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wickedpact · 3 years

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A ranking of all the TTT stories in order of how much I liked them.

(Oh god this is so long)

1 My Mother's Axe

BABY ANDYYYYYYYYYYYY. Honestly this one had the trifecta of developing a character's motivations, developing a character's backstory, & developing their personality. The story starting out with Andy teaching Nile to use the axe was so charming and fun, and you could feel that chemistry they had in Opening Fire, the way they teased and bickered with each other so naturally. I loved the wedge between them on the subject of the axe, how Nile was perhaps a little too young to understand Andy's feelings about whether or not its the 'same' axe. I also love how the axe is obviously the symbol of the franchise and hugely important, but you never get a sense of exactly how important it is to Andy until you read the story.

I love the entire Ship of Theseus theme, and how it feels so natural that for Andy she has to get attached to the idea of things rather than the things themselves because she'll always outlive the things themselves-- the axe is symbolically her mom's axe, even if physically it isn't. And I love how she clearly clings to that concept so tightly. "This is the labrys she held in her hands...." IT GETS ME.

And the fact that this sense of BELONGING, of FAMILY, of CULTURE is so important to Andy that she clings to it (figuratively and literally) with both hands. And of course it's important to her, she spent so long alone that the woman doesn't even remember her birth name. That axe (or the idea of that axe) is all she has left of her mother and that family/culture she was born into.

PLUS on that note I love how Andy doesn't remember if her mom was her actual biological mother, but it doesn't matter to her. This woman was her mother in all the ways that counted. And how her mom BETRAYED AND KILLED Andy but Andy loved her so much that she avenged her and carried her axe for thousands of years. THOUSANDS OF YEARS!!!!!!

I also loved how the story transcends the timeline of the whole franchise and seeing Andy through the years. Loved seeing her with the varying squads and with varying axes. Also baby Andy was so cute. It was cool seeing her so young. like holy fuck. Andromache The Scythian, Immortal Warrior (but smol). Love that.

Also I think this one is one of the few ttt stories that doesn't suffer from length problems.

tldr: goddammit greg you've done it again.

2 Zanzibar and Other Harbors

Zanzibar my beloved. I've said before, but it's downright comedic how little regard there was for Joe and Nicky's character designs in this story. The same person who does the colors for the regular comic did the colors for this one too, and you can tell, every panel of this story was Beautiful.

Ik there was A Lot of criticism of this one (lmao @ how the fandom had no idea what was to come) but I thought a lot of The Discourse was a bit dramatic. I did think Nicky came off as a little oblivious to Joe's feelings in this story, but I've said before, I honestly think that was a 'tone not translating' thing. It felt like Nicky was nagging Joe for [checks notes] saving innocent people, but Joe was so amused by Nicky's complaints I really do think it was supposed to come off as teasing.

Plus I know the 'Joe running off into danger and Nicky reluctantly following' dynamic wasn't popular (I'm a pretty meh on it meself) but I did love how Joe's impulsiveness (if you want to call it that) was interpreted as heroism and not hot-hotheadedness. All of the examples Nicky and Joe talked about included Joe explicitly saving people. (and it also took A Lot for the nazi to actually provoke Joe).

I also feel like their characterization here was closest to the movie canon-- the bit where they hear the woman scream and Joe goes running in to save her while Nicky swoops in on Joe's heels to comfort her while Joe and the nazi were fighting reminds me of the train car scene. Joe had suggested First that they go find Nile because she needed to be protected, and Nicky later added that Nile probably also needed emotional support. Similar reactions.

But it was So Good, the themes of queer community and the enduring nature of queer culture are Not themes you see in media that often and it was such a delight how it was done. Also it's one of the few more modern TTT stories that has a completely valid excuse for taking place when it did. Chef's kiss.

3 Passchendaele

I love the Duality between seeing baby Andy and then seeing Mama Andy in the very next issue. This story doesn't have a ton of meat to it, but the entire concept of Andy adopting a war orphan straight off the battlefield PLUCKS MY TENDER LITTLE HEARTSTRINGS, and I think it's especially poignant for comic!Andy. I think most people wouldn't think twice about movie!Andy doing something like that but comic Andy is so hardened and almost cruel sometimes, and seeing that even for her the world hasn't beaten all of the compassion from her yet is SO!!!!!!! this woman contains MULTITUDES okay, she's violent and angry and tired and Done but she's also so kind and compassionate and THE STRENGTH OF HER!!!!! Also the idea of her and Yitzhak co-raising a kid together is so damn cute. It was #mysterious pre-Yitzhak-story but now it's cute. holy fuck. It's cute.

& the headbonk panel of her and Zeus lives in my heart. anyways.

4 Many Happy Returns

I Know people weren't thrilled about Booker being in this one, but I've developed a pet-peeve about that: this story was *not* booker-centric. Booker only exists in this story to the extent required to explain the importance of the gesture Nile makes towards him. If there was a story about Booker making some grand gesture of kindness to Nile no one would be saying it was Nile-centric. bc it wouldn't be! Booker exists in this story to explore Nile's kindness, its not about him. I saw that a couple times and it bothered me. anyways.

AAAAAAAAAA I loved this one, the art was beautiful, I loved how Andy Nile and Booker were drawn (like their comic selves but.. more looking like actual people). I loved Andy and Nile's Bants, how Andy wanted to jump right in and Do Violence but Nile was basically telling her to hold her horses.

I feel like I'm just repeating the post I made on this story a few days ago, but I LOVED how Nile's plan revolves not around violence or Cool Mercenary Skills but on Nile's own life skills (as she canonly did a lot of minimum wage job-hopping before the marines in comics canon). Her plan used her skills, not the skills of an immortal warrior, and HER SKILLS were in fact more useful for the situation! lov to see Nile's resourcefulness and planning skills.

AND HOW NILE WAS PROBABLY WATCHING BOOKER??? it's so Much bc 1.) nile knew booker A SINGLE DAY and yet he made such an impression on her emotionally that she had to keep an eye on him and 2.) she said in the movie she wanted Booker to get off free with an apology. Yes she's a member of the team but that doesn't mean she's necessarily going to follow orders like a good little soldier. I also love how she convinced Andy to go along with it. her HEART, her KINDNESS, her THOUGHTFULNESS, UGH.

5 The Bear

Honestly I have like no negative things to say about this one other than a.) character design issues which is less about the story itself and is more of a 'tog comic in general' criticism and b.) too short, but it was supposed to be a tease, so.

But I loved Yitzhak, I wasn't expecting to really like him at all but like I said in my other post, he tickled me. I love characters who are Kind™, especially if they have little reason to be so given their backgrounds. Chef's kiss. Lov him.

6 Bonsai Shokunin

I know this one was a little controversial bc of the outsider POV but whenever I see people upset about that they never point out that the Outsider Guy (the samurai) existed as a reflection on Noriko. His ideas are explained in the text to develop hers. The whole story follows how she gave mercy to a scared young man and in response he murdered Noriko, repeatedly! Who gave him the right to inflict such pain and suffering on the world? In his opinion, the lack of response from the gods was his permission. And for Noriko-- over and over again she dies and suffers because she gave mercy, which lines up with her ideas in FM about how it's their fate to rule mortals and if they don't align with that plan/fate/whatever then they suffer. It shows some background to those ideas and how they developed in her mind outside of Ocean Madness™. Additionally, his idea of 'the Gods have done nothing to strike me down so it's fine if I do these things' kind of explains how Noriko may justify her own morally corrupt actions-- she's died so many times and it's never stuck. Maybe if she did die any of those times, or while she was in the water, maybe that would've been a sign she was doing something right, or at least doing something normal. But she hasn't died. Fate isn't done with Noriko yet. And maybe there's a reason for that. In her mind, it's just not a very pleasant reason, is all.

There were things I was kind of meh about tho. I did kind of wish we saw something of Noriko and the team, or smth explaining the way she was before her dip in the pool-- personality, likes dislikes, etc. but it wasn't bad or anything. It was super vague tho, I had to read it a few times before I got what it was going for. Liked the art. Liked the bonsai metaphor. And of course I Respect the decision to use the 1300s (1200s? I don't remember off the top of my head) rather than using the last 200 years.

7 Strong Medicine

Honestly looking back, this one made me kind of sad because both this one and Bonsai Shokunin explored character's ideas on Fate and The Divine and how that intersects with immortality and I totally thought that theme would be continued, especially with Love Letters. But Then It Wasn't™.

Admittedly.... I had to re-read this one to remember most of it. I liked Booker's ideas on God, 'The conductor of the symphony just may not be very good at his trade' but the plot itself was kind of forgettable. Some fuckin cowboys try to kill a doctor (their second) because he couldn't save their sickly brother. Book tries to stop them, gets killed, and then comes back and kills them all before they get the doctor. Alright. I liked the artstyle because the characters were ugly in a similar way that leandro's are, but way more bearable.

I love the Irony of Booker concluding that there is no such thing as fate or destiny and nothing has meaning, AS HE UNKNOWINGLY SAVES MERRICK'S GRANDFATHER FROM BEING KILLED. Booker getting fucked over by life/god/destiny yet again. It also kind of explains about where the fuck hell Merrick's interest in immortal mercenaries even came from.

I originally had this one a lot higher and then I thought about it and moved it down like two spots.

8 Never Gets Old

I liked seeing Booker interact with his kid. And we got a name for the kid! Philippe was a little bitch though, he was a little obnoxious. I liked how Booker was so thrilled to experience a restaurant with his kid (and since we know he was there before, it can be assumed he went with all of his kids and yet he was so charmed each time). It fits with his line to Nicky in the moon landing story about how you don't appreciate beautiful things 'unless you have someone to share them with'. It was charming to see Booker interact with his kid, and to see him so happy. Also lmao @ Booker's big fat Ye Olde Crush on Andy.

However at the same time it was like.. of all the things to write about,,, I guess? Booker's Night Out...... alright. Especially since Book had so many stories.

I don't know, it was alright. The old man killing him really came out of nowhere, (but the 'Salut, asshole!' panel was funny tho).

9 How To Make a Ghost Town

I've hit a point where talking about these stories has gotten less fun. I liked this one but I felt like Achilles getting lynched was not really necessary for a story that was already tragic (a story that already involved Achilles doing a lot of suffering at the hand of bigots). When we first got the blurb for this story I thought it would be about Andy returning to the squad and making friends with Booker after losing Achilles and them butting heads on the idea of family and when to cut off ties. So a little bit of my underwhelmedness about this one might be just my expectations being different.

Honestly I was pretty interested in Andy and Achilles' relationship and I would've liked to see more of them-- like, what was their dynamic like? What did they love about each other?

But anyways Andy leaving and Achilles getting killed anyways feels so pointlessly tragic (which I suppose is the point..... I don't like tragedies) she left to save him and yet people killed him anyway. Meh.

I did love the bits about Andy wanting to have a domestic life (Andy and her multitudes again) and the little detail about how she buried her axe near the road but he buried his guns under his bed-- he was an escaped slave, he never had the luxury of assuredness like Andy did. It was a sad story.

10 Lacus Solitudinis

'You put this one above love letters crim??? how could you???' easy, lmao.

There was stuff in this one I liked. But to talk about stuff I didn't like: (I'll keep it brief, I know ragging on this story has been done time and time again)

UH, setting aside the 6 year cold shoulder between Joe and Nicky, I thought their chosen method of conflict resolution was... bad at best. Nicky's inability to talk about his feelings was also annoying, especially since the entire point of this story is a fight Joe and Nicky had, and yet we don't get both sides to the story, which is...... important? That fact is especially annoying bc in the absence of Nicky explaining his side of the story, it's absolutely a possible (and admittedly probably unintentional) interpretation of the text that we do get that Joe routinely resolves conflict between him and Nicky by simply cutting Nicky out of his life entirely until Nicky just. caves? Even if it takes years?

WHICH i could get into that interpretation and how fucked up i find it. but im not going to. out of restraint.

I don't know, I think there are a lot of interesting ways to go about this conflict but 'Nicky wants to kill a guy and Joe refuses to acknowledge his existence until he stops because he thinks Nicky is too much of a Good Boy to get his hands dirty like that' ('I wont watch as the world turns his (...) compassion into something ugly'. ) wasn't.. how I would've done it. (I mean you know Joe doesn't give a shit about what Nicky is doing in a moral way, because Joe doesn't even care or mention that Booker is killing those cops too. Joe only cares because he doesn't like the idea of Nicky changing in a way he finds undesirable.)

admittedly I've said before, I do like the emphasis Joe's reaction puts on Nicky's kindness. Joe has a complete inability to cope with Nicky simply Not Being Kind. It speaks to the steadiness of Nicky's compassion all those years. but still that fact doesn't make it the conflict feel worth it

hm. I said I would be brief and I wasn't.

oh well. basically I thought there was interesting conflict potential there but it wasn't done the way I would've liked, and the way it was done leaves a lot of disturbing (and again probably unintended) interpretations to lie.

What I did like? Andy and Joe having that pessimist/optimist dynamic. Joe nerding out about science. Andy not being impressed by The Achievements Of Man. I loved Booker needling at Nicky about his outdated slang and also trying to give him Older Brother advice practically in the same breath. I loved Booker giving The Worst relationship advice ever and Nicky being like 'I Will Not Do That, Ever, Thanks.' the family vibes were so good. The Joenicky vibes left a lot to be desired tho.

11 Love Letters

I talked about my problems with Nicky in this story (and Lacus Solitudinis). I don't know, the story isn't bad but I do hold a little bit of a grudge towards it because its very existence begs the existence of a solo Joe story and we didn't get one. If we never got this story, then we could happily count Lacus Solitudinis and Zanzibar as The Joenicky Stories™ and move on with our lives. sigh.

I remember when we first got the blurb for this story I was really curious about why Nicky specifically + the setting, and the answer kind of feels like 'the author had an idea for a story like this and saw ttt as a good enough place to utilize that idea'. Plus I was really underwhelmed by the Romantic Sentiment in the letter. If you look at it line-by-line, the majority of the letter is actually Nicky talking about how lonely and disturbed he is, rather than actual,, yknow,,, Romantic Sentiment. I mean, compare the van speech and this letter and this letter is just kind of meh in comparison. I liked nicky calling joe wise! and I liked the brief sun/moon metaphor! and otherwise it was eh. It didn't even have cute squad banter, which is why Lacus Solitudinis is above this one.

12 An Old Soul

Nun orgy. Nun orgy?????? Nun orgy.......

The whole story felt like a setup to have a nun orgy. Why did Booker have abs? Why did they do that to Andy's nose? ?????? the art was good at least.

nun orgy.

#tales through time spoilers #obviously #long post #seriously dont open that read more unless youre committed to scrolling past all these Words

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junkworldusa · 3 years

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belated book asks, thank you for indulging me!

1- What book are you currently reading? bros karamazov, 2/3s through atm.

i hate that i’m thinking about pathologic (video game) the entire time but i can't help it. the way characters are constantly bursting into people's houses & going "you’re an angel, you're the best person i've ever met, you're a saint" to someone they just met 5 minutes ago is so. distinct. i joked on twitter that the first half of the book is just alyosha running around completing sidequests, which i still think is true, but once i got to the grand inquisitor part i was like "Okay mr dostoevsky, you’ve got me."

2- What book did you recently finish? "selections from science & sanity" by alfred korzybski, recently featured in the gumby quotes. a while back i listened to a 6 hour long interview with robert anton wilson where he talks about korzybski & general semantics so i gave it a shot. it's an abridged version of a 900 page book & i definitely plan on reading the full work at some point, it's wild. if you’re interested in language, consciousness, the gap between words & meaning, and/or hacking your brain i would recommend it. he repeats himself a lot but that's a side effect of his pedagogy, the goal of which is the eventual re-wiring of your entire nervous system in order to achieve a more rational worldview/healthier reactions to things. (so repetition via words/sounds/actions is necessary 2 engage the organism-as-a-whole.) the most important takeaway for me is that everything & everyone you interact with is a completely unique object, and this necessarily extends to temporality-- Bob in 1999 is NOT the same person as Bob in 2010, and treating them as though they were is a harmful mistake. interestingly enough, im taking a class with J.F. martel (weird studies podcast, author of "reclaiming art in the age of artifice") & last night he said what amounts to exactly the same thing, except he was arguing for like, a soft animism (i-thou vs. i- it) & korzybski was arguing for a more "rational" & secular world. so fascinating.

3- What’s a book that’s been on your to-read list for a long time? ulysses. i know. i know. i have a copy but keep bouncing off of it. idk why, i liked portrait of the artist as a young man. i think i’m worried i’ll turn into this person:

4- What’s the next book you’re hoping to read? i just got "speech play: research & resources for the study of linguistic creativity" in the mail so probably that. i'm on a childlore kick rn & this is like... horizontally related 5- Is there a book you own, but aren’t planning on reading?

around 2 years ago i was walking home after a show high on E & i ran into a guy i had met at work a couple times. went over to his apartment because MDMA is like, "everything is SO meaningful and SO much fun." i barely remember our conversation but he ended up being like "you would like this book, here take it, i have 3 copies." so i now own a copy of "the eater of darkness" by robert m coates. i still haven't read it. the moral of this story is [???]

6- What was your favorite series as a kid? Would you still read it now? so many of you asked this question :P

THE TRUTH: i was obsessed with lotr from age 8 to 13 with a level of dedication that i've never known since. yes, i would still read it now. i reread the silmarillion last year & it was naturally a way more rewarding experience than when i was a kid! 8- Fantasy or sci-fi? i like & have read a lot of older sf/f (le guin asimov pkd etc etc) but im not actively into either nowadays. i read whatever reaches me from the queer sf/f twitter pipeline (like whatever's on wizards vs lesbians) but otherwise dont pay much attention. so the answer is "idk!!!”

12- Have you ever read a celebrity memoir? If so, whose was it? the only memoir i've read in recent years has been "memories, dreams, reflections" so if jung counts as a celebrity, there you go 14- Fiction or non-fiction? non-fiction in both quantity of books owned & what i prefer reading. i almost view them as 2 separate activities bc the motivation for & experience of reading them are so wildly different 15- Favorite fiction genre? i know i said im not "actively into" sci fi but 16- Favorite non-fiction genre? "philosophy" i guess. i also really love any phenomenological/experience-based studies of paranormal stuff, like "the terror that comes in the night" by david hufford or anything by jacques vallée. basically books that both a) take strange experiences seriously & b) examine/catalogue them scientifically (to whatever degree).

22- How do you organize your books? “poorly” 26- What’s your favorite book? fav non-fiction book: “time loops” by eric wargo. what if freud's career-making "irma dream" was a premonitory dream about the oral cancer that would severely impede his quality of life in his old age? (fantastic blog entry by the author, serves as a kind of intro to this topic: http://thenightshirt.com/?p=4326 )

when i read “time loops” it felt like everything i had ever read (& will ever read future tense) was for the sole purpose of understanding it. “time loops” picks up where J.W. dunne's 1927 "an experiment with time" left off. i won't say too much more about it but everyone should read it. it's so smart & engaging & will totally blow your miiiind, maaaan speaking of "an experiment with time," in 1964 a guy named vladimir nabokov began an experiment of his own following the directions dunne laid out in his book. dunne encouraged readers to write down their dreams in order to test the theory that a later event could generate an earlier dream.

nabokov’s experiment with dreams & time strongly influenced “ada or ardor: a family chronicle” which happens to be my favorite novel. i first read it when i was 18, and i've reread it 3 times since then (with the help of ada online, my beloved http://www.ada.auckland.ac.nz/ ) i would not recommend this book to anyone who doesn’t already like nabokov & know what he’s about. it’s fucked up & self indulgent & i love it so much

30- What character do you connect with the most? when jung said he was bad at math? i felt that

#asks

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bryanlyon · 3 years

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Thoughts on Adastra

Disclaimers:

1. This is going to have spoilers for the entirety of Adastra, as well as marked spoilers for Echo and The Smoke Room. Not sure why you'd read an Adastra analysis if you haven't read Adastra, so this shouldn't be a deal breaker.

2. I'm not gonna do that weird bullshit people do in analysis where they just summarize the entire plot. Again, the audience of this analysis is people who have read Adastra, so a summary doesn't add anything.

"Ad astra" is a Latin phrase meaning "to the stars". Sometimes it was used literally, to mean something going up or even potentially going into space, and sometimes it was used metaphorically to mean something going to greatness. It's either a beautiful coincidence or a genius move by Howly, writer of Adastra, that the most common English phrase with "to the stars" is "I love you to the stars and back", whereas Latin phrases are mostly used in modern day by neo-nazis.

Intentional or not this reflects the main thing Adastra is about: a character who has been taught not to love trying to become better, and a society that is deeply ingrained in fascism trying to become better. Focus is also placed on the way these two things relate to each other: an Amicus who becomes increasingly loving and open is more capable of making a more progressive and free society, and a more progressive and free society enables characters to become more open and loving.

This is demonstrated well by the differences and similarities between Amicus and Cassius with their pets. Both of them have a pet who is a sibling or sibling level intelligence, but Cassius, constantly needing to perform strength to build towards a fascist state, has a strained, abusive, master/slave relationship with his pet. Amicus has the opposite kind of relationship. In line with his progressive ideals for the world, Amicus tries as best as he can within their system to treat Marco like an equal, and even gives Marco choices and requires his consent to do anything with him (SIDENOTE 1).

In this way Adastra is very comparable to The Wall by Pink Floyd to me. We see the way the political and personal affect each other, and one side is clearly presented as the better option (in both cases, a more progressive and liberal society, and a more caring and open personal life). Where Adastra stands head and shoulders above something like The Wall is in the additional commentary on society it gives while saying this.

Adastra does something I greatly appreciate in art: extremely not subtle metaphors and symbolism. The siblings have a rivalry between each other because each of them wants to impress the parents more than the others. One of the key methods they use to do this is having children, which they see not as people, but as workers and status symbols to impress their parents and outdo the other siblings. Eventually one of the siblings realize that their goal never should have been to impress the parents, but to better themselves. After realizing this they begin to cooperate with the other siblings, treat the children like people, and urge the other siblings to do the same. This is all so on-the-nose that I don't think it needs any explanation.

What might need explanation is the Other. If it weren't for the stylization of always capitalizing Other I'd think it was a coincidence. Because they stylized it like that, I can say with certainty this is a reference to Hegelian philosophy. In Hegelian philosophy the Other is a part of the Other-Self dialectic. The Other is things outside of ourselves and the Self is things within ourselves. The dialectic is the process by which we integrate things outside of ourselves to become better people.

Where I'm almost certain Howly is familiar with the concept from is pop-philosopher Slavoj Zizek. Zizek argued that this concept should be applied on a societal level when it comes to diversity. He says that where conservatives are at fault is that they don't want to integrate the Other at all, and where liberals are at fault is that they remove the Other from its Otherness (that is, they want people who are different to lose the parts of themselves that make them different in the first place).

Adastra's supernatural entity called The Other is treated by societies the same way the Hegellian Other is treated by them. The Khemians have been learning about The Other and how their society can adapt for it for a long time, whereas Adastrans don't even consider The Other until Amicus becomes emperor.

I can't say much more about this theme until we're further into the sequels, as what The Other is and what it does is yet to be seen, but stay tuned for that!

Lastly, I don't think it can or should be ignored that Adastra presents itself as a porn game. The game has several illustrated sex scenes, the main initial draw of the game is Amicus' fat cock, and everyone I know who played the game found it initially because they saw Haps' porn account on Twitter and thought his art was really good. There's nothing wrong with this! It's totally in line with the game's themes that the game itself is totally aware that, to some degree, it's a porn game, but it also tries to be much more than just a porn game.

Adastra can't be removed from its origins in the furry subculture. The furry subculture is an oft ridiculed and looked down upon loose group of people who are largely queer, largely counter-culture, largely ultra-progressive, and who like talking animals. If you know anything about furries, you know that they make a lot of porn of their talking animal characters.

Ordinary people ridicule furry porn often for being very weird (it is), but I think it's also a cool and important part of our culture. A whole subculture of traumatized, queer, arrested development people use the medium of furry porn as a type of escape from that life. This is largely because in furry porn the sexual fantasies of gay mentally ill manchildren are realized in a grand and superb way.

Adastra isn't alone in integrating its sex into its storytelling, and I actually think The Smoke Room and Echo both do it better.

ECHO AND TSR SPOILERS

With Echo we see this in Flynn using hypersexuality as a coping mechanism, Leo's exhibitionism acting as his only escape from his otherwise lonely and closed off life, and the shame that Carl and TJ carry due to their sexualities. The Smoke Room goes even further in using sexuality with its character development. Murdoch has no control over his day to day life, so he sees pleasing other men sexually as a way he can have control over others, the irony of this being that his most frequent sexual partner is one he only has sex with because he's externally coerced into it. William's character arc arguably centers around the fact that he's terrible at sex and refuses to do anything to make his partners happy at the risk that that would make him gay.

END OF ECHO AND TSR SPOILERS

In Adastra, Amicus hilariously declares that "emperors don't put things in their ass", and a major part of his growth as a character is that he gets over himself to such an extent that he eventually offers, reluctantly nonetheless, to bottom for Marco. Using sex as an integral part of the storytelling shows how Howly has integrated the Otherness of furry porn with the Self of writing a damn good somewhat traditional story. Integrating these two usually clashing things isn't weird or a problem for Adastra, it's something that should be celebrated. It should be celebrated that Adastra both made me want to see how Amicus can retake his rightful place as emperor and better the world around him while also making me want to see how much Amicus cums from a prostate orgasm.

It might go without saying since I wrote this much, but I think Adastra is really fucking amazing. It's cheesey as all hell, tacky, and littered with plot holes, but if you're going into a furry porn game looking for plot holes you aren't outsmarting the game, it's outsmarting you. Amicus is a surprisingly deep and likable character, the plot kept me engaged, and for God knows what reason Howly put in the work to make the game smart as hell and deep as fuck.

It could be argued that Amicus was not treating Marco like this because of his ideals but because of his self-perception. After Marco learns Amicus is gay Amicus cowers and asks if Marco is disgusted with him now. Given that the power dynamics of sexuality are so strong on Adastra that they make a 7 foot tall wolf emperor cower to a twink slave, it stands to reason that Amicus might have just not forced himself upon Marco because he was afraid of a slave being able to leverage his sexuality against him. Further, it could be the case that Amicus wanted to treat Marco as an equal because after being humiliated for his sexuality as a teenager he no longer felt as though he could have complete control over other people the way that other wolf royalty do. I think this is all not just plausible, but true. I think these, in addition to Amicus' ideals, contributed to the way he treated Marco.

#adastra #echoproject

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notsafeforbinary · 3 years

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Relevant info

About me

Rill (not my real name, just a word I like the sound of)

transfem enby (they/them)

queer/bi lesbian/idk everyone is hot, i’m a lesbian kinda in the same way i’m not a woman but not not a woman or that i’m t4t but with rare exceptions, for instance i’ve been known to go for the occasional cis woman or trans guy and a grand total of 1 (one) cis man, idk sexuality is weird.

Polyamorous

pre-hrt, maybe hoping to make some money off this at some point to help with that but not anytime soon (and even then I’d probably give it to people free if they’re nice)

About me part 2 (TL;DR: I’m aro, autistic, and ADHD)

I’m aromantic. If you want to have a long discussion about my boundaries I’m totally open to that and in fact would love to have it, but until someone asks or I get around to making a post please just don’t talk about romance happening to me (gestures/actions/lifestyle things typically seen as romantic are fine with the exception of kissing on the mouth, that’s a no unless we’ve talked and I’ve said otherwise). Anyone spouting bullshit about sex without romance being immoral or about me not being able to be a decent human being because I’m aroallo will incur my wrath (nah i’m just gonna block you and move on lol).

I’m autistic and have ADHD, I’m already awkward as it is with nonsexual interactions and adding in societal taboos around sex can make it quite difficult for me to communicate. I will very often not pick up on hints and frequently will drop them by mistake or when trying to drop hints I may not get the message across. I won’t be offended if you say something explicitly to me that’s generally supposed to be said implicitly. I do have rsd so try to keep that in mind but if you’re a decent human being that shouldn’t be a problem too often. Also if I’m making you uncomfortable, please just tell me straight-up. I try to err on the side of caution but I’m only human. What a neurotypical person might see as a clear request to stop I might be confused by, if we’re being horny at each other I do try to make an effort to check in whenever anything changes or just periodically to make sure you’re doing okay but if I’m making you uncomfortable don’t wait for that. Hurting you is the last thing I want to do.

Kinks (vaguely in reverse order of intensity)

cnc, watersports, degradation, somno, bondage, anything involving body fluids unique to sex, exhibitionism (only when everyone involved is consenting, which usually just means fucking in the middle of nowhere in some woods or smth)

I don’t really consider pet play or praise kinks because they’re not really associated with sex for me, though I do like them and I’m not gonna be horribly turned off if you praise me.

Tagging system

All pictures of me are #me

Currently no other things are being tagged, if you need or want something tagged let me know

DNI

Any sort of bigots/exclusionists (you know who you are), pedos, minors (or people without ages in bio), conservatives/fash, chasers

Miscellaneous

Totally cool with people sending me pictures or asking for them but say something first and I reserve the right to refuse

I love both horny and non-horny messages

Horny asks (anon or not) are encouraged

This is mostly a horny blog in theory but it turns into random stuff about being queer or things that feel too nsfw for my main even if they’re not horny or really good posts i feel like sharing sometimes so yeah

As of relatively recently i’ve become more horny on main but i’m still keeping nudity here because irl friends follow that acc, if ppl want my main acc i’ll prob give it to you if you dm me asking.

#intro post

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feiquacker · 3 years

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I genuinely don't get why people say that Sokka and Zuko are gay and Katara is a token straight. Toph is a lesbeen and Aang is pan; I have seen people be like: "Zuko is gay; Sokka is gay; Toph is gay" and I have nothing against it, but could you please consider the fact that Sukka is a better ship than Zukka (in my oppinion!!!) and that it is canon, stripping Suki out of Sokka's life leaves us with a sexist bitch and Maiko did happen, they were in love and probability still are; (it does not mean I don't respect your fave ship though; be gay do crime)

I headcanon Sokka as bi because he is very feminine and he is amazing and gentle and he just gives me that vibe, but I think he preferes girl more since he did in fact communicate with girls only and had like 3gf (Yue, Suki and the girl from Toph's metalbenders who isn't really a girlfriend but a kid lmao)

Let me stay with the water siblings: Katara. I generally think that saying she is a token straight is like saying she is firenation. (cs it's the opposite) Katara falls in love with Aang because of how cute and childish and nice he is. She loves him cs he is wise and cs he helps her as many times as she helps him. Think about this for a moment: what if Katara wasn't darksinned and wasn't asian/inuit, we have a white girl, ok and now tell me her sexuality... My friends in rl say she would be a 100% pansexual (or bicon) Why? Cs it just fits. They literally say she is straight bc she is inuit. Wtf?!?! (we aren't friends anymore :D) If you still don't see the point let me tell you that Katara is pan. Just. Pansexuall, and no this is not a pun, don't tell me that she likes pans because she cooks, grow up - that's stupid and rasist and sexist

...Toph, people often make her ether a buch le$been (this is a joke and you spell it ledollarbeen, I thought it was funny...) or weird straight but that is rare, and I have mixed feelings about that, Toph is blind, she is disabled, please don't forget that; she doesn't know what the people look like, she will have to fall for their caracter if she even was interested in romantic love. In my oppinion I think Toph is ether asexuell and bi romantic, or she is just bi. Please don't forget that she did in fact have a crush on Sokka and also had two daughters with two different men. That doesn't mean you can't hc her as lesbian. You can hc her as ace/pan/straight/gay/a melon/omni if you want to.

And the same goes for Zuko. He is interested in girls, he had Mai and he loved her with all his heart. Please don't say she was the reason he found out he was gay. Zuko may give you gay vibes (idk how but k) but he is bisexual or demisexual, it just. feels right; See... he is not pan... He just isn't.

Azula: She is, in my oppinion, a le$been but I often forget about... Chan... So a) she is in fact hella gay cs no heterosexuell could be so scary and hot at he same time, here Chan was her gay awakening or b) she is bisexual but with a preference for girls (you know 1% boy and 99% girls) I like a more :D

Since we're here let me continue with the rest of the angels (they are not Ozai's angels they are just the angels I don't know who had the idea calling them after Ozai it is discusting; if they needed a name Azula's angels is more fitting or the best one is just fire angels)

Mai is the bisexual/demisexual. She was in love with Zuko and they were and are in love (I refuse to be ive the shit the comics tell us)

Ty Lee is bisexual but with a preference for boys since she did like Sokka, and she liked the boys in the beach episode simping for her (untill it got to stressful)

Ok our king and queen. Let's start with Aang cs Suki is my favourite and I will save her for last. Aang is a cool dude. He is amazing and soft but also badass and sassy. I think that hcing him as pan or straight is ok. Because it both fits. I personally hc him as omni. With a preference for girls (if that's how you call it) because he did only have a crush on Katara the whole time

Before the grande finaly of my baby and the cutest person alive let's talk about the goddess: Yue for a bit. Princess Yue. The moonspirit. The imoral spirit. The one that sacrificed herself. Yes. Bi with a preference for girls. She would just be a cottagecore le$been if Sokka wasn't there. Like. He was the only one she actually loved. And being the moonspirit is pretty gay you know... Or pan. Bi would fit her more. But pan is also good. Since she likes Sokka cs of his caracter.

Ok the queen herself. Badass warrior, preasonbraker, feminist, girlboss and all the other good stuff... SUKIIII. First of all: Suki would be so gay of not for Sokka. She litherally dressed him up like a woman and kissed him (even Sokka sais it when he explaines the invasion!!!) But since she does actually like Sokka I was thinking about pan Suki. She would never have fallen in love with him if he stayed a sexist bitch. She would have just killed him if Katara didn't interfere. I just. The facs tell me that she is pan. But my brain tells me that she is bi and I constantly don't know what she is. Plus she is the she/they highness. (But I will continue using she/her :c cs not everyone agrees with that and I totally see it and respect it.) in ny conclusion: Suki is queer, she doesn't care about her gender nore her sexuality so she just tells people she's queer and let's them guess never telling them what she actually is cs she herself still hasn't figured it out and isn't planning to uwu

Oh wait my bad Suki's gender is warrior and her sexuality is adorable badass.

!This is my oppinion! And I don't mean to harm or hurt anyone. I used examples as arguments for why I hc them like that. If you hc them as something else it's totally fine. I support it! (just not straight Katara, lmao)

(PS: Please tell me if I was/am disrespectful to any culture or rasist in any way!!!!)

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0zzysaurus · 2 years

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13, 20, 22, 80, 86

Saw your other one so I'll at 17 in here!!

13. Do you believe in reincarnation?

Wholeheartedly yes. Energy can't be destroyed so we must end up a part of something else. I suspect we're dispersed among the bugs and grass and worms eventually we travel up to the apex again. I know that's not the same as being reincarnated immediately as a new person or animal, but I think it's a slow, steady process.

17. Did you have imaginary friends? Do you still have them?

It wasn't a friend but when I was younger I had a consistent sort of "waking sleep paralysis" hallucination of a hooded shadow person. I think it was most likely the overactive imagination of a young child, but it was an extremely threatening presence in my life until I was about 10-ish? Then it just went away and I never saw it again.

20. Do you want a grand adventure?

Yes!! I want to go on a big sailing adventure around the world and visit as many places in the natural world as I can. I want to do a big American road trip themed entirely around wildlife. I also really want to visit Argentina so I can see the original Carnotaurus holotype cast. That's a bucket list trip.

22. How long does it take you to fall in love with somebody? Is the sensation of ‘falling in love’ or ‘being in love’ better?

Doesn't take long for me to form a crush and become absolutely overtaken by it. I think the feeling of falling in love is better, because it's exciting and warm and makes you feel on top of the world. - But I also have this issue where once I start a romantic relationship, my feelings very quickly go away. I don't understand why it happens but it's the primary reason I end relationships because the feeling goes away with no explaination why. It makes me feel a bit guilty sometimes because I crush HARD on a person, we start a relationship, and almost instantly I want to go back to being friends. I don't know if it's linked to aromanticism possibly, or queer platonic stuff, but I know when I'm falling in love it feels very strong and real, and once I'm actually in the relationship it goes away. :// It's something that leads me to question if having a partner is ever going to be something that will be fulfilling for me, and if it would be better to just aim for a solo life. Sorry if this answer was confusing it's just a strange thing I experience.

80. Is your music organised by mood or sensation or do you just listen to everything at any time?

My Spotify playlist is a total mess. I think it's just in order of whatever I want to bop to. I almost never put things in a specific order to listen the whole way through unless its like, Romeo and Juliet which I like to listen to in order (even tho I still skip a bunch of songs). I have a couple of playlists that started out as being specific for one vibe but gradually shift to a different vibe as you go through it. If it helps, my top listened song last year was Sound of the Underground, and my second listened to song was Growltiger. Both of those are in the same playlist outside of my 2021 wrapped. I have a playlist that has Group Autogenics 1 in it and also Bring It All Back. It's just straight vibes that dictate it <3

86. What’s your toxic trait? Are you trying to improve yourself and fix it?

Getting involved in other people's arguments that aren't my business. It's usually from a place of wanting to resolve issues because I don't like when people fight, but sometimes I gotta seriously learn to just take a step back and consider if my input is really worth giving, even if I think it's good advice or a warranted interjection. Like, if I know I'm not going to be listened to and my input is just going to aggrivate both parties, it's easier to just say nothing. In my personal and home life, I've got better at just holding my tongue around people who are determined to be right no matter what. I'm learning to not waste my energy on painful arguments that I know will upset me, even if it means not getting to stand up for myself. Does it suck when I can't clarify my thoughts or actually discuss an issue with a family member in a mature way without them getting defensive? Yeah, but I'd rather just give up the ghost than have them purposefully misinterpret my intentions and put me down at any chance they have.

#ask game #!! these are so much fun ill send u some in a sec too <3

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evelhak · 4 years

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“Ancient” wlw ships

This is such a self-indulgent post but I need to get my thoughts out. Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about all the girls I shipped in fiction when I was a kid and didn’t realize I was shipping them.

I mean, they pretty much all had boyfriends or ended up marrying a man, and I was pretty much on board, in my eyes it was just some part of the story that needed to happen, because it always did. I think the common thing with these characters was that the female best friend was, at least more often than not, narratively more important than the guy, or just seemed to have a much greater emotional impact in the story.

Thinking about this has been so fun and eye-opening that I just feel like sharing a list of my biggest ancient wlw pairs that I only now, years later, realize were totally in love in my mind, I just didn’t have a concept for it yet. I’m sure that’s relatable for some people, but maybe there’s someone out there who was shipping these same characters??

This will include mild spoilers. And it’ll be long.

1. Cornelia & Elyon from W.i.t.c.h.

I COMPLETELY lived in these comics when I was 8-12 years old, and nothing in it was as compelling to me as Cornelia and Elyon. Guess I was already a sucker for best-friends-to-enemies-to-friends-again, even though I didn’t realize I also wanted them to become lovers. Best friends was all there was to me back then, that was the name I assigned to the highest form of love in my head. Which I still don’t see as invalid? I just didn’t realize I would’ve related to the romance aspect between best friends a hell of a lot more than I did to any of the relationships the W.i.t.c.h. girls had with their boyfriends. Cornelia and Caled was almost as bad as Buffy and Angel! Cornelia and Peter was just boring af. All the other W.i.t.c.h. girls’ boyfriends were all equally boring to me except for Will and Matt, but that was because their struggle to admit their feelings for each other was written in a funny way, not because their relationship had any actual depth.

But Elyon and Cornelia would’ve been perfect! I mean if your best friend has the ability to understand you so well, that with her magical intuition, she can draw you a picture of a guy you’re going to fall for, a guy she has never met... why would you even want to be with that guy anymore? Why wouldn’t you just be with her instead?? What Cornelia and Caleb had was limerence (I actually applaud the comics for eventually treating it as such and showing how it was harmful to both of the characters!) but what Cornelia and Elyon had was true love that transcends dimensions. Cornelia never gave up on Elyon, not even for a moment, after she became the W.i.t.c.h. girls’ enemy, and when she was in trouble, Cornelia had a hunch from another dimension, and she didn’t hesitate to come to her rescue. (The fact that during the same mission she also manages to fall for the dude Elyon drew for her in the past seems more like an accident, to be honest. The real deal was patching things up with Elyon, it was both more emotionally impactful AND more plot-relevant!)

It was also really sad to read the comics sometimes, because Elyon was absolutely my favourite character, and she wasn’t around much after the first arc, being a queen in another dimension. But every time there was a flashback to when Elyon was still living on Earth and being cute with Cornelia I was like MOOOOORE.

2. Sora and Layla from Kaleido Star

If you haven’t watched this anime you’ve missed. SO. MUCH. This is probably my favourite anime ever. And it features another type of ship I LOVE. Which is partners in some sort of activity, usually sports. When it’s written well it’s just so impactful and intense. These girls are routinely risking their lives in their passion for acrobatics, so they need to have absolute trust in each other. And oh boy is the relationship between them written well. I love it when two characters initially don’t get the way the other thinks or sees the world, but as they grow closer, it’s the other’s way of thinking that really unlocks something huge for them.

Also what’s so compelling about Sora and Layla is that there really isn’t anything like them in any other anime, that I’ve come across, at least. These partnerships are always between two guys in a sports anime, the partnership is at the heart of the story and the emotional stakes are so high it’s no wonder most people don’t want to ship these guys with their intended female love interests. Kaleido Star takes this even further because the guy who is in love with Sora is literally a joke, or the fact that he’s in love with Sora is a running gag, and nothing more. All the focus is on Sora and Layla as partners, and how they change each other's lives for the better.

Also the way Sora pines for Layla when she’s away or not paying enough attention to her is SO... I mean you don’t even have to think it’s romantic for it to absolutely melt you. Although it feels pretty heavily romantically coded, and it doesn’t even feel like queer baiting, because it’s just SO real and honest. And how Layla can’t stop thinking about how Sora is changing her as a person. There’s no question about the fact that the relationship between these women is the true meat of the show.

3. Anne and Diana from Anne of Green Gables

I read these books over and over again as a kid, and the Netflix show renewed my love for these two. They are kind of ridiculous, but SO cute. Looking back, it seems obvious that they had a crush on each other, they were just SO giddy all the time they were alone. Sure, you can excuse all their romantic gestures (like changing locks of hair, and vowing to never leave each other with joined hands and grand words) with saying Anne just romanticizes everything, but it never really felt like just that to me.

I’ll never forget how devastated Anne was about Diana getting married, and I don’t remember the wording but initially she wished she could keep Diana to herself for their whole lives. And every time they talked about marriage it was something they were both gonna do not as individuals, but rather the emphasis seemed to be on the shared experience, and how their children would be best friends and all that. It was all about them together. Like their romantic fantasies were nothing without the other somehow in the picture.

I don’t hate Anne and Gilbert but I don’t love them either. Gilbert has always been just sort of “meh”. He’s okay, but also the kind of love interest that can never compel me much.

4. Chocolat and Vanilla from Sugar Sugar Rune

Seriously, this would have been SO GOOD if it was canon.

Think about it, best friends, chosen to compete against each other for the throne. These witches go to the human world to attract male attention and collect feelings from the men, turning the feelings into heart shaped crystals and whoever collects more will be the queen. I mean... the story was good as it is but if they had ended up together and been queens TOGETHER?? That would have been the best story. It could have had SUCH a compelling best-friends-to-competitors-to-enemies-to-friends-to-lovers storyline! There would have been room for so much character development.

And if my memory doesn’t betray me the story would not change much at all if they didn’t end up with the guys they do end up with! Especially Vanilla’s guy is like an afterthought and Chocolat’s guy is... well, a sum of my least favourite tropes, including the one that will remind everyone about Mortal Instruments a LITTLE too much, so he can get lost for all I care.

I cried many times while reading this, and it always had something to do with these two girls.

5. Yoko and Liao from Yoko Tsuno

Okay, these two might have a problematic age gap, I’m not sure, but I didn’t know of that possibility as a kid, they just looked the same age to me. I was a huge Yoko Tsuno fan as a pre-teen, and there were so many interesting female adventurers in this series but for some reason the dynamic between Yoko and Liao was my favourite, even though Liao only appeared in one album. I just really felt like I needed to see more of these characters interacting and where their relationship would develop.

There was something about them that seemed rather original to me then, and a nice change. The reader had already gotten used to Yoko as the hero, she was always saving the day everywhere, she was like The Doctor in a way and not only because she time-travelled. She is simply badass. In Liao’s story there’s a prophecy about a girl who speaks to a dragon and saves everyone, and Yoko thinks that girl is her because she’s from the future and knows the dragon is a machine, but it turns out to be Liao, and that was somehow really satisfying. Yoko treats Liao obnoxiously in the beginning, doesn’t give her much credit, but is deeply humbled after Liao needs to save her ass multiple times because she’s just too sure of herself. It was cool to see how Yoko really needed to grow in this story and realize her limitations, and how wrong she was to treat Liao the way she did and look down on her just because Liao was physically weak, had a temper, and came from a much earlier time period than Yoko.

By the end they are clearly very attached to each other (Liao weeping in Yoko’s arms and Yoko confessing how full of herself she was when they met) and respect each other, and I just really would’ve liked to see where they would go from there. I thought about them meeting again A LOT when I was a kid.

That’s my big five! :D I could go on but this is already long, I need to sleep, and these are the characters that I’ve been thinking about the most lately. If you read this far for some reason it would be cool to hear if you have any similar (or different) experiences.

#old ships #wlw #w.i.t.c.h #kaleido star #yoko tsuno #anne of green gables #sugar sugar rune #personal #rambly

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sage-nebula · 4 years

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Game Review — Best Friend Forever

Ever since playing (and enjoying) Mystic Messenger, I’ve had a casual interest in dating sims, and particularly those that allow for queer relationships. And as someone who has had and loved dogs my entire life, I have a marked interest in dog raising and training. So of course, a game that is at once a queer dating sim and a dog raising sim should be right up my alley. What could possibly go wrong with this?

Overall Score: 3/10

A lot. A lot can go wrong with this. I can’t remember a game that has disappointed me this badly in recent memory, one that feels almost like a betrayal because it sounded like it was tailor made for me and I’d been looking forward to it since the initial announcement, only to be met with what honestly feels like an incomplete mess. If given more time, it’s possible this game could have been good. As it stands now, it is absolutely not. More details under the cut, and as always, view it on my blog for better looking formatting.

The Pros:

Obviously, first and foremost, that it’s a queer dating sim. You don’t have to be in a queer relationship if you play, of course, but the option is absolutely there with every single one of the romance options being available to you regardless of gender (similar to Stardew Valley in that regard, though Stardew Valley isn’t a dating sim, but rather just has a romance element). There is other queer representation as well, with at least one of the romantic options being a trans guy (who is actually the one I dated, though I can’t remember his name off-hand), and another two characters being bi considering they once dated each other and will date you regardless of your pronouns. You can choose gender-neutral pronouns, and as far as other representation goes, at least one of the characters is blind as well. So representation-wise, this game does well, and I will give it credit for that.

The art is very cute. The dogs are cute, the characters stand out from one another and have clear differences, the colors are nice and everything is drawn very well. Since the entire concept of the game is cute (move to an idyllic dog loving town and fall in love while raising a dog!) it stands to reason that the art would be as well.

The Neutrals:

The dialogue is okay. At times it felt like they were trying to hard to make the characters sound like Today’s Youth, which would absolutely age the game in just a couple years if the game had any lasting power at all (which I highly doubt it does). There were times when I enjoyed it, but other times where I cringed a little.

The music is also okay. Nothing memorable, but it fit the setting well enough.

The dog events during play did a decent job of making the dog feel involved, but at times were a bit distracting and not always intuitive (for instance, having to hold A to pet rather than pressing it repeatedly like I thought at first, which can lead to your dog being depressed).

The Cons:

There is so little character customization there might as well not be any at all. You can pick between three designs which cannot have their features changed at all. Three. You can’t even do simple things like change hair color, skin tone, or clothing options. This is a $20+ game and it has less customization than a free picrew. I could understand if your character had to be very involved, action-wise, but they’re not! They just stand off to the left side constantly and have very small changes in facial expression. The severe lack of customization was extremely disappointing.

But you know what’s even more disappointing? Having a game where a key component is raising a dog and then only having FOUR DOGS to choose between. FOUR. Three very specific breeds, and then a “mutt” (come on, you can’t even call it a mixed-breed?). Dogs are a huge part of this game; if we can’t customize because the idea is to adopt a dog, why can’t we at least have a bigger selection to choose from? The reason in-game is that you get to the adoption shelter late, but that’s a narrative excuse created to cover for a lack of development. It doesn’t excuse it, and it was disappointing.

Despite each dog having quirky little story cards you can read when you’re adopting, as far as I can tell the dog’s stated personality has absolutely no bearing on what the experience raising them is like. For instance, I adopted the mixed-breed, who I believe was said to have been abandoned and therefore very mistrustful of humans. But I had no trouble raising the Trust stat at all; I had the dog trusting me completely in less than a day. If you’re going to bother adding things in like “this dog was abandoned” and “this dog was rescued from an abused home,” then you should at least put in the effort to make that affect the dog’s stats so that, again, players can experience something a bit different depending on the choice they make.

Speaking of the choice they make, at the beginning of the game your character signs up for a dating app and they have to answer all these questions about themselves. Near as I can tell, these questions also have no bearing on anything whatsoever because you meet and can date any of the love interests you choose. So while it’s a cutesy idea, it’s ultimately a complete waste of time that could have instead been put into developing other aspects of the game.

Back to the dog aspect: part of the “story” (if it can be called that) is that the shelter requires every adopter to go through mandatory dog training and check-ins before they let you keep the dog. (Which . . . is not at all true to life, but whatever.) As a result, during the week you train your dog in various activities to raise their stats. Multiple issues with this:

You don’t actually train your dog. Like there aren’t minigames or anything. Instead, you select which activity you’d like to do each day, and then the week automatically runs through them and you get little blurbs on how the dog did (which always say the same thing for every activity) and which stats were raised. That’s it. You don’t actually get to do these things with the dog at all.

Near as I can tell, there is no way to get a good score on the check-ins. Even though I would raise my dog’s stats by several levels every time, I got bronze medals in every category at every check-in and a ribbon for “barely trying” even though I WAS trying, and even did all the extra activities each week as well. I looked online and others had this same problem, so it seems to me that the entire dog training aspect is rigged, and you fail no matter what you do, which again, really isn’t good game design. (That said, you get to keep the dog regardless, so it really is just an entirely pointless and time wasting aspect of the game.)

There really isn’t a story. Or well, there kind of is, but it’s a very bare bones one. Here’s the story: Your character used to work for a mega corporation but decided to quit because said corporation was Evil. You move to this dog town because you like dogs and you’re an aspiring photographer. During your time there you adopt a dog, get a love interest, hold a photography exhibit after doing one (1) sort-of job, and that’s it. There are a few events that trigger depending on which love interest route you’re going for, but there are never stakes at any point (because you’re never actually in danger of losing your dog, and even when your camera is stolen the lady who hired you for the exhibit just gives you a free replacement right away immediately), and I would argue there’s not a climax, either. It’s pretty much boring from start to finish, but that said . . .

Start to finish is a grand total of two hours! For a game that was $20+!! As I’ve expressed in other reviews, my basic rule of thumb is that I should get one hour of gameplay for every dollar spent. I am somewhat flexible on this—I can give leeway depending on the game and how much I enjoyed it—but charging twenty dollars and up for a game that lasts only two hours is an absolute rip-off in my eyes. To be fair, I didn’t play any of the other romantic routes to see those cutscenes, but the overall story would be the exact same no matter which you chose (unlike in Mystic Messenger, where it changes pretty significantly depending on which route you choose), so I honestly don’t see a point to it. It doesn’t feel worth it to me, at all.

Speaking of the different routes, while the characters have unique designs and seem interesting enough on their own, I don’t think their stories have any real depth. For instance, with the one I played (and again, can’t remember his name, sorry—though I do remember that his dog is an Italian greyhound named Marshmallow), he has a small story about how his family kicked him out when he came out as trans, he traveled around, met his roommates and formed a found family with them. One roommate, who is also this guy’s ex-boyfriend, is moving away soon and is annoyed that the love interest character is spending so much time with the cute neighbor (they live in the same apartment building), as well as the fact that the love interest is allowing his parents to contact him bit by bit. Now, this could be interesting . . . but it’s never resolved. Ever. They fight and that’s the last we see of the roommate, or hear about the situation at all. I haven’t played the other routes, but given the length of the game I assume it would be the same way; they would talk about past conflict but that’s it, you don’t get any real resolution or get to see how that story plays out. It contributes to the game feeling very unfinished, like there were ideas here but the developers lost steam halfway through and decided to just end it.

And speaking of not caring about finishing or polishing things, this game is absolutely riddled with typos. Now, I don’t want to be too mean, and I know this isn’t a AAA game. But if you’re going to release a game on the Nintendo eShop, and if you’re going to charge over $20 for it, then I feel like you should at least do the bare minimum of quality control and check for spelling and grammar. But that wasn’t done, to an extent that was noticeable. Additionally, there wasn’t quality control done to make sure that dialogue fit the route you were on. After the camera is stolen, the love interest I chose is there to comfort the main character and tell them he’ll help out. Then the next day he’s like, “I heard what happened, that sucks” as if he . . . wasn’t there. That dialogue was clearly meant for if he wasn’t the love interest, but it still played on the route where he was. This is something quality control should have caught, but since this game appears to not have any quality control whatsoever, it wasn’t.

I probably should have mentioned this above, but I just remembered—during the character creation process, there doesn’t seem to be an option to go back if you change your mind about which avatar you want, what you named your character, etc. Or at least, if there was, I couldn’t find it even by pressing the standard buttons such as B or Y. Instead, I had to restart the game about three times. Again, a simple design feature that should have been included, but wasn’t for some odd reason.

They hired voice actors, but the only real voice acting is the very annoying (and somewhat cringy) radio broadcast at the very beginning of the game. Voice actors can be expensive, so I can understand not having the whole game be voiced . . . but why hire them at all, in that case? Not all games need voice acting. This game doesn’t, but it’s odd to open the game as if you’re going to have everything be voiced when it ends up very clearly not. Not a huge deal, but on top of everything else, it bugged me.

Honestly, there’s probably more that irritated me, but it’s been a week and some change since I played, so this is all I remember right now. Suffice it to say that this game, which should have been right up my alley as a gender non-conforming queer woman who loves dogs, is one of the biggest disappointments I’ve experienced in gaming in a while. There were some good ideas here, but the execution was absolutely abysmal and I don’t recommend this game to anyone, especially not for the current price. There are much better games out there. Go play those instead.

#2020 game reviews #could not be more disappointed by and angry about this game if i tried #typically i don't read reviews before playing games bc i want to form my own opinions & i don't always agree with reviews anyway #but in this case i really wish i'd checked out the reviews #bc this game was TERRIBLE & a waste of money #which really really sucks bc i love dogs & also queer romance so much but #it is what it unfortunately is :/

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ultrafangirlishness · 4 years

Text

Alone On Christmas (Part 1)

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Synopsis: Deceit hates Christmas, especially now that it’s without Virgil— his first Christmas alone. Or so he thought.

Word count: 2,808

Pairings: None romantic, all platonic

Warnings: slight Deceit angst (some anxious and insecure thoughts), sympathetic Deceit, minor arguing/tension, Christmas themes, lots of fluff, fluff ending

A/N: Hey everyone, this is my FIRST FIC EVER, inspired by this post by @max-the-queer. I had a lot of fun with this and am excited to present this totally self-indulgent fic. Unfortunately I forgot about Tumblr’s textbox limit, so I had to split it up. Feedback is welcome and greatly appreciated! (Also note this is pre-Remus). Happy Holidays, everyone!

Other parts here: 1 | 2 | 3

Special thanks to @sparkleydoggy-main for editing.

(I actually didn’t intend this at all, but this ended up being my 600th post! Yay!)

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Deceit pulled his cape tighter as the first couple snowflakes began to fall. All around him the town was aglow in stringed lights, the last few porch lights slowly being turned out one by one. It was 8:25 PM; just a couple hours until Christmas. Right about now, households would be tucking in for the night. Parents would be finishing the last of the wrapping, making food preparations, or kissing their children goodnight. Trees shone brightly through windows. As the snow fell harder, the atmosphere grew eerily silent, the only sound being the crunching of snow under Deceit’s feet.

Deceit hated the winter. More specifically, he hated Christmas.

Not just because of the cold, or the annoying music that always got stuck in his head. It wasn’t because of the brightly colored decorations and lights that hurt his eyes, or even just because of the obnoxiously cheery “Christmas spirit” everyone claimed to be in the air. Those were awful too. What he hated above all else, something he would never admit aloud, was that for Deceit, Christmas time was lonely.

Ever since Virgil left him for the other sides, Deceit had been an absolute outcast. A complete loner. He and Virgil would always make fun of the cheesy decorations, the ridiculous songs, and watch Halloween movies just to spite everyone. At least in previous years he could be lonely with someone— with Virgil. Now here he was, left to suffer alone in his least favorite time of year.

Deceit continued walking through the streets, hoping not to run into anyone. Maybe he could find a nearby café and wait out this storm…

He didn’t have to walk too far before Deceit became lost in thought. This would be his first Christmas without Virgil, without anyone in… how long? He couldn’t recall. Deceit supposed this was probably how Christmas would be from now on. Wandering the streets without purpose, nowhere to go, hoping he could find something to pass the time. Get over yourself, he said in his mind. If this is the way it’s going to be, you might as well get used to it.

Deceit was nearly to the late-night café he’d spotted earlier when he was pulled from his thoughts. From the house directly to his right came the creaking of an opening door. Golden light flooded the streets. Standing there in the doorway was a silhouetted figure.

“Deceit?” it called out.

After a few moments, his eyes adjusted to the new source of light and Deceit was able to make out the figure’s features. A man, most likely in his late twenties to early thirties, wearing a thick pair of black glasses and a sweater that read “Meowy Christmas” over a knitted cat pattern.

“Patton.”

Deceit had completely forgotten he lived in this area of town.

“What are you doing out here?” Patton gestured to the snow. “It’s freezing! I thought you hated the cold?”

“I do,” he said in a matter-of-fact sort of way, hoping Patton wouldn’t noticing him shivering underneath all the layers.

Something changed in Patton’s expression. Sympathy? Pity?

“How are the others?” Deceit asked automatically, attempting to change the subject. He couldn’t help but cringe at the word “others”. He had a feeling they both knew who he was referring to.

“Oh! He's— they’re, they’re great. You know how it is,” he laughed nervously, “always arguing. But you gotta love ‘em.”

Deceit only nodded, fresh out of conversation filler.

The two men stood there, now wordless, no more than a few paces apart. With the door wide open, the smell of freshly baked cookies wafted outside. Deceit could hear the faintest tune of Jingle Bell Rock coming from inside the house, followed by boisterous laughter. A familiar sinking feeling began creeping into his gut. When the silence between the two finally grew unbearable, Deceit cleared his throat.

“Well, if there’s nothing else you require of me, I hope you’ll excuse me,” he said with a polite nod, stepping away.

“Wait!”

Deceit paused and looked back at Patton, who wore a frantic expression. Patton flushed and, when it was clear he had the snake’s attention, looked down at his feet.

“No one should be alone on Christmas,” he muttered softly, just loud enough to hear.

This took Deceit by surprise. Out of anyone, Patton was worried about his well-being?

“Are you… inviting me in?” he asked.

“Yes?” Patton responded, rubbing the back of his neck. “Look, I know you and the others haven’t always seen eye-to-eye.” Deceit scoffed at that. “But… It’s Christmas eve. Everyone deserves a second chance, right?”

“Patton, I appreciate the gesture, but why do you care? I mean, why are you doing this?” Was it possible Patton or the others actually missed him, or was this all coming from guilt? There was obviously some sort of hidden motive behind it. Some sort of trick. If he really cared, he would’ve invited him in a long time ago.

Patton’s expression just softened. “I want you to have just as good a Christmas as any. That’s not going to happen with you walking around out here all alone.”

Deceit looked away. He had a point.

“Besides, it’s only for a little bit.”

Deceit’s mind began to race, trying to think of all the ways it could possibly be a trick. Surely he wasn’t actually letting him into their lives, surely he didn’t actually care… and what about Virgil? What would he think? He would probably only try to make things miserable for Deceit. On the other hand, this was a chance to... what? Get back at him? It’d at least make him uncomfortable, no doubt. If Deceit ended up going through with all of this just to spite Virgil, well, he supposed he could live with that.

“So… what do you say?” Patton said, trying to conceal a hopeful smile. “You can come back later tonight when we’re ready, say, around nine? It’ll give me a chance to talk to the others.”

Deceit glanced at the time; that would give him less than half an hour.

“C’mon, join us,” he encouraged. “Just this once? It’ll be like old times! In the spirit of Christmas?”

Deceit knew that in fact it wouldn’t be like old times, but he decided not to say that. He mustered the last bit of courage he had left to look back up into Patton’s kind eyes. “Alright.”

•••

“Guys, come on! It’s Christmas!”

Patton, Logan, Roman and Virgil were sat comfortably around the table, enjoying a Christmas Eve dinner together.

“Pat, you can’t be serious,” Virgil said from across the table, arms crossed. “You know I try to humor your ideas, but this? Absolutely not.”

Before Patton could give him one of his “injured puppy” looks, as the group liked to refer to it as, Virgil cut in again. “Come on, Roman, this is crazy, right?” He gestured desperately at the prince, who tensed.

“I, uh…” He cleared his throat. “I’m actually with Patton here. I think it’s a good idea.” Roman felt a little uneasy, but the look Patton gave him made up for it.

“Not you, too!” Virgil threw his hands in the air, exasperated.

Roman, trying his best to ignore the daggers being stared from Virgil, looked to the fourth person in the room.

“What about you, Logan? You haven’t said anything on the matter. What do you think?”

Logan, who’d been observing silently, sat up in his chair, all focus now on him. He took a moment to sip his cup of hot chocolate before speaking.

“What are the pros and cons?” he asked simply.

Virgil quickly opened his mouth to object, but Logan held up his hand for silence. Virgil reluctantly obliged and sat back in his chair with a huff.

“Calmly. What are the advantages and disadvantages of having Deceit over for Christmas?”

Virgil raised his hand in mock gesture. Logan rolled his eyes and nodded in his direction.

“I don’t know, maybe because he’s a freaking snake, the literal embodiment of lies, and can’t be trusted?”

The rest of the group fell silent at that.

“The pros are we’ll have one more person to celebrate with!” Roman jumped in with grand gestures. “The more the merrier! And maybe it’ll give you two a chance to, you know, make up?”

“Besides,” Virgil said, ignoring Roman’s last comment, “he hates Christmas. He used to always—” He stopped himself. “Look, I’m just trying to look out for you all. I don’t want anything to happen.”

“I think you’re just being selfish because you don’t want to have to deal with the confrontation. Can’t you two just grow up? It was one little argument!”

Virgil immediately stood up from his chair to face Roman, fists clenched.

“Hey, hey, let’s calm down everyone,” Patton said with a nervous laugh.

“Thank you, Roman, that is a great example of what will not help the situation,” Logan said, giving him a look.

Patton placed his hand gently on Virgil’s arm, whose angry expression softened a bit. Virgil sat back in his chair. “Why do you all want him over, anyways? You’re not exactly friends with him either.”

When no one spoke up, Patton looked down at his hands. “No one should be alone on Christmas.”

Virgil grumbled and rolled his eyes but ultimately didn’t argue.

“Come on Virge,” Patton urged, “I know you cut ties, but he’s not all bad. He is still one of us, you know.”

“He is not one of us,” Virgil muttered under his breath.

After a few moments of silence between the four, Logan spoke up again. “I’m sorry, Virgil, but it appears you’ve been out-numbered. It’s three to one.”

“That’s not three to one, you’re just the mediator!”

Logan just shrugged, keeping his expression neutral. “So are we decided then?” he asked, “Do we all agree to invite Deceit over, to all get along,” he pointed a look at Virgil, “in the spirit of Christmas?”

Patton put his hand on Virgil’s shoulder. “If you’re really that against it, we won’t do it. But I think it’ll be a really good thing. For all of us.” He intentionally left out the “especially for you” part.

After a long moment of silence, Virgil gave in. “Fine.”

•••

It was only two minutes past nine when the doorbell rang.

“Oh, that’s him!” Roman announced excitedly. “And barely a moment late!”

The four friends left their places on the couch to gather in the foyer. Logan reached out and opened the door. There on the doorstep stood a snowy Deceit.

“Welcome, welcome, come on in!” Patton said brightly. “Long-time-no-see, am I right?”

Deceit stepped into the house, taking in the warmth. “Hello, Patton, hello everyone, thank you for inviting me. I must admit it has been a while.”

He was surprised to feel some of the bitterness already melting away when seeing everyone together again. Deceit would never admit it, but he had missed these guys.

“Welcome, Deceit,” Logan closed the door behind him and offered a hand. “Good to see you again.”

Though his voice and expression were kept under control as per usual, Deceit could feel the warmth radiating from him. With a gloved hand he took the offer. “You as well, Logan, thank you.”

“Jack the Fibber!” Roman bounded forward and draped an arm over Deceit’s shoulder, not noticing him flinch at the touch. “My slippery scaly friend, how are you? It’s been ages!”

“Indeed it has, dear Roman.” Though he was slightly uncomfortable with the sudden contact, he couldn’t help but smile. “Indeed it has.”

That left only one person, the one who was standing off to the side with his arms crossed, avoiding eye contact. Deceit gently took Roman’s arm off his shoulder and cautiously walked forward.

“Virgil,” he said, trying his best to hold his ground. “Good to see you again.”

Virgil rolled his eyes and blew his bangs from his face, not moving from his position. “You too, or something.”

At least he couldn’t say he didn’t try.

“Well, what do we start with first?” Roman clapped his hands together excitedly as if nothing had happened. “The hot chocolate? The cookie decorating? Christmas movies? A Christmas sing-along?”

“Calm down there, kiddo,” Patton laughed, waving his hands down at Roman. “Why don’t we have Deceit decide? He’s the guest.”

The four friends look expectantly at Deceit.

“Oh. I, uh… I’ve never really done Christmas,” he said nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s not really my thing.” This really was a bad idea. What was he thinking? He’d never even had a real Christmas before. Still, some small part of him wanted to try.

Roman gasped, making everyone jump. “You’ve never done Christmas?” He looked downright offended. “Christmas is the grandest, happiest, most wonderful time of the year! I’m sorry, but this just won’t do. We shall see to it that you have the best, most epic Christmas of all time!”

“Yes, we shall!” Patton agreed happily.

“Mark my words, Deceit, by the end of the day tomorrow you will love Christmas,” he swore, pointing his finger.

Patton’s smile faltered, “Now, Roman, there’s no need to get competitive—"

“Starting with the basics!” Roman proceeded. “You can take the spare bedroom down the hall and to the right.”

“Oh! There’s no need for that,” Deceit replied hastily, glancing at the door, “I was just going to come back in the morning.”

“Nonsense, you must have the full experience!”

Virgil looked like he wanted to protest, but remained silent.

“But I didn’t come prepared,” he reasoned, “I don’t have my clothes, I didn’t bring gifts—”

“Not to worry, we have plenty of extra clothes you can borrow!”

“Roman, that’s… thank you.” Deceit could feel his cheeks begin to heat up from all the attention.

“Roman’s right, we have plenty of resources,” Logan chimed in. “Go ahead and make yourself right at home, Deceit. It’s getting late, and we all should be going to bed soon,”—he gave a look to Roman, Patton, and Virgil— “We can do all those activities in the morning. Feel free to shower, grab a snack, whatever makes you feel comfortable.”

“But—”

“Goodnight, Deceit! See you in the morning!” Patton waved as he, Roman and Virgil headed to their respective rooms.

“Sweet dreams!” Roman called back.

Virgil just shot Deceit the best glare he could muster and followed suit.

“You know you can take your hat off, right?” he heard from behind. Deceit turned to see Logan, who hadn’t followed the others. “It won’t be snowing in here.” He was smiling slightly. Apparently he’d gained a sense of humor since they last met.

“Oh.” Deceit pulled his hat down from his head. He liked to wear it more out of comfort than for warmth or even style. It gave him a sense of security, something to hide behind. Taking it off made him feel vulnerable. Reluctantly he handed it to Logan, who brought it to the coat rack. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. And Deceit?” Logan said before he could walk away. For a moment he was worried Logan was going to offer to take his cape too, but he just smiled again. “If you need anything, anything at all, just ask.”

Deceit wasn’t sure how to respond to such a generous offer, so he just nodded and headed for his room, too tired to put up a fight.

When Deceit was done showering off, he tentatively peeked into his bedroom to make sure no one was around. There he found a stack of clothes folded neatly across the bed and a steaming cup of hot chocolate left on his nightstand. He slipped on a pair of sweatpants and a baggy t-shirt, grateful for the clean clothes.

Deceit wondered who’d left the hot chocolate. The most likely candidate was Patton, but he was surprised by the gesture regardless of who it had been. He took ginger sips of the chocolate as peered out the window, watching the snow continue to come down.

Why were they being so nice? For the first time in months, Deceit felt… okay. Maybe a little awkward, but if it weren’t for Patton, he very well may have still been out in that snow. He wondered if this was the way everyone felt on Christmas; warm and safe. Happy, even. A small part of him still wondered if this was all some cruel trick, some way for Virgil to get back at him, but he decided he’d let that go for now. He could deal with it in the morning.

The sweet, warm chocolate began making his limbs grow heavy, and he knew he should probably get some sleep. Tomorrow was bound to be exhausting. For now, he was just going to soak in the warmth and comfort and close his eyes.

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frauleinsmaria · 5 years

Text

Signed, Sealed, Delivered {1/1}

Summary: Emma is frustrated with where she's at in life, and even more frustrated with her job as a retail manager. Killian is the UPS driver who starts making deliveries at her workplace. And maybe, somehow, their brief interactions every week mean more to each other than they ever expected.

Rated T, includes references to sexual misconduct.

A/N: Kicking off @csseptembersunshine with this story I’ve been sitting on for a while! Just for clarification, the premise was based on my job as a retail manager, and the sleazy UPS driver I have to deal with on a regular basis. So, of course, I had to write a fic where Emma is me but instead gets the hot, polite driver me and my coworkers have always wanted. I know it’s a little weird, but I am pretty proud of the end result, and I hope you enjoy reading it!

Major thanks to @thejollyroger-writer and @scientificapricot for providing beta duties, @shireness-says for the title and the store name (I’m letting you name everything for me now), and @let-it-raines for bringing up the “frost yourself” thing and inspiring the rom-com element. You’re all fantastic humans, and I appreciate you immensely.

Also on AO3

-/-

Tuesdays were the worst. That’s how everyone seemed to feel about Mondays, but Emma didn’t mind those quite so much. After getting her one guaranteed day off every week on Sunday, it was a bit easier to come into work the next morning, semi-well rested and ready for a new week.

The same couldn’t be said for Tuesdays, though. Retail was far from booming at the first of the week (which Emma understood; shopping wasn’t exactly high on her list of priorities until the weekend.) Any project Elsa or Anna gave her to work on was usually simple and completed within a relatively short amount of time. So that often left her with far too much time with nothing to do but refold the same shirts, wipe down the same counters, and scroll through the same posts on her Instagram feed while waiting for business to come or her shift to end.

Emma was grateful for her job at Crystalline. She’d been looking for a new job for almost six months when Mary Margaret suggested she reach out to the Frost sisters to ask if they needed an additional cashier at their boutique during the previous holiday season. And after working there for three months, Elsa and Anna offered her a promotion to become their assistant manager. She hadn’t hesitated before accepting. Not only would the position come with a small raise, but also additional responsibilities to help her feel like she had a purpose in a season of life that seemed so monotonous and uncertain.

Turns out, though, there weren’t really a lot of added responsibilities she didn’t already have as a cashier. Sure, she had a key to the store and acted as the manager on duty for a few hours every day before or after Elsa and Anna’s shifts. And she could tell one of the part-time employees to do something and be taken a bit more seriously. Sometimes. But unless it was around a holiday or a weekend that brought in a significant amount of business, Emma found herself spending most of the day trying to conceal her boredom. The store was a typical boutique that sold mostly women’s clothes, shoes, and accessories, meaning there were significantly less tasks and responsibilities than she’d have being a manager at a corporate store.

The store had been open for less than an hour, and she was on her third cup of her coffee and hot cocoa mix since arriving earlier to open. It was only she and Jasmine working this morning, since Anna had taken the day off to celebrate her husband’s birthday with him, and Elsa didn’t come in until after lunch since she would be closing tonight.

Emma took her thermos to the front of the store and propped herself up against a rack of overpriced shirts. (They sold few things in Crystalline that she could afford at full price. Thank goodness for her employee discount at least.) It was her typical method of trying to look like an attentive supervisor when she was too tired to walk around or even stand straight up. No one had yet to call her out on it, which she took as a sign she was doing something right.

Jasmine stood in the middle of the sales floor by the cash registers, dusting and wiping down every surface regardless of whether it actually needed to be done. Emma hadn’t had the heart to tell her she was saving that as part of her personal list of things to do to keep her preoccupied later when Jasmine left for the day. But they’d had a grand total of two customers since opening, a pair of older ladies who looked around for approximately thirty seconds before leaving. She couldn’t blame Jasmine for wanting to stay busy.

While Jasmine dusted the jewelry counters, Emma sipped her now lukewarm drink and composed a mental list of everything that needed to be taken care of after work. A trip to the grocery store was unavoidable; she’d put it off for too long now and had been stuck with peanut butter crackers for breakfast as a result. The clothes she’d washed and dried the day before needed to be folded and put away. And she needed to write. Even if it was only a few hundred words based off of a random prompt she found online. Something was better than nothing, and nothing was all she’d done lately when it came to any of her stories.

“Five hundred words,” she muttered to herself. “You just write five hundred words tonight, and you can start the new season of Queer Eye.” Priorities. Some days she had to take motivation wherever she could find it.

The next half hour or so elapsed with little activity other than overhearing Leroy yell at Deputy Humbert across the street over what sounded like a parking ticket. It was mid July, and Emma could make out the sweat beading on Leroy’s brow if she concentrated enough. (At least she did have the bonus of being in an air conditioned space all day.)

To be fair, he knew damn well not to park his truck in front of a fire hydrant. Part of Emma couldn’t help but feel for Graham as Leroy hurled insults at him, even though thinking about him came with an inevitable feeling of discomfort now. The two of them had gone out a handful of times a few months prior. Each date had been a bit worse than the last as she came to realize she had zero romantic interest whatsoever for Graham, but hadn’t known how to say as much without hurting him. The moment she came clean was incredibly awkward, and he had avoided her ever since, something easier said than done in a small town. It didn’t help that she was close friends with the sheriff and his wife, meaning Graham was often mentioned when David shared recent stories about work at their weekly dinners together.

Her attention was taken away from Leroy and Graham with the arrival of the UPS truck outside. Emma sat her coffee to the side and went to prop open the door for the driver, more than familiar with this routine after her seven months on the job. They received deliveries several times a week, packages containing everything from new merchandise to supplies and equipment for the store. The days on which these deliveries happened varied by the order date and shipping location, but they almost always took place later in the morning following any drop-offs to Dark Star pharmacy and Storybrooke’s Animal Shelter up the road.

Emma heard the truck’s back door open as she used her foot to set up the door stopper. She hoped today’s drop off would be quick. Over the past few months, deliveries had been made by the same man — Walsh, she thought she remembered hearing — who went out of his way to hit on her, calling her “baby” and “sweetheart” and sticking around to make uncomfortable conversation that she wanted no part in.

She’d come close to calling him out for it several times. Telling him “Ms. Swan is just fine, thank you,” or that she needed to get back to work. But it was the fact that she was working that always stopped her. There were a number of ways he could react to being told off. She had learned the hard way how badly men could react if their advances were rejected. Emma was hesitant to cause a scene in front of customers, despite knowing Elsa and Anna would take her side should anything happen. The joys of being a woman in retail.

Stepping back from the door, she glanced up to see the man pushing a hand truck stacked with boxes in her direction. The reluctant “Good morning” she’d prepared for Walsh died on her lips as she took him in. Because this wasn’t Walsh.

The man wearing the standard brown button up and matching pants had never made a delivery to the store, at least not during one of her shifts. She would have remembered his head of dark, messy hair and blue eyes that met her own as he reached the store’s entrance.

“Good morning, lass.”

Of course he would be English to boot. It was almost unfair.

“Morning,” she replied, trying to sound nonchalant.

“This is my first run in this part of town, but I do believe I’m at the right place.”

“If it’s 723G Greene Street, then it’s ours.” She noticed the familiar logo printed on the side of the cardboard boxes. “Unless there’s another clothing store I don’t know about nearby that also sells Steve Madden.” This must have been the new sneakers Elsa mentioned ordering a few weeks earlier.

“Aye. What I saw of the pharmacy and the animal shelter makes me think anything here wouldn’t fit well.” He gestured around the storefront. “Where would you like these?”

Emma stepped back and nodded to an open space at the window. “Here’s fine. We’ll probably need to make some room in the back office before they’ll fit with the rest of the new inventory.”

It was difficult not to stare while he stacked the boxes up where she’d indicated, the fitted uniform showing off the taut muscles in his arms and shoulders. (The pants suited him too. Not that she’d admit to paying attention.) When he’d finished, he unclipped a device from his belt and offered it to her. She’d done this enough times to know how it worked, quickly using the attached pen to scribble her last name on the blank line before handing it back.

“Thank you, Miss,” he glanced down at what she’d written, “Swan.” He smiled back up at Emma. “Quite the unique surname.”

She didn’t respond, only smiled politely as he clipped the device back to his belt and turned with the hand truck in the direction of the open door. It was better than, Thanks, I chose it myself, which was all she could think of to say. Not the best can of worms to open with a stranger.

He paused just before stepping out the door and turned back to Emma. “Perhaps I’ll be seeing you again? For future deliveries, I mean,” he added when her brow furrowed in confusion.

“Oh. Yeah. Maybe.” Such a smooth talker she was.

The man gave her a quick nod before exiting the store, a long list of delivery stops probably awaiting him. Emma watched from the window as he climbed back into his truck and drove off, disappearing around the corner.

Part of her mind was preoccupied with the fact that she’d never seen a UPS truck with its doors closed before. Shouldn’t that be a safety hazard? It was more than likely time efficient for deliveries, but she wasn’t sure if there was a point in saving time if your life was going to be threatened in the process. Storybrooke had its own breed of crazy drivers too.

The other part hoped the driver was right about seeing her again.

Emma thought about him more than she would like to admit over the next few days. The lilt of his accent, the lines around his eyes that crinkled when he’d smiled at her. She felt more than a little ridiculous for noticing such specific details after a single encounter lasting all of five minutes. If only she could have that level of concentration when it came to writing. She’d gone home that night and tried to muster up a few hundred words of something, anything. Instead she had stared at the blank screen in front of her and questioned if there was even any point.

Regardless, it was a poor decision to even give him more thought. She reminded herself of this as she went through her usual routine to open Crystalline again on Friday morning. The only information she had on the man was what he did for a living, and a vague idea of where he was from if the accent was anything to go by. For all she knew, he lived a nice, white-picket fence life with a partner, a few kids, and maybe a dog.

(He looked like a dog person. Emma believed that was something you could easily determine.)

And yet her pulse did something she refused to acknowledge when he entered the store around the same time that he’d come on Tuesday. There were several packages today, at least four or five stacked on the hand truck he pulled in behind him.

Emma approached him as he stacked the boxes at the normal spot by the window. “So you did make it back after all.”

He glanced up and her and smiled. “Indeed. It appears from the looks of it that this area is going to be part of my regular route for the time being. I hope that’s alright with you,” he added, one eyebrow inching toward his hairline. There was a hint of teasing in his remark, although it seemed to be genuine too.

It was more than alright with her eyes. Her nervous system, maybe not so much. “I think we can manage that. If you can deal with all this excitement.” She gestured to the empty store. He was the first person to enter that day besides Elsa and herself an hour earlier.

The smile on his face remained, thankfully. It would have been awkward had he not understood her sarcasm; that happened with Walsh a few times. “Sounds tricky. But I do love a challenge.”

Emma struggled with a response but came up short. If only he knew how many challenges she could present.

“Crystalline, eh?” he asked, glancing around the store. “Interesting choice. It means having the structure and form of a crystal, right?”

Was he a walking dictionary or something? “Uh, yeah, I think so. The owners’ last name is Frost, and they wanted to name the store something that went with it, so, like, ice crystals.”

“I see. It’s certainly an easy name for me to remember.”

“When Elsa first hired me, I made the joke that they should have gone with Frost Yourself since we sell jewelry, but she didn’t get the reference until I showed her a clip from the movie.”

“How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days?” he answered, as if on cue.

It seemed this man was full of surprises. “That’s the one.” What were the chances that she’d come across a guy who shared her love for mediocre rom coms from the early 2000s? She’d tried to watch Love Actually with Graham once; he’d yawned the whole time.

A moment of silence passed between them. Emma looked down at the device she still held and realized he was waiting for her to sign for the delivery. Of course he wasn’t standing there to make idle conversation, he had a job to get back to. Like the last time, she quickly signed on the screen and returned the device to him.

“Have a nice day, Miss Swan.”

“You too, um—” she paused, not wanting to call him “UPS guy” to his face.

“Killian Jones.” She took his hand when he offered it. But instead of shaking hers, he briefly brought it to his lips.

Emma took a sharp intake of breath that she hoped wasn’t audible. The only time she’d ever seen a man kiss a woman’s hand was in one of those period movies Mary Margaret made her watch every now and then.

But she didn’t necessarily mind it. Maybe more men should take notes from their predecessors. Or rather, the actors playing them. Technicalities.

“Right. You too. Have a nice day, that is.”

He flashed her another smile before leaving. Emma watched him return to his truck, not hearing the footsteps coming up behind her.

“I didn’t realize we were getting so friendly with the new UPS driver.”

She jumped and turned to see Elsa, who sported a knowing grin. “Clearly that paperwork didn’t take as long to get through as you’d expected.”

“No, and I’m glad,” said Elsa. “Otherwise I would have missed your little interaction just now.”

“What was there to miss? He just dropped off a few packages, one of which I hope is wrapping paper refills. Regina wasn’t exactly nice a few days ago when I explained that we only had two options for her to choose from, and neither were red.”

“She should just be grateful she got it wrapped for free. Beggars can’t be choosers. But back to my point,” Elsa continued. “He kissed your hand, and you looked like you wanted to devour him.”

Oh no. “Did I really?”

“I don’t blame you; he’s gorgeous. Although I can’t exactly allow said devouring to take place on the sales floor, even though it would probably add some much needed excitement to our day.”

“Ha ha.” She hope Elsa wouldn’t notice her cheeks reddening; it would only make the teasing worse. And she had been one of the few people who never tried to set Emma up with someone or meddle in her love life. “Don’t even get started with me about Killian, though. He’s just our UPS driver. I’ll probably see him for a collective five minutes a week max.”

“If you say so. But if you have a chance at any time during those five minutes, can you find out if he has a brother?”

Anna’s head popped up from behind the shoe fixture she’d been reorganizing. “Who has a brother? Is he cute?”

“You’re married,” Emma and Elsa reminded her in unison.

Anna rolled her eyes. “That doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate a nice face. I’ll make it a point to be lurking the next time I see him come by.”

Despite Elsa’s insistence, the chances of finding out anything else about Killian during his deliveries were minimal. Something told Emma it wasn’t a great idea to play twenty questions while he was trying to unload packages.

At least she had a name to put with the face now. A very nice face (thanks, Anna) that she thought about often that night while she ate pretzels and watched Pride & Prejudice without any prompting from Mary Margaret. She even added a few paragraphs to one of her old short story drafts afterward. Maybe something was changing.

But even if the perceptions she’d inadvertently made were inaccurate, even if she knew more about him (or even knew him well), that didn’t mean getting to know him more than necessary was the best idea for either of them. She already received enough pity or disdain — sometimes both —from everyone else in Storybrooke. The girl who moved back home after a horrendous breakup no one knew the details of. The unsuccessful college student who’d dropped out her junior year to find herself working retail to keep a roof over her head. If only they knew.

So, yes, it was better to keep her distance. No matter what her pulse did when she saw him approaching. Or when he’d kissed her hand. Distance was best for everyone.

But distance was tricky to maintain when someone frequently came to the place where she spent most of her time. Killian made deliveries twice the following week, and three times during the one after. (Thankfully, those deliveries always happened while Elsa and Anna were busy elsewhere.) Each of their additional encounters were similar to the first, brief but with enough friendly conversation that only made her want to know more about him: What made him start driving with UPS? When had he moved to America and why? What did he like to binge watch on Netflix? Was he single?

That last question wasn’t one Emma truly needed answered. She was just curious. They were getting somewhat friendly, and friends knew these things about each other. Didn’t they?

Regardless, something about Killian Jones captivated her in a way she couldn’t explain. And she wasn't sure just how to feel about it.

As summer ended, the new fall merchandise quickly began arriving. Their tank tops and sandals were replaced with sweaters and boots Killian brought in, not to mention beanies, scarves, and jackets Emma knew she would take advantage of once the temperature dropped. On one of the first cool mornings, Killian made his delivery wearing a standard UPS jacket over his regular uniform. How he still managed to make the bulky brown option look good was something she couldn’t understand.

The two of them continued to make casual conversation when he came by, often on a number of different topics depending on the day. There was one Wednesday morning she’d worn a blush colored blouse and he made the comment that he was glad she’d remembered to wear pink. And another day when something he said reminded her of that one quote from Legally Blonde. It seemed he shared her affinity for 2000s rom coms after all. She would have to ask him about that sometime when she wasn’t overthinking every one of their interactions.

One of the biggest downfalls to retail was working almost every weekend. Emma seldom, if ever, had a Friday night or Saturday free without requesting to be off several weeks in advance. She didn’t always mind. It wasn’t as if she had a long list of prospective plans to keep her busy. And even when she did have to work, her friends occasionally talked her into doing something after the store closed, regardless of how exhausted she was or how much she’d be kicking herself for it in the morning.

Her free Saturday in October just so happened to be the weekend of Ruby’s thirtieth birthday. Her friend typically liked to do something big for the day, like a trip down to Boston or New York. This year, however, Ruby had surprised everyone by asking that they meet up at The Rabbit Hole. Her and Mulan’s wedding was the next Sunday, and they both were too swamped with the last of the wedding planning for her to feel up to doing more.

Emma found herself sitting between Mulan and Belle at the large table they’d chosen in the middle of the bar, sipping at her drink as her friends teased Ruby about being another year older.

“You do realize you’re two years older than she is, don’t you?” she reminded David after he made a joke about people in their thirties, which also should have applied to him.

He shrugged. “That’s beside the point. It’s not my birthday.”

“No. But it will be in three months, which means I’m gonna start preparing all kinds of old man jokes for you now.”

“Why do I have the feeling my wife is going to join you on that?”

“Because I most definitely am,” Mary Margaret piped up from her seat on his other side.

As much as she preferred staying home in front of the TV on her nights off, Emma had to admit it was nice getting to go out and have fun without waking up early for work the next morning. Most of the people who’d shown up to celebrate Ruby were ones she hadn’t seen in far too long.

It was hard to ignore how Graham insisted on keeping his distance from her, sitting at the far end of the table and looking away if she merely glanced in his general direction. But if that was how he chose to act, then fine. She’d done her best to break things off as amicably as possible; it wasn’t her fault he’d chosen to become so bitter.

They’d been at the bar a little over an hour when two men entered the room. The one in front, blue eyed with dark curly hair, glanced over at their table, a look of recognition in his eyes when he caught sight of David. Her friend waved him over, and it was only when he started approaching that Emma got a look at the person he’d arrived with.

“Killian?”

He did a double take when he saw her, eyes widening before his lips parted into a wide grin. “Hello, Swan.”

The other man paused in the middle of the conversation he’d just started with David and looked between the two of them. “Little brother, you two know each other?”

Emma could see the resemblance now that the relationship was clarified: Killian and his brother didn’t look identical by any means, but they had they same defined cheekbones and blue eyes, although Killian’s were still bluer somehow, probably a result of the dark blue button down shirt he wore.

(It was a bit odd to see him in something besides his standard brown uniform. Not that she was complaining. Not at all.)

“Liam, you ought to know by now that there are few people in town I haven't made deliveries to at some point or another. Emma works at Crystalline.”

“The one the Frost sisters own?” It was hard to miss the way the man — Liam, she supposed — perked up at the mention of her bosses.

“Yes, that’s the one Elsa owns, since I know that’s what you were really asking.”

Well, this was interesting. Elsa had no idea that she was onto something when she’d joked about Killian having a brother.

She turned back to David and Liam. “So, how do you two know each other?”

“Liam’s daughter is in Leo’s class at school,” David explained. “I hear stories about Harper every day. He loves her.”

“Bloody hell, don’t tell me that! I thought I had at least another decade before she and I would have to discuss boys.”

The two of them continued to chat about their children while Emma became fixated on Killian again. She wanted to say something to him, but what? That it was nice to see him outside of her workplace? She hated forced small talk and didn’t want to trap either of them in an awkward conversation.

She went back to what David had just said about Liam having a daughter, and the comments he and Killian had made that hinted he was interested in Elsa. A quick glance at his left hand showed that he wasn’t wearing a ring, but that didn’t necessarily mean much. Could she broach the subject to Killian without appearing to cross a line? Elsa may be her boss, but Emma also considered her a friend. Maybe she was sticking her nose where it didn’t belong, but she’d want someone to do the same for her and spot any potential red flags.

Emma’s train of thought was broken by Mulan getting up and walking over to the jukebox. Soon, the opening notes of “Single Ladies” played from the speakers, and Mulan came back over to drag Ruby to dance.

Emma glanced back at Killian. He looked somewhat shy standing there alone, one hand in the front pocket of his jeans and the other scratching behind his ear. Liam had clearly abandoned him for a conversation with David, probably discussing Leo’s intentions with his daughter.

“You can have a seat if you want,” she told him, nodding to the now empty seat beside her. “Something tells me the lovebirds won’t be coming back any time soon.”

“Something tells me you’re right. I’d hate to be a bother though,” he added, seeming to notice the space (or lack thereof) between the now empty seat and her own.

“No bother. Plus, the bar stools here are ridiculously uncomfortable.”

“I can’t argue with that.”

It wasn’t until he sat down beside her that Emma was aware of just how tightly the chairs had been packed around their small table. Killian’s right thigh and shoulder were nearly pressed against her own. It normally would not have been a situation she’d object to, but she now realized how much personal space she was sharing with an attractive man she barely knew (and had embarrassed herself in front of on at least one occasion.)

“I can’t get over the irony of Mulan choosing a song that basically celebrates being single to dance with her fiancee to,” Emma blurted out when it occurred to her. “And a few weeks before their wedding at that.”

“Something tells me she’s too inebriated to care considering they’ve made their own dance floor in a bar that doesn’t actually have one.”

“Touche.”

They both laughed. Maybe making conversation with him outside of work was easier than she’d assumed.

“I take it you have the night off?” he asked. “Not to sound intrusive; I just noticed the list of store hours on one of my last deliveries.��

“I do. Saturday’s off are few and far between for me, so I try to make the most of them. Tonight, that’s celebrating my friend’s birthday even though she’s clearly done paying attention to any of us.” They both glanced back over at Mulan and Ruby, who had started slow dancing in the middle of the room. Emma wouldn’t be surprised if they made an excuse to leave soon, Ruby’s birthday celebration be damned.

“I understand about your weekends,” said Killian. “I’m lucky enough to have a fairly regular work schedule, but Liam is an ER nurse on top of being a single father, so his free time is quite limited. He’s great at his job and an even better dad, but I like to make sure he gets to go out and do something for his own enjoyment every now and then.”

His comment about Liam being single cleared her earlier suspicion. She didn’t feel comfortable asking what had happened to his niece’s mother, so they discussed the child herself instead. Emma learned that Harper was four years old and already a spitfire, keeping both Liam and Killian on their toes at any given moment. She found out that the two of them had moved from England to the States as teenagers, where Liam went to nursing school and Killian enlisted in the Navy.

“How long have you been driving?”

“About two years. I did some truck driving in the Navy and was able to get my CDL while I was still enlisted. It wasn’t my dream career field by any means, but it paid decently, not to mention it wouldn’t keep me confined to the same cubicle or office all week long. I applied at UPS because I didn’t like the idea of being gone for days at a time on a regular basis. This way, I get most weekends and holidays off, and have an idea of what time I’ll arrive home every night.”

“Seems like you’ve got a decent arrangement there then.”

“Aye. I like having a consistent schedule most of the time. The driving helps clear my head when I need it to.” He paused and Emma saw what looked like a frown tugging at the corner of his lips. “But enough about me. I’ve gathered next to nothing about you so far. Well, other than the fact that I interrupt your work day at least twice per week, sometimes more, but I don’t think that counts.”

He clearly didn’t want to discuss whatever it was driving helped clear his head from. “You say that like it’s a bad thing. If I’m being honest, your ‘interruptions’ are a nice, albeit brief, distraction from the monotony that just causes me to question what I’m doing there.”

The frown reappeared. “You don’t like your job?”

“I wouldn’t say I dislike it. Elsa and Anna are great. It’s nice knowing I get the same day off every week. And I save forty-two percent on my shoes.”

“But?”

She shrugged. “I mean, that’s about it. Nothing ever happens. It’s not that we don’t get business or anything, but it’s not the kind of store people feel the need to come into on a regular basis, like Target or something. I spend most of my shift being bored. Which really just gives me more time to think about where I’m at in life — more like where I’m not at in life — and how unfulfilled I am with, well, everything.”

She hadn’t expected to open that can of worms tonight, but once she started, it was hard to hold back everything she’d been keeping to herself for months now.

“I take it retail wasn’t your first choice when it came to finding a career?”

“Far from it.” She laughed dryly. “I was a creative writing major in college. So many people in Storybrooke gave me hell about it, said I’d never be able to do anything with my degree. But I didn’t care. I just loved writing and knew that’s what I wanted to do with my life. Until my junior year anyway.”

“What happened then?”

“I took an upper level Writing Fiction course during the fall semester. I was really excited about it because the professor was a fairly successful author, and I’d always had a conflict with another class before that kept me from taking anything with him. To make a long story short, the class was great at first. I got along well with the professor, and he seemed to like the projects I turned in for him. He liked my boyfriend’s projects even more.”

She forced down the lump forming in her throat and took a quick sip of her beer. Talking about Neal became a bit less difficult over time, but that didn’t mean it was easy either. “He was a writing student too. We met sophomore year in an intro creative writing course. I fell for him right away despite all the warning signs: he cut class a lot, was disrespectful to me — to all women, for that matter — and thought he could get away with anything because his dad was loaded. But, despite all this, he told me he loved me. And I fell for it.

“Anyway, back to the class we had together. I noticed every now and then that the professor would make a comment or say something overly friendly that felt a lot like flirting. I never brought it up with Neal outside of class since I thought he’d tell me I was overreacting.” Emma now saw the fact that she thought that way about him should have been a red flag in itself. “So, the end of the semester comes around. Our final was to write a short story. We turned them in to him before classes ended and then were supposed to come by his office during finals week to pick them up to see our grade and hear any comments he had for us.”

She paused to take a long sip of her drink. She had told this story a handful of times since it happened, but the next part never got much easier to share. “I went by as soon as his office hours started. I had worked really hard on the story I submitted — like, spent weeks planning and pulled several all-nighters to write hard. Anyway, I get to his office and he tells me to take a seat. I figured he wanted to talk to me about the story. And he did...for a few minutes anyway.”

Killian listened as she told him about the professor quickly changing the subject and talking instead about how much he'd enjoyed having Emma as part of his class. How he'd enjoyed it so much that he came over and put a hand on her knee while making the comment that he thought he would enjoy having her in other environments too. “I bolted. I was so scared of what he might do; I never even found out what my grade was. Not that it really mattered in retrospect.”

“Bloody wanker,” Killian muttered. “I’m glad you got away from him when you did. What happened after that?”

“I went to Neal. I ran straight to his apartment and told him everything, thinking he would at least try to, y’know, help me or be supportive or something.” Emma shook her head and laughed dryly. To think she was naive enough to think he’d react differently than he actually did. “He accused me of making it all up. He said I was jealous that he and the professor got on so well, and that I came up with a story to have attention on me instead. To top it all off, he said I was a shitty writer who would never amount to anything outside of school.”

There was a sour expression on Killian’s face. “Please tell me you broke up with him.”

“I did.” She sighed and smiled sadly to herself. “The damage was done though. I withdrew from school and left the city as soon as I could. I came back to Storybrooke and had intended to only stay for a few months and then reapply somewhere else, but I never got around to it for one reason or another.” One reason being the fear of being stuck with another sleazy professor. Another being how she’d constantly questioned her potential as a writer since those comments from Neal. She wasn’t sure she could risk the time, energy, and funds required to go back to school if it was all just going to crash and burn for her in the end. It was also why making progress on any story had felt like pulling teeth ever since.

She hated that he and his words still got to her like they did almost eight years later.

“I’m sorry you were treated so terribly in both circumstances. Truly.” Something about the way his eyes softened as she’d spoken made her believe he wasn’t just speaking out of pity. It seemed that he genuinely cared. “And perhaps I’m overstepping here since I’m simply the man who makes deliveries to your workplace, but from what I’ve gathered over the past few weeks, you appear to be a strong, compassionate, and capable woman who can do anything she sets her mind to. Whether it be venturing into another career field or going back to school, I’m sure you’ll figure out what’s best for you and do it well.”

Emma stared at him for a moment, too dumbfounded to speak. She had just poured her heart out to a man who still felt like little more than an acquaintance. And yet he wasn’t judging her, criticizing her, or even looking at her like she’d lost her mind, and she would have normally expected as much. But Killian seemed to get it: her past and her fears that the future would be no different.

She found herself thinking that maybe Killian Jones had come to understand her more during their first lengthy conversation than anyone else had in years.

The idea didn’t scare her nearly as much as it once would have.

As fate would have it, Killian came by Crystalline with a delivery first thing the following Monday morning. She’d spent most of the weekend both taking his words to heart and wondering if he’d act differently after their conversation. But, to her relief, he entered the store with the same smile on his face she’d become used to seeing with his arrival.

“Good morning, Swan.”

“Morning. What have you got for us today?” There were three or four boxes stacked on his hand truck.

“Oh, this is just the first load. There’s at least seven more where those came from.”

Emma quickly helped him move the boxes to their normal waiting place by the door while he went to retrieve the rest of their packages. She knew the rest of their winter merchandise for the holidays was supposed to arrive soon, but she hadn’t expected so much of it to come at once. She, Elsa, and Anna were going to have a whole lot of fun sorting it out over the next few days.

She stood there feeling somewhat awkward as he finished unloading, wanting to say something to him about the other night at the bar, but not knowing exactly what. She was still contemplating it when she signed for the delivery. “What do you call this thing, anyway?” she asked. “I’ve just been calling it ‘UPS device thing’ in my head, but I’m sure there’s a technical term for it.”

Killian chuckled. “It’s called a diad. Stands for Delivery Information Acquisition Device — so you weren’t too far off.”

“Huh. Maybe I should come work with you then, considering I already know so much about how things work.”

“I’d certainly prefer you to some of the ride alongs I’ve had before. Remind me to tell you about what happened on Will Scarlet’s first day sometime.”

“Will do,” she confirmed, handing the device — diad — back to Killian. He clipped it back to his belt and was turning to leave when she spoke up. “Killian?”

“Yes, love?”

“Are we friends? Sorry,” she continued when his eyebrow shot up to his hairline. “It’s just that we see each other pretty regularly and I actually enjoy our conversations, and you let me spill my guts to you Saturday night without judging me and that seems like something a friend would do. But for all I know, you might not even want to be my friend. Which makes this really awkward and—”

“Hey,” he interrupted. “I would like nothing more than to be friends with you, Swan. Truthfully, I’ve thought of you as a friend for some time now. And it’s nice — no one else I know has the same penchant for cocoa and romantic comedies.”

“I’m one of a kind, I guess.”

“That you are.”

“Will I see you at the wedding this weekend?”

“Aye. Liam and I will both be attending, him more so not to let Ruby down.” Another fact Emma had learned at the bar was that Liam and Ruby were classmates in nursing school and had remained friends since. “Weddings haven’t exactly been one of his favorite social events since Harper’s mother passed.”

Emma’s heart sank. She’d never been married, but could only imagine what it felt like to attend an event where people celebrated the very thing you’d lost. It may have stung when Neal turned his back on her, but she knew it had to be worse when someone was taken away unexpectedly, leaving you to wonder how much more time you could have had together.

“I get that,” she told Killian. “He’s really lucky to have you around, though.”

The responding smile he gave her didn’t reach his eyes. He glanced back to the stack of boxes he’d brought instead. “Yes, well. If that’s the last of it, I’m afraid I have to keep going. Goodbye, Swan.”

Emma stood there frozen and perplexed as she watched him go. Had something she said about him or Liam that struck a nerve? The thought nagged at her over the next few days, causing her to wonder if she’d unknowingly caused some kind of problem just minutes after confirming their friendship.

But when he arrived for their next delivery on Thursday morning, he was himself, charming and witty as ever. Emma was glad to see him act as if nothing had changed, but she knew there was much left to learn about Killian Jones.

Ruby and Mulan’s wedding took place on Sunday afternoon in the yard behind their house. The space had been adorned with fall decor in various shades of orange, yellow, and of course, Ruby’s signature red. The ceremony itself was simple, no wedding party or long introduction from the officiant. But the vows were touching and heartfelt. Emma found herself wiping her eyes more than once at both women’s words, and then again when they were pronounced as each other’s wives.

The reception that followed the ceremony, however, was anything but simple. There was a great deal of food, music, and alcohol, not unlike the celebration they’d had for Ruby’s birthday the weekend before. There was, however, a makeshift dance floor set up in the yard, where the brides once again ignored everyone else while they alternated between slow dancing and spinning each other around in circles. (Funny enough, no one was playing “Single Ladies” this time.)

Emma sat at one of the round tables placed around the dance floor, eating what may or may not have been her second slice of wedding cake while she and her girl friends chatted about a handful of different things: the recipe Mary Margaret had recently found for chocolate coconut brownies, what they’d each been watching on Netflix, and the town’s upcoming fall festival.

“Speaking of approaching events, I do believe someone has a birthday soon,” said Belle, glancing toward Emma, a warm smile on her face.

She wasn’t sure whether to smile back or sigh in defeat. Her birthday was on Wednesday, but it wasn’t something she enjoyed celebrating nearly as much as someone like Ruby or her other friends. And everyone knew this, although their knowledge on the reason why was minimal.

What was the point in celebrating a day that only reminded her of what she didn’t have? Because, in spite of any gifts or attention her friends might try to shower her with, she was never able to focus on anything but what the day signified and the questions she may never have answers to. The main one being why was she abandoned outside of Storybrooke just after (if not on) the day in question.

She forced down the lump quickly forming in her throat. Her friends’ wedding was the last place she wanted to reopen those old wounds. “I need more punch!” she announced, getting to her feet. “Anyone else?” Not waiting to hear anyone’s answers, she took her mostly full cup to the punch bowl at a table on the other side of the yard.

Emma topped off her drink and grabbed a handful of crackers she didn’t actually want just to appear preoccupied. She didn’t feel up for going back to her seat just yet.

Then it hit her: she had yet to come across Killian or his brother. Hadn’t he said they were coming?

A hand tapped Emma’s shoulder just as she began looking through the crowd for a familiar face. She turned to see bright blue eyes and that smile she’d become so partial to. “Hello, Swan.”

All of the tension seemed to leave her when he said her name. “Hey, Killian.” He wore a well-fitting navy suit with a crisp white shirt. How he kept finding things to wear that made his eyes look even more blue was lost to her. “Nice ceremony, huh?”

“Aye. I believe that was the most enthusiastic kiss I’ve ever witnessed at a wedding.”

“This is Ruby we’re talking about. There was little chance of her keeping things PG, wedding or not.”

“A valid point.”

He looked over to her friends’ table where she’d been sitting earlier. “I hope I’m not keeping you from your friends. I’d been looking for you and wanted to speak while I had a moment.”

“No, you’re not. I was honestly trying to avoid them. Let’s just say they’d brought up a subject I wasn’t up for discussing today,” she continued at his questioning look‍.

“That’s certainly understandable. In that case, I’m willing to distract you for as long as you may need it.”

“Okay, weird question. Your brother’s here, right?”

“He is. Although I’m not quite sure why you think that’s an odd thing to ask.”

“Well, that’s what I was getting to. I got the idea at The Rabbit Hole last week that he has a thing for Elsa?”

“That’s an understatement. Liam has been absolutely smitten since he was introduced to her at the Miner’s Day celebration back in the spring. But I don’t believe he’s made much of an effort to get to know her. He’s never come out and said as much to me, but thanks to a few bad experiences he’s had with dating over the past few years, it seems he thinks that she wouldn’t be interested since he has a child.’

She wasn’t sure just how to respond to that, mostly because she understood. The more a person had lost and been hurt, the harder it became to open your heart back up to something (or, in this case, someone) new again. And, truly, she didn’t know how Elsa would feel about potentially dating a single father. But she did know that both she and Liam deserved to be happy.

“I obviously can't speak for Elsa or her feelings, but I can put in a good word for Liam if you don't think he'd mind me intervening.”

(Had she gone and turned into Mary Margaret?)

Killian's answering smile made her stomach swoop in a way that had nothing to do with the amount of alcohol in the punch. He was just unfairly attractive and she liked seeing him happy, that was all. “I think he'd appreciate that quite a bit. And even if he did mind, I'm sure he wouldn't anymore if it works in his favor.”

She returned to her table a moment later, this time taking the empty chair next to Elsa rather than the one she'd been sitting in before. “Hey. So, I have a question.”

“Sure. What is it?”

“You remember that day when you saw Killian for the first time and you made that comment about him having a brother?”

Elsa glanced at her and raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow. “I’m listening.”

“Well, you're in luck. He does have an older brother, Liam. Apparently you met him at the Miner’s Day festival.”

“Wait, that Liam? He's Killian’s brother?”

“So you remember him?”

“Yes, I do. I just remember thinking there had to be some kind of catch for him to be so good looking, a wife or a criminal past or something.”

“There's no criminal past that I know of, and no wife. But he is a widower and a dad to a little girl. Would you be okay with that?”

Elsa pursed her lips. “It's not something I've given much thought to. I don't think I've ever dated someone with a kid before. But if he’s a good guy, and a good dad to his daughter, I see no reason to object.”

“I was hoping you’d say something like that.” She looked back over to where she’d left Killian at the punch bowl, where he now stood talking to Liam. Smiling at Elsa, she nodded in their direction. “He’s over there with Killian now if you want an excuse to go get another drink. You kind of know Killian already from the store, and something tells me it won’t be hard for you to get introduced.”

Her smile grew as Elsa’s face lit up. “I am getting thirsty. If you’ll excuse me.” She stood and went over to the brothers, not even remembering to take her cup with her.

Emma watched as she spoke to Killian first, then turned to Liam, obviously feigning ignorance. Killian’s gestures indicated he was making introductions between the two of them. She couldn’t see Liam’s face since his back was turned to her, but Killian shot her a wink that said all she needed to know.

She eagerly anticipated hearing details about the meeting from Elsa at work the next day, not wanting to ask intrusive questions, but hoping her boss would choose to bring it up. All she mentioned was that Liam was “just as charming as his brother” and had made a comment about hoping he’d see her at the town’s fall festival the night before Halloween. But there was color to her cheeks and a gleam in her eye when she spoke of it.

Killian’s first delivery of the week happened on Wednesday, the day Emma turned twenty-eight. Per her request, Elsa and Anna had kept the surprises minimal, although there was a cupcake in the break room she looked forward to eating on her lunch break. Chocolate was a hard thing to object, even if she objected everything else about the day in question.

Seeing the familiar truck turn the corner, Emma went to open the front door and wait for Killian as she usually did. Was it weird for her to do that? She was just trying to make his delivery easier. And maybe she looked forward to seeing him. Because they were friends.

It was odd not to see him pulling in a hand truck, but instead carrying a single package. “Good morning, love.”

“Hey. Is that all today?”

“Aye. Don’t be alarmed, though. I’m sure I’ll have at least a dozen for you next time.”

“You’re probably right.” She took the package from him, looking for a name on the return address. It was just boring office supplies.

Checking to make sure Elsa wasn’t out on the floor, she asked “Has Liam said anything about Sunday? My boss is being minimal with the details.”

Killian barked out a laugh. “My brother has been anything but minimal. I haven’t heard him speak of anything else since. I’d give him hell about it if I wasn’t so glad to see him happy, even if they’ve only had one real conversation together.”

“Sometimes one conversation might be all it takes.”

It was when she was signing her name on the diad (and feeling proud of herself for remembering it’s actual name) that the idea came to her. “Killian? Are you doing anything tonight?”

He considered it for a moment. “Nothing besides going home after my shift and finding something on TV to entertain me for a bit. Why do you ask?”

“Would you maybe want to come over and watch a movie? As friends,” she quickly added, hoping he wouldn’t detect any desperation in her voice. “I was going to order pizza and find something to watch, and just figured it would be nice to have the company. I mean, don’t feel obligated or anything if you have something better to do. I just thought I’d offer.”

His following silence and perplexed expression were enough to make her regret asking. She’d made it clear that it was meant to be strictly friendly, but maybe the invitation still hadn’t come across the way she’d wanted it to.

But then after what felt like an eternity (probably a few seconds in actuality), a grin broke out across his face. “I would like nothing more, Swan. As long as you’re sure I wouldn’t be imposing on you.”

“Of course not. You’ll probably be doing me a favor by not making me eat the pizza alone since I can never finish it all and get stuck with leftovers for, like, five days afterward.”

“In that case, I expected to be well-compensated for my assistance.”

She refused to let her mind run away with that idea in public. “We’ll see.”

Emma then remembered she didn’t have as much as a phone number for him. All of their interactions so far had been face to face. “Here.” She pulled her phone out of her back pocket, opened the screen to start a new text, and handed it to him. “Put your number in there, and I’ll text you my address. Not that it’s that hard to find in a town this small, but still. Six-thirty work for you?”

“Sounds great. I look forward to it.”

By that evening, she was equal parts excited and terrified. She’d spent most of the day wondering if inviting him over had been a mistake. Not because she didn’t want to spend time with him, but because of how many things could go wrong.

There was a knock on the door at six twenty-eight. Emma took a deep breath and went to answer it, glancing at herself in the hall mirror and hoping she didn’t look like she was having an internal crisis.

“You’re right on time.”

“Of course. It would be bad form to keep a lady waiting.”

“Honestly, where did you learn to talk like that?”

“A number of different places. My mum had a penchant for Jane Austen, for one. Liam and I were forced to sit through that bloody BBC series so many times I practically had it memorized by the time I was ten years old.” He rolled his eyes but laughed when he spoke.

At least she knew that’s where the hand kissing had come from. “I’m partial to the 2005 movie myself. What does she think about that one?”

Killian’s smile vanished. “I’m afraid I don’t know. She passed that same year.”

“Oh my gosh. Killian, I’m so-”

He dismissed the attempted apology. “It’s alright, Swan. You didn’t know. She was sick for quite some time, but she did ensure my grammar skills were impeccable.”

“That they are. And speaking of impeccable, the pizza place was running a special. So I got garlic knots too.” Food was her go to method for deflecting awkwardness, it seemed.

“You’re quickly learning the way to my heart.”

They settled onto opposite ends of her couch with the pizza box and bag of garlic knots between them, not even bothering with plates. Emma turned on the TV and opened Netflix. Her first suggestion was going to be Love Actually, but maybe something without Colin Firth would be a better option after what he’d just shared with her.

“I’ve learned without having to ask that 2000s rom coms seem to be a guilty pleasure for you too. Any suggestions?”

“I’m open to anything. Although I did see Love Actually was back on Netflix if you’re not one of those people who thinks it’s too early for Christmas movies.”

Huh. Maybe she’d been wrong. And maybe he was a mind reader.

“Are you kidding? It’s never too early for Christmas movies.”

“As I just said, you are learning the way to my heart.”

Almost everything she learned about Killian continued to surprise her. And there was so much more she wanted to know. How he took his coffee, what his favorite subject in school had been, if he spoke any other languages, topics he had strong opinions on. He was like an addictive prologue that made her want to stop and binge read the rest of the story.

They sat in comfortable silence for the first half hour or so of the movie, eating the pizza and garlic knots and occasionally making a comment about a specific scene or line.

“What’s your favorite storyline?” she asked him. “And please don’t say the Alan Rickman one, or I’ll be forced to question this friendship.”

“Of course not. He was a bloody wanker to his wife. No one deserves to be treated like that.”

“Okay, good. Friendship officially saved.”

He let out a dramatic sigh of relief. Emma laughed and rolled her eyes. “In all seriousness, however, I do quite like Jamie and Aurélia’s story. They’re able to fall in love despite an inability to communicate, and then he goes and learns another language for the sake of confessing his feelings. It’s quite romantic.”

Of all the things about Killian that she’d learned so far, this surprised her the least. Of course he’d be the romantic type, maybe not with flowers and chocolate and other material things, but in his actions, the things he would do to to show someone they were loved.

“What about you, Swan?” His voice broke her train of thought. “Your favorite storyline, I mean.”

Oh, right. They’d been having a conversation. “That’s easy. David and Natalie.”

“Because of Hugh Grant?” he teased.

“No. Because she got the kind of support I wanted when he found out about everything with the president.” He placed the blame where it was due and never expected the victim to take responsibility for a horrible man’s decisions.

Killian’s smile instantly faded. “Bloody hell. I’m sorry, love. I should have been more considerate.”

“No, it’s fine. Really,” she continued when he attempted to protest. “I mean, that whole situation in itself isn’t fine, but I know you didn’t mean anything by asking. It’s just...well, frankly, today’s not a great day for me and I guess it’s made me reflect on all of it a lot more than usual.”

He pursed his lips before he spoke. “Is there anything you’d like to talk about?”

Here goes nothing, she thought. “Well, today’s my birthday. I didn’t mention it before because it’s not something I really like having a lot of attention on. To be frank, I don’t have a family, I never have. I was found on the side of the road right after I was born and grew up in foster care. The only reason I was able to go to college was because I lucked out and got a scholarship through the high school. And you already know how that ended.

“Don’t get me wrong, I know I have a lot of great things in my life that I’m thankful for. I have friends who are like family to me. I have a job, that, despite my frustrations with it, still pays the bills and keeps me on my feet. But today makes it hard for me not to wonder where I could be now if things had gone differently. If my parents had kept me, if a family had wanted to adopt me, if my first love hadn’t been the kind of man to make me question every bit of my worth. Along with every other decision I’ve ever made.”

She turned to him. “I’m sorry to invite you over and then dump all of this on you. I honestly wasn’t intending on bringing any of it up. I just knew I didn’t want to be alone tonight, and, well, you seem to understand me a lot more than most people do.”

They sat in silence for a moment. Emma’s heart dropped and she felt her palms grow clammy. She’d finally done it. She’d said too much and was pushing him away without even trying.

Just as she was preparing a long, drawn out apology, Killian broke the silence. “You know Liam and I lost our mother. She took us and left our sorry excuse of a father when we were young, and we lived in Boston until she passed. Despite the fact that I was nearly grown, Liam felt as if he had to look out for me for years after. I enlisted in the Navy both because I couldn’t think of a better option after school, and so he could feel he had the freedom to go to nursing school like he’d always wanted.

“My first few years are a bit of a blur now. I was still consumed with grief over losing Mum, and turned to whatever I could to avoid facing it — drinking, gambling, women. Whatever could distract me. Things went on like that until I met Milah when I was twenty-three and stationed on the West Coast. She was older, adventurous, free-spirited, everything my own demons kept me from being. She was also married, something I knew from the beginning but promptly ignored until I was in too deep.”

Emma listened as he explained how he received news that he would be transferred back to the northeast. How he’d gone to Milah and asked her to come with him so they could have a fresh start together. Instead, he’d been crushed when she objected — despite whatever connection the two of them had, she couldn’t leave her husband and their life behind.

“And that was it. I assumed there was no chance of me convincing her otherwise, despite how much I wanted to. So I left and went on to my next post. I’d been there less than two weeks before I heard from one of my old mates that she’d been killed in a boating accident.”

If she’d thought her heart couldn’t sink any lower, she was wrong. “Oh, Killian.”

“I was a wreck for months. I told myself if I’d tried harder, if I’d fought for us, that she might have come with me and would have still been alive. The only thing that kept me from spiraling back into grief was Liam. When he found out, he threatened to leave school to make sure I didn’t go off the deep end. I knew I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I got in the way of his dream. And I started driving. I can’t explain how or why, but being out on the road gave me the release I hadn’t been able to find elsewhere.”

He reached over and took her hand in his. “My point behind all this, Swan, is yes, I do understand you. Our pasts may be different where circumstances are concerned, but I know all too well the feeling of questioning how your life could have been different or if you’re where you’re supposed to be. It’s okay to be confused or even upset about how some things have turned out, but I really hope you won’t think less of yourself for it.”

It was difficult to hold back the tears she felt pricking her eyes. She had no desire to cry in front of him after everything else, even though she knew he wouldn’t judge her for it. “How do you always know exactly what to say to me?”

“It’s like you said, love: you and I, we understand each other.” He considered the thought again. “Then again, maybe it’s just all part of my instinctive charm.”

She rolled her eyes and whacked his shoulder with a throw pillow.

Long after the movie ended and Killian had left, Emma found herself lying awake in bed as she considered their earlier conversation. She’d known he was nothing like Neal before she opened up and told him about her past. (Truthfully, she’d known he was a better man than Neal from the day they’d met.) Still, the way he listened, accepted her for who she was, and tried to encourage her when she needed it was nothing like she’d expected.

She also didn’t expect that abnormal thing her pulse did when the UPS truck arrived at Crystalline now. Or when he’d taken her hand earlier. Or when he smiled, laughed, or even so much as cracked a corny joke in her presence.

Everything she’d wanted but had never been able to find with Graham.

Shit. Had she really gone and fallen for her UPS driver?

The answer, she soon learned, was an absolute yes.

Killian was constantly on her mind over the next few days. She thought of him every time she passed a UPS truck on the road, or when one of the literary memes pages she followed on Instagram posted something related to Pride & Prejudice. And his deliveries, which were already one of the better parts of her work days, soon became something she eagerly awaited, despite feeling silly for it.

Emma only hoped that if there had been a shift in her demeanor or actions since the revelation on her birthday that he wouldn’t notice.

And he wasn’t the only thing often on her mind, either. She wasn’t even looking for writing opportunities when one fell into her lap. She’d been online, researching the English and creative writing programs at a handful of colleges in Portland, more for curiosity’s sake than anything else. It was still uncertain when or even if she would be able to go back, but there was no harm in looking, right? That's when she found the promotion for a Young Fiction Writing contest open to residents of Maine under 30.

A few months ago, she might have glanced over the details and moved on. But something made her stop and carefully read through the description and guidelines. It wasn't necessarily the particular contest itself that stood out to her; it was standard as far as events like it were concerned.

No, what stood out to Emma was the confidence she hadn't felt in years when it came to writing. Because, for once, her immediate reaction wasn't thoughts of doubt or self loathing. She felt as if she could actually get it a shot. Even though the deadline was less than a week away.

Within minutes, she'd bookmarked the posting and opened the word document for a short story she'd written about seventy percent of before abandoning it several months earlier. It was an adventure story about a runaway princess who leaves home after a dictator takes over her kingdom, and finds unexpected romance with a reformed pirate as they team up to overthrow him.

She had never even finished plotting the last quarter of the story. It was part of her cycle of getting excited about an idea, writing part of it, and then giving up at some point thanks to doubt and insecurity.

But cycles could be broken.

For the rest of the night, she went back and forth between her laptop and the notebook she used to jot down story ideas and managed to come up with the bare bones for the remainder of the story. The rest of the details could be filled in along the way; she had what she really needed.

The next few days passed in a blur of working, helping prepare for the town’s fall festival, and spending hours in front of her laptop in attempt to finish her story before the contest deadline.

And somehow, she managed to do it all. After one last read-through to catch any technical errors she might have missed before, Emma submitted her contest entry less than an hour before the midnight deadline.

The chances of her winning anything was minimal, she’d known that from the beginning, especially since she’d thrown together the last bit of the story so quickly. But that wasn’t important to her now. She had done it. She’d finished a story for the first time in months, years maybe, and that alone meant more to her than any prize.

And she couldn’t wait to tell Killian.

She had hoped he would be making a delivery the next morning so she could tell him first thing. Of course there was always the option of sending him a text, but she wanted to tell him in person considering how significant his encouragement had been to her wanting to write again in the first place.

At least she knew he would be attending the fall festival that night with Liam and Harper. Surely she could find a moment to talk to him while Liam was off romancing Elsa.

Since there was no delivery, she spent the rest of the day on pins and needles waiting for the festivities to start that evening. Elsa and Anna closed Crystalline a few hours early, and at six, the three of them walked to the town square where the event was being held. The space was packed with both people and various attractions, but Emma’s only concern was locating a familiar head of dark hair and blue eyes.

After half an hour of wandering around through vendors and game booths, she finally spotted him at the face painting table with Liam, and a little girl with her father’s dark curls that was having a unicorn painted on her cheek, courtesy of Belle.

She came up behind Killian and tapped him on the shoulder. “Please tell me you’re getting a matching unicorn on your cheek too. It would really bring out the blue in your eyes.”

“Hello, Swan. And, as much as I hate to disappoint you, the answer is no. With my luck, I wouldn’t be able to wash it all off and wouldn’t hear the end of it during my stops tomorrow.”

Emma sighed dramatically. “What a shame. I guess I’ll never get to find out what a cute Brony you would have been.”

She and Liam laughed at Killian’s objection as Liam took his daughter’s hand and suggested he take her to the pumpkin carving table.

When they had left, Emma turned back to Killian. “What are the chances he only wanted to carve a pumpkin because he knows Elsa is over there helping Anna and Kristoff?”

“Pretty likely I’d say. I can’t wait to tease him about it during my speech at their wedding.”

“I will most definitely hold you to that. Oh! I had something to tell you,” she said, remembering why she’d been so eager to find him in the first place. “So, long story short, I finished writing something for the first time in ages, and submitted it to this writing contest thing I found online. I’m not expecting to win or anything, but all that matters to me is that I did it.” She couldn’t hold back her smile. “And I really felt like I needed to thank you, because I’m not sure I would have done it if you hadn’t encouraged me so much and made me feel like I could have a purpose outside of being a retail manager.”

The massive grin on his face made her pulse do that thing she still wasn’t sure was completely normal. Or safe. “That’s wonderful, love. I don’t think you truly needed me to make any of that happen, but I’m honored I was able to help all the same.”

“Help is an understatement. Trust me.” She could go into a long, emotional speech about the number of things he’d helped her see differently, but she’d save that for another time, one when they weren’t surrounded by everyone in Storybrooke.

But their present circumstances didn’t stop her from taking an additional leap of faith, not unlike the one she’d taken by inviting him over on her birthday. “Will you go out with me?”

Killian’s eyes widened as if wondering if he’d heard her correctly. “Come again?”

“It’s okay if you don’t want to. I just figured that while I’m on a streak of doing things I wouldn’t normally have the guts to, maybe I should keep it up before I lose my nerve.”

His brow furrowed and he placed a hand under his chin like he was deep in thought. “Hmm. I’ll accept on one condition.”

“And that is?”

“You let me take you out to dinner, but we’re having pizza, garlic knots, and cinnamon twists.”

Maybe he was a man after her own heart too. “With an offer like that, I think I’d be a fool to say no.”

#cs ff #meredith writes #cs au #cs fluff #captain swan ff #captain swan #csseptembersunshine #captain swan fic #captain swan fanfiction

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