#early s5 I had hope

[lucascsinclairs]

may i ask what does the finale meaning of st s4 was? is max gonna be alright or is she from the upside down now?

Hi anon! That ending left so many questions about her, huh? I think the Duffers left it purposely vague so that when they start fully writing s5 (apparently the writers room will open at the beginning of August! So exciting!) they'll have plenty of room for different ideas and options they could take her plot in.

One thing I'm pretty confident we can take for certain is that she will survive the rest of the show. If they wanted to fully kill her off, they had their chance. Since they left her alive, it is clear that they are not done with her character or just that they do not intend to kill her off. It would just be repetitive.

Another thing we know is that she is alive by the end of the season. Lucas tells the others how her heart started again after not beating for a minute (thanks to El), and we also see that she is breathing on her own, without an oxygen mask or tubes or anything. I saw someone with more knowledge of medical details on here saying how that is a sign that she is not actually "brain dead" as patients in that state aren't able to breathe on their own (at least that's what I remember that post saying and what a quick Google search turned up). So she is alive, it's just that her mind/consciousness is not present. That is showed to us by El not seeing her inside the Void. El can see dead people inside the Void (Barb) and she also saw her mom whose brain is also damaged. But she wasn't able to see Max, which points to the fact that whatever is going on with her is something different.

Her being in the Upside Down can be ruled out pretty easily, since her physical body is there in the hospital. When people go over to the Upside Down (Will in s1, all of them in s4), their physical bodies are no longer in the regular world, they fully go over there. And she isn't in the Void for El to find. So my best guess right now is that Max is in Vecna's red Mind Lair. Brenner and Vecna himself talked about how he absorbs his victims, their thoughts, their abilities (like he was able to absorb El's powers through the bite in s3). So my guess of what could've happened is that when she technically died, her consciousness was sucked over to the Mind Lair, and then it got stuck there in some way, either because Vecna was injured by the fire or because El was able to bring her back to life. With all of that happening, maybe her mind/consciousness is there but stuck in a way, maybe not in danger (since Vecna is weak after the fight) but not able to get back.

There really are hundreds of different ways for them to take Max's plotline next season, but that's my guess of what could be going on. The Duffer brothers have said that there is a reason why they decided to have Max in a coma to end the season, and that it will tie into s5. Again, if they wanted to just kill her, they wouldn't go through all the trouble of introducing the whole coma plotline. It will pay off in some way for sure. I've seen theories about the final battle and killing Vecna for good being what frees her and brings her consciousness back to her body. And while that theory is very interesting, I just selfishly don't want it to be true, because I don't want to wait until the very end of the season to see her awake and interacting with everyone again. I don't want them to waste Sadie's acting talents after her shining so much and garnering so much praise this season, and since it's the final season of the show, I want to see as much of my favorite characters as possible.

So tl;dr: Max is alive and her coma will be important going into s5, and my personal theory is that her consciousness got stuck in Vecna's Mind Lair.

#answered #the coma will tie into s5 for sure #i just hope that like el's disappearance at the end of s1 and hopper's death in s3 #max not being awake will be resolved pretty early in the season #just because you'd think the duffers would want all characters to participate and be there for the final showdown #and to not drag out the coma plotline too long #aaaand just because i want to see as much as awake max as possible #off topic but theorizing about this really reminds me of the pre s2 days #where we knew el would somhow be back cause millie was filming #but we had no idea how #so there were all those fics and such about her fending for herself in the upside down for an entire year #only for her to actually get out of there after like five minutes ahshjssj #kaisa talks #st theory

[chirpsythismorning]

Penholdergate is pretty much bones at this point, but I'm bored so

Now, I'm not saying that cryptic game the ST writers had going on was actually at all related to the pen of possibility from Anne with an E.

Initially, I thought it was weird they put this emphasis on it being a penholder. Like yes, you can put pens in it, and it can be referred to as such, but idk. I've just never heard it actually be called that, especially when it's surrounded by expo markers on a whiteboard? But anyways, whatever.

Could it all be a joke? Yes. Could it be hinting at something we have to look at deeper in order to figure out? Perhaps.

But, because I literally couldn't think of anything, my brain went straight to the pen of possibility and that took me on a whole different trip.

When promoting season 3 of Anne with an E, Amybeth hinted at the pen of possibility playing a significant role, even sneaking the pen emoji in a q&a, which she posted a week before the final episode aired.

Basically this whole penholder fiasco reminded me of AWAE in general, which makes this the perfect opportunity for me to ramble about how it could end up being one of many inspirations for ST5.

Them casting Amybeth and the Duffer's making a point to say they were big fans of AWAE means it's on their radar at the very least.

I’m also fairly certain they've watched it after recently finding out that, the first time Vickie was mentioned in ST4, during the boobies scene with Robin and Steve, the song Object of My Desire plays.

I kid you not, when Amybeth was announced for the role, I made a playlist of songs I hoped could potentially play during a Vickie scene (because they were released on or close to 1986). And Object of My Desire was one song in particular that I thought would be a cool easter egg/homage to AWAE, since the title matches fairly on point with Gilbert's letter to Anne in the last episode of the series.

If you haven't watched AWAE, I highly recommend it. It's surprisingly very queer and just beautiful all around. There's a lot of care put into all the storylines, both romantic, platonic and familial. I can see why the Duffer's would be fans because AWAE very much follows similar rules of storytelling as ST.

If you also aren't aware, the show is based on Anne of Green Gables, which is a book from 1908. It ended up being an 8 part book series, spanning decades from Anne's childhood to her adulthood, and with a lot of adaptations made based on it over the next century. One TV mini-series from 1985 in particular is especially beloved.

The original book from 1908 has also been referenced in ST itself, with Hopper having read it to both his daughter and then El later on.

And so it wasn't much of a surprise that the creator of AWAE wanted to do something different than the dozens of versions before it, by going more in depth into what was truly going on back then, but most likely wasn't explored fully for that very reason. And even despite all the backlash from Anne purists saying they ruined the story with woke-ness, the writers didn't give a fuck (sound familiar?).

Also, I want to say that a popular headcanon for Anne is that she was queer, as the writing of her does feel very much like she loved Diana in a way that wasn't acceptable back then (she talks about dreading the day Diana goes off and gets married, like she has literal nightmares about it...). With the books being written in the 1900's, and written by a woman, it wasn't an option to even tell a story from that perspective, without it being at most subtextual.

So honestly, if Anne and Gilbert hadn't been so perfectly written in AWAE, I may very well have shipped Anne and Diana more, similar to how I did with the books and a few of the other adaptations. But alas, the straights won this round.

Personally, I felt this version was building up Diana and Ruby, if anything. The way Ruby's crush on Gilbert was kind of a running joke throughout the series, only for her to drop him completely at a moments notice after developing a sudden crush on Moody? Idk, very comp-het of her. And Diana is like Mike Wheeler only 10x worse. Her entire arc was focused on her need to be normal: her disgust when finding out her aunt was a lesbian in s2 (ITS NOT NATURAL), only to start a fling with Jerry in s3, whom she kissed in private, but basically hurt in the end, when he realized she didn't like him beyond the kissing part. She also had a lot of resentment for the future her parents planned for her, which was finishing school and then marriage.

But honestly, the framing for them alone was just, interesting:

Still, even though I would argue Diana and Ruby were queer-coded, I don't think it was guaranteed to pan out as endgame in the end. Especially seeing as Ruby died in the books. So maybe the show getting cancelled was for the best...

Now, Cole on the other hand, was very much gay in canon.

Within the span of one season (s2), they introduced Cole, somehow managed to make it very clear he was gay, without saying it outright, and in a way that felt natural despite the time period that the show was set in (AWAE also had a lot of emphasis on the words weird/different = gay/freak). Although he went through hardships, Cole did get a happy resolution to his storyline at the end of the season, and I think that's what makes AWAE (and hopefully ST) so special.

Not only did we get a glimpse into Cole's perspective as a gay kid growing up in the late 1800's, we also got a more unfortunate perspective, their teacher, Mr. Phillips. Mr. Phillips experienced dangerously toxic levels of internalized homophobia, going as far as to take it out on Cole, essentially punishing a younger version of himself through projection. Whenever he caught Cole doing something perceived as feminine or out of the norm for men in those times, he would make a spectacle out of it and humiliate him.

He had also just jumped into a relationship with Prissy, the eldest girl in the class (ewwww). Although it seemed like he was interested in her romantically when things were still fairly casual, it's in moments of privacy you can see there is an internal struggle going on there. And as he and Prissy get more serious, talking about marriage, these confrontations with Cole are happening simultaneously with Mr. Phillips getting more and more dejected from reality and his impending heteronormative fate.

Although it wasn't clear to Prissy why he didn't love her the way she deserved to be loved, the audience knew it was because he was gay. Fortunately for her, instead of marrying him and being miserable for the rest of her life, Prissy ran out of the wedding, which lead to arguably some of the most beautiful shots in the entire show.

I can't end this mini gay AWAE analysis though without mentioning the beauty that is Gertie and Joe. It was revealed at the end of s1 that Diana's aunt, Josephine Barry, was lesbian, still mourning her love Gertrude, who had just died a year or so prior. But honestly, I'm going to stop there. That's all I'm gonna say because if I talk about them I'll get too emotional (THEY WERE ROOMMATES!).

Now, Anne and Gilbert. Like I said, if they weren't written and framed to very clearly be endgame all along, maybe I wouldn't have been so on board. But they were, and so here we are. (s/out to antis who are convinced all bylers only ship Mike and Will bc they're 2 boys. Newsflash, people ship byler bc of how they were written/framed to be endgame, just like Anne and Gilbert here. If it weren't for these sorbet bitches, I wouldn't have started shipping Byler in the first place. So, you can blame the straights for this one!.)

For those that haven't read the original books, Anne and Gilbert get together midway through the overall series, with the last couple novels even being from the perspective of their children (they had 7 total).

Now when I say endgame framing, I mean endgame framing.

Although back then, couples did get married fairly young, AWAE was based on the events of Anne's life at a really young age, spanning from 13-16, so marriage was just not in the cards for this adaptation.

Because of this, they used cinematography, specifically the framing of Anne and Gilbert, to hint that they would end up together, ie. them standing before a threshold in the finale of every season:

There's even a shot of them standing in front of the tunnel of love, where you can see a couple that resembles a future version of them walking in the background, foreshadowing the inevitable.

There's a lot of shots like this, and while neither of them are reserved to being exclusively on one side of the frame at all times (besides the threshold shots), it's clear the framing of them in general was intended to capture a chemistry building up over the years, which would eventually lead to a payoff, making all these little moments even more special once you can finally look at the story as a whole (remind you of anyone?).

For those who haven't seen AWAE or just want a refresher for the sake of this analysis, here goes:

During the first season, Anne and Gilbert more so embody the academic rivals to lovers trope. It isn't until the end of that season, after budding heads with Gilbert, that Anne realizes she has feelings for him. Unfortunately, it was too late, as he had apparently left town and probably wouldn't return ever again. Or so she thought.

She runs into him before he leaves, gets all overwhelmed, happy to see him (to his surprise) and they end up chatting over tea. They apologize to each other, argue over who should be apologizing, listen to each other's feelings and concerns, have their classic 'anyway' 'anyway' moment, and end it with a staring contest/their breaths catching, aka endgame coded behavior (remind you of anyone...)

In the first half of the second season, they stay in contact via letters. What I find funny is the way Bash teases Gilbert about the letters to Anne being romantic, all while Gilbert insists that she is just a friend. And at the same time Anne is rambling (unprompted) to Marilla that the letters between her and Gilbert are not romantic WHATSOEVER!

Then, in the second half of s2 they reunite and Gilbert basically implies that he came back to Avonlea bc of her. They start traditions together (Christmas episode my beloved), and even stand alongside each other fighting for what's right (getting Ms. Stacy her job back after being unjustly fired) and it's all just very wholesome (with a mix of academic rivals conflict). The season ends with Bash and Mary's wedding, the last shot being Anne and Gilbert standing in the threshold of the church entrance, talking about the future, with Gilbert repeating back something he overheard Anne say in a rant just a few episodes prior:

Gilbert: Tragical romance and all?

Anne: Remains to be seen.

Essentially, they foreshadow their own fate (REMIND YOU OF ANYONE?)

What follows is the third and final season, which means endgame was fast-tracked and so what we got was peak mutual pining/misunderstanding/jealousy tropes, ending with the classic letters tragically unreceived until the very last second trope.

Initially, at the start of s3, Anne pushes Gilbert towards Ruby, by confronting him about the take notice board in a conversation that leaves both of them slightly hurt and confused. Because according to Ruby, while Anne talked to him about her, his eyes were full of romance. Only Gilbert wasn't smiling because of Ruby, he was smiling because he thought Anne was talking about herself and their future, about the two of them taking notice of each other. The moment Anne says Ruby's name, Gilbert's face falls, no longer interested (*cough* van scene *cough*)

In the following episode, Anne pushes Gilbert away even more, insisting she doesn't need him, but it was only because she was frustrated that she needed a man accompanying her in order to travel. But Gilbert took this as her not needing him at all, and was pretty much just defeated at this point. He'd hoped they could use this opportunity traveling together privately to get closer, but now he's starting to think maybe Anne truly doesn't feel the same. And so he decides to give her the cold shoulder, and proceeds to attempt his 'moving on from my true love' era. He then meets Winifred Rose only a couple scenes later, who he begins courting soon after. They even go out to tea a couple of times...

Mary's sickness and passing is something both Anne and Gilbert struggle with, as they have come to associate each others families as their own. So despite the recent tension between them, they quickly go back into a flow of mutual understanding.

When Gilbert gets upset upon realizing, that if he continues with his passion of becoming a doctor, he'll have to deal with people dying and not being able to save everyone, Anne quickly comforts/encourages him for being the kind of doctor people would want to bring their loved ones to, because he cares so much (Caring deeply will always be the right thing). You can see this means a lot to Gilbert. Then when rehearsing the dance for the carnival, Gilbert messes up the formation of the dance to get closer to Anne, where they enter their own little world. Time slows; it's electric. We then see both of them flustered over what they're feeling afterwards.

The rest of the season is filled with misunderstandings, but also moments that parallel to previous seasons, where they work together to stand up for what's right (Who knew, we'd make such a good, T-E-A-M) and all of these feelings basically build up, making both of them wonder if maybe the other could actually feel the same way.

So, when Gilbert is offered the perfect future, the Sorbonne in Paris (his dream school) completely paid in full by Winifred's father if he agrees to propose to her, his first instinct is to track down Anne to ask her what she thinks. When he finds her, she's drunk at the ruins with all their classmates, celebrating finishing the queens entrance exam. But she's confused and quite frankly speechless over the fact that Gilbert felt the need to get her input at all. The choice seemed obvious to her. And that's when we have this long awaited moment happen, where it's basically confirmed Gilbert does indeed return Anne's feelings, that she's literally the one thing holding him back. Unfortunately, Gilbert interprets Anne's hesitation and confusion as rejection. And Anne also sort of interprets this as making him choose between her and his dreams which, she obviously doesn't want to get in the way of.

But it doesn't matter. Because Gilbert still can't go through with marrying Winifred. He spends the whole day before confronting her, visiting places all over the Island, specifically places that remind him of home (Anne). He even goes to the destroyed Avonlea Story Club (*cough* Castle Byers *cough*) and takes one of the sea shells there from Anne's abandoned collection and brings it with him. We then see him looking conflicted between the ring he's supposed to propose to Winifred with, and the sea shell that symbolizes his love for Anne.

It isn't until the opening scene of the series finale that we see Gilbert calling off his impending engagement to Winifred. (I care about you very much / But not as much as for a certain someone?)

Just before this, in the second to last episode, Anne wrote a letter to Gilbert revealing her true feelings, because their talk at the ruins made her start to believe he could feel the same. But the letter (tragically) never gets to Gilbert.

In a last ditch effort before leaving forever potentially (again), Gilbert also leaves Anne a letter revealing his true feelings, which Anne also never receives (even more tragically if you can believe that).

And all this miscommunication comes to a head at the very end, when Winifred reveals the truth to Anne, and Diana reveals the truth to Gilbert. What follows is them both running to find each other, where they kiss, only to once again go their separate ways, pursuing their dreams, with Anne going to school in Charlottetown to eventually be a teacher/writer, and Gilbert to Toronto to study medicine. They make plans to write each other. (I have follow up questions! / So do I!).

Even though the show ended there, because of the books and all the hints the show left along the way, we know that they end up together.

So, as you can see, the pen lived up to its name as the pen of possibility. I also think the comment Anne made early on, about how Gilbert doesn't have a way with words, was meant to ironically hint at the fact that he very much does have a way with words, and that Anne, and we the audience, would find out soon enough.

But like I said, it's entirely unlikely that the ST writers were hinting at the pen of possibility, like SOO unlikely it's unreal. That wasn't even my main point making this. There just honestly hasn't been much to go off with this whole penholdergate thing, and the tag is so dead anyways, so i figured, why not? And I really just needed an excuse to bring up how similar the style of these shows are when it comes to narrative choices, especially the set up for shirbert and byler, because like I said, full serious, I never would have put so much consideration into Byler if it wasn't for how endgame coded they were, just like Shirbert.

Specifically the way Mike looks at Will, it just feels very, very similar to the way Gilbert looks at Anne.

Nevertheless, I still think this adds an interesting layer of possibility to the whole lettergate/pocketgate theory for ST5. After all, we know Will is good at painting, and it's his love language, which is why he gifted Mike a painting in the first place. In contrast, we're given these implications that writing is Mike's love language. He also attributes it to romantic feelings, which is why he feels he has an obligation to reserve letter writing to El, his girlfriend. But because it is his love language, there's an element of truthfulness that he can't fully submit to. He couldn't 'in good conscious' go through with it fully, by ending his letters to El with, "love Mike", as it would have contradicted the whole truth of this being Mike's love language.

I feel like the only way for them to properly resolve this whole storyline, is to let us see a letter from Mike. Perhaps a letter ending with, 'love--?. Perhaps a letter addressed to Will?. (Just as long as he doesn't rip it up before he even reads it or step on it and lose it outside, crumpled in the dirt, never to be found. Iykyk. Those were tragic times in Anne nation.)

As you can probably tell by now, there's a shit ton of things the ST writers could pull from AWAE for inspiration, but we won't know if they have done so officially unless it ends up being listed on the updated whiteboard for ST5. If it isn't, then we can rule it out and move on. But if it is (genuinely possible), then I wouldn't be surprised to see some of these elements above paralleled, either with literal parallels or just narratively in a broad sense when it comes to certain characters dynamics and their inevitable fate...

#stranger things #anne with an e #stranger things 5 #byler #i just wanna hear mike reading off his own words... #the power that has #like why build up him not being able to write love mike... if were not going to eventually be able to see him do it in the end? #like he was saving it for someone special obviously #so where is the payoff #to be continued in st5 i guess #I could see the whole lettergate/pocketgate thing playing out early s5 tbh though #i think it's something thats too closely tied to s4 for them to wait until the very end of s5 to circle back to #but we'll have to wait and see i guess #gertie and jo #now im sad #awae had me crying so much over platonic love... not just romantic love too. like thats what made it soooo good #and so #i do have hope that st will be able to accomplish a lot even beyond the endgame ships #i'm also very hopeful that el's arc will be satisfying bc of this as well #she'll have her prissy moment and we'll all be cheering #i can't wait #byler theory #penholdergate #gridgate #lettergate #pocketgate #st5 headcanon #st5 movie/film inspo #anne with an e parallels

[reiderwriter]

Hello there baby, are your parents bakers? Cause you're a cutie pie lol sorry couldn't resist the urge to flirt with my favorite writer💕How have you been? How was your day? I wish you a wonderful day and a lovely night💕

It's my first time here sending an ask but lately I've been thinking about shy!Spencer x flirty!reader, I just think is such a cute couple.

So if you're taking requests, I was thinking about early seasons Spencer completely falling for the reader and the way she's so flirty but sweet and kind, the way he'd be blushing hard at anything she says and how he'd like the way she's always touching him cause he felt cherised and desired.

It could be fluff or smut or both cause I can picture them going slow with the relationship but Spencer being eager to please her and show how much he loves everything about her.

You said about choosing a emoji, so can I be the 🐇anon?

A/N: Thanks for the request! Shy Spencer is the best because he's so dumb and silly and doesn't realize when people are attracted to him. I've said it before, but he's basically every nerdy main character in 00s romcoms that are "unattractive" because they wear glasses. I hope you enjoy the fic~♡

Warnings: mentions of case details, slight spoilers for upto s5

With a degree in law and a deep-rooted hatred of businessmen, you'd certainly found your calling in one of the FBI White Collar divisions. Putting away the sleazy bastards was easily one of the biggest perks of the job, but every coin had a second side, and yours was you actually had to interact with the cretins before you could take them down. 

You'd dealt with bribes, dinner invites, and sexual propositions more than a time or two, and had to remind yourself that kicking anyone of them clean in the balls was most likely a firing offense, if not legally off the table. 

The man in the case you were currently working - possibly Bill Hodges, possibly Daniel Brady, possibly so many more men - had been a typical white collar freak until he'd moved on to murder. And when you'd been so close to nailing his ass for fraud, too. 

You'd had no choice but to call in whatever unit it was that actually got to put bullets in the bastards, sure that you were going to be strong-armed out of months of work for the glory of taking down a spree killer. 

Instead, you got Spencer Reid, delivered freshly to your desk like a lamb to slaughter. 

“Sorry, you're the agent from the BAU?” You asked, raking your eyes across his body, smiling at his obvious discomfort with the attention. 

“Yes, Doctor Reid. I'm here for more information on the Hodges files.” 

You dusted your skirt off as you stood, moving around the desk to grab the file. You held it out to him but pulled it back when he reached for it.

“I'm sorry, you're really in the BAU?” An embarrassed look fell across his face, and you instantly felt shitty. 

“Do you want to see my credentials?” 

“No, I'm sorry, it's just - I wasn't expecting someone so…pretty?” 

The embarrassed look deepened to a flush, and you brightened at the sight. You weren't lying. He really was pretty, and you hoped your comment hadn't come off as patronizing. 

“You're adorable. Here's the file, I’ll be at your team briefing in half an hour. Spencer, right?” 

He nodded, finally waking up and taking the files as you pushed it against his chest, using the movement to step slightly closer. 

“I'll see you later then,” you trailed your look down, getting a good look at all of him before meeting his eyes again. “Save me a seat?” 

“I should… I'll, uh, go now. Thanks for the-” he stammered, pointing to the file, backing out of your space slowly, like an animal trying not to show its back to a predator. 

Unlike the long line of scumbags filling the halls and case files of your floor, Spencer was without bravado or ego. His lack of both meant that you were interested. You were very interested. 

Half an hour later, you practically sprinted to the 6th floor, bouncing up the stairs to the office where you'd take your meeting like a giddy school girl. 

“Hello, sorry, I'm not late, am I?” You asked, quietly opening the door and letting yourself in. 

“Agent Y/N, no, perfect timing, Penelope was just about to brief us on your case,” Hotch said, rising and giving your hand a firm shake. He looked around to find a seat to usher you into, but you quickly dropped yourself into the seat right beside Spencer Reid, grin deepening as he flushed and offered you an awkward yet endearing smile. 

Unconsciously, you shifted closer, shooting him your own smile before the meeting officially began, and you were forced to keep a straight, serious face. 

The entire case progressed in much the same way, with you doing everything you could to fluster Spencer Reid and him doing everything in his power to convince himself you were being friendly. 

“Spencer, do you have a phone number?” You asked after slipping out of the meeting, trailing him back to his desk. 

“Yeah, we have to keep connected for cases, so I have a phone.” 

“Great. Your number - what is it?” 

He rattled off the digital as you scribbled them down on a notepad. 

“And Hotch's number is-” 

“Oh, I won't need that. Thanks, Spencer.” You said waving as you left to slink back to your desk. You could hear him calling out behind you, confused. 

“Y/N… Y/N, we split up on cases often, if there's an incident and you need to contact us it's better to have all of the team members numbers,” he panted, jogging to catch up with your focused pace. 

“If I need to contact you, I'll take myself to Agent Garcia’s office and use her direct line,” you said, finally stopping yourself at the elevator and pressing the button. 

He caught up, and stopped abruptly next to you. 

“Oh… oh, yeah that's… that's efficient.” 

You stepped onto the elevator when it arrived, leaving Spencer hesitating whether or not to climb in himself, desperately wondering why you'd ask for his number then. 

“Goodbye, Doctor Reid,” you said, pressing the door close button and blowing him a kiss just before the doors blocked you from sight. 

To tell the truth, you'd had a lot of fun flirting with Spencer on the phone from Penelope’s office during the case. The woman was an inspiration, even if her flirting had a completely different purpose and meaning than your own. Her friendship with Derek Morgan was admirable, but you didn't want to be friends with Spencer Reid. 

“Hello, handsome, what can I do for you today?” You asked, picking up the phone and basking in the stammers that answered you down the line. 

“D-Do you need me to get Morgan for you?” He said, his voice treading lightly. 

“Unless Derek Morgan has, overnight, managed to turn into a 6’1 Doctor with a penchant for cardigans and leather satchels and an IQ of 187, then I am absolutely not looking for him. I have case details.” 

He brushed past your comment, but he kept the slight stammer through the conversation, right until you signed off. 

“Until next time, sexy.”

“Um, yeah… thanks…beautiful?” he signed off, and you guffawed in laughter even as Penelope stared wide-eyed in your direction, not believing her ears. 

“Please forgive our little test tube genius. We forgot to add flirting skills to his childhood curriculum, and now, alas, the poor thing doesn't know a damn thing.” 

He'd called back a few hours later, and you'd purred more compliments down the line, but this time with the team surrounding him as they closed in on your unsub. 

“Hello, this is beautiful speaking. How may I help you?” You giggled down the line, picking up the call after only a single ring. 

“Y/N,” he breathed, catching his breath awkwardly as he struggled to remember why it was you were needed. 

“So… um, like… Hotch has a question about the files you sent earlier. He needs Penelope to… do something as well.” 

You could almost see the awkward nod through the phone. 

“Great. Pass me over to Hotch, then, hot stuff.” 

You heard the tell-tale sound of Derek Morgan’s cackle in the background, and you couldn't help but let another giggle slip out. You were a gonner, and, hopefully, so was he. 

The case wrapped quickly after that, spree killing being a quick game of cat and mouse out of necessity. You weren't happy with three bodies, but it sure as hell was preferable to more. 

You greeted the BAU team at the jet hanger as they returned, reclaiming your fraud files for paperwork and using that simple chore as a reason to get close to Spencer again. 

“Good work out there, Doctor Reid.” 

“What, he's not hot stuff anymore now he's in front of you?” Emily Prentiss laughed, throwing her go bag onto her shoulder and trailing behind where you'd started strolling alongside Spencer. 

“Oh, he's still hot stuff. He's just hot stuff with three PhDs that just stopped a spree killer,” you said, sighing dreamily. “How do you do it?” 

“We were all there too, you know,” the other woman chuckled as you made it inside the building and to the elevator. 

“Yeah, well,” you said, taking a second to reach out and straighten out Spencer's skewed tie, smoothing his jacket and generally just touching him in whatever way you could, respectfully. 

You didn't even bother to finish your sentence, just leaning closer to his ears and whispering directly into them. 

“You're very cute when you're flustered, Doctor Reid.” 

You stepped away for a second while the rest of his team teased him, stepping to the back of the elevator to ascend to your floor while the others departed on theirs. 

They filed out one by one and you sent them off with a smile and a wave, signing in defeat as you realized there was no longer a reason for you to interact with the good doctor ever again. 

If you weren't so stupidly aware of him, you'd almost have missed the fact that Spencer didn't leave the elevator when his teammates did. He instead turned to you and, with the brightest red you'd seen on his face to date, stammered out half a sentence. 

“I.. Y/N, I was just… curious, if you, by any chance…” 

Your eyes widened in joy as you anticipated his question, silently begging him just to spit it out. 

“I was wondering, i-if you had… a boyfriend?” By the end of his sentence, even he seemed unsure of whether that was a question he should really be asking. 

You'd been throwing heart eyes at him for says, and he was asking if you were in a committed relationship. 

“No,” you said slightly breathily, as if your body were trying to expel all the anticipation it had stupidly built up. “No, I don't have a boyfriend, Spencer.”

“Great okay,” he smiled, a boyish grin if you'd ever seen one, before backtracking quickly.

“Well not great for you, great for me. Not that you can't be happy alone, I don't know how you feel about…romantic entanglements and I-I-I’m not saying that your life isn't,” he searched for the words with his hands, as of he could grasp them as a life line while he was sinking fast. “-Great without a boyfriend or anything like that, I'm just - really - pleased that position is currently… vacant?” 

“Spencer?” You said, feeling like a cat who got the cream as a smile twitched at your lips, pulling the corners up as you listened to him ramble. 

“Yes?”

“Do you want to be my boyfriend  or are you asking for a friend?” 

You'd meant the words as a joke  but he stood contemplating for a second. You pushed a hand against your mouth to suppress the childish squeal from popping out. 

“It would be a bit presumptuous to shoot straight for boyfriend, right? How about date ....partner?” 

You couldn't stop yourself from closing in on him then, practically cornering him in the elevator as the floors passed you by.

“Presumptuous would be thinking I could have a boyfriend when I've been begging you to stick your tongue down my throat with my eyes for the last half hour. I thought they taught you body language at the BAU?” 

“They teach us how to catch criminals, not how to see when someone is giving us…fuck me eyes, Y/N.” The curse left you a little dizzy - this was it, this was what you'd been trying to do all week, to get under his skin and get him to let his guard down so you could capture him. 

“Doctor Reid, I'm a little scandalized! I didn't know you swore. What a dirty mouth you have.” You reached up with both hands, letting your thumb on his lips before pretending to wipe something away at the corner of his mouth. You were in the perfect position to notice his throat bob as he swallowed.

The elevator pinged at your floor, and you left him behind you with one last swipe of your fingers at his chin. You weren't expecting him to follow, but he did.

“Y/N…please, Y/N…. Can we just…?” You relished the awkwardness in his voice as he trailed you again, a satisfied smile settling onto your face. 

You just kept walking. Or you did until you felt a large hand wrap around your wrist and pull you sideways into the nearest storage cupboard. 

You gasped as he pinned you to the wall, close not, but his eyes still hesitant on what to do next. 

“Spen-” He cut you off with his lips on yours, silencing you before you could get the final word. His lips were clumsy at first, but you felt hot under his touch  arching yourself up into him. His tongue pushed into your mouth as he found his stride, your hands tangling in his hair as you held on for dear life.

This was it. This was what you'd been waiting for. 

Reluctantly, he pulled away, both of you gasping for breath to fill your suddenly empty lungs. 

“Was that….what… you wanted?” He panted, resting his head on yours. 

There were no words. It was what you wanted but now you wanted more, needed more. You settled for a quick nod as your tongue flamed, unable to say anything helpful. 

“Good. Great…” he removed his hands from you and scratched at the back of his neck, putting a more respectful distance between the two of you as he cleared his throat. 

“I'll just-” he pointed to the door and started making his way out. You sighed again, watching him walk away down the hall, his hair a mess, his tie askew, and a whole lot of your lipstick staining his lips. 

Surely, he'd notice by the time anyone else did. If not, you'd just effectively staked your claim on Doctor Spencer Reid, and you couldn't be happier about it.  

#spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfic #mgg #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fandom #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid fandom #spencer reid x reader fluff #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x self insert #🐇 anon

[confused-pyramid]

You're the Only One Who Knows to Slow it Down | s5

pairing: aaron hotchner x childhood bsf!reader

summary: Hotch and his childhood best friend working together at the BAU: a slow burn across the seasons.

word count: 16.2k

warnings: canon!typical violence, mentions of abuse, major character death, gun violence, drinking, specific episodes mentioned in this part are 5x01, 5x02, 5x06, 5x09, 5x10, and 5x21

a/n: This season was really hard to write at points (I think we all know which eps I'm talking about lol) but I'm looking forward to brighter days ahead:') Also we get some more tangible tension so yay! Title is from Look After You by The Fray

series masterlist

"We're not working a case," Derek states matter-of-factly when you arrive at the crime scene. You were woken up early the next morning after getting back from Canada, and on less than four hours of sleep, your brain is struggling to function.

"Why call us to a crime scene?" you ask, walking up to the front door of the house with the rest of the team.

He shrugs. "I was hoping you knew."

You look around, trying to find Aaron, but he's nowhere in sight. He had promised to put in the team request for a few days of leave, but you presume the call came in before he got a chance to do so.

The local police let you survey the scene, explaining that a Dr. Barton got a threatening letter that someone would be murdered everyday that he didn't give up his own son. Once you're done inspecting the body, you turn to JJ, lowering your voice. "Where's Hotch?"

"He's not answering his cell," she says, her lips thinning. "I assume it's on vibrate."

You nod. "I'll try him again."

You step away from the group and click his number in your speed dial, listening to the rings until it reaches his voicemail. It's unlike him to keep his phone on silent, but you know the previous night was tough on everyone. "Hey, it's me." You tell him the address you're heading to for the case, before turning towards the car and lowering your voice. "I know you're probably just asleep, but I don't know...I have that weird feeling again that you know I get...so please just call me back." You take a deep breath, hoping you're being overdramatic, and that you'll see him pull up in a few minutes. "See you soon."

When you get to Dr. Barton's house, he still hasn't called you back. You sit with the doctor, Prentiss, and Reid in his living room, going through his recent patient files, while Morgan, JJ, and Rossi head to the school to find his son.

"Something set this guy off," Emily explains as you start poring over the records. "Odds are it's in your files."

You manage to get through about a dozen before Dr. Barton stands up with a sigh. "My son is leaving school in five hours. There's no way we can get through all of these patients in time."

You check your phone again, mostly to see the time, but you also note that there aren't any new calls or messages. "He's right. We need more eyes on this. I can get Hotch and be back in a half hour."

"Keep us updated," Emily says, nodding at you. Concern flashes across her eyes for a millisecond, and you're sure it reflects the look in yours.

The drive to his apartment doesn't take long, and you stalk down the hall, all the way to the end, until you find his door. There's no answer the first time you knock, so you reach for the spare key he gave you, but before you can use it, you realize the door is already unlocked.

Your heart drops into your stomach and you pull your gun out, using it to push open the door carefully. "Aaron? Aaron, it's me."

When the door is ajar, the sight before you almost makes you drop your gun. There's a large bullet hole in the far wall, along with a patch of drying blood and bits of broken glass on the floor. His phone is on the ground as well, and his gun and holster are lying on his dining table.

You crouch down on your heels, trying to calm your breathing, as you take in your surroundings. You need to think logically about this, or you'll be no help at all.

A few things come to you as your mind clears.

His car is still outside.

No blood splatter around the bullet hole.

No drag marks.

You dig your hand around your back pocket and pull out your phone, dialing Garcia as fast as you can. "Overtime shift, Penelope speaking."

Her chipper voice usually calms you down, but right now you need to cut to the chase. "Garcia, it's me. Something's happened to Hotch. You need to get an APB out on him."

Her breath stutters. "What do you mean, something?"

"There's blood on the floor," you whisper, willing your voice not to crack as your throat thickens with tears. "There's also a bullet hole in the wall, probably a .44."

"I'll send the whole team," she says before you cut her off.

"No, don't call the team. They need to finish the case we were assigned. Just tell Emily, since she's expecting me back, but send every other agent in the vicinity."

"On it."

The line clicks off and you release your breath, before standing up again. While you wait for the crime scene techs, you poke around his things in the main area, trying to see if anything has been taken or moved. The only thing you notice before they arrive is that a page has been ripped from his address book.

"Agent L/N?" a voice calls from the doorway.

You lift your hand. "Yeah, in here."

They come inside and get to work immediately, so you step out, just in time for Garcia to call you back. "Y/N, I checked local hospitals for his name, and I didn't find anything at first, but then one of them told me something really strange."

"Garcia," you whisper through gritted teeth. You love her, but she needs to hurry up before you explode. "What was it?"

"Someone dropped off a John Doe at St. Sebastian hospital, and that someone's name was FBI Agent Derek Morgan."

Your vision turns black for a moment. He's back. Foyet's back.

You're rushing to your car before she has a chance to hang up.

***

He's still under anesthesia when you arrive at the hospital. He was stabbed nine times. That's what the nurse told you when you flashed your credentials and asked for any information she could give you.

Now, you're standing in his doorway, trying to build up the nerve to approach his sleeping form. Even with all of the bandages covering his arms and abdomen, he somehow looks peaceful. It's been so long since you've seen his brow unfurrowed, his forehead smooth, without the tension that invades his daily life.

After a few minutes, you take a step inside, then another, and suddenly you're right beside him, reaching out to clutch his hand over the bedsheet.

His skin is cold, and you wrap both hands around his to warm it up, if even by just a little. He's usually a furnace, generating his own heat even when it's freezing out, but whenever he gets hurt, his hands turn to ice.

After a minute, your phone buzzes in your pocket and you let him go to answer it. It's just Emily telling you that she's at the hospital with the rest of the team, and you walk out into the hall to talk to them.

Rossi is the first to reach you. He squeezes you into a hug before getting back to business. "You sure it was Foyet?"

"He had Morgan's credentials," you nod, rubbing a hand over the back of your neck. Derek glances at you then, and you press your lips together with a nod.

"Did they catch him on the security cam?"

"You could see him dropping Hotch off," you explain, trying to keep your voice steady, "but the camera's only on the entrance, so I have no idea what direction he went once he left the hospital."

Emily shakes her head. "It doesn't make sense for him to have brought Hotch to the E.R."

The nurse from earlier approaches you then, pulling your attention. "Agents, he's waking up."

You shuffle inside and take his hand again as everyone walks in.

His voice is soft when he opens his eyes. "Where am I?"

"In the hospital," Emily whispers, taking care to be mindful of her volume.

He shuts his eyes for a beat. "How did I get here?"

"Foyet drove you." Rossi doesn't frown often, but the lines of his face are clearer than ever. "Can you remember what happened?"

Hotch shakes his head, closing his eyes. "What did he take? The Reaper always takes something from his victims."

"There was an address page missing from your day planner," you whisper, finally finding your voice. "In the B's."

His eyes snap open and he tries to lift his head from the pillow, but he can only wince. "Where are my clothes?"

Emily hands him a plastic bag filled with his belongings, and he ruffles through them, until he finds his wallet. When he opens it, a photograph is stuffed inside, covered in blood spatter. Haley and Jack.

Your breath catches, and he seems to realize what it means at the same moment you do. "Haley's maiden name is Brooks. I always listed her in the B's in my personal information in case it fell into the wrong hands."

You squeeze his hand involuntarily, and he exhales sharply. "He knows where they live."

***

When the rest of the team rushes off to his old house, you stay with him at the hospital. You get a call soon from JJ that Haley and Jack are just fine, and you are finally able to breathe easy for the first time all day.

"They're okay," you tell him when you hang up the phone. "That was JJ. She said Haley was home and Jack's at a playdate, but Morgan is going to pick him up right now."

He nods slowly, his body relaxing into the bed. "Good. That's good."

"It is," you say, eyeing his movements. It's still enormously difficult to look at him like this, but you won't be able to move forward if you don't know the truth. "Aaron, what happened? What did he do?"

"I don't remember all of it," he says slowly, clearly taking his time with each word. There's no rush, and he knows it. Even if it takes him hours to get it all out, you'll still be here. "I remember him being there when I got home, after I dropped you off. He fired off a shot into the wall, and then I tried to tackle him, but..."

He trails off, and you squeeze his hand tighter, as though trying to tether him to the present moment. After a few shallow breaths, he continues. "I tried to tackle him, and I got him on the ground, but then he overpowered me." You can almost see it in your mind. The picture he's painting as he weaves over the details with startling clarity. "The first one hurt the most."

The first stab. Your eyes close for a beat, like you're trying to hide from his words. The first of nine.

"I don't remember much after that." You can tell he's leaving things out, but you also don't know if you'll be able to handle it if he does tell you everything.

"That's okay," you whisper as his eyes droop down. "You should rest."

He nods slowly as the exhaustion takes over and his grip loosens around your hand as he falls asleep.

You wait by his side for about a half hour, until you spot a familiar face (with a new haircut) dawdling in the hallway.

You stand up in a fervor. "Oh, thank god."

You rush over to Haley and pull her into a hug, which she returns just as forcefully. "JJ called us when she found you, but it's still really good to see your face."

"It's good to see you too," she says with an exhale before letting you go. You look down and see Jack standing next to her, his mouth downturned as his fingers twiddle at his sides. "Do you mind staying with him while I go talk to Aaron?"

You turn around and see that he's blinking his eyes open again. "Not at all." You take Jack's hand with a smile and lead him down the hall.

"I'm sorry if the big men scared you," you tell him once you find a few seats in the waiting area. "I know it was all very sudden."

To your surprise, his face breaks out into a big grin. "Uncle Derek let me turn on the siren!"

"Wow!" you smile, feeling warm laughter echo around your chest. "That sounds super fun."

He nods ecstatically, before leaning his head over to look back up the hall. "Can I see Daddy now?"

Your smile falls as fast as it appeared and you take his hand again, pressing his fingers between yours. "Soon, baby, soon."

***

He wakes up to the sound of faint talking. He can vaguely see you hugging someone, and he blinks a few times to clear his vision as you disappear down the hall.

"How do you feel?" Haley asks as she walks into his hospital room. She doesn't come further than the foot of the bed, but he's just glad to see her here, in one piece.

He clears his throat quietly. "I'm gonna be okay." She doesn't look convinced, but he doesn't want to focus on him right now. "Did they explain to you what's happening?"

She nods slowly, looking at him for another moment. "They said the Marshal's service is taking us straight from here and putting us into protective custody."

She looks upset, and it takes him back to the lowest moments of their relationship. "Haley, I'm sorry."

She looks down and the familiar urge to comfort her returns, even while lying in a hospital bed. "Do you know where they're gonna take us?"

"No, I don't." He tries to catch her eye but she won't look at him. "And that's the point. I can't know where you're going. If you have any contact with anyone, then he could track you."

She finally looks at him then, and her sadness is tinged with exasperation. "Jack has school. He has friends. I have a job now."

He doesn't know what else to say but: "I know. I'm sorry." He hopes he's conveying what he means, but it doesn't feel like enough. "We will catch him, and you'll come back, and I promise that I will spend the rest of my life making this up to you."

She nods minutely, and he takes the small comfort. "Are you sure that we're in danger?"

"Yes." There's little else he's been more sure of.

"And what about you?" she asks, her voice small. "Are you gonna be safe?"

He doesn't want to worry her, but he also doesn't want to lie. "He wants to see me suffer. Knowing that my son is out there and that I can't see him is better than killing me."

Her brow pinches and she pushes her short hair back from her forehead. "Jack wants to come in."

He tries to argue at first, not because he doesn't want to see him, but because it will only make it harder to let him go again, but eventually she convinces him to accede.

She leaves to go get him, and he leans back on the pillows, trying not to let himself sink inside.

~

Haley finds you in the waiting area, with Jack sitting on your lap, in the middle of a game of I Spy.

"Is he ready for him?" you whisper when you see her approach. She nods and you lift Jack off your lap and set him on his feet. "Off you go, buddy. Time to see Daddy."

"Yay!" he cheers before racing down the hall, you and Haley right behind him. She steers him into the correct room, and he jumps onto the bed before either of you can stop him.

There's a quiet chorus of 'be careful's before he grunts, "Don't worry. It's okay. The doctors made sure that I'm completely fine." He turns to the small boy with a smile you haven't seen in days. "Did Mommy tell you that you two are gonna take a trip?"

Jack nods once, moving his chin up and down dramatically. "Yeah."

"So I'm not gonna see you for a while."

Jack frowns. "Why?" The word sounds so small out of his mouth, and your heart cracks in your chest.

"Well, think about it like when Daddy goes away for work. Only this time you and Mommy get to go someplace."

Jack ponders this for a few seconds, before crawling up again and wrapping his arms around his dad's neck. "Are you okay?"

"I'm very proud of you." It's a father's answer. The kind of response that doesn't tell the truth, but hides the pain with love. "Every single day. I'll see you soon, okay?"

"Okay."

Haley says another goodbye and grabs Jack's hand before leading him out of the room. She gives you another hug, squeezing extra tight for the last second. "It's not his fault."

"Of course it isn't," you whisper, letting her pull back.

"No," she whispers, closing her eyes. "I mean, don't let him blame himself for this."

He's one of the most stoic people you know, but he can also be so transparent sometimes. "I won't. I'll be here."

"He needs you," she says with a sad smile. "He's always needed you, but he especially needs you now."

She doesn't let you respond before she's tugging Jack down the hall. You watch as she exits the side door of the wing, and only turn back when you can't see her anymore. She's one of your longest friends, and you won't be able to see her or her son for god knows how long.

When you step back into the room, you stand at the foot of his bed, trying to gauge what he needs from you, but then you see his expression. Tears prick the corners of his eyes and his mouth twists as you rush forward and grab his hand, squeezing it between yours with the grip of someone holding onto a life preserver.

"They'll be okay," you whisper, trying to keep your own tears back. "We'll get through this."

He nods, his eyes still shining. You move to sit in the chair beside him, but he tugs you back, pulling you closer. You understand the desperate look in his eyes, the need for connection and comfort from someone you care about that you've seen in yourself on so many occasions.

Slipping your shoes off, you tuck the sheet into his side and carefully climb onto the little hospital bed, taking care to avoid any of the wires and tubes. Once you're sure you're not pulling on anything, you curl up beside him and wrap yourself around his arm. His skin is warmer than it was earlier, and you take solace in the fact that he's going to be okay. Maybe not now, but he will be.

Your breaths synchronize with his and you listen to the beeping of the heart monitor as your own heart rate calms down. There's a feeling tugging at your spine, filling you up and threatening to spill over, but you shove it down, knowing it will be too much right now. You don't have the words to describe the emotions circulating through your brain, so you stick with what you know. "I love you." It's quiet, barely a whisper, but you know he can hear you. "Thank you for staying alive."

"You're welcome," he whispers back, his voice barely audible over the monitor. "I love you too."

***

You leave the hospital the next morning with a plan. He's still asleep when you wake up, so you get up carefully and thank the nurses one more time before heading out.

You make two stops on the way to his apartment, and this time, you use your spare key to unlock the front door. The crime scene crew cleaned the blood off the floor, and you told Rossi to get them to spackle the hole in the wall, for at least a temporary fix, but there's still an air about the place. It was just starting to feel like his home, and now it's soiled, once again.

You shut the door behind you and drop your bags to the ground, surveying the place one last time for any damage or mess you missed earlier. When everything seems fine, you get to work.

An hour later, you slump back against the wall and toss the packet of instructions to the ground. In front of you is a freshly installed security system, with a door proximity sensor and keypad for when he leaves the house in a hurry.

You can already hear the arguments coming, but you don't care anymore. You won't be able to sleep knowing he's in here, all alone, without anything to keep Foyet from coming back and finishing the job.

For someone who has as little of a technical background as you do, you're impressed with how quickly you were able to get the system running, and you test it a couple of times, turning it on and off and checking the doors, before you finally pull his door closed and lock it behind you.

***

The doctors don't release him until the end of the week, but once he's able to walk again, he calls you to get him from the hospital. By the time he signs his discharge papers and makes the phone call, you're already almost there, and as much as he hates putting you out on a weekend, he can't help the satisfaction that rumbles through him.

The drive to his apartment is mostly silent, with him just trying to stay still as you take the turns carefully, and drive five under the speed limit. When you arrive, you hold the bag of salves and ointments for him as you take his arm, helping him down the hall and to his front door.

He moves to grab his key, but you stop him with a forceful "Wait!"

"I can unlock my own door," he grumbles, but you just shake your head, taking the key from him and turning it slowly in the lock. The moment it swings open, a loud beeping fills the air, and you rush forward to type something into the keypad by his door. Wait...keypad? "When did tha-"

"Before you argue," you jump in, clearly anticipating his disgruntlement, "it's for me, okay."

He raises an eyebrow and you glare at him, but there's no effort behind it. "I mean, it's obviously for you, but still...it's for my peace of mind too."

You're rambling makes him crack a smile for the first time in days, and he nods slowly. "Okay."

Your mouth snaps shut and you look at him with a meek smile. "Okay."

You help him get settled on the couch, and he waits there as you scrounge up some food from the kitchen. He's not sure he has anything perishable, but you manage to put together a comforting bowl of pasta with jarred tomato sauce that makes him feel a little more at home.

As the evening turns to night, he catches himself glancing at his watch more often than not, and eventually you catch on too.

"Is it time?" you ask, your voice gentle.

After a breath, he nods, and you reach across the coffee table to grab his bag of supplies from the doctor. You lay the salve and extra gauze on the table, and wait for him to make the next move, a decision he accepts gratefully.

He's been injured before. He knows how painful it is to sanitize a wound, and especially one as deep and grotesque as his. He just needs a few moments to accept the fact that he's...scared.

"I can do it," he says once he's ready, before reaching for the salve. The simple motion makes him wince and you jump in right away, grabbing it for him and undoing the top.

"Let me," you whisper, your words somewhere between a statement and a question. "Please."

He can already feel his stitches pulling, just from the simple act of swiveling his body to face you, so he gives in with a quick nod.

He doesn't look at you as he undoes the buttons of his shirt. He's not embarrassed - you've never pitied him, even at his lowest moments - but he needs the semblance of privacy as he exposes his injuries to the open air.

The air feels cold as he pulls his undershirt over his head, and you get to work immediately, peeling back the old layer of gauze as slowly as you can. The sections directly over his wounds stick slightly, and he grits his teeth against the pain as you gently tug them free, making sure to avoid pulling his stitches.

"Do you want a break?" you ask once the gauze has been fully removed. He shakes his head, needing this to be over as soon as possible, but when he meets your eyes, he sees them welling up with tears.

He glances down at his bare torso, his eyes darting over the jagged scars ranging from his stomach to his collarbone. Your breath stutters as you take it in with him, and he looks at you. "He made sure we'd match."

He sees you rapidly blinking away the tears that rush forward, and he wants to comfort you somehow, but he doesn't know what to do. You help him lean back on the armrest, so you can apply the salve around each of his injuries, and as your fingers press into his skin, he can't help but be reminded of his childhood. The pressure of your hands as you wrapped him with bandages, the warmth of your breath when you leaned in to inspect your work.

It's usually a sad memory when he thinks back to his childhood, but with you, it was always good. He watches as you slowly tape the new layer of gauze around his abdomen, and even as tears slide down your cheeks, the way you look at him doesn't change.

"All done," you whisper after pressing on the final pieces of tape. "How do you feel?"

Anxious. Terrified. Lonely. Guilty. "Good. Thank you."

***

"Hey, it's Emily."

"What's up, Em?" you say, your phone pressed between your ear and shoulder as you hop around, trying to get your shoes on before work.

"How was your weekend?"

You pause. "Fine?" The question isn't out of the ordinary, you're just not sure why she called to ask you that when she's going to be seeing you in person in about twenty minutes. "How was yours?"

"Oh, you know." She sounds distracted, and you feel a smile pull at your lips as you realize she's avoiding something.

"Em...is there a reason you called? You know, given that we're both on our way to the same place."

She clears her throat, and you hear the indecision in her voice, even over the phone. "I know this is kind of a weird question, but would you mind if I picked up Hotch for work this morning. I left late last night, so JJ was able to brief me early, and I figured he could use a headstart."

You stop your movements, straightening up and lifting your hand to your cell. It's not at all what you were expecting her to say, but that's not all you're confused about. "Yeah, of course. You don't have to ask me first, though. We're all teammates."

She makes an little noise that you don't recognize. "Yeah...but you two are different."

You don't know what to say to that, so you just wait for her to keep going. Emily was never very good at uncomfortable silences, so after a few moments, she's back. "Anyway...I'll grab Hotch and see you in 30?"

You try to hide your grin, even though no one can see you. "Sounds like it."

"Bye."

The phone clicks off, and you tuck it back into your pocket, still smiling. You're already in a better mood than normal, because after 34 days of medical leave, Aaron comes back to work today.

You finish clasping your shoe and head out the door, more relaxed this time. With Emily picking up Aaron, you're not in a rush anymore. You take the drive at a leisurely pace, and when you arrive at the office, you run into Spencer by the front of the building.

"Wait up!" you call out, jogging over to him before he gets in the elevator. "Let me get that." You slide the strap of his book bag off his shoulder and sling it onto yours. He nods in thanks and tucks his crutch under his arm as he presses the button for your floor.

"I thought I'd be used to the crutches by now, but I keep tripping over everything." You scrunch your brow with amusement as he frowns down at his leg. "The doctors say it's healing well, though."

The elevator doors open and you step in front of him to get the door across the hall. "Does it hurt?"

He shrugs. "It really only hurts when I think about it, which is pretty much all the time."

The statement isn't exactly comical, but his deadpan tone makes you snort as you hold the door, and he smiles as he passes by you. You follow him to Garcia's lair, and she perks up upon seeing the both of you.

"My babies," she grins, pulling out a chair for Spencer. "Sit, sit."

You let out a laugh as you place his bag on the floor next to him. "I'm older than you."

"Who's counting?" she throws back, typing something furiously into her computer. She turns around a moment later, just in time to swat Spencer's hand away from the tin of cookies sitting on her table. "No, no, no."

"What?" he complains, gaping at her.

She swats him again, before pulling the tin away from him. "Get away, you. These are for Hotch."

"Butterscotch?" you ask, glancing down at the box. His preference for butterscotch cookies was something you used to tease him about when you were kids. Butterscotch Hotch.

Penelope nods and lifts the edge of the lid, implicitly offering you a cookie. When you take one, Spencer throws his hands up into the air. "Why does she get one? I get shot in the leg and I still don't get any cookies."

You laugh and break off half of your cookie, which he takes from you the moment it's in your palm. He stuffs the entire thing into his mouth, not bothering to swallow it before he pipes up again. "You know he's gonna hate the attention."

"It's cookies," Garcia pouts, "not cake."

Spencer shrugs. "He's probably gonna pretend like nothing happened, anyway."

"Well, it doesn't mean we have to."

You don't know how to weigh in to this discussion, mostly because you know more about how he's feeling than they do, but also because the idea of speculating on his recovery without him here feels like a betrayal.

"What do you think?"

You look up and realize that Spencer was directing this question to you. Swallowing down the last bit of your cookie, you cough once to clear your throat. "I think he's been through a lot, but sometimes coming back to work is the best way to take your mind off of things. Foyet was in his home. I don't think staring at the same walls that used to have bullet holes in them is exactly healthy either."

Spencer and Penelope both stare at you for a moment, before nodding and looking down. They remind you of two children who have just been reprimanded, and you smile to soften the sentiment. "I love you guys for caring about this, but we just have to trust that he's okay."

"Yeah," Penelope nods, reaching forward to squeeze your hand. "Are you okay? This can't have been easy for you, either."

"I'm fine," you say too quickly. "Nothing happened to me." It's not a lie, exactly. You weren't the one who was stabbed. Nine times. "I've just been keeping him company after work, and helping with some of his post-hospital care checklist."

"He's lucky to have you," Penelope says softly, to which Spencer nods.

"He was great too after I got shot," you add, feeling oddly defensive of your friendship. "He stayed with me for a long time when my dad was gone."

She smiles at you sadly, before holding the tin out for you. "Want another cookie?"

You let out a weak laugh as Spencer chuffs behind you, and you shake your head. "No thanks."

"Do you think he'll like them?" Her voice sounds earnest, and you nod, knowing what it's like to want so desperately to understand someone who's as closed off as he seems at times.

"Spence, Y/N, there you guys are."

You turn around to see JJ, her face lined with tension. "Are you ready for us?"

She nods. "Grab your go bag."

***

He's been erratic all day. When he snapped at Garcia earlier for missing the antipsychotics link, you wanted to throttle him, especially when you remembered the cookies she had waiting for him in her office.

The thought that maybe Spencer was right keeps flashing through your mind as you watch him get frustrated with everyone, including himself. When you all arrive at the Darrin Call's father's house, where he and a young boy he kidnapped are waiting, Aaron instructs Emily to speak with the lieutenant on scene to figure out what you're dealing with.

"The kid's in there," you hear him say, "We've got this. Tactical teams are covering the exits. Call needs a distraction. He's focused on the old man."

Emily glances back at the house as she ties her hair back. "For now. But we're gonna have to figure out the safest way to get that kid out."

"I've got a team in the back and one on the way. We're going to infiltrate."

"You do that and someone else dies."

The man just shrugs. "Either Call or a child murderer...flip a coin."

"It doesn't have to end like that." You can see how hard she's trying to make the lieutenant understand, but sometimes the locals just don't listen. "We get a confession out of Jarvis and he goes away, and Call gets his answers. No one else has to die."

There's movement behind you and you turn around at the last second as Aaron stalks past you and towards the house.

"Hotch," you call out, but he doesn't look back. "Aaron. Aaron!"

He's almost at the front door, and your feet start moving without you realizing it. You make it within a few feet of the front gate before two pairs of arms seize you from behind, halting your momentum.

"Let him go," Dave whispers as he and Derek release you. "We have to trust him."

"He's not thinking straight," you grit out, unable to tear your eyes away from the closed door as you step forward again. He wasn't wearing his vest, and you can't remember if you saw his gun in his holster. You close your eyes, wracking your brain. Think, goddamnit.

Derek grabs you again as you try to make a break for it, anticipating your movements before you even know what you're doing. "Rossi's right. We have to trust him. We can't help him if we rush inside now."

"We can't help him out here either!" Your voice sounds frenzied in your ears, but he doesn't loosen his grip, even as you try to shove him off of you.

"You know we're right." He looks at you sternly, and your resolve diminishes as reason starts to set in. "Going inside will only make it worse."

Emily comes up from behind you and takes your arm, leading you back to the street in front of the house. You back up, but you don't turn around, ready to rush in the moment anything changes.

"What's he doing?" she asks Derek, her voice quiet, like she doesn't want you to hear.

"Stalling," he says simply. "He's got nothing to lose."

Your breath catches and you lift your hand to your chest, clutching the top of your vest like it's a lifeline. You want to scream at them, scream that he has everything to lose. He has a son, and an ex-wife who loves him, and he has you.

"You got the shot?"

"Negative."

He suddenly appears in the front of the door, but you can tell he's angling his body to block the visual of the shot. What is he doing?

The door opens for a split second, and the little boy runs down the porch and into the arms of one of the SWAT members. It shuts as fast as it opened up, and you only manage to see his face for a moment before he disappears into the house again.

For a minute, there's only silence, until the air is pierced with the sound of three gunshots, one after the other. Your body visibly flinches and you throw yourself forward and over the gate, pulling out your gun at the last moment as you breach the front door.

When you storm into the living room, Aaron is putting cuffs on Darrin. The father is dead in his recliner at the center of the room.

"What happened?" Dave asks from behind you.

He purses his lips. "I couldn't stop him." It's then that he finally looks up at you, but all you can do is glare. You don't know if you've ever been angrier in your life, and definitely not at him.

His brow dips with a mix of confusion and remorse, but you just stuff your gun back in its holster, spin around, and stalk out of the house. The fresh air outside feels like a welcome respite from the emotions swirling around inside of you, and you turn your face to the sky as your brain fires off millions of questions at once.

When did he get so reckless?

Is this all because of Foyet? The need to feel like he's getting something done, with his family on lockdown?

He comes out of the house then, and you're practically shaking from the relief that he is okay, but the anger isn't fading. You can feel it flooding your veins with each breath you take.

He hands Call off and approaches you slowly, stopping in front of you with a look you don't recognize.

"This is the job," he says simply, his voice almost cold. "You know what you signed up for."

"I know what I signed up for?" Your face twists with disbelief and you look at him with contempt. "Fuck you, Hotch." His face drops slightly and it only feeds your fight. You know him better than anyone else in this world, and that also means you know exactly how far you can push him until he cracks.

"This is what we do." His voice is tight, and you see your anger reflected in his eyes. "You knew that when you joined the team."

Emily and Dave exit the house, and you can feel their eyes flickering over to you, but you can't bring yourself to care right now.

"No," you grit out, shaking your head. "You don't get to be angry with me. You don't get to say that to me."

He looks at you for a beat before his face falls and you see all the fight leave him. He sighs, his brow pinching. "You're right."

You can practically see the war going on inside his head. The battle between fear and action, where there are no winners.

You nod as you look down at the ground, and he reaches forward to take your hand. He squeezes it tightly, before lifting it to his chest. "Y/N." I love you, I'm sorry.

You nod. "I know." I'm sorry too.

***

You've been looking at the text JJ sent you for the better part of an hour. Something's going on. Strauss was in Hotch's office and it looked bad.

You're reminded of his suspension and the two long weeks you worked here without him, and you internally resolve that it won't be happening again if you have any say at all.

The next morning, you're one of the last people to arrive, and you walk into a conversation that Spencer is having with Emily at his desk.

"You're not gonna believe this," he says, turning to you and lifting his hands dramatically. "Some moron just posted a blog called 'What would Carl Sagan do?' and it's completely illogical."

"L/N, what did I miss?"

You spin around to see Derek strutting into the bullpen, his phone held up in his hand.

"What do you mean?" you ask with a frown.

He looks at you expectantly, and you start to feel like you're on the outside of something you should know. "All the emails from Hotch..."

You yank your phone from your pocket and refresh your email. "I don't have any new ones."

"Me neither," Reid chimes in from next to you.

Derek doesn't wait another moment before he's barreling past you and up the stairs to Aaron's office.

"What was that about?" Spencer asks, a confused look on his face.

"I don't know," you say honestly, "but I think we're gonna find out soon."

~

"You wanted to see me?"

He nods and you step into his office, shutting the door behind you. Ever since his private conversation with Derek this morning, you've been obnoxiously curious about what's been going on with the team, but you also know when not to overstep your boundaries.

"Take a seat." He beckons to the couch on the far wall, and he sits down across from you when you plop down. "We have to talk about something."

"If you say Strauss suspended you again-" He cuts you off with a lift of his hand. You look at him sheepishly and nod. "You were saying..."

"This is going to sound odd, but just hear me out." You're starting to get worried, but he doesn't look anxious, so that's a start. You nod, and he continues. "The bureau thinks that my ability to lead this team has been compromised. They've been questioning me since Foyet's attack, and they're not entirely wrong."

You want to refute this, but you've also been questioning some of his actions as of late. Nevertheless, that doesn't mean that you won't have his back if it comes down to it. "They can't fire you. The whole team will fight back if they even try."

He looks at you with something that resembles concern. Concern? "They won't fire me...because I'm stepping down."

"What?" you burst out, unable to help your volume. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm resigning as unit chief at the end of the week, but I'm not leaving this team."

You think you have an idea of where this is going, but his eyes are still tracking your movements, like they do when he's worried about how you'll react. You don't know how it could get much worse than this, but then you realize he hasn't told you who will be replacing him.

"I told Morgan to take my place until we catch Foyet."

There it is. You don't expect it to sting as much as it does. "Oh."

Your voice sounds small to your own ears, and you clear your throat to keep the emotion out. This isn't a personal decision, it's professional. If Strauss was telling you this now, it probably wouldn't faze you. So why does it hurt coming from him?

"Strauss wasn't happy with your decision to not take the New York position," he explains, his eyes finding yours. "You know I think you deserve more leadership roles. It was her that suggested Morgan for it, and I couldn't argue when she was already so unsure about letting me promote internally."

"I get it," you nod. Your tone a bit sharper than expected, even though you understand where the decision came from. Derek deserves this position too. "I do, I promise."

He raises his eyebrows with a check in, and after a moment, you finally nod. It's okay. We're good.

"I'll see you in the morning?"

You dip your chin. "Good night."

***

"I can't believe Hotch is stepping down."

Penelope, Emily, Spencer, and JJ are all unabashedly watching Derek as he briefs Strauss on the case he chose for today. You've been trying not to look, but every few minutes, something snags your attention.

"Morgan said it's business as usual," Emily adds, her brow furrowed as she watches them converse.

Penelope doesn't seem eased. "So we're just supposed to move forward without any discussion?"

Spencer shrugs. "After Foyet, I think we'd have to be ready for anything."

Derek finishes speaking with Strauss then, and you stand up as he asks Emily to call Rossi for the briefing. He looks official with his ironed button-down, and you can't help but wonder if he's trying to emulate Aaron.

You flash him a cheeky smile as he walks towards the conference room, but he just brushes past you. 

~

Derek steps into his new role effectively, and you even notice him provide extra feedback to everyone throughout the case. Hotch has a bit of a difficult time stepping down at first, but you know it comes from habit, not distrust.

When you're back at the office later that night, you look up to see that he is still in his office, furiously jotting something down, even though his responsibilities have been greatly diminished. You don't know why you expected the demotion to make him want to cut back a bit.

Derek is the only person still in the bullpen when you take a seat again. You finished up the last of your paperwork, so you start to pack up your stuff, but then your interaction from earlier crosses your mind again.

Latching your bag closed, you stand up and perch on the edge of Derek's desk. "Hey, boss, how's the responsibility feel?"

"Fine," he mutters, his tone snippier than you've ever heard it.

"A lot more paperwork than you were expecting, huh?"

He doesn't look at you, so you reach forward to tap the back of his hand. "Derek, come on, what's going on with you?"

You brace for him to snap at you again, but then he just sighs, setting his pen down. "You're not angry with me, right?"

"What?" You don't know where this is coming from, seeing as how he's been the one who's been avoiding you all day. "Why would I be mad at you?"

"Why?" he repeats, his face twisted with disbelief. "I basically stole this position out from under you."

You shake your head forcefully, putting your hand over his on the desk. "Not even close, hon. Anything on my end was bureau politics, but that's just one side of it. You deserve this just as much as I would have. You've even been at the BAU longer than I have."

He's silent for a moment, before he turns his hand under yours and clasps it gently. You give his hand a squeeze before bringing your other one up to his cheek. "You're doing a great job. You were an amazing leader out there today. Hotch picked you well."

Derek leans into your hand for a beat, before letting out another sigh. "Thanks."

"Seriously, Derek," you say with a smile. "This might have been one of his best professional decisions yet."

That makes him laugh, before shaking his head. "Nah, his best decision was bringing you to this team."

Your chest fills with warmth and you lean forward to pull him into a hug. His arms are strong as they wrap around you, and you settle into the hug, turning away from the office light upstairs and trying to ignore the fact that Aaron hasn't looked up from his desk since you started talking.

***

"Agent Hotchner, before you go, there's one final thing I'd like to share with you."

Karl Arnold, the Fox, has been taunting each of you throughout the whole day, and right when you finally thought you were done, he drew you right back in. You follow Hotch and Prentiss back into the interrogation room.

"So you think you found my admirer."

"No," Aaron says simply. "We found the killer."

Arnold grins. "With my help, of course."

"Your admirer is exactly like everyone who contacts you..." Emily sneers, "lost."

Arnold turns to her, and the look in his eyes makes your skin crawl. "My love, your guy is far from lost."

Hotch shakes his head, turning to the door. "We're done."

"So is he." All three of you spin back around, much to his amusement. "'Look at what I have done.' It's quite brilliant, you know?"

"We will find whoever sent you that."

"No, Agent Hotchner, I rather think he's already found you."

Aaron immediately starts flipping through the file on the table, shoving pictures and papers aside as he searches for something. Something about Arnold's tone sends your mind reeling and you grab the journal in front of you and start flipping through it as well.

"What's going on?" Emily asks, coming up behind you.

Arnold just laughs. "He's torturing him."

"Who?"

He ignores her. "It's great to see you squirm, Agent Hotchner."

You reach one of the bookmarked pages, and the symbol that greets you almost makes you drop the journal. "Aaron..."

His eyes snap to your hands as his skin turns white. "Foyet."

The three of you rush out of the interrogation room, accompanied by the disturbing sound of Arnold's laughter echoing behind you.

Just before the door shuts behind you, you hear his final words. "He knew you'd come."

***

The whole team spends days with only one goal in mind: find and capture Foyet. JJ works with you and Garcia to track prescription medications that he would be on given his self-inflicted injuries, and Spencer, Emily, and Aaron put together a geographic profile using the letters from the Fox and the proximity of nearby pharmacies. Derek's role as acting unit chief keeps him busy all on its own, but he manages to keep the team on track as he turns any new cases that come in to other teams.

When JJ returns from a local pharmacy with the discovery that many prescription meds have over-the-counter alternatives, the focus shifts. Garcia narrows down the list, and brings back a list of names that is way too long to feasibly question.

"153 names," you huff, leaning over her shoulder as she scrolls down the list.

Emily frowns. "Well, he's not gonna use his own name."

"What kind of aliases should we be looking for?"

You all consider this, before Derek chimes in. "He could have easily stolen someone's identity."

Hotch shuts that idea down immediately. "No, he's a narcissist in love with his own mythology. He'd use a name connected with the case."

"A victim, maybe," you guess, "or a cop?"

Garcia doesn't find anything on the initial search, but thankfully Spencer suggests another approach. "Guys, Foyet likes things to have meaning to him. The eye of providence, the addresses in blood he wrote on the bus that led us back to him. Maybe he's doing the same thing with the alias."

Emily frowns. "Like an anagram or something?"

Spencer walks over to the white board and writes out George Foyet, before fiddling around with the spellings of possible anagrams. You walk up behind him and follow his movements along the board. "You see something, Spence?"

He shakes his head. "Not yet."

"Spencer," you interrupt as the realization comes to you, "he named himself The Reaper."

He pauses for a beat, before switching over to scrawling out possible anagrams for The Reaper instead. After a moment, he's done. "Peter Rhea."

Penelope is already searching. "There's a Peter Rhea in Arlington."

Rossi nods, a satisfied look on his face. "We found him."

***

Garcia sends out the address of an apartment in his name, and you drive over with Hotch, who doesn't say a word the whole way over. You keep glancing at him, trying to be discreet, but the tension in his posture doesn't fade, even after the breakthrough.

The apartment ends up being empty, but when you all go inside, there's a laptop sitting on the center table. Emily dials Garcia the moment you realize that the files on it are being remotely deleted, and when she hacks in, she comes across a series of surveillance photos that make you gasp out loud. "Oh my god, isn't that-"

"That's the US Marshall protecting my family." His face looks frozen with stress as he dials Marshall Kassmeyer's number. When the call goes to voicemail, Aaron stalks out of the apartment and to the SUVs parked out front. He doesn't wait for you to get in, before he's already driving off.

"Where is he going?" Emily calls out as she exits the building behind you.

"Kassmeyer's house," you say, almost certain that you're correct. With the knowledge that his family is most likely in immediate danger, there is nothing anyone could do to stop him from trying to save them. "I'm gonna follow him."

"Here," Rossi says, tossing his car keys to you. You accept them gratefully and speed off down the road.

~

Kassmeyer is bleeding out when you get to his house. Aaron is already inside, trying to get him to explain what happened, and when he describes how Foyet taunted him and stabbed him, you resist the urge to take Aaron's hand.

"Sam," he says suddenly, leaning over him. "I need to understand. Does he know where Jack and Haley are?"

Your heart rate skyrockets as Kassmeyer mumbles another apology. If Foyet knows where they are, you don't know if any of you will be able to get there in time.

The paramedics rush in then, and they carry Sam out to the awaiting ambulance as he refuses sedation. Aaron runs out after them and throws himself into the back of the ambulance before you can catch up.

~

Without any new leads, there's nowhere for you to go, so you wait out front in your SUV as you wrack your brain for where Foyet would have told Haley and Jack to go. You don't know how long it takes until another agent calls you from the hospital with the news that Marshall Kassmeyer died in surgery.

The news hits you like a ton of bricks. One more body you can attribute to The Reaper. "Is Agent Hotchner there?"

The voice is tinny over the line. "He took one of the SUVs and left a few minutes ago."

"Where?" You can hear how frantic your voice sounds, but you don't care. "Where did he go?"

"I'm not sure," the agent says. "He sped away before anyone could ask."

You hang up the phone and turn the car on, before pulling onto the street and calling the team line. Garcia picks up on the first ring.

"Sam died in surgery," you explain as you turn at the end of the street. "Hotch is already gone, but I'm gonna go to the hospital now in case someone has more info."

"Okay, honey," she says, patching in the rest of the team. When they answer, she repeats your statement, before she gets cut off. "Guys, Hotch is calling Foyet."

"Patch us in," Derek instructs over the line, before going silent. You mute yourself as well, before turning back to the road.

"Agent Hotchner."

Foyet's voice makes you nauseous, and you can practically hear the grin behind his words.

"If you touch her..." Aaron doesn't even finish the threat, but you can feel the rage within it.

"Be gentle, like I was with you?"

Your eyes prick with tears as you remember the scars that are now a permanent fixture on his body. The matching scars. The idea of Haley ending up the same way, or Jack-

"What the hell took you so long?" Foyet complains, his tone playful. "I was beginning to think this phone was dead or something."

Aaron doesn't answer him, and the anger is almost palpable over the line.

"Why so quiet? You usually lash out when you're frustrated."

"I'm not frustrated," he finally responds. "You're more predictable than you think."

"Am I?"

He starts to recount the tale of Foyet's life, weaving in details that you didn't know from his childhood and the pain he was causing before he was even old enough to drive. You suppose this was what all of those late nights at the office were for. You hope they were worth it.

"That's the thing, George," he continues, his voice suddenly softer. It's like he's pleading with him. "This isn't a fairy tale. You don't have to write this story. Haven't you gotten what you wanted?"

There's silence for a few moments, and you can hear your heartbeat in your skull. Eventually Foyet comes back. "You know what I've been thinking? Haley looks pretty good with dark hair."

Your heart falls into your stomach. He has her. He already has her.

"She's lost some weight. Must be all the stress you caused her."

Just when you think that might be the worst of it, he continues. "Where's the little man? Oh. There he is. Does he like Captain America because of you?"

He has them both. You can barely see the road through the anger and fear that is coursing through your veins. Another phone rings and Foyet answers it, leaving his line with Hotch on as well. "Mrs. Hotchner. I'm here. Open the gate and I'll drive in."

You can't hear her reply, before Foyet returns to the call you're listening to. "Aaron? I really gotta go."

The call disconnects, and you can't breathe. Open the gate. The gate. What gate?

Think, think, goddamnit think.

The answer hits you like a truck. "His house. They're at his old house."

Emily whispers something that sounds like "shit" and you swerve across the lanes to make a u-turn. "I'm heading there now."

Assuming Aaron was already heading back after leaving the hospital, he would reach the house before any of you. You can only hope he'll be there in time.

Your knuckles have turned white from how hard you're gripping the steering wheel, and when Garcia patches you all in for another call from Foyet, the tears are already flowing down your cheeks.

"Aaron?"

It's Haley's voice. You gasp out loud from the relief that she's still alive.

"You're okay?" She sounds so scared, but at least she's alive. That's all you can focus on right now.

Aaron answers with a defeated sigh. "I'm fine."

"But...he said that..." The realization hits her, and she lets out a small sob. "Oh, Aaron."

"He can hear us, right?"

"Yes."

His voice is softer then, wet with tears. "I am so sorry. Haley, show him no weakness, no fear."

"I know." Of course she does. She was married to a profiler for years. She knows what all of this means, but she doesn't deserve any of it. "Sam told me all about him. Is he, uh..."

"No," he says gently. "Sam is fine."

Foyet's voice is like the hiss of a snake as it joins the call. "Aaron, Aaron, Aaron. Is that why your marriage broke up, because you're a liar?" His voice is too close to the phone. You want to scream for him to get away from her, but you're not supposed to be listening, and your car isn't moving fast enough.

"He's trying to scare you, Haley." His voice is trembling, and you can hear the tightness behind each of his words.

When Foyet mentions the deal, your stomach roils with nausea. You can picture the exact look on Aaron's face as he blames himself for this entire situation, even though it's happening to him, not because of him.

"Don't react."

Haley's voice is shaking too as she whispers, "What is he talking about?"

"Tell Jack I need him working the case."

"What?" She sounds confused, and that's when you remember the signal he told you about. The words that only Jack knows that are meant to keep him safe from situations exactly like this.

"Tell Jack I need him working the case," he repeats, his voice steadier. But all of it goes away the moment Haley hands her son the phone.

"Hi, Daddy."

"Hi, buddy." His voice cracks and you feel your heart crack with it. The tears are rushing down your cheeks now, and you wipe them out of your eyes with the back of your hand as you get closer to the house. But not close enough.

Aaron tells him to work the case again, and he gives Haley a hug before rushing out of the room.

"He's so cute. He's like a little junior G-Man." Foyet chuckles, before yelling out. "I'll be right up, Jackie boy!"

Aaron ignores him, and you feel his focus return. "Is he gone?"

"Yes." Haley's voice is strong, and you release a single sigh of relief as you press the gas pedal down as hard as you can.

Aaron's voice returns and you can hear the anguish as he speaks. "You're so strong, Haley. You're stronger than I ever was."

"You'll hurry, right?" The fear in her voice breaks your heart, and you want to assure her that you're all doing everything you can, but you're still a few streets away.

"I know you didn't sign on for this."

Neither did you.

She echoes your thoughts. "Neither did you."

His voice breaks into a sob. "I'm sorry for everything."

"Promise me that you will tell him how we met and how you used to make me laugh."

"Haley..."

"He needs to know that you weren't always so serious, Aaron." Her words sound so final, and you can't imagine what Foyet is pointing at her right now, but you can only hope that Aaron gets there before it's too late. "I want him to believe in love, because it is the most important thing. But you need to show him." She sounds almost resolute, and your body floods with hope for a split second. "Promise me."

His breathing is ragged as he whispers, "I promise."

Three gunshots ring out and the wheel jerks in your hand as a painful sob wrenches from your throat. No, no, no.

~

You race out of your car the moment you pull to a stop in front of the house. There's only one other SUV outside, and you don't give yourself a moment to think as you rush inside, lifting your gun at the last second.

The front foyer is empty, but then a jagged thumping fills the air and you dart around the corner to find Aaron beating Foyet to a pulp. You can tell from where you're standing that he's already dead, but that doesn't seem to matter to him.

"Aaron!" you yell, hoping to break his reverie. His hands are covered in blood as he pounds the man's face in, and he doesn't look up until you grab him from behind and yank his arms back. "Aaron, he's dead. He's dead."

He stops moving, and for one single second, everything is still. Then his body pitches forward and he breaks down as he sobs, his hands coming up like he's begging for the pain to go away.

You clutch him as tightly as you can, like if you hold him close enough, he won't fall apart. You can hear the voices of your teammates as they enter the house, but then his head lifts and he pulls himself up, dashing down the hall. You follow after him, rushing past Morgan and Rossi, and you realize where he's going in real time as he runs into his office and kneels down beside his desk.

Please, please, not him. Just not him. He opens the cabinet and you all share a gasp of relief as Jack's little face peeks out, his skin unmarred.

"I worked the case, Daddy. Just like you said."

Aaron reaches in and picks him up, before squeezing him tightly, his little face glancing around the room in confusion.

"You did a great job, buddy." He releases him after a few moments, before handing him off to JJ to go outside and away from the carnage littering the house. You press a kiss to his forehead before she lifts him up and walks out of the room.

Emily looks at you then, concern flashing in her eyes, but you just nod, and she follows JJ, pulling the door closed behind her.

You turn back around just in time to catch Aaron as he collapses to the floor. The weight sends you both to your knees, and he crushes you to him as you hold him as tightly as you can. His sobs mix in with your own, and you try not to let your body shake from the force of your crying, because you need to be strong for him.

He buries his face into your neck, his tears mixing with the blood on his face as it soaks your shirt and vest.

"I'm so sorry," you whisper into his hair. It doesn't feel like enough, but there's nothing else to say. "I'm so sorry."

~

Derek and Emily come back with the paramedics eventually to take him outside to check for injuries, and you're about to follow after them when something catches your eye. A pair of feet invade your periphery as you glance through a doorway down the hall. Oh god.

Your knees buckle and Derek catches you before you stumble forward into her room. You fall to your knees beside her, and you vaguely hear Emily whisper something behind you before there's just silence.

Her eyes are already closed, and if you really wanted to, you could try to pretend that she was just sleeping, but there's too much blood. You reach out to push her short hair back from her forehead, so that you can see her face one last time. One last time.

A sob rips out of you and you take her hand, pressing it to your lips. The scene is suddenly too much, and you close your eyes before letting out a shaky breath. You don't know what your life is going to look like without her presence. What Aaron's life with look like, or Jack's.

You squeeze her hand again before laying it on her stomach, and Emily comes forward then to help you up. Derek holds the door open as she leads you outside, and helps you tear your vest off the moment you hit the fresh afternoon air.

You bend over, hands on your knees, gulping back fresh air and trying not to throw up. Emily pats your back as you take in deep breaths, rubbing comforting circles that help to calm down your heart rate.

When you look up, you spot Aaron sitting on the edge of an ambulance. The medics are cleaning his cuts, and one of them is holding an ice pack to his head, when you walk over to survey the damage.

He doesn't look up when you approach, instead staring at his bloody hands with a look you can't discern. You can't imagine what he must be thinking right now, but if you know him at all, you know that sometimes you don't need to talk.

You reach down and take his hands, holding them in yours with a tight grip that forces him to look at you. Neither of you says anything, but it's okay, because there is nothing left to say. There will be soon, but not right now.

***

"We'll be back in a couple of hours," Jess tells you as she slings her purse over her shoulder.

You nod at her as you pick Jack off the ground and swing him up into your arms. "Take your time. We'll be hanging out here."

Aaron beckons for Jess to walk out in front of him before he dips his chin at you. "Thank you again."

"Of course," you smile, shaking your head. They're going to make the last arrangements for the funeral, and the absolute least you can do is watch Jack while they're away.

"Can we watch cartoons?" Jack asks the moment the front door shuts behind them.

"Soon, baby," you laugh lightly, before placing him on the ground and leading him to the kitchen. "We gotta make lunch first."

You throw together two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and bring them to the breakfast table, where Jack is obediently scribbling away at his coloring book. "Here you go, Jack-o-lantern."

He takes a massive bite before you can sit down, but over the next ten minutes, he only manages to finish about half of the sandwich. "I'm done."

"You sure?" you ask, scrunching your face into a playful frown. "I think you got at least a couple more bites in you."

He shakes his head forcefully, before dropping the sandwich onto his plate. You know he doesn't usually eat much, but he hasn't eaten since breakfast hours ago. "Come on, hon, at least another big bite."

"No!" he yells, pushing the plate away from him. Before you can stop him, he jumps off of his chair and races out of the kitchen, towards his bedroom.

You hear the door slam shut behind him, and you heave out a sigh before clearing away both of your plates and wiping down the counter. You don't fault him for anything, you just can't believe he has to go through something like this.

He's so young. Younger than you were when you lost your mom. There's some comfort in the fact that he likely won't remember this pain when he's older, but then comes the nausea. The sickening reminder that one day he'll forget about her. Haley, his mother, your best friend's wife, your friend.

You slowly make your way to his room, knocking on the door twice before calling out his name. When he doesn't answer, you twist the knob and gently open the door. "Jack?"

He doesn't say anything as you cross the room and sit on the floor in front of him. He's fiddling around with a set of colorful wooden blocks, and he only looks at you once you pick one up yourself. The edges have been worn smooth from being tossed around, and you run your fingers against them as you wait for him to speak.

"Did Mommy want to leave?"

You can practically hear your heart crack in two as the block falls from your hand. Tears spring to your eyes, but you blink them back, not wanting to scare him.

"No, baby, no," you say quickly, reaching forward to rub your thumb over his cheek. "She loved you more than anything in this world."

He still doesn't look convinced, so you rest your palms on his cheeks, trying to get him to look at you. "If it was her choice, she would have never left you."

After a moment, his lips jut out into a pout, but he nods once. "Is Daddy gonna leave too?"

The tears rush forward again. You want to tell him that Aaron would never leave him, that he may be gone most nights until after Jack is asleep, and sometimes even before he's up for breakfast, but he would never leave. But you also know that Haley didn't want to either, but sometimes the job takes more than you're willing to give. "He's not going to leave you. Not if he can help it."

That seems to calm him down for the time being, so you take his hand and lead him back to the living room. Once he's situated on the couch, you switch on his cartoons for him, turning the volume down low.

He settles into the cushion next to you, his arm resting on your thigh as he focuses on the screen in front of him, while your eyes wander down to the small tv stand. They land on a framed photo of Haley and Jess together, smiling at the camera as the sun shines down on their faces, and you lift your hand to your mouth to stifle the tears that rush forward.

When your eyes pan over to the photo of you and her, with Aaron and Jess right behind you, the tears stream down your cheeks, and you wipe them away quickly, trying to be quiet so as not to call away Jack's attention. But the cartoons are too quiet, and when a small sob escapes, Jack looks up, his brow furrowing with a look reminiscent of his father. "Are you okay?"

"I'm okay, baby," you nod, forcing a smile onto your face as you look down at him and press a kiss to his temple. "I just loved your mom very much."

***

The ground is still wet from the rain. It squelches beneath your feet as Jess clutches onto your arm, letting you lead her across the cemetery for the service.

You walk behind the pallbearers as they bring Haley to the top of the open grass and set her down carefully with a reverence that brings tears to your eyes again. You don't know if your eyes have been dry at any moment today, but the tears haven't spilled over yet. It's only a matter of time.

Aaron is ahead of everyone, looking down at the small sheet of paper in his hands, with Jack by his side. The young boy looks so small in his suit, and his eyes dart around the procession with a mix of confusion and sadness that pierces your chest.

When Aaron is ready to begin, Jessica lets go and walks up to stand on his other side, tears streaming silently down her cheeks. Your arm feels cold where she used to be, but it doesn't last long as another hand takes its place. You turn your head to see Spencer, one hand on his cane, and the other on your arm, as he holds you tightly to his side, his eyes brimming with tears as well. You don't expect that there's a dry eye in the crowd.

Aaron starts his speech with a quote, but the steadiness in his voice starts to waver the moment he says her name. "Haley was my best friend since we were in high school."

You remember how fiercely he loved her, even back then. The tenacity with which he pursued her when he realized that she was someone he wanted to spend his life with.

His voice continues as his eyes dip down. "We certainly had our struggles, but if there's one thing we agreed on unconditionally, it was our love and commitment to our son Jack." Your tears surface again, but you suck them back with a deep breath. "Haley's love for Jack was joyous and fierce. That fierceness is why she isn't here today."

Aaron looks up then, and his eyes land on the casket in front of him. "A mother's love is an unrivaled force of nature. And we can all learn much from the way Haley lived her life."

His hand flexes at his side, and you wish desperately that you were up there with him, holding his hand like he held yours when your mother died.

"I will make sure that Jack grows up knowing who his mother was and how she loved and protected him and how much I loved her."

His voice breaks and he reaches into his pocket for the scrap of paper he was looking at earlier. "I met Haley at the tryouts of our high school's production of 'The Pirates of Penzance'. I found our copy of the play and was looking through it the other night, and I came upon a passage that seemed appropriate for this moment."

The quote comes back to you as he recites it, and your mind flashes back to those adolescent afternoons when you would watch him make a fool of himself trying to impress Haley at play practice. You can't help yourself as the tears finally fall, and you feel Spencer squeeze your hand tightly, acting as the lifeline you so earnestly need.

When he finishes his speech, everyone comes forward to place white roses on her casket before it is lowered into the ground. You wait as the crowd slowly dissipates, as everyone heads to the repast, and you hold Jess's hand while Aaron picks Jack up, holding him tightly.

"Blow Mommy a kiss," he whispers, before leaning over to let Jack place a rose on the casket.

His brow furrows as he straightens again, and you watch as the familiar stoicism returns to his posture. He isn't pushing all of his emotions down, exactly. He's just tucking them away, so as to be there for his son, who needs a solid figure in his life, now more than ever.

And that's what he'll be.

***

The repast is bustling with people from all eras of Haley's life, and you sit with the team at a large table, staring at your plate of food. When Dave pulls Aaron outside to talk, you watch them leave, noting the stiffness in his shoulders as he's forced to leave Jack with Jess again. She has been nothing but grateful to see her nephew more often than usual, but nonetheless, he wears his guilt like a jagged scar across his face.

Penelope clutches your hand under the table and you give her a weak nod, unable to do more with all of the energy drained from you.

"It was a beautiful service," Emily says, her eyes big and soft as they look at you.

You nod again, before turning back to your full plate. You can't bear the thought of stomaching any food right now.

Then just when you think the day can't get any worse, Derek and JJ's phones chirp with a message at the same time. No. No.

"They can't be calling us in," Emily sighs, her lips thinning, "not tonight."

JJ shakes her head. "I'm on it." She returns from her phone call a minute later with a forlorn look. "There's no other team available."

Derek gets up with a sigh. "I'll get Rossi."

When he returns with Dave, leaving Aaron alone on the deck, you squeeze Penelope's hand before walking outside. The air is cold, and you wrap your shawl tighter around your shoulders as you approach him.

"It's okay," he says before you can open your mouth. "I'll see you when you get back."

Mind reader, you think for a split second.

He has already given you the blessing you assumed you needed when you came out here, but it still doesn't feel right. "I don't want to go."

"It's your job," he shrugs. Like it's that simple. "It's okay."

"Are you sure?" You won't be able to do your job with him here, but even less so if you're feeling guilty the whole time. "I can take time off."

"No," he says quietly, shaking his head. He looks out into the night air, and you take his hand, squeezing it between both of yours. "It'll be good for me to have some time with Jack."

You can understand that. You pull him into a hug, before dipping your chin into a nod and leaving him out there again.

***

His return to work hasn't been easy. When Strauss gave him the option to retire with full pension and benefits, it should have been an easy decision, but something was tugging at his gut, telling him that would be the wrong choice.

Now he's sitting in his office, and all of his recent life choices are swirling around him like a hurricane ready to close in. He misses Jack like he's missing a limb, and he feels terrible for how often he's been relying on Jess to take care of him, even though she readily offered her help.

His emotions are a tumbling mess, and he doesn't notice that his fingers have been tapping the edge of his desk until you enter his office.

"Coffee?" He looks up with a nod, accepting the steaming cup you hand him, before you flop down on the couch across from him. "What are you thinking about?"

He swallows back a scalding gulp that likely scorched his throat on the way down. He wants to push his emotions down and say something quippy that won't distract you for more than a few moments, but tonight he needs reassurance more than he's willing to admit. "Did I come back too early?"

He expects an immediate and bombastic denial, but you just sit there, stirring your black coffee as you tuck your legs under you. "I can't decide that for you."

It's a diplomatic answer, but he needs guidance, and he doesn't have anyone else to go to. Not that he would go to anyone else even if he did. "Do you think I'm jeopardizing the team by being here?"

This time, the answer is immediate. "Of course not. You've been doing your job effectively, and no one can say otherwise."

He pauses for a moment, ruminating over your words. He knows he's not asking the right questions. He's just delaying until he has to accept what he's feeling.

With a shaky breath, he sets his coffee down and looks at you. "Am I jeopardizing my family by being here?"

Your brows pinch. "Jack will be okay. He's young, and he'll miss you, but you're his hero, Aaron. He loves you because you keep him safe."

"But I'm never home." His voice sounds ragged to his own ears, and he's certain you can hear the pain clawing out of his throat. "How am I doing my job as a father if I'm never there?"

"Aaron," you whisper, drawing his eyes back to yours. "You're keeping him safe by catching the bad guys. He knows that. And that's what he needs." You fix him with a look that makes his back straighten. "Okay?"

After a moment, he nods. "Okay."

***

"Hi, Hales."

You sink down onto the bench in front of her headstone, before pulling the baggie of peach rings you brought from your pocket. They were the only candy you liked from your high school's vending machine, and the two of you would share them between classes during your senior year.

"I should've come sooner, but work's been really busy."

You've only visited her once since the funeral six months ago, and you wish you could've come by more, but sometimes being here is just too much. It's too stark of a reminder that she's never coming back.

You pop another peach ring in your mouth, before breaking into a grin. "Jack's growing up so fast. He's so resilient, it's amazing." He has already adjusted to living in his father's apartment full time, and he seems to like hanging out with you or Jess whenever he's stuck at work late. "I wish you could be here to see it all."

You wish for a lot of things these days. The loss seems to keep piling up, and you don't know what to do or how to feel most of the time, but time keeps passing. And with it, so does the grief.

"Aaron's starting to get better too." You don't know what you believe, but a part of you suspects she knows all of this already. "The transition back was hard on all of us, but he doesn't look as defeated all the time anymore." Your lip twitches. "He even smiles at my jokes sometimes."

You swear you hear her laughter over the rustling of the wind, but it's probably just in your head. "Anyway, I just wanted to come see you. Let you know how much we miss you."

You stand up, grabbing the bouquet from next to you, and walk over to the headstone. Without thinking, you reach into your bag of candy and drop a peach ring into the dirt. It feels juvenile, even as you're doing it, but you can't help yourself. She would find it funny. You know she would.

You tuck the rest into your pocket and walk across the grass to another row of stones. It's not a quick stroll, but it gives you enough time to take a few deep breaths before you face him again.

Jeff Adler. The letters jump out at you like flashing lights, and you blink a few times as the magnitude of your loss washes over you. So many lives, so much love and warmth gone from your life.

Bending down, you place the bouquet of carnations in front of his headstone, before kissing your fingertips and pressing them to his name.

***

"You've got to be kidding."

He just shrugs, but there's a small smile tugging at his lips. You make sure to keep your voice down as you toss your cards into the center pile and lean back against the bottom of his couch.

After putting Jack to bed, neither of you could think of anything quiet to do until Aaron pulled out a deck of cards from below the tv stand.

"I hate that you're so good at this," you grumble, watching as he deftly splits the deck and starts shuffling again. This being Go Fish.

"You're good, too," he concedes, flashing you an amused look that you don't share.

"Yeah, but you're better."

"As with most things."

You throw a card at him, but he dodges it easily. When he's finished shuffling, he deals out a card, before pausing. "We can play something else if you don't think you can beat me."

"Just deal the cards."

He lets out a low laugh and deals out another card, just as both of your cellphones chirp at the same time. You share a look before dropping the cards on the table. He stands first and gives you a hand up, which you accept.

"I'll call Jess," you whisper as he strides over to his bedroom to get his go-bag. You dial her quickly, and get the confirmation that she's coming over, before grabbing your own bag and heading out to his car.

***

"Sorry to ruin your night."

Everyone is in casual clothing when you walk into the briefing room with Aaron on your heels. JJ shoots you an apologetic look which quickly turns to surprise when Rossi walks in wearing a full tux.

"What, are you working on, wife number 4?" Derek laughs as he sets his bag down.

Dave just grumbles. "I see you people way too much."

"I hear that," you grin before taking your usual seat between Aaron and Spencer.

"Let's get started." JJ hands out the case files and clicks the screen on. "All right. Anchorage field office is asking us to investigate a series of murders in Franklin, Alaska. There's 3 people dead in less than a week."

You scan the file as fast as you can, but Spencer beats you to it. "For a town with a population of 1,476, that's fairly significant."

JJ nods. "It's their first murder investigation on record."

"Who are the victims?" Dave asks, his eyes darting back and forth between the file and the screen.

JJ looks down at her notes. "Uh, Jon Baker, a hunter. Dedaimia Swanson, a schoolteacher. Brenda Bright, the first mate on a fishing boat. There's a new victim every 2 days."

Everyone seems to be thinking the same thing, but Emily gives it a voice. "Any connections?"

"Unfortunately, in a town this small, everyone's connected."

When JJ finishes up the briefing, Aaron stands up and grabs his bag. "We'll fly out tonight. Everybody can sleep on the plane. Garcia, I need you with us."

She shoots him a confused look. "Sir?"

"I've tasked a satellite uplink and it's your job to keep us connected."

"Yes, sir."

"This town's already on the brink," he continues with a sigh, "and if this pattern continues, we've only got another day until the next murder. Let's finish this fast."

***

After barely getting any sleep on the plane ride over, and a long day in the cold, the team holes up in the lobby of a local inn, warming up around the fire.

"I'm gonna pull an all-nighter," Garcia announces when you stifle a yawn behind your fist. "I'll finish going through the town records. Should have background checks by sunrise."

"Good," Aaron nods, sitting up on the couch. "The rest of us should get some sleep, start fresh in the morning."

At his suggestion, the innkeeper steps out from behind her desk. "I've got four of the upstairs rooms available."

"Uh, 4?" Spencer squeaks, his eyes darting around the room.

"Come on," the sheriff sighs as he stands up, "that's the best we can do. Your team is double the size of my department." He glances at Aaron and they share a nod. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Good night."

The sheriff walks out of the inn and you lean back on the couch, turning your head to the side to look at Aaron. The question in your eyes is implicit. What's the plan?

"It looks like we'll have to double up," Emily answers for you, her lips stretching into a grin.

Derek speaks up immediately. "I'm not sleeping with Reid."

Penelope reaches over and grabs Derek's arm. "Dibs."

Emily and JJ stand together and head upstairs, and you glance at Aaron with a nod. "Let's find one of the double rooms before Emily snags it."

"Guess it's you and me, kid," Dave says to Spencer as you grab a key from the front desk and pick up your bag. The inn is so small that all of your rooms end up being in the same hallway. You leave the door open behind you as you step inside and toss your bag onto the nearest bed.

Aaron enters after you and locks the door, before wordlessly moving your bag to the other bed, away from the door. It takes you less than a second to realize why. His protective nature was always strong, but over the past year, it has kicked into overdrive, especially around you and Jack.

"Do you want first shower?" you ask as you unzip your bag and pull out a tee shirt and some sleep shorts.

"You take it," he says, shaking his head. The chilliness of the outside air hasn't left your bones, so you don't wait for him to change his mind before grabbing your toiletries and rushing into the bathroom.

While you're in the shower, Aaron takes his time fluffing out the comforter and pillows on his bed. The room itself isn't very spacious, but he doesn't mind sharing with you. The close quarters remind him of his youth when he would sneak into your room late at night to get away from his family. Just the sight of the lights through your bedroom window used to bring him peace. When he glances over at your side of the room, a tranquility washes over him, and he realizes that the feeling hasn't really gone away.

"Your turn," you say a little later when you emerge from the bathroom. Your skin is still slightly damp, and your cheeks are pink from the heat of the shower, and he has to tear his eyes away as he nods and steps around you.

The tiny mirror in the bathroom is still steamy when he shuts the door behind him and pulls off his shirt, and he lifts his hand to wipe it off, before pausing. His scars aren't something he likes to think about often, but after saving Jack, they took on a different image in his mind. He felt less like a victim.

He rubs his hand against the mirror to wipe off some of the condensation, and his reflection looks tense as it stares back at him. Back in the room, your presence felt warm and comfortable, but in here, with the steam fogging up the glass, and the scent of your perfume lingering in the air, something else roils in his gut.

It's a not-so-unfamiliar feeling that used to be commonplace when he was younger. It hadn't reared its head in years, but lately, it's been so much harder to push it down. When he sees how much his son loves you, how much he looks forward to finding you in his apartment when he gets back from a late meeting. It's been...hard.

He turns on the shower and steps in, letting the hot water wash away the notions tickling the edge of his brain. When he walks back into the room, you are tucked into your bed, the covers up to your chin.

"You look like a burrito," he notes with a small laugh.

You shrug, though it's barely visible from under the comforter. "I find this is the best way to keep out the Arctic chill that seems to have invaded our lodgings."

"Fair enough."

He slides into his own bed and clicks the switch on the wall to turn the lights off. He tries to sleep for a few minutes, but even though he's exhausted, it won't come.

It's dark enough that he can't see his fingers in front of his face, but the uneven sounds of your breathing let him know that you're still awake.

"You should really sleep," he whispers into the darkness.

"You first," you say after a moment, before your voice lowers. "How are you doing? How are you holding up, I mean."

"How are you doing?" he asks, knowing he's being unfair.

You don't let it slide this time. "You're deflecting."

"I know."

There's a pause before he finally concedes. "I think I'm okay. The normalcy is coming back, and Jack is doing a lot better, which helps immensely."

"Me too," you say after a beat.

He wants to let the subject go and try to sleep, but the words are pulling at his throat. "I miss her all the time."

"Me too," you repeat. You huff out a husky laugh, but there's no humor behind it. "God, me too."

There's a tinge of bitterness in your voice that he recognizes in himself, but it's not something he knows if he can explain. He remembers how a small part of you blamed Jeff after his death, but that's nothing like what he's feeling. He blames himself for everything but the act itself, knowing that if he had just gotten there quicker, or taken the deal, or taken the transfer-

His breath catches and he hears you rustle under your covers. He imagines you turning to face him, and as his eyes slowly adjust he sees that he was right.

"Do you remember that time in high school," he says suddenly, not entirely sure where he's going with this, "when I got detention."

"I'm gonna need you to be more specific."

He laughs, in spite of himself, and turns over to face you as well. You're so far away, but he can just barely make out your face from across the room. "When you broke me out."

Your laughter is sudden and it echoes around the small room as the memory hits you. "I do remember that. I told them your grandfather was in the hospital so that they would let you out. God, Mrs. Parker was so upset when she went to get you."

"I think my favorite part of the story was that both of my grandfathers died before I could walk."

You chuckle, your voice softer now. "I know."

His chest warms at the memory of the two of you running out to your car and driving to get a scoop of chocolate at your favorite ice cream shop. Even afterwards, you had driven around town for hours, without a complaint, and he hadn't mentioned the time once. It was so soon after his dad's death, and he hated going home for so many reasons. Sean hated him, and his mother was sad all of the time, and it was like you just knew.

"You were good at reading me," he whispers, almost to himself.

"Were good?" you ask with mock offense.

He snorts. "Fine, are good at reading me."

"That's more like it."

***

You drop your empty glass back on the table, feeling the burn of the liquor as you swallow it down. It's your second drink of the night, and while you usually don't indulge in more than one, you welcome the chance to let loose.

Everyone else seems to be in the same mindset, because JJ, Emily, and Penelope are in various states of drunkenness around the booth, and the men are either nursing a drink or driving.

"Let's dance," JJ shrieks, lifting her head off of Will's shoulder and pushing herself up from the booth.

"Hell yeah," Emily grins, pulling you and Penelope up with her.

JJ tries to corral the guys to join, but they all stay firmly seated. Dave and Will look content as they sip their whiskey, and Spencer doesn't budge, citing his leg hurting (a lie). After a bit of targeted shoving, Derek chuckles and gets up for one dance, following Penelope and JJ onto the dance floor.

"Aaaaaron," you slur, tugging his arm. He doesn't move even an inch, but the corner of his lip twitches when you don't give up.

"You used to dance in college," you point out with a frown.

Emily hoots as she saunters over to the floor. "This I need to see."

Aaron just shakes his head with a smile, and you eventually oblige, joining the ladies (and Derek) for a few dances. The dark atmosphere of the club has you feeling looser than you have in a long time, and after the next song, you join Dave over at the bar to get another drink.

You down half of it before you leave the counter, and by this point, JJ has coaxed Will out of his seat, while Spencer rushes off to find the bathroom. The tiredness hits you as soon as you finish the drink, and when you spot Aaron by himself at the booth, you glide back to keep him company.

He doesn't notice you at first as you walk over to him, and you can't help but register that he looks good in his undone button-down. You take another step forward and a thin glint of metal around his neck becomes visible. A jolt of heat shoots down your body and you set your glass down on a nearby table without looking as you approach him.

When you reach the edge of the bench, someone walking by bumps into you and you stumble forward. Aaron grabs onto you as you fall forward, and you end up crushed in his arms, your face just inches from his. Your thoughts cut out and you don't make a sound, your breaths coming out in quick spurts.

Neither one of you moves as you look at each other, so so close, so much closer than you've ever been, than you've ever gotten to be. The faintest impression of a thought - the thought - crosses the deepest edges of your mind as you lean in infinitesimally. He doesn't notice, and you barely register it either, but you can't help but notice how easy it would be to just close the gap and kiss him.

Kiss him?

Your brain short-circuits and you just barely manage to keep your eyes from widening. You have no idea where that came from, but then again, if you are honest with yourself, it has always been there, buried deep down beneath years of friendship and history.

The question invades your brain again, and this time, you're unable to stop it. What would it be like to kiss him?

You can't keep your breath from catching, and he pulls back immediately, tugging you to the side and depositing you on the booth beside him.

Your mouth falls open as you try to meet his eye. "Aaron-"

His head turns and he stands up, his eyes dark under the soft lighting. "I'm sorry."

Before you can get another word out, he's gone.

TAGLIST: @citrusiove, @yiiiikesmish, @sanayikes, @mdanon027, @alice-w0rld, @beata1108, @bakugocanstompme, @raely-study, @himboelover, @hermionegalathynius, @rousethemouse, @calif0rniadreamin, @tolerateit13, @delusional-13s-blog, @madesavage05, @littlemisskavities, @love13tter, @domithebomi, @guacam011y, @averyhotchner, @silver-studios, @whosmys (message me to be added!)

#aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x fem!reader #hotch x reader #hotch x female!reader #aaron hotchner #hotch #criminal minds #penelope garcia #spencer reid #derek morgan #jennifer jareau #emily prentiss #david rossi #aaron hotchner fic #aaron hotchner series #criminal minds series #criminal minds season five #hotch fic #criminal minds fanfiction #anchor series #anchor

[avis-writeshq]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💗

AHHH thank you so much for sending this <33 i hope these fics make someone as happy as i felt when writing them 🫶

01 — SPARKS FLY

summary: "drop everything now, meet me in the pouring rain."/"kiss me on the sidewalk, take away the pain." The first time you meet Spencer Reid, you swore that you could feel the sparks fly. You figured that it would be unreasonable to ever consider him to be anything more than a friend, and in a moment of selflessness you tell yourself that you are perfectly fine in that position. As time goes on, the line between romantic and platonic love begins to blur indefinitely. But it would be ridiculous to think that the resident genius would feel anything for you... right?

pairing: spencer reid x bau!fem!reader genre: best friends to lovers, fluff, hurt/comfort, angst, slow burn, mutual pining, happy ending warnings: rated 16+ for canonical criminal minds trauma, drugs/relapsing, torture, therapy, panic attacks/night terrors, guns, death, ‼️always read each fic's individual warnings for triggers‼️ wc (total): 36k

02 — TRAIN RIDES

PART ONE | PART TWO

summary: Spencer Reid prides himself in his routine. Wake up at half-past six. Leave his apartment at a quarter past seven. Get onto the seven thirty train. Arrive at Quantico at eight forty five. He has a plentiful of reasons as to why he does it; it’s efficient, it gets him to the office early, it works. But the biggest reason is the girl that always sits in the seat a few rows across from him, headphones on and always reading a book. 

pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader genre: strangers to lovers, rated G for mutual pining and second hand embarrassment. no use of (Y/N). warnings: fluff, boy band spencer reid (caution, hot!). i tried to write in Spencer’s pov, and with that comes a lot of rambling. i like to think that his mind is running 100 miles an hour, so i tried to write in a style that could implicate that wc (total): 5.2k

03 — GLUE SONG

summary: “but you’re here, and so i love you.” in which spencer realises that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you.

pairing: s5!spencer reid x fem!reader genre: established relationship, fluff warnings: spencer in a knee brace (tell me why that’s attractive. why does he look good at his worst. face card never declines), he’s genuinely obsessed with you, not proof read oops a/n: thank you so much anon !!!! i’m so sorry it took so long to post; i kept changing and editing it hahaha i hope you enjoy it !! wc: 1.05k

04 — WHEN HE DEFENDS YOU FROM A MISOGYNIST

pairing: aaron hotchner x bau!fem!reader genre: established relationship, aaron is a little (a lot) upset warnings: misogynistic moron >:( reader wears a skirt, if you get the reference ily wc: 631

05 — DETENTION

pairing: damian wayne x fem!reader warnings: rated 16+ for mature themes, coarse language, and mutual pining, guns, stalking, kidnapping, s3xual assault, blood, psychopathic tendencies (not by reader or damian), arson, prayer talk wc: 6k

lots of spencer reid but also a couple of different characters :)) i hope you enjoy these because i had so much fun writing these !! thank you again @ssahotchnerr for sending this to me ahhh !!

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader fluff #criminal minds #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner #dc comics #dc comics x reader #damian wayne x reader #damian wayne

[lucy-gray1075]

Finnick comforting reader when she is on her period?

I love your work so much<33

Tomorrow Never Came

tyy love!!

context: Finnick and reader are fellow tributes from four who are both currently at the Capitol cause they were Reaped for the Games.

a/n: Yes, Finnick nicknames reader ace lol. I've been binging s5 and 6 of Gilmore Girls and Finnick is so Logan coded <3

౨ৎ･ﾟ:*

"Ughhh!" You hated being dramatic, but you hated things not going your way even more. "Stupid blanket!"

You let out another prolonged groan when it once again slid off your legs and onto the floor. It was a blanket for God's sake, wasn't the thing supposed to keep you warm? Instead, the threadbare fabric couldn't even stay on top of your legs.

"Now, honey, there's no need to throw things around and cause a fuss." You could place the unmistakably pouty drawl from a mile away. You felt his maddeningly hot breath on the back of your neck as he leaned over your spot on the couch.

"Go away, Odair." You fought to keep your voice calm. Seeing you annoyed only egged Finnick on like some crude form of encouragement.

Predictably, he jumped over the edge of the couch, jostling you as he landed with a thump. Leave it to Finnick to annoy you when you're in your most irritable mood.

To your surprise, he held out a throw blanket. The plushy material looked so out of place in his calloused hands, so rough from all his seafaring.

"Take it, ace." He nodded encouragingly. "I can't even imagine how hard it is being on that time of the month. Especially, being here and all, away from home, and with all that pressure on ya."

"How do you know..."

"I saw you eating like three pounds of chocolate last night." At your look of mortification, he hurried to add, "I couldn't sleep either, sweetheart. I wanted to join you, but I figured if I interrupted you, I wouldn't stand a chance at even making it to the arena tomorrow night."

You chuckled at that, finding him funnier than you'd like to admit. You reluctantly accepted the blanket he was still holding out to you.

"You know, ace, we can be allies in there." He was looking at you earnestly now, gaze piercing enough to cut through glass. "I don't want this to sound forward, but I would die for you."

He swallowed as you frowned up at him. "I...I-I don't have anyone who cares about me. I don't have anyone to go home to if I come out of this thing alive. But you..."

You surprised yourself with what came out of your mouth next, "I care."

Finnick raised his head slowly.

"I mean it, Fin," you continued. "You're...Look, I know I'm not the easiest person to like, but somehow you make me seem tolerable. I never thanked you for saving my ass during the interview." You rolled your eyes at the memory.

"But thank you for spinning our story into a love tale. If it weren't for you, I would probably have a negative amount of sponsors. I mean, who wants to root for the scrawny girl from the fishing district who can't even fish-"

Finnick's plush lips found yours, immediately silencing the million thoughts running through your mind. He pulled back, eyebrows raised as if he had surprised himself. If tomorrow never came, you would be glad for it.

You pulled him back to you, the collar of his sweater clutched tightly in your hands. He kissed you slow as if you were a delicate primrose blooming in early spring.

When you pulled back again, he eyed you, the ghost of a smirk playing on his lips.

"I would root for the scrawny girl from four, who by the way, is the strongest swimmer I've ever seen." You suddenly felt yourself growing redder than channel bass. "And about that love tale, I didn't just spin it. I spoke from the heart."

"Oh, now you're done," you thwacked his chest, moving to stand up. "This does not mean you're getting in my pants tonight, Odair." You glanced at him pointedly, clutching his blanket to your chest.

You turned before you could notice that his answering smirk was more of a hopeful grin.

#finnick odair #the hunger games #finnick odair x reader #finnick x reader #finnick x y/n #finnick odair fanfic #finnick imagine #thg finnick #finnick odair fluff #finnick x you #hunger games finnick #finnick odair imagine #finnick odair fanfiction #finnick oneshot #finnick odair headcanons #finnick x annie #finnick #finnick odair headcanon #finnick odair x you #finnick odair x fem!reader #finnick odair x annie cresta #finnick odair x y/n #hunger games catching fire #the hunger games fanfiction

[arlowthenacho]

꧁༺ 𝓱𝔂𝓭𝓻𝓪𝓽𝓮 𝓸𝓻 𝓭𝓲𝓮-𝓭𝓻𝓪𝓽𝓮 ༻꧂

(spencer reid x reader/platonic!bau x reader)

summary: spencer isn’t drinking enough water when you’re away on a case. you call him, the team hears, chaos ensues.

warnings: fluffy! set in early s5, mention of getting shot, use of y/n, some cursing, pet names (baby, babe, sweetheart), intended lowercase. if i missed any, please let me know!

a/n: hi there! this is my first fic, so rlly any interaction/feedback is appreciated! this is also extremely self indulgent, but enjoy! the ending is kinda shit, apologies 🙇‍♀️

the soft rustling of paper and the quiet buzz of chatter is all that can be heard on the plane. the team had been presented a new case and have been flying for about an hour. they had been filling the silence by going over the details of the case, chatting with each other, or in your case, trying to convince your boyfriend to take a goddamn sip of water.

“spencer, for the love of god, i’m not asking you to throw your coffee machine out the window! please, take but a sip of water, i beg of you!” you’re practically hissing into the phone, trying to keep your voice down and failing miserably.

“y/n, im fine, i swear! i’ll just drink some later, i’m just really busy-” spencer’s reply comes out slightly crackly through the phone. he had been shot in the leg on a recent case and was not cleared to travel, therefore being left in penelope’s care, and only being able to communicate through phone calls.

“i left you a bottle of water on pen’s desk, it’s literally right in front of you!” you can hear emily snickering in the background and give her a half-hearted glare.

“yeah, pretty boy, why don’t you drink your water?” derek decides to chime in, a smug look plastered on his face. you shoot him a glare and whack his arm. “ow!”

you roll your eyes at derek’s whining and go back to your conversation with spencer.

“spence, please. just finish one bottle of water and then i’ll let you off the hook.” your tone is teetering on begging him and demanding him. at this point, the entire team can hear your conversation and are all snickering not-so-discreetly.

“spencer, please just listen to y/n. i don’t want to listen to this for another 4 hours.” this time, it’s rossi who interrupts you. his tone is so serious it’s funny.

spencer blushes a bright red on the other end and you can hear penelope teasing him relentlessly.

“ok, ok, fine! i’ll finish the water. happy?” his reply comes out in a high-pitched voice, clearly showing his embarrassment.

“very. thank you, spence,” he can hear the smile in your voice as you say your goodbyes and hang up the phone.

pretty much immediately after the fact, emily pipes up.

“you guys are so adorable it makes me ill,” she feigns annoyance by rubbing at her temples, concealing her smile quite terribly. you roll your eyes and go back to the file in front of you.

“that’s really unfortunate, em. feel better!” you teased, huffing out a chuckle.

“okay, the case?” hotch’s stern reply earns a groan from the rest of the team as your eyes drift back down to the folder in front of you.

you’re now a couple days into the case, and everything’s going to shit. you’re no closer to finding the scumbag of the month and the team is losing hope.

after a few seconds of thinking, you’re suddenly pulled out of your thoughts when your phone rings, spencer’s name lighting up the screen. you answer near immediately, holding the phone to your ear.

“spence? baby? you got some good news f’me?” a smile touches you’re lips as soon as you answer, standing up and walking to the evidence board.

“yes and no, which do you wanna hear first?” spencer’s biting his lip in excitement and vibrating in his chair.

“lets hear the bad news first, baby,” you deflate at his words, leaning your back against the nearest wall.

“well, the trail we though we had on the unsub went cold,” spencer winces when he hears you sigh. “but we found a relative, penelope’s sending the address right now,” your smile soon returns as you kiss the phone, making an obnoxious sound in the speaker.

“im kissing your lovely little brains spence, thank you!” you make a few more kissing noises before spencer talks again.

“um-thank you, y/n,” his cheeks are flushed and he stutters through his sentences, biting his lip and smiling. “i-uhm…i also…finished my water…” you can barely make out what he’s saying, his whispered words slurring together.

“what was that, sweetheart?”

“i-i finished…i finished the water you gave me,” he speaks a bit louder, enunciating his words slightly better. you light up at his confession, smiling so wide your cheeks ache.

“thats great, spence! im very proud of you,” you gush, positively beaming.

“th-thank you, y/n, really,” he’s blushing even more now, his stammering worsening by the second.

”of course, babe. now, i gotta go, but i’ll call you when i’m back at the hotel, ‘kay? love you spence, bye!” you wait until spencer says goodbye to hang up the phone, smiling like a kid on christmas day.

after a couple more days, the case was finally over. the criminal being caught and locked away.

the jet ride home was uneventful, other than some light chatter and a well-deserved nap.

***

you’re soon stepping off the jet, along with the rest of the team, and hailing a cab to take you back home. soon, someone pulls over and you hop into the backseat. you give the driver your address and pull out your phone to text spencer.

spencie poo 💌

im omw home right now, see you soon :)

his reply comes back almost immediately.

okay, see you then!

you snap your flip phone shut and wait the remaining few minutes to get to your house.

***

after about 10 minutes, the ride is finally over. you pay the cab driver and thank him for driving you before speeding over to the door of your apartment building. you open it and buzz yourself in, walking to the elevator and pressing the button to get to your floor.

after getting off the elevator, you pull out your keys and unlock your apartment, dropping your things and toeing off your shoes.

“spence? you in here?” you call out into the seemingly empty apartment, plopping down on the couch and feeling around for the remote.

“here, y/n! just a minute,”

after a few seconds, spencer comes out and sits down in the spot next to you. you immediately curl into his side and sigh in contentment and exhaustion.

“‘m so tired, spence…” your words slur together, the drowsiness in your voice highlighted.

“i know…this case was a rough one.” he wraps his arm around you, drawing lazy circles on your shoulder. you let out a soft groan and cuddle closer to him.

“y’know, you really need to drink more water,” you giggle, limp in his arms.

“yeah…i know…” he has a guilty look on his face as he leans down to kiss your hairline. “i did finish that bottle of water you left me though,” he laughs breathlessly.

“hmm, thats good. ‘m very proud, spencer.” you can barely process what he’s saying, even though your words are sincere.

“okay baby, lets get you to bed,” spencer effortlessly picks you up and makes the short walk to your bedroom, laying you down on the plush bed.

after making sure you’re comfortable, he climbs in next to you and turns off the light.

“i love you, spence.”

”i love you too, y/n.”

#💌 arlow writes #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds #criminal minds imagine #spencer reid fluff #criminal minds x reader #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid

[saraanzu]

bsd speculation: what’s up with this girl in bram’s flashback from 107.5, and what can we learn about her from dracula?

(prefacing this with some rambling… actual analysis starts after the readmore)

107.5 came out the same day as the s5 trailer and it was right after an exciting mersault chapter which is the vastly more popular pov and it was a whopping 9 pages - it was bound to be disliked. I won’t pretend a 9-page chapter isn’t disappointing (no idea why recent chapters have been so short - I hope they get a bit longer again when s5 is done airing?) and I think it’s fine to prefer the mersault storyline but I’ve also seen some god-awful takes about this chapter.

aya and bram aren’t side characters! they have been core to bsd’s plot ever since their introductions (in aya’s case, her re-introduction) and you can dislike them all you want but it’s objectively incorrect to claim they aren’t important to the story.

I also don’t agree with the take that 107.5 didn’t further the plot at all - obviously not a lot can happen in, again, 9 pages (that’s 1/3 the length of 107!) but aya deciding to remove bram’s sword and him actually encouraging her to do it even when he doesn’t believe it’s possible and previously told her not to is a huge turning point in the story! 107.5 certainly isn’t a favorite of mine but I will say we’ve had (slightly) longer chapters in recent months that had more exposition and setup with less plot.

I’ve seen some people worry that, because bram pictures someone who looks like aya in what’s presumably a wedding dress, bram and aya’s relationship is going in a creepy direction. I want to make it clear that no matter who this flashback girl is, even if she’s bram’s dead lover and/or aya in a previous life, I highly highly doubt that anything weird is going to happen between bram and aya. their relationship hasn’t been set up like that at all, in fact bram has parallels with aya’s father and he explicitly sees her as a child (more on that later) (look. bsd is not above using some Weird Tropes. in particular, the tanizakis and mori come to mind (and in mori’s case, it doesn’t even really function as a reference to the irl author - vitas sexualis has nothing to do with pedophillia!) but it’s important to mention that, while I wish those tropes weren’t in bsd at all because they’re unnecessary and add nothing of value to the characters, they are ultimately gags and nothing more. they don’t really set a precedent for how weird asagiri is willing to get when it comes to legitimately serious plot points.)

okay! got it all out of my system here’s the actual post

part 1: the dress

personally, when I first read 107.5, I didn’t think this girl was in a wedding dress. my initial assumption was “this must be bram’s daughter, she’s wearing some sort of tiara and bram was a nobleman”. but looking at it again, it does resemble one, and we should consider how bram’s backstory might reference dracula.

“the brides of dracula” are three seductive vampire ladies who live in count dracula’s castle and attempt to feed on jonathan harker early on in the book before being stopped by dracula, who chastises them for trying to eat harker and feeds them a human baby instead.

while they are known as dracula’s brides in pop culture and are often portrayed as such in movie adaptations, they go unnamed in the original novel and their relation to dracula is unclear. from what we see of them they refer to each other as “sisters”, although perhaps not in the literal sense. two of them have dark hair and are described as having similar facial features to dracula while the third is blonde, which may imply the third is dracula’s wife and the other two are his daughters. I imagine they’re pretty vague and mysterious on purpose, they could be dracula’s wives/sisters/daughters, or even just some vampire ladies crashing at his house.

however, I don’t think we should disregard details exclusive to adaptations of dracula and only focus on the original book when thinking about bsd. film adaptations of the book are actually more influential on dracula’s perception in pop-culture than the book itself, so it’s not unlikely that asagiri would reference elements that appeared in adaptations but not the novel.

so, because of “the brides of dracula”, I think it’s quite possible this girl is indeed a bride. she does look a bit young for it, but I’ve seen others say they think she looks older than aya, so I guess that’s subjective (and people would get married younger in bram’s time I suppose).

that doesn’t mean she has to be bram’s bride - again, the “brides” in the original novel have no explicit relation to dracula and could easily be his daughters or sisters, and I really do think her being his daughter instead makes more sense thematically.

part 2: her relation to bram

I believe bram subtly parallels aya’s father in a few ways. aya’s dad is verbally and physically abusive, and he berates aya for not being good at traditionally feminine activities. he doesn’t see her for what she is, a child, and instead expects her to be a perfect traditional woman.

right before we see this flashback, bram is surprised by aya’s age, and comments that she is “too young to even use a spinning wheel” (also a traditionally feminine activity). both of them question aya’s desire/ability to be an ally of justice but for different reasons: aya’s father finds it unladylike while bram finds it too big a task for a little girl (he is also sleepy)

I didn’t understand the point of this scene’s inclusion before, but in retrospect I think it serves as foreshadowing for bram’s flashback and demonstrates how he and aya’s father both associate aya with dead people, but this causes them to treat her differently.

aya will never live up to her father’s expectations because she can’t compete with his idealized memories of the dead. her own accomplishments are irrelevant in his eyes because she isn’t enough like the wife and daughter he lost. I suspect his grief is part of the reason he’s so horrible to her in the first place.

it’s the opposite case with bram. in his eyes aya does compare to someone who he remembers fondly, and the end of 107.5 implies that’s the very reason he’s okay with aya pulling the sword out.

I don’t necessarily see bram as a father figure to aya (to me he’s more of a weird creature who’s sort of grown fond of her after being unwillingly dragged around… but hey, who says that can’t be a dad?) but I do think it’s possible that this mystery girl was bram’s daughter in the past because of how he parallels aya’s father.

(note: she has normal human ears rather than pointy ones, but bram was turned into a vampire by his ability and wasn’t bitten or born as one, so I don’t know if he’d necessarily pass down his vampirism to his children. he also may have developed his ability after becoming a father, or his daughter could even be adopted).

part 3: her relation to aya

the most common idea I’ve seen to explain the resemblance between these two is that aya is a reincarnation of this flashback girl. introducing reincarnation out of nowhere seems a bit random even for bsd, but surprisingly this theory does have some basis.

in the movie bram stoker’s dracula (1992), the character mina harker, jonathan’s fiancé, is a reincarnation of dracula’s long-dead lover, elisabeta. dracula recognizes her as a reincarnation due to their resemblance and mina agrees to assist him, still harboring feelings and memories from her past life. it’s fairly common for dracula adaptations to portray dracula and/or mina as having romantic feelings for each other, but this isn’t really the case in the novel, and elisabeta is entirely an invention of this particular movie.

so, aya being a reincarnation of a girl bram once knew could work as a reference to this. I did say previously that I think it’s possible asagiri will reference adaptations of dracula and not just the novel, but I’m not so sure he would make something specific to one particular adaptation a major part of bram’s backstory.

personally, I’m partial to the idea that aya’s ability will be introduced soon, and her resemblance to this flashback girl may have something to do with it. (the ability idea and reincarnation idea aren’t inherently contradictory, aya’s ability could very well be reincarnation)

this theory by @jo-dieeee suggests that aya’s ability is called mirror, due to the discussion of mirrors in 107.5 and the book above.

mirror: the fiction and essays of koda aya isn’t actually a book written by irl koda, nor is it just a collection of her stories. it was written by ann sherif and discusses koda’s life and works, including some translations of her short stories in the second part. however, the existence of this book and aya emphasizing mirrors in 107.5 is quite an interesting coincidence! whether or not it’s called mirror, I’m fairly confident an ability reveal is coming up.

it’s also worth bringing up that aya’s resemblance to this mystery firl might not have a supernatural explanation at all. it could easily be an artistic choice simply made to indicate that bram is reminiscing about someone who aya reminds him of. I’m not too into the reincarnation idea myself.

#I’m assuming the panel is a flashback and not bram’s imagination of the future because the caption at the end of the chapter says “remember” #hoping to start making meta posts like this more often… it’s difficult for me to put my thoughts like this into words though #I wrote this post over the course of a week hence why it’s two weeks late #bsd #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #aya koda #bram stoker #aya bsd #bram bsd #talk tag #jo’s meta

[justjensenanddean]

Jensen Ackles Solo Panel | JIBCon 2023 (February 26, 2023)

[loriladeakali]  

‘Happy early birthday’ Jensen: wait is that happening again… oh right it happens every year! (x)

Danneel kept Jensen up last night (x)

JA: I just want to tell fun, different stories with fun, different characters and I hope I am lucky to do this with great people (x)

Jensen was a “serial sneak-outer” as a kid, even did the thing where he’d fluff up a pillow under the bedclothes, then be out all night. For his kids, he’s joking he’ll have a high tech perimeter set up w motion detectors. “and they’ll probably just override the system!” (x)  Jensen, more seriously: I’ll tell them honestly the bad things that can happen, but also that I’ll be there for them always. And yeah I’ll put tracking devices on them  (miming shooting them with a dart gun with a GPS tag ) (x)

Q: where did the name Radio Company come from? JA: we were just thinking that we want to make the kind of music that can keep you company on the radio. And then we were like, whoa, that’s it, write that down!” (x)

Q about new projects. Jensen: Soldier Boy *might* be back (huge whoop from crowd - I don’t think the crowd [or Jensen] realize that Kripke’s already publicly stated that Soldier Boy will be back!) & I just signed a deal for a thing that will be announced next week   (x)

1 new detail re Soldier Boy: Jensen mentioned it as a possibility for “this year”. Could conceivably mean SB pops up in very late S4. The consensus in the Boys fandom has been that SB will return S5, but there’s speculation JA might be involved in S4 finale (just wild rumor tho) (x)

Future projects? Jensen: well if you noticed, at the end of season 3 of #TheBoys, Soldier Boy didn't die Also a new, secret project being announced probably next week (around Jensen's bday) (x)

JA, on new projects: Soldier Boy didn’t die, so that’s an option. I also have an announcement for a project coming next week, but it’ll leave you with more questions (x)

Q: What's next on his agenda? Answer: he basically confirmed soldier boy will be back and then he said he signed the deal (that we leave more questions) recently and announcment should happen NEXT WEEK !! (x)

JA: I’d love to work with Paul Newman, he was a great actor and had a great reputation (x)

Q: what past actor would you like to have worked with? Jensen: Paul Neumann. Great actor, I grew up watching his stuff, supposed to be a good guy (x)

A about fave US cities. Jensen: New Orleans for sure. San Fran. “LA’s just LA”  And there’s a lot of great small towns (x)

Jensen’s supposed to leave but he wants to spin the wheel. It is clearly going to land on Sing so he gives it a not very subtle nudge to land it on Drink (x)

(JIB)

#Jensen Ackles #JIBCon2023 #JIB11 #Jensen's future projects #*

[buddiesmutslut]

Honestly, s5 killed any real feelings I had about Madney. Like, idk man, I just really don’t care about them? Obviously I’m not pissed that they’re happy, but if they were to break up & find other people, I’d also be not pissed. I know I’m in the minority for that & that’s totally fine, I hope all the Madney stans get everything they want out of this episode, but as such, I was really mostly excited for the bachelor party scenes? Knowing that the rest of the episode was going to focus on finding Chim & the Madney wedding (as it should be,) but they’ve literally only been using Buddie & hinting & talking about the karaoke scene for weeks to promote this, and now they’re cutting it?? & you can’t tell me they didn’t know they were going to cut it, the episode airs TOMORROW, & they’ve had the people who watch it early watching it, so they’ve been deliberately using that scene & releasing stills to drum up anticipation, all the whole knowing they weren’t going to use it?? That’s just kind of shitty.

#911 abc #buddie #buddie karaoke #I’m not tagging this as Madney bc I don’t want to upset anyone #but if anyone wants to talk about my feelings about Madney I am MORE THAN HAPPY to go on a rant lmfao #also justice for my man Oliver who literally had to drink to do the scene only for it to be cutb #evan buckley #eddie diaz #911 spoilers #oliver stark #ryan guzman #911 s7 #911 s7 e6 #anti Madney a little bit probably

[nipuni]

Doctor Who status report! and from a couple other shows too because we are both head over heels in love with David Tennant and are watching all his body of work lmao

Alright so we finished DW S5 and are two episodes into S6 and I'll say 11th has grown on me a lot since my last report! Matt is so cute! we enjoyed the episode "The Lodger" it had some of that feeling I was missing from the previous seasons I think, and the two final episodes of S5 were cool!! And S6 started strong with the first two-parter, we are...so confused but in a good way? It's different and the writing quality wobbles but we are enjoying it very much nonetheless! I do feel like some of the values and handling of certain topics has been inconsistent since the writer swap so it feels a bit strange sometimes but it's still early so we'll wait and see! OH and the christmas special was so lovely!!

Then we also watched "Casanova" BBC 2005 miniseries for David and IT WAS SO GOOD honestly we were not expecting much and we both ended up crying lmao, it's also so funny!!

And we also watched "Around the World in 80 days" 2021!! It may not be very loyal to the book but it's great on it's own and so adorable and fun and SO BEAUTIFUL!! the locations, the costumes!! David's Phileas Fogg is the most loveable pathetic wet cat of a man just the absolute babygirlest I've seen him, this show was made for me I swear to god I was clutching my knees the whole season, please watch it!! I think it's getting a second season inspired by Twenty thousand leagues under the seas? I hope it does 🥺

Oh and belated Happy Halloween!! I didn't manage to draw anything for it this year but we did dress up as Edwardian vampires and went out! I think half of Madrid asked to take a picture with us and yet I didn't take any good ones askjfh but it was so fun, everyone was so nice to us 😭 The weather also got very cold and rainy all of a sudden and we are elated!! it's wool coat, gloves, hats and boots season again, I'm at my most powerful!!

Anyway I go back to drawing for now, hopefully I will be able to squeeze in some fanart and photos soon 😊

#personal #doctor who #around the world in 80 days #DW report

[actually-a-fish]

the best supernatural episodes

according to an autistic person with a special interest and the ability to make a list.

if youre really serious about supernatural spoilers then maybe stay away :)

None of the season one episodes made in on the list but I will give an honorable mention to S1 E2 Wendigo.

S2 E11 Playthings - A classic, creepy girls in a creepy hotel. Special call out to Sam getting SLOPPY

S2 E16 Roadkill - There's a ghost haunting the highway. the Boys help the spirit move on. This is an early example of monster empathy

S2 E18 Hollywood Babylon - Dean loves hollywood. I love dean. this episode makes me kick my feet like a little girl and i will not defend myself.

S2 EP 20 What Was Shall Never Be - all I have in my notes for this one is "Dean Djinn Dream" which was enough for me to remember the episode and get misty eyes. This is SEASON 2 my son will never know peace.

S3 E5 Bedtime Stories -I had to check the wiki on this one, I think i liked it cause it referenced classic fairytales

S3 Ep11 Mystery Spot - "HEAT OF THE MOMENT" RISE AND SHINE SAMMY!

S3 E13 Ghostfacers! - Im a Facer through and through

S3 E16 No Rest for the Wicked - S3 finale and the Boys are facing consequences! Classic Dean, Sam and Bobby episode.

S4 E1 Lazerus Rising - First Cas Episode. That handprint makes me feel things.

S4 E6 Yellow Fever - What if Dean had anxiety (The Eye of the Tiger blooper is also at the end of the episode which gives it bonus points.

S4 E17 Wishful Thinking - Make a wish? was it for your teddy bear to be diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder? Well thats what youre getting!

S4 E17 It's a Terrible Life - Sam ~ the sales rep. Dean ~ middle management.

S4 E18 The Monster at the End of the Book - There are books about Sam and Dean?! Written by this guy who loves self insert character? Surely the entire show isn't about to take a tone shift?

S5 E3 Free to be You and Me - Sam and Dean are fighting again, but this time Dean has a new heavenly boy toy to play with instead. (Cas has no rizz yet it's actually a little painful to watch)

S5 E5 Fallen Idol - Okay the Wax People episode is on here for one reason and one reason only. Paris Hilton.

S5 E7 The Curious Case of Dean Winchester - Old man Dean and old man Bobby. This is also the episode for HH Husk kinnies.

S5 E8 Changing Channels - Dr Sexy MD is that you?!

S5 E9 The Real Ghostbuster - *in a grizzly voice* "I'm Dean Winchester, this is my brother Sam. Have you experienced anything strange?" "Dude that was so good! Now we can go solve the puzzle" "Man you're breaking the immersion!"

S5 E10 Abandon All Hope - This is here for Crowley's first appearance and not because the end will make you cry.

S5 E12 Swap Meat - "uh... its Audi Nos". Freaky Friday starring Sam Winchester! An angsty teen and April Kepner from Grey/Sloan Memorial Hospital.

S5 E16 Dark Side of the Moon - The Boys lives flash before their eyes. Dean is pissed forever about Sams.

S5 E19 Hammer of the Gods - this is for all my pagans out there!

S6 E4 A Weekend at Bobby's - What do you think this episodes about idjit.

S6 E15 The French Mistake -  “For whatever reason, our life is a TV show.” “Why?” “I don't know.” “No, seriously. Why? Why would anybody want to watch our lives?” 

S7 E4 Defending your Life - consequences? for fucking people over? how about you stand trial.

S7 E20 The Girl with the Dungeons and Dragons Tattoo - The self insert character made for us :) Luv u 4ever Charlie XD

S8 E4 Bitten - found footage will always scare. this one reminds me that this show started as a psuedo horror.

S8 E8 hunteri heroci - Cas tries his hand at being a hunter

S8 E12 As Time Goes By - FINALLY THEY ARE CARVING TRAPS INTO BULLETS

S8 E17 Goodbye Stranger - verbatim here are my notes for this episode "Cas chooses Dean, but the way he handles Meg... Fuck Naomi"

S8 E18 Clip Show - If you only want to watch just one episode of Supernatural this should be it. It's not actually a clip show, theres a broment, bonding time with favorite characters and crazy plots that only supernatural could get away with.

S9 E5 Dog Dean Afternoon - Dean is finally a dog person

S9 E11 First Born - Another bro fight leads to shipping <3 SamxCas + DeanxCrowley <3

S9 E15 #thinman - the slender episode feat. GHOSTFACERS. You come away from this episode thinking "supernatural is so fucking gay why wont the boys kiss"

S9 E21 King of the Damned - my favorite crowley era change my mind. Also the way the Boys interrogate an angel is so funny

S10 E5 Fan Fiction - I would unironically fuck w a supernatural musical and if helluva/hazbin taught me anything the rest of you would too

S10 E6 Ask Jeeves - The Clue episode. (Pay attention to the improvised weapons Dean chooses. It brings me joy)

S10 E9 The Things we Left Behind - Cas is suffering a midlife crisis and his besties are there to help him repair his relationship with his daughter. Funnily enough, Crowley is also getting some family bonding in.

Okay, I'm all caught up on my list. Should I have stayed up late transcribing this with an 8am class tommarow?

Probably not but it did bring me great joy. Tell me your favorite episode! I'll continue to add to my list as I continue my rewatch :)

#supernatural #destiel #castiel #dean winchester #sam winchester #crowley #list #tumblr recommendations #episodes #im bad at tags #sam and dean #favorite

[justafriendofxanders]

this is so interesting, and lilah's mom is one of my favorite details about her character i wish the show had explored more. i like that SR perceived an apparent contradiction that lilah could have grown up with a mom, without love or support, but still be taking care of her, because i definitely headcanoned the relationship between her and her mom as strained and probably characterized by an early betrayal, but there still being some genuine feelings of love lilah held towards her, or at least the hope of love? sort of like the relationships, say, bojack horseman or tony soprano have with their mothers. the point being that that possibility of a brighter future is eventually cut short, but that (in a parallel of AI's mission to fight without any hope of victory) lilah had her own impossible battles she was fighting.

but i also love the idea that maybe lilah's mom was the one person she sincerely loved, and who sincerely loved her, which is also tragic in its own way. either way i think my thematic obsession with the idea of faith/redemption is still intact. idk. man. society if lilah had been in s5, etc etc.

#ats #angel the series #buffyposting #lilah morgan

[hazelnut-u-out]

Rick losing his original family makes me even sadder when I think about the fact that Morty and Summer are basically his kids. He lives with them and takes a much more active role in their lives than most grandparents. He's also pretty much raising Morty (he's doing a terrible job lmao, but he is.) He lost all his children. He lost Jerry, too.

yeahhhhh, 100%.

he’s morty’s primary caregiver at this point, and it kind of feels like the first time in his life morty has ever actually had a primary care giver.

i mentioned this in one of my other posts, but for the longest time after the s5 finale/s6 premier i assumed that rick would pop into the s1 prime dimension on occasion to see if prime had come back, and ran into little morty then. that entire assumption relies on the the inference that morty was pretty heavily neglected and left to his own devices, even at such a young age.

i mean, who in their right mind would leave their baby completely alone in the front hallway while they’re learning to walk?

we ofc don’t know if that’s how rick really knew a morty baby, but it really says something that that’s what someone would immediately deduce.

morty himself even confronts beth about the neglect in “a rickconvenient mort,” and we have plenty of scenes (like in “raising gazorpazorp”) that are open about the neglectful/horrible parents beth and jerry are. even though jerry is shown to be more affectionate towards the kids, he’s always been too busy orbiting beth to be a decent father. (you could also get into the state of morty’s room compared to the rest of the house, or even summer’s room. it’s full of childlike toys and posters because he’s really just a little boy, but there’s mold and mildewy spots- even though he keeps his room relatively tidy.)

one scene that really stuck out to me is when rick takes morty to school in “juricksic mort.” it seems like rick has been one of the people making sure that morty gets there for a while now, considering how the whole scene goes down. (which, what a great contrast from his character in s1. he’s gone from making excuses to justify ruining morty’s education to making sure he gets there on time.)

“rick! mom’s working and dad’s still asleep! i’m gonna be late.” “… just get the keys.”

no pushback from rick at all, just casually taking morty to school. i also like the detail that rick is up that early in the morning, like he’s part of the smith family weekly morning rush routine. he’s just relaxed after summer’s off to school and beth’s at work, drinking some beer and watching the news.

that really seems like rick’s been taking morty to school everyday, or at least often. it’s also a great example of a moment where rick steps up as the “dad” or “patriarch” of the house to fill in for jerry again.

rick doing household chores and shaking his head at the kids in disappointment in “final desmithation” is something that makes me feel like rick is more of a parental figure to the kids than the actual smith parents, too.

(rick sanchez in his matriarch era lol)

(i also just love this little scene of him drinking wine with beth while she plays “operation” and the kids sit around. it’s such a sweet little detail that makes me think about what a subtle act of affection it is to drink wine with her because that’s her drink of choice. it’s also reminiscent of rick “making up for lost time” with his little girl, because it’s horse operation. some things never change- like your daughter playing with horse toys while you watch and have a little drink- even if you’re an old man and she has kids of her own now.)

another episode that i think really embodies rick being the only one who goes out of his way to care about/look after the kids is “rickmancing the stone.” sure, he has that whole blurb about how summer is completely replaceable, but he never actually tries to replace them with versions of themselves from other realities. he just kind of tries to buy time and hopes that they’ll eventually want to come back.

i love the scene where he says, “we need to get you guys home so you can properly deal with your parents’ divorce!”

it seems so genuine to me. he’s a dick, but he’s a dick that’s worried about his grandkids.

being a nurturing father figure, especially with children, is something that seems to come naturally to rick. it’s like part of his nature that’s just been waiting to peek out, even though he’s a jaded old asshole now. “a different kind of rick,” exactly.

#rick and morty #rick sanchez #morty smith #asks

[cookinguptales]

Out of curiosity, do you have any theories for why the bizarre narrative shift wwdits had circa late s4 happened?

I've gotten some uh. Pretty intense anons for saying what I'm about to say, for some reason, but sure, yeah. I'll talk about it. This will be pretty long because I haven't written wwdits meta in a long time, but. Oh well.

For s4 specifically... There's something that Anoop Desai, the actor who plays the Djinn, said in an interview once that I thought was really interesting. He said that they initially only wanted him to be in a few episodes of s4 and told him they'd go from there. As we all know, he ended up doing a great job with the part, the Djinn ended up becoming wildly popular, and the role was expanded.

But when you think about it... a lot of things in the back half of s4 only happened because the Djinn was around, right? The wish for Marwa to like whatever Nandor liked (and its subsequent issues), the wish for Marwa to become a Freddie clone... Those can only happen the way they did because the Djinn's wishes were available as a plot device. It's entirely possible that they were going to happen anyway, just another way, but... I don't think it's really going too far to say that there had to be rewrites of late season s4 in order to incorporate the Djinn, and we just have no way of knowing how extensive those rewrites turned out to be.

I think certain aspects of the end of s4 still had to have been there (a boyfriend for Guillermo, the wedding going poorly) but the exact way that things played out? Well, it did kind of smack of last-minute rewrites to me. We know there was also a lot of confusion about episode order, too, with the wedding seeming to have been originally placed closer to the end of the season... (Based on slates seen on IG.)

So... it really does make you wonder if things might have gone very differently if not for the Djinn's presence. I always kind of felt like I got monkey pawed because I love the Djinn, I really wanted him to be around longer, but then... oof.

s4 was kind of bewildering because it had some truly wonderful episodes, but there was a sense that they were building up to something that just never happened. A lot of themes, like Guillermo learning he can't lie to his loved ones and still keep a strong relationship with them, were really emphasized only to be dropped when they should have been very important with Freddie and all of s5.

Even what I'd argue was the most successful part of s4, the relationship between Laszlo and Colin, was really kind of unceremoniously dumped in s5.

I feel like s4 was where we really started to see a lack of payoff in long-running arcs. s2 was really the last time a season finale cliffhanger had much of any impact on the long-term events of the show (and s3 was when there was a showrunner change, so that could partially be why) and I think that fans were hoping that we'd still see those long-term arcs for characters, especially when s3 on seemed to focus more on characterization and relationship-building.

But what's actually ended up happening is that we constantly get these build-ups that either fizzle out, go nowhere, or worse, get retconned altogether. There's been a real lack of canon consistency the last few seasons, and what felt like small momentary lapses in consistency (like Nandor suddenly being better at hypnotism than Laszlo when the opposite was true in s2) suddenly felt much more dire when fundamental character changes seemed to happen with characters like Guillermo.

I've noticed a real divide between s1-s2 Guillermo and s3, s4, and s5 Guillermo, with him starting to get... almost Flanderized, honestly, with his whole uwu I could never hurt anyone thing. It seems to get worse every season, and this last season making it canon that he feels no guilt towards killing vampires but could ~never~ kill a human (despite being totally blase about it in early seasons) really seems to turn the whole conceit that he loves supernatural creatures (and can't meaningfully connect with humans due to his social otheredness) on its head. Personally, I'd consider that a core aspect of not only Guillermo's characterization but the overarching themes of the show, so it really kind of shocked me.

(In other words, I'm not actually disappointed that he didn't become a vampire. I always kind of thought that was how things were going to happen. But to make it be because he's too gentle?? Because he values human life over vampire lives??? Oof! That lack of character consistency is rough!)

I guess... the reason why I thought the end of s4 was rough was the rewrites. It really did feel rushed, and often themes/characters/relationships seemed to be chucked out in favor of jokes that weren't even all that funny. But I think the overall quality dip (imo) of the last season and a half are due to larger problems. There's a lack of commitment to things established in early seasons that I find troubling, and a total inability to commit to the arcs they're writing now, too.

It's odd. I feel like the first two seasons were more episodic and were less concerned with big arcs, but they still pulled off slowly growing character changes well -- Guillermo finding out he's a slayer especially. Since the showrunner change, they've been much more ambitious about characters, relationships, and long-running arcs -- but they never seem to stick the damn landing! They're aiming higher (building expectations) and landing lower. Which is a bad combination.

So then you have s5, which kind of feels like a culmination of all this. Characterization choices that don't always make sense, season-long arcs that don't go fucking anywhere and ignore previous canon (Laszlo was particularly egregious here), important characterization moments being thrown out in favor of jokes that no one fucking liked. (God, those fucking hybrid creatures.) And in the end, they again refuse to commit and instead send things back to a status quo, now made even shittier because they've closed off a narrative path.

I would hope that this season finale would mean something and we'd see the characters dealing with everything it brings up for the next season, but that didn't fucking happen the last two times, so... I have low hopes. I'd love to be proven wrong, but. I do feel very tired.

Finally... In retrospect, I actually think the death knell came very early on in s4. It was the time jump. Instead of really dealing with the way that any of these characters would have to function with the set-up they created in s3, they skipped all that. I'm not sure Guillermo ever really made that much sense after that, especially, and I think it's because they simply didn't think about what that year would mean to him very much. In interviews, we've seen that Harvey had to make up a lot of backstory himself, we've seen that Harvey and Al independently came up with two very different backstories for how Guillermo and Freddie met and how long they knew each other, we know that the writers often didn't really seem to know what Guillermo was doing in London...

Like. I hate to say it, but that's lazy writing. A time skip doesn't have to be lazy writing, but it often is. It's often used to skip the hard work of getting from characters from A to B, and the only way to do one well is to still know what happened during it. But once they did that, we started to increasingly get these [scene (and characterization) missing here] periods that really brought down the momentum every single time.

So... I guess I think that's been the overarching problem. Rewrites, a lack of loyalty to early canon and worse, a lack of loyalty to the stories they're writing now. If they're not invested in the story arcs they're making, why should we get invested? The way that the whole Laszlo and Colin thing was barely ever mentioned again in s5 was egregious. It was treated as lasting trauma in s4 and then Laszlo seemed totally fine in s5, even going so far as to have sex with the man he'd seen as his son like... two weeks before. For a while, we kept thinking that his weird behavior towards Guillermo was a form of transference, but that never really amounted to anything, either. I think we were just putting too much faith in the writers, maybe.

I guess, in the end, that's probably the biggest problem of all. The writers did some really amazing stuff in the first three seasons. They had a lot of long cons, so to speak, and it was hugely fun to see those pay off. We came to trust the writers, and now we keep thinking that these confusing plot arcs are just one more long con.

But they're not.

So we just get annoyed and let down every single time because we keep expecting payoffs that never come anymore, and in the end we just get kinda bitter.

That's just my two cents, anyway. And it really is still possible to turn things around! But uh. There's not much more time to do it. lmao

Fingers crossed, I guess. (But not around the vampires.)

#replies #wwdits tag #wwdits meta

[aalissy]

Flirting

Oops so sorry I missed yesterday's chapter! On the plus, there will be two chapters from me tonight :). Hope you like them both! This chapter is set early s5 during the reverse love square btw!

AO3

Marinette groaned at the blaring sound of her alarm clock. Extending her arm out, she swatted at the thing until it finally shut off. With a content sigh at the sudden lack of noise, she snuggled deeper under her covers. 

Sleep. Just what she needed after a long night of fighting akumas. 

“Marinette,” a tiny voice spoke, giving a huff of disapproval. “You’re going to be late for school.”

“Shh, Tikki,” she shushed her kwami, reaching up to pat her lightly. “Sleep now. School later.”

Tikki huffed again but went silent, sensing that arguing further would be futile. Marinette drifted in between that blissful state between sleep and wakefulness until...

“Marinette! There’s someone here to see you!” Her mom's voice rang through the room, breaking the peaceful morning spell.

Huh?  

Her eyes blinked open in confusion. Who could possibly be here to see her this early in the morning? Scrubbing a hand over her face, Marinette slowly sat up. A frown creased her brow as she and Tikki both shared a shrug.

Either way, unfortunately, she was now awake and probably couldn’t fall back asleep no matter how much she might want to. With a long-suffering sigh, she began to get ready for school. 

Throwing on an outfit and brushing the tangles out of her bed-ridden hair, Marinette pushed open the hatch to her living room. Blinking in surprise, her startled eyes met Adrien’s.

What was Adrien doing here?

Panic swirled in her gut as he gave her a small smile and wave, his cheeks flushed a light pink. Marinette shifted on her feet, eyes darting up the stairs to her room as she wondered whether she’d be able to make it back upstairs in time.

“Good morning, Marinette.” His bright voice distracted her from her plans. “I wanted to know if you wanted to head to school with me this morning.”

Her parents beamed over at her encouragingly and she exhaled out a slow breath. Why oh why must he be so cute? She had moved on! Was completely focused on giving her partner her love and affection from now on!

Regardless, she couldn’t turn him down now. Especially not with the way her stomach still swirled with butterflies at the fact that Adrien was here. A fact that she was steadfastly choosing to ignore.

With a shy grin, Marinette nodded her head at him. “Sure.”

“You look paws-” Adrien coughed, his cheeks turning a darker shade of pink. “Er, um, positively lovely. Like always,” he complimented, his eyes sparkling over at her with sincerity.

Marinette struggled not to choke. Had Adrien just called her lovely? Surely not. Surely her mind was just playing tricks on her.

With a loud, awkward chuckle, she shifted on her feet once more. “So, I um, suppose we had better head to school, right? D-Don’t want to be late.”

His gaze softened as he nodded his head. Giving a short goodbye to both her parents, both she and Adrien began heading down to the bakery. 

Had he always walked this close to her before? His fingers brushed against hers lightly with every step and Marinette had to fight the bright blush from completely overtaking her face. 

Stop this, she scolded herself internally. You’re being ridiculous! Adrien Agreste does not like you! They exited the bakery, the bell above the door chiming as the cold air rushed to greet them. 

“Thank you for coming with me today, Marinette.” He reached down, tugging her hand as they stopped just outside the door. He lifted her hand up, giving her knuckles a light peck.

Her eyes widened in astonishment at the action. Suddenly, it wasn’t Adrien she was seeing at all but rather someone else. Her partner. Black kitten ears and all.

Her eyes scanned Adrien up and down, trying to stop the image but found herself unable to. Marinette shook her head rapidly in an effort to clear it. Now she really was being ridiculous.

Adrien was not Chat Noir. Right?

With a loud, stiff laugh that even made her wince, she gave him a grin that probably looked more like a grimace. “O-of course, Adrien! W-what are friends for after all?” 

Turning forcefully, Marinette was grateful for the sight of Adrien’s limo that was parked just outside. Salvation. It took her about five minutes just to walk to school so driving would be even shorter. 

She missed the sight of his eyes dimming at her use of the word friend. Adrien recovered quickly, however, dashing over to the door to hold it open for her with a charming grin. 

“After you, m’l-M... my Marinette,” he spluttered, cheeks turning a bright red. 

Her eyes squinted, staring at him in suspicion. There was that strange stutter again. Just what was going on with him? She had never seen Adrien act like this before. 

Though she had certainly seen this behavior many times from... oh. 

Oh. 

Suddenly, it all made sense now. The odd mannerisms. The inability for her to discern the differences between Adrien and Chat Noir.

Adrien was... taking advice from him! Why he decided to practice it out on her was beyond Marinette. Though maybe it had something to do with the way she had been avoiding him lately.

Alright, well, the least she could do was reward his efforts. With a pair of sparkling blue eyes, Marinette chuckled up at him. “Thank you, Chaton.”

Adrien’s face turned ash-white as his smile completely slid off his lips. A small furrow formed between her brows at the sigh. Did he not want her to know? But it was so obvious. 

Feeling strange as Adrien’s gaze turned probing, Marinette slid into her seat in the limo. What should have been a relatively short ride felt like three million years. 

The car was filled with pure silence and tension as he continued to stare at her. She, in turn, fidgeted with her hands as she kept her gaze focused outside the window. 

When they finally reached the school, Marinette practically bolted outside, thanking Adrien’s bodyguard quickly.

“Wait! Marinette!” he shouted after her as she attempted to scramble her way up the stairs.

She had just managed to take her first few steps inside when Adrien caught her wrist, gently tugging her over to a quieter corner. 

“What did you... what did you mean by that?” he questioned, his gaze darting between her eyes.

Pursing her lips in annoyance, Marinette let out a quiet huff. Did he think he was being subtle? Obviously, he wasn’t going to let her go until she answered. With a small roll of her eyes, she eventually murmured, “I mean Adrien, it was a little obvious.” 

He grinned at her sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck. “I-I guess I was... wasn’t I? I’m sorry. I didn’t try to be. I guess the only practice with flirting I’ve ever done was with Ladybug.”

“That’s alright.” Marinette had already begun to wave his words off until his last sentence caught up to her. 

Wait... what? Flirting... with Ladybug? What was he talking about? She scanned her memories, trying to remember a time when Adrien had flirted with her superheroine persona. Believe her, she would have remembered something like that. The only one who had ever flirted with her like that had been...

She squeaked, suddenly paying attention to what Adrien was currently saying.

“But I suppose, if anyone was going to know, I would want it to be you. You’re the only one that I could ever trust with something like this.” 

Choking in a gasp, Marinette stumbled away from him, her back slamming into the wall behind her.

“Marinette?” Adrien asked, his brow creasing with a frown of concern.

She scanned him up and down, taking in every inch of him. 

Oh no! It was not supposed to have happened this way.

A shaky hand covered her mouth. “C-Chaton?” she whispered, her heart pounding in her chest.

“Yes? Are you alright?”

All of a sudden, Marinette burst into a roar of laughter. She couldn’t stop even as Adrien’s look grew even more concerned as he took a few cautious steps toward her. 

“I-I’m such an idiot!” She finally managed to gasp out in between bouts of giggles, barely refraining from sliding down the wall to the floor. “I-I can’t believe I thought that you were taking advice from him or something.”

“Marinette?” Adrien shook his head, confusion evident in his face and tone. “What are you talking about? A-are you saying you didn’t know?”

“Not until just a little bit ago!” She chortled. “But it’s so obvious now! No w-wonder I fell for the same guy twice. I guess I just like you!”

Her laugh suddenly fell to a stop when Adrien stopped just two inches in front of her. He took one of her hands in his, squeezing it softly. “D-did you really mean that? You like me?”

Her cheeks flushed as she slowly nodded her head. She swallowed a harsh gulp as Adrien tilted her chin up with the pad of his thumb. Leaning down, he whispered, “Me too.” 

His lips met hers in a tentative, wonderful kiss. Wrapping her arms around his neck, Marinette smiled with pure joy. He had been right. They had always been meant to be.

#adrinette #adrienette #adrinetteapril #adrienetteapril #adrinetteapril2024 #adrienetteapril2024 #reverse love square #reverse crush #identity reveal #reveal #miraculous ladybug #ml #mlb #ml fic #fic #fanfic