#distancing

[newgod-apollo]

It’s about that time again. Time to close myself off from everyone who’s ever tried to get to know me as well as the people closest to me because I feel disconnected from everyone and everything.

#you can ignore this #feelings #late night thoughts #distancing #closing myself off

[omanatascha]

(via GIPHY)

#giphy #hello #good morning #good morning monday #love #hi #covid #friendship #call #miss you #social distancing #i miss you #phone call #connection #cell phone #thinking of you #good afternoon #connected #distancing #distant #mia page #drawingintheforest

[sspacegodd]

Self-distancing in the old world.

#geisha #drone #distancing

[teanicolae]

love in the age of social media | songs of youth

written in 2016 about a situationship in which both of us were more concerned with chasing greatness & stellar twilights than with each other. 🌊🌅

i think i wish i knew

what you’ve been reading,

what bands you’re into

and what dreams you’re weaving. (?)

it’s been one year and a half

since you’ve unfollowed me on instagram

and i’ve deleted you on facebook.

i miss you. (?)

i wonder if you wish you knew

that i’m writing again

that i dyed my hair

that i wear black lipstick and gold hoops.

i haven’t unblocked you out of prideful frailty

but i’ve conscientiously kept up the virtual appearances

one is lured to, follow parting.

i made up with the right friends,

posted pretty selfies,

changed my make-up just rightly.

i smiled widely in pictures

and avoided sharing sad poetry.

but you don’t know.

you don’t know that

i was torn the other day

that i changed therapists

that i’m playing keyboards in a rock band

yesterday,

my friend sent me a screenshot

of your new profile picture.

you looked good.

healthy and polished,

probably my opposite these days.

and you don’t know

that i sway to heartbreak pop at midnight

that i lost my mother’s ring

that on one cold night in london i sat beneath the twinkling lights and i thought

i knew who i was

i think i miss you,

but i’ve almost forgotten you.

i haven’t read your carefully written captions

and i haven’t seen your moles in over a year.

erasing each other from our social media

was a cleansing process.

i can’t even remember why we drifted apart.

i’m just pissed that you haven’t seen me blossoming,

because you unfollowed me on instagram.

and you won’t ever know

that i quit drinking coffee

that i learnt to swim

that i threw myself in the sea, wearing the dress you liked,

and the dress stuck to my thighs

and for once

i ceased to feel unwanted

like your casual distance used to make me feel.

@songs.of.youth on amazon: ~ kindle: https://amzn.eu/d/0duef5g paperback: https://amzn.eu/d/0duef5g 

#poem #poetry #poetess #songs of youth #teenage angst #digital romance #romance #situationship #love #social media #instagram #distancing #lost love #heartache #moving on #poets of instagram #female writer #tea nicolae poetry

[snailsandpuppy-dogtails]

We are alone because we are used to it, that doesn't mean that we want it.

#estrangement #distancing #alone

[mstudi0s]

𝐀 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐢 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐢𝐧𝐠/𝐠𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠.

Being authentically loving and vulnerable to then being met with someone distancing themselves from you with zero explanation is very confusing. It leaves you with more questions than answers and can cause even the most confident of people to second guess themselves. 🍀

Sometimes, there is no distancing, and you're just ghosted with no clarity of why. It is frightening to know that someone can just up and leave you at any given second without an ounce of clarity, especially when you thought everything was fine. It's so disorienting. 🤍

I want you to know that you're not the bad guy. You're not wrong for wanting to have honest communication from someone. You're also not responsible for someone else's inability to get across their needs and wants properly. They chose that, not you. 🍀

The fact that you remained loving, honest, and authentic throughout makes you stronger and a more healed person. It takes emotional maturity and intelligence to be vulnerable and to want to confront issues instead of ignoring them. 🤍

And if someone is using ghosting/ distancing tactics as a means to avoid an issue cause they think that is what's best says more about their emotional maturity than it ever will yours. As much as this distancing hurts, you did nothing wrong. 🍀

And one day they will see that. They will turn around and realize that they're the ones that were wrong and all you were trying to do was form an authentic and honest connection with them through love and care, and they chose to be afraid and run instead of facing it. 🤍

#affirmyourlife #manifesting #affirm and persist #affirmdaily #manifesation #loassumption #loa #law of assumption #manifestsp #sp #ghosting #distancing #psychological #psychology

[aelkitofsunset]

(Distancing)

I wonder if it’s raining

where you are?

It’s raining here

I turn my head

and face the wall

facing the miles

that separate me

from you

  I wonder do your thoughts

turn

towards me

as mine do towards you?

do you face the wall

face the miles

that separate you

from me?

  It’s a silly thing,

a half-thought in a partial drought

that I hope for rain

for you, for you

I know

that I could call

I know

that I could ask

  But it’s a silly thing,

a half-thought in an empty lot

that I dream for rest

for you, for me

I know

so I don’t ask

I know

so I don’t call

  Will everything look different

when the sun comes up again?

Will we emerge

intact

from the wreck of yesterday?

My fears become a certainty

We will all fall apart

And we will never meet again

  Will everything feel new

when the year turns round again?

Will we emerge

intact?

Will the storm pass?

I fear with certainty

everything falls apart

I won’t see you again

  “Everything falls apart”

wasn’t that,

what you said, back then?

And I didn’t want to believe you

I wanted

to dream of a better future

I wanted

To watch the miles melt away

  “I won’t see you again”

you said

with a certainty that made me fear,

That made me believe you

Even as

I dreamed of a better future

Even as

I watched the miles melt away

  Yet still the walls watch me wonder

yet still I wish for rain

wish for rest

Yet still the miles separate

me from you

A lifetime in a distance

I imagine you coughing

alone,

watching the walls

#kit's scribbles #original poetry #original writing #Distancing #poetry #written 3/15/20

[free-my-mindd]

This is how you move on

#daily readings #time #distance yourself #prioritize yourself #self care #isolation #mental health

[zytes]

this manatee looks like it’s in a skyrim loading screen

#misc #I encourage anyone dyslexic to try rotating him in your mind. I can’t do that; which is why I’m asking you to. #also: a bunch of tags are surprised this isn’t ‘shopped #it’s the lighting. backlit by the sun (which is diffused through the water) but also forelit artificially #the artificial light - a flash pack or something - casts a hard shadow under the creatures arm #which normally wouldn’t be possible if backlit by the SUN; you’d see a less-hard/more-fragmented shadow above water #as light sources ‘compete’ in a sense - and since there aren’t any light sources which can outshine the literal sun #it looks a bit weird when the darkest shadow is being cast from any other origin point - which is what’s essentially happening here #I don’t know the mechanics of how light travels through water; but I know the effect is substantial even with relatively short distances #also: it’s been balanced and color corrected by the author of the photo - who made deliberate choices to bring out the full potential #so it’s not like it’s a fresh and untouched export #but the kind of ‘tacked on’ appearance of the creature is a result of the lighting conditions within the image

[jenwien]

4월의 기록.

왼쪽 팔 안쪽 근육이 아팠고. 'ㄴ'형태로 물건을 들때와 수건으로 머리털기, 왼쪽팔응 굽혀서 등뒤로 젖힐때 통증이 있다. 두달여 지속되어 테니스는 잠시 중단하기로 맘먹고 온전히 치료에 집중해보기로. 그리고 모든것으로부터 멀어지기로. 루틴화했던 시간쓰임과 체력단련은 당분간 맨손체조로 하고 대신 주말 아침은 산책으로 채워야겠다. 연두빛 싱그러운 잎들이 피어나고 있지 않은가. 정신적 여유가 없는 나에게 여백이 좀 필요한 듯하다. 그게 여행이든, 산책이든 다른 근육들을 만들어보자. 3개월간.

-

한 유명 프로듀서의 기자회견을 보고, 음 어느쪽으로 고개가 기우는지 애매한 입장이었다. 일반 시민들이 개입할 문제는 아니고 회사와 직원 간의 지극히 개인문제이다. 사회적이슈로 몰아가는건 아티스트 기획사라는 공적인 영역이라 내부 침묵을 깨고 나왔겠지만. 여론조성을 위한 것인지, 기업의 횡포를 폭로하기 위함인지. 사실상 지극히 개인적인 일들이다ㅡ 소유에는 그만큼의 책임이 따른다 하였다. 순수하게 지키고 싶었을까, 집착일지. 본인을 3자 입장에서 바라봐야하지않을지. 물론 소비의 몫은 대중이지만 사내 정치까지 알필요는 없다. 그거 말고도 일반 사람들은 해야할 일들이 많다.

#직장인삶 #거리두기 #distancing #pause

[lunaars-yapping]

strangers once again. How could this be? Haunted by lingering memories

We’ve returned, but you’re not you, and I’m not me.

#something I wrote a while back #it’s about someone I used to know #poetry #poem #original poem #idk you anymore #distancing #things just didn’t work out

[uberdoku]

Learning to Move On; Re-learning to Live

The day has already flown by and it’s no wonder. I’m caught up in my head as usual, and it’s not helping me be productive. The lack of sleep isn’t either, but I’m almost getting used to that what with all the recent stress. I’m doing better than I was the other day–at the time of my last post–though that doesn’t say much lol. My friends have helped me through a lot, especially Chris, and I’m…

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#beloved #debt #depression #distancing #Ed Sheeran #fiance #finances #fortitude #hope #Hurley #learning #life #love #mentality #moving on #Perfect #recap #reflection #sadness #Steph #strength #stress #struggle #the present #therapy

[hamletthedane]

There’s a lot of excellent examples of the difference between a million and a billion, but here’s my new personal favorite from a conversation I had today:

A million minutes ago was April 2021, the height of the COVID pandemic.

A billion minutes ago was November 121 CE, the height of the Roman Empire.

#Other favorite being the length of Manhattan in inches vs the distance between NYC and LA in inches #shut up e #mathematics

[rosewgul]

[mo-mode]

This is all I got from episode 5 actually

#gods: screaming their heads off … *slow clapping in the distance* #CONSENSUS #percy jackson #pjo #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson and the olympians #pjo tv show #percy jackson tv show #pjo spoilers #percy jackson the lightning thief #pjo series #grover underwood #the consensus song

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop