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stateofsope · 25 days

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i don't know what to call this but i'm angry and stanning legends

Aks me what artist I would choose to see if I could choose any artist, dead or alive – and the answer will always be BTS.

Ask me if I’d rather see Taylor Swift live or any other artist you can think of – and the answer will always be Taylor.

No, I’m not choosing Michael Jackson or The Beatles or ACDC or I don’t know who. I don’t like them, okay? I don’t care about seeing them live. If this is your decision, then I’m happy for you. But there’s also nothing wrong about my answers. There’s nothing wrong about liking Taylor Swift and BTS.

Are they fucking mainstream, and literally everyone wants to see them live? Yes, and you know what? I’m so fucking proud of them for that. I stan legends and legends only – I don’t care that you define legends differently or can’t see that they are living legends.

I’m so fucking tired of people trying to tell me that the things I like aren’t what I should be liking. I’m so tired – because guess what, this is my life. I can decide for myself who I like and don’t like.

The funny thing is, I don’t rub it into your face who I don’t like. Especially if it’s someone you like, because I’m a person who cares about others feelings and doesn’t want to hurt others. Are you?

When I was a teenager, I was obsessed with the Jonas Brothers and Twilight. Wasn’t correct either. Wanna know what I started doing? I stopped talking about the things that were important to me. When people asked me what kind of music I liked, I would say, I like something of everything – which was a blunt ass lie. Because I was always a pop-girlie (ups, sorry that isn’t up to your standards). I was always the girl who likes the cheesy as novels and movies that make you cringe.

Yeah, yeah, I had my superhero phase and I still like some of that stuff and I’m a nerd – who would have guessed – but I’d rather be watching Barbie, sorry, not sorry.

It’s so fucking sad, when you think about it, isn’t it? I’m a fangirl. Fangirls love the things they are enthusiastic about passionately. There’re literally psychologists who say it’s good for your mental health. Hm, but mental health isn’t important if it comes to something that makes you feel cringe, isn’t it?

But I stopped talking about the things I like. I would keep it lowkey, I would only talk with my friends on the internet about it – if I talked about something I liked with someone else, I’d make sure it’s something my opposite likes too, because I didn’t want them to feel like I’m too much.

Honestly, hope you hate yourself a little bit for making me like this.

It took me many years to finally change this.

Even when I started liking Taylor, I would hide it. I would not tell people, because Swifties are on everyone’s hate-list. I got to see her live during 1989 tour, but there was no happiness for me from others, no enthusiasm, so my brain turned it into a night to forget and not a night to remember. You proud of yourself?

It took me until finding BTS, until finally being surrounded by people who are like me, who don’t judge you for what you like, but are genuinely interested, to finally start talking about the things I like again. (I mean outside the internet, obviously.)

Do I sometimes worry that I might be annoying my family or friends because I’m talking about BTS again? Yeah, but it’s okay. Because they saved me, because I wouldn’t be who I am without them.

Taylor did the same thing for me, but I never got to talk about it. Now, I talk about it.

I’m so unapologetically happy about the fact that I get to see her not once but fucking TWICE (choke on it) during the Eras tour and that I get to share this experience with my sister. She’s a big part of why I’m sick of keeping quite too. If I must watch her become quite the same why I did, I think I would just die. I couldn’t make it. I need her to be loud about the things that she likes – yes, I will sit there and let her tell me about her horses for hours, even if I have no interests in them, because she likes it and I love her, and nothing is every making me happier than her being happy.

So yes, I’m so sorry if I’m not giving you the answers you’d like to hear to your questions. I’m sorry I will tell you to shut up when you want to tell me how annoying it is that Taylor was shown for THREE FUCKING SECONDS during a stupid football game – but do you hear me telling you that football is stupid? No. Because I know you like it, so I will keep my mouth shut. You should try it sometime.

And if you ask me again what artists, dead or alive, I would do everything for to see them live and my answer is BTS? Do me a favor and ask me why – or if you don’t want to hear my hour-long rant about how amazing they are, just fucking google it.

I promise you, they are bigger than whatever artist you thought about. Just because you saved them in your mind as “some k-pop boys,” doesn’t mean they aren’t literal legends. (Like, just look up their discography and laugh at yourself for calling them pop.)

Same goes for Taylor, because I laugh if you tell me that old-ass band fills that stadium (80k people) and her stadium has less seats – does it scare you, that she’s filling that smaller but still holds 70k stadium three nights in a row and has filled venues with more than 96k seats for several nights? Is it scaring you every of her 152 concerts of just one tour are sold out or that she can drop the entire concert in the middle of tour as a movie and people are still begging her for more concerts, because they want to see her live so desperately?

Just let me stan my living legends and cry about you don’t liking things that are generally more liked by woman in some corner and don’t bring it to my table. I’m not gonna argue with you anymore. I’m not gonna be quite anymore. I’m not a kid anymore, you’re not intimidating to me anymore – you’re just like all other men. Choke on that if you want.

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tommyspeakycap · 3 years

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that little shelby and uncle charlie fic was so sweet, if you could write more of the two that would be fantastic :,-)

first one here, they’re not directly related but enjoy little shelby (probs about 17/18) telling uncle Charlie about her new boyfriend before anyone else.

terrible liar

There’s an extra skip in your step as you easily manoeuvre around the scrap yard that you knew like the back of your hand towards where you knew your uncle Charlie would be at this time in the afternoon, grooming the horses and mucking out the stables with Curly. It’s Curly who notices and greets you first as he was standing outside the stables lifting a shovel. “Hello, miss Shelby,” He greets with a smile and a curt wave that makes you giggle. “I’ve told you Curly, you can call me (y/n).” You insist kindly, offering him your signature sunshine smile, the kind of sweet one that lights up the day for the people who you spend it on.

“Exactly Curly,” Charlie adds, “You’ve known her since she was this big,” he gestured with his hands to the size you were as a baby. “You’re family.” You state. That makes your uncles friend grin largely and almost bashfully, a little bit of kindness never lost on him and you always seemed to have it to spare.

Curly shoots a smile back to you and heads back into the stable before Charlie turns to you. “Better mood today then, love?” He rumbles with a grin as you nod vigorously and blush ever so slightly just at the thought of the reason you were in such a fantastic mood. “Mhm,” you hum gently, doing a little spin as the wind flutters through your pretty dress that Tommy bought you upon Polly’s advising that you had seen it in a window when you were walking through London and your face had lit up. He gifted it to you this morning and your squeal of excitement, followed by a hug that very nearly knocked the stocky man off his feet had set him up for a day where he does everything while thinking about how he can better the life he’s trying to create for his family. He wants to be able to buy you everything you could ever want to see that beautiful smile that ached your cheeks. “And why’s that? Who’s given little miss Shelby her sparkle back?”

Charlie knew full and well that he had asked, but he truly wasn’t expecting the answer to be as it was. He thought that his niece would giggle as she often does and say something about a kitten she saw this morning or a hug and a kind word from her brother or maybe she tasted the most fantastic pastry on her lunch time walk here (and he knew you did have a pastry because there was still a little smudge of chocolate by the side of your mouth that you hadn’t noticed).

Instead, you do not say that. You don’t say any of those things and Charlie is forced to shoot straight up from where he was bent over shovelling fresh hay so quickly he knew he’d have a twinge in his back for a week when his sweeter than candy little niece says;

“Well i met this boy-“

“You what!?” He booms out. Curly’s shovel clatters to the ground in shock at the sudden burst, and you jump back slightly, wincing at his reaction. “Now see that’s what i thought you’d say, but he’s really sweet and i th-“ Charlie cuts you off as he turns to you looking somewhat appalled. You had chosen him as the first person to tell as you felt he might have the most calm reaction. Maybe you were wrong. “Do your brothers know about this? Does Tommy know?”

“Does Tommy know what?”

You literally jump five feet into the air and yelp loudly, whirling around and placing your hand over your heart. “Jesus Christ Tommy! Don’t do that!” You exclaim wildly, a flush dancing over your soft cheeks in your shock. Tommy raised his eyebrows in question and looks between you and Charlie somewhat conspicuously. It isn’t like his uncle to look irked or sound so appalled and shocked as he had when Tommy heard the tail end of the conversation. “Sorry darling,” he says softly, turning to face you, “Are you alright?”

You nod your head and Tommy squints his eyes. “Yeah i’m alright, what’re you-“ His action cuts you off before you have the ability to finish asking what he was about to do. He had ever so slightly licked his thumb and reached out to swipe the small smudge of chocolate from your lunchtime pastry away from the side of your mouth just like he used to when you were little. “Tommy,” you whine in response, thwarting his hand away the best you could. He just shrugs his shoulder. “Sorry love. Force of habit.” He offers, albeit unapologetically as he lights up a cigarette.

“Now, tell me what?” He repeats, his eyes again darting between you, Charlie and Curly. You open and close your mouth a few times, but words fail to find you. Tommy notes that you look to Charlie almost threateningly, like you were trying to master that Polly Gray look unsuccessfully. You were a Shelby, after all. You looked a lot more like Tommy did when he attempted to enforce unspoken words with merely his eyes. Though, you were too soft to appear menacing. “Tell your big brother, ey?” he prompts, “Whatever it is, i can help.”

That makes you cringe, almost wince even, before offering him the most pained grimace you ever had. “Y’know, i really don’t think you can this time. Just lady problems.” The shaky words leave your mouth a whole lot less convincingly than you had anticipated, and Tommy gives you an incredulous look with one eyebrow raised higher than the other and his cigarette paused in between his lips like he were a freeze frame. Tommy doesn’t tend to shy away from typical lady problems. He wasn’t insecure enough in his masculinity for his sisters (or anyone really) natural bodily functions and/or femininity to threaten him, and it certainly did not discomfort him. She dealt with much worse.

Your nerves aren’t lost on him. There are few times you won’t look him in the eye, preferring to focus your head towards the muddy ground beneath your boots. This is usually when you’ve done something wrong, gotten in trouble or are afraid he’s going to be mad at you, or even disappointed. He was rarely either.

“I can help.”

“She’s missing your mother, Tom.”

Tommy looks up at his uncle who had interrupted him. Charlie offers you a small look that told you the secret you entrusted to him would stay as such for now. You didn’t know how long that would be the case, but it seemed as though he would keep it from the lethal hands of the head of the family. “She didn’t want to upset you, talking about it. But she misses her mother.” He explains. In all honesty, he wasn’t entirely wrong. You did miss your mother and you were scared to bring her up, but it was something you had dealt with for such a long duration of time in your life that you had grown accustomed to that nagging pain. Tommy looked at you with eyes full of sorrow. His mother was one of his softest spots in his heart.

Charlie tapped Curly on the arm and the two left you standing there a few feet away from Tommy, who was just kind of staring at you weirdly. “She was beautiful.” He says finally. “Just like you. You have her heart too, love.” He takes a couple steps closer to you and wrap his arms tight around you, “Always hoped you’d turn out more like her than the rest of us. Think we’re all glad you did.” The thought of being like your mother made your head leap with joy. You wished there was a way she could know you today, know you now. Talk to you about boys, this boy, her boys. Help you understand the world. You didn’t have that.

“I love you, Tom.” You say, words muffled against the material of his coat. “Yeah yeah,” he mutters back, “Now off you go. We can talk more later. A scrap yard like this is no place for a beautiful, smart young lady like you.” You giggle at the words he speaks when he lets you out of his arms, that gentle smile of his tugging up the sides of his lips ever so slightly. His nods his head for you to go off, and you knew what he meant was really that he was going to be discussing some business with Charlie that he didn’t want you hearing about for his obsession with your safety and normalcy. “Bye Tom.” You grin, stepping up to your tip-toes to peck a little kiss against his cheek before you all but skip off. Tommy’s heart warms at the sight of his sunshine little sister heading off with such a happy skip in her step and so much love ready to give

He then feels the presence of his uncle appear beside him again. “She really is like your mother, Tom.” He states, a heavy and painful sigh following. “Yep.” Tommy replied shortly. “Better thinking like that than thinking it’s her boyfriend that’s put that skip in her step. eh?”

“You bastard,” Charlie chuckles as he shakes his head, “You know?”

“Course,” Tommy states simply, “My mother was a terrible liar, Charlie.”

“And?”

“Well our (y/n); she is just like her mother, isn’t she?”

#charlie strong #charles strong #charlie strong x niece!reader #shelby!reader #shelby!sister #tommy shelby x sister!reader #tommy shelby x sister reader #peaky blinders #peaky blinders blurb

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trashytummiez · 3 years

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Ahhh I love your writing!! Could you possibly write something with burpy Dabi getting carsick and getting his belly rubbed by someone to help out?

Warning: contains belly kink burps fluff hiccups indigestion nausea near-vomiting tummy rubs

"Dabi stop being gross!" Toga complained with a pout after hearing Dabi let out yet another wet burp. Probably the fifth or six one he couldn't hold in during that entire car ride.

The scarred villain groaned and held his churning stomach painfully while keeping his other hand rested against his mouth. He looked miserably nauseous. Dabi hated riding in cars more than most things in life. It always made him absolutely sick to his stomach even if his stomach was empty like it was right now.

"Unnngh...tell that fuckin' purse to stop drivin' like a blind old lady," Dabi grumbled so groggily he sounded like he was on the verge of puking with every syllable.

"Hey it's not my fault the driving mechanics in GTA suck! It was the only teacher I could afford!" Spinner shouted from the drivers seat.

"Will both of you shut up?" Shigaraki said from the passenger seat whilst playing a game on his portable console.

Dabi's response was a thick burp that managed to force its way past his lips and past his clutched hand. It ended in a strained groan.

"Dude if you're gonna puke just do it already and stop bitching."

"Wha-no?! No don't vomit at all dammit!!" Mr Compress shouted from the backseat. He fidgeted uncomfortably and inched as far away from dabi as he could. "You know I don't do well around that sort of thing! If he loses it I'm going to lose my own lunch!"

Toga frowned and glared back at Shigaraki. "If they puke on me then I'm stabbing you in the eye Tomura..."

Shigaraki shrugged indifferently.

Suddenly Twice raised his hand like a child eager to answer a question he knew the answer to. "OOoh! I know! Lemme rub your tummy until you feel better! Punch him in the gut!!" Twice expressed eagerly until his contrarian personality kicked in.

Dabi groaned both from his aching belly and from Twice's childish exuberance. "...You ain't-" he paused to burp heavily in his mouth, "...touchin' me."

"C'moooooon! I'll be gentle! Honest!" Twice assured him in his happy go-lucky sort of way. "I'll thrash your belly like a soda can!" Then immediately unassured him.

Dabi looked like he wanted to die...and probably take everyone in the van with him. But with a dejected sigh he leaned back and made his stomach stick out when he arched his back. "...Get this bullshit over with."

Twice squealed and clapped happily then growled angrily at himself. He scooted right up against Dabi and slid his hands under Dabi's shirt to place them on his incredibly warm and slightly puffed out tummy. It gurgled unpleasantly that Twice cringed slightly behind his mask.

"Wow it's rough in there!" Twice noted. "Pansy!"

"Shut up'n rub..." Dabi almost growled his patience nonexistent.

Twice did just that. He gently rubbed his hands up and down Dabi's belly using the heel of his palm to knead circles into his tight aching flesh. For all his silliness and contradictions Twice's movement was very precise and careful. His fingers very gently slid across Dabi's stomach fluttering across the surface in a deeply sensual and relaxing way while being careful not to get too rough around his upper stomach where his burnt flesh and stitches were.

Dabi's eyes were rested shut to mask them rolling to the back of his head with relaxation. His tensed body seemed to relax incredibly in response to Twice's ministrations.

"....Hoooohhh shit...that's...that doesn't feel terrible..." Dabi admitted in a euphoric tone of voice.

Twice beamed proudly behind his mask and continued rubbing.

Toga d'awwwed at the scene while even Mr. Compress couldn't help but smile behind his own strange mask proud of seeing Twice earn some praise. And from Dabi of all people.

Twice rubbed circles into the middle of Dabi's stomach brushing his palm against Dabi's belly button while his fingers kneaded slightly into his firm gurgling skin.

The stimulation was enough to get Dabi to turn his head with his fist against his mouth in time for him to give a really deep closed mouth burp that rumbled in his cheeks for a few seconds. Dabi looked visible strained then burped in his mouth again even longer and harder.

"Tomuraaaaaa! Dabi's being gross again!" Toga whined literally as Shigaraki had just finished taking a swig from his can of soda.

The only response she got was Shigaraki burping loudly and indifferently then smacking his lips unapologetically. Toga frowned while Mr. Compress shook his head dismayed by the crudeness of their boss.

"Dude I'm trying to drive!" Spinner whined and rang out his earhole.

"Try sucking less at it," Shigaraki replied never taking his eyes off of his game.

"...Seriously..." Dabi groaned then hiccuped sharply. He hiccuped again then burped so hard in his mouth he immediately clamped his mouth shut. "...Fuck. Somethin' definitely came up with that one..." he mumbled behind his hand.

Twice frowned behind his mask. "Do you want me to stop?"

Dabi waited and kept his hand clamped over his mouth. He shook his head at Twice but still looked really sickly. For a second it looked like he was going to blow which made both Toga and Compress inch back nervously...Toga even pointing her knife defensively at Dabi like a hiker trying to defend against an approaching bear.

His stomach gurgled loudly enough that even Shigaraki looked over his shoulder to see if Dabi was about to spew.

Fortunately instead Dabi's hand blew back as he let out a big throaty burp that left him huffing breathlessly and the others sighing with relief. Shigaraki shook his head like he got ripped off then went back to playing his game.

"...Unnf...nah, you're good Jin. It's just kinda workin' some shit up. You're doin' just fine so...don't stop..." Dabi said. He ordered Twice to keep going but the way he said it implied an unspoken 'please?' at the end of his sentence.

Twice smiled anew when he heard that and kept going. He gingerly rubbed Dabi's noisily churning tummy with both hands while Dabi groaned and savored the relaxing sensation the entire ride on.

It was going to be a long drive and even through the belly rubs Dabi's stomach was still volatile. It would churn intensely and make Dabi burp frequently sometimes burping so hard he worried something would come up with the sterile gas. But the fact that Twice was able to satisfy the others by settling Dabi's stomach filled him with an immense joy. Nothing mattered more to the fractured villain than making his friends happy in any way he could.

...The fact that he got to indulge in his secret tummy kink didn't hurt either...

#kink fic #sick fic #dabi #twice #belly kink #tummy rub #burping #hiccups #tummy noises #fluff #shigaraki #toga #mr compress #spinner #nausea #emeto #emetophilia

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air-in-words · 3 years

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My Sorting Hat Chats Journey

So, hi! I'm back!

I've been doing fun stuff off in the real world, but I decided to talk a little bit about my own Sorting Hat Chats sorting journey, and how it says a lot about self-acceptance, and how understanding who you really are can sometimes only come from being an active participant in life. Here we goooo...

The Beginning

So, my initial sorting was a Burnt Badger/Bird. This had struck me, because I'd never considered myself a Badger in ANY media. I was seen by my friends as a borderline loner, someone who didn't need anyone else. And yet, all the signs were there.

Looking back on my life, I've always migrated in groups, always looked for a nesting ground, and truly that's all I want. A place to nest, a place to rest, where I can feel safe and surrounded by people who love me. But, after a childhood filled with bullying, I found myself embarrassed of my bold face need for friends, and, for some reason, decided getting too close to people for too long was unwise, so I could probably never have a permanent home. And yet, I always found myself in these little "groups," little packs of people that all travel together.

I've always had these friend groups, where everyone knows each other, we all hang out together, and yet it always manages to eventually fall apart. I asked one of my friends how this keeps happening, and who keeps setting up these groups. She blinked sort of vaguely and said, "uh, you do." It was such a strange realization to look back and see myself as the "shepherd" I was, always creating a flock wherever I went. I had always been the spoke of my friend wheels, the only one that was friends with everyone, or actively tried to be friends with everyone. And I would attempt to hold it together, but it would always ultimately shatter, and I'd leave to find and form another. Family is important to me, and it isn't enough for me to bond with one person. I like for all my friends to be friends with each other, for us all to hang out together and enjoy each other's company.

So, although I still struggle, Burnt Badger came out on top, and I believe is still at the top to this day. I still search for belonging. I still search for family. And, yet, my heart seems to have no intention of unburning. Until recently, I had no idea why.

On the other hand, the secondary I received, Bird, seemed to fit like a glove, and was very obvious to me. I've been called the Encyclopedia before, I was made fun of for being caught reading the dictionary like it was a book, and I always seem to have a "fun fact" for every occasion. And all of this seemed to flow directly into me trying to use these facts and this knowledge to win people over, to get to see me as someone that could be their friend, or that I could be reliable as a member of their "group." So, Burnt Badger/Bird simply made sense. The reasons for me avoiding unburning my primary were irrelevant.

The Now

I'd been gone from this side of Tumblr for a bit, and decided to return on a whim. Saw @wisteria-lodge still posting as much as ever, and saw a lot of my posts had been passed around in the meantime (thank ya by the way) and decided to dive back in, because since then, so much of my life has changed. I've had certain people out of my life for a while that were a hindrance on my self-acceptance, I've moved out of my childhood home, and left a job I've had for the past 5 years. I've been forced to constantly LIVE, to make choices, actual choices, and have been offered the chance to be who I truly am, unapologetically.

So, I took the quiz again, curious if I would come up any different.

I got Burnt Badger/Burnt Snake.

This time, I was almost insulted. A flush of memories, of past feelings came to me, most of all the need to push back, to insist in exasperation I'M NOT A LIAR, as though I was tired of defending myself. As hard as I tried, I somehow couldn't seem to get Bird secondary to reappear.... at all. Which was so crazy, because before, that was pretty much all I could get.

So, I went to the experts, the aforementioned wisteria-lodge and @sortinghatchats .

I looked through the Snake secondary tags and found myself lost in memories I had pushed down, so far down even I couldn't find them, wracked with shame and a need to hide this side of myself, something I'd hidden so well I'd pretty much convinced myself it had never existed.

Being a Bird had always been a choice for me. I decided that was what people must want, becoming intelligent, knowing all of these things, showing off, that would make people like me. But, although I can devour books like nobody's business, and I tend to worry and whinge before every major decision, feeling unprepared, I would always find myself falling short of my own expectations. The amount of times I'd promised myself and others to create a plan and study hard, ultimately fail to do so, and then lie to everyone about it was astounding. My public image continued to be "air-in-words the smart girl" but my private image was still LIAR and FAKE.

I would still somehow get all A's. I was very good at remembering facts and excellent at taking tests. I always thought of them like little tricks themselves, meant to trip you up, but if you paid attention, you could figure out the patterns and be able to bluster your way through stuff you might not even fully understand. You can figure out certain words through context clues, and I was always very comfortable trusting my memory with little preparation beforehand. And yet, I still lied and told everyone I'd studied, at least as a child, before high school.

Math was what eventually messed me up, and sent my self-image whirling into the ground. My grades suddenly went from straight A's to D's and F's. My parents were aghast, what had happened??? I was so intelligent, so smart, such a good student. What had gone wrong?? And, although I never admitted it outloud to them, I knew the answer. With math, you can't trick your way out. You either know how to do it and give the right answer, or you don't. And I had never studied a day in my life, never practiced, never worked hard at all. It was my horrible little secret and math had outed me. It continues to out me, because rather than actually work at it and get better, I managed to keep my grades through high school afloat by leaning on my other grades and taking remedial math courses with a teacher who loved me very much and would let me off easy. To this day, honestly, I can barely count. I might actually have some form of dyscalculia, but I know that if I were willing to try a little harder I could get better. But, why would I do that, when this way works just fine? Just coasting through? But, again, no one could know. Not even myself.

Through high school, I began letting people in on my secret Snake, because being a "slacker" was suddenly cool. I still couldn't let my parents know, or the teachers, but coming clean about not being a keener was what earned me new friend groups. I wasn't some weirdo who actually studied all the time: I was a kid who maybe did 60-70% of my homework and slid by on my good memory and general interest in learning. And my reputation. My reputation was key to my success.

College would be the thing that completely threw me to the ground. There were simply too many sirens singing at me, distractions pulling me away from my work. I'd never looked less like a Bird than in college. I was always skipping class, always not studying, and in fact, would openly fail most of my courses. And I just didn't seem to care. I slid into what I guess must have been a sort of neutral zone, but I wasn't happy. The mask was slipping off and I needed out. I couldn't keep up this charade anymore. It was stifling, trying to be a Bird, going to college for a very Bird degree, surrounded by actual Birds, it was all very much what I didn't want. I wanted something less "academic," less, well, boring. Maybe more Snake like.

And, so, here we are. Currently dropped out of college, living in an apartment with my friend, away from my parents' prying eyes, and with a new job that I chose for myself. On the brink of finally understanding myself, and maybe accepting myself as I am.

My Badger primary is burned because of my Snake secondary. Because I thought I was a sham, a liar, a con, and I didn't feel like I deserved to have people close to me. Those traits are bad, and I was a bad person. No one should be tricked by me.

But, after reading some of the stories from the experts and other Snake secondaries, I found this crazy thought, that perhaps being this way isn't a bad thing. Maybe I'm not a bad person. Maybe it's okay to be who I am. Maybe I can use these "powers" for good, and they aren't inherently evil.

So, at least for now, I'm choosing to identify as Burnt Badger/Burnt Snake with Bird Model. Seeing how it feels to accept myself and not try and force myself to be who I think I should be, or who others want me to be (which is a Snake secondary thing in the first place. Lol!)

For Fun, Here's Some Crazy Actual Snake Secondary Things I've Done That I'm Trying to Be Less Ashamed of Now

When I was little, I used to make up crazy stories about things I'd done to seem more interesting. The one that makes me cringe the most is that my uncle has a statue in his backyard that comes to life and goes on adventures with me. My uncle DID have a statue in his backyard that I really loved but no, it didn't (and still hasn't) come to life.

Some of these, I can't explain, like this one, where I somehow had more than one teacher convinced I'd handed in every piece of homework before the one I was giving them the sob story about that day. I literally had a teacher look me in the face, tell me I'd been handing in my homework really well thus far and knew I was trustworthy, so they'd let me slide with no mark against me. Meanwhile, I had missed the homework for the past THREE WEEKS IN A ROW. I just smiled and let it go. Variations of this situation happened throughout high school and college. And, no, I had no good reason not to do the homework. I just didn't want to do it. Lol.

I usually live in the "neutral state" around my close friends, since I think it's disrespectful not to be straight with them, but I have had to turn it on to help them occasionally. One of my friends was having issues with an ex of hers, she was thinking that maybe she should go back out with the guh, and I had been my blunt, neutral self the whole time, telling her flat out that that was a bad idea. But, it wasn't working. "Neutral state" isn't like a Lion's forceful natural state, I guess. So, I decided I would have to push her in a certain direction to help her get through it. I told her she should go back out with him, and although she did sort of call me out for lying, knowing I didn't actually want that, I told her she should if she really think she should. The dude didn't last one date without showing his ass again, and she thanked me for making her do that. Lol.

Finally, at least for this list, my most prized shameful memory, is when I was taking an acting class in college. We were supposed to create a wordless scene as our final, and I hadn't prepared anything, so I just skipped the day we were supposed to do them. But, I decided to show up for the last day to see if I could still somehow pass. She's going through the grades, and looks up and asks me, "I don't have anything written down for you, I can't remember, did you give a performance or not?" I knew I hadn't then, but decided to give one now. I told her yes I had done one, don't you remember came up with a name on the fly. The same friend from the last story was staring at me like she was about to burst. She thought for a moment, then exclaimed, "ah, of course! Yes, I think I remember. I remember you'd done pretty well. What grade did I give you?" I hedged my bets and said A-. Lol. I had never been filled with more pride shame in my life.

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catmaid-john · 3 years

Text

Heyo it em posting chappie three :3 @nachosforfree

Elliott wrote it tho

Summary: Em meets Marion’s sister and her girlfriend, hopefully all goes well

Characters: Em, Marion, Gretchen, Pamella, Adya

Pairing(s): Gretchella

Warnings: uhhh drug and cigarette mention idk? Let me know what needs warned lol

Word count: 903

There was a knock on the door.

Em had been expecting to hear it. Or perhaps the ring of a doorbell. She wasn’t sure if Marion had a doorbell so she couldn’t be certain of which one she would hear.

She was getting off topic in her train of thought.

Gretchen and Pamella must have been here. There was no one else it could be. She was unreasonably nervous about meeting them and she wasn’t sure why. Of course, she did have a checkered history with meeting new people.

She suddenly cringed as she remembered barking and growling at a young couple like she was a dog.

She was sat on the couch watching TV when Marion walked over to the front door to greet their visitors. Em caught a glimpse of red hair and couldn’t help but assume that was their sister’s girlfriend rather than the sister herself. It was possible that Marion’s black curly haired self had a redheaded sister but Em doubted it.

The two guests walked inside, and Em got a better look at them. They seemed nice enough, but Em was still nervous. The redhead carried a bag with her while the girl with black and brown hair seemed to have just finished a cigarette. She put it out in an ashtray on Marion’s counter, which Em hadn’t noticed before. Marion didn’t seem like a smoker, so it must have been there for their sister, or whoever this was.

Marion led the two of them to the living room, a cautious smile on their face. “Pam, Gretchen, this is Em! Em, this is Pamella,” they gestured to the redhead. “and this is Gretchen, my sister!” they gestured to the one with black and brown hair.

Em wasn’t sure what to say, so she put up a peace sign. “Sup.”

Gretchen smirked. “I like her already.”

Em chuckled. “I like your hair.”

“Thanks! I dye it myself. Sometimes Pam helps me.”

“Well, I try,” Pam corrected shyly, rubbing the back of her head with her hand.

Adya suddenly came in. “Hey Aunt Gretchen! Hey Aunt Pam!”

Gretchen opened her arms for a hug. “Adya, my favourite little gremlin!”

Adya crushed Gretchen in a hug and then did the same with Pamella.

“So good to see you!” Pam said.

“How about I get started on dinner?” Marion offered. “I’m making your favourite, Gretchen.”

Gretchen lit up. “Oh my god, you’re making spaghetti? You are my favourite nonbinary sibling.”

“I’m your only nonbinary sibling,” Marion pointed out.

“And?”

Em grinned. Marion and Gretchen seemed to have a good sibling relationship. She wanted that with Adya.

Marion began making dinner while Em got to know Gretchen and Pamella. It turned out that Gretchen and Pamella were both scientists, as was Marion. Em couldn’t help but feel like the dumb one in the room, since her science grade was so low, but she tried not to let it get to her.

“Do you know what you wanna do when you’re older?” Pamella asked.

Without thinking, Em replied, “Smoke weed.”

Gretchen burst into unapologetic laughter while Pamella tried and failed to conceal her amusement.

“Don’t worry, once you’re of age, I’ll hook you up,” Gretchen joked.

Marion sighed at the doorway. “Are you stoners ready for dinner?”

Em thought dinner went well. There was plenty of banter and bonding, and Em really liked Marion’s family.

Once they got done eating, Gretchen and Pamella each had something to give her.

Pamella fiddled with the gift bag in her hand. “Uh… so this was one of my first toys as a kid… and you may be a bit old for it now, but I wanted to give it to my first child until I realised I don’t really want kids. So… here’s Mr Fluzzington.”

She handed Em the bag, who opened it to find a little teddy bear with button eyes. Em couldn’t help but smile, hugging it to her chest.

“I love him, thank you.”

Gretchen cleared her throat. “So… this necklace belonged to my sister… and now I want you to have it. Think of it as a… family heirloom.”

Em looked in the bag and saw a heart shaped necklace, black and white split down the middle. Gretchen helped her put it on, and she smiled brightly as it dangled around her neck.

“Thank you! It’s so pretty!”

Gretchen grinned. “I’m glad you like it. Maybe if you have kids you can pass it down to them and… keep it going, you know?”

“I will!”

Though Em wasn’t sure if she would have kids, she could tell the necklace meant a lot to Gretchen, so she couldn’t disappoint her.

It wasn’t long before Gretchen and Pamella left, and Em was left alone with Adya and Marion. After all that socialising, Em was rather worn down.

“I might get to bed, I think,” she said, stretching her arms. “I’m exhausted.”

“Sure thing,” Marion said with a nod. “Good night, Em.”

“Night, Em,” Adya added.

Em always felt the term “good night” was strange for some reason, and almost never said it. Instead, she held up a peace sign and went up to her room.

She flopped onto her bed with Mr Fluzzington in her arms, grabbing the elephant plushie Marion had given her as well. Just as she was about to fall asleep, she heard a wispy voice in her ear.

“Are you awake?”

#adoption au #half heart #half heart fanfiction #em underwood #marion enneson #gretchen freasa #pamella casson #adya

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valkyriecain · 3 years

Note

hi, I noticed in your recent post you mentioned about the skulduggery pleasant books being written autonomously. I used to read the books years ago but I am not up to date. if I may ask you, did the author do something bad?

ok so listen there's so much to this and i have what is commonly known as Sieve Brain but im gonna recall the "highlights" in bullet points because if not we will Die Here. important factors, before new stans be calling me bitter and unjustified: i had been a fan since 2008, first met derek irl in 2010 and from that point became really close to him. i considered him a friend, and i believe he considered me the same. i worshipped him unapologetically, which he loved.

and none of this should put you off loving SP! i still hold this series very dear and still buy any new releases, though it pains me knowing derek gets the money. I just really have to distance the books from him.

here you go:

things were "fine" until the release of desolation, the second book in the demon road series (for reference, i ADORED DR. didn't just hate it out of spite because it wasn't SP). myself and other fans took issue with this book because the main character, who was a sheltered 16 year old girl, was presented in an INCREDIBLY painful scene to read where a 20 year old woman who is tending to her after she's been in a brawl and coerces Amber (protag) into kissing her. they then date. it's messy as fuck, but honestly I'd level with the age gap if it wasn't so Male Porn Fantasy and vaguely rapey. myself and another Mega Fan moonie ended up sharing private emails with derek about how we felt discomforted by this and let down by him, and after honestly emotionally draining ourselves and digging deep to be honest with a man we've never wanted to fault, his eventual conclusion was an eloquently phased "you're being over sensitive and I'm sorry you've made yourself feel like this," and refused to acknowledge any fault. that's a VERY shortened version. for myself and moonie it was really long and messy and tiresome and incredibly heartbreaking tbh.

now, i said things were "fine" but they weren't, we were just deluded as fuck. so heres a vaguely timelined bullet pointing of what happened BEFORE Creepy Lesbian and after1811. I'm sure anything I miss moonie will RB with lol her brain works a lot better than mine

• valcain is based on dereks Ex Best Friend (much open to speculation), who was his 12 year old krav maga student when he was in his 30s, this is how they met. get on ur monocles my friends. she now seems to have nothing to do with him and no input on the books where she was previously heavily involved. in old blog posts he sexualised the IRL val when she attended an event with him, she was in her teens.

• in KOTW derek name dropped my OC (harmony blake, fact check me), at the time I was OVERJOYED. looking back, she was fucking serpine. i believe i was 17 at this time.

• myself and my own Ex BF had our chosen names dropped in LSODM (for memory). they had BOTH fucked saracen. if you missed it, derek confirmed that saracen is his self insert :^) me being a silly prick was having a jolly old time

honestly I don't remember my irl meetings with derek being overly creepy, but back then I adored him, so? idk. the one thing I remember which made me uncomfortable at the time, was myself and a couple of other mega fans who were all in a friend group got invited to his house. he had a cap shield from the first avenger and we all took turns holding it. I was wearing a t shirt and shorts, so when I held it, I said "it looks like I'm nekked behind here" because it did. and he did a little "heh" and sort of looked like he was imagining it. it was bleh. anyway

• LAURAGATE. dereks gf. she's 26. he's 40something now, whatever, who cares, right? oh wait yeah she was a 17 year old fan when they first met at a signing, that's right. he referred to her in his blog as "the blond with the legs". they started emailing. 2013 was their First Date, I believe she'd just turned 18, or was just off being 19. I was at this signing so I can tell you how skeevy it looked. she actually queued up to see him and have her photo taken mid signing which is weird as FUCK and paints a clear picture of how fucked this situation was. there's more to this day but it's just shit garnish on diarrhea soup tbh

• derek totally distances from the Big Fan base. be this because we criticised him, because we know the gross ins and outs of his and lauras relationship or because she was feeding his greedy ego and he didn't need us any more? who knows. the fandom has taken a fucking blow without us though. i know we were cringe and terrible but we were the life of the party and honestly we added to the skulduggery brand.

that's a brief summary of lowlights. him and laura continue to be terrible people, feeding into each others worst attributes and refusing to grow as people. laura just wants to coast on his "fame" and "fortune" and keeps trying (and failing, miserably) to exploit both of these to become an influencer. derek seems fucking miserable from what I can tell but he's got a "leggy blonde" so he'll not budge, will he

ANYWAY. if you want me to expand on anything, just uh, lemme know. I will if I can

#skulduggery pleasant #derek landy #discourse

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moonlitdiane · 3 years

Text

Hello! I moved from my old blog, @dianethus to here, you can probably call this a re-intro!

I’ve been trying to write since I was around 12 years old with silly little k-pop and percy jackson fanfics. Even though I cringe now whenever I think about the things I wrote, I still believe it was a necessary phase that all writers have to go through to become better.

I mainly write for the #OwnVoice movement that focuses on the South East Asian experience and especially the experience of being queer in an Asian environment. I aim to give the queers of Asian history whose stories never got to be told a voice. I write to expose the world to Philippine Mythology and the stories passed down from ancestor to ancestor. I also aim to conjure up nostalgic imagery in the readers' minds.

low fantasy. I'm not that really good at world building but I'm in love with the idea of everyday magic.

supernatural.

historical.

angst. I'm SORRY but writing and describing pain is a different kind of joy for me.

found family. I'm gay.

cosmic motifs.

enemies to lovers. oh for someone to see all my worst parts and still fall in love with me. also consider: childhood friends to enemies to lovers.

religious trauma & guilt. I went to a catholic school what did you expect?

The Revolution Will Not Be Vilified.

Evil Is Sexy.

Trapped In Another World. I want to be Isekai-d so bad.

Song Fic. Most of my titles are actually song lyrics or my basic outlines follow the structure of a song.

“Slender Aphrodite has overcome me with longing for a girl,”

Somewhere In Limasawa Street is a queer historical fiction story set in 1898 when the Philippine-American war is just beyond the horizons and 19 year old mestiza, Lucena Candella is in the middle of a war with herself. Sheltered and painfully aloof, she meets brave but brash, Urduja Kalangitan, who is as emotionally aware as a rock and who happens to be the Revolutionary Army's best gunman—maybe that's what pulled quiet Lucena to her.

Between paper planes, porcelains, and battle scars, Lucena slowly learns to love, and that scared her. It scared her because she wasn't allowed to love that woman with the scarred smile and wild hair.

This is my main WIP and my passion project. I really wanted to write something that I can dedicate to the queers of history, the indigenous and people of color whose queerness is never told.

The title is a reference to Limasawa Street by folk pop band, Ben&Ben, I actually used the album and a few singles as inspiration for the plot.

WIP Playlist. This story will be unapologetically Filipino.

“Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not make room for the devil,”

The Devil’s Choir is a low fantasy story following the adventures of seven unlikely friends who just want to go apeshit and run away from their shitty town. That is until they’re thrown into a you-need-to-save-the-whole-world mess without their written consent. Lucifer and Dionysus show up at their door step, dragging them head first into an abyss that even the Gods refuse to fall into. A war between the golden age and the future, it’s now up to this peculiar gang to save the world from the real threat.

The seven deadly sins but make them moody teenagers. this story has gone through so much revising for years! Found family, enemies to lovers, and unwilling heroes? check.

Unintentionally a copy of American Gods. It was too late until I realized the plot was kind of similar to American Gods. Help.

WIP Playlist. I smell chaos, don’t you?

“It is true, we shall be monsters, cut off from all the world; but on that account we shall be more attached to one another.”

Manila Encounters is a paranormal urban fantasy story unfolding right in the pearl of the orient seas. When the clock strikes 3 AM and the lights of the skyscrapers turn dark—when the city sleeps, the monsters roam free. Deep between the alley ways of Manila city, look out for kids with a certain glow and bite behind their smiles. Look for the ones with sunkissed tans who speak in tongues. Look for the ones whose feet barely dip into murky bay waters and fingertips grazing moonlight.

A dummy’s guide to Filipino folklore. Manila Encounters was inspired by a hashtag on Twitter of the same name where people wrote their own twist to Filipino urban legends and folk stories.

Oh great, another Percy Jackson rip-off. the main characters are demi-gods or descendants of Gods. Original, I know.

WIP Playlist. driving at midnight sort of vibe.

"You may forget but let me tell you this: someone in some future time will think of us."

And I Love her is a queer romance story about a girl who just recently moved into an old but well maintained cottage in some seaside town in Europe—and she finds in the middle of dusty furniture and underneath cobwebs, a rotary telephone sitting there unused for decades. It rings unexpectedly one day and what greets her is a soft voice belonging to someone who lived 60 years ago.

a dreamnotfound fanfic inspired this. and the South Korean horror film, The Call.

gay yearning agenda. so much yearning. so much. I’m projecting.

WIP Playlist. My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand, taking mine, but it's been promised to another

A selected list of fics from my AO3 account. It’s gay.

I drowned a long time ago. Sakusa Kiyoomi isn’t in love. He’s devoted. Serial Killer AU.

Maaaring bang magkunwaring akin ka pa? A Tagalog Haikyuu fic based on the movie, Camp Sawi.

Marupok na puso ko. A Tagalog Haikyuu fic where they do the Filipino thing and get drunk.

My good puppy. My first try at writing smut. Jesus Christ.

Be my mistake. Where Kuroo Tetsurou calls up Tsukishima Kei one last time.

Make it hurt. The two times Atsumu Miya saw the entire universe behind Sakusa Kiyoomi’s eyes.

I still have a lot of stories that I hope to finish, I find it hard to discard or erase story ideas. So I hope one day, you can all watch me finish this list.

We Don’t Belong Here / Viva La Filipinas / Luna De Sangre Conspiracy / Lilith and Lysander’s Guide To Immortal Godparents / Lonely Hearts Club / A Lady’s Guide to Princes and Principles / Attack Block / Empty Thrones / A Double Take / Stupid Cupid / Idle Town / Alice? / The 30 Day Deal / Lost Stars / The Apocalypse Program / Heartstrings / Disastrously Danae

#Writeblr intro #writeblr #writers of tumblr #writers on tumblr #about me #introduction #writeblr wip #intro #HI #PINNED.#wip intro

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40ism · 3 years

Audio

I am terminally uncool.

From time to time, against my protestations, I will gain a reputation for coolness.

This always comes back to bite me in the ass. For a long time, my college friends refused to see it. They insisted I was cool, holding the two Mike Doughty tracks I played for them aloft, reverently chanting my name. I let myself believe them, for as long as I could.

Junior year, the illusion shattered and I took-up residence on their living room floor - a two-month long relationship collapsed, and I was so bereft that I didn’t sleep in my own apartment for six weeks. They knew it then, finally. Who is that depressed after two months of dating?

I’m not cool; I’m easily crushed. I’m corny. I’m deeply insecure. I require constant petting and affirmations. I need to be told I’m the smartest, the cutest, the funniest, the best, all day every day. I’m a Leo moon.

But ultimately, the least cool thing about me is my taste in music. It’s a tough call, I’m cringe in many ways! But music takes it.

Musicals aren’t the worst of it, though most songs I enjoy sound like showtunes.

No, I’ve had the same favorite musician since high school. A guy made me a mix CD with three of his songs on it when I was 16, and I’ve never let go. I’ve seen him live 9 times - I have tickets for my 10th show in November. It’ll be my 3rd time seeing him with the Atlanta Symphony Orchestra! I’m starting to get embarrassed when I tell people how many times I’ve been to his concerts. I’ve seen very few bands live, but I’ll see this one 10?

Yes, it’s Ben Folds, of “Brick.”

Yes, Ben Folds Five is extremely important to me.

Yes, “The Luckiest” played during our wedding reception (NO, it was not the first dance).

But It gets worse.

See, I’m one of those people who likes the new shit. Basically any time a favorite artist releases something new, I love it. It often becomes my favorite thing they’ve ever made. So yeah, I like “Whatever and Ever Amen.” But “So There?” I dunno, it might be my #1.

Did you hear the album Ben Folds Five made when they reunited in 2011? I think it’s their strongest record. I’m sorry, it’s true! My favorite Kanye West is Life of Pablo, my favorite Tarantino is Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, my favorite Sedaris is Calypso. I like the new shit.

I love an evolution. I think we’re too quick, as a culture, to chase the hot new thing instead of listening to people who have been honing their craft for years.

Ben Folds started out bashing his whole arm on a row of keys and now he’s doing the exact same thing during his concerto with a symphony orchestra behind him.

Ian, you are cool. We haven’t gotten to meet in person, but it’s plain to see. You have great taste, certainly. But the key to coolness, of course, is being unapologetic.

The key to cool is ignoring the outside world. It’s in making up your own mind.

You might hate this song, I really can’t say. I don’t know your thoughts on aging pop-rock pianists or lyrics so thick with denial that you can’t sing along without shaking your head.

Yeah, I listen to classic Uncle Ben a lot (that’s what his fellow Patreon subscribers call him). ��Evaporated,” “Don’t Change Your Plans,” and “Gone” are in my regular rotation. But there’s just something about the new shit.

You’re starting something both entirely new and entirely mundane: a new decade. It won’t functionally make any difference in your day to day, but these manmade milestones are certainly real. I can’t wait to see how you learn from this chapter, what amazing New Shit you create.

I hope you like this song. If you don’t, that’s okay - it won’t change how I feel about it. Or you. It’ll confirm what I knew all along: you are cool.

And if you do like “So There,” by Ben Folds and yMusic, even better. We can geek out together.

---Galen Crawley

#40ism #ian mathers #imathers #music #mixes #bday #ben folds #ymusic #ben folds five #friends #the internet

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senstia · 4 years

Note

Bisexual Matt having a crush on Neil??? Andrew noticing???

yes yess heres some angst and a huge dose of soft and fluffy andreil of course, i love writing neil defending andrew❤️

Andrew couldn’t help but notice, it had been pathetically obvious, truly. Andrew had been hyperaware of the fact that many people found Neil attractive and that even more had crushes on him since he had met Neil. It was just a fact of life. Neil was happily oblivious of course, his gaze only ever focused on Andrew or Exy. Andrew never had a reason to be jealous, or suspicious, not when Neil was so perfectly loyal, not when he unquestioningly gave every ounce of his love, attention, and trust to Andrew with no hesitation. But this was different. Concerning. Not because Andrew was threatened... but because it was... Matt.

Andrew had known Matt cared for Neil, loved him. He had just assumed it was brotherly. Besides, Matt was dating Dan. But now Dan and Matt had been broken up for months and Andrew had noticed Matt’s lingering stares. Matt’s eyes would sparkle whenever Neil spoke, his eyes would flick to Neil’s lips every once in a while. He laughed at Neil more than normal. He found more reasons to casually touch him. Neil didn’t notice, or didn’t care. Neil loved Matt, Matt was Neil’s best friend. But it was quite obvious more than friendship was on Matt’s mind.

Right now Andrew was watching Neil give Matt pointers on his math homework. Matt soaked up every word Neil said, gave every ounce of his attention to listening to Neil, looking at him, and Andrew knew damn well nobody cared that much about math homework. Neil leaned over to write something on Matt’s paper, their fingers brushing. Matt seemed to freeze at the contact. He brushed his hand back against Neil’s. Neil barely noticed, just glanced down for a second and then lifted his hand to write again. Andrew wanted to hit Neil. How could he be so stupid? Andrew shouldn’t have been surprised. Back when Andrew had a crush on Neil, Neil had never noticed, he literally had had to spell it out for him. The idiot. And now Neil was just as oblivious to Matt’s crush too.

And then they were at Eden’s. Neil had invited the upperclassmen, so that meant Matt had come along. Neil usually stayed back and sat with Andrew while the others danced but today Matt had looked at Neil nervously and asked if Neil wanted to come dance with him. Of course Neil didn’t think anything of it. Neil looked to Andrew, as he always did. Andrew just gave him an unimpressed stare.

“Go ahead.”

Neil nodded and followed Matt to the dance floor. Andrew was curious as to what would happen. At first they danced a few inches apart. Andrew’s blood heated at the sight of Neil’s lithe body moving under the strobe lights. But then Matt moved closer. He played it off by saying something to Neil, making it seem like he was only getting closer so that Neil could hear him. Neil stepped closer, leaned in so that he could hear Matt. And then Matt’s eyes were glued to Neil’s lips. Matt’s hands ghosted over Neil’s hips as he stared and stared at those full lips. Finally Neil noticed. Neil looked up at Matt in question. Matt said something and Neil cocked his head to the side, and then nodded. Then suddenly Matt was taking Neil’s hand and leading him out of the club.

Andrew couldn’t help but follow. He got close enough so that he could see and hear everything, but kept himself hidden so they couldn’t see him. Matt was leaned against the wall, Neil standing next to him, looking slightly confused.

“What is it you wanted to talk about?” Neil asked innocently.

Matt rubbed his neck nervously, “Listen Neil there’s something... I-I don’t know. I can’t. I shouldn’t-,” Matt stuttered nervously.

“Matt?” Neil asked, looking concerned. Neil stepped closer to Matt and looked up to his face, “Is everything okay?”

Matt sighed deeply, “I think- I- Can I show you what i’m trying to say? It’s too hard to talk.”

Neil cocked his head to the side, “Okay?”

Matt bit his lip, “Just... don’t tell Andrew.”

Neil immediately froze at the words, taking a step back.

Neil was on the defensive now, “Don’t tell Andrew what?” Neil asked harshly.

Matt took a step closer to Neil, splaying his hands wide, “Please Neil. I just... need to do this.”

Neil just narrowed his eyes and stayed silent, waiting. And then before Neil could react, Matt was kissing him, his hands in Neil’s hair. Neil’s entire body locked at the contact and he shoved Matt away.

“Matt! What the hell?”

Andrew was about half a second away from putting a knife in Matt’s gut but he wanted to see what Neil would do next.

“I-I’m sorry” Matt stuttered, “I had to.”

“What do you mean you had to? Do you like me or something?”

“I’m in love with you Neil,” Matt said miserably.

Neil stepped back. His face hardened.

“Matt thats not... We’re just friends. You’re my best friend.”

“I know Neil. God! I know! You think this is easy for me? I didn’t expect to fall for you. But you’re just... you’re everything Neil. You always have been. I know you don’t feel the same, but I just.. I had to try. Just once. Just don’t tell Andrew. He’ll kill me.”

Neil was shaking his head over and over, stumbling backwards.

“Matt thats... that’s not okay. You know I’m with Andrew. You asked me to hide this from Andrew. I’m sorry Matt. I know this is hard for you and I know l’m being insensitive right now but fuck you. I’m with Andrew. Don’t ever, ever ask me to hide something from him. Especially something like this. Andrew is it for me. I am in love with him. Only him. You know that. Did you really think I would kiss you back? I would never cheat on Andrew, never give him any reason not to trust me. Andrew is the love of my life Matt. You fucking know that. I’ve told you that. So what the hell was that?”

Matt’s entire body was shaking, he looked distraught.

“I know Neil, I know. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. I just... I’ve been losing my mind and I’ve wanted to tell you everything for weeks but I knew this would happen and I was terrified and I couldn’t think. Couldn’t talk. I didn’t know how else to show you. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have touched you without permission. I shouldn’t have asked you to hide something from Andrew. I know you two are in love. I know that. I’m so sorry Neil.”

“It’s okay Matt. Just don’t do it again.” Neil said harshly, “I think we should probably take some space for a while, so you can work out your feelings. You’re my best friend. But I’ll never be able to be more than that for you. I need to go find Andrew. Don’t make that face. He’s not going to do anything. He’s not the monster you all think he is.” Neil started to walk away, then glanced back at Matt. “Are you going to be okay?”

Matt smiled a soft, sad smile, “Yeah i’ll be okay. I knew it was always going to be this way. Some space is probably best though. I’ll see you around Neil.”

Neil just nodded and walked away. Andrew intercepted him. Right when Neil saw Andrew he knew he had heard the whole thing. Andrew didn’t look angry, or tense. He looked calm and at peace. Andrew just gestured to the car and Neil followed. Once they were inside they both sat in silence for a moment, neither moving.

“Drew?” Neil said softly.

“Hmm?”

Neil just looked at him, waiting.

Andrew sighed, “I already knew Boyd loved you.”

Neil blinked, “You did? How?”

Andrew rolled his eyes, “Not everyone is as oblivious as you Neil.”

Neil huffed out a laugh and lifted a hand to Andrew’s cheek. Andrew nodded a yes and Neil stroked his cheek over and over as he stared at him.

“Only you Drew. I’ll only ever love you, only ever want you. No one else matters.”

Andrew didn’t have the words. When he had heard Neil say all those beautiful things to Matt, defending him, loving him, he had felt like his heart might explode. How was it that this silver tongued beautiful redhead loved him... he didn’t know. But he’d cherish it every day til he died. Because Neil was it for him too. The only one he loved, the only one he wanted, forever. It had taken him long enough to admit those things to himself. To Neil. Now that he was comfortable enough to let himself feel it, say it, it was everything.

“Me too,” Andrew whispered roughly, “Only you Junkie.”

“Yes or no?”

Andrew answered by leaning in and kissing those perfect lips, cupping Neil’s perfect face in his hands. Neil pulled back and brushed his nose against Andrew’s, their foreheads together. They stayed that way for a while, just quiet, breathing each other in. Andrew had never had someone who loved him so unapologetically, who defended him and trusted him and stuck by him through every dark turn. It struck him stupid every time he thought of how Neil loved him. It didn’t seem real. Pipe dream.

Andrew didn’t realize he had said that last phrase aloud until Neil replied.

“I’m not. I will always love you Andrew. I will defend you and stick by you and trust you every day for as long as you let me.”

“I know. Me too,” Andrew took a deep breath, “I heard everything you said to Matt. Thank you.” Andrew’s voice was rough with emotion.

Neil lifted his head, kissed Andrew softly on the forehead.

“No thank yous. I will always choose you. Always tell you. Always defend you. Don’t ever expect anything less.”

Andrew just sighed and twined his hands in Neil’s hair, “Okay.”

After a while Neil winced, “I think I was a little too harsh with him.”

“He’ll be fine. He knew it was going to happen.”

“Do you think he’ll ever be my friend again?”

Andrew shrugged, “I’m sure he’ll get over it. It will take time though. Boyd is the sensitive type.”

Neil cringed, “Oops,” and then asked, “How did you know he had feelings for me?”

“Because I recognized the symptoms.”

“The symptoms of what?”

“Of loving Neil Josten.”

Neil’s cheeks flushed a deep red. He leaned in close. “Yes or no?”

Andrew nodded and leaned in too. He expected a kiss but Neil wrapped Andrew in a tight embrace, tucking his head into the crook of Andrew’s neck. They held each other tightly for long minutes. Neither of them hugged anyone very often but sometimes it was a way to convey their love when words just weren’t enough. After a while Neil sighed.

“I love you so much Drew.”

Andrew just stroked his fingers soothingly along Neil’s back, “I love you too Junkie.”

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inevitably-johnlocked · 4 years

Note

Hiii I'm really new to the fandom, like I just discovered the show this month and I loved the end but I should say that even if the 3rd and 4th season weren't as good as the first two to me tfp was amazing, the only thing that I hated was how they portrayed Mary as a saviour and how in tld she was the one that told John to save Sherlock because John would've done that alone and honestly I would've never forgive her and I was just about to stop watching the show because I hated that part, to me is unrealistic how they forgot everything and were fine with her and I was glad when she d*ed tbh but they still used her and well but I thought that tfp was an amazing chapter and I was surprised to see that the fandom hated it :( why do they hate it so much?

Hey Nonny!

First off, welcome to the fandom!! We’re happy to have you here!

Secondly, I want to preface this with: it’s totally okay to have liked S4 / TFP, and it’s totally okay if you saw something there that I certainly haven’t. It’s not my place to gatekeep the fandom. You’re allowed to enjoy it, and as a heads up to my lovelies who want to reply to this ask too, to please be respectful to my Nonny and their enjoyment of S4.

That said, PLEASE know that this WILL get ranty and it is NOT an attack on you, Nonny. I really am not upset at you and I am very happy that you enjoy the series. I, on the other hand just get very emotional whenever I talk about S4 and what it could have been. Quite honestly, I envy you Nonny; I’ve been too deep into fandom and meta and learning about narrative storytelling for WAY too long to think of it as anything other than a terrible conclusion to what was once an amazing series all because Mofftiss wanted to “shock” people.

With that segue, I’ve essentially summed it all up in a few other asks here, so you can go down that rabbit hole if you like:

Why do most fans hate S4, especially TFP? (THIS POST HERE LISTS A LARGE CHUNK OF WHY I DON’T LIKE S4)

Why Do You Hate S4, I’m Just Curious (huge discussion post)

FOLLOWUP: Can I Tell You that I love you?

Why Does Everyone Seem to Hate S4 and Mary So Much?

How do I respond to people who say they liked S4

Controversial Opinion: S4 Sucked

S4 Didn’t Feel Like BBC Sherlock

The main TL;DR for me about why I dislike TFP: It didn’t feel like an episode of Sherlock AT ALL, the characters were ALL out of character, and it essentially erased 7 years’ of plot / character development:

Molly regressed to S1E1 Molly after establishing that she moved on from Sherlock

Moriarty was essentially a patsy and not a mastermind, and in turn leaving Carl Powers as a HUGE plot hole

who the FUCK is Mycroft in this episode??

Sherlock would NEVER ignore Vatican Cameos

Eurus’ whole character destroyed the world that these characters existed in for 12 episodes prior (ie. BASED IN REALITY). They made her essentially an X-Man. Her very role in the whole season was too fantastical. Why would you break out of this prison only to go back in so you can play a weird Escape room with Saw traps?

John’s entire character was destroyed

Sherlock’s entire purpose in the entire series was reduced to being a woobie because Mofftiss has a “hurting Ben” kink, it seems

Mary basically saying if it wasn’t for her, John and Sherlock could never be, even though they WERE before her stupid face ever was in the picture

They ruined Mary’s character; she could’ve been a badass villain but they made her a martyr through an unapologetic, undeserved, non-redemption. And her DVD’s were stupid and disgusting and just proves what a cruel character she was while trying to convince us that she wasn’t.

Anyway, I could keep going, but you get the idea. Check out the posts linked above for even more.

I think for me, it stems from being someone who wrote meta to help understand characters and narrative constructs, and the narrative took a complete 180 and did something completely different than what people assumed would happen all because I feel Mofftiss was spiteful that we guessed most of TAB, so they wanted to “subvert expectations” and did a piss-poor job of it. I don’t know. It’s not good writing when watching the entire show as a whole. S4 doesn’t feel like Sherlock, because the John-and-Sherlock relationship (regardless if you ship it or not) just ISN’T THERE. It turned into the “Mostly Mary, Occasionally Sherlock, and maybe John when we need someone’s character to destroy” show. I’ve a sneaking suspicion AA had a lot to do with that, but it’s all gossip and hearsay, so I’ll leave it there.

Anyway, Nonny, this whole thing isn’t meant to insult you. I’m GLAD you enjoyed S4 / TFP. I can’t even watch the series without cringing, and the only way I can sit through S4 is if I read it as John’s TAB. I’m envious that you can enjoy it on the surface. I want to say give it a few years and you’ll be one of us old jaded folks, but mreh, not my place. If anything, I hope that my reply and all the links posted above let you understand why the fandom and critics at large didn’t enjoy it. I genuinely can see why people do like it: Ben and Martin are fantastic with what they have to work with, and the first two episodes look really pretty. But I just... can’t be swayed. I made a genuine effort to like it, I really did, when it first came out. But I guess just examining it too closely and trying to understand why Mofftiss made such a decision to destroy their most profitable property, it’s just really bizarre to me.

Hope you have a good day, Nonny, and I do hope you’ll stick around! <3 I’ll understand if you hate me now, LOL. <3

#steph replies #chatting with nonnies #writing meta instead of working #s4 shitposting #shitposting steph #my thoughts #inconsistencies #something's fucky #Anonymous

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lloydskywalkers · 4 years

Text

afsdgfdhgj!! thank you sm, i’m so happy to hear that :’D that is...something i do very much need to work on actually, i’ve been trying to kick the talking-self-down habit for a while now, it’s just!! it’s tough, guys.

on a lighter note, i know exactly what trope you’re talking about and i’m an unapologetic sucker for it afdsgfdh. unfortunately this probably isn’t exactly what you’re looking for, but i got bit by the idea and it wouldn’t let me go, so here’s a somewhat-short (somewhat) fic about it!

Sometimes, the ninja forget they’re technically, kind-of-sort-of, famous. Like, not all the time, because some people are creepy and won’t leave them well enough alone, and some people are just…really enthusiastic…but for the most part, it is easy to forget sometimes, because out of gi they look pretty normal.

(Until Lloyd’s eyes start shuffling through colors like a sporadic traffic light, of course, but that doesn’t happen as much now.)

The point is, sometimes it’s easy to forget that they’re famous.

Sometimes, though — when movie posters the size of the Bounty are plastered all over the city because some wise guy thought making a film about them would be a great idea — it’s harder to forget.

“This feels like an invasion of privacy,” Cole mutters, crossing his arms as he sinks deeper into the theater seat.

“Oh, yeah,” Nya says. “Because trading cards and entire news documentaries with our full names and intimate dating life details were one thing, but a loosely-based movie is where we draw the line.”

“Intimate dating life my foot,” Lloyd scowls, clearly far from getting over that one article that managed to snag a picture of him and Harumi before…everything.

“Well — yeah, fair, but like—” Cole sputters. “They hired actors to play us. They’re gonna be recreating our lives and it’s — it’s weird, okay?”

“I dunno, I think it’s pretty cool,” Kai says, already on his third mouthful of popcorn, and the trailers have’t even started yet. “I mean, it can’t be worse than that play they put on, right?”

“Don’t jinx it,” Zane mutters darkly, his eyes flashing at the reminder.

“I’m with Kai,” Jay says, bouncing in his seat as he reaches for the popcorn. “I think it’s cool that people care enough about us to make a movie, you know? Like, did you see the budget for this thing?”

“Was it as high as the repair cost for the tower we blew up last week?” Lloyd says.

“Uh…maybe. I didn’t compare, exactly. But look, you can’t put a price on lives. A little collateral damage is worth it.”

“A little?” Zane says, his eyebrows shooting up.

“Eh, we helped clean it up,” Nya shrugs. “That counts.”

Jay points at her. “Thank you.”

“Still say it wasn’t my fault,” Kai grumbles, crossing his arms. Lloyd pokes him in the ribs, and Kai yelps, flinching away from him. “Not cool, not cool!”

“We’re definitely not going to make it through this movie without getting thrown out,” Cole groans into his hands. They’re already getting looks from the movie-goers around them, and their patience doesn’t look like it’s going to last very long.

“C’mon, have a little optimism,” Jay placates. “This is gonna be fun— hey, that’s my popcorn!”

“No way, lightning brain, I bought it, I hold it.”

“But you bought it with Nya’s money.”

“Which she stole from Lloyd’s sock drawer this morning, so that doesn’t count.”

“Wait, you stole my sock money?”

“Um…call it payback for stealing the last of the cookies last week.”

“How is that a fair trade, I only took one!”

“Yeah, one dozen—”

“Guys, please—”

“You’re one to talk, you stole all the—”

“Would you all shut up, it’s starting, and — I said shut up!”

******************

It takes a few threats of murder, and one or two threats of open power-use to the face, but they quiet down in time for the opening credits.

The movie begins peacefully enough, with an older man telling some ‘punk little kid’ as Kai describes him, a whole lot of ‘stereotypical sensei mumbo jumbo’ as Lloyd describes it, about himself. Which, to be fair, is pretty accurate to their lives, so they’re able to quietly munch on popcorn for the first few minutes, at least.

But then the plot starts.

“What do they mean, ‘uh oh’, to Lloyd Garmadon?” Kai frowns. “The city loves you.”

Lloyd shrugs, tossing a mouthful of popcorn back. “I dunno,” he says. “I mean, it is tough to be that kid.”

“Yeah, ‘cause he’s the worst shortie ever, like four feet tall,” Nya whispers to him. Lloyd elbows her in the side. Zane shushes them, just in time for the actual movie Lloyd to show up on the screen, in bed and receiving a call from—

Lloyd doubles over, choking on his popcorn.

“Luh-Lloyd?” Kai says, in delight. “Luh-Lloyd?!”

“Pajamas,” Lloyd wheezes, as Nya thumps his back. “Look at his pajamas, I gotta buy my dad those—”

The others are left to giggle their way through the interpretation of one of their greatest enemies snacking on cereal in printed pajamas, telling Lloyd he ‘must’ve butt-dialed him’. It’s hysterical until Garmadon forgets Lloyd’s birthday, and the Lloyd onscreen gets the signature Sad Puppy Eyes Lloyd Look on his face — which, props to the actor, he nailed it — and everyone looks to Lloyd in sympathy.

“That’s rough, buddy,” Jay pats his shoulder. Lloyd rolls his eyes.

“It’s not me,” he says, shrugging again. Really, his dad forgetting his birthday is like, incredibly tame, compared to hurling him through a prison wall or six.

Now, forgetting he existed, that stings. But also, like, this isn’t his dad, so. Eh. He doesn’t really care.

“Is that supposed to be Misako?”

Never mind. He cares now.

“Are you—” Kai plasters a hand over his mouth, muffling this next part. “—kidding me?!”

“Oh, she’s, uh…really present, huh,” Cole winces, as ‘Koko’ encourages her son about being himself, and other really nice stuff Lloyd would have super appreciated hearing when he was younger.

He opens his mouth again, and Nya takes the opportunity to stuff more popcorn in it. Lloyd chomps down angrily, glaring at the screen and grumbling under his breath.

“At least you’ve shown up at all,” Jay comforts him. Lloyd is very much not comforted. He just wants to get through the rest of the movie in peace, and shift the focus off of him as quick as possible.

Oh boy, is he disappointed.

Like, he gets a few minutes of relief as the others are introduced, but that’s all, really. Even if it is hilarious.

“Hello, fellow teen.”

Cole makes a sound like a dying balloon, and Jay almost coughs popcorn out of his nose. Zane just presses his lips into a flat line, his expression unreadable. “I do not…know how to feel about this.”

Jay and Kai are doubled-over on each other by now, choking on laughter. Cole, bless him, is doing his absolute best not to burst into giggles, while Nya and Lloyd have given up and are full-out cackling.

“Well,” Zane says, eyeing them with a gleam in his eye. “Perhaps I should start updating my database with ‘teen lingo’ then—”

“No!” they all chorus in unison, waving frantically at Zane, earning several dirty looks from the people around them as they do.

“You’re perfect the way you are, buddy,” Jay says hastily.

Kai, at least, seems pretty steadily in character—

“Aw, look, I almost snapped your spine.”

“That’s a Kai hug, for sure.”

—and Nya’s thrilled about having a motorcycle. Jay’s a tad indignant at his character’s stuttering, but Cole reminds him he has zero room to talk, so Jay shuts up in time for Cole to shrug at his own portrayal.

“I like that shirt,” he remarks. “And those headphones are cool.”

Then the reality of the scene they’re watching sinks in.

“Wait, why are we in school?” Zane blinks, confused.

“Why are they being so mean to you?” Cole exclaims at Lloyd, taken aback.

Lloyd makes a face at the cheerleaders on screen, jerking his shoulder up as if to say ‘like I know’. Which is kind of a lie, because he does know, the movie told them, but he’s not gonna get into that. Kai is already fuming in his seat beside him, growing steadily angrier by the second. “Who do they think they are,” he hisses. “I’ll show them a number one hit.”

Lloyd rips his eyes from the screen, watching Kai in mild alarm. “Kai, you know that’s not actually me, right?”

“—tear those kids a new one—”

Lloyd cringes at the looks they’re getting from the people around them, patting Kai’s arm. “Chill out, Kai, seriously. This is like, basic Darkley’s stuff, don’t worry. And I walked away from that fine.”

Wrong thing to say. Kai swivels on him, his eyes flashing. “Wait. This happened to you at Darkley’s? For real?”

“Um…” Lloyd sweats briefly, the sounds of Boo Lloyd! coming from the screen really not helping at all. “I mean, I was a brat. I brought a lot of it on myself.”

Kai looks like he’s going to combust. “I swear—”

“Kai,” Lloyd interrupts, trying to quell the storm. “It’s fine. Seriously. I mean, there was this one time that four guys way bigger than me ganged up and hung me from a roof by my hoodie all night, but it wasn’t that bad. I’m fine.”

Kai’s face turns thunderous, matching the roar of Garmadon finally coming into view onscreen. “Wasn’t that bad?” he says, incredulous, gaining them several shh’s, mainly from Nya. Kai ignores them. “Point me to those punks, Lloyd, I’ll strangle ‘em—”

“Kai.”

“Wha — oh. Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“That — that was different.”

“Uh-huh.”

“…you — you weren’t there all night.”

“I sure was.”

“Oh.”

“Mm-hm.”

“Um. Sor…rry?”

Fortunately, both are saved by Garmadon smashing his way on screen in a giant shark mech with a full-scale crustacean-themed army, to which the ninja kind of just…stare. That’s — that’s the best they can do with that one. That, and be thankful Garmadon himself isn’t here to see this.

“I mean, to be fair, I can see him appreciating a song entirely about himself,” Kai mutters, as the chorus continues to yell about Garmadon!. “And — wait, Lloyd, are you filming this?”

“Uh, yeah?” Lloyd says, re-adjusting the zoom feature on his phone. “Now hush, I wanna save this and make it my ringtone.”

******************

The mechs are, admittedly, cool. Their total lack of ability to do Spinjitzu, way less so.

“That’s so not how Spinjitzu works,” Nya scoffs, as Sensei Wu finally makes an appearance, just in time for Lloyd to request wind as an element, which brings on another bout of choking.

“Oh, for crying out loud,” Lloyd sighs. He then blinks rapidly. “Wait, where are our powers?”

“Nonexistent, apparently,” Zane murmurs. “Along with our common sense.”

“To be fair, that’s never been a reliable thing in the first place,” Jay points out.

The lack of common sense continues to be a trend throughout the movie, and by the time the ‘Ultimate Weapon’ comes up, things start to go downhill rather fast.

“Which, to continue to be fair, is also pretty in-character. This whole fight kinda is.”

The other ninja grumble in agreement as Lloyd runs off to confront his father alone despite all warning, and Lloyd begins to sink lower into his seat. He has a bad feeling he knows exactly where this is going, and sadly, he isn’t disappointed.

Well, for the most part.

“A cat?” Lloyd yelps, his eyes bugging out. “A giant cat?! How is that fair? All I ever get to fight is creepy part-reptile people who want to suck the power out of me, where do I sign up for this?”

“This is surreal,” Zane remarks, as Meowthra tears her merry way across the screen. The whole scene is a disaster, slo-mo destruction and everything, but it’s pretty much the standard fare they’re used to, so they really don’t bat much of an eye as the cat totally wrecks them.

“Nice to know we can’t catch a break in any universe,” Jay sighs sadly, as his mech is torn apart on screen.

“This movie is really beating the ‘don’t-challenge-dad-solo’ message over the head, huh,” Lloyd mutters, chin in his hand, having recovered from his brief bout of extreme-cat-heart-eyes.

Kai gives him a stink-eye. “Yeah, I wonder why.”

Understandably, the Lloyd onscreen is considerably upset at the apparent destruction of all his friends. The ninja are all incredibly curious as to where the movie is going to go next, though, since this Garmadon celebrates his victory by throwing a pretty sick party instead of building a skyscraper-sized stone Colossi of destruction and wrecking half the city.

“Kind of unfair,” Jay scowls, as the henchman do the conga onscreen. Nya’s got a smart comment to make back, but then the Lloyd onscreen reveals himself —

“In typical dramatic-Lloyd fashion, they got that right.”

“Oh, shut up.”

— and then proceeds to snap at the Garmadon onscreen, “I wish you weren’t my father.”

The theater goes remarkably quiet, as do the ninja. Cautiously, they turn to look at Lloyd, who is staring at the screen with a look on his face similar to if you’d shaken up a soda bottle really hard and were about to take the top off. Then—

“Oh, heck yeah, how’s that for karma, you over-powered conceited jerk of a dad,” Lloyd hisses viciously at the screen, punching his fist in the air. “He’s got the right idea, it’s my turn to start disowning family members. Screw ‘you’re not my son’, I’m gonna pull this one out next time and disown him—!”

“Lloyd,” Nya says, a bit nervously. “You know he’s, uh, he’s crying on screen now, right?”

“Yeah,” Lloyd spits.

“You, uh. You know you are too, right?”

“N-no.”

“Therapy,” Cole whispers to Zane. “So much therapy.”

“I’ve already booked us,” Zane murmurs back, sliding his phone back in his pocket. “If the office can simply manage not get blown for one more week this time, we might actually make it."

******************

While they do, however, manage to stay quiet for most of that scene — and isn’t Cole wildly impressed with them for that — the next scene kind of shoots that victory right into tiny little pieces.

“Why are we being so mean to you now?” Cole exclaims, flabbergasted, as the poor Lloyd onscreen looks seconds from tears, the rest of the team staring down at him with firm glares.

“Shh, this is getting dramatic,” Lloyd hushes him.

Nya gets a look on her face that promises murder, and Kai refuses point-blank to be shushed.

“What a bunch of jerks. We’d never do something like that, I’m going to have words with some people—”

“Jamanakai,” Lloyd just says, wearily. “Rooftop. All night.”

Kai deflates, sinking into his seat. “S’not the same,” he mutters, fiercely. “We never said all those mean things to you.”

Lloyd gently pats his arm. “There, there,” he says. “I know you didn’t mean it.”

“I never said it! It’s — it’s that imposter on screen, that’s who!”

“Kai, I know—”

Lloyd is interrupted by an unfortunately-timed declaration from the onscreen Jay.

“Now, we hate you.”

Lloyd blinks, almost surprised at the slight flare of hurt that sparks in his chest at that. Which is stupid, because these directors don’t know them, and that’s not really Jay, but hey, why not play into his worst fears, movie—

Then “Jay!” is hissed in scandalized unison, and Lloyd stuffs said worst fears back into box and tries not to snicker at the look on his brother’s face.

“It’s not me!” Jay defends desperately, waving his hands wildly. “That’s not me!”

“Deleting all data related to treating Lloyd as a friend.”

Jay is saved as everyone turns on Zane, who just buries his face in his hands. “Let it end,” he moans.

******************

Apart from being shocked that Sensei Wu is actually going with his ninja on their quest for the Ultimately Ultimate Weapon—

“It’s ultimate ultimate, did you miss that trip-inducing scene they explained it with?”

—they aren’t as surprised by things anymore after that, having caught on to the movie’s flow. It’s a little more slapstick than they’re used to, all bright colors and quick action, but it’s enjoyable to watch Garmadon and Sensei Wu snipe at each other, at least.

“Ten bucks says he survives just fine,” Cole says blandly, as Sensei Wu goes plummeting toward the river.

Not one of them take him up on that wager.

“Geez, they’re really roasting us for being morons in this, huh,” Jay observes, as their onscreen counterparts take the clearly-a-trap route, as per Garmadon’s advice.

Lloyd, who is still stewing about having his voice made fun of, bites out, “I think it’s pretty valid, for some of us.”

“Oh, suck it up already, Lloyd. Your voice changed anyways, get over it.”

“Are you saying I sounded ridiculous before?”

“Uh, no-o…?”

“Oh, there we go, getting humiliated again,” Nya sighs, as the ninja are cornered by Garmadon’s ex-generals. “I wonder why they didn’t give us our powers. You’d think they’d have capitalized on that, it’d look pretty cool.”

“Who knows. I’m still trying to figure out if my character’s love for music is a clever reference to me and my dad’s singing background, or just a shallow attempt to give me character at all,” Cole muses. They turn back to the movie just in time to wince in unison as the ninja onscreen flee, leaving Lloyd and Garmadon to be captured.

Kai is less than pleased with this development.

“Oh, so we’re just leaving Lloyd behind now? Who wrote this movie, I wanna talk.”

******************

By the time Garmadon’s teaching Lloyd how to throw bricks from a roof to some sappy soundtrack, then relocating his dislocated shoulder in a wild tone change, they’re mostly lost for words.

Also kind of enjoying the movie, though no one will admit it. The expressions are funny, and there are some lines that hit home. Sure, Lloyd spends a good ten minutes alternating between sputtering and gaping when Garmadon describes their family history, and only proceeds to get worse when everyone else receives powers and he gets a cute little tree branch, but it is fun to watch their onscreen counterparts run around to “I’ve Got the Power” playing cheerfully in the background. Plus, no one tries to ostracize Lloyd again, and it’s oddly satisfying to watch Garmadon get eaten by a giant cat, so by the time Lloyd’s trying to hide suspicious sniffling into the empty popcorn tub while his onscreen counterpart is giving Garmadon his big sappy speech about forgiveness, they might actually give the movie a decent rating.

Cole’s just happy they haven’t been thrown out yet, because they’ve really been pushing it this whole time. But finally, it seems like everyone’s settled down and is keeping perfectly quiet—

“What do you mean, he gets to keep the cat?”

Cole’s hopes and dreams go up in sad, despairing smoke.

“Wait, that’s what’s bothering you?” Nya blinks. “Not the whole, ‘this Lloyd gets his entire family back happy’ part, but the cat part?”

“Well yeah, I’m upset about the cat part!” Lloyd exclaims indignantly. “He gets a giant cat! The size of a skyscraper! What kind of raw deal did my grandfather cut me here, I didn’t even get to keep my dragon! This is so dumb, and — and oh look, now my dad’s all happy and stuff—”

Nya and Zane glance around in alarm. The movie-goers around them seem to be losing the last, lingering shreds of their patience, and Cole wisely decides that this might be a nice time to make an exit. The movie looks like it’s about over, anyways, and—

“—and what, they just have happy family dinners together now?!”

Yeah, they’re leaving.

******************

“Well, that was…enlightening,” Zane says blankly, as they exit the theater. He still looks tragically annoyed at the way the producers decided to portray him, but he’s mostly recovered by now. Probably because he torched his little movie poster on the way out, but who are they to judge.

“I think you mean infuriating,” Kai mutters, glaring at the theater as they leave it behind.

“I don’t know, it wasn’t so bad,” Nya says. “Like, they obviously decided to go for Lloyd’s very sensitive personal life as a focus point, so at least the rest of us got off alright.”

“Giant cat,” Lloyd mourns, clearly still more hung-up on that than Ninjago’s apparent obsession with his family drama.

“I just wanna try that lightning thing later,” Jay says. “Know any doors I can practice busting open dramatically?”

“Yeah, the door to the producer’s office,” Kai grumbles.

“Enough, guys,” Cole sighs. “It was a lot better than it could’ve been. Let’s just be happy the city still likes us enough to make us the heroes.”

They all nod at that, placated for now, at least. They fall into silence, carefully navigating their way home, until Jay breaks the quiet.

“Your heroes on the wa-a-ay,” Jay murmurs. He’s met with five looks of equal disappointment. “What?” he shrugs. “It’s catchy.”

Cole rolls his eyes, and Kai scoffs. They fall back into silence for a beat, their footsteps the only sound on the street, then—

“Something-something save the da-a-ay,” Lloyd hums.

Jay beams, and Kai moans. Nya just grins. “Gonna something-something pla-a-ace—”

“That takes us higher!”

They dissolve into snickers, their mix of off-key singing echoing across the Ninjago City streets. Cole spares a sigh of despair at their attempt, but he can’t help grinning too. It is a catchy song, and, to be fair, for trying to capture their general team spirit, it comes pretty close.

A lot closer than half that movie did, he frowns. Though he does still want that shirt his counterpart wore.

“Hey,” Jay speaks up. “Let’s learn that Garmadon song next. We can sing it to him in battle.”

“Oh, now you’re talking.”

#lego ninjago #ninjago #tlnm #sort of #lloyd garmadon #jay walker #cole brookstone #zane julien #nya smith #kai smith #the whole gang's here even if they don't wanna be #listen i'll defend this movie til the death bc it's what got me here #but the show ninja would have Opinions #answered #my fic

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hobeymakar · 4 years

Text

Unapologetically | C. Makar Part 1

Chapter word count: 3,526

A/N: Title from the song Unapologetically by Kelsea Ballerini. This is my first chaptered fic in a long time and my first written on here, so please be kind. This fic is based off a set of very vivid reoccurring dreams I’ve had over the last couple of months that involve Cale and like the true psycho I am, I wrote the big things that happened in those dreams down. Then I decided recently to just turn it to a fic, so this is pretty self-indulgent. Is it possibly narcissistic of me to write a fic about me? Maybe, but I’m gonna write it anyway. This first chapter is gonna be a lil boring and weird because it has a lot of time skips but Chapter 2 will be much more exciting and way better

Shoutouts: @pizzasloot and @hockey-and-wine for being my biggest cheerleaders for writing for this fic in the gc and also shoutout to @grenawitka for always keeping the gc lit. I love you girls!

Warnings: explicit language, alcohol use

Tatyana “Taty” Marie Ventura or “Ace” as she is now being known as, never thought that when she started a podcast in the comfort of her Rhode Island home, that she would kind of blow up. Taty started the Ace of Hockey podcast because she wanted a career in hockey media and wanted to do it her way, being unapologetically herself. She started the podcast and started messaging hockey players and other athletes in hopes that they would come onto the podcast to talk about diversity and inclusion in the sport.

That’s how she finds herself on an early October evening receiving a message from Cale Makar on how he’s a fan of the podcast. She internally screams because she never thought an actual hockey player would listen to the podcast. She assumed only hockey fans would listen to the podcast and that it would never reach the notoriety of other hockey podcasts.

From: calemakar_

Hey, just wanted to say that I’m a big fan of your podcast. Buddy of mine showed it to me and I think it’s fantastic. It’s helping me learn how to be a better ally

To: calemakar_

Thank you so much, that means a lot honestly!

From: calemakar_

You’re welcome. I’ve been showing it to the team and they think it’s great for them to learn how to be better allies

To: calemakar_

Wow, that means so much! I just want people to know that hockey is great but it would be so much better if it became inclusive to everyone regardless of sex, gender, race, ethnicity, religion, etc. I just want hockey to really be for everyone

From: calemakar_

That's what we all want. We don't want anyone to feel like they can't play or enjoy hockey because of who they are

She doesn't know how to keep the conversation because she's awkward and just lets the dm sit there. She turns her attention to the latest hockey news and figuring out who's gonna be her next guest for the podcast.

A few hours later, she sees a follow request on her personal IG account and not the podcast account. She sees it's from Cale and is confused on why he would want to follow her personal account. She barely posts stuff about the podcast on there and uses it more to keep up with family with the occasional posts promoting the podcast and the guests. She accepts the request and doesn't think anything of it.

A few days later, she notices that he's been liking her posts and viewing her stories. He's been seeing her interact with family and friends and she still doesn't understand why he cares enough to keep up with her personal account. It starts becoming weird when he adds her on snapchat.

She sends him a dm on instagram to make sure it's actually him and not someone pretending to be him.

To: calemakar_

This might sound totally weird but did you just add me on snapchat?

From: calemakar_

Yeah I'm sorry. Josty thought it would be funny to hijack my phone and add you

To: calemakar_

No need to apologize, I just wanted to make sure it was actually you and not someone trying to be you to catfish girls

From: calemakar_

Yeah no, definitely my account

She accepts him as a friend on Snapchat and sends him a message.

To: Cale Makar

Hope it's okay I added you back

From: Cale Makar

Yeah, that's cool. You didn't have to tho. Don't want you to feel like you had to

To: Cale Makar

Trust me I added you back because I wanted to. I don't just accept anybody

She hits send before she can even think twice about it but then she reads it back and wants the ground to swallow her whole. She panics as she watches the delivered turn into a read and the little bubbles show up saying he's typing. It feels like forever before Cale sends a response back.

From: Cale Makar

Well I'm glad you didn't add me back out of pity

She doesn't know how to respond to that right away so she opens up other messages and posts updates on her work on her story. She goes back to the messages and starts typing a response, not wanting to leave him on read forever.

To: Cale Makar

Why would anybody do that?

She exits out of it and hopes that her attempts at extending a conversation aren't met with disappointment.

From: Cale Makar

I admit you got me there

To: Cale Makar

I get people to say that a lot

From: Cale Makar

Never picked you as the type to brag

To: Cale Makar

There's a lot of layers to me and a lot of things you don't know about me

From: Cale Makar

Well I hope I get to know more about you

She blinks multiple times not knowing if the message was actually real. After blinking several times, she realizes the message was real and she lets out a squeal. Is he actually flirting with her? She pinches herself because she must be dreaming. There's no way her favorite hockey player and crush is flirting with her. Shit like that doesn't happen to her! She has zero game and has been on a grand total of zero dates in her life. She has had zero boyfriends and girlfriends in her life, so this is something brand new for her.

Maybe she's reading it wrong? Maybe he's just being polite and isn't actually flirting. She decides it's better not to stress it and just go with the flow.

That's how she approaches the next couple of weeks with her pumping out content for her podcast, working her actual day job, and working on her social media game for the podcast. She also dms tons of people she sees as potential guests on the podcast.

Her conversations with Cale become more frequent as she eventually finds herself sending him snaps daily. He actually feels comfortable enough to comment on her posts on her personal IG page now and she honestly doesn't know how this is all even real.

Like before she's not stressing it and is going with the flow. However, on the day of Cale's 22nd birthday, she gets hit with a message that causes her to freak out a little.

From: Cale Makar

Hey, is it cool if I got your number? It's much easier if I can just text you. I like you and want to keep getting to know you more

She hyperventilates because she has never had another human being shoe this much interest in her, her whole life. She pinches herself to make sure it's real and it really is real. Cale Makar actually asked for her number. She doesn't know if she should be jumping for joy or preparing for something to go wrong. This is completely uncharted waters for her and she doesn't know if she should go with her heart or her mind. Her mind is telling her not to do it, but her heart is telling her to do it. After a minute, she decides to go with her heart.

To: Cale Makar

Yeah, that's totally cool! (xxx-xxx-xxxx)

She sees a text from an unknown number a minute later pop up on her phone

From: xxx-xxx-xxxx

Hey, it's Cale

She saves the number under the name "Cale 🥰" and types out a response

To: Cale 🥰

Hey, happy birthday btw! Hope you're having fun!

From: Cale 🥰

Thank you I'm in Calgary rn with my family

To: Cale 🥰

Glad you're having fun with them

From: Cale 🥰

Thank you it's good to be back home

To: Cale 🥰

I can imagine! I'll let you get back to your family

She focuses on getting ready for Halloween, which also happens to be her sister's birthday. Her sister is turning 21 this year and she wants to make the most of it, even in the midst of a pandemic. They plan on going to Salem, Massachusetts with family and throwing a little party at a cousin's house in Brookline, Massachusetts. She sees Cale post pictures and videos on his Snapchat story of him and his family celebrating his birthday. She sees all his teammates wishing him a happy birthday on Instagram and Twitter.

As she’s getting ready to go to bed that night, she gets a video call from Cale.

“Hello?” she asks, not knowing why he would be calling her.

“Ace!” he shouts, causing her to cringe slightly.

“How’s your birthday going?” she asks.

“Great! I’m with my brother and some buddies from back home! We got a bonfire going on right now!” he explains, showing off the fire and his brother and friends.

She wants the ground to swallow her whole because she looks absolutely disgusting with her hair tied up in a bun, and old URI sweatpants and an URI sweatshirt on. She has no makeup on and she’s pretty sure she has some acne on her face.

“Hey Ace! I’m Taylor, Cale’s brother!” Taylor shouts in excitement.

She can clearly tell that he’s buzzed, as well as Cale.

“Hey Taylor,” she smiles, waving at him politely.

His buddies also introduce themselves and she can tell that they’re also slightly buzzed. A part of her hopes that they aren’t driving and are gonna make it back home safely whether tonight or the following day.

“You should come!” one of his friends suggests.

“I’d love to but I live in America and the border is still closed,” she replies, feeling slightly awkward.

“It’s a shame! I know Cale really misses his girl right now!” another friend chimes in, causing her to almost choke on her wine.

“I’m not his-”

“He won’t stop talking about you! He’s got it bad for you!” another friend adds, causing her to blush even more.

If the ground would swallow her up right now, that would be amazing because she can't believe the shit that she’s hearing right now. She doesn’t know if it’s the alcohol that has his friends saying that but a part of her wishes it’s true. God, a part of her wants him to want her because she definitely likes him. She likes everything about him but she’s too much of a loser to put herself out there more. So she just lets him do all the talking and flirting because once again, she has no game.

“Shut up Taylor!” Cale cries out, shoving his brother lightly.

“Well you seem to be having a fun time with your friends,” she says, not wanting to bring up anything that was said about his feelings for her.

“It would be better if you were here,” he adds, his voice dropping slightly in volume.

“Yeah, well maybe we’ll meet one day,” she adds, not wanting to sound desperate to meet him or anything.

“When I get back to the States, I’ll make that a reality,” he replies, sounding sincere for being slightly intoxicated.

She’s reminded of the saying that drunken words are sober thoughts and gets a warm feeling in her stomach.

“Well I’ll let you keep having fun, birthday boy. I’ll talk to you later,” she smiles.

“Bye Ace,” he smiles back, before ending the call.

She immediately refills her glass of wine because she’s definitely too sober to be thinking about all the feelings Cale manages to give her every time they talk. She eventually falls asleep and if she dreamed about being in Calgary with Cale, she’ll blame it on the alcohol fucking with her dreams.

The next day is a busy one for Taty as she celebrates her sister’s 21st birthday in the best way she can while in the middle of a pandemic. They go to Salem, Massachusetts and have a blast doing many Halloween-related activities and then once it gets late, they head down to their cousin’s place in Brookline, Massachusetts to watch Halloween movies and to have a good time. Her sister decides to get drunk and Taty posts all their adventures on her Snapchat and her Instagram. She also sees that Cale has been posting his Halloween adventures on Snapchat, which aren’t as exciting this year because there’s no Avs Halloween party this year due to it still being the offseason and not everyone on the team is in Denver at the moment.

The next few weeks go by for Taty and it eventually gets to the point that she’s video chatting with Cale every day. They sometimes will stay up until late at night just talking and getting to know each other. Every day she’s becoming more comfortable and it’s on the first day of training camp, where she decides she’s finally gonna grow a pair and let him know how she feels.

He calls her after a long day at training camp and she actually has the time to talk to him as she isn’t working on anything for the podcast or her day job.

“How was camp?” she asks him, as she locks herself in her room.

The last thing she needs is for her nosy ass sisters to eavesdrop on her conversations with Cale.

“It was tiring but fun. It was great to be out there with the guys again, even though everything is so weird with the virus going on,” he explains.

“Oh I bet, I can’t imagine all the testing and the extra precautions you guys have to take. The whole season is gonna be super weird huh,” she replies.

“Yeah, weird is a bit of an understatement,” he chuckles lightly.

“I really like you,” she blurts out, then immediately wishes the ground would swallow her whole.

She buries her face in her hands and contemplates ending the call to save herself from further embarrassment.

“Oh thank god! I was starting to think you didn’t really feel the same,” he admits, biting his lip.

“No I definitely like you. It’s just I’m new to this. I’ve never dated before or anything. I’m kind of a giant loser if you haven’t already caught on,” she admits, almost rambling at the end.

“Yeah no, you’re not a loser! You’re the coolest, most fun girl I’ve ever talked to and I just want to keep getting to know you because I really like you,” he assures her.

"So are we putting a label on this? Are we dating?" she asks.

"I guess you can say we're long distance dating," he chuckles lightly.

"I did know our video chats were considered dates," she teases.

"I was seeing them as dates and I want our future ones to be considered dates," he confesses.

"Alright so set up our next date," you tease.

"I know you're recording for the podcast tomorrow so what about Wednesday?" he asks.

"I'm off work Wednesday so that would be perfect. What time works for you?" she asks him.

"8pm my time," he answers.

"Yeah that works for me," she smiles.

"So it's a date?" he asks.

"Yeah it's a date," she smiles, getting a warm feeling in her stomach.

She tells him about some funny stories involving her family and he tells her some funny stories from training camp. They chat for hours and before she knows it, it's past midnight and she has to go to work in the morning.

“I need to go to bed. I have work in the morning. Goodnight Cale,” she yawns, waving at him

“Goodnight love,” he waves back, ending the call.

If she cheeses a little at the fact he called her love, no one is around to see it.

December goes by pretty quickly and she feels bad that her calls with Cale become less frequent. December is the busiest month at work because everyone is doing Christmas shopping (being a store manager is hard work) and she finds herself working double the amount of hours she worked before the holiday season. Add doing the podcast three times a week and she’s absolutely gassed. Luckily, Cale doesn’t hold it against her because he starts getting more busy with preseason starting and his parents coming down for the holidays. Taylor is currently in the middle of his final season in the AJHL so he can’t make the trip down to Denver for the holidays. They text each other every day throughout the month however, and she manages to call him on Christmas and on New Year’s Eve, asking him if he’s excited for the new season to start on the 2nd.

2021 starts off worse than 2020 started because of the pandemic but Taty manages to make the best of it. She watches the Winter Classic while on video call with Cale. Luckily, the Avalanche start their season off at home again this year. The following day, she finds herself rushing home from work to be able to catch the Avs first game of the season against the Wild. She makes it home and takes a quick shower before changing into her Cale jersey and joggers. She quickly eats dinner before going into her room. She puts the game on and makes it just in time for the players to come out to the ice. She watches the game and manages to text Cale throughout the game knowing that he won’t see the string of texts until after the game. He finishes the game with one assist and 2 hits, as the Avs win 4-2 to start off the new season on a high note.

As she’s getting ready for bed, she gets a call from Cale.

“Hey, great game,” she smiles, trying not to show how tired she is.

“Oh shit, I just realized how late it is over there,” he sighs, not wanting to keep her up.

“It’s okay. I always stay up past my bedtime to talk to you,” she teases.

“How was work?” he asks.

“Annoying. We’re winding down from the holiday season but we still got a lot of people shopping and returning stuff,” she explains.

“I don’t know how you do it honestly, being so young and running a store, I mean,” he explains.

“Yeah well luckily I’m only an assistant manager,” she replies.

“Still pretty incredible what you do,” he assures her.

“Says the NHL superstar,” she scoffs.

“Hey, I’m not a superstar at all! I’m just another player like everybody else trying to be the best at my position,” he explains.

“Why do you have to be so humble all the time?” she teases.

“It’s just who I am,” he shrugs.

“And I love you for it but like just admit you’re a superstar,” she replies.

“Fine, I’m a superstar. Happy now?” he teases.

“The happiest. When are your parents going back to Calgary?” she asks, switching the subject.

“Tomorrow,” he answers.

“I’m glad you got to have them with you for the holidays, though,” she adds.

“Yeah, it was great seeing them again. I just wish Taylor could’ve been here,” he replies.

“Yeah well you’ll see him once his season ends and on the bright side, he’ll be at UMass next season,” she adds.

“Yeah I just miss him. I always go home for Christmas and this year I couldn’t,” he explains.

“Yeah I can’t imagine what that’s like but it will get better,” she assures him.

“Yeah I know it will,” he nods.

“I wish I could be there to make you feel better,” she sighs.

“Yeah, well we’ll see each other next month,” he smiles, a hopeful tone in his voice.

“February 5th can’t come fast enough. I’m gonna blow you away with the best interview you’ve ever done,” she teases, referring to her interviewing him for the podcast.

“I guess we’ll have to see about that,” he teases back.

“You wound me, Makar!” she fake gasps.

“I’ll make it up to you with a killer real first date,” he smiles.

“I’ll hold you to that. I expect to be really wooed,” she teases.

“It’s gonna be the best date you’ve ever been on,” he almost guarantees.

“It’s gonna be the first date I’ve ever been on,” she informs him.

“I know. That’s why it’s gonna be the best you’ve ever been on,” he jokes, causing her to roll her eyes.

“You’re so funny, Makar,” she deadpans.

“Stop acting like I don’t make you laugh all the time, Ventura,” he teases.

“What happened to humble Cale? I like him better than this smug one I got here,” she teases back.

“Stop acting like you don’t like it,” he replies.

“Yeah, I like every side to you,” she admits.

“Well that’s good because I like every side of you,” he smiles.

She feels her cheeks heat up and that warm fuzzy feeling return to her stomach. Is this what falling in love feels like? She’s never felt this way before and god, she hopes the feeling never fades because it’s amazing. No wonder people love falling in love so much, it’s magical and she hopes she doesn’t fuck it up. She just counts down the days until February 5th praying to god that nothing goes wrong once they finally meet.

#cale makar #colorado avalanche #hockey #nhl writing #nhl fanfiction #cale makar fanfic #hockey fanfiction #nhl #nhl players #nhl imagines #cale makar imagine

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hotchley · 4 years

Text

“sit down and shut up”

morehotchcontent day five: kisses (counting kisses)

tagged: @ablogofthecriminalmindsvariety @whoreforthebauteam

but most of all, he was proud of the man he loved. he remembered when aaron hotchner had first joined the unit, nervous but bubbly, with hair that fell across his forehead and got in his eyes. they’d both been married then. the job had taken that away from both of them.

which is how they found each other all over again. and now they were happy. dave had his own way of expressing that. to other people, it may have seemed extreme, but dave was Italian. it was what he did. and besides, aaron wasn’t complaining so he had no reason to stop.

in which david rossi just likes kissing aaron hotchner,

it’s still thursday somewhere (it’s 11:12 pm in the uk, but i’m feeling dramatic)

read on ao3!

David Rossi was a proud man. He was proud of his job, of the people he’d saved and the criminals he had put away. He was proud of how the Behavioural Analysis Unit, which so many people had scoffed at when it was first founded, had flourished. He was proud of the kids in the unit for continuing to brave their jobs and be unapologetically human.

But most of all, he was proud of the man he loved. He remembered when Aaron Hotchner had first joined the unit, nervous but bubbly, with hair that fell across his forehead and got in his eyes. They’d both been married then. The job had taken that away from both of them.

Which is how they found each other all over again. And now they were happy. Dave had his own way of expressing that. To other people, it may have seemed extreme, but Dave was Italian. It was what he did. And besides, Aaron wasn’t complaining so he had no reason to stop.

one

When one of you was a parent, and the other was an ex-marine, you got used to waking up with the sun. But where Dave actually enjoyed mornings, Aaron liked to bury his head in the pillow for as long as was humanly possible.

“Morning sweetness,” Dave said, when Aaron’s eyes fluttered open.

Aaron groaned. “It’s too early for this crap.”

Dave tutted. “Don’t let Jack hear you say that.”

The look Aaron gave him would have bought unsubs to their knees. But Dave was not an unsub. He was Aaron’s partner. And he knew exactly how to make that man smile.

Before Aaron could roll over, Dave extended his hand, giving Aaron plenty of time to understand what he was about to do. When Aaron didn’t tense, Dave gently caressed his cheek before pressing a soft kiss to his forehead. Aaron’s eyes closed at the contact, some of the tension he’d been carrying released.

“I’ll make us breakfast,” Dave said.

Aaron smiled, eyes still closed.

two

“I’ll make the coffee,” Aaron offered, entering the kitchen in one of Dave’s old t-shirts and his own jogging bottoms. His hair was still an untamed mess, just the way Dave loved it. It was always lovely at the end of the day to watch as Agent Hotchner became Aaron, but the best part was how he’d take the gel out and allow his hair to become all scruffy again.

“That’d be lovely. But that’s all you’re doing okay? As soon as you’ve done that, go and sit,” he said.

Aaron nodded, and for once in his life, did as he was told.

When Dave bought the plates into the dining room, Aaron was smiling down at his phone. Good. He wasn’t checking his work email.

“What is it?” he asked.

“Jack’s school uploaded some of the pictures from their camping trip. He looks happy,” Hotch said, tilting the phone so Dave could see.

“Good kid,” Dave said. When Aaron tried to take his plate, he tutted.

Aaron rolled his eyes, but stood up nonetheless. Dave kissed his cheek this time, before setting the plate down in front of him, delighting in the slight flush that appeared where he’d kissed him.

three

“We’re going out,” Dave announced, entering Hotch’s office without knocking.

Hotch looked up from his file. “Dave.”

“Aaron.”

“I can’t,” Hotch said. “I have all of this paperwork, and if I stop then it’ll just build even more and then I’ll have to stay later which will impact everything else, so don’t Aaron me. Get one of the others to go with you.”

Rossi knew Hotch wasn’t annoyed at him, he was just agitated by everything he was supposed to be doing. He flicked through a few of the files.

“First of all, these aren’t even yours, they’re the teams. So really, they should be in the bullpen. Second of all, these-” he held up another few “-are technically mine. Third, I can and will Aaron you whenever I want because I don’t want a member of the team to go with me. I want you.”

Aaron sighed, then stood up. Dave smiled and extended his arm. Out of habit, the other man glanced out the window of his office, just to make sure the team were all okay before taking the arm being offered to him as he allowed himself to be escorted out of his office. And hey, if Derek used that moment to grab a few extra files for Reid, well Hotch didn’t have to know.

“Thank you for not giving up on me,” Aaron said, twenty minutes later, as they were sat in the park eating ice-cream.

“It wasn’t exactly hard to love you Aaron. You’re a good man. Kind. Passionate. Handsome. I mean, what is there not to like?”

Aaron smiled, that awkward one he got whenever someone complimented him as he turned away slightly. Dave shifted so the space between them was significantly reduced and kissed Hotch’s shoulder, no longer covered by the blazer he’d convinced him to shed for the sake of comfort.

He saw Hotch mouth something to himself, but he couldn’t tell what.

It didn’t matter though. He’d made Aaron get some fresh air and forced him to relax for a few minutes. That was classed as a win in anyone’s book.

four

Dinner in the Hotchner-Rossi household was always interesting. Aaron had never been a particularly gifted cook, but after Haley’s passing, he started making more of an effort because unfortunately, Jack could not survive on chicken nuggets and boxed macaroni.

Dave had been more than willing to aid the Hotchner’s in their cooking journey. Some days he’d helped Aaron cook, other days he’d taught both of them a new recipe. And on some particularly difficult days, he had cooked something simple and light, just to keep them both going.

Now, it was a combined effort. Aaron usually did the preparations, as that was more set in stone. There were only so many ways one could crush garlic and most recipes defined how things were supposed to be cut up. It was regimented. Repetitive. Most of the prep for the dishes they made together was simple. A mind-numbing task that helped him get rid of the stress from the day.

Rossi would do the actually cooking because that was where things would get a bit more abstract. Aaron would often worry too much that it wasn’t going to be completely perfect, or that it wouldn’t be exactly what the recipe said, whereas Dave was much more willing to eyeball it all.

Normally, Dave would just watch as Aaron moved round his kitchen with ease, chopping up vegetables and getting the saucepans out. Hotch didn’t understand why Dave would want to watch him do such basic, boring tasks. Dave said that was the entire reason: he liked seeing Aaron Hotchner being domestic. It made his heart warm.

Today however, he chose to invade his personal space. He uttered a soft greeting as he entered, not wanting to spook him and gently rubbed his shoulders in a lightly massaging gesture.

“Hi,” Aaron whispered.

Dave pressed a soft kiss to his shoulder, smiling when Aaron relaxed. Deciding to be a bit more forward, he slowly started kissing the area not covered by his shirt, delighting in the breathless sigh Aaron released as he kissed the area where his shirt collar would not cover it.

“We’re going to end up in the E.R if you keep doing that,” Aaron warned.

Almost immediately, Dave pulled away, smirking when the Aaron Hotchner actually whined.

“We wouldn’t want that now, would we?”

He sauntered away after that.

five

“It’s quiet without Jack,” Dave said.

Aaron’s grip on his fork tightened minutely.

Dave cringed. “I’m sorry. I forgot how it must have felt then. Not knowing when you were next going to see him.”

Hotch shook his head. “It’s fine. You’re right. It is quiet.”

They had pretty much finished eating. Aaron was missing his son again, so he hadn’t eaten most of what was on his plate. Dave had planned for that, so the meal was more filling than usual. And it would last in the fridge for a few days. Jack was coming home in two days, which meant it would finish and nothing would be wasted.

“Why don’t we rectify that then?” Dave said, holding his hand out.

Aaron frowned.

“Dance with me. Just for five minutes. I promise you’ll feel so much better.”

Aaron let himself be pulled into the living room, not even hesitating to leave Dave lead. The trust he placed in him never failed to amaze him. He just knew that if wishes did come true, his only one would be that Aaron Hotchner never stopped looking at him with that adoration in his eyes.

When the second song came to an end, he placed his own hands over Aaron’s, then bought them to his lips and kissed them, feeling very much like a prince meeting his princess for the first time.

“My liege,” he joked.

Aaron grinned.

six

It was getting late, and so they had decided to head up to bed. Dave was doing a rough plan for his next novel- on pen and paper as that was the only proper way to do the first draft- and Aaron was reading one of those cliché romance novels. Dave thought it was hilarious that he liked to read about country girls falling in love with city boys, but Aaron said he liked to read about nice things, especially since their entire lives revolved around criminals existing.

When Aaron yawned again, Dave decided it was time to admit defeat. Neither of them liked to be the one to admit they were too tired to stay awake- probably because it reminded them that they were both getting older- but Dave was willing to do whatever it took to make Aaron establish healthy sleeping patterns.

Including swallowing his pride.

“I think I’m going to go to sleep now,” he said.

Aaron nodded, bookmarking his page. “That seems like a good idea.”

Dave slid off the bed and switched the light off. The door was closed. The windows were locked with the curtains drawn. When Dave switched the main light off, Aaron flicked the lamp on. He couldn’t sleep in complete darkness. He hadn’t for a while.

Aaron had been terrified that Dave would laugh the first time they slept in the same bed and he’d needed the light on. Obviously, he hadn’t. Instead, he had flicked both lamps on (they were on a case, nothing more needed to be said) and held him through the night.

Now, Aaron didn’t need any encouragement to let Dave cuddle him.

But before sleep could take them, Dave kissed him, once, on the lips.

“Six,” Aaron said, voice already quiet and sleepy.

“What was that?”

“You kissed me six times today. That has to be above the average.”

“What can I say? You’re above the average.”

The last thing Dave heard before he fell asleep was Aaron’s laugh.

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