#i also picked coloring even though this is the part that takes me the longest (around 90% of the time spent)

[yourmaidsp]

Hii,

I'm having big difficulty with digital coloring T-T Are there perhaps any tips u can give me pls? Ur so good at it

Hii! (˃ ⌑ ˂ഃ ) I'm so glad u come to me for help! Umm well I'm not that confident about my skills and techniques, but here's everything I've learned over the years

Also, bc I'm gonna do demonstration and detailed analysis, this will be the only time I make tutorial on coloring, I spent 5 hours making it, and I hope you guys are okay with it :3

( and sorry if I nag a lot(´ . .̫ . `) and forgive me of my poor english)

1. Preparation:

first u gotta analyze the image you want to achieve, if it has background, what environment will it be, indoor or outdoor? what time of the day is it? Do u need it to be stylized or realistic?

When your idea is finalized it's time to gather references, I'd recommend using tools like PureRef to make a ref sheet bc it can be set to always on top layer, it's easier to reference this way.

If you're going for a realistical color design, search for photos close to what you desire, especially film screenshots. Also I'd suggest that u start to take reference photos yourself, bc search on Google leads u to ai sometimes,

and those are no good (´ . .̫ . `)

(For surreal color designs I'll elaborate on the next chapter～)

(here's my all in one big ass ref sheet for sp projects

bc I'm lazy(´ . .̫ . `))

I suggest u make different ref pages for different illustrations.

2. Set Tones :

(I find this color wheel on the internet, we'll be using this for demonstration)

Now u have a ref sheet, hurray! It's time to set the tone!

Most of the time u want a consistent tone for the image, like, I wanna go for a green overall tone, I'd fill my cavas with a green background color. Then decide what other colors goes good with it.

here's how it works:

For coherent overall tone, most colors tend to be in places near your main tone. as seen in the color wheel, pick colors adjacent to it's position. We call these analogues.

A small porpotion of colors on the opposite side of your main tone can be used to break the continuety, just like in music, you purposely add stuff to make it less repetitive. It's called complimentary.The most contrasted two colors on the wheel.

I use these two tricks a lot, as seen in both these two paintings:

(I put the small orange/red dots near the edge even though it's not there, to emphasize the concept of light against the overall blue tone.)

(to make Butters stand out against the environment I give him an orange bucket and a more saturated skin tone :3 )

For extreme stylized tones, I'd suggest just go wild! experement and use colors straight out of instinct, use whatever that is on the colorwheel. Use a lot of contrast!

(for e.g, this piece about that stan and whales I've doodled, it's an imaginary space, so no realife coloring rules applied.)

Oh oh and um try thumbnailing different sets of colors! Make more designs in case u change ur mind-

Also you can find color palettes other artists summarized online, they'd be quite helpful. And when you're improving you'll have palettes of your own!

3. Analysis n Theories:

Now onto theories-

I'll just use this sketch as an example, it's easier to demonstrate - (thank u Stan_(:зゝ∠)_)

(this is gonna be the longest part pls bear with me´_>`)

First is base color, without lighting this is what most objects are. Imagine things like they're in south park, just paper cutouts, without being affected by any light.

If I use color straight from the show, he's base color would be like this. It goes well with the show's design, but I need to adjust it a bit when putting him in a 3d scenario.

tips: considering the overall tone from chapter 2 while doing this would help a lot. U can tweak the base color before you deal with lighting, for a better effect.

(for coherent tone, some adjustments are made, mainly reducing the overall saturation.)

Then is lighting, normally 2-3 sets of them. Let's do it layer by layer.

Main light source. If it's an outdoor scene, most likely the sun. And for indoor, a lamp, your room's light, or tv screen etc.

When there's one light, it cast one shadow, as seen in my demo, I assume it comes from the sun, it's higher than Stan and on the right side, and cast a 45°shadow to the left side.

In this step u don't want to overthink, just do one plain shadow, follow the structure of the objects you'r painting. You can find a lot of anatomy refs online.

Secondary light source. It can be used to elevate the mood, and in some cases creates a stunning silhouette.

Since he's in an outdoor scene, my secondary light might come from behind, could be sunlight reflected by a smooth object or sth.

tips: You can use rim light as in some cases. I do that when I don't know what to paint for background.

(this one consists of a warm rim light, to add a slight sacred feeling, and a vague light from somewhere to the left and above him, I make it a cold light source to cool down the skintone for a melancholic mood )

(it's my personal habit of adding tons of these, bc I love subsurface scattering!(it appears when your skin is in front of the light, like my hand here) I find them helpful if you want to indicate intimacy or vulnerability)

Another type of light u can add is environment lights, it comes from various objects around your character, it's a bit complicated, but we can do that later.

Okay, next step,we're gonna use the shadow we just created on our base color, u have different ways to do it.

The quickest one is just put your shadow layer on top of the base,and set the layer property to multiply , grain extract or sub.

This is similar to anime cel shading, add some highlight to the eyes, some variety on the skin tone (for lip, cheek and nose), then you're done! I used to do this when I color the animation, but for illustration I think it might be too simple. I'll show you how I do that when illustrating next.

So, 'member all the shadows we did after base color? Now we need to actually paint them.

In natural environment, your color for shadow should be more sturated than the light, if not affected by environment light and reflections. That's why I lowered the saturation for base color.

So here's the skin color, to find a shadow color for it, tune up saturation and tune down the light.

But this might be just a bit boring, and actual light have color, so either make it a bit warmer or cooler depending on the color of your main light source.

The sun is quite warm, so I'll be tweak it a bit toward red.

(ah, much better!)

Now apply the same method for everything. Pay close attetion to some details:

(the shadows of eye structure is like this, bc the lens is transparent.)

(do a dark shadow in the center of the head to make silky smooth hair, also make the edge of your shadow area sharp.)

(for dry and curly hair, the shadow pattern would be gradiented with small bumps, think about snowball, or cloud.)

Okay, now we finished the first layer of shadow and light!

Now, for secondary light, I chose a reflected sunlight, thus it'd be yellowish. and since it's reflected, a less saturated color

Now apply that logic to everything, remember to use strokes or a softer brush for the subtle lighting.

And don't forget about hair highlight and subdivision scattering!(for the ears mainly, u can add some under the nose aswell)

Another trick is that u can duplicate the line and Gaussian blur it lightly, then set layer to Burn or soft light

(Here's your nostalgic filter!!Neat!)

You can either stop at this step or go in for more detail. But you might need to know about the structures if u wanna do that.

Here's a site I visit for human anatomy:

We'll go back to face again. My habit is just abandon the line and merge all layer at this moment (It's not a good habit so I won't suggest u to do the same.)

Basically what you'll need to do here is to assume more environmental color reflected on to your character, like a bluish light coming from the sky. Also the inside of collar may recieve a warm tone from the skin, etc.

When you do the strokes, remember it goes along the direction of the structure, the length and density will create a sort of rythm, and showing the texture of things. Like, for the hat I'll use shorter and wider, bc it's made of wool.

Here's the outcome! It still needs some improvement, but very close to a finished work.

Some times I add a layer of noise texture to it, I guess you can do that easier on the phone.

4. Brushes n Textures

Oh um, this is actually a part I especiallly have no confident in,,,,, bc I'm not a big fan of using comlicated brushes or blending brushes. Usually I paint with TVPaint animation, for I also do animation and it's simplicity made me unable to be distracted by fancier techniques, I only use these two brushes:

(the basic clear edge round brush)

(and this pencil brush that can also spray paint)

Most of the time I find these enough for my works.

I'd suggest using Procreate, Krita, Photoshop and othe tool for more complicated brush use~

You can learn from some artists I mentioned in the next chapter for brush techniques~

5. Learning habits

So um another thing I'd do in my free time is just browsing Artstation and Pixiv, and if I find a good painting I'd analyze it, using the theories from chapter 3 and 4.

Here are some digital artists I like:

Gop gap, Tommy Kim, Krenz, Qqingyi

And some traditional artists I like are:

John Singer Sargent, Andrew Wyeth, Chirico, Alex Colville, Edward Hopper, Wu Guanzhong.

I hope this tutorial I make will be able to help~

Wish u the best of luck!

#maid's requests #art tips #sp fanart

[parkermunson]

Siren!Eddie Part 3

1 / 2

summary: You want to find your new friend a shell but on the walk to find one, you fall. Cleaning the wound off in the ocean seems like a good idea, unless there's a starving siren in the water. Luckily, he's more interested in keeping you alive.

t/w: Mentions of blood/open wound a lot. Eddie licks reader (not sexually), poor self-confidence thoughts

a/n: I am so in love with this series, it brings me so much joy to write. I love little golden retriever Siren!Eddie but I also wanted to portray his actual siren nature. So this chapter shows that. And don't follow in Reader's footsteps. She's reckless. Here's the longest fic I've written so far!!! [3.6k words]

The warm wind of the afternoon rushed between your legs as you stood at the surface of splashing water. The pocket your hand rested in, previously home to the gifted shells from your newest 'friend', now storage for the little bits of sand remnants that fell from the shells. They prick your fingers, but it somehow feels nice. Like it's proof that you didn't imagine another person actually sitting in the water after all these years.

The water was empty aside from the little fish taking in the heat from the shoreline sand. He seemed to disappear in the time you left for lunch. Though, you're sure you never saw anyone like him walking around the streets from your house. Your house only separated from the little walkway to the beach by a street meant you could keep an eye on the visitors. Maybe he swam to another shore around the rocks. He seemed to love being in the water!

He was so odd, finding solace in the one thing the town seemed to fear. Perhaps he didn't know the tales of the hundreds of missing people, the sightings and sounds of something not quite human, but not quite fish. He seemed lonely with how he acted toward you. The gifts but lack of words, the inability to maintain eye contact. If he was scared, he would've left, but he didn't. Shy, that's what he was. He didn't know you. As far as he was concerned, you bothered him.

You needed to give him a reason to trust you!

The town you lived in was small, but had beaches galore. The one outside your house was closed in, high rocks separating it from other openings to the water. No doubt the guy had picked up every shell to exist in or out of the water there. So another beach nearly opposite your's was possibly unexplored by him. It was a distance away, a mile or so, with uneven ground on the path in between. Little shore towns like this are adamant they stick with their history, and that always means keeping the rocky footpaths that only get worse with age.

Riding your bike on the street would've been a better option, had it not been so hot, steam could be seen rising off the surface. Your rusty old bike would melt, knowing your luck.

Your sandals slid and flopped against the porous surface of the rocks. These rocks were probably here for thousands of years, before humans even lived on the land. Now they were merely a guide to your next destination. The blinding white of the worn rock contrasted the deep grays of the spots where rain would gather in tiny pools. Tiny pebbles gathering in the crevices, like small offspring. One pebble, about a third the size of your palm caught your eye. It was dotted with holes, white playing against black in a poke-a-dot battle of color. The texture was something to behold, like the scallop shell you were given. A perfect exchange.

The rock bounced in your pocket with each uneven step. The sun above was relentless, but the tall trees surrounding you on each side of the path provided enough shade to keep only a light sweat blooming from your skin. Sounds of water sloshing against land grew louder as you approached the shore, but the heat hit harder here. You cursed yourself for not bringing a bottle of water. The dryness of your mouth irked you as you imagined the cool waves clearly in your mind. Your feet couldn't carry you fast enough to feel the force of the chilly water as a release from the sun.

In the distance you could hear voices from the shops a few blocks away along the main street that circled the little town, like a barrier between the houses and water. Ice cream shops, restaurants, little boutiques. After your search, you'll have to stop at the ice cream parlor for a sweet, cold snack. For now, the shore lay ahead, the waves pushing and pulling against the golden sand– a welcome and a dismissal curled into one.

You finally reached the last step. The anticipation clouding your judgement as your sandal met rock but slid sideways on the unbalanced object. The skin of your knee kissed the sharp edge and you landed with one leg curled beneath you, the other awkwardly stretched in front of you. The scratch across your skin was felt long before you saw it. It pulsed with pain, buzzing incessantly against your muscle. It was more annoying than painful, and only soured your mood further. You sat there for a moment, gathering breath before finding your balance on your feet and assessing the damage. The scrape wasn't too deep, but ran along your mid-calf up to your knee. The skin was open and flushing with blood attempting to scab over. Small drops of crimson bubbling from the wound and starting to drip. You brushed a hand over it, attempting to flick off any little pebbles and specks of dirt. The blood smeared across your skin, shining against it in a crimson stroke. You sighed, further aggravated at your now dirty leg, before continuing your walk. The water would help clean it off.

He twiddled his webbed thumbs as he assessed his collection. Your reaction to his shells weren't telling in your preferences. He had given shiny and matte, textured and smooth. Different colors. Different shapes. You reacted the same to each. Maybe a conch would gain a better reaction, or a starfish. After all, these were his favorite of his collection and he cherished them. He wouldn't part with them unless it was for you. For you, he would give the ocean, his home. Just by hearing your voice, he was a goner. You would most likely never accept him, but he was your's. His first and only human. His... friend.

For a while after you left, he played your words in his head over and over like a trance. Questioning the meaning, the sounds, the way your lips moved around each word. He needed to see you again. The desire just to listen to you speak was enough to keep hopeful in his lonely, desolate life. Eventually you would stop talking, waiting for an answer that would never come from him, but for now you seemed satisfied with his presence.

The starfish was long dead, white with long spiked legs. The legs twisted in different directions. Had it not been found on land, the creature would have been eaten by now. But it's once slimy body was a solid shell now, even in water. He held it up to the sunrays sparkling against the water's surface a few yards above him. This was perfect, at least two visits worth, if not more. But he'll bring more shells to the next one, just in case.

As he studied the skeleton in his hand, the scent hit him like a wall. It was far. Miles. But it's a scent that hasn't graced his nose in what felt like centuries. Blood. Human blood.

His pupils grew large, nearly devouring the brown iris surrounding them. He was hungry now. An insatiable hunger he hasn't been able to curve in so long. The shell drops from his grip, long forgotten while his true nature takes over. He's swimming toward the scent faster than he's ever gone before. The teeth crowding his mouth ache with the anticipation, his fingers clenching so deep in his palms the sharp nails pierce his skin. He can't feel it, not when his brain has already pinpointed the exact location of his meal.

As he dives past the shore you would meet him, he can smell your scent. At first he thinks it's just a lingering thought of you held by the water, until he feels the small vibrations in his chest. You're in the water, just not here. It nearly knocks him out of the trance, but the scent of blood is stronger as he nears land. He rushes around the curves of the sand and rocks, desperately trying to satisfy his overwhelming desire.

The drumming in his chest grew stronger with each mile closer. His heart beating fast enough to drill his ears. The water grew warmer as the sand crept up on the surface of the water, but it did little to stir him. He spotted the crimson dancing in the water, floating around the open wound like an arrow pointing exactly where he wanted. The legs stood knee below the water, hands gliding over the damaged skin attempting to sooth the wound.

His tail shot him toward his intended meal, the hunger uncaring on how close he was to land, and who would see him. A distance away the legs dribbled sweet, luscious blood into the water, unable to clot the wound. His belly twisted with the scent being so close, and he could barely remember himself in the moment. He licked his lips, drawing closer to the legs, reaching a webbed claw out before stopping two yards away.

He knew those legs.

The moment your feet touched the water, instant relief overcame you. The crisp water between your toes, delicately licking your ankles. The water was nudging you further in with each pull of the waves, enough of an invite to abandon your sandals on the shore and walk in up to your knees. It soothed the scratch and brought comfort to your mood. The waves absorbing the strain in your muscles.

Had you not come here for a purpose, you would dive in head first, letting the water devour you in a chilly embrace.

The water on this side was lighter, more clear. It's color around your knees now tainted a purpl-ish with your blood. It flowed in concentric circles with the natural movement of your legs. The idea of being eaten by a creature on this side of the town seemed infinitely worse with how gruesome the water would get.

The clearness meant it was easier to spot the tiny creatures swimming around the floor below. Small fish and crabs scouring to get away from your feet, while some fish, slightly larger, took up their confidence in getting closer to you. You watched as they bobbed back and forth, as though debating the distance. Curious little things, with no concept of danger. Their little fins barely handling the movement of the water.

The bloody water had started blocking the view of your little onlookers. Though you didn't want to scare them away yet, you leaned down and brushed a hand over the wound to clean it off. The fish, now intimidated, disappeared further into the safety of the water. Little specks of dirt and rock began floating around your calf, and the blood didn't seem to stop. For such a small scrape, the water made it seem like an open gash in your leg. You continued rubbing it, hoping the wound would magically clean with the movement.

Ahead of you, a dark shadow moved in the water. It was too far for you to make out the shape, but it was big. Sharks would never come out this far, you're almost sure of it. You took a cautious step back, afraid moving too fast would signal an attack. The shadow remained still, waiting. It could just be a large fish investigating the aroma of blood. Or a creature... the ones you were told to fear. The ones you were reminded of day in and day out growing up. The reason you weren't allowed in the water in the first place.

This one stayed put, not advancing nor abandoning their prey. They were studying you, you could feel it. Never coming close enough to be seen through the clear water, but also not leaving you be. Was it waiting for something?

Every inch of you wanted to kneel down and look under the water at your observer. It was dumb and would get you killed. But odd men throughout past generations had seen these creatures, described them in a variety of ways. Now you had the chance to actually see one. Tell the town whether or not the tales they told were really true. Draw a vivid picture for the scientists who gave up searching years ago.

You took a step forward, back to your original spot in the sandy floor. The shadow remained still, floating like a dark cloud on a sunny day. It's attack inevitable, but the wait was worse. Your heart was beating so loud, you could have sworn the water was vibrating from it. The circles around your knees had nearly dissipated before you took another step into the water closer to the shadow. Still it remained. The water was now at your mid-thigh, bouncing around with small kitten licks up and down your skin. One half step forward and the water just barely grazed your crotch. Your shorts turning a deeper blue as the material sucked up liquid.

Your fists curled at your side, the anxiety consuming your senses. The world had grown quiet as you waited. Further in now, the water wasn't nearly as clear. The tint a bit darker, the floor murkier. Your feet were only a blurred shape now. But you waited, still. As did the shadow. With each dip and reach of the waves around you, the chilly water was starting to cause goosebumps across your skin. You barely noticed the blood on your wound had stopped flowing, too focused on the task at hand.

The possibility of the creature escaping was high, and much more frightening than the thought of what it could actually do to you. The idea, however, instantly fell away once it moved an inch closer. And then another. So slowly it crept forward, a long cylindrical shadow floating just above the sand, deep enough to stay blurred under the water. It had stopped about a foot away, weighing the next move. You could see the head, rounder than its body, swaying in the water. Hair.

Thoughts of your death overtook your mind. It could be a while before anyone even noticed you missing. No one would check the water. No one would think you were that stupid to do the one thing you were constantly told not to do.

The creature drew closer to your feet and you froze in place. It reached in front of it with a bright, pale arm, stopping centimeters from your toes. The hair floating around its head in a messy crown. You took a deep breath and held it before you felt the cold touch on your foot... of skin. The creature's other hand mirroring the same actions on your other foot. It was soft, delicate, experimental. The touch would have gone unnoticed except for the temperature, and the fact you were seeing it.

The hands slid up to your ankles, poking a little at the bone, feeling the curve and dip of it. It tickled a bit, but you remained still. This creature could change it's mind at any time, and you could instantly become food. If it wasn't just checking out its meal beforehand.

The fingertips glided further up, inspecting the bone running along the front of your calf, the muscles cushioning it around. You noticed the fingers neglecting to touch the wound. The touch had become firmer, more sure you wouldn't suddenly take off.

As the hands reached further, you were able to make out more features. Long nails at the end of each finger, the digits webbed together. The arms bony thin, but muscular enough to withstand the strength of the water. They contoured with each pinch against your leg, testing the dexterity.

You looked past the arms, to the hair. Little brown curls bounced with the sways the creature gave to stay afloat in the water. The hair was long, shiny in the sunlight. Under the hair was a thin torso, bones wriggling with every arm movement and rock of its body. The pale skin fades into a glittering collage of turquoise and blue scales. The tail was round around the hips and tapering off into a thinner shape near the tail fin. You could only really see up to the middle of the tail before the water blocked the rest from view. It was beautiful, awe-inducing.

Your attention was too focused on the shape of the creature to notice it had dipped its head closer to your legs. The eyes surveying the wound closely with a specific interest on the open skin and spots of clotted blood. The fingers poking at the skin around it, causing it to flush and return back to color.

What the fuck was he doing? He should have swam miles away by now, as far from the human standing before him as possible. Your presence unfaltering in the water was enough to keep close. He could still smell your blood, and his hunger never faded, but something new was happening. He could feel it.

Your foot had brought you closer once. Then twice. Then again. He could see up to your round thighs now, and felt the urge to feel them. Your legs looked so lively, pumping with blood, your muscles moving under your skin. He was almost jealous. You had legs.

He approached cautiously, afraid he would scare you off, but you stood your ground. From the floor, he could barely make out your face. Your head a featureless circle sitting atop your shoulders. He probably looked the same to you.

Your feet looked so strange, little toes leading into flat-topped feet. And you had two! The veins jutting along the top reminded him of the shell he gave you. Textured, but soft. He felt along your ankle, wondering the mechanics behind it. His fin flowed, no bones to withhold movement. How did humans swim with such strict bodies?

As he came up to your shin, he did his best to ignore the wound and instead took to studying your muscles and bones. Your skin was slightly thicker here than your foot, more porous, but less bumpy than the veins on your feet. You were so warm, so soft his hands could glide along your skin. You were everything he wasn't.

Your skin was flexible when he pinched. He could push and pull it to his every whim. The skin would grow lighter under his pushing fingertips and then back to normal when he pulled them away. Dead bodies never did that.

He really did his best to ignore the wound, but the look of the open flesh was magnetic. He was so hungry, but the thought of hurting you made him nauseous. Instead, he inspected it closely, pulling himself closer to look at it. His nose inches away from your leg. The blood was no longer drifting into the water, but scabbed. The skin was still open, a pink-ish hue peeking through the skin. Something in his brain flipped and he did it without second thought. Sticking his tongue out, he leaned in and licked along the open skin. It tasted divine. He gripped onto your ankles holding you in place as he licked again. And again.

He nearly dug his teeth in, letting his instincts take over and shutting his brain off the world, but then he remembered it's you. He let go of your ankles quickly, pushing himself back a bit as if he was the one hurt. His arms hugged his torso in comfort, his tail curling under him. How could he go against his true nature like this? Turning down his own needs simply because you interested him? His people would be so disappointed. They would scorn him, banish him to the deepest, darkest parts of the ocean.

You stood there still, probably worried you did something wrong. Your feet digging into the sand beneath in anxiousness. He hugged his tail closer as you started turning away to head back to shore. The thought of chasing after you to continue this little introduction was enticing, but he was already disappointed in himself enough. He stayed curled up there long after your feet left the water, even after the sun went down.

His stomach gurgling in his little ball was the only sound he let himself hear.

You were admiring the figure when it had jerked back suddenly, as though your skin had burned it. One moment it was exploring your legs, the next it was curling up on itself. Was this something natural? Did you scare it? Your thoughts were racing, your toes digging into the sand. It stayed like that for a bit, not attempting to move toward you again. You had overstayed your welcome in the water, and the creature had enough.

Turning back to land, you glanced once behind you to see the creature still in the same position. Maybe another time you'll meet again. For now, this was over.

You reached the shore, your shorts dripping at the bottom, but you couldn't find it in yourself to care. Your sandals lay in the same spot you left them on the sand and you dug your toes into them with a slight hint of fury, aimed at yourself. You didn't think you did anything wrong, but your focus was so occupied, you may have flinched and scared it. Or maybe something on your skin hurt it. All your thoughts were blaming you for ruining the moment.

You glanced down at your legs for a moment to notice the wound was gone completely. As though it was never there in the first place. The creature had healed you.

taglist: @luna-munson83 @harrys-tittie @jobean12-blog @idkidknemore @sister-cirice @xxaestheticboyxx @frodofreakingbaggins @ajeff855 @maddieluvseddie @untowardghost @secretdryrose @eddieswifu @hellfire1986baby

Thanks for reading, lovelies!!!

#eddie munson #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson fanfic #siren!eddie #siren!eddie munson #siren au #stranger things #stranger things imagine #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things fic #eddie munson fic #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x reader #mandi writes #parkermunson

[ryujinsvoid]

11/16 attempt

So I had an extremely powerful lucid dream last night, and the longest lucid dream I’ve ever had in my life. I’ve never felt so stabilized in a dream. It was to the point that I was afraid to do the “fall into the void” method because I was convinced I’d hurt myself!

I think I got into this deep state through doing a meditation before bed, waking up 3.5-4 hours into my sleep and doing a guided lucid dreaming meditation. I actually woke up at the end of this 90 min meditation and took my AirPods out, so I’m not even necessarily sure if it triggered this lucid dream or if it was just me, but I felt the need to include this anyway!

The dream felt like this reality, but more beautiful. But it also seemed like we were living in some after math of a war? There was a large statue with hands reaching out coming out from under a lake that made it look like it was destroyed and left there. The lake had like, white foggy but clear water? You couldn’t see anything in it though. This lake was leading into a big ocean. This dream was taking place in front of a school for the most part and mini giraffes were school pets, but you could see big giraffes in the distance. It was like giraffes were common pets in this world. The skies were super pretty and permanently a pinkish blueish golden hour type color. There was also a point where I was working again at a job I just quit, with a new boss, new employees and a whole new vibe to it that made working there way more tolerable. There was also a point where I was on the phone with my bestie and shifting partner, and she was talking me through stabilizing myself I remember telling her over and over that “I can’t tell if I’m dreaming or not” All of this really made me feel like I shifted to another reality 💀 but I eventually realized my hands having 6-7 fingers each.

The dream shifted locations a lot, but I stayed the lucid the whole time and tried to ground myself. I focused so much on this so much that I kind of forgot to shift! Every time I thought to i was like “okay, let me make sure I’m really grounded”

I even remember when I was outside the school, i dropped to the floor and looked at every detail of it. It was EXTREMELY detailed just like real life. Then when I ended up at home and was in my room I even picked up a pencil and a piece of paper to do math equations and stabilize myself, but when I’d write a number the paper would show a different number so I gave up and tried to do the equations in my head.

Once I finally was gonna attempt to fall into the void I felt the dream fading and myself waking up 😕

I think some of the mistakes I made here were not thinking to try and shift by walking through a door or something, in this dream I was convinced the void was the only way. I also forgot to affirm as much as I wanted to, I should have even attempted to affirm until I woke up!

I cant wait to attempt again though. I swear every time I feel myself getting closer.

#void state #reality shifting #shifting #bestie #loassumption #lucid dreaming

[mariacallous]

The core things I would and do tell anyone/everyone:

-Genuinely the best advice I have is to practice and try it as much as you feel able to - I've surprised myself with how often I'll be trying eyeshadow or lipstick randomly (it's a nice distraction and creative outlet when work or whatever gets to be too much and you need to step away real quick or focus on something else and take a break) and seeing what happens, and when it's an experiment like that I'm not as worried about perfect results or making a mess of myself (as if I'm not ridiculous and messy to begin with).

-I am not very technical or dexterous with my makeup application, and so I keep that in mind when figuring out what I want to do.

-Decide what your comfort area is, what your grey zone is, and what you think would be red line(s)/no-go areas, as well as what your ideal goal is and what you'd settle for. For me I made the decision to not bother with contouring my face - it's round/oval(ish) and not worth the trouble involved for the most part and more work than I care to do to myself. So I apply foundation and concealer when needed and otherwise decided that lips and eyes are where I want to put the most focus and attention. Eyeliner and mascara are my grey/uncertain zone is and I've avoided doing it for the most part so it's one of the areas I'm the weakest.

-Situation, situation, situation - decide which looks and which colors you're comfortable with/want to use for each situation. For most work looks the boldest I'm (currently) doing is a red lip (or a mauve lip) and maybe a neutral/tan eyeshadow (if even that). Figure out what your color range and specific items are for certain looks and events and keep those on hand/in mind so that you're more comfortable going right into the makeup and not holding back and spending time trying to decide what you're going to do.

-Wipes. Keep wipes, makeup or baby, nearby at all times. For more precise damage control, wrap the wipe around your index finger (or whichever finger you think offers you the best control and movement) before going to clean up the error (in my case, it's usually lipstick overdrawn or smudged, or excess/messy eyeshadow).

-What do you like and enjoy? That should be the main, if not *the* main, consideration when you're doing makeup. I fundamentally believe that makeup is meant to enhance and be enjoyed - by others maybe but mostly by me. If you're not having fun or don't like something, then you don't need to do or use it. For the longest time I avoided most red lipstick shades because, even though I loved it, someone made it uncomfortable for me to wear them and made me feel embarrassed about it, and also made somewhat unfriendly/derogatory remarks. Once I was away from them and experimenting again and redetermining what I liked and what I thought looked good on me, I re-embraced the red.

-Expanding on the previous point, don't be afraid to pick and choose certain looks or certain elements or trends if you like them, but always make sure that you're being yourself and remembering what you like and what you want.

(Also, there's nothing wrong with a no makeup look - as in not wearing any makeup. (if you want to do the "no makeup makeup" look where you're wearing makeup but in a way so that it looks like you're not, it's whatever but personally that's a lot of work for that end result and I don't think it's fun or looks all that good tbh) We're going to go through probably most of our lives with little to no makeup on anyway.)

[hazeofhearts]

Take My Breath Away

June 1995

The day was bright, but the hottest part of the day had passed an hour or so ago. Will couldn’t stop the shaking in his hands, but he hadn’t been able to stop them for three days now. It wasn’t fear that something would go wrong. Everything was covered. It wasn’t even that he was getting married! No. He was ready for this and had been dreaming of this day since he was seven. This was the first and only wedding he had ever imagined himself having. Somehow, even though he’d never gotten them, these were happy shakes. 

Will was adjusting his bowtie once again in the mirror. It felt weird to be back here, even if this was his childhood home. After the return from the California stint, reclaiming the old Byers house hadn’t been all that difficult. It would just feel wrong now that everyone had been reconnected once more. The location was pretty unreasonable for anyone else from town, and no one outside of Hawkins came into Hawkins to buy a house, especially not after the “devastating earthquake” or whatever the news had called it back then. Will’s mouth twisted with the memory of what life had been like for him back then, then smoothed out once more with the thought of what would come.

“Honey? I’m coming in,” said his mother with her timing knock, sweeping in quickly through the door to avoid spoiling anything for the guests. It’s not like this was a traditional wedding where you couldn’t see the bride in her dress, but Joyce Byers was nothing if swept up in the romance of it all. She was wearing her gorgeous mother-of-the-groom outfit, a cream-colored dress that fell just below the knees with a blazer over the top in the same color. Will had insisted that since there wouldn’t be a bride, his mother and sister should wear white. Someone had to have the honor. El had wasted no time picking out a white, off-the-shoulder gown with lace trim. Joyce had made her reservations known, but Will assured them it wouldn’t be an issue.

“Hi, mom,” Will said quietly, fingers jittering and messing up his tie more than it was helping.

“Did Hop help you with that tie? It looks a little….” Joyce waggled her fingers, nose scrunching sympathetically.

“You know, you’re also a Hopper. That nickname doesn’t work as well now,” Will laughed. “But yes, he did help me.”

“Figures. I knew when you said you wanted a bowtie that he’d insist on helping you. C’mere.”

Joyce muttered as she fiddled with the bowtie, her hands shaking just as bad as Will’s, if not worse.

“Mom? You okay?”

This was Will’s first good look at his mother in the last 24 hours. She’d been flitting around, trying to host almost every child she had ever mothered in the 80s. Jonathan and Argyle had been here the second longest, having flown in from New York. El had arrived two days after Will did, lugging her gigantic suitcase from wherever she’d modeled last. Will knew his mom loved hosting, but he wished she would settle down. Of course, he can say that about her but not himself. He is his mother’s son, after all.

“Yes, of course. Weddings are all just a little bit stressful, you know? I mean, we had Jonathan and Argyle’s union in January in New York, and now yours in June. It’s all just so much joy for your mom, you know? Do you remember when you said you’d never fall in love?”

Joyce had been tearing up as she spoke, and the tears fell at that question. Will tried to wipe her tears away without smudging her makeup. El worked hard to craft the perfect look that would highlight Joyce’s big brown doe eyes and make her look more beautiful than she did every day. That’s what El said last night anyway, while swatching different colors on her hands, Joyce’s hands, and anyone else she could get her bushes on.

“El’s gonna be pissed if you ruin her makeup, mom,” Will said, no actual malice or scolding in his voice.

“Oh, I know. I just can’t believe my baby’s getting married,” Joyce said, a sob bubbling up from her throat.

“Will, is mom in there?”

Jonathan’s voice wafted from out in the hallway. 

“Yeah, come in.”

Jonathan was alone and rushed to his brother and mother when he saw them in each other’s arms. His camera, which had been around his neck like usual, was abandoned on Will’s old bed. Will felt like he was twelve again, but instead of feeling sheltered and treated like glass, he was supported and given something of a goodbye.

“Sorry, sorry, boys. I don’t mean to get emotional,” Joyce said, pulling away first. She fans at her eyes to dry them, and Jonathan removes a dusty tissue from the box on Will’s high school desk.

“No, mom. It’s an emotional time. You don’t have to apologize. This is an incredible day. I know your tears mean you’re proud,” Jonathan said as Joyce blew her nose as gracefully as possible to smudge the least amount of makeup.

“Oh, I’m more proud than I could ever be. My babies are all grown up and doing what they love, with people they love. That’s all a mother could ask for.”

Will enveloped his mom in a hug again, pulling her as close as physically possible. Jonathan sandwiched her in from behind, his arms secured around Will’s shoulders. Will loved his sister and stepfather but appreciated this moment alone with his mom and brother.

“You raised us to go after our dreams, no matter how far-fetched and unattainable they may be. If we fell, you’d support us, and we could get back up and try as many times as possible. You showed us that growing up, mom,” Will murmured into her hair, a careful updo that would need redoing when El saw her.

“No more, no more. I’m really going to ruin my makeup if we keep in here. I just came to make sure you were ready, baby. Are you?”

Joyce continued to dab at her eyes while Will looked at himself in the mirror. He saw himself in his rich, light blue suit tailored by El. She’d managed to finagle a bunch of daisies into his locks. His hair was just a bit too short, so he looked a little like a baby bird with their fresh tufts of feathers. He loved the look. Behind him, he saw his mother and brother. The two people who had been by his side his entire life, and would follow him into his future, were there as well.

“I’m ready. What about El? Dad? Does Dustin have his notes? What about Max’s equipment?”

Jonathan clapped him on the shoulder, a rueful smile on his face.

“Don’t worry about those things. That’s what your wedding planner is for,” Jonathan said soothingly.

“I mean, I can understand how El would want to do absolutely everything, but she’s got to be overwhelmed.”

“El’s faced much worse than a private wedding. Plus, all of us helped set up the arch and chairs last night. Everyone brought the dishes they’d promised to make, and the cake is still in the fridge. We got this.”

Will took a deep breath, then let it out.

“Alright. I’m ready.”

El burst in the door then, hair in an elegant yet complicated style that Will could never dream of trying to replicate. She fussed over him, Jonathan, and their mother in that order.

“Oh, mom! I knew you’d cry if you came in here. Let’s get your makeup fixed before the ceremony. Everyone’s here now,” El said, turning to the door. Will heard a shuffle outside the hall before Jonathan shielded him from sight.

“Hey,” El said sharply, pointing to the door she left open. “It’s bad luck to see the groom before the alter. Get back, you beast!”

A laugh from the hall made Will’s heart clench and drop to his shoes in the same breath. Jonathan scooped up his camera after the door closed once more. 

“Well, it’s time for me to do my job now. See you on the other side, brother.”

“You’re sure you don’t want me to pay you? You’re a good artist and deserve to be paid for your work.”

“Will, you’re my brother. I’m offended you even asked. Just make sure you contribute to rent when you guys move in with Argyle and us before you get your own place.”

The next ten minutes passed so slowly, and Will could feel himself getting a little damp under his suit from his entire body sweating. Joyce guided him to the backdoor with gentle hands and left him there to sit in her place of honor. He could hear the music that Max had curated for the day and knew who was proceeding down the aisle by the beats of the music. They’d repeatedly practiced the procession over the past few days until Will was sure everything was perfect. He called up the mental map of the yard in his brain.

The white rug, bought from a wedding supply store for Jonathan and Argyle’s union, was wedged under the back door, between the screen and the wood. It would lead to the middle of the backyard, flanked by rented fold-out plastic chairs. Each row of chairs was bookended by mason jars filled with daisies, baby’s breath, blue forget-me-nots, and white carnations. At the end of the rug, a homemade pergola, courtesy of Jim Hopper himself, threaded through with the same flowers in the jars. 

Max would be stationed closer to the house to protect her sound equipment but would sneak closer to the ceremony once she no longer needed to provide songs. Dustin was proud when he flashed his officiate certificate, and Will’s heart grew at his friend’s consideration. Steve and Robin would be stationed on either side of the house to ensure no surprise visitors. There had been many discussions about hosting the wedding in Hawkins for fear of specific people making themselves known when they were very much unwelcome. But, this was the source responsible for the lifelong love that Will was binding himself to, so Hawkins herself deserved some credit for something. In any case, Steve had his nail bat in the trunk of his car, hoping it wouldn’t come to that.

Finally, after what felt like hours of standing at the backdoor, the music shifted to something softer, and the door opened before him. Will’s hands clenched tightly around the small bunch of the same flowers littered across the venue. It wasn’t the traditional wedding march, but this was not a conventional wedding. 

El had decided a faux hedge wall would be an excellent backdrop to take pictures once the reception had finished and hide Will until the last possible second. Will caught Max’s grin directed at him before he turned the corner.

There, the sunlight peeking through the pergola and lighting on the daisies in his own much longer hair is Michael Wheeler. His cheeks are pink, his eyes crinkle upon making eye contact with Will, and he sucks his lips into his mouth. Will recognizes that as Mike’s ‘trying not to cry’ face and forces himself to slowly walk down the aisle, stepping in the correct time to the music. Jonathan pops in and out of his view, his camera flashing quickly.

The music swells as Will steps up to Dustin and Mike, and he sees Mike’s throat hitch in real time as he chokes back a sob. There are small, gentle tear tracks falling down his cheeks, and Will knows there definitely is the same on his. As the young men come to face each other, they both let out gasping laughs. Will can feel El extracting the bouquet from his hands, and they automatically go up to Mike’s face, wiping the tears. Mike’s hands, in turn, do the same for him.

They stand silently at the altar, crying the happiest tears anyone in their company has ever seen. Mike leans in, and Will, having come to appreciate certain wedding traditions, course corrects to a hug. Will’s arms close around Mike, and Mike’s arms crush them together, squeezing all the air out of each other. Will can feel Dustin’s hand on his shoulder, and he pulls them into an embrace. Quickly, both young men feel the hands and arms of their other friends, Lucas, Max, and El; and they are enveloped in a love so strong and pure that nothing could replicate it.

After everyone has sufficiently calmed down and returned to their seats, Dustin straightens up and greets the guests.

“Welcome, friends, family, and loved ones. We come here today, in the sight of you as witnesses to join Michael James Wheeler and William Jacob Byers in marriage. We gather around them now in this wonderful place, and we look on with love and hope as these two begin their new life together as one.”

Will looks into Mike’s eyes, his typically dark brown eyes turning to warm chocolate as the sun seeps through the pergola. Their hands are joined, Mike’s are sweaty, and so are Will’s. Mike rubs his left thumb on the outside of Will’s right hand, and Will can’t help but look at the daisies El has successfully weaved through his hair. He’d slept on the couch with it in a braid last night, so it has a pretty wave to it, and El has rebraided smaller pieces to hold some of the daisies. He looks beautiful, but he always has.

Dustin clears his throat, and both of them snap their gazes from one another. Their officiant has the most smug smirk he’s ever shown on his face, and their guests chuckle in amusement. 

“I suppose I’ll repeat myself. Mike and Will, are you ready to proclaim that foundation of love for one another in the sight of these witnesses?”

“Yes,” they both said in unison, matching wobbly smiles on their faces. They say that the longer you’re in a relationship, the more you act and become like them. This is no different for Mike and Will. Though aged in their own ways, their guests can still see the immense friendship and love that entwines them with each other. Mike and Will move at the same time, breathe as one, and are a unified front of strength and determination. 

“Michael James Wheeler, do you take William Jacob Byers to be your lawfully wedded husband? Will you honor and cherish him; love, trust, and commit to him, through joy and pain, sickness and health, and whatever life may throw ay you both, until death do you part?”

“I do,” Mike says, a grin splitting his cheeks and crinkling his eyes in ways Will has seen more often through the years.

“William Jacob Byers, do you take Michael James Wheeler to be your lawfully wedded husband? Will you honor and cherish him; love, trust, and commit to him, through joy and pain, sickness and health, and whatever life may throw ay you both, until death do you part?”

Will take a deep breath, and Mike’s smile wobbles. Will’s hand reaches up and strokes his cheek, brushing his dark wavy hair away from his face.

“I do,” Will says firmly and with pride evident in his voice.

Someone out in the sea of fold-out seats blows their nose with a loud honk, and Will would bet money on it that it’s his stepdad. He’d made quite the turnaround when both Will and Mike revealed their relationship. After Mike and El had broken up for the last time sophomore year, Jim chilled out and accepted their new friendship, even apologizing for his overprotectiveness. When Will came out to his mom and stepdad, they supported him, and it only grew when he told them about his relationship with Mike. Jim sat them down and explained the dangers of being in the world but was honored to defend and protect them when and if the time ever came for him to be needed. That was a good day. 

“At this time, Will and Mike will exchange rings. The wedding ring is symbol of binding. A symbol of attachment and of belonging, not of possession, but of partnership.”

El stepped forward, the matching wedding rings on a little satin pillow embroidered with flowers. Will had made his concerns about how much she had been planning this wedding, but she said that all the items she’d created doubled as grades for her fashion courses in college. That reassured him somewhat. Dustin holds the pillow out, and each young man takes a ring. During their fittings, they discovered they were the same size, which only sealed that they were meant to be with one another.

“Mike, please repeat after me.”

“Will, I promise to love you and commit to you my whole life. I promise to be there for you when you need me, to be honest with you, to be faithful to you and you alone, and to walk through the valleys of life together, just as we will stand atop mountains together, too,” Mike recited, his hands steady as he took up Will’s left hand, giving him a reassuring smile as he began to slide the ring onto WIll’s finger.

Will let out a little sob, something so quiet that only the three up there would have heard. Everyone would see his shoulders shaking, though. Dustin reached out and held Will’s shoulder comfortingly before stepping back again.

“Will, please repeat after me.”

“Mike, I promise to love you and commit to you my whole life. I promise to be there for you when you need me, to be honest with you, to be faithful to you and you alone, and to walk through the valleys of life together, just as we will stand atop mountains together, too,” Will repeated, taking a break halfway through to catch his breath. Mike’s ring got stuck halfway on his middle knuckle when Will’s hands shook particularly intensely.

When they’d exchanged rings, Mike took Will’s hands and pressed a kiss to the back of them.

“Hey! No kissing before the officiant says!”

Their friends laughed along with Mike and Will as they realized they were officially bound to one another. It was more exciting than Will could bear! He was eager to cut the cake and celebrate with all his friends.

“Now, the couple will exchange their written vows.”

Dustin gestures for Mike to read his vows first, as requested by the couple during planning. Mike fumbles with the breast pocket on his tuxedo jacket, then pulls out a piece of paper. Will recognizes it from the library. It’s been creased, uncreased, folded and refolded repeatedly. Will bites his lip to hold back any strange noises he might make.

“Will Byers, you are breathtaking. Since the first day I met you, I thought you were the prettiest person I’d ever seen. Your hair was shining where you sat on the swings, and you looked so sad, but my little brain knew you were going to be someone special. I had to talk to you. We grew up, and I thought that I was supposed to hide myself, my true self, because of the teachings I have now since grown out of. I thought that I had to be someone strong and tough, who liked girls because that was what boys did. When I looked at you, I never saw that you were trapped in the same hell I was. You were always just you, but putting just in front of Will Byers is a crime in my eyes. You’re incredibly compassionate, know how to work a gun better than anyone else I know, and you never let anyone else tell you what you should and should not feel. You cry when you get angry, frustrated, and sad. I, unfortunately, have been the cause of some of those tears. But, you have graciously forgiven me and now I have the extreme honor of standing in front of you now, saying my vows as I am about to be married to you for the rest of my life. I can’t help but think that life has been extraordinarily kind to us, Will, and I hope it will continue to do so.”

Will heard sniffing from their gathered friends, and he knew his cheeks were red from so much crying. But he bit his tongue and smiled. Mike’s vows were beautiful, as he had been promising they would be. When Mike went to college for English, he worried so much about being good enough and having the portfolio to make a name for himself. Will had the same worries about himself and his art, but nothing else mattered as long as they were together. Things would fall into place once they were settled.

Dustin gestures to Will, and Will’s hands shake as he pulls his own notebook paper from his pants pocket. Mike reaches out, brushing his fingers lightly against the back of Will’s hand, and it steadies him. Will breathes in and unfolds his paper.

“Some of you might believe that I’ve been dreaming about this specific scenario for my entire life, knowing it would never become true. With the world we live in and what I was taught by it and certain people in it, I would never have this. But, somehow, the impossible came true. Michael Wheeler, I have been in love with you since I was five years old. It might sound illogical, but I recognized those feelings from those romance movies we gagged at on the television. I recognized them in me, and they’ve always been there. My feelings for you have never wavered, no matter what we’ve been through or said to each other in moments of juvenile anger. We’ve hurt each other sometimes, but if I could do it all over again, I wouldn’t change a thing if it was going to lead us here. I thought the world would end if anyone found out I was gay. I felt alone, and I assumed I would be alone forever. But my family and friend, you, Mike, you all loved me and told me so, through both actions and words. I never ever thought that this could happen to someone like me, where I could have this true life with my family and the boy I love beside me. It seems impossible that we’re here, standing in front of everyone now like this, declaring our love for one another. But then again, we’ve all seen stranger things.”

An understanding chuckle rose from the group as the statement was more than true. 

“Mike and Will, having proclaimed your love and commitment to one another in the eyes of these loved ones, and with the power vested in me by whoever the hell cares and the state of Indiana, I am so happy to pronounce you husband and husband! You may kiss!”

There was a moment of hesitation from both of them before Will wrapped his arms around Mike and swept him low, pressing their lips together in a kiss that mimicked their first in terms of giddiness and fireworks. Mike’s hands threaded through his hair, and Will could feel the daisies popping out of their carefully orchestrated placement. When Will straightened Mike up, the noise came back to both of them. Their family had broken out the noisemakers, air horns, and cheering. This was the typical Midwest celebration, and both boys expected nothing less from their families.

The couple, hands linked together, didn’t even make it halfway down the aisle before El attacked them with hugs, and everyone else followed. Will, buried among arms and kisses, saw Jonathan aim his camera in their direction, and he made sure to smile with as many teeth as he could. Later, when Mike and Will moved to New York and received their wedding photos from Jonathan, this would be Will’s favorite picture that he would display prominently in their bedroom. It was his favorite because Will was smiling and happy, yes, but so was Mike as he looked over everyone else’s heads to watch will. The smile on his face was so loving and soft that teenage Mike would’ve been mortified, but adult Mike would look at it with pride.

The wedding was small, less than twenty people overall, so they all mingled and talked while pictures were being taken against the hedge wall. Jonathan even sacrificed his camera to Nancy when it was time for the Byers-Hopper family to take pictures together. Everyone was emotional in those, with Joyce making everyone tear up. But the tears were happy, and it was evident even through the pictures. Nancy even got some pictures of the three original Byers with Joyce sandwiched between her two grown-up sons and her smiling from ear to ear. There were pictures of the three siblings and then just some with Will and El. 

Mike posed with Mr. and Mrs. Sinclair, the ones who took him in permanently when his own parents kicked him out of the house at seventeen. He’d considered them his true parents after being disowned by the ones who created him, and they accepted the title with grace. There were separate pictures with Mike’s sisters, Holly, now fifteen and rebelling against her parents, and Nancy, a successful journalist engaged to Robin. Jonathan caught the moment when Nancy gave her brother the biggest bear hug she could, but the image did not capture what she whispered to him.

“You’re going to have an amazing life.”

There were, of course, pictures of the original party, then ones with El, and finally with Max. It felt weird to exclude the young women considering everything that they’d gone through together, but none of this could have happened if the four friends had never come together to form the group in the first place. As a joke, El demanded that she, Will, and Mike take a couple pictures together.

“No one else will understand the significance, but everyone here will.”

It had been long enough that everyone was feeling happy and content about the breakup between the two of them. When Will had come out to his family, Mike took the time to sit down with El and apologize for every shitty thing he’d done to her in their relationship and explain that it wasn’t her fault but his own due to the warring feelings in his heart. Even so, it wasn’t right to put her through that. El had understood completely and confessed her own attraction to girls. The talk ended with a hug and a new understanding of one another.

There were no best men or maids of honor because the group was all equal, and the love shared between the six of them in the party could not be strengthened or weakened. So, throughout the night, everyone talked to everyone, sharing anecdotes and having a grand time. The Byer’s house had never been so full of people with overflowing love and happiness as at this very moment. 

Max had moved her equipment into the house with help from everyone and was now managing the low, happy pop music flowing through the speakers as the day wore on. Suit jackets were stripped away, and the potluck began. It was past five now, and people were hungry. Everyone brought out their best dishes, and Jim had been slow-cooking ribs since early evening yesterday, so the meat would fall off the bone. People sat on the floor in the living room, on the couch, and in the dining room. The small table in the kitchen was covered in food, as were most of the counters. Will took particular happiness in devouring quite a few of the bacon-wrapped shrimp.

Mike came up from behind, wrapping his arms around Will and pressing a kiss to his jaw.

“Hey husband, everyone wants us to cut the cake now,” he murmured into Will’s neck. The vibrations from Mike’s throat made him shiver. Will hummed, leaning his head back against Mike’s shoulder. They locked eyes, and Will pressed a kiss to the corner of Mike’s mouth.

“That means we have to put our jackets back on,” Will said.

“I know,” Mike groaned, pulling away and licking his lips. “You taste like bacon.”

Will turned with a laugh, holding out one of the shrimp for Mike, and the brown-eyed young man leaned forward, pulling the shrimp out of Will’s finger with his mouth.

“It’s good,” Mike spoke around the shrimp as he chewed.

“Let’s go cut the cake now,” Will said, linking his fingers together with his husband.

The cake cutting was sweet, with Mike and Will swiping the smallest bit of frosting onto each other’s cheeks. Will would catch the light flash of his husband’s wedding ring in the overhead lights and be blinded, but it was a welcome sensation. After all, he could say the same about his own ring. Will kissed the frosting off of Mike’s cheek and laughed as he turned bright red.

After everyone had their fill of the good food and cake, it was time for the dancing. Of course, the newlyweds were shuffled to the cleared space in the living room. The couch had been moved up against the wall, and everyone gathered in little clumps around the front room. Max is situated at her sound system and slips the cassette into the player. When Will and Mike had come to her months ago to be the DJ, she immediately agreed and asked about their first song. It had taken some deliberation, but they had finally decided on the perfect first song.

‘Watching every motion in my foolish lover’s game

On this endless ocean, finally lovers know no shame

Will felt himself melt into Mike, their chests pressed together. The next minutes would be more of Will’s favorite pictures in their wedding album. Both Mike and Will had the most lovestruck looks on their faces. Mike leaned in for a soft kiss as they approached the bridge.

“Take my breath away,” Will murmured into Mike’s mouth. Both of them had their eyes half closed as they swayed in the middle of the room. 

“If middle school me saw us, he’d lose his shit, I think,” Mike murmured, his lips brushing against Will’s with every word he spoke.

“If elementary school me saw us, he’d also lose his shit. But I think he’d lose it in a happy way,” Will said with a smile.

“Yeah, he would be. He’d be so cute,” Mike whispered, the space between his eyebrows crinkling so hard that Will reached up and smoothed it out.

“Hey,” Will cooed. “No thinking sad things. It’s our wedding day.”

Even if Will’s words might sound stern, Mike knew he wasn’t actually upset at Mike expressing his feelings so visibly. It was something they’d worked on together and with Mike’s psychologist. Mike’s hands made their way up under Will’s tuxedo jacket, but above his dress shirt, and were simply rubbing his back as they swayed to the song, their feet knocking into each other every once in a while.

“I know. I’m happy, you know that.”

Months of waltzing practice were wasted as the newlyweds simply swayed back and forth on the floor, too lost in each other to care. The couple had taken the classes together but fronted that their fiancées were best friends and planning weddings within two weeks of each other. It was the perfect ruse. Will smiled into the collar of Mike’s jacket at the memory. Jonathan floated through the smattering of people, his camera flashing every once in a while. Joyce watched from her spot on the couch against the wall, hands over her heart as tears poured from her eyes. Her baby was all grown up and going off to live life. 

The reception began to settle down when Nancy had to take Holly home at ten. Ted and Karen didn’t know that she had attended and would be furious if she arrived after her curfew. Holly wanted to stay longer but left after Mike promised to call her more frequently when he was in New York. They parted with a nice hug. It was a day full of hugs, and why wouldn’t it be? Pure love often takes the form of hugs.

The Sinclair family was next. Erica had used all of her vacation days from her internship with the Governor of California and had to take a red-eye back that night. Sue and Charles kissed Mike on the cheek each and headed out to drive their daughter to the airport. Mike walked them out to their car, talking all the while, and kept them for another twenty minutes. He watched them drive down the gravel road, only mildly registering the click of a camera behind him.

Jonathan was stuck behind his camera all day and night, but the huge smile on his face told everyone that he didn’t mind. Plus, Argyle also took the camera from him so he could also enjoy the day, something Will asked him to do for his brother’s sake.

El had been coasting along, making sure everyone’s drinks were filled, and everyone was having a good time. All signs pointed to yes. She was in the kitchen, packing up all the dishes that had been left over. Jim came into the kitchen then, hands tucked into his pockets.

“How’s my baby?”

El smiled, pushing back some hair that had fallen out of her updo. It was longer than it had ever been, and she was finally using some products to enhance her natural wave pattern. Her father wrapped his arms around her from the side, pulling her into his chest. She smelled his cologne which hadn’t changed since she was ten.

“Are you happy it’s over?”

El hummed, tapping her nails on the counter.

“Sort of. I’m relieved that everything went well with no sort of… other disasters.”

The father-daughter duo gazed out the kitchen window into the darkness, the pergola just barely visible in the back of the yard. El had narrowed her eyes like she was searching for something. 

“But now I have nothing to inspire me for my next semester. Maybe I should make Nancy and Robin’s dresses.”

Jim chuckled, kissing the top of his daughter’s head. She laughed as well, wrapping her arms around his neck, still facing the window.

“Maybe. I’m sure they’d let you. They know how good you did with Will’s suit,” Jim said casually.

“Maybe,” El said with a yawn. “But for now, I just want to enjoy this wedding. There’s been a lot of them this year.”

“Is yours coming soon?”

El stepped away, mouth and nose wrinkling in that very special way that El moved her face. Jim resisted telling her what a cutie she was.

“I don’t know. I’m not sure it’s my thing.”

“That’s alright too.”

The celebration wouldn’t be complete without a dance with the mother of the groom. Will actually waltzed with his mother, teaching her the steps and laughing along. Mike watched from the sidelines, a cup of water in his hands. Argyle slides up, hand coming up to Mike’s opposite shoulder.

“How you feeling, my dude? Is it everything you imagined?”

Mike smiles into his cup and wraps an arm around Argyle, mimicking the other man’s pose. They’d become closer over the years, and of course, the wedding planning and obtaining a marriage license had forged a bond that couldn’t be broken as brothers-in-law. Mike looked out at Will catching his mom after she tripped over his feet again and felt his chest opening up for the first time since the wedding planning had begun several years ago.

“It’s great, man. I do sort of wish that my mom was here at least. I don’t feel like she’d miss this under normal circumstances,” Mike said into his cup.

“Yeah. Such is life though. But now that you’re a Byers, things will look all the way up, my man,” Argyle says with a grin. He’d braided his hair for the wedding, and he looked very nice in his dress shirt and slacks. While he’d been dancing, Mike pointed out to Will that he was wearing his favorite pair of rainbow socks for the occasion. 

“I can believe it, one hundred percent. I may have lost some of my family, but I’ve gained more.”

The celebration wouldn’t last much longer after that. Dustin had to be up early to catch his flight back to Texas tomorrow, and he was staying with Max and Lucas, so they all left as a trio. Mike made fun of his friend for not having any leeway with NASA, and Dustin only flipped him off after a hug. Max and Lucas would be returning home to California after a few more days with Lucas’ parents.

“See you soon. Call us when you have your new apartment. We’ll need to get the dice together,” Lucas said, pulling Mike close. In the time when Lucas and Mike shared a room, they had grown as close as brothers. Both young men still had their own siblings, but uniting best friends by the tragedy of Mike’s coming out meant so much.

“For sure. My campaign writing skills are a little rusty,” Mike said with a grin.

“Impossible. You never grow out of being a nerd,” Max said, sliding an arm around Lucas’ shoulders. “Plus, you’re gunning for the New York Times Bestseller list and you’ll make it.”

“Thanks, Mad Max.”

Max groaned as she pulled Mike into a hug, then the couple gave their affection and encouraging words to Will.

“If he says some annoying shit to you, you’re always welcome at our apartment.”

“Hey,” Mike said sharply. “Don’t steal my husband from me!”

“Keep yourself in check then, Wheeler,” Max shot back, punching him in the arm.

“Byers, actually,” Will said, grinning wide and so, so cute.

“Ugh, you two are impossible.”

When it was only the Byers-Hopper family left in the house, everyone pitched in with the cleaning. No one paid mind to the pergola outside because Joyce said she might want to put a seating area out there. The newlyweds had no problem with this.

“Good night, my beautiful boys,” Joyce said, squishing her son and new son-in-law to either of her cheeks. She was definitely a little tipsy, but her husband led her to bed for the night, wishing the boys well and to see them tomorrow for a celebratory breakfast at the diner.

The day had started and gradually grown louder, and in the same way, it grew quieter until there was only the singing of crickets accompanying the sounds of sleep in the Byers household. The newlyweds were shuffling about, trying to get comfortable in Will’s bed from high school. Mike was looking around the darkened room with fresh eyes, seeing how even four years away could change his entire worldview.

Will settled on top of Mike’s bare chest, Mike’s fingers tracing between the moles on his shoulders, while Will did the same with Mike’s freckles. Will looked into Mike’s eyes, which flashed from the moonlight outside. His eyes had turned into dark pools with scattered silver blossoms in them.

“I can’t believe we’re married, Mike.”

“Me either,” Mike whispered into Will’s hair.

“I meant what I said. I never thought I could have this, could have you.”

“We would have ended up together eventually, even if it took me longer to realize why El was the only girl I ever thought I liked.”

Will hummed, breathing in the scent of Mike’s skin and feeling such a sense of contentment fall over him that he would have fallen asleep right then and there if his husband hadn’t shifted again, nudging his shoulder.

“It’s like the other part you said in your vows,” Mike slurred, clearly becoming drowsy as well.

“Hmm?”

“How you said it was impossible to kid you that it happened but-“

“We’ve all seen stranger things,” Will joined in, lifting his chin to prop it up on Mike’s chest.

“Yeah, that.”

The couple fell asleep in this way, curled into each other and with promises of their new future together on the horizon when they woke.

#byler #byler fic #byler fanfic #byler fanfiction #i haven't posted fanfic on this account in years but this feels right somehow #stranger things #stranger thing fic #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things fanfic

[ophernelia]

hi i just wanted to ask if you could go more in depth about your creative process? how much work goes into lykaia and making content for other things like your logo etc. im making sims content too and i want to improve on it and make my stuff more original. so people know its me when i post. and i also wanted to say i saw you say before about not stepping on other creators toes and as a small creator i really appreciate that because i feel like a lot of people don’t make space for other people. sometimes everything feels like a competition in the sims community and that’s why other creators don’t like to give credit to people they actually get influenced by because they don’t want their numbers to grow only they own. And most time i don’t even want to post because of that

Hmmm. I’ll talk about my creative process for sure. I like talking about my creative process lol. It’s gonna be long tho so.. you asked for it.

Background: Lykaia at its core is just a cinematic version of my gameplay save. I had a story in my head while I played their household, but it was never fully planned out. The first season of Lykaia was just me practicing with storytelling and machinima making. I didn’t really have any direction. I just made things up as I went. Lou’s friends never existed in my gameplay save. I just made them for the machinima. A lot of it was just finding my footing as I went. What the story has become now, I never planned. It sorta just happened. As it is now, Lykaia’s a fully planned out series with a brittle back bone lol. It’s a whole lot of making something out of nothing.

Planning the Series & Making It: So, I have a full outline for the season. Where I want to go and how that can be developed on further. From that, I plan out the episodes. Right now I have a week where I film and a week off from filming. On my off week, I write the script. Scene by scene. I storyboard it to visualize how I want each scene to look. Once the script is done after a draft or two, then I start setting for filming. I get everyone dressed, moved into the households, and get the sets built. On the week I film, I just go in and film. I try to go in order of scenes but sometimes I jump around. Especially if I’m excited to film a scene. I do about two scenes a day. They take about an hour or so to film each. (I’ve got a full time job, a fur baby to care for, my family, and my social life so my time to work on it is limited. I try to budget it wisely.) Then I usually edit while I’m in bed or cooking. I edit on my phone so I’m not carrying around my pc lol. Editing takes the longest and it’s the most tedious part. I go in and add in the into, outro, title card, then I add in the scenes and the breaks. If I have to overlay something then I do that before audio. And the. I color grade each scene individually. Last thing to do is audio. I hate audio. I break it up scene by scene and mix some of the music myself depending on the episode. Once I do a quick check, the episode is done and ready to export. Sometimes I pick the title beforehand, but I usually don’t come up with a name until after the full episode is done.

The Brand: Ophernelia and Kiricheu are a brand. (Ophernelia being like the parent company in a sense) Especially Ophernelia since I have a Patreon for it. I run Ophernelia as a sole proprietor, so branding is important for me. Anything I have my hand in, I take seriously. (“It’s just sims content” Sure. For now at least. Doesn’t mean ima take it any less seriously lol) Especially since I’ve curated an audience and one that pays. Idc if it’s $2. It’s money spent, so I want my audience to get quality content. Branding’s been tough because I’m super indecisive lol. I like to change things up constantly but when it comes to like a company type of thing, you shouldn’t really do that. Which is why I hate changing mine. Especially once I find something that works. It makes me feel like I’m failing my audience by not being consistent. As of now though, I love my branding. I feel like it reflects my content style really well. It took a few tries to make. I looked through old art I’ve done and tried to combine it with my current style. Somehow I came up with how it looks currently. I think it’s pretty, I wanna stick with it. It took a while to get here, but 8 months later, here we are. I’ve been trying to rely a little less on external programs (like canva) and more on me actually making my stuff myself. So I hopped into procreate and got to work lol.

Ultimately, I just make stuff I like and sometimes I like to share it with other people. And when I do share it, I try to do it to the best of my ability and while trying to be mindful of others. It’s hard and idk if I do it well but I’m trying! The process of getting there is almost always enjoyable. Almost lol.

#text post #asks

[cinemainamerica]

Movie Chronicles

 

Movies are a big part of my childhood and still important to me today. Movie days are something that my Mom and I cherish and still do our best to make time for.

When writing my list of twenty movies it was challenging for me to narrow my fundamental movie list down to only twenty movies. After many challenges of trying to pick between two movies that mean so much to me, and a lot of careful consideration I was able to construct my list. 

AGE 3-9: Mamma Mia!, High School Musical, Cinderella, Uptown Girls, The Mighty Ducks

AGE 10-13: Greece, Coat of Many Colors, Legally Blonde, Mean Girls, Big Daddy

AGE 14-16: Grown Ups, The Blind Side, A Walk to Remember, How to lose a Guy in 10 Days, We are Marshall

AGE 16-18: Barbie Movie, Walk the Line, Athlete A, Miracle, Home Team

When starting this project and writing out my list of movies the first movie on my list was Mamma Mia and funny enough when I asked my Mom to write a list for me, the same movie was number one on her list. I was born in 2004, thus making me four years old when this movie was released. When I was younger, I had a hard time sitting through movies that did not offer lots of singing and dancing and my Mom still likes to remind me of this to this day. My mom recalls playing me Mamma Mia! for the first time, and says I instantly was hooked. She would often try to play other movies for me and saw that I was not paying attention and would switch me over to watching Mamma Mia!. I would watch the movie and sing and dance along with the actors, and that is a core memory that I hold with me today.

I was captivated by the scenery that the movie is placed in, and from a young age I have dreamed about traveling to Greece and am ecstatic that I have the opportunity this upcoming summer! Mamma Mia! holds a special place in my heart because of the huge role it played in my childhood, and to this day when asked what my favorite movie is, I will answer with Mamma Mia! 

AGE 3-9: Mamma Mia!, High School Musical, Nim's Island, Hannah Montana: the Movie, Mary Poppins

AGE 10-13: Maid Of Honor, Dolphin Tail, Legally Blonde, Mean Girls, Sweet Home Alabama,

AGE 14-16: Grown Ups, Monte Carlo, Grown Ups 2, How to lose a Guy in 10 Days, The Perfect Man

AGE 16-18: The Longest Ride, Walk the Line, Athlete A, Miracle, The Blind Side 

Above is the list that my mom created, our lists share a lot of the same moves, but hers included different ones as well. When reading her list for the first time there were a lot of movies that I had completely forgotten about, but seeing the names sent me right back to watching them when I was younger. She reminded me of the times my dad and I would sit in the back tv room and watch Nim’s Island, or the long car rides to North Carolina and I would be in the backseat watching Dolphin Tail on repeat. The movie that I still cannot believe I forgot to include on my list is the Hannah Montana Movie. My Mom, Dad, and I went to the theaters to watch it when it first came out, and the theater was packed, we could barely find seats together but it was so special to me that my dad went with us to watch it because I think there were maybe two other dads in the whole theater.

Another movie we both included on our list was Grown Ups. Growns Ups was the movie that made me realize how much I genuinely enjoy the comedy genre. I cherish the fact that I can put this movie on, escape from the world around me and just laugh. I love watching movies or shows that make me laugh because it truly puts me in a better mood. It also resonated with me that even though they are grown men with families they have the ability to reunite with each other and go back in time and just act like kids again.

I hope this is something that I am able to do with my childhood friends when we grow older. When I am in a sad mood I do often find myself turning this movie on because it takes me back not only to the sleepover at McKenna’s the first time I watched it, but how it has a way of taking me out of the negative headspace and cheering me up. 

From a young age I loved Dolly Parton, my first memory of her is being on a Hannah Montana episode and from that moment I was hooked. I loved the way she was so put together, always had a fabulous outfit, and was such a sweet person. When my mom saw she had a movie coming out she knew we had to watch it as a family. We were sitting on the couch waiting for the movie to air on NBC and I was ecstatic. From the first seconds of the movie I was instantly hooked. The movie was able to represent that even though you might not be wealthy in money you can make up for it with love. Although I am not one of twelve children, it taught me to wear my heart on my sleeve and be thankful for all I have and all my parents have provided for me. 

After watching the movie it also showed me that you can chase and follow your dream and there are no excuses that can be used to hold you back. To this day, my family and I all sit on the couch around christmas time and watch the movie. With us watching it around the holidays, it reminds me to be grateful for everything I am blessed with and most importantly to love one another. 

Until completing the list of my top twenty most fundamental movie lists, I never really thought about how much movies can really teach you. They can teach you to laugh, be grateful for everything you have, and even just how to relax and spend time with family. I truly could not imagine how different my life would be if I did not have those movies to grow up with and still cherish to this day. 

“Dolly Parton’s Coat of Many Colors.” IMDb, IMDb.com, 10 Dec. 2015, www.imdb.com/title/tt4767274/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1. 

“Grown Ups.” IMDb, IMDb.com, 25 June 2010, www.imdb.com/title/tt1375670/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0_tt_8_nm_0_q_grown%2520ups. 

“Mamma Mia!” IMDb, IMDb.com, 18 July 2008, www.imdb.com/title/tt0795421/. 

[suckitsurveys]

What’s your favorite amusement park? Do waterparks count? If so, then the Wilderness Resort in Wisconsin Dells.

Do you know your social security number (or equivalent) off by heart? Yeah.

What would you take to a potluck dinner? So funny story: when I was a kid, we used to have “pot luck” day in elementary school as a way to encourage kids to bring their lunches to share or some crap, but they also had to have a hot lunch prepared for kids who couldn’t bring lunch from home. They would always serve these rib sandwiches during those days, so for the longest time, I thought that’s what “pot luck” was. One day my mom took me to this thing at the community center and she called it “pot luck” and when I got there I asked her where the rib sandwiches were and she was like, what the heck are you talking about? Hahahah. 

Do you have any sisters? How is your relationship with them? I have an older sister. We have a decent relationship but it’s been kinda strained since she’s had children. I feel more like a babysitter or just an extra set of hands to her now. I’m never a priority. I’m not asking to always be one; I know her kids come first, but like, I am a part of her family and she just never makes me feel important to her, even when I do SO much for her and her kids.

When was the last time you changed your hair and what did you do to it? I had it dyed pink and got a layer look back in....February, I wanna say? I need to get it done again but I might hold out until right before Lollapalooza.

What’s the most romantic thing you’ve ever done? Uhhhhhh I don’t know, ask my husband what he considers romantic.

Do you listen to audiobooks? If so, what was the last one you listened to and did you like it? No. I’ve really thought about it, honestly, especially since I’ve been going to the gym more and more.

Describe yourself in five words. Funny, loyal, emotional, compassionate, clever.

What was your favorite class in high school? Social Sciences or Art classes.

When was the last time you did laundry? Yesterday.

Do you own a leather jacket? Do you wear it often? No.

Can you get Chinese food from a drive-thru in your town? Uhhhh not that I know of. There might be a Panda Express somewhere with a drive through, but I wouldn’t know because I rarely eat there.

If you could choose your middle name, what would you pick? I’ve always liked my middle name. I think it suites me well and I like the reason behind my parents choosing it. I’m named after the Czech tennis player Martina Navratilova. She was in the Wimbledon championship the year I was born and my dad thought it was so cool that a Czech player was so popular. His family is Czech and he wanted my name to have a connection to that. It was originally supposed to be my first name, but my mom liked Hannah better, so it became my middle name.

Would you rather see a sunrise or sunset? Sunset. Though growing up on an East-facing body of water as made me appreciate sunrises sometimes too.

Do you have any plans to buy any furniture in the near future? Yes. We need a new mattress so bad.

When you go to bed, do you go to sleep straight away? For the most part.

What do you do for a living? Provide electronic access to doors for people on a college campus.

Do you own a suitcase? When was the last time you used it? Where did you go? Yes. I took it to Boston this past February when I went to see Sarah. I actually got it in 2011 when I first flew out to see her, lol. I’ve been really wanting a new one because it’s such an ugly color and my cats scratched it up.

How many pets have you had in your life? 12, if I am remembering correctly.

Is there any soda in your fridge right now? There’s sparkling water, which is Mark’s.

Do you call it soda, pop, fizzy drink or something else entirely? Pop.

Do you need to get any groceries right now? What do you need? Uhhhhhhh I can’t think of anything right now. We will need stuff this weekend though.

If I was visiting your town, what would you take me to see and do? BRO there’s so much to do in Chicago but I really like architecture boat tours on the river and going up to the John Hancock. It such a great way to see the city from two different angles. Also, food. Lots and lots of food.

What was the last thing you spent money on? Gas.

What subscription services do you have? Pretty much all of them in one way or another.

Do you like olives? Most of them. I’m not a huge fan of Kalamata olives, though.

Would you rather be too warm or too cold? I mean, when you’re cold, you can always put layers on.

What’s your favorite name for a girl? I love Josephine/Josie. And Cecelia. And Alex. And Stella.

How do you make your coffee? With our fancy coffee maker, and then I add cream.

Do you know anyone who has a matching tattoo with someone? (including yourself)? I have four matching tattoos with people; a Bojack and a Brendon from Home Movies with my friend Sarah, birds in a tree with my sister, and heart-shaped sunglasses with my friend Ellen.

#surveys

[pqrachel]

I posted 165 times in 2022

That's 83 more posts than 2021!

162 posts created (98%)

3 posts reblogged (2%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@purrlstar

@sweetpeauserboxes

@codiferus

I tagged 163 of my posts in 2022

Only 1% of my posts had no tags

#digital - 82 posts

#fullcolor - 35 posts

#screenshots - 29 posts

#blanksford - 28 posts

#4if - 26 posts

#justsometext - 25 posts

#traditional - 21 posts

#pokemon - 19 posts

#colostle - 19 posts

#life is strange - 15 posts

Longest Tag: 49 characters

#yesiknowthisisnt10butiwannakeepitinthattaganyways

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

This was originally gonna be a part of a #SixFanarts challenge where I draw 6 characters I’ve never drawn before but I didn’t like that I completely copied the poses of all the characters I chose, and I want to be more original when I do that challenge because I think it’s really cool ...and I need practice doing original compositions anyways. (I even color picked directly from the game and oh my gosh what even is color theory, like why is his skin purple here?)

But yeah here’s Cove from “Our Life: Beginnings and Always!”

Definitely my favorite visual novel. I chose this scene because even though it’s the very first scene with Cove it’s still one of my favorites. I’ve been a neurodivergent kid out on a hill in my neighborhood just like this and I resonated so hard with Cove from the very beginning.

I never talked about the game on the blog because I went to make a post about it after my original playthrough and it ended up being a huge rambly mess. Then when all the DLC came out I replayed it again and got to marry Cove and it was perfect and went to post about it again, and that one was even longer somehow. So just know I super love Our Life and I’m very excited for the sequel.

Though I probably won’t be playing the Our Life 1 non-Cove DLC content when it comes out because I love Seaweed Babe too much. Like you give me this entire super fulfilling life with Cove and I get to marry him at the end, then you expect me to play through it again, see the precious lad, and not get swept back up into loving him all over again, like how?

6 notes - Posted May 17, 2022

#4

Birb

8 notes - Posted May 13, 2022

#3

As a part of my continued effort to be a video game character, I quickly dove into Monster Prom’s modtools and made a quick event where you can say hi to me in the cafeteria. It’s nothing much but I still enjoyed making it and being in-universe.

Here’s the link in case anyone wants to say hi.

11 notes - Posted May 22, 2022

#2

I’ve really enjoyed the SandD tier content started by lighthouseraiders on TikTok. I’ve been kind of busy doing animations and the Colostle journal stuff so I didn’t finish these but I still really enjoyed making it.

Huge thanks to jdstorm and nerdicorn_the_shipper (also on TikTok), their SandDtier cosplays were the main inspirations I used for these sketches.

I really would’ve liked to do more with them but maybe later I guess.

12 notes - Posted January 20, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I’m taking a bit of a break from ArtFight to do a quick drawing challenge for @lif3-0n-m4rs. I saw the post and really liked both the drawing and the character so I decided to give it a go. I had a lot of fun with it!

Original Post: https://lif3-0n-m4rs.tumblr.com/post/690218739345571840/

16 notes - Posted July 19, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[ahundredtimesover]

Inevitable (03) | JJK

Pairing: Jungkook x (f.) Reader (ft. ot6)

Genre/Tags: exes au, parents au, baseball player!JK; angst, fluff, smut (18+)

Series Warnings: foul language, alcohol consumption, minor character death, explicit sexual content in future chapters (oral, unprotected/protected sex but be safe please!)

Chapter Word count: 7.7k

Summary: You convinced Jungkook to break up years ago so he could pursue his lifelong baseball dream. Now he’s back home, staring at you, and the little boy next to you who looks unmistakably like him.

A/N: I do love me some angst but I enjoy writing soft moments just as much. I hope you enjoy this one, too! Thank you for the appreciation for this story :) Also, you can message me if you want to be part of the taglist (or if I missed tagging you)!

Series Masterlist || Previous || Next

##

The place that Jungkook chose is a little French cafe that has a light and airy feel to it, and you think it’ll help Jungwon feel a little less intimated. There also aren’t many people around, which is surprising for a Saturday brunch hour. 

You make out the table far back, by the glass window where you can see the flowers outside. Next to Jungkook is Jin, then Namjoon and Ara. The empty seats reserved for you and Jungwon are those in front of Jungkook and beside him.

You approach them, with everyone except for Jungkook - who just nods at you - standing up to give you a hug, with Jin spending more time than usual. With everything that’s happened, you didn’t realize how much you’ve missed your friends, too. They were collaterals of this whole ordeal; now you’re glad that you feel like starting over with them as well.

Jungwon stands behind you, arms wrapped around your waist when Jin comes close. He’s an unfamiliar face so it’s natural for the little one to be shy and hide behind you, like what he usually does, but he loosens up when you talk to him and make him feel comfortable, so you excuse yourself because you want him to feel comfortable around Jungkook.

You find an empty chair by the wall and sit Jungwon there.

“Hey sweetcheeks, we’re going to meet some of Mama’s friends, okay? They’re new people but they’re very kind and funny,” you say, kneeling down in front of him. 

You get the brown backpack he’s wearing and take out his stuffed elephant, one of his many playmates that he likes to bring around. You place Mr. Choochoo in his arms, explain to him what you’ll do and that he can have some sweets later. 

“Okay, Mama. I want some cookies,” he says in his tiny voice. 

You tell him you’ll order some and pinch his cheeks, then you kiss his forehead, causing him to giggle, and you kiss him some more because you know this also makes him feel relaxed. 

Jungkook watches from afar, the pang on his chest reminding him of the time lost, and he wonders if he’ll ever be like that with his own son. Jungwon is at a critical stage where trust is being developed, and Jungkook wants to be someone whom his son can trust. 

The feeling in his chest grows as you approach them again. You give him a smile and help seat Jungwon next to his father.

“You remember the other day when you broke your airplane? Someone fixed it for you, right?” You ask.

Jungwon nods, eyes still focused on you.

“Good, because he’s here. Look,” you say, pointing to Jungkook. “He’s the kind man who helped you.”

Jungwon turns and looks at Jungkook, who returns his curious gaze with a grin. The little one is probably familiarizing himself with the man in front of him, as he nods and shyly smiles. 

“Hi, buddy. I’m Jungkook,” he says and waves. “What’s your name?”

“Jungwon,” he whispers.

“How old are you?”

He responds by raising his hand to show four fingers. 

“And when’s your birthday?”

“July 6!” Right as he answers, it registers to him, causing him to beam, the kind that reaches his cheeks and Jungkook’s heart is soaring. And just like that, the pang in his chest is gone.

You mirror Jungwon’s smile, knowing that’s enough of an icebreaker. He’s a sensitive kid who remembers kindness, and that day at the grocery, he saw it in Jungkook. You could chalk it up to some father-son connection if you like, but you also know that Jungwon tends to gravitate towards other gentle people, too.

The brunch goes surprisingly well, with Namjoon directing the conversations, knowing that it would still take some time to really settle into what was once familiar. 

Days like this used to be a weekly engagement filled with jokes and unfiltered comments and hand holding between you and Jungkook, but everyone seems to be careful, reserved, almost unsure, like the glass will break at any wrong move. 

Perhaps you’re all just giving this time for both father and son to be familiar and comfortable with each other. You know it will take a while but it’s something you don’t mind at all. 

Jin is talking about his recent trip to Japan and his new ideas for another restaurant and you’re engrossed in his stories, until soft laughter catches your attention. 

You turn to Jungwon, who’s laughing at Jungkook as he uses the macarons for eyes and makes weird faces, the latter pulling the sweets apart into smaller pieces and giving them to Jungwon who easily chews them. He offers Jungkook pieces of his cookies too, who dramatically devours them.

“My cookies!” Jungwon giggles.

You soften at the sight and excuse yourself before tears pour out and you will yourself to get it together in the washroom. You knew it was going to be a heartwarming proper meeting of the two but you weren’t ready for that kind of moment. 

For all his shyness, Jungwon seems to be really comfortable with Jungkook, who’s doing so well, too, letting your child take the lead, not forcing anything, and being his usual sweet self. 

Soon enough, brunch is over and you inform them of having to leave right away to make it to Jungwon’s dentist appointment in time. You place him in the car seat and turn to Jungkook, who’s now able to properly look at you, probably for the first time this whole day.

He opens his mouth to say something but his eyes lock in on your neck instead, a familiar piece of jewelry gracing the delicate feature. He stills and you’re confused, until you realize he’s looking at the necklace you’re wearing, the one with the moon and stars that he’d given you on your first year anniversary. 

He told you that it was because you light his darkest nights and you squirmed at the cheesiness, smacking his arm and threatening him of getting rid of it if he ever spewed disgusting shit like that again. He loved that reaction, but deep down, you both knew that he was telling the truth. 

It was that piece of him you could keep to yourself, one you didn’t have to share nor explain to anyone else. Out of everything you kept of your time together, the necklace was the only thing that didn’t make you break down every time.

You keep your thoughts at bay then nod at him and ask him what he meant to say.

“I’d really like to do this more,” he utters, eyes on your face now. “And not just on weekends. Whenever we can work out a schedule, that would be great. I mean, he and I have so much to—“

“Of course, Jungkook,” you cut him off, knowing he meant to say that there’s so much time to make up for and you don’t want today’s meeting to end on that note. “Let’s work something out, I’m sure Jungwon would love that, too.”

You exchange numbers, as well as awkward smiles, like you’re some teenagers saying goodbye on their first date. It’s a little refreshing though - way better than the last time when he was shouting and crying in front of you. 

Any passerby may think it’s the makings of a romantic relationship, but if they only knew. You loved this man, and quite frankly, you’re unsure if you ever stopped.

“I’ll see you again, yeah?” You finally say.

“Okay then. I’ll see you.”

**

It’s not lost on you and Jungkook that you’re both on very unfamiliar territory. 

During your time together, you’d had moments wherein you weren’t particularly fond of each other or weren’t in the mood yet had been comfortable in the silence. The tension was never overwhelming and you just let the moment pass until all was good again. 

The longest fight you had lasted for 3 days. Yoongi called for a celebratory dinner over his song making it to the top of the charts and you were ignoring Jungkook, who sat next to you talking to your other friends. 

It was  an hour later when he eventually pulled you in a hug, and whispered that he missed you and won’t be drinking banana milk for a whole week as punishment for accidentally deleting your entire midterm paper. You caved in then, laughed and deemed it punishment enough, and spent the rest of the night working on said paper in your dorm, a behaved Jungkook playing mobile games next to you.

When it came to both of you, no silence was too loud, no conversation was ever unwanted, and no moment was ever too tense and uncomfortable. 

Except for that time in your apartment. 

And maybe now, when you’re both seated in front of each other, Jungwon to your left and of all times, decided that he just has to finish coloring the butterfly from his art class. There are two seats that have been empty the past 15 minutes, and you and Jungkook have been engulfed in the most awkward silence there is, even with the background chatter of the restaurant you’re in.

Days after the brunch and official meet up almost two weeks ago, Jungkook had asked to grab dinner - you picked up Jungwon from daycare after you were off at 6PM and headed to the restaurant with Taehyung in tow, only to find Jimin accompanying his best friend. Two days later, the same thing happened, only with Namjoon and Jin that time. 

The Sunday after that, you had both Namjoon and Taehyung with you - because your brother wouldn’t confirm immediately and you needed a backup - as you and Jungwon walked to the park, only to find Jin and Jimin there as well. Everyone, of course, burst out laughing but neither you nor Jungkook found it funny. 

“What are we, your chaperones?” Jin had asked then, laughing at the whole situation upon realizing what you and Jungkook had both been up to, calling up friends to join you on the weekly father-and-son dates. “You’re both adults who can very well manage conversations, don’t you think?” Jin continued.

You and Jungkook had shyly stolen glances at each other, nervous to be caught looking at the other’s reaction, because Jin had been right. You can only wonder what Jungkook's reasons are but you were calling them up to accompany you because you don’t actually know how to carry a conversation with Jungkook anymore. 

You don’t know what to say that isn’t an apology, you’re nervous to talk about Jungwon and make Jungkook feel bad again for how much he’s missed out on, and you can’t really talk about yourself because this isn’t about you - it’s about your son and the relationship he needs to develop with his father.

Never mind the feeling of longing, of the curiosity over what made Jungkook come home, of the interest in his life in the US and how he’s been doing. 

Never mind that you want to hug him because everything has been overwhelming and Jungkook always knew how to make you feel better with his hugs and caresses. You don’t have that right anymore, you think. You don’t have the right to ask about his life after you broke his heart, you don’t have the right to miss him, nor to get to know him all over again. 

You need your brother and your best friend not just to carry conversations but also as support when you feel weak, as you observe Jungwon be so natural around his father. 

Jungkook had only introduced himself by his name but Jungwon had taken to calling him Cookie Monster since their moment during that first brunch. No uncle, no anything, and you hope it stays that way. 

Jungkook had also been bringing different brands of chocolate milk and you’d overheard him describe the taste and texture like a 4 year old would understand, and Jungwon had been asking you to buy each brand that Jungkook had introduced. 

You'd heard him ask your son about his favorite animals, what he likes to eat when he’s sad or happy, and what his favorite bedtime stories are. You’d felt your heart balloon in size at this, how careful and thoughtful Jungkook still is, how gentle and caring, and how careful, seeing as he stops himself from ruffling Jungwon’s hair or engulfing him in a hug. 

You felt like crying when you’d seen your son answer every question with enthusiasm then ask Jungkook the same things, too, and even more when he finishes coloring and tugs Jungkook to ask if he likes it.

It’s those moments that break and hold you up at the same time. It hurts to be reminded of what you deprived them of but it’s also comforting to see how natural everything has been for them. 

Jungwon is shy but gravitates towards those he connects with, that he feels comfortable around, people who are like him. It’s why he’s very fond of Taehyung, and why he runs to Namjoon to be carried on his shoulder or to be tossed in the air because your brother may be serious yet clumsy but he’s careful and gentle when it comes to your son.

You used to think that if you hadn’t been a single parent, Jungwon wouldn’t be as close to you, seeing your lack of gentleness. You’d only learned to be so because you’d treated him like a fragile being, out of the fear of what would’ve happened if the fetal distress wasn’t detected as early as it was. If anything, your son has taught you to be more tender, affectionate, more loving.

You cried so many nights in the room you shared with him, and you wanted to believe that his lack of crying as an infant was because he was giving you the time and space for it, that it was okay. He was quiet, barely caused trouble, and you also believed it was his way of telling you that you can depend on him not to make things too hard, too. You’d held him so tightly every night as he grew older, and he learned to do the same. 

In the moments that he'd caught you breaking down because of work or other things, he’d climb on your lap and hug and kiss you until you stopped crying. Like that one time when you randomly went on social media and saw the engagement rumors between Jungkook and Korean-American model-actress Maia Park. It was two years ago. It’s what also convinced you to finally, finally let Jungkook go and move on. 

Jungwon hugged you until he fell asleep, and you hugged him even tighter, as the hope of you three being a complete family died that day. Since then, you’d stopped checking social media and stopped religiously following the Dodgers’ games, only using them as background noise since Jungwon somehow found throwing and hitting balls amusing. Like father, like son, you used to think. 

You don’t realize you’d reminisced again until your phone beeps, the same time as Jungkook’s does. You’ve been in this restaurant for over 15 minutes and your friends are never late.

“Jimin says that he was asked to stay for costume fitting,” Jungkook says, reading the text message.

“Taehyung says that he tripped on a block and ended up splashing the entire paint can he was holding on his wall and it looks like the shape of a pretty tree and now he’s filled with inspiration and wants to repaint it,” you say in one breath, causing Jungkook to laugh at your deep exhale after.

“Hmm, very original,” he says.

“Very Taehyung, you mean. At least Jimin’s excuse is more believable,” you answer back.

“Well, they pulled the stops tonight, didn’t they? Reminds me of that time when Yoongi treated all of us because his song topped the charts. He said that he actually just had a minimal role and that wasn’t a cause for a celebration,” Jungkook shrugs. “You’d been mad at me for days and I kept complaining so they admitted setting it up so we could see each other.”

“Are you serious? All this time? I was so proud of Yoongi for that, kept bragging to my friends that he was big time because of that song,” you laugh, willing your heart to not go overboard with its beating because the most that Jungkook has spoken to you when he wasn’t angry, it’s to recall a memory of you together. 

“Well, they tricked us then but they’re very transparent right now.”

You laugh again and you pinch yourself for overreacting to not-so-funny statements. You hate that even after all this time, Jungkook still makes you feel giddy. Now, there’s just an added desire for him to pay attention, for you to impress him, a complete opposite of how you started years ago.

It’s silent for a while, and you and Jungkook turn to Jungwon at the same time, probably thinking the same thing that the kid will be your distraction but his eyes have been focused on the butterfly, and he’s not budging. Not even when you ask how he’s doing because he just replies with a hum and you know that’s code for don’t disturb me, I’m busy. 

“We should order,” Jungkook finally says, and it takes another couple of minutes before you both decide on what you’ll have. 

With no other source of distraction, Jungkook settles on making the first move.

“So… how are things? How’s work?” He asks, sipping on his glass of water like it’s the tastiest thing in the world.

“Good. I, uhm, work for an events management company so we do parties, fundraisers, bazaars, things like that. It’s a lot of work but my boss is very kind and lets me take some days off to compensate for working on weekends and stuff,” you respond, willing yourself to be more comfortable.

“Oh, so it’s not the marketing firm anymore, that’s great. Namjoon said you worked over 12 hours then and I can’t imagine how tiring that must be.”

“You talked to my brother… about me?” You ask, trying not to read into it much. You assumed they only talked about meeting Jungwon, but Namjoon never mentioned anything more and you wonder why.

“Yeah, I just, uh…” Jungkook stammers, trying to come up with an excuse but he knows you’ll see right through him.

“I just asked how things were for you during uh, the pregnancy, and after.”

“Why?”

“I just wanted to know if there were any issues with Jungwon’s birth, you know? Wanted to know if he got everything he needed…”

You wince at the insinuation that you wouldn’t make sure that Jungwon would get everything he needed and Jungkook picks up on this and tries to save himself before it’s too late, before you think he’s an asshole for making such an assumption.

“I mean, of course he did. Not that I don’t think you didn’t make sure he got the best of everything.”

“I tried my best, Jungkook, and you’ve spent time with Jungwon. He’s doing well, I’d like to think that has much to do with how I raised him,” you say, your tone a mix of sadness and anger. You never had to defend yourself for how you raised your child, especially not to his father. But you also can’t blame Jungkook, especially when you’re the one who didn’t make him a part of your son’s life. 

“I know, he’s such a smart and kind child. I didn’t mean to imply that you didn’t do your best. That came out wrong, I’m sorry,” he says, and you believe him. “I guess I just wanted to ask if there was anything lacking or that needed extra attention so I’d know what to compensate for, like medical bills or vitamins or other things?” 

He’s right, and it makes sense. It definitely has nothing to do with him asking how you were doing, how the pregnancy and the aftermath was like for you. 

“What about school? Other activities like sports or art clubs? Maybe he’s into music, we can enroll him in—”

“Jungkook…”

“Please don’t tell me not to help financially because you know I will. Not just because I’m obligated to but because I want to,” he sighs.

“Yeah, I guess we need to talk about that…” You say nervously.

“I can cover everything he needs. Does he need to switch to a better school? He’ll be in primary school next year, right? Are there other toys he wants? Maybe I can—“

“I’m doing perfectly fine in providing those, Jungkook. He doesn’t need ‘more’ or ‘better.’”

“I’m not saying you aren’t, I’m just saying I can help so that…”

He holds your gaze, knowing he can’t make you feel like he’s antagonizing you. When he asked Namjoon what you went through, he admits he wanted to feel some form of pity, as if to mask or replace the overwhelming feeling of pain and anger. Anything would’ve been better than those. 

After that, the feeling turned to sadness, to helplessness, like defeat, knowing there was nothing he could’ve done to make it easier for you, to make you understand that you didn’t have to do it all by yourself just because you made a decision all on your own.

Having spent even just a short amount of time with Jungwon, he knows that his son was very much loved, was given all the best things in the world and that’s because of you - you who refused to give him less, you who worked so hard and gave everything you could, running on the sheer amount of love you have for your child even if things were difficult. Jungkook doesn’t want you to feel alone, especially in providing for Jungwon. 

What Namjoon said hit him, how you only ever asked help if it was about your son, but never when it was about you. Jungkook knows you still wouldn’t, so he’ll make sure to ease the financial burden, the worry, the stress, the amount of time you spend taking care of your child that’s taken away from the time you spend taking care of yourself. 

Because he’s noticed - he’s noticed the bags under your eyes, the slight shaking of your hands that’s probably from the excessive amount of caffeine intake, your work phone that constantly buzzes even when you’re off the clock, your consumption of sodas that signifies your heightened stress. 

There’s a droopiness to your face, a mark of tiredness that’s laid permanent residence in your whole being. He doesn’t even wanna ask when the last time you had proper rest was. 

“I’m saying I can and want to help so you can have time for yourself, too,” he continues. “So you won’t feel the need to clock in extra hours or take extra jobs, so you can have actual time of not worrying about anything. I mean, kids can sense if their parents are stressed and they can acquire that...”

Your eyes widen at his statement again, causing him to pinch the bridge of his nose in frustration because he’s really not saying this the way he wants to, but then he also doesn’t know how to tell you these things without him sounding like he believes you’re not good enough for Jungwon. Because you are, more than he can imagine. 

“I’m terrible at this,” Jungkook says.

But you laugh. You laugh because he looks stressed and worried over what he’s telling you but you get him. Mad as he was a few weeks ago, you know he’d never harbor such terrible feelings towards you to the point of doubting your capabilities as a mother. 

You wish he means more, though, but you settle for this. He will help in all ways he can because he doesn’t want you to be too stressed out. Jungwon is at the age where he can pick these things up; your habits are things he can acquire and you don’t want that.

“It’s okay, I understand,” you smile, and it’s the softest one you’ve given Jungkook since he’s arrived. 

“Jungwon will be starting primary school next year so there’s this kindergarten I saw; they balance the learning with the arts really well and they do a lot of field trips and I think it’s a good transition to first grade.”

“That sounds really good. So that’s where you plan to enroll him this fall?”

“Yeah. It’s private though, and it’s affiliated with the primary school I was hoping to enroll him in next year, that’s also private. I was gonna get a loan from the bank and—”

“I’ll take care of it, don’t worry. I can take care of his fees in kindergarten and daycare too, if you don’t mind.”

“That’s too much, Jungkook.”

“It’s not. You’ve worked too hard the past 5 years. You can take care of the other essentials because you know him best. Let me take care of the others, and vitamins too and check ups and stuff. Please.”

He’s insistent and you know he won’t budge. You also know it’s his right and obligation to do all this.

“Okay, then. Whatever I save can go to his college fund.”

“Which I’ll also be contributing to…”

“Yes, that’s correct,” you smile. 

The food arrives and the silence isn’t as suffocating. It’s a first step, deciding on the financial aspect of raising your child. You know there are many others, but there’s definitely one very important one to discuss.

Jungkook clears his throat and peeks at Jungwon who’s busy with his stew, mindless of the others around him, with you constantly wiping his cheeks and reminding him to drink his water. You turn to Jungkook with a curious gaze.

“When can we uh, tell him about me?”

Of course. When will you tell your son that Cookie Monster is actually his father? 

“Oh, uhm. Well. He’s definitely comfortable around you already. But I think it’ll take some more time. I don’t wanna rush him because it’s big news since it’s just been me and his uncle Taehyung and uncle Namjoon for a long time and…”

“No one else?”

“What do you mean, no one else? I mean of course there’s Jimin but they don’t see each other as much and…”

“You know what I mean,” he says softly, as if he doesn’t want to directly say it.

“Oh. Uhm. Well, I dated someone before but like, it wasn’t—“

“Did he want to be Jungwon’s father? Did Jungwon like him?”

“I don’t introduce men I go out with to Jungwon, Jungkook. I mean, the men know I have a son but I never introduce them.”

“Why not?”

“Why do you need to ask? It’s only you. It’s always just gonna be you.” 

“Has he asked about… me?”

“Just twice. He’s curious but he doesn’t dwell on it.”

Jungkook just nods, taking everything in.

“I always planned on telling you, Jungkook. I hope you know that. I just needed the right time, and I had to figure it out especially after your en…” You pause, hoping not to open this can of worms because things are already going well.

“My what?”

“Your supposed engagement with…”

“Those were rumors, ___. We were never engaged, never planned on it,” he corrects.

“So you two aren’t…?”

“We broke up over a year ago.”

You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding in.

“Relieved?” He smirks.

“Just thought that, you know, Jungwon will have another mother and he’ll call her like, Mommy or Mother or something and she might be more fun and gorgeous and—“

“Hey,” Jungkook interrupts your rambling. He chooses not to comment on your now glassy eyes, which stare at his hand that’s found itself on top of yours. He immediately removes it and calls for you to look at him.

“That’s not happening, okay? And if I did marry someone else, that woman will just be a stepmother by name. You’re Jungwon’s mother, the only one. No one will be more fun and gorgeous in his eyes, you got that?”

“Yeah,” you mumble. “Thank you.”

You decide to dial it back before your thoughts go elsewhere. “But going back to your question, let’s play it by ear, is that okay? He’s very attentive so he’ll maybe ask more about you one day. I also don’t want to rush him.”

“Sure, I mean. I don’t wanna scare him away too. We’ve been making progress.”

“I know! He’s very natural around you.”

“Doesn’t mind me when he’s coloring or eating, though,” Jungkook pouts.

“You’re not alone in that,” you laugh. “This one time, he was coloring this picture of a unicorn and I was trying to get his attention because it had been a long day and I wanted a hug and he shushed me and told me to be quiet. Like, this little kid really shushed me, huh?”

“Is he really as sweet as we believe him to be?” Jungkook laughs.

“Actually, when he was finished, he went to my lap and hugged and kissed me, told me not to be sad anymore.”

“Okay I’ll never doubt him again,” he smiles.

“And then there was one time, I baked muffins and I asked him to try so he was nibbling the edges, then the crown. And he was taking his time! And I kept asking if it was good and he was just humming until there was just the center left that had some chocolate custard and he ate it in one bite and was just smiling at me then…”

You pause at Jungkook’s longing smile, the kind where he’s happy but also wishes he’d been there.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t…”

“No, no. Please. I wanna hear these stories. Don’t hold back. Don’t mind how I react,” Jungkook explains. “At least I won’t have to imagine how he was like growing up.”

Your heart warms at this, at the shift from the angry man the other week to one who’s now softening at the stories of your son, something that’s making you feel a hundred times better. 

Jungkook meant it when he said that he just wants to focus on what happens next. He’s spent so many sleepless nights thinking about the night of the break up, what went wrong, how different things would be, all the what if’s in your relationship, and in his relationship with his son. 

He has let himself feel all the negative emotions towards you and he didn’t like it, didn’t like that he could feel all that for the woman who’d been his world, his light, the love of his life. He doesn’t want to focus anymore on the time lost but on the time he can make up for, for the time that he now has. 

You indulge him, tell him stories about Jungwon, how he was a little late with talking and used to write letters from right to left, how you worried about this but how it was easily addressed, being that Ara is a developmental pediatrician and had taught you different practices to ensure his speech and cognitive skills are in tune with his developmental stage. 

You talk about his first steps, his first trip to the park, and how he’s afraid of the water - just like his mother, Jungkook says. You talk about how he likes fish so much so he doesn’t eat them, but that he loves vegetables and would only throw tantrums if he doesn’t get to eat sweets. 

And you talk about how respectful he is, charming in his own shy and soft ways but a fighter all the same, how he’s very smart and can do many things on his own.

“He really took the best parts of us, don’t you think?” Jungkook says, as he looks at Jungwon who’s coloring a ladybug this time. “Strong and independent like you, charming and cute like me?”

You burst into laughter. “You think those are your best qualities?” You ask.

“I mean there’s more and I could definitely list them all now but also, look at him! He’s so adorable, and he got that from me!”

“He is, and he did get that from you, I won’t lie,” you say, something that you always thought about, how the universe was cruel and wonderful at the same time for gifting you a child who looks just like the man you loved with all your heart, who reminded you everyday of what you lost and of, ironically, what you still had. 

“He has your lips, though, and those scrunched eyebrows when he’s focused,” he points out, and he says it with so much affection. “I’m sure there’s more he got from you and I can't wait to discover them all.”

“Me, too, Jungkook. Me too,” you say, ignoring the thrumming of your heart.

It’s Jungwon’s yawn that forces you and Jungkook out of your bubble again, not realizing the time that’s passed. You’re glad you had an early clock out today so at least it’s not yet too late and the little one can make it to bed on time. 

The dinner ends and Jungkook walks you and a sleepy Jungwon to your car, the silence a welcome one this time.

“So, I have a busy rest of the week so uhm, can we meet on Saturday? There’s a park with this cool playground near my apartment; I think Jungwon will like it there. We can have lunch after,” Jungkook says as you close the backseat door.

“Of course! Just text me the address and the time and we’ll be there,” you respond, liking this new dynamic between the both of you, texting each other on when and where to meet, freed up schedules and all. 

You both stand there awkwardly though, unsure how exactly to end the night, given that your friends had ditched you both. Your phones beeping saves you this time.

“How was it?” You and Jungkook say at the same time.

“They’re not even being subtle about it,” he laughs. 

“I bet they’re actually together right now, thinking of the best time to message,” you say.

“Probably not expecting we’d go on this long, too,” he mumbles, peering up to look at you with that shy smile of his, and you hope there’s no physical manifestation of how flushed you are right now.

“It was a good night. Thank you, Jungkook.”

“Thanks, too. So, uh, I’ll go ahead,” he says, then nods and turns away. It was a good night, and it was the first time that he felt comfortable, light. Like things were okay, like things are really going to get better. 

His mind goes back to weeks ago at your apartment - how he acted, the anger seeping through him, and how you looked - tears falling helplessly down your cheeks, a sight he’s never seen before, and one he doesn’t want to see again. He couldn’t hold you then, he didn’t have the mind nor the heart to. He’s not sure if he’s ready now, so he settles with words instead.

“___,” he calls out.

You turn around, not really expecting anything else, and for a moment, your heart stops beating.

He walks towards you with a shy look on his face, although his eyes avoid yours.

“I just, uh. I just wanted to apologize for that day at your apartment when I—“

“Jungkook, you don’t have to—“

“Just let me, please,” he interjects you this time, his voice soft, and a long breath escapes him. “I’m sorry.”

“I won’t accept it. You shouldn’t be sorry for the things you said because they’re what you felt. They’re warranted and—“

“Then I’m sorry for how I said them. That’s, that’s not who I am. You didn’t deserve that,” he stammers.

“I did,” you respond, and there’s a pang in his chest at your resigned tone. “And it’s okay. I would’ve reacted the same way.”

“I know I’ll never truly understand why, but it doesn’t mean that I don’t appreciate everything you’ve done for him.”

“He might’ve been unplanned but it doesn’t mean he’s a mistake. He’s the best thing that ever happened to me,” you say, meeting his eyes.

It’s a moment you share that needs no words, and Jungkook nods and leaves it at that because deep in his heart, he knows that Jungwon is the best thing that’s ever happened to him, too.

“Text me when you get home, okay?” He says.

You mumble an okay and head out, forcing yourself to stop smiling like an idiot the whole drive back home.

[To: Jungkook] We’re home. Thank you again.

[From: Jungkook] Alright! I had a really good time tonight. Sleep well, you two. Good night :) 

And with that, you don’t stop smiling like an idiot until you fall asleep.

**

You trip over trains and dolls on the floor, hastily putting them in the box that houses most of Jungwon’s toys. You place all the laundry in the washing machine, quickly fix your bed, and remove the clutter on the coffee table. 

By some not-so-great turn of events, you had a client schedule a 2PM meeting on a Saturday that you couldn’t turn down, which meant that you then had to meet your team at 11AM to prepare. 

You’re glad that Jungkook didn’t make a fuss about it when you called him in the morning, saying that you can’t make it to the park like you agreed to do. You trust him dearly but it’s still too early in the getting-to-know-you stage, so you’re not sure how Jungwon will take it if he spends the day with Jungkook without you. You expected him to reschedule but said his Sunday is full and asked if he could just go to your place instead.

“He and I can just play or watch cartoons, is that okay? I was really hoping to spend today with him but if it’s too much, that’s fine,” Jungkook said over the phone.

You didn’t have the heart to turn him down so you agreed. 

You tried to do whatever cleaning up you can manage because you didn’t want him to judge you for still being a little messy and you wanted everything organized while you focused on your meetings.

With Jungwon bathed and with snacks placed on the table, you think you’re ready for your guest, who should be arriving right about now.

The doorbell rings and it’s a familiar sight, but a welcome one. You lead Jungkook in, tell him it’s just a humble one-bedroom apartment and he waves you off. He settles the lunch he bought on the table - noodles and seafood pancakes, Jungwon’s favorites, you'd mentioned. 

“He’s in the room, I’ll go get him,” you say, and walk the several steps to your bedroom.

Jungkook looks around and takes it in. He was too angry the last time he was here so he didn’t pay much attention. It’s pretty clean, he thinks, and laughs at the thought that you probably did a quick clean up before he arrived since you’re not usually this organized. Or maybe that’s changed with you too, as with other things. 

“Hey, buddy,” Jungkook greets. He kneels and tells Jungwon that they’ll be spending time today while Mama works and Jungwon says he’s excited. He leads Jungkook to your not-so-grand living room and takes out some dinosaurs from one box, mumbling about them being in trouble, then opens another one. 

“Then Ironman saves them all!” Jungwon announces. 

The look on Jungkook’s face is unrivaled, the kind you secretly have been hoping for, hence why you deliberately kept this from him; you wanted Jungwon to be the one to reveal his undying love for the superhero. You’re surprised he’s never mentioned it before, but you also think that he wanted to show-off his toy collection first.

“You’ve been holding out on me!” Jungkook tells you. “He… We… We both believe in Ironman supremacy, ___. He’s really my—”

You nudge his shoulder before he prematurely reveals the truth, and you laugh at his expression and his wide eyes as he goes through the Ironman box because of course it has its own, as all the toys are delicately placed inside. 

Jungkook is in awe but really, it’s not much. They’re all just different versions of the same dolls and cars. You’ve tried to limit this because Jungwon will outgrow them at one point, but thinking about Jungkook’s continued love for the superhero, you think Jungwon actually might not.

The two get in their groove immediately and sit side-by-side, Jungwon introducing each of his toys because each Ironman has a different name. Jungkook indulges him and starts making sounds and Jungwon joins him until it’s just a chorus of pppshssss and bangbangbang and pfffffftpboom and you can’t help but laugh along. 

Taehyung always deemed those superhero movies to be too loud so he wasn’t into the toys either, and Namjoon would always end up explaining the science and ethics of superpowers as if his nephew is one of his college students, so for Jungwon to have someone who just gets him, even if it’s just about making sounds and making Ironman toys fly and protect the dinosaurs from a meteor, you’re happy that the little one is happy.

You leave them for a while and set the table, asking them over to eat with neither one standing up.

“Kids,” you call their attention, hands on your waist now. “Can we have lunch now please before Mama has to get ready for work?”

This feels so domestic and so real. You miss the way Jungkook’s lips form into a smile as you refer to yourself in third person and sound as if you’re reprimanding them. Since Jungkook has found out about Jungwon, he never imagined he’d actually get to experience this.

You clear your throat and it’s a sign for Jungkook that he has to follow, as the adult, so he gets the little one’s attention and brings all the toys on the table to join you three as you eat. 

It’s hilarious as they both converse with their toys and essentially leave you out but you let them, choosing instead to bask in this scene and the joy painted on both their faces. You wish this moment together wouldn’t end, though, but you also know that may be too much to ask. Jungkook is here to get to know your son, and that’s that.

You let them settle in the living room as you go from one meeting to another, stealing glances every once in a while just so you’ll have another memory of them bonding seared in your brain, for times when you need to feel better, when you want to feel happy. 

The rest of the afternoon goes that way. They go from saving the dinosaurs, to watching cartoons, then playing with blocks, earning them scowls and laughter every time those tip over and crash, creating loud sounds and distracting your work. But you smile immediately at their panicked and guilty faces, until they proceed to do the same thing.

It’s around 5PM when you finish, exhaustion creeping up on you. Jungwon surprisingly still has energy, but you see him forcing it because he wants to keep playing.

“Let’s go for an early dinner, yeah? I can order some pizza then you two can start preparing for bed,” Jungkook offers. 

You mindlessly nod from the dining table as you put away your laptop and notebook. “That sounds good, Jungkook. Thank you,” you respond.

“And maybe you can take a nap first while we wait. I’ll help him clean up the mess, too.”

You smile at this. Despite everything, he’s still the same thoughtful and considerate man you met all those years ago. You nod and head to them, kneeling in front of Jungwon who’s now sitting so closely to Jungkook.

“Hey, sweetcheeks. Mama’s tired so I’ll just get some rest, okay? You’ll be fine with Cookie Monster over here?” You ask.

“Yes, Mama,” he says, and proceeds to hug you and kiss your nose. 

“Okay, love you my little bug,” you say, and head to your room for a quick nap, not before you call out that Jungwon only eats cheese pizza.

**

It’s the knock on your bedroom door that wakes you, signaling that the food has arrived.

You head to the dining room, still clad in your leggings and pink sweatshirt, and Jungkook does a double take at your sleepy eyes, scrunched up nose, and messy hair. You’re still so adorable after a nap, but he shakes off the thought before you catch him with a silly smile on his face.

It’s Jungwon’s elephant and tiger stuffed toys having dinner with you this time, and unlike earlier in the day, there’s less theatrics and you all settle on small conversations, definitely tired but satisfied. 

Jungwon is busy munching on the cheese and the soft parts of the dough, Jungkook is watching him in amusement, and you’re watching Jungkook in awe, thinking of how he pulled through today, coming over to make sure that he got to spend it with his son, taking care of everything like the food and cleaning up because you were too busy and too tired to do so, even if you know he’s had a tiring week too. 

You never doubted his desire to get to know Jungwon but his patience and attention to everything have really surprised you. He listens carefully to the little one, asks what he thinks and feels, lets him lead and decide games and shows to watch, and talks to him like an adult. You wonder if he’d asked Taehyung or Namjoon for tips or he’d done some reading. But regardless, you appreciate it so much. You might not have had the start you wanted but it’s definitely going the way you want it to.

And as Jungkook giggles and wipes the cheese off Jungwon’s face, as he fills his glass with water and asks if he wants more, you see the affection on Jungkook’s whole being, you see the care and the warmth. You see the love. 

It’s familiar; it’s similar to how he used to look at you. And it’s this moment that you wish that he learns to look at you that way again. 

##

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#jungkook fic #jungkook x reader #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #jungkook smut #jeon jungkook #jungkook fanfiction #parents au #exes au #baseball player jk #inevitable #series

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 306: the beginning of the WHAT

Previously on BnHA: Nana and the Gang were all, “hey Deku, we can read your thoughts and feelings so we should already know the answer to this, but for some reason we want to quiz you on whether or not you’d be down to kill Shigaraki Tomura.” Deku was all, “um okay, well tbh, probably not seeing as Saving People has been my entire thing since literally the start of the series.” The Vestiges were all, “yes that makes perfect sense and again we already knew that, but well, good for you buddy and I’m glad we had this talk. Anyway I guess we should ask these two cryptic fuckers in the corner to finally turn around now before we run out of -- ” and then the chapter ended. Because OF COURSE IT DID.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi is all “YOU DON’T NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT, WOULDN’T IT BE SO MUCH BETTER IF I GAVE YOU A CONFUSING CHAPTER WHERE EVERYONE FINALLY LEARNS ABOUT OFA, AND GOES BACK TO THE DORMS, AND THEN THE CHAPTER ENDS WITH DEPRESSED NOMAD DEKU STANDING ON A PRECIPICE WITH GRAN TORINO’S TATTERED CAPE FLOWING IN THE WIND.” Everyone is all, “???????????” Horikoshi is all, “also the parents are moving to the U.A. campus, and Jeanist’s neck is two and a half feet long, for everyone that was wondering.” Everyone is all, “WHERE ARE KACCHAN AND TODOROKI AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WHO ARE THE SECOND AND THIRD USERS”, and Horikoshi is all, “:)” and fades away into nothingness like the fucking fae he is. Like a fucking imp who’s kept his end of the cursed bargain. What, the, fuck.

okay guys, so after the longest Thursday of my fucking life, during which I was secretly hoping that my spoiler containment net would be somehow be breached, inadvertently exposing me to theta spoiler radiation, so that I could be all “oh no... spoilers... there’s nothing I can do... I have no choice but to look” (which sadly did not happen), it is finally Friday and the chapter is finally out. so I’ve got my clown kit at the ready and other self-deprecating memes on standby, and I’m ready to go. and I should note that I’m also ready for Horikoshi to pull some absolute bullshit and be like, “oh you know what, we haven’t checked in with Rat Principal in a while have we” and spend the entire chapter on nonsense like that. I’M READY FOR FUCKING ANYTHING so bring it

(ETA: it would be nice if this man wouldn’t call my bluff every now and again.)

oh, right, we were due a color page! wow look at this

isn’t this supposed to be the future?? what’s with all of these staticky CRT TVs

anyway, so! is this the first time we’ve seen Tomura’s stylish finger prosthetic glove thingy in color?? because I didn’t expect it to be red. also, at some point you just have to give in and change your pants into cutoffs or something, Tomura. start a new trend of stylish villain capris

meanwhile Deku is dressed like he’s going on a journey into the desert to find a mystical oasis. actually this cape looks a lot like Gran Torino’s. I have to go back and see if Gran’s is all raggedy like this

(ETA: it wasn’t before but APPARENTLY IT IS NOW. I also forgot that Horikoshi had showed it sitting on a side table in the hospital a few chapters ago.)

lastly, AFO looks like someone’s thumb after they’ve been washing dishes for twenty minutes. you are just the ugliest dude in history, and as always, fuck you

HAHAHA SOB I KNEW IT

oh, Twowy McTwoface is finally starting to turn around? better CUT BACK TO DEKU’S HOSPITAL ROOM THEN. wouldn’t want to accidentally ANSWER ANY QUESTIONS or SOLVE ANY MYSTERIES, god forbid

well, whatever. whatever!! anyway so now someone’s knocking at the door. I say “someone” but we all know it’s Hawks

yep

they were actually standing outside the door for a while hoping they’d overhear another juicy plot conversation, but no such luck this time

lmaooo Jeanist wtf

acting all embarrassed, but you’re really just as curious as Hawks is. making him do all the dirty work for you huh

ARE YOU SERIOUS THIS IS AN INJUSTICE

so like two seconds after Katsuki gets dragged away you open the door for the rest of them!! well, fine!! I really want it to be a more private/personal moment between the two of them anyway so let the other kids check in on Deku first then

and in the meantime, time to see Hawks put the thumbscrews to All Might’s resolve lol

I wonder how much of it Hawks has already put together in the last five minutes. One for All is something connected to All for One that Tomura seems to want. Tomura was apparently targeting Deku. that’s more than enough to make a few deductions right there. I wonder how much Hawks knows about Deku’s quirk. he did watch the sports festival, and he ran into the kids interning under Endeavor that one time

okay well maybe he hasn’t put the rest of it together just yet, but Hawks is making a pretty reasonable pitch here to All Might

also this is a pretty spectacular view. is this a hospital or a hotel??

AHLKJLKJLKJ ARE YOU SERIOUSLY GOING TO TELL THEM

OH MY GOD HE IS?!?!

JUST LIKE WE ALL EXPECTED, THE NEXT TWO PEOPLE TO LEARN THE TRUTH ABOUT OFA ARE GOING TO BE HAWKS, AND BEST FUCKING JEANIST

-- LFKLKKLDK ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS. ARE YOU --

( •̀_•́ )

[sitting cross-legged on the ground pulling up little clumps of grass and letting them fall from my fingers one by one] yeah. sure. okay. fine. sure

-- OKAY, NO. NUH-UH. NO

everybody better hold tight cuz I’m about to pick up this whole chapter and yeet it into the ocean like a fucking frisbee lol

HORIKOSHI I DON’T CARE ABOUT THESE PEOPLE SITTING HERE WATCHING TV WTF

-- OH

well okay then. proceed. though lord help me if they’re about to reveal the secret of OFA to the whole fucking world skdkj

oh snap

well, there it is. pretty much what I expected, but it’s good to actually get to see this moment with him taking responsibility

though at the same time, thank you Horikoshi for not forcing us to sit through the rest of that

their fucking faces omg. okay but seriously, what nation doesn’t secretly love a good scandal

the Endeavor Pamphlets, part two. thank you for giving the country something to opine about on twitter in these trying times, Enji

so now they’re asking about Hawks and Jeanist but I cannot even focus on anything all of a sudden because what?!

is Jeanist even a real actual human being you guys?! are we sure he’s not three kids sitting on each other’s shoulders?? are you related to that one guy with the really long neck from the Jedi Council?? are you Orochimaru, bro??

so now Hawks is apologizing for the murder of Twice, and for hiding the connection with his dad

the fact that he has to give this serious formal apology and beg forgiveness for the shameful crime of Having An Abusive Father is really something else, though. just. it’s realistic, but I still hate it

moving on now to the one thing he actually does owe the public an explanation for

not to go all “Hawks did nothing wrong” on you guys yet again, but seriously. 100% facts. fandom can (and no doubt will) debate this until the end of time, but if Twice had gotten away they wouldn’t be having this press conference right now because there wouldn’t be any heroes left to give one. anyways though, I’ve already said more than enough about that in previous posts

so now some severe-looking lady with the weirdest fingers I’ve ever seen is saying that her mother was injured during Machia’s rampage

and she’s basically all “a fuck lot of good ‘I’m sorry’ does us all about now.” true true

wow she’s really getting fired up

and now Enji is basically saying that he understands that an apology isn’t enough, and what they really need now are solutions. okay, well! SO THEN WHAT IS THE PLAN THEN

hmmfsdgh

this eloquent PEZ dispenser makes a good point you guys

wait, hold up

CERTAIN citizens?? um excuse me, what??

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh shit

holy shit. well, this will go over well

okay! so this tells me a number of things, though

basically the minute that Hawks learned about One for All, he realized that anyone connected to Deku (e.g. Inko) would be a target for AFO. AFO wants OFA, meaning AFO wants Deku, and one of the easiest ways to get to Deku would be to target his family

Hawks therefore realized that Inko needed to be placed into protective custody

but the fact that ALL of the hero course students’ families (and is it only the U.A. hero course, or all of the hero course students across the country?) are being given protection tells me that Hawks and co. don’t want to single Deku out as being important. so then it looks like they’re not going to tell everyone about OFA (or at least not the public. which, good). so rather than drawing suspicion by saying “we’ve got to protect everyone connected with this one kid”, they’re making it seem like all the U.A. kids’ families are getting this treatment

but since the heroes are now spread so thin, they can’t just send a protective detail to each and every family, so they’re bringing all of the families to the same place instead to better keep an eye on them

so that’s all well and good, and a very smart move. except that idk how all of this is going to go over with the general public, all of whom are probably feeling unsafe at the moment, and who will probably see this as preferential treatment -- basically just the heroes looking after their own and leaving everyone else to fend for themselves

(ETA: okay so @hanashimas​’ translation clarifies that U.A. is offering their services as an evacuation shelter for everyone who wants it, not just the families of the U.A. students. that’s much more appropriate so I withdraw my previous “wtf” reaction lol.)

anyway though here’s Mitsuki and Inko

can we take this as confirmation that the two of them really are friends? that’s one piece of fanon that I’ve always hoped was true, so I’m gonna go ahead and say it’s confirmed

(ETA: also this means that Hagakure’s parents (or maybe “parents” in quotation marks) will supposedly be moving in as well. sure am curious as to how that’s going to go.)

now someone in the press crowd is asking whether U.A. can provide adequate security, which is honestly the LAST thing I expected these people would be outraged about lol. shows what I know I guess

(ETA: again though, this makes sense if the “certain civilians” thing was just a translation error.)

LMAO DAMMIT ENJI

YOU CAN’T JUST ALWAYS PULL THE “JUST WATCH ME” TRICK AND EXPECT IT TO SHUT DOWN THE CONVERSATION EVERY DAMN TIME YOU ASSHOLE

-- OH MY GOD RED ALERT

TIME TO ANALYZE THIS BECAUSE OMG

WASH CAN’T BELIEVE HIS FAMILY GROUP CHAT IS STILL SENDING HIM FUCKING MEMES AT A TIME LIKE THIS. HE DOESN’T GIVE A FUCK IF THE DABI DANCE IS TRENDING ON TIKTOK, MOM!!

FOR A MINUTE I THOUGHT MT. LADY WAS HOLDING MIDNIGHT’S TORN-UP MASK, AND BY THE TIME I REALIZED THAT’S ACTUALLY HER MASK AND NOT MIDNIGHT’S, I HAD ALREADY CONSTRUCTED AN ELABORATE HEADCANON IN WHICH MT. LADY AND MIDNIGHT WERE SECRETLY DATING BUT HADN’T COME OUT TO ANYONE YET, AND THEN TRAGEDY STRUCK, AND NOW MT. LADY IS GETTING READY TO SET OUT TO SEEK VENGEANCE. AND WELL, NOW THAT THIS HEADCANON EXISTS IN THE WORLD, I’M NOT SURE IF I’M READY TO GET RID OF IT

MIRKO HAS GOTTEN HERSELF A PROSTHETIC (ROBOT??!) ARM, NOTHING ELSE THAT’S HAPPENING IN THIS CHAPTER IS EVEN SLIGHTLY IMPORTANT!!! HELLO!!!!!

AIZAWA WITH THE EYEPATCH GOOD LORD. THE WORLD ISN’T READY. HE LOOKS LIKE HE HASN’T SLEPT IN NINETY-EIGHT YEARS, BUT SOMEHOW HE MAKES IT INTO THE HOTTEST THING EVER AS PER USUAL

WHO THE FUCK IS THIS FUCKING GUY. ARE WE SUPPOSED TO KNOW HIM? IS THIS KAMUI?? WAS THAT THING WHICH I ALWAYS ASSUMED WAS HIS HAIR ACTUALLY A HELMET OR SOMETHING WHAT

LOL AND MEANWHILE

you tell me, Dabi! weren’t you the one who said that wouldn’t be enough to kill him? what even is your endgame here. I’m starting to worry about the villain brain cell supply you guys. I feel like Compress took most of them with him when he left

OH??

“when asked about One for All, Endeavor fucking lied through his teeth.” well, well, well

SLKDFJLSKGDJLKLKGJL THE DORMS

( ⁰ ⌂ ⁰ )

SLDKJFLKJWLKJLK

WLKDJSLKJFWKELKSDJLKHGLK

HDSMFLKGKL:GDSELK

OCHAKO’S HAND IS SHAKING OH MY GOD

THERE’S YOUR KAMINARI, EVERYONE!!

RHA’S SCANLATION TEAM REALLY THREW DEKU’S HANDWRITING UNDER THE BUS HERE HUH

HE TOLD EVERYONE!?

WHY THE FUCK IS HE WRITING IT AS A LETTER

(ETA: 9. also if he really wrote every kid in his class then that means the U.A. traitor -- or Hagakure as we like to call her around these parts -- also knows about OFA, and knows that Deku has run the fuck off and isn’t at U.A. anymore. so that’s just great!)

OH HELL NO

the hell does that mean, you must leave. leave to go where. son you are not up and leaving to go power up and lead us all into a timeskip. and I swear to GOD, if you left Kacchan too...!!

MY GOD I CAN’T PROPERLY ABSORB ALL OF THESE OCHAKO FEELS RIGHT NOW BECAUSE I’M TOO TERRIFIED TO SCROLL TO THE LAST FUCKING PAGE, FUCK

I JUST GOTTA DO IT. I JUST GOTTA SUCK IT UP AND DO IT. FUCK

FUCK

WHAT. THE. FUCK

y’all I’m not even gonna waste your time with more keysmashing, JUST ASSUME THAT I AM DOING IT NONSTOP, FOREVER. and let’s just jump RIGHT IN HERE

okay so here I thought that All Might and co. had taken him away somewhere to train, but that is CLEARLY not what’s going on here. this kid is standing here in his Apocalypse Aesthetic hero costume which has CLEARLY seen better days, with Gran Torino’s cloak (GUESS THAT EXPLAINS THAT, THEN?? SO DID GRAN FUCKING DIE EXCUSE ME WTF), and a fucking backpack. this little green idiot has RUN AWAY FROM HOME. this is the absolute LAST THING ON EARTH I ever expected to happen so PARDON ME WHILE I SCREAM CONFUSEDLY INTO THE VOID

he does not look okay. you guys he doesn’t look okay at ALL. he has NEVER looked like this. this isn’t just a “I’m sad because I’m leaving all my friends behind” kind of look on his face, or even just a “Gran Torino died maybe and I’m still having emotions over it” look. this is an EXHAUSTED, dead look in his eyes. something terrible has happened

WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR ARMS DEKU. THE PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING DOWN WITH YOUR ARMS GODDAMMIT

love how this random building is just straight up collapsing, like that’s just a normal thing that happens every day now. lovely

APRIL MEANS IT’S NOW FULL ON SCHEDULED ALL-MIGHT-DYING-HOURS, BUT LET’S COMPLETELY IGNORE THAT THOUGH BECAUSE FUCK THAT NOISE

“THE SECOND USER? WHO KNOWS? CERTAINLY NOT ME” HORIKOSHI I SWEAR TO GOD

“BAKUGOU? NEVER HEARD OF HIM!” HORIKOSHI PLEASE

WHERE. IS. KACCHAN

did he go with Deku?? did he get a chance to talk to him before he left?? did he get his own private letter which he read and then promptly blew up in a fit of panicked rage?? is he going to go after him?? DOES HORIKOSHI KNOW WHAT HE’S DOING TO ME RIGHT NOW?? OF COURSE HE DOES, DON’T BOTHER ANSWERING THAT

omg. though actually the fact that we’ve already jumped a few weeks forward makes me hopeful that there won’t actually be another timeskip, or at least not much of one. I’m sure that’ll be the big debate of the week, but I don’t think we can jump too far forward here. for starters because of that All Might prophecy I mentioned. and also because TomurAFO isn’t just going to wait around for months. and also because I’m 100% sure that Deku’s running-away backpack is just filled ENTIRELY WITH NOTEBOOKS and this asshole cannot possibly survive more than 3 days on his own. UNLESS SOMEONE COMES TO HELP HIM THAT IS. OR SOMEONES, EVEN. OMG. omg omg omg. fuck this chapter lmao

#bnha 306 #midoriya izuku #hawks (bnha) #takami keigo #endeavor #todoroki enji #best jeanist #all might #uraraka ochako #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha

[thefanbasewhore]

“Mine.”

Summary: Din says goodbye to reader and Grogu but once they are reunited Din has mixed feels about the situation, jealous of Luke.

Warning/content: Angst, Jealous!Din, fighting between Din and Luke and reader and Din, Jedi!Reader. Din accuses reader of cheating. Nothing too spicey unless you guys would like a second part ? But would recommend 18+, Season 2 spoilers 

Paring: Din Djarin/Female Reader

Master list. || Part 2. 

There's a shift on tension in the room, it didn't go unnoticed much like the feeling of your own heart breaking. It's breaking for Grogu, for Din, your Mandolorian, who stands tall, strong despite the crushing feeling inside his chest. He's helmetless in a room full of people for the first time ever willingly, he does it for the boy, the child he loves.

It's the first time you see his face, his hair is messy but it's cute, brown in color with small ringlets that curl against the base of his neck, his eyes are expresso brown, smooth curve of his nose is small but prominent, lips pink and form the perfect pout, small hairs from his mustache curling across his top lip. He is so incredibly handsome, but your sorrow won't let you see that, there is no time to think about. The child presses a soft touch against his square jaw, in his own way of saying, "I see you."

This makes tears even well up in your own eyes as he looks over Din's shoulder, reaching out for you. The last thing you expect when Din head turns over his shoulder to look at you are the matching tears. It's hard to stop, squeezing his eyes shut as he bites his bottom lip, chewing at it nervously. 

The two strides it takes to finally reach them is like the longest walk of your life, your head rests against the Mandalorian's chest piece as you take the small guy into your arms, squeezing him close. The sob that falls from your lips doesn't go unnoticed as Din presses his large, gloved hand to your back, rubbing it in comfort. "Be good, little one." It's whispered as you hold him cheek to cheek. "You're going to do so well."

"Don't be afraid." Din's fingers find the child, placing him on the ground, knowing well you wouldn't be able to.

Grogu's eyes met yours with confusion as the Jedi picks him up. There's an unknown feeling within you, almost like you can feel his sadness but also excitement of learning once again. It makes you worried as his eyes peer at you, head tilting to the side. He's trying to tell you something, but you just can't hear it.

It isn't strong, actually you like to think your connection to the force as a small, annoying dangling thread stuck to the bottom of someone's boot that is always there, no matter how much they pull or prod it just falls through fingers but then again you never had a chance to learn from anyone.

All eyes are on you, breaking from your trance like thought as to look up to meet Din's eyes then Luke's, realizing they were directed towards you. "Did you say something?"

"Are you coming too?" Luke's words make you confused, eyebrows narrowing with a frown. The thought alone is enough to feel a ball in your throat, despite the words you’ve spoken, his intensions were clear from the start. 

 “You need training too." Din's hand stiffens against your lower back, chest momentarily at a pause as he realizes what is happening. He knew about this, even though you were clueless of what the force is, you knew it was in you, had told him and Ashoka questioned it about it only days ago. Never had he thought he'd loose both of the people that mean the most to him on the same day, it was almost..unbearable. A pregnant silence falling between everyone, Din can’t speak, he pauses, words trembling in his throat as he looks to you with pouty eyes.

Eyes meet Din's, shaking your head pressing yourself deeper into his chest. A familiar place that was warm, safe, How could you ever leave him? "No, I'm staying here."

"Go." Din urges, the hand applying just enough pressure toward the Jedi, trying to explain his words, it was okay. His flushes his own forehead against yours as he tilts your face towards his own, kissing the hair line softly. "Don't let me stop you, you need training."

"But --."

"I'll see you again, I swear by it." He promises, hands cup your cheeks, bringing your lips to his own. Fresh, new tears slip past both of sets of eyes. Goodbyes were never easy but necessary, destiny has written it long ago and Din Djarin of all people knows that. The kiss is soft, but you can't seem to pull yourself away pressing a few more in their wake. The movement of his arms wrapping around your waist lifts your feet from the ground as he hugs you close. Lips tickle your ear as he whispers, "I'll see you soon sweet girl, don't forget how strong you are."

"I love you." It's the first time the words are said, while his heart squeezes in joy, but mouth dries at the words he's always wanted to hear, he wishes you never said them, it makes good bye so much harder.

"I love you." He answers back truthfully, using the back of his hand to wipe the sizzling trail of tears from his cheek as you step away. Grogu reaches out almost instantly for his mother, the familiarity is more comforting then the stranger’s arms. You follow the Jedi when reaching the loft and turn around waving at your Mandalorian one more time. Din can't find himself to return it, shoulders leaning forward compensating for the pain he feels in his heart. It's heavy, putting all of his trust into one man but at least you and Grogu had each other.

-

You are barely able to suppress the shriek that is mumbles against your lips as the base of Luke's foot comes in contact with your chest, pushing you from the advantage you finally gained. While you try to reach for him he’s too fast, too skilled as he swiftly moves from the counter attack.

"Ugh!" The sound ripples from your raw throat as the pair circle each other, waiting for the next move, lightsabers in the air, it's a waiting game. "Stop doing that it's not fair!"

"Why isn't it fair? You left it open. Do better."

You huff, "I have boobs! Well who knows anymore? After that."

The last few months have not only been the most terrifying of your life but also the most exciting, borderline exhilarating. At first it wasn’t noticeable, arms would ache for holding the saber in the air for a few minutes but with every passing day it became lighter and lighter until you moved with uttermost swiftness, the saber a feather in your hands. Never had you thought you would love to fight, being able to finally control the owner within. Luke had become family, taking you in and helping you. It has been quite difficult, Luke was a perfectionist at best, he was not happy unless everything was done right, which once made you sore and cry, but looking back at it now, you have mastered so much. The amount of long hours of sitting at the table trying to pass a stupid apple back and forth, learning to be silent, trying to sneak up on an opponent but now it’s easy, all thanks to Luke but still to this day you can't even look at an apple, let alone eat it.

Even though he is picky, you understand. He has made you strong, happy to learn about the very thing you understand nothing about. It’s safe to say you were ignorant, taking advantage of the gift given to you.  

Luke rolls his eyes, the green saber retreating back into the canister as he tucks it back into his belt. "Training is done for now."

Your head tilts in understanding, tucking away the bright light until is clicks into the holder attached to your belt. There's a lingering silence, figuring it’s a  silent dismissal turning to return home but Luke's voice stops you. "Padawan?"

"Yes Master?"

"I sent out word to your Mandolorian." The smile drops from your face almost instantly, serious eyes look over his own for the lie, for the joke as if he would break into laughter but he didn't. He's still as he gives a shy smile, you tense instantly, heart stuttering inside your chest, it must be a joke. Your about to curse, tell him it's not funny but he beats you to it. "I sent out days ago, he is due any day now."

"You're serious? It's not funny --."

"You have done well, you exceeded my expectations. You deserve to have some time off. You and Grogu, it's been months." You squeal excitedly, the smile crinkles eyes, almost hurts because it's been so long since you felt genuine happiness.

"Now come, the little one is waiting."

-

Dinner has to be your favorite time of the day, only because after the relief your aching body gets, sore, black and blue but strong, you’re capable of more than you’ve ever known to be. Luke always reminds you, never lets you falter, never lets you have the chance to doubt yourself, he’s always there to remind you much you’ve accomplished but there is always more to learn. He's a good master, fair but authoritative when need be, he's shown you so much but had given you so much more: a purpose, a friend.

With dinner came relief but also meant you could see Grogu, he hasn't grown much physically but the force has made him powerful, such a small creature to have so much but it is so different with him. While the force only touched you, it seems to run through Grogu's veins, it's so natural to him. 

Luke is right next to you, sitting in the uncomfortable excuse of a chair but happy none the less as Grogu sits in the middle of the table in front of his plate with a coo, large black eyes peering up at his master, head tilting. "What's wrong little one?"

You don't need the force to feel what he's thinking, you communicated with this little guy way before all of this feeling though the force mumbo jumbo. The force was  never needed to feel him, understand the boy.  Reaching over to Luke's plate with a cheeky smile using your own fork to poke the potato. "He likes the hash."

Both of you are so occupied the hole of silence the hall falls into is unoticed, the heavy steps of boots that haunt your dreams. The Mandalorian seems so big in the hall, all the basker gives off the illusion of large broad shoulders, a thick trunk that matches the man underneath, he’s intimidating as eyes shift off him quickly to return back to their meal, no one would dare try a Mandalorian, even trained Jedi. Din eyes meet the back of your head, heart thumping in anticipation of seeing his love again. It's been seven months, seven agonizing, brutal months without his family. Any other man would go insane but this very moment is the reason he continued to fight, when he received the message from Luke he couldn’t believe it. Seven months with no communication, your voice haunted his dreams just wanting to hear it one more time.

But now, he feels his heart drop, his own body filling with dread, anxiety at the close proximity of you and the Jedi, faces inches away in conversation. The way small dimples pop through as you smile shyly at him, Luke's own laugh as he leans closer to Grogu.

The sight of him alone is enough to have Din choked up if it wasn't for the way Luke reached for your fork, feeding Grogu a few bites, whatever he didn't eat was taken into his own mouth. When his lips close around the fork Din's fist bunch at his sides, it was too intimate for teacher and student. That's his girl, his son he is feeding.

You do however notice how Luke's head turns in the direction behind you, but continue talking eyes narrowing to question why. He's not paying attention to your words only smiling, like he knows something you don’t. When there's no answer you decide to look yourself, at first you don't register that Din is only feet away, dead center of the hall. Head snaps back in a double take as anticipation makes your heart flutter, emotion fills your throat making it hard to speak, even move.

Feet register before your brain has the opportunity to, running towards him with a loud laugh of joy. He has to brace himself for the impact when you jump on him, a small 'ooof' leaving his lips as he catches the weight. Arms support you from under thighs, holding close as your legs tighten around his waist.

Your smile is wide, never ending the most as he holds the blushing skin of your cheek, the other hand on the underneath skin of your thighs holding you to the basker clad chest. Beautiful, absolutely breath taking. He's seen this in his dreams, reuniting with you but this is too real, the soft flesh expanding on his palm is too soft. The sight of you after so long is euphoric, its hard to breath with you so close, to concentrate on anything but the way your lips curl into a smile, eyes so lovingly with unshed tears. It's a relief to see you so alive and well, stronger under his own strength but as soft he remembers.

"I missed you Cyar'ika." It's breathlessly whispered into the vocoder, static chokes his words but it may be the tremble in his throat as a hand knots into hair to pull you closer.

"Oh." You mumble under your breath with as realize the stares that follow you, quickly you lower your feet to the ground but your hand never leaves his forearm, clenching the underneath, tunic crumpling in your hands. Now that he's here you never want to let go. "Come see Grogu."

Din can't even get a word out as he's pulled towards the table, he nods, acknowledging Luke despite the tension he manifests. The reunion warms your heart, it makes it harder not to crying as you feel Grogu's emotions run through you. He feels love.. he's excited extending his arms with grapy hands.

With no hesitation the child is once again reunited with the basker clad man.. his truthful father. It's a sigh of relief that falls from Din that makes you smile up at him. Din reaches over with his free hand, cupping your cheek. No words were said, not in the presence of a stranger but it's shown in the way his thumb moves across the smooth skin of your cheek.

-

The moment he entered the room darkness cascades over them, small, familiar hands press against the the basker that covers his head, a silent ask for permission. "Cyar'ika, it's --."

"I can't believe you're here, I missed you so much love." Din's eyes close so tightly at the words, he doesn't want to stop you. He wants to feel your skin pressed against his, he swears he's almost knocked off his feet when the helmet falls to the ground with a loud thump lips brusingly hard against his own.

"Sweet -." He tries to speak against but is met with the softness again, tongue seeking permission against his bottom lip.

"Missed you." Lips press against his jaw, following to his neck sucking softly on the smooth skin. A small, choked moan falls from his lips as you nip at the junction between his clavicle and throat.

The feeling of welted skin has you raising your head up in confusion, fingers taking place of your lips to feel the healing skin. It's not a scar or a wound but purposely put there, as you trace it with your fingers you begin to paint a small picture with the raised lines.

"It's a symbol of leadership along my people." He answers, hands reaching up to gently wrap around your wrist, bringing it to press against his cheek. His next words almost as unexpected as learning he has a new tattoo on his neck. "Would you like to see it?"

"But the creed.." you mumble, eyes roaming over the slightest curve of his face the darkness of allows as he pushes you to straddle his lap, his other hand running over the expanding skin of your thigh.

"It's nothing you haven't seen before my love." He's referring to the moment before you and the child left him, kissing him goodbye. "The creed is broken but I am a Mandalorian, nothing will change that."

"But, I ugh." The words are not of the man you knew almost a year ago, but show maturity, experience has formed him into a new person but nonetheless he still is yours.

It's just dawned on you now, while you were growing with power was so was Din. The lightsaber pressing against your outer thigh reminded you of it, while you have gained one, Din had ruled with one. Every new experience, lesson, moments spent crying Din has had similar, except his people depend on him for survival.

"Oh my God." You mumble under your breath, eyes widening in shock. His words, the tattoo meaning, the new signet pressed into his chest, the thicker tunic decorated with a gold pattern, you were so busy just concentrating the fact he was here, you never bothered to look at the changes, the clues. Two large horns soldered into his helmet you never noticed until now poke against your ankle. "You actually did it? I though you didn't want it."

"It's my responsibility to my people to get our home back. Once you left I had nothing but them, Bo-Katan has been helping me. We are so close Cyar'ika." Din presses his forehead against the skin of your shoulder, breathing deeply. "I can't wait to show you."

"So close to what?"

"Not hiding anymore, to regaining Mandalore." The words make your skin warm, a soft smile filled with admiration, proudness. "I'm building a home for us."

"You have changed Din."

"So have you Cyare. You look so well, feel so strong. You are where you’ve always belonged." He is right, there's something that changes in the air when you are nearby now; a power that follows you, makes everyone fear the presence but he loves it. "I wish I could have been here to see it. I dream of when we will be together again."

"Can I see?" The words are unsure, despite his earlier words old habits die hard, promising never to look unless he wants it, it was his choice, never yours.

"Please." It's soft, tender as you shakily wobble on legs to walk across the room, fingers ghost over the switch before a loud knock against the door makes even Din's stomach drop.

"Padawan?" Luke's voice makes Din scowl, what is it with this guy?

"Yes Master?" The way you answer so quickly with little regard towards Din has him swollowing loudly, jealousy searing his veins, it makes his forehead hot.

"While I have promised you a break the day is still not over, training will continue."

"Be right out." It's quick, the kiss pressed against his lips, it has him reaching out to hold you again but you already out the door leaving him gritting his teeth.

-

When he finds you again it almost an hour of looking for you. He's irritated, it shows in the way he walks, tall and intimidating with every crunch of sand under his boots.

Despite it being evening the sun is still blaring, it's too hot for anything but he manages to power through, though taking off the helmet is an option if is his only line of defense when it comes to be surrounded by Jedis.

It's an odd sight, you're legs are crossed as Grogu sits feet in front of you. Eyelashes fluttering in concentration, frustration clear in the way the junction between your eye brow wrinkles. It's magical, the way the large rock moves across the length of the pair. It's amazing truly, he's watched the kid do it many times but with you, it's different, seven months ago you could barely hold a blaster let alone do this.

He was in complete awe, watching as Grogu takes the rock himself but to him it's effortless. He doesn't even bat an eye as the rock moves higher and higher until it's explodes. The small pieces shoot towards him, the rocks dink against his helmet knocking him forward that he doesn't give you enough time to warn you that there's someone behind you, he feels himself jump forward to protect  but natural reflexes already have you up, your own blue saber flashes with Luke's green one.

It's a relief it's only him but also makes him want to longue and wrap his hands around his throat for even trying to attack you, it's instincts, his own will to protect his family. He was so caught up with his own anger, he didn't notice the small hands tugging at his pant leg.

"Hey buddy." It's the soft coo that warms his heart, the sound he missed so late at night, all by himself. It feels so right to have him in his arms again, it's a distraction for a moment, but the loud shriek that mumbles against your lips as the saber slices your arm breaks the moment.

Din stalks toward without hesitation, hands reaching out to pull Luke by his collar but hand stops half way there; a choking sound falling from his lips as he feels his throat start to close.

"Luke!" You exclaim, hands pulling on his shoulder. "Stop!"

Luke doesn't listen, tilts his head as the Mandalorian's other hand reaches for his own neck, the child falls from his arms but Luke reaches for Grogu as he floats towards him and that is when he decides to let go of his hold on Din.

"She is fine." Luke's tone is accusing, eyes lit up in anger. He knew the reasoning behind the Mandalorian's attack but it irritates him. Din falls to the ground into his knees as he coughs, lung begging for air. "She will heal, it's no wonder she was afraid of the force. You made her feel as if she was weak. Couldn't protect herself. Can't you see she is strong?"

The words sting a bit, you never felt like that with Din but the words of your master, where they true? Had he been the reason you never felt the force like this before? It’s not his fault, he’s always been a protector.

"Yes." Din chokes on the words, it's surprises Luke how quickly he recovers, leaning on knees, visor tilting up to meet his gaze. "I do, I don't need you telling me either Jedi."

The last word is spoken with gritted teeth, disgust as he stands, squaring up the man in front of him, pressing the top of his basker against Luke’s face. 

"Then do her a favor and never, ever underestimate her again." Din doesn't like what the Jedi is insinuating, hands balling in fist, finger coming to poke the Jedi's chest as he speaks. "Respect her Mandalorian."

"I do." You're about to squeeze between the two men but Din speaks too fast. "I don't need any magic tricks to beat your ass either."

"Din!" You hiss, the helmet pointing in your direction as a growl admits his chest.

"You're sticking up for him?!" Then once again you're minded how immature Din Djarin can really be. He's protective, overbearing but you expect more from Luke as he speaks. "You're just taking out the fact that Grogu and the girl are in my care, they are with me."

"My son, my girl." Then it hit you, all so sudden he wasn't an asshole, maybe a little immature, but he was jealous. The growl that rumbled his chest made even you shake. You couldn't find yourself to blame him either, both of the people he's ever cared for pulled from his arms, seven months spent with Luke. It made him insecure, dear the worst.

"Enough!" A hand presses against each other their chests, meeting Luke's first. Eyes warn him, "I expect more from you."

Then they move to Din with a scowl, "And you have no reason to be like this, Luke is my friend. He is helping me! I am strong now because of him."

"You have always been strong." The words make you pause, heart dropping. Guilt dropping your shoulders instantly. "You never needed to hold a lightsaber for me to see that."

A strong, confident finger lifts lifts towards Luke's direction, it looks like he's going to say something else judging by his stance, looks over you one more time then Grogu before stalking away towards the direction of the hall.

-

It's only an hour later, and Din is no where to be found. Luke has told you he's taken the child for a little bit, you can only imagine how that exchange went but respectfully allow him to have time with him, besides you doubt he wants to see you right now.

He was right, it was a force of habit trying to protect you but he has never doubted or hesitated for one second when it came to you. There has only been one person who has ever believed that anything was possible for you and it's the one you managed to chase away.

The room is dark, the only light comes from the gasps of the curtains the moon allows in. You have given up on waiting on the bed, instead curl up on the large longue chair in the corner, book open but you wouldn't even notice if there weren't any words. Too deep in thought over your Mandalorian.

What If he leaves without seeing you? Surely, he wouldn't, it was stupid fight, it shouldn't have happened but you shouldn't have accused him either. The rattling of the door knob makes you pause, daring not to breath that it might scare him away. He's quiet as the silhouette of armour makes it through the doorway, shiny, the darkness of his visor camouflaging him throughout the door.

The light flickers on, you want to squeeze your eyes shut, away from his gaze out of fear he might leave again seeing that you aren’t sleeping, waiting for him.

He doesn't speak, only stiffens his stance, arms crossing his chest as the helmet tilts down in your direction. "What are you doing?"

"Reading."

"In the dark?" You have been caught there's no reason to argue with him just turn a dark shade of pink as the book is closed with a loud echo. Tension fills the air, you're torn between apologizing and expect one first, his behavior was inappropriate.

"Are you happy here?" It's surprising watching the Mandalorian walk close until he's between the V of your legs, a soft breath caught through the static as he uses your thighs as an anchor for his hands as he slowly lowers to the floor in front of you. His force his horse as leans over, pressure pressed against your chin, it's not enough to hurt but enough to show he is angry. "Is there someone here making you happy? That isn't me?"

You don't like what he's insinuating, brow furrow with a deep frown and a scoff, "If you have something to ask I suggest you come out with it Din."

"Are you fucking him?" The words make you huff, pushing the warmth of his skin away but he reaches out to touch you again. He wants you to look at him, he wants to see the truth your eyes will tell.

The fucking nerve he has to knot his fingers into your hair, keep your head still as the visor moves up and down the soft features of your face, it's soft but shows meaning. At this very moment you here the way your body reacts to him, wanting to move closer, wrap the other hand around your neck at his tone, the authority in his voice. "I asked you a question."

"Really?" The way he stares just irritates you. Spending all your nights longing for him, all the tears wasted on missing him just for him to believe you were unfaithful. "I can't believe you just asked me that."

"Don't act like it's all me! I can see it, you sit so close that you're practically on his lap. He ate from your fork. He comes to your aid like I don't know you can take care of yourself, tells me of all people to respect you, never undermine you. When have I ever? He seems to forget that I was the person who first trained you. So, I'm going to ask you one more time. Are you fucking the Jedi? Do you like him?"

"Get out of my face Din!" The heat of his visor, the blackness hides any kind of emotion, all you see is the anger that comes from his throat, words stinging cheeks. It's impossible to concentrate with him so close, pressing his entire weight against your thighs.

"Tell me now." The words harsh, he needs to know, hear the words from your lips to know they are true.

"No! How dare you even accuse me of that? I have been waiting for months to see you again and you accuse me of being unfaithful?" The tears sting, almost hurt as much as knowing Din has little trust in you. His chest is raising fast, deep, quick breaths against your knee, showing just how worked up he is, he's frustrated, the throbbing in his pants gives that away and makes you think if there’s a different reason. He's insecure, jealous, absolutely pissed.

The harsh fingers leave your hair only to meet the edge of his helmet, you don't even get time to register before it falls to the floor next to you. Seeing is face is.. different this time.

It's clear, the first time was rushed, tear filled but now he look so.. good.

His brows furrowed in anger, nostrils flaring, hair thrown messily across his forehead, you don't even get time to look at his lips before his hands touch your cheeks pulling you into a bruising kiss, fingers nails forming small crescents on hips as the words are moaned against your lips, rushed with how desperate the Mandalorian is.

"You are mine." It's not the words that make you gasp but the hand that tugs the tips of your hair, pulling your head down more to accept his crushing lips. "Mine."

tags: @remmyswritings​, @b0nnyzz​, @heavenlymistake​, @mcueveryday​, @phantomofthewapera, @dindjarinswhore​, @hellothereobi​, @mudhornchronicles​, @alwaysreading1019, @stepintothelightz, @pepmintmocha​, @charlottemcgrace​, @the-last-twin-of-krypton​, @disgvst-d​, @atrxdixs​, @cal-ifornication​, @acourtofsnakes​, @waiting-for-motivation​, @that-sarcastic-pieces, @writings-of-a-fool​, @theocatkov​, @itsfangirlmendes​, @maileecabudol​, @ghost-lantern​, @mandoandyodito​, @sleep-deprived-things​,  @maddie0w0​, @bluegalaxyprime​, @stilledimperfections​, @altarsw​

#din dijarin x reader #din djarin #din djarin x reader #din djarin imagine #din djarin fan fiction #the mandolarian #the mandolorian imagine #the mandolorian x reader

[moon3thereal]

Hiii one request! Nat meets R in a bar or something while she is trying to be far away from the problems of being an avenger,the read head tries to have a date with her and R accepts, then in the midel of the date R takes the initiative and start to be a little/much sassy 😏 and convinces Nat to leave the place to be in somewhere more private. But when they are alone R start to fight with Nat trying to knock her out but Nat pin her down and asks why she is doing that, R admitt that she is a widow and was sent to cach her and bring her back to the red room. The end can be as you wish.

Thanks!!

Title: Eyes on the prize

genre: fluff, angst-ish

warnings: guns, violence, alcohol, knives, mention of memory removal

the bottom: (dont ask why, but leah forced me to credit her at the bottom and technically i did!) credits to @midgardianweasley for practically co-writing and building the foundation for this fic, i could NOT have done this without her, thank you so much, and please go check out her fics everyone!

a/n: one of the longest fics i've written, i hope you guys enjoy! ends with fluff dw

2.7 K words

Natasha brushed a hand over her face in fatigue, she’d been to more than 3 countries within the time span of a week for missions and had done so much paperwork she thought she might pull out her hair if she laid eyes on another mission report. The cadets that S.H.I.E.L.D recruited, in her eyes, were no more than children who didn’t even know how to hold a gun properly, not to mention shoot.

What the Russian needed right now was tequila, a shit load of tequila. Fortunately, there was a bar that the redhead frequented whenever she needs to put some distance between her and the problems of the avengers and S.H.I.E.L.D

Picking up her leather jacket that was tossed carelessly on her couch and the keys to her Chevrolet, Natasha set off to a bar about 3 blocks down the Avengers compound, in fifteen minutes, she was met with a glowing neon sign, she was regular at the dim bar and was almost always seen there on a Friday night with her red hair in a braid and several locks framing her face in effortless elegance

Usually, people didn’t approach her and if they did, she never paid much attention to them. However, today when she sat down, there was a y/h/c haired woman already locating the seat next to her with a beer in her hand. You were idly swirling the beer in its bottle and staring off into space when the redhead settled down in her usual seat.

She ordered 10 tequila shots and you raised a brow at her “you sure you can handle that?” she turned to you with a smirk “I can handle twice as much as that but I have work tomorrow” you hummed in acknowledgement “I haven’t seen you around here before, you’re new?” Natasha asked downing a shot without so much as a grimace “I’m looking for a job, bartender” you said propping your foot up on the counter “well you sure don’t look like one” she remarks and you frowned “is there a specific look for a bartender?” and she downed a second shot and gestured to a woman taking orders from drunk customers “sure there is, there, like her”

You scoffed “hm maybe I’d be an exception to the standard” the corner of the redhead’s lips quirked up “good, it’d be nice to see some change around here” you stretched your arms out in front of you “it would be, if they hired me, but they didn’t, which is why I’m sitting around moping about the fact they rejected such a pretty face” Natasha downed another shot nodding in agreement. You looked at her, genuinely impressed at her alcohol tolerance. “Your mom never taught you that it’s rude to stare?” your face fell for a second at the mention of your mother, she was dead, like all the mothers of the widows who attempted to pry their daughters out of the red room’s grip. But you restored your poker face before she could catch your look of discomposure.

“If staring at you was considered rude, then the whole world would be douchebags” you quipped. Natasha only laughed and shook her head at your obvious flirting “you come here often then?” you asked after watching her down another shot “obviously not enough if I can’t remember a pretty face like yours.” The redhead said lightly. she was studying you though, she noticed how you were sitting, back straight, shoulders back, she wasn’t unfamiliar to that posture at all, in the red room, all widows were trained to be on the defense, on alert at all times, always anticipating anything and everything, nothing could go amiss that way. And she’d also noticed the way you had barely taken a sip of your drink, resorting to swishing the liquid idly in its bottle.

Against everything logical and her own unmistakable and uncannily accurate instinct, Natasha stopped her brain from analyzing and evaluating these signs and allowed them to be overlooked as a side effect of her falling into a trance simply by observing you, how your eyebrows arched perfectly, the curve of your lips, the perfect ridge of your nose and the captivating color of your eyes and how all of your facial parts are completely flawless to her, she could’ve sworn she’d seen you somewhere before. Natasha had met many interesting people in her line of work but she’d never yet met one as intriguing as you were, the quintessential mysterious girl in the bar.

If you had told her two days ago, that she would ask a stranger in a bar over to her apartment to drink with her, she’d have called you crazy. However, it didn’t seem so crazy to her now, it was unlike Natasha, but she asked you to come over to have a drink, an unofficial, casual date. You raised an eyebrow “now, now, was that an attempt to get me drunk?” you clicked your tongue in faux disapproval “simply seizing the opportunity to get to know you better” she said with a shrug. You hid a smile behind your beer bottle, taking the first sip of the night. You had tried to convince yourself that it was simply your success at scoring a date with the Russian therefore giving you a chance to lure her somewhere private to eliminate her, but something in you told you it was more than that, the way she smiled, how her lips curved and her perfectly sculpted eyebrow lifted, it was all so familiar yet you simply couldn’t retrieve the memory.

But one thought was clear, raging even, at the back of your mind. You didn’t want to hurt her, whoever she was, you didn’t want to lay a hand on her, couldn’t bear to see her in pain, you’d defy Dreykov, defy the red room, defy Russia and all of their stupid organizations if it meant you could figure out this mystery of a woman, discovering her secrets one by one, layer by layer. Not to report back to the red room but just to see Natasha as she was. Unfortunately, life doesn’t work that way, it never worked that way, if you’d done it, Dreykov would’ve been notified and you’d be dead before the sun rises the next day. Your eyebrows knitted together momentarily at the thought that the woman before you would be dead at your hands before dawn before you arranged your features to hide the moment of doubt.

“Natalia Alianovna Romanova. Natasha Romanoff. She’s a problem, a threat, a danger to the future of our widows, I need her terminated, and there’s no one better than you, y/n, for the job. Don’t let me down” Dreykov’s voice flashed in your mind, his orders were clear, kill her or there will be consequences.

Natasha’s voice brought you back to the conversation “what do you do? Before you decided to look for a job at this dingy bar I mean” she asked, the shot glasses were all empty now where there had been at least 5 more before, you must’ve been too entranced by your thoughts, or how strands of her hair had escaped her braid and curly wisps of ginger hair were framing her face perfectly. You both had decided to get out of the bar, more patrons had walked in making it stuffy and crampy, you were walking out the door with Natasha, presumably to her apartment “a primary teacher, English.” You said without hesitation, you always spent hours reciting the information of your cover, sometimes you felt as if you were really the person you were pretending to be with how fluently you could deliver the lines you’d practiced in front of a mirror until they were flawless.

She laughed; a clear, melodious laugh that made your cheeks heat up “you? An English teacher? Wow.” She said “what are you gonna say I don’t look like one?” you glared at her with indignation on your face “no, you don’t, you don’t at all” she said, her expression turning into a serious one, for a second your heart dropped, thinking your cover had been blown and you’d have to resort to shooting her in the middle of the street, which wasn’t exactly ideal “you look like a zookeeper” she said biting her lip to hold back her laugh at the look on your face. you raised your eyebrows in amusement “that wasn’t funny” you said “oh but it was” the redhead laughed showing her impossibly white teeth and her cheeks were pink from walking in the cold night air, you couldn’t help but stare at her lips, her perfectly kissable- snap out of it y/l/n, you thought to yourself, that isn’t what you’re here to do.

“But seriously, I’m actually happy about how tonight is going, better than drinking alone” she voiced out, you looked to her with a smirk evident on your face, you’d just reached her apartment and she was unlocking the door letting you in behind her. “Going soft for me Romanoff?” she scoffed before her face fell into an expression of momentary confusion, in a split second you both had your guns pointed at each other “who are you? How do you know my name?” the carefree Natasha was gone now, and in her place stood the infamous black widow.

Deciding that hiding your identity from her was pointless now, you attempted to attack, kicking the gun from her hand and vaulting to get your legs around her neck to choke her. Unfortunately for you, that was textbook red room and a trick Natasha had used countless times on enemies of various sizes. Blocking you, the Russian pinned you, one hand on the small of your back and the other at the back of your neck, holding you down “I knew I should’ve spent the night alone.” Refusing to be defeated so easily, you swept her feet out from under her, but once you got up, she’d punched you in your side causing you to double over in pain. She moved to her gun but you weren’t the star student of the red room for no reason, in the blink of an eye, you had a knife to her throat.

The both of you had stood there for a few seconds, breathing heavily before you felt a familiar feeling of cool metal, the barrel of a gun, through your thin shirt. “You didn’t think I just had one, did you?” she said pressing it into your side in warning. Gritting your teeth in frustration, you released her with a shove and dropped your knife with your hands raised.

“If it was anyone else, in any other situation, I would’ve shot you and be done with it, but you’re intriguing, there’s a story behind this. I trust you won’t pull anything?” she asked watching you stare down the barrel of her Glock. You nodded once, albeit grudgingly. To your utter surprise, she placed the gun down and gestured to a chair on the opposite side of the table and sat down herself. You’d utterly demolished the rest of her kitchen with your fight. Sitting in the chair rigidly, Natasha raised an eyebrow at your silence, you noted how if you made a run for it, she had the ability to shoot you before you even stood up with the proximity of her hand and her gun. Her gun, you had the exact half to the one on the floor across the room, your gun. You furrowed your eyebrows, you had one half of the twin guns, the other half was hers. But that didn’t make sense, unless there was a reason why she’d seemed familiar to you?

Natasha seemed to think the same, her eyes flickering from the gun just inches away from her fingertips to the one across the room, hers had your initials engraved at the bottom, and yours hers. But you’ve never understood why there was two letters engraved on to your favored gun “N.R. Natasha Romanoff” you said, more to yourself than to her. She spoke two letters, your name.

“What is this, who are you?” you said struggling to even out your breathing. “y/n y/l/n” she said. “no it cant be” she said disbelief streaked over her face. “The red room is gone, I killed Dreykov” she said shaking her head and pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes “I hate to break it to you, but Dreykov is very much alive” you said “I’m a widow, I was sent here to kill you, you’re a threat to them” you said staring her directly in the eyes. “Whatever you did, unsuccessful” you said. “do you even remember me?” she said a crease in her forehead and looked up at you “you seem familiar. But no, not really” all hostility had gone out from both your voices, you were both just doing your jobs

She started humming a song, the music sounded eerily familiar, the same feeling you’d felt previously looking at her painted lips flooded you. Familiar, but the memory was just out of reach. “with the lights out, it’s less dangerous, here we are now” she started singing softly “entertainers” you breathed out disbelievingly. It suddenly came rushing back to you

When you’d snuck a radio from your trainers’ office

When you’d sneak out of the cuffs on the beds at night to share hidden kisses with each other

How you’d trained side by side

How a redheaded girl had been by your side when you threw up on your first kill

Natalia. Natasha. You had loved her in secret, between the shadow and the soul. You had loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.

Shock was written clearly over your features. You hadn’t seen her since she’d gotten out, ten years ago. Now that you remembered, you couldn’t believe you didn’t recognize her. The same fiery red hair, same eyebrows, same emerald green eyes, same smile. Same Natalia.

Guilt rushed in like an overwhelming wave, Natasha couldn’t believe that you were still alive, she’d attempted to search for you, almost went crazy when you went completely off grid after the Budapest mission. She’d meant to defect, and then go back for you. She had it all planned out, but you seemed to vanish off the face of the earth “I’m sorry, y/n. I’m so sorry, I tried, I really did. You were just gone, I thought you were dead” You stared back at her in shock “its okay, we were separated, I was sent to Italy, remember? It wasn’t your fault.” You said still in a daze

After moments of confusion over how you didn’t remember someone that important to you, an expression of realization found its way onto your face. Memory removal, of course. The red room had the technology, attachment to anyone, anyone at all was nothing but a weakness. Love is for children, that was what the red room had burned into the widows’ minds.

Hatred shone in your eyes when you realized that Dreykov had practically had his scientists cut the part of you that had loved Natasha out of your brain. “you’re an avenger. Means Dreykov won’t hurt you” you contemplated “or your comrades” you supported your chin on your heel of your palm. Natasha nodded slowly in confusion. “They can’t afford to” she said “so if I was your comrade, they would lose any and all ability to do me harm” she nodded again “I suppose so, yes” when you both locked eyes again, you both knew what the other was thinking. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Natasha asked with a smirk “to burn the red room to the ground? Yes.” You said with a matching smirk

If love was for children, you were both toddlers. After everything the red room and the world had done to keep you apart, you had somehow found your way back to each other again. And you weren’t planning on letting her out of your sight any time soon.

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x y/n #natasha romanoff x you #natasha fluff #natasha romanoff fluff #natasha x reader #black widow x reader #black widow fluff #natasha romanoff angst #natasha angst #black widow angst

[a-supernatural-writer]

Playing With Their Hair

Poly Lost Boys, Michael and Star x Gender neutral reader

Came up with this while chatting with @aliypop. Thank you for giving me this idea, I had so much fun with this!

I love playing with hair/having my hair played with so here's an imagine where the reader like playing with their partners' hair and they receive some loving back.

Warnings?: there's like a few curse words...?

Playing with your multiple partners' hair was something that you did absentmindedly. Whether it be while you were doing a task that kept you in one spot, cuddling with them, being near them or even to just get your mind off things.

Though some of your partners allowed it more than others. Dwayne was at the top of your list of people that loved it when you played with his hair. He loved it when you would run your fingers through it and scratch his scalp. At times you would catch him almost falling asleep.

He also liked it when you would braid his hair. Sometimes when he would wake up in your nest he would find small random braids in his hair and thought it was absolutely adorable. He wore them the entire night and didn’t take them out until you did so yourself.

There were a handful of times that you’ve given him an actual french braid. You would smile when you would take it out the next day, his usual straight hair now a little wavy.

Dwayne would also reciprocate the action. If you were laying down with him or just leaning against him, he would play with your hair as well. If it was long enough, he would braid your hair as well. He’s the only one who kills it at braiding. If your hair was short, he would just run his fingers through it, scratching your scalp to lull you to sleep.

Beads were also a big thing between the two of you. If you wanted to give him a few braids, you sometimes wanted to add a couple of beads as you braided. He would do the same with you, picking out your favorite colors and wearing a smile the entire night when you wouldn’t take them out.

Paul enjoys it as well, I mean, have you seen his hair? The boy runs his hands through his hair to get that teased look. He loves it when you tease it yourself, trying to fix it from laying down in your nest or even just from causing chaos.

This boy purrs when you run his fingers through his hair. He’s like a big cat… or a golden retriever that loves the attention. He will lay practically on top of you as you play with his hair. You wanna put in a few braids? Sure! Just please take them out before he goes to sleep. He’ll wear them out no problem but he doesn’t want them for too long.

Paul mostly enjoys you just running your fingers through it. He will play with your hair, no questions asked. If he does, expect him to stare at your face like a love-sick puppy when he does. He loves you to death and just watching you be so relaxed by his touch could make his dead heart beat one more time.

Plus, he fidgets a lot so letting him play with your hair was a BIG thing. He would try his best to give you braids but would fail and you were lucky that he didn’t tie your hair into a knot if it was long enough. If it was short, he would still have fun just playing with the small strands of hair.

Michael 100% down with you touching his hair which made you very happy. Have you seen his curls?!?! They are so soft!! Probably has the softest hair out of the entire bunch. You love running your fingers through his hair and you are not the only one. Everyone seems to love the softness, everyone somehow and someway has run their fingers through his hair.

He loves affection and playing with his hair not only calmed you, but it also calmed him. Multiple times he has fallen asleep in your lap and you definitely aren’t complaining about it.

Since his hair isn’t necessarily long, you can braid it, but it isn’t going to be the best. You are incredibly lucky if you can get a couple braids. You mostly just play with the curls, pulling them and watching them spring back into place which always makes you giggle and make little sound effects with them. (Side note: I have really curly hair and so many people did this to me.)

He is the only one, apart from Star and Marko that you can put anything in his hair. Sometimes you’ll put in random clips, pulling some of the hair back into a new hairstyle. The clips would range from simple bobby pins to colorful metal snap clips to more fancier ones with tiny jewels on them. A pretty boy deserves pretty clips.

When he plays with your hair, he’s so gentle. Treating you like glass and mostly is pushing you hair out of your face so he could stare at it. Your heart clenches when he looks at you lovingly and running his fingers through your hair.

Star is on the same level as Paul. She melts from your touch. Her favorite thing to do is hug you as you play with her hair. You detangle her long curls, giving her braids like the others and even adding in small beads like Dwayne, but that’s very rarely.

You are convinced that her hair is the longest. Followed by Marko, Dwayne and then Paul. David’s is just a tiny bit longer than Michael’s, so you have so much fun with Star’s hair the most.

Even when you weren’t playing with it while relaxing, you were trying out new hairstyles out on her. You’ve both gone through multiple different looks for her. Experimenting to see what worked and what didn’t. Star could never see what you’ve done but you always explained it to her the best you could or even showed her pictures of what it looks like from magazines.

Star does the same for you. She’ll style it and play with it depending on what length or even what type of hair you had. She always tried her best, giving you looks that she knows you would love. Heck, she’ll even help you dye it or cut it to your wishes if you ask her too. To be honest, Star is the only one you’ll allow to cut or do anything drastic to your hair.

Marko is weird about his hair. He takes care of his luscious golden curls like it’s his baby. It’s on the same level of his jacket. Nobody can really touch or play with it. But if he’s in the mood or gets a little jealous that everyone else's hair is getting love, he wants it too!

Without a word, Marko will just either plop down in front of you or sit on your lap, pulling out the hair tie that keeps his hair back and just mumble that he wants you to play with it. How could you resist? Answer: you couldn’t.

His long beautiful curls were like Michael’s but had a bit more of a bounce to them. You would detangle them, he would love it when you scratched his scalp, closing his eyes and leaning into your touch.

Good luck doing anything to his hair because curly hair is very tricky to work with. The curls get caught easily on each other. You think you have it down? Nope. Nice try. Marko’s hair: 1 You: 0

Marko’s hair is the second softest. Again, he takes care of his curls, he takes pride in them and he will never cut it. Maybe trim it to keep it healthy, but nothing more than an inch off. He’ll lose it.

He LOVES playing with your hair though. Anytime the two of you are together, his hands are playing with anything he can get his hands on. He will even take tips from Star on how to take care of your hair. There are some nights that Marko will take Star’s place and try a style that he thinks will look good on you. You know he was happy with his work because he was smiling all night long.

Now David… David’s hair is a no. Don’t touch it in front of the others, don’t even think about it. He’s like Marko. His mullet is a part of him and he doesn’t like people fucking with it. But that’s when he’s around the others. In private, just the two of you, it’s a whole different story.

Even in private though, he’s still a little protective of it. Very rarely will he just let you "play" with it. It’s only if he’s in a really good mood or he’s stressed. If he’s stressed, it’s probably one of the best things you can do for him. He especially likes it when you scratch the lower back of his head, right where it connects with his neck. Don’t ask why, it just feels good.

Another thing that he really likes is when you push back any stray hairs of his. Your fingers would brush against his face, hitting a little bit of his scruff as you pushed back a stray hair behind his ear. If you do that, dear lord, have mercy on your soul because he likes it way too much.

Other than that, you aren’t touching it unless you two are doing some kinky shit, which is the only other time he’ll let you touch it. Just pulling his hair at the base, the same place he likes scratched, and that’s when I wish you all the luck in the world. He isn’t letting you go at all that night.

David really only plays with your hair if he’s thinking about something. He’ll usually be laying with you in your nest, smoking a cigarette in one hand while petting your hair with the other, deep in thought. He doesn’t say anything as he does so and that’s okay. He’s content and so are you.

Also, don’t let anybody else know, but how the hell do you think his hair is platinum blonde, almost white? You are the only one to bleach and dye his hair. He will never live down the teasing from the others if they saw him with the foil in his locks. The only one he would allow to see was Dwayne. Before you came along, he was the one helping.

Apart from that, there are multiple times when a handful of you have braid trains. And that includes Michael, you and Dwayne; in the specific order. Michael learns from both you and Dwayne on how to braid hair.

Occasionally, Marko might join, letting Dwayne braid his hair. You’re a little jealous cause somehow Dwayne has magic fingers and is able to braid Marko’s hair with no problem.

Of course, like David, all of them either like pulling your hair or getting theirs pulled in a certain way. More or less, it’s David, Dwayne, and Marko that prefer pulling yours. Paul and Michael like it when you do it to them and Star… this girl is a wild card, you never know with her.

Either way, playing with their hair or them playing with yours is, in a way, therapeutic for all of you and it brings you all even closer together.

#the lost boys #the lost boys 1987 #the lost boys x reader #david x reader #dwayne x reader #paul x reader #marko x reader #michael x reader #michael emerson x reader #star x reader #poly lost boys #poly star and michael #gender neutral reader #lost boys david #lost boys dwayne #lost boys paul #lost boys marko #lost boys michael #lost boys star #gay vampires #vampires #Playing with their hair #i love playing with my friends hair and i love it when they play with mine #so you know #i had to with my fav group of vamps #michaels hair is soft af #you can not convince me otherwise #i just want to touch #please? #the boys and star have a thing with pulling hair

[gojology]

Strawberry Flavored Pocky.

pairing : teen! gojo x gender neutral reader warnings : the big three: unedited, most likely badly written, and some cursing. also there’s like.. graphic imagery that gojo and reader exchange to eachother. it’s just banter though! wordcount : 2273 a/n : for that one anon that wanted teen gojo. my stroke of genius always occurs when im eating strawberry flavored pocky i swear.. anyways yeah this is unfiltered writing n it’s probably like not the best tbh and maybe i didn’t nail teen gojo’s personality but u know what this was so fun to write

     The sound of the tear of the wrapper containing the Pocky you had just bought was music to your ears, crinkling with every touch. Your fingers are itching to grab for the deliciously coated sticks, but you’re stopped by someone none other than Gojo Satoru himself.       “What’d you get?” he inquired, seemingly unbothered by the face you were making, he hadn’t even greeted you with a simple, “Hello.” he sat down on the bench seat right next to you, uninvited.       In his hand were many bags of various sweet treats, you could only make out some familiar ones- ramune flavored gummies, a bag of chips, vibrantly colored candy. Your lips quirk downwards, exhaling, turning to face the setting sun.       “Just some Pocky.” you flatly respond, beginning to pick the biscuit up. Contrary to Gojo’s wide choice of snacks, you only really had one favorite- Pocky. Specifically, Strawberry flavored Pocky. The sweet, yet somewhat tart aftertaste treat dominated your mind almost day and night. It wasn’t everyday that Yaga would be lenient enough to take the four of you to the local convenience store. You were waiting for Shoko and Geto to finish shopping to finally head home for a night of yummy snacking.       Gojo sighs, lazily dropping the treats right next to his side, they sat idly, limply resting on his thigh as he crossed his right leg over his left knee. His hands warmly nestled into his snowy white hair, his elbows jutting into your personal bubble.        “Not one to chat, are you? What’s the problem? You scared?” his tone is teasing, and you jerk your head to face his. Your head is tilted, like your confused, but in reality you’re just astounded how obnoxious he was.       “Why in the world would I be scared of you? You wouldn’t lay a finger on me. Yaga-Senpai would rip your limbs off one by one and fling you into the horizon! And he’s not even that far away, I could report you to him if you even get on my nerves in the slightest.” you shot back, huffing and taking your first bite on the biscuit. You instantly melt.       He flashes you a toothy smile, and you stiffen, did he ever take anything seriously? “Oh my, so riled up. Only scaredy-cats would talk about how not scared they were. Look, you’re even shaking-” he gestures to your just slightly shaking, tightened grip on your Pocky. “-I win, Y/N! Boo hoo, case closed, gimme your Pocky~”        “No, fuck you and your fat ass trying to take my Pocky, I’m not shaking from fear anyways.” you sternly retort, warmth rushing to your cheeks for whatever reason. “I’m shaking because I’m resisting the urge to duct tape your mouth shut and gouge your eyeballs out.”       He chuckles warmly as if your gruesome detailing was humorous, he probably didn’t know you meant it. He too, ripped open one of his snacks. “Calm down, Y/N. I was joking, I could buy Pocky’s whole stock and probably also buy my position up as CEO if I wanted to. I wouldn’t leech off of you, sugar.” readjusting his crooked, circular shades, he looked down at your now slack grip on the wrapper.      Unanswering, you’re grumbling instead. Under your breath, you’re curious as to how Gojo hasn’t realized how obnoxious he was, and how much longer could he survive without his head exploding from how big it was from his inflated ego?      Gojo grinned. He was all too aware of those things, but who really cared?      “Not unless you let your guard down!-” unable to finish the rest of his sentence, he yanked up the wrapper from your hands, using the extent of his long arm to dangle it high above your head. Your reflexes are far too slow to react, causing you to glare at him in a mixture of shock, hatred, and disbelief.      “Give-” you jump, arm reaching towards your snack, but he backs off, snickering and still dangling it above your head. “It-” now you’ve leapt up on the bench, grabbing at the wrapper to no avail. “Back!-” whimpering and flailing your arms out, every time you came close to retrieving your rightfully owned pack of Pocky, he’d simply throw it to his other hand so carelessly it pissed you off. All the while giggling, juggling it like a clown.      A breath of laughter escapes his lips as he looks at you, prancing around like a circus act on the bench, yelling curses and many death-wishes to his clan. Your eyebrows are knitted together, and he can’t just help but realize how adorable you were when concentrated in getting something- so stubborn.    “Okay, okay!” and as if Gojo had flipped a switch, you simmer down, looking at him with an impatient side-eye. “You want it, doggie?”     “Refer to me as doggie, and I’ll send a pack of strays to ravage you.”       Gojo exhaled out of his nose. “You’re a funny one, doggie.” did he just dismiss the conversation you two were having literally 2 seconds prior? “I’ll ask this again, do you want to get your treats back?” his eyes are glinting with amusement and child-like glee. You were almost sure that he had started calling your beloved Pocky as treats because of just how well it suited the nickname Doggie. It looked like you would be getting no where unless you paid no mind to him calling you such a.. Derogatory name.       Grumbling and studying the concrete you were currently trampling on, you exasperatedly sigh.       “Yes. I do want my Pocky back.” you grunt, averting your gaze to anywhere but Gojo’s shoes.       He perks up in approval, drawing out a long, “Hmmm?” as if he hadn’t expected you to give up so easily. “What are the magic words, Y/N?”       This was so humiliating.       “Please?” you politely say through gritted teeth. If it weren’t for the general public bustling about, you would’ve lunged for his unruly hair and tear it out of his scalp.       “Hah! You think I’m gonna do that sorta bullshit?” he crosses his arms, Pocky tucked safely under his arm. You wince, thinking about how the biscuits may potentially be snapped in half. Did you really want your snack still? It probably smelled like Gojo’s armpit sweat, death, and all the bad things in the world combined. “You’re gonna have to earn it, Y/N, in a game.”       Now convinced that Gojo was the manifestation of all the bad karma that you had avoided, you stare at him with wide eyes and fear, the irritation long gone. Games, no, scratch that, literally anything with Gojo only resulted in a small, or maybe large piece of your sanity torn away from you, lost to the infinite dark abyss. Maybe that’s why Geto seemed to slowly go insane everyday.       “On second thought, I’ll just go-”      He cuts you off, alarm now displayed on full view, his face contorting back to neutral. “Wait, no! It won’t be hard. Pinkie promise.” extending a pinkie towards you, you gently slap it away. The mood change was so instant, you were still shocked, that, and he was almost a legal adult and still believed in pinkie promises.      Still hesitant, you quirk an eyebrow, crossing your arms over your chest. “I’d rather spend another two dollars than play whatever game your planning, unless you tell me about it.”      “That’s a given, besides, it won’t take too long, Y/N. I think you’ll like it.” he replies cheerfully, leaning and whisper-yelling into your ear, fruitfully jolting you up. Seriously, did he have any idea what personal space was?      After just a few seconds of thinking, you roll your eyes in defeat. “Okay, what’s this game?”      His incredibly long fingers inserted themselves inside the crinkling wrapper, pulling out a slender stick. You’re almost sure your salivating, and subconsciously swallow the lump at the back of your throat. “Okay, rules of this game are... Hm, we both place our mouths at both ends of the stick. You get the pretzel part because that part sucks.” mischief flickers in his eyes briefly. “Whoever can get down the Pocky longest without being afraid of kissing and pulling back, loses and doesn’t get the Pocky. Whoever stays in their place wins. I’ll throw in some money, deal or no deal?”       “This doesn’t sound.. Fun.” you were still skeptical, but curiosity was blossoming rapidly inside of you. Could you really resist such an intriguing request? The guy was rich, and he did say he’d throw in some money. Gojo probably hated the thought of you, too. You could probably get up and close, get him to cower away from the thought of locking lips with you, and you’d be on your merry way.       “Um, actually, never mind. Let’s do this.” you chirp, the weariness had depleted completely. Besides, Gojo would pester you into doing it anyways, this would effectively save time. The expression on his face was indecipherable, silently wishing to yourself to see his eyes. You wonder if they’re wide open, in shock of your acceptance.       He gently placed the biscuit between your lips, his thumb brushing against it. Your breath hitches, now he’s up close. The shades adorning his handsome features, concealing those vivid blue eyes of his made your heart pace quicken in just seconds, maybe it was because he could see you- and you couldn’t. Your gaze shifts to the tufts of white hair hanging above his forehead. His bangs look lusciously soft, so soft you wonder what it’d be like to ruffle his unruly hair, what did it smell like? What conditioner did he use?     Your cheeks darken, but you hope he doesn’t notice it. This was what people thought of when they saw pretty people up close, it wasn’t like you had a thing for him, he was just attractive, that’s all.      “You look real stupid holding that stick between your teeth and looking at me.” he comments, charmingly smirking as you give him another death glare, unable to speak in fear of dropping the Pocky stick. You could count each individual hair strand he had on top of his head with the amount of time he was taking.      Chomp.     You take the first bite, and you can’t help but realize how much your heart is fluttering about in your chest. Eyelashes fluttering, nerves getting jittery, the exchange was strangely intimate. No kidding, of course it was- if the two of you were adamant and continued to chomp on the stick, it would only end in a kiss. There was no way around it.      He takes a bite too, his lips look curved in a dopey smile, but there’s not a single word traded between the two of you, just tiny, slight nibbles. It would be eons until someone finished, and you were growing impatient by the minute. Quicken the pace. Quicken the fucking pace.     So you did the unthinkable, you quickened the pace.     Taking a large bite, he pauses for a minute- as if to think, before taking an even larger bite. Now, 2/3′s of the original stick is gone. One more large bite, and a kiss would follow suit. Now, you’re sweating bullets, eyes bouncing from him, back down to the microscopic sized Pocky. His lips are so, so close. Soft, plush pink, so glossy you’re inclined to ask what brand of lip gloss he uses. You can hear his breathing grow heavier, why wasn’t he giving up?      The two of you don’t take a single bite, plainly avoiding the objective, the world around you had evaporated into thin air. It’s you, and Gojo Satoru.      You nibbled a little bit more, and then you make up your mind. You’re going to kiss-       Growing chatter grew closer to closer, and you realize Shoko’s monotone and Geto’s lively voice, alongside a very disgruntled Yaga.       “Yeah, she’s pretty hot. I actually liked the movie- Uh...?” the steady rhythm stopped against the concrete. Immediately, you straighten and clear your throat, spitting out the Pocky stick into the nearby grass. Gojo follows suit, shoving his hands deep into his pockets and twirling around. “Oh hey, Geto!-”       “Are we interrupting something? Something.. Important?” Shoko quizzes, struggling to stifle her giggling. A sheepish smile was displayed widely on your face for the world to see, hands behind your back like you were hiding something. Gojo, on the other hand, is facing the other direction, whistling and staring at the now setting sky.       You stutter, cheeks growing even darker. Yaga looks as disgruntled as ever, facepalming and murmuring to himself. Geto looks ecstatic.        “MY MAN!” he beams. “WERE YOU GOING TO-”       “SHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!” Shoko shushes him in response, turning her head back to the two of you. You looked like you had just seen a ghost. “We thought you hated Gojo, we’re just...” her head is cocked slightly, an understanding expression on her features. “Just surprised, is all.”       Spluttering, you try to explain yourself- but no sound comes out. Your mouth is opening and closing, struggling to find the words.       “I do hate him... I just... He.. Pocky.. He uh...”       “Sheeeeeeeesh! Poor Y/N over here is going through some shock right now!” Gojo muses aloud, he places an arm around your shoulders, pulling you in under his arm. There’s a small, coy grin on his lips. As if he didn’t try kissing you 1 minute ago. “Just ignore them, anyways, what are we having for dinner tonight? I heard there’s a really good KBBQ place down the street that just opened..”      As much as you hate Gojo, his ability to escape anything did come in handy.    Well, maybe you didn’t hate him as much as you were leading on.     You’d go as far as to say.. Maybe you enjoyed some parts of him.      

#gojo satoru #jjk #jjk fic #teen gojo satoru #jujutsu kaisen #sss trio #gojo #jujutsu kaisen gojo #jujutsu kaisen gojo satoru #jjk gojo satoru #gojo satoru fic #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru x y/n #gojo satoru x you #gojo satoru x gender neutral reader #jujutsu kaisen fic #gojou satoru #gojo x reader #gojo x y/n #gojo x you #anime fic #fanfiction #fic #fanfic #gojo satoru scenario #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x you

[tsukishimas-shortcake]

Relationship Headcanons

↦ Character(s): Hakkai Shiba x fem!reader

↦ Rating/Warning: No rating though there are some light mentions of abuse (if you have read the manga you are aware of what I am talking about, I’m not going very deep into it though it literally just mentions it), mentions of anxiety attacks (no detail though), fluff, not proof read

↦ Word count: 1.8k (longer than planned, sections are bolded)

↦ Your Momo’s Receipt: Hello~ I’m post yet another TR headcanon and this was requested by the lovely @strawbub I hope this doesn’t disappoint, it did get longer than planned but I enjoyed writing it. I'll prob do a part two that's more of a scenario based on your first date or something since I didn't go into it here. Please note: for those of you who don’t know my blog is currently under construction, meaning I will not be updating my masterlist for the time being.

So how did you guys meet, well mostly because of Yuzuha,

One day in like elementary you’re walking home and you see this super pretty middle school girl just like yelling at this small group of guys

The guys end up running off just because they don’t wanna deal with her or the attention she's drawn to them

Behind her was a boy, taller than her but obviously younger. You didn’t assume they knew eachother though.

The boy and yuzuha began walking in opposite directions because one was going home while the other was going to pick up something like groceries

You’re so entranced by how she stood up to them yet she’s a girl who was far smaller and you end up catching up to her, almost stepping on her heels

You end up absent mindedly following her into the grocery store and eventually she just freezes, turns, and stare directly at you

Your eyes widen since you must’ve been staring and she just goes “may I ask why you’re following me?” And you explain how cool she was earlier. She invites you over for dinner (esp since her older brother won’t be home) and figured it’d be good for Hakkai to meet someone his age

You end up going over but Hakkai didn’t come down to eat so you never actually got to meet him, though from then on you would see Yuzuha every so often, visit every other weekend or so

But no matter how often you came over the next few months, you never once met hakkai,

That was until you both reached the end of your middle school education and we’re about to begin high school

You had gone over because you were going to borrow an old work book from Yuzuha, and when you go to knock on the door the door opens before your closed fist could hit it, instead hitting a firm chest

You blush and quickly apologize but the person in front of you doesn’t move at all, doesn’t say anything and almost looks like they drifted into space with their dead stare

You assume this is yuzuha’s older brother because you’ve also never met him and you immediately turn to walk away but Yuzuha calls over hakkai’s shoulder

“Y/N-Chan! You just got here where are you going?” This was def not yuzuha’s older brother. There’s no way she’d be that happy with him around; oh my god. Realization hit, the guy who you hit (though it was more of a tap) was hakkai.

The hakkai you had only caught a glimpse of in yuzuha’s photos, never talked to or actually seen in person despite going to the same school and living in the same neighborhood

He must hate you. That’s why he avoids you. That’s def why - is what you think

Yuzuha drags hakkai back inside and invites you in; you sit down with them in the living room and watch hakkai visibly relax now that he’s inside his house, his own space, with a pillow behind him and a blanket covering his lower half, he almost curls up into it as he continues to avoid your stare

“Hi hakkai…Kun? Im L/N Y/N” you say and you see his face dead pan once again

Yuzuha can be heard laughing from the kitchen as she comes back in.

She leans over and begins explaining that hakkai literally just freezes with any interaction between him and girls who aren’t in his family

You nod, thinking maybe it’s an anxiety thing? Which is the case with you, but only because he’s been watching you since you’ve come over (not in a creepy way) wanting to and working the courage up to talk to you

The 5th or so time you came over after that encounter he was inches away from introducing himself before the house phone rang causing everyone to kind of “wake up” in a sense

Every time since then he gets closer and closer but isn’t able to say anything; he even realizes he has a crush on you.

The way you sit when you do homework and how cute you look when you’re focused.

How your forehead scrunches up when you’re trying to figure something out and you end up just sitting back with a small huff followed by yuzuha’s signature laughter.

It’s also a huge thing that you get along with Yuzuha.

So enough with first meeting time for the confession.

He ends up confessing accidentally. He didn’t know you were coming over to begin with so he was flustered out of his mind. And how was he supposed to know you hadn’t actually fallen asleep and you could hear him over the tv

The tv was more white noise than anything and the day was hot since it was the middle of summer causing the window to be open and the sound of soft wind and small birds to drift in; this was the hot that makes you tired so you were all sprawled out of just sitting in a daze

So while resting your head on the table you’re dozing in and out but then you hear hakkai begin to speak, something he never really did around you

Now did you and hakkai text? Yes. Did it take him an hour to reply because his brain would explode when you replied to him? Yes. But was it a start to communication? Also a yes.

You hear him say your name quietly before he moved closer, you can feel his gaze on your features

“I like you” is all he says. Simple and sweet. But you sit there in shock, trying not to blush so he’ll have no idea you heard him but he can tell because your forehead scrunches

You heard him and are focused on if you should reply or not. And he knows that.

You open your eyes and just look up at him, he’s closer than expected. His hand close to yours on the floor and he reaches over and grabs it lightly. Hoping you’ll also return the gesture by holding his hand instead of leaving your hand limp inside his.

And you do, thank goodness, and Hakkai almost mentally can’t handle it.

Once you start dating it’s more so just hanging out at his house or yours; however he talks a bit more and you text a lot more. He’s gotten better at replying. It usually takes him like 15 minutes now

He’s kinda stressed about your relationship but not due to anything you or him did

He’s stressed because of the mentality his older brother gave him

Is he even allowed to be this happy?

He finally has someone thats small enough and naive enough that he can protect you; compared to constantly being protected it’s a sudden, strong, yet good change for him

He’s touch s t a r v e d

Yes Yuzuha shows affection; but he stopped accepting her hugs when he was around 8 just because he physically wasn’t able to handle it due to his bruises and such

But with you, even with his bruises and all you take care of him. Able to coax him into using medicines and toning down the physical violence (that he can control himself)

He also finds it super soothing when you lightly brush over his scars (especially those that his brother gave him), it helps him believe that scars are only physical and can fade with help

One thing that stresses him out the most is trying to hide you from his brother. Any time you leave something at the house its easy to pass it off as yuzuha's but when it comes to things like photos he has with you, he can't hang them up, show them off, or have them as his phone Lock Screen, etc. because he just really doesn't want his brother to know and target you since he'll then know that you're his weakness (aside from yuzuha as well)

Sometimes won't explain why he can't hang out and has legit pushed you out of his house before at the last minute notice of his brother coming home

Will always make sure you get home safe though, usually by having Yuzuha go with you since then she can just say you're a friend from school

Your parents love him, though they were a bit hesitant it became a "you always have a place to stay" because they learned about their family situation from you and yuzuha. So expect him to spend the night when he's too scared to deal with his brother. Same with yuzuha. (yes I know this isn't yuzuha head canons but its hard to write for him without mentioning her when they're so close)

We're talking three person sleep overs. Yuzuha and you of course share the bed and Hakkai takes some time to even set foot in your room much less sleep on a mattress that's on the floor

He has a small heart attack every time he comes into your room because he's overwhelmed with everything, he's never been so comfortable and it makes him feel restless. Like he's never and I mean n e v e r been less stressed and slept better than when he does so in your room

The smell, the colors, just being surrounded by you is something that completely changes his mood

Once showed up after he fought with his brother, tears in his eyes and clothes a bit tattered and you just pulled him to your room, and sat down with him.

You laid on your bed with him laying down onto of you, head on your chest as you rubbed his head and only said a few words "its not your fault"

He ends up crying so hard he falls asleep and gets dehydrated and you have to make him drink a bunch of water when he finally wakes up.

NSFW

super fucking careful w you

almost annoyingly so, but you're understanding

He knows that he might be taking things frustratingly slow but he knows that since you understand and know his history that you can help him get through it

Your first time you think you'll have to call it off because he's shaking so bad

"baby... are you sure it won't hurt you?" he keeps asking.

pretty sure that's the longest its ever taken him to finish because he was so anxious

despite being so slow and hesitant, late he isn't too scared to get a bit rougher

but im not talking anything crazy im talking like he's willing to pull your hair a bit or nip a bit harder at your neck.

Please never ask him to do anything like degrade you or some type of harsh physical rough shit, he can't

like literally im 99% sure that if you ask him to choke you or something he will pass out because of the anxiety attack he would have at even the thought.

in short with nsfw though he is sweet boy. He's a switch through and through. Loves when you take care of everything because then he doesn't have to be scared of hurting you.

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