#his list of his own negative qualities and the way he describes himself as a coward also seems very much like an ex-jedi's self reproach

[shinidamachu]

Okay so we all know by now why Inuyasha fell for Kagome — it’s fairly obvious, because she’s amazing, who wouldn’t? But why do you think Kagome fell in love with Inuyasha? At the beginning of their journey she couldn’t stand his rash and abrasive attitude and was always saying how a guy the complete opposite of him would be her type, so what made her grow from just viewing him as a friend who she would need to teach to bring out of his shell, into a viable romantic interest?

I’m sure we can all pinpoint the time when Kagome really started developing feelings was her seeing Inuyasha’s human night for the first time and when he was laying in her lap and saying how good she smelled, being honest with his true feelings for once. What was it about that moment that caused Kagome to start to see Inu in a new light? Was she attracted to his vulnerability? When she saw that combined with his always protecting her was that enough to stir her heart? What’s your take on what it was about Inuyasha that made made Kagome fall in love?

So I think it’s obvious by now why Inuyasha fell for Kagome, but what exactly was it about Inuyasha that made Kagome fall for him? How did she go from dislike to tolerance to seeing him as a friend she could teach and learn to open up to the world into a viable romantic interest? She says it herself early on, Inuyasha was the exact opposite of her type, so what exactly was it about him that attracted her to him that he couldn’t already give her at the friend level?

I'm guessing you asked @born-for-eachother this very same question a while ago? And her answer was as insightful as ever, so I'm not sure what else can I say to expand on her already brilliant take, but I'll give it my best try.

This is Kagome's reply when her friends asked what her type is. Mind you, she's only fifteen. Kagome might think that she knows what she wants, but she most definitely doesn't know yet what she needs. And that's an important distinction.

Also, please notice that Kagome's lying to herself, because there's only one person in the series that fit her criteria perfectly: Hojo. Even still, she had no romantic interest in him whatsoever despite the statement above.

And the scene's whole point wasn't to stabilish the kind of guy Kagome would fall for, but to show us that, when asked about what her type was, Inuyasha crosses her mind, even if it was in a "negative" light.

If it was the case, it would have made way more sense for her to simply describe a type and define Hojo as the yardstick against which all potential boyfriends would be measured, but instead she made the entire thing about Inuyasha, subconsciously drawing a correlation between him and romantic interest.

And of course, Inuyasha actually does have at least half of the qualities Kagome was listing. She just didn't have the opportunity to realize that at the time, since their first impression of each other was disastrous and Inuyasha was keeping his guard up. She didn't know the real him yet.

That's why she couldn’t stand his rash and abrasive attitude at the beginning of their journey. Kagome thought he was being a jerk for the sake of being a jerk and, for his part, Inuyasha was constantly proving her misconceptions right.

It takes a little time for her to figure him out, which is to be expected because, at first, he made his life's mission to push Kagome away and she have never met someone like him before, but eventually, she manages to see right through him.

His selfishness was a facade. He had to think of himself first because he learned that if he didn't, no one else would. However, he did care for others, no matter how good he was at pretending otherwise. And he might complain about it the whole time, but he always does the right thing in the end.

Especially when it comes to Kagome. There were many occasions in which he resigned himself with letting her go, be it because he feared for her own safety, be it because he knew it wasn't fair of him to ask her to stay even though the thing he wanted the most was to have her by his side. When push comes to shove, he prioritizes Kagome's well being over his own feelings every time. This is the opposite of selfish.

Inuyasha isn't malicious, he's just a impulsive boy who had little to none social interactions growing up. He doesn't really mean a lot of what comes out of his mouth, or at least he doesn't always mean it in a rude way. When he does mean it, it's often a defense mechanism to keep people away, a form of hurt them before they could hurt him. It's only natural for Inuyasha to act the way he does at first. And it was even more natural for Kagome to pick up on that eventually:

He is kind. You can tell by how he puts his life on the line even for those who judge him a monster. He has been wronged in so many ways, by so many people and he still forgave and forgot most of it, showing them the compassion he was denied of. You can also see it in the detais: the way he treats children — slapstick comedy aside —women or any person who can't stand up for themselves, how he provides for and takes care of his friends, the relationship he had with his mother, the gentle way in which he touches Kagome, gives her his robe when she's cold and nurses her back to health when she's sick. I could go on and on.

Granted, he is violent. But for the longest time, violence was all he knew. And it was this very violence that more often than not kept Kagome and their friends alive. He is short tempered. But then again so is she. And he might be the farthest thing from obedient, but I highly doubt Kagome would have fallen so hard and so deep for him if he wasn't.

Futhermore, I think you nailed it on the head when you said Kagome started developing real feelings for Inuyasha after their first New Moon together.

This is when she finally starts to truly understand him. For once, there was no walls up, no bullshit, no covering their connection with hostility. Only vulnerability, brutal honesty and the shy beginning of one of the most important themes in their relationship: trust. Here, Kagome realizes that there is more to him than meets the eyes, that there's an opening for her to come in. Which she does. And the more she gets to know him, the more she notices that he can be selfless, good and kind.

I'd also like to point out that Kagome had already showed signs of physical attraction to Inuyasha way before that.

Obviously, you can admire your friend's appearance in a non romantic way, but her reaction to his looks at the time and the reminiscing of how heroic he looked back then cannot be interpreted as platonic.

But more than that, the thing that really attracted her to Inuyasha, what he couldn’t already give her in a friendship level, was plain and simple the way he made her feel.

Although it was mostly Inuyasha starting the romantic moves, Kagome has always responded to them. His actions awakened in her sentiments she had never had to deal with before. It's new. It's exciting. It's terrifying. It makes her feel alive. And no one else has ever done it for her. Not even close.

Inuyasha turned her world upside down. Being the beautiful, smart and popular girl that she was, love was something that has always came easily to Kagome. She was pretty used to people liking her gratuitously. Her relationship with family and friends was simple enough, but with Inuyasha, she had to work for it, to build it with him from scratch. It was trial and error. It required patience, acceptance, trust, effort and sacrifice from both parts.

Most importantly: Inuyasha challenged her, turned her life into an adventure. He toughed her up, encouraged her to improve and become the very best version of herself, added a gray area to the black and white perspective she had on things, brought her out of her comfort zone. And she enjoyed rising up to the occasion. I think that anything different would bore her very quickly.

Then there's the easiness in which they fit into each other's world: her little brother worships the ground Inuyasha walks on, her grandpa appreciates Inuyasha's help at the shrine, her mother is treated by Inuyasha with nothing but ultimate kindness and respext. Even her friends approve of him. This brings forth the unshakeable feeling that they have always been together, that their meeting was no coincidence.

Plus, Inuyasha actually cares about her. Not her beauty, not her popularity, not her powers: her. Kagome turned the head of many guys during the series, but none of them know her down to the core like Inuyasha does. Her fears and insecurities, her friends and family, her quirks and believes, likes and dislikes, qualities and flaws: Inuyasha knows them all. He sees her beyond of what she looks like. He loves her for who she is rather than an idealized version of herself that does not exist.

It doesn't matter to him if she's wearing her best clothes or covered in demon goo. He had seen her crying, sweating, bloodied, dirty, sick, in extreme need of a bath and his opinion of her never lowered. If anything, I'd say Inuyasha wanted to be with her even more. Kagome didn't have to try too hard, didn't have to be anyone else for him to like her. All he ever expected of her was her company. And that's gotta be refreshing.

At last, I personally believe that wanting what you "can't" have also plays an important factor here. Inuyasha came straight out of a fairy tale, only to get her happily ever after, Kagome had to overcome lunatic villains, Inuyasha's traumas, her own insecurities, the fact that they belonged to different eras, miscommunications, heartbreaks, the stigma that a relationship between a priestess and a half demon carries, three years of separation and lastly time-space itself. Every obstacle only seemed to make her want him more.

Kagome's life could have been a lot easier if she had decided to let it go. She could have pursued an uncomplicated relationship with one of the male characters practically throwing themselfes at her feet — one of which, in theory, checks all of her boxes —, but she didn't. Which makes sense because, to quote Taylor Swift: nothing safe it's worth the drive.

And it all comes full circle, because her desires and necessities have finally aligned. Inuyasha might not have been what she wanted for herself at first, but he has always been exactly what she needed. And after she realized that, I can't imagine Kagome ever wanting anything — or anyone — else.

#Okay so I got the first ask a while ago #Then I got the second ask a few weeks later #I'm assuming it was sent by the same person because otherwise it's just too crazy of a coincidence #Judging by the way both asks were written #I'll bet anon just thought Tumblr didn't send me the question or got a little impatient with my delay #If it isn't the same person... Well at least the subject is the same so there's no harm in answering them in one go #Whatever the case here's your answer I hope I had made worth your while and thank you for asking #Inuyasha #Kagome #Inukag #Sidmailing #Kagome Higurashi #Inuyasha meta #Inukag meta #Kagome meta #Kagome Higurashi meta

[loading-excuses]

Marie’s top media and writing tropes that need to die in a ditch

Fridging 

The trope of killing off, hurting or “damaging” the female (usually the love interest) character in anyway solely to progress the main male character’s story arc. Used only as a plot device it is made to depose the female character only so to “trigger” the protective qualities in the male character. 

This term was coined in 1999 as “Women in Refrigerators” by comic book artist Gail Simone, the origins of the phrase are from Green Lantern #54 where the current Green Lantern Kyle Rayner comes home to find his then girlfriend Alexandra DeWitt had been murdered by the Major force and stuffed in a refrigerator. Simone and a group of feminist comic book artists compiled a list of fictional female characters who had been “killed, maimed or depowered” in peculiar ways to move forward the male character’s story arc rather than further develop them as their own characters. Simone also stated to make a point that: "If you demolish most of the characters girls like, then girls won't read comics. That's it!"

Pick Me Girls/Boys / Not Like The Other Girls

The “I’m not like other girls” type of girl who “doesn’t dress preppy” or follow any of the stereotypical high feminine trends which in turn means the male character needs to “pick her” since she’s “quirky and not like other girls”. This is describing a female who craves male attention and does it by making herself “stick out” from the “normal” feminine trends. This trait testers on the edge of internalized mysogony in acting as if one gender is superior to another. In this particular case, the pick me girl acts as if being a man or acting masculine is superior to being a woman or acting/presenting feminine or as they will put it “girly”. 

Alternatively there is another type of pick me girl who acts as if she is frail and dainty and weak and needs a big strong man to help her. Her only discernible personality trait is being cute and small and needing a boy to confirm these traits to give her male validation. 

This is actually a quite toxic trend that pits people people against each other due to the attention seeking nature of th pick me girl who is always in need of male validation by going about things in the wrong way.  

The trend came to rise in popularity in around 2019 has people in real life began to adapt their personality more to this concept due to media such as movies, television, books and video games displaying this type of female character. 

The concept of a pick me girl is no where near new to hit media tropes, as seen in Not Another Teen Movie (2001) in which using satire, the movie mocks this type of trope in saying that the female character is “so unlike other girls” that no boy could possible want to pursue her romantically simply because she “isn’t girly”.

There of course is a male counter part of the us trope being the pick me boy which is just as toxic. The pick me boy uses self deprecation as a form of emotional manipulation, trying to encourage the female he is pursuing to counteract negative statements he makes about himself. 

Sexy Lamp

The strong on paper female character that lacks any discernible personality traits of distinguishing qualities. Her existence is completely irrelevant tot he story or plot as a whole. This is another case in media where a female character is objectified for no reason. Most commonly this trope is thrown in to change the feel and combat the stereotype of female characters being dainty or high feminine but could be seen as just as objectifying.  

There is also a Sexy Lamp test which tests the relevancy of a female character in a piece of media. The sexy lamp test was established by Kelly Sue DeConnick and came to rise when DeConnick brought it up during an Emerald City Comic Con panel titled "From Victim to Hero".  

Manic Pixie Dream Girl 

The whimsical quickly eccentric female character that appears out of the blue to show the male character “a whole new world” and “opens his eyes to everything”. She enters his life solely to “change is worse view” before disappearing at the end without a trace. 

This term was coined by film critic Nathan Rabin from Kristen Dunst’s character in Elizabethtown (2005) in which he stated that the manic pixie pixie dream girl “exists solely in the fevered imaginations of sensitive writer-directors to each broodingly soulful young men to embrace life and it’s infinite mysteries and adventures.” 

While it is not as common as the manic pixie dream girl, there is also the male counterpart being the manic pixie dream boy in which the trope is exactly the same but the genders are swapped. 

Other examples of the manic pixie dream girl phenomenon are Grace Van DerWall as Stargirl in Stargirl, Mary Elizabeth Winsted as Ramona Flowers in Scott Pilgram versus the World and Cara Delevingne as Margo Roth Spiegelman in Paper Towns

Magical Negro

The back character who seems to exist only to provide spiritual or mystical help to the white savior protagonist. The character has no discernible inner life usually existing only to to provide life lessons to the protagonist. This is a harmful media trope that chalks black characters up to being nothing more than some kind of guide to the main usually white protag that appears only when the protag needs a quick lesson on the things happening in the world around them. 

With the rise in more and more people of color in the media this trope has become less relevant and common but is still just as harmful. 

It's a racial stereotype that I feel like gets overlooked because people will argue things like "well they're a powerful character how is making them powerful racist?". Continuing to use this trope is continuing to put marginalized people in tiny boxes to fit a story narrative and to seem like the story is diverse because not all the characters are white.

White Savior Protagonist 

The overused main character protagonist in which the main character is usually a cisgender straight white male with a savior complex dead set on “saving” everyone. Not only is this degrading for other groups of people but it is demeaning because the protag’s savior complex makes them feel the need to do good not because the people around them need it but because it makes the protag feel better about them self. 

Not every person in the world is a cishet white guy hellbent on saving the world because he has no other choice. By using only the same person as a protag over and over and over again, you're writing to the same demographic over and over and over again. As a woman of color, I'm honestly kind of sick of seeing the same actors playing roles that all feel the same in every movie or show I watch. Diversity not only gets different demographics of people invested in a story but it makes them feel like they're being seen. Like they can final put themselves in the main character's shoes and feel like the hero.

Bury Your Gays 

The media trope that portrays the death of LGBTQ+ characters due to them being deemed more expendable then the heterosexual characters. Often times rather than writing the character out of the show or allowing them to continue on in the story, the LGBTQ character is killed off. The portrayal of this trope makes it appear that queer characters are more likely to die over heterosexual characters. Many people have speculated that this is meant to show that queer characters have less of a purpose than their straight counterparts. It’s unfortunate to see writers continuously choosing to kill of queer characters, especially since the spark of queer fans speaking out on wanting to see more characters like them on the big screen or in books. It’s eerily similar to people of color speaking out on never seeing characters that look like them or characters that are only ever portrayed by harmful stereotypes. In recent years the trope has slowly became less popular but still is very much alive unlike the characters. 

One of the best examples out there is death of the beloved character Castiel from CW’s fifteen season live action series Supernatural. Castiel was introduced in season four of the show and fans immediately recognized how chemistry with the male lead Dean Winchester. For the next ten seasons of the show fans called out the queer-baiting of The CW’s portrayal of the characters until in one of the final episodes of the shows fifteen year long run in which Castiel declares his love for Dean which results in him being sent to “super hell”. Another example of this trope that sparked much backlash is show Lexa from the post apocalyptic science fiction drama The 100 (which also originally aired on The CW) in which the character Lexa is fatally shot in the same episode in which she and the female lead Clarke Griffin are shown spending the night together for the first time. The very act of killing Lexa in such a way sparked fans of the show to donate to LGBTQ charities all in Lexa’s name.

It is no secret that The CW is no stranger to Bury Your Gays. 

Interestingly enough, when actor Ruby Rose was forced to leave behind the lead role of Katherine “Kate” Kane in The CW’s Batwoman, show runner Caroline Drier decided to write the character out of the show leaving the potential death ambiguous due to the Bury Your Gays trope on account on her own sexuality. According to Dries the character is not dead and "As a lesbian who's been working as a writer for the past 15 years, I’m well aware of the 'Bury Your Gays' trope and I have no interest in participating in it,"

That being said, Rose was apparently forced off the show by the show runner as well as, executive producers Greg Berlanti and Sarah Schechter, and The CW itself. Rose added onto this that they were unable to continue going on due to injuries and other medical complications from stunt work working on the show. 

TDLR; These are my takes on media and writing tropes that I see way too frequently and I find harmful as they continue to be present in media and writing today influencing people who don't know any better.

#writing topes i hate #hot takes #this is just my take so take it with a grain of salt #manic pixie dream girl #things i hate #bury your gays #the 100 #lexa #fridging #batwoman #the cw #green lantern

[quarthly]

Twilight characters as random animals that I think are oddly fitting

(Also yes, I am roasting the animals as well)

Edward: He would be a Cheetah. Now I know, seems like a cop out just because of his speed but hear me out. Cheetahs are, at face value, pretty cool. They used to be my favorite animal as a child, but then I grew up.

Cheetahs, through no fault of their own, are severely inbred. Now thats mainly because of poaching, but the cheetas anxiety also comes into play. In captivity, cheetahs are usually given emotional support dogs. I will admit it is cute but it negatively affects the population. Excluding one in the wild, cheetas can be to anxious to breed and thats not good for conservation efforts.

Cheetahs can hit up to 80 miles per hour in a couple of seconds. They are designed for fast running and agility. Their claws are similar to that of a dogs for better traction and they have elongated spines for longer strides. They have a thin build, long legs and a long tail for balance.

This has downsides though. Many times after making a kill, it will get stolen for them by larger predators. Thats right, they get absolutely bodied by the other animals. I should probably make these shorter but I'm on a rant now, so I guess this will be semi educational.

Throughout the series, we see Edward over estimated his abilities and value, constantly getting bodied by others. He's essentially a perfect mormon, though thats on S'meyers. He constantly judges others, dehumanizing them to their baser flaws, without doing any self reflecting. Him viewing himself as a monster doesn't really count to me. While he definitely hates himself, the only thing he is truly demonizing is being a vampire.

Bella: Picking up from Edwards, Bella is a Chocolate Labrador. Yes, she is his therapy dog. I feel like this is really fitting for her. I know Golden retriever would make more sense, as thats the most common breed for service animals. However, I kind of focused on her appearance. Only at first though! I just know that Edward raved about her human qualities and that would pass over as animals as well. Her chocolate eyes and brown fur, very average and boring. Thats essentially Bella. Even Edward wasn't into her until he got a wiff. Labradors a very loyal dogs and while they have more personality than Bella, I just couldn't shake it. Their also very stupid. Ok that's kind of mean, they're not stupid but when it comes to love, then yeah they are stupid.

I used to have a lab, loved him to death, but god he was something else. Very much danger prone, from their own stupidity or their lack of survival instincts. I know that labs are almost aquatic. They love water, swimming, all that jazz. We can just say that bella has a few screws loose in her dna and is just "not like other labs."

Rosalie: Now she was hard. There are quite a few animals that I think would fit for her. I'll list the other ones, but that one I went with is the Swan. Like Edward, seems a little on the nose, but I have my reasoning.

I was going to pick a predator for her, as she is shown to be very vengeful and viscous. I would have pick some type of cat, most likely a purebred, from a rich family. It could still work, but the swan just speaks to me on this one.

Swan's are known for being beautiful, graceful, and are pictured as the symbol of love. They are also very vain. Edward constantly brings up Rosalies vanity. She was constantly valued for her beauty as a human, so of course that crossed over in the transformation. She was raised to be married into wealth, she was used as a bargaining chip to increase the family's standing.

Rose has a very strong character and makes her opinions known. She's assertive and aggressive at times. She's not afraid to get dirty.

Swans mate for life and like geese, are known for being great parents. I was also going to choose geese as an option for the maternal instincts. I was wary at first because swans can be really aggressive. Like actually, you think geece are bad? Yikes bestie...

I was conflicted because swans are known for drowning dogs and sometimes people. However, I can actually see Rose drowning Bella. It's not that unbelievable lmao.

Emmett: Now this one is just ironic. I only associate him with bears. Its inevitable, but picking a Grizzly or Black bear is too obvious. So I went a slightly different route...

So I was going to pick the Sun bear just because of looks alone. Like, I'm not exaggerating, it looks like someone wearing a bear costume. I don't think it fits him but I know for a fact that he would dress up as a sun bear and sneak into a zoo to see if anyone would notice. I'll put a pic of it here

Like look at this thing. I have no words...

Anyway, what I picked was a Sloth Bear. Now Sloth bears are mostly nocturnal, which either way works consider vamps don't sleep. Their diet is also odd but honestly so is the cullens. They're native to the Indian subcontinent, and are known for being aggressive towards humans. Its said that for the most part they're pretty calm, so I think its just fear of humans that make them act aggressively. Honestly, that's a good thing because they are listed as vulnerable on the IUCN Red list.

They have some similarities with sloths, which is where they get the name. They have long claws and unusual teeth. They are known to hang upside down from tree branches, and is described as having a messy appearance. Honestly, Emmitt has a messy personality. Sorry bestie but you're a lot of work.

Now heres the biggest reason for choosing this bear. Aside from Baloo from the jungle book being a sloth bear, they are known to run fades with Tigers. Honestly, how fucking badass is that!? Now I don't think there are recorded instances of a Sloth bear killing a Tiger, but when push comes to shove, they can hold their own and I find that incredibly impressive.

Carlisle: This one was somehow the easiest as well as the toughest. I know Owl seems like the obvious choice, and I can see it. However, I believe Carlisle values emotional intelligence as much or if not more than academic intelligence. He is so charismatic and values other's above himself. He might not be as Saint like as Edward thinks, but he does try and I think he genuinely cares about others. For that reason alone, I choose a Elephant.

Elephant's are very social animals and are extremely intelligent. I could rave about them for ages, I love them so much.

Now elephants live in a familial unit and are usually matriarchal. Bulls usually are on the outer edges of the herd or form little groups with other males. Honestly, they're not that bad aside from when their in musk.

In the group of males, the elder ones will teach the younger where to get the best food, water, how to use things as tools, and every other thing that will increase their odds of survival. This is really cute to me tbh, they do this because the females usually choose the older males because they've proved that they are intelligent and strong, that they have survived and will continue to for awhile. Teaching the younger males these things are to make the odds of them getting chosen to mate more likely. The whole unit just reminds me of a father that has to deal with rowdy teens.

Carlisle likes to take in strays, he might not have a herd but he will make one and teach them to thrive. That's how he envisions it anyway. He just has a found family and is trying his best.

Esme: Now this might seem like an insult, but I promise it's not! This is in no way misogynistic. I love cattle and ever since I took animal science in highschool, I have appreciated these grass puppies like they deserve. Call me Castro because I love cows.

Yup! I chose a Cow for her. Specifically a beef cow. That might sound weird but its because beef cows have higher maternal instinct than dairy cows. I'm thinking Scottish Highland based on vibes alone.

They are nicknamed the Gentle Giants of Scotland. Super maternal and sweet and ugh look how cute they are!

Esme came from a abusive marriage and had just lost her child, she was depressed and desperate. Her changing was, in a way, salvation. She just fits in. She adopts all these strays along with him and will protect them to the death. She might be gentle by nature, but don't fuck with her family. She lost her first one and she isn't going to lose this one.

Alice: She's an odd one. There are so many possibilities and maybe I'm biased, but I feel like she would be a Crow.

Ok listen, I'm definitely biased but it just feels right. Crows get a bad rap, they are so cool! They are so intelligent and have the ability to actually sit and think about the past, prest, and future. I forget what its called, but this was only seem in humans! Maybe other apes, I can't remember exactly, but either way its awesome. They do live in groups, or murders, and remember people and faces. They remember locations and are able to pass down information through generations. They essentially have their own language! They are able to use tools too!

Alice's story is really sad. When we first meets her, it revolves around the death of her mother and her institutionalized. She was essentially tortured and forgot everything from her past. All she had was the future and even that wasn't constant. Crows a often viewed as omens, they are associated with death. I personally believe that instead of being the cause, they just know something is going to happen. They are very inquisitive and can be creative.

If you befriend a murder of crows, sometimes, depends or the group, they will bring gifts. Its can range from food to shiny metals and colorful plastic. Hell, I think I've seen a post of one stealing things from people just to gift it to their human.

Alice's love language is gifts. Even if they are focused around fashion, she still goes out of her way to get something that will look good and at least be a little comfortable. By that I mean she tends to forget peoples comfort zones, but she means well.

Jasper: Honestly not to sure what to put for him. I know a predator would be more fitting, but for some reason I can see a donkey working. I know, seems like I'm clowning on the confederate. Fair, but I'm serious about the donkey thing. Honestly, it would be perfect if it wasn't a herbivore. Porcupine would also work.

Being a predator would make more sense. Given his backstory and his characterization, it wouldn't make sense for him to be a prey animal. Usually I wouldn't count this, but given his gore filled past and trouble with the diet, it seemed fitting.

I see him as a Big Cat. Honestly, vamps in general just give cat vibes. Jasper though especially have some cat like qualities, which originates from hunting and being a soldier.

I specifically see him as a Mountain Lion. Aside from him being blonde, he just has the predatory stealth to him. In midnight sun, we see him use his gift to make the nomads overlook him. He's honestly really powerful.

Mountain lions are known for being stealthy with an air of grace and power to them. They are stong animals. And I mean strong. They can jump 40-45 feet.

They're very elusive and quite. They stalk their prey and tend to attack from behind but don't think they won't hold their ground if need be.

Jasper was changed during the Civil War and forced to fight in the Newborn wars. He was a soldier as a human and as a vampire. He's able to feel and manipulate others emotions. He's covered in scars and is very intimidating.

He still struggles with the diet and honestly I hate how the others handle it. Like they have no room to talk. I don't want to defend the confederate but it just pisses me off. He has to deal with his hunger on top of everyone else's. Like damn, besties always on edge! Everyone doubts him which I don't think helps any.

Also, Mountain lions and Cheetahs can purr!

@aquanova99 I'll do a Volturi one too. That one will be fun lmao

#twilight saga #the twilight saga #twilight au #bella swan #edward cullen #carlisle cullen #esme cullen #jasper hale #jasper cullen #alice cullen #rosalie hale #rosalie cullen #emmett cullen #the cullens #the volturi #honestly look at the muscle definition on that thing #jesus chriiiist

[frostops]

I have some thoughts about how FGO has handled trans and trans-adjacent characters, and I’m frustrated how many people talk about the mishandlings without discussing the transmisogyny in it, but this is long as fuck, so its under the cut.

Its a good thing that FGO is having more characters with the genderless trait who aren’t given that trait for shitty reasons, but framing this as FGO being better at handling nonbinary characters, while technically true, ignores what caused many of the early issues. That cause is often transmisogyny.

Transmisogyny has been an issue in the game since Da Vinci’s introduction. Da Vinci doesn’t have the genderless trait, but she’s still important to discuss to understand FGO’s mishandling of trans characters. Mash and Romani are both angry at the idea of Leonardo Da Vinci not being a man, and call her a pervert, among other things. This is immediately after both find out King Arthur was actually a woman, but neither seemed to care then. Its understood by the writing that some believed to be a man turning out to actually be a cis woman isn’t deserving of malice, but that person turning out to be a trans woman is. The writing surrounding Da Vinci slowly got better, with characters being less shitty about and eventually respecting her gender. While Da Vinci initially describes herself as beyond gender, she says so in response to Roman and Mash’s reaction to her gender, where as whenever she is referred to as a woman (Lancelot saying he couldn’t hurt a beautiful women in Camelot, Napoleon calling her mademoiselle in LB2), she eats it up. Her early description of being beyond gender feels more like a tongue-in-cheek way of degendering a trans woman. While overall the writing treats Da Vinci better now, there are still times where it gets shitty, even as recent as the event where Van Gogh was introduced, where Hokusai talks about both Da Vinci and Van Gogh having an inherent maleness that bleeds into their art. This event did have a guest writer, but it was still allowed into the game.

The first character to have the genderless trait is D’Eon. Historically, D’Eon was intersex and trans feminine, and very likely a trans woman, but the fate version is introduced saying they were crazy in life, intended to be in reference to how they presented their gender. They are also presented as caring more about loyalty to France than what gender they are seen as, when the real D’Eon blackmailed the king into legally recognizing them as a woman. Transmisogyny, as well as intersexism, is pretty obviously what made Type-Moon take reduce D’Eon to just jokes about gender. D’Eon feels degendered in way similar to how Da Vinci is at time, though D’Eon gets it worse

Astolfo debuted in Apocrypha, where their presentation is used for a joke where Jeanne, believing Astolfo to be a girl, freaks out when she sees that Astolfo has a penis. The joke is that it is such a horrible thing to find a penis on some you think is a girl. I shouldn’t need to explain the transmisogyny behind that, or that Astolfo ostensibly not being a trans woman doesn’t make the joke less transmisogynistic. There are other, better things about Astolfo in Apocrypha, but most of their writing in FGO is in the same vein as the joke with Jeanne. This is crystalized in Agartha, where both Astolfo and D’Eon were used for many transmisogynistic, intersexist, and homophobic jokes. 

The third, and for a long time last, character to have the genderless trait was Enkidu. They are given this trait due to changes to their myth. In Fate, Enkidu is made of clay, and had a nonhuman appearance until meeting Shamhat, and modeling their appearance after her. They don’t have a physical sex, but, due to originally being a male character and appearing feminine in fate, the writers and fans alike treat them similarly to how they treat Astolfo and D’Eon, though less aggressively. Usually when Enkidu appears in a fate work, one character has to talk about how they can’t tell whether Enkidu is a man or a woman, before settling on neither, but only reach that conclusion because they don’t have a physical sex. The transmisogyny isn’t as strong in Enkidu’s writing, but its still there.

Until LB3, no other character would be given the genderless trait, and what all 3 of them have in common is being AMAB or originally male characters who present femininely. Technically Da Vinci fits this description as well, but her body is considered female by Type-Moon’s standards, so she gets the female trait. Also, with the exception of Astolfo, have bodies that wouldn’t considered male of female by most people. In Deon’s case, this is the result of intersexism, and even more frustrating when you remember that D’Eon blackmailed the king to be seen as a woman. I’d wager the reason Astolfo is grouped with the other two is itself a continuation of the joke from Apocrypha. It’s a coy “We all know what Astolfo’s ‘real’ gender is, but we’ll play along with the joke.” 

I think this also explains other characters who, arguably, could be included in the genderless trait, but were not. Nezha, like Da Vinci, only got a “female” body after dying, so they get the female trait too, despite not really being comfortable with any gender labels. Mordred, who consistently gets violently angry at being called a woman, and whose bio states that they don’t like being referred to as a man either (though this wouldn’t be implemented into writing until LB3, where they are clearly far less bothered by being referred to as man) also  has the female trait. King Hassan’s bio has his gender listed as “?????” but he is treated as male by the game and has the male trait.

None of the newer genderless servants fit the same description of amab/originally male and presenting femininely, which does show a more nuanced understanding of gender identity and expression, but it doesn’t show anymore respect towards trans women and transfems. Both Shi Huang Di and Douman have somewhat androgynous presentations, but we still don’t really have trans fem character whose gender and presentation is treated respectfully other than Da Vinci, and that’s frustrating. For the most part, though, these characters are all pretty well handled. 

Two of them, Mao Nobu and Romulus-Quirinus, are new versions of characters who already had the female and male trait respectively, meaning the game has at least someone moved away from equating the genderless trait to a character’s physical sex, but not entirely since part of the reason Shi Huang Di has the trait is their inability to reproduce.

There is some disagreement about how Caenis is handled, and I do have thoughts on that topic, but if I talked about that this would be twice as long. The short version is that the necessity to make characters fit into fanservice, something which negatively affects all of the characters I mention here, limits the ways in which Caenis’s relationship to their gender can be explored. Its also why we have Caenis and not Caenus, and why Caenis is rarely allowed to where a shirt.

There is also Dioscuri, who is two characters, one man and one woman, who are collectively on servant, so even though they have the genderless trait, they're not really relevant.

We do have more originally male characters now in female bodies. Vritra and Van Gogh, who were added recently (Vritra’s bio says she was originally male and now has a female vessel and Van Gogh is Vincent Van Gogh in Clytie’s body), Kama, an originally male deity possessing Sakura’s body, is being added to NA this year, and even back in part 1 we had Quetzalcoatl, another male god in a female vessel. All of them are given the female trait, and Quetz in particular seems to be very comfortable being a woman, but this still feels like what happened with Nezha, where the “physically female” body matters more than the identity of the character, especially with Van Gogh, who had no choice in being put in Clytie’s body. 

Mechanically, the gender traits only affect certain skills and nps, having extra or stronger effects. The genderless servants are exempt from the extra effects, with one exception. Once of Blackbeard’s skills has an effect for female servants, but D’Eon and Astolfo (And maybe also Enkidu, but I don’t remember) were included in this effect as well. The joke here was that Blackbeard is written to be reflective of  the worst qualities of weebs and otakus. many of whom would refer to those two as traps, a transmisogynistic slur, so Blackbeard is into them in the same way. Servants with the genderless trait added afterwards weren’t included in this effect, even though some of them (the ones who transphobic fate fans consider to be women) would still be seen as attractive by Blackbeard. So rather than coding each one individually to be included, they added a new trait, the female looking trait, for Blackbeard’s skill. The genderless servants included in this one all present feminine, but the inclusion of this trait is to make continuing a transphobic joke easier, which almost feels like a step back from some of the previous progress in handling trans characters.

I also think some people are a little too eager to give FGO credit when it may not deserve. For instance, a lot of people liked Douman being included in the genderless trait, and on its own it fine, but the my room line where Sei talks about trying to check under Douman’s robes concerns me. Many people took it as Sei just being horny for Douman, but it could easily be intended as Sei trying to check what’s really in his pants, especially since the canon reason Douman has the genderless trait is that he combined himself with some spirits and deities, one of which is female.

None of this is to say its wrong to view any of these characters as nonbinary (I do view most of them as nonbinary), but I don’t think we should view the genderless trait as equivalent to nonbinary. Not only are there characters included in it who probably shouldn’t be (like D’Eon) and characters who don’t have it who probably should (like Nezha), doing so treat nonbinary as a third and wholly separate gender. And if you’re going to talk about the transphobia of FGO, please be willing to use the word transmisogyny.

#transmisogyny #transphobia #fate grand order #fate/go

[kiruuuuu]

Doc/Lion oneshot in which Lion suffers from the consequences of being tortured. (Rating M, hella angst + some comfort, ~3.3k words) - written for @renegad3spectre​! Thank you a ton for commissioning me, I really really enjoyed this prompt, just took it and ran with it. It was a pleasure, all the love to you 🧡🧡🧡

.

Horrifically, it’s his grandfather delivering the blows.

He’s got fond memories of him, of sweets smuggled into his pocket, repeated stories ever-changing from one retelling to the next, quiet banter loud enough for him to hear but muffled enough that he suppressed his own laughter. He smelled of books and wood and old people, and that must’ve been it – the building had held a heavy, stale air which probably triggered the association, unwanted as it is.

So now the creature in his head, the remnant, the ghost haunting his mind wears his grandpa’s face like it owned it, like it had absolutely any right. It hurts more this way. It hurts to be called a disgrace, worthless, useless. It hurts to be disowned, it hurts to hear I have no grandson and it hurts to be accused of killing them, you killed them, your hand held the scalpel and this particular voice coming from his grandfather’s mouth is even more disturbing.

Who do you work for, he yells, unforgiving, merciless, and now his features shift, skin discolouring and eyes sinking into their holes to make way for nothing but darkness, and soon it’s the familiar sight of a brutal, faceless monster, concealed by a mask, surrounded by others looking exactly like him, supported by clones. Where are they, they scream at him in unison, who else. And he wants to answer, wants so desperately to reply to make it stop, is willing to give up anything, everything, if only it means this unbearable noise in his head quiets down. But his thoughts are made of tar, spread slowly and directionless, impossible to wade through. Words elude him, fade like smoke whenever he attempts to grasp them, endeavours to put this horrendous suffering into a single sentence.

Not like any expression he knows would be sufficient to describe this torture.

He doesn’t know what’s real. At times, he’s losing himself in a loud beat and a steaming crowd, coloured lights sweeping overhead and music seeping into his bones, and he knows he needs to reunite with his friends to keep partying, keep the night alive. It’s convincing enough he can taste the cheap drinks in his throat and feels naked, sweaty arms brush over his own on the dance floor – and the next second a blinding light pierces his skull and there are too many people around him he doesn’t know. They sound alarmed, eyes wide, and it sparks an instant, shrieking panic: something is wrong and he has no idea what it is. The strangers refuse to let him go, hold him down, and he tries to explain while the sterile stench they exude causes his stomach to churn and turn.

.

Most of the time, his ears are filled with accusations. The source is constantly evolving but what stays is the nauseating sense of dread. His heart races against the rest of his bodily functions and easily wins every time since his senses are sluggish, his perception unreliable and his thoughts wrapped in cotton. Grimaces of fury are persistent companions, and though he can’t put a name to all of them, their familiarity cuts deep. His mother, his former friends, his father, his sister. Alexis. Claire. The guy he met in Marseille who pretended to be his friend. Doc. Thatcher. An abomination from that cursed city Lion tries so hard to forget. Doc. The masked entity, omniscient, omnipotent, terrifying. Alexis. Doc.

He understands.

Why people would betray their loved ones, their country, their morals – he understands now, and the realisation is as chilling as the experience. He begged to be able to tell them. Begged for his life, begged for his life to be taken. Begged for peace as opposed to the chaos inside him, and he knows now most people have no idea what chaos really means. They humanise it, award it positive or negative qualities yet Lion would tell them it’s neither malevolent nor merciful. It just is. Against it, he is nothing, smaller than a speck of dust, utterly inconsequential and unimportant: in the face of true chaos, he’s meaningless. All he can do is hope he survives it.

.

The room is empty, his eyes tell him, and his ears tell him the same, but his brain is convinced of someone’s presence, just out of sight. Pitiful noises fill the barren, bleak chamber and they come from him, but at least they summon another human. A human with Doc’s face, and then with a mask, and then it’s Doc’s face again. Lion buries his fingernails so deep into his arm he tastes copper on his lips and pleads for him to stay. He sounds like a broken record, this voice isn’t his, the syllables barely intelligible among the dry heaving and the sobs. Music starts playing, a loud riff reminiscent of his teenager years, signifying rebellion and freedom and the worst fucking period of his entire life, and Doc says your hand held the scalpel and he’s gone again.

More, he implored as if anything he said would sway them, yes, please. And he looked at the needle and hated it, despised himself for craving it like this, abhorred the ones who turned him into this, and simultaneously he needed. He needed it so much. Without it, he was broken.

His throat is hoarse from screaming, so the visions morphed from atrocious to tragic until he had no more tears left to cry, and then they went for the very core of him. And this, too, he understands now: why anyone would go above God and decide existence isn’t worth it anymore. If he’s being tested, he’ll gladly fail as long as it means silence. If he’s being punished, he’s ready to receive eternal punishment for it can’t be any worse than this.

.

Someone is calling his name. The man – the men – knew it because he told them, it was one of the many things he told them, so he fights tooth and nail to continue drifting in this vegetative state, but it grows ever more insistent and strips away the layers of mud obstructing his consciousness, leaving him no choice. He can’t remember what it’s like, to have a choice, to choose.

Long words are being thrown at him. He deciphers none and yet an image forms below his eyelids, less blurry with every new description. The professional tone of voice pushes him gently back to his days of studying, a time filled with diligence and the hope to make a difference, and his despairing brain latches on to the information like a drowning man to a piece of driftwood.

Delirium, the familiar voice lists, agitation, seizures, anxiety, hallucinations. Too many syllables to fully absorb, and still he deconstructs them halfway. The mask wouldn’t know them. And if it did, it wouldn’t use them around him.

He’s safe.

He must be, it’s the only valid conclusion, but why does his existence still hurt this much? Why is the world shaking, why is he slowly drifting away from everything he ever held dear, from his life, this earth, himself?

.

They have Alexis. The realisation jolts through him like an electric shock. He needs to rescue him somehow, together with the people by his side, yet he can’t shoot at the maniacally cackling crowd running away from him because he’s not sure which one of them has him, and he can’t risk hitting his own son. Risk harming his most important footprint on this world. The masked grimace tells him he’ll be too late, and besides, it was his own fault anyway: Lion willingly told them about Alexis’ whereabouts in exchange for his next fix.

And he did do that. He did that. These are the consequences of his own actions, his punishment for complying with minimal resistance instead of staying strong, remembering his training. He sacrificed his son for something this trivial. Offered him up in exchange for complacency. Put himself first.

People are screaming, Claire, his colleagues, his family, and he knows he must interfere if his life is meant to be worth anything anymore, and there’s a small voice inside his head, an old companion. Full of vitriol, pulling at threads to make him come undone, scratching at scabs to cause scars, widening holes so he’s incomplete. It suggests a scenario and with petrifying speed, he’s there to live it.

He has a choice. On the one side is his son, gagged, tears in his eyes, struggling against his restraints. On the other side is –

There’s a –

.

It’s a syringe.

.

“-s alright. You’re alright. Take a breath, Flament. You’re safe, you have nothing to worry about. Do you need to throw up?”

Paying no attention to the words, Lion is flailing, sitting up abruptly and touching his legs to check whether they’re still there, touches his face and feels blind panic flare up the moment he spots the object in the crook of his arm. He’s narrowly stopped from ripping it out by an iron grip against which he struggles wildly, demanding to be let go, knocking something over and shattering it.

The vice-like grip never once wavers, and gradually his surroundings begin to sink in. He’s in a hospital, it seems, and the person by his side is none other than Doc, trusty (your hand held the scalpel) Doc who’d never let a patient suffer more than absolutely necessary. Bleeding heart Doc. Doc with his stoic face which barely contains the rage undoubtedly roaring in his chest (and is it directed at Lion?).

From one second to the next, Lion deflates and sinks back into the pillows, thoroughly fatigued. His adrenaline wears off quickly and makes way for uncomfortable nausea and the sensation of itching limbs. He needs to move, needs to shake off this horrible feeling of having slept a decade, but he doesn’t trust his body. The hand finally lets go of his wrist and leaves behind a print even lighter than Lion’s skin already is.

“Alexis is safe, too”, Doc assures him.

Lion jumps at this. How does he know? His throat closes and opens, produces a dry rasp and forces him to cough. Next to him, Doc is waiting patiently. “Where is he?”, Lion eventually gets out.

“At home. He never left.” He sounds composed despite the storm clouds visible in his expression, so Lion isn’t the intended recipient of his cold fury. “You kept calling for him, so I figured you must be worried. But there’s no need for concern.”

“What happened?”

Doc pauses for a few seconds. “We apprehended the ones responsible. Fortunately, we intercepted their outgoing messages, so what little information you gave them never reached anyone else.”

If this was true, Lion could exonerate himself. He also takes note of how Doc is silent about the before. He must guess Lion remembers being captured, remembers what they did to him. Bruises on his body are evidence for some of it, and the hellish trip tells the rest of the story. “How much did I say?”

“Doesn’t matter. We caught it.”

“How much?”

“You shouldn’t worry about -”

“Gustave!”, Lion roars, desperate to be either condemned or redeemed. He needs to know, must know so he can better assess his own mental strength. So he knows what to confess. So he can pray for forgiveness.

Doc’s lips are a thin line. “I don’t know. Grace and Mark had an agreement with Harry not to disclose any details. He says it’s standard procedure to prevent potential animosity.”

Not good enough. He’ll never be able to look Alexis in the eyes again if it turns out he did mention him. How much of his memories are real, how much were part of his nightmares? “What about my son?”, he whispers and Doc just shakes his head.

“As I said: I don’t know. Try to get some rest, Flament.”

Just as he exits the room, Lion spots the deep scratches on Doc’s forearm. Please stay, just please, he yells at Doc in his head, unable to bend his lips around the words. Don’t leave me alone. Don’t leave me.

He starts crying again.

So weak is he that the tears won’t stop, can’t stop, a broken silhouette in the shape of a man. Fragmented, just like his thoughts. He can’t remember ever feeling this terrible, hasn’t felt this frail and fragile in forever. His body doesn’t feel like home.

No time that night is spent sleeping. Restless, he crawls out of bed, explores the room that isn’t his while dragging his IV stand along, lets his eyes wander over pages not belonging to him, books left on his nightstand on accident probably, and doesn’t absorb a single word.

.

Once his thoughts are his own again, he utilises them with newfound fervour. He requests his phone and types until his thumbs hurt, types and deletes, corrects, amends, reinvents.

This is a theme in his life, an endlessly repeating circle: arrogance begets punishment. A boastful adolescent loses his innocence by nearly terminating an unborn life, by indulging vices too great for him to understand. A reformed young man deeming himself competent is burdened with death and riddled with blame (your hand held the scalpel).

A man, feeling invincible, having repaired bridges, full of empathy, is beaten bloody and broken.

He hasn’t updated his will in years – a symptom of a much more dangerous cause. Rainbow instilled a delusion of grandeur in him, promised him a future, coloured his life vibrantly and provided a new motto. Not me. He won’t be killed in the line of duty, not with these people by his side. He’ll be fine. Whatever happens, he’ll be fine.

This was a close call. Targeted and much more efficient than Six anticipated, or else Lion never would’ve been captured in the first place. If this is a sign, it couldn’t be any clearer: he’s not only not invincible, he’s delicate. This was just one weakness they could’ve exploited, Alexis obviously being another, his family as well. He won’t be as cocky when embarking on a mission from now on, and he’ll try to convey to the others how easy it is not to return.

It’s an earth-shattering wakeup call.

And so he types until the letters blur before his eyes, and says things which needed saying years ago. And he vows that this change in perspective will be a permanent one – he’ll never open himself up like this anymore. He’ll stay alert. He’ll fend off complacency.

.

And then Montagne is by his side and says a thing too chilling to be true. He’s gone, it drips from his lips like poison, and Lion knows with absolute certainty that it’s the truth. Doc accompanied him on the mission, Lion failed him, only he was saved. Endless protest is shushed by a sad shake of the head, a head with a face so ashen Lion can tell he’s not the only one filled with sorrow at the news.

There’s so much left unsaid between them, so much admiration and respect bottled up in order to show no weakness, and now he knows it’s useless to suppress emotion due to pride. Neither of them had managed to move on and now that Lion was willing to offer introspection and the admittance of possible mistakes in the shape of good intentions and the only course of action he saw, Doc would never be able to accept any of it.

Doc would never tell him he did a good job again. He’d never show him this grim smile again, the one he wore whenever he was satisfied with Lion’s work despite the outcome, laced with pride almost – or maybe this is wishful thinking, because after all they’ve lived through, a part of Lion still craves his approval so desperately that every positive word makes him glow from the inside, only he’s gone now, and Lion will never tell him –

.

“Olivier.”

Drenched in sweat, a pounding headache and with trembling limbs, he wakes up. Still in the hospital, still with Doc by his side. Of course: his demons have been depriving him of all things positive in his life, so why not him too? Nightmares know no bounds and refuse to accept Doc is sacred.

The other man is flushed slightly, dressed immaculately as always, but most importantly: alive. His gaze is turned downward to where Lion is gripping his wrist so tightly his knuckles are white. “I’m here”, Doc says gently. “You can let go. I’m here.”

Lion considers complying, though when it registers that Doc called him by first name, all he does is loosen his grip. “I dreamt you died”, he admits, staring up at the irregular patterns on the ceiling. He couldn’t ever convey this emotionless void Doc’s death caused in him, the utter emptiness – somehow, it was as if he’d lost his life’s goal. Which is insane, because his aim is to better the world. Not win Doc over.

“I could tell”, says Doc.

He must’ve been distraught, calling out in his sleep, reaching for his colleague. A question occurs to him which he should’ve asked sooner: “Is everyone else alright?”

“Yes.” Hesitation. “Ying has a black eye. When we came, they were currently depriving you.”

Lion figured as much. “I need to apologise to her.”

“You weren’t yourself.” Doc’s eyes meet his. “That wasn’t you.”

His relief must be palpable. Hearing it from Doc’s mouth doesn’t make it true, but it drowns out that malicious voice which never fucking shuts up. Giving up their secrets, thirsting for a meritless high, attacking blindly – even himself: he’s more than that, and knowing Doc is fully aware of this causes him to fight back tears of gratitude. “No. It wasn’t.”

After a moment of silence, Doc’s arm twists around and offers his hand, which Lion immediately accepts. For now, there’s no second-guessing motives, no long deliberation as to whether Doc is helping a co-worker, a friend, someone more than that, whether he’s volunteering support or understanding or something else entirely. All he knows is: the hand is warm, so warm it spreads a soft calmness all throughout him.

“I brought you music.” Doc indicates an old iPod on the bedside table next to the stack of books (which has grown), a vase with flowers and a few cards. Lion either failed to notice them before or they’re a recent addition. “Dominic helped with the selection.”

This is good news. Lion hopes for unfamiliar bands – he’s not sure what kind of reaction the ones from his youth might trigger in this state.

“And I spoke with Harry.” The segue is too casual. Lion has become proficient at reading between the lines with Doc, and he translates it as I gave him a stern talking to. “He said to tell you the information you gave was deemed ‘insignificant’.”

The wording doesn’t escape him: there’s no certainty in what -

“And you didn’t even mention Alexis.”

Lion takes a deep breath.

Between the constant pressure against his temples, the rolling stomach and nauseating dizziness, he’s felt better, but trusting Doc’s words to be true settles something inside him. Doc wouldn’t lie about this. “Thank you”, Lion replies and hopes his earnest gratitude is audible.

There’s so much to say between them his thoughts are going haywire considering just a fraction of it. All their arguments are ultimately the same as Lion’s treason: insignificant in the grand scheme of things. Something invisible connects them and it should be time to drag it to the surface, but not now. Not when he’s barely begun to heal from his outside and inside wounds.

Instead, he asks: “Will you stay a little longer?”

This time, Doc nods and remains where he is, a bastion of calm. And when Lion squeezes his hand, Doc returns the gesture and it’s all he needs for the moment.

It’s enough.

#rainbow six siege #doc #lion #doc/lion #fanfic #oneshot #commissions #my internet search history is very suspicious now #they're tired of dancing after this #there's more important things than beating around the bush

[into-crazy]

Man Under the Makeup Pt. 1

Arthur Fleck/Joker x Female Reader series

Warnings- Cursing, brief harassment, bullying from teens, Arthur having a laughing fit

You can find the other parts RIGHT HERE and through the “Man Under the Makeup” tag lovelies!💘

Gotham City. How does one begin to describe what it's like living here? What it is now, that is. You never used to mind it much when you moved here. People kept to themselves, the streets were a little more peaceful, and the air was definitely cleaner. It's only been some years, hardly time for it to change to what it has currently come to. Or.. maybe you've just gotten older, and come face to face with the bullshit reality. Because now, it seems like everyone has something to say, the streets have become dangerous at night, and the air is filled with pollution from excess trash piles and the nasty attitudes of the citizens.

Perhaps this is what life has always been like, and you were blind to it until you had to step out into the world on your own. The things that keep you going at night, though it doesn't interfere with your sleep much. Just an occasional thought that pops up when you're not preoccupied with anything else.

Making your way to work, this was one of those times. It's cloudy and cold out this morning. A typical Monday morning in the city. The streets reek of weeks old garbage which pile on the sidewalks.

Dressed for the weather, you're wearing a long blush dress, with a thick black coat, and black boots. You walk past the expressionless faces of many people, trying to get where they need to be. You're not apart of the blank crowd; No, you don't walk around with a smile 24/7. But you have some bit of life in you at least. Not getting why many people are so rude, why they walk around as if they're dead or of higher value. Hm, maybe it's the weather. Thinking of some possible explanation.

At least you're not the only one. There are individuals you can smile at, or of course greet.. The little old lady that sits at her building door as you walk by, the door man at your place of work, and a few mothers strolling along with their young children. They share the same energy as you, returning gracious nods.

Halfway to work, you make way through a busy area with small owned businesses and stores. A successful looking man eyes you up and down as you pass him. You pull your coat closed tightly, walking faster. That action is definitely high on your "Things I Can't Stand" list. You may not be as wealthy, however you've found your own success. Also, you will not let some rich snob think he can buy you. That's the way the rich feel, as though their money can control the world. Which it's arguably true, for the most part.

Ahead of you, a man dressed in a clown costume dances around with a sign: "EVERYTHING MUST GO!!" Painted with black and orange. You often see him out here in the mornings, advertising for one of the stores. Wearing his usual red and blue plaid jacket, deep purple pants, large clown shoes, finished with bright green clown hair and makeup. He's one of those people you tend to smile at when exchanging glances. You can't help but admire his liveliness every time you spot him. So much energy in the way he moves.

Just when you were about to walk around him, two teenagers hurriedly make their way by. One of them extends his arm and purposely shoves the sign. Causing him to bump into you, dropping the sign on your feet.

"Haha, freak!" The teenagers laugh as they speed away.

"Hey!" You shout at them, but they're already too far. Damn jackasses.

"I'm so sorry," the man apologizes picking up the sign, placing it against a trash can. The paint on it was still a little wet, so a bit had rubbed onto your boots. "I didn't mean to-" before he could finish he abruptly breaks out in a laughing fit.

Catching you by surprise, you nervously chuckle with him. Soon coming to the realization that he wasn't laughing voluntarily. They came out strangled and out of his own control. "Hey, are you alright?" You ask him.

He takes note of your worry and tries to speak between the slightest pauses. "Sorry I- I have a- have a condition-" he manages to choke out covering his mouth with one of his hands. The other searching his front pocket. He pulls out a small card, handing it to you. He tries desperately to get himself together as you read the card.

"Oh my- I didn't realize," you felt terrible for your reaction. "How rude of me. I apologize for laughing along."

He calms down after a few more hard laughs. Straightening himself out before responding, "that's alright, I didn't mean to- huh! Ha!- didn't mean to umm scare you."

"No I'm fine. I just want to make sure you are okay." You assure the poor man. Moving your head forward slightly to glance at him as you hand him back the note card. Tears welt up in the corner of his eyes.

"I'll be okay," he confirms glancing back down at your feet. "I got orange paint on your shoes," the man looks at you, "I am sorry." His face is full with concern. Possibly thinking he might have angered you, preparing for you to yell at him in disgust.

"Oh no, it's alright," you assure him, "it wasn't your fault. Those bad kids." You laugh shaking it off.

"Yeah," he fixes his clown nose, "they can be cruel sometimes." There's this childlike quality in him, with the way he moves and speaks. Very shy and timid.

"You're telling me."

"They do it to you too?" He curiously asks. His eyes. Up this close, you see something hidden behind them. Those big green eyes. Masked by a false appearance of happiness.

"Oh, um- no," you shake your head, "I meant that I know how these teenagers act. Such juveniles, with no regard for others."

His gaze lowers to the floor. Shooting himself down for thinking someone as yourself would experience the things he does. "I see. Well, that's just how it is here."

"It's not an excuse for them to be so cruel. Especially for no reason."

Times have been rough in the city. Everything seemed to get more difficult. It amazes you how he can keep a cheerful temperament with the way things are. Although it also saddens you on how he's treated. He seems really sweet and humble, why would he be met with the opposite?

"Well, they see me dressed like this and it's easier for them." He adds. "Happens even out of makeup."

"Really?" You ask. "Still terrible behavior, don't let it get to ya. Wait, I might have seen you before."

"You think so?" He removes the clown wig and nose, then slightly spreads his arms. He does look familiar, although you can't tell much given the amount of make up he has on.

"Okay, yeah. I think I've seen you around before." You laugh placing your hand out, "I'm y/n, by the way."

"Arthur, but my clown name is Carnival." He responds, feeling quite prideful he's made you laugh.

"I like it. Nice to meet ya Arthur slash Carnival," you smile as he shakes your hand.

"Same to you," he chuckles nervously, "I'm just glad you aren't chewing me out for ruining your shoes. Most people get pretty upset if I brush them by accident."

"What these?" You glance at your feet. "Noo it's fine. And as you can see, I'm not a narrow-minded narcissist." You note. "And from what I can tell, neither are you."

"Yeah, thank you," he nods in response. Unable to grasp how kind you're being towards him. Actually holding a decent conversation with him, not giving him the impression that you are uncomfortable- like most people tend to be. In fact, the way they are right now. Walking past, side eyeing the two of you. A look on their face indicating they're wondering why you are even talking to this nut case.

"Well," you start breaking him from his negative train of thought, "I gotta get going. Duty calls. I'll umm, see you around." You say before continuing on.

"Of course, see you, y/n." He waves as you start heading your way. Your words still pondering around in his head.

What an interesting man. You figure, wishing to stay and chat longer. But you have to get to your job, and Arthur back to his. No big deal, you'll see him around. Hopefully talk some more the next time you see him.

Little did you realize that Arthur also amazes himself. The world may be cruel to him, but he just smiles and shrugs it off. It's what he's been told to do. Trying his best to bring joy to this world. But with each passing day, it continues to get much harder. Deep down pushed away are his real feelings. Hidden behind a lock, almost ready to shatter. Completely unaware that it's going to get a lot worse.

Yet for now, he puts on his wig and nose. Working rather more cheerfully, mindful of y/n. The sweet young woman who made his day better.. today..

That's the end of part 1! Hope you like it so far. Fluff & smut will definitely come later on!

#Man Under the Makeup #joker #joker 2019 #arthur fleck #arthur fleck x reader #arthur fleck x y/n #arthur fleck x female reader #joker x reader #joker x y/n

[inazuma-hpau]

Anonymous said to inazuma-hpau: I was wondering whether Nagumo Haruya / Burn was best fitted in Gryffindor or Syltherin? I can see him doing really well in both, but I was curious about your opinion!

Sorry this is a super late reply from months ago! But I was asked a couple of times on twitter about this so thought I would answer it!

Short answer, I see him in both. While I lean slightly towards Gryffindor as my main headcanon sorting for him, I actually have two different headcanon situations where he’s either in Gryffindor or is in Slytherin. Nagumo would be one of the hatstall in his year with the Hat unable to decide whether he would be in Gryffindor or Slytherin.

Aliea Academia kids have always been the hardest to sort as they have always been equally Slytherin as they are with a second house. Primarily the reason that sorts them into Slytherin is the event that they played the role of aliens (in which they played the role of a different persona) in the Aliea Academy arc in original Inazuma Eleven. However, we do not want to base their house sorting solely on their actions from those events alone - esp as those events only lasted a few months (with probably a few more months prep time for them train as Aliea Academy).

We also need to consider:

Them being sorted at the age of 10

Their potential of them into their later teens which are not showcased in the anime

Their relationship with other characters including those that they have not canonly interacted with in the anime.

The hat sorts a student based on 3 things - it isn’t clear which in particular as it could be different for all students:

Qualities they valued or admired

Qualities they exhibited or sensed the capability to demonstrate later on

The student’s choice of house

Because of Aliea Academy Nagumo is shown to be (in particular events):

Deceptive: Pretending to be the Flame Striker to infiltrate Inazuma Caravan and deceiving people with his persona as Burn.

Ambitious / Power: For Prominence and then later Chaos to become the “strongest” Aliea team

These are particularly Slytherin traits we learn about him during his time as Burn and very briefly as a member of Fire Dragon. 

However, if you can look at him as a character as a whole, personality and qualities-wise, he is:

Fiery: Self explanatory, not just in his hissatsus, but also personality Slytherin is often associated with the element of Water, while Gryffindor with fire. 

Daring / Brash: I can see him being impulsive and aggressive, especially in his first 2 years, but even developing further into teenagehood - often rushes into things and act without thinking first and what the consequences. Slytherins tend to hesitate before acting, so as to weigh all possible outcomes before deciding exactly what should be done. It has been said that with Nagumo, “he is not afraid to face all kinds of challenges.”

Blunt and bold: He has have a quick and rash temper, but I can see him often bluntly saying things with no regard. In SD he is described as “He's hot-blooded and has an aggressive personality."

Nerve: He’d be the type that often deals situation directly, even with situations that could be have been completely avoided. e.g if he saw someone bullying a friend from Sun Garden (regardless of what house they ended up in), he’d confront the bully up front no matter where they were the moment he knew about it (even if it was publicly in the hallways and Great Hall and even if he’d end up in detention because of it). Slytherin students would be a bit more discreet and cunning, often planning revenge in a way that would leave no evidence that it was them.

Arrogance (however can also be a bit of Slytherin trait as well) and overconfident: Nagumo can come off quite overconfident in his soccer skills saying he wouldn’t be confident about them if he didn’t have good soccer skills. I can see him being the same about his quidditch skills. Slytherin arrogance can often be seen from Blood Purity, but also in the ‘Slytherin is more superior than Gryffindor’ mindset in the rivalry between the two houses. The Nagumo I see when I see him within Fire Dragon and Ares, I can see him being against blood supremacy, but seeing him as Burn, I can see him standing by it. 

Independent: Nagumo doesn’t like people to walk all over him nor being ordered or told to do / act a certain way (e.g Gran). He is rebellious and I can see him wanting to do his own thing (he has said before in the anime “I’ll do what I like” and warns for no one to get in his way) have his own fun rather to follow any rules (while Dumbledore says that Slytherin has a certain disregard for the rules, Serverus Snape considers Gryffindors to have no regard for rule either). However Slytherin is a political house who values pureblood traditional social customs as well as reputation. Their house is filled with many pureblood families  of which most have a large expectation to assure their children act a certain way and to not to dishonour their families. This often impact culture inside of Slytherin itself and quite influences the way Slytherins as a whole should act whole inside of Hogwarts (often leading to a form of peer pressure, unspoken rules on how a Slytherin should act and high standards - wether they come from one the traditionalist families or not). I don’t see Nagumo wanting to go along with these formal rules and acting like a proper pureblood (in the way that Sirius Black would march to the beat of his own drum and be sorted away from Slytherin). As the Sun Garden kids were brought up in an orphanage where pureblood rules were no taught and knocked into him and having to learn that within Slytherin house would irritate him “I don’t see the point in learning this”.

Finally I think as a whole, the Aliea kids being sorted into different houses which best fit their personality, than what happened to them solely in the Aliea Academy and FFI arcs are much more interesting in the context of writing and head canons as a whole. There’s more room for development both in their characters as well as relationships with other Aliea kids and other Inazuma Characters.

Not to mention that the house with the largest amount of Inazuma members sorted into it is Slytherin. This means there will be a lot more competition to find a place on the 7 member quidditch team (14 if you’re willing to expand to a First team and Second Team). 

For me the factors that have separated the two different scenarios of which house Nagumo would have ended up in is:

His relationship with Suzuno Fuusuke Suzuno is a friend that he’s grown up with at Sun Garden, but depending on how much of a rival Nagumo views him and what is the nature of that rivalry. Depending if the rivalry exists before Hogwarts or just after if they are sorted away from each other, if there is even the beginning of a positive or negative tension based rivalry between each other. Regardless, rivalry would always be initiated by Nagumo while Suzuno would be on the more indifferent end to begin with and later getting into the rivalry as much as Nagumo. Their rivalry would grow throughout Hogwarts, but I’d see them becoming more mature and not a childish rivalry the older they become. They However, if both Nagumo and Suzuno were both in Slytherin, I would kill to see them as a ‘chaotic’ beater duo.   Ares Nagumo and Suzuno were more on friendlier terms than in the original and yet he was also less of the personality traits listed above, so I wouldn’t have mind him in Slytherin either. 

The relationship he has with the other Sun Garden kids Depending on how close the Sun Garden kids are they may hope to be in the same house (especially with poor scared Midorikawa not wanting to be by himself), or be eagerly debating which house they’d be sorted in on the train towards Hogwarts - which regardless of house, I still see Nagumo teasing Midorikawa that he’ll end up alone in Hufflepuff. 

What house Kira Hiroto is sorted into This is only a minor one and one which is mostly here for ‘writing’ purposes I guess. Both Ares Kira Hiroto and Original Nagumo Haruya are both hatstalls for both Gryffindor and Slytherin and have similarities in personality - and I can see them in situations when sorted in both houses. I have a preference not to put them in the same house because of these similarities - I just think it would be more interesting story wise and let Nagumo stand out a bit more from the rest of the Sun Garden kids (as in Slytherin, often the others may take the spotlight).

#inazuma eleven #iehp au #ie hpau #harry potter au #gryffindor!nagumo haruya #slytherin!nagumo haruya #gryffindor #slytherin #asks

[mydorkycreations]

for the love language asks, could I ask for Jasper, Friday, Hiroki, Aaron, Forest, Winter, Candace, and Tiffany? OH, also Gretchen and Amadeus, if u don't mind??? I jst. Love all of them.

You CAN ask for them all of them! I’ll kinda do this by ranking of most preferred to least preferred :)

Also this got very long I’m sorry

Jasper:

Quality time-- he loves being around people he likes, and feels neglected/misses people if they don’t spend time with him for a while

Gifts--  he loves to give things and get things, especially if it’s involving food, and he has a mental list of things that he knows his friends like/dislike that he just kinda always has in the back of his mind

Touch-- he’s not overly touchy, tbh. Like, it’s nice and all, but it feels a little less personal than like spending actual time together or giving someone something in general

Words of affirmation-- as odd as this may sound, he doesn’t really need a hype man or verbal affirmation. He can figure things out on his own. Compliments are nice, though, and communication is important, so he puts some effort into this one even if it isn’t necessarily his thing per se

Acts of service-- he appreciates someone making an effort to make his life easier and generally tries to do the same, but he considers it more of a being polite thing rather than an actual act of affection. Plus, he can be particular about some things (especially with the way the kitchen is organized) and so sometimes the help isn’t always as helpful as the helper thinks

Friday:

Words of affirmation-- she tries not to show it, but words have a major impact on her, both positively and negatively. A compliment can make her day and a rude comment can just as easily ruin it. She’s very shy about saying nice things to other people, though, in case the compliment is rejected

Touch-- she’s insecure about it because it’s something her mother actively discouraged, but she ADORES physical affection. Once she’s comfortable enough with Jasper someone to feel like she can without getting in trouble, the poor soul is in near danger of being smothered in it

Quality time-- it’s an acceptable, straightforward way to show affection that’s more difficult to pull off when ulterior motives are in play, and she appreciates it for that

Acts of service-- someone??? did something NICE for her??? Unrealistic. She tends to think of this more as someone trying to like get her attention than be nice

Gifts-- this one is Odd because she hates getting gifts, but gives them all the time because she’s rich and has money to throw around, so I’m putting it on the bottom

Hiroki:

Touch-- Hiroki is INCREDIBLY tactile, possibly because of the way his powers work as extensions of himself. Unless there’s a reason not to, he’s touching his friends almost constantly, and can recognize most of their silhouettes by feel when he’s using his powers to sense people. He’ll pick up on any sort of unusual response to/rejection of contact immediately

Quality time-- listen, when you’re an introvert, deciding someone is worth spending time with is A Big Deal, especially if it’s one on one, and he doesn’t hand it out lightly

Acts of service-- to do something for someone so they don’t have to, and then have them do the same for you, is that not an incredible thing? He certainly thinks it is. It would be #2, but there is also Extreme Mental Trauma associated with this one and it’s demoted to #3 as a result

Gifts-- he appreciates gifts (especially if they’re useful), but by and large his habit of knitting things for other people stems from the fact that if he made everything for himself he’d have probably filled his entire apartment with knitted things by now than any real fondness for the gift giving or receiving process

Words of affirmation-- by and large, he thinks that words are cheap. Ironic, because he was an English major, but still

Aaron:

Gifts-- Aaron loves getting gifts. Aaron loves giving gifts. Aaron will spend money he doesn’t have to get people gifts because gifts are important

Words of affirmation-- he’s not really confident enough for you to be able to just let him read between the lines and make a judgement himself, and thrives at praise and clear verbal communication. Will tell you exactly how he feels and how fond he is of you at the drop of a hat

Touch-- physical affection is nice. Not his favorite but not bad by any meansit’s

Acts of service-- yes, okay, people doing things for you is nice and all, but people go and do things or give money to charity for the warm fuzzy feelings while not giving a single flying fuck about the people who are really impacted by it, it’s not really a surefire sign that they like you

Quality time-- like, yes, it’s nice spending time with people but it doesn’t really vibe with him as an affection source. Like you could spend every day hanging out with him and he’ll still be like “but do they like me?”

Forest (I went with young Forest here-- I’m still getting to know older Forest a bit):

Quality time-- I once read a theory that your love languages are defined by what you lacked in your youth. This is very true in this instance. You can instantly tell who Forest gravitates towards by looking at who leaves with him at parties

Touch-- grant it, touch is just a Bigger Thing culturally in the magical realm (given that physical contact between some kinds of magical entities would be physically painful for one or both parties), so maybe that disqualifies this, but yeah touching is a very major thing

Words of affirmation-- he loves to verbally flirt and be flirted with, but aside from that very specific scenario he doesn’t really care all that much 

Acts of service-- acts of service and gifts are probably about the same, but you could kind of classify Winter catching his attention by sparing his life an act of service, and then they fall in love, so I’m putting this one at #4. The bastard is in a laughably wealthy ruling class, he just expects people to do things for him, so that’s not a big deal to him (although actually doing something for someone else kinda is)

Gifts-- again, rich and politics Grant it you could call some of those gifts bribes but that’s an ugly word, don’t you think?

Winter:

Acts of service-- the need to look after and help people he cares about if they ever need it is literally what’s kept him alive, and putting it anything other than first would be a disservice. And he takes on so much that any effort made to make his life easier means the world to him

Quality time-- why do you think he never just forged Candace legal documentation and sent her to normal school or daycare? Why do you think he’s so prone to be lonely? He needs time with people

Gifts-- he loves receiving gifts in particular. They’re something to remember people by once they’re gone and parting with them would be terrible for him. But he gives gifts, too. They’re less often physical objects and more often advice or stories, although that changes with Candace as he gets old because he knows he likes having physical things to remember people by so maybe it’ll help her, too

Words of affirmation-- he still appreciates them, don’t misunderstand. And he doesn’t skimp out on telling his kids he loves them. It’s just not his favorite way to receive or show affection

Touch-- again, Magical Realm’s touching is a much less casual of a thing and it’s not really as needed as it is with humans. Between that and his lack of body heat being unnerving to a lot of humans that aren’t used to it, he just... didn’t, really. At all. Like touch was for sex and otherwise he kept little to no physical contact. It’s a big regret he has raising his earlier kids, because he just didn’t know that humans are so innately touchy feely. He probably raised at least one touch starved human on accident (he also adopted a hugging schedule later when he realized “oh shit I’ve fucked up” until he got used to casual contact)

Candace:

Quality time-- if you like someone, you spend time with them? It just makes sense to her (although that doesn't make her immune to the classic "Daaaad leave me alone" complaints)

Acts of service-- you care about someone, you look out for them. Winter’s taught her that very well

Words of affirmation-- she doesn’t need it constantly, but if she does something she’s really proud of she craves validation for it, and will go around showing everyone her new sword that she figured out how to make shoot lightning until someone’s like “wow nice work”

Touch-- she’s not very into casual touching, but if you become a level 5 or above friend you unlock the Cuddle Feature and that is nigh unstoppable once it starts, she’s like a goddamn cat

Gifts-- she’s a dichotomy of loving to give gifts and not really enjoying getting them because she herself isn’t very materialistic (unless you’re giving her swords. Or daggers. Or shields. Or, uh, old school style weapons in general).

Tiffany:

Quality time-- I hesitate to use the word “clingy,” but, uh. There is a definite “pay ATTENTION TO ME” bit of her personality if you leave her on her lonesome for too long

Touch-- Tiff is just a cuddlebug. There isn’t much of another way to describe it. Fortunately her and Candace have been over level 5 friends since they were both knee high to a toadstool

Gifts-- if you give her something, she’ll cherish it forever, and she loves to find things for her friends to give them (even if most of the time it’s cool rocks from the bottom of whatever body of water she’s currently living on with Amadeus)

Acts of service-- she doesn’t think much of it if she does something for somebody else because that’s just how she was raised, but if someone helps her out? She’ll remember it forever

Words of affirmation-- like, okay it’s nice to be verbally appreciated but she doesn’t need it

Gretchen

Quality time-- time is growing less important to her the longer she lives-- immortality can have that effect on people sometimes-- but time simply spent together is still something she heavily gravitates towards

Words of affirmation-- there are few words she loves better than “I’m proud of you” or “good job.” Loves that sweet validation

Acts of service-- she’s very devoted once she grows attached to someone, although sometimes she thinks she knows best when she really doesn’t

Touch-- touching is,, fine. Not great, but it’s okay

Gifts-- she’s immortal. What need does she have for trinkets?

Amadeus

Gifts-- do you think that them not charging Winter for an ounce of booze he’s drank for centuries is an accident? It’s not. They know it’s not really in his best interest, but they can’t bring themselves to deny him a way out of his own mind for a while

Acts of service-- this primarily surfaces in a sort of hovering/annoying parent sort of way. They’ll fuss over anyone

Words of affirmation-- words aren’t as good as something tangible, but still nice. Amadeus has a tendency to be almost transactional in their relationships. They do things for Friend, Friend does things for them. That’s what friendship is 

Touch-- eh, it’s fine but they don’t get the hype. Probably because they’re living water

Quality time-- ironic, I know, but they can almost be absent, some of the time. They’d rather do things FOR you than just spend time with you without a purpose

#asks #from ask game #friend tag #Winter (oc) #Forest (oc) #Jasper Rift #Friday Milewski #Aaron the delivery guy #Hiroki Sato #Gretchen (oc) #Amadeus (oc) #Tiffany Waters #Candace Frost #also i'm so sorry this took so long jkslfjsklfjsklfjsd

[gothsic]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

My muse is:   canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless /

Is your character popular in the fandom?  YES / NO. in his own head maybe

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. lol what fandom does jo have a fandom here???

Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. ???

Are they underrated?  YES / NO. / IDK. jo thinks he’s underrated does that count??

Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO.

Were they relevant for the main character?  YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG.

Are they widely known in their world?  YES / NO.

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL.

How strictly do you follow canon?  — Jo is the master of his own story so yeah. I’m following my own canon and whatever I come up with to a T ( unless some good suggestions in writer’s workshops or even here come up! ). He is the main character of my limited series pilot that I hope to write soon called The Insomnia Trap.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.  —  Jonathan has many sides to him. The child of mixed Latinx parents and the youngest of three kids, he has had a relatively normal life ( save for early childhood, when he killed his mother by “accident” - should’ve mentioned that! ) and his very long goth phase in middle/high school, but always deemed himself to be on the outskirts of society. Because he was aware from a young age that he was simultaneously unwanted and unplanned, Jonathan came out of his upbringing with the idea that he never should have existed. This planted in him a very nihilistic, misandrist, and generally flippant view of the world despite pursuing his dream to work in comics and cartoons. Though he was hungry for recognition and dreamed of a world not on Earth, he often found himself to be a ghost wandering the streets of town, looking in on the people having fun in their homes without understanding why they were happy. His insomnia developed when he in his teens, though he still had trouble sleeping as a child after seeing his mother’s mangled corpse at the bottom of the stairs - his doing, of course. Whether he lives with the guilt or not is up to you to decide; it’s my personal feeling that there is a part of him, the human part of him, that feels horrible about what he did. He feels monstrous for it, in fact. This is part of the reason why, if he gets extremely close to someone, he warns them that he’s not a good person; the shred of good left in him. But he also feels his “metamorphosis” into the nihilist that he is today was inevitable, given that he was never supposed to exist in the first place. It should be mentioned, of course, that this nasty cocktail of things has not only stressed his insomnia, but he eventually was pushed into going to a sleep clinic to get to the bottom of his problems once and for all. He only encountered an extremely traumatic lucid dream that forced him to confront his past head-on. He was unable to save his rotting humanity ( D., a small girl that looked like his character Deirdre ), and was eaten alive by The Other, a creature that looked like a younger version of himself and eventually absorbed him into itself. He awoke, now in what can only be described as a constant lucid dream in waking life. He encounters monsters and hallucinations from his dreamspace frequently, and will sometimes see D.’s forest crop up in his backyard. To this day, he still believes D. is alive and well - and, of course, that the object of his obsession, the one person who ever understood him in his point of view, Annie Kaye, is going to one day return to him as he’s always dreamed. Sadly, she could want nothing less to do with his sorry ass.

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).  —   Around the time that The Insomnia Trap was simply going to be a screenplay, I workshopped it every few weeks in my senior Screenwriting class in undergraduate school. The overwhelming response I got was that Jonathan was abhorrent, creepy, and the question a lot of people had was why we were following him versus Adri, his ex girlfriend who was documenting his struggles with insomnia. My only answer to this is that is the point - you aren’t supposed to necessarily like him, I instead invite you to understand why he does the things he does. I’m asking you to do something you don’t like, something that makes you uncomfortable, maybe. I don’t believe entertainment in any capacity should be forced to be all about how “great” a person someone is. He’s a horrible person you can observe at a safe distance, and pick apart - a real puzzle who has his nasty qualities and his strangely good qualities mixed into one. I’m not asking you to forgive him, either. I’m asking you to see him for what he is and judge him for yourself. Jonathan is a gigantic mess of things - he’s deeply traumatized, but has chosen to live a life where he’s given in to his narcissism and self-importance, and he’s deeply hurt many people in his life - the most obvious being Annie, whom he feels he “deserves” after suffering so much in his life ( sure... ). He is in many ways a deeply unlikable character, and I wrote him keeping this in mind. That said, he has his better qualities, though they’re few and far between, that I think can keep him human in the eyes of the audience ( his love of animals, guilt towards his mother’s death, his intense self hatred, his genuine love for his nieces and nephews and for children in general, etc. ). Since he’s the protagonist of The Insomnia Trap, I can only hope that he is a complex and interesting enough character to follow for audiences if/when the limited series gets picked up!

What inspired you to rp your muse?  — Jonathan is based off of a very long personal experience I had, and I’ve always been fascinated by intense psychological horror. The two things came together, at first, when I was 12 and simply evolved from there. Originally, the project was going to be an animated flash movie that was divided into parts - but that of course never happened, I was too young and too impatient to ever do that. Over time, I ended up focusing Jonathan’s character, and he first appeared in high school - sophomore year, actually, in a different context. He’s been in development for a very long time, in other words, and I grew fascinated with a variety of different concepts over the years that got incorporated into his story ( doppelgangers, lucid dreaming, revenge, obsession, tragic protagonists, etc. )! He is one of the most intimate characters I’ve ever created, and I love him to death.

What keeps your inspiration going?  —  Music is a big one, there are specific songs I want to get the rights to use in the project if it ever gets made, and that really helps keep me focused on this blog and develop Jonathan further. Also, threading with my fellow muns and seeing how Jo evolves over time. What’s he capable of? Can he change? Is he capable of change, or is he afraid of it? These are questions that are asked with each character he interacts with, and I sincerely live for it. Also, drawing helps me out a lot too - maybe you’ll see The Insomnia Trap in webcomic form soon... just a thought!

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO / no idea honestly lmao

Do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO / depends!

Do you sometimes write drabbles?  YES - I also draw them! / NO, I HATE DRABBLES.

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES! / NO.

Are you confident in your portrayal?   YES / NO / sorta

Are you confident in your writing?  YES / HAHA NO.

Are you a sensitive person?  YES / NO. / though i can handle critique, film school definitely hardens you to that!

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?  —  I do. I’ve been explicitly told Jonathan is disgusting and totally unlikable by people to my face, and I have made leaps and strides to prevent my portrayal from going completely in the “this person is deplorable” category that was tempting to head towards. It’s easy to explore someone’s bad side rather than explore their good side, which I can forget about with him. That said, critique really does help me develop my writing further, and I desperately need it even if it can be hard to hear sometimes!

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?  —  I love questions. If people ask me questions, I do my best to answer no matter what they may be. They can be challenging sometimes, but that’s what makes it so fun!

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?  —  Sure, I’m happy to hear what people have to say. I may not agree with it, but hearing different perspectives is so important in my point of view.

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?  —  As well as I could. It can be frustrating, but everyone’s tastes are different, so I don’t really take it personally and move on. I’m really here to do what I want to do in the end, as the rest of us are, so I try to prioritize that over any negative feelings I might have.

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?  —  Again, I just let it be. I’m used to people not really understanding Jonathan or not caring for him while understanding him, and that’s fine! Everyone has their preferences for what they like in leading characters or just characters in general. He is a triggering character with very triggering themes, and I’m writing him from a very prolonged experience I had ( and it’s very cathartic ) so I can understand why people may not want to engage with him or with me. I’m perfectly fine with it and invite people to put themselves first, and I move on like I mentioned in the above question.

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?  —  Yes! Please go for it. I literally do not proof my replies before I post them half the time so feel free to let me know if I misuse words or put commas/colons/semicolons or whatever out of place.

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?   — I think so! I try to be open and inviting to everyone I speak to here, and always encourage people to come talk to me if they’d like to. No pressure though! Roleplay is for fun, and it shouldn’t be anxiety inducing or any kind of work - do things at your own pace here, that’s what I say ( though I’m trying to follow my own advice! ).

That’s about it, congrats for filling out!

Tagged by:  @forseenclade !!. thank you flower... luv Tagging: whomstever wants to !! feel free to tag me so i can see !!

#DRAWN SO FAST I FORGOT I HAD IT IN MY SKETCHBOOK. - DASH MEMES. #( hopefully it makes some sense............................... any of this LOL ) #( i went kinda wild on some of these )

[uwuboyfs]

So I've already said in a post forever ago that I think the line "Who you think that you know" in Michael in the Bathroom is not only directed at the general population of the high school but also more pointedly at Jeremy, and also a post about how the boys hide their insecurities from each other. However, since then, Loser Geek Whatever has come out and it's summer so I have time to sit down and actually think about things a little more.

Like in Michael does in Michael in the Bathroom, Jeremy lists out names/personal qualities that he has been called or identifies with. And while I posted this thing (also forever ago) about who said the "'please don't speak'" line, I want to focus more on the earlier parts of that stanza (weirdo, wuss, analog, etc). We know pre-Squip that Jeremy (and Michael) are called losers and freaks, but I highly doubt anyone who bullied them pre-Squip would have used the language "underdog" or "old-school" to describe Jeremy.

But you know who I do see using that kind of language, trying to be helpful and uplift Jeremy?

Michael.

Michael tries to encourage Jeremy to not worry about what others call him, or to use it to his advantage. To "own it". Michael sees them as an underdog-against-the-world pair. And, much like during the scene in the cafeteria in More Than Survive, Michael would try to say it in as much of a lighthearted and well-meaning way as possible. And just... Missing the mark.

I will give the fact that "analog" itself might be a word placed there subconsciously by the Squip, but "old-school" is entirely Michael's words or a branch of how the Squip has made Jeremy himself view his friendship with Michael. Literally realizing Michael's fear of "being replaced with a newer, cooler version of me".

Michael himself is the "old-school" (ie: vintage) that Jeremy is trying to distance himself from, which is exactly what the Squip wants and needs in order to solidify its power over Jeremy.

This is also seen when Michael refers to Jeremy as his "player two", which, again, Michael uses in the most positive light but affect Jeremy in the most negative way possible ("Sometimes I'm tired of always being her..." "Player two..." "I just want someone to see me first").

(Just want to put a disclaimer here that Michael was not a bad friend in not noticing how these things affected Jeremy. Michael saw only what Jeremy wanted him to, much like how Michael couldn’t make Jeremy talk about his mom leaving during the full scene for Two Player Game.) 

#be more chill #bmc #jeremy heere #michael mell #boyf riends #mod m #its 6 am and i havent slept at all yeet #the idea for this has also been sitting in the drafts for at least a month #might rb and add more to it later but like also yall probably dont wanna read an essay #however hmu if you do and i can write it bc i have a lot of thoughts

[shyeehaw]

Can you write some headcanons about Sean, Arthur and Kieran having a suicidal and depressed s/o, who mainly thinks he/she doesn't deserve to be loved and he/she doesn't has any hope left. It's just a big secret because he/she hid it very well and no one ever thought they think of themself that way, but the boys somehow manage to find out and keep it a secret from the whole gang. Maybe the boy's reactions and how they deal with it, what they feel about it and how they help their s/o to feel loved

Hey friend! Sorry this took so long! I wanted to approach carefully and write it in a way that didn’t trigger people

TW: depression.

Arthur

By the way you smiled and carried yourself around others, it was almost impossible to tell.

Almost. But Arthur knew you too well.

It was the little details that gave it away. The way you always seemed so tired after being around others, your ever-growing dark circles from sleepless nights.

His first instinct was to get worried and protective of you, trying to find the reason why you felt like that.

But by learning there wasn’t a particular reason, that your sadness came from within, Arthur tried to think of ways to be there for you.

There are those moments, late at night, that you feel you can confide in him, detail all the guilt and sadness that go through your mind.

You’ve never dared to do so before, worrying that you would scare him away.

But Arthur gently reminded you that he loved you for you, and he would be there even at your worst times.

He will listen patiently as you describe the hole that’s forming inside you, fear growing inside him with each harsh word.

Even if it pains him to hear you say those things, he is glad that you share it with him.

“No one should be alone with those thoughts, Y/N. I’m here for you.”

Those talks happen when everyone else is asleep and there’s just the two of you. He knows you want to keep it away from others.

Arthur will never grow tired of saying how much you mean to him, and how you make his world a better place just by being in it.

He talks about the future you two will share with such hope, and his certainty almost gets you believing in it too.

If you are being difficult to be around he will remind you  (and himself) that are many other things about you, and how much he loved each one of them.

Has skipped some jobs when you were having a crisis, and would do it again. You are his priority.

You can yell at him if you want, but Arthur will be the voice of reason if you are doing reckless, dangerous things.

He rathers hear you yell and be mad than to lose you. He lost too much already, been too passive. Not this time.

Your angry outbursts won’t scare him away, he dealt with worse. Besides, he would get that it’s not you but the depression talking.

He won’t make you feel guilty about being bad or how your depression may affect him. Arthur simply wants to see you getting better.

But he knows it’s not that easy, it’s not something that you two can “fix”.

If you get frustrated for not being well soon enough, he will remind you it’s not something you get better overnight. Each time you show signs of progress, he will point them out. He knows how it is to have a distorted perspective about your own self.

In your darkest days, Arthur will be by your side.

Kieran

Kieran is usually observant, even more with someone who he cares about, so he notices the changes in your behavior.

He may not approach it directly, afraid to bother you by pointing it out, but he will subtly drop hints about it.

It makes him nervous to bring this up, unsure about how you will react.

“You can talk to me, Y/N. Tell me anything you want... I, I just care for you.”

You feel bad for telling him, he already got so much on his plate.

But you can tell by the way he looks at you that you did the right thing.

People tend to underestimate him, and you trusting him enough to share this, it’s a big deal.

His eyes are glued to you, trying to understand how could you ever have such bad opinions about the one person he loves so deeply.

It scares him out of his mind how reckless you get with your life, how you can’t stop drinking or putting yourself into dangerous situations.

You never have seen him so assertive, but he asks you to stop. Kieran is not a selfish person, at all, but he can’t stand the thought of losing you.

Seeing you like that breaks his heart in two, so he won’t spare efforts to be there for you.

If he already cherished you before, now he doubles his care.

Little surprises to make your day better are constant.

He will bring you flowers, or just sneak away from his duties a moment or so to check on you.

Kieran is a great listener, and will pay attention if you feel like talking.

If not, he will gladly keep you company, trying to distract you from the dark place your mind keeps coming back to.

Tears are the least of his worries, if you are crying at least he can be there for you, hold your hand, pepper you with kisses.

It’s the apathy that creeps up around you that scares him, when you go to a place he can’t seem to help you out of.

Kieran is a devoted boyfriend, even if you are not eating, he will still bring you food. Even you if you are not complaining of cold he will put a blanket around you.

He just wishes that once you get better you’ll see everything that awaits you.

On the not-so-bad days, he will invite you to ride Branwen with him. In the hopes that the change of scenery does you any good.

He might think too little of his help, that it probably won’t help that much, but it does!

You are painfully aware that he won’t heal your depression away, but just by having such a supportive and caring boyfriend by your side, things get easier.

Sean

He was the one used to insomnia, so once Sean notices you spend the nights beside him, wide awake, he started wondering what was wrong.

You no longer laugh at his jokes or anything at all. It’s been days since he has seen your smile, and that saddens him.

Even being around him gets harder, Sean is always so fun and positive, you can’t help but think your negative energy would bring him down.

So, if you grow apart he will start wondering what he did wrong. Coming up with ways to apologize, even if he doesn’t know about what.

With a bouquet of trampled flowers (the only ones he could find near camp), he would hold in an embrace before you could avoid him.

“I know they don’t look that good, Y/N. But if yer mad at me I want to apologize. I mean I don’t know what I did but-“

That gesture got you out of your haze just to notice how bad it was hiding that huge issue from him.

Even if he didn’t know what it was about, blaming himself, he was there for you.

The thought made tears well up in your eyes, you didn’t deserve to be with someone so good.

But once you told that to him, Sean went on and on about how you made him the happiest man on earth.

It was very emotional, and once he wrapped his mind around the depths of your sadness, he got a bit scared.

The thought that nothing he could say would change how you perceived yourself made him feel powerless.

Words and jokes were usually his way to go, but he notices those don’t work anymore, so Sean will try to reach you by being extra cuddly.

Depression naps? They turn into regular naps with his company.

He will be the big spoon, playing with your hair until you fall asleep on his arms.

Sean still is playful, kissing the nape of your neck, trying to give you shivers.

But he also tries to notice if you are in the mood, and if you are not, is fine by him.

He had a bit of trouble speaking less and hearing more, but for you, he manages to do so.

Sometimes it gets ugly, get’s really bad. But it’s worth it, under that spell is the person who he loves, and he still can see them.

He will compliment endlessly, don’t worry, to each bad thing you say about yourself he will be listing qualities that you forgot about.

Sean might always seem cheerful, but he likes to remind you that it’s alright to not feel well, he doesn’t pressure you into getting better.

He’s not famous for being patient, but for you, he learned to be.

#sean macguire #sean macguire headcanons #sean macguire x reader #sean x reader #arthur morgan x reader #arthur x reader #arthur morgan #Kieran Duffy #kieran duffy x reader #kieran x reader #arthur morgan headcanons #rdr2 #rdr2 headcanons #rdr2 x reader

[kaizerssaucywritings]

Through the looking Glass

Voltron based Fanfiction. 

Original post: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24712486

Lance sighed as he finished staring at his textbook for the longest time without remembering a word of the text he was trying to read. Letting his hand flop onto the bed below him, book abandoned with it and lay staring up at the ceiling listlessly.

He had been told by his mother over and over to "find a hobby" to stop him from complaining about the move they had made recently... that he would "make friends" with the new school. But that didn't stop Lance from hesitating. He didn't want to make new friends he wanted to be with his friends Lance had back in Cuba, the ones he didn't have to struggle so much to communicate with.

Okay...maybe struggle wasn't the right word. After all, Lance and his siblings had been taught how to speak English from a very young age. And his mother and father had gotten them, tutors, when they had found out that his father was being transferred to a different office. Despite Lance's understanding of the basics of English, it was almost as if people here in this city spoke another entirely different language than English. They used all sorts of slang that Lance didn't know.

Still, with being the middle child, Lance knew he wasn't really allowed to complain or make a ruckus... Lance had to be an excellent example for his sister and brother and help his elder siblings settle with their families here. Lance had plenty to keep him busy...but maybe his mother was right... Lance needed a hobby or something to keep him engaged when he wasn't failing at making friends at school... that was when his eyes locked on his laptop.

It was brand new, and it was one of the few things that Lance had gotten in recent years that wasn't a hand me down from his older siblings. His father had known that Lance was not excited about the move and that having a way to communicate with his old friends might help the brown-haired teen. With this in mind, he had splurged on getting him the newest model of laptop for him. Honestly save for the sporadic emails sent out now, and then it had gone until recently mostly neglected.

Getting up, Lanced headed over to his desk and booted the computer up and signed into his email. He had been emailing his friends now and then since the move. Still, often he found that they were asleep or away when he was on because of the time difference, which was a disappointment to Lance. Still, Lance got a laugh out of the emails and even got sent a few links to a site called Utube. It wasn't anything exciting outside of the funny cat videos and derp vids his friends sent him as it was still relatively new.

That was when he noticed another section of the site seemed to be used for people making online blogs about their days and their lives. Hey, that would be a neat way to keep his friends updated with his life without the struggle of typing everything outright?

It took him a few hours of doing some quick research online to find out how the site itself worked and how people did this whole "online video blog." Fiddling with the computer, Lance tried to figure out how to use his web camera and the site to figure out how to create a channel. He made his first, not so put together vlog about the move and how things were for him and uploaded it.

Sending his friends the link and then signing out. Going back to his homework, finally able to be even somewhat productive. After this, he spent the evening playing charades with his younger siblings to keep them amused. At the same time, their parents had a rare moment out to themselves.

What he had not been expecting the next time he logged into his computer was a wave of emails from Utube. All of them informing him that he had new subscribers and comments on his video. Okay, so yes, he had expected a few, but there were far more than he had been anticipating.

Logging into the site to see what was going on, he rose a brow as he saw that the site's natural notification system was showing at least 20+ new notifications. Scrolling his mouse over it only to see that there was a splattering of new followers and comments, he clicked in to see what was left for him.

There were the expected grins as he read posts that were so blatantly from people from back home, with their inside jokes and their playful barbs that made him laugh out loud. However, there were also a few smaller comments from other people; he had no idea who the user names were from. Nothing negative, really. Just a few comments about how his story was so relatable. He had told them about how he had made an attempt to create a funny joke in class and had failed miserably as Lance had misunderstood the context of a word he was using. He attempted to make a fast retreat and ended up tripping over his own feet and falling on his face.

To his surprise, the comments were even supportive, wishing that he was okay and thanking him for a laugh. There was a small jostle of joy in Lance's chest, reading one of the comments. It described how they had gone to their first day in a new school and ended up feeling that they had failed their own introductions to the class and were horrified. But that hearing about his personal issues had made her smile and not feel so alone!

The excitement that the idea brought Lance was intoxicating, and he knew that he would love to make more videos if he could help others in the same way! Scratching his head, he thought about what he could do to make others feel the same way he had helped this one person...

~~~~

After hours of writing on his computer, Lance sat back to crack his knuckles with a pleased grin. Having spent a little while doing research on how to make good Vlogs, they had all said the same thing. Keep to a few related topics, be organized in what you want to say, and don't be afraid to be completely genuine.

He knew he could easily follow the first and last point, but Lance was known to run off on tangents when he spoke. The only thing Lance could think of to do was to create lists of what he wanted to talk about. This had evolved into him, writing a few stories about things he wanted to share with people. Lance had happily turned out about five or six short stories of goofy things that had happened to him over the last little while. Sometimes using the emails, Lance had sent his friends as a reference and otherwise just drawing from the plethora of situations Lance often found himself in. Lance was a bit of a klutz, and it also seemed like he had the worst of luck when it came to things happening to him.

Armed with these anecdotes and the motivation to begin filming, Lance practically jumped out of bed the next day. He asked his mother if he could borrow their camera - a small handheld camera that they used for family events and when participating in school events like plays and the like. She was obviously surprised, making a comment about why he couldn't just use the camera that came with his own computer. Lance didn't even try and explain that the quality of a camera was often considered by far better than the one built into a laptop.

From that one impulse and desire to give others the comfort of showing that they were not alone, no matter what they were going through, Lance began to make videos. He had read that a consistent upload schedule was necessary, and more importantly, he wanted to share more. And by the end of the day, he had enough previously recorded videos to have two uploads during the next three weeks.

What had been a way to keep in touch with his friends soon became something else altogether. Because although Lance's friends all commented on his video and gave his other classmates the links and shares. It seemed some other people on the site had just stumbled on his video and decided to leave him comments as well.

He had, of course, been incredibly polite and replied to their messages. When things began to move far more rapidly than Lance could ever have expected. Within a few weeks, his channel had blown up to almost five hundred incredibly active and responsive users. When Lance woke up the morning to find the five hundred subscriber notification, he actually found himself staring at the computer screen in stunned silence. It was utterly unbelievable that so many people had come to enjoy his weekly posts and were even asking for more content.

From then on, he had started making daily videos, and things had even evolved from there.

#voltron #Voltron fanfiction #Voltron fanworks #Voltron Keith #Voltron Shiro #Voltron lance #lance mcclain #VLD Shiro #VLD Keith #VLD Lance

[questionsonislam]

What are the exclusive qualities (hasais) of our Prophet, Hazrat Muhammad (pbuh)?

The word “hasais” is the plural form of the word “hassiyyat” which stems from the root “hass” that means “attributing superiority to someone or to something because of a characteristic that is exclusive only to that person or to that thing.” In this sense, “hasais” means “virtues and superior qualities.” (Lisanu’l Arab, “hss” ). There are many proofs of the Prophet’s exclusive qualities in Quran and Sunnah. Especially, the half of the chapter al-Ahzab narrates these qualities exclusive to the Honorable Messenger (pbuh) (al-Ahzab, 28-59). The statement “And as for the night keep awake a part of it an additional prayer for thee: soon will thy Lord raise thee to a Station of Praise and Glory!” (al-Isra, 79) also points out to it. It is seen in hadiths that some practices of the Prophet are just exclusive to him. For instance, while he was listing the prohibited acts in the Harem area of Mecca, he stated that only he was permitted for these acts for a short time by Allah only on the day of conquest and then Harem was given its former status after that. (Bukhari, Knowledge, 37). Ibn Hajar, while explaining the judgments deduced from this hadith, recorded that this act was one of the Prophet’s exclusive qualities and that this hadith proved that the Prophet had some concessions only exclusive to him. (Fethu’l Bari, I, 199).

Authors of hasais generally evaluated divine judgments and gifts which are only exclusive to the Prophet in four categories as fards, harams, mubahs and superiorities which are endowed upon him only.

Fards which are exclusive to the Prophet only are as follows:

Mid-morning prayer, vitr prayer and tahajjud prayer, sacrificing (al-adha), using miswaq, negotiating with mild peope, fighting against enemy even though they may be superior in number, paying the debts of Muslims who die before they pay their debts back, not leaving a nawafil prayer before it is finished, abolishing negativity in the most convenient way. There are, although recommended for all Muslims as well, were fards exclusively for the Honorable Messenger only.

The matters which are haram exclusively for the Prophet are as follows:

Accepting alms, avoiding fight in war although it is compulsory to fight, being eager for worldly materials, (al-Hijr, 88), ordering that a criminal be punished secretly without his crime has been proved and declared and overestimating his favor and boasting about it. (Muddassir, 6). Although being eager for worldly materials and boasting about a favor are not favorable also for all Muslims, these are prohibited as harams exclusively for the Prophet in Quran.

Some mubahs (neither enjoined nor prohibited) which are exclusive for the Prophet are as follows:

Fasting for a few days following each other, without giving a break to fast (sawm-i wisal), taking whatever he likes from the captured properties before they are shared, using one fifth of captured properties and taxes taken from non-Muslims as he likes (al-Anfal, 41, al-Hashr, 7), entering Mecca without ihram, not bequeathing his property to any of his inheritors after his death, deciding (judging) in cases which are related to himself and his children according to a widely accepted view (actually, as prophets are innocent and pure, they can not be thought to take sides), his ablution is not invalidated by sleep.

Some other mubahs exclusive to the Prophet are related to marriage. Marrying more that four women, marrying a woman who dedicated herself to the Messenger of Allah, without giving her mahr (see al-Ahzab, 50), and marrying while in the state of ihram are amongst concessions exclusive to him. According to those who interpret the verse (al-Azhab, 51), which allows him to take anyone of his wives whom he likes to his side, as he can visit them one by one in turns, the Honorable Prophet is rightful to spend more time with anyone of his wives whom he prefers more than others. Notwithstanding, the Prophet treated all his wives equally during his life. The reason why some matters have been made mubah exclusively to the Prophet only is to show how widely authorized he was by Allah and to point out to that these mubahs did not prevent the Prophet from obeying and worshipping, unlike it would prevent other people.

Superiorities endowed upon the Prophet:

Some of the works written on superiorities endowed upon the Prophet and which are so many in number that can constitute a literature of “virtues of the Prophet” discuss the superiority of the Messenger over other prophets and some of them discuss his superiority over other human beings, the jinn, angels and all other beings. Authors primarily put forward proofs deduced from the verses in order to prove the superiorities of the Prophet. It has been deduced from the verses which stated that some prophets were made superior to others and they were elevated as stated in Quran (al-Baqarah, 253; al-Isra, 55) that prophets have got different degrees in the eyes of Allah. And from the verses stating that the Messenger of Allah was sent down as mercy for all realms (Anbiya, 107) and that Allah would not send his wrath over his tribe as long as he lived amongst them (al-Anfal, 33), it was deduced that he was superior to all other prophets.

There are many verses that point out to the Prophet’s virtues in Quran:

Al-i Imran, 81: “Behold! God took the covenant of the prophets, saying: "I give you a Book and Wisdom; then comes to you an apostle, confirming what is with you; do ye believe in him and render him help." God said: "Do ye agree, and take this my Covenant as binding on you?" They said: "We agree." He said: "Then bear witness, and I am with you among the witnesses.”

Al-Hujurat, 2: “O ye who believe! Raise not your voices above the voice of the Prophet.”

In addition to these, although Allah addressed to other prophets by their names (al-Baqara, 35; al-Maidah, 110; Hud, 32, Maryam, 12) He addressed to the Prophet Mohammad as “O Prophet” (al-Anfal, 64; al-Ahzab, 33/1) or as “O Messenger” (al-Maidah, 67; at-Talaq, 1). Moreover, it is sworn only on the Prophet Muhammad’s life in Quran (al-Hijr, 72) and the companions were not allowed to call the Prophet by his name (al-Nur, 63). All of these verses indicated his virtuousness. The fact that the Prophet Muhammad was sent to all humankind as prophet although other prophets were sent only to their own people (al-Araf, 158; Anbiya, 107; Saba, 28) proves that he is more virtuous that other prophets. Almost all ahl-i sunnah scholars agree that the Prophet is superior to all angels. (see Nebhani, al-Fezailu’l-Muhammadiyya, p.68-70).

Although almost all verses which are related to the Prophet was taken into consideration in works written on the virtues of the Prophet, it is hard to tell that all these verses over 100 which were considered to be related to the topic are actually on the superiority of The Prophet. However, the fact that it is prohibited to give him hardships, it is ordered that people send salat-u salam to him, it is stated that he was sent as a supervisor, harbinger and warning to people and it is stated how he should treat his followers and how followers should treat him in those verse can be seen as indicators of his superiority. (For these verses see Nebhani, p.45-73).

The fact that the Prophet’s qualities are mentioned in former holy books and “people of the book culture” formed around them is another proof of his superiority. It is possible to see what these qualities are in narrations by companions from the Muslim amongst people of the book. They describe the Honorable Messenger as someone who does not act rudely and harshly, who does not speak aloud or shout out in public places; who does not respond to negativity by negativity and who is forgiving and a servant who has submitted himself to Allah. (see Ahmad Hijazi as-Sakka, Cairo, 1977).

It is possible to divide hadiths related to the Prophet’s superiorities into two categories as the ones related to worldly superiorities and the ones related to otherworldly superiorities.

The ones related to his worldly superiorities are not many. The most well-known of them is the one that says he was given five qualities which had not been given to former prophets. (Bukhari, Tayammum 3, Salat 56; Muslim, Masajid 3). Accordingly, Prophet Muhammad was given the power of placing fear in enemy’s hearts from a distance of one month. Earth was made a place of worship, clean and means of cleanliness for him. Captured properties were made halal to him. Although all other prophets were sent only to their own peoples, he was sent to all humankind and he was given the right of intercession. According to another narration, it is stated that he was given the gift of telling so many things with few words (jawamiu’l kelim) (gnomic and concession) and that the keys to the treasures of the world were brought and put in front of him in his dreams. Another worldly superiority of the Prophet is that he came from a purest and a most honorable family. The Prophet who mentioned this in various statements stated that all marriages in his lineage were lawful. (Suyuti, Hasais, I, 37). This superiority of his has continued with his descendants. When the fact that Allah wished to make the Prophet’s family all pure by purifying them from all dirtiness (al-Ahzab, 33), that the Messenger of Allah was prohibited to accept zakat and alms and yet was allowed to take one fifth of captured property (al-Anfal 41; al-Hashr 7) is taken into consideration, it is comprehended that the Prophet is at the zenith of nobility and purity. The religion of Islam which Prophet Muhammad brought to continue until the Day of Judgment is necessarily the most perfect religion. Moreover, the Messenger of Allah expressed that he was sent in order to complete the good and high moral values which all religions tried to earn people and that he was sent in order to represent this cause with his words and behaviors. (Musned, II, 381; Muwatta, Husnu’l-Hukuk, 8).

Doubtlessly, one needs to be at the zenith of high moral in order to fulfill this supreme duty. For this reason, the Messenger of Allah was adorned with the highest moral values and virtues (Kalem 4). In addition, it is stated in Quran that the Prophet is closer and merciful to believers more that their own selves, and thus than their fathers are and that the Prophet’s wives are the mothers of all Muslims. (al-Ahzab, 6, 53).

The superiorities endowed upon the Honorable Messenger in otherworldly life are many. Some companions found it astonishing that Allah took Abraham for a friend for Himself (al-Nisa, 125), that He talked to Moses in person (al-Nisa, 164), that Jesus is Allah’s words and spirit (al-Nisa, 171) and that Adam is a chosen servant in the eyes of Allah and the Prophet Muhammad said that this all is true. However, he also stated that he is the dearest for Allah, that Adam and all other prophets were going to be on a level lower than him, that he was going to bear the vexillum of gratefulness, that he was going to be the first one to intercede, that he was going to be the first one to move the knobs of the doors of heaven, that Allah was going to let him firstly in together with the poor believers and that he was the most precious of all people to came and left and to come. And after each of these sentences, he added that he had not told them in order to boast. (Darimi, Mukaddima 8; Tirmidhi, Menakib 1).

Moreover, he stated that he was going to be the first one to stand up from grave and he was going to speak in the name of everyone on that violent day when nobody could dare to speak and going to tell their problems in the Divine Presence. He also stated that he was going to intercede so that the accounting would begin when the queue in the Gathering Place would go on and on and people would be so tired; and that he was going to give the good news of that his intercession was accepted when people would be hopeless. The Prophet and his followers, being the last prophet and last believers on earth, are going to be at the front on the Day of Judgment. (Bukhari, Juma 1, 12; Muslim, Juma 19, 21). The right of intercession is an important one amongst The Messenger of Allah’s virtues related to the otherworld. The messenger of Allah, having said that each prophet has got a supplication which was accepted, stated that he saves his supplication for the Day of Judgment in order to intercede for his followers. (Muslim, Faith 335).

#Allah #god #islam #quran #muslim #revert #convert #revert islam #convert islam #reverthelp #revert help #revert help team #help #islam help #converthelp #prayer #salah #muslimah #reminder #pray #dua #hijab #religion #mohammad #new muslim #new convert #new revert #how to convert to islam #convert to islam #welcome to islam

[ghostmartyr]

Avengers: Endgame Thoughts

SPOILERS, obviously.

So I figure I’ll babble enough to keep all the genuinely spoilery content under an appropriately timed cut. Even though everything after this statement is full of expectation spoilers. The few key things that I can think about to mention are that I really appreciated the movie and enjoyed the highs and teared up aplenty.

Also that I think this is going to be a primarily negative post. Whoops.

Not because I think it’s awful. I want to emphasize that I don’t think it is awful, because I am very worried that I’m going to forget to say that.

There’s a base level of quality you can sort of expect from MCU movies, so I don’t generally feel the need to move beyond the role of passive audience member for them. Then Infinity War really impressed me, and I couldn’t wait to see how everything was going to wrap up when they really left the movie there, so my investment level piqued.

As a result, there are more thoughts than usual. About a movie I really did find to be of high quality, and probably would see again happily if planning to sit still for another three hours didn’t make me twitchy.

I liked the movie.

There are just some character decisions and plot mechanics and overall writing decisions that... really?

First thing that I don’t have much to say about but can’t rationalize having a complaint post with no mention of: Thor and Hulk.

People in charge of the movie, you had no problem including Captain Marvel when you had no earthly clue what to actually do with her. Her smile warmed my heart in every scene she graced, and while I was criminally disappointed she was not more involved, none of the material she was given made me feel like the people writing her didn’t care about her.

...

Actually, now that I think about it, this should not have just a Thor and Hulk complaint section. Like that was the idea, because I didn’t have much, because I don’t care (slightly different than the writers’ level of don’t care), but the whole...

...

Oy.

Here, once for flavor, with the knowledge that I’ll get back to it and repeatedly whine about it this whole post.

I find the fucking time skip wanting in too many ways for me to really forgive the film for.

Anyway, Thor and Hulk.

In short, no.

In less short, what are you doing.

Hulk I don’t have a serious gripe with, except my main complaint about Infinity War was how Banner (I should probably change how I name him based on which character I’m talking about, but I really just mean the entity represented by a particular actor so I can’t care that much) got used up as comedy relief. You can have comedic moments and characters. If you have transformed your character into a comedic moment, you’ve fucked up.

(See Thor in too much of this movie.)

But one of the interesting parts of Hulk’s general arc in the MCU was how Banner and Hulk were starting to negotiate for their place in their body.

Cue Endgame, cue time skip, cue completely glossing over how they make their peace with each other.

Avengers franchise, why?

I am not attached to Hulk or Banner or any of that section of the plot, honestly, but the potential of that entire element is shot and left for dead in the water. Then the floating corpse gets up and starts walking around as part of a cog of the story.

Hulk’s most interesting plot point basically happened in another movie that doesn’t now, and probably won’t ever, exist, and considering what Infinity War put the guy through as a character, my writing senses are hurt and sad all over.

Then there’s Thor.

I think he might fit into the whole thing I will soon get into about character resolutions that hit the right emotional keys solidly enough that you forget they’re playing the wrong song.

Mostly he picks up the “hole” (wrongly perceived as something that needs to be filled) left by Hulk leaving the walking gag scene party. Drinking himself into oblivion and disregarding self-care in the aftermath of an immense trauma is one of the film’s chosen humor mainstays.

My impression is that I’m the only person in my tight corner of the internet who doesn’t really like Ragnarok because its silliness felt like it was trying too hard. It’s my favorite of the Thor movies, but a bunch of the humor didn’t feel natural to me. Better than Infinity War’s handling of Hulk, and better than Endgame’s handling of Thor, just not my favorite tone.

Endgame sort of takes that element, jacks it away from its surrounding strengths, and rolls out a keg for it to drown in.

When the movie remembers to empathize with Thor instead of mocking him, there are some great moments. But he draws one of the shortest straws of the movie.

And the character resolution is...

Good fuck this is why I had to say I liked the movie. Because when I actually sit down and think about my problems with it, the rest of my brain just lounges to the side in horror, wondering what could possibly have been entertaining if such elements were included.

The very beginnings of my problems with the movie is that they kill Thanos.

I think he’s dead ten minutes in.

Then they skip five years.

Five years.

Ooooh my everything.

Okay so like, you know how you start reading something, or watching something, and your head immediately takes note that oh, this must be a dream sequence. The couple in a romance is suddenly way too hot and steamy for where the story has them in their development, a random bomb goes off, the guy who destroyed half of all life in the universe because no one can stop him in the last movie is killed in the first ten minutes of the next--

There’s like.

A rhythm. There’s a rhythm to how stories work.

When that rhythm is disrupted, the audience is left with a tangible feeling of wtf. Either that feeling enhances the other quality stuff going on, or it enhances the other Quality stuff going on, if you catch my drift.

You step into a vacuum.

It’s great for recreating that sense of absence. The world is irrevocably changed. It’s emptier. The heroes are broken. Their revenge doesn’t fix anything. They just. continue to exist, with losses they aren’t equipped to handle.

FIVE YEARS OF IT.

I have probably a longer list of things I want stories involving time travel not to do than is perhaps healthy. But maybe stories involving time travel should keep their act together better or I don’t know.

Bad Future ends are not something I appreciate, because often, they go grimdark just because they can, because they know it’s not the final future, so anything goes. You don’t have to treat it like any reality that matters, because it isn’t permanent.

This story... I would say it toes the line there, but in ways that grate on me thoroughly enough that it presses all the same buttons.

Thanos can die in the first ten minutes, and it doesn’t matter. We know it doesn’t matter, because it happens in the first ten minutes. ...Maybe twenty, to be safe. It’s early. But you have this villain who’s built up to a ridiculous degree, bizarrely succeeds in living up to his own hype, then you kill him off so that a younger version of himself gets top billing in the final battle.

Why?

I get why as far as the story is designed, but at some point in the process, this story is designed by humans. Humans who could have stopped and asked themselves if they were really telling the best version of this story they possibly could.

Thanos is defeated while his blight remains. I love saying that. I love that I can describe a story with those words.

But the initial defeat is so unsatisfying and bereft of life. All the energy of him as an external force for our heroes to unite against is bled out early, and to get it back, they really do just ship in a younger model.

Which does make sense. Younger Thanos’ motives are fine and reasonable. Just, as far as the plot design, the whole presentation of the movie’s setting feels like a dream sequence. It feels, very early on, like this will never be allowed to be forever.

Then that feeling lasts for five years.

Getting into the time travel thing.

Time travel is really hard to get right in stories. You want to change something, but the people doing the changing are products of what they’ve lived through. How do you honor that while still fixing the unspeakable evil that happened? How do you change the world while keeping the threads that made us care alive and relevant?

One thing I very much like is that Tony fights to keep what he’s gained alive. Good. The volcanic soil grew him something irreplaceable, and it’s perfectly reasonable for him to want to hold on to that, and I’m glad he does.

But then you have the other half of the story, where no one is able to move on.

My preference for time travel correcting things is for characters to either be trying to change their own future that they have yet to live through, or for them to trying to fix something that is so recent the characters are still wrangling with it as a piece of their present. I have more than a touch of “humans should not mess with these things they don’t know what they’re doing,” past a certain point.

In case it weren’t obvious, five years is pretty far past that point for me. It hits this awful uncanny valley sweet spot of people wanting to change a reality that never should have been vs. people who are willing to fuck up the world because they can’t let go.

I like superheros. I like correcting injustices. Save all the people. I like people fighting tooth and nail to fix things set in stone because these are their people, dammit.

I also hate seeing people so stuck in the past they refuse to make a future.

This movie screams both of those elements so loudly that it’s hard for me to really piece out how I feel about the story in its entirety.

I like that they don’t simply hit an undo button, and do bring everyone back in a way that lets the future that has already happened continue.

But then there’s Steve and Nat and just... fuck, dude.

Gun to my head, I’m a happy person. If everyone could be alive at the end, that would be my preference, I don’t care if it’s cheesy. But you have the choice between Hawkeye and Black Widow. The man who’s lost his family, and the woman who’s lost purpose.

Or something. I don’t do MCU meta.

The sense I get from watching is that Natasha feels like her life works better as a sacrifice. If they succeed, she doesn’t have children and a wife waiting at home. So clearly it makes sense for her to be the one to die. Her road ends to bring back the happiness of others.

Which...

I don’t know how to articulate my problem with this without moving on to Steve first.

So let’s do that.

Steve.

Steve, whose story ends with him going back in time and staying there.

Forget about how the story criticizes every movie that does time travel better than it. Forget about all the levels of not caring went into designing the time travel elements. If possible.

I do not like how Steve’s story is essentially about how there’s only one time and place for him to experience a fulfilling life.

It is the nature of writing stories that we want to encapsulate things. The perfect moment. The perfect set of emotions. The perfect time. Everything falls into place, and that’s how we want it. We’ll never get it better than that. Keep retreading that dead horse, because it was so good.

Steve and Peggy are beautiful together.

What I hate about them ending up together is that... there’s this obvious, painful belief that the world of the future doesn’t have anything left for Steve. Bucky’s there. Sam’s there. Billions of people have just found there way back. Steve’s lived in this century for years.

Reclaiming the past is more important than building a future.

Even though the story’s driving plot is about keeping their past maintained so they can have this future. Or something.

Steve doesn’t have a future. Natasha doesn’t have a future. So the story removes them from it, and calls that a clean, happy (if bittersweet) ending. They’re pieces that don’t work in this world. Their chances are gone. They can live in the past or die.

I hate that. I’m a sap who will read a million stories about someone having a single true love they can’t be without and no one else could ever compare and blah and blah and blah, but that somehow feels different from watching a character’s life play out for years, and seeing them come to the conclusion that they can never belong in this place.

Building a new home never compared to the old one.

That’s depressing as fuck.

Thor gets a piece of this as well, becoming more of a knight errant than a king. After going to so much trouble to become his people’s king and just. Geez.

I don’t think that this is a thing the movie as a whole is really trying to encourage. I think the people working on it just had different visions for what would be cool as a sendoff and so on. Tony’s insistence that they don’t undo the five years they’ve had, and Nebula’s... everything--those aren’t elements of a story that says you can’t grow and find a new place. You don’t have to keep on repeating what you know and nothing else. You really don’t.

But that feels very twisted around for some of these characters’ personal journeys, and as happy as I am for Steve getting his dance with Peggy, the idea that this is a person whose true happiness could never be in the future...

That lingers in a way that I can’t like, and colors a lot of the other resolutions.

.

.

I really enjoyed the movie?

Yay?

Even though no one cared even a little at all even once except to attempt to drag other movies about time travel.

This movie’s time travel mechanics are terrible.

They’re just bad.

When you drop the titles of that many other things that have time travel.

And say this isn’t like that.

You should. you should hope. that your thing could at least make a convincing case for making more sense.

This does not succeed in that.

How could you watch enough of those movies to know they had time travel, yet fail to learn anything about how to write time travel. How. Why did you. why. Dragon Ball Z has more internally consistent time travel.

Three hours well spent. The hours on this, maybe less well.

#Avengers #Avengers Endgame #endgame spoilers #spoilers #tl;dr

[darren-huston]

Darren Huston From the Commoner to CEO

Hello from Trent,” I say. It’s late January and, talking to a Trent alum who’s working abroad, I figure I can jog a few memories and start a conversation by adding: “It’s going to negative 16 degrees tonight. Do you recall those chilly walks across the wind-whipped Faryon Bridge?” Darren Huston ‘85 chuckles with instant recognition and replies, “It doesn’t get that cold in Tokyo. It’s five degrees celsius here.” From his office in the heart of Tokyo on a Thursday morning, the president and CEO of Microsoft Japan is showing his Canadian roots. Darren Huston, the Trent grad with an honours B.A. in economics, isn’t just comfortable talking about the weather; he’s also about as gracious and self-effacing as an all-round Canadian guy can get. And, oddly enough, he uses similar terms to describe the new culture in which he finds himself immersed. “Japan is a wonderful place and almost Canadian in many respects,” he says over the phone more than 10,000 kilometres and several time zones away. “Individuals in Japan are polite, understated, and self-critical. They see themselves as being in one boat more than in North American society. Everyone’s lives here are very symbiotic. If anyone fails, it feels like they’re failing family. As a foreigner, you can never really be a part of that.”This might seem like pretty deep talk at 9 a.m. for the North American businessman guiding the destiny of Japan’s number one brand and its 2500 employees. But there’s an easy-going quality to conversation with Darren Huston.

He’s not delivering corporate lines. He’s reflecting—intellectually, emotionally, philosophically. You feel like you’re connecting with a real person. And it becomes apparent, the more you talk with him, that Darren Huston is a uniquely intelligent individual modestly wrapped in an everyman persona. It’s very, very Trent. And he’d be the first to admit that’s true.Darren Huston became the president and CEO of Microsoft Japan in July 2005, moving to Japan with his wife Clarissa (who graduated from Trent in 1990) and their children Erinne (six) and Owen (three). Before joining Microsoft, Darren was a senior vice president at Starbucks Coffee Company where, among other things, he led the rollout of the Starbucks Card and Wi-Fi to Starbucks stores around the world. A graduate of the United World College in Trieste, Italy, he earned his Honours B.Sc. Honours in economics at Trent, his Masters in economics at UBC, and an MBA from Harvard University. Despite these remarkable accomplishments, it’s surprisingly easy for Darren to connect who he is today with his experiences at Trent University. He tracks the origins of his successful manage-rial style and the human quality he brings to the most senior levels of business back to a job he had early on at Trent University. “You know, I was manager of The Commoner (a former Trent pub). I still think that was the best job I’ve ever had,” he recalls. “I was given a lot of responsibility at a young age: running a business, leading a group of people. I got real manage-rial experience from that. It was eye-opening—very pivotal."

The job Darren landed man-aging the pub also changed his course of study. Rethinking academic and career goals is common —almost encouraged—as a part of the undergraduate experience at Trent. “I thought I’d go into politics, be a diplomat, but I gained a love for doing business,” he says. “I came out of Trent feeling proficient in economics. And, ultimately, I did my MBA at Harvard.”Comparing his university experiences, he recalls fondly, “there was a sense of community at Trent. Peterborough’s not a big city like Boston or Vancouver. Peterborough is Trent. In bars, in places every-where, you’re bumping into people you know.”Admitting that it’s difficult to call to mind the names of the many people who had an influence on him during his time at Trent (“it’s horrible that names can be so fleeting”), Darren does man-age to remember economics professor Harry Kitchen and former athletics director Paul Wilson as examples of people who were very supportive.

Hearkening back to the 80s, Trent Economics Professor Mak Arvin remembers Darren as his best student. “I wrote his letters of reference for grad school, and over the years we have kept in touch,” said Mak. “Darren wrote a letter to me in 1992 (while working at the Department of Finance in Ottawa) telling me about how he saw the differences between the world as portrayed by the academics versus the world of an economic policy maker. He also talked about a number of promotions he received at Finance within a short span—indicative of how talented he was even as a junior civil servant.”Professor Torben Drewes, the head of the Economics Department today at Trent, shared that “those of us who were around at the time have general memories of an entirely pleasant and mature student who was at the top of his class.” As for his current role, Darren shares that his goals at Microsoft include “a project called ‘Plan J’ which covers a range of investments that Microsoft will be making in Japan, innovations which it will bring to the marketplace and partnerships which it will seek out.” As if this weren’t enough, he adds; “on top of this, we hope to continue growing an already large business by double digits.”Not a bad to-do list for some-one who just turned 40 this year – a fact casually revealed where others might fear to tread. According to Darren, his age does come as a surprise to many in Japan. Most business people at the CEO level would be older than his own father. “Yeah, they’re very surprised,” he says, but is quick to add, modestly, “But because it’s such a large corporation and you’re a foreigner, they assume someone has thought this through.”

The thought shakes loose an old memory from graduation back in 1989, a story which clearly shows that Darren has made it a lifetime habit not to boast of his abilities. Back at Trent, he had won the Bagnani Medal one year and the Symons Medal at his final convocation, both for outstanding academic achievement. “I did quite well,” he says humbly, then adds with a laugh, “When my name was called out, I got up to receive the awards and I remember hearing someone behind me in the crowd say ‘Hey! Isn’t that the manager of The Commoner?” Little did that person know what valuable experience comes of studying economics and running a small business unit at a liberal arts and science university. When asked about stories that he saved a beautiful piece of stained glass from The Commoner and helped to have it installed at Blackburn Hall, he remembers it well. “Dial back in the alumni magazine ten or so years and there’s a picture of us sitting in front of it,” he says.It’s clear as we begin to wind up our interview that these memories of Trent mean a lot to Darren. And, though one might imagine that someone at the helm of a corporation of this size might want to wrap things up and get on to the next important task, Darren has a way of operating in the present. Without so much as saying so, his tone and manner reassure you that this discussion is important to him. Thoughtfully, he considers how formative years direct the person we become. “I often tell people, ‘do your undergrad at a place where you can grow academically and socially,’” he says, then reflects once again on the close connection between past, present and future. “It’s so interesting how life is a random walk. If I had it to do all over again, I wouldn’t do it any differently. I honestly wouldn’t.”

#darren huston #darrenhuston #darren-huston #darren_huston

[vivo-morior-iterum-vivo]

The 4 big questions from 5.04

Spoilers and looooong post below cut

Also I’m not the one who generated all these theories I’ve collect quite a few from various contributors such as, @agender-mess, @littlehollyleaf, @vampirebillionaire, @inappropriatefangirlneeds, @apuzzleboxandpaperbirds

My apologies in advance if I missed adding someone, and as always I love it when new people contribute to these theories!

1. Sykes is alive/dead again?

In case anyone missed the guy who got his throat slit by Jeremiah is the same guy Jim shot in the head in 5.02. Notably Sykes was alive agian in 5.04, had presumably been working for Jeremiah the whole time, so that means all the kids were technically working for him too, and there was no notable bullet wound to his head (Jim shot him right between the eyes).

So, either Gotham just jacked up its continuity majorly (and he's credited as Sykes both eps I checked to make sure it wasn't twins) or Sykes is foreshadowing that Jeremiah has access to easy resurrections. I say easy, because if it was difficult or costly why waste it bringing back Sykes.

Theory 1a: Jeremiah has Hugo Strange. This would play into Jeremiah having some possible tie-in to Ed and Lee via Hugo and would help explain why Blackout Ed might be going around blasting things with an RPG (and you better bet he's still on the suspect list for the helicopter, it would explain why he had to hide in a trashcan). What I don't like about this theory, the Hugo's resurrection process seems to be more costly, so again why waste it on Sykes.

Theory 1b: Jeremiah has gained access to one of the Lazarus pits. I know it's already been said that there's no more Lazarus Water, but perhaps that was just from the one spring. Jeremiah has clearly been digging and maybe he's found another source. Reason I like this theory, he's already had some collusion with Ra's so he might have learned about it, and Lazarus Water is a quick and easy method of resurrection so why not use it on Sykes. Plus showing off you've got magic healing water is a pretty good way to convince people to join your cult. 

Theory 1c: It has something to do with Ace Chemicals. We know they’re headed there and Sykes had a gas mask in 5.04 loaded with some sort of chemical vapes. Maybe those chemicals have resurrection abilities? I mean the vats sort of glow like Lazarus Water, but I know that’s a super weak connection.

2. What’s the “Gift”?

“It’s a nice gift for him. He’ll like it. No, he won’t. Yes, he will. C’mon, he’s going to love it.”

Some of you may be going, but wait Jeremiah is dead! Allow me to refer you back to question 1 and you can make some of your own theories about that and Ecco’s dedication to Jeremiah.

So first let’s first address the fact that Jeremiah apparently has two separate personalities now that unlike Ed’s personalities seem to be in co-control. It actually reminds me a lot of Deadpool’s two voices in his head. Not quite sure what happened their, maybe it’s just a sign of his progressing insanity.

Anyways he’s apparently getting someone (Bruce) a nice gift! I’m going to assume ‘him’ here is Bruce, I acknowledge it could be someone else, but I mean... we all know who Jeremiah is obsessed with...

So the real question here is what’s the gift? 

Theory 2a: The tunnel. If Sykes wasn’t lying in 5.02 the tunnel leads under the river towards the main land. However, Jeremiah cut Gotham off from the rest of the world, so him creating an escape route seems highly unlikely. Perhaps that’s just what he told his workers to keep them motivated. I’m wondering if he’s now planning to flood part of Gotham perhaps. All in all, it’s a very suspicious tunnel. 

Theory 2b: The destruction of Haven. This seems less likely to me just because it sounded like he was planning something, and of course Haven had already been destroyed. Plus I feel like if he had been responsible we might have heard someone reporting in on it or Jeremiah gloating about it. I’m not fully taking him off the suspect list though.

Theory 2c: It’s something else entirely. Ra’s goal for Bruce was to have him become the dark knight and I feel like he really sold Jeremiah on that idea. So, Jeremiah has trapped Bruce in Gotham, surrounded him with chaos and baddies, but I feel like he hasn’t really given something to Bruce yet to really test his mettle, so perhaps it has something to do with that. I feel like it could even have something to do with Bane. We’ve now seem Jeremiah is in control of the workers with the Bane-esque gasmasks from 5.02, we know Ace Chemicals is going to be involved and Ecco is finding him followers with more violent tendencies. She figured he’d want quality over quantity. So, maybe he’s looking for the best fighter to beef up and throw at Bruce.

3. What’s the deal with Blackout Ed?

We had it revealed that the actual culprit was Ed all along! I mean, I can’t say I was really surprised, though I’m pretty sure we’re all still questioning his motive. Few interesting things for consideration, the rooftop had a couch on it, was this the same couch he woke up on in a previous episode? He didn’t react to it, but I think it could point to the fact Ed himself scouted and selected the location, rather than someone else. Ed also previously woke up in a dumpster right after the helicopter shut down, I made a joke that he was hiding in there because he shot down the helicopter, now it’s looking more like this could be true.

So why? Why do these things? What did they accomplish? Both attacks directly negatively impacted Jim Gordan the Green Zone. I could see the case be made That they also negatively impacted Bruce too, but not as much as Jim.

Theory 3a: Blackout Ed is just plain old evil. What I like about this theory is it makes it a lot harder for Ed to be forgiven via the “Bucky Barnes is Innocent because Mind Control” argument. (I’m not a fan, but it’s totally fine if you are) If this is the case than there is an even darker part of Ed, that our On-Screen Ed is now going to not only have to recognize in himself, but hopefully fight against. (and it looks like he does from the preview). I also favor it because it sets up Ed to be a real big baddie and could set him up for a little War of Jokes and Riddles arc against the other potential big baddie Jeremiah. What I don’t think fits well with this theory is the way Tank (Street Demon Thug) describes Blackout Ed:

“You seemed stiff, man of few words. In a daze, actually.”

That sounds like mind control. Which leads us into the rest of the theories.

Theory 3b: Professor Hugo Strange. Just him on his own, lovin’ himself some twisted mad science. Now almost every theory after this one is going to involve Hugo, but this one is just Hugo and that’s actually what I think makes it really weak as Hugo seems to be the type of guy who likes lurking in the shadows and doesn’t particularly like drawing attention to himself. Which y’know blowing up Haven has drawn a LOT of attention. That being said we could see almost the exact same thing as Theory 3a, play out except Ed does get to plea Bucky-Barnes-Defense. It’s also not the first time we’ve seen Hugo just mess with someone’s personality notably we have Galavan who he used to try to kill Bruce and Oswald who he conditioned to be nice and then just let him loose. FOR SCIENCE! Apparently.

Theory 3c: Jeremiah somehow has control of Blackout Ed. I was originally all for this theory, because blowing up building is 100% Jeremiah’s MO, but after finding out it wasn’t actually bombs and the fact that Jeremiah didn’t make any comment about it in 5.04 makes me think he’s not involved. I will grant him still that he had access to the Green Zone and he would also have knowledge of the buildings structure and heating system as an architect. As I pointed out in question 2 it sounds like he’s up to something else.

Theory 3d: Teresa Walker. For those of you who don’t know SPOILER ALERT 5.06 she’s the lady talking to Jim on the radio and she’s apparently the one who’s going to send in Eduardo Dorrance (Bane). The idea here is that she’s somehow manipulating Ed via Hugo so that Ed causes enough destruction in Gotham so she has an excuse to send in her strike force and hey, if that’s the case it worked! What I like about this theory is it’s very Amanda Waller in Suicide Squad. Just as they wont let Gotham use the name Joker, maybe WB has also banned Amanda Waller from being used and this is Gotham’s hot take. Sending in Bane to recruit more baddies to use for her own nefarious ends would be a pretty cool plot. My problem with this theory is actually the timeline, Amanda would have had to reach out to Hugo Strange before Oswald recruited him to fix Butch. This means recruiting Ed was a crime of opportunity. 

Theory 3e: Jervis Tech. As far as I know this is a whole new theory I just came up with while writing all these other theories out. What I like about this theory, Jervis Tech has the motive. He HATES Jim. In fact I’d argue he hates Jim more than anyone. Both attacks targeted Jim. Hypnosis is his MO and that sounds a lot like how Tank described Blackout Ed’s behavior. Main weakness I feel with this theory is Jervis hasn’t really been a big bad and I’d be surprised if they gave him that strong of a roll. There have been clips of him this season though, so I know he’s going to turn up somewhere.

4. What were Zsasz’s ‘Final Words’?

Not really a big plot altering question, I just really want to know!

#Gotham #gotham season 5 spec #jeremiah velaska #edward nygma #gotham riddler #hugo strange #jervis tetch #gotham jeremiah