#i do think many of his insecurities stem from this

[dabadmooddood]

so, i went and saw challengers...

**spoilers ahead// I was stupid tired typing this so it might not make any sense and could just be word vomit, but I couldn’t sleep without getting this off my chest**

so i think the problem i've had with the conversations i've seen surrounding this film is the fact that people are trying to really simplify the relationships between them and their relationships with tennis then reducing them to some blanket statements like "oh Tashi just loves tennis and is just with Art because she can control him" or "Art doesn't even love Tashi, he loves the idea of her and what she can do for him" or even "Patrick doesn't love either of them, he just loves attention". i think why these conversations really bother me is because i fear we are reaching a stage where we are so unable to connect to people that we fail to see characters as people and recognise that like most people they are complex and so are their relationships with the things and people they love. i think this is the truest form of a love triangle but not in the traditional sense, i think all three have a love for two (or more) things or people and i word it like that for specific reasons.

Let's start with Art, who is a character i relate to quite heavily, i think it is quite obvious in both of his establishing scenes with them how much he loves both Tashi and Patrick and as a result also has a love for tennis because that is what keeps him within proximity of them, first Patrick then Tashi. I think his love for both stems from a clear adoration he has for them because their supposed, although faux, security in themselves is foreign to him because he’s quite clearly very insecure (this is kind of highlighted in multiple instances when he's so full of praise for them but doesn't really talk much of his own ability and in fact sees himself as quite the inferior to others in different aspects). I can understand how this can be perceived as him loving the idea of Tashi more than he loves Tashi herself but i think there are hints throughout the film that points out how he views her in a way that is much more intimate than just some great tennis player, i mean from the second he made the comment about the scream she made after winning the junior open i knew they'd end up together. His love for Patrick is a little bit different because he very much views him as a brother initially and it's a bit harder to tell how he feels about him after the kiss, but they never struggle to be within each other's space and the way they engage with each other is extremely intimate, I mean technically even his first sexual experience was with Patrick, and there is no doubt in my mind that he does love him very deeply.

Regarding Patrick, i’ve seen quite a few people argue that he loves neither of them and only loves himself but again i feel strongly inclined to disagree with that. Whilst it is obvious that he does have quite the ego and more than anything loves attention and adoration, i think to say he does not love Art would be extremely untrue. i think the fact that Patrick is only able to produce his best tennis is when playing against or alongside Art is meant to show us how deeply it is that he cares for him and that those are the moments in which less of his focus on his own ego which is what makes, “That’s different. That’s you and me.” such a beautiful line because it introduces us to the idea from early that Art is the only person whom Patrick is willing to surrender his ego for. Also, it goes unnoticed a lot, but he has a lot of praise for Art and is often frustrated with his lack of self-belief because what seems like just adoration on Art’s end is a shared adoration which is why he is ultimately fine with Tashi’s singing his praises in bed because he feels the same way about him.

Lastly, i’ve seen many say that Tashi doesn’t love Art in multiple ways, whether it be “she doesn’t love either of them, she just loves tennis” or “she was really in love with Patrick but because she got injured, she chose Art”, but i really do believe she loved Art. When discussing Tashi’s relationship with the boys i think it’s useful to analayse their double’s nickname fire and ice, with Patrick being fire and Art being ice. Fire represents passion and desire but similar to actual fire is unpredictable and uncontrollable whereas Ice is meant to represent calmness and stillness but also something that can be carved into something new or even reshaped. Tashi and Patrick’s fight, that ultimately ended their relationship, was a result of Tashi trying to coach Patrick and him being defensive as a means to protect his ego, which is quite similar to their initial interaction with each other in which Patrick defends the effectiveness of his serving routine against Tashi’s criticisms of it. When looking at that in comparison to Art pretty much immediately adjusting and improving his serve at Tashi’s recommendation it really highlights the exact differences in the two relationships. Now, i’ve seen many argue that that is the only reason Tashi chooses to be with Art, because she is controlling and needs someone controllable, but i think that is where we do the character a disservice and oversimplify her. Although we don’t see it all that often, Art brings out a side of Tashi which is very much caring and considerate. It's extremely hard to see it through her demeaner particularly when they’re older and she tries to be his tennis coach at all times but there are moments throughout the film when her guard momentarily drops and she’s seen smiling at him, expressing concern for him or just being generally softer than the Tashi we see throughout the rest of the film. Also, the so called “hate” she has for him is clearly an underlying resentment that she holds because he doesn’t love tennis as much as she does but it is still able to compete at the highest level and i can agree that it manifests itself in a very unpleasant way but I think the only reason Patrick calls it hate because he has a similar jealousy that Art was able to achieve the adoration he craved but it didn’t manifest itself in the same way and he probably still holds similar adoration for Art that he’s always had

All in all, i do think there are clearly loving relationships that exist between the characters but unfortunately the one thing that connects them, tennis, is also the one thing that doesn’t allow them to have healthy relationships as it breeds jealousy and resentment partnered with the different ways they compensate for their insecurities it can make it seem as simple as “they all hate each other” but I believe it more so a toxic love than it is a hatred.

#challengers #challengers 2024 #challengers movie #tashi duncan #tashi donaldson #art donaldson #patrick zweig #zendaya #zenday coleman #josh o'connor #mike faist #luca guadagnino

[feuerkindjana]

Aziraphale's Guilt Complex

I can't get over how guilty Aziraphale must feel at all times.

The first time he met Crowley at the dawn of creation. He witnessed its beauty and was instantly drawn to this joyful, glowing, stunning angel and then he opened his mouth and told said angel that his hard work won't matter much in the long run. For all Aziraphale knows, he caused Crowley's Fall and the loss of his home and safety, and depending on his name and rank, maybe even started the whole rebellion.

That alone would break a person but then he gets put on Appletree Duty, fails to prevent The Fall from Grace of Adam and Eve and has to oversee them losing their home and safety. So, he tries to give them at least some sort of protection, something he couldn't do with Crowley, and hands over his sword. Which, in time, created War and caused millions of people to lose their home and safety, Falling left and right (either from Grace due to the things they did or quite literally by dying).

Aziraphale can't un-create War but he was offered the chance to right his Original Sin, to bring back the glorious creature that he hurt. He has protected Crowley whenever he could and this would protect him because they'd be together, untouchable (he doesn't know about Gabriel's trial and how very much not untouchable the higher ups are and maybe he never really understood the Fall ) and they could watch over the beautiful creation together. Of course, he'd be delighted to take that chance, not only a chance to "restore " the joy that he witnessed and destroyed but also to redeem himself, to be able to hate himself a little less.

To let go of that part of his guilt, to correct his biggest regret... that is hard to say no to.

Sadly, I don't think Crowley knows any of that. He might suspect a bit of a bad conscience about War but I don't think he understands that Aziraphale blames himself for The Fall.

#good omens #good omens meta #good omens 2 #good omens 2 spoilers #gos2 #gos2 spoilers #Aziraphale's guilt complex #good omens thoughts #Aziraphale #angel crowley #Crowley #i do think many of his insecurities stem from this #but he was anxious before so who knows what he experienced before he met Crowley #i so want to see a strong and self-assured Aziraphale #he makes my heart ache

[eggcats]

Radioapple fic, where after it's revealed that Pentious was redeemed, Heaven sends some angels (including some of Lucifer's own family) down to check out this Hazbin Hotel. (common fic theme)

And Lucifer is STRESSED. He hasn't seen any of his family in millennia, and they absolutely did not part on good terms. Especially because now he has to make as good of an impression as he can because he will NOT be the cause of Charlie's dreams failing.

Anyway, one of Lucifer’s estranged family arrives and they have absolutely NOTHING good to say about the hotel, it's people, or even hell itself. Insulting the decor, how it looks, being like "You got kicked out for free will and THIS is what they do with it? Ugh." and the like.

Lucifer is trying to keep himself together for Charlie's sake. (He's only had 3 breakdowns today, he's doing good!)

However, the last thing he expects is Alastor coming to his defense. Alastor looks at this shitty relative of Lucifer’s and is immediately like, "How DARE you? Antagonizing this angel is MY JOB, and I don't send him into hysterics, I send him into MUSICAL NUMBERS. Get out of my hotel immediately." But, obviously, he can't SAY that (for many reasons, the least of which is that Charlie needs them here for her redemption project).

So instead, he just picks at everything they say. "Hmmmmm, yes, but we at least chose to do this with this, free will you're insulting. What's your excuse for that eyesore youre wearing, hmmm?"

Alastor goes as far as to defend Lucifer’s choices in decor in the hotel, and Lucifer is completely confused because he and Alastor literally fought the day before about that SAME decor??

(The second the angel leaves Alastor turns to him and goes "They're right, you know, that is the ugliest interior design I've ever seen," and then DISAPPEARS before Lucifer can even respond. What the hell?!)

Alastor is not ignorant of toxic family dynamics, and while part of his initial issues with Lucifer stemmed from his belief in him being a deadbeat father, actually knowing him kind of changes his thoughts on this. It's a little telling that Charlie has been (apparently) attempting to contact her mother during her 7 year disappearance and has heard nothing, but the father who (she believed) thinks she's a failure shows up within an hour of her calling him ONCE. And then he does whatever he can to help her dreams, and the second she implies she wants him around more, he MOVES IN. It's kind of hard to continue thinking that LUCIFER is the toxic parent in the family dynamic, after all this.

(He still fights him, though, because it's fun to tell the most powerful being in hell his choice of interior design is ugly. If Alastor kind of doesn't go for the throat in all of Lucifer’s insecurities anymore, no one needs to acknowledge that.)

So, during the entire Heaven tour, Alastor is strongly in the "form a united front" boat. He can and WILL come out of the shadows for a sarcastic quip that simultaneously shuts them down AND makes Lucifer feel better.

(Alastor will NOT acknowledge the anger that goes through him at the idea of someone other than him picking at Lucifer, especially when they are CLEARLY trying to send him into a breakdown. How dare they. *cough* Anyway.)

So the whole ordeal winds up not as stressful as Lucifer was dreading, because somehow he has an antagonistic cannibal deer defending him the entire time. And Lucifer has no idea HOW that happened, but it does kind of make him feel better. (And Alastor's form of mocking him does, too, somehow.)

When they're alone, however, Alastor still picks at him so they can fight. (And Lucifer didn't notice until now how much FUN he has fighting with Alastor, and that Alastor insulting him makes him want to do better and prove him wrong, unlike his visiting family that makes him want to lock himself away for a decade.)

The tour ends, and Alastor and Lucifer go back to how they were before. (Sort of. Lucifer might be re-evaluating every interaction they've ever had and might send himself into a mild crisis.)

#hazbin hotel #radioapple #alastor #lucifer morningstar #duckiedeer #hazbin alastor #hazbin lucifer #fic #mine #long post #Alastor seeing someone else making fun of Lucifer: how DARE you thats MY job and youre not even DOING IT RIGHT get out of my hotel now

[psuedosugu]

You know something I've noticed? Yeah, Nifty is your typical yandere but can we talk about Vox? You technically don't even have to request him as a yandere unless you want it to be romanticized toward you and/or further explored because according to ALL of the recent regular Vox x readers (and the show itself), he clearly has many traits of one especially toward Alastor. He acts like a toxic, jealous ex 😂 He cyberstalks people for one, he's manipulative, insecure (this is where possessiveness and jealousy tends to stem from), doesn't take rejection well as we heard from Al, is capable of being obsessed with someone, and an overall control freak. He wants to keep the Vees' image and everything looking perfect. Imagine this guy being attached to you. An absolute nightmare. Never any privacy, eyes and ears everywhere, can teleport with or without a screen, blackmail is 100% on the table as well as other tactics, and constant validation for him whether your relationship is forced or not. What sucks about the last part is that it's a double-edged sword. If you fuel his ego, he's enabled but if you don't give him enough attention, he'll try harder and tighten his hold on you. So while Val absolutely horrible, it's like you can never win with Vox. Not when you don't have equal power and he's stated to be very strong. Especially these days, tech is an absolute must since even jobs heavily rely on it. Life and the afterlife here is much harder without a smartphone. He's literally a TV. He wants to be watched and noticed.

So he'll get it.

exactly brooo

cw: themes of manipulation, blackmail, and toxic, controlling relationships.

gender neutral

:･ﾟ✧:･.☽˚｡･ﾟ✧:･.:

ੈ✧̣̇ || honestly atp he’s practically a canon yandere.

ੈ✧̣̇ || i kinda talked about this before but i feel like he would manipulate reader into thinking that they need him when its the other way around

ੈ✧̣̇ || as u said, he’s insecure as hell and he needs someone to boost his ego and make him look superior

ੈ✧̣̇ || he also needs some source of stability in his (after) life which is where you come in.

ੈ✧̣̇ || hed also never let things go or get over you.

ੈ✧̣̇ || he started beef with a dude that he hadn’t seen in 7 whole years, for gods sake 😭

ੈ✧̣̇ || bro will start fights over things that happened months ago and are over now done with

ੈ✧̣̇ || he also craves control, not only will he spy on you through your electronics but he’ll also try and control other things that he has no business controlling like what you wear, who you talk to, ect.

ੈ✧̣̇ || if you mention your concerns about it he’ll try and back off, but hes just so paranoid that something will happen to you even though he knows you’re capable of taking care of yourself.

ੈ✧̣̇ || he needs to feel like he’s needed.

ੈ✧̣̇ || he also exerts his control by threatening you with blackmail, wether it be secrets that you told him or pictures.

ੈ✧̣̇ || not like you don’t have a fair amount of dirt on him too, though.

ੈ✧̣̇ || he’d definitely fight a bitch for you, if you’re getting threatened, stalked, and/or harassed by someone (that isnt him ofc) said person better prepare for his wrath.

ੈ✧̣̇ || hes a whiny ass bitch which is either annoying or hot depending on who you ask and what the context is.

ੈ✧̣̇ || its also kind of confusing how he acts, he’ll be practically ignoring you one second and begging for your attention the next.

ੈ✧̣̇ || another reason why he’s so scared of you leaving is because of how vulnerable he’s been to you.

ੈ✧̣̇ || he’s told you things that he’s never told anyone, shown parts of him that no one has ever seen, and the thought of what you could do with this info if you ever were to turn on him makes him feel sick to the stomach.

ੈ✧̣̇ || despite how it feels sometimes he really does care about and love you, he just has an unhealthy mindset when it comes to love.

ੈ✧̣̇ || perhaps you should stay around (not like u rlly have a choice), teach him how to love someone properly. you wont regret it :)

:･ﾟ✧:･.☽˚｡･ﾟ✧:･.:

i do requests!

check out my masterlist!

#vox #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x you #vox x reader #hazbin vox #vox x you #x reader

[draemgal]

can i request an azriel x reader, she’s cassians second-in-commandand she meets him during a meeting. she flirts with az shamelessly. infront of everyone and she doesn’t care one bit. she wants azriel and she’ll have him👀 he gets very amused and smirks in return ( he’s so sexy omg ) in the end he gives in and finds out she’s nervous because she didn’t think he would actually like her back, she was just pushing his limit and now she’s the shy one😋

master of disguise | azriel

hi lovely anon! thank you for the request, this was super fun!

there he was, his black attire adorned with cobalt blue siphons and shadows pooling beneath his feet. he was even more gorgeous than you imagined him to be, his dark eyes scanning the room, his scarred hands tucked casually into his pockets. you had heard mentions from cassian of his brother, azriel, but had never expected him to look so beautiful.

cassian smiled, embracing his brother quickly before finding his seat next to rhysand, the high lord of the night court. being cassian’s second in command, you never were invited to such meetings. only cassian, who would then relay the message to you. tonight, however, proved to be different.

there was a set of two open chairs, one next to feyre and the one across from it, next to amren. only you and azriel remained standing. you mustered up enough false confidence and striped over, pulling out the chair next to the high lady. she greeted you warmly, placing her hand on your shoulder and telling you how nice it was to finally meet you.

you returned the gesture as you felt the spy master’s gaze as he sat in front of you. he was only an arm reach away, anxiety and insecurity coursed through your veins.

cassian introduced you, but all of them had know of you already. azriel smirked, his head tilted low as he surveyed you, his hand lazily wrapped around a glass of neat whiskey.

your body told you to freeze, but your training with cassian had focused on confidence.

“even if you have no clue what you’re doing, even if you’re shitting your pants, you act like you know exactly what the fuck is going on. they’ll believe it, and eventually you will to.”

your mind repeated that statement as you flicked your hair over your left shoulder, resting your head on your ring clad fingers as you met his eyes, refusing to balk. you forced your face muscles into a smirk that radiated confidence, matching the one he bore.

he raised his eyebrows and leaned back in his seat, bringing his glass to his blushed lips.

“how lovely it is to meet you, y/n.” he smiled, testing you. he wanted to see if you were all about it, if the glances were a facade.

you smoothed your dress with your hands and tilted your head to the side. “please, the pleasure is all mine—trust me.”

cassian pursed his lips and turned to morrigan, who was grinning as she watched the encounter. cassian elbowed her and wiggled his eyebrows, resulting in the blonde rolling her eyes and stabbing at her food with her fork.

“okay, then.” rhys started, his arm around the back of feyre’s chair. “eat up, we’ll discuss the manners of the meeting shortly after.”

side conversations started, but the noise was drowned out as azriel began taking quick glances at you throughout his conversation with amren.

you cursed yourself for what you were about to do, but let the confidence seep out of your pores.

they’ll believe it, and eventually you will to.

you took your wine glass, your fingers wrapped around the stem and bulb. you kept his eye contact as you took a sip, pulling out a bit hastily so that the merlot droplets ran down your lips. sticking out your tongue, you licked them up, then using your tongue to delicately lap up the droplets around the rim.

he shifted, his eyes growing darker as his lids sloped. almost as if he was relishing in what he had just seen. cockily, you smiled at him and leaned in, well aware of your breasts threatening to spill out of the cut of your dress.

many flirtatious glances and actions later, the last person had finished their plate. your group dispersed to settle before the meeting at rhysand’s request. you were standing in the kitchen, helping feyre clean up when azriel walked by, him grasping your wrist and making you follow him.

the hallway was left unoccupied as he stopped and turned to face you. he towered over you, his wings broad and powerful. the muscles on his body were fully outlined in the moonlight. he had you pressed against the wall.

close, he was so close.

his body was a short distance from you, his right had extended level to your eyes, palm pressed against the wall.

his movements, so sure of himself as he kept his eyes lowered to yours. he had caught you off guard, there was no preparation that your brain had time to instill confidence.

“cat’s got your tongue, princess?” he whispered into your ear, almost feeding off of your nervousness. his hand grazed from your ear down to your chin, angling it upwards so your lips were short of a couple inches apart.

bold. you hadn’t pegged him to be so bold.

“all talk, no bite. how cute, you flirting with me all night and now you have me and you don’t know what to do with it.” he smirked, leaning in closer until you could feel the warmth of his lips against yours.

“i-i… you actually think i’m attractive? i was just feeling it out… i didn’t think-“ his finger met your lips, stopping your words before they fell off your tongue.

you swore he could hear your heartbeat because he chuckled lightly before saying, “allow me to show you how attractive i think you are.” and with that, his lips met yours.

#acotar fanfiction #acotar x reader #acotar fic #azriel x reader #azriel x you #azriel fluff #azriel imagine #azriel one shot #azriel shadowsinger #azriel x female!reader #azriel x y/n

[fiendishfables]

hello!! i saw ur blog and i was super excited to see another aroaceee is it alright if you do platonic adam x reader headcanons? he can be reader's friend, sibling, or preferably reader's father figure as long as its platonic, anything u'd like is fine! sorry if my request is kinda weird lol, i just haven't seen a lot of platonic hazbin hotel stuff (especially stuff with adam in it)

a/n: Always good to meet other aroace individuals, indeed. I personally love Adam, he is absolutely my favorite character. I’ve been dying to write for him more and thinking of him as a dad is just my favorite scenario-

warnings: cursing, Adam being Adam, brief mentions of sex, subtle hints at Lute x Adam (if you squint)

words: 944

additional notes: this was one of my first asks I ever got; I AM SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT. Enjoy~!

Adam as a Father Figure

Headcanons

First of all, he never expected to actually have a kid of his own, but now here he was

By the time you turned 6, you knew about every single curse word in existence, along with a (disturbingly) decent amount of female anatomy

Lute gets promoted to babysitter

When Adam is off performing with his band or needed in the council/other Heavenly resides, Lute is responsible for keeping track of his child

Even if she lost you (which she has, multiple times) he won't be that worried

You were a kid and as far as Adam knew, kids needed food

Hence how he knew you would find your way back to him eventually

Okay scratch that, maybe he does get a little worried...a lot

Starts to doubt his ability as a parent

Once he even got Sera to send out a search party for you because you had been gone longer than usual

It worried him sick whenever you went exploring, but he was almost a bit prideful that his offspring had managed to inherit his sneaking around capabilities already at such a young age

Lute has had to console her boss many times in response to your random disappearances under her watchfulness

He has legit been facedown on the couch with his head in her lap whilst he bawls his eyes out, blabbering to her about his worries pertaining to you, and then somehow that stems to his hopes and dreams in life (he doesn't wanna talk about it)

Only for you to walk in with food from some random location about 10 minutes later

You'd be on the floor as soon as you enter the domicile because Adam would have jumped on you and then proceeded to hug the very life out of you (all while stealing your bag of food in the process and running off with it)

Calls you a bitch, dumbass, and 'a little shit' for worrying him

Though he would never openly admit he had been worried

He doesn't care if you have a social life, he wants you home safe before 9pm, sharp

── ･ ｡☆*☽*☆ﾟ.──

Teaches you how to play guitar

He claims its because he wants to pass on one of his awesome talents to his only child, but he also really wants you to join him and his band on stage one day or another

You are in the starter stages of learning and are able to accurately get chords down and learn to read sheet music

A tear just may have come to his eye

The first song you two ever perform together is "Hell is Forever"

He did see someone try to give you a rose after your performance and nearly knocked them out

Trust him, he's a sex and relationship positive guy (for the most part) but he also can't help but feel like he wants to protect you at all costs

If you dare to call him over-protective, he will very gladly give you the silent treatment for a good 5 minutes

After that time mark, he will be groveling at your feet and whining about how sorry he is (rare that he actually says 'sorry')

His biggest fear is his own child having it out for him and not wanting anything to do with him

A clingy parent, no doubt

Wants to train you in the ways of becoming an Exorcist Angel

Poor guy is a bit insecure about everything and needs extra reassurance, though he would never ever outwardly ask for it

That's a sign of weakness in his eyes

Not for his child though

You come to him with even the smallest hint of watery eyes and he is already going full dad-mode

Determined to find the fucker who made you upset

Promises to give em' a good ol' kick in the balls (or vag)

Adam won't discriminate, he's just there to beat the ass of whoever hurt his precious baby

He will get in a fist fight with Sera in order to make you happy

Just expect to be the one he then blames when he gets demoted

── ･ ｡☆*☽*☆ﾟ.──

Adam totally took lots of naps before he had a child, so this just makes for the two of you ending up crashing on the couch together and creating a melodic tune out of your in-sync snoring patterns

Anything the two of you can do together without constantly arguing is a miracle, so this is to be cherished

He has definitely given you some very creative nicknames (as he calls himself 'Dickmaster')

Lute has taken many pictures

She wants to make a photo album and give it to Adam one day just to piss him off

But as she knows how much he really cares for you, she does not want to risk him growing apart from you due to something stupid she did for a few momentary laughs

Let's you two have your moments without interrupting

The two of you always fight over food and who gets to pick where you go for the evening, if going anywhere at all

Lute claims that you are making Adam all the more emotional, but no one seems to be complaining

Especially not the High Council

Its nice to have him shut his mouth for once and remotely think about his actions and who they could potentially effect

Adam has something to lose now, and everyone in both Heaven and Hell alike knew it

No demon spawn would ever get to set even a foot near you

You were the first life he felt truly responsible for

He refuses to fuck it up and lose someone else he cares about

He would protect you until the ends of time, whether you liked it or not

#adam #hazbin hotel #hazbin adam #adam x reader #hazbin hotel x you #xreader #adam x you #hazbin hotel adam x reader #hazbin adam x reader #hazbin hotel x reader #lute x reader #hazbin hotel adam #adam hazbin #adam hazbin hotel #adam x lute #lute #platonic #single dad tings #lute is totally an amazing mom #babysitter #y/n is so devious ooga #hell is forever #angels #Heaven #Hell #parental guidance #I love Adam with all my being piss off #headcanon #headcanons #x reader

[redbleedingrose]

Hiya!

So sunday was my bday - and i was wondering if you had any sort of head cannons about Az - idk if this makes sense - like being posessive with a slightly insecure reader. Like say they are at a resturant or something and some is being rude to you and Az is just like 'Nah thats my girl' type vibe yk?

Sorry for always rambling.

Always much love and support through the days!

🍸

Hello my lovely devoted reader 🍸!!!

I am so sorry for the late reply! I hope you had the most amazing birthday!!

And please let me know what you think, hopefully you liked this and it met your expectations! 

Okay, so let's be so clear, Azriel is the most protective of the bat boys towards his mate. Like Cassian is always showing off his girl, and Rhys doesn't even feel the need to be protective because first off, he knows that they can take care of themselves and take anyone down, but also because he is so freaking cocky, he just knows that no one would be able to steal them away.

But Az?? Azriel is a protective to the max. He always has been and he always will be. Part of that comes from his Illyrian roots, and the intrinsic need to protect you. But also, he is secretly fearful that you would find someone else who is better than him. Because in his mind, he doesn't deserve someone as perfect as you. He doesn't deserve someone as beautiful, kind, elegant, funny, and intelligent as you. Another part of his protectiveness stems from the fact that you are his mate. His. The spymaster of the night court. Darkness incarnate. He has made many enemies throughout his five centuries of living. Enemies that would do just about anything to see his downfall, even if it means hurting an innocent female, especially if that means hurting the one person Azriel cannot live without, you.

And so...

He is silently always watching. When you are in the same room, he soaks in your presence, and cannot force himself to look away. Because you are the most stunning creature that he has ever met. Because you are the love of his life.

He also has ordered one of his shadows to constantly be around you. And he thinks you haven't noticed, but of course you have. You know your mate. You know his tendencies to be protective. You know the fears that he holds close to his chest, hidden away from everyone, even his brothers, but impossible to hide from you.

And honestly...

You don't mind the protectiveness. You actually bask in it.

You adore the little shadow that follows you around. It has become your silent friend who helps you with whatever task you are working on. Once, you were cooking dinner for you and Az, and the glass bowl slipped from your hands. Had his shadow not been there, the bowl would have shattered into thousands of little pieces. But the shadow was there. And in an attempt to protect you from any harm, it caught the bowl, lifting it back to your hands. And since then, anytime you ask the shadow to do something for you, it will.

You adore the way that Az stares at you. How he eyes you up and down in whatever it is that you chose to wear for the day. How you are the first person he looks for when he enters a room. How his gaze remains focused on you, even while in conversation with someone else. How he looks at you like you have placed every star in the sky. 

Before Azriel, you struggled with the way you looked.

But with him...

With him... with the way he glares at any male who has the gall to speak to you. With the way he practically worships the ground that you walk on. With the way his hazel eyes glow with reverence every time he catches your gaze. With the way he kisses you, so softly, so gently, with his hands cupping your cheeks and pulling you flush against him. With the way he touches you like you are holy, like you are a goddess that has graced him with your blessings. With the way he makes love to you, slow and smooth at first, savoring your scent, your body, your kisses. With the way it always devolves into desperation, into longing, into an ache that builds and builds and builds until saccharine release that floods the bond that ties your hearts and souls together. 

Release that has his pupils blown so wide, the depths of his iris’ disappear. Release that has his breathe stolen from him, gasping puffs of air against your lips. Release that has his entire body quivering, and his wings flaring to span across the bed. 

With him, you can’t help but feel like the Mother took her time creating you, perfecting you for the most handsome mate. Azriel stole almost every drop of insecurity that stains your self image. So rarely do you now experience the dark inkling of doubt in yourself. So rarely. 

But it does happen once every blue moon. 

And every time it does, Azriel is right there with you. Right in your corner. Slipping in murmurs of compliments and praise every chance he can get. Having his shadows curl around the curves of your body, and playing with your hair before tugging you towards their master so he can hold you in a tight embrace. Pressing soft kisses onto every inch of exposed skin you grace him with that day. And just like that, the small flame of insecurity flickers out. 

Only today... 

Today, Azriel was out on a mission all day, and would be meeting you at Mariana’s, the diner the shadowsinger took you to after you finally agreed to a date with him, “Just give me one night doll, just one, and I promise I will change your mind about me,” he murmured into your ear as he swayed your body against his on Starfall. That date had been the single event that solidified your feelings towards the powerful male. And since then, every month, you would meet at Mariana’s to share a milkshake like you had that night. 

Today, Azriel hadn’t been here to comfort you as you feel into a spiral of insecurity. His pulses of love down the bond were met with a wall of self doubt that you were holding tight. The dress that Azriel had bought you months ago was just not fitting you right. The way it clung to your hips felt awkward as you stared at yourself in the mirror. Eventually, you had moved to fixing your hair and smearing on a sheer lip stain, and even that hadn’t worked out as you had hoped. Your hair decided to not cooperate today, and your lip stain had only melted into the inner parts of your lips, making your mouth seem much smaller than it was. Despite not feeling good about the way you were looking, you knew in your heart that Az would look at you as though you were the center of his universe, and that soothed the dull ache as you placed the sapphire earrings on. 

You clutched at the wool of your colbat blue overcoat that matched the spymasters siphons, briskly walking through the rainbow to meet at the little table seated out in the corner of the patio, letting the wind brush through your hair. Azriel’s shadow followed dutifully behind you, snaking through the dark corners of the walkway. Unsurprisngly, the diner was packed to the brim, flowing with regulars and new customers. Mariana’s milkshakes were that of legend. You peaked above the heads that were seated, trying to spot the wavy onyx hair that belonged to your mate, but came up empty. You had shown up fifteen minutes early, and knowing your mate, he would likely show up in five. You both had a habit of showing up to your little excursions early, too excited to see one another again. And this time, you had chosen to meet right after his scheduled mission debrief with Rhys and Cass. 

You silently seated yourself at the table, resting your chin into the palm of your hand as the tiny shadow slithered around the restaurant, taking note of all the patrons who were within 50 feet of you. Your fingers stroked the checkered fabric that was placed over the table as you waited for your mate, content with the quiet chatter around you as a distraction from the excitement of finally being in Az’s arms again. 

You already knew how this would go. He, in his spymaster fashion, silent as the darkness that encompasses him in warm comfort, would seat himself in the chair right next to you instead of the one in front of you. You already knew he would card his scarred fingers through your hair, gently tugging you into a warm kiss before sliding your chair by the bottom right up to his. You already knew he would then wrap his arm around the back of your chair, allowing for his warmth that he seems to radiate to seep into your chilled skin, before signaling the waiter to come take your order. That is how things always go between you. That is how it has always gone between you. 

So you certainly weren’t expecting for this random male to slide into the chair across from you. 

And you certainly weren’t expecting for him to reach out and grab a hold of your wrist with his cold, slightly wet palm from what you could only hope was sweat. 

Startled by the sudden contact from a male who was practically a stranger, you gasped trying to yank your arm out of his hold, “Excuse me.” 

But the blonde males grip on you was tight. Unrelanting. “You’re excused sexy,” he smirked at you, leaning in closer to your face with all sense of personal space apparently gone, the alcohol in his breath wafted into your nose had you nearly gagging. “What’s a gorgeous lady like yourself sitting her all alone looking pretty?” he jeered at you, ignoring the obvious discomfort that was strained across your face. The cold whisper of Azriel’s shadow had wrapped around your wrist, helping you in the effort to pull your arm away as you calmly replied, “I’m here with my mate. Leave me alone.”

His smirk dropped at your statement, a dangerous glint flashed across his blue eyes that had darkened into ice, “I’m just talkin’ to you, you stupid bint. You think you’re better than me?” The grip he had on your wrist tightened, nearly cutting off the circulation as Azriel’s shadow shot away, seemingly to warn his master of the situation that was unfolding. Panic started to roll through you in heaves, unintentionally and unknowingly signaling Azriel through the bond.  

Finality was set in your tone as you attempted once more, this time, with much less kindness and a lot more threat laced through your words, “Let go of me right now or else-” The male cut you off, slamming your wrist he had hold of into the table, “Or else what? You know what? You’re a waste of time. Pathetic fucking whor-” 

You felt the sting of insecurity steep into you. A random male stating your deepest insecurity at fact. That you were a waste of time. That you would never be good enough. Not for Azriel, your wonderful perfect mate. 

You didn’t have time to respond back. You didn’t have time to process the emotion. You honestly didn’t even see what really happened. One second, the male was belittling you so close, you could feel drops of his spit marring your skin. 

The next, the male was screaming bloody murder as darkness swarmed you. 

What brought undeniable terror to the male had brought you utter comfort and peace as shadows began dancing around you. The grip that had no doubt left bruises on your wrist, was gone. You could feel the warmth of your mate, his eucalyptus and midnight rain scent overwhelming you into a deep sense of safety. As you squinted your eyes through the mist of darkness, you could barely make out truth teller sticking in through the males hand and into the wood of the table that was covered by the checkered cloth. You could feel the rage radiating off your mate as his shadows dissapatted, allowing you and every other patron seated close to watch as the spymaster brought down his wrath on this male. 

“Or else me,” Az’s voice was deepened into a void. A shiver shot down your spine at the display of power that was sending pools of attraction at the apex of your thighs. “She is mine. Mine. My mate. How dare you speak to her? How dare you lay your flithy fucking hands on her, you insolent fool?” Any cockiness the drunk male had displayed was gone, sobered from the pain of the spymaster’s dagger slammed through his hand and into the table, trapping him in his own blood that was pouring out of the wound. One of your mates hands was clutching the truth teller by the hilt so tight, his scarred knuckles were pure white. The other hand was locked at the males neck, choking him in place as he stammered out apologies and pleas for mercy that were ignored by darkness incarnate. 

A sudden gust of wind from your left with a resounding thump had you shifting your gaze away from the scene that was unfolding, to Cassian approaching you, Azriel, and the male wearing the mask of general to the night court. His large hand squeezed your shoulder softly before he leaned over to murmur something into Azriel’s ear. At first, your mate didn’t budge from his position, too focused on the now crying male. Only after sending a tug down your bond did his attention snap towards you. 

He wrenched truth teller from the males hand, another scream resounding as Cassian made quick work of knocking the male out with a hard punch to the jaw, and then throwing the male over his shoulder to fly away to the jail where he would await interrogation and subsequent punishment. 

Azriel stayed focused on you, completely unbothered by the male, darting his eyes up and down your figure to check for any injuries. He reached out a shaking hand, hesitating as if he were scared you feared him after seeing what he was capable of. Silly male. 

You smiled at your mate, clasping your fingers through his to rub at the thickened skin, bringing his hand up to press in soft kisses. He pulled you out of your chair, swiftly sliding his arms to wrap around your waist, lifting you up off the ground to where you instinctivly wrapped your legs around his waist. 

He shot through the sky, his grip on you solid and warm, grounding almost. Any insecurities that had been creeping through your mind slowly began to slip away as he whispered words of comfort into your ear, only to be heard by you, his shadows, and the stars that lined the sky. When you reached your home, his grip on you hadn’t loosened until he was tossing you onto the bed, immediately following your flying form and dropping his body on yours. 

His hands stroked at your cheeks and hair, “Are you okay doll? I could feel the panic through the bond and I nearly ripped the fools head off when your shadow told me what was happening.” You hummed, nudging your nose against his as you nodded, soaking in the attention your mate was giving you, preening at the strokes of love and overprotectiveness he was sending down the bond. “I’m fine Az, really.” 

But your mate is your mate. He is also the spymaster of one of the most powerful, if not the most powerful, courts in Prythian. Nothing slips past him, especially where you are concerned. He could read you like an open book. He could sense your emotions like they were his own. 

“Nothing, and I mean nothing, he said was true. You aren’t a waste of space. You are the definition of utter perfection. And he was pathetic to think you would use any of your valuable time on him,” you scoffed out a laugh at the gentle words of your mate, but he only pressed his forehead further into yours, his lips brushing against your chapped lips as he continued, “You are mine. My mate. and I am yours. Only yours. No matter how undeserving I may be, the mother has given you to me. And me to you. I love you more than words could describe. The constant awe that I feel around you is beyond any phrase I could use. Every day, I find a new reason to fall for you.” 

He locked his lips to yours in a firm kiss, leaning back only a couple of centimeters after a moment, “Darling, I am so in love with you. I have always been in love with you. And I will always be in love with you.”

And just like that, the sneaky spymaster had stolen every ounce of chilling self doubt and insecurity, replacing it with the warmth of his love, “I am in love with you too Azriel,” you murmured into his plump lips, pecking them after every whispered word. 

AHHHH okay what did you think?!?! Let me know your thoughts in the comments! Please like, reblog, and comment! I always love the interaction, and as always I am so happy and thankful for all the support I do receive. I hope that you all took your medications, had something to eat, and took a sip of water. 

And again, to my devoted beautiful lovely 🍸, I hope you enjoyed. And Happy belated birthday my sweet <3

#azriel x reader #azriel x reader fanfic #azriel shadowsinger #azriel spymaster #azriel acotar #azriel fanfic #acotar fanfic #azriel headcanons #rose rambles #rose writes #fluff #minor angst

[a-libra-writes]

Hello Libra, I just like to say that I really love your work and I love how you depict all these characters so well!

I was wondering if you can do some jealousy headcanons for the Lackadaisy characters?

Danke!! GN reader, most reference a relationship or romantic interest.

♣️Rocky - His jealousy is very obvious to anyone who bothers to pay attention. It is not less obvious or pathetic when you're in a relationship, either. Rocky will find any excuse to interrupt you and the other person, scare them off, redirect your attention, and so forth. It can become very distracting and annoying, so it's best to address the problem right away. The jealousy 100% stems from Rocky's fears of abandonment - not that he'd recognize that - so reassuring him and soothing that insecurity helps a lot. Sometimes his jealous reactions are just that, knee-jerk reactions that he doesn't fully think through. It's safe to say the insecurity is less of an issue the longer you both are together, especially if you're already a very affirming and affectionate partner.

♣️Freckle - The big-eyed boy has a quiet, passive jealousy that he may not notice right away. It stems from inadequacy, and he believes himself to be inadequate in many things, especially when it comes to relationships. He doesn't exactly have a lot of experience, you know? It'll be a constant needling build-up, though his uh, night time shooty activities helps get a lot of that aggression out. He's very open to talking things over, but you'd have to bring it up first. Freckle would rather stew in Catholic-level feelings of guilt before ever talking about it; but talks help a lot! Reassuring him goes a long way, and making sure he brings up his negative feelings before they get so bad.

♣️Ivy - While she's quite easygoing and not prone to jealous thoughts that often, when they do pop up, it manifests as an intense "my best-friend-who-I-tooootally-have-platonic-feelings-for-is-dating-someone-new-and-I-suddenly-hate-that-person". She pouts, she plots, she makes her displeasure known to you - she just gets an off feeling from that person. No, it's not mature, and she can get pretty catty about it - but she's also only 18~19. If you're femme then Ivy can easily dismiss her feelings as just missing her best friend - it'll take extra time to realize they aren't entirely platonic. If you both were together and already had conversations about this, that burning jealousy melts away to a little spark she feels now and again. She'll ignore it, knowing it's just a dumb thing that'll pass as soon as you're back at her side.

♣Mitzi - As much as she acts like she's above such things, Mitzi is the same as anyone else in developing jealous feelings. She recognizes them at once and just wants to bury them down, it's so embarrassing. It's even worse if she gets antsy about someone being overly friendly or flirty with you. What is she, a schoolgirl? The anger at herself might irk Mitzi even more than the person whose being so forward with you. She can get quite passive aggressive toward them, coating her barbs with honey - and that might get directed toward you if she feels you're also being too friendly with them. None of this lasts long - Mitzi would rather have a drink and kiss and make up. She's too old too ladylike for this silly nonsense.

♣Viktor - Just because he recognizes what he's feeling doesn't mean the old Slovak processes them in a healthy way (like, at all). To strangers, he's his usual frightening self, but to those who know him they can tell there's a distinct animosity coming off him. He's not a possessive type, but Viktor already feels miserable about himself and that he doesn't deserve you in the slightest - the idea of someone better coming along is not an impossibility. Now, he can't simply grab them by the neck and throw them out a window just for talking .. .and that'd upset you. So Viktor settles for being in a terrible mood until you soothe him. Attempting to talk him through it just makes him feel worse about himself.

♣Zib - Oh, he recognizes it quick, and Zib haaaates feeling this way. It's so pathetic, so annoying. He should be the bigger person, just suck it up and walk away, but ... nah. If he's been drinking, he's absolutely going to make snide comments and act inappropriate. You drag his drunk ass aside and he does feel a little (kinda) bad about he acted ... some days he's better about it. It's so cliche, but he knows what he's like as a partner. He doesn't offer much, and even if you've made it clear you still care about him, the insecurities and negative feelings can dig into him... especially after booze. He perks right up after some cuddling.

♣Atlas - He doesn't show it outwardly at all. Atlas keeps his impassive expression, outsiders can't tell the difference, but you and his two closest triggermen might pick up the iciness in his eyes. Eventually, that frost would melt into his voice. He would consider any jealous feelings beneath him, if he deigned to call them that. Instead, he'd translate it as disrespect: Whoever is being too personal with you and inspiring these feelings is disrespecting him. It's ... probably best that they move on.

🏵Serafine - Jealousy isn't something that comes easily to her. She's too free-spirited, and she doesn't like the idea of holding another down. She'd hate for you to restrict her, so why should she do the same to you? That said, there are a few times when it comes up. There are always those who want to flirt with you and get too close for her liking, but ... it's also fun to watch. She lets the little pangs of jealousy build up until you return to her side, and Serafine will tease you for doing it on purpose. There's a reason she likes to leave lipstick stains and bites on you. Note, if you try to incite jealousy in her on purpose, she'll see it as a game - but if you're seriously trying to provoke something, it's just irksome. Isn't that a bit childish?

🏵Nico - Like his sister, Nico isn't one for jealousy. He's inspired plenty of it and isn't a fan, and like Serafine, he won't tie you down if you don't do the same to him. Truthfully, he has much less patience for it. Some may think he doesn't feel jealous at all; but Nico is actually just good at dealing with it in a healthy way. He waits until you're back at his side and showers extra attention on you - it's pretty funny when the person who was flirting starts glaring at you. As long as you're not intentionally trying to get a rise out of him, he's chill.

🏵Mordecai - He's awful about it, made worse that he refuses to acknowledge it. It really doesn't kick in until you both have this sort-of-kind-of understanding that's a mess to navigate to begin with, never mind if jealousy comes into play. Mordecai both feels it strongly and denies it with as much strength. Some stranger trying to be smooth is irksome, but not the end of the world. But someone who has a sustained relationship with you? Who gets to touch you and be close to you on the regular? Nope. He's argumentative and prickly anytime they come up. By the time he figures out what his feelings are about, he'd rather chew off his own tail than ever bring it up.

🏵Wes - His flavor of jealousy tends to come from either inadequacy or possessiveness. If the person flattering you and getting too close is some idiot he works alongside, you better believe his hackles raise and he puts them in their place. If it's someone he can't immediately beat down, or if they seem ... well, better than him in some way, the jealousy quietly simmers underneath. Your initial attempts to talk it out are bust, considering the time period and his own machismo ... but he can come around once you reassure him. And wait, didn't he want this to be a casual thing? What's he getting so worked up about, anyway?

🏔Wick - When they build up, he quickly recognizes the jealous feelings in himself. It's something Wick is familiar with, and dislikes - as if it's a personal failing, and not a thing everyone goes through. Depending on how long it sticks around, he can become a little withdrawn and even unsure. It just feels so childish, but he's still glad to get some reassurances. He insists it's not necessary, but Wick still gives you that dopey, painfully affectionate smile you're used to. He's also someone who handles it maturely, and they seem to go as quickly as they come. They may linger if there's already some obstacle between you two - maybe he hasn't brought up his feelings, you're masc so he can't be as open with his affection, and so on - but he's still recognizing these negative feelings and willing to work through them.

#lackadaisy x reader #rocky rickaby x reader #freckle mcmurray x reader #calvin mcmurray x reader #ivy pepper x reader #mitzi may x reader #viktor vasko x reader #dorian zibowski x reader #zib zibowski x reader #atlas may x reader #serafine savoy x reader #nicodeme savoy x reader #mordecai heller x reader #wes clyde x reader #wick sable x reader #sedgewick sable x reader

[nerak-01]

okay so i was reading through your post (WHICH ARE VERY GOOD BTWW!!) and i was thinking…

what about bestfriend!konig??

You guys know just how to bait me into writing, don't you?

For Bestfriend!Konig, I have this gut feeling that you're the one pinning after him. It's known that he was bullied when he was younger, and I think that contributes to a few insecurities even now.

You can make it so obvious that you want him, but he would just keep denying it until you confessed.

Konig, this big, beefy man who is reduced to a blushing mess anytime you get too close. He's always hyper aware of how your sense of personal space seems to disappear around him. You easily brush past him, linger for hugs, and insist on giving him affirming compliments. They make his face feel hot, but Konig chalks it up to you being a very affectionate friend. You wouldn't have a crush on him. He wasn't your type anyway.

No matter how much you dote over him, he refuses to see beyond it because why would such an amazing person be fawning over him? Even if he wanted more, a part of him was always conscious of the fact that you were simply out of his league.

When you did confess, I imagine he had to circle back a couple times. He would be the type to have you wrapped in his arms, cuddled together, chin on the top of your head; and still ask, "Wait... you actually have a crush on me?"

He has this little golden retriever energy whenever he's around you. For how intimidating he may look, it practically melts away when it's just the two of you. Once Konig finally realizes that you're his, he'd stop at nothing to spoil you with his affections. After all, he'd been holding back for a while.

NSFW UNDER THIS

Konig is such a sucker for praise. He loves it when you're vocal and tell him how good he's making you feel.

He's a pleasure dom. Think overstimulation to the extreme because again, he can't get enough of spoiling you.

(If you ask nicely, he may consider being a switch. That's a definite maybe though. A lot of his pleasure stems from yours, so it'd be kind of hard for him to give that up.)

I feel like he could use degradation too, but it stems from being possessive. "F-fuck, you're my little whore, right, darling?"

P-O-S-S-E-S-S-I-V-E. Prides himself in knowing he'll be the only one seeing your eyes roll back as you buck against his face. He easily holds your hips still as he dives in for seconds.

With that comes a possible breeding kink?? Something about you being his to claim... it's primal and raw. Konig might not realize it at first, but the way you continuously squeeze around him makes it hard for him to think straight. Suddenly, he wished there wasn't such tight latex around him. It was so close to breaking anyway, what harm would it do if you were swollen with his kids? You'd his and everyone would know it.

Okay... it's safe to say I got carried away. Seriously though, I really look forward to asks in my inbox. I'm glad you stopped by, Anon! I've got so many things I should be writing, but honestly these are so fun to answer.

#konig smut #konig x reader #konig x you #cod fanfic #cod smut #cod konig #anon ask #send anons

[highpriestessarchives]

Fear: Using Stoicism to Shape Characters

WC: 2,730

Introduction

Like many people, I suffer from severe panic and anxiety attacks. My heart races at what feels like a thousand beats per minute, I get a cold sweat, and my thoughts do not have a filter. The latter of which, I find the most dangerous and disturbing, especially when said attacks get triggered by something so small or nothing at all.

A lot of the time, they boil down to not feeling safe. I feel like I’m vulnerable, that the worst things that happened to me will happen again tenfold, or I’ve become the worst person in existence. Fear, as a lot of us know, can have us assume the worst.

I’m still working on managing my fear, if it can be managed at all, but a lot of what I’ve been practicing is essentially Stoicism. Epictetus, a Greek Stoic philosopher, often highlighted that it is not events themselves that disturb people, but rather their judgments about those events. One famous quote attributed to Epictetus that reflects this idea is: “People are not disturbed by things, but by the view they take of them.”

This sentiment suggests that fear and other negative emotions stem not from objective reality but from our interpretations and perceptions of reality.

I thought, “What a wonderful way to get to know our characters!” Not only do we have to have a grasp on the world around them, we have to understand the extent of how they perceive said reality and how it leads to their own fears as well as their ambitions, passions, hate, love, etc.

Amor Fati

One of my favorite phrases is “amor fati.” It’s what helped me most in navigating my own fears and, as a result, writing some ways in which my characters handle theirs.

The idea of “amor fati” is closely associated with philosophers like Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius, even though they didn't use those exact words. However, it was Nietzsche who made it a key part of his philosophy. He believed that true greatness comes from embracing fate and wanting nothing to change, not in the past, present, or future. In simple terms, it means loving and accepting everything that happens, rather than just enduring it.

When considering the relationship between “amor fati” and fear, several key points emerge:

Acceptance of the Uncontrollable: Fear often arises from the unknown or from circumstances beyond our control. “Amor fati” encourages individuals to relinquish their resistance to such uncertainties and to accept that life is inherently unpredictable. By embracing fate, individuals can find solace in the realization that some things are simply beyond their power to change or influence.

Facing Adversity with Resilience: Rather than viewing challenges as threats to be avoided or overcome, individuals can approach them with a sense of equanimity and resilience. Instead of succumbing to fear or anxiety in the face of challenges, one can choose to see them as opportunities for growth and self-discovery. By embracing adversity as an integral part of life’s journey, individuals can cultivate the strength and fortitude necessary to navigate difficult times with grace and composure.

Gratitude for All Experiences: Fear often stems from a sense of insecurity or dissatisfaction with one’s circumstances. “Amor fati” cultivates gratitude for all experiences, both positive and negative, recognizing that each contributes to the richness and depth of life. By embracing fate with gratitude and appreciation, individuals can mitigate the fear of the unknown and find peace and contentment in the present moment.

This idea is what helps form a “baseline” for my way of thinking and perceiving fear, which is what many people, fictional characters included, tend to mix up.

You don’t need to adopt the same mantra, of course, but I believe that having this Ground 0 in your own personal philosophy will add further depth and characterization in writing. It provides a deeper perspective on why your characters think the same or why they may deviate.

Distinction Between Events and Perceptions

Let’s go back to what Epictetus said: “People are not disturbed by things, but by the view they take of them.” Stoicism teaches that events themselves are neutral; it is our interpretation of those events that shapes our emotional responses. This concept is often referred to as “cognitive appraisal” or “judgment” in Stoic philosophy.

In practical terms, this means that two individuals may encounter the same external circumstance, yet react to it in vastly different ways based on their subjective interpretations. For example, consider a person who loses their job unexpectedly. While one individual may perceive this event as a devastating blow to their self-worth and security, another may view it as an opportunity for growth and new possibilities. The event itself—the loss of a job—remains the same, but the emotional response varies depending on the individual's perception of the situation.

Epictetus’s insight invites us to reflect on the role of our perceptions in shaping our emotional experiences. It suggests that our judgments, beliefs, and attitudes about the events we encounter play a crucial role in determining how we feel and behave in response to those events. By recognizing this distinction between events and perceptions, individuals can gain greater agency over their emotional lives.

Moreover, understanding this distinction empowers individuals to practice what Epictetus called the “dichotomy of control”—the Stoic principle of focusing only on what is within our power to control, namely our thoughts, attitudes, and responses, rather than becoming consumed by external circumstances beyond our control. By directing our attention inward and cultivating a mindset of resilience and rationality, we can navigate life's challenges with greater equanimity and inner peace.

Applying this to character development, particularly in relation to crafting a character’s fears, can add depth and complexity to the character.

Understanding the Character’s Perception of Fearful Events:

Explore how the character interprets and perceives the events or situations that evoke fear. What underlying beliefs, past experiences, or personal values shape their perception of these events?

Consider whether the character’s fear is rooted in the objective reality of the situation or in their subjective interpretation of it. For example, is their fear based on genuine physical danger, or is it driven by irrational beliefs or past traumas?

Revealing Character Traits and Beliefs:

A character’s response to fear can provide insight into their personality, values, and beliefs. For instance, do they confront their fears head-on with courage and resilience, or do they succumb to anxiety and avoidance?

Consider how the character’s fear reflects broader themes or conflicts in the story. For example, does their fear stem from a desire for control, a fear of vulnerability, or a struggle with existential questions?

External Manifestations of Fear:

Consider how the character’s perception of fear manifests in their actions, behaviors, and interactions with others. Do they exhibit outward signs of fear, such as trembling or avoidance, or do they mask their fears behind a facade of bravado?

Pay attention to how the character’s response to fear influences their relationships with other characters. For example, do they push others away in an attempt to protect themselves, or do they seek support and connection during times of fear and uncertainty?

Symbolism and Subtext:

Use the character’s fears as a vehicle for exploring deeper themes and subtext within the story. What do their fears symbolize in terms of larger narrative themes or character arcs?

Consider how the character’s perception of fear parallels or contrasts with other characters in the story, providing opportunities for reflection and exploration of different perspectives.

“Personal Truths” Are Not Necessarily Lawful

No matter how much a character is afraid of something, there is a line to be drawn on how valid that fear is when justifying a character’s actions and self-proclaimed motives. A person can say that they are afraid of someone else and that they are acting to protect others, but does that truly evade them from the law? In other words, a Villain can be completely convinced that what they are doing is noble and right, or that it stems from their own trauma, but, at the end of the day, they’re a murderous liar.

For example, in George Orwell's allegorical novel Animal Farm, Napoleon is a Berkshire boar who emerges as one of the leaders of the animal revolution against the human farmer, Mr. Jones. Initially, Napoleon is portrayed as a strategic thinker and persuasive speaker, working alongside Snowball, another pig, to rally the other animals and establish the principles of Animalism, which advocate for equality and freedom from human oppression.

As the story progresses, Napoleon’s character undergoes a transformation fueled by his ambitions for power and control.

Napoleon’s fear of losing control over the farm drives many of his actions. He becomes increasingly paranoid about potential threats to his authority, particularly from Snowball, whom he views as a rival. This fear prompts him to manipulate and eliminate anyone who opposes him, including orchestrating the expulsion of Snowball from the farm and later falsely accusing him of being a traitor.

He also utilizes propaganda and manipulation to maintain his grip on power. He gradually assumes control over the farm’s decision-making processes, consolidating power in his own hands and using fear tactics to suppress dissent among the other animals. For example, he employs the threat of the mysterious “Jones” returning to instill fear and obedience among the animals.

Napoleon’s lust for power leads him to betray the principles of Animalism that he once espoused. He progressively becomes more authoritarian and exploitative, engaging in corrupt practices such as trading with humans and altering the Seven Commandments to justify his actions. Despite initially advocating for equality, Napoleon begins to live a life of luxury while the other animals toil and suffer.

As his regime becomes more entrenched, he resorts to violence and oppression to maintain control. He establishes a reign of terror, using his loyal enforcers, the ferocious dogs he raised since they were puppies, to suppress dissent and punish any animal perceived as disloyal. Under his rule, the farm descends into a state of fear and tyranny, with Napoleon ruling with an iron fist.

Napoleon’s character serves as a symbol of totalitarianism and the corrupting influence of power. His transformation from a revolutionary leader to a despotic dictator mirrors the rise of real-life totalitarian rulers who exploit fear and propaganda to consolidate power and suppress dissent. There is not one moment of self-reflection, of him questioning that, perhaps, his fears are unfounded or his “personal truths” are not true at all.

Playing With Reality

Now, how can you utilize fear in order to create a character with as much depth and reflection (or lack thereof) like Napoleon?

Exaggerating a character’s fear involves manipulating elements of reality within the narrative to heighten the character’s sense of paranoia, insecurity, and authoritarianism.

Distorted Perceptions: Employ literary devices such as unreliable narration or distorted perspectives to amplify the character’s fears. By presenting events through the lens of the character’s paranoia, the narrative can create a sense of heightened tension and uncertainty. For example, descriptions of seemingly innocuous occurrences may be exaggerated or imbued with sinister undertones to reflect the character’s heightened state of fear.

Symbolism and Imagery: Symbolic imagery can be used to represent the character’s fears in a heightened and exaggerated manner. For instance, recurring symbols of oppression, surveillance, or impending doom can serve as visual metaphors for the character’s anxieties and insecurities. These symbols can be woven throughout the narrative to reinforce the character’s sense of paranoia and isolation.

Surreal Elements: Introducing surreal or fantastical elements into the narrative can create a sense of disorientation and unease, effectively amplifying the character's fear. By blurring the boundaries between reality and fantasy, the author can evoke a sense of psychological instability and existential dread. Surreal imagery, dream sequences, or hallucinatory experiences can all contribute to the character’s sense of dislocation and terror.

Manipulation of Time and Space: Playing with the conventions of time and space can further exaggerate the character’s fear and disorientation. Flashbacks, flash-forwards, or nonlinear storytelling techniques can create a sense of temporal dislocation, mirroring the character’s fractured mental state. Similarly, disorienting shifts in perspective or setting can contribute to the character's sense of being trapped or pursued by unseen forces.

Atmospheric Detailing: Careful attention to atmospheric detail can help to create a sense of oppressive dread and foreboding. Descriptions of the environment—such as gloomy weather, claustrophobic settings, or unsettling ambient sounds—can evoke a palpable sense of unease, intensifying the character's fear and paranoia.

Character Interaction and Dialogue: Dialogue and interaction with other characters can be used to reinforce the character’s fears and insecurities. Conversations may be laced with veiled threats, double entendres, or gaslighting tactics, leaving the character uncertain of whom to trust. Manipulative or menacing exchanges can heighten the character's sense of isolation and vulnerability.

Did anyone else get a little uneasy imagining all of that? I’d go rather mad if I had all of that happening to me, too. Now, what about the good guys? They are afraid of things, too, right?

Of course they are, and you can utilize the above methods for your heroes, as well! There might just be a little bit of extra work involved in ensuring that they don’t spiral into the villain role.

Establish Strong Moral Compass: From the outset, establish the hero’s core values and moral compass. Make it clear what principles guide their actions and decisions. This foundation will serve as a guiding light, helping to anchor the character and prevent them from straying into villainous territory.

Empathy and Compassion: Ensure that the hero retains their empathy and compassion towards others, even in the face of fear and adversity. By prioritizing the well-being of others and demonstrating empathy towards those in need, the hero reaffirms their commitment to noble ideals and reinforces their heroic identity.

Positive Support Systems: Surround the hero with positive support systems, including allies, mentors, and friends who can offer guidance, encouragement, and moral support. These relationships serve as anchors, providing the hero with strength and stability during moments of doubt and fear.

Consequences of Actions: Highlight the consequences of the hero’s actions and choices, emphasizing the impact they have on others and the world around them. By holding the hero accountable for their decisions and their effects, the narrative reinforces the importance of ethical behavior and reinforces their heroic identity.

Redemption and Forgiveness: If the hero does succumb to fear or makes mistakes along the way, provide opportunities for redemption and forgiveness. Allow the hero to acknowledge their faults, learn from their experiences, and strive to make amends. This narrative arc reinforces the hero’s humanity and resilience, emphasizing the possibility of growth and redemption.

Thematic Resonance: Ensure that the hero’s journey is thematically consistent and resonant, emphasizing themes of hope, courage, and resilience. By grounding the narrative in these overarching themes, the hero’s actions remain aligned with their fundamental nature, reinforcing their heroic identity and preventing them from veering into villainous territory.

Conclusion

Fear is a powerful and universal human experience that can shape both individuals and characters in profound ways. Drawing upon Stoic philosophy, particularly the concepts of “amor fati” and the distinction between events and perceptions, can provide valuable insights into understanding and managing fear. By exploring how characters perceive and respond to fear, writers can create nuanced and compelling portrayals that add depth and complexity to their stories.

“Amor fati,” or love of fate, encourages individuals to embrace and accept all aspects of their lives, including the uncertainties and challenges that provoke fear. By adopting an attitude of gratitude and acceptance towards fate, characters can navigate fear with resilience and courage, transforming adversity into opportunities for growth and self-discovery.

Furthermore, understanding the distinction between events and perceptions allows writers to delve into the subjective nature of fear, exploring how characters’ interpretations and judgments shape their emotional experiences. By depicting characters’ fears as rooted in their perceptions of reality, writers can add layers of complexity to their motivations and behaviors, enhancing the depth and authenticity of their characterization.

While fear can drive characters to make choices that lead them down dark paths, it is ultimately their moral compass, empathy, and support systems that determine whether they remain heroes or succumb to villainy. By emphasizing themes of redemption, forgiveness, and growth, writers can ensure that even in the face of fear, their characters' journeys ultimately lead to strength, resilience, and self-discovery.

#writers on tumblr #writeblr #writers #writers and poets #writing #writers of tumblr #on writing #creative writing #writer #writerscommunity #novel writing #writing prompt #writing life #writing community #writing inspiration #writing advice #writing tips #writer stuff #writer on tumblr #writer problems #writer community #writer things #author life #author blog #author speaks #writerscorner #authors of tumblr #authorlife #poc author #authors

[thedevilspearl]

ooo for the kink game! what about a neglect kink? i'm so curious lol

neglect kink

had to use google for this one and why do i lowkey already fantasise about this? like....the idea of your partner being right there but not giving you attention? hello???

a/n: need to clarify that this would happen between trusting partners where it is discussed beforehand. neglecting your partner is never okay but some people may enjoy not being given affection or attention, perhaps as punishment. no judging or kinkshaming please! minors do not interact!

you already know lucifer is on this list! imagine....you’ve been very bad and he isn’t happy at all. he has no qualms stripping you down and placing you on the armchair across from his desk. and while he busies himself with paperwork, you’re not allowed to move or speak and every time you try to get his attention, he’s going to ignore you for longer. not once does he look up from his work, and every time you break a rule, he’s adding ten minutes to the timer. and don’t even think about touching yourself, because then he’ll add an hour.

with levi, it definitely stems from his low self–esteem and insecurities. it takes a lot of explaining for you to realise it’s a coping mechanism. even if his self–worth has improved over time, he still wants to try it. and oh my goodness, he loves it. the idea of you dominating him is riveting enough. but when you have the power to ignore him completely....he is so into it. he loves when you sit in his gaming chair playing on a device while he’s on his knees whining and begging you for attention. he’s so hard, desperately rutting against your ankle while you don’t even acknowledge his existence. it’s so hot.

belphie’s neglect kink is more secretive, and more perverted in manner. you have every reason to ignore him after what he did. and he knows it will take time for you to forgive and warm up to him. in the meantime, however, he finds himself stroking his cock to the thought of you always hanging out with his brothers, but never him. the way you don’t even look at him makes his cock throb like never before. it’s gross but he can’t help it. he would never act this kink out with you, though. it would pretty much disappear when you start being friendly with him.

i have a hard time trying to explain simeon with this kink but i just know he has it. oh how he would just love to tie you up mid–sex, preferably right before you orgasm. you’re thrashing around and begging him to not tie you up because you know what’s coming. hours and hours of neglect. every now and then, he would check in on you, ensuring you’re still okay before going back to his book and tea. but he doesn’t leave you with nothing. as a reward for you being so patient, he will give you as many orgasms as you desire, and more. “patience is a virtue, my love. you learned that, right?”

#♡ pearl’s entertainment #obey me #obey me x reader #obey me lucifer #lucifer x reader #obey me leviathan #obey me levi x reader #obey me belphegor #belphegor x reader #obey me simeon #simeon x reader #obey me smut #lucifer smut #obey me levi smut #belphegor smut #obey me simeon smut #obey me smut headcanons

[spiderrmax]

kyle broflovski & jealousy,

request: bonjour! can u do a jealous Kyle?(ty) author's note: trying some new w this post; it's a mix of headcanons + a little blurb at the end :D

Out of the main four, I feel like he is the one most likely to get jealous

A lot of his jealousy stems from insecurities; he finds himself pondering over his worth a bit and that translates into envy

He hates how jealous he gets though

He’d trust you with his life; he just doesn’t trust many other guys.

Cartman will purposely flirt with you solely to get under Kyle’s skin, and it works! Everytime.

Kyle tries not to get jealous, knowing he’s only doing exactly what Cartman wants, but he can’t help it.

You’re his! And people shouldn’t think they can just flirt with you! 

He’s typically not keen on PDA

But, has no problem wrapping an arm around you and pulling you close if someone is looking for way too long.

If you ask him about it, he won’t try to beat around it too hard. He knows relationships are based on communication, and will confide in you in his feelings.

The best thing you can do is reassure him! He gets in his head sometimes and you just need to bring him back out of it.

Not brushing over his feelings and telling him you haven’t even glanced at any other guys because you have him allows him to get over his jealousy.

Despite getting jealous more frequently, Kyle knows to trust you, and that in most cases you don’t even care for the guy he’s jealous over.

It started with your lab partner, a guy who Kyle could not care to learn the name of. The guy seemed fine at first, based on how you spoke about him, but his existence was slowly weighing Kyle down.

He constantly holds you back from leaving science, a class that Kyle and you didn't share. On most days, you'd meet him outside, walking to your next class together. Your partner's need for help left Kyle waiting in the halls, lingering as you continued to provide aid. (Although, you always perked up once you saw him and left your partner a bit abrupt; that made it worth it.)

He asked for your number and would blow it up when you two were alone. The constant vibrations a reminder of his existence, more salt in the wound. It also seemed the longer you were partners, the more confident he got. Comments that teetered on the line of platonic and romantic, lingering touches that made his face warm with anger.

Kyle despises him, and wants him to know all the resentment he feels. Instead, he bites his tongue, knowing you have to interact with him for your grade.

The feelings can only bubble for so long before Kyle breaks. It's a Friday night, and you're laying together in his bed, above the covers and procrastinating from studying. It takes him a bit to speak, words bubbling up his throat only to die once they reach his tongue. He's able to do it after the third time he thinks of the words he wants to say.

"I don't like your lab partner." He confesses, eyes starring at the glow in the dark stars on his ceiling from his childhood.

"Hm. Jeremy? He's okay." You say, turning to lay on your side in order to look at him.

"He's just. Weird. Why does he think he can touch you like that?" He grumble, face red as he admits it, finally, to you.

When you don't reply fast, he wishes he could melt into his mattress. Embarrassment is heavy on his chest, but somewhere he finds the courage to look at you. He watches as your eyebrows furrow, before realization paints itself on your face.

"Oh, I'm sorry Ky. I've said stuff to him, but he doesn't care," You admit, reaching out your hand to grab his, "Plus, he's really bad at science. He doesn't even do anything."

That pulls an amused snort from Kyle, who rubs his thumb over your knuckles.

You smile at the feeling, before admitting to him, "I'd rather have you as my partner."

Kyle grins, only able to think Take that, Jeremy. Fuck you.

#kyle broflovski x reader #south park x reader

[celaenaeiln]

On the subject of Bruce, Dick, and the Titans, do you think part of Bruce’s issues stem from jealousy?

Like being jealous over the fact that after his parents died he struggled for so long with only Alfred and it took Dick to break through that and help him cultivate a genuine sense of family again, but now Dick is branching out and expanding his family while Bruce hasn’t been able to do that (at the point of Dick being fired)

Follow up to that, do you think that if it is partially jealousy and insecurity, do you think it’s a contributing factor for Jason’s adoption? Not just that he wanted to help another kid but also because he subconsciously wanted to show Dick/ mimic Dick in being able to move past the tragedy of his past by finding new family. Like a shitty slightly spiteful move of ‘hey you’re moving on and doing better but look so am I!’ even if it’s not exactly true. Sort of like pretending your dating someone at a party your ex is at even tho ur still grieving the relationship and not over ur ex.

Other sidenote, love your posts and whenever I come on tumblr I check to see if you’ve posted. Hope you are having a good day ❤️

Thank you!!

So for the first one, Bruce wouldn't exactly be jealous of Dick for having a support system. He wants Dick to be happy.

Outsiders (2003) Issue #29

But he also doesn't want Dick to go. He's jealous that he has to share Dick's attention and his jealousy stems from the fact that he isn't the one Dick goes to.

The second one is spot on!!! OOF THE ANALOGY WAS TOO GOOD!!!!

The main reason for adopting Jason was not just because he wanted to help him, but because Bruce was jealous and angry and hurt that Dick left. That he chose the Titans over him.

Batman (1940) Issue #416

Like you said, "hey you’re moving on and doing better but look so am I!"

In the other version Bruce literally fires him, and it's name-called, for Dick's devotion to the Titans.

I think it's sometimes hard to reconcile Bruce's relationship with Dick because of how many Robins and how much the family has grown but Dick and Bruce's relationship is different.

Batman: Court of Owls Issue #1

"Dick, you know me better than anyone, except perhaps for Alfred..."

It was and is always going to be Dick and Bruce. The Titans call them out on it, the batfamily calls them out on it, that's just the way things are.

So imagine someone you're this deeply connected to, your lifeline, leaving you for someone else. The Jealousy tore him apart and Bruce does what Bruce does best when he's hurt - he pushes people away.

Dick has talked Bruce out of everything in his life. If he didn't have amnesia and become Ric Grayson, Bruce's mental state would not have taken a downward spiral. During his post-Selina leaving him at the alter- nightmares, he has one where Selina is dying and Bruce says, "this is just like Dick."

Batman (2016) Issue #63

Nightmares about Dick's death are bleeding over into his nightmares of Selina's.

Batman (2016) Issue #63

It wasn't altruism which made him make the move, it was spite.

I made a post a long time ago for an ask that asked me about Dick and Bruce's complicated relationship that really goes into depth about why the two of them are inseparable. Dick's said it himself too in the action comics. They both knew the partnership was going to end because Dick wanted to leave but Bruce couldn't let him go so he decided to hurt Dick before Dick could hurt him.

He's canonically described as a foil to Batman. So, yes, by Batman's own admission, Dick is the person who knows him best so jealousy of Dick leading a life, prioritizing people that aren't him, plays a huge role in his actions and interactions with Dick.

#chill bruce #bruce literally sees Dick as a one-in-all relationship #dick grayson #nightwing #bruce wayne #batman #cl anon asks #thanks for the ask!

[bearhugsandshrugs]

How do you think Gortash feels about his looks? Asking bc it’s interesting how little the portraits we see in the game resemble the man himself. Do you think he’s self conscious about having visible scars? He dresses like he has expensive taste but won’t even properly lace his shirt, so how important are looks to him, really?

perfect question for my other post just now

Gortash, to me, is the most confident and insecure man in existence

Like obviously his entire outfit and appearance is overcompensating for so many things, and he doesn’t really seem to give a fuck considering he’s not even lacing up his shirt properly as you said, and he’s rocking a haircut that should give him 25 to life. Which contradicts itself, right?!

But at the same time he has a ton of charisma and I’m sure he knows it. Not to mention he can (canonically) fuck. And the fact that he’s successful. And smart.

Still, you always want what you can’t have so he’s letting artists create versions of him in which he transcends his existence, making him look divine and youthful and unblemished. I tend to think that this is political as much as born from vanity, however.

So overall I’d say he’s probably quite confident with what he’s got. Satisfied? Hard to say. But confident? Yeah.

The insecurity he got going on to me stems more from status, class, and appearances, not his body/looks. Why? Because he learned as a child that if you’re too poor and not fitting in, you get sold into slavery and end up in a devil’s house. This is why he’s splurging on clothes and everything else. Does he know what to do with it? Nah. Will he fight you if you comment negatively on it? Absolutely.

#enver gortash #bg3 headcanons

[twistedwonderlandimaginesblog]

Can you please do some headcanons about Pomefiore with a very insecure reader? I just feel like they love to compliment their s.o, but what if the s.o responds with something like 'ew' or 'you don't need to lie to me' I hope that's specific enough😅

Epel Felmier:

Epel is a little stunned to hear you say something like that about yourself, especially since he’d been smitten with you since he first laid eyes on you. He tried to think of what the right thing might be to say but he can only look a little withdrawn, telling you he definitely wasn’t lying. He tried to consider if he had to deliver compliments in a different way so you didn’t feel negatively about it, brainstorming with all his might but finding he didn’t know how to not just be direct. He’s not someone who saw himself as a catch either, so it’s not like he can’t understand the way you turned his compliment down.

Rook Hunt:

Rook will simply not give you a moment to feel that way. The moment you try to divert from his compliment and laugh it off, he’s adding in another, so many that you can’t turn them all down. It can be quite an overwhelming experience as there seemed to be so many things that Rook loved about you, but he couldn’t let your rejection of his affection simply sit there. He had to respond in kind, letting you know what a beauty you truly were, cradling your face in his hands as he says he would be happy to observe you for the rest of his life.

Vil Schoenheit:

Vil is not a fan of this habit of yours, wanting to metaphorically beat it out of you when he can. Carrying yourself with confidence was another part of beauty, and he reassured you that if you listened carefully to his advice you’d be feeling better in no time. He did have to wonder if you thought his standards were low considering he wouldn’t be caught dead with someone who wasn’t striking in some regard, but he does try to consider your feelings on yourself as he didn’t know where they might stem from.

#Epel Felmier #Rook Hunt #Vil Schoenheit #TWST #Twisted Wonderland #TWST Imagines #TWST x Reader #Twisted Wonderland x Reader #Twisted Wonderland Imagines #Epel Felmier x Reader #Rook Hunt x Reader #Vil Schoenheit x Reader

[mothdruid]

The Physics of Love - Prologue

series masterlist | part one

pairing.

robert 'bob' floyd x afab!reader

warnings.

insecurities, previously experienced misogyny in STEM, self-doubt. this content is meant for those who are 18 and older.

authors note.

professor coleman (hondo) is a real one who loves his students. but let me know what you think so far! i will be doing a tag list for this series, so if you would like to join that, let me know.

The red ink stared back at you menacingly. Every minus one, minus two, minus three points marks taunting you. Sixty-eight out of one hundred. It wasn’t the worst you had scored in the class, but it was too far into the semester for you to drop. If only you had actually considered it a few weeks ago. That foolish woman in STEM mentality got the better of you though.

“If there are any issues with scores, let me know after class.” Professor Coleman announced.

It was as if the whole classroom failed, many students hanging back to talk with Professor Coleman. And you were no exception, slowly packing your bag while leaving your test on the table. You flipped through it a little bit as you waited after packing. It wasn’t that you were embarrassed, you just weren’t sure what to do from here on out.

“Issue with your score?” Professor Coleman asked.

You shook your head, letting out a soft chuckle.

“No, I just,” your hand tightened on the marked up papers, “don’t know what to do.”

Professor Coleman gave you a questioning look. You watched as he adjusted his glasses, staring at you with an odd kindness. The tension in your shoulders started to dissipate, your body finally relaxing enough to let your frustration sift into worry.

“If I don’t pass this class, boom, bam, degree gone,” you set the packet on the table. It was annoying to think that this class would potentially make it or break it for you. Stripping you of that geology degree you had yearned for since junior high. Math? A struggle but doable. Chem? Not too bad. Physics? The bane of your existence.

“It’s not like the final is next week. You have passed both exams so far.”

“Barely,” your hands were starting to clench up. It was a nervous habit, one you couldn’t seem to shake.

“Still passed though,” Professor Coleman offered you a smile.

"My degree requires a C plus, something that looks impossible right now," you sighed, tightly running your forefinger and thumb across your forehead to block your vision. It was beyond frustrating.

"Have you thought about looking for a tutor?"

A tutor? Was he being serious? How could anyone help you learn this cursed subject? Let alone get you to retain the information. Plus, you had tried it last semester. It ended in a bit of a failure, on your part and the tutors.

"Yeah, last semester. Tutor got frustrated because I couldn't pick it up, and I got frustrated about not picking it up quickly and it was just," you removed your hand only to be greeted with a soft frown, "it didn't work."

"Would you be willing to give it another try?" Professor Coleman asked, pushing his hands in his pockets.

"I uh… I don't know. I'm not a huge fan of the tutor program here, especially after last semester." You looked over at him with a frown and shrugged. "Maybe this is the universe's way of telling me to give up on geology."

"Hey, some of the best things in life are hard to get, and this might be one of them." Coleman smiled softly at you.

Doubt with a hint of shame swirled around your mind. A storm cloud that didn't want to dissipate. As much as you wanted to believe his words, it was hard. It was hard enough to make it in this field anyways. Hell, any STEM major was hell to get into. It was exceptionally worse though being a female in the field though. You had had classmates and professors act as if you didn't belong among them. And now, it felt like it was all true.

"What if I found you a tutor? Hand picked by me," Coleman shrugged, his words catching your attention.

"Oh, you don't have to do that, I can just fail and go about taking it next semes-"

"I don't want to see you fail."

The two of you stood there for a moment, staring at each other. Coleman had been the first professor that had seemed to actually care about how you did, which was rare for a STEM professor. Most of them had a sink or swim mentality with their subjects, but not him. Not good ole Hondo.

You had heard about Professor Coleman through a few of your other classmates in your program. He used to be an astrophysicist for NASA but then decided to pursue the field of teaching. Or at least that is what you heard through the grapevine. He taught a collection of undergrad students and grad students. You heard Professor Mitchell call him crazy one time for teaching so many students, but you didn't think that Professor Mitchell had much room to talk.

"I don't know if anyone you pick will put up with my incompetence for physics," you hate to admit it, but it was true. You were incompetent at the subject, basically hopeless.

"You're not incompetent, we all have areas we struggle with. I have the perfect person in mind anyways," Professor Coleman said with a smile while leaning back against his desk, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Yeah? Who?" You gave him a curious look.

"It will be a surprise," Coleman said as he pushed up off his desk. He took a few steps over to you. "He will be helpful and patient, because it sounds like you haven't had much of that so far."

"But what if–"

Professor Coleman held his hand up to stop your words.

"No buts, and please just trust me."

"Fine, but if this doesn't work out," you grabbed your bag and slung it over your shoulder, "you're paying for my second semester of Physics ll."

Professor Coleman grinned, holding his hand out for you to take. The two of you shook hands, sealing the deal. As much as you didn't want to, there was an overwhelming feeling about you failing flowing through you. It felt like the only outcome, all your insecurities about your place in the world bubbling to the surface. But somewhere, deep down inside of you was a bubble or two, telling you that this tutor would help you survive the rest of the semester.

#bob floyd #robert bob floyd #robert floyd #bob floyd x reader #bob floyd x afab reader #bob floyd fic #bob floyd fanfic #the physics of love #tutor!bob floyd