#do y'all remember that guy that snapped his dick in half? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mermaidxatxheart · 3 years

Text

Better Together Chapter Eight

Here's Chapter 8, y'all. My work is not to be posted on any other site. If you'd like to be added to my tag list, send me an ask.

Pairing: Poe Dameron x Reader

Word Count: 4.9k

Warnings: language, violence, descriptions of torture.

Series Master List

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

You climb down from the tower, trying to dry your eyes. You dust your hands off and head for the lab. You don’t want to study these stupid flowers, you just want to forget that whole stupid fucking planet. Your eyes won’t stop watering, your throat thick and painful as you try not to burst into tears again.

You round a corner, glancing behind you as you wipe your eyes again. The skin around them is starting to feel raw as you rub them endlessly. There’s something in the middle of the walkway that shouldn’t be there. You turn back to look at what you’ve walked into, stumbling back as fingers wrap around your shoulders.

“Y/N,” Poe breathes, eyes fluttering closed.

Oh, Maker. Your lower lip trembles as you look at his beautiful face, the rejection from earlier swirling up and stifling you. Your eyebrows pinch against your will, eyes starting to squint as the tears threaten to overtake you. Fighting for control, you struggle to smooth out your forehead, but no matter how hard you try, it won’t relax. You inhale sharply through your nose and his eyes fly open.

“Oh, sweetheart.” He mumbles, pulling you in for a hug. It hurts, feeling him care about you this way. You don’t hug him back, keeping your arms rigid by your sides. If you let yourself give in, it will only make things harder. “Y/N, I’m so sorry.” He whispers, burying his face in your neck. “I didn’t mean… this morning…” he takes a shuddering breath. “Please? Just… pl-please.” He hugs you tighter, his voice breaking.

“Poe,”

“Don’t you think I want… if I let myself ki-“ he cuts off audibly. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.” He whispers.

“What do you want from me?” You ask, but it comes out colder than you mean it to.

“Forgive me? You have to know I would do anything for you. Anything you ask of me.”

“You didn’t do anything that needs to be forgiven.” You say softly, your arms curling around his back, your willpower crumbling.

“In my room-“ he starts.

“I shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have put you in that position.” You sigh, turning your face into his neck. “Moment of weakness. Will you forgive me?” You ask.

His soft lips press into your neck and you shiver at the unexpected touch. “Nothing to forgive.” He murmurs, lifting his head up to trail up your neck. Your heart thrums erratically in your chest as his lips brush your jawline. “Please tell me you haven’t been crying all day because I’m an asshole.”

“No.” You say, barely more than a whisper. It’s all you can manage as his lips trail up your cheek. “I finished my report for Leia.” You say and he tenses. “Poe? I know… I know I don’t deserve it, but can we talk about the river?” You ask quietly.

“I liked the river.” He mumbles against your cheek. You desperately want to turn your head, to catch his lips with yours. Maker, you feel like you’re on an emotional rollercoaster, high then low, upside down, then backwards.

“I meant what happened in the river.” You correct.

“Liked that, too.” That earns a weak chuckle.

“You shouldn’t have.” You mumble.

“Y/N,” he groans, guiding you against the wall. He brushes his thumb along your jaw. “What’s bothering you? Tell me. You have so much that you’re not saying and it just breaks my heart.”

Your holopad beeps and you close your eyes. “I have to get to the lab.” You twist your face away.

“I have literally nothing else to do. We can talk on the way.” He says, taking your hand.

“You don’t have to.” You look at him suspiciously. “Why send poor Snap to my room earlier?” You ask and he tips his head back, laughing.

“For funsies.”

“Pando? What the hell was that about?” You ask, his fingers intertwined with yours.

“Lando Calrissian. You mentioned he was an inspiration of yours to become a pilot. I figured you would get the reference. Poe, Lando, we’re both pilots.” He shrugs and you roll your eyes.

“I mentioned Calrissian once, five years ago. I can’t believe you remembered that.”

“I remember everything.” He promises. “How was your caf?” He hints.

“Better than the one Bryce brought me. Thank you. And for the food.” You add and he beams, lifting your hands to trace your cheek with the backs of his fingers.

“Of course.” He looks at you before facing straight and keeping his lips pressed together.

“You might as well say it. You have a terrible sabaacc face.” You sigh, pulling him into the lab.

“I don’t like him. He’s been dating you for three years and still doesn’t know how you like your caf. It’s not hard. He’s a jerk. And I hate that he kept me from the med bay so I couldn’t see you. I hate that he acts like he owns you.” He picks up your protective lab coat and helps you slide your arms in. You wince in pain but quickly compose your face so he won’t see.

“Anything else?” You look up at him.

“Only a million other things.” He sighs, leaning against your lab bench.

“Tell me.” You say, catching his hand.

He lifts your hand to his mouth, lips parting slightly as he flutters his eyes shut. He inhales deeply, lips moving silently against the back of it.

“Didn’t catch that.”

“This is so fucked up to say, but I’m so proud of you.” He says. “When we were taken, you were incredible. I never should have put you in that position, but you didn’t say anything, not to save me, not to save yourself and, Maker, I’m so fucking proud of you. I didn’t know if I was going to be able to hold out when he started hurting you, but the fact that you weren’t breaking gave me strength.” He bows his head, clinging to your hand. “And I hate the fact that you think we went through all that because of you. None of it, none, was your fault.” He sighs, lifting his eyes to your face. “In fact, if it wasn’t morally the exact wrong thing to do, I would kiss you again in a heartbeat. Over and over. But you’re a good person and that wouldn’t be fair to you.” He murmurs softly.

“Poe,” you plead. It’s all you want, to kiss him.

“I know. I shouldn’t want that. You’re not mine to want that with, but I just… it’s in my head now. How good you taste, how soft your lips are.” He squeezes his eyes shut, cutting off his words and you squeak. You try to get your hands free, you want them in his hair, holding him to you.

“Poe, please!” You struggle and he drops your hands, hurt written all over his face.

“Okay.” He turns to leave and you grab his arm, pulling him back. You cling to his face, pulling his lips against yours. His hands grip your waist and you exhale in a rush. A massive weight is lifted off your shoulders as you kiss him, hold him. His lips part under yours and you moan low in the back of your throat. He clings to you, crushing you against him like he can’t get close enough.

Maker, you could stay like this forever.

He backs you into the lab bench, fingers pressing into your hips and you rock into him, starving. The door hisses open and he jerks back, spinning around and walking away a few steps.

Nya walks around the corner and looks up to see you fiddling with your holopad. Having barely recovered your wits, you grabbed the first thing your hands landed on.

“Y/N.” She greets with a smile. It’s fake and you want to slap her, but you just tighten your grip on your holopad instead.

“Nya. What are you doing here?” You ask, trying for polite at least and failing horribly. Poe smirks at you over the shelf he’s studying.

“Looking for you, actually.” She says, heading over and you internally groan.

“What did I do?” You ask and she laughs lightly.

“Nothing yet.” She promises. “Your plants are in bin Cin17.” She says, handing over the packet she’s holding.

“Oh. Thanks.”

She smiles at you and turns to walk away. You glance at Poe and he shrugs, coming back over. “That was odd.” He comments.

“Odd? That’s literally the nicest she’s ever been to me.” You sigh, turning back to your bench.

“I wonder why.”

“Maybe she wants something? Maybe she saw my outright panic attack in the dining hall and is getting off on my suffering.” You sigh.

“Or. On a slightly less negative note. Maybe she missed you? Maybe she realized she’s in love with you and now she wants to make it right and have babies with you.” He says and by the end, you’re laughing much harder than you should be. You double over, grasping your knees, your entire midsection aching for various reasons.

“Fuck, you’re gonna make me rip my stitches.” You gasp.

“It wasn’t that funny.” He mumbles.

“Oh man, you’re a funny guy, Dameron.” You pant, standing up and wiping your forehead.

“Thanks.” He mutters dryly. “May I ask what, exactly, was so funny about that?”

“Nya. Liking me? She’s so into dick, it’s all she talks about sometimes. Everyone who has one is in her sights. Especially you, Commander. And then babies with me? Come on. Get serious.”

“Just her? Or anyone in general is unbelievable?” He asks, an odd, stiff texture to his voice.

“I dunno. Anyone? I never really thought I’d make a good mom.” You shrug, heading for the containers now that you’re back under control.

“Really? I do.” He says and your face heats.

“Moot point at the moment. Bryce doesn’t want kids.” You say and he groans.

“Just when I think…” he rubs his face. “I gotta go. I’ll see you later.” He mumbles, swiftly heading for the door.

“Wait, Poe!” You call, half turning.

Too late. He’s gone.

***

You’ve never been punched before. Training was always hand to hand, blocking blows or fighting with weapons. They don’t teach you how to take a punch, or five, or twenty.

It doesn’t hurt at first. The impacted spot on your cheek just goes numb. You can feel the cut on the inside from your teeth against the sensitive tissue, but it doesn’t hurt. Yet.

Then after a couple minutes, it turns into a white hot pain. Couple that with fists landing all over your body, and you’re in pain like you’ve never felt before. Tears spill over your cheeks as the fist lands against your nose, cracking your head back against your prison table. You can’t see, can’t feel your face. Your mouth fills with blood, coating your tongue and spilling down your chin as you gasp for air. You can feel your lips split in different places.

There isn’t a part of you that doesn’t hurt, but you hold onto Poe. He didn’t give them anything, so you can’t either. You can’t let him have suffered for nothing.

The trooper stops, rolling his shoulder. “Answer me. Where is your base?”

You spit the blood out of your mouth at his feet. “That all you got? I was just getting into it.” You say and he grumbles, turning to leave for the time being.

You close your aching eyes and drop your head against the support. It’s not comfortable by any stretch of the word, but it’s better than having to hold your head up anymore.

The image from your nightmare flashes in front of your eyes, Poe fighting the invisible enemy, only now it’s not so invisible. A StormTrooper is wielding the blade, plunging it deep into Poe’s heart.

You jerk upright in your bed, upsetting your holopad and sending it crashing to the floor. You flip on the light, unnerved and feeling like you're not alone in your room. But there doesn’t seem to be anything there. Just your clothes on the floor.

You push yourself to your feet, not feeling safe here, and grab your blanket, wrapping it around your shoulders. You want to go see Poe, make sure he’s okay, be positive your nightmares haven’t gotten him yet.

But he doesn’t want to see you. Having avoided you for the rest of the day, you get the hint. A moment of weakness. That’s what that kiss was. You were there and he needed someone. Could have been Nya, probably for all he would have minded. Any port in the storm.

So, you bypass his room and head for the tower where you ate your lunch. It’s quiet, dark, you can see anything coming for you. You climb the steps slowly, feeling the familiar pinch of your stitches. They’re still ugly, crude, jagged. Maybe it’s good that Poe doesn’t really want you. No one could possibly love the new mutilated you. Bryce hasn’t seen them yet, either. You’re positive that the second he does, he’ll run for the hills.

Maker, you’re selfish.

You push open the door and a body in the tower makes you freeze. “Oh.” You mumble, realizing it’s Poe. “Sorry. I’ll leave.” You rush, ducking back down.

“Stay.” He croaks and you hesitate. “I can’t sleep. Stay and talk to me?”

“You sure you want me to?” You ask.

“I’d rather it be you than anyone else.” He admits.

You feel like leaves on the wind as you climb the rest of the way up. Swirling around in chaotic confusion. You don’t know which way is up, what to trust. You sit a little ways away, back against the wall, facing him.

“What do you want me to talk about?” You ask finally.

He drags a stick through the dirt, making scratch drawings. “I told you some stuff earlier. Spilled some of my guts. Anything you wanna tell me?” He asks finally.

“Yes.” You answer. It’s harder than you think to get these words out. “I…” you close your mouth, thinking about where to start.

“Not easy. To spill your secrets.” He muses. The pale moonlight ghosts across his face. He looks terrible. Tired, hurt, miserable.

“Anything you wanna ask me?” You prompt. “Maybe I can say it that way.”

He looks at you warily. “Will you tell me the truth?”

“Always.” You answer immediately.

“Why did you kiss me in the river?” He asks. “I’ve been thinking over it on a loop and I just can’t figure it out.”

“It felt… right. I needed to do it. I wanted to do it. You’ve always been the best person in the world to me, always taking care of me and looking out for me. And on that planet, I was losing my fucking m-mind, seeing things, hearing things. You were so patient, so kind, so… you. And I could feel tension. Not in a bad way, but pulling me towards you. I’m so sorry, Poe. I know you said I didn’t do it, but I can’t shake the feeling that if I hadn’t, if I hadn’t distracted you, you would have heard those troopers coming. You’ve never been so compromised on a mission before until you go on one with me. I fucked up so bad and I’ll never be able to forgive myself for hurting you like that.” You ramble, the dam broken and the words spill out everywhere. He doesn’t move in the shadows.

He doesn’t say anything for a long time. Your ears start to ring in the dead silence before he speaks again. “So, why kiss me in the lab?”

You sniffle quietly. “You admitted you wanted to do it again, and it’s been one of the dominating thoughts in my head since you saved me in that closet. I want to kiss you. And I like kissing you, but… the guilt… it just keeps reminding me that I’m hurting everyone. Every time I kiss you, I hurt Bryce. Every time I mention him, I hurt you. I can’t get it right. I’m turning into a plague.” You press your lips together.

“You had a nightmare in the cave. What was it?” He asks. You’re not even sure if he’s actually listening to your words, he gives no indication of hearing them.

“I,” you pause, having to think back that far. “I was hovering over myself as I slept. You were saying something but I couldn’t really hear it. Then I went outside, but it was into a First Order ship. And then I saw the tables we were attached to. And then two men fighting with lightsabers. And then…” you cut off, swallowing thickly. This part you remember, even though you wish you could forget it. “A-and then you. Y-you were fighting something I c-couldn’t see. It had a bl-blade and it killed you, stabbed you th-through the heart.” You say, gasping for breath. It feels like the surrounding air is crushing you. “I w-woke up and you weren’t there, I pa-panicked.” You twist your fingers into your blanket, hiding your face.

“Do you want to kiss me again?” He asks finally.

“Poe,”

“Do you? If you say no, I’ll never bring it up again.” He promises.

“Of course, I do. But it’s not that easy. I keep hurting you. I don’t know how not to. And being around you, it makes me happy, it makes it easier to breathe. I don’t wanna lose you. I couldn’t survive it.” You admit shamelessly.

“You won’t lose me. I won’t leave you.” He says. “One more thing.” He starts.

“Okay?”

“Do you hate the way dickhead doesn’t know how you like your caf?” He asks and you crack a tearful smile.

“Yes. It’s not hard.” You mumble.

“Come here.” He holds out his arms. “Come sit with me.”

You scoot over, resting your head on his shoulder as he spreads your blanket out over the both of you.

“I need you, too, you know. I can’t lose you, either. And if that means I have to kick Bryce from here to Tatooine, I will.” He says, nuzzling into your hair.

“Please don’t. You’ve been hurt enough on my account.” You close your eyes to him stroking your hair.

“No promises, sweetheart.” He's quiet for so long, you nearly fall asleep. “But I’m not gonna stop kissing you.” He murmurs against your hair.

With one last conscious thought, you dig into your pocket, reaching for his hand with your other one. Sleep is making your limbs like lead, heavy and clumsy. You feel him chuckle a little, placing his wrist in your fumbling palm. You place the chain in his hand, curling his fingers around it.

“Meant to give it to you earlier,” you mumble, almost certain you formed actual words.

“Y/N, ” he chokes, squeezing you tight. “Thank you.”

***

“You have to eat something.” He protests, guiding you down off the ladder. His chain is back around his neck, shimmering against his tan skin as it always has. Some day, he's going to give it to someone; someone he wants to spend the rest of forever with. Someone who isn't broken like you. Someone who actually deserves him. And you'll try to be happy for him, but you know it'll break your heart.

“Can’t you just… go get it for me?” You ask, feeling your hands start to shake at the thought of the crowd.

He smiles softly, brushing your hair back. “Sweetheart. No.”

“Poe…” you start and he cups your face.

“I won’t let anything happen to you, okay? I’ll be right there the whole time.” He promises. “But you have to eat. You need your friends. They miss you.” He looks around, noting the empty pathway. “If you need to leave, we’ll leave. Just say the word.” He presses a kiss to your forehead.

“It’s gonna be loud.” You protest as he takes your hand and leads you towards the commissary and dining hall.

“This early?” He scoffs. He pulls you along gently. You could stop him, you could let the tears free that have been simmering just under the surface since you got back. You know he wouldn’t push you to do it if you’re not ready.

But… he’s gone in there, he’s seen his friends. If he can do it, you can, too. You take an extra step, falling in next to him instead of being pulled by him and he smiles down at you proudly.

“There’s my girl.” He says softly. He holds your hand right up until you stop outside the doors. He lifts your hand to his mouth softly, eyes never leaving your face. “I’ll be right next to you.” He promises. You nod and he lowers your hand, reluctantly letting it go until not even your fingertips are touching.

He pulls open the door and lets you walk inside first. He doesn’t shove you in, instead, he waits for you to take a deep breath, smiling down at you until you straighten with a false sense of confidence, and step inside. He follows you, just barely touching your arm as he guides you to the line of food.

Despite his assurances that the room would be mostly empty, with shift changes and missions leaving early, the room is fairly crowded. You can feel his eyes on you, along with about a hundred others, but you feel better today. Stronger, even. You can do this.

You hope.

Poe picks up two trays and starts to put food on both, watching your face for positive or negative signs. You could do this yourself, you’re perfectly capable, but you like him waiting on you a little bit. Just this one time, let him dote on you.

He finds an empty table, just the two of you and he sits across from you, foot tapping against yours. They trickle over, slowly, one at a time. Your friends come to sit next to you. But this time, they don’t swarm you. They sit next to you, or next to Poe, talking to him about something trivial and you’re so grateful. It lets you get used to it again, being around people, acting human again.

You watch Poe, listening to him joke with Snap; Beaumont sets an apple on your tray as he tells Poe some gossip. And Poe sits there, listening and laughing to all of it. He interacts, partakes, and never once does he look uncomfortable or like he wants to bolt. You don’t know how he does it.

And then Lieutenant Connix walks behind him. She leans down to say something in his ear, her hand squeezing his shoulder as she talks. His hand lifts to cover her own as he twists his face to listen. After a second, he nods and she walks away.

You’ve always liked her, she’s friendly, smart, ambitious. But maybe you need to rethink your ideas. She walks quickly, her hips swaying, and you huff under your breath. Since when are she and Poe so close?

You try to listen, to distract yourself, but you can’t tear your eyes away from where the pretty girl disappeared through. Poe’s foot taps against yours and you flinch, looking up at him slowly. He smiles softly, his eyes falling to your ignored food.

You roll your eyes, picking apart your roll and taking small nibbles. After a couple minutes, Connix is forgotten as Beaumont regales the table with a story of how he got trapped in a wedding dress on Coruscant.

Soon, you’re laughing along with them. You forgot what this feels like, your face hurts from smiling so much. Poe’s beautiful eyes are on you, his own grin infectious.

A crack echoes across the big room and you jump, hands grabbing the table, ready to run. Your heart pounds in your ears and it’s like your vision completely leaves you. Snap’s hand settles on yours closest to him as he shouts something. Your brain slowly fades back in and you realize Poe has your other hand across the table and Beaumont is out of his chair, peering across the room.

Two mechs collided, neither paying attention to what was in front of them, their trays falling to the cement. That was the cracking noise.

Poe’s hand is shaking just slightly, hardly noticeable, as it covers yours, but you feel it. You twist your hand into his and he glances over at you. You smile softly, tracing your thumb over the back of his hand.

Beau sits back down next to you, his eyes searching your face for a minute before he grins. “Never boring, eh, Y/N?” He asks, his hand resting on your shoulder.

“I guess not.” You answer. You pull your hands back and pick up the apple. Poe is quicker than you thought possible, his favorite knife out and the handle pressed into your palm before you can even realize you need one.

You cut the apple in half, core out the middle on both halves and give the other half to your best friend. He’s abnormally quiet for a minute as he chews, and you wonder if maybe he’s not as okay as you thought.

“Wexley, what’s on the agenda today?” You ask Snap, half turning to face him, giving Poe time to recover.

“Well, I have a mission the day after tomorrow. So, I need to get my ship ready. There’s a part that’s being problematic. I have some mechs that are gonna look at it today and see if they can fix it.” He sighs.

“Well, if they have any problems, you can always come find me and see if I can help.” You offer and he grins.

“I just might do that.”

Once Poe is sure you’ve eaten all you possibly can without getting sick, he collects your trays and you join him to deposit them before leaving the room with a wave to your friends.

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” He asks and you slip your hand into his.

“Thank you for making me go.” You say, leaning into his shoulder.

“Of course.” He smiles. “And… thank you.” He sighs, scratching at the back of his neck with his free hand. You cast your mind around, trying to figure out what he could possibly be thanking you for.

“I didn’t do anything.” You frown.

“With that stupid tray… you… fuck. How are you always so strong exactly when I need you to be?”

“Poe, I was ready to bolt. The only thing stopping me was you and Snap.” You tell him. “If you hadn’t grabbed my hand to keep me there, all you would have seen was my dust as I hightailed it out of there.”

He smiles softly, but it’s weak, a little broken. “I didn’t grab your hand to keep you there. I grabbed it to keep me there.” He admits, pausing outside the door to the lab.

You stare up at him, realization dawning much too slowly. “Poe,” you place a hand on his cheek and he leans into it, eyes fluttering closed. “Anything I can do, anything you need-I’ll always be here. You’re not alone.” You whisper and he pulls you close, kissing you softly.

Every time feels like the first time. His lips press against yours like they’ve known each other forever, no hesitation. He tips your head back, towering over you as you hold onto his shirt. His tongue is soft on yours, not domineering and controlling the way… someone else’s is… your subconscious blanks on the name, but it doesn’t matter, not when Poe is kissing you like his very life depends on it. No, like your life depends on it.

He pulls away, breathing slightly faster, forehead pressed to yours. His eyes are closed, but yours are open, drinking in every detail of his beautiful face. “Me and you, kid.” He agrees and you punch his arm, a smile already pulling at your lips. His eyes fly open and he rubs his arm.

“We’re the same age.” You glower and he laughs.

“I know. But you’re so much shorter.” He puts his hand on top of your head and you slap it away, turning towards the door with a huff. You’re about to swipe your keycard, but he pulls you back, plucking it out of your pocket. He swipes it and pushes the door open, letting you step in first.

“Will you stay?” You ask, reaching for your log books.

“Yeah. I don’t have anything else to do. I’m still technically on leave, recovering from…” he trails off, but you get the picture.

“Alright.” You start checking off your supplies and notes while he moves around your lab. You don’t pay him much attention, there isn’t much trouble he can get into. But you feel better having him around.

He looks through every box on the supply shelves, every glass container. You look over at him, catching his eye being magnified through a specimen jar. He looks so ridiculous that you can’t help but snort at him. He grins and straightens up, coming over next to you.

“Didn’t find anything you liked?” You tease, flipping through the last of your notes.

“Oh, I found plenty I like. Just nothing I can take right now.” He sighs wistfully. Your face heats, so you keep your gaze directly away from him. He chuckles and sits in the spinning chair next to your bench.

Chapter Nine

Everything Tag List

@everythingisoverrated @psyched2b @shreddedparchment @bitsandbobsandstuff @after-avenging-hours @alexblrus @thinkingsofamadwoman @i-dont-want-to-be-called @thefridgeismybestie @fortheloveofallthatsholy @crazychaotic @pleasureoftheguiltiestvariety @redstarstan @justreadingfics @themistsofmyavalon @sebastianstanslefteyebrow @wkemeup @thiccbinch @glide-thru @elliee1497 @ellaenchanted91 @part-time-patronus @janeyboo @scarlettwitcher @thirstybitchqueen @stuckonjbbarnes @barnesandco @geeksareunique @nicoleplacee @lexshead @gambitsqueen @lokisironthrone @imanuglywombat @also-fangirlinsweden @ravenesque @murdermornings @countryrockmama @starbuckie @kato-ptris @mandos-crest

Star War Tag List

@bookishofalder @doctor-warthrop @acrossthesestars @waterpancakeao3 @generousrunawaydonut @eclipsedplanet @general-latino @marvelobsessiononastick @itsdameron @mads-weasley @rawrrimamonsterr @diaryofkali @mrsdaamneron @sabxism @fanfictionismydeath

122 notes · View notes

just-jordie-things · 4 years

Text

Can’t Pretend - Richie Tozier

word count: 13,840 warnings: swearing, sexual themes summary: richie and (y/n) share a dirty little secret, and it’s starting to get in the way of her relationship. but it shouldn’t if it was just a fling, right? based on this song (a/n): about to hit 5.4k so I thought I'd celebrate by posting this ol’ thing :) I really like it I hope y'all do too :3

___

[ love... i have wounds, only you can mend // i guess that’s love… i can’t pretend ]

It was a plain saturday for the Losers. And by plain, I mean they were chilling in Bill’s bedroom, thankful that his parents were out of town for the weekend because that meant they could raid the liquor cabinet and be a bit louder than usual.

(y/n) was leaning against the mattress, sat on the floor, a beer bottle in hand and a smile on her face. These were the best kinds of nights, where all they did was talk, and it was all they had to do.

Eddie smacks Richie on his shoulder, but nearly hits his face in his drunken stupor. And when (y/n) laughs, her head leans a little more into Ben’s leg, which is hanging off the side of the bed where he sat. She’s laughing loudly into the denim of his jeans, and the material does nothing to muffle the sound.

Everyone else is laughing too, though, so it doesn’t matter.

“Alright, so is anyone aware that in four months, we won’t see each other like this anymore?” Beverly asks, a frown on her face as she takes another drink. “I mean, what, am I supposed to make new friends?”

“Yeah, good look with that, Ringwald” Richie snorts, and Bev just flips him off, the way she always does when he calls her that.

“We won’t be that far from each other” Ben says to her with a sweet smile.

“And it’s not like we won’t write, too,” Stan chimes in. “Except you Richie, after we graduate, never fucking talk to me again-”

“Oh, I’ll send you love letters every day sweetie pie,” Richie says before Stan can even finish. “Don’t you worry, it’ll be like I’m right there with you”

He sticks his tongue out and snickers, while Stan grumbles about needing a break.

(y/n) can’t help but giggle at both boys. Partially because she gets very giggly when tipsy, and partially because they’re the two funniest people she knows. Richie grins at her when he catches her laughing, only making her laugh more.

“How are w-we gonna do it?” Bill muses, not really looking for an answer, because there really isn’t one.

“We don’t,” (y/n) shrugs. “We avoid it until… there’s not really any other option”

“Dark” Ben mumbled.

“It’s true,” (y/n) argued. “If we go through this year with the mindset that this is the end, then we’ll push each other away, it’s psychology”

Eddie nods because he was in her class and is pretty sure he remembers hearing that.

“So we just live our best year” He agrees with her.

She high fives him.

“Well you’re already on your way,” Beverly said, and stood up from where she sat next to Mike so she could plop down next to her best girl. “What, with your fancy scholarship, and your boyfriend” She singsonged the word, and (y/n) wilted with embarrassment.

“Come on Bev-”

“Are you guys gonna stay together?” Stan asks, the gears in his head turning as soon as her boyfriend was mentioned. “I mean it’s been like… five months, right?”

“Four and a half” (y/n) mumbled, pulling her knees to her chest.

She stares down at her drink, and then takes a long swig. She had a feeling she’d need it.

Talking about her boyfriend when everyone was around was… awkward. It was one thing if it was just her and Beverly, but to have all the boys’ eyes on her every time his name came up made her feel hot, like she was being interrogated.

“So you’re kinda serious,” Stan shrugged. “How many times have you done it?”

She chokes, and coughs for a long moment before catching her breath.

“Stan you don’t get to-”

“Come on, just fess up,” Beverly giggles. “We won’t make fun! Promise!”

(y/n’s) cheeks go hot, and she knows they’re pink and that she’ll only be picked on more for it. She locks eyes with Richie, who winks at her, and now her face must be red.

“We- uh-” Her eyes dart away before she can choke and lose her train of thought again. “We actually um… haven’t… done… that” She says slowly, and with every reluctant word her voice gets softer.

“What?” Eddie screeches.

“No way,” Stan is laughing in disbelief. “Come on, just give up the number. What, ten? Fifteen? Twenty-?!”

(y/n’s) eyes are narrowed at him, silently yelling for him to fuck off.

“Really?” Beverly asks, just as shocked as the others.

Well, everyone was surprised.

“But he’s so…”

“Hot?” Eddie offers, only to get nudged in the ribs by the trashmouth next to him.

“I was going to say affectionate,” Beverly answers, staring skeptically at Richie. “He’s always hanging all over you, how have you not hooked up?”

(y/n) shrugs her shoulders and stares down at her drink again.

“I dunno” She mumbles weakly.

“Has he tried-?”

“This is super awkward, can we be done?” She asked, voice still soft, embarrassed.

“I mean come on, don’t you want to f-”

“Can we stop fucking talking about this, before I’m forced to visualize his dick?” Richie cuts in, faking a gag. “Oh, fuck, too late, thanks a lot you sluts”

Stan and Beverly are distracted by the comment and burst into laughter while Richie pretends to throw up.

After the conversation ends, and Ben starts talking about the colleges he’s deciding between, (y/n) glances over to her favorite glasses-wearing idiot. He catches her gaze, and she mouths ‘thank you’. He just smiles, before diving right back into conversation about why Ben should be an architect and not a poet.

A few beers later and they have to cut themselves off, because if they drink too much then Bill’s parents will notice and they’ll all get in trouble. They shouldn’t be drinking anymore anyways, because everyone’s relatively tipsy, and with the general excitable mood among the group, drinking more would be a bad idea.

Everyone’s lying on their backs, staring at the ceiling and talking about nonsense. What was once a serious conversation about their future has turned into a debate about what the most important thing to have when stranded on an island would be.

“A knife, definitely a knife” Mike argues.

“What? Fuck no, a gun” Stanley fights back, thus starting an argument about not having bullets because you can only choose one item.

“Flint? I guess? I don’t fuckin’ know” Beverly says sleepily. She didn’t care much for this discussion when it started, and forty five minutes later, she still doesn’t.

“I’d bring an issue of Maxim, for sure. Gotta keep busy you know-”

“Beep beep, Richie,” Eddie grumbles. “I’d bring an epipen. I’m allergic to everything on an island”

“Oh fuck off, you’re not allergic to sand” Richie smacks the boy on his arm for suggesting something so idiotic.

“I’d bring one of my grandpa’s sheep,” Mike spoke after what seemed like forever of deliberation. “It’d save his life and I’d have a companion”

“That’s sweet,” (y/n) cooed, smiling delightedly at the idea of Mike wanting a friend more than anything else. “I’ll take a sheep too, please”

The two break out into laughter for a few minutes, uncontrollable, belly aching laughter.

“You can’t copy Mike, come up with your own!” Eddie scolded, offended that (y/n) tried to break the rules of their made up game.

“Alright, alright, let a girl think first…” (y/n) folded her arms over her head as she squinted, to help her thought process. “Um… a book”

“A book?” Eddie laughed almost maniacally at her answer. “Alright, just fuckin’ take a sheep from Mike, that was even worse”

“What? No it isn’t,” (y/n) argued. “It’ll keep me occupied and entertained, and when it’s done I can read it over again”

“Lame” Eddie muttered.

She reached over to smack him, and sadly Bill got caught in the crossfire.

“You wouldn’t bring your lover?” Stan teased, and she almost hit him too. “You’d pick a farm animal over your boyfriend?”

“I didn’t think of it like that” She said quietly.

“I don’t get you guys,” Stan says, and she sighs because the conversation has somehow drifted to him, again. “I mean, it’s been four and a half months, and typically couples get it on for their one month. But you’ve had four anniversaries and still haven’t-”

“Why are you so interested in my business, Stanley?” (y/n) asked, a bit more defensive than she needed to be.

He raises his hands and pulls an innocent face.

“I’m just worried about you!” He retorts. “You’re the one in desperate need-”

“I’m not desperate for anything” She snaps.

“Yeah, Stan, she’s not a virgin, (y/n’s) gotten some before” Beverly makes an attempt to back (y/n) up, but it only makes her feel worse.

“What? But he’s her first boyfriend- oh my god, who was it?” Stan asks, way more interested in this topic now.

“Leave me alone” She rolls her eyes and shoves his shoulder.

“Oh god, it must be real embarrassing,” Eddie is giddy for the gossip now, sitting up to join in better. “Who was it?”

“Cut it out” She says a bit louder, sharp eyes meeting Eddies, a silent threat in them.

“Who was it, Bev?” Eddie asked, deciding to go the source it came from.

But she shrugs her shoulders, and makes an ‘I don’t know’ sound.

“What do you m-mean you don’t kn-know?” Bill stammers out.

“She didn’t wanna tell me” Beverly answers, simple as that.

(y/n) covers her face with her hands. She wishes she was more drunk than she was, because then maybe there was hope for recovering from this. Or maybe even forgetting completely.

“Must be real embarrassing,” Richie teases.

She peeks at him through her fingers.

“Bowers?” He asks with a raised brow, and she barks out a laugh.

Everyone laughs then, at the mere idea of anyone hooking up with that nutcase.

“I promised I wouldn’t tell, okay?” She admits after the laughter has died and all attention is on her again. “It’s private” She adds softer.

“Fine” Stan gives in, not wanting to make the girl anymore uncomfortable.

If they knew anything about (y/n), it was that she kept secrets and promises locked away forever. She was the most trustworthy person any of them had ever met. And she’d never break someone else’s trust either.

“But if you’ve done it before, why aren’t you, yaknow, still doing it?” Stan asks, and begins to giggle at his own words. “I mean, if I had a hot girlfriend, I’d be doing it like… all the time”

“Pervert” (y/n) mumbles.

“Did you just call (y/n) hot?” Eddie asks, and everyone ooohs at his catch.

“Alright, alright! Calm down, of course I did!” Stan announces, and a blush takes over the girl’s face again. But this time she’s not embarrassed, she’s flattered. “It’s an observation, okay? Jesus”

She giggles, and leans over to kiss his cheek.

“You guys are so dumb,” She mumbles. “I love you all so much”

“All I’m asking,” Stan declares, voice loud. “Is why you’re avoiding it!”

“I’m not avoiding it” She argues, but she knows she’s failed because it’s such a blatant lie, and any sober mind would be able to see that.

Luckily, no one in this room is sober.

“Oh yeah?” Stan scoffs. “Have you been home alone with him in the last four and a half months?”

“Yeah?” She asks, voice cracking slightly.

“And you didn’t screw him?”

“Watch it” Richie’s voice bites from where he lies a few feet away from them. Stan pays it no mind, but Bev kicks his leg, and furrows her brow at him, wondering why he gave a fuck what Stan had to say.

The others were either asleep, or didn’t want to step in on the mini argument (y/n) and Stan were having.

Ben and Mike had passed out on the floor a few minutes ago. And Eddie and Bill just sat and listened to the argument, wishing they could pass out.

“No, I- I didn’t,” (y/n) stammers. “But so? I don’t want to rush it-”

“Liaaaar,” Stan singsongs. “You don’t want to hook up with him”

“That’s not true!” She exclaims. “We-. we’re actually hanging out at his place tuesday night,” She tells him matter of factly. “Alone!”

“Ooh, good for you,” Stan retorts sarcastically. “That doesn’t mean shit unless you actually take your pants off”

Her face scrunches up as her eyes narrow at him. Now she’s angry, because he doesn’t believe her, and he’s not trying to. So what if she’s lying through her teeth? He’s her friend and he should believe her.

“I’m tired” She announces suddenly, and forces herself to stand up.

She steals one of the few blankets on Bill’s bed that he’d prepared for everyone. Her balance is a bit shaky as she wraps it around herself, and heads for the door.

“Goodnight” She calls, only once she’s left the room and is heading for the pullout bed in the living room sofa.

The room is silent for a few minutes after she’s left.

“Well fuck, you’re gonna have to apologize in the morning” Eddie mumbles, and San knows he’s talking to him.

“I didn’t think she’d get that pissed,” He replied guiltily. “I was just messin’, I thought she’d just get embarrassed. I don’t know what I did-”

“She doesn’t like talking about that stuff, dumbass,” Richie says. “Shit makes her uncomfortable”

“Well I didn’t know that-” Stan starts to argue.

Beverly stops him before he can start any more drama tonight.

“Don’t worry about it, Stan, she’ll be alright,” She says, and then gets up to get a blanket as well. “I’ll go talk to her to make sure she really is alright, goodnight”

The boys mumble a ‘goodnight’ back to her, and she descends the staircase to check on her friend, who’s laying facedown on the mattress.

“Oh, hon,” Bev laughs, and lays down next to her. “Don’t be so upset with Stan, he was just being dumb-”

“I know” (y/n) mumbles into her pillow.

Beverly pulls the blanket she’s brought with her and drapes it over her back, so she won’t get cold while she’s pouting.

“Then what’s troubling you?”

Her words are a bit slurred, but the care is still there.

“I just… I don’t know. I didn’t have to think about it before and now I can’t stop,” (y/n) admits with a sign. “And maybe I’m upset because… he’s right. Maybe I’m upset because he’s write and I wouldn’t admit it to myself, but I have been avoiding hooking up with him. I mean, so much could go wrong and I just… don’t want to have a bunch of drama our senior year, yaknow? I want it to be smooth and easy. And so far with him our relationship has been smooth and easy, but what if he’s wanted to do it this whole time and I keep dodging him and now he’s gonna break up with me?”

(y/n) lifts her head to turn to her redheaded friend for advice.

But Beverly is sound asleep, snoring softly against her pillow.

(y/n) can’t help but smile a bit, even though she really needed help sorting out her messy thoughts. But she wasn’t going to bother Beverly by waking her up.

So she carefully crept off the squeaky pullout mattress, and went back upstairs.

Ben and Mike are still asleep on the floor, but someone’s thrown a couple blankets over them.

Stan is on Bill’s bed, facing the opposite direction as Bill, and they’ve both knocked off as well.

Maybe everyone else had more to drink than her, she thinks as she shuts the door to leave them be. When she turns to head to the guest bedroom, she nearly runs into Eddie.

“Who are you looking for?” He asks right away.

He rubs his tired eyes, and she adores that he looks like a child when he does so.

“Um-”

“Richie’s in bed already,” Eddie says before she can answer. “If you’re gonna prank him, you might want to wait a few minutes, so you know he’s in a deep enough sleep”

(y/n) chuckles at the unprompted advice, and nods her head.

“Alright... thanks” She says.

Eddie doesn’t say anything else as he pushes past her to go to sleep in Bill’s room.

“You aren’t gonna sleep in the guest room?” She asks with furrowed brows.

“Fuck no, Richie kicks and talks in his sleep. I’d rather stay on the floor with those two” Eddie answers, and then gives her a small wave before shutting the bedroom door.

She takes a deep breath as she stands in front of the guest room’s door. And then before she could stop herself, she opens the door, and shuts it quickly behind her as she steps inside.

Richie's laying in bed, arms wrapped around the pillow that his face is pressed into. He mumbles a slurred ‘who is it?’ into the feathery cushion. But he knows it’s her before she even answers. Because as she sits on the side of the bed next to him, he can smell her perfume.

He squints up at her, having lost his glasses somewhere in Bill’s room, and wonders what she’s doing here.

“Surprise” She says weakly, and a slight smirk tugs on his lips.

“What’s goin’ on?” He asks, leaning his face back down into the comfort of the cool pillow. He was already getting a headache from the four beers he had. (He’d drank two of the three Eddie had gotten)

“Can we talk?” She asks in a voice so soft that she can only be referencing one thing.

Richie nods, and pats the space next to him with his palm.

She hesitates for just a moment, before giving in and laying down in the spot, grabbing a hold of the other pillow she mirrors Richie’s actions and hugs it under her head.

He doesn’t say anything, just lays there with his eyes closed in the dark and waits for her to go first.

“Was I….” She starts, but then bites her lip and shakes her head as she changes her mind. “When we…”

“...hooked up?” He offers.

It’s so casual, so quiet, that her heart skips a beat, because she can’t believe he can just say it like that. Speak their darkest, most carefully kept secret, out into the open like that.

“Yeah…” She mumbled back. “Was I… I don’t know… good?”

He opens his eyes now, and his brows furrow as he sees her anxious expression.

They hadn’t talked about it since it had happened, which was their deal, but after her argument with Stan he figured she was going to sneak in here and talk to him. He’s not sure why she looks so scared, though.

“Were you good?” He repeats her question, like he doesn’t understand it.

She nods her head.

“(y/n), of course you were good, you were you,” He chuckles, a genuine smile on his lips. The compliment, if you could call it that, made her blush. “He’ll be lucky to have you in his bed, alright?”

“Be honest with me,” She said. “Don’t just say stuff to make me feel better”

“I’m not” Richie grumbles, laying back down again.

His head his swirling a bit, and with her laying so close to him, it wasn’t helping.

“Why haven’t you done it yet, anyways?” He asks her after it’s been silent for too long.

“I…” She tries and fails to answer the question. But she’s her most honest self when she’s with Richie, and feels he deserves an explanation for her behavior tonight. “... was scared” She finishes after a few minutes.

“You’re scared of sex?” He mumbles, and she shakes her head.

“No… just… with him”

“That makes no sense, (y/n/n)”

“I know” She whispers out, and her fingers draw patterns on the sheets.

“You think he’s gonna… hurt you?” Richie asks, because as soon as the thought crosses his mind, he has to ask.

“No, of course not,” She replies, and lifts up his blanket so she can shimmy under it and warm up a bit. “Sometimes I feel like I just don’t know him” Her voice drops to a whisper again.

Her eyes are focused on his tee shirt, trying to figure out what band is advertised on it while Richie thinks. He’s not sure what to tell her, because of course he doesn’t want to promote her hooking up with him. But… the guy’s her boyfriend, so what’s he supposed to do?

“(y/n)....” He sighs, and subconsciously wraps an arm around her. His hand tangles in her hair, massaging her scalp comfortingly. “That’s not true, you’ve been together for a while now”

The logic is there, but she’s unconvinced.

“And besides,” He continues, and she looks up at him, meeting his kind eyes. “When you’re ready, you’ll know,” He says, and he grins before poking her cheek and nose. “But you already know that”

She giggles softly, swatting away his hand.

“I hate when you’re right, you know,” She says through a yawn.

Without thinking, she leaned her head into his chest.

“What if I don’t want to do it, though?” She asks. “What if… what if I don’t like it?”

“You hurt my feelings when you talk like you’ve never done it before”

“No more jokes,” She whispers. “I mean it”

“Then you tell him, and you stop,” Richie answers without missing a beat. “That’s how it works… you know that, right?”

“S-sure,” She stammers out. “But what if-”

“No, there’s no ‘what ifs’ about that one, (y/n/n),” He tells her seriously. “I’m not fucking around, if you want to stop then you-”

“Don’t worry, Rich,” She hums. “You don’t have to give me the consent talk, that’s not what I mean”

His brows furrow down at her, but she doesn’t see because her eyes are closed and her face is hidden in his shirt. For a second he’s distracted and wonders if he should be holding her like this when she has a boyfriend.

“What… do you mean, then?”

“What if I’m not… um…” She trails off, clearly embarrassed.

“Come on, don’t hold out on me now” Richie chuckles teasingly.

“... attracted to him… sexually?” She speaks like she’s unsure of her words, and it takes everything in Richie not to laugh out loud.

“That’s not something I can fix, hon” He tells her, and she can tell he’s holding back a laugh.

She’s silent, and Richie hopes she hasn’t fallen asleep, because knows it wouldn’t be right to share a bed for the night.

“I mean you’ve… done other stuff, right?” He asks, and even that seems wrong. He really shouldn’t even be talking to her about this, but it’s not his fault that he’s the only person she can talk to about this stuff.

(It’s maybe his fault that they slept together in the first place, but surely (y/n) can take some responsibility for that one)

“Not really” She says in a barely audible mumble.

“Not really?” He repeats, confused by the question. “All you’ve done is-”

“We’ve made out a couple times,” She tells him before she overthinks it and starts to feel uncomfortable. “That’s it”

“Clothes have never come off?” He asks with a chuckle he can’t contain.

(y/n) shakes her head.

“What the fuck is wrong with-”

“Richie…”

“-him?” He finished anyways, taking her by surprise that he wasn’t trying to bash on her. “Look, (y/n/n), it’s your relationship, you do what you want to do. But do you even see a future with him?”

She’s silent again.

And then she shuffles off the mattress, and heads for the door.

“(y/n),” Richie called with a sigh. “It’s just a question”

She held the open door in her hand, and looked back at him. He had a guilty but confused look on his face, and was propped up in ed, hoping she’d come back and finish talking.

“I’m tired, Richie,” She said softly. “Goodnight”

He let out a sigh, regretting having been so forward and pushing her out of her comfort zone. He hadn’t realized it when he’d asked, but he sure as hell could tell now.

“Goodnight” He said before she could shut the door behind her.

(y/n) was glad that Beverly was fast asleep on the pullout bed still, because all she did for the rest of the night is fuss to get comfortable, only to lay wide awake, overthinking.

Trying to figure out a future with her boyfriend in it. ___

[ oh feel our bodies grow, and our souls they play // yeah love i hope you know how much my heart depends ]

It was loud, it was so loud that the bass in the music playing was ringing in her ears, and making the liquid in her cup ripple. But that might have just been because she was stumbling around so much, trying to find somewhere to chill out for a minute in this sea of bodies.

Richie Tozier’s hand was holding on tightly to hers, pulling her behind him, acting as a guide through the chaos. But who was she kidding, he was the chaos. It was his house party after all.

How he’d even invited this many people, (y/n) wasn’t sure. It’s not like he knew everyone here, but word of mouth works fast in Derry, and a byob party that had half a dozen kegs and then some, not one student from their school missed it.

Even Stan was here… somewhere.

It was a bit hopeless to go looking for people in this crowd.

Finally Richie had taken them outside. There were still a couple dozen people hanging out in his backyard, but at least she could hear herself think, or take a step without bumping into someone.

“Thank god,” She huffed, pushing her hair out of her face and taking a drink. “I thought I was gonna get trampled to death in there”

Richie chuckles, eyes shining as he watched her finally relax a bit.

“You would’ve made this party worth talking about if you had” He teases her.

“I think it already is,” She replies with a small and nervous laugh. “The whole school’s here, Rich, I think people will be talking about it for a- who brought a kiddie pool?”

She cuts herself off as her eye catch a plastic pool, filled with eyes and the most beer she’s ever seen all at once. They definitely hadn’t brought it, although she’s surprised that none of them had thought of it when planning for this party.

“Don’t know” Richie shrugs, and then wanders over to grab them two bottles.

They’d been drinking soda all night, not wanting to get shit faced so they could keep an eye on things. But they were well past that, and at this point, whatever happens, happens.

She taps her glass against his in a quiet ‘clink’

“Cheers to you, Tozier” She says with a rather sweet smile, the kind that he compulsively smiles back at.

“And you” He replies, before tipping the bottle back and taking a long swig.

The thing about (y/n) was that… well, there was just this thing. An undeniable, unspoken, electric thing. There was something about her that drew Richie towards her like a magnet. Even tonight, he’d shown up at her side, and just like that they’d spent the last two hours together. She was such a lovely person, which was a rarity in this town.

He had a feeling that she owned his heart, even though he just had a silly teenage crush on her. But what had started as a silly crush, an admiration for her beauty, grew into an adoration of her entire being, her soul. He was falling for her, at a speed from the atmosphere, and he was bound to crash soon.

Her hand reaches out and seizes the sleeve of his denim jacket, yanking him towards her all in one motion. His heart’s beating out of his chest with anticipation, but as quickly as she’d grabbed him, she was shaking him out of his daze.

“You almost got knocked over,” She tells him, nodding to the pair of drunken boys with their arms slung around one another, stumbling around the backyard, trying to walk in sync. “You alright?”

“Yeah, sorry, out of it” He answered with choppy words.

He finds the crease between her brows adorable.

“You only took one sip,” She jokes, poking at his bottle. “Quick, how many fingers am I holding up?” She asks, holding four fingers in front of his face while giggling.

Richie rolls his eyes, grabbing her hand to pull it out of his face.

But he doesn’t let go.

And for the next hour, as they talk and drink a little and dance, her hand remains in his. She didn’t say anything about it, which he’s silently thankful for. Maybe she feels safer when attached to him, knowing she’s not going to get sucked into the crowd and lost. Or maybe she just… wants to.

They’re dancing in the living room, to a song neither of them knew, with a hundred strangers, when she finally mentions it.

“You’re blushing!” She announces, albeit a bit tipsy.

There’s a grin on her face, and with her free hand she pokes at the pink on his cheeks.

“Cut that out- what’s with you and jabbing your fingers at me today?” He says, trying to brush it off and get her to forget about it. It doesn’t work.

She bursts into a fit of laughter, and her body leans towards his a bit as she does.

She only lets go of his hand to wrap her arms around his neck and spin them around excitedly.

“You never blush,” She says. “So what’s on your mind?”

She sounds bubbly, as if his answer is amusing to her, and she’s impatient to hear it. Richie shakes his head, and wills the heat in his face to go away, but it doesn’t. Of course it doesn’t, she’s standing a few inches away from him and staring at him with those round and curious eyes that he loves and-

“You” He responds with a shrug.

His voice is cool and casual as ever, but he’s losing his shit on the inside.

Her lips form an ‘o’ as she processes the single word. For a second he regretted speaking, which was kinda normal for him, but then her eyes lit up and she giggles with delightful bashfulness.

A breath of a laugh escapes his lips as he laughs nervously with her.

“You’re adorably funny” She says, and takes him by surprise when she leans up on her toes, cups her face in one hand, and presses a kiss to his other cheek.

When she lands back flat on her feet, she’s amused by the grin that she’d put on his face.

“Drinks?” She asks, and when he pulls a face, she clarifies, “Non-alcoholic drinks”

“Fine” He agrees, and when they head out of the living room, her hand reaches out and grabs his, slotting her fingers through his with ease.

He glances down to her when she does so, but she just gives him a big and innocent smile.

They find their friends in the kitchen. Beverly and Eddie are quite… shit faced, while Bill is drinking water and trying to get them to have some as well. From what Richie and (y/n) could tell, his efforts were useless.

“Let them be,” (y/n) says, ruffling up Eddie’s hair with her free hand, only to get swatted away. “They’ll pay the consequences in the morning”

Bill shrugs and hums in agreement, but he tries to get them to drink something.

“What’s goin’ on here?” Bev asks, pointing at Richie and (y/n’s) conjoined hands.

Richie starts to let go, but she squeezes his hand and smiles almost proudly at her drunk friend.

“Well I don’t wanna get lost” She says confidently.

Beverly shrugs, not having the attention span to ask further questions, or really care.

“Is that- are you- is that rootbeer?” Eddie asks, and he squints at the can in (y/n’s) hand, like he can’t see. “You’re at a- a fuckin’ party and you’re drinkin’ a soda?”

“Leave her alone Eddie Spaghetti” Richie chides, smacking the shorter boy on the shoulder.

“Yeah, Eddie Spaghetti” (y/n) adds in a mocking tone, and giggles to herself at the nickname.

Eddie hates it, but he’s drunk off his ass, so there’s not much he can do about it. He’ll try to throw hands with Richie tomorrow.

Bev starts to tell a story about a fight she saw on the front lawn. It’s missing parts, and she’s having a hard time remembering most of it, but they listen because it’s funny and interesting.

(y/n) sat herself on the kitchen counter, drink in one hand and Richie’s hand in the other, laughing along and encouraging her to continue. Even when she finishes her story, she’s not sure what happened, or who was even fighting, but it doesn’t matter.

“It’s l-late,” Bill says, eyeing the stove that reads 2:15. “I think I should go”

“You’re not staying the night?” (y/n) asked.

Richie’s parents would be gone for another day, leaving plenty of time for the Losers Club to hang out, and clean up the trashed house everyone else left behind.

“No, I sh-shouldn’t,” He says. “B-but I’ll come b-back tomorrow to help with th-the mess” He adds in a reassuring tone.

“Alright Billy,” (y/n) reaches her arms out towards him, prompting him to hug her goodbye. She embraces him tightly for a short moment. “See ya tomorrow”

He gives a small wave, and then offers a ride to Eddie and Bev. They both decide to keep drinking and crash at the house. He’s not surprised.

“I feel like dancing!” Beverly declares, and is out of the kitchen before anyone could say a word.

“Man is she fuckin’ wasted” Eddie chuckles.

Richie and (y/n) burst out laughing at the irony, but don’t tell him why it’s funny when he asks why they’re laughing their asses off.

Eddie winds up sitting on the kitchen floor, and then laying on it, cradling an empty bottle of vodka to his chest.

“You gonna sleep down there with him?” Richie asks (y/n), and gives the asmathic on the floor a gentle kick.

(y/n) giggles and shakes her head, and without thinking, reaches out to grab onto his hands again. With a small tug, he steps closer, almost standing between her open legs. But he doesn’t dare move that close.

“No…” She answers after a minute. “There’s no way in hell you’re making me sleep on a floor”

“Well, if the beds are all taken-”

“Richard Tozier” She says his name firmly, “If you don’t give me a bed to sleep in like a human fucking being I swear I will-”

“You’ll what, sweetheart?”

His voice drops an octave, and his head cocks to the side a bit as he stares at her skeptically, wondering what it was she was about to say next. When her mouth is left hanging open, he smirks a little.

“Come on (y/n/n), you’re not the threatening type,” He speaks at a normal volume again, but his closeness and the look on his face doesn’t fade. “Besides, you got nothing on me”

“Oh, I doubt that-” She tries to argue, but he cuts her off again.

“Just try to think of something, you can’t. My record’s squeaky clean”

He leans a bit closer with every word, but the movement is miniscule, and she’s probably the only person in the room who could have noticed it.

As soon as he eyes wander to his lips, they dart right back up, but it’s too late, he caught the glance, and his smirk widens.

Richie quirks a brow in question, like an asshole.

She sets her soda can on the counter next to her.

“You really value me so little that you’ll make me sleep, where, on the floor? The bathtub?”

“I think the tub is still occupied, actually,” Richie says. “And the floor, well, it’s covered in trash and…” He looks down to Eddie, who’s very close to passing out. “... more trash”

(y/n) hits his chest with the back of her hand.

“That was for Eddie” She says, and Richie laughs.

She’s got an offended look on her face, and fuck if it wasn’t the cutest thing he’s ever seen…

“I’m just saying sweetheart…” He shrugs his shoulders innocently. “Your sleeping options aren’t looking great. Pretty much everywhere is taken”

She’s quiet for a moment, and he can tell she’s hesitant, because she bites down on her lip, and she has a hard time keeping eye contact. He doesn’t rush her to say whatever’s on her mind, just stands there, unmoving, and waits.

“Show me a bed, then, Tozier”

It’s soft, whispered like a secret, and unsure.

They’re both still for a beat, each waiting for the other to back out.

But neither do.

So he offers her his hand, which she gladly takes before hopping off the counter and following closely behind him. Through the thinning crowd in the living room, and then up the stairs.

When they’re in the hall, he casts a look over his shoulder to her, and her eyes meet his instantly.

There’s something serious in them that he’s never seen in her before. Like she was trying to tell him something, but he couldn’t put his finger on what it is.

Her free hand grabs onto the sleeve of his jacket, tethering herself to him. There was nowhere to get lost up here, everyone was downstairs. Except for the boy passed out in the bathtub, and Richie was fairly certain a couple passed out in his parent’s bedroom. But right now, they were alone.

He brings her to his room, carefully peeking in to make sure no one was in there, before letting her inside. He’s quick to shut and lock the door.

(y/n) gives him a look at the sound of the lock clicking, and his face flushes.

“I mean- it’d be weird if some frisky couple were to come in- while we’re in here” He defends his actions.

She just hums, and wanders over to his dresser, where his fish tank sat. She smiled at his goldfish before swirling the tip of her finger in the water.

Richie just admires her while she glances over his things. The picture frames, the trinkets and forgotten things he’s left there. She looks so natural standing there.

It wasn’t often that she was in his room, Richie’s house isn’t somewhere that everyone hangs out at, and (y/n) and Richie rarely hang out alone. It was kind of nice to have so much time with her tonight, just her. And still, he wanted it all the time.

She can feel his eyes on her, and when she turns around, she isn’t surprised that she was right.

She gives him a small smile, and clasps her hands together behind her back. It was a nervous habit she had, squeezing her hands together tightly, and Richie loved seeing her do it now.

“It’s been a while since I’ve been in here,” She says, desperately trying to fill the silence. “Hasn’t changed much though” She added in a quieter voice.

He doesn’t say anything, and it only amps up her nerves.

And then he strides over to her, rather quickly, and her breath caught in her throat as he’s suddenly towering over her, face a mere few inches away from hers.

She’s frozen, staring at him wide eyed and waiting for him to do something.

She’d thought he was going to kiss her, and when he didn’t, hear heart only beat harder in her chest.

“What?” She asks, wondering what he was doing if he wasn’t going to make a move.

“Nothing” He shakes his head, and her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“What are you doing then?” She questions him again, voice a hundred times softer.

He gives her a playful smirk, and she almost frowns at him, annoyed by the teasing.

“I’m not doing anything” He hums with a shrug.

She rolls her eyes, done with the games, and steps away. She needs a breath. Or two. Two very deep breaths.

But before she can, Richie’s hand shoots out and grabs her wrist, pulling her back so rough that she collides into his chest, making them both stagger for a brief moment, until his lips crash down into hers.

She’s just gotten her balance back when he pulls away, staring at her expectantly, waiting for her to tell him to stop.

Her lips are parted and she’s panting softly, still in shock, and her eyes flutter open to meet his.

She doesn’t tell him to stop, instead, she leans up on the tips of her toes to kiss him again, a much longer kiss that she wished he’d begun with.

They pulled away at the same time.

“We can’t tell the others!” They both rush out the words so fast, so panicked, but it disappears as they register the other agrees.

And then all at once they’re kissing again. His hands are gripping her hips, keeping her pressed completely against him, while hers are tangled in his hair, combing and gripping at his strands of curls.

Their lips move so feverishly, both desperate for every second to be fulfilling. They knew this was a once in a lifetime chance, that this was their only chance, and it had to be perfect.

They part for a few seconds, so (y/n) can catch her breath.

His nose prods against hers, before he takes her cin between his thumb and forefinger, turning her head to the side so that he can trail a line of kisses along her jaw, tracing up to the sweet spot just below her ear.

He bit the soft skin, because he couldn’t help himself. She gasped softly, and then giggled at the delightful and ticklish feeling of his mouth against the spot. Her hands tighten a bit in his hair.

Eventually, once he’s left a decent purple mark on her neck, she tugs on his hair, pulling his lips back to hers needily. She’s delicate as she glides over the seam of his lips with her tongue. Richie isn’t so sweet as he gladly tangles his own tongue with hers.

When she’s the one to win the battle for dominance, she smirks against his lips. But Richie’s quick to retaliate, turning her suddenly, and pushing her backwards until she runs into the wall.

Her lips detach from his as she grunts at the surprise contact, and her eyes shoot up to his out of annoyance.

“Jesus, fucking watch it” She mutters.

She grabs the collar of his jacket and yanks his lips back down to hers anyways, already craving more contact.

Kissing Richie Tozier is exactly as she expected, or more accurately dreamed, it would be. Bliss. Passionate. Hot.

She hastily shoves his jacket down his shoulders, and then practically clawed the sleeves off of his arms. As soon as it was discarded, his hands slammed into the wall on either side of her head, caging her in. She loves it.

She wonders if he’s really gotten her addicted to his lips in a matter of two minutes.

After a few more kisses, she confirms that he has.

Her arms wrap around his neck and she can’t hold back a smile.

They part for a moment, and then rush to his bed.

(y/n’s) giggling as Richie crawls over her, one hand caressing her cheek while the other is pinned to the bed as not to crush her. His thumb brushed over her cheekbone sweetly.

“You’re sure?” He asks, suddenly worried that he was rushing her.

But she nods, excitedly, and pulls his face down so she can kiss him again.

“But like-” Richie pulls away. “You’re sure you’re sure? Like absolutely positive?”

“Richie,” She laughs, shaking her head a bit. “Yes”

And that’s how it happened. ___

[ but i guess that’s love, i can’t pretend… i can’t pretend... ]

(y/n) had known Richie pretty much her whole life. And they’d always gotten along, despite his big mouth and his tendency to say the wrong thing at the wrong time. She found it endearing that he would call her hot stuff and then his face would go bright red, knowing he’d made a mistake.

But the thing was, that changed the day after they’d hooked up. They were still friends, they still hung out, and it wasn’t necessarily awkward, but it was different. He didn’t call her cute names anymore, not even sweetheart. He stuck solely to his nickname for her.

She wasn’t sure if it was because of their incident, or because she was seeing someone. It often felt like she was walking on eggshells around him, unsure of what to say or do. It was like as soon as they’d crossed the line between friends and more than friends, she wasn’t sure how to go back to being just friends.

And she hadn’t ever thought of Richie as boyfriend material. Even when they’d hooked up, she hadn’t considered the idea of being with him romantically. Sure, he was attractive and funny and… charismatic, exciting, and somehow tender at the same time-”

“Babe..? Babe?”

(y/n) snapped back to reality, spinning around to see her boyfriend standing behind her. He gave a short laugh before nodding to the dish in her hand that she must have been scrubbing for a few minutes now.

“Daydreaming?” He asks, while she bashfully set the very clean plate on the counter.

“Something like that” She replied, and went on to cleaning the next dish.

They’d had a nice dinner, one they both prepared. She thought it would be fun to cook with him, maybe they would even listen to music and dance around the tiled floor. But her boyfriend wasn’t that kind of guy, and this wasn’t a romantic comedy.

Richie would dance in the kitchen with me-

“So!” (y/n) spoke, a little too loud as she tried to rid her own thoughts from her head. “Movie?”

Her boyfriend grinned, and gave her a thumbs up before leaving the kitchen and heading to the living room to pick out a good movie for them to watch.

(y/n) went back to distracting herself with doing the dishes. But her pesky thoughts kept on getting in the way of her task.

Thinking of Richie in a romantic light made her feel dazed. He was Richie. Trashmouth Tozier, the boy she grew up with that was infamous for trying to ride his bike off the cliffside at the quarry. He wasn’t someone you had a crush on, he was someone you always had a dumb story about.

But besides that, it simply wasn’t fair of her to think of him this way. They had both agreed that what they had was a one time thing, and it didn’t mean anything to either of them. They were just friends, and that was all either of them wanted to be.

At least, that’s what she’d always told herself.

But when she thought back on last summer, all she could remember was how badly she wanted him to kiss her that whole night. And when he finally had… it felt like she was flying.

Drying the last dish, she left it on the counter, and forced herself to relax on the couch with her boyfriend.

Whatever movie he’d picked, she’d never heard of, and it only took seven minutes of watching it for her to realize why. It was boring.

She was so damn near close to passing out, even though he seemed excited to share it with her.

“Hey,” She hummed after half an hour of forcing herself to stay awake. He hummed in response, but didn’t look away from the television.

So she took matters into her own hands, and turned his head so she could kiss him.

She poured all of the passion that she could into the kiss, hoping to convey that she wanted him, and she wanted him now.

But how could she do such a thing when it wasn’t true? She simply wasn’t convincing enough. Not to him, or herself.

Defeated, she pulled away from him, and by the look on his face, she knew that he sensed her disappointment. Which was ironic, because he had never been in sync with her emotions in the last four and a half months they’d been together.

“What’s wrong?” He asked.

There was a deep frown on her face, and her eyes were so apologetic that he just knew what was coming next.

“I’m sorry” She mumbled out.

“(y/n)...?” He was hoping that by some miracle she wasn’t about to break up with him.

“I can’t do this anymore” She finished weakly, voice cracking a bit as her throat burned with tears.

“What do you mean?” He asked. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

She didn’t say anything, just shut her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to keep herself from crying. It would be pathetic if she broke up with him and she was the one to cry about it.

“Whatever it is I can work on it, we can fix it-”

“No, you can’t-”

“Yes I can-”

“You can’t fix this!” She shouted, not meaning to come off as angry, but her emotions had flustered her and it was making her frustrated. “Because there’s nothing to fix, there’s nothing here” She clarified, her hands flying between them.

“What do you mean there’s nothing here?” He asked, sounding broken. For a moment, she felt bad for saying something so cruel. “Is there someone else?”

And then her guilt disappeared.

“What? Of course not-”

“Well there- there has to be!”

“Well there isn’t!” She shouted back. “Jesus Christ, don’t make this more difficult than it has to be,” She rolled her eyes. “I don’t feel anything, anything, for you! I thought with time that I could learn to love you, but I haven’t. There’s no spark-”

He seized forward, taking her face in his hands and kissing her frantically.

But just as soon as his mouth crushed over hers, she shoved his shoulders with all the force she could muster, and leapt off of the sofa.

She was stunned to silence at first, surprised that he’d done something so dramatic and… disgusting.

“I’m done,” She said, heading for the door, and putting on her shoes and coat with lightning speed. “Don’t fucking call me- don’t talk to me at school, I’m done”

He tried to call after her, but she slammed the door behind her as she stormed out, and ran down the sidewalk, just in case he had the idiotic idea to chase after her.

She slowed at the end of the block, mentally striking herself upside the head at the thought. Of course he wouldn't chase after her. It would be an act of passion for him to pursue her, and he would be in denial to think he was any more in love with her than she was with him.

It dawned on her that she’d been in denial for the past four months for thinking she could learn to love him. You can’t learn to love anybody, it has to come naturally. And there wasn’t one natural thing about their relationship.

She wrapped her arms around herself to keep warm in the chilly december air, and walked the rest of the way home. She’d had enough of today, and just wanted to crawl into bed, and try not to cry. ___

When the doorbell rang, Richie ignored it. Surely his parents would get it, and he could stay in bed.

When it rang again, he shoved his pillow over his head.

It wasn’t until the third time the sound rang that he remembered his parents were at an event in Augusta tonight.

So with a groan, and the realization that whoever it was, wasn’t going to go away, he dragged himself out of bed, and down the stairs.

It was almost midnight, who the fuck was a the door? He decided if it was some freshman ding-dong ditching him, that he’d run them down and ruin their shit.

When he whipped open the door, he also opened his can of whoop ass on the unsuspecting freshman.

“Do you realize that it’s the middle of the fucking ni-”

He shut up real fast when he realized it was (y/n) standing there, who now looked incredibly taken off guard to have been greeted so harshly.

“(y/n)?”

It was only then that he realized she was crying softly.

“Oh- oh my god, I’m sorry- I thought you were-”

“It’s fine” She said, and then sniffled quietly.

“What- what are you-”

“I’m sorry, it’s not r-right of me to show up in the middle of the night,” She whimpered a little bit, and wiped her sleeve over her cheeks to get rid of her tears. “I should go home-”

“No,” Richie reached out, taking her wrist and tugging her inside. “Come in, stay” He rushed the words out while shutting the door, not wanting her to leave, and especially not like this.

She wrapped her arms around herself, trying to stop her own shivering. She didn’t even want to look at Richie while crying, but at the same time-

“So what’s going on-?”

Before he could even finish talking, she threw her arms around him and buried her face in his shoulder.

Richie stumbled a bit from the sudden force of her hug, but wrapped his arms around her nonetheless and hugged her tightly.

It was obvious that she was trying to stop crying in front of him, but she just couldn’t help it.

“Did something happen?” He asked, but received no answer. “Are you hurt?”

He could feel her tears seeping into the fabric of his tee shirt.

“Hey, sweetheart,” He called softly, and pulled her away to look at her. She kept her eyes shut, which made him chuckle, but eventually she looked up at him. “Come on, (y/n/n),” He hummed. “Talk to me”

She took in a deep breath, and Richie mentally prepared himself for whatever was going to come next. It must be serious if she came to him instead of Beverly, or Eddie.

“I couldn’t have sex with him” She murmured.

Richie’s eyebrows shot up in surprise, and confusion, and a feeling he wasn’t quite sure of. He never would have guessed that’s what had her so distraught.

“Um…”

“I know,” (y/n) cried out, tears streaming down her cheeks again. “It’s pathetic, I’m so pathetic!”

“(y/n),” Richie said, setting his hands on her shoulders so she would calm down. “You’re not- where is this coming from? Why are you so upset about this?”

It took her a minute to catch her breath, and her tears hadn’t really stopped flooding, but at least she could speak again.

“I broke up with him” She admitted.

Richie’s eyes widened, and again, she’d done what he’d least expected. Her eyes were darting between his, trying to figure out what he was thinking. But he looked so shocked, she couldn’t tell.

“Do you think I made a mistake?” She asked in a murur, her hands resting against his chest, and her body gravitating towards his a bit more from the sensitive question.

“I…”

He was having a hard time maintaining eye contact with her, his brain moving far too fast and his train of thought going in too many different directions for him to comprehend what he even thought.

“You do, don’t you?” (y/n) asked defeatedly. “I should’ve tried harder- maybe I could have loved him-?”

“What? (y/n), no, don’t think like that,” He scolded her gently. “If you didn’t feel anything, then that’s it, that’s the end, it didn’t work”

She stares down at her feet.

“(y/n)...” Richie sighed, lifting her chin softly with his hand. “Did you even like him?”

She shrugged her shoulders, which was answer enough.

“Oh, (y/n),” His thumb stroked gently against her jaw, before he wrapped his arms around her and hugged her again. “If you didn’t like him there was never even a chance of you falling in love- that’s just not how it works sweetheart”

(y/n) grabbed the back of his shirt in her fists, just wanting to hold onto him for a few moments longer.

“How’s it work?” She mumbled into his shoulder after embracing for a few moments.

“Well first of all, you don’t learn to do it, it just happens,” He chuckles, and his hands begin to rhythmically rub her back. “And you won’t find them boring. That guy was a sack of fucking potatoes (y/n/n) I don’t know what you were doing with him-”

“Yeah yeah I get it,” She cut him off before he could go on. “What else?” Her voice was so soft, so full of curiosity for where these kind words were coming from, that she just had to know what more Richie thought about the subject.

“Well…” He hummed, still rubbing her back as he thought. “You typically enjoy their company, more than anyone else’s, even if you won’t admit it,” He was thinking out loud. “And they’ll always be the prettiest thing in your eyes- even when they won’t stop crying all over you” He teased.

She glared up at him, and wiped her tears with the back of her hand.

“Come on, be real,” She said. “He was nice, and cute, and he really liked me, why wasn’t there a spark?”

He shook his head at her.

“Like I said. Can’t learn to love someone, and you can’t force what isn’t there,” He shrugged. “I’m sorry though. You’re clearly bothered by it”

She wanted to explain that she wasn’t bothered by the breakup at all. She was bothered by the mixup in her feelings. By what she thought to be true- but wasn’t quite sure yet.

“You want tea? Or something?” He offered after she hadn’t spoken for a few beats.

“No,” She shook her head, and then stepped back from him. “A blanket would be nice though? I had to walk the whole way here and it’s freezing”

Richie chuckled, and nodded.

“‘I’ll get one from upstairs. Be right back”

He headed off rather quickly, taking the steps two at a time to get a blanket from his room.

The one time she’d stayed overnight, she’d really liked one of his- and he’d know, because she hogged it, and he had to wake her up to get her to share. So he figured that one would do fine.

At the sound of a soft knocking at his door frame, he turned to see (y/n) standing there.

Her eyes were wandering around his room, mapping it out like it was her first time here. However, she hadn’t been here since…

He didn’t miss the blush on her cheeks when her gaze landed on his bed, the covers messed up from his attempts to sleep earlier. And then finally, she looked at him.

“Oh,” She smiled, and walked into the room, taking the blanket from his hands. “You remembered” She said with a small laugh as she wrapped it tightly around herself.

It was still a little bit warmed, and smelled so distinctly like Richie, it made her want to melt into it. And she nearly did for a moment.

“Well how could I you almost made me freeze to death that night” He muttered teasingly.

“Fuck off, I did not” She played back, but her voice was much gentler than his.

He gave her a look as if to say ‘you did though’, which she only rolled her eyes to.

Deciding it’d be best to ignore him, she walked over to his dresser to excitedly play with his fish. It didn’t do much, but it did swim back and forth in front of her finger, which was amusing enough.

“You… want to watch a movie?” Richie asked.

He didn’t want her to leave, but he didn’t know how to offer her to stay the night either.

“Sure” She answered, and followed him downstairs.

Richie made her pick the movie, that way whatever they watched she wouldn’t lose interest in.

“What?” She’s asked when he tried to leave the room for popcorn.

“I said pick whatever you want so you actually watch it and enjoy it” Richie repeated himself, and was in the kitchen before he could see her face change expressions.

Her heart skipped a beat in her chest, and all she could do was stare at where he stood with his back to her. She didn’t even bother looking at his DVD collection, and followed him into the kitchen.

“You want me to pick a movie I like?” She asked him.

Richie gave her a weird look over his shoulder as she set the timer on the microwave.

“What? Yeah” He answered.

“But you’ll hate it,” She said matter-of-factly. “It’s a chick flick, it’s real cheesy, not even Eds would watch it with me”

“Okay?” Richie repeated. “You setting me up to hate it?”

She stared at him skeptically, and Richie had a similar look on his face, but only because he was very confused.

“Just pick a movie, (y/n/n), anyone’s fine” He chuckled.

He pulled the bag of popcorn out of the mic when it beeped, and dumped it’s contents into a large bowl. When he turned back around, (y/n) was still standing there. His brows furrowed, and he popped a kernel into his mouth.

“Would you dance with me?” She asked him.

Her volume was so soft he almost didn’t catch what she’d said, but when he processed the words, he was sure he’d heard her wrong.

“What?”

“Would you dance with me?” She repeated, a bit more clearly. “If I asked?”

“Is…. that what you want to do?” Richie spoke unsurely, trying to figure out what part of the breakup process ‘dancing’ would fall under. He shoved more popcorn into his mouth.

“I just wanna know” She shrugged.

“I mean, sure, but then the popcorn would get cold, it’s only good when it’s-”

“Richie” She mumbled, and by some miracle he actually heard her, and stopped rambling. He knows from the way she’s staring at him, and the sudden softness in her voice that something’s up. He waits for her to continue, but she doesn’t.

“What?” He feels like he’s lost, because he really has no idea what’s going on with her tonight. This breakup had really thrown her for a loop, he supposed

“Nothing” She shook her head, and before he could question her about her strange behavior, snatched the popcorn bowl and made a break for the living room.

When they got settled on the sofa and the movie (y/n) picked began to play. They were sat side by side, the bowl of popcorn separating them. She tucked her feet up underneath her in an attempt to be more comfortable, and kept on fussing with the blanket. It was like no matter how many times she readjusted, she just couldn’t get settled.

Eventually, she sighed, and looked over at Richie.

Low and behold, he was completely wrapped up in the plot of the movie, and hadn’t noticed a thing. (y/n) smiled at this, loving that he’d actually gotten into her lame romantic comedy. She leaned her head back on the cushion as she admired him. He was so serious when he was focused on something, his jaw set in place, eyes trained on the screen. It was so cute how drawn into the movie he really was.

Something happened that made him laugh, and he turned to (y/n) to crack a joke about it, but whatever he was about to say was lost on him when he caught her eyes already locked on him.

“Would you do it again?” She asked, before he could think of anything to say. He doesn’t have to ask her to clarify what she means, because he knows, he can tell by the way she’s studying him. “Ever?” She adds in a mumble after he’s been quiet for just a beat too long.

“Well, that’s a trick question now isn’t it?” He chuckles, but she shakes her head.

“No,” She speaks softly, “It’s not, I’m just wondering,”

She’s looking up at him so innocently that he wonders what sparked this question. Not that he hadn’t been thinking about it every minute of every day for the past four and a half months or so. He just didn’t think it ever crossed her mind. They had sworn to each other that it was a one time thing, no pesky strings or feelings attached. And Richie had thought she’d stuck to that promise pretty well- mostly because not a week later she’d gotten asked out, and then she dated the guy for a while.

“There’s no wrong answer, Rich,” She giggles, a nervous little sound that was the result of her heart doing backflips in her chest. “Really”

His eyes flicker between her impatient ones, testing to see if that were really true.

“Kind of” He says.

Her brows furrowed, signaling that there apparently was a wrong answer, and he’d said it.

“Kind of-?”

“Well, there’s a lot I’d do differently” He muses with a shrug of his shoulders, before she could get upset and ask him just what the hell ‘kind of’ means.

She angles her body a bit more towards his, waiting eagerly to hear what he has to say. But he gives her a confused look.

“What would you do differently?” She asks. She sounds restless, and Richie chuckles to himself. “Come on, really”

“For starters, I wouldn’t have chosen to do it at my own houseparty. Someone busted the coffee table you know, and I blame you for that-”

“What else?” She asks abruptly.

“Alright well,” Richie huffs, deciding there was no turning back now, because she was already more than eager to hear what he was thinking. “Also probably should’ve been a little more sober, just a little,” She laughed quietly, but didn’t speak so that he’ll keep talking. “And I would’ve grabbed an extra blanket, had I known you were a blanket hogger”

She laughs again, and this time he laughs with her. It’s a sweet moment, for it being so vulnerable.

“And I would’ve made sure you didn’t go in the morning” He confesses, in the midst of their laughter. (y/n’s) laughter stops instantaneously.

“What?” She murmurs, like she’d heard him wrong, because she must have heard him wrong.

“Yeah,” He shrugs. “I wouldn’t have let you go”

She blinks, stunned.

“You wanted me to stay?” She asks, a sweet little whisper that was bound to make everything come crashing down.

“Of course I did,” Richie chuckles. “I’d be an idiot to let you- I was an idiot to let you go. I hated that feeling,”

She’s silent again, her lips parted as the more he explained himself, the more surprised she was.

“It felt like- like I’d made the biggest mistake of my life- and trust me sweetheart, sleeping with you was a miracle- but if I could do it over again I wish that I could’ve...um…”

She’s waiting, hanging on to every word he spoke. She doesn’t realize that she’s leaning closer to him, too antsy to wait for him to find his voice.

“(y/n/n) if I’m being honest then I would’ve told you how I felt- about you- that night”

“How you felt about me?” She repeats in disbelief, and then sits upright on the couch, realizing they’re only a few inches away from one another.

Richie watches her as she takes the popcorn bowl and sets it to the side. And then leans back in towards him again, giving him her undivided attention.

“And how did you feel about me?” She murmurs.

Her hands set on his wrists, grasping onto them softly as his hands reach out to wrap around her waist.

“How didn’t I feel- Jesus I liked you so much I lost my fucking mind when you wanted me too”

Once he’s holding her firmly, she lets go of his hands to rest her palms on his shoulders, tilting up towards him to be more at his height. Even sat on the couch Richie practically towered over her.

“I didn’t know it was more to you than a quick fuck” She hums. Her voice is too sweet to be saying something so filthy, and it makes him chuckle just a bit.

He couldn’t help but tug her hips forwards, small prod really, but she took the bait and swung her leg over his lap.

“There was nothing quick about it sweetheart,” He teases, and as she situates herself on his lap, he releases one of his hands from her waist to gently trail his fingers over her throat, until his hand settles against the side of her neck. She’s blushing, but she’s smiling with anticipation.

He pulls her towards him a bit, and the tip of her nose presses against his cheek, her lips barely ghosting his. When her eyes flickered shut, Richie smirks

“And you were never a quick fuck”

She leans in, wanting nothing more than to kiss him and never stop. There was more electricity between them in this moment than she’d ever felt with her ex, and the realization made her feel like she was alive again.

Just as her moment of liberation is about to happen, the doorbell rings.

Richie brushes it off and cups her cheek, leaning in to kiss her anyways, but then his visitor started screaming.

“Richiieeee!” The distinct voice of Eddie Kaspbrack rings out from the other side of the door. “Dude! Open up! I got some drama for you!”

Richie and (y/n) turn to look at each other, equally confused.

“Let’s just pretend he’s not there” Richie says, making her giggle as he finally tries to kiss her.

And then Eddie lets himself in.

“I’m coming in!” He announces, and shuts the door behind him. “You’re not gonna believe this! (y/n) broke up with-”

It doesn’t surprise the couple on the couch when Eddie stops talking, and stares wide eyed and open mouthed.

“What the fuck is going on here!?” He’s screaming, which also isn’t a surprise, but it’s very upsetting.

(y/n) calmly slides off of Richie’s lap, and he lets go of his hold on her.

“Nothing” They say at the same time, unconvincingly.

“You were on his lap-” Eddie accuses.

“I-”

“You were kissing-!”

“No-?” Richie tries.

“You guys have been fucking this whole time!” He screeches.

“No!” Richie and (y/n) speak simultaneously again.

“Wait,” (y/n) walks over to Eddie. “How did you know I broke up with-”

“He called me” Eddie shrugged.

“What?”

“Yeah, he was trying to call you, but you never picked up. Clearly you weren’t home, because you were here, letting Richie get in your pants- jesus fuck (y/n) I thought you had better standards-”

“Stop it” (y/n) hissed, before frustratedly running her hands through her hair.

Richie shot up from the couch, walking over in hopes of convincing her to sit back down and relax again. But she shrugged off his hand and continued to pace around between him and Eddie.

“Very uncool, dickwad” Richie muttered to Eddie, who gave him an exasperated look and flipped him off.

“Why’d you come here then?” (y/n) spoke up.

“Um… huh?” Eddie played stupid.

“Why’d you come here? If my ex called you looking for me, why’d you come to tell Richie the news?”

Eddie and Richie shared a look, only making the girl more confused.

“I- well I thought you’d be here, you know, for support-”

Eddie shut up when the girl narrowed her eyes in disbelief. He was never a good liar, and (y/n) had a pretty good bullshit detector.

“This isn’t important,” Eddie shook his head. “What’s important is that he’s heartbroken, and looking for y-”

“I don’t care,” (y/n) said with a humorless chuckle as she crossed her arms over her chest. “I don’t fucking care! He’s the worst, and he’s insane to think that he was ever in love with me. Had a real boring way of expressing it-”

“Uh, I’m not here to tell you to get back together with him” Eddie said before she could yell anymore.

“What are you here for, then?” (y/n) asked.

“I could ask you the same thing” Eddie shoots back, and smirks victoriously between the two.

Richie’s just standing there, knowing better than to open his mouth. If he did, something bad would slip and he knew it, so he stared down at the ground.

(y/n) puckers her lips, casting a glance to Rich before back to Eddie.

“Well?” The asthmatic boy asks. “What the fuck were you guys up to?”

“None of your business,” Richie says before (y/n) has the chance to say anything. “You should go, Eds, I’ll call you tomorrow. We’re busy”

“With what?” Eddie’s practically daring Richie to confess.

“We’re watching a movie, don’t make me fucking kick you out”

Eddie rolls his eyes, bored with the lack of drama, and then heads for the door.

As soon as he closes it, he whips it open again, pointing an accusatory finger at the pair left standing there, as if he’d caught them in the act.

“Go, Eds” They both say, with the utmost annoyance in their voices.

This time when he left, they both watched the door, as if waiting for him to jump back into the room again. When it was clear he’d actually gone this time, (y/n) let out a sigh of relief.

She looked at Richie, and then back to the couch, where the movie, the popcorn bowl, and her blanket were left unattended.

“I should probably g-”

“You wanna stay the night?” Richie asked before she could finish her sentence, and her eyes shot up to his.

“Really?” She asked in disbelief.

Richie just nodded, and so she hesitantly nodded back.

“Okay” She agreed softly.

“I’ll find something for you to sleep in,” He told her. “You can finish the movie if you want” And with that he headed up the stairs.

At this point, she was more confused than ever. She had no idea where her and Richie stood now, the line between friendship and something… else… was so warped in her mind that she couldn’t tell how he felt anymore.

Richie came back down a few minutes later, finding her sat on the couch with the movie paused and the popcorn bowl in her lap. He grinned as he handed her a long sleeved shirt and a pair of sweatpants that looked very soft.

After changing quickly in the bathroom, she concluded they were the coziest things she’d ever worn. And Richie’s scent and laundry detergent lingered in them, making every inhale of breath she took be inviting.

When she came back out, Richie was on the couch, just waiting. His back was turned to her, and she could tell he was drumming his hands on his legs, a frequently done nervous habit of his.

She stood there for a moment, too anxious to walk over and sit with him like nothing had happened in the last half hour. Even though with everything that’s happened, her heart was beating a mile a minute with no end in sight.

Richie must’ve realized she was there, because he turned and made a face as if to ask why she was just standing there.

His expression softened though when his eyes landed on her figure. She looked so goddamn cute in his clothes that were just a bit too big for her. And by just a bit, I mean the sleeves kept falling over her hands and the waistband of the sweatpants had probably been rolled three times to keep the fabric from barely touching the ground.

He thought he was gonna have a stroke.

“You gonna come sit, sweetheart?” He finally spoke, “Or just stand there and look pretty all night?”

She laughs, and the tension in the room thins out a little as she makes her way over to sit with him again. Richie plays the movie again, and just like before, gets sucked right into it.

(y/n) sort of watches it, but has little attachment to what’s going on. Her mind is too busy processing everything, there was no capacity to keep an eye on a film as well.

The popcorn bowl is empty, so she can’t distract herself with eating. And she’s already tapping her fingers on her knee to a made up beat in her mind. How Richie is able to actually watch this movie right now is beyond her.

“(y/n)?” He asks, and she realizes he’s been staring at her for a while, trying to get her attention. She hums in response. “Do you want me to shut off the movie?”

Her eyes are wide as they meet his.

“W-why?” She stammers out.

“Because you aren’t paying attention at all,” He chuckles. “Are you tired? It is like… one in the morning”

“Uh- yeah, I-I guess” She stumbles over her words again, and balls up the fabric of her blanket in her hands.

He gives her a dorky little smile, and then stands to turn off the tv. She watches him grab the empty bowl before leaving the room.

She gets up to follow him into the kitchen, but he waved her off.

“You should go up to bed,” He says. “I’ll finish up down here”

She doesn’t know what else to say, so she follows the instructions.

It dawns on her that she hasn’t told her parents that she won’t be coming home tonight, but as she gets situated in Richie’s bed with her new favorite blanket, she just can’t seem to care. She decides a lecture when she comes home tomorrow is worth it.

She’s under all the covers, and her face is buried deep into a pillow when Richie finally comes up. He smirks at how settled she’s already gotten.

“You sleeping already?” He asks quietly, and her eyes open to smile at him.

“No, ‘m waiting” She hums, before snuggling her face back into her pillow.

“Waiting?” He asks, and walks closer to hear her better.

“Mhm”

“For… Santa?”

“For you, dummy,” She giggles softly, and then makes a grabby hand towards him. “Hurry up”

He laughs, and shakes his head at her, before kneeling onto the bed.

“I kinda thought I should sleep on the-”

“In here,” She whispers, hand finding his wrist and latching onto it. “With me, please” She adds in a much softer voice, like she’s embarrassed to ask, and he knows that she is.

“Okay…” Richie hesitantly gets under the covers. “As long as that doesn’t bother you”

“It didn’t before” She replies casually.

Her eyes are closed, but he smiles warmly at the comment. He thinks she’s falling asleep, but he was wrong, because her hand trailed from his wrist so that her fingertips were pressed into his palm.

“Richie?” She calls quietly.

He hums.

Her eyes open, and she squirms a little closer to him, finding comfort in the heat he radiated.

Her fingers slot into the spaces between his perfectly, and she grasps his hand tight.

“You weren’t a quick fuck for me either,” She admits gently.

He can see in her eyes that she’s uncertain, that she’s nervous to say anything, so he squeezes her hand to reassure her that she can tell him anything.

“And I wanted you long before that night, I just… um…” She licks her lips anxiously before continuing. “I didn’t think that you uh… actually wanted me, you know, like, more than…” She doesn’t finish her thought, but she doesn’t have to.

Richie gives her a smile, and then reaches his free hand out to brush his knuckles over her cheek. She smiles back at the comforting touch.

“You’ll stay in the morning?” He whispers, and she nods, brows drawn together as her smile widens. “Good” He breathes out in relief.

They lean in simultaneously, and their lips touch in a soft and sweet kiss. (y/n) relishes in how her lips seemed to have his committed to memory, and she melts against him once again.

She pushes forward so that her body is flush against his, and her free hand is holding his shirt in a fist. She’s filled with more love and lust and happiness that a girl can be, practically overflowing with it, even.

Richie pulls away too soon for her liking, tucking a strand of her hair back behind her ear tenderly before meeting her gaze.

“If anyone asks,” He tells her, “That was our first kiss”

(y/n) giggles, and nods her head before kissing him sweetly again.

“Okay” She agrees.

His fingers comb through her hair for a few moments, and he contemplates laying here, like this, with her, for the rest of his life. The quiet moment is so serene, so perfect, that he can’t imagine ever being happier than he is right now.

(y/n) whispers something, but it’s so soft that he only catches her lips moving.

“What?” He muses, and instantly there’s a pink blush blooming across her cheeks. “What?” He asks again, this time chuckling at her bashfulness.

“I love you…” She murmurs, only darkening her blush.

Richie pulls her into his chest, wrapping her up in his arms as he cradles her close for the night.

“I love you too, sweetheart,” He responds with a kiss to the top of her head. “Let’s do it right this time, okay?”

“M’kay” She hums back delightedly, already beginning to fall asleep in his arms.

It took months of agony and confusion to get here, but it couldn’t be clearer now. This is what love was supposed to feel like. She hadn’t learned to love before because that’s simply not how it works. Her heart already belonged to someone else, and she hardly even knew it. But now, it and she were all his, and he’d take good care of them.

[ i guess that’s love, i can’t pretend. ]

___

taglist: @fiantomartell @lemonypink @darling-egg

xoxo ~ jordie

#it 2017 #it 2019 #richie tozier #richie tozier x reader #richie tozier imagine #richie tozier scenario #richie rosier fanfiction #finn wolfhard #bill hader

229 notes · View notes

whole-lotta-hoes · 3 years

Text

Whole Lotta Hoes| Crack Fanfic Mini Series

Episode One: Zeppelin Is No More

Episode Two: Looking For A Job

Episode Three:

Episode Four:

Episode Five:

Warning:

This will cause you to lose a couple of brain cells and question your sanity. It will include a shit ton of weird shit and things that don't make sense at all. Do not read if you are not ready for any of this, read at your own risk.

Cast:

John Paul Jones (Main character)

Robert Plant

Jimmy Page

John Bonham

-------------------

Led Zeppelin is a band apparently. It's just a bunch of horny mother fuckers put together to make songs about sex. John Paul Jones was laying in bed with Robert Plant which he has no idea how that happened. He hoped nothing weird went down between them cause Jimmy Page would be so mad. oh jesus oh god you do not want to make that mother fucker mad. He'll literally turn you into a cheeseball and eat you. John got out of bed only to see that John Bonham was standing in the corner eating swedish fish gummies. He was not going to question it.

"Want some?" Bonzo asked him and he held one in his hand.

"I don't know you what the fuck!?" Jonesy yelled. He went to the baffroom and spotted jimmy trying to swim inside of the toilet. He believed he could do it if he tried hard enough.

"the oil supply demand is sky rocketing these days!" jimmy yelled as he got out of the toilet.

"Bitch do not touch me with your boo boo water," He warned him as he grabbed a toothbrush to use as a weapon. He learned how to make a knife with it in jail.

"Penis guitar playing is totes fun jonesy, you should try it," jimmie added. Oh mother fucker he is a heterosexual lad. Or that is what he said the other day when he ate some of robert's caramel popcorn. man he wondered how he even ended up in that stupid band. who's led and why does he have a zeppelin? you know some guy named their kid zeppelin but he claims that he didn't name him after the band. wait what were we talking about?

The band all decided to head to mcdonalds to eat happy meals. jimmy tickles.

"Guys! oh my god you will not believe it but britney is such a slut! ugh! can't believe she left me for a fish lookin' mother fucker-"

"No one gives a rats ass about your weird horny ass!" jimmy cut him off by yelling at robert. God damn that shithead has a huge ego but a small dick. Jonesy never understood why people liked him so much. He once stole his favorite pair of jojo siwa socks and claimed he never knew he owned any.

"You motherfuckers we're supposed to be going on tour!" Bonzo yelled as he swooped the food off the table.

"suck my asshole bonzo!" jim yelled.

"calm down pagey, he's just a meanie," robert added as he patted his head.

"y'all need to start realizing that no one likes you both!" jonesy snapped.

"shut up you're literally ugly and small and the bassist of led zeppelin and you look like heman with that stupid haircut of yours" Bonzo said as he ate jonesys burgers. damn that hurt.

"You know," jonesy began, "i don't need this job"

"what job?" robeet askes.

"shhhhh let the weirdo speak," jimmy said as he stuck his finger into his mouth.

"without me you will all suck asshole and no one will actually like led zeppelin," he explained.

the three slowly looked at each other and began to laugh their asses off at him.

"You act like you matter so much," robert added.

"shut up cheese cream! you're literally big and ugly and you look like you are 50 years old!" bonzo said as he drank his milk. that was funny. Jonesy felt his blood boil and grabbed his happy meal and stormed out.

It was the day of their shit concert. led zeppelin were backstage preparing to cause a dismother and set things on fire. preferably roberts underwear that pretty much doesn't exist in this case. the band stepped on stage and the crowd went wild.

"hello bananas-" That motherfucker fell forward into the drum set. oopsies. jimmy ran to him to make sure his hoe isn't dead or alive. fucking bon jovi.

"oh shit! robert plant is down!" he yelled. jonesy was absolutely done with them. they are nothing but a bunch of dumb fucks who ruin everything. He took out his laser penis and shot jimmy and robert to death.

"oh Motherfucker has a fucking laser pp! hija de su pinche madre!" jimmy yelled as he split in half. robert died again. bonzo just sat there blown away by the fact that that john paul jones just killed the front man and the guitarist of Led Zeppelin in front of millions of people. he was impressed.

"holy shit man you really-"

nope sorry but jonesy shot him too so he died. damn he could've let him live. meanie. oh wait im writing this so i could've.... ah man im too lazy to go back and fix it. too bad we're going with this plot now. Jonesy stepped off the stage and headed to the back.

"god dammit i hate everyone in this bloody world," he said to himself. he decided to hit the pub that was nearby to enjoy himself.

As he was sitting at the counter drinking something that is an alcoholic beverage. he began to spark ideas of what he could possibly do since led zeppelin died. He thought about starting a whole new band but he remembered that what caused him to kill led zeppelin. that was out of the shopping list for walmart. next was to steal money from the bank so he remains rich but he then realized that he is a famous musician and will get recognized quickly. fuck. he then thought of changing his hair to look less like heman cause that insult hurt.

"aha!" he shouted. He finally thought of something that could get him a shit ton of money. He drank the remaining drink from his cup and ran out of the pub.

he put on a thicc line of eyeliner, red lipstick, a black wig, fish nets leggings, high heeled boots, and earrings. oh man this is going to be hella great. His wife walked in to see what the fuck this small ass mothertrucker was up to this time. oh man i shat my pants.

"sweetie what the fuck are you doing!?" she yelled. Jonesy turned to look at her.

"led zeppelin is no more," he responded. She was so confused and wondered how the fuck she even ended up marrying heman. she had no idea what led zeppelin is no more meant and was hella concerned for his health.

"be back in a few days," he added as he broke his ankle trying to exit the house and rolled down the hill. oops it's not up the hill anymore. guess you could really say he went down hill. i hate myself so much. he walked down the sidewalk and ended up in someone's house. Motherfucker it's jimmy page's house. he stole his nice trousers or whatever those were. my teacher walked by as i wrote that btw. turns out they don't fit him cause jimmy is also a big hoe and jonesy isn't. shit. jimmy is embarrassing asf. that was pointless of him stealing so he stole his underwear. wait he wears those? imma look it up hold on. i didn't find anything about that so im just going to assume that he doesnt.

there was a picture of jimmy when he was with the yardbirbs and golly that is one ugly Motherfucker! he stole and stuffed it into his underwear. he got out of the house full of useless shit that he did not need at all. Then he forgot what he was doing. Jonesy continued walking down the street only to break his other ankle and rolled down the steep pathway. damn he's one dumb hoe bitch.

His laser penis was out of control. he just wanted to have a little me time but instead shot a whole through the wall of the motel be was staying in. god dammit. he removed his pp and switched it out with a normal pp. that's odd. his plan of overthrowing led zeppelin stressed him out. what else do you do when you're stressed? well can't say cause i ain't gotta peener. he got so bored. his days of not being in led zeppelin have been lame and was the worst idea he could even come up with. he didn't know what to do know. he can't just eat your grandma over and over again. he looked at himself through the mirror and oh my god I'm a sexy Motherfucker oh yeah bitch im THE BITCH. he needed to find something that'll keep him entertained for while.

babysitting was a bad idea. he got bitten by a bunch of goblins and gave him rabies. god i hate kids.

"hello motherfucker," jimmy said.

"OH SWEET MOTHER OF GOD DAD SHOES PENIS PLANT! I THOUGHT I KILLED YOU THE OTHER DAY!" Jonesy yelled as he jumped over the couch.

"Nah bitch that was just my twin brother Jamie Patricia Page," He added. "Bitch why are you dressed like a stripper?"

Oh yeah he forgot that was what he was going to do once he killed led zeppelin. he still can but now there's a little bitch with him named james patrick page.

"we should kill robert plant," jimny suggested.

"Bitch i already killed him, you're a little too late you duck whore," he responded.

turns out he didn't actually kill led zeppelin but instead killed their twin brothers.

"You want to overthrow led zeppelin into the trashcan?" Jonesy asked. "Thought that's what you and bert wanted to do...."

"Nah man.... percy is a very stupid penguin and is meanie.... he stole my jojo siwa socks," jimmy explained.

ah damn turns out robert plant is the villain of the story and should be died. he is too powerful. his hair will slice the fuck out of anyone.

"You got a plan?" Jonesy asked.

"i say we steal his pants and burn them and use them as an alternative to oil," he explained. damn science class. then this guy named bonzo showed up and began to beat them with his drum sticks.

"BONZO CALM THE FUCK DOWN! AHHHHHHHHH!!!" james yelled.

"sorry but robert said to beat you both with them!" bonzo yelled back.

jonesy dug through his pants and took out a bunch of swedish fish gummies.

"hey look! fish gummies! come and get it boy!"

"bitch what the fuck I am not some stupid dog for you to be doing that time of shit you small Motherfucker heman lookin hoe short shit," bonzo said.

"GIMME GIMME OH SHIT!" he attacked Jonesy.

jimmy page the god of led zeppelin stood there watching while cheering them on fight fight fight! it got in here so he removed his trousers and threw them at bonzo which ended up knocking him out.

"oh shit! your pants are powerful! we can use it to kill percy!" Jonesy shouted.

"NO! JIMBERT MUST GO CANON!" Jimmy yelled and jumped out the window. all you heard was splash. that motherfucker jumped into the pool and is now wet. that's a disturbing image. Jonesy rolled his eyes and went back to doing whatever the fuck he was doing. it all of a sudden got really bright outside. oh the sun came out cause it was cloudy. but wait! Jonesy looked out the window and spotted robert plant heading towards him.

"IM THE GOLDEN GOD-" that motherfucker fell inside of the pool and sizzled. cual pinche golden god ese no mas anda haciendo puros desmadres y estupideces de mario.

that was the end of led zeppelin.

#led zeppelin #robert plant #jimmy page #john paul jones #john bonham #cursed post #cursed content #crack fanfic #fanfic #led zeppelin fanfic

7 notes · View notes

shaekingshitup · 4 years

Text

Shae’s First Date

For anyone who is bored: the most brief (that I can recap because ya girl is a lengthy heaux) summary of my first date goes as follows:

EDIT: THIS SHIT AIN'T BRIEF. SORRY NOT SORRY 🤷🏿‍♀️🤷🏿‍♀️ But I put a TLDR at the end.

I matched with a guy on Bumble who had some cool hobbies and some of which overlapped with mine. We talked daily for almost 2 weeks before we met up in person and the guy was a very big charmer/woo-er. Like if I was messaging this kid I was constantly laughing and smiling

Tbh this was a lil bit of a red flag to me becauae I'm like: "no one is this charming. Something has gotta be up" & I legit came up with a few different scenarios. But I chose to shelf them because people do that to me all the time.

Like I'm just a really loving person and I will gas people up or go out of my way to make them happy if I can and people always want to try me like that can't truly be how/who I am or if I'm doing it it's because I'm trying to get at that person and they are always wrong. All the way from best friends to new acquaintances I really just like when people are happy. I mean the world's shitty already, if I can make your day easier or put smile on your face I'm game!

So we're on the phone one night (stayed up to 3 am sacrificing my sleep talking to this dude 🙄) talking more about who we are as people, what we're looking for in an ideal partner, etc. I told him straight up both via call and via message that honesty is really important to me. I value honesty with myself and also with others.

So also in this late night call things got a lil spicy 🌶 🌶 I was honest and told him that I'm pretty much a blank slate. Never fucked/sucked, etc or had anything like that done to me. He was taken aback like everyone I share this with is. Apparently I'm some sort of unicorn 🦄 out here in these streets to all y'all hoes. He makes a comment about stealing a kiss from me the next night and I said "I might allow it."

But the point is. I told him what it was. I was honest. That's my truth.

I didn't tell him that I'd never been on a date/kissed anyone because he didn't ask. Maybe if I would've said something, things would've been different. But I can't "what if" what's already happened y'all!

SO, day of. We messagin and snapping. I'm allll ready. We're going to a drive in and I'd never been to one before so I'm excited. I'm also just committed to making this a good time because I easily get distracted and often don't stop to take my experiences in to experience them fully. So I said not today!!

I got snacks. All of his favs and some of mine. I brought drinks and a blanket. I looked good.

Like I said in my pre-date post: I didn't have any lofty ideas about this dude being my soul mate or anything but I anticipated a good time.

He picked me up at our designated location. My sister met him and got his license plate; because apparently I had enough sense to realize I didn't know this nigga but not enough sense to later realize I didn't know this nigga.

It wasn't gonna take as long to get to the drive in as originally anticipated. So we went to a local park and sat in the car and talked because the park was PACKED and ya know RONA!

It was somewhat awkward because it was our first time talking face to face. But we found a groove and I'm extroverted af y'all. So, I can get people to have a conversation.

Topics range from our days, music and conspiracy theories which he's really into. What kind? Like: Shakespeare wrote the Bible is one. A lot of people that we know from media aren't really the original ones that we were introduced to is another. Ya know like that Beyoncé is not the real Beyoncé. There's two Trumps. There's two Hilary Clintons etc.

So at this point sensible me is like: this can be the point where you go home girl. You're 5 minutes away from your place. You can just say this ain't workin and cut it short.

OPTIMISTIC/BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT GIVIN/NAIVE SILLY ME IS LIKE: well, I 100% don't agree with anything you're saying just because you're saying it. But ya know, I don't know everything and I'm not in the business of judging people-especially since we just met and I don't want this human to feel uncomfortable. So, okay. I don't agree. But I won't judge. Let's just continue on.

If you haven't guessed by now which me I listened to, you may be just as silly as I am 🙃🙃🙃

But obviously I continued on and that's what I call mistake #1

So we're driving to the drive in. I'm realizing we're kind of different in ways. Most notable is that dude was raised Jehovah's Witnesses and celebrates 0 holidays & I'm in love with Halloween and at least birthdays.

We miss the drive in entrance due to my poor navi skills & he decides to smoke before we pull in. He offers it to me and I accept. This is mistake #2

Ya girl hasn't smoked in 6 years. I tried edibles recently. But that shit ain't the same. I really just feel like I said I wanted to be present and then I smoked and I was tired and everything was kind of dull?

So I'm high and sleepy but still a lil excited because it's my first drive in!! We get there and park and the drive in is really just a giant protection screen we all park in front of. Lmao. 😅 Idk what I was expectin but not that. But it was still cool. It's 10 and this movie still hasn't started because the last one is still showin credits.

Dude says he wants to chill in the back but he's going to the bathroom. I AM SLEEPY. THAT IS WHAT WEED DOES TO ME. Plus I was on the phone til 3 AM. So I'm like imma close my eyes before this thing starts since it's already late.

So while he goes to the bathroom I legit laid down in the back on a pillow because ya girl is a sleepy heaux 😴

He comes back and pits the pillow in his lap and is talking to me because this movie ain't started yet. My eyes are closed but I'm listening and everything and he's massaging my shoulders and whatnot. Eventually advertisements about common courtesy come on and what not. But that's not important and I don't move.

Soo he says something I'M ASSUMING IT WAS ABOUT THE KISS (I don't remember y'all. I'm about to skimp on some of these details because that high was really kickin in and I was feelin foggy.) But, I said "I would allow it." And he kissed me.

It honestly felt anticlimactic as fuck. Yeah my mind is kind of foggy because of the weed so I feel like I wasn't as fully cognizant as I would have been if I was sober minded. But also, it just happened

I'm in my head af. I've never done this and I'm sure I'm shit at it but I'm trying not to be ya know? Dude's tongue is in my mouth. His hand is under my romper.

So, I'm a roll with the punches kind of human and the rest of the film we pretty much are making out (lowkey meh), groping (I hate this word) & watching Deadpool ( for people who needed that detail)

As previously stated, all of this shit is new to me. But, I'm also not a "prude". I chose not to kiss/fuck anyone prior to this because it was what I wanted for a period of time. I couldn't do much in the date department because I was just not approached often or by people I wanted to entertain. But the opportunities for all that physical shit were presented and I chose not to just like I chose to engage in those activities on this date. I'm real big on not judging nor regretting those choices because those were what I wanted at one point and that's it. Soo if you got opinions about what I was out here doin, keep em to yaself.

We ended up making out and I feel like it was cool.. but just not great. We did other shit minus actual fucking. But it all just felt pretty muted to me. Not bad. Not uncomfortable. Just not great and I think in hindsight it was because I a) really didn't know and have an established connection with this dude and b) I was high.

He really wanted me to suck his dick and I was really hesitant to do that. Not even that much because I was checking off a lot of "firsts' or anything like that but because I swore I was gonna be shit at it due to 0 experience and that was what I told him. Like, I wanna be good at shit and also I would like if the person I was hooking up with was actually enjoying being with me ya know? Is that not a thing? Y'all just be out here tryna get ya nut and say fuck it to whomever you with? Lemme be a unicorn then. 🦄

But anyways, I did this and he says like nothing. I'm in my head af trying to recall upon all of my BP smut I've read and trying not to suck at sucking (SO THANKS TO ALL OF Y'ALL WHO BE WRITING SMUT!!). After a few minutes the car turns off and Ryan Reynold's ain't talking anymore. Sooo I take this as a sign that I should stop and tell him as much.

He turns the car back on so we can still hear the movie & I'm pretty much like half watching the movie and talking to him like: "Soooo. I did that and I feel like I was right." To which he responds, "I've had worse," which is like ya know the compliment of the century and the most reassuring feedback you can give someone who is insecure about shit they've never done.

We still ended up making out and I gave him a handjob and finished the movie. I can't recall if it was at this point or when he drove me home but he basically implied that I was a liar and that is the shit that literally makes me wanna go back in time and tell former me to never say yes to a date with this nigga.

He drove me home and I was pretty quiet listening to Ari Lennox (💕) and thinking/processing. He gets to my place and we're talking now that we're parked and tells me that he thought I probably wasn't right about never having sex before. He told me I probably just had sex like 3 years ago and it had been so long that's why I said that and that's why my pussy is so tight.

So, I'm real life hurt. I like to consider myself to be someone who has a good character and I am really big on honesty.

So I asked him why he said that if I told him from jump what it was. He told me that his ex lied a lot and that he just couldn't believe me..

And I know for certain that his assumption was independent of any of my actions. He literally just told me so. He projected his insecurities onto me. But I'm a sensitive ass heaux and that shit still shook me. PBS raised me right. I don't be out here lyin & I don't like when people try to tell me who tf I am.

We pretty much just ended up arguing about the night and he was doing it on purpose because he thinks it's sexy when women are mad. But when I get mad, I get done. If I let enough shit slide and you have the audacity to try and flip my script, I will fucking write you out of it.

Then I looked up at the time and realized I was sitting in this car arguing with nigga for at least 25 minutes. So I was just like: bitch, why are you still here?

I told him straight up that when I got out of that car he could forget about talking to me altogether and he was like: "I'll let you know when I make it home."

I told him he need not bother because apparently I'd finally gained some damn sense. I exited the car. He left. He hit me up when he made it home but I just deleted the app and removed him off of snap because I meant that shit.

TLDR; Went on my first date with a conspiracy theorist I matched with on Bumble and he told me I lied about my lack of sexual history.

#bumble #first date #drive in #story time #short stime #i need my mutuals to pray for me #because lordt #deadpool #ryan reynolds #ari lennox #personal #mine #big time sigh #im sorry I can't add the keep reading tab on mobile tk!

15 notes · View notes

cloudfiles · 4 years

Text

☁ ˙ ∙ — — — 𝐈𝐓'𝐒 𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐄 𝑺𝑨𝑻𝑼𝑹𝑫𝑨𝒀 !!! check the notes to see who is participating & send out a text to everyone. that being said , be patient when waiting for texts to arrive to your inbox. you’re getting some , we promise ! + you do not need to be doing the meme yourself to send stuff out to other muns. in fact , we’d love it if you did just that.

remember , you only need to reblog this post TODAY ( saturday ) in order to participate. however , you may answer or send out memes anytime throughout the week. * don’t reblog or like this post if you’re not apart of hqclouds.

disastrio's 'the pin list' text starters.

src : aurorasmemes. tw: nsfw, mention of abuse.

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] u should know by now i’m not as much a complete person as i am several sitcom tropes stacked in an anxiety blanket

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] things that should not be present in making spaghetti and meatballs: sparks

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] things that were present when i was making spaghetti and meatballs two minutes ago: sparks

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] give it a good deep fry and it’ll make reddit front page

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] you piece of fuck

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] i’m not making this up it’s a real post

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] i just really don’t like the look of american hollywood boys apparently

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] quit trying to post porn [name]

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] what’s deeper than emotional? are you going to /fuck/ the house?

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] i genuinely don’t know what i expected googling that thing but that was not it

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] i legitimately don’t know how you’re expecting me to reply to this

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] i’m setting up my bfu episode

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] u might finally be free of “[full name] fucks.”

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] plural of jerry’s is jerry'ses

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] you’re sharing so there’s a trail in case someone ( maybe yourself ) goes missing when ur backs are turned

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] i have yet to whip out dicks young lady

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] lizard brayo

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] fuck the fuck off tunglr

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] what are Christmas goblins if not depression goblins with prettier aesthetics

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] we’re just two bitches trying to watch [actor] and then go to bed

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] maybe complaining is what gets it off.

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] well yeah, it’s hard to knock on a door that doesn’t exist

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] murdered by demons is our go-to

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] we sound like the casting calls for the leads of the same gay cowboy movie

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] any blanket is a weighted blanket when u carry the weight of ur sins

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] We have some Amazing 🌈Bottoms🌈

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] [name] i am confiscating ur thumbstacks

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] YOUR HUBRIS BECAME YOUR DOWNFALL

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] what can i say i’m a sexual deviant and i can’t be stopped

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] the stars neglected me. they haven’t assigned me a fetish

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] i’m pretty sure 'you are going to be the death of me’ was like. the disclaimer of this entire squad

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] swipe right if you dare!

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] but it tracks for the pachycephalosaurus

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] I SWEAR TO JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] this chat is going to give me an aneurysm

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] “fully automated luxury gay space communism” is the best tag i’ve ever seen

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] why don’t you have a stockpile of mothman memes

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] i really do owe my life to the aesthetic

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] u coax the worst things out of my mouth and then [screenshot/save/pin] them to record my mistakes

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] ur not allowed to die its just the rules

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] you two are going to be the death of me

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] why are you paying for microsoft office in 2019

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] it’s nearly [zodiac] season, bitches

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] i see your “will make content for rarepairs” and i raise you “will make content for pairs literally no one has ever considered and probably for a good reason”

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] i was DOOMED and thus so are all of u

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] i am going to snap your fingernails vertically in half

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] own that garbage

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] oh fuck that suck

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] we were building a desert set which was less exciting and more construct-y but it did lead to the following conversation: [ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] guy walking in: chickenwire, huh. what’s gonna come out of that? [ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] me: quicksand

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] viva la resistance motherfuckers

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] well the ass and the face are the most disturbing part

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] it was still very much about the shape of his teeth

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] a real whoosy boi

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] if i suffer y'all suffer that’s the rules

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] also icb ur liveblogging your crime

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] granted i do still want the [body part(s)] to be attached to the person and not just laying around somewhere

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] i’m gonna go with “have repressed all memories of this by tomorrow and even looking at this conversation for context isn’t going to provide us with information”

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] … Well if u ever commit a crime and need to change ur hair ur all set

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] oh god i’d completely forgotten about the teeth conversation

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] something about that ass Haunts me

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] [name]’s teeth are,,,,,,, h*t

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] ur not late, any time is a good time to hate capitalism

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] oh shit [name]s pulling out the big guns

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] listen as far as the things you could come back to go i think this is a good one

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] Amateur theatre energy is alarmingly similar to redneck ingenuity energy

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] threat acknowledged

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] i take it back i don’t want any more information

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] what do we say to the god of baby germs

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] and then Goth happened

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] turn everything into a photishooot

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] but u also would have got pictures of me depositing the tiger in the cow shed

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] i feel like you constantly forget that i’m always full of Good Points

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] you want to punish urself by seeking unhealthy relationships. also the stars say u may want to have ur feet fucked

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] “white orc sex slave” is not a phrase i thought i’d hear today

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] yeah raw sexual energy

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] [name] perks up at the mention of lying to the fbi lmao

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] yall are dumb and i love u

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] HOW CRYPTID IS THE COWBOY IF U CAN TELL HE’S INDIFFERENT

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] [image file saying 'mothman respects your position but must express his dissent. also you’re going to die.]

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] …do i need to make the vampire joke

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] ur amazing and so good and so important and lowkey i’m crying abt how much i love u and u deserve every good thing i love u thanks for coming to my ted talk

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] look me in the eyes and tell me steve wouldn’t crawl up thanos’s butthole to save the world and get bucky back

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] [name] i am going to choke you

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] my brain was immediately with “she took the shirt off to wipe away the blood of someone, possibly someone she murdered, and then had to put the shirt back on

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] i literally never know what i’m going to come back to when i open this chat

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] i make no excuses for who i am as a person

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] i am going to jump off the edge of the earth. [ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] and that’s not me saying flat earthers are right that’s me saying i will flatten it myself and then jump off

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] i’m trying to show sympathy you fuck

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] what can i say, i’m an escapist bitch

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] i never want to see dick and clown in the same sentence ever again

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] oh fuck off. i don’t know what they’ve done but it’s [name] so it’s gonna be bad.

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] icb we have a test run on new year’s eve

#( meme day )

12 notes · View notes

bing-fucker · 4 years

Note

Plot twist, Remus was amping up his annoyingness and grossness just so when Anti is all fed up and says "UGH IS THERE ANYTHING THAT WILL GET YOU TO SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE" Remus can then say "lemme fuck you and I'll shut up for the rest of the day". It was all part of his master plan to get at Anti's twink ass

Remus is an evil master mind and I love him for it. Also, I'm using this ask to write it because y'all have given me far too many ideas for this, and if I have to suffer with my thoughts, so do you. Also, just for Hearts Anon, I did mention Anti bottoming for Dark. So there.

Also, I can't add read more links on my phone, so I'm sorry.

Warnings: Remus being Remus, mentions of wound-fucking and blood play, Anti's throat wound, mentions of suicide, dildos used as gags, use of the term "glitch bitch" in a sexual context, Remus licks Anti's throat slit. Ask me to add as necessary!

Meeting the Sides was supposed to be exciting! It was supposed to be fun and cool, because the Sides were new and it was fun to meet new people. Schneep had immediately latched onto Logan, and the two were talking about math so quickly that Anti wasn't even sure they were speaking English (he did, actually, hear some German words occasionally). Marvin and Jackie had both quickly been dragged off by Roman, Chase was speaking to Patton and Deceit, and JJ awkwardly teaching Virgil some Sign.

Which left Anti, who would have much rather been left alone. Unfortunately, however, Anti was not alone. No, instead, Anti had been annoyed all day by one Duke Remus Sanders. Remus was, to put it simply, fascinated by Anti. And, specifically, Anti's neck wound. Anti had attempted to escape him by going outside, but that just got him followed.

"Hey, if someone fucked your throat wound, would it be, like, deep-deep throating?" Remus asked, looking around the backyard of the Sides' house. "Or! Or! If you sucked someone's dick, could it go through the slit?" Remus looked back at Anti, who was sitting on the porch steps, looking exhausted. Remus leaned closer to Anti and poked his throat wound.

"Don't feckin' do that, you eejit!" Anti exclaimed, slapping Remus' hand away. "It isn't all the way cut through, dumbass, that isn't how biology works!"

"Have you tried it?" Remus asked, cocking his head curiously.

"No!"

"Then how do you know?"

"Because I'm not feckin' decapitated, this isn't just a hole in my throat!" Anti groaned and stood, stomping back into the house. It had been like this for the five hours that him and the others were visiting the Sides, and he was very close to taking Dark's advice and trying to kill himself again. Or maybe killing Remus. Either were ideas that would work.

Anti stomped into the living room, where most of the others were gathered. Remus followed behind him quickly, rambling on about something Anti wasn't paying attention to and never had been.

"Oh, for feck's sake!" Anti exclaimed, stopping and turning to look at Remus, who stilled and cocked his head curiously. "What do I have to do to get you to leave me alone!?"

Remus grinned wide. "Let me fuck you and I'll leave you alone for the rest of the day." Anti heard the very distinct sound of Schneep cursing in surprise, and even a surprised laugh from Chase.

"Are you serious?" Anti asked, glaring at Remus.

"Deadly so," Remus agreed, grinning wider.

Anti glared harder. Was it worth it? The average man lasted three to ten minutes, to be fair. So it was three to ten minutes of Anti's life for hours of piece. "Fine," he said, drawing more surprised curses and laughs from Henrik and Chase. "But you don't touch my neck."

Remus looked shocked for a second, then grinned and grabbed Anti's hand, quickly sinking down and subsequently dragging the glitch out of the living room and into Remus' room. Anti looked around the room, glitching in annoyance.

"Wow. Great decorating skills," he said sarcastically. Remus' room was dark, messy, and probably a health hazard.

"Thank you!" Remus replied, seemingly mistaking Anti's sarcasm for genuine admiration.

"Yeah, whatever." Anti sighed and turned back towards Remus, opening his mouth to say something else. However his words were quickly cut off by the duke crashing his lips against Anti's. Anti yelped into the kiss, fumbling with his hands hand a second before settling them on Remus' hips.

"Jaysus feck!" Anti exclaimed, pulling away from the kiss briefly. "Warn a guy!"

"I thought the whole 'let me fuck you and I'll leave you alone' bit worked as a warning," Remus replied, moving to kiss at Anti's throat and frowning when he remembered. "How am I supposed to do foreplay if I can't mark your throat!?"

"Try taking off my shirt, asshole," Anti replied, pushing Remus away and pulling his shirt off. "There are other places to mark someone!"

"Works for me," Remus replied, quickly taking off his own shirt and shoving Anti onto the bed.

"Ask me to do things, don't just shove me!" Anti hissed, glitching slightly as he arranged himself on the bed.

"That's boring," Remus replied, straddling Anti's thighs and quickly setting to work marking up the glitch's shoulders and collarbones. "Hey, is it going to bleed? Like, while I'm fucking you?"

"You're feckin' disgusting," Anti replied, voice glitching into a soft moan when Remus licked around his nipple.

Remus didn't respond, only ground against Anti's thigh lightly. Anti winced slightly, suddenly very much reminded that the only time he'd bottomed before was when losing a fight to Dark- and Remus was shaping up to be quite a bit rougher than Dark.

"You hump like a wild animal," Anti hissed, holding back a sound as he shifted beneath Remus and was reminded of his own cock, straining in too-tight skinny jeans.

"Yes, well, it's one of my charms," Remus responded, sitting back slightly to admire the mass of dark bruises he'd left littering Anti's shoulders, chest, and collarbones. Anti glared weakly up at him, earning a sigh. "Are you going to glare the entire time?"

"Until you do something that's worth me not, yes," Anti replied.

Remus shrugged and climbed off of Anti, roughling yanking the glitch's jeans and boxers off in one smooth motion. Anti yelped, gripping Remus' hair as the duke lifted his legs in the air and pressed his face right against Anti's entrance.

"What is with you not warning people!?" Anti exclaimed, blushing and staring down at Remus in shock. Remus just shrugged and licked around Anti's hole wetly, drawing a startled moan from the glitch.

"Y-you're doing horribly," Anti commented, words falsified by the high-pitched, glitching moans he gave as Remus ate him out.

"You say that," Remus replied, pulling back slightly. "And yet every other part of you disagrees." As if to prove his point, he dragged his finger up the underside of Anti's achingly hard cock. Anti yelped, hips bucking up in response.

"See, look at that," Remus purred, snapping his fingers and locking Anti's legs into previously unseen stir-ups. He pulled away to undress himself. "You seem so open for me. Pity your mouth can't quite shut up."

"What are you gonna do, gag me?" Anti replied, blushing brightly at the lewd position Remus had put him in.

"You know," Remus commented, standing and walking to a chest of drawers across the room. "That's not a half bad idea. Let's test something out." Anti craned his neck to try and see what Remus was doing, blushing more as he became more excited at the mystery.

"There we go," Remus purred, returning to Anti's side with something hidden behind his back. "Open wide, my dear glitch bitch." Anti rolled his eyes at the name, but opened his mouth obediently, silently justifying his obedience by saying it was for the sake of being left alone. Anti's eyes once again widened as Remus shoved a rather sizable dildo down his throat, reflexive tears almost immediately springing to his eyes as he glared at the duke.

"Well, that was disappointing," Remus observed. "You were right." Anti rolled his eyes as if to say 'Duh, of course I was'.

"Don't get snippy," Remus laughed, climbing back onto the bed and between Anti's lifted legs. "You look rather beautiful, you know. All spread out and silenced. I bet you'd look even prettier with your lips wrapped around a cock."

Anti blushed and moaned around the dildo in his throat at the praise, arching his back as Remus slowly pushed the head of his cock into him.

"Oh," Remus breathed, watching the demon beneath him as he pushed fully inside. "Somehow I didn't peg you as the praise type. Hah! Peg!" Anti rolled his eyes again, letting out a muffled moan as Remus angled his hips and pressed against Anti's prostate.

"You feel so good," Remus purred, waiting less than a minute for Anti to adjust before setting a punishing pace. "Better than I imagined." Anti's eyes fluttered closed as Remus continued, moaning desperately around the dildo down his throat.

"Fuck, you're hot," Remus praised, gently stroking Anti's cock as he fucked him. Anti moaned loudly, not even caring as Remus leaned down and licked along his wound. Anti whimpered and moaned desperately around his gag, bucking back against Remus' thrusts as he came far too quickly for his own liking.

"That's very cute," Remus grunted, thrusts becoming erratic and even rougher as he came close to his own orgasm. "How quickly you came just from getting fucked. We should do this more often~" Anti didn't even have the coherancy to roll his eyes in response, or be disgusted when Remus came inside of him.

Remus pulled away with a soft laugh, licking his lips at the sight Anti made and staring for a few minutes. Eventually, he released Anti's legs from their stir-ups and pulled the dildo from the glitch's throat, impassively watching Anti gasp and choke for breath for a few seconds before offering a bottle of water.

"There we go," Remus laughed, getting dressed and tossing Anti his clothes. "That was fun wasn't it?"

"Ah!" Anti made a gesture for Remus to shut up when he was coherant enough to start getting dressed. "You said you'd leave me alone!"

"Does that have to start now?" Remus whined, watching Anti get dressed with a pout.

"Yes," Anti replied, pulling his shirt on. "Yes it does." With that, the glitch turned and stormed off, followed closely by the laughing duke.

Anti collapsed on the living room couch gratefully, looking forward to spending the rest of the visit in silence. Silence which he only got to enjoy for about ten minutes.

"Guys," Jackie said, voice soft. Anti groaned and looked away from his phone, looking at Jackie, who was now holding a sleeping Jameson, the youngest clinging to the hero like a koala. "Get your stuff, okay? We're gonna head home."

Anti stared in shock. He did all of that for ten minutes!? He could've put up with Remus for all that time! Not that he was too bothered about getting to fuck the other man, but still! It was the principle of it! Ten minutes!

"WHAT THE FUCK!?" Anti exclaimed, his loud voice joined by Schneep and Chase's loud laughter.

9 notes · View notes

fanghuas · 5 years

Note

Prompt 1 from that last list your reblogged with Jason, Dick and Duke? More support >:D

So this feels rushed and incomplete but I just wasn’t going to finish anytime soon otherwise. And I already feel bad for taking so long! You’re actually the best, thank you for the prompt!

Neither of them was saying it, but Jason could tell they were thinking it. He rolled his eyes at the guarded look Dick and Duke exchanged. It was just his fucking luck that he had to be in the manor when something like this happened. Of course they would immediately pin it on him.

“Oh sure, blame the murderer!” Jason said with a scowl. “Y'all suck!”

“No one’s accusing you of anything, Jason,” Dick said levelly, though he glanced at the source of Jason’s troubles with great discomfort. “It’s just…”

“It’s just there’s a severed head in the fridge,” Jason finished for him, blunt and to the point. “And not only am I a killer, I have also specifically killed by decapitation before. There’s bloodstains on my jacket, I was unaccounted for during patrol yesterday and you know that I’ve been fighting with Bruce over the past few weeks. Not that much of a reach, is it? Excellent detective work. Bravo.”

Dick pinched the bridge of his nose in such a Bruce-like manner that it instantly made Jason want to punch him in the face.

“Okay, but if I was killing people and didn’t want the rest of the family to know it,” Duke mused, frowning, looking strangely at ease with the situation as a whole and this hypothetical scenario, “I wouldn’t be bringing the severed heads of my victims to the manor and stuffing them in the fridge. I’d just dump them in the river. Sorry to ruin it, Jay, but I doubt this was you.”

”And I agree,” Dick jumped in with a grateful smile for Duke. “It’s just that…if it wasn’t one of us that brought it here, then that would mean somebody bypassed the manor’s security to leave a severed head in our fridge. And I’m as troubled about how they did it as why.”

“Maybe it’s not a severed head at all,” Duke said wistfully. “Maybe it’s a very convincing replica for Damian’s art class.”

Jason snorted. “In that case, he really nailed the decomposing corpse scent. A+.”

“Well, he’s a gifted child.”

“Guys,” Dick scolded. “Come on. This is serious.”

“Oh, shut your face, I’m still pissed at you,” Jason said. “Duke’s my favorite sibling now.”

“Thank you,” Duke said, grinning.

Dick sighed. “I didn’t even -”

“Bull, you were thinking about it and you know it. So, do we think someone left us a rotting head as some sort of scare tactic? Because it’s not working very well, is it.”

Dick shook his head. “That’s what I don’t get. It feels so…random. It’s not even the head of anyone we know. So what message are they sending? I want to hope that whoever did this is an enemy of Bruce Wayne and not Batman, but…”

“Well, whoever they are, they’re good enough to get past the manor’s security,” Duke said with a frown. “That’s…not good. We should tell the others. Let them know they should be on alert. And maybe they know something.”

Dick nodded his agreement, face grim, and fished his phone out of his pocket to text the rest of the bats.

“You know, it’s contradictory,” Duke mused. “They went to a great deal of trouble to leave this here. You don’t just do that if you don’t want people to notice. It’s a cry for attention. And yet no one’s claiming responsibility, there’s no note attached, no threats made, nothing.”

“Solid thinking,” Jason said. The kid was good. Fast learner. “If only the rogues in this goddamn city had half as much sense as you.”

“But why would one of the rogues target Bruce Wayne?” Duke argued. His frown deepened. “Unless they know, in which case we’re in deeper shit than originally assumed.”

“Or maybe we’re in no shit at all,” Dick said with a deep sigh. “Tim texted back. It’s his.”

“The head is?” Jason asked incredulously. “Damn. Kid finally snapped and became a serial killer? Tell him congrats.”

“Hilarious,” Dick deadpanned. “But no. It’s part of a case he’s working on. Apparently the medical examiner is untrustworthy.”

“An untrustworthy official in Gotham? I’m shocked. Tell Tim I’m shocked,” Duke requested.

“You assholes both have his number,” Dick said. “Tell him yourself. Now, if you’d like to focus, the point here is that we got worked up over nothing. Case closed. Any questions?”

“Uh, yeah,” Jason said, making a show of raising his hand like he was in class. “Why did he leave it in the manor’s fridge and not his own?”

“Really? That’s your question? Not why didn’t he use the special equipment we have in the cave specifically for the purpose of keeping things like this frozen?” Dick asked back, exasperated.

“Okay, Dick, clearly you have some strong feelings about this,” Duke said. “You wanna tell us why he didn’t use the cave equipment?”

“He,” Dick stressed, “was too tired to remember the entry code.”

“That’s legit,” Duke said with a shrug. “Bruce’s codes are crazy complicated. He could just put your birthday like a normal person.”

“If he was a normal person, he wouldn’t be Bruce or Batman.”

“Alright, nerds,” Jason declared. “We put the stinking head in cryo and then bully Tim into taking a day off, how’s that sound?”

“Sounds like we’ve got a POA,” Dick said. “Someone’s going to need to keep working on the head case, if we want to convince him.”

“Are we really going to call it the head case?” Jason asked.

“I’ve got the time,” Duke said.

“Thank you, Duke,” Dick said pointedly, then sighed again. “Okay. Let’s remove the severed head from the fridge. Why not. These are our lives, everyone.”

(Send me prompts!)

#my writing #dc #dc comics #batman #batman comics #batman and robin #batman and robin comics #dick grayson #jason todd #duke thomas #nightwing #red hood #the signal #IM REALLY SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG #there was supposed to be another bit about dick and jason talking about it after but #then it was gonna be a whole thing and I would never finish #and I feel like this doesn't have enough duke in it

65 notes · View notes

scornedlove · 5 years

Text

Chapter Eighteen

ROBYN

Please don’t let me regret this I thought to myself as I hopped out of the backseat. I was able to talk Rayven into going straight from the hospital to rehab and after a long sixty days, she was finally released.

Her mom stayed long enough to know she was still alive and curse her out, then she went back to BIM. She did try to talk Rayven into going home, but thankfully it didn’t work. Rayven knew she needed help and she would just go right back to her old habits if she went home. She was ready for change and that made me hopeful.

“My house is your house” I announced setting down the small bag that contained everything she owned.

“This is nice” she said quickly scanning the room, as Ollie and Pepe came running from the back.

“You guys wanna go out?” I asked opening the kitchen door, so they could zip past.

“I didn’t know you had two dogs” Rayven said as she watched them play. She was suffering from short-term memory loss, but the doctor said it was possible some things will eventually come back to her. “It’s great that Ollie has a friend now”

“Yeah, they love each other” I smiled, watching them act crazy. “Come on, let me show you your room”

“Thanks for helping me. I know you went out on a limb for me by bringing me here and giving me a job. I’m sorry for quitting on you when you needed me the most”

“Are you serious? We’re family, we have to stick together” I replied giving her a hug. “You know what Gran say; water does run, but blood does clot”

“So, no hard feelings? I know it’s been some time, but for me it feels fresh”

“Ray we’re good. Now go take a shower. I went and got you some necessities, they’re in that drawer over there, and I took the day off so it’s just you and me today. Pizza is on the way. I’ll be downstairs if you need me”

As soon as I hit the bottom stair, the doorbell rang. That was quick I thought to myself as I ran and grabbed a twenty out of my purse. “What are you doing here?” I asked opening the door with an attitude.

“Well, it’s good to see you too babe” Dre replied with sarcasm lacing his tone. I hate it when people show up to my place unannounced, so I stood there with my arms folded across my chest, unamused.

“You gonna let me in?”

“Not before you tell me what you’re doing here”

“Hey Rob, do you have any razors?” Rayven yelled, jogging down the stairs. “Oh, hi. Sorry, I didn’t realize you had company.”

“I don’t. They’re under the sink, in the very back” I replied, waving her away.

“So, you’re really gonna leave me standing here?” He asked, now irritated with me.

“Yes, until you tell me why you’re popping up unannounced”

“I just wanted to see you babe. You know you like having me around” he teased.

“I do enjoy you. I just really don’t want us moving too fast.” I replied. He was right, I couldn’t deny that I love having him around. It felt good having his conversation, cuddling, and the sex was addicting, but I didn’t like to not be in control, and him coming over unannounced was out of my control.

“Really Robyn? You don’t have to keep saying that. I get it” he stressed, obviously irritated. That's the only time he calls me by my first name.

“Well I’m busy, and I told you I was going to be busy today. You can’t just pop up at my house, and how do you even know where I live?”

“What’s up with you lately? I’ve done nothing, but treat you like a queen. I drop what I’m doing when you call. I let you ride my dick when and how you want, and give you anything you ask for at the drop of a dime, but it’s a problem if I know where you live?” he frowned.

“I’m just saying, if you think showing up here unannounced is okay-”

“-You know what, I’m out. Just hit me up at your convenience since that’s what this is.” he turned to walk off so abruptly, he startled me.

“Wait” I called out and he paused just as he got to his car. “Stay.... please.”

“I don’t like feeling like a bug-a-boo.” he admitted. We had been sitting on the patio in silence for the past half hour. Him smoking a cigar, while I smoked a blunt.

“It’s not even like that” I sighed as the wind whipped through my hair. The sun was slowly going down, leaving a beautiful gold and blue across the sky, and I couldn’t help but to focus on it. I could feel Dre’s gaze on me, but I couldn’t look at him.

“What is it like then Anna? Because you’re constantly sending me different signals. I can’t keep up. One minute I feel like my best friend is in front of me, the next minute it’s some bitchy chick with a slick mouth. Just tell me what’s going on with you” he begged, putting his cigar out and grabbed my exposed thigh with the same hand.

“I lost my son” I choked out, trying to hold in my tears. “Tomorrow will make it one year”

“I’m so sorry” he replied, immediately pulling me into a tight embrace. “Now I feel like a jack ass. I should’ve realized that’s what was going on, especially with the nightmares you’ve been having lately. What can I do? I just want to help.”

“I don’t mean to be selfish, but I just need time. I know you drop everything for me at any given time. I’ve always appreciated that about you, but this is personal and I have to get through it alone” I replied, finally making eye contact with him. His face was hopeless, with his brows furrowed and his glare intense.

“I just want you to get through this. I’ll fall back and give you some space. Whatever it takes.” he agreed, releasing me and kissing my forehead. “You know all you gotta do is call, and I’m there”

As soon as he pulled off, the waterworks began. I was good at holding shit in, but as soon as I let a little out, everything always resurfaced at once. Ollie noticed me crying, and immediately came running and hopped in my lap.

“He really loves his mama” Rayven’s voice startled me from behind. I wiped my face and tried to pull myself together, not wanting her to see me like this. She still didn’t know everything, and I wasn’t interested in catching her up to speed right now.

“Who was that guy?” Rayven asked curiously, taking a seat where Dre was just sitting, as she smacked on a slice of cheese pizza.

“My friend Dre” I replied, leaving it at that.

“Oh. I knew he seemed familiar.” she mumbled between bites.

“Yeah, he used to come to the store a lot. I’m sure that’s where you saw him”. I replied, hoping to help her memory. I thought she remembered for a second, but figured she didn’t when her facial expression lit up for a second, but then dropped.

“Is he the reason you left Chris at the altar?” She asked bluntly.

“No. Of course not!” I replied a little offended. I wasn’t really sure of what she was remembering but now I was curious. “Why would you think that?”

“I really don’t know how you’re going to feel about what I’m about to say, but I want to be honest with you. Seeing his face triggered something, because now I remember Chris paying me to keep an eye on you two”

“What?” I asked completely shocked. I knew Chris was insecure when it came to Dre, but I didn’t think he would take it that far.

“I mean everything is fuzzy, but bits and pieces are coming back. Please don’t hate me for this” she paused and turned away from me. She was looking out at the beach but her focus was clearly on something in her mind. She appeared to be looking for the right words.

“I remember having sex with Chris. You left him in front of everyone y'all knew, that really fucked him up, and I’ve never seen a man so depressed” she admitted quietly. The way she low key put the blame on me hurt my feelings a little. I wanted to plead my case, but at the same time, none of that even mattered anymore.

“Anyway, I convinced myself that you wouldn’t care since you left him, but when he called me Robyn, I knew it was wrong” she turned towards me and I looked away. “He really loved the shit out of you, and I love you Robyn. I’m sorry I betrayed your trust. This whole past couple of months has been a real eye opener for me. No one has been there for me like you have, and I wish I didn’t do what I’ve done. Can you forgive me for every way I’ve hurt you in the past?”

I was holding in so much emotion I couldn’t speak, or it all would’ve come out at once. Besides, I really didn’t know what to say, so all I did was nod. We stayed in silence for awhile, while I paced my breathing to calm myself down.

“I forgive you, but as for being able to trust you again, we just gotta take it one day at a time” I stated, breaking the silence. “This is a lot. Everything that’s happened in the past year is a lot, and I wish I could just snap my fingers and forget, but I can’t. So I’m working on it, one day at a time”

That night, I laid in bed, but couldn’t fall asleep. My mind was racing, not only because of the conversation I had with Rayven, but it was officially the day I lost Christian. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think about him. I hadn’t been to his grave site since we buried him, maybe that’s why I couldn’t find peace. I decided in the morning I would get up and make that trip.

CHRIS

“Everything is perfect mom. Relax” I stated as she paced the living room, waiting for Taylor. She had cooked enough for a party and even baked a triple layer chocolate cake, so that this dinner could be perfect for him.

“I’m just nervous. I can’t sit still” she explained, smoothing out her dress and taking a couple of deep breaths, as the doorbell rang.

“I got it” I quickly jumped up before she could protest. When I opened the door, it was like looking in a mirror and seeing a younger version of myself. “You must be Taylor”

"And you must be Chris, it’s nice to meet you” he replied, shaking my hand.

“You’re here” mama applauded with the biggest grin on her face.

“Hi Ms. Joyce” he smiled, reaching in for a hug.

“Hi angel. I’m so glad you came; I see you met your big brother Chris.” Mama began to get teary eyed, looking at him, then me.

“Yes ma'am, I can’t believe I really have a big brother” Taylor grinned excitedly. “I’ve always wanted a brother”

“Really? Because I’ve always enjoyed being an only child” I replied, not realizing how rude it came out until mama popped me on the back of the head. “Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that”

“Naw, I get it. I was spoiled like crazy growing up, I know what you mean” he laughed.

“Hi. I’m Tae” Lashontae smiled, with a small wave. “I’m Chris’ friend”

“Girlfriend?” Taylor asked, looking from her to me.

“Friend” we both replied in unison.

“Well its nice to meet you too” he nodded in her direction.

We got the pleasantries out of the way and really got to know each other over fried chicken, mashed potatoes, macaroni and cheese, corn on the cob, and dinner rolls. Even though he was given up right after birth, it seemed he got the lucky draw. He was adopted by a single thirty-year-old woman who couldn’t conceive. She was the CEO of a chain of hotels and too busy for a man anyway. She never hid the adoption from Taylor, but he never had any interest in looking for his biological family until she passed away.

“Mama had everything, but nobody. She was an only child and her parents passed away in a fire when she was twenty-eight, all we had was each other. We were constantly traveling, so nowhere really felt like home until I lived on campus at UCLA. I finished my bachelor’s last year, so I’ve been here five years now” he explained.

“Damn, you already have your bachelor’s? Congratulations, because I was done after high school. That was enough for me. I thank God every day that I found my calling in hair” Tae joked and we all laughed.

“Yeah, I finished early, but I was home schooled, and that one on one really allows you to move at your own speed. I got my high school diploma at fourteen years old, and started my own company at twenty. Mama groomed me to take over what she started, but my passion is for fitness. She stood by my side when I opened my gym, which hasn’t been very successful thus far, but she still left her business to me”

“Well that’s the beauty of it, angel. She wanted to make sure you had something to fall back on” Mama smiled.

“Yeah. She really made me feel special, like I could do anything” he reminisced.

“I have prayed for you every day of my life. I’m so glad God blessed you with a wonderful mother. I just wish I had the chance to thank her for taking care of my baby”

“Knowing I have family is enough. I set out to find you before my twenty-first birthday and I did.”

“Speaking of birthdays, Chris is hosting a charity event on his birthday this weekend. Right?” Mama asked, turning all eyes on me.

“Your birthday is this weekend?!” Tae shrieked. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I don’t like to make a big deal about my birthday” I shrugged. “But I did tell you about the charity event, that’s the weekend you couldn’t get off work.” I reminded her.

“That’s right, I’m fully booked this weekend and there’s no way around it” she frowned.

“It’s going to be a lot of fun. We’re playing kickball, having a cook out, and all the proceeds will be going to charity. You’re welcome to come and invite as many people as you like. We want this to be big” I explained as I wolfed down the last of my food.

“Count me in. I’m always down for sports, charity is the bonus” Taylor added.

We hung out for the rest of the evening, filling each other in about our lives. We left mom’s and went to my place, where I introduced him to Anthony and Ryan. We had a blast playing 2K13, while the ladies talked hair and makeup and played with Diamond. We didn’t have much in common, but he was still pretty cool. I was nervous before meeting him, but he fit in so naturally, it didn’t even feel like we just met.

The next morning, I was up at the crack of dawn because Tae had a six o clock flight, which ended up being delayed. She was frustrated because she had to go straight to work after she landed, and now she had to rearrange her entire schedule for the day.

“Well, at least that means I get a little while longer with you” I nudged her hoping for a smile.

“Yeah, but he is not going to understand” she huffed with a frown as she sat down in one of the uncomfortable, hard chairs.

“Who?” I asked confused.

“Oh, um... my first client. Can you do me a favor please? I really need a coffee or tea” she shifted, faking a smile. “I’m going to make a few calls and push these appointments back.”

“Yeah, I got you” I nodded. “I’ll be right back”

After twenty minutes of pushing through the crowd and eventually finding a Starbucks, I was on on my way back to Tae with a caramel macchiato and a sausage, cheddar, and egg biscuit for the both of us.

The airport was packed, but I had a clear vantage point of Tae and she was still on the phone. She was laughing and the way her face lit up made me wonder who she was talking to. She was completely engrossed in her conversation and didn’t notice the guy sitting a couple of seats away, checking her out. That is, until she hung up, and he approached her. I tried to quicken my pace, but ended up bumping into a pregnant lady and dropping one of the drinks I just bought.

“I’m so sorry!” I quickly apologized picking up the cup and tossing it in the closest trash can.

“Thank God it only got the floor” the woman exclaimed without stopping. Thankfully, a janitor saw the incident and immediately jumped into action.

“I got it. Don’t worry about it” he waved me about as he started to put cones around the area.

By the time I made it to Tae, the guy was walking off and she was slipping her phone in her purse.

“Thank you soooo much. I really needed this” she beamed, before taking a sip of the drink.

“I saw that guy staring you down, before he came to talk to you. What did he want?” I asked, handing her a sandwich and taking a bite out of my own.

“My number” she replied nonchalantly.

“Well did he get it?” I asked, hoping her answer would be no. I really liked her and wasn’t entertaining anything with anyone else, so I could only hope we were on the same page.

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” she chuckled, leaving me in the dark. I didn’t see anything funny, so I stared at her patiently and waited for her laugh to subside.

“I want you to know I really like you Tae. I’m not talking to any other females, because I want to see where this goes” I admitted and her demeanor changed.

“I like you too Chris, but we aren’t in a relationship. I don’t think it should be a problem if I want to give my number out” she shrugged. “You always make it clear that we’re just friends. So, what’s the big deal?”

“So, what do I have to do then? Do you want to make it official? I’m down, if that’s what it takes. I don’t need anybody getting in the way of what we got going on.” I blurted, before I even knew what I was saying. It’s true we’ve been taking it slow, but I don’t want to move so slow that someone else slides in and I find myself permanently in the friend zone.

“Are you serious? You sure you’re ready for that?” she asked, drawing her brows together as she looked me in the eye.

“If you’re ready, I’m ready. You’re a good woman, I can’t let you slip through my fingers” I admitted, just as her flight announced it was time to board.

“Well it’s official then. You’re mine” she smiled before leaning in for a kiss and pressing her body against mine. We stayed there for what seemed like forever. My hands roamed up and down her backside and our tongues danced until the speaker announced last call for her flight.

I was so engrossed in my thoughts on the way home, that I didn’t realize the route I was taking until I was driving by the cemetery Christian was buried at. I hadn’t been to his grave site since the funeral, so I decided to stop.

Today marked a year since he died, but somehow, I remembered exactly where he was buried. His tombstone wasn’t hard to find. It was shaped like a rocking horse, so it stood out from the rest.

“If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever. Christian Mattias Brown” I read the tombstone aloud, feeling an indescribable pain with every word.

“Forever pure“ a familiar voice finished reading the rest. For a moment I thought I was tripping, but when I turned around, I was face to face with Robyn.

#robyn rihanna fenty #chris brown #ff #fanfic #fanfiction #Chrianna

5 notes · View notes

kdenbibi · 6 years

Text

Endless Chapter 5

Damian Wayne x Reader (x various)

Summary:Some questions are answered, some questions arise.

Warnings: Slight language, war flashbacks to Discowing

Authors Note: Yeet, hope ya like it

Tag List: @mirajanestrauss1999

I walked into the small coffee shop, shaking the snow from my beanie as I trudged towards the very back, my long winter jacket fluttered from the speed I was walking, I silently thanked the Lord they had the heater blasting in here.I peeled off the coat, tossing it in the empty booth in the back I'd been instructed to snag. I tried my best not to let my nerves show, although to be fair I was meeting a complete stranger all by my lonesome, unfortunately Jon got an urgent call and had to bail, he seemed pretty hesitant to leave but after some reassurance that I'd be okay he dipped. Seconds felt like hours as I waited for the guy to show, my fingers drummed down on the worn down surface to the beat of the Christmas song softly drifting throughout the shop. The cheery atmosphere did nothing to quell the anxiety in my stomach, if the smell of cinnamon in the air and overall warmth the cafe provided couldn't help, then yeah I was definitely nervous. I tugged off my knit beanie, and attempted to smooth out the serious case of hat hair I had going on, thankfully, I braided my hair earlier so the loose curls sticking out looked on purpose, my fingers, now bored with the drumming, toyed with the ends of braid as a means of distraction. I felt my eye wander from the homely decorations hung up and around the walls, to watching the world go by through the window. I took in the sight, the snow had finally started to come down in Gotham so people were bundled up almost comically, and despite it being below 40° outside, they went about their lives as usual, whenever new folks paid our city a visit, they were always perplexed at Gothamites abilities to ignore the freezing temperatures. I have to admit as sweet as the snow falling was to watch, hands down my favorite thing about this time of year was the city's tradition to string up what looked to be a million Christmas lights above and through downtown, making the usual dim, dark, nights much brighter. I was so in my thoughts I jumped at the sudden body very casually-and very loudly I might add- sliding into the booth across from me, I ended up slamming my knees into the table so hard the salt and pepper shakers knocked over. I whispered a curse under my breath as I rubbed at my newly bruised knee, and before I could roast the unwanted stranger, my head snapped up to see a familiar grin. "Yikes- that sounded like it hurt, you okay kid?" "Besides needing new kneecaps? Yeah just peachy - thanks for asking strange grown man." Said random man gave a warm laugh at my response, I took in his appearance, trying to gage if he was a threat or not, I could tell even sitting down the guy had a few good inches on me, he was wrapped in a brown bomber jacket, underneath was a crisp white shirt just asking to be stained by the grease that came with living here. He simply smiled while I analysed him, familiarity pinged in my head once I laid eyes on him grin. I scanned over his facial features, trying my damnedest to figure out where the hell I knew him from, his eyes were almost the same shade of electrifying blue as Jon's, his hair fell in tufts of black waves, the few scattered snowflakes atop the waves made the black stand out even more.

All I got from my mini evaluation was this guy was hot, but I wasn't about to lower my defenses because of it.

He broke the silence before I could, suddenly looking confused as he glanced around the building. "Hey I thought you were gonna bring a friend? Or are they just hiding out in a vent waiting to ambush me if things go bad?" He joked, and just like that I remembered why I was even here. "Holy shit you're Ni- you're here." He nodded, the goofy grin ever present.My voice cracked mid sentence, I managed to stop myself from basically screaming 'Well butter my biscuits it's Nightwing! In the flesh!' and cleared my throat trying not to show the heat of embarrassment steadily creeping up my neck. "He uh- had to cancel actually, but don't worry I have a plan in case you turn out to be a weirdo." He laughed again, not taking any offense to my sort of threat. "Smart girl." He leaned back against the booth, thumbing through the menu like we were just two buddies catching up over coffee."I wonder if they serve any food, I'm starving.” He waved over the waitress grabbing himself a coffee, "Want something?" I responded still staring at the man confusion plastered across my face."Coco please." After a few moments of silence he spoke, clearly amused.

"You okay over there?"

"What no, wait I mean yeah why- why wouldn't I be." I internally cringed at my answer, he gave me a look which said he didn't but it, but the conversation dropped there.He filled the time spent waiting for our orders with casual stories about his day job as a police officer and how crazy it could be."Moral of the story, don't try to drive after your eyes have been dilated." I nodded, still, if not more nervous than I was earlier, a part of me felt like I should have been taking notes, he sighed into his palm, a smaller smile on his lips. "What is it? Do I have something on my face?" He picked up the dingy napkin dispenser, attempting to look at himself in the just barely reflective surface. I couldn't help the snort from escaping my mouth. "Nah I'm just trying to wrap my head around," I gestured to him with a wave of my hand. "- all this." He put down the dispenser with a smile. "It's pretty weird huh?" "Just a little." I laughed out pinching my fingers together. "I mean you're so - normal." Just then the waitress brought us our orders,He laughed into the coffee mug, taking a long sip before responding. "Well what did you think we did all day, work on our outfits and plan witty comebacks?" I paused before nodding. He sighed, rubbing his temple, "I can't speak for everyone but I happen to be a very normal guy- mostly." "Well 'normal guy' I gotta get your name cuz’ I'm running out of things to call you." He stuck out his hand,"Richard Grayson at your service, but my friends call me Dick." I took his outstretched palm with a firm shake. "Those don't sound like very good friends,” I joked “ I'm (Y/n) (L/n)." After half my drink was gone and the atmosphere was much lighter than earlier, a question popped up in my mind. "Let me ask you a question Dick." "Shoot." "Why'd you come here- you know, out of your whole 'sparkly' get up." He squinted at me, wiping his face before pointing a finger at my face. "First of all it is not 'sparkly', and let me tell you I know sparkly, one version of the costume had a very, very deep v-neck, I'm talking uncomfortable to look at deep, trust me this is an upgrade." I laughed, nearly chocking on my drink as I pictured him in the world's deepest v-neck, I wiped at my mouth with the back of my sleeve, the nerves finally leaving once I realized he was really just a normal dude.

Well a normal dude who kicks ass in tights at night but that's besides the point.

"Okay well that still doesn't tell me why you showed up all not-clad-in-skin-tight-kevlar. Aren't secret identities kind a big deal for y'all spandex junkies?" "Well yeah, but like I said before, you're a good kid, so I'm not all that worried." He leaned forward, a hopeful smile on his face. "Besides, there's gotta be trust between the people you work with- if you'd like to join us spandex junkies that is." I smiled at the man, a new wave of warmth spread through me as he spoke, I mentally paused, searching for any kind of hesitancy from my gut but all I got was a 50/50 ratio of nerves and excitement. "I'm listening, although I can't promise I'll squeeze myself into anything uncomfortable, even if it looks good." "Duly noted." He laughed. We spent the next hour shooting questions back and forth, most of his were unsurprisingly about what I could and could not do.

Mine were mostly about the tights.

By now the sun had set but there were still plenty of people walking about, apparently the threat of crime wasn't about to deter their Christmas shopping. "So what made you change your mind? About calling me that is?" He asked pulling me from my thoughts. I pulled on the sleeves of my shirt out of habit. "Something happened at the bank the other day-" "Wait, that mysterious hero was you?" "Yes and no," I gave a dry laugh "-anyway something..uh new happened with my powers and I figured if anyone could help me it be a dude who spends all his time around other people like me, can't exactly learn about this in chemistry class ya know?" He nodded with a warm smile, before his face shifted into something more of determination, "Look, I'll be honest here, personally I can't relate to the whole 'ooky spooky abilities' deal but I know a few people who do, and we'd all be willing to help." I gave him a soft smile, a warm feeling of appreciation swelled in my chest. "Thank you- I mean it really, I have no idea where it comes from- or what the full extent of it is." I huffed leaning back into the seat. "It sure be nice not to worry about it any more." "Again, like I said, it's kind of our job to help and protect. So it's not a problem kiddo."

This felt like a moment from those sappy films where the older sibling figure ruffles the younger ones hair affectionately, but it wasn't.

Because if he tried it, I'd stab his hand with my fork out of reflex.

"So what's the plan here, am I gonna meet up with you in your secret lair and practice?" He chuckled out a no before continuing. "Not exactly, I'll have to finalize things with the big guy and when everything's ready we'll come to you." "Big guy?" He looked at me questioningly, a small smirk curling on his lips, waiting for me to come to my own conclusion. "Oh shit you mean Batman oh. OH." He shushed me with a laugh looking around at the other patrons before turning back to me. "Don't worry he's not at scary as everyone thinks." "Are you shitting me? Hell no." I shook my head with an uneasy laugh."He's on the Babadooks level- He's on that Freddy .vs. Jason level of scary." He barked out a laugh before pulling out the money to cover our bills. "Trust me kid, you'll do fine." "What if he doesn't like me? What if I don't make the cut and he throws me out a six story window?"

"That's oddly specific and-" he looked around for the sake of dramatics and whispered. "You didn't hear this from me, but if it'll make you feel better, you won't be dealing with him much." "Wait- who will I be dealing with then?" He winced out a small laugh, rubbing the back of his neck."See now I really can't tell you that."I pouted at the older man,"Dude! You said it yourself, there should be trust between people working together, don't contradict yourself Richard." I spoke with grin. "Damnit you got me there." He snapped his fingers together before leaning in "Okay but I'm only telling you because I think you deserve a warning." My brows shot up in concern at that. "Why would I need a warning exactly?" "Well, you remember that kid I had to stop from turning you to mincemeat?" "Yeah sure, I remember the goblin." He said nothing else, calmly sipping his mug, eyes cast away from me, making me realize exactly who he meant. "Shit."

Damian POV

I easily dodged Jon's incoming fist, his stance was wrong and his punches were sloppy, he was distracted by something. I used this to land a firm kick to the back of his exposed knee, bringing him down with a wince worthy thud.My heel pressed into the center of his back as I leaned down to the struggling teenager, the pressure increased on his back the lower I went. After realizing he wasn't getting up any time soon he tapped on the mat twice, signaling his defeat. "You're terrible at this you know." I offered him a hand after he managed to roll onto his back, he scoffed at me but took my offer, pulling himself into a standing position."Well yeah, thats the whole point of you training me." He rolled his shoulders before setting his feet in the proper position. He motioned at me to come at him, I simply walked towards the nearest bench and took a seat. "Aw come on Damian! You told me to come home and train but you won't even-" "You are distracted, in a real fight that would kill you." I spoke before taking a short sip from my water bottle. "Sort yourself out Jonathan." I watched the boy from the corner of my eye, his face was furrowed in frustration, I could tell he was losing his cool, it brought a smirk to my face. "I'm not distracted-" "You and I both know I'm not wrong, so talk, spew your problems like some prepubescent child, if it'll get your mind in the game."He sighed plopping down to sit on the slightly worn down mat, "I'm just a little worried about (y/n)-" "Why is there an update?" I spoke up interrupting him. He shook his head no. "Besides what happened at the bank? Nothing, I would have told you." He spoke that last line with a hint of bitterness, when I first told him to get intel on the girl, he was completely against the idea. My mind flashed to that first initial morning where they walked off together, a plan had came to my head to get the information I needed without doing much of anything. As the week progressed, I'd ask the Kryptonian if anything interesting happened with her, hoping she'd share with the boy, but unfortunately for me, he began to catch on. "Damian, can I ask you something?" "You just did but fine, go ahead." We sat at our usual lunch table, the everyday chaos of high school chatter blended our conversation into the background. "Why are you so curious about (y/n)?" I looked up from my book to meet his suspicious gaze."Is it wrong to be curious, Kent?" His leaned into his hand, the puzzlement in his eyes never faltering."No there's nothing wrong with that! its just, you don't really take interest in, well anything." I stared at him unimpressed. "No offense! I meant normal teenage stuff, like I only ever see you talk to a few people here, and whenever we talk it's about her." I won't lie, his intellect surprised me, but I didn't let it show. "She's seems like a nice person is all." I watched as his suspicion fell and the smile on his face grow into something mischievous. "So would you say she'd make a good friend?" My face scrunched in confusion."What?- sure yes if it'll shut you up." And with that he suddenly rose before making his way across the cafeteria, to my dismay he came back with the girl in question. (Y/n) looked between us, clearly just as confused as I was."Are you gonna tell me what was so urgent or keep me standing here like boo boo the fool?" "Damian wanted to know if you would sit with us for lunch!" Our eyes met, her's skeptical, mines more surprised than angry that the little shit had it in him to do this. I realized she was waiting for my confirmation, obviously not buying what Jon said. "If you want." I spoke after clearing my throat. An uneasy smile made it's way on her face before she sat down across from me, Jon took the seat next to her."Uh thanks? I mean this is uhm, nice of you and all but why?" Jon spoke for me. "Well we were just talking about how Damian here doesn't have many friends-" I kicked his shin hard under the table, but it only hurt my foot, I held back a wince and the urge to rub my now pulsing appendage. 'Boy of steel, right, I forgot.' Jon looked to me with a smirk before continuing."-and I was telling him all about how you're so nice and cool and yeah, here we are." She looked at me with a smirk stretched across her full lips, a perfectly arched brow rose in question, "That's surprising, who wouldn't wanna be friends with someone as charming and kindhearted as pretty boy over here?" The sarcasm was practically dripping from her voice.Jon, either too oblivious to notice or too excited to care, ignored this. "Great to hear! Well how was everyone's day?" Neither of us answered too busy in a stare off, I tried to analyze her, and she stared right back, refusing to step down from this unspoken glare contest. Jon interrupted us with a cough. "Well my day was great thanks for asking." She turned away to look at the taller boy, her expression much more friendly than the look she gave me. "Sorry, his whole 'children of the corn' thing going on is pretty distracting." she pointed her thumb back motioning to me, "-what'd you do today anyway?" He went on to list all the miniscule things he achieved before lunch. I half listened to their conversation, mostly focused on the novel I had, occasionally chiming in whenever I felt it necessary. Just like that the lunch period was over, and it was time to head back to reality.(Y/n) looked to me before she left, a half smile on her face, I was surprised it was directed at me and not the younger boy by my side. "You're not so bad Wayne, when you aren't talking that is." I smirked at the girl, slapping my novel shut with one hand."I'll admit, the brief moments your mouth was shut were rather nice." She laughed off my insult with a wave of her hand, before returning to her group to finish their day.

When the school day crawled to an end, and I was driving Jon and myself back to the manor, it occurred to me the boy in my passenger seat wasn't one to be easily fooled, it also occurred he may already know of her abilities and is acting stupid to throw off my questioning. I decided to sidestep all the bullshit of my original plan and straight out ask him. "Let's not beat around the bush Jonathan, has (y/n) told you anything strange about herself?" He snapped his head up, away from his phone to stare at me. "Pardon me?" I rolled my eyes at his act. "You know? Her powers, what has she told you of them?" "She has powers?" He practically screamed, I resisted the urge to slam the car into the traffic surrounding me and took a deep breath. "I'd appreciate it if you refrained from screaming like a banshee in my car." I spoke with a roll of my eyes, god the more time I spent with this kid the more I saw the inside of my head."You can drop the act, I know of her powers already." "I didn't!" He yelled, deflating in his seat."You're kidding me right?" He didn't answer."I'll take that as a no then, TT." He groaned tossing his hands up in the air, clearly distraught. The rest of the car ride was silent, him no doubt letting the information sink in. It wasn't until days later did we speak again, after he returned home rather late, looking like he'd been kicked down a flight of stairs. I sipped at the tea steaming in my cup as he sat down at the table, rubbing at his neck, exhaustion clear in his body language. "What's up with you?" His tired eyes lifted to meet mine. He hesitated before speaking, having some sort of internal debate on whether or not to tell me. "Something happened today, something with (y/n)." He gave me a very rough explanation, not wanting to delve into the details too much, before trying to head up to bed, I grabbed his arm stopping him in his tracks. "You saw what happened today, it could get worse if she doesn't get help, but she won't listen to me, so you have to do it." "What- me? I don't even know what you're saying." I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at the kid before speaking again. "You're her friend, it should be easy to get some information about the extent of her abilities and bring it back to me." He scoffed at me, "I wouldn't deceive her like that- I wouldn't deceive anyone like that!" "You wouldn't be deceiving anyone, you'd simply be using your friendship to gain information for the greater good." I responded with a shrug."It would feel wrong, I don't wanna use her." "No one said you'd use her, you can still keep up that happy go lucky friendship shit once you tell me what I need." "That's not how friendships work." He chewed on the nail of his thumb, deep in thought. I continued, placing a hand on his shoulder. "As a hero, it's your responsibility to protect the public from any threats, or any potential threats." I used my Robin voice, the tone I used to talk to civilians, commanding but nonthreatening, trying to get it through his thick head."She's not a threat." He looked conflicted as he spoke. "Any unregistered meta is a threat, hell me and you both are threats. Power in the wrong hands is never a good thing." "Well it's not in the wrong hands, she saved those people today!-" "Prove it to me, show me she's not a threat and I'll drop it." We stared at one another in silence before he nodded, a fire in his eyes.

"Deal."

I was brought back to the present when he moved to stand, stretching out his body."I think I'm good now, you ready for round two?" I placed the water bottle down before rising, I walked until I was an arms reach away from him, "Let's see if Kryptonian's are all their hyped up to be."

After a good two hours of sparring (aka me tossing him on his ass in many different ways) and getting an idea of what he could do and handle, we called it a day. We made our way up from the cave, into the empty kitchen, he grabbed two water bottles from the fridge, tossing one to me before sitting down at the table.I nodded as thanks and pressed the cold bottle against my warm skin, sure the kid couldn't fight for shit but he was resilient as hell. I leaned against the counter, the cold of the marble bringing some relief to my overheated body. "What had you so worked up earlier anyway?" I asked breaking the silence that had fallen over us as we tried to catch our breaths. He finished patting his face with a towel before speaking."Oh it's nothing serious, I was supposed to go with her to meet someone but she texted me everything's going smoothly." "Why would she need you there?"

Thankfully he learned early on not to take my bluntness to heart, so he replied with a smile.

"I mean who wants to meet some hardcore vigilante all by themselves?" My head snapped up so fast it startled the younger boy. "She's doing what?" He grimaced at me, a nervous smile on his lips. "Meeting up with a vigilante to discuss her powers?" He spoke as more of a question than an actual answer.I felt the urge to slam my hand to my forehead, or alternatively his head into the cabinet. "It just occurred to you to share this with me now?"

My voice was rising, I couldn't believe the amount of stupidity bottled up into one human. "Hey in my defense I thought you knew! I mean it is Nightwing, you guys are cool right? You have nothing to worry about!." His eyes shifted from me to the doorway, as he inched towards it, his voice had gone up a few good octaves in fear. He held up his hands like he expected me to throw something his way, a good chunk of me thought that wouldn't be a bad idea. I paused, racking my brain for answers to all the questions I had, why would Dick go see her? Why didn't I know about it? Why was I not strangling Jon right now? So many questions with no answers. I looked up to ask him for any other withheld information only to see his body quickly disappearing down the hallway.

"I'm sorry I'm running but you're way too freaky to be around when you're mad!" He yelled over his shoulder, it echoed throughout the hallway. I had now two options, call Dick, demand an explanation and hope he'll give it to me, or take my anger out on my housemate and then call dick.

Option two sounded much more fun, and besides, a quick throw off the balcony would test his flight skills.

#Dc imagine #dc reader insert #dc x reader #dc #poc reader #poc reader insert #damian wayne x reader #damian wayne #damian wayne imagine #jon kent #jon kent imagine #jon kent x reader #nightwing #dick grayson #Endless #nightwing x reader #various x reader #x reader #reader insert

79 notes · View notes

insecure-hbo-the-recaps · 6 years

Text

hella blows

Previously on Insecure: Issa is cool with Daniel, but he knows what it is. She’s all about her hoe-tation. Molly’s dad cheated on Molly’s mom which made her feel stupid enough to sleep with Dro. Issa wanted to make sure Daniel knew they were both seeing other people.

Issa’s alarm goes off and at first it looks like she’s beyond late for work. But it’s something even worse than that: she has to get up to move her car out of designated parking to a free side of the street before she gets a ticket or tow. Ikr? About 65% of the reason I want to move out of my current neighborhood even though it’s a huge hassle. “Ay! Your bumper bout to fall off,” some idiot points out obliviously. “Thanks!” Issa trills in a curt “no duh” kind of way.

Molly is working late. Dro calls and she hesitates before answering, clearly not looking forward to it. She thinks they’re going to have a serious conversation but of course he is just calling to shoot the shit. I feel like probably unfairly this paints Dro as suspect? Who fucks their lifelong friend while in an open marriage and then calls like nothing is different? I get the counterargument that that may be WHY he would call and act like nothing is different. But I don’t trust these fools.

Molly gets a call on the other line, and tells Dro she has to go because it’s her mom. But rather than brace herself for the sure emotional baggage that would come from that, Molly actually doesn’t answer, and just sits there thinking about what a mess her life is. She and Dro apparently have plans to see each other the next day, which is ostensibly the real reason why he called.

Shout out to Issa’s superfluously woke outerwear. She’s wearing that sweatshirt with a somewhat less than casual long skirt by the way. She has no car, so she has to take the bus. She eyes some latino kid as though she recognizes him. He regards her awkwardly as if he recognizes her too. She slides Daniel a potential come thru text and heads into her apartment, bored and restless. She has an email for somethin called a “Sexplosion,” which is appealing to her in this moment of drudgery. She bored.

Deciding this particular boredom is not something she can merely abide, Issa figures maybe she’ll stop in on Neighbor Bae. Her bathroom freshen up routine consists of mouthwash and an aggressive verbal affirmation seminar. She’s one hundred percent gasssed up.

She obliviously heads downstairs and knocks on Neighbor Bae’s door. He is surprised to see her, but he’s clearly pretending not to know whether or not he asked her over, which is polite. Issa assumes her dropping by should be welcomed, but Eddie has company. He makes needlessly polite excuses when honestly he didn’t have to because who the fuck is Issa? Mama gotta have a life too.

Although Issa has to vent via mirror freestyle (“I could cry right now I’m so embarrassed and mad, I hope you can’t get it up and that her pussy is trash”) I mean, come on. Be reasonable. You’re going to have to get a much thicker skin and a lot more comfortable with rejection if you’re going to try to be about that ho life. And you know what, it’s not for everyone. I had a friend who for some reason thought she was this perfect princess in her mind when really when she’d tell me stories I’d be looking at her like this is some random bitch who will do cocaine with strangers on a first date and then fuck them on the way home so why you think you deserve a doctor husband though? The answer to that question is that she was white and therefore delusional, but the overall point is that not everybody can brave the harsh landscape of being single and dating, and if you try to fake it you’ll just end up crying at bars when men ask you why you’re single (which also happened to this friend).

I really hate when I take accidental pauses like this one lol:

As Issa irritatedly deals with not getting the dick she psyched herself up for, she gets a double whammy of rejection when Daniel answers her come thru text that he’s busy. Issa is not feeling singleness at this moment. There’s an interlude with Baby Voiced Darius where he asks her, just randomly for no reason, if she’s going to Target. “Why would I be?” Issa snaps. I mean, it’s a fair question. I’m potentially going to Target 40% of the time in any random day.

In some other cool, quirky, millennial loft in Los Angeles, Lawrence is making some kind of pitch to a motley group of assembled coworkers. So now we finally get some details on the elusive Woot Woot: “it aggregates all of your data, where you shop, where you eat, where you drink, and it makes recommendations based on that.” Motherfucker how is this any different from all the bullshit Netflix keeps recommending me 67 times that I’m not going to watch, or how google is so Big Brother on us now that if I’m watching or listening to something and decide to look up part of it, it can autocomplete my search based on less than one word? I mean to say… technology been way able to do that for a long time, bruh. Everyone cheers and applauds and Lawrence, in a very ugly navy cardigan, grins big at what seems like praise and encouragement of his idea. And… this was the idea he’d been working on while unemployed for two years? AND WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH “WOOT WOOT”?!

Two guys that I’m going to assume are Lawrence’s superiors are giving him feedback. Bosses in the start up world look like this:

I’m glad I’m not inclined to this field because it’s honestly not something that I think I would be able to take seriously lol. They say it’s great and they loved the presentation. While their feedback sounds positive and Lawrence obviously thinks it’s a vote of confidence, if you listen closely they’re doing nothing but praising him individually and offering compliments to the fact that he is working hard and competently, not praising the viability of his work specifically. They make no comments whatsoever about the app being a good idea or potential product. Then, just to underscore the fact that they are Clueless White People, the fat guy asks Lawrence about his shoes, and calls them fly. I would take issue that at this point it seems like the show just makes fun of white people just to mock them and make white people as a whole unsympathetic but on the other hand… white people stay doing fake bonding shit like this when they don’t have to, so if they look bad, then, motherfuckers, stop doing the shit.

Where do you suppose Issa and Molly are? I’m at a loss as to whether this is a Chinese restaurant, a really shitty travel agency, or somewhere where you can get your eyebrows waxed for eight dollars. Molly is telling Issa she’s worried that she may have fucked up her friendship with Dro, and Issa points out that that wouldn’t be surprising considering that she fucked her friend. I think that it’s nice just a couple episodes ago Molly was having this talk with Issa, and now Issa’s having it with Molly.

It turns out they’re in a mechanic waiting room while Issa gets an estimate to fix her car. Molly opines that Dro is the only person/man who’s seen her at her worst so why would she go and complicate things this way? And the way I feel about that is… if you start fucking a married man you really can’t be thinking about any of this shit where he may potentially be a person that is anything other than a married man. Remind me again that at some point during this story line I take a complete break to tell y'all about how I was fucking a married man. The point is anyway that Molly is doing the most emotionally when you’d think it would be easy to understand that in a situation like this specifically you need to do your best to chill. Her current thought is to tell Dro she doesn’t want it to happen again when they hang out later that night.The mechanic comes back and tells Issa they’ll have to order parts to do the repairs (which duh she’s getting body work done) and it’ll be about 5500. Issa balks at that price tag.

Remember in the previous episode where Molly and Issa talked about a vacation? Molly still wants to go (listing a bunch of countries and islands that start with M, prompting Issa to chide annoyedly “there are other places with other letters”) seemingly oblivious to the fact that if Issa can’t afford to repair her car, she can’t afford to go on vacation. In hindsight, this show really put a LOT of effort into very deliberate continuity between episodes, for really small things.

Issa is frustrated because she had been doing really well with all her various life parts and now all of them seem to be scattering out abruptly. She’s still having trouble accepting that men she’s seeing casually aren’t just available for her whenever she wants them to be. Ok so… how are you saying you want Daniel to know to stay in his place, and you want Mexican Bae not to expect anything from you, but you want them to be willing to do whatever you want when you want it? Again: be reasonable sis. If you’re gonna dish it out then obviously you have to take it back too. Then she acknowledges sex with her is mediocre and, again, this is where she loses me. I don’t think I would ever describe sex with me as “acceptable” except on occasions when I know I am making no effort to leave an impression. Come on now. Half the dudes I got to stick around as adults - when sex is less of an issue and everyone has more baggage - is probably 80% because sex was the only draw. And I’m partially joking (clearly I have the delusionally high self esteem of a complete asshole and I like it that way), but seriously it’s something that you have to think about as you get older. The Panties Card gets flimsier and flimsier, until it is no longer a guaranteed bargaining chip to maintain someone’s attention which frankly was news to me.

Back at the super cool Los Angeles tech start up, Lawrence stops by Arpana’s desk and playfully asks her questions around what he should do with his impending takeover of the app world. Arpana makes this face:

Clearly she is clued into what Lawrence is not, which is that the presentation did not go as well as he thought it did. She tells him he should lower his expectations, because she doesn’t think Woot Woot is viable: it felt outdated. Speaking of delusional self esteem, Lawrence cooly replies that it’s fine if she doesn’t see the vision and who cares because she’s not the one greenlighting it anyway. As he gets up to leave, Arpana adds that clearly the bosses weren’t into it like they were some other app where they asked questions and dug through the pitch looking for flaws then scheduled a follow up. It slowly sinks in on Lawrence that maybe she has a point, but when she says “it’s like they didn’t want to offend you,” Lawrence puts his defenses back up and tells her that she’s entitled to her opinion. While I don’t approve of Lawrence’s childish blindspots, I do approve of his polite passive aggressive work rebuttals. (Professional environments love passive aggression.)

Laker bar. Molly shows up for her date with Dro, nervous about the speech she plans to drop. She awkwardly explains that she feels like things are different though objectively Dro’s behavior doesn’t seem in any way out of the ordinary. He tells her she’s being dramatic and to calm the fuck down. They playfully joke about french fries and apparently that’s all it took to defuse the tension.

The tension was so de-fused that they went back to Molly’s place after the game to offer us another excellently choreographed sex scene. A.) Molly’s headboard is everything (quality headboards are not in reach of everyone’s financial adult life, sigh) and b.) of all the ones we’ve seen so far I think Molly’s sex scenes are the only ones that are actually sexy.

Meanwhile, Issa has invited Mexican Bae over to her place. She doesn’t really want to date him, so this is all a ruse to hopefully get some dick. As she makes pointed conversation drawing attention to her visible bra and the obscene shortness of her skirt, at this point it’s like… do you even actually want some dick or is this just about proving a point? Like are you actually horny and wanting to get fucked? Nico plays along politely, even ignoring her obvious come ons. We are then treated to an awkward scene where Nico wants to treat Issa like a person and she wants to treat him like a conquest. It’s painful to witness.

Issa decides to try a more direct move and just initiates kissing. Nico tries to bring the date back around to their dinner reservations. I feel like the fact that he’s meant to be fairly older than Issa is supposed to play into this. Issa goes so far as to try to bypass this, and when Nico tells her to slow down - “I really like you and I don’t want to rush past this, I want to get to know you” - it just makes Issa angry. Even then, Nico is STILL WILLING to go out to dinner, but Issa apparently is too prideful for this so she flatly rejects him and watches him leave. Sigh. I do understand where she’s coming from, I do. But she’s going about it all the wrong way - very defensively and insecurely. (Oh! I get it now! Ba dum bum.)

Back at Molly’s, she and Dro are doing the post coital thing. He points out that she said she didn’t want to do this anymore. Molly is clearly in a dick haze because her defenses are vastly lowered. She wants to know the boundaries of their non-relationship but Dro is all cool and aloof. He does tell her he isn’t looking for a second side piece which you’d think considering the circumstances would clue her into how ridiculous a conversation this is. She’s asking a married man whether he wants to fuck other women on the side of his wife, isn’t that inherently answering its own question?

Anyway Dro says that Candace knows they are sleeping together and in fact it was her idea to open the relationship. Or so he says. Molly, like a fool, just wants to indulge her butterflies. Her caution is just lip service. She wanted to be told what she wanted to hear.

Another day at work, Lawrence decides to stop by the bosses’ office - where they are standing at waist high desks instead of sitting - and follow up regarding his presentation. Recalling Arpana’s words, he asks whetehr they have any feedback regarding his Woot Woot pitch. I really like the way they framed this shot:

as they shoot each other uncomfortable looks at being put on the spot. Lawrence is speaking in terms of how to to move forward with a viable project, but the bosses do nothing but offer more empty compliments. They have no additional thoughts that would signify any real concerns that would be relevant were this to be an actual project they undertook. The fat boss says they love having his “perspective and input” which delicately suggests Lawrence is there as a diversity hire and not as a real and valuable part of the team. “You bring a lot to the team,” the skinny guy says. The fat guy gives a typically encouraging bullshit line of being excited to see “Lawrence 2.0” and the skinny guy laughs sycophantically. If Lawrence still doesn’t get it, the fact that they overcompensate about his shoes again (“what store did you get those from again?”) should leave him in no doubt. Emasculating… no? (I have far too many thoughts on this subject so let’s move on. They aren’t particularly original, so I’ll spare you.)

Sexplosion. Hey! There are strippers doing pole tricks and chocolatey penis cakes so… what is Tiffany’s job again that this is a thing she does? Issa, Molly, Kelli, and Tiffany stroll up and take a bunch of free condoms. Issa thinks Molly broke things off with Dro because she asks why she needs condoms. They talk about barriers for oral sex and I just remembered this is the episode where they have the problematic, regressive conversation about oral sex.

So, let’s just get this out of the way: Tiffany, the only married one who is clearly the most whitewashed of the group, is the only one to openly acknowledge she loves giving blowjobs. Kelli doesn’t do it wholesale, Issa doesn’t like to do it, and Molly gives the Carrie Bradshaw (because of course this was a conversation on SEASON ONE of sex and the city) response of how it’s not her favorite but she’s flexible. Question: is this what black women are still on in the streets?

Being called a “ho” and ostracized for having any kind of sexuality is something that I left behind in high school once I was an adult and didn’t see any reason to need my choices validated by gossip and/or people I didn’t know. And the conservative quasi-religious culture of patriarchal standards and misogynist perspectives is something I completely abandoned in grad school when the only black men around that wanted to date me behaved like the shit I’d left behind in high school and I realized I was totally unfamiliar with any other cultural norms. I’m not going to go off on a tangent to get to the bottom line that I would hope this is not still a widespread understanding amongst young black women these days though I would not be entirely surprised if it were. I want to sum it up as so: when I exclusively dated black men some of the time I’d be sleeping with a guy who would refuse to ever kiss me, for apparently no reason whatsoever other than it was culturally normal. I was surprised when I started dating white men and they really do want to wake up and kiss you on the mouth first thing in the morning. I slept with a motherfucker all four years of undergrad who never went down on me ONCE. Like, I can’t - I feel like I’m biased and I don’t want to preach from that perspective, so I’m not even going to dig into this.

I will say this - I don’t know how the fuck you expect to successfully date as an adult when you have whole chunks of sexual entrees completely off the menu - for WHATEVER ideological reason - yet continue to think you are dating as a normal person. It’s a hang up. Call it a hang up and accept it.

The next day, Molly is reading an article by Serena Williams about closing the pay gap. Damn, that makes me feel bad. Her mom is still calling and leaving voicemails. At an office across town, Lawrence makes amends with Arpana by acknowledging “Woot Woot” is dead. He tells her she was right, and also there was a racial component to their behavior. Arpana bonds with him as a WOC. Lawrence finally starts to accept he was wrong about his app. They both slowly realize there’s some attraction there that might go somewhere, sometime soon. Every single Woot Woot joke this show has made has been hilarious.

Issa is at Daniel’s listening to some song he produced. It sounds good. Issa says it has a black Daft Punk vibe whiiiiich… it sounds good and nothing like Daft Punk at the same time. They have a moment about how apparently Issa likes champagne with a shot of Jameson. That’s new. They are very flirty and comfortable and eventually start kissing. Issa pushes him down on the couch and as they start to undress, she stops him and gets down on her knees. Speaking of hang ups, I refused to ever give a blowjob literally on my knees, until I started playing it up as an ego thing.

Somewhere across town, Molly is also having a sexy night, in some fancy sterile bathroom taking a bubble bath while Dro sits on the edge of the tub. Before they get too far along, Dro gets a text from his wife who has accidentally locked herself out of their home. Molly is disappointed, and plays it off badly. They were doing a fancy hotel thing ordering in romantic shit which… I mean, I don’t know, if they like it then I’ll abide it silently. Have taken a bath with a guy I was casually sleeping with though. The water was so hot we were both sweating and the wine glasses were fogging up. He asked me how my day was and when I started to reply he started using his fingers on me, but ordered me to keep talking. That dude and I were basically hate fucking, but that moment was always sexy as hell to me.

Back at Daniel’s he is impressed with Issa’s blowjob skills. And then this sequence of events happens: he’s about to come, and he grabs Issa’s head, somehow holding it in place until:

Look! I took a screenshot for you! Bwahahahaha. Seriously how would that work logistically? He’s holding her head down, so he… strategically pulls it up and manages to put it in exactly the right place so that he could shoot her in the eye? Issa is pissed. Daniel acts like he doesn’t know why she’s upset. Issa is so mad she’s incoherent, and forcefully pushes him away when he tries to touch her. Issa’s anger is on one level due to the aforementioned hangups about blowjobs - she said she felt like once you sucked a dude’s dick he felt like he conquered you and relegated you to ho status - but on another level, Daniel is rude as fuck and it is NEVER ok to do a facial without express consent. Her anger is justified, even if it is a bit exacerbated by other issues. Any man who is not an ain’t-shit knows it’s rude to come in your mouth without permission LET ALONE ON YOUR FACE! Hell I’ve dated men that wouldn’t come on me even when I asked, or my ex who would always pull away without my asking, even though I didn’t give a goddamn WHERE he came, EVER. Like, Daniel’s rude as fuck.

So, Issa tells him fuck you and leaves. She ends up hovering around a gas station waiting for her Uber pool that already has two people in it, holding a wet towel to her eye. “Issa?” the driver asks. “Issa car pool!” and everyone laughs except Issa because she’s tired of getting the idea that she’s the butt of every joke.

4 notes · View notes

insecure-hbo-recaps · 7 years

Text

hella blows

Previously on Insecure: Issa is cool with Daniel, but he knows what it is. She's all about her hoe-tation. Molly's dad cheated on Molly's mom which made her feel stupid enough to sleep with Dro. Issa wanted to make sure Daniel knew they were both seeing other people.

Issa's alarm goes off and at first it looks like she's beyond late for work. But it's something even worse than that: she has to get up to move her car out of designated parking to a free side of the street before she gets a ticket or tow. Ikr? About 65% of the reason I want to move out of my current neighborhood even though it's a huge hassle. "Ay! Your bumper bout to fall off," some idiot points out obliviously. "Thanks!" Issa trills in a curt "no duh" kind of way.

Molly is working late. Dro calls and she hesitates before answering, clearly not looking forward to it. She thinks they're going to have a serious conversation but of course he is just calling to shoot the shit. I feel like probably unfairly this paints Dro as suspect? Who fucks their lifelong friend while in an open marriage and then calls like nothing is different? I get the counterargument that that may be WHY he would call and act like nothing is different. But I don't trust these fools.

Molly gets a call on the other line, and tells Dro she has to go because it's her mom. But rather than brace herself for the sure emotional baggage that would come from that, Molly actually doesn't answer, and just sits there thinking about what a mess her life is. She and Dro apparently have plans to see each other the next day, which is ostensibly the real reason why he called.

Shout out to Issa's superfluously woke outerwear. She's wearing that sweatshirt with a somewhat less than casual long skirt by the way. She has no car, so she has to take the bus. She eyes some latino kid as though she recognizes him. He regards her awkwardly as if he recognizes her too. She slides Daniel a potential come thru text and heads into her apartment, bored and restless. She has an email for somethin called a "Sexplosion," which is appealing to her in this moment of drudgery. She bored.

Deciding this particular boredom is not something she can merely abide, Issa figures maybe she'll stop in on Neighbor Bae. Her bathroom freshen up routine consists of mouthwash and an aggressive verbal affirmation seminar. She's one hundred percent gasssed up.

She obliviously heads downstairs and knocks on Neighbor Bae's door. He is surprised to see her, but he's clearly pretending not to know whether or not he asked her over, which is polite. Issa assumes her dropping by should be welcomed, but Eddie has company. He makes needlessly polite excuses when honestly he didn't have to because who the fuck is Issa? Mama gotta have a life too.

Although Issa has to vent via mirror freestyle ("I could cry right now I'm so embarrassed and mad, I hope you can't get it up and that her pussy is trash") I mean, come on. Be reasonable. You're going to have to get a much thicker skin and a lot more comfortable with rejection if you're going to try to be about that ho life. And you know what, it's not for everyone. I had a friend who for some reason thought she was this perfect princess in her mind when really when she'd tell me stories I'd be looking at her like this is some random bitch who will do cocaine with strangers on a first date and then fuck them on the way home so why you think you deserve a doctor husband though? The answer to that question is that she was white and therefore delusional, but the overall point is that not everybody can brave the harsh landscape of being single and dating, and if you try to fake it you'll just end up crying at bars when men ask you why you're single (which also happened to this friend).

I really hate when I take accidental pauses like this one lol:

As Issa irritatedly deals with not getting the dick she psyched herself up for, she gets a double whammy of rejection when Daniel answers her come thru text that he's busy. Issa is not feeling singleness at this moment. There's an interlude with Baby Voiced Darius where he asks her, just randomly for no reason, if she's going to Target. "Why would I be?" Issa snaps. I mean, it's a fair question. I'm potentially going to Target 40% of the time in any random day.

In some other cool, quirky, millennial loft in Los Angeles, Lawrence is making some kind of pitch to a motley group of assembled coworkers. So now we finally get some details on the elusive Woot Woot: "it aggregates all of your data, where you shop, where you eat, where you drink, and it makes recommendations based on that." Motherfucker how is this any different from all the bullshit Netflix keeps recommending me 67 times that I'm not going to watch, or how google is so Big Brother on us now that if I'm watching or listening to something and decide to look up part of it, it can autocomplete my search based on less than one word? I mean to say... technology been way able to do that for a long time, bruh. Everyone cheers and applauds and Lawrence, in a very ugly navy cardigan, grins big at what seems like praise and encouragement of his idea. And... this was the idea he'd been working on while unemployed for two years? AND WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH "WOOT WOOT"?!

Two guys that I'm going to assume are Lawrence's superiors are giving him feedback. Bosses in the start up world look like this:

I'm glad I'm not inclined to this field because it's honestly not something that I think I would be able to take seriously lol. They say it's great and they loved the presentation. While their feedback sounds positive and Lawrence obviously thinks it's a vote of confidence, if you listen closely they're doing nothing but praising him individually and offering compliments to the fact that he is working hard and competently, not praising the viability of his work specifically. They make no comments whatsoever about the app being a good idea or potential product. Then, just to underscore the fact that they are Clueless White People, the fat guy asks Lawrence about his shoes, and calls them fly. I would take issue that at this point it seems like the show just makes fun of white people just to mock them and make white people as a whole unsympathetic but on the other hand... white people stay doing fake bonding shit like this when they don't have to, so if they look bad, then, motherfuckers, stop doing the shit.

Where do you suppose Issa and Molly are? I'm at a loss as to whether this is a Chinese restaurant, a really shitty travel agency, or somewhere where you can get your eyebrows waxed for eight dollars. Molly is telling Issa she's worried that she may have fucked up her friendship with Dro, and Issa points out that that wouldn't be surprising considering that she fucked her friend. I think that it's nice just a couple episodes ago Molly was having this talk with Issa, and now Issa's having it with Molly.

It turns out they're in a mechanic waiting room while Issa gets an estimate to fix her car. Molly opines that Dro is the only person/man who's seen her at her worst so why would she go and complicate things this way? And the way I feel about that is... if you start fucking a married man you really can't be thinking about any of this shit where he may potentially be a person that is anything other than a married man. Remind me again that at some point during this story line I take a complete break to tell y'all about how I was fucking a married man. The point is anyway that Molly is doing the most emotionally when you'd think it would be easy to understand that in a situation like this specifically you need to do your best to chill. Her current thought is to tell Dro she doesn't want it to happen again when they hang out later that night.The mechanic comes back and tells Issa they'll have to order parts to do the repairs (which duh she's getting body work done) and it'll be about 5500. Issa balks at that price tag.

Remember in the previous episode where Molly and Issa talked about a vacation? Molly still wants to go (listing a bunch of countries and islands that start with M, prompting Issa to chide annoyedly "there are other places with other letters") seemingly oblivious to the fact that if Issa can't afford to repair her car, she can't afford to go on vacation. In hindsight, this show really put a LOT of effort into very deliberate continuity between episodes, for really small things.

Issa is frustrated because she had been doing really well with all her various life parts and now all of them seem to be scattering out abruptly. She's still having trouble accepting that men she's seeing casually aren't just available for her whenever she wants them to be. Ok so... how are you saying you want Daniel to know to stay in his place, and you want Mexican Bae not to expect anything from you, but you want them to be willing to do whatever you want when you want it? Again: be reasonable sis. If you're gonna dish it out then obviously you have to take it back too. Then she acknowledges sex with her is mediocre and, again, this is where she loses me. I don't think I would ever describe sex with me as "acceptable" except on occasions when I know I am making no effort to leave an impression. Come on now. Half the dudes I got to stick around as adults - when sex is less of an issue and everyone has more baggage - is probably 80% because sex was the only draw. And I'm partially joking (clearly I have the delusionally high self esteem of a complete asshole and I like it that way), but seriously it's something that you have to think about as you get older. The Panties Card gets flimsier and flimsier, until it is no longer a guaranteed bargaining chip to maintain someone's attention which frankly was news to me.

Back at the super cool Los Angeles tech start up, Lawrence stops by Arpana's desk and playfully asks her questions around what he should do with his impending takeover of the app world. Arpana makes this face:

Clearly she is clued into what Lawrence is not, which is that the presentation did not go as well as he thought it did. She tells him he should lower his expectations, because she doesn't think Woot Woot is viable: it felt outdated. Speaking of delusional self esteem, Lawrence cooly replies that it's fine if she doesn't see the vision and who cares because she's not the one greenlighting it anyway. As he gets up to leave, Arpana adds that clearly the bosses weren't into it like they were some other app where they asked questions and dug through the pitch looking for flaws then scheduled a follow up. It slowly sinks in on Lawrence that maybe she has a point, but when she says "it's like they didn't want to offend you," Lawrence puts his defenses back up and tells her that she's entitled to her opinion. While I don't approve of Lawrence's childish blindspots, I do approve of his polite passive aggressive work rebuttals. (Professional environments love passive aggression.)

Laker bar. Molly shows up for her date with Dro, nervous about the speech she plans to drop. She awkwardly explains that she feels like things are different though objectively Dro's behavior doesn't seem in any way out of the ordinary. He tells her she's being dramatic and to calm the fuck down. They playfully joke about french fries and apparently that's all it took to defuse the tension.

The tension was so de-fused that they went back to Molly's place after the game to offer us another excellently choreographed sex scene. A.) Molly's headboard is everything (quality headboards are not in reach of everyone's financial adult life, sigh) and b.) of all the ones we've seen so far I think Molly's sex scenes are the only ones that are actually sexy.

Meanwhile, Issa has invited Mexican Bae over to her place. She doesn't really want to date him, so this is all a ruse to hopefully get some dick. As she makes pointed conversation drawing attention to her visible bra and the obscene shortness of her skirt, at this point it's like... do you even actually want some dick or is this just about proving a point? Like are you actually horny and wanting to get fucked? Nico plays along politely, even ignoring her obvious come ons. We are then treated to an awkward scene where Nico wants to treat Issa like a person and she wants to treat him like a conquest. It's painful to witness.

Issa decides to try a more direct move and just initiates kissing. Nico tries to bring the date back around to their dinner reservations. I feel like the fact that he's meant to be fairly older than Issa is supposed to play into this. Issa goes so far as to try to bypass this, and when Nico tells her to slow down - "I really like you and I don't want to rush past this, I want to get to know you" - it just makes Issa angry. Even then, Nico is STILL WILLING to go out to dinner, but Issa apparently is too prideful for this so she flatly rejects him and watches him leave. Sigh. I do understand where she's coming from, I do. But she's going about it all the wrong way - very defensively and insecurely. (Oh! I get it now! Ba dum bum.)

Back at Molly's, she and Dro are doing the post coital thing. He points out that she said she didn't want to do this anymore. Molly is clearly in a dick haze because her defenses are vastly lowered. She wants to know the boundaries of their non-relationship but Dro is all cool and aloof. He does tell her he isn't looking for a second side piece which you'd think considering the circumstances would clue her into how ridiculous a conversation this is. She's asking a married man whether he wants to fuck other women on the side of his wife, isn't that inherently answering its own question?

Another day at work, Lawrence decides to stop by the bosses' office - where they are standing at waist high desks instead of sitting - and follow up regarding his presentation. Recalling Arpana's words, he asks whetehr they have any feedback regarding his Woot Woot pitch. I really like the way they framed this shot:

as they shoot each other uncomfortable looks at being put on the spot. Lawrence is speaking in terms of how to to move forward with a viable project, but the bosses do nothing but offer more empty compliments. They have no additional thoughts that would signify any real concerns that would be relevant were this to be an actual project they undertook. The fat boss says they love having his "perspective and input" which delicately suggests Lawrence is there as a diversity hire and not as a real and valuable part of the team. "You bring a lot to the team," the skinny guy says. The fat guy gives a typically encouraging bullshit line of being excited to see "Lawrence 2.0" and the skinny guy laughs sycophantically. If Lawrence still doesn't get it, the fact that they overcompensate about his shoes again ("what store did you get those from again?") should leave him in no doubt. Emasculating... no? (I have far too many thoughts on this subject so let's move on. They aren't particularly original, so I'll spare you.)

Sexplosion. Hey! There are strippers doing pole tricks and chocolatey penis cakes so... what is Tiffany's job again that this is a thing she does? Issa, Molly, Kelli, and Tiffany stroll up and take a bunch of free condoms. Issa thinks Molly broke things off with Dro because she asks why she needs condoms. They talk about barriers for oral sex and I just remembered this is the episode where they have the problematic, regressive conversation about oral sex.

So, let's just get this out of the way: Tiffany, the only married one who is clearly the most whitewashed of the group, is the only one to openly acknowledge she loves giving blowjobs. Kelli doesn't do it wholesale, Issa doesn't like to do it, and Molly gives the Carrie Bradshaw (because of course this was a conversation on SEASON ONE of sex and the city) response of how it's not her favorite but she's flexible. Question: is this what black women are still on in the streets?

Being called a "ho" and ostracized for having any kind of sexuality is something that I left behind in high school once I was an adult and didn't see any reason to need my choices validated by gossip and/or people I didn't know. And the conservative quasi-religious culture of patriarchal standards and misogynist perspectives is something I completely abandoned in grad school when the only black men around that wanted to date me behaved like the shit I'd left behind in high school and I realized I was totally unfamiliar with any other cultural norms. I'm not going to go off on a tangent to get to the bottom line that I would hope this is not still a widespread understanding amongst young black women these days though I would not be entirely surprised if it were. I want to sum it up as so: when I exclusively dated black men some of the time I'd be sleeping with a guy who would refuse to ever kiss me, for apparently no reason whatsoever other than it was culturally normal. I was surprised when I started dating white men and they really do want to wake up and kiss you on the mouth first thing in the morning. I slept with a motherfucker all four years of undergrad who never went down on me ONCE. Like, I can't - I feel like I'm biased and I don't want to preach from that perspective, so I'm not even going to dig into this.

I will say this - I don't know how the fuck you expect to successfully date as an adult when you have whole chunks of sexual entrees completely off the menu - for WHATEVER ideological reason - yet continue to think you are dating as a normal person. It's a hang up. Call it a hang up and accept it.

The next day, Molly is reading an article by Serena Williams about closing the pay gap. Damn, that makes me feel bad. Her mom is still calling and leaving voicemails. At an office across town, Lawrence makes amends with Arpana by acknowledging "Woot Woot" is dead. He tells her she was right, and also there was a racial component to their behavior. Arpana bonds with him as a WOC. Lawrence finally starts to accept he was wrong about his app. They both slowly realize there's some attraction there that might go somewhere, sometime soon. Every single Woot Woot joke this show has made has been hilarious.

Issa is at Daniel's listening to some song he produced. It sounds good. Issa says it has a black Daft Punk vibe whiiiiich... it sounds good and nothing like Daft Punk at the same time. They have a moment about how apparently Issa likes champagne with a shot of Jameson. That's new. They are very flirty and comfortable and eventually start kissing. Issa pushes him down on the couch and as they start to undress, she stops him and gets down on her knees. Speaking of hang ups, I refused to ever give a blowjob literally on my knees, until I started playing it up as an ego thing.

Somewhere across town, Molly is also having a sexy night, in some fancy sterile bathroom taking a bubble bath while Dro sits on the edge of the tub. Before they get too far along, Dro gets a text from his wife who has accidentally locked herself out of their home. Molly is disappointed, and plays it off badly. They were doing a fancy hotel thing ordering in romantic shit which... I mean, I don't know, if they like it then I'll abide it silently. Have taken a bath with a guy I was casually sleeping with though. The water was so hot we were both sweating and the wine glasses were fogging up. He asked me how my day was and when I started to reply he started using his fingers on me, but ordered me to keep talking. That dude and I were basically hate fucking, but that moment was always sexy as hell to me.

Back at Daniel's he is impressed with Issa's blowjob skills. And then this sequence of events happens: he's about to come, and he grabs Issa's head, somehow holding it in place until:

Look! I took a screenshot for you! Bwahahahaha. Seriously how would that work logistically? He's holding her head down, so he... strategically pulls it up and manages to put it in exactly the right place so that he could shoot her in the eye? Issa is pissed. Daniel acts like he doesn't know why she's upset. Issa is so mad she's incoherent, and forcefully pushes him away when he tries to touch her. Issa's anger is on one level due to the aforementioned hangups about blowjobs - she said she felt like once you sucked a dude's dick he felt like he conquered you and relegated you to ho status - but on another level, Daniel is rude as fuck and it is NEVER ok to do a facial without express consent. Her anger is justified, even if it is a bit exacerbated by other issues. Any man who is not an ain't-shit knows it's rude to come in your mouth without permission LET ALONE ON YOUR FACE! Hell I've dated men that wouldn't come on me even when I asked, or my ex who would always pull away without my asking, even though I didn't give a goddamn WHERE he came, EVER. Like, Daniel's rude as fuck.

So, Issa tells him fuck you and leaves. She ends up hovering around a gas station waiting for her Uber pool that already has two people in it, holding a wet towel to her eye. "Issa?" the driver asks. "Issa car pool!" and everyone laughs except Issa because she's tired of getting the idea that she's the butt of every joke.

#insecure hbo #issa rae

4 notes · View notes