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cafedanslanuit · 4 years

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[ k i n k t o b e r ] d a y 21 - masterlist

↪ character: todoroki shouto [boku no hero]

↪ tags/warnings: +18, female!reader, alcohol usage, stolen kisses, cheating (reader helps to cheat ig), passionate sex, slight angst

↪ a/n: the idea came to me while listening to ‘the winner takes it all’ by abba ~

Why are you here?

You finished the drink in your hand, feeling the vodka burning down your throat. You watch Todoroki greet the other guests and you want to yell at him to leave. Leave, leave, leave, fucking leave. It wasn’t enough that he had ruined your small party, now he had the audacity to appear.

Leave, leave, leave.

Go back to your fiancée.

The day had started out great. You had been promoted at the agency, and were told you would get your own sidekicks. Beaming with happiness, you agreed when Denki offered to organize a small office party, proud of your achievements. While your boss, the main hero of the agency looked for a bottle of champagne for the celebratory brindis, you excused yourself to go to the bathroom for a bit. On your way there, you checked your phone, almost dropping it when the first post that appeared on your timeline was a photo of an engagement ring on Momo’s hand.

You read her post, saying how happy she was that it was exactly a year after they had started dating. Had it already been a year? You swallowed thick and kept looking at the photo, which Todoroki had obviously liked. He probably had posted something similar. You wouldn’t know, having blocked him from your social media a while ago, when their couple photos became too much to handle.

You shouldn’t have stopped trying. It had been a fight-- a stupid fight if you had to be honest. A miscommunication that shouldn’t have happened. You waited for him to apologize and he did the same. Days became weeks, and not too long after you heard whispers about him dating a girl from his school. But it was just a rebound, right? You would find your way back together again. You were sure.

You were.

Denki found you standing in the hallway, eyes lost on your phone. He took it from you, his eyes widening when he saw Momo’s post. Knowing your past history with Todoroki, he tried to comfort you, but you just nodded and followed him back to the office, putting on your best hero smile.

And now he was at the party. Why?

You stopped counting the times you poured more straight vodka to your cup. When you saw Todoroki approaching you, you made a beeline around him and entered the small kitchen in the office. You rested your hands on the sink and took a deep breath, doing your very best to calm the dizziness on your head from walking so fast.

A few minutes later, you heard someone coming inside, so you turned around with your hero smile. The moment you saw the half red and white hair, it dropped from your face.

“I wanted to congratulate you for--”

“What are you doing here, Todoroki?” you spat. He frowned.

“I came to congratulate you--”

“No, don’t bullshit me,” you said with a dry laugh. Looking at the kitchen door, you closed it, trying to avoid any prying eyes from your coworkers. “Don’t bullshit me, why aren’t you with your girlfr-- no, my bad! Your fiancée, why don’t you go back to her?” you asked, the liquor on your head making all the hurt that had been accumulating inside your heart turn into harsh words.

Todoroki stayed in silence, eyes fixated on yours. He parted his lips but no words came out. The silence between the both of you seemed to last an eternity, only the music coming from the office filling the gap. You took another look at him, at his black shirt and dark jeans and missed him. Your body craved for his touch, not having been this close since the night he left your apartment. The night you let him go.

You weren’t aware of the tears streaming down your face until Todoroki had cupped your face with his hands and was trying to wipe them off with his thumb. Your whole body started trembling at the contact and even more tears ran down your cheeks.

“I was a fool,” you whispered. Todoroki just kept trying to dry off your cheeks. “I thought-- I thought things would fix themselves and they didn’t. And now I get I was a fool, I’m so sorry, Shouto,” you whimpered. “I’m sorry I didn’t push harder, I’m sorry I let you go because I miss you so much. Every day, every night, I miss you so much.”

Todoroki’s eyes widened a bit at your words, but remained silent again. His hands were still on your face, but he was no longer trying to stop your crying. You put your hands over his and smiled softly at how familiar it felt.

“Does she kiss like I used to kiss you?” you whispered. You laughed softly at your own words and shook your head. “Don’t-- don’t answer that. I understand how it is. I understand I was the one that let you go. So, just… just this once, Shoto, I just…”

You surprised both him and yourself by pressing your lips against his. But it felt like home, even if it wasn't supposed to be like this, even if he was already a lost cause. You pulled away, face flushed in embarrassment, but immediately felt his hand pulling you from the back of your head again. Todoroki kissed you intensely, his hand clasped around your hair. Soon enough, both your arms were around his neck and your body pressed against him, kissing him back.

A loud crash made you pull away, and by the laughs of your coworkers, it seemed someone had broken a liquor bottle. You looked back at your ex, the reality of your situation dawning on you. You wiped the trace of your lipstick from his lower lip and gave him a small smile.

"Sorry," you muttered, before turning back and leaving. This time, he was the one that let you go. Denki looked at you questioningly, his eyes darting from you to Todoroki. 'We just talked', you mouthed to him and he nodded, before taking your hand and pulling you to the dance floor.

-----

Three knocks on your apartment door were enough to wake you up. You looked at your phone and saw it was already 3 am. The party had lasted until midnight and then you had taken a cab to your place. Two glasses of water and an advil were enough to send you to sleep.

Someone knocked again and you groaned, forcing yourself to get up from your bed. Putting on a robe, you walked to your front door. You wished you hadn't the moment you saw the same half red half white hair and mesmerizing eyes looking back at you.

"... Todoroki, it's 3 am," you yawned. He stayed in silence and you rolled your eyes. "Seriously, I need to get some sleep, I am really tired."

"I came because I can't stop thinking about earlier," he confessed in a neutral tone. Your head snapped back to him, your eyes wide open and lips slightly parted.

"What d--" your sentence was cut short by Todoroki entering your apartment and kissing you on the lips. As if it were a drug, you kissed him back without restraint, not caring how loudly he shut the door behind him. In a few seconds he was carrying you, your legs hooked around his waist as the kiss continued, rough, desperately and filled with more passion than you had felt in the last year.

Your back hit the couch, and memories of laying with Todoroki after a long day of work or watching a movie together right in the same spot came to your mind. You pulled him closer, your legs still wrapped around his waist as your fingers worked to open his shirt. Todoroki got rid of it along with your robe quickly and let his hands wander underneath your pajamas. You let out a sigh when he closed his hands around your breasts. Was it delusional for you to have missed his touch this bad? You always joked that your body was made for him, but feeling his hands match exactly the size of your breasts only reinforced the idea. You took off your pajama top and threw it to the floor. Todoroki’s skin felt hot against yours, almost burning as he took a couple of seconds to look at you.

“I missed you,” you whispered. He smiled softly and kissed you softly, his lips grazing yours for the longest time, as if he wanted to make sure you were real.

“I missed you too,” he replied against your mouth. You drank the chuckle that followed and pulled him back for another kiss as you fumbled with his pants, who made their way to the floor along with the rest of your clothes.

Todoroki’s hand travelled between your legs, his fingers sliding between your wet folds. The moans coming from your mouth became louder as he pushed two fingers inside, feelings your walls tightening around him. He used his free hand to cradle your face, his eyes set on yours as you whimpered under his touch. His thumb drew circles around your clit and your moans started sounding like his name, like a soft prayer, like a welcome home.

Moments later, Todoroki was pushing his cock inside of you, and even if he had taken his time preparing you, the stretch burnt, making you remember how long it had been since the last time he made love to you. This time, you held his head between your hands, foreheads pressed together as he moved his hips against yours at a controlled pace, as if he were getting to know you all over again. You tried to match him with your hips, making him groan against your lips.

Todoroki kissed you and increased his rhythm. His lips devoured you passionately, his tongue dancing with yours as he thrusted in and out. His body knew you so well, it felt like it was claiming it back. It felt familiar, it felt safe, as if you didn’t need anything else to enjoy intimacy with you. Even if you had experimented different kinks with him the years you had been together, somehow it all went back to him. It never was the heterochromic eyes or the toned arms you tried to find in other people. It was never looking for men who were also dominant in bed or the quiet ones.

It was just Shouto. The one thing missing was always him.

It doesn’t take long for him to take you over the edge, and he follows shortly after, breath hitching against yours. Todoroki attempts to pull out, but your legs wouldn’t let him.

“Stay,” you whispered weakly and he nodded, pressing a soft kiss on your lips before resting his head on your chest.

Once his head is out of the way, you’re able to see your apartment once again. On the window in front of you, you can see the sun is going to rise any moment, yet all you think about is staying a bit longer with him. Maybe going out for breakfast to the old diner Shouto liked, and going for a stroll until--

Your eyes stop at the door, and the memory of him leaving a year ago comes back to your mind. Furrowing your eyebrows, you look back and see him lying with his eyes closed and calmed respiration. He was there. He came back. That had to mean something, right?

… It had to.

You caressed Shouto’s hair strands and he smiled softly, eyes fluttering as he looked back at you.

"Shouto…" you whispered, a knot forming on your throat. He took the hand you had on his hair and squeezed it gently.

"Hmm?"

"Shouto… you should go home."

This is my home, you yearned for him to say. I’m home, or maybe another way of him showing you how much you meant to him. How much he was willing to give up to be back in your arms for good.

You wanted desperately to know if your apartment was still a home for Shouto, if he still wanted to build something with you. Because if he did, if he really saw you as his home, then maybe you could--

Todoroki pulled out of you, ignoring the small gasp that left your lips. He stood up and quickly started dressing up, his back turned to you. You closed your eyes, but it still wasn't quick enough to not let a tear fall down your face. Even if you were quick at wiping it off, he never once looked back, not even before he disappeared behind your apartment front door.

Your ragged breath and whimpers emerged only once you thought he was far enough, covering your body with the robe that was laying next to you.

It still smelt like him.

You still smelt like him.

---

Todoroki looked at himself on the elevator mirror, trying to fix his hair the best he could, even if he didn't think he would run into anyone in the middle of the night.

'You should go home'.

Your words echoed inside his mind, as he kicked himself for not understanding it sooner. You had been clear enough for him to understand that wasn't his home anymore. It didn't matter how much you had just trembled beneath him, or the way you had looked at him with what he thought was love as he buried himself into you. He had fucked up, he had fucked up by leaving his true home more than a year ago, and now there wasn't a place for him anymore. He understood. He had to understand.

Even if it took him his entire life.

#todoroki x reader #bnha x reader #mha x reader #kinktober #kinktober 2020 #todoroki shoto x reader #todoroki shouto x reader #shoto todoroki x reader #shouto todoroki x reader #bnha todoroki #todoroki shouto #todoroki shoto #todoroki smut #todoroki #allie after hours

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monst · 4 years

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Autograph gone wrong…

All characters 18+

Kirishima Eijirou x Reader

Warnings: Sexy time actions, Exhibitionism, Dubcon, Your friend uses his quirk on you and well it didn’t get the right reaction…

Also this is a Thirst post and by no means anything good/super descriptive also it was written on my phone at work and I swear if I get in trouble Jo imma take a flight to England 😤😤😤 but yeah Forehead was butthurt that I cockblocked her so ig 🙄 It totally wasn’t my fault you can’t blame the time for saying Hey Monst Lunch is over! Where I left off is marked *** Also, It’s based off this:

Your lucky I love you @lady-bakuhoe 😤😤😤

Kirishima was headed home on the last train out when you just happened to spot him. He had been your favorite pro hero since his debut and simply put you were obsessed with him.

"Hey isn't that Red Riot?" You quickly looked away to focus on your friend. "Oh shit it is (Name) aren't you like his biggest fan?!! You should go ask for an autograph!"

Naturally you refused. You didn't want to be a bother on his limited time off. But your friend was relentless and threatened to use his quirk on you. Their quirk was wild and when activated a single touch was enough to transfer it and you were forced to speak and behave in all honesty.

"The next stop is my stop and you know that if you don't do it now I'll touch you.".....

Too bad you took too long to psych yourself into asking. Your friend stepped out of the train with a grin; content in leaving you in the wagon alone with the hero.

Your friend was too innocent! They didn't know the thoughts you had, the dirty things you wished to do to the hero! And your lip was going to be bruised by how hard you were biting it. You were mortified! If you spoke, lord knows what you'd say to him!?!?!

Your eyes raked over his form. Every inch of him was undeniably attractive. From his luscious red locks to his thick muscular body. You set your jaw when you caught his leg bouncing up and down. Up and down. The muscles on his thighs and calf flexing with each tap. You breathed in deeply through your mouth. And your lips parted.

"Damn your so fucking hot." You gasped.

"P-pardon?" He flushed.

"You look cute when you blush." 'Fuck (Name) shut up!' You yelled internally.

His face grew a darker shade of red and your feet drew you closer to him.

"Your my favorite hero you know that." You beamed your thighs clenching as you took in how massive he was. 'He's right in front of me!'

"Thank you." He smiled bashfully, his hand reaching up to scratch the back of his neck.

"I've always wondered how your quirk worked.... Can I ask you something?" You flushed.

"S-sure." He replied, politely.

"Does every part of you get hard when you activate your quirk?"

Kirishima sputtered eyes wide and unbelievably. His lips parted various times to form words but they were lost in his throat when you got closer. And the bouncing of his leg increased.

"So when you're fighting villains" you paused to lick your lips "are you hard?"

By now you were leaning over him. His large eyes looked adorably innocent looking up at you. And when your hand touched his thigh you felt him jump.

"Relax~" The pads of your fingers ran up the thick muscles and you moaned. "Your so thick"

Kirishima gulped harshly. "You'll tell me if I'm going to far right?" You asked innocently. He only nodded dumbly cheeks lit aflame as you had whispered it into his too hot ear.

If possible his eyes grew wider when you lowered yourself onto his meaty leg. "Can you make this hard for me baby? I wanna see my hero in action." You pouted moving your hips against his thigh.*** Kirishima didn’t know what to do! His hands were glued to his sides he didn't know whether to put them on you or not. He was so confused. You were standing by your friend meek and mild not so long ago!?!? What happened!?!?

He hadn’t ever had someone come onto him like this. He felt so powerless despite being a hero. Was he supposed to stop you? Fuck he didn't want to stop you. Not when he could feel the heat of your cunt pressing against his thigh. His jaw went slack when he heard you moan. And without thinking he hardened his leg in encouragement.

"Oh fuck yeah." You hummed, feeling your cunt throb every time your clit caught onto a particular ridge on his hardened leg. When you let out a loud whimper Kirishima's eyes widened and he looked around in panic.

"Mmm There's no one here" you purred dropping your hand down into your panties. He swallowed thickly; red eyes watching as you brought up your slick covered fingers. "Seeing you in action does this to me Red Riot~"

The red head gasped his cock pulsing at the sound of his hero name being said in such lewd fashion. And when your stuck them in your mouth and allowed him to hear the wet slurping sounds he felt hot. Too hot, It was getting extremely hot. And unconsciously he began to bounce his leg up and down to distract himself. He didn't want to touch you just in case this was a gag.

"Hnngghh" the sound was sinful and it made him throb anxiously. "P-please" he whined. He didn't even know what he was pleading for. For you to stop? For you to keep going? It was all lost on him. All he could think of was how with every roll of your hips his thigh grew damper and his cock pulsed with need.

To make matters worse you had slid down his leg to hump his calf. Your soft breast pressed against his knee; while your nails dug into his leg. You looked so dirty. So primitive humping his leg with need. Why the fuck was he turned on? Why could he say anything to-

"Hah~" Kirishima hissed. His head went back when you had palmed his clothes length abruptly. You whistled lowly at the hot girth in your grasp.

"You're bigger than I imagined." You panted while squeezing down on his hardened length. "As I-I thought ah~ you do get turned on when you use your quirk"

He wanted to deny your claims it wasn't true he didn't get off to fighting villans and using his quirk but when he parted his lips:

"N-onngggg f-fuck." He gasped.

"Who would have guessed that you were secret pervert." You mewled; a grin stretching your lips when you felt him thrust up into your palm.

"Yeah t-thats it get off on my hand you slutty hero." The sound he made had you grinding down on his leg harder.

"P-please I-I I'm nngh" he panted; his eyes watering at your degrading words. He didn't even know he was into that! But your words had him ready to burst. He'd never been this close to cumming in such a short period of time.

"Are you g-gonna cum? Do it Red Riot cum for me cum for your b-biggest fan" you keened. Kirishima's eyes rolled back when your moans grew louder and more consistent.

"Ah! Yes! Fuck I'm gonna cum! I'm gonna cum right on your leg nngh you want that right? You want me to cum on your leg like a horny bitch." You ranted incoherently.

"Yes!" Kirishima groaned; his hand grabbing yours to press it harder against his cock. His thrusts against your palm grew choppy and short until he stilled; a choked moan slipping past his parted lips.

The sight above you sent you tumbling into your own orgasm and you clenched his leg tightly as you cried out his hero name. The both of you stood there trying to catch your breath. All was silent except for the sound of the train running along the tracks.

It was then that you finally came to. Your eyes widening in horror. 'I did not!' You shrieked internally. You dared a look up and your face grew hot at the flustered expression on the pro heroes face. Your jaw dropped, you had no words. Jeez you were beyond embarrassed! Before either of you could speak your saving grace was heard.

The train stopped and announced the stop before yours and you wasted no time in booking it out of there with a couple of hasty apologies. Kirishima stood to go up after you his arm outstretched. But when the cold air hit his crotch he flushed and covered the damp sticky spot. By the time he looked up again you were gone and the doors had closed.

When he got off at the next stop he realized that your wallet had fallen out of your pocket. He opened it to check for an ID

(Name) (LastName) Quirk: Liquid sin, also known as Seductive voice…

"That explains a lot" he mused. Kirishima had many questions and he was sure to visit you to get them answered.

"That's funny we live on the same block…."

#Thirsty bitch juice #eijirou kirishima #kirishima x reader #kirishima smut #kirishima eijirou x reader #bnha smut #Jo your such a petty brat 😂😂😂💕

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nightswithkookmin · 3 years

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GOING ON A HIATUS

Thanks to everyone who's taken the time out to read my posts and has enjoyed it so far. It's really been fun and entertaining exchanging thoughts and having these much deeper ship discussions.

I thought this issue was gonna go away but I woke up this morning to more people messaging me about finding my last video analysis on several other platforms without appropriate credit.

But that's not disturbing. The disturbing part is the people sliding into people's DM'S on other platforms to get them to take down my video because they don't want people sharing my content on other platforms as they believe it would only make my blog popular.

For those worried about this whole credit business, thanks for showing this much concern for me? I really appreciate the love and concern if it's from a genuine place of concern. Thank you...

I think some of you already know this by now or might have figured it out, I am a law student, I am very much well aware what is and what isn't within my rights? Lol

I honestly didn't see this whole credit thingy as a big deal. It's not. Not to me. Lol. I repost people's photos without credit too all the time. Often, it's because I don't know who to credit and most time my lazy ass just forgets to. Lol. I think it's normal? It's inconsequential I mean.

The videos I use are usually often water marked by the appropriate owners so I don't go through the hustle of figuring this whole credit business out. If I should decide to come back here again I will check that habit of mine?

While this whole credit business is not a big deal to me, malicious slander and defamation to my character is and I don't take it lightly.

It has been brought to my attention that some Jikookers from Tumblr have since been sliding into people's DM's on other platforms asking them to take down my video and or remove the credit they give to my post.

They are telling people I am problematic, calling me the Taekook Lives of the Jikook community. That I have been spreading lies about Jikook, that the Jikook Tumblr community hates me or something like that and to further caricaturize me and make me appear more evil in order to get people to turn on me and hate me, they make up the most ridiculous lies about me claiming that I believe a notorious serial killer is innocent.

Now I have since deleted my YT account because I don't want my colleagues to find out I am into shipping too lol- shipping is a guilty pleasure of mine and I know how this fandom works unfortunately. I've been a silent part of it since 2014. I mean it's started already. The Doxing and shit.

The original post under which these replies are from couldn't save sadly as my account has been deleted but you can see from my notifications the general feel of what my interests outside shipping looks like.

I am interested in a myriad of topics, from literature, Aliens, writing, Harry Potter, history, activism, advocacy, philosophy, law, politics, NASA, and mystery and murder among other things.

My quora is mostly filled with notifications from my Book community and True crime community and often I do share my thoughts and answer questions with regards to the psychology of murderers, legal evidence, notorious villains in literature- well I guess now you know the kind of lawyer I want to be if and when I'm able to complete law school.

But what has my interest in these topics got to do with Jikook and shipping please?? How does this prove I hate Jikook and spread lies about them?

This Kookie Min Monsta person slipped into someone's DMS and asked the person who had put up my video analysis to take it down or discredit me because to her I am problematic. She is not the only one.

You want so bad to paint me black- no pun intended just to win an argument? You claim I am the evil malicious person here but I am not the one sliding into people's dms trying to take credit away from people for their hardwork, spreading hate and negative energy, making things up to manipulate people's perception of others and get them to hate and turn on them- and all because of A SHIP? Damn. This is pathetic.

Who died and made you the gatekeeper of the jikook shipping community? Honestly antics like these don't work on me try again.

I made a video commentary on my Booktube YT account- yes I am part of the book YouTube community as well sue me or better still slip into their inboxes and tell them I voted for Trump therefore I hate chipmunks.

The commentary I made on YT months ago was when I was in the highs of finding a new passion and it was on Ann Rule's book, The Stranger Besides Me- a true crime novel on Ted Bundy which I found so poorly written that at the end of the book it left with me wondering whether or not Ted Bundy was guilty at all!

The Author's writing style which deviates from most writing styles of True Crime novels I have read gave me trust issues as I stated in the video. It felt more as if she was writing a made up fictional novel than an actual True Crime novel but because she knew Ted Bundy in person she made it seem as if we just had to believe her account.

Then there was this whole thing about the police not being able to match the DNA samples taken from his rape victims, to his own Semen because his Semen was DNAless- in lay man's terms. I'll spare you the technicalities involved.

As I stated in that video, I do believe Ted Bundy was guilty but I do not have much faith in the Judicial system, or criminal procedures or even the Author of that book- a sentiment most people within the true crime community share as well. We just had differing views on whether the writer's style took away from the narrative and waters down on the extent of Bundy's guilt.

We had a Similar conversation about Chris Watt. If the community I was engaging in didn't have a problem with my commentary why do you? Please don't meddle in things you know nothing about. It's embarrassing.

The conversation about whether or not Ted Bundy is innocent is moot but a philosophical one. It has nothing to do with Ted Bundy's guilt but more so the criminal procedures involved in his case and the different accounts that exists surrounding his case.

He was electrocuted, he confessed to his crimes no damn person with brains would think or assume he is innocent and I never said anything of that nature drew any conclusions to that effect.

Besides, I moved on from Ted Bundy a long time ago. Now I am into the Serial Killer who writes death poems and signs it off with drawings of the size of his dick at his crime scenes- mind your own business please or don't and let's have an intellectual discourse about him? Lmho.

I am also into cat memes if you care to know and have a whole IG dedicated to cat memes. I believe human beings are the most dumbest species in all the galaxies and when the Aliens arrive I am snitching.

When my mind is at rest, I often wonder if Aliens have masculinity complex and if they do whether or not their masculinity is contingent on the size of their dicks or whether they have to engage in a battle to the death with an alien grizzly bear to determine who is the man.

I love BTS memes too- a little too much and often end up debating over the internet with random people over whether BTS memes are funnier than cat memes- I'm weird, true. But how does all of that make me a bad person?

It's crazy how these people can go on these other platforms to ask people to take down the credits to my posts as well as my posts itself but can't ask people who run to these other platforms with misinterpretations of my work to take those down.

Instead they come on here to call me out for people's interpretations of my work?? It doesn't work that way. You are the author of your own opinion and interpretation of other people's work. You don't call out the original author for someone's opinion of their work. If that were so I would be emailing Stephanie Meyer for Anna Todd and her After series. Get some education.

I have since blocked this person and others whose Tumblr I have been able to find thanks to all those that's helped me finding them on here.

My gf also tried reaching out to the persons who shared my post after we realised this was becoming an issue and had asked them to credit her or my blog- but honestly I don't care about that yet she won't give it a rest. Lol. My ride or die this one. Sigh.

However, we realized soon that this is not about 'stealing' credit- can't call someone out for not giving credit when I suck at that myself. Lol.

This is about people's malicious intentions and their attempts to silence me and take away my right to freedom of expression however way that they can. This is wrong and evil.

I honestly don't care for all these ship politics these people are engaged in. I've had enough intelligent conversations to know the distinction between arguments that flows from bruised egos and actual conversations around a subject matter.

This whole I am right, she is wrong politics... y'all get that the point of having an opinion is not to be right, right? We all cant have the same perspective and you can't call someone a liar for holding views that is different from yours. That is a bizarre mentality to have.

As I stated in my post, that content I made was a rebuttal to the Taekook theories running around on the internet alleging JK glared at Tae when he pulled on his shoulder because he was jealous Tae and Jin were having fun behind him. He wasn't. He was worried Tae was gonna expose him and JM holding hands behind Suga.

If you don't think they were holding hands then Taekookers were right and his reaction was because he was Jealous of Taejin I guess...

But thats your truth. That's not my truth. I don't believe Taekook is real. JK isn't jealous of Taejin he is not Twelve- but then again he was sneaking around behind Suga holding his boyfriend's hands so I guess he is twelve? Lol. Jikook!

Do you.

But please stop the evil malicious attacks and seek immediate help. There is such a thing as right and wrong and this is just plain wrong. Your Karma and chakra are in the negative nodes and you need to fix it. It is not funny anymore.

Thank you to everyone who has shown genuine concerns for me in the past few days and thank you so much for trying to stand up for me. There are good people on here and I have met and interacted with a lot of them and thank you so much for such a wonderful experience and insightful discussions.

I don't hate people because of our differences in thoughts, beliefs, opinions. There's always room for dissenting opinions in every sphere. At the very least, we can agree to disagree and shake on it. But You can't make up shit about people just to prove your opinion is right and their opinions and views which differ from yours are 'wrong.

I am not a victim though, and they are not bullies, psst. They are just vile pathetic human beings exposing the greens of their insides. What you do says more about who you are as a person and human being. And this is who they are.

Just be a nice decent human being. That's what this world needs. Fix whatever is broken inside of you and free your mind and spirit. Hate is never the answer.

I'm going to be away for a while because I have studies, work and other interests I want to pursue at the moment- it's just my AADD flaring up so if you see me henceforth raving about Nana at least you'd know why. Lol. She's wrecking my Jimin bias. Lmho.

Spread positivity, do the right thing, stand up for a good cause and keep supporting Jikook. Jikook is real.

Until we meet again.

Signed,

GOLDY

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thedetectivessay · 3 years

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Highlights from the Fan Meeting

(took longer than planned. sorry..)

So, there were definitely A LOT of people watching during the event. At one point, it reached 26k viewers - but it could have been higher than that. They were also broadcasting through VLive so there were more.

There was an earlier interview thing that was reposted later on on Instagram. I’m not sure if that was something exclusive to SK viewers or if it really was just a private interview (saw a news outlet’s watermark somewhere; Yonhap News’, I think).

Either way, in that interview, Cho PD participated. He wasn’t there for the international fan meet, though.

Anyway, here are the highlights in a (mostly) chronological order:

• During the opening, the cast were introduced. Jaesuk or the MC did mention straight off the bat that this will be the final season.

• Sejeong roasted Kwangsoo because of his hair 😂 It’s currently very long because he and Sehun had been filming for Pirates 2; Sehun’s hair was long-ish as well. But yeah - he got the most teasing because his hair is as long as Sejeong’s now lol

• Okay, I gotta mention this: Jongmin was DRESSED TO THE T. He looked so nice, but it was so cute! He was just so determined to impress the international fans present. It just showed how much he cared about us and about how we felt about him.

So yes: if you haven’t yet, give Jongmin some love.

He was also asked at one point who he felt the closest to among the cast members, and y’all - he hesitated 😭😭 It was obvious he wanted to say he felt the closest to Sejeong, but he got scared because he thought the fans who were there might get mad at him 😭

But Sejeong, being the sweetheart that she is, kept encouraging him to pick her anyway by throwing hearts at him 🥰

Y’all, what are we gonna do once this show is over? This brOTP is the best when it came to roasting people! And they act like fr siblings 😭😭

• On the same question, after Jongmin did pick Sejeong, Kwangsoo made a remark, saying that he thought Jongmin was going to choose him. He looked hurt 😂

Side note: are we finally getting more Jongmin and Kwangsoo scenes this season?? 😃

• Not that long after, they played a game. Three of the cast members were chosen prior to the meet to draw a picture summarizing an episode. The rest had to guess where it was from.

Kwangsoo was the first to go, and his clue - drawn nicely - pointed to S1EP5, The Last Vampire. Jaesuk was the first one to solve it, mentioning that it was the episode Park Hae-jin was in.

Seunggi was next, and it took the cast a while to figure out which episode it is. Can’t remember who solved it or if Seunggi just gave them the answer, but it was depicting one of the final scenes in S2EP10, The Flower of Death. It was that part where they were in Flower Killer’s hideout, when he finally told them who he really was while standing over Minjae.

Kwangsoo afterwards said he was surprised by how terrible(?) Seunggi’s drawing skills were. Seunggi just laughed.

Sejeong was next. She drew the detective team (beautifully, btw), and underneath the picture were the words versus + seven silhouettes with question marks on their faces.

Kwangsoo praised Sejeong for her great drawing skills, and the cast agreed.

The cast eventually figured out which episode, but they were hesitant to really speak of it.

It was then revealed that it’s an episode/case where the detective team faces off with a copycat team. We will see this and find out who the copycat seven are in S3.

• Afterwards, they did this thing where a roulette chooses one of the members, the MC reads the messages written to them by fellow cast members, and they guess who they think it’s from.

I’ll probably make another post later for this if you guys want since I can’t remember everything that was said, but basically...

> Jaesuk received messages from Sehun and Seunggi. Can’t remember what Seunggi said, but Sehun pretty much just thanked Jaesuk for teaching him 10% of what he needed to know about variety (he said the other 90% he learned himself lol)

> Seunggi received messages from Sehun and Minyoung.

> Kwangsoo received messages from Jaesuk and Sejeong. Jaesuk said in his message that he highly valued him and Jongmin - and he asked them to stay with him forever (😭)

Meanwhile, Sejeong said that she’s thankful and sorry to Kwangsoo. When asked what she was sorry about, she said it was because she knew there were moments when it needed to be funny, and Kwangsoo would make a fool of himself to make that happen.

(Side note: she interacted a lot with Kwangsoo this fan meet, too, so I have hope that I will also get the Kwangsoo and Sejeong brOTP scenes I’ve been asking for 🙌🏼)

> Minyoung received messages from Jaesuk and Jongmin.

> Jongmin received messages from Kwangsoo and Sejeong (my other brOT3 😭❤��)

> Sehun received messages from Jongmin and Minyoung. Jongmin said in his message that he was sorry to Sehun because he didn’t (couldn’t?) take care of him better.

> Sejeong received messages from Jaesuk and Minyoung. Minyoung asked somewhere in her message for them to have a drink together some time, while Jaesuk asked Sejeong if she could help Kwangsoo land a role in her current drama 😂

Kwangsoo then revealed that Jaesuk always does that: whenever he meets with his friends and other celebrities, he always asks them to cast Kwangsoo in their drama or movie. The cast laughed.

Seunggi then mentioned afterwards that he’s currently working on a new drama or movie (not sure which one), and he offered Kwangsoo the role of a mouse lol

• That was then followed by the Thank You messages from the fans. Some of you may be aware of this, but about a week and a half ago, on IG, the Busted Netflix official account asked fans to submit a 10 second video of themselves saying “Thank you, Team Busted!” in their native language.

It was so cute, you guys! It just showed how much the cast and crew were loved by many all over the world.

Although: there was one fan from Sweden or Norway who had a whole PROJECT D MARK HANGING ON HIS WALL. THE SAME ONE HANGING OUTSIDE THE MAZE IN C’S LAIR IN THE SERIES PREMIERE.

Where did he get that?? I want one, I’m so jealous!! ☹️

• The fan meeting closed with messages from the cast. Most of them seemed so tired at this point, but Jaesuk proved to be the best leader the cast/team could ask for even in the end.

I mentioned this on the first update, but he said he felt sad that the series was coming to an end especially since the cast had such great chemistry. It was heartwarming to hear because it personally gave me a sense of closure.

To hear a cast member address the feelings a number of us feel is comforting, you know?

• The fan meet ended with bouquets of flowers (non-threatening kind 😏😉) and gift bags for the cast! They were all so pleasantly surprised, and it was so cute.

Netflix seemed to be aware that the awards season just finished in SK, so they gave each of the members their own trophies bearing personalized awards! It was a weighty trophy, too; the cast commented on it.

I don’t know what the other members received, but Sejeong, I think, got the Bright Future Award.

Myuk PD later posted on his IG pictures of this big gift bag that Netflix apparently gave him and the other PDs. One of the gifts they received contained a pair of wine glasses with an electric bottle opener in the middle. It was so classy and nice.

Bro - no one can say that Netflix didn’t love the detective team and the creators of the show. They threw all kind of love and attention on them, and they didn’t skimp on the gifts and ads either.

There are other points from that earlier interview I was talking about, but I’ll put that on a separate post if you’re interested :)

Detective Fam! There’s literally only two days before the final season drops! For those of you who live on the Eastern hemisphere, it’s just one day and some change!

Season 3!! Are you guys excited??!

#update #Busted Netflix fan meet #Yoo Jae Suk #Kim Jong Min #Lee Kwang Soo #Lee Seung Gi #Park Min Young #Oh Sehun #Kim Sejeong #Busted Netflix

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billyboymiki · 3 years

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5 Works Tag Game

Rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 (ish) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and post or link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

I got tagged by @tippenfunkaport and @caramelaire for this tag game!!

I’m not one to compliment myself on anything honestly. Recently I remember thinking about how I barely drew anything this year. There was a part of my brain nagging at me to check how much I had drawn last year. So, I uh did. Turns out I drew basically nothing?! I triple checked this in fact. My DeviantART, Tumblr AND my camera roll. Nothing . . . I drew 5 very basic pinback button designs and that was it. I couldn’t believe it; but, it made be feel so much better about what I did this year. Basically my whole instagram is all artwork from this year, since I am actually really new to IG. I got super close to 40 works this year!

Now onto the works! They are in order of when I drew them 😊

Glimmer Inspired Patterns

I wanted to teach myself how to make patterns on Clip Studio so bad! I watched a couple of YT tutorials, and I can’t even remember why I decided to make She-ra ones specifically; I’m glad I did though! The Glimmer one means so much to me. Just looking at makes me so happy! The fact that so many people have now called it ‘aesthetically pleasing’ makes me feel as though I actually created a work that others could relate to. That was enough praise for me; to create something for myself that everyone else loved as well 💖

Glimbow Cuddle

This was my first real She-ra artwork. When I saw there was a Glimbow Week again I knew I had to join this one. I don’t know if anyone knows this; but, drawings take me forever to make. I used to be strictly a traditional artist and still prefer to draw rough drafts on paper. I couldn’t decide if I wanted them on Glimmer’s window seat or in Bow’s dads’ library. I was afraid of doing backgrounds; so, both sounded absolutely terrifying. I decided to go for the fireplace even if it meant fancy lighting on top of the background aspect. I think I actually spent more time on the lighting that’s hitting Bow than on anything else in this picture. It was worth it though. I studied how the show did backgrounds and lighting for a while. I tried so many different attempts at how I wanted it to look and ultimately went with this one! I love it so much 🥺

Bow’s list with doodles

Ah, yes the drawings I did for Tippen’s birthday!! I knew I wanted to draw a scene from ‘Tuna Cans’, but I was worried to try something like this. You see, I’m somebody that likes to stay in a comfort zone and only uploaded fully rendered perfect artworks. This year was the first time that I let the ‘fun’ aspect overrule my perfectionism. I’m so happy that I stepped out of my comfort zone for this, because I love Chibi styles so much. I can’t even explain the absolute joy I had drawing these. I didn’t tell anyone what I was up to, so it was just me laughing at myself for being an absolute goofball. The end result and everyone’s reactions were more than I could have ever expected. I’ve decided I’m going to revive this style soon as well so please look forwards to it!!

Space Suit Squad

Okay, so I cheated a little with this one! I couldn’t just pick ONE of the squad. Honestly though, I drew these with the thought of making them into prints in the back of my mind. I taught myself how to draw a space background and I’m really proud of it! So much in fact that the one in the final pictures is the first and last one I ended up doing! If I had to pick my favorites I think I’d have to pick Glimmer, Bow and then Catra. I LOVE the way I draw Catra I don’t know why? Maybe the eyebrows I’m not sure 🤔 It took me a while to decide on expressions and poses; although, I figured these were the ones because I could look at them and go ‘yep that’s them.’

Winter Glimbow

This one took me soooo long; I actually had to tell myself that I should put my pen down because it was done and I should stop touching it!!! I was sketching pictures in my sketchbook to make more patterns for my Redbubble account, and of course I’m like 100% Glimbow brainrot. My brain went, oooo you know what would be cute? If this skate was actually Bow’s and not just generic. So, I ended up sketching Glimmer’s as well. The heart that their skates make is like the cherry on the top for me, it had to be done! I’m not sure I did the background justice on this one? It doesn’t matter to me though because the concept was worth the effort. It was snowing here and I needed this picture like I needed air, even if it wasn’t even December at the time I posted it 🤣 I liked this one so much that I have similar ideas for the other seasons sketched out as well 👀

I’m sorry that I ramble so often. I’m like this quiet person; yet, it’s hard for me to get out everything I want to say? I’m horrible at it actually my brain runs at a hundred miles a minute and I’m not good with words most of the time. This turned out as more of a thought process than my actual feelings on each one I suppose. SO, in conclusion. I drew A LOT, I stepped out of my comfort zone, taught myself digital art and patterns. I let myself come to terms with the fact that not every piece of art has to be ‘perfect’. I drew at least 5 FULL backgrounds and I never used to draw them! I’ve also always been one for simple shading and lighting, and I do think there’s a time for that type of style, while other times sometimes a more difficult one might be appropriate. I’m glad that I did both because now I know I can do both, and they each give a characteristic that I adore 🥰 Thank you to everyone that has followed me through this journey, or just anyone who read my rambling! I have an honorable mention under the cut and some originals for anyone that made it this far! 💖

I’m not going to tag anyone; but, if you want to do this PLEASE do it. It was so great to reflect on what I did this year, it really surprised me and I think what you have done will surprise you as well! It’s been a rough year, and in the end we have been here supporting each other and that’s one of the most rewarding parts of being in a fandom! 💜

Glimmer screencap redraw

Another picture where I really tested myself on drawing a background! I love it even if it killed my hand!! The background definitely took the longest on this one too. My sister literally said ‘Wait, you did the background? I thought you just drew her?!’ And that was the only validation I needed!! I ended up thinning out Glimmer’s outline so she matched the background better. If you use the vectors on Clip please use this feature! You can do the opposite as well, it’s super useful!

Oh hi! Remember when I said I couldn’t decide between the two locations? Truth is, I also couldn’t decide if I was going to make it traditional or digital. I ended up getting really mad at the traditional version unfortunately. I haven’t gotten the hang of traditional backgrounds. In the end, I should have also done it in Copic and not cheap pencil crayons 😫

Just some space friends! There is something so rewarding about traditional art. Yes, I can see the mistakes and the proportions are most likely off; yet, it doesn’t bother me? I wanted to also show these bonus drawings because nobody is perfect and I thought some of you might like to see some of my process. Being able to hold it in my hands is something I will never tire of, in a way it’s super rewarding. I keep all my art actually and sometimes I like the rough drafts more than the finished work 👀 Outlining artwork can actually ruin the charm every so often 😔 I do really love the final versions of these though!

Annnnnd the last bonus!! As you can tell the final version stayed pretty true to my sketches! I almost went with a more realistic look and made the symbols ‘stitched’ onto the skates. In the end it felt like it didn’t fit the rest of the drawing unless I wanted to add extra details to the clothing as well. The wings on Glimmer’s skates turned into ‘Shwings’ PLEASE tell me other people know what that is? I had a pair a few years ago and misplaced them. I was doing the rough draft and it popped into brain and I treated it as a joke at first, until I gave it a proper chance XD In the end I fell in love with it!!!

#she-ra #spop #fanart #tag game #billyboymiki #Miki speaks #long post #sorry #my art #I actually cried a little writing all of this 😱#the only thing I wanted to do really bad this year was make an spop amv #I might juggle art and making one so I can get one out at some point

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revisionaryhistory · 3 years

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Three Days ~ 59

~*~Emma~*~

The lake had been fun. It was initially awkward, but after we loaded into the boat and were underway it got better. I snagged a spot up front in the bow. I was joined by three girls, now women, I’d known well in high school. We started by talking about our current lives and by the time we'd found a spot to anchor we were telling old stories and laughing through our memories. Once the four of us had reconnected the others were easy with conversations and groupings overlapping. An hour later it felt like old times. There were lots of pictures taken and we were texting them to each other immediately. I posted some on Instagram and sent some directly to Sebastian. I had no problem posting bikini-clad pictures of me in a group, but solo went only to him. I've never been one for posting me. It's usually an activity with people.

There was a dock near the southeast border of the lake for gassing up and they had a sandwich shop. Sandwich included hot dogs, hamburgers, french fries, and onion rings. We decided to eat at the picnic tables. Stowing food was more to pack up and could stink. We were relaxing and waiting for the last ones to finish when my notification went off. Chris Evans was asking permission to follow my account. Interesting. Approved. Not a minute later so was Chace Crawford. Also approved, but with a snarky DM about his pickup lines. He'd hit on me at Kirk's wedding. Very unsuccessfully.

Emma ~ Tell Chris hi and nice to meet him.

Sebastian ~ We’re not talking about you. Much. Ok, we are. Sebastian ~ We're mostly looking at pictures.

Emma ~ The ones on your phone are much better than IG

Sebastian ~ Chace will be the one to figure that out.

Chris DM'd me, “Can't wait to meet you in person. Hearing very sweet things.”

I sent back, "A few are true. He exaggerates."

"Yeah, he's got a huge crush on you."

"Nice to know."

We watched sunset out on the water. It was beautiful. The haze and clouds made for muted pinks, purples, blues, and grays. I took a dozen of those hoping to catch the perfect one. I was in a group of people, but the sunset had me feeling lonely. It was fleeting and I was back into the party spirit quickly.

Amy thought it was a good idea to take everyone back to our house for a pool party. I did not agree. Our parents were home babysitting their granddaughter and we were about to invade with a hoard of drunk friends. All of whom were inviting more and asking them to pick up booze. It felt very high school and in need of at least a phone call. However, it was Amy’s idea and no one wanted to hear from me last night. I wouldn’t be calling ahead.

I went inside to go to the bathroom and ran into dad. "What's all that noise we just got Katie in bed?"

"Amy invited some friends back to the pool."

"You’re teenagers again."

"Seems like it."

"Try and keep it down."

"I will tell her." Not my party. Not my crowd control. I did my business and went back outside. Amy was making out with Max in the pool. I tapped on her head, breaking their kiss, "Dad said to keep it down."

They went back to kissing. I'd deemed my message delivered and headed to the bar, putting in the code and retrieving a bottle of tequila. When I stood up, I was surprised to see Kai on the other side of the bar. Kai was the boyfriend who broke up with me after rehab. Kai's hands were shoved in the pockets of his swim shorts. He nodded toward the group, "Amy said you'd be ok with me coming. I wanted to check."

My current plan for Amy’s death was drowning. She was already in the pool after all. I pasted a less than genuine smile on my face, "It's fine, Kai. It was a long time ago. How are you?"

Kai was very southern lawyer attractive. Thinking back, he always had been. "I’m good. I did become a lawyer. Work for a firm here in Alpharetta. I got married three years ago. Her name is Melanie. We're expecting a baby in January."

"Congratulations. That’s wonderful."

He nodded, "Thank you. What are you up to?"

"I teach first grade, love it. I play in a volleyball rec league. My best friend's in a band so I go into the city and visit. My boyfriend lives there too."

Kai laughed, "I might have heard about him."

"I bet. He's a good guy. Lots of fun and good to me.”

"Better than I was, I’m sure."

Ah! This was going to be some sort of apology. I cringed and pulled up my shades for a second, "Well Kai, you did break up will me three days after I got back from rehab. You kinda failed at supportive boyfriend."

"Yeah, I did. Sorry. In hindsight, it was a shitty thing to do. Bad timing and a lie of a reason."

"I knew that."

"Sorry. I’ve always felt guilty."

I smiled, "It was a long time ago, Kai. We've grown up. We're both doing well."

"I wish we could go back to friends again. We were friends since middle school."

I don't think he realized that made it worse. We’d been friends before we were anything else and none of that mattered when he left me. It didn’t matter to me now. “I stopped being angry with you a very, very long time ago, Kai. Forgave you for leaving me when I needed you. But there’s no reason for us to be friends now. I come back a couple of times a year. You and I are strangers now. And while I have forgiven you, I’d never trust you again.” His guilt is not a reason for me to welcome him back into my life.

“Wow.” He looked surprised.

I smiled, “I wish nothing but the best for you.” I leaned back to see under the bar and brought up a couple of glasses. “Drink to old times?”

He looked surprised again. “Yeah, Em.”

“Good.” I poured the tequila and tapped my glass against his. “To happy memories and years of fun times.”

We both drank and he walked around to my side of the bar. It was my turn to be surprised when he hugged me, “I wish nothing but the best for you too, Emma.”

I patted his back, “Thank you.”

Kai let go and walked back toward the pool.

I tell you what, this has been the strangest visit I’ve ever had and that’s saying a lot. I’m starting to get paranoid about what the next three days are going to bring. I poured another tequila and questioned my decision to not hop back on a plane last night. I could be home in my bed or in the city tucked into Sebastian’s bed waiting for him to get home or out with Eli and Angie. All preferable to this mixed bag of what the fuck.

I hung out for another hour before letting Amy I was heading to bed. Family day was supposed to start at about noon. That gave me time to sleep in a little, go for a run, and shower before arrivals started. Of course, because I had time to sleep in, I woke up at my normal time. I texted Sebastian, saying good morning, and was pleasantly surprised when his face showed up on my phone.

“It’s morning, but good is a stretch.”

He looked a little rough, but still handsome. “Good night with the boys?”

Sebastian nodded then winced, “Very.” He filled me in on his night. There’d been lots of laughs and he gave me back story on any conversations. I liked watching him talk. In his hungover state, he was less animated than usual, but his expressions and eyes still conveyed a range of emotions. I laughed at the late-night stories. My favorite was Chris edging between Chace and Sebastian in the bathroom, sharing a urinal with Seb because he couldn’t wait.

My stories weren’t nearly as funny. It’s possible things got out of hand after I’d gone to bed. I’m sure Amy would fill me in. I told him about the conversation with Kai.

“Ouch, you’re tough.”

I rolled to my side, putting the phone against the pillow, “It’s not my responsibility to ease his guilt.”

“True.”

“If we were going to be around each other my response might have been different, but there’s no reason. Haven’t seen him in twelve years, likely won’t for at least that long. We talked at the party, laughed. We’re just not going to be friends.”

“No, no, I get it.” He was shaking his head. “I think you might still be a little angry.”

I laughed, “Maybe I should have been less direct. I wasn’t expecting to see him. More indifferent than angry.”

“I don’t know if you should have. I just don’t want to be on the receiving end of your directness. The indifferent version.” He smiled with his using my word instead of his “angry”. “You were pretty direct with Drew in the bar too. I like you having a little bite.” He looked like he was thinking and I stayed quiet. “You are incredibly kind until you’re not. I mean, I think you give everyone the benefit of the doubt, but once they cross over the line where you don’t trust them you have no problem putting them in their place. That’s a good thing. Sometimes people don’t deserve the benefit of the doubt.”

“Ed tells me I let people get away with too much.”

“Do you think so?”

“Sometimes. I can give too many chances. It all depends on how much I care about someone and the size of the bad behavior. I think I’m usually direct and kind at the same time, but when I’ve had enough, I’ve had enough.”

“I tend to sugar coat too much. Then get pissy when nothing changes and sometimes it’s because I wasn’t clear.”

Now I had a question. “Are you sugar-coating and think I was mean to Kai?”

“I was imagining being on the receiving end. I wouldn’t have liked it, but, no, I don’t think you were mean.”

“You’d have to fuck up a lot.” Sebastian’s opinion was important. “I’m direct with the good stuff too.”

“I know you are.” His blue eyes lit up with his smile. “I always know where I stand, how you feel.”

Not always. Not right now. “You read me bedtime stories when I’m sad.”

“And you ask me what I need when I’m anxious.”

“Quite the pair.”

“Yes, we are.”

We just looked at each other for a long time. “Your flight is at three.”

“Twelve, moved up to squeeze in a dinner tonight.”

I looked at the time on my phone, “You need to get to the airport.”

“Yeah.” He turned the camera where I could see his bags. “All packed. I’ll call you when I get back to the hotel for our date.”

Our phone sex date. I smiled and kissed my screen, “I’ll talk to you later.”

“Definitely.”

I laid in bed for a few more minutes, just enjoying being happy, before I got up and got dressed to go for a run. Mom and dad were already downstairs having coffee. I walked around the table, kissing both of their cheeks, “I’m going for a run before everyone gets here.”

Mom nodded over her cup, “How late was everyone here last night?”

I shrugged, “I went to bed about ten. Long day in the sun and then old friends showing up. I was done. Kai showed up. That was less than fun.”

“You left your sister to manage all your friends?”

Notice how they failed to ask how I was after an unexpected visit from my ex-boyfriend. I know I did. I thought about the conversation with Sebastian and what he’d said about some people not deserving the benefit of the doubt. The other night was the first time I’d been so confrontational with my parents in a very long time. Like since I was sixteen right before I moved to Seattle. I took a deep breath and tried to pull in some of the calmness I’d had upstairs in bed. “Guys, we’re almost thirty, not thirteen. Hopefully, we’ve grown out of getting so drunk we knock over patio furniture and throw up in the pool. If not, they are Amy’s problem. They are her friends, not mine. She invited them over. I haven’t seen most of these people for over ten years. And are you telling me in addition to not talking too much about my boyfriend or anything else that makes me happy, I am also expected to babysit my sister?”

“Emma, you’re overreacting.”

Again, with the fucking overreacting. I’m not an overreactor. If anything, I’m an underreactor. I’m positive I’m not overeating here. I guess it’s nice to know it’s not they don’t like Sebastian and don’t want to talk about him. They don’t want to talk about Kai either and I know they liked him. I muttered, “Unbelievable”, as I headed for the front door.

I ran far longer than I'd planned.

It took a long time to calm my mind and get into the zone. What often happens once I let go of my thoughts and get into a rhythm is that the thoughts organize themselves. When I stopped or during cool down I could see things more clearly. What I saw when I slowed my pace to a walk wasn't pretty. It had been my choice to leave rehab when it was no longer good for me. It had been my choice to call Ed to get me away from here when it was no longer good for me. I don't remember my parents favoriting Amy before that summer. Twenty-three days that strengthened me and weakened Amy. Broke my family and gave me a new one.

Choices, even ones that are good for you, have consequences. A tangled web of choices and consequences have led to now. This isn't my home. My parents' focus, as it had been since I went to Seattle or before, was Amy. I didn't agree with how they sheltered her, but I hadn't been here. In their view I was strong, I was fine, and they didn't have to worry about me. I had another family to worry about me. When I thought about it like this, it made sense. I'd left because being here was a threat to me. Now me being here was a threat to Amy. The situation was fucked. We'd all done the best we could. We still were. If what I'd told Sebastian was true, I wouldn't change anything if it meant I didn't know Ed, Jill, Olivia, and Harper. I had to accept the negatives too. I don't know what that means for the future, but as Ed tells me I put up with things too long sometimes.

I arrived back at the house as everyone was finishing breakfast. I'd separated myself from family time by taking a run. Or maybe I'd taken a run because I was separate from my family. I poured a cup of coffee and joined them at the table, helping myself to the container of Greek yogurt and covering it with berries. Blueberries for Sebastian and raspberries for me. That made me smile.

After I showered Amy and I went to pick up my grandparents. Amy told me what happened after I'd gone to bed, including her and Max having sex on the big round double lounger. I told her... nothing. I didn’t tell her about my fights with our parents, I didn’t tell her about the conversation with Kai. I most certainly didn't tell her about my phone sex date later with Sebastian, the early morning just woke up FaceTime, or how he'd read me Winnie the Pooh until I fell asleep. I hated it. I hated how yesterday we were back to talking like sisters and today it was not. Again, my choice, but I knew she’d tell our parents, which under any other circumstance would be fine, but I could not take any more. I could, but I didn’t want to.

The back yard easily held the gathering of aunts, uncles, and cousins. Kids played in the pool while adults talked with glasses of sangria and bottles of beer. The last stragglers were finishing their drinks when Katie crawled into my lap. She wanted me to take her to bed and read her a story. When the book was done, she curled up next to me, looked up, and said, "I love you, Emma."

I kissed her nose, "I love you, too.”

I joined my parents and sister in the family room. Amy explained they hadn't known how long I'd be with Katie and had started a movie without me. I lied and said it was fine, I'd seen it. There couldn't have been much left when “Dancing Queen” started playing from my phone. I stood up, "That’s Sebastian. He's in Canada. I'm going to take it upstairs. See you in the morning."

Mom yelled after me, "We need to leave at nine-thirty."

"OK." I connected the call, "Hey, baby, how was your flight and dinner?"

"Bumpy."

"Which one?"

"Both." His laughter was a balm that smoothed away the roughness of the day. "How was the barbeque and why can't I see you?"

I shut the door behind me and switched the call to video. "I was waiting until I could get you alone."

Sebastian put his arms across his chest, "What kind of a boy do you think I am?"

"A very handsome one." The top three buttons of his white dress shirt were unbuttoned and his tie hung loosely around his neck. "Damn, you look good."

"So do you."

I was in a plain peach t-shirt. He didn't care. To him, I looked good. I went back to his question, "It was fun. Caught up with lots of family. Watched kids in the pool. Mostly sat with my grandparents. Granny was happy to hold my hand and tell me I’m beautiful."

Sebastian's mouth dropped open in a gasp, "I like doing that too." He turned his head to the side looking over my face, "You don't look sad, but you don't look happy either. What's going on with you?"

I looked up for an answer, "I am accepting the reality of the situation. This isn't really home or really my family anymore. Their priority is Amy."

His face fell, "I’m sorry, baby. What can I do? What do you need?"

I smiled a real smile, "Nothing I don't already have." I could see he was struggling to believe me. "Since we were sixteen, they took care of Amy and Ed took care of me. I didn't realize exactly what that meant. Amy is doing better than she ever has. I always thought that when Amy was better." I stopped myself to figure out how I wanted to say this. "It took me coming home while things are good to realize it doesn't matter. Even if she is fine it's all a house of cards. I expected at some time things would be normal, but it won't be. I am changing my expectations."

"How do stop expecting your parents to support you?"

Good question. "You know why Jimmy and I broke up."

"He cheated."

"My parents do not. Amy didn't until Friday."

"Why not?" Sebastian's sadness for me was tinged with anger.

The list of things my parents didn’t know was long. "Just telling them we'd split. I felt like I might drown. The way they wanted to baby and take care of me felt like an anchor around my neck, like I was incapable of surviving a breakup. When I came here for Christmas, they had all these ideas for my life, but they never asked what I wanted. I knew if I told them he'd cheated it would be ten times worse. Does this make any sense?" It wasn't completely clear to me so how could it be to him.

Sebastian rubbed his fingers over his beard, pulling at the grey patch. "I hurt my knee once. They told me to take it easy for twenty-four hours, ice it, stay off it. Then I had exercises and had to move. Walking hurt like hell but it was the best thing if I wanted to heal. Your parents wanted you on bed rest when what you needed was PT. Support to get on your feet. Support should help, not cripple you."

"Exactly!" I smiled and ran my fingers over the video version of his face. "So not having their support isn’t new. I am working on accepting that's not going to change." I watched Sebastian bite his lip and let it slip free. "What's that about?"

"I feel lucky to know you. I'm so fucking proud of you. You don't get stuck in self-pity; you dig yourself out. It's the difference between seeing yourself as a victim or just someone who had something bad happen. They keep Amy stuck and Ed taught you resilience."

My heart stopped and I forgot how to breathe. Not in the good way. In the almost a panic attack way.

"I can do that with work, most things. Relationships." He scrunched up his face and rocked his head from side to side. "I'm learning."

"I'm not always good at it either." Sometimes I needed my ass kicked.

"That’s ok. I'll be here to help. You're still learning too."

I felt a slow smile form across my face and Sebastian raised an eyebrow. "Aren't you supposed to be teaching me something tonight?"

I fought back the laugh at the way he squeezed his eyes shut and scrunched up his face. It took a good ten seconds for him to come back to me. I let go of the lip I was biting, "You ok there?"

"You cause me physical pain." He chuckled and smiled looking at me.

I don't think he minds all that much. "Where's it hurt, baby?" I dropped the tone and volume of my voice.

He made the face again and pointed his finger at me. "Turn off the camera."

My eyes went wide, "Why?"

"The first time I watch you get yourself off is going to be live."

"You have a lot of phone sex rules, Bastian." Still, I switched the phone to voice only. My screen went dark. I pouted. Not that he could see.

"Stop pouting and tell me what you're wearing."

I resisted the urge to tell him if he let me turn the damned camera back on, I'd show him. I didn't need to be taught how to do this. I was confident I could wing it just fine. What I didn’t know was if this was to be purely descriptive, giving each other instructions, or a role-play. It didn't matter. Any would be fun.

"I have on a peach t-shirt. It's not tight, but it fits against my body. Soft. My shorts are white. If you listen close, I bet you can hear me unzip them," I moved my phone lower to make sure he could. I left the phone by my hip, "I'm going to go ahead and take them off. My legs are smooth against my fingers."

"Take off your shirt too. Tell me about your bra and panties." His voice had taken on the timbre it gets when he's turned on.

"Nothing special. No one to see them. Simple white cotton. They do look nice against my tan."

"Next time we're together I’m licking those tan lines."

"Mmm, I'm looking forward to that. Tell me about you."

"Dressed from dinner. Black pants, long sleeve white shirt, black tie. You saw. Tie undone. A couple of buttons open and sleeves rolled up."

"Unbutton them all, but leave your shirt on. I like you undone. What’s going on with your pants?"

"They're tight. I’m not completely hard."

"Take them off. Rub yourself over your boxers. I love feeling you grow in my hand or my mouth. Your skin is so soft."

"Spread your legs. Touch yourself. Over your panties. I want them wet.” I heard a change in his breathing. Subtle. “I’m hard. Had to adjust my boxers. My cock's up toward my stomach where I can rub the underside. Feels good." He let out a little moan and I could easily imagine the little smile on his face.

"Take your cock out. I've got my hand over my pussy. Massaging myself. Warm. Panties are a little damp. I can tell I'm wet though. I can feel it."

"What's it like, Emma?"

"All the blood’s rushed between my legs. There's an ache, a throbbing, almost like I can feel my heart beating. An itch I need to scratch."

"My hand's around my cock. Slow strokes along the whole length. I flip my thumb over the tip every so often." His breath caught. "Hits the spot, you know the one, sends a jolt, like a shock through me. Feels even better when it's your tongue."

"Fuck. Your talking has me squirming. My hand is in my panties. My middle finger sliding from my clit to inside me. So slippery. How tight is your grip?"

"Tight. Not stroking my length anymore. Turned my hand around where my thumbs against the vein. Holding tight above the middle to the edge of the head. Feels good. Thinking about you touching your clit."

"Moving up and down, kind of slow. Tightening my muscles like you're inside me."

Words stopped, but it wasn't quiet.

Our breathing had synced up and there were these little catches, sighs, and soft moans.

"Faster and firmer now."

"Me too. I'm close."

I might not be able to see him, but I knew exactly what he looked like. His face, his body, were starting to tense.

"Feels good. Not as good as you touching me. Not even close."

"If I was there, I'd put my hand over yours. Feel how you like to be touched. So, I can match it. I'd kiss along your neck, taste you. My other hand, my fingers, barely touching your side, over your hip, across your thigh." The last word was interrupted.

" Em... fuck... yes..." Then a few seconds of silence followed by a long sigh.

"Where are you, baby?"

"Unhooked my bra. Nipples so tight."

"Perfect for me to suck on. I'd use my teeth. Run my hand up your inner thigh. Touching close. I can look down and see you touching yourself. God, how much I want to shove your hand away and taste you. Make you come."

"Oh fuck... Bastian." Everything tightened up then let go.

His voice was in my ear, "Turn your camera back on."

When I picked the phone up off my chest his face was already there. I hit the button and saw my face appear in the small rectangle. "Now you want to see me." I stretched with a contented sigh.

"I always want to see you after you come. The way your mouth is open and you lick your lips. Beautiful."

I rolled to my side, "What's an orgasm feel like for you?"

"Tonight. Mmm, for a while it just felt good. Like any touch, nothing special, except the where. Only more. Then it's like a switch. Goes from feels good to oh shit this is amazing. Starts where I’m touching and spreads down to my balls and lower stomach, base of my spine. It's like tightening a spring until it can't anymore and just let’s go."

"Is sex different? The orgasm."

"Oh yeah." His smile and eyes told me he drifted away a little. "I'll tell you all about it next time we have sex." Sebastian raised his eyebrows expectantly.

"Similar. Like you said just feels good. More of a building for me though. Sometimes it's a slow steady increase. Other times like stair steps. I have to remind myself to relax or I clench my butt and thighs too much."

"I've noticed this. You start to rise off the bed and I have to hold you down." He was clearly enjoying the memory. "Does it change how it feels?"

I nodded, "Tightening up takes the focus away. Eventually, everything gets warm, tingly, and tightens up. Finally, it's like a wave breaking on the shore with muscle contractions."

"I feel those."

"I like the resistance of having something to hold onto." His eyes had questions. I had to search for a workable metaphor. "If you're sitting in a chair and lift your foot you can feel your thigh tighten, but if you're on a leg machine with weights you feel that muscle more."

Awareness hit him, "Really?" I nodded again. "I knew you liked, but I like knowing the why." He laughed, "I love these talks."

I joined in his laughter, "It is fun."

"Hang on a sec." He laid his phone next to him and I could hear him moving around.

"What are you doing?"

Sebastian picked his phone back up, "There was a mess to clean up."

It is so sexy that he told me this. The whole conversation is sexy. Lying in bed a thousand miles apart having a casual chat about a not at all casual topic is sexy as fuck.

"What did you use?" I was amused.

He looked at me with disbelief. Not sure if it was the question or that he was going to answer. "My underwear. They were nearby." He stood up and lifted the tie as he walked. "Can I get rid of this now?"

"Do I get to see your bare chest?"

"Do I get... ok well, there we go. Thank you."

I'd shifted my camera lower and flashed him naked breasts before he finished asking. I moved back to my face, "You're welcome."

He held his phone out where I could watch him free his arm and be shirtless. I made an appreciative noise and he asked, "Enjoying yourself?"

"I am." I hadn’t intended to lick my lips. "I'd like to lay by a pool with you. Or a beach."

"Easily arranged." He stretched out on the bed. "What haven't we done that you want to do?"

"In general, or sex."

He shrugged, "Sex is the topic. Tonight anyway."

"I want you to give me a full body massage that veers off track to a happy ending."

"That will be just as much fun for me." His face showed his interest. "I want you to tie me to the bed, blindfold me, and do whatever you want to me."

I sat up enough to take my bra off, giving him another peek "We're going to need a weekend locked in one of our bedrooms."

"My weekend is free. I think I have company coming Thursday."

"My departure time keeps creeping up to get to you sooner.”

He sang, "Oh what a lucky boy."

“Pretty soon I’ll get there before you, waiting on the floor outside your apartment.” I got hit with a memory, "We need to talk about your birthday. What do you want?"

"Well, that depends on how you feel about birthday sex? I like birthday sex. Not a deal-breaker, not my preference, but fun for a change."

He stretched out on the bed and stuck his phone to his leg. I could see chest up. I propped my head upon my hand and adjusted my phone. "I'm speaking from limited experience here." Sebastian tried very hard not to smile. He failed, but he tried. "You're such a man."

He stopped trying, "You're such a woman." His laughter was a wonderful sound.

"Less than good experience the first time because neither of us realized the amount of prep work required." He winced. I shrugged. "Next time I’d researched. I liked it, he didn't. He was too in his head, worried about being dirty. Then there's you. I knew what I was doing more in theory than practice."

"You should feel free to practice on me anytime you want." He cocked his head to the side. "You can come in and brush your teeth while I pee, but that's as far as I want to go there."

"Women have complete conversations while trading places in a bathroom."

"The group bathroom break cracks me up."

"We don't want to stop talking or want to talk about a cute guy in private."

"Mostly the last one." He wasn't wrong. "Oh..." he shook his head and pulled his eyebrows down, "not into period sex. But you've got an IUD. Do you even have a period?"

"Nope, happy side effect." Condoms eliminated the need for the birth control talk. "How do you know I have an IUD? Can you feel the strings?"

"My fingers are up there a lot."

I smirked, "You're dirty."

"About to be dirtier. Turn off your camera."

#sebastian stan #sebastian stan fanfiction #fanfiction #sebastian stan X ofc #marvel actor fanfiction

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hellevator-mp3 · 5 years

Text

how it all went wrong (and what went right) || Part 2

Pairing(s): Seongsang, Woosan, Yungi (platonic for now!)

Genre: uhhh once again, mild fluff and slight gore ig??

Word Count: 1700+

Warnings: None for this part!

Author Note: so this was actually only gonna be half of the second chapter, but i decided to split it up into two parts so i can post sooner! also, the next part m a y explain why either woosan or yungi ended up with seongsang, but i’m not sure which yet!

seonghwa is yeosang’s rock, just as san is wooyoung’s. so what happens when their peace is disturbed by two newcomers?

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they were lucky for the setup of yeosang’s apartment, the group very quickly realized. they had pulled all the curtains shut, including the ones in the kitchen right next to the front door (yeosang still didn't understand the need for a window overlooking the hallway but whatever) and both windows in the dining room and bedroom. wooyoung and san had already crawled off the couch, and crept quietly over to their weapons before seonghwa and yeosang had even emerged from the room. the banging and shouting only grew louder, the noise beginning to sound like panicked screams but yeosang knew they really couldn't trust anyone.

it wasn't until everyone had a weapon of some sort that they crept to the door, yeosang peeking through the peekhole at whoever was outside. there were two figures stood side by side, their figures distorted through the window, but yeosang saw no weapons, and he said such to seonghwa. seonghwa shrugged and mouthed “let them in”, to which yeosang sighed. of course he would say that.

that must have been quite a shock for them, hearing the lock turn to an apartment and then stumbling in to find that there were four people inside, all wielding weapons. but the two took it in a stride, one turning to close and lock the door as the other explained their situation.

they were roommates, the brown haired man being mingi and the black haired man being yunho. since they lived in a worse part of town that yeosang himself did, their apartment building was one of the first raided when the sun rose. they could hear the doors being busted down above and below them, and soon enough it was the one at the end of the hall. then the middle one. and then the one right next to them. they had just bolted through their living room window onto the fire escape when the door was busted down, dust flying through the air and settling softly around the figure that stood in their doorway. mingi froze, and yunho pushed him to start climbing down with a shout of “go!” before they were rushing down the metal stairs to the sound of the figure screaming - whether it was into a walkie talkie or to an accomplice, they’d never know.

when they hit the ground and started running, they could hear footsteps behind them and glanced back to see that somebody had run from the lobby after them. presumably, it was another member of the group that was raiding their building, but they weren’t sure. friend or foe, they ran until they lost him, dodging through alleys that they knew like the back of their hands and past the undead that reached out to touch them. somehow, the person that broke down their door emerged from the shadows, and they bolted once again, and so they ended up at yeosang’s door, knocking with the ferocity of a thousand beasts as they heard his thunderous steps up the stairs.

yeosang simply stared at them, before his mind went into overdrive. “so you’re saying, you led a big, beefy man to my apartment and now we’re all stuck in here?” he seethed, mingi and yunho both seeming to shrink as they took in his anger. “god, you’re so lucky this floor is nearly abandoned.” he mumbled, anger melting away as seonghwa laid a soft hand on his shoulder, whispering something to yeosang that calmed him down. the two newcomers stood in the doorway, still confused. wooyoung and san had retreated back to the couch, where they sat watching just in case something happened, although they doubted that the two tall men posed a threat.

yeosang finally sighed, moving aside to allow the other two in. “i swear to all that is holy that if somebody tries to break into my apartment, i will sacrifice you two.” he muttered to the taller boys as he guided them to the living room. the two nodded. “see, i don’t even know how you guys got here. nobody’s lived on this floor for years, aside from me. the door from the stairs doesn’t open, and half the elevator buttons don’t work, but the one for this floor is particularly iffy.” he shrugged, figuring that they were pretty safe. then, he noticed the bags that the two had slung over their shoulders, and gestured towards them. mingi seemed to understand quickly what he wanted.

“we don't have any weapons, all we have is some food, a little bit of water and some matches. i think yunho has sleeping bags.” mingi informed them, pulling his bag off to show them as yunho did the same. yeosang passed them to seonghwa to check, and he confirmed what they said. “we probably won't last very long with what we have, but as soon as they leave, we’ll leave too and we won’t bother you.” he promised them not even a heartbeat later, gesturing wildly as he tried to prove his point. however, at the sound of footsteps on the floor above them, the entire group went quiet. san went to check that the windows on the backside of the apartment were locked, and the shades pulled closed before he returned to wooyoung’s side, their fingers clasped tightly in between them while their other hands held tightly to their newfound weapons. seonghwa and yeosang took up a protective stance in front of the others, their hips pressed together as one stared at the window and the other at the door, waiting for something to drop in.

they stayed like that for what must have been close to an hour, listening to the footsteps that traipsed around the rooms above them, likely raiding the apartment. yeosang wracked his memory, trying to think of who lived above him but drew a blank. finally, they were able to relax as the footsteps faded away, and they could faintly hear noise travelling down the staircase. yeosang breathed out a sigh of relief, throwing himself down on the floor next to wooyoung and san, who had sat on the side of the coffee table closest to yeosang’s bedroom. the group of six glanced at one another, while mingi and yunho got to their feet. “we’ll just take the fire escape out, and we’ll be out of your hair.” yunho reiterated mingi’s words from earlier, his voice considerably higher than that of his counterpart. yeosang sighed, before informing him that they didn’t have a fire escape. yunho gaped at him, and then shrugged before saying they would just take the elevator back down.

wooyoung and san both stood up with a start, glancing over at yeosang and seonghwa to say that they should probably get a move on too, since they were only meant to stay for the night. yeosang glanced at seonghwa, who nodded and went to pack them up a bag with food and water, and as much of their supplies as they could spare, pressing the bag into a protesting san’s hands. seonghwa shushed him quickly, before the group of four was finally leaving the apartment, yeosang locking the door behind them. he had pulled wooyoung aside for a brief second, to tell him that if they needed anything, to come find him and seonghwa. the silver haired boy had nodded in understanding, before rushing to join his fiance and the rest of their rag tag group at the door. yeosang felt a strange emptiness that flooded his chest and seemed to permeate the room around him as the door clicked shut behind the others, and he turned to find seonghwa staring at him.

“what is it?” he murmured, pushing past the blond to take a seat on the couch, where it was still warm from yunho and mingi’s body heat. part of yeosang wanted to go pull the four back, but he knew that that was risky. they only had enough for two of them, and not near enough to sustain six people until they found somewhere better to camp out. that was the part that it seemed seonghwa could read, sitting next to him and reassuring him that it would be all right, that the group would be fine.

seonghwa somehow coaxed him to get back in bed and catch up on the sleep that he missed. seonghwa himself didn’t join him, instead sprawling out over the floor and leafing through one of yeosang’s textbooks from his college courses. yeosang slipped into an easy sleep, knowing that seonghwa was capable of protecting the two of them if need be.

they fell into a routine like that, sleeping next to one another at night and sharing a can of food at mealtimes, not even bothering to heat anything up. they made runs together, filling their backpacks up with as much as they could carry to bring home. steadily, their stock of food and medicine piled up, covering the cabinets in the kitchen and spilling out into the dining room, where they also stored their two emergency bags, filled with things they would need if they had to run.

a week flew by, as they listened to the radio nightly for progress on the situation outside. yeosang’s building had stayed eerily quiet, and they assumed that the other tenants had fled at the first sight of danger. it wouldn’t surprise yeosang, and certainly not seonghwa, who said it would make sense. they planned on where they would go, to seonghwa’s grandparents house in the mountains. he said that that would be safer for them, and that his grandparents had passed away long ago and left the house to him. yeosang agreed enthusiastically, but his mood quickly dropped as he looked around at their supplies. “but how will we move all this?” he asked one night, as they laid in bed with seonghwa’s arms around yeosang, where the younger was resting against his chest.

seonghwa just reassured him that they’d find a way, before yeosang nodded and drifted off to sleep. seonghwa waited for a little while, waiting for yeosang to be in a deep enough sleep that he wouldn’t feel seonghwa untangling their limbs and climbing from the bed. “i’ll be back in the morning.” seonghwa uttered this promise to deaf ears, watching as yeosang felt around the bed for something to hold onto, which seonghwa granted in the form of a pillow.

yeosang slept on peacefully, not knowing of the disaster he would be waking to.

#ateez fic #kpop fanfiction #seongsang #park seonghwa #kang yeosang #woosan #choi san #jung wooyoung #yungi #jeong yunho #song mingi #atz

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watery-lane · 5 years

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What's wrong with some teenagers wanking off to belle delphine? Do you have something against porn in general or just her?

Oh good grace, this is going to be a long response nonnie.

To start I have to confess that it surprised me the fact that, after reading all the post and then my comment, you -sort of- drew the conclusion I felt like there’s an issue with teenagers rubbing one out to an e-girl rather than synthetise it within the contextual frame. Not trying to sound patronising or dry, I am genuinely interested! I was studying sociolinguistics in my degree so seeing these kind of different interpretations make me go 🤔

But to clarify, I’ll start little by little so here it goes: nah, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with teens beating their meat, raising their flags, filling the donut every now and then. It’s natural. It’s healthy for your reproductive system, mental and sexual health and hormone balance. For some people with vaginas, it can help with period cramps. Also, people like what they like, and if she rings someone’s bell who am I to judge. Now, after simply searching for her IG profile, that’s where red flags appear.

The first image that pops up is her posing with a pixelated dildo about to penetrate her holy hole as she pulls a cartoonish orgasmic face. I cannot provide any screenshots because well, *coughs* Tumblr policies on explicit content *coughs* but you can find it by simply googling her name. Her account is hidden on IG’s search bar. That’s okay, she may be a cam girl, she may sell her bath water etc. Now, the problem comes up when you dig in deeper and check her bio, captions and interaction patterns. First off, she has a direct link to her Patreon in her bio where she sells her NSFW content, which is, as I presume, mainly images after the last post about her shenanigans. Okay, cool, she’s not directly posting such content on IG so she’s not violating any policies. However, she’s offering a direct link to that content. Yes, people are free to decide whether they want to click, pay for their subscription or not. That’s on them. But what’s not on them is the little restrinction Patreon (and most if not all webpages) offers while checking the age of the user. Or the audience Belle herself is targeting, not only with her graphic content but also direct interaction through captions and responses -young teens, gamer teens etc.- not only as consumers, but as potential providers. By providers I refer to the impact she has had on the social circles she moves in and the influence she has on what other e-girls may want to provide in order to cater an audience, as the girl has around a million followers if not more.

Now if you ask me what’s wrong with teens jerking off to Belle, I’d say there is nothing wrong. As I mentioned before, some of my mutuals on IG follow her and although I personally don’t find such subtly covered infantilisation of womanhood appealing, they still dig it. Different strokes for different folks, I guess. Do I have something against her then? Well, after reading all these paragraphs you may think I do. But to be honest? I don’t either. I personally discovered Belle a few hours ago, not even relating her to her previous bath water mediatic boom.

My issue is with the way internet celebrities are recollecting their $$$ and growing their platforms in general. How they leech themselves to a cause and sell their product in such unethical manners if it was a physical corporation Tumblr and extreme SJWs would crucify their businesses by the beat of their keyboards. It has happened with the body positivity and fat acceptance movement, it has happened with the LGBTQ community, it has happened within the wellness culture. Belle is just one of them, benefitting from the exposure in an era where walls are made of glasses, the uproar of sexual liberation started in the 60s and the normalised infantilisation of women for sexual purposes.

And oh well, about porn, I don’t even think I’ve got enough room for the rant lmao, maybe in a more specific question. Because I believe one cannot be aware of porn and its industry and side oneself fully for or against it.

Side note: also my comment was more directed towards the irony of Tumblr users walking on eggshells when it comes to becoming a provider of explicit content to minors while at the same time preaching a girl for playing teenage boys because ~feminism~, because them kids were plain ass gross -which they were- while all this time she played them for clout and a whole bunch of double taps. Not to mention she also gets monetised in PH too.

#whew this was long #not pb #hope you didnt fall asleep halfway thru

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tessmontyart · 5 years

Text

2018 Year In Review

Another year, another review 💕(I actually typed most of this up before 2019 and then got distracted, whoops)

To put things short, 2018 has been AWESOME :D Exhausting and fast, but awesome.

I started it off pretty uncertain how things were going to go, dreading it would be a repeat of 2017′s boring TAFE courses and endless job rejections. But the miracle happened - a 2D animation studio opened up near me, I applied, did an animation test and got the job!

The job was a contract from 1st of April - 21st of December, so I spent the majority of my year going to work to animate characters for a really crazy but hilarious new kids show called Spongo Fuzz and Jalapena, due to air mid 2019 :)

It was honestly the most fun job I have ever had and I can’t wait for the next project! 🎉 I have never been this exhausted in my life, though. 😅I had already booked a whole bunch of conventions before I got the job, and didn’t want to cancel them so I was working nonstop - Animation during the day and intensive convention prep every night.

I also had the bright idea of creating a full colour 26 page comic -with a tight deadline - so I was madly working to the point I didn’t even have time for dinner half the time :’) I am sort of happy with the comic, but also kind of wish I never had the idea in the first place. 😅

I tabled at a ton of conventions; Melbourne Supanova, Central Coast ComiCon, Other Worlds Zine Fair, Sydney Supanova, SMASH and Canberra Gamma Con. If next year doesn’t go so well on the job side of things I’m hoping to add a few more conventions to that list - Brisbane Supanova, Oz Comic Con and Animaga to name a few. I’ve already booked Sydney Madman Anime Festival!

2018 was the year my partner and I celebrated our 4th year together, and he never fails to amaze me with his continuous love and support. I was too sick to attend the first day of SMASH, so he set up and ran the whole stall for me while I stayed at home. Same with Sydney Supanova, I was too bogged down in animation work and couldn’t afford to take the Friday off, so he set up and ran the stall for me on Friday, then we ran the stall together on the weekend. He also tended to my every need when I broke my toe, cooked all my meals when I was busy with work and even packaged + posted all my Etsy orders every day because I was always working during post office hours. He listened to all the problems I was having with my stall setup and helped make shelves and decorations to make it look and function better. I was getting stressed because my desk space was too small, BAM he bought me a brand new desk with plenty of storage. I was getting stressed that I had so much on my convention to-do-list and couldn’t keep track of all my project ideas, BAM, he sets up a whiteboard and helps me brainstorm everything so I can keep track of all my thoughts and ideas and what to prioritise for future conventions. I didn’t even ask him to do any of this, he just loves to help me and make me happy and I am forever blissed and happy to be able to spend my life with such a wonderful human!

(Home made High Tea I made for him on Valentines Day)

Arsty Highlilghts / accomplishments:

🌸I designed 9 cute Houseki no Kuni acrylic charms which have been doing really well at conventions!

🌸I also drew a cute series of ‘Sleepy Gem’ Houseki no Kuni / Steven Universe holographic prints, which I’m quite proud of 😊

🌸I created my 2nd enamel pin design, which already needed 2 reorders because they were so popular! ;w; I never knew I could make something that so many people love *sob* I’ve already planned to make these into a series! (already designed some deer ones, and thinking of doing foxes next ^_^ )

🌸I also tried getting gold foil prints done for the first time, which was pretty cool! I got the american sizes mixed up though so I might try for the bigger size next time :) (grainy photo cause its a screenshot from a video)

🌸I’ve been taking steps to make my stall look more ‘professional’, and got a really neat wooden sign made for me by my friend as_sweet_as_jasmine!

🌸I’ve started revamping my favourite series of posters - the Eevee Gijinka girls :) I plan to have them all done and ready for 2019s conventions!

🌸This was the year I got an iPad, so I could do digital art on-the-go. Honestly its helped me so much, and I can’t wait to be able to use it more (sorta didn’t get a chance to touch it while i was working!)

🌸I got Copic Markers for my birthday so I had a whole new medium to play with! These mixed with using a brush pen for inking really make my inktobers pop and I’m eager to draw more with them :)

🌸Speaking of Inktober, it was a huge accomplishment for me to put effort into a decent artwork every day this year! Usually theres a few dud ones when I lacked inspiration, but I somehow managed to make it work ;w; So when it came time to printing the books, theres 31 illustrations rather than 25 like the others :) Also the whole rainbow theme idea came from how cool I think it would look flipping through a rainbow book - so I managed to make that happen and couldn’t be happier!

🌸I passed 1000 sales on Etsy!! 😱As well as 1000 followers on instagram! Crazy right??

General 2018 highlights

🌸2018 was the year one of my best friends got married! I made cute little clay wedding cake toppers for her :)

🌸The year Owl City’s 7th album Cinematic came out!! All the tracks are so GOOD and exactly the sound all us hootowls were longing for. Also Be Brave is a tearjerker, in a good way. What an amazing human Abbey is to Adam <3

🌸The year Spyro Reignited Trilogy came out!! It’s absolutely amazing, and I love every second of it. Every time I play it I just can’t help but stand there looking around at every detail because everything is just so gorgeous *_* And the nostalgia is so real.

🌸Not exactly a highlight but the year Tumblr went NSFW free, and lost hundreds of thousands of users 😂I’m still here though. Got a dumb tradition to keep up ya know.

🌸The year my work had a hilarious Christmas party where we had to dress up as a character from Spongo Fuzz and Jalapena. It was the first time I actually put effort into a cosplay by myself 😂(possibly the last) (wont put a photo up for embarrassing reasons)

🌸the year I broke my toe for the first time xD;; definitely not a highlight but a first! I couldn’t walk for weeks! it sucked!!! T__T

🌸The year my friend successfully funded his kickstarter for his own cartoon ‘Nurry Brothers Adventure World’ :D So proud of him. I’m gonna help him animate!

🌸The year Lano and Woodley reunited with their amazing show ‘Fly’!! I loved it so much I saw it twice :D

🌸The year I tried doing Halloween for the first time - I bought a bunch of lollies and chocolates and decorations on my letterbox/door to let people know I was participating. I got 2 different groups of people at the door, 5 people all up 😂More than I expected tbh!

🌸I tried Ruby chocolate for the first time! It was ok .. just kinda tasted like berry yoghurt flavoured white chocolate though ;w;

SO! What’s coming for 2019?

I’m not really sure at the moment, but I have high hopes for Cheeky Little Studios (the animation company I worked for) - so I guess I’ll just have to wait and see if any of their next projects get concrete start dates :) I’m not as terrified of the year as I usually am when its just one big question mark. I know I can make decent money through conventions and commissions in the meant time so I’ll just continue doing what I love!

LAST YEAR I SAID:

“I am crossing my fingers for an animation job I applied for a while ago” - I GOT IT! :D

“I plan to do even more conventions. Hopefully I can get into Oz Comic Con!" - didn’t end up applying because I was busy with the job, but keen to try for 2019 :)

"I’m keen to apply for like Animaga in Melbourne, as well as Madman Anime Fest in Brisbane and Melbourne.” - didn’t end up doing so for the same reason above, but that might change this year :)

“I also want to make a lot more non-fandom things for market stalls, as well as a comic and zines!” - I made the comic, as well as 3 inktober zines and a cute ‘if I fits I sits’ cat zine! As well as a bunch of cute original enamel pin ideas and my whole inktober was original art :D

“Hopefully I’ll hit 1k followers on fb/ig? :D that will make me feel important lol” - I hit 1k on instagram!! I felt very important xD

“I’m also hoping to go on a holiday this year." - I didn’t, for job reasons ... buuut I’m booked in for a cruise in Italy / Greece this September that I’m extremely excited for!

“PLEASE BE KIND 2018, I’M BEGGING YOU 😱” - You were very very kind to me, 2018. 2019, please follow suit!

(man this is the 7th year of review I’ve done. Can’t believe I’ve been on tumblr this long 😅)

[2017] [2016] [2015] [2014] [2013] [2012]

#2018 #2018 year review #year review #year in review #personal crap #i honestly dont expect anyone to read these #i just do them for myself lol

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nightnightuniverse · 6 years

Text

live a little; urbanct! chenle

summary: you and chenle go to the same academy. you’ve never spoken before, but you’ve been interested in him for awhile. despite the troublemaker persona everyone said he carried.

category: fluff !! (with a teeny bit of angst ig??)

word count: 2.9 k

inspired by Lisa’s ( @choerrybot ) urbanct! au !!

this is my first time posting an actual fic !! i’m really nervous but i hope you guys like it. i spent a lot of time writing this, but I’m not quite happy with how it turned out ?? I just hope you guys enjoy it :)

________________________________________

Unapproachable.

That’s what Zhong Chenle was.

He was the kid that everyone knew, but never personally. Sure he was cute, but he just didn’t fit in with the rest of our posh rich kid academy. When he moved to SM City a year ago everybody wanted to hang out with the new kid- that was until they found out what kind of crowd he hung out with. They called themselves “The Dreamies,” and every time Chenle was in the halls or one of the dreamies walked him to school you could hear the whispers.

“Did you hear one of them got arrested for graffiti?”

“Those boys are bad news. My mom knows Chenle’s parents and they said that Jeno boy slashed their couch and put grease stains all over it. They ended up having to throw it out.”

“Really? I heard that one of them got kicked out of school.”

“The youngest one, Jisung I think that’s what his name is, he’s one of the biggest drug dealers in town.”

I didn’t believe any of them, but they were interesting to listen to sometimes. People had their way of twisting things out of proportion. However there had to have been some truth in all of that. Ever since Chenle starting hanging out more with these kids there was something... different about him. Physically speaking, he started dressing differently. Gone was the preppy rich boy look, having been replaced entirely with a glints of metal on his ears hidden by blonde hair, oversized hoodies, and frayed jeans. Then there was that aura of his. Still shy by nature but, there was this underlying confidence that hadn’t been there before. He seemed happier, almost.

It wasn’t very long ago that Chenle had started to catch my attention. I don’t know what it was about him. He was so different compared to everyone else here, contrasting with the other boys of the academy with his dyed hair and kind smile. I didn’t know him- not one bit, but I wanted to.

________________________________________

Walking to the academy has always been boring. All of the people who attended this place thought walking to school was beneath them, showing up in their fancy top model cars or flashy limos. Except for one, he was always seen walking with his group of ‘delinquents’ as everyone else called them. They could be heard a mile away with their light-hearted laughter and loud swears. The only laughter that I really heard had to be Chenles’. The way it absolutely oozed happiness and warmth. It was a complete change from how he acted inside the walls of our academy.

For almost a year now I took the same path, and for some time, Chenle and his friends did too. Reaching the school gates I could see the crowds of students hanging around waiting for the first bell of the morning to ring. The closer I walked to the school the louder the voices from the academy got. There was a couple voices in particular that stuck out though.

“Oh my sweet baby angel is going off to school! Have a good day my tiny baby boy!”

“Hyuck, please! You can’t do this every time you drop me off.“

“I can and I will. Now go along and have fun with the snobby rich kids. Me and the other dreamies will be waiting for you when you get out !!”

Turning around I caught sight of a red-headed boy coddling someone to the point of suffocation. Pulling away from who I am assuming to be Hyuck, I was able to see that it was actually Chenle being hugged and babied. It was amusing to see him like this. Everyone thought he was some sort of criminal amongst the rich, but seeing them carelessly teasing one another, I could tell the two were far from trouble makers.

As if sensing a pair of eyes on him Chenle turned towards my direction. He looked at me with curious eyes. Staring at me for what felt like an eternity, and I held his gaze. Until the final bell rung, taking us out of our staring contest.

________________________________________

The first time I noticed Chenle was a few months ago in our music class. I had been in that class for months, and yet not once did I notice him.

That day our teacher told us to just play around with the instruments in hopes of getting us to explore more. Very soon it became apparent that Chenle didn’t need to though. It began with the gentle strums of a guitar, then the melodious keys of a piano being played, a violin being fiddled with, even a flute- throughout the class I grew more and more interested in the boy who was able to play every instrument in the classroom. Everyone was impressed, but it seemed as though they remembered who he was and just brushed it off. I, however, couldn’t.

After that day I started to notice Chenle everywhere we went. The hallways, our shared classrooms, or even the fancy parties our parents would drag us too. I don’t know what it was that drew me to him. Maybe it was his bright smile, the way he carried himself, or maybe the aura of carefreeness he had whenever he hung out with his group of friends. I wasn’t sure what it was, but I was bewitched in the living mystery that was Zhong Chenle.

________________________________________

It wouldn’t be until a few weeks later when I would actually interact with Chenle. It was a Saturday night like any other for people within our crowd. Overpriced clothing, smiles- although fake- still quite dazzling, and mingling to make more connections. A dream for my parents, but a complete bore for me. Hours passed by while I sat there in discomfort dreaming about the comforts the cookies I planned on eating would bring me later on. After finishing my third slice of cake, I couldn’t help but overhear a commotion coming from the patio doors behind the table reserved for my family.

Deciding I had nothing better to do I went out to see what was going on. Seconds before I opened the door I paused at the sound of someone’s voice. “ Please!!! Just let me pet you! Stop running around- wait stop!” Promptly after the door swung open and out came a white dog with Chenle in pursuit. However both failed to notice me frozen in the doorway, until said fluffball knocked me down.

With the excitement of meeting a new person, the dog greeted me with great enthusiasm. Short bursts of laughter left me as the dog gave me its affection. My heart was already racing with the attack from the adorable canine, but then I looked up to see Chenle smiling. I’ve seen his smile a countless number of times, always directed towards one of his friends, but never at me. I could feel my ears heating up and pulse quicken even more if possible.

“...is the dog yours?”

His smile softened a bit before answering. “No actually, I just found her on the patio all tied up, I felt bad so I untied her for a bit. I realized a little too late that maybe she was tied up for a reason…” He finished his sentence with a timid shake of his head.

After the small exchange between us we both put the dog back onto its leash in the small patio. Continuing to play with the dog with a comfortable silence between us. Only broken occasionally by a bark or small fits of joyful laughter. I wish it was this side of Chenle people would see. With his innocent childlike demeanor and twinkling eyes. You could easily tell he wasn’t a bad kid, if only people wouldn’t let rumours tarnish their image of him. He turned around to look at me for a moment as he broke the silence,” Hey would you maybe like to-”

His question was cut off by a sharp gasp. “Y/N L/N. You get here right this instance. Get off of the ground. What are you doing hanging around with… this boy.” I could feel the atmosphere immediately take a dive. With panicked eyes I looked back to my mother and then to Chenle. I could only manage to mouth a sorry to Chenle before I stood up slowly.

“I’m sorry, but he’s not a bad kid I swear-”

“You think I haven’t heard the stories?” There was a harsh tug on my wrist as my mother tried to pull me towards the exit. “ We’re going home right now. Don’t you dare think about interacting with this delinquent again. Do you hear me?”

With one last longing glance towards Chenle I was finally being dragged home. Only this time, I wasn’t quite as excited to go home as I was earlier in the night.

________________________________________

I was nervous going to school, seeing Chenle again was, surprisingly, not high on my list of things to do right now. I cautiously walked towards my music class, hoping maybe Chenle decided not to go to school today. I felt terrible about Saturday, having my mom talk down to him and me just standing there, letting it all happen. I just wish people would stop judging him, and actually get to know him. They should see him when he’s smiling with his friends, playing with a dog, or calmly playing one of his many instruments. Maybe then the way people view him might change.

Too wrapped up in my own thoughts I couldn’t hear my name being called out. Whoever was trying to get my attention finally caught up to me with a slight bump of shoulders. I turned my head slightly only to be surprised by Chenle standing next to me. “Hey Y/N!! Could you maybe, come with me for a bit?” I didn’t expect him to speak to me after what happened, my mind went blank- the only thing i could say was,“ But we’re going to be late to class??” A small chuckle left him, “That’s the point! Now come on, live a little.” He ended his sentence with a poorly executed wink. I mean, I could at least do this for him, right?

“...okay, where are we going?”

_______________________________________

Leaving the school was a lot easier than I thought it would be. I was always terrified of ditching during school hours, fearing that the police would show up and arrest me or something of the sorts. A bit irrational, but the thought was still at the back of my mind. Chenle seemed like he was used to this sort of thing, walking through the front doors with confidence- not caring who saw us leave. While all I could do was look around apprehension, never having done this sort of thing before my mind jumped to conclusions.

Suddenly there was a soft nudge near my hand, and I could feel Chenles’ slender fingers wrapping around my own to try and help alleviate some of my anxiety. I looked up only to see him looking ahead with a slight blush easing its way onto his cheeks. “...I uhh hope you’re hungry, I was planning on taking you to my friends food truck.”

I couldn’t help but give him a bright smile, “ That sounds great Chenle.”

The walk towards the inner city was filled with small talk between Chenle and I. Both of us talking about our lives. He told me about how he met his best friend, Jisung, when he saw him performing. From then on Jisung introduced him to the rest of the dreamies, and the rest is history. I adored how his face light up talking about the rest of the members of his friend group, his charming yet mischievous friend Jaemin, the artist Renjun, the calmest ones of the group Mark and Jeno, and Hyuck the boy with the fiery locks who I saw mothering him that day at school.

Speaking of the said redhead, we started arriving towards Hyucks fusion food truck. Taking a peek towards the side of the vehicle I could see bright letters with the words “Ppang Pan Ppang.” On the way here Chenle had explained to me it was meant to be a play on words, ppang and pan meaning bread in Korean and Spanish. The words were placed the way the were because of a Korean song called “Bang Bang Bang.” A small burst of laughter left me as he told me about how they came about the name and how clever he thought it was. With a name like that their food had to be great!

Chenle had me sit down near the curb, saying he would get the food. Rejecting my offer to pay, saying he could get it for free from his friend with his amazing persuasion skills (his words not mine.) Fifteen minutes later Chenle came back with what looked to be like a pancake and some bread with colorful frosting on it. “Okay so this is hotteok, it’s kinda like a pancake but better! And this right here is korean sweet bread, but the icing is from a mexican dessert called a… concha??? I hope I’m pronouncing it correctly.” His little nose scrunch as he tried to pronounce the foreign word had to have been the cutest thing I’ve seen. “ That sounds amazing, I can’t wait to try it!”

We both split the desserts between the two of us and ate as we observed the people walking down the streets this time of day. Although, I couldn’t stop my mind from wandering to other things. What prompted Chenle to take me out on this spontaneous adventure? Why would he be so kind to me when our past meeting ended badly? I turned to look at him as he took another bite out of the sweet bread.

“Is there something on my face? You keep staring on awful lot.”

I pointed towards his cheek, “ You’ve got a bit of the filling on your face.” With widened eyes he hurriedly wiped off his face with his sleeve. “ Okay I didn’t think there’d actually be something on my face, but you’ve obviously got something on your mind. Mind sharing a bit?” I sighed before making eye contact with him. “ It’s just- Why are you being so nice to me? My mom was nothing but rude to you last time we spoke. I don’t deserve your kindness, Chenle. I’m sorry for the way she spoke about you. I know you aren’t a terrible person, I should’ve stood up for you more than that measly attempt from the party. “ I looked down at the hotteok suddenly not feeling as hungry as I was a few minutes ago

“It’s cause you tried. Even before that, I just kinda knew that you were someone I wanted to hang out with. Just because your parents don’t like me doesn’t mean that it’s your fault. You were kind to me even when you had no reason to be. So enough of your pouting. Cause this is our first date and I want both of us to enjoy it.”

At that my ears perked up. “ Date, huh? I don’t really remember you asking me out for a date?” Chenle suddenly tensed up and started stuttering over his words. “ Well- I -uh umm wow. I mean if you’re not interested in me like that it’s fine or whatever I just hope I haven’t made things awkward now ohmygod I totally did I’m so sorr-” With a quick peck to his cheek he stopped talking and shyly hid his face in the sleeves of his sweater. “ I never said I didn’t like it.”

The sweet moment was interrupted by loud whistles and screaming from near the truck. “ I HOPE YOU DON’T MIND BUT I CALLED THE REST OF THE BOYS HERE TO COME SEE YOUR LITTLE DATE.” Yelled Hyuck. Groaning Chenle buried his face even further into his hands. “That’s it, I’m getting new friends.” A tall lanky boy with blue hair hollered a “ SHUT UP YOU LOVE US!”

________________________________________

After our date, me and Chenle took the bus back to my house. The entire way he held my hand, leaving behind butterflies and a racing pulse. The bus stopped a couple blocks from my house and we walked the rest of the way up together. Instead of just leaving there, Chenle walked me all the way up to my door. “ I had a lot of fun today, thank you for dragging me out of school. I’m hoping maybe we can do this again sometime in the future?” In response he smiled with a slight nod of his head. “ Of course.” Then there was a small yet powerful voice coming from the speaker near my front door.

“Y/N!!!!! THE DIRECTOR CALLED ME I CAN NOT BELIEVE YOU SKIPPED CLASS!! YOU ARE NEVER STEPPING FOOT OUT OF THIS HOUSE AGAIN. AND IS THAT THE ZHONG KID? WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT HIM!“

“ Or whenever you’re not,,, grounded ???”

With the hand closest to the door I covered the little speaker. In a small whisper I told Chenle ” ...Or I can just sneak out, gotta live a little right?” Copying him from earlier today I threw him a wink. “ See you around Chenle.”

He laughed at how his words from earlier were thrown back into conversation. “See you around Y/N.”

#nct #nct chenle #zhong chenle #nct dream #chenle #nct fluff #nct dream fluff #nct oneshot #chenle fluff #urbanct #urbanct scenario

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