#choose your ending

[zepskies]

Choosing Him

Pairing: Dean W. x Reader, Sam W. x Reader

Summary: You and Sam have been dating and living together for a few months, when Dean shocks you with a confession. Now you have to choose.

AN: This was requested by this beautiful anon! (And also by my friend! ❤️)

Read this as a stand-alone or see this imagine for context: Dean gives you an impossible choice. (In which Dean is in love with Sam’s girlfriend.)

**Note: This contains two alternate endings: Sam vs. Dean.

Song Inspo: “I’m on Fire” by Bruce Springsteen

Word Count: 4,300 Tags/Warnings: Angst, hurt/comfort, unrequited love, as well as love requited.

Imagine: Choosing him.

“Dean, just talk to me. What the hell happened?” Sam asked.

No, he implored. Angrily.

But he implored, nonetheless.

Dean was good at being stubborn. In fact, he was a professional. His lips were tight in a frown, his brows just as knitted as his brother’s.

He sat cross armed on the couch while Sam stood, using his hands to punctuate his exclamations, as he often did when he was frustrated.

“Nothing, man. I already told you,” Dean tried.

“No,” Sam said sharply. “She’s actively avoiding you. And you’re taking any excuse you can not to be within three feet of my girlfriend. So either you said something, or you did something.”

Dean looked up at his brother with a heavy sigh through his nose.

They’d been at this for a while now. So long that he was surprised you hadn’t come barreling into the living room already to break up the argument. Because he had a feeling that just the sight of you would shut them both up. (Not in a good way.)

Dean’s throat was tight, his stomach churning with unease, though he tried to show none of it on his face. He could see that Sam was on the verge of losing his shit. Just a hair away from assuming the worst.

And the worst of him.

That, Dean couldn’t abide.

“Look,” he gritted out. “I didn’t do anything.”

Sam paused, tilting his head. He took in a breath that was only slightly calming, enough that he lowered to a seat on the coffee table, across from his brother.

“Then what’d you say?” he asked.

Dean felt even guiltier just remembering.

Three weeks ago…

You wanted to know why he was drinking alone. Why he’d downed nearly an entire bottle of Jameson in the kitchen on a Tuesday night.

“You really wanna know?” Dean asked. His voice was both a rumble and a coarse whisper. His green-eyed gaze fell to your lips.

He watched you suck in a subtle breath. Your eyed widened, and your body froze. He also saw the blush staining your cheeks.

So he leaned in, slowly. He was mere inches away from finding out how sweet you really were.

He heard your shallow breath. His eyes flicked up to yours, and instinctively knew that he’d captured you. He was making you think about it.

“Tell me no,” Dean said. Tell me to stop, or I swear to God...

“Dean, what...” you whispered. But that wasn’t a no.

Still, he couldn’t. He just couldn’t do it. Not to Sam.

Dean merely reached out with a hand to soothe a gentle thumb across your cheek. He realized then that he loved you. He loved you enough to let you go, if he had to.

"It comes down to this," Dean said. His voice was deep, full of grit and desire. He saw the conflict in your eyes.

He swallowed. His heart was pounding against his ribcage, but he used every ounce of self-restraint he had left, forcing his hand to fall away from your cheek.

"You've got two choices, sweetheart," he said. And he pulled away, leaving you there at the table.

You never told him to stop…but he just couldn’t do it.

“It doesn’t matter,” Dean eventually answered his brother.

He ultimately couldn’t bring himself to voice the desperation of a drunken idiot.

He met Sam’s gaze directly. This much, he could say.

“All you need to know is I’d never…even drunk off my ass, I’d never hurt you,” Dean said.

Sam turned those words back and forth in his mind. His mouth firmed as he read between the lines, as he so often had to with Dean, who struggled to express the deeper parts of himself. Sam realized then what his brother was finally confessing.

“She loves you,” Dean added, with a self-deprecating smile.

That fell between them for a moment, as Sam rested a hand on his knee and processed all of this in record time. He glanced up.

“What about you?” he asked.

Again, with that quirk of a smile that didn’t reach Dean’s eyes.

“Don’t you worry about that either.”

He got up, clapped Sam on the shoulder, and left him there to continue thinking. Dean passed the kitchen and continued down the hall.

Neither man realized that you were standing behind the kitchen doorway. You’d been about to attempt a bit of stress baking. A chocolate tart, maybe. Or a cheese souffle. Or even the new cherry pie recipe you’d found for Dean. Anything to take your mind off your current predicament.

However, now you knew you couldn’t put it off anymore.

You didn’t want this, for either of them. You couldn’t let yourself be a coward.

Steeling yourself with a deep breath, you left the safety of the kitchen…

And you ventured into the living room, where your boyfriend was still brooding. He raised his head when he saw you out of the corner of his eye.

“Hey,” he said, clearing his throat. Even now, he was relieved to see you. He also felt like he was standing on unsteady ground.

“Hey, yourself,” you greeted back. You tried to smile, but your heart was in your stomach with nerves. “I need to tell you something.”

Sam seemed to realize what you wanted to talk about. He sighed.

“Look, don’t worry about it. Dean and I talked it out—”

“No. No, because I need to say this. Because you deserve to hear it from me,” you insisted.

You also paused, as you didn’t quite know where to go from here.

Sam’s brows furrowed, but he tried to be patient. He watched your gears turning as thought to thought shifted in your eyes. It was one of the things he loved most about you, how open and expressive you were. He could usually tell what you were thinking…except for today. And the past few weeks.

That was what had him more nervous than he’d like to admit. If a blow was coming, he’d really like to be prepared…but he just couldn’t fucking tell.

Until you began speaking.

“Okay, first of all. Nothing happened,” you assured. You rested your hands on Sam’s shoulders. He looked up into your eyes, but before he could even nod in response, you kept going.

“Dean was drunk, and I wasn’t. Which probably won’t make you feel all that better, but the point is, all I did was ask him what’s wrong? And he didn’t want to tell me. But then I pushed the issue, as you know I do sometimes. I’m working on it, I really am.”

You levied a finger at Sam, at which he could only nod. Again, before he could offer a reply, you kept going.  

“Well, finally he was all, you sure you wanna know?” you said, mimicking Dean’s deeper voice. Sam was tempted to smile, if but for what you were actually saying, and the way your gaze averted from his.

“And there was a moment there when…I thought maybe he might try to…but he didn’t. The problem is, I didn’t say no,” you confessed. Your brows knitted as you revealed how disheartened you felt at that, how guilt-ridden.

Sam’s eyes softened a bit, even though your words stung.  

“I should’ve said it,” you knew. “I should’ve pulled away, but I didn’t. Though in my defense! I was in shock. He was saying shocking things without saying them, you know? And I don’t want to be in this cliché…teen drama-esque, love triangle bullshit! You’re not Edward and I’m not Bella and this isn’t goddamn Twilight. And I refuse to be treated as such.”

You were huffing and puffing by the end of your little rant. Your eyes widened a fraction when you caught Sam trying to stamp down a smile.

“Is this amusing to you?” you snapped.

“Not at all,” Sam said. He shook his head, and with a sigh, drew you back to him with his hands on your hips. You stood between his open legs and grasped the front of his shirt.

“Look, thank you for telling me,” he said. “I know that we kind of rushed this a little. The moving in thing, I mean. It just…it felt right, at the time.”

“Yeah, I was kinda there for that,” you quipped. Your smile made him smile in return.

“Well, I guess I just need to ask you…if it still feels right,” he said.

He looked up into your eyes, still not quite sure what he would find. His heart was in his throat, no matter how many times he cleared it. He was good at looking calm when he wasn’t, and maybe his face was composed, but inside him was a tempest.

You calmed it with one touch. A gentle hand on his chest.

“Sam,” you said. Your smile was beautiful and warm. “After you left Stanford. After what happened to Jess…I didn’t know that her funeral was the last time I was ever going to see you.”

Despite that melancholy memory, your lips soon curved into a grin.

“Well, not for a long time anyway.” You both lightened at that.

Then you became more contemplative. Your gaze wandered beyond him for a moment, lost in the past.

Sam’s hands moved up to your waist and squeezed gently. You came back to him with a brighter expression.

“But when I saw you again, I thought…damn, he’s amazing,” you said with a giggle. “Even more amazing then when I knew him.”

Sam looked down at that, despite his smile. You picked him back up with your hand on his cheek. It was overgrown with stubble, a week or so past when he'd usually shave.

You didn't mind the scratchiness, but you wondered if you'd been distracting him too with your indecision. That thought made you feel all the more guilty.

“I still think that when I see you. Get to wake up next to you, research mythology and symbology and dead languages, and other things that should be impossible,” you said. “So yes, it still feels right for me. Very much so.”

Sam’s more genuine smile lightened you. He nodded and let you tilt his head back, slipping your fingers through his hair. He liked the way you touched him freely, both reassuring and affectionate.

He didn't want to admit it, but he'd been quietly afraid. Afraid he'd read you wrong, that his heart had somehow lied to him. Now he knew that it rang true.

“Okay. Good,” he said. And he reached up to touch his lips to yours.

At least, it was a simple touch at first. It soon grew in passion, becoming a more claiming kiss. He pulled you in flush against him. A hand tangled into your hair, brushing against the back of your neck, and you hummed in delight.

Your hands sunk further into his hair, just as your mouth wordlessly claimed him back. His long fingers trailed down your back and made you shiver against him. You gave more and more of yourself with each kiss.

"I love you," you whispered against his lips. Because he deserved to hear that too.

Sam paused. His eyes were still closed as he recovered some of his breath. He rested his forehead against yours and brushed a tender hand down the soft column of your neck.

"I love you too," he admitted. He had resisted saying it, and even felt a bit ashamed that he'd doubted your feelings. Now, he felt like an idiot for not fighting harder before.

This, what he had with you, it was worth fighting for.

He smiled at the way you kissed his cheek then, soft and slow and with purpose.

After a moment, you pulled away to stroke his cheek once more…and also to tell him one last thing.

“When I saw you again, I did have another thought,” you said. “He’s amazing, but…how can I think that about my best friend’s boyfriend?”

Sam frowned then, as that reality had crossed his mind as well, back when he reconnected with you last year. You held a hand to your chest, over your heart.

“Jess was like a sister to me. So how could I think about you like that? It didn’t matter how much time had passed since her death. That thought, and those feelings still had weight, Sam,” you said. “My point is…try not to be too hard on your brother for this. I think he’d rather lob off an arm than cause you any pain.”

Sam considered your words with a nod.

“I’ll talk to him. Don’t worry,” he said.

“No, I…I’d like to talk to him, if you don’t mind,” you said. “That is, if you trust me.”

Sam’s brows rose, and then furrowed slightly.

“I do, baby,” he said. “You can talk to him if you want, but…I have to. He’s my brother. He should hear it from me too.”

No need, Dean couldn’t help but think.

He pushed off from the wall, twisting a wrench in his hand as he made his way back to the garage.

It stung. Actually, it fucking cut and twisted. More painfully than Dean would ever, ever admit.

However, he knew when he needed to bow out. This was one of those times.

He’d just have to learn how to let you go, for good this time. He wouldn’t risk hurting you, or his brother again.

So once he made it to the end of the hall, he shut the door, once and for all.

Or…

You didn’t want this, for either of them. You couldn’t let yourself be a coward.

Steeling yourself with a deep breath, you left the safety of the kitchen…

And you ducked out the back way, heading down the hall.

You found Dean exactly where you’d expected—in the garage, getting ready to work on his Baby. He was sitting on a stool with his box of tools beside him. Tools he didn’t let anyone touch (except for that one time you hid his power drill, just to mess with him).

You crossed your arms.

“We need to talk,” you said.

Dean sighed, and spied your stern face over his shoulder.

“What fucking now?” he muttered. You didn't quite hear him, but you recognized his surly frown.

“Yes, right now,” you said. “Why did you do it?”

“What?” Dean asked, raising incredulous brows. “Why?”

“Yeah, why.” You stepped up to him while he swiveled in your direction. “If you supposedly had feelings for me, why did you wait so damn long? Why did you wait until we got here?”

You weren’t just casually dating his brother. You were living with him. Even if it had just been a few months, you loved Sam…and yet, you hadn’t pushed Dean away when he almost kissed you.

Why, why, why? you thought. Your teeth ground together when you thought of how tenderly Dean had touched you. The fire in his eyes, just barely held back by a thin wall of self-restraint.

“Tell me no,” he’d said.

And now, annoyance made his face tight.

“Look, just forget about it, all right? I was drunk—”

“No. You weren’t that drunk,” you refuted. “I’ve seen you slaphappy, laughing at nothing, grinning like the Joker and falling onto the couch face-first, passed out drunk. You were coherent that night. You were honest. So tell me, how long have you felt this way?”

Dean tensed. He didn’t want to do this. You both knew that, but he also knew that you weren’t giving him much of a choice.

And yet, you were waiting on him, as patiently as you could manage (something he knew was difficult for you). He sighed deeply.

“Pretty much from the beginning,” he said.

“What?” you said, ever so eloquently. You wanted to cringe at yourself. (And you called yourself a linguist.)

Your lips pursed in disbelief. “What part of the beginning?”

Dean glared heavenward, as if that could stop you from asking questions.

“From the first damn second I saw you,” he snapped. The longer he looked at you, however, he couldn’t help but soften. “I remember, you argued with Sam about dead languages, that Latin was for pussies. Ancient Greek was the tougher beat.”

That was true, you thought. And that argument stemmed back from when you and Sam were in college. Ancient history, you could say.

“The Greeks were more fun too,” you added. It triggered a smile to briefly lighten Dean’s face.

“Yeah, you said something about mass orgies,” he said, his brows furrowing.

You bit your lip at the memory. You might’ve winked at Dean with more confidence than you’d felt at the time.

Now, the man shook his head.

“Right then, I wanted to know you,” he said. “Problem is, the more I did, the more I liked what I saw.”

You stared back at him in dismay.

“Why couldn’t you have just told me from the beginning?” you asked.

Dean made a sound of frustration, carding a hand roughly through his hair.

“Oh, and what, break up the show?” he snarked. He waved haphazardly beyond you, to the moose of a man somewhere beyond the closed doors of the garage. Remembering his brother made Dean’s irritation start to fade, back into self-deprecation.

“You and Sam…you’ve got history,” he said. “He’s smart. He takes care of you, protects you. He’s uh, more the boyfriend type, anyway.”

Dean looked away from you then, crossing his arms. You relaxed yours and couldn’t help but draw near to him. A frown took over your features as you tilted your head.

“Okay, Sam and I have history,” you said with a nod. “But…you don’t think you’re smart too?”

Dean’s lips pursed somewhat as he glanced back up at you. You met his stare.

“You don’t think you’re capable of all those other things?” you asked.

Dean didn’t have an answer for you. At least, not one he was willing to say.

For the past few weeks, you’d been fighting with yourself. You’d turned that moment in the kitchen over and over in your mind, and why you couldn’t do what you were supposed to do.

Now, looking at Dean’s face, you understood why your heart broke for him. Why your heart ached with ridiculous longing for him in equal measure.

You knew then that he’d take care of you. That he’d protect you. And maybe…

“Sam and I don’t make a habit of going after the same girl,” Dean said. Even that, it seemed, was difficult for him to get out.

It broke you from your thoughts, again with your frown.

“Yeah?” you asked. A bit of your temper sparked once again. “Is that why you’re making me Yoko Ono? I’ll tell you something right now. You’re not John and Sam’s not Paul and I refuse to break up the band, Dean!”

“No one’s asking you to!” Dean said, finally raising his voice to match you.

He got off his seat and stood to his full height. Though he wasn’t as tall as his brother, he still towered over you. You craned your head up to glare at him.

His green eyes were once again full of fire. You tried to resist it, but that look made a jolt of electricity zip down your spine, and between your legs.  

“Oh, really?” you retorted. “That’s what you want? For me to forget you didn’t shake me the hell up?”

“Yeah, I really fucking would,” Dean gritted out. Even though his heart leapt at your admission, that he’d shaken you up at all.

“Why?” you said. “If you claim to care about me, why would you—”

“Why would you?” he shot back. He gestured at you with a dismissive hand. “The second you saw him, it was like your face lit the hell up. I’m not gonna get in his way. And by the time the you two were together, I just…I didn’t think you…”

Dean cut himself off, turning from you to wipe a frustrated hand over his mouth.

You watched him very closely, all while you made efforts to take in some deep, even breaths. You followed him, and more tentatively, you grabbed onto his wrist to tug him back around.

“Why would I what, Dean? You didn’t think I’d what?” you all but pleaded. Your grip lowered and tightened on his hand.

“Just talk to me,” you said. “Because this is your one and only chance.”

He was reluctant. For once, you could see it written all over his face. Or maybe you were just getting better at reading him.

“It’s fine. I’ve made my peace with it,” said Dean.

Liar.

He shook his head and slipped his hand out of yours.

“At the end of the day, you saw him, not me,” he said. “So go back upstairs, and we’ll never have to talk about this again.”

Your frown deepened as he sat back down and tried to turn away from you. You were so goddamn mad. At yourself, or at him, you didn’t know what percentages of each.

So you closed the distance between you and Dean and turned him back around, with a firm hand on his shoulder. Even with that small touch, your insides fluttered at the firm muscle there, and the broadness of his frame when he let you move him. He blew out an exasperated breath.

You wavered just slightly, as you contemplated the confession you were about to make. It shamed you, but at the same time, you were woman enough to admit your mistakes.

“I did see you,” you said, meeting his eyes. “But Sam never hesitated to show me what he wanted. And maybe…maybe he was safer. Familiar, and less dangerous.”

Dean’s brows furrowed, incredulous and confused.

“What the hell are you talking about?” he asked.

You couldn’t fault him for it. Your hand eased on his shoulder.

“Dean, seeing Sam again was like getting my best friend back,” you told him. “Back in college, we were thick as thieves. Me and Jess, Sam and Brady. And when you two found me to help with that case, I wouldn’t have ever seen him as anything more than my friend…until he did something about it.”

Your gaze was pointed. Dean’s lips pursed.

“When I met you,” you continued, “it was like the Godfather ‘thunderbolt.’ When you flirted with me, I didn’t know what to do with myself…whereas with Sam, I could fall back on my old habits.”

Dean’s face knitted further, making you sigh.

“With Sam, I’m the person I was when he knew me. The me that never faltered. That had all my shit together,” you said. Your small smile then was self-deprecating at best.

You felt vulnerable. Dean could see it in the way you held yourself. It was costing you something to be this honest, and that meant something to him. His face might've been stoic, but he was hanging on your every word.

“With you…with you I can’t hide," you said. Your voice was softer, slightly trembling. "And that terrifies me, more than monsters.”

Looking into Dean’s eyes again, you found him actually listening. He seemed to be digesting your words, and trying to make sense of them. You reached for him, clenching a hand in his shirt.

“So what was it that you thought I wouldn’t do?” you asked.

Dean studied your face a moment longer. He hesitated.

But he couldn’t keep lying to you either. What you’d just said gave him hope that he wasn’t about to fall flat on his face here.

With a deep, defeated breath, he shook his head and leaned his elbows on his thighs.

“I just got to thinkin’…” he said. “Why would you give up what you’ve got with him, for me?”

You didn’t know quite what to feel when you looked down at him. Disheartened, sympathetic, annoyed…but most of all, you felt your heart clench.

Your hands framing Dean’s face brought his eyes back to yours. You stepped in between his open legs.

“I’m going to try something. Just once,” you said, biting your lip. “And if it doesn’t work, we won’t speak of this again. Understand?”

A true smile finally twitched at the corner of his mouth.

“All right,” he agreed. You nodded.

Slowly, ever slowly, you leaned down and brushed your lips with his. It was chaste and sweet. Your hands were soft curving along his jawline. His hands found their way to your waist, molding to your shape. That steadied you, and encouraged you to dive back in.

You tilted your head and kissed him a bit deeper. He held you more securely against him, like he was afraid you were going to think better of this and pull away from him.

But you didn’t. His lips were soft and supple and knew how to move against yours. He soon guided you down for a seat on his strong thighs, even though the stool he was sitting on creaked at the added weight.

Then his tongue begged entrance past your lips. If this was his one chance, then damn it, he was going to make the most out of it.

You let him in with a moan. Your fingers tangled in his short hair, your nails dragging down the back of his neck and making a tendril of heat run down his spine. He squeezed your hips, down your thighs, while his lips continued to ravage yours.

It was one hell of a kiss.

But it wasn’t just lust either. At least, not for you. It was warmth, and an overwhelming feeling being right where you were always meant to be.

For Dean, it felt like a craving he wasn't meant to indulge in...but even so, having you in his arms felt as natural as he feared it would be. He didn't just want you. He wanted this. Today, and every day.

When his lips finally dragged away from yours, it took you a moment before you could even open your eyes, let alone catch your breath.

“Damn it,” you whispered.

Dean chuckled, and pulled back just far enough to graze your cheek with his curled fingers.

“Guess I’ll take that as a compliment,” he said. You smiled, but it soon fell.

“Oh God, Dean. What’re we gonna do?” you asked. Already there were tears stinging in your eyes. And still, you held him back with your arms curled around his neck. “I don’t want to hurt him.”

Dean’s relief, and a hidden swell of happiness, also dimmed. “That ship’s sailed, sweetheart."

You sniffed, wiping at your face. “Don’t joke right now, please.”

“I’m not joking,” he said. He held you a fraction tighter. His deep voice rumbled, with desire, longing, and remorse all at once. “I’m actually serious beyond fucking belief.”

You saw everything you needed to see in his eyes. It gave you the strength to be honest.

“So am I,” you nodded, sniffling again. “I’ll talk to him.”

Dean shook his head. “He’s my brother. I’ll do it.”

You stroked his cheek, feeling the rasp of stubble against your fingers.

“Together, then,” you compromised.

And with an unsettled breath, you reluctantly detangled yourself from Dean. Before this went any further, you needed to talk to Sam. It was easily one of the hardest things you’d ever contemplated doing in your life.

Dean seemed to have similar thoughts as he let you up, then stood along with you. He dragged a hand through his hair again and heaved a sigh.

“It’s not gonna be easy,” he said. His brows drew together as he considered every alternative reaction his brother might have. None of them were pretty.

You rested a hand on his arm.

“Look, Dean. If we’re going to do this…if I need to leave the bunker, I will. I’ll do whatever it takes to make this work, as long as you’re in this with me,” you said.

Both your gaze and your will were unwavering. Dean didn’t doubt that you meant every word; that you were willing to jump into the fire with him. And that was just a small fraction of what had made him fall in love with you.

He took your hand, and pressed a lingering kiss to the inside of your wrist.

“I’m with you,” he replied.  

AN: So while it was painful to contemplate both of these scenarios, I hope I did them justice! 🥲

Which ending was your favorite: Sam, or Dean? 😘

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#Choosing Him #choose your ending #dean in love with sams girlfriend #unrequited love? #dean winchester imagine #dean winchester #sam winchester imagine #sam winchester #sam and dean #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x female reader #dean winchester x you #spn #supernatural #sam winchester x reader #sam winchester x you #sam winchester x female reader #angst #hurt/comfort #dean gives you an impossible choice sequel #zepskies writes

[shaydeoffical]

Demon Slayer x Plus Size Fem!Reader: Clubbing AU

Intro: It’s Friday night and classes are out for the weekend. (Y/n) and her friends are hitting the club and confessing their deepest feelings for each other. Join (Y/n) as she navigates her feelings, body, and drunkenness on a night that could change her life.

Tags: Partying, Confessions, Chubby body, Chubby reader, Fat Reader, Plus Size Reader, Demon Slayer AU, Happy Endings, Giyuu, Shinobu, Genya, Kyojuro Rengoku. 

Warnings: Drunkenness, alcohol, body image, creeps at the bar.

Notes: Big thanks to @the-secret-thief​ and @heartfeltcierra​ for helping me edit and encouraging me to post again! I hope you all love the new story. 

Start Here   

        “You’re shaking, are you nervous or excited?” Shinobu winged my eyeliner, her hand resting on my stomach as she balanced the liner on both sides. The bathroom in Giyu and Tanjiro’s home had terrible lighting, so Shinobu was inches from my face, pressing me closer to the light over the sink.      

        “Both?” My breath hitches in my throat, my white knuckles gripping the sink counter harder as Shinobu and Mitsuri giggle.

        “Don’t be so worried.” Mitsuri played with the hem of her skirt. “You guys are going to have an awesome road trip.”

        “I haven’t left campus except to come here, or visit home. Plus, you can’t predict how things will go at a new club.” Flashes of my cousin’s recording me on my twenty-first birthday, roll through my mind. I suck my stomach in, taking a deep breath before laughing. “God, I’m really killing the vibe. I’m sorry.”

        “No, you’re just expressing what we all are thinking.” Kanae slips into the room, and it takes everything to keep my lips off the floor. She’s in a skin-tight lilac sleeveless dress, with a sheer butterfly shawl over top.

        “Wow.” Mitsuri studies the glitter in her eyes and the highlight on her cheek. She had graduated from college last year and was working on her master’s degree, so she still liked to go out with us. “You’re stunning.”

        “Thank you. You all look amazing.” Kanae winked at me, and I was frozen to my spot long enough for Shinobu to finish.

        “There, beautiful.” Shinobu’s eyes never left mine, she ran her hands down my dress. It was a pink dress covered in hearts, Mitsuri had made it a point that we needed to match. While hers was loose and billowed around her body, mine was a little too big at the chest, and tight in the arms. But the fabric was forgiving, and she was so happy for us to match and I was just so happy to support a brand with a wide size range….

        “You’re spacing out.” Shinobu pulled me off the sink and made me spin. “I know you love to dance, you’re going to have fun.”

        “Why are we partying before a road trip?” I groaned hearing bass start to pound from outside… Kyojuro was defiantly waiting for us.

        “Because it’s ladies' night.” Kanae smiled, wiggling her finger back and forth. We filed out of the washroom, and down the steps to the living room. The house was clean and simple, like a crisp spring in the morning. Their Uncle Uro had let them stay here during school. He was a teacher for the remote students, so he stayed in his office more often than not. That’s considering how often he was away at conferences, like tonight.  

        “Wow.” Tanjiro’s smile widened. “You all look lovely.” Kanao was beside him on the sofa, the two surrounded by books and loose papers.

        “Be safe tonight,” Kanao whispered, turning back to her notes quickly.

        “We will. Giyu will be looking after us.” I teased as the dark-haired man emerged from the downstairs bathroom. He was wearing a button-up, with all the buttons latched as they should, and a pair of black slacks.

        “Of course.” He tinged red, and the front door opened, all our focus going to Kyojuro and Obanai.

        “Hey, guys.” Mitsuri doesn’t miss a beat greeting the other half of the group. Now we were just missing-

        “Oi, why are y’all so slow?” Sanemi bellowed from his car, laying on the horn. The only one not cringing was Kyo, who was way too focused on, me.

        “Hey! We’re coming alright.” Shinobu growled, grabbing my arm and pulling me along. “We’re riding with Kyo, right?”

        “Yeah.” I barely slipped my shoes on and clasped Kyojuro’s hand to have him follow along.

        “(Y/N), you look amazing.” He didn’t need to be dragged, as he lopped arms with me and kept pace with Shinobu.

        “Alright, here we go.” I laughed as they rushed to the red SUV. “Thank you Kyo, I feel good.” He smiled, and even in the dark the way his eyes crinkled made my heart race.

        “Dibs on the back!” Shinobu opened the back door and tucked me inside like a cop, holding my head and everything. While she was studying medicine like Kanae, she might have had an affinity for criminal justice. She wasn’t strong, but she knew how to command a room and stay calm in a hard situation. Like the time we had to dissect a frog and it started to move….she might have quickly poisoned it, but it was quick and painless.

        After more of a ruckus, everyone was in their cars and on their way to the club. Kyo looked back before we took off, he reached back and rubbed my knee and I swatted at his hand. “Kyo.” The smile that spread on my face was infectious as he grinned back at me.

        “Ach hem.” Giyu had crawled into the front seat and was feeling infected with a smile. “Let’s follow Sanemi before he leaves us in the dust.”

        “Is Genya coming this time?” Shinobu hummed, holding my hand and encouraging me to relax back into the seat.

        “I think so.” Kyo then nodded. “I see his mohawk in the back seat.”

        “They put him between Mitsuri and Obanai, how cruel.” I sighed, Kyo passing back a bottle of rum…my favorite brand.

        “He’s abrasive.” Shinobu opens the bottle and then hands it to me. I take a long swig, and she follows suit. “But, I was the younger sister tagging along when I turned twenty-one. It’s a rite of passage.”

        “I suppose.” I take another drink and pass the bottle to Giyu who takes a quick sniff of the bottle before taking a smooth gulp.  

        “Good choice Kyo. Did you pick it with someone in mind?” Giyu pointed his head back at me, and I nervously laughed, shrinking into Shinobu. It had been our pre-game choice since I mentioned liking it last year. There was no reason to call Kyo out now. I thought Kyojuro would deny it or make an offhand comment, but he didn’t.

        “Why yes. (Y/N).” Kyo grins, shifting his car to the next gear. My heart was already racing, but now it was flying.

        “So, Sanemi and Kyo are the designated drivers tonight.” I could feel heat settle on my cheeks, and a sense of weightlessness hit my limbs. Oh, to dream.

        “Yup, they are.” Shinobu was still cuddled next to me, nuzzling her head on mine, our hair was gathering static and handing straight up, so I smoothed it.

        “It’s not me for once.” Giyu could have been described as bitter at this moment, but the truth was he didn’t trust just anyone to D.D. Especially if I was volunteering. He really didn’t trust my driving and with good reason. Drunk or not, I tuckered myself out way too easily at the club and was always super sleepy at the end. Kyo verged on the same, but he knew when to hold back.    

        “We’re here.” Kyo parks, and we tuck the bottle under the back seat and hop out of the car.

        “(Y/N)! Save me!” Mitsuri ran into my arms. I caught her with a slight wobble to my steps, thankfully Giyu was behind me and gave me a boost forward.

        “What’s wrong?” I pet her hair. Most of the group went on to buy our wristbands. “Did someone hurt you?”

        Kanae stayed back and whispered in my ear. “Genya ignored her and started to growl. So, she’s a little worked up.”

        “He’s going to pay.” Obanai was muttering to himself, and I couldn’t help but think that Mitsuri might not be the only one needing saving tonight.

        “Let’s get inside. How about that?” I offered.

        “Yeah. Let’s have some fun?” Kanae was my backup, grabbing Obanai and following behind me as we got to the front.

        The bouncer looked at my I.D. and then huffed. “You clean up nice.” He smirked, putting a band around my wrist.

        “Um, thank you.” I looked into the club, mist scattered across the floor, and as expected, there were ladies in large amounts.

        “(Y/N)! Over here.” Kyojuro waved me to the dance floor, a drink in his hand.

        “On my way,” I called back to him. There was a large dance floor, with plenty of flashing lights and cool patterns to make me dizzy. But first, I needed to set my purse down with the losers who wouldn’t dance.

        “There you guys are. Gosh, what took so long.” Genya was the one complaining this time. Sanemi and Kanae were sneaking off to make out, no doubt. Those two didn’t seem compatible, but there they were, just behind the speaker swapping more than secrets. “What are you staring at?” Genya took over my vision, and I yelped stepping back. Why was he so close, and why did he smell so good?  

        “Nothing.” I shivered, rubbing my mostly bare arms…fuck cap sleeves.  

        “Here.” He shoved a bottle into my hand. “I got this for you.”

        I looked closer and it was a wine cooler, in my favorite flavor. How did he know? “Thank you Genya, this was very sweet.” I reminded myself he was still learning how to act in adult spaces…and it’s not like he had a solid role model in Sanemi.

        “Will you, drink one with me?” he held up another cooler and uncapped it.

        “Of course.” I break the seal on mine and undo the lid. “To tonight.”

        “To tonight.” He nodded and we both downed the drink. While we should have been doing shots, this was cute. He was so sweet, and I’d go as far as to say thoughtfully. While I trusted him, he still left it sealed…

        “(Y/N)! Come dance with us.” Shinobu was dancing with Kyojuro, pulling me towards her like a rope. Giyu was standing close by as my bodyguard, as usual.

        “Come on, let’s dance Genya.” I tugged him with me and got to the dance floor.

        “I can’t dance.” He whispered.

        “Well, just watch us for a minute, and bob to the music,” I instructed, joining my favorite people.

        The song changed, it was just words at first, then the beat slowly started to build up, with each new sound, I added a movement. Starting with my hips, working up my arms to my head, and back to my legs. Without noticing, I fully submerged myself into the music, my eyes shut tight, but I could see everything I needed to.

        “Those hips don’t lie,” Kyojuro whispered in my ear, breaking my concentration long enough to get behind me and bump a stranger from joining us.

        “No, they don’t.” I see Giyu had also turned away a few people from our group. I see Shinobu was still dancing with us, and Genya had loosened up a little and was using his arms and hips to dance.

        Another song comes on, and we kept dancing, and drinking our collective body weight in rum. Soon Obanai and Mitsuri pulled us off the dance floor to do some test-tube shots. I was more than ready for another round of shots.

        “I have an idea before we just take these.” Mitsuri put the bottom between her lips and balanced it. “We Ta-E iT li-E T-is.” She grabbed Obanai and kneeled In Front of him and lined up the tube to his lips, before pushing him down and letting him swallow it whole.    

        “No way.” Genya walked away.

        “I wanna! (Y/N), do me.” Shinobu offered me the vile, her hand lingering on mine.

        “No, me.” Mitsuri volunteered.

        “Huh, she isn’t doing anyone but me.” Genya turned around, puffing out his chest.

        “How about she do Giyu?” Obanai licked his lips. “ I can do you.” He looked at Mitsuri with narrowed eyes that kept daring the rest of us to offer to sensually pour booze down her throat.

        “(Y/n), who do you want to do your shot?” Kanae snuck up behind me, laughing as I stiffened.

        “Uhhh?”

#x plus size reader #demon slayer x y/n #demon slayer #giyuu tomioka #kny shinobu #demon slayer genya #rengoku kyojuro #plus size reader #party au #club au #fanfcition #story #choose your ending

[realityescapee01]

Sidelines

Jay Halstead x Reader | Kelly Severide x Reader

choose your ending

(yes, check it out at the end of this)

Long time crush. One-sided love. Admiring from afar. Everything Y/N is very familiar with. With Jay Halstead.

But Y/N isn't admiring from afar, her and Jay are friends, so she gets to be close to Jay. See him. See everything that happens to him. See everything that Jay is going through and had gone through. And she was there through it all.

It's been years and she's contemplating if she'd

1. let it go, forget about Jay and start dating someone else... or

2. finally confess, ask Jay for a date and hope for the best... or

3. get drunk, confess, maybe sneak a kiss in and then run away into another state, get a new phone number, a new identity, and hide for all eternity.

Y/N revved up the engine of Jay's car, ready to drive him home. Jay had just drank himself to oblivion at Molly's. She was with him to look after him. She knew. Erin just left. Or rather disappeared, without a word. Nothing at all.

So Jay is left, nursing his broken heart and soul. And Y/N is there, again, after so many breakups of Jay from previous relationships.

"Jay, don't make this any harder for me." -Y/N reached over as she closed the door again. Jay attempted to get out of the car. "I have an early shift tomorrow, I don't wanna get bad with Shay."

"Is it good in ambo? Maybe I should just change careers." -Jay let out a drunk hiccup.

"Jay, I don't think this is the time for you to be making decisions."

Y/N drove to Jay's apartment and helped the younger Halstead in. She walked him to his bed, pushed him onto it and took his shoes and jacket off. It's all familiar now, Y/N has done this too many times.

"Goodnight, Jay." -Y/N say before leaving.

The next morning, Y/N was late. And Shay called her out on it.

Kelly Severide was looking at them talk by the ambo for a bit and he knows the reason why Y/N was late. He was at Molly's last night too.

She's best friends with Shay and good friends with Kelly. She's close enough to the two to the point of her telling them about her feelings for Jay. They'd go out sometimes, just the three of them and Y/N would burst out of her emotions whenever they get too strong to hide from Jay. She'd flee to the two and ask a lot of questions.

Questions of why? Why is she still inlove with Jay after all these years -years of Jay showing no interest in her other than being close friends.

And every time, Shay and Kelly would tell her she did nothing wrong and that she shouldn't beat herself about it. And even told her to come clean to Jay.

To which Y/N would say: she is not Jay's type. She knows well what Jay likes. And it's not her. Because if it is, they would've been dating by now.

"10 minutes late, huh." -Shay

"Sorry."

"You know what, why don't I set you up with someone else, Jay is too busy with himself to notice someone amazing just right beside him."

"I'm open!" -Kelly chimes in from the squad table.

The two gave him a side eye.

"What? Come on!"

Shay replied to Kelly with something witty or whatever Y/N couldn't comprehend because her phone rang and it was Kim Burgess. Asking where Jay is, he hasn't come in yet.

"What? I'll look into it." -Y/N hang up. "Shay, can we, you know, just a few minutes."

"For the... what, hundred ninety ninth time?"

"Pretty please."

"...Fine."

They took the ambo and drove to Jay's apartment. And there Y/N saw Jay still asleep and seemingly having a nightmare. She woke him up and Jay almost punched her solid to the floor.

It's instincts for Jay by now whenever he wakes from a nightmare, be aggressive, fighting off his attacker.

Y/N was startled and sat to the floor. She dodged the punch a little bit but still got hit. She knows about it, she had woken Jay a lot of times like that before. But right now, she was sluggish from sleeping late and didn't dodge it completely.

Jay realized and apologized furiously.

"Oh, shit! Y/N, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." -Jay helping her out, looking at the reddish color of her cheek where his punch hit.

"It's okay. Get to work! Kim called she said she's out there without a partner." -Y/N tidied her clothes and walked out.

"Whoa! What happened?!?" -Shay saw her bruise.

"Oh, awoken from a nightmare. It happens. I dodged it most of the time but now I'm sluggish so it hit."

"Damn. Come here let me look at that."

"Let's look at it at when we get back to the firehouse."

Shay drove them back just in time Chief Boden got in from a meeting. They stayed on the back of the ambo, Shay tending to Y/N's bruised cheek.

"Hey, what happened?" -Kelly sat beside Y/N. Sounding really worried.

"Jay." -Shay side commented.

"What?!?" -Kelly was angry.

"Wait wait! It's not like that!" -Y/N explained.

"You know what, I think it's time you stop waiting on Jay." -Kelly touched Y/N's cheek ever so gently.

"It's not his fault. I already told you." -Y/N defended Jay again.

Y/N waited for Kelly to take his hand off but he didn't. Kelly was touching her cheek, his hand felt warm, and his eyes locked deeply with hers.

'Uhm...wait, this is-' -Y/N thought to herself, she didn't get to finish the thought as she felt a blush creeping to her cheeks.

And then Y/N's phone lit up. It's Jay, calling. Y/N stood up, -and in the process- got away from Kelly.

-Hey, I'm outside.-

-Okay, wait.- Y/N hung up the call and stepped outside.

There she saw Jay, leaning on his car with a paperbag of food from Y/N's favorite place.

"Hey, I'm sorry about this morning. Peace offering." -Jay smiled as he handed over the food.

"Well, if this is a sushi platter..." Y/N peeked inside the bag, "...and it is a platter, okay. Peace offering accepted."

She smiled at Jay.

"Oh, but this is for the apology, what about a thank you for last night? Driving you home? the princess that you are." -Y/N was feeling playful. She was just joking.

"Oh, I haven't forgotten." -Jay takes out a chocolate bar. "That's for thank you."

Y/N laughed as she accepted it.

The firehouse alarm sounded off.

"Oh, I have to go, Jay."

"Yeah. Y/N, really, I'm so sorry. And thank you so much."

"Yeah."

Y/N jogged back to the firehouse.

"And that is why our dear friend Y/N, couldn't move on from Jay. He's sweet like that." -Shay saying as she took the chocolate from Y/N.

"Hey!" -Y/N was smiling ear to ear as she got into the ambo.

Kelly let out a sigh as he jogged into the truck. Ambo, squad and truck were called out.

The day passed as usual. And night came, Y/N went to Molly's with Kelly and Shay. Otis decided to try a dance night, to which Hermann was not particularly happy about, but still went on with.

The three of them were dancing. Having a great time. Jay wasn't around, he did mention they are working a case overtime.

Through the crowd, Shay paired up with a chick and stepped away from Y/N and Kelly. The two remained paired up and dancing.

Dancing real close to each other. Y/N normally doesn't get too close to Kelly but right now, she is. Their bodies are flushed to each other so close that Y/N could feel how fit Kelly is underneath the layers of jacket and shirt. Close. Too close. Maybe the alcohol also took away the inhibitions.

Y/N looked up at Kelly and the lieutenant was already staring at her. Those beautiful eyes. A color deep, somewhat a mix of blue and green. Y/N knows Kelly is popular with the ladies, looking good and all. But she refrains from looking at Kelly that way because of her friendship with Shay.

But Shay is not here right now. And Kelly's body feels so warm, so close, Y/N swore there legs were already crossing with each other. Kelly felt so warm, and big around Y/N right then, like he is shielding Y/N from the world, and Y/N felt safe in there.

They kept dancing and rubbing up on each other, until Kelly started closing in on Y/N's lips. Kelly kissed her. A quick smack on the lips.

Y/N was startled. She just froze and stared at Kelly, who was already gunning for a second kiss. And a third. And a fourth. The fourth was quite longer.

"Whoa!" -Shay came back.

Y/N and Kelly broke apart.

"Uh-huh. Okay, if you two decided to date and you fought, don't come to me, I can't choose sides." -and then Shay disappeared again with a different chick this time.

"K-Kelly, what is-why?" -Y/N asked, still confused.

"I like you." -Kelly confessed.

"W-What???"

"Yeah, I do. I just-"

Y/N's phone rang. It's Will Halstead. Telling her Jay is in Med, shot.

"Oh my god! I gotta go, Kelly."

"Yeah." -Kelly was disappointed, he knows, it's probably Jay again. He stepped away from all the dancing people and sat himself at the bar.

+++

Jay is stable now, sleeping in one of the emergency bays in Med. Y/N stayed beside Jay, holding his hand. Will explained the gunshot wound wasn't that bad, but given the state Jay was these past days -drinking, not enough nutritious food and sleep- made it worse than it was.

"Jay... I love you, Jay." -Y/N whispered. She wasn't sure if to Jay or to herself. She just said it. She just muttered it out. Low and quiet.

But not low and quiet enough.

"Uhm..." -Will just stepped in to check on Jay.

"W-Will?!? Uhm, did you- did you hear?"

"Yup."

"Please, don't tell him. Anyone." -Y/N stood and walked closer to Will.

"Okay. You know, it's a mystery to me why you guys aren't dating. For years."

"Just... don't tell him. Please." -Y/N was panicking a little.

"Jay... Jay's not really good at seeing something good even if it's in front of him already."

"I'm not his type, Will."

"What're you saying? You get along really really well."

"It just doesn't... Please, keep quiet, okay? Promise me?"

"Okay. Okay." -Will has his hands up. "Anyways, you could go, I'll look after Jay."

"Alright."

Y/N looked at Jay one last time before heading out.

+++

Y/N keeps visiting Jay until he's put for recovery at home. Today is Jay's day to get discharged. And timing that Y/N and Shay responded to an emergency and had brought the patient to Med.

Y/N was smiling because he could see Jay too... with Hailey.

It looks like Hailey picked him up. Even helping him get his jacket on.

"Who's that? New girlfriend?" -Shay to Y/N

"No, his partner at Intelligence." -Y/N said without looking away.

"Ha. Okay. Let's go say hi." -Shay pulled Y/N with her.

"No, nevermind. Let's go get resupplied." -Y/N pulled Shay back into the supplies area, staying there until Jay and Hailey left.

Y/N knows. She saw that look in Jay again. The look of: the girl is not his girlfriend yet, but could be. Y/N was so familiar by now.

Before Y/N and Shay could leave, Will stopped Y/N by the hand.

"Hey, Jay checked out. Why aren't you the one picking him up?"

"I am on duty and there's Hailey." -Y/N smiled, just a tight straight line of smile.

"Oh... uhm, hey, I'm working a little late today. Could you make sure Jay eats? Healthy food type and not just alcohol?"

Y/N was staring at Will, the older Halstead was trying to push them together. Will did say that if he could choose someone for Jay, he would choose Y/N.

"...Okay."

"Here. Buy me some too. I'd go to his apartment to oversee his recovery."

"Fine by me." -Y/N took the money for food later.

Shay and her left after that.

And that night, as promised to Will, Y/N dropped by at Jay's, with food for 3.

"Y/N, hey."

"Uh-huh. Yup." -Y/N stepped in, eyeing the bottle of beer in Jay's hand. "Food. And fresh juice." Y/N set the food on the table.

"Thanks. I'm just numbing the pain down a bit."

Y/N and Jay ate as they watched TV. Y/N assisted Jay whenever he couldn't do something because he is in an arm sling.

"Y/N, thanks a lot. But it's getting late, I would drive you if I could."

"Nah, just rest up. Will says he's coming here."

Jay went to bed and Y/N stepped out. She doesn't wanna go home yet so she went to Molly's.

+++

She was greeted by familiar people. Hermann being the sweetest of all to her.

"Kiddo, how's Jay?"

"Out now. He's recovering at home."

"Here. On the house." -Hermann slid a bottle of beer.

"Aww, thanks so much, Hermann."

"Do I get one too?" -Kelly sat next to Y/N

"Nah, you pay, Severide." -Hermann placed a bottle of beer too in front of Kelly before leaving the two.

"Hey, Y/N."

"Hey, Kelly." -Y/N said as she took a long sip of beer.

Kelly asked how Jay is. And then how Y/N is. Telling her not to forget about herself. It's been years since she had someone, to love, and love her. And take care of her.

Y/N felt sad at that. Kelly is right. She never dated anyone for years. Just at the side of Jay, looking after him.

Kelly cupped her cheek with his palm and kissed her. She refused the second kiss.

"Kelly, I just... not right now. I'm sorry."

Kelly let go and smiled. "Jay's a lucky guy. You're loyal to him even if you aren't together. But Y/N, I'm serious. I like you. A lot. I just don't come up to you because I know about Jay. But it's been a long time, I want you to be happy. And I can do that for you."

Y/N stared at Severide. Just stared. Not talking. She felt confused. She can't straight right now.

"Kelly, I'm sorry. I've had a long day and I can't think straight."

"I understand. I'll drive you home."

"Kelly."

"Come on. There's no way I'm letting you go alone this late." -Kelly has his keys out by then.

"...Okay."

Walking to Severide's car, Y/N was thinking.

+++

The days went on, Y/N helped Jay in recovery. And at work, Y/N had a close call.

There was a house fire. There are people stuck inside. On the third floor there was an old lady in need of rescuing. She hurt herself bad a d needed to be put into a c-collar and backboard.

The truck and squad was on it. They have the ladder ready up there. Y/N went up to secure the patient. Severide and Cruz was able to get the patient out to the ladder. Cruz went down with it.

Then a part of the ceiling came apart and fell on Y/N, knocking her unconscious. Kelly beat himself up from not being able to push Y/N out of the way in time. He ran to Y/N, trying ot wake her up.

But their time is dwindling, the re isn't enough vent. Severide knows it's gonna blow.

"Y/N hold on, I got you!" -Kelly secured Y/N against him and prepared to jump out. There wasn't enough time for the ladder to get them.

Kelly jumped through the window just in time for the blast.

"Severide!!!" "Oh my god!!!"

Falling to the ground, making sure he landed first on the ground, cradling Y/N as safe as possible.

The firefighters rushed to them. They are both out. Ambo worked fast to get them to Med.

"Y/N? What happened?" -Will was one attending. "Severide too?"

"I got Y/N, you take Severide." -Dr. Rhodes worked fast.

After a few hours, good news were given out. As a miracle as it is, both are stable and suffered only minimal damages. Thanks to Severide breaking and taking most of the fall.

Severide woke up and was immediately sitting up.

"Hey hey hey! Stop, Severide." -Casey was there by him.

"Y/N? What happened?"

"She's stable. No serious damage at all."

"Where is she?" -Trying to stand up.

"Whoa! Hey. Slow down... by the way, you are okay too. No serious damage as well, not that you care right now, hey!"

Kelly was half way out of the bed by now. "I fucked up, Casey. I didn't see it falling. This is my fault. I should've taken care of her up there."

"Get back to bed, Severide."

"No, I gotta see her. Take me to Y/N, Casey!"

"Okay, okay. Slow down."

Casey assisted Kelly to Y/N's room. Y/N had just woken up.

"Hey there." -Casey caught her attention.

"Casey... Kelly, hey."

"How are you?" -Kelly sat beside.

"I'm... there are pains but I'm good. You? Why are you up? Shay filled me in. I passed out she said. Then we jumped out. You taking most of the fall. Thank you."

"No, I failed actually. You shouldn't have been knocked out by that ceiling in the first place."

"No, you saved me. Thank you."

Kelly was teary eyed as he rubbed Y/N's hand with his own.

"Knock knock." -Shay was at the door. "Oh god, I'm so glad you're both okay. And you." Shay poked Kelly's arm. "That was pretty stupid but awesome. But please, do that again."

"Yeah yeah." -Kelly took his hand off Y/N's to hug Shay.

They were talking a while when there came another knock from the door.

"Oh." -Shay. "Hi, Jay."

"Hey. Uhm, Y/N, hey." -Jay stepped into the room.

"Oh, getting crowded in here." -Shay stepped out, pulling Casey with her.

Kelly was just quiet, looking at Jay.

Jay looked back at him too. "Severide." Jay nodded. "I heard what you did for Y/N. That was amazing. Thanks, man."

"Of course."

Y/N felt a little anxious. Jay, the guy she's been pining for for years and Kelly, the guy who likes her and turned out to be pining for her for while now, are in the same room as her right now.

And Y/N could feel the tension from Kelly. She just wasn't sure if Jay feels it.

"Y/N. Hey, how are you holding up?" -Jay asked her. His voice was hoarse but gentle.

"I'm good now."

Kelly observed and decided to leave the two. He doesn't wanna stress Y/N out.

"Sorry, I came late. We were in a bust. What'd the doctors say?"

"They say no serious damage."

"That's good. That's good." -Jay patter her shoulders gently.

Jay stayed a while.

A few days after, Y/N recovered with Kelly and Jay visiting her most days.

As a celebration for her recovery, firehouse 51 setup Molly's for her. Free drinks for her and Kelly's escape from death. Jay sat with the three of them.

Y/N excused herself to go to the restroom. When she's near it, she looked back at their table. She looked at Jay. Jay almost died a few weeks back and now she almost died a few days after that. She looked at Kelly as well. Kelly was there through everything too for her. Almost died with her.

Y/N knows there has to be a decision made. And she has to make it soon. Too much time passed and she doesn't know if she'd escape a close call in duty again. Or if Jay would. Or if Kelly would.

a/n: there are alternate endings to this. The next chapters says it on the title. You choose which ending you want by skipping to that chapter. :)

and I can only do that in AO3. Here is the link:

continue here

-+-+ (head to your chosen ending) +-+-

and I can only do that in AO3. Here is the link:

continue here

thank you. more on my master list here

I have an AO3 account here

Like the gifs used here? See source under them. Reblog, do not repost. Thank you all gif creators here ♥️

#jay halstead x reader #jay halstead x you #jay halstead #kelly severide #a love triangle #could be #maybe #imagine #chicago pd #one chicago #choose your ending

[wysteriaz-blog]

Two Worlds Collided & They Could Never Tear Us Apart

Chapter 14: Ready or Not

Tensions rise as you start to fall into a dark hole, feeling afraid and lost for the uncertainty of the future, preventing you from seeing the light. Can you find your way with the help from your friend's and everyone else, or will you continue to push them away in fear and fall even deeper into the darkness?

Or read the series on Ao3 / Wattpad!

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A month and a half has gone by since you started your lessons with Uzui, and while you still are nowhere close to mastering the language, you have gotten a lot better. Your vocabulary and comprehension skills have expanded, so you are able to understand people a little more than before, as well as speak more fluently—even if it's still pretty basic sentences. If you start struggling, you just switch between the languages and substitute words. The boys have also learned some English from you, as they often hear you say certain things, especially when you're mad. And your anger is usually directed at Uzui, as he was insufferable at times. You knew he was a trouble-maker from the start, but you didn't realize just how bad until he started teaching you and you had to spend so much time around him!

He's always instigating things, whether it be with you alone, or your poor friends. And today he had left you alone in favor of tormenting poor Zenitsu...

"Hey, shrimpy, have you asked the girl out yet?"

Zenitsu tenses up and avoids looking at the man, choosing to ignore him and walk away.

'Just keep walking... it isn't worth it, it isn't worth it, it isn't worth it!'

He's been targeted by Uzui ever since the Hashira found out he liked you and he was slowly being driven insane. The man keeps pestering him about you and if he's made a move yet—which he hasn't. Zenitsu has been able to hold back on showing his affections for you, which even surprises himself, so he isn't sure if you even know that he really likes you as more than a friend. You might have taken his flirting and other gestures as him just being friendly or joking before, but since then he's realized he truly likes you and is serious about pursuing you!

So, surely, you don't think he's just messing around still... right? You see him and notice his efforts... right? Maybe not... because as mentioned before, he's held himself back quite a lot in expressing himself to you—with words and actions—that go past just friendly.

Ahh, he's totally screwing himself over!

Tengen mock sighs, "I'll take that as a no, then. Like I said before, you better hurry it up before someone else comes by and catches her attention."

Zenitsu's eye twitches as he abruptly stops and spins around. "What do you know, huh? You think there's someone I need to look out for?"

"I'm just saying! But, since you asked—and you didn't hear this from me—I heard your pal talking about her."

"I'm not falling for that again! Inosuke doesn't like her like that, he's said it himself, and has proved it many times with his cluelessness about things..."

He turns back around to leave before he can be bothered any more, but what Uzui says next has him stalling, waiting with bated breath.

"The boar-headed guy? Oh, I'm not talking about him," Uzui smirks, hiding it when Zenitsu faces him once more, " I mean Kamado."

"...What...?"

"Yup! I saw him a while ago, actually, talking about her and how he fancies her."

Zenitsu narrows his eyes. "I don't believe you..."

"No? Then I guess you'll find out for yourself when he confesses to her tonight."

His heart skips a beat. No, it wasn't true, Tanjiro didn't like you like that. He said so himself... but that was a little over a month and a half ago when you'd all first met... and he realizes that his feelings could have changed by then! He swallows a lump in his throat, then dashes off to confirm whether any of this was true or not. Logically, he knows it's most likely a prank, but the less logical side has him sweating bullets and speeding down the halls to find Tanjiro and confront him. He has to know for sure!

He pauses.

Wait... did he really want to know? What would it change? Even if Tanjiro did like you, he realizes it wouldn't matter. You were the one who would make the decision on who you wanted to be with.. if you wanted to be with either of them. You might not even like any one! That thought slightly comforts him, thinking you wouldn't like or choose any one at all, but at the same time it hurts because he does harbor feelings for you and would be overjoyed if you also liked him.

He's already been over this before though... there wasn't anything he could do except make his feelings known and see if you reciprocate... in time, of course. He hasn't forgotten how he promised to try and do things right. If you don't like him, at least he could be proud that he did all he could by putting his heart out there and trying his best. It would be fine. And as Inosuke said, he would have to just move on, even though it might hurt... but he could do it.

He would still like you even as a friend.

He makes up his mind and decides to not seek Tanjiro out. He's just going to go about his business. He's finally been discharged and allowed to start recovery training—along with the other two—now back to his full height and strength (sort of), so he decides instead to go work on himself. He's changed quite a bit since Mount Natagumo and honestly, he kinda likes it and wants to continue to change, to grow even more. He's a bit more sure of himself and has been reflecting a lot, not dwelling on things as much as he once did. He squares his shoulders and heads out to the training grounds, where he finds Tanjiro and Inosuke, just beginning their own workouts.

It's still fairly early as you step outside, getting some fresh air. You've been having a lot of thoughts lately, so many questions unanswered, and new feelings surfacing. You sigh, feeling lost and almost hopeless. You still haven't begun training yet. You're stuck at the mansion, which is fine because at least you have your friends and aren't ever really bored, but that's also kind of the problem.

Those new feelings you've been experiencing more... yeah, they weren't good. Well, they weren't bad... but they weren't good in the sense that you can't seem to think straight around the guys sometimes and you feel sort of weird, awkward, and nervous. You don't want to acknowledge what it possibly means. You can't think anymore!

You come to a stop, eyes widening as you spot your friends in the training area. They're all focused doing their own thing, working out, and it wouldn't bother you usually. But these weird, almost scary feelings are making it difficult as they suddenly hit you full force. You don't even realize you're staring, until your gaze focuses on Tanjiro, who has a serious look as he does pushups. You purse your lips and look away as your heart plummets.

You've seen this expression plenty of times before but something about it right now, a strand of hair falling over his forehead which he sweeps back with one hand as he continues doing pushups like it was nothing, was doing things to you that you didn't necessarily like.

But you also didn't dislike it...

Oh dear... why is it suddenly so hot outside?!

Your eyes slide over to the other two and you have to look away again when you feel your face heat up. This was not a safe area for you to be at right now! Zenitsu's chest is heaving, breaths coming out in quick, short bursts from the amount of running he's been doing, and Inosuke's biceps are on full display, muscles bulging with the effort to lift up two big boulders with ropes tied around them, using them as weights.

Oh... this is so not good...

They're your friends, why are you ogling them like pieces of meat?! They're just working out, trying to get stronger and healthier!

Stop it!

But... there's nothing wrong with admiring the view... right?

No!

You almost smack yourself as you quickly walk away, your heart slightly racing from your intrusive thoughts. Dumb, stupid brain! Is your period coming again or something? It has been a little over a month already since your first one being here, so that could explain things a lot. Hormones are pretty crazy. Yeah, that's it... you have been a little moodier and short-tempered as well, especially with Uzui, the damn giant meat-head! Now thinking about him gets your blood boiling in another way.

The jerk had been pushing you again with your studies, which you understood why because you've slacked off a few too many times before, but in one particular heated conversation he had said something that upset you greatly. So, you've been ignoring him for the last two days and he surprisingly hasn't come to bother you much since.

Good!

You slink off to your favorite spot in the gardens, where all the butterflies usually congregate and flit around. You find the rock by the little pond you often come to sit by, getting lost in your thoughts and slowly relaxing. You sigh once more, chin resting in your hand as you stare at the water, watching as tiny fish swim around. You stay there for a while, unaware of a presence, until their figure looms behind you and casts a shadow. You turn and nearly throw yourself back into the pond but you catch yourself, eyes bulging as you look up at the man.

Rengoku...!?

He's got that signature bright smile, arms crossed over his chest as he looks down at you, unphased by your reaction.

"Good morning!"

You blink a few times. "G-Good evening, Rengoku-san!"

"Evening," he muses, "but it's not even past twelve in the afternoon."

"Afternoon— I mean, morning!"

He laughs boisterously, slightly throwing his head back. "I must say, you are quite amusing!"

"I'm sorry.. uhh, I just.."

"I apologize. I did not mean any harm with that statement, I can see you're uncomfortable."

You want to die. "Oh no, well.. yes, but it's fine! I'm just a little nervous," you admit. "I wasn't expecting to see you..."

"Ah, were you not informed of my arrival?"

"No.. why?"

"I'm here to start your lessons, of course! Uzui told me how far you've come and said that you are ready to begin training now!"

You're frozen.

Uzui... said what?! Why didn't he tell you this?!

You know you've been ignoring him a little... okay, a lot, but he still could've tried to warn you! You want to cry. Rip your hair out! You're not ready!

"Oh, is that right..." you laugh nervously, picking yourself up. "Well, ummm... I guess I am ready to start my training now."

LIES!

"Excellent!" He claps his hands, grinning. "Then, there's no time like the present! Let's get started, shall we?"

You'll kill him, Uzui better watch out for springing this on you like this. He knew how you felt about everything! Even though he annoys the shit out of you at times, you had gotten close and consider him like a friend—family—the weird, annoying uncle you've never had? He knows you almost as well as your other friends, which isn't a whole lot considering you don't even fully know yourself, lost memory and all... but it's enough. Enough to know that you weren't yet confident in yourself or your abilities in Japanese, let alone fighting or demon slaying duties!

Mitsuri has told you about Rengoku's training and from what you had understood it was not easy, it was grueling, no... nearly impossible! Many had quit because they could not handle it. Those people were most likely stronger and more skilled than you were, so what hope did you have of accomplishing anything?!

Rengoku walks away and you follow behind him, your steps uneasy and hurried as you try to not fall behind or convince yourself to run away. It's fine... it'll all be fine. You've come a long way already, so you can do this! You can do anything you set your mind to! Just think about how hard your friends are working, how you want to become stronger, and join the demon slayers to help save others! The real problems are out there. This was nothing compared to what some people have or will potentially go through.

You don't know about your life before here, but you've probably had it easy compared to others, so you can't complain or just sit here and not do anything. You want to help, to get stronger, and fight by their sides. It took the moment you had witnessed those scared children in the forest who's older brother was taken by a demon, and the moment your friends had fought so hard to save others and protect you as well, to make up your mind about joining the organization.

Once you make up your mind, you aren't going to back down. You're stubborn like that—it might get you into trouble one day, but oh well.

This was scary and it will be hard... but you could do it, you had to.

Your steps grow more determined as you follow him back towards the training rounds, keeping your head straight and not sparing your friends a single glance as you walk by. Focus... don't worry about anything or anyone else right now. This was important. The guys paused briefly to watch curiously, as you and the Flame Hashira took place a good couple of yards away. Rengoku turns to you, eyes completely focused on you as he speaks once again.

"Tell me, do you have any experience with combat—be it swords or hand to hand?" You shake your head, feeling a little embarrassed but he keeps an easy smile on his face and continues on. "That's perfectly fine! Are you aware of Total Concentration and breathing techniques?"

"Yes, but I just don't know how to use them myself..."

"I see. Well, worry not, you'll learn soon enough! Since you have no previous experience, I will begin with teaching you simple breathing techniques, to build up your stamina as well as your strength until you are able to master Total Concentration! Once you are ready, we will move on to practicing and honing your combat skills and swordsmanship!"

"Okay," you breathe out slowly. This was it. "I'm ready..."

"First, you'll need to stand up straighter and focus on your breathing," he instructs, walking closer as he carefully observes your posture and breathing. "Good, keep focusing."

Keep focusing?!

You can't! Not with him standing so close and staring at you so intensely, judging whether you were breathing correctly or not!

You inhale, holding your breath and slowly releasing it as you try to focus, instinctively shutting your eyes to block any distractions out. You keep breathing, your mind no longer aware of his presence, besides the sound of his voice still close by as he guides you through it.

"Feel it deep within your lungs, then imagine it going all the way to the tips of your fingers and down to your toes, igniting all your nerves. Let it expand and fill your body, taking in all the oxygen you can to utilize it to its full capacity. Now, it will not solve all your problems, but knowing how to breathe properly will certainly help, and you will continue to grow stronger."

You hummed quietly in acknowledgment, still taking in slow, deep breaths as you imagined all the oxygen filling your body. You felt almost lighter than usual the longer you stood there, focusing on your breathing. That is until a bright white light, perhaps an image, flashed behind your lids which causes you to inhale sharply and choke on the air suddenly, your form faltering as you hunch over in a fit. Your friends immediately perk up and make their way over at the sound of you struggling to breathe, Rengoku also closing the short distance to come steady you with a strong calloused hand.

"Y/n, are you alright," Tanjiro calls out worriedly, joining Rengoku to help you stand back up straight and lightly pat at your back.

You stand, trying to clear your throat with annoying tears pricking your eyes from all the coughing. What the hell was that? It was a weird light, and you aren't entirely sure, but you thought you saw something too... like that one time in the gardens when you had first spoken to Rengoku alone. You close your eyes to try and gather yourself but instantly regret doing so as another image flashes behind your eyes, rendering you completely immobile and speechless. It was more intense, brighter—blue and red clashing together. Your eyes shoot open, landing on Rengoku standing in front of you, his expression critical.

Rengoku...

Your body slowly turns cold, chills running down your spine as something seems to click within you. Those strange visions had something to do with him. You could just feel it, dread settling into the pit of your stomach for some unknown reason. You continue to stare, unaware of anything happening around you as your friends keep trying to gain your attention until you're snapped out of it, Rengoku's voice being the one to break through.

"I believe it would be best for you to take a break now," he says in a manner that wasn't a suggestion but more of an order, though it wasn't harsh. Your expression still falls, feeling disappointed in yourself but he eases your worries with a small, kind smile. "It's alright, you did well for your first time. It will take time, so do not be disheartened. We can continue your training another time, but for now you should rest."

You wanted to train. You wanted to get stronger and be useful, but here you are failing at something as simple as breathing. What was that? Why did you have this weird feeling and vision that you somehow knew to be about Rengoku? A dark, ominous air seemingly hung over you now, casting a dark shadow. Something was going to happen... but what?

You nod slowly, heeding his words and turn around to leave until Inosuke grabs onto you and throws you over his shoulder as he has done many times before, while Zenitsu screeches in retaliation and Tanjiro chases after to make sure no one gets into any trouble. Inosuke runs all the way to the kitchen and snatches a plate of food, all while still carrying you and dashes away with the other two still close behind. He brings you to their room and tosses you onto a random bed, which you almost bounce off of with a shrill cry of slight panic. You manage to catch yourself and go to glare at the boar-headed man until you spin in his direction coming to face a plate of food right in front of you.

"Here! Take this, minion Bubbles! Food always brings my spirits up!"

Oh...

Zenitsu comes crashing in, marching right up to him but before he can lay a hand on the unsuspecting man, Tanjiro comes in and latches onto his arm to stop him. They bicker for a few seconds as you take the plate and look at it, not knowing how to feel about this gesture. It was... sweet, but also kind of strange because it was coming from Inosuke out of all people, as he was always such a wild card. But he had noticed your soured mood at the training grounds and had thought to try and cheer you up, although odd... it was nice. You don't dwell on it and accept the offer with a small grin as you look back up at him, showing him you appreciate it. He wasn't wrong, food was a good way to wind down and bring one's spirits back up.

"Thanks, Inosuke.."

Steam blows from the nostrils of his mask as he puffs up and places his hands on his hips, nose sticking up proudly.

"Y/n-chan, you really should scold him for just dragging you away like that all the time! Don't praise him!"

You shrug and tuck into the food, slowly eating while the guys gather around and kick back, talking amongst themselves. You aren't really paying attention to the conversation, you were too focused on chowing down and it was hard to keep up and translate things in your head, until Tanjiro says your name with a serious tone that has you glancing over.

"Y/n, what happened? These.. strange things keep occurring, and I think it's safe to say that it kind of worries us all..." he pauses, brows furrowed, "are you okay? Have your memories or anything come back to you yet?"

It takes you a minute and you set the nearly empty plate down, your expression falling flat. Are you okay? You don't know what's going on, why you're here, how you even got here in the first place, or why you lost your memories. Nothing makes sense. All you have to go off are the strange feelings you have gotten, the two visions and the whole bizarre, glowing sword that put you in a three day coma situation. Yeah... you were okay—but not really.

"I don't know..." you sigh, speaking slowly, "none of it makes sense, but I think... it all means something. It's just frustrating not knowing."

He nods, leaning forward to give you a reassuring smile as he takes hold of your hand. "Alright, well, we're here for you if you need anything! We made a promise after all, that we'd help you and get you back home. If you— After you gain your memories back... just know that you'll still have a place here... okay?"

You smile back, your gaze settled on the sheets beneath you, all creased and rumpled. "Thanks..."

Zenitsu is suddenly by your side. "Yeah, we've got your back, Y/n-chan! Just don't forget us... if you ever get to go back wherever your home is."

Inosuke comes up and smacks the back of his head, huffing. "She'll get back home! We'll make sure of it! I don't know about you, but I for one am not a loser and get things done! Don't make it sound like she'll be stuck here forever when she has us to help her! We won't fail, got it?!"

Zenitsu yelps at the attack and grumbles, rubbing at the spot. "I-It's a possibility! Nothing is for certain..." He sighs gloomily, looking around. "You're right that we're going to do everything we can to help, but there's only so much that can be done. She still doesn't have her memories... and it's been a little over a month since everything has started. Until she can remember anything, or we get some kind of information from somewhere, there's nothing we can do but continue to just live our lives as we are now. But, if I'm being honest.. I'm really glad you're here Y/n-chan and I hope you'll stay, even after you figure everything out." He refuses to look at you as he says this, cheeks dusted pink. "Tanjiro is right, you'll always have a home here with us..."

Those words sink in as you continue to stare at the sheets below, your hand smoothing over them. It was hard to get everything, your mind feeling exhausted, but you had understood most of what they said.

There really was nothing you could do right now, except just go about your business and continue to learn Japanese and train to be a part of the demon slayers. You're starting to doubt a lot of things again. Would you really be useful? Will you end up just dying and never learning about your life before and who you truly are? You've come to love it here as you have friends—a found family—but it didn't make the questions and longing go away.

You just wanted to know.

Maybe you would leave and go back to your previous life, should you live long enough to make it there and you still had one, or maybe you would stay and continue your life here.

It was just all so uncertain...

☽☼☾☽☼☾☽☼☾

Kyojuro sat in a room with Shinobu, retelling her the events that happened earlier today. He knows about the whole thing with your sword and you falling into a short coma, and that you've been studying extremely hard to learn Japanese, to be a member of the demon slayers and finally be able to begin your training, but he was a little concerned and wanted to make sure that things were alright. Perhaps.. you were under too much stress right now and it would be wise for you to take a few steps back to make sure you were truly ready...

"I see," Shinobu replies after listening to his story. "I agree, it is quite worrisome... but I'm afraid there is not much we can truly do. She is in perfect condition and health. Nothing is wrong with her physically and she's very determined to do things, so all we can do is help guide her and go about normal business."

"If that is the case, then I suppose you are right. However, if things get too out of hand, then we must step in and not allow her to push herself any further. I know it must not be easy to have little recollection of your life and be thrown into a new place, where you face many new and dangerous hardships. Although she may wish to do things and find the answers she seeks, it would be unwise for us to let her do so if it causes more harm than good."

"Correct you are," Shinobu agrees with a solemn nod. "I would hope, and I am fairly sure that she would know her limits. For now, we'll just keep an eye on her and let her continue on her path, helping where needed. We must have some faith. I would very much like to see her grow and achieve everything she has been working so hard for," she admits with a small smile. "I believe she can do so with the proper support from her friends and mentors. So, we must not be hasty to shoot her down before she has been given the chance to prove that she can."

"Yes.. right. Very well," he stands and gives a little wave as he leaves. "That was all, I'll be leaving now. Thank you and have a good rest of your evening!"

As he walks out, he can't help but ponder some things. Shinobu thought they should stand back and let you be, only helping when needed. He feels a little conflicted. On one hand, he can clearly see what Mitsuri had told him was true—that you were stronger and braver than one might think—and Shinobu also had a good point. But the other side was wary and not sure if that truly was the right thing to do to keep you well and safe, though he knows no one has the right to dictate what you do or don't do with your life. You had wanted to take on these tasks as you try to find your way through the darkness. You weren't dumb and surely knew your own limits, so if you kept pushing yourself then it meant you still had the strength to keep fighting, which was an admirable thing.

Although, it could also be dangerous should the breaking point be reached with one final push.

He'll continue training you. He was rather curious and also rooting for you to achieve your goals, alongside your friends and other corps members who had gotten close to you. He couldn't turn you away—he could never refuse to help someone—especially when they sought to become stronger to not only help themselves but other people as well. You had heart and he was looking forward to seeing where your path led you.

Hours later into the evening there's the sound of footsteps behind you, as quietly you sit outside, trying to clear your mind. You've been coming here so often now. Sometimes... it all just felt too much for you. It's not like you had anything to truly complain about, you suppose... but for some reason you felt an overwhelming anxiety and sadness about life lately. You know it has nothing to do with your oncoming period, otherwise you had no clue what it could be about. It's like your body was reacting to something that has happened in the past or has yet to happen—perhaps both?

You don't know.

The strange thing with your sword and those visions certainly didn't help either, only adding to the stress of you thinking whether you're good enough or not, if you'll ever find your answers and figure out who you really are. Everything was just so uncertain right now and you hated it.

"Good evening, Y/n." You don't acknowledge the soft spoken words until the person comes to sit right beside you. "I was informed of your little predicament earlier."

You look at her from the side, it's Kocho...

"Hmm..."

She stares at the sky above, that small smile ever present as she speaks quietly. "How do you feel?"

"Fine."

Her expression doesn't change even as she looks down at you, clearly hearing the lie within your wavering voice. You don't really feel like talking about things right now. You just want to forget about everything and stay frozen in a peaceful time.

"That's good," she hums thoughtfully, "I've heard you've been doing really well with your studies."

Please, not the small talk. You can't. Not right now.

"Yeah, I guess so..."

"I do not wish to pry..." she says slowly and you tense up, "but I cannot help but notice that you don't appear to be as fine as you say that you are."

"Well, you said I was fine," you say shortly. You don't feel like speaking in Japanese, but you do so anyway to say two words, hoping it would sound more convincing. "I'm fine."

She stares for a moment longer before letting out a subtle sigh and switching to English herself. "Yes, physically you are fine. But mentally, emotionally... I am worried. You do realize Rengoku was the one who had told me about your incident, yes? He is also worried."

That gets you to pay closer attention. "What did he say...?"

"He had suggested that perhaps it may be best to hold off on your training, as you may be under a lot more stress than we have realized."

You knew it... you weren't good enough. They were going to kick you out.

"Oh..."

"Yes. However, I believe you know yourself better than anyone and whether or not you can handle something, so I advised we simply watch over you and help when needed. So, I'll only ask once more... are you okay? Do you need help with anything?"

You don't even know where to begin.

What else can be done anyways, if you do ask for help? They've all already done so much, you don't think there was anything else for them to do. Uzui has been teaching you Japanese, Rengoku had agreed to take you under his wing and train you so you could join the demon slayers (although you technically already are a member, as the Master has given permission, you weren't a true member like the others), and your friends have been wonderful at being... well, friends. There really wasn't anything else any of them could do.

You're glad they had some sort of faith in you and were giving you the chance to do these things, that they were so willing to help... but as hard as it all was, these feelings and problems were your own to deal with.

"No... you guys don't have to worry. I'm just... overthinking and tired. I'll be fine. I'm fine..."

She studies you for a few more moments, sighing. "Very well then, please get some rest."

With that, she gets up and quietly walks away. You stay there for a while longer until you feel tired enough to go to bed and actually sleep. When you wake up the next morning, you still have a looming cloud over your head but you get ready and trudge your way to the training grounds. You needed to prove you could do this. You had to do this! There were many reasons why and you didn't want to give up, not yet.

So, you exit the mansion and head towards the spot where Rengoku had been guiding you through simple breathing exercises, standing as straight as you can, pulling your shoulders back and taking in a deep, slow breath. You don't close your eyes this time, too afraid of some other strange vision taking place. You just focus on the wall in front of you and continue to go over the steps.

Rengoku comes out a little while later, his brows raising but he smiles and walks over to you. "Good morning, Y/n!"

"Good morning, Rengoku-sensei!"

He lets out a hearty laugh. "Please, just call me Rengoku, or Kyojuro if you so wish!"

"Ohh, okay..!"

"I see you are doing your breathing exercises," he remarks in a pleasant tone . "And it has only been a day since the first lesson, but I see that your posture and breathing has already improved. Well done!"

"Thank you," you mumble, trying not to lose your focus and make a fool of yourself. "I'm... umm... trying my best, as I want to become stronger."

"Excellent! Keep working hard then, and you will achieve your goals."

After that he continues to watch over you and correct any little mistakes you make in your posture or breathing. He says you're a fairly fast learner and slowly starts adding in some other basic exercises. So far, training hasn't been all that bad, even though it's only been one day since starting. You know you're not the most experienced or fit person but you would have thought it would be a bit tougher. He was going easy on you right now and you weren't necessarily complaining, but you did feel a little bad because maybe you weren't good enough to do anything more than this, even though they're still letting you continue to train after your little incident the other day.

Mitsuri said it was tough but this was... relatively easy.

Would it stay this way? Would they ever actually let you join them in battles and such? Was this just to keep you occupied and out of their way? So many thoughts running–

"You're not focusing..."

You nearly jump out of your skin when Rengoku leans over to speak right next to your ear, your cheeks flushing an awful red. Holy shit! As your heart hammers away, you try desperately to calm it down by using the breathing exercises you've been doing all morning, but it's proving to be very difficult right now as you have to worry about a certain Hashira watching over you like a hawk! You didn't even know he was so close.. not until his honeyed voice had basically caressed the shell of your ear! You almost feel like passing out from sheer embarrassment. 

Does he know how dangerous he is?! Not in the sense of him being a Hashira, a force to be reckoned with who fought fiercely against demons, but just as a man who had insanely good looks and a voice to match. He must know. If not, then how?! Surely he's popular with the ladies and gets a lot of attention, you know if you ever saw him randomly out in the streets, you'd swoon and fall to his feet.

Focus! Now is not the time to daydream about your instructor!

You slowly calm down and get back into the swing of things, luckily not having any more problems as you make sure to stay focused. No way are you going to get caught slipping! Over the hours, he simply watches you and gives advice as you go through your exercise. It was getting hot and you were starting to get tired already, but it was only just now reaching twelve o'clock in the afternoon! Maybe this wasn't as easy as you thought... and if it got harder like Mitsuri has warned you about, then you're in for some real trouble. But you're going to keep trying until you physically can't anymore!

He finally calls for a lunch break and you go to eat, shoving as much food as you can into your mouth before you hurry back to the training grounds, eager to keep going and get stronger. You stay out all day with him, doing basic exercises until you feel like you can't move anymore.

"Let's call it a day," Rengoku says suddenly, stopping you in your tracks.

You were in the middle of running a few laps when he spoke. You stop, legs shaking and panting like you haven't ever ran in your entire life. You're sweating and no doubt look awful, dirt and stains all over your clothes as well. You didn't have a uniform yet, so you only had some casual clothes to wear that weren't really meant to be worn outside all day as you work out... but oh well, what can you do? You slowly make your way over to him, noticing him holding out a flask of water. You smile tiredly and take the flask, bringing it to your lips and down the cool, refreshing liquid.

He smiles down at you as you finish your drink. "You've done well! Rest up and regain your energy for tomorrow, as we will continue doing this until you become strong enough to take on a demon on your own!"

Could you actually do that... eventually? You want to but you have your doubts.

You nod and hand the flask back, lightly bowing. "Thank you... have a good night," you say softly.

As you lay in bed, you can't help but let the intrusive thoughts creep back in.

Could you really do this? What did the future hold? You didn't know... but you hoped everything would work out eventually.

And so, the next couple of days go about the same, you train all day with Rengoku or you study Japanese with Uzui, sometimes fitting both into your schedule if they had the time and weren't busy with something else. You've been doing fairly well so far with keeping up, although you will admit that it was getting increasingly much more difficult, especially with training. Rengoku was adding more to your plate, pushing you to your limits more and more everyday, until weeks have passed and you've reached a point where he sees it fit to begin making you do even harder things.

You now understand what Mitsuri was talking about... and the sad thing is, this was just the beginning of it and it would only get worse from here on out!

☽☼☾☽☼☾☽☼☾

It's been almost three months now since you came here, and while you were getting stronger and could speak Japanese better, you still had a lot of work to do and you still had no memories. You really would've thought you'd have something by now... but no, they were locked away deep inside your mind. You're out training alone when your friends stop by and join you. They distract you a little, but you don't mind all that much because you could honestly use it. You suddenly get an idea and perk up, a daring smile gracing your lips as you look at Inosuke.

It's payback time for all the times he's ever just grabbed or thrown you around!

You let out a battle cry, leap in the air and land right on his back, and he instantly reaches back and tries to dislodge you.

"Aghh! What the hell, get off!" He grunts, running and jumping around..

You hang on for dear life, your arms wrapping around his neck and shoulders and your legs securing themselves around his waist. He has one hand trying to pry your legs apart, while the other goes for your arms around his neck and shoulders, his voice raising in slight irritation when he can't seem to get you off, but there's something in his yelling that suggests he's also having fun and liking this little challenge.

Zenitsu slightly panics (he's also slightly jealous but he keeps it to himself) and keeps hopping around, trying to not get bowled over but staying close enough to intervene if needed. Tanjiro just laughs quietly as he watches this unfold and he actually starts to cheer you on, which boosts your spirits a lot, so you try to actually tackle your boar-headed friend down!

Now, you have no experience in fighting whatsoever, but you have some instincts and they were telling you to tighten your arms around his neck, so you do just that. Well, you try but he was incredibly strong and the grip he had on your arms with just one of his hands was proving to be very difficult to overcome. Just thinking about how he's able to hold you back with one hand is slightly terrifying and makes you wonder if you'll ever be able to be as half as strong. But it also motivates you in a way, makes you want to try even harder to prove that you're not just some weak, useless woman!

You're starting to get a little worn out though, not having nearly as much strength or stamina, so you begrudgingly give up and slacken your hold, allowing him to easily flip you off of his back and onto the ground with an 'oof!'

Zenitsu is instantly by your side, sitting you up. "Y/n-chan, are you okay?!"

"I'm alright," you cough, catching your breath before letting out a low laugh. "That was pretty fun, actually. I almost got you, Inosuke!"

"Yeah right, you can't beat me, you're just a girl!"

Oh no he didn't! Did he seriously just imply that women can't be strong, when some of the Hashira were women—who are much stronger than him, might you add! It's on now, you're going to train your ass off just in spite, so you could truly kick his ass.

"Yes I can! Just you wait, punk!"

"Sure, I'd like to see you try!"

You'd beat your stupid but loveable boar-ish friend if it was the last thing you'd do! After that encounter you started going to your lessons earlier and training with Rengoku even more. This particular day of training has you lying on the ground, gasping for air as you stare at the clouds up above. You've been running and doing other tedious exercises, still building up your strength and stamina. You've gotten the breathing down but you still can't use Total Concentration, in fact, you haven't tried it yet.

"Is that all you've got for today?"

Regoku's fiery hair comes into view as he stands over you with that infuriatingly handsome smile, his expression full of amusement. You want to... to... you don't know what but the urge was strong. Maybe the best way to describe the feelings was that they're like that weird aggression you get, when you see a kitten or some other animal, and you want to just... squeeze it...! It sounds horrible but you don't really want to hurt them, or in this case, him.

Why did he get to you so much? You still had those weird feelings around your friends at times, but he always made you a little more flustered for some reason. It's probably the way he just stares without a care and how confident he is, the way his eyes light up with so much passion. You wish you could be like that.

You blink, your lips drawing into a thin line as you quickly roll over and sit up, your cheeks tinged pink. "No, I can keep going!"

He beams, hands on his hips as stands back and removes his cape. "Good!"

Your eyes widen as you then watch him roll up his sleeves, heading towards a rack with training swords, grabbing two of them.

Oh... shit...

He comes back over, still smiling innocently but there's a gleam in his eye. "You've been doing well! Your breathing, stamina, and strength have improved greatly but you'll stay stagnant if you do not push yourself further, so I believe now it is time to incorporate using a sword!" He tosses one over and you barely manage to catch it as you stand there dumbly. "Are you ready?"

No...

"Sure," you squeak out, hoping you aren't shaking as much as your heart is.

He nods and starts going over how to properly hold a sword, some basic moves and stances, and watches you intently as you try to copy his every move. You're nervous because you've never held a sword or any weapon in your damn life, that you know of anyways, so this was all new to you. The sword felt so odd and out of place in your hands, like it didn't belong there, but you would have to get used to it and do your best because you were a member of the demon slayers now, training to become a real part of the team.

This was the way to help others and protect yourself, so you had to get over the little bit of apprehension of wielding a dangerous weapon. The good thing is that these were just training swords and not actually able to do any real damage. But he says that you'll eventually be using real ones, and you knew that, but you don't think you'll ever be prepared for when that day actually comes.

Would you actually get to that point?

You spend the next few hours going over the same motions again and again until he suddenly gets into a defensive stance, still smiling, and orders you to attack him. Your eyes nearly pop out as he utters those words. You're going to mess up so badly! He could obliterate you within a blink of an eye, there's no way you could even come close to doing anything significant! He can't be serious, right?

But he was very serious as he urges you on when you hesitate, raising his brows expectantly. With one last deep breath you charge forward, clumsily raising your sword and he easily dodges your weak attempt by stepping to the side, watching you fall forward with the momentum of you swinging the sword forward. You land on your hands and knees, your entire body flushing hot as he simply chuckles.

"Good try! But you're hesitating, which is slowing you down greatly. I can predict your moves quite easily!" You slowly stand up, keeping your eyes to the ground until he speaks again. "If you stop and doubt yourself, you give your opponent the upper hand, so keep your head held high, focus, and go forward with the belief that you will succeed! The only one who can truly get in your way and stop you, is yourself. Do not be your own enemy! Become the person who would fight for you and others without fear!"

You swallow, staring up at him in awe. You never really thought of it that way. You are your own worst enemy. You understood what he was saying but it was hard to not fall into the darkness and let your doubts and fears consume you. But he and your friends believed in you and they were so bright, amazing, so maybe... you could be like them too?

You want to be someone that others can rely on, you want to be the kind of person you admire, strong and brave, who protects others and could bring a smile to their face. You don't want to be a nobody... you want to be someone great, the only question was could you do it? Did you have what it takes to try or would you fail?

You slowly nod and get back into your position, watching as he grins wider and goes into his stance once more, his voice booming. "Now... again!"

☽☼☾☽☼☾☽☼☾

Another few weeks have gone by and you wake up, taking in a deep breath as you brace yourself to face yet another day of hard training and exhausting studying. It feels like little time has passed, but at the same time it feels like it's been years since you've started everything. You have improved quite a lot but you still struggle just as much. You're so tired of going back and forth with your feelings of inferiority, to having a burst of confidence, only to have it slip away again and then repeat over and over in a vicious cycle.

These mood swings were rough. That's just life though, isn't it? At least, that's how your life has been going lately. But you're fine, just grin and bare it, and keep pushing forward! You wish you had Tanjiro and Rengoku's enthusiasm and positive outlook on things, they were always so bright and happy...

You on the other hand have been slipping into a dark hole and you try so hard to keep your head held high, just as Rengoku had told you to do, but it was hard and you often felt like you weren't really getting anywhere. Yes, you could see your improvements but it almost wasn't enough, not for you. You want to do better and the frustration gets to you when you don't exceed your own expectations. Every time you fall down and mess up, you're just reminded of how weak you still are and then doubt yourself. Every day you go out to train, you think about giving up, but you stubbornly hold on and keep going until you physically can't because you desperately want to prove to everyone and yourself that you can do it.

It's just so hard though, you feel stuck...

A week ago you blew your friends off because you weren't in a good mood and fell into one of the deepest, darkest holes you have so far in your spiraling thoughts. You had snapped at them, telling them to leave you alone but you didn't see the hurt in their eyes as they had left. Inosuke either didn't care or he was actually really upset because he hasn't even made an attempt to approach you again, unlike Tanjiro and Zenitsu who still tried a little. But they quickly gave up when you would simply ignore their presence and bury yourself into your studies or go out to exercise and train. It's been days now since you've seen them, except for when you pass by each other around the mansion, the air thick and heavy but you kept going without thinking about how you acted.

All you could think about... was training, working harder, proving yourself, and to keep going until you either die or finally make it!

'ʸᵒᵘ'ʳᵉ ⁿᵒᵗ ᵍᵒᵒᵈ ᵉⁿᵒᵘᵍʰᵎ'

'ʸᵒᵘ ˢʰᵒᵘˡᵈ ʲᵘˢᵗ ᵍᶦᵛᵉ ᵘᵖᵎ'

'ʸᵒᵘ ʷᵒⁿ'ᵗ ᵉᵛᵉʳ ᶠᶦⁿᵈ ʷʰᵉʳᵉ ʸᵒᵘ ᶜᵃᵐᵉ ᶠʳᵒᵐ, ʷʰᵒ ʸᵒᵘ ᵗʳᵘˡʸ ᵃʳᵉ, ʸᵒᵘ'ʳᵉ ᵃ ⁿᵒᵇᵒᵈʸᵎ'

Deeper and deeper you fall...

You slide out of bed and are getting ready when Mitsuri casually walks in. "Oh, Y/n! Good, you're awake! I have a present for you," she sings, shutting your door behind her.

She's completely oblivious to your embarrassment as you were just in the middle of undressing. You're standing in your underwear, staring at her wide-eyed, but she doesn't seem to care one bit and skips further into your room holding some material. Once she reaches your bed, she sets what looks to be a uniform down and turns to you with a wide grin. Your slight embarrassment fades to the background as you curiously make your way over and look at the clothing, your face lighting up.

"Isn't it cute?!" she asks excitedly, holding the shirt up to you. "I hope I got the measurements right, I wasn't sure exactly what size you were.. but I think I was able to get it close based on the clothing you've been given while staying here."

You look down at the shirt being held up to your chest, seeing how it might look on you. She had a keen eye as it did seem close, if not the actual right size, but you couldn't be sure until you actually put it on. You're actually really excited to have a uniform and your mood lifts... just a little. Now it felt like you were truly becoming a member of the demon slayers, even though you were still far from becoming a real valuable member. The outfits seemed durable, fairly comfortable, and practical... well, maybe not the skirts... which you realize you have received. Maybe you could put in a request for pants instead if you felt uncomfortable. But for now, this would do and you had to admit it was pretty cute. 

You take the shirt and slip it over your head, pulling it down until you felt it was right and turning around to look in a medium sized mirror on a wall off to the side. It might need a little adjusting but it was indeed very close and not bothersome to wear. The material felt nice actually, keeping you at a perfect temperature and it was surprisingly soft, without feeling like it would easily stretch or rip apart. Mitsuri claps and hands you the skirt, waiting as you put it on as well and observe the outfit in the mirror. She circles around you, nodding with a serious but happy expression.

"Hmm, adorable! But it might need some adjusting, " she confirms your previous thoughts. "Well, what do you think?"

You twist and turn in front of the mirror, looking over it some more with a little grin. "I like it! You're right, I think.. umm, it needs a few things fixed up... otherwise it's perfect!"

She claps her hands and jumps a little in joy, continuing to gush over how cute it was and telling you how pretty you are. Her endless stream of compliments makes you a little shy, because you honestly try not to pay too much attention to how you look... you thought you were fine... not ugly by any means, but definitely not as beautiful as a lot of the other women you've seen so far.

After thanking her for bringing you your new uniform and politely asking her to leave, without actually doing so, she leaves with a giggle and hop to her step, telling you that she'll be around if you need anything else. You chuckle quietly, looking in the mirror once more, staring at your features for a moment and the new outfit. You looked good. But you could fix it to fit even better.

Since staying here, you have gathered a lot more things to keep in your room. You didn't want another scenario happening like with your period last time. You have some cleaning supplies tucked away and various other stuff that the other girls around the mansion had given to you in case you might need it. You let out a happy little breath of air, as you could easily do the adjustments yourself right now. You didn't really want to bother anyone with doing it, even if it would most likely be done more professionally, so you grab a sewing kit from a night stand and set them down.

You grab the shirt and pull it back up, tossing it over your head onto the bed, then bend over to start sliding the skirt down, your heart leaping out of your chest when there's a few loud exclamations from the door to your room. You shoot back up, dropping the skirt as stare like a deer caught in headlights, your own shriek falling from your lips as your face burns hot in embarrassment. This was different than Mitsuri waltzing in on you because she was a woman—your gal-pal—but now in front of your door stands not just one, or even two, but four men! Who are all staring, also like deer caught in headlights.

You screech loudly, "AHHHH, DON'T LOOK!!"

You try your best to cover yourself, watching as they all stumble around in their haste to leave as you sprint to the door and slam it shut.

A jumbled mix of voices call out, "we're sorry!" as they quickly disperse.

No way!

There's no way your luck was this bad! Why have the gods forsaken you?!

You quickly get dressed into your sleepwear again, your face flushed and heart beating wildly in your chest. It felt like it was trying to jump into your throat and escape with how hard it was hammering away. You jump onto your bed face first, internally screaming as you thrash around, kicking your feet and punching the pillow. How many embarrassing things could you go possibly through?! Wait, you take that question back! Asking such things will only make them worse, you just know it with how the universe has been playing with you before. After you cool down enough and stop beating up your bed, you get back up and take in a deep breath, channeling your inner peace.

It's fine...

It was just Tanjiro... Zenitsu... Inosuke... and Rengoku who saw you half naked.

It wasn't a big deal—not at all—nope!

Your face bursts into flames as you think about it more. Nevermind, it was a huge deal! Why the hell were they all here?! But most importantly.. why the hell did you forget your damn door was left open after Mitsuri had left?!

You idiot!

Now they've seen a lot more of you than they would ever care to and are probably scarred for life!

You hide your face in your hands, groaning in misery as you can't stop worrying about it. Is this your breaking point? You want to throw yourself off a bridge again. Or be buried alive. But no... you can't. It's fine—completely embarrassing—but fine. You might not be able to look any of them in eye now, but you could just pretend like it never happened and go about your business.

Yup! You totally could! Except you actually can't.

There's no way you can avoid your friends, even though you don't *have to* spend a lot of time with them, but they'd just seek you out anyways... eventually... maybe? You haven't spoken to them for days, so you wonder why they showed up today. You figured they were all probably mad and wouldn't want to see you for a while, with the way you've been acting towards them. It hurts to think about... your chest aching. 

And there's no way you can avoid Rengoku at all because you actually do have to spend time with him for training! You take a deep breath and decide to try and forget about this for now and fix your uniform up like you had planned. It takes you almost two hours but you finally get it to your liking and make sure that nothing was out of place or done wrong, then put it back on and brace yourself to face the world outside the safe bubble of your room.

Well, here goes nothing.

You slowly open your door, chewing on your lip as you peek outside, relieved to find that no one was hanging around and then slip outside. You speed walk down the halls and make your way to the study room, where you find Uzui waiting for you, a bored expression on his face. You quickly pull out the materials you need and set them down on the table, tucking your skirt in as you sit down and get right to work. Uzui raises a brow at you for not only ignoring him when you entered the room, but for the weird look on your face and behavior.

"What's up with you," he questions. "See a ghost or something?"

"I almost saw my ghost from nearly dying of embarrassment," you mumble, not really paying attention.

"Huh? What are you talking about? You almost died from embarrassment?" He sits up, looking less bored hearing this and starts probing you. "What's that all about? C'mon, tell me what happened!"

"No way, leave me alone..."

"You can't just say something interesting like that and then not give the details," he complains. "I'm bored! Give me something to laugh about, kid!"

"Well, your job isn't to laugh or stick your nose in my business, it's to help me learn Japanese and study," you say, brushing him off.

"Yikes, maybe I should slow it down now, seeing how big your mouth is getting!"

You don't know why... but you snap...

"And maybe you should focus on more important things and stop acting like an annoying, old man who has nothing better to do than pester me for the fun of it! Also, don't think I've forgotten that you didn't tell me about my training months ago, jackass! Was that a joke to you or something?! I wasn't prepared at all! I've been trying to actually do things here but I can't when you keep messing with me and things keep going wrong!!"

He looks taken aback but quickly fires back. 

"Yeah, well you would've known had you not been ignoring me like a child! Here I am, helping you out and this is the thanks I get?!" He scoffs and stands up, looking down at you with an almost hurt expression. "I could be spending time with my wives or doing other work y'know, but I decided to come here to help and teach you because you wanted to learn and hopefully find some answers. And you've done a really great job, kid, really—I have faith in you. You've come a long way but I don't need to tell you that. You are ready and can do so much but you lack some serious discipline. Also, you may not see it but you push people away and shut yourself in a lot too. You aren't alone in any of this, we all want to help, but you have to let us in and stop acting like everything is against you! We all have stuff to worry about, you're not the only one going through things!"

You stare at the table, frozen to your spot as his words sink in and your eyes begin to water, but you try to not let the tears fall down your cheeks. You don't know what to say, you're stuck, unable to speak. Have you really been closed off? Have you really been... awful? You like to think you've been open with your friends and haven't done anything to hurt them... but you were blind, too caught up in your own thoughts and feelings to see what you've done. You did hurt them and you've hurt him too. They've all become important to you, your friends, your found family... but you haven't exactly been the best at showing it now, have you?

They all have and very likely are going through things, just like he said... yet they still think to look out for you, support you, and have done many things for you—what have you done for them?

He sighs, running a hand through his hair as he heads for the exit. "I'm gonna head out for a while. You just study on your own right now, you shouldn't need my help.. I know you can do it."

With that said, he leaves you alone to sit in your shame and self-pity. It takes a couple minutes of calming yourself down before you get to work and start studying. You stay in the room for hours, not even moving an inch to take a break. You can sense a presence enter the room at one point and from the corner of your eye can see that it's Shinobu, but she doesn't say anything and quietly leaves after watching you for a moment.

More time passes and the three girls, Naho, Kiyo, and Sumi shuffle in to offer you some snacks but you politely decline and bury yourself further into your work. They stand around awkwardly but they refuse to go without leaving the food for you, hoping you would eventually eat something. Once they set the food down nearby they hesitantly leave and you're left alone once again. 

You keep going well into the night, until you finally pass out in the early hours of the next morning. Your face lays on the table, brush still in your hand as you slumber away. You're barely conscious as someone comes into the room and sighs at the sight of your hunched over form before they lift you up and bring you back to your room, tucking you into your bed. Your eyes briefly open but you're so exhausted that you don't actually register who had put you to bed, only seeing a hint of white.

You wake up later, still very much tired but absolutely starving and thirsty. You sit up and groan, rubbing at your eyes with a pout. You want to stay in bed and hide from the world but you can't. You had to find the answers you seek, you had to keep studying and training to help your friends and everyone else in the demon slayer corps, and most importantly... you had to apologize for blowing up on Uzui. He may be annoying at times but he didn't deserve that. All of the stress and bad thoughts that have been attacking your mind lately just finally got to you... although, you know it isn't an excuse. You need to be a better friend to everyone... you just need to do better.

You get out of bed, dressing as quickly as you can before you march out of your room and head straight for the study room. You burst through the door, expecting to find Uzui but he was nowhere to be found. You look around the mansion for the next couple minutes, your anxiety rising with every passing second.

Did he leave?

Was he no longer going to help you?

Did you mess everything up?!

Was it too late to try and fix it?!

No... please, no! Not him, too, he can't leave you. Were your friends next? Would they also leave—

You freeze, your entire body convulsing as something pushes to the front of your mind, running rampant and sending chills down your spine. It... it was a memory! It's not clear but you can feel it, something happened, someone had left... and you were all alone. Tears blur your vision as you take in deep breaths, crouching down to rest your hands on your bent knees.

Breathe...

In and out, you slowly breathe, your eyes squeezed closed in an effort to stop the tears from falling. You finally had a memory... and even though you couldn't fully understand what it was about, the emotions that came with it were overwhelming. You stand back up and you suddenly have more energy than you've had before and you hurry down the halls to find someone to confide in. This was huge and it gives you hope that you would find your answers after all. As you mindlessly speed around you bump into the very man that you had been looking for. His expression is unreadable until you suddenly fling your arms around him, letting out a choked little sob.

"Hey, kid, what's with the waterworks?"

"Uzui, I'm sorry!" You squeeze tighter, trying to convey just how deeply you feel. "I'm sorry! You were right, please don't leave! I'll do better!"

His eyes are wide as he looks down at you clinging to him, then a small smile spreads over his lips as he brings a hand up to your head and gently pats you. "Leave? Just 'cause we got in a little fight doesn't mean I'm gonna tuck my tail and run away like a dog, that'd be pretty unflashy! Now, what's with all the tears, huh? "

You step back, your mouth dropping open as you then speak without stopping. "Oh, right! I had a memory, it happened after I was looking for you because I was worried you left, but then suddenly something came to me! It's not very clear but I could feel it.. and it was... it was scary and I was so upset, and I just—"

"Woah, woah, slow down and breathe!" He crouches to your level and looks you in the eye, bringing his hands up as he inhales and then lowering them when he exhales, and you start copying him. "Alright, good, so you finally got a memory?"

"Y-Yes..!"

"That's great! But... it wasn't clear?" You nod and he purses his lips in thought. "Well, at least it's a start. If that one came to you, then I'm sure more will pop up, and you'll get all your answers someday."

"I hope so, I just... I just want to know."

"And you will," he reassures you.

"Thank you," you sigh, letting your shoulders fall as you finally relax.

He hums, standing up and looking away for a moment. "Mhmm, so.. I also wanted to apologize. I know I can be a real pain in the ass at times, as I like to try to make life more interesting, but it's no excuse.. so, I'm sorry for messing with you and not being as serious as I should."

You shake your head, frowning. "No, I get it.. I overreacted and you were right. I haven't been very open with you or any of my other friends, even though you all have been so patient and supportive. You've all done so much for me, but I haven't done anything for you because I was too caught up with my own thoughts and feelings..." You chuckle a little, giving him a wobbly smile as you look up at him. "I'm the one who should be sorry. And I don't want you to change who you are! You can still mess with me, but I won't lie and say that it's funnier when you mess with other people instead."

"Hah! Is that your way of saying you want in on the fun?" Your smile turns a little mischievous, both of you smirking at each other and laughing as you nod. "Then you should help me with that loud friend of yours!"

"Which... one?"

"The really loud, annoying one who has a problem with me having three wives."

You snort. "Ohh, Zenitsu! Have you been picking on him?"

"Of course I have! Are you gonna help me or not?"

You laugh louder and agree, Uzui and you shaking hands as you make a pact to pester Zenitsu together. You have no clue what he's already done to him or what he has in mind now that you're in on it, but you were looking forward to spending some time outside of studying with Uzui, even if it was at the expense of poor Zenitsu's sanity. But you stop laughing when you remember how you've been acting towards him and your other friends, your throat constricting and stomach twisting sickeningly. You've been awful...

"I don't think I can actually do that," you whisper. "He and the others.. probably hate me now..."

"Huh? What makes you think that?"

This hurts a lot now that you're having to face your mistakes, your heart painfully squeezing in your chest. You take in a deep shuddering breath, your brows furrowed as you stare off into space.

"I... hurt them. I pushed them away... just like you said," you mutter lowly. "Now they probably don't want to see or speak to me again. I was so caught up in my own head that I didn't care about anything else, so I told them to leave me alone and ignored them. I was being awful and they were just trying to help..."

He sucks air in through his teeth, rubbing his chin. "Ohh.. well, that certainly is a problem..." Your expression and heart fall even deeper, tears brimming your lashes once again. His face scrunches up, slightly panicking at how depressed you now look. "D-Don't get all mopey! Look, I'm sure if you apologized they would forgive you, you just have to go to them and tell them how you really feel. No more hiding or pushing us away, right?"

"You're right..." you swallow and clench your fists. "I'm just... scared..."

The look in his eyes as he gazes at you, makes you feel lighter and eases your worries. "I'm here. We're all here, remember.."

You close your eyes and take in a few breaths before nodding and looking at him again, a scared but hopeful smile spreading from your lips. You were afraid of being alone, yet you hid and pushed people away, but you can't do that anymore. It was dangerous and you were becoming something you didn't like. You had to stop being so afraid and beating yourself up for every single little thing that doesn't go exactly how you want. You were going to try to do better, to open up more, and work hard to achieve your goals with the help from your friends.

But first, you had to apologize and hope they would forgive you...

☽☼☾☽☼☾☽☼☾

Taisho Secrets

Uzui and you have a lot of arguments over music, food, and clothing. That one heated argument was about how he thought Fugu-sashi (Globefish Sashimi) was better than Dango. He insulted you by saying, "Your taste in food is as unflashy as you are—plain, dull, and boring!" and so naturally you fought and things got out of hand… resulting in you ignoring him for two days. You both are very opinionated on these matters…

Fugu (河豚; 鰒; フグ) pufferfish sashimi, is famous as a high-class dish in Japan. Using exceptionally thin blades called fugu hiki, only trained and licensed chefs are permitted to separate the fugu's poisonous organs from its delicate white meat.

Dango (団子) is a Japanese dumpling made from rice flour mixed with uruchi rice flour and glutinous rice flour. The many different varieties of dango are usually named after the various seasonings served on or with it.

#demon slayer fic #tanjiro x reader #inosuke x reader #rengoku x reader #zenitsu x reader #tomioka x reader #nezuko kamado #shinobu kocho #sanemi shinazugawa #tengen uzui #demon slayer fluff #demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #choose your ending #angst #fluff #friends #humor #jealousy #pining

[heedmywarnings]

A stitch in time saves nine.

(Related to: God!Reader who can't take anything serious)

This certain event happens if you are at a risk of dying, choosing to ignore this event and continue how the situation is can lead to your demise, but making a difference in time may help you avoid the risk and encounter a new ending... and much more possibilities.

Uhh

Somewhere in the abyss, the princess was like doing stuff, "After eons upon eons, they finally descended and run around Teyvat?" She said, "How responsible of them..."

Inazuma was nice, but getting Ei to visit Kazuha's dead friend's grave and express your disappointment in her for committing such crime? Even fucking better. Sure Teyvat was nice, but you felt like you made yourself an enemy, like you mindlessly obeyed to dig your own grave and all you need to do was die in it. You cannot shake off the uneasy feeling.

Let's recall so far what happened to you, hm?

You were suddenly transported at Windrise, Mondstadt.

Amber and two other favonius knights chased you down all the way to Stone Gate, brandishing you as an Impostor.

Amber has shot your ankle, forcing you to limp through Liyue.

You hid from the people in Stone Gate and successfully passed through Wangshuu Inn.

Xiao noticed you, he lifted his weapon only to see the golden blood dripping from your ankle.

Xiao tries to help you but you refuse, your attempt to outsmart the yaksha failed.

You began to run to Liyue Harbor before Zhongli manages to find you.

You stole a cloak and hid your identity, only for Childe to find you in the crowd of people.

He asks you to hide behind him to which you obliged, moments later Zhongli appeared from the crowd inquiring about your presence, to which Childe refused.

Childe invites you to Snezhnaya, you refused.

You got to Bubu Pharmacy to rid off the arrow through your ankle.

Luckily, Baizhu helped you, but the time spent there caused Zhongli to find you.

You were transported to a mansion that belonged to the Qixing as your temporary home

You escaped the mansion while Childe and Zhongli were arguing.

You met Xiao, but he does nothing this time.

You met drunk Beidouz she introduces you to her crew and you set sailed to Inazuma.

You roamed about in Inazuma with Kazuha.

Inazuma welcomed you in open arms, you are uneasy.

Kazuha had to leave you behind so you roamed in the meadows, where you found Aether.

You offered to tell him theories about his sister, to which Aether ended up asking you to travel with him, you refused.

Somewhere far away...

Alhaitham begins to research about you. He hired the help of Zhongli to which he defended all information he has about you. Nothing is known beyond this point.

Tell me, would you changed the scenarios (The colored text) and avoid the risks? Or identify who was pulling the strings?

Taglist:

@sheepispink

@magica-ren

@kytesse

@overthebox

@kiraisastay

End of voting: September 17

#genshin impact #sagau #imposter sagau #sagau impostor au #self aware genshin #sagau cult au #sagau x reader #choose your ending

[holylulusworld]

Barnes vs Barnes poll

I'm two chapters ahead of Barnes vs Barnes. I got an ending in mind but - I want you to choose whom she will end up with.

#voting poll #lulu makes polls #Barnes vs Barnes poll #choose your ending

[isolationaroundus]

No matter the anguish, the end is always approaching faster and faster.

#choose your ending #salvation is near

[chisaiyume]

Wolf Bride

This is a mini story series that I wrote a while ago:

Ha…ha….ha….constantly I run seeing no end to a dark tunnel only to wake up out of breath and sweaty. I’ve been having this same reoccurring dream ever since I lost everything in my life to the raging waters. I look around my empty house as I get up to cool my face. Pulling back the curtains, the moon light shines into my room casting a shadow of a howling wolf. A wolf in the city?? I think to myself. But I just shrug my shoulders and go back to bed curling myself up. A howl goes through the neighborhood echoing in my ear. It sends shivers down my spine. Yet somehow I feel as if someone’s calling for me. Closing my eyes tight, I cover my ears. But the howl seeps through me with a warmth that I have thought was long gone. The howl echoes through the house as if it’s calling for me. Unsettled by the howling, I get up out of bed. Putting my sweater on, I grab my flashlight and go looking for it. I don’t know why, but I just seem to be drawn to it without any fear. Not knowing if I would even find it, I open up the door and walk out.

Stepping down the stairs I watch my breath fade away in the chill air. I make my way through the abandon night. Only the moon lit the street and the stars accompany me as I walk carefully down the streets. Suddenly, a shadow moves in the corner of my eyes. I quickly turn towards it. As I set eyes on it, I drop my flashlight in shock. A wolf has come to town. But this wasn’t just any wolf…its eyes held a deep secret. It suddenly dashes into the shadows and just like that it is gone. However, I can’t help but run after it myself, into...

The Riverbed

The Rooftop

The Unfinished Temple

The Warriors' Graveyard

#mini story #writing #choose your ending

[chocolatewitchbunny]

Rainbow wedding part 4: Green! 💚

#aiartist #ai generated #ai artwork #ai #anime and manga #kawaiiapp #fantasy #green hair #green eyes #swamp #forest #magical forest #brown hair #blond hair #lesbian #lesbian couple #lesbians #bisexual #choose your ending #june bride #princess and the frog #frogs and toads #lgbtq+ frogs #gay #gay couple #green

[bacchuschucklefuck]

while teen while goblin while aroace while injured while doing your best

#fantasy high junior year #fhjy #riz gukgak #figueroth faeth #sklonda gukgak #dimension 20 #this. mmmmhhh this is so. I did Not know how to draw this really. #I am very normal about riz (<- lying) #it's a brennan-dm d20 campaign the bad guy is always capitalism (I am saying this with clenched teeth) #riz out of all of them being aroace fucks with me SO bad. bc its also established that elmsville specifically and probably the #majority of solace is not. made for goblins. and that becomes sklonda being worked to the bone and pok dying on the job #and riz spending all his time trying to keep his friends together. maybe to the point of it being injurous #like. do u get what I mean. its an economy of time it takes your time it eats up your time #not just the gukgaks but everyone you have to spend time to get to live and you don't have a lot of time left in a day #and you have to spend it carefully. you have to prioritize #you're somewhere without an established community and companionship is bought with your time spent working #this place doesn't take care of you. at the end of the day who do you have who'd prioritize you. do you understand me #the evolved aroace loathing where if your friends and family are granted more time nobody would have to choose. we live in a society #holds ur hand we live in a society. idk if Im making any sense #anyway . uhhh riz is my favourite that's my statement thank you for listening. au revoir

[chaotic-carnifex]

No hold on I'm gonna make an extra post about this:

I wouldn't choose to be alloromantic

If I were given the choice to either remain aro or become alloro again, I would choose aromanticism.

And I think a lot of people need to hear that.

#aro #aromantic #actually aromantic #safeforaro #alloromantics are encouraged to reblog this #aros aren't the only ones who need to hear that our orientation isn't a consolation prize #too many ppl - both aro-specs and alloros - think that being aro is okay only bc it's not something we choose #with the implicit belief that if we COULD choose then OF COURSE we'd choose to be alloro #bc it's clearly the 'superior' option #and honestly? it's not. #they're equally valid options and which one is 'superior' depends entirely on your own needs and preferences #and my preference is *being aro* #so if you're aro and you feel like yeah sure it's OKAY that you're aro bc you DIDN'T choose this #but if you could you WOULD choose to be alloro? #well maybe being alloro really would be better for you. or maybe it's just internalized amatonormativity. #and I cannot answer for you which one it is - the only one who can is you #all I can do is raise you the OPTION that it might be amatonormativity and then leave you to consider it #so this is for the aros who need to hear that option #and for the alloros who pity us for supposedly getting the short end of the stick #we are not a tragedy

[sarcasticassian]

Steve and Robin come out to see Corroded Coffin at their Vegas stop and they have a great time and after the concert they and the band go out for drinks because when in Vegas right? and they all maybe go a little too far and get blackout drunk and Steve, Eddie and Robin all wake up in a bed together, fully clothed of course, but incredibly hungover and it takes them a while to notice the rings but then Steve finds the certificate and all hell breaks loose

Robin and Eddie got married last night

Steve has never felt more betrayed in his LIFE, he was supposed to drunkenly marry Robin one day, they're soulmates, how has she ended up married to Eddie?? the two of them shrug as Steve storms around the room, Robin totally apologetic and willing to make it up to Steve, Eddie relaxing back into the bed because now he has a wife and a boyfriend

Eddie has to leave for his next tour stop so they can't annul it straight away but when they do they gleefully tell everyone who can hear that they never consummated their marriage thank you very much and headlines hit the next day about the lead singer of Corroded Coffin getting a divorce from his secret wife, an ex wife who left hand in hand with another man and all hell breaks loose again when Steve realises this means people think they can just hit on Eddie now they think he's single

#jealous Steve my beloved #idk how they ended married either #that's for you to decide #choose your own adventure #steddie #stobin #platonic stobin #stobin friendship #steddie au #steddie headcanon #stobin headcanons #stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson #robin buckley #steveddie #steve x eddie

[bernard-the-rabbit]

How do you live?

#anyway miyazaki movies are really like #what if you accept that your legacy is not under your control #that what you expect may not end up happening. #What if you remember #what if you accept that you have to let go the people you love #what if legacy is heavy on your shoulders #what if you can choose #and i can't be normal about it #my trashy art #the boy and the heron #the boy and the heron fanart #how do you live #how do you live fanart #studio ghibli

[wysteriaz-blog]

Two Worlds Collided & They Could Never Tear Us Apart

Chapter 16: Prove Thyself

The Master has requested you be sent on your first mission, but you fear the outcome when you've only had a few months to train, your swordsman skills still need a lot of work, and you've barely touched on using Total Concentration. You're the one that chose this path, you knew the dangers, so all you can do is hope that everything works out in the end.

Or read the series on Ao3 / Wattpad!

▪︎☆°○°☆ Playlist ☆°○°☆▪︎

The darkness envelops you, with only the moon's soft glow casting light. There's an unsettling silence as you and Shinobu stare at each other, her words slowly sinking in. As the tendrils of anxiety and fear slither through your veins, a paradoxical calmness settles upon you, shrouding your senses in a haunting stillness. It's an odd tranquility, as if the world around you has been muted, holding you in a suspended state. The air feels heavy, each breath a struggle to draw in, and an invisible weight presses down on your chest, constricting and tightening. Your heart doesn't race like you thought it would after hearing such news, instead it pulses with a fervor that seems out of sync, creating a discordant melody that resonates throughout your being—its echoes reverberating within the hollows of your chest.

The sensation, although unsettling, carries a strange kind of familiarity, like an old acquaintance returning to haunt your thoughts.

"What...? Are you serious?"

Shinobu's expression shifts, her brows pinched together. "I had voiced my concerns over the matter, but it's unlike the Master to make decisions without careful consideration," she sighs. "I don't agree with it, but we must trust that he is making the right choice..."

"I can't... I only have a few months of training! I've only learned close up combat so far, and just started to get the hang of using the training sword recently. Oh, and not to mention that Total Concentration is still way out of my reach!"

"Unfortunately, you must go on this mission and carry out your duties."

"Oh my— I'm going to die, you realize that, right?"

"You will not die," she says firmly, "you will be fine."

"How can you say that?! I have little to no experience and demons are powerful, cold-blooded monsters who will not hesitate to rip me to shreds!"

"Not all demons are as strong as you think. In a way, this mission will serve as your Final Selection, to prove that you are capable of fighting demons alongside other Corps members. I don't believe it will be too difficult, and you won't be alone as far as I know, but still... please be careful."

No one ever mentioned a Final Selection. You know Tanjiro, Zenitsu, and Inosuke went through it, but you never thought it would apply to you. It makes sense, but you are confused as to why you are being sent out on a mission when you are still learning and growing as a demon slayer. You feel like you've only scratched the surface and have so much more to do before you are truly ready. Tanjiro and Zenitsu barely made it through their Final Selection, and they had more training than you, so this feels like a death sentence. However, Shinobu and the others trust the Master, so you should too... right? Besides, you wanted to join the Corps and knew what it would entail if you were accepted.

You had already accepted whatever fate may fall upon you—whether you'd live or die while you served the Corps—so now you need to suck it up and do what you had promised to yourself.

No more running...

No more hiding...

No more being afraid...

You want to help and fight by their sides. To make a difference, no matter how small or insignificant it may be. You could do this—you have to. Whatever you would encounter on this mission, whatever you had to do, you would fight and try your best to prove that you are capable and worthy to stand by their sides, to help protect the people who could not protect themselves, and call yourself a Demon Slayer.

You may not reach any higher ranks, but you'd give it your all and die trying.

"Okay..." You say, letting the feelings wash over you and then slip away, trying to remain calm. "Where am I going? Who am I meeting? And what exactly will I be doing?"

"I don't know, I was not given the details. You will meet with one of the other Hashira at the headquarters and receive more information then."

You frown a little but nod, bidding her a good night before you begin to make your way to your room. As soon as you reach your room you step inside and immediately walk to a desk, grabbing some paper and ink. Your hands have the slightest tremble as you dip the brush in the ink and swipe it over the first paper, taking your time so as to not mess up too much. You have to write something down so that your friends would know what was going on. It also helped you calm down some, but not enough to stop the thoughts from trickling in, your anxiety remaining just at the edge. You will be gone first thing in the morning to go on a mission. You don't know if you'll be alone on this mission, or if the Hashira you're meeting with will accompany you, which you really hope is the case considering all things. You also wonder who it is... have you met them before? Or was it someone you've yet to get acquainted with? The mystery is quite bothersome, but you'll find out soon enough. With one last final touch to the paper, you sign your name and get ready for bed.

The white light of the moon glares down upon you through your window as you tuck yourself into bed. You leave the curtains open, too anxious to sleep in the pitch black of your room. You've never really been afraid of the dark, but for some reason tonight... you need something to remind you that even in the darkness, there was still light. You can't help but think about Rengoku as you lie there, waiting for your mind to slow down enough to fall asleep. His advice while training will be pertinent, so you need to remember everything he has told you so far, as it could be what helps you in a matter between life or death.

Do not hesitate.

Be confident in your abilities and give it your all.

Focus on your breathing.

And most importantly, do not give up.

Sleep doesn't come easy but you eventually succumb to its pull.

All too soon your eyes are sliding open, still bleary and begging to shut once more to get a few more hours of sleep in, but looking outside of the window in your room tells you that morning was just around the corner. The shadows of the night recede, giving way to the first rays of sunlight, so you slip out of bed and grab your uniform. You take your time getting dressed, your movements slow and clumsy as you get used to being awake. You've gotten up fairly early a few times before, but this was different seeing as you had a harder time getting rest. Your mind was too weary to let itself truly rest and now... you were about to face what you couldn't stop thinking about.

It's time...

☽☼☾☽☼☾☽☼☾

In this peaceful hour, a hushed tranquility blankets the land. Lush greenery adorns every corner of the headquarters, with meticulously manicured gardens and vibrant flowerbeds bathed in the soft glow of the morning light. The delicate petals of cherry blossoms, lotus flowers, or vibrant hydrangeas open up, reaching towards the heavens, offering a spectacle of colors that evoke a sense of awe and wonder. The rhythmic chorus of cicadas begins to resonate, their high-pitched notes creating a distinct soundtrack of the season.

As the morning progresses, the sun ascends higher in the sky, casting its gentle warmth upon everything it touches. An early morning in the summer is a precious and ephemeral moment, where time seems to stand still, allowing one to fully appreciate the beauty of nature. Kagaya Ubuyashiki, the leader of the Corps, finds absolute peace in moments such as this. The scent of incense lingers in the air, blending with the aroma of freshly brewed green tea that's been prepared for the arrival of three of his beloved 'children.'

He waits patiently just inside of the entrance of the estate, sitting in front of a low standing table that holds the tea. When he senses the tell-tale sign of his guests he greets them with a soft, content smile. "Welcome, it's a lovely morning, is it not? The calm, early mornings have always brought me such joy."

Although he is unable to see, they show their respect for their Master with a bow, returning greetings in kind. He welcomes them inside and they step into the room, taking their spots around the table. A young girl appears and pours the tea into the cups that are set out, serving all of them. The Flame, Insect, and Water pillars give their thanks and then she leaves just as quietly as she came. The Flame Hashira takes his cup, feeling the warmth seep into his hands and beams brightly, his smile almost comparable to the sun.

"I am glad to see you in such a joyous mood!" Kyojuro states, taking a sip of the freshly brewed tea, giving an appreciative hum . "I hope that the day will continue to treat you well, Master!"

"Thank you, Kyojuro, and you as well. Now, let's begin with this meeting." Kagaya sits perfectly straight, hands folded neatly in front of him. "I've brought you here to discuss matters involving the new recruit, Y/n. As we know, she has been training with our Flame Hashira, and doing a splendid job. However, it has been brought to my attention that she may need more than training now. She is much stronger than she knows, but she is hindered by self-doubt, holding herself back... I believe that in order for her to become a brilliant swordsman like yourselves, she must be sent on a mission where she can put her skills to the test."

"I see! I've never been one to question your judgment, but I must admit that at this very moment, I have some concerns..." the fiery man replies to the news in a more subdued manner.

The Master could understand why the Flame Hashira seemed doubtful. He had been asked to report to him, as the Master had taken a great interest in you ever since the day you had asked to join the Corps. The fact that two of his pillars, Mitsuri and Kyojuro had taken an interest in you first, and supported you, made it fairly easy to make the decision that would grant your permission to join the Demon Slayers. The Master trusts his 'children' and cares about their thoughts and feelings, so he could not refuse this request when it was made. They saw something in you, and he was starting to see it himself, from what little information he does know. And what truly stood out to the Master, was the day you had received your katana. No one had expected anything to happen yet, but something did, and he took it as a sign. You were no doubt special, as well as your friends, and he believes that you, your friends, and the rest of the Corps would be able to finally put a stop to this age-old war.

Or so he hopes, after all... not everything is as it seems, and things can change all too quickly—nothing is for certain. Something very well could happen, causing a chain reaction that could either lead to their victory or demise. But he had to believe, to hope, otherwise there was no point in all of this. He knows that it may seem a bit sudden and not thought through, but all he has ever done is think and feel, and this... feels right.

"It does seem rather sudden, however, I ask that you consider my words. For a long time we've thought that demons were nothing more than cruel, cold-blooded killers, but there has been an instance that defies what we previously believed. The Kamado siblings have broken the notion that all demons are malevolent and incapable of changing. We've witnessed firsthand something truly remarkable—Nezuko is different." He pauses and tilts his head skyward, as the sunlight slowly enters the room and shines upon them. "I have thought about it and although these are merely my feelings, I strongly believe that we are taking steps in the right direction, and that we will be able to succeed in defeating Muzan Kibutsuji within time."

"But what does this have to do with the girl?" Giyuu asks slowly.

"Just like the Kamados, I feel she is also different. You understand don't you, Giyuu? You are the one who spared Tanjiro and Nezuko's life after all. You saw they were different and went against Corps rules, but that is fine. Being different, and things changing, is something that we should embrace and not fear. They very well may be the keys to our success, which is why I believe that Y/n should take this mission. So she may learn and grow, along with her friends and other comrades. And together, we all can fight. It is no coincidence that the Kamados, Y/n, and the others have met and found themselves here with us."

"So... you think she needs to go out and become stronger? That she and the others are who will save humanity?"

"Yes, and that includes you, as well as every other member of the Corps. Everyone plays an important role, you see. We've all come together, and although our reasons for being here may seem different, they are in fact the same... as we ultimately wish to protect those we love and bring peace. Together we are strong and we will make a change."

Shinobu stares at her cup of tea with a faraway look. "So, we're all here for a reason... and you believe that somehow they... that we... all may be the reason we will finally see Muzan's defeat?"

The Master nods and gives a wistful smile, carefully reaching out to pick up his own cup and take a sip. Shinobu takes it all in and almost gets angry. Well, she is angry... she always is, but she wants to scream and cry about her sister, who had lost her life to a demon years ago. Did that happen for a reason? Could her sister not have lived and the Demon Slayers still succeed in defeating Muzan? Was her sister destined to die and she should just accept it because it was meant to happen, and she was meant to be here and live alone?

She's conflicted because she can understand what the Master is saying, but on the other hand... she doesn't want to believe that her sister, or that anyone else has and will continue to die just because it was meant to happen. Well, why did it have to happen? Why can’t they all live and defeat Muzan? Did the outcome depend on who lived and died? And if so, who else was meant to die? She hopes no one else will have to befall the same fate, as that's how it should be, but she knows that life is not fair. She wants to believe that everything will work out in the end, but it didn’t make it any less painful when they had to lose something—someone—along the way, and she has an inkling of fear that you might be the next soul taken away much too soon, just like her sister.

Now, Kyojuro wasn't exactly expecting this when he had told the Master about your progress in training thus far. He's been sitting quietly, listening intently to every single word the Master has uttered and he still feels as if this is perhaps too early, but he trusts the Master and knows that he only has the best intentions. He hasn't seen it much before, but the Master seems to have great intuition and know things that others do not. This could be the case now. He believes in what the Master is saying wholeheartedly, but he does wish that you didn't have to do it so soon. He's become quite fond of you... although you tend to be much more reserved around him, you've grown on him during your training sessions. He's especially enjoyed those little moments you've shared at night, when you opened up to him.

He adores all of his comrades and knows they're all strong, but he still finds himself worrying for everyone to some extent. That now includes you, as you are one of them. He's seen the fire in you and doesn't doubt you'll do well, but he does worry about your safety and almost wishes he was the one tasked to accompany you. He wants to know you'll be safe, to see you put your skills to the test and succeed, as your teacher, and as your friend. He briefly wonders if Giyuu was asked to go with you because he didn't have feelings involved, he wasn't your friend or anything quite yet. But he and the others were closer to you, so Master probably took that into consideration when deciding who to pick, as he wanted you to try to do this on your own. If he or your other friends were involved, they might step in and not give you the chance you truly needed to learn and grow as a member of the Corps. And you wanted to do this, to become stronger and fight by their sides. You had to do this and that meant they couldn't be there for you. It's a little displeasing, but he understands why it must be this way.

As for Giyuu, he also could see what the Master was saying and trusted him, he just didn't have anything to say about it. He's never really been good with words, but he accepts it and is happy to help.

"Very well," Giyuu says after a moment of silence. "Although, I am curious as to why only us three are here..."

"As he is responsible for her training, I thought Kyojuro should be informed of Y/n's whereabouts. I wanted Shinobu to also be aware of the situation and relay the news to everyone residing in her estate. I will personally speak with everyone else after this meeting. And as for you, Giyuu, I ask that you accompany Miss Y/n on her mission. Keep her safe, but do not interfere unless absolutely necessary. We must let her try to unlock her potential. I believe she can do it if given the chance. She's stronger than she knows and hopefully this will push her to believe in herself as others believe in her. "

"As you wish... I will see to it," Giyuu mumbles.

"Thank you, then this concludes the meeting. Y/n should be here soon to meet with you."

The young girl comes back out and leads the Master away, and Shinobu and Kyojuro leave as well. Giyuu stays seated for a few minutes to finish his cup of tea, not wanting to waste it. He takes his time, enjoying the stillness and closes his eyes to fully immerse himself in this peaceful moment. Soon he'd be going on a mission, well, he'd be accompanying someone on a mission and he truthfully didn't mind, as it would be nice to go out and do something... besides laying a demon, as that would be your job. He just needs to keep an eye on you, and he could take this time to try and relax, even if just a little but he liked being busy and took his job seriously. Once he's done with his drink he stands outside on the veranda and waits patiently for you to arrive.

He doesn't really know much about you, but Kyojuro, Mitsuri, and Uzui did talk about you at the last meeting. Shinobu said you were likable, but didn't say much of anything else as she's been too busy to spend much time with you. The other three had a bit more to talk about though, they said that you could be fairly shy and quiet, much like himself, but you were feisty and stubborn—according to Uzui—and you had a bad habit of getting so frustrated with things, to the point of shutting yourself in and nearly working yourself to death just to prove something. It was admirable in a way. You weren't a quitter, even though you tend to complain a lot—again, according to Uzui—but you were extremely hard on yourself. Uzui had told the group to not take things personally when it came to you, especially if you lashed out or tried to push any of them away. You were going through some difficult things that none of them may be able to understand, especially since you had no memory of your life beforehand, and they should just try their best to be there for you when you need it.

Giyuu knows you want to help the Corps and figure your life out, and you were determined to do so. It reminded him of Tanjiro's strong-will and he liked him quite a bit. He admittedly had a soft spot for him and his sister, even though they haven't interacted much since the day he found them, or saved them on Mount Natagumo. And perhaps it's because they also reminded him of other people... a friend and a sister that he also once had. He briefly saw Tanjiro as he was leaving the Butterfly Estate the day he had met you, well, the second time he had met you. The first time he saw you was on Mount Natagumo and you had passed out, so that didn't really count. But he had ignored Tanjiro as he left the mansion as he was scared... which sounds ridiculous. Why would he be scared? Well, he's afraid to get too close to Tanjiro, his sister, or anyone else for that matter. He's lost a lot and he isn't sure if he could take any more. He looks up, watching soft clouds floating and drifting away, occasionally covering the sun and casting shadows over the land, and as he gazes up at the heavens, he thinks that maybe... just maybe, he would like to get to know Tanjiro and the others more—including you—even if he is afraid. Everyone has lost something, he wasn't alone... and Kyojuro's words from the last meeting play on repeat.

Maybe... he thinks to himself... maybe...

☽☼☾☽☼☾☽☼☾

You grab the letters you wrote last night and fold them neatly, taking them with you as you walk out of your room. You reach your first destination and bend down, slipping the first letter beneath a familiar door, then leave as quickly as you came and drop off the remaining letters in the study room and kitchen. After that you head for the main entrance and once you reach the outside you fill your lungs, taking in the fresh, cool air and slowly release it as you approach the archway that leads to the world beyond the mansion walls. You haven't stepped foot out here since the day you received your sword. It was strange to be standing here once again, your eyes roaming over the land before you. The sound of the forest lining the pathway is hushed except for the occasional chirp, chatter, or rustling of leaves as the creatures within stir with the beginning of a new day. It's mid-summer and you know soon enough that the heat will steadily rise as the day progresses, and you'd like to reach the headquarters before it gets too hot, so with one last deep breath you set out and hope that you'll be able to find your way.

When you were first brought here, you were in and out of consciousness after enduring the alarming events on Mount Natagumo, your mind and body thoroughly shocked to the core. You remember passing out after you had a moment to breathe with a sigh of relief, nearly witnessing one of your friends dying before your very eyes, but he was thankfully saved by a Hashira. You don't remember how you got to the mansion, you can only assume the people who you woke up to surrounding you, poking and prodding at your body to assess if you had sustained any injuries, were the ones to have taken you there. They wore black and white uniforms with face coverings, speaking and moving too quickly for you to question them. Not like you could have asked back then anyways.

But before you were brought to the mansion, you were brought from the headquarters—or so you think. You woke up while being carried here, coming from the left side of the mansion, so you'll go that way and hope to find the headquarters there. It was the only thing you had to go with. Why you were given no details or directions was beyond you, but you don't dwell on it. Instead, you think about how this adventure will be a new and exciting experience for you, trying to copy some of Tanjiro and Rengoku's optimism. You're tired of all of the negativity that you just can't seem to escape. You almost convince yourself it isn't going to be as bad as you think, but you knew it wouldn't be a cake walk. At the very least, you'd sustain some injuries. And this wasn't negative thinking! You were still excited and curious about what was in store for you on this mission, but that didn't mean you weren't going to be nervous, especially since you most likely won't come back unscathed. You were new to this after all, so it was only natural to feel this way and make mistakes.

You have to be realistic, but you aren't going to be all doom and gloom about it... at least you'll try.

A few minutes into your trek you hear the caw of a crow circling overhead, which stops you in your tracks. You shield your eyes from the brightness of the sun as you watch the bird swoop down and come to a stop right in front of you. It flaps its wings and looks like it wants to land on you, so you tentatively hold your other arm out and tense up at the feeling of sharp talons clutching onto your forearm, though they don't pierce your skin. You watch in fascination as its feathers fluff up briefly before settling back down, its head turning to fully face you and stare with dark, beady eyes.

"Are you Y/n, the one being sent on a mission?"

It wasn't the fact that it spoke that made you surprised, no, it was the fact that it spoke in English and with an unexpected smoothness no less. Tanjiro's crow had spoken some English when you first met, but it was a little broken and not much was said. You wonder if the crows are unique and assigned to people who they would be most compatible with, considering this one could speak better English.

"... yes?"

It cocks its head to the side and gives a little nod. "I am your Kasugai Crow, Yume Nisshoku. Follow me to the headquarters!"

With that she takes off and you jump into action, jogging down the path below your new feathered companion. She doesn't fly too far ahead, keeping a reasonable speed as she soars through the sky. You're able to keep up thanks to your training so far, but as the minutes tick by your lungs start to ache with each pull of air. You don't know how far you'll have to go, but you've been training for a few months working on your stamina, so you shouldn't be getting winded so quickly. You just keep losing focus while breathing, which is making this more difficult than it should be. How disappointed would Rengoku or anyone else be to see you already failing at something so simple?

Keep pushing forward, don't you dare stop!

Focus...

In and out, each breath is calculated and filled to the brim with oxygen. You slowly regain your stamina once you shut your brain off, or at least try to as much as humanly possible, which is a feat in itself. Good, keep it up and maybe you won't be a failure after all. Within half an hour you finally spot what you assume to be the headquarters. It was bigger than the Butterfly Mansion, the architecture a bit grandiose, with intricate details throughout the structure that gives it a simple, classic but luxurious look. There are plenty of trees and other lush foliage around, decorating the gardens in a beautiful blanket of green. You walk through the main entrance and your eyes immediately land on a person standing on the edge of the veranda, but it wasn't just any person, it was Giyuu Tomioka.

"H-Hello," you greet him with a little wave. "It's nice to meet you again..."

He ignores the pleasantries and gets straight to the point. "You are to go to a small village and find the demon responsible for the disappearances of young children. Once you find it, you must destroy it and report back."

"O-Oh... okay."

"I am to accompany you, but I will not be stepping in at any point, unless absolutely necessary. You are to do this alone, and shall you succeed you will be recognized as a true member of the Corps, and be allowed to go on missions on your own. Should you fail, however, you will no longer be considered a Demon Slayer. You may still reside in the Butterfly Mansion with Kocho and do other work, but you will not be allowed to accompany your friends when they leave for their own missions."

You... wouldn't be allowed to be with your friends...

If you fail... you'll be stuck here...

You'll be alone...

The weight of your insecurities settle heavily on your shoulders, as doubt gnaws at every fiber of your being once again. You've always been afraid of falling short, of not living up to the expectations of others, and more importantly, of yourself. The fear of being left behind, of watching others move on while you stay stagnated, haunts your every step. The possibility of making mistakes paralyzed you in the past, trapping you in a cycle of self-doubt, but that fear of being left behind has become a catalyst for change. You've come to realize that your doubts and fears were hindering your growth and potential. You've sought ways to overcome it, to break free from the chains that bind you. You've just begun challenging yourself to confront them and embrace the possibility of failure.

But now, you absolutely cannot fail.

This was important and would have serious consequences.

Everything you've been working for was going to be put to the test. You feel as if you are teetering on the edge of a cliff, where one wrong move would determine your fate. Will you fall into the abyss or be able to grasp the ledge and pull yourself back up? Should you fall it would truly spell death. And if not death, it might as well be close to dying, for you'll be broken and left behind with no one to pick up the pieces.

You don't want to be alone—you can't.

You have to do this and succeed, or you'll lose the only people you have in this life, your friends... your family. Why would they waste any time on someone of your stature? They're all so strong and skilled in what they do. But you? You can't even compare... you're just a nobody.

Someone weak...

Someone strange...

Someone worthless...

If you could no longer be with any of them... it would be the end for you. As dark as it was, you would have no purpose or reason to continue in life and you could not stand it, the mere thought of being left all alone sent icy, cold shivers down your spine. It comes to you in that very moment, why you've felt like this and had such strong, visceral reactions to these thoughts of failing and abandonment. It's because of memories that aren't yet clear... but you can feel them. Like a hot iron, they've seared painfully into your mind and left behind a reminder of their agonizing touch.

You yearn for companionship, for the reassuring presence of someone who could understand the turmoil within you. The fear of being left behind, isolated in your struggles, weighs heavily on your fragile soul. You fear that your failures will drive away those you cherish most, leaving you with nothing but the deafening silence of solitude. But you don't deserve them, so you might as well save yourself by pushing them away first—before they can do what those before them have done. It was inevitable, isn't that right? So why are you doing this...

ᴳᶦᵛᵉ ᵘᵖᵎ

No, not again... you've been through this before!

ᴺᵒ ᵒⁿᵉ ʷᵃⁿᵗˢ ʸᵒᵘᵎ

Your anxiety paints vivid pictures in your mind, distorting your perception of the world around you. You doubt your worthiness of love and friendship, convinced that you're only burdening others with your presence. Every smile directed your way, every gesture of kindness, was taken with a hint of suspicion and self-doubt. All because of the past, you've come to believe that everyone would eventually tire of your ineptitude, leaving you to face your demons alone. The weight of sadness envelopes you, whispering cruel lies into your ear. It tells you that you're unworthy of belonging, casting a suffocating shadow over your heart. It tries to convince you that your struggles were permanent, that success and happiness was an illusion meant for others, but never for you.

The more you listened, the more your world narrowed, shrinking to the confines of your anxieties.

ʸᵒᵘ ᵃʳᵉ ᵃ ᶠᵃᶦˡᵘʳᵉᵎ

ʸᵒᵘ ᵃʳᵉ ⁿᵒᵗʰᶦⁿᵍᵎ

No... it's not true!

Beneath the surface of it all, you possess a strength that remains unyielding. Even in your darkest moments, a flicker of hope had danced within you, urging you to seek support despite the vicious monster that was your own mind, as it tried to drag you down into the depths. But you're determined to break free from the chains that have wrapped around you, and you've already taken some steps to achieve that goal, although you still have much to learn. Sharing some of your fears with those you trusted—who offered guidance and understanding—had been one step. You've realized that you're not alone in your struggles and discovered that many others face similar battles, and through their own stories, you've found a sense of solace and camaraderie. You have a support system of strong, good-natured souls who have all embraced you with open hearts. They've seen beyond your fears and shortcomings, recognizing the strength within you. They listened without judgment, extending a helping hand whenever you stumbled.

You're still standing because of them. You're able to take these steps because of them. And with each step forward, your fear of being alone has begun to lose its grip, replaced by the warmth of connection. You know now that you aren't unworthy, you aren't weak, and that they wouldn't leave you—even if you fail. You have to believe in that, and believe in them, just as they believed in you. You have to push through and do your best to succeed, to make them, as well as yourself proud. What felt like an eternity of you spiraling through all those thoughts were only mere moments. You straighten up and firmly hold his gaze, setting your heart ablaze.

You got this.

"Very well," you say, releasing a soft breath. "When do we leave?"

He reaches to the side and pulls out a sword sheathed in a plain scabbard, handing it to you. "Now..."

☽☼☾☽☼☾☽☼☾

Tanjiro's eyes slide open and he immediately feels like something is off. He sits up and as he takes in a breath he notices that the air is different. It's faint but he can smell traces of your scent lingering very close by. His gaze turns to the door and falls to the floor where a piece of folded paper lies. You've never written a letter before, or rather you've never written a letter and given one to him or anyone else that he knows about. That odd feeling rises along with him as he slips out of bed and treads over to the paper. He picks it up and carefully unfolds it. The first sentence addresses him, Zenitsu, and Inosuke but the words that follow after cause a sinking feeling within his heart and stomach, as his eyes quickly rove over the letter. His fingers crumple up the edges as his grip unknowingly tenses with each word that he reads, until he feels like he can no longer breathe and he forces himself to stop. He briskly walks over to where Zenitsu and Inosuke are sleeping and grabs their shoulders, shaking them with vigor as he calls out to them. Zenitsu startles awake, his face scrunching up with worry as he notices the almost frantic look Tanjiro wears, while Inosuke grunts and grumbles irritably and tries to shove him away.

Tanjiro's hands keep pulling at Inosuke, trying to get him up. "Wake up, Inosuke! This is important!"

"Tanjiro, what's going on...?" Zenitsu sits rigid as his own heart rate picks up in pace, second-hand anxiety crawling all over him like spiders, making his skin prickle. Tanjiro never acts like this. "Is s-something wrong?"

"Leave me alone, will ya," Inosuke rumbles, then shoves his head under his pillow.

Tanjiro rips the pillow away which annoys him enough to flip over and bristle up. He was going to chew him out but his glare turns into a confused scowl as he takes in the way that he and Zenitsu are acting. Now that Tanjiro had Inosuke and Zenitsu's attention he presents them with the paper that was slipped under their door and left for them to find. Zenitsu takes it from him and starts to read it, his expression quickly morphing to display a series of emotions—going from confusion, to unease, then to dismay as he pales, all color draining from his face. He never thought he would dislike receiving a letter from a woman in his life so much... but here he is, detesting that the first, and now possibly the last one that you've written, was to declare your sudden departure.

"No, no way! This can't be real... tell me it isn't real!" Zenitsu waves the paper around wildly, jumping to his feet to encroach Tanjiro's space. "This is just another one of her pranks, right?!"

"What's with the blathering?!" Inosuke snatches the paper from Zenitsu and frowns as he tries to make sense of what's written on it. He tosses it to the side though when he can't quite comprehend what it says, but Tanjiro easily catches it, and he snarls in agitation. "What the hell is this? What's with your faces, huh?"

Tanjiro looks strange with such a serious face, he wasn't supposed to have a deep line from frowning so hard, nor was his jaw supposed to be clenched enough that when he speaks the words come out strained. It was unnatural, unsettling to see and hear him look so disconcerted. He stares at the paper in his hand for a moment before he lets his hand drop to the side. Zenitsu is shaking with energy, fidgeting restlessly as he awaits Tanjiro's answer, which he already knows... but he hopes with everything in him that there's a small chance that it wasn't true. He had focused his hearing and hasn't heard a single sound which he was familiar with that was your own, which only cements his fears when Tanjiro confirms what he was desperately hoping against.

"No," Tanjiro says flatly. "She's really gone..."

Your scent and sound were not to be found. You were no longer at the mansion. You left for a mission, one that was sprung upon you in the dead of the night, requesting for you to dispatch immediately in the morning.

"Who's gone?" Inosuke asks.

"Y/n..."

"What? What do you mean?"

"He means that she's gone," Zenitsu snaps at him unintentionally. "She was sent on a mission without us!"

Inosuke stands there and blinks, shaking his head like he had heard wrong. "That doesn't make sense! Isn't she still training?"

"Yes, and that's precisely why we're so worried! W-What if she gets lost, or hurt, or.. or something worse!? Why would they do this!?"

There's a knock at the door and they all turn as Shinobu comes in. Her usual smile is nowhere to be found, her expression set straight. Zenitsu is the first to jump towards her and demand answers, while Tanjiro hands her the piece of paper he's been holding onto. She gives it a once over and sighs, setting the paper down on a nearby desk.

"I see that you all are already aware of Y/n's expedition..."

"Yeah and I want to know why she was sent without us!!" Zenitsu demands. "She can't be out there all alone!"

"This is her mission, and her mission alone, as requested—"

"That doesn't explain anything! We all know that she is still training, and yet she's chosen to go out on a mission, and put herself in danger?! This is outrageous!!!"

"Are you finished? Because I was not done speaking, so if you would excuse me, I'd like to say what I was going to say before being interrupted," she says sharply. "This mission is to be treated as her Final Selection, to see if she truly is capable of working and carrying out her duties as a member of the Corps. I too have some concerns but there is nothing we can do. The hard truth is that if she is unable to fight, protect herself, let alone other people, and slay demons, then she is not fit to be a Demon Slayer and can not be allowed to continue to be one."

Zenitsu's mouth hangs open, his eyes wide in shock, as his hands clench to his sides before his face screws up. "But she's still training! How is that fair?!"

"The Master has deemed her ready, as reported by Rengoku's observations—"

Inosuke has remained quiet thus far but he finally speaks out, his voice bellowing in bewilderment. "Hah? Bug-eyes said she was ready!? What the hell?!"

"Please stop interrupting me, or I'll be forced to sew your mouths shut," Shinobu says with pseudo sweetness, her eyes narrowing with a tight-lipped smile. "As I was saying, Rengoku has been reporting to the Master. Although she has only been training for a few months he has remarked that she has made notable progress, however, she is starting to become stagnant. The Master believes that in order for her to improve and become an accomplished slayer, she must go out and have her abilities tested in a real case scenario—"

"WHERE IS SHE!?" A voice booms, echoing throughout the entire mansion.

It almost looked like the structure had actually shook with the sheer force of volume that was just projected. Shinobu huffs, irked with the constant disruption and purses her lips, holding her arms in front of her as she waits for the man who was no doubt going to cause trouble.

There's a cacophony of shrill voices that chase after the first, each pleading and sounding thoroughly rattled. "P-Please, Lord Tengen, slow down! And you mustn't yell, you'll disturb some of the patients around here!"

The door that was left ajar is now thrown open and slammed against the wall as Tengen stomps inside, his head swiveling from side to side. Zenitsu shrieks at the explosive display and shrinks behind Tanjiro, who slightly jumps at his entrance. Three young girls clamor after the hulking man but stop at the doorway and stand by idly as he approaches Shinobu. The atmosphere in the room becomes heavy, saturated with a palpable sense of tension, anger, and worry as the two Hashiras come face to face. Every breath seemed to carry an undercurrent of unease, as if the very air itself had turned noxious.

"Uzui, I will only ask once that you refrain from battering down my doors..." Shinobu admonishes coolly. "Now, what has gotten you so worked up that you see fit to cause a commotion?"

"You know exactly what's going on, so you're gonna tell me what I want to know. Where is she?!"

"I'm afraid I don't care for your tone and I will require you to lower your voice before I answer any of your questions."

He ignores her and brings a letter out, thrusting it in her face. "Why do I have a letter telling me that she's leaving?!"

An air of uncertainty envelopes Tanjiro, causing him to fidget nervously with his hands. He's never seen Uzui look or sound so furious. His anger was just as intense as his high-spirited, flamboyant normal self. He doesn't know what to do or say right now, he actually thinks it's probably best that he doesn't do or say anything for the time being, so as to not set either of the Hashira off and make them angrier than they already are. Zenitsu shuffles backwards and pulls him along by the back of his haori, dragging Inosuke with them as well, just in case he gets in the way and makes matters worse.

"Because she has," Shinobu replies.

"WHY?!"

She sighs once again and gives him a solemn look. "She's going on a mission to prove her worthiness of being a Demon Slayer. You didn't actually think she would be allowed to join and not be made to actually work, do you?"

"Of course not! But she's still under training, so tell me why she's being sent out so soon!"

"I've already told you why, I apologize if my answer wasn't satisfactory enough, but it is what it is. I understand that you are worried, but you must trust that she is capable of accomplishing her job. She's chosen to do this, after all. Rengoku has praised her efforts thus far, but she's stuck and needs to do something that will help her move forward. And you've said so yourself, that she is very smart and stubborn, so I believe she will be more than fine. You'll be glad to know that Tomioka will be accompanying her, so she is not completely alone and will be perfectly safe should things go awry." She smiles a little but it quickly falls back down. "However, if she cannot handle this and he must step in... then she will be stripped of her duties as Demon Slayer, but she will still be allowed to reside here and complete other work if she wishes."

There's a pregnant pause as he digests this information, his mind running a million miles. A deep sigh escapes him as he rubs at his temples and starts to calm down. It somewhat helped ease his mind that Tomioka would be with you, but he still didn't like it. If you failed, you would be so disappointed and probably shut yourself in again. He can't help but worry about this... Gods, he really hopes that you'll do fine. He does believe in you... he's sure you could do it... but with time. He isn't sure if you're quite ready yet to face something like this, as you've haven't even been doing this for long, and most people had at least a year's worth of training before they joined.

"Fine, but if anything happens, I'll—" His mouth hangs open as he seems to think for a moment. He shakes his head and then mutters. "Never mind, just let me know when she returns..."

He saunters off and there's another outburst of yelling as Mitsuri comes barreling into the room now, waving her arms around with tears streaming down her reddened face.

"Wahhhhh, everyone, Y/n is gone!" She throws herself at Shinobu and whimpers into her shoulder. "Oh, my heart can't take it, I miss her already! I'm so worried! Do you think she'll make it?! Wait, no, I'm sure she'll make it.. but I'm still afraid she'll get hurt!!"

Shinobu lightly pulls her away and smiles, trying her best to reassure the woman that everything would be fine—not to mention that you had Tomioka with you as a precaution—and you'd be back before they knew it. Mitsuri's chin wobbles as she pouts and is forced to accept Shinobu's words, as there was nothing to be done. It would have happened sooner or later, you had wanted to do this—perhaps this quickly—but you had accepted it. She and Shinobu leave and the boys decide that it's probably best for them to find things to do as well, instead of moping around and worrying over the situation. They had to believe in you and that Tomioka would keep you safe should anything happen.

☽☼☾☽☼☾☽☼☾

Although it's been more than an hour of traveling with Tomioka, you're filled with a renewed burst of energy as you enter a forest, finally escaping the wide open plains and scorching heat of the sun. The dense foliage creates a lush green canopy above, the sunlight filtering through the towering trees casts intricate patterns of light and shadow upon the forest floor, a tranquil ambiance taking hold. The air is crisp and infused with the earthy fragrance of moss and foliage. You continue your journey in complete silence, occasionally encountering wildlife that calls this forest home. A playful squirrel darts across your path, disappearing into the dense undergrowth. A colorful butterfly dances gracefully in the sunlight, its delicate wings creating a kaleidoscope of colors as the beams of light reflect off of them. They remain mostly hidden, but the forest is alive with the presence of all sorts of wonderful creatures, coexisting in perfect harmony. It's beautiful out here and so peaceful, but you know that even in places like this, something dark and sinister could be lurking out of sight. You encounter a small babbling brook as you wander along the narrow trail, lined with vibrant green ferns and delicate wildflowers, the water is crystal clear and you almost have half a mind to jump off course to go play in it, feeling the cool and refreshing liquid splashing on your heated skin, but you have to remind yourself that this wasn't some fun trip you were on.

You're on a mission and need to be serious.

Your eyes drift off and catch Tomioka's gaze for a brief moment as he looks at you from the side, but not a single word is spoken still, and he doesn't acknowledge you any further than that. His expression thus far has been completely indifferent, which only makes you more curious about him. You didn't sense any sort of animosity but he was certainly an odd fellow, very quiet and almost detached from the world, and yet, his movements were relaxed—smooth and flowing like water. You've learned he was the Water Hashira, which made a lot of sense because he truly was mysterious, powerful, and very gentle. Although the last part is pure speculation, you feel like it was a correct assumption to make. He didn't strike you as someone who was cold or cruel, especially since he was a Demon Slayer—and a Hashira at that—which you'd expect would require a certain level of merit and integrity. 

After another hour of travel the density of the forest starts to thin out and open back up to rolling hills of long grass, and in the distance a small village sits at the base of a mountain, which is much smaller than the one you were on with the spider demons. You aren't left to wonder for long if this is the village you're meant to be at.

"We should reach our destination within a few minutes." Tomioka finally breaks the silence, speaking lightly. "Prepare yourself..."

A few minutes? It still looked quite far, but you soon find out why he said that, as his pace picks up and you're left to sprint after him to catch up. Running truly wasn't your forte, but you had to keep pushing forward and ignore the burning in your lungs. You'd have to get used to traveling for hours or even days from now on if you were going to be a true Demon Slayer. Hopefully by then you'd be a lot stronger and be able to move for longer periods of time without getting exhausted so quickly. You're thankful for the little amount of training you do have though, otherwise this would be nearly impossible. You'd probably have keeled over within the first hour of this journey, had you not worked up your stamina. Oh, yes, and your breathing... you need to remember to breathe properly.

Rengoku had to remind you to focus and not hold your breath so much whenever you worked with him. It happened a lot more times than you'd care to admit, which is highly embarrassing, but you felt justified in forgetting when the person who was telling you those things was the cause of your problems. Damn him and his pretty, flaming eyes and blinding smile! It was warm and infectious, much like Tanjiro's, who always leaves you feeling brighter after spending time with him. Zenitsu could brighten your day just as easily with a simple smile, and his little giggles are just as cute, and you can't help but want to squish his cheeks. It's so unfair, why were they all so precious? They were like little rays of sunshine. And Inosuke... he was a different kind of cute, like a feral animal that you can't help but want to keep around and tame. It was quite the juxtaposition, how could someone be so aggravating and endearing at the same time? A sudden urge to fight him pops up as you're reminded of him avoiding you the last few days. That little shit, he's always stealing your food, dragging you into odd scenarios, or fighting something—not excluding you.

Oh yeah, you were definitely going to try to pummel him when you got back, if you make it out alive that is. And now that you're thinking about all of them, your mood sours just a smidge, as you start to miss them even more than before. You also wonder how Mitsuri and Uzui handled the news...

"The first thing you need to do when we arrive in the village is to figure out what exactly is going on by gathering intel," Tomioka speaks again, breaking you from your thoughts. "Remember, stay alert at all times," he pauses and adds, "and be careful."

Your head shoots up and you're almost startled to find that you're not that far from the village and you would be facing your first mission very, very soon. This was it... the moment you've been working towards, but could you do it? Shinobu said it shouldn't be too difficult, but that doesn't make you feel any better, it almost makes it worse knowing that this would be considered 'easy'. You understand it was most likely picked based on your skill level, which only makes you wonder just how low that is. Should you even be bothering with any of this? Tanjiro and the others had trained for over a year or more, and they still had a difficult time at Final Selection, so how are you going to do this?

Oh well, you're here now. You've come this far, so there's no use in overthinking any of it. You want to do this, and you have to, so you just need to focus and try your best to accomplish what you've been sent out to do.

In no time you're stepping into the village, the road crunching beneath your feet as you slow back down to a more steady, comfortable gait. Your eyes roam over the buildings and the few people meandering outside, carrying about their business. You look to the side, your brows furrowing when you don't find Tomioka there—he's gone. You spin around and search for him but then you remember that he was only sent here to accompany you. You were on your own, you couldn't rely on him to help you unless you absolutely needed it—most likely in the event of possibly dying.

You're met with a few odd stares as you stand out from the rest of the people scattered throughout the streets. The air hums with hushed tones, some of the more elderly people gathering around to gossip about your appearance. If they were speaking any louder, you would be able to know what they were saying, but it didn't take much to discern their exact thoughts. Why is a younger woman who not only wears different clothing, but also has different features, coming into this village? Surely someone knows you're with the Demon Slayer Corps and that you're here to help. Children have gone missing, and it's most likely the doing of a demon, so there has to be at least one person that noticed and asked for help. Unless the Corps was the only one to notice somehow and decided to help, whether the village knew or not. Either way, you're here and you have to get started now. Hopefully the children that have gone missing aren't already dead and you can save them somehow.

Alright, it was time to get started. You need to gather some information and figure out what's going on. An older woman walking by grabs your attention and you try to introduce yourself but she ignores you entirely, and keeps walking away, holding her head up high. Okay... never mind. You scan the area and spot a girl probably just a couple years younger than yourself, so you approach her slowly and try not to spook her.

You clear your throat, holding your hands in front of yourself. " Excuse me... may I speak with you for a moment?"

Her brows raise as she stares at you with a scrutinizing type of gaze, her mouth drawn in a straight line. She steps away, still looking at you and your face falls as she keeps stepping away, throwing looks over her shoulder at you as she walks away. You stand there awkwardly, shaking your head at the rude behavior. You shouldn't be surprised, but has no one around here seen a foreigner before? You very well could be the first one, so you try not to take it to heart and ignore the unpleasant feeling of being whispered about and gawked at by some people. It's fine... it doesn't matter, what matters is doing your duty. You're positive someone will be of help and not make you feel like an oddity.

Over and over, you try to speak with all kinds of people, young and old, but they either scoff at you, stare, or ignore you altogether.

This was already panning out to be difficult...

But you don't stop trying to speak to people. You push forward, ignoring every whisper and stare sent your way. As you wander around you spot a little boy, who points a finger at you, eyes wide in curiosity as he tugs at his father's hakama. You smile at him from across the street, but his father pulls him away and sends a small glare your way. The little boy continues to look at you as he is dragged away, waving his hand a little before they go down another road and disappear. What a sweet, little boy... he meant no harm in staring at you and found you intriguing, children were always very curious and drawn to new things, so you didn't mind at all. What bothered you was his father pulling him away, clearly displeased with his son interacting with a stranger—a foreigner—someone who didn't belong here.

Your smile stays for a few moments, only because of the cute way the boy had waved to you before he and his father left, but your smile slowly fades as you're left to stand there alone. You definitely feel like an outcast, very isolated and dispirited, but you have to ignore these feelings and keep trying no matter how much it bothers you to be treated so callously.

Walking further down the road, you look around the various buildings, peering inside the little shops and admiring all of the sights and smells. A low grumble coming from your stomach has you licking your lips, suddenly reminded of how hungry you are. You forgot to eat this morning and it was now around noon, so you were definitely starting to feel the pangs of hunger kicking in. The street is filled with all kinds of smells, but there's one that overpowers the rest and it leads you straight to a yatai (A yatai (屋台) is a small, mobile food stall in Japan typically selling ramen or other food. The name literally means "shop stand") . The owner is a middle-aged man, who's busy at work preparing dishes consisting of rice, fish, cooked vegetables, and broth/noodles. The smell has your stomach growling and your mouth watering, so you approach the cart with a small, hopeful smile and gain the man's attention. He turns and his eyes flicker over you for a moment, but he doesn't seem to care about your appearance as he simply rests his hands on the wooden top, nodding his head.

Finally, someone was treating you like any other person!

He patiently waits for you to make up your mind as your eyes hungrily roam over the display, tapping your fingers against the wood and biting your lip. "Hmm, I don't know what to get..." you murmur. "I'm so hungry and everything looks amazing."

The man cracks a small smile and suggests, "How about a little bit of everything, then?"

Your eyes widen as you look at him. "Really...? I can do that?"

"Of course!"

"Oooh, yes please! That sounds great."

He chuckles and starts scooping some rice into a small bowl, placing a strip of fish and vegetables on top, then sets it down in front of you. He turns back around and ladles a generous helping of broth and noodles into another bowel, then places that down, along with a pair of chopsticks and a silver spoon. You pick the chopsticks up, your fingers grasping the thin utensils a bit clumsily, but you can't seem to hold onto them correctly so you give up with a sheepish smile and grab the spoon instead. You thought you'd at least try to use the chopsticks but you feel like you only embarrassed yourself, and your face starts to get warm up when you realize that the man had been watching you. He doesn't comment on it though and just smiles as you bring the spoon to the bowl of rice first and take a bite. You hum in glee, savoring the flavors as you chew. You continue to eat and try to slow down so as not to give yourself an upset stomach. It takes around 15 minutes for you to finish everything, the noodles and broth being saved for last. You slurp the last bit of broth down and set the bowl down, quickly wiping your mouth before you lean back.

"Wow, that was the best food I've had all day," you sigh and then chuckle heartily. "Well... it's the first thing I've had, but I'm sure it'll still be the best! I think I'll visit again sometime, unless... you're feeling generous and want to tell me your secrets and recipes?"

The man laughs with you and grins in appreciation, happy someone had thoroughly enjoyed his food. No one's ever complimented his cooking like this before and he was very pleased with your reactions. As you sit there and let the food settle, you're struck by the realization that you didn't have a way to pay him. Your eyes pop and you sit up straight, sucking on your teeth as you nervously watch the man cleaning up your dishes. Your hand hangs in the air a couple of times as you try to get his attention. Once he's done and turns back around, he flinches a little at the sight of your expression. You feel like you're sweating and you grimace at how horrible you probably look, but you try your best to school your expression and not scare the poor man.

"I'm so sorry, sir, but I don't have any money!" You wring your hands together and swallow hard, feeling like there's a stick in your throat. "Is there anything I can do to repay you? I'll do anything, I swear! I was just so hungry and wasn't thinking. I wasn't planning on not paying you! I'm so—"

He waves his hands around, looking bewildered as you ramble and apologize profusely. "Hey, hey, slow down! It's fine, there's no need to cry about it!"

You blink a few times, feeling the familiar wetness in your eyes. Damn, you were going to cry weren't you? You just felt awful and didn't want him thinking you were going to skip out on paying for the food he no doubt worked so hard on. You were many things, but you weren't a liar or a thief!

"I'm sorry," you quickly wipe your eyes. "I just don't want you to think lowly of me, sir. You've been kind and you make incredible food, so I want to thank you and give you proper payment for your service."

"It's fine, really. On the house!"

"What?! No way, I couldn't possibly--"

"I said it was fine," he flaps his hand dismissively, effectively shutting you up. "Listen, you're one of the best customers I've had in years, so don't worry about paying. Your compliments were enough. If you really want to repay me, then you keep visiting to enjoy some of my food, got it?"

"Oh.. yes, sir!" You grin and bow a couple times, showing your gratitude for his generosity. "I'll be sure to come back! I'll also tell my friends to stop by sometime, as I'm sure they'd love your food just as much!"

His eyes light up and he shakes his head at your enthusiastic display. He lets out a huff of air before he cocks his head to the side, planting himself against the wooden counter. "Say, what brings you here, anyways? I've never seen you around before, and I would definitely remember someone like you."

Oh, right! Your mission... you had momentarily forgotten about it while you were busy eating and freaking out about paying for the meal. You purse your lips, biting on the skin that has been repeatedly picked at unconsciously every time you find yourself spacing out and overthinking things.

"I'm here to help," you breathe slowly. "There's been reports of missing children?"

His brow furrows as he nods, a somber look crossing his face. "Ah, yes... poor things. Somethings been comin' in the middle of the night, snatching them away. No one has been able to find the culprit because no clues are left behind. It's like a phantom, it comes in the dead of night when everyone is sleeping and then disappears before anyone can catch it."

You weren't surprised that no one had caught the thing taking the children of this village, as demons were strong and clever beings. You haven't encountered many yourself, but you knew that they weren't to be underestimated, even if they were considered weaker in demon terms. Considering you don't have much experience, you'll have to be extra careful and use everything you know to your advantage. You thank the man once again and walk away, trying to think of the best course of action right now. You don't have much information, which means you can't do anything until you do. You begin your investigation by speaking with the families of the missing children, seeking any clues that might lead you closer to the demon's hideout—it had to be close. As you listen to their heart-wrenching stories, you notice a recurring theme—a mysterious figure, cloaked in darkness, spotted near the edge of the woods before each child vanishes. No one has been able to clearly see it or find any clues to track it down, just as the man with the yatai had said, and they believed it was a spirit or some kind of mysterious animal.

But you knew better. It's why you were sent out here, because you were a demon slayer... well, more like a demon slayer-in-the-making. If you failed you would no longer hold that title and you would no longer be allowed to travel with your friends when they get sent out on new missions. You have to succeed! Not only for your own reasons, but for the poor children and their families. You've always wanted to help, and now that you're actually experiencing this job, seeing and hearing the fear, anger, and pain of these people's voices only makes the fire inside you burn brighter.

You spend hours searching along the outskirts of the village after you speak with the families, hoping that they might have missed something that would give you a clue as to where the demon was hiding out. With nightfall quickly approaching, you finally venture into the dense forest, guided only by the last remaining rays of sunlight. Twisted branches claw at your clothing, and a chill wind rustles through the leaves, carrying with it an unnerving presence. The forest seems to fall silent as you weave through the thick trees and brush, each step echoing with a sense of anticipation as the sun falls below the horizon and the moon takes its place. Following the villagers' accounts, you come across a clearing shrouded in an eerie silence. Symbols are etched into the earth, illuminated by the pale moonlight. Ancient sigils, wards against supernatural forces. It's apparent that someone, perhaps a desperate soul, has tried to protect the village from the encroaching darkness.

Although you don't recognize the symbols or what they mean, you get a strange feeling as you look at them. You felt sad, as if you could feel what the symbols meant. Someone, most likely a parent of one of the missing children, had ventured into the forest and tried to ward off the evil. Unfortunately for them, it wasn't some kind of spirit or animal... it was a demon.

As you trace the symbols with your fingers, the air grows thick with a malevolent energy. Suddenly, a low growl emanates from the shadows, causing the hairs on the back of your neck to stand on end. You turn your gaze toward a massive gnarled tree, its branches contorted like twisted limbs. Summoning your courage, you approach the ominous tree with your hand hovering near the handle of your blade, ready to grab it at a moment's notice. The ground trembles beneath your feet, and you jump as something suddenly reveals itself, a grotesque creature with sunken eyes and gnarled horns—it was the demon.

"What is a little thing like you doing here," it croaks, voice rough and grating against your ears. "Are you going to write more silly, little words in hopes of stopping whatever monster is stealing the children? You humans are so pathetic, thinking words will stop something stronger than you."

Your eyes widen and you take a step back. You were not expecting to see this thing, and you had no clue it was even there until now, as it had blended in with the surroundings. It resembles a tree, with branches sticking out everywhere and the way its body creaks and groans as it moves. It seemed like its body was actually made up of wood, which is probably why it blended in so well. You clench your jaw, holding your breath and willing yourself to not make a noise at seeing this thing. It was... terrifying to say the least, almost uglier than the one you saw in the house with the drum demon.

"W-Where are the children of this village?" you ask, trying to keep your voice clear and unshaken. "You're the one responsible, aren't you?"

The demon hums. "Why do you ask? You're not from the village... Are you perhaps a demon slayer? You don't look like much, it looks as if I could kill you with just one swipe of my vines."

You ignore the way it eyes you and you breathe in, slowly releasing the air before you speak, your hand twitching by your side. "A-Answer me, you ugly, rotting tree..."

It cackles, mocking your inexperienced form and the slight tremble in your voice. "Or what? You aren't a real demon slayer, no, you're nothing like the ones I've seen before. I can see it in the way you hold yourself, in fact, I can smell your inexperience and fear!" It inhales obnoxiously and tilts its head. "You can't do anything to me, can you? I should kill you for even thinking someone such as yourself could even touch me, but I must admit I find this all too amusing... Perhaps I should kill you slowly, break all your bones, one by one and pluck out your eyes, since you find me offensive to look at. How does that sound?"

Ignore it...

Push your fears away...

Remain calm...

Breathe...

You can do this...

Undeterred, you stand firm, straightening your back and taking a single step forward. You continue to demand answers and the release of the innocent children, but it simply laughs and throws its head back, which would have been a perfect opportunity to go for its neck... but it was right, you weren't very skilled and it would probably catch you before you could get close enough. You have to think about how you'll be able to take this demon down before it gets bored and decides to kill you like it had threatened. What was this thing's power? Did all demons have their own unique abilities? You remember Shinobu said that not all demons are as powerful as they may seem, so hopefully this would be the case now. If it has any strong abilities, you'd be screwed for sure...

But you can't give up. You won't cower and run away... you have a job to do and you're determined to do it.

"If you won't tell me where they are," you keep your voice low as you speak, staring at the demon with a hardened gaze, "can you at least tell me if they're alive or not?"

It grins, the corners of its mouth splintering and cracking wide open. "They are... but not for much longer! I'll deliver them to the Lord after I collect a few more," it croons.

The Lord...? Interesting. So, maybe it wasn't very strong? If it wasn't weak, it wouldn't be taking orders from another demon. This thing was collecting children, working for someone else that was most likely going to kill and eat them. It makes you sick to think about the slaughter of innocent lives, but you don't focus on that because there was still hope as they were alive—hidden somewhere—and you were going to save them no matter what it takes.

"Then, I guess I'll just have to kill you before that happens," you mutter.

It snarls, enraged by your boldness and shows off rows of sharp, jagged teeth, but you stand your ground and grip your sword, pulling it out in a one swift motion. You won't lie and say you aren't afraid, but you have to remain strong and try your best to defeat this thing and save the children. You don't even think about the possibility of passing out again from holding the sword. You don't even know if it's yours or a different one either. You just know it's there and ready to be used to dispatch the hideous man-eating monster. You stand before the towering demon, your heart pounding in your chest, and you feel the weight of your inexperience bearing down on you. Sweat trickles down your forehead as you grip the sword tightly, summoning all the courage you can muster. The demon snarls, its crimson eyes gleaming with a wicked hunger. Its twisted horns protrude from its monstrous head, and you watch as its form bends and twists, seeming to grow bigger. You take a deep breath, trying to steady your trembling limbs. Your mind races, recalling fragments of advice you've gathered from Rengoku and the other members of the Corps. It's not much, but it's all you have. You remind yourself that courage and determination can sometimes overcome even the most daunting adversaries. You have to focus and you can't hesitate, as that would only get you killed since your movements would then be predictable.

Without warning, the demon lunges at you with incredible speed, its claws slashing through the air. Instinct takes over, and you barely manage to evade the first strike. Your heart leaps into your throat as you counter with a clumsy swing of your weapon, narrowly missing the demon's twisted form. A jolt of pain shoots through your side as the demon retaliates, landing a powerful blow to your side. The force of the impact sends you sprawling across the ground, but you refuse to give in to the pain and the fear, no matter how daunting the task at hand is. Ignoring the searing pain and the slow trickle of warmth spreading from your side, you scramble to your feet, fueled by a newfound determination. Summoning every ounce of strength, you gather your focus and leap forward, unleashing a flurry of attacks. Your moves are erratic as you lose yourself in the moment, beginning to panic when the demon easily blocks your attacks and lands a few more blows to your body. You quickly refocus, doing everything you can to avoid it at this point.

You were not expecting to battle this thing so suddenly, but that's your own fault. You should have been more cautious and not been so close. The demon grins menacingly, confident in its apparent advantage over an inexperienced foe. Its sunken eyes grow even darker as it lifts its head and takes a sniff, its grin widening sinisterly as it licks its teeth.

"You are a Marechi, how splendid! Those fools, don't they know that with you being so weak, they've sent you to your grave?!"

You pant, holding your sword in front of you defensively. "What are you talking about? Marechi...?"

"You have a rare type of blood, one that gives more power to demons who consume it. Do you really know nothing? You can't be a Demon Slayer, you're too weak and stupid! This is just getting more amusing by the minute!"

"Shut up!"

If there was one thing you hated in the world, it was being told you were useless and stupid. You beat yourself up enough, self-deprecation was your specialty, but to have a demon, some of the most vile creatures to exist, insult you as if it was better than you... it sends you over the edge and you lose all composure. With a battle cry that rings through the forest, you charge at the demon, slashing your sword with all your might. The demon parries your attacks effortlessly, knocking you back with a force that threatens to shatter your resolve. But you push through the pain and insecurities, determined to prove yourself, and protect the village and the children. Each swing of your weapon is driven by sheer will, fueled by the desire to vanquish this abomination. You dodge, parry, and strike with all your might, almost finding a rhythm amidst the chaos. The demon was slowing down and appeared to be distracted at some points.

As the battle rages on, you begin to read the demon's movements, anticipating its strikes and exploiting its vulnerabilities. The demon grows increasingly frustrated, its attacks becoming more reckless. With a surge of adrenaline, you seize the opportunity, landing a devastating blow that sends the demon crashing to the ground. The demon writhes on the ground, its form splintering and contorting in odd angles. You press forward, determination burning bright within you. Your strikes rain down upon the demon, each blow resonating with your newfound strength and resolve. But the demon is not easily vanquished. It gets back up and throws you to the side with a swipe of a long, twisting vine-like appendage. You slam into a tree, knocking your head against the hard wood with a loud crack. You see stars as you fall to the ground, your breath catching in your throat. You hold your head and blink, trying to clear your head, and from the corner of your eye you think you see a flash of colors and patterns—red, green, and orange—but it disappears before you can see clearly again. You get up on shaky legs, your body screaming in pain, your head throbbing unbearably. You wipe your face, your arm coming back with red smeared across it, but you don't care.

The demon stares at you and seems to be enjoying this greatly, taking delight in the way you sway while trying to stay upright.

Don't... give up...

Breathe...

Everything you've been told and have learned thus far has helped keep you alive, but just barely. You have to figure out a way to trap this demon so it can't attack you anymore, and so you could kill it, otherwise you're done for. Your limits are already being reached, this was becoming too much for you, but you desperately wanted to continue this fight and succeed.

You can't be a failure...

You can't be alone again...

You have to get stronger!

You shift your feet, planting them firmly against the uneven ground and get back into a stance, letting out a puff of air as you stare back at the demon. Blood slowly drips from your brow, down the side of your face and you wipe it again, smearing it everywhere. Your lips crack open with a disturbing little grin and you grit your teeth, looking borderline psychotic as your eyes blow wide open. Your body vibrates with energy and you feel an odd mix of heat and cold. By the way the demon cocks its head to the side, slightly leaning back, it's apparent it was not expecting you to act so strangely, let alone still be alive. It's quiet except for the sound of your ragged breathing and the subtle creaking of the demon's armored body, and then, everything erupts as the demon launches at you once again. Your sword and its claws strike together, clamoring and sending echoes throughout the woods. Its strength seems inexhaustible, and its attacks grow more ferocious with each passing moment as it becomes more enraged. You stumble and falter under the relentless onslaught, feeling the weight of your inexperience bearing down on you.

However, deep within your spirit, a newfound determination sparks like a flame. You think of the innocent villagers and children who relied on you to protect them. And you thought of the faces of your loved ones, your family, all waiting for you at the Butterfly Mansion. Drawing strength from their unwavering trust and support, you summon a burst of energy that surges through your veins. With newfound power, you renew your assault on the demon, striking with precision and purpose. You don't know how you're doing it, you're too far gone in your own rage and determination to succeed. Blow by blow, you weaken its defenses, driving it back further into the dark recesses of the forest. The demon snarls and roars, but you stand your ground, refusing to back down. You exchange blows, and luckily for you, the demon's attacks held less force than the first few. Or maybe you were just numb to pain and couldn't feel anything anymore at that moment.

The battle continues and you start to grow exhausted, you're losing momentum and you aren't making any progress. You're in a stand-still, just pushing each other back, so you need to do something now and do it quickly. Your eyes flick around the area and you get an idea. As the demon rears the vine-like appendages back, you dart away and run where there's more trees. You look behind you, making sure the demon is still after you. The vines shoot out and you weave in-between the trees, your heart pounding loudly in your ears as you dodge the vines and continue to run around. You weren't just running around mindlessly though, you had a plan, and it seemed to be working. The demon's vines chase you in the woods and you turn on your heels, heading straight for the demon once again. Its vines come after you and you circle around it, ecstatic to see that the demon was too stupid and enraged to realize what was happening. You dart around, dodging and weaving around it as you avoid the vines. You grab onto the vines as they shoot past you and then rush towards it.

"Hey, you can't be a demon," you holler as you run circles around it with the vines, avoiding its weaker attacks, then sprint a couple feet away from it.

"What's that supposed to mean!?"

You laugh as its expression grows irritated. Smirking, you spin back around to echo the very words it said to you earlier. "You're too weak and stupid!"

Its expression gets angrier and it tries to move, and you watch with satisfaction as it seems to realize what's happened. It had been too angry and lost its concentration, which gave you the chance to capture it with its own vines. It writhes and roars. It tries to pull them free as you approach but you quickly close the distance and raise your blade as you leap into the air. Finally, with one last resounding strike, the demon lets out an anguished howl as you land the blow and slice down, severing its head from its neck. You stumble to your hands and knees as you land back on the ground, watching as it slowly dissipates into a cloud of dark ash.

"No! No, how can this be?! Impossible!! You're weak!! You're nothing!!"

"The only weak one is you..." you hiss coldly. "You were turned into a demon, and yet... you still couldn't defeat me—a girl who has very little experience, might I remind you—so shut up and tell me where the children are!"

"You little brat! I'll kill you! I'll kill you—"

"Never mind, I don't need your help. Clearly, you're incompetent. I can find them on my own."

The demon tries to speak one last time, but it's too late and what remains of him finally blows away. The air clears, and silence descends upon the battlefield once more as you get back up. You stand alone, battered and bruised, but victorious. Exhausted but elated, you take a moment to catch your breath, nearly falling over again as you hold onto your side. You feel everything and nothing at the same time, your mind and body slowly coming to terms with what just happened. It was a grueling battle, but you overcame your lack of experience through sheer determination and unwavering spirit... and perhaps luck.. but you succeeded. Whether it was luck or not, you had defeated the demon and survived the encounter. With newfound confidence, you mentally prepare yourself for the battles that lie ahead, knowing that you'll eventually have the strength to face whatever challenges come your way.

You're a Demon Slayer...

You can stay with your friends...

You won't be alone...

You aren't a failure...

You smile, a small choked out laugh escaping your lips as you take a step forward, then immediately drop your sword and crash. Your sword clatters to the ground as you land on your face, your vision blacking out.

☽☼☾☽☼☾☽☼☾

Taisho Secrets

* The Master has had 'visions' recently. Some evoke feelings of peace and happiness, and some are more unsettling, but he believes they're foretelling great fortune and change within the Demon Slayers, and that the war mankind has been fighting against demons for over a millennium will finally come to an end. He strongly hopes and believes everyone, especially you and your friends, will be the ones to defeat Muzan.

#demon slayer #inosuke x reader #rengoku x reader #tanjiro x reader #tomioka x reader #zenitsu x reader #fluff #friends #nezuko kamado #sanemi shinazugawa #shinobu kocho #choose your ending #angst #tengen uzui #pining #jealousy #kimetsu no yaiba #humor #demon slayer fluff #demon slayer fic

[uncanny-tranny]

Hey, gentle recognition for the people who are taking care of themselves in "not aesthetically-pleasing" ways. To the people who have to do things they don't want to because they know they would suffer more if they didn't, to the people who have to brush their teeth with their fingers, to the people who have to use washcloths to bathe, to the people who need to punch pillows or scream into them to express their intense emotions, to anybody ashamed about the way they need to live and take care of themselves.

You are doing the very best you can with the hand you've been dealt. It's not easy, it's not pretty, but it sure as fuck takes so much to do these things. You are doing what is best for yourself, and I, for one, think you deserve to be proud of that. Self-care isn't easy. It isn't pretty, often, but it's something you shouldn't be ashamed of or hide away because it's deemed "grotesque" or "not really self-care (because self-care is pretty and non-threatening to 'normal peoples' senses)"

#mental health #mental health support #self care #like when i was still in school i would end up forcing myself to go because i knew i would feel worse if i hadn't... #...and i don't think people get how difficult that is. it isn't like you choose to be difficult when you struggle #and feeling ashamed about doing these things only makes the situation worse for them (the person struggling) #something i've just been thinking about #i hate this idea that self-care *only* looks like the 'healthy' person's treat days... #...like lighting candles around your bathtub and putting rose petals in the water... #...because that isn't the only aspect to taking care of yourself. sometimes it looks like forcing yourself to bathe and grieving... #...and using rough washcloths because you can't stand the feeling of your own skin and you can't stand how dirty you feel... #...and obviously i'm not saying that mentally ill people doing self-care is the only way it looks... #...but that it really doesn't help us when self-care is almost made into a 'non-threatening' activity that is pleasant and nice-looking #and of course the examples i used in this post were examples and aren't the end-all-be-all

[introspectivememories]

i think one of the reasons i really like bernard and darla is because they met him at a time when he wasn't robin. to me, tim drake has always felt like an amalgamation of robin and tim. and he's good at it y'know? being tim drake and robin but when bernard and darla meet him at grieves he can't be robin. he has to just be tim drake. and he's obviously struggling but he tries for his father. and that's so interesting to me because who is tim drake without robin? he obviously doesn't know either. and we see him explore this in urban legends. he even asks himself in urban legends, "who am i if i'm not robin?" and i don't think it's too much of a surprise that at the end of urban legends, when he's figured out what he wants, he chooses the boy who only ever knew him as tim drake.

#isn't it fascinating??? #tim drake who is always tim and a mask‚ and if he isn't robin‚ then he's drake or red robin or something else #and when then sits down‚ and takes a good look at himself and starts asking questions #who am i without the mask? what do i want in life? who is tim drake? #when he finally figures it out at the end of urb.leg and he realizes what he wants‚ he chooses the boy who only ever knew him as tim drake! #doesn't that make you want to start chewing on drywall???? #doesn't that make you want to sit on your kitchen floor and start rocking yourself as you sob???? #HE CHOOSES THE BOY WHOSE NEVER KNOWN HIM WITH THE MASK *wails* #also disclaimer i feel like i'm simplifying war games a little bit #and like i don't think he stopped being robin until like 2/3/4? months into the school year?? #but like for the sake of the post you kmow what i mean #dc #bernard dowd #timber #tim drake #timbern