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#i just want to fill the world with love
hum-tittle · 2 months
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Honestly one of the hardest part of being aroace or acespec/arospec is having to tone down how much I love. I love making people feel cared for. I remember little details about people. I just want to be a place of comfort and love.
But we live in such a romantic/sex centric society that if you're too nice, or remember too much, you must be interested in them.
The number of times I'm just being my loving self and people interpret it as romantic interest is exhausting.
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tennessoui · 4 months
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For the prompt list, nanny/single parent obikin would be amazing!!
(from this prompt list)
(the first time I answered this prompt two years ago, the nanny anakin au was born)
so to do something different, here's some gffa widowed anakin, nanny (sort of) obi-wan!
(2.5k)
It is hard to find time to grieve. There are too many things to do. Too many appointments to make, too many decisions Anakin isn’t sure he’s qualified for. Some decisions are easier than others. For example, the funeral will be on Naboo. There will be two services: a public one to honor Padmé’s public service, and a private one to honor who she was as a person. The casket will be closed, because his wife died when her cruiser exploded. There isn’t much left to bury anyway.
But some decisions are harder. Which flowers should go on her casket. What songs would she want sung and who should sing them? Would she prefer her grave closer to her ancestral home or the home she created in her adulthood?
If she told anyone the answers to these questions, it wasn’t Anakin. But then, the people who knew her best, who loved her most, died with her. Sabé, Rabé, Saché, Yané, all of her handmaidens—an assassination such broad strokes that it was impossible for it to fail.
So Anakin chooses Yali lilies, because Leia’s eyes linger on them the longest. He chooses a small Nabooian folk band to play after her service because their music is the first thing to make Luke lift his head from his coloring books in days. He formally requests that her body be buried among her ancestors, and the Nabierres agree immediately.
And he keeps telling himself that he will grieve, but there is so much to do. 
And then—then there’s after the funeral. Then there’s the rest of his life, sprawling out before him in a long, hazy road. 
There are more decisions to be made.
There are people who have opinions on them now, people who sat back and let Anakin muddle through flower arrangements and kriffing seating charts, who now step in to peer over his shoulder, monitor his every breath.
Should he really move the children back to Coruscant? Does he truly plan to continue to work as a mechanic in the Mid-Levels? Should he not think of the children, their needs? How can he support them on the thin amount of credits he makes? Would it not be better for the children to live on Naboo in the care of their grandparents and their extended family?
It would be what Padmé would have wanted.
Anakin cannot care about what Padmé would have wanted, because she isn’t here. Not to argue with him, not to make her wants known. She is dead. She doesn’t get to haunt him in the waking world too.
“What do you want?” he asks plainly, sitting down across the table from his two children. The twins blink back at him. Leia has finished her cereal. Luke has barely touched his.
“Bacon,” Luke says.
Anakin hadn’t meant for breakfast, but he figures it’s as good of a start as any. “Alright,” he agrees.
He stands once more and goes to the kitchen. It’s not exactly his domain. It was never Padmé’s either. The way Padmé grew up, food was made once you requested it—by droid, by cooking staff. Not by the hand of a Nabierre.
The way Anakin grew up, food was cobbled together carefully, sparingly no matter how much you requested it. And no matter how you cooked it, it always tasted a little like dust, which took the joy out of experimentation.
But the serving staff have been dismissed for the past two weeks to give the family time and space to grieve in private. 
(Padmé’s parents have been given a schedule for visiting hours for that exact reason.)
Anakin locates the pan; then, he locates the package of bacon strips.
When he glances up, both twins are watching him over the edge of their barstools, tiny faces showing both skepticism and incredulity.
“I want to know what you want to do,” Anakin says, raising his voice as he places the pot over the heating plate, the meat in a moment later. “Do you want to stay here with your grandmother and grandfather? Do you want to go back to Coruscant?”
The twins are quiet. Anakin twists his neck to look at them again, and they’re looking at each other, silently communicating the way only twins can.
“Where will you be?” Leia finally asks, looking at him with narrowed, suspicious eyes, bottom lip already jutting out.
Anakin blinks. “Wherever you are,” he answers.
“You won’t leave too?” Luke asks rather tremulously.
Anakin takes the pan off the heated plate and turns it off with a decisive flick of his wrist. “Of course not,” he says. “Come here.” He crouches down and barely has enough time to open his arms before the twins are there, pressing in as close as they can get to him. He holds them back just as tightly in return.
“I’m not going anywhere,” he promises into Leia’s hair. “Not without you two.”
—-----------------
It becomes apparent fairly quickly that this is, by necessity, a lie.
The twins don’t want to stay on Naboo, which Anakin is secretly incredibly grateful for. He doesn’t want to either, but he knows he’d just be called selfish should he express the opinion.
But the twins don’t want to go back to Coruscant either. This makes sense as well. It would be incredibly jarring for them to go back to living in the quarters they shared with their mother, her Upper Coruscanti apartments in the nicest district of the planet, without her there.
Anakin wishes it were as simple as sticking a pin on a planet and deciding to uproot the entirety of his family to live there. 
But it’s not.
Perhaps if he were still young, nineteen, newly free and in love with the taste of that freedom, it would be.
But he’s a widower now. He has his children to think about, their futures. Any planet he chooses must have what they need as well. 
And they are four year olds who have just lost their mother. Their needs are numerous.
What makes the decision for him in the end is that his boss knows a man from Stewjon, who is willing to hire him. Who is willing to pay a premium for his expertise with mechanics.
Anakin doesn’t know the first thing about Stewjon, other than that it’s an ocean planet in the Inner Core and his dead wife always said the Senators from Stewjon were so frigid and tight-lipped because they spent the first few days of each visit trying not to be seasick on the Senate floor.
Anakin isn’t sure why this is the very first thing he tells the man—his potential boss—he meets behind the counter in the mech-shop on Stewjon.
He’s left the children with their grandparents for the week—long enough to fly from Naboo to Stewjon, meet with his potential employer, interview, apply his work practically, and fly back out.
He’d explained to both twins why they had to stay on Naboo. He’d explained many times. That hadn’t changed the betrayed look Leia had worn as she saw him off. It hadn’t wiped the tears from Luke’s eyes.
“Ah, well, I can’t say I’ve heard that one before,” the mechanic says. He sounds amused, and Anakin is incredibly shocked to hear a Coruscanti accent. Everyone he’s spoken to since arriving planetside has had such a heavy brogue that he’d honestly struggled to understand their directions to the shop—Kenobi & Sons.
Anakin lets himself look again at the man behind the counter. He’s rather clean for a mechanic, he decides. His beard is red, a common factor around these parts apparently, but his beard is short and neat, trimmed to accentuate the strong lines of his jaw. His eyes are a stormy blue, the kind of blue that matches the Stewjoni ocean.
“Between you and me though,” the man smirks and leans onto the counter with his elbow. His tunic is dark gray, white starchy fabric peeking out beneath the v-necked collar. “I’ve never been a fan of Stewjoni politicians anyway.”
“Oh?” Anakin asks, sidling a step closer to the counter. The man has the beginnings of gray at his temples, and his eyes are lined with wrinkles. They don’t make him look old though, Anakin decides. They make him look…well-lived.
“I’ve not a head for politics much at all,” his future employer shakes his head slightly with a small smile. His eyes flick up and down Anakin’s face, lingering on his lips and then lingering longer on the scar over his brow. Anakin feels rather flushed under the inspection, and he shifts his weight forward until he’s leaning up against the counter too.
There’s something about this man that’s rather…magnetic. It pulls him in. It makes him want to linger.
Good characteristic for a shopkeeper to have, though Anakin privately decides that the man before him has a face that’s wasted on mechanics, buried under some ship’s underbelly in a backroom.
“Me neither,” he admits, a moment too late to sound anything but highly distracted. It makes the man smile again though, a flash of straight white teeth.
“Is there anything you do have a head for then?” he asks. His tone is light, airy, rather teasing.
This is the strangest interview Anakin has ever had.
“Um,” he says. “Well. There’s mechanics.”
“Oh?” The man’s eyebrow lifts at an elegant angle. He props his chin on the palm of his hand and looks up at Anakin through his eyelashes. “Then why come here to us then?”
“Um,” Anakin says, and not because the man looks rather unfairly flattering like this, amber eyelashes in sharp relief against the blue of his eyes.
They’re interrupted by the sounds of clattering in the backroom, stomping and cursing. The man before him straightens with a slight sigh and picks up the closest flimsipad. “And what brings you in here today, sir?” he asks rather loudly, pitching his voice back to the other room of the shop pointedly. “Problem with your speeder? Serving droid? Cruiser? If it’s your astromech droid, I regret to inform you that I’ll have to refuse you service on account of the fact that I don’t particularly care for them.”
Anakin thinks he splutters, but whatever noise he makes is definitely drowned out by the rather irritated shout of Obi-Wan! that comes from the back.
A moment later, a man storms through the door, looking annoyed. "We will service an astomech if that's what's broken, Obi-Wan."
Now this is a man that Anakin can believe is a mechanic. His nails are blackened with oil, and his bare, burly arms carry smudges of the stuff. He’s much broader than the man—Obi-Wan—that Anakin had been talking to. He’s bald with a reddened scalp and a rather large red beard that’s the antithesis of the other man’s in every way. His clothes are dirty, loose, and the color of ash. He looks older too—whereas Obi-Wan could easily be in his thirties, this man must be pushing fifty.
He snaps at Obi-Wan in a language that Anakin doesn’t understand. Obi-Wan shrugs and hands over the flimsi pad without argument.
“Um, actually,” Anakin says, feeling incredibly wrong-footed. “Which one of you is Kenobi?”
“I am,” both of them say. Obi-Wan’s smirking slightly. The other man’s voice is louder, carrying that Stewjoni accent so obviously lacking in Obi-Wan’s speech.
The older man closes his eyes as if he’s praying for patience. “We both are,” he says. “Though if your ship’s malfunctioned, sir, I’m the Kenobi you want to see. This one’s good for naught but magic tricks.”
“I have been told I’m rather good at other things,” Obi-Wan turns his smirk full-force at Anakin, dropping his eyes to Anakin’s lips once more.
“My name is Anakin Skywalker,” he says very quickly in a very normal tone of voice that is most definitely not a squeak. “I’m here to interview for a position. As another mechanic.”
“Oh,” the older Kenobi says.
“Oh,” the younger Kenobi says in a much different tone.
The older Kenobi pinches at his nose for a moment before turning around the counter and offering his hand. “Ben,” he says. “Ben Kenobi.”
Anakin takes his hand and shakes it, eyes traveling back to Obi-Wan. Is he supposed to shake his hand too?
“I’m the Son in the sign,” Ben says gruffly as if that answers his question.
“I’m the reason it’s plural,” Obi-Wan adds, busying himself with the contents of the counter. From what Anakin can tell, the man is just messing up the carefully organized piles of receipts. 
He decides that he would rather not get the job than point this out to Ben.
Ben huffs out something in Stewjoni that sounds downright insulting, but that doesn’t stop Obi-Wan from smiling sunnily up at Anakin. “My brother enjoys bitching and moaning that I came back home when I was seventeen, but he’s awfully quick to foist his children off on me when he’s called to shift at the rig offshore and Marci’s off-planet too.”
Anakin blinks. He feels like that’s the safest answer.
“Only thing good that blasted Jedi Order ever taught you was how to handle younglings,” Ben says, and then spits on the ground as if the words themselves have left a bad taste in his mouth.
Anakin blinks and wonders if he should say something to remind the brothers that he’s here. For an interview. “And my magic tricks,” Obi-Wan rolls his eyes slightly before catching Anakin’s eye and winking. With a wave of his hand, a flimsi-sheet flies over the counter and into Anakin’s chest. He catches it unthinkingly. “Would you like to sign in, sir?” “Get out of here,” Ben barks, snatching the flimsi from Anakin’s hand and pushing it back to the counter. “Like I said, the only one’s impressed with that is the younglings.”
“I don’t know, your man looks impressed,” Obi-Wan says slyly, even as he pushes himself away from the counter and around the edge of it.
Anakin isn’t sure what he looks like. He doesn’t think impressed is the word he’d use though.
When Obi-Wan brushes past him, the static electricity in the air jumps between their shoulders. Anakin feels as if he’s been shocked.
Obi-Wan must feel it too because he stops only a few inches away and looks at Anakin. For the first time, his expression is open. Curious. Considering.
“Get!” His brother insists, and Obi-Wan obeys, throwing one last look over his shoulder at Anakin before he slips out the door.
The shop feels somehow much bigger now that the other man has left. Ben sighs and rubs a hand down his face. He looks older now. More worn. “So that was my brother,” he tells Anakin wearily. “Who you would most likely see frequently if you were to take this job. I would understand completely if you would like to start by talking compensation.”
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uncanny-tranny · 1 year
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Sending so much respect and love to people whose English is "broken." Whether that is because of disability, immigration, age, you haven't been studying long - it doesn't matter why your English is the way it is.
The best thing about language is how versatile it is - that means there are an infinite number of ways to express yourself. Your broken English is beautiful! It is a vital part of the English language. It doesn't need to be "perfect" to be valuable. There are people out there who will put in the work to make sure both of you are understood, just like you are putting in the work to communicate 💐
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good-beanswrites · 2 months
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I wanted to bring up a silly ship idea. Just for fun.
03, 06, 09, 10
Was this before Kotoko attacked them? After? I dunno.
Thoughts?
YES the cringefail 20yo polycule 👏👏👏 Thank you for the request! I've seen a lot about the individual pairs, so it was really fun to think about all their dynamics together! I have a set of hcs that could work in the current canon Milgram, and then a normal au set because it's so fun thinking about them :3
Milgram-focused
The I’m-a-loner-who’s-doing-it-for-justice-don’t-TOUCH-me pair finally meet their match when confronted with the I-loved-someone-so-much-and-don’t-plan-on-stopping pair. They all go into the relationship with grand ideas of love: they think it’s all heroic acts of saving, massive gestures or love, and dramatic confessions. Over time, they realize the real heroism/romance is in the little things. 
Mahiru has her hands full with three people who neglect themselves for the sake of their work/interests, but she always loves feeding them and helping give them what they need. In turn, they can give her more affection and attention than she could ever ask for. They make sure someone is always around to spend time with her.
Each of the three is a perfect match for dealing with John’s reveal. Mahiru is calming and helps tone down Mikoto’s initial stress. Fuuta is honest and will help Mikoto finally confront his own situation and move forward. And since Kotoko can match his strength, Mikoto doesn’t need to be afraid of accidentally hurting anyone. Mikoto becomes less stressed with the overall situation as well as more accepting of himself/John.
I always love the idea that Fuuta is secretly starstruck by Kotoko and John’s strength. He’ll never admit how much he admires their ability to stand up and fight. He feels really safe around them. He’s glad to have the opportunity to fight for someone else, too – he likes to be Mahiru’s self-proclaimed protector and hero. (Even though most of the time she can stand up for herself, she still likes letting him take care of her.)
Kotoko’s experiences let her hold solid conversations with everyone. She’s similar enough to Fuuta where they share some interests (social issues, schooling, etc.) She understands hard work and burnout to earn Mikoto’s respect. She understands physical strength to earn John’s. She has a lot of people-knowledge, so she can gossip and talk about Tokyo life to Mahiru (Mappi’s doing most of the ‘gossiping,’ but Kotoko has solid additions). She's a good listener and has a good memory, so everyone feels heard by her.
They start to rub off on each other. Mahiru and Mikoto learn to be a bit tougher in standing up for herself. Fuuta, John, and Kotoko learn to take a breath before jumping right to violence. They stay very much who they are, but pick up on just a few habits that make their lives easier.
Their styles also influence one another: Fuuta gets pointers from all three about piercing his ears (though it takes him a long time to get up the nerve to do it). Mahiru helps the others dress more trendy and boost their confidence, and they teach her to worry less about her appearance and relax more. 
If they get together T1, Kotoko is shocked by the T1 verdicts. She might pull away from everyone in initial horror, but after developing a relationship ahead of time, she doesn’t follow through with her attacks. If not, then maybe in T3 when Kotoko is suffering from her guilty verdict, Mahiru and Mikoto are able to bridge the gap and develop a friendship, leading to more. Fuuta would take longer to come around, but I think seeing Kotoko got through the same pain as him, his hero instincts would kick in and he’d gradually help. 
Normal-au
Mahiru once again tries out her lovers’ interests, and gets a bunch of new hobbies. Fuuta teaches her to game, she works out with Kotoko, and she tries out photography with Mikoto. She becomes close with Fuuta’s beautician sister, and enjoys bonding over fashion and hair. She helps redye Mikoto’s hair, and give the other two pointers on style now and then. When going to nicer events, she and Mikoto have to step in and stop the others from their sneaker/hoodie combos. As the only one with a license, she’s the designated driver at all events, but doesn’t mind. 
Fuuta uses his tech skills to set up social media accounts for the others. He helps Mahiru network her flower shop, fighting anyone who leaves a bad comment/review. He helps set up a complex online portfolio for Mikoto. He and Kotoko still have a passion for justice, and he becomes the tech brains behind her vigilante operations (very Ron Stoppable - Kim Possible) It’s not necessarily healthy growth, but they’re happy with it lmao
Mikoto is the only full-time worker, the others are all still in university, and he makes sure to keep them all on track. He knows the most efficient tricks and cheats about getting papers done, pulling all-nighters, and cramming before an exam. The others have learned to spot when he’s burning himself out for others, and will stop him when he tries to take on too much. They’ll take care of him and force him to rest. While he can still get into a bit of trouble, John learns to call them first and get some help. 
Kotoko has trained herself to find people and information easily to catch criminals, but she finds use for it in much more mundane ways – she tracks down clients for Mahiru, snoops around Mikoto’s company to make sure he’s being treated right, and keeps an eye out for the people Fuuta is calling out and/or hanging out with. She goes on runs with Mahiru, and bike rides with Mikoto. Fuuta tags along sometimes to strengthen his legs for soccer. 
There’s definitely potential for them all to have their murders pre- or mid- relationship, and they help one another improve themselves and heal. I’m also a sucker for the relationship itself to cause them to change their ways and narrowly avoid the murder in the first place. (For the latter, Mahiru would ironically be the last to join the relationship, since she’d still be with her bf until the other three inspire her to break it off with him gently.)
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cakesmelons · 9 months
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With the powers I've been granted as a creator and owner of this very wonderful and logical rizz tl I have declared shattered joined the battle! I mean harem... so— Epic is such a rizzler he traveled through godam timelines to find a new bitch ..harem member?
Even funnier, I mean more fun, this Shattered killed his own Cross and Epic during the chaotic moments of his corruption ;3 ISN'T THAT FUN? 👁️w👁️
Shattered needs time processing the oddly reindeer like skeleton is similar to the oddly skeleton like reindeer.... I'm sure he'll be fine. Dream needs time to process there's another him— also u know the tension(problems?? I'm learning words gimme a sec) between Error and the Dreamtale twins? It's even worse between him and shattered... just how many times have they held shattered back from killing Error?
Shattered isn't like all that great around the harem.. and a little odd around the reindeer because despite that rizz he's still an oddly reindeer like skeleton similar to the oddly skeleton like reindeer. Aand a little protective over his not brother brother, Nightmare because of should be obvious reasons... But he's having a better time... at least he isnt eternally suffering anymore :( **proceeds to make him suffer more/....j ☺️
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angeltannis · 2 months
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Finally started In Tanta We Trust and ngl it makes me a little nauseous that this world with SO much interesting and thought-out lore is most likely just gonna rot in IP hell forever because gamers are racist
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eddies-spaghetti · 5 months
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I’m thinking about the league a lot tonight.. i kinda feel like i’m gonna cry now
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backslashdelta · 5 months
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What if I quit my job so I could dedicate more time to writing silly little stories and making silly little gifsets and posting silly little posts
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xmrnothingx · 1 year
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Samus Aran from Metroid
One night I suddenly wanted to draw Samus in a cool pose, and here is the result. Been a while since I drew the modern Zero Suit Samus design
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storm-of-feathers · 6 months
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I'm so close to breaking lol but we stay silly
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robinmage · 2 days
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no kind of relationship will ever be as impactful as the slightly toxic slightly homoromantic hyperdependent bestfriendship you had with someone when you were like 12
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bitterpngs · 1 year
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[ID: two drawings of yuuji itadori from jujutsu kaisen. he is holding a bunny in his arms and has it placed next to his face. he is grinning happily with one eye closed. he is wearing his school uniform and he has acne all over his face. he also has an ear piercing. he also has two scars. a diagonal one between his eyes and another on the corner of his mouth. there are sparkles surrounding him. the background is purple and the figures are a soft white with a pink gradient. in the second picture, purple bunnies are in the background as a pattern. end ID] 
🐇 🐇 🐇 ❗❗❗
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tennessoui · 2 years
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Miss Kit, if you’re still taking prompts. How about “You love me, right?” for AU where Mafia boss Anakin corrupts Obi-Wan.
hi hi hi!!! so this was a bit weird to write because the au in question is really like 1-2 posts (i know there's an original but i can only find the follow up) which means it was a lot of building!!! which was cool but also that means this is actually 2.5k rip
anyway this is an au where basically young detective obi-wan is sent undercover to infiltrate mob boss anakin's criminal organization and he's successful but he falls in love with anakin in the classic 'got too deep and can't get out' thing. at least anakin loves him and loves corrupting him. (this is dark--duh--and age reversal, so obi-wan is 23 and anakin is 39.)
sorta a reverse pbatmb but not because i think there are really fascinating differences between the stories but it is a dark mob boss story with flipped mob bosses, so it's a LITTLE reverse pbatmb lol
anyway
(2.4k)
It isn’t surprising that Anakin is waiting for him, not really. He’d probably had him tailed to the police station and back again. He might even have told his man to kill Obi-Wan should he not exit the building within fifteen minutes.
After all, letting Obi-Wan run away once was about proving a point. Twice just looks bad.
So he’s not surprised that upon stepping into the lobby of Anakin’s restaurant, his elbow is caught by one of the men. “Vader wants ya,” Ahsoka tells him. She sounds grim.
“Tell me something I don’t know,” Obi-Wan replies. Maybe it’s because he feels—free. Maybe it’s because he feels confused and like he’s swallowed a ball of lead that transformed itself into a hornet’s nest upon contact with his stomach. He shrugs Ahsoka’s hand off. “I know where to go.”
Ahsoka doesn’t say anything, but she does sneer. She didn’t like him much before she found out he was a rat. She especially didn’t like him after he ran that first time, no matter that at the time he’d thought he was running for his life. She probably didn’t think his life was worth the trouble he’d caused.
They’re both lucky Vader thinks differently.
“Watch your step,” she tells him like it’s a threat, at the base of the grand staircase that leads to the second floor. Ostensibly, there’s more dining up there for anyone in want of a table at a hot, fancy, popular restaurant with countless awards. Realistically, Obi-Wan knows that the second floor of the restaurant is where Anakin conducts his business.
His other business.
“Thank you,” Obi-Wan replies, pausing on the third step to look down. It’s the events of the past twenty-four hours that make his tongue loosen in a way that only Anakin has ever rewarded him for. “He says you’re jealous.”
Ahsoka’s eyes flash in the low light as she takes a step closer. She’d been about to retake her spot at the front, the guard dog of Vader’s mob. “What.”
Obi-Wan steps down until he’s only one step higher than her. It makes them almost the same height. “He says you’re jealous,” he repeats. “Ani does.”
Obi-Wan never calls Anakin Ani, not unless he’s been told to by the man in scenarios where it helps both of them with their covers: Anakin as someone to underestimate. Obi-Wan as someone to write off. It works now too for a vastly different reason. The only one allowed to call Anakin by his first name is Obi-Wan himself. Not even Ahsoka, his apprentice, can.
“I’m not,” Ahsoka snaps. She grips the bannister so hard that her knuckles turn white.
“Really?” Obi-Wan asks. “Because, well. I was an undercover cop, he caught me, he still kept me, and then I slashed his face, I ran away, and when I came back he still welcomed me with open arms. But you—he broke your finger for bungling the shipment I told Windu about. I’d be jealous too, in your place.”
Ahsoka tries to take a second step up, be on level with Obi-Wan, but he stops her with a hand raised and placed on her neck. “Now, now,” he says. “Vader wants to see me.”
Anakin’s apprentice snarls but lets him go. She always has to let him go because Anakin loves him. Anakin wants him.
“One day, someone’s going to show you your place, Ben,” Ahsoka takes a step back, a strategic retreat.
“I know my place, ma’am,” Obi-Wan says in Ben’s accent, soft and unassuming, framed and workshopped off of Vader’s own speech patterns because the linguist the police hired had thought it would breed familiarity. “Similar to yours, it’s beneath Anakin. Mine just comes with more perks.”
He loves me for one, he doesn’t say. He doesn’t particularly want to shove a crowbar into Anakin’s relationship with his apprentice. Not because he doesn’t think Anakin would forgive him for it, but because it sounds more complicated than it’s worth. Ahsoka will adjust. Anakin will make sure of it.
He doesn’t love you, an unwelcome voice murmurs in the back of his head. The memory is fresh. Mace Windu, senior detective, had said that not even an hour ago, clutching Obi-Wan’s resignation letter tightly in both hands. Parting words that had landed like a grenade in his mind, even as he tried to shake it off.
Has anyone ever? He’d shot back, eyes drawn without his express permission to stare heavily at the sheriff’s closed door. Qui-Gon had refused to see him. His own father—he makes one choice he doesn’t approve of, slips and stumbles in a situation his father sent him into, and suddenly Qui-Gon Jinn never adopted a boy.
He’d left the station soon after, but not before Detective Windu hda fired a parting shot: I’d hate to see you spend the rest of your life catering to your daddy issues.
Obi-Wan hadn’t even really thought about the words, what they meant, not until he’s walking through the open doors of the second floor to see Anakin lounging in a firm chair at the head of a table. The table is laid heavy with food: fruit, cold meats, cheeses, pasta, salads, oysters.
All of it untouched. Some of it Obi-Wan had admitted to never trying, some of it he’d told him were his favorittes.
Anakin smiles when he sees him, dropping the knife he’d been spinning around in his fingers to hold out a hand as he shifts his body, readjusts to rest his chin on his fist. “Welcome home, baby. Happy retirement.”
Obi-Wan gets halfway from the entrance of the room to Anakin before he stops. He doesn’t mean to. He’d been ready and willing and eager to climb into the older man’s lap, kiss him dirty, lick down the pink scar over his eye that Obi-Wan had given him. But—he can’t shake Mace Windu’s words. Men like Skywalker can’t love. You’ve found yourself in the eye of a hurricane, but storms move quick. 
It had been his mentor’s last piece of advice for him, before his feelings and disappointment had turned his words into insults and petty blows.
Men like Skywalker can’t love.
“Baby?” Anakin sits up straight, head cocked slightly as he studies him. “Did they give you trouble? Quitting a job isn’t illegal. You gave them two weeks and everything. Well, I did. But you were there. You were quite…enthusiastic.”
Obi-Wan swallows and can feel a blush burn down his face and across his cheeks. He remembers the terms of which Anakin had called into the police department, asked to speak to Obi-Wan’s supervisor, and smugly told them that as Obi-Wan’s new employer, he was phoning to let them know that Obi-Wan was giving a two-weeks notice, but that they had talked about it, and Anakin would allow him to finish up on any current assignment he was working on.
The assignment Obi-Wan had been working on was, of course, infiltrating Anakin’s criminal organization while undercover as a lackey from out of town named Ben.
Obi-Wan had, at the time of the call, been on his knees beneath Anakin’s desk.
“Come here, Benny,” Anakin purrs. Obi-Wan has never liked that nickname, not since the very first time the mobster had called him it, and he thinks he probably knows.
He’d studied Anakin, right, before he’d gone under. He knows that Anakin still sometimes calls him Ben on purpose because Obi-Wan can never stop the flash of guilt he feels at having started a relationship with Anakin before the older man knew who he really was. He knows Anakin uses it against him. He knows Aanakin probably can’t even help it. 
It still stings. Many things do, in their relationship. But Anakin kisses the hurts better every time. He’s the only person who has ever said he loved Obi-Wan and then—then actually tried to make good on the promise.
Obi-Wan’s mouth is dry, but he has to ask. “You—you love me, right?”
Anakin blinks at him and lounges back in his seat to look at him consideringly. His hand drops down onto his thigh. Like this, the man looks more Vader than Anakin, and it makes Obi-Wan shiver. No one in the precinct actually, really thought Anakin Skywalker had dual personalities, and perhaps Obi-Wan should know better than everyone else. But he doesn’t.
Sometimes Anakin looks at him and all he can see is Vader in his eyes, the way his hands are rougher on Obi-Wan’s form, the short staccato sentences and the resting frown that even Obi-Wan cannot kiss away. Vader is…territorial. There has never been a single meeting that Obi-Wan has attended where Anakin looks like Vader that he has not attended in the man’s lap. It’s not as if Anakin is lightyears better or anything, still as possessive, jealous, but sweeter too.
Obi-Wan doesn’t know what these differences mean. He isn’t sure Anakin would elaborate if asked. 
And a part of Obi-Wan—a part of Obi-Wan simply does not care. Not if both—one—either—whatever—not if Anakin, whoever Anakin is at any given moment, wants him. Loves him.
“Do I love you?” Anakin repeats. It’s an embarrassing question, all things considered. It reeks of every insecurity Obi-Wan has ever harbored in his soul. And even though most of them have been teased out by the man in front of him, dissected and examined, the words still bruise to hear spoken so lowly in the air. “Come here, Obi-Wan.”
This time, Obi-Wan goes, closing the distance between them quickly. Before he can scramble into his lover’s arms, the man stands up so that their fronts brush against each other.
It feels far too close and not close enough, and Anakin must agree because his arm brushes against the backs of his thighs and pushes up in the universal sign to jump. Obi-Wan does, wrapping his arms around his neck for further balance.
Anakin catches him with ease. Obi-Wan’s only twenty-three, not yet grown into his shoulders, so he’s fairly light to carry, but it helps that Anakin is almost forty, all broad shoulders and height and muscle put on from a life of fighting.
“Why else would I have taken such an interest in you, sweet baby Ben?” Anakin croons as he lays him down on a couch meant for reclining with after-dinner drinks. Mostly the couch is where Anakin fucks him if he doesn’t want to wait to get back to his apartments. “Take you in, off the streets, a stripper who punched my best friend in the face because he was flirting with a girl?”
“She was half his age,” Obi-Wan mutters, turning his face up and away. He’s never going to apologize for it, even if it hadn’t been how he was supposed to make contact with Anakin’s mob in the first place.
Anakin hums and catches his jaw. “Hm. Point is, baby, why else would I have let you get so close to me, wearing all my pretty things, ignoring all the alarms in my head saying you knew me too well, too fast, if I didn’t love you?” His hand tightens and Obi-Wan gasps out.
He’d read the files on Anakin. He’d read every Business Insider article. He’d read everything he could get his hands on. Of course he’d known so many things about the man. That had been his only job. Get close to Anakin Skywalker.
Task succeeded.
Anakin Skywalker’s lips trail from his cheekbone down and then up again, to the edge of his temple. Obi-Wan knows what he’s going to say before he says it. “Why else would I let you into my bed, if I didn’t love you? Why would you be the only person allowed to see the twins whenever you want if I didn’t love you? Why else would I be so terribly upset to find you in this very room, in this very position with one of my men, if I didn’t love you?”
Obi-Wan tries to move, to thrash and shiver and run his hands over Anakin in return but somewhere between laying him down and now, the man has caught his wrists in one of his big hands while the other runs up and down Obi-Wan’s torso.
The man—Maul—had followed Obi-Wan one night to a meeting with Detective Secura. He’d overheard everything, had known Ben to be a rat, but he hadn’t confronted him about it for two days. He’d waited until he could get him alone, in this room. Obi-Wan had been sitting at the table, sipping water, knowing he couldn’t eat until Anakin returned from his drop-off.
Maul had threatened him. Threatened to tell the mob, threatened to tell Anakin. Obi-Wan had been confronted with the thought of losing Anakin or losing his cover and he hadn’t reacted well. He’d known exactly how long it would take Anakin to get back, so he’d stalled until the last minute before offering himself to Maul in exchange for his silence.
He’d seen the looks. He’d known he wouldn’t be turned down.
He’d also known Anakin would kill Maul if he found him on top of him. Which he had. To both.
“Why would I forgive you after, if I didn’t love you, sweet thing?” Anakin murmurs, mouth still pressed to his temple. “Why would I forgive you for trying to fuck another man into silence, for lying to me about your name, for hurting me and leaving me, if I didn’t love you?”
Obi-Wan whimpers. Anakin’s hand has migrated to his throat and he’s putting so much pressure on it. He’s hurting him. He’ll probably never hurt him as much as Obi-Wan hurt him. Maul had managed to accuse Obi-Wan as being a rat before he’d died. Anakin, fearsome and covered in blood, had turned to him with one golden eyebrow raised.
Obi-Wan had tried to flee. For some reason, that had been the moment Anakin had become enraged. He’d tackled Obi-Wan to the floor. They’d fought, Obi-Wan has a scar on his palm still, long and deep. He’d grabbed the knife Anakin had slit Maul’s throat with with his open palm flipped it to his other hand, and cut out at Anakin’s face. The move had gotten him off him, just long enough for him to run.
“If I didn’t love you, baby, why would I have gone to find you? Why would I have made it so very clear that your place was by my side? Why would I have given you the choice to come back or stay away forever? Do you think I often give rats those sorts of choices?”
Obi-Wan shakes his head. It hadn’t taken him long. Anakin, that is. He’d found him hiding in his apartment—Obi-Wan’s, not Ben’s. Obi-Wan had come home from a shift to see Anakin lounging on his sofa, reading through one of his favorite books, skin around his right eye carefully bandaged.
It hadn’t taken Obi-Wan long either, to decide. Anakin hadn’t even gotten out of the building before Obi-Wan had made his choice. He hadn’t—he hadn’t wanted to leave Anakin. The man had said he loved him. He hadn’t—he hadn’t wanted to be without his love again, he’d do whatever necessary.
“I’m not a rat,” Obi-Wan gasps, and the hand around his neck loosens as Anakin takes his hand away to look down at him in interest. 
“Oh?” he asks. “What are you then?”
“Your baby,” he breathes, eyes falling to half-lids as he adjusts their bodies so that they’re as close together as possible.
“Mm,” Anakin agrees, leaning down to bite gently at the skin of Obi-Wan’s bottom lip before letting go. “Guess I’m just wondering then. I think the real question should be…does my baby love me?”
Obi-Wan lets his eyes fall completely shut as he tilts his head up in silent demand for a proper kiss.
After all, Anakin has a point. The answer should be obvious.
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ni-kol-koru · 9 months
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Happy Birthday to my Sunshine Boy 🌻 🩵 ☀️
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akkivee · 4 months
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SOMEBODY NEEDS TO STOP RHYME ANIMA (DONT)
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phoenixcatch7 · 1 year
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Okay but like Peter Parker reincarnated as dick grayson angst
#peter parker#dick grayson#nightwing#spiderman#Me in my little head listening to music and suddenly it auto fills a gap that wasn't even there and now I can't stop thinking about it#batman#story prompt#fic prompt#Fic idea#The angst would be juiciest if he didn't keep his powers#So like he's always pushing his body further to try and gain back just an inch more of what he had#Because even as spiderman he was too slow or weak to save everyone and he never realised just how dependent he was on his spider sense#At first he's living the dream with alive loving parents and acrobatics and travelling the world in peace#He's crushed when they die. In a way spiderman could have so easily prevented with his webs. He had to watch AGAIN. He's furious#With his experience from his previous life he latches onto batman and creates Robin from that. He balances school and hero life once more.#He becomes night wing when Gotham grows too dark and stifling. He needs out. To be a solo hero again. He hates that he has to leave batman#But at least he's alive to be mad.#When he gets siblings wow new experience!! Batman parenting normal kids is Such a bad idea but he'd die for them!#Then everything cascades and batman goes from iron man/daredevil to punisher/black widow and Jason doesn't want to listen#Even tho he died too and it hurt and b had a bio kid and he's batman until he isn't and he misses aunt may and still he loves being alive#Because spiderman was killed#And nightwing is older than he will ever be
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