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psalmsofpsychosis · 2 months

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So if Bruce and Alfred's humanity is a disfigured shadow they'd like to have gone, what about the Joker??

Is his humanity a knife made of fish hooks with which he rips parts of people out, taking a little of their humanity with him? He uses it as a tool to hurt others and himself and acknowledges his humanity once in a while, while Bruce pretends to be unfeeling and cold, a monster in the dark that you should be afraid of.

Only the problem is that the Joker can see through Batman's facade and that the fish hook can't scratch a shadow or catch anything on stone. And even if he rips through Bruce's flesh, his shadow is a separate thing entirely, detached from his body, unchanging even if an arm goes missing.

Oh look, I wrote something again. What do you think? Is a fish hook an accurate metaphor or do you have something else in mind? Would love to hear your thoughts!!!

[in continuation of this ask]

❤️ so i'm lowkey in love with how you interpreted Joker's relationship with his own humanity and other people's, there's something so intricate and so right about the way you phrased it— maybe not the knife, but he absolutely works like a fish hook. I think that Joker isn't interested in anyone's humanity, his own or Batman's or anyone else's. To me though, he's in mad love with all things true and real and pure and sublime. He wants the untainted untouched heart of everything in a very idealistic sense, but not necessarily in a good sense. He doesn't want violence, he doesn't want evil, he doesn't want goodness; he wants the unbearable highest point of pure evil, he wants the most sublime expression of unflinching goodness. There's a reason why he works so-and-so in his dynamic with most villains, but comes alive when he's facing Batman. Batman as a persona is an ideal that does not bend to the reality surrounding Bruce, the "no killing" code doesn't adopt or respond to much anything that gets thrown Batman's way, it's almost pure good (except that it's not because Batman can only deny his humanity for so long and when it eventually bursts through the metaphorical door of his mind, both him and Joker hate it.)

So like, yeah, fish hook. I think Joker throws fish hooks into people's psyche and pulls out what he believes is their true, core nature, their essence. It's what he needs, he desperately wants to get to the very heart of existence, so he continuously claws people's core out of them, or what he thinks is their core. And he does it the most with Batman precisely because Batman provides a challenge. I dont think at any given time Batman truly knows what his core is, so he gets to define it. He defines his identity with his bare hands and that's both his biggest strength and his weakness. Strength because it gives him the power of choice, he's not necessarily what you'd call a good person, but he makes the conscious choice to do good and his choice defines him, but also it's a weakness because by choice he's leaving massive parts of himself out of the picture, and he never really... gets to exist as a human being, always present only in carefully curated bits and pieces. That leaves him vulnurable to attack because well, what you dont see and down own you cannot defend.

That also makes him the most fun handmade project for Joker to break, because as you said, Joker is /very/ good at seeing the holistic picture of Batman's identity, and Joker is objectively more oriented towards reality, the reality of their context and where they live. It's part of the reason his insanity is so compelling; it's intentional, not as in he's faking his insanity, but as in, he understands social structures and people's humanity so damn well and he flies off the handle in precise ways that respond to them that brings of of them exactly what he wants, he orients his insanity to different contexts and people very well. He's a paradigm breaker and a people breaker but you can only successfully break what you understand very well.

As for Joker's own humanity? i think he hates it and resents it and fears it because well, it's not sublime and true and pure, it's just human. Actually lot of Joker and Batman's dynamic is built around this sense of idealism and purity really, they both struggle so hard with just fucking being. Joker can't even be an average villain, he has to push it on every fucking front and be the most exceptional vile and grotesque face of evil, only then does he feel like himself.

Honestly if i had to make an allegory for Joker and Batman's relationship with each other's humanity, [tw mentions of suicide attempt] it'd be the story of two children, each one bringing the other a chair and a rope to dangle from the cieling, each taunting the other to hang themselves, not by the premise of dying, but by the premise that "you having your head near the cieling is the closest you'll be to g-d, and you'll be good and true", and they tell each other that the chair is their enemy, they dont need it.

#i'm sorry for the graphic metaphor #it's just that to me their dynamic has this almost childlike level of purity to it #it's the [grotesque] idealism but also the fact that they dont interact like fully grown adults with complex thought processes #and intricate emotional nuances to the way they navigate each other #they interact like 12 years old lovestruck kids high on the 2 boxes of oxys that they stole from mama's purse #i love them i want to study them under microscope #but i know i'll slurp them up right from the petri dish before i get behind the table #Batman #batman meta #dc joker #joker meta #batjokes #batjokes meta

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angelsfalling16 · 2 years

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Kiss and Make Up

Summary: After an encounter in the Wavering Woods, most of Simon's clothes have been burnt off, but he refuses to get dressed until Baz admits that the fight was his fault.

A/N: I am very late with this fic, but this is what I wrote for this year's @carryon-reverse-bang. I want to say a huge thank you to my artist in this event, @cutestkilla, who was completely understanding and patient when I needed an extension to finish this fic and too stressed by work to be able to focus on this fic. I could not have asked for a better or kinder partner, and I have loved working with her. Also, her art is amazing, and I’ve included it at the beginning of the fic!! It was so fun to write a fic based on her work!

Word Count: 4689

Read the fic on ao3 or down below

Simon

There is a distinct scent of campfire in our room. You know, that smell when the fire is beginning to die out and it's more smoke than anything. Plus, there's actually smoke in our room. I'm not sure if it's from my clothes - what remains of it anyway - or the feeling of being about to go off that still hasn't dissipated.

I've been trying to calm down, but it isn’t working, which is only frustrating me even more. I've been taking deep breaths and trying to focus on something other than the anger that I feel coursing through my veins like something’s alive that’s just waiting to take over.

I hate feeling like this, like I have no control over my feelings or my reactions to them. I can’t even get mad without nearly blowing everything up, the way I did tonight.

Baz is in the bathroom, and I focus on the sound of the water running from the sink. It’s a normal, soothing sound, and it actually works in helping me to get my breathing under control, and after a few minutes, I no longer feel like a ticking bomb, waiting for the moment when the time runs out and I go off, destroying everything in my path.

Baz exits the bathroom, and the sneer he gives me is almost enough to break through the sense of calm that I was just beginning to feel.

“Aren’t you going to get dressed?”

I shrug. “I don’t have anything else to wear.” Everything else I own is disgustingly dirty, and my uniform has practically disintegrated, an unfortunate side effect to going off so close to the flames that Baz was hurling my way.

I don’t even know what we were fighting about. Probably something stupid. We hurling insults and shoving each other and I dont know. I guess I got so worked up that I couldn’t control my magic, and I just went off.

I was relieved that Baz wasn’t actually hurt, but he still yelled at me the whole way up to our room, acting like the whole thing was entirely my fault and he had nothing to with it, which isn’t really fair because he was the one who brought magic into the fight to begin with, summoning a flame with an irritating effortlessness.

And now he’s looking at me like he’s disgusted by me and my actions, and I won’t let him win that easily.

“I will get dressed as you as you apologize.”

He glares at me. “I have nothing to apologize for. You are the one who nearly killed us.”

I roll my eyes. “You’re perfectly fine. The only thing that happened was our clothes got badly singed, and that was from your fire.”

I shake my head because that just isn’t true. I was minding my own business, walking through the Wavering Woods when he confronted me. And yeah, maybe I got a little more defensive than was strictly necessary, but Baz drives me crazy. He gets under my skin so easily, and once that starts to happen, I’m hopeless to control my emotions, which seems to be intricately connected with my volatile magic.

I don’t want to argue with him anymore, so I pick up a book that I discarded on my desk earlier today and pretend to read it.

I can feel the force of Baz’s glare, but he doesn’t say anything else. He stomps over to his desk and opens up his laptop.

It seems he won’t be apologizing anytime soon. And that’s fine with me. I still feel too warm from our fight to be comfortable in clothes, so the cool air on my skin feels nice.

Baz

I have my laptop open in an attempt to work on the essay I need to complete for our Greek class, but I just can't focus on it. I get two, very mediocre, introductory sentences written before I glance off to the side, catching a glimpse of Simon's bare chest out of the corner of my eye.

I immediately snap my eyes back to my computer, but I know I won't be getting this assignment done tonight, not with Simon’s golden skin exposed like that, so close to me.

I pull up a new tab and switch over to one of my favorite sites, hoping for a distraction. I start scrolling, but I don't really take any of it in.

My eyes glaze over yet another gif of the angels falling, something that the Supernatural fandom doesn't seem likely to get over anytime soon. I keep scrolling passing similar gifs, some accompanied with the characters' reactions to the angels falling. I scroll past a long post, probably something informational, which I would usually be interested in but can't focus on right now, so I keep scrolling, words and images passing quickly by as my attention is drawn elsewhere.

My eyes keep drifting away from the screen and over to a mostly naked Simon. "Would you please put some clothes on?" I ask for probably the hundredth time. I'm practically begging at this point.

"I will," he says, and I sigh, some of the tension leaving my body, but then he continues speaking and it comes right back. "Once you admit that this is your fault."

I grind my teeth. Yelling at him hasn't worked thus far, so maybe a kinder approach will work.

"I can see why you might think that it was my fault, but I think we were both equally to blame. I will admit that we both played a part in the events that led to your being...underdressed. But I will not accept the full blame."

He seems to take my words into consideration for a moment, but then he shakes his head. "That's not good enough."

I take a deep breath, still trying not to yell. "You could at least use a blanket to cover up."

"Why does it bother you so much?"

"How would you like it if I was just sitting here in my pants?"

"Go for it! I wouldn't mind." A pause as his cheeks turn a dark shade of pink. "I-I mean. I w-wouldn’t care." He shrugs like that's explanation enough.

I don't think either of us knows how to respond, but I definitely will not be taking my clothes off.

We stare at each other for another long moment, then I turn my attention back to my computer, my eyes glazing over the images as I continue to scroll. All I can see is Simon stretched out on his bed, practically naked, that damned cross between his teeth, which I’m not sure he even realizes he’s doing.

I could probably come up with a spell that would clothe him, but he'd probably remove them just to spite me, and watching him strip is the last thing that I can handle right now. It's bad enough, his body is on display. It's driving me mad.

Simon

Baz turns back to his computer, but my cheeks are still burning with the embarrassment of what I said. I almost want to put my clothes on so that I can leave our room and the awkwardness of that moment. But I can't let Baz win.

I turn my attention back to the book that I'm supposed to be reading for a class, flipping to a random page, but I don’t even look at it. I can't stop thinking about what I said. Not because it was embarrassing. (I'm always saying embarrassing things in front of Baz. Nothing ever seems to come out right.) But because it came out so quickly, like it was the truth.

Would I mind if Baz took his clothes off? No. Not really. I mean, he's not ugly. He's muscular from all the running he does in football, and I'm sure he wouldn't be bad to look at.

But I didn't mean it like that. Like I want him to take his clothes off. Obviously, I don't go around wishing that I could see more of Baz's body. I don't care. I know he looks good. But I don't have any secret desire to see his naked body.

But now I'm sure that's what Baz thinks.

I need to come up with a way to let him know that I don't want him to take his clothes off without it coming off as weird.

Baz

Simon seems to be spiraling. He's thinking so loud that it's distracting. His leg is jiggling so hard the bed is vibrating, and his teeth are grinding, making a sound that has me clenching my own teeth. It's distracting, but it’s also nice to know that he isn’t taking any pleasure from this whole situation.

One of us is going to have to stop being stubborn so that we can put an end to this whole thing, but it can’t be. This was not my fault, no matter how much he wants to believe it is. He is the one who went off, destroying his clothes in the process.

Bringing fire into our fight was admittedly a bit of an overstep, but I was just so mad. I’m not even sure that I was at mad at Simon, though. I think I was mostly mad at myself for the way that my heart wouldn’t stop racing just from running into him in the Woods.

I hate how deeply I feel for Simon, and I hate how unrequited those feelings are even more. It isn’t right for me to take my frustrations out on Simon all the time, but I don’t know what else to do. I wish that just once, he would look at me without the usual hatred and suspicion in his eyes.

Simon

Baz is focused back on his computer and seeing that he’s not going to admit to his fault anytime soon, I focus my attention more intently on the book in my hand, which I only now realize is upside down. Turning it the right way round, I decide that it can’t hurt to at least attempt to do some reading.

A half hour passes, and I’ve only managed to get through a handful of pages. It’s always been a struggle for me to read quickly, but I’ve got the added distraction of being barely clothed and freezing because the crisp fall air coming in is not a comfort to me anymore. Not that I would ever admit that to Baz by closing the window. I also can’t pull a blanket over me because that would be almost like getting dressed and letting Baz win. Instead, I turn back to the book, which is when I realize that I’m not even on the chapter for this week’s assignment.

Sighing, I close the book with unintended force and toss it aside. The sound draws Baz’s attention, and his gaze flickers from my face to the discarded book, then back to my face, then lower towards—.

He turns back around abruptly, not saying a word.

Hmm. That’s interesting.

Perhaps there’s more to his desire for me to get dressed than he let on. I may be oblivious at times, which Penny never fails to point out, but I’m not an idiot. I can tell that Baz is uncomfortable. And maybe I’m the one who’s being an arse here by refusing to get dressed.

“I’m sorry.” I’m not sure who’s more surprised by the words. It’s what I meant to say, but they came from Baz. “I’m sorry, okay?” He repeats, standing but still not looking at me. Then, “Will you get dressed now?” he asks before storming out of our room, slamming the door behind him and leaving an eerie silence in his wake.

I’m too stunned to move for a moment. That was really strange. I didn’t actually expect Baz to apologize. I thought that we would sit in a tense silence for the rest of the night, and in the morning, when I would be forced to find clothes in order to go to breakfast, I would ask for a new uniform. Baz’s reaction was completely unexpected and leaves me with a whole slew of questions. I can’t just let it go, so I stand and quickly spur into action.

Baz

I couldn’t stand being in our room for a moment longer. I had to get out of there, and this was the only place I could think of to go. The dark, rat-infested Catacombs, which creates the perfect ambiance for me to sit in self-pity and try not to hate myself for the feelings I’ve been struggling to keep ahold of all night.

Simon was driving me crazy, stretched out on his bead with his gorgeous golden skin and freckles out on display. It was taking everything I had in me not to openly stare at him, which proved extremely difficult when all I wanted to do was reach out and touch.

I was so close to giving in to my deepest desires, which is why I had to leave so abruptly. I wasn’t sure how much longer I could hold onto my self-control. I just need a moment to breathe before I go back, and hopefully, since I apologized, Simon will be fully dressed when I return.

Simon

I honestly don’t have any clothes of my own that are currently wearable, and I will have to wait until morning to request new ones. (It won’t be anything people aren’t used to. I’m always ruining my clothes in one way or another, especially when I’m going on missions for the Mage.) That only leaves me with two options, and I’m certain that Baz would hate for me to chase after him in nothing but my pants even more than he would if I were to borrow some of his clothes.

I only hesitate briefly before making my way across the room to his wardrobe. I pull out the first things I see, which happen to be a pair of grey joggers that are softer than anything I’ve ever felt and one of his old football jerseys, which is a little worn and faded, but almost as soft as the joggers. I change into them quickly and slip into some shoes before racing after Baz.

I always forget just how fast he can move but am quickly reminded when I step out of [name of the building] and he’s nowhere to be seen. It doesn’t take me long to figure out where he went, though, since I’m almost certain that he wouldn’t head back to the woods after the events that transpired there earlier this evening.

That only leaves one place. The Catacombs.

I spent a lot of time during our 5th year following him around down here, but I haven’t been back here since I confronted him, hoping he would admit to being a vampire but finding him drunk and depressed instead. I felt a little bit bad about intruding on that moment and decided to just leave him be whenever he needed time to disappear down here – I could always prove he was a vampire some other way – but after his reaction in our room, I had to follow him down here to see what was up.

Why would he suddenly give in and apologize? Why would me being so scantily dressed make him so uncomfortable? Whatever the reasons, I still owe him an apology of my own. I pushed him too far, and I never wanted to make him uncomfortable. Irritated? Yes. Annoyed? Absolutely. But uncomfortable? That was never my intention.

It doesn’t take me long to find him, slumped against the wall, head down, and looking exhausted. Our fight earlier must have taken a lot more out of him that he was showing before.

I know he had to have heard him walking towards him, but he doesn’t look up or acknowledge my presence in any way besides the tension now apparent in his jaw.

“Baz,” I begin, but I’m not sure how to finish. I don’t think I’ve ever really apologized to Baz despite the number of times I probably should have. It’s new territory for me, and words have never been my strong suit.

“Why won’t you just leave me alone?” He sneers in typical Baz fashion.

Baz

I don’t know why I’m so surprised that he followed me down here. He never has been able to let things go.

I can’t quite bring myself to open my eyes, worried that he’ll still be wearing basically nothing and that the sense of calm I was finally beginning to feel will dissipate immediately. I do it immediately because apparently, I am on some sort of masochistic streak.

Simon

Baz finally opens his eyes, but it seems to take a moment for him to actually notice what I’m wearing. I can see it in his expression the moment he recognizes my clothes as his own because his eyebrows rise almost comically just before he schools his expression back into a sneer.

“Glad to see you finally decided to get dressed,” he murmurs coolly.

I open my mouth to retort but take a deep breath so that my voice is calm when I say, “I don’t want to fight anymore.”

Baz’s sneer shifts slightly into a frown. “Then why did you follow me down here?”

That’s a good question; the answer to which I’m not completely sure of myself when I could have just waited for him to return to the room. For some reason, I felt a sense of urgency in regard to figuring out why he was so upset. I should have expected him to see this as a fight.

“To apologize,” I say because it’s the best answer that I can seem to come up with.

Baz

I’m not sure that I actually believe that Simon came all the way down here just to apologize, but I decide to hear him out because he sounds like he really means it. And because I would let him do practically anything while he’s wearing my old jersey. (How have I never imagined what he would like in it? And how does he manage to look so bloody attractive despite it not really fitting him?)

Simon is quiet for a while, and I start to wonder if he thinks that simply declaring that he needs to apologize is apology enough. Which it isn’t. And frankly, it's pretty irritating that he would think so. Before I can tell him this, though, he starts to speak.

“I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable by refusing to put clothes on. It was stupid of me and honestly such a ridiculous stance to take.” Simon is being strangely honest. I don’t think he’s ever admitted to doing something stupid even though a lot of the stuff he does is frankly very stupid. So, why is he doing this? Why does he care that he was making me uncomfortable when he was so obviously trying to irritate me? What’s the difference and why does it matter to him?

“Thank you.” I’m not sure what else to say. He doesn’t want to argue, so I won’t. And I’m not sure why I’m doing that either. Maybe it’s the look on his face: open and honest. Or maybe it’s because I’m not sure what was worse: him not being dressed or him being dressed in my clothes. Either way, it’s probably best to say whatever I need to get him to leave me alone so that I don’t do something stupid myself.

Simon

I’m not sure what to do or say now that I have apologized. I should probably just leave, but something is keeping me here. Something that is obviously being unsaid. Something that has likely gone unsaid for a long time. Something that I know I’ll regret saying if I can even possibly find the words. Something I’ve not wanted to admit to myself for so long that I’m only just realizing it now.

“Baz,” I say, again unsure how to complete that sentence but making an attempt anyway, “I hate fighting with you.

Baz

I find it shocking how much those words seem to hurt me, like each one is a small puncture wound to my barely beating heart. I know it sounds ridiculous – because it absolutely is – but if Simon and I aren’t fighting, what does that leave us as? Just two guys who share a room? That would be even worse than all the fighting. To me anyway, because at least when we’re fighting, he sees me; he interacts with me.

If we’re just acquaintances, will he even notice me? Or will I fall to the background of the hero story he seems to be playing out at the Mage’s insistence?

I want to tell him no, or even just to ask him why he has had the sudden change of heart, but since he just said he didn’t want to fight anymore, it is probably best that I don’t immediately start an argument.

“Okay,” I say even though it’s an added punch to my already wounded heart. “So what does that make us?” I ask because I can’t help it and because I have to know. “Acquaintances? Friends?” I nearly laugh at how implausible the second one sounds. Simon and I could never be friends. We can’t even have an argument without nearly blowing up the school.

“Maybe,” he says with a shrug. “Or…”

Simon

“Or…” I drift off for a moment, wondering if I’m actually going to do this. Am I really going to risk all of this for the slightest possibility that the way that Baz looked at me earlier actually meant something? What if I’m wrong? What if I change my mind? What if I’m wrong about this feeling in my chest?

I won’t delude myself. I know that there is a slim chance that Baz would ever want to be anything other than enemies with me, but even if there is the most miniscule chance, don’t I owe it to myself – and maybe even to him – to at least try?

If he’s felt this way – the way I’ve felt but am only just now beginning to understand – for any amount of time, wouldn’t it be better to risk it all for something good than to coast through the next two years hating each other or even just ignoring each other’s existence.

It’s a huge leap, and I know I’m setting myself up for something painful, but it’s too late to go back now. I have to push through this. Get it over with and hope for the best.

“Or maybe—,” deep breath “—we could be more than friends.”

The words are out, and there is no taking them back now. I don’t think I would even if I could. It feels good to say them, to put that out there, even though it’s terrifying to wait for his response while he stares at me in a stunned silence.

And then he continues to just silently stare at me, his expression completely unreadable, and I start to wonder if maybe there is a way I can take it all back. Perhaps I could claim some sort of brain injury from our early fight. Or I could say it was all a joke to try to irritate him further. Although that seems senselessly cruel.

And anyway, I don't want to take it back. I put myself out there, and yes, it's terrifying, but I never would have thought I could do something like that. Admit to liking a boy — especially who I have pretended to hate for so long it seems like it might be impossible to get back from that. But I want to try, if he'll let me.

Right now, I just need him to say something. Anything. So that I'm not standing here like a fool.

Finally, his expression shifts, but it's still unreadable, even as he says, "Are you joking?"

I can't tell if he means it in an Are you an idiot? sort of way or a Do you really want that? way.

Hoping it's the latter, I say, "No, I really mean that. I want to be more than friends with you. If you want," I add with slightly less confidence, and I swear if he keeps staring at me without a word, I might go off again. Which would be rather unfortunate because I'd hate to ruin these impossibly soft clothes.

Baz

I honestly cannot tell whether Simon is joking. He said he wasn't, bit am I really supposed to just take him at his word?

I mean, I guess I could, but it's difficult to leap and hope that he will catch me. I want him to and he's looking at me like he will but….

I have to stop being so negative. If there is any chance that this will go anywhere, then I have to take a chance on Simon. On us.

Simon

Baz takes a step towards me, and I freeze, not totally sure that he isn't about to throttle me.

He takes another step, and my hand goes instinctively to where the Sword of Mages sits invisible at my hip.

One more step, and there's barely a foot of space between us.

One last step, and his hands are on my face, pulling me closer and stealing my breath away.

Baz

Simon doesn't make a move to stop me as I move closer to him, slowly as if approaching a deer I hope not to startle before I can catch it. Except, I want to do a very different thing with my mouth once I get my hands on Simon than I would do with the deer.

He doesn't flinch when I bring my hands up to his face, and that's when I start to fully believe that this is real. That he was being genuine about what he wanted.

I take a moment to stare into his ordinary blue eyes for a moment, making sure that there's no uncertainty in them before closing the distance between us.

Simon

The kiss starts out soft and gentle as our lips hesitantly press together, then once we get the feel for each other, we both start to lean into it and deepen the kiss.

Eventually, one of my hands finds its way into his hair, tangling there, while the other settles on his hips, gently pinning him to the wall. One of his hands slides down to the back of my neck, holding me there against him like he never wants to let go, while the other travels slowly down to the edge of my shirt — or rather, his shirt — before dipping under where the chill of his touch sends shivers throughout my entire body.

I never thought that being with Baz like this would feel so good.

Baz

I'm not entirely sure how long Simon and I spend down in the Catacombs, exploring each other's mouths and pushing and pulling at each other ever so slightly, almost like we're so used to fighting that we still do it even when we're kissing. All I know is that when we finally emerge into the late night, Simon's hand is in mine, and I can't seem to stop smiling.

Our earlier fight has been all but forgotten, and I'm trying to figure out a way that I can get him to wear my clothes more often. He's gorgeous in them, and I can't seem to keep my hands off of him when his arse looks like that in my joggers. Something about it just gets to me.

It's safe to say that we do more kissing than sleeping that night, but the sleep deprivation is worth it because when Simon asks if this makes us boyfriends somewhere around 3 in the morning, I don't hesitate to say yes.

I'm not completely sure how we went from nearly burning down the woods to dating, but I will say that this has truly been the happiest day of my life so far.

#snowbaz #snowbaz fic #the simon snow series #co/ws/awtwb #rainbow rowell #my writing #corb 2022 #carry on reverse bang #kiss and make up #20 first kisses

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erosofthepen · 2 years

Note

i dont have any specific requests but just. Kili. thoughts on Kili.

i have so many thoughts on kili you came to the right person

things i hc abt kili:

-he has a journal he writes in religiously. its all poetry and random thoughts and pressed flowers or other flora he's found that catches his eye. he doodles pretty things in it as well, from crystal caves to the fire of the forge.

-mans is a hopeless romantic. all he wants is an epic beautiful story-for-the-ages whirlwind romance that is fueled by passion and love. and whilst his romances might not always work out the way his 200k fanfic he wrote in his teens did, he never gives them up and relishes each experience. Even bad romances fuel his poetry writing at least. And with his One, when he finally meets them, he does all the simp-worthy romantic shit, from picking bouquets to opening doors.

-drawing from the poetry, kili is incredibly intelligent, at least literature-wise. dont get me wrong, mans is a dumbass and a himbo, but he could talk for hours on end on how the structure of a syllable scheme can make or break a poem. he's very well versed in symbolism and dwarven mythology and lore, and, next to ori, is the best person able to understand and find the deeper meaning in different works, and discuss them thoroughly.

-kili honestly isn't the best in the forges. he does alright, but his skill is comparable to an average human blacksmith. his real talent in metalworking comes to the details. like carving dozens of intricate lines into a single ring, or carving a whole battle scene on the inside of a bracelet. it's a skill he is very proud of, even if he can't even forge a good knife.

-mama's boy. i feel like thorin kind overlooked kili a lot growing up, his focus was on fili, being the heir and all, so kili didn't have a super strong adult male figure in his life. he had his mom, which is arguably better for him. like he'd spend all day helping dis in her shop or at her trade, and just chilling with his amad.

-he knows how to cook. like dis probs taught him, needed at least one son capable of creating edible food (she gave up with fili, who took after thorin in this way), and by god kili learned fast. he knows what he's doing in the kitchen. he is this whole video.

-i also think kili would be the type of dwarf to collect shineys. like crystals and fun rocks and bits of jewelry. he has corvid like tendencies and has pouches and boxes full of his collections.

-mans is deeply insecure. this hc is pretty popular, but like with no beard and being the dwarf version of a tall lanky string bean, he has body image issues. he doesn't have a lot of problems with confidence, like fake it till you make it vibes, but when it comes down to him and his One, he needs validation. he needs to know that he is the prettiest boy. just needs reminding and loving.

-coming from the insecure place, i believe later in life kili has a huge glow up. to quote my dear friend @cutie-cutter, "he's a late bloomer, but by god he blooms". like maybe in his 90s all of a sudden he fills out a lot, some nice body fat over all that muscle, and then starts growing a really nice beard. like it ain't super long but its thick and lush and ideal for braiding. he is the prettiest boy.

-kili is also the ultimate wingman. like when he's younger he doesn't have the looks but he has the game with his words alone. with fili its the opposite, fili's like mr. knightly in the sense of "if i loved you less i might be able to talk about it more", he ain't good with all the cute romantic shit. but kili helps him by writing poems and teaching him lines at the small price of taking his dessert for a week.

-(kinda nsfw?) while young and still escorting merchants with fili, i feel like kili def. got himself some fun nights at brothels. like he'd be more than willing to spend all his earnings in one night for some... special treatment. I also hc that kili didn't really get with women a lot when a younger adult, mostly men, bcs mans has daddy issues like you wont believe. the bisexual also probs thinks his chances with women are low anyways, since women in dwarven culture can be picky and usually go for ones with looks, or at least a full beard.

-(nsfwish) also going back to his journal, he also has a hell of a lot of erotic poetry in there. he'll spend stanzas describing sensations and the aesthetics of a particularly steamy night, and if someone catches his eye he could go on and on about them. absolutely no one is allowed to see his journal besides him (thorin found it once and just sighed in disappointment and wishing he had bleach before closing it and never bringing it up), and it is kept out of sight at all times. it would be very interesting for his One to find it though, and all the different scenarios that could play out...

that's all for now, thank you for this ask!! love talking about this bisexual whore of a man.

#kili #the hobbit #kili headcannons #headcannons #fili #ori #thorin #dís #erosofthepens thoughts #tolkien #asks

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coldvampire · 1 year

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on nines' wiki for fic stuff, have some copy-paste of me going Feral about him and kat in discord

crying thinking abt how genuinely kat will compliment her man & how inadvertantly Serious she gets bc she really does sincerely mean it & it would be easier to process if she was actually doing it to fluster him but no sometimes she just gets into a certain mood

also the idea of her like hgjhkj absolutely backing him 100% when other barons push back on shit like this, knowing that her reputation is in a very strange place where too much will be seen as in poor form but not really caring bc she knows how to exude enough bad vibes to get people to shut up lmao. his coterie might feel the same as she does but they dont have the same effect on audiences, the ventrue aura of 'listen to me or Else' comes in handy and he gfhjk doesnt quite know how to feel abt it being used for him lmao

she does love how much he cares tho,,, its a very sexy quality its not smth shes used to. she might not completely Agree with him all the time but the way she completely trusts him overrides that so it doesnt actually Matter. & i think she also sort of uses that as a better moral compass than the one thats been trained into her, like inherently she sees herself as a semi-bad person bc of how shes able to detach from certain decisions and thats just not how he operates & she has a lot of respect for that (& probably also misses the fact that if we're comparing traumas hers are a lot more. uh. Direct lmfao.)

also god love her but she is Not a Car Girl TM. she will sit there in the garage trying her hardest to follow along & ask questions but rly truly, she has no idea wtf he is saying to her. she recognizes that he is talking about parts and seems Excited & shes just glad it requires minimal thought on her end beyond very basic open ended questions. im pretty sure he thinks she understands a Lot more about mechanical stuff than she actually does bc shes very good at picking out important words and repeating them gfhjjfdgfhg shes not TRYING to bullshit interest she just doesnt have the heart to tell him she have 0 comprehension of anything he said just now. he is so stressed so much she wants him to be happy & relaxed whenever theres an opportunity for it :(

also he listens to her interests gfhgjh even if theyre significantly less technical lmao. she likes dissecting the manufactured drama & relationships of reality tv and stuff like that bc it reminds her of a Much lower stakes version of kindred politics & the pettiness is entertaining to her. he also gets to hold her while they watch on the couch or in bed while she goes & picks apart all of the 'fighting' and production tampering & he loves hearing her talk in general but its kind of fascinating to him how she can take something so shallow & dissect it, loves how Perceptive she is when it comes to people in particular. i think sometimes if she's maybe squirming a bit much or maybe if he just feels like it he'll offer to paint her nails. she's really on top of keeping up a manicure but doesnt always do acrylics & i think he would actually get fairly into the fact that 1. its essentially just Hand Holding for a reason and 2. it requires a decently steady hand & attention to detail so it doesnt get messed up and as someone who restores bikes with tiny intricate mechanical parts, hes surprisingly well suited to this. i bet he would do little designs too if he had the tools for it. it just feels good to do something for her :')

she knows jewellery even if she doesnt know fuck all about mechanics. firmly believe she just buys him stuff all the time & shes stupidly good at nailing what someone's preferred style is. like i dont think hes ever had someone who just casually gets so many things bc 'i saw this and thought of you' and again acts like its nbd??? because it is?? shes like yeah ofc why Wouldnt i? & tbh i dont even think that the gifts stop with him either once the rest of his coterie realizes shes cool and not a camarilla mole lmao they also start getting little things. jewellery keychains shirts Whatever, all usually just dropped into their hands mid-conversation with very little acknowledgment from her. if you mention youve had your eye on a bracelet or smth she'll just grab it without thinking. if Really pressed she'll probably brush it off as 'i wasnt spending my money anyway' (girl likes to take cash when she feeds from the wealthier Reverse Orphans TM especially if theyre also cheating gfhjhj) but rly. she just enjoys making people happy, which is also something her adores about her. its the casual way its just ingrained into her personality & how she doesnt make a huge deal about it, its just how she is.

ofc he always makes sure to take care of her back, she clearly expresses affection in gift giving and acts of service but she likes quality time & physical touch for herself. which is absolutely okay by his book, he was never even close to being as touch starved as she was at any point whereas she went literal Years without being touched in some way that wasnt negative or hurtful in some form. its overwhelming for her initially & she doesnt really know how to Ask for contact but by god she gets it through him. he's always loved holding her; she just seems to tuck in Perfectly into his arms. if she's maybe getting too overwhelmed with that then he's also good to switch gears to maybe just having a hand on her back or leg or holding her hand bc there's a period right when they first officially get together where she's still trying to level herself out after so much isolation. & he's such a constant reassuring presence, it almost doesn't feel real.

tbh if he wasn't as stable as he was im not sure she would have been able to heal properly after killing her sire, she had spent so long tethered to that man and shaping her life around running from him that she didnt quite know what to Do with herself when he was gone. nines didnt explicitly provide a 'purpose' for her life, he just gave her a place to rest and recuperate while she figured herself out and started to understand the fact that she was finally safe. & that's another thing, her sire might have been a genuine threat to the point she didnt want to risk his safety, but everything else? i doubt there would be any stopping his protection instincts. sometimes thats a concern to her, but again, she needed to be with someone who would be able to be that type of support & strength while she finally released literal decades of repressed trauma & a constant fight or flight state. he cant protect her from her own mind, but he can put a stop to any outside threats. she's never had that. he might have been abandoned by a ton of people in his life, but she would have taken that over the active harm/passive allowance of harm. understanding that, to him, she is someone worth protecting? its a wild learning curve.

im also sure theres some angst to be found in his history of being abandoned + her former commitment fear that evolved into the constant need to Be Around Him but also consider: the amount of comfort he would finally have knowing theres a 99% chance if theyre at home he just has to walk into the next room to see her (assuming she isnt already closer) & how she openly admits to wanting him on all levels, like shes not just gonna be someone else who walks out of his life. absolutely her favourite spot in the world is curls up beside him, like thats where she considers Home to be and ohh man. i think that just stirs smth up in him internally. ofc he cares about a lot of people and a lot of people care about him back but this is Different. in retrospect, knowing what she went through just to be able to sit here with him? even though there was a chance she would be rejected for not being transparent with her situation prior & never fully committing (even if she otherwise would have)? knowing he might be Too Hurt to let her back in and trying it anyway & letting him take the lead on the pacing and decide what it was He needed, that's insane. but she wanted to be with him so badly it was a risk she was willing to take on, which is telling bc her whole thing was caution to the point of being detrimental to herself.

it's like,,, he knows how it feels to have followers. but just like he did with her, she was able to peel back layers and layers of public-facing personality traits & see who he was in the privacy of his own home, and Still wanted him. imo even though he knows how to command a room, he's still not 100% positive what it is about Him Specifically that makes him so special to everyone else aside form being the guy who was in the right place at the right time to make a reputation for himself. but she's like. the one person where he actually feels like he maybe understand why she looks at him that way, & its still a nebulous feeling, but its more Concrete than what he gets from starry-eyed fledglings. kat is not and has never been someone who gives people more credit than they deserve or who blindly follows people. she's harsh and she has to have a Reason to do that.

if theres ever a situation where she has to drink blood outside of her restriction, you know he's gonna be the one to take care of her. she's not a fan of it, she's in pain and she feels gross and doesn't want him to Watch the whole episode, but why would he be put off by it? they both came from big families with plenty of kids, the threshold for being grossed out by that stuff is really goddamn high for them both lmao. also she looks completely Miserable curled up on the floor like that, if she needs someone to hold her hair and rub her back a bit then okay! she will have that its what she deserves! she's gonna resist a little at first bc she was always the one doing that for her sisters being the oldest with no mother/mother figure for most of their lives but like with a lot of stuff he does, she will relax and melt into the touch after a bit and start to physically decompress. if she's up for up she will also be carried to whichever soft surface she desires, no questions asked.

theyre so domestic it Hurts. fully believe the only actual regret she has about the relationship is missing the boat on them both being human & getting to live that normal suburban family life bc she know she would have completely abandoned her Rich Husband goals & it would have been fine in the end + her dad would have loved him. theres a very deep part of her psyche with a list of names that would have sounded fantastic for theoretical children like fdgfhgjh god. she is so far gone for him, 'vampires dont love' my ASS. not to be cheesy but he's It for her, even when theyre in a rough spot she literally cannot imagine being around anyone else or giving herself to someone so fully like that and trusting that they won't use that against her or shatter her heart in the process.

i just gfsfdhgfrwhgqsahxgfghgfejgwdshhjgrf theyre so in love. SO in love.

#oc tag #katerina irakleidis #nines rodriguez #i love them sosososososo much #this is just gfhgjh pure gushing under here lmao

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souryogurt64 · 1 year

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Hi. It's really late where I'm at(it's one of Europe's capital cities, hence all the mistakes that's going to happen) and I just finished reading your essay on Gray and there is no coherent though left in my head, except reading it was such a blast. It also hurt me very badly and I cried at one point or two, but that's fine, that's how I know it's good stuff. I'd love nothing more than to have like an hour long conversation about all that you wrote, it's so interesting Nd thought-out. But it's late, my brain has been scorched completely and I had to bring out alcohol for section about mother. So I'll just let you know it's one of the cleveres, eloquent things I've ever read. This is my equivalent of that 6-hour long yt video on Victorious, only catering exactly to my needs. Also, bless your heart, I love knowing about this book but I couldn't bring myself to read it even at the gunpoint.

Thank you for reading it, I really appreciate it! I'd be happy to answer any questions you have about it lol

That book blows my mind, I know that everyone thinks that it's this like terrible whiny rockstar sex misogyny book but the amount of effort and skill that went into writing something that looked like it was that but wasnt but you only noticed if you managed to figure out like the insane 4D chess happening is just genuinely so insane it blows my mind.

i always knew there was something about it cuz on. on the first reading i was only like 14 but i picked up on the freud stuff which made me positive it was satire, and i thought a few other things about it were strange.

but i think in college when i started reading the sun also rises and tender is the night very closely the gears started to turn, i had severely lapsed in my fall out boy obsession for about four years while i was in college but i took this class called "americans in paris" where we read a lot of hemingway and fitzgerald and some other stuff and all i could think about was the book, and i remember reading tender is the night and it felt like i was reading petes book again even though i dont think pete cares about fitzgerald at all

and then i didnt really talk about this in the dissertation i just alluded to it because i didnt particularly want to include a 3 page accusation of a violation of journalistic ethics but i kind of blindly stumbled backwards into some of the stuff with his cowriter while writing the peteryan thing (and then more after the brent wilson thing). and i started to understand how the unreliable narration in the book worked because the articles were written the same way. and i was like ohhh okay and then i noticed the allusions and parentheses and it snowballed from there like that old Playstation game where you roll a ball around collecting garbage until it gets big enough to become a planet

I also know it was excessively niche and very excessively and intricately detailed to the point of being a bit ridiculous but i kind of wanted to respect the fact that its supposed to be a secret and hide the explanation of the book under a bunch of drivel about the drafting process that maybe 3 people on planet earth care about. i probably would have gotten 10-20x more clicks if i had just written about the roman a clef part but alas i have ethics

anyway i have a big dramatic work thing next week and then i am going to finish my cross stitch and listen to the beautiful and the damned on audiobook and try not to think about pete wentz. like at all. because im sick of him believe it or not. and id like to write an essay not about pete wentz. but then i will probably end up writing the verlaine/rimbaud thing

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abyssmalice · 9 months

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(hmmmmmm having some thonkies :V

nothing bad, just something ive been thinking on for a bit today and also i am Sweepy so its not gonna sound coherent. anyway point is its nothing bad just Sweepy Thonky ft. interactions)

(i have mentioned this absolutely nowhere bc its utterly irrelevant to mention and also havent ever really been in a situation where i had to mention it BUT ANYWAY i identify as quoiromantic

which if you dont know what that is: its a label on the aro spectrum, and has a couple of different definitions tbh, but the most common one is that a person can't tell the difference between platonic and romantic feelings. in general, all definitions of quoiromantic have some aspect of "can't identify romance/romantic feelings/romantic relationships".

for me, the definition of quoiromantic i subscribe to is a person who can't identify romance, in the sense that the Concept of romance is inapplicable or non-understandable

which is a very elaborate way of saying: i don't get it. you ask me to describe what a romance is or what romantic feelings should feel like or what a romantic relationship should look like and i wouldnt know!!!!!!! i have no answers for that bc its like asking me to explain literal rocket science or quantum physics!!!!!!! i have NO understanding of it, its outright 100% incomprehensible, i would even say its illogical to me if a majority of people ive ever seen werent on the aro spectrum and thus can have romantic relationships which Should Mean romance and the process of experiencing it is like, a thing, with steps, and a logic to it. or Something. i dont know.

"ok but what does this have to do with rp" so like i had a passing thought while preparing to snork mimimimi myself into bed and it was along the lines of "ok what if my preferences for character development - not even ships, just pure chara dev - is rooted in how i dont know how romance works at all so i dont really pursue ship interactions from the get-go + want to start at a platonic stage bc From What I Have Read, the best romances have a strong platonic foundation + apparently a romance is..... life changing? character-changing? so a character changing/developing from interacting with someone is........ Potentially able to reach a romantic status? maybe ill figure out the romance that way??????"

or something. i think? idk it was a passing thonky and unfortunately i do not Know and at the end of the day, i do like holding up my muses like little dolls just to go "look!!!!!!!! are they fun??? play with them??" like im overall just here to write my little intricate dolls for pure funsies over any deeper reasoning, but eh. its a thonkie)

#ooc | (written and loved and forgotten);#(tldr me: oh i love romance! *doesnt know what that is*)#(being on the aroace spectrum is so very fun you know /unclear tone bc where do i even describe how loaded that statement is)

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kittyspotatoes · 2 years

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<insert day> Snippet (bc i forgot!!!!) thx for the tag @cwahsont !!

Tagging @illumiera @sanguinettii @mamma-dragon dhwjfj and whoever else wants pls its really fun!! I dont have anything so i'll just drop this thing rotting for days now

Note

Nebarra respects her persistence, but he'll never admit it.

An exhausted groan escapes upon the animal's fall. He could hear the pitter-patter of the storm louder than the wolf's snarling, in fact, it's the only thing he hears with the heavy droplets drumming on his helmet; an expensive piece bearing the glorious and intricate design of the Aldmeri eagle—not so glorious under this weather now. This disadvantage would not yield him any consequences, however, as he steps inside the cave just in time to see the rest of the pack annihilated with a well placed lightning rune. Lifting his feet through mud and leaves, Nebarra sludges with great annoyance to check on the foolish bosmer that hired him.

With a hair that begrudgingly reminds him of Auridon's blossoms, it doesn't take much to spot her; noisy little creature that she is. "This is the fourth cave we've gone back to. Either you're desperate or you don't know where you're going." In which case, he also doesn't know where he's going. His job is to look out for her, carry some things, stay out of trouble; navigation and destination was hers—what in Auri-el's name is she doing anyway? Nebarra can't help but turn his helmet in her direction and wonder what the great and mighty artificer is digging around dirt for. "Hey thunderbug, it's already raining." He flatly delivers in vain, scoffing shortly after when he's left with no response.

"I got it!" A gleeful shout suddenly pipes out of her, simulating the sounds of a whole dish cabinet jogging towards him at the entrance with that bag of wine they stole and all sorts of tinkering tools around her waist. "I got it." She grins, her absurdly big, round, and cumbersome goggles shielding the upper half of her face from the rain. In her grasp is a dirt-stained slightly damp paper; some important notes for another one of her tinkering projects maybe.

"I'm standing here, my under armor soaked, boots muddied beyond recognition, hours away from the comforts of a warm and cozy inn, and I find out it's all for a stupid paper." He's going to kill her, Auri-el forgive him, he's going to wrap his hands around her neck right now—

"It's not stupid." She extends it with casual confidence, the grin fading into a small smile as she lifts the goggles with her free hand to look at him. "You were trying to write it again, right?" She tells him in an understanding tone he's never heard from her before.

Nebarra knows what she meant, what that paper was, its contents—or lack thereof. He was already unfolding it before he can even refuse. And so he stares at it. And stares some more. Seeing what-ifs and images of the past instead of letters and words for…

It doesn't matter.

"Well?" The artificer dusts off her garb, brandishing a proud look from achieving her good deeds for the day.

"Well, you're a lot stupider than you let on." Nebarra crumples the parchment and throws it out on the rain—

—which his companion rushes after like the salvation of mortalkind depended on it. "Nooo, don't throw it away!" She scrambles in search of the item.

He grabs her by the bag and pulls her up. "Enough. We've wasted enough time."

"I would've liked people to know—" She argued. "If there's anyone left that knew me before, I would've liked that they got closure."

She's never pushed this much before, it's both upsetting and surprising for the already annoyed high elf. Once again, she hands out the crumpled thing, shielding it the best she can, and in the period they're traveling together, it never occured to Nebarra how there's actually some fight sparkling in those mint green eyes of hers.

He takes the parchment, and in one exasperated sigh, tears it apart, for good this time. If she's learned anything at all since they met, then she would understand by now, there's no way he's admitting it.

"Not today." He shakes his head, both in triumph and delight over the protests that followed, feeling a little thankful of the noisy rain saving him from her prattling. Nebarra brings a hand atop her head, dragging the goggles down to get her attention. "Want to take a break and hide someplace dry?" And as soon as he finishes, hers was a face of utter shock and disbelief, even under the strange headgear, as if she just heard him speak in an entirely different language. He thinks she's mouthing "What" but who cares—not him, that's for sure—until the initial confoundment turns into a wide mischievous grin spelling trouble for him. Nebarra's already used to this, might as well snatch her bag since he needs something to pass the time—

"Aww Nebs��"

"It's the wine. Shut up weirdo."

Oh she knows he'll never admit it.

#my writing #nebarra skyrim #oc: caelin #but she's not named there shakdbdhe nvm im zzzz #GDI I CANT BELIEVE I'VE DONE THIS SMHHH #what will mr sheep say 😔😔😔#yea yea i'll post it in ao3 when i get on pc.... maybe... oh god...#skyrim

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prettyboykatsuki · 2 years

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Hi handsome. Is there anyway I can ask for some advice? As a fellow bkdk shipper and bakugou lover. So I am trying to write a bakugou x reader, with a bakugou who’s all-knowing reluctant closes friend is Izuku. For storyline purposes (as my all knowing kind eyed friend for reader) and just for the length of time.

This almost seems like a silly ask. But how would you recommend, for me to build the relationship between reader and bakugou… to feel genuine and worthwhile and just as intense as a long time friend Izuku could be? Basically, I’m asking for advice on how to make an audience ship Bakugou with reader as opposed to his best friend who has a somewhat intense relationship with him already built into canon.

i dont find this ask silly at all! i think as an avid x reader and shipfic writer - this is actually a relatively understandable concern. you have to convince your audience that your y/n is also able to metaphorically compete for bkgs heart that canonly has other paths paved

in the situation for bakugou specifically, i think your y/n has to exhibit 2 things. mental strength and any sort of identifiable thing they care about. for bakugou as a character, there is nothing more important to him than respect. your reader, in some way, has to be able to earn his genuine respect. this is NOT limited to physical strength. the nature of bakugous development is that he deeply recognizes strength in all walks of life.

make your reader formidable. maybe they stand up for justice. maybe they’re especially good at handling conflicting and mediating. maybe they’re competent at their job. maybe they’re very good at something trivial like making tea but they dont let bakugou talk down on their hobby. you have a lot of options but i think representing that bakugou values reader insight and respects their viewpoint will lend itself to them being compelling.

additionally, when i say mental strength, i think reader needs to be able to reconcile with bakugou easily. this is one of those bkdk things they dont have which is an ability to communicate clearly lol. this doesn’t mean reader has to have an easy going or even patient temperament - but that reader can say sorry and have just a sliver more of emotional intelligence than bakugou because while i think hes grown a lot, romantic feelings probably turn him into a complete baby.

a reader who is willing to hash things out even at the sake of fighting is very important contrast. while i am a bkdk enthusiast, i think them having a romantic relationship canonly would take a shit ton of effort and therapy. they are deeply intricate but thats a double edged sword. you can play off those gaps.

the most important thing is that you understand bakugou is a character with a natural intensity and presence. this makes him very versatile in the sense he doesn’t discriminate other people at all based on shallow shit. if you want to write a compelling love story with him - any partner can work as long as you keep who he is in mind. anyone who can stand as his equal can be a compelling love interest.

#return to sender #writing advice #i have a lot to say about this still but i wont hold u lol #i think that every character has elements of them that you can play off #for bakugou its about establishing equality #this would be a different answer for someone else #but bakugou is actually very flex in romantic love more than other characters

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noelashe · 1 year

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Beabato I want to know. Or maybe Charlime. Take ur pick

Okay Okay Um THESE ARE BOTH REALLY GOOD i will doa read more There's umineko spoilers WARNIIINGGG!!!!!! UMI SPOIERS (vague)

charlime Is Like THEYRE good. theyre really good they love eachother but i'm not sure if romantic even though they may act kindof um well. homosexually, in hell , when theyre both dying together, but the charlie's body thing makes it even more confusing and blurry x( but i think they are like more than friends and less than "lovers" For sure something like that they're more than friends in the noelashe There's no one that understands lime except charlie and obviously friends um Well they arent that intense about like eachothers souls. And such. Usually. THey do evil together and cover for eachother its honestly OK actually perfect description theyre like partners in hell and haterdemoning. Even despte their troubles they work together and are somewhat equals more than anyone else in hell atleast, aided bt the fact that charlie welcomed lime to hell and was her "Senior" Kindof , lime does seem to be a bit scaredof charlie as well, the only reason she doesnt mess with her and the purebreds i assume, but this fear is also a form of respect that gives them even more a chance....I rambled! Basically! THeyre fucked up as hell and theres no concept of friends lovers or anything to them thats why theyre so incredibly close and it's cute!

Umi time!

OKAY BEABATO. ok GOD ok lesser known kris fact i never Completely finished umi cus i didnt read ch8 but i cannot be spoiled on it i already am i know what happens blurryly. Okay. PERSONALLY i am not that big on it, it's basically canonical and it has so much to it and it's so intricate but personally LOL its not very big on ME. there's so many versions of beabato, it's really interesting though, and i respect beabato simply cus of that and how well written the entire story that baiclly revolves around them is. Its the literal core of umineko so i can't really say i have a very strong opinion about it that beats, I love umineko so i love beabato because i love the story and that's what beabato is. I'm also way more of a beatrice fan and i want her to get what she wants!!! Even though i feel, man , she deserves better than that doofus battler(Joking)!! i almost always cry only due to beatos pov of their relationship so basically well I'm impartial to it mostly except that i am cheering on for beato Cheeringemoji. i wouldve gone into more detail than this but i simply dont feel like it's worth that i think this explanation encompasses like everything unless u have questions for specific stuff

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evilshipping · 2 years

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Hello ship blog and I am here to give fluff asks-

What games would AmiSigKlug play together?

so many

Amisig:

viddygames....pokemon. SO much pokemon. mostly only the older games, but maybe also some pla. emulated with help from maguro, of course.

maybe also a bit of sonic and sega all stars racing?

otherwise i can see amitie initiating games of tag a lot. sig'll pretend to not be interested but'll start sprinting up to amitie and win last second etc

also foot and arm wrestling. mostly foot wrestling, it hurts less and it's way more fun

Amiklug:

i dont know any specific games but i feel that klug would attempt to find ways to make math fun for amitie, at least when they're younger. math books, playing puyo with emphasis on creating big chains and keeping track of the numbers, etc.!

they go onto rekentuin and play the coding thing over and over. theyve gotten all the upgrades together

i think amitie would like portal a little but would make klug play it for him bc his head hurty . too much to play. he hate the compuder

Sigklug:

inscryption. i do not mean the videogame, i mean maguro and klug took the time to make their own cards and klug plays the game with sig. same rules but instead of sacrificing body parts you have to give up candy (this rule was suggested by amitie and lidelle)

other card games as well. amities off being a god or something while sig and klug are holding down the fort, playing go fish

THE THREE:

they have massive worlds in terraria, minecraft and starbound. tons of houses and villages everywhere, i their 1.8 world theyve managed to get so far as to reach the Farlands

i think they all crowd around the pc and play baba is you mods together. theyre all bad at it and dont understand anything. they've completed every single level they've been met with

not a game but i think they would like foraging together. they could easily make a game out of getting the most edible mushrooms, finding the most rare bugs, making the best flower crowns, etc.

also i made a small scenario ages ago where . primp football team. it was cute. i think they would playing football with puyos

maybe also other games w/ puyo but not. too many. we do not want to be too cruel and unusual [said eating a green puyo

another thing that is technically not a game but i think amitie would make sig and klug play gacha club w/ him and make ridiculously intricate storylines to deal with traumas he doesnt even know abt. win

#amisigklug #puyo puyo #canon x canon #some of this is more sibling dynamics than ship tbh but it can still be read as romantic and that is the main point #also several other characters are mentioned but thats bc i like them

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xreaderbooks · 3 years

Text

Two sides (2)

Pair: ACOTAR Azriel x reader

Word Count: 3.6k

Warnings: Language, implied smut

Summary: Y/N has been in love with Cassian for centuries now, Just how Azriel has been with Mor. Both heartbroken by their unrequited love they fall into a routine of 'one-night stands', Not realizing their each others mate.

Masterlist - Part 1

A/N: So I dont know how accurate the mate information is, like I said before I haven’t read the ACOTAR series since 2019 so I probably got a couple things wrong or didn’t write the characters the way you would expect them to act. I chose to make them more how they would be in head canons if you get what I mean. Either way I really hope you enjoyed the 2nd and final part to Two sides :) Feel free to send requests for Azriel or any other Acotar characters. Thank you all for the support <3

"We need to talk."

"Okay," Azriel says skeptically, he walks over to sit on the chair across from you.

"I wanted to apologize for the other night," You shifted in your seat as you spoke, you were noticeably uncomfortable. That bothered Azriel, he wanted you to feel natural not forced, he didn't know where that desire came from but it was true. Even if this conversation was a bit awkward. "I never meant to make you feel used, I guess, I just needed a distraction."

"From seeing Cassian and Nesta together?" He asked. You bit your lip and nodded. "Y/N, I didn't feel used." He let out a small chuckle. "I enjoyed it, actually. And a bit flattered that you chose to-" He coughed awkwardly, "share that part of yourself with me." You grinned. You eased up a bit after knowing that Azriel didn't feel bad about what happened the other night, and even enjoyed it. It also warmed your heart at the fact that this was one of the rare moments that he felt comfortable enough to talk about how he was feeling. Despite it probably being out of sympathy or to defuse the tension.

"Oh," You chirped "well good. The last thing I wanted to do was fuck up our friendship."

He shook his head, "Y/N you've done a lot in the past few centuries that could've fucked up this friendship and we're still okay, better than okay considering. Besides Mor and I are still friends even after..." He tensed up, you went over to him and hesitantly put your hand on top of his.

"I know." You gave him a small smile. "I have an idea, I'll admit it's not my brightest but it will benefit the both of us."

His eyebrow quirked, "Your ideas are never the brightest, that's why you're just my second."

"Okay, wow." You blinked, removing your hand, and started pacing around the room. "First Rhys made me your second because I'm good at my job and you're just better cause of your shadows." He glared at you when you made the comment about his shadows. "Two, I've had a couple of good ideas in the past you just never go through with them."

"Maybe it's because all your ideas are reckless and we'd get caught if we did our job by using your so-called good ideas." He got up to meet you when you turned around to face the other way, you were met by his chest in your way.

You huffed when you looked up at him. "Whatever, I'm pretty sure you were going to like this one." He gave a nod to continue. "I- you know what I think it's better if I just show you."

He cocked his head to the side. You took this as an opportunity to grab him by the back of his neck and slammed your lips onto his. Immediately after he put his hands on your waist, pulling you closer. He started walking backward, leading you towards one of the bedrooms. Your foreheads pressed together but you paused from kissing him, catching your breath. You knew he could hear your heartbeat, beating quicker by the second, his heart was beating faster too. It gave you all the encouragement you needed to start taking off your clothes.

"So this was your bright idea," Azriel asked, while also hurriedly taking off his clothes.

"Mhm." Was your response before nodding and relocating your lips onto his.

The intensity of it made your heart stutter. You wanted him and at that moment he wanted you. He truly wanted you, you both felt it and took that feeling, using it to fuel the passion in that kiss. He moved down to your neck, nipping and biting at it. You moved your hand to slowly graze his wings, which made him freeze. Azriel gave you a look that made your body go on overdrive.

He picked you up, you wrapped your legs around his waist as he continued to "eat your neck" as Cassian had said all those days before. You rolled your eyes at the thought, but then they rolled back as Azriel bit at a sensitive area that intensified that already intoxicating feeling you got when you were with him.

And you wished it never ended.

~~~

"How do you feel about this?" You asked, hoping he'd be okay with it. So far he hadn't opposed.

"I don't want to hurt you." He confessed. You knew he meant physically, he could be a little rough sometimes. You were okay with that though, You rolled your eyes at his comment.

"I'm serious Y/N." He looked you in the eye. You were back at the training grounds of the Illyrian camp. You didn't specify any details, so you both didn't care about speaking in public.

"I'm a big girl, I think I can handle it." You began to walk ahead of him, He grabbed your forearm and pulled you back to face him, a hint of a smile on your face. "Only if you're sure."

Your smile faded once you saw that he was genuinely concerned. "Az, you wouldn't hurt me. I trust you."

He froze and let you go. He had a hard time letting people see how he was feeling but you could tell he was struggling with letting you in and his self-deprecation.

~~~

You had kept your secret "relationship" hidden from everyone else, as much as you could. It didn't take long. They were extremely nosy and it was difficult with Mor being your best friend. She always knew when you were lying and had insisted you were acting differently. You would always blow it off and say you had a good day, telling a random story you just thought of on the spot.

Cassian had continued to tease you about your secret lover-- which only intrigued Mor even further-- you avoided the truth most of the time. You and Azriel would be extra careful when doing what you did. Sometimes even going to Inns and you would both winnow to the location.

Going through all that trouble only for Amren to find out and threaten to tell the others. She tried to blackmail you into buying her a pure diamond bracelet. As if she couldn't afford it yourself. You talked to Azriel about it and you both decided you didn't care if anyone else knew, it's only a matter of time before they found out anyway. Plus you could use the money to buy a house somewhere private in Velaris. You enjoyed the privacy and lack of teasing for as long as it lasted.

Amren didn't tell but as you predicted, everyone did find out. Some already had suspicions like Mor, Rhys, and Feyre. Amren wouldn't have known if she hadn't caught you both and Cassian never would have thought. You'd be lying if you said you weren't disappointed at him not showing any sign of jealousy. You knew he wouldn't be, being caught up with Nesta and all but you still held hope. You considered yourself a fool and would try to fuck the feelings out of you with Azriel. And most of the time it worked.

~~~

Months went by as sleeping with your best friend became your new normal. You never would have thought that you'd be one of those mysterious girls that Azriel hooked up with, ever since that night, you were the only girl. You had to admit, you liked the idea; being Azriel's only girl. But you knew that although you would be the only girl in his bed, Mor will always be on his mind. Not that you blamed him, you were still somewhat hung up on Cassian. After you can't get rid of 500+ years of feelings.

As you laid next to Azriel, who now stayed nights instead of leaving right after, You admired his tattoos, the intricate designs, you fought the urge to trace them. You did anyways but only a centimeter away from his chest so you wouldn't wake him. In the morning light that slipped through a slight gap in your curtains, It shone right on him. He looked ethereal.

You always knew he was attractive most Illyrian men were, at least if they weren't assholes most of the time. You had time now, to actually take in his beauty. You could never understand how someone so beautiful and kind could be so broken. You guessed that's why you chose him to spend your nights with, instead of some random guy. You could help him and heal him and get him to appreciate himself more.

The shadows around him became more active, it made him tense up. He was awake. You lifted your hand up to up to move the stray hair that fell onto his face. At that moment, you felt your world shift an overwhelming sensation of love and adoration consumed your body and you snatched your hand away from him. You were in pure shock.

'Holy fuck' Was the only thing going through your head.

"What's wrong?"He questioned as if he could sense your distress. His voice hoarse from just waking up.

"Nothing." You said, immediately getting up and getting dressed in whatever you had closest to you. "You should, um, You should get going. I have a lot of reports to do, I've been holding them off but Rhys has been asking me for them for the longest so I should get on it."

Azriel sat up, the bed sheet covering one leg and another part. His perfectly sculpted body in your bed, the lighting, half of his leg uncovered by the blanket. You tried to compose yourself to figure out what you would do. Hoping that he didn't pick up on how different you were acting. It was no use he probably already expected something was up.

To try to ease the tension you sat next to him, brushing the hair out of his face, dragging your fingertips down to the side of his face, and kissed his cheek. You ignored the tingles you felt as his face nuzzled into your hand. Hesitantly, you remove your hand and got up from the bed, and sat at the desk you had in your room. You pretended to read through old letters from officials.

Azriel took that as his cue to leave. He got dressed and pressed a kiss to the back of your head before he left.

He definitely knew something, that's not how your mornings usually go. You would at least spend an hour or two together either talking or enjoying each other's presence before sending each other off to your respective duties. However due to your new discovery of Azriel being your mate. You panicked. What would you do now?

~~~

Hours had passed and you hadn't left your room, choosing to focus on the reports that you did in fact, have to do. Rhys just wasn't expecting them for another week or so. Mor then busted into your room. "Knock, knock bitch."

"Uh, hello gorgeous, didn't expect a lovely visit from you today." You said sarcastically, turning your chair to face her. She dropped the shopping bags onto your floor. You lifted a brow in question.

"We're going on a trip!"

"I'm busy." You turned back around to focus on what you were writing.

"It's a fun work one." You twisted your chair around again.

"How do you mean?"

"Day court gala, bonding with people, gaining trust, and all that." She waved it off as if you didn't need to know actual information. You decided you'd ask for details from Rhysand later.

"And you went shopping." You gestured to all of the bags. "like you don't have tons of outfits you could take."

"Well of course I do. These are for you." She grinned.

"W-what?"

"Just because you're supposed to be invisible and all that, doesn't mean you have to be like that all the time." She referred to your job description, being another spy for Rhysand, relying on you being a woman to get information from people Azriel couldn't. Kind of ridiculous considering Azriel's shadows allowed him to get all the information needed but it was an easy enough job. Unlike Az, you didn't have shadows to command so you stuck to your black outfits tunics, and suits that would help you move easily. You never really dressed up, unless it was for an occasion, but you enjoyed doing it when you could. Most of the time you would be on duty or something like it so you couldn't.

This Gala gave you the perfect excuse too. You were thankful to Mor for having bought you these dresses and accessories. You were pretty sure you had worn all the dresses you had in your closet already.

"Yeah, you're right." You gave her a half-smile. Part of you wondered what Azriel's reaction would be to you in one of these revealing dresses. You shook the thought from your head. You would dress for yourself not for some male, even if that male is your mate.

You debated whether to tell Mor or not. She might be able to help you with your internal battle. Part of you was hurt about Cassian not being your mate. Another part always knew that he wasn't, and another part of you wondered how Azriel would react. Did he feel the bond snap into place? Or was it a Feyre-Rhysand situation where the bond would snap into place at another moment? Would he reject you cause you weren't Mor?

You opted to tell Mor at the day court where you would have more space and privacy from the others.

~~~

Helion's words about uniting and bonding were very heartwarming and kind, but you couldn't get past the thoughts that swarmed your mind. You took advantage of this time with everyone listening to Helions welcoming speech and sneakily made your way over to where Mor was standing. You pretended to greet her with a kiss and whispered in her ear to meet you in the room you were staying at.

"Thank the cauldron you came along, Helion was droning on and was about to make me fall asleep." She joked as she sauntered into your room. She paused her amused tone as soon as she saw your face. "You were fine like two minutes ago."

"Glad to know, I'm good at hiding it." You forced a smile. She tilted her head as if to ask you 'what's wrong', so you told her. You told her that Azriel was your mate and how it happened. You told her of your fears of rejection and confusion with your love for Cassian. It was a different love now, you felt it. There was a shift in what you felt towards Cassian and more intense feelings for Azriel. You suspected the bond but you didn't mind it. You then opened up about your insecurity about him rejecting you for her. Which she shut down, though she knew what you meant.

"Mor, Azriel loves you, like I loved Cassian. What if his love for you is stronger and he refuses to let go. We all know the only reason he never went for you is his trouble with his self-worth." Those were harsh words, but they were true. "He could easily reject me for you, knowing you don't love him in that way."

"You don't know that Y/N. And you loved Cassian, probably as much as Azriel loved me. After all this time you spent together, you truly don't think he would have changed the way he feels for me?" She grabbed your hand in hers. "You and Azriel are like two sides of the same coin, he's all dark and brooding and you, well you're the same in some ways. But you bring out the light and you can cast out all of his darkness with a simple smile."

"I don't know." You whispered. You were scared. Your feelings for Azriel already began to grow, without the bond, with it in place now it was strengthened. Your feelings for Cassian was a background noise that would soon grow into a more familial type of love.

"What should I do Mor?" You whimpered, you put your face in your hands. "I feel like a girl with a crush. This is ridiculous."

She laughed and nodded. "Yes, yes it is. On the bright side, if he doesn't know about you being mates, you could still have fun with other people."

You gave her a look. "You forget that he's my designated person to 'have fun' with."

"I didn't know you had a conversation on exclusivity." She shrugged and walked over to the cart that had alcoholic drinks, at the corner of the room.

"Technically we did when we agreed to sleep with each other when we felt like it." You reasoned.

"Hm." She mused, sipping on her drink. "I still say enjoy tonight, dance with a few males, or females, and if you two end up having sex with him again just enjoy the time you have with him."

"Thanks for the talk, Mor."

"Of course darling, by the way, I highly doubt he'll reject you. If he does he's an idiot and I'll kill him." She sent a wink your way and left you in your room to think.

~~~

Azriel watched as you swayed your hips to the beat of the music. A man who he didn't know came up from behind you, keeping up with you. That was the first of many. He felt a twinge of jealousy in his gut. He attempted to force that emotion down. He couldn't understand where that was coming from.

He was keeping watch, even though he always made sure to keep a lookout for danger to his court. Mor and Cassian tried to get him to ease up, he didn't budge. Who would pry Cassian from more liquor when he's had enough to drink if Azriel wasn't sober? He used the excuse of being the only responsible one to keep an eye on her. Y/n, Azriel thought he knew what it was to love someone because of Mor but what Azriel felt for Y/N was different. It felt raw and real and whatever it was, was growing fast. She was easy to talk to, not that he did much of that but she listened, actually listened when he did, and she didn't pry or hover as much as the others. They tend to beat around the bush when wanting to know about what was going on with him. Unlike Y/N who would take her time to make sure he felt comfortable and if, he wasn't, she would change the topic and act normal.

Y/N was a calming presence that allowed him to just be. She brought out another side of him that he thought he could never be.

That's why when he felt a change in the way he saw her dancing with a new guy than the one she was with earlier, it all made sense. She was his mate. He saw red as he practically flew to where they were. The fae males' hands that were roaming your bonds were ripped away from you and he dragged him away. Azriel pinned the man against the wall. People began to stare and talk in hushed whispers, appalled at the sight.

"Never touch my mate, again." He growled. He dug his fingers into the guy's neck.

"I-I didn't know." The man choked out.

"Well, now you do." He muttered, letting the man slump to the ground. He went over to where you were standing, eyes wide. His eyes softened while looking at you. He slowed as he got to you. "Can we talk?"

You nodded your head and began to walk toward an empty hall.

"I'm sorry if I scared you." He kept his voice low but soft. He was afraid, you would want to run away.

"You didn't." You stood there staring at him. You tried to figure him out, to no avail. His face was always stoic. "I- I thought you'd reject me and now I don't know what to do." You confessed.

"You knew?" He tried to recall if you had acted any differently. His shadows had felt the change in your demeanor and set out in whispers when you were rushing him out. He brushed it off, he should've looked more into it. The last thing he wanted to do was to make you feel unwanted or rejected.

"Since yesterday morning." You confirmed. Your anxiety consumed you, you heard of the pain that came along with being rejected by your mate. Some have died from it. Little did you know Azriel was worrying about the same exact thing. Not thinking himself worthy enough of your affection. He allowed himself the pleasure of being in bed with you, assuming it was nothing more and he couldn't get hurt you or be hurt that way. It was a release from another pain you both had the displeasure of feeling.

"I want you to know it is an honor to have you as my mate." He took a step closer.

"Really? Honestly, I thought..." You shook your head. "Nevermind."

He looked confused but let it go, if you wanted to tell him you would. "Guess this means I have to go cook you something." You let out a laugh. He smiled an actual wide beautiful smile. Azriel grabbed your face and kissed you.

It was soon interrupted by a very drunk Mor who shouted, "Finally!"

Cassian was right behind her, "Mor! I forgot where the bathroom was, can y-" He paused looking between you and Azriel. "Oooh getting freaky in the hall, that's new. Hey Y/N if he isn't hitting it right, you know where to find me." He winked at you. Azriel gave him a murderous look, putting his arm in front of you. 'So he's gonna be one of those', you thought.

You couldn't wait till the second part of the mating process.

Tags: @wildchild2707 ,@theworthlessqueen ,@ciciakai ,@rockinginneverland

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red-dyed-sarumane · 3 years

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obviously every vocaloid fan is familiar with songs telling intricate stories often in nonspecific ways theres a lot of great song series out there like this & hiiragi magnetite's is no exception even if its only beginning.

without even looking at story content their sound design is so intense(?) & easy to listen to. & i feel like this is backed up by who else writes an 11 minutes song that, by time alone would make a lot of people reluctant to listen, as their First Song and then have that reach the ranked section of a video site. i feel like thats really amazing in itself.

& then u get to the story content. its just so different from other series at least that ive kept up/interacted with? kagepro, shuuenpro are more supernatural, mikagura, honeyworks are feel good types, whatever nayutans got going on, etc, all of them have a lot going on yeah. & then hiiragi magnetite comes in here with what seems like another of a time loop type series, which is already cool & fun by itself, but then they throw in so much science & physics & the like & from the very first song theres already a lot of emphasis on the importance of not just the present time, but also the past & the future thats being aimed for & everything in between. on top of that u cant get everything just from the lyrics, which yeah typical for vocaloid, theres all the very brief text, all the small details in the still art, the very slight overlay details (ie the rain effect in aru sekai) that just keep adding to the story. even the text being reflected.

aru sekai shoushitsu is like. the first time u listen to it ur like. okay. great. did it really need to be this long. but yeah even the song length is part of the story telling i think. aru sekai brings up the donut shape & repetition ideas a lot, and beyond a few lines there actually not too much lyrical repetition, but the whole song itself is in the restart, try, end, repeat type formula it talks about. there is a part where it sounds like it could end in the middle & then it picks up again & the lyrics about the story are changed. its like a demonstration of the whole "this way to save that world didnt work, let's try this instead" idea thats going on. wish i could understand more than "function" & "toroid" in the weird repeating lines bc i feel like it holds a lot of info but unfortunately still havent figured it out. it does a really good job of setting everything up & how its composed its not even a chore to listen to for the whole 11 minutes.

kyuuyaku hanka gai is similar. its long (6 min) not as long as aru sekai but still long enough that its getting across the need for patience & waiting all while the song is so intense and desperate sounding. aru sekai held a very scientific/logical approach to things, but whether its past beliefs (since it its the song explaining the "past") or desperation kyuuyaku introduces some religious type thinkings both in the non lyric text & lyrics while still having the logical/science approach as well. the song itself isnt panic inducing but the composition definitely expresses the hopelessness & desperation, especially with the bell in the second half i think, but also the "good bye see you tomorrow" corrupting into the next lines & then the long high notes almost like a crying type of screaming. & then at the end of all of it theres the melody of the aru sekai line about being reborn to really drive home it didn't work before but it'll happen again and they need to keep trying

shuuen touhikou too. its the shortest so far (and i do find it funny so far every song has been like half the time of the previous) but again. the worlds being destroyed again. waiting for help in the "past" didnt work. all they can do is flee as fast as possible. theyre running the whole song (maybe not physically running the whole thing bc like ive said before how many quintillion ri is not a reasonable distance for a human person by any means). so it makes sense for it to be a shorter song. they know whats coming and they dont want it so they'll avoid it with everything theyve got (mood) theyve tried fighting, but fighting didnt work so theyve sheathed their swords, will use them if they need to, but mainly just trying to find away to get to a safe world. theres lines from both other songs in the bg text which isnt just a "theyre connected" thing but reasoning into whats going on. & in terms of composition theres the beginning like everythings, fallen, clattered down, & then the song picks up with that "lets flee" energy. that said, fleeing ≠ giving up by any means, more like buying time i think

theres just so much going on & so much info it feels like the more u know the less u understand but its so intriguing u have to keep trying to understand.

just. these two worlds whos fate are tied together trying to save what they cant & it just keeps repeating but including all the technical, theoretical, philosophical ideas that make it work. i just think its so interesting

#akire being dumb #vocaloid #hiiragi magnetite #long post #hiimagu goto #i love this series a normal amount (lie)#its pretty much confirmed therell be songs for every subsection of aru sekai so im SUPER excited to see where its going from here #also hiimagu yesterday like 'i cant believe everyones liking this it feels like a dream' im so happy for them

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coepiteamare · 3 years

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about me? tag games

tagged by the lovely @yeojaa! thank you for the tag!

tagging: @bratkook (because you’re gorgeous but also hi! i want to talk to you more but i’m so easily intimidated 🥺) idk anyone else who doesn’t mind their face being shown, but if you want to, consider yourself tagged by me 💕🥰

post your favourite/most recent photo of yourself

i do not like my face unless it doesn’t look like my face? but i’m trying to be better about accepting it/taking pictures because it’s the one face i’m going to get. and lovely noor always hypes me up 🥰 this is my most recent one...from one year ago! all of my photos are from aerial performances lol which is why the outfit is very sparkly. (...i don’t know why my lips are always pursed someone help me)

the first thing that came to mind was my tenacity and stubbornness. it’s a double edged sword, especially when i get unnecessarily competitive with the stupidest things (there have been many times when i would argue with my therapist for the stupidest things for the sake of “winning.” jesse, i’m so sorry), but it’s funny at times.

i dont know if this a personality trait, but my willingness to learn? i like to be openminded because there is so much out there that i do not know. and there’s so much that i had (and still have!) to unlearn and re-learn and learn to be a better human being. and a lot of that isn’t possible without being willing to learn and open-minded!

favourite body part of yours

my ankles? i have a friend who really likes my ankles. (they’re weirdly tiny? i have small hands, but if i wrap my hand around it, i can almost touch my thumb and middle finger. they’re also super weak though so i lose my balance quite often and have stretched my ligament a few times). or my eyes i guess. to be honest, i really don’t like my body but i’ve been trying to practice body neutrality more, trying to understand that this is the body i’ve been given and while i may not love it, it does what it needs to do and i’m very fortunate and privileged to be able bodied on the surface and mostly able bodied in general!

favourite aesthetic/style on yourself

ohhh a tough one. i really like oversized sweaters and shirts with short shorts so that it looks like i’m not wearing anything underneath? one of my friends likes to associate that look with me. i also love sundresses, the ones that float and settle gently when you spin.

what are you most proud of?

my friends! my friends are a great source of my pride and joy and i’m very proud and grateful to be able to have them in my life, that they have seen me through my ups and downs, that they’re willing to call me out on my bullshit and still sit with me when i’m low, and that they love me. i’ve made quite a few reckless decisions, but the friends i keep and made, they’re some of the best ones i’ve made in my life. but...if we’re going for a more direct answer, how much care and affection i give to my friends! sometimes i’m not a great friend because i’m unable to work past my depression and si and thoughts, but i think for the most part and when it counts the most, i try my best to be present with my friends and check in with them, sending them messages, and doing everything in my power to let them know they’re loved and appreciated! i wouldn’t be where i am today without my friends.

a trait people say they like about you

i’m cackling. i actually had to ask my groupchat this: they said they like how excited i am about things/when i care about someone/something i care A LOT about them and i’m invested 200%. “you call it being a nerd abt things you like including marvel, queens gambit, etc. I think you carry it into how you love & care for ppl too. i feel that way when you tell me that you’ll read my papers even tho they’re long & annoying or when you bring me food bc you remember I had been craving it or when your randomly text me things out of nowhere & just check in on me to see how I’m doing” “i like how excited u get abt things. it’s nice knowing u want me to be a part of ur world.”

a personality/physical trait that you used to be ashamed of but now appreciate

oh dear. for physical, my eyes? they’re monolidded and they don’t fit western/korean beauty standards, so as a kid, they were one of my biggest insecurities. but now, i’ve kind of come to peace with them? it makes makeup harder because there’s things that i can’t do (not that i have the talent to pull off intricate eyeshadow looks anyways) but we work with what we’re given.

personality wise...i’m not really sure because i think i’ve grown and changed a lot, but a lot of things have stayed the same and i don’t really think i was embarrassed about my personality? there are lots that i don’t like that i’ve come to accept, however. i’m work very much in extremes: i’m a leaky faucet or breaking dam. i’m all or nothing. i feel too much or too little. i used to hate it, but now, it’s just whatever. i’m very ambivalent about it.

favourite colour on you?

blue! i really like wearing blue and black and white? i think blue is just very versatile and i associate a lot of my personality to it. black and white is...well black and white haha. i feel like they look good with anything but i don’t own a lot of them, for some reason. maybe when things get better, i’d like to thrift some more black and white pieces.

favourite clothing on you

MY DOCS! even though they’re high key a bitch and i bought them because the girls i worked with encouraged my desire to buy them (2/3 of my female coworkers at levis wore docs with their jeans and i felt like it was validating me to finally make the purchase after 3 years.) they go with almost everything and they make me feel like i can stomp all over my insecurities! i like jeans (probably from my short stint at levi’s), especially the high waisted ones. my favourites are the painter boys (loose, lots of pockets, wide legged) and the wedgie (that name is ridiculous, no matter how many times i see/say it). i love my ripped wedgie jeans with my docs. as for tops, i love cardigans but do not own any.

an aesthetic you want to try but are too scared to

CROP TOPS!!! crop tops and skin tight clothing? because of my body shape, i know they look good on me but i just am not comfortable in them? i would also love to try thigh high boots at one point in my life. also, the all black, professional aesthetic? idk what it’s called, but the blazers and black turtlenecks and slacks? would love to try, but that section intimidates me

things you like getting compliments on the most

i’m awful at receiving compliments unless they’re sarcastic ones hehe. but i like getting compliments on my writing? or on the things that i do that make other people happy and loved? i like receiving compliments on the things that i do for other people! (not that i do them to receive compliments though!)

lastly, do you love yourself?

ahahahaha 🙃

#tag games #tag games with violet #violet thoughts on the horizon

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lemonietrinket · 4 years

Text

Fragile Like Chandeliers ||| YoungK x Reader

Summary: You meet a truly intriguing man inside an expensive lounge on the job Genre: Small bits of fluff but its weak bc its more sensual, some angst, uhhh??? idk noir, gang Warning(s): very very vague references to injury/death Word Count: 2763 Song(s): Ambience AN: hey anon! sorry this took a little while :(( i also have... no idea if this was what you wanted. and its... also longer than my word limit that i put on my request notice. uh. oops. i tried to put some italian in there (for fake names of things) but i am not fluent and though i researched grammar, there are obviously many nuances to the language that i dont know so i apologise if they sound bad (feel free to correct me!)

fem!reader

~~~

Smooth jazz filtered through the swathes of people, bunched in small bouquets of dazzling jewels and shining gold. The low quartz-tinged lights kept the shadows in the corners, gently swaying to the beat as swept past, silver trays empty.

You were perched quietly at the sidelines, crimson velvet plush beneath your draping onyx dress. Eyes flickering across the chandelier above, you couldn’t help but smile at the memories that arose. The Eiffel Tower had been so beautiful in that moment, reflected in a thousand crystals suspended in mid-collapse before they shattered into their oblivions. Your fingertips traced across the emerald gem between your collarbones, settled comfortably between intricately carved swans. With their heads bowed and wings splayed they reminded you of home, a place you hadn’t set foot in for a long time. The aching rarely reared its head, but this evening it teased at your heartstrings in a way you would never admit to any other.

Well, perhaps maybe one.

As your attentions were briefly piqued at the sight of a man with a bellowing laugh, who strode past you with his arms wide and decorated with cufflinks made of silver knots, you had moved your feet to stand. However, that was when your keen eyes glanced back across the room, only to meet another pair.

They were the eyes of a fox, ablaze with wit and narrowed in curiosity, and they stared you down and enraptured you in seconds. You found yourself glued to your spot and not giving a single damn about it, as the man bid his colleague a farewell and began to make his way towards you.

With a face that only a dream could make, the smile he gave a passerby who greeted him oozed confidence; the single nod of his head that followed knocking his effortlessly curled fringe ever-so-slightly into his eyes. It led him to run his hand through the tousled locks when he faced you again, and had you not been on the job you would have no doubt swooned.

The man was clearly something special—his suit crafted of ambrosia, a clean cut jet besides pristine white, paired with dress shoes that shone as he reached where you were sat.

You peered up at him silently, waiting to hear the voice that fell from those plush lips.

“Good evening,” he greeted.

And boy was it luscious.

You responded in kind, consciously making your eyes bigger as he extended a palm gently towards you. “Might I take you for a dance?”

After a few seconds pretending to mull it over, you let your hand slip into his. He helped you to your feet all while you were too focused on the rough pads of his fingers stroking the back of your palms.

He led the pair of you to the small area sectioned off for dancing near the live band. Passing a few other couples already swinging with the saxophone’s melody, you were captivated by how he effortlessly weaved the two of you to the centre.

All he’d said had been ‘excuse me’ and ‘sorry’ but somehow it had eased anyone in the vicinity and made them move away with no less than a grin and ushered laughter.

He was remarkable. And if it turned out he wasn’t what you were looking for, you would be stunned.

Coming to a stop, he stood broadly before you. With a hand caressing down to your waist before settling there as if it had always meant to be, you entwined your fingers with his other as you felt across his shoulder blade. His sensuality was thrilling, the closeness of your chest to his sending your heartbeat into irregular motion, and you had to admit he was talented.

“So,” he began, voice low and smooth like the late evening wine sipped in candlelight, “what must I call this gorgeous beauty before me?”

Lip unconsciously teasing between your teeth, you simpered. “You first.”

A smirk formed on his lips. “Younghyun.”

“Y/N.”

“Ah, a perfect name for a perfect lady.” He took the lead and you let him, following his slow sways with small steps of your own. “And a perfect voice too—there’s an accent there, if I’m not mistaken?”

“There may be,” you replied coyly, “Italian, born and raised.”

His smile brightened, “I’ve always wanted to visit Italy. The views, the food, the music...” he stopped himself with what could only be described as a sheepish laugh, “sorry, I’m probably preaching to the choir here.”

“It’s fine! I miss all of that quite often nowadays.”

Your grip tightened while your heart lurched. Attempting to keep yourself under control, you hid your disdain behind a smile. How had you let yourself slip up like that? Since when did you wear your feelings on your cheek for a man you only just met?

As the song changed and the tempo quickened, Younghyun twirled you round by your fingers. “So what brings you all this way here, to one of the most exclusive bars in Seoul?”

“Why, do I not look like I fit in?” you enquired.

As he pulled you back to his chest, he stayed quiet for a few moments, his eyes carefully taking in the curve of your cheeks. “I’ll be absolutely honest with you,” he glanced around the room before coming back to look you in the eye, “you’re too good to fit in here.”

“I am?” You were hanging off his words, and despite your rational brain reminding you that he was just smooth talking, the way small butterflies began to send ripples through your chest had you very nearly believing him. It was as if that emerald upon your neck carried no weight at all.

“Of course.” His response was quick, sincere, and slowly the heaviness returned. You could feel it swaying a beat behind your movements together.

“I’m here to get away,” you finally explained, eyes lowering from his and focusing on his bow tie. It was spotless, folded crisply at his collar, and for a split second you wondered if it too pressed at his neck. “I’m a writer but... life can be so restricting, you know? How can I write about lives when I haven’t lived myself?”

The words slipped easily off your tongue, and you felt the tension leave your shoulders. Meanwhile, when you gazed up again, you found his smile tinged with sadness.

“I understand that. Sometimes what you end up in isn’t what you want,” he said.

Confidence filling your veins, you slipped your fingers from his and ran your hands to interlock behind his neck. “I’m so glad you get me,” you whispered in his ear, “no one really does.” Closing the distance, you rested your head against his chest, face turned away from his knowing eyes that seemed to cut into you.

It was only a matter of seconds before Younghyun’s hands both swept to the small of your back, cradling you gently. You pondered upon how he looked at you right then, as your eyes watched the couple beside you. They were in the same position as the two of you, swaying with the dwindling music. When they caught a beam of light as they turned, you saw how old they were, time etching at the corners of their eyes, giving them permanent eye-smiles. The man in question was truly beaming however, at the woman in his arms. He had a knowing glint in his eye, something you simultaneously wished you knew and were happy to not know the context to—without it, after all, they stayed painted in silver. The woman, much shorter and spindly in her old frock��you imagined it was the one she wore at the last wedding she attended—seemed so content, her lips mouthing the words to an unknown song, her feet moving in synchrony with his.

Her eyes were closed, you noted, and once you had done there was no going back. You turned your head the other way, your own gaze remaining wide open.

“Enough about me, what job do you do?” you asked, loud enough to be heard without moving, but it was pointless, as his answer came back as a teasing retort.

“What do you think I do?”

You shifted your head to come face to face with him again. You were so close to his lips it would only take seconds to bridge the gap, and the apprehension hurt. “I don’t know. Something dashing.”

“Oh really? How come?” His smirk had returned, mischief glimmering in his eye much like the chandelier lights did, urging you to say out loud what you only intended to infer.

Cocky bastard, you thought, smile growing as you spoke. “Because someone as handsome as you could only do something dashing. Otherwise it wouldn’t be fair.”

As the saxophone picked up behind him, you moved your head to settle upon his shoulder, snickering as he whispered into your ear.

“There it is...!”

You playfully tugged at the hair at his nape to chide him. “Come on, tell me, what’s your job?”

He seemed momentarily distracted, before brushing off your words with a laugh. “Trust me, it’s not as interesting as you think.”

“How could it not be interesting?” you countered, leaning in closer to his neck so that your breath would flutter across his skin there, “you wouldn’t do it otherwise.”

“You can’t be sure of that,” he retorted, swinging you round and pulling you back so your shoulders met his chest, “you’ve only just met me.”

“And sometimes a chance meeting is all it takes,” you uttered, running your fingertips down the backs of his hands at your waist. With your head turned towards him, but your eyes remaining apart, you swayed your hips with his as you continued, “I’ve seen many faces, Younghyun, I think I know people well now. And you have the face of someone who knows so much and yet hasn’t said a word.”

You got no words in direct answer to the ramble of ones you had procured. Instead he spun you back around so that he could take another good look at you, and he drank in your beauty as if he were a dying man. His lips parted to speak hours before he finally did. “How much more do you know about me?” he eased through a coy smile.

“I don’t know,” you hummed, tracing the line of his tie with the back of your finger, “why don’t we find out?”

Your boldness earnt a single laugh, your dance partner silent before he adjusted his grip at your waist. One hand shifted up your back and held you close in an embrace, before he gently lowered you back. You held onto his shoulder as well as his gaze, as he followed you into the dip. With lips millimetres away from yours, you had been certain he would close the gap, and press a kiss where he’d been hinting for the entire night. His eyes fluttered down to the sight of your painted lips, then back up to your curious stare. “Shall we get drinks?”

You beamed. “Sure.”

Lifting you back to your feet, his hand never left the small of your back as he guided you towards the bar, back across the lounge. You stuck close to his side to avoid the clusters of crowds as the grew and punctured the sensual melodies of the band. Tucked by his shoulder, a sense of peace washed over you. When there was a sudden crash of spilled drinks to your right you didn’t even take a glimpse of it in, and instead kept your head low and inclined towards your partner of the night.

You reached the bar in no time, and the only time he left your side was to minutely slip ahead, to pull a bar stool out for you to sit upon.

Sending him a teasing eye roll you giggled at his silent gasp of exaggerated disdain, before he sat beside you. With his body facing you, he leant on an elbow until the bartender came over.

“Sir, madam,” she greeted with a polite smile, “what can I get for you?”

“Bokbunja for me please, and for the lady,” he addressed you with a smile, “drinks on me, what would you like?”

“No, it’s ok, I wouldn’t want to cost you—”

“Oh, Y/N, you could cost me the world and I wouldn’t care,” Younghyun interrupted,

You considered continuing with the humble act, but truth be told you didn’t have the patience for it, and you were pretty sure it wasn’t necessary. If that wasn’t an expression of a hooked man, then you no longer knew what was.

You scoured the towers of intricate bottles behind the bartender, hued amber through to olive and deep magenta. They were oddly beautiful, catching the light not unlike a thousand crystalline shards, muted by their labels written in calligraphic ink.

Making eye contact with the bartender, the corner of your lips easing into a tiny smile while you ordered, “Well, if you’re so sure. Segreto Classico, please.”

The woman’s stare widened, her smile becoming rigid as she glanced at the man at your side. You followed her stare a few moments later, once she’d stepped away with a nod of her head to make the drinks. You languidly drew your eyes up and across Younghyun’s figure. It was as if he was made for tuxedos, his clean cut jacket lining his chest perfectly and accentuating his shoulders. Now that he wasn’t touching you, your hazy thoughts began to playfully contemplate if he was real at all.

You found him frowning at his phone quizzically. “Everything ok?” you asked, leaning upon the counter to try and get a better look at his face.

He did a double take to the bartender and then finally to you, a dispassionate grin covering his lips. “Oh, yeah it’s all good, I’ve just... got to take this call, if that’s alright?”

“Oh, no problem, I’ll be right here waiting for you,” you settled your chin upon your hand at that moment, though he didn’t appear to catch your sultry display as he smiled blankly, before raising his phone to his ear and walking towards the balcony.

You watched him leave, the energy of the room dipping as he melded with the crowds.

You were brought out from your vacant stare and spiralling thoughts by a a sudden clink to your side. Snapping your head over, you found your drink placed by your elbow, the lace design in the glass shimmering in the dim lights. The bartender meanwhile glared at you while she poured the second drink.

“You shouldn’t order that so blatantly,” she scolded, “you know full well that the drink isn’t on the—”

“And you think a member of la Giarda would drink anything else?” you interjected bluntly, taking your glass into your hands and swirling the ice amidst the clear liquid. The mint scent wafted around you and slowly cleared your mind, leading you to recount in your head what had occurred mere moments prior as if weeks had passed.

The bartender shushed you urgently, but her tension didn’t travel across the counter.

“Relax,” you urged with a snicker and knowing look, “no one knows the name here. He hasn’t got a clue. I’ll gather the information without a hitch don’t you worry.”

The woman places the second glass, taller and more simple than yours, in front of the empty bar stool. “You better not blow my cover,” she mumbled sulkily.

“You know I won’t,” you iterated, taking a sip and letting the electrifying taste sink in as you watched where he had disappeared off to.

“Because we’re only going to get one shot at this, so he better be—”

“He’s the right guy,” you snapped.

And just as your glare dwindled, the crowds parted to reveal Younghyun, phone tucked back in his pocket and expression back to life. You caught his eye once again, and in an echo of the first time, you were captivated once again. This time however, in a different way.

As he approached, you felt a jab to your heart, like twisting glass. The newfound clarity had left you open and vulnerable, and here he offered the blow without knowing.

When the chandelier cast dappled lights fraught with shadows and curtailed amber across his handsome face, all you could see was the suspended chandelier shattering to the ground. The shards finally experiencing their fate as time caught up with them.

You didn’t want him to end like that too.

~~~

AN: i took a fair bit of inspiration from noir films, so i apologise if you don’t wear dresses/heels

Masterlist

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nightmaretyrantvantas · 5 years

Text

To get back what you’ve lost, even if its by force/Lets bring hell to their damn doorstep boys.

a little dark side au story not directly being a sequel to my other angst story for this au~

This is Roceit with some hints at previous Demus and Princexiety and some soft hints at platonic Loceit, and it also includes a few of my own headcanoned dark sides( that im going to try to make more content for!)

Things had been...ok for the light sides once Deciet got full settled into his new role. ‘ Self preservation’ Logan had referred to him with a calm understanding and a welcoming title. And though some things hurt for Deceit to leave behind, he began to embrace this new style of living slowly but surely with the others, especially one certain musical prince whose smile made him admittedly swoon.

Yes Deceit would admit to himself that Roman Sanders had captured his affections, though sometimes he almost couldnt let himself believe it. Just as he almost couldnt believe the new golden and purple room he woke up in each day or the new clothes Patton and Roman had excitedly provided him.

“ It’ll look great on you Dee! I designed them myself!”

“ Its definitely a very stylin new look kiddo! And besides, you deserve some welcoming presents!” He had offered a small smile and taken the clothes with a nod, slipping back into his new room to continue settling it and redecorating it to his preference.

Though during the next video he hesitantly appeared, relaxing when he was greeted warmly by everyone. Roman had excitedly showed off his new updated outfit and Deceit took a deep breath.

“ I well...I also had a small idea to ‘change things up’ but, you guys wouldnt like it...” His tongue flickered out briefly.

“ Aw cmon Dee dont say that! You know no matter what it is we’ll like it!”

“ But, if it makes you more comfortable, we will not push you to share.” He looked at Thomas who smiled encouragingly and let down another wall, revealing the outfit he’d put together to officially start his new life here.

After that they had gotten closer, much closer as time went on. Deceit could almost, almost forget what and who he had left in the shadowy halls he once called home. But not completely, never completely...

He jumped when Roman placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, making him look up into loving crimson eyes. The taller side leaned down and kisses his scaled cheek as he invited Deceit to join him and the others into the living room for a movie marathon, and as their hands interlocked he couldnt have been happier...

“ aaaaaaaaaargh!!!!”

Elsewhere there was a thud and a clatter as a glass shattered against the dark wall. The one whose head it broke mere inches from didnt flinch, even as one of the shards left a bloody cut in his cheek, bright pink eyes bored.

“ Virgil if you keep breaking silverware we wont have any left.” He spoke in a annoyed, uncaring voice as he wiped the blood from his skin. Virgil snarled at him in response, his eyes glowing purple and green and glowing strings tightly scattered all over the room like an intricate spiderweb. They all pulsed with a livid light, and illuminated the living room in a eerie purple cast. The others in the room had decidedly kept quiet for the time being, none of them willing to approach their furious leader having a meltdown. Though one scoffed and rolled his bright orange eyes sneering.

“ Could you throw any worse of a fucking tantrum Virgy?” Angry eyes narrowed in on him so fast with a disturbing head snap that he stiffened, feeling more strings lace around him.

“ What. did. you. say. Wrath.” The words were low and hissed, balancing into demonic sounding and he smartly shut up, backing down with a muttered “ Nothing Anxiety....Nothing at all....” Virgil growled and went back to his seethed pacing, his hood making it so only his glowing eyes were visible above his mouth. Neither Wrath nor Arrogance dared move closer, watching him pace in the middle of his web. Remus was nowhere in sight, having locked himself in his room for the past few weeks now to brood. Arrogance sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose irritated. Remus and him had been moody and snappish ever since Deceit had chosen the light sides, chosen Roman and the others over them weeks ago. And Arrogance, Aaron for short, was getting rather pissy himself about needing to walking on fucking eggshells every time he left his room. Wrath was getting angry too, no surprise there, but this was utter bullshit to him. And to Wrath, there was a simple solution.

At least he considered it simple as his gaze drifted to the dolls tangled in the air in strings. His eyes snagged on the light blue coded Patton doll before he looked towards the other ones, like Logan’s and Roman’s trapped toys. Now however there was another in the center of his lines, a peculiar doll with a carefully, intricately designed scaled side of his face and a small velvet cape wrapped in purple.

Finally he couldnt take it anymore and stood up from his seat, ignoring the way he himself began to get tangled.

“ Oh for fucks sake Virgil youre getting on my nerves with this! If youre so pissy that he’s over there then just fucking bring him back already and quit your damn hissy fit!” There was silence as the two stared each other down.

“ Just...take him back huh?”

All eyes turned towards the doorway where Remus stood, twitchy and eyes glowing. Admittedly it made Jacob nervous, Remus sounded calm and collected...something that didnt bode well with his twitching demeanor and intense stare.

“ Can we just do that...bring Dee back home?” Virgil looked down and began pacing again, though his posture was no longer hunched and aggressive. Instead now it was straight backed and more composed. He let out a hum and they all watched him quietly as he went around, his hand reaching out and grasping the Roman doll and holding it in his grip, in an almost caring and tender way. Memories fluttered across his mind and disappeared once more, filled with visions of the new couple’s happiness...

Take him back...

“ Yes...why didnt I think of that sooner? Oh Wrath...no, Des youre brilliant when youre not mindlessly aggravated...” A twisted smile curled upon Anxiety’s lips as he gazed at the doll then looked at Deceit’s, reaching his other hand out to graze his fingers along the yellow coded doll’s cheek.

“ I know exactly what will tempt them onward...and then I will bring him back...no, we’ll bring him back.” He looked over his shoulder at Remus, locking eyes with him as a wide crazed grin grew on Remus’s face, his pupils seeming to dilate dangerously. “ Wont we Remus?”

“ Oh fuck yes I cant wait!!!” He tightened his grip on the doll in his hand and looked down at it with a betrayed, angry sneer.

“ Lets bring some chaos and hell to their little doors shall we boys?”

Deceit shuddered as he got a sudden chill, making him glance around his room as he sat up. Something felt wrong to him, something he couldnt place. But nothing was wrong. The dark sides had been quiet for a few weeks now, and Thomas had only had small controlled bouts of anxiety that was easy to soothe and he had been happy and even a little more carefree than normal. Things were fine between himself and the other sides, great even when it came to his relationship with Roman. Roman...

Deceit couldn’t help the soft, dopey smile that crossed his face at the thought of the creative side. He had been nothing but kinda and affectionate since they began dating, and every day he saw him was another day Deceit felt he was on cloud 9. But he shook his head and refocused on the problem at hand, pulling on his beanie and jacket as he stepped out of his room. Nothing seemed off or even out of place.

“ Maybe...I’m just imaging things...” He shook his head again and pulled his jacket closer to him to warm up. He decided to head for the living room, that maybe being around the others would get rid of this feeling. So he made his way, furrowing his brows at how...dim the lights seemed now. Had he been in his room longer than he thought? ‘ No...no I couldnt have been...Patton would have called me down for dinner and he hasnt yet...’ His pace quickened as he spotted the stairs and the light glowing from the bottom of them. Deceit’s body relaxed a little at the warm glow and a smile reappeared on his face.

And it quickly dropped into a worried frown as he went down the stairs and found himself back at the end of the hallway.

He stopped and looked around confused, his surroundings not clicking in his mind. He should’ve been in the living room now. But he gazed at the hallway dotted with their bedroom doors and the stairs at the very end, warm cheerful glow still coming from the bottom. So he simply walked the hallway and hurried down the stairs again...

...only to end up back at the start of the hallway, again.

“ What the hell...” He looked around again, this time with a pit of dread forming in his stomach. Something wasnt right.

Why couldnt he leave the damn hallway?

He tried taking a deep breath to collect his thoughts, a tip Logan had given him in the case he ever got too upset to focus. Once he was calmer he walked slower towards the stairs. Not many sides could do something like this, and it definitely wouldnt be some kind of pranks the others would pull on him...

“ Remus I swear to god if youre doing this please cut it out!” He called into the hallway, eyes searching for any hints of the wild side. Deceit knew he loved edgier pranks, and scaring him with a prank of a ever repeating hallway in isolation felt just up his alley of thinking. He couldnt help but let out an exasperated sigh, anger fading. He couldnt stay that mad at the Remus if he was pulling a cruel prank. Honestly any reestablished contact with the other wouldve been...nice.

Deceit missed his friend, and maybe this would be his chance to heal the wounds he mightve caused by leaving and rekindle the friendship. He chuckled to himself as he stopped at the stairs.

“ Jeez....I guess Pat’s soft side is rubbing off on my more than I thought...” With that he headed down the stairs and shook his head at the beginning of the hallway.

“ Cmon Rem! I know youre probably pissy at me...and you know what? I dont blame you.” He started walking again, looking around him with a pleading look. “ But please, just come out and lets try talking again ok? Like we used to? We can spread out in my room and hell, I’ll even give you the bed spot you always fight for. Just...lets cut out the game now ok?” He got nothing but silence as an answer, and he paused.

Silence was something that was not Remus’s style, prank or not. And now his guard was up faster than a gunshot.

“....Remus? Are you there?” He looked around again, getting more and more uneasy at the silence and started walking again.

“ Arrogance if this is your idea of a joke it isnt funny! Cut your shit.” No response and once again he was back where he started. Now he was getting angry, and even a little afraid.

It wasnt Remus, because Remus couldnt handle this kind of silence for this long even for a joke, especially when he was called out.

Arrogance wasnt one to pass up taunting his inability to escape, and on top of that he wasnt really one for pranks either. When Remus called him a stick in the mud...he wasnt exactly wrong.

And Wrath didn’t have the patience for this kind of thing.

His walk this time was slower and more cautious, this time when he glanced around his eyes darted to dark corners too. The pit in his stomach grew and worsened as he made it to the stairs again and looked down them. He could even see the damn landing, washed in light. He hurried down again and almost yelled in frustration as he ended up at the beginning again. It took everything in him not to freak out.

“ Patton!?” No answer.

“ Logan??! Can you hear me??” No response.

“ R-roman!!!!” Nothing.

No he was starting to panic, but he forced himself not to let it consume him. That feeling felt too familiar and he ran down the hallway.

“ Virgil if this is you’re doing stop it!! This isnt funny!!” Still no response and he repeated the loop a few more times. He opeed his bedroom door and saw it was just as he left it, but simply staying in there now almost felt...bad, like he’d been cornering himself. And trying the others doors did nothing, because either they were uncommonly locked or simply wouldnt budge. His breath hitched and hissed through his teeth faster as he run down again, this time tripping and hitting the carpeted floor with a dull thud.

“ owwwowowowowwww....” He pushed himself onto his knees, eyes squinting in pain and a little dazed. For a moment he thought he saw a tall figure blocking the stair’s light and he shot up to his feet, groaning in absolute frustration when no one was there. He took a few steps and stopped, looking down at the floor when his foot stepped on something. One the floor was Roman’s crimson sash, and with gentle hands he picked it up and held it tenderly. The soft scent that drifted off it relaxed him, and made him smile as he looked down at it, rubbing the fabric between his fingers. Looking at it he finally took another deep breath and tried thinking more clearly, his eyes shutting briefly.

But because his eyes were shut he didnt notice purple glowing strings drip from the corners and behind him, silently creeping closer and surrounding him. When he finally opened his eyes and noticed the glow his eyes went wide in fear and the sound of footsteps on the stairs made him whip around. Though he only had time to partially shout as strings wrapped around him firmly and entangled him to the point he could barely fight back, strings around his through silencing his voice. He looked up at the hooded figure gripping and manipulating the strings like a puppet player, a cruel evil smirk on his face as his eyes glowed.

“Well well now Deceit. You really shouldve know better...” The world began to darken and he felt Roman’s sash slip out of his fingers vaguely noticing his beanie fall off his head when he was moved closer to Virgil. Virgil’s eyes narrowed and his smirk widened as Deceit’s eyes began to fell shut, nothing but purple in his fading vision.

“ You really shouldn’t have tried to leave.”

There was nothing but silence upstairs as Patton, dusting off his polo in a small huff from dealing with Arrogance and Remus making a chaotic mess in the living room before leaving as suddenly as they appeared, walked to the stairs landing and looked up to the dark hallway.

“ Dee! Kiddo dinner is ready! Come on down we dont want to start without you!” His head tilted and his brows furrowed in concern when he got no answer, his voice drifting and echoing around the hallway.

“ Kiddo? Can you hear me up there? You ok?” He put his foot on the first step as his voice echoed again.

“ Deceit?”

And echoed right over the old red silk sash and dark grey beanie that lay in the middle of the carpet, not a person nor side in sight.

Tadaa! Thats the end(for now) I hope you guys like it!!

Taglist

@phantommoonpeople @sweetsweetemo @leesacrakon @amazable01

@sugarglider9603 im tagging you in this so you could maybe ready it! I hope you like it and the angst!

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