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fatuismooches · 1 year

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How do the Harbingers spend Christmas/the holidays with their lover? What do they do with the reader?

Imagine spending Christmas with the Harbingers, set in a modern world. [I also listened to Last Christmas while writing this. Maybe that will enhance your reading.]

Pierro never had time for Christmas before. The holidays always flew by for him, since he was always so busy working. Or more like, he continued to work as there was no reason for him not to. He had no one to spend time with, so why should he take a break? That was until you slid into his life and forcibly stopped him from doing that ever again, literally scolding him for even thinking about not being home for the holidays. Though, he doesn’t really know what to do. I mean, he’s aware of what people do during these times, but do you want to do all of that? How do you celebrate? What you came to realize was that he doesn’t like to do much during the holidays. All he really wants to do is spend time with you. And so, he is content with pretty much anything you choose to do.

Really, Pierro has come to enjoy and appreciate even the very simple things that occur between the two of you, that may seem boring to others. Reading out the complicated instructions on a package or recipe, even stealing his coat in public (which he always tries to hide from the eyes of others due to embarrassment, and also not wanting others to see you.) Reading Christmas novels with you comes to be one of his favorite traditions. It may not be a typical Christmas, but it’s one with you, and that’s all that matters to Pierro.

Capitano is really amazing during the holidays. Why? Because it’s always cold and wintery and he gives the best cuddles during these times. I don’t know why but I can see him unironically liking ugly Christmas sweaters. You originally brought him one as a joke but he actually started to wear it around the house. Most of the time you don’t mind because laying on his chest with it on is very soft and nice. Capitano is also the type to just go along with whatever you say because he rarely ever argues with you, plus he has no idea how to be festive so he just follows your lead. You find this adorable since he’s usually regarded as the captain who everyone follows, but when he’s with you, he’s hovering over your shoulder trying to mimic your movements.

You handle all of the cooking and stuff along those lines. It’s not like Capitano can’t cook, but rather, every time he tries to handle the ingredients, they always get up wrangled or mashed up due to his extreme strength (he apologizes so seriously every time and you have to hold yourself back from dying of laughter.) He feels bad for not helping with anything, so you let him do the mixing and beating parts. (Do not let him crack an egg.) Though, Capitano handles all of the heavy lifting. You two always get a lot of stares in the supermarket, because there’s this tall, hulking man, trailing behind you carrying dozens of items easily, while you’re leading him around. He doesn’t even let you hold a purse or bag. Singlehandedly carries the tree up the stairs as well. Capitano comes to enjoy the holiday more than he thought. He has some stories to tell his troops now.

Dottore on Christmas is… honestly, I don’t know what to write. He is not a festive man at all, does not care about it whatsoever. He will stand there and watch you if you try to put up lights or a tree and laugh when you fail. You will not be able to convert him so I don’t suggest trying. At the very least, you can try to put on a Christmas movie. He will critique it, point out the awful cliches, the overused plot points, the corny romance, and much more. You hear more of him talking than the actual movie, but it’s the time together that matters, right?

Though, if there’s one thing he appreciates, it’s the delicious food. Zandik did not care much for the taste of food before, only viewing it as a form of sustenance, but he can’t deny that your cooking is exquisite. However, he likes to experiment a lot of course, so there have been times he added random ingredients behind your back. You don’t find out until you tasted the final product - it either tastes God-awful or surprisingly good! In general, a frequent pastime for the two of you is making a small batch of a new recipe, and Zandik throwing in whatever he thinks will somehow enhance the flavor. Either way, he is smiling maliciously and eating it since the taste does not matter much to him. Curse that maniac genius meanie. >:(

Columbina enjoys the holidays a normal amount. She really likes shopping for cute clothes for the two of you, getting Christmas drinks, eating sugar cookies and hot chocolate, and all of the other sweet things couples do around this time. Around the holidays she gets especially clingy and cuddly - it’s her way of showing how grateful she is for you. Columbina also loves to steal your sweaters too. She likes to take photos with Christmas filters with you and post them to the group chat - the ones that add Santa hats and beards, or reindeer antlers, or falling snowflakes - you name it. She likes to take photos in general - she is really photogenic, in your opinion. Even when she’s not posing, she manages to look so beautiful especially when it’s snowing.

On Christmas day it is a challenge to get yourself and her out of bed. Columbina literally holds you hostage in her arms, refusing to let your warmth leave her. She would honestly spend the day in bed with you and some snacks while watching movies if you didn’t force her to get out of bed with the promise of gifts and more cuddles later. Overall, Christmas with her is sweet and endearing. She’s always near you, likes to drape yourself over you when you’re opening your gift, and giggles in your ear. Smothers you with kisses by the time the day is up.

Arlecchino on Christmas is surprisingly sweet. You would think that she spends it alone, but in recent years, she had begun to spend the holiday in the orphanage she had opened up not long ago. Arlecchino and you always make sure that kids have delectable dinner on Christmas day. There’s always a really long table with chairs and plates for all of the dozens of kids. (They tend to fight over who gets to sit around Auntie Arlecchino and you, which secretly embarrasses her.) She is also very good at wrapping gifts. Arlecchino became a master of the skill after helping to wrap dozens of gifts for the children at her orphanage. In the days coming to the holidays, you two wrap gifts for the kids after she teaches you how to do it efficiently.

After all the kids are put to bed after an eventful day, she likes to spend some time with you on her lap near the fireplace, maybe some wine too to wind down. Arlecchino has never been a very wordy or gushy person, so it greatly surprises you when she confesses how thankful she is for you, and how she loves you very much for staying with her. (The children will never stop bringing up how they found the two of you asleep together the next day.)

Pulcinella (platonic!) has seen and experienced a variety of Christmases. He knows the dos and don’ts of how to celebrate. He knows which decorations go with each other, what theme to do this year, the kinds of food people would like the most, and more. He shows you every step of his planning, wanting you to carry on the traditions. However, the one thing he won’t teach you is his secret stash of scrumptious recipes that he refuses to give to you until he’s in his grave. You can whine all you want but he is not giving you that mac and cheese recipe.

He does not have any family left besides you so he encourages you to invite your friends over for Christmas. You invite your friend group (the Harbingers) and even though he’s seen them a few times before, he always scrutinizes them carefully to analyze who you’re hanging out with (especially Dottore - heavily on Dottore…) You all have a good time - he usually leaves you alone with your friends as he doesn’t want to intrude on your youth. But after everyone leaves, he likes to watch these old black-and-white Christmas films with you and tell you about how back in his day… *insert lots of stories and his grandpa rambling.*

Scaramouche has never cared for the holidays. He had long been estranged from his mother, having cut contact with her, therefore having no one to be with during the festive times. But Kunikuzushi declared to himself and everyone that he did not care. It didn’t bother him as he saw families shopping for the holidays, or couples getting Christmas-themed drinks together. Hmph, he couldn’t care less. Well, that was until you came into his life, and brought the holiday spirit with you. When you wake up one day, all excited and way too early for his liking, taking a bunch of utensils and cooking stuff out, retrieving oval lights he didn’t even know you had, Kuni questions you in a sleepy stupor - what the hell are you doing? After you recovered from that jaw-dropping statement, you immediately exclaim about the holidays and how you must prepare! There was no time to waste!

But Scara just rolls his eyes and slumps back into bed, confusing you. And that’s when it clicks - your lover has probably never understood the point of holidays like these, which stemmed from his lack of love and familial bonds during his upbringing. He most likely thought this was stupid and a waste of time. So you gently introduce the idea to him. You ask him to help you bake cookies (to which you have to add less sugar since he doesn’t like sweets.) He begrudgingly helps you make a small Christmas dinner, and when you teasingly throw some flour at him, he returns it ten times more. You teach him how to wrap gifts, too.

He ends up admitting that all of the activities were oddly comforting. Scaramouche opts for the more homely and loving aspect of Christmas, not caring much for the gaudy extra decorations or tree or whatever. It takes him a couple of Christmases to truly warm up, but deep down he can’t deny that spending time with you on the holidays is something he secretly looks forward to every year. Perhaps one day his mother could join the two of you. One day, maybe.

Sandrone was not very interested in the holidays either, more because she had better things to do rather than to partake in some silly little celebration. Why would she care about such things when she could be researching? Even as a child she saw it as useless, preferring to lock herself in her room doing far more productive tasks. Well, that changed when you came along, begging her to at least semi-join you in your favorite traditions. For the first time in her life, she finds herself helping you haul a small tree into your shared place and making ornaments out of her spare parts from engineering. Also, Sandrone likes to observe people on Christmas with you. Seeing people flood the stores searching for a last-minute gift, or even slip on snow, she finds it amusing and interesting.

If you’d like she would make her robots hang up the decorations instead so that you could just relax with her (she was getting a bit annoyed at how your presence was always so far away.) After spending the days with you, Sandrone finds the idea of the holidays a bit more appealing now. (She began to dress up her robots in small Christmas outfits that the two of you sewed together, like elves and reindeer. She would die of embarrassment if anyone else saw.)

La Signora gets invited to a lot of Christmas parties and always wears a new dress to each of them. Can’t be seen wearing the same outfit to an event. Though after she met you, she decided to spend less time going to these parties and spend more time with you. How, you ask? She’ll host her own party of course, with her darling lover. Signora dolls you up real good and makes sure you look absolutely stunning. She wants everyone to know that you two belong to each other, to not come near her territory. (The message comes through loud and clear.) Signora is an excellent host, but she never leaves your side for too long. Takes over uncomfortable conversations for you and watches out for any possible weirdos who try to talk to you. She makes a toast to you and praises you which everyone claps to. Even if you don’t like large gatherings, she still manages to make it feel good.

After everything is finished, she likes to spend some alone time with you. It is late in the night, but Christmas is not over yet, she reminds you. Rosalyne seems to be the type to enjoy slow dancing with you, chuckling as you step on her feet sometimes. Watching her sway her hips and twirl you around is simply enchanting. I can see her ending the night by drinking some wine and little snacks, talking until you both fall asleep.

Pantalone loves Christmas because he now had a reasonable excuse to spoil you with gifts without getting reprimanded by you. No, really, he does not hold back. The gifts are piled so high that you can barely see the Christmas tree anymore, the only thing peeking out was the star at the top. Pantalone has a list that he makes in the months coming to December. Every time you show even the slightest bit of interest in something, whether you stare at it for a second or offhandedly mention that it looks cool, it’s getting added to the list. You get items you barely remember seeing yet Pantalone’s laser memory reminds you of the exact moment of when you commented on it while he smiles proudly. You honestly probably have a whole room dedicated to the miscellaneous gifts you get from him.

Also the kind of guy who will always deeply cherish whatever you get him. He especially likes homemade gifts - he finds that idea of you going out of your way to handcraft him something so incredibly sweet. Puts it in his office so he can look at it while he’s working. Of course, Pantalone also likes to take you out to scenic spots for dinner. Shamelessly books the whole restaurant and makes sure you two get the best view, with lots of glazed snow and five-star courses.

Childe adores the holidays, mostly because he genuinely loves spending time with his family. They bring him so much joy, and when the first Christmas with you as his lover rolls around? He’s so eager and excited for you to join the tradition. Yes, he had invited to you spend Christmas with him and his family before, but that was when you two were just friends. Now it’s completely different, Childe insists. And no, there is no possibility of getting out of this. Do you have to work? Too bad, he’s personally going to your boss and politely forcing them to give you your rightfully deserved days off.

Expect to spend a lot of time with his siblings - Tonia, Anthon, and Teucer. Decorating the tree? Check. Putting up Christmas lights? Check. Ugly Christmas sweaters? Check. No matter how corny or embarrassing it is, Childe is convincing the whole family to join him. (Though it’s not very hard considering how much his siblings look up to him. They tend to comply easily.) His new, favorite tradition though? Kissing you under the mistletoe. Literally recruits his siblings to randomly place them all over the house, and even in the middle of his conversations with you. Ajax is quite devious and greedy when it comes to you.

Bonus - Poly!Harbingers: Friendsgiving with poly! Harbingers except it's for Christmas (and you all live in the same mansion.) Dottore is banned from bringing anything for obvious reasons and Columbina is too because her cooking is inedible most of the time. Childe is the best cook and makes most of the feast. I think Signora is also a good cook so she helps him too. Pantalone buys everything and Sandrone’s robots makes sure the place is decked out in the prettiest decorations. Arlecchino and Columbina cuddle you with the static of some movie in the background - Columbina is trying to feed you sweets before the feast while Arlecchino is trying to stop her. Dottore tells you about all the miserable people he’s seen so far while he laughs (typical of him.) Scaramouche disses the food despite enjoying it, nearly causing a fight. Pierro is making sure things like that don’t happen and oversees everything. Capitano struggles to do any of these delicate tasks so he kind of just stands there with you and makes sure you aren’t doing anything. Though, he puts you on his shoulders so you can place the star on top of the Christmas tree!

Even if your cooking is the most mediocre thing there, all of them will be eating it up like their last meal. The house gets very loud especially when they start passive-aggressively fighting over whose food you liked the best. They take pictures of you doing everything - by the tree, in the snow, opening gifts, catching you off guard while eating, while you’re drunk - they have a shared album of over a thousand pictures by the end of the night. (They also make sure they all receive kisses from the dozens of hidden mistletoes around the house.) It is a very good and chaotic Christmas indeed.

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nyoomfruits · 1 year

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hi ☺️ first of all thank you so much for all the great fics you write! and thank you for Glitch, I absolutely love that it's so cute and soft but also giggle-worthy and laugh out loud FUN <3

I have somewhat of a weird/stupid question (and I don't know why my brain has fixated on this but humor me if you'd like, so I can picture every scene you write as it should be) : what does max usually wear to go to the office? like, is he a jeans + sweater/hoodie everyday kind of guy? does he choose khakis and a shirt? a suit, maybe??

(I'm also very curious about who's on the grid in this universe but maybe you'll tell us more in the next chapters 👀 can't wait to see how the story develops!)

first of all !!! thank you ;-; i'm glad you like it so far <3

SECOND OF ALL thats not a weird question at all thats a FANTASTIC question and i actually have a lot of Thoughts(tm) about it which i am VERY glad to share (coincidentally i did hold like a lil mini rant about max's clothing in glitch to eby a few days ago lmao)

the short answer is jeans + hoodie/t-shirt

THE LONG ANSWER is below a read more because this 1) got completely away from me and 2) actually contains spoilers for chapter three

so there's a line in the second paragraph of the first chapter that actually references the sweater ("He sniffs the sweater he’s wearing, pulls a face, and then gets off the couch and heads into the bedroom to find a clean one.") later in that same chapter it's referenced how he doesn't know much about fashion, and it's kind of implied he doesn't really care either

which gets confirmed in the opening scene of chapter three, which is literally max getting ready for his date, wearing like jeans and a t-shirt and daniel going "ABSOLUTELY NOT" and rooting through his closet for something nicer for him to wear lmao

Max stares down at his clothes. He’s wearing a pair of his nicest jeans, and a gray t-shirt one of his hook ups once told him makes his arms look really nice. “What’s wrong with this?” He asks, confused.

Daniel stops throwing clothing on the bed and sends Max a look. “Max. Maxy. Maxerino,” Daniel says, ignoring Max’s grumble of ‘I told you to stop calling me that’. “You’re going on a date with Charles Leclerc. And you’re wearing jeans and a t-shirt.”

“So?” Max asks, shrugging a little. “He’s still just a guy. What, do you want me to wear a suit just because he’s sort of famous? That’s ridiculous.”

also this snippet that i didn't want to deny you that happens much later and PERFECTLY describes max's fashion forward clothing style:

“Hi,” Charles says. “Sorry. Should’ve maybe started with that. You just look uh. Really hot.”

Max glances down at his t-shirt. It has the Excel logo on it, with ‘freak in the sheets’ written underneath. His sweatpants, he realizes to his great annoyance, have a hole in them. When he glances back up to Charles, he’s blushing.

“Shut up, apparently I’m into that whole rumpled nerd look, sue me.” Charles grouses, and Max laughs, leaning up to kiss him ever so softly.

never stated in the fic but that t-shirt was ABSOLUTELY a joke gift from either daniel or lando and max very much wears it unironically like this dude does just Not Care lmao

but yeah i hope that sort of answers the question?? max is very shrug emoji about his clothing in general, opting for comfort above all, so i'd say he wears a hoodie + jeans like 99% of the time unless he has something he knows he HAS to dress up for, like an official company thing

ALSO for the grid question: daniel, lando and max are the only non drivers in this universe and it takes place in the 2023 season so daniel wouldnt be on the grid anyway. idk who takes lando's seat but you do find out who takes max's seat and if you know me it's like. really not that hard to guess [side eyes my icon]. but that's really just a throw away mention and a fun little easter egg for me and eby. you won't really see much of the other drivers since it's mostly from max's pov :)

#you: haha so what does max wear?#me: great question. in this essay i will...#listen i LOVE lil niche questions like this so thank you SO MUCH for sending me this #glitch

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revenge-of-the-shit · 3 years

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Writing Chinese characters set within Western worlds

If you don’t want to read it on tumblr, go check this out on medium or go follow me on instagram at @annessarose_writes!

Alright. You know what. I’ve seen plenty of stereotypes in fiction (and in social media) that are so incredibly pervasive I’ve seen many Chinese people within the western world internalize it themselves. So here’s a rough guide on writing Chinese characters in an English-speaking Western setting, written by me, a Chinese Canadian woman.

If you’re here to say something racist fuck off. Otherwise, welcome! This is not a comprehensive guide by any means. This is merely a brief overview based on my own experiences. My experience (as someone in North America) will differ from someone living in, say, Europe or South America. I’m not representative of every Chinese person because everyone’s experience is unique. So here were are.

1. Our names

Chinese names are usually written as follows: [family name] [name]. Let’s take a Canadian historical figure as an example: 黃寬先. In Chinese, it’s pronounced “Wong Foon Sien.” On Canadian documents — which are written [First name] [Last name], he’d be called “Foon Sien Wong.” He went by “Foon Sien” for most of his life. That’s his full “first name.” Nobody would call him Foon because that’s just half of his name (unless given permission). It’d be like meeting a stranger called Alex and calling them “Al” right off the bat. Sure, they could go by Al, but you don’t know that.

For those of us living in the Western world, some of us have both a Chinese name and an English name. In these cases, our Chinese name becomes our middle name in English (e.g. a character could be called John Heen-Gwong Lee).

For some people who immigrated to the Western world but were born in China, their legal name would be their Chinese name. Some choose to keep that name. Some choose an English name as their “preferred” name but keep their Chinese name on legal documents. It varies.

2. Parents & Stereotypes

There’s two stereotypes which are so pervasive I see it being used over and over in jokes even within Chinese (and, to a larger extent, asian) communities:

The [abusive] tiger mom and the meek/absent dad

Both parents are unreasonably strict/abusive and they suck

I have yet to see any fiction stories with Chinese parents where they’re depicted as kind/loving/supportive/understanding (if you have recommendations — please do send them my way). Not all Chinese parents are tiger parents. Chinese parents — like all parents — are human. Good god. YES, they’re human! YES, they have flaws! YES, they are influenced by the culture they grew up in!

That isn’t to say there aren’t parents like those tropes. There are. I know this because I grew up in a predominantly Chinese community where I had many a friend’s parent who was like this. Parents who compare their kids to the best kid in class. Parents who force kids into private lessons and competitions that the kid despises because the parents think it’s for the best. Parents who have literally called their kid a disappointment because they didn’t get 100%.

But please, also consider: there’s parents who support their child’s goals and who listen. Not all parents force their kid into the stereotypical trifecta of lawyer/doctor/engineer — I know of a good number who support their child in choosing the path they want. There’s parents who make mistakes and learn and try their best to support their child. So please, for the love of god, if you write a Chinese character, don’t reduce their parents to stereotypes.

3. Language & Learning

When I first read The Son of Neptune by Rick Riordan, I was so excited to see a Chinese Canadian character in Frank Zhang. Finally, there was someone like me. Finally, there was representation in well-known western media.

While I do appreciate that RR added in Frank Zhang, it’s pretty obvious that he didn’t really know how to write a Chinese Canadian character. One of the most glaring examples: in The Son of Neptune, Frank reveals he can’t really read Chinese. In like, the next book (I think — it’s been a while since I read it), Frank is suddenly able to read Chinese because he “learned” it in two week’s time.

Nope. Nuh-uh. Learning Chinese is a pain, let me tell you. There’s thousands of different characters and it is something you need to devote a lot of time to learning (especially if you’re progressed past the best childhood years for learning a language). So if you’re writing about a Chinese character living in the western world, here’s what you need to know:

A character who was born and raised in the western world does not necessarily know how to read/write in Chinese.

If they were raised by their own family, the character would very likely know how to speak their own dialect. They’d be able to understand the language used in movies/TV and they sound like a native speaker, but they may not know how to use language outside of certain contexts (the term for this is heritage speaker).

They probably went to Chinese school. They probably hated it. Chinese school is usually universally hated and does not teach you jack shit other than a hatred for the place and a vague memory of learning how to read the language without actually retaining knowledge of what you learned.

Most of my friends who know how to read/write in Chinese learned from tutors, parents, or were born in China.

There’s two main types of written Chinese: Traditional (used by Cantonese speakers) and Simplified (used by Mandarin speakers).

There are MANY other dialects (which I don’t know much about). The most common ones are Mandarin (usually spoken by people from the mainland), then Cantonese (usually spoken by people from Hong Kong).

4. Fitting into the community

Usually, the story is one of two things: they’re the only Asian kid in the entire school, or they grew up in a predominantly East Asian community. Things to consider for both of these when you’re writing:

Growing up the only Asian kid

They’re “that Asian kid.” They’re different. They walk into a class and feel weird and out of place.

They bring food from home (usually ethnic cuisine) to school. Other classmates stare at it, make fun of it, demand what that strange food is.

“Where are you from?” “Here.” “No, like, where are you really from?”

“Your name is funny.”

People literally never getting the character’s name right.

And that horrible, horrible feeling: wishing that they were white so they could avoid all of this.

Growing up in a predominantly East Asian community

It’s not uncommon for Chinese cuisine to mix with other east Asian cuisines. For special occasions (or just for a casual night out), your character could very well go out to get some sushi, or go for some KBBQ, or get some Vietnamese noodles.

Screaming “AIYAA” at/with their friends unironically if they’re annoyed (I’ve done this a lot with Cantonese friends. Less so with Mandarin friends).

Slipping into Chinese for like, two words, during a mostly-English conversation to talk about food or some other topic that can’t be adequately conveyed in English.

Reading books by white authors and learning about white history and growing up thinking white names, white books, and white history is the norm and standard even though the community is surrounded by East Asian people.

When the character leaves this community, there’s a brief culture shock when they realize how sheltered they’ve been.

Things in common for both of these:

The character has grown up on ethnic cuisine. Yes, Chinese people do eat rice with many of our meals. Yes, boba (bubble) tea is extremely popular. No, rice isn’t the only thing we eat. No, not all Chinese people love boba (though as a Chinese person I admit this sounds sacrilegious to say…)

The character likely grew up watching film/TVthat originates from East Asia. It’s not uncommon to watch Studio Ghibli films. It’s not uncommon to watch Japanese or Korean shows with canto/mando dub (examples: Ultraman, Kamen Rider). If you want to see a classic Chinese film from Hong Kong that’s fucking hilarious, watch Kung Fu Hustle.

The character has felt or been told that they’re “too westernized to be Chinese, but too Chinese to fit into the western world.” They’re torn between the two.

5. General portrayal

It’s quite simple, really. We’re human. We’re regular people. We have regular hobbies like all people do. We’re good at some subjects and bad at others. We have likes and dislikes like all people do. So here’s a list of stereotypes you can avoid.

STEREOTYPES TO AVOID BECAUSE WE’RE REGULAR HUMANS AND WE DON’T FIT INTO A SINGLE COOKIE CUTTER SHAPE, DAMMIT.

The character is a maths whiz and perfect at all things STEM.

The character is a straight-A+ gifted/IB/AP student.

The character is the next coming of Mozart and is amazing at piano/violin.

The character’s free time is spent only studying.

The character is insanely good at martial arts.

The character is either meek and submissive or an explosive, dangerous force.

I’m not going to mention the other stereotypes. You know, those ones. The really obvious ones that make fun of and demonize (sometimes through multiple untruths) how we look and how we live our lives. You should know.

Of course, there are people who fit into one or more of these. That’s not the point. The point is: molding all Chinese characters to these stereotypes (which white media tends to do) is harmful and reductionist. We’re more than stereotypes.

—

6. Conclusion

We need more diversity in portrayal of Chinese characters. Reducing us into one-dimensional caricatures has done nothing but harm us — look at what’s happening now. This guide is by no means comprehensive, but I hope it has helped you by providing a quick overview.

If you want to accurately portray Chinese characters, do your research. Read Chinese fiction. Watch Chinese films/TV. Initiate a conversation with the community. Portray us accurately. Quit turning us into caricatures.

#non sw #writing #writing reference #reference #writing bipoc characters #Chinese representation #asian representation #asian characters #chinese characters #stop asian hate #chinese diaspora #chinese american #chinese canadian #writing guide #abuse tw #racism tw #long post #annessarose writes

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bubblyhoney · 3 years

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sarah i have thought of another fic request or like a cute idea i guess! i didn’t have anyone in mind when i thought of it so you can write it for whoever you want honestly :)

okay so the reader is a streamer but streams games like animal crossing, standew valley, etc. then (insert who you’re writing for) says they don’t like that game, but later ends up buying it and the reader is like “i thought you said you didn’t like this game” and they’re like “well i like you” and they confuses their feelings and they end up playing the game together and reader gives them a tour of their island or farm

i feel like this request isn’t good, but the scenario seemed cute and i wanted to share it. sorry if this is confusing or just too specific cuz i know it can be hard to write requests like that! but yeah i hope it gives you inspiration and you like the request <3

new horizons

warnings: language, a Marvel reference (hint: natasha said it about tony), stupid idiots who don’t realize they like each other, use of pet names, Uno rage, Hasan Piker's presence

words: 1473

tags: sapnap x gn!reader

A/N: i’ve been trying to catch up a little on my requests (i’ve only got a couple so i’m not super overwhelmed) but school and outside life has been taking up most of my time so this one took me a while to make! tbh— ive never played animal crossing so i did google some of the game mechanics and i apologize if anything is inaccurate about the game…. but i liked relaxing and writing this cute one so thank you for requesting hails :3

requests/inbox status: open

“This game is trash.”

Your head quirks, fingers stopped on the screen. You’re in the process of giving your character a cute new nickname; it’s kind of hard to decide between “awkward dude” and “elderly skater”.

“Excuse me?” Your chat comes alive with emotes and ‘KEKW’s, obviously entertained by you and your almost-more-than-friends-friend.

There’s a story for that later.

Sapnap’s rough laugh comes through your headset and he audibly swallows, the sound of a water bottle dropping onto his desk echoing.

“I’m just saying—it’s boring. It’s like Minecraft but you don’t like… do anything.” The grainy image of his bearded face shifts and you see him pull out his phone.

“It’s— you can’t even compare it to Minecraft! It’s a completely different game system—you actually interact with other people live in the game.” You huff out a dramatic sigh, slumping in your chair with a pout. “Just because you go into this lucid state where all you know is ‘touch block, hit George’ doesn’t mean this game isn’t fun.” (He scoffs at your awful impression of his voice. Your viewers love it.)

“Jeez,” he mumbles, fumbling with the cap of his water bottle. “Touched a nerve there, bud.”

You roll your eyes, getting back to the village in the game.

“Don't ‘bud’ me.”

The call falls comfortably quiet, the sounds of him tapping obsessively on his phone and you clicking away filling the silence. A gentle bedroom-pop YouTube playlist remains in the background, prompting you to hum along and glance at the chat to see a flood of “check twitter” and “Y/N TWITTER!!”.

“What happened on Twitter?” You mumble, confused, and pull the website up on another monitor. Sapnap just makes a curious noise, swinging back and forth in a circle. “Oh my God,” you say to yourself, fingertips brushing your parted lips.

“What?”

“Hasan Piker just followed me and retweeted one of my not even remotely political old tweets. Like from a year ago.”

“That’s— wow. Congrats?” Sapnap’s voice cracks, and his ears flush pink the tiniest bit when you glance at his face on Discord.

“I’m gonna go on record and say that he could get it.” You shake your head in disbelief.

Sapnap falls uncharacteristically non-hyper-verbal, so you look past the frenzied chat and to his screen— wait. He muted and turned his camera off.

“Um,” you start, furiously typing question marks in your private chat. “Where’d you go?” You mute and turn screen share off for your stream, concerned that he might’ve fallen off his chair and broken his neck and needs you to call the ambulance.

The characteristic ding of a twitter notification sounds through your bedroom, and you look at your phone quickly.

“That’s where I went.”

Sapnap Tweeted: “all Y/U stans can choke on my dick”.

“Jesus, Sapnap,” you say, and rapidly refresh to read the replies. This tweet was deleted. “That’s so— that barely makes sense, bro. Why— literally what?”

His snicker floods your ears and you relax in your chair. Crisis: averted. “Don’t fucking— what’s wrong with you?”

“I thought it would be funny,” he offers, shrugging, and fiddles with the straw in his water bottle, smile fading. “And also Hasan pisses me off.”

“Why, ‘cause he wants a piece of this? Jealous?” You think back to your viewers, knowing they’re probably spamming question marks and coming to ludacris conclusions about both of your absences. No offense to them. You remember your stan days very vividly.

“I mean, kinda.” He rubs once at his nose, glancing at the camera (and what feels like you) before taking a sip from his water bottle.

“Wow.” You watch one strand of his hair fall from beneath his hat and brush against his full eyebrows. “I’m uh—I’ll get back to my stream. You coming? Or is it time for a Sapnap-snack?”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” He snorts and leans his chin onto the balance of his arm.

“That means you like to take a little snack break mid-stream and come back approximately nine hours later and you didn’t even eat.”

“You know what— fuck you.” He flicks the camera as you laugh at the look on his face.

The teasing mood is easily kept as you switch games from Animal Crossing to Uno, all the while slamming Sapnap with +4’s and skipping the newly-arrived BadBoyHalo at any chance you can get. It unironically pisses him off and he has to take a Sapnap-snack break midway through (only a fifteen minute break this time, during which you and Bad take a “What Kind of Bread Are You?” quiz). The rest of the night is filled with devious cackles (you), loud and sudden bangs that sound suspiciously like someone hitting their desk in anger (Sap) and the stupid barking of Rat, AKA Lucy (Bad). She’s cute but a menace to the sound quality of Bad’s microphone. You sign off stream around 2 a.m. with various forms of thanks and kisses blown to the camera. It’s been a refreshing night, actually; you’ve been busy organizing a partnership stream all week and all your friends have been busy filming or editing or what-not. Quackity had time for a little Roblox every couple of days, though. He’s got your back.

The next time you see Sapnap is after a two hour stream of him try-harding in Valorant and you finishing responding to an email from your partnership in the VC.

“Okay, I’m back.” You hear him shift in his chair and click a couple more times on his keyboard. You perk up in your chair, closing the email browser you’d been looking at.

“Do you want to play anything else? I’m down for anything.”

“Absolutely not Uno. You can go to hell for giving me 6 cards that one time,” he jabs. You scoff, crossing your arms and leaning back in your chair.

“Okay, the +4 was on me but it’s Bad who gave you the last two. That’s not my fault, sweetie.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he mumbles, trailing off as the clicking of his keyboard stops. “Hey, um—Guess what?”

Your heart beats loud in your ears at the tone of his voice. He sounds nervous; that’s never good.

“I’m scared to guess,” you try, playing with a little Minecraft dog figurine you have on your desk with fidgety fingers. “What?”

“I bought Animal Crossing.”

Silence. You stare at his discord icon blankly, trying to reroute the wires of your brain.

“Tell me you love it.”

“Well… I haven’t actually played it— but you said you liked it, so.”

“So,” you repeat him, ears warming but continuing on. “Is that what you tell all your friends when you buy something they like? That it's because of them?”

He seems to choose his next words carefully, pausing a beat to consider your questions.

“Well, I don’t have a crush on all of my friends.”

“You—what?” You stutter, caught off guard and stumbling. What did he just say? “Don’t tell me you mean you have a crush on me.”

“I’m almost positive I just did.” His discord icon stares right back at you, taunting.

“You know, you’re very casual for someone who just admitted they like-like me.” Your cheeks flush pink and you have to press a hand to your chest to keep your breathing sounding stable.

“Yeah, I’m kind of cool like that,” he offers, a huff of a laugh punctuating his statement. The conversation moves into a lull that you can’t help but know is because of you. He must expect you to say something about it, right?

“You are very cool, Sapnap.” You tilt back in your chair, sucking in a breath to prepare yourself for your next words. “And—Isortakindofhaveacrushonyoutoo.”

He must understand you, for you can hear the grin in his voice when he asks “Really?”

“Y-yeah.” You feel like a preteen again, all shaky and giddy in front of the boy you just asked to a middle school dance.

“Um, alright. What do we do now?”

“I don’t know,” you answer genuinely and swing in a happy little circle in your chair. “We could play Animal Crossing.”

“I’m down.”

You swear you’ve never heard more beautiful words.

He keeps his camera off for most of the time you two play, too focused on creating his island and asking you questions about how to fish to turn it on. He silently flips it on when you help him decorate his lawn, needing to show you in real-time the decorations he has bought and where you think he should put them. He looks cute. I mean, of course he does. He always does.

You tell him goodbye late in the night, eyes saying a little more than just “see you tomorrow”.

You like him. He likes you.

It’s even better when you two have matching gardens.

A/N: anybody and everybody (especially my precious hailey) let me know what you think!! :]

#sapnap #mcyt #sapnap x gn!reader #sapnap x reader #sapnap x you #sapnap fluff #sapnap drabble #sapnap oneshot #bubblyhoneyfics #honey answers #mcyt x reader #🥚except small

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rainbowloliofjustice · 3 years

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I hate how so many people just... lack any kind of critical media literacy across so many different genres and how just about every genre and common tropes, issues, etc. within them just get boiled down to "Oh this is bad because ableism/racism/homophobia" even though the tropes largely have nothing to do with that. It's like they have such a surface-level understanding of something and then proceeds to read into said surface-level understanding in a contest to see who can come up with the most disingenuous, bad faith, uncharitable and just all-around god an awful interpretation of it.

"Characters having prosthetics as an allegory for losing their humanity is ablest because it is saying that if you got into an accident you are a monster." No, you absolute peanut. Robotic parts specifically are an allegory for the loss of humanity in characters that just get rid of their human body because they were being reckless, stupid, thought that it was not perfect enough, too weak, etc. Oftentimes, this is juxtaposed with a character that is a robot but is more human than the cyborg or person that just gets another piece of them replaced with a machine.

Ironwood getting increasingly mechanical parts as he is making increasingly inhumane choices in regards to himself and others is not saying he's a monster because he had an oops boo boo and had to replace his arm. ESPECIALLY when his character is juxtaposed by a character who has a robotic arm (Yang) and a character who is a created robot (Penny). The reason why Yang said that her robotic arm (and even taking pride in it at that) is "just extra" because it is just an extra asset to who she is as a person, but not her whole person. In terms of Penny, she is entirely made of machines but has what amounts to a human heart and compassion because she makes a choice to be kind to people. The allegory here (that y'all failed to understand) is that it is not whether or not someone has prosthetic or robotic parts that determine their humanity, but rather their choices and how they treat others.

It is often also the same in stories where it has characters who have robotic parts such as Alita Battle Angel or anything that genuinely comes from cyberpunk dystopia. Alita (Who is completely robot mind you) is often more kind, compassionate, etc. than characters who are fully human. Hugo and his crew regularly steal parts from cyborgs who've done nothing to him and this is juxtaposed by characters like Grewishka and Zipan who are mechanical and monstrous but not because of their parts but because of their choices. Which is a strong contrast to Alita who is fully kindhearted and has a strong sense of justice and doing what is right regardless of whether there is a price tag on it.

In more dystopian stories wherein no short words, the corrupt government controls technology and spies on its people using it, it can be a question of how much of your humanity (in this instance, privacy and agency over oneself) you're willing to sacrifice for comfort or just because you had to. But of course, rather than looking at these stories as a potential warning that we should make laws that would prevent the government from using technology against its people under the guise of safety, convenience, etc. Or even having people question wtf do they do should the government get so corrupt that it can just hijack someone's arm or even just stop someone's pacemaker because lol why not.

Yeah I get it, it's uncomfortable but unfortunately, the people who need it the most are going to be the people most at risk to a corrupt government which is like... kinda the point.

But anyways moving on

The same can go for when stories use animals as a means of telling stories revolving around discrimination. But ofc people can only see it as a surface-level "racism" and then do their damnest to force characters into being black/poc or white (and for some reason, only those two races) while failing to realize that the reason it was done is that discrimination has more than one axis. I swear this logic is what has convinced me all the talk of intersectionality in activism is just a joke they say to get other people to just shut up and let them speak over them and ignore problems/issues they don't want to focus on. It's like the only thing they can understand is racism and even that racism is only if it is hatred and black people vs white people. And somehow even that is on its most basic level.

The reason stories like Zootopia and Beastars work when it comes to discrimination because it doesn't solely focus on the narrative of race and allows it to explore the implicit and explicit biases of every character that doesn't exclusively revolve around racism. It allows characters to be on the axis of sexism, racism, class, etc. and explore various -isms that are not always "negative" in the sense that it is just hatred, racial slurs, etc. and that it can be the "positive" racism like saying "you're one of the good ones" or that "they're a token to xyz for not being as bad as everyone else."

It allows characters to fall on multiple axes without people arguing whether they have it "too good to complain" because of just one axis of discrimination that they give more weight to than others for some arbitrary reason.

Even when it comes to things like nudity being a symbol of being true to oneself or purity (such as Sailor Moon or Kill La Kill) people manage to, unironically boil it down to just the writers feeling horny and therefore ignore any other kind of lore, storytelling, etc. that revolves around it. They took one thing, scrubbed, bleached, and then nuked it of any kind of context/meta just to say lol writers horny this bad it literally means nothing else even though there are whole ass plot lines revolving around it. Like do you just pick and choose what kind of plot or storytelling is Valid (TM)?

And this extends to things beyond that and I just don't understand how people can lack such media literacy when you can literally go and read anything you want online. Is it because of people being willfully ignorant? Just lacking media literacy for some reason? Only consuming and understanding media that has to have every meaning shoved down their throat like the tentacle down an anime girl's throat in a hentai??? Like there are so many questions as to how people can come up with so many dumbass takes.

#rainbow things #as you can tell i am like mad #like mad mad #ive seen one to many bad media takes today and yall i cant #i cant fucking do this i can't handle this shit how are some of yall this DUMB #its like you have to intentionally scrub and remove it of any context to come up with some of these takes #like all of it and put it in some vaccum and say #yup the writers did this cause they were misogynistic/horny/racist/ableist #and im just like bruuuuuhhhh #context matters #context clues matter #like holy fuck how did some of you bypass 5th grade media literacy with these god awful takes #or are you just willfully dumb for social media???#like do you NEED to be spoonfed EVERY FUCKING THING??#do they have to shove it THAT far down your god damn throat???#insert rainbow and eldritch screaming cause holy fuck #like i feel like that one woman whose power ring melted and she screeched like a pterodactyle #thats me thats my fucking mood rn

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gleekto · 2 years

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Fic: Can’t Take My Eyes Off Of You (7/?)

Short Summary: Blaine coming of age in 1969. Columbia University. Hippie!Kurt. Elliott and Sebastian as Blaine’s mentor-friends. Unironic use of ‘groovy’. Coming out and fitting in and falling in love.

Amazing Poster by @caramelcoffeeaddict

For @slayediest who gave an inspired prompt for this way back when.

Day One, Day Two, Day Three, Day Four, Day Five, Day 6

Day Seven: Tricky

The dorm rap committee has a debrief at Earl Hall on the Monday before the Tuesday general meeting.

"A rousing success," Elliott high fives Dani and grabs the chair next to Sebastian. "Am I right, Blaine?"

"I have no basis for comparison but it sure wasn't like presenting to a football team," Blaine pauses. "Or a church group."

"Oh we've done a few of those," Dani nods knowingly. "Way more tricky. Gotta love the free love crowd. They have a lot less hang ups about sex outside of a straight marriage."

"They seem to have a lot less hang ups about everything."

"Smoke enough weed and everything goes," Sebastian smirks.

"I think they actually meant it," Blaine pauses. "At least one of them did. One of them is in my music history class. He actually told me the other day that he may check out one of our meetings," Blaine says proudly. They're always looking for new members - gay or straight. Doesn't matter.

Three sets of eyes go wide. "Wow," Elliott nods in approval. "Who that Jesse guy? Sebastian, you should have seen this guy - loves the attention. Wants it all, guys, girls, doesn't matter."

"Was he hot?"

"Sure," Elliott shrugs.

"One of us?" Sebastian continues. "Not with his girlfriend on his arm," Sebastian scoffs. "No seriously. I don't think he was. Just too all out there."

Blaine nods. Jesse was definitely all out there. "No, not Jesse actually. It was that quiet guy, Kurt. He's in my class."

"You mentioned," Elliott looks at Blaine quizzically. "You realize that guy might not just be a supportive friend, right?"

"Who Kurt? No no. He's not gay. Just a hippie. But supportive."

Elliott sighs skeptically. "Much as I'd love to believe all those hippies are so open minded that they want to attend our meetings-"

"He is."

"Is he hot?" Sebastian switches gears.

"I don't know. I guess," Blaine says, indignant. "I mean yeah, he's good looking but I kind of know him and he's in my class and it wouldn't be appropriate-"

"To what?" Sebastian stares at him. "You think your roommate Sam never admits he thinks a female friend is hot?"

"'Course he does. He doesn't shut up about that girl Sarah on the fourth floor." Blaine does not appreciate the three sets of eyes staring him down right now like he's been caught doing something illegal. When he's trying to do the opposite.

"Look, I'm just trying to make this world a more tolerant place and I'm going to welcome our friend Kurt without objectifying him, if that's okay with all you seniors."

"Our heterosexual friend, Kurt," Elliott emphasizes.

"Exactly," Blaine agrees.

"I know we live in a world where we better not think anyone is gay, lest we want to be heartbroken, or worse - But the Homophile League is our world, and a new guy coming into it - you can connect the dots," Sebastian crosses his arms. So sure of himself.

"No," Blaine shakes his head dismissively.

"Nope," Elliott finally agrees but then he leans into him and continues "Hope is just too scary, right Blaine?"

Blaine is extra nervous before the Homophile League meeting this Tuesday. He takes extra care with his outfit, choosing his usual classic masculine look - jeans and a freshly pressed white button down, but this time with a red and navy bowtie for a bit of flare. And red patent leather shoes - an impulse purchase that he hasn't had the guts to wear. Until today. It's a little more "noticeable" than he usually dresses but no one is likely to notice before he gets to the meeting. What is he even so worried about? That someone might think he's gay because he's fashionable? He tries so hard to fit in but there are worse things than a rumour that is actually true. Kurt isn't even gay and he isn't afraid to wear the most outrageous outfits. Which look really good on him so Blaine can understand why. But he guesses hippies can get away with mostly anything.

This is only Blaine's fourth meeting so it makes sense that he's still nervous. It's definitely not that Kurt may show up. Or maybe just a bit because he'd obviously be responsible for making him feel welcome - after all it was their dorm rap that got him here. If he even comes.

"Hey Blaine. Wanna help me set up the chairs?" Blaine is relieved to see Elliott. He's confident and out and so comfortable about everything. He is like a big brother. But Blaine still wants to be hot. If not to Elliott, then at least to other gay guys.

"So what should we lead with Blaine? We've got the fun stuff and the serious stuff - our first ever community dance in a month or the concerned parents association writing to the paper yet again about the pansies going too far?"

"Really?"

"Yeah, and I'm not sure they're going to let up. So conservative and-"

"No, I mean the dance."

Elliott gives him a sly smile. "Got your eyes on someone, Blaine?"

"No, I mean, politically." Obviously. "It's just really cool that it's happening after not being allowed to organize social events and-"

"Oh yeah. Politically it's great. Seb and I will be there for sure. And you never know who might show up-"

"Hi Blaine." Blaine pivots and keeps his face as calm as possible. Kurt came. Because of his presentation. He is helping to make the world more tolerant. To bring in supporters to their cause. He smiles widely.

"Hi Kurt. So glad you could make it. You remember Elliott?"

"Kurt - welcome."

"Of course," Kurt nods. He has a lovely, soft voice, Blaine thinks. "San Francisco, big city to big city."

"Good thing you were listening. There's a quiz later," Elliott squeezes Kurt's shoulder. "So glad to have you, Kurt. I gotta start this thing but seriously, great you could make it."

There's an awkward silence when Elliott steps away. Or at least Blaine thinks it's awkward. He has no trouble making friends or making people feel welcome. This is ridiculous that he feels tongue tied with a person he actually knows. "So how does this regular meeting thing work? Do we just chit chat or-"

"No, no." Blaine gestures at the chairs set out in a circle. "Elliott will lead the meeting. Apparently today we're talking about how to address another complaint by parents about us in the paper, and our permission to hold a community dance."

"Figures you get complaints," Kurt shakes his head, almost angry. "You guys are the most harmless and conservative looking students. You are not nearly as boundary pushing as my hippie crew. What even do they want from you?" Kurt shakes his head.

"We're not that conservative," Blaine says back, "Looks can be deceiving you know," He teases trying to lighten the mood.

"Well, you are wearing red shoes," Kurt smiles conspiratorily. Kurt noticed. Kurt in dark blue bell bottom jeans with a cowboy leather vest and silk striped top noticed his little pop. Which Blaine is now sure he needs to stop thinking about because Sebastian was dead wrong - Kurt just said that the gay students are more conservative than the hippies. And Kurt is a hippie. Wrong box.

The meeting is nice actually. In the first half, they decide they will write their own letter to the editor about what their group is really about - promoting tolerance, and acceptance of everyone - homosexual and heterosexual - and that it's a false stereotype that gay people are just about parties and a wild life ("speak for yourself", Sebastian interrupts) - we're not so different from you. And in the second half, there is a lot of enthusiasm for the stereotype itself - the dance. The first one ever. It's for community building. Not hooking up. Maybe.

Blaine notices that Kurt doesn't say anything throughout the meeting. Just listens like a true supporter would. And he obviously isn't that interested in the dance, but he's polite enough to stay until the end.

"See you in class tomorrow, Blaine." Kurt waves at him and smiles quietly as he exits.

"Nice guy that Kurt," Elliott says to him as the door closes with just a few members left cleaning up.

"Right Blaine?" Sebastian joins them with a smirk on his face.

Blaine crosses his arms and leans against the wall. "Yes Sebastian. He is a nice guy. A nice heterosexual guy who wants to promote tolerance."

"Ha!" Sebastian shakes his head at Blaine. "You don't seriously think that guy is straight, right?"

"No. I know he is. He said it to me right in the meeting - he can't believe people are threatened by us - that homosexuals, like us, look way more conservative than hippies, like him."

Elliott and Sebastian look at each other skeptically. "I don't think Kurt meant what you think he meant, Blaine," Elliott shrugs.

"I think our Blaine has a crush," Sebastian reaches to pinch Blaine's cheek before Blaine swats his hand away.

"I am not crushing on a straight guy again, Sebastian. Been there done that. And yes, I'm sure." That ends that.

"So ask him," Sebastian challenges. "Ask him if he has a girlfriend. You'll have your answer." Blaine shakes his head. "I dare you."

#klaine spring fling #two scenes again today!#can't take my eyes off of you #I will likely post all the sections so far incl tomorrow's as chapter one on AO3

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saby-chan · 3 years

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Why the ATLA comics fail when it comes to Zuko and his family

To whom ever took their time to actually stop and read this post, thank you in advance for not skipping my post and willing to stay and read my humble opinion! I hope I won’t disappoint you!

As a relatively newcomer to the ATLA fanbase since 2020, I’ve come across a lot of interesting debates, comments and rants about the show, characters and fandom in general, but nothing has captivated me as much as the dumpster-on-fire that are the ATLA comics, more specifically: The Promise and The Search.

On one hand we have the hardcore fans who want them to be animated or serialized into the Netflix live action, praising the comics for the new views and subject matters they’ve brought into the show’s lore, while on the other hand we have the furious Azula fandom who is really angry for the fact that best girl didn’t get the redemption arc she rightfully deserved so much after the painful event that was the Last Agni Kai and the even more angry fans of the Urzai ship (yeah, the people who actually ship Zuko’s parents unironically) who hated the retconning of the show’s cannon since the comics basically took a huge fat dump on what was previously established as official cannon, when the Search entered the scene, but between these two sides, who has the more valid point? In the end, are the comics good cannon or bad written fanfiction?

Well... Here are my two cents on this matter since I myself happen to be an Azula and Zuko fan and had huge expectations from these comics (since I wanted more from my fave hot-headed fiery siblings duo) but ended up disappointed: the comics are indeed a huge mess and actually bad written fanfiction when it comes to Zuko and his family! Don’t click off yet, because I actually documented the reasons why exactly the comics fail in this area:

1. The author of these comics is not part of the BryKe duo

Yes, I would like to start with the fact that if you actually take a second to look up who in the heck took the time to write these two books, you won’t find Bryan, nor Mike, but a fellow man named Gene Yang. This is important because while the wiki of both The Promise and The Search state BryKe as the creators, that doesn’t mean that they were the actual minds behind these comics, but rather because ATLA is their “baby” and these comics involve their characters, over which they have copyright. Mr. Yang here is the actual brain behind the plot, as the main writer, which explains why we find huuuuge inconsistencies between the show lore and the comics, especially Zuko wise.

My main issue with Mr. Yang isn’t that he isn’t BryKe specifically, but because he did an unforgivable mistake in his writing process: He projected himself into Zuko’s character, based on the relationship Zuko had with his father. This is a documented fact from an interview in which he explains that he sees himself and his dad’s relationship into Zuko and Ozai and used that when writing their interactions and built Zuko’s character in the comics. And this is wrong because when you have an already very developed and complex character such as Zuko, you can’t just come in and be like “Oh, I was an angsty teen just like him in my teenage years, fighting with my dad and whatnot, so he must have the same thought process as me!”. NO! This is bad fanfiction writer behavior! Zuko has his own personality and philosophy, which he developed over the course of 3 seasons and is not defined by only 1 unfortunate aspect of his past, so you can’t just base his whole mindset and actions off of your own personal experience just because you had the same daddy issues he had!

2. The whole “Promise that you will kill me if I turn out like my dad!” nonsense in The Promise

Reason number 2 why these comics fail and go under the category of “bad fanfiction” is because they fail to convey the core essence of the source material. The whole point of Zuko’s redemption was that he realized the wrongdoings of his ancestors and his own mistakes. He outgrew his desire of gaining his father’s acknowledgement in favor of choosing his own destiny. Having him worry that he’ll turn into his father is utter nonsense and feels like poor angsty drama material for the sake of angst. At this point in time, Zuko has overcame that obstacle in his life a long time ago and should be at the level where he himself is the “Uncle Iroh” for other people and in no way someone concerned of becoming their own worst enemy!

Not only that, but the whole point of Aang’s journey and the story of the show as a whole was to teach us, the viewers, the importance of forgiveness, empathy and love in life. Aang didn’t spare Ozai, aka “the ultimate evil” just to flex in front of his pals or because he is a “ 12 y/o vegan pacifist monk kid”, but because he knew that killing someone, no matter of what they did or wanted to do, wouldn’t restore balance into the Universe, on the contrary, him killing the villain would have meant perpetuating the “endless cycle of hate” that plagued the world. So having Aang promise to kill his best friend in case “they turned into an evil maniac like their dad” contradicts Aang’s whole character and it’s a nonsense that throws into the trash what we’ve learnt throughout the entire TV series.

3. Azula deserved (and was supposed) to have a redemption ark

This might still be pure speculation, but I count it as a documented reason because I’ve heard quite a few people saying that there should’ve been a book 4 in the show, aka “Book 4: Air”, and no, it wasn’t The Search, but actually Zuko and Azula’s journey as Zuko helps his younger sister heal her broken mind by being her very own “Uncle Iroh”. Sure, they prolly were going to end up looking for Ursa, but the journey should’ve ended with them actually being happy and a family again and not the bs we got in The Search where a still very unstable Azula runs away and becomes the “Next Joker”! The only problem is that M. Night had to pop up and curse the world with his movie, which forced BryKe to delay the project (and eventually abandoned it in favor of Korra).

All in all, either if BryKe had this preplanned or not, it made sense for Azula to get a redemption ark, she deserved it because she was just a broken 14 y/o child! If Katara’s mom’s murderer deserved to be forgiven, so did this poor child who had no fault for what happened to her since she had a dysfunctional family! What Gene Yang did in his poorly written fanfiction was to just antagonize a broken child, turning her into a monster for the sake of friggin angst!

4. The Search is the worst of the two, being flat af character wise

And finally, getting to the point that I personally find the most annoying about these comics: The Search. This one... This one is a mess on a hella lot many levels, and just to list a few: characters are flat as fudge, being either black as vanta black (like Ozai and Azula) or pure white like Gene’s Gary Stue OC, Mr Ikem (or how I like to call him, IKEA man) and his ‘victim’ rendition of Ursa, Azula gets to suffer more for no reason (see reason number 3 to why I find this as a no no), Ursa’s whole character sucks ass (man, I could write a whole thesis on why Yang’s version of her is terrible and doesn’t match the strong woman we got in the show) and Zuko does morally wrong stuff (my man literally used his unstable sister to bribe their dad into spitting info about Ursa... Show Zuko would never do that!;-;)

Oh boy, as a person who’s seen a ton of anime and other media and read many books, I can’t begin on how much I despise this type of writing: flat characters are the worst!

ATLA characters in the show are nothing close to being flat! What I mean by that is that none of them fall perfectly into pure white (aka goodest of good characters with no imperfections) or vanta black (aka lowest and darkest twisted monsters out there), each of them are various shades of grey (like Aang who is a very light grey because despite being a very kind and nice character, he still isn’t a “perfect hero” since he ran away from his duties, practiced tax fraud with Toph, had insecurities and even threatened to kill people on ocassions like with the sand benders who took Appa) and this is a good choice because that prevents them from becoming what’s globally known as Mary Sues and Gary Stues (aka those either “perfect” characters with no flaws and/or unlimited power, or the twisted monsters full of flaws).

And the other reason why many other people hate The Search: it literally negates previously established cannon. And here comes my short essay on why this comic fails Zuko’s family (since we’ve already talked enough about Zuko himself).

In cannon and even interviews with BryKe, it was clearly stated that Zuko’s family was “once happy”. Where is this “once happy” family in The Search? All I see is pain, deception, lies and betrayal, nothing close to anything that resembles happiness. Okay, some of you might come in and say that “It’s because it was never the case! It was only lies and Zuko trying to convince himself that he didn’t live in hell forever!” and here is WHERE YOU WERE ALL WRONG! And why? Because, my dear fella, where were depicted the flashbacks of Zuko’s “happy family” in The Beach? Ember Island. And what do we know and had been even quoted in the show? "Like waves washing away the footprints on the sand, Ember Island gives everyone a clean slate. Ember Island reveals the true you." (direct quote from the show). Exactly, no matter who you are or how hard you try, you can’t hide your true self when you are on the Ember Island, best example being Azula, who’s impenetrable though shell cracked and revealed the true vulnerable child that was underneath. If Azula couldn’t resist the “spell of the island”, no one can. So this means that Zuko’s family was indeed happy once and yes, Ozai wasn’t always the douchebag we got to know in Season 3 (I have a whole nother essay on my theories regarding what could be his real past story and why he’s actually the “Zuko” of his generation, based on stuff I gathered from old wiki entries and character analyses I made, but that’s for another time, lemme know if ya’ll are interested).

And what I guess is the biggest proof why The Search did this family’s past trash is comics Ursa herself. My dude, if this woman were indeed the victim of years of endless abuse and never loved her husband, I guarantee you that she would’ve been closer to what we saw in Todoroki’s mom from BNHA and Zuko would’ve gotten that scar or even worse long before the Agni Kai, not from his “daddy dearest”, but from “mommy dearest” herself, because no sane woman would be soo affectionate and attached to a child that’s the perfect copy of their abuser, sepecially appearance wise (again see Todoroki’s mom’s case from BNHA because the stories are really similar) and in no way would’ve she been willing to sacrifice her life for said child’s sake. With this ocassion, I remind ya’ll folks that according to the ancient ATLA cannon wikis on Nick’s site, Ozai was designed with Zuko’s appearance in mind, being meant to be like a “grown up scarless version” of Zuko. So yeah, remember this with a grain of salt that whenever you simp over grown up Zuko, you involuntary simp for Ozai too.

So yeah, I guess this kinda concludes my “not so short” rant about why the comics fail and are bad fanfiction. Lemme hear your thoughts in the comments and if you agree, feel free to leave a like and even reblog.

Bye bye and remember that Momo is the true strongest character of the show!

Saby out.

#atla #avatar the last airbender #atla comics #zuko #azula #ozai #ursa #fire siblings #the promise #the search #atla rant

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recklessmark · 3 years

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chapter three: i love him forever, is it better than you yet?

—from DISCRETION series

Summary: you incidentally met a notorious CEO and your gut told you that you must claim this man. and even the fact that he’s engaged to someone else didn’t stop you from achieving what you want.

Pairing: CEO! Mark x Designer! Reader

Words: 1620

Warnings: none

—previous: chapter two-encounter

Ever since the day you met Kim Yeri, you haven’t even contacted Alicia. You’re busy designing the wedding dress for your rival. It sounds hilarious, you know though. You tiredly stretch out your shoulders, finding a contact in your phone.

“Hello?”, a low voice answers.

“Mark, it’s me. The wedding dress is done, do you want to have a look?”

“I’m having a meeting. Alright, you bring the dress to her house, just let her decide.”

You smirk, “You’re bold huh? Let your lovely fiancé meet her rival at her own house. You’re always provoking me!”. Hanging up the phone, you sigh. Your fingertips trace up the white fabric, mumbling something.

Following the address Mark sent, you quickly pull up to Yeri’s house. With your arms crossing on your chest, you walk into the villa, followed by a man who is carrying a suitcase.

“Sorry, who do you want to see?”, a woman politely asks.

“Designer, bringing Ms Kim her wedding dress. Can I come in?”

The woman instantly nods, smiling widely she leads you inside. You smirk, seems like this wedding is really important. What could you expect, that’s Mark Lee. Stopping in front of the door, you asked the man to give you the suitcase and walk inside alone. The first sight that you see is a woman sitting next to the balcony, the wind blowing up her hair slightly.

She’s an artist, you remind yourself.

The specific lavender fragrance of you draws Yeri’s attention, she immediately recognizes it. “How could you come here?”

“I don’t like talking, just try this dress on.” You open the suitcase, revealing the wedding dress.

Noticing the doubt in her eyes, you casually sit on the couch. “Don’t worry, I have my own rules. I won’t kill you while you’re trying the dress on, there’s nothing suspicious inside the dress either. Losing my reputation just because of a girl like you is embarrassing.”

Yeri tightens her fists, she doesn’t move a little.

You raise a brow, “What? You don’t like it huh? Mark took his time begging me to bring it here for you and you don’t want it? Haiz alright, I’ll tell him later.”

Seeing you have the intention to leave, Yeri frantically stands up. “Wait! I didn’t mean it. Please wait a minute.”

You happily sit down again, wondering how naive this girl is, to the point it’s ridiculous to you. Mark Lee, there would be a gun to his head and he still never begs anyone for anything. She thinks she’s all that matter huh?

Trying the dress on inside the bathroom, Yeri has to admit your talent although she doesn’t like you. The gown fluffy with layers of velvet fabric, on top is a layer of lace, the white color vibrant as cloud. Some little diamonds are attached to the top of the dress, sparkles like stars. You even bring her a pair of high heels, a pair of velvet gloves and a crystal necklace that goes with the dress. Yeri can’t help but surprised, you’re truly professional and delicate.

“Miss, did you sleep in there?”, your impatience kicking in you, you hate waiting.

Yeri quickly opens the door and steps outside. You stand up, giving the woman an overall look from top to toes.

“No need to look at me with that cautious eyes.”, you mutter out, your hands touch the waist of the dress. “Hmm, your waist is quite small than I estimated. Take it off, I have to fix it.”

Hearing you, she ironically touching her waist. “Really? I think it fits well...”

“Clothes were born to dignify human, at least to me. Furthermore this is your wedding dress, just take it off.” You turn back to sit on the sofa, waiting for Yeri to change.

When she walks out, carrying the white dress with both arms, she hesitantly asks. “When Mark comes he can’t see me wearing it, can him?”

You smirk mockingly, so she wants to dress up prettily for her lover. You don’t mean to look down on her but she’s way more mediocre than you think. “If you want to wear something that doesn’t fit you for that man to see, just keep the dress yourself.”

Yeri heard that, realizes she’s too shallow. On the other hand, your personality seems to match with Mark’s unironically, both of you always seek for perfection.

“You’re definitely the best designer. Mark did found a lot of designers but none of them works delicately like you.”, Yeri hands you the dress, smiling softly.

You put the dress back inside the suitcase, locking it. “Miss girl, I hope that you don’t think that I’m a nice a person. I don’t like you so don’t act like we’re a friends!”, you give her a cold glance. The smile on Yeri’s face faded away slightly. She flattered herself too much, these small reconciliations are like ridiculous kid games to you.

“You really think that Mark will come?”, you naturally flop yourself on the bed.

“What do you mean?”, the girl frowns.

You chuckle, tracing the rings on your fingers. “A soon-married man, despite how busy he is, he will take time to see his future wife in the wedding dress. People always say a woman is prettiest when she wears a wedding dress. So what do you think? Being an artist still requires a grey matter right?”

Yeri’s body shakes lightly, how could she not know. You mean that she’s nothing matter to Mark!

A memory of three years ago playing in her head. When Mark came to her exhibition, she immediately fell for this man. Then Mark occasionally offered Yeri to do some paintings for him, for unknown reasons. The relationship grew up gradually. She has always being so arrogant about her boyfriend, although many women have a dream to be with him but they all gave up without you interfering. She always thought that Mark told them he already had a girlfriend. And now, with your appearance, she realizes she was flattering herself. If she actually thinks about it, why would Mark choose her, a normal artist. She definitely can not compete with you, both appearance and wealthiness.

You smile, “What did you think for so long Ms Kim, Mark texted me to say you sorry cause he can’t come, he’s too busy.”

Yeri frantically snatches your phone, which was being hold in your hand. You smirk, Mark sent it when Yeri was trying the dress on but you want to make the game better. Certainly the woman can see it herself, ‘delivered 30 minutes ago’. She tries to ease her anger, squeezing your phone in her fist. “Why would you do this?”

“Why? Because I like Mark!”

Your words make her mad even more, “Like? You don’t even have the right to say it! I love him, 3 years! Who the hell you think you are? To steal Mark from me?”

Her reaction makes you satisfied. All that naivety, tenderness is a cover for her true being. She’s tearing off her mask now, by herself, in front of you.

“Oh really? So I also love Mark! I love him forever! Is it better than you yet?”

Yeri throws your phone on the floor, “Y/N L/N!”, she screams.

You pick up your shattered phone, shoving it inside your jacket. “Only by saying, ten mouths of yours still can not compete with mine. Look at yourself, I’m cruel, how about you?”

—

You’ve been working your ass off since that day at Yeri’s house, you don’t even have time to see Mark. The dress is done, stored in a suitcase that is probably somewhere in your office, you don’t remember. Your desk is full of white fabric, you tiredly lay your back against the chair, closing your eyes.

Knock! Knock!

“Come in!”, your voice sounds raspy.

You aren’t even bothered to open your eyes but you know for sure who that is by breathing the air. “I don’t want to eat.”

“You wanna die huh?”

“Go out!”

“No!”

You grit your teeth, open your eyes which is displaying some red blood veins due to overworking. “Alicia! What do you want?!”

Alicia almost dropped the tray of sandwich and a glass of milk on her hands. Staring at your eye bags, with the vein showing in your eye balls clearly, she knows that you didn’t sleep for days. “You only drink milk to keep yourself alive, didn’t have a good sleep huh?”

“Yeah the exact moment I’m taking a nap, you come in and disturb me!”

She furiously looks at you, putting the tray of food on your table. “You should eat first. The tickets are booked, the flight is on this Sunday.”

“What’s the day of today?”, you ask, take a bite on the sandwich.

“Miss Y/N, today is Saturday, we’re flying tomorrow!”

You instantly put the halfway-eaten sandwich back on the plate, “Go out, I have a lot of work to do!”, you take a sip of milk.

“Hey but why I can’t call you?”. You glare at the phone on the floor, “Dead”, you sigh.

Alicia picks your phone up and then brings the tray out. You’re having a fashion show in France, but you totally forgot about it, because you were playing too much. Alicia is your manager, she organizes all your works, however she doesn’t know much about the “wedding dress” thing. But you said it’s really important, this “Flechazo” collection of you can not have a single mistake.

Alicia sighs, glancing at the closed door of your office. All of a sudden, the front door is opened.

“I come to see Y/N.”, it’s a familiar voice.

—next: chapter four-you’re my first kiss

taglist: @nuoyii @jjikyuu @generantionct @keemburley @skrtbeepbeep @sunshinedhyuck

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florrickandassociates · 3 years

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TGF Thoughts-- 5x07: And the fight had a detente...

This episode is a wild ride, so if you haven’t seen it yet and you aren’t spoiled, don’t read this. Just go watch it.

Ave Maria plays over a photo montage of cancelled men, including Kevin Spacey, Louie CK, and Scott Rudin. (Scott Rudin, if you don’t know the name, is a Broadway/Hollywood producer who treated his assistants like absolute shit. He’s the inspiration for the possessed producer episode of Evil—I think it’s the third episode of the series—and Robert King does not like him one bit.)

And then the episode opens with Wackner, Del, and Cord discussing the Armie Hammer cannibalism ordeal. Whew, this is not what I wanted to be thinking about first thing on a Thursday morning. I do not think I can put into words how boring I find debating whether or not someone should have been “cancelled.” Cancellation is usually about rich people facing consequences for shitty actions, and those consequences have never involved anyone’s rights being infringed upon, so why should I care about someone being cancelled? And, while I know that society/people on Twitter don’t always understand nuance, I’d like to think that when it comes to the most notable examples of cancellation... no one is losing their livelihood over false or minor allegations.

There are so, so, so many issues in the world. Cancellation affects a handful of high profile, usually white, straight, male, celebrities. Why should I give a shit about, like, Louie CK not being able to make as much money as he used to? I just do not and cannot find it interesting.

I’m not surprised David Cord and Del Cooper find this topic interesting—Del likely hates worrying that all of his comedians could get cancelled and put him in a financially tricky spot; Cord probably says things like “Woke Mob” unironically. And as for Wackner, he almost certainly has a skewed understanding of what actually happens when someone’s cancelled and sees a place where he can step in and add some order. Blah. It’s just so boring.

"People are getting canceled without a trial, no evidence presented against them,” Wackner says. This is not it, Wackner! This is such a strawman argument. We don’t need the legal system to adjudicate people being assholes to each other, and in cases where a crime is committed or a particular individual can sue for damages, that is what happens. If you act shitty and then your sponsors realize you’re toxic and drop you, like, it is what it is. You can feel free to respond via a Notes App screenshot where half of your apology is actually just whining about cancel culture and then you say “I’m sorry if anyone took offense at what I did” instead of saying “I’m sorry I said/did hurtful things” and when people don’t take that seriously, maybe it’s because you didn’t take it seriously, either.

“There are a lot of reasons these accusations never go to trial. The victims finally get to accuse the victimizer face to face,” Wackner explains. Were the victims asking for this?

Marissa shares my question, noting that if the victims don’t want to speak up, then the victimizer would have the court to himself. This raises a new question: who is even bringing these cases? Are Wackner, Cord, and Del just deciding they want to do things as cases and then getting everyone else on board? This sounds bad!

Apparently, according to Wackner, “if #MeToo relies on mob rule, it’ll exhaust itself.” What... evidence is there for this? I get why people panic about the POSSIBILITY of this happening, even though I don’t share their panic, but is there any actual evidence that #MeToo is losing steam because of false allegations because cancellation isn’t a formal process? I don’t believe there is.

The test case we have the pleasure of seeing this week is about “Louie CK two,” whom I shall refer to as LCK2 instead of learning his name.

Now, suddenly, Marissa is asking one of LCK2’s victims to testify. She doesn’t want to participate because it’s just another way for LCK2 to get his career back. Marissa decides to be idealistic and say this is a real opportunity to confront LCK2 with his crime. I suppose she isn’t wrong, and that is what happens next, but, again, meh.

Apparently David Cord is going to defend LCK2. You know what would get cancelled in five seconds? A David Cord funded show that has David Cord actually on it, railing against cancel culture! Can you IMAGINE the thinkpieces?

God, when is this episode going to move on from this extremely irritating premise?

Marissa decides she wants to be the prosecutor. Wackner says if she prosecutes LCK2, she has to prosecute the academic who used a word that sounds like the n-word and lost her job for it. Marissa thinks the academic shouldn’t have been fired, but Wackner insists she has to take both cases.

“Let’s go into court,” Wackner says, and, thank goodness, we do go into court: REAL court, where we are talking about REAL issues.

In court, Liz and Diane are suing the police over the death of a black girl who was tased by the police. Her friend is on the stand and it’s quite emotional. Also, Diane tries to pass Liz a note and Liz ignores it. Why would you have two name partners on this case if they aren’t even going to try to work together?

You can tell things are tense between two TGF characters when they talk at the same time in court but are on the same side.

Hiiiiii Abernathy! ILY!

The victim had a heart condition, which the police lawyer argues is the actual cause of death. Police lawyer also argues that since this witness posted some ACAB lyrics on Instagram, she must be biased. Eyeroll.

Liz calls the other lawyer racist; the other lawyer tries to make Liz look like she is only on her client’s side because she’s black and that Liz is being absurd.

Cancel culture court happens. We’re dealing with the academic case first. I don’t feel like talking about the cancel culture shit too much, so here is my take on this case as a whole: (1) I don’t think the actual word in question, which isn’t actually the n-word, is enough on its own to get someone fired (2) I also don’t think anyone can use that word, regardless of its meaning or history, without understanding how it will come across. (3) The teacher did not get fired for simply using this word once (4) This teacher believes that anyone who is from a group that’s been marginalized in history should have to confront that marginalization with as little sympathy and respect as possible because it will help them be more resilient. So basically, if you are from the dominant group then you don’t get challenged. She believes it is her job to do this. She is an egotistical asshole who has no business teaching.

Cord wants everyone to have to say the full word in question. He says this pretentiously (though I don’t think saying “Said word” is that pretentious, tbh) and Wackner rules against him and also makes him wear a powdered wig for using “obtuse language.”

Marissa is not trying at all with this case at first, since she doesn’t believe in it. That’s shitty, Marissa. If you want to be a lawyer at a firm like RL you’re going to have to fight for all of your clients.

Marissa makes a Latin joke and ends up in a powdered wig, too.

The prof says, in one sentence, that she didn’t know what she was doing using the word and also that the black student who took offense thinks college is supposed to be warm, cuddly, and unchallenging. So it was a challenge, then, prof?

I like this student. And I love that she calls Marissa out for obviously not trying.

“The optics matter. Racially,” Diane says to Liz, who agrees. Diane, strategically, makes it about gender first (the cop is male, some jurors may react to a woman questioning a man), then makes it about how she should be the one questioning the cop since Liz is black. It would make the jury more “comfortable” (hey, there’s that word again!) Diane says. She says she is being pragmatic.

Diane says that she could be “more dispassionate”. Be or come across as, Diane? Either way, Liz, who knows full well what the optics look like given that this isn’t her first time in court, doesn’t agree with Diane that they need to come across as dispassionate.

Then Diane just changes the subject to the firm drama. “Liz, you’re shoving me out of my name partner position because of my race.” Like that’s the issue!

“I am doing nothing. You are the one who got our racist clients to whine to STR Laurie about us,” Liz counters. “Those clients bring in a great deal of money, and they are not racists,” Diane insists. Yes. Sure. Diane just happened to choose white male clients who were “comfortable” with her to talk to. I have no doubt they’d have reacted poorly to any change in representation, but Diane was counting on those particular clients having some discomfort with their new lawyers.

Liz calls her out and Diane’s still trying to play it like she just had to inform her long-term clients and it just had to be done this way. But, when Liz asks if Diane thinks the clients would’ve had the same reaction if their new representation were to be white, Diane says that maybe her clients are worried about racial grudges. So, what you’re saying is you knew exactly what you were doing, huh, Diane?

I get why Diane doesn’t like being pushed out, because who would, but Diane, this isn’t about you. And if you didn’t want to make it about race, perhaps you shouldn’t have appeared on a panel about how great it is that your firm is majority black? You can’t have it both ways.

Liz notes that Diane felt “entitled” to her name partnership. This is accurate, though based on revenue and stature I don’t think it can be denied that Diane deserves name partner status (generally speaking). Diane went over to RBK, was like, “sure, I’ll be a junior partner, thank you so much for the opportunity, I can’t even pay my capital contribution right now but what if I were name partner in three months?” and that is both entitlement and knowing one’s own worth, but mostly entitlement.

(Liz does not act entitled, but if we want to get into who deserves their partnership more—again generally speaking, not their partnership at a black firm specifically—it is definitely Diane! Liz literally only has this job because her dad was important.)

“I think that Barbara Kolstad was shoved out because you felt entitled to her position,” Liz shouts. OMG, a mention of Barbara?!?!?!??!?!? THANK YOU, WRITERS!!!

(This is a slight bit of revisionist history but I’ll allow it, and I think it’s right in thought even if it’s not right on the details. Barbara wasn’t shoved out—Barbara chose to go to a different firm that offered her a better deal—but I don’t think Barbara would’ve been on that trajectory had it not been for Diane’s presence at the firm. Barbara was in charge of a firm that shared her values when, suddenly, her partner decided that they needed to pursue profit over all else and needed Diane to execute that strategy. Maybe no one made a move directly against her, but Adrian and Diane changed the mission of RBK until it was no longer somewhere Barbara wanted to work.

“We can’t work together if you don’t respect me,” Diane screams at Liz. “No, we can’t work together if you use race cynically,” Liz responds. Diane gets even angrier, swears a bunch, and then says “You want to come after me, you come after me with an honest argument about my lack of competence, my lack of worth.” Diane, you are fighting a completely different battle here! You can be entitled and also correct and also good at your job. This is what you used to accuse Alicia of all the time. The fact you’ve turned this into something about your skill level when it’s about the meaning of having a black firm is only proving Liz’s point.

“Your unworthiness—which you don’t seem to want to acknowledge—is that you can’t be the top dog in a black firm,” Liz says. Exactly. But Diane just storms off.

Now the cop is on the stand. He did not know the victim had a heart condition. Uh, obviously, why would he have known that?

Liz is aggressive in court; Diane thinks this is the wrong strategy. Without knowing who is on the jury, I have no idea which one of them is correct.

The next move is to get the cop’s ex-wife, who he abused, on the stand.

Goodie, it’s cancel culture court. Things go well for Marissa, but Del wants to know why Marissa wasn’t that passionate about the n-word case. Marissa says she feels like it’s not the n-word, like that is a valid reason to not represent your client to the best of your ability. “It is. It always is,” says Del.

Marissa heads back to RL, and as she walks, the camera follows her and moves through the space until we end up in Liz’s office, where she gets a news alert about the cop from the COTW. He’s been killed, seemingly in retaliation for his actions. The news is quick to suggest the trial might’ve encouraged the killing. “Oh, fuck.” Diane says as she watches the news. Aaaand credits (at 20 minutes in!)

From the promos, I thought this was going to be a Very Serious Episode about police brutality. From the opening, I thought it was going to be an insufferable episode about cancel culture. I was wrong! (Though, I suppose, some of the cancel culture stuff is still insufferable.)

Yay for Carrie Preston, who directed this episode. I read an interview with her and she talked about how there’s a “look book” for directing TGF episodes and I have never wanted to see anything as badly as I want to see this look book. (Am I exaggerating? Probably. But I might not be.)

After credits, Marissa finds Carmen and Jay to ask them if “n-word-ly" is offensive. She acknowledges she’s being annoying but they let her continue anyway. Jay finds it offensive. Carmen does not. This seems fitting with their characters, and I love that this scene acknowledges that not every black person is going to have the exact same reaction to everything.

I want Carmen to have more to do! While I’m glad the show isn’t forcing her to have a large role in every plot just because, I feel like she’s gone missing for the middle part of the season. My guess is that their priority with Carmen is setting her up to be an ongoing part of the cast who grows into being someone we want a lot from rather than forcing her plots from the start... but surely we could get a little more of her! I doubt she’s a one-season character like I assume Wackner will be.

The cop’s murder changes the vibe in court. Abernathy calls a moment of silence in his memory. “We’re fucked,” Liz whispers to Diane.

And indeed they are. The cop’s ex no longer wants to talk about how abusive he was—she wants to talk about how great he was. Whose idea was it to still put her on the stand?! Idk about legal procedures but this seems like a really avoidable mistake!

Diane argues that the cop’s death has prejudiced the jury. Abernathy decides to call a “voir dire de novo,” using an obtuse Latin phrase that would not be permitted in Wackner’s court. (Love the little parallels in this episode, like this, the transition between courts earlier, and how much of Marissa being called out on her whiteness feels like a thematic extension of everything going on with Diane.)

Cancel culture court continues. Carmen shows up.

I don’t really get how June, the victim of LCK2, potentially losing a headlining gig for a bad set instead of retaliation from LCK2, scores him a point. One, if she was a rising store, one bad set shouldn’t have damned her career. Two, isn’t it enough to prove that he masturbated in front of women who didn’t want him to do that???????

Having June perform her act with no prep in Wackner’s court so they can judge whether or not she is funny is a wildly bad idea. So now Wackner is an arbiter of humor as well as cancel culture?

This whole system is silly and I reject the whole premise but June should not lose two points for the logic that Wackner + the audience don’t find June funny --> June must’ve had her career derailed because she just isn’t funny (how’d she book the headliner gig, then?) --> LCK2 scores points??? He still masturbated in front of her without her consent!

Using cancel culture to show Wackner’s court is going too far/slipping into bad territory: I’m on board with this. Using Wackner’s court to actually comment on cancel culture: Ugh. The writers seem to be trying to do both.

Lol at Abernathy having Stacey Abrams’ book on his desk.

Marissa argues the n-word case more passionately, because these writers love to make situations that seemed clear cut seem more uncertain. It’s no coincidence they have the sexual harassment case look murkier (though, again, June being bad at comedy does not negate the sexual harassment!) right before they have the n-work case begin to tilt in favor of the professor’s cancellation.

Hahah what bullshit about trying to prepare the students for a world that won’t be kind to them. Do you seriously think your black students need YOU to prepare them?

This lady thinks history classes have to describe rapes in detail to get students to sympathize. No, no they fucking do not.

She also says she’d use the n-word if she were teaching a topic where it might come up. Um, no?

Mr. Elk (this is what I call Ted Willoughby, Idiot Reporter, after he said “things of that elk” in his first appearance) is attacking Diane and Liz on his show. Diane and Liz are, apparently, “Marxist slip-and-fall lawyers” and Mr. Elk plays a clip of Diane saying cops need to be held accountable. Obviously, this was before the cop’s death and meant to be about the legal system, but it looks like Diane’s calling for his murder. I also love how they go out of their way to only pause the clip on unflattering frames of Diane.

Liz wants to use this in court—I forgot that Liz is super sneaky but this tracks; she is always quick to use things to her advantage and we’ve known that about her since her strategy with the DNC in 2x07 (to make outlandish allegations and then drop them before presenting proof). Julius wants to get Liz and Diane security.

That security is, apparently Jay. I think they’ve shown Jay as security before when Lucca went viral. I didn’t understand it then and I don’t understand it now.

I was, briefly, worried for Liz and Diane’s safety, especially after I saw all the angry cops waiting for them in court. Then I thought, oh, well at least they’re in court, they should be safe from being shot there. Then I remembered 5x15. Then I laughed at myself.

Liz’s new strategy works and Abernathy uses more Latin. But, they can’t get any more jurors thrown. (They’re going for a mistrial.)

Oh, Carmen is back again! She did SO MUCH in that court scene where she appeared and then disappeared! She’s chatting with Marissa and spots LCK2 in the RL offices.

Apparently, LCK2 negotiated a contract with Del, with David Lee’s help. (Why would David Lee be doing entertainment law?) Suddenly everything makes sense to Marissa.

She calls Del to the stand. This—and, honestly, everything after this—makes me wonder how much of this would ever make it to air. Why would Del televise this?

What a shock—Del wants LCK2 back on his streaming service (which I don’t think has a name LOL).

Somehow Marissa’s questions become about Wackner and whether or not Wackner is an impartial judge, which doesn’t seem like the core issue. Wackner has made it pretty clear that his stance is that he doesn’t care if others are corrupt around him or try to use him; he’s going to be impartial no matter what. Why not play that up instead of making the entire show look staged and Wackner look complicit, Marissa?

Like, why is Marissa asking Wackner if he’s prejudged the case?! Why isn’t she just trying to like, get him to declare a mistrial because there is a conflict of interest? She can make a version of this argument without accusing Wackner of PREJUDGING, which she knows—I know, so she knows—will set him off. Wackner truly believe he thinks he is impartial. It’s not smart strategy to question that (even if we all know that Wackner is not impartial!)

Wackner blows up at Marissa and shouts at her. He tells her to get the fuck out of court.

This is certainly dramatic, but again, would Del ever choose to air this? I doubt it.

On her way to work, Diane notices hot pink spray paint in the elevator. When she exits the elevator, the whole firm is gathered in the lobby. Someone has painted COP KILLERS across the elevator bank. “Security doesn’t know how they got in,” Jay says. “Of course they don’t,” Diane responds. “They suggest we call the cops,” Jay says. I love this little exchange. I wasn’t exactly wondering how someone got in, but I like the show making it clear how unprotected Diane and Liz are right now and why.

Julius appears and says that Mr. Elk is saying something new. Diane and Liz sit down to watch and the tone of this episode completely shifts.

I had forgotten completely that Liz’s dad’s assault issues are out in public until Mr. Elk called him “a disgraced civil rights leader.” It doesn’t feel like they’re out in public! Also I would believe Mr. Elk calling him disgraced for no reason at all.

Y’all, when Mr. Elk said the name “Duke Roscoe,” my jaw dropped. WHAT A CALLBACK.

This scene, and really, everything in this plot from here on out, is a delight. It just keeps going and going. It is the best kind of fanservice.

1x11 has been, for no real reason, on my mind since 5x04. It popped out to me as an example of this show’s humor so I talked about it in that recap. I nearly mentioned it in my 5x06 recap when Diane laughed at Julius’s suggestion that they start a firm together. I rewatched 1x11, by complete chance, like two weeks ago. How weird that I'm somehow on the show’s wavelength about this!

Also I made a joke about Mr. Elk last week without knowing he’d be back this episode. I would like to think I conjured this.

(1x11 is a really pivotal episode for TGW, even if it isn’t one of the most notable episodes overall. It's composer David Buckley’s first episode and that ending, with Diane laughing, is one of the earliest moments of TGW showing its sense of humor and playing to its strengths.)

Mr. Elk notes that they “rarely see” Kurt, which is apparently evidence that Diane is a lesbian. Hahahahahahah. Mr. Elk also wouldn’t want to note Kurt, despite his recent controversy, because to his viewers, Kurt’s beliefs would make Diane seem more sympathetic.

GUYS, THE WRITERS DECIDED TO MAKE A CALLBACK TO AN ICONIC MOMENT FROM AN EPISODE THAT AIRED OVER A DECADE AGO AND THEN BUILD ON IT. I cannot express how fucking happy this makes me.

Now, Mr. Elk says, Diane and Liz are an item!

What’s better than Diane laughing hysterically at the original allegations? Diane doing it again, eleven years later, JOINED BY LIZ.

This also works super well to cut the tension between Diane and Liz. I assume this isn’t the end of the name partnership drama, but I think it might be the end of Diane and Liz being pissed at each other. Since the name partnership drama was never really about Diane and Liz (Liz seems to want Diane to stay on...), I’m fine with that.

Because this is an episode full of callbacks that delight me, Del asks Liz when he gets to meet her son! HER SON STILL EXISTS!

It sounds like Liz and Del still aren’t fully official, which clarifies why they don’t seem to be a couple in public.

Del brings up the Diane rumor (jokingly) and Liz jokes along. I love that we get to see this playful side of Liz.

Wackner’s watching his outburst with regret. Del calms him down and notes that this is good TV (why... would Del air this... it makes DEL look worse than anyone!). Wackner calls Marissa to apologize; she picks up and accepts his apology.

Abernathy calls Liz and Diane into chambers. He’s worried he was “insensitive”-- he's noticed the tension between Liz and Diane, but now he thinks it was a lover’s spat.

Diane puts on a poker face and leans in towards Liz. She starts nodding attentively and thanks Abernathy. Liz smiles and doubles down: she’s not just going to play along, she’s going to milk it. She gets a juror kicked for homophobia, which means a mistrial. Shameless. I love it.

Diane and Liz playing off each other as Abernathy tries to look like as much of an ally as possible is comedy gold.

Diane even calls Liz darling. Omg.

LCK2 is on the stand, being charismatic and annoying. Of course he is. This is what happens when you give someone who is known for being able to connect with a crowd... a crowd and the benefit of the doubt.

LCK2 is talking about “stupid women” in his new set. Why... is Del giving that a platform at all? See, the fact that Del thinks it is not only interesting but also somehow essential to let LCK2 make jokes about sexual harassment is why I can’t take this episode seriously. Why should I be more outraged about someone who did something shitty not getting a trial for his shitty but legal behavior than I am about powerful people continuing to offer shitty people platforms? Only one of these seems outrageous to me.

Wackner decides that the professor did something “awful but lawful” and that’s it. So you’re saying that if it isn’t illegal, it doesn’t get decided in your court, either? What was the point of this, then?

The professor says she doesn’t want that—she wants the school to know she’s being punished so she can get her job back. The student storms out, rightfully. Wackner’s job isn’t to offer someone who wants punishment some form of penance, like she can exchange community service hours for offensive remarks. It’s to... well, idk what it is to do, since this whole thing doesn’t really make sense and he makes the rules, but I don’t think his verdict has to be about giving anyone what they want. I’m disappointed that Wackner comes up with a punishment and I don’t think it’s going to get her her job back.

LCK2 loses, too, because he hasn’t made amends. Wackner doesn’t want to fine him because he’s too rich for a fine to matter. Cord argues that LCK2 deserves a second chance. I mean, sure, but is he being denied a second chance? He doesn’t deserve an easy path back to his fame just because he wants it.

Wackner mentions prison. At first I was like, oh, that’s a nice throwaway line that he mentioned prison! This ties into what I was saying a few weeks ago about how Wackner likes the institutions that already exist—he just thinks they’re imperfect! It’s fitting that he’s not a prison abolitionist!

And then the episode actually went there: Wackner, thanks to David Cord’s private prison company, actually sentences LCK2 to prison. This is deeply uncomfortable (and of questionable legality). Wackner’s system is just going to recreate prison? Worse, private prison? He’s creating an unchecked, privatized legal system?! This sounds bad! Kudos to the show for taking this to some place so dark—I knew Wackner’s system would start to show cracks, but I didn’t realize they’d go this far.

And I’m not sure what the end game is with this! All I know is I’m not on board with Wackner sending people to prison (except as a plot—I am very on board with this plot) and neither is Marissa.

I do not think viewers of the reality show will like the prison twist or the fact that Cord is financing a court and prison! Can you imagine the scandal!

And what do the contracts look like that allow Wackner to sentence someone to prison? Can LCK2 leave any time he wants? If so, then how does the prison sentence help? If not, is that legal?

Del wants it to be a 2 week sentence, not 3, because this means LCK2 will have to miss his taping in two weeks. I have many questions. (1) Is Wackner’s show airing live? If not, then why do they need to rush the taping of the special? They could push it quite easily. (2) Why can’t they push the taping? This guy is a huge deal and enough potential $$ that Del wants to rehabilitate his career... so why does the taping have to be on this particular day and time?

Is there really an Exxon Mobile case, I wonder?

I like that we spend a good amount of time watching Marissa’s reactions to this latest addition to Wackner’s court. Combined with the score, Marissa’s facial expression serves to underline that private prisons are not good here! This isn’t Wackner getting legitimate methods of enforcement... this is just opening a pandora’s box of highly questionable extrajudicial practices.

I do love that this episode ends up here: it starts out like it’s going to be about cancel culture silliness and ends up being about the escalation of Wackner’s tactics.

Funny how both of the cancelled people end up being found guilty by Wackner, huh! Almost like they actually did something wrong and faced the consequences!

Liz and Diane get called in to talk to Liz’s favorite department: HR. They’re asked to sign “love contracts” to confirm things are consensual. I find it hilarious that HR gives them the paper before even asking if it’s true.

Liz grabs a pen and signs. Diane follows her lead. They look at each other and smile politely at HR.

I am... not sure how to read this last scene! Is it a fuck-you to HR? A way of easing tensions? A way for Liz to get people to stop talking to her about removing Diane as name partner because no one will want to ask if they’re really involved? Something else? Help me understand!

Curious to see where things go next. I can see LCK2 coming back for another episode but it also wouldn’t surprise me to never see him again. Similarly, I could see some glances/discussion of Diane and Liz’s romantic relationship next week, or I could see it never being mentioned again, or I could see it being mentioned next season out of the blue.

#tgf thoughts #the good fight

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crispy-chan · 3 years

Text

carriwitchet ch.5

pairing | han jisung x reader, 3racha x reader genre/warnings | fluff, angst, high school au, slow burn, friends to lovers, love square word count | 3k a/n | sorry for the long wait. I really have to be in the right headspace for thsi series but i'll try my best to update it more often from now on. also - this chapter is a lil bit sadder than usual. enjoy <3

my masterlist

CHAPTER 5

“Hello there N/n,” Changbin beamed as he ran towards you. (I trolled you all kekeke)

“Oh hi Bin,” you waved at him, as he tackled you into a bear hug. This wasn't unusual in your relationship, the both of you being quite affectionate people. However, the hug was getting a little too long, even for a person like you.

“Ugh, let go. I can’t breathe,” you groaned, patting his back.

After he finally let go of you, you got to have a proper look at him. He definitely dressed up for the occasion. He sported a crisp white button-down (that outlined his toned biceps) tucked into black ripped jeans and topped off the look with his signature high-end cap. Overall, he looked pretty damn handsome. Suddenly, you felt a bit underdressed in your cardigan.

Changbin turned around to find you staring. “Whatcha looking at?” he smirked cheekily.

You immediately blushed and swatted him away, turning around to pretend you were looking at the movie options. It was a stupid move since you guys have already agreed on the movie, but Changbin was thoughtful enough not to call you out on your bullshit.

He must have sensed your discomfort though, because he leaned in and whispered in your ear, “you look really pretty today.”

You felt shivers run down your spine as he said that and felt a soft blush stain your cheeks. You pushed that thought out of your mind, focusing on securing a spot in the line so you could purchase your tickets.

Changbin looked amused at your antics but gracefully decided to drop it. Both of you approached the counter and asked for the tickets. You agreed on two back-row middle seats but argued for a while on who should pay.

“Stop being ridiculous Y/n, I'm taking you to the movies for your birthday so you're not gonna pay.”

“Oh come on, I can just pay for my own ticket,” you tried to protest but Changbin was already swiping his card on the terminal.

“No. I'm paying and that's final.”

You wanted to further object but decided to drop it at the unamused expression of the part-timer behind the counter. You didn't want to be kicked out after all and the annoyed whispers of the people behind you led you to simply drop it.

You reached the minibar and started to roam over the menu.

“Do you want to buy popcorn?” Changbin inquired, smiling at your apparent excitement.

“Of course. What's going to the movies without having popcorn?” you laughed as you stuck your hand in your pocket, struggling to pull out your wallet.

Changbin frowned at that, not liking that you wouldn't just let him pay so he put his hand over yours, halting your movements.

“Come on,” he whined, “just let me pay, ok? I invited you as a birthday present so the least I can do is actually pay for it.”

You groaned at that but finally agreed, albeit begrudgingly. Whiny Changbin was actually pretty cute.

Wait for what?

“Fine but I'm paying next time, ok?”

Changbin just shot you a wink and a sing-songy “maybe,” as he went up to the counter and ordered one extra-large popcorn and two medium sodas.

He pulled out his wallet and took out his credit card before swiping it over the terminal. Damn, why did guys always look ten times more attractive when paying by card? That must have been surely the mystery of the century. After grabbing the order, he pulled you in the direction of where your movie was being played.

“So, are you scared?” he teased.

“Oh shut up Bin! I'm sure it can't be that bad, right?”

“Well good thing you've got me to protect you,” he chortled.

“In your dreams.”

“Which seats do we have again?” you asked while climbing up the stairs.

“Twenty-seven and eight,” he read from the tickets.

You finally got to your seats, placing the popcorn on the floor for a moment before shuffling around to sit properly, lifting the popcorn from the floor, and placing the sodas in the cup holders on the armrests.

“Don't forget to turn off your phone,” you reminded Changbin while pulling out your own to not disturb anyone.

“Your right, thanks.”

The lights in the room slowly dimmed as all the ads started to run. After about ten minutes, you were feeling a little tired as you absentmindedly leaned your head on Changbin's shoulder. The boy was startled at first but cracked a smile at your zoned-out expression. When the movie started, he gave you a light nudge to get you to focus on the screen.

You whipped your head up in surprise, your cheeks heating up at you slip up as you quickly sat back, eyes directly on the movie. Changbin internally chuckled at your flustered state, redirecting his gaze at the screen too.

The movie was actually quite interesting, save for the occasional jumpscares that scared the shorts out of you. During one of the scenes, you could tell that the main character was walking straight into a trap and you really didn't want to witness it.

“Oh god, why is he going there?” you whined, “isn't it obvious that she's there and that she'll kill him.”

You couldn't stand it anymore, almost launching yourself onto Changbin's lap (while doing some gymnastics to get around the armrest in between you) as you pressed your head into his chest to drown out the movie completely.

“Why did I even agree to this in the first place?” you moaned, “I should have said no.”

Changbin had a hard time suppressing his chuckles at your adorableness. He'd never tell you this but he was actually glad whenever you snuggled up to him. At this rate, he was afraid though that the movie might be too much for you so he slightly nudged your shoulder.

“What?” you whispered, looking up at him with those big eyes. “Just that, you know - if it's too much, we can leave and go get ice cream or something,” he muttered, his palm going to brush some stray locks of your hair behind your ear.

You felt your heart skip a few beats at the gesture, choosing to snuggle back into his arm to avoid his intense gaze.

“I'm fine Bin, sorry for… sorry for acting like this. I should be fine now,” you smiled, moving away from him and sitting back in your seat. Embarrassment started to creep on you with how you just behaved. You hoped that Changbin didn't think you were too weird after this.

The rest of the movie went rather smoothly, none of the jump scares being nearly as frightening as the previous one. Changbin still did reach out to hold your hand whenever he sensed something even mildly alarming.

When the final credits rolled, the both of you started to pick up your stuff, heading out of the dim room while chatting about the movie.

“Look, I'm sorry for all that,” you started nervously, “but please don't tell anyone. I'd never live it down if they catch wind of it.”

He smirked at the display of you begging him like that but after seeing how worried you were, he decided to drop it.

“Don't worry N/n, I won't tell anybody. Besides, why would I share something as cute with the rest? This is now a thing between you and me only,” he smirked.

“Okok, that's enough,” you said firmly, not wanting to talk about it anymore, “let's go get something to eat.”

------

You entered the cozy cafe and took a seat near the window in a quiet corner. You scanned the menu, getting a little too immersed in choosing what you want as you completely zoned out when the waiter came to take your order.

“N/n,” Changbin flicked your forehead lightly to bring you back to earth. “What do you want to order?” he asked, pointing to the waiting part-timer who was slowly losing his patience.

“Oh. sorry, I'll have the latte and a matcha pudding, please,” you murmured, hoping the boy heard you. Luckily, he did as he scribbled down your order and briskly walked away.

You sighed, hating yourself for spacing out like that and making a fool of yourself. You were zoning out all day and you didn't know why. Maybe it was because of the movie - you were quite scared after all, no point denying that but you had this underlining feeling.

After finishing your drinks, Changbin walked you to the bus stop (insisting it was late already, and you shouldn't walk alone) and thanked you for coming with him.

“Seriously. Bin, stop,” you chuckled, “why are you thanking me? I should be thanking you. It was lovely, I didn't realize I needed this but I actually really did. I had lots of fun, and I hope you too.”

“Of course I had fun N/n. As long as I'm with you, I’ll always have fun,” he patted your head with a wink, shooting you the finger guns as he walked away.

You were still laughing about it as you got on the bus, his corniness proving to be really funny as always. You realized you actually missed some of his stupid jokes, the momentary separation between you two suddenly seeming way pettier.

You softly hummed the melody of For You. Again. But you just couldn't help it, the song had such a calming effect on you. It was your go-to song when you were stressed, anxious, or overwhelmed with school. And hey, who knows? Maybe there really are blessings waiting for you.

Getting off the bus, you walked the short walk home and rummaged for your keys. After stepping in, you made your way to the bathroom. You jumped in the shower, feeling ready to wash off all the sweat and lather yourself in that coconut body lotion.

------

On Monday morning, you walked into the school building, exhausted from just going up the few steps. You didn't get much sleep last night, opting for preparing for that chemistry exam even though it was on Thursday.

You see, chemistry was never exactly your forte. That's why you had mad respect for everybody that understood it, which was unironically about half of your friend group. Felix and Jisung were absolute chem and bio whizzes, making you wonder if they ate workbooks for breakfast. On top of that, Iris was also quite good which left only you, Mei, and sometimes Changbin to stick together

It was quite painful watching everyone understand the lecture and later not study at all, only for them to get a better grade than you, who had studied for three hours every day a week before the exam. You learned to suppress those feelings, not wanting to come off as rude, it wasn't their fault after all that you just couldn't beat those damn formulas into your head.

Chemistry today was especially hard, the teacher dividing you into pairs and handing you worksheets to complete with your partner.

You were paired up with Changbin, who usually fared better than you but today, he was none the wiser.

“God damn, I have no clue how to do this,” he cursed under his breath, scanning the handout with visible distaste.

You laughed at his antics, going through your backpack to find your notebook. “Neither do I but I think we should manage with the help of my notes.”

“Yeah, your notes are a literal lifesaver, thanks.”

You plopped the notebook on the desk, opening it and turning the pages to find the needed material.

With the help of your trusty notes, the two of you managed to complete the paper, even finishing before the bell rung and giving you some time to chat.

You left the classroom with a smile, feeling like you probably won't fail the next exam.

If you just put enough time into preparation, you could maybe even scrape an A. Today was Monday - that meant that you still had three days left to prepare. You studied for three hours yesterday, familiarizing yourself with the theoretical part of the topic. Now all that was left was to not forget it and go through the formulas to make sure you could build the proper equations.

Let's say you could cram in about two and a half hours of studying every day until Thursday. With that much dedication, you could likely do pretty well. While you were counting in your head and mentally planning out study sessions, Jisung ran up to you from behind and scared the shorts out of you.

“Wassup, N/n. Wanna hang out?” he put his arm around your shoulder and playfully nudged your side.

“No Jisung,” you threw his arm off, speeding in the direction of your locker, “sorry but not this week.”

When you saw his pouty face, you patted his hair and added, “the chemistry exam. I need to study as much as I can.”

“How come you didn't ask for help? I can tutor you if you want, I know how you despise chemistry.”

“Thanks for the offer, but I'll have to decline, Sung. I want to manage on my own.”

“I see,” he murmured, “that sounds a lot like you, actually,” he crinkled his nose and laughed. “See you tomorrow then.”

“Bye,” you waved at his retreating figure. Maybe you should have taken up on his offer. He was really good at chemistry, after all. You blinked, thinking about what would happen if you agreed, wouldn't do you any good. Plus, Jisung was a busy guy, he had a lot of things on his mind and you didn't want to bother him so it was better you declined.

You trudged your way home, entering your room and slamming the door shut. It was going to be a long day. Opening your notebook with a sigh, you started to go over the stuff for the n-th time. Oh, how you wished you were good at science. The stuff just didn't come easily to you and you had no idea why. You tried everything! All the methods there were but you could just never figure it out until you studied for hours. Maybe that's what you needed to do? Just suck it up and study some more.

You were about to just do that but the sudden clang made you put down your notes for a second. And then you heard it. The beginnings of a loud argument that brewed between your parents almost every day. They always fought over the pettiest things like who put the dishes in the wrong place in the dishwasher? Who left their cup on the table? Where was the remote?

Whenever you heard someone raise their voice, you could feel your thoughts spiral down the deep end. It was like this trigger that sent your thoughts to this dark place. Blocking out the noise, you picked up your notebook and tried to concentrate on studying as to distract yourself. That's something you really needed at the moment.

At ten pm, you decided you had enough. Standing up to stretch your sore limbs, you threw on a pair of leggings and a t-shirt, not even bothering to brush your teeth as you made a dive for your bed.

It was a dreamless night.

------

The next morning, you practically moved on autopilot. Pulling on your clothes and shoving breakfast down your throat, you left the house without even bidding your parents goodbye. You ran to the bus stop and pulled out your headphones to listen to some music.

“Yeah I know, we know If it's you, you can do it, ayy Don't give up, oh no You persevered up until now What's the worry? Believe in yourself”

That helped a lot. It calmed your racing heart and gave you hope. You struggled with some pretty harsh thoughts and just bottled it up because you didn't feel like you had anyone to talk to. Listening to their songs provided at least a little comfort and let you somehow channel this stuff out of your system.

------

The day at school was pretty uneventful, you were only assigned an English essay and a few math equations. Nothing you couldn't handle.

It must have shown that you didn't sleep too well, many of your friends asking if you were okay at the sight of the black circles under your eyes. You bit back a sob and tried to patiently assure them with a fake smile that everything was indeed okay. That you just binged a Netflix show till four am and were tired.

They all bought it.

Except for Jisung.

He watched you like a hawk for the entire day, being extra kind and doing little things for you here and there to better your mood. You appreciated his efforts, you really did but no amount of candies and encouraging little notes would make you forget the upcoming exam as well as the stress piling up on your shoulders.

After class, you skipped lunch and went straight to your locker so you could leave as soon as possible without anyone noticing you.

“Oh hey, Y/n. Wanna grab lunch together?” Changbin smiled at you before bending down to tie his shoelaces.

Shoot. You completely forgot that Changbin didn't have lunch in the canteen on Tuesdays. You racked your brain for possible excuses, before eventually settling on the lamest one.

“Sorry, I have to study for chem. I'll probably just get something to go near my place.”

With an apologetic expression, you backed out of the hall, and almost ran to the exit with a quiet “bye” thrown in the confused boy's direction.

You ran down the cobblestone path, ignoring the grumbling of your stomach. When you told Changbin you'd get something near your place, you were lying. You figured there wasn't time to spare and you planned to invest every second possible into preparing for the exam. You knew it was wrong, to skip meals and lock yourself in your room for hours but you didn't know any better. Every time, you told yourself it was the last time you'd pull a stunt like that but as they say...old habits die hard.

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feifiefofum · 3 years

Text

the intelligence problem

i naively used to believe that most people are generally as smart or smarter than myself in general. humans, amirite, we made the internet, we have search engines! we gotta be some kind of intelligent.

so i thought i could blithely repeat jokes with a certain understanding that me and my audience could recognize what’s a joke/sarcasm and what’s info sharing. what’s ironic, what’s real. y’know, nightblogging vs infodumping.

this whole setup was completely lampooned by a hyouka fanfic, where the takes were so bad, i could hardly believe that anyone could just write something like that unironically.

okay, the plot and characters of hyouka is very tame and low stakes. but if you read further, here there be spoilers.

houtarou oreki is low energy high school student whose catchphrase is ‘if i don’t have to do it, i won’t, if i have to do it i’d do it as efficiently and quickly as possible’. he meets a girl, chitanda eru, who he, for some reason, can not say no to any of her requests.

the audience, and his friends in show, call him on this, but our mc-kun is too dumb to realize that he’s got a crush on fl-chan. everything that happens in the show happens because of this budding romance that mc-kun is too thick to realize is happening and it’s absolutely adorable to watch because he’s utterly baffled by how he can’t say no to any of her requests.

in like, the second episode, he realizes this and hatches a ridiculous plan to distract fl-chan and compromise with his low-energy, low-effort lifestyle.

in said same episode, his best bud calls him out for making a dumb plan to conserve energy while still showing off for fl-chan.

the premise is spelled out in conversational text and artistic license, this anime is awesome and you should watch it if you haven’t yet.

point is, this show pretty much barfed out the premise of the show to you within the first 2 episodes and yet!!! and yet!!!

i’ve encountered fanfic of the show where chitanda eru is somehow this evil, conniving temptress that pulls oreki, unwillingly out of his solitude and isolation and being ‘above it all’-ness. or worse yet, that she somehow didn’t know she was being an evil bitch dragging our poor ml-kun willy-nilly without his consent.

completely forgetting the part where chitanda eru always asks him for a favor and houtarou oreki has every opportunity to say no but doesn’t.

that’s where his befuddlement comes from!! this is why he’s completely confused by her!!! he has little to no reason to entertain her requests, it’s remarked upon by both him and his best friend!!! he doesn’t get why he wants to impress and hang around with this girl.but everyone else does, that’s the joke on above it all mc-kun.

but there i am, on ao3, to see plot summaries that portray oreki as some hapless MC(tm) that’s constantly waylaid and bewiled by the evil witch chitanda eru, completely unironically. the charm of fl-chan, in show, is that she’s kind, innocent, and lives a life where her path in life has been laid out before her, brick by brick, generation by generation. she’s a wealthy heiress, not in the sense that her family is some obscure the billionaire tech ceo, she’s the heiress of billionaire farming family, where generations of wealth were built up co-dependently and symbiotically. sure, her family sits at the top of the wealth pile, but if she doesn’t inherit, her community would have a giant, gaping, void of both wealth and power that would be filled in with someone less aware of the needs and wants of her ‘people’.

she doesn’t get to be an idle dreamer about becoming a popstar, or a computer engineer. she’s going into agriculture, and eventually leading the family business. a very lucrative business, yes, but she didn’t get to choose it.

so there are some gaps to her experiences in life. everything about her is oriented around farming and food, which is why she becomes curious about a lot of mundane things.

which is why her catchphrase is ‘i’m curious!’ and oreki sighs and has to explain the thing.

but some people could watch this show, which spells all of these things out for them on screen and unironically come to the conclusion that chitanda eru, one of the cutest anime girls in existence, is some kinda conniving evil villainess ruining our poor edgy boy’s solitude.

oreki’s solitude is portrayed in a favourable light. his intelligence, yes. his efficiency, yes. his solitude and disinterest in life? an absolute no. his best friend calls him on it highlighting how oreki’s disinterest in life affected his own worldview and crippling his confidence. his sister, who pretty much incites his meeting with chitanda, calls him on it by pushing him out the door, constantly.

humans are, by nature, lazy. the crazy innovations we’ve come up with throughout history? motivated by laziness. farming? lazy food acquisition. but the other half of human history is about human socialization. sports? humans socializing.humanity is constantly pulled forward by two factors- being lazy and socializing.

and our boy oreki has strayed into apathy which is called out by the narrative, everywhere, constantly and grows out of it by expressing a desire for something. by being motivated. by having a motive.

that’s the story. all of hyouka was calling out laziness and giving our boy some pep in his step and somehow people unironically call chitanda eru a bitch for pulling him into human society.

make it make sense.

i thought the this show could not have spelled it out anymore explicitly. the premise of their relationship was introduced in the first two episodes. hell, the ops for the show pretty explicitly give you the gosh darned thesis statement of the whole show to you whole cloth, and yet!!!

there’s fanfiction that unironically casts chitanda eru as some evil conniving bitch for saving oreki from his miserable life of loneliness.

oh, i’m sorry, ruining his life of self-isolation.

just completely forgetting that he had every opportunity to say no to her at every turn.

it’s at this point where i have to come to the conclusion that, damn, human intelligence can not be trusted. the theme of show is all but pounded into your head everytime you watch the opening credits and you still whiff on the author’s intent. sometimes, people can not be trusted to kill the author, because those dumb enough to pick up the knife have shit for brains.

and no, i’m not over reacting to some au fanfic. that was the premise, the chitanda ruined his life, because, he chose to hang out with her, and answer her questions when she asks them instead of shrugging and saying ‘i dunno’ like a true lazy person, he chooses to wrack his brain, go all sherlock holmes and agatha christie on the most inconsequential of trivia because he can’t tell a cute girl no. but it’s that bitch’s fault, somehow, for asking a question.

#hyouka #human intelligence #less confident on the intelligence thing than ever #point of this being that i need to reblog with tags to explain the joke #which sucks because the joke only works with a common understanding #but apparently we can't all be trusted to understand some basic stuff #which is disheartening #and disappointing #ugh #houtarou oreki #chitanda eru

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curiosity-killed · 3 years

Note

Hi....If you don't mind me asking, who are your favorite MXTX characters (top 5 from each novel)? And why? I'm sorry if you've answered this question before.

Aw of course I don’t mind! Though I feel like my answer is going to be a disaster bc I love these casts so so much aha let’s see:

✨ SPOILERS AHEAD ✨

MDZS/CQL

1. Wei Wuxian

Ah so I feel like this is obvious based on the sheer quantity of things I produce and the effort I put into hurting him 😅 but yeah! I love how much of a classical tragic hero he is and I love how much love he has and how that gets twisted around and shaped into a collar of spikes around his own neck. I saw gif sets of wwx before I ever knew about CQL and my reaction was “fuck. I’m going to love him” and I do! And I love that he does learn from his past and I love most of all that he learns to accept the love he is given and is able to make a happy ending in a place of being loved and held in respect and appreciation

2. Wen Qing

On the other hand, I did not expect to be like “mine now” with Wen Qing. Don’t get me wrong, the sexy immortal look got me but it wasn’t really till I started writing fic that I was like ohhhhh Oh Boy. Wen Qing is brilliant and ruthless, fiercely loving and aloof and cold. I love that she gets the lose-lose challenge of balancing what is right for her family vs what is right in the world, what she owes to her sect and what she owes to individuals. The golden core transfer is my favorite dubious science experiment in p much all media I’ve consumed. She gets to be so human—prickly and tough and also achingly gentle and afraid and putting on a tough face and sometimes still crying. “I’m sorry and thank you” ! Im!!

3. Jiang Yanli

The first fic I wrote for this fandom was literally “Jiang Yanli died no she didn’t” lmao I do feel like I underserve Jiang Yanli in that I often fall prey to using her to further the complexity that the male characters are permitted while denying her the chance to be given the same space for development and breath — something to work on! But in that, I really genuinely love how tightly she binds herself to her family and how she tries so hard to be what others need her to be—and then she does make a choice for herself and for a single moment at least, she gets to be loved and to be happy and to have this, a husband and a son and a place, for herself. And terribly I love how much she permeates the story still after death. She is the unspoken voice, the face turned from the camera but always still present, carried in the hearts and names and memories of the ones left behind

She deserved better but—I am weak for the tragedy of it all

4. Jiang Cheng

Another surprise (tho hardly surprising in hindsight): Jiang Cheng is just...horribly understandable. He makes terrible choices and his greatest heroism is undone by a choice made for him or, in the case of “killing the Yiling Laozu” is a lie. He is such a youngest sibling who doesn’t want to be the youngest until all at once, he’s the one in charge and he doesn’t want it at all. He is full of anger and hurt and so much love he doesn’t know what to do with it, doesn’t want it anymore, has no place to put all of its terrible, overwhelming flood.

5. Lan Wangji

I almost didn’t put Lan Wangji or Jiang Cheng on here and then I realized that this is sort of a list of characters I’m pickiest about in fic and...yeah. I think what I love best about Lan Wangji is his journey of grief and healing and through that, his decision to step into world. Where Wei Wuxian’s decision to travel and be removed from the cultivation world (in varying degrees depending on your headcanon preference lol) is really, really important to me, Lan Wangji’s decision to go from being an isolated lone agent working apart from the systems of the world to being involved and invested in changing those systems and working to make them better is also really important to me. I’ve talked before about how relatable Lan Wangji is to me (esp with regards to our interaction with the outer world) and there is something deeply hopeful and comforting about post-timeskip Lan Wangji being in his like mid-/late-30s and still making decisions and growing and changing and choosing to invest himself in the world and the future

yeah. i have thoughts here that I don’t really have the maturity, life experience, or articulation to put into words but Lan Zhan Good basically

TGCF

1. Xie Lian

suuuurpriiiiise!! Yeah honestly mxtx’s mains in TGCF and MDZS really just hit all my buttons basically. What appeals to me most of all about Xie Lian is, fittingly, how he is humanity taken to extremes. His capacity for incredible kindness and compassion is equaled with his capacity for cruelness and ruthlessness. His heaven-shaking highs are matched with calamitous lows. He is the hyperbolic of what it is to be human—and he is also the small moments, the wildflowers and the maple leaves and the mundane chores and the comfort of whispered conversations late into the night. I could quite literally go on for pages about what I love about Xie Lian but I am not Hua Cheng and can restrain myself LMAO

2. Hua Cheng

of all the characters on these lists, Hua Cheng is the one I’m pickiest about tbh! When I say I love him for similar reasons as Xie Lian I don’t actually mean this as being similarities between the two but the fact that both of them so richly convey mxtx’s points about the nature of humanity and what it is to be human. Hua Cheng is both the boldest and most arrogant of all and also the most vulnerable, the one who shies away from the truth because he’s braced for it to hurt and isn’t sure he can take it. He is gory blood rain and an umbrella to shelter a fragile bloom; he is a blade whose wounds only heal if he permits it and he is a sacrifice that he brushes aside as a fit of madness. *pats his head* this boy can fit SO MUCH inside him that he refuses to acknowledge

3. Jun Wu

Definitely my favorite antagonist in recent reading. I was doubtful of him from the start (something something issues with authority something something probably should talk to my theoretical future therapist shhh) but the unfolding of his reveal was so delightfully painful and exquisite that I was like “YES!!!” reading all of it. About the epitome of a satisfying plot twist imo. But about the character himself, I love how he parallels so many — Xie Lian in his rise and fall, his glory and disgrace; Hua Cheng in his fixation and ruthlessness; He Xuan in losing himself to the plot and not knowing how to move forward. I love that he feels beyond human in a way the others don’t—he’s so old and has gone through so much and he doesn’t feel things the way humans do anymore, doesn’t remember right how love squeezes the heart or how hate can exist without acting on it. I love that he thinks he knows how to control everyone and that it’s such mundane things that fool him: Xie Lian’s absurd stubbornness, Hua Cheng’s foolish faith, Yin Yu’s...emotional maturity??? Not Sure how to verbalize that one. But in the end, he is defeated by both the humanity of others and by his own—he’s so tired. He’s exhausted in a way that gods and ghosts aren’t meant to be. He is, under the armor and the masks, the curses and the power, human—benevolent and cruel, evil and good.

4. He Xuan

I love my fish man! No but really I love how He Xuan is so fixed on his one goal that he refuses to acknowledge anything else in his (after)life—which doesn’t make it go away. I love that he is left unmoored, purposeless through the very act of completing that which gives him purpose. I love his long con and the ways he clings to himself but loses himself not in the act but in the telling himself it’s an act. I love that he tries to be a moral man and then becomes a ghost king, a calamity. His reveal is also terribly badass and I do love his bone fish wholly unironically. Like I’m not going to get a He Xuan tattoo (for one thing I’ve been meaning to get a tattoo for 5 years and still haven’t gotten around to it) but also. B o n e f i s h

5. Mu Qing

Of course! The Jiang Cheng of tgcf lol Mu Qing (which my phone desperately wants to autocorrect to my Qing) is so...gah he’s such a mess! And he so fully commits to the belief that no one will ever see and understand him as he is but will always view them through their own convictions about him and his actions — which is simultaneously heartbreakingly lonely and also. Sir You Are a Clown. I genuinely think he’s owed apologies from both Feng Xin and Xie Lian for their treatment and assumptions of him and think that he would be HORRIBLY offended at the thought (while secretly touched? But like secretly even to himself). He will never explain himself and will just clam up tighter the more people accuse him and it’s such a self-sabotaging behavior and also so horribly relatable. I love u sir, you’re a disaster

SVSS I have not read but I do really like the moshang art 😂

#long post #asked & answered #lol sorry this is so long and incoherent #the truth is that I really love these stories and their casts #and I think it’s v hard to extricate the characters from the cast #because they are so deftly and beautifully interwoven #but here are the characters I think are my favorites lol #loosely in order #tgcf spoilers #also this is why I prefer tgcf to mdzs tbh?#jgy is intellectually interesting to me and a good antagonist #but not personally compelling in the way jw is

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mimik-u · 3 years

Text

Fragments III, 1-100

300 drabbles about Steven Universe/Future, 100 words each! These are the first 100 prompts and writer’s choices that have been fulfilled.

Asterisks are placed next to my personal favorites that I’ve written.

Baggage* — Steven meets his new therapist!

Eternity —How about a Bellow interaction you've always wanted to see in canon but didn't get to?

Foe —Jasper is simultaneously satisfied and yet left deeply empty inside by her self-isolation on Earth, and doesn't understand how to even begin to process this dichotomy. (So she doesn’t.)

Letter — Young Greg's POV when he wrote those letters to his parents Steven found on Mr. Universe episode.

Sword —Connie interacting with someone she doesn't usually talk to by herself (ex Jasper, Bismuth, Lapis, etc.).

Reconciliation — Idk about you but I wanna see more Mega Pearl. The others have not met Mega Pearl.

Marks —How about... Spinel, and the tiny, everyday baby steps towards healing?

Tangled — Peridot finds out/is told about PD/RQ? (And is confirmed in her guess that Pearl is fancy...?)

Challenge* — How is Steven’s TubeTube channel doing?

Bruises — Priyanka tends to Connie's wounds after training sessions with Pearl. [Writer’s Choice]

Rest* — Yellow Diamond gets to relax. (She's the one who most expresses regret and real understanding. Let her take a nap! She deserves it!)

Barbecue* — Post-movie, during cleanup, Steven and Lars talk and plan the BBQ we got a glimpse at during the final song.

Ghost — Yellowtail and Greg talk about fatherhood and how it can be ruined (mentioning Marty and Greg's father subtly).

UNO* — Date between Pearls (platonic or otherwise).

Height — The pebbles!!! They're so small???? Where are they? *Sobs, points at the Heaven and Earth Beetles.*

Embrace — Steven gets a well-deserved cuddle pile from family and friends.

Constructs — Bismuth and Peridot have a lot more in common than they think.

Horns — Amethyst makes an unexpected new friend at Little Homeschool. (Whichever other character you feel would fit best!)

Garden — Pre-show scene. While having a funny chat, Greg mentions something that reminds Rose about her abandoning Spinel, which makes her regret more of her choices.

Advice — Garnet can tell when Stevonnie has a lot on their mind. [Writer’s Choice.]

Hum — Yellow and her relationship with music.

Love* — Pearl considering her romantic feelings towards someone and thinking about how she's finally moving on from Rose. (Doesn't mean she'll ever forget her.)

Kid — A glimpse into “Sadie Killer.” Maybe when they played their first show, while Steven was still in the band. Celebrating afterward or a discussion on why Steven didn't stay IN the band?

Troubleshooting* — Integration of gem communication networks and Earth Internet and phone lines and the resulting inevitable disaster.

Fairytale — Connie gets a tour of Little Homeworld.

Hope — Jasper finally starting to let her guard down and realize her self worth.

Song* — As for prompts... Steg? Like, him in general, just being himself. It's a bummer we only got to see him in the movie.

Mistakes* — Steven talking to someone (not a therapist, just another character) about his trauma?

Forgiveness — The Topaz fusion reconnects with the Crystal Gems at Little Homeschool and apologizes for her role in the kidnapping all those years ago.

Visions — Sapphire and Ruby reflect on the events of "Together Forever." [Writer’s Choice]

Reunited — Maybe a scene where Yellow comes home from a long escapade and is reunited with a worried Spinel?

Beginnings — After CYM, Lapis and Peridot discuss where to live since the barn is destroyed.

Pet* — White Diamond happily announces one day that she has decided to take in a small creature (of your choosing) as a pet.

Together — What were Doc, Army, Navy, and Leggy doing during Future?

Desert — Steven meeting Lion from Lion's perspective. I dunno, I think it could be neat.

Freedom — For a post-CYM/SU:F prompt, what do you think about the exact moment it hit either Blue or Yellow Pearl that they were completely free to follow their whims?

Apologies — Greg apologizes to Steven due to the incident in “Mr. Universe” and both have the talk they should've had in that episode.

Change — Blue and Yellow Zircon's relationship has improved even if they are now rivals in the new democratic Homeworld. This last tiny bit is related to the “Homeworld Bound” episode.

Hug — Bellow cuddling. Yellow has no idea what to do, but Blue is loving it.

Valentine* — Steven gives Peridot a Valentine's Day gift. [Writer’s Choice]

Spite — Aquamarine and Eyeball are distraught at knowing they won't be rewarded for their actions because their worst enemy, Steven Universe, has been labeled a hero and royalty by the Diamonds.

Reevaluation — How about more Peedee and Steven friendship? Like, Peedee noticing Steven’s change in demeanor the farther along the show we get?

Camp — Connie kicking ass at space camp.

Family — The night after the events of the movie, Steven gets some quality family time.

Homestretch — Peridot, Lapis, and Bismuth spend time together while preparing Little Homeworld.

Enough — We know what Jenny, Sour Cream, and Buck are gonna do for their futures, but what's Kiki been up to? Is she gonna take over the pizzeria?

Spillage — Vidalia and Amethyst catch up after Steven's monster episode.

Reformation — White Diamond has learned how to be so extremely empathetic to the point that she literally becomes another person, but has she really begun to understand others?

Comment* — Sardonyx makes some Internet videos.

Unicorn — While traveling through California, Steven encounters two fishermen arguing about unicorns. [SU/GF crossover.] [Writer’s Choice]

Worry — Andy and Greg stay in touch.

Homerun* — I hopal for Opal—perhaps she will attempt some baseball.

Skydancer — Post-CYM, Pearl getting to “truly” take Steven out for a joy ride through the cosmos in a properly operational ship of her design.

Mercy* — The shattering-is-wrong discussion between Rose and Bismuth that led to Bis being bubbled.

Happy — Smoky Quartz hasn't made a self deprecating joke in a while—is it Steven's therapy?

Electric* — Yellow’s gloves—I feel like they’re covering something up, maybe.

Cake — Fusion Cuisine 2: Electric Boogaloo.

Belonging — The Rose Quartz sisters visit again.

Transcendence — Fluorite offers someone wise caterpillar grandma advice.

March — Connie and Steven reflect on changes in life after the pandemic. Not canon compliant. [Writer’s Choice.]

Understanding — Onion be doing Onion things.

Ocean* — Andy and Steven post-”I Am My Monster”? I love their relationship, lol.

Ignorance* — Does Lapis even realize Bismuth was probably the one who poofed her?

Reflection — Did I already say more Mega Pearl? ‘Cause there can never be enough Mega Pearl.

Possibility* — Yellow deciding she should try putting shattered gems back together. (She probably broke the most.)

Storyboard — Peridot’s budding career as a storyboarder.

Fall — Lapis and Steven talk about trauma and recovery. Pre-The Future.

Limbo — How the dismantled gempire has affected the lives of noble gems like Emerald, Holly Blue Agate, and others.

Now — Garnet reminds herself to live in the present.

Grief* — Alexandrite forms for the first time. [Writer’s Choice]

Inauguration — Wait, did Connie's parents ever meet Stevonnie?

Please — Did Kevin ever learn anything? Naaaaaah....unless...

Friend — General prompt? A sequel/prequel to this, please [White D’s panther].

Treatment — Greg starting to learn more about gem stuff to be more involved in Steven's life if something ugly happens.

Numbers — Pearl, please do something with all those phone numbers in your head.

Generations — Rose continues to discover the wonders of Earth, even after all this time. (No angst allowed in this one, just pure wonder.)

Survival — The Off-Colors used to have more members in the past.

Acting — How did Rainbow 2.0 even get invited to babysit Onion?

Kindness* — Former Mayor Dewey coming to terms with his new position in town.

Play — The Gems and Greg try to capture Steven's first moments on a bike. [Writer’s Choice]

Documentary — Ronaldo makes a real actually informative documentary about Little Homeworld.

Rain — Blue Diamond still cries sometimes.

Zoophobia — Also, I saw Z and my immediate thought was "Zoophobia.”

Echo* — Why does the tiny floating whale have Rose's voice before Steven ever heard it in the tape?

Sketch — Steven and Connie discover an anime character/mythological figure who bears an awfully similar resemblance to Obsidian.

Unironically — Why does Buck wanna be a doctor?

Club — How did Bismuth, Lapis, and Peri become such tight friends?

Nostalgia — Greg considers a comeback tour.

Pressure* — The creation of the Diamonds, maybe?

Coping — Amethyst and Pearl grapple with Rose's pregnancy. [Writer’s Choice]

Theatre — Sugilite, meet Rainbow 2.0.

Dadhood* — Whatever happened to Mrs. Fryman? IS there a Mrs. Fryman, or was it only a passing on-and-off thing that resulted in kids?

Lingering — Jasper finally lets Malachite go.

Human — Steven talks to his therapist about his mom, the feelings of before and the now. (It was left open-ended—his relationship with his mother.)

Words — Kofi is proud of his daughters.

Quest — [Letter prompt] Quest.

Picture — Sour Cream and Steven talking about absent parents and bad parenting. Post-The Future.

Bittersweet* — Shep finally gets to meet the notorious Lars.

Gemini — Spinel discovers memes and we're all doomed.

Weird — When he's younger, Steven doesn't quite know how to label the Gems.

#mimiku #steven universe #100 fragments!!!!!#fragments iii

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softsillytwsted · 3 years

Text

Among Us with the First Years

Yall guess who’s late to the party! I played a long session with my friends and it jump-started my writing.

Warnings: mentions of blood and violence.

General

First of all, the number one rule of this game is to keep quiet and stay anonymous until the next meeting, but no one follows this. For one thing, y’all are sitting in a circle while playing this so it’s hard not to talk

Ace also finds it extremely funny to mess with Deuce and Sebek

Then there’s Grim who can’t play and is instead back-seat playing on your lap. He is also honest to a fault so it’s obvious when you two are the imposter

Ace, Deuce and Epel are always down to play, but it takes Jack and Sebek some goading for them to join. Luckily Jack never backs down from a competition and Lilia encourages Sebek to ‘enjoy his youth’

You all usually play a quick game during lunch time or do sleepovers at Ramshackle and play all night long

ANGRY RANTS IN THE GHOST CHATS

The emergency button was pushed. “Speed run on Ace let’s go!”

Ace

Ace uses the red character with the cherry hat

He’s the best at this game hands down

This smooth talker is good at persuading people, especially Deuce, to his side

He can also start a harmless conversation while murdering someone in cold blood like a psychopath

Maybe because he loves playing tricks on people that he’s able to use sabotages to his full advantage

Although Ace is the best at the game, because he’s a little shit he’s on everyone’s hit list and will die if he’s not careful

Surprisingly enough, Deuce isn’t Ace’s favorite person to kill. It’s Sebek. Sebek’s reactions just make everything funnier.

Ace looked at the task bar. “It’s been silent for awhile now. Who’s not done with their tasks yet?”

“I’ve finished,” replied Epel, the pouting ghost.

“Same,” you chirped while Grim huffed in your lap.

“I finished too,” Jack, the ghost, responded as he hovered disapprovingly at the imposter in-game.

“I-I still got a few left...” Deuce muttered.

“I have a few left as well,” Sebek declared. You/Grim, Deuce, Sebek and Ace are the only ones alive.

“Well, I’m done,” Ace sighed. “Can you two hurry up? It’s getting kinda boring waiting around like this.”

Oxygen tanks have been sabotaged.

“Funny how this happens right after you said that!” Grim accused Ace. “Y/n! Get the top one, the top one! We’re not gonna lose this game!”

“Alright already! Deuce stop panicking and finish up your tasks. Ace or Sebek should do-”

The moment you reached your destination, you watched helplessly as Ace’s cherry red character slashed your character in pieces. Grim hissed in annoyance as you silently stared up at Ace. He winked at you.

“-the bottom one...”

Deuce

Deuce uses the dark blue character with the egg

Ace is the first person he goes after when he’s the imposter

Unironically likes to do the tasks and is the fastest at doing them

He also can’t multi-task. Focusing on his tasks while watching out for corpses and the imposter is impossible for him

Will literally run past a corpse 5 times before finally noticing it

This boy isn’t good under pressure especially when everyone is yelling at him. If the oxygen tanks or reactor is sabotaged, Deuce will bang on every wall before reaching it

Also can’t come up with a good alibi when accused

Epel pushed the emergency button.

“I believe Deuce is the imposter... when I was passing by I saw him standing still in the hallway and when I came back he was still there.”

“W-what? No no no I wasn’t! I was moving around! I’m not the imposter!”

“That sounds exactly like what an imposter would say!” Sebek barked.

“Yep, I definitely think Deuce is the imposter,” Ace chuckled. Ace doesn’t really care if Deuce was the imposter or not. The frustrated look on Deuce’s face as he tries to think of a way to clear his name fueled the ginger’s amusement.

“I don’t know, maybe he was just taking his time looking at his map like the last few games?” You tried to defend Deuce, but only Jack agreed with you.

“Nah let’s kill him.” Ace

“Ya.” Epel

“Ditto.” Grim

“Agreed.” Sebek

“...” Jack

And so Deuce was ejected into space where it was revealed that he in fact was not the imposter. He pouted at his phone, still trying to figure out where to go next. “I told you I’m innocent.”

“Cheer up Deuce! Next time should be better,” you giggled at him. Deuce perked up at your laughter and beamed at you.

“Thanks for believing in me back there. I can count on you next time right?”

“...Deuce did you forget the imposter is chosen at random?”

The imposter was later revealed to be Epel.

Jack

Chose the white character with the ski goggles

The second worst player in the game

Is the person who always enforces others not to group together, but when he sees two people in a room he will hover over the door to make sure one of them won’t kill the other

The boy has a hard time lying and faking doing tasks and everyone exploits this

The quickest games are when he’s the imposter and sometimes it’s over before he can even kill someone

When Jack is innocent: “Jack are you the imposter?” “No”

When Jack isn’t: “Jack are you the imposter?” Ears flat, tail lifeless “...”

This game gives him the worst existential crisis because a part of him wants to play with all his might but the other JUST. CAN’T. LIE.

You found Sebek’s cold body lying in the admin room. All hell breaks loose once you report the body.

“FINALLY SOMEONE FOUND MY BODY! I was getting frustrated when SOMEBODY keeps passing me,” Sebek shouts while looking pointedly at Deuce.

Deuce shamefully looks away.

“Alright let’s start with the usual questions,” you began and turned to Jack. “Jack are you the imposter?”

“...No.”

“Okay Jack’s out-”

“Hold it! We shouldn’t rule out Jack just because he said so!” Ace interrupted you with a scowl on his lips. Jack snarled at the accusation.

“Are you calling me a liar?” he growled out. Unperturbed at the 192cm wall of muscle who was bristling at him, Ace’s face twisted into a mocking smirk.

Well I ain’t calling you a truther. “That’s the whole point of the game! For all we know, you could’ve finally wizened up and are lying to us now!”

“...Ace has a point,” Deuce held his chin in thoughtful agreement. On the other hand, you and Epel were conflicted.

“I’d say we vote Ace out,” Grim said with a sly grin on his face. “I saw his character look at us funny.” The little monster still held a grudge against Ace for saying Grim sucked at the game. (”But it’s true! You’re paws can’t even hit the buttons!” “Shut up Ace!”)

“That is suspicious,” simple, easily swayed Deuce agreed.

“Wait wait wait! How the fuck does that make sense?” Ace retorted. At the same time, Grim began smashing his paws at the screen and managed to vote for Ace. (“Hah! Take that Ace!”)

Deuce cast his vote immediately after, and Jack followed up while sending an amused smirk towards Ace. Epel was red in the face from trying to hold in his laughter from the silliness of it all. Eventually, he managed to vote for Ace.

Ace was ejected into space. Crew mates win.

“Lucky guess,” Ace grumbled under his breath.

Epel

Epel chooses the purple character and uses the straw hat

Has the most wins under his belt and is that one player that never gets killed

Epel usually plays it safe until someone riles him up and now he’s killing like he’s got something to prove

The master of vent assassinations.

Seriously. Usually when the first body gets reported, it’s been discovered that two other people have been killed already.

Tends to go on cams more than do the tasks

You, Ace and Jack were doing tasks in the electrical room. The lights go off and Epel’s purple character jumps out of a vent to stab you with its tongue. When the lights come back on, Epel is gone. Jack discovers your dead body and reports it immediately.

“It was Ace. I was in the same room with him and Y/n when the lights were off. Then he killed Y/n.”

“Hah? No way why would I do something that obvious?”

“So you admit you’re the imposter?”

Everyone votes Ace out. You discreetly squint at Epel for being so devious, but the lavender-haired boy only smiles sweetly at you in return. You were Epel’s first kill in this round, so after you finished your tasks you spent the rest of the game following him around.

You quickly realized that nothing was more frightening than Epel, a 156cm ball of fury.

You watched him hide in the medical room’s vent while Jack was being scanned. The minute Deuce, who stuck around to see Jack start the scan, left the room Epel jumped out and murdered Jack in cold blood. You saw Jack flinch as his character died, but he resumed his tasks without a grumble.

With only two people left alive, Epel stalked the halls to look for his last kill. He found both Sebek and Deuce in the cafeteria. One is at the vending machine, and the other is at the garbage disposal. Deuce finished first and spied Epel heading towards Sebek. “Oh Epel, did you finish your ta-” he watched as Epel’s character slashed into Sebek. The game ends soon after.

Thanks to Epel, the kill cool down was extended... again.

Sebek

Chose the lime green character with the horns (”THEY’LL NEVER BE AS MAJESTIC AS WAKA-SAMA’S”)

Living in the Valley of Thorns has him unfamiliar with technology in general so he’s extremely clumsy with the controls.

He also has a hard time navigating the area and is always hitting the walls and missing the doors

Also the slowest at doing tasks

Speaking of tasks, there was one game where he thought he finished all of them and he ended up giving the imposter enough time to kill everyone (”If the tasks are not all green that means you didn’t finish them!” “WHAT!?”)

Sebek is very mission-oriented and although he considers it beneath him to lie, he will to fulfill his objective

Will go the long way around to try and avoid his shifty friends

Absolutely fun to tease but not the worst at the game to be fair

“Wait so who did you see kill Jack, Deuce? Sebek or Hot Sebek?” you asked the teal-eyed teen.

“For the last time STOP USING MY NAME!”

“Quiet normal Sebek,” you shushed him. “Let Deuce talk.”

“It was the hot one... H-hot Sebek.” Poor Deuce tried so hard to contain his laughter as he spoke. Ace was already rolling on the floor and Epel was stifling a chuckle with his hand.

Sebek was fuming but stayed quiet while everyone else voted. Soon Hot Sebek AKA Ace gets ejected into space and the crew members win.

“We’re starting a new session and this time no one else will use my name. GOT IT?”

“Sounds good,” Jack said as he glowered at Ace. “I don’t understand why you would want to hide your identity. We should all face each other with everything bared - fair and square!”

“That is exactly right, Jack! Cowardly tactics should be frowned upon!”

Ace deadpanned, “Did you guys forget that’s the whole point of the game?”

#twisted wonderland #twst #Ace Trappola #Deuce Spade #Jack Howl #Epel Felmier #Sebek Zigvolt #Grim #twst scenarios #???#twst headcannons #?#why is everything i write inconsistent #inspired by the 4 hr session i had with my friends #tw// gore #tw// blood

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yuta-nakamots · 4 years

Text

Candle Light - l.hc ; Part 2 of 2 (End)

Pairing - College!Haechan x Ghost!Reader

Genre - Fluff but mostly angst at the end

Warnings - Character death, supernatural activity (you are literally a ghost)

Summary - As the resident ghost that haunts your old apartment, you take pride in scaring away those who dare move in, not wanting them to ruin your memories. Though your mission changes after a group of boys arrive. These are the four boys you allow into your space and your heart. One of them is the candle that supports you, and you are the fire that burns atop it, his beacon of light.

Word Count - 6.2k

A/N - as always, credit goes to @soleilhyuck for coming up with the idea for this fic. thank you for patiently waiting and giving lots of love to this series and please look forward to frat boy!yuta next month as well <3

Tag List - @sunflowerhae @eunsangelical @soleilhyuck @neoyoungho @carefreebubble @sly-merlin @jisungismymom @jimelonji @lyraaacle @peachy-yabbay @yomanitsgonnabehee

January 2020

News about the new virus was quickly spreading, as was the disease itself, unironically. You sat next to Renjun as he watched the news on TV and played a game on his phone while Jeno was lying on the floor in front of the coffee table as he typed out an essay on his laptop.

You watched as the newscaster stood in front of a graph showing the number of cases spiking up as he said “all local colleges will be migrating to an online schooling system for the second half of this year” to which Jeno let out a loud groan at.

“How the fuck am I supposed to do all my labs then?” he muttered under his breath, angrily hitting the carpeted floor. You laughed at his childish action, Jeno’s head whipping around as he looked in your general direction with his pupils shaking as he tried to find a face to match the voice he had just heard.

“Hey y/n, I think Jeno can hear you,” Renjun said nonchalantly as he continued watching the news station on TV, “okay, Jeno wait I think you should pay attention to the screen.”

He informed the other boy just in time as the anchor said “certain schools have disclosed that some students may still be required to return to campus for activities such as labs or other assessment events.”

Jeno rolled onto his back, letting out another groan that was almost actually a growl. “I don’t know which is worse. Having to go to school during a pandemic, or having to learn from my computer 24/7.”

February 2020

As more plans for the second semester were announced, Jeno did end up having to still visit the campus for his labs so he was occasionally out along with Jaemin who was volunteering at a hospital nearby, the same one your body was taken to after the incident, not that you’d ever tell them that though.

Jaemin had convinced Renjun to come along saying “we need extra help and it’s not like you’re doing anything anyways now that class is online” as he quite literally dragged Renjun out the front door.

This left you with Haechan, who was only able to see you in certain instances because he was still not totally sure if you really existed or not. He still used the scented candles in his room, much to your distaste, since you found yourself having to put out the flame nearly every night due to his forgetfulness.

He’d spend almost every waking moment on his computer playing Overwatch and whatever other games he was into, only stopping when we had to attend his mandatory online lectures. Even then, he’d still have the game up on his screen, barely even caring about the lecture.

Eventually, this irritated you enough, having been quite a good student yourself, to the point where you just lost it when you saw him pull up his school account and you peered over his shoulder and realizing how bad his grades really were.

“You shouldn’t do that, you know.” You spoke to him, hovering behind him as you read through the contents of his student profile.

Haechan froze for a second, surprised by your voice though he didn’t make an effort to turn around. “Well, you shouldn’t just scare people like that.” He retorted at you.

“Then don’t take your college life for granted,” you remark, not missing the high amount of absences he had even though all his courses were online, “I would’ve loved to have completed mine, but that just didn’t seem to be in my life plan now, was it?” You asked rhetorically, your voice laced with sarcasm to match his.

“What are you gonna do about it, huh?” He spat out at you. “You can’t force me to study.”

You rolled your eyes at him even if he couldn’t see you as you scoffed, “yes I can.” Quite literally, you moved through his desk and unplugged his computer from its power socket. A satisfactory grin fell upon your face as you heard his monitor die out and you look at him. His mouth was slightly agape as he finally saw you up close, your previously translucent figure becoming clearer and clearer to him with every second that passed.

From then on, Haechan consciously made an effort to cut back on his gaming and dedicate more time to his schoolwork, as he hated not knowing when you’d decide to pop into his room again and he didn’t want to risk more damage to his precious computer.

Sometimes he’d spend so much time studying that he’d even fall asleep at his desk, to which you could only sigh at as you fanned out the flames of his stupid scented candles that he continued to use before grabbing his blanket from his bed and placing it atop his shoulders.

March 2020

You found that you actually quite enjoyed spending time with Haechan as he was more entertaining and witty than Renjun. Though on a particularly slow afternoon, you watched Haechan as he went about making a sandwich in the kitchen, making yourself known to him by a light tug on his shirt before he asked “so why exactly do you haunt this apartment?”

You were leaning against the kitchen island behind him, not even having bothered to materialize in your semi-human form since you let him pick and choose when he wanted to see you or not. “If I’m being honest, I really don’t know. All I’m sure about is that this unit is my unit. It always has been and it always will be.”

“Well, what are your ties to this place? What does it mean to you?” He pressed on as he grabbed a slice of bologna from the refrigerator.

After pausing for a second as you recall your past, you told him “this is where I grew up, my parents moved here when I started elementary school and I’ve lived here for almost twenty years until I died and ever since then, I’ve just been here.”

“I’m sorry,” he interjected, looking at you and making eye contact to let you know he was being sincere, “I really am. You had so much to live for, your whole life ahead of you.” He shook his head in pity as he unwrapped a piece of cheese.

“Things don’t always go according to your plan, as you can see,” you stated before continuing on with your story, “anyways, my family moved out shortly after my incident because my sister would always cry whenever she had to pass the spot I was last alive at and eventually my parents couldn’t take it anymore so they just up and left.”

Haechan was unscrewing the lid of the jar of mayonnaise when he asked “why didn’t you stop them? Or did you try but they just weren’t able to see you?”

“They couldn’t see or hear me. I tried calling out to them, telling them I was still here, I was still alive, but nothing worked...and so they left me behind.” Your voice trailing off at the end as you felt a familiar pain in your chest at the memory of your family.

Haechan hummed in acknowledgment, spreading pieces of lettuce over the top of his sandwich, going silent before speaking again. “I think you need closure. Do you know where your family went to? I’m pretty sure we could--”

“No, I’d rather not talk to them.” You interrupted, not wanting to witness your family in pain again after having to watch them mourn your death in this very apartment. To them, you were a thing of the past and you wished to stay that way.

“You can’t just be cursed to wander around this unit for the rest of your life, or lack thereof. That’s a bit…” he paused as he wracked his brain for a word, turning up blank, “sad, for lack of a better word.”

You watched as he placed a slice of bread on top and pressed it down before biting into his creation. “It’s not like it was my choice in the first place, you know,” you strongly articulated, “if you really wanted to help me then you’d leave this place and let me wander in peace now that you know my story.”

“We both know damn well that you’re not gonna be happy if we leave you on your own.” And the most surprising part of his statement was that he was right.

April 2020

After your previous conversation with Haechan, the two of you started avoiding each other and you ended up spending more time with Jeno when he eventually came around to being able to see you. He was more of an easygoing presence and he didn’t mind it when you stayed in his room, he just asked that you “don’t mess with my stuff like when you stacked all my books up and turned my clothes inside out” the memory of it still makes you laugh to yourself.

You felt bad for Jeno, seeing him come home already exhausted from his labs and lectures, letting out a loud sigh whenever he entered through the front door as he was finally able to take off his face mask and allow himself to take a deep breath of air.

You’d often find him dozing off at his desk, his face resting either on his arm or on whatever page he had been going over. Sometimes, if you knew the assignment was important or if the deadline was near, you’d try to keep him awake by doing this like clicking his book or dropping a book on the floor. But if he was really knocked out, all you could do was just plug in his electronics to let them charge before bookmarking his page and clearing his desk for him.

On the night of his 20th birthday, the boys decided to have their own mini-party, which you excused yourself from. You didn’t want to get in the way of their celebration since you didn’t know for sure where you stood with Haechan and that’s on top of the fact that Jaemin still didn’t believe in your existence.

You stayed in Jeno’s room, softly plucking at the strings of his guitar which he had kindly left out for you. He had previously voiced his worries about you getting bored from always staying in the unit, which you found quite cute of him.

He came back to his room around midnight and you watched as he drunkenly made his way to the bathroom, stumbling in and nearly tripping over his own feet. You heard him throwing up into the toilet but you stayed put, knowing that you wouldn’t be of much help anyway. You recognized the sound of Haechan’s voice as he entered from his own side and tried to clean Jeno up.

Moments later, Haechan came into the room carrying a near unconscious Jeno to the bed you were currently sitting on. All Haechan had to do was merely glance at you before you were already materializing in human form to put Jeno’s guitar back on its stand and help Haechan get the birthday boy into bed.

Once Jeno was tucked in and snoring, you looked up at Haechan and he nodded his head in the direction of his room, inviting you to come over with him, which you did without much hesitation. You sat on the edge of his bed as he started up his computer as he asked you “don’t you ever get tired of just staying in the apartment all the time?”

You watched as he typed in his login information as you responded, “kind of, I guess. It’s all I know so it’s not like I really have anywhere else to go.”

“Have you ever tried leaving the building, or this unit at all?” He inquired while pulling up a page on google.

You thought for a moment before answering him. “No, I’ve never really wanted to leave because I’m comfortable here.”

Haechan simply nodded and stated “fair enough” as he switched tabs before turning to you. “I found this article the other day and I think this is relevant to you.” He informed, beckoning you over to him. You moved closer and read it from over his shoulder.

Certain spirits roam the earth as ghosts due to their souls holding onto the regret they had while they were still living. It is common for these types of ghosts to stay in a place that they have special emotional ties to. They often try to scare away people who enter their sacred place as they are trying to preserve it as it is in their memory, resisting change. There have been successful cases of exorcism for these types of ghosts, though oftentimes, it serves to only anger them further, which is why exorcism is not recommended. Edit: It has been found that the spirits often pass on to the true afterlife once they let go of the regrets they are holding and free themselves from the baggage that is tying them to their sacred place.

“Haechan, I already told you, I’m not leaving.”

“But think about it, you can’t just continue existing with one foot in the afterlife, one foot in the during-life,” causing you to laugh at his wording, “aren’t there other dead people you’d like to meet? You know, like Michael Jackson or something?”

“Of course, but how would you know if there really is an afterlife where I could meet them?”

“I don’t, but aren’t you getting tired of just watching people come and go? Aren’t you curious about the existence of an afterlife? You’ve been here for what, two years?”

“Three years.” You corrected, though he was correct about your boredom and curiosity even if it really was just in the slightest form.

You weren’t looking forward to when the boys moved out as it meant you’d be left on your own again. You had grown used to the four of them since you had at least one of them home at nearly all times. You didn’t want them to leave and you had even though about asking them to stay, but you knew it would be unfair to them as they had previously talked about their future educational plans.

Renjun already was in the process of transferring to a school or arts to further hone his skills as he was nearing the completion of his traditional core credits. Jeno wanted to study abroad and experience different cultures while Jaemin simply would follow along, having promised both of their parents that he would look out for Jeno and make sure he didn’t overwork himself though oftentimes it was the other way around.

As finals came around again, you witnessed the boys and their ways of dealing with the stress of their exams. Renjun simply painted aggressively while Jeno started stretching and working out more often and Jaemin, who still wasn’t able to hear or see you, resorted to cooking. You couldn’t believe Haechan broke out those godforsaken candles yet again, even after you had voiced your hatred for them, having to put out their flames and clean up the dripping wax as to not cause a fire hazard.

One day, Jaemin was finally able to see a faint outline of your silhouette when you managed to catch the knife he had accidentally pushed off the counter while preparing dinner for the guys. He really didn’t believe them when they spoke of your existence, he simply thought it was some kind of odd prank they were all in on, but when he saw his knife floating mere centimeters above his foot, he realized they weren’t lying at all.

Ever since then, you’ve enjoyed hanging around with all four of the boys. They each introduced you to their hobbies and did their best at including you in as many activities as possible. Renjun was overjoyed when he saw you lift a brush from his case and when you asked if you could join him. He was painting a simple sunset and was more than happy to have your company. Renju let you paint any way you wished, only helping here and there to blend in your strokes and fix some of the color gradients.

After it dried, you stood back as he hung the canvas up in the living room with a broad smile on his face. He turned around and you watched as his expression morphed into one of confusion when he didn’t see you behind him and he called out your name. You felt a sense of anxiety creep up on you, reminiscent of the feeling of when your own family were not about to see you.

You knew Renjun had it easiest when it came to seeing and hearing you so why was he having a hard time now? “Oh, there you are.” He said, when you came into his view again, seemingly lightheartedly but it was hard for both of you to feel at ease after what just occurred.

It happened again when you were with Jeno as he was teaching you how to play a few chords on his guitar, something you had always wanted to do in your active lifetime. The two of you had been going at it for about an hour now and things were going pretty smoothly aside from Jeno having to help press the strings down when your own fingers weren’t enough.

You were able to learn a few simple chords separately but right before you were able to string them all together, the guitar suddenly fell through your hold into Jeno’s hands that were helping you apply pressure to the strings. He let out a noise of surprise as he too could no longer see your form.

He blinked rapidly, thinking it was his own eyes playing tricks on him until you saw him relax as both of you witnessed your own body flicker back into existence. This time, there was definitely no denying what just happened.

Later that night you went to Haechan and told him both accounts of what was going on and you broke down in tears, telling him how you didn’t want to leave them just yet. He rubbed your back as you clung on to his shirt, your tears would’ve been soaking it if you weren’t a ghost.

As much as you wanted to stay in his embrace, he told you that he had to study for an upcoming final so you instead settled for lying on his bed and staring up at the ceiling as you let your mind wander through all the what-ifs going through your head.

You’re not sure how much time passed before Haechan finally climbed into his bed, throwing an arm over your waist. No sooner than before he lifted his head to speak to you, his arm dropped through your body and fell onto his bed. The shock was evident on his face as he watched you fade out from his view.

Haechan frantically reached out, trying to grasp onto something, anything to tell him that you were still there as he called out your name. You did the same to him, but your cries fell on deaf ears until one of your hands managed to grab ahold of his and he found your eyes, the fear in his mirroring your own.

You laid with Haechan as he slept that night, scared that you’d cease to exist if he weren’t by your side to validate your presence every so often.

May 2, 2020

One night, as all of you were in the living room watching a show on Netflix, as per Renjun’s recommendation, you mentioned these repeated occurrences to them causing a thick silence to fall over everyone as they processed what this possibly meant for you.

Again, you sought out Haechan’s comfort that night and stayed by his side as he slept because being with him made you feel the slightest bit more real, even when his arm dropped from your waist again.

Now that finals week was over, the boys were home more often, though Jaemin still continued to work and volunteer at the hospital with Renjun, leaving you with Jeno and Haechan. Not much changed as you still continued to stick to Haechan like glue.

May 14, 2020

About two weeks after you had first brought up the topic of your frequency disappearances, you were lying next to Haechan in his bed as you both watched videos on his phone. He abruptly turned it off and turned to face you. “Have you ever been in a relationship before?”

You shook your head, “no, I was always too bust for one.”

“Did you want to be in one? Do you want to be in one?” You froze as you looked at him, not sure if he meant what you’re thinking he means. “On a scale from one to ten, how mad would you be right now if I told you I might have feelings for you?”

You thought for a moment before responding. “Depends on if you’re being serious or not.”

“I’m dead serious. Okay, maybe not dead, but you know what I mean.” He said, poking fun at his word choice.

“Do you really like me?” You asked, unsure if you were thinking clearly.

“Yes,” he paused, “but only if you like me back.”

“Is this just a spur of the moment thing or have you actually had feelings for me before this?” You could feel your cheeks heating up and you were suddenly grateful that he couldn’t see you as if you were a normal human.

“For a while now.” He stated, shrugging his shoulders as if it were nothing.

Your eyes grew wide in shock. “I...Haechan, as much as I’m flattered, we both know it’s not going to work out,” your voice getting caught in your throat, “you’re human, you’re still alive. There’s someone out there for you--”

“Okay and?”

“There’s someone who you can hold, someone you can kiss and make love to, someone you can have a family with--”

“And what if that someone is you?” He interrupted again. “What if you’re the someone I want to hold, to kiss, to spend time with?”

“Haechan...I don’t know…” Your voice coming out as more of a whisper.

His eyes searched yours as he spoke. “Just let me kiss you...please.”

You let out a small “okay” as your eyes fluttered shut and you felt his lips meet yours. He showed you the warmth you didn’t know you could even feel as you allowed yourself to melt into his kiss. Had it not been for your body disintegrating again and causing Haechan to fall forward, you probably would’ve stayed kissing him until he was begging for air.

“I guess that’s the universe telling me to give you a break for a bit.” He chuckled while he grabbed his phone and unpaused the video he was playing earlier as he waited for you to appear again. You didn’t have to look at him to know there was a smile plastered on his face as you wrapped your arms around him and nuzzled your face into his chest the very second you could.

If you were considered to be clingy with Haechan, now you were practically inseparable.

May 17, 2020

It was a rare occurrence for all four of them to be home together during the day so Jaemin took it as an opportunity to gather everyone for lunch. He didn’t even knock as he opened the door to Haechan’s room, sticking his head in to say “lunch is ready. I made kimchi stew. Oh, hey y/n, haven’t seen you in a while.”

You whined in embarrassment due to the fact that you were currently seated in Haechan’s lap as he practically held you like a baby, cooing at you and littering kisses across your face.

Once Jaemin was gone, Haechan pressed a kiss to your forehead. “You’re cute when you’re embarrassed. You know that?” He said, ruffling your hair out of affection.

May 19, 2020

You watch with great interest as Haechan lugs a box into his bedroom and cuts it open, revealing an electronic keyboard. He had told you previously that he wanted to get back into playing piano, having played it when he was younger. You didn’t think he was actually serious enough about it to buy a whole keyboard which, from the looks of it, seemed pretty expensive.

You sat in his gaming chair as you watched him assemble the stand, handing him scissors when he asked and holding things in place when his own two hands weren’t enough. You didn’t trust yourself to do much else in case you randomly disappeared again. Your lips curved upwards as he plugged the keyboard into the socket on the wall and played a few chords, his own smile matching yours.

May 20, 2020

Sighing, you floating your way into Haechan’s room as you notice his sleeping figure hunched over his desk, a little string of drool landing on the lined paper he was writing on. Given that school was already over, you figured it was song lyrics that he was writing.

Haechan, along with getting back into playing piano, had also picked up song composition and lyric writing as well though he refused to show you any of the lyrics he wrote and claimed he’d be embarrassed if you saw them to which you rolled your eyes at. Haechan? Embarrassed? Now that was a rarity given that he was one of the most confident people you’ve ever met, not even bothering to cover himself up the few times you accidentally came in while he was changing his clothes.

But as confident as he was, he had yet to channel that into his lyric writing as he kept falling asleep after hours of trying to get them perfect. You fan out the candle he had been using and run your finger across his lip, gathering his drool, in order to prevent his from further wetting his paper.

You tried to slowly pull the paper out from under his head, doing your best to not wake him up, though your efforts were in vain as his eyes shot open the second you tugged a little too hard. It took Haechan only a second or two to figure out what you were doing before he snatched the paper from you while whining “I told you not to read them” as he puts it in a folder filled with other papers which you assume are also lyrics.

“I was only moving it so you wouldn’t drool on it like a baby.” You scoffed at him.

Haechan imitated your scoff back at you, “don’t lie,” he quipped, “I know you were going to read it as soon as you got your hands on it.”

“You know, you better quit it or else you’re sleeping alone tonight.” You threatened, knowing that your boyfriend of sorts has gotten used to your presence in his bed while he slept.

“No!” He exclaimed, his eyes growing wide in panic before he dove for his bed and gave you puppy eyes, begging you not to leave him.

May 25, 2020

At this point, your disappearances had become more frequent and lasted for longer durations, leaving the boys constantly guessing as to where you were. You could barely muster up the force to show yourself in your human form and physically move objects so you were glad when you realized they could all see you in your regular blue-tinted ghost state.

You considered yourself lucky when they told you they could still feel the gusts of wind you created while moving around, even when you became invisible. It may look stupid to you when you were rapidly moving your arms back in forth to let them know where you are, but it’s not like you cared when you knew they couldn’t see you anyways.

On this day, you were watching a show on TV with Renjun, though he could only vaguely sense your presence. When you heard the sink in the kitchen turn on, you left your seat and floated through the wall to see if it was Jaemin cooking again. Much to your surprise, it was Haechan who was actually doing the dishes for once.

You moved around behind him, alerting him of your presence. “Hey babe, came to do the dishes with me?” You rolled your eyes and rapidly fanned his neck, something you knew he hated because he was ticklish in that area. “Okay, okay, I get it.” He giggled while scrunching his neck.

“Is y/n with you in the kitchen?” Renjun called out from the living room. Haechan shouted back a short ‘yes’ to which you heard Renjun respond back with a slight laugh in his voice, “I thought she was still with me so I was talking about the show but I guess I was just talking to myself this whole time.”

May 29, 2020

No matter how much energy you concentrated, you just couldn’t seem to show yourself in your human form at all. You weren’t completely invisible to the boys yet, just fading in and out of your normal ghost forme every so often, though if you really tried hard enough, you could force yourself to become visible again, even if it were only for a few seconds. You saved your energy for more important moments like when Haechan shot up from his place next to you in bed, sweating from the nightmare he was having.

For the past half hour or so, you watched him as he writhed in his sleep and you felt your heart wrench knowing there was nothing you could do to rouse him from his sleep, unable to do your normal actions of slamming windows or dropping books so you felt a sense of relief when he jolted awake and looked over to where he knew you’d be, his eyes searching for the outline of your body to give him some comfort.

You forced yourself to show up, glowing faintly in the darkened room as Haechan was able to catch your silhouette before it disappeared again. His eyes bore straight into yours, even if you knew that to him, he was simply staring at a wall so you didn’t move, not wanting to leave his gaze as he spoke to you.

“Y/n, I hope you know that every moment I spend with you is precious to you. Whether I can see you or not, I know when you’re with me.” He confessed, his eyes starting to tear up. “I can only hope that I am making your last moments precious for you as well.”

You hoped so desperately to have enough strength to show yourself again to let him know that you heard him and felt the same way, but you were unable to. Your own wet eyes mirrored his as you reached out a hand to cup his face, a tear slipping out of your eyes as you watch your hand merely fall through his cheek.

June 2, 2020

You’ve come to terms with the fact that your time on earth is running out when you can only seem to manage to materialize once or twice a day, lasting for only about a second each time. You were upset that you didn’t get to say a true goodbye to the other three boys, wanting to thank them for taking such good care of you. Maybe you just so hoped that this regret would keep you with them longer, if only for a few more days.

June 4, 2020

When Haechan returns to his room after eating breakfast with the rest of the guys, you watch as he sits down in front of his keyboard before turning around to face his bed, where he’s guessing you were as he spoke. “Y/n, I wrote this song for you. I don’t know how much longer I have left with you so I rushed the ending of it, but I wanted to show you now before it’s too late.”

With that, he turned back around and began playing a melody you had heard from him before though it was different this time around now that he was singing the lyrics he wrote for you.

Like Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Moments with you are always special. I’m thankful for all the days we spend together, At times like this I get shy, but it means I love you. When I see you brightly smiling and dazzling, My wish of us being together forever seems like it’ll come true. I know the future isn’t clear and the past might be sad, But don’t worry anymore. Just keep adding days like this. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, I only have plans filled with you, I think it’s perfect. In my heart, my dreams were possible through you, I want to fulfill them all with you. I’m not alone, I’m with you, When I needed someone, you came to me. Even in the ordinary, I celebrate your preciousness, Please always stay by my side.

I want to give you gift-like days, you and me, me and you baby. Without leaving behind a single day, it’s only us. Like candlelight that never goes out, My wish of us being together forever seems like it’ll come true.

June 5, 2020

If you’re being completely honest with yourself, you’ve practically given up trying to make your whereabouts known to the boys, though they continued to speak to you as they estimated your location and if you were even present in the same room or not.

You wanted to tell Haechan how much you loved the song he wrote, but you were unable to. You wanted to do something for his birthday but you barely had enough strength to walk yourself from the balcony back into his room.

For the first time within the last four years of your existence, you felt tired. You had forgotten this feeling, what it was like to be tired and suddenly you remembered when all you wanted to do was lie down and sleep.

It was late already, the digital clock on Haechan’s desk reading 11:48pm as he stepped out from the bathroom, freshly showered. You eyed him, wanting to get up and kiss him all over, to give him the same love he gave to you, and you felt so helpless when you knew you wouldn’t be able to.

He lay down in his bed with his hair still slightly wet. “Can you believe it’s already been a whole year since we first moved in?” He turned his head, guessing at where your face was but returning his gaze to the ceiling to not make you feel bad before continuing on. “I never would’ve believed in ghosts if I hadn’t met you but now I’m always gonna think all ghosts are as sweet as you and that’s not good,” he said as he let out a laugh at the end, “I’m going to get myself killed if I try talking to a ghost that isn’t as kind and loving as you.”

Haechan went silent for a bit before continuing on. “But you would never let that happen right? You’ll be my angel watching down on me from above,” he paused as a sly smile appeared on his face, “or you’ll be my little demon waiting for me in hell.” He snicked to himself at his joke. “Ah, you’re probably trying to hit me right now. Don’t worry, I’ll do it myself.” And with that, he slapped his own cheek before telling you “I really love you and I hope you know that.”

June 6, 2020

As soon as the clock’s display changed to 12:00am, Haechan’s door burst open, revealing the other three boys with party hats atop their heads as they carried in a small cake with two candles on it, showing his new age of twenty. They began singing happy birthday and you even sang along with them, clapping your hands to the beat, even if they couldn’t hear you.

“Make a wish!” Renjun exclaimed once the song was over.

Haechan clasped his hands together as he closed his eyes for a few seconds. “Y/n, I know you’re still here. Before you go, please do this one last time for me.” He reopened his eyes and looked over at where he assumed you were and gestured towards the cake. You felt your heart swell with love as you took a final glance at him before using all your remaining energy to blow out the candle.

When the flame of the candle went out, so did your view of the world. Everything faded to black as your fire was extinguished, letting you rest in peace as Haechan’s candlelight.

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