#i stopped drawing or eating healthy or exercising | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

poemsfor-her · 7 months

Text

GLOW UP QUIDE 𖹭⠀࣭⠀ֹ⠀͡꒱

I. THE INNER ME

— When you think of the word "glow up" , your mind automatically thinks of changing your appearence, right? For me the beauty is in our soul. If you think nasty and degrading thoughts of yourself that can be damaging in so many ways.

let's get some things clear here:

First of all, beauty standards always change, as trends come and go, and you will never be enough "pretty" for someone; because beauty is subjective and you might be the dream person for someone and for someone not. which is ok! there are so many beautiful flowers. i personally perfer tulips and peonies, but someone might prefer roses or sunflowers. that doesn't make a flower less beautiful because every flower is beautiful in it's own way.

— do you know yourself? we spend so much time trying to know others, but do we even know ourselves? go on pinterest and find some questions to ask yourself. here are some:

1. what qualities do i like about myself?

2. what qualities of others do i admire?

3. what am i scared of?

4. what would i like my mornings to look like?

5. who inspires me?

if someone asks me any of these questions i would answer them all in a second, because i know myself.

— SHADOW WORK. Grab a pen and a journal, go on pinterest and search "shadow work prompts". I Personally, don't know much about this subject, but i know it's talked about by many people i look up to. It helped them heal from trauma.

some videos i suggest you watch that helped me so much in changing my mindset:

why you'll never be pretty enough - zoe unlimited.

you don't need to glow up, our obssesion with glow up culture needs to STOP.

tiktok is DESTROYING YOUR IDENTITY.

what type of pretty you are.

— I suggest watching every commentary video of zoeunlimited. Her videos changed my views on various topics.

II. THERE IS NOTHING TO CHANGE

— you are perfect just the way you are. embrace yourself. there is only one you in this world. many women look the same to me these days and it's a tiring and sad thing. Everyone is following the standard that is going to probably change in a month. As Hwasa said "I am my own beauty standard" and thank you Hwasa for that!

Embrace your features, look for makeup that suits your face shape and eyes. I know that eyeliner doesn't work with my eyes so i don't apply it. I also know that a lot of bronzer doesn't suit me.

Wear whatever you like and don't be afraid to express yourself.

When it comes to exercising, ALWAYS DO IT FOR YOURSELF. Think of it as: "My body deserves to be healthy"

strech when you wake up, do yoga, workout or go for a walk/run. whatever you like!

eat healthy but don't pressure yourself too much. have it balanced. you can eat a healthy meal but that doesn't mean you can't eat a cake. BALANCE IS EVERYTHING.

my favorite fitness youtubers:

lily sabri

yoga with bird

mady morrison

emi wong

III. KNOWLEDGE IS POWER

— if you follow my posts you know how much i respect and talk about education and it's importance. As my favorite saying goes "BEAUTY IS DANGEROUS, BUT INTELLIGENCE IS LETHAL." I stand by this!!!! READ BOOKS, FOCUS ON YOUR STUDYING, WRITE, PAINT, LEARN A NEW LANGUAGE AND DRAW.

here are some book suggestions:

i who have never known men

the great gatsby

the prophet

my body

the art of war

search some famous musicians or artists and get to know their work. i seriously find this so attractive.

watch documentaries.

watch news, read articles and just generally know what is happening in the world.

get to know your country's history.

watch some iconic movies.

beauty fades, but knowledge always stays.

that's it! if you have some questions send me an ask ♡

with love, t

137 notes · View notes

femmefatalevibe · 1 year

Text

Femme Fatale Guide: How To Rediscover Yourself, Set Boundaries, & Master Interpersonal Conflict

The beginning of a new year marks a prime time for self-reflection and resetting our intentions. Take some time and use this post as a guide to self-assess your purpose, goals, desired self-concept, and boundaries to bring confidence and self-love into 2023.

Ways To Discover Your "Why":

Start by checking out my guide on Self-Discovery & Mastering Personal Branding and doing the linked exercise (more tips here) to uncover your 'Dream Girl Archetype.'

Tips On Setting/Upholding Boundaries:

Make it about you and never about them.

Know the difference between boundaries and expectations: A boundary is about you and how you will respond to another person's actions. An expectation is the way you expect others to conduct themselves (at least in your presence/relationship). Gently bring up the behavior or actions that bother or trigger you. Communicate your boundary to them when it comes to these conversation topics or behaviors. Say "when you talk about "X" topic or do "X" behavior, I feel uncomfortable/stressed/upset and need to remove myself from the conversation (either physically, hang up the phone, stop answering texts), etc. If they're well-meaning friends, family members, partners, etc., they will respect your boundaries and know that there's an expectation in your relationship for these topics/behaviors to not come up and, if they do, be apologized for and corrected immediately (humans slip up occasionally; you will know the difference between disregard for your well-being and an honest mistake by their reaction to your calling them out).

Always use "I" statements to communicate your needs and requests: Telling people what they're doing wrong instead of how their actions make them feel automatically puts others in defense mode. So, always make sure to describe the exact words/actions/behaviors that are bothering you and how these situations make you feel. Don't personalize these actions – unless you want a negative reaction from the other person (you don't).

Make time for self-care: It's true that you can only be fully present for others when you fill up your own cup and have your needs met first. Otherwise, you're only showing up as a fraction of the person you can and strive to be. Spend time alone. Take long showers and walks. Read books, journal, draw, meditate, and watch your favorite movies or TV shows. Eat healthy meals and work out. Focus on your goals and activities that make you feel good no matter what or who else is trying to enter your mind at any time.

How To Approach Conflict:

Ask for permission to bring up a conflict: Allow the other person to consent to a less comfortable conversation. Depending on the situation, feel free to assertively ask: "X statement made me uncomfortable/offended. Can we discuss this topic/how I'm feeling for a moment?" If someone is overstepping a boundary/trying to push your limits, just say: "Hey, that statement/action crossed X boundary. I [insert boundary]. If X boundary is crossed again, I'll need to remove myself from this conversation/leave/hang up/etc. "

Always approach conflict with "I" statements: Make standing up for yourself about just that – standing up for YOURSELF. Share how you feel and why certain behaviors make you feel comfortable. Don't use language that leads with a "you" statement. Make the conversation about asserting your own needs, not the other person's actions – this will only escalate a conflict and make someone else feel attacked.

Guide your conversations using someone's behaviors/actions, and never attack someone's character during a conflict or a disagreeable conversation: (e.g. Say something like "When you say things about X group of people or topic, I get very uncomfortable or angry." You can elaborate with a reason if you feel it's necessary, but your feelings are complete and valid on their own. Don't say: "You're a close-minded/rude/unappreciative person, etc," even if you have their past actions to back this statement up. It's not a good look.)

Seek to understand, not win in conversations: Unless the person, is hostile or deliberately trying to provoke you/upset you, listen to the other person to understand their perspective before speaking. Ask them why they said an uncomfortable/offensive statement or did a certain action that left you with negative emotions. Seeing where the other person is coming from helps you better communicate with the person in the context of the situation and minimizes the chances of a conflict. In the worst-case scenario, entering these less comfortable conversations with this intention will make you appear as a mature and respected person – both to yourself and others – and keeps you in a calmer state, so you're more careful with your words and less likely to say something you regret.

383 notes · View notes

totes-magotes · 6 months

Text

How 2 not st@rve yourself

i know this is said a lot but you either want peace, happiness, and/or control 'n you think being skinny will provide you with these things. and u want it ASAP wanting to be skinny isnt a crime, but doing it this way takes so much more from you, to where you have less control then you ever had. so heres some tips - build a daily routine first, if u slip up ITS OKAY!!!! days r meant to be different, tmr is always a new day. good days are subjective. plus, building a routine is trial and error, you're gunna change your mind about things but trust me things will stick. - dance once a day, lil strange but if you still want that feeling of burning calories you can at least have fun with it. plus a mood booster - stop counting calories, make better choices. this is subjective person to person but personally, not counting calories and instead doing food swaps for healthier options helps a lot. example: i wanna eat oatmeal with MILK!! but i will use oat milk or less fat milk :3 - eat what you crave, this ones scary. i know its hard to control yourself and going overboard with it is so so easy, but it will help in the long run. you binge because you feel this urgency that you wont be able to eat anything later, so you eat it all now. it doesnt have to be this way. say that pack of chips eat some at a non-meal time or with a meal. find a way to show your body that it doesnt need it in the middle of the night when you cant sleep. that it can have it whenever it wants. and slowly you will find yourself going "eh i dont want any right now." - yeah you can eat a donut, but with a banana. try to eat unhealthy food with a healthier side. - i know u hear this a lot so im just gunna list them off, cold morning showers: prepares you for the day + tightens pores. yoga: relaxing duh. morning exercise: even if jus for like 10-20 minutes, you're day will feel much more productive. skincare: ego boost and good for your routine. basically everything those HEALTHY wonyoungism posts are telling you. - writing, just write any old thing, whether its affirmations, your feelings at the moment, something that happened years ago, or even a drawing. theres jus something about putting pen to paper that's relaxing. obviously this isn't an ultimate guide, but recovery isnt just about eating more or less... its about finding your peace. you dont have to force yourself to love your body, just treat it a little better. you can still lose weight, but eat the way you want to for the rest of your life. small improvements go a long way. even just starting one little thing everyday, you're still better off than you were a week ago. protect your peace. protect yourself, from yourself. we might slip up tmr, maybe for a week, maybe for a year, but tmr can always be a better day.

#girl blogger #girlblog #girlblogging #girlhood #self care #this is what makes us girls #3d recovery #recovery #healing #wonyoungism #healthy weight loss #healthy weight gain #pink pilates princess #pink pilates girl #it girl #it gets better

63 notes · View notes

hannahyesss · 4 months

Text

Last year was a remarkable one for me. I started a new career that I love and find challenging and rewarding. I fell in love with exercise and gave up feeling guilty about eating, and now I’m getting into the best shape of my life. I turned thirty. I jumped back into writing fanfiction and drawing fan art. I made new friends (and gave up on some friendships). And I’m poor as hell because I spent a month in Europe during the summer, and my school district hates teachers! But honestly, I’m so happy to be here. We’re already a week into the new year, and I can really sense that this is going to be a tough one, yet I feel ready to take it on.

Instead of a New Year’s Resolution, each year, I pick a word or theme. Every time I have a choice, I ask myself: which action would align with my overall values for the year? My theme last year was “Health.” Mental, physical, emotional, etc. I’d ask myself “Is this healthy for me?” Should I take a solo trip to Portugal? Should I eat pastries for breakfast? Should I go for a run? (The answer to all of these was yes.)

Here is how I embodied “Health” in 2023.

I had ADHD for nearly thirty years and didn’t know it. In that time, I graduated from high school and college and earned my graduate degree. When I reflect on how I achieved these things without the slightest idea I had a combination type ADHD, there are two things that stand out to me.

First, for most of my life, my anxiety has been debilitating and has kept me on track in a very rigid, uncomfortable way. Fearing that I would miss a deadline, my brain used to cycle through checks almost compulsively—which assignment is due? Did I pay my doctor’s bill? Do I have enough money in the bank? I was always at least twenty minutes early to everything because I was terrified of being late. I did my homework in class during work time because I didn’t want to bring it home and forget. (I was also very lucky that I took naturally to traditional education—I had good teachers in high school, but the curriculum was also very easy for me.)

Anxiety is an excellent mask for ADHD—but the cost is constant exhaustion.

Second, I have always gravitated towards jobs that keep me on my feet and running around solving problems. I managed a retail boutique for about five years which suited my ADHD very, very well. I was never involved with a task for more than fifteen minutes at a time. If I’m creating a book order and a customer walks in, I’ve got to stop my current task for a short amount of time and come back to it. I could always switch my brain very easily from one task to the next. Very stimulating! I’m a teacher now, and it’s basically the same thing.

By 2019, however, my anxiety had become so unmanageable that I couldn’t look at my bank account, I couldn’t keep my apartment clean, and I couldn’t even begin to think about doing laundry. I began working with my therapist specifically on getting my anxiety under control. It was really hard work! It involved identifying triggers and sitting with exceptionally uncomfortable feelings without judgment of myself. The story of getting a firm handle on anxiety is fairly long, so I’ll skip over several years of work to say that my anxiety is manageable now.

It took years, but my constant state of high energy anxiety has calmed significantly. While this is good, I had no idea what it was masking. ADHD symptoms began to take over my life. I cried all the time because I kept losing my phone or I set my keys down somewhere stupid or I was starting to be late to everything. Laundry was even more of a herculean task and keeping my apartment clean was a constant battle. Tackling anxiety with my therapist helped me see that untidiness is not a moral issue, but damn! I was still frustrated that I tripped over stuff or that my clothes were never clean! My therapist started squinting at me as these problems cropped up, and eventually, they were like, “These are fairly classic ADHD symptoms.”

I really, really resisted this diagnosis. I had been fine fine fine for my whole life. I have a Master’s degree! I’m a teacher! If it’s hard for me to do laundry, it’s just because I don’t like doing laundry. If it’s hard for me to brush my teeth twice a day, it just means I’m a person with poor hygiene. And the thing is, I was completely capable of doing these things. I did them all the time! It’s just that I felt so tired, and it was just a matter of forcing myself to get it done. After all, does anyone really like doing chores?

“But I don’t think you understand how much harder you’re working to do them,” my therapist argued.

“It’s hard for everyone,” I remember saying.

“Right, but for the ADHD brain, you have to use a lot more energy to get started and to get finished the things you don’t want to do.”

All right, fine. That might be true.

So I started to accept that I miiiiiight have ADHD. My mom was shocked when I told her and insisted she didn’t remember me bouncing around or having trouble keeping up with assignments in school. (Except that wasn’t…actually true. I had a gazillion late assignments in elementary school but then I switched from private school to public in sixth grade, and school became much easier. I could keep up because I was usually finished before other kids.)

But diagnosis seemed impossible. I didn’t want to go through the whole debacle of setting up a doctor’s appointment, calling insurance, finding someone to assess me, yada yada yada. (Side note: the cruelest thing to do to a person with undiagnosed ADHD is to make them jump through a lot of administrative hoops to get to their diagnosis. Which is exactly what you have to do.)

At the same time, my sister was going through her own journey of getting an ADHD diagnosis. However, when she began treatment for ADHD, I wasn’t particularly surprised because her behaviors looked much more like classic symptoms to me. She went on meds as soon as she could and told me that it just felt like she wasn’t so tired anymore. That she could just… do things. And like, yeah, speed can do that for a person. But honestly, I was thinking I could use some controlled substances to boost my brain energy if they’d give them to me.

By the time I was able to get in with a psychologist, I was already most of the way through my first year as a teacher. I couldn’t sit through curriculum planning meetings without getting lost in the conversation, I couldn’t keep my mind focused during my own lesson planning, and I couldn’t fucking grade papers for more than ten minutes at a time. Damn, though, I was really good at pretending I was a well-functioning adult. I can lie my ass off, and I am a fairly good actor, so I was terrified the psychologist was going to tell me that it wasn’t ADHD—I’m just lazy and dumb and I need to try harder.

Shockingly, this is not what he told me. He said I have combined type ADHD which means hyperactive and inattentive. Hilariously, he said since Covid started, he has seen a huge influx of teachers getting diagnosed. It’s a job that attracts ADHD types because you’re never doing the same thing for long and it’s just constant stimulation. (I was chatting with a fellow teacher friend about it who also has ADHD—two other teacher friends overheard our conversation, grimaced at each other, and muttered that they might need to make appointments with their doctors too…)

Pretty soon I started meds, and it was life-changing. I realized that I was using food for stimulation for most of my life which was why it was so fucking hard to keep a healthy weight. I can now run longer distances because I’m not sabotaging myself by constantly remembering how bored I am or how much I want to stop. Grading papers still sucks but I can now grade for a few hours at a time, take well-planned breaks, and then jump back into it. Although not officially designated a symptom of ADHD, my Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria is much more manageable. I’m not constantly critiquing myself in the mirror anymore.

It’s truly been fascinating to see these changes in the last six months.

That’s not to say I’m cured or things are super great all the time. Laundry is still a struggle and I spent most of my weekend just lounging around the apartment (and called it rest). Last week, I increased my Adderall dosage to 15mg because what worked in the summer when I’m off work is NOT enough during the school year. In any case, I’ve been reflecting on how my diagnosis has helped me to see areas of growth in my life. Instead of “oh, I’m just an impulsive shopper,” it’s more like, “Oh, you are very susceptible to targeted ads. Let’s be cognizant of that and create a check system that helps you decide if you really need to buy that thing.”

I’ve learned that ADHD is NOT an excuse. I do NOT get to opt out hard things because of neurodivergence (I mean, sometimes yeah, I do, but not all the time, lol). Instead, it’s been a fun challenge to assess what I feel like I can’t do and figure out a way to trick my brain or work with my cute little weirdo brain to get shit done. I love puzzles! And damn if my brain isn’t one huge puzzle.

So here’s my advice: there is no such thing as laziness. If your problem is that you think you’re lazy, but since laziness doesn’t exist, it has to be something else. It could be ADHD—it could also be that you expect someone else to do the thing for you or that you’re depressed or that doing that thing you’re ignoring just isn’t something you care about.

Keep reflecting and remembering that you are not static.

Book recommendation: How to Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis

#2023 personal reflection #it’s actually just a reflection of my adhd diagnosis

15 notes · View notes

bluegekk0 · 3 months

Note

Has there been any anxiety with fpks ...roundness? Like obviously it seems like it is better than starving, but of course if you eat too much that isn't much better. Unless he is eating the amount he should and he is just built to be huggable?

Yeah once he moved to Dirtmouth and sorted his thoughts a little, he stopped eating as much as during those few weeks he was roaming around. Back then, he was fully concerned with survival and finding food, he would eat as much as he possibly could without throwing up, and consequently he gained a healthy weight in a very short period. By the time Hornet found him, he wasn't as round as he is now, but he was already showing signs of extra fat, especially in the stomach area (the drawing where Grimm is treating his forehead wound shows that very well).

Of course, he is quite greedy when it comes to food, so when he goes to hunt, he does eat more than he probably should. But he hunts less frequently now, so on average he eats less.

And yes, he definitely gained a lot of weight since his arrival in Dirtmouth. Again, it's mostly present in the belly area and the base of the tail. But I wouldn't say its a very unhealthy weight, and he hasn't gained much more after reaching the point you see in the stretching drawing, for example (his mental state improving over the years of living with his family definitely helped, since he's less prone to stress eating). Is it more than necessary? Certainly, he is definitely overweight. But I don't think he reached a point where he would have any concerning health problems.

He does maintain a healthy amount of physical activity, too, particularly when he goes hunting, which involves a lot of climbing, crouching and running, but he also exercises when at home, to maintain his flexibility and the condition of his muscles. But he's undoubtedly a foodie, so he's not losing that weight any time soon.

There are also some benefits to having extra fat in his case. It's an additional layer of protection for his delicate inner organs, as well as against cuts, scratches and such, and that's extremely valuable since he doesn't have chitin or thick scales for protection. Moreover, since the climate in Hallownest is cold, especially above ground, the fat helps him insulate against the harsh conditions and regulate his body temperature. It's not exactly the same as human fat, in some ways it's more similar to blubber on seals, but because he's kinda built like a very short person, it definitely resembles human fat in its distribution. Also, he's much softer and squishier, makes for an excellent pillow.

Drawbacks? The only major one is that he gets tired more easily, the extra mass does weigh him down, so he can't run for very long distances. It does also prevent him from achieving peak flexibility, since the fat gets in the way. But I'd say that in his case, the benefits definitely outweigh these drawbacks.

So in short, he's overweight, but metabolically healthy. So no concerns there, as long as he stays this weight (which he does).

If there was any anxiety involved, it was related to his self-image issues, particularly regarding how others see him, especially Grimm. Looking around, it was hard to find other bugs who had visible fat like him, and WL did comment about his weight a few times when he visited her, not in a very negative way, but it still stuck with him and made him think. So reaching the point where the fat was very evident, he started worrying that maybe others would see him as gross.

He was particularly scared of the possibility that Grimm may find him repulsive. Grimm only commented on his weight once until that point, when they first reunited and he pointed out that FPK looked a lot healthier. But he must have noticed that the wyrm gained even more fat since then, so why didn't he say anything? FPK's fear of abandonment multiplied those worries.

There was a short period where he would refuse to eat as much as he usually does, and avoid being intimate with Grimm as often as they were until that point, and Grimm of course noticed. So FPK eventually shared his fears, which as he learned, were unfounded. Grimm loved him as much as ever, as he said, he loved every inch of his body, and now there was more of it to adore and kiss. That definifely calmed FPK's worries a lot, and did wonders with helping him slowly accept his body.

He does sometimes get mean comments about his weight, and that brings his mood down every time, but the negative thoughts go away when he remembers Grimm's words. He's healthy, and Grimm loves him. Why should he care what others say?

#ask stuff #feral pk au #save #fpk

9 notes · View notes

michellethefatpig · 22 hours

Text

My eating disorder story

Growing up, I was a normal weight child, when I was in first grade (bear in mind that in my country we start school at 7 and have it until we are 15) one classmate told me that I was the second most fat person in the class, then I started to be kinda orthorexic I started to eat cucumbers and healthy in general more, but I was only a small child, so after a while I ate normal again. Everything seemed perfect until I weighted myself at the start of 4th grade, I was 158cm tall and I weighted 40kg, I thought that I was super fat, but I just didn't seem to care about diet, then I started dieteing again when I hit 44kg.I was scared and heartbroken,at summer holidays I restricted and exercised everytime. By that I lost 4kg, I felt perfect. But then we visited my therapist(I hate this bitch, I started going to her when I called my male parent by father and not dad) she said that I got very thin, and told my mother to hide the scale. I started to eat very much, I put on weight again, then I started to starve, I didn't ate breakfast and lunch, and after school I had big binges but I managed to lose 4kg.My binges got bigger and bigger, soon I gained again. My mother discovered about me throwing out the food(I'm sure that my ex bffs told her that) and cutting myself on hipbones. I got in semy recovery I got medicine, then I gained and I was 47kg, but I grew to 162cm.And again everything was good, until I got into a fight with my old bffs year ago. I didn't do nothing at all, I just told that my other friend was right, but they rejected me and my tries to connect. I am autistic, so changes aren't easy for me. I tried to connect again, but they ignored us and my bestfriend who I supported told me that I was stupid and that the other bffs are toxic (we were 4 together) . I started to search, diets and stuff, to lose weight fast. Then I discovered ballerina's diet and by that I discovered also tumblr. As I got deeper into it, I started to count calories and overexercise, But I did it wrong, I thought I ate 500 calories and burnt 1000 but soon I was able to tell that it was kind of opposite. I started to eat 500 calories, then less less and less, I skipped meals whenever I could. I lost a lot of weight, 12kg.I felt very good but still not enough, then I went on camp with my ex bffs, the one got very toxic(even tho she was first blaming and insulting the other ones and I was the one who cheered her up), she was screaming at me, putting my things away to clean, she didn't understood that I needed to chew gum to not bite my lips(this habbit got worse, I can't even notice when I do that). She made fun of it, told me that it smells(it was bubble gum), then she multiple times called me names and I cried to my mother on phone everynight. I reunited with the other bffs but the one decided to bully me with the other one(I helpoed this one with getting a cat, and I spent all summer befor last summer with her). There was the one, she just comforted me 1 time.Once the two even kinda tried to get my phone , yk like they get ur phonr then pull it to their side, it hurt but I tried to be strong and not show my weakness I was very scared of them. And I got kinda sadder and more traumatized. After that, I started tok eat 1500 calories on daily basis, slowly smaller. Then I got to 800 calories. But I didn't knew that I was gaining weight. In winter nurse weighted me, 45 kg, horror, I was scared my binges got worse I was scared. And my friends still made fun of me for everything, my fictional crush(the bff was a kpop stan, had Felix from SKZ EVERYWHERE and I mentioned my 2d crush like 3 times and had a pin with him). She started to draw him in weird way, the others said it was funny, but I td her multiple times to stop insulting me, making fun of me and stuff like that. Then we got in a big fight.1VS3, of course I apologized first, like I always did, even tho it wasn't my fault. I just did. Then I opened my eyes, they were the only friends I had. But they told all of my secrets to my mother. I also won fight with them alone xddddd(but its a diff story)

2 notes · View notes

kart0 · 20 days

Text

Tw eating disorder

I have barely eaten all day. I feel miserable. I feel so hungry I feel sick. I skipped dinner, and made my mom cry because I have stopped eating together with my family.

I am so fucking miserable and I am so. So ashamed.

I think I can finally admit I have anorexia. Even though I am not as skinny as a "typical" anorexic person would be, I think I fit into the characteristics and behaviours of one. I skip meals, I don't see myself as skinny even thought I have lost a ton of weight. I am anxious about my looks and how much I am eating. I stopped eating candy, of anything that actually brings me happiness and pleasure. I do not binge. I feel like I do not deserve to have food. I do not deserve the pleasure of eating. I only eat when I do good. I have to battle for food. I have to behave nicely, do well on university, finish my projects, finish my drawings, interact with my friends, be thoughtful, and caring. That's when I can eat. When something I do is good.

And all I want is to get skinnier and skinnier. The problem is that I did have a goal before. But now that I am actually getting there it's like my goal gets further away and I am always never quite there yet. Like I need to keep doing this until...until when actually ? There's no limit to what I'm doing. If I keep doing this I will mostly die.

And I don't know how to stop. And I am so, utterly scared. How do I compromise, eating, and losing weight. I know I should eat healthy and exercise and build muscle and get strong and I was doing better I was eating and going to the gym but then it's like it just snapped and I started eating less. And less. And it kept going and now I am skipping meals, barely having any food. And I am so fucking tired. Being hungry makes me pissed and sad and just bad. Of course, I feel sick, nauseated, headaches, I already have low blood pressure and I am anemic. But there's this sick mentality of feeling pride whenever I feel like that. It's like a sick reward, a proof that I am losing weight.

I can't keep doing this but I don't know how to ask for help because I am so embarrassed because it should be so fucking easy. LITERALLY JUST FUCKING EAT. EAT. JUST EAT YOU MORON. YOU STUPID BITCH. DO YOU WANT TO FUCKING DIE ??????????

I don't want to tell anybody. I want to deal with this on my own. Part of me thinks I can do it, I can recover and be healthy again. I already went through this once, and I did get better. I can do it again. But the other part of my brain keeps thinking I do not know what I'm doing. I will fail. And how I should keep doing this, even though it's very dangerous.

I am so hungry. I will try to eat something before bed. I hope I get better. I don't want to be like this anymore.

#me #update #eating disoder trigger warning

3 notes · View notes

annbourbon · 5 months

Text

The Useful Post (Part Two)

Part One || Part Two || Part Three

>-< Because apparently only 100 links are allowed per post.

I'm gonna finish the other one and edit both to make it look a bit more... clean.

Be That Girl 101

Although it's not the only blog with this kind of content, it is one of the best I've seen. So follow @prettyinpink for more content. The list I'm creating of course doesn't only includes her blog but others too. If I find it's interesting, useful or something along the lines, it'll be here.

♡ Learn something new

♡ Making your phone to be intentional

♡ Making Friends

♡ Self care 101

♡ How to stop procrastinating by managing your emotions

♡ Becoming a better student

♡ How to romanticize exercise

♡ How to be the Main Character

♡ Cariona: Pads that actually help

♡ Success Formula 101

♡ The It Girl Mindset

♡ How to Stay Motivated while Studying

♡ 5 Habits to Fix your Problems

♡ Sexual Education

♡ Ultimate Friendship Guide

♡ Things to Manifest

♡ Watch your posture

♡ How to Build an unshakeable confidence

♡ How not to Die if you have an ED

♡ Don't let others to paywall human connection

♡ Read only women

♡ How to stop overthinking

♡ Youtube Channels 4 Girlies

♡ Stop self~sabotage and doubts

♡ Becoming an adult

♡ You can do this

♡ Set your own pace

♡ Friends

♡ Content creators

♡ Don't date for love

Ballet 101

♡ Diet

♡ Routine

♡ Victoria Secret Workout

♡ My own Diet & Workout Routine

♡ What is healthy for one person might not be for another

♡ How to lose weight fast naturally

Food 101

♡ Pancakes to cure depression

♡ Vegetarian recipes

♡ Vegan recipes

♡ Gluten Free Ideas #1

♡ Prosciutto & Blue Cheese (I don't support EDs but these recipes are so tasty!!)

♡ Food List & Some advice

♡ Common myths about migraines

♡ Fluffy Bread

♡ Eating Tray Hack

♡ Pasta

Makeup 101

♡ Makeup #1 - Artistic

♡ Skincare #1

Nature 101

♡ Orchids

♡ Identifying Plants?

♡ Learn How to Like Bugs

♡ Birds

♡ Plants can talk

♡ Bees are dying

♡ Frogs

♡ How to grow....

History 101

★Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it.~ George Santayana. ★

♡ Disability History

♡ Who are you? *Master List*

♡ Irish Mythology

♡ Autism through the years

♡ White People Culture: Long post

♡ History is closer than you think

♡ Asexuals and Aros through history

♡ Myth of Orpheus and Eurydice

♡ Belgians

♡ European History is not white

♡ Ronald Reagan

♡ Pompeii Fact

Art 101

★ This category includes Drawing and Painting, among other forms of art. It also includes some authors I really liked and works to use as inspiration, or to at least have some knowledge of their existence.★

♡ Art: Vintage

♡ Drawing cozy interiors

♡ Beautiful...

♡ John Singer Sargeant (watercolor)

♡ František Dvořák

♡ Primary colors in a fight

♡ 3D Website

♡ Outfit References

♡ Fake Colors

Etiquette 101

♡ Be polite!

♡ Stop your Lizard 🐊 Brain 🧠

♡ Emotionally Competent

Others

♡ Useful for anyone with an appendix

♡ Ad Blockers on YT

♡ Things you can control

♡ Books should be free according to Human Rights

♡ Libguides

♡ What makes Theatre great

♡ Librarians & Teenagers

♡ American Archive

♡ Sundown Towns

♡ Use this instead of

♡ How to keep following people when a social platform implodes

♡ How to Network

♡ How to use Google & Pinterest

♡ Youtube - No Ads

♡ How to find a post really fast

♡ Nothing to do online??

♡ Mythbusters: Sleep

♡ WWC’s A Beginner’s Guide to Academic Research

♡ Wayback Machine

If you want to be here, write me. I'll check on your post and see if I can make it work 😉

5 notes · View notes

waitingforafriendblog · 2 months

Text

Journaling has done more for me than rehab and therapy ever did. Why? Bc no one gives a fuck about what you to say. It sucks, but that’s the reality.

Even the trained “professionals” who called me by Borderline and not even by my name.

Getting me to even show up and stay clean was hard enough. But having to check in with 4 other counselors, psychologists, psychiatrists, DBT classes, it still didn’t do much for me at all. No one was really listening to me.

But journaling is the perfect outlet for me. I can scream my truth into my writing, which always validates what I am feeling. I’ve had nothing in my life besides gaslighting and resistance.

I’ve come to the conclusion that people are dedicated to misunderstanding me.

Journaling for Emotional Wellness

When you were a teenager, you might have kept a diary hidden under your mattress. It was a place to confess your struggles and fears without judgment or punishment. It likely felt good to get all of those thoughts and feelings out of your head and down on paper. The world seemed clearer.

You may have stopped using a diary once you reached adulthood. But the concept and its benefits still apply as a grown up. Now it’s called journaling. It's simply writing down your thoughts and feelings to understand them more clearly. And if you struggle with stress, depression, or anxiety, keeping a journal can be a great idea. It can help you gain control of your emotions and improve your mental health.

Journaling benefits

One of the ways to deal with any overwhelming emotion is to find a healthy way to express yourself. This makes a journal a helpful tool in managing your mental health. Journaling can help you:

Manage anxiety

Reduce stress

Cope with depression

Journaling helps control your symptoms and improve your mood by:

Helping you prioritize problems, fears, and concerns

Tracking any symptoms day-to-day so that you can recognize triggers and learn ways to better control them

Providing an opportunity for positive self-talk and identifying negative thoughts and behaviors

When you have a problem and you're stressed, keeping a journal can help you identify what’s causing that stress or anxiety. Once you’ve identified your stressors, you can work on a plan to resolve the problems and reduce your stress.

Keep in mind that journaling is just one aspect of a healthy lifestyle for better managing stress, anxiety, and mental health conditions. To get the most benefits, be sure you also:

Relax and meditate each day.

Eat a healthy, balanced diet.

Exercise regularly—get in some activity every day.

Treat yourself to plenty of sleep each night.

Stay away from alcohol and drugs.

Use your journal to make sure you follow these guidelines daily.

How to journal

Try these tips to help you get started with journaling:

Try to write every day. Set aside a few minutes every day to write. This will help you to write in your journal regularly.

Make it easy. Keep a pen and paper handy at all times. Then when you want to write down your thoughts, you can. You can also keep a journal on your smartphone.

Write or draw whatever feels right. Your journal doesn't need to follow any certain structure. It's your own private place to discuss and create whatever you want to express your feelings. Let the words and ideas flow freely. Don't worry about spelling mistakes or what other people might think.

Use your journal as you see fit. You don't have to share your journal with anyone. If you do want to share some of your thoughts with trusted friends and loved ones, you could show them parts of your journal.

Keeping a journal helps you create order when your world feels like it’s in chaos. You get to know yourself by revealing your most private fears, thoughts, and feelings. Look at your writing time as personal relaxation time. It's a time when you can de-stress and wind down. Write in a place that's relaxing and soothing, maybe with a cup of tea. Look forward to your journaling time. And know that you're doing something good for your mind and body.

#journal #journaling #mental health #bpd #dbt therapy #psychologists #psychiatrists

5 notes · View notes

pinkmousyloser · 4 months

Text

I don't want depression and shit to hold me back.

In 2024, I'm gonna run, exercise, eat healthy stuff and try to be kind to myself. I'm gonna start and try to finish C25K.

I'm gonna drink more water and be good to my body.

I'm gonna do breathing exercises, self care activities, and journal.

I'm gonna have creative hobbies like crochet, painting, drawing and playing the guitar.

I'm gonna stop spending all my time on social media and more time in nature.

I'm gonna quit vaping or smoking cigarettes (this one might end the hardest)

I'm gonna focus on my hygiene

Im gonna keep my room straight and do things I enjoy doing like video games and reading.

I'm gonna reach out to friends and hang out.

I'm gonna cut down on drinking, or just have a glass of wine every once in a while.

I'm gonna do grounding techniques. I'm gonna live my life outside of my head instead of sending myself into an overthinking spiral.

I'm gonna spend more time with my mom bc she's sick and I'm not sure how much time I have left with her.

If I do at least one or two of these, I know I made a lot of progress and self growth.

0 notes

femmefatalevibe · 1 year

Note

Hello,

Could you enlighten me on these topics: Finding your why & Uphold Your Boundaries - Learn When To Speak Your Mind, Compromise, Or Walk Away?

Thank you in advance 💕

Hi love! A few answers to your questions are below. Let me know if you (or anyone in the community) would like some deeper-dive Premium guides on any of these topics.

Ways To Discover Your "Why":

Start by checking out my guide on Self-Discovery & Mastering Personal Branding and doing the linked exercise (more tips here) to uncover your 'Dream Girl Archetype.'

Tips On Setting/Upholding Boundaries:

Make it about you and never about them.

How To Approach Conflict:

Hope this helps xx

66 notes · View notes

buangkok · 5 months

Text

14/11/23

I’m addicted to social media. I wouldn’t say I like it. I can’t stop looking at Instagram and Twitter every two seconds. There must be a way out of this. How do I stop doing something I’m so used to doing? It’s not like I’m talking or engaging with anyone online, I don’t have many friends. Most of my relationships have become parasocial. I read somewhere that you should replace a bad habit with a good habit. The process is difficult, though. I’m trying to read more, that’s the good habit I was referring to.

A bad habit that I have is that I intellectualize every single thing. I think too much about “why”. I think too much about how things work. I always try to find the reason behind how things work. It isn’t a bad thing, it’s just that I do it too much. It hinders me from getting things done. I need to stop asking too many questions and start doing things. Let my movement inform the action. It’s difficult because it is my instinctual way of thinking, it’s something that I’ve become accustomed to. It doesn’t help to be too introspective.

There are so many things I want to get done. I have so much inertia within me that stops me from doing anything. I would like to be able to draw and write. It’s taking a lot from me just to do it though. I do try to read in my free time but it’s so hard to focus. I have no problems with writing, but I always have issues with reading. My surroundings are distracting.

My physical health is starting to be affected by my lifestyle. I eat way too much. To be honest, I’m pretty sick of people telling me what I should do with my body. I know I should engage in a healthy lifestyle, but I don’t like people telling me what to do. I know it comes from a good place. I just don’t want it to feel like I’m doing this because of others, not because of myself. I need to come up with a plan, or a routine for myself to start exercising, drinking enough water, and eating healthy. I’m scared of the state of my health. The doctor said that there’s a lot of creatine in my kidneys. He said that I should be drinking at least 2L of water a day. Since then, I’ve only made a slight effort to change that. I don’t want to have to give up my kidneys because of the creatine levels.

I wish I lived somewhere else. Not healthy to ruminate too much on the “what ifs” though. Stop thinking too much, start doing something.

0 notes

twohundred40-blog · 1 year

Text

So where am I at?

I moved to a new city. It’s amazing here and I LOVE IT. My estate is insane … it’s gated and safe, it looks like something out of a movie the layout and architecture is SO unique. I have a balcony that overlooks the trees. It’s so calm and quiet here. I’m in love. The city is much nicer than Coventry, so many nice shops, cafes, history, farms ahhh. I do miss aspects of Coventry though, I loved the culture and being able to pop in and see my sisters or pop to the pub on a random evening. I need to learn to drive because I’m quite isolated here, nothing is about. I have a few friends here and they’re amazing but I do wish I had more. My anxiety is still bad in that sense… but better than it used to be.

I have the most amazing group of friends from uni. A proper solid friend group, we don’t meet up much but when we do it’s when I’m at my absolute happiest. The good thing about being far away is we get to have whole weekends together, we visit each other or go somewhere on an adventure. All we do is laugh. And there’s limited drama but when this is drama… I live for it.

I finally got a “proper” job. I’m still pretty anxious because I’m new at it and I’m much less confident than the other new girl. But everybody is so lovely so I’m hoping I slowly fit in more and be more confident. I spent my last shift doing maths and I can’t even explain how much I enjoyed it. Yeh nerdy, but it was like all the aspects of maths I love and so rewarding when I had that light bulb moment. I have no idea what the future is for my career but at the moment I’m happy there, getting qualifications and working for a genuine company. It feels good. I don’t think I’ll be there forever but who knows what the future holds.

My sister is having a BABY. I cannot begin to explain how happy it makes my heart. It’s all very surreal, our family is finally growing. I hate that I’m so far away and I’ll miss a lot of it but I hope I can bond with the baby and when they’re a bit older they can come stay here and I’m going to be the cool aunt. I’m going to absolutely spoil it, and make sure it has an amazing music taste.

Do I want kids? No idea. I go between desperate to have a baby to I’m not ready to I don’t want kids. I’m not entirely sure to be honest but I think it’ll come natural if it’s meant to be. I can’t lie friends and family having babies is making me broody as hell.

Mentally I’m doing pretty well, I’m far from perfect, I still laze around a lot and have my depressive episodes, and nap a lot. In general though I’m much better than I used to be, fairly normal sleep schedule, better hygiene and self care. I’m eating better but definitely in need of improvement and it’s a struggle sometimes. I’m going to take it slow and continue my journey of growth. I came a long way but then just kind of stopped… I guess I’m scared if I disappoint myself I’ll tip over the edge again. I want to be the kind of person who gets up and has breakfast, exercises, reads, draws, tries new things, drinks lots of water, showers every day. Sounds quite simple but for me … it’s a struggle. I have to remind myself of how far I’ve came though and know I’m strong enough to keep going. I’ve also been cigarette free for 13 days. I won’t lie it’s a huge struggle, my cravings are through the roof. I’m determined to jeep it up though no matter how hard it is.

I finally feel like I fit in with my partners family. I mean they’ve always been amazing and I’ve always loved them but at the start I always felt a bit like I didn’t fit in. Well now they are absolutely family to me. I’m so comfortable with them and I look forward to seeing them SO much. I’m going to be a bridesmaid at my partners mums wedding and I cannot WAIT!

As for my relationship. Wow. I didn’t realise I could be in such a healthy relationship, in fact I didn’t even think they existed… I kind of thought people just settled. There’s so much love there, we support each other, we grow together. We laugh together all the time, there’s so much passion ( the sex is …. still absolutely off the charts and it’s been over 4 years). He still gives me butterflies constantly and he’s my best friend at the same time, like my absolute best friend. The way he looks at me as well… oh my god. It’s literally like I feel like I’m in an epic love song or something. And I love love love me time and I have down days, I want to be alone a lot of the time but with him it’s like… he’s actually my other half, I feel incomplete without him. He lets me have me time of course but… I like him being here more.

And the best part, we’re going to get MARRIED!! I always had mixed views on marriage and to be honest I still do. But after meeting this man, I knew I wanted to marry him. It doesn’t have to be the worlds idea of marriage it can be ours. Honestly I’d happily elope with him and get married just us two but really I can’t wait to have a big party with everyone we love. I want SO MANY FLOWERS and plants, I want homemade decorations and cake. I want so much of our personalities put into it. A celebration of us. Then life after marriage? I really truly believe our fairy tale will just keep on going. I couldn’t imagine life without this man. He’s my obsession and … I’m his. We have no idea where our life will go, where we’ll live, what jobs we’ll do, if we’ll have kids but we know one thing, we’re in it together.

Basically I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. I still need some self growth, I still have no idea what I’m doing. But I love it. Oh man I still want my glow up as well. To be honest I’m pretty happy with my appearance, the main thing for me is freaking out that other girls look like models and I look like a 16 year old … and my appearance never changes. Joe reminds me constantly though he thinks I’m perfect and he treats me like a god damn princess all the time, even when I’m difficult. I’ll still get a better hair cut, tan and get better at make up. Oh and hopefully grow some tits and ass. But I don’t really care what other people think anymore because I’m happy with myself and I know Joe loves me no matter what.

I’m enjoying this chapter of life … I cannot wait to see what comes next.

0 notes