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redcap3 · 1 year

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Charming - Pt. 1

Charmed.

Since I became a part of the hypnosis community, it’s been this shining star on the horizon.

“Oh, you should go to Charmed!”

“I got the best idea from this class at Charmed…”

“Last time at Charmed I got so melted…”

The star became even more intense when I became part of the Oikos family.

“I wish you’d been with us for…”

“When you go to Charmed, we’ll…”

“I am going to collar you at Charmed.”

Well. We all know that last one didn’t work out, but the point remains that it took on a status beyond just “this is a big convention” for me.

My Goddess and the other Chosen made it clear that Charmed is their event of the year, a celebration on par with and just as important as the recent winter holidays.

In 2018 I was still navigating the end of my marriage. In 2019, I was too broke after my divorce.

In 2020, I didn’t feel like I could make the money work, and I didn’t ask them to help because it didn’t feel right.

In 2021, I attended online yet still knew I was missing out on the ‘real’ Charmed experience.

In 2022, we were within a week of leaving for the con when the host city declared a health emergency due to spiking COVID delta variant cases, and the family made the decision we had to stay home for safety, even as it broke us.

(There was deep, fundamental damage that day to all of us in the Oikos, and many of those wounds still haven’t healed.)

I don’t regret anything about the collaring that Goddess found a way to perform for me and for Camden Dawn, my amazing counterpart, but there was still a lingering ache of knowing it was not what we had wanted to do.

Last summer I finally made it to Beguiled, and got a taste of what the hypnocon experience could be like.

When Camden came to me and said she needed to be at Charmed regardless of what the family chose to do, I agreed, and I promised her she wouldn’t go alone.

I made every effort to ensure I would be as safe as possible to go.

Third booster for immunocompromised patients? Grabbed mine within a week of the announcement. Bivalent booster? Hit it the day it became available in Minnesota. I asked my doctor if I could do anything else to protect myself, and she even got me the Evushield prophylactic shot series.

I pulled finances together even as I sunk money into dealing with some major house repairs. I researched what would be the best routes if we drove, I checked flights and I watched rental car rates regularly.

On some level I knew that Charmed had been built up in my head into something bigger than any one event could really be, but at the same time a part of my brain said ‘If we go to Charmed, everything finally gets to happen. I get to have my own Charmed stories! Everyone gets better. Everything will be OK again.’

So I basically needed Charmed to be perfect in a way that was genuinely impossible…and yet I am also going to tell you that I had a really great trip!

So how does that work?

Wednesday: In chaos there is…mostly just chaos, actually.

(Administrative note: The Oikos family as a whole and I specifically wore N95 respirators with fitted seals, plugged valves, and disposable filters any time we were in a public space, and changed those filters daily. If I do not mention being masked, please assume that I was masked up in my interactions unless in a private space with the consent of all parties.)

So I should preface that Goddess charged me with doing logistics for the trip after a conversation where the majority of the family decided that we would fly rather than drive.

(Camden and Sleepyhead had already booked plane tickets due to some circumstances, but we would all be in the same hotel)

Within 12 hours of that discussion I had plane tickets booked for Goddess, myself, Copper, Jukebox, Tigress, the younger spawn (hereby referred to YS), and Timbit. (I initially did Timbit's seat by paying for an additional seat under my own name when I booked our tickets online. This turned out to be Wrong. More on this later.)

I booked a rental car which was listed as being able to carry all of us and our luggage for a week, set to be picked up once the main group had landed, plans to get us to the hotel and meet friends, and to get access to two of our three hotel rooms.

(One room was reserved outside of the con block for Goddess, Copper, Jukebox and YS, since they’re only 17 and really do not want to know what we get up to in our spare time. We also had a handicap accessible room paid for by a friend of Goddess’ as a holiday present that was supposed to be in the con block (it was four doors down from the “outside” room, and nowhere near the con block or the con area!), and a “standard” room Camden had booked that was in the con area and turned out to be much more accessible for me to get around the con than the accessible rooms!)

We all slept at the “prime” Oikos house Tuesday evening, with cabs scheduled to pick up the primary traveling groups and take us to the airport at 7:30am so we would be ready for our 10:20 flight to Baltimore. I even checked us all in, prepaid for checked bags and forwarded the electronic boarding passes to everyone Tuesday afternoon so we could get to our gate with as little stress as possible.

(I had originally planned on a Lyft XL capable of taking the group, but there were some concerns about the Lyft driver not wanting to take a dog.)

There were expected to be some light snow flurries, but nothing that would cause too much trouble. We would get picked up, go to the Delta counter closest to the airport’s south security checkpoint which was almost directly across from our gate’s concourse, and be golden.

Which is why we were totally shocked to wake up and find that freezing rain had coated everything in about a quarter inch of ice.

For those who don’t know: I have RA and mobility issues, and was planning on using my cane to get around the airport.

But first I had to get my luggage. From my car. Parked on the driveway.

The roughly fifty degree slope driveway. Covered in ice.

Worse, as we attempted to abseil down the slopes to get everything together from the house for the trip to the airport, we quickly realized our cabs were nowhere to be found.

We ended up taking two Lyft rides after all, though I was so deep into trying to adjust the plans on the fly that I didn’t even notice Goddess, Tigress, Timbit, and YS getting picked up from the other side of the house!

Once Copper, Jukebox, the rest of the bags and I were on the way, I got a notification on my phone that our gate had changed from Concourse G to Concourse F, but at least it was still in the same general area.

Then we got to the Delta counter and found out our gate was now in “C” concourse - on the opposite side of the airport.

I took my bag to the drop, and found out my main bag that I had (over) packed with outfits, rope, and toys was seven pounds overweight.

Rather than try to repack my carryon and checked bag, I took the financial hit, got into the precheck lane at the south checkpoint, and asked for help from a handicap assistance cart to run me over to the gate while Copper and Jukebox headed for the north checkpoint.

At the same time, Goddess and her party were being dropped off, and thanks to our heads up they went to the North checkpoint.

Unfortunately, a TSA agent decided to give Goddess a headache about YS’s legal gender on their passport not marching the ticket (YS found themselves to be non-binary since the passport was issued) and then wanted to know why Timbit didn’t have an animal pass.

That would be my fuckup, since I didn’t know Timbit needed an animal pass since she was in a carrier and had a ticket to travel in the main cabin.

Goddess, YS, and Tigress went back to the Delta counter, finding Copper along the way, and eventually sorted the situation out while I sat at our gate, increasingly confused and hungry.

(I had planned to get something from a caribou by our original gate and use a straw / strategic positioning to be able to lift my mask seal long enough to eat, but with the gate change there was nothing close enough to get to easily with my carryon and cane.)

My solution, once I was caught up via discord on what was going on, was to provide as much info as I could to Goddess until the Delta agent was able to help sort it all out, and to put in a mobile order at the Dunkin Donuts near-ish to our gate on the concourse with a request for Tigress to grab it in exchange for getting her a Diet Coke. In the meantime, Delta provided Goddess with a wheelchair and attendant to get her down to the gate, and everyone else followed suit.

Now I need you to know I used the Dunkin app to order egg bites, an iced coffee, Tigress’ Diet Coke, and on impulse, a brownie batter donut.

Boarding was called shortly after Tigress let me know she had the order, so I let her know Goddess and I were pre-boarding with Timbit, and to please bring me the food and I’d try to eat on the plane before the doors were closed.

Long story short, Tigress arrived with a donut and a Diet Coke because that was all the Dunkin staff gave her, and I had to open a ticket with Dunkin’s mobile order support to see if I could get the other $10 of stuff refunded.

It had been aggravating, stressful, and I got a big blob of chocolate goo on my t-shirt, but we all got on the plane and into our seats without further incident.

(Well, aside from the ticket agent wondering why I had two tickets, which I had to explain again about Timbit (and my size making it generally a good policy to have an extra seat next to me) and the agent said “Oh, you didn’t have to do it that way! You could have saved some money!”

Notice she didn’t actually offer to refund me that money. Yeah. Thanks, Delta!)

The flight itself was pretty uneventful, and I have to praise the best pup here - Timbit (who was admittedly stoned out of her little puppy mind on CBD dog treats) didn’t bark, whine, or make a mess in her carrier. She was sweet and good and Goddess and I did our best to open the carrier when possible and give her pets, contact, and reassurance.

(Oh, and we were miraculously not caught in the FAA shutting down a majority of air traffic that morning! A bit of luck I am still grateful for.)

We finally reached Baltimore, waited for most of the passengers to deplane, and eventually got off the plane and down to baggage claim, and I suggested to Copper that the two of us go to the rental car depot to get the rental and have him added as an additional driver so he could take YS out to the Smithsonian at a couple points during the con, while the others got bags together and took a break to rest.

(For those who have never needed to acquire ground transportation at BWI, it is a bit different from most of the airports in the US, where a rental car garage / parking deck will be located adjacent to the Terminal. To get a rental car at BWI, you must take a shuttle bus out to a facility that is about 3 miles away from the airport, where you will also return the car when it is time to go home. For Copper and I, this meant a ~10 minute bus ride (after hustling, and failing, to catch the one going by as we left baggage claim), then a short walk to the Enterprise counter.

Unlike our airline experience, getting the car reservation pulled up and having Copper added as a driver was pretty painless!

I was starting to drag a bit (a lot) due to lack of food / water and wearing my Envo N95 respirator for the better part of six hours at that point, but a reprieve was in sight.

Sort of.

Y’see, I mentioned reserving a “Full Size” SUV / Crossover? The first two options we were shown were both crossovers with only 5 seats.

Third time was mostly a charm with a Nissan Armada that we dubbed “Cyclonus the Rental Tank.” It had three full rows of seats with decent legroom, but loading cargo required a bit of tetris when we got back to BWI to load the family in. Still, it was a vehicle, it ran, and we’d fit in it. Good enough.

(It turns out it also had a hair trigger throttle, an acceleration curve that was more like a sheer cliff, and a navigation system that I well and truly hated by the end of the drive to the hotel, but hey, it did the job!)

We made the way down to the hotel, got our first room secured, and got everyone and their things inside while we tried to work on the second. (Oh - and those ‘accessible’ rooms? Required you to take a half flight of stairs unless you wanted to enter or leave the hotel from a side door! I might have been a bit peeved about that.)

I had already planned to make a Target run for needed supplies (CPAP water, potable water, drinks, snacks, first aid stuff), and we ordered some pizza for everyone because I was about ready to start eating some of my metamours at that point.

(Sorry, Jukebox.)

After pizza arrived and I managed to eat and have some water, my mood was back up into at least “mildly chuffed”, and I began texting with Panda, who had graciously offered to re-color my hair when I had lamented not having time to dye it during my con prep. (OK, I actually started texting Panda after we had boarded the flight, but now we got serious.)

Getting the information to get into the second room took a lot longer than we had expected, and I was way past overstimmed and overwhelmed by that point. Even busying myself with putting the Target order in so I could pick it up later didn’t really help much, and it was an incredible relief when we finally got the keys and I could retreat for a few minutes…just as I got the notification that the Target order was ready.

I took a deep breath, asked Tigress if she would come with me, and we made our way over to get the stuff, which was mostly uneventful.

(Note: WHO PUTS MULTIPLE DRIVE-UP AREAS IN DIFFERENT LEVELS OF THE RAMP?) We would return to the hotel, get stuff distributed, and I was finally able to tell Panda that it could come down to start having hair fun, and I let another friend, Linnybee, know that I had the “Trance Cards” she had asked me to print ready so that we could hole punch them, attach ribbons / twine, and hopefully distribute them during the con as fun ways to keep track of scenes and as souvenirs.

Not too long after we started making good progress on the cards, Panda arrived, and I broke out the various (and generally less than ⅓ full) bottles of color I’d had left in my house from the last time I had a friend help me color it at home. It was not long before I was changing into pajama pants and an old tank top so Panda could get to work mixing up purples, blues, and pinks, and place a very shiny cape around my neck. (“I’ve got foils and everything!”) Side note: Panda and I have been friends since sometime in 2020, but this was our first in person meeting instead of zoom, discord, or text conversations. It gave me an amazing hug when we finally got to be in person, and squished very nicely. Huzzah. It will probably not surprise anyone that after a long and stressful day, sitting down and letting Panda mess with my hair eventually turned into Panda messing with my head, getting nicely relaxed and trancy as it took care of me, lightly fractionating me but being careful not to completely melt my brain since I still had things to do. (Turns out this also did Tigress some splash damage, which, well, whoops!) Goddess and Timbit dropped by while we waited for the color to set, and it wasn’t long before I was stripping down to shower and rinse off the excess dye while Panda made sure everything was combed out and looking good, then washed my hair with color protecting shampoo and conditioner. By the end my hair was purple and pink with blue accents that looked amazing and I got the chance to spend a bit more time with Panda and Linny before they each needed to be off to their next adventures, while I got dressed again to head back to BWI to pick up Camden and Sleepy.

We had passed a Steak & Shake on the highway on our way between the airport and hotel, making plans to grab food there for a late dinner with everyone on the way back from BWI, but in the post pandemic world it appears that S&S is no longer a 24/7 beacon of grease and hand spun goodness, so a backup plan of chicken, biscuits, and fries was arranged to be delivered to Goddess’ room while I made my way up to the Arrivals section of the terminal and found a good spot to wait, pulling up to the curb moments before I got a message from Sleepyhead that their plane had touched down.

When they emerged and made their way to the car with their bags there were hugs and a few kisses before we got back on the road, and I happily listened to how they had each tranced each other during the flight. I had known that Daja and Sleepy had planned a special experience for Cammie on the plane, but I was just as squeeful with compersion to hear about Miss Dawn putting our lovely dolly into her own deep trance.

I dropped them at the front of the hotel so that Camden could get checked in and acquire room keys, then parked the tank as close to Goddess’ room as I could, meeting everyone inside for a meal and some quiet hanging out time before I eventually went down to take a look at Camden’s room and I asked if it would be OK for me to stay down in their room rather than try to do a lot of stairs and walk about two-thirds of the length of the hotel any time I wanted to go back and forth. I was concerned about Tigress feeling abandoned, but she completely understood why I needed that access, and I was grateful for her acceptance. Bags were grabbed, stuff was shifted, and I ended up getting ready for bed with Sleepy curled up against me in one of the two queens and Camden in the other, listening to Goddess’ peaceful sleep file as the three of us drifted off. Thursday: Pre-Con sounds great, but…

Somehow, despite going to bed closer to 2am than not, the three of us woke around 8 and no-one died. I had originally planned to attend EnScenic’s Music, Hypnosis, & Hijinx class that morning at 10, but after I took my meds and did some self reflection, it was clear that what I really needed was to take it easy that morning.

I am reasonably sure I had breakfast, though I genuinely do not remember what it was, grabbed some extra naptime with Sleepyhead, and eventually arranged to get some additional groceries for the weekend delivered to our room, though I was continually thwarted in my search for the high-protein shakes my dietician recent recommended I add to my meal planning.

I also stopped by registration and got my badge somewhere in there, but I genuinely don’t remember when or how, though I did run into several friends and acquaintances along the way to say “Hi!”

Sleepy has been open about her battles with anxiety and depression as she prepared for and attended the con, so I will say that I spent some time comforting her while Camden went out to explore and meet up with several people (including Daja, once she arrived), and not too long after we had a nice lunch sent over from the Double T diner, she asked if I could use some pallet wrapI had in my bag to give her a nice comfy bondage hug and a trance that soon turned into restful sleep. (Note: Double T is a descendent of the Greek Diner tradition, and their Moussaka was amazing. It reminded me so much of the Moussaka I used to get at Matsos’ back in Wooster that I would not be shocked to learn their family recipes both came from the same part of the country. Not a crucial part of the weekend, but it was a nice and unexpected bit of comfort and nostalgia for me!) I eventually decided to skip the afternoon classes as well, given that I needed to (in no particular order) acquire our massive household cookie order from EnScenic, pick up the books I had shipped to the Con via Daja to sell and drop them off with EnScenic so she could vend them when I wasn’t available, pick up rope I had ordered ahead of time from Lynx and her company MFA designs that I secretly intended to gift to Daja since she had expressed an interest in learning how to do rigging and I had offered to show her some of the basic ties I use with Cammie as her subject and Sleepy as my demo partner, go to a hardware store (or arrange delivery) for hex keys because I forgot my lightsabers’ set screw keys, my wife to murder and Guilder to blame for it.

(If it sounds like I was kinda overcommitted this weekend, you are exactly right. A big lesson I am taking away is to really think about how many hours are in the day, and how much I actually will feel able to do.) Oh, and did I mention that I was part of the on-site consent team, and was on-call in case any issues came up before our kickoff meeting / pizza party that night?

Yeah.

Thankfully we did not get any calls for consent issues that I was asked to help with that day, but it was a constant tickle in the back of my head as I tried to keep an eye on our reporting channels and discord chats.

Somehow, 90% of what I wanted to do got done, and I even managed to pick up a couple of badge ribbons from Meraklis, who I had done a fun scene with at Beguiled and was looking forward to seeing more of later.

Daja, her spouse Turq, and Cammie came back to the room for dinner, and we picked up Italian as a compromise between most of the group wanting pizza, and me already being pizza’d out thanks to having a lot of pizza on Monday and Wednesday, and knowing more pizza was in my future for the late evening. We ordered from a local restaurant called Bella Italia, and my eggplant rollatini was delicious, thank you.

There was a bit of light play before and after we ate, but it was generally just a happy hangout time with good friends and watching some AGDQ speedruns. Daja was given the rope (though we kinda had to do a raincheck on the lesson - more on that later), and Turq and I got to vibe a bit while mutually appreciating Sleepy.

(For those not familiar with Sleepyhead, A) How? and B) You should know that basically everyone in the community is a little bit in love with her, and it is a beautiful thing. Since this was our first time attending a hypnocon together, I privately made a promise to myself to give her as much freedom as she wanted to play with friends, other partners, and potential play or romantic partners. I didn’t want her to feel I was constantly following her around or breathing down her neck, and I think we both did a good job of letting each other do what we needed to do while communicating and occasionally sharing fun stories or experiences when we had proper permission.)

I went to part of the “Welcome” event hosted by Psy and the concom that evening, but lack of seating eventually made me move over to the room where the Consent Team meeting was to be held while I read a bit and futzed with my phone.

One of my goals for Charmed was to try to get out in the community more, since most people either knew me from my writing or an online event or two. I made a goal to be more social and make more connections in the community, so I decided to put a post out in the “Looking For Play At Hotel” channel to let people know I was open to play on both sides of the watch, so to speak, and that I had brought stuff to do rope, impact, and sensation play. Once that was done I also reached out to some friends and previous play partners who were doing classes, and asked about being a potential demo bottom for a few of them.

Well, I quickly learned that offering to be a top at a kink con will get you a lot of attention, as my messages exploded within moments of the post going up.

I replied to as many as I could, making plans to negotiate and potentially play on Friday or Saturday, generally with an eye for making use of the dungeon while it would be open, but leaving in-room play on the table as well.

The consent team kickoff would go smoothly, with our fearless leaders Spinfrog and T distributing plastic file folders to keep our paperwork, notepads, kleenex, and some emergency candy in, and we made sure everyone had their ground rules (and more pizza) before breaking up. I ended up bumping into Meraklis again while she was talking to several people about her Jedi Mind Trick triggers, and she asked if I’d mind being an impromptu demo, since I wanted to have the trigger refreshed anyway. (Oh no, please don’t throw me into that briar patch...)

The trigger is pretty simple: If Merkalis or someone you trust waved their hand in front of you in the usual “Jedi” manner, you froze for a few seconds and then went back to normal. If they waved and said a phrase (“These aren’t the droids you’re looking for”), you would blank out, repeat the phrase, and then surface again.

It’s cute, it’s silly, and I love it dearly. When it was set up at Beguiled she had put a limit of the trigger expiring once the convention ended, but this time we left it a bit more open ended as long as I was in a safe place with people I was comfortable going into trance around.

I had a few more hallway conversations on my way back, including bumping into someone who I had a warm and happy conversation with, and knew I recognized, but my brain utterly failed to identify her(?) by name, and since they didn’t have a badge on, I was SOL.

(You were wearing a cute motorcycle jacket, skirt, and a steel infinity collar, and I had hoped to run into you again and say Hi / actually get your name! If you read this, please ping me so we can catch up more?)

I would return to the room, a bit tired but still in good emotional space, and Sleepy would ask if her friend gothsocks could come down to say hello for a bit.

I had also been talking to socks and getting to know her better, so I happily agreed. We had been discussing the possibility of doing a dollification and cuddles / light play scene during the weekend, so I was happy to just have some low key, no pressure hang out time to build some groundwork and rapport.

(Plus socks is neat, and again: trying to be a more social creature.)

What mostly ended up happening was socks and I nerding out over FFXIV’s latest expansion and new classes / raids / dungeons for a while before we all needed to get some sleep while Sleepyhead watched us infodump back and forth, and it was great.

Not long after goth left Sleepy and I planned out a few things for Friday before we got cuddled up for bed again, knowing that Camden was likely to be spending the night elsewhere.

#charmed #charmed 2023 #con recap #hypnosis #oikos #oikos life

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influencermagazineuk · 1 year

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An Interview on the “Living My Best Life Tour” with Humanitarian and Business Woman, Calynn M. Lawrence

Calynn M. Lawrence Calynn M. Lawrence is a 27-year-old media personality, humanitarian and businesswoman from Chicago, IL. She’s been acknowledged in the press as “a one girl revolution,” “the Queen Midas of creative community service,” and a “Supergirl of small business PR.” You may have seen her on the front pages of The Los Angeles Tribune (2021 and 2023), The Washington Mail (2021, 2022, and 2023), New York Today (2022 and 2023), The Billionaire's Diary (2017 and 2018), Cosmo Press (2023), Yahoo! Finance India (2020) or the tens of other media outlets that she has been featured in. She is the Founder and CEO of the Calynn Communications & Creative corporation. They own the nonprofit initiative The Fresh Faces Project (est. 2014) that has helped over 800 budding starlets, the Chicago Talent TV (est. 2018) web series that has amassed hundreds of thousands of views, and the online publications The World Times, What’s Good Weekly, Millionaire’s in the Making and Icons in the Now. She’s been critically acclaimed for her influential and impactful work in marketing, media and PR with a resume over a decade long filled with community service, a plethora of successful campaigns with industry giants and countless red carpet photo ops. Some of her accolades include holding four RCCI Academy Awards, Woman of the Year, the National Humanitarian Award, and more, as well as being the former Miss World America Nation 2020 and Miss United States Universe Tourism 2021. Today, we had the chance to sit down with Calynn and discuss the latest updates on her “Living My Best Life Tour” and get some intel on her personal and professional life as an inspiring entrepreneur. Calynn M. Lawrence Overall, how is the “Living My Best Life Tour” going for you? What have you been up to? Life is going pretty good for me! I’ve been doing awesome secularly between all of my entrepreneurial ventures and my day job that I’m enjoying. I’ve been doing well academically as I’m about to graduate with a Social Science degree with honors, before finally starting grad school in a couple of months to get my Masters and doctorate. I’ve been doing well mentally and spiritually through my journey of healing and peace that combines therapy, coaching and a conscious self care routine. And, I’ve been doing well in my personal relationships with my loved ones, family and friends. I’m definitely blessed and I praise God for that, as well as my support system that makes all of these accomplishments possible. If 20 year old me could see me right now, she’d vehemently weep tears of joy. What are some highlights of exciting things that you’ve done this past year? I have so many amazing things to be grateful for that’ve happened within the past year that it’s hard to choose between trips, concerts and events! But, if I had to narrow it down to a couple of them, I’d say that attending private premiere screenings for both “Wakanda Forever (2022)” and “Plane (2023)” alongside two of my besties was great. Also, getting the chance to travel to such fun-filled destinations like New Orleans and Las Vegas for the first time in 2022 and enjoy those experiences with loved ones was fantastic. And, lastly I’d say that hosting the annual Fresh Faces Project Awards ceremony and honoring all of our nominees and royal ambassadors free of charge with no sponsorships, ticket sales or entry fees for the 4th year in a row was super fulfilling. You mentioned that you’ve been sharing in all of these special moments with your “loved ones.” Would that include a significant other? Having been so open in the press, on your blog and social media about searching for your life partner, do you have anyone in your life who could possibly be that? I am not currently in a relationship with anyone, while I am openly getting to know people as I meet them online and in person. Since I am looking for a man to settle down with and hopefully be my last relationship, I’m not willing to commit to someone who isn’t on the same page as me about the important things. As you may have seen when I did my case study for my blog, “2 Years on Every Dating App Taught Me This,” I’ve strategically cast my net very far with an almost brazen honesty for what I seek in a husband. And, while I don’t feel my asks are a lot, I think that guy is worth waiting for if that’s what it takes to have my next love be my forever love. Calynn M. Lawrence You certainly have quite a bit to bring to the table in a relationship. A thriving career, a supportive following, a philanthropic persona and a quite literally nationally awarded congeniality. What would you say is the main thing holding you back from finding your “forever love?” Thank you! I think that one thing that counts against me is my very limited time and energy. Because I’m already stretched pretty thin between my more than full time career and full time school, I don’t have the bandwidth to dedicate hours a day to swiping and reaching out on the apps. So, I rely kind of heavily on people coming to me. Since dating apps are a numbers game and the algorithms reward activity, this makes my chances of having my profile seen by new guys much lower than someone who was actively on the apps daily. Granted, I still get quite the traffic to my profiles. At one point, I had over 10,000 people in my Tinder que and over a few thousand in my ques on various others. But, the reality is that none of that matters unless the man has what I’m looking for and I mutually fit what he’s seeking. I’m not a perfect ten, paper thin, Hollywood illusion and never aspire to be, but I know I’m a good woman who’s real, passionate and loyal. The right man will see that one day. I’d rather just be single and wait for that right guy than to mindlessly “date, hump and dump” any cute guy who pops up in my feed. I’m searching for my future husband to start or expand a family. I’m not entertaining anything or anyone else, and that’s a promise I made to myself that I’ll never break. That’s great to hear. Keep up the great work being an exemplar that smart, pretty, successful women can be single intentionally and not need the validation of a relationship to feel accomplished or complete. When you do find Mr. Right, we'll be ready to share yours and the lucky fellow’s story with our audience! What are some things you have coming up that you’d like to promote to our readers? Thank you so much! That means a lot to me to be recognized as such, and I’ll certainly be shouting it from the rooftops once this left hand has a ring on it by the right man. As far as upcoming projects, you guys can stay tuned to my social media for updates on a few things I’ll be doing this year. A couple of examples would be the scholarship giveaway that The Fresh Faces Project will be doing soon in honor of my graduation, nominations will be opening in a few months for the next Fresh Faces Project Awards ceremony, my firm (Calynn Communications & Creative) will be offering a KILLER sale of press and media coverage this summer and I’ll be blogging some really interesting content this year that I think a lot of people would love including various international events and my POSSIBLE return to television screens near you. Just search “Calynn M. Lawrence” on Facebook, Instagram, Linkedin, and Google and you’ll find me. It’s been a true pleasure. To keep up with the adventures of this rising Marketing/PR rockstar, follow her blog www.fashionthunderclap.com Read the full article

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jdcuneganbooks · 1 year

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So. Who is J.D. Cunegan?

After 40-plus years, I think I’ve finally figured it out.

Mostly.

I’m a self-published author. I’m a motorsports junkie. I’m a relatively new hockey fan and a lifelong baseball nut. My hockey team won the Stanley Cup in 2018 and my baseball team doesn’t look like it’s winning anything any time soon.

Pre-plague, I went to roughly five NASCAR races a year. Every weekend, there are fast cars on my TV. NASCAR, IndyCar, Formula 1, NHRA, IMSA sports cars. If it goes fast and has four wheels, chances are I have at least a passing interest.

Heh, passing. Get it?

…Get it?

Okay, I’ll stop.

I’ve wanted to be a writer since I was in middle school, when I first discovered the X-Men and then had designs on being the next Jim Lee. The next Todd MacFarlane. But once I got to college, I discovered I was a much better writer than artist. Mostly because majoring in art in college is a surefire way to fall out of love with art.

(Pro tip: if you wanna study art in college, go to an actual art school.)

But I also discovered sports writing. And sportscasting. I spent the latter half of my college days working for the campus newspaper and campus radio station, writing columns and laying out pages and calling basketball and baseball games on the radio (Old Dominion didn’t yet have football when I was there).

So now my day job involves working in college athletics. Writing press releases and handling media inquiries and doing what often feels like entirely too much. I’ve seen my share of NCAA Tournament games and spent more time on buses and planes than I care to admit. But I have a decent ring collection and the pay’s good; it’s helped finance my other writing.

You know, those books I’ve written?

I published my debut novel, Bounty, on June 1, 2015. As of this writing, I have six novels, a short story collection, a non-fiction book, and three anthology contributions to my name. My flagship work is the Jill Andersen series, a comic book-inspired mash-up of the murder mystery and superhero genres, and I’ve also written Notna, which I have trouble categorizing other than to quote a review I got, which said it was like “a cross between Indiana Jones and Buffy the Vampire Slayer.”

I have several other novels in the works (including the next Jill Andersen installment and a brand new series), and if all things go as they should, 2023 should be a pretty big year creatively speaking for me. I can’t promise anything will actually release in 2023 (because I've learned putting dates on things too soon can be problematic), but if I can finish the books I have in-progress, that will go a long way to getting me back on track.

I enjoy (most of) the MCU movies. I’m terrible at watching and keeping up with TV shows (seriously; I didn’t watch Buffy until it was already off the air, and most of my favorite TV shows are no longer running).

I’m an avid reader, because I can’t imagine being a writer and not reading. I firmly believe you need to be one to be the other — so much so, that’s the subject of my non-fiction book (The Art of Reading). I have a handful of authors whose work I love almost without reservation — Chuck Wendig, R.R. Virdi, S.E. Anderson, Sabaa Tahir — and I’m a big supporter of indie and self-published authors.

Because since becoming an author myself nearly seven years ago, the vast majority of the books I’ve loved the most have come from indie and self-published authors.

If you were to visit me, you’d find three things in abundance: books, superhero statues and figures, and race car diecast models (and other racing paraphernalia). That’s probably the greatest summary of who I am and what makes me tic.

Mostly because I can’t just leave chicken wings sitting around. For one thing, they’d go bad if I did that, which would be a terrible waste. Not to mention the bugs they’d likely attract.

I’m the kind of person who stays in during the weekend and enjoys the quiet of solitude (even before COVID became a thing). I’m not a particularly social person, I’ve never been one for the bar scene, and frankly, almost all my friends live elsewhere. I’m as happy on a Friday night in bed with a beer and a book as I am with just about anything else.

I have stories to keep me company, and the older I get (how the hell am I 41?!), the more I find that’s okay.

Unless you have wings. Or you buy one of my books. Then we can talk.

Visit my website: https://jdcuneganbooks.com

Facebook | Twitter | Instagram

#books #bookblr #indie authors #support indie authors #reading #writing #novels #superheroes #mystery #fantasy #non-fiction #self publishing #book blog

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sugajimin · 4 years

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BTS MVs x Aesthetics

Part I: No More Dream (2013)

#bts #networkbangtan #bt21net #no more dream #ot7 #bangtan #myedit #mygifs #btsedot #btsaes #i am planing on doing this series since 2018 #but i was really lazy

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jeonshookith · 3 years

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I wanna share all of the jikook fics I have saved in my phone tabs (1/2)

if you see a reoccurring theme no you don’t

these are all so so good and a majority of them are chaptered or longer one shots since i don’t like reading shorter fics!!

99% of them are completed

these are in no particular order, just as they are opened in my tabs

i did not write any of these fics. i am not claiming ownership.

these are ALL ao3 links

Illuminate -incomplete as of 01/12/2021 but the author updates regularly-ish. (Its 54 chapters so far!)

The Gentle Centaur and The Sea Flower

Waiting on the One (Peace has decided to release this as a book! available on the Kindle App with Kindle Unlimited! u can search the title)

bone appétit

Rubies for A King

the prettiest prize.

heavenly bodies

you put a spell on me

Dazzle Me With Gold

Winter Song

i'm packing a bag of bad ideas (every time i'm thinking of you)

Chasing Broken Dreams

set my love on fire

why don’t you review me?

count your blessings

My Heart’s On Fire For Your Love

the nightbird and the kitten

Paper Planes

Smash or Pass?

Promise I’m Still With You

The One

Flowers in Hades

My Promise

The God of Fertility

Vanilla Baby -chef’s kiss 😘

Rain and Tangerines

Greece and Roses

Tender Peach

Park’s Anatomy

Nanny

Let's Tessellate ♡

In violence I found you -incomplete as on 01/12/2021. The author updated the title issuing hiatus. 2/3 chapters so far.

(Pick me up) - Playing With Fire

Wax, Wane

Strong eyes -update as of 08/27/21 :( i wanted to reread this and realized (i’m devastated) this is not finished. 12/? hasnt been updated since 03/2020

Black Rabbit -incomplete as of 01/12/2021. i’m not sure on this one since the author hasnt updated since 07/03/2020 so.. 31/?

Be My Eyes

Nemesis: Sex

Cutting the Braid -chef’s kiss 😘 i’ve read this like 8 times.

Hotter Than Hell -incomplete as of 01/12/2021. uhm the author hasn’t updated in almost a year but they have been writing this since 2018. its a good read though! 11/?

call it what you want

Favorite Clothes

until the spring comes again, until the flowers bloom again (stay here a little longer)

i have died every day waiting for you (but loved you for a thousand more)

The Dreaming of Escape

Never Judge a Book by its Cover

What Do You See?

A Guardian “Angel”

(my heart beats) for you

Listen Closely

longing: a yearning desire

warm me up (with your lips)

love, the shoreline where you and i meet

Be Not the Slave of Your Own Past

mi casa

to the end of this imagination, i’ll go

unwrap me (and see the present underneath)

Stolen Kisses Under the Sheets

we kiss like lovers (and laugh like best friends)

bndwboy

Chamomile and Honey

知己 (Ego)

Baptise in your Thighs (‘Till It Hurts)

at the edge of your touch

How Do You Say ‘Fuck Me’ In Swedish?

he smells like wolf, Jimin

You Don’t Need Your Airplane Mode

Cherry on the Cake

Hard to Get

false impressions

the seaweed is always greener

Dissonance -this is part of a WHOLE ASS series. these authors are amazing. this is just the jikook fic that belongs to the series.

Adoptions

The Dreaming of Escape

sun and moon

Blank Space -unfinished as of 01/12/2021. 3/4 chapter so far.

You’re Safe Now

love is a wild thing

3 nights

a bite that burns

Almond Dream

sweetener

Matcha Frappe, No Whip

stay a little longer

The Golden Flower

You had me feel the world

Your Song

jimin, I love you

Tangled Up In You

fuck the feral out of you

touch me more

from yesterday, for tomorrow

i wanna feel you in my bones

Talk Nerdy To Me

lets fall in love for the night (and forget in the morning)

Lemon Tree

Fold It Up Like Oragami

Peach in the Garden

laughs and kisses

I hit the 100 link per post limit 🙃 So I’ll do another one I guess? Part 2 posted here!

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toughguywithbossygirlfriend · 4 years

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Dark Nights :Death Metal #1

After DC Comics Amazing event “Dark Nights : Metal” centered on Batman, we get a sequel called “Dark Nights : Death Metal” centered on Wonder Woman (with even more Batmen everywhere...).

Written by Scott Snyder and Penciled by Capullo the new event looks even more nuts then the first one and I have to say .. I love it ... one of the first pages presents what is left of the DCU after the fight against the evil all powerful Perpetua and the Dark Universe’s “Batman Who Laughs” ... Obviously our Heroes lost the fight and survive as best they can in what’s left of the DC Multiverse

(Edited from DC Comics “Dark Nights: Death Metal” Issue 1)

What’s left of their Universe’s Earth is a world looking like a Bat, with a head, a body, and two wings. Is it even useful to add that the main Lands are related to :

-The “Head” of the Bat... the Brain ... Batman (at least the one who laughs)

-The “Body” of the Bat... Themiscyra ... Wonder Woman..

For the first time for as long as I remember a Crisis level Event seems centered around Wonder Woman, and of course Batman. Usually it would have been about Superman and Batman or eventually about the Trinity... but since the start of Rebirth I have the feeling the wheels are turning for Diana, slowly but surely she climbs up to and mabe one day will take over Superman’s position ... and unlike Clark Kent she has the potential and the history to be paired up with the real undisputed King of DC Comics : Batman.

(Edited from DC Comics “Dark Nights: Death Metal” Issue 1)

While the “Batman who laughs” is the King of this World ... Diana exchanged her tiara for a crown and is the “Queen of the Underworld” ... giving us a little taste of the DCAU where her “father” wasn’t Zeus but Hades (Lord of the Underworld) ... She rules over Themyscira and Guards the gate to Tartarus ... Obviously she agreed to that role because the Batman Who Laughs uses others lives as leverage (including her Amazon sisters).. In this first Issue She is summoned by her Evil Master to his Castle-Bat ... One thing is very clear she doesn’t consider any of those numerous “Dark Universes Batmen” as “Batman” ... there is only one she calls “Batman”, her Bruce ... the others are just “monsters”, “demons”,...

(Edited from DC Comics “Dark Nights: Death Metal” Issue 1)

Once she arrived at Castle Bat and faces the Batman Who Laughs and his countless Batmen variants (some are really weird but its really a lot of fun)... in the middle of the meeting, she suddenly gets a telepathic message !?!.. from the one and only Batman, her Batman. Of course she is stunned there is no J’onn J’ozz to establish such a Link ... it reminded me of Diana’s statement in DC Comics “Superman : Heroes #1″ when she told Bruce that he can do everything Superman does, some even better then him...

Obviously he can copy the Martian Manhunter as well.

Once the shock is over, Diana’s first reaction is to worry for his safety ... “Just PLEASE tell me you’re far from here.”. Yes ! Diana can panic ! we’ll get proof of that later ;)...The answer he gives her is of course meant to reassure her : “Across the Universe”... Little test, who believes that ? ... Yeah, figured as much XD... Then we learn that he knows that she started to melt down her Invisible jet but he couldn’t detect its magic moving !?!! ... copying Zatanna or Constantine here ? ...

Who needs a Justice League if you have a Batman ! XD... Diana, my Dear, catch that guy then you can start a full Justice League with just the two of you ;)

Batman and Magic ?? This may seem surprising but in reality it has already been addressed in Liam Sharp’s “The Brave and the Bold : Batman and Wonder Woman” Issue #2. In it you can see Bruce suggesting Alfred they should build something able to detect magic... (second picture below - we’ll talk about the first later)

(Edit from “The Brave and the Bold : Batman and Wonder Woman” Issue #2)

Lets not forget Batman was the one who searched, hired and befriended Madame Xanadu (the Sorceress Nimue from the Arthurian mythology) recently in “Justice League” and already knows a bunch of Magic users that he can gather knowledge from. He knows, if Wondy is involved, most of the time it is about magic and if he cares for her (quite obvious in Justice League Dark(2018) #12)... he’s got to get a better knowledge of Magic.. plus If you wanted to make a longer series of comics based on Wonder Woman and Batman (a sibling to Batman-Superman) you would need the Dark Knight to understand better what he would have to face ... Maybe that’s what DC wants to do in the near future... Superman’s power are useless against Magic, but Intelligence is always accurate no matter if its about Science, Magic or anything else. And Batman’s main power is his genius level IQ...

But lets return to our comic.

(Edited from DC Comics “Dark Nights: Death Metal” Issue 1)

After mentioning it in “Dark Nights : Metal #5″, the “Batman Who Laughs” can’t help but to tell Diana again that there are Worlds where the “Dianas and the Bruces” are Lovers and Parents, ... Just in case she forgot ...XD ... (considering what Scott Snyder said about the sales of this comics, as well as his previous Event, we may assume that most of the comic readers are now used to the fact that those too can be a committed pair).

The “Batman who laughs” knows Diana really well and understood that she was hiding something from him. No doubt he hunts his alter-ego with the greatest attention ... he knows how dangerous he can be. So he threatens Diana to kill whats left of he parliament of Trees, leaving her with no choice... and threatening Diana is something the real “Batman” obviously can’t allow ... Bruce shoots a non-lethal crossbow bolt on the BMWL, revealing himself, to distract the BMWL from Diana ... it worked.

(Edited from DC Comics “Dark Nights: Death Metal” Issue 1)

"BRUCE... NO.” ... Like I said Diana can panic if it is about Him ... XD

I Wonder if the BMWL threatened Diana on purpose knowing very well this would be enough for his Alter-ego to reveal himself if he was near enough. The “Batman who laughs” explored enough worlds to know how much those two care for each other... Lovers ... Parents ... you get the drift...

(Edited from DC Comics “Dark Nights: Death Metal” Issue 1)

While Diana was a rather obedient servant to her “Master” because she knew her sisters lives as well as her friends lives where at stakes, she gives up every care and opposes the evil Batmen to give Bruce the opportunity to flee. Much like in the “Blackest Night : WW”, Diana puts Bruce over everything else, Bruce’s safety trumps the safety of every one that the BMWL keeps as leverage against her ... she has to know there’s gonna be a cost.

But Bruce/Batman doesn’t flee, ... not immediately ... because if he did she would be punished for her action ... instead he stays, awaiting the Horde of Evil Batmen to kill him... something that distracts the “Batman Who Laughs” from Diana enough to forget or excuse what she did. But Bruce is always prepared, and this isn’t different ... God knows how but he found a Black Lantern Ring and uses it to raise a little army of undead warriors in the mood to rip some evil Batmen into pieces.

(Edited from DC Comics “Dark Nights: Death Metal” Issue 1)

While Diana has been easily “frozen” by the Bat-Mage, and once the Fight between Bruce’s undead soldiers and the evils Batmen is started, Batman knows his Enemy is distracted enough to forget about Diana’s rebellion., .. plus the BMWL would keep her alive just because she is the best way to lure Batman out of his hiding as just proven ... She will be safe, so he leaves.

This Event is fantastic and I can’t wait to see how it unfolds.

I guess Scott Snyder loves the Idea of Bruce as some sort of “God of Death” even if he is mortal. see my previous post :

https://toughguywithbossygirlfriend.tumblr.com/post/190316770026/diana-goddess-of-war-bruce-god-of

A mortal “God of Death” ? It is a concept already explored by Fritz Lieber in his Collection “Sword and Sorcery” about the Heroes “Fafhrd and the Grey Mouser”. Basically if the “God of Death” gets killed (a hard feat) he re-incarnates a little later in another body because without a “God of death” nothing dies.

(Edited from DC Comics Wonder Woman (1942) Issue 202 back in 1972)

Who would have thought that Diana (with Selina) already had an encounter with the Heroes of that World ... so the concept of the “God of Death” being a “mortal” shouldn't be new to her ... ;) ...

In "Death Metal”, Diana is the leading Character and she obviously has not the same goal as Bruce: Diana wants to kill the BMWL and restore a Rich and Infinite Multiverse while Bruce wants to play it small, very small.

(Edited from DC Comics “Dark Nights: Death Metal” Issue 1)

Bruce’s behavior seems a bit OOC but we will surely get some explanations later in the event as to why. Diana seems to take over the “Dreamy Positiveness” of Superman while Batman holds his “Pragmatic Strategic” line of thinking.

Of course Diana is fiercely independent, and even if she highly values Bruce’s POV she follows her own ... I guess the “Batman Who Laughs” knew her better than she thought, because he first repeated her Bruce’s plan ...

(Edited from DC Comics “Dark Nights: Death Metal” Issue 1)

Then teases her about her own ... and I am sure everyone reading the comic was ecstatic the moment Diana ripped the BMWL into pieces with her Chainsaw of truth ...

A move, we will learn later, that her own Bruce tried to avoid with reason ... a move the BMWL planed and expected, if not provoked, because it enabled him to ... upgrade to something infinitely more Powerful... Bruce was right ... again...

Even if Diana leads she will still need Bruce if she wants to win because it is true, ... it seems she can’t out plan the BMWL... only her Batman could do that ...

(Edited from DC Comics “Dark Nights: Death Metal” Issue 1)

I think these re-incarnation in new Bodies is a way for DC Comics to make Bruce Wayne Immortal while keeping him a weak and mortal human (or not as for the BMWL). This has been explored for quite some time : starting with the “Dyonesium” and the “Final Invention”, Batman Last Knight on Earth, and now the BMWL’s death and return as ... “Final Bruce Wayne” ;)

With this there would be no need to reboot the universes to keep Bruce “Batman” Wayne young ... “every generation will have its Batman” ... If Bruce gets Killed ... you just re-incarnate him in a new younger Body ...

(Edited from DC Comics “Batman : Last Knight on Earth” Issue 1)

Diana is already immortal, Bruce would be as well but “re-incarnation” based, and if needed you just give Superman one more power to his already very long list (lets say “Solar re-rejuvenation” or something) ... For Bruce and Diana this would provide more reason to pair them up ... Without the need for more reboots their usual partners (Steve Trevor, Selina Kyle, ...) will now grow older and pass away... Public persona “Bruce Wayne” being with the Amazon could help cover up his weird immortality as gifts from her Gods... All the kids could grow older and new kids could be added more and more without loosing the 3 Big players.

But that’s speculation and we will have to wait and see what DC Comics is going to do and there are still open questions, but I would enjoy something like that.

(Edited from DC Comics “Dark Nights: Death Metal” Issue 1)

The complementarity of both Heroes is expressed here again : Bruce is the “shield” while Diana is the “Sword”... so basically Bruce is the “defensive” while Diana is the “offensive” ... over writers use the reverse : “Wonder Woman was made to protect the innocent while Batman was made to punish the guilty” .. Wonder Woman is the “defensive” and Batman the “offensive” ... Depending on who writes them they will be one or the other but they are just naturally always the Yin and the Yang to each other.

#wonderbat #wonder woman #diana prince #batman #bruce wayne

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tessmontyart · 3 years

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2020 year in review

It’s funny, last year I never actually got around to doing one of these. I didn’t think it was overly interesting. Oh 2019, how I miss you so 😭Such an innocent time ....

I’ll do a quick recap, cause hey no-one but me reads these anyway. 2019 was a glorious time. I went to Italy for the first time, went on an awesome Hunter Valley trip with my friends, had a 100th birthday celebration for my pop, I got to see the show I worked on air on TV, we saw the Lano and Woodley apartment in Melbourne .... Good times!

I didn’t give a rats about being unemployed and took matters into my own hands by making loads of new merch and selling at the most conventions I’ve ever been to. I tabled at Sydney Supanova, Adelaide Avcon, Sydney SMASH, Coffs Nexus Con, Sydney Oz Comic Con and Brisbane Supanova! I did so much travelling and events, it became my full time job. It was exhausting, but it was loads of fun, it paid the bills nicely, and it was wonderful to meet followers and mutuals in person.

My partner was very invested in counting up the numbers of what was selling and what wasn’t, and taking note of what was inconvenient with my setup and how to make it better. He even made a powerpoint presentation on what I could focus on for 2020, what kind of merch I could focus on and adding more conventions to my list. We were both excited about the idea of trying out Armageddon in New Zealand, which would have been my first overseas convention!

Cue 2020.

It started off uneasy. There were still bushfires everywhere and smoke hanging around, but I was optimistic they would die soon and the rest of the year would be fine. I booked a bunch of conventions early as usual. Got a whole bunch of new things made and ordered for the first convention of the year, Melbourne Supanova in early April. Some Acrylic charms didn’t make it in time because of COVID, but I thought that’s ok I still have a whole years worth of conventions to sell them at!

COVID-19 was just a spooky mysterious thing that was happening overseas at that point. I think there might have been 1 case in Australia, so all the toilet paper and hand sanitizer was sold out, but we were still able to do our usual travelling for the event. Little did I know, Melbourne Supanova was the first and last event I could do in 2020.

COVID hit Australia hard, Melbourne especially. There were lockdowns, quarantines, planes were grounded, airmail was halted, the cases kept multiplying, rules kept changing and changing and it was all so new and such a headache. Seeing every single convention I had booked cancel one after the other was hard to process. This was my main source of income in 2019 and now it’s up and vanished. Everyone were losing their jobs too, so the idea of getting a new job was completely out the window.

I tried to cheer myself up by drawing ‘Toilet Paper Chan’, my new magical girl character who has the ability to summon toilet paper in a time of need 😅

I made it into a Draw This In Your Style challenge, seeing as everyone was bored out of their minds in quarantine I hoped it was something people could pass the time and have fun making.

(here’s a handful of my favourites) I had a few entries which were all very adorable, but I admit not as many people joined as I expected. I don’t blame them though, this whole pandemic was very soul sucking and demotivating, especially hearing the constant stream of bad news when it all started.

I also made some lineart of a cute Easter girl, encouraging people to colour her in if they are bored in quarantine.

That was really fun, and I planned to do more, perhaps whole colouring books for a small price to download.

Then, out of nowhere, my friend from the last animation studio I worked at in 2018 contacted me. “Hey Tess, are you looking for work?”

“Um .... yes?”

Work? In 2020? What?

It turns out the animation industry is one of the only industries that are doing fine in the pandemic. Literally the only change is that animators have to work from home instead of at a studio. If you have the animation software and an internet connection you have everything you need.

So my good friend had recently scored this job for a studio which outsources all their animation for their animated TV series. The role is just fixing up any animation errors inhouse to minimize the amount of back-and-fourth between studios. It doesn’t sound like much but it became too big a job for just one dude to handle, so he contacted me and 2 of my other animation friends to help out. We had a ball!

It was loads of fun, and the contract lasted the whole year!

It wasn’t just fixing up errors either, I got to animate walking/ running / jumping / flying cycles for the overseas animators to use, which was great practice for me, and we even had a whole episode to ourselves to animate from scratch which I really enjoyed.

And then ... the year just flew by, because I was busy working the whole time. It was really quite surreal!

There were a few highlights, such as being a bridesmaid for my best friend’s wedding and organising her hens party, which is one of those once-in-a-lifetime things.

(Hens Party - it was yellow themed (her favourite colour) and High Tea.. it was adorable!)

(The bridesmaids and the bride on the Wedding Day)

Unfortunately there were some lowlights too ... This was the last year I got to see my aunt.

She was the craziest, funniest aunt, and still far too young to go. I honestly don’t think I’ll ever be the same without her.

As always, drawing is the only way I cope with anything. My family chose a plain wooden casket, encouraging everybody to write a message or draw something on it, before it would be sent to the crematorium. I drew Spotty, her awesome horse I remember from my childhood, surrounded by her favourite flowers. Monty draw Mingus, her awesome ferret we also remember from our childhood.

That wasn’t the only bad news either. Pat’s Grandpa passed away later in the year, and a handful of my friends had relatives who either passed away or were diagnosed with cancer or some other horrible life threatening disease. A musician who collaborated with favourite artist collaborated passed as well, and even though I didn’t know him personally, it was still horribly devastating. Not to mention all my friends/relatives pets who didn’t make it through 2020. There was just so much loss this year, and I’m still grieving my cousin and my friend’s mum who both passed last year, it’s getting harder and harder to cope. It’s gotten to the point where I’m paranoid about who the next person will be because I haven’t finished grieving the last ...

All I can say is I hope 2021 is a little kinder when it comes to my loved ones. The small light at the end of the tunnel is; any suicidal thoughts I used to have frequently have all completely vanished, because I’ve been faced with the reality of it all. You really don’t realise how many people love you, people you don’t even know.

...

That was very dark, but it’s definitely something I needed to get off my chest.

Lets go back to a much lighter note.

More highlights:

🌻Animal Crossing New Horizons came out this year! I used to play Wild World back in the day so it was wonderfully nostalgic, and me and Pat have made the cutest little town with all our favourite villagers. It’s a nice way to escape from it all ^_^

(Monty’s island when we started)

🌻Speaking of games, the brand new Crash Bandicoot came out this year too! It was actually jaw droppingly amazing seeing all the awesome new ideas and mechanics they came up with while still keeping it classicly Crash. I loved it and I’m so excited to see if they give Spyro the same treatment!

🌻2020 brought about new and interesting ways to still enjoy Live entertainment. Lano and Woodley did a Zoom show which was absolutely hilarious, and Lights did an amazing online Dead End show which had me so pumped!

🌻Pat and I continued our anniversary High Tea tradition, this time trying it out at the Hydro Majestic hotel in the Blue Mountains!

🌻Speaking of Pat, his sister got married this year too, despite the pandemic. Congratulations!

🌻Pat randomly bought a Miku figure for himself, out of the blue, completely unravelling years of unnecessary ‘shame’ I’ve inherited caused by a pushy mother and a crappy ex. I used to love figure collecting but was convinced by certain judgy people that it was stupid and I needed to sell them all. I kept my very favourites in a cupboard ‘just incase they increase in value’. But now I can finally display them all again knowing Pat loves them just as much as I do!

We also added a ton more to the collection to make up for lost time (and because there’s SO MANY CUTE MIKUS NOWADAYS)

It’s a bit messy because we recently got new ones and need to make more space for them. The shelf with the Vocaloid nendoroids were my original ones hidden away in the cupboard, the rest we got this year ^_^ They make me so happy!

🌻Speaking of Pat unlocking things I’ve always wanted to do in the past: I am now planning to revive my old OCs Yui and Lotto! They were just characters of mine back in the day, but since I’m not good writing I never really came up with a story for them. But with Pat’s writer wisdom and my kawaii art style, I’m now planning a webcomic featuring the two cuties ^_^ It’s still in the very early planning stages but I’m super excited, and forever grateful for Pat, for believing in me ;w;

🌻This year I drew 31 more Owl City songs in copic markers, to go towards my ongoing project to draw every song! I’m actually getting quite close to my goal now which is exciting!

🌻This year I went to a Drive-In movie theatre for the first time to see the new Bill and Tedd movie, it was glorious and now I wanted to try more drive-ins. Going out to see a movie on a big screen *without* being able to hear smart-asses or screaming babies? Yes please!!

🌻How could I forget, this was the year my idol noticed me!! Lights shared and retweeted my Deadend fanart! Life = made.

What to to look forward to in 2021:

This is the first New Year where I actually have an idea of how 2021 will go! I managed to secure another animation job at a new studio starting January, ending January 2022 😊So thats the financial security for this year sorted! :P

As for general goals for 2021;

I’m hoping to have a decent plan, concept art, chapter ideas and hopefully even a script done for my new webcomic! I also wanted to make some cute simple animations of the characters just because c:

I’d also like to just do more of my own animation in general ... I animate every day for work but I never get to do my own animated projects. It will be hard with a full time job, so maybe this can be a 2022 goal ... but hopefully I can do at least one little animation of my own!

I suppose another goal is to make a social media accounts for my animation, too. Even if I don’t fulfil my goal, I still would like a page to showcase everything I’ve done so far.

And if all else fails .... Another goal is to draw more Miku. It’s crazy that I love her this much and haven’t drawn any fanart!

I think I’ll leave it there because I’m babbling now. 😅

I’ve done so many of these now o_o

[2018] [2017] [2016] [2015] [2014] [2013] [2012]

#2020 #year review #cw: death #cw: pet death #cw: suicide

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holidaywishes · 4 years

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It Had To Be You XXXVIII

Chapter Thirty Eight: Sad Song

Summary: Fast forward six months and the new Preseason is just about to start. After a rough playoff loss, Tyler wants this season to be better and he has some ideas on how to make everything go smoothly.

Warning: I guess because this song is so cheesy and sweet, there’s going to be a lot of fluff in this chapter, this one’s also got a few time jumps as well.

Author’s Note: I don’t really know where I’m going with this series anymore. I think I’m trying to stretch it out to 50 chapters but it all depends on how I’m feeling obviously. Just know that I have a thing with odd numbers. That is to say, I will only end on an even number or a multiple of 5 (45, 50, 55, etc.) But this one will be another short chapter (and I’ll admit this is really not my favourite) but I’ll probably put two out back to back since I have something in my head and I’m literally not doing anything else, so why not? Anyway, I hope you like whatever comes from the rest of this series, ENJOY!

P.S. This chapter took a little longer than I thought it would but I have some clearer ideas of what the next like four-ish chapters are going to be so that’s exciting.

P.P.S. I wanted to update the timeline because this chapter has a lot of time jumps as did the last chapter. So here’s a quick recap of the whole series:

Part I: September 2013

Part II: November 2013

Part III: January 2015

Parts IV and V: May-June 2015

Part VI: June 2015/January 2016

Part VII: January 2016/June 2016/November 2016

Part VIII: November 2016

Part IX: December 2016

Part X: January 2017

Part XI: February-August 2017

Part XII: September-November 2017

Part XIII: mid-November-December 2017

Part XIV: January-February 2018

Part XV: March-April 2018

Part XVI: April-June 2018

Part XVII: July 2018

Part XVIII: July-November 2018

Parts XIX, XX and XXI: December 2018

Parts XXII: December-January 2019

Part XXIII, XXIV, XXV and XXVI: January 2019

Part XXVII: late January-March 2019

Parts XXVIII and XXIX: March 2019

Part XXX: late-March/April-May 2019

Part XXXI: May-November 2019

Part XXXII: January 2020

Part XXXIII: late January 2020

Parts XXXIV and XXXV: August 2020

Part XXXVI: October-Early November 2020

Part XXXVII: March 2021

Part XXXVIII (this chapter): July/September 2021/January 2022 (yup I did that)

Song Credit: Sad Song -- We the Kings & Elena Coats

masterlist

the other masterlist

After the whole quarantine last year, and the season being cancelled, Tyler wanted the next to be better but after being knocked out in the first round he wasn’t in the best mood for a few months. He spent every waking minute training during the summer, except for his seemingly annual trip to the Bahama’s with the guys.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come?” he asked when you said you’d stay behind and watch the dogs

“I’ve gotta work,” you replied, pushing yourself up to wrap your arms around his neck and press your lips to his, “plus, I think you need some time with your boys to let loose. As long as you don’t let loose too much...”

“Don’t worry, babe,” he replied, pecking your lips between words, “we’ll really just be playing a lot of golf. You know how it goes..” You sent him off with one last kiss and sent him an ‘I love you’ text before he got on the plane. You felt completely secure with Tyler lately but maybe that had to do with the fact that two of you had survived four months in self-isolation together. Whatever it was, you weren’t nervous about spending a week away from each other.

Tyler’s week away proved to be just what he needed to get his spirits up but as soon as he was back in Dallas, the two of you decided to head up to Brampton to see his family but it was over just as quickly as it began and it was time for the preseason to start. It was a pretty easy start to the season with the Stars winning 7 of their 8 preseason games which left Tyler with a huge grin on his face and he told you he was very positive for the rest of the city.

“I have a good feeling about this season, you know?” he said, rinsing the dishes as you washed down the counter, “I feel like this could be our year.”

“I think you guys are looking good out there but--” Tyler put his finger in front of your mouth to stop you from continuing

“Don’t jinx it. We’re looking good and we’ll continue to look good because we’re in this for the long run.” He said, raising his eyebrows intensely so you got his point and you just smiled before nodding and walking away. You were happy he was so confident about the season especially after everything that happened and seeing him so excited made you excited for the season.

“Hey, Ty,” you called from the couch, “you’re turning 30 in January. How do you want to celebrate?”

“That’s a while from now, I haven’t thought about it..”

“Well think about it!” you laughed, “I know the season will be like in ‘full swing’ or whatever, but maybe we can do something during Bye Week? It’s a big year you know?”

“Yeah, another year older..” he sighed and slumped next to you on the couch, “I’m getting to be an oldie. I’ll be vintage soon...”

“Oh stop,” you nudged, “vintage? I have a hard time thinking you’ll ever be vintage. It’s just a birthday. If you don’t want to celebrate it, we don’t have to. But I’ll have you know, men get sexier as they age.” you said, moving towards him to kiss his neck, “It’s actually very annoying.” He kissed you back

“I’ll think about it,” he smiled and you tucked yourself into his side, “but for right now, let’s figure out something to watch.” As the two of you settled in and started some action movie you were sure you wouldn’t pay attention to, you caught yourself looking up at Tyler for the billionth time, “what?” he laughed

“What?” you responded

“I can feel you staring at me,” he continued, still not returning your gaze, “do I have something on my face?”

“No,” you smiled, “I just like looking at you.” When he finally looked at you, your stomach filled with butterflies and you felt the need to bury your head in his chest; looking back up at him just in time to see his smile stretch across his face.

“I like looking at you too.” He said, leaning his head down to capture your lips in a soft kiss. You reveled in it for a minute before finally saying anything

“I’ll never get tired of that” you giggled and he smiled against your lips before continuing to kiss you.

Tyler’s P.O.V

You hated that you couldn’t be with (Y/N) and the dogs on your birthday again this year, especially because things seemed to be going so well, so you figured out a way for her to be with you in

“Boston?” she said, a hint of confusion in her voice over the phone

“That’s where we’ll be on my birthday,” you replied, “there are some great spots though.”

“I went once,” she said, nonchalantly, “it was beautiful. But I mean.. Bruins fans run rampant” she laughed and you knew then that she would meet you there.

“So you’ll be there?” you asked

“If I get to see you, I’ll be wherever you ask.” You could hear her smile over the phone and your smile grew in return

“Good,” you laughed, “I’ll see you in a couple days. Love you”

“Love you, too.” You ended the call only to turn around to your teammates waiting to chirp you

“Ooooh, Tyler and (Y/N) sittin’ in a tree,” they started, “k-i-s-s-i-n-g, first comes love, then comes marr--”

“Alright, alright. That’s enough guys.” They laughed and you smiled as you found your way back to your seat beside Rads and Jamie.

“She’s coming to spend your birthday with you? That’s sweet” Jamie said

“Well...” you hesitated, “I’m thinking of proposing to her!”

“On your birthday?” Jamie asked and Rads gave you a sideways glance

“Yeah...” you answered, “I mean we’ll already be out to dinner and I love her, so..”

“You think you’re ready?” Rads asked and you took a second to answer

“Yeah”

“What if she says no? Then your birthday is like forever tainted by that” Jamie challenged

“It’s still my birthday, it won’t be tainted. Forever.”

“She’s a great girl and you seem really happy with her,” Rads interrupted, “I like her and I like her for you. But just make sure, if you feel weird about it, don’t do it.” You took a second to think about what he was saying but you couldn’t stop thinking about how she’d be in that moment and what the rest of your life would look like with her.

“Thanks Rads,” you finally said, “it’s alright though. I want her in my lie forever. I can’t imagine a day without her there.”

You showed up at the Boston airport and waited for instructions from Tyler when he sent you a text with directions to his hotel

“Am I suppose to get my own room or find my way to yours?” you replied as you got into the cab and told the driver the address

“Don’t worry, I got you a room but it’s close to mine” he said

“Sounds good, it’s under my name?”

“Yes. I’m heading to practice, so I won’t be there when you check in but I’ll call you when I’m out. I made reservations at 6 so you’ll have to be ready”

“What kind of place is it? What if I didn’t pack anything fancy?”

“I have something for you. I’m always prepared”

“Well you’re lucky. I figured you might do something like this so I brought a dress”

“Thinking ahead, I like it” he joked and you rolled your eyes

“I have to or you’ll get me something wayyyy too revealing”

“The amount of revealing it would be is debatable.” You let him go after that by sending him an eye roll GIF and he sent back a laughing emoji. A couple hours later, you started getting ready for whatever Tyler had planned, deciding whether you should curl or straighten your hair when he called you

“Hey babe,” he said happily, “you almost ready? I’m just about to jump in the shower so I wanted to check in”

“I’m almost ready. I’ll be ready by the time you’re out of the shower so I could meet you in yo-”

“NO” he blurted out, “I want to pick you up.”

“Fine,” you laughed, “I’ll be ready soon. Go take your shower, I love you.”

Tyler’s P.O.V.

You finished getting ready, making sure to do a quick pep talk to yourself in the mirror.

“You got this dude. You love her, she loves you.” You smiled and made sure you had everything you needed, careful not to forget the ring, and headed over to (Y/N)’s room.

“Just a second!” she called after you knocked on her door, fidgeting with your suit jacket while you waited. When she opened the door, your mouth dropped at the sight of her in a beautiful blue dress and she smiled before spinning around for you to get a complete look at the outfit, “what do you think?”

“You look.. stunning,” you smiled, “guess it’s a good thing I didn’t pack anything for you isn’t it?” She smiled to herself, shaking her head as she grabbed her purse. The two of you laughed and she took your hand as the two of you headed to the car.

“What do you have planned?” she asked as she put on some music

“A nice dinner, I’ll take you to some of my favourite places in the city,” you said, intertwining your fingers with hers to kiss the back of her head, “nothing too crazy.” She smiled at you and tried, the whole way to the restaurant, to guess where you were taking her or what you were planning. You pulled up in front of the restaurant and a valet opened her door

“Oooh,” you smiled as you heard her speak to the valet, “isn’t this fancy?” You met her on the sidewalk, thanking the valet and tipping him before taking (Y/N)’s hand to go inside. When she sat down, she browsed the menu and you tried not to give away how nervous you were about what you had planned for later in the night.

“Anything look good?” you asked about the menu

“Still looking..” she smiled. You ordered her favourite drink when the server came by to grab your orders, “ahh I get it” she said as the server left

“What?” you said suddenly

“You’re trying to be ‘the big man’ tonight. Coming to a fancy restaurant with valets, ordering my favourite drink,” she smiled and you let out a sigh, “who you trynna impress, Seguin?”

“Only you,” you answered, “always you.” The rest of the meal was filled with smiles from both of you; you watched as her eyes lit up when she talked about her job, her smile shine when you talked about how you felt about the team and the way the season was going and listened to her laugh that you couldn’t imagine not hearing everyday. You kept Rads’ words in the back of your head though, ‘just make sure, if you feel weird about it, don’t do it.’

“Would you like a dessert menu?” the server asked when he noticed there was a break in the conversation. You were prepared for her to say no, or to defer to you, but instead she said yes and that was the moment you knew she was comfortable with you. It was a small moment, a small thing, but it made everything so much clearer. You paid the bill and thanked the staff, guiding (Y/N) out to the car by placing your hand on the small of her back. You took her to the aquarium and watched her eyes follow the fish and tried to catch her as she chased the manta rays before eventually stopping in front of the shark tank.

“We may be slightly overdressed for this place” you laughed, noticing the stares the two of you were getting

“Do you ever wonder what they’re thinking?” she said, completely ignoring your statement

“What?” you asked

“Like are they sad? Do they know where they are? Do they wonder where their friends are? Or their families? Do they like it here? Are they happy?” You smiled at her thought process, “did you know that Sharks adapt to fit their environment? So like if there was a Great White Shark here, it would only grow to fit comfortably in the tank but in the ocean it would grow much bigger. That’s why you hear of like 30ft sharks.” She finished, eyebrows raised when she looked at you and you smiled while your eyes danced between hers.

“Is any of that actually true?” you asked and she smiled at you

“I don’t know,” she confessed, “it could be. It sounds like it should be, doesn’t it?” She grabbed your hand, intertwining her fingers with yours and continued walking, “and,” she added, “who cares if we’re overdressed.” She winked at you, as if to say ‘I’m always paying attention,’ and you shared the smile that she gave you. There was one last place you wanted to go before it got dark and it was the perfect spot for the proposal. A park with a beautiful river running through and a clear view of the Boston skyline. Sure, it was public but it wasn’t overly crowded so it had just enough of people for (Y/N) to have at least one picture of the proposal without feeling overwhelmed.

“Wow, Ty,” she said lightly, “this place is beautiful. Thank you for bringing me here.” She smiled at you and, with her hair blowing in the wind and the sun beginning to set, you knew it was the perfect time.

“(Y/N),” Tyler said when your back was turned, “I need to get this out so don’t say anything until I’m finished okay?” You giggled at his statement but slowly turned around to face him, surprised when you saw him on one knee

“Ty, what are you doing?” you said

“I love you,” he started and your eyes grew wide, “ When we first met, I was so focused on being the best for Dallas, to start fresh after Boston, that you were just some girl. I didn’t think of you really that way, until I saw you with James; I just wanted to see you happy because you deserved that, I just hated that it had to be with him. But now here we are, having chosen each other after all the crap we’ve been through. Together and apart. I know we’ve had some rough times but you’ve always been the person I want to be with. The one I want to wake up next to. Every time we’re apart, whether I’m on the road or your visiting Chris in Calgary, I feel like I’m missing something because I am. You. You’re my favourite part of me and I can’t imagine a day without you. (Y/N) (Y/M/N) (Y/L/N), will you marry me?” You stood in front of Tyler for a few minutes, in a state of shock that left you silent when you noticed a few people start to huddle around you and Tyler, who hadn’t moved at all

“Yes” you whispered, a smile starting to grow on your face

“What?” he said jokingly, a smile dancing on his lips

“Of course I’ll marry you!” you exclaimed and he slid the ring on your finger before picking you up and kissing you, you breaking the kiss only to laugh at the round of applause the two of you got. He put you down and waved to the crowd as you buried yourself in his chest out of embarrassment.

“I love you”

“I love you too,” you said, tucking yourself into his side while the two of you continued to walk through the park, “I can’t believe you actually proposed.”

“Why?” he asked, in fake shock

“I don’t know.. I guess I just never thought you were the marrying kind” you admitted

“I wasn’t,” he said, kissing the top of your head, “until you.”

“Well, happy birthday Mr. Seguin” you joked

“Thank you,” he replied, “and thank you for saying ‘yes’ on my birthday. The guys were convinced that if you said no it would’ve tainted the day forever”

“I’m surprised you did it on your birthday. I mean, the guys are right. It’s a risk.” You laughed and he shrugged his shoulders

“It was worth it.”

#Tyler Seguin #It Had To be You #it had to be you series #Tyler Seguin imagine #tyler seguin series #masterlist #the other masterlist #no idea when or how this will end anymore #i had an idea but now i don't #i guess that's how it goes #prepare for some short chapters #after this one obviously

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allmight-amiright · 4 years

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Simp List Tag

I was tagged by the incredible @add-a-teaspoon-of-heroism :)

RULES: List 10 different characters from 10 different fandoms that you like. Pass it on by tagging 10 other people!

Ready or not, here’s my Simp List in no particular order:

1. Kirishima Eijirou (MHA)

That Ghost series really messed up my MHA simp list. He’s just such a precious bean and I would do anything to protect him. Even though he would absolutely end up protecting me because. you know. ROCK. ugh just look at his cute lil smile and i think we need more headband!Kirishima. TL;DR 10/10 would simp again.

2. Makoto Tachibana (Free!)

Awwwww I just adore him so so so much. Look at his lil puppy eyes! And that hair flop? *SOBS* But, I have genuinely loved watching Makoto grow as a character and just a young man in general over the past three seasons. He will absolutely always have a special place in my heart because he never fails to make me smile except for that one time when he went for a swim in the ocean in the middle of a storm and nearly drowned but i don’t wanna think about that

3. Viktor Nikiforov (Yuri On Ice!!!)

I have one word and one word only: GOD. No, but seriously, I adore him so much. He’s genuinely so passionate about everything and his love for skating and Yuri just leaves me crying all season. I love love love his accent and everything about him as a character. He and this show are just absolutely stunning. I find myself rewatching it pretty often. In conclusion, Viktor could cut me with his skates and I would say thank you. Yuri would too, let’s be real.

4.Draco Malfoy (Harry Potter)

Draco Malfoy deserved better. I ADORE him so so much. Is it mainly because I find Tom Felton insanely attractive? Oh yeah. But, also. Draco is such a complex character and I could go on for days and days about why I don’t think he deserves a lot of the hate that he gets. He was 16! 16! And told to murder his headmaster! That’s fucked!

5. Sokka (Avatar the Last Airbender)

I think I love him for the soul purpose that he’s the comedic relief character?? And because he’s used for comedic relief it’s really easy to forget that Sokka is actually really intelligent and just as capable as any of the other characters in the show. His character development is *chef’s kiss* and his protectiveness over everyone in the Gaang is really sweet and worthy of a simp.

6. Link (Legend of Zelda franchise)

I think it’s just because BOTW is my absolute favorite game and because this franchise in general just means a lot to me. But, I love Link. We’ve been on so many adventures together and I’ve thrown him off of many cliffs out of sheer frustration sorry bb

7. Asra Alnazar (The Arcana)

I remember seeing him in an ad for the game and was like “Yeah. I’m sold.” I loved his route so so much. The writers ( @thearcanagame here on tumblr) did an amazing job at portraying his emotions and had me wanting to do everything in my power to get the upright ending just so I wouldn’t have to hurt this fluffy magician.

8. Joker (Black Butler: Book of Circus)

Book of Circus is absolutely my favorite spin off of Black Butler. I loved the story line. If I’m in a Black Butler kick, I always rewatch Book of Circus instead of the actual series?? Is it because I love Joker? Likely. He was just a super interesting character and I really enjoyed watching his development in such a short span of time.

9. Kazuma Hashimoto (Cheer Danshi)

Awww looking at this gif reminds me just how much I miss this anime. It’s really sweet and wholesome. If you’re looking for a new sports anime, I 10/10 recommend Cheer Danshi. This show honestly throws any gender roles out the window by centering around an all male cheer leading team and Kazu is always so positive and you can tell that he really loves cheer leading and bringing the positive energy to the squad. Yeah. I simped hard for Kazuma.

10. Bokuto Kotarou (Haikyuu!!) Best for last oya oya

I had to find a gif that included all three of these guys because I am a complete WEENIE for all of them. My Wattpad readers know just how conflicted I’ve been trying to figure out which of them tops my simp list. I love them all for very different reasons, but since I called out Bokuto, let’s talk about my sweet sweet owl baby. He’s a weenie and a simp and no one can tell me otherwise. He would love you with every fiber in his being and god damnit i love him with every fiber in my being too. I’m big sad that we’ve been robbed of beefy bokuto with shoulders so wide you could land a plane on them but the animators gave him some mad cake so I guess we’ve compromised.

This was actually super hard?? I never realized just how few fandoms I was actually in. But searching for gifs of all of my sweet beans was really fun, so it was worth the literal hours of deliberating to compile my simp list.

I’m tagging: @draco-malfoy-simp @foreveralwaysfabulous @thecardsimagine @bakuhoe-is-my-bakubro @band-obsessed-loser-blog @come-on-shitty-boys @madison-2018 @tanakasrightfoot @viktor-icedaddy-nikiforov27 @togas-knife

If I didn’t tag you and you want to participate, feel free to join and tag me! I’d love to see who you’re simping over. Don’t want to make a full post? Drop your simp list in the comments!

#not mha #author chats #im a simp #haikyuu #black butler #mha #legend of zelda #cheer danshi #arcana #atla #harry potter #yuri on ice #free

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rika-kihira · 4 years

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Rika Kihira - Athlete Conditioning Magazine interview

Rika Kihira Interview from Athlete Conditioning Magazine (taken during the off season, before FS Season 2019-2020 )

Q: In the 1st senior season, you got amazing results. The length of time for a program is longer than in the junior era, there is also the addition of one more technical element inside the program. There was also the change of it being a longer season. What kind of thoughts do you have?

R: In September 2018 I won Ondrej Nepela Trophy in Slovakia, my 1st competition of the season, but since Japan Nationals (2nd place) ended until the end of the season in April 2019 I felt really exhausted. Compared to Jr, Sr period of competition is longer. In such a long period of time, it was the first time I kept competing continuously, so I didn’t understand how I should adjust properly to match with the competition, it was really hard to maintain my condition and my motivation. Before Worlds 2019 in March held at Saitama Super Arena, there was some adjustment in order to get myself used to new boots. After Worlds there was also WTT held in April (Japan got 2nd place), I felt like I had used all the strength that was left in me, I never experienced something like this sensation before. But using this experience, I want to try my best in putting forth my energy until the end of this season.

Q: In the middle of such exhausting feelings, it was a surprise that you managed to update SP score into World record score of 83.97 points while attending WTT. So in order to display good performances continuously, it is essential to adjust the condition. What are the things you are paying attention to regarding your meal and sleep?

R: I am calculating the calories in my meals everyday. Nutritional balance is important. Protein is a must, but I also pay attention to eat fruits and vegetables which consist of many vitamins. And then before morning and noon practice I consume carbohydrates. If I don’t eat properly I won’t be able to exert my energy because of the feeling of an empty stomach, that is what my condition will become. About sleep, I am managing it with a smartphone application. I understand the difference in my physical condition during the times I had enough sleep and the times I didn’t, so I use it as a reference. Everyday, I am keeping notes of what I am doing and I came to understand what kind of condition came (from the activity), so managing my condition has also became fun.

Q: So it is important to know things you experienced with your body, like for example, what kind of condition it will be when you do a certain amount of exercise?

R: Indeed. There are times when I can’t do the personal training my trainer gave to me, so on off days I do body care and muscle training by myself. I am adjusting so my condition will not fluctuate by much. I keep it as a habit to maintain a stable condition as possible.

Q: Not only competition, I think you also go to training camp overseas, are there things you pay attention to in your trip where the body condition easily changes?

R: It is cold inside the airplane and it is easy to catch a cold there, so I prepare mask and blanket. Before, I had to compete in a competition when I caught a cold. I thought, I don’t want to experience the same thing twice so from that time onward I am especially careful of that. Inside the plane the air is also dry so it’s easy to get a sore throat, so I am paying attention to drink water frequently. After that, I do light stretching a few times. My senses on the next day are different depending on whether I do it or not, so I am doing all the things I could do.

Q: In order to compete at the top level of the world, working on elements with high difficulty level at practice is a must, but no matter what it is hard to avoid struggling with injury. In order to compete in the season there’s no possibility of long-term total recuperation, there is also the need to do training and injury treatment at the same time. The schedule in off season is also pretty busy with performing in ice shows and training. It is necessary to care for light injuries so it will not turn into worse injury. At the final stage of the last junior season (2017-2018 season), on January 2018 you suffered a bone fracture on your left ring finger, in your senior debut season, in February 2019, while experiencing dislocation in the same place, as Kihira who even managed to get good results, we wonder what kind of care you are doing daily. Mostly we wanted to ask about (Conditioning) and (Self-Care), but normally what kind of self-care are you doing?

R: In order to compete until the end of season, I definitely must not get a heavy injury. Consulting my own body condition, I am going to practice like usual while thinking about the next thing. I must not get injured on the next day by overdoing it. But just by resting the circumstance will end up resulting as me being unable to put forth my strength in competition. So I think it is important to keep a tight line of balance (between the two). On a regular basis while doing stretching, if there was a little bit of pain, I use a small type of ultrasonic theraphy medical equipment to treat it and then go to practice, I am taking care of it.

Q: This medical theraphy equipment, since when you are using it and on what occasion?

R: At the time I had a bone fracture in my left hand, in January 2018, I came to use ultrasonic medical theraphy equipment in order to make recovery time faster on the bone. I heard other athletes are also using it. Not only bones, it can also make the pain from straining loose muscles go away. Especially for the part around the ankle and above. As the effect of fixing the skate boots, after the jumps, it is easy to feel pain after the landings, but it’s painful when I tried to ease the tension by myself, and there is also the possibility of inflicting unnecessary pain, so I am caring for the parts that I feel are painful by using ultrasound medical equipment. I am also using the other one for my knees. They are small and easy to be carried around so it’s convenient. I am using it daily when I feel pain at practice.

Q: Are there ways to refresh your mentality aspect?

R: When I become tired I feel irritated, in that condition challenging and practicing end up losing their meaning so I find things to turn into positive feelings and face the practice. To switch over my feelings I listen to music many times. Before the performance I listen to the music I use for my programs. When I am doing stretching and warm up, during my movements I am relaxing by listening to songs that are not related to my program.

Last season, Kihira, who competed until the end in the first senior season, was rewarded with the 2018 JOC Newcomer Award, succeeding brilliantly in her senior debut. Starting this autumn she will challenge her 2nd senior year. In October she will compete in a 3-team competition, Japan Open, held at the Saitama Super Arena. In the GP Series she will compete in the 2nd competition, Skate Canada, and the 6th competition, NHK Trophy. Her new SP for this season is Breakfast in Baghdag, a song with a rithmical melody. She went to Shae-lynn Bourne who also managed (Seimei) the free skate program performed by Yuzuru hanyu (ANA) at the Pyeongchang Winter Olympics, where he acquired a gold medal. For the FP she went to Tom Dickson for choreo. Song with mysterious melody (O Virtus Sapientae ). In competition, with hard level of jumps and subtle expressions, she will show an evolving program. Lastly, we asked about her resolution for the future.

Q: In 2019-2020 season, your 2nd senior season, you have stated about challenging quad jumps, but what about conditioning to adjust your presentation?

R: Now there are a lot of ice shows in the weekends where I perform my exhibition program, but Monday to Tuesday I am practicing my new FP program and quad training. Regarding jumps, I am including 3A in ice shows, the percentage of success is improving. I am also adding the quad jump in my training camp in America, and I’m also including it at ice show practices, so I have good confidence. It is still in early condition to include in competitions yet, but overall senses from jumps are better than last season. Both the SP and FP are programs with more difficult presentation than last season, but if I can do the jumps and the presentation properly in practice, I am sure I can improve. In order to get used to new programs, I am doing runthrough with song in practice as much as possible. I came to understand how to match the timing to catch my breath with the song interval, I felt that energy to skate the program thoroughly is improving. That is why, even in the off-season, like now, when I practice for ice shows for 45 minutes practice I put it on four times. And so on, assertively doing runthrough with song while practicing.

Q: Looks like you are doing adjustment very well, I am looking forward to it. Is it what it means by doing preparation from making good use of the experiments from last season?

R: Now I am able to work on various tasks, but if the season is approaching, I must go on while matching my condition with the competition, that is the difficult part. But I think surely I can use my experience from last season, I want to aim to perform the best program in any kind of situation by adjusting. Last season I had good results in early GP Series (winning NHK, IDF, and GPF). This season also, I want to get better points than last year by performing my program properly since the beginning. If I can do that, it will become the motivation to do my best until the end of the season and my confidence. By gaining self-confidence I want to rise to the podium at Worlds Championship in the end.

Q: In the world of ladies figure skating in Japan, Shizuka Arakawa shone brightly in Torino Winter Olympics achieving the gold medal, and various athletes appearing one after another in some numbers. Kihira-senshu, what kind of skater do you aim to be?

R: I want to be a skater who is able to show my best real ability in the biggest competition with a tense atmosphere. Also, not only jumps, but spins, steps and presentation, I want to be a skater who can do all of it.

Q: Lastly, please tell us your goal for the future

R: Winning Beijing 2022 Winter Olympics is a dream I have been thinking on from long time ago. To speak of there are some athletes who (are aiming for the 1st place and managed to rise to the podium), if I set my goal less than achieving the 3rd place medal I might end up with 5th or 6th place, so I have the goal to be the winner at the highest place. However if I end up with injury, only that will turn it into a really difficult goal that cannot be realized. I want to fulfill my own dream.

#rika kihira #season: 2019-2020 #translation #interview #Interviews #translations

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wonderfulworldofmichaelford · 4 years

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Michael in the Mainstream: Green Eggs and Ham

Dr. Seuss has had some foul luck with adaptations over the past two decades, with the movies starring Jim Carrey being moderately enjoyable (though not great) with the rest being either being safe, marketable fluff (the 2018 Grinch) or hilariously awful (The Lorax and The Cat in the Hat). It’s not exactly a lineup that inspires faith in more adaptations, that’s for sure.

But maybe the issue was always that the ones that didn’t work tried to utilize elements that just don’t gel well with the frameworks of the story. Does an environmental story need pop culture references and a romance plot shoehorned in? Does a story about a troublesome cat need tons of gags and dirty jokes? I’m not saying the stories were ultra complex or anything, but I am saying they were solid bases for plots, and animated specials proved they could work without cramming in unneeded elements to the story. This is why I think Horton Hears a Who is probably the best Seuss film - everything it adds is entirely in service to the plot that was already there, and nothing put in alters what the story already told us, it just expands it. Now imagine if they could expand an even simpler story like that!

Enter Green Eggs and Ham. This is a show you wouldn’t think would work; it’s taking a book renowned for being simple and using as few words as possible and combining it with Planes, Trains, and Automobiles of all things. But I think the fact the original book is so simple really helps in this case. The end result has to be that Sam convinces the grumpy curmudgeon, here named Guy-Am-I, to eat the titular meal. They can do just about anything as long as they reach the ultimate conclusion the book laid out, and since the story is really just a series of things Guy would not, could not eat green eggs and ham with, there is a world of opportunity to build upon and expand.

With each episode being a one-word title referencing one of the words from the book, each episode takes an idea and expands it while pushing the ultimate main plot, which involves Guy and Sam trying to return an endangered animal gonna, forward. For example, the mouse from the book is here reimagined as an homage to Jean Valjean in an episode where Sam and Guy have to escape prison, the fox has been reimagined as an egg addict hopelessly in love with a hen, and the goat is a hardcore nigh-unstoppable bounty hunter hired by the main villain to steal the animal that Guy and Sam are smuggling. As you can see, they took some wild creative liberties, but they’re all for the better, as they help make the world far more engaging and wacky (or perhaps wubbulous?)

Going off of that, the show’s greatest strength is most certainly the characters. Sam and Guy have that tried and true dynamic of the bouncy, energetic fun guy and the bitter, grouchy curmudgeon, and while these are archetypes we’ve seen before, the show actually carefully deconstructs their attitudes and shows why they are the way they are. Both of them are phenomenally voice acted, but I definitely think a Guy is the MVP, with Michael Douglas injecting so much passion and intensity into delivering the lines from the book, with his rant in the penultimate episode being one of the most emotional readings of Dr. Seuss dialogue I have ever heard. But that’s not to undersell Adam Devine as Sam; he gets a lot of awesome, emotional moments as well, and he and Guy definitely play off each other well. The last few episodes in particular will prove to you that the guy who played Pizza Steve can make you FEEL.

There are some new characters created for the show, the most major being the two other protagonists (EB and Michellee) and the three major antagonists (Snerz, Glutz, and McWinkle). Michellee is the overprotective mother of EB, and the two continuously cross paths with Guy and Sam, learning and growing much like our leads. They’re good in their own right, but I did sort of tire of the numerous falling outs Michellee had with Guy over the most contrived circumstances. A little bit of open communication would have helped there.

On the antagonist side, McWinkle and Glutz are a blast. The two are hot on the tail of Guy and Sam and have a similar dynamic, with McWinkle being serious and Glutz being a goofball, but in contrast to Guy and Sam these two are a lot more chummy and work better in sync. They also never overstay their welcome, which definitely helps, and the big reveal in regards to them is one of the most clever and hilarious moments of the series. Then there is Snerz, who is a greedy billionaire corporate scumbag with ridiculous hair and no sense of boundaries who cannot take any responsibility for his own personal failings and is blatantly evil and underhanded… remind you of anyone? As far as blatant riffs on Trump go, Snerz is one of the better ones, up there with Biff, and Eddie Izzard plays him to perfection. And finally we have Keegan-Michael Key as the narrator. Simply put, he is probably the best narrator since Morgan Freeman in The Shawshank Redemption, and he’s ten times funnier.

Perhaps the most impressive aspect of the show is the animation. It cost a lot per episode, and it definitely shows; in an age where 2D animation seems dead, this show really demonstrates the strengths of the medium and looks absolutely gorgeous, bringing vibrancy and life to the Seussian world inhabited by the characters. More than any other Seuss adaptation in the past twenty years, this looks and feels like Seuss. It helps that the humor doesn’t engage in anything too topical and instead mostly bases it’s humor off of the characters, and that the soundtrack mostly has 60s and 70s music, helping give the show a very timeless feel.

This is an absolutely fantastic show from start to finish, an absolute rollercoaster of emotions and a demonstration of the strengths of 2D animation. I have very few complaints beyond minor nitpicks like a lot of the contrived circumstances that drive Guy and Michellee apart and a character getting off a bit too easy in the end, but overall this is just a fun and surprisingly heartfelt and emotional show (though maybe not that surprising considering PT&A was an inspiration).

If you’re a Dr. Seuss fan or a fan of 2D animation, you’re doing yourself a disservice if you don’t check this out. And just in general, I feel like this show is something anyone could enjoy. This show has so much heart, humor, and character, I have no doubt that Seuss himself would be proud.

#Michael in the Mainstream #review #show review #green eggs and ham #Netflix #animation #animated series #Dr. Seuss #Michael Douglas

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littlemisssquiggles · 4 years

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LittleMissSquiggles’ Summary of Art 2019

Another year of art drawn to a close. This is not your typical art summary from yours trule. It's more of an art collage of some kind, if you can even call it that XD A definite art summary would imply that I actually did art for every month of this year and that is not what happened at all, fam.

As a matter of fact, it’s a miracle I even have anything to show since admittedly, 2019 was not a very creative year for me. I mean, I did create things but not as much as I would’ve liked.

Instead I spent most of the year focused on my studies at Animschool while juggling any small work-related projects I managed to score. And even when I did have some free time to work on my own stuff, I still didn’t have the drive to do all that I wanted to do which was a bummer.

Nevertheless, I’m still proud of what I was able to accomplish for this year no matter how small. Something is better than nothing, am I right?

Some squiggly good accomplishments I achieved for 2019:

I worked as a storyboard artist for two potential animated web series with the prospect of it being a recurring gig (we’ll see what happens in the new year with that).

I got the opportunity to work as a background colourist and tackled one of my biggest creative banes---background and environment design. I learnt quite a lot from this experience and it certainly inspired me to develop and improve on that aspect of my art. Still have ways to go with it but the drive to go for it is definitely there now and I have this small gig to thank for that inspiration.

Thanks to Animschool, I learnt how to use Zbrush and use it in the creation of characters and environments.

I created my first full 3D character model this year based off art from an artist whose work I’ve admired since my Deviantart days---Meago. I even showed the model to Meago and not only did she like my model, but she also gave me the okay to model any of her other characters from her Dollicious series which made me feel proud.

Apart learning Zbrush, I also learnt how take sculpted characters and props designed in Zbrush and retopologize them into production quality models for rigging and animation. I even learnt a bit of UVing---though I need to work on my UV Mapping skills more for the New Year.

My work was featured three times on the Animschool Instagram page where the school only shares the best work so that was fun little surprise each time it happened XD

I also successfully scored a feature in Animschool's Model/Rig Student Showreel 2018-2019.

I got to visit Tobago again for the first time since 2012 and I got to travel by plane for the first time ever. Turns out plane rides aren’t as nerve-wracking as I thought they’d be (even if it was a small 30 minute flight).

I got the chance to participate in the first-ever RWBY Rosegarden Charity Fanzine hosted by @darleenas-art with the zine proceedings donated to the Child Mind Institute.

I discovered my newfound passion for hand painted 3D models and successfully created my first hand-painted model despite being a complete noob to the craft.

So yeah, overall 2019 didn’t go too bad for the squiggle meister. Hard to believe that we're at the end of another year and with 2020 around the corner, it's hard to believe that we are at the end of a freaking decade too. 10 Years of Squiggling!

This is why I make it a habit to post all of my past art summaries. It’s a great way to compare how my artistic growth over the years and looking back at how my art looked way back in 2010 and seeing where it is now, it’s honestly insane! If you saw some of my old digital art back then, you wouldn’t believe it was drawn by the same person.

While I didn't get to do all that I wanted to do for this year, it doesn't change the fact that I did learn a lot. This year also helped me to realize a bit more of what I want to do with my craft and where I would love to take my art.

I have some ideas for projects I'd love to do for 2020 going forward. Not sure if I'll get to accomplish any of them. But like with any creative year, I'm excited to go into it and see what I am able to achieve.

Wish me luck for the New Year folks and the same goes to all the amazing peeps, old and new, who have supported me throughout the years including this one. Words and a mere thanks are never enough to express my eternal gratitude to all of you for your continuous support of my content.

That being said, I pray that 2019 turned out to be a good year for you guys as well and wishing you just as much luck in your respective endeavours for the 2020 too!

On a final note, I'd like to close off this summary with my tradition of sharing my personal best/favourite piece of this year.

The inspiration for this piece actually took me by surprise because it wasn't exactly planned. I think you guys already know which piece this is. Can’t say much else other than it turned out to be a quite the beautiful bouquet!

My Bouquet of Roses character design set remains to be my personal favourite piece of this year because it’s a unexpected project that made me gain more confidence in my style of drawing/designing characters. Before I admittedly didn’t have a lot of appreciation for the way I drew characters. I always did the thing where I compared myself too much to other artists whose worked I loved and felt my way was inferior.

But from doing this one project--- having to draw so many characters in my style and seeing how it all turned out and how much folks turned out to like...was fun. I hope I get to continue this project for next year since...I’m not exactly done with it yet and I’d honestly like to do more with it. Hopefully.

Still can't believe this all started with a small headcanon post which sparked the creation of a character that spawned more characters, an AU, one illustration project followed by several more projects and AUs---a hella lot more like hot damn!

But above all else, this one idea also sparked a small circle of friends whose interactions and conversations have definitely made this squiggle meister's year a lot brighter.

I may not be the most vocal person in the world but I still wanted to say thanks for the laughs and happy fun storytimes to @lookyeekiti, @che1sea-xiao-long, @miki-13, @nykamito-x, @cloudburst-paint-water @beaver-sen, @keyenuta and @ezroar!

Hears to the New Year folks! See you in 2020!

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♦ PREVIOUS ART SUMMARIES ♦

2013 | 2014 | 2015 | 2016 | 2017 | 2018

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~ LittleMissSquiggles (2019)

#art of littlemisssquiggles #art summary #art summary 2019 #artists on tumblr #forward march to 2020

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martianarctic · 4 years

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Devin’s Playlist -2010s Part 1

This is an unfinished retrospective look at what I listened to during the 2010s. This decade was exceptional for me, as it was the first decade where, for almost all of it, I was not a musician myself.

Being a musician forces you to listen to music like a musician, and being free of that, and able to listen as a listener alone, really made this a spectacular decade for me. I found dozens of incredible albums that were released during the decade, many of which received no significant recognition.

This was a very large project, and I did not finish it. I made it through Retrowave, Shoegaze, and Post punk. If anybody cares, I will finish the entire project, which will add Dreampop (the largest category), Vaporwave, and Dark Ambient.

Retrowave: Retrowave is electronic music that, at first listen, sounds like it may be from the 80s or 90s, mostly because the synths it uses to generate the music are either retro-inspired or literally retro equipment in some of the more extreme cases. It generally features original compositions, often, but not always, is instrumental. Rough vocals would impede the tightness and angularity of the music, so when vocals are used they are often pop produced and highly melodic. This genre gained significant exposure from Nicolas Winding Refn’s 2011 masterpiece, “Drive”.

Galactic Melt (2011) Com Truise

Electronic artist Com Truise rose to prominence off of this fantastic record, which rallies around the undeniable electro anthem of 2012, “Brokendate”. Starting with some found audio (chopped and screwed found audio becomes a big deal later on in Vaporwave) and then dropping in an absolutely thick beat we’re met with a song that eventually, as layers are dropped on, ends up being meditative, romantic, and melancholy. Emotions to that point, not well associated with dance music, but definitely would come to color the entire decade.

Era Extraña (2011) Neon Indian

Electronic solo bedroom pop was pretty cool at the end of the 00s being pushed hard by guys like Twin Shadow. I am not sure how I got ahold of Neon Indian but this album was, in a lot of ways, the true start of my musical decade. I had not been so excited and enthusiastic about a record since I had retired from making music. It really gives you a new perspective to not feel like you’re in competition with everything and trying to learn from everything- just as a listener, I was enthralled with this entire record.

Visitors (2012) Lazerhawk

I did not get into dark retrowave until after 2013 and thus discovered Lazerhawk and this record after the fact. Visitors is, in my opinion, the best dark retrowave album ever made, more consistent and listenable than competitors such as mega drive or carpenter brut. Also. This album absolutely sticks the landing with the street-strutting powerhouse “Arrival”.

I am the Night (2012) Perturbator

Made famous by soundtracking the indie game hit Hotline Miami (one of the best games of the decade), Perturbator carved a niche for himself with fast, brutal, high energy dark electronic music and absolutely bonkers live shows. Perturbator has a large catalog of content- I am the Night is definitely the starter kit. Starting off with a thick minor chord, a church bell, and a sample of Peter Finch’s speech from “Network” you immediately know what’s in store- dark, dystopian and undeniably French electronic dance music, complete with breathtaking beat breaks, big bass synths, and complex compositions.

Innerworld (2014) Electric Youth

I had mentioned that Drive was a major popularizer of retrowave- and one song in particular, a collaboration between another retrowave artist named College, who created the low fi, catchy bassline for the song “A Real Hero”, and the vocals and lyrics, created by an artist called Electric Youth. Their record, 2014’s “Innerworld”, is one of the best retrowave efforts, with the second track, “Runaway”, even better than the song that made them famous. The pop chorus “Maybe we could just run away for good/cuz we’re both mis understood” soaring over thick, atmospheric synth pads will have you slapping the roof of your car, as you race through the freeways of LA at 3AM.

Atlas (2016) FM-84

Speaking of roof-slapping bangers, “Running in the Night” is probably retrowave’s most popular anthem, boasting one of my absolute favorite vocal performances of the decade. A group claiming rock and roll city San Francisco as their home base (despite being both British), FM-84’s Atlas is absolutely packed with a mixture of the atmospheric instrumental Miami Vice type music suggested by the red and purple setting sun cover as well as vocal driven pop songs such as the single mentioned above.

Hardwired (2018) Mitch Murder

Mitch Murder is a retrowave institution, having made the soundtrack to the viral youtube movie Kung Fury, and also, I suspect, the original music used by twitch personality Dr. Disrespect. However, he almost entirely releases 3-5 song Eps, making it tough to pick out a standout. However that all changed in 2018 with the release of Hardwired, the most accomplished mitch murder release to date. Starting off with the Jan Hammer style “Altered State”, it stays on brand throughout but tells a very unified instrumental story of cyberpunk dystopian adventure. Vangelis-style synths bring in the closer track, “Revision Control”, one of Mitch Murder’s greatest tracks. Evolving through different moods, different scenes, we can imagine the “human” protagonist confronting his cyborg nemesis he has been tasked to execute.

Retrowave Album of the Decade:

Dark All Day (2018) Gunship

As the decade wore on, retro wave slowed down for me. I thought it might be over but- without warning, Gunship, an artist I had listened to but not been completely impressed by, released what is probably the most accomplished album in the genre. Spanning various tempos and musical themes, utilizing several guest vocalists, the scope of “Dark All Day” keeps you listening to the record again and again. This record represents an evolution in a format that was at risk of being just a fad. “Come on lost boys, lets stay alive” over a ripping saxophone lead suggests mere 80s fetishism, but there is more substance than just that. The following track, “When you Grow Up, Your Heart Dies”, takes an upbeat electro jam, and really goes for emotional impact with a series of samples of characters from pop culture saying inspirational things, my favorite being “Everything worth doing is hard” which I think is just Teddy Roosevelt. My favorite track of the record, the slow ballad “Artemis & Parzival”, begins with swooning, Vangelis-style pads and then into guest vocalist Stella Le Page’s gorgeous vocals. This track definitely belongs on anybody’s make out playlist. “Were all gonna die that’s just how it is, there’s no escaping the future, nobody gets what they want in this world, even for you and me” is one of the greatest lyrics of the decade.

Nugaze/Shoegaze-Adjacent: Shoegaze is a genre of music that features highly layered guitar effects (often run through 10 or more effects, creating a signature “vacuum cleaner” sound with a ton of distortion and white noise) and breathy vocals. Relying heavily on the depth of character of the sound, shoegaze guitar tone and production is a major creative point and almost all of these records are self-produced. Vocal themes are usually depression-inspired and lovelorn meditations, the music sounds, to most, dull and dreary, but to some, it speaks deeply to their feelings about the past and future. Shoegaze is often mixed with other guitar genres on this list, from Post Hardcore(Nothing, Title Fight), Black Metal(Deafheaven), and Thrash Metal (Astronoid).

Road Eyes (2010) Amusement Parks on Fire

Around 2010, I was promoted at my job to a new role that would require a bunch of travel. I was not a big fan of riding on airplanes. Also around that time, my brother had moved into my apartment, then out of it, and I only had a few months left on the lease. My favorite shoegaze band of the 2000s, Amusement Parks on Fire, played a gig at 330 Ritch, a club in san Francisco. I had a fantastic time at the show, and particularly loved their new material, which made it onto a record they called Road Eyes. 2 months later I moved out of my apartment in San Francisco and never would go back to living as a single dude.

Anyways, the travelling. The opening and title track to the record came to symbolize change for me. And it also was the song I would listen to every time my plane would take off. It helped me deal with the fear that something might happen- no matter how insignificant the chance �� and if it did, while that song was on, it would be okay. Indeed, this was, and I will warn you I am not qualified to treat mental illness, but this actually really made flying much easier for me and it is a ritual I continue to do to this day, whenever possible.

Pipe Dreams(2013), Sway(2014), Feels like You (2019) Whirr

San Francisco nugaze/dronegaze band Whirr, large and complex, problematic, aggressive, are behind some of my favorite music of the decade. Their three album career reflects to me upon the primary feelings of youth: euphoria, anger, and sadness.

Pipe Dreams is a blissful set of jams, meditative, energetic uptempo and with almost totally co-ed vocals. Noisy production casts a hydrocarbon haze over the songs, raw vocal melodies reach out of the fuzz and suck you in. “Junebouvier” and “Toss” capture the euphoric and youthful energy of a summer in San Francisco: starting off with breakups May thru July, and hot hookups until September or October when people settle into relationships. Two hungry eyes emerging from straight-bangs to make eye contact with you, and hold it- the exhilaration of touching somebody new.

Sway, the band’s masterwork, starts off with a heavily muff-distorted major 7th chord suspending us until the massive drums, now a hallmark of the band’s sound, kick off the beat into the opening rocker Press. The band switches up rhythms between drums, guitars, and bass to bring rock and roll-type turnarounds and breaks that really keep you on your toes and engaged. The lead guitar is classic legato shoegaze, using delay to achieve a long, sustained scream. Compositions are key on this record- not following just simple A/B patterns there’s some thought to the structure of the songs and record. “Dry”, in particular, demonstrates some of these ideas. A/B sections, underscored with “Drown me everytime… Dry”, give way to breaks, ethereal echo guitar solos, giving a hint of the powerful ending. A 4 chord progression accented by breathtaking drum fills finaly flourishes into a screaming cymbal-laden guitar finish.

Feels like You, the bands purported final album, starts off with some quiet echo piano. The melancholy major 7 chords the band has leaned on throughout their music are laid bare as we press play on the record. Add guitar. At a little after 90 seconds the band jumps in after with a thick blanket of lonesome self-reflection and chemical depression. The bands penchant for composition remains to the end, with changes keeping you engaged as the noise soothes your heart. “Younger than You” is one of the band’s greatest tracks, starting with an almost Smashing Pumpkins/Silversun Pickups esque clean unison guitar/bass into distorted and layered noise, ending with a drum-guided, rock and roll style outro.

Guilty of Everything (2014) Nothing

One of the things I mention in my preface to this is, for me, the 2010s were the first decade of my life that ended with me not being a musician. And it opened some doors for me, creatively, to be able to hear music and think about it purely as a listener and a person. Something others have frequently described to me, that I had never really done, was just spend an entire weekend listening to an album.

I saw Nothing on KEXP 5 years ago when Guilty of Everything was out and they were on tour. I’ve seen them twice in person since them and bought every one of their records. The weekend that I got Guilty, I was attending a close friend’s sisters wedding, and pretty much was in a hotel room drunk in overcast-as-fuck santa cruz all weekend. And you know what was being played through headphones at practically all times.

Nothing is mostly the musical project of a guy named Dominic Palermo, a punk from the Philly scene that had spent more than a year in prison for a stabbing. He isn’t much of a vocalist or guitarist, but he is a fantastic artist, writer, photographer, and visionary, and the creative force behind what is now a rotating cast of other musicians.

Guilty of Everything is definitely their best record, opening with the massive meditation Hymn to the Pillory, into the definitive single Bent Nail, a perfect marriage of hardcore punk and shoegaze elements, falling apart into the 90mph crash, into a wall, final outro chorus “If you feel like/letting go…” repeated over and over over pure drone guitars, seamlessly flowing into the romantic slow jam “Endlessly” The closing title track is one of the best closers of the decade, perfectly sticking the landing on this brilliant lyric: “My hands are up, I’m on my knees I don’t have a gun, you can search me please. I’ve given up, but you shoot me anyway, I’m guilty of everything. I’m guilty of everything”.

Hyperview (2015) Title Fight

Nothing wasn’t the only Pennsylvanian post-hardcore band to bend their sound a bit shoegaze. Title Fight also sneaks onto this list with their outstanding record Hyperview from 2015. Appealing compositions and melodies combine with harmonized vocals, even some 16 beats on the hats- things we expect from post hardcore, but slowed down and smeared out a bit into the shoegaze aesthetic. My favorite track from the record, “Hypernight”, combines some screamo hype man chorus, math rock inspired guitar and bass lines, and is just all in all one of the most unique tracks to come out of the decade. “I don’t want to see things differently, its what I am taught myself to believe”.

Grandfeathered (2016) Pinkshinyultrablast

I admit that I bounced off of Russian electro-shoegazers Pinkshinyultrablast the first time I listened to them a few years ago. There was just too much going on and I didn’t really have the inclination to jump in and grab on. Operatic female vocals, noisy djenty guitar, shimmery, clean guitar, all swirl together in what is undoubtably a great record for having a tinder date IF, and I say IF, you’re willing to run a musicological acid test on them.

Whether it was listening to a bunch more music, particularly ambient music, or just changing taste now I can’t get enough of this band. They do slam from idea to idea in a song, but it’s a controlled speed- it’s not pleasant to a lot of people, but once you get yourself situated, you’ll wonder how you ever missed this band to begin with, if you’re not one of the people reading this and thinking, naw dude, I got this shit RIGHT AWAY.

The compositions on the record are, in fact, carefully considered and composed, combining noise rock with clean ambience deftly and changing up styles repeatedly throughout each song and the record. Everybody knows we can no longer control dynamics via volume in today’s world of headphone/device listening, ultramaximizing mastering, laptop speakers, etc. So Pinkshinyultrablast controls it with style. This record is definitely the more guitar-driven of the albums from this decade, with their release 2 years later being more electronic and vocal focused.

Slowdive (2017) Slowdive/My Bloody Valentine (2013) mbv

There are two bands that are credited with creating and or popularizing the Shoegaze movement during the late 80s and early 90s. Those bands are My Bloody Valentine, and Slowdive. Both of whom released albums during the 2010s. And frankly, both records are damn good for two bands that have been basically on hiatus for 20 years. Neither has really stood the test of time for me, although I listened to both exhaustively upon release.

The opening tracks of both records are absolutely mesmerizing, this slow, sexy intro is clearly the part of them that became stronger with age. The manic rock energy of their more upbeat tracks however is absent or at least forced, and I think is what keeps these from being really what I’d call strong records. Nevertheless, both albums belong on any shoegazer’s playlists both for the quality of the music as well as the nod to the progenators of the genre we love so much.

Time n Place (2018) Kero Kero Bonito

KKB was already one of the biggest indie rock groups in the world when they released this their second full-length album. Making a big move sound-wise from super squeaky clean hip hop style production to sloppy shoegaze guitars and drums, they alienated a lot of fans with Time n Place, but I don’t see how. For me, coming in for Time n Place and then going back in the catalogue to Bonito Generation, I see it as a very natural progression. As the artists become more confident and mature, it’s natural they should explore some other emotions and moods.

That said I am not the usual KKB fan. Actually at their show in San Francisco in 2018 I was probably in the top 95 percentile of being an old fart. Around me, mostly twentysomethings on the first half decade, casually doing key bumps right on the show floor, something scared old gen Xers like me, still remembering their friend’s divorced dads in cigarette boats they sold for coke in the 80s, are still too paranoid to do. The crowd definitely starting pogo jumping at the chorus to “Only Acting” a grungy, poppy metaphor between acting on stage, and being young and in love.

Right after that, “Flyaway“ is the upbeat shoegazey manic anthem that really got me sucked into the band to begin with. Combining fuzzy guitars that are more reminiscent of Japanese rock bands of the 00s than shoegaze with a crystalline clear melodic vocal line from Sarah, this is the track where I grab a handful of dirt from my dying hill, and say if you don’t like this song, you don’t like the band, the record, or my musical taste.

Miserable Miracles (2018) Pinkshinyultrablast

Reinventing themselves record by record, Pinkshinyultrablast keeps on the cutting edge and doesn’t make a habit of anything. Miserable Miracles is more electronics driven, lead and pad synthesizers bringing in the music with their trademark soaring, operatic vocals. Guitars are present as well, but heavily stretched with cathedral reverb and long delay. A smoother sound than Grandfeathered, but well-poised to issue a majestic, meditative prayer such as “Find your Saint”, my favorite track. Like walking into a Germanic church on Sunday, the vocals rise to the ceiling forcing you to look up at the light breaking in through stained glass synthesizers. At about 100 seconds, all of the pieces drop in together to lift you into wherever it is you are going. “I used to talk- about it” brings the heavenly outro to bear, one of the most powerful musical moments of the decade.

Astronoid (2019) Astronoid

I am part of a few music groups on Facebook, and one of them mentioned this band, calling them “Dream Thrash”- a combination of dreampop and thrash metal. I’d say its more thrashgaze, with heavy effects/djenty guitar and the more whispery vocals than are a hallmark of the shoegaze genre, not the clear pop produced vocals that are the hallmark of dreampop.

That out of the way, this is possibly my favorite record of 2019. The opening track, “A New Color”, brims with energy and hopeful optimism and replaced Road Eyes as my airplane take off song. Right around 3 minutes in, when the plane is airborne and gaining climbing u to cruise, when we’re often breaking through the clouds, comes in possibly my favorite guitar solo of all time. On this record, Astronoid are unquestionably uptempo metal yet somehow at the same time being slow-changing enough to carry the emotional weight of shoegaze. The second track, “Dream in Lines”, is an aggressive, more metal-informed rocker, and the third is a power ballad that absolutely sealed the deal for me in terms of loving this album.

Other high points include the uptempo thrash jam “Breathe” and “Water”. Again infusing the metal, djenty mute strum guitar with soaring vocals and heavy backing harmonics, this record continues again and again to deliver head-banging jams that touch and heal a deep sadness in the soul. “Water” is a darker exploration, starting with a heavy chunky two-guitar & bass instrumental, virtuous breaks, and expansive echo and reverb. The band sounds like they are playing in the middle of an interstellar arena, fists human and alien in the sky.

The album sticks the landing with the penultimate track “Beyond the Scope”. This incredible song starts slowly, but upon reaching a turn, goes double-time as the melody and music climbs in pitch at 100 seconds in. This transition takes us into a greater urgency, with sustained, over-flying guitar notes keeping the harmony rich and complex.

Then, the beat drops out and a single guitar chord rings- “My hands are on my ears/They won’t stop ringing” smashes into your brain and your heart. Then again, the building section- “Feeble-minded/I can not decide/in my world, now I know/there’s no such thing as dying/so leave with a goodbye” and into another build and back to the chorus-

“My hands are on my ears/they won’t stop ringing”. I don’t think any lyric can better express the decade than that. If it were somehow possible for this album to end on this song, it would be at the head of this category.

Everything Starts to Be a Reminder (2019) Echodrone

As a former musician, I have a lot of friends who are musicians. I am very brutally honest about my feelings in music and that can make it awkward to have to comment on a friend’s hard work. Echodrone’s latest record made this very easy- the record is simply amazing. Echodrone’s earlier records bounced off of me a bit, but this one has just the right mixture of drone-drenched empty space, ethereal vocals, emotional anguish and euphoria, and a strong connection to the last 10 years in my mind. The tracks are named after the four seasons, starting with Winter and ending with Autumn. Interestingly, the tracks do not really stand out as being separate in my mind, much like how you cannot easily separate a season from another season in the same year.

“Winter” explodes with an epic, cymbal-laden meditation, that continues to grow and grow and expand, then finally becomes quieter, more melodic, and less drony in the second half of the 18 ½ minute song.

“Spring” features a finger-pick echo guitar interspersed with a beautiful co-ed vocal line guiding us down a pathway of different melodic and harmonic ideas. It then enters into a several-minutes long jammy contemplation that is utterly ecstatic to me- synths layered with effects-laden bass and more echo guitar into a full stop.

The best song on the record, “Summer”, begins with a vocal sample into a more or less straight-ahead rock and roll jam. This gives way to a downtempo effects section, then at right after 4 ½ minutes, gives way to a sound I can only call Olympian in hugeness. Fuzz bass, echoing guitars, and multilayered female vocals create this trance-like atmosphere that is rarefied and deeply marked with potent and everchanging imagery at the same time, like cream on top of coffee.

The sound continues to change and becomes quiet again once again with echo guitars carrying the music through. Back to a rhythmic return at 12 ¾ minutes. A synth flute melody flies over the whispered vocals, complex drum patterns- an opine to the end of life’s summer, the bitter sweetness of being old enough to not be hurt anymore by unlikely things failing to fly.

Shoegaze Album of the Decade:

Sunbather (2013) Deafheaven

A single distorted guitar chord progression holding several notes through the chords for changing harmonics, exploding into double kick and even more guitars, into black metal screaming- this is the unmistakable beginning of Sunbather by San Francisco black metal band Deafheaven.

Due to its downtempo sections, overall distorted and layered production, and emotional scope, this album is loved not just by black metal fans but also by shoegaze fans such as myself. It is a perfect example of a successful crossover- not anticipated or forced in any way by the creators- but it just happens to work on so many different levels.

There are really only four songs on this record, the tracks in between them are much needed interludes. Something all Deafheaven songs do very well is compositioning. These tracks play out, in a way, like classical pieces, with many different sections, transitions, themes, changes, openings, closings, callbacks- it’s so incredibly dense and accomplished that you can listen to this album for weeks on end and still be surprised.

“Dream House” is the blazing opener of the record and puts on display everything we love about every song on here. To make this song the first track is insane, simply because of how over-the-top insanely powerful it is. After a brief interlude of just picked echo guitar, a single chord strum, the entire band comes back in a beat later, and this isn’t even the most emotional part of the song. That’s going to be at 7 minutes, 20 seconds in “I watched/It die!!!” screeches the vocalist as a guitar ostinado plays over the key notes that have been presented throughout the song in brutal crystal clarity. Then at 8 minutes- the vocalist and guitar break down, screaming and double picking guitar notes. It is difficult not to cry at this ending- and this is only the first song on the record.

“Sunbather” is both the title track and the album’s dark heart. Thrumming with a complex beat from the start, the other instruments are layered over this like a tangle of vines across an iron fence. Skillful use of double kick and drum fills keeps the band on target as we get to the breaks and turnarounds. The cymbals and guitars swirl creating complex patterns. Listening to this song from far away with extremely poor speakers would sound like static- similar to how Jupiter looks like a pale gold smear- turn up the volume a little, get a little closer, and you see the rich, threatening complexity of the swirling clouds of music and emotion. The song ends with a slow section about ¾ of the way through the 10 minute piece. An unforgettable echo guitar line plays sparsely over drums- invoking a Cure-like gothic sensibility. Then the band comes back in, playing the same melody and expanding upon it, a lighting bolt magnified to a thousand forks and twists going in all directions. It is the melodies at the end of Sunbather that were stuck in my head, unforgettable, after listening to this record. Unlike Dream House, this song ends on a down note, a question- the rest of the album is to give an answer, and incredibly, you will not be disappointed.

“Vertigo” is the longest song on the record at 14 ½ minutes, a blazing, minor key rocker that is meant to emotionally drag us down as far as we can go after Sunbather. The ending of the song invokes the Beatles “She’s So Heavy” before heading into “Windows” an ambient and spoken word piece featuring a drug deal gone bad- unquestionably a node to The Tenderloin, one of the more drug-laden districts in San Francisco and likely location of the band’s rehearsal studios.

Into “The Pecan Tree”, a song that has an seemingly impossible task: To somehow stick the landing of an extremely powerful and emotional record. We are looking for something coming into this track, but we are not totally sure what it is. We need something, but we can only follow the lights. The song opens up with insane double-kick guitar madness, 2 step rhythm, and then at 1:20 we see a glimpse through the storm, a hole of blue, that we can make it to, if we keep on going. Keep on going. Keep on walking. Smashing, swirling guitars and screams return, our view obstructed. Everything seems to be going at maximum at the end of this first section of the song.

At just after 3 minutes, the sonic assault finally begins to slow down, a march tempo into double kick continuous cymbals, back to march tempo, then, at 4 minutes 19 seconds, only picked echo guitar heralds us into the second section. The star of this section is a piano ostinato combined with the echo guitar, with a second guitar playing playful melodies over it. This is the starry night we can now see that the storm has cleared- this is the most optimistic and life affirming music on the record. A found audio recording of a detuned radio signals the ending of this section.

Eventually, this music fades just before four metal beats brings us to the conclusion- an octave-fingering guitar line and screeching vocal that is in my view one of the most awesome emotional turnarounds that I have ever experienced musically. The remaining outro sums up the entire record- life is big, difficult, unknowable, chaotic. Great albums stick the landing- and this ending does so, with incredible energy, on a record that did not even need it. Sunbather. One of the greatest rock records of all time and one of the very few of those albums to come out now, just about half a century after the 60s.

Post Punk Revivalists: The king of indie rock genres in the 00s, post punk was largely set down at the end of the decade with the major acts of the decade releasing milquetoast or downright laughable fare (are we human, or are we dancer?). However, post punk exploded back onto the scene in 2012 with The Money Store by Death Grips. Some returning groups from the 00s did end up releasing fantastic records, Roma 79 and Daughters being my favorites.

Cardinal Star (2014) Roma 79

I discovered north San Francisco bay area band Roma 79 through their single from the 00s, “Gold”, a sort of heavy, post-punk rocker with a few-thousand views on Youtube. I was very surprised when they reunited and recorded this followup album, which was one of my favorite records of 2014. Featuring a good amount of synth and dreampoppy guitar lines, the main standouts are the vocals and the brilliant drumming, which is a hallmark of great post-punk records of the 00s such as Fever to Tell or Turn On the Bright Lights. The strongest single on the record, “Seventeen”, features a complex drum lines, interlaced with vocals and synths. The song slowly builds up in emotional intensity and drops in layers of vaguely Phil Collins-esque drums and backing vocals, blossoming into a powerful meditative love song. “I’ll wait for it with you.” The final song on the record, is almost an answer to this track, closing the record on a strong point.

You Won’t Get What You Want (2018) Daughters

Daughters is another post-punk band that returned to release a followup nearly 10 years later with 2018’s “You Won’t Get What You Want”. Like all great post punk records, there are a number of characters in this room, and they all can be heard, each having their moments in the spotlight and their moments in the shadows.

One such character is the drums. A crushing combination of live and multitracking effects create a rhythm that provides both the constant heartbeat required by driving rock and roll based music, but also the texture, the complexity, that we seek out in the genre. Lots of tom toms used to keep the beat as opposed to cymbals, practically no hat. Invoking Killing Joke, except when they don’t want to right away, but bring it in later.

Another character is the vocals. Spoken word/sing song type delivery, where the mood and the words and more important than the melody. Lyrics invoke isolation, depression, contraction, abandonment, decline. It would almost be enough with just that, these drums and vocals- but this will also be added by another character, the music. The music seems to be generated mostly by guitar and bass, but there are clearly some synthesizer elements as well, used sparingly and to great effect. I can’t really describe the guitar tone, I would say, it shimmers, but not in an enlightening way. It’s like flashes in the dark, disorienting more than illuminating. The sound is like wood coming off a circular saw. It’s definitely this guitar sound that draws people into this record. All elements are moody, dark, aggressive, but it’s the guitar that really lays down flashes over the blackness.

“Satan in the Wait”, one of the best single tracks on the record, features an off-balance drum beat, carried by toms, and an air-raid siren like guitar sound. A throbbing, distorted bassline in time with the kick drum. At 1:30 in we are given a guitar riff that is beautiful and invoking of a banjo, lending a sensation of urban, southern gothic emotions. Horror film soundtracks come to mind, a combination of unsettling ambience and clear, unforgettable melodies. “Their Bodies are open” the chorus goes, making me think of world-ending events, a transformational death as seen in Arthur C. Clarkes Childhood’s End.

Another of my favorite tracks, “Daughter”, begins with a “bela legosi is dead” kick and snare rim drum beat, possibly electronic, along with a shimmery, surf-rock toned guitar riff. As the song proceeds, more elements are dropped in, and the drums are of particular note here, at 1:23 or so, they drop into a complex beat involving toms, cymbals, and snare. At 2:05 they drop in a clear guitar riff on top of raw noise, building to a climax with the vocal “There’s a war!” At this point, the noise drops out, just a clear guitar riff reminiscent of “Satan in the Wait”, drums coming in at 3:15 or so are particularly impactful.

The final track, “Guest House”, opens on a nearly unbearable sonic assault, the lyrics invoking somebody trapped outside of a bomb shelter during an apocalypse. Once again the gap between unbearable noise and beautiful melody is bridged, as the final dissonant chords give way to deep, harmonic, peaceful orchestra swells.

Post Punk Album of the Decade:

The Money Store (2012) Death Grips

The first time somebody played “Get Got” for me, it was during a really chillwave phase in my music taste and I was completely lost, and didn’t really understand what people saw in Death Grips. I was intrigued enough though, and circled back on some tracks from Exmilitary, their prior record. The more laid back tone and empty space present in tracks such as “Culture Shock” kept me interested enough to give The Money Store another shot a year or so later.

As my interest in chillwave started to fade, and I sought more emotional substance to my music, I returned to the Money Store, and was hooked. Each track is a relentless blast of aggressive drum beats, synthesizer driven melodies, and of course the unmistakable rap vocals of MC Ride.

A strong comparison for me, is between this record, and Joy Division’s second and final record, “Closer”. Relentless beats, but never getting boring, always inventing new rhythms to cast a texture over the musical landscape. Short, fast songs, transitioning from one beat and tempo to the other, never giving you a chance to catch your breath.

The music is highly influenced by hip hop, appearing to be a chopped and cut style, with synthesizers combined with production on the vocals, adding vocals, filter sweeps, reverses, etc- so much energy and craft went into creating what is on its surface very simple music- drums, vocals, and production. Standout track “Hustle Bones” does a fantastic job of expressing what is so great about every song on this record. Everything barely makes sense, but then it all comes together in a singular moment that anybody can nod their head to.

MC Ride’s best is on display in the classic hit, “I’ve Seen Footage”. In his relentless, attacking rap style, he tells us the story of watching gore or wtf videos from reddit or 4chan (or Stile Project if you’re really old like me)- describing what he’s seen, and then underscoring that with the chorus, “I stay noided”- the character Ride creates is deeply anxious and paranoid, while at the same time being insatiable in the quest for knowing more, something I believe is nearly universal to the experience of the internet-informed human, a phenomenon that would later in the decade lead to diseases thought dead brought back by anti-vax movements, and the election of conspiracy theorist and popularizer Donald Trump as president of the united states.

And that’s the formula to each track on Money Store- working around something more or less literal, Ride’s poetry brings us into the dark state the world was only beginning to enter at the start of the decade.

Closing track “Hacker” opens with a recording of Ride, yelling, presumably at a concert “No ins and outs!!! You come out, your shit is GONE”, then into a 4-on the floor dance beat to end the record on an absolute banger. The music, carried by the beat and Ride’s systematic delivery, is left to its own devices, with glitchy, cut-off synth arpeggios, everything getting out of the way of the beat. “Having conversations with your car alarm”, “you speak with us in certain circles, you will be dethroned or detained”, and “Gaga can’t handle this shit” are some of the lyrical gems that Ride has saved for last here, closing out a post punk record that stands alongside Closer or Turn on the Bright Lights as one of the best of all time.

#music postpunk shoegaze retrowave vaporwave ambient darkambient dreampop nothingmusic whirr deafheaven astronoid deathgrips

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