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#i could talk about their relationship all day tbh it's so interesting
yamayuandadu · 3 days
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What is your opinion on the article "Mesopotamian or Iranian? A New Investigation on the Origin of the Goddess Anāhitā" by Alireza Qaderi?
He proposes that Anahita is possibly the syncretism of an Iranian Water goddess with Annunitum, and while it largely makes a lot of sense to me, especially with how it points out that we can't treat the Avesta as we know it as identical to the Avesta in Zarathustra's time, it also assumes the Central Asian goddess Ardokhsho comes from Aredvi Sura instead of Arti, and everything else I've seen just says Ardokhsho comes from Arti, although I haven't seen much literature on either deity tbh
Sorry it took me a few days to answer this ask even though it’s basically laser focused on my interests. I had some other stuff to read and unpleasant work duties to perform and couldn’t properly go through the recommended paper.
My feelings about the paper are mixed. I think anyone who remembers Annunitum was a distinct deity as early as in the late third millennium BCE deserves at least some credit. The notion of interchangeability of goddesses still haunts the field, fueled by Bible scholars, Helsinki hyperdiffusionists and the like. Overall the author shines in the sections dedicated only to the evaluation of the broadly Iranian material, but as soon as the focus switches to Mesopotamia things fall apart, sadly. More under the cut. Hope you don’t mind that I’ll also use this as an opportunity to talk about Annunitum in Sippar in general. I've been gathering sources to improve her wiki article further (don’t expect that any time soon though). 
The Iranian material
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Criticizing the vintage attempts at equating Anahita with Sarasvati is sound and sensible. Same with stressing that she is distinct from Nanaya and Oxus. The criticism of theories depending on lack of familiarity with the historical range of the beaver was a nice touch too, it demonstrates well that the author wanted to cover as much previous literature as possible. However, I also have no clue what’s up with “ΑΡΔΟΧΡΟ has an ambiguous relationship with Arədvī Sūrā”, I’ve also only ever seen this name explained as a derivative of Ashi/Arti save for a single paper trying to force a link to Oxus which was met with critical responses. It’s entirely possible this is an argument I simply haven’t seen though, I’m also not really familiar with this matter.
Overall the arguments against seeking Anahita’s origin in the east are perfectly sensible, and line up with the evidence well - no issues at all with this part of the paper. Following a more detailed list of Anahita’s easter attestations from Shenkar’s Intangible spirits and graven images. She appears on some Kushano-Sasanian coins, but this seems to reflect importing her from the west relatively late on since she appears in neither Kushan nor Bactrian sources. The coins are even exclusively inscribed in Middle Persian, with no trace of the local vernacular. 
For unclear reasons Anahita caught on to a degree even further east in Sogdia, but attestations are limited to the period between fourth and sixth centuries. Since they’re largely just generic theophoric names, it is hard to call her anything but a minor deity of indeterminate character in this context, though. I’ve seen the argument that the popularity of Oxus in the east might have been the obstacle to introducing her. Oxus was a bigger deal in Bactria than in Sogdia so it could even explain why Sogdians were slightly more keen on her, arguably, even if they and Bactrians came into contact with her cult under similar circumstances.
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Back to the article, the section dealing with the western attestations starts on a pretty strong note too. The need for reevaluation if it’s fair to talk about Achaemenid rulers as “Zoroastrian” is a mainstay of studies published over the past 10-15 years or so. I can’t weigh on the linguistic arguments because I know next to nothing about that.
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I’m not sure if I follow the argument that it makes no sense Iranian population wouldn’t need a royal order to start worshipping a new deity as long as they were Iranian, tbh - linguistic or cultural affiliation doesn’t come prepackaged with automatically updated list of deities one is obliged to instantly adopt as soon as they pop up into existence. Following this logic, why didn’t Sargon’s Akkadian speaking subjects in Syria just adopt Ilaba before being obliged to do so? You will find literally hundreds of cases like this, it’s a very weird argument to me.
The Mesopotamian material
The biggest problems start once the coverage of Mesopotamia begins. The rigor evident in the strictly Iranian sections of the article just… vanishes and it’s incredibly weird. Herodotus as a source is… quite something. The phrase “ a goddess with a Semitic character” is… well, quite something too (Reallexikon generally advises against defining anything but languages as “Semitic” in Mesopotamian context - Mesopotamian is a perfectly fine label to use, and accounts for the fact that Sumerian, Hurrian and Kassite are not a part of the Semitic language family). It keeps repeating later and admittedly I’m not very fond of this. Especially when it pertains to the west of Iran, where deities originating in Mesopotamia were worshiped since the late third millennium BCE - they were more Elamite than Mesopotamian by the time Persians showed up, really. The matter is covered in detail in Wouter Henkelman’s Other Gods who Are with Adad in the Persepolis Fortification Archive as a case study.
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Cybele was by no means Mesopotamian (with each new study she keeps becoming more strictly Phrygian, with earlier Anatolian, let alone Mesopotamian, influence becoming less and less likely) so I'm not sure what she's doing here, Nanaya’s associations with lions is almost definitely an Iranian innovation and not attested before the late first millennium BCE; despite earlier sound arguments against ascribing strictly Avestan Zoroastrian sensibilities to people in the late first millennium BCE, that’s basically what happens here. Lions were evidently viewed favorably by at least some Persians and especially Bactrians and Sogdians.
The less said about the part trying to link evidence from Palmyra to Inanna and Dumuzi (what does a marginal spouse deity like Dumuzi, entirely absent from Palmyra, have to do with Sabazius, a veritable pantheon head equated with Zeus?), the better. Frazerian bit, if I have to be honest.
I’m not sure about the enthusiasm for Boyce’s argument that it makes little sense for Anahita to simultaneously be a river goddess and to bestow victory in battle. The latter characteristic lines up well with her elevation to the position of a deity tied to investiture of kings, which in turn is something which boils down to personal preference of a given dynasty. The character of deities isn’t necessarily supposed to be one-dimensional and having distinct spheres of activity because of historical factors is hardly unusual.
Stressing that it’s not possible to treat Anahita and Ishtar as interchangeable is commendable. However, I don’t think it’s possible to claim continuity between the religious beliefs reflected in the relief of Anubanini and first millennium BCE Media. The argument is not pursued further, to be fair, but it’s still weird.
The next huge issue is the treatment of the late “Anu theology”. A good recent overview of this matter can be found in Krul’s 2018 monograph (shared by the author herself here).
For starters, it’s completely baffling to declare Anu had no spouse at first; Urash and Ki are both attested in the Early Dynastic period already - and the former appears reasonably commonly in this role in literary texts and god lists. Even Antu might already be present in the Abu Salabikh list.
Attributing Inanna prominence in Uruk and in the Eanna in particular to identification with Antu is utterly nightmarish and one of the worst Inanna takes I’ve ever seen; the fact it’s contradicted by information of the same page makes it pretty funny, admittedly. Inanna’s ties to the city go back literally to the beginning of recorded history (some of the oldest texts in the world are demands aimed at cities under the control of Uruk to provide offerings for Inanna ffs), and probably even further back. Meanwhile, Anu for most of his history was an abstract hardly worshiped deity; Krul stresses this in the beginning of her book linked above. I’m not a fan of ancient matriarchy takes which are often lurking in the background when the cases of earliest city goddesses like Inanna, Nisaba and Nanshe are discussed but I do think the need to downplay Inanna’s prominence and elevate Anu which pops up every few years in scholarship is suspect and probably motivated by sexism, consciously or not, tbh. 
Trying to make the “Anu theology” which developed in the late first millennium BCE an influence on the entirety of Mesopotamia and beyond is puzzling. Sabazius appearing in Palmyra with a spouse is tied to Anu, somehow? The fact that deities had spouses is? Atargatis ties into this somehow? I’m sorry, but I’m not following. Also, Uruk was no longer a theological center of the Mesopotamian world in the first millennium BCE. Babylon was, and before that Nippur. There is no need to speculate, there are thousands of texts to back it up. The late sources from Uruk in particular show that Babylon was somewhat forcefully influencing the city, not the other way around.
The Anu theology was a display of local “nationalism” of Uruk and had a very limited impact. There is evidence for some degree of late theological cooperation between Uruk and Nippur, and possibly Der as well (Der itself despite being located with certainty has yet to be excavated, though, so caution is necessary), but nothing of this sort is to be found in the late sources from other locations.
Annunitum = Anahita?
Finally, let’s look at the core idea behind the article.
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Right off the bat I feel it’s necessary to stress Annunitum generally wasn’t regarded as an astral deity. In the Old Babylonian period, the Venus role was evidently handled by Ninsianna in Sippar; later on they aren’t even attested there but the regular Ishtar is. Seems doubtful it would actually be Annunitum who got to be an astral deity there at any point in time.
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This claim is also highly dubious. There is no evidence that Antu was ever worshiped in Sippar, let alone that she was equated there with Annunitum; she doesn’t show up at all in Jennie Myers’ 2002 thesis The Sippar pantheon: a diachronic study. Paul-Alain Beaulieu stresses her lack of importance all across Mesopotamia save for first millennium BCE Uruk here. There is also no evidence that the late Anu theology impacted Sippar in any capacity. Shamash retained his position in the city until the death of cuneiform. Even in Uruk, Annunitum in the late sources appears only in association with Ishtar and Nanaya, not Anu and Antu. I will repeat how I feel about the need to assert Anu’s importance where there is no trace of it. Overall it feels like unrelated Mesopotamian and adjacent sources from different areas and time periods are used indiscriminately; which is ironically the criticism employed in the article wrt the treatment of Iranian textual sources by other researchers. The Assyriological sources employed leave a bit to be desired, too. In particular Abusch’s Ishtar entry in the Dictionary of Deities and Demons in the Bible is a nightmare (he’s good when he covers incantations but his broader “theological” proposals are… quite something), here are some quotes from it to show how awful it is is a central point of reference:
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Of the other authors cited, Jacobsen is Jacobsen and a lot changed since the 1960s. Roberts was criticized right after his study was published by researchers like Aage Westenholz. Langdon’s study from the early 1900s is an outdated nightmare, I guess we know what’s up with the Dumuzi hot takes now. Beaulieu is great but his papers and monographs aren’t really utilized to any meaningful extent, I feel. 
Other criticisms aside, I’m unsure if Annunitum was important enough in the fifth century BCE to be noticed by Artaxerxes II as postulated here, especially since Shamash was right next door and definitely retained some degree of prominence. Most if not all cases of Mesopotamian deities influencing Persian or broader Iranian tradition reflect widespread cults of popular deities - Nanaya, Nabu (via influence on Tishtrya), Nergal (in the west, around Harran) - as opposed to a b-list strictly local deity. And it’s really hard to refer to Annunitum differently. Let’s take a quick look at her position in the twin cities of Sippar - as far as I am aware, the most recent treatment of this matter is still Myers’ thesis, and that’s what I will rely on here. 
Annunitum is first attested in Sippar in the Old Babylonian period, during the reign of Sabium, though as a deity already locally major enough to appear in an oath formula alongside Shamash. In the Early Dynastic period Sippar-Amnanum was likely associated with an enigmatic figure designated by the logogram ÉREN+X who doesn’t seem to be related to her. When and how exactly the tutelary deity change occurred is not presently possible to determine and admittedly of no real relevance here.
Evidently Annunitum’s cult in Sippar was influenced to some degree by the Sargonic tradition she originated in, her temple was even called Eulmaš just like that in Akkad. It’s not impossible it was even originally founded by one of the members of the Sargonic dynasty, but in absence of pre-OB evidence caution is necessary. There is no shortage of later rulers who wanted to partake in the Sargonic legacy, after all. By the earliest documented times, it was the second most important temple in the Sippar agglomeration, and the only one beside the Ebabbar to have its own administrative structure. Annunitum was even referred to as the “queen of Sippar” (Šarrat Sippar; note that by the Neo-Babylonian period this title came to function as a distinct goddess, though). In Sippar-Amnanum there was a street, a gate and a canal named after her. A bit over 6% of the inhabitants of both cities bore theophoric names invoking her, also. Sippar-Amnanum was abandoned for some 200 years after the reign of Ammi-saduqa, but it seems the clergy simply moved to the other Sippar next door. Next few centuries are very sparsely documented at this site, but supposedly Shagarakti-Shuriash rebuilt Annunitum’s temple (the matter is discussed in detail here).
Inscriptions of Tiglath-pileser I dealing with the conquest of northern Babylonia affirm that Annunitum continued to be viewed as the goddess of Sippar through the Neo-Assyrian period. According to an inscription of Nabonidus her temple, and Sippar-Amnanum as a whole, were razed by Sennacherib (he also blames “Gutians” for it though by then this is a label as generic as “barbarian”). This might be why her cult had to be relocated to the other part of Sippar again. In the Neo-Babylonian period it returned to Sippar-Amnanum under Neriglissar, though her temple was only rebuilt by Nabonidus. It survived at least until the reign of Darius, though it was only a small sanctuary (É.KUR.RA.MEŠ) like those of Adad and Gula.
There is very little evidence for popular worship of her so late on: only two theophoric names have been identified…. For comparison, Shamash appears in 208 (out of 823 theophoric names, out of a total of 1243 total). Nergal, Gula, Adad and even Amurru are all more common.  Aya is also absent, but unlike Annunitum despite her prominence in earlier periods she was actually never common in theophoric names, save for the names of naditu; and naditu ceased to be a thing after the OB period.
Offering lists complicate the matter further. From the reign of Nebuchadnezzar, Annunitum started to lose ground to a duo introduced from Dur-Kurigalzu: a manifestation of Nanaya associated with this city and Ishtar-tashme. Why they suddenly appeared in Sippar and why they overshadowed Annunitum is uncertain, perhaps Dur-Kurigalzu just failed to recover from decline after the end of the Kassite period and eventually the decision was made to start transferring local deities to other nearby major urban centers. The process reversed during the reign of Nabonidus, who ordered an increase in offerings made to her. This might’ve been motivated by his general concern for Sin and any deities considered members of his immediate family - essentially, a display of personal devotion. This elevation is still evident in offering lists from the reign of Cyrus, though.
Overall the paper is quite convincing - outstanding, even - when it comes to the Iranian material alone, and between mediocre and nightmarish once the author shifts to Mesopotamia.
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purpleshadow-star · 4 months
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Apparently there's been a lot of discourse about Nico and Percy on Twitter lately? Idk about here cause I haven't seen much personally, but here are a few facts I think people need to remember, coming from someone who is rereading the series right now:
Nico and Percy do NOT hate each other. They don't even dislike each other
Nico never hated Percy. Nico never really blamed Percy for Bianca's death (he was projecting. This was explained in tbotl).
Nico never wanted Percy dead or to get any revenge on Percy for Bianca's death
Percy never bullied Nico or was even outright mean to him, except for in the Last Olympian
Nico and Percy were on good terms by the end of the Battle of the Labyrinth. They were fine. There was literally no bad blood between them
NICO WAS WRONG TO TAKE PERCY TO HADES WITH NO WARNING. Nico thought Percy wouldn't get hurt because Hades told him he wouldn't hurt him (remember, Nico has no reason not to trust his dad), but Nico still could have at least explained the situation to Percy before taking him to Hades. There was no need to trick him. Percy might have even agreed to go talk to Hades to help Nico in exchange for Nico's help gaining the curse of Achilles, or explained his history with Hades and that Hades was most likely tricking him. Nico probably would have listened! There should have been communication from Nico to Percy
PERCY WAS WRONG FOR THE WAY HE TREATED NICO IN THE LAST OLYMPIAN. Yes, he was stressed. Yes, he was under a lot of pressure. That does not excuse his actions. Him being mad at Nico is 100% understandable. Him holding a sword to Nico's throat and purposely not moving it when he realized Nico was there to get him out is inexcusable, especially when he claimed Silena and Luke were heroes after they got multiple demigods killed and almost killed him/ got him killed multiple times (he called them heroes in the same book, when he was just as stressed, if not more so bc he was literally in the middle of fighting a war and people were dying around him). All three of them took actions to right their wrongs, but only Nico isn't considered a hero to Percy? Why, because he didn't die for him?
Regardless, Nico and Percy DO NOT HAVE BEEF after that. Nico convinced Hades to help and goes and helps in the battle of Manhattan, and Percy appreciates and acknowledges it. No more beef between them
I'm going to stop here because I haven't reread the Heroes of Olympus series yet, and I don't want to misremember anything, but the point is:
Nico and Percy have a complicated relationship. They both have hurt each other, but they've moved past it. They're friends. They're not super duper close, but they do care about each other, and no one can or should deny that.
The faster people accept that they both have done bad things to each other and have moved past those things and don't dislike each other, the faster we can put an end to this ridiculous discourse.
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il-miele-che-scrive · 3 months
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you know what people are saying when a girl gets cheated on? go for his brother.
a/n not tryna offend anyone, I just love a lil drama
Part 2 here
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username1 Miss Y/n Y/l/n getting cheated on? No one is safe fr
↳username2 Yeah cuz how's he casually cheating on a literal goddess??
username3 they were together for almost 2 years😭
username4 My therapist will hear about this
↳username1 And Arthur is paying the bill
username5 that's it I'm NEVER trusting a man
username6 Isn't that girl Y/n's friend too? Poor girl getting cheated on twice
↳username3 yes it is 😭 guess Arthur got it from his brother
username7 Except Charles didn't cheat 😭 he's a homie hopper but he got morals
username8 I don't worry about Y/n, she's gonna find a new bf, but she wasted almost 2 years on him
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yourusername excuse my state i'm as high as your hopes
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username2 Miss girl about to enter her hoe phase
↳username3 As she should tbh
charlottesiine Lots of fun last night🤍
↳yourusername nothing will beat an ex wags night out
↳username2 best ex wags fr 😭
yoursister Next time I'm going too to keep an eye on you wtf
username4 Wait so Y/n and Charlotte are friends? When did this happen?
↳username5 Yeah cuz we've never seen them hang out back when ChaCha was a thing and suddenly the girls are partying together?
↳username6 I mean it could be just a "we both suffered a Leclerc so let's hang out" kinda thing
username5 WE BOTH SUFFERED A LECLERC 💀 no okay but that's valid
username7 Am I the only one noticing this post was liked by Charles?
↳username2 He knows his lil bro messed up lmao
username8 Okay guys so what are we betting on - did Charles like this post because of Y/n or because of Charlotte? Also, isn't he in a relationship?
↳username3 Charles has been single for a few months now, he's free to like whoever he wants lmao
↳username9 It's just a like it's not that deep
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arthur_leclerc You were my cup of tea but I drink vanilla latte now
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username1 The AUDACITY some men have
username2 and she was her best friend 😭
username3 I really want to believe they broke up before he got with the best friend but I don't think it's true
↳username4 Y/n and Arthur literally attended Charles' race a few days before we got the pics of Arthur with the other girl
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yourusername you don't mean nothing at all to me
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yoursister And I didn't even have to stop you from calling your ex
↳yourusername why would I even wanna call him anyways
yoursister Riiight, you were too busy getting to know some other interesting people:)
username1 What is Y/s/n talking about?
↳username2 Or rather WHO is she talking about?
username3 No Charlotte in the post but Charles is in the likes again 😶
↳username4 Have you seen what this one gossip page posted? Charles being in the likes isn't the thing I'd worry about here
username5 WHAT.
username3 Care to elaborate?
username4 Charles was also at the club with Y/n. It honestly looks like it was organized by a friend of his and he took Y/n there
username2 OH
username2 That's what Y/s/n is talking about
username5 Our girl Y/n is getting promoted from F2 to F1 and I love to see that
↳username6 LMAO it's so funny because it's true 😭
↳username2 Do we know who else was at this party?
username4 Allegedly the party was organized by Gasly, so obviously there was his gf Kika, but also some fellow drivers like Albon, Russell, Sainz, Ocon, Ricciardo and their gfs
username5 I was joking but now it looks like Y/n is actually becoming an F1 wag now lol
username7 Gossip girl on wheels I've been saying it for months
username8 But the caption SLAPS
↳username9 no because it looks like Y/n and Arthur are having a caption war lol it's funny
username8 It's childish but let a girl heal from a heartbreak in peace
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yourusername karma will take it from here
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username1 MISS GIRL?? WHO IS THE MAN??
↳username2 We all know it's Charles (allegedly)
username8 Nah cuz I told yall she's gonna find another boyfriend soon
yoursister Loving to see you happy again ❤️
↳yourusername just needed a little upgrade
username3 I have no proof but I just know it's Charles
username4 Do we think she went for Charles because she genuinely likes him or just to get back at Arthur?
↳username5 Wait until someone starts a "she cheated on Arthur with Charles" gossips
username6 My two favorite red flags
↳username7 The homie hopper and the brother hopper, a match made in heaven
username6 The homie hopper is so real, Y/n recently hung out with his ex Charlotte 💀
username8 What kinda brother gets with his brother's ex?
↳username9 Imagine the next family dinner lmao
username10 Y'all it's not even confirmed that the man is Charles, y'all are crazy
↳username6 The post was liked by all the F1 drivers and their partners that were on the party from Y/n's previous post, it says a lot
↳username2 What @/username6 said and also Y/n is now followed by half of the F1 grid AND the wags
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charles_leclerc Not your cup of tea, but my glass of wine
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yourusername KARMA IS MY BOYFRIEND❤️
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just4koo · 6 months
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cornflower blue - jjk.
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summary: nights were your favorite time with your boyfriend. the nights where you laid in bed together, tangled up in each other without any thoughts of the real world.
word count: 4.3k
genre/warnings: established relationship, porn with (kinda) plot, fluff, smut!!, unprotected sex, soft!dom jungkook, really soft overall, lots of praise, fingering, aftercare, dirty talk, creampie, jk loves to use pet names (tbh i didn't proofread this)
bruised on your face like a watercolor bloom, moonlight paints your skin cornflower blue
Every time you got a glance of your boyfriend, you wondered how on earth you were so lucky to find him. Every morning you spent next to him, you thanked whatever brought him to you because you couldn't imagine a life without him anymore. Without sharing your mornings and evenings together, having stay at home dates, sharing everything. The good, bad, and the ugly. There were moments where you felt like you could just stare at him for hours. Right now was one of those moments.
It was the mundane moments that really got to you. He had just gotten home from work a couple hours prior. The two of you had shared dinner together, he had ranted about his day like usual, and he had gone to the bathroom for his routine shower before bed. Now he was laying on the bed with you in all his glory. Damp hair, glasses resting on the bridge of his nose, pajamas lazily pulled on, the two of you watching an episode of the baking competition show you two loved so much.
Somewhere during the episode you had lost focus once you got a glimpse of your boyfriend. He was much more interesting than the show to you, much more beautiful than any piece of artwork. Every curve and dip of his face, every blemish and mole, it was so perfect. The light of the TV brightened his features enough, allowing you to look at him even more in depth. Swoon over the beautiful brown eyes that were focused on the show.
It was almost as if your boyfriend could sense you staring. After a couple minutes of you watching him, his eyes flickered over to you. Earlier on in the relationship you would've shied away from his gaze at the prospect of being caught, but not anymore. Not when all you wanted to do every second of the day was remind him just how perfect he was. His eyes immediately softened when he saw you already looking at, revealing the gaze that he always had reserved only for you.
"Feeling tired, baby?" He asked in a tone full of affection, one of his hands moving to gently brush a strand of your hair out of your face. Your heart practically fluttered as his fingertips barely grazed the skin of your cheek. He was always so attentive to you that it made your heart throb uncontrollably. 
"Mhm.. Can we just lay down and listen to our playlist?" You asked quietly, provoking a soft smile from him. It was one of the things you both loved to do. You loved music equally, and that love had produced a playlist that the two of you only listened to together. It had everything on it. Silly songs, slow songs, things that you wanted to recommend to each other. The song had 700 songs and was still being added to.
"Of course we can, come here.." Jungkook replied, holding an arm open for you. Without a second thought you were immediately abandoning your spot on the bed next to him in favor for crawling directly into his arms. With an arm now wrapped around you he cut off the TV and opened his phone, going into his music app to play the playlist. One of the first songs that played was soft R&B, one of the songs that had been recommended to him by his fans.
A small yawn fell from your lips as you rested your head against his shoulder just like always. His hand had instinctively traveled under your t-shirt, starting to rub slow circles into your waist. You had one of your hands in his hair, playing with the soft strands that he had decided to grow out a while ago. Everything in the moment felt perfect, like it was where the two of you belonged. Laying in bed with your limbs tangled, listening to the music.
You eventually found yourself looking back at Jungkook, you just couldn't help it. How could you not admire the most breathtaking person you'd ever laid eyes on? Especially not when he was looking right back at you, his eyes holding the same admiration that you were feeling for him at the moment. It was almost like the music faded into the background and now you were just stuck sharing a gaze with your boyfriend. Without the light of the TV anymore, the moonlight casted a blue hue in your shared bedroom, illuminating his features.
He was so stunning that it hurt. You wished nothing more than to be able to fully convey the things you felt for him. There wasn't a day that you didn't tell him how much you loved him or how handsome he was, and yet you still felt as if it wasn't enough. Words could never truly describe the emotions this man drew out of your soul. Without even knowing he made you want to be the best version of yourself possible.
"What're you thinking of, my love?" Jungkook eventually questioned, unable to hold in his curiosity anymore. You would often do this, look at him without really saying it. While other people may have commented on it or thought it was a bit strange, he never did. Because he knew that when you were looking at him in that way, you were feeling all of the same things that he felt for you.
"You. I'm always thinking of you." You answered, causing that familiar feeling of butterflies in his stomach. No matter how long the two of you had been dating, one thing never changed. The magnitude of your feelings for each other. Most couples had honeymoon phases, losing the initial level of interest they had in each other once they got to know one another. But it wasn't that way for you and Jungkook. No, it had been the opposite. The closer you two grew together, the harder and deeper you fell. 
You were eventually snapped out of your reverie by the sensation of your boyfriend's fingers brushing against your cheek again. This time, intentional. You looked back up into his eyes as you felt this, seeing him looking right back down at you. A soft smile pulled at the corner of his lips when he noticed the slight flush on your cheeks in the soft blue light of the moon. To him, you were a masterpiece. There was no purpose in going to museums when he had the most beautiful sight right in front of him, everyday.
"God, I wish you knew how much I love you." He breathed out. You felt your flush deepen at those words. The thing that brought you the most amount of happiness was knowing that what Jungkook felt for you was the same. You were both two young adults hopelessly in love with each other, the two of you against the world forever. The promise ring on your right hand sealing in your future together.
After a few more moments existing in the silence together, the two of you were simultaneously leaning in for a kiss. If you had one last wish before you died, it would be to experience this. To feel his soft lips slot against yours and draw away all of your worries. To take you to a place where you didn't have to worry about anything. Where you could just exist with him; live without any doubts for the future or any regrets for the past.
The two of you kissed softly and gently, getting lost in the warmth you got from each other. At one point, the feeling of you two kissing was becoming too much. The music provided a soft melody, joined with the new sound of the two of your breaths becoming more rushed. Your hands becoming more curious the longer your lips stayed locked. It was impossible when everything you felt for each other was so strong. The fire fueled by being so close.
With a small hum, Jungkook's other hand had slipped under your shirt, holding onto your waist to gently pull you closer. Kissing you was a dream to him, and he wanted every bit of it you let him have. With you, he wanted to do all of the things that lovers do. He wanted to worship and admire every single square inch of your body, because it was what you deserved. He saw you as a goddess that walked the earth, and he got the opportunity to feel your love.
"Jungkook.." You softly whispered his name as you felt his hands beginning to caress the skin of your back. He had never heard a prettier noise. Your boyfriend's touches were making your body warm up, always so sensitive to even the smallest touches from him. Your heart was practically pounding out of your chest when he grabbed ahold of your waist and flipped your positions, his elbows on either side of your head and his knees resting on the outsides of yours.
"Shh... I know, pretty." Jungkook replied quietly. He wasted no more time in pulling the sleep shirt over your head, leaving your upper half exposed to him. His eyes took the time to slowly drag down your exposed skin, his pupils dilated and his lips slightly parted. He looked as if he was in awe as he took a mental picture of the sight of you, how you looked laying back against the sheets, your skin practically glowing cornflower blue.
You were about to get shy about the way that he was observing you at the moment, but any thoughts were quickly wiped from your mind when his lips landed on your neck. Your body shivered in an immediate reaction to his touch, feeling the way he smiled against your skin. His lips worked gently and slow, trailing kisses all across the skin. One of your hands had tangled into his hair, wanting to keep him in place.
His fingers were once again gently rubbing your waist as his wet kisses slowly began to travel down your body, wanting to appreciate every single curve and crevice of your body. Your breath hitched when his tongue began to trace your areola. He always loved paying attention to your breasts, loved the soft skin on them and the way that you moaned so angelically whenever he stimulated you here. Just as expected, he earned one of those moans when his lips latched around your nipple.
He sucked gently, always sure to move his hand to attend to the breast he wasn't paying attention to. He flattened his tongue to move directly against your skin, ever so gently grazing his teeth against your nipple and earning a tug on his hair that made him moan. He finally pulled back only to give your other breast the same exact treatment. Jungkook was always a giver, and he made sure that no spot of your body was left unattended.
After a minute or so of this, it had become too much from you. The pool of arousal between your legs was so severe that it was giving you an uncomfortable sensation. You pulled his head away from your chest, his eyes immediately looking up at you with concern, wondering if he had done anything wrong or accidentally hurt you.
"I'm fine, Koo. I just.. I need you now." You said in an almost pleading tone, feeling borderline desperate. The worry on his features dissolved and instead was replaced with a grin, although you could clearly see the desire in his eyes just as strong as you felt it. He had no complaints though, he would do anything you asked.
Without wasting another moment he was undressing himself, taking off his t-shirt and the pajama pants he'd been wearing. Leaving himself in just his black Calvin Klein boxers that was enough to make any woman drool at the sight. Yet, this man was the one practically drooling at you while he was gently pulling down both your shorts and panties. This was a sight that Jungkook would give up everything to see. He wouldn't trade you for all the fame and fortune in the world. He had won the lottery with you.
"You're so damn beautiful.." Jungkook said without much thought, his tatted hands moving to rest on your thighs. They massaged the flesh gently, taking the time to appreciate the softness of your thighs. It was always one of his favorite parts of you. He had spent countless times fixated on your thighs, kissing and touching them. But he knew that tonight, neither of you had much patience. So after a few moments, his hands gently spread your thighs open.
"Such a pretty little pussy as well. Why does every part of you have to be so perfect?" He added on once he got a sight of the mess between your legs. Your cheeks were flushed deep red at his words. He had always been blunt with his words and how he felt about you. Sometimes it made you feel light and happy, other times like now it only fueled the burning fire of desire you felt for your boyfriend.
Not wanting to spend any more time making you shy, he started to give you what you wanted. His middle finger slowly swiped down your pussy, all the way from the hood of your clit to your slit. His eyes watched in wonder as you clenched down on nothing, so desperate to have him inside of you. If it was his choice, he would spend hours doing this. If he knew that it wouldn't torture you, he could be here all day playing with you.
Even though he could tell that you wanted him right at that moment, he always made sure to prep you a little before. Sparing a few moments using his fingers was worth it when he could ease the pain that you felt when his cock initially split you open. The one thing he hated most was seeing you in pain, especially if it was something that he could've prevented. So even though he saw the anticipation burning in your eyes, he didn't give in yet.
Your whole body shuddered when his thumb pressed directly against your clit. He rubbed in slow, small circles. All focus on the way that your back slightly arched off the bed and your hole was desperately fluttering. Just the sight was enough to elicit a groan from him. You drove him absolutely crazy, just as he was doing to you. Even the slight touch of his finger was enough to make your whole body react.
"Jungkook, please-" You started to beg, but was cut off abruptly when you felt his index finger push past your entrance. A moan fell from your lips as you were finally feeling some of the stimulation that you wanted.
"Patience, darling. Let me stretch out you a bit, okay? You're doing so well already." Jungkook muttered. His finger slowly began to pump inside of you while his thumb continued to give attention to your puffy clit. One of the things he loved most was the way that you were always so receptive to everything he gave you. You were so reactive also, unafraid to show him just how good he could make you feel.
A little while later he added his middle finger to join. There was already a sheen layer of sweat covering your body due to everything you were feeling at the moment. He worked ever so gently, fingers slowly scissoring inside of you to try and stretch you out a bit more. He made sure to stimulate your clit the whole time, making it easier for you to open up for him. He spent a few minutes just doing this, fingers curling against the spongy spot he had memorized, just as every other part of your body was to him.
He had spent so many times doing this, that he knew every way your body reacted. He knew what every twitch looked like, every expression on your face. He never got tired of this. How could he ever get bored of watching the one person he loved so much falling apart due to his touch? It was a sight he would never lose.
The closer you came to your climax, the more vocal you became. There were moans coming from your mouth, mumbles of his name, small whimpers. It all rushed through his body and went straight to his already painfully hard erection. Even though it was borderline painful, he didn't mind waiting if it meant you were properly prepared for him.
He stared as your hips began to twitch, knowing your climax was close. He ever so slightly quickened the pace of his thumb against your clit and it was enough to send you over the edge. Your hands that had been resting on his shoulders dug into the skin as your whole body trembled with the force of your orgasm. In just minutes he had you falling apart on his fingers, unable to do anything else but call out for him as he continued to move his fingers inside of you, letting you ride out your high.
He finally pulled his fingers away when he felt the taps on his shoulder, knowing exactly what it meant. You shivered a little when his fingers slipped out of your pussy, his fingers wet with your essence. He wasted no time in bringing his fingers up to his mouth, tasting your release with a deep groan. Just the sight of your boyfriend sat back on his heels with his fingers in his mouth, cock straining his boxers, was enough to immediately turn you on again.
"I need you please, so bad.." You finally uttered after coming back from the overwhelming sensations he'd given to you. Your hands were already on the waistband of his boxers, his eyes intently staring you down as he pulled his clean fingers from his mouth. He watched as you pulled down his boxers, helping you remove them fully. He saw your reaction to the way his cock sprung up to gently hit his stomach, showing just how much he desired you.
You reached out for him immediately, wrapping one of your hands around the base of his erection, drawing out a quiet hiss from under his breath. You barely had time to slide your hand up before he was taking your hand away and pinning you back down to the bed. He looked down at you with so many emotions in his eyes. Love, affection, desire, lust. Everything that you felt for him completely mirrored.
"How could I ever resist you when you sound so pretty for me?" Jungkook questioned quietly, his knees pushing your thighs apart to nestle himself between your legs. His hands held both of yours, pinning them down to the bed. His eyes were locked onto yours, always wanting to stare right into the eyes of his lover as he showed just how much he felt for you.
One of his hands momentarily moved to take ahold of his throbbing cock, rubbing it against your entrance. You were both immediately moaning in your neediness. He knew that there was no way he would be able to last long, not when what he felt for you was so intense. Unable to take anymore of the torture, he finally aligned himself with your entrance, guiding his hips slowly to make sure he didn't hurt you.
"Oh my god, you're so perfect." Jungkook's face fell to the crook of your neck, having to use all of his strength to hold himself back from drilling into you. Your head fell back against the pillow when you felt his cock splitting you open, pushing past your entrance. Your walls were immediately pulsing around him and he swore that he was in heaven. Once he bottomed out he stayed still, free hand going down to rub small patterns into your clit to help you ease up, his lips kissing against the delicate skin of your neck.
"You can move now, please.." You whispered after getting used to the feeling of your boyfriend deep inside of you. His stimulation to your clit helped and now you were just desperate for him to make love to you in the same way he always did.
Jungkook immediately began to move at your permission, hips pulling almost all the way back before he thrusted back into you. Every slight movement of your body was enough to make his cock twitch. From only just a few moments he felt like he was so close to the edge. Every time he felt like he was about to orgasm he would slow down, edging himself to bring you more pleasure. You were always his first priority.
"This cunt is so sweet, baby. Made just for me, hm?" Jungkook asked as his hips rolled against yours. He worked at a steady pace, not wanting to rush things when everything felt so perfect. For once you two didn't have to rush in the fleeting moments during the day before you had things to get done. No, both of you were with each other in the light of the moon, without a worry of a single thing other than each other.
"Yes, Jungkook! Only for you.." You practically whimpered out, back arching and pussy clenching at his sweet praise. That was enough for him to practically lose control of himself. His hands gripped your thighs now, pushing them against your chest so he could reach even deeper into your insides.
"Fuck, that's right. Only for me. Such a good girl for me, aren't you?" His voice was becoming more high pitched, moans borderline raspy at this point. You sounded so sweetly to him, like an angel coming down to bless him personally. Sometimes he wondered if you were actually a dream, but these moments were too real for him. 
Your response to his words was a high pitched moan, nails desperately clutching at the sheets the deeper he forced his cock into you, the longer his finger quickly rubbed at your clit. It was all too much, yet you could never get enough of him, of what he gave you. You had always been his good girl, and you always would be. The love of his life, his darling. Every single word he fed to you just made you feel even closer to your climax.
"I love you so much, you know that right? N-never forget that.." Jungkook breathed out with a slight stutter, almost unable to think straight at this point. He was ruining himself right now by how hard he was holding back, his balls painfully aching every time he drove himself back into your sopping pussy.
The sound of your joined moans along with your cunt squelching with every single deep thrust was a melody to him that no other music could ever come close to. No sounds could give him the same amount of satisfaction and feelings as this did. He loved you with every single fiber of his being. He needed you even more than that.
"I l-love you too. I can't.." Your voice was so desperate at this point, unable to formulate any proper sentences. But he knew. He always did when it came to you. He could feel the way your whole body was trembling right now, he could see the way your eyebrows were pulled together and the way you were biting down on your bottom lip. You were close to your second orgasm, and he wanted nothing more than to fill you with all of his love.
"I know, darling. Want to feel you cream my cock. Come for me." Jungkook mumbled into your ear, almost unable to contain himself anymore. Giving you the final push as his lips crashed against yours, reaching your peak for the second time that night. Your body tensed up and thighs trembled, your lips parting in a silent moan.
The sight of you at the height of your pleasure was too much for Jungkook to bear. With a few sharp thrusts into your quivering pussy, he let out a prolonged groan as you felt his cum filling you in long spurts. His hips were pushed flush against yours, his cock quivering as he felt you milk him for all he was worth. 
As the both of you came down from your highs he lazily ground his hips against yours a few more times, letting the two of you come down slowly from your highs. Once the both of you winced at the feeling, he pulled out of you, cock now soft and covered in the mess the both of you created. He looked down at your hole, watching with interest as the mix of your cum was spilling from your entrance.
Fighting off the urge to push it back into your used pussy, he got up from the bed and walked into the bathroom, coming back with a rag to clean you up before any more of the cum got onto the bedsheets. Like always, he made sure to wipe the both of you down before getting back into the bed right next to you. Not bothering to get back dressed as he just wanted to hold you.
His arms immediately wrapped around you and pulled you closer, causing you to smile. Your body was exhausted but it was the best feeling. The pleasure was still running through your body. Even more importantly, you still felt all of the love from before. He never failed to make you feel loved and appreciated. Your boyfriend was amazing.
"I love you." You mumbled to him, smiling lightly at the song that came on, remembering the music the two of you had been listening to. The moon was still high in the sky, leaving the two of you with more time to lay together. More time to stay in your little bubble without any worries, no thoughts except ones of each other. Being in the comfort of knowing that you loved him, and he loved you just as much.
"I love you too."
in the morning, i'll love the mangled bits of you i'll love you when your lips turn cornflower blue
1K notes · View notes
maplesyrupsainz · 3 months
Text
˖⁺。˚⋆˙ours | FA14 ˖⁺。˚⋆˙
pairing: fernando alonso x famous singer!reader y/n (she/her)
genre: social media au, established relationship
warnings: none just super fluffy
summary: in which it's (finally) time for you and your husband to tell the world that you are in fact husband and wife
a/n: MY FIRST FERNANDO SMAU hehe so much fun actually tysm ppl for sending reqs for him in :))) honestly this just remind me of the rumours of him & taylor swift dating so i used that as some inspo <333
request!!!: Hi could you do a smau for Fernando where he’s secretly been married to a singer who’s a MEGA STAR and stuff 🫶
my masterlist
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instagram ->
yourusername
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liked by fernandoalo_oficial, pierregasly, and 3,173,618 others
yourusername sick day 🤧
view all 33,193 comments
fernandoalo_oficial we really missed u at the race this weekend y/n ❤️
lewishamilton rest up!
user1 y/n has the f1 grid in a chokehold
user2 i miss her
user3 she's sick and she still looks that gorgeous
user4 the y/n stan to f1 fan pipeline is real
user5 we have no choice when all the drivers are her bffs 💀
francisca.cgomes feel better babygirl ❤️‍🩹
user6 aww her beautiful kitty
user7 tbh this looks cosy af
user8 the teacup is so cute i love her
messages ->
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instagram ->
fernandoalo_oficial posted a story
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liked by lewishamilton, yourbff, and 44,293 others
user13 omg y/n my babygirl
user14 i love nando & y/n's friendship
user15 awww our lil grid bff
user16 she's precious
user17 what's she recording urmm
lewishamilton tell her i miss her
liked by fernandoalo_oficial
fernandoalo_oficial
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liked by georgerussell63, yourusername, and 88,293 others
fernandoalo_oficial 🌃
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user18 omg y/n sneak??
user19 sneak??! she's the main event ofc
carmenmmundt ❤️
liked by fernandoalo_oficial, yourusername
georgerussell63 my favourite duo
user20 interesting...
user21 new ship just dropped y/n and nando
user22 new?? where u been
user23 urm y/n looks extremely gf here.....
user24 i believe this is a soft hard launch.
user25 delulu
user24 im right. just you wait
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yourusername this love is ours 🫶 yours now on all streaming services.. just because it's been a while.
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user25 IM DEAD IM FINISHED
user26 THE SOFT LAUNCH???
user27 looks hard to me😦😦
user28 omg she's so in love gang
lilymhe beautiful song ❤️
francisca.cgomes you're amazing y/n!
carmenmmundt not ever surprised by your talent
user29 omg the wags in the comments
user30 Y/N AND FERNANDO I KNEW IT
fernandoalo_oficial 🫶
user31 wtf oh my goddd
twitter ->
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interview ->
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instagram ->
fernandoalo_oficial
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liked by lance_stroll, yourbff , and 882,284 others
fernandoalo_oficial just for the record that's my wife you are all talking about
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user43 WIFE???? WHAT
yourusername lollll 💀 i love you
fernandoalo_oficial i love you more
georgerussell63 beautiful couple as always
liked by fernandoalo_oficial, yourusername
user44 oh my god
user45 how has this gone under the radar for so long
user46 HOW DID YOU GUYS GET AWAY WITH THIS
user47 wife omg
carmenmmundt hehe you are both amazing
yourusername luv u
user48 i've passed away from this
user49 things are adding up
yourusername
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yourusername elevator buttons and morning air
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user50 y/n are you a wife
user51 I KNEW SHE WAS FREAKING MARRIED
user52 she is so personal to me
user53 i have the ultimate parasocial relationship with this relationship
carmenmmundt me too tbh
user54 HAHAH
user55 obsessed with carmen being their biggest fan fr
lewishamilton my favourites!!
yourusername love and miss you!!!!
lewishamilton see you at the next race i hope?
yourusername you know it
user56 WE WONNN
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fernandoalo_oficial i love you hermosa
yourusername i love you💘
THE END ❤️
803 notes · View notes
myfictionaldreams · 9 months
Text
Winter Soup // Mafia!Stucky x F!Reader
Summary: There was no better feeling than a bowl of hot soup when you're feeling unwell and, what's even better is when it's delivered to your door every day by your new guard. It tasted amazing and you could always trust everyone in the Mafia... right?
Requested by: @senjoritanana​​ thank you so much, I hope you enjoy all the angst!
A/N: PSA I don't know the specifics of how poisons work and didn't want to risk it on my google history lmao so please ignore any inaccuracies. Please read the tags if you're affected by near death experiences, please proceed with caution and if I've missed any tags/warnings, please let me know!
Warnings/Tags: 18+ readers only, hints of smut, angst (LOTS BUCKLE UP), fluff, polyamory relationship, poisoning, blood and injury, anxiety, crying, begging, near death expierences, reader is injured, pain, emotional hurt/comfort, hospitalization, protective Steve Bucky and Sam, everyone needs a hug tbh
Words: 7.7k
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The warmer months were slowly starting to shift into winter and for some reason this year, the weather change was beginning to affect your health. You’d heard of the phrase ‘seasonal depression’ but you were convinced that it was due to the cooler weather that was making you feel this rubbish.
It had been happening for a week now, and some days you’d feel fine, normal in fact but then others your chest felt so tight as if an elephant was sitting on top of you, nausea, vertigo and heart palpations that would have you clutching your chest with fear you might explode. With each passing day, you would be praying for the summer months to return, especially as the snow and ice increased with intensity outside of your home.
You were fine for the most part, good days and bad; yes you might be getting worse with each passing day but you were adamant that the seasonal illness would pass. However, the frosty weather was also a minor blessing because it was your excuse to stay home and be a pretty housewife for Steve and Bucky. Being able to stay home made it easier to keep the illness to yourself as well, it was a busy time within the Rogers mafia and you didn’t need them wasting their time fretting over your wellness when they had a lot of other things to do. They had many international deals that were so close to being signed for and contracted that every waking hour was spent at the office, on phone calls, and emails, trying to talk to locals across the world to attend meetings on their behalf so the boys were thoroughly busy.
There were a few occasions you’d attended with them to the office if you were feeling particularly needy or lonely but it unnerved you to drive on the snow and ice so when you suggested that you might stay at home, Steve and Bucky offered no complaints.
At home at least you were able to mop about, trying to perk yourself up with movies, pyjamas and your favourite bowl of warm soup. Over the last few months, you’d been trying to improve your cooking skills, especially to impress Steve who usually cooked for three of you. This became more interesting as the colder months drew in over Brooklyn as this meant you could cook more homely, hearty foods such as soups and stews, especially as you had recipe suggestions from the newly hired grounds guard Rafael.
He’d been recommended by a friend of a friend for Steve to hire which was perfect timing because the last grounds guard had retired. There were a few occasions when he was the guard to bring the post to the front door from the front gate and you soon found he was enthusiastic and easy to talk to, even though he was a little bit older, which was how you found out he had previously been a chef and offered to give you recipe ideas. As winter drew in, Rafael began turning up when he knew you were by yourself to deliver some of his momma’s family recipe soups, hoping that the meal would perk you up which it did, they tasted so delicious that you were secretly hoping he would keep bringing them to you, especially as you continued to feel unwell.
“What is it today?”, you asked voice full of hope and trying to sound as upbeat as possible. Even though you were desperately holding onto the door handle as your head was spinning and scared you’d fall over.
“Potato and leek soup and they’re all grown in my back yard so hopefully you’ll love it even more than usual”, Rafael smiled as he handed over the container, his smile broad and causing the aged creases at the corner of his eyes to deepen.
Gleefully you accepted the soup, opening the lid slightly to smell the delicious meal, your stomach grumbling with hunger. Your appetite had reduced significantly over the last few days due to always feeling nauseous however it seemed the only thing that you could stomach was his delicious meals and therefore his arrival was always welcomed.
“Thank you so much! Please will you let me pay you this time? You’re being way too kind to me, always giving me free meals, you’re going above and beyond a usual guard”, you pleaded whilst also having to return holding onto the door handle as it felt like the ground was moving with your dizziness.
Rafael held up his hands and shook his head, taking a step back, “Absolutely not! Just wanted to give you something to make you feel better and make the fairies go away”.
The guard halted, a look of embarrassment passing out his features as he realised what he just said, especially as you asked, “Fairies?”
He awkwardly looked down at his shoes, rubbing the back of his neck as he tried to explain, “Yeah it’s just something my momma use to say. If we were feeling unwell, it’s because the fairies had crept into our stomachs and were being naughty and making us ill and now I’ve said it out loud to another person I’ve realised how insane that sounds so I’m going to stop talking”.
You squeezed your lips together to try and contain your laughter but that lasted a moment before you were both laughing which only turned into you losing your balance against the door and swaying to keep yourself upright. The laughter died in Rafael’s eyes as he reached out to you, “Woah, you ok, Ma’am?”
Quickly brushing him off, you took a step back into your home, trying to ask nonchalantly about the situation, “Yeah sorry, probably just the fairies pushing me over”. Your joke didn’t seem to comfort him in any way as he continued to look uneased by your appearance.
Thankfully Rafael didn’t push the situation any further, seeing that you wanted to escape back into the comfort of your home, he took his step back with a simple smile. “Get back inside before you catch another cold from this snow. Eat the soup whilst it’s still warm and I’ll be back tomorrow to hear the verdict on the taste.”
“Thank you Rafael! Enjoy the rest of your day!”. You waved him off and rushed to slam the door, sliding down to the floor against the wood, losing all energy that you’d built that morning just for that one conversation. Ok yes, you were feeling sorry for yourself as you tried to catch your breath, heart pounding violently in your chest that it also echoed in your ears and your vision was still seeing double of everything.
However your stomach continued to gurgle with hunger so without wasting any more energy, you opened the lid and ate the entire contents then and there. Releasing a satisfied sigh at the delicious meal, you took another couple of minutes to gather your senses before dragging yourself over to the living room, collapsing onto your back on the couch and letting sleep take you into a dreamless realm.
A violent shake of your shoulders by a hard grip on your shoulder was what startled you awake as Sam’s voice then surrounded you as he shouted, “Hey! Wake up!”.
“I think this is the first time I’ve ever been close to hating you Sam Wilson”, you croaked before coughs shattered your chest, rocking your body as you tried to sit up and suck in any air between the painful coughs. Finally, you calmed down enough to collapse back against the decorative cushions of the couch and open your eyes to look at the three Sam’s that hovered over you. After a couple more blinks, they merged into one, very distressed-looking bodyguard, eyebrows knitted together and jaw muscle clenched harshly.
Sam reached towards your face, pressing against your cheek in concern, “Why didn’t you tell me you were ill?”
“What? I’m not ill, I’m just tired, can’t a girl nap around here?” you questioned with a raised eyebrow, trying to look as relaxed as possible. 
The man didn’t look convinced as he sat on the edge of the couch next to you. Releasing a heavy sigh which only twinged something in your chest that made you want to cough but you refrained from doing so as you emphasised, “Sam seriously, I’m fine”.
Sam gave you another serious glance, eyes hardening as he explained, “You didn’t sound fine, you were wheezing so hard in your sleep I thought you were going to stop breathing”.
There was no denying the panic that filled your heart and would explain the tightened feeling in your chest but you tried to not let the fear show on your face as you rolled your eyes, reaching for his hand and squeezing it.
“I appreciate your concern Sam, but I feel ok, I’m just tired, I was probably just sleeping in a weird position and look, no wheeze now!” Taking a deep breath to show there was no more noise coming from your chest, however, it didn’t seem to comfort him in any way.
“Yeah well you’re still looking peaky and why are you so tired all the time recently, you’re never usually like this”.
“It’s probably just the cold weather or something. If I start to feel unwell, you know I’d tell you. I’m a big baby when I’m ill, you’ll be the first to know”. Sam looked to be contemplating believing you and all you were silently begging for was that he didn’t call Steve and Bucky, they just didn’t need this stress right now. Even though it was in his contract to call them at any sign of injury or illness but as Sam looked at you, other than looking tired, you seemed to be fine and still joking with him. Finally, he gave you a simple nod and you couldn't hold back the thankful sigh. “Do you mind if I go back to sleep for a little while longer or do you need me for anything?”
“You’ve been sleeping a lot recently”, he stated his earlier point again.
“What, so I’m not allowed to nap now?” you teased him with a subtle smile, hoping to crack his worried exterior. It only half worked as he shook his head to himself, standing up and pulling the fluffy blanket that had been left behind you on the couch and throwing it over your body. Before you could even thank him though, sleep had stolen you back into its resting state. 
Sleeping for a few more hours, Sam was nowhere to be seen but he usually liked to check the perimeter ever so often and speak to the other guards so you weren’t worried about his whereabouts. As you shuffled to the kitchen, you couldn’t tell if you felt any worse or better after all the sleeping, haven’t wasted another day feeling sorry for yourself, you tried to snap out of it by glancing through the refrigerator and cupboards and deciding to ssurpriseSteve and Bucky with a romantic meal.
The house was soon filled with delicious scents of sweet and savoury as you’d baked and were in the process of cooking their dinner. You were in your own little world and had only stumbled a handful of times with dizziness and the headache that was building was currently mild in comparison to others you had, it was fine you determined to yourself
Still lost in your own thoughts, you hadn’t even heard the front door open as you were suddenly enveloped by a muscular chest and arms, a smile aching your cheeks as you nuzzled back into Steve’s body. His lips danced over your cheek and down your neck as he held you close, the roughness of his beard comforting. “I didn’t hear you come in”, you commented, turning your head slightly to chase after his lips, sighing deeply in your chest as he held you tighter for a second, hands dipping beneath your shirt at your waist so that he could feel the warmth of your skin.
“I did shout”, he revealed whilst moving back to neck, not to kiss but just to smell you in, his body almost melting into the floor as he felt at home with the familiar scents. “I’ve missed you”, he whispered against your skin.
Goosebumps instantly flooded over your body as you shivered, turning in his arms to hug him properly, your fingers scratching through his hair that was beginning to curl at the ends where he’d allowed it to grow out over the winter months. “I’ve missed you too”, you whispered against his lips, lazily kissing and breathing each other in.
“Come with us tomorrow, I want you to be near me”, he admits with words that were making you cling to him harder.
You wanted to say yes and the word was on the tip of your tongue but then your thoughts drifted to the soup coming. “I’ve got a delivery coming that I can’t miss, I’m sorry”.
“The guards can get the delivery”, he counters.
“It’s fresh soup I want it whilst it’s hot”, an embarrassed smile finds its way to your lips as he leans his forehead against yours, his eyes closed as he just enjoyed the moment of the two of you being together.
“Soup? But we could order that to the office if you wanted it, you know that’s no issue”. 
You pout dramatically, hanging off his neck as you whisper with a childish tone, “But it won’t be the soup that I’ve ordered and want”.
Steve rolls his eyes but you know he's being playful, he could never find a reason to be upset with you. Rolling back his shoulders, he stands back to his full height, opening his eyes to cup your cheek with his massive hand but this was when he took you in and a frown dawned on his face just like it had on Sam’s. “Are you feeling ok?” The hand on your cheek moved towards your forehead, expecting to feel a temperature but it felt normal.
“I feel great”, you say with as much cheer in your tone as possible, still holding onto his neck but mostly because another wave of dizziness had rushed through you and you needed some support to stay standing.
Steve didn’t seem convinced, “You just … look a little off”.
You playfully rolled your eyes, similar to how he had just done, “Wow thanks Steve”.
“You know I didn’t mean it like that”.
“I know, I’m joking, I’m fine - really, it's nothing to worry about”. He eyes you and doesn’t fall for your grin so you tried your next trick up your sleeve. Leaning on your tip toes whilst pulling his face closer, you whispered against his lips, “I love you, Stevie”.
The tension momentarily eased from his shoulders as his grip around you tightened, “I love you too”.
“Sorry to interrupt your love fest but I want my own loving”, Bucky broadly announced from the entrance of the kitchen where he was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, a twinkle of mischief in his blue eyes however as you pulled back from Steve and he could finally see your face, the happiness seeped from his face. “Woah, what happened? Are you ok?”
You gave a frustrated huff, finally releasing Steve’s neck as you pointed in the direction of the decorated table. “Right, both of you go and sit down before I decide you don’t deserve any food for being mean”.
Steve shuffled away first as you continued to cook the food, Bucky looking ashamed as he came over and kissed your cheek but before he could pull away, you quickly captured his lips in a kiss to show you’d been playing before and weren’t upset.
“Why are there only two plates on the table?”  Steve questioned as he took a seat.
Without looking over your shoulder at him, you casually answered, “I’ve already had mine, I wasn’t sure when you were both going to be home and I didn’t want to wait”. They both seemed to accept your lie and you happily sat with them as they ate, asking about how the deals were going. They both seemed to be agreed that they were sure to have contracts signed tomorrow and had even been able to pay off some of the international police so that shipping of the goods could occur. In truth, after the soup, you were not feeling at all remotely hungry and even the smell of the cooked food had turned your stomach over.
A couple of hours later, the three of you were preparing for bed. Steve is in the middle and you are to his right and Bucky is to his left. You and the mafia boss had been kissing deeply for a couple of minutes, his hands beneath your shirt, brushing against your breasts, rough fingertips peaking your nipples as you ground down on his thigh. You were soaked and he could feel the evidence of it as you weren’t wearing any underwear but the longer the touches and kisses went on for, the more you were feeling unwell.
As his teeth tugged on your bottom lip and he began to trail open-mouthed kisses over your jaw and down your throat, you noticed Bucky was doing the same thing but to Steve’s neck from behind. However, there were two Bucky’s instead of one as your vision swayed and it felt as if you were on a water bed with how unsteady you felt. The headache was close to a full-blown migraine as well now which only continued to make you feel nauseous so even though there was nothing more you wanted than to continue where this intimacy was leading but, for once, you had to stop it.
“Wait, just- just one moment”, you pushed against Steve's shoulders at the same time. The blonde's hold on you loosened as he moved his face back to look into your eyes but you’d closed them, trying to hide your face from him and Bucky who had also sat up further to check on you. “I just- sorry I’m tired and I… I’m not sure- sorry.. I don’t think-”.
Steve’s fingers tipped your chin up to look at him as he smiled softly down at you, “If you don’t want to do anything, we don’t have to. If you’re tired then I’ll just hold you close, ok? Please don’t apologise for not wanting any of this”.
You relaxed in his arms, feeling grateful for him but also bad that you could feel how aroused he was against your stomach. “Thank you. I’m just feeling so tired today. Please don’t let me stop you both, continue without me, I just want to go to sleep”.
“You don’t have to give us reasons why you don’t want to do it, baby, we’ll do whatever you want to do. Me and Buck don’t have to fuck if you want to be held, I don’t want you thinking we’re neglecting you”.
Affection and love warmed your heart as you kissed Steve’s lips and then reached over his shoulder to kiss Bucky. “I love you both but seriously please continue, I like watching you both anyway so that’ll satisfy me enough if I’m not asleep by that point anyway”.
They both gave their love back to you with praises and pecks to your face before rolling away from you and beginning their exploration of each other's bodies. You watched with a smile on your face for a couple of moments and your core ached with need but as a burst of pain pounded through your temple, your eyes shut automatically to help ease the pain and from there, they never opened again as sleep took you soon after.
The next morning, your migraine had gone but your entire body felt weak and drained of any energy. Steve and Bucky took one look at you and determined that they’d be working from home, wishing to remain near you but they still needed the comfort of their home office upstairs whereas you remained downstairs, pretending to watch TV.
Somehow, you had continued to hide your seasonal illness, they just thought you still looked peaky. Today was the worst you’d felt so far, even having to use the wall as support whilst walking around the home, silently coughing into cushions so that the boys wouldn’t hear upstairs and this only increased the sharp pain shooting through your chest.
At lunchtime, Sam came over to visit and found you at the table in the kitchen, head lying against the table top as you dipped in and out of sleep. You were too tired to even pretend to joke and thankfully for once he didn’t pester you with being unwell, especially knowing Steve and Bucky were home, he assumed they had seen how bad you were so he just sat next to you at the table, easing his hand under your head so you had some comfort against the hard surface.
Soon after, Rafael knocked on the front door with your soup delivery. Usually h,e would stay at the door, never coming into your home but Sam insisted that he come out of the cold and deliver the soup to you in person.
“Yay!” you croaked, reaching out for the warm container, seeing the soup within and seeing that it was a deep red colour today, possibly tomato.
“I didn’t know you cooked, Rafael”, Sam noted, taking his seat next to yours once more as the new guard stayed standing at the head of the table. Other than Natasha, Sam was the lead of the security and guards and technically Rafael’s boss.
“Oh yeah, he used to be a chef”, you explained to Sam, whilst opening the lid of the container, smelling the delicious food and confirming your theory that it was tomato soup.
“Chef? I didn’t know you worked as a chef”, Sam remarked with a frown, eyeing Rafael with confusion as he’d been the one to complete the job interview and didn’t remember seeing chef on his CV.
Rafael casually shrugged his shoulders, looking somewhat tense at the questioning but still forced a smile to his face to please his boss. “I didn’t think it was relevant to the job, to be honest”.
“We’ll have to get you on the bbq when the weather perks up, maybe that’ll stop the arguments between Steve and Bucky”, Sam mused over the thought.
You tried to chuckle but the exhaustion had you slumping against the table as you mumbled, “I feel like shit”.
Sam tensed next to you, “Maybe we should call a doctor. You know, I’m surprised Steve and Bucky aren’t down here right now looking after you, do they even know how bad you’re feeling today?”
“Wait, they’re both here?” Rafael asked Sam but he ignored him, his focus solely on you.
Once again you’re too tired to think of an answer and shrug your shoulders, turning your head to look up at Rafael, “I think the fairies like me too much”.
“Fairies?”, Sam questions thinking that you’d become delirious.
You smile genuinely to Sam, reaching to tap his shoulder, “Inside joke Sam, keep up”.
There was no further discussion of fairies as more hacking coughs ripped through you. It took a couple of moments and Sam rushed to get you a glass of water before you slumped back against the table in exhaustion.
“Why don’t you have the soup and then see how you’re feeling later? Maybe the rest is all you need”, Rafael suggested, filling the silence with his voice.
You couldn’t see it but Sam gave his employee a scathing look, “Rest is all she’s been doing. I’m calling the doc and then I’m going upstairs to tell Steve and Bucky”.
“Aren’t they busy?” Rafael continued to question Sam. “I’ve heard they’ve got that deal coming up from Italy and France, they might appreciate it if you wait a little bit before calling Doctors”.
Sam’s voice was quiet and stern but you were too tired to notice. “That’s not common knowledge, how do you know that?”.
Massaging your temples with the pounding thuds that hadn’t stopped since your coughing fit, you decided that Rafael was right, usually sleep made you feel better. Reaching for the soup one more, you opened the container as you addressed your bodyguard, “he’s right Sam. I just need today for all the work stuff to be over and then I’ll call the doctor. The boys don’t need any distractions, especially today, one more day isn’t going to kill me”.
Sam didn’t look happy as you began to idly sip on the thick, delicious soup. As you thanked Rafael for the meal, Sam finally looked back to him, his frown deep and unmoving as he asked, “Don’t you have work to do?”
Rafael’s spine straightened, “Oh yeah, right. Sorry, sir” and with that, he left to return to work.
“You don’t have to be so bossy you know, he’s just trying to help”, you tried to reason with Sam.
However, your friend ignored you and moved to hold your hand to pull your attention away from the meal and towards him. “I’m giving you until the evening, wait no- if you get any worse before the evening, I am calling the Doc, no arguments, understand?”
“Yes sir”, you say with a little salute.
Finishing your soup, your boyfriends finally came downstairs and you attempted to straighten your posture and plaster a fake smile on your face. Bucky paused in the entryway, sniffing the air and asking, “What’s that smell, I know it's from somewhere but can’t put my finger on it”.
“Is it my soup?” you say, trying to stand up and act like the floor was spinning beneath you.
“No, it’s not that”, he pondered, still looking around and trying to smell whatever he recognised but couldn’t pick it up again. Steve and Bucky both walked past you, kissing the back of your head as you casually explained that you were going to lie down for a little bit. “Wait, let me come with you-”, Bucky started but you held out your hand to stop him.
“You’ve got a busy time at work and I’ve got Sammy boy here anyway so you two continue with your work and we’ll have a nice evening in, Ok?”
“Yes Ma’am”, he mutters before continuing to make his lunch. It wasn’t often that he listened to your instructions but both men were so busy and overwhelmed with work and the consequences that could come from it all that they were all over the place.
The next hour passed by slowly and you didn’t manage to sleep even for a moment because your symptoms were making you feel so awful. You were wheezing so bad that each breath felt like you were suffocating, your eyes began to roll with how much the room was spinning and a violent tremble rocked through your entire body, you didn’t feel right, something was wrong and it was beginning to scare you.
“Sam?” your voice was nothing more than a rasping whisper but he still was able to hear you from where he had been on the phone with the doctor from across the room, having noticed your deterioration in health. He was kneeling by your side in a couple of broad steps, the phone balancing between his cheek and shoulder as he rested a hand on your temple, feeling your spiked temperature. “I don’t feel good”, you admitted, voice full of terror before more coughs ruptured through your chest, leaving you struggling to breathe.
“Steve! Bucky get down here right now!”
“No… no, I just need to sleep”, the fear had disappeared from your voice as you wished for the exhaustion to take you completely, hoping that in sleep you wouldn't feel the pain destroying your insides.
“Hey! No!  Don’t go t sleep, need you to stay awake for me, Doctor Banner is on his way but you can’t go to sleep”, Sam urgently tapped your face, rousing you from the sleep as Bucky had all but jumped down the entire flight of stairs at the shouting.
“What’s going on- What the fuck? Doll?” he replaced where Sam was so that he could continue to explain to the doctor what was happening.
“I’m just not feeling ok, it’s fine Bucky go back to work”, you were somewhat delirious, still not really opening your eyes but leaning into the coldness from Bucky’s hand as he cupped your face. Bucky looked to Sam for answers, his eyes bright and alert with fury and worry.
When Sam shrugged his shoulders, not having any answer as to why you were suddenly so unwell, Bucky quickly turned back to you and assessed your deteriorating health and noticed just how laboured your breathing had become. As he spoke, it was with surprising gentleness but still held authority, “I need you to take a deep breath for me, honey, I want you to try and fill your lungs with air”.
“I’m trying, it’s just seasonal illness, it’ll be ok”.
“What are you talking about?” Bucky asks, not letting go of your face but just moving in closer.
“It’s just seasonal”, your words began to slur as you became incoherent.
Steve finally descended the stairs with just as much purpose as Bucky as he demanded to know what was going on but Bucky couldn’t answer him as he continued to talk to you and keep you awake. “It’s not seasonal, you’re not breathing properly, it’s not-”. Bucky was leaning so close that he was able to smell your breath and he froze, it looked like he now wasn’t even breathing.
“What is it Bucky?” Steve demanded, kneeling next to him and reaching over to take your hand but also feel your pulse, which only made his own increase with worry.
Bucky leans closer and smells your mouth again, so close that you tried to move away as his nose nudged your lips. “What did you eat?” Bucky asked in a tone that forced your eyes to open with concern.
“Huh? Um just my soup”, you say whilst blinking quickly as he still wouldn’t come into focus.
“Soup? Where is it? Where’s the container?” before you could answer, he was on his feet and running into the kitchen as Steve continued to demand answers from his boyfriend, his hand now moving from your wrist to directly over your heart, continuing to count the beats.
Bucky cursed so violently that it actually made you shrink into the cushions but the movement only made you cough more and chest tighten as you struggled to breathe. He returned to the room, his face a deathly white and green shade as he uttered just one word: “Hemlock”.
There was just one brief second where not a body in the room breathed or even moved, one single second to process the poison that Bucky had spoken, the planet that he only knew about because of his time as the Winter Soldier and using it on his target. The poison that he could now smell on your breath, that originated from your container of soup.
It was Sam to speak first, Sam to snap the two men out of their frozen states as he gave the orders from Doctor Banner who had heard the word over the phone. “We need to get her to a hospital right now”.
Steve picked you up, and his entire body began to tremble with adrenaline and fear as no one even stopped to properly dress for the snow outside, only putting their shoes on before rushing to the car. Sam thankfully was able to use the adrenaline to remain headstrong as he climbed into the driver’s side of the car so that Steve and Bucky could both hold you in the back seats and try and keep you awake.
You were lying with your head in Steve’s lap with your body lying across Bucky’s as they clamped their arms around you as makeshift seatbelts. You had heard the word that Bucky had said and even though you knew what it was, you didn’t want to believe it, even as you continued to feel worse. “It’s not poison, it’s just soup”.
However, those words triggered something within your throat and once more you were coughing so hard that you thought you were going to vomit and cringed as metallic warmth filled your mouth and leaked out of the corner of your lips.
You slumped onto Steve and Bucky, head lulling back but Steve was quick to grab your face, tapping it and forcing you to stay awake, “Baby don’t go to sleep! Please stay awake for me! Stay with us, we’ll be at the hospital soon, I promise”.
You were scared, even though you were half-conscious, you were terrified now realising the severity of the situation, knowing that you were coughing up blood which was now soaking the front of Steve’s shirt and hearing how panicked your boyfriends were only made it worse. Through all the scary, dangerous times in your life, they always remained calm and in control but now they were both frantic and frightened. 
As all three men continued to plead with you to stay awake, you forced yourself to open your eyes, only allowing yourself the luxury of blinking occasionally as you kept looking into Steve’s ocean-blue eyes. With his body and face so close to yours, you used him to ground you in the situation, trying to copy his breathing which had slowed since you’d opened your eyes; ignoring the pain from the breaths and resisting the urges to cough even though blood continued to fill your mouth.
“Am I going to die?” you whisper, not being able to ignore the questions now in the back of your mind anymore.
Steve’s breath hitched for a second before he tried to confidently whisper, “No, you’re not going to die”.
You didn’t believe him, especially as the trip to the hospital was delayed by the snow, every second feeling like it could be your worse, you didn’t want it to end like this.
“I love you.”
“You’re going to be ok, just keep looking at Steve, keep breathing”, Bucky pleaded, squeezing your freezing cold hand.
“Please, just say it back”, your voice was hardly audible anymore as your mouth was so full of blood.
“Stop talking and save your energy for when you’re feeling better”, Bucky tried to keep his composure but you knew he was close to snapping.
Your breaths were wet and laboured, wheezing so violently it rattled and echoed around the car but you still managed to plead, “Say it back-”.
“I love you, I love you so fucking much, please don’t leave me, baby”. Steve snapped first, his eyes were wide, fearful and yet beautiful with how stark the blue was as his eyes filled with tears, leaking down his cheek and into his beard.
You were thankful, for both of them, for everything and you wish you could have told them, wishing that you could have heard Bucky’s own declaration of love and adoration for you but the pounding of your heartbeat became so loud in your head that you couldn’t hear anything anymore.
But you continued to hold on, never once looking away from those pretty eyes of Steve’s as Sam finally screeched to a halt outside of the hospital. Once more, Steve carried you and there was a flurry of people in different coloured scrubs suddenly surrounding you as you were placed onto a cold bed.
One moment you were staring into Steve’s eyes and the next you were looking up at a stranger and the comfort you’d once felt, the thing that was grounding you to life was now gone and you couldn’t find him again, no matter how much you moved on the bed, even as the strangers poked and prodded at your body until you couldn’t deal with it anymore and finally closed your eyes.
Do you ever have those naps where you wake up and forget where you are, or what time or day it is? That was currently how you felt except the added sensation of floating encompassed your body as well. The only sort of normality felt throughout your body was a cool feminine hand stroking across your temple in a soothing, repetitive manner.
Your toes wiggled firstly and then your eyes behind your eyelids and even though you knew who was stroking your forehead, you still croakily asked, “Steve? Bucky?”
“It’s just me Sugar” Natasha sounded calm and peaceful as her fingers didn’t stop with their soothing motions. “The boys are going to be so pissed that you’re awake before they’ve got back”.
You huff and dared to open your eyes, grunting at the brightness of the room but thankfully your eyes adjusted and only one, still, Natasha smiled down at you. Seeing that you weren’t going to vomit or freak out, Natasha sat back in her chair, moving to hold onto your hand to give you some comfort. “You gave us a real scare”.
You thought back to everything that happened, some of it was a blur but most of it still played through your mind like a horror movie that you couldn’t look away from or escape. “Was I really poisoned?”
There was one thing that you appreciated about Natasha and that was her blunt honesty, not one to ever sugarcoat her words, “You were”.
“But… But how? I mean… the soup, Rafael, he wouldn’t-”. You stopped yourself talking, trying to envision all the interactions you’d had with him but only one thing repeated through your thoughts: Don’t trust anyone. That was one of the first rules Steve had taught you. “I don’t understand why? He seemed so nice to me, is his name even Rafael? Was everything a lie?”
“That’s what they’re just finding out. Apparently, the friend of a friend rouse was made up including his credentials, usually, our background checks are very thorough but he had some help to slip through the cracks”.
“Do you know what help he had? Who it was, I mean?”
Natasha for once seemed to think before she spoke which unnerved you, knowing that whoever’s name she spoke next wouldn’t be good news.
The monitor displaying your heartbeat began to beep as it increased with the dread that was settling through your body.
“All signs are currently pointing to Pierce”.
Your eyes closed as you tried to remember how to breathe. You knew about Alexander Pierce. Everyone did. He was ruthless and had plenty of finances and power to pay for his success but not only this, he had been one of the top employees of Hydra and usually in charge of the Winter Soldier. So yes, you all knew a lot about Alexander Pierce and his name was one to send fear through any of those involved in the Rogers mafia, even Steve.
As you opened your eyes again to look at Natasha, you could tell she wanted to tell you more but was holding the information to not panic you further but you needed to know. “Please just tell me whatever it is you’re not telling me”.
“We think he paid this guy to come and spy on Steve and Bbucky and it seems he put his sights on you. Specifically.. Because you’re their biggest weakness and it seemed like everyone knows that”.
Your face warmed with fear and anger, as fear prickled the corner of your eyes, “So what, now I’m not even safe in my own home?”
“That’s not-” Tasha began to lean forward in her seat but another voice cut her off.
“No, you weren’t safe in your own home”. Steve stood at your hospital room door, dressed casually in a black shirt and jeans, looking nothing out of the ordinary but his face was wrath of calm and anger. Your eyes snapped from him to Bucky who had looked just as serious but as your eyes connected with his, the hard lines of his face smoothed out into a weak smile.
The two of them step into the room as Natasha stands, informing everyone that she’d give us some space and guard the door.
You’re trying desperately to keep the tears at bay, to keep them from slipping and cascading down your cheeks, not wanting your boyfriends to feel any more guilt but as you took a deep breath in, a sob erupts through you and you can’t keep the emotions back anymore.
You attempted to hide your face with your hands, even with the added difficulty of having tubes and wires attached to the backs of your hands and the tips of your fingers. The realities of everything that had happened began to destroy any hope that you had. You’d nearly died, in your own home where you were supposed to be most safe.
Steve and Bucky sat on either side of your hospital bed, moving silently as they always did and with careful ease, gently took a hand each and pried them away from your face, stroking away any tears that continued to escape.
“I’m sorry, I just- I don’t know… It’s a lot”, you tried to give reason for your crying, even though it was unnecessary. Bucky tilted your face towards him, his voice was so soft and caring that it nearly made you sob with how careful he was being with you, “Don’t apologise for crying, I tell you this all the time, Doll”.
You offered him a wet giggle, taking a few deep breaths before rambling on with your anxiety, “I bet I look like a right mess right now, I don’t even know how long I’ve been asleep for”.
They let you calm yourself down before Steve praises with his low captivating voice, “You always look beautiful, no matter how much snot is on your face”. He smiles as he manages to make you laugh before he turned serious, “It’s been 5 days, baby”.
Your face drops, “5… I’ve been asleep for 5 days?!”
“You passed out when we arrived and when they could finally stop the bleeding you-”
“Bleeding?” you questioned, remembering you were bleeding from the mouth but it didn’t seem like that much.
“The poison you’d ingested that day was a higher dose and caused internal bleeding. After they were able to stabilise you, they needed to detox you from the poison and make sure your body was healing so it was safe to keep you asleep”.
You tried to process everything that Steve had told you, it felt confusing for you to have been through so much and yet feel such little pain in your body.
As if reading your mind, Bucky once again captivated your attention as he asked, “How are you feeling? Are you in pain?”
“No I’m not in any pain but I feel wrong like my body is floating in the water or something”.
“That might be due to the medications that they’ve got you on, they’re pretty strong Sweetheart”, his pet name helped to calm your disorientated mind, clinging on to the familiarity and focusing on the way both of their hands were holding yours and stroking tiny circles in your skin,
“Did you get the answers you wanted, from Rafael, or whatever his name is”.
Steve and Bucky shared a glance between each other but Steve decided to be the one to answer. “We got the answers, it was as Nat was explaining. Pierce wanted someone in the gang, spying and getting as close to us as possible and I guess they somehow managed to weasel their way in and tried to succeed with their plan to hit our weak spot”.
You took a deep breath to try and reduce the rising anxiety in the pit of your stomach before asking tentatively, “So what happens now? With Pierce I mean.”
“That’s a problem for another time, just need you to get better first”, Bucky interjected, lifting your hand to kiss the few fingers that were attached with clips or wires.
You tried to smile at him, wanting him to know how much you appreciate him but the feeling never met your eyes and this seemed to twist something in Steve and Bucky. Both of their demeanours changed, no longer were you looking at just your boyfriends but also the mafia boss and his second in command, mixing business with family.
Bucky began talking first, tone strong and husky, “This isn’t something we are taking likely. Sam’s already spent the last day and a half revisiting everyone’s past, making sure there are no other moles that have slipped through the cracks. No new faces are allowed anywhere near our home or you.”
As he spoke, you managed sure to nod your head and try to squeeze his hand in understanding. Steve shifted in his chair, capturing your attention as he continued the discussion. “You are safe and you should have been safe but we let you down, you were vulnerable when we weren’t there to protect you like we promised we would. We let you down, we broke our promise, we could understand if you didn’t want-”.
“Whatever you’re about to say you better forget about it right now”, you say sternly, heartbeat beginning to race on the monitor again as Steve’s mouth shut quickly with a snap. “The idea of being your weakness has always frightened me but, I could also be your greatest strength. I mean - Look at what you’ve been going just to protect the house, to protect me. I know you feel like you’ve let me down but I don’t feel let down in any way. Yes, of course, what’s happened is scary, especially in our home but I doubt it’ll ever happen again. They can try and tear us apart, they can try, but they won’t break us, they can’t break us. We have to remain on top ok? I always feel safe and trusted when I’,m with you both so please, don’t ever feel like I'm not because I am. I’ll always love you both, I’m not going anywhere”.
You sucked in air greedily after your short speech, the building emotions spilling freely everything you truly believed to the men beside you, not wishing for them to ever feel doubt for the relationship or how you felt.
Looking between them both, your heart sank as you noticed Bucky quickly wipe the corner of his eye. “I thought you said no more tears”, you spoke softly whilst trying to wipe away a stray tear.
“That’s before you decided to swoon me with your speech”, he quipped back, the light returning to his eyes once more as you laughed.
“I love you Bucky”.
“I love you, Doll”, standing from his chair, his metal hand stroked over the side of your face as he captured your lips with his, lingering for a few beautiful seconds before sitting back down.
Steve had lifted your hand during your speech and was kissing your palm and you reached out to stroke his beard, “I love you, Steve”.
He too stood, just as Bucky had but he kissed your forehead first, breathing you in for a moment before doing the same against your lips. “I love you too, so much baby”.
As Steve sat back down, your eyes began to feel heavy, all of the strong emotions exhausted you completely. “Will you both be here when I wake up? Not that I’m complaining about Natasha but she doesn’t spoon me like you both do”.
They both chuckle under their breath before Steve promises, “We aren’t going anywhere, sleep, Sweetheart”.
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Hey since your requests are open, could you maybe draw Hal? Doing anything, I don't really care what (only if you want)
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day 96
YES i actually got 2 thinking about hal today thanks to this post (and my tags even passed peer review yippee thank u) ANYWAY. in addition to all of that. I HAVE ALWAYS THOUGHT he and aradia would be friends.
ok i wrote all this out and it got long and kinda rambly bc im tired so im putting it under a cut lmao HALRADIA FRIENDSHIP RANT IN THE READMORE
i think there would be.... maybe a little tension given that aradia eventually ended up in Her Own Flesh And Blood Body and hal would presumably not have that option?
but overall i think after the way her friends treated her as a robot, and the experience of going from experiencing life as a living breathing organic person to a bodiless entity to HAVING a body but that body not being the same as the one you remember.... idk! it's like EXTREMELY EXTREMELY SPECIFIC AND MORE THAN A LITTLE TRAUMATIC and they could share it with each other!! how fucking lovely is that.
not to mention they both kind of have a history with equius?? (assuming this is post arquiusprite in some way. i certainly have an extremely self-indulgent "everyone lives" au for this scenario where they're able to safely separate into their pre-sprite components and then hal and aradia become buds.)
REGARDLESS i think it would be interesting for hal (who has ostensibly nothing but positive shit to say about his connection to equius) and aradia (who has some truly fucked things to say about her experiences with equius) to Talk Through All That.
not 2 mention the parallels that can be drawn between dirk/hal's perception of their relationship with jake being this kind of... Manipulative Pining Weirdness, and aradia being on the other side of somebody else's Manipulative Pining Weirdness and sharing that perspective without even knowing about all of that dirkjake backstory OUGH im tellin u it is all a very complex and wonderful scenario to consider and like, im not even much of an alpha kid aficionado tbh. hal experts chime in on the comments i know youre out there and i wanna hear your takes.
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suguru-getos · 7 months
Text
୨・┈﹕✦﹕ Kinktober Day 10﹕✦﹕┈・୧
gojo satoru x f!reader -> hate sex
event masterlist
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summary: you were the second strongest sorcerer to exist, always having tosses and turns against gojo satoru until the latter just sees you losing yourself to powers a little and decides to transform your ‘pulling each other’s leg’ relationship into something more.
warnings: roasting, both us and satoru are just talking shit about each other. <3 semi-public sex, talking about curses and cursed energy, implied degradation. dub!con-> consentual but not specifically talked about. lemme know if i missed anything (not beta’d we die like suguru) :(
a/n: guys i got carried awayyyyy lmaooo 😭 i was too busy giving this a build up tbh i wanted to make this a chapterwise slow burn story instead so i wasnt even wanting to let them fuck kekeke 🤭 i hope yall enjoy it mwah 💋
there was one thing which had been thoroughly consistent in your career as a sorcerer, which was satoru gojo’s intervention. despite trying your hardest, he would manifest himself near you in some form or the other. it also made sense since he was basically the god of the sorcerer community with powers and roots of his clan spreading across. the solo head of the gojo family, their fortunes, the strongest, arrogant — pathetically cocky man that lumes his presence near you more times than you’d like it to.
“the brat has eaten a finger, i don’t see the point of not exorcising and killing him.” one of the higher ups commented in the meeting where all the sorcerers were invited, even the scarce special grades. “i don’t see why he should be killed? sukuna’s vessel is something we can take advantage of. we can ensure the curse dies when he has swallowed all of the fingers.” gojo commented back, it was not something anyone could deny or go against. his tone was a threat enough.
you could agree to this, but not having tried something like this makes you antsy. “and who will take responsibility?” you raised a brow. glancing at the blind-folded man who was smirking with ease. “why me of course. unless— you wanna be a disappointment and try this yourself.”
in the jujutsu community, you were a well established prodigy, second to only gojo satoru. stronger than yuuta, stronger than any of them. but still— ‘second to gojo satoru’ oh well, that comment had a hard burn. you wouldn’t back down either.
“nah, being a nanny suits you. i haven’t forgotten the brat from the zenin clan after all.” gojo hated when anyone brought up what megumi’s fate could be… but you couldn’t care less. that’d shut him up.
“come on, don’t be like that y/n chan! you don’t have an ounce of motherly instincts. do the world a favor and don’t have kids.” he chuckled, murmuring under his breath. “not that you’d get a chance to with a face like that.”
the people in the meeting were stunned, they were usually quite used to the fact that you and satoru throw jabs at each other at any moment necessary. “do us a favor too. stop making any woman you see a mother and tone the thirst down? the last thing i wanna see is more of you because you couldn’t keep it in your pants.”
“SILENCE!” the higher ups roared, and satoru giggled, leaning back against the wall. this could continue down further. but this isn’t the right time. you rolled your eyes again. ah well, if he is willing to take the responsibility it is all good.
when the meeting ended, you were the first one to leave. meetings with the higher ups were always draining. more than the actual curses. your powers were the complete opposite of satoru. you could absorb curse energies. like a black hole. radiating them back when needed. that made you go the through insurmountable negativity but it was powerful nonetheless. gojo’s infinity could also pose no problems for you to break into. but satoru gojo had infinite curse energy and you were a sponge. interesting…
“why are your panties in a twist?” satoru asked you, looming in front of you too close. “personal space?” you scoffed, leaning back. “awh, pErSoNaL sPaCe” satoru chuckles, “don’t tell me you really think i don’t see through your false pretentious ass.” he leaned in again, ugh— shameless.
“the problem with you is you think it’s impossible for women to not fall over your dick.” you smiled back, a sarcastic, annoyed smile. “well, it is impossible —” he shrugs, as if it was a matter of fact thing.
you are not dumb, you admit that he is ethereal. he is beautiful & perhaps the prettiest man ever. you’re also too prideful to say it to his face, ever. satoru— does the opposite, he finds you so pretty he can’t act right around you. so he irritates you for your attention.
things went by a swing when you suddenly got a call from ichiji. your conversation with him left discontinued. you were busy with missions & he was busy, mentoring yuuji, megumi & nobara. you knew that there are new first years in tokyo university & the vessel was one of them. gakuganji from kyoto tech: where you worked and reported, asked you to go have a glance, check up on the first years.
you entered the university of jujutsu tokyo, walking towards the ground where maki, panda and the kids were there. you knew satoru was nearby, his curse energy presence is loud & clear. perhaps as a silent way of keeping threats off the campus. “y/n san!” maki smirked, walking towards you and launching the exact attack that you taught her, you smiled, proud. “you have perfected it! wow!”
“salmon.” inumaki hummed, while nobara & yuuji curiously asked megumi about you.
yuuji: who’s she? she’s pretty! naa~ fushiguro?
megumi: that’s y/n. a special grade sorcerer. like gojo sensei.
megumi keeps your introduction brief & curt. “what? so cool! she must be insanely strong! is she stronger than gojo sensei?”
“don’t kid me yuuji kun, no one is stronger than me.” gojo’s voice echoed as he came down the stairs. while you were hearing their conversation too, you didn’t deem it necessary to step in. unlike— someone.
“ah, y/n chan! ohayo!” satoru waved his hand at you, grinning. you smiled back, all fake, “ohayo megumi chan! ohayo yuuji, ohayo nobara!” oh god you make him wanna pin you against the nearest wall and devour you until your sass is gone.
yuuji awkwardly whispers to megumi, “they don’t like each other huh?” megumi whispere back, “not one bit.”
“jaa~ why are you here?” satoru asked, raising a brow and tone turning serious, hinting he meant business. “just you know, wanted to meet the students” you smirked, and even though satoru knows exactly who sent you here, he trusts you enough. “o-kkay!” he grins, teleporting beside you and whispering gravely in your ear. “any reason why you look extra pretty today?” the compliment sent shivers down your spine. “maybe you haven’t gotten laid in a while” you roll your eyes, emboldening your response. no way you’ll be acting coy hmph!
the rest of the day passed by in a haze, where you were talking to yaga and satoru & you were being a nuisance to each other. then…. yuuji’s death happened & you got to know higher ups were behind it. insurmountable rage flew through every single artery of yours as disappointment overtook you. the community was rotten & you know satoru would’ve been adversely affected by the news of yuuji’s death. even so, you didn’t want to pose a bothersome presence when he was necessarily plotting a plan to kill the higher ups.
the next thing was the curses attacking the jujutsu grounds, yuuji was alive & there was a baseball tournament satoru sneakily organized. things seemed alright. only you were busy tracking hanami & mahito. of course you were accompanied by nanami throughout.
the next meet with satoru was coincidental, he was assigned a mission in korea along with you, and you both met at the tokyo airport. “areh~ y/n chan!” he beamed, walking towards you where your lack of reaction concerned him. you had been— a menace these last few months. curses had been falling and you have been absorbing their energies. almost negatively affecting you. “eia~ you stink so bad.” satoru commented again, to which you again, were silent. he hated it, your own energy almost has no scent of it’s own. satoru was famous as the strongest, similarly you were renouned as the merciless sorcerer who has no account for any emotion. when you didn’t reply anymore, satoru glared and decided he can touch you. hands clasping your shoulder, “ayo, talk to me right now.”
you looked at him, “oh, you were saying something? i thought there were was a mosquito buzzing around me. my bad.” you are at least mocking him. he smiles at that, “you know i think what you deserve is to release all that suppressed cursed energy you’ve absorbed.” he was meaner this time, because satoru gojo was showing his care. hands gripping your wrist and pulling you close to him. “and you know the only sorcerer who can take it? me.”
that was satoru’s silent confession, and he thought he was very smug showing no emotion whatsoever to you. but his eyes— shouldn’t have worn glasses. “no thanks, i’ll use it on a special grade.” you replied. there was an immediate frown on satoru’s face. why are you wanting to keep it together so bad! oh he hates you so much- he loves you so much.
the flight to korea was quick & you two got out, taking your way to the nearest jujutsu school. as suspected by satoru, you and him were attacked mid way, and just when satoru was about to attack, they came for you. it all made sense, they want the special grades gone. one by one. “now’s a good time! go on- show me what—” before satoru could complete his sentence, you absorbed them one by one. “NO!” he snarled, why are you not letting the absorbed energy out.
you alone, could manage to defeat everything. except you didn’t feel like you anymore. that’s it. satoru has had enough. he stomped towards you, gritting his teeth and holding your face with a single hand, seething at your puckered lips. “stop this, stop being such a fucking bitch to yourself. can’t you see what’s happening?”
the distance between your lips and his was lessening with every sentence he spoke, and before you could reply, satoru leaned in, stealing a rough, angry and demanding kiss. that— took you off guard. eradicating all your haze and bringing you back to reality. “you need to be shown you can’t do everything alone, that you’re weak.” satoru’s words stung, but what he meant was he wanted you to lean onto him.
making you straddle his waist, to which you complied by wrapping your legs around him as he leaned you against the nearest tree. “do i fucking look like someone you’d fuck just like that.” you squirmed, though it is futile because satoru’s eyes calm you down, ground you. “shut up.” is all he said, leaning in and making his way for the sweet spot on your neck, he takes his time, nibbling and giving your sensitive skin hickeys until you awarded him with a delectable moan. “ah, there is it. didn’t know someone like you could have soft spots.” he smirked, feeling the cursed energy absorbed within you sunken and calm.
“i don’t have it for twigs like you.” you replied back, “and i’d never be one of the numbers in your body count.” satoru smiled at that, “damn, you really do consider me characterless don’t you?” oh thank heavens you wore a dress, his hands wandered off and cupped your clothed cunt, your gasps betraying your words along with the wetness in your body.
“you’re soaking, little one.” satoru cooes, “besides, i might look it but i do have some standards. won’t fuck anyone just for the sake of it.” he reiterated, rubbing your clothed clit and soaking in all your expressions.
“not for you…” your retort was awarded with a punishing pinch on your sensitive bundle of nerves. “you’re so fiesty you know that?” satoru grins, “been dreaming about fucking you since years.” satoru’s sudden honesty was taking you off guard.
“then keep dreaming, asshole.” you absent mindedly grinded against his hands, despite what words might say. “oh no, look at a hypocrite.” he unzipped himself, and knows full well, you could back hand him like an actual twig if you could. infinity was off, satoru was not using any force & yet, you didn’t resist.
eyes lingering against his as satoru leaned in, kissing you roughly, shoving his tongue in & making you cry out at the thrust of his cock balls deep. without giving you any time to recover, he started nailing him deep inside you. the way your body shamelessly moaned, satoru couldn’t help but groan. “look at you, all this power, and yet you can’t help but take me like a submissive little bitch in heat huh?”
“strongest sorcerer in the world & that’s what he dreams of? the opportunity to fuck?” you degraded him back, “like a dog in a rut?” you clicked your tongue, giving into a mewl when his thrusts brushed against your g-spot.
your pussy was clamping around his cock for dear life, and by the looks of it, both you and satoru were close. “i won’t let you cum if you don’t release all that pent up, absorbed curse energy.” satoru snarled, fingers jolting down to rub at your puffy clit.
“shut up; i- need to be prepared for the worst.” you replied back, whimpering out.
“it’s killing the essence of you.” satoru said the usual. but he said it in a way that made your eyes soften. it was clear he does not want that. “do it for this mission, i’ll handle everything.” he replied again, thrusts getting sloppier.
what you could do in return was just nod meekly. you still didn’t agree fully but god you wanted to cum. “gonna cum inside you, don’t be a bitch about it, we’d get you a plan b.” you rolled your eyes, not saying anything and clamping out, hands scratching his undercut as you tipped off the edge.
your orgasm raked through your body, making satoru also whine at the clamping, shooting hot ropes of cum into your womb. “that’s it my little special grade.” he panted heavily, seemingly relaxed.
now that you both did end up fucking, you wanted to avoid him. “nuh uh, don’t do that.” satoru gently pulled out, leaning in and kissing your cheek, kissing all over your face until all your doubts melted. oh satoru will make sure you’ll be alright. even if it means fucking the thoughts out of you. and even if it means hovering around you like a lost puppy until you date him.
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Note
Hey can you write something about Joe and reader. Can it be like enemies to fwb. Joe bumps into reader at an event, he teases her about her stalking him and being obsessed with him but the reader just happens to be there because she’s genuinely interested in the event. Maybe after the event Joe decides to invite reader to like a after party kick back in his hotel room or home depending on the setting you choose and thats where they get intimate. Make it super smutty. Reader isnt famous in anyway she works in the field like a data analysis or statistician something other a journalist please, and you could make their rivalry or hatred stem back to college days.
NO BC I LOVE THIS CONCEPT SM YES YES YESSSS and i have the perfect song inspo in mind too :))
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if u think i’m pretty - joe burrow x fem!reader
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requested by: @multiflcs :))
warnings: exes to enemies to ??? (i’m sorry, all i know is complicated relationships tbh), smut (18+ ONLY), oral (fem receiving), joe is a certified munch (y’all can’t tell me otherwise), overstimulation, p in v, unprotected sex, BIG DICK JOE, riding, hair pulling, spitting, mention of unrequited love, praise, implied height difference, no use of y/n, brief cameo from ja’marr
disclaimer: i do not own any people, teams or organizations i included in this story. this is for fictional purposes only. do not copy or claim my work as your own. comments, reblogs and constructive feedback are appreciated!!
a/n: this is my first time writing smut so hopefully you enjoy reading this as much as i loved writing this!
here are resources for supporting palestine and gaza 🇵🇸
masterlist
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i know that you're shitty and you're bad for me but i can't stop thinkin' 'bout it
as you walked the past the red carpet, you made your way inside the event venue, which was packed with celebrities, athletes and other public figures alike. as a data analyst for the 49ers, you were sent to las vegas to work for the super bowl so it was pretty exciting but a bit apprehensive. you’ve been to many football games for the past four years you’ve worked for the nfl but being able to attend the super bowl was a once in a lifetime experience.
through the connections you made throughout your time working, you scored an invite to the fanatics super bowl party this year so of course, you accepted. you look down at your outfit, which was a simple long-sleeved black cocktail dress, making you feel slightly undressed amongst those wearing luxury designers.
you walked through the sea of people that were socializing and talking amongst themselves to the bar area. the bartender, a woman who looked about your age, “hey, i love your dress! what can i get you?” you smiled, “thank you! and can i get a blue lagoon?” she nodded and began to make the drink. a voice behind you said, “you still order that? old habits die hard, i guess.” you scrunch up your face in confusion and look behind you, seeing the nfl’s golden boy, joe burrow, the sight of him making you sigh and roll your eyes.
you met joe during your second year at lsu, you had seen him around campus, went to some of the football games and at parties so you knew of him. you both had a statistics class together and he was failing so he asked you to help tutor him. you helped him gain a better understanding of the subject and was able to get his grade up. as you two spent more time together and got to know other, tension began to develop.
one night, he asked you to come over and hang out after your shift at a local bar and restaurant near campus. you got off of work and you drove over to his place, it seemed like a normal kind of night between friends, which consisted of ordering in food and taking turns to pick out a movie to watch.
this week, it was your turn to pick so you decided on sixteen candles since he never watched it before. you tilted your head up toward him from where you laid on his chest, “why haven’t you seen this before?” he shrugged as he gently ran his fingers through your hair, “just never got around to it.. i think tara tried to show me this other movie and i ended up falling asleep.”
tara mays was the typical popular sorority girl and cheerleader who thrived on daddy’s money in order to keep up with her lifestyle. her and joe would hook up occasionally but she would always want to make things into something more serious between them. however, joe would always have to let her down easy, insisting that she’s a great girl but a relationship wasn’t something he wanted (at least from her).
the words came out of your mouth before you actually thought your words over, “you aren’t seeing each other anymore?” he sighed, “yeah.. i had to be honest with her and myself about letting it continue.” you perk your head up in interest, “how so?” he looked at the television screen as if he was paying attention to the movie, “i told her i was into someone else.”
you nod understandably, “so.. who is this mystery girl? do i know her?” he looked down at you and smiled softly, “i think you know her very well. she likes to read a lot, she even has her own little library in her bedroom which is very cute. i have her coffee order memorized, which is a iced caramel macchiato with two sugars. her fav-”
you leaned forward and cupped his face, giving him a eager and passionate kiss. he quickly reciprocated the kiss, his hands wandering down your back. he moves away from your lips and starts to leave kisses all over your face, which made you laugh and try to wriggle away from him but his strong arms held you in place. he began to kiss down to your neck, then he flips you both over so that he’s on top.
it made you gasp and a breath hitches in the back of your throat at the way he moved you so effortlessly, like you weighed nothing. you opened your legs and wrapped them around his waist so he can feel more comfortable on top of you. he laughs softly at your reaction, “so.. i guess you’re into me too then?” you roll your eyes playfully, “shut up”. then you grab him by his shirt and kiss him deeply, internally praying that nothing ruins this moment.
the bartender handed you your drink and joe slides his card across the bar table to pay for it. you attempt to push it back in his direction, “that isn’t necessary, joe.” he shrugged it off and gently moved your hand away, “don’t worry about it.” the poor woman sensed the tension between the two of you and silently took his card and swiped it through. she asked, “do you want a receipt?”
before you said anything, joe shook his head and she handed him back his card, giving you both a polite smile. you sip your drink, annoyed at the fact that he even bothered to show up and the fact he pulled this kind of gesture knowing you wanted nothing to do with him. his voice broke you out of your thoughts, “you know… a thank you would suffice.” he dawned those famous cartier sunglasses and those stupid jeans he wore throughout college. even if he did look really hot, he was still the same person who broke your heart after graduation years ago.
you scoffed, “like i said, it wasn’t necessary. i could have bought it myself.” he retorted, “well i wanted to so you’re welcome.” your blood started to grow warm and beginning to boil at the way he was acting. he wasn’t the one who had his heart broken so the attitude wasn’t needed. he clears his throat awkwardly, “are you stalking me?” you furrowed your eyebrows at the audacity of that question. the fact he even asked you that made you want to punch him in the nose.
you laughed sarcastically, “are you fucking kidding me?do you seriously think that i came out here for you?” he shrugged, “well, why are you here then? you don’t know anything about football. you’re too obsessed with me to actually pay attention.” you glared daggers at him as the tension between the two of you grew by the second. you get closer to him and throw your drink in his face, causing attention towards you and him as he wipes the remnants of blue lagoon on his jacket sleeve.
the other partygoers stared both of you down, wondering what happened and what led to throwing a drink in the quarterback’s face. you seethe, “fuck you, joe.” you walked out of the party venue, completely embarrassed and anxious about losing your job since this incident involved a prominent player in the league. you made it outside and walked further down the street to a empty bench far away from all the commotion from the party.
you open your purse and dig through to find your pack of cigarettes that you only smoked when you’re stressed or overwhelmed and desperate times call for desperate measures. you take one out of the pack with your pink lighter, igniting it. you take a long drag and inhale into your lungs, letting it calm your nerves as you exhale. your hands were trembling and your brain was going at a million miles per hour when joe sits next to you.
he looks over at you, his eyes softening at the shaken state you were in because of him. you stare at the cars and people walking by, “if you want to get me fired, that’s fine.” he shook his head, “i’m not going to get you fired or anything like that. you had a right to throw that drink in my face.” you took another long drag as you flicked off some of the ash beginning to build up on top.
you both sat in an uncomfortable silence until he decided to break it, “so you work in data analysis now?” you nod, “yes.. i don’t know how long after what just happened.” he sighed, “you aren’t going to get fired. plenty of people in this field have done worse and received no repercussions. i’m going to do everything in my power to make sure you don’t get in trouble for this.”
you shook your head, “you wouldn’t understand, joe. you’re a man, if you were in my shoes, you would face no punishment. but for me, it’s 100% a possibility that i can lose my job because of this. you’re a famous quarterback who i threw a drink in his face while i just work for the team.” you felt yourself growing to panic as you anxiously tap your fingers against your thigh, “it’s supposed to be this huge event and i feel like i would be a liability for that.”
he wrapped his arm around you, not caring about the smell of the cigarette lingering on his clothes. his free hand rubbed against your back soothingly, doing his best to calm you down. he reassured, “if anything comes out about it, i know a few people that can make it go away. as for the team, i’m going to talk to them about it being a misunderstanding.”
you looked over at him, “you don’t have to do that for me.” he said, “i want to, okay? i put you through so much pain and i want to make it up to you.” you didn’t notice a few stray tears flow down your face until joe tilted your chin with his fingers and wiped them away with his thumb. his ocean blue eyes stared deeply into yours, “i am so sorry. for everything.”
you flick the remains of your cigarette to the ground and let out a tearful sigh, “i haven’t loved anyone else since you. i don’t think i’m capable of feeling that way towards anyone.” your confession made his heart drop into his stomach. he remembered that night after you both graduated as if it happened yesterday.
as you slowly kissed him after settling into bed after that eventful day, you whisper against his lips, “i love you.” those three words made him stop kissing you. while you two had been dating for almost 6 months, he had no idea if he was ready to say it yet. while he was the #1 draft pick for the cincinnati bengals, you were able to obtain an internship for the denver broncos, which was going to 17 hours away from him.
you noticed his lips stopped moving against yours, you looked at him with concern. “are you okay, baby?” he let out a shaky sigh, “i don’t know if i’m ready for this.” you asked, “what do you mean?” he continued, “you’re going to be all the way in colorado while i’m in ohio. how are we going to make this work if i won’t be able to see you?”
you looked at him, taken aback. “well, we can always facetime and we can visit each other whenever we can.” he shook his head, “we’ll literally go from seeing each other every day to barely seeing each other at all. do you have any idea how hard that is for me?” you rubbed your face, feeling the skin in order to not shut down.
you bite back, “it’s going to be hard for me too! it’s not just about you, joe. we both have our own careers we need to focus on but it doesn’t mean that i don’t love you.” he gets out of your bed and grabs his backpack off your chair, packing up his clothes. “where are you going?” he opened up the drawer you cleared for him whenever he would spend the night with you, shoving whatever clothes that he can fit into the bag.
“i just need space. i’m just going to go back to my place for tonight.” you get up out of bed, standing in front of the dresser so he wouldn’t just leave. “we need to talk about this, joe.” he sighed, “what do you want me to say? that long distance relationships don’t last no matter how much we’d try? get realistic and stop romanticizing this.”
your voice cracks and eyes well up with tears, “so that’s just it then? you don’t want to be with me anymore?” he shrugged, “i really don’t see any other solution.” you nodded meekly, finally moving out of his way. “just get your shit and go.”
you leaned closer to him, burying your face into his neck. he wrapped his arms around you, inhaling his cologne, noticing it was the one you gave him for his birthday. he kissed your forehead gently, “we’re going to figure this out, okay?” you nod and pull away from his embrace, wanting to get a better look at him. he still had the same haircut from college and his cartier glasses were off, the streetlight capturing how beautiful his eyes are.
he stared back at you in awe, he still thought of you as the most beautiful woman he ever laid eyes on. he moved a couple strands of hair out of your face, tucking it behind your ear, the gesture making you melt like putty in his hands. without a second thought, he leaned in and softly pressed his lips against yours, suddenly pulling away incase he misread any signals.
“i’m sor-“ you cut him off by kissing him passionately, your hand finding its home in the back of his head, running through his dirty blonde hair. while your other hand wandered under his plain white t-shirt, feeling his warm body against your manicured fingertips. he wrapped his arm around your waist while his free hand groping your left breast over your dress causing you to moan into the kiss, slipping his tongue inside your mouth.
his hand moves down to your plush thighs, giving them both a firm but gentle squeeze. his lips move away from yours, kissing down your jaw to your neck. your hand moves back to his hair, giving the roots a gentle squeeze, he lets out a breathy groan against you. his breath tickles your skin softly, his lips finding the spot on your neck that makes your squirm. he sucks against your sensitive skin causing you to mewl at the feeling of him sucking and biting your neck, leaving a bruise that you’re going to need to cover up later on.
he detached his lips from your neck to admire his work, lightly kissing the hickey he left on you, which made you wince. you both smile softly, taking in what just happened and how much you’ve missed each other. he asks, “do you want to head back to my hotel or yours?” you shrug, “it doesn’t matter to me.” he nods, “okay, we’re going to mine then.” he sat up, holding his hand out for you to take.
you hold his hand, allowing him to help you up from the bench and intertwining both of your fingers together. he said, “my hotel isn’t too far from here so it won’t be too long.” you nod, standing up on your toes and kissing his cheek. he blushed softly, wrapping his arm around you and pulling you closer to him as you walk to his hotel room.
as you walk closer to where he was staying, you began to slow down next to him as your feet began to grow tired in the heels you were wearing. he looked at you concerned about you slowing down, “is everything okay?” you nodded, “yeah, it’s just that my feet were starting to hurt.”
he squatted down onto the ground near you, he looked up and asked, “can you lift your foot up really quick?” you nodded, lifting your foot up off the ground for him as he held it delicately. he unhooked the heels clasp around your ankle and gently took off the heel for you. you lifted your other foot off the ground for him and he did the same thing.
he held both of your heels for you as he got up off the ground, dusting the dirt off his jeans. he asked, “do your feet feel better?” you smiled softly and nodded, “they do. thank you.” he smiled back and leaned down, capturing your lips in a sweet kiss. “you’re welcome, baby.” you laugh softly, “baby? are you getting all soft on me, burrow?”
he rolled his eyes playfully, “only for you.” he interlocked his fingers with yours, kissing your hand softly and leading the way back to his hotel. as you both walked through the lobby and inside the elevator, he pressed the fourth floor button and turned you over to face him as the elevator doors closed. he leaned down once more, kissing your lips once again, cupping your face gently in his hands.
you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer to you as the kiss grows more intense when the elevator opens, signaling that you made it on the fourth floor. he grabs your hand and hurriedly pulls you outside the elevator and leads you down the hallway to his room. as you reach the outside of his door, he pulls the keycard out of his pocket as you lean closer to him and teasingly kiss his neck.
he shudders as he puts the card into the slot, “fuck, don’t tease me.” you smiled against his neck, “or what?” the light on the door turned green and he immediately opened it, pulling you inside. he grabbed the “do not disturb” sign and set on the door outside the room, shutting it behind him and locking it.
you set your purse on the desk and he threw your heels to the floor near the nightstand, lightly grabbing your wrist to get you to look at him. he feverishly kisses you as if his life depended on it, his teeth clashing against your own. you managed to slip your tongue into his mouth as his hands explored your body over your dress. he managed to say through kisses, “take this off.”
you nodded eagerly as he sits down on the corner of the bed, wanting to watch you undress for him. you slowly took off your dress, revealing your matching laced black lingerie set underneath. he took off his jacket and his necklaces as you undressed for him, throwing his jacket to the floor and setting his necklaces on the nightstand then turning over to face you again.
you decided to straddle his lap, pulling him into a needy kiss as his hands wander your body to the back of your bra. “can i take this off?” you smiled against his lips and nodded, “of course, baby.” his hands unhooked your bra, letting it fall to the floor as he looked at your breasts for the first time in years.
his hands caressed them softly causing you to let out a soft moan into his mouth. he looked down at them, his eyes widened slightly at the sight of your pierced nipples. “when did you get this done?” you blushed softly, “like two years ago.. do you like them?” he nodded, his fingers teasing the balled jewelry, making you shudder and whimper.
he takes your breast into his mouth, sucking on your nipple and teasing the jewelry with his tongue. you moaned softly, watching him lick and suck while you run your fingers through his hair. his free hand teases the other one as his mouth moves to it, giving them both the same love and recognition. you whimpered, grinding your hips softly onto his lap.
he detached his mouth from you as his hands held your hips, helping you grind against him and groping your ass. he captured your lips again in a messy kiss, his nose brushing against yours. “i missed you so much.” you whispered against his lips, “i missed you too, baby.” your fingers reach the hem of his t-shirt, him quickly obliging as he pulls it over his head and throwing it to the floor.
he quickly flips you both over, climbing over you and kissing down your neck to your chest. you shudder softly against his lips as he kisses down your stomach to reaching the hem of your panties. his fingers brushed over the damp cloth causing you to whimper softly and open your legs for better access for him. he asked softly, “can i take this off too, pretty girl?”
you nod eagerly, “please take them off.. i need to feel you.” he grabs both sides of your panties as you lift your hips up so he can easily take them off. he pulls them down your legs and reaches your ankles then throwing them to the side. his fingers brush over your wet folds as you mewl softly at the feeling of his fingers against you.
he bit his lip as he teasingly rubbed his fingers against you, “you’re so wet for me.. and i barely did anything. it’s kind of pathetic, baby.” you mewl at his words, not being able to take his teasing any longer. you begged, “please do something, joe. i need you so bad.” without hesitation, he opened your legs a little wider and buried his face between them. he kisses and teases your clit with his tongue causing you to let out a sigh and closing your eyes.
he tapped your inner thigh, “look at me, baby. i want you to watch me.” you opened your eyes and looked down at him as he suckled your clit into his mouth. you run his fingers through his hair and mewl loudly at the feeling of him slipping his tongue inside of you. he devoured you as if he hadn’t eaten in days, you moaned in satisfaction and contorting your face in pleasure as you watch him eat you out.
his tongue lapped against your wet cunt as you push his face closer into you, grinding against his tongue as if you’re riding him. he pulled your legs onto his shoulders as your thighs clench against his head, you whimper and grip his hair tightly causing him to moan as he kisses and laps up your wet arousal. the pit building in your stomach began to boil over until you’re writhing against his face. and arching your back.
he knew you were growing closer to your orgasm as your movements started moving sloppily against him. he asked, “you want to cum, baby?” he slipped his tongue inside you once more. you nodded, “yes, i’m so fucking close!” he urged, “beg for it. tell me how much you missed me.” you whimpered, “i missed you so much, joe. no one can make me feel as good as you.”
he smirked against you, “good girl. cum for me, baby. cum on my face.” you came undone at his words and the feeling of his tongue flicking against your clit. you moaned in ecstasy as your legs shook against his face as he continued you to guide you through your orgasm. you gasp and whine as the overwhelming sensation of his tongue curling inside you.
you whimpered, “okay, you can get off. please.” he moved his tongue out of you, his chin and mouth glistening with your juices. he pressed a few chaste kisses in your inner thighs before he finally moved out of between your legs. he leaned up closer to you, your legs wrap around his waist, his hard cock straining in his jeans and rubbing against your inner thigh.
he kisses you feverishly, slipping his tongue in your mouth. tongues and teeth clash against each other as the neediness between the two of you grew more intense. he pulls away from you and lightly pecks your lips, “you taste better than i remembered.” you blush, “you remembered what i taste like?”
he nods, “of course i do. you haven’t left on my mind since i left that night.” you sat up, kissing him softly as your hand reaches down and teases through his jeans by caressing your hand against him. he groans softly, shuddering at the feeling of your soft hand on the outside of his jeans. “you can take it out if you want. i don’t think i’ll last long if you keep rubbing me like that.”
you giggle lightly, “you got that hard from eating me out?” he said, “i got hard the moment i saw you again if you want me to be honest.” you peck his lips softly, “you’re so fucking cute.” your hand moved to the zipper of his jeans, unzipping and unbuttoning them. he pulled his jeans down to his ankles, kicking them off to the side, revealing his black calvin klein boxers.
you helped pull his boxers down, revealing his girthy, rock hard cock slapping against his abdomen as you free him from his boxers. you stroke it softly, your thumb feeling the slit of his tip as he lets out a sigh. “fuck, i missed your hands on me.” you asked, “oh yeah?” he nodded, “if you keep doing that, this is going to be over pretty quickly.” you laughed softly and moved your hand off him.
he rubbed his cock over your folds, making you both groan and whimper in pleasure. “if it hurts, i’ll stop, okay?” you nod feverishly, bucking your hips to match his movements. he slipped the tip of his cock inside of you, letting you slowly adjust to his size and so he can feel how warm and tight you are. you both let out a breathy moan, he slipped more of him inside you causing you to wince and him to groan softly. “fuck, i missed you.”
his thrusts were teasingly slow as he let you adjust to his size again since it was so long since he’s been inside you. you whimpered, “fuck me, joe.. please”. he moved his hips, thrusting a little faster causing you to moan softly in his ear. his lips nipped and sucked on your collarbone as you buck your hips into his to match his thrusts. he asked teasingly, “do you like that, baby?”
you nodded eagerly, “fuck me harder… i need it so bad.” he moved your legs over his shoulders as he thrusted deeper inside you. your knees were against your chest as he fucked you harder, the sounds of his skin slapping against yours and both of your moans filled the hotel room. both of you were lost in each other until the sound of his phone rang from the pocket of his jeans.
he groaned annoyingly at the dreaded sound ruining the mood as he moved out of you, causing you to whimper at the loss of contact. he quickly grabbed his jeans off the floor and took his phone out of his back pocket, swiping to answer it and holding it against his ear. “yeah?” he smiled softly down at you as his hands groped at your breast, rubbing his thumb over your pierced nipple.
he sighed, “no, dude, i left the party over an hour ago. what happened?” you mouthed, “do you want to stop?” he shrugged, listening to whatever ja’marr is asking him about. “no, i caught up with an old friend and we’re back at my hotel.” you smiled softly as you knew you were the old friend he was referring to. he laughed softly, “no, i’ll tell you about it later..” you grew more comfortable onto the bed as he finished up his phone conversation. “okay i’ll text you later.. get back safe.”
he ended the call and pulled you closer to the edge of the bed, leaning down and kissing you hungrily. he asked softly, “do you want to keep going?” you nodded, “yes please.” he laughed softly, “aww, look at you using your manners.” he kissed the crook of your neck then pecked your lips, “such a sweet girl.” you asked shyly, “can i ride you?”
he nodded eagerly, lying down on the bed next to you. you crawled on top of him, kissing his neck teasingly. he lets out a soft sigh, running his fingers through your hair as you find the sensitive part of his skin, sucking and nipping the same way he did on the bench prior. his breath hitches, “fuck, don’t tease, baby.”
you giggled softly, detaching your lips from his neck before giving the forming bruise a small kiss, hearing a wince from him. you got up onto the bed, hovering over his cock while you line him up with your entrance. you sink down onto his length, hearing shudders and gasps from the both of you.
you start to roll your hips, his hands going straight to your hips helping guide your movements against his body. you whimper and moan as you close your eyes and throw your head back in pleasure. his hand reaching up and groping your tit as you ride him to oblivion. you had plenty of hookups after you and joe broke up but no one made you feel so full and satisfied you the way he did.
he laid up further, pulling you closer to him as he kisses you passionately. his hands gripped against your hips, probably leaving tiny bruises for you to wake up to the next morning. sweat began forming and dripping down from both of your foreheads as your legs started getting weaker. his hand giving your thigh a gentle squeeze as your movements began to slow.
the heat in your stomach was rising as you continued to move against him. his hands wandered and caressed your body on top of him. he cupped your face softly and lowly whispered, “open your mouth, baby.” you obeyed, sticking your tongue out for him as he spit in your mouth. you whimpered softly as you swallowed his spit causing him to groan at the sight of you. “you’re such a good girl.”
his words push you closer to the edge of your climax as you push through the soreness in your legs. your walls began to tighten around him causing him to let out a soft moan. you moaned, “i’m so close.” he grunted, “fuck, i am too. cum for me, baby. i want to feel you around me.” you loudly gasped, burying your face in his sweaty shoulder, biting down to muffle your screams. the feeling of your teeth digging into his skin and your walls clenching his length made groan and shudder as he fills you up with his cum.
you pull him into a slow, needy kiss as you both were steadily coming down from what just occurred. you get off of his lap, legs shaking from either your orgasm or how long you were using them for. you get up from bed and attempt to gather your clothes to get dressed when joe asks, “what are you doing?” you eyed him with confusion, “getting ready to leave?” he shook his head, “come lay down with me.”
you found yourself crawling back into bed with him before thinking it over, you were used to leaving after a hook up so him asking you to spend the night was something that you hadn’t heard in a long time. you cuddled into his chest as he pulls you closer to him, wrapping his arms around you, your leg draping against his hips. what you didn’t know was that joe rarely dated after you two broke up. he went on a few dates but always found himself thinking of you to fully pursue anything.
you felt yourself beginning to doze off but was fighting to stay awake so you can be in the moment with him longer. he whispered in your ear, “you can go to sleep.. i’ll be here when you wake up, okay?” you nodded sleepily as you finally shut your eyes, softly snoring on his chest. he gently moved your hair out of your face and kissed the top of your head as he watched you peacefully sleep. he never thought you’d actually end up in his arms again..
but now that you’re here with him, he finally felt he was whole again. his only regret was that it took him so long to realize that he loved you after you two broke up and you moved away.. he cooed softly in your ear as you slept, “i love you.” he gave you a kiss on your forehead before drifting off to sleep, being happy that you were back in his arms again.
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shkudss · 1 year
Text
Weakened by Eywa Pt. 2
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6
Masterlist
Summary: Ao'nung finally realizes that his actions have consequences
Warnings: curse words, bullying, mental breakdown, English isn't my first language
Author's note: tbh I didn't plan it to be longer than 2 parts, but now I think it'll be about 4-5 part (but I'm not sure lol). Anyways, I hope you will like it!
Yawntutsyip - darling, little loved one
Yaymak - foolish, ignorant
Yayo - bird
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When Neytiri and Jake saw you in a complete mess on Neteyam’s hands, they thought something bad happened with you in the water.
Kiri and Lo’ak explained what happened without hiding any details. Neytiri was so furious that she was ready to take her bow and fight this little ignorant boy. She knew that he was annoying her kids, but didn’t expect it to be as bad as it turned out. On the other hand, there was Jake. He was furious too, he knew that his attitude towards all situations when Ao’nung annoyed his kids caused it. He shouldn’t have told his kids to respect him just because he’s Olo’eyktan’s son. That was his fault.
“Tonowari must know what his son did.” Neytiri was crying like any mother who sees her child in pain. Especially that type of pain which you cannot see. “Ma Jake, tell something! We can’t let that go. My daughter is hurt and only Eywa knows if she’ll be able to heal!”
Jake looked at her and all his kids, who were waiting for his response. Neteyam was still holding you like a baby while you were sleeping. His daughter, his little yayo. He has to protect you.
“I’ll talk to Tonowari.”
“I’ll go with you.” Neytiri wanted to talk to Ronal and say her all this she had to carry inside of her soul since they arrived here.
Jake didn’t want her to come, he knew that she was extremely emotional now. He gave her a look asking if he’s sure it’s the right thing. Neytiri was determined to do that.
“Wait here, take care of your sister.”
***
“I’ll talk to him and he’ll be punished for his actions. I’m really sorry for what happened. I didn’t raise him this way. I hope Y/N will forgive him one day.”
Toniwari and Ronal were in a huge shock when Jake told them what Ao’nung did. The shame Olo’eyktan and his Tsahik felt wasn’t even close to the amount of pain Jake and Neytiri had to carry.
“Don’t ever let him come to my daughter again! If I notice him even thinking about coming to her, I swear I will not control myself.”
“Neytiri...” Jake didn’t want relationship with leader’s family to worsen.
“She’s right. He should stay away from her. I don’t want him to hurt an innocent soul again. I promise, we’ll look after him.” Ronal knew how Neytiri must feel herself now. “I promise as mother to mother. If you need help, tell me.”
Neytiri just nodded, she was still not over her emotions. But she was thankful for this. Ronal was the only one who could understand her at least a little.
***
It’s been two weeks since your breakdown. These two weeks you’ve been taken care by your whole family and you barely walked out of your Marui. You felt like you were dried out. No emotions at all. Jake and Neytiri were extremely worried about your mental state. You barely talked to anyone, even Kiri, and preferred to do things on your own.
Neteyam didn’t even think about keeping your lessons on ilu riding. He tried to catch your interest on other things, but nothing caught your eye. Even Tuk tried to ask you questions to talk just a little. You had no energy to keep the conversation and pay proper attention to your little sister.
“Let’s go find some seashells?” Tuk didn’t give up on you.
“Tuk, I have no strength to do that. I’m tired.” You felt really bad every time you refused Tuk, but you couldn’t help it.
“Neteyam and Lo’ak are hunting, Kiri as usually disappeared. Mom and dad don’t let me do there alone. Please, I need you.” She started whimpering and shaking your hand.
“Okay, okay. But only for 30 minutes.”
“Thank you, I love you! Best sister ever!” Seeing Tuk jumping in happiness and saying those words warmed your heart. You smiled a little at the scene of here trying to find her little bag for seashells.
Once you went out of your house, you squinted because of the sunlight. These two weeks definitely affected you. The warmth of the sun and brightness of azure water reminds you of how you loved Pandora.
Tuk was holding your hand and trying to hurry you up to the shore. It became her hobby since you arrived here. Each in your family has at least one bracelet she made out of shells.
“I’ll sit here, you can go. Call me if you need help.” You were sitting exactly as that day with Kiri. The feeling of light waves surrounding you, calmed you a little. You were watching Tuk swimming and looking for colorful seashells. Sometimes she was distracted by some fish. As you were supervising little sister, you fell deep into thoughts and remembered that day. Sadness you felt all these days became more explicit.
You don’t know how to explain this sadness and why you feel it. You should be angry, offended, but not sad. Ao’nung said horrible things to you, but you’re not angry. Why?
“Oh Great Mother, help me. Let me come over this. I want to be happy again.” You whispered to yourself, feeling the tear falling to the water.
“Y/N…?”
Him.
You feel nervousness raising up in your body. Eywa must be testing you. You’re afraid to turn your head to Ao’nung.
“Please, don’t do this to me again. I can’t bear it anymore.” Your voice was trembling a little, but it was enough for him to understand your state. Especially, when he finally looked at you. Your eyes were like a glass, but without even a little sparkle.
He was standing about 2 meters away from you to keep distance.
“Y/N, I wanted…”
“What are you doing here?!” Lo’ak was furious, walking briskly towards him.
“Bruh, why are you always here.” You heard Ao’nung mumbling it annoyingly. You didn’t wasn’t really worried about what’s going to happen. Feels like you’re a doll without real emotions.
“You’ve been told you to stay away from Y/N. Are you that yaymak? Do you need us to punch you again to understand it?” Your brother came to him as close as possible and pointed at his chest aggressively. Lo’ak just like Neytiri was ready to fight him.
“I wanted to talk to her… normally.” Ao’nung raised his hands as a sign of peace and tried to stay as calm as possible. Even though his fists were itchy to punch him. “I won’t hurt her”.
“I don’t care. You’ve talked to her already and you see the result. It’s her first time outside since the past two weeks. Don’t make it worse.” Lo’ak lowered his voice so you won’t hear their conversation. You didn’t really care and turned back to keep watching after Tuk. She didn’t notice things happening on the beach, she was involved in her hobby. Her little bag was already full of shells, but she wanted to get more.
“Hey, you finally wanted to get some sun?” In a couple if minutes Lo’ak was sitting next to you. He wasn’t mad anymore.
“No, Tuk asked me to. All of you were too busy to accompany her in finding seashells. I didn’t want to let her down.” You smiled a little, watching your sister smiling as she find another colorful thing.
“But…” you noticed Lo’ak hesitating about something.
“What’s wrong?”
“Never mind. I’m glad you’re finally getting out of Marui. We are forest Na’vis, not Marui Na’vis.” He chuckled a little at his own joke and you couldn’t help but do it too.
Maybe, it’s not that bad.
Thank you, Great Mother.
***
Another two weeks passed. Since that day each member of your family tried to take you outside. Now you go out on your own just to think about your feelings. You are still trying to stay away from water and haven’t swam yet, but you’ve been exploring the little forest that’s actually pretty comfortable. It reminds you of home and you don’t have to hold your breath or ride ilu here.
You can be yourself.
Now you play with fan lizards and even laugh a little. It’s kind of meditation. Spending time in your environment, your home, helps your mental state. Jake says that you shouldn’t go deep into forest and you assure him that you won’t, but sometimes you loose the track of time and forget about your promise. What this happens, Neteyam is always first who goes to find you.
You feel unity with Eywa. It’s your secret, sacred place. You have a little pond here, some fruits growing on the trees and silence. This is your little world free from all worries, free from reality. You fulfill your energy here and nobody interrupts you peace.
You were sitting on the thick branch, involved in making a little bracelet from beads for Tuk. She gifted you a lot of bracelets and necklaces she made. You want to pay her back.
Suddenly your senses catch someone’s presence. Nobody is supposed to find you. It’s afternoon and none of your family should be trying to find you. Leaving all things, you silently stood up and tried to hide behind the tree as Neytiri taught you. You looked behind your shoulder to check who’s that, your knife is ready to serve you.
You heard stranger’s steps coming closer to the tree. You were getting ready to attack, no unnecessary thoughts were in your mind. Just as mom taught you. This is your place, your forest.
Another step and you catch this person, pushing them to a tree and putting a knife to their neck.
“Holy shit!”
You look up. Why is he here?
“Ao’nung? What are you doing here?”
All your strength disappeared the moment you realized who’s standing in front of you. Fear replaced it, slowly taking control over you.
You’re alone, with him.
“No, no, no, Y/N”
You walked back, still holding your knife firmly to protect yourself, but your hands were shaking which made things obvious. You’re just like a little animal who’s afraid but has nothing to do but protect yourself as you can.
“Don’t…”
“Y/N, I wanted to talk to you. Please, let me speak.”
You were afraid to trust him. Because his words hurt you. You’re afraid to hear him speaking to you. But the way he looks at you, his eyes aren’t filled with anger. You take your time, considering his words.
Ao’nung was waiting patiently, he was afraid to do something wrong. Examining your concerned look, he prayed to Eywa for you to trust him. The effort he put to find you and go through this forest without being injured was enormous. Now he understands how hard it is for you to get used to Metkayina’s way of life. He should have thought about it before.
“Don’t come here again.”
And you left, leaving him alone in this forest.
“You are skxawng, Ao’nung.”
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P.S. There wasn't a lot of Aonung and y/n's conversations and I focused more on her recovery and feelings process, but I hope you liked it! Next parts will be more about Aonung and Y/N! Also, i'm not really sure how taglist thing really work, I hope I did it right🫣
Anyways, if you want to be tagged, comment and I'll add you!
Peace, friendship, bubblegum✌🏻💗
Taglist: @elegantkidfansoul @ijwsbdinp
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neet-elite · 2 months
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Don't mind me, just thinking about horny (step)bro Seb who jerks off into my underwear and then dares me to wear it all day, maybe even pulls me aside every few hours and makes me lift my skirt so he can check and make sure I didn't secretly get changed. Even better if he's a bit of a bully about it.
just a short lil drabble. i know you didnt ask for it, but i think doing small writings like these after my absence will help stretch my writing muscles!! hope you don't mind <3
MDNI ♡ Warnings: (step)bro seb, stepcest, incest, psuedo incest, depends on how you wanna read it tbh, implied creampie (obviously), dirty talk
WC: 1095
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"Quit whinin'"
He hadn't meant to sound so sassy with his demands, but it's difficult to deny the throbbing tent in his pants when you merely shiver in response, your legs automatically widening in the seclusion of nature between home and the Saloon. "Just checkin'," he reminds you, faux sweet tone prompting another cute little whimper from your pretty pout that only serves to rile him up some more, panting in the space left between like some sort of dog for you. He's got half a mind to take you right where you tremble, but he knows better than to give his petulant little sister exactly what she wants! No, pretty girls like you deserve some training, right?
"Wanna make sure you're bein' a good girl."
"I am!" you whine oh so sweetly that a rough huff of air forcefully escapes his lungs, like you've winded him; simply by pouting. "Promise, still got em on..."
And he believes you... Only because he's disallowed you from leaving his sight the whole day, constantly forced into petting his fat cock under tables and behind corners because he knows you're telling the truth.
He's just a selfish man at the end of the day. A greedy, perverted, sister diddling man who wants for nothing more than to see your innocent little panties coated in his big brother cum. Just one more time, he tells himself. Just double checking, he thinks, knowing full well that the second he sees your soaked underwear he'll immediately want more. It's just the nature of his relationship with you; fucked up and obsessive to a fault. He hardly feels guilty about it though knowing that you're much the same, provoking him each morning into humping into you like a horny virgin. Disgusting, isn't it? How much he yearns for you, giving in the moment you show a micron of interest in him. Which is why he's being so mean to you right now. You need to learn a lesson: he won't always be so easy for you.
Nevertheless, his hands itch to snake under your skirt, flipping the barely there fabric up for you to instinctively hold, just like he'd taught you. Fingers instantly finding home and cupping your wet cunt, his cock throbbing when he realises he's not sure if you're so wet because of his earlier seed or your own slick drooling from your used hole. Either way, he plays with the wet spot a little. Just to tease, to have you gasping and begging for him to stop in that cute tone of voice you so often use around him now.
Annoying, but different. Still the same high pitched squeals he's used to hearing from you, only now cause by the curl of his fingers; which is infinitely better than when you'd previously whine for him to stop retaliating. You're much sweeter now, aren't you? More pliable, submitting under his bullying touch. Just how he likes you.
He trails his fingers up your slit, ghosting his touch to leave you shivering for more. So cute, he thinks to himself. Such a sweet little girl, best baby sister he could ever ask for. Especially when he hooks a finger under the waistband of your panties, taking a step closer towards you for a better view as he tugs the fabric towards him.
Peeking down earns you an audible sigh from him, a loving sound. Doting on you from above as his cock pulses against your body, the sickly sweet sight of his cum staining your white panties sheer is better than anything he could imagine, prompting him to bite down on his bottom lip lest he moans out for you in public. It's what you do to him, y'know? The whole naive act you carry yourself with, putty in his hands while he bosses you around; evident from the way you hold your skirt for his viewing pleasure, your knees buckling under his lecherous gaze. And yet still, he wants more.
"Running a lil empty, dont'cha think?" he asks nonchalantly, ignoring the quickening pace of his heart and the thick globs of precum that dribble down his length. Asking as if it were akin to how are you, rather than the lewd fact that he's currently thinking about leaving another load in his sweet sister.
"M-Maybe..." you stutter, his brow lifting to question your unsure response. C'mon, baby... You know better than that.
"I think y'are. Need a lil top up, s'that what you're saying?"
He's not asking now, but it's easier when you meekly agree to his suggestions instead of putting up a fight. What he really means to say is: bend over that tree so big brother can fill you up, baby.
And so when you pause in return, dumb little sister brain surely working overtime due to his harsh treatment of you; not just because of his current manipulation, but also due to fucking you stupid as a loving good morning, he takes the opportunity to turn you around himself. Gentle guidance, pinging your panties back against your soft skin just to revel in the yelp it has you choking on. Framing his actions as favours, as if all you needed right now was his cock inside you to stain the fat of your thighs tacky with cum again.
Because big brother knows best. And big brothers cock is just soooo hard right now, oh, you can feel it, can't you? Pulsing and trembling against your ass when he applies pressure to your lower back, eyes rolling to the back of his skull when you immediately fold in on yourself, arms braced against the tree to allow his hips to easily roll into your backside, like it was natural.
Big brother knows best, especially when he says: "Remember to be quiet, baby. Wouldn't want everyone in town t'know how much you love big brothers cock, do we? Just stand nice and still and let me take care of you, okay? Will fill you up right, promise. S'all this pretty hole was made for, yeah? For me and my cock... Ah, such a dirty girl, begging for my cock like that. Gross little thing, aren't you? Y'need big brother to put you in your place again, right? Need a constant reminder of who you belong to?"
And so on and so forth. Already lining his leaking tip up to your abused little angel cunt to claim again. Determined to have you wear his seed as underwear for the foreseeable future, because he's your big brother. And he knows best.
136 notes · View notes
coolaboutlucy · 4 months
Note
Jealous and possessive abby - not in a toxic or abusive way but maybe you guys went to a party and your ex or some random decided to act up and be crazy and start hitting on you when everyone knows you're hers so she starts getting protective and marking her territory - she never blames you for it but she just wants to remind you who you belong to so she feels better with your consent if course and you find it hot asf
𝙢𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙗𝙚 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙤𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙗𝙧𝙖𝙞𝙣 | 𝙖. 𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙤𝙣
pairing: abby anderson x afab!reader
tags: alcohol consumption, mild language, theres a gross man, abby is possessive (per the request), i think that should be everything???, i still stuck at tagging
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a/n: was lowkey stuck on this prompt bc i don’t remember the last time i did smth like this but also, i procrastinated like, a lot. tbh i don’t rlly ever proofread anything i write i just post it with a hope and a prayer but wtv! i hope yall enjoy this. 🤍😙😙
bodies filled the house you and abby were currently in. the air smelled like alcohol, sweat, and a mixture of cologne and cheap perfume. this wasn’t particularly your scene, but abby wanted to go since one of her friends were hosting the party. you sorta stood on the wall, nursing a cup of.. something abby mixed for you. she wanted to prepare your drink herself. yknow, cause people are weird and like dropping shit in your drink without your knowledge. the screen of your phone illuminates your features softly under the red and purple LED lights. nobody dared to bother you much because everyone knew you were abbys girl. god, she never shuts up about you! but it’s only because she loves you so much. she also did it because she wanted to make your relationship known, and she’d gladly knock the lights out of anyone who dared to approach you cause she didn’t play that game.
the necklace around your neck had her initial on it. she’d gifted it to you during valentines day last year. it glints a little from the light coming from the screen of your phone. you’d been mid sip when some piss drunk man came stumbling over to you. and suddenly your settings app looked interesting as hell! he stops infront of you with a woozy smile and a flushed face from drinking. lowkey, he was like, really ugly. he’s the kind of guy a girl would only fuck in the dark. “what’s a pretty girl like you doing all alone?” he asked as he looked you up and down with obviously lustful eyes. “ah, im.. actually not alone. im here with someone.” you say as you give him an awkward smile and a chuckle. “i don’t see ‘em. why dontcha come with me? we could go back ‘t my place.. maybe order somethin’ to eat.” you politely decline and give him another awkward smile. while trying to ward this man off, you text abby.
“theres some guy over here flirting w/ me, help!!” you text her while trying as much as possible to ignore the man. he was relentless! he just wouldn’t stop talking and making gross comments. you look up from your phone to find your girlfriend pushing her way to you, through the couples grinding against eachother and making out. she smiles as she approaches you, then wrapping her arm around your shoulders. you lean against her. “so, who’re you?” she asks as she looks at the man, then tossing him an icy glare. “who am i? why should i answer you?” the man had a raised eyebrow and he’d been holding a now empty cup. “well, cause you’re hitting on my girl. so you should probably tell me why you’re doing all this.” her voice was low, raspy and a bit threatening. her possessiveness was dumb attractive, and you surely felt a little hot!!! “hah, this is your girl? she’s outta your league, bro. just give ‘er up. ill treat ‘er soo much better.” the man had become bold. abby didn’t like that. “mm.. nah. she’s fine with me. aren’t you, baby?” she asks as she looks at you. you nod with a small, stupid smile on your face. she presses a kiss on your forehead before she looks back at the man.
her touch had lingered on your skin even when you knew she wasn’t touching you. she sits on one of the chairs with a sigh and you sit next to her. “god, people are so disgusting!” abby said as she lets out an exasperated sigh. she hated when people treated you that way. but you just couldn’t seem to forget that voice she spoke in. the raspiness made this sorta electricity shoot through your veins. she was rambling about something, but you’d began listening when she’d been nearly finished speaking “—that shit wasn’t okay, and nobody should be treating my girl like that. i mean, gosh, some people just really can’t take a hint can they? i was so close to punching him just like id done that other guy but i controlled myself. and, ill just say, it isn’t your fault. i just really don’t like that. you don’t deserve that. not at all.” her voice softens towards the end of her sentence as she places her hand on your thigh gently.
your hand finds itself over hers and you smile at her. “sometimes you gotta punch people for ‘em to understand, yknow?” abby says as she looked at you with the same softened gaze. “abby, no, i will absolutely not be punching anyone… that’s what i have you for. and you hit like, waaaaay harder.” you chuckled. “well, maybe i should show you how to hit real hard.” you shrug, and she smiles at you, giving your thigh a gentle squeeze. “how bout we get outta this shithole?” she suggested with a smile. “oh, yeah. let’s go. im literally starving!” the both of you nod as you begin walking off the porch. as you walk to the sidewalk, the guy from earlier comes running and stumbling out of the house. he was after abby. you noticed and alerted her. “oh shit, we’d better run!” she grabs your hand and the both of you run to her car, giggling and looking back at the man (whos running slow as a snail) and forward at her car.
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cure-typhoon · 4 months
Note
please please please talk more about the beta troll’s friendship 🙏
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You have summoned me in my favorite subject: 🎉🎉🎉🎉 FRIENDSHIP!!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉 Take a sit because this is going to be long, so long i may end up dividing into different posts!
Okey so sadly we don't have a lot of info of the full group dynamic besides some clues and what we know is them literally at their worst thinking they we're going to die in a meteor,after a full one month campaign in the game they had won yet was taken from them being chased by an undefeatable enemy that destroyed their planets and probably their lusus too. And at the end three of them going on a rampage and killing the rest of the team
So not the most reliable info of how their normal dynamic as a friendgroup would be, but tbh it could never be "healthy friendgroup" in a human sense because, well, they live in Alternia.
But even in hell, the flower of friendship can blossom, so lets talk about the fucked up friendship between these kids:
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We know little about how their friendship started, contrary with the Beta Kids that we know because of June's birthday presente for Jade arriving in the past to young Jade with her pesterchum and her probably looking at the clouds in Prospit and seeing there the pesterchum of Rose and Dave following suit
Because the Beta Trolls are a much bigger group and we dont really know if they actually celebrate their wriggling days, as none of the trolls mentioned it but it could also be in part because of Karkat's disdain for the celebration or them maybe not knowing because he is a very private kid after all
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Maybe Kanaya was the first troll that befriended all of them, like Jade was and both of them being the assigned Space player of their group and the first ones to wake in Prospit, but i also doubt that considered she didnt went through the birthday gift shenanigan that young Jade went through
So what most likely happened: The trolls who we're closest to eachother (Equius and Vriska, Eridan and Feferi, Aradia and Tavros, Terezi and Vriska* (not totally sure about that one) and maybe Sollux and Aradia/Feferi) befriended eachother first and meet the rest (Karkat, Nepeta, Gamzee, Kanaya) online and just shared their info between eachother.
I honestly wonder who thought of the idea of all sharing their Trollian between eachother, maybe Feferi? maybe it just happened overtime? but what matters right now is the
F R I E N D S H I P
So today we will talk about the underrated friendships between the group
Starting with Aradia and Tavros! Both members of Team Charge, i see very few people talk about them as friends even though they were obviously very close considering they we're part of a Flarp campaign together.
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Both seem to match pretty well personality wise, both adventurous and wanting to have fun in the game, Aradia knows that Tavros picked a hard class for himself yet she still encourages him and tries to cheer him on and advice him in the case of Vriska trying to get under his skin.
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When Vriska starts to surrond him, she tries to communicate with her first, but sadly she and terezi where distracted by Doc Scratch, so he gets paralized
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Side note: After Aradia and Terezi, his third option for asking for help is Karkat, which is...interesting, they dont talk a lot but when they do its Tavros trying to get advice/help from him (2 out of 3 convos), so either Karkat and Tavros have more convos besides the ones showed (very likely) or Karkat just having a reputation of helping with issues that he is the first one who comes to Tavros's mind
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also Karkat calling him bro is so fucking funny cdbhd, idk if its sarcasm or if its genuine like with Eridan but he seems worried for a little before going on a rant about how stupid this is, only to come back trying to advice him to do this in private (also he winks at him as GTavrossprite but thats smt for the Tavkat shippers)
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Anyway, back to Aradia, after her death we dont know about their relationship that much, we know that the whole reason that this whole revenge cycle was because Aradia wanted to avenge Tavros
But after her death, we don't know if they talk or if Tavros even knows she is dead, as it was mostly secret that only Sollux, Vriska, Terezi and Equius seem to know,
What we know is that Aradia keeps Tavros close to her heart, as the only reason she didnt straight up kill Vriska is
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Because he was there to see it
And thats all the info we have of their relationship while Aradia was a robot, is more than likely Tavros confronted Vriska (besides creating Bec Noir) because Aradiabot had just exploded and he was blaming her for that too (especulation)
Their post-death/revival shows them having the same relationship pre-aradia's death, after they find eachother in the afterlife
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Theyre big pals :)
Staying with Tavros, another friendship people dont seem to talk a lot about is Kanaya and Tavros, which tbh, we dont have a conversation on screen between them, but we know they talk and Kanaya tries to mediate to help him when Vriska is bullying him
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And also, even after she cut Vriska out because of the whole ''Having a crush on her but finding out she has a crush on Tavros'' (probably because she was sulking) she seems to have a fine relationship with Tavros, as she made a Tinkerbull plushie for him
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To other friendships, Kanaya and Feferi! Another group of trolls with very few coversations, but we can easily tell in those that they cared for eachother
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They have a lot in common, being of the few trolls who woked up in their moons before the game, having a huge responsability as their lusus can either kill or revive their entire civilization, being in a unhappy moiralliagance (with their cases kinda mirroring eachother, with Feferi not wanting to be in any quadrants while Eridan wants to change them, while Kanaya wants to change quadrants while Vriska seems to be fine with where they are) and knowing their lusus were going to die when they were 13
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Feferi and Kanaya seem to have very a similar relationship as Karkat and Eridan, where they advise eachother about their moirals + possible romantic relationships. And their very contrasting personalities helps them balance eachother out
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Feferi is even comfortable enough to invite Kanaya to the horn pile and knowing Kanaya's expressions enough to guess that she is nervous about coming off as meddling with them
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After Feferi gets killed off, Kanaya is already ready to attack, only waiting to see what Eridan is planning to do, attack her first or trying to escape
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If it weren't for Kanaya distracting herself with the matriorb, and Eridan inmediately picking on this opportunity
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To piss her off enough to set her off and attack him first
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So she is an easier target that he can kill her off without a fight
Speaking about this two, next time we will to talk about the complicated (annoying) friendship between these two, why next time? because this post is already getting to fucking long!
Come here for Part 2 -> Here! (when its done this will get updated with a link lol)
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itgetsdark-x · 1 year
Text
If You Want It, You Can Have It
Summary: After a long day of work, your loving boyfriend, Pedro surprises you with baked goods and takeout (and some super intimate, high sex).
Warnings: 18+ minors dni, unprotected p in v (established relationship), oral (m & f receiving), marijuana use / being high, just fluffy smut tbh, vaguely mentioned age gap.
Pairing: Pedro x f!reader
Word Count: 4K
A/N: I’ve never written for Pedro himself before and it felt kinda weird ngl buuuut I spoke about this with @jksprincess10 and I couldn’t resist writing it. I just know Pedro would be so clingy and cuddly when high, he would be full of bad jokes and holding you as close as possible (not to mention I just know this man eats pussy like his life depends on it, even more so when he’s high).
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You sighed deeply as you entered your home, the one you lived in with your boyfriend, Pedro. It had been a stupidly long day at work, filled with meetings and arguments and setbacks at every corner, it felt like. Pedro had told you a million times that you could quit your job and focus on your art, he would support you through it but you weren’t wired that way, your money barely covered bills in the house but it made you feel like you could at least contribute in your own way. He admired that about you, most people would have quit their job at the first mention of it but not you. 
“Pedro? Honey?” You called out into the hallway of your home, you were sure Pedro had said he didn’t have anything on today and you were half expecting him to be curled up on the sofa asleep.
“In here, hermosa!” Pedro called out from the kitchen and you couldn’t help but smile at the pet name. 
You and Pedro had been together for a year or so now. You had been visiting New York for a work trip, your friends at work convinced you to not just sit in your hotel room all night and managed to drag you out to a couple bars; and my god, were you thankful for that now. It had all happened so quickly; you bumped into Pedro, physically bumped into him and split your drink down his, no doubt, expensive shirt and as they say, the rest was history. You spent the rest of the evening talking in a secluded corner of the bar, of course you knew who he was, you didn’t live under a rock but this man, he was so down to earth and caring from the get-go. You couldn’t quite believe he had shown such an interest in you, someone so normal, so plain, you thought but since that day Pedro had always looked at you as if you were the most exquisite piece of art. 
You wandered into the kitchen and dumped your work bag on the floor and your keys on the counter. Pedro was baking something, it smelled sweet and you couldn’t help but smile at the male. He was wearing baggy shorts, a black t-shirt which had flour stains on the front and as always, he was wearing those striped, coloured socks, the ones that he always wore, even with shorts, no matter how much you protested and told him they didn’t go or look right. 
He turned away from the oven and looked over at you, immediately he rushed to your side and brushed a strand of hair away from your face with a frown. Of course he knew when you had a long or bad day, he knew everything about you and anytime anything was wrong, he was there to fix it for you. He gently held your face with both of his hands and pressed a soft kiss to the tip of your nose before his plush lips placed a gentle peck to your own. 
“What’s happened, my love? You look exhausted. Beautiful… but exhausted. Bad day at work?” He asked with a frown, your hand came up to take one of Pedro’s and you gave him a soft smile, you still couldn’t believe how lucky you were to have him. 
“I am exhausted; yeah, long day at work, let’s just say that. I don’t wanna bore you with all the details.” You sighed, kissing the palm of his hand you were holding. “What are you cooking anyway? Still surprises me to see you in here, especially when everything tends to come out burnt.” You jested, nipping your teeth at the tip of his fingers. 
“You confusing yourself again, mi amor? We both know I’m the one who cooks and you’re the one… well, who burns.” He laughed softly, shaking his head fondly. “Anyway, I’m baking some brownies… you know, the special kind that helps you relax; I just had a feeling your day was going to be long so thought we could order in some takeout and get high together. If that’s something you want to do.”
You grinned at your boyfriend, his puppy brown eyes were soft and filled with such love as you gazed into them. You leant up to capture his lips in a slow, soft kiss and you smiled against him. 
“You, José Pedro Balmaceda Pascal, are truly perfect. Where would I be without you?”
Pedro laughed, it was a familiar noise that filled your heart with such love. 
“Probably in a dingy apartment, burning your food.” He teased, kissing your cheek before going over to the oven to pull out the hot brownies. 
“I take it back, you’re an ass.” You huffed. 
“You love it, now go upstairs, shower away the bad day, get into your comfy clothes and I’ll order in some Chinese. Happy with that, cariño?” Pedro spoke softly, placing the tray of steaming brownies onto the cooling rack. 
“Yes sir!” You grinned, saluting him before going upstairs to shower. 
After your shower you dressed yourself in some comfy pyjama shorts and one of Pedro’s old t-shirts, your hair was thrown up and you were comfy and content. The smell of the freshly baked brownies and Chinese food wafted through the air, inviting you into the living room; Pedro had spread out blankets and cushions on the floor, the curtains were drawn and candles were lit. It was the epitome of relaxation and home for you. 
“Pedro,” you sighed happily and placed yourself next to him on the floor as he handed you your favourite noodle dish. “You’ve done so much for me this evening… what’s going on? Are you about to tell me you’re leaving for six months to film again. I can’t take that news today, baby. Please tell me tomorrow morning.” 
Pedro waved a hand at you in a somewhat dismissive manner and he shook his head. “No, my love, I’ve seen how hard you’ve been working and I wanted to have a relaxing evening. Smoke a bit of weed, or eat those special brownies, relax and listen to some music and hey, I may even get lucky.” He teased, his fingers tickling into your side. 
You batted his hand away and sighed happily as you got stuck into your food, moaning in appreciation as soon as you had your first bite. 
“Still as good as the first time!” You said, a mouthful of noodles. 
Pedro grinned at you, he was just so pleased to see you eating properly again after the stressful past couple of weeks you had barely even eaten a full meal. He brushed some loose hair away from your face and kissed you before he started eating his own food. 
“So beautiful, even with your mouth full, mi amor.”
You rolled your eyes and let your back lean against the plush sofa cushions as you enjoyed your meal. There was one of your Fleetwood Mac records playing quietly in the background, the melodic music filled the empty space and it only relaxed you further, as if with every strum of the guitar strings more of your stress just melted away. 
You laid there, lazily as Pedro rolled you both another spliff to share. You had tried his brownies, of course they were amazing and already, you could feel the weed thrumming through your body. Your limbs were heavy and a dopey smile was plastered over your features. Your belly was full, your mind was relaxed and Pedro’s body was tightly pressed to your side. 
Pedro sparked up the spliff, the orange embers glowing in the darkened room and smoke filled the space between you both; he took a sharp inhale and held it for a few seconds before exhaling the herby smoke. You held your hand out slowly and made a grabby hand to take it, he obliged and handed it to you. You repeated the same motion as your partner before tapping the ash into a small ashtray between you both. 
“I fucking love you, have I told you that recently? I love you so much.” You mumbled, the words tumbling from your lips quicker than your brain could comprehend. 
“You tell me plenty, cariño. But I love you too, you keep me sane and I would be lost without you by my side and burning my food.” He grinned, it was boyish and handsome. 
“Oh my god, I get it, I suck at cooking. We can’t all be perfect, can we, Mr. Pascal.” You whined, slapping his arm lazily and passing him the spliff once again. 
“Well, I wouldn’t say perfect.” He smirked. “C’mhere.” He mumbled, tilting his head to motion you over. 
You happily obliged and quickly climbed into your boyfriend’s lap, your legs straddled his thighs and your arms loosely looped around his neck, your fingers toying with the soft curls at the nape. Pedro brought the spliff up to his plush lips, he sucked in a long inhale and held it for a few seconds before drawing you closer with this empty hand; you got the idea and parted your lips for him, he slowly exhaled into your open mouth and allowed you to inhale the smoke. It reminded you of being a teenager and trying weed for the first time with your ex-boyfriend and friends. Only now, you felt truly safe and you could entirely enjoy the high without panicking. 
Pedro stubbed out the spliff, discarding it into the ashtray and pushed it aside, his fingers held onto your hips and he let them dip under the hem of his shirt on your body. You smiled as his warm fingers danced over your delicate skin under the fabric of his shirt. You slowly dipped your head down to press a soft and sensual kiss to the male’s lips, Pedro sighed happily into the kiss as you shared the taste of the lingering marijuana between you both. Your tongue traced over his bottom lip before entering his mouth to be greeted by his tongue, you explored him eagerly as your body moved slowly. The kiss lasted, for what felt like, an eternity as your heavy limbs clung to Pedro for support. 
You could feel Pedro’s cock growing in his shorts and it made you whine, your mouth salivated with the thought of sucking his dick as his hands travelled further up into your shirt. His soft hands ghosted over your breasts, leaving goosebumps in their wake and your nipples hardened as you shivered in his lap. 
“I love hearing you.” Pedro whispered, his lips pressing soft kisses to the expanse of your neck. “Make some more pretty noises for me, please.”
Pedro gently grazed his teeth against your neck just as his hands found your breasts once again, his thumbs rubbed over your sensitive nipples and you moaned in wanton. He couldn’t help but smile against your skin as he elicited more moans from your lazy lips. 
“Pedro,” you gasped softly. “Let me show you how thankful I am for this evening.” You purred seductively, smirking as you shimmied away from his grasp and out of his lap. 
You knelt on the floor, grabbed the waistband of his shorts and gently pulled them down until they were discarded to the side of you both. His cock sprung up as soon as the material constricting him was gone, you licked your lips and gently wrapped your fingers around his hard cock. You gave him a few gentle strokes, your thumb swiped over the tip and you grinned when Pedro gasped loudly, his hips bucking up to meet your hand. You pushed his thighs apart until you were knelt between them and you quickly took the tip of his cock into your mouth, immediately your senses were flooded with Pedro, he’s all you could taste and all you could smell. 
Your tongue swirled around his head before you sunk your mouth down, he was big and you always struggled to take him in but it never stopped you from trying. You breathed deeply through your nose until the tip of Pedro’s cock was hitting the back of your throat, you gagged softly around him and Pedro stroked your hair in encouragement. 
“Fuck,” he cursed. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, feels so good.” He hummed, his head lulling back until it hit the sofa behind him. 
You held back your smile as you heard the older male cursing above you and it only encouraged you to work his dick harder. You wrapped a hand around the base of his shaft and stroked him in time with your bobbing head; in a matter of minutes, Pedro was shaking above you, his tender hand held onto your hair for leverage. 
“Baby, stop. Fuck. Gonna cum if you carry on.” He mumbled, his voice shaky. 
You popped your mouth off his cock with a loud pop and looked up at him with a smug grin.
“Maybe I wanna make you cum, right in my mouth so I can taste you.” You whispered, climbing up his body again so you could kiss him. 
Pedro smiled back at you, his hand held your cheek and he kissed you back. 
“Nope, I wanna make you feel good, hermosa. I wanna hear your pretty little mouth as I cum deep in you. Maybe I should fuck a baby into you right here and now.” He said, his words making you shiver. 
“Fuck.” You cursed. 
“Gotcha.” He winked. “Lay down for me, beautiful. Let me make you feel good.”
“Wanna see you first, take off your shirt, please.” You whispered with your hands splayed out onto his broad chest. 
Even though you had seen Pedro numerous times before, there was something within him that was still insecure about his body, he was never forthcoming at removing his shirt. He always felt embarrassed by his slight tummy, you told him you loved it, you loved him. You had told him so many times how attractive you found him, and even if he wasn’t it wouldn’t change your feelings towards him. He always had the counter argument of you being younger and more beautiful, which in your mind, was absolutely ludicrous. 
He nodded slowly, his arms moved even slower to remove his shirt and suddenly you were greeted with the sight of Pedro’s bare chest; his tanned skin peppered with small freckles and hair. Your hands were on his skin immediately, hungrily exploring every perfect inch. Your dizzy mind found heaven within the expanse of his skin and you couldn’t help but lean forward and kiss at his chest. 
“Uh uh, my love. Don’t get distracted.” Pedro warned with a smirk. “Your turn to remove your clothes for me, my pretty girl.”
You nodded and followed suit, stripping yourself of Pedro’s shirt and your pyjama shorts; since you were at home, you weren’t wearing any underwear. Normally, a small part of you would feel vulnerable like this, naked and on display so willingly for your boyfriend but the fact that you were high helped with it. 
Pedro gently pushed your shoulders until you were laid on the cushions on the floor, he protected the back of your head before he could slide a pillow under you. You couldn’t help but smile at the tender motion and your hands softly traced over the vague muscles in his biceps, you couldn’t get enough of him and your fingers wanted to drink in every inch of his body. 
The older male stroked his fingers gently over your face and trailed them down your body, they briefly brushed over your hard nipples until he was at your vagina. He dipped his fingers through your slick folds which caused your back to arch off the ground, Pedro was laid on his side next to you and he gave you a dopey, high smile. His fingers found your clit almost instantly and he rubbed quick circles around your sensitive bud, it had pleasure erupting throughout your whole body. 
“Always so wet for me, mi amor. Drives me mad.” Pedro groaned as his fingers pleasured you quickly. 
“Babe, please. I need you, need to feel you in me. Please.” You whined as your head lazily rolled to the side. 
Pedro would normally argue with you, he would pin you down and pleasure you until you were a wet, squirting mess but not tonight. The marijuana was making him feel more intimate and loving, he wanted to be as close to you as possible, just anything to please you and make you happy. He removed his hand from you and positioned himself between your legs, his gaze locked onto yours with no hint of breaking it. 
He gave in, without a second argument, he pressed himself to your slick hole and pushed in slowly, so tortuously slowly and all you could do was lie there and whine. You let out a small hum of appreciation as Pedro bottomed out in you, the older male groaned lowly and smiled down at your face. You drank in his features, he warm eyes and loving smile, his greying beard and his out-of-control curly locks. You felt so much love for the male, so wrapped up in your adoration for him that for a split second you forgot where you were or what you were doing, that was until Pedro slowly withdrew his hips to pull himself out of you. 
Your head tipped back in pleasure and he gently held one of your hips in his hand whilst his other hand came up to cup your cheek tenderly. He brought your head back down so he could stare into your eyes again, he loved to see your face contort as he pleasured you further. Pedro rolled his hips sensually, with every thrust of his cock he edged you closer to your orgasm and he could tell, he knew every single one of your looks and with the soft gasps and moans falling from your lips, he knew you were already close. 
Your eyes fluttered shut, your limbs felt impossibly heavy but you held onto your boyfriend, his hand was still cupping your cheek and his thumb stroked over your flushed skin. 
“Look at me, hermosa. I wanna see you when you cum on my cock, look at me.” Pedro cooed softly, his voice like warm honey. 
You obliged to meet his gaze once again, his pupils were blown; from lust or from getting high, you weren’t sure but you knew yours were most likely the same. 
“Good girl. So beautiful.” 
You couldn’t help but smile up at him, as he continued to fuck you closer to your ecstasy. Pedro finally removed his hand from your face to drop two fingers to your clit, as soon as his hand made contact with your clit you wanted to shut your eyes and let pleasure fully take over your body but you didn’t, instead you kept your eyes locked on his. It felt like a matter of mere seconds and there you were, cumming all over his cock; Pedro helped you through it, praising you and slowing his thrusts down further. 
He pulled out of you completely, you could see his hard cock glistening with your juices in the flickering lights of the candles as he knelt back. You didn’t even have time to protest before he was leaning down to lick a stripe through your wet folds; your hands immediately found comfort in his soft curls and you moaned loudly, the noise echoing in the silent room. 
“God I love you.” He breathed into your core, his tongue lapping at your juices eagerly. 
You smiled, your body feeling as if it was floating in midair as Pedro pleasured you. Your fingers entangled further into his hair and you ground your hips down softly onto his face. Pedro smiled against you as your hips moved, he loved how eager you got to chase your high. 
“You’re so perfect. Taste perfect too, hermosa.” Pedro groaned, his voice breathy and rugged. 
Pedro wrapped his lips around your sensitive bud, his moustache tickled at you but you were soon pulled from that thought as he suckled at your swollen clit. The tip of his tongue flicked on it as he sucked at you, your head was swimming and your eyes closed shut as your hips bucked up to meet Pedro’s mouth further. 
“Pedro, papi… fuck. Gonna cum.” You whimpered as Pedro brought you closer. 
“Cum for me then, mi amor.” He whispered against you, resuming his previous position of his lips. 
One last final flick of his tongue and you were seeing stars, your fingers gripped at his soft hair weakly, holding his head in place as you found you’re high on his face. Your greedy hole fluttered weakly around air as you craved for Pedro to fill you once again. 
“Fill me up,” you breathed as Pedro lapped at your arousal softly. “Please.”
Pedro peered up at you, his soft brown eyes were blown with lust and his own highness. He repositioned himself and lined himself up with your hole, he bottomed out in you quickly with a deep groan. 
“I’m not going to last long, baby. Fuck, you’re so perfect. So beautiful, my love, you’re everything.” Pedro mumbled, his face was buried into your neck and he peppered soft kisses to your skin there. 
His hips rolled sensually, everything felt all too good and simultaneously not enough, you needed to feel closer to Pedro. Pedro’s hands You’re wrapped your arms around your lover and held him closer, Pedro hummed in appreciation at your embrace as he drove his cock into you deeply. 
“I love you.” You whimpered. “I love you so much.” 
You were shaking as you held onto Pedro, you could tell he was getting closer by the way his hips faltered and he kept his thrusts short and deep. He made soft noises into the skin of your neck, they were soft whimpers and it only made your heartbeat quicken, a sense of pride flushed over you as you were the one to make him feel this way, you were the one to have him falling apart at the seams in your arms. 
“That’s it, baby. Cum in me, please. Want all of you. Feels so good, I need it. Please.” You cooed. 
Pedro bit softly at the skin on your neck as he came, you felt the first hot spurts of his cum deep inside of you and you moaned at the sensation of finally having his release into you. Your arms held him tighter, his face nuzzled into your neck further and he kissed along your jaw as he worked himself through his orgasm. 
“Cariño,” Pedro sighed as he rolled onto his side with a soft wince. “Thank you. You’re amazing.” He kissed your cheek and held your face in his hand as his thumb smoothed over your bottom lip. 
“You’re amazing.” You corrected him before you leant in to press a soft kiss to his lips with a dazed smile spread over your face. “I need to go shower again, I’m all messy and sweaty. Plus I need to come down from my high a little otherwise I’m gonna be a big mess for work tomorrow.” You laughed softly. 
Pedro continued to stroke your face, smiling at you the entire time. 
“Fine but afterwards we should get into bed and watch a movie or something. Something funny! And I want snacks! I think we have those chips you love from the UK in the pantry or those chocolates we both like. Maybe I have some of those Chilean cookies I love!” Pedro listed, his brain working quicker than his mouth could. 
“You’re such an excitable little puppy sometimes, babe.” You laughed and shook your head fondly at your boyfriend. “I heard The Bubble on Netflix is meant to be pretty good, kinda funny or something. All I know is there’s a super hot guy in it. Pedro something.” You teased, winking at the male as you slowly stood up from the floor. 
“I dunno… I heard that movie sucks.” Pedro grinned up at you and took your hand to follow closely behind you. 
The rest of your night was spent making out lazily in the shower followed by lying in bed together and watching a romantic comedy in bed whilst you continued your high-school make out session. The air was filled with ‘I love you’s’ and sweet nothings before you fell into a deep and peaceful slumber. 
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Would I be the asshole if I start hooking up with my hook-up's friend?
Some background info is necessary here. I'm aromantic and I've always been completely open about that and as upfront about what a relationship with me will (and, more importantly, won't) entail. I met this particular guy on a dating website like OKCupid or something like that, I don't remember exactly which one. We got along and were attracted to each other so I sat him down and had my usual talk with him about what he could expect and what he should never expect and whether or not that was a relationship he was okay with having. He said yes, so we started doing basically a FWB thing.
He's incredibly hot and we are very compatible sexually (which is honestly not super common for me tbh lol). The problem is, he often gets clingy and weepy and complains to me about how lonely he is and that he really wants a romantic relationship, complete with things about how no one will ever love him and those types of sayings. I've talked to him about it a few times and asked if he was sure he wanted to keep doing this with me when I will never be able to meet that need. We're also not exclusive at all, so I usually respond to this kind of thing by encouraging him to keep seeing other people/keep putting himself out there/etc and hyping him up and stuff. Every time we talk about it he says he's good to go, that he totally understands my aromanticism and he won't try to push for romance from me, and like I said it's kind of difficult for me to find people who also want the sex I want (I guess I'm kind of kinky and a stone top which in my experience a lot of guys are not into idk) and especially to find people who are interested in sex and dating with no actual romantic feelings or intent. So I've been sticking with him even though he keeps bringing this up and kind of (seemingly) implying that he wants things from me I've told him repeatedly I can't give. I don't want to hurt his feelings by still sleeping with him if he wants love, but I'm basically operating on the assumption that he's a big boy who can make his own decisions and I've been honest with him and understanding, at least as far as I'm concerned.
That's the backstory, now we reach the issue I'm actually asking about. A few days ago, maybe as an early birthday present for me or maybe just coincidentally, this guy had a friend over at the same time as me and we ended up having a threesome. It was great! I really liked the other person involved and we were all compatible and had a lot of fun. They gave me their number on my way out.
So I've been texting with this person, that my long term (I guess, depending on your definition of "long term") hook-up introduced me to via a threesome, and they have asked me if I want to hook up again with just them. Which I totally do. I know I wouldn't be an asshole to start seeing them in addition to the first guy because we're not exclusive and never have been, and I've made myself clear from the beginning that we never would be. My question is would I be the asshole if I started seeing this person that he introduced me to via a threesome, and also stopped having sex with him (I would be open to still being friends who don't have sex, but somehow I doubt he would be very interested in that).
The thing is, this new person is also aromantic, so I know that a non-romantic sexual relationship that stays non-romantic would actually for sure be okay with them. I wouldn't have to worry a) about hurting their feelings because they want something from me I can't give, or b) them repeatedly implying they want more or thought I could change my mind eventually or whatever. But... It just seems like it might be a bit of a dick move when he introduced us for group sex and then to... cut him out of the group, I guess.
So... would I be the asshole?
What are these acronyms?
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lakesparkles · 14 days
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I finished the first chapter of my Gideon and Ramona fanfiction :D
I'll post it somewhere else someday, but so far I can share it here.
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(reminder that this is NOT a ship fic. I just want to explore their relationship and project on Ramona tbh)
Ramona and Gideon - I
.
.
.
She decides to leave one last time
Or
Ramona remembers the seven reasons that made her fall in love with Gideon
  She had that same fantasy every day. As she walked down the halls, running her fingers along the wall, she imagined herself entering her own room. It was satisfying, somehow. She could perfectly see herself opening her wardrobe, taking out the few things that really interested her, putting everything in her bag and simply walking away.
  In that fantasy, of course, she always smiled. She even laughed. That kind of hysterical and cathartic laughter only present in films. She wanted to imagine how Gideon would react: how long would it be before he realized she wasn't there anymore? Two weeks? And when would he realize that this wasn't just another one of her "famous tantrums"? Two months? Two years?
  Part of her was almost excited at the prospect of making him furious with such an accomplishment. It would be his turn to take endless turns through the halls, finally using his brain trying to understand what had gone so wrong between them. Maybe he would find out years later. Or perhaps that doubt would eat away at him for decades to come, the bitterness of her image never leaving his mind.
  And part of her... thought that wasn't realistic. She knew Gideon well enough to know that he would never even consider any mistake on his part, with a mixture of confusion that never ended well when it came to him.
  Or worse.
  He wouldn't even care about her lack of presence in that house.
  Therefore, Ramona released her fingers from the wall, slowing down her steps until she stopped altogether.
  Then the fantasy ended. Every single time.
7 MONTHS BEFORE
  "Ramona Flowers," he repeated once again, with his head bowed. At that point, she figured he just wanted to test how the name sounded on his own vocal cords. "Ramona...Flowers."
  "Did you like it, huh?" Ramona took a sip of her own drink, even though she already considered herself drunk enough. Maybe he was too, now that she thought about it.
  "Sounds a little familiar."
  "Strange," she shrugged, not caring. "And you are?"
  Now he raised his head once more, looking her in the eyes. Ramona found it strange the way he raised one of his eyebrows, as if he had just heard a terrible insult.
  "Did I say something wrong?" Alcohol always made her put all her thoughts out, without thinking much. She slowly realized that it hadn't been a good idea to start talking to that guy in a situation like that.
  He laughed, however:
  "You are intriguing, Ramona. And my name is Gideon Graves, to answer your question!"
  He - Gideon? Weird name - had said such a thing with so much pride that she began to suspect there was something she wasn't understanding. She became even more certain of that once she noticed his gaze still fixed on her face, waiting for a response - perhaps an acknowledgment. Strange, huh.
  To escape her own discomfort, she looked ahead, watching as everyone calmly walked around the party room. It was an average place, so there were too many people everywhere: one of the reasons she felt so uncomfortable. Parties stopped interesting her when she left college. Now she had no idea what to do there other than walk around with her glass of wine. And walk more. And pretend to be interested in the topic that another weird guy in a suit, who held her arm, was talking about. And walk.
  "What brought a girl like you here?" Gideon cut the awkward silence, catching Ramona's attention again.
  What was he implying with that? That she looked poor? Messed up? Or was it her hair?
  "I was challenged for 20 dollars that I wouldn't be able to crash this party."
  "Seriously," he laughed lightly, now being his turn to sip his glass. "What was the reason?"
  "It's a looooong story."
  "Don't tell me!"
  "You wouldn't have that much time to listen to me."
  "It seems that you don't know me very well" he implied, good-naturedly.
  Ramona turned her head to the side until realize Gideon kept his eyes fixated on her face. He always had a blank expression, difficult to read. She took the opportunity to analyze him more closely, trying to decide if he was ugly or not. His dark hair was longer on one side, in a kind of fringe that must've been popular about 10 years ago. What caught the most attention, clearly, were his thick glasses that he occasionally used his index finger to place back on the bridge of his nose. However, she also couldn't help but notice his white coat, much more informal than she expected for an occasion like that.
  Normally, Ramona was good - great even! - knowing a lot about someone just by her first impression and how the other person acted. But that guy? He was different, he just seemed like a weirdo who apparently was interested in her.
  She had watched him for a few minutes before he approached. Gideon was talking calmly to a large group of people, making no effort to become the center of attention. He had something in him, that was for sure. A kind of confidence mixed with how unusual the way he gestured with his hands was.
  She was so caught up in her own mental notes that she didn't even notice Gideon's next move until it had already happened. Still with a smile stuck on his face, he held her arm tightly, pulling her away from the wall and making her follow him.
  "What the hell, dude!?" Ramona practically screamed, looking around in confusion.
  "Let's get out of this stupid party, I can't take it anymore!"
  Indifferently, Ramona let herself be guided wherever the other wanted. She didn't care anymore. About that party and about everything else. Not when everything had already gone catastrophically wrong. She was too drunk to think about that anyway.
  The two of them sneaked among all those people, occasionally apologizing for stepping on someone's foot. When they paused for Gideon to exchange their glasses for two full ones, Ramona realized that she was having more fun in that moment than in any other second since she entered that tight space.
  This time, she didn't even need Gideon's grip to willingly follow in his footsteps, laughing along with him every time they had to take a giant turn just because there were so many people.
  "I know a place~" Gideon hummed when they arrived in one of the corners of the room. Without making much effort, he lightly opened one of the large doors, waiting for her to pass before closing it behind them"
  They came face to face with a long circular staircase - not the most pleasant sight at the moment. She felt sick just looking up:
  "Can we be here?"
  "Yeah, Jonah doesn't care! Do you know Jonah? The owner of this buiding."
  "Obviously not, man!"
  "He's a friend of mine... For a long time. Anyway, keep following me!"
  And so Ramona did, having the next minutes extremely complicated. She almost tripped on some steps, needing to lean on the handrail as if her life depended on it. Gideon himself didn't seem so good either, his feet unsteady even as he continued to take large gulps of wine. Anyone who looked at them at that moment would think they were idiots, and that thought amused Ramona.
  Fortunately, the stairs ended after some time - how much had they gone up? Four floors? - Gideon opened another door, smiling at her as he waited for a reaction.
  "Wow," she murmured, somewhat ironically, looking up. Until that moment, she hadn't even realized that they'd gone to the roof of that building. The sky above them was almost completely dark, the stars being overshadowed by all the other lights coming from the buildings.
  "Much better than down there, don't you think?" Gideon boasted of himself, taking slow steps to the edge of the slab, leaning there to better observe the entire view.
  "Funny. For the way you got along with everyone, I thought you were enjoying it."
  "Not even close to that. The good thing about Jonah's parties is that you soon know everyone there, at least by sight. The bad part is that it gets repetitive after the third party."
  "I'm already thinking it the first time. Who is Jonah?"
  "Huh, he's..." Then he interrupted himself. "You're really not from here."
  "What do you think?" Ramona went to his side, resting her glass on the slab and exhaling through her mouth in a kind of 'pfff'. "Do I happen to look like the type of person who comes to New York with a completely fanciful idea coming from $1,99 novels, only to find out that it's not all that and that she's not even good enough to be a pizza delivery girl?
  "From the way you're saying it, I believe so."
  "That is not what happened!!" She got angry, being grumpy again.
  "Alright."
  With a sigh, she leaned her body weight - up to her chin - on the wall:
  "I'm not here to stay" finally something sincere came out of her mouth. "I just need some money to get to Vermont."
   "It's far away, y'know?" Gideon spoke very quietly, his gaze fixed on the sky. She could've sworn he looked a little disappointed, which interested her. "Is there anything you need to do there?"
  'No, I just want to know how it is. Just like here."
  "And what are your thoughts about New York so far?"
   "Overestimated."
  "I knew you'd say that!" He shook his head, pretending to be irritated. "And something also told me that you were exactly the type of person who liked to hang around."
  "The thing you said about my eyes, right?"
  "They're beautiful."
  "Did you know that your flirting gets worse every time you drink more?"
  Gideon let out a sudden laugh. If he was offended, he didn't show it. At most, he finished all the remaining liquid in the glass in one gulp, teasing her.
  "And why are you right here, in the party?" He continued.
  "Is this an interrogation?"
  "I'm just curious about someone as fascinating as you!"
  "Silly," she rolled her eyes, not falling for that. "It was because of a friend. No, not a friend. A guy I met."
  "A boyfriend?"
  "What? No! It's the guy from the coffee shop across the street, I think he knows Jonah or something. His name is Jay, we talk when I go there. Do you know? That coffee shop over there, look!" She pointed with her index finger to the dark spot on the street below.
  "I have no idea what you're talking about."
  "Anyways! Jay ended up becoming my roommate. It's in a tiny studio apartment, but he can pay for it with his cafeteria salary and I can with the money I saved from Pennsylvania."
  "Mhmm!"
  "Shitty, I know! But I'm getting out of here. Soon."
  "Are you sure you don't have any plans?"
  This time, Ramona was silent, watching the cars pass by below. That part not even alcohol would let go so soon.
  "And you, Gideon? Are you from here?"
  "Me? I'm not. I came from North Bay.'
  "Serious? You don't look Canadian."
  "What does looking Canadian mean to you?"
  "Someone who isn't you."
  "Did you know that you make less and less sense the more you drink?" He countered, raising both eyebrows.
  She ignored him, then he spoke again a few seconds later:
  "Do you see that building over there? The one near the red sign."
  Ramona followed with her gaze where he was pointing:
  "Man Media?" She read with her eyes almost closed, barely seeing.
  "G-Man Media! G! The triangle is a G!"
  "Ah, now I see it."
  "So, I live there!"
  "Live?"
  "It's my company building, actually. But I arranged one of the floors to be my apartment."
  "Company?"
  She was still looking closely there, almost getting scared when she felt Gideon's hand on her shoulder.
  "Ramona, are you okay? Of course you're not!"
  She responded with a nod, cursing herself for making it so apparent that she had drunk more than she was used to. What a great first impression. She tried to stand and turn to him, to prove a point, but she remembered little after that.
  It was as if her mind had stopped working from one moment to the next. I mean, she was conscious as best she could. Wasn’t she?
  The problem was remembering that the next day.
  She lifted her head for the expected pain, her mouth dry as a desert upon waking up. Even though she couldn't see very well, she realized she was in a bed. How? She barely had time to despair before she looked everywhere, analyzing the light coming through the window and realizing she was alone in an unfamiliar place. It wasn't her apartment with Jay, that was for sure. That room alone should've been bigger than the entire place.
  The last thing she remembered from the last night was being in a car. Gideon spoke to her, a little impatiently. He asked where she lived, she thinks.
  Well, there was no sign of Gideon at that moment, which made her feel a little calmer. She also seemed fine, if she ignored her hangover.
  It'd just been... Weird.
  It took her about half an hour, rooting and snooping in every corner of the room, until she noticed the most obvious thing of all: the sheet of paper and the envelope on top of the cabinet.
  She sat at the foot of the bed, reading what was written there:
  "Dear Ramona Flowers,
  The room´s already been paid for overnight, don't need to worry! If you want to see me again, you know where to find me. If not, I wish you the best of luck in Vermont!
                                                                                     -GGG"                         
  Half curious, half laughing at the stupid name, she opened the envelope to find enough money for five trips.
  She didn't know why her brain reminded her of that specific moment. Ramona raised the corner of her mouth, coming back to reality and running her fingers along the walls of the hallway towards her room.
  Now the fantasy was completely over. Instead, she imagined a fictional life in Vermont, accompanied by someone poorer and less complicated. It looked good, if she ignored the lack of detail because she had obviously never set foot there.
  God, what an idiot she was!
  Even without having a specific direction, she continued walking there. It’s what she does when she is so bored in such a big building. It was even funny. She'd lived there for months, but she was pretty sure she'd never explored all the rooms and floors.
  She was near her room when someone suddenly came out of one of the open doors, colliding painfully into her.
  "Ow. Sorry" she automatically apologized, expecting to be one of the tower's employees.
  "Ramona," the other person's voice said. In that typical and curious way.
  "Gideon," she said back, her head down. "I thought you were working all day today?"
  "Nope, only in the morning" he finished straightening his suit that had crumpled during the impact. "I was looking for you, actually."
  Ramona raised her head, certainly not anticipating this turn of the conversation. So much so that she was speechless for a second, giving Gideon the chance to continue:
  "Do you want to go out for lunch? You can choose the place this time."
  His tone... It seemed normal. Different from usual, which made her suspicious:
  "I prefer to stay at home today, my head hurts. I was going to my room," and then she started to feel guilty. "Do you want to watch a movie?"
  "Only if it's Sherlock Holmes!"
  "Nothing like that! You said I choose and it will be The Butterfly Effect!"
  Gideon smiled as he nodded, putting his arm around her neck - that had to be uncomfortable, considering how many inches taller she was than him -, and walking beside her to her room.
  Then they spent the next few minutes together, without anything too special. Besides, of course, being in each other's presence in general. It seemed like the longer their relationship lasted, the less they saw each other. And that only made her feel strange about the current situation. It seemed so normal that something had to be out of place.
  The film played in front of the two, who lay on her big bed. Gideon had a straight body, with his legs crossed and his arms the same way. Ramona kind of touched him and kind of didn't. Gideon seemed interested in the film, laughing and making occasional comments. Ramona pretended to pay attention when answering him.
  What was so wrong? There had to be something wrong.
  Then Gideon stretched a little, changing position to turn around and wrap his arms around her body. His familiar shape made her dizzy for a moment. This hadn't happened for a long time. Without thinking too much to avoid regret, she snuggled into his hold, feeling warm and... Fine. Almost.
  The memory was almost automatic. Her brain refocused on that same day, months ago:
  What she hadn't told Gideon when they met was how incredibly lost she was feeling because of her own stupidity. After graduating, she decided to leave everything behind, as she realized that she didn't belong there. She might not have any idea where that place would be, but she could certainly look! She took whatever temporary job she could get; she boarded planes and even trusted strangers for rides; she spent months, weeks and days in completely different cities. Searching.
  New York before Gideon had been more of the same. Her days were made up of looking at those giant buildings while wondering which point in that immense city was the right one.
  Apparently, it was exactly in that room, feeling Gideon's comforting warmth. He looked so relaxed that she couldn't help but laugh at the funny face he made as he tried not to fall asleep. The energy bar above his head said otherwise, being practically zero. Ramona... She was almost fine too. Her eyes took longer to blink each time.
  So why did she still feel exactly the same as the time she spent wandering around New York? She was beginning to think that she was incapable of settling down and being content.
  An instant before she fell completely asleep, something clicked in her mind. Her eyes suddenly widened.
  She finally realized what was so wrong there.
  It was about the day she met Gideon. She was absolutely sure that, until now, she remembered perfectly how everything happened when they got down from that slab. Before now, she remembered taking a taxi with him and all the conversations they had inside. And how he took her to a random hotel for the night, saying goodbye briefly by leaving her in the room and writing something while she went, in her drunken state, to bed.
   But now... It was as if her mind had gone blank.
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