#but who knows . maybe i’ll be open to sharing it in dms in the future | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

buckys-other-punk · 3 years

Text

Hold on..THIS IS YOU?!

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Reader

Request: where she is a fanfic writer and Sebastian stumbles upon her blog and messaged her as well not letting her know who he was but being an open person she is as to who she was, sending pictures and all, and until one day, decides to meet with her and she is surprised that it was the one she was writing for?

Word Count: 3.6K

Warnings: fluff, sarcasm (of course) and cussing? i think that’s all

A/N: Hello my lovelies. I am sorry I haven’t been posting as much, but that’s usually how I roll..no jk I legit had no time to write because of my classes this semester, so if this sucks I’m sorry lol. I’m still trying to get back into my writing groove...Also don’t mind my minor mistakes 😅

A/N 2: Anyways I AM BACK AND this is my first request ever!! I’m so excited to write this, I am soo sorry this took forever, but hope I did your request justice and that you like it (and so do others). I feel like I wrote this kinda cheesy, but whatever.

[Y/B/N = your blog name]

As always lemme know if you wanna be tagged in my future works and feedback is very much appreciated. Enjoy! <3

Just another normal day without stress and a less anxiety filled world...no, today was actually awful. You were swamped with work and your best friend was complaining about her boyfriend. Let’s just say that the stress she was having with him was making you feel happy that you were single. Trying to relax you heated up some coffee (a/n: or tea) and sat on the couch of your small apartment. Grabbing your laptop you wanted to unwind reading. Probably some fanfics on Tumblr usually does the trick.

After reading some pretty good marvel related fics by your mutuals, you got inspired to write some fics yourself. Opening up a new tab you began writing about your favorite actor, Sebastian Stan. That man literally makes your miserable day a little better. Sadly, like all the girls and women who fantasize over him, he doesn’t know you. But, whatever right? You can always use your imagination and conjure up a make believe world where the two of you are happily engaged and have a German Shepard puppy named Stitch. Shaking your head to clear your thoughts, you opened another tab on your laptop to pull up your writing playlist, you began typing away on your keyboard writing a new AU where you’re the celebrity of the world you were creating and he was a huge fan of you. After you finished your new fic, you posted that immediately without edits because you were so excited to see people read it.

*across town*

“Have you guys ever read any fanfiction about your characters or yourselves?” the interviewer asked the pair.

“You know I’ve seen a few that were quite impressive. These writers are damn creative.” Anthony replied with a smile. “I will also not lie. I’ve read a few steamy ones and y’all are dirty.” he added with a slight disgusted face shaking his head towards the camera.

“What about you Sebastian? Have you read any?” the interviewer lady asked, looking over to the man.

“Honestly. I haven’t.” Sebastian chuckled looking back at her. “Maybe, if Mackie here finds a good one about me I’ll give it a read.” shrugging towards his friend.

“Oh man, I got a few that are worth reading.” Mackie laughed, rubbing his hands together.

“Hey, might as well share them with the world. Let’s give that writer a shout out!” she exclaimed, placing her notecards on her lap.

“Well, like I’ve said I’ve only read a bit, but I do have some blogs that I’ve saved. Maybe next time I’ll name drop a few and give fans some well deserved praise.” Anthony smiled looking at the two.

“Alright, well you better have a huge list for me.” the lady said with a smile looking at Anthony. “Thank you both again for your time. For everyone watching Falcon and the Winter Soldier comes out in March 2021.” She finished off the interview smiling and waving at the camera and the two men followed her actions as well. Once the cameras and mics were turned off the lady came back to the two men.

“Thank you again guys for your time” the lady said to the pair shaking their hands (a/n: ok let's pretend there is no corona in this world so yeah. Everyone is healthy and so is the world!). The two replied with a simple you’re welcome and another thanks in return.

“Wait, have you really read fanfiction before?” Sebastian asked his co-star as the pair walked towards their manager, who was waiting for them outside the room, getting their schedule for the pair’s next interview.

“I mean yeah. I got curious on what people were writing about us and our characters.” Anthony responded with a shrug looking down at his phone.

“Aren’t most of those like fifty shades of grey?” Sebastian asked, staring at his friend as stood near their manager.

“Only if you want them to be..” Mackie stared at his friend with a blank face as they came to an abrupt stop. “Nah man, I’m just playing. Some of them are steamy, others can be sad, like crazy sad and some are like tooth rotting cute. Like I recently read one that was with Captain America and this original character that the author came up with and it made me say ‘aww’ when I finished it. Me. A grown man said ‘aww’ after reading a fanfic. A FANFIC!” he added. Their manager quickly explained their schedule and walked them over to their car to head off to the next location. The two were seated at the back, while their manager sat next to the driver.

“You know what. Send me that story you read.” Sebastian said to Anthony.

“Are you sure Seb?” Anthony asked with a chuckle.

“Yeah, why not.” he replied with a shrug. “Might as well read a good story before our next interview.”

“Alright let me send it to you right now. Honestly I think this writer is one of my favorites. I don’t know if it's her writing style or how she portrays our characters, but she’s amazing.” Mackie said with a smile getting the fic he recently read and sending it to his friend.

“So all her stories are good?” Sebastian asked, looking at the notification.

“I just said that she is my favorite writer.” Anthony looked at his friend with a ‘are you serious face.’

“Okay. Okay.” Seb said with his arms up in defense. After a few minutes of reading the fanfic Sebastian actually said ‘aww’ aloud just like Mackie after he first read the story.

“It was good wasn’t it.” Anthony asked with a toothy grin.

“Yeah this was really good. Y/B/N is a pretty good writer.” Sebastian said looking through your feed.

“You should tell her!” Anthony exclaimed.

“What, like make an account?” Seb asked.

“Well yeah, but I mean not your actual name of course. Make a fan account. Show these writers your appreciation, I know that if I were an author I would love that (a/n: wink wink). I’ve messaged a few writers complimenting their work without actually telling them who I am.” Anthony said, placing his hand on his friend’s shoulder.

“I’m gonna read more stuff from her before I message her.” Sebastian chuckled. Sebastian clicked onto your main blog page to find that you had just posted a new fic about him. “Wait, dude she just posted a new story...About me!” Sebastian exclaimed, showing his phone to Anthony.

“Nice, but we have to finish these interviews. You gotta read it during your free time man, sorry to crush your dreams.” he chuckled, unbuckling his seat belt and getting out of the car. Sebastian sighed and followed his co-stars actions getting out of the car and continuing the rest of his day filled with interviews.

*later that evening*

After the interviews Anthony and Sebastian had dinner together at a fancy restaurant. During their dinner they talked about how crazy some interviews were. Sebastian brought up the subject of how Mackie publicly announced that he had read fanfiction. With that still stuck in his mind the two finished their meal and after parting ways. Sebastian took a cab and arrived at his apartment, changed out of his fancy suit to some comfy clothes and grabbed a bottle of water from his fridge. He walked over to his couch turning on the tv, not really paying attention to what was playing, grabbing his phone he opened the tumblr app finally creating an account.

*one week later*

Sebastian has read almost all of your works and texting Anthony almost every time after he has finished a new fic giving his reactions to each. He has liked and reblogged everything he has read from you and other writers, but he favors your stuff the most.

Mackie: dude you should tell her you like her stuff and stop texting me!

Seb: Alright I will, I just don't know what to say.

Mackie: Just say you like her work. It's as simple as that.

Seb: okay okay I will

Mackie: ok good, no stop texting my its legit 2 am

Seb: fine

Sebastian opened up the messaging area of the app and began typing away his appreciation to you. He didn’t know why he felt so nervous after he pressed send. Getting out of the app completely he tried to focus on whatever was playing on the tv. Then all of a sudden he heard a notification go off and his phone light up. Looking down on it he saw that it was a notification from you. Again his nervousness took place as he unlocked his phone to read the notification. The app opened and the direct message filled his phone screen.

(a/n: this is my first time using a fake dm thingy so just imagine that Seb is following you)

Seb: Holy shit dude, she actually replied back to me!

Mackie: Well of course she did, she's not a robot. But maybe she is since she’s up so late...

Seb: shut up and why are you still up? I though you were mad at me for texting you

Mackie: well you woke me up so what am i supposed to do

Seb: whatever I’ll let you go

Mackie: alright. bye lover boy

Sebastian shook his head at the text, he went back to the app to reply back to you. “What should I say?” he said to himself. “Maybe she’s in a different time zone or lives across the world or something… Okay okay. Maybe be chill and say I hope i didn’t wake you? No that sounds weird.” he shook his head trying to come up with something to say. Eventually he fell asleep trying to think of what to say to you.

*the next morning/later that day*

Sebastian woke up with his phone gone from his hand. He quickly got out of his bed in panic to look for it. Maybe you had said something to him or he had said something dumb to you. Once he found his phone he quickly unlocked it to check and thank god he didn’t say anything stupid. But he didn’t say anything. He shook his head clearing his thoughts. “Alright I think I know what to say.”

Y/N’s POV

You woke up to the sound of cars honking, groaning you looked at your clock. “How is it already 10 am?” you said aloud to nobody in particular. You sat up on your bed and grabbed your phone scrolling through various social media apps. At the top of your screen you saw a notification from tumblr. Opening the app to the notifications section, you noticed it was a blog that had messaged you from earlier in the morning.

sebstan_fan: Nice to meet you Y/N. I’m Carter. I don’t know where you live, but I just woke up and had a dream about one of your fics. (wow I hope that didn’t sound creepy)

You smiled at the message, since you loved interacting with your followers.

y/b/n: haha its ok. I actually live near New York City and I also woke up. What was your dream about? (if i can ask)

Sebastian’s POV

Sebastian had just finished taking a shower and began preparing his late breakfast. “Holy shit she replied again!” he said to himself looking at the message.

sebstan_fan: Wait, you live near NYC! Me too! Wow such a small world. But anyways my dream was honestly just a reenactment of your fic.

y/b/n: that’s so crazy how we live near each other lol. But that's so cool how you dreamt about my work. You must have really liked it.

sebstan_fan: yeah it was really interesting how you wrote such a life like scenario.

y/b/n: thank you Carter <3

sebstan_fan: ok I now this is random, but what’s your favorite place to eat in New York?

y/b/n: ooh that’s tough. Let’s go with Lombardi’s since its the very first pizza place to open in the US

sebstan_fan: oh wow an excellent choice :)

*a couple weeks later*

You and your new tumblr friend have been talking about one another’s favorite hobbies and interests for the past few weeks. You feel like you have grown a new connection with your new friend and telling them about your shitty days at work. Today your best friend wanted to bring you with her and her boyfriend to some fancy restaurant.

y/b/n: Carter, I’m practically third wheeling with her and her boyfriend.

sebstan_fan: well that sounds awful. Where is she taking you?

y/b/n: idk to some fancy restaurant I’ve never heard of. Anyways she’s making me wear fancy clothes, but I just wanna wear my pajamas!

sebstan_fan: y/n come on. you gotta dress nice if other people are dressing nice too

y/b/n: ughh ok I think I found something nice. *sends picture of yourself in an elegant dress* what about this?

Seb’s POV

Sebastian got a glass of water and sat back down on his couch. Unlocking his phone to see the new dm from you he spit his water out of his mouth wetting the coffee table in front of him. “HOLY SHIT SHE’S GORGEOUS!” he yelled aloud staring at his phone in awe of your beauty.

sebstan_fan: Y/N, you look amazing! That dress is literally making you glow!

y/b/n: stop you’re making me blush..my friend just pulled up. I’ll dm you later once this stupid night is over.

sebstan_fan: alright have fun

y/b/n: <3

Sebastian quickly called Mackie to tell him that you sent him a photo of yourself.

“Dude, she is unbelievably gorgeous. I actually spit my water out all over my coffee table when I saw the picture. ” Sebastian said on the phone.

“Man you are so obsessed with her, it's kinda creepy.” Anthony replied through the phone.

“What? No man, we just clicked. We have a bunch in common and she’s really easy to talk to.” Sebastian gushed to his friend.

“Yeah, but she doesn’t know that you’re lying to her about your real identity. You’re like fucking Superman with a secret persona!” Anthony snickered at the man on the other line.

“Dude no, but I’ll tell her eventually that I’m me.” Seb replied back to Anthony.

“Well you better do it soon because I’m tired of hearing about you gushing over this woman.” Anthony huffed under his breath. “Anyways I gotta go so bye bitch.”

Sebastian laughed at his friend hanging up the phone and heading to his room getting ready for bed. As he laid on his bed he couldn’t take his mind off of you in that dress. You were so open with sharing your life to him, a complete stranger, yet he couldn’t do the same.

*the next day*

y/b/n: Carter! I forgot to dm you once I got home, but that dinner was terrible. I hated every minute of it.

sebstan_fan: what happened? Also good morning :)

y/b/n: good morning, sorry if I woke you. But anyways my best friend and her boyfriend brought some dude to make it a double date and the guy was a complete douche. I couldn’t stand a minute being there.

sebstan_fan: damn I’m sorry to hear that. I bet if I was there with you the night wouldn’t have been so bad haha

y/b/n: creepy..jk But I bet we would have completely ditched my friend and her boyfriend lol

sebstan_fan: wait, I got an idea! I mean since we live around the same area why don’t we meet!

y/b/n: what like in person?

sebstan_fan: no through zoom, yes in person!

y/b/n: wow the sarcasm in this one, but that sounds like a lovely idea. I feel like I already know so much about you tho...

Sebastian huffed under his breath, “not everything.”

sebstan_fan: lol yeah but it’ll be different to meet in person. Anyways where should we meet?

y/b/n: lol that’s true. Well I know this small cafe that’s so cute and I heard they have pretty good pastries. It would be awesome to meet there :D

sebstan_fan: alright how about Saturday afternoon? You don’t have work right?

y/b/n: nope I’m off! but that sounds good to me! I’m so excited and nervous at the same time. Like what if you’re some creepy stalker...

Sebstan_fan: why would you accuse me of such a thing?!

y/b/n: lol you know i’m just messing with you. But I gotta go my friend is now calling me, probably about that douche from last night...but I can’t wait to see you Carter!<3

“Yeah, me too.” Sebastian said to himself smiling.

*Saturday*

You sat at the cafe where you told your new tumblr friend to meet you. You ordered a drink and once it was finished, you grabbed it and sat near the windows saving a seat for Carter. As you waited you pulled out your laptop and began on typing away a new fic idea drawing inspiration from the small cafe and the gloomy weather outside.

“I’m sorry that seat’s taken...” you muttered to a man who pulled out the chain next to you, looking up at the figure. “Holy shit!” you exclaimed to the man who sat next to you.

“Shhhh...Please don’t say anything.” Sebastian whispered to you, sitting on the chair next to you and taking off his sunglasses.

“What? But how? You’re!? I can’t breathe.” you exclaimed erratically looking down at your drink.

“Hey, hey Y/N, just calm down and take slow deep breaths.” he said calmly placing his hand on your back.

“How the fuck do you know my name?!” you exclaimed again staring wide eyed at the actor. “Am I getting pranked or something? Where are the cameras?!” you nervously laughed looking around the empty cafe.

“No, you’re not getting pranked. It’s me Carter…” he said quietly rubbing the back of his head.

“You’re Carter?! I thought you were a girl!” you said looking into the man’s blue eyes.

“I may have lied about who I was, but I wanted to meet you.” he started as he stared down at the ground. “I didn’t want you to freak out knowing that it was actually me.” he said looking back up at you.

“Let me just gather my thoughts for a sec.” you said, putting your hand to your temples.

“Wait, why did you assume I was a girl?” he asked with a smirk.

“I don’t know! Carter is a unisex name.” you frantically said with a shrug. “And I mean most of my followers are female, so I just assumed you were one too.” you added grabbing your drink and taking a sip to calm your nerves.

“That makes sense I guess.” he said chuckling, looking out the big window of the cafe.

“This is so crazy that you are here. Sitting next to me and talking about my stupid tumblr blog.” you uttered. “Like you’re famous!”

“Yeah so what.” he looked back to you.

“I mean aren’t you busy filming and stuff?” you asked the man.

“Nope, we just wrapped up the interviews a couple of weeks ago. I’m on vacation.” he said with a toothy grin, which made you blush. “Aww look she’s blushing.” he said sweetly towards you.

“Shut up. It’s not like I get to meet my favorite actor who I’ve had a crush on since forever sitting next to me and casually conversing with.” you muttered quickly hoping he didn’t hear your profession of love for him.

“You got a crush on me?” he smiled at you.

“Fuck you. I do not!” you exclaimed looking away from him.

“Aww I think you do.” he said, nudging your shoulder.

“Whatever.” you said under your breath trying to hide your embarrassment.

“Hey, I’m in awe too.” he began, which made you look at him. “It’s not like I get to see a beautiful woman who I like.” he smirked at you.

“I think I’m dreaming. Did you just say you like me?!” you asked pinching yourself back into reality.

“I mean yeah. I really like your work as a writer and the past what month we’ve been talking I think you’re a really cool and sweet person.” he said now blushing.

“I bet you say that to all the women you meet.” scoffing at his comment.

“No I’m serious Y/N. I think you’re a really talented writer. And I think you’re also really pretty.” again blushing, but this time he looked straight at you.

“Oh, wow. Thank you so much Sebastian.” you hesitated, your cheeks heating up. “That means a lot coming from you.” you smiled.

“Of course. And also I wanted to ask you in person if after coming clear about who I actually am, if you wanted to go out sometime. I know its weird and all sudden but-”

“Yes!” you exclaimed quickly cutting him off. “I mean. I would love to.” you said more calmly. “God, I’m trying so hard to keep my inner fangirl in.” you huffed under your breath.

Sebastian laughed at your comment and then asked, “Alright then. What about tomorrow I take you out for dinner?”

“That sounds delightful.” you smiled at the man. The two of you fell silent watching the people who passed by the small cafe.

“Oh, but can I ask you one more question? Why are you wearing a hat? And shades earlier? It's legit rainy and cloudy as hell outside.” you asked, looking at the man with your head resting on your hand.

“I’m going incognito. I don’t want my fans to recognize me.” he replied, taking a sip of his coffee.

“Are you embarrassed of them seeing you with me?” you hesitantly interrogated.

“No, I just don't want them to interrupt our first date.” he responded with a smirk looking at you.

“Wait, this is a date?!” you exclaimed with wide eyes.

“Only if you want it to be sweetheart.” Sebastian smirked, winking towards you.

“Fuck you.” You said with a smile.

A/N: Yay you finished! Was that good? bad? cheesy? lemme know lol Again if you wanna be tagged in future fics, have any requests or just wanna chat hit me up! Thank you guys for reading and I hope you get excited for more stuff to come.

Tags: @lostinthoughtsandfeelings @sebtheromanianprince @aquabrie @who-the-hell-is-sebastianstan @princess76179 @anbrax5553 @wintersoldierissucharide @caplanbuckybarnes @miraclesoflove @kitkatd7 @msgreenverse @saiyanprincessswanie @fandomsandxfiles @hailmary-yramliah @coffeebooksandfandom @thefallenbibliophilequote

^please lemme know if you wanna be added to future works or removed for tags^

#Sebastian Stan #sebastian stan fic #sebastian stan fanfiction #sebastian x reader #reader x sebastian #sebastian stan x reader #reader x sebastian stan #sebastian stan x you #you x sebastian #sebastian x you #you x sebastian stan #reader insert #sebastian stan fluff

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sunseteyes · 3 years

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THE BOSS — KAI CHISAKI

—an au where kai is not a killer, but a lover

ㅤㅤ ↪︎ starring: kai chisaki (overhaul)

ㅤㅤ ↪︎ word count: 1.5k words | themes: pre & post world war II. yakuza au. fem!reader. mentions of women discrimination (not that harsh but still). fluff with a bit of angst (if you squint)

ㅤㅤ ↪︎ request: Hi this is my first time asking so i wanted to request a jealous chisaki kai fluff if that’s okay with you...heheh...bai —Anonymous

ㅤㅤ ↪︎ rozé’s voice: this took me awhile but here it is!! since i still have no banner for kai, i decided to do this in my new banner format! what do you guys think?? does it look nice??

the moon was out and the sun was being swallowed by the horizon, saying its goodbye for the meantime as it circles its way only to rise again by tomorrow morning. his eyes glared up on the sky, the orange hues of the sun’s rays reflecting upon them as he waited, the clouds emitting a different shade other than pure white as a result of how the light resonate well with the other contents of the sky.

beneath the comforts of his home, kai found himself drifting into a river of thoughts, wondering where could you have been.

after the world war II, it became difficult to not let the fear inside of kai be eliminated, even if he was sure that you’d be able to make it through the day anyway. after all, you were not just an ordinary yakuza woman.

you were the woman of the group—the boss.

the group was originally your father’s, being the previous boss that ruled everyone and lead them into a success that gave them the ability to be confident to put their trust into him. the boss—your father, he unfortunately passed away and in turn, the responsibility was given to the sole member who carries his very own blood and genes, his only daughter—you.

kai could briefly recall the moment your father had taken him in as part of the group and he eventually met you, who was well-loved by the other members, sooner by him. he believed in your leadership skills and how you coordinated well with others thus, he supported you when you suddenly became a leader in just one day.

during those times, many believed that maybe he should be the one who should be the boss, not a woman. at least even if he was someone from outside, he was a man. however, as soon as he heard of it, he came to you and told you yourself that;

“i believe in you.” kai’s own voice echoes inside of his memory, one that contained a scene where he confronted you one day while you were greeting him like you would every day, whenever you can.

“hm? did you say anything, kai?”

“i believe in your skills in being a good leader.” he faces you then, exactly by the time your face switched into something he couldn’t read. it was one of the things that attracted kai to you—the fascination of being unpredictable. it thrills him; sending jolts in his veins to the tips of his fingers and toes, as if you were a lightning bolt that struck him and kept him impaled with your effect on him.

your smile—it was one of his weaknesses, and in that moment, kai imprinted that image in his mind, tattooing it religiously like a madman.

“thank you kai, i really appreciate you saying that.”

for the first few days of being the boss, kai was glad that you were coping, and that you weren’t letting anyone or anything hinder you from doing your responsibilities. however, that didn’t last much long for the topic of having a husband was brought out by one of the veteran members of the group—those who believed that there should still be a male leader that would keep the stability of the group, as if you weren’t doing that already.

kai only watched from afar as men approached you gradually, statuses from every part of the group coming by with the intention of getting your hand for marriage. as a large group, there was a huge reputation that you should uphold. thus, no one ever approached kai to push him to take you.

he was merely an orphan boy that the boss saved and gave a shelter to. he was nothing more.

when the world war II happened, it was the time you dated another yakuza leader. kai could remember how he felt the crunching in his chest when it happened. the hatred beneath his glares, the hisses in his tone, his temper always setting fire despite being under the rain—he could not stop them,

but since he couldn’t do anything but watch, he lets it be.

it was proved difficult when he saw your exhausted face one day and by that time, he just knew that you weren’t happy with the relationship.

day by day, it was as if your energy was being sucked off by the sun, always robbing you of your smile, the lively glow on your eyes, and the hue of life on your skin. slowly, kai could watched everything unfold.

his chest tightens of the dread of just approaching you, who was currently with your significant other. he needed to give you daily updates since he was basically the one you trusted most out of everyone else in the group, but as he was about to slide open the door to your office, the voices reached his ears.

"you look so tired, don't you think it's time to rest? let me do the paperwork for you."

"no, it's fine. these are my responsibility, you don't have to offer me such a thing." base on your voice alone, kai knew there was something hidden behind it—something only he knows.

so despite the churning on his stomach when he enters the room after being granted entrance, he looks at you on the eye and let the words slip out of his mouth without any other sign of hesitance.

“i think you should take their opinion, boss. it will be best if you rest for awhile if you don’t want to make it worse.”

there was a certain harshness in his tone and he’s quite sure you could sense it, yet despite of it all, you looked at him with the same gentleness that you do every other time, no sign of remorse or irritation that could have told him that something put you off.

it took seconds before you answered—seconds of your significant other glaring daggers at kai, most probably with how he might have ruined a moment that shouldn’t be shared to any other, the sense of their small bubble being popped by a sharp object such as him.

and even without thinking twice, it doesn’t scare kai if he were asked. it actually swells his pride more with how much insecure the other was at his mere presence. and it seems that faith has him on their side as the situation unfolds further.

“maybe you’re right.” you sighed, the noise of the chair dragging onto the wooden floor echoing in the room as you stood up. the person by your side guides you as you walk to the door yet you stopped in front of kai, offering a flustered smile that tells him countless of words that your mouth couldn’t speak of when you say, “thank you, kai. i’m leaving everything to you for now, i apologize. i’ll make it up to you.”

kai then realized that day how stronger the thumping of his heart was than the ache that it felt when he saw you with another person that was not him.

when the relationship broke, kai expected it, and he felt the need to step up when you were being pursued by the same person to get you back to them.

“thank you, kai.” you say to him with the same look that you’d always given him, an exhausted chuckle leaving your lips, “you’ve always looked after me. what can i ever do without you?”

without thinking, the words left his lips without restraint, his mind already set upon the goal no matter how much there was an unlikely others would think it could happen.

“marry me, (y/n).”

he saw how your eyes widen and look straight into his, your entire form frozen and surprised, even the pen that you had between your fingers were up on the air, its ink about to fall down onto the paper if it wasn’t moved away.

kai remained still, his expression firm and serious, his mind already decided and confirmed that he wouldn’t ever regret his question whatever your answer would be. on the outside, his arms were closed into fists, his short nails digging into his own skin from how tight he was gripping his own palm. it was even far worse with how his chest has a pounding heart that rings on his ears and affects the vein on his neck, a line of sweat by his hairline that he was having a difficult time not to raise his hand and get his handkerchief to wipe it off. he had never been this nervous before, nor does he think he will ever do in the future. this moment will remain imprinted on his mind, no chance of ever redeeming it back again.

the touch on his cheek brought him back to reality, his gaze finding yours that looked at him in a way you’ve always did.

“what have you been thinking, love?”

his own hand grasped your own and he sighs, the memories of before slowly fading away as he relishes on the feel of your presence, giving a sense of peace in his chest that surely nothing else could change. nothing should, not now that he has you.

fin

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ㅤㅤ ↪︎ do feel free to send an ask/dm if you want to be included or if there is a specific fandom/character you want to be specifically tagged into!

#kai chisaki #overhaul x reader #chisaki x reader #bnha x reader #chisaki kai imagine #bnha villains #bnha x you

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macbookpro-hard-drive · 3 years

Text

promise [connor m. x reader] pt.2

because i think this is a fitting end to this story. actual notes at the very end of this post, after the fic.

warnings: general swearing. this is a part 2 to a fic on @pacman-tattoo though.

12:23 AM connie: you still awake?

12:26 AM connie: babe.

12:35 AM connie: i’ll be home soon, ok?

12:36 AM connie: traffic is weirdly fucking awful rn and i wish you were here

12:37 AM [y/n]: sorry, i’m here. i was almost asleep.

12:38 AM connie: sorry

12:39 AM [y/n]: make it up to me <3

12:39 AM connie: i will

With a quiet hum, you left your phone back on the nightstand where it had been charging up until the vibrations against wood had pulled you out of your state of near-slumber. Connor rarely worked late, but sometimes he was roped into cleaning more than just the bar itself. It was temporary, he told you over and over. Eventually, he’d get his stupid book of stupid poetry (his words, never yours) and maybe he could go from there. Write more books, make things work, and one day he’d be staying at home and writing poetry while you continued to be the breadwinner once you were out of school for good (your words, occasionally his). Sure, working in an office when you weren’t swamped with classes and making pretty okay money in the meantime hadn’t been your plan originally, but... things happen. Life changed. Connor was a constant for you, though. True to the promise he made to you almost six years ago at eighteen, he never disappeared again. Not the way that he had used to. Sure, there were fights, and he would leave you alone in the living room while he shut himself up in the bedroom and dealt with the flow of emotions that rammed through him, but things worked out. On the worst nights, he’d come back out to find you asleep on the couch, and he’d end up waking you up and the two of you would fix things. He opened up to you, slowly and surely, and things worked. It was hard, certainly, but... the two of you made it work.

And now you were lying in bed in the little apartment that you shared, waiting for him to come home from bartending (Connor Murphy, working in customer service? You never could fully believe it, but he managed) and to climb into bed next to you, and maybe the two of you would talk until you fell asleep.

The sound of jingling keys from the living room caught your attention almost half an hour later, followed by the slamming of a door, and then heavy footsteps. Before you could call out to him, Connor came in through the door, fighting his way out of his shoes, his jacket, his jeans, and soon enough he threw himself directly into the space next to you. For a moment, he was hardened by whatever bullshit he’d faced during the day, but one look at you was enough to soften his gaze.

You sat up, reaching out to brush his hair from his face. “Long day?”

“The fucking worst.”

Despite the aggravation in his voice, you chuckled. “You wanna talk about it?”

He shook his head, hopping back up. “It’s stupid shit,” he said. “Don’t worry about it.” But he paused before he could move away, dipping forward to press a kiss against your lips. “It’s fine,” he said again. “I promise.”

As he walked away, you merely watched as he began to strip out of his clothing before changing into a faded band t-shirt that often was used by one of you as a sleeping shirt. You admired him for a moment. Six years ago, he was... thinner. Bonier. Ever since things had shifted between the two of you, he’d put on a bit of weight (enough to become less of a bean-pole and more... okay) and he generally seemed brighter, if you were honest. Maybe that was what getting out the Murphy house did for him. He’d cut his hair, although it still stayed long enough to hang in his face if he wasn’t careful. As much as you missed the long locks, you were happy. He’d begun taking care of himself. He had his off days, and you knew that, but he seemed to genuinely be trying for you, and he was trying for himself, too.

“You like the show?”

You couldn’t help but snort. “Maybe I do,” you reached toward him, doing grabby hands. “C’mere,” you whined quietly. “I wanna cuddle.”

He scoffed at the notion, but climbed into bed next to you a moment later nonetheless. Instead of folded into your arms, he pulled you closer, wrapping himself securely around you, cocooning you in his warmth. The faint smell of his cologne still stuck to him, and you happily buried your face in his neck before pressing a soft kiss against his skin.

“Sometimes,” his voice vibrated in his chest, and although you went to move, he kept his hold on you. So you relaxed into him, and he continued, “I think about when we got together.”

“Mmhm?”

“I was dealing with a lot,” he said, lowering his voice. “Fuck, you know how many problems I had, and...” He paused for a moment, nuzzling his face into your hair just for a second. “And I’m glad I got help.” He corrected himself barely a second later, “I’m getting help.” When you didn’t respond, he continued on, “I’m glad it’s working.”

“I am, too,” you admitted against his skin, and he hummed in acknowledgement. “I’m glad you’re here.”

He ran a hand up and down your back, and the motion soothed you slightly. “I was scared I was depending on you entirely,” he shut his eyes. “I thought that if you weren’t here, I couldn’t be happy. But... I got better,” he said. “I’m better. I have... friends,” he said after a moment of hesitation. “I’m writing. I’m not fucking paranoid all the time. But...” He drew away from you, hands reaching up to cup your face, smushing your face slightly. “I do have you. I’m glad you stayed.”

“Someone’s sappy tonight,” you pulled a hand away. “I’m glad you stayed, too.”

“Sometimes I think I don’t deserve you,” he said, and the air grew tense for a moment. He... wasn’t being sappy, he was being honest. “But, I think... I think now I’ve learned that even with my bullshit, I... I think I deserve good things, sometimes.”

“You do,” you reached up to trail a thumb along the apple of his cheek. “Just because you fucked up and got angry at people and dealt with a lot doesn’t mean you’re not worth loving.”

He chuckled, and he said your name gently. “No wonder you’re trying to become a therapist.”

You leaned forward, pressing your forehead against his own for a moment. “I wanna help people,” you said. “I wanna help teenagers like you who needed it. I didn’t give up on you then, and I don’t want to give up on my future patients.”

“Even if you’re not what they need?”

“Especially if I’m not what they need,” you said. “I’ll find them someone else. Just because I can’t help them wouldn’t mean that I can’t help them find someone who can.”

There was softness in his eyes as he kissed you gently. No more scent of cigarettes and the taste of smoke (he’d given that up long ago, just so he could have longer with you), but he still held the same warmth he did the first time you kissed. “I love you.”

So you settled into his arms after giving him one last kiss. “I love you, too, Connor.”

So... I’d like to take a moment to talk, since, uh, it feels right to.

I started writing musical reader inserts back in 2017, shortly after my 17th birthday, and the first one I wrote was a Connor Murphy fic titled “Promise.” Which... is why I feel that this is a fitting ending for my writing. I don’t remember the last fic I wrote for this blog, but I never felt completely satisfied in saying “I’m done writing reader fics for musicals” since... nothing felt like an ending.

Of course, I’ll still sorta be lingering around this blog if anyone wants to DM me or send in an ask, but I’m not gonna write anymore. I sorta stopped once I got to college since I didn’t exactly have the time to do it as often anymore (and I sorta lost interest in writing for musicals, actually, since I do write elsewhere sometimes), but... that’s beside the point.

A... lot has happened since I posted that first fic. I dated someone for the first time, ended things with them, and then I fucked up majorly with some things that happened afterward. I’m still atoning for it, and maybe I never will fully do so, but it’s one of my deepest regrets. Of course, I’ve... learned I’m not the only person at fault in the situation (more like I was manipulated, but I’m not going to deny my own part there), but I think coming to the realization that I wasn’t alone there... helped. I lost a few friends, and I kept everyone else for the most part. For a really, really long time, I always wondered why. I had fucked up so majorly, I couldn’t comprehend why my friends stayed with me.

And... It’s because we love each other. I fucked up, sure, but... they knew who I was as a person. These people didn’t abandon me because they saw me for who I am. I explained what happened, I showed anger and frustration and melancholy for everything that I (and the other person at fault) had done, and... they weren’t going to cast me out in my hour of need. I had made the group chat we all met in, and I tried to take an interest in everyone as best as I could. I became a different person when I was with my ex, and... and I never want to be that person ever again. I was petty, and spiteful, and when I look at who I became, I realize that I’d been changed for the worst. I like to think I’ve gotten better, and maybe that’s because of the stupid fucking trauma making me realize my place.

But... I love my friends. I love them so, so much. I don’t think I’d still be here if it weren’t for them. It’s been a pretty wild ride, and I’ve written so much for these fandoms (although admittedly not in recent years) but... I’m proud of what I have done. I love writing so, so much, and it’s always going to be a part of who I am, no matter what route I end up taking. While I can look back on some of my writing and laugh because it’s cringe-y and clumsy and I’ve definitely improved, it’s still something I did.

Even if this post doesn’t get a single note, I’m... still proud of what I’ve done and how far I’ve come, and I thank anyone reading this for coming with me on this journey. Please, take care of yourselves. Be kind. It’s okay to have bad days: even flowers need a little rain to grow.

But most importantly: love yourself and love the people that want you to be better.

Thanks, gamers. Feel free to hit me up anytime.

~ Minerva “Minni” @mango-juiiice

#mj's writing corner #dear evan hansen x reader #deh x reader #dear evan hansen imagine #dear evan hansen reader insert #Connor Murphy x Reader #connor murphy imagine #connor murphy reader insert

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keiyoomi · 4 years

Text

❝you should’ve told me❞

☾ pairing: oikawa tōru x reader; (ft. oc)

☾ genre: angst

☾ word count: 1,372 words

☾ note: i’m still adjusting with the sudden changes. i’m not comfortable writing using my phone. 😭 anyway, i’ll rewrite this one. i’m not sure when, but i will. rewritten.

☾ currently playing on repeat: 'di sapat pero tapat by this band

☾ three types of people

"Eh? Y/N-chan, you weren't with Oikawa?" Issei asked as soon as you've approached him and Hiro during your breaktime. The two of them shared a look before Hiro shook his head. "Don't worry, we'll send you a message if we see him," he added earning a bright smile from you before you walked towards your classroom.

You pursed your lips before glancing at the empty seat of Mariko. Fate must've thought it would be funny if you'll be placed in the same class as Oikawa's ex-girlfriend. You sat on your seat near the window before placing the bento box you've worked hard for earlier today.

'He's probably eating somewhere. Pretty sure he wouldn't mind if I eat his share. Right,' you told yourself while eating an early lunch. You took a spoonful of rice before brushing the tears from your cheeks. 'He's probably with her again. . . I shouldn't have tried my luck with him. H-He should've just rejected my confession.' You were sobbing while eating until you've finished your early lunch.

Coincidentally, Mariko returned to her seat with the brightest smile on her lips. She smirked at your direction before squealing with her friends. "Few more hours," you whispered before looking outside the window. Cool wind brush your skin making you close your eyes for a brief moment.

"Everyone, I have an announcement to make," your class adviser began. "You'll spend your last period in the gym. Yes, it is for your upcoming graduation ceremony." Everyone cheered, aside from you. How could you possibly celebrate when you're fully aware that your beloved boyfriend will spend the rest of the day spewing excuses.

When everyone gathered at the gym, you immediately approached Hajime. You noticed how he curled his hand into fist, ready to punch your boyfriend on his face, but you hold his wrist. He looked at your face, but you smiled at him as you shook your head. "You don't have to, Hajime," you whispered. "I. . . I'm ending things with him."

His lips parted as he looked at you. He's probably thinking that you were possessed by an unknown force, making you say things opposite to what you used to say whenever you swoon over his bestfriend. "When?"

You pursed your lips. "Later and I'm gonna need your help." His eyebrows furrowed. "Invite him to the ramen shop. I'll come with you."

"Then?"

"Maybe you could make up some excuse that you'll stay behind with Hiro and Issei."

Hajime held your shoulder, making you look at him. "Are you sure about this, Y/N?" he asked.

"Yes. I can't keep on holding onto someone who wasn't reaching out to me in the first place." You forced a smile. "Please, Hajime."

He sighed before glancing at Issei and Hiro. "But don't expect us to stay still in there. We'll follow you until we're sure that you got home safely," he responded.

You sighed exasperatedly before nodding your head. If there's something you gained from your relationship, it's the three dorks who are always there when you needed them.

“That was exhausting!” Hiro complained as he leaned against the back of the chair. You nodded your head in agreement before leaning your head on Tōru’s shoulder. “I swear, if we were asked to repeat singing the same song again, I’d flip!”

“Maybe you were just a bad singer,” Issei teased earning a smack from Hiro.

“At least, my voice isn’t deep and scary as fuck!”

Laughter filled the your table as the two continued to bicker. Oddly, your boyfriend—who would typically add more oil to the fire—was quiet while staring at a distance.

“Tōru, are you alright?” you asked. He blinked before looking at his friends then to you. He placed a gentle kiss on your temple before smiling.

You didn’t noticed the looks exchanged between Hiro, Issei and Hajime. Haji discreetly pointed at the nearby table and Hiro and Issei immediately looked at that direction.

They shook their heads before raising their eyebrows at Tōru.

“I’ll just go to the washroom for a bit,” you said before standing up. On your way to the washroom, you saw a familiar face sitting few tables away from yours. It was Mariko.

“OI, STOP STARING at Mariko,” Iwaizumi scolded after hitting his arm. Oikawa pouted his lips while rubbing his—now—sore arm. “If you hurt Y/N, I’ll smack you in the face.”

“I’ll hold his arm,” Issei added while scowling at Oikawa.

“Me too,” Makki said before your orders arrive. After thanking the server, he looked at his friend again. “You’ve been spacing out the entire day.”

“During the graduation practice, you kept on looking at Mariko’s direction.” Issei shook his head. “I couldn’t believe that Mariko and Y/N are classmates.”

Iwaizumi scowled at his bestfriend. “You’re not as shitty as I think you are, right? You’re not dating Y/N just to make Mariko jealous?”

Oikawa remained silent. He quietly slurped the bowl of ramen in front of him, ignoring the questions thrown by his bestfriend. He was uncertain, to be honest.

You sat next to him after using the washroom. He noticed how your hand was shaking. Oikawa glanced to you. Your eyes were swollen as you forced a smile at him.

“Thank you for the food,” you said cheerfully before eating your order. Issei, Makki and Iwaizumi looked at each other before throwing a glare at Oikawa.

“Y/N-chan, are you alright?”

“H-Hm? O-Of course, I am. Why would I not be?”you asked before telling them to eat their ramens before it gets cold.

THE two of you were the first to left the ramen shop. You wanted to wait for Iwaizumi to make the atmosphere between you and Tōru to be less awkward, but he said that Hiro and him were planning to stay at Issei’s tonight.

The two of your were silent as you walked side by side with your boyfriend. You couldn’t get yourself open a topic that would hurt you. You sighed heavily before looking at the midnight blue sky.

“Beautiful, aren't they?" you asked while staring at the stars. "They remind me of you." Oikawa glanced at your direction, confused and shocked. "They're beautiful, but unreachable. You can only admire them from afar." You chuckled before tears began to stream down your cheeks. "And maybe seeing them upclose is merely a dream."

"Y/N. . ."

"Let's stop this, Toru."

He stopped walking beside you upon hearing those words. Your voice was quivering.

"What do you mean?"

"I know everything, Toru. How you spend more time with her during your free time. How you walk her home every night while your friends accompany me. How you keep on feeding me lies and excuses just to spend more time with her." You brushed the tears on your face before facing him. "I know everything and it hurts. It hurts so bad, Toru."

He tried to wrap his arms around you, but you stopped him. "Don't try to comfort me, Toru. Don't try to make another excuse. I. . . I'm tired of fighting for whatever he have. . . Whatever we had. Set me free, Toru." You sobbed as you plead. "Y-You'll be able to love her whenever you want if you set me free. Y-You'll stop hurting me if you set me free."

"I-I'm sorry."

You smiled bitterly. "You should've rejected me when I confessed. You should've rejected me just like what you do with those girls before me." You nipped your lower lip as you sob. "It would've hurt less."

Oikawa stiffened, guilt flooded his system. "I-I'm sorry."

"Goodbye, Toru. I hope. . . I hope you wouldn't do this to other people in the future just because you're afraid to feel alone. . . just because your heart was broken."

☾ taglist: @haikyuu-ink ; @kenchiko ; @agaassi ; @benvo ; @sadsugarplumm ; @yams046 ; @ ; tba (send an ask or dm if you’d like to be added/removed!)

#keiyoomi: angst #keiyoomi: masterlist #hq!! x reader #hq!! x reader angst #hq!! angst #oikawa x reader #oikawa angst #oikawa tōru x reader #oikawa touru x reader #oikawa touru x reader angst #oikawa tōru x reader angst

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angelicymp · 3 years

Text

Perhaps a little coaxing is needed...

Good evening my literary friends,

I am hoping to find a suitable partner for specific cravings and ideas I have in mind.

My introduction will be brief and a bit more to the point than usual. I am quite thorough and detail-oriented when it comes to being a writer, including some of my rules and preferences. However, since I believe it to be quite a hassle to go through every point I’m making, my ad will be a bit more compact.

A brief recap: You can call me Imp; I am in my twenties and a student, striving to become a part-time freelancer as well. My main hobbies are photography, traveling, drawing and of course, the art of writing. Currently, I reside in Europe, so my timezone could differ from yours, unless you are also from a similar region.

Be sure to read through my ad to see if we’re compatible. Too many times I’ve encountered cases where the inquirers skimmed through all of the info and upon messaging me, were surprised to learn that we weren’t a match from the beginning. So if you haven’t properly read my ad, I’ll know. I’d like to urge everyone to stick with it so there won't be any misunderstandings and not waste everyone’s time.

————————

 Me, myself and I

(art by: Ayami Kojima)

♦ Nickname: Imp

♦ Experience: 12 years and counting

♦ Style: 1:1 with the inclusion of doubling

♦ Rating: Mature

♦ Roleplaying Platform: Email and Google Docs

♦ Chatting Platform: Email, Google Hangouts or Discord

♦ Pet peeves: Slice of Life

 After finishing the game of Resident Evil 8 Village, I was struck by yet another muse.

I am currently looking for either a pre-existing canon inspired roleplay, or, something completely original. Be sure you are above the age of eighteen, preferably 21 and upwards. I will not accept any inquires from minors - this is not negotiable.

What to expect

♢ Content: Mature. I am more interested in darker things like horror, occultism, the supernatural, you can maybe guess where I am going with this. My limits are few, safe for a couple of minor pet peeves that I have, I am pretty much open to some experimentation; such as violence, gore and sexual themes. When it comes to heavy scenes, I will not fade to black, unless it serves no purpose to the story. Not a huge fan of censorship. However, I will not force or push my partner into something they are not comfortable with. If you want to know the extent to how far I am willing to go, what sort of content, or how graphic my writing will be, you can ask me directly.  

♢ Rating: I have little to no issues with delving into more sensitive topics. Since reality is often stranger than fiction, it is very interesting to explore all sides of human nature, including the less comfortable subjects such as psychology, crime, etc. But I also like to remind that this is a world of fiction and no one in their right mind would condone such things in real life. The world of adults is not easy to handle, but it sure is interesting to explore. So if you are a gentle soul and can’t take the heat of more serious moments within the roleplay, be it a character going through trying times, etc; this might not be ideal for you.

♢ Writing: My texts are considerably lengthy, detailed, and elaborate. Third-person is usually my preferred way of playing my character unless there’s a special case where an exception can be made. Word count usually fluctuates, though I have a standard form of 400-500+ words per reply. It also highly depends on the given situation.

♢ Romancing: I admit to being a hopeless romantic. There’s nothing more enjoyable than witnessing good and powerful chemistry between two characters. Preferably I go for the usual MxF pairing dynamic but I am also open to FxF and MxM, should it feel more fitting. While doubling, I can write the character/love interest to my partner’s desire, but I always aim to stay true to their personality and character. I hate nothing more than forcing characters into a relationship, especially if there’s no spark, so I won’t respond well to being pressured into letting characters act out of their personality. It’s just not realistic. As for smut, or what have you, I have no issues with adding a few spicy scenes, sometimes even drawing them out of our pleasure. When there is, however, a running theme where sexual themes are taking the focal point of the plot, it can become quite boring. It is never the center of any of my roleplays, so be warned.

♢ Plotting: I am fairly quick when it comes to building new characters, concepts, premises, storylines, backstories, etc. It allows me a certain latitude. Feel free to communicate your ideas and thoughts with me. I am happy to chat, even when it doesn’t involve the roleplay directly. Though this is a hobby, I am still extremely passionate about good storytelling and interesting character arcs. I hope to meet someone who is just as enthusiastic and willing to put in the same amount of effort. If it’s only me who’s pulling all the weight, I will lose interest and feel forced to end the correspondence.

No gos

♦ Won’t do: Pedophilia, Necrophilia, Bestiality, Scat, Vore, Toilet Play, etc. I am sure you can also think of many other strange fetishes that have developed over the years spent on the internet.

♦ Won’t write: The idea of supernatural beings trying to fit into human society. The typical bully x victim storyline. The run-of-the-mill vampires vs werewolf plot. BDSM centred stories. Slice of life. Flawless or excessively flawed characters.

What I expect

♢ Literacy: You should at least have a decent grasp of basic grammar and coherency in your spelling.

♢ Flexibility: Since we all have lives outside of the roleplay, we both need to be flexible. Sometimes our schedules may differ, and if life is currently intervening, we can take things a bit easier. Plus, I can’t always respond every second of every day, either. This should be considered a hobby and not a job. If a hiatus is on the rise, there is no problem with putting things on ice until things clear up.

♢ Experience: And by that, I don’t mean how many years you’ve roleplayed, rather the experience that comes with age and emotional maturity. Especially if you want to write stories with grit.

♢ Open to doubling: Quick explanation. Doubling is when we play two main characters each. The dynamic is as follows; I write your chosen love interest against your main character while you do the same for me.

♢ Long term: Only long-term partnerships.

♢ Sharing the spotlight: Don’t forget, this is all about you too! Let me know all your specific cravings, interests, or wants that you want to be included into the roleplay.

Cravings

♦ Urban fantasy: Supernaturals, demons, spirits, vampires, you name it. I’d be more interested in something original and unique, especially when it comes to vampirism and demonic entities.

♦ Dark Sci-Fi: So this is a bit inspired by Resident Evil. A world where monsters become a vicious reality, generating fear among the people they come in contact with. But as it turns out, these monsters are not supernatural, but rather infected or mutated by a virus that cannot be explained.

♦ History, mythology, and folklore: An interesting take on the historical timeline, where legends and myths were once a reality. However, their existence was greatly misrepresented in the storybooks, sometimes even completely distorted. Our characters could be accidental time travelers who have been sent from the future to see it with their own eyes. Inspirations are mostly Slavic, European, and ancient folklore from all over the world.

♦ Crime with a dark twist: Mafias, organized crime, and corrupted politicians run this town. All of them have one thing in common. A particular drug that grants humans superhuman abilities; but at a cost. The drug will turn force the users to reject their humanity to instead embrace their monstrosity.

Canon & Fandoms

♢ Castlevania: Rather the original games than the Netflix series. But I am also not opposed to tackling the Netflix universe.

♢ Devil May Cry: Every game is game. Except for the reboot. Never played that one.

♢ Invincible: Not so invincible.

♢ Resident Evil: Village is one of the best games I’ve ever played. Periodt.

♢ Harry Potter: Next gen anyone?

————————

If you made it this far, I am glad you managed to hold on, lol. If you found what I wrote, agreeable and have a similar interests to mine, feel free to message me on this email adress.

You can also contact me via DM on my Tumblr blog, though preferably, I would rather be more receptive on Email since I am more active there. And it’s a lot more personal as well.

Email: [email protected]

Hope to see you there.

I wish you all a lovely day my fellow readers!

-Imp

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screadingchallenge · 2 years

Text

Behind the Keyboard-Volume 15

Please note that Behind the Keyboard will be posted once per week during the Reading Challenge. We’ll go back to twice a week in mid-August.

Behind the Keyboard is a series of interviews with different Schitt’s Creek fanfic authors. The series will last as long as there is interest (from authors) and capacity (from me). If you are an author from the Schitt’s Creek fandom who would like to participate, send a DM to this account.

Each author was given ten questions. The first five questions are the same for every author, the last five will vary.

Remember, this year’s Reading Challenge begins July 15, so polish up those MFL lists.

Let’s meet our next author:

NeelyO / @neelyo67

How many fics have you written?

64 total—33 of them in Schitt’s Creek (17 in Schitt’s Creek RPF)

When did you publish your first fic on AO3?

October 30, 2019!

Describe your writing process from “Oh, I have an idea” to pushing publish on AO3.

I get an idea, open a doc, and then I get nervous! But then I start putting words down—I usually get an idea about how I want something to start off, so I write pretty much in order till I get stuck and then I’ll put brackets for future Neely to deal with. It helps to have a friend scream encouragement, so I usually share my doc with someone I trust so that they can cheerlead for me. If it’s a bigger story, or if it’s for a fest, I’ll have a friend beta for me when I’ve got a pretty good draft done to be sure I didn’t miss anything and that everything makes sense. Then comes the trauma of choosing a title and writing a summary, and then BOOM it’s published!

Tell me about your most recent fic? What do you love about it? Is there anything you think you could have done better?

My most recent fic is 1. He loves his husband. It was based on a prompt that several friends all decided to fill, using 300 words or less. I like challenges like that, I like prompts, so it was so fun. I love that the title for the fic and the idea to make it part of a list came to me almost immediately, fully formed. That was energizing and fun, and the whole story flowed really easily as I was writing. While I know I can always improve and learn and grow, I really like how the fic turned out! I’m super happy with it.

What advice would you give to someone who’s thinking about publishing their fic for the first time?

Please do it! Write a story that you love, do the best you can, and take the leap. I hadn’t written for pleasure in years and years, and I was really nervous when I first got an idea that I couldn’t shake. I never intended to write fic, I was just going to be a reader. It was so empowering to put something on AO3, something I made. I’d also suggest leveraging your friends to support your writing process and your post-publishing anxiety. I was brave with that first fic because of the encouragement of my friend @this-is-not-nothing, who kept telling me I could do it! And knowing that I have at least a couple of good friends who will read anything I write, even in a niche fandom where I’m truly writing basically for myself, is really lovely.

Tell me about a story that you wish you could write but that you’re not quite ready to tackle.

I have an idea for a historical AU that would be kinda long, maybe? I’ve gotten as far as the majority of the casting, but I need to get brave and dive into it. I’ve not done a true longfic, and I’m not even sure how long this one would be, but I’m so in awe of all our SC writers who really, really do longfic well.

Alexis is trapped in a drug lord’s palace and you have to convince her captors to read your fic in order to free her. What’s your best sales pitch for your favorite fic?

(Picking one favorite is incorrect, they are all my bebés, but I will play along here.) Hello drug lord people, since you obviously like Alexis, I’d like to tell you about my very fluffy fic We Must Let Go to Know What’s Right. On the night of the infamous barbecue, both Alexis and Rachel are sad. But then they discover that hooking up makes them less sad, and that building a relationship together makes them happy! Oh, and Rachel has two kittens!

Do you write for any other fandoms? Which ones?

Oo, yes! I’ve written Schitt’s Creek RPF, as I mentioned, along with some Supernatural, Red White and Royal Blue, Ted Lasso, 911 Lone Star, Broadway RPF, and Great British Bake Off RPF.

What is your comfort fic?

Oh gosh—I love all things magical, and also anything domestically fluffy, and so many other genres and tropes…but I don’t have a particular fic I look to for comfort, really.

Is there someone(s) who has made your writing better? In what way?

We have so many amazing authors in the SC fandom, I feel like all the fic I’ve read over the last three years has made me better. Seeing all the different styles and approaches that different people take with the same group of characters has allowed me to dream and write the things that speak to me in my own way. I also think that being a beta has made me a better writer. I love encouraging, brainstorming, and editing, all of which are things I’ve gotten to do as a beta. Getting an in-depth look at another writer’s process, and being a small part of it, is an honor and a privilege, and has been a great learning experience for me.

#behind the keyboard #meet the authors #sc fic reading challenge #sc reading challenge #sc fanfic #schitt's creek #schitts creek

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storiesforallfandoms · 4 years

Text

fixed ~ machine gun kelly

part one

word count: 1893

request?: technically yes

description: after months of trying to prove himself to her, colson decides to do the ultimate gesture to prove his love for her

pairing: machine gun kelly x female!reader

warnings: swearing

masterlist

Months passed and Colson and I began dating again. It wasn’t my intention to let him back in that fast, I was going to make him work for it. But after being together for five years, Colson knew more about me than I even knew about myself, meaning he knew how to win me over very quickly.

Although we decided to resume our relationship, I still didn’t completely trust Colson yet. Every time he talked about having to leave for tour I cringed, whenever he went out with friends I got paranoid about who he was with, and whenever he posted pictures on Instagram or sent out tweets I was always scoping out to see who was commenting and liking (specifically, if Sommer was commenting and liking).

I tried to keep all this hidden at first as I didn’t want Colson thinking I was being clingy or anything, but then I realized I had every right to be acting this way. He didn’t give me any reason to trust him, not after he cheated on me with a girl he was constantly telling me he didn’t care about. So I decided to confront him about it.

“Do you still talk to Sommer?” I asked one day while we were cuddling on the couch.

Colson shook his head. “Nope, haven’t heard from her in months. Last I heard from the guys, she went back to her boyfriend and everything is all fine between them.”

I cringed to myself, although I wasn’t exactly one to talk considering I was back together with Colson. I wondered if Sommer’s boyfriend even knew that she cheated on him. The pictures the paparazzi had taken managed to hide her face, it could’ve been easy for her to play it off as if it wasn’t her.

I tried to stop thinking about it. Thinking about her was going to make me so angry when I really didn’t have to.

“Why?” Colson asked, moving so he could look down at me.

I shook my head. “It’s nothing, sorry I asked.”

“No seriously, tell me.”

I sighed heavily and sat up. Colson propped himself up against the arm rest to look at me. I couldn’t face him as I began to explain. “Part of me is still just...paranoid I guess. Whenever I see that you’ve posted something I keep looking at it expecting to see her in the comments, or on Twitter. And I feel bad about it but at the same time you gotta understand that you still haven’t completely won my trust back yet, especially when I really don’t know if you are still talking to Sommer, or if she’s still trying to interact with you despite everything that’s happened.”

I let my words hang in the air for a minute. Colson’s face was unreadable. Part of me was wondering if this would result in a fight, and if it did what should my reaction have been? I wasn’t going to feel sorry for not completely trusting him just yet. It had only been a few months, trust isn’t rebuilt that fast. If he was angry because of that, maybe it would be best to breakup. But at the same time, I did feel like a prying, untrusting girlfriend, even if I did have a reason to be that way. I felt conflicted, and the longer the silence lasted, the more my heart raced with worry and nervousness.

Colson held his arms out to me. Confused, I leaned into his embrace. He turned me around so I was sitting with my back against his chest as he grabbed his phone from the coffee table in front of us. He went to his contacts first, scrolling till his found Sommer’s name. My eyes widened in shock as he not only deleted her number, but blocked it from his phone as well. He went on to delete their text conversations (the last of which being from the day after the incident, where he told Sommer it would never happen again and Sommer left him on read), and to unfollow and block her on all forms of social media.

“There,” he said, placing his phone back on the table once he was finished. “Let’s see her trying to reach me after that.”

I looked at him in shock. I wasn’t sure what to expect to happen, but it certainly wasn’t for him to do that.

“I love you more than anything, (Y/N),” he told me. “Honestly, I’d block every slutty groupie that tries to slide into my DMs if I could, but that would take me hours. Although I can’t do that, I hope this small act of blocking Sommer will show you that I’m serious about our relationship. I don’t want to risk losing you again, and I will never do anything to risk that ever again.”

I lunged into Colson’s arms the minute the last word was out of his mouth, knocking the air out of him and causing him to start laughing. He wrapped his arms around me and I kissed him deeply and passionately.

Okay, maybe the trust was beginning to be rebuilt just a little.

~~~~~~

A few days later, I came home after work to find all the nights off in our house, with the exception of a glowing light coming from the kitchen.

“Colson?” I called as I approached the kitchen slowly.

The kitchen was set up with a handful of candles placed around on the counters and one in the middle of our dinner table, which had two places set across from one another. Colson was leaning against the table, wearing a pair of jeans and his nicest dress shirt. He smiled at me as I walked in.

“Welcome home, baby,” he said, crossing the room to give me a hug and kiss.

“What is all this?” I asked, motioning towards the table.

“I decided I wanted to set up a stay at home date night for us,” he explained. “You know I’m an awful cook, so I hope you don’t mind that I ordered some delivery instead. I even bought you a new dress to wear, too.”

I looked up at him with slight suspicion, but I definitely was not about to pass up a beautiful dinner date and a new dress.

I raced upstairs to our shared bedroom, where I found a beautiful black dress waiting for me. It came down to my knees and hugged me in a way that showed off my every curve and my cleavage, which I’m sure was Colson’s goal when he bought it. Still, I wasn’t about to complain. It was gorgeous. Usually, I would do my hair and makeup for a date with Colson, but since we were going to be staying home I decided to just take my hair out of its ponytail and leave it however it decided to fall, and went back downstairs with my neutral work makeup still on.

Like a gentlemen, Colson held my seat out for me and pushed it in as I sat down. He poured the both of us glasses of red wine and took his seat across from me.

“Okay, who are you and what have you done with my boyfriend?” I teased. “I don’t think you’ve been this romantic in our entire five years of dating.”

“I totally have!” he argued. “Our first date I took you to a fancy restaurant.”

“You tried to take me to a fancy restaurant. But then you realized you needed a reservation, and you didn’t have one, so we ended up going to a local diner or something.”

“You loved and still do love that diner, don’t even try to say you don’t.”

“Yeah you’re right, I do. It’s better than most fancy restaurants.”

“I’ll cheers to that.” I laughed as Colson tapped his wine glass against mine. “I just wanted to plan a nice, surprise dinner date for us. I may or may not have googled the idea, though, so you have caught me at being an awful romantic.”

“I think the word you’re looking for is hopeless, because you’re not awful. I love it, thank you baby.”

The date went perfectly. The food Colson ordered was delicious and we spent hours just talking and drinking the wine until the bottle was empty and I was starting to feel as though I had definitely drank at least half a bottle of wine.

Colson cleared away the dishes, absolutely refusing to let me do anything to help, so I just sat and waited to see what he had up his sleeve next. With the kitchen so dim besides the candles, I could only faintly see him as he walked in and put the dishes into the sink. He paused there a moment, and I figured I was about to be have another surprise, and I was right, but I could never expect this surprise.

Colson returned from the kitchen with a nervous look on his face. I looked up at him in concern and opened my mouth to ask what was going on, but my question quickly faded into a gasp when he lowered himself onto one knee and produced a ring from behind his back.

"I know the timing of this...probably could not be any worse,” he started. “I know we’re still in the process of fixing our relationship, so I understand if you say no, but I wanted to even just ask to see what you might say. (Y/N), I love you so much. I have since we first met. These past five years have been the best of my life. I couldn’t be happier with anyone else. I had planned to do this when I got back from tour, but of course I managed to royally fuck up our relationship before that. I can’t picture a future that doesn’t have you in it, whether it’s as my wife or even just as my girlfriend. I want to be with you for the rest of my life. (Y/N), will you marry me?”

Tears started to form in my eyes, and I was definitely very glad I decided not to do my makeup.

My words were caught in my throat and I couldn't get them out. I could see the concern growing on Colson’s face the longer I stayed silent. Finally, I managed to control my head enough to nod and a smile so bright that I was sure it could light up the room brighter than the candles broke across Colson’s face.

“Yes?” he asked.

I nodded and finally managed to get the words out. “Yes, Colson. Yes, oh my God yes, I’ll marry you!”

He lifted me from the chair and held me in his arms, kissing me so passionately that my head was beginning to spin, or maybe that was from the excitement of being engaged, and also the wine.

“Can I have the ring?” I asked when we finally managed to pull apart from one another.

“Oh yeah, yes. Here.”

He took my left hand and slid the ring onto my ring finger. It was gorgeous, and I couldn’t take my eyes off of it until I looked up at Colson and attached my lips to his again.

“I love you so much,” I said.

“I love you too, (Y/N).”

#machine gun kelly #machine gun kelly imagine #machine gun kelly x reader #colson baker #colson baker imagine #colson baker x reader #mgk #estxx #imagine #one shot #request #part two

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tar-oh · 3 years

Text

Pick-A -Pile: What will the rest of November be like for you?

Howdy there, folks! Sorry it’s been a while. But here I am! I have 3 new decks, so I wanted to use those. I have the Cosmic Tarot deck, which I’m excited to use because it’s from the 90′s. It’s also based somewhat off of old movie stars, too. It’s one of the most interesting decks I’ve seen just because of the interpretation the artist had on some cards, but I find that they’re fun to read intuitively. I also got the Light Seer’s Tarot from my best friend for my birthday. That one is fun because the artwork is beautiful and it’s got a lot of bright colors. The last is a new oracle deck I got called the Seasons of the Witch: Samhain Oracle, which is based around Halloween/Samhain. t’s very much Halloween/witch themed and has beautiful artwork and poetry on it. I also pulled moonology cards for each pile.

The question I asked for each pile was just what the rest of November will be like for you. I think it’s just better sometimes to let what needs to come through come through, and I have to say that there was a lot of healing and change that came through for each pile.

Here’s the piles to pick from:

So:

Pile 1 is the Opalite

Pile 2 is the Rose Quartz

Pile 3 is the Carnelian

I need to say that this is a general reading. It’s for a bunch of different people, so it’s not specific, nor does it mean it will resonate with you. If it doesn’t, I have a few other readings on my blog that aren’t time-specific and may give you insight. Otherwise, I may not be the reader for you. If you would like to reach out for a personal reading, my DM’s are always open and I will try to answer it ASAP. I recently got a cashapp, so if you’d like to tip (it’s not necessary), it’s $sarams.

SO. THAT BEING SAID ONTO THE READINGS:

Pile 1: Opalite

Cards: strength, 6 of pentacles, the moon, 8 of wands, 5 of cups, page of pentacles, 2 of wands, banshee, new moon in sagittarius

There's one word that keeps showing up with these cards for me, and that's CHANGE. The Banshee warns of you blocking change. New Moon in Sag suggests you might change your mind on something. The strength card in this particular deck suggests the transformation of energy. So, the word for your November is Change and I think these cards are saying that there will be change for you, but how it goes, it's up to you. You're asked to get out there. And by that, I don't necessarily mean going out and about (especially for those that COVID is still around, be safe guys!). I mean whatever that means for you. So for some, you want to put something on the internet. For example, if you're thinking of starting a new blog or even a youtube channel, this spread is telling you to do that. There's a lot of pentacles and wands in this spread. That tells me there's a lot of creativity and abundance within this. I don't always mean material wealth, I mean whatever that could mean to you. This could be a passion project, that you work on for fun. Or it could actually be something you plan on trying to make money from. This pile needs to realize their own power. The fact that the lady in the strength card is holding a tapestry with a lion on it furthers this idea for me. Lions in historical terms have always symbolized strength. I'm reading this as if she had the tapestry covering her whole body up, but she appears to be moving it away. I'm also assuming she's naked behind it, too, so it's like, stripping away a mask you might have had on. This idea that you were toning yourself down for everyone else, but now you're letting that fall away. You're being you, and unapologetically so. You have a lot to share and a lot to give, and you're a little hesitant about this. Perhaps, in the past, you had things not go the way you wanted when you put yourself out there. But, this is telling you to forget that. A lot of you are changing or going through changes, whether it be inside or how things external to you. But, you're also denying these changes? Like, okay right now Make Way by the Front Bottoms is playing, and he sings "I make way for the expensive things in my head." You have dreams, but these dreams cannot come into actualization until you make room. The Banshee card can read as a warning, and I'll get to that later. In order for new things to come in, there needs to be room. This Banshee card hints that you're not allowing there to be room.

As I was writing that I started to think about the 4 of pentacles from the Rider-Waite deck. On the card, he guy's hoarding the pentacle and the chest underneath him full of who knows what (knowledge? love? money?) but that card isn't present. But, my eyes were drawn to the 5 of cups where she's looking down into the hole that the cups are spilling into. It almost looks like a bit of her soul is spilling into it too. I read that as someone who poured a lot of effort into those cups, a lot of their soul too. But, in the end, it was all for naught. At least, that's how they see it. So they dump out all those cups and their soul goes with them. But, that's not what I mean by making room. In this card, she's so focused on what's lost, rather than what could come in. Behind her, there's this path and wide-open space, and the stars are out. It's so beautiful but her backs to it. You need to be able to turn around and run into that unknown. The moon definitely supports that idea to me, also this 8 of wands. The moon in this reading, to me, is you embracing the unknown. Like, walking into the future despite it not having certainty yet. As unsure as you are about what tomorrow, next week, or even next year holds, you need to be able to crawl out of that pond like that lobster. He's kind of jumping out of that pond at the moon like "HERE I AM!" I also see him as reaching towards the moon that's made up of two fishes. So, almost like he's grabbing at them like a prize. So, I want to be cheesy and say REACH FOR THE SKY! And, I don't know. Perhaps a bit of corniness is needed in this moment for you? 8 of wands also gave me that feeling too. It's an image of a man jumping through the air with those 8 wands and he looks ABSOLUTELY THRILLED. These cards are telling you to be excited because when you reach out, good things reach for you if that makes sense. Page of Pentacles and 2 of wands show me that there's something you are or will be working on that you want to share. These also tell me it's something that you need to be practical about sharing. Like, the way you go about it. It's a bit like you need to make sure that when you jump through the air with those wands, you're calculating where you land. So, it's telling you to jump, but not to be The Fool about it. Don't jump without looking. But also, not to sit still like that girl in the 2 of wands. She's looking out the window wishing when she could be going. The 6 of pentacles tells me that whatever you share is going to be valuable. Usually, this card is about give and take. Or, about being compassionate and empathetic. Having what you need and sharing it too. It could also mean someone is helping you out. But, today I'm seeing this as you having something that would be valuable to others. So, maybe you want to make a fitness vlog or you have a large knowledge about rocks or something and you want to write blog posts about them. And, this specific version of the 6 of pentacles is that this man is standing under a crescent moon. It looks to me like it was recently a new moon, and I kind of see those pentacles as other phases of the moon. So, to me, it's like you manifesting. The act of placing an intention on what you want to do or achieve between the new and full moons. Like, this man is under this newer moon and he is manifesting what he wants. He's also excited about what's to come despite it being unknown. Those 8 wands are telling you to DO IT. START IT. You got New Moon in Sagittarius, which has the line "Luck is on your side" written on the card. In the moonology deck, I read this as the equivalence of the Wheel of Fortune tarot card. I mean, it even mentions the wheel in the guidebook. This card is telling you to GO! Do it! You've got luck on your side, but to also stay open-minded. I did mention that the Banshee does serve as a warning. The card's keywords are bad omens and wrath. I don't want this to scare you, rather, I want you to take this and hug it. I'm laughing at myself for that last part, but seriously. This card is, to me, just death reversed. When death is in reverse, you're denying a transformation that needs to happen. Even denying the ending of something. This is telling you that things are changing. They will not, cannot stay the same and that this warns you against denying this. Change can be so beautiful. Like, I mean, think about butterflies and the transformation they go through? You could have that! This change could be physical or mental or in your external world. Either way, if you're able to embrace this change with open arms, you'll find that there's a lot of joy that comes with this. I do have to say that there is the risk of you getting a bit of a big head. I want to tell you to stay level-headed about everything that comes your way. I also have to bring that 5 of cups back up along with the banshee. These suggest this idea that you're focused on mourning an ending, but that you should let it go. A part of me doesn't agree with that completely. There is a certain amount of need to allow these things to fall away and not to mourn forever. But also, if you're still grieving it once those changes come in, that's okay. That whole, making way for the expensive things is something that one needs to do, but there's also this thought I have about making space...to just...allow things to be. Sitting with something. The song Unsaid Emily came on from Julie and the Phantoms. The story it tells is heartbreaking, and I found it fitting. The song is about regrets and wishing you could say something you never got to say. There's a part where he sings "If you could only know, I'd never let you go." This ties in because you can still have that past with you. You don't have to let it go completely, but there's also a point where wallowing in it doesn't help. So, it's like, this banshee/5 of cups combo is both a warning and the act of acceptance. Like, this acceptance that this happened. It's over, and we will have these thoughts on it for a while (they'll probably transform through time). But, they're there, and while we're embracing it we're also taking them and moving forward. It's this act of leaving it behind while simultaneously leaving room for it in your suitcase. All seriousness aside now, I think November is going to be good for you. I don't know if it's going to be super major in any way, but I know that it's going to at least be a stepping stone for the rest of your life. Maybe a lot of little things will happen that will only be worked into your memory years later as things that you can attribute to where you are. I just see joy and creativity in these cards and maybe hesitation, but its that hesitation before you jump and I see that when you land (in that calculated spot), you're going to be okay. And, honestly, I think right now, that's all we want to hear. Right? That we'll be okay? Songs:

Make Way - The Front Bottoms Unsaid Emily - Julie and the Phantoms Soundtrack Makeup - Oberhofer

Pile 2: Rose Quartz

Cards: Queen of Swords, Two of Pentacles, Ace of Cups, Temperance, 4 of Wands, King of Wands, Full Moon Eclipse, Wolf One thing that's coming through strongly is that you need to follow your intuition. In the song Wild Roses by Of Monsters and Men, there are the lyrics "I followed a feeling". Even more, in the song Don't Give Up Your Ghost by Movements, they talk about not letting your demons get the best of you. Not letting those dreams you had go. And so, you follow them and chase that feeling, whatever that means to you. The card Wolf's keywords are instinct and freedom. It's the last card of the Seasons of the Witch deck, and with it comes this sense of completion. The Full Moon Eclipse speaks of conclusions being within reach. These conclusions are doors that have closed. But with these cards, while I see contemplation in some (queen of swords, temperance, even King of Wands), I also see movement. In 4 of Wands, they're dancing. In King of Wands, he does look stationary, but he also looks as if he's going to step forward at any moment. In two of pentacles, he's trying to keep his balance, but it looks like he's also trying to move forward too. So, there's a sense of forward movement, but with it comes this act of never looking back. There's a chance you'll face a decision in November. With the Queen of Swords and Temperance, you're asked to stop for a moment and be logical. To balance out the practicalities and the emotions. But, with it comes a beginning, one that can prove to be very fulfilling to you. There's a chance that this leads to a celebration, as well. Either way, you're asked to weigh the options while also keeping in mind that whatever you're leaving behind stays behind you. The last pile was also about moving forward and change. But, it was also a gentle reminder to hold your values and memories close to your heart. Whereas, with this pile, you need to hold those values and memories, but not as closely. At a distance where you can see them to keep perspective, but far enough away that they're not pulling you back to that door. And, by the way, that door will be locked. I don't know what this could be that you can't go back on. I mean, I guess it's like something that you just can't relive. Maybe it's that thing where nothing's ever the same again. Either way, it's like this spread is begging you to move forward. Ah! The song that came on is Kill My Time by 5 seconds of summer. There's a line, "Why don't you just say goodbye now. It's only a matter of time," which goes perfectly with what I just said. It's like, whatever is reaching it's conclusion. It's as if you've ridden that wave and you're at the end of it. You've run out of a wave to ride, so it's time to find another. On the wolf card, it says "Run wildy into the freedom of your knowing", so 1. definitely feeling the moon card here. But also 2. you're released from whatever is concluding. Also, the moon, it's about mysteries and the unknown and in the last pile they got it and it was telling them to jump into the unknown. I see that you guys are asked to jump into the unknown as well. Though something tells me that you guys have a bit more of an idea of what's going on. The queen of swords looks like she knows and that wolf howling at the moon knows something too. There's this feeling of the unknown but also knowing the unknown here. But, then with this unknown/decision you might have to make, you're reminded to keep balanced. In the temperance card, he's holding the moon in one hand and the sun in another. So, it's like night and day. I think that's suggesting this need for a schedule. Like, maybe a set bedtime? You guys could possibly be more of the night owl type. I guess, in that case, it's just a reminder to get an adequate amount of sleep. So, still setting a set time for sleep and a set time for waking up. Also, it's telling you to take care of yourself overall. The two of pentacles also brings that idea of balance because I mean, this card is about keeping up with everything. It's like, having two things and being able to balance them. Some of the versions of this make it seem like it's time to focus on one and stop trying to do both. In this deck, because the act of balancing is actually his body trying not to fall in the water, I see that this balance of keeping up different things at once is essential. So, say you're in school but you're also working. You're asked to keep up the hard work in both your school work and work-work, while also taking care of yourself. Assuring that you don't fall into the water. On the 2 of pentacles here, the pentacles are on his shirt. He already has these pentacles and I don't see him losing them. Unless he discards the shirt, so it's like unless you actually quit your job or school, you can't really lose them. You can lose the quality, but not the actual pentacle. My favorite thing about the Light Seer's Tarot is that each card has an affirmation. These sum up the card as a whole. Despite the 2 of pentacles being from the Cosmic Tarot, I think the affirmation is particularly noteworthy here: "I create an equilibrium in my life that allows me to be my best self." So, for November I see you going through a door that will close. This door is meant to be closed, but it doesn't mean it can't have a window you can peer into once and a while. You're just not meant to go back through it. Instead, you're meant to step forward into your future. I see that this is going to be abundant. You're asked to remember to follow your gut instincts, but also to keep balanced. To be honest, kind of like the crystal you chose, I just feel a lot of love. And I'm not really reading that as love from someone else (I mean, yes, there could very well be that), instead, I'm reading it as you just radiating love. So, I could say...November sounds lovely for you...lol Songs: Wild Roses - Of Monsters and Men Don’t Give Up Your Ghost - Movements Kill My Time - 5 Seconds of Summer Group 3: Carnelian

Cards: The Empress, The Lovers, Death, Queen of Swords, the Sun, 7 of Pentacles, New Moon in Virgo, Blue Moon, Journey Okay, I'm a little weirded out by the whole shuffling process. Several things happened that were kind of...Oof. First I kept seeing the Queen of Swords and was thinking "I bet that's gonna come out somewhere" and it DID. Then I saw that your Seasons of the Witch card was 24, which adds to 6, which in tarot is the lovers. I've read that 6s can mean journeys too. Well, THEN the lovers came out. Bottom deck energy for the Seasons of the witch is the All Hallow's Eve card. This made me wonder if your "journey" started on Halloween. Well, guys, then the Blue Moon card fell out, and that full moon on Halloween was a blue moon. Granted, all of these are coincidental, but it's just funny how those things work out. If you think something shifted for you on Halloween, then you're correct with thinking that. For some, it's with a love connection. For others, it was you just being able to figure out a little better on where you want to go in life, or where you're headed. So, jumping in, I want to focus on the Empress card first. I love this version because she looks so much more comfortable to me than any of the other empress cards I've seen. She looks relaxed like she has everything she needs. And, I do think one could say materially she has what she needs, but she also looks like she provided it for herself. Nothing on this card suggests it other than her face. She just looks sure of herself. Moving on to the Queen of Swords, while I get a colder energy from her, she also looks kind of similar. She's not in the same posture completely. Her posture could even be argued as not looking very relaxed, but her face makes it look like she's relaxed. She looks like she's content with where she sits. She's looking off into the sky, like, though she's content with where she's at, she's also looking for something. Maybe she's searching in her own brain or scanning the world off of where the card cuts us off from what she sees. They both have their hands to their chins, one seems more sure of herself, but the other still seems sure. So, what I take away from these two cards right away is that you know yourself. Maybe you're saying, "But Sara, I'm only just figuring out who I am?" And, yeah. So am I. Life is this process where we're constantly evolving. One week you have one belief, and the next that could have changed because you've learned 100 new things. You have both the Death and the Journey card. With the lovers and these two other cards, this is saying to me that you are changing. Nothing will be the same next week and nothing will be the same the week after, but you understand your goals and your values and at the end of the day, you're still you. I almost feel that I need to stop and reassure this pile that you're still you. Maybe you've been looking in the mirror lately and not recognizing yourself. Maybe people have been saying things like "I don't know you anymore", but you're still you! YOU ARE STILL YOU! And, this is also telling you to stop, take stock of who you are at this very moment. Be sure of it. That sounds hard to me, so I can understand if you think it does too. But there are things we're sure of. Like your values. Your sense of right and wrong. Hell, the music genre you gravitate towards the most. Those are you and you alone. So, take a moment, take a breath, and think about yourself. Now, I want you to take another moment to just love yourself. No if, ands, or buts. I mean, it. Stop and say to yourself "I love me." And I need you do to it with kindness. Forget the person you flipped off while driving yesterday. Forget that last mean thing you said to someone. Forget that bad grade you got when you were 13 because you were too focused on that band that came to town. Forget it all for a second and take this time to just breathe in and love yourself for who you are in the moment. Okay. Now that that's done. Onto what's coming. Well, like the other two piles change. Everyone today seems to be going through changes. Though, it's different for everyone. Pile one was asked to take a calculated risk, but still go for it. Pile two was asked to move forward and to not move backwards. You're asked to move forward gently. And I don't mean cautiously, though with New Moon in Virgo, I'd say there is some calculation needed here. But, I still don't mean cautiously. I mean, with love. With kindness. With you being the best that you can be to others and yourself. Something is just telling me that someone reading this is really upset with themselves, and I just want you to know that while you're still you and there are some of those core things that you still have, you're also not the same person you were yesterday or 5 hours ago, and that's okay. That's life. And you need to understand that we all fuck up and we all say things we don't mean sometimes, but that doesn't set anything in stone. That doesn't define you as a horrible person. Shit happens and sometimes that shit happens because we did it. But? I still love you and you should still love you too. The more you stop to love yourself and be kind to yourself, the more you're going to discover about yourself. And while you're discovering yourself, there's a need to look ahead while simultaneously staying present. On the Death card, there's a clock stuck in the ground, frozen. I almost want to say to you that time doesn't matter. I mean, yes if you have a shift that starts at 10, by all means, go to it on time. But, in the grand scheme of things, time doesn't matter, and for you, it means that your path is not linear, nor does it have a set schedule. God, I cannot believe I'm doing this, but I had a manager that I have to quote. He once said to me that he didn't believe in time. As a history major, that confused me to no end. Like, I got where he was coming from, but my whole life consists of time time time. I thought in dates. I know dates well and dates are time. But now I kind of see it. It's this idea that life isn't time, it's lessons. Does that make sense? And, I think that's what he meant, lol. He also tended to be really cryptic so, I could be totally wrong, but this is what I'm taking from the whole thing. The Journey card from the Seasons of the Witch deck says something along the same vein to me: "Daughters of our Mother, walkers of the unknown, take with you on this journey all that you hone." So, all we need is to live and take those lessons with us as we live. And, the Virgo card also reminds me of Virgos in general. They're known to be super analytical, so there's this thought that while you need to take lessons at their face value, you also need to dive into them too. It's like reading a book by its cover. There are things to take from that cover, like how the title font presents itself to you and what the illustration/picture is, but then there's also the content inside the book. Both the cover and the content matter. Don't judge a book by its cover, but also take in what's presented to you. The seven of pentacles always means have patience whenever I pull it for myself, so I read it that way for you too. There is no set schedule (like that whole time thing, right? it's nonexistent) and that might make you antsy. But, what good does that do? You could be chilling like the Empress. Or, you could be sitting and watching that cucumber you planted last week sprout, despite knowing that it's still going to take time. One definitely sounds more relaxing. 7 of Pentacles suggests this patience because it takes more than a week for a good thing to grow, you know? And, I mean, yeah you can make things in a day, but there's that saying, "Rome wasn't built in a day." Rome was built over a VERY long period of time, going through different types of governments and it switched around between paganism and Christianity. There were a lot of changes within that long period of time. I know I went on a rant earlier about time and how it's nonexistent, and blah blah blah. However, there's also this idea that even though you need to not be focusing on time, you also need to know that for things that are quality, it takes time. Like, time and effort. No half-assed shit, right? But, I mean that in a loving way. And, this, by all means, is about you changing. So, this is something that is going to take time to hone in on. Something that's going to take finesse. It's going to take experience and love. That may be something hard to hear. Trust me, I know this. Depression is a beast and I know how that and other mental illness can really fuck with you and your perception of the world and of yourself. But, both 7 of Pentacles and New Moon in Virgo suggest taking a moment and looking at where you are and where you're going. So, again, that idea of staying present while also moving forward. But, also being analytical (but not OVER analytical). And while you're looking at where you are, there's a need to stop and be okay with where you're at, too. This is especially for my buds who are having a hard time mentally. I know that when you're in the thick of it, it's hard to get out of the fog. That some days, or even weeks, you end it with tears and it's hard to stay motivated to do anything. With me, it's a bad cycle where I lack that motivation, but to feel worthy I need to be working. It's a cruel thing that I do to myself, because my worth is not within my productivity, and I think as a society that's something (at least for all my American friends) we need to remember. There are days when the only thing you do is just getting out of bed to get food and honestly, that's better than nothing. So, it's taking stock of the things, little and big, that you accomplish. Which, that definitely adds to that idea that time for you is not linear and that it's going to take you more time to do things other people can get done in a week or two. But, then on the flip-side, there are other things that will take you less time than it would for someone else. Nothing's linear and no one's the same. No one's path is a duplicate of someone else's journey. Harry Style's song, Golden came on. There's that line where he says "You're so golden", and I think you need to hear that right now. It definitely makes me think of the Sun card, which you got. It's this card of immense happiness. Abundance. It's a beautiful card and in this deck, it's bright, super bright. So, yeah. I'd say you're so golden. And I think this is more a matter of you being the sun like you need to stop and see yourself as that. Maybe you're someone that gives so much to others but not yourself. Honestly, from what I was getting earlier I can see that. So, maybe circling back to how relaxed both the Empress and the Queen of Swords look, maybe this is a message to you to relax? Relaxing and maybe taking stock of those lessons that have been presented to you. There's also a need to take care of yourself with the New Moon in Virgo. It just suggests eating healthier and what-not, so I'd add that to the relaxation. Like, relax and take care of yourself. And, gosh, again, I gotta bring up depression because it's really simple for me to be like "HEY YOU! Take care of your body!" but, I know what it's like to not want to exist. So, if that's the case, I want you to take it day by day, breath by breath. Start out small, get a glass of water, take some deep breaths. Do something that makes you feel good (that's also not detrimental to your health). I also think you're asked to believe that you can accomplish what you want to accomplish. It's like, you can achieve so much, but you also have to make sure that you're taking care of yourself on your way. So while there could be obstacles outside of you, you're your biggest obstacle. One thing I should note is that you got the Blue Moon card. This suggests that you may get an opportunity of some sort that's rare. Now, this could mean a lot of things with these other cards. One I can see is travel with the journey card. I see it more as outside into nature really, with the colors from the Virgo card and the forest on the Blue Moon card. Like, a camping trip? Honestly, right now I'd give anything to go camping, so if you go, send me pictures! Another for someone is maybe meeting someone you click well with, whether it be platonically or romantically with the Lovers. If that's the case, I see this relationship being really good, like nurturing and abundant. Full of joy and good times. Another is maybe just a chance to just take a step back and rest with both the Empress and the Queen of swords. Either way, I see this as being something that you consider to be good. It will also transform you in some way, more than how you're changing now. I can't really get into more because it just feels like this is super general because I feel like a lot of you are choosing this pile. I do suggest that if you felt called to the other two piles, I'd go look at them since they're all about change too. The bottom of one of the decks is the Star, so I see that there is a hopeful energy to this and that whatever is going to happen, you're going to start feeling more hopeful. But also, promise me you'll be kind to yourselves? Music:

Golden - Harry Styles Was It Something I Said? - Mykey

#tarot #pick a pile #pick a card #tarot reading #november pick a pile

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blkgirlcafe · 4 years

Text

Brat Life Chronicles

Tried to keep the looks as open as possible but she definitely is black. Follow America Golden Boy, Steve Rogers as he deals with his spoiled brat of a girlfriend Delilah. A series of One shots that are just fun to write when I dont feel like working on my series.

Masterlist

Characters: Steve Rogers x Delilah (Black OC)

WordCount: 1667

Warning: Smut, cursing, teasing, daddy kink

“Babe please…..” lip poked out, big doe eyes, whiny voice, usually she didn’t have to go this route to get her way but Steve was being an ass.

“Delilah, baby stop.” Steve Rogers went back to reading the mission report he had to prep for.

“Ugh fine.” She rolled her eyes, causing Steve to quirk an eyebrow at her, she was being disrespectful and she knew Steve wouldn’t go for that.

Honesty she wasn’t asking much, just asking to take one of the private jets to go to a concert in Atlanta this weekend.

“I’ll just ask Tony.” She started to walk away heading towards the elevator.

Before she made it 5 steps, Steve picked her up and threw her over his shoulder.

“Couldn’t stop when I asked, now you wanna drag Stark into this. I give you everything you ask for baby.”

“Expect for this.” She pouted. In for a penny in for a pound, she knew she was digging a hole that she wouldn’t be able to get out of.

“Because you don’t need this, you and your friends already have first class tickets booked, a private car to pick you up and drive you around. VIP Seats and backstage passes, plus new clothes and spending money. I think you can do without this one things.”

“No.” She huffed as she was dropped on the bed.

“Maybe you don’t need to go at all then Delilah, stay here with me, while I prepare for my mission.”

“No Daddy! Please…” Delilah bit her bottom lips, trying to entice him.

“You are such a fucking brat.”

“Language Captain.”

He growled before advancing on her.

They were an unlikely couple, and they met in an unlikely way. You would think Captain America saved her life or something but it all started with an Instagram like.

Captain America had finally made it to Instagram, not that he ran it, Sam did but sometimes he liked to browse the app.

He was on his explore page when he came across Delilah page, a picture of her in a cap and gown, graduating from college.

Steve has liked it and left a comment out of encouragement.

“Congratulations, much success on your future.”

Delilah has all but fainted when she saw it, but she took it a step farther and sent him a DM, telling him thank you and she hoped they would meet one day.

Sam took over, telling her if she ever in NYC he would love to take her out for coffee.

——

“Steve…” she moaned as her boyfriend sucked on her neck.

“Hmm.” He hummed against her brown skin.

“Please Daddy?”

Her eyes fluttered close.

“Please What?”

Steve licked a strip from her neck to her ear, sucking on the sensitive lobe.

“Please, I want you.”

“I know you do, girl, but you've been really bratty lately, you know I don’t like that.” Steve pulled away, leaving her frustrated.

“Now pack for your trip.”

Steve left Delilah on the bed, hot, wet, and frustrated but two could play that game.

——

It was quiet, too quiet Steve thought. Delilah never went this long without wanting his attention unless…

He shot up, spilling papers all over the living room floor. He checked the bedroom first, bags half packed and clothes everywhere greeted him. Next he checked the bathroom and then finally the extra bedroom. He sighed.

Living in Stark tower had its perks, like their private apartment, top of the line facilities, and F.R.I.D.A.Y.

“Friday, where is Delilah?”

“Common area kitchen Captain Rogers.”

Steve punched the bottom to take him to the common area of Avengers Tower.

He smelt the brownies as soon as the door opened. He walked past Sam and Clint going straight to the kitchen. Tony looked over her shoulder as she stirred something.

“That smells so good.” Tony said but to Steve it looked like he was smelling your neck.

“Thanks, family recipe so I can’t tell you.” Delilah giggles.

“Delilah.”

Her name being called caused her to Jump, Tony his hand on the small of her back.

“Yeah babe?” Her voice was sweet like honey but it was all an act.

Delilah looked over to Steve to see him doing his signature jaw clenched that singled he was angry.

“You need to finish packing.”

It was a demand, a demand to get her ass back to their suite and now.

“OK. Tony just pop these in the oven for 30 minutes and you’ll have the best brownies ever, save me a corner piece.”

“OK Princess.” Tony muttered.

If looks could kill Tony would be dead, the way Steve was throwing daggers at him wasn’t lost on Delilah as she walked over to Steve.

Once in the elevator Steve didn’t say anything to her and Delilah knew she fucked up big time, maybe she could clean it up.

“Babe…”

“I don’t want to hear it.”

“You never let me explain.” She whined.

The elevator opened and she followed Steve out.

“Explain what? Why you are prancing around Tony in basically nothing?”

“It’s a little more than nothing, all the important bits are covered.”

That stopped Steve in his tracks, he turned to look at her up and down. She suddenly felt self conscious about her outfit. True the cotton shorts did little to cover her ass or thick thighs. The tank top she had on was super thin and tight and basically putting her breast on display.

“Get to the room and clean that mess up, your trip is cancelled.”

“What you can’t do that!”

“Yes I can and I just did now go Delilah before you get in more fucking trouble.”

Delilah rolled her eyes and went to their shared bedroom and began to put clothes away, as she stuffed her panties back into the drawer she came across a light blue lace teddy.

Delilah quickly put it on before Steve caught her, finishing off her lips with some gloss because he loved it.

She hoped no one had entered their shared living space as she crept down the hallway wanting to surprise the super soldier who could hear anything.

When Delilah rounded the corner Steve was on the couch, laptop propped opened.

“I can hear you Babe, you know that.”

“Close your eyes, I got a surprise.”

Just as he started to protest Delilah hit him with a “Please Daddy.” And he did.

She walked over to him, gently taking the laptop off his lap and setting it on the table.

“You can open them now.”

Delilah stood in front of him, proudly displaying her body for his eyes.

“Fuck baby.”

Steve's rough hands went to her waist, gliding down her hips and back up again.

Steve pulled her down to his lap, her knees on either side of his thick thighs.

“You like Daddy.” Delilah has changed the tone of her voice to be super sugary sweet and it was working.

He melted under her as Delilah gently massages his shoulders.

“You look gorgeous like you always do.”

“Thank you baby. I’m Sorry for acting like that earlier.”

“Hmmm acting like what?”

Steve gently peppered kisses from her collarbone to the top of her breast.

“Being a brat.” she moaned.

“Apology accepted, and yes you can still go, and yes I will see about getting you a private jet, you know I cant say no to you for long.”

Delilah groaned as his hands gripped her ass, picking her up.

“Tell Daddy thank you.” Steve muttered against her neck as he walked them to the bedroom.

“Thank you Daddy.” she purred.

Steve laid her gently on the bed, reaching between her legs and ripping the delicate lace, cool air rushing to her heated core.

Steve got on his knees, kissing her thighs before pushing his face into her pussy. America Golden Boy loved to eat pussy, he ate pussy like his life depended on it. Some dudes got mad when they couldn't get their dick sucked, but Steve turned into a whiny person if he couldn't wrap his lips around her clit.

“Fuck baby.” Delilah ran her hands through his golden locks, loving that he had grew it out a little.

The nasty slurping sounds he made turned her on more, A long lick from her clit that ended with him dipping his tongue into her wet hole.

Delilah moaned out lout, calling out his name. Steve slipped a thick finger into her, hooking it, finger rubbing back and forth against her spot. Delilah tried to move away from his mouth as her first orgasm approached, but Steve pulled her back onto his mouth, wanting her to come right on his face.

“Good girl Delilah.” Steve cooed at her. He stood up, finger lazily running up and down her slit as his other hand unbuckled his pants, pushing them down. He removed his hand from her and she whined, pulling his shirt over his head and throwing it down, stepping out his sweats and boxers. Steve crawled onto the bed towards her, covering her body with his. Delilah wrapped her legs around his waist, his hard dick poking her thigh.

“Daddy please…” Steve cut her off, catching her in a heated kiss. Catching her off guard he pushed into her wet walls.

Nails dug into his muscled back as he pushed in balls deep in the first stroke.

“I...better...not...see...you...around...tony...again…” each word meet with a deep stroke.

“Yes Daddy!!!”

Mouth gaped open in a silent scream Delilah had her second orgasm, squeezing Steve dick as he trusted in her one final time, cumming deep inside of her.

“Good girl.” Steve kissed her face until their breathing calmed down, going to lay on the side of her.

“Want me to finish packing for you?” Steve could tell she was about to go to sleep.

“Mmmhmm please.”

Steve gave Delilah a kiss on the forehead before getting up and finding his boxers.

#steve rogers x oc #steve rogers x delilah #Brat life #black writers #smutty writer #mcu #avengers #steve rogers #captain america #chris evans

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currywaifu · 4 years

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𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐥𝐞: a waltz to remember 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩: tsukioka tsumugi/reader 𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠: sfw 𝐰𝐜: 3.1k words

𝐚𝐧: I really liked this idea, so much that I got excited and wrote a lot of plot and lead-up to the floof oops. I might have made some errors w/ my waltz descriptions, it’s been a few years

“A modern, theatrical take on Swan Lake… hmm, wouldn’t that fit someone from the Spring troupe more?”

Izumi pouted, “I already asked! None of them are free to be a guest actor, you’re my only hope Tsumugi!”

Tsumugi considered the director’s offer. Truth be told, he wasn’t that familiar with the original ballet nor did he know what to expect out of a modern retelling, but it was always good to get experience in different genres and modes. He currently wasn’t expected to be in any Mankai Company plays either, so as long as he organized his tutoring schedule he should be fine.

Turning back to the director he nodded. “I’ll be taking the role then, director.”

Clapping her hands together, Izumi grinned excitedly. “I’ll make sure to tell their director! Ah, hold on, I haven’t told you what your role will be yet, oops.”

Sensing it, he immediately shook off the upcoming apology. “It’s fine, it’s my fault for not asking either. I didn’t agree to a weird role or anything, right?”

Shaking her head, the brunette looked at her phone. “It says here you’ll be playing the role of Wolfgang, Prince Siegfried’s tutor.”

A tutor? With a laugh, Tsumugi thought how fitting it must be for him to take this role. He doesn’t know much about the tutor’s personality, but at the very least he’s ready to deliver any teacher or educator type of action need be.

Though the feeling was nothing new with every new role he took, he found himself buzzing with excitement for the future practices to come.

“Thank you for taking up the role, Tsukioka-san,” the troupe president said, shaking his hand, “it’s a bit last minute, but Tachibana-san was kind enough to help me look for a guest actor.”

“Thank you for having me as well,” Tsumugi replied, “I read through the script and I can’t wait to become Wolfgang onstage.”

In the ballet, the tutor gets drunk on wine during Prince Siegfried’s birthday celebration. Eden Troupe’s playwright decided to transform that character, now nicknamed Wolfie, into a normally well-mannered tutor who has passionate rants about history when drunk.

Izumi and Tasuku had laughed when he told them. It was rare to have Tasuku laugh out loud, but they were also at a bar so that might have something to do with it.

“Eh? This role should be easy for you then! I was right to give it to you!” The director exclaimed, clapping him on the back with a lot more strength he thought possible from her.

His best friend shook his head in disbelief, “not too far off from the truth then, based on how the three of us are like when we drink.”

While the role itself was new, there was a sense of familiarity to it that made it easier for Tsumugi to slip into character. The lines themselves rolled off with ease from his tongue, and with guidance he trusted himself enough to embody the mannerisms of the character.

There was only one problem.

He watches you get up from your seat in the audience and head up the stage, your back turned to the chairs to face him and his fellow actors. You walked with such confidence that it was hard not to be captivated by your presence.

“Looks like I’m back again,” with a broad and charming grin several members of the troupe cheered loudly, while the newer and quieter members clapped politely.

“I see some new faces, welcome!”, you greeted everyone, telling them your name, “and I’ll be your choreographer!”

Dance. They had to dance and unfortunately for him and the poor souls that have to partner up with him, Tsumugi has two left feet.

The last time he was required to dance was probably way back in high school for a school play production, and no way did dancing to Seussical the Musical qualify as recent or relevant experience.

You threw a glance at him, noting his worried gaze, and tried to indirectly reassure him and the rest of the actors.

“I’m not a strict coach nor do I expect perfection right away, but what’s important is that you constantly put your best efforts. Understood?”

The actors all replied in chorus, and Tsumugi tried to reassure himself. At least it wasn’t some high energy, action-filled choreography or an overly technical dance. A waltz, he can do that much.

“Alright, let’s do some stretches first!”

…

“Ah! I’m sorry,” he’s been apologizing for a couple minutes now, and while he tried to keep it discreet between him and his dance partner it didn’t go unnoticed, at least by you.

You’ve been paying special attention to the man with dark blue hair for a while now. At first, you merely observing the unfamiliar faces, new additions to the troupe and guest actors, but something about him struck you as special.

When you watched him during rehearsal an hour ago, you had wondered if the president picked up a new talent. He was able to pull off the tutor’s initial modesty through his subtle acting, and in his silent acquiescence of a glass of wine, he switched into Wolfie, the talkative drunk who was incredibly passionate about history.

“Where’d you pick him up, prez? He’s obviously no rookie,” you asked the blond beside you, who simply chuckled.

“That’s Tsukioka Tsumugi, he belongs to Mankai Company actually,” he explained, “it’s his first rehearsal today. He seemed a bit anxious at first, but he’s doing really well.”

“Mankai? Should DM Izumi later to reserve a ticket for their next prod,” you murmured, quietly watching the rest of the rehearsal.

He didn’t show any signs of frustration, and he was obviously listening attentively when you did the demonstration, so was it a matter of a lack of practice?

Well, you were gonna find out.

…

Tsumugi had an idea of what was to come when you called him after rehearsals concluded.

“Tsumugi-kun, sorry for calling you all of a sudden,” you apologized with a bow, to which the actor returned.

“Not at all, I probably looked like a newborn fawn out there,” well, that much you couldn’t deny, however, you didn’t like that he was putting himself down after his first time. There have been a lot worse than him, whether it be talent or attitude or otherwise.

“It’s your first rehearsal, don’t be so hard on yourself,” you paused for a moment, closing your eyes.

Well, you didn’t plan on reaching out this much to help him, but somehow you couldn’t help yourself.

“Tsumugi-kun, would you like to have extra practice sessions with me?” Hmm… The wording seemed a little better in your head, but it seemed to get the message across.

He was hesitant to accept, “I wouldn’t want to be a bother.”

“Trust me,” you clasped his hands between yours, missing the pink dotting his cheeks as you looked at him with determination in your eyes, “by the time you’re done with me you’d be able to waltz even with your eyes closed.”

“You really told him that? You made it sound like you were talking about a different kind of one-on-one~” Eden Troupe’s director let out a blaring cackle, slamming his beer glass down the bar table.

“Wahh, so naughty uwu ♡~ who knew our ☆ dancing diva ☆ was so forward~~” the troupe’s playwright said, rubbing his shoulders against yours, “why can’t you be like that with ♡ me ♡ wink wink oOF-“ a slight kick to his legs halted wherever that conversation was going to go.

Your head was beginning to hurt, and you didn’t know if it was from the alcohol or whatever the hell you were all talking about. You could even hear the hearts and stars, how was that possible?

“Argh, unlike you perverts I’m sure he understood what I meant from the get-go,” you groaned, briefly swishing the liquid in your glass before downing it in one go. You’d probably end up with a hangover tomorrow but so be it if you could survive tonight without getting charged for homicide. Or maybe even double homicide.

“He’s not an angel, even if he does look like one~”

“Tsumugi-kun is one compared to the two of you. Do your troupe members know that behind closed curtains y’all share one brain cell?” You retorted, completely ignoring the latter comment because yeah, he did look like an angel, what’s there to it? So what if he radiated such a gentle light around him?

“I’m just saying, he’s your fucking type,” the troupe’s director pointed out, the man beside him nodding fervently.

“And I’m a fucking professional,” you insisted, not even an ounce of denial towards his statement.

Raising his hands, the playwright put on his most nonchalant look, a very difficult feat for a drunk person, “oya oya, who can say if y’all decide to bow-chicka-wow-wow, hohoho ☆~”

Calling the bartender for another drink, you came to the realization that you needed better friends.

Two days after the bar night out and your raging hangover the morning come, you could still feel a migraine coming at the thought of your two friends. Honestly? Fuck them for making you realize that Tsumugi was extremely cute and 200% your type, that wasn’t very fair of them- or HIM for that matter!

Is it even legal to be so cute? The two of you exchanged details on the optimal practice time, and even his texting style was cute! Who knew he’d be so polite even in text? Bless him.

You were going to meet up with Tsumugi at the Mankai Company Theatre, apparently, rehearsals would end earlier tonight so the two of you had the stage for yourselves. You looked around outside for a bit before a familiar face with dark blue hair opened the doors to greet you.

“Thank you for taking the time to teach me,” he said, “I was able to practice the steps on my own, but I just get lost with a partner.”

Oh, if that was the case you have a good idea of what his issue is.

“It’s no problem, Tsumugi-kun. Let’s review the individual steps first before we continue.”

…

Feet, hip-distance apart. Step the left foot forward, then the right follows. The left meets the right foot. The right steps back and the left follows. Place the right foot next to the left.

A full box step.

Tsumugi was right, he was able to get the basic steps of a waltz down to a tee. That must mean…

“Alright, now try those same steps while leading me as your partner.”

He let out a breath to prepare himself, before standing in front of you. The distance was far too much, and you ushered him to come closer, “shoulder distance, Tsumugi-kun.”

“Right, sorry,” he walked forward a bit more, awkwardly mirroring your actions, extending his arms forward.

“You’re the lead, and I’m the follow, so place your right hand below my left shoulder blade,” you waited for him to do as you said before continued with your instructions, “and our hands go like this.”

You wrapped your right hand around his left, and was it just the stage lights or were his cheeks dotted with pink? Well, now wasn’t the time to tease him.

Tsumugi’s difficulty stemmed either from being too tense around his partner or from being too afraid to take the lead. Whichever one it was, you were going to crush it as hard as you were crushing on Tsumugi.

“You know, I find it pretty funny,” you began, hoping to ease up his tension by lightening the mood, “that you’re supposed to be playing a tutor, yet I’m tutoring the tutor.”

His left foot forward, your right foot back.

He laughed, amusement visible in his features. “I actually work as a tutor, too, so it’s just as funny to me.”

His right foot forward, parallel to the left. Your left foot back, parallel to the right.

“Eh? No wonder it looked so natural! Ah, although you’d probably be good in other roles too? What other roles have you done?”

His left foot meets his right, and your right meets your left.

So far, so good.

“My first role for Mankai was an angel in love with a human,” Tsumugi said, becoming more immersed into the conversation, “though I’ve done a bunch of roles when I attended school.”

He steps back with his right foot, and you step your left foot forward.

“I’ve never actually acted, but I’ve always been interested in theatre. I’m always helping productions,” you replied, “an angel? It’s the perfect role for you.”

His left foot steps forward, and unfortunately steps on your right foot.

“Ow, a little too early, Tsumugi-kun,” you wince slightly at the added pressure, and Tsumugi hastily steps back looking extremely apologetic.

“Sorry! I lost track of what the next step was,” he explained, “can we go back to the start?”

You smiled, at least he looked like he was raring to try again. Without a word, you signaled him to begin at starting position once more, your hands linking together.

One, two, three. One, two, three.

“Were you caught off-guard by what I said?” You asked, his grip on your hand slacking slightly before fixing it, “sorry, I just said what was on my mind.”

“It’s fine! You just surprised me a bit.”

Forward, side, close, back, side, close, forward, side, close, back, side, close.

“It’s just the two of us, Tsumugi-kun, so don’t be afraid to make mistakes, okay?” you locked eyes with him, waiting for him to respond.

“Thank you.”

“See? We were able to do a waltz box step together! If you’re free Thursday, I’ll help you fix the underarm turns!” Your smile was bright, radiant and blinding, all directed at him. Suddenly his face felt warm all over.

He was quick to arrange the next session.

“You know, if you’re supposed to act drunk, it wouldn’t matter if you stepped on your partner’s toes here and then,” Tasuku said off-handedly.

Tsumugi didn’t reply immediately. Eden troupe’s director had actually told him after their latest practice that it didn’t matter if he made a mistake every now again as long as it wasn’t too exaggerated.

He hesitated a bit before responding, “that’s true, but it’d be nice to get a whole sequence right without stepping on someone’s feet.”

It wasn’t a lie, but he was still relieved Tasuku looked like he accepted that answer, “would be nice to have that skill stored just in case.”

Even so, you looked so delighted when he did well. If just for a little while longer, he’d like to see you direct a smile at him again.

You were really, really grateful to see Tsumugi again. It was always a pleasure meeting up with him, dancing with him, learning something new about him.

Despite all of this, your toes could only take so much pressure in one session.

“Somehow, this is kind of embarrassing,” Tsumugi said as he stepped on your feet for the umpteenth time tonight.

Unable to resist the urge to tease him, you replied, “huh, you’re really tripping all over your feet for me, angel~”

You felt a little bit guilty when you saw his cheeks kissed pink like a carnation because no matter how cute he was when flustered, you didn’t want to make him uncomfortable. Your lips parted to apologize, but you found yourself befuddled by how he remained silent.

One, two, three. One, two, three.

He was quiet, merely staring at you until he moved to turn you around, letting go of the arm beneath your shoulder. The two of you were facing each other once again when he finally said anything.

One, two, three. One, two-

“You’re the one who’s the angel here.”

You stepped forward, accidentally stepping on his feet. The two of you were caught off-guard, you more so by his response than the fact that you made a mistake. As you stumbled forward, he circled his arms around you to serve as an attempt to steady you.

Tsumugi looked at you worriedly. He meant it as a compliment! You let him off easy every time he made mistakes while simultaneously helping him improve, plus giving him praise every time he did something right. Like a guardian angel of sorts? Or the angel over the shoulder?

His thoughts get interrupted when he hears you mutter something with a semblance of his name.

“Tsumugi-kun,” the said man watched in awe as you widen your eyes, a flush creeping across your cheeks like a vine of scarlet honeysuckle, or a freshly bloomed rose bush or a myriad of other flowers he could associate with you right now but one thing was certain.

This was different than the admiration he felt for you and what you do when you would dance with him, in front of the other actors. This was different than the appreciation he felt when you gave him words of encouragement. This was different from the pang in his chest when you teased him lightly.

No, not different.

It was an amalgamation of all of those things and more.

Tsumugi knows a crush when he sees it; when he feels it. This was a full-blown crush.

He knew from the rush of endearment he felt when you stepped back slightly from his grasp, your hands fanning your face wildly. He knew from the way you shifted your eyes around the room, avoided locking eyes with him and yet giving him millisecond glimpses to search for a reaction.

There certainly was a better way of saying this, of doing this. Maybe after he’s returned back to the dorm he could mull over his feelings and think of a better way to confess, maybe bring you to one of his favorite coffee shops, maybe even ask Tasuku and Izumi for advice…

but he wants to let at least a fraction of his feelings out, to relieve him if not for reassurance. He allows himself to be a little hopeful, a little confident that your feelings resemble his if he was to base it off of your reaction.

“Even after our lessons end, could we continue seeing each other?”

For the first time in what felt like hours, which in reality was likely three minutes, your gaze met his own. You’d think about it more later, but his pupils were dilated as he looked at you. Yours might have been, too.

“I’d like that, a lot.”

Tsumugi didn’t step on your feet for the rest of the night.

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keiyoomi · 4 years

Text

❝ paalam❞

☾pairing: akaashi keiji x reader;

☾genre: angst

☾word count: 1,458 words

☾warning: cheating. akaashi is ooc.

☾note: i will probably rewrite this in the future. like my other works, this is unedited. will edit soon, but not this month. i think. i run out of ideas, tbh. also, i can’t write this in peace. sksksksksksksksksks. ah! if there’s anyone interested to beta read my future works, please step forward. T^T

☾currently playing on repeat: paalam by moira dela torre ft. ben&ben

“We’ll live in a house with a front yard and a backyard,” Akaashi whispered as he two slowly dance in your living room. He brought your hand to his lips before placing his hand behind your back. “Maybe we’ll have two or three kids who’ll be spoiled by his godparents. Especially Bokuto-san,” he added making you smile against his chest. “Everything will be perfect,” he whispered before kissing your temple.

You slammed your phone on the top of your wooden center table after reading the message he sent. ‘Why now? Of all times, why now when I’m finally healing from all the pain he had caused?’ Tears streamed down your cheeks as memories flooded your mind.

“Keiji.” Akaashi glanced at your direction before pulling you closer to him. “I hope we could stay like this forever,” you mumbled while drawing lazy circles against his arms. “I feel better whenever you’re around. You always know what to do and how to solve any obstacle presented to you.”

You looked up at Akaashi before kissing his jaw making him chuckle. “I am hoping for the same thing too. I hope that you’ll always be the first person I get to see the when I wake up.” He smiled at you before placing a tender kiss on your forehead. “And the only person I’ll be kissing every single day,” he says after kissing your temple thrice.

You made your way towards your fridge, taking out three cans of beers and your leftover pizza, before heading towards your room. However, seeing the corridor of your apartment alone made you stop. It reminded you of the worst night of your life.

You were waiting for him to arrive, to tell him about your plans. For your shared future. You were patiently waiting near the door while glancing at your phone from time to time. You sent him multiple message, asking where he is and if he’s coming home anytime soon. You even asked his friends about his whereabouts, but none of them knew where he was.

Or maybe they do. They just don’t want to tell you where he is.

Still, you waited for him to return. Not minding the fact that you’ve been skipping your classes just to see him again. But a week later, not even his shadow visited your shared apartment. Hell, he didn’t even return to take any of his things.

The next thing you knew, your world is already crumbling into tiny bits. Crushing every hopes and dreams you’ve shared with him.

Bitter tears streamed down your face as you walk towards your room. You didn’t even bother to switch on the lights before locking the door behind you. You just. . . want to forget everything about him. You just want to let go of the pain. To move on.

You wanted to see him again. You wanted to know how he’s doing after he left. If he’s doing better without you in his life. You open one of the beers and drowned yourself in alcohol, hoping that by the time you wake up, you’ll be able to escape this hellish nightmare.

But even in your dreams, he’s there.

He was wearing one of his favorite outfit that night. The night when he first went out without giving you any heads up. Akaashi arrived at your shared apartment drunk with someone from his department. They almost fell when the two of them tried to fit at the door. You would’ve laugh if you see one of his friends. You would’ve laugh with their silliness. If only. . . if only he didn’t kiss the woman in front of you.

“Who was that?” you asked while tapping his tinted cheeks. Tears stained your cheeks as soon as the woman left your apartment. “Hey, answer me, Keiji. Who was that? Why did she kiss you?” You were wiping your tears with your free hand as your left arm supports his weight. “Kei, please. Answer me,” you begged as the two of you were at your apartment’s corridor.

“Her? She’s no one important,” he responded before pushing you away from him. He made his way towards his room with wobbly legs.

You bit your lower lip before holding his arm. “Kei, do we have a problem?” you asked, your hands becoming colder every passing second. “Am I not enough?”

“I want to sleep,” he replied, unclasping your hand from his arm. “See you tomorrow.”

The following day, it was as if he forgot everything he did last night. Until it happened again and again. Until you’ve had enough of his bullshit.

“Why? Why are you doing this to me?” you asked as soon as he entered your shared apartment. With the same woman. Worst part? He smelled just like her. “Did I do anything that offended you? Did I do something wrong?”

“I’m tired!”

You scoffed. “And do you think I’m not? Huh?” you asked before pulling his arm. “Stop running away from me, Akaashi. We’ll discuss this right here, right now! I’ve had enough of your bullshit, Akaashi!”

“Fine!” he screamed. “Yes, I am fucking her and I enjoy fucking her!”

You let his arm go, as if you held a hot metal rod with your bare hands.

Your lips parted as you tried to breathe in. You couldn’t believe that you actually heard those words from him. You couldn’t believe that he changed this much. “Why? Why? Why?” you screamed while hitting his chest. “I’ve been loving you with all my heart for years! I gave you my everything! But you just—”

“—because you’re always busy! Always out with God knows who!” he screamed back, eyes filled with rage.

Your slapped his face with your shaky hands. “Fuck you and your stupid excuse!” You poked his chest. Your body was shaking with rage. “You know the reason why I’m always away. You know why. . .” Your fell on your knees while blubbering. “All this time. . .all this time. . .”

You woke up in the middle of the night and the first thing you did was respond to his message.

THE FOLLOWING DAY, you didn’t bother to wear anything fancy. You put on your black shirt and pants before heading to the meeting place you chose. It was easy to spot him from the small crowd. You sat on the empty spot beside him, your eyes glued to the children playing few meters away from you.

“What do you want?” you asked before he could even say a word. “Let’s cut to the chase, Akaashi.”

“I’m sorry.” You scoffed before looking away from the children, hoping to hide your emotion from him. “For all the pain that I’ve caused you. For all the lies that I’ve told you.”

You immediately turn your head towards him as soon as you hear him sniff. “I-I’m sorry you got hurt. . . because of everything I said. I’m sorry that I got scared.”

You wanted to wrap your arms around him. You wanted to comfort him so bad, but the pain in your chest kept you from doing so. You covered you bit the back of your hand, your shoulders shake in silence as your tears stream down youe cheeks.

“I-I got scared. . . I was scared to. . . to lose you.” Then, you both look at each other. “I was scared to hold you back.” Akaashi hold your hand before placing it on his cheek. “Y-You’re willing to give up everything you’ve dreamed of just to be with me.”

“That’s not your decision to make, Akaashi.” You respond between your sobs. “I wanted to be with you. I wanted you to be there when I achieve those dreams.” You lowered your head before meeting his gaze. “I wanted to make you proud of my achievements.” You harshly brush the tears on your cheeks. “I wanted to keep my promise to you back then while achieving my dreams. That I would never let you go. . .”

Images of you and him while dancing around your apartment appeared in your mind.

“That we’ll be there for each other no matter what happens. . .”

“I’m sorry that I messed up.”

You shook your head while pulling your hand away from him. “T-That was all in the past. Our past that we could no longer undo.” You forced a smile. “Maybe we could finally move forward after this,” you added, before standing up. “T-Thank you. For this closure.” You took a deep breath before exhaling loudly. “T-Thank you for loving me, Akaashi, I hope you’ll find the person who can. . . understand you better. Someone who can. . . love you with all their heart.”

AKAASHI wanted to go after you. To tell you that you’re still the only person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. But guilt hold him back from chasing you. If only he didn’t crush your heart.

☾taglist: @haikyuu-ink ; @kenchiko ; @agaassi ; @benvo ; @sadsugarplumm ; @yams046 ; @ ; tba (send an ask or dm if you’d like to be added/removed!)

#keiyoomi: angst #keiyoomi: haikyū!!#hq!! angst #haikyuu!! angst #haikyuu!! x reader #hq!! x reader #akaashi keiji x reader #akaashi keiji x reader angst #akaashi x reader #akaashi x reader angst #akaashi angst

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