#five fic Fridays

[jtl-fics]

Fluent Freshman - Part 12

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If there was one thing no one would ever guess about FF it is that he unapologetically LOVES Black Friday.

You may be thinking. Ugh Black Friday. Everyone is so rude and tired. The deals aren’t even that good. It can turn into a blood sport at the drop of a hat over a toaster that is 15% off.

You are correct.

That is why FF loves it.

It is the one shopping day of the year where every single one of his instincts are correct, valid, and useful. He has pulled his gran out of the way of elbow drops, he has avoided the gaze of a woman in PINK sweat pants who was looking for someone to steal a blender from, and he knows without a doubt that the cashier hates him already so there’s no need to worry about whether or not they hate him.

It’s like a breath of fresh air!

Everyone is just as antagonistic and awful as he thinks they are!

Shopping is actually the blood sport he always feels like it is!

So there he is standing in a line at the nearest store (Target) waiting to be let in with the masses who all look ready to stab one another for better positioning for a TV. The jokes on them though because his only goal is the grocery section and he deals with the threat of repeated stabbings for BREAKFAST.

He spots an IHOP in the distance and hopes his gran doesn’t feel too lonely. They’ve gotten buttermilk stacks together at the IHOP by the mall for years after the two of them finished Christmas Shopping.

Someone elbows him in the side to get his spot in line but FF does not really care. Again, he doubts any of these people are going to be racing him to the all purpose flour.

It’s 4 AM and the barricades come down.

There’s a rush of people pushing and shoving but FF just steps to the side and watches as they all rush in. He’d mostly stayed in the line because the throng of people made it easier to stay warm. He had left his jacket back at the house because the five hour energy might be making his skin feel super sensitive but he is pretty sure that if he wore his nylon jacket he would die.

The five hour energy also may be upping his anxiety just a little bit.

He walks into the store at a leisurely pace and while the crowd fights over the carts he grabs one of the baskets. He can feel the eyes of other shoppers all wondering if he has some insider knowledge on a good deal that would only require the basket or if it’s a matter of who gets to the back to receive the ‘redeem’ coupon.

He sees a few shoppers get lured in by his siren call and much like a siren following anything that FF is about to do will undoubtedly lead to their downfall.

But FF doesn’t care about that.

He cares about HIS downfall.

So he makes his way to the grocery section and ignores the six different shopping assistants who try and guide him to where he ‘should’ be shopping and each of them only give him increasingly confused looks when he states his intention to go to the grocery section every single time.

Is it easier to ignore their stares when the five hour energy have set his baseline heart rate to something that might be too fast to register as a heartbeat? Maybe.

It is easier to ignore the confusion on their faces when he can see both the past (he asked for TWO favors from Andrew in one day how is he still alive???) and the future (still malleable at the moment apparently. There’s even a future where Andrew actually just is trying to make overtures of friendship but he dismisses that one as INCREDIBLY unlikely and looks at the far more viable one where Andrew at least makes his death quick while he enjoys his great gran’s brownies.)

It’s good to set reasonable goals for yourself.

So he arrives at the grocery section which is deserted aside from one employee who may or may not be asleep against a shelf. FF looks and….not a shelf he needs so he is not about to wake that poor man up.

So he gets everything he needs for his great gran’s brownies (he’s trying to buy his life here so he is not about to assume he can use ANYTHING in the house), the ingredients for a good breakfast (because he really needs to eat something that is not a five hour energy or sugar for the sake of his poor stomach and he may as well get enough for everyone), and (since Captain Neil mentioned it & he is trying to buy his life here) the ingredients to bake another pie.

While he grabs cinnamon he checks to see if they have grandma’s love in stock but, alas, it continues to be unavailable commercially.

He stares at the whipped cream for so long that the employee asleep in the other aisle woke up and asked if he needed help and, startled, he dropped it in his basket. “No I’m good.” He says before power walking out of the grocery department and deciding to brave the Home Goods section to buy some incense so that he can hopefully channel the spirit of his great gran to assist him in this, the darkest of his baking hours.

He arrives at the check out stations and finds the shortest line .

He can feel eyes on him, inspecting his purchases, judging them, judging him, who the fuck goes grocery shopping during the Black Friday rush?

FF.

FF goes grocery shopping during the Black Friday rush.

The cashier looks for hidden cameras but FF has no such thing accompanying him today or ever (as far as he knows.)

After a moment the cashier must look at the ever growing line and decide that whatever scheme they think FF is up to isn’t worth trying to figure out. They offer a membership card, FF valiantly declines to get one despite the two attempts.

He is out the door with four bags of groceries that all have a target on them that feels a little too correct. It’s 6 AM now (he really did lose a lot of time at the whipped cream section) and he’s walking back to the house in Columbia.

He actually feels a little bit better since he at least got to experience his actual favorite blood sport (sorry Exy) and he even got another 2 five hour energies while he was in the check out line so he could replace some of the ones that he had gone through.

“Smith?”

He would like to thank the combined weight of the groceries for keeping his feet on the ground when he heard Captain Neil’s voice.

He turns and Captain Neil is looking at him wide-eyed in his running gear that Smith has seen him in. “You were shopping??” He asks.

FF nods and lifts up the four bags as evidence. “Why didn’t you pick up your phone?” He asks.

FF almost scoffs but he doesn’t, “You can’t be distracted when you’re in a Target on Black Friday. That’s how you take an elbow to the eye.” He responds because it’s like Captain Neil has never experienced the WWE-like environment of Black Friday shopping.

Captain Neil blinks at him.

“Text Andrew or me next time you’re going to go off into the night or just let us know beforehand. Andrew would have driven you.” Captain Neil says and grabs two of the bags out of FF’s hand. “C’mon let’s get back and maybe you can get some sleep.” Captain Neil sighs.

“I’m fine.” FF adjusts the bags so he has one in each hand.

Captain Neil does not say anything so FF assumes that he has accepted that.

***

FF had not been asleep on the couch when Neil had walked through the living room. Neil, in a move that had Andrew fully waking up, went back to the room to check his phone to see if FF had texted him an update on going out. All that greets Neil is the impersonal series of texts that mostly confirmed when practice times had been changed, when the bus was leaving, and spelling on various Spanish words.

FF isn’t a big text person.

He’s more of an in-person kind of friend.

Neil likes that about him most of the time.

“What.” Andrew asks face still half buried in Neil’s pillow.

“Smith isn’t on the couch.”

That has Andrew getting up despite the early hour and their activities the night before. Neil watches as Andrew grabs his own phone to scroll through but seems to come up with the same lack of communication that Neil does.

Andrew does do the extra step and hit the call button.

But all he gets is the confirmation that the VM has not been configured that has greeted them every time FF misses their calls. (Voicemails make FF anxious so when he got his new phone he just…never configured it.)

Neil knew that FF was not pleased with them and somehow the calm request to either stop fooling around or let him out had hit him and Andrew harder than any of the screaming demands that the two of them were usually met with from Nicky, Kevin, Aaron, or any of the other Foxes.

“You said he wasn’t mad.” Neil says.

“He nodded.” Andrew confirms.

“Maybe he went on a walk?” Neil tries as they come out to the living room. They look at the front door and find that it’s locked but it looks like Aaron’s keys are gone. “He probably is going to come back if he took Aaron’s keys since Aaron wouldn’t be the one he’d be irritated with.” Neil rationalizes.

“He didn’t bring his jacket.” Andrew says looking at the black jacket still on the hook by the door.

“We can go and see if we spot him.” Neil offers.

Andrew nods and Neil heads out first since Andrew is still in his sleeping clothes and will need some time.

Neil had not expected to find FF walking back to the house with groceries for breakfast and the pie that Neil had mentioned hoping they could bake at the house.

“Is this for the pie?” He asks looking down at what was in the bags he was carrying as the walked back to the house. Neil managed to shoot off a quick text letting Andrew know that it was fine, FF just went grocery shopping.

FF just nods, “Got everything but Grandma’s love.” He says.

FF is a nice guy to brave the stores on a morning like this but FF also looks like he hasn’t slept a wink.

“Did you sleep at all last night?” Neil asks.

“I’m fine.” FF repeats.

Neil really is starting to understand his friends’ hatred for the phrase.

They get back to the house and Andrew is sat out in the living room. FF stops and blinks at the sight of him sitting there.

It is a well-known fact that Andrew does not willingly wake up early most days unless he has to. Neil is glad that Andrew has a friend that he’s coming to care about the way Andrew cares about FF.

Andrew gets up and yanks the bags out of FF’s hands. “Go to sleep. Today will be irritating if you’re half-asleep.” He says with a scowl and walks to the kitchen to put away the groceries FF had bought.

FF just looks at where Andrew had gone uncomprehendingly for a few moments and Neil figures he’s just tired. Neil feels guilty that him and Andrew messing around in the car like that had rendered FF unable to sleep and the two of them had agreed last night that from now on when FF is in the car they can talk all they want but hands stay on the wheel and eyes stay on the road.

FF is plopped down on the couch when Andrew and Neil come out of the kitchen after putting away the groceries (“These are the ingredients for brownies.” Andrew had noted as he put away melting chocolate.) and he’s looking through his flashcards again and not sleeping. He hears Andrew make a disgusted noise next to him and the next thing he knows Andrew is smacking the cards out of FF’s hands.

“Go. To. Sleep.” Andrew enunciates.

FF stares at him, then down at the flashcards. “I don’t think I can.” He says which is better than him lying and saying he wasn’t tired even if the truth had Andrew’s mouth stretch into a thin line that meant he was beating himself up for something.

“Try.” Andrew orders. “Just lay down and close your eyes. Nothing will happen to you while you’re sleeping.” He says.

FF blinks but nods turning on the couch and laying down. The blanket is still over on the lazy boy that Neil had set it on the night before and Andrew rolls his eyes before grabbing it and tossing it over FF.

“Thanks.” FF says before closing his eyes.

Neil looks to Andrew who nods and Neil accepts that there’s nothing else to be done for now and heads out on his run.

***

FF can admit that he’s a bit adrift in what Andrew and Captain Neil are doing right now.

He really should go grab another five hour energy because falling asleep IN FRONT of an irritated Andrew Minyard feels like a death sentence but “Nothing will happen to you while you’re sleeping.” And having a blanket thrown over him did not feel like a threat even if he can feel Andrew’s eyes watching him.

FF is tired and when he’s tired he tends to make stupid decisions. So FF lets himself drift off to sleep while the man who was likely going to move him to a secondary location sat and watched.

His dreams are not peaceful.

He’s running, can’t escape, an echo of words he should have considered before letting himself drift off and he knows he’s going to DIE.

He wakes up with a start to the smell of bacon, eggs, and hashed browns with Nicky standing over him. “Hey there sleeping beauty! I made you a plate!” He says and hands FF a plate of breakfast that smiles up at him with a bacon mouth, egg eyes, and hashed brown hair.

FF takes the plate and digs in immediately. He needs his strength.

“Today will be irritating if you’re half-asleep.”

Andrew Minyard was going to hunt him for SPORT.

NEXT

Do your civic duty and: CAST YOUR VOTE TODAY ABOUT MEMES (closed)

Per Your Requests:

@i-have-three-feelings​ @blep-23​ @dreamerking27​ @andreilsmyreligion​ @belodensetdust​ @rainbowpineapplebottle @yarn-ace​ @iwouldlikesometea @lily-s-world​ @obscureshipsandchips​ @booklover242​ @whataboutmyfries​ @sahturnos​ @pluto-pepsi​ @dreamerthinker​ @passinhosdetartaruga​ @leftunknownheart​ @aro-manita-muscaria @hologramsaredead​ @Chaoticgremlinswishtheycouldbeme @tntwme​ @tayspots @nick-scar​ @crazy-fangirl2524​ @blue-jos10​ @stabbyfoxandrew​ @splishsplashyouropinionistrash​ @sammichly​ @the-broken-pen​ @bitchesdoweknowu​ @very-small-flower​ @ghostlyboiii​ @its-a-paxycab​ @bisexual-genderfluid-fan​ @cheesecookie​ @theoneandonlylostsock​ @foxsoulcourt​ @blueleys @adverbialstarlight​ @elia-nna​ @can-i-just-stay-in-the-corner​ @nikodiangel​ @foxandcrow-inatrenchcoat​ @hallucinatedjosten​ @satanic-foxhole-court​ @vexingcosmos​ @chalilodimun​

As stated before if you’re up here and I spelled it right but you didn’t get a notification there might be something switched around in your settings that won’t let me tag you properly? (Cheesecookie whatever you did let me actually select you this time)

#Fluent Freshman AU #Did Andrew watch FF sleep for an hour to make sure he actually got some sleep? #Yes #Did Andrew find the 2 five hour energies and throw them out while putting the money FF spent on them in his wallet? #Also Yes #Nicky wakes up and remembers that he promised FF that he could sleep in his room #So he is trying to make it up to FF with smiley face breakfast #FF's love of Black Friday mirrors my own #Do I like the deals? Eh. Do I like the barely concealed threat of violence? YEAH BABY #We go visit my Fam in Ohio for Thanksgiving and then me my mom and my aunt make a battle plan #Mom's on grabbing duty since she's tall while my Aunt and I are on protection detail #I got a black eye one year but the Xbox 360 was worth it for Tales of Vesperia #then we get IHOP #I miss when it started at like 5 AM #Now it just starts on Thanksgiving which is bullshit #I ain't moving from my turkey coma #AFTG Fic #AFTG #AFTG AU #AFTG OC #AFTG Shitpost #Andreil #FF - Pt. 12

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Five Fics Friday: Year Four Masterpost

Hurrah!! I've made it FOUR YEARS OF UNINTERRUPTED FIC RECS every SINGLE Friday!! It's something I'm super proud of for this blog, and I couldn't do it without you guys!!

For anyone who is new to my blog, every SINGLE Friday I post up 5 fics recently added to either my Marked for Later list or my Bookmarks, or as a way to promote new fics suggested to me by authors as a Signal Boosted fic! I haven't missed a single Friday since its inception in 2019, and it's still going strong!! It's the ONLY guaranteed weekly list on this blog, since YOU GUYS provide me the content!! :D I love doing it, and it makes authors feel loved :)

So, as we begin YEAR FIVE for 5FF on September 29, 2023, let's look back on ALL the fics that got us here! Everyone please go give every fic on these lists some love, and I hope that you will stick with me for another year of Fic Recs!

There are over ONE THOUSAND (1,000) fics on the lists below, and that DOESN'T count the bonus extended lists I do once in awhile!!!

So do enjoy! Should keep y'all busy for the long haul!

PREVIOUS YEARS (2019 to 2022):

YEAR ONE MASTERPOST (Sept 29/19 to Sept 25/20)

YEAR TWO MASTERPOST (Sept 25/20 to Sept 24/21)

YEAR THREE MASTERPOST (Oct 1/21 to Sept 23/22)

YEAR 4 OF FIVE FICS FRIDAY:

September 30/22

October 7/22

October 14/22

October 21/22

October 28/22

November 4/22

November 11/22

November 18/22

November 25/22

December 2/22

December 9/22

December 16/22

December 23/22

December 30/22

January 6/23

January 13/23

January 20/23

January 27/23

February 3/23

February 10/23

February 17/23

February 24/23

March 3/23

March 10/23

March 17/23

March 24/23

March 31/23

April 7/23

April 14/23

April 21/23

April 28/23

May 5/23

May 12/23

May 19/23

May 26/23

June 2/23

June 9/23

June 16/23

June 23/23

June 30/23

July 7/23

July 14/23

July 21/23

July 28/23

August 4/23

August 11/23

August 18/23

August 25/23

September 1/23

September 8/23

September 15/23

September 22/23

#johnlock fic recs #five fics friday #fic masterlist #my fic recs

[exhuastedpigeon]

Fuck it Friday 🏒🥅

Tagged by @jeeyuns @daffi-990 and @wikiangela

the sabres won last night (and my boys looked damn good doing it). it inspired me to actually do an outline for my NHL AU. It's still just vibes but at least now I know where the vibes should be taking me.

Here's a little bit from Buck and Eddie learning more about each other on one of the first roadies of the season. This section involved researching Swedish citizenship laws and Mexican citizenship laws. It's way more complicated than I make it seem, but it's a fic so I can do whatever I want.

“Well when you do meet up with her, I can watch Chris for you if you want,” Buck offers with a smile. “Or I can come as backup.” “I may take you up on watching Chris,” Eddie smiles at him, soft and just for Buck. “But I think showing up with my six foot two two-hundred and thirty pound defensive partner to talk about a custody agreement might make her feel like she’s being ambushed. I still want her in Christopher's life and I'd like it if she were still in mine. She was my friend before she was anything else and I still love her, even if that love has changed into something besides romantic in the last two years." “Okay, yeah, that’s fair,” Buck nods, his heart twisting a little at the thought that Eddie might still be in love with his ex. He doesn't let himself linger on that though. “Your abuela is in L.A., right? Is the rest of your family there too?” “My parents are still in El Paso. I-I don’t want them here. When Shannon got pregnant they kind of lost it on me, called me irresponsible, said I was throwing my future away. Then they were pissed that Shannon wouldn’t marry me. It wasn’t good,” Eddie’s voice is tight, like this still hurts to talk about. “My middle sister Sophia is in her second year at Arizona State - she’s on their hockey team and I’m pretty positive she’ll get drafted if the PWHA is still around in a couple years when she graduates.” “She’s good?” “She’s unbelievable,” Eddie looks so fucking proud. “She led the team in goals last year as a freshman.” “Damn,” Buck names another mental note, this one to look up Sophia Diaz’s stats and highlights. “What about your youngest sister.” “She’s graduating from high school this year. I’m five years older than her so I’m not as close with her as I am with Sophia, but Adriana is so smart,” Eddie still looks insanely proud. “She wants to move to Stockholm for university. My parents don’t really want her to, so I offered to help her pay if she needs it.” “Is it harder to get into schools over there if you’re American?” “Technically, we can all get Swedish citizenship because of our mom,” Eddie tells him. “I’m actually an American citizen, Swedish, and Mexican. I’ve got all three passports and everything.” “What the fuck,” Of everything Eddie’s hold him, that’s the most surprising. "You're an international man of mystery, Diaz." "How do you now Austin Powers but not the Fast and the Furious?"

No pressure tagging - @cal-daisies-and-briars @wildlife4life @spotsandsocks @malewifediaz @spagheddiediaz @eddiebabygirldiaz @monsterrae1 @loserdiaz @watchyourbuck @king-buckley @rosieposiepuddingnpie @devirnis @underwater-ninja-13 @steadfastsaturnsrings @911-on-abc @thewolvesof1998 @thekristen999 @rainbow-nerdss @princessfbi @acountrygirlsfun @butchdiaz @callmenewbie and anyone who wants to share!

#buddie #buddie wip #wip: going five hole #fuck it friday #my wip #in this fic we love and support shannon diaz #and also will be loving and supporting her and eddie rebuilding their friendship

[epersonae]

five fic Friday

today it seems especially appropriate to rec some fics; we're going to keep these lovely characters and this lovely story alive in each others' hearts for a long time, I think, and this is part of how 💖

this week I've got five AUs, four long ones and a short one:

Our Fangs Mean Death (T, 86k) - modern vampires AU. this one had some moments of genius humor, including something about the Swede that I will not give away.

My Ocean Deep (E, 62k) by @piratecaptainscaptainpirates - Ed is a shapeshifter kraken-ish creature, Stede is a cryptid hunter who has been hired by the Badmintons to find......yup, the kraken. I especially loved the crew in this!

the happiest place on earth (is here with you) by @medievill (M, 33k) - I was SO delighted to see this AU come back and finish up recently. I am a Disneyland girlie rather than Disney World, tho it's been [mumble mumble] years since I've been there either, but I enjoyed this as the backdrop for a solid modern AU.

More of the Gravy Basket than of the Grave (E, 36k) by @veeagainsttheday - I missed this when it first came out on account of Leg Broke, so it was fantastic to discover later, a great spooky story with some delightful worldbuilding.

Every snowflake is different (just like you) (M, 2423) by @oatmilktruther - did I perhaps cry into my blahaj reading this? PERHAPS. just the sweetest little modern meet-cute that I want to tuck into my pocket and carry around at all times.

#five fic friday #ofmd #ofmd fic #more reading for your weekend inbetween crying if that is your jam

[baejax-the-great]

Fave fics of 2023

I read almost exclusively Achilles x Patroclus fics this year 😅😅Here is a sampling of some of my faves--some that were posted this year, and some that I only read this year.

Completed fics:

was it my august by archangelgf (Achilles x Patroclus, E). 18 year old popstar Achilles is the hottest mess in all of LA, and his father asks his ex-best friend (ex-something) Patroclus to help out. Achilles is such a mess. Just such a mess.

Twin Flames by @johaerys-writes (Achilles x Patrolcus, E). Prince and squire AU in which Patroclus didn't follow Achilles to Mount Pelion. After years of separation, Patroclus returns to Achilles' service in order to escort him to his betrothal.

Flowers for the Dead and Living by firefly_quill (Achiles x Patroclus, T). After mob violence ended Patroclus's medical career (and resulted in Achilles' disappearance), Pat gets a job in a flower shop. Very sweet.

Feral and Stray by littlelamblittlelamb. Achilles x Patroclus (E). In rural Australia in the 1950s, Achilles and Patroclus have a complicated-and frankly fucked up-relationship. Mind the content warnings on this one.

On the Ropes by red_smear. Achilles x Patroclus x Zagreus (E). Patroclus and Achilles are hella divorced, and the history is juicy. Zagreus accidentally forms relationships with them both while trying to win enough money boxing to get out of town.

Fugue by @swaps55. Shepard x Kaidan (M) Kaidan's life during the missing two years. Devastating. Gorgeous. I want to take the chapter where the Normandy is blown apart and post it on my wall.

Fics I hope to see in 2024 (aka WIPs)

Where the Dead Forget by @darlingpoppet (Achilles x Patroclus, M). Whilst Achilles is acting as a guard to the House of Hades, Patroclus drinks from the Lethe and forgets him entirely. Achilles grieves all over again.

you’re a walking disaster, and yet- by @johaerys-writes. Achilles x Patroclus (T). Pat and Achilles growing up in modern rural Greece. They both have issues, but now they have each other.

Face to Face by @juliafied. Zagreus x Thanatos (M). Thanatos comes across a familiar face on a dating app. Thanatos swipes right.

When Death Incarnate Got Banished to France by Marro (G). Thanatos is kicked out of the Underworld and trying to live like the mortals do in France. He gets a cat.

#fic rec #I need more wips to follow #what's everyone else reading #patrochilles #thanzag #five fic friday #except it's more than five fics

[zukkaoru]

family line, conan gray || jujutsu kaisen chapter 219 || antigone, tr. anne carson || flu game, fall out boy

my thoughts on the latest chapter [id in alt text]

#megumi fushiguro #jjk #tsumiki fushiguro #<- in spirit #i have no coherent words of my own so take a small collection of words from others #gave myself an actual stomachache this weekend bc i thought abt megumi for more than five minutes so uh. i'm doing fine #anyway this came to me in a vision while driving home friday morning like an hour and a half after reading the chapter so. enjoy or whateve #jjk spoilers #jjk 219 #hello grace here #also flu game is so megumicoded it hurts #i've got all this love i've got to keep to myself. all this effort to make it look effortless.. #i will refrain from writing a full analysis on why it's a megumi song disguised as a fic rn #but know that it is in my mind. slowly marinating.

[stxrshxpxd]

🌷 fic friday;

”clearly i’m shitfaced”

2010s damon albarn x reader,, flirty

Don’t ask me how we had ended up like this, I had no idea. Doing interviews in cafés and such was normal but in a pub at night was a tad more unusual for me. The first customary drink had turned into a few more and now Damon had begun asking me questions instead of the other way around.

“Oh, come on. You have to have an embarrassing sex story. I already told you like five of mine,” he laughed. I was still holding onto my pen and staring at the last note I made, which was scribbled down about 10 minutes ago. Around the time that I had brought up the 90s and asked something that vaguely tapped into the topic of groupie culture. Right, that’s how we had ended up on the topic of sex and why Damon was now interviewing me.

“Not really,” I laughed through my nerves. It was bad enough that I was interviewing The Damon Albarn, but the fact that we were now discussing my — quite uneventful — sex life made me a million times more nervous.

When I noticed that he was beginning to lose interest in the topic I contemplated whether I should make up a story. But then I thought again and instead the truth slipped out.

“I mean, I- I don’t have a crazy amount of sex stories in general.”

Damon looked up again from his slouched position and he kept his eyebrows raised as he twirled his glass of beer a few times on the table in front of him.

“That’s not true,” he decided, laughed it off and continued fidgeting with the half empty glass.

“What do you mean?” I chuckled and crossed my arms anxiously over my chest.

“That can’t be true,” he shook his head. “You’re gorgeous.”

“Thank you,” I laughed, taken off guard, and leaned back. The conversation came to an uncomfortable halt as I didn’t know exactly what he was trying to say to me, or what I was supposed to say back to him. I was mimicking his body language and was toying nervously with my pen.

“You know, I never loved the press. As, like, a phenomenon,” Damon began again and sat up more straight. “But journalist women.. I always found them extremely sexy. You know, put together and organised, with their pens and notepads and, mostly intelligent, questions.”

He stopped talking for a minute and I recognised I was supposed to say something, but nothing came to mind.

“A lot of them extraordinary shags,” he added casually with a few moments of intense eye contact.

“And not to come off as a complete narcissist — I’m afraid I might be one,” he chuckled. “But the best ones are those who are secretly big fans. They try to hide it but it always shows.”

“Do you meet all of them in pubs and get them drunk too?”

Damon smiled, amused with my witticism, and looked down for a second.

“Most of them can’t drink as much as you and still stay sharp.”

“Do you need to get all your partners hammered to get them into bed with you?” I quizzed and pretended to resume taking notes with a vicious smile. He was clearly amused, a pretty smirk playing on his lips.

“I don’t think you’ll need to be hammered.”

“Now that’s a bold statement.”

“Well.” He looked down. “You’re touching my knee an awful lot.”

The booth we were sat in was quite small and I had mindlessly rubbed my knee against his for the past minute.

“Yeah, because the knee is such an inherently sexual body part.”

“I bet yours are very sexy.” He tilted his head down with a mock pout and wink. I laughed.

“You can’t pull that off without the heartthrob baby face, I’m afraid.”

Damon smiled, agreeing, but his fingertips had found my knee under the table and they walked up my thigh now.

“Well, I don’t see you pulling away. Clearly I’ve still got it.”

His hand was nearly at my hip and he had slided in next to me. I realised I was the one continuing from there to close the space between us.

“Clearly I’m shitfaced,” I explained in a hushed voice which I was sure he felt on his lips. We melted together in a kiss as Damon’s hand slowly laid down on my upper thigh, fingertips squeezing gently. I had dropped my pen and shoved my hand into his short hair now.

#the way ive had this in my drafts for so long and rewritten it like five times to be about different guys im— #that’s why this doesn’t feel like damon but go off hahahah #britpop #blur #90s #damon albarn #imagine #fic #fic friday #damon albarn x reader

[autisticlancemcclain]

fic rec friday 15

welcome the the fifteenth fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.  

1. there, nestled against his pulse by @hiuythn

stop why are you doing this to me stop it stop it stop--

klance soulmate au where your right wrist has the first words your soulmate says to you, and the left holds the last words they'll say to you. super sad, so much angst, and i've been informed it'll make you sob until you choke.

1. there, nestled against his pulse (the main story, from Keith's POV) 2. this is what love looks like: (tnahp from Lance's POV + 38k of sequel content) 3. roll credits (deleted/extra scenes and additional headcanons)

okay. i am so desperately obsessed with this fic, i was obsessed with it the first time i read it and im obsessed with it now. and yes i know i did all hiuythn fics last week and i promise i wont this week. BUT i have a set of comments associated with this fic bc it is Just That Good and so i shall present them to u now:

- literally the funniest characterization of shiro i’ve ever read. this shiro is gay and tired. this shiro unironically and frequently says “move. i’m gay” and gets away with it at the garrison. this shiro has been through A Lot and just wants to fucking retire - allura here is so so funny she’s such a badass. she’s giving “i love shiny things! like the shine of your spilled blood on the floor if you say that dumb shit one more fucking time!!” we stan a queen. - coran is a Mood. this man is desperately trying to reign in four teenagers and two young adults and just wants to go to bed and also he cares for them all so so much. ultimate dad - pidge is Mischief Personified. she is a brat and i adore her. she’s here to cause problems and by god she will succeed - hunk is so done it’s so fucking funny. “that’s literally impossible.” he’s a genius and he knows it, he’s glad to call you out on your bullshit. he doesn’t even TRY to pretend he can keep a secret and/or handle drama god what a mood - don’t even get me started on klance!! they’re so funny omg. the banter is EXQUISITE. lance and keith adore each other so much and they’re so badass. literally the coolest power couple fight scenes ever to be made, i do adore. gosh. and the ROMANCE they are so devoted to each other i’m emotional - honourable mention of lance’s legs and keith’a Soft Squishy Feelings that are mentioned so often that they’re characters. iconic. all in all, the best way to describe this series is Gay and Tired. i love it and i’m sad to see it end. i will be rereading it an embarrassing number of times. infinity/10

2. all the little things by @jilliancares

Or: 5 times Keith let Lance get away with things that he'd never let anyone else do, and 1 time Lance realized that he was, apparently, special

oblivious lance will always be funny to me. and the idea of keith just letting lance get away with Everything and Everyone knowing how whipped he is except for lance himself?? peak humour. never not funny

3. Full Disclosure by @dragonomatopoeia

Keith is impulsive and straightforward when it comes to most things, and emotions are no exception. It's no surprise, then, that when he realises that he might have developed a crush on Lance, he tries to tell him immediately. Unfortunately, it's very hard to account for both circumstance and who Lance is as a person.

Alternatively: Four Times Keith Tried to Confess and One Time Lance Actually Understood

more 2016 eliteness!! this fic is hilarious. and also its number one selling quality is that all of the characters are trans and nd i literally love that for them. nonbinary hunk loml

4. catch me, before i fall by @pastelrainbow

‘We are a good team.’

Even now, just recalling the way Lance had smiled as the words left his lips, made Keith’s heart race and his cheeks redden. Lance had never looked at him so fondly before. No boy ever had. The thought of it made a sigh escape his lips and Keith hunched his shoulders, a pout tugging his lips downwards.

Curse my weak gay heart.

-

a what if keith caught lance outside his cryo-pod.

the idea of keith being a suave casanova with more game than aphrodite herself but immediately going bright red and hissing when shiro teases him. peak dynamic. absolutely nailed siblings 

5. of demons and dates by spartona (faveour)

Three times Keith scares Lance shitless with his ghost shenanigans, and one time Lance tries to retaliate.

first of all. BFU KLANCE BFU KLANCE BFU KLANCE. second of all. the  “we’ve BEEN dating u dumbass ily” trope is so funny to me. i will never get over it

that’s it for today!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!

#actually lots of five plus one esque fics this week #bc i love them #ahem anyways #vld #voltron #lance #lance mcclain #keith #keith kogane #klance #team as family #fluff and humour #broganes #fic rec #fic rec friday #longpost

[fandom-friday]

A couple ways to get hurt this week:

The Hostage series, by @kybercrystals94

https://www.tumblr.com/kybercrystals94/746217418255384576/the-hostage-part-5

Listen - Kyber doesn’t go easy in their fics, so you can basically expect to get your heart shattered. But this little series has me on the edge of my seat, with the worry and anxiety of TBB after Omega is taken hostage. I can’t wait to see where this one goes!!

The Last Word by @ariadnes-red-thread

https://www.tumblr.com/ariadnes-red-thread/705732688009691136/chapter-one-burn-with-laughter-series

18+! I re-read the first chapter of this fic and I absolutely adore the way they wrote this awkward morning-after-drunk sex encounter between OC Mal and Fives. The “oh shit what did I do” morphs into some panty-combusting memories. The best part is that we see the memories from both sides and I tell you - the heat is THERE. 🔥🔥 The way she writes Fives is cocky, but also self-deprecating and perfect. ❤️ Love her version so much and intrigued by Mal. Again - can’t wait to see where this one goes!

Finally, Freeze Thaw by AnEchoInHere

https://archiveofourown.org/works/49683310?view_adult=true

This one is about Echo almost dying on a mission and therefore heavy on the Echo Whump. Honestly it’s Wrecker’s guilt that does me in every time. Bring the tissues. ❤️❤️

OOOOH I love all of these. I've read The Last Word, and I LOOOOVE where Aria is going with it. Mal is FANTASTIC and I love how Aria writes Fives and his interactions with Mal. And The Hostage and Freeze Thaw both seem like PHENOMENALLY angsty fics that are going to curb-stomp my emotions. I KNOW WHAT I'M ABOUT. Thanks so much for sending this list in!

Participate in Fandom Friday to show your favorite creators from this week some love! :)

#FANDOM FRIDAY #creator appreciation #fic rec #fanfiction #fan fic #star wars #the clone wars #tcw #the bad batch #tbb #nsft #lemon #lemony lemon #hunter #wrecker #echo #omega #tech #crosshair #whump #angst #arc trooper fives #fives x oc #OC Mal Darroch #hurt/comfort

[brigdh]

Five Fic Friday

Chef's Best by Hideous_Sun_Demon (9k, gen, Roach and Izzy focused) Set mid-S2, Izzy won't eat Roach's food. Roach is going to figure out why. This sounds fluffy, and it's not not sweet, but OOF, it's so sharp and smart and perfectly characterized. I'm in love.

trigger happy by holograms (3k, Ed/Stede) Post-S2, Stede has a problem with premature ejaculation. Ed's flattered, but he's going to figure out a way to take things slow. Hot and funny.

Dear Doctor Love by @chocolatepot (2k, Ed/Stede) Modern AU, both Ed and Stede want the other to propose. Obviously the solution is to write in to an advice column! Based on the viral AITA post, which is perfectly suited to these lunatics. Super funny and cute.

those vows we made, we fucked up for free by @thesoulundone (2k, Ed/Stede) Post-S1, SUPREMELY dark fic with Ed keeping Stede as a captive. Mind the tags. I'm obsessed with this fic, it's the dark Blackbonnet I'm always wanting to see more of. I love the characterizations of everyone here, and the subtle build-up of dread.

don't wait for the dust to settle by florence_after_midnight (4k, Ed/Stede) Another dark Blackbonnet fic. A take on the sex scene in 2x06, where Stede pushes a little too hard and fast and Ed's consent is extremely dub-. This is really well-written, and the miscommunication is so believable, and it's all just tragic.

#fic recs #our flag means death #blackbonnet #(mostly) #izzy hands #five fic friday

[wild-karrde]

Happy Fandom Friday!

Clone Humping Art* (@pinkiemme): Emme started a new series and it’s one you don’t want to miss. I’m linking Howzer because he is SO beautiful. The shadow of his V-line and the way his muscles are flexing—it’s all around delightful. (And her other artworks are just as stunning.)

Five-Oh-Thirst* (@deejadabbles): A fun, flirty one-shot showcasing Fives and Kix���s attempts at lap dances. The way Deeja writes both Fives and Kix is so attractive. And the fact she managed to write lap dancing so sensually is amazing.

Wolffe Drabble* (@littlemissmanga): Beth did such a wonderful job at portraying Wolffe as both sweet and caring while maintaining his assertive personality. I love when clones dote on their partner, and Wolffe’s interaction with a self-reliant Reader was incredibly well-written.

Fox Drabble (@wild-karrde): This was such a delight to read. From the teasing and flirting to Fox’s sarcastic, deadpanned personality, you captured Fox splendidly. He had so many one-liners that had me chuckling, and the banter alone made this so enjoyable.

Everybody Hates Neyo* (@dystopicjumpsuit): This was HOT. From the hate sex to the biting, DJ has written Neyo in such a domineering yet enticing way. He’s arrogant and full of himself but also a tiny bit soft (emphasis on tiny). There’s a nice little surprise at the end that’s the cherry atop this one-shot.

*18+ content

HAPPY FANDOM FRIDAY INDEED. WHOOOOOOO BOY YOU BOUGHT THE SPICE THIS WEEK ALLI!

These are all such GREAT picks (and I am so very flattered that my Fox Drabble got included with them). The variety is *chef’s kiss*. I SALUTE YOU FOR THIS LIST! Thanks so much for sending all these recs in!!!!

Participate in Fandom Friday to show your favorite creators from this week some love! :)

#FANDOM FRIDAY #creator appreciation #fic rec #nsft #lemon #lemony lemon #Star Wars #the clone wars #tcw #arc trooper echo #arc trooper fives #clone trooper Jesse #captain Howzer #commander Cody #clone medic kix #the bad batch #tbb #Hunter #501st x reader #501st x you #commander Wolffe #commander Wolffe x reader #commander Wolffe x you #commander fox #commander fox reader #commander fox x you #commander neyo #commander neyo x reader #commander neyo x you

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Five Fics Friday: March 8/24

Happy Friday everyone!! It's a shorter weekend for those of us in North America, so may as well spend all the time you got with one of these fantastic fics added to my MFL list!! Enjoy! :D

RECENT MFLs

Freeing from the Chains by writingismydivision (G, 1,552 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TFP, Angst with Happy Ending, Good Friend Molly) – It was like being held by chains, to be in love with him.

Echoes of the Heart by reveling_in_mayhem (T, 4,478+ w. || 3/8 Ch. || WiP || Magical Realism AU || Hurt/Comfort) – Sherlock Holmes is nine years old when he makes a wish. John Watson is twelve years old when he starts to dream of a boy with sad eyes. Sometimes, the wishes we make come true. Sometimes, eventually, we wish for something different. This is the story of how one wish changes the lives of two boys forever.

My heart is yours by Lock_John_Silver (E, 5,864 w., 2 Ch. || Holidays, Established Relationship, Marriage Proposal, Fluff, Light Dom/Sub, Wedding, Love Poems, Wedding Rings) – During the holiday in gorgeous Tuscany, John makes a decision for this year's Christmas. Their last night in Italy doesn't change his mind in the slightest.

Oyster and Mushroom Soup by meet_me_in_samarra (M, 8,922 w., 3 Ch. || Pining Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock, Awkward Flirting, Oblivious John, Humour and Crack, Internet Seduction Advice, POV Sherlock, Clueless Sherlock, Getting Together, Cooking) – What does a helplessly pining but absolutely clueless Sherlock do in order to woo an oblivious John? He turns to the internet for advice on the art of seduction and notes the experiments in his secret laboratory journal. Sherlock's second try to win over John involves a lot of special cooking recipes. Part 2 of the Sherlock´s Secret Laboratory Journal series

The Acquisition Of One John Watson by lookupkate (E, 17,976 w., 16 Ch. || Serial Killer AU || Serial Killer John, Vigilante John, BAMF John, Infatuated Sherlock, First Kiss) – Sherlock watched John looooooong before they ever met. John has a secret.

#five fics friday #johnlock fic recs #my fic recs #marked for later fics

[exhuastedpigeon]

Fuck it Friday

Tagged by @cal-daisies-and-briars @steadfastsaturnsrings @devirnis @daffi-990 @hippolotamus @wikiangela @spagheddiediaz :)

it's World Junior season and no one has scored on Sweden yet. I've consumed so much hockey the last three days and now I'm back on my NHL AU bullshit because even though my NHL team is actively hurting me at every turn, this stupid sport and fic are still fun for me. I may have shared this excerpt before, but I don't think I have.

“He's from Texas. They don’t even have ice in Texas,” Buck mutters. He knows that he’s being a shithead about it, it’s just he’s their star defensemen and he’s maybe still nursing a minor wounded ego about Diaz going higher than him in the draft.  Four years ago.  Whatever.  He’s better than Diaz.  It’s just that Diaz is actually really fucking good. He’s fast as hell and he plays really pretty hockey. His hands are so soft that sometimes when Buck watches him he wonders why he doesn’t play forward, but then he sees Diaz’s back check and he remembers the guy plays amazing defense too. It’s annoying.  “Eddie, come meet the guys,” Bobby says, gesturing for Diaz to join them.  Diaz finished putting on his shirt and jogs over to them, a wide grin on his face.  “Eddie, this is Chimney and Buck,” Bobby gestures as he speaks. “And this is our skating coach - Henrietta Wilson.” “Oh, I know Eddie,” Hen appears from basically out of nowhere. “Hey Hen,” Eddie pulls her into a hug. “Can’t thank you enough for the work you did with me this summer.” Buck looks between Hen and Diaz with a frown. He shouldn't know Hen already, even if hockey is a small community, it’s not that small. Buck huffs and spends the first day of camp trying to one up Diaz in all the lifting drills they do. He ends the day exhausted and a little pissed that Diaz is as good off the ice as he is on it.  He rushes through his cool down so he can get away from Diaz before Buck does something stupid like punch him for beating him in their unofficial squat contest or drop to his knees to suck him off for how fucking pretty his snapshot is. 

no pressure tagging @thewolvesof1998 @wildlife4life @spotsandsocks @monsterrae1 @loserdiaz @watchyourbuck @underwater-ninja-13 @malewifediaz @rosieposiepuddingnpie @eddiebabygirldiaz and any anyone who wants to share!

#fuck it friday #buddie #buddie wip #fic: going five-hole

[epersonae]

five fic friday

this week in "the devil works fast but fic writers work faster", have three short fic about the blue morning-after robe, based on that interview with Gypsy Taylor:

One Tiny Secret, Soft and Sweet (T, 2157) by @piratecaptainscaptainpirates

Soft like silk chiffon (T, 1760) by @jaskierx

The Little Secret (T, 1559) by @amuseoffyre

And two slightly longer innkeepers era fic:

Perfectly Ordinary Tuesday (M, 4932) by @petrichorca and a co-author whose tumblr I don't know - very funny wedding fic featuring "Dave" (I think I saw a tumblr post about casting Jemaine as Dave, which is perfect)

Look Back (M, 4439) by @theyellowestmustard - as a fellow tragedy, uh, dis-enjoyer, I'm with Ed on his reaction to Orpheus and Eurydice.

Also as a side note, I am collecting fics where Ed tells either Stede, the crew, or both, about what Izzy said to him in 1x10 (etc), and as of today there are now five bookmarks in that collection, plus my own fic on that theme.

#five fic friday #ofmd #ofmd fic #there's some good canon era fic happening these days #it's nice #also if y'all know of more fics to add to that collection lmk! #ofmd fic rec

[baejax-the-great]

jamming my fingertips into all your wounds by riverdanceeee (Achilles x Patroclus, E, WIP). Modern college AU. Patroclus dumped Achilles years ago. Now he needs him to fill in as harpist for his university final project. Patroclus is incredibly unhinged in this, lmao. Love it.

Where The Dead Forget by @darlingpoppet (Achilles x Patroclus, E, WIP). Patroclus drank from the Lethe and removed every memory he had of Achilles. Achilles has finally been granted permission to visit him in Elysium. So angsty and with so many fun Iliad cameos.

The Rumor Mill by Paladingineer (Gen, G, complete). Hawke accidentally (and perhaps Varric knowingly) turns herself into a modern day Atalanta of sorts. Short and fun.

New Behaviors by Luddleston (Thanatos x Zagreus, E, Complete). Prior to Zagreus, Thanatos had never had sexual desire, much less sex. It's a learning experience.

As Fate Would Have It by @johaerys-writes (Achilles x Patroclus, E, WIP). First omegaverse story I've read. I'm keen on any story where the characters are telling each other how annoyed they are with each other in the midst of boning.

#hades game #five fic friday #fic rec #fic friday #really need to do some more reading #time to start digging through AO3 again I suppose

[patrochillesvibes]

Five Fic Friday

Thought I would share a few fics I adore. These fics do not have a lot of hits, about 1k. Please give them some love 💕:

1. translated to the silent void by blood money | M | 1.4k |

Achilles mourns over Patroclus’ body. Warning 😭

2. last times by @wrizard  | M | 3.4k |

“If you fuck me well enough,” Achilles gasps, “I’ll do anything you like” A tent scene where Achilles and Patroclus argue about Achilles’ refusal to fight. Prime bratchilles. 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️

3. The Gift by stygius | G | 1.5k |

Achilles tells Zagreus about his time as a maiden on the island of Skyros. 

4. you've always been and you'll always be by @heypax​ | G | 5.2k |

Thetis brings Achilles to Skyros. He meets someone unexpected there.

5. Get it out of your system by @nambnb​ | E | 4.6k |

Another tent scene where Achilles and Patroclus argue about Achilles’ refusal to fight. More bratchilles. 😈

Fics are listed in no particular order. Want more? Check out some Pyrrha themed fic recs. Also check out some Spicy patrochilles fic recs.  

#fic rec #five fic friday #fanfic #rec list #patrochilles #Achilles x Patroclus #Hades Game #TSoA #the Iliad #fic rec friday