#i knew this ship hadnt sinked

[ninak803]

Hey so idk what kind of ships you like to write so if you're feeling up to it, 3 or 11 for wolfstar? Plz 🥺 but only if you feel like it no pressure 💙

Oooh Anon, thank youuu! I hope you like what I wrote. Sorry for grammar mistake & all that. & Because I couldn't choose, I wrote both! It's not much but it's something! The second one is a bit angsty though.. Ups. Thanks for the ask!❤️

3. I just told you I liked you but now I'm shy and say "Never mind, forget it" and why are you looking at me like that?

Remus' heart skipped a beat, his eyes growing wide in surprise as what he'd just said sinked in. Oh no.

He hadnt meant to say it, it had just slipped and now he couldn't unsay it. He let out a shuddering breath.

“Never mind, forget it.”

He sat up, but Sirius held him back, pulling him closer again. Remus wanted to resist but his body refused to listen to him, now that he was lying next to Sirius again, their arms touching gently. He turned his head to look at the boy next to him, just to find Sirius already looking at him, a smug grin on his face. Remus wished he could wipe that smile from his face. As if Sirius needed more self confidence!

“Stop looking at me like that.” Remus turned his head to look at the ceiling of Sirius's bed. He could feel his cheeks growing hot and he knew he must be quite red by now.

“Re…” Sirius said softly, his hand reaching for Remus “Relax. I like you too. And I've told you so at least a hundred times before.”

He looked back at Sirius.

“You've never told me!”

“I did. After the full moons. When you were asleep.”

“I wasn't asleep, Ive been passed out! That doesn't count, I wasn't conscious!”

“I know.” Sirius grinned.

Then the boys started laughing wholeheartedly, their fingers entwined.

11. You've said you're going to leave but I don't want you to go and if I don't say something now…

Sirius was standing in the Potters flat, the main door was open and Remus said his goodbyes to James and Lily. He was about to leave for another mission for the order. Sirius didn't know any details, for his own safety, but he knew it wouldn't be easy. And he knew it wouldn't be safe in any form, the missions never were. Sirius watched as Remus hugged Lily one last time, then he turned around and walked out of the door.

“Remus, wait!” Sirius took a step forward.

Remus turned around, eyebrows raised.

Sirius moved his hand through his hair, unsure what to say. No. Unsure how to say it.

“I've got to leave or I'm going to be late.” Remus said.

Sirius didn't want him to go, he wanted Remus to stay here. With him. With James and Lily. Where he was save.

Sirius loved him and he'd never told him. He loved him and Remus didn't know and Sirius didn't know how many chances he had left to tell him. This could be his last one if Remus… No. This wasn't the last chance. But what if…

Sirius closed the distance between them and pulled Remus in a hug. He felt Remus arms around him after a moment, and felt how Remus pulled him closer.

“Just make sure you'll be safe and that you come home. Alive. I need you, Moony. I…” I love you

“I promise.”

Remus placed his forehead against Sirius, then, after a moment that was way too short, he stepped away and with a soft plop he vanished into thin air.

#ask #anon #prompts #wolfstar #remus x sirius #harry potter #sirius black #remus john lupin #remus lupin #sirius orion black

[uberoll-oystercrackers]

I posted 1,109 times in 2021

95 posts created (9%)

1014 posts reblogged (91%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 10.7 posts.

I added 3,481 tags in 2021

#steven universe - 1013 posts

#lars barriga - 846 posts

#sadie miller - 655 posts

#larsadie - 549 posts

#jenny pizza - 79 posts

#sour cream su - 79 posts

#buck dewey - 78 posts

#ronaldo fryman - 66 posts

#the cool kids - 65 posts

#ube art - 51 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#look... personally... i think as soon as it sinks in that he's going to outlive his parents aand his human friends he's gonna have a serious

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

what if sadie hadnt fallen into the ocean that day? would you have been the captain of the ship, and the captain of her 💚?

36 notes • Posted 2021-09-25 19:42:07 GMT

#4

god sent me here to rock you // he gave me a job to do // he sent me down because he knew // it's something no one else can do

42 notes • Posted 2021-09-05 02:22:40 GMT

#3

“This is so corny...” “I hate posing for photos, too, Lars, but our folks are really proud of us so let’s just grin and bear it.”

This was a surprise gift drawing I made for one of my friends, Smiley, who graduated earlier this year. She’s a really lovely person that continuously amazes me with the depth of her compassion and curiosity. She’s come so far and I’m really proud of her! And not to worry, I drew her a larsadie pic bc she loves them, too. 😂

47 notes • Posted 2021-10-15 23:15:53 GMT

#2

weird girl rising

173 notes • Posted 2021-12-03 23:22:50 GMT

#1

ugh haha so this was something that crossed my mind the other day after i saw someone say something incredibly funny about SUF. i would love to throw the quote in here but i don’t talk to that person so you know, would probs be weird lmao.

465 notes • Posted 2021-06-03 03:00:37 GMT

#all this tells me is that i need to post way more sadie miller content #it's nice to see ppl appreciating lars but like. the sadie miller content is so scarce #i must take up the helm #also so wild to see my fanart all in one post like this wtf... shoutout to me for providing the larsadie content in 2021 #also laffin so hard at my top post only being a top post bc milo and i could yell for days about things we loved in su vs things we just #didnt understand why they were in su or in there In Specific Ways lmao #also again... wow... shoutout to weird girl rising sadie for literally being the drawing that got the most love of anything i have ever #posted online for my entire life! like what!!! WILD!!! #tumblr rly got me man im like wow cant wait to see next year's review lmao #ube on a roll #long post #the way that longest tag cuts off oh my god lmaoooooooooooooo

[novannna]

If your still doing the writing asks... can I get angst 27 please! Any renegade ship is fine (can't choose lol)

ahhh im so sorry this took so long to post, i kinda forgot it existed then saw the doc and remembered i hadnt answered it 😭

also, i am still doing these!!!! I'd love it for people to send me sentence prompts (here)

i did danissa bc im literally incapable of not writing sapphics asgsdak

danissa break up fic, wc: 1003

Narcissa had always loved fairy tales. The way things always seemed to work out.

They followed a simple path, never changing.

Always once upon a time, and happily ever after. The things in the middle didn’t seem to matter.

Maybe a bit foolishly, Narcissa had wished for a fairy tale of her own. Her own knight in shining armor, her own happily ever after.

It was silly, looking back, but the Age of Anarchy sucked, and fairy tales were all Narcissa had.

But she’d grown older, and those fantasies of living out her own fairy tale faded. She didn't have any hope of a happily ever after. Looking out at the things around her, she had begun to believe that didn’t even exist.

There’d be no fairy tale ending. Because, everywhere around her, there was pain, and suffering, and loss. Those weren’t things in fairy tales, those were things from nightmares. Narcissa couldn’t believe she was in a fairy tale, because no fairy tale would ever be that dark.

They were supposed to be light, and happy, and hopeful, but in Gatlon, there was none of that.

So, Narcissa simply gave up that hope of knights, and fairies, and kisses that brought you back from the dead.

Those were simply things from stories.

Those were as fake as happily ever after.

---

Narcissa sat curled in a ball, pressing herself further into the couch. “Danna, what do you want to talk about?” There was that sinking feeling in her gut, but she pushed it away. This was fine, Danna was probably just wanting to talk about some new, big step in their lives. Maybe she wanted to move in together?

It had to be something positive, right?

Fuck, it had to be.

“Narcissa…” Danna looked away from Narcissa’s face. Her arms, her shoulder, her long braid, refusing to meet her eyes.

“Yes?” It was a struggle to keep her voice light. The look in Danna’s eyes…

No. Narcissa refused to consider it.

Danna cursed, and looked at her own fingers, furiously twisting and untwisting the loose fabric of her shirt. “You aren’t making this easy,” she muttered.

“Making what easy?” She tried to smile, but knew it was more of a queasy grimace.

“I really care about you. I think you’re great, really, I do. But.. we need to start to think about our future.” Danna took in a deep breath. “And- and what role we’ll play in each other’s.”

Narcissa could feel the tears pooling. She tried swallowing past the growing lump in her throat. “Danna,” she whispered. “What are you saying?”

“I don’t want to do this, but I have to. This is one of the hardest things I’ve done, because it’s you, Narcissa and I don’t want to hurt you.” Danna finally met Narcissa’s eyes. “I think we need to split up.”

Narcissa blinked. Blinked again. This wasn’t happening. It couldn’t be.

She tried to breathe in, keep on taking measured, even breaths. Not give in to the panic threatening to overtake her.

“Narcissa,” Danna pleaded. She sounded apologetic. As if she could begin to comprehend the rush of emotion Narcissa was feeling. “Say something. Please.”

Narcissa shook her head. “What is there to say?” She whispered in a hoarse voice.

“Please, ‘Cissa..”

“Don’t… don’t call me that.” Narcissa looked up, blinking the stinging tears away.

Danna nodded. “Okay,” she whispered. “Just say something.”

“I… why?” Narcissa looked at Danna again. “We’ve been through so much.”

“I care about you a lot, but just… forever’s a long time.”

“And you don’t want to spend it with me,” Narcissa finished.

“I didn’t say that!”

“You didn’t not say that either,” Narcissa shot back.

“I just don’t think we’re right for each other.”

Narcissa shook her head. “I did. I used to think that I’d live out a fairy tale life, and that I’d get a happily ever after. But I grew up, and realized those weren’t for me.” She swallowed, trying to get air past the lump in her throat. “Then I met you. I started to believe that maybe I could make my own happily ever after with you. I thought you could be my knight in shining armor. I started believing in fairy tales again. And now… now you’re saying that nothing we had was real? Our feelings for each other.. They were just some temporary thing.” Or worse, they’d just never even had them.

Danna shook her head. “That’s not what I’m saying! Narcissa, I really loved you, that’s not fake. Just, feelings change over time. We aren’t who we were. Things changed, we changed. I’m not saying everything is over. I just think we need to think about long term, and I think that we aren’t the best thing for each other. We both need to move on.”

“What happened to our happily ever after?” Narcissa whispered, eyes shining with tears.

“Not all love stories get happily ever after, sometimes it’s just once upon a time.”

“No. I can’t believe that.”

“Well, you’re going to have to,” Danna said brusquely, but not unkindly.

Still, the words sent daggers into Narcissa’s heart.

“I think you should go,” Narcissa whispered.

Danna nodded. “That’s probably best.” She tried to smile, tears gleaming in her own eyes. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry. Will you be okay?”

Narcissa nodded jerkily. “I can’t do this. Please just.. Just go. Don’t pretend everything’s fine.” She looked away. “I can’t be around you. Not right now.”

Danna opened her mouth, but closed it just as quickly. Instead, she stood, and walked towards the door.

Narcissa followed numbly.

Danna paused in the doorway, looking as if she was going to lean in, and kiss Narcissa goodbye.

She flinched, and shook herself. “Good night, Narcissa. I’ll see you around?”

Narcissa nodded. “I guess.”

Danna waved awkwardly, and stepped outside, letting the door swing shut.

Narcissa slid to her knees, and buried her face into her hands.

Happily ever afters really were just a thing in fairy tales.

#danissa #danna bell #narcissa cronin #danna x narcissa #renegades #wlwrenegades #archenemies #supernova #angst #i actually really liked writing this fic #and am v happy w how it turned out #which is surprising #anyways please like/rb/leave comments #i need constant validation #my writing #ask #anon #fic request

[getbacktoworknovice]

💀Over the Edge

[A one shot about Edward wanting to cliff dive and coaxing you into joining him~ Reposting some of my older Ao3 stuff~]

Edward Kenway was a fascinating creature.

He could climb to the top of a mast, jump from building to rooftop, raid ships and dig up treasure chests all while wearing these incredibly uncomfortable (and heavy) looking robes. You honestly had no idea how he did it.

Or how he was able to keep as silent as he did, prowling through underbrush and treetops as if he were some animal stalking prey. It was impressive as it was terrifying. You had seen all this first hand when Edward had saved you from a sinking man o’ war the year before. You’d been on board as a navigator when the pirates had raided it and Edward had graciously given you a choice between staying on the sinking ship or taking up with him and his men.

Your choice had been obvious.

His crew wasnt too thrilled with the idea. After all, it was bad luck to have a woman aboard but Edward said that was all “superstitious nonsense”. Since you were a navigator he used you in that sense helping him get to certain places on maps he had in his quarters. He was a fine navigator himself but he said he wanted to “give you a purpose aside from being a distraction to his crew”.

You had gotten used to his cockiness and his relentless flirting as well. He was no “ladies man” by any means though he proclaimed to be one. He got himself slapped fairly often for someone so “smooth” but you didnt make it a point to learn much about that side of him.

He had saved your life and you owed him. You were returning the favor by helping him find all the treasure on the maps he had “found” and so far you had been doing a far better job than even you knew you were capable. It had been quite an experience and while the crew was a bit rowdy when drunk they were a good hearted group.

You grew very fond of them and they began to treat you as one of their own. Swapping stories over ale and singing shanties together off key and horrible to annoy the one sailor who took his shanties seriously. They respected you too, though you suspected part of that was because Edward threatened to de-man anyone who tried anything with you.

You’d heard them often call you Kenways property.

You werent sure how you felt about that…

“Oi, Y/N!” You heard Edward call and you snapped out of your daze. The two of you were on some unnamed and uninhabited island his newest map had led you to. It took a bit of hiking as the treasure was located pretty high up next to a cliff but you two had made it and Edward had began digging.

You occupied yourself with your journal, writing down coordinates and recording what treasure was found as well as what the flora and fauna was like. Sometimes it took hours for Edward to find anything other times he would find it pretty quick.

Looking up you could see his half naked form coming out of the hole he’d dug. It was particularly hot today and you couldn’t blame him for shedding the heavy looking robes he wore. He drug his arm across his face to wipe away the sweat on his brow and gave a grin.

“I found it!” He said, beckoning you over as he leaned down to haul it up. It was a pretty good sized chest, big enough to hold a person it seemed. It certainly was heavy enough as you had to help him yank it out of the hole he’d dug.

Cracking it open he gave an excited exclamation as it was full to the brim with gold and jewels. “Geez, whoever hid this mustve robbed a nobleman or something.” You said in amazement as Edward happily inspected the gold pieces to make sure all was legit.

“There’s an entire fortune in here, and I’m sure glad we found it before the miserable soul I got that map from did.” He grinned closing the lid and standing up there beside you. Reaching over he ruffled your hair with a broad smile. “Good with your directions as always, thanks for the assist Y/N.” He said putting his hands on his hips as he looked out to the open sea, towards the Jackdaw he could still make out over the cliff.

“Well, I know you and I wont be able to haul this all that distance.” He said, giving the side of the chest a kick as you went to retrieve your journal. You groaned inwardly. That meant the two of you had to make the long hike all the way back to the ship and then back AGAIN to retrieve the treasure and back AGAIN to get it back to the ship.

Seeing you pull that face Edward gave a smirk. “Whats the matter love?” he asked crossing his arms and giving you a playful look. “Dont you like all the bugs and roots and rocks?” He teased and you swatted his arm.

“Quiet you, I just dont like the idea of doing all that hiking in this heat.” You admitted, slinging your bag over your shoulder with a sigh. “It IS hot today isnt it…” Edward remarked rubbing his neck as he turned with you to start the trek back but stopped you by grabbing your arm.

“Hey now wait a minute.” He said as you turned to face him quizzically. “I know a way we can get back to the Jackdaw faster AND get cooled off.” He said and you gave him a doubtful look. “Your not as good with shortcuts as you think you are captain.” You started but he pulled you with him as he began walking back to where he’d dug up the box.

“I guarantee this one will work.” He said as he brought you over by the cliffs edge, pointing down to where you could just make out the Jackdaw around the bend. “See? She’s right there.” He said and you cocked your brow at him.

“And? What are you going to do fly over to it?” You teased unsure where he was going with this. Shaking his head he gave you a mischievous smile. “Nope, WE are going to swim to it.” He said, putting his hands on his hips as he peered over the edge.

You blinked.

“What?”

He looked over at you, he had that look in those piercing blue eyes of his. A look that said “lets do something crazy and pray to God it actually works or we are so done for ” and you took a step back. “Oh you are NOT serious.” You said and he nodded as he saw the reality of his idea sink in. “I am love, think your brave enough to try it?” He teased and you backed up even more.

“I am NOT jumping!”

“Its the only way down–”

“I’ll hike this island a THOUSAND times before I do ANYTHING close to what your suggesting!”

“Come on love, your SUPPOSED to be a pirate!” He teased going towards you as you backed away. You huffed and placed your hands on your hips defensively. “I’m a navigator FOR a pirate, I never claimed to be one!” you insisted and Edward only laughed.

“Your guilty by association I’m afraid,” he said tilting his head at you as he saw your face getting pale at the idea of jumping off a cliff. “Come now, I’ve done this thousands of times, I promise you’ll be all right.” He tried to reassure you gently.

Gentle wasnt a side you saw of his too often.

Taking a deep breath you shook your head again. “No way, something will go wrong and I’ll die.” You said and he gave one of those smiles of his that made you wonder how he really felt about you at times. “It cant go wrong if you do exactly what I do,” He said and offered his hand. “I’ll hold your hand if you want me to?” He said.

Normally you would slap it away and just stalk off. You couldnt do this, there was no way…but there was something…almost exciting about the idea. You’d seen him leap off of building before, landing in haystacks or piles of underbrush even into the ocean and always emerging unscathed.

You could trust him…couldnt you?

Hesitating at first you finally took his hand. “F-fine! But if I die, I’m going to KILL you.” You insisted and Edward laughed aloud. “Now love, dont be that way, I promise you we’ll be all right.” He assured you and moved his hands to the strap of your bag to pull it off of you. “Im sure you dont want your precious journals ruined though, might wanna leave those behind.”

Taking your bag over by where he’d discarded his robes he beckoned you once more towards the cliff. Which might as well have been the edge of the world for you. You peeked over the edge skittishly, your heart beating a thousand miles a minute in your chest.

Edward was looking over as well but he had a sile on his face and a challenged look to his features as if this were some kind of test he was determined to pass. Seeing your nervousness he reached out and grabbed your hand. “Ready?” He asked and you almost jerked your hand away.

“As I ever will be I think…” You said quietly and he gave your hand a squeeze. “The most important thing to remember,” He said as you looked up at him. “Is to not hesitate. Jump first, think later.” you snorted.

“Oh yes, wonderful advice.” “I give only the best.” he smiled and took a few steps back, getting some distance between the cliffs edge for a running start, still firmly holding your hand. You hadn’t realized you were squeezing his so hard your knuckles had turned white but he didnt seem to mind. Or notice even.

He had strong hands.

“We’ll go on three aye?”

You nodded.

“Three!” He yelled and took off with you having to keep up. If you lived through this you would call him out for being a cheat. You hadnt even realized your feet had left the ground until you were both air born. It was the most terrifying and exciting feeling in your life. You had your eyes closed the entire time, the world rushing around you making you sick to your already upset stomach.

Soon enough though you felt Edwards arms wrap around you and opened your eyes right as the two of you hit the water. It took you a moment to get oriented and at first you freaked out because you were heavier with your clothes and all but you felt Edwards arm around your waist as he hauled the two of you to the surface.

You broke through the water with a gasp Edward taking in breath beside you as he surfaced. He was laughing like an idiot, his fist in the air in victory as he floated there beside you. The first thing you did after catching your breath was punch him in the arm.

“You cheated!” You insisted and Edward feinted pain at your punch giving you a wink. “Ah cmon now love, it was all in the name of building your confidence!” He teased, raising his arms in defense as you started swatting at him with your hands.

“Your insane!” You said but you had a big smile on your face and you were laughing. That had been quite a rush admittedly and…you even felt you could do it again. He only grinned at you, grabbing at your hands to stop your onslaught.

“Yes I am, but that is one thing you love about me right?” He teased and you blushed yanking your hands away. “Seriously Captain, your a mess.” You said, turning away to begin the short swim to the Jackdaw.

You heard him behind you chuckling to himself.

“Say what you will but you followed me over the edge of a cliff.” He called out to you as you made it to the ship, grabbing onto the wooden slats that ran down its side. You scooted over to make room for him as he climbed up beside you, gently running his hand through your hair.

“Your something else yourself Y/N,” He said, looking at you with those blue eyes of his making your heart thump a bit. “Something I havent quite figured out…but I am going to.” He assured you before giving a wink and climbing up onto his ship.

Leaving you with your face pressed against the wet boards trying to hide the big smile and blush on your face.

#edward kenway #edward kenway x reader #assassins creed imagines #assassins creed black flag #black flag #sassy pirate man #assassins creed

[5-falsehoods-phonated]

Possible fic request. Thomas still has trouble readjusting his views on things, having urges to go back to how it was before but he understands that is not right but he can't help it. Finally he breaks down and calls Janus himself (probably in tears), calling him by name and begging to help him. And the snakeboy is more then happy to talk some sense into him. At the same time, Virgil secretly watches them, slowly realising the necessity of Janus.

I love this Prompt, thank you for submitting it!

Shifting Sides

Summary: Thomas is having trouble adjusting to his newly acquired viewpoints on selfishness. Janus is given the opportunity to show this is a necessary change.

Warnings: none

Ships: none. Purely platonic Thomas and Janus

Thomas hung up the phone with a sigh, sliding down on the couch until he was being nearly suffocated by the cushions. His phone fell on the floor somewhere he didn't care to look as he shut his eyes and tried to breathe.

He felt awful.

He hadn't gone out since the wedding; despite the assurance he recieved from Lee and Mary Lee's visit that they still loved and appreciated him he had still felt stretched thin, the stress of the constant moral dilemmas running through his mind sapping any energy he might have had to do anything productive; even with the bit of self care he had been doing at Patton and De-Janus' prompting.

Other than reassuring Thomas that it was okay to have a break, he hadnt really heard from Patton lately. Roman still adamantly refused to see him even after a week of presumably sulking in his room. Thomas knew that line of thinking wasn't really fair to the fanciful side but any attempt to try and talk to him proved futile. Virgil and Logan weren't much different, only popping up occasionally when Thomas was dithering around doing one thing or another, barely exchanging more than a few words before sinking back out.

He really didnt even want to think of what Remus' input might be.

And that left Janus. Although he seemed pleased Thomas was following his advice he still made himself scarce, likely keeping on the down low until things settled down more. The mind scape was shifting and it was tearing his literal mind to metaphorical shreds.

Covering his face with his hands he groaned. Joan and Talyn had called to see if he had wanted to plan a hang out. He hadnt seen either of them in a while and the social interaction would probably do him some good. But just as he was about to say yes he noticed how drained he still felt, slumping over the couch with a resigned set to his shoulders, eye bags that could rival Virgil's eye shadow carving deep hollows in his face. He knew in that moment he still needed time. He needed to refuse.

So he said no.

Joan had sounded disappointed on the phone, their tone dipping before assuring Thomas that they understood and maybe another time? Thomas had of course agreed, having to almost physically stop himself from apologizing and simply wished them well before hanging up. He knew he made the right decision but what if they hated him now because of it? Maybe they'd stop inviting him out with them, stop talking to him altogether because they could sense this was the beginning of the end. Since Thomas had refused this, maybe they thought that spoke for all future plans and they wouldn't want be friends with someone who could never bother to be there for them. What if-

Mentally berating himself he sat up, not noticing the hoodie wearing side that had popped up on the stairwell. Just as Virgil opened his mouth to speak however he was interrupted by Thomas himself.

"Janus?" The call was so quiet it was barely heard by even Virgils sharp ears, but the name that left his mouth sent him reeling. Why the hell was he calling on Deciet of all people? Shifting up the stairwell quietly he made sure go blend into the background, ready to intercept at any point.

"You called?" Janus stood casually by the window inspecting his glove clad nails, putting on his usual bored expression if only to hide his worry over the fact that out of everyone Thomas had called on him.

"Joan and Talyn called."

Janus nodded. "I'm aware."

"I told them I didn't want to go out."

The serpentine side regarded him carefully. "Just as well you did. I've barely seen you expend the energy needed to stay hydrated, I'd hate to see you attempt to brave the outside anytime soon."

Thomas hung his head, ashamed at his clear lack of initiative. Virgil watched with sharp eyes as Janus' demeanor softened.

"Creature of habit as you are you have become far too complacent in ducking your head and handing out what little you have on a silver platter. I'd be surprised if you took to taking for yourself every once in a while with anything other than a bit of guilt." He shifted slightly, offering a kind smile. "I assure you, you did the right thing. Your friends are observant. They would be able to tell you did not truly wish to be out."

"I've really set myself so deep in never saying no, I don't know how not to be there."

"Well," Janus glanced at the T.V., its blank screen showing his hosts dejected expression. "A distraction is a good start. Why not put on a movie or something, take your mind off of things for a while?"

Minutely, Thomas nodded, not moving to get up quite yet. Sighing, Janus made to sink out.

"Wait."

Pausing, he raised an eyebrow waiting for him to continue.

"Will you stay? Just for a little while?"

Pretending to think it over, he shrugged. "No."

A hurt expression passed over Thomas' face, quickly replaced with understanding. "Oh, okay. Bye then."

Smirking, he leaned on the arm of the couch. "Thomas, I said no."

The other looked up confused. "I know? And that's okay, I understand."

"Is it?"

"Of course it is. Why wouldnt it be?"

"Thomas." He looked at the man pointedly.

"What?"

"I said no. And you were hurt but you understood. I said no to your request of staying with you through an emotional crisis and you said it was okay."

"Yes?"

"So is it fair to say that if you said no to a simple hangout with people you've been friends with for years, they would also be understanding?"

Janus smiled as a look of realization replaced the sadness on Thomas' face, patting himself on the back discreetly.

"I- yeah that makes sense. Thank you for....well thank you."

"Oh I dont know how the light sides could ever stand it, being right all the time. It truly is aggravating." Winking at Thomas playfully he continued. "Now! What movie shall we watch to make you feel less like a piece of human garbage?"

Thomas shot him a confused look. "But you said no?"

Janus waved him off dismissively. "I was teaching you a lesson Thomas. Do keep up, won't you?"

Virgil watched as Deciet rummaged through their movie collection and Thomas busied himself setting up a comfortable nest on the couch. He didnt fully understand what had just happened but...maybe...

He spared Deciet...Janus....one more glance before sinking out quietly. He'd still have to keep an eye on him.

But maybe this could be the start of something better.

This work is also available on AO3 for anyones convenience. I'm still taking prompts so feel free to submit an ask if you like!

#sanders sides #sanders sides fic #thomas sanders #deciet sanders #janus sanders #virgil sanders #character thomas #ao3

[things-we-used-tc-share]

On the topic of love

(And how romance is not the be all and end all)

Warnings: None

Ship: Analogical

Plot: Virgil loves Logan and Logan loves Virgil, but romance has never quite fascinated them both. (QPR!Analogical) (Asexual!Virgil) (Aromantic!Logan) (Mentioned hyper-romantic and polyamorous!Roman)

Written for: @creativity-killed-thekitten and @softestvirgil (Yeah I saw u in the comments of that post)

It starts with a question, the first of many “Logan? Are you...gay?” Now it’s not as if anyone had assumed he was straight in the first place in all honesty, if you were part of this group it was assumed by them and everyone else that you were in fact, gay. It had only just dawned on Roman that whilst the other members of the group quite often discussed their sexuality, Logan had never done so. Roman also never knows when a question shouldn’t be just asked outright as he receives a swift elbow in the ribs from Virgil. 

“Not particularly,” The elder remains unfazed by the question however as he takes a sip of his coffee and leans back on the chair “I don’t actually experience romantic attraction at all, I believe the term is Aromantic,” Roman let’s out a ‘huh’ noise and looks down at his own drink before he decides that he had no idea that such a thing existed. 

“Cool,” he finally says with a shrug, his attention taken elsewhere. 

Virgil however, is digesting the information slowly. Unlike Roman, who loved everyone he came across romantically, possibly the perk of being A) hyper-romantic and B) Polyamorous, Virgil didn’t often find romance something that interested him. He knew he wasn’t Aromantic, he still occasionally had romantic feelings, but for him, platonic love was first and foremost.  

The youngest mulls this over in his mind for days after the situation before he simply bites the bullet and goes to Logan himself to talk more. Honestly, now that he’d thought of it he’d never actually seen Logan romantically invested in anyone; in high school whilst Roman and Patton had been endlessly gushing about boys, Logan had found books to be far more interesting. 

He’d known the other man for almost his entire life and he wasn't sure why he hadn’t put two and two together in the first place. “Hey L?” The elder hums in response from where he’s currently making two cups of coffee “Do you know what a queerplatonic relationship is?” Logan pauses for a moment with the spoon coming to halt in his hand as he searches his mind for an answer. Finally, he continues stirring and nods. 

“Yes, Virgil, I do,” He places the spoon in the sink and carries the two cups over too the breakfast bar, taking a seat opposite the other as he hands his coffee over “Is that what you came here to discuss?” Virgil nods “Well, I feel a queerplatonic relationship is possibly the only relationship other than generalized friendship that I could actually take part in,” He takes a sip of his coffee and makes a noise of discomfort as it burns his tongue. “When I first discovered Aromanticism as a term that I identified with, it frequented many of my searches,” Virgil, always the worrier, worried that Logan had gone through all that searching and looking for answers by himself. He wondered how Logan had felt then, had he been scared? Lost? Had he thought there was something wrong with him? The questions go through his mind before he finally settles on ‘Why didn’t he ask us for help?’ 

He supposes it’s because Logan is Logan. He’s never once asked them for help and he doubts he ever will. And all those questions may be questions Virgil wants to ask but he knows they’re not ones Logan’s going to want to answer. So he doesn’t ask. Maybe one day Logan will simply bring up the topic himself.

“Would you be interested in a QPR?” Virgil asks tentatively, his eyes focused on the coffee as it moves around in the white porcelain cup. Never before has he been interested in ceramics, but today was not too late to suddenly care about the texture of cups. 

“Correct me if I’m wrong Virgil, but it does seem like there’s a part of that sentence that’s gone unspoken,” Virgil finally dares himself to meet Logan’s gaze, but finds only a small smile on his lips “If you’re asking if I’m interested in a Queerplatonic relationship with you Virgil, the answer is yes,” Virgil feels the nervous feelings drift away just a little, like a rock easing up off his chest. Logan offers one of his rare genuine smiles and Virgil can’t really resist but smile back. 

They establish their boundaries as they go, Virgil had already made it known before he’d even hit the end of high school that he was Asexual and that sex was a big no for him; Logan, despite not being Asexual did not find sex to be a particularly interesting thing. Their relationship was not mutually exclusive, so should Virgil fall in love with someone romantically, Logan was all but happy for him to do so and vice verse if Logan wanted to seek experiences that Virgil could not provide outside of their relationship, Virgil was more than happy to let him (Even encourage him to do so). 

They both liked the quiet, it was their most common factor. Virgil would curl up beside Logan and the other would play with his hair and read to him in an otherwise silent room. Sometimes they would just lie together for a bit, Virgil would play on his phone and Logan would read or watch TV. It’s a comfortable existence when you have a friend who is there for you all the time, Virgil’s Anxiety would sometimes make its waves and Logan would know how to calm him down immediately. Something a little different from normal friendship. 

There was more continuity for a start, they’d see each other almost every day and Virgil would all but fling himself onto Logan’s couch whilst the other listened to him talk about just how long his day has been. They talked more, cuddled a lot, and sometimes they’d just exist in the same space in content. Logan especially became more open with the things he’d previously not been comfortable to talk about with anyone. Virgil eventually got answers to his unasked questions. 

“When I first thought about being Aromantic, I didn’t know what it was,” Logan starts, his eyes drifting from spot to spot on the wall and never at Virgil; he was anxious and this was a trait the violet-haired man could spot a mile away, his head rests on Logan’s shoulder to offer some quiet comfort. “You understand that I have always felt like I don’t fit in with other’s, even with the friendships I achieved throughout my life I’ve always felt like I was different for a multitude of reason’s,” Virgil nods, he had after all known Logan since they were very young, he hadn’t been blind to the comments others made about the elder boy. “I felt out of place my entire life and this was simply another reason why so it didn’t cause me much distress but I would be lying to say it caused me none at all,” Virgil gives the other man's arm a squeeze to show he is still listening.

“I know you, and I know you’re likely to be feeling like I should have told you or Roman or even Patton and you would’ve helped,” Virgil nods to show that Logan is correct “But if I’m being honest I felt like this was too small of a problem to consult you on, around the same time you were opening up to being Asexual, Roman had three different relationships that he was trying to balance and Patton was having a sexuality crisis that would have been too much stress, I didn’t want to interfere with your journeys in an attempt to figure out my own,”

Virgil softens a little, realizing the gap was there for him to talk as he gives Logan’s arm another firm squeeze. “I think you’re too kind Logan, sometimes,” It makes the man in question snort a little considering his entire life he’d been told the exact opposite “We can’t change the past, but in the future I want you to know no matter how big or small the problem is, or how distant or close we are, I will always be happy to help you,” The elder gives a small smile and kisses the top of Virgil’s head gently. 

“Thank you, Virgil,” He hadn’t quite known he’d needed to hear those exact words, but he quietly thanks his own ego for putting itself in check long enough for him to talk about it. 

Not long after, they curled up together on Logan’s bed. Logan, with one arm around Virgil’s shoulder, catching strands of his hair and twirling it between his fingers, hums whilst his eyes peer through his glasses to read the words on the open pages of the book in his free hand. A cup of coffee is going cold on the windowsill as Virgil slowly forgets it’s even there, his focus on the phone in his hand. He likes the comfort, he decides, the closeness, it could be intense sometimes but at the same time, the platonic intimacy was something he never really wants to give up. He smiles slightly and closes his eyes, allowing the darkness (Lit only by Logan’s calm blue reading lamp) to take over his tiredness, lulling him slowly to sleep. 

((asdfghjkl I hope this was okay? I’ve only ever been in one (1) QPR before so I hope I did okay with the representation! I know lots of QPR’s can be very different))

Taglist:

@analogical-mess //  @unikornavenger // @mycatshuman // @creativity-killed-thekitten//@theresneverenoughfandoms //@charmingprincey//@aclickonapostwillchangeyourlife//@heck-im-lost//@k9cat//@stilljittery//@romansleftshoulderpad//@sanderssideslibrary //@max-is-tired//@therealmoshar//@punsterterry//@trashypansexual//@miserykillme//@demigodnamedathena//@sevencrashing // @misunderstood-shadow // @aphriteblack // @jemthebookworm // 

Add yourself to my taglist:  Sanders Sides/Thomas Sanders

If you like what I do and feel like supporting my writing or my illustrations, then please consider buying me a virtual coffee!

#sanders sides #analogical

[youreonlylow]

Any ship and 39

Elu + 39 “I don’t love you anyless.”

Thank you for this prompt! In this universe Eliott hasn’t had an episode yet at least not that Lucas knows of. It’s basically Eliott telling Lucas about his MI. It mentions suicidal behavior and self harm so be careful. Enjoy!

They are lying in bed one morning. Very similar to the first morning they had spent together. It was a lazy morning, full of lazy kisses and lazy conversation. Lucas was lying on top of Eliott and they were smiling at each other. Eliotts legs bent, his thighs cradling Lucas hips. Comforting. There was so much fondness in Eliott’s eyes, but they also had a sadness behind all the light. Lucas knew Eliott’s past was a touchy subject, but he was curious. He usually stayed away from the topic unless Eli brought it up.

But he needed to know why his boy sometimes disappeared. Disappeared into himself and came back looking like he had just fought a battle. But mostly he needed to hear if Eliott was okay. Because Lucas didn’t always feel like he could reach Eliott and that there were walls in him that had not yet been taken down around Lucas. He needed to know why pain had ghosted around Eliott’s life.

He had seen the scars that hid under and around the edge of Eliott’s underwear. And Eliott knew he had. It had taken a while. At first Lucas didn’t understand why Eliott wouldn’t let Lucas go down on him, at least when it wasn’t pitch dark. At first, he thought it might be insecurity but Eliott didn’t seem insecure about anything else. And when he finally saw, he had understood. That Eliott would have let him in on so much more than just his body. Faint lines littered the pale skin. Some even words. Some deeper than others. They hadn’t talked about it because Lucas had waited for Eliott to bring it up, but he never did.

Eliott had a solemn look on his face, he had had for a while.

“What are you thinking of?” Lucas whispered out into the air between them.

A sad smile grew from Eliott’s lips. “My life before I met you. How much I love you and how lucky I am to have met you.”

“Then why are you sad?” Lucas was a bit puzzled.

“I am not. I am mourning.” Eliott smiled a little again but it quickly faded.

“Who?”

“The others. The Eliott’s stuck in the past. The ones at my old school. The ones who don’t know what’s coming to hit them. The ones that don’t understand. The ones that won’t. The ones that never met you. The ones who never made it this far.”

Eliott’s eyes are tearing up and slow tears fall from the corner of his eyes.

“I know that the idea of other you’s comfort you and it ensures you that you somehow made all the right choices… but for me, I can’t help but think of all the others that made the wrong ones.”

Lucas kisses Eliott. It short but reassuring. That he can keep going and that Lucas won’t go. But he also feels the wetness that flow from Lucas’s eyes. And he doesn’t want to hurt him with his pain. But Lucas looks at him and it is as if he can breathe. This beautiful boy, lying on top of him grounding him.

“The ones who gave up the fight. The ones who never figured out what was happening to them. I mourn them. Because I know, that there are probably a lot more of them than ones here with you. But I am so happy that I am. And I don’t want you to worry. Not anymore than I already know you do.”

They just look at each other for a while. Letting the meaning of Eliott’s words sink in.

“Well, what is going to happen to them?” Lucas asks so softly that Eliott can’t help but smile.

“I never told you this. And I know I should, because if something happens you need to know why.”

Lucas is frightened slightly by the words that have left Eliott’s mouth, but he doesn’t let it show. But he feared the reality behind the scars and the absence and the hurt in his eyes.

“I, uhm, I am bipolar, Lucas. It makes me very depressed at times and very manic at others.” The words hang in the air. Heavy. Revealing.

“Oh. Why didn’t you tell me earlier? And why now?”

“I was scared. I had an episode and it really fucked up my life. I lost friends, I couldn’t face them after. Because by the time I had come out of the hospital and dealt with the fact that I now had diagnosis… It was too late. All they knew was that… I was in the hospital… supposedly because I had tried to, uhm… They thought I tried to kill myself… I didn’t but I wanted to… And before that I did some stupid stuff because of the mania and it just wasn’t the same again. So, I left. I killed that part of me and moved on. But I can’t rid myself of the disorder, but I wanted to pretend for a while. You were new, not part of my old life and I didn’t want to scare you away. Or make you stop loving me.”

Eliott had taken his eyes away from Lucas while he had been talking, too scared to look him in the eye.

“Hey,” Lucas whispered and placed a hand on Eliott’s cheek, so that he looked at him properly, “I don’t love you any less.”

#skam france #elu #eliott demaury #lucas lallemant #lucas x eliott #fic #mine #request

[harlockauxillia30k-blog]

The Siege of Terra

The Imperial Cruiser Angelus had rotten luck, it had to be said.

Exiting warpspace after a semi-blind jump into the system, the Angelus emerged amid a traitor crusade battlegroup of multiple battlecruisers. After a minutes delay, the Angelus’ void shields began to be battered by multiple close-in broadsides. Though it tried to answer, the ship was completely outmatched and outgunned. Though those aboard it had little-time to take it in, the Sol system was a complete mess. Imperial defense had already fallen back to Terra herself, already legions of steel were dueling on Mars. Already a dozen other rocks and planetoids had been invaded. Now, Terra stood, a gleaming golden pearl bleeding red, as vast swathes of the ecumenopolis burned from planet-wide fires that consumed entire hab blocks. Dead dreadnoughts careened into the planets surface, smashing layers of cities down into silent dead rubble. And all along it, along with the glimmers of cities, small lines drawn haphazardly in all directions denoted Imperial forces fighting the traitor legions bitterly for every square inch.

Harlock marveled, even as rounds impacted the voids in front of him. He saw hundreds, thousands maybe, of smaller ships as they dueled in strike craft knife fights in the silence of the void.

When he came to his senses, he saw the characteristic signs of a failing void shield, and turned to his survivors. There was the handful of Centauri riflemen, most of them bandaged and on painkillers, and Melissa, who was having a significant emotional moment as she watched the human race tear itself asunder before her very eyes.

“Listen everyone. In a minute the captain will call for the ship to be abandoned. We will land on Terra. We may be separated. If I don't get to meet any of you again, I want you to know, that it has been my god emperor damned privilege to serve with each one of you. No matter what happens.”

The survivors nodded. Sergeant York spoke up. “Served with you for about a year sir. No finer officer in the star rifles there was, before or since.”

Private Sam bit her lips. “Feth. It’s going down like this. A-alright sir. Thanks. You pulled me out of a burning wreck on Tarentum IX, i still got the scars. Lets pull the Imperium out of hell, yeah?”

Corporal Hayes grunted. “With respect? I always thought you were a son of a bitch that was trying to get us all killed with all the crazy shit we had to put up with. But some of us survived this long. Damned if that isn't providence. Hail the god emperor. May he welcome us all at his side as the heroes who died to save Him.” Hayes produced a small golden bauble, like Harlock’s, and Harlock fished his own out, nodding at the man.

Melissa, in catatonic shock, tore her eyes from a massive imperial superheavy carrier slowly shatter and die as her bow was lanced by a formation of traitor ships.

“There is no god in this universe. No benevolent ones. Not if THIS is what the innocent deserve!” she was shouting, and she wouldn't soon stop. Anyone could see that.

Harlock walked up, calm, and planted a kiss on her lips. “This will be the last time, Klicke. Who said anyone was innocent, here?” and then let her go.

[Musical cue: this track]

“Soldiers of the 2nd Centauri Star Rifles, this regiment has lived for-”

A massive explosion just rocked the ship. The shields were out. Klaxons blared.

“...has lived for over eight centuries. From its first founding, I have fought under its banner, bore witness to its great heights, during the Ullanor wars, on Feros, upon Hesperax, fighting under a dozen legions, regarded and recognized by primarchs and generals. Under this banner have a thousand villains and a million heroes served. It is with my deep resignation, I formally retire the 2nd Centauri Star Rifles. Soldiers of the emperor, present arms!”

The remnants of the regiment saluted and presented arms perfectly in the corridors of the Angelus.

“You are all for a final time DIS-MISSED. You are free citizens of the Imperium. Seek Army logisticians and financiers should you survive the coming trials for your mustering pay and backpay. You are hereby retired. God bless you all, and good luck.”

There was a moment to let that sink in, as the ship rocked and groaned and armsmen and crew dashed about the sad band of veterans.

“Get to the evacuation boats and drop pods men. You too, Adept. If we somehow survive this,the rally point is the Pistoliers Saloon in Port Vangelis, August 3rd, for war stories and drinking contests.”

With sad grins, and a hug or two, the soldiers split up. Some teamed up, hoping in numbers they would survive. Harlock looked at Klicke.

“The adepts have a good chance of having a superior escape route, and may be able to land you in safe imperial territory. Go to them. I’ll find my own way. I always do.” Harlock said, grimly. He was quite certain this was the day he would die.

Yet, he saw no reason to die aboard some random starship. He joined the throngs of soldiers who clamored for the drop pods, launching them immediately. Eventually, he came upon a man in a wide brimmed hat, a captain of armsmen, who commanded a group of terrifying youngsters guarding drop pods. “Officers and men of rank first! The rest of you degenerates second! Wait your turn and be processed, or I’ll process you!”

A man broke from the group and ran for an open pod door.

Zzot.

He lay motionless on the ground, his head smouldering.

“anyone else want to question ship policy?! You!” He pointed at Harlock.

“Thats an officers uniform alright. You’re in Pod 3C. Get moving, your going to be stuck with some commoners though. Can’t be helped.”

Harlock nodded, and walked on, getting in 3C and clicking himself in. He silently thanked that he hadnt ate anything that day; there would be no need to fear throwing up.

The soldiers in the pod were scared out of their minds. One young girl, an armsman, wept as silently as she could. Another, an army trooper, looked like he was going to bounce out of his seat. “Oh come on, let me get some! LET ME GET SOME! HORUS! COME ON!”

Others were in prayer. At least one was, somehow, impossibly, soundly asleep, his vest adorned with a half dozen melta charge cells and a meltagun secured at his side.

Harlock said nothing, and nothing was said to him. In a few moments after securing himself, the pod was launched, and Harlock got a look at just how bad the Angelus had taken it. In another minute or two, it would begin to snap and break apart; a sure sign of complete loss of all hands remaining. Harlock hoped his friends made it out.

Other pods were certainly not lucky. Chaos fighters shot them out of their descent with glee, while one actually impacted an unawareimperial thunderbolt, sending both tumbling on fire, badly smashed into pieces. Harlock’s own had a rocky ride, being struck by hundreds of chunks of space debris from the orbital battle as he approached the burning, glowing city-world of terra.

Harlock closed his eyes as he felt his pod become rocked by traitor flak guns which begged his pod come apart at the seams. It would be a bad landing. It wasnt the best possible transport for the job either. But it would happen all the same.

With a mighty thud. Harlock’s pod smashed into the smouldered, melted remains of a triad of hive spires, flattened and pancaked into a kind of artificial smolten plateau, along with hundreds of other such spires. The landscape was awash with agony, as the occasional skeleton fragment poked out of the ash of the spires occupants and the twisted corrugated metal of towers that once accurately illustrated mankinds unbound ambition, now collapsed to absolute ruin. In the distance, perhaps a few kilometers away, the Imperial palace stood, golden and beautiful, as dark forces and entire titan legions descended upon it. To recount what one could see, even this far away, is the recount the stories of literal angels and demons. Titans fought there, not mere men.

[Musical Cue: this track]

Harlock’s pod opened. The trooper who prayed was given what she had likely asked for, a swift death, as a support beam of the now badly mangled drop pod was planted into her skull, likely killing her mercifully quick. Another soldier was crying as he tried to extract his leg from depressed metal. Harlock knew in an instant his leg would not come without the pod being dismantled. He was as dead as the devotee, he merely did not know it yet.

The one next to him that had shouted lived, however, and had unbuckled himself, kicked the pod door open, grabbed his gear and began sprinting off like mad in the direction of the palace. The sleeper had awoken, presumably when the head restraint on his seat gave way and broke his neck from the whiplash of landing. Now he and his meltagun rested un-used. Harlock picked it up, remembering his dead friend, Tech Sergeant Dienes, and collected as much ammo as he could from the man, before stepping into the burning sunset of the fall of mankind. There were other imperials about too, either from pods, or who were here before, who knew. And the astartes were here. Not the friendly kind, of course. Never them.

Harlock watched an Iron Warriors terminator, strangely alone and separate from his kin (a failed teleportation, perhaps) fire his assault cannon across the plateau, killing at least five imperials that Harlock could see, and immediately dived for cover; a natural bend in the cooled melted slag of the spires. It would take quite a bit of fire from his meltagun to do it, but he was confident this terminator could be killed.

With the courage of a man who knew he was destined to die, the Major dashed forward, meltagun in hand, charges wrapped around his chest like a bandolier. Diving to the side while it strafed opposite Harlock, he fired his first shot in the terminator’s exposed leg joint, near the knee where the armor segmented the most. It was a cheap shot, as the terminator did not see Harlock approach, but effective. It was not clear if the terminator immediately lost use of his leg, or if he melted the servos, but the iron warrior was rooted in place, forced to drag the titanic dead weight of his leg as he turned, assault cannon spinning to attack his assailant. Harlock evaded a swing from his other hand- a powered fist capable of killing him in a single hit, and fired another charge of the meltagun at the terminator.

Another man, bulky, with no sleeves and a red bandana across his forehead, charged with a guttural scream, his flak jacket swinging with his dog tags in the wind, a meltabomb in hand, up to the terminator. Harlock and the terminator ceased their duel, and the major immediately dashed back, diving behind some slag. He heard the assault cannon spit out hot lead, a groan, and a click.

Immense heat washed over Harlock’s body, making him groan. He ached. His soul was broken into pieces. He now simply did as he was meant to. Kill. For the emperor.

With a grunt, Harlock pushed himself up again, supporting himself on the rubble to see what had happened. The terminator was a mess of steamy red ooze and gore as his armor had exploded into pieces. Harlock couldn't find the imperial who did it, until he noticed a lone leg, its owner long gone, hanging off a piece of rockrete.

In the distance, a chainblade whirred, and a warrior of the World Eaters legion stepped forth.

“I know you. You were on Ferros. Come, duel with me, without that weapon. You who would dare kill a brother of mine in close combat.”

Harlock remained silent, and knelt, shielding his body from the marine. After a moment, it charged, firing its bolt-pistol towards Harlock as he whirred up the meltagun. The marine dashed overhead. Harlock pointed the weapon up, and fired... hitting nothing. The world eater had dodged it, and now smacked the weapon out of Harlock’s hands with his boltpistol.

“Khorne will be pleased this day, one way or the other.” the marine growled, assaulting with the fury that would be expected of a berserker warrior.

Harlock dodged and parried, his blade intercepting assault after assault, being forced to dodge point blank hits from a bolt pistol. The marine laughed, seeing Harlock so desperate.

And then in a flash it was decided. A carefully considered shot at the marines melee hand from his plasma pistol sidearm, a parry of the bolt pistol, and a final shot to the head.

Harlock took a side step as the smouldering, twitching body of the world eater died before him, and with a limp from a minor sprain in his legs from the dodging, he picked up his meltagun.

It had been weeks since his last juvenat injection. He had never felt so old and alone. With his melta, he leaned against some of the rubble-slag, and sighed in exhaustion. He had been tired of fighting for so many years. He didn't care anymore. There was nothing left to fight for.

He wandered his plateau, creeping from cover to cover as more marines, seemingly at random, arrived. He ambushed another iron warrior kill team, killing one marine with a good melta shot to the head, a sturdy krak grenade for the next, and a final duel resolved only by stabbing his knife, given to him by an old friend in the auxillia, through the reinforced body glove covering the marines neck.

For hours, he fought. Sometimes, he would find a random imperial army trooper, assist them for a time, until eventually they died. Harlock remained there, waging his own private war as if on a chessboard, ignorant of the greater struggle. Unaware that at that moment his god emperor was aboard horus’ flagship, or that there had been a godlike defense of the palace gate, or of the heroism of the imperial fists... none of it was clear to him, as he watched the wrecks of ships smash apart spires, as deathstrike missiles detonated atomics in the distance, as millions upon millions of warriors fought below and above, here, in this strategically insignificant spot harlock deemed his final stand, Harlock fought quietly. Desperately. Like the killing machine that 800 years only of war reduced him to. A broken spirit. A broken man.

Eventually, days and days later, Imperial recon teams sweeping areas of the planet for survivors and enemies, found Harlock sat upright, in the middle of the plateau, surrounded by the dead. The old, ancient haggard man appeared to be dead, surprising the team upon his eventual glance towards the Imperial Army troopers. Had it not been in the wake of the Horus Heresy, had it not been for the wounding of the emperor and the bloody aftermath of the traitors demise upon Terra, Harlock would have been given a medal for the things the imperials saw on that plateau of corrugated metal and ruin.

But alas, it is the fate of the infantryman to be unsung, and often unmourned.With the aid of anotherman, Harlock limped to a rhino, and spent the next three months in medical care, recovering in a mass hospital that had been converted out of a shopping district.

The Siege of Terra was over. The Horus Heresy, in its most dramatic act, was over. But the galaxy fought on in bloody wars anyway.

Colonel Harlock was given command of the 93rd Centauri Star Rifles eventually. He never knew what became of the original survivors. He never truly wanted to know. All that was certain was that on August 3rd, in Pistoliers Saloon in Port Vangelis, one of the few cities not to be completely obliterated by Imperial forces in the reconquest of Centauri Prime, Harlock sat alone, consumed by thought, and deep pain. He spoke to no one, and after the day concluded, threw on his colonel’s cloak, and prepared to depart for the planet Hesperax with his new regiment. There was a chaos insurrection to put down, and the 93rd would do it- or be put to death.

[Music Cue: this track]

///

Imperial Historical Footnote: Almost no record of the 2nd Centauri Star Rifles exists today in the modern Imperium at large. Its deeds, and sacrifices, are preserved only in a small monument erected on the world of Titan-Secundus, which reads as follows:

“The Soldiers of the 2nd Centauri Star Rifles fought and bled here. We shed our lives for the Imperium and her emperor, so all men may live free, and that precious few need to sacrifice as we have done in the future. Mourn not our fallen, Remember not our deeds. Know only this, reader: great men have gone before you to sacrifice for this, our Imperium. Do not let our sacrifices be in vain.”

The monument now rests in front of the Titan-Secundus Schola Progenium in its courtyard.

///

#post #this game me feels to write #I hope you like it #This is the second to last post #May the Emperor show you his divine love #And may our Imperium live forever

[lizzyfish225]

Transformers tickle fic.

This is the first tickle fic i have written in a long time, but this has been floating around in y head for a while and i had to wright it down. i know i have one friend who is on tumblr that i know. so if she sees this and puts two and two together that i like tickling. REALY like it. then so be it, i wouldnt need to tell you in person. if you read this, you know who you are, please dont spread this around. there iis a bit of a lead up until the actual tickiling part, so bear with me.

right into it.

Optimus Prime and Megatron had just gotten out of a hostage situation along with their higher ups (TFP season one team prime, soundwave, starscream, and knockout.) the two of them had been foeced to fight together to escape from their past as it was told to everyone bearing wittness. the rivals had been brothers since they were younglings, megatron being ten and optimus being nine. they grew up in orphanages on cybertron. it wasnt until they reached headmisstress Dockra`s home that they stopped moving around. this is the place they met. this woman would beat, rape, and scream at all of the younglings under her care. it wasnt until megatron was able to convince the athoraties of what happened when he turned 18 that they were freed and their headmisstress locked away. they had a big brother-little brother relationship from then on unti the war. and while in captivity, being forced to go through their past, they became brothers once again. they eventualy escaped with everyonr and the autobots were staying on the nemisi to recover. the humans had been informed. the war was still tecnicaly happening, but it was in a sort of dip. megatron as -however- heavily concidering ending it. he had only just gotten his little brother back, and he did not intend to loose him again. but should he realy END the war?

Megatron considered this as he uncontiously walked through the corridor where the autobots resided temporarily. there were ligts above each door to indicate if the lights were still on in each soundproofed room. the one above optimus` door was green. he was still awake. curious, megatron pressed the button for the intercom on the prime`s door.

`Optimus? are you still awake?` megatron asked curiously through theintercom.

`Yes. what do you need?` optimus replied through the com after a moment.

`Nothing, just checking. the light above your door was green. may i come in, Brother?` megatron asked, not catching himself useing the term they had accidentily readopted for eachother. the door slid open after a moment before optimus spoke

`Ofcorce, Brother.` he didnt catch it either. The prime stepped aside to alow the jus slightly taller mech to step inside before closing the door to the private quarters.

`Why are you still up?` megatron asked in his usesual tone. though it lacked the normal malace it useualy held.

`i could ask you the same thing, megatron.` optimus replied. he had avoided that one.

`it`s my ship. im simply out to think. but you never answered my question.` megatron smirked. he still knew all of his tricks from when optimus was orion.

`couldnt sleep. not sure why. no issue though. i was just about to do some reading before you stoped by.` optimus replied before he spun around to face the bookshelf filled withdatapads. egatron snorted.`oh please, you know exactlywhy you cant sleep. dont lie to me Pri-` megatron pushed, reaching to poke optimus in the sholder, only to hit the back of his side istead as he moved forward. megatron was cut off by a short and uncharictaristic squeak from the prime as he spun around holing his side. his optics were wide as he looked at megatron, but they fell to a look of confusion as he realized what he just did. he furrowed his eyebrows together and looked at his siide. juring this, megatron stared with a look of suprize and confusion. in his curiosity, megatron reached forward and poked the prime in the abdomen again, earning a similar noise as before, and the same instand reaction to pull away. it took a moment for it to click, but it did. the both of them assumed this s something that would have been lost when orion because optimus. they were wrong. megatron couldnt helpit and grinned teasingly at the prime for the first time since before the war.

`oh optimus~ dont tell me you never out grew little orion`s weakness...` megatron smirked. the look in his optics was predatory. but not as you would expect from the warlord. it was brotherly. optimus hadnt seen that look in milenia, so he assumed he imagined it and tried to cover up what they both knew.

`i-i have know idea what you mean...` optimus STUTTERED. that was quite amusing for megatron.

`mmhmm... so you dont know what THIS is?` megatron smirked, jabbing the prime in the side to tease him.

`hey!` optimus yelped, turning away to avoid the contact. megatron let out a short laugh and the reaction.`huh. i wonder what that could have been.` megatron gave a few more jabbs with similar reactions. `hold still, prime. i need to make sure you arent hurt or something!` megatron stated as though he was oblivious as to what he was doing. he didnt know why he was doing this, but he was enjoying teasing his long time enemy like his little brother again.

`Megatron! Stop! i am just fine!` the prime spoke quickly between two jabs.

`then why do you keep moving?` megatro teased, speeding up his one finger pokes. this got a couple unavoidable chuckles out of the prime.

`Enohough! Stop pokeing mehe!` the younger chuckled, trying to doge the others fingers and ended up gettng backed into a wall. welp. he was screwed.

`was that a laugh?` megatron smirked.

`noho!`

`oh isee~ i know whats happening. youre still ticklish, arent you prime?` megatron teased, enjoying how the prime`s face heated up.

`I am nohot!`

`nono. the laughing, the squirming, the twitching... defineately ticklish.` megatron stated matter fo factly as he continued poking the prime until he saw the prime flinch particularly hard as he poked one place in particular -right under where the prime`s ribs would be if he were human. megatron desided to linger there. sudden, qick pokes brought a yelp and a short barck of laughter from the prime before he was finaly able to grab megatron`s wrist and push his servo away to arms length with one hand. this would have ended right then had megatron not decided to throw all dignnity out the window and act like a sparkling one more time, diving for prime`s exposed ribs and attacking. tis caused the prime to dyep and shoot his arm down, releaseing megatron`s wrist and attempting to wswatt away the offending appendage. optimus mannaged to get past megatron, only to be pulled to the warmonger`s laughing chest and tickled on his sides with megatron wrapping his arms around the prime. optimus SQUEALED.

`NO! hey! what are you doiIIING! MEGATRON! NOHOHOHO! Stohohop thahahat!` optimus laughed as he gave in, no longer able to hold back his laughter as he tried to get away in his laughter weakened state.

`There we go! what did i tell you, prime? ticklish. now, what was it that always had you on the groud again?` megatron laughed. his smile was wide and genuine. though optimus was smiling wider.

`Megatrohohon! stohohohop! ihi am nohohot a younglihihing anymohohohohohore! gehehehehet ohohohoff!` optimus laughed, trying to swat and push away the elder`s hands.

`right. it was your hips!` megatron smirked egnoreigng the other`s words.

`wait no! megatron doNT! NO! GAHAHAHAHAHAHA! DAHAHAHANMIHIHIHIHIT! STOHOHOHOHOHOP!` Optmus cackled as megatron shifted and started squeazeing the prime`s hips quicky. the prime`s knees grew week and he started sinking down th the floor until he was leaning up againsed his brother`s chest nd trying to squirm away. megatron began to laugh along with optimus. he was so glad these rooms were sound proof.

optimus eventualy managed to roll away, only to get a few short breaths before megatron was leaning over him with his servoes under his arm joints. optimus` shriek was absolutely worth it.

`NO! GAHAHAHAHA! NOHOHOHOHOHOHO! MEGATROHOHON! GEHEHEHEHET OHOHOHOFF!! STAHAHAHAHAHAP!` optimus screached as he tried desperately to escape megatrons scrating andscribbleing fingers. he was layng on his back withhis legs kicking, his arms pined to his sides, and his head thrown back as he laughed and tried to squirm away from the hands that had started digging. the laughing and squirming earned him ashort escpe oonce again, rolling over and scrabbleing away, only to be dragged back and to have hands start scrableing allover his ribs, sides, and back from behind. this turned him into a squealing, shreaking and squirming mess on the floor of his temporary chambers abord the nemisis. megatron eventualy mannaged to pull a cackleingprime into his lap with his back to his chest, attacking his sides and abackwardsone wy evil hug to restrain him. once again laughing histaricaly, optimus fought the hands with all his shakeing hands could give. when he saw an opening, megatron went in for the kill. one hand digging in the pries underarm, and the other squeasing his hip, megatron made the prrime squeal, shriek, and squeak all at the same time. the prime was squirming and clawing away with increased vigor. when they were children, megatron would oftin do this to little orion, alway manageing to have him on the floor for the next half of an earth hour. this combination proved to be just as effective now, as optimus stoped paying much atttention to what he was saying. `MEGSY NOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO! COHOHOHOHOME OHOHOHON! CHEHEHEHEATEHEHEHER! STAHAHAHAHAHAP! PLEHEHEHEHEHEASE!` that made megatron pause. MEGSY?

`did... did you just...` megatron whispered. optimus was confused.

`w-what?` he panted.

`did you just call me `Megsy`?` megatron asked with a soft smile the prime couldnt see.

`i... uh... think i did... oops...` optimus admitted sheepishly. megatron froze still for a moment, deciding what to do. optimus hadnt called him that sincethey were children. and megatron had forbidden him from calling him that infront of anyone once he was a gladiator. the waronger couldnt help the soft smile that spread on his face. he realy did have his brother back.

`n-now now. dont be sheepish about it!` megatron teased, stuttering as he got over the shock.

`ahem. can get up now...` optimus asked, shifting uncomfortably. megatron smirked.

`not until you whipe that sheepish look off your fce andtell e why you couldnt sleep.` megatron chuckled, pokeing the prime in the sides a few more times. already sensitive from the privious time, otimus jumped and started emitting deep giggles instantly, squirming away as best he could while trapped in the older`s grasp.

`NO! megatron! come ohon! let gohoho!` optimus grinned. megatron smiled at that. he was in bg brother mode again after so llong. it felt good, and melted away some of that ice in his spark. megatron went at it again, bringing the prime totears with another laughing fit before releaseing him and alowing him to roll away and cover his abdomen. megatron shifter on the floor to lean againsed the wall as he atched the prime calm down.

`now, are you going to tell me why you couldnt sleepor m i going to have to keep going?` megatron asked with a kind smile. a smile that hadnt adorned his face since before the war. optimus gulped and shifted to sit on he oposite wall to megatron to face himwith tired eyes. optimus looked at megatron for a moment, taking in that brtherly smile before gathering his thoughts.

`i was onlythinking about how difficult it is going to be to go backto fighting again. esspetialy ater tonight... but that shouldnt matter much to you. i will take my autobots off the ship as soon as they are healed enough to recover back at base and -as humans say- get outof your hair.` optimus stated, looking down and speaking with his useua shieding and leadership tone adorning his face,as though what had just happened never occered. megatron stared at hi enemy. his... brother... for a few moments beforemaking his decision.

`Prime. i will not loose my little brother again.`

`what?`

`after so long of war, and seeing you without those guards. acting like yourself again... i lack the streangth to return to battle. againsed you at least.`

`are you saying what i think youre saying...?`

`lets end this, prime. what do you say, fix things and berothers again?` megatron gulped, standing and holding a hand out to hs little brother. prime looked at him, before his optics lit up. taking the hand with asmile, he allowedhimself to be liftedup to hs feet again.

`nagotiations start assoon as everyone is healed up, brother.` optimus smiled. they were both beaming as megatron left the room a fewmuinets later. they both called after eachother to rest least the other would either have revenge or add more to the tickley pile.

both brothers lept like sparkings that night with a sile on their face.

#tickle #tfp #optimus prime #megatron #brothers #peace

[shadedrose01]

Summer Night Bliss

Ship: Parkner (Harley Keener/Peter Parker)

Summary: Peter wonders if Harley likes him, then they go out for a drive

Tags: Febufluff, Day 18, Friday Night Ride, Date Night, Pre-Relationship, Getting Together, Mutual Pining, Driving around town in the summer with windows down, music on bust and screaming at the top of your lungs, Bisexual Peter Parker, Gay Harley Keener, Kissing, Sunsets, Love

Day 18 of Febufluff: "Friday Night Ride"!

--

Peter glances at himself in the mirror, picking at the sleeves of his red flannel and picking at his light wash jeans before running a hand through his hair, trying to make sure he looked perfect.

Peter checks his phone again, seeing no new notifications (again) before going back to picking at himself. In a new moments, Harley is going to be here to pick him up, and he wants to look his best, as good as he possibly can.

Harley and Peter's relationship (if he can even call it that) is still a pretty new thing, something that sparked at the beginning of the summer, when Mr. Stark introduced them to each other, and had fanned into a big roaring fire so quickly it left Peter's head spinning. They hadnt even kissed, or asked each other out or anything, hadn't confirmed what they are in any way, but everyone around the tower knew. Everybody knew that Peter Parker and Harley Keener were more than just friends, even if they hadnt admitted it to each other (and themselves) quite yet.

It wasn't like they were avoiding the pull under their skin. They cuddled each other all the time, held hands a bunch, and called each other sickly sweet pet names that had everyone around them gagging in mock disgust. They acted like a couple, they both knew there was something there, something more, they just... hadn't brought it up yet. They hadnt found the need to, just revelling in each others company, giving what they want to give and getting what they want to get in return, but with no expectations, no strings attached.

It was nice that way, no worries, no problems. At least, for a while. But then, Peter caught feelings, and when Peter falls, he falls hard. And now, because of this weird 'lovers but not really' thing they've got going on, Peter doesnt know what Harley truly wants. He can't tell if Harley really likes him that way, or if he just wants a really close friend, really close little-more-than-a-friend. A friends with benefits. Which is definitely not what Peter wants.

Which is something he is planning on clearing up tonight at some point. Which is why he's anxious as shit for this 'date'.

Peter phone buzzes in his hand, making him flinch out of his thoughts and look down at the screen.

'here, cant wait to see you, cutie ;)'

Peter puffs out a breath, feeling the heat rising to his cheeks and stupid butterflies forming in his stomach, before he squares his shoulders, takes a deep breath, and makes his way outside, grabbing his apartment key on the way out.

Though, he almost drops it as soon as he gets outside. Harley is packed on the side of the road (illegally, Peter thinks), leaning against his older truck with his arms crossed and a cheeky grin on his face like he know's exactly what hes doing to Peter. He probably does, because holy shit how can someone look this effortlessly beautiful (and hot, like shit) and not know it?

He's wearing a gray wife beater shirt with a logo on it that Peter cant read, cant bother to want to read over Harleys bulging biceps, a pair of loose shorts that have no reason for looking as good on him as they do, and a blue baseball cap on backwards, pushing the blond strands back except for one stray curl that is falling in front of his bright, ocean blue eyes. His grin pushes up his cheeks, accentuating his dimples and the scattered freckles all over his face, showing off his pearly white teeth and god, when did his throat get so dry?

Peter swallows, trying to calm down his racing heart and forcing himself to keep moving towards the car, towards the god of a man stood in front of him, trying to seem nowhere near as effected as he was. By the looks of Harleys twinkling eyes that run up and down his body quickly (which really, really doesnt help), Peter fails by a long shot.

"Hey Darlin'," Harley finally uncrosses his arms, opening then open for their usual hug that Peter quickly melts into. "You're looking gorgeous today, as usual." He murmurs as he kisses a light kiss to Peter's flushed cheek, pulling away with a smirk.

Peter just rolls his eyes at him, even as his heart starts to hammer in his chest, even as a deep pang a longing and a thought of 'god I hope he means it' flows through his mind. "Yeah, yeah, whatever." He goes to walk to the door before pausing, glancing away from Harley. "...you look good today too."

"I sure hope so. I had someone to impress." Harley winks at him, but before Peter can think too much about that one, he reaches forward and holds the door open for Peter, his gaze softening slightly as Peter steps in with a bashful smile and a quiet "thank you."

Harley gets in the other side and turns the truck back on, the machine coming to life with a loud roar, a gentle hum replacing it soon after. "Soo, where are we going?" Peter asks, shifting to look over at Harley who is looking over his shoulder, pulling off the side of the road with a smooth turn on the wheel and pressure on the gas.

He only glances over to Peter for a second, his baby blues soft and warm. "I figured we could just go for a drive around town, listen to some music, put down the windows, you know, the whole works. Sound okay with you?"

He glances over again, and Peter makes sure to give him a big smile, relaxing back into the leather passenger seat before staring out of the window and watching the buildings go by. "Yeah, that sounds perfect."

Peter sees Harley fumble with the radio in his peripheral vision, before the heavy drums of rock start to play, blaring out of the speaker. The older boy starts to tap the rhythm on the steering wheel, just as Peter starts to tap along with his foot, noting that it's an ACDC song he's heard play in the lab quite a few times, and when the lead singer starts, Harley sings along, voice starting low and quiet but growing louder, more confident. Peter joins in at the chorus, the only part of the song he truly knows, and by the end of it, the two boys are shouting at the top of their lungs, windows open and heads banging, laughter in their tones.

And the rest of the afternoon is spent this way, blaring different songs and singing aloud to each other (and themselves), only stopping once to get food at McDonalds before going on their way again, shouting lyrics to the rooftops until the sun starts to set, the ball of fire setting the sky ablaze, yellows and oranges, blues and purples streaking across the sky.

Harley drives for a little while longer, before pulling into a less populated area with a perfect view of the sky, keeping the car on but lowering the volume down almost all the way, the quiet notes a stark contrast to the pulsating beats from earlier. Harley doesnt say anything, just sinking back into his seat, seeming happy enough to just sit here, by Peter's side, and watch the sun slowly fall victim to the darkness of the horizon. And Peter would be, too, if he didnt have another, much more beautiful sight capturing all of his attention.

The sun's dying rays give off a yellow hue, that makes Harley's eyes gleam, practically glowing, and accentuating all of his best features while softening the rest. He has a gentle, tired but carefree smile on his face, looking younger, more youthful than Peter's ever seen, looking ethereal, angelic, so unbelievably perfect and beautiful in every way that Perer cant even blame himself when he blurts out, soft and full of a caring that cant be mistaken for anything other than love, "I really like you."

Harley turns his head, features scrunching up in confusion, and a shot of panic shoots through Peter, but he pushes through it, knowing he has to say this. He has to. "I-I have for a while now. And," Peter looks away, then, the intensity in Harleys eyes becoming too much for him, "I mean that in a more-than-friends kind of way. I- I get if you dont like me the same way, and just want to stay friends, close friends, I get it, but I just had to let you know, and-"

A faint chuckle interrupts Peter's beginning of a ramble, before soft lips are pressing against his. He freezes, but soon melts into it, eyes closing automatically as a hand lightly cradles his cheek, their lips moving together once, twice, three times in a gentle motion before Harley pulls away again. He leans back just enough to breath, rubbing his nose against Peter's, his expression full of adoration. "I like you too." He whispers simply, quietly, not willing to break the fragile moment they've found themselves in, foreheads pressed together, eyes closed, until Harley slowly pulls away, leaning back into his seat.

They dont say anything else, but they dont have to, Harley's hand finding Peter's and intertwining their fingers, giving one last soft squeeze as they both stare off into the sunset, content, heart's full of love.

#febufluff #Febufluff #day 18 #friday night ride #parkner #parley #spiderlad #whatever ship name ya wanna use #harley keener/peter parker #harley keener #peter parker #marvel #marvel fanfiction #fanfiction #mcu #marvel mcu

[just-another-thursday]

Of whales and waves: An introduction to my dreams and other-worlds.

Almost all of my earliest dreams had to do with whales or water. Waves especially.

Most common was sunset. Little me standing on the side of a body of water, usually my favorite lake from childhood, and watching Orcas, killer whales, swim. Then I was in the water with them. Riding on their back. Petting their faces. Sometimes I would fall off the whales or fall into the water. For a moment I was afraid. But they gently nudged me with their noses helping my to shore or shoving me toward another pod members back so I could climb on. Holding my breath was easy. The water was sometimes bitingly cold, other times, lukewarm. I would pet them, commune with them. They were my family. My friends. They comforted and played with me. Sometimes the dreams were scary. But the Orca pod was there to cling to.

This makes sense now, as at the time I was being traumatized. It makes sense my mind would create a safety net and safe spot for me. But… It only got stranger.

As I grew my dreams became more vivid. Sometimes I knew I was dreaming and could control my world. Other times I was convinced the places were real. So convinced I would look up city names, landmarks, peoples name, I once even wrote down a name and scoured cemeteries in the town I believed the person had lived in.

In my dreams, I could read. I could taste, touch, see full spectrum colors, smell, and hear. I was always told it is impossible to read in dreams… But I could read postcards, street signs, and letters. I could taste everything to the point I would wake up still tasting it. Smell things so strongly. And the best and scariest…. I could feel. I could feel claws ripping me apart. The softness of a kitten. Grave dirt cold and damp under my bare feet. A sweaty hand gripped tight to mine. Cold water. Hot tea. Sharp needles. Soft animal pelts. I could feel my heart beating hard in excitement or fear. I could feel myself gasping for breath.

I shouldn't say could…. I should say, CAN. I can feel these things. And more. There are places that I can revisit, that I can find my way back to following memories and street signs and landmarks. People I visit who remember me and whom I remember. Friends I have made. Lovers I have lost. These people not existing in my waking world. Only in my sleep.

As I grew these worlds grew, the maps grew, the people grew in numbers, the complexity grew.

I was joined now with premonitions and signals.

Some dreams existed only to serve as signals, like a traffic light. For instance, the waves.

The waves mean change. Great and turbulent change in the waking world. And how I handle the waves, is how I will handle the change.

Example; I had just left a sinking ship and was climbing the side of a sea wall to reach safe ground, all while holding hands with and keeping safe a small girl. The waves would rise up above our heads and engulf us. We would cling to the rocks and hold our breath. Struggling. But I powered through and pinned the girl to the rocks as well, keeping my promise to get her to safety. The waves would come over and over until the dream ended or I reached safety. In this dream I reached the top of the wall, which led to a beach… Strange but true, The waves on the beach were soft and gentle, no longer over taking us. We had survived the tide.

The first time the waves happened I was afraid. I didn't know what it meant. Two weeks later, a miracle. My mother found out she was pregnant. She had been trying for 5 years and had given up over a month ago, accepting she wouldn't have anymore children. My baby brother was born later, premature, he was in the NICE for a long time, but he came home and a lot of change came with him.

I began to notice a pattern later that the waves meant change. And if I fought the waves, they would fight back, if I let them happen… it wouldn't be as bad. Basic psychology says, “Of course your brain would play this out.”

Problem is…. I wouldn't know about the changes before hand. No warning signs. No shifts. Nothing. My only clue being the waves. And as a natural skeptic, most of the time I would ignore the wave “premonition” and live life normal. But the waves kept coming before the change and after awhile I had to start wondering….

Others include graveyards. Even if I feel nothing is wrong, my dreams will say otherwise. Something is about to go wrong…. Because graveyards will appear in my dreams. Again, symbolism and psychology…. Oh, not so fast. The graveyards were a safe place. Something weird or upsetting or even scary in the dream, run for whatever graveyard appeared, if it did appear, because like in a game of tag, the graveyards are safety. Nothing bad can touch me there. In fact in the grave yard I usually found hiding places, allies, and weapons. The bad things could not enter them. I was safe among the dead.

And, as with the waves, the graveyards came long before any sign of badness or chaos. They were a calling card.

Other premonitions would be dreaming of a place or a building... and 5-10 years later seeing it being built or just finished building. Or people I hadnt met yet and end up meeting later on in life. Creeps them out to have me say, “I had a dream about you when I was 9.”

Then post-cognitive dreams. Once i described a road tripto my mother. A car, a forest, a road, a house, and a relative. I told her the feelings i felt and who i was with. She started crying and looks horrified.... She told me that I had told her one of HER memories. It was visiting her dying uncle. Her favorite uncle, when she was young. She had never told me that memory. And there were detials i relaid that were so visceral is scared her... the smells and textures.

Anyway, my dreams can sometimes be what most dreams are for most people… randomness or a way to project stress and problem solving. They can be euphemisms for issues in the waking world.

But most of the time, they have NOTHING to do with waking life. They are their own stories, people, places, and experiences. They are towns, jobs, homes, and friends. I have another life there…. Also strange, like the watched pot that never boils, when therapists ask about my dreams or encourage me to write them nightly or dissect them… The dreams run. They hide. I don't dream. They don't want to be seen. They don't want to be spoken of. They don't want to be found…. At least, not clinically. They squirm like intestines outside their cavity. They don't want to be prodded or examined or studied. They want to nestle back into their cavity safely, and they want my to join them. All others, keep out.

So, while I can post my past dreams, premonitions and other worlds…. As they are vivid and bright in my thoughts… I can’t promise to keep you up to date with the newest ones… Not right away at least, they need to feel like I'm not watching them. They don't want to be monitored. They want to be experienced.

So, if you like, I will share my worlds and you can decide what they mean… quietly, to yourself. They and I don't want to know. We are happy.

I am happy. Happy to keep feeling tree bark under my fingers and the smell of earth in my nose as I race around a familiar city. Adventuring with friends only I can see…. Only when I sleep

#alternate universe #alternate dimension #alternate reality #precognitive #postcognitive #dreams #dream #dreaming #lucid dreams #vivid dreams #signs #sleep #sleeping #weird #strange #graphic