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hmslusitania · 1 month

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Eddie stares at the screen. It’s not — the title is…

Well.

Fuck.

He’s read enough of the Reddit thread in question to know that he’s phrasing it right but he doesn’t—

It feels bad to post something that starts with “AITA my [32M] best friend [32M] just started dating someone new and for the first time since I’ve known him its a guy [39M]. Every time I think about them together it makes me want to puke and/or die and/or punch somebody. I’ve never thought I was homophobic before. One of my closest friends at work (and our workplace is like a family in the most literal aside from blood sense) is a lesbian and I have a regular wine night with her wife and we’ve never had an issue!”

But like. He doesn’t know what else to do. He can’t exactly ask Buck about it. And he’s not going to text Hen or Karen to ask them to delve into their deeper analyses of his psyche and whether or not they’ve secretly picked up “”””signs”””” that he’s homophobic. If they have? He doesn’t want to know. Because he’s not a homophobe! He isn’t! Really truly!!

At least he’s never been before when it was Hen and Karen and Michael and David and people he'd met on calls and even Josh (his issues with Josh had been 1,000% unrelated to Josh’s sexuality). But for whatever reason, Buck and Tommy dating — Buck and Tommy kissing — Buck and Tommy having sex and—

He loses the plot in favour of unidentifiable rage.

He makes the Reddit post.

He is primarily asked for additional context.

“Well. Uh. Let’s call him Stag. Has been my best friend since we defused a bomb together I don’t even know like five years ago? And he’s like the best friend I’ve ever had to the point where I’ve changed my will so that he’s the person who gets my son in the event of my untimely demise. And like! I like his boyfriend! I really do, it’s not that I’m worried that if something happens to me and Stag has to take custody of our son I’m worried about how [let’s call him Gatling] would do with our kid. He’s a cool guy and tbh we were friends first and he’d probably make a wicked stepdad to anyone’s kid, but also… okay it got late and I don’t think this is an accurate representation of the situation but! Anyway! Additional information of note being that I like both of them as people a whole bunch so the idea that I might be activating latent homophobic responses just because of either of them as people is nonsense haha.”

And he isn’t! Eddie isn’t worried about how Tommy would be as a stepdad. Really! It doesn’t even give him hives to think about dying anymore.

It takes until he wakes up in a cold sweat at three in the morning for him to realise that he doesn’t think of Buck as Chris’s stepdad. He thinks of him as Chris’s other dad, who is — who is dating someone a whole lot like Eddie — who is dating another man who isn’t Eddie — and…

And, well.

Well, fuck.

“Edit: false alarm I am not homophobic. But I AM in love with, uh, Stag even though he’s dating Gatling. How do I tell him?”

Because sometimes, asking relationship advice from complete strangers online is the only reasonable way to proceed. And Eddie can only hope, desperately, that they have the answers.

#its late I’m exhausted I haven’t written 9-1-1 fic in 2.5 years #9-1-1 #buddie #the ghost ship scribbles

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cranberryjuice-posts · 3 months

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I’m abt to post a new clarisse FIC but I just wanted to go on a rant abt this

SPOILERS FOR PJO

Clarisse and silena Were in love. Ive already made a post abt thhis before but I wanna just like elaborate

- “Clarisse is in love with Chris and silena is in love with Charles beckendorf”

Yes that’s true but have you ever noticed how differently clarisse treats female characters vrs male characters. She softer and while still a bitch not an actually shitty person to characters like for example annabeth, silena and more, in the sea of monsters she was concerned for annabeth after she broke her ribs but in the next line insulted Percy.

She is also seen countless times being kinder to annabeth in multiple different scenes while still be harsh to other male characters. She gets ruthless in the war meeting in the final book and all she said is “I apologize to only silena” or something like that. When have we ever seen clarisse apologize than to silena

- “clarisse went into the labyrinth to find Chris she loved him”

Clarisse went into the labyrinth to find Chris, the only reason for this was because he showed up to her house in Arizona. She felt responsible to get him back from camp. She also helped nurse him back to sanity until Dionysius could help.

Clarisse felt responsible for Chris, that’s why and she can still love him platonically. That’s how I’ve always viewed their relationship was them being platonic.

- “silena and clarisse Were Just good friends that’s it”

Clarisse and silena Are direct parallels to Achilles and Patroclus, two characters in the Iliad who are very clearly lovers.

I Said it once I’ll say it again, Rick most likely didn’t think about making both girls the parallels to the myth until he was already writing the book. If he had decided on that way before I firmly believe he would of made them both together

But I would also like to add his books came out in the early 2000’s the last Olympian coming out in 2009 and queer represantion wasn’t as “common” as it is now. With Disney also being his publisher he was probably hesitant to even introduce a gay character in his books let alone two sapphic women.

Yes we started to see change for queer identies in the early 2000’s we also have to still think that again Disney is ricks publisher, even Disney didn’t really start being more accepting of LGBTQ+ identies until recently.

- “well if all that’s true why didn’t Rick just make them in love in the final book”

I Just explained why above but also he had already written their relationships out, silena and beckendorf in the demigod diaries or which ever one it was and clarisse and Chris in the battle of the labyrinth.

He can’t just go back and completely rewrite the cannon relationships he has set without it being weird.

——

In the end even actors like Dior who plays clarisse says that her character and silena will have a more sapphic relationship and with the show coming out now and with season 2 being announced, Rick having cannon gay characters a whole book about nico and will who are to young men in a relationship going through Tartarus, I belive Rick will make silena and clarisse have a more romantic relationship compared to the books.

Also we’re going to be seeing a lot of change anyways, Rick wrote these books YEARS ago and of course like any artist you will critique your old work. So again I hope we see a more developed and romantic relationship between silena and clarisse especially since Clarisse is very much a lesbian coded character

That’s it Ty for coming to my Ted talk 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

#lesbian #wlw #clarisse la rue #clarisse pjo #clarisse x reader #clarisse larue #clarisse x silena #percy jackson show #pjo show #pjo fandom #percy jackson

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princess-pathetic-112898 · 5 months

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The homophobes/transphobes raging at the latest retcon of Nightcrawler’s origin story is so funny to me. Like- what are you even doing here? You’re complaining about an X-Men book having identity politics??? The series that has been Marvel’s go-to soapbox since the 1960’s?? The series that’s been so ridiculously queer-coded in everything from its conflicts to its character arcs to its goddamn fashion choices for decades??? I’m sorry, did you take a wrong turn and walk into the wrong fandom?

Never mind that having Mystique & Destiny being Kurt’s bio parents was always Chris Claremont’s original intent. Or that their relationship has pretty much always been canon, or that this isn’t even their first time coparenting (albeit poorly, but we love that drama).

You say it’s too convoluted? Ok, and the Azazel retcon wasn’t? Again, it’s X-Men, where convoluted origins and conspiracies reign supreme. You say it conflicts with Kurt’s identity as a man of faith? As if the whole point of his religion wasn’t always to clash with his demonic appearance in order to make the statement that true faith needs to be rooted in love and compassion and not bigotry or an outward show of righteousness? As if the comics have never had Kurt cross paths with far-right Christian nationalists who refused to see him for who he was?

I mean- who’s gonna tell these guys about this classic? Did they think Logurt was a froyo flavor?

In conclusion, I generally don’t like to gatekeep fandom, but omfg these people are such fake fans. As for me, my only issue with the retcon is the reframing of Raven as having wholly loved Kurt & wanted him but she just… misplaced her baby I guess. Like c’mon, guys, we can let Mystique be a messy lesbian AND a shitty baby-yeeting mom, give us that diversity win.

#fan post #fan rant #x men #x men comics #x men blue: origins #marvel #marvel comics #nightcrawler #kurt wagner #mystique #raven darkholme #mystique xmen #destiny #irene adler #mystique x destiny #lgbtq #lgbtqia #queer representation

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serenewrap · 1 month

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my oddly specific marauders modern au headcanons

if james is white (and even if he’s desi but especially if he’s any degree of white) then he’s the kind of white person who knows all of the lyrics to the childish gambino song bonfire and gets a little too into it every time it comes on (not saying the slurs of course but he just likes the song like WAYY too much)

i firmly disagree with the headcanon that sirius listens to popular music from the current day i feel like his playlists are almost exclusively pre-1990 i also know he’s incredibly annoying about it too like bro was disappointed that remus and peter already knew who david bowie was because he wanted to *introduce* them to him - he likes sufjan though because everybody likes sufjan

james and remus are only children, peter is the youngest, sirius is the oldest but people who don’t know him think he’s the youngest (it drives him crazy but regulus thinks it’s funny), mary is also the oldest, lily is the youngest, dorcas is the oldest, and marlene is a middle child (i know a lot of ppl headcanon her as the youngest but hear me out it just make sense

don’t love the headcanons about the boys having crazy high body counts i feel like they’re far too dorky but i feel like marlene is absolutely ran through (respect tho) - adding onto that i feel like she’s one of those gay ppl who always knew she was gay like didn’t struggle w coming out at all

peter is a bit of a film bro and his letterboxd is IMMACULATE - if he has a flaw it’s that he quotes pulp fiction all the time and they’re all a little sick of it,,,he and mary watch movies together because everyone else finds their in-depth shot for shot analysis annoying

if lily is a lesbian, in her comphet era her taste in celebrity men was INCREDIBLY normal and that’s what got her clocked. like yes babe, i really believe that chris evans and george clooney are your number one celeb crushes! on the other hand, mary’s taste in celeb men would have her put on a watchlist (she spent about an hour arguing with sirius about jared leto)

regulus loves fiona apple that’s it that’s the tweet james is not a fan but he’ll pretend for regulus’ sake (his music taste is shockingly basic so none of the guys ever let him have the aux)

black bros are both terrible drivers,,,james taught reg and it almost killed their relationship and sirius is just accident-prone

casanova remus as a headcanon is kinda ooc (In My Opinion obviously if you like it go crazy) but i feel like remus is one of those people who’s genuinely oblivious about being attractive like,,,he’ll be completely unaware that people are flirting with him/are interested in him,,,obviously this sends sirius to Places

dorcas is BIG into arts and crafts like one thing about her she does not play about those little projects (and remus likes them too they do them together)

#marauders #mine #the marauders era #james potter #regulus black #jegulus #otp: you’re hesitating love #remus lupin #lily evans #sirius black #peter pettigrew #marlene mckinnon #dorcas meadowes #dorlene #wolfstar #mary macdonald #otp: you are magic #otp: what point is there in living a hungry life?

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eva-knits12 · 2 months

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The Hate and Death Threats Are Uncalled For

Trigger warning: Mentions of suicide. If you are feeling suicidal, please dial 988 or 911 immediately!

DISCLAIMER: If you believe that Chris Evan's "marriage" is PR, then fine. I know it's PR, it's fake, there's a contract involved. If you believe it's real, then fine. I have nothing against you if you believe it's real. I disagree. I think we can find some common ground here.

PR contracts aren't a new thing in Hollywood. They've been around since the beginning of Hollywood, and they'll keep coming out with PR contracts. PR contracts were a way to cover up a star's sexual orientation, which is where fake marriages come into play here. They were legal up until 1965. Liberace was gay. So was Rock Hudson. Katherine Hepburn was a closeted lesbian. All of them were in PR marriages, and under PR contracts. So, this isn't the first time we've had a PR contract, and it's not going to be the last PR contract. They'll still exist even after Chris and the porn troll break up.

A few bloggers on here have been getting hate asks, and death threats. I refuse to name this person, and I refuse to give her the space on my blog. She doesn't deserve the space on my blog, and she doesn't deserve to live in my head rent-free.

There are bloggers wishing death upon Chris. Wishing that he'd drown, kill himself, etc. That's uncalled for! If I didn't like Chris, I wouldn't wish death upon him. That speaks volumes about your character.

These same bloggers have sent hate asks to several people, and have even accused certain bloggers of switching sides. I'm #Team Chris. I haven't changed my stance that this is PR. I was team PR until all of this hate, all of these DM's and all of the bullying started to intensify. Like I said, if you believe that this marriage is real, then fine. As I have stated before, I disagree. I'm still adult enough to let you have your beliefs, and guess what? That's okay! All I want is for Chris to be happy.

Chris looks miserable right now. There's no life in his soul, no life or light in his eyes, he's lost so much weight due to stress. There is little holding him together at this point. This is beyond guilt. He's in this contract, and it's deeper than we think.

This PR stunt will end when it's supposed to end. Chris and the porn troll will break up at some point, and it's not up to us to put out articles because it's not going on OUR timeline. Only two people know when this will end.

Telling someone to off themselves, wish they'd unalive themselves, and even making death threats is uncalled for. There are kids that have committed suicide because they were told to off themselves. There are people sitting in jail on murder charges because they have told a person to do this. You can be arrested for this!

The police can build a case easily because posts on IG, tumblr, facebook, e-mails and texts are time stamped. So, it doesn't take a detective to build a case.

I have lost two people in my life to suicide, and it never gets any easier.

All this hate right now is just uncalled for. I don't care what side you're on, I think both team PR and team real are unhinged. Both sides keep attacking each other over their own personal beliefs, and when someone walks away, or even interacts with someone from the other side, we're accused of switching sides. If you switch sides, fine. I have nothing against you if you do.

I'm Team Chris. There's still good in the man, and we just want to see him happy. He is still a decent human being underneath all this.

"Be excellent to each other."-Bill and Ted

Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

#chris evans #team chris #ted talk #bill and ted

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ilovecupcakesandtea · 2 months

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Chapter one Chapter three My Master List

Title: Chapter two

Word Count: 1010

Archive Warnings: Smut in future chapters. Slight angst. Alcohol misuse.

Rating: E

Pairing(s): Eddie Munson/Steve Harrington Robin Buckley/Chrissy Cunningham

Character(s): Eddie Munson, Steve Harrington, Robin Buckley, Chrissy Cunningham, Benny, Uncle Wayne & The Party

Tags: Smut. Angst. Steddie. Buckingham. Steve Harrington. Eddie Munson. Robin Buckley. Chrissy Cunningham. Band AU. TW Alcohol use.

Summary (optional): Two different styles of music, two boys that really don't like each other. What could possibly go wrong?

Beta Reader: Thank you so much to my beautiful beta readers @slippy-slip @ladydarklord & @dontwasteyourchances

Art link and credit: Art is by the wonderfully talented @pink-luna-moth (as is the banner)

Fic link and credit: Ao3 Link

AN: First off thank you to Alex for the art and being just amazing to work alongside. Thank you to Slip for dragging me back from the edge so many times over this. I really am so excited to have this out here!!

I wrote this for the @strangerthingsreversebigbang event and had a lot of fun doing so!!

Divider links: reblog and music notes

"So you and Robin, ay?" Eddie asked as he and Chrissy sat around scribbling into notebooks one evening.

"Oh hush, it's nothing, just a handful of dates is all" Chrissy blushed.

"Yeah, sure, a handful of dates. We both know what that means for lesbians. You'll be married by the end of the week." Eddie laughed, poking her side.

"I'm bisexual you biphobic ass" Chrissy responded. "But yes, only a handful of dates."

"You clearly like her, Chris, you need to ask her out officially. Do something romantic and ask her the next time you go down on her or something" Eddie shrugged, picking up his dragon slayer and strumming out a few chords.

"Eww! Dont be so crass." Chrissy squeaked.

Eddie laughed and continued to go between playing and writing for a few more minutes.

"Chris, we need to be playing to people, we need a band" Eddie sighed.

"We do, we really do. We need a few more people. Robin can play the guitar really well and it would be a good excuse for me to pick my bass back up, I really should play it more."

"Ok, so we have 2 guitarists and a bassist, as well as 2 singers." Eddie counted on his fingers.

"I'll speak to Robs tomorrow and see what she says if you want?" Chrissy said as she continued to write lyrics in her notebook.

The following day Chrissy was sat out by Lovers Lake with Robin, something they did most days after school. They spent time talking about their days, working on homework and making out as much as they could.

"Birdie, me and Eddie were doing some songwriting last night when we discussed being in a band. We were wondering if you wanted to join us and start a band. I can play bass, you and Eddie can play guitar and Eddie can sing." Chrissy asked.

"Oh, that could be so fun! I would love to bunny" Robin answered kissing Chrissy.

"Steve can play the drums so I could ask him to join too if that's ok? It could be even more fun with him in the band too. We need a place to practice and we need to start getting gigs and then keep working our way up!" Robin rambled making Chrissy giggle.

"Sure baby, we can ask Steve to join. I'll let Eddie know when I see him next. It'll be great. We can do band practice at mine, we can use one of the garages." she smiled at the girl in front of her.

"I spoke to Robin, she's excited to join us and she's suggested Steve joins as well, I've said it's ok but that I would tell you when I next see you." Chrissy told Eddie later that week when they met up again for their weekly movie evening.

"Steve?" Eddie questions as he sets chips into a bowl.

"Harrington, yes" Chrissy replied as she picked the bowl up and curled into the corner of the couch with it.

"Absolutely not, not that top 40, granddad rock-listening jock." Eddie huffed and went to grab another bowl for more chips, knowing full well he had no chance of getting the others back from Chrissy. He was secretly happy about this though, she was eating much better recently.

"He plays the drums and is into punk you ass, can we at least try with him?" Chrissy asked, looking up at him with her big bright eyes that she knew worked.

"Fine," Eddie grumbled "but I'm not happy about it at all."

"Just see how it is at mine next week." she smiled as Eddie got comfy and they started the film. "Not to mention I remember you having a crush on him all those years ago." she winked.

"Oh hush you, you menace of a pixie" Eddie laughed, reaching for the remote and pressing play on the film they had set up to watch.

"So," Robin started as she slid into the dining booth opposite Steve for their weekly fries and milkshake bitchfest. "I was talking to Chrissy the other day and she and Eddie are starting a band, I'm joining them. I want you to join us too. It could be so fun."

"Munson?" was all Steve said looking at her.

"Yes, Munson." Robin sighed. "Will you at least think about it?"

"Yeah ok, anything for you and your little girlfriend," Steve said, sounding very falsely put out by this.

"She's not my girlfriend" Robin hissed at him. "Just come to hers next week and see how practice goes please."

"You know I'll be there, you'll need a lift there and back. I'm not trusting Munson in that death wagon to keep you safe." Steve replied, starting to eat the food that had been placed in front of him.

"Oh dingus, I remember you used to have a crush on him, what happened to that?" Robin cackled.

"I never had a crush on him, don't be stupid." Steve replied unconvincingly.

"Steve said he'll join us in the band," Robin announced to Chrissy as they sat down to eat lunch together a couple of days later.

"Is he as excited as Eddie is?" Chrissy giggled, picking at her salad.

"Oh yes, very," Robin laughed. "They'll be fine when we can get them together and playing some music"

"I can't wait to get playing and be able to spend more time with you" Chrissy blushed.

"Me neither, it's going to be so fun. I really hope we make it big. It would be so awesome to make our dreams come together." Robin smiled.

"Urg stop being so cute when I can't grab you and kiss you, got to save that for later. Want to stay over mine tonight?" Chrissy asked.

"Erm, yeah, of course" The other girl stuttered.

"Good, we can have loads of fun," Chrissy winked.

"I'll need to head to mine for a little while after my last class, let my parents know, and grab a bag of things," Robin said, trying to hide behind her food.

#eddie munson #steve harrington #stranger things #steddie #robin buckley #steve x eddie #chrissy cunningham #buckingham #steddie fic #steddie fanfic #steddie fandom #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things reverse big bang #tw alcohol #tw smut #smut

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maochira · 9 months

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Hii I just wanted to say you are my most fav writer cus your the only one who writes for lavin, Lorenzo and others who are not highly written and the way you depict them seems so on point 😭

May i request a crying, insecure kaiser, Lorenzo and Chris with a comforting fem (or gn) reader?

I read thru your request rules two times but if this ask is uncomfortable for you you can deny it ofc!!

Tysm for making our day with your fanfics, they are always extravagant <3

Aaa tysm <3 I only write gn!reader btw so yeah!! (only fem!reader if reader is a lesbian.) Also adding some characters hehe

Characters: Kaiser, Lorenzo, dad!Chris, Raichi, Tokimitsu, Zantetsu

Requests open! - masterlist

Tags: gn!reader, dad!Chris but the others can be seen as romantic or platonic (your choice), fluff, I didn't end up writing about the characters crying but comfort in general, mention and description of flashbacks in Lorenzo's part, not proofread

As high as Kaiser's ego is, even he has moments when he feels down. And luckily, you're always right there to comfort him. And it doesn't even take words to make him feel better. A simple hug is more than enough to lift Kaiser's mood when he's down. There's just something so special about your embrace. It's a specific comfort he's never experienced from anyone else before.

Lorenzo sometimes thinks too much about his past. He's mainly come to terms with the wrong things he's done, so nothing of that ever bothers him. But Lorenzo has experienced what it feels like to be on the verge of death, and sometimes he gets flashbacks of that from which he can't distract himself from. Only you manage to find ways to properly distract him and get his thoughts focused on other things, especially when you're close to him and hold his hand while you're talking. It makes him remember where he is right now, and not how his flashbacks make him feel.

Usually, Chris is the one comforting you. But every now and then, even your father has his moments of feeling down. He always tries to hide that from you because he doesn't want you to feel responsible for his well-being. But it's always easy to notice when your father is feeling down. Even if he thinks you don't notice it, you do. You try to not be obvious with how you're helping him so you always do subtle actions that you know will make him feel better like a hug or asking to play soccer together.

Raichi can get too rough with his words and often think he hurt your feelings. You're a very important person to him, so he always feels super guilty as soon as he thinks he's gone too far. He apologizes even when unnecessary and that's always when you notice how much guilt he's carrying around about this. Even though he sometimes really does hurt your feelings, most of the time he's just overthinking too much. And fortunately for Raichi, you always reassure him enough to make that guilt go away.

Tokimitsu gets anxious extremely easily. He's always afraid of doing something wrong but at the same time, he hates admitting that because he doesn't want to be a bother to you. But no matter what's dragging him down, you're always there to help him. Because he addresses what he struggles with so rarely, you've learned how to read Tokimitsu's body language very well. Most of the time there's no need for you to say anything, it's enough to hold his hand or give him a hug to let him know everything is okay.

Zantetsu is well aware of how stupid he is and he knows everyone thinks he's an idiot. Well, everyone except for you. You're always the first person he thinks of when he needs to be comforted. Zantetsu knows that no matter how stupid other people make him feel, you're always right there to provide him with comfort and reassurance. He may be dumb with words, but you always know just right what to say to make him feel better,

Taglist (sign-up link): @astruosie @kaineedstherapy12 @zyuuuu @yerinsshi @luvcalico @remy-roll @thedaisy78 @truegoist @rienniey @kalinkavx @vanitasbrainrot @rrueyuo @weichspuelertrinker @acacIa @kermitslefteyeball11 @futuristicxie @bluelock4life @yueyingwrld @yuehailin @keiidaydreams @takorirei @sagejin @https-archangel @ririgards @depressed-bitchy-demon @kaiserkisser @userwithlotsoftime @yellowelectroslime @nikokii @chaosinanutshell @quite-eerie @midnightymel @rzu @peachesncats @isagikisser @orah-s @gojosorrygeto @deerangle3 @mafuyudonutt

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fallen-child-escapism · 11 months

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Clone high headcanons??

My brain is mush lets go!

Abe:Hes super fucking tall, like 6'4 at LEAST. hes bi- Listens to weezer religiously, got topher into it.Thanks to the lovely POBart I am a mullet Abe truther, he grows his hair out and ppl either love it or hate it lmao also hes transmasc. I make the rules. He's trans.

Joan: Above average height, but not super tall. she's like 5'6 or 5'7. Is constantly redoing her roots. Idk I dont really like joan all that much so I don't have many ideas 4 her

Cleo:5'5Lesbian-she struggled with hard core comphet and Frida is the first girl she's been able to actually have a meaningful relationship with, without forcing herself.Struggles with alot of self worth issues. She grew up valuing her body over her mind and it really fucked her up. She is pretty smart though.Likes Doja Cat, Lizzo,and Meghan thee stallion

Jfk:6'1Hes pretty openly pan in 2023, would only fool around with guys in 2002. Has Addison desease like irl jfk. He gets called Jack by ppl hes close with.

Harriet:I have mixed feelings abt Harriet tbh, like I WANT to love her but she pissed me off in show a couple times. Unpopular opinion, I actually don't mind any of the new clones designs. She dyes her hair ALOT, loves bright colors. She feels pretty uncomfortable with having to live up to her clone mother. She loves art and acting and feels like she's letting people down because of it.Shes straight or maybe bi, she doesn't really know.

Frida: Short lady!! 5'1 Irl frida was bi but she doesn't really care for guys. she's a lesbian. Always has a sketch book with her:) Thinks cleo is just so cool and really respects all her interests. She even lets her do her makeup. Loves her tall gf

Confucius:Mommy issues fr. Hes like 6'2. Really loves all kinds of fashion. Has a raccoon tail in his hair. Blue+Black mullet cus he's silly. Chronically online. Tries to be an influencer but is kinda bad at it lolIs. besties with jfk

Topher:4'9 at MOST. hes so short Hes ALSO transmasc. and gay. Hes got a bit of internalized trans and homophobia. (sorry transfem topher lovers)Has a couple prominent white hairs. His hair is THICK and curly. He kinda hates it until his friends( mainly abe) make him feel more content with it. Hes a brony lol. Listens to weezer unironicly cus of Abe. He also loves hyperpop and Weird Al. Caitlyn actually adopted him, and really sees him as her son.

fucking HATES being called Chris or Christopher.also he has pretty bad hygiene other than leaning over the tub to wash his hair every other day.

#clone high #clone high season two #clone high season 2 #clone high abe #clone high confucius #clone high reboot #clone high joan #clone high jfk #clone high frida #clone high cleo #clone high harriet #topher bus #confucius #Joan of arc

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phoenix--flying · 5 months

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things my friendgroup has said while playing roblox games but its just titan army characters (canon +my hcs and a couple aus)

Chris: Not pump up the music box. What is is? Luke: Wind up??

Ellis: It's 5:07, we might not even need to wind up the music box. Cecil: Did you just say its almost seven???

Chris: Watch them all come into the room at 5:50. bonnie appearing at the end of the hall Al: CHRIS. CHRIS! Chris: OH GOD BONNIE-

Drew: Ethan is just SO homophobic he'd rather die then deal with lesbians. Ethan: Uh...yeah true

Luke: What if we did a reverse Five Nights at Freddys where the animatronics had to spend five nights at our house and then we literally like smash them in with a baseball bat.

Lee: Yall I have no idea what I'm doing. Silena: You can do it Lee! Lee: dies

Lou: I think that was Foxy leaving his home. Cecil: uh..nuh uh.

Lou: Oh. I don't like that sound. Ellis: No neither do I.. Cecil: Run.

Lee: Ventilation sys-... *phantom puppet standing directly behind him doing nothing* HI?? CAN I HELP YOU??

Silena: I've never seen him on the first night. Luke: I have. Lee: ....I feel like Lee is about to tell us me a horror story.

Ethan: Hes alive. Al: *walks into the room and stares at him.* Oh shit.

Silena: He's still in here? Don't tell me to come closer bitch.

Al: Please distract him. *jumpscare noise* ...by distract him I didn't mean throw yourself into his arms.

Chris: Luke your head just flew off of your head for a second."

Luke: I'm dead by the way so I am...no longer living. Lee: wow i wonder...

Silena: He's by Lees corpse 🤗 Lee: Thanks Leens😒

spooky noise Cecil: What was that?? *runs off*

Lee: If you do die I will to. I'll die with you.

Chris, Al and Ethan: *incoherent yelling and screaming about balloon boy* Luke: .....what??

Nyssa: Yea Foxys like eating your ass right now.

Luke: I hate Balloon Boy, I hate his stupid round eyes and his frickin balloon sign. Get outta here. Silena: His like free balloons take one I love you sign? Luke: Yea. Chris: Like I don't care. Go burn. Lee: How about we just burn the whole place to the ground.

Al: If I don't see him, he doesn't see me....he might see me. He might see me. Ethan: He sees you.

Cecil: What if it's really fun. Like what if we go to fun land after this. twenty minutes later Cecil: NO WE HAVE TO SLIDE INTO FUN??? Lou: NO KING WHY DID YOU SAY WE WERE GONNA GO TO FUNLAND??

Lee: Wait thats a seven? Silena: Its a two for me! Luke: ITS DIFFERENT NUMBERS!?

Ethan: Is this Sirenhead?? Chris: Do not even start. DON'T even tell me that.

Lee: So just hang left? Silena: Yup. Luke: Just always go left. Chris: Hehe. That's what I thought too. Silena: Oh..

Al: Chris I can't believe your profile picture isn't a cat. Chris: Al I can't believe you're GAY.

Mitchell: Why is your face purple?? Ethan: You're purple too?? Drew: WELL. YOU'RE FACE IS PURPLE TOO.

Chris: But I can see really well, I don't know what's wrong with you. Ethan: Cause you...cause you died. Al: Cause you fucking walked into Bonnie??

Chris: Oh my god I did it guys! All me. Silena: YOU DIDN'T!? You died like immediately. Luke: You died before the animatronics even started moving.

Cecil: Why would you say that? Chris: You trusted the person who walked into Bonnie on the first night? Cecil: I don't trust you, Luke: And he wasn't even off the stage yet. Cecil: I'm just gullible.

Lou: Oh my god this is so much better I can actually see them....actually nevermind it's not better. It's not better. I see too much.

Lee: Do you wanna play FNaF 4 :D Luke: NO??? (they played fnaf 4)

Drew: Oh come on lets get out! Car! OH IS THAT A KIA SOUL!? EUAGHGHHH

Cecil: I kinda wanna go down there. I really wanna go down there. I'm going. Ellis: Don't die. You're probably gonna die what am I saying?

Chris: Oh Foxy's in the garage?? Foxy's about to drive that car bro

Drew: Is Freddy in this game?? Yeah he is. Silena: Yeah Freddy's in the room. He's under the bed. Drew: Oh! He's under the bed! That makes me feel really safe! That's really- I don't like that. I wish you didn't tell me that.

Lee: I feel like I'm being chased in a horror movie or something. Silena: Me too. Lee: Except I'm surrounded by JOSH HUTCHERSON and I can't be serious about that.

Luke: I'm heading there. OH nevermind I just got hit by a military tank.

Al: Why am I coughing so much?? Chris: Because you're gay. Al: Yeah its a sickness.

#ta!lee has just been accepted as canon in my head btw so #and i have a few ta!drew aus #so 💅#chris rodriguez #alabaster torrington #luke castellan #silena beauregard #lee fletcher #cecil markowitz #ellis wakefield #lou ellen blackstone #nyssa barerra #mitchell pjo #drew tanaka #pjo #phoenix rambles #titan army

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smartycvnt · 5 months

Text

Lost and Found

Title: Lost and Found

Pairing: Chris Redfield x Reader

Summary: Y/n in reunited with Chris after he is supposedly lost at sea.

Word Count: 983

"We have an update on Agent Redfield." Y/n tried not to get too ahead of herself at the news. Chris had been missing for weeks now, and nobody had been able to come up with any sort of solution. They had even been rumored to have lost multiple agents in their rescue attempts. Y/n wanted Chris back, but she also knew that the last thing he would have wanted was for someone else to lose their life because of him.

Even just hearing about the deaths of other agents that Chris wasn't responsible for hit him hard. That was one of the reasons that Y/n loved Chris so much. He was so compassionate, even if he tried his best to hide it and look tough. Y/n had never bought it, however, and even if she had, she was smart enough to know that Chris's compassion made him a good leader.

Y/n replayed Chris's last message to her again and again on the way to headquarters. It had been frantic, something about terrorists and Jill. Y/n knew that Jill Valentine would always be a priority for Chris, occasionally over her. They had been together since Chris's STARS days back in Raccoon City. If it wasn't for Jill coming out and telling Y/n that she was a lesbian, Y/n would have been jealous of Jill and Chris's relationship.

"Ms. Y/l/n, right this way." Y/n was impressed by the sheer size of the BSAA's DC base. The headquarters was always bound to be the biggest base of any agency, but the BSAA still felt fairly new. Y/n was glad that they had moved along as quickly as they had, even if she didn't like the implication of things growing so exponentially.

There would always be threats to the world out there, but Y/n feared that they were nearing the point of no return. Biological warfare was another class of horrors from the things that Y/n had faced whenever she had enlisted. She had only ever really seen files from case reviews, but she couldn't imagine the mental scars that came from living through something like Raccoon City.

"Connors, thank god! What's going on here?" Y/n rushed over to the first familiar face that she saw in the building. It wasn't exactly a friendly one, but Y/n knew that people got nervous whenever they saw her snooping around their place of work. Her job entailed that someone had fucked up. She knew that Chris was friendly, but he was also a very private guy, so there was a good chance that nobody else really knew about their relationship.

"Didn't they tell you? I'm sure that it would have been detailed in the indicent report," Connors told her. Y/n clenched her jaw nervously.

"I'm not here on official business," Y/n told him. His face dropped for a moment, and Y/n thought the worst. Something had to have happened to Chris.

"They found Redfield, but we lost Valentine." Y/n knew that was just as bad as losing Chris. She dropped the conversation and began to sprint towards the room she'd been directed to earlier. Y/n's excitement about seeing Chris was combated by the knowledge that Valentine's body was probably occupying a cooler in one of the sub levels.

"Chris!" Y/n shouted as she burst through the doors. Chris looked like they had kept him there for a few days before alerting her, which she would be addressing at a later time. He seemed to perk up a little, but Y/n could tell that he wasn't going to be himself for a while.

"Y/n, I am so glad to see you. I love you so much." Chris hugged Y/n tightly. The slight pain from him hugging her too hard was ignored. She would have let him completely crush her bones to dust in that moment if that was what he needed. "J-Jill, I-I, she's gone."

"I know, and I am so sorry," Y/n apologized. Chris looked down at her with tears in his eyes. Y/n couldn't remember the last time that she had seen Chris cry in front of her. It had to be at the height of his nightmares, which Y/n was certain would flare up again. All she could do was hope that she could figure out some way to help and console him. Whatever he needed, Y/n would make herself available to do.

"I have to tell Claire. What am I going to tell her?" Chris asked hopelessly. "She'll never forgive me for not saving her."

"Claire will work past this, just like you will. It will all take time, and I'll be there for both of you for as long as you'll let me," Y/n promised. She chewed on the inside of her cheek for a moment, debating whether or not to continue before she did, "I am just so glad to have you back. I don't know what I would have done without you Chris. I love you so much."

"I love you too, Y/n," Chris said. He clung to her like he was afraid that she'd float away or something. Y/n was given another 5 minutes with Chris before someone came to take Chris's statement again. Y/n was forced out of the room then, and like clockwork, her phone rang with her boss's number flashing across the screen.

"Y/l/n," Y/n answered. She didn't want to have to investigate this incident, but it was part of the curse at being the best at what she did. The next time that she went into Chris's room, it wouldn't be as the girlfriend that he needed, but rather the investigator that everybody dreaded to see snooping around the base.

#my writing #one shot #resident evil x reader #resident evil #chris redfield x reader #chris redfield

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zalrb · 3 months

Text

OTH Rewatch Review 3x07

IIIIIII DON'T WANNA BE ANYTHING OTHER THAN WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYNA BE LATELYYYYYYYYY

Jesus Christ

So, like, here's the thing about this fucking Inception dream sequence. What is happening? Is Nathan dreaming about Haley making out with Brooke after waking up from a nightmare about Lucas and Chris in bed together after Lucas woke up from dreaming about being in bed with Brooke? Because it's a dream within within a dream. I don't know what your subconscious is like Nathan.

Nathan's grin. I mean, technically you've slept with both of them. AND HALEY'S SISTER.

"What is she doing talking to that troll?" "By troll do you mean Peyton?" Oh, Haley. How I love you sometimes.

Because Peyton fucking SUCKS.

"I'm over possessive-best-friends-with-weird-lesbian energy. And Haley!" That was actually a good delivery but if anyone has the lesbian energy here, it's Brooke and Rachel.

"Well, at least somebody wanted me." Oh, preteen Zal was SO frustrated with this ENTIRE storyline.

"HALEY, YOUR BOYFRIENDS ARE HERE." lol.

"You look so..." "Overdressed." Good delivery. But also Haley, my girl, the SUN is out, why are you wearing a little black dress?

I mean "little black dress" this is still OTH.

They really felt uncomfortable in the clothes they had to wear??

This is so dumb, she's clearly going out with Nathan and Haley too, Lucas.

YOU ALL HAVE CELL PHONES. CALL HER.

Ugh, Skills.

"I've been on kinky dates before..." with who? I guess s1 Nathan would've done something weird.

Remember how s1 Nathan was like a legit emotionally, verbally abusive villain?

"Let's spring [the senior in the nursing home]! It's just a couple of hours, what harm could it do?" If this was a dark comedy, he'd die.

Chris tipping a random woman on the beach and slapping her ass is just ... ugh. She should've slapped him. Alas, Mark Schwahn.

Haley having a quiet but profound breakdown. Brooke, "It's OK. Let's just go to the mall." And she is being helpful and it is very sweet but that's also hilarious. Uhhh, sorry that your wedding spot is being destroyed, let's just go to the mall instead. You know? Nothing profoundly sad happens at the mall.

"I can't believe she's doing this." IT WAS A GROUP DATE, LUCAS.

"This guy has caused a lot of trouble, Brooke knows that." Lucas, the people that he caused trouble between WERE WITH HER GETTING INTO THE CAR. YOU SAW THEM.

I swear to god Lucas, I would hit you. SHUT UP.

24. Braley are such better friends than Breyton.

25. I REALLY wish we got more Nathan and Brooke scenes because they had a really fun chemistry together and I liked that they were both being courted by Haley and Lucas and they could both understand where the other was coming from

26. Haley's laugh at Chris saying "Maybe he's afraid of me" is hilarious because she stops and continues. But Chris shutting her up with "Maybe he doesn't care anymore" was mean but well-played.

27. It's funny how Chris Keller is a better Damon than Damon. Because he's not a good actor but he doesn't overplay it.

28. Aww, jealous Nathan

29. James Lafferty's shoulders are quite broad this episode.

30. Nathan is vulnerable and you were practically giving the enemy a LAP DANCE. I mean she wasn't Brooke but the exaggeration is very Brooke and also very high school. I remember in high school we were at a school dance and this girl's boyfriend was getting jumped outside while she was dancing with another guy and all of us girls were like WHAT THE FUCK??? [INSERT NAME] IS GETTING JUMPED AND YOU WERE BASICALLY HAVING SEX ON THE DANCE FLOOR! What did we expect her to do? Get jumped with him?? Teenagers.

31. "I didn't do anything!" "Except for kiss Chris and run away with him?" I mean, she's got a point Haley. "What about you messing with Lucas and hiding all those letters you wrote to him under your bed?" I mean, she's got a point Brooke.

32. "I know this is where we made love in the rain." I mean, it wasn't ON the balcony though. It should've been.

33. "I still feel our past just like you do" well especially considering that you were the one who was left.

34. Rachel calling Lucas gay because he's CLEARLY into Brooke and is like please stop getting naked around me because I LOVE BROOKE is hilarious because what?

35. Chris also getting Brooke more and more drunk so they can have sex is incredibly gross.

36. "All of the celebrity..." she had ONE original song and was doing covers and opening for actual celebrities? WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT HERE?

37. We could also talk about the fact that Nathan was the one who encouraged her to sing in front of people etc. etc. and she wouldn't have been a "star" without him in her life at all.

38. Mouth's reveal that Mel is his grandfather is ... OK? I know this is supposed to push Peyton to Ellie but meh.

39. "SHE NOTEBOOKED YOU?" "I totally Notebooked him" lmao these references.

40. Nathan keeping a flower from the beach is Lucas keeping a feather from Brooke's wings.

41. *SIGH* Brooke and Chris. What, it takes like two more episodes for them to be together?

42. I also absolutely do not believe that Brooke wouldn't have kicked Chris out of the house right after sleeping with him. She'd be disgusted.

#rewatch

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ailelie · 1 month

Text

The Diazes Know the Future (This Isn't It)

This is complete and utter crack. Please do not take it seriously.

I've also thrown it on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55094557

On the night after each of his children are born, Ramon dreams of their future spouse just as he'd once dreamed of his own future wife.

And Eddie, his beautiful boy, is going to marry a man with a bright smile and a bruise over one eye.

Ramon is not okay with that at first, but, by the time his son is old enough to walk and interrogate the world, he has accepted what will be. But he also knows the world will not be kind to his son who will love a man and so he does everything he can to ensure his son is strong, manly, and good.

Growing up Eddie shows no signs of his inclination, but this does not worry Ramon or Helena. They have prepared. They have a variety of cross-stitched flags hidden away for whatever identity Eddie eventually comes to them with--gay, bi, queer, or even demisexual.

So. Shannon is a surprise.

After Eddie meets Shannon, every hope and wish Ramon and Helena had for their son seems to diminish. They try to like Eddie's wife, but when Ramon looks at her, all he can see is a barrier between his son and happiness.

When they learn Chris, amazing Chris has CP, Helena whispers in bed one night if Ramon thought it was a sign. She immediately apologizes for the thought and never says anything to anyone else, but sometimes when their eyes meet during Eddie's long absence, he knows what she is thinking.

Then Eddie returns and Shannon leaves and Eddie decides to relocate his entire life with barely a plan and it seemed like everything was falling to pieces.

They just want him to be happy.

But then their son reaches out again. He is smiling again. After each call, Helena frets, wondering if she should apologize, but fearing re-opening the wound if she speaks up again.

Then they meet Buck. On Zoom first and Ramon loses his words for a second finally seeing the man he dreamed of nearly three decades prior. Helena keeps poking his arm in excitement while trying to sound normal. God only knows what Buck thinks.

And then Eddie says he'll be visiting due to work. Buck will be coming along, too. Helena gets out her old cross-stitch flags and fans them across the dining room table. "Which one, do you think? Should we frame it somewhere he can see?"

But. Eddie brings no announcements. He and Buck are friends. Not even dating. Ramon and Helena both keep looking for signs, but find none. When Eddie notices the framed pride flag on the mantle, he only says he hadn't realized his mom had gotten back into cross-stitching. He doesn't even notice it is a pride flag.

After he leaves, Ramon sinks down on the couch next to Helena and asks, "Where did we go wrong?"

When Eddie says he's dating again, they get their hopes up, only to be disappointed once more.

"Ana?" Ramon spits with disgust. "Why are all these women wrecking my boy's future?"

"He said Christopher needs a mother. Why does he think Christopher needs a mother? Did we teach him that?"

They look at each other in horror. Had they done this somehow?

"We will fix it," Ramon promises.

They start by letting Eddie know they love him and are proud of him. No matter what. Ramon makes a point of mentioning one of his friends has a lesbian daughter and how happy they all were she was getting married soon. Helena asks after Buck. Ramon asks after Buck.

They both wonder if Eddie even notices their fascination with Buck, or if he's just happy for the chance to wax poetic on his 'best friend' and spit spite toward Buck's girlfriends: Abby, Ali, Taylor, Natalia.

"He sounds very important to you," Helena says, faintly, after a particularly long tangent on Buck.

"Of course he is," Eddie responds, not even seeming to realize what he's saying. Then he tells them about his will.

They can tell he's braced for anger, but this? This finally makes sense.

"Sounds like a good decision," Ramon says.

"We know you've always done your best for Chris," Helena adds, hoping again that her words lessen the sting of the ones she said years before in frustrated anger.

"Thanks," Eddie says, but he looks confused. "Is everything all right?"

"Of course," they tell him.

When Pepa calls crowing about setting Eddie up with Marisol, Ramon wants to break something.

"I'm sure he doesn't need your help," he tells his sister. He refuses to out his son before he is ready, at least not to anyone other than Helena, but she's his mother and Ramon's wife; she's the exception.

Then finally they get a call.

"What's wrong, mijo?" Ramon asks after Eddie's attempts at conversation start and wither for a full ten minutes.

"Nothing. I don't know why I called."

"Is everything all right with Marisol?"

"Oh, fine. Or, not fine. We just broke up."

"Good," Ramon says before he can stop himself. Then, into Eddie's stunned silence he adds, "She was not right for you."

Eddie barks a short, humorless laugh at that. "Is anyone?" Then, while Ramon is trying to formulate a response that is more than just soothing words, Eddie blurts out, "Buck's bi."

Ramon pumps his fist, glad they're on the phone and not Zoom. Helena sees him and rushes over. "Is that Eddie?" she asks. "Did he--?"

He places his fingers over her lips to quiet her and shakes his head. 'Buck,' he mouths.

Her mouth drops into an oh.

"I'm putting you on speaker. Your mother is here."

He taps the speaker button and places the phone on the table. Helena leans over. "Congratulations to your friend, honey. Do you think he'd like a pride flag? I've got several."

Ramon can see they're abandoning all pretense at subtlety.

"Why would you have pride flags?" Eddie asks, bewildered.

"Just in case," Helena chirps.

"Right." Their son is skeptical. "So if Adriana or Sophia or I--"

"Yes," Ramon cuts in.

"Always," Helena adds.

"That's why we wanted you strong," Ramon adds. "People are not kind."

"I have no idea--thank you?"

"We love you," Helena says. "No matter what."

"No matter who you love, whatever their gender," Ramon continues. "You are ours. Always."

"I--oh, shit, I need to go. Love you!"

"You too."

They do not know how their words send Eddie's mind spinning. They do not see the automatic way he enters the 118 and slowly walks upstairs. Or how, instead of saying 'hello,' he says in an almost dreamlike voice, "I think my parents just gave me the coming out speech?" Because he's practiced that speech before, too, when Chris was younger. He wanted to be ready so he didn't freeze in the moment just in case.

They do not see the double takes his co-workers give him or the presses for information. They do not see how their son's cheeks slowly warm as he processes the phone call more fully. "They told me they loved me whoever I loved. Even if that person is a man."

Nor do they hear Hen ask in a too careful and confused voice, "Did you tell your parents you were queer?"

And their Eddie will laugh and shake his head, because he hadn't. But then, when Buck bounds upstairs with a too-happy smile, a stone will sink in his gut and he will bury his face into hands right then and there because he had. He just hadn't realized.

Ramon and Helena will know none of this until 36 hours later when their boy calls them once more and asks without preamble, "How did you know? I didn't even-- I don't--"

And Ramon hands the phone, still on speaker, to Helena who finally gets to use her years of research and she asks him, "Have you heard of demisexuality? There are many ways to explain, but my favorite is that you have to want someone with your heart before you can want them with your body. You have to share a heart first. Honey, from the first time you mentioned Buck to us, we could tell how much your heart reached for his. And these days, when you talk about him, his love of knowledge, his way with Chris, we see how much of your heart you've already shared."

"I love him, don't I?"

"We're happy for you," Ramon says, but he hates how lost Eddie sounds. Love should make people feel sure and steadfast, not at sea.

That's when Eddie tells them about Tommy.

"Why is Eddie's path so hard?" Helena asks him after they've hung up.

Ramon shakes his head, also wishing he knew.

Eddie calls more often after that. He hasn't told anyone else yet. He says he doesn't know how to tell anyone without it being a confession and he can't confess. He refuses to wreck Buck's happiness.

Their stupid self-sacrificial son.

"You could be his happiness," Ramon argues.

Eddie doesn't listen.

Helena sends two of her flags: a bisexual one for Buck and a demisexual one for Eddie.

She does not know how long Eddie stares at the white, purple, gray, and black flag after he opens the package. How he runs his fingers over the stitches like they burn him until he finally picks it up, clutches it to his chest, and cries because here is actual physical proof of everything his parents have been saying and promising. He hasn't disappointed them. He is loved.

She does not know it takes him two weeks to take the cross-stitched flag with him to work and hang it in his locker. Instead of coming out, he simply re-adjusts. He is demisexual and in love with his best friend. The world keeps turning. Some people notice the flag and he just confirms their questions with a smile and quick word. He doesn't want to talk about it. He just wants to let it be.

Helena and Ramon start calling Buck "your Buck" in phone calls to Eddie. He protests at first, but Ramon says he should have faith.

They're discussing another visit to El Paso when everything changes again. Eddie has them on speaker so he can talk while he cooks.

"Your abuela says you need to bring your Buck home with you this time. She wants to test how well he remembers her pozole recipe," Ramon says.

Helena laughs. "I still cannot believe you never questioned that. Even I had to earn that recipe and your Buck gets it on, what, his second meeting with her?"

"Fifth." The correction does not come from Eddie.

"Buck." That does.

"We will talk later," Helena says. "Love you."

And they hang up even though neither of them wishes to. But if this is the moment that their son finally gets happiness, they aren't going to risk ruining it.

The next hour is nothing but nervous energy. Helena frogs a nearly-finished glove just to keep her hands busy. Ramon cleans.

Their phone chimes with a text. It is from Eddie. And it reads:

'My Buck. Thank you.'

Helena slumps into Ramon and he wraps his arm around her.

Finally.

#fic i want to read #buddie #not!fic #supportive diaz parents #fic

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fucksurass · 4 months

Text

DEAD? Park!

Pt.3

Stan: Kenny...? You um-

Stan: Yesterday you were all... Weird? Now youre um.... Not..

Kyle: What hes trying to say is, What the hell happened after school yesterday because you actually look... Okay.

Stan: Yeah you dont look like a mess like after Pocket got here. You left insane and came back chillin. What happened?

Kenny: You mean apart from fucking Cartmans mom?

Cartman: WHAT KENNY- YOU- I HOPE YOU FALL ON YOUR POOR UGLY ASS-

Kenny: Im kidding! I read porn and imagined fucking her!

Cartman: THAT DOESNT MAKE IT ANY BETTER YOU DIRTY-

Kenny: And I said to myself, Im going crazy! No one died! Im just a little messed up right now because of stress! So I whipped out my weiner and started jacking it.

Cartman: Dear god, can Kenny please fall off his chair and bust his ass.

Kyle: Awe Kenny come on!!

Stan: Not what I wanted to hear today.

Kenny: What? At least im not acting crazy anymore. Id say this is normal.

Stan: ....

Cartman: ....

Kyle: ....

Kyle Cartman and Stan: Yeah hes got a point. Id believe it. Regular Kenny.

Kenny: Oh and those books arent gonna help you at all Stany boi. I suggest giving it up.

Stan: Come on dude... Let a man dream...

Kenny: Wendys probably a lesbian dude.

Kyle: Yeah she probably totally definitely is.

Stan: What...?

Kyle: Yeah... You should go for someone el-

Cartman: Faggot.

Kyle: Shut the fuck up Cartman!

Stan: Yeah! Wendys not a faggot! Im sure she'll come back. She always does...

Cartman: That went over your whole head, Stan.

Stan: What went over my head?

Kyle and Cartman: *face palm*

Mr. Garrison: Okay class.... Sadly and Unfortunately for me... Theres another.. New student-

Kenny: WAH thud! OW!!

Cartman: BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA THANK YOU GOD

Ze Mole: Fuck god!

Kenny: Stop laug- ....Mole..?

Garrison: You know him?

Stan: All four of us do! Hey man!

Garrison: Thats cool. Anyway say hello to Christofeet- Chris- Christophne something or other or- Just call him Ze Mole.

Ze Mole: I have returned on behalf of Gregory. I wanted to ask if La Resistance lived on after I- er left... For.. War?

Pip: Hello Mole!

Ze Mole: Ah... You are here..

Cartman: Yeah we all hate Pip too dont worry.

Ze Mole: Sure.

Stan: Kenny? Oh not again... I swear..

Kyle: What- Oh...

Mr. Garrison: Can we please sit down? Im still teaching. Who else in here is gay?

Cartman: STAN AND KAH- OW KAHL WHAT THE FUCK

Ze Mole: ...Why are you looking at me like zat Kenny? Stop.

Pip: In a matter of seconds, dear Mole, Kenny well have assumed your death.

Ze Mole: How-

Kenny: Okay I am seriously fucking positive we WATCHED that guy die!

Stan: Come on Kenny! You were doing great!

Kyle: You almost had it then you blew it!

Kenny: We watched it happen guys! Cartman didnt turn off the alarm and he got attacked by guard dogs-

Ze Mole: I hate guard dogs... What a terrible way to die! Do not wish zat on me!!

*CLANG*

Cartman: Haha! Sick!

Stan: Oh my god! Ze Mole killed Kenny!

Kyle: You french bastard!

Mr. Garrison: Please be careful with that thi-

Ze Mole: Was my mozer careful when she shot me in my leg while I vas still in ze womb?!

Mr. Garrison: ...I guess not.

Craig: Dude sit down! You killed Kenny!

Red: Whos Kenny-

Ze Mole: Do not worry.

Ze Mole: Though he dies, La Resistance lives on.

Cartman: Nobody gives a crap about Las resilience! Lets all just wait for the rats to consume Kennys body so we can continue naming all the fags in the classroom.

Mr. Garrison: Lets all listen to the fat kid.

Clyde: Guys im not a faggot...

Pt. 2

Pt. 4

#south park #artists on tumblr #digital art #art #DEAD? Park!#ze mole #sp pip #pocket south park #south park stan #sp kyle #south park cartman #kenny sp #red south park #craig south park #gregory sp #mr. garrison #au #south park au

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maochira · 1 year

Note

i cant stop thinking about lavinho and chris reacting to the reader coming out as a lesbian

Writing this for Noa and Snuffy as well because I can't just do half of the dads😔 also funfact I never had a coming out I just had girlfriends and that's how my parents found out FHKHDSAKJSHDAS

Requests open! - masterlist

Tags: lesbian!reader, actually writing the coaches as dads and not as father figures

"Dad, can we talk?" Noa immediately stops whatever he's doing and turns around to look at you. "What's wrong?" He asks when he sees how nervous you are. "There's uh... Something I need to tell you." - "Did something happen?" You can hear the worry in your father's voice. "No it's not that, it's just...-" Noa puts a hand on your shoulder and gives you a reassuring smile. "Take your time." You nod and take a deep breath before saying "Dad, I'm a lesbian." Noa lets out a sigh of relief. There were so many thoughts running through his head, so he's relieved it's something simple like this. "Were you afraid I wouldn't accept you?" He asks and pulls you into a hug. "You know I'll always love you, right?"

You and Chris rarely talk about anything serious and keeps things lighthearted, so when you ask him to sit down in the living room so you can tell him something, his thoughts go in a completely different direction. "Did you get in trouble? What did you mess up?" He asks teasingly immediately after you sit down next to him. "What? No, I-" - "You want more money?" - "Dad can you be serious for a moment?" You ask a little frustrated. This makes Chris notice how serious whatever you want to talk about must be, so he only nods and waits for you to go on. "I think... I think I like girls. Only girls." You finally tell him. Even though he wanted to stay serious, Chris can't help but laugh a bit. "You like girls? Me too!!" He puts an arm around your shoulder and pulls you closer to himself. "I guess that makes you my little lesbean?"

Coming out to Lavinho wouldn't actually be necessary. You could just introduce a girlfriend to him and he'd act the same as if you introduced a boyfriend to him. You planned to do it like this, but that requires getting a girlfriend first, and the pressure to tell your dad just gets stronger. One day, you and Lavinho are just talking in the car and the topic switches to relationships, so he starts "One day when you'll have a boyfriend-" and you interrupt him to correct it to "Girlfriend." Lavinho immediately repeats his sentence "One day, when you'll have a girlfriend-" but then he realizes you just came out to him and looks at you for a moment, "Wait, you're gay?" - "Yeah." - "Hi gay I'm dad."

Snuffy always knew there was something different about you, but he couldn't figure out what. He often noticed your lack of interest in boys and that you kept saying "Boys are stupid" whenever someone asked when you'll have your first boyfriend. He didn't want to make any big assumptions only based on this. Instead, he wanted to wait until you would approach him about it. During a family reunion, one of your uncles said "You're such a pretty girl, it's only a matter of time until the boys get interested in you." And it kept being stuck in your head, so once you and your father got home, you decided it was time to tell him. "Dad? Remember what one of my uncles said about boys?" - "What about it?" Snuffy immediately pays his full attention to you. "I still think boys are stupid." Your comment makes Snuffy laugh and he asks: "And what about girls?" The question makes you laugh a bit before you respond. "I think this is a good moment to tell you I'm a lesbian." Even though he fully expected this now, Snuffy still gets a bit emotional. "Then I think it's a good moment to tell you this won't change anything about the way I love you."

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