#i love u so much Viking stuff is mY SHIT

[procrastinatingsoicanreadfanfics]

Vikings + modern food

A/N: first of all, I am SO honored to be ur first choice for your first request.

Second of all, disclaimer, I do not hate ppl with lactose intolerance, it’s just very funny to me when my brother knowingly consumes sth with excessive amounts of milk and then sprints to the toilet five minutes after finishing his food

Third of all, this was so fun to write and also i've been hoarding this imagine like some goblin creature bc i was so excited to post it. had to do it early after reading heart of winter (we need more bragi)

Tagged: @alicedopey, @bragisrunes (message/comment if you want to be added to any taglist)

Masterlist | based on this request | requests are OPEN!

Here are some foods I think you could achieve in 800 AD in Kattegat:

Pizza, if there are tomatoes from the Mediterranean

Italian noodles (I think you could defo manage Alfredo sauce and chicken, and noodles are just flour + water + egg maybe)

Some steak with sauteed onions and all that other good shii

Maybe, possibly, if the trade gods are feeling generous, soup dumplings and other Chinese foods (the biggest problem here would be the spices and the rice, since a lot of Chinese food has pretty simple ingredients)

Sashimi

Tuscan salmon (again the Mediterranean ppl have to pull up with them tomatoes)

Ice cream if it’s snowing for long enough and you have Tupperware to bury your fruits with you

Hummus if the middle eastern ppl pull up to Kattegat with Tahini and chickpeas

Things you could definitely not achieve (I am saying this having done 0 research):

Smoothies (blender)

Choco/vanilla ice cream

Anything vanilla/chocolate flavored

Sushi (nori + rice)

Several tier cakes

Anything involving huge (or any) amounts of refined sugar, food coloring or artificial flavours

Anything that has to be tempered or cooled down at an exact temperature

Anything that requires an airfryer, thermomix or other fancy cooking utensils I can’t afford  (rn)

Anything fried (how temperature? How so much oil? Maybe if u go to the blacksmith ig)

Mexican food (cries in guacamole and fajitas)

Ragnar

Very suspicious but tries it

You made Linguine Alfredo for the whole fam (Ragnar+Lagertha+Bjorn+Gyda+Athelstan)

Is lactose intolerant

Major L lol

Bjorn laughs when he comes back after one hour of shitting

Lagertha

Appreciates the Alfredo

Does not appreciate shitting husband

When Ragnar declares that it’s worth the risk

She declares the toilet (i think? maybe a hole in the ground?) is worth cleaning

Regardless, she asks you to teach her how to make pasta

Makes very good viking pasta afterwards

Bjorn (as a child bc I stanned him back then :’) )

Stans you for making his dad violently shit

Also stans pasta alfredo

Asks you to cook more, and promises to set the table for you

When your making spaghetti Bolognese, he hands you cream and asks you to sneak it in

You almost do

Gyda

She’s shyer about talking to you, but asks you to make more modern foods

Will help you get the ingredients and cook

If you use a fish she caught for cooking, she’ll cry with happiness

Is the most capable in making modern foods

Fascinated by ice cream

Makes Bjorn taste test everything she cooks before serving

He does it under one condition: trigger Ragnar’s lactose intolerance

Athelstan

Also very skeptical

Loves stuff that’s a fusion between modern and old

Suspicious of your cooking after the Alfredo-incident

He would love Tuscan salmon though

And soup dumplings

Why? It’s a form of bread + soup + warm. That’s why.

tagging @demon-of-the-ancient-world here for obvious reasons

Aslaug

Big fan of Chinese food

She tried modern food to prove to Ragnar that she would not loose control over her bowels bc of a large amount of cream

When she finds out about chopsticks it’s over for you

She eats everything with chopsticks

Thinks it’s more elegant than anything else

Defo a utensils gal

Ubbe

Grew up with the infamous story of the Alfredo incident (we’re going with that timeline in his case too, but not for the other characters)

Regardless, he’s ready to sacrifice his dignity to try something new

Very not lactose intolerant, and rubs it in Ragnar’s face

Loves a medium raw steak

Asks you to cook for him, but you’ll be able to teach him instead

Hvitserk

You give him pizza as a surprise

Looses his shit (not like Ragnar, in a more metaphorical sense here)

Making bread with toppings and baking it and eating it warm? Genius, why didn’t he think of that.

I just know he would gobble up that spicy salami pizza

Is okay with simpler toppings too

Loves everything you make for him, creates scary fusions

Sigurd

Skeptical. Extremely

He likes bean stew and boiled chicken

But not for long

Sucker for spicy foods

Also likes dumplings a lot

Will take them with him in the steamer for a picknick date

Ivar

Can absolutely NOT eat spicy food

Which Sigurd so laughs about

Eats slightly seasoned curry while tears are streaming down his face (manly tears)

Does not take milk to numb it down

You know those wontons with the spicy sauce that are hella good?

Yeah, he loves them without the sauce.

Clocks Sigurd in the jaw when he pours the sauce over Ivar’s not spicy ones

Heahmund

Idk if this is my hc or just personal distaste for this man and his weird ass voice showing through

Cannot handle spicy food (more homoerotic bonding ground for him and ivar yay!)

Does not like modern food (loser)

Secretly is lactose intolerant

Would probably die from a whiff of peanuts

Sticks to boiled chicken and beans (no salt!!!)

Alfred

Didn’t he go to the Vatican or something?

Got a taste for them Italian dishes

Idk if they already had pasta but that’s not the point

Alfred is a man of the world (at least at the dinner table)

Eats everything and anything you make

Yes, he sends hvitserk on a diplomatic mission to find new food

But only bc hvitserk begged him

Would shake his ass in front of his entire court for the mysterious loaded nachos you’ve described to him

Judith

Supports everything Alfred does

Tries his food with him

Oh man, if Sigurd and Judith ever met, they would have a spice eating contest

It delights her to mix two seeds of pepper into the food and watch some lord have a nervous breakdown

Could eat ghost pepper raw

As long as it burns her mouth, it’s good

Knows about the Alfredo incident in said timeline and uses it as a political weapon against the Vikings

#ragnar #lagertha #bjorn #gyda #athelstan #aslaug #ubbe #hvitserk #sigurd #ivar #judith #alfred #heahmund #vikings #ivar the boneless #ivar x reader #history vikings #ivar lothbrok #vikings imagine #ubbe x reader #hvitserk x reader

[queenofgraveyards]

Okay.. we need to talk more about this boss crush. How old is he, why do we like him, what’s the good the bad and the ugly?

Also side note.. is your sister semi-portrayed in Bambi?🤔 because if so.. I’m your new sister. I’ll do good by you queen

loooool the way i momentarily forgot that this was the internet and almost just screenshotted his fb profile to show u what he looks like YIKES anywayyyy im not sure it’s a real crush or if it’s just u know a work crush haha but he’s 28 i think or 29 i can’t remember, he’s like 6’4 not sure of the exact measurement but AT LEAST 6’4 he’s Māori and he has dreads like fuckin uhtred the Viking which I won’t lie is hot he’s a biiiiiig guy like tall and solid but I think he’s cute lol he’s kind of dorky like he loooooves dnd which 🤢 but he’s very musically talented n can sing and play the guitar and piano and probs more he used to live in Australia and he used to be a chef now he’s the probation lead for a project at work so he’s on a secondment and on $$$ ummmm that’s kind of it? idk it’s awks cause we’re not really allowed to date co workers or managers lmao and if we did id have to be moved offices which I don’t want to do so rip also my default setting is no one likes me so im just wallowing in my feels and yes lmao all the family characters for my girlies have traits / behaviours of my family members and p much everything that’s been said by any of the girls families especially the real harsh shit is stuff that has been with said to me or about me by my own family members! loving life 🤪

#answered #anonymous

[honeymaki]

viking izu 🥺

Warnings: fem reader, fem pronouns (wife, queen), slight body description (fat thighs/pussy) fingering, mentions of public sex, size kink, exhibitionism, vouyerism, breeding mention(s), alcohol mention. Unedited.

You are in luck cause I was rereading my Viking!Ushijima and Viking!Izu would be so similar, so hard and battle worn and scarred and heavy, but he’s victorious and a legend, like Odin himself, maybe even a son of Odin, a son of god with the way he swings his axe and sits on his throne made of iron, wood and bronze. He wears furs in the winter, a great cape made of bear pelt and wolf hide, secured with a huge torc that always leaves an imprint on your cheek when he holds you close, encases you in fur and skin and warmth when the wind whistles through the great hall on nights when Jack Frost is angry.

King Izu is huge, rough and hardy and he licks at the mead dripping from your lips, two thick fingers squeezing your cheeks and grinning when you heat and simper and whimper beneath his strength. Hushes you in a deep rumble, kisses the skin beneath your eye and promises you his bed after the feast,

“Be good and entertain for a while, then you can have my seed,”

And the promise has you up and refreshing horns, pouring ale and mead and sitting on your husband’s lap to feed him pork dripping with honey and fat, small hand clutching his neck to tip his head back far enough for his throat to strain. Music plays, men shout and tussle, women chatter and steal away into the shadows, warriors sharpen their blades and growl at the children who scramble between the legs of the long table. None of them notice the giant hand slipping beneath your kirtle, none of them hear your whimpers and begs because Izu looks so wanton and tempting in his furs and breeches, chest wide and broad, stone and iron hard, panting with the syrup he finds waiting for him at the crux of your thighs. Plush fat gives way for his touches, eyes dark and staring at the heave of your chest in the firelight, listening to the whines and gasps falling shamelessly from your mouth. His thumb, baring a ring and the width of something too big to call human, pressed against your cunt, wool suddenly too hot and too tight, hall suddenly too loud and too open with the way King Izu grips and pulls at you,

“It’s been two years since we wed,” he whispers in your ear, “And we’ve yet to bless the throne,” dark honey spreads down your back and you cast your eyes over to the empty chair, huge and sharp and unyielding, like the fingers bullying between your legs, “Maybe your insistence is enough to break me this one time, your neediness is maybe something I’ll take advantage of,”

“‘Zuku…,” you’re whining and squirming and suddenly his warriors are looking at you upon their King’s lap, legs wide and baring you to all.

“The gods look down upon us, Odin gave us his blessing wife, we should honour that,” Izu licks a stripe up your neck, wet and hot, puffing against your skin.

“I just want you,” his hard lust simmers into something softer for a moment, upon hearing your words and Izu’s lashes flutter at the scent of you, lifting through the sweat, through the food and the wool and fur and leather and wood. The hall of his forefathers might be packed to the brim, as it always should be, but right now? All he sees is you upon his knee and the way you look up at him with all the love in the world. His hand grows more bold, more insistent, palm kneading the throbbing ache of your cunt and there’s no quelling the mewls of agreement spilling from your tempting lips.

“I would take you in front of them all, show them how a King, a god, treats his queen-, Izu’s lips are rough and hot against your ear, breath catching on the delicate skin of your neck and you shiver, curling into his chest and gripping the sides of his cloak, hands so small and fragile against his mass and wrath. He takes a moment to kiss your temple, mouth resting sweet against your skin, eyes dark and casting shadows upon any who dared look at the way you squirm and writhe for him, and the fingers bullying between your thighs,

“But alas my queen, as much as I value and love my kin - no one but me sees you bared and fucked but me. So stop trying to make me bend you over the table and breed you in front of them all, are we clear? Because your cunt full of my seed is only a sight only I am privileged to witness, I promised you my cock after the feast and my cock you shall get, but only if you’re patient,”

A whimper escapes your lips when rough fingers slide between your folds, fat and dripping with need, spreading for him with an almost audible slchk that has Izu imagining such awful, filthy scenes. Even if he put you in your place, told you to wait, told you to be patient, told you that only he is allowed to see you stuffed and fucked - there’s a strange revelry in folding your into the blessed table with his cock battering your insides, in front of all his kin, his warriors, your friends. A king is nothing without his queen, and what better way to show that then fucking his queen full and making sure she’s dripping and swollen with his cum?

The thought makes Izu a tad bolder, despite his warnings to you, a strong finger parting your cunt and crooking deep and hard, causing you to arch and barely hold back a howl, the resounding squeak alerting red eyes to the musing of his king and queen. You should be plenty satisfied with this, a finger, maybe two, pacifying your need to be filled with something thicker, stronger, just until the last men fall drunk to the floor. And - in a way, you are. He’s holding you tight, close to his chest, one hand on your waist with his mouth pressed parted to your hairline, swallowing with every clench of your cunt around his fingers, imagining it’s his cock, imagining the feel of your velvety walls on his tongue, counting down the moments until he’s able to carry you to your bed, his bed. Tongue tasting the sweat of your temple, Izu encourages your writhing and contorting, the hall a little quieter and a little calmer, enough for you to lift your thigh and allow your king easy access to press his fingers harder, deeper, faster,

“Izu, mmmh - please, Izu,” you’re licking your lips, arm wound round his neck and Gods; you can feel yourself dripping down his wrist. It’s something, something akin to what your king is thinking, having his thick, rough fingers between your thighs when you know others can see, can muse, can hear what he’s doing. The thought has you collapsing against him, pitching with a whine and a quivering belly, thighs closing around his arm and trapping him, cunt flooding his hand and wrist.

“Good girl, that’s my good girl hm?” Izu kisses your cheek, then your jaw, the spot behind your ear that has you shivering,

“Do you think they will notice if we sneak away now? Please, I can’t take it anymore,” Your voice is shaky but the need still bubbles in your belly, and Izu huffs,

“Already? I’m still inside you,” he grumbles, “Most of the warriors noticed long before my fingers were in your cunt, my queen, you are insufferable,”

But…he still stands, clapping his chiefs and warriors on the shoulders with a slippery hand plastered to your back. He still bids farewells to those he fought for and with, despite his gruffing and grunting, despite complaining to Bakugo about ‘the duties of a with a hungry wife’; Izu is hard enough to leak over your stomach when he gets you bared beneath him, and is desperate enough to fuck you too many times to count into the mattress and furs and pillows.

#🧋.answers #🍓.kitty’s friends #ur so naughty for this sem #i love u so much Viking stuff is mY SHIT #🍡.het #🍡.nsfw #cw.exhibitionism #cw.breeding kink #cw.size kink #cw.fem reader #cw.vouyerism #cw.body description #cw.fingering #cw.public sex #izuku x reader #izuku smut #bnha smut #mha smut #deku x reader #Deku smut

[soupbabe]

OYOYOY ok so i like to collect blades and weapons, like swords and battle axes and shields, right? how would duwang gang react to a reader who collects blades, and like their house has axes and spears and stuff mounted on the wall, and they like to (carefully!) demonstrate with them and show them off when visitors come over. how would duwang gang feel knowing their friend is like a Viking lol

Duwang Gang Reacting to Reader's Weapon Collection!

Anon u are so cool ily

Josuke Higashikata

- He first found out about your collection when you called him up, asking if he could use Crazy Diamond

- In all honesty he panicked and thought he you got hurt, you were crying after all

- Turns out mid-cleaning your favorite axe broke and needed it to be fixed

- He was so taken aback at your display,,like he thought this was some horror movie level shit

- But ngl it was sort of cool, he was happy to see you show off your skills after Josuke fixed your axe

Okuyasu Nijimura

- Oh my god he loves it

- Please let his dreams come true and let him have a sword fight with you

- If you say no I'd imagine him trying to sneakily take a sword just to see how it feels

- But if you do- both of you will be wearing so much protection and have Josuke on deck for any accidents

- Okuyasu is just a very reckless and emotionally driven fighter, it's just a necessary precaution

Koichi Hirose

- I'm gonna be honest- your collection set off his fight or flight response

- Thought he was in another Yukako situation tbh

- Your collection is neat, but it's a bit overwhelming for a scaredy cat like Koichi

- Fair to say to not show them off to him, but he'd gladly listen to you go on about them!!

- How you got it, their history, etc, Koichi is all for it!

Rohan Kishibe

- Congratulations! You've become the new Koichi!

- He's never expected a collection as grand as this out of you, so bet your ass he'll be studying you for his manga

- It's common for him to grab at any weapons you have, saying he needs them for references

- He even asks you to show him your demonstrations, all in the name of artistic reference

- Totally not because he just likes how badass you look

#jjba #jojo's bizarre adventure #jjba x reader #diamond is unbreakable #jojo's bizzare adventure diamond is unbreakable #diamond is unbreakable x reader #josuke higashikata x reader #josuke higashikata #okuyasu nijimura #okuyasu nijimura x reader #koichi hirose x reader #koichi hirose #rohan kishibe x reader #rohan kishibe

[zozophoenixxx]

OK I'M REWATCHING HTTYD BC I NEED SEROTONIN SO YE

Here are some Things I had forgotten or little details I just noticed on my rewatch, maybe even Unpopular Opinions 🤭👀

✨httyd 1✨

The reason to their ugly ass names is because "parents believe a hideous name will frighten off gnomes and trolls"

One of the reasons to Hiccup's skills and abilities with building stuff is because he was Gobber's apprentice since he was little

- HOW COME I COMPLETELY FORGOT THIS?!😳

I feel like Stoick's the only person that would get into a fist fight with a dragon 😂

"We're Vikings. It's an occupational hazard" I missed this 🥺

I love how Stoick's just so passionate about being a Viking

"It's only fun if you get a scar out of it"

OMG I JUST REALIZED THAT WHEN HICCUP SAYS "it looks like it's just you and me huh?" In RTTE he was referring back to this one scene in the first movie where he says the same thing to Astrid when they're training against the Gronckle

"The unholy offspring of lightining and death itself" BADASS✋🏼😩

Guys... Hiccup looks weird with 2 legs...

Ok but whenever they're fighting the Nadder and Astrid lectures Hiccup about taking things seriously and choosing sides... I feel like she's also trying to convince herself to take it seriously because after hitting the Nadder she kinda looked... Like she regretted it..

The way toothless shares his fish with Hiccup🥺 his facial expressions and how he's literally expecting hiccup to eat and SWALLOW it AND THE WAY HE ALSO COPIES HIS SMILE🥺🥺🥺🥺

DRAWINGS ‼️‼️‼️‼️

There's no way toothless didn't notice when Hiccup was putting the new tail in for the first time... I think at that point he already trusted him enough to do that...

I love how Astrid won't take shit from the boys

"Oh, I'm hurt! I am very much hurt!" JABDHSHA

Astrid looked so gorgeous in min 39:04 🤩

The part where they're all just shocked that Hiccup managed to convince the zippleback to go into its cage

TEST DRIVE 🥺🤩😁

The way the scene becomes way more badass right after hiccup throws away the cheat sheet and just acts on impulse 🤩

"Everything we know about you guys is wrong"

"Ow why would you do that?!" "That's for the lies. And that's for everything else" YOUNG HICCSTRID 🥺🥺

"Thank you for nothing you useless reptile" JAHDHAHSHA I LOVE THIS SCENE

ROMANTIC FLIGHT 💓😚❤️😍🧡💞✨💓💕💫I don't think I've ever been happier

"that's for kidnapping me... *kiss* And that's for everything else"

"What are you gonna do about it?" "Probably something stupid"

I swear the amount of amazing lines this movie has 🤩✋🏼

Why had I completely forgotten about the red death?

No because the way they literally made it implode

And the way toothless saved hiccup and had him completely wrapped with his wings and legs 🥺

KISSY KISSY KISSY KISS KISSSSSSS✋🏼😩😁🥰💝😍💞💖😚😌

I finished it and now I'm sad :(

Alsoooo read the tags and help me cause I'm not sure and I don't remember and also let me know what u think

#my serotonin levels 📈📈📈 #how to train your dragon #hiccup #hiccup haddock #astrid #astrid hofferson #snotlout #ruffnut #ruf and tuf #fishlegs #toothless #stoick the vast #I swear I'm so happy #literally wtf #wait what's the show that comes after httyd 1 cause Ik it's httyd1 #then 2 shows #but idk which one #then RTTE #then #httyd 2 #and #httyd 3 #and lastly #homecoming #but I don't remember #the name of those 2 shows where they're still kids #I think I'm also gonna turn this #into a friendly reminder series #what do y'all think?

[infinitegalahad]

RAY IN THE BATHROOM

Summary: Ray is hiding in a bathroom and has a panic attack over the fact that his only real friend and the love of his life has (supposedly) left him for Brad.

Word-Count: 2.1k

Warnings: References of suicidal thoughts, ptsd, and severe anxiety. Brad is a semi-asshole. Hop on the angst train (with fluff at the end!)

A/N: I was listening to Be More Chill because let's just say that I can heavily relate to Micheal In The Bathroom due to recent events in my life. So then again, what better way to cope then using my biggest kin, Ray Person, in a totally not self indulgent fic?? Also as for the prompt requests-i'm working on them! Sorry, school has been bad. I'm keeping a promise to myself to release at least once a a week and I'm on a gen kill rampage. Idk what else to add so enjoy!

Taglist: @theboardwalkbody

Masterlist | Send In A Prompt!

Ray doesn’t expect himself to be hanging in the bathroom at their first year reunion. But instead of “hanging”, he’s hiding. Those emotions that never come out are now coming back to haunt him. Ray knows he can't hide behind a shit eating grin and sunglasses. He leaned up against the tub inside of the cramped room, his sunglasses tucked into the neck of his polo as tears sting his eyes.

Ray’s legs felt numb and he knows if he looks into the mirror and sees his flushed face and eyes, he won’t be able to conceal his crying. He’s not able to go back outside and would prefer to fake pee or just check his phone in the bathroom.

“C’mon brah!” Q-tip whined like a child, crossing his legs. “This hurts like a butt cheek on a stick”

“You can’t come in!” Ray yelled as he held back a sob, “The little man is going. Suck it up, buttercup.”

Q-tip had been knocking on the door for over ten minutes before giving up and choosing to pee outside. Ray let out a shaky sigh and fell onto the thin side of the bathtub, biting his lip and he batted his wet eyes with his palms.

Ray and y/n had been an unexpected trio. Partners in crime, double trouble, you went well together despite their differences. You were an educated college student and he was a whiskey tango mess who couldn’t shut his mouth for the life of it. You cried, laughed, and did everything together. Little known to y/n, Ray didn’t have a crush on her-but he was more than in love.

However, when Ray is having severe social anxiety, an event he would typically rely on y/n to help him with, his “partner in crime” falls short. Ray knows that y/n is light years better than him. Here was the smartest and most beautiful woman he had met next to a college dropout who didn’t make it past Geometry.

Now the “perfect pair” is severed, leaving one half alone in the bathroom.

Ray’s forgotten how long he’s been in the bathroom for. These types of events always felt forced, and everyone knew that. Whenever that awkwardness would arise, Ray and y/n would choose to ditch and steal a few beers and sit in the bathtub, watching an obscure eighties film in the dark, cramped room with Ray’s god awful commentary.

But even though Ray has Born American downloaded, he can’t bring himself to watch it. Now he’s laying in the bathtub, picking at grout as he softly grieves. He’s hiding in there while y/n is ignoring all of their history.

Ray first arrived at the party, making a dramatic entrance. He made sure everybody knew that he was there, especially y/n. His original plan was to wear a purple tux he had snatched from walamrt since it was ugly as fuck, and Ray knew that. But knowing that you were going to be there, Ray made an attempt with an expensive navy polo and khaki shorts, courtesy of Nate.

Upon seeing you, Ray ran over from whatever he was doing to talk to you. Whether you were OD’S or a casual jumpsuit, you looked dead drop gorgeous-and Ray never knew how to express his affections. So he pulled you into a hug and muttered a shitty joke, and you just laughed.

Over the course of the next hour, the two of you catched up about your mundane lives. It made Ray feel guilty since he knew that you were better than him in every way possible, on the road of success. Your future sounded like you would go to some fancy school and then marry a lawyer. Ray wanted to be good for you, but he didn’t know how to at all. He followed you around like a lost puppy for the rest of the party, feeling a tinge of jealousy whenever one of the guys would give you a chaste hug or when you wouldn't pay attention to him for five minutes.

Ray didn’;t know why the fuck eh was feeling so sappy. It wasn’t like the two of you were dating (even though that’s exactly what he wanted).

Ray doesn’t hate Brad, but he just hates whenever he talks to you. He sees the two of you, smiling and laughing as you catch u[. Ray knows it’s rude, but he buds in and offers to get drinks for the “three amigos”. You kindly accept and Ray goes away to get drinks. He makes sure to spit inside of Brad’s drink as a childish act of revenge.

As Ray walks down the hallway balancing the three drinks, he pauses to hide behind the door since he hear’s Brad mention his name. You and Brad had moved to the couch, sitting too close for Ray’s comfort levels. He had an arm slung over the couch, which was barely touching you, but Ray had taken it as an offense.

Standing by the doorway and leaning, he overheard Brad’s words.

“Ray’s a little shit, whiskey tango loser, sister fucking, type of man. I don’t know what you see in him,” Brad had casually said, cold and straight to the point. He truly lived up to his name.

That’s when Ray dropped the drinks and ran towards the bathroom. He didn’t hear you respond, and that was the last thing he needed to hear.

Now Ray’s sitting in the tub, no longer holding tears back, but there coming out. A sob escapes his mouth and he tries to smile, but he can’t. He gets a taste of his salty tears and tries to stop the waterworks, but they come back, bigger and faster. It’s been a while since he had a good cry-but it happened at one of the most inconvenient times. And it was over a stupid girl-who he coulnd’t deny that he was in love with.

But y/n was lightyears ahead of him. Besides, Brad was (seemingly) a better fit for her. The scenario began to play in Ray’s wild mind. The memories of “double trouble” will get erased. Their wedding will be small, paid for by the Colberts. Q-Tip will DJ, Godfather will make a speech with his horrid voice, and Ray will make a shitty joke as usual. Worst had come to the worst.

Ray hears a drunk Q-tip sing along through the door to “I wanna dance with somebody”. His feelings sink even deeper cause it makes him think; now there’s no one to make fun of drunk girls with anymore. That was y/n’s favorite hobby about these forced get-togethers.

Ray knew that at some point, he’d be forced to come out. As he chokes back the incoming tears, he waits until his face becomes dry, planning to blame it on weed or something in his eyes or the five bud lights he regrets drinking.

Knock, knock, knock, knock

Ray looks up and wipes his face, forcing a fake laugh. “Oh hell yeah, I'll be out soon.”

“Ray, it’s me.” It’s y/n’s voice, and Ray can’t believe it’s her. A part of him wants her to come in, but the other part wants him to defend himself.

“Why do you want me to come out when you can hang out with your new big strong viking? Who talks all educated and shit since you just love being around him.” Ray spits out with a few sniffles.

Based on his words and the sniffles, you can tell something is clearly wrong.

You shake your head and lightly knock again, “Please, that’s not what happened. Brad’s an idiot, and we’re just friends. “Please, come out.”

Ray got out from the tub and came close to the door, feeling your frantic breathes again the door. “My biggest mistake was showing up. I wished I stayed up watching cable porn, or I offered myself. Besides, he’s better for you. Just go away.”

Hearing him say such things made you worry even more, afraid that he could do something to himself that he’d regret.

“Ray, open the damn door. Don’t say dumb shit.” You pleaded, frantically twisting the door knob. The worry was evident in your voice.

“No, fuck you! Fuck this whole place. You’re smart; just leave me alone.” Ray banged against the door as tears came down his face. He immediately regretted his choice of words, knowing that they would hurt you. He turned away to return to the bathtub, only to stop when he heard you now sniffling.

Mega fuck.

Ray reluctantly walks back to the door and opens it, to see your face, all red and wet like this. Both of you stood there, disheveled, tears both running down your face.

Not a single word was spoken between the two of you as you ran into his arms, pulling him close as you cried into his chest. Ray used his foot to slam the door shut and then proceeded to pull you into a bearhug, stroking the back of your head as he comforted you through your sobs.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” He repeated as his tears stained your shoulder as well, “I didn’t-fuck. I’m such a retar-” He froze, knowing that you hated that word. “Idiot. I just-fuck. Don’t cry. You’ll ruin all the stuff on your face-”, Ray said as he tilted your face up and started to wipe your tears.

“Makeup. ‘S fine, I’m not wearing much. I just didn’t wanna get mistaken for a middle schooler again.”

Ray and you both let out a chuckle in the midst of your shared crying session. He’s still wiping the tears from your face as you rest your arms on his waist.

“First time we met, y’know. Godfather thought you had a dick for a long time.” Ray added, which earned another laugh from you.

You shook your head, “Remember when Trombley found out I was a girl?”

“Looked like he was about to shit himself-he wouldn’t leave you alone.”

“Ugh, ‘s a nightmare.” The two of you filled the void with the awakened laughter you shared. Ray’s tiny hands moved to your chin, directing it slightly up.

“I still think you’re pretty hot either way, angel.” Ray confessed. The two of you looked at each other for a minute, seeing the love and pupils widen in both of your eyes. Standing on your toes, you and Ray’s lips gently pecked at each other. You could taste the bud light on his lips as Ray’s lips overpowered yours, gently cupping and sucking passionately.

“Fuck,” Ray breathed through the kiss as your foreheads touched, “I love you.”

“Shit, I’ve been waiting for you to say that,” You chuckled as your finger’s played with Ray’s dark hair. It’s gotten longer, and it’s at a length where he can awkwardly style it, but since Ray is Ray-it’s a mess, “I love you too. I’m sorry about Brad, you know how he is.”

“I just thought you and him were having a moment. I just started overthinking it since I thought you didn't wanna be around me. Which is chill, I was vibing,” Ray attempted to joke, which was a way to cope with his pain.

You shake your head and hold his face to reassure him. Ray looks down at you in awe, which makes a smile curve on your lips.

“Brad wasn’t touching me, he just was stretched out on the couch. Ray, don’t say that. You were in the bathroom for over an hour. I knew that you were ethier upset or having explosive diarrhea from Nate’s vegan casserole-or both.”

“That shit was beyond nasty. I bet he got all the ingredients at Trader joes and sold his soul just to buy it.” Ray quickly quipped.

“Jesus, don’t make me vomit.” You huffed as you looked at the bathtub, “Now are you gonna come out now without beating up someone?”

“Yes babycakes, as long as you do one thing.”

Cringing, you force a smile. It’s not because you don’t love him, but sometimes what comes out of his mouth can be questionable. “Yes Ray?”

He grabs your hand, which fits right into his. “Gotta show the homies who’s the alpha around here.”

You don’t mind holding Ray’s hand. You like the tight squeezes and the feel of his soft skin. As the two of you walk out of the bathroom back into the life of the party with the smell of barbeque and the august heat in the air.

“Oh god Ray, shut up.”

Ray simply responds with a goosey laugh.

#ray person #ray person x reader #ray person imagine #generation kill #generation kill x reader #generation kill imagine #carrie writes #tw suicide #tw ptsd #tw severe anxiety

[ectonurites]

so..... streamer tim au...... my eyes and ears are wide open......

okay so prefacing this with the fact that i have never actually watched any streamers the closest thing was my irl friend who TRIED to be a streamer and failed miserably and one time me and my roommate and my boyfriend watched his stream and interacted with him not revealing it was us to both support and vaguely mock him (hes kinda a dick. more of an acquaintance from dnd stuff than a friend) BUT:

tim playing every superhero related game (i KNOW the Death of Superman videogame that exists irl is also real in canon because Kon mentions it several times) + him also playing that freakazoid game he played during YJ #53

Like I think in general he’d probably stream a lot more older games, any game that has a skateboarding function, and then also like Minecraft because it’s a classic. 

actually kinda unrelated but in my high school this one guy did a project our senior year where he made a to-scale recreation of our entire town in Minecraft using actual satellite data (this kid had also been our class president but did JACK SHIT WHEN HE WAS CLASS PRESIDENT. BUT HE COULD MAKE OUR WHOLE TOWN IN MINECRAFT) and I’m amused by imagining Tim trying to do something like that with parts of Gotham

i think for the most part he would stream stuff alone and due to the fact that like, if I’m placing this around the time he’s at Brentwood (again I’m kinda using the ‘its harder for him to go out as Robin as frequently since. Boarding School, thus he has a bit more time to fuck around and play video games’ idea) and it’s shortly after No Man’s Land, people like, are recognizing who Timothy Drake is by his face bc he was on the news for being missing so he’d be able to actually get a pretty decent following pretty quickly. Possibly Ives would hop on sometimes too though bc he’s also a huge nerd.

Then, if I am placing this as starting in the Brentwood era, The YJ kids (and also Steph!) don’t actually know Tim is Robin yet. Which is hilarious to imagine, like, them watching him stream games or some shit for a while and then once they connect the dots being like WAIT. MOTHERFUCKER. THAT WAS YOU?? Once they know though they spam the shit out of his chat and make his life hell but in an endearing way

Bruce is also not amused because this puts a higher profile on Tim which could jeopardize their identities however he knows Tim’s under a lot of stress all the time always and this seems to be something fun he enjoys doing so he doesn’t say anything. He watches his streams sometimes in the cave as background noise while doing other stuff.

I think Tim’d probably end up stopping doing any of it around when War Games happened if not a bit earlier, because just… The energy is gone. He can’t pretend to be okay on stream for all that and just loses the drive to do any of it, and especially considering the next several years just get worse and worse for him, it was probably a good time to call it quits.

which then

Years later, like, after Red Robin & stuff, I love the idea of Damian stumbling on all of it by accident when trying to dig up embarrassing shit on Tim and actually really ending up liking watching him play? kinda… humanizing Tim more for him I guess. Because Damian in pre-new 52 times really sees Tim as a rival and a jerk, but seeing him actually be a goofy kid doing something like that… could be cool. Give a bit different of a perspective. Also Damian being competitive and wanting to test his skills against Tim in a game leading to:

Damian casually dropping hints around Tim that he also likes video games (cheese viking cheese viking) and Tim honestly hadn’t even thought about his streaming and video game stuff in years because god life got hectic, and they end up going to an arcade together to have some brotherly fighting in games and it’s actually very fun 

and can kinda… become their thing. They still fight all the time, they’re still not particularly close because there’s so much baggage to unpack there, BUT them having video games together as kind of a common ground and also it lets them beat the shit out of each other in a way without physical harm since its just in a game 

anyways thank u for coming to my TED talk

#streamer tim au #Anonymous #sam writes

[jrwiyuri]

Okay okay okay rant time rant time caused so many thoughts for episode 32 of jrwi so probably don’t read this unless you watched it- (a lot of these are going to be about chip but I just have a lot of emotions around him okaY?)

Loved the little bit where jay and gill were just making random teleport noises. Idk it was just fun and I enjoyed it :))

The good game high fives </3 (I remember being in soccer and having to do this)

Chip giving pretzel a snack and pretzel trusting chip again :’)

Chip trying to take the cat literally just so he can fuck with Gill

Oh god he has the fucking love potion now what dumbass idea is he going to try and fail with this thing?? (as funny as fish and chips would be I have 100% belief that it won’t happen and he’s going to try to like seduce a fucking enemy or some shit;;)

Oh yeah yeah chip fiddling with a coin :)))

Gill can’t whisper. That totally won’t backfire at all (I’m actually pretty sure he’s whispered before tho so lol it probably won’t ever backfire)

Captain Lizzie my absolute beloved <3

I have very mixed feelings about the whole war thing becuase on one hand it’s literally fucking war holy shit BUT on the other hand there’s a lot about pirating they don’t know and I have a feeling this is a lot more severe than we think- considering they killed whatever a fucking “pirate lord” is. (also gillion home might be fucking attacked?!!?!!!)

Side note I REALLY hope we learn more about pirating because knowing that grizzly had an actual pirate code written down plus this shit with pirate lords n stuff had me exited 👀 (god I love pirates and world building so much it’s so fuckin cool hell yes)

Chip really fucked with me emotionally when he lashed out tho fr like god chip yes you go protect ur friends from war bexause you care about them so deeply fucking hell ues *sobs* I shouldn’t have called u a bastard you are so based sir <3

Jay not wanting to go to war cause she would hurt her family wtf man 🧍‍♂️

Gill and moister man (I forgot his name I’m so sorry) doing some drunk spell casting with a little bit of trauma showing up!~ (haha funnies but also oh god aw fuck shit-)

But also seriously Gill wtf you said some stuff that I couldn’t quite understand but I feel like it’s new information and I WILL be going back to listen to it more 🔪🔪

Drunk chip trying to do a hand standing and jsut falling down like some dumbass, god I love him he’s an idiot <3

Jay being really sad and not wanting Gill to go to war wtf :(( (it was funny because haha drunk blabbering but also sHIT man jay really caring about Gill and not wanting him to leave and also possibly get hurt or even die man *sobs*)

Chip stopping jays sadnes by just fucking mocking gillion, what a fantastic group of friends LMAO

Them just in general being drunk idiots. I think they should drink more and I think earl should be their bartender (he gets a promotion finally <3)

Garfield the cat beating the shut out of some Vikings in an alleyway, interesting

#stupid snake talk #is this even comprehensible #maybe not #that’s okay though it doesn’t need to be

[mirkwoodest]

History Channel's Vikings By Season According to Émile, post-rewatch (spoilers!)

vikings s1: Good

yeah it just slaps, sets of the world, makes you care. there's a reason it got renewed. the themes get set up, the cool stuff they do with languages, all good. Not perfect, but good.

vikings s2: Great

Plot is even more exciting than s2 in my opinion. The family reuniting in a new way rules. the set-up and twist in the finale is *mwah* 'My main issue was that Kwentrith was given a really 2D pussy-nality. Her stuff with Ecgbert and hitting on everyone was a red flag for the pointless horniness of the next few seasons, RIP.

vikings s3: Cringe until the last 3 episodes

U g h Yeah it gets very annoying here. The horniness of this season gets really tiresome here. Where before if felt like there was sexual energy that served a purpose, it started to get really pointless and annoying in this season. The way they wrote Þorrun off was annoying. Her arc felt very pointless and her motivation for leaving lacked depth. I couldn’t make myself care at all about the Saxon politics and that’s the show’s fault, not my fault, because I found that stuff plenty engaging in  The Last Kingdom. 

Good character development for other characters, especially Rollo and Bjorn. Aethelstan's stuff is pretty good. Was I sad to see him go? Yes, but I know George got a great gig as the main character of Versailles after this and I thought his death was respectful of his narrative arc. Unpopular opinoin maybe, but I appreciated Ragnar’s first signs of downward spiral. THE SEIGE OF PARIS IS SO GOOD. Literally felt like I was just waiting for the whole season to get back to this section. It seems like they put all their energy into these three episodes and it made all the cringe worth it. 

vikings s4 part 1: VERY cringe until close to the end. 

The Yidu plot was a HUGE fuck up. one of the worst of the entire show imo. Introducing a woman of color doesn’t get you any diversity points if make her a 2 dimensional sterotype and kill her horribly, lol. The political stuff in Paris with Odo and Charles and the offbrand Lannisters? Not a fan. Don’t care. Didn’t come here for that. Contributed nothing. The political stuff in Wessex with Exbert and Judith and Aethelwulf and Kwentrith? Not a fan. Don’t care. Didn’t come here for that. Could have all been cut and nothing would have been lost except for maybe little glimpses of baby Alfred. So many excessive and pointless horniness. Like WHY?

The only sex scenes that didn’t make me cringe were with Rollo and Gisla because they were funny and light and served a narrative purpose. Rollo and Gisla’s stuff was all solid gold. I would have liked more of it, to be honest. Enemies to lovers arranged marriage slowburn? Medieval powercouple? Girlboss/Malewife vibes? I wanted them to have a spin-off. Bjorn and the bear was a GOOD plot. It was a very effective way to make Bjorn grown up very fast. Lagertha making good on her promise to kill Kalf and doing it on their wedding day? A real GirlBoss move. I was similarly satisfied by Torvi’s stuff. I think it’s rad that she was such a minor character in season 2 and by season 4 she’s gotten pretty interesting. Ragnar’s downfall hurt, but it was a long time coming. It narratively made sense. As soon as they got back to Paris, the battles were once again wicked. That shit with the towers and the chain and the fire arrows was beautiful. Seriously, planning out interesting and engaging battles is one of the main strong suits of this show, it never disappoints. Finale? GOLD. Making us root for Rollo and feel satisfied that he had defeated the family of protagonists we’ve been rooting for this whole time? Genius. The jump forward in time!!!!!!! I remember I lost my shit watching it the first time. Because all of the first half of S4 is all about Ragnar falling to pieces, it was really useful and hopeful to see OH YEAH the next generation is about to take over.

vikings s4 part 2: Soooooooo good oh my god.

The tragedy. The coming together. Knowing that everyone's shit is about to get wrecked. TBH this might be the strongest season in terms of big-picture storytelling without neglecting nuances of individual characters. Biggest complaint is just that Gisla was treated as a dead end when there was still so much potential for interesting shit to happen with her and Rollo. Sigh. I thought Lagertha's characterization started to fray a bit though. Like it seemed like she was at peace w/ Aslaug so why kill her after she surrendered?

vikings s5 part 1: Decent

Good plot. Less over-the-top horniness. Very solid except Heamund was very annoying. Stuff with the brothers was pretty good. Lagertha's characterization continued to fray though. Idk why I don't have much to say, I guess that kind of speaks to the quality of 5a. Not mindblowing but not rage inducing.

vikings s5 part 2: Okay...

The plot itself was pretty good except Freydis is 2D as fuck. Great potential just left to rot on the floor. I'm in love with Gunnhild. Heamund was.... poorly cast. They continued to tone down the over-the too horniness and everyone benefited. Gunnhild my beloved... Thorra's character existing just to be fridged was 🙄 Speaking of which Hvitserk's arc was all over the place and totally disconected from where he came from of where he was going.

vikings s6 part 1: Good

Good tbh. Kiev is DOPE. Ingrid was kind of 2D. Hvitserk's fixation on Thorra was kind of hard to buy into because she had so little screentime and personality before being fridged. Bjorn's, Ivar's, and Hvitserk's arcs all felt solid and interesting. Loved everything with the little Russian prince. Yeah. Bjorn's kid dying felt very pointless though, and made me annoyed at Lagertha. Lagetha's end was good. Bjorn wrecking Hvitserk was extremely triggerig hahaha but good. The battle with the Rus was good. Character development for everyone but Hvitserk felt solid

vikings s6 part 2: Good

Mostly all good. Bjorn's final stuff was great. Hvitserk and Ivar's stuff was good, the Rus plotline was good. I really disliked the Gunnhild, Ingrid, Harald, Eric stuff. Like compared to the other plotlines it felr very hollow. They made Ingrid more 3D at least. I have mixed feelings about Gunnhild..... like it was kind of a badass end, but she was supposed to be the mother of kings???? The England plotline was pretty good, especially Ivar, Hvitserk, and Harald's stuff although Alfred just couldn't compare with TLK's Alfred in terms of depths. He was comparatively very 2D. I think they rushed Hvitserk's arc completion. There was interesting stuff that could have been mined. Ubbe and Torvi's stuff was p agonizing but the payoff was huge. I liked the Canada plotline. Very satisfying and a beautiful counterbalance to to the tone of the entire show, creating a really fitting ending in my book. Like perfect? No, of course not. The had sooo many strings to tie up so it would have been almost impossible to do it perfectly. But overall it was a satisfying and natural end. I felt like investing so much time to go on a journey with these characters was worth it in the end and it gave me a lot to think about.

#rape mention #vikings tv #I probably left out some stuff but this isnmy general take #txt

[whenimaunicorn]

If u don't mind me askig why do you hate vikings so much? I'm new to the fandom and just found ur blog and then saw that u don't write for Vikings anymore which made me quite sad bc i love ur stuff

The writing.... it’s the writing choices. Everything after episode 5x02 hurt my soul. Over and over. My favorite characters acting out of character, new characters being treated poorly, all in the service of repetitive plotlines that are boring as shit and soul-suckingly nihilistic.

I do still write AUs with my favorite boys. But I can’t touch canon after 4b even with a 40-foot pole.

#truth time #Anonymous

[badanimereviews]

Summer 2019 anime: what to watch

This season is going to be so bloody awesome I can already tell, there’s a lot of very unique & exciting shows that I can’t wait for omgggg

Arifureta Shokugyou de Sekai Saikyou

I don’t usually include images but I think I’ll start to just cause I wanna show off.... how..... so pretty and aesthetic this cover is like holy crap? it’s really nice. the character designs looks very well-done and the art style is very nice and clean. Let’s talk about the premise too: a whole class getting isekai’d. apparently it’s not just me who’s had dreams of their whole class getting transported to a fantasy world? also this one power this mc guy has i swear it’ll end up being super op or so help me god. i love isekai anime and as a genre so ofc im watching this, even so, i bet this one will be really good. 

Cop Craft

dunno how i really feel about this one but i’ll check it out just cuz ive got nothing better to do :/ i’m digging the girl, tirana- she looks pretty yo but why are there pompoms on her outfit it ruins the vibe also the guy is too old for my tastes so i feel that might ruin this show for me. i’m getting Gate vibes

Dr Stone

decided to check it out cuz that AMAZING bg art like HOLY FUCK! it’s super nice but then I saw the cover art on MAL and it looked ugly and shounen? i don’t know what to believe but like, it could be pretty cool. and creepy and i like science stuff bc aesthetic or whatever 

Danmachi s2: it’s danmachi what else do i gotta say i loved it, and sword oratoria too, i played the game, s1 ended on a cliffhanger, let’s go boiz

Enen no Shouboutai

why do i get ditf vibes from this? i hate those costumes? but the art style is cool? and it could be pretty interesting?

Granbelm

lolis! magic! what more do u need! premise doesn’t give much info but still thought i’d check it out, tho from the 2 covers i saw it looks mecha... even tho the tags said it’s magic... anyhow, i am digging the art style, it’s clean, cutesy, don’t think this show will be powerful or anything but could be fun

Isekai Cheat Magician

the title fuckin says it all, my dudes. there ya go. even so, it is isekai therefore i must at least try it. character designs are nice. first character impressions are boring mc guy, white haired bird girl is annoying as fuck, everyone else is a tsundere. even so i am tryna be hopeful so! i love magic shit!

Kanata no Astra

i already hate the girl with the puppet. also the premise givin me lost in space vibes... i hate space with a passion but i love a good survival story so if the characters aren’t a bunch of little bitches then i’ll watch it. art style is kinda meh, character designs.... honestly not too keen on them but whatever.

To the Abandoned Sacred Beasts

can i scream briefly? i just read this entire manga series and didn’t think it was popular enough to get an anime anytime soon but here we are? i am so pumped to watch this? the manga is so good? it’s so good? i am so excited i can’t stop using question marks? WHTA THE FUCK I AM SO ESXCAUAT excited OMy god!!!!!! i love nancy! mappa don’t do her dirty! don’t do hank dirty! they deserve better! this is so good and i am glad a good studio gets to animate it! although.... the manga’s art style is so much more stylistic and nice to look at but it looks too different and sucky here so i am a little sad but this is only the cover art. holy fuck it’s actually getting an anime yas! this is so good i can’t say it enough oml

Naka no Hito Genome

i rly like this art style. character designs are rly nice too. this sounds p interesting actually i like game anime and i like making up game-based stories too so i can’t wait to see how this will play out... haha... pun... cuz gamers... play... haha...

Vinland Saga

never read the manga even tho i saw it in the library so often, but since anime is easier for me to eat up i decided to try it! i love history and i love viking stuff too so i hope this will be up my alley

Bem

the art style looks cool. i will try this out.. tho that premise? sounds rly weird? but intriguing enough. i hope it won’t be one of those super edgy confusing as shit things cuz then imma drop it. im not smart enough to watch heavy anime and play love nikki at the same time ok

there’s also the accelerator anime coming out too but i’m not caught up on index so imma pass for now

anyways in summary, this season is gonna be swole as shit and fricken amazing i don’t care what anyone says there are actually so many good shows airing this season and a bunch of awesome leftovers too so lets get this fuckin bread

#review #anime #anime review #To The Abandoned Sacred Beasts #danmachi #bad anime reviews #vinland saga

[car-karaoke]

Popcorn

This is an idea that I haven't been able to get out of my head for the last few months, so I decided to finally put pen to paper (metaphorically speaking). This wasn't a request, and I try to finish those first, so this one has kind of been on the back burner for awhile. Hopefully you guys enjoy it as much as I did!

Warnings: s m u t, fluffy Alex, language

Pairings: Alex H x Reader

--------------------------------------

I really need to get myself a floor length mirror so I can just sit on the floor to do this...you thought to yourself as you sat precariously on top of your cramped bathroom counter trying to apply your makeup. You were trying to do a simple cat eye look and, as usual, one eye looked perfect and the other looked like you applied it drunk and half blind. "Fuck" you muttered to yourself as it smudged yet again. Why did this have to be so difficult tonight of all nights? You were meeting up with Alex and Ida for a movie. You had met them on the set of Vikings. You were merely an extra with no acting experience, your character was so non-important that her name was literally 'Extra 54'. They just needed bodies for a battle scene. But you had bumped into Ida by chance and made quick friends with her and she introduced you to the rest of the cast

Ida was so unbelievably sweet it was hard not to love her. Your adoration for her just barely outweighed the secondary feeling of immense jealousy of wanting to look like her. I mean, she was gorgeous. Anyone with eyes could see that. It would be easy to hate her if she was a bitch, but she's not in the slightest. You tried very hard not to be envious of her, but a decade worth of self loathing was working against you. Still, she was one of your closest friends and she had introduced you to Alex and Marco, who ended up being your other really good friends

For the first few times hanging out with Alex, you tried denying the inevitable feelings you had for him. Like Ida, he was crazy handsome and super charismatic; causing basically everyone to fall in love with him. At this point, you hard to literally swallow your feelings for him every time you saw him. You had to physically stop yourself from touching him. It had become so much of a nuisance that lately, you had tried avoiding him. Things were never going to happen between you two, so why torture yourself? When Alex sent a group text to you, Marco and Ida about going to a movie, you decided it would probably be safe since you wouldn't be alone with him. Marco had plans, but you and Ida said yes

You finally (after much more cursing and a few shots of whiskey) managed to make your eye makeup nearly match. You hopped off the counter and checked your phone for the time. You had about 10 minutes before Alex was supposed to pick you up. You put on some shorts and one of your favorite blouses. It was very flattering of your figure and showed some cleavage, but not a ton. It was a top that made you feel the rare feeling of confidence. You spritzed yourself with perfume and then your phone buzzed. He was here. Alright, you got this Y/N. Just have fun, it is just a fun time at the movies with your friends

You walked down the stairs of your apartment building and went outside to see Alex's car. You walked over to it and opened the passenger side door. You senses were immediately intrigued by the scent of his amazing cologne hitting your nose. "You smell nice!" You pointed out, reaching over and giving him a quick half hug. He grinned at you, blushing lightly

"Thank you! You look nice" he said, looking at your outfit. You shuffled a little in your seat, fidgeting with your shorts before buckling

"So..." you started, looking straight forward and trying not to concentrate on how fucking delicious he looked and smelled. "Are we swinging by Ida's place? I figured you would've picked her up first"

Alex looked slightly embarassed you noticed. "Uhh yeah about that...she cancelled on us..." he glanced over at you to gauge your reaction. You looked confusedly at him. "Yeah she called like half an hour ago and said she was throwing up but that she wanted us to 'go have fun'" he said with air quotations. Your cheeks immediately felt hot. FUCK. Just you and him alone at a movie? Like a date? Oh god damn it. You weren't sure you could get through this in one piece

"I totally understand if you dont want to go now that Ida isn't coming" you blurted out. Alex furrowed his eyebrows at you

"Why would I not want to go just because she's not coming?" He asked seriously. Oh god, did you just give yourself away?

"Well...I just know you're closer with her than you are with me probably and...I dont know..." you stammered, not even looking at him

"You don't know?" He repeated, looking at you with a clenched jaw

"I just...I dunno....I kind of figured you guys like...I dont know...had a thing for each other" you admitted while blushing madly. Alex let out a sharp breath followed by an amused laugh

"Me and Ida?" He laughed again, rubbing his face with both hands. You nodded sheepishly. "No. We're not. Aren't you close with her? I would think she would tell you if she had a thing for me"

"She said there's nothing between you guys yeah. But I didnt know if maybe she was just saying that because she knows how I feel about--" you cut yourself off, mortified that you almost said it. Alex's face, on the other hand, lit up with interest

"Knows how you feel about what??" He pressed excitedly

"No! I'm not telling you Alex! No fucking way!!" You groaned, desperate for him to let it go. But he wouldn't, you knew that

"How you feel about me?" He questioned quietly, his face soft. Your could tell your cheeks were getting redder by the second. You just groaned and buried your face in your hands as Alex started laughing lightly, reaching out a hand to put on your shoulder. "Did I guess right?"

You peeked up between your fingers like a little kid and started laughing at his expression. "Yes, asshole you did" his smile grew even bigger until he bit his bottom lip. "I totally get it if you dont feel the same, we dont have to go to this movie or anything. If you want, I can stop hanging around you guys..." you were interrupted by his lips pressing against yours suddenly. You gasped when his lips hit yours. Holy shit, were you imagining this? He pulled his head back to look at you

"I want to go to this movie with you Y/N. Not as just a friend. I want to take you as my date. I've been sitting over here crushing on you since the first day Ida introduced us" he admitted, hand still cupping your face sweetly. You shook your head in disbelief. No way this was actually happening. "When she said she wasn't coming, I got so fucking excited" he giggled. "I knew immediately that I was going to make my move on you" he said as he stroked your skin

You leaned forward to kiss him again, which he accepted gladly, using both hands this time. You broke apart for air eventually, both of you breathing heavy. "Alright anyways!! Let's go to this movie!" You laughed

"You got it dear" he grinned, putting the car in drive and heading out.

You arrived at the theater with a little time to spare. Alex got out of the car first and walked over to you and immediately grabbed your hand before walking towards the entrance. You looked down at your intertwined hands and smiled. He noticed that and squeezed your hand smiling along with you. "Get used to it, I'm not afraid to show some PDA" he laughed

"I'm not either" you squeezed his hand back as he made a satisfied face before holding the door open for you. You led him inside and made your way to the ticket booth. Before you could even say anything, he pulled out his wallet and bought two tickets before returning to you with a smirk and handing you one

"I got us seats in one of those suite things!" He said excitedly. You knew what he was talking about since you'd done that a few times. They were separate areas where the customers got to be separated from the rest of the theater. Your mind immediately raced to the dirty thoughts that had been trying to escape since you met him. You could probably get away with some of that in there....you wondered if he was thinking the same thing...

Alex asked if you wanted some popcorn to which you agreed. He led you to the food counter, still holding your hand. "Ooo! We need these!" He said enthusiastically as he grabbed two boxes of candy. You giggled. What an adorable little man child you thought to yourself. He purchased the food and drinks and you guys headed to your little secluded area in the theater. You were thankful to see that the chairs in there were like the others, connected with armrests that you could move out of the way. Alex sat down in one of the chairs, situating the drinks, candy and popcorn strategically around you both

"Wont be needing this thing" Alex gestured to the armrest. "We've been waiting too long to cuddle each other" he moved it out of the way as you silently agreed, nodding your head quickly with eager eyes. "C'mere lovely" he gestured to you, arm out waiting to put it around you. You happily leaned in, snuggling against his side and inhaling his scent again

"You smell so fucking good" you giggled, nuzzling your head into his chest. He laughed heartily, his hand immediately sliding under your shirt to rub your back

"Thanks baby, you do too" he smiled, then you felt his body tense up. "Are you okay if I call you stuff like that?" He asked suddenly. "I can stop, I didnt even think about that, it just sort of slipped out...I'm just really fucking excited this is happening" he stuttered. You immediately looked up at him reassuringly

"I am too! I'm completely fine with you calling me things like that, it's fucking adorable" you smiled pushing your head up to kiss his cheek. He smiled lovingly at you before pulling your head back to kiss your lips. Both of you were smiling into the kiss, little satisfied noises escaping your lips. You carefully let your tongue poke out slightly to trace his bottom lip. Alex responded immediately by moaning quietly and letting his tongue slip into your mouth. Alex's hands were already hungrily roaming around your body, while yours were doing the same. You still couldn't believe this was happening, so you wanted to touch as much of him as you possibly could before you woke up from this dream

You felt his hand tentatively brush along your ass, as if he was waiting to see what your reaction was. When you bit down on his lip softly in response, he all but growled and squeezed your cheeks hard. You had to stop yourself from straight up straddling him right there and instead let your hand drift under his shirt and started tracing patterns along his hips with your nails softly. He moaned very audibly. You smirked in the darkness, knowing you had this affect on him. Just as you were about to plunge your hand deeper down his jeans, the movie started with an extremely loud intro, causing both of you to jump in your seats and snap out of the little world you were in

Your heart was racing from being startled in such a moment, you had instinctively squeezed your arms around Alex's torso and hid your face when the noise hit your ears. Alex just so happened to straighten up immediately and shield your body with his, wrapping his arms around you protectively. When he realized it was just the movie, he burst out laughing. You loosened your grip around him and peeked out, looking at the movie screen in betrayal

"What the HELL?!" you half yelled half laughed. Alex continued laughing as he mumbled something in Danish

"Scared the shit out of me" he laughed, rubbing your back soothingly. "I was prepared to beat some guy down!"

You laughed along with him, relaxing your body and leaning back into him, just more innocently this time. "So protective, I like it" you giggled. Alex smirked down at you, grabbing your hand and bringing it to his lips for a kiss

"M'lady" he said in a sultry voice. You pressed your lips together in a smile and thanked him. The movie actually was pretty interesting, both you and Alex were pretty into it. He kept his arm around you the entire time, snacking on the popcorn and candy with his free hand. He liked to feed you little bits of popcorn playfully while making a comment on the movie. Everything was going wonderfully and you were both managing to keep things fairly innocent until the female lead in the movie started making out with the male lead in the shower. Your mind immediately went straight to the gutter as you pictured that being the both of you. Please don't show them having sex, I'm gunna freak the fuck out you thought to yourself. As if on cue, the couple started doing exactly that. You had been mindlessly tracing Alex's arm with your hand before this scene, and you just now realized you had stopped

Alex was trying to hide the smirk on his face. He had certainly noticed. He leaned down to your ear and whispered lowly to you. "Is something distracting you love?"

You tried to feign innocence and looked up at him with your most convincing 'normal' face. "Shower sex can be such a hassle sometimes" you blurted out. He grinned at you and nodded his head in agreement

"It can be yeah, but not if you're with someone who knows what they're doing. And if you've got a big enough shower" he added. Your cheeks grew hot. The actors were moaning and had just made their way over to a bed and just continued on from there. Your eyes were glued to the screen. Alex's eyes were glued to you. You crossed your legs to try and relieve some of the tension growing there. The movie was insinuating that the guy had just started going down on his woman. You felt your core literally tighten as you took a shaky breath in. Alex didnt miss a beat

"I fucking love doing that" he whispered in your ear, causing you to whimper ever so softly. He hummed in your ear and gently bit your earlobe. "I wanna do that to you so fucking bad..." he trailed on, a smirk plastered on his face. His hand trailed down to your crossed legs, letting it wander painfully slow in between your legs that you just uncrossed for him. You felt his breath on your ear again. "If I were to stick my hand down your shorts right now, how wet would you be smukke?"

"Soooo unbelievably wet" you moaned, unable to help yourself. Alex hummed pleasantly

"Good" he said simply before plunging his hand down there without warning. You weren't lying, you were already so wet for him. His fingers slid up and down your slick folds with ease before he circled around your clit with angel-like softness. "Fuck..." he muttered darkly, pushing your head to the side with his nose and immediately biting down on your neck. You groaned in pleasure, hand instinctively going to his crotch. You could feel his massive erection through his jeans

"Seems I'm not the only one excit--" you gasped as he plunged two fingers inside of you. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head. His fingers felt so impossibly good inside of you

"What were you saying?" He asked cheekily. You just laughed in response, eyes closed as you unzipped his pants and freed his cock. You tilted you head to the side and opened your eyes. God that thing was going to fill you to the brim. You started stroking it, earning another moan from Alex, who had temporarily stopped finger fucking you to roll his head back in pleasure. You quickly glanced around to check if anyone was looking. Nope, you guys were clear. You continued pumping him as he got closer and closer to the edge. He had continued fingering you as well, causing you to nearly climax before pulling his fingers out of you

"Hey!" You huffed in frustration as he shifted in his seat. He just smirked and propped himself up, leaning over to kiss you

"Hush my sweet one, I need to do something" he looked at you with mischievous eyes. God he looked and sounded EXACTLY like Ivar at that moment, turning you on even more. But what the hell was he doing? Oh god...

Alex glanced around him quickly then kneeled down in front of your lap. He wasn't going to....yup. He was. He slowly pulled your shorts and panties down while looking directly at you. He gently pushed your legs open with his calloused hands. You swear you could see his eyes turning darker as he took you in. "Gods you're beautiful..." he murmured before kissing your inner thigh. You couldn't form words, all you could do was stare at him hungrily. His long fingers reached towards your core, sliding so easily into your entrance. He looked up at you for your permission, mouth pulling closer to where you wanted him most. "Say it" he ordered softly. You moaned at his voice, biting your lip hard. "No no my love SAY it. I'm not going to do it unless you give me permission" he said slyly, kissing directly above your clit

"Fuck" you breathed out, reaching down to yank on his hair. He groaned happily but didn't close the gap yet. "I want you so bad Alex god damn it. Pleeease" you whispered. That's all he needed. With a satisfied smile, he dove into your pussy, licking a long strip up your folds before circling his tongue around your clit and sucking it into his mouth, fingers slowly moving inside of you. It took everything in you not to cry out in pleasure. That man KNEW what he was doing. Your grip on his hair tightened as you pushed his head closer to you. He moaned against your wet folds, voice vibrating through your skin, causing you to shiver

"You taste...fucking...amazing" he moaned as he kissed all around it. Your legs were already shaking

"Shiiiit Aleeeex" you whimpered, making him speed up his pumps as he went back to sucking your clit. Your vision was cloudy as the pleasure built inside of you. You were so incredibly overstimulated by everything happening right now. The act itself of getting eaten out was usually enough to make you swoon. The fact that it was Alex doing it to you skyrocketed that feeling. The fact that you were getting eaten out by Alex in a fucking theater where anyone could catch you? Altogether almost too much. You felt like you were going to explode. And you did, all over Alex's fingers with an orgasm that was quickly swallowed by his lips

"Ohhh smukke" Alex groaned against your lips as he knelt in front of you. He was holding your head in place by the back of your neck as he kissed you fiercely. You were suddenly very thankful that you were sitting down, because your legs were shaking so bad that if you were standing up, you would've surely fallen over. Alex's other hand slid down your leg and felt the rapid movement, he looked up at you with concern in his eyes. "Baby, are you okay?" He whispered as he rubbed your leg soothingly

You managed a small laugh and nodded quickly. "More than okay" you reassured him. "Alex...that was...amazing" you pulled his head towards yours again and rested your forehead against his. Alex's smile was from ear to ear, looking at you with such adoration

"Wanna get out of here?" He asked you huskily, kissing your cheek, then nose, then forehead then other cheek. You giggled and nodded excitedly. You started getting up before realizing that you were still naked from the waist down and immediately cursed, stumbling back into your seat. Your arm got caught in between the chairs and you both bursted out laughing. Alex, even though he was laughing hysterically, immediately reached out to help you get unstuck. He helped slide your panties back on with an added kiss to each thigh. Then came your shorts. Finally dressed, you got up and snuck out hand in hand with Alex, leaving your popcorn and soda behind. The only evidence to be found was the little wet dab of cum on the seat left behind and your combined giddy laughter as you hurriedly left the theater

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GUYS THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING!! It was a long time coming and I am very proud of this one! Let me know what you all think and like/reblog if you enjoyed it!! I appreciate you guys so much ❤

@odinsravendutchess @peaceisadirtyword @ivaraddict @ivarlcthbrok @honestsycrets @meleedamage @lisinfleur @grungyblonde @laketaj24 @headedforvalhalla @forvalhallaandodin @dangerousvikings @thevikingsheaux @kissme-hs @ivarthebonelessvk @ivar-theboneless @ivarslittlebadgirl @ivarsshieldmadien @ivarswickedqueen @ivars-heathen-army @therealcalicali @nikky-the-writer @oddsnendsfanfics @angryschnauzer @vikingsbifrost @vikingsstories @vikingdrabbles @ravens-of-kattegat @lisinfleur @ivarsrideordie @justacripple @normatural @tephi101 @whisperer-of-freya

#alex høgh reader fluff #alex høgh andersen x reader #alex høgh #alex hogh andersen #alex hogh #alex hogh x reader #alex hogh imagine #vikings #fluff #smut

[despiteherself]

I'm a multishipper, and I'm not sold on Tuffstrid yet. I've been asking around, and I've yet to find a shipper. then i stumbled upon you. so tell me, why should i ship Tuffstrid? or, why do YOU ship it?

fjhdgdjhfgdf tbh i wasn’t sure how to answer this bc this ask kind of comes across weird? like. 1. its weird to me that u specified it was hard to find a shipper when i am 85% of the tag (both tumblr and ao3 lol) ??? ive been here for like ???5??? years i don’t. surely just looking at the tag would have been easy to find me/someone (and then me bc .... all the tuffstrid shippers are my friends pretty much). 2. idk its odd to me that u want me to convince u or whatever, i mean you don’t need 2 ship it lmao. if u do that’s fantastic i love having more shippers around pls leave comments on my fics thank. and expanding that point: 3. also i have a tag (ive even put it in chronological order for u, altho it looks like posts r missing???) and i have definitely covered this stuff already. when i want to learn abt something new i just. consume people’s content and read fics and not ask ppl to justify their ships lol????? so yeah. noah fence cause i dont mean it but this definitely feels kinda off to me??? a little like you’re asking a leading question

BUT. u r asking me about my favourite topic so 

i think maybe the first important thing to say is. i don’t like h*ccstrid. i don’t like it’s narrative, i don’t like the way astrid’s used as a plot device and this meta outside of the ships is important. fact: astrid was written as a love interest. fact: this is integral to how she’s treated and her change of characterisation. i don’t know what your thoughts of that is, but if you’re with like 97% of this fandom on it, then. maybe that’s what you’re having trouble with? i have many many many issues with the way astrid is treated in this franchise and foremost with any ship i have with her, she needs to stand up as a character on her own. 

(i feel this way about ALL characters. they should stand up on their own without a relationship. ESPECIALLY for women. their characterisation SHOULDN’T be revolving around a man, and ba ba, h*ccstrid fails cause it’s all about hiccup. the hiccup show.)

astrid’s character is built around what hiccup needs in the plot and that’s that. i don’t like that. i don’t like “oh also now she’s a supportive gf and jsut like. is incapable at all the stuff she was training for her whole life uwu” and ppl out here like. wow. that’s growth!! Nah man. that’s a manic pixie dream viking with the personality of soggy bread masquerading as my mean, steady, sure of herself gal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what i want: astrid to be a person outside of a relationship. i want flaws, and i want humanity and i want to start with something new and not fix something broken. 

the point IS and i am running out of steam bc i am exhausted and i have been for literal days and i need to go to bed!!!!!! but. in tuffstrid, these two get to be individual characters. themselves first, and then we get the relationship. 

I LVOE THIS CHARACTRERS SO MUCH AND I WANT THE M TO BE HAPPY AND LOOK.... THEY HAVE SO MUCH CHEMISTRY................................................................................ THEY ARE GOOD FITS OK 

astrid is steady, and sure of herself and kind of a major stick in the mud and tuff is a loveable goofball who slacks off, and astrid needs some of that crazy to let go and be fun and actually have that character growth and tuff needs rountine and structure. they balance each other out. 

thta’s it!!!! that’s my manifesto!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

can u not imagine big buff jock astrid and her confused kindness and wonder at tuff’s witty, marshmallow self??????? my fics are my love letters to what i love about them as characters, and their relationship i think checking out my ao3 is better than my later night ramblings. i have a writing tag too. 

also i put that gif there bc there is literally nothing more romantic than the way astrid’s watching tuff balance that knife and her little breath, and fond expression. tuffstrid is little fond moments, all through the series!! they hang out really close once you look. i dont give a shit about forced down ur throat ships (NEVER spell out what i SHOULD ship if u want me to. develop the romance but NEVER tell me bc i hate that). i care about tiny moments, tiny things like the knife scene, and the fact they’re always standing together, and tuff looking at astrid to make dirty jokes, and them sharing tiny stuff! i care about astrid being so adamant that tufff is aware she doesn’t think he’s hideous in direct parallel to how that’s ALWAYS a romantic thing in movies with monsters. tuff calling her milady. tuff defending her. tuff knowing astrid so well he’s the one telling hiccup how to be deserving of astrid. they have so much chemistry it’s right there, and it’s so tantalising and exciting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ppl feel free to add on stuff u love abt tuffstrid im a mess 

#ask #beautifulgundrun #tuffstrid #mhmmm i sleep now #beautifulgudrun

[lightrivals]

so . endgame . this is gonna be a spoiler filled review so pls skip this if u haven’t watched it!! forewarning: this is a relatively positive review and I’m a tony stan so if you disliked the movie / tony stark and want to find more ppl like you, you are not gonna find it here but I am gonna critique a few things too bc there were issues to be addressed. also, while this is a Hot Také™️ opinion piece that doesn’t mean I lack the ability to understand or even agree with the opposing opinions; this is just what I came out the theater with and still think about after discussion with others.

Anyway let’s begin!

Personally, Endgame gave me great closure for one of my favorite characters. I’m extremely Tony biased like, to a very extreme degree but he’s a character I connect with who has personally helped me through the years with his story so I think my attachment and bias can be excused a little. Even with that bias, I believe I can also understand other characters without the “I Love Tony Stark So Much” goggles shaping what I see. This is also gonna focus on the main six because this movie is dedicated to them, but all the other characters were awesome and I enjoyed their cameos/presence.

I’m gonna talk about Tony first because he’s my main focus for being so invested in the MCU. I’ve been watching the MCU since it started and 11 years later, seeing my favorite character, a character I connected with so much especially because of IM3 where he had anxiety and panic attacks like I was having at the time / still have (to a lesser degree though), die hurts so much. I could not stop crying in about the last hour when I knew he was gonna die. I’ve said it before on this site that the logical conclusion for his story is death. The only way Tony is gonna leave the armor as he’s been trying to since Avengers 1 is to die. He IS Iron Man, Iron Man is HIM, there is no difference. The only way Iron Man is over is if his life ends, too. So with that I figured this would be the end for him. I’ve been thinking he’s gonna die since Infinity War so, his death was not too much of a surprise. It still hurt like hell to see it happen, to know he’s truly gone. What hurts the most is that Morgan Stark will never truly know her father personally. She’s too young to remember much but at least she has his legacy surrounding her and loving her, knowing her father exchanged his life for her and everyone else on Earth to live freely. I did like that Tony got to see his dad one last time while he was a father himself. He got to come to terms with his dad in a way he never could before. RDJ’s acting was on point in this movie and I love him for what he’s done with Tony Stark.

I also want to point out the talk between Tony and Steve when Tony returns. I found this conversation to be very vital in addressing the issues between the two and why they possibly lost in Infinity War. I’ve said this before but the obvious thing is that the Avengers probably stood a chance against Thanos if they weren’t all split up thanks to the events of Civil War. Steve said they would fight together and lose together but as Tony points out, they didn’t lose together. They lost separately and Tony was stranded from Earth in space miles away for a month starving and dying. He had foreseen what was gonna happen and tried his best to achieve protection—his armor around the world plan—but the others merely chided him for it and then fought each other because of the consequences of not wanting that particular armor. And then they lost in the end, separated and Tony is torn. He is damaged and weak and sick and tired, he was nearly murdered and he lost the kid in turn. It is a sad moment and I was very happy it wasn’t immediate apologies when Tony arrived. The others had a month to reconcile but Tony was still dealing with what he faced alone with only Nebula and the ashes of Peter in his mind. I really enjoyed that conversation and found it to be a really good prelude to how the rest of the movie would pan out. When he took off the arc reactor and shoved it at Steve and told Steve to run and hide, gave Steve the armor and told him to do something about it…powerful stuff right there.

Now about Tony’s death: I think it was really important for him to do the final snap of ending Thanos’ war. He and Thanos have been the two at odds with each other this entire time. We know it’s going to eventually end up being him against Thanos like it was in Infinity War. But when he took the stones from Thanos and said “I am Iron Man” in retaliation to Thanos claiming he was inevitable!! Thanos is always gonna come but as long as Tony is Iron man, he will be defeated. Tony is the one who can save the universe and I think it’s also super important that he uses the most dangerous weapon ever. Tony protects the world with weapons, he started off profiting from it, but grows throughout the movies to eventually be trusted to use the most powerful weapon in the universe to save it. The Avengers trust him to use it for good and he trusts them to deal with the stones afterwards. It’s beautiful, it so beautiful. He dies with two families: his biological/iron fam and his superhero family. He dies trusting them to carry on not only his legacy but the legacy of Earth, of the Avengers, of avenging the universe in full. He is Iron Man and he finally gets to rest. He gets to put down the armor and save the universe like he’s been trying for years with the Avengers’ trust backing him up. Personally, I believe this is the hero death Tony deserved. He used to be a man who was feared for the destruction he caused and he went through a deep and thorough redemption and self-realizations to then be trusted to use the most destructive weapon for the greater good.

Now on to Thor and Bruce, two characters who I have an issue with in terms of their characterization. Thor’s dealing with a lot of shit. Understandable as hell; his story is probably the most dark given he has no living family anymore. Tony got lucky and his loved ones, Peter aside, survived. Thor lost everyone. He killed Thanos, he went for the head, but still didn’t win. His depression, anxiety, and PTSD is so valid. What I hate is that he didn’t get the same treatment in Endgame Tony got in IM3. Yes, Thor’s is a lot darker of a situation but he didn’t need to be the brunt of jokes. I understand that he is over 1000 years old and in the grand scheme of things, this moment in time is a blink and a bit of a sick joke. I understand that he falls back into his old Viking ways of alcoholism and whatnot. It’s totally understandable but I will always be disappointed in how it was approached. They still could have been humor and jokes without resorting to petty insults. I am glad though that his weight gain did not suddenly disappear. The way the Russo’s went about presenting it was insulting and demeaning but I feel it’s important as well to show that his weight gain wasn’t gonna suddenly disappear now that he’s back to being the mighty Thor.

Bruce was…okay I like Professor Hulk. I think it’s important that Bruce come to terms with his Hulk nature but the point of Hulk is that he’s angry and he unleashes it with smashing and I was just. Expecting more Hulk smash and still that dichotomy even if Bruce has come to terms with being Hulk. The thing I like is that Bruce, who was always scared of his persona as Hulk killing people got to bring back billions of lives as Hulk instead of taking those lives away. Anyway, I had that small beef with Hulk but it wasn’t as much as say against Thor. Bruce’s humor was lighter and not as insulting, it was a refreshing continuation of his Ragnarok/Infinity War characterization.

Speaking of Ragnarok, let’s talk Loki. Loki is my second favorite character and let’s be real, all Loki stans were basically expecting more out of Endgame when it came to this character. I figured he would be in flashbacks but I was hoping still maybe it would be more?? I said before that perhaps Tony breaks Loki out to get the tesseract and I mean, that did kinda happen. But at least we know we have a divergent 2012 timeline and this is probably where the Loki TV show is gonna be set. I’m definitely interested in seeing what happens in that alternate universe but we won’t see that for another two years so, just a big sigh. And also I’ve seen on twitter at least people upset that Thor didn’t talk to Loki when he went back to Asgard. Loki and Thor were at odds and not friends during The Dark World. I don’t think Thor talking to Loki would have done anything important, it wouldn’t have changed anything and it certainly wouldn’t have helped him with his task of getting the Aether from Jane. While it would have been nice to see more Loki when Thor went back to 2013, I think what we did see was the most that could have happened while Thor was also dealing with seeing his mother again.

On the topic of Loki, he seems to like go about as Steve, huh? I thought it was a cute nod to the scene from TDW (I cant remember if it was deleted or not I haven’t seen that movie in years lol) when he shape shifted into Steve to taunt the Avengers. Cheeky Loki is great and so is cheeky Steve. “I could do this all day” and “Yeah, I know, I know.” The Steve vs Steve fight was also really cool. I was surprise he used the mind stone to stop himself though? And I thought it was funny when he said “hail hydra” to get by with the scepter. Now onto Steve’s whole time loop. I am disgruntled but also weirdly okay with how that all ended. I am not anti-Steve in any manner but his MCU characterization is not on my personal top list of Cap storylines. I’ve seen someone say this before and I found I kinda agreed with it. Steve’s progression is becoming more and more selfish when it comes to keeping his family safe while in parallel Tony’s progression is becoming more and more selfless when it comes to keeping his own family safe. Very different takes on how to protect family, but I think it would be wrong to ignore that part of Steve’s story. He will do any and everything to keep Bucky alive at his side, to keep Sam safe, to keep the integrity of the Avengers alive even at the cost of his personal freedom. He wants, no needs, to have his family with him. He will risk damaging relations with everyone else to keep them save. That’s admirable.

That being said, Steve going back in time to be with Peggy is a pathetic conclusion even if I can come to terms with it. In my opinion, Steve is the only Avenger righteous enough to be able to go back to the past to fulfill his own timeline and not do anything about what is coming next. He takes a huge risk in staying back in time to be with Peggy; letting Hydra infiltrate SHIELD is one thing he could not change. No matter what, Thanos is coming. He is inevitable. But Tony is Iron Man, and Tony can only be Iron Man in the first place if he gets kidnapped in Afghanistan. This only happens because of Obadiah’s jealousy and greed, which comes out of Tony becoming CEO of Stark Industries after his parent’s premature deaths. Their premature deaths only happen because Bucky became the Winter Soldier and was brainwashed to kill them. These things have to happen in order for Thanos to be defeated so Steve has to keep these things alive. This also means he has to marry Peggy after he crashed in the ice so there are two Steve’s in the universe, one who is Peggy’s husband and another who is Captain America. He gets the future he always wanted and the superhero story he was born to be a part of. The biggest pieces of bullshit about this storyline is 1) Peggy being used as nothing but someone for Steve to lust over 2) Steve coming back somehow in the end as an old guy. You could sort of explain point 2 by saying old Steve always existed so it’s not actually disrupting the timeline, things are always supposed to be this. You know how in some time travel movies the present/future happens bc someone went back into the past and their actions caused it? Maybe Steve is something like that. I know they explained that it creates a split timeline but if old Steve is always there then it’s not a split timeline it’s just the regular timeline. It still doesn’t explain why old Steve was right there with the Avengers after they sent 2023 Steve to the past. Major plot hole. Also I don’t think him leaving Bucky in 2023 is a plot hole; Bucky has to live his life post being Hydra’s Winter Soldier and without Steve’s shadow over him. It’s gonna be great to see Bucky working with a new Captain America and forming a friendship with Sam.

Side note: I am so pleased about Falcon!Cap that is what I’ve wanted for years in mcu now and it’s here! That is definitely something I am grateful for in all of this. Another thing I liked is Valkyrie becoming the Queen of Asgard and Thor exploring the galaxy with the Guardians. Also Pepper in the Rescue suit, that made me super excited! Seeing all the ladies team up was very fun.

Anyway, on to the last two of the main six Avengers: Clint and Natasha. I think I saw some people upset about Natasha’s death…she was in a very dark place mentally but her sacrifice for her family to live on is just as important as Tony’s. They both exchanged their lives to save the universe and so her death was not pointless at all. It also is a great show of how much Clint loved her, how much he risked to save her and indict her into SHIELD after he was sent to off her all those years ago. As she said in Avengers, they all have blood on their hands, some more than others. This was her way of returning the lives she took just as Tony has done the same by snapping away Thanos’ army at the cost of his life. She was the soul they needed for these three Avengers—Natasha, Bruce, and Tony—who have taken many lives with their own hands if not just obscene amounts of violence, to reverse the Snap and save the universe. Clint can be included actually but since he was Ronin when he was slaying people for revenge I put that separate from when he returned to the Avengers.

MCU Clint isn’t my fave Avenger, both because of Renner and because of his characterization. But Endgame made me like him more, especially in the first five minutes or so as he taught his daughter archery and connected with his family. That was a beautiful opening scene and it wrenched my heart to see his family get dusted away. His dark turn was kinda corny imo I mean, the whole badass punk hipster vibe was funny but I really liked seeing him and Natasha interacting and being friends again. I’m glad he had a sword because while bow and arrow comes in handy, the battle requires close combat and he definitely was gonna get killed if he didn’t have something more than arrows.

Also the quantum realm suits grew on me…they are still ugly but it’s a tolerable ugly now.

AH! important point: Nebula’s storyline! I really liked how she had to literally kill her past self in order to keep herself and her sister alive. That side plot of Nebula battling herself was great and allowed for nice growth of her character and how her past self tried to sabotage her future.

Final point is that I enjoyed the movie for what it is: a beautiful close to the story of the Infinity Saga. It is meant to be a homage to the fans who have seen all the movies, who have followed the MCU for as long as they could. I don’t think this is meant to be for casual viewers, not that you can’t watch casually, but you definitely have to watch knowing what happened before. They don’t introduce Captain Marvel or Antman’s Quantum realm stuff much. It’s probably confusing if you haven’t seen Captain Marvel or the Antman movies. You’re expected to know what came before and I mean, it makes sense. Money making franchise or not, there’s a lot going on in this movie and taking the time to introduce new things over and over is not worth it.

tl;dr: Endgame is the story about end of the two who started the MCU, Tony Stark and Steve Rogers. I think you could even say that Steve stuck by Tony’s side until the end of the line. The two leaders of the Avengers, side by side and trusting each other again to get the job done. That is the Endgame because part of the journey is the end and doing whatever it takes to get there. My final thought (before rewatch because lbr, I will most likely watch again) is that I am very grateful for the chance to love Tony Stark as I have, to love him 3000 and 3000 times more and more. I love you, Tony Stark. You can rest now, my love. The universe is indeed safe in your hands~

#mcu #marvel #endgame #avengers endgame #avengers endgame spoilers #tony stark #iron man #steve rogers #captain america #infinity saga #yams rambles #thor #bruce banner #hulk #natasha romanov #black widow #clint barton #hawkeye #ronin #loki #loki laufeyson #the stark gauntlet dream of mine came true #same with falcon cap and the rescue suit #i love tony stark to the end of the world and beyond

[ravenya003]

Thoughts on How To Train Your Dragon 3

So I saw the third and final How To Train Your Dragon movie. I have no idea why New Zealand (and Australia apparently) got it released so early, as it’s been playing here since the first week of January and apparently it won’t open in America until the end of February – that’s crazy!

However, I wasn’t going to pass up the chance to see it earlier than most, and under the cut are some brief thoughts. There’s nothing overtly spoilery; it’s mostly about tone and character, and a lot of the plot itself can be inferred from the trailers. But just in case:

SPOILERS

It’s a good film, even a great one at times, and a worthy send-off to the franchise.

That said, its biggest problem is one of thematic tone. See, when you have two movies and two shows and a handful of short films revolving around one simple, straightforward, consistent premise – that dragons and Vikings can learn to live in harmony – then it’s pretty damn jarring for the story to take a drastic U-turn into “we must say goodbye to our dragons forever because the world doesn’t deserve them” waters right at the finish line.

Perhaps they could have gotten away with it if there had been better build-up, higher stakes and more justification to this decision, but like I said: many, many hours of viewing have been spent on establishing that humans and dragons are capable of achieving the exact opposite of what Hiccup chooses to do here.

So instead, the whole thing feels rather manipulative. It’s the final movie guys! WE WILL MAKE YOU CRY. The sentiment runs through the film like a crack in a Ming vase.

But apart from that, things are pretty good! I don’t know how or when it happened, but at some point after the second film I became a huge Hiccup/Astrid shipper, and things between the two of them are beautifully done here. They tease each other, they fake!wrestle, they support and listen to each other, they blow shit up together – having just seen Aladdin on stage, I’ve come to realize that all my favourite ships are the ones with little angst and plenty of warmth, fun and communication.

It’s also incredibly beautiful: the hidden world in particularly is just jaw-dropping, and reminded me of the underwater vistas in Aquaman – only somehow more incredible. It’s worth the price of the ticket for this scene alone.

All the gang – Fishlegs, Tuffnut, Ruffnut, Snoutlout and Gobber – get at least one Big Moment apiece, and Kristen Wiig in particular got the biggest laugh with her comedy sequence. However, Valka still holds first place for Coolest Character Design Voiced by Academy Award Winning Actress Who Inexplicably Doesn’t Get To Do Much. (Okay, there is one really nice scene between her and Astrid, but she’s still wasted).

Eret is also… there. Honestly I’d forgotten this character even existed, but now I understand those clips of Kit Harington interacting with Toothless (idiot that I am, I thought it was a Game of Thrones thing).

The Stoick flashbacks were really lovely, tied in nicely with the previous films, and even gave us a little extra insight into the loss of Valka. Plus little Hiccup was adorable – the whole audience was cooing.

I suppose the crux of the film was Toothless and the Light Fury, though honestly – I wasn’t really feeling it. Most of the good scenes were spoiled in the trailers, and there were little surprises in store. She doesn’t get much of a personality besides being shy, coquettish and feminine, at least not until the very end. And given that the backbone of the franchise has always been the bond between Hiccup/Toothless, it felt oddly underplayed here (though that was perhaps the whole point).

Looking back, nothing in this franchise has ever matched the pure exhilaration and magic of Hiccup’s first flight on Toothless in the original movie – but in the final few minutes of this one, it gets pretty close. The scene is pretty much perfect: perfect joy, perfect poignancy, perfect closure. I can’t wait for the high-quality GIFs to arrive, as I’m never going to stop reblogging them. Seriously – it’s truly beautiful stuff.

#how to train your dragon #how to train your dragon spoilers #how to train your dragon the hidden world #rav's watching log

[tumblunni]

Me in the hospital: i cannot sleep for 24 hours, the slightest noise is blaring, i am perpetually anxiety adrenaline

As soon as i get home: has the best sleep of my life

I usually take an hour to get to sleep each night but i totally just curled up like a snail and dropped into dreamland instantly. And i woke up to a nice warm house cos the heating turned on while i was asleep, and now all the anesthetic is completely worn off so i feel energized and great! And my throat pain has eased up so thankfully i wont have to be liquids only for as long as i thought. I was all hyperactive and cooked a great fancy omelette and it tastes like heaven itself! Its so weird how stuff tastes slightly diffetent when its the first time youve been able to chew with the right side of your mouth in five years. I guess the tastebuds on the sides of your tongue are slightly different? When i eat everything now im gonna be rolling it all over my mouth like WOW ITS ALL SO NEW AGAIN! Will probably look nuts in the middle of mcdonalds with my cheeks puffed like a squirrel XD

Oh and this is also a great excuse to drink loads of chocolate milkshakes from my milkshake viking mug! I feel so energized with calcium and yums!! EVERYTHING TASTES SO NEWWWWWWW

Oh man i do feel a bit sleepy again now after just being up for a few hours tho. I have these good jaw pain specific medicines i have to take for the next two weeks til my followup appointment to check if theres any infection left. But man i feel SO ALIVE AGAIN im pretty sure all the rot is gone! It feels so wild having space in my mouth and not constant clenchy tightness. It actually hurts less recovering from the surgery than it did before, lol! I can feel all my teeth moving apart again and loosening up into normality and the gums healing up all their injuries and oh god i just love how they cleaned out all the broken parts of my teeth and capped them with these great replacements that look so real you'd never be able to tell! My smile looks not ugly!! My smile looks not ugly!! Aaaaa! I just expected regaining the right side of my mouth, i didbt expect to e like "holy shit it must have hurt even more than i realized cos this feels so amazing now". Like i guess i got used to putting up with it and forgot how it felt to not have painmouth? Underestimated how good a teeth can be! And man i never asked for reconstructive cosmetic stuff too but they did these caps and aaa my teeth never looked his good even when they were new!! My front teeth were always crooked even before they did the weird balogna slam together and shattered into a pile of crap. And now they look like perfect supermodel teeth!! The only side effect is that its a lil hard to get used to the lack of gaps between them now after so long dealing with the shattered mess. My tongue keeps being like "oh no did something get stuck in the gaps again oh wait there arent any" and then i subconsciously try to clean them after taking every bite and just bite my tongue instead. Man i never noticed i picked up a bunch of weird mannerismd cos of tje bad teeth! I was constantly paranoidly checking my mouth 24/7 in case the slightest thing made it even worse, and eating super gently so that nothing accidentally touched the Wrong Tooth and set off a jolt of pain. And i actually needed to get a filling put in on the leftmost back tooth that was the ONLY TOOTH I COULD USE TO EAT WITHOUT PAIN for all this time! Overuse of it meant that it got ground down a little and probably would have become painful too if i'd left it any longer. Then i really would have been all soups all the time and that sucks!! Soups are good but nothing but then gives u stomach issues. The bad poops!!

Man sorry im rambling so much im just so hyper and happy and also still kinda dopily sleepy! Im not still delirious or anything i just feel the happy kind of sleepy where the anesthetic is all gone and its not "oh god i cant stay awake" and more natural sleepyness of a long day being over and everything being okay. I had such a good long nap and i feel well rested after getting so little sleep beforehand due to all the dumb anxiety. And i still feel dozey but happy doze~

Anyway its awesometo be able to really chug and crunch a foods! With the other side of my mouth i forgot about! And taste milkshake to its fullest extent!! Oh and whats weird is that the reconstructive surgery capping on my front teeth means that theyre kinda one tooth now? The caps are all linked in a single piece to fill the gaps fully without even the natural ones you'd have on healthy teeth. So its like a solid tooth guard just sculpted to look like three teeth. Itll be tricky to train myself out of thts subconcious rubbing the gaps with my tongue when theyre not even there. But i expect once i get over the unfamiliarity this triple cap will be really useful! Theyre totes reinforced so that even if i do get tight mouth problems again and the front teeth take the brunt of the pressure, now theres no gaps to smash into each other and become a painful mess. Its like scaffolding reinforcing my whole mouth by fixing the loadbearing beam, or something.

Oh also these pain meds make u a little bit more sleepy than normal paracetamol so i'll probably doze off again soon. But hopefully i will have slept off most of the "healing debt exhaustion" tomorrow and will be able to go walk down the shops and buy some icecream and other soft food. I mostly stocked up on purely liquid food cos i tjought my mouth function would be more limited. But honestly the teeth are working so much better than before, they were already so swollen and painful that i couldnt crunch stuff! Now the mild discomfort of mid-healing from surgery feels like barely anything and i bet i could bite thru a goddamn rock right now! I just cant really swallow crunchy stuff or stuff thats too salty or citrusy. I didnt even know about the stabbity throat pipe so i didnt expect it to be the most painful part that takes the longest to heal. It feels so weird cos i keep coughing like my brain thinks theres phelgm stuck in my throat when its actually a skin flap/blister from the insertion. So obviously that aint going anywhere and i have to try and force myself not to cough or swallow or else i set off this cjain of "must get thing out of throat must puke" reflex. And the pain feels like a sore throat but it isnt?? Its not really inflamed ot anything its just an actual friction burn on the opening of my airway. Which is not a common occurance so the brain is justvlike "what the fuck is happening, must send all contradicting signals at once!" So sore throat medicine wont work cos that goes down your throat passage to your stomach when really this lil skin tag blister thing is in the lung throat opening thing. And sucking on throat sweets made it worse cos all the muscles were really tense around the area where the tube was inserted, hence why it was hard to swallow food even tho it was my windpipe that hurt. And sucking on something is kinda like perpetually swallowing nothing, when you think about it? Im glad that the muscle tenseness is mostly gone now and the painkillers are helping with the ouch, and my brainis getting usedto not coughing and making it worse. But still should eat soft easily swallowable stuff for a lil while and it'll be fun to go aroundthe shops with my last pocketful of change and find neat ingredients to stick in omelettes. Im so excited to taste all my favourite things in new HD functional mouth power!!! And i can smile at the shopkeeper!!!

And oh man i really do think that my sleeping problems with stiff neck and that kind of 'bloodrush to the head' migraine were indeed part of the bad wisdom teeth bleeding internally under the gum. I thought it had to be that cos nothing else in my life changed around that time aside from getting a better and healthier bed which should have been beneficial to my neck. And even going back to sleepong on the floor like before didnt make a difference so it definately wasnt the bed! And it kept getting worse while nothing was changing, and i kept trying different things like changing my pillows and headphones and cutting caffeine out of my diet and eating more salt and eating less salt and fuckin ANYTHING ELSE cos i knew if it really was the dumb tooth being infected then there was nothong i could do about it til my surgery day arrived. Itd be such a relief to know for sure that it was indeed the tooth and now that nonsense is gonna be gone forever! But also thats really worrying to know that it was getting so bad it could have spread an infection to my jawbone and the top of my spine if itd been left much longer. I kept sneezing up blood lumps like the size of a fifty pence piece! Had never had nosebleeds for a decade and now suddenly all the time! God it feels so good to be able to lay my head down and not feel all woozy and tense im the forehead or neck. I really hope this good neck untenseness continues and the awful aches really were just the tooth. But everyone in the hospital was so nice that i think even if i do need a second surgery to check for jaw infection then id be able to be less nervoud than i was this time

Man do u ever get that thing where youre so peaceful and contented that like you can breathe easier? Like subconciously taking bigger breaths and the middle of your chest feels slightly puffed out and warm. I guess thats what the "heart leaping in yout chest" idiom is meant to refer to, lol! Or maybe i can just literally breathe easier cos the tooth pain might have been passing into my nasal cavity too, lol. My entire head feels so less tense!! Its like all my bones were rebelling against me and now they're at peace again!! Man i feel so giddy happy like i chugged a giant energy drink or something but its the opposite its a good sleeps drink XD

So im gonna go lie down again and have a relax and watch a movie or something and see if i pass out when the medicine kicks in, or if its not too bad and i can still continue my hyper mood. But my nap was so long that its too late to go to the shops now anyway so i'll just make more plain omelette and milkshake if i get hungry. I mean it doesnt taste plain when all my sense of taste is so amplified likethis! I dont mind if its all i can eat all week. PURE MILKSHAKEY DECADENCE

Aaaaa im just so happy!! I missed my chance to get the new. Kingdlm hearts but ive beenwaiting fkr this surgery for ages too and it feels like just as much of an exciting relief!