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lucemferto · 3 years

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WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT TECHNOBLADE (or A Narrative Analysis of the Dream SMP Doomsday Event) - Script

Heyo! Per request I am posting the script to my video of the same name here on tumblr. I must warn you that just reading the script will probably not give you the full experience, so I would encourage you to watch the video (linked above).

There might also still be a lot of grammatical errors in the text, because I don’t proofread.

Okay, so! I don’t want this to turn into a reaction channel OR a Dream SMP channel for that matter! I am planning on doing a big dumb, way too long analysis video on the Dream SMP which will – at my current pace – come out in five years. I am already way too late on this one.

Spoiler Alert for the Doomsday Event that took place on the 6th of January in the Dream SMP. Surely the worst thing to take place on the 6th of January 2021 … I’m sorry, what’s this about the Capitol?

In case you don’t watch the SMP and need context: The Dream SMP is a Minecraft Multiplayer Server, that, throughout the last year, has transformed from a normal Let’s Play to an ongoing new-media series streamed by multiple high-profile streamers such as Dream, TommyInnit or Technoblade. It comes complete with script – by which I mean loose bullet points – and story events. It has attracted a large fanbase specifically invested in the story and less so in the actual gameplay content. Like I said before, I will probably do a big video on the Dream SMP at some point in the future.

The storyline is long and complicated and trying to explain it all would take up the majority of the video and there are other channels who have already done a much better job than I could ever hope to do, so give them a watch. I’ll try to summarize all that is pertinent to what I will talk about in this video.

Okay, let’s speedrun this summary. Cue the music!

Major Players here are TommyInnit, a founder of the independent nation of L’Manburg, Technoblade, an anarchist who was deep in conflict with L’Manburg, Tubbo, Tommy’s best friend and current president of L’Manburg, and Dream, the ruler of the Kingdom of the Dream SMP (even though he is not the king, but we’re not going to get into that right now). Tommy had in the past been exiled by Tubbo for endangering L’Manburg’s shaky peace with the Dream SMP. Tommy had then teamed up with Technoblade, who was hellbent on destroying L’Manberg after some prior altercations – more on that later.

Tommy and Tubbo came into conflict during a festival set-up to celebrate the friendship between L’Manburg and the Dream SMP. After punching out their feelings, Tommy came to the realization that his friendship with Tubbo was more important than his vendetta against Dream and those who exiled him. Techno took that change of heart badly and teamed up with Dream to destroy L’Manburg … and that’s exactly what happened.

Techno and Dream, with little to no opposition, obliterated L’Manburg with no hope for recovery leaving its inhabitants stranded hopeless and alone.

… And that’s what you missed on Dream SMP!

Okay. So, usually I just put whatever thought slime drips out of my mouth hole into your subscription box. But then I asked myself: “Am I not taking this a largely improvised nonsense story from a bunch of 16–24-year-olds a little too seriously?”. And then I remembered. I’m a pretentious bitch. I made an 18-minute video explaining why the popular commentary YouTuber memeulous is secretly the time travelling Anti-Christ, REASON HAS NO SWAY OVER ME!

So, like the English Major drop-out that I am, I will present you with two theses, which I will then combine into one … supratheses! That word doesn’t exist, I just coined it, it’s mine! I am very smart!

[I know words, I have the best words!]

Thesis #1: The Fandom focuses too much on Character Analysis in Favour of Narrative Analysis

The Dream SMP is truly something special. It is uniquely singular in how it tells a story of this scope through its chosen medium. While there is an overarching script that lays out the plot points of the future, each of the 30+ streamers on the SMP are their own cameraman, director, writer and actor. You cannot watch “the Dream SMP” – if you attempted that, you would be 80 by the time you caught up to the Doomsday Event. You have to choose whom to watch. You have to choose your focal point character.

Because by the way the story is told and consumed – aka in such a compartmentalized fashion; you watch one streamer and get one character’s perspective – it has sort-of unintentionally conditioned fans to look at the SMP and its characters less as one coherent story with messages and themes and more as sports teams they can root for. You’re Team Techno or Team Tubbo or Team Tommy or Team JackManifoldTV (formerly known as Thunder1408) and every other side is in the wrong! It’s like Twilight for a decade old children’s game about virtual Lego!

Okay, I’m exaggerating, but the amount of discourse perpetuated by and revolving around so-called “apologists” – a terrible term that unfortunately has caught on – is really not something that I think is good for how we interact with the story of the Dream SMP.

The Dream SMP is discussed a lot on character-based level, which is, like I said before, hugely advantaged by the way the story is consumed by its audience. With traditional, visual media such as film for example, the audience can be made more aware of what messages the narrative might try to communicate on a narrative level without the need for an explicit narrator to tell you the moral.

As an example, in a movie you could have a smash-cut from the Butcher Army’s discussions about neutralizing the danger Technoblade poses to Techno being nice around villagers or taking care of animals. This would communicate on an extradiegetic level, that the Butcher Army is in the wrong with their assumptions. Alternatively, you could contrast Techno’s declarations that power corrupts and that Tubbo’s administration is cruel with Tubbo choosing not to punish Ranboo for his association with Techno – thus the narrative would communicate that Techno’s view of Tubbo and by extension the government is one-sided and not true to reality.

Stuff like that helps the viewer understanding a story holistically and manages to communicate stuff like themes and morals without having to solely rely on in-character logic and argumentation, which, as Ghostbur put it so eloquently, is comprised of a bunch of unreliable narrators.

Character analysis is great if we want dive deep, if we really want to give a character flavour and understand their motivations. It helps make the universe feel like it is alive, like it’s real. But – and this might be a shocker for you – it’s not real. It’s written. It is construction – and as such, in its construction, it has messages and themes and morals, intentionally or unintentionally.

By being so focused on specific characters and their individual journeys, viewpoints and motivation we really run the risk of not looking at the bigger picture and fail to see what the overarching narrative is actually communicating. And we may also fail to understand how characters might or might not fit into the overarching narrative.

Speaking of which …

Thesis #2: Technoblade experiences very little Meaningfultm Thematic Conflict

Okay, let’s talk about Technoblade. I’m sure I’m not going to get any hate for this one.

I want to preface by saying that I don’t watch Technoblade’s streams; I catch up though clip channels and summaries. I’m mainly watching Tommy, Tubbo and Quackity – which is honestly already more than I can handle – but I want to be clear that while I’ll try to be as even-handed as possible – like I explained previously – the way I consumed the storylines will undoubtedly leave me with some bias.

Also, needless to say, I’m talking about the character Technoblade, not the actual content creator, unless I specifically say so. That should be obvious.

Now, I’m not doing a Technoblade character analysis, because that would be hypocritical of me – seeing how I just bitched about the overwhelming amounts of character analyses in the fandom – but I’ll try my best to summarize what is necessary.

Technoblade’s interesting in that he is a very static character – at least inwardly – he doesn’t change much. He is very steadfast in his beliefs and ideals and has very little introspection. He doesn’t question himself; he doesn’t waver, he is never in a bind about whether what he’s doing is right or wrong. He is very much a parallel to early TommyInnit – who, of course, famously said “I’m always in the right”.

And I want to emphasize that I mean this in no way as a critique of Techno’s character. A static character provides a nice contrast to more dynamic characters and can balance them out. It can also be utilised by the writing as a character flaw – which is what I hope content creator Techno is going for.

Like Techno doesn’t have a lot of empathy in the sense that he is particularly skilled at or interested in trying to see the viewpoints of others. There is never an attempt to reconcile, for example, the goal of the Pogtopians to reclaim L’Manberg and install another administration with his desire for an anarchist society. This is also compounded with his overreliance on violence as the only tactic for conflict resolution – Techno has a whole thesis statement about violence being the only universal language. I’m sure you’ve heard the quote.

And lastly, what really drives this all over the edge, is his all-or-nothing approach when dealing with the enemy – he is not so much eye for an eye as he is – to use another biblical example – you make fun of me for being bald and I’ll sic two bears on you that maul and kill you and 41 other children.

There’s also the open and completely unacknowledged hypocrisy of a self-described anarchist working together with a man that installs and dethrones Kings with his every whim – someone who – and I cannot stress this enough – hits about every box when it comes to the definition of tyrant.

So, what I’m saying is that Technoblade is the Dream SMP equivalent of Dick Chenney. C’mon you know it’s true! He will bomb that freedom into your country whether you want him to or not. That’s some cogent political commentary in the year 2021.

Okay, so now that I’ve outlined his character, what kind of conflicts does Technoblade face. Well, it’s mostly physical or external. He fights a lot whether it’s against Quackity or Sapnap or bodying Karl Jacobs five times in a row. And – with the exception of maybe Sapnap – none of it is challenging. Technoblade is the best PvP-Player on the server – there really isn’t much tension to be had from a purely physical fight.

So, how are these fights supplemented emotionally. Well, internally there is not a lot going on. As I said before, Technoblade isn’t really an introspective character. Even during his shouting match with Tommy there’s not a sense that Technoblade is wavering or unsure of himself in the way that Tommy is. He exposits that one of the reasons, he acts like he does is that he feels dehumanized; that people only use him like a weapon and then discard or even try to neutralize him once he’s no longer useful.

But that is not something that Technoblade has to grapple with – it’s not conflict for him, it’s more conflict for Tommy. Technoblade is self-assured in that he’s a person and not a weapon – it’s almost like there was a character arc there, where Technoblade self-actualizes and breaks away from the people that want to use him. But we didn’t see any of it. Technoblade unleashes the withers; then he goes into retirement because he wants to be, I suppose, and then he returns to violence as a reaction to the Butcher Army. There is a story of vengeance here, but not any conflict about being used. There is never a point where we see Technoblade come to this realization or comes to assert himself.

In season 1 there’s never a push from Pogtopia where the narrative frames them as exploiting Technoblade. He fights with them of his own volition, he gives them weapons and armour of his own volition. Nobody pressured Techno into procuring their inventory for the fight. And in Season 2, he’s the one to approach Tommy about their potential partnership – he is in the position of power here, explicitly not Tommy.

Like, I’m sorry, if this ruffles some feathers, but I really don’t see this arc where Technoblade is being used. There’s a story of misunderstanding and maybe co-dependency – but not of dehumanization. This entire line of thought seems to solely reference that moment, where Tommy says to Sapnap “I have the blade” during one of their wars – which, to base an entire emotional arc around that without any further set-up, is, and I’m sorry to say that, incredibly flimsy.

Okay, so we covered physical and emotional conflict? But what about conflict on the narrative level? Well, that leads me to my suprathesis …

Suprathesis: The Narrative is Unclear on how it treats Technoblade … and that’s Not Good.

Here’s a Hot Take: The narrative of Season 1 treats Technoblade way less sympathetically than that of season 2.

Let me explain. The narrative of Season 1 revolves mostly around Wilbur and Tommy. The emotional fulcrum of the overall narrative is Wilbur’s rise and fall from Grace – and Tommy succeeding him as symbol of L’Manberg’s “special”-ness. Now I will talk about all that more in detail, when I talk about Season 1 of the Dream SMP. So, you’ll just have to go with me on this one for now.

Technoblade, by contrast, doesn’t really have much going on thematically in Season 1. He mostly exists as a sort-of utilitarian character – he is an accessory to make story beats happen. Like him executing Tubbo doesn’t open up any sort of thematic conflict involving him – on a character level it sets up antipathy between him and Tommy and it grants us some insight into how he operates with his violence speech – but on a larger-scale narrative level it really just shows how far Wilbur and Tommy have drifted apart in how they react to the event.

His biggest contribution is during the Season 1 finale, but even there he plays second fiddle to Wilbur. Not just because Wilbur does way more destruction with his explosion than Techno does with his Withers, but also because Wilbur had an emotional and thematic climax to his arc and by extension the entire storyline. Like Techno’s is a cool moment and very epic visual but in terms of thematic relevance, his Theseus-speech is really more set-up for Season 2.

And Season 1 is very unambiguous about L’Manberg being good and Tommy’s ideals ultimately being morally justified – I mean, they have a whole speech about it in the end and it was built-up throughout the entire Season – Techno is cast in a … less than sympathetic light. He is, if not a villain, then definitely an antagonist.

But with Season 2 the narrative is either uninterested in or not very clear on exploring Technoblade’s flaws.

Like ask yourselves: is Technoblade’s character ever consciously challenged by the narrative? Are his actions ultimately shown to not be in the right? Are his beliefs about government and power ever called into question? Are the negative consequences that his actions cause ever shown to be larger than the “good” he does?

I think what exemplifies this the most is how the Butcher Army event played out on December 16th. Now, during that event, the Butcher Army, which was comprised of Tubbo, Quackity, Fundy and Ranboo, managed to apprehend Technoblade, who at that point was living the quiet retirement life, and tried to have him publicly executed – without trial.

Now, smarter people than me have pointed out that the Butcher Army had a bevy of in-character reasons that can justify or explain their actions. And that’s definitely interesting, but as I said before, I want to get away from that and look into how the Butcher Army is treated on a narrative level. Because this is one of the few instances where the otherwise grey-loving Season 2 has some very clear narrative intent when it comes to morality.

The Butcher Army is very deliberately framed as almost cartoonishly corrupt and violent. They very forcefully investigate Philza, mock him and then put him under house arrest – and there’s just no remorse in the script even from normally sympathetic characters like Tubbo.

Compare and contrast with the Tommy-exile scene, which is also an act of moral ambiguity and is treated as such. And things get even worse once the Army arrives at Technoblade’s abode and attack him after he softly tells them that he has left that live behind him. They then proceed to take his horse hostage, mock him and execute him without fair trial – and I haven’t seen it but from live commentary I gathered that Techno really played up the whole softie-schtick before the Butcher Army arrived. I mean, before the big Technoblade vs Quackity fight, Quackity had whole villain monologue for Christ’s sake.

And even afterwards, the Butcher Army really plays up the corrupt angle with Tubbo proposing a festival as a guise to publicly execute someone. And again, I know that on an intradiegetic there’s nuances and it’s not really comparable to the Red Festival, but in combination with what the audience has seen up until that point and with how much it feeds into the already established themes of history repeating itself and becoming like your predecessors, it really does not paint a pretty picture of the Tubbo administration.

You can feel the heavy hand of the script on your shoulder, which is a feat seeing how – as discussed before – that’s not something that can be easily accomplished in this medium.

And that is what I mean when I say that Technoblade is not really challenged by the script and is in this case even emboldened by it. Because after this whole ordeal the thought of Technoblade taking revenge by destroying L’Manberg doesn’t seem like such an extreme response to the viewer – even though in my opinion, it is.

As of right now it is too early to say how the narrative will judge Technoblade’s actions in the future. Will they be framed as extreme but ultimately justified or perpetuating a cycle of ever-escalating vengeance? Will we ever see a government that’s not just at best misguided and at worst completely awful?

Ultimately, I believe and hope that Technoblade will be challenged by the narrative, mostly because a character that cannot, believably, be physically challenged, who doesn’t have any meaningful internal conflict about what he’s doing; and who does come out on the other side having everything he always believed in be proven completely in the right by the narrative, would be incredibly boring. Not just to watch but also to play as.

As it stands now, if the destruction Techno, Phil and Dream inflicted upon L’Manburg is framed as ultimately in the right, I would find it personally a distasteful message to send. I would ultimately say that the “correct” way to counter corruption in government is to completely obliterate the entire country. Like we’re not talking simply disbanding the government – that’s not what Doomsday was – we’re talking complete and utter annihilation. And that would be cynical and depressing. Like, call me a big softie, but even bothsidesing this argument would be bad.

Like, I’m not calling for Technoblade to be transformed into or treated a monster like Dream. But I personally feel like the narrative needs to acknowledge that the Doomsday was something that was taken way too far and that it ultimately brought more harm than good. And Technoblade needs to held accountable by someone who is not a cartoonishly corrupt government-official or who is in conflict with him anyway, like Tommy.

I thought Philza or Ranboo could do that but seeing how their storylines are progressing I don’t believe that will be the case. But who knows, maybe Captain Puffy will come through for us. We stan a Queen.

Conclusion

So, yeah, I made this entire video just to air out my grievances with how one-sided the mode of analysis is in the fandom, because no person actually involved with the production of Dream SMP will ever see this.

But after everything I am cautiously optimistic, that content creator Technoblade knows what he’s doing. He has talked in the past about how his character is a bad guy and he loves his Greek myths. After all what’s more Greek myth than hybris being rewarded with punishment? [Technoblade never dies] That bodes well for him.

Also, this isn’t the video I promised at the end of the last one!

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jomiddlemarch · 3 years

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when there is nothing left to take away

Chapter 10

So far, Nina could say with confidence that she much preferred naked, sleeping, silent Matthias. The extremely well-dressed, alert, derisive version was giving her the beginning of a migraine and a powerful wish for a shiv; any leftover oxytocin/serotonin cocktail drenching her synapses, conjured by his very nice dick, was completely dissipated. Tsibeya had sent a car for them since his was mostly in need of digging out and then a tow and the whole ride from the motel had been an icy snipe-fest. She rested her head against the window and imagined pushing him off on an iceberg but he kept pestering her with clipped questions about what documentation she was going to retrieve and the where it was exactly and why again no one could have faxed or even mailed the paperwork to his office where it should have been filed properly in the first place…

“For faen, I said, you’ll see soon enough, Matthias—”

“I hate how you talk,” he interrupted.

“You’ve made that crystal clear,” Nina snapped. “But I don’t think I can emphasize this enough to you, follow my lead when we get there or this whole trip will have been a colossal waste of time.”

“And you’ll be headed to prison,” he said.

“No. We’ll be embroiled in a legal battle the likes of which you cannot begin to imagine, little man. I’m the reasonable one at the Grisha,” Nina said.

“Is that a threat?” he asked. “I don’t think you’re in any position—”

“Let’s not talk about threats or what positions we might find ourselves in, shall we? I don’t think it’s going to go in a direction you like.” She really laid into the like, dropping into her lower register and batting her eyelashes. He clenched his teeth and sat up a little straighter. There was a period of quiet, the kind you recognized preceded a bomb but they were saved by their arrival at Tsibeya. The main house was just elegant enough to keep the place from seeming like a hulking mass of stone carved from the side of a mountain and someone had sanded the walk so they could make it in without sliding all over the place. Matthias stood beside her, impossibly handsome in the morning light and Nina chewed at her lipstick, bracing herself. It could be a good day, she told herself. Maybe Petrova would even be back, could talk Matthias’s ear off about aviation regulations and airplane design while Nina did what needed to be done.

“Remember, follow my lead—"

“Chanina! Come in, come in, get out of the cold, you’re going to freeze!”

The great double doors opened and an older woman in a floral blouse, pastel slacks and a smocky kind of pinafore engulfed Nina in her arms; she smelled White Shoulders and cigarettes, which meant it could only be one person.

“Hello, Auntie Tirzah,” Nina said, letting herself be half-way dragged inside, glancing at Mattias to make sure he’d walked in behind her.

“You’re too thin, you’re not eating, I’m getting you a big bowl of kamavaht and you’re going to finish every bite!” Auntie Tirzah said. “And you might introduce me, you were raised better than this, Chanina—”

“Auntie, this is Matthias Helvar,” Nina began.

“Welcome to Tsibeya, Matthias,” Auntie Tirzah interrupted. “So terrible about your car and the roads, you poor thing, we’ll soon have you put to rights. You’ll need seconds on the kamavaht and I have some fresh rugelach, cinnamon, Chanina probably hasn’t kept you properly fed.”

“Thank you,” Matthias said. “I appreciate your hospitality but that’s not what—”

“Auntie, please,” Nina interjected. It was not looking to be a good day. She was going to have to go all in. With Matthias.

“Chanina, what? You bring home a young man and you want me to treat him like a dog? Like less than a dog, a teeny little mouse?” Auntie Tirzah said.

“I’m not—” Matthias tried. She shook her head slightly and shrugged.

“You’re right, Auntie. Let me introduce him. This is Matthias Helvar, he’s employed by the state government,” she said, seeing Matthias’s hunched-up shoulders relax, “and he’s my boyfriend.”

“Of course he is, Chanina. A blind man could see that, what do you take me for?” Auntie Tirzah said. “He’s clearly starving, look how pale he is, a big man like him has a big appetite.”

“I suppose so,” Nina said. Matthias looked gob-smacked and pretty much ready to collapse. She grabbed his hand in hers and gave it a squeeze that said keep the act up and hang in there and wow, you have huge hands and the kamavaht is actually pretty good but the rugelach is better. She wasn’t convinced he got any of it via the squeeze though, so she tugged at him and mercifully he started to walk with her, still holding her hand.

“You have a lovely home, Mrs. Zenik,” he said, clearing his throat as though the words had been choking him. Auntie Tirzah gave a wild laugh and Matthias looked at Nina, startled and apprehensive. She tried to give him a reassuring smile; he might want to put her in prison, but at Tsibeya, that didn’t seem quite as bad.

“This isn’t my home,” Auntie Tirzah said, wiping a tear from her eye, a crazy-laughter-tear that made the crazy laugh just that much worse. Nina found herself wishing Tirzah would light up a cigarette, some kind of normal gesture that would make everything seem less tipping into bat-shit crazy.

“Well, it sort of is, Auntie,” Nina said. “You’ve lived here so long—"

“Chanina, hush—if they hear!”

“I don’t understand,” Matthias said.

“I’m the cook,” Auntie Tirzah said. “For the family.”

“The family?”

“The Morozovs,” Nina said. “From the Grisha, Madama Morozova. And I guess I forgot to tell you before, the artistic director, Aleksander Kirigan, well, he’s Aleksander Morozov Kirigan.”

“Sasha,” Auntie Tirzah corrected. “He hasn’t been back in ages.”

“Maybe he doesn’t like getting force-fed cauldrons of kamavaht,” Matthias muttered.

“Everyone loves my kamavaht, Matthias,” Auntie Tirzah called out. “I’ve got ears like a bat, like a Ikonnikov’s bat, you can’t fool me!”

“I told you, play along—” Nina whispered.

“And what, no one gets hurt?” Matthias answered, at least matching her whisper. “You have to know how bad that sounds.”

“You don’t know from bad,” Nina said.

“You’d be surprised,” he said.

“Not at Tsibeya, I won’t,” she said. “You, on the other hand—just, finish the kamavaht and move on to the rugelach. You won’t regret that at least.”

Within minutes of directing them to the scrubbed kitchen table laid with clean mats and blessedly pouring out coffee and then, less-blessedly, virtual tureens of kamavaht, Tirzah began her interrogation with Ruta, the seemingly immortal maid whose hair had been the same iron-grey shade Nina’s entire life, sitting beside her silently, conducting her own.

“So, Matthias, tell us, where did you meet our Chanina?”

Nina opened her mouth to speak even though she’d be sure to be scolded for interrupting. It was true that Matthias had lost the facing-the-firing-squad expression he’d had but he didn’t know what they were up against. How easy it would be for everyone at Tsibeya to tear them to shreds, leaving both of them without any chance of getting what they’d come for—the documents that would either convict or exonerate Nina and the company.

“At the ballet. Where else could I have met Chanina?” he answered, smiling fondly, totally nailing the throaty ch- at the start of her full name. If she didn’t know better, she would have been completely fooled by his adoring boyfriend act.

“She works too hard,” Auntie Tirzah said. “She doesn’t come home enough, don’t I always say that, Ruta? Look at her, fading away!”

“I agree. I say the same thing to her all the time,” he replied, making Auntie Tirzah beam at him. And then, for no good reason other than maybe he wanted to stick it to Nina, he added. “May I please have another bowl of the kamavaht? I’ve never had anything like it.”

“Oh, of course! Chanina, this, this is what you want, a man with a healthy appetite,” Auntie Tirzah said, standing up to ladle out another bowl. With her back turned to them, Nina made a rude face at Matthias who only shrugged and gave her a bland look, then mouthed I know how to be a good boyfriend.

“You like the ballet?” Ruta asked. She was a woman of few words and not easily fooled.

“Not really,” he admitted, making them all laugh, Nina reluctantly. “I lost a bet at work. But as it turns out, I won.”

“Oh, you,” Nina sputtered a little. This was getting bizarre. Where was his stolid intransigence, his rigid focus on the truth, on propriety, on how everything about her was all wrong? Who was this charming stranger with a smear of kamavaht on his upper lip? How was he doing a better job being her boyfriend than she was at being his girlfriend—and how was he doing a better job than virtually every real man she’d ever dated? She couldn’t answer all the questions but she could make a start.

“You have something here,” she said, quickly wiping off the porridge in a brazen display of intimacy. His eyes darted to her lips and she smiled. Until he spoke.

“You always take such good care of me, perle,” he said. Sankta Maradi, if any of this were true… Well, two could play at this game and actually really needed to, if they were going to convince anyone besides Auntie Tirzah.

“You’re worth it,” she said. For some reason, that was what made him flush.

“What was Chanina like as a little girl?” he asked. “You lived here, right? With the Morozovs?”

“That’s ancient history, so boring,” Nina said, waving her hand around. He was investigating the ballet while faking being her boyfriend, an angle that could yield possibly incriminating information and she couldn’t be sure a judge would throw it out when she explained about the pretense. Yes, he might get himself in trouble this way but she wasn’t gunning to get him as a cellmate in Ravka’s Central Prison in Chernast.

“No, it’s not. Not to me,” Matthias said. “Are there photo albums?” He might as well have emerged from a lamp to grant Auntie Tirzah’s dearest wish and she jumped up, muttering to herself about which album he’d like most, heading for her rooms to get the photos. Ruta gave Matthias a keen look but said nothing other than a brief word to excuse herself. That was when Nina turned on him.

“What are you doing?” she hissed.

“You said I should play along and evidently, you decided that meant I’m your boyfriend now. So, I’m being your boyfriend, Chanina,” he said. “I gather that’s your real name? Chanina Zenik? Not Nina?”

“You make it sound like I’m using an alias. Nina’s my nickname, so what?” she said. “You were supposed to follow my lead, not upstage me doing some insane Method acting. What’s wrong with you?”

“Besides eating too much kamavaht? Nothing,” he shrugged. “I’m sorry my acting skills aren’t up to your standards—it’s been a while since I was in Uncle Vanya with the Gjela Players. I thought we were coming here as professionals to politely request financial and legal documents or related items that would explain what in the living fuck is going on at the Grisha,” he said, his voice tightly controlled, each word charged. “Instead of this, this farce.”

“You seem to be enjoying yourself,” she countered. “If there was scenery, you’d be eating it.”

“This isn’t as challenging as Chekov,” he snapped. “Why are we doing this? What possible reason could there be—”

“You insisted on coming with me. I know how they are at Tsibeya, they’d never have handed over anything if they had a clue who you are,” Nina said. “The case you have is pretty damning without the stuff that’s here, you’d ruin the ballet, Kirigan—”

“You,” he interrupted.

“Me, fine, I’m selfish for not wanting to go to prison when I haven’t done anything wrong,” she said. “Even if down the road, the documents came to light, it would be too late. And not just for me, however self-absorbed you think I am.”

“You bring home so many guys they just assume anyone with you is your latest boyfriend?” he asked, the disgust in his tone mixed with what could only, weirdly, be jealousy.

“I’ve never brought anyone home before,” she said. There was a long pause as they looked at each other. Nina could hear Tirzah coming down the hall, doubtlessly carrying a stack of photo albums filled with the most embarrassing pictures of her imaginable. At least there wouldn’t be any of her with Kirigan; he only came in the summers and they’d always sent her away to camp or to visit some other relative by the seashore, not that there was much reason for him to take an interest in a child who belonged to the servants.

“Technically, you still haven’t,” he said quietly.

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” she retorted.

“I don’t know. Does it?” he asked like he was genuinely interested in her answer, reminding her of how closely he’d held her in the night. He quickly smiled at Tirzah who sat down heavily right beside him, opening up the album she’d shoved in front of him.

“Here’s our Chanina Naomi, eating her first kamavaht,” she said, pointing to a photo of a nearly naked baby Nina in a highchair.

“Eating it or wearing it?” Matthias laughed, reaching over to squeeze Nina’s hand. He was back in character, she was almost nearly 100% certain of it. When they were alone, she could try to make a plan with him about how to proceed. And ask who he’d played in Uncle Vanya.

#shadow and bone #helnik #ballet au #modern au #nina zenik #matthias helvar #nina and Matthias go to tsibeya #nina backstory #family #humor #romance #faking dating #how many tropes can I cram into this fic #basically daring myself #nina x matthias #there are extensive footnotes on AO3 for this chapter #ballet shoes #cameo from petrova #petrova in ravka spinoff would be my jam

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simpbur · 3 years

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hello! i would like ur 40 song wiblur playlist

anon thank you so much for asking <333 while it would’ve been easier to just drop the link i have so many thoughts about everything so i explained why every single song has its spot on this list which was IMMENSELY fun for me

(also: if anyone does want the link i can provide both apple music and spotify but if u would like the apple music link i’d rather it be through dms or an ask off anon that i can make private!)

another also: i bolded all the songs for ease of perusing if you don’t want the director’s commentary and bolded + italicized the ones that i think fit Very Well

another another also: wrote the second bit of this on my laptop and the keyboard is p funky so if there are any typos or things that do not make sense i will try to fix them asap haha

saint bernard by lincoln: this is one of those like. Dream SMP Songs that i added because it fits into so many different relationships and plot lines and arcs but i think there’s some connection to c!wlbur somewhere out there. idk i asked my friend and he said to add it so this one goes out to him

amnesia was her name by lemon demon: ghostbur song ghostbur song! mostly comes from this lovely animatic

o valencia! by the decemberists: okay this is one of those songs that only really has one lyric that fits but is an absolutely banger so it’s here anyway. you’ll also notice a trend of quasi love songs that i relate to c!wilbur’s perception of l’manburg and i think this song shows this in a really cool way, esp with the chorus (‘and i swear to the stars i’ll burn this whole city down’ is The Line)

achilles come down by gang of youths: another one of those Dream SMP Songs. i think this fits better with c!tommy but i like it too much to remove it. this is a somewhat common trend with the earlier songs on this playlist (i’ve been building this thing since january, for reference)

brave as a noun by ajj: another Dream SMP Song. i think certain verses fit better than others when it comes to wilbur’s character but that ones that work really work

harness your hopes by pavement: a song that is one here for vibes alone. i have no idea what these lyrics mean. all i know is that i heard it, thought of c!wilbur, and put it on the playlist. thank you all for being here

evelyn evelyn by evelyn evelyn: sad-ist made this a tommy and tubbo song (as she should) so it’s validity on this playlist is questionable but folks used to compare it to wilbur and tommy’s relationship during the pogtopia arc and i think some points were made there

the execution of all things by rilo kiley: i’m so excited to get here because this was the first song i put on the playlist that i think really works and i thumb nailed an animatic for the last verse and november 16th so! i think it’s a good l’manburg song and the last verse has some good ghostbur lines (‘and lately you’re all alone with nothing left but sleep/but sleep never comes to you, it’s the guilt and forever wakefulness of the weak’)

i’m just your problem from adventure time: this ones a bit tricky since at is my favorite show of all time and i cannot detach this song from its in-show context very well but there is a very cool animatic with this song that landed it a spot on the playlist

man burning by josh ritter: almost became an animatic but the audio i wanted to use (which i recorded at a josh ritter concert and it’s just him and his guitar and there’s echo and it’s very haunting and pretty) has my stepbrother singing in the background and i could not edit it out so. that will probably not happen. but anyways the only hole i would pick in this song is that it’s mostly about self sabotage which isn’t really applicable but i think the imagery is cool

mamma mia by abba: here me out. here me out. this is another song that fits so well and i have spent so many hours thinking about this and somewhere there is a note on my phone explaining how every single line relates to c!wilbur’s entire arc from founding l’manburg to the resurrection (made when we thought gbur was going to get resurrected in january) and just. the metaphorical ‘you’ is l’manburg does this make any sense (another almost animatic except now that wilbur’s actually back it might become an actual animatic)

the other side of paradise by glass animals: no idea why this is here other than being a Dream SMP Song. it’s good tho

infinitesimal by mother mother: they saaaaay it stared with a big bang but they saaaaaaaay it came out of a small thing latelyyyyy i’ve been feeling like a big bang You Know

curses by the crane wives: had a thing drawn out for this song showing the comparisons between c!wilbur and c!niki because of the chorus and i think the last two lyrics of said chorus are the best thing about this one

lonely eyes by the front bottoms: gotta admit that i have no idea how this song got on here but i’ve come to associate it with ghostbur based on vibes alone. it’s a friendly song he’s a friendly ghost it works. the other tfb song coming up fits a bit better methinks

king of new orleans by better than ezra: not to put better than ezra on my c!wilbur playlist but like. something about the whole ‘tasing something up to let it fall’ motif makes me think

get me away from here, i’m dying by belle and sebastian: another almost animatic song (there’s a trend here). not only does the story told in this song work i like the lines ‘play me a song to set me free/nobody writes them like they used to so it may as well be me’ in relation to my l’manburg

montgomery forever by the front bottoms: certain bits and pieces of this song fit so well, specifically the chorus and those bits in the last two choruses Yeah (’montgomery forever and ever and ever and now they’re blowing it up/(x2)/as you started laughing and crying and trying to explain how all you want to do is leave’)

don’t look back in anger by oasis: out of all my almost animatic songs, this one got the furthest. the animatic, which I got pretty far in thumbnailing, was about wilbur and tommy and kind of drawing comparisons between their characters, also about the revolution in general. maybe i’ll finish that animatic one day idk

snow by ricky montgomery: i wish i had a link for this so bad but!! saw art on twitter!! with the lyric ‘bury me six feet in snow’!! and went ahfsdjfk!!

burning pile by mother mother: a Dream SMP Song. also a jam there’s no real specific connection for this one but i think it could fit in a couple of ways

rounds by the oh hellos: in the same position as snow except it was on tumblr..... @ whoever made this comic i saw these lyrics in your brain is massive and your art is incredible

lovely by mt. eddy: on here for vibes alone. there’s something in the lyrical content too, but my thoughts in that regard are not very fleshed out

adventures in solitude by the new pornographers: ah yes..... the song that prompted this all...... this is a beautiful and incredibly well written song and if you’re going to listen to any song off of this playlist i’d encourage you to listen to this one. it’s place of here is mostly cause of the chorus but the imagery in the verses could all represent a part of c!wilbur and i’d love to explore that more

caught in the middle by paramore: obligatory paramore song. i think it got on here because limbo = ‘middle’ but i’m not quite sure. on the verge of being deleted if i can find a better pmore song

delicate by damien rice: one of the oddest songs on this list and i am well aware that it sticks out like a sore thumb. a song that’s on here pretty much because of one lyric, which is ‘and why’d you sing hallelujah/if it means nothing to you’ which i related to both eret’s betrayal and how my l’manburg is hallelujah yknow

bang! by ajr: almost animatic song. i think we all know what the bang is here

somewhere only we know by lily allen: ik i said don’t look back in anger has the most potential to get made into an animatic but this song might actually take it place. on par with adventures in solitude in terms of how pretty of a song it is, and probably even moreso. it’s kind of turned into a ghostbur song in my head, and makes me cry like an infant child every time i hear it

a pearl by mitski: i cannot defend this song’s place on here past the line ‘it’s just that i fell in love with a war and nobody told me it ended’

eight by sleeping at last: the official c!wilbur song needs a spot on here <3 if i can dig up the clip of cc!wilbur talking about this song in relation to his character i’ll add it but until then yeah <3

always by rilo kiley: no idea why this is on here but it fits well!! could not tell you why!! banger!!

celebration guns by stars: it’s a hauntingly beautiful song about war, and kind of one of those that necessarily isn’t about wilbur but moreso his place in the story? idk how to explain it but yes

passerine by the oh hellos: it’s. it’s from the . the fic. yeah h

oh, you are the roots that sleep beneath my feet and hold the earth in place by bright eyes: added this after the real resurrection and i think it’s because fo the imagery? also the last verse

we are beautiful, we are doomed by los campesinos!: all i have to say is ‘i cannot emphasize enough that my body/is a badly designed, poorly put together vessel/harboring these diminishing, so called vital organs/i hope my heart goes first, i hope my heart goes first!’ has always made me think of pogtopia era wilbur :(

dead weight by jack stauber: no real connection other than eret played this song during a break during the ghostbur’s january ‘resurrection’ and i heard it and went :0

point me at lost lands by tired pony: gives me season on l’manburg vibes..... i love how free and passionate it sounds and that's p much the only reason it’s on this list haha

ghosting by mother mother: added this five seconds ago because i could not BELIEVE it was not on here. ghostbur song. mans sang it on that one stream with the reverb and everything. the lyrics ‘i will be kind and i’ll be sweet/if you stop staring straight through me’ hit particularly hard back when everyone thought that ghostbur was actually wilbur in disguise

#oh man. oh man #this was so fun ty anon #i'll do some spell checking after i write my english paper but for now take this #wooo boy #also if i interpreted canon wrong i do apologize i am here to have fun and think about fictional character #anon #ask

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animebw · 3 years

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Binge-Watching: Ore Monogatari, Episodes 19-21

In which Takeo’s mom finally gets to shine, Takeo continues to explore the importance of helping people, and Sunakawa’s story goes in an interesting direction.

Supermom

It’s a criminal shame we haven’t seen more of Takeo’s parents. Every time they’re on screen is a delight, and it was about time they finally got some focus. Takeo’s mom finally delivers her baby in episode 19, and unsurprisingly, it’s yet another wonderful addition to the show’s tapestry (if moving a bit too fast at times; when did that other lady have a chance to give birth?). Takeo’s mom takes no shit, gives no shit, and puts her all into everything she does. Not even being pregnant stops her from living her life, and not even going into labor keeps her from reassuring her son that everything’s gonna be alright. She is supermom personified, and I love how the show emphasizes her strength of character both alongside and separate from her femininity. Takeo’s dad talks about how he was struck by a desire to protect his future wife from the trials of life, but she’s always been the one protecting him. Meanwhile, Takeo’s barely holding his emotions together during the labor process, while his mom takes it all on the chin with the experience of a woman who’s been through this rodeo before. She has both stereotypically masculine and stereotypically feminine strengths, and she’s treasured for both of them. She’s yet another example of how damn good this show is at letting its characters live free of gendered paradigms. Moms can be physically and emotionally strong at the same time, men can be inspired to live up to their example, and there’s no shame or qualifications on any of it. I seriously cannot stress enough how refreshing this is, no matter how many times Ore Monogatari touches on it.

Look for the Helpers

Episode 19 also serves as more great development for Takeo’s desire to help people. Just like our last visit to the hospital, Takeo’s sister’s birth can’t help but raise a lot of vulnerable subjects that he can’t help but think about. Takeo’s been lucky in a lot of different ways. He was born big and strong, to a loving family who could support him, and his life’s gone remarkably well. But the same can’t be said for everyone. Yamato was born a sickly child at first, malnourished and underweight. She thankfully got better and is now living a happy, healthy live (and my god, her beaming smile as she flexes for the camera shot me straight through the heart HOW ARE YOU SO ADORABLE), but things could have easily taken a turn for the worse. And for a lot of people, things do get worse. Not everyone’s been lucky enough to live the kind of carefree, mostly untroubled life Takeo’s led. And the stressful labor makes Takeo realize how much he’s taken that for granted. He’s never seen his mom in such a painful state, and it scares the bejeesus out of him. It’s only thanks to his friends’ support that he’s able to settle down, and I’m just gonna want that clip of Yamato softly touching his back on repeat for the next ten years, please and thank you (Side note, how great is it that Suna gets a chance to repay Takeo for being his support during his dad’s health crisis?). It makes him realize that a lot of people must deal with far worse situations than this, situations that throw their lives irreparably out of balance. And seeing his little sister for the first time, safe and happy after all that anxiety, he realizes more than ever that he wants to dedicate his life to helping people. He’s been blessed with so much good fortune, it’s only fair he grows up into an adult who pays that luck back to those less fortunate than him.

It’s a beautifully understated moment of growth, one among many that have really defined the back half of this show. If the first twelve episodes were mostly about Takeo and Yamato’s developing relationship, then it seems the last twelve episodes have shifted focus to developing Takeo’s sense of the world by tossing a bunch of different side characters at him and seeing how they affect him. If I’m being honest, I don’t think it’s been quite as strong as the first half? There’s a bit more of a feeling of disconnect between the various people that wander into Takeo’s life, whereas his relationship with Yamato has always been pretty much flawlessly focused. But I’m not complaining too much; it’s still a good excuse for us to see new sides of these characters and push the status quo from getting too set in stone. Which brings us to the biggest upheaval yet: a potential love interest for Sunakawa that he actually seems potentially interested in.

Sunakawa in the Spotlight

Sunakawa’s long been my favorite character in this show. His function as an excuse to bypass all the common rom-com misunderstandings and just let the leads talk to each other is one of Ore Monogatari’s most valuable elements. But on a more personal level, I’m also fascinated by how content he is to remain in the background. Even when Takeo’s dragging him along to social events, his instinct is to sit back, relax, and let events unfold around him, only stepping in when things are clearly getting out of hand. As an introvert who tends to take a backseat in group conversations, I relate to that a lot. And that goes double for his seeming ambivalence to romance. Not that I was as romance-averse as he was; honestly, my high school crushes were legendarily powerful. But as I’ve grown older, I’ve actually become really comfortable not worrying about getting a girlfriend or wanting to date for the sake of dating. I’m not opposed to starting a relationship with someone I’m close too, but it would probably have to come from someone asking me out rather than the other way around. And I’m very curious exactly where Suna’s perspective on things lines up. Is there a deeper reason why he’s not looking for a relationship beyond it just not being his thing? Is it just because all the girls who asked him out were rude to Takeo? Maybe he’s even somewhat ace or aro? Probably not that last one; this is a shojo romance, and woe betide anyone in such stories who’s heart doesn’t go pitter-patter at some point. But it’s definitely interesting how he’s the one character in this show who’s shown basically no attraction to anyone else.

So the question is, what is it about his quasi-stalker Amami that makes him say, “Sure, I’ll get to know you and we’ll see what happens?” Is it because of all the anonymous messages she’s left him over the years? Maybe the sincerity of the feelings in those letters reached him, demanding nothing of him but that he know that someone, somewhere, cared about him deeply. Maybe he’s touched by how upfront she is with her confessions, so overwhelmed with feelings that she blows past her shyness without realizing and somehow says exactly what she most wants to say. Either way, something about her has made him decide not to shut her out immediately like he’s done countless times in the past. And what about Amami? The fact she’s kinda been stalking Suna for ten years certainly raises some red flags, and it’s clear she’s not exactly seeing Suna clearly either. Her rose-tinted glasses see the same idealized dreamboat figure that makes so many girls fall for him, but to Takeo, Sunakawa’s just normal. A really cool guy, to be sure, but not someone to be put on a pedestal. He’s learned his lesson from dating Yamato not to treat people as pristine statues that could shatter if they twist out of shape. And it’s particularly hmm-inducing that Amami, like Suna’s ever-growing list of rejects, can’t help but compare Suna’s seeming cool beauty perfection with the boisterous, disheveled enthusiasm of Takeo and the other kindergarten boys. Honestly, though, I have no idea where this subplot is going to go, and that’s kind of exciting. Usually I can figure out this show’s point well before it makes it, but every once in a while it throws me a curveball that keeps me guessing. Here’s hoping it’s handled more like Saijo’s subplot than Oda’s.

Odds and Ends

-”I had... a lot on my mind that day.” GOD THAT’S STILL SO CUTE

-”It’s not that funny, Suna!” That’s where you’re wrong, my dude.

-Lololol he stops back to ask where the wallet is

-”A burglar? No, wait, that was me!” dkfjhsdfkjhsdf

-That baby is fucking adorable, what the hell. It’s like a mini Takeo!

-Lol at Suna casually recovering his tossed bag and shoving it back in his arms. What a bro.

-”I have to work hard not to put pressure on her.” Takeo’s such a good egg, man.

-”But you really have to be careful about holding my legs.” ...alright then.

-And that’s how you broach a dating possibility. Nice and casual, guys.

-”Takeo, that’s not the way home.” sdkjfhsdkjfhds

-”WHY DIDN’T I SAVOR IT?!” fucking rip

-aaaAAAAAAAAA WE GOT A BLOWN KISS AND CATCH WHY IS THIS SHOW SO FUCKING CUTE

-”Thank you for falling in love with me.” I am deceased

-”Well, having someone enjoy eating something you made makes me happy.” How nice being on the other side of the equation for once, right?

-”I’m not good at it either!” When an introvert meets a socially awkward doofus.

-”Don’t scream! I thought you were going to fall!” sdkfjhskdfjhds

-”It was like this, and this, and that!” “I get the general idea now.” Suna, you’re a blessing.

-”You can say no if you don’t want to go. Your feelings are the most important here.” Have I mentioned I love how Takeo respects everyone’s boundaries?

God, how are we at the end already? Life’s just not fair sometimes. See you next time when we wrap up Ore Monogatari!

#anime #the anime binge-watcher #tabw #ore monogatari #my love story

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beautifulterriblequeen · 4 years

Text

Total Eclipse of the Heart

For Ruthari Week 2020

AU: Canon

Pairings: Runaan x Ethari

Rating: Gen

Archive warnings: None

Prompt #6: Light/Shadow

“Runaan, you can’t be serious.” Ethari’s spoon hovered in midair. “Things are bad enough—”

“They are,” Runaan agreed. “And this will fix them.” He spread jam across his breakfast roll and took a bite.

Ethari stared at him for a long moment, taking in his apparent contentment with his decision. “You’re serious. You already told her yes.”

“Mmhm.”

“Without discussing it with me.” Ethari’s voice was flat.

That caught Runaan’s attention. He stopped chewing and looked up, eyes soft. After a moment of contemplation, he tongued his food aside and said around it, “It’s an assassin matter, Ethari. I didn’t feel the need to consult you.”

The spoon returned to Ethari’s porridge bowl with more force than was necessary. “It’s a Rayla matter, Runaan. You’re not the only one looking after her. We should have talked about this before you agreed—”

“I’m barely looking after her at all, Ethari. You talk to her teachers. You help her make her favorite clothes. You cook all her favorite foods. What do I do for her?”

Ethari softened and reached across the nook table. “Runaan, you do plenty. You’ve taught her everything she knows about tracking, defense, fighting... Even Tiadrin’s favorite moves. And she loves you for that. I know she does.”

“Don’t speak her name in this house, Ethari.” Runaan’s eyes flared with warning ice.

Ethari froze with a pang in his heart as Runaan called him out for speaking of the ghosted. How could he just turn off his feelings for one of his best friends like that? “I… I’m sorry. It’s just so new, and it still hurts…”

Runaan picked sesame seeds off his roll with idle fingers, not looking up at Ethari anymore. “The Moon moves forward, Ethari. So must we. We’ve been over this.”

“I can’t move forward like you do, Runaan. You go too fast for me.”

Runaan’s brows drew together for a moment and his hands stilled. “We need to step together on this, Ethari. For Rayla’s sake.”

A small exhalation of pain puffed past Ethari’s lips. “Runaan, I can’t. It hurts too much. Please. Please reconsider what you told Rayla. She’s not ready.”

Runaan sat across from him in perfect stillness. Ethari held his breath—he’d said something perfectly wrong, and now was no time to misstep. Not so soon after Lain and Tiadrin’s ghosting.

Finally, Runaan shifted into motion again. He abandoned his roll and his tea and stood from his chair. “I need to go in. They need to see me in control today.”

He started to walk away without his usual morning farewell. Without any offer to continue a difficult discussion later. Ethari’s heart shivered and squeezed. “Runaan, wait.” He rose and caught Runaan’s hand, lifting it to his lips for a firm kiss while holding Runaan’s gaze.

Those turquoise eyes were hard and guarded, but Runaan did pause and shift closer to Ethari. He leaned a wiry shoulder against Ethari’s thicker one for a warm moment and sighed. Only then did he say what Ethari needed to hear. “We will discuss this later.”

Runaan slipped away, leaving Ethari’s fingers cold.

***

Evening came. Runaan and Rayla talked late into the night while Ethari fretted, pottering about in his workshop, flitting from one project to another, never completing anything. Finally, exhaustion began to set in, and he climbed the ladder to the rooms above and insisted that Rayla get some sleep.

Runaan joined him in their bedroom a few minutes later, and they tucked themselves into bed with hesitant movements. Ethari always hated this part of their discussions, this very first part where they hadn’t touched yet, when they each thought they were right. But he reached out his arms invitingly anyway, and Runaan relaxed atop his chest with his head on Ethari’s shoulder as easily as he always did, snuggling his fingertips beneath Ethari’s far shoulder.

Ethari let his fingers play idly with Runaan’s hair as they began to talk. Surely, surely, he could bring Runaan around. It was just a matter of being soft so Runaan could relax and think with his heart as well as his head.

“How was your day, my shade?” he began.

But Runaan shook his head against Ethari’s shoulder.

Ethari hugged him reassuringly. “They were watching too closely, weren’t they?”

“Always now. It’ll be like that for a while.”

“I’m sorry. How is Rayla?”

“Focused. I’ve never seen her like this.”

“What did you talk about tonight?” Ethari asked lightly, though he already dreaded the answer.

Runaan’s voice dropped low, as if he were trying to emphasize a truth that he knew Ethari wouldn’t care for. “She’s coming in to the arena tomorrow to train with the others.”

Irritation surged in Ethari’s chest. “Runaan, we agreed this morning to discuss this tonight. You shouldn’t go making plans when you know I disagree with you, not when things are this important!”

Runaan raised his head and stared down into Ethari’s eyes. “Ethari, this is what I do. Are you questioning my leadership of the Silvergrove assassins?”

“I… Runaan… she’s fifteen. She’s too young. She’s untested in combat.” Ethari’s hands gently caressed Runaan’s cheeks, hoping to ease him back down against Ethari’s chest.

But Runaan’s eyes glittered, and he tipped his horns warily. “I was there for every moment of her training, Ethari. I know what she can handle.”

Ethari’s soft approach wasn’t working. “She’s not cut out for being an assassin, Runaan. She’s too much like Lain—”

“I asked you not to say their names.”

A tiny flame of defensive anger flared hot in Ethari’s heart. “Well, I can’t let them go as easily as you can, Runaan,” he said stubbornly.

“There was nothing easy about it,” Runaan clipped. “I just have more practice at being hard enough to do whatever it takes than you do.”

Ethari’s brows drew together sharply. “Don’t you dare call me weak. Not right now. Not when you’re giving into your own need for Rayla’s love at the worst possible moment.”

Runaan backed up like a shot, kneeling beside Ethari, pulling the blanket off of Ethari’s chest with his sudden movement. “What do you mean by that?”

Ethari flexed up and leaned forward, reaching for Runaan’s tense arm with a soft hand. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap.”

Runaan shrugged him off. “Tell me what you meant, Ethari. Are you calling me weak?”

Ethari tightened his hand into a fist and set it in his lap. “You’re not looking at how this is making you feel, my heart. You’re withdrawn, you won’t meet my eyes very often, you’re acting on your own when you know I want to talk things through first. You know I'll try to stop you, and you're trying to head me off. And you’re right. I am trying to stop you.”

A strange look passed over Runaan’s face, of disbelief and something darker—betrayal. “She needs this, Ethari—a chance to set her family’s honor right again. And I’m in the perfect position to give it to her. It’s so clearly destined to be this way. Why would you keep it from her?”

“Runaan. She doesn’t need this. Not this. Not to be dragged to the human lands and told to kill for her parents’ sake. Not to take lives in exchange for being given honor. She doesn’t need those things. But you do. You need her to need them.”

Runaan was retreating—Ethari could feel it. “Don’t oversimplify things, Ethari. There is much more at work here than how I want Rayla to feel about me. The King of the Dragons has been murdered. No one knows what else the humans are planning. They need to be sent a message. One they cannot misunderstand—”

“You didn’t say I was wrong.”

“What?”

Ethari took a deep breath. “I said that taking Rayla along was something you needed. And you didn’t say it wasn’t. Runaan, please. You can complete your mission without Rayla.” His hand quested again for Runaan’s arm.

Runaan let Ethari run his hand down his arm, though he’d tensed up. “I can. But I won’t.”

“Please don’t be stubborn on this. Rayla’s too good-hearted for the work of an assassin. What if she can’t do what you ask of her?” Ethari’s hand slid up to cup Runaan’s cheek. “I don’t want her soft heart to put you all in danger. If she got anyone hurt—if she hurt you—it could break her.”

“Ethari.” Runaan’s hand covered his husband’s. “With Rayla’s parents ghosted, we’re all she has. We need to be there for her, no matter what she wants. And what she wants is to avenge her parents’ honor. She came to me—”

“And you should’ve told her no!”

Runaan froze in the wake of Ethari’s raised voice. His hand stiffened and fell away from Ethari’s, and his face closed down as if it had been swallowed by shadow. Ethari had rarely seen Runaan so cold, and never toward him. It chilled his heart. This was his assassin face, his work face. “It’s decided, Ethari. I lead the assassins. I assign the duty roster. I know Rayla’s skills, and I say she’s ready. I’m taking her to Katolis.”

Ethari gripped Runaan’s bare shoulder. “You know her skills, Runaan, but I know her heart. Please, listen to me—”

“I know her heart too, Ethari.” Runaan’s voice was quiet. “She loves me, and she needs what I can give her.”

“Runaan. My heart. You don’t give. You take.”

Runaan’s eyes lingered on Ethari’s face for a long while before he spoke. Finally, in a faint voice he said, “I’m sorry you find so little value in my profession, my heart. I won’t trouble you for further conversation tonight.”

Ethari sat stunned and lost as Runaan slipped out of bed and padded away, headed for somewhere else to sleep. They’d never failed to resolve their issues before. That was the whole point of waiting to discuss difficult topics until they were all snuggled up. But his foolproof plan had just found its first fool, and it was Ethari.

Ethari sat up with his arms wrapped around his knees for a long time, hoping Runaan would change his mind and come back. But he didn’t. And Ethari knew better than to try to find an assassin in the shadows when he didn’t want to be found.

Runaan settled into a corner of his sparring room with his back against the wall, rested his arms atop his knees and his forehead on his arms, and felt hot tears burning his eyes. Was it so bad to give Rayla exactly what she asked for? Runaan was mostly shadow. Ethari had been his light for years, his compass, his waxing Moon. And until Rayla asked Runaan to allow her on his mission, he had always believed, deep down, that he needed Ethari’s light to be a good Moonshadow. That the light of the Moon was the best expression of Moonshadow-ness. That he had nothing truly good and decent to offer on his own. That the darkness within him was a noble sacrifice for his people, serving no better purpose than to balance the great scales of the world.

But Rayla’s request changed all that. Runaan loved Rayla so much that he would do anything she asked of him, were it within his power to do so. And finally, finally, this was something he could offer her. He was finally of use to her. Finally more than just a stand-in for her parents. Finally more than just a trainer.

Rayla had come to him—not Ethari, not anyone else—him—with the deepest desire of her heart. Runaan would not say no to that show of trust, no matter what.

No matter what.

Runaan wanted so deeply for this to be the way he left his mark on Rayla’s life that his very soul ached for the completion of his mission, just so he could see her smile.

Runaan swiped away his tears and hardened his heart. I don’t need to be light. I am the shadow.

#runaan #ethari #runaan x ethari #runaari fanfic #ruthari week 2020 #ruthari fanfic #tdp fanfic #tdp fanfiction #angst #rayla #moonshadow elves #tdp

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prongsmydeer · 4 years

Text

Ayesha Liveblogs Tiger King

“I think it would be fair to say that Carole is the Mother Teresa of cats” now there’s a sentence I never thought I’d hear

“I’d never been a person who had friends” statements like this always perplex me because surely there had to be ONE other person in however long you quantify childhood that you identified with. Like not one whole ass person? You’re not the only person who loves cats Carole

The juxtaposition between Carole Baskin’s “Animal Print for Animal Rights” and Joe Exotic’s “Tiger King underwear is our bestseller” is poetic cinema

Okay this isn’t a reflection of my opinions on this man but I Saw a Tiger is a good country ballad there I said it

“When I first met Joe, I was like a month out of high school” well that’s not good

[Joe Exotic voice] Some people have tigers to cope

Doc Antle has only been on screen for 30 seconds and already he has made himself memorable by directing the film crew

Is Bhagavan Antle Indian in some way or did he just have a really intense Eat Pray Love journey with his guru

Also is he really a doctor orrrrrrrrr

“I am out there in the forefront so known of being this guy that is in love with big cats and has them love him back” please don’t tell me this guy does anything weird to his animals

“People only care about saving what affects them”

“You can’t put a price on holding a baby tiger” but you did and apparently it’s $625

The fact that multiple tigers have had albinism is probably a sign of major inbreeding practices at these zoos

You know, even if I ate meat*, there is no way I would be able to handle any kind of early prep stage of it bc seeing these cow carcasses is A Lot

*If u r reading this I don’t care if u eat meat leave me alone

“Animals just wasn’t enough, okay? So then I started adding magic” well that took an unexpected turn

I don’t know if it’s for real fair to criticize every person who has brought a big cat out in a public venue/talk show because I know at least like Dave Sal/moni is always going “THESE ANIMALS MAKE TERRIBLE PETS”

As a sidenote from what I understand this Saff person keeps being deadnamed/misgendered throughout this documentary and I do not appreciate it

“I grew up a professional cowboy in a family of professional cowboys” every sentence on this show is a journey

WHO is letting their ONE-YEAR-OLD lay on top of a tiger cub I know you’re at a zoo but BRUH

“It’s going to be a small Waco” to say this ON THE NEWS

This 2 minute stretch of episode is all the PSA anyone ever needs to never own a gun

Well I think we can all agree that PETA is a fucking mess

God this is like battle of the people who are terrible at doing anything good for animals

“What do you carry that gun for?” “People” AHHHHHHHHHHH?!?!!!!?!?

“I sleep with an AK-47 under my mattress, loaded, ready to roll” WILL SOMEONE HELP THE U.S. OF A

I was warned about this show and yet I was still not prepared for the level of UNHINGED it would be

How in the FUCK does a place like this not have an on-site medic

“Why don’t you come back on another day” he said, after telling the public an employee had his arm taken off

“I am never gonna financially recover from this” SURE JOE THIS IS ABOUT YOU

To go back to work a WEEK after getting your arm amputated... BRUH

“Any law that you think’s unfair or unjustice, it is your obligation, it is your responsibility to stand up against that bullshit law” well Thomas Jefferson was a slaveowner so clearly the injustice thing was relative for him

Traditionally don’t drug addictions fuel people choosing extreme paths with their life rather than the other way around?

JKHGKJHGKJH this whole exchange:

Interviewer: What kind of doctor is he?

Maria: Mystical science.

Interviewer: Mystical science?

Maria, nodding: Yeah.

“How many wives does Doc Antle have?” I didn’t expect this but somehow it tracks

I’m gonna bet none of these people with subcontinental names have a single bit of South Asian heritage like okay “Moksha” and “Rajnee” did Bhagavan name you

On a more serious note: It’s really fucked up that these men keep meeting literal teenagers, making them their employees, and then also get into relationships with them. I cannot emphasize this strongly enough THIS IS NOT GOOD OR HEALTHY

It’s pretty weird that Doc Antle keeps emphasizing so frequently that one of his partners is Italian

“I’m gonna go be a yoga animal trainer” ah, white people bullshit

“Goodbye. Don’t fall in love with your boss.” Good advice, Dad

I was not expecting all this subcontinental imagery to get under my skin this badly but what’s your problem dude can’t u be normal for like a second

“You’re this garbage person, but if you listen to me, I’ll make you great” again this tracks but gross

Again, on a more serious note: if a partner ever talks to you this way please call a domestic abuse hotline

Not that India is at all in a good place right now but I personally ban Doc Antle from ever entering India. Banned. Forever. I will not be accepting constructive criticism at this time

“I didn’t really know any better” is a really good way of summarizing what all of these younger partners have been through

Wow Carole is really explaining this abuse issue succinctly

Antle’s indignation at being implied to be a cult leader despite the fact he is most definitely a cult leader

Joe’s story in his documentary is constantly “is this going to be a humanizing moment PSYCH it’s still terrible”

HOW IS THIS LEGAL PAY YOUR WORKERS A LIVING WAGE

Why is this husband-killing thing JUST A FOOTNOTE AT THE END OF THIS EPISODE OH MY GOD

We have deviated so far from the tiger thing oh my god

Why is the only man in this documentary who is faithful to his spouse the man that smuggled drugs inside of snakes

Every time I learn a new thing about a person in this documentary I have to reorient myself

This whole episode has been about this murder and I’m concerned that its title, “The Secret,” hasn’t even been revealed yet

GOD I take back what I said about I Saw Tiger, the concept of this song/music video for Here Kitty Kitty is so disturbing that this man deserves no credit whatsoever as a musician

CAROLE WHY ARE YOU GIGGLING ABOUT THE MEAT GRINDER IT’S NOT FUNNY

Well I don’t have much to say about this episode other than yikes

I guess if you’re really out to spite someone stealing their brand and posting exactly the opposite of everything they stand for is an effective if weird and petty way to do it

Do you think the whole throne footage moment was a “Frankenstein realizing what he has wrought” kind of thing for Kirkham

This is really like watching a sports game of two teams you can’t stand except the sport is murder and other miscellaneous crime

If we’re all being real with ourselves the documentary filmmakers themselves MUST have had some issues going on to be able to walk into this situation and not do anything about it

This series really seems to present a compelling case for why every major figure in this documentary has potentially committed at least one terrible crime

Ah there’s the judgment from the woman in Florida I guess it’s two crimes with one stone

God these poor animals they do not deserve anything happening to them

While obviously people are enticed by the prospect of someone they’re into having an animal JUST GET AN ALREADY DOMESTICATED ANIMAL LIKE DOMESTICATED CATS AND DOGS EXIST OH MY GOD DO NOT USE EXOTIC PETS AS DATE BAIT

It has been so long since we heard about Travis ngl I already forgot about him

Why is every single person in this show SO OFF THE WALLS I mean I know why but also WHY

This documentary is also a treatise in the flaws of the U.S. prison system and how it sets up people up to fail or re-offend upon release

Take a shot every time a middle-aged man in this show mentions that he casually bought himself a big cat as a teen

“Joe was the entertainment director.... by title” I don’t think this was meant to be a burn but what a burn

I am almost certain I WATCHED that Last Week Tonight episode during that election and if u told me that 4-5 years later I would be rewatching that clip in a documentary about this man’s journey to being convicted for murder then I cannot say I wouldn’t be surprised but I would probably believe it

Also I have to wonder what John Oliver thinks about being part of this

[“Beyonce?” voice] Shaun Majumder?

Sidenote: Until this exact moment I thought of Shaun Majumder as Ben Mulroney even though Brian Mulroney is white as hell I guess I have faceblindness but only for Canadian talkshow personalities

I have been aware of this before now but the fact you can buy a GUN at a Walmart what in the FUCK is U.S.A. doing

Man does this campaign manager really want to take ownership of anything Joe Exotic has ever done

Ngl I was wondering why someone who had at one point clearly had a lot of money seemed to have such poor dental care access but meth certainly does explain it

I mean people can be attracted to both men and women (hello) but since Joe was fuelling their drug addictions since they were teenagers attraction is at best a null factor and at worst an added layer of terrible to this whole mess

It’s hard to even respond to this in a meaningful way because this is so fucked up. Don’t own guns.

“That was a big fucking mistake,” he said, right after someone explained that he was driving large groups of people in an enclosed space in a busy city with wild animals that could maim or kill them

Padlock penls piercing really does not seem like a first date bombshell

“We went to dinner and he never went home” well if that doesn’t set you with a sense of foreboding

TWO MONTHS AFTER WHAT IN THE HELL OH MY GOD also I hope Dillon is okay

“It wasn’t about the animals anymore” you THINK

“It was sort of funny when they started but it’s gotten really dark” how meta

Of all the reasons Joe could’ve abandoned his zoo, I really didn’t think embezzlement would be what pushed him

“He won’t tell anyone where he’s at, not even me,” said Dial, with no acknowledgement of the fact that Joe is also theoretically still married and would maybe tell his husband???

Oh Dillon spotted??? Yikes get out dude

Take a shot every time a white person who really doesn’t understand where the word “karma” comes from starts talking about karma as if it is the Law of Revenge

The fact this man brings a film crew out with him while he’s on the run evading a federal investigation..... incomprehensible

“Joe just wanted to put it in somebody’s name and continue to be the tiger queen, I mean king,” really REALLY of all the reasons to object to Joe you’re going to choose homophobia wow

Is this about an attempt to have someone murdered or does something happen to Baskin it is very unclear

This documentary has an interesting format of switching focus from crime to crime to crime

“I’ve never been as proud of being married to anyone as I am being married to you” It’s weird to compliment your husband by comparing him to all your other husbands

How is the lesson for Jeff Lowe in this “let’s build another zoo” surely at that point it’s better to just cut your losses

[Garretson voice]: You should pay me for being a bro, dude

“I’m a libertarian, so technically, fuck the Feds,” I’ve never heard an intonation that better suits a conservative millennial

I mean I don’t think it was advisable but honestly why are people surprised Joe took the stand isn’t delusions of grandeur kind of his thing

Sometimes it’s just that they’ve added in other moments to break up the awful immoral crimes with just run of the mill douchebaggery like the nanny/gym thing huh

I guess the silver lining in this is that potentially these big cat zoos will shut down but like where do these animals who have been raised in captivity go??? I don’t trust anyone in this documentary to not exploit them in some way ugh

“Not a single animal benefited from this war,” correct, Saff

“I was wrapped up in having a zoo,” not really an excuse but ok

#tw: literally everything #ayesha says things #ayesha liveblogs tiger king #long post #u ever quarantine so hard u watch an entire docuseries in a night #no but seriously it would be hard to warn for everything but proceed with caution #liveblogging

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jongdality · 5 years

Text

me thinkin' about how i've grown up with exo and watched as they lived and learned and developed as professionals and humans, overcoming the struggles of a poor debut concept and scandal after scandal with their tenacity and love for each other

Then thinkin' about how Kyungsoo, a somewhat aloof, awkward and weird boy who decided to be bold and try out for SM after old people at karaoke competitions told him to and he made 8 brothers for life who love him dearly and support him and his antics and his acting career and call him cute no matter how much he says he isn't good at anything and that he's boring and Manly and how he has starred in a full-ass movie and is partially credited as breaking the "idol-actor" stereotype and writes love songs with chanyeol on the DL that chanyeol reveals on his lives and wrote the lyrics to a lovely, comforting song for us before leaving to join the military so he can become an even bigger star in multiple films once he gets out

Then thinkin' about how bbh, an outgoing boy who flicked lights on and off to make his friends giggle, met a friend for life, kjd, on the very same day they both were to audition to get into a group that was about to debut, how he worked hard to break down barriers in the group and became the moodmaker, and how people thought he was bad at dancing because he hadn't had time to train but actually every solo dance he's been given he's slayed to the point that he became the CENTER FOR CBX, how he worked hard to learn piano in a very short amount of time to play The Answer for his EXO-Ls, how even after an early scandal in which is privacy was invaded he still looks at us with such love and protection and is NOW an amazing solo artist who texts the exo group chat saying he misses them so much

Then thinkin' about Suho. Kim frickin' Joonmyeon. The underdog of the entire group. Born rich, charismatic and well-educated, could have been ANYTHING but CHOSE to train for SEVEN YEARS due to his love of music. You guys. When Baek and another member got into trouble for cussing while playing video games sometime in 2012-2013 and a sasaeng threatened to reveal the voice clips of them cussing purportedly to apink members, joonmyeon texted her personally, so cold, so professional, "are you blackmailing us? If you release the clip you won't be forgiven" big fuckin dad energy, worked so hard on his singing and dancing yet still asks not to be given too many lines or placed center too often, gives up his seats for his members ALWAYS, accepted their first awards show win alone stoic and professional as the boys broke down in the back room after the news of kris leaving broke, now has multiple solo songs and acts and is literally set to be higher-level management at SM due to all his hard work, definitely puts out that goofy mom energy but is actually extremely intelligent, protective and the go-to guy for all the members and this para has no point i just think kim joonmyun deserves everything

Remembering that chanyeol has a famous sister and is a multitalented instrumentalist that didn't actually need to become an idol, but he did because he wanted "brothers", how he skyrocketed an entire foot from debut til now, how he's all teeth and ears and big anime eyes and legs and he's confident and happy after years of struggling w his weight and self-image, makin music and writing lyrics and modeling for tommy hilfiger and riding scooters in paris and despite the fact that he can't dance he tries, despite the fact that he didn't audition to be a rapper he became one of korea's best, how he turns into a little kid every time he's around any small animal and just tries to cuddle and feed it as he coos in his Low Man Voice, his tough raps but then his soft exo station song SSFW, and now exo-sc with his bestie and ACTING!!!

Thinkin' about Xiumin. Xiumin who came in as a vocalist and ended up being one of the best dancers in the group (even tho he hits the highest notes!!!). Xiumin who is the oldest and wisest but is still willing to throw that ass back to havana to make cbx laugh. Xiumin who is korea's pick, who kids and ahjummas alike fall for. Xiumin who is beautiful and quiet and humble and supports his brothers from the sidelines, who is so loving and caring, who released an adorable solo that matches him so well and is now winning fckn awards in military training for being so goddamn amazing. Xiumin who attends TVXQ concerts and supports all of his fellow celebrities. Mark's dad. Amazing man. Says he has no friends outside of exo but literally everyone loves him. Dedicated his formative years to the group even when he wasn't spotlighted like he deserves to be and-

Lay. That's it. That's the paragraph. He came in not speaking Korean and is now one of the top-grossing musicians in all of China. Breaking barriers. Learning languages in a matter of months. Solo albums out the wazoo that he composed. Coming back to wish Kyungsoo goodbye even though he hasn't been on a stage with them in years. Didn't leave, although I'm sure he was mistreated just as much as the members who did. All of exo loves him so fucking much.

Kai. Kai who could have been a professional ballet dancer, could have been a full-time model, debuts as the SCREAMO BOY in mama. Gets made fun of for his skin complexion. Is shy and embarrassed for the first 2 or 3 years of exo interviews, and is still pretty shy and introverted. But boy became the fucking IDOL'S IDOL. FANCAMS GOING VIRAL LEFT AND RIGHT. SUSTAINING INJURIES, CRYING WHEN HE MESSES UP AN EXTREMELY DIFFICULT DANCE ROUTINE TO "I SEE YOU". Is such a perfectionist to the point of pushing himself into constant injury, and besides that has had his personal life broadcasted all over the news MULTIPLE times even though he's so shy and withdrawn irl. People cry to meet him, now. Front and center of every exo dance. A dancing god and the reason half of NCT auditioned. I cannot emphasize how proud I am of Kai, who is only a few months older than sehun yet has had to grow up so fast as the face of the group. Solo during the olympics with plantar fasciitis. Model who stuns at every Gucci show in new and experimental designs.

Sehun. Oh fuckin' Sehun. Ran away from recruiters because his mom told him not to talk to strangers, and now he's modelling for every major fashion campaign, is on the cover of vogue, has his dream dog and certifiably has the biggest dick of all exo members. Became a main dancer through hard work and practice even though nobody ever talks about how hard osh works bc he's sort of overshadowed by kai. Insecure about his singing voice but makes crowds go wild every time he even croons out one beautiful, dulcet line. Babied by junmyeon, kissed and coddled by all the exo members, still has Big Baby Energy but is debuting in a group with his fellow chaotic neutral yeol and looking all sexy with his swooped back hair and his 0 follows on insta. Sings in We Young and raps his little heart out. His solo during concerts still shake my very uterus and im pretty sure he's gay. That's how powerful ohs is, and he can only go up from here.

And finally my baby boy kim jongdae. Chanyeol once said Jongdae is so nice that he comes off as stupid and that is absolutely positively true. Boy is the manifestation of the john mulaney quote "you could pour soup on my lap and id apologize to you". Is a ray of fucking sunshine whose only goal as he was singing in that video from high school was to "become a singer". It's his passion. It's the reason he LIVES. He prays to jesus before every concert but worships music. One of THE best vocalists in the game with the cleanest and most controlled voice, sings in the shower, sings in the car, sings while walking to pet some deer, sings because he loves it and now he's a soloist with his own album out and another in the works, and not only that, he dances his feet on fire in CBX and exo routines and remains steady to hit those high notes. Duets abound because everyone loves him. Will tell a bitch to back off when talking about his private life bc he's probably a husband with 6 happy, healthy children at home. Started out as the nervous boy chasing a dream on that fateful day with bbh and became the nation's pick, sings CONSTANTLY, yet is still so humble he opens up a yt channel just to cover other artists' songs. MCs for Baekhyun's solo and shows up to all his performances to monitor. Heart of gold. Smiles when he's hurting. Deserves this solo career and deserves the happiest life this world can provide him.

Words aren't enough to express how grateful I am for these men, how proud I am and how much I just want them to know that we know how hard they've worked to get as far as they have. Compare them to any other group, even other SM groups, and it's clear that their passion, drive, skill and professionalism is unrivaled. They are all born artists and musicians down to their core, and with that, they're all kind, sweet people who are who they are because they debuted as 18, 19, 20, etc year old men 7 years ago and have grown up together, suffered together, celebrated together and loved together. They've switched up sounds, concepts, gone experimental, have created some of the most beautiful ballads and harmonies music has ever seen, and they strive for nothing but the best. ALWAYS. They have never disappointed me, and they never fail to inspire me every time they show the fruits of all their labor (as well as multiple creative people and teams that come together to create EXO) onstage as one.

Exo we are one, saranghaja.

#im just in my feelings #exo #rant #mobile isnt letting me put photos where they need to be so this is the post

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mrlnsfrt · 4 years

Text

Is This Love?

It is said that once in the old days in an Eastern city a poor old beggar, his body shrunken and sick and covered with sores was sent to one of the great hospitals, and after being there for some days, was taken to the operating room. In those days they did not have anesthesia, as they have now, and the patient could hear all the preparations for the ordeal.

So before the surgeon began his work on this poor old wreck of a human being, he turned to the young medical students who were in attendance and using scholarly Latin, said to them,

"Let's perform an experiment on this worthless body."

He thought his language wouldn't be understood, but this old beggar was once a great scholar himself. Although he had drifted away into liquor and sin, and had gone down the primrose path until he was just a wreck, he still understood Latin. So he lifted himself on one elbow there in the operating room and said, in perfect Latin,

"Yet for this worthless body, Jesus Christ has died.

And so, what might often seem to us like a worthless body, a worthless person, a worthless, shattered, character; has infinite value. Because for this worthless one, this worthless life, Jesus Christ has died. And that puts an infinite worth on every human being. A human being is infinitely valuable, and this includes you.

Is this love?

But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. - Romans 5:8 New Living Translation

God’s love for us is beyond our ability to comprehend. I have heard some Christians even criticize those who they perceive to overemphasize God’s love towards us. But I often wonder how can we fail to talk about what the Bible itself emphasizes? The Bible is the story of God desiring to save humans. God initiated the process, God paid the price, God offers us the rewards for free.

For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. - Romans 6:23 English Standard Version

So I don’t think it is possible for anyone to ever talk too much about the love of God nor do I believe anyone will ever exhaust this topic. What I do wish to explore in this post is the ramifications the God’s love has and ought to have in the lives of the believers.

Is This Love?

Since God loves me even though I am imperfect. If Jesus died for me while I was still a sinner. How should this impact how I view myself? How much value does my life have? Imperfect as I may be, Jesus thought I was to die for. This should have a profound impact on how I think about myself, how I view myself and on how I feel about myself. After all Jesus tells us to love our neighbors as we love ourselves. I wonder how someone who hates herself could manage to love her neighbor.

"The second is this, 'YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.' There is no other commandment greater than these." - Mark 12:31 New American Standard Bible

Here is another thing that came to mind as I was thinking about God’s great love for me. God cares much more about my heart than He does about my appearance.

But the LORD said to Samuel, “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The LORD doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” - 1 Samuel 16:7 New Living Translation

What I find fascinating is how easy it is for us to care much more about our appearance than our hearts/character. After all, everyone can see my appearance and make a snap judgment. Only people who really know me well are aware of the content or quality of my character. But this also causes me to wonder. Why do I care more about the snap judgment of those who know me least, than about what those who know me best think about me.

Allow me to elaborate. My spouse, my kids, my family members, my closest friends, those who are in close contact with me, and/or those who are often in contact with me, have to deal with my character. They have to deal with my heart. My appearance matters less to them. If my tie is not perfectly straight or if part of my hair is a bit out of place, they will not think differently of me, because they have a knowledge of me that goes deeper than my appearance.

When I invest in my character, I am investing in those people who are closest to me, the ones I love most and who love me the most. When I am honest, dependable, loving, forgiving, kind, compassionate, those closest to me benefit the most. Although strangers will also benefit from those qualities. Also, those who admire you for your character, for your heart, will feel much more strongly about you then if their opinion of you was made up mostly due to your appearance.

Is This Love?

I have a daughter, she is 6 years old. I want to empower her. I want her to feel safe and confident in my love for her. I also want her to know that her heart, her character, matter much more than her appearance. I want her to invest her time, thoughts, and energy into developing who she is, and not waste time and money on improving merely her appearance. I don’t mean to say that her appearance does not matter. Appearances do matter, but I like to differentiate between accentuating natural beauty and modifications that end up being the equivalent of lies.

Smile, a smile looks good on you. Care for your body, keep it clean and healthy! You know what’s really good for your skin? Staying well hydrated. It is also great for your hair and eyes and nails. You know what looks great on you? A good night of sleep. Exercise, eating lots of fruits and veggies, all these things contribute to bringing your greatest potential to actuality. You become your better self when you invest in your health. Now I know it takes more effort, it takes more time, it won’t be a quick fix that you can do yourself after a short youtube tutorial.

I can see the appeal of just wanting buying precious metals and hanging them from new holes you perforated on your body. I can see how it is much faster to paint your face than to make the effort to change your lifestyle. I can understand how immediately looking healthier can be more appealing than the long journey to a healthier you. So you can choose to buy the precious metals to hang from your body, you can paint your face, and you can look different. But you are still the same, and at some point you will have to remove those things, and does your identity hold when all those things are removed? Have you learned to accept and love yourself? Or do you feel the need to cover up, hide, mask, distract, in order to have the courage to face the world?

I want my daughter to know that her natural beauty is more than enough. That the color and texture of her hair is just fine. the shape of her eyes, the color of her eyes, the length of her eyelashes, the shape of her nose and chin, are all fine. She is of infinite value. Her value is not connected to her appearance but rather to her character. She is of great value because Jesus died for her. People love her because of who she is. She can be brave, and kind, and refuse to give up, and these qualities add to who she is. These qualities make up who she is, as opposed to cosmetics that cause her to hide and contribute to her becoming unsure and unhappy with her natural self. I want her to be confident in who she is in Jesus and not how well she compares to arbitrary and unrealistic standards of physical beauty.

There’s a recent article by Samantha Murphy Kelly, posted on CNN Business entitled “Plastic surgery inspired by filters and photo editing apps isn't going away.” On this article she discusses how an increasing number of people have an unrealistic obsession with correcting subjective flaws. This article also points out how people continue to make more unnecessary changes to their appearance which may cause them to lose perspective of what they really look like.

Some, like public relations executive Karla Barbosa, are proudly embracing the concept. She recently broadcast her treatment of a gold microinfusion facial -- a procedure that uses small needles to reduce the size of pores and with the intention of making the skin look airbrushed -- to her more than 31,000 followers.

"It's like a real-life filter for your face," she captioned the clip. "Seriously. GLASS SKIN." As Barbosa explained to CNN Business, "If you want to tweak a photo a bit more to feel a bit more confident ... or get a facial or botox filler to make you feel more confident ... that's up to the person and how they feel." - CNN Business

Self-acceptance

In order for me to properly love myself, I need to came to terms with who I am. Not trying to hide, not trying to make superficial changes, but seeing myself for who I am and accepting reality. The challenge is that not only is there a temptation regarding my appearance, there are also many things regarding my character, my heart, who I am at my core that I dislike. When I take time to examine myself it becomes clear to me that I disappoint myself much more often than I could possibly disappoint anyone else. My natural tendency is to refuse to forgive myself, refuse to accept myself, and demand that I improve myself. “I will grab my own bootstraps and lift myself out of this mess.” In this process, which is doomed to fail, I also alienate those around me, I push people away because they too are flawed, they too need to improve and so I push my personal unhappiness upon them, lest they experience joy in their current state of imperfection.

So I turn to self-help books, apps, gadgets, gismos, possessions, substances, surgical procedures and anything else that promises me a quick fix and that will help me feel better or stop caring, even if just briefly. But I do not feel comfortable turning to Jesus. Because when I cannot accept myself, I become almost angry at Him for accepting someone so pitiable as myself. How could anyone love me? And so I begin to doubt even the gospel.

Forgiven much = love much

When I realize who I really am, God’s love grows exponentially. God’s grace becomes even more amazing. When I realize that Jesus died for me, the worst sinner of them all. It changes everything!

This is a trustworthy saying, and everyone should accept it: “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners”—and I am the worst of them all. - 1 Timothy 1:15 New Living Translation

I realize how terrible I am, and that Jesus died for me and suddenly I feel deeper love and appreciation and amazement at God. I feel like singing praises to God. I desire to spend time with Him. I want to pray. I want to study the Bible. I want to share with others.

There is a story found in Luke 7:36-50 that illustrates this. I strongly recommend reading the whole story but main idea is found in verse 47.

Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven—for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little.” - Luke 7:47 ESV

The insight I gained from this story is that as we become aware of our sins, our imperfections, all the times we fall short of the glory of God, we also experience greater love for God for His love and willingness to forgive us. When I am hiding my sins and blaming others for my shortcomings I feel like a pretty good person. I feel like it should not be too difficult for God to save me. I compare myself with those around me and feel superior. I build an armor based on works and refuse to truly examine myself. I stop confessing sins because doing so makes me feel vulnerable. I prefer to live a superficial life that looks Christian from a distance, but I refuse to delve into the vulnerability and messiness that true dedication to Christ demands. Looking at myself without the “makeup,” without the “jewelry,” (literal or symbolic) is painfully humbling, but on the other side of it is a deeper more authentic walk with Christ and the true experience of salvation. Not based on anything I do, but wholly dependent on what Christ did and does for me.

Is this love?

Out of this authentic experience with Christ and His great love for me comes a deep desire to serve Him and demonstrate my love for Him.

If you love Me, you will keep My commandments. - John 14:15 Berean Literal Bible

Finally, I find myself serving God out of a deep and sincere desire to do so. Not out of fear, not only out of a sense or responsibility and duty, but out of a joyful, grateful, thankful heart. I find myself obeying because I love and not because I fear. I want to do my absolute best, I want to go further, I want o to do more, out of love. I fall in love with Christ and it changes absolutely everything in my life.

Now I face life from a place of deep love for Jesus, ready and willing to love my neighbor as myself. I am finally willing to be vulnerable for the sake of the gospel, because when I am weak, then I am strong.

Therefore I am content with weaknesses, with insults, with troubles, with persecutions and difficulties for the sake of Christ, for whenever I am weak, then I am strong. - 2 Corinthians 12:10 NET Bible

#love #practical #life

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lightsandlostbells · 6 years

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Skam Austin episode 1 reaction

I wasn’t planning on writing long-winded reactions to Skam Austin, I thought I might just have fun with the clips as they happened. Because there’s such a different context with this remake as opposed to the French/German/Italian ones, that it’s hard to take in! Julie Andem’s direct involvement, the Facebook factor, that it’s American rather than European. I’m processing this one very differently. I’m not even sure how to gather all my thoughts about it.

But then a few things got my attention so here’s episode 1 a week late. I don’t think I say anything that hasn’t already been said, lmao, unless you want to hear about my high school English unit on The Scarlet Letter.

Clip 1 - Frozen is #relatable

Let’s point out all the signs we see during Poonam’s opening monologue:

“Be a winner, be you”

“Work hard, finish strong”

“Always victorious”

“Shoot for the moon”

a board full of college acceptances

IDK guys, I think there might be a theme about the pressure to succeed here.

Poonam’s monologue and the overall themes about pressure and success may seem generic or #relatable depending on your POV. For me, I found it worked, mostly because it’s funny in how mundane and teenage-y it is and the bit about Elsa from Frozen is so weirdly specific, and I knew a million kids like Poonam in high school. But I do get how Julie could have done something more topical considering the world of shit that is going on in the US politically and culturally, including in our schools. (I don’t know exactly how much of the show was filmed before or after the Parkland shooting and I don’t know if/when/how it will be mentioned, but I certainly hope they address it. That’s the kind of issue that Skam is made to cover: things that are directly relevant to the youth of the culture.)

Poonam is talking super loud and were she not serving up our thesis statement, the teacher would tell her to shut up.

I tried to listen to what more of what the teacher actually says, and it’s hard to make out, but of course she concludes with “draw a connection to something happening in present day” … hmmmm….

I was really confused because the test Megan looks at in class appears to be a state-mandated standardized test, not a regular exam you’d take in class. You can clearly see on her paper that it says 68th percentile, which means she scored as well as or better than 68% of students tested. But Marlon seems to be grabbing a similar-looking paper and he says he got a 99, like … is he in the 99th percentile? And Shay’s in the 100th percentile somehow (which cannot be a thing because you can’t go higher than the 99th, lol)? Is there an actual score out of 100 on these tests? Are they talking about a different test?

I’m not from Texas so I don’t know the format of this specific test, but I took a similar standardized test for my state and this is not how I remember it. Also we didn’t go around sharing our scores on those tests the way we would a regular math test or even the SATs or something. And no one studied for those things.

Meg swaps the numbers around (68 to 86) and he says, “That’s not bad” in a somewhat patronizing way so you know she feels great about it.

The music for the Kittens’ slow-motion walk is very apropos lyrically.

I like Shay, she’s charming. There’s a lot of American “bro” talk and shit like that in the dialogue and it gets cringeworthy, but I think she and Tyler seem pretty natural and I buy them as friends.

Clip 2 - Survival kit

As people have pointed out, The Scarlet Letter is incredibly thematically relevant to Meg’s past. In fact it’s so on the nose that I’d almost say it’s overkill, however that book is so widely taught in American classrooms that yeah, I buy it, it works for me. At least they’re keeping it fairly subtle so far - we notice it because we know the S1 story, a new viewer wouldn’t necessarily realize the connection. And I have seen so many versions of the classroom scene where the inspirational teacher openly talks about the themes of the novel/impact of the historical event/educational topic that just so happens to coincide with whatever’s going on in the protagonist’s life, that yes, this is actually relatively subtle.

Pointless personal anecdote #1: In high school I had one of those stereotypically artsy English teachers and every year she had her students do a mock trial based on The Scarlet Letter, where the goal was to determine which of the main characters was the least guilty. It was a huuuuge project and worth a ton of our grade, and the year we did it, there was tons of drama and crying and name-calling outside of the classroom due to everyone taking this trial 200% too seriously. I drew the team representing Dimmesdale (the minister who fathers a child with Hester Prynne) and miraculously everyone else on the team was smart but chill; we were the only team that didn’t blow up into drama, and we won the trial. I had a great time doing the project, but as time went by I started to think about the point of the trial and whether it was a good assignment, and how our biases crept into the result. Because I remember when kids drew the Hester team, they groaned, because they knew they wouldn’t win. One of the male characters was going to win. Chillingworth might win even though he’s an evil piece of shit and some readers think he straight-up poisoned a dude, but he wasn’t Hester. Hester was definitely guilty because she had sex outside of marriage and had a baby. And if we want to tie this back to Skam, it gets me thinking about how Eva/Meg is the one who loses everything and Jonas/Marlon’s life seems to be more or less intact. The girls lose their friends and in Meg’s case, her hobby/passion, while the boys are OK. Then the same thing happens later with Eva where P-Chris is just a fuckboy but Eva is a slut. Because the girls are the guilty ones.

Megan’s homework mentions the “life-changing event happens to Hester when she is in the forest away from her community. What do you think this says about the role of community in the outcome of her life?” hMMMMMM. The next question is also about the story centering around a “strong female character.”

Shay talking to Meg while stretched out on her back sure is quite flirty.

Meg’s parents are arguing and contributing to making her feel like a loser, building up some of that pressure (theeeeeme). She has a survival kit which implies that this is a regular thing and she feels the need to escape a lot.

I do think Julie is getting in some nice shots of the city and making these teens look all picturesque.

Clip 3 - Sad sad eating alone time

I wish Poonam had a Frozen lunchbox.

I'm wondering what Meg’s and Poonam’s relationship is supposed to be. Are they old friends? Are their parents friends? Are they acquaintances who share a class? Does Poonam just want a sounding board to vent about her busy life? I knew people like that in high school.

Poonam is self-centered in a rather teenage way, not just in talking about herself and being insensitive, talking about how quitting extra-curriculars makes you a loser, assuming Megan doesn’t care, etc. but also how she ditches Megan to go sit with her choir friends instead of like … inviting Meg to sit with her and the choir kids.

There's the THEME!!! of community again as Poonam encourages Meg to be more social, because people who engage in community have happier, healthier, more successful lives. The clip starts with both Meg and Abby alone, but ends with Meg alone and Abby not, because Abby is part of a community and Meg is not.

Also Meg has to be super checked out not to notice the giant Talent Night posters everywhere, including right next to her. It’s too bad they probably won’t go into this but I feel like she’s depressed on a level that Eva wasn’t, which is likely due to losing not just her friends but also purpose of being on the dance team.

“Talent night is the one night of the year where the entire school comes together to celebrate the foundation of our social hierarchy - sports.” Lol, no it’s not. I guarantee you it’s not, no matter what your school is, but especially not this school where sports appear to be a big deal. Try Homecoming.

Marlon is the worst. The woooorst. It really feels as if he, Shay, and Tyler are a group that Meg is just not in, in a way that I didn’t feel with Eva. Because while Eva was often excluded and was the third wheel to Jonas and Isak, Isak was also in some situations the third wheel to her and Jonas. Megan feels like she’s completely on the outskirts of this group. She’s friendly with Shay but I wouldn’t say that they’re friends, while Eva and Isak had some history and were decently close on their own. Some of the other remakes emphasize this too - in particular Italian Eva and Isak (Martino) feel like great friends in their own right. Plus if Marlon does opt to hang with Megan over his friends, Shay and Tyler still have each other.

But for fuck’s sake, Marlon, why didn’t you ask your girlfriend to get some damn food with you? Unless you didn’t really go for food...

Clip 4 - Conservative

How many times has Meg had to listen to Marlon’s music? Yet when she asks him to go do something with her, he doesn’t want to do it. Dump him.

In terms of Marlon’s comments about sports culture … OK, on the one hand I would say there are bigger issues in sports culture, particularly in high school - for example, how sports gets more funding than any other high school program, just to name one issue. His thing about sports culture being about winners working hard, losers are lazy, is maybe not the most relevant, it’s kind of trite. However, I can see a so-called “woke” teen saying something like that, much like I can see a teenager rhapsodizing about Elsa from Frozen. And I get it, it fits in thematically.

Megan used to be on a sports team (and dance teams often do all kinds of competitions so I’d consider it a sport) and clearly misses it so maybe he should chill. And don’t ask your girlfriend to go with someone else when you know she doesn’t have any friends.

Dump him.

Clip 5 - Talent Night

Besides the dance memorabilia, in her room Meg has a poster for a costume party around Halloween, which is possibly when she hooked up with Jo.

Marlon is the worst!!! Worse than other Jonases!!! At least they canceled ahead of time, Marlon just bails last second to go do something fun he likes. Rude and inconsiderate! He doesn’t even invite her along to the concert (and gives an excuse in the next episode, but dude, if you’re going to CANCEL YOUR ESTABLISHED PLANS AT THE LAST SECOND you should at least ASK).

Plus she really needs an escape from her house at that moment due to her parents’ fighting. Great job, dude.

The B-roll is nice. Again, good shots of the city.

Discussion was happening on @softnorwegians’ Tumblr about the plausibility of Talent Night in terms of location, setup, importance, etc. and I agree with a lot of the criticisms. I absolutely do not buy an official school-sponsored event taking place at what looks like a bar with no chaperones or adults around. Talent Night would probably be held at the school, in the auditorium or gymnasium. Maybe a community center. Maaaybe at a local coffee shop or restaurant, something like that, but that’s pushing it IMO - there would be so many people there that you need a large venue. This doesn’t seem like a small school. My high school did talent shows and there were always tons of adults present, teachers, parents filming their kids.

Also, Talent Night is typically not to fund sports teams! Talent Night is something put on by student government maybe, or if any school group is going to fundraise from it, it would definitely be the arts programs. Or it would be to raise money for charity. Sports teams already have a bunch of fundraisers, also a lot of them are for the individual teams, like swim team will have one, football will have one, etc. I guess it’s not impossible, but it feels a bit contrived. But there are probably some schools that do Talent Night for the sports teams, IDK. (Also, if it’s for the sports teams ... it seems weird to me that the athletes like Jordan don’t seem involved, either on stage or working at the venue? All fundraising I did for the school clubs/activities I was in, I had to do some actual work for the event - sell tickets, serve food, clean up, etc. Lol, here it seems like the sports teams are just hanging out and reaping the profits while random kids earn some money for them.)

Some of the graffiti in the bathroom:

Sk8ers gonna Sk8 (I’m blanking on where this came from originally, I think it was on an IG post or text?)

Alt er love

Daniel + Grace

That last one, believe it or not, is what made me interested in reacting to this show. Because Grace is our Noora, there are hints of our William being called Daniel … and yet, what’s the context of that graffiti? It makes no sense when you think about it. New girl Grace surely doesn’t know Daniel. Is that supposed to be a hint to future Noorhelm, or is it a shoutout to something that won’t happen - like is Julie teasing us?

I mean, Grace and Daniel are very very common names, but the choice of graffiti was deliberate as we can tell from the other Skam references.

Lol @ me thinking Julie won’t do Noorhelm again but let me have this for now.

The Facebook/fandom reaction to Grace is an example of one of the worst parts of doing a close remake. If this were a completely new show and no one knew the plot, the reaction would have been, “Oh yay, Megan met someone nice :) Maybe they can be friends :) ”

But because she is supposed to be The Noora, a bunch of people had expectations for how she was supposed to act and (especially) look, and when she didn’t fit their expectations, complained. First of all, Grace was quite pretty to me so I didn’t even understand the backlash on a superficial level. Second, get the actual fuck out if you think any of these girls aren’t attractive enough to be a part of the squad. This show has never been about depicting the hottest, most physically perfect people. In fact that’s a reason people like Skam, that there are a variety of body types, their teeth, skin, and hair aren’t perfect.

Pointless personal anecdote #2: “Let’s give it up for Natalie on nunchucks” is how I want everyone to greet me when I walk into a room, I’m going to have to start practicing.

Jo is great! So good. “I want to see your dumbass routine.” “Ballet shit?!” That whole bit was awesome. What a true friend.

This was so awkward. Painfully awkward.

General Comments:

The IGs are nice work, I’m sure FB pulled some strings to get the pictures backdated. There are some good clues in them - Meg appearing in the old Kittens pics and the Mannequin challenge, Abby has pictures set in Megan’s bedroom where she has clearly cropped out Megan. Abby and Marlon have pictures of a beach from the same day.

Poonam’s super paranoid text about posting things on IG made me laugh a lot.

I didn’t talk about the acting. It’s ... not great in a lot of places, and sometimes it takes me out of the scene (especially in the Talent Night clip) but it’s not something I want to focus on a whole lot. The cast appears to be teenagers, many of whom have no acting experience, and I’m not totally comfortable being negative about them (NOT saying that no one can criticize their acting, just that for me personally I feel bad doing it). Besides, the fact of it being a direct remake is the more pressing problem for me. As for positives about the acting, I think Shay and Jo are great and have some natural comedic timing.

I am not rooting for Meg/Marlon at all. At all. No version of Eva/Jonas has induced this much annoyance in me. There’s a lack of chemistry, Marlon is more inconsiderate than the other Jonases, and they don’t seem to have much in common.

Unpopular (?) opinion but I have no problem with naming the Jonas character Marlon, or calling him marlonf9000 on IG. It’s an affectionate homage, sure. I guess my only problem with it is that Marlon the character sucks so far and Marlon the actor deserves better.

Man, I don’t even know what to feel about this show at this point. It feels so surreal. I don’t hate it? I’m not angry at it? I’m disappointed that we have to get yet another S1 more than anything. I actually want this show to succeed, believe it or not - even if I don’t care for it personally, I would rather have a lot of other people love it than not.

I also feel stupid for making any type of speculation on what could happen! Because we’re going to come up with these elaborate theories about how Julie could adapt the story and take it in a different direction, and it’s likely to be all for nothing and we’ll just watch an awkward redo of a scene we’ve already seen.

I do want to say good job for increasing the cast diversity. That was a main fear, that Skam Austin would be lily-white, and we’ve already got 5 prominent WOC in the cast (including Zoya) which is terrific.

I don’t take the millions of views on the first clip/first episode super seriously since FB was promoting it pretty hard and I heard something about a three-second rule? I’m more interested in seeing how the viewership on the episodes/clips manifests week by week.

It’s also clear that a lot of viewers were confused by the format and don’t get the concept of real-time clips vs. the compiled weekly episodes, which I can hardly blame them for since it’s not typical.

#skamus reactions #skam austin reactions

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ellie-mnop · 6 years

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Hey! Sorry if this is bothering you or anything but I was wondering how you are learning? And if it’s online do you mind linking me to some?🙏🏻

Hi! I’m using several different tools and methods and resources to learn! I’m not sure whether you mean for Portuguese in particular or if you are looking for stuff that can be applied to other languages you’re trying to learn, so I’ll give you everything I have!

Grammar/Guided Practice:

Duolingo: This is the first thing I started using. Most people have heard of it already. It teaches grammatical concepts along with vocabulary and stuff, in a sequence made up of various themes, and the “Clubs” feature provides more open ended questions to practice writing skills. It doesn’t provide much in the way of explanations of new concepts, but every sentence has a comments section where you can ask questions and look at explanations other users have written. It doesn’t have speaking practice for Portuguese, although I think I have heard that it does for other languages, or used to, or something. https://www.duolingo.com/

LingoDeer: This is one I just started using and I’m really enjoying it. It works in a way that’s similar to Duolingo, although it provides more actual explanations of things instead of hoping for you to figure it out yourself, which is nice. It also has speaking exercises, which you record and play back to compare your pronunciation to an official example, which I find really helpful. It was designed with Asian languages in mind, and the website hasn’t been updated to point out that they very recently added betas of some other languages, but don’t worry, Portuguese is available. The activities are more interesting than those on Duolingo, but the sentences are less so, and there are no comments sections. https://www.lingodeer.com/

VerbSquirt: I installed this app because I needed more practice with verb conjugations than Duolingo was giving me. You choose the category and tense you want to practice, and it gives you some verbs, and you conjugate them as fast as you can from a multiple-choice list. You get more points for going faster. I don’t usually like or do well with games that rely on going as fast as you can, but I’m okay with this one because nothing bad happens if you don’t get a high score. It also teaches you the meanings of the verbs you’re working with, so it’s an alright way to get a little extra vocabulary too. The paid version is the same but with more words available. I think it’s based on European Portuguese (it includes conjugations for “tu” and its icon resembles Portugual’s flag) but I haven’t been confused by it even though the rest of the resources I’m using are Brazilian. https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=net.jandaya.vrbsqrtenptfree&hl=en_US

Conjuga-me: This one is not an app for practicing anything, but I’m putting it in this category anyway because it’s still grammar. You put in a verb, and it shows you all of the conjugations in all of the tenses, and emphasizes, through text color, which forms are irregular or use special spelling rules. It helps, if you’re not sure about a conjugation you need and want to look it up. http://www.conjuga-me.net/

Explanations and Information:

Transparent Portuguese and Street Smart Brazil: These are two different websites, but I’m listing them together because they way I use them is very similar. They are blogs with interesting articles about various aspects of the language, such as grammar concepts, the usage of certain words, regional variations, or cultural concepts. They also have various resources to practice. For example, Transparent regularly posts articles to listen to and read, and sometimes posts songs with explanations of the lyrics, and Street Smart Brazil does articles with links to things, like movies in Portuguese on Netflix. Transparent has a Word of the Day every day, too, which is neat, and Street Smart has a YouTube channel. https://blogs.transparent.com/portuguese/ and https://streetsmartbrazil.com/blog/

I also sometimes use explanations of things on YouTube, but I mostly find those individually, I can’t think of any channels to recommend or anything.

Vocabulary and Dictionaries:

Reverso Context: This is a very helpful resource to look up words, because when it gives you a word, it also gives you a whole bunch of examples of that word used in various sentences. That way, you can see if the word has the connotation you want, what prepositions are used with it, and so on. http://context.reverso.net/translation/

Wiktionary: This one can be a little unwieldy to use, because all of the pages have so much information, but it’s very helpful. The lists of translations that are on the page of any given English word specify which definition they are translating, so that if a word has multiple meanings, you can find the one you want, and it has pronunciations in audio and IPA. (I can’t read IPA, but it’s helpful in finding out more about a particular sound I’m having trouble with.) https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Wiktionary:Main_Page

Wikipedia: Specifically, the menu on the top or side of any Wikipedia article that allows you to view the version of an article in any language it has been written in. The title will be translated too, and so you can find out what that concept is called in the language you select. This is helpful for finding translations of titles or multi-word terms that might not be translated word-for-word, like “data storage” or “The Land Before Time”. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Main_Page

TinyCards: This has all of the vocabulary lists from DuoLingo, if you’re looking for a way to practice the vocabulary you learn from there. It’s just a flashcard app, but it’s a pretty nice one, I like it. https://tinycards.duolingo.com/en

Talking To Native Speakers:

HelloTalk: Initially, when I had questions about what I was learning, I asked my friend Sofia, because she is a native speaker and offered to help and stuff. Unfortunately, I cannot send you a link to install her. However, the next thing I did to find more people to talk to was install a language exchange app, where the point of it is to talk to people who already speak the language you are trying to learn, and who are trying to learn a language you already speak. There are many such apps, and I mostly just installed HelloTalk because it was the first one I heard about, but I like it a lot. I have met several lovely people there, and it’s easy to find people to talk to – I actually get more messages than I can answer. https://www.hellotalk.com/

Media And Content To Practice With:

Radiooooo: Useful for finding songs to listen to. I use it by choosing a country that speaks Portuguese, and a decade with a style I enjoy. Then, when it gives me a song I really like, I screenshot the title and artist so that I can find it again to add to a playlist or use other ways. Doesn’t work on Firefox. http://radiooooo.com/

Letras.com: A lyrics website, useful in conjunction with Radiooooo or with any other method of finding songs. Looking at the lyrics while listening to the songs helps with focusing on the words, and with building reading and listening skills together. https://www.letras.com/

Turma da Mônica: Comics are a nice way to practice reading, because the pictures help with figuring out what’s going on and confirming your understanding of what they text says. These comics are pretty cool and cute, and there are a lot of them. The ones at the link are free online on the official website, and there are also many that have been published in print if you can get those somehow. http://turmadamonica.uol.com.br/quadrinhos/

Games: I went through and checked the menus of the games on my phone and the store pages of the ones in my Steam library, to find out which ones I could play in Portuguese, and I recommend doing that, to find choices that correspond to your taste in games. Some of the ones I found include Battle for Wesnoth (a partial translation, you have to edit your preferences file to get it), Bridge Constructor, Game Dev Tycoon, Knights of Pen and Paper (this one was developed in Brazil, actually), Stardew Valley, Terraria, and on the phone Galaga Wars, and My Tamagotchi Forever. I haven’t tested all of them yet.

YouTube: I don’t have an overarching method or anything of finding YouTube videos to practice with, I just put in search terms that sound interesting in Portuguese. I’ve watched news clips, interviews, sing-along videos of kids’ songs, videos about Pokemon, videos where kids try different foods, all sorts of things. I don’t understand most of what I watch yet, but I repeat the videos however many times I need to try to catch what I can.

I’m sure I’m forgetting some things, but this is most of what I use and do.

#langblr #portuguese #answered #blackvaldesjackson

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emma-what-son · 3 years

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(Echee post) Did Emma Watson try stealing credit for a class?

Posted November 14, 2015

Emma Watson crafts a careful image, backed up by the media (even getting news outlets like the New York Times and the Associated Press to lie for her) and a legion of Harry Potter fans who uncritically accept anything their goddess/idol says as the truth. Still, it must suck, a lot, to put in a lot of effort into a group project and then have some witch (pun noted) steal all the credit on a national platform, kissing her own ass, and knowing you cannot do a single thing because her mentally ill fans will send you death/rape threats. Shocking. Who would do such a terrible thing? Below is a picture of the class of the Group Independent Study Project (GISP) at Brown University, called "How and Why We Fall In Love: Science, Psychology, and Philosophy" Notice that Watson who regularly claims to love school and education and whatnot is nowhere to be found. Remember that attendance is mandatory for GISPs and is required to pass the class. Also notice that despite Scout Willis (Emma's suite-mate) being the daughter of two multi-millionaires, Bruce Willis and Demi Moore, she still attends class and does things for the class like singing Skinny Love (by Bon Iver) with Roman Gonzalez.

Apparently this is Emma Watson's favorite class but Emma Watson does what Emma Watson wants, and that means not attending her favorite class or something? Who knows the truth of what was going on with that girl. The obnoxious thing is that Emma stans keep claiming this girl is super busy with balancing college/work (yeah which is why she, despite proclaiming how college is the most important thing/priority to her, decided to drop it to film Noah) but every single person is busy with outside activities but yeah somehow still managed to attend class. Like Amanda was busy working as a Minority Peer Counselor at the Third World Center to make sure minority students felt welcome on Brown's campus (the kind of campus that lets rich spoiled girls like Emma and Lena Sclove get away with everything). Sally was a Meiklejohn peer advisor and still managed to get good grades to make Phi Beta Kappa. Lauren founded SmartSitting and was busy working as a babysitter/nanny and working as manager and boss to connect families with caretakers. Victor chaired the planning committee for A Day on College Hill and was getting ready to work in Dr. Connor's lab. And omg Roman was doing a ton of shit. Meanwhile Emma is always whining and moaning about how much she does (without any results by the way).....and still getting paid in the tens of millions. Also, negotiating deals for Lancôme to get more money and attention despite claiming how much she hates fame and has too much money to know what to do with it. Vogue Magazine July 2011, interview by Amanda Foreman: One of her favorite courses at Brown was on the psychology of love. Rookie Magazine May 2013, interview with Tavi Gevinson: Tavi: I know you’re going back to Brown this fall, after taking a couple of years off for work. What made you decide on that school? Emma: A few different things. I really like the fact that it has a very open curriculum, that there aren’t any requirements. Really, I’ve kind of been in charge of my own education since I started out on Potter when I was 9 or 10, and I liked that I could design my own major if I wanted to, and I could take independent studies if I wanted to on subjects that weren’t necessarily in the curriculum. I did an independent study on the psychology and philosophy of how and why we fall in love, which was awesome. [Laughs] Tavi: Whoa! Do you know why? Can you tell me? Emma: [Laughs] We’d need like six hours! Opportunities like that, and the idea of classes being pass/fail, make it sound as if you don’t have to work as hard, but it actually gives you the freedom to try out things that you wouldn’t be able to do if you had to get a certain GPA on your transcript. It lets you take classes that you wouldn’t otherwise. And it attracts a certain type of student: [someone] very independent who wants to take responsibility and control of what they’re learning. That really appealed to me as well. Okay what? Notice how Emma claims "I did an independent study" and also "And it attracts a certain type of student: someone very independent who wants to take responsibility and control of what they're learning". It's pretty disgusting since this was a GROUP independent study project (GISP) and yet we have Emma lying and claiming she did it on her own and she's kissing her own ass and claiming ISPs (Independent Study Project) take someone very driven and focused. Oh yeah, that's why college athletes who can barely read take these classes to stay on the football team. I know Emma stans and loons are so pathetic they'll defend her over stealing credit, but imagine for a second that you work your ass off at work on or a homework project and somebody lies and steals the credit and they get promoted over you. How fair is that? Spoiled, rich, white girl, the most privileged kind of person in America (yes over men, since white women have the longest life spans, most safe jobs, least repercussions for breaking the law, and many many more) wants to get an unfair advantage? Pathetic. This GISP was mainly

led by Roman Gonzalez and Lauren Kay, as you can see by reading the Brown Daily Herald article on it (dated September 30, 2010):

QUOTE Love, factually GISP analyzes the amorous by Amy Rasmussen At Brown, students tackle tough questions every day: They wrestle with organic chemistry, untangle streams of consciousness in Faulkner and talk — openly and unflinchingly — about love. Roman Gonzalez ’11, the independent studies co-coordinator for the Curricular Resource Center, and Lauren Kay ’11 are the leaders of the group independent study project, “The Study of Love,” which encompasses philosophy, neuroscience, religion, psychology, sociology and anthropology. On Monday and Wednesday nights, their group of 13 students gathers to think, to read about and to discuss love — at Brown, and everywhere else. Outlets for love Much like any other class at Brown, students in “The Study of Love” receive college credit, homework and a faculty advisor, Associate Professor of French Studies Virginia Krause. But the course topic and discussions are entirely student directed. The class syllabus, constructed by Gonzalez and accessible to the public on the course website loveatbrown.com, is loosely divided by Helen Fischer’s model of romantic love: lust, romantic love and attachment. Required readings, which were carefully selected by Gonzalez or recommended by Brown faculty, range from the works of Ovid and Shakespeare to primary scientific literature on the neurobiology of love. “I really want it to be a rigorous, scientific study of these things,” Gonzalez said. As he began to develop the class, Gonzalez said, he realized that while there are a number of outlets to discuss sexual health and behavior on campus, there are virtually none available for love or romance. “We want people to be talking more about it,” he added. “To be talking more about love, what it means and whether they’re okay with what it means.” Justine Palefsky ’13, a cognitive neuroscience concentrator in the class, had never even heard of GISPs until the beginning of the fall semester, she wrote in an e-mail to The Herald. When she learned of the class that was all about love, she jumped at the opportunity to take part. “It’s such a powerful force culturally that I feel like you’ve got to be curious about how and why it happens, and what it means to people today,” Palefsky wrote. Part of what makes the class work, Kay emphasized, is that every single person actually wants to be there. “Everyone has a different reason for taking this course,” Gonzalez added. “I want 13 different projects, 13 different paths.”

Finding love at Fish Co.? The group, which counts heavy weekly readings, student-led discussions and a 10-15 page research paper as part of their workload, still manages to handle things a bit differently than most Brown classes: they recently took a field trip. “We went to (the Fish Company) and asked people if they were in love,” Gonzalez said. “There would be people who would be hooking up in front of us, they would say no, and then keep hooking up.” Of the experience, Kay said that a lot of what happened at Fish Co. made her uncomfortable, but she found it to be an interesting place to observe the dynamics of Brown students. What we are “trying to get at here is what is relevant to love,” Kay said. “To a historical analysis of dating — to what’s actually going on after Fish Co., and before.” Ultimately, everyone in the class is required to take part in one of two final projects for the course. Gonzalez is taking charge of the creation of a 30-minute documentary and Kay’s group is in the process of developing a survey that she hopes to eventually publish. Gonzalez, who has a strong interest in filmmaking, said that he plans for the documentary to include both class discussion and interviews with students and faculty. Clips of videos, in which students on the Main Green are asked if they’ve ever been in love, and how they know, are currently available for viewing on the course website and Facebook page. The survey the other half of the class is developing has its roots in a similar project Kay did in her sophomore year. The original survey, which focused mainly on sexual behavior, has been expanded by the group into a 14-page series of questions about everything from marriage to sexual behavior and beliefs. “We want the survey to focus on love, not just sexual behavior,” Kay said. “I want to get it out there to more than just Brown students.” Kay said she hopes to distribute the survey to students in large lecture classes by the end of the semester and to publish the results within a year. The group is currently working with professors to seek approval from the Institutional Review Board for the survey. Love’s labour won Ultimately, Kay said she would like her experience to be about changing perceptions — in the class, at Brown and throughout the world. “I want people feeling happier about the cultures in which we live and the things that we do,” she said. “Dating and romance can be really wonderful things, but they’re not always.” While Gonzalez came into the study with experience — both as a participant and creator — of previous GISPs, it is a novel path for many of the students in the class. “We aren’t learning for the sake of regurgitating material on some final exam,” Palefsky wrote. “We are doing this for the sake of our own exploration of something that profoundly interests us.” Kay, who had never completed a GISP before her senior year, spoke passionately of the benefits of a student-driven class, remarking that everyone should take part in at least one during their time at Brown. “It wasn’t one of my issues to fight for, and now it is,” she said. Though both Gonzalez and Kay are set to graduate in the spring, they hope that the project will extend into next semester and beyond. Gonzalez is already planning his next GISP: “The Science, Psychology, and Philosophy of How and Why We Fall out of Love, and Why Love Fails.” “The project should continue,” Gonzalez said. “I think it needs to continue.”

I wish Scout Willis (Emma's suitemate at Brown) would knock some sense into Emma for lying all the time.....

Below is the syllabus for the class: How and Why We Fall In Love: Science, Psychology, and Philosophy Fall 2010 Note: For the personal Love blogs, you may do any of the following. (1) Comment on our reading (2) Write a post for the LoveAtBrown blog (3) Take an article on romantic love and analyze it with rigor. ********* Adviser: Virginia Krause GISP Student Coordinator: Roman Gonzalez The Goal The goal of this class is to examine, in a very interdisciplinary way, how and why people fall in love, to examine what we mean when we say we’re in love, and what informs these ideas. The Structure The class is divided by themes in the study of love. We try to loosely follow the progression of falling in love, beginning with loneliness and longing, transitioning to attraction and the mating game, then to the experience of loving someone, followed by sex (both in and out of love), attachment, thoughts on marriage, and we end with a broader view of love in today’s world. This loosely follows the Helen Fisher model of romantic love (lust, romantic love, attachment), which we will call into question. We end with cultural/anthropological/historical/contemporary perspectives. The class is primarily discussion, held twice a week, with mini projects throughout. One person will take notes per discussion and post them. Each week we try to blend as many disciplines as we can into our study. We will read selected relevant scholarly articles from the sciences, excerpts from philosophical texts to give us historical and conceptual insights, and pay some attention to pop culture to try and figure out where love is today and where it’s going. Guest Lecturers To further emphasize the earnestness of our study, it would be helpful to note we have been in contact with 13 departments to form this GISP. Guest lecturers are listed below in the syllabus. We have contacted some of our primary sources directly (Robert Sternberg, Alain De Botton, Irving Singer, Rachel Herz), and Professor Irving Singer has asked to be kept in the loop about the progress of our study. Sternberg and De Botton have uncertain futures ahead of them, but asked to be contacted next fall. Interested Guest Lecturers Virginia Krause, French; Bernard Reginster, Philosophy; Mark Cladis, Religious Studies; Carlos Aizenman, Neuroscience; Joachim Kreuger, Psychology; Elizabeth Burbank-Gilb, AmCiv; Our Sources Our sources have been collected from independent research from all members of the GISP, with the team leader organizing the process. Many of our readings also came from recommendations of faculty in the Neuroscience, Religious Studies, Biology, Psychiatry, Psychology, AmCiv, French, and Cognitive Science departments, which have all been enthusiastic and helpful in our study. Some of the weaker reading days were designed to accommodate scheduling guest lecturers, so some readings may be sacrificed come the fall. Course Requirements •1 10-15 page academic paper addressing one of the questions/issues in the study of love. •A collective statistical analysis of all studies done through the semester. •Participation: 1 blog post per week on the theme in discussion •Participation: continual contribution of new research/studies via blog or in class •Participation: 2 studies conducted on Love at Brown (groups of 3). •Participation: attendance •Participation: involvement in the production of the documentary: “A Study In Love” The homepage for the GISP is loveatbrown wordpress which Roman Gonzalez has been updating regularly and publicizing. This will be a place where assignments/ideas are posted. Each student is required to create their own WordPress blog and give a short response to the readings of the previous week. The Guerilla Studies Every few weeks a group of GISP members will conduct and video-record (via Roman’s equipment) surveys to learn more about how Brown University students, faculty, and staff think about and practice romantic love. The questions and methodology for the studies will more or less be

determined according to the interests of the class at the given time. We have suggested some topics below. The Paper The final paper, which will be the only paper (10-15 pages), will be an in-depth analysis of a specific issue, theme, or problem in our study of love. It should have something to do with Why or How We Fall In Love. Given the varying backgrounds of people in the course, the papers can be written in whatever academic form is most comfortable for them. In this way all members of the class can pay particular attention to one area of interest throughout the semester and offer analysis through the scope of their individual project. The Documentary The documentary will examine the goals of the GISP (see above “Goals” header) within the framework of the Brown University campus. The documentary will be composed of several elements, including: (1) recorded class discussions, (2) Main Green interviews with students [which can be done simultaneously with the Guerilla Studies], (3) Dedicated interviews with Brown University students and faculty [ie: Rachel Herz, Bernard Reginster, Mark Cladis]. (4) Dedicated interviews with relevant faculty at nearby universities [ie: Singer, Fisher], (5) interviews with Providence community members. The footage will be edited over the winter of 2010-2011 and the final product will not be graded, but submitted to the Ivy Film Festival. Continuing Study- Love GISP Part II All members of the GISP plan to write and propose a follow-up GISP for the Spring semester entitled, “How and Why We Fall Out of Love: or Why Love Fails”, looking at the science, psychology, and philosophy of waning love, detachment, infidelity, divorce, suicide, “heartache”, and related topics. There will be an additional section on unrequited love. Syllabus Summer Reading On Love: A Novel by Alain De Botton. This book addresses many philosophical issues with romantic love, following the author through his attraction and relationship with a girl named Chloe, whom he meets on a plane. Marxism, love across cultures, the ineffability and cliché of the word “love” and more all pop up in this novel. Week 1- Intro •Sept 2- How do different disciplines approach Erotic love? What are popular conceptions of love? What do we know now? This will be compared at the end of the class to how our perceptions of love have changed. Meet with Adviser. Week 2- Attraction and “Courtship”, The Mating Game part 1 •Sept 7- ◦“The Philosophy of Erotic Love”: ◾Danto’s Foreword, Editors Introduction, ◾The Symposium (44 pages); ◾Jerome Neu, Plato’s Homoerotic Symposium ◦Short excerpt from “On Desire” by William Irvine. ◦Students will discuss the questions and philosophical issues brought up in The Symposium. •Sept 9- ◦“The Philosophy of Erotic Love”: ◾Ovid, The Art of Love ◾Heloise and Abelard, Letters ◾Capellanus, On Love ◾Shakespeare; Thirteen Sonnets ◦“The Game” by Neil Strauss (excerpts); ◦“Anatomy of Love: A Natural History of Mating, Marriage, and Why We Stray” by Helen Fisher ◾Chapter 1: Courting ◾Chapter 2: Why him? Why her? Week 3- Attraction and “Courtship”, The Mating Game part 2 •Sept 14 – ◦“The Neurobiology of Attraction” D. Marazziti, ◦“Strategies of Human Mating” David Buss; ◦“Either/Or” Diapsalmata chapter by Soren Kierkegaard; ◦Rachel Herz podcast on scent (http://personallifemedia.com/podcasts/222-...hel-herz-scents) •Sept 16 – ◦“Some evidence for heightened sexual attraction under conditions of high anxiety” Dutton and Aron, ◦“Defining the Brain Systems of Lust, Romantic Attraction, and Attachment” Helen Fisher ◦“The Scent of Love” (excerpts) by Rachel Herz, Brown University; ◾Chapter 3- As You Like It ◾Chapter 5- Scents and Sensuality ◾Chapter 6- The Odor of the Other ◦Philosophy of Erotic Love ◾Simone De Beauvoir, The Second Sex Suggested Movie: “Before Sunrise” Week 4- The History of the Date, and The Hook Up Culture •Sept 21 – ◦“Hooking Up: Sex, Dating, and Relationships on Campus” ◾Chapter 2: From dating to hooking up ◾Chapter 3: The Hook Up ◾Chapter 4: The

Hookup Scene ◾Chapter 8: Dating and Hooking Up, A Comparison ◦“No strings attached: the nature of casual sex in college students” DP Welsh; ◦Sexatbrown.com, a study conducted by Lauren Kay ‘11 on sexual activity at Brown University (2009). •Sept 23 – ◦“Insights into a dating partner’s expectations of how behavior should ensue during the courtship process” Collings, Kennedy, Francis; ◦“Nonverbal courtship patterns in women: context and consequences” Monica Moore. ◦Philosophy of Erotic Love ◾Louis Mackey, Eros Into Logos: The Rhetoric of Courtly Love ◾Spinoza, Ethics ◦Plan guerilla study. ◦Meet with Professor. ***Project: three GISP members conduct a study on dating patterns at Brown. Week 5- Falling part 1- What happens? •Sept 28 – ◦“Falling in love: Prospective studies of self-concept change” Aron, Aron, and Paris, ◦“Hormonal changes when falling in love” D Marazziti; ◦“Reward, motivation, and emotion systems associated with early-stage intense romantic love” Aron et al.; ◦“The Pursuit of Love” by Irving Singer (selected chapters). ◾Chapter 1: Two Myths about love ◾Chapter 2: Persons, Things, Ideals ◾Chapter 3: Sexual Love ◾Chapter 4: Love and Society •Sept 30 – ◦ “The New Psychology of Love” by Robert Sternberg. ◾Chapter 2: A Dynamical Evolutionary view of love ◾Chapter 3: A Behavioral Systems Approach To Romantic Love Relationships ◾Chapter 4: The Evolution of Love Week 6- Falling Part 2- What and Why?: Sinking into Attachment •Oct 5 – ◦ “The Brain in Love and Lust” McMan ◦“Why we love: the Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love” Helen Fisher ◾Chapter 2: Love Among The Animals ◾Chapter 3: Chemistry of Love ◾Chapter 6: Why We Love •Oct 7 – ◦“The New Psychology of Love” by Robert Sternberg continued. ◾Chapter 6: A Biobehavioral Model of Attachment and Bonding ◦“Love and attachment: the psychobiology of social bonding” DJ Stein. ◦Philosophy of Erotic Love ◾Robert Nozick, Love’s Bonds ◾Lawrence Thomas, Reasons for Loving Week 7- The Experience of Love- Attachment and Love as Madness •Oct 12 – ◦“Acute effects of cocaine on human brain activity and emotion” Brieter ◦“Pathological love: impulsivity, personality, and romantic relationship” Sophia et al. ◦“Sexual addiction, sexual compulsivity, sexual impulsivity or what? Toward a theoretical model” Bancroft & Vukadinovic, ◦“Personality characteristics of sexual addicts and pathological gamblers” M Raviv. ◦Philosophy of Erotic Love ◾DH Lawrence, The Mess of Love ◾Stendhal, On Love •Oct 14 – ◦“The neurobiology of love” S Zeki ◦“Oxytocin: the neuropeptide of love reveals some of its secrets” ID Neumann ◦Readings on Voles as compiled at loveatbrown. Catch up day for reading. Potential lecture from Carlos Aizenman. ◦“Romantic love conceptualized as an attachment process” by Cindy Hazan et. al ◦ “The Nature of Love: Love In Modern World” by Irving Singer ◾Chapter 10: Toward a Modern Theory of Love ◦Meet with professor. ***Project: Conduct a study interpreting how people conceive of themselves as being in love. Week 8- Love As A Story •Oct 19 – ◦“Love is story” by Robert Sternberg ◾Parts 1 and 3 ◾The beginning pages of each section of part 2. Pick a category of love story and present on it to the class. ◦“A Triangular Theory Of Love” article by Robert Sternberg. ◦“Mythology of Love” in Myths to Live By by Joseph Campbell. Chapter 8. ◦Bring in a love story. What do we think of the idea of love as a story we build? Are Sternberg’s ideas convincing? Also, discuss the role of Disney. •Oct 21 – ◦MOVIE and analysis: “Eros”. Three stories of love in Tokyo. Analyze through the Sternberg Love As A Story framework. ◦Philosophy of Erotic Love ◾Hegel, A Fragment on Love ◾Schopenhauer, World as Will and Idea Week 9- Shaping Our Love: Romantic Love, Pop Culture, and the Love song •Oct 26 – • ◦ Changing Courtship Patterns In The Popular Song: www.jstor.org/stable/2775978 ◦ Bring in love songs from a variety of different sources. Listen and compare. How have love songs changed and why is that? What kind of emotional effect does music have on falling? How may

it aid falling? •Oct 28 – • ◦ Guest Lecture: Elizabeth Burk-Gilb from “Selling Sex, Selling Love” on how media forms our ideas about love. ◦Love and Desire in the Cinema: www.jstor.org/stable/1225913 ◦Assignment: bring in a magazine or article on love from pop culture. Collectively analyze popular views of love. How do they conflict? What do they say about the experience of love? Week 10- Love Across Borders •Nov 2 – •Is Romantic Love A Myth Of Western Cultures? (food for thought) www.colorfultimes.com/2010/04/lifes...stern-cultures/ •“A Cross Cultural Perspective On Romantic Love” by William Jankowiak. ◦(www.jstor.org/stable/3773618) •“Historical and Cross Cultural Perspective on Passionate Love and Sexual Desire” Elaine Hatfield (1993) •Philosophy of Erotic Love • ◦ ◾Denis De Rougemont, Love In The Western World •Nov 4- •Movie, Hiroshima Mon Amour. Philosophical discussions of love. •A Collection of sited articles on romantic love in China compared to the US is located here: • “A Cross Cultural Perspective On Romantic Love” by William Jankowiak. ◦(www.jstor.org/stable/3773618) Week 11- Sex •Nov 9- ◦ “Sexual attraction enhances glutamate transmission in mammalian ACC” LJ Wu; ◦“Brain Activation and Sexual Arousal in Healthy, Heterosexual Males” Arnow; ◦“Sex: A Philosophical Primer” by Irving Singer (excerpt) ◾Chapters 1-3 •Philosophy of Erotic Love ◦Shulamith Firestone, The Dialectic of Sex •Nov 11- ◦“Sex differences in sexual fantasy: an evolutionary psychological approach” Ellis & Symons, ◦“Lust? Love? Status? Young Adults’ Motives for Engaging in Casual Sex” Regan & Dreyer; ◦Lucid Dreaming and Sex: “Lucidity Research, Past and Future” by Stephen Laberge. (www.lucidity.com/NL53.ResearchPastFuture.html); ◦“Sex: A Philosophical Primer” by Irving Singer (excerpt) cont. ◾Chapters 4-5, Conclusion “Toward a Theory of Sex” •Meet with professor. Week 12- Love In The Postmodern World •Nov 16 – • Irving Singer: “Love In The Modern World” (excerpts) by Irving Singer. ◦Part 1 and Chapter 8—on The Existentialists as Anti-Romantics •“The Art of Loving” by Eric Fromm, •Philosophy of Erotic Love ◦Robert Solomon, The Virtue of Erotic Love •Nov 18 – ◦“How Will We Love” documentary on love on YouTube. ◦“A Vindication of Love” by Christina Nehring ◾Chapter 2: Love As Inequality ◾Chapter 5: Love as Heroism ◦“Liquid Love: On The Frailty of Human Bonds” by Zygmut Bauman ◾Chapter 1: Falling In and Out of Love Week 13- Love In The Postmodern World cont. •Nov 23 – ◦In-Class Movie – “Paris, I love you” ◦Read Irving Singer’s “Philosophy of Love: A Partial Summing Up” •Nov 25 – THANKSGIVING BREAK. Week 14- Marriage and Monogamy •Nov 30: ◦“Anatomy of Love: A Natural History of Mating, Marriage, and Why We Stray” by Helen Fisher ◾Chapter 3: Is Monogamy natural? ◾Chapter 7: A Theory On The Origin Of Monogamy And Desertion •The Evolution of Monogamy: Hypotheses and Evidence by JF Wittenberger •The Evolution of Monogamy in large primates by CP Van Schaik •Dec 2- ◦Philosophy of Erotic Love ◾Milton, On Marriage and Divorce ◾Carl Jung: Marriage as a Psychological Relationship ◾Emma Goldman, On The Tragedy of Women’s Emancipation and Marriage and Love •“The Existential Function of Close Relationships: Introducing Death Into The Science of Love” by Mario Mikulincer Week 15- (Reading Period) •Dec 7: workshop final papers. •Dec 9: Last class, portfolios due. Suggested Films: •Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind; •500 Days of Summer (2009) All projects due by DECEMBER 9, 2010, with the exception of the documentary on love. BIBLIOGRAPHY AND OTHER STUFF Main Texts: 522- The Philosophy of Erotic Love edited by Higgins and Solomon (http://books.google.com/books?id=U68lAQAAI...ve+solomon&cd;=1) 488- The Nature of Love Vol 3: Love In The Modern World (http://books.google.com/books?id=3r6PsaniV...page&q;=&f;=false) 125- Philosophy of Love: A Partial Summing Up by Irving Singer (http://books.google.com/books?id=4o3aGVUb8...page&q;=&f;=false) 320- Helen Fisher: Why We Love? The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love

(http://books.google.com/books?id=SPxmHKLwj...page&q;=&f;=false) 430- Anatomy of Love: A Natural History of Mating, Marriage, and Why We Stray by Helen Fisher (http://books.google.com/books?id=f5aTEuku_...page&q;=&f;=false) 130- Sex: A Philosophical Primer (http://books.google.com/books?id=TbAlWhSty...page&q;=&f;=false) 338- The New Psychology of love by Robert Sternberg (2008) (http://books.google.com/books?id=X98bK5iFu...page&q;=&f;=false) Journal Articles (bibliography included at the end) Scientific News Articles/Cultural Articles on Love Peripheral Texts (reading selections from): 225- The Hook Up Culture (http://books.google.com/books?id=zof5SizlE...culture&f;=false) 322- William Irvine, On Desire (http://books.google.com/books?id=mIHTz3hNd...page&q;=&f;=false) 312- Romantic Love and Sexual Behavior (http://books.google.com/books?id=ThYONqpPF...page&q;=&f;=false) 256- Love is a story (1999) (http://books.google.com/books?id=E89Iq94UY...page&q;=&f;=false) 633- Kierkegaard’s Either/Or: Diapsalmata and Either/Or (http://books.google.com/books?id=GJHlYmo7k...page&q;=&f;=false) Love and Limerence: The Experience of Being In Love by Dorothy Tennov The Scent of Love by Rachel Herz, Brown University Sexuality and the Psychology of love by Sigmund Freud Possible Films Disney’s “Cinderella” In the Mood for Love Woody Allen- Annie Hall Eternal Sunshine Paper Heart 500 Days of Summer Eros Paris I Love You Before Sunrise

How Will We Love? ( Possible Guest Lecturers Bernard Reginster, philosophy Mark Cladis, religious studies Charles Larmore, philosophy Robert Sternberg, psychology, Tufts University Irving Singer, Philosophy, MIT Rachel Herz, Psychology Members of Psychiatry department Podcasts Rachel Herz, Brown University, Scents and Sensibilities: (http://personallifemedia.com/podcasts/222-...erz-scents/play) Suggested Texts: Alain De Botton- On Love

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5hfanfiction · 6 years

Text

The Last Person You Love - Chapter 1

Summary:

It started at a coffee shop, as all cliché love stories do.

Despite it being mid-September, remnants of summer’s heat still lingered for a few hours a day before the crisp air from the fog took over. It was typical San Francisco - one moment the sun would be shining and all of a sudden a blank white sheet was covering the sky. Camila worked downtown near the Bay and, from her view from the hospital windows, she would often admire how rays of sunlight reflected off the water and skyscrapers to highlight the bridge connecting the city and Treasure Island. As she would bike back to her apartment through nearly sky-high hills, Camila’s lungs heaved for oxygen and would be relieved when the fog rolled in to cool down the sweat falling down her face.

She lived in the western part of the city - opposite the Financial district where all the booming tech companies were taking over and where tourists scoured for the best clam chowder near Union Square. She lived in the residential area by the ocean and just a ten minute bike ride to the beach - although, it was nothing in comparison to the beaches back in her hometown, Miami. Ocean Beach’s sand was too coarse and - as ridiculous as this may sound - the Pacific Ocean just felt different from the Atlantic. It was not as warm and the water against her skin did not feel as smooth. Nonetheless, she still loved it. It was one of her favorite places in the city. She and her best friend, Dinah, often found themselves there, playing reggae and entertaining themselves with a few joints because it was San Francisco and smoking weed in public was as common as wearing headphones on public transportation.

After graduating from New York University three months ago, Camila returned to San Francisco to be with her mother, Sinuhe, and younger sister, Sofia. The three of them moved to the city after Camila’s father died from lung cancer the summer before her freshman year of high school. He was an architect for houses along the coast and, after he died, their home simply felt like a house. So they packed their things and moved to the first job offering Sinu got, which was not too hard considering she was one of the nation’s most renowned cardiothoracic surgeons.

The whole situation was overwhelming for Camila - one moment she was saw her dad take his final breath in a hospital bed and the next moment she was in the middle seat of a plane, admiring Sofi admire the window view from their high altitude. However, San Francisco did her well. She cannot explain it, but it helped her grow in more ways than she believed she would have had she stayed in Miami.

They went from a three-story mansion with a backyard the size of a park to a two-bedroom townhome that was half the size of their previous home, yet double the cost. Camila took the bus every day to her high school, which she had to apply to despite being a public school rather than being assigned by proximity to her home. Her school emphasized service learning and critical diversity, and the foreign language department offered various languages rather than just Spanish. Their field trips were to community centers, museums and gardens, and tech headquarters in Silicon Valley. Camila loved Miami for its rich Cuban culture and laid-back aura, but San Francisco always offered something new. There were endless opportunities and so much autonomy to navigate self-discovery, which is what Camila needed after losing her father.

San Francisco made her realize she was a city girl and, ultimately, made the transition to study in New York City not as overwhelming than if she had moved straight from Miami. At NYU, Camila studied Global Public Health and Science with a track in Biology - her goal being to follow in her mother’s footsteps and be a doctor, too. Maybe not surgery because Camila wanted to form relationships with patients and be part of their lives - not just seeing them once or twice, and saying goodbye after that. Her dream was to foster her passion for underserved healthcare and social justice through comprehensive and compassionate care to long-term patients.

Since Camila finished her undergraduate studies in three years, Sinu let her daughter take a gap year to apply for medical school and gain clinical experience during what would have been Camila’s fourth and final year of college. Through her mother’s connections, Camila was able to get an internship at the hospital Sinu practiced at. Camila was a medical scribe, which was a fancy term for “personal assistant to her mother, who she could not call her mother in front of patients, so basically she was Dr. Cabello’s bitch, which really was not any different than from when she was living home.” Her main responsibility was charting her mother’s interactions with patients, documenting all important notes from their discussions. The job is perfect for her considering she spent most of her high school years typing away her feelings on the Internet. Sinu used to always take away her laptop when she was a teenager because she spent “too much time staring at a screen” and, now, Camila loves to rub in her mother’s face that her word-per-minute count can keep up with how fast Sinu talks thanks to all her tweets and Tumblr posts.

With her mom being her supervisor, though, Camila’s hours were lenient - mostly because her mother dismiss her early to pick Sofi up from her middle school and take her to all her extracurriculars. In between piano lessons and soccer practice, Camila often found herself waiting for her younger sister at her favorite coffee shop near Golden Gate Park. The coffee shop was just another hole in the wall, but she loved its minimalist interior design, fairy-light-adorned patio, and lavender white chocolate mocha. She has been going to this place since she had to study for the SAT. However, with her studying in New York, she never considered herself a regular until she moved back home after graduation. She spent all summer working on her medical school application and published article about her undergraduate research on educational neuroscience, but, now, with both submitted, Camila was able to actually enjoy the ambience of the charming coffee shop.

Taking a break from watching YouTube videos on how to properly water succulents, Camila looked up from her screen to sip her mocha and take in all that was around her. There was a table of three adults in business suits, talking animatedly about the stacks of papers next to their mugs. A woman was breastfeeding her baby as her toddler was playing with the banana bread in front of her. Camila’s eyes scanned the room when they stopped to soak in what had to be the most beautiful being Camila had ever laid her eyes on.

The woman was dressed casually - faint jeans and a white tank top partially covered by a black leather jacket that matched the raven hair twirled halfway down her back. The look was so simple, but Camila could not help but squint her eyes to try and focus on the woman standing in line a few feet away from her table. The mystery woman was texting fervently and her left foot tapped with what Camila assumed to be annoyance. Every few seconds, the woman would let out a long sigh or run her fingers through her hair - both of which were only noticeable to Camila, who tried to hide her gawking behind her laptop and mug.

She could hardly hear what the woman had ordered when she stepped in front of the cashier, but Camila could make out raspy mumbles that intrigued her even more. She looked around her table for an excuse to get up and quickly stuffed the rest of her croissant in her mouth so she could bring her empty plate to the bar. This was her idea of flirting: Sneaking glances at a distracted woman with her mouth too full to even talk. Camila gave a tight-lipped smile to the barista as she finished chewing and swallowed in time to turn around to face the stunning woman waiting for her drink. The woman looked up from her phone to meet Camila’s eyes and it was as if time stopped for a moment.

Camila blushed for having been caught staring, but managed to give a small smile before scurrying back to her table without looking back. The woman stood perplexed at the elegant features of the other woman, wishing she was able to admire more before she basically ran back to her table. Her breath caught at her throat and she was not brought back to reality until her order was called out. She grabbed her dirty chai latte and glanced back at the tables to try and see the woman’s face once more before she had to go to work. Her eyes landed on the woman, but was only able to see the white bow clipped at the top of her light brown hair as she was looking down to write some notes.

The raven-haired woman smiled at how simple yet cute the other woman looked and left the coffee shop knowing it was going to be a good day.

Still catching her breathing after her bike ride from work, Camila entered her apartment to find Dinah sulking on their couch with a bowl of ice cream and “Moana” playing.

“Rough day?”

“I miss Mani,” Dinah looked at her best friend and pouted.

Camila simply rolled her eyes at how dramatic her best friend was being. Dinah was so in love with her girlfriend, Normani, that she could not even handle a few days without the older woman. Normani had left just the night before to visit her family and best friend, Ally, back in Texas and Dinah has been acting like a complete baby ever since.

“It hasn’t even been 24 hours, Cheech.”

“You don’t understand!” Dinah threw a pillow at Camila. “What’s the point of living without her by my side?!”

“Okay, calm down, Juliet,” Camila sat down on the couch and instantly rested her head on Dinah’s shoulder. “Put the dagger away and just go FaceTime your girl.”

“I can’t. I know she’s having fun and I don’t want to take away time from her family and friends. I just feel so empty, you know?” Dinah sighed and leaned her head against her best friend’s. “Please tell me something interesting that happened today so I can distract myself.”

Camila thought about her day. She just finished a brutal bike ride because there was some convention that caused traffic along her normal route, so she had to take an alternate that included more hills than usual. Her mother was her typical self and kept pestering Camila to have dinner at their house because Sofi was being like any moody middle schooler. Not that she did not love her younger sister, but Camila knew the last thing Sofi needed was some staged intervention by their mother. Sometimes, things just sucked and you needed to be a bitch.

Nothing about her day was out of the ordinary except for the “flirtatious” moment she had with the stunning woman at the coffee shop earlier in the morning. Was their three-second gaze even considered a moment? Maybe it would have been if Camila had not fled in attempt to hide the flush of red that crawled across her face.

“I don’t know, there was this girl at the coffee shop.”

“A girl?!” Dinah’s head instantly snapped up and she bent her head down to look at her best friend with eager eyes. “Spill!”

Camila sat up and shook her head at the mischievous look on Dinah’s face. She shrugged and mumbled, “It’s nothing. We just looked at each other and I ran away.”

“Ugh, not again, Chancho!” Dinah buried her face in the palms of her hands. She groaned at how awful her best friend was at interacting with anyone she found even slightly attractive.

They have been best friends ever since Camila had initially moved to San Francisco and they ended up living in adjacent townhomes. They hit it off right away despite them going to different high schools - Camila at a randomly assigned public school while Dinah went to a private performing arts school on the opposite side of the park. Their families got close as Dinah’s parents always welcomed Camila and Sofi into their homes when Sinu had a night shift, and Camila tutored Dinah in basically every subject except Dance and Music Theory.

With Camila not being the one to really go out and Dinah always getting stuck babysitting her younger siblings and cousins, the two of them basically spent every moment with each other outside of school. They maintained their friendship via constant texting and daily FaceTime sessions while Camila studied at NYU and Dinah stayed in San Francisco to become a dance instructor at the children’s dance studio a few blocks down from their homes. When Camila returned from New York, she knew she would go absolutely insane if she moved back home on top of already working every day with her mother, so she proposed to Dinah that they live together.

It really was not hard to convince the younger woman to move out of her family’s small townhome with twenty other people.

Their two-bedroom apartment was just five bus stops away from their families, but it was enough for them to feel somewhat independent and in their 20’s. They were able to finish a bottle of wine on a weeknight and not have their mothers scold them for displaying borderline concerning alcoholic tendencies. They rolled and smoked on their fire escape after a rough day - much more convenient than when they would have to sneak out in high school to light a joint at the neighborhood park. They did not have to be second mothers to the little kids running around their homes. They were able to simply enjoy being out of school and somewhat adulting.

Normani lived with them, too, but, with her working at a major tech company as one of the best computer engineers, she went on several business trips to the company’s other offices - from Seattle and Chicago, to Shanghai and Berlin. You would think with all the business trips the older woman has gone on, Dinah would be used to her absence, but it seemed that the younger woman’s separation anxiety only got worse with each trip. Sometimes, Dinah would be so miserable that Camila sucked up her pride and put on the tightest dress she owned just to take her best friend out clubbing.

Camila may not be able to dance, but her ass was big enough to not have to do much and still have guys fighting over her. She cannot lie and say it did not boost her ego to watch extremely desperate guys gawk at her as she tried to sway her hips the way Dinah so effortlessly did. There would always be a few handsy guys who would grab her waist from behind and try to slam their boners against her, but “D” in “Dinah” basically stood for “Dick Deflector."

The younger woman never let a guy get their way with her best friend - always shoving them away and grabbing Camila to dance with. Sometimes, Dinah would push Camila against a wall and grind on the older woman just so no guy could get at Camila from the front or back. Sometimes, Dinah would hold Camila from behind and bend her down just to make it clear that her best friend’s Cuban ass was off limits. It was hot for most guys to watch and, honestly, if they were not practically sisters, it would really look like Camila and Dinah had something going on between them. Normani would murder her girlfriend in a heartbeat if Dinah ever danced with anyone the way she did on Camila. The two best friends just worked - there was no other way to explain it. They balanced each other out, always had each other’s backs, and never failed to have the times of their lives together.

So, when Camila admitted she ran away from a girl at the coffee shop, Dinah was not surprised, considering the older woman always ran off to the bathroom whenever someone tried to pick her up at a bar or club. Camila was not experienced with intimacy and romance. In high school, she "dated” a basketball player, Austin, for less than a month before he dumped her because she denied his sexual advances. During her three years of college, Camila only went to a total of seven parties - only four of which she got drunk at and only two of those four instances did she drunkenly kiss someone. She gave Shawn a quick peck on the lips as a rule for King’s Cup and she hooked up with Hailee after she took a body shot from the girl’s cleavage. The girl took Camila to an empty room and showed her what is was like to be with a woman, being the first person to ever see Camila in such a vulnerable state. Camila did not regret having sex for the first time with Hailee, but, prior to their hook up, Camila never considered the thought of being attracted to girls. She always thought girls were pretty and felt more comfortable around them than with guys, but, after experiencing the sheer bliss and passion with Hailee, Camila could not help but think that maybe she was only attracted to guys because that was expected of her and being with a girl was what she truly desired.

This reveal was not surprising to Dinah, who always noticed how flustered her best friend got around boys and caught Camila staring at the cheerleaders more so than the football players when they would go to Friday night games back in high school. She did not care how her best friend identified - all Dinah cared about was that Camila found someone deserving. This was hard to determine when Camila could hardly even flirt. If a decently looking guy tried to converse with her, Camila would stutter and make some excuse about having to pick up her younger sister. Whenever a pretty girl passed by her, which was all the time because women are just so effortlessly beautiful, Dinah would have to physically close Camila’s mouth for her. The younger woman has tried to teach her best friend the basics, but Camila always froze in the moment and resorted to what she knew best: Running off to be by herself.

“I really tried this time, I swear!”

Dinah crossed her arms and gave her an incredulous look. “How?”

“Okay, so I was learning how to take care of succulents, which is much more complicated than you would think, and then I saw her,” Camila stood up to reenact the morning. “She was standing in line on her phone like this and I thought to myself, ‘I have to do something!’ So I did what I thought was the best thing to do in that moment and shoved half a ham and cheese croissant just so I could give the plate to the barista at the bar, where the girl was standing, waiting for her drink.”

Dinah’s mouth hung open at how ridiculous her best friend was, but she let Camila continue.

“When I turned around to go back to my table, our eyes met and holy shit! Dinah, her eyes! Her eyes were like, fuck, I don’t know how to explain it!”

“What color were they?”

“They were green, but not just green!”

“Oh, so like hints of blue?”

“No, no, no,” Camila shook her head furiously as she paced back and forth in front of the TV. “It’s not as simple as that. They were so full. I don’t know how to explain it except that it felt like magic and bliss and warmth and eternity! We looked at each other and time stopped and I felt a rush of comfort take over me as if I have been scouting the universe for centuries and finally found my home.”

When she stopped her movements and looked at Dinah, whose eyes were as wide as saucers, Camila shook her head in frustration at how she could not fathom into words how gorgeous this mystery woman was. She knew she sounded crazy, but, of everyone she has encountered - from Mexico, Cuba, Miami, San Francisco, and New York City - this woman was surreal. You know how everyone has a celebrity crush or that dream person that stars in every fantasy? This woman blew every face imaginable for Camila. Camila did not even understand how a face so perfect could exist - it had to be chiseled by God himself and topped with Midas’ touch.

After moments of silence, Camila plopped face first back into the couch and groaned into the cushions as her best friend rubbed her back.

“Oh, honey…” Dinah cooed. “Should I pop open the red or white?”

“White."

A/N:

This is going to be a very long story… Get ready for an agonizing slow burn…

I hope you enjoyed - thanks for reading!

Wattpad: nodustollens7

#UPDATE #series #AU #slash #camren #angst drama #humour #romance fluff #submission #The Last Person You Love

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recentanimenews · 4 years

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Anime in America Podcast: Full Episode 6 Transcript

We may not be able to go to the movies right now, but at least we can live vicariously through anime history in the latest episode of Crunchyroll's Anime in America podcast. Read on for the full episode 6 transcript!

The Anime in America series is available on crunchyroll.com, animeinamerica.com, and wherever you listen to podcasts.

EPISODE 6: AT THE MOVIES: EVENTUALLY

Guest: Jerry Beck

Disclaimer: The following program contains language not suitable for all ages. Discretion advised.

[Lofi music]

There is one name you HAVE to talk about when it comes to anime. A foundational influence on the entire medium and an enervating force in the animation market. A man without whom we may not even have the anime we know and love today.

It’s not Tezuka, but good guess.

When it comes to the world of animation, and honestly most media, all roads lead back to Walt Disney. The man who all the animators in Japan’s growing post-war industry were trying to emulate. Most prominent among them, the legendary manga author and Japanese national treasure Osamu Tezuka who truly lived up to Walt’s legacy both by popularizing the medium of animation and establishing many regrettable business practices still felt in the modern industry.

Disney’s beloved animated features were the envy of every studio on both sides of the Pacific and the pursuit of that special magic Walt brought to the silver screen was what kicked off the race to bring Japanese animation to America. So, I guess…we can start there.

[Lofi music]

In the ‘50s Toei Animation was basically the only major animation studio in Japan and had the stated intent of becoming “The Disney of the East.” Toei’s first 3 films, Hakujaden, Shonen Sautobi Sasuke, and Saiyuki were all released near the end of that decade and all stuck very closely to the Disney formula, retelling traditional folktales with colorful animation, plenty of cute animals, and, in the case of Saiyuki, musical interludes.

Back home in the U.S., Disney was deep in a run of blockbuster releases with titles like Cinderella, Alice in Wonderland, Peter Pan, and, umm [cough] Song of the South. Just about every major studio was trying to figure out how to steal some of that thunder. Metro-Goldwyn Mayer was one such studio who considered Disney their rivals at the box office. If you wanna know how that turned out for MGM, uh, Disney acquired their parent company Fox in March 2019.

It was never much of a rivalry to begin with. MGM put out a behind the scenes docu series called The MGM Parade aping Disney’s “The Magical World of Disney” series in 1955 and decided to close their animation department in 1957, the heads of which, a Mr. William Hanna and Joseph Barbera, would depart along with most of the staff to form the very successful Hanna-Barbera Productions.

So, what do you do when you want to compete with a company like Disney in animated features but don’t want to go to the trouble of producing any animated features? MGM became the first company to license and release a Japanese anime in the United States, premiering Toei’s Shonen Sarutobi Sasuke, retitled Magic Boy, in theaters in July 8th, 1961, winning a close race against Global Pictures and American International by only two months ahead their releases of Toei’s two other films, Hakujaden, retitled Panda and the Magic Serpent, and Saiyuki, retitled Alakhazam the Great.

They didn’t do too great, which probably explains why between those three movies released in 1961 and Hayao Miyazaki’s debut in American cinemas in 1986, only 3 other anime made it to theaters in the U.S.

Not even Tezuka’s magic could break open the box office for anime in the ‘70s. His production company, Mushi Production, had two films, A Thousand and One Nights and Cleopatra: Queen of Sex that were both released early in the decade and flopped. In the case of the latter, Xanadu Productions’s attempt to sell the erotic historical drama as a porno probably didn’t help.

The rest of the following two decades saw plenty of anime films being released in the West but only for direct to video releases with major Japanese studios leaning hard into this new market. Many U.S. distributors were now exploiting Japanese studios to animate their own cartoons, so many of the same era took on a sort of Western bend. Toei Animation in particular released a number of films during that period that seem pretty focused on replicating that Disney formula even more closely, using Western history and folktales as source material. Some of my favorite examples are The World of Hans Christian Andersen (originally Anderson Monogatari), Les Miserables (originally Jean Valjean Monogatari), 30,000 Miles Under the Sea (yes, miles), Animal Treasure Island, and even Puss n’ Boots (who became Toei’s logo) during the ‘70s.

[Music from “Toei Logo History” plays]

In 1986, Hayao Miyazaki finally appeared in the American scene. If you haven’t heard of him… how the fuck not? How is that possible? I don’t, I don’t understand. Often referred to as the Walt Disney of Japan, Miyazaki is the primary creative force of what would become the internationally renowned Studio Ghibli which we’ll get into a bit later. Their first film Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind was created before the studio even had a name, wowing American audiences with its beautiful art and epic story involving environmentalist themes... kind of. Well not really, actually. Manson International and Showmen Inc. got their hands on the movie and cut it up so bad you couldn’t really call it a Miyazaki work anymore. I mean, they didn’t, they changed everything. They changed the title to Warriors of the Wind, [Clip from 1985 commercial for Warriors of the Wind] renaming Nausicaa to “Princess Zandra” and doing their best to make it an action movie while cutting out any of the environmental themes at the core of the narrative by cutting out a whole 22 minutes of the film. Then they drew up a He-Man ass poster with a whole squad of dudes and a pegasus that were not even in the movie.

[Lofi music]

Enter Streamline Pictures.

Co-founded by Jerry Beck and Carl Macek. Each already working to spread the good word of anime, the two were disappointed in early dubs and brought a new philosophy to the localization game with Streamline.

Do. Not. Mess. With. It. Don’t do that. For your own good.

Beck: We were quite proud of them, because we had a theory on how to do this, which was to use the original music and effects tracks, not cut anything, uh and to do the dubs as accurately and as correctly as we possibly could, with the best actors we could get. Our model was the Warriors of the Wind, meaning we were going to be everything that movie wasn’t. We were going to be the opposite of Warriors of the Wind.

That was the man, Jerry Beck himself. The formula was simple, arguably a lot less work than completely changing a movie to shoe-horn it into some western film archetype, the two-man company began visiting Japanese studios… or rather their Los Angeles offices since every major Japanese studio had one of those in the 1980’s, and asking for dubbing and distribution rights.

Both passionate anime fans, the two had a ton of knowledge of emerging anime titles and an interest in bringing many of them over which larger studios would have passed up for dumb reasons like “profitability.”

Beck: We literally made a checklist that we got all the films. We wanted Fist of the Northstar, we wanted Wicked City, we wanted Vampire Hunter D, we wanted Castle of Cagliostro, we wanted- you know, we wanted Lensmen, but I’m not sure why, I actually know why at the time, but that’s such an odd film. So, but we ended up getting them all.

After handling the theatrical screenings of the Mangum Dub of Castle in the Sky, Macek secured a deal with Japanese publisher Tokuma Shoten to dub future titles, including My Neighbor Totoro and Kiki’s Delivery Service. After that they went on a tear, where they were basically the only company in the game theatrically releasing anime from 1985 to 1995, averaging almost 2 movies a year in a period where non-Streamline anime films could be counted on one hand with room to spare.

I cannot emphasize enough how much Streamline did for anime in America. They even helped the medium properly break into American television in the early ‘90s alongside Central Park Media by contributing to Syfy’s anime block which aired Dominion Tank Police, Robot Carnival, Project A-Ko, Vampire Hunter D, and another film brought to the U.S. by Streamline which could be considered their greatest achievement.

Akira. Or AH-ki-ra [first syllable stress], if you’re a purist.

Beck: Marvel Comics was printing an adaptation of Akira and we knew about the film [Requiem from Akira plays]. And at that point, that was like, of course like ‘88 or so, you know there were already bootleg VHS copies for sale at comic book conventions and stuff. But we looked at it and went “oh my God, this is like state of the art, you know? This is really a big deal for film.” And I don’t even think we had seen it on the big screen or anything, we just knew we wanted it, if it was gettable. And the good news was that the Akira Committee was kinda desperately wanted it to be shown in America, and they had gone to Paramount, Universal, Fox, everywhere, trying to get somebody to pick up Akira, and nobody would because it was too violent. The idea of that kind of thing being shown in America was, you know, unthinkable. So we were like “we’ll do it!”

Akira was a cultural and technological achievement in animation. It set a new record number of colors used in an animated feature at 327, 50 of which were unique colors created specifically for the movie. You could fill a mega size box of Crayons with colors that only exist thanks to Akira, which is insane. The film consisted of 160,000 frames, clocking in at almost 3 times the average for an animated feature of that same length. It was also the most expensive anime film ever produced at the time with a budget of 1.1 billion Japanese Yen. As Jerry said, it was also intensely violent, considered graphic in Japan and especially in America which still considered animation almost wholly a realm of children’s entertainment. The Akira Committee was desperate to get it in American theaters. And obviously, there were difficulties.

After being collectively shot down by Hollywood, the Akira Committee was approached by the small and unproven Streamline with a unique offer: if the Akira Committee could put up the cost to dub and distribute, Streamline would give them 100% of the profits up to a cap before beginning to collect their own percentage.

And it was not easy. Jerry had to negotiate for months with an agent from the committee who basically watched their operation at work to make sure they knew what they were doing. Then Streamline was given an opportunity to prove themselves by hosting a screening of the film in the Spreckles theater at ComicCon. Only once they pulled that off did the committee ink the deal, but with one demand. They were adamant about getting a quality dub and wanted someone who had, at the very least, been nominated for an Academy Award to manage it. At the very least. Carl Macek had one of his associates search around and eventually they landed on Sheldon Renan, who had previously received recognition from the Motion Pictures Association of America for a documentary short just to fit the bill.

[Akira versus Kaneda, english dub clip]

And it was a hit. Screenings pulled in profits on par with or even exceeding critically acclaimed live action foreign films. Streamline established their reputation in the industry on the success of Akira, and the next step was home video, which turned into another battle for Streamline as one of the principles of the committee, Kodansha, was intent on selling out the rights to a large distributor based on Akira’s success in theaters. Still they were turned down and once again, despite not even being a home video distributor, Streamline made an offer.

Beck: We said to them, you know, we’re gonna get you the reviews, you’re going to get reviews in every town. We got Siskel and Ebert, they reviewed it; we got it on Entertainment Tonight, we got it everywhere. And so we were doing all this stuff, the idea though, the goal, was to get all this coverage and then they would go, they would instead of going to movie studios they would go to the home video people and try to convince them to put it out on home video. No home video distributor wanted it. Nobody. Because there was nowhere, we found out later, there was no place in a video store, then, for them to put it. They couldn’t put it in the kids’ cartoon section, the idea of putting it in science fiction, I don’t know why that didn’t work, that should’ve worked, but they probably had Heavy Metal there, but they for some reason that was not a thing that- they didn’t, there was nowhere to put what we call “anime” in a video store at that time. They did say to us “you gotta have a bunch of them. Five, six, seven, and we’ll create a shelf, we’ll put a shelf in our stores.” This is what Blockbuster said, this is what Suncoast said. So we ended up, we ended up, what we did was we got the vid- they couldn’t sell the video rights, so WE got the video rights, even though we weren’t a video company! And so we ended up putting out Akira on VHS. We couldn’t sell it in video stores. So we ended up- and there was no Ebay or Amazon, that didn’t exist, so we actually went to comic book stores and obviously it was the perfect thing to do, because Akira was a comic book, it was manga, and Marvel was printing it. And we ended up selling them to comic book stores and we- it worked. It was exclusive to comic book stores, it was the only place you could get it. Oh my God, we sold… thousands.

Streamline hung up its hat with the release of Space Adventure Cobra in 1995 but many of their partners who handled the theatrical distribution like Tara Releasing and Fathom Events continued without them. Just as TV anime was headed toward its own watershed moment, the field for anime movies broadened in the second half of the ‘90s. Manga Entertainment brought over Ghost in the Shell with Palm Pictures in 1996. VIZ Media broke into films by capitalizing on Ranma ½’s growing popularity with the release of Ranma ½ the Movie: Big Trouble in Nekonron China alongside CBS theatrical in 1998.

And then the big one came. 4Kids partnered with Kids WB and dropped Pokemon: The First Movie in 1999. And to call it a smash hit for anime movies would be an understatement. [Pokemon: The First Movie, trailer 1 plays] I saw it. Because my dad bought the VHS from one of those dudes that sold bootlegs in the Kroger parking lot. The one he hand recorded himself. You remember those? We had ‘em.

The movie hit $10.1 million in the box office on its opening day, which was a Wednesday, by the way. Over its opening weekend it would climb to $31 million and eventually cap out at $85 million at the box office which has remained the record anime movie in the United States for 20 years. For a moment in time it even claimed the best opening weekend for an animated feature full stop until Toy Story 2 dropped two weeks later. [Pokemon Bumper - 2000] Plastic-faced newscasters began referring to its opening weekend as “Pokeflu,” since so many kids mysteriously called in sick from school the same day.

“Pokemania Comes to America - 1999, ABC News”: Pokemon is now in full mania! And others may follow suit, when a new Pokemon movie hit theaters this fall, spurring even more… Pokemania.

"’Pokémania’: 1999 MSNBC Pokémon News Report”: School officials are finding that Pokemon cards are responsible for fist fights and the constant trading is not only distracting kids from classwork, but turning the playground into a black market.

And ya know what? Given recent events, Pokeflu sounds very racist. But that’s what they called it.

Anime was still a few years off from its Oscar grab and even today hasn’t fully reached acceptance as a respected form of media, but the Pokemon movie proved there was lots and lots of money to be made from anime if you played your cards right. Although it’s difficult to tell if that's what 4Kids and Warner Bros did. Each subsequent Pokemon movie pulled in roughly half what the previous managed. Pokemon: The Movie 2000 scored a total box office of $43 million and Pokemon 3: The Movie grabbed $17 million before the whole thing fell off a cliff. Pokemon 4Ever pulled in only $1.7 million and Pokemon Heroes didn’t even crack $1 million. Mind you, this still gives Pokemon the 1st, 2nd, 6th, and 19th highest box offices of anime films in the U.S., so, you know, what do I know?

Pokemon’s explosive success at the box office inspired other attempts to grab some of that Disney demographic. Fox was the first to jump after the 1999 success of the first Pokemon movie with Digimon: The Movie which I’m definitely gonna talk about in a little bit. 4Kids itself also tried to recapture that Pokemon magic as the franchise was showing diminishing returns with Yu-Gi-Oh! The Movie: Pyramid of Light.

Unfortunately the Pokemon movies were also a return to form for crazed American producers with scissors. 4Kids onigiri erasure in Pokemon TV series is notorious on its own, but its former president Norman Grossfeld also feared the Pokemon: The Movie movie would do poorly as written. Casting Mewtwo as a sympathetic antagonist confused and angered the profit-minded execs who produced content for children despite probably never having children of their own. They cut out the prologue describing Mewtwo’s past as the victim of genetic experiments and made edits to portray him as a generic villain and Mew as… like some kinda savior, messiah-type thing?

[Lofi music]

Fox, in its desperation to compete with the success of Warner Brothers’s Pokemon looked to Digimon, spawning the creation of the cinematic chimera Digimon: The Movie. You see, there wasn’t actually a movie called Digimon: The Movie in Japan, but several short Digimon films titled Digimon Adventure, Digimon Adventure:... um… Children’s War Game?, and Digimon Adventure 02: Digimon Hurricane Landing!!.

The first two had been directed by the acclaimed Mamoru Hosoda and the last by Shigeyasu Yamauchi. I really want to emphasize these were three different movies utilizing different art styles and creative processes with the last one even focusing on an almost entirely different cast of characters. So, like Harmony Gold before them, they took a knife to all three features, leaving more than 40 minutes on the cutting room floor to create a bizarrely paced, three-arc, Digimon feature before slapping on a mostly ska soundtrack and Angela Anaconda short in the beginning [Angela Anaconda part of the Digimon Movie]. The movie premiered in 2000 and was panned by critics but walked away with a $9.6 million box office, making it the 9th most successful anime film in the States, so I’m sure the producers cried all the way to the bank while the rest uh… learned that evil pays.

Yu-Gi-Oh! The Movie: Pyramid of Light came later in 2004 and might be an even more bizarre feature than Digimon, since 4Kids produced the movie rather than just chopping it up after the fact. In fact, it might be the first anime film to be screened in the United States before Japan, releasing in August while Japan didn’t get the theatrical release until November. Somehow the Japanese version was still a full 14 minutes longer than the U.S. release. It’s not really clear whether Studio Gallop made the film whole cloth and 4Kids cut it down, as was their usual practice, or if they added some extra content after the fact that 4Kids didn’t want for the American audience. I guess we’ll never know.

Since it was produced for the U.S., we did get the bonus of having all the cards appear like the actual game complete with english text, even if it sometimes appeared upside-down. Pyramid of Light also had ska music unfortunately. Umm… the 2000s was a, it was a big time for ska. Once again the movie was panned, finding a place in Rotten Tomatoes’s 100 worst reviewed films of the 2000s, but became the 4th most successful anime film in the U.S. ever, with a $19.8 million box office.

But that is enough about box office for now. Now we can talk about home video releases.

[Lofi music]

If you’ve ever tried to catch an anime film in theaters, you’ve probably noticed that even today they usually have extremely limited showings. At Streamline’s peak, they weren’t the only company localizing anime films, they were just the only ones making a push to put them in theaters. Other publishers were going for the straight to video route, but there was one serious hang-up. Blockbuster just didn’t give a shit.

Streamline’s own Akira release had limited theatrical showings, meaning they were leaning heavily into home video and the movie really beat the odds, finding success in the two markets mom and pop video stores and comic shops. Bootleg fansubs of Akira had been in circulation for months before the film’s official release, so Streamline sweetened the deal by including actual original animation cels with the VHS which seems less an intelligent marketing gimmick and more of a giveaway of cultural artifacts in retrospect. Those people are probably very wealthy, now. It was probably also unnecessary. Akira’s home video success was a moment in anime history in many ways, but it was also an exception.

The direct to video market would never find the same success in comic shops that Akira had. You could find anime in privately owned video stories but even then they were being crowded out by mainstream outlets like Blockbuster who were much less interested in putting anime on their shelves, especially of the famously violent variety like Akira. For anime to get its foot in the door, it would need a new face that was not only child friendly but also insanely popular. I know I just talked about Pokemon’s breakout success, but its home video wouldn’t hit the shelves until 2000. Instead, the man who would help open Blockbusters’s blue and gold doors for other anime in the late ‘90s was one of its creators who most famously hates home video. Hayao Miyazaki.

Miyazaki was already making the rounds in the U.S. via World Pictures and Streamline dubs of a few of his films which was probably fine by him, as he seems to resent the idea of people watching his movies in any setting other than a theater, but Ghibli producer Toshio Suzuki had his sights set on dominating the animation industry and Disney just happened to be in the market for international films. Former Head of Disney Home Video International Division and current CEO of Herbalife Nutrition Michael O Johnson inked a deal with Ghibli in 1996 granting global distribution rights to their entire library of films.

This was thanks in large part to the effort of Disney’s Steve Alpert who went so far as to film a mini-documentary in Disney studios to basically show Eisner and his fellow suits that every single person they employed to draw moving pictures was already a diehard fan of Miyazaki’s work. Alpert himself would jump ship to Ghibli to work alongside Suzuki battling his former employer at every turn to make sure they kept their promise about not cutting Ghibli films.

Probably expecting Ghibli’s next film to be another Totoro or Kiki, Disney was shocked to see limbs flying off people's bodies in Princess Mononoke and pushed the distribution under their Miramax label to distance themselves from its morally objectionable content, which I can only assume came from a place of deep ignorance of both their own company’s history and the work of their HR department. Also the notion that um… just producing the same thing under a different wing of your company makes you any less morally objectionable… is also morally objectionable.

Unfortunately the Harvey Weinstein-lead Miramax was dead set on changing everything about Mononoke that it possibly could. And with Ghibli holding onto an iron-clad contract giving them final say, this transformed into all-out warfare with Miramax trying to weasel in every change they could and Alpert flying over the Pacific to nip that shit in the bud, only ending after Weinstein himself was twice humiliated in public. And to that I say: Good. First in a now iconic story wherein Suzuki presents him with a unsharpened prop sword at a meeting full of Disney and Miramax suits while shouting “Mononoke-hime NO CUT,” and then when Miyazaki and crew left in the middle of their own post-premiere party to carefully consider the suggestion Weinstein had been shouting at Alpert to chop 40 minutes off the movies runtime or they’d “never work in this town again.” And then several years later, the entire entertainment industry said “no, YOU’LL never work in this town again!”

Although Streamline had been following our modern era’s best practice of not messing with the source material for about a decade, Ghibli’s “no cuts” policy was one of the first pushes in that direction to come from Japan and doubtless helped to normalize the practice… eventually. As I said before, 4Kids and Fox raked in millions spinning out heavily edited films but Buena Vista bending the knee to Ghibli’s demands, the lasting cultural impact of Ghibli movies, and an increasingly saturated market of TV anime untouched by an editor’s razor eventually pushed the industry in the right direction. After all, no edited anime movies ever have been nominated for Oscars, but more on that later.

Despite being a global hit, Princess Mononoke didn’t really take off in the way Disney had hoped, only pulling in $2.3 million in its first eight weeks. But it recovered in… that’s right, home video releases! Boom. Got ‘em. They also started churning out actual VHS releases for other Ghibli titles like Kiki’s Delivery Service and My Neighbor Totoro and then, when Streamline’s rights expired, Disney produced their own lavish dubs for DVD re-releases featuring a star-studded cast with voices like Dakota Fanning, Kirsten Dunst, Patrick Stewart, and uh, Shia LeBeouf. What?! Blockbuster was finally persuaded to start moving in anime content when Disney’s Buena Vista came knocking and the doors were officially open for more anime content.

Ghibli was way ahead of its time in many ways and rights management was no exception. Or at least Miyazaki’s insistence on the purity of a theater-only movie-viewing experience had some unintended benefits. A mere two years before 4Kids would pull off the heist of the century screwing Shogakukan and Nintendo out of millions in profits in their deal of the explosively popular Pokemon franchise, Ghibli would deny Disney digital rights to their works in their contract. Disney was fine with that, the prevailing belief among executives being that those rights were basically useless. Ha-ha! Imagine that.

Disney wasn’t interested in digital and if Disney, the most powerful media rights holder in the world, wasn’t going to push into that new sphere of distribution, then it was doomed to failure. Which, looking at the titanic size of Netflix who recently acquired streaming rights to the Ghibli Films worldwide minus Japan and the U.S. and is now staring down the barrel of Disney’s own competing streaming service Disney+ and Warner’s HBO Max, is kinda funny in retrospect.

[Lofi music]

Buena Vista might’ve helped Ghibli in another way though. Let's talk about when anime won an Oscar. No one’s quite sure how it happened, really. Not that Spirited Away didn’t deserve it. It definitely did. It’s a good movie. It’s just, uh, this was the first and only of Miyazaki’s works to have even been nominated. Ever. In fact, no anime films before Spirited Away in 2003 received a nomination for best animated film in the Academy Awards, and only The Tale of Princess Kaguya has been nominated since. Maybe the stars aligned, maybe it’s because Spirited Away’s stiffest competition in the 75th Academy Awards was Lilo & Stitch and Ice Age [Spirited Away Wins Animated Feature: 2003 Oscars], maybe it's because Spirited Away carried extra credibility by being released in the U.S. under the auspices of Disney. Whatever the cause, anime, via Ghibli, had grabbed a piece of critical acclaim in the American entertainment industry that seemed otherwise determined to ignore it.

Not that Hollywood hadn’t noticed anime long ago. Two of America’s most celebrated directors, Christopher Nolan and Darren Aronofsky, have both committed what can charitably be described as borrowing from a certain Japanese director by the name of Satoshi Kon to build their respective, uh repertoires. Aranofsky heavily borrowed story, themes, and imagery from Kon’s Perfect Blue in his film Black Swan and even recreated the bath scene from Perfect Blue in his Requiem for a Dream. Guess which two of those three movies were nominated for Oscars? Nolan’s Inception collected four Oscars in 2010 which contained several scenes that anime fans got a sneak preview of 3 years before in the limited screening of Kon’s 2007 Paprika. And also in that one uh, Donald Duck comic strip.

Uh, look, I’m not trying to roast anybody or anything like that. Maybe Aronofsky. But you just can’t talk about Spirited Away grabbing an Oscar without giving mention to not just anime films, but foreign films in general which Hollywood seems to find value in but only when filtered through one of its own creators. So what does this get us? It gets us Scarlett Johansenn playing a woman named Motoko Kusanagi and an Oldboy remake that completely misses the point.

Trust me when I say the only good adaptations by Hollywood are Doug Liman’s Edge of Tomorrow and the Wachowski sisters’s Speed Racer. You heard it here. If you want a new Ghost in the Shell movie just open your wallet, call Mamoru Oshii, and ask him to make another one. Stop with this weird shit.

Although many films were in uncertain licensing situations until GKIDs started recollecting them, the works of visionary directors like Mamoru Hosoda, Satoshi Kon, and Isao Takahata have managed to find their way to American theaters over the years without edits and a minimal delay that recently has been reduced down to less than a year. Not quite simulcasting, but given none of them have had a real breakout hit, it’s long strides to think that fans have had consistent opportunities to watch their movies in theaters over the years and purchase them in home video.

[Lofi music.]

Since Miyazaki’s most recent retirement, Ghibli underwent a sort of identity crisis on what to make of their studio or even if they would continue making films at all. During this period many of their creators left to join other studios, some of them even forming their own Studio Ponoc itself dedicated to continuing Ghibli’s traditions of movie making. Ghibli itself was just kinda there until very recently, when the aforementioned GKIDs secured the rights to Ghibli within the U.S. and entered into a deal to stream the entire Ghibli library on HBO Max. Ghibli also recently announced that it's nearing the release of TWO new films, Miyazaki’s own How Do You Live? and the studio’s first entirely CG feature film Earwig and the Witch, by Miyazaki’s son, Goro.

And I know what you’re thinking. I thought the same thing until I saw the images and I will just say I’m definitely gonna go see it.

And y’know what? That’s great for Disney, but Ghibli’s downtime created an existential dread within the anime industry and fandom, because there wasn’t any other big name director to replace Miyazaki in the collective consciousness of America as “THE anime director,” or as Mother’s Basement on YouTube would say “the new Miyazaki,” until only recently...

Makoto Shinkai has been directing anime movies, arguably the SAME anime movie, since 1998 and has been a well known quantity in the fandom since his 2002 film Voices of a Distant Star. But something changed in 2016. His movies are almost always about young people in love separated by time, space, circumstance, or supernatural circumstance, but each iteration has refined his technique until one finally reached critical mass. Your Name became the most successful Japanese film of any kind in multiple countries, including China, and Japan’s second most successful anime film domestically behind Spirited Away. Didn’t even crack the top 10 in the U.S., though.

And no Oscar.

That said, Your Name was a resounding success in the United States, now surpassed by Shinkai’s newest film Weathering with You last year. Each pulling in $5 million in the box office is no small feat for anime films. Appearing more frequently in mainstream outlets may be slowly growing Shinkai into a household name which, matched with his own formula for successful films, could be the beginning of another single director legacy that will pull the industry up with it.

Now although we’ve seen less explosive releases since the children-focused anime movies around the turn of the millenia, it’s hard to describe our past decade of the 2010s as anything but a stateside renaissance for anime film. While the collective box office brought in by anime in the U.S. during the 2000s completely dwarfs that of the ‘90s, there weren’t all that many more films making it over. The real difference in the marketing and theater availability after Pokemon provided a proof of concept. Although there’s been roughly 50% more anime films coming out per year in Japan in the 2010s than the 2000s, the yearly average with theatrical releases in the states more than doubled between the decades.

And while TV anime are slowly being consolidated into a few select streaming services, more distribution companies have entered the industry to put anime films in theaters. Nowadays GKIDs, Fathom Events, and Eleven Arts have an almost monthly churn of screenings that actually top the daily box offices… on their Wednesday showings. Wednesday. Still, given the movies are airing in limited theaters and showings, the numbers are very good. Just last year Dragon Ball Super: Broly had the 3rd most successful box office for an anime film in the U.S. at $30 million.

Sounds like we’re in a pretty good place. Well, it’s all- I mean, it’s all relative. We have doubled the number of movies we license every year since last decade, but American theater-goers still only get the opportunity to watch maybe half of the anime films that come out every year in Japan. Meanwhile, there are an average of over 200 TV anime produced every year and, with rare exceptions, every single one is licensed and distributed in the United States across a number of streaming services. Next up, we’re going to talk about anime on TV and how it's grown into one of the largest, fastest, and most sophisticated localization industries in the world.

Bye!

[Lofi music]

Thank you for listening to Anime in America, presented by Crunchyroll. If you enjoyed this, please go to Crunchyroll.com/animeinamerica to start your 14-day free trial or just log on for some free, ad-supported anime.

Special thanks to Jerry Beck. You can find more of Jerry’s work over on cartoonresearch.com along with the history of Streamline Pictures written by Fred Patten, one of the co-founders.

This episode is hosted by me, Yedoye Travis, and you can find me on Instagram at ProfessorDoye or Twitter @YedoyeOT. This episode is researched and written by Peter Fobian, edited by Chris Lightbody, and produced by me, Braith Miller, Peter Fobian and Jesse Gouldsbury.

By: [email protected]

#Anime #News #Latest in Anime News by Crunchyroll!

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tagadatsoin · 6 years

Text

WHAT IS VIDEO PRODUCTION?

Video production is the process done by video makers to capture and create unique and awesome content with the use of raw videos, pictures and text, edited and pieced together using various video making software, to have a one-of-a-kind video masterpiece. It is a tedius process of capturing, re-capturing and editing various inputs to create a video for your specific need or to impact a unique set of audience.

Video makers invest time, effort and money into obtaining various equipment and software to further aid them in the pursuit of video perfection. Video makers search for the perfect scene and insert the perfect music that best fits the message of the video. All this is done in order for the audience to completely be immersed in the video being presented.

Video production continues to evolve, with new storage media, equipment, methods and software being developed ,meaning that there will continually be improvements to it. As time goes by, we see more and more graphics, effects and music being added to video presentations thus making this art form progress even more.

If one wants to become a video maker, one should first understand the key concepts to video production:

Writing

Shooting

Editing

WHAT IS WRITING?

Wriritng involves creating the plot, outline or script to any video production endeavour. Sure, you can go out and take lots of videos of various people, places, things and events, and go back to your studio and piece together all the video clips you’ve gathered and create a video, but it wouldn’t have a story; it would just be a hodge-podge of various clips. To be an effective videographer, you need to have a story. In every story, there has to be a beginning, a middle and an end, hence the need for effective writing.

Through the process of writing or creating a script, you have to ask and eventually answer the following questions:

Who should I talk to?

Where and when am I going to start filming?

What do I want the viewer to receive?

By investing time and effort into your writing, you get to have direction on how your video is going to go. One will get a clearer picture on the things that need to be considered going into the video production process like weather, people, location, and the like. It is through the writing process that you get to roughly outline the video project. But also keep in mind that though the presence of a good outline is best, one must leave a certain amount of mystery or ambiguousness which will be given only upon actual filming.

Writing also involves determining what equipment you should use and bring along to every video recording. Cameras, lights, audio and recording equipment all have their respective strengths and weaknesses and it is imporant to decide which one is needed in a particular scene.

WHAT IS SHOOTING?

After you have decided on your outline, you are now guided on what to ask, where to go, and what to do in your upcoming video, now it is time to put the plan into motion. Shooting is the actual process of going out onto the world and to start filming.

Shooting involves experiencing the story you want to capture. It’s easy to get lost with the myriad of things going on while filming, this is where the importance of the script or outline lies, it reminds you of what is important in the filming process.

It is very important, in the shooing process, to be consistent. Consistent in such a way that your style of filming does not get lost, despite the various angles and possible dialogue that may present itself. Be consistent in your style of filming, the storyline and the plot because audiences can be distracted with the possible various angles and directions you shoot at and it could give an entirely different look and feel to the video.

Do not be afraid to mix it up. Simple words to keep in mind during the shooting process are: wide, medium and tight. Be sure to capture footage, especially action scenes, dialogue and other impotant scenes in a wide angle first. Then repeat and take time to shoot the same scene in a medium angle shot. And finally, be brave and get yourself in the mix of the action by filming in a tight angle shot. By doing so, you can have the opportunity to get various angles of the same scene and eventually be able to emphasize the important ones in the future.

It is also very imporant to keep things stable. Remember that you are shooting and telling a story, not a music video or sport shot. Use a tripod and or stablelizers whenever possible to minimize the effects of shaking onto your captured video. Shaky bits can confuse the audience on what you are trying to portray.

WHAT IS EDITING?

After you have gathered all your footage, stuck to the storyline and captured all that needs to be captured, it is time to piece it all together – hence editing.

If you have stuck to your script and storyline, then you are at an advantage, meaning that you have some work cut out for you, but you aren’t out of the woods yet; you still have to sift through various footage to ge the best ones that portray the desired message.

Be sure to show your subject, the one talking, on screen once in a while; it helps build understanding and trust between the storyline and the audience. We tend to associate voices to people, so by doing so, you help paint a better picture of what he/she is trying to say.

One has to be creative whenever one is editing. It is through the editing process that the video gets brought to life. If a particular subject matter, example a dog, is being talked about, one does not necessarily have to show the subject itself, one can use the environment that the subject habitually interacts with to be able to paint a clear picture and or story.

One of the hardest things about editing is selecting which scene should be part of the video. Just because you spent so much effort to capture a certain scene in a very obscure and hard angle, doesn’t necessarily mean that it should be part of the video, that is why a particular scene is shot multiple times at various angles. If a certain shot doesn’t help in the desired message, cut it out. We cannot stress how difficult the editing process is, that is why sometimes the videographer isn’t the same as the editor. The one who shot the video tends to be more attached at a particular scene, because they put a lot of effort into capturing it, and could lead to a biased editing.

In the editing process, it is important to separate one’s self from the experience involved during filming, because one might confuse the participation in a particular scene as valid reason in it being included in the final video. If you are acting as the videographer as well as editor, we recommend that you remove all emotions attached to the captured footage and rather focus on the desired story or message of the final video.

What are the essentials to every video production adventure?

Video making is an art form, with it one can convey various messages in an extremely creative manner. By creating unique video content, one is able to do away with the limitation of words, sentences and letters and instead convey thoughts, ideas and emotions through actions that is captured via a recording device. To create videos one needs the following:

Camera or video capturing device

Tripod or stablelizer

Lights

Software

CAMERAS OR VIDEO CAPTURING DEVICES

They are the heart to any video making project. Video maker’s use this machine to capture content which will later be edited and pieced together to tell the story. These devices enable individuals to shoot content, zoom in, zoom out, record audio and most imporantly, store various scenes and footage. Without this device, no video production can happen.

TRIPOD OR STABLELIZERS

Stability is important to every video project. The audience will be unable to understand properly the message the video wishes to impart if the footage taken is not focused, unclear and shacky. Tripods are essential because they are attached to video cams and allow the video cam to record the scene, in a manner which is focused and stable. Tripods these days come in various functions such as panoramic shoots which allow for the video to be shot in various angles and be directed via remote.

LIGHTS

Lights, much like in photography, aid in giving a better view of the subject matter as we all have the subtle effect of painting emotion. Lighting is essential because it helps set the scene, in a particular strip, without the need for dialogue. Lights also help the video in identifying small details and or emphasize the subject.

SOFTWARE

The software used in video production is responsible for piecing together and editing various footage. The software acts as the medium in which all the footage is loaded and it enables the editor to sift through the various recorded videos and select which one is apt for the final output. Video editing software also allows editors to create customized effects, transitions and music to further enhance the video output. It allows the editor to custom any and every video to fit what needs to be portrayed.

Video production has become a very lucrative industry because in this day and age, documentation and presentation is becoming key to every event. People now a days are investing time, money and effort into making various important moments of their lives well documented, edited and presented in various occasions. These video projects often involve days even weeks of preparation and require various individuals to be involved. Here are some of the events that involve superb video production setups:

Weddings – weddings happen only once, in the majority of cases, in an individual’s lifetime, thus should be well documented and presented on the day as well. These involve ellaborate gimicks and should be shot in various locations so as to achieve the desired image of the couple-to-be. Normally the process of childhood, how the couple met, where they went, what goes into the wedding preparation and the wedding itself is documented in the entire process and is then presented upon reception.

Debuts – a woman’s 18th birthday is usually well documented. A woman is only 18 once after all and recent trends suggest that this event should be well documented. This process normally involves taking the debutant to a very beautiful place and various footage is taken of her in various ellaborate clothing. It involves messages from her loved ones, both local and abroad, who wish to impart life lessons unto the debutant.

Corporate events – corporate event documentation has become a fad in recent years. Companies shell out big bucks in order for their events to be documented and presented also during the event. It usually involves a bit of dancing, messages from key individuals in the company and various gimicks.

Film – this media has been part of the modern age for decades. The film industry shows how much the video production process has evolved; from black and white to colored to completely CGI films, so much is possible with video making. Films are probably the most commercial form of video production. It has been around for ages and is continually being patronized by individuals worldwide. Box office hit after box office hit, people cannot get enough of movies, actors, stories and visual effects. Various storylines keep the audience glued for the next upcoming movies boasting the most popular movie actors. There is no dobut that because of the film industry, video production will further enjoy rapid development and unparalleled worldwide support and a cult following.

With so much going on that needs to be documented, why not practice your video making skills and become a video maker. You just need a camera, a good storyline and time to create your next masterpiece.

#video production #video marketing #video

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