#i think the experience of learning the adults around you dont actually have it all figured out either

[hexiewrites]

I’ve been thinking a lot about late-deafened Steve, and what that actually would have looked like. Because the thing is: I love this head cannon. Boy got bashed around so much, ESPECIALLY on his left side, theres no way he didn’t come out of that with some long term damage. And I’ve been thinking about what that means for him, when his hearing starts to go, and how isolating that would be.

Except. Then I keep thinking about Robin.

Give me child-of-Deaf-adults Robin. Robin whose parents met at Gallaudet. Who were confused and upset when the doctor said, relief clear on his face, oh thank god, how lucky, your baby is normal, she can HEAR. Robin who grows up a in a Deaf home with a Deaf family. Who learns ASL before she learns English. Who never learns to be quiet because at home it doesn’t matter, so she can blast trumpet all day long to no complaints, and forever feels uncomfortable in places where she has to try to keep it down. Robin who grows up learning ASL and English and thrives, loves the way her brain works when it’s parsing languages, and starts teaching herself French and Spanish too, blasting day time Spanish soap operas constantly whenever she’s at home, shouting along with the screen. Robin who interprets for her parents, taking on burdens no seven year old should when she’s the one who has to tell her mom the cancers back. Robin who, four years later, gets to tell her dad that the surgery worked. The cancers gone. Moms gonna be ok. Robin who, at eleven, doesn’t know the sign for remission but she signs CANCER-one hand eating at the other like the disease that almost took her Mom-and signs FINISH, signs NONE, signs MOM-OKAY, MOM-SAFE, and is glad her dad can’t hear how loud her sobs are because even she’s embarrassed at the noises she’s making. 

Robin who doesn’t quite fit at home, the loud little girl in the odd quiet house (not that her house is ever quiet: if you dont realize you’re making noise you don’t do anything to tamper it), and who doesn’t quite fit at school, when she shows up in kindergarten signing instead of speaking and all the other kids make fun of her for years, call her spazzy Buckley and imitate the signs, crude and heartbreaking and she can’t even cry here because everyone can hear her. Robin who teaches herself to speak without signing, sits on her hands and tries not to internalize the hatred, but her fingers still twitch constantly along with the words. Robin who thinks she’s never going to fit in, and tries to separate out the two different parts of herself because it’s easier, most days, to pretend to be “normal” even though that feels wrong too.

Give me Robin, who knows Steve inside out and who knows what it looks like when someone can’t hear you but pretends they can. Robin who clocks Steve immediately, even though he tries to brush her off like he’s been doing to everyone. Robin who finally takes him home to meet her parents, explaining it all in the car (into his right ear, which is better than the left though still starting to fade). Robin who gives Steve the gift of understanding and hope for the future. Who holes up with him and teaches him sign, slow at first (because Steve has never been good at grammar, and he constantly furrows his eyebrows despite her pleas that eyebrows are important in ASL and he needs to use his face more or he’s going to confuse everyone, it’s the visual equivalent of lilting your voice up like every sentence is a question and it’s weird, Steve!) and then faster as he starts to realize how useful it is, starts to bring her lists full of signs to learn, starts to lean on and cherish the experience of this new way to communicate. Robin, who helps him practice lipreading even though she’s terrible at it. Robin, who finally convinces him to get a hearing aid and lets him sob into her shoulder when the doctor says it’ll help for a few years, but long term there’s probably nothing they can do, and then tells him to buck it up because there are way worse things than being a little deaf and besides, now the Buckleys will just have to adopt him for real because they did always talk about adopting a deaf child or two, if there was ever one in need.

Give me CODA Robin, whose never felt like she belonged until she nearly gets murdered by Russians with her best friend. Who brings Steve into her life, shows him Deaf culture, gives him a place where he fits. Robin who finally realizes that this is her place too, and it’s so much sweeter for getting to share it with the people she loves.

And then, after, give me Eddie knocking on the Buckley door and begging to learn ASL too. Give me Robin’s mom, somehow roped in to teaching him and the party, as they try to learn in secret to make Steve’s life easier (and their own, because ASL is god tier for pulling pranks from opposite sides of a high school cafeteria). Give me Dustin, excitedly telling Miranda Buckley to FUCK-OFF every week for months because he thinks he’s saying THANK-YOU and she finds it too funny to correct him. Give me Eddie trying to surprise Steve and ask him out on a date, but instead of signing HUNGRY, WANT YOU&ME GO AFTER WORK? he signs HORNY, WANT YOU&ME GO FUCK?

And give me Steve, who thinks about it for a long minute (partially because Eddie totally botches the grammar, but partially because he looks so hot, standing there nervous and trying to communicate with Steve in a way that will make him the most comfortable) before he smirks and signs back YEAH, and takes Eddie on the best goddamn first date of his life. 

#sorry i just!!! had so many thoughts #steve harrington #robin buckley #eddie munson #steddie #at the end there #deaf steve harrington #disabled steve harrington #CODA robin buckley #asl #stranger things #stranger things headcanons #is that what youd call this #idk #word vomit #hex writes stuff #kind of! #oh and uh sorry about the angst in the middle #i couldnt help it

[hybeboyenthusisast]

➺ thirteen: the night of the party (18+)

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warnings: smut!! unprotected sex (reccomend you dont do this), oral (m & f receiving), fingering, choking, pet names, alcohol, mentions of weed, dancing, kissing, creampie, aftercare, groping (this list was written in the order i remembered things hehe) let me know if i missed something

wc: 3k

The frat party was in full swing, with plenty of drunk students doing whatever they felt like. Some were making out wherever they could, some were either playing or watching some beer pong, and of course, there was a mass group moving in what was supposed to be dancing. With so many drunk young adults pressed up against each other, movement was limited, so Soobin could not find it himself to dignify this group as "the dancers". They were more like a group of fish swimming about in the sea; moving side to side but definitely not dancing. Except you.

Beomgyu was supposed to be keeping an eye on you this time, yet he was nowhere to be found. Despite promising that he would take care of you, he did what he always did to you at parties; disappear. You never really cared to think about where he went or what he was doing, not after that time you walked in on him having sex. You learned from that experience to never search for your brother and simply hope he doesn't wind up dead in a ditch.

Jungwon, on the other hand, stuck to you like glue at parties. He was so worried about you as you were already a huge troublemaker when you were sober, so you were an even bigger one when you were drunk or high. But, tonight he had been granted his freedom with Beomgyu's false promise to watch you.

There you were, just outside the school of fish, actually dancing. Your movements were fluid but your eyes were sharp, and anyone who dare come near you with the hope of dancing with you was quickly scared off by your glare. Maybe it was the smoke from the weed in the basement wafting up, or maybe it was the two cups of whatever had been handed to him; Whether it was what he drank or what he was breathing, Soobin certainly wasn't thinking clearly as he attempted to do what most were too afraid to at this point.

Bopping his head to the beat of the music he could barely hear because it was just so damn loud, Soobin made his way over to you. With the dim lighting bouncing off your features and your lips, shiny from your lip gloss, you looked divine. Despite your drunken state, you were surprisingly aware of your surroundings, and you turned to face Soobin as he was approaching you.

You raised an eyebrow at him as you kept dancing, and Soobin didn't know if you were questioning him or daring him. He opted to believe the latter. His hands, much larger than your own, gently grasped your waist and spun you around so your back was pressed against his. Your ass grinding into his front.

While you had no idea what had possessed Soobin to dance with you, you were not letting him go so easily.. or at all. His hands snuck their way up your shirt and sat firmly on your waist, the feeling of his heated skin against your own making you shiver. Soobin was pressing himself into you, pressing you into him, and it was starting to feel like a wet dream coming true. Soobin's hard cock was straining against his jeans, begging to be released, to be touched.

It was when he leaned down to nip at your earlobe that you snapped; if you could have this man, you were going to have him. Despite his steady grip that was keeping you how he wanted, you spun in his hold and pressed your lips against his.

Even with your heels, the height difference between the two of you was both obvious, and a turn on. You always loved how small Soobin made you feel (probably not just size wise but emotionally :/ ) when you stood by him, but you had never been this close to him to really see and feel the difference in your heights.

Your lips pressed urgently against Soobin's, desperate to get a taste of the man you had been crushing on forever. He kissed you back with the same urgency, one hand cupping your jaw and tilting your head up to give him better access to your mouth. With a swipe of his tongue at your lower lip, you moved back to break the kiss.

"Take me upstairs," you yelled to Soobin, a flirty smile on your face as you moved his hand on your waist to rest on your ass instead. Soobin grinned at you, squeezing your ass firmly and leaning down to kiss you, before taking your hand in his and leading you through the frat house.

You giggled as the two of you navigated your way through a sea of wasted students, finding the most bizarre breaks in the crowds to get your way to the stairs and then to Soobin's bedroom.

Soobin shut the door behind you as you followed him into his room, backing you up until you were pressed against the door. He really wasn't even thinking anymore; at least nothing more advanced than how pretty you looked and how your kisses made his cock throb. He wanted to kiss you, touch you, please you, and ravish you. With his cock guiding his decisions, he slammed his lips against yours, his tongue very quickly finding yours and beginning a sensual tango. Your hands rested on his shoulders, feeling how broad they were and hoping you'd find your legs thrown over them. His hands were grabbing your ass and pulling you into him, his clothed hard on slowly beginning to rut against you.

You pulled away from his lips for air, small gasps leaving you as he began tracing the skin of your throat with his teeth. His teeth barely grazed you, but with each little nip he gave you, sparks shot out all along your body. You felt electrified, every nerve hyper aware of Soobin's presence.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Soobin leaned back to cup your cheeks, gazing into your eyes and searching for any signs of hesitation. You dove forward and pressed your lips against his in a quick motion.

"Yes," you nodded, placing your hands over his on your face. "I am so sure, Soobin."

If he were less intoxicated on your kisses and the alcohol, he probably would have stopped everything. Sure, he wouldn't sleep with you when he was sober, but he was also much more of a gentleman when it came to sex. Especially for a first time with someone. But he was not enough in his right mind.

Soobin handled your body with such ease, like you were merely a doll, and you were enjoying it probably a bit too much. One moment you had been pressed against the door, and the next, you were on your knees in front of Soobin, who sat at the edge of his bed.

His eyes were dark, almost predatory as they took in the sight of you kneeling before him. Your hands ran up and down his thighs, the rough material of his jeans prompting you to quickly get to work on removing his pants.

Soobin leaned back, resting on his hands as he watched you unbuckle his belt, your hair in disarray and your lipstick smudged. Despite your messy appearance, he thought you had never looked more beautiful. You made quick work of his belt, unbuttoning his jeans and tugging them down. Soobin lifted his hips to help you in your mission, smirking to himself as your jaw dropped.

He wasn't even fully on display, still in his boxers, yet you were shocked at the size of his bulge. You whimpered as you grasped his cock through his boxers, feeling the weight of him in your hand. He was by far the biggest man you had ever been with.

"Take off your shirt, pretty girl," Soobin commanded, moving one of his hands to push your hand off of his clothed package, groaning at the loss of pressure.

You complied easily, ripping your shirt over your head so fast. Soobin groaned at the sight of your pretty tits covered in lacey fabric, looking so inviting. They were a blank canvas for him to paint with his kisses, and he was looking forward to this masterpiece.

"Baby, you're so fucking pretty," Soobin mumbled under his breath. You sent him a wink as you kissed up his thighs, bunching up the fabric of his boxers in your fingers to tug it down.

Honestly, you never once thought a dick had ever looked pretty. But pretty was the best word to describe Soobin's throbbing member, with a pink mushroom tip and veins running along the length. He was much larger than you had ever expected, with a decent girth to him as well. Your core clenched around nothing as you imagined how stretched out you were going to be on his cock.

With a continously growing wetness between your legs, you leant down and wrapped your lips around Soobin's tip, tongue lapping at his precum. His hands moved to make a makeshift ponytail for you, eyes lidded at he watched as you worked your way down his cock. You choked as his tip hit the back of your throat, hands wrapping around the remainder that wouldn't fit in your mouth.

You worked with your hands to set a steady rhythm, twisting and pumping his length while you bobbed up and down, hollowing your cheeks and sucking like a vaccum. Soobin was already so on edge, so turned on by you, that he really wasn't going to last very long if you kept this up. He swore to himself he would cum in your mouth next time.

You whimpered as Soobin held you and halted your movements, gently pushing you off of him. "Why?" You asked, staring up at him with doe eyes. You thought he had been enjoying it, given how his thighs had been tensing up and his breathing became more ragged.

"Wanna cum in you," he whispered against your lips as he pulled you up and kissed you. "Strip and lay on the bed."

Despite how gentle his tone was, you knew he was commanding you; even if he wasn't, you would do whatever he wanted anyway. You made a show of it, throwing off your heels, shimmying out of your skirt, swaying your hips. You unhooked your bra, your eyes trained on Soobin's as he watched you. You caught the silent gulp he did when you threw your bra off into the distance, sending him a teasing smile.

"Like what you see?" You innocently giggled, crawling onto the bed and swaying your ass as you got into position. You spread your legs, a hand running over your clothed core before dipping inside your lacey panties. Soobin growled, pulling his shirt over his head and throwing it aside.

He basically pounced on you, covering your smaller body with his larger one, his arms holding him so he hovered above you. His lips pressed against yours urgently, nipping and tugging and demanding all your attention.

You ran your fingers through his hair, pulling at his scalp to press him further into you. His bulge was pressed into your stomach, and you were so ready to have it splitting you open. Your inner thighs were slick with your wetness, so much so that you probably wouldn't need much preparation for his cock.

He wanted to prepare you, though, two fingers plunging inside your walls rapidly, almost unexpectedly. You moaned loudly, relishing in the feeling of his long fingers reaching places your own fingers never could. Soobin grinned at you as he watched you bit your lip, moving his fingers in a rough, steady rhythm.

You looked so good and Soobin wanted to devour you completely, have you screaming his name. Your walls were clenching around his fingers, getting close to your orgasm with how good he worked his fingers inside you. If you were going to cum anywhere, though, it'd be on his face or his cock.

You moaned as Soobin kneeled on the floor by the edge of the bed, roughly grabbing you by the hips with his free hand to pull you to the edge. You squirmed as his hot breath fanned against your inner thighs. Soobin gently kissed up and down your thighs, enjoying how soft your skin was, and how you eagerly tugged at his hair to try to get him where you wanted him.

Your heavy breathing and beautiful sighs were music to Soobin's ears, and he wanted to hear them over and over again. Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was you; but he promised himself in that moment that this would not be the only night that he had you lying beneath him.

"Please, Bin," you sighed in frustration, his lips edging closer and closer to your clit but never reaching. "You're being so mean."

Soobin smirked, gazing up at you from his spot between your legs. He bit the edge of your lacey panties and pulled them down with his teeth. "I'll be even meaner if you don't behave, baby," he nipped at your thigh quickly, before finally giving you what you wanted.

He suckled on your clit and his fingers danced inside your gummy walls, groaning against you as he got a taste of your wetness. You were simply delicious. The combination of his mouth and his fingers had you clenching down even harder, and Soobin sped up his actions to encourage your orgasm.

You moaned, gripping Soobin's blonde locks and pressing him further into you. "I'm gonna c-cum," you panted out.

Soobin released your sensitive clit from his lips, whispering something you couldn't make out. Before you could even whine from the sudden lack of stimulation, his thumb was on your clit and his tongue was between your folds. You screamed as he got you seeing stars, cumming all over his fingers and his face.

He greedily lapped up your juices, groaning at how good you tasted. As your high passed over you, you gently pushed against Soobin, whining at the overstimulation. "But you taste so good," he responded, slurping at your folds with his tongue.

You were so overstimulated but you felt so good, you couldn't push him away. Soobin heard you sniffle, immediately removing himself and sitting next to you on the bed, cradling your face in his heads. His eyes were filled with worry, searching yours as he tried to figure out what made you sniffle.

A single tear trailed down your cheek, and Soobin gently brushed it away. "Are you alright? Did I hurt you?"

You shook your head, placing your hands atop of his. "Just felt good- too good," you assured him, leaning in and pressing a sweet kiss to his lips. "I'm not hurt. That was amazing."

Soobin kissed your forehead, stroking your hair with one hand while he still held your cheek in the other. "You okay to keep going or do you want to stop?"

"I will start actually crying if you do not fuck me right now," you gave Soobin a teasing smile, grabbing him and pulling him on top of you. The pair of you made your way to the head of the bed, hands touching everywhere and lips never parting.

You wrapped your legs around Soobin's waist, moaning into his mouth as the feeling of his heavy cock against your wet folds. "Baby, you're really sure?" Soobin mumbled against your lips.

With your nod of assurance and a quiet whispered "yes", Soobin pulled from the kiss to align himself with your entrance. He pushed in slowly, letting you adjust. You felt so tight, so small, enveloping him in a vice grip. The room was quiet aside from the heavy breaths and scattered groans and moans, both of you getting used to the feeling of being intertwined.

You had tears in your eyes when Soobin finally bottomed out, feeling like you were being ripped apart by his dick, but it felt so good. "Please, please," you begged, grasping at his broad back for some form of grounding.

"Already dumb on my cock?" Soobin asked, chuckling. You looked beautiful underneath him, face scrunched in pleasure as he began pushing in and out of you at a steady rhythm. As much as he wanted to fuck you until you couldn't walk, you just looked so small and delicate, and he didn't want to hurt you.

"Harder," you mumbled, leaning up to press kisses to his bare chest. "Fuck me hard."

Soobin was wrapped around your finger, even if he wanted to be in control. You asked, you get. Soobin's large hands held a bruising grip on your hips as he began pistoning in and out of you like a beast in heat.

His rough movements had you clenching, had you screaming, even had you scratching at his back. Each thrust of his hips against yours had his pelvis pressing against your clit, rubbing hard for only a moment before it was over, repeating again and again. Soobin wrapped a hand around your throat for more leverage over your body, squeezing gently.

He was very, very close, but he knew you were too. His thrusts were slowing down, but he was still rough with each one. "Cum for me, doll, cream my cock," Soobin demanded through gritted teeth, his eyes never leaving your face as you moaned out his name, cumming on him.

Soobin's hips stuttered as your orgasm triggered his own, filling you to the brim with his seed. He continued to fuck into you, pushing his cum deeper and deeper in you. You pulled Soobin down to lay fully on top of you, capturing his lips with your own.

He obliged for a moment, before pulling out and rolling over. The two of you lay in silence, just trying to catch your breath.

"Come here," Soobin said, opening his arms and gesturing for you to snuggle into him. You sighed happily as you wrapped your arms around him, pressing a gentle kiss to his chest. Soobin's strong arms wrapped around your smaller frame, squeezing you lightly in affection.

" 'M sleepy," you mumbled, nuzzling your face against him. Soobin smiled, though you couldn't see it, and pressed a kiss to your head. He gently adjusted the both of you so you were under the covers, protected from the cold air as the room cooled down.

"Sleep, baby. I'm here."

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#hybeboyenthusiast #txt #txt smau #txt smut #txt social media au #txt suggestive #txt hard hours #txt hard thoughts #txt soobin #txt choi soobin #soobin x reader #choi soobin #soobin smut #soobin fluff #soobin hard thoughts #soobin hard hours #soobin smau #soobin fic #soobin series #soobin social media au #loser

[1-siracha]

obey me characters as the asian extended family stereotypes!! older brother edition

younger brothers / dateables / undateables

massive disclaimer: i am chinese-malaysian, and this is created solely off my own personal experiences and videos on the internet i have seen regarding this topic. these experiences and memories may not apply to you. this is also a joke, these are stereotypes and do not apply to all asian families or all ethnic families. also may be a little ooc since i havent played om! yet

☆

lucifer: the exemplary cousin

when i think of this guy, all i see is my younger cousin

absolute genius, gets high grades, focuses on school, DOES VIOLIN AND PIANO, wears the most concealing clothing, very mature

be prepared because your parents are about to relentlessly compare you to him

"aiyoh mc, why are you not like lucifer yet?! when he was your age, he was raising all his brothers on the streets after he fell from heaven, and what are you doing loh? smoking weed? doing cigarette? studying to be artist?"

during family gatherings, he is absolutely smothered in attention by all the aunties and uncles. most of the time sits with the parents instead of the kids and talks about whatever the fuck they talk about at the parents table

every other kid there gives him the death glare because these mfs KNOW he is loving the attention and the massive ego boost it gives him.

mammon: the disgrace

ok my southeast asian homies (and maybe south as well) we all know this mf

the main antagonist of the auntie gossip

often comes in the form of a sketchy uncle

has at LEAST two tattoos and one of them is probably a dragon (i am projecting my own disgrace uncle on to him so hard)

got in a lot of trouble for either scamming another relative out of money or gambling away their families money

smokes on the balcony during gatherings (if he's even allowed to go)

actually pretty nice and funny but nobody wants to be around him because hes a lowkey faliure. most of the older kids like hanging around him, but often dont stay around him too long as their parents are worried of his influence.

also he probably took up modeling which made the aunties hate him even more

eyes flick to mammon as he seats himself at the dining table, and he responds to them with a nervous smile. "mammon," one of the adults starts lowly, in a belittling tone that made him sick to his stomach. "didn't bring anything to the gathering, not even 古老肉..." they look at him before adding another taunt. "oh.. that's right.. you never learned mandarin, did you? nothing to contribute lah. always take, take, take with you. just LIKE WHAT YOU DID TO MY HUSBAND'S MONEY!!"

ruckus erupts as everyone on the adults table simultaneously starts yelling, as though the family tension built up over the past year head finally snapped.

shit.

Leviathan: the teenager

congratulations dude, you just got the most underrated type of asian at a family gathering.

doesn't get as much attention as lucifer due to being relatively mediocre and not as talented as him, but will occasionally his parents will flex his coding skills or an award he got at school.

doesnt really talk due to not much people at the family gathering being his age group, so he mostly sits in a very solitary corner of the kids table on an uncomfortably small plastic chair and plays games to pass the time.

SPEAKING OF GAMES

the moment the asian parents kick the kids off to the nintendo switch or wii u so they can freely argue about politics or whatever (im not sure im still stuck at the kids table 😭), this man completely shifts.

beats everyone MULTIPLE TIMES. makes them fucking bawl. oh my gosh its actually so funny.

the little kids hate him because he beats them so often in mario kart.

#obey me #obey me fanfic #obey me writing #obey me crack #obey me lucifer #om! lucifer #obey me leviathan #om! leviathan #obey me mammon #om! mammon #obey me headcannons

[lightamp]

okay okay um! cooking headcanons go

hmhm okay, you didnt give me a fandom though sooooooo

bat people since im currently reading a bat fic (if you want another fandom lmk)

alfred - obv can cook very well, but i imagine he does have a british bent so if you asked for a british dish it fucks hard but if you asked for like fideuà it would be pretty okay but your grandma's is better. he enjoys doing it.

bruce - can cook but it's very basic and bland. hates doing it for himself but would be pleased to be asked. i cant imagine him giving a shit about seasonings if he is doing it for himself but if he tried for someone else he'd be like oh this is well seasoned :) but it's just like. mid. he thinks its great though.

dick - can cook. i think it's occasionally smth he really enjoys, but not all the time. loves doing it for other people. i don't think he's that adventurous though. probably has a set of around 5ish really fantastic dishes to pull out for special times. if he likes you he Will Learn your favorite dish and try his hardest with it

jason - can cook, actually does like it a lot, likes to experiment. i think he has read salt fat acid heat and can improv easily bc he actually understands the basics super well. i think he has a preference for simpler foods, just based on his priorities, but he will bust out something complex ever so often

tim - can cook but hates it so much. if you ask him he'll be like okay :) (disgruntled). he tends towards basic things like chicken breast + rice. will not experiment. tends to be weirdly spiced bc he did it for himself too much and it's morphed into something tim-specific. prefers to just get take out or frozen shit.

steph - college strudent level cooking. she's gotta have that recipe Right There or Else. she can cook the basics w/o that and it be good though. i think her baking probably slaps. she had an easy bake as a kid and i know it (90s girl in the burbs? please she had to have). doesnt really like cooking but doesnt hate it. give her a few years and she'll have a mastered set of good dishes like dick.

cass - cannot cook but learning. i think she would be good at it, provided hands on training. messy af tho, her clean up takes a while but she doesnt mind. i think she would be like bruce in that for herself cooking is a pain and not smth she'd do but if someone were hungry she would like to feed them some real good food & would prefer to learn everyone's favorites and go from there

damien - can cook, doesn't really enjoy it but it is good. i imagine as he gets older he might develop more of an appreciation and experiment. would get really pissy if asked currently but also brag. regardless i think he would enjoy it and have fun as an adult

babs - can cook and is good. can improvise in small amounts. and a tangent- i am also physically disabled and i know sometimes cooking...it's just like. a whole fucking Thing even if you've adapated as much as you can. so i imagine babs is similar and sometimes the process is just. overwhelming and annoying. there are other times she really enjoys it though, it just depends on how things are going.

duke - can cook but i dont think he actually thinks about it all that much. it's mainly a rotation of dishes he knows well. it's good, but like. he isnt giving it much thought. a chore, if you will, autopilotesque. as he gets older i can see him being very invested if it's for someone else and going on to experiment but maintaining a non-attitude towards doing it for himself.

kate - extremely practical about it. very much like bruce in that she doesnt really like it, but her seasoning is much better. has one banger dish she pulls out for special occasions. i think as she's gotten older she's become more comfortable with it, but it's never gonna be a top priority

helena - extremely good imo. i cant imagine she didnt push herself w/ cooking. was surprised at how much she liked it at first but cooking is v enjoyable. loves to experiment, loves to learn new things, i think her wheelhouse is the sheer variety of things she likes and is willing to do

jean paul valley - you see his grad major?...he cant cook /jk jk im sorry i know yall can cook. but i dont feel like he specifically has a good handle on it. okay with like. basic pasta and jarred sauce. dont ask more of him than that. he would not want to do more than that. give him insta ramen anyday. he would not burn down the kitchen or anything but would be stressed af

if i forgot someone lo siento i think this is a good spread

#dc #headcanons #alfred pennyworth #bruce wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #stephanie brown #cassandra cain #barbara gordon #duke thomas #kate kane #helena bertinelli #jean paul valley #willing to take the L if there's smth in canon i havent seen #lotta comics man #i aint seen em all

[ballsalsda]

Hi there !! I'm currently researching a paper on xenogenders and queer online culture, and I wanted to reach out to a few people in the community to ask about their experiences. If you're up for it, I would love to hear about your gender identity and journey. /pos /gen (And if you answer, are you comfortable with being quoted with credit?) ^^

Sure! You can quote me with credit. But this is a long story that might have gaps where I don't remember stuff clearly.

So. I was assigned male at birth, and I identified with that for a long time. I'm even pretty comfortable with masculine terms now. I think it all started when my sibling came out as non binary. I was confused and I didnt know you could do that, so I was kind of a bitch about it from deadnaming to misgendering.

I used to go on the r/lgballt subreddit on reddit and look at all the funny comics. This is probably where I learned a lot of the labels and basics on being non binary. I started to identify as a demiboy when I was a little 9 year old or somewhere around that. I thought I was non binary, but I was comfortable with my AGAB. I searched around a bit (looked at a single quora thread) and concluded that I was a demiboy.

I learned about a lot of stuff through Pinterest and all the lgbtq+ wikis. I went through a lot of identities, but the one that really stuck with me was neoboy. If you've never heard of it, neoboy according to lgbtqia.wiki is "a gender with a connection to masculinity, but in a way that's largely different from how most boys/men are connected to masculinity. Neoboy is a non-binary identity that is mostly separate from being male, though it can be described as a gender that is masculine-aligned, neutral-aligned, mingender, and/or miaspec." This was it. I felt like a boy in a non-binary way.

After a lot of switching around, I came to realize that a lot of the genders I was using were mainly masculine aligned, neutral aligned, or really anything not feminine. I found the term gendersatyr on reddit before that, and I remembered that and used the term. Gendersatyr, according to gender.fandom.com, "Gendersatyr is a form of genderfluidity that does not encompass genders that are fiaspec, fingender, or binary womanhood. This identity primarily encompasses xenogenders and uncommon genders, but can/does include other genders as well."

I dont remember when I learned about xenogenders, but it was pretty early on in my journey. I paid no attention to them since I thought they didnt quite fit me. I don't remember what my first xenogender was, but according to Pinterest the first one on my gender identity board was mossgender. I know purplegender was also a big one back then.

My gender board is pretty big, and on my new Pinterest account it's also pretty big. I know a big part of my gender used to be the deep sea. Now that i think about it, abimegender was probably my first xenogender. Instead of quoting the first paragraph in this post, you can read about it here: https://gender.fandom.com/wiki/Abimegender

I also identified as a neoboy maverique for a while before what I'm about to talk about. I mean neoboy maverique as in like I identified with masculine terms and felt "masculine" but I don't really know what it means to be a boy. There probably would've been a better label for that. I think neoboy alone would've accomplished that meaning.

Recently I joined the alterhuman community. I'm an otherlinker and my linktype is a supermassive black hole. My connection to my identity as a black hole seemed to influence my gender a lot. I felt like my gender was tied to black holes. I felt like I was seeing my gender through the lense of a black hole. This leads up to one big thing.

I like to think of my gender as a black hole. I don’t experience my gender the same way my friends, peers, adults, or really anyone I know in real life does. I do call myself a boy, male, etc., but I don’t actually think I am that. Whatever that is. I feel like my gender started simple, I used to identify with the terms used on me, but as I explored what that really means, my gender got more and more complicated that it eventually imploded on itself and now it acts like a black hole. There’s the singularity, with every gender I once identified with compressed into a 0 dimensional, infinitely dense point. This is the core of my gender identity. There’s then the event horizon, that seeks to swallow any gender it can and integrate that into my identity somehow. I think of my gender in points of time. There’s the pre-supernova, before my gender imploded and became this weird black hole. There’s the supernova, which is not really any point, but a gradual shift in my identity. And then my post-supernova self, who I am now, the black hole, and how my supernova and pre-supernova identities affected how the black hole turned out. This is where things get confusing. This is where you have to stop thinking in terms of male, female, non binary, masculine, feminine, neutral, or androgynous to truly understand. My gender is everything and nothing at the same time. My gender can’t be defined in relation to male or female. My gender exists in a vacuum, not in relation to the social constructs created. My gender is a black hole, but it is also a neutron star, outer space in general, it’s the color pink, it’s the color purple. I’m agender, I’m pangender. I'm gender neutral, but I’m also completely atrinary. I’m aporagender but masc at the same exact time. I’m androgynous. I’m feminine. I’m a femboy. This is why gendered terms don’t work on me. At my core, my gender is some weird Thing. It’s a hideous black hole that hurts to look at. It’s mentally damaging to look at, but you can’t take your eyes off it. It’s like the sun in that way. This is my experience with gender, and it’s why I’ve started to shift towards exclusively using xenine expressions to describe my gender ever since the supernova.

That was a really long paragraph that probably doesn't even make much sense, but that's how I really feel in the present moment. I'm exclusively xenine, but I'm only out to like 3 of my friends, and 2 of them I've only explained the basics (that I'm non binary). I don't feel safe coming out around really anyone or opening up about my feelings to anyone except one of my friends. She's the most supportive imo.

It would be a handful to explain my gender to anyone in my classes and I would probably get laughed at. No one really understands how hard it is to figure out your gender when you're autistic with a sense of gender not tied to male, female, or even non binary terms at all since most of the non binary terms describe their enby-ness (is that a word?) in relation to how the gender binary doesn't fit them.

I feel as if it's important to describe my gender as in how it doesn't work with the system we've put in place, but I feel it's also very important to explain how your gender feels, and stop comparing your gender to the binary for a second to explain how your gender feels. I use xenogenders for this and it's really helped me because I can use black holes as a metaphor for my abomination of a gender.

I have synesthesia, and that has affected my geder because it lets me visualise my identity. I think that's the main reason on why I use xenogenders. Because I know what my gender looks like, and I need non-gendered concepts to explain it. My gender is pink, my gender is purple, my gender looks like a black hole and functions like a blck hole, my gender is so much more.

Most of the hate xenogenders get is mainly from misunderstanding how they're used. They think using a xenogender means you are that, not your gender. They think you think you are the color purple, not that your gender is purple. And I think thats a difference that's not highlighted enough.

TL;DR (aka: the labels I use today, coined by me or not coined by me): I am a xenine aligned person that uses many xenogenders. They are: blackholegender, pinkgender, purplegender, spacegender, dirkcharic (referring to dirk from homestuck), ragegender, and probably more. My gender is mainly personified by pastel colors (particularly 🩷←this pink) and black holes. In relation to the gender binary, you could say I am maverique/atrinary.

This is my experience with gender, and I hope it was enough and not too confusing. Thank you so much for offering me to infodump my identity, I didn't know I needed this and it honestly helped me figure some stuff out, not to mention I love oversharing on the internet.

#lgbtqi community #lgbt pride #lgbt #lgbtq community #lgbtq #lgbtqia #mogai #imoga #liom safe #liomogai #liom #gender #queer community #queer #xenogender #xenogenders #neogender #my journey #gender identity #infodump #tw deadnaming #tw misgendering #asks #ask #long post #long reads #really long post

[brandogenius]

I DONT THINK YOU UNDERSTAND THIS AU IS ALL I THINK ABT

munagenius being protective of littlest munagenius makes my soul cry istg just like pushing reader behind one of them in a crowd or if paparazzi is getting to close like they don’t play or ready to back them up at all times even if reader isn’t around, don’t even let some guy fo approach them

also the katie x ya big sibling/little sibling moment means everything to me as the oldest who didn’t have have that😭

ANYWAYs was crying over the math thing like ya didn’t even ask for help but they’ve got all of muna/boygenius/munagenius surrounding them like “i’ve got it guys🙄” their like “THE ANSWER IS 18!!” and ya is like “ik i knew before y’all tried to help i’ve been trying tell yall” “why did you let us go on that long ???” “i wanted to see how long it would take y’all to finally figure out second grade math”

ya meeting up with a younger celeb and their talking in genz terms and munagenius is LOST

just talking to them about you’re highschool experience and they are so into it like “what do mean you were drunk at house party your like 4 yrs old 🤨” “y’all didn’t go too parties????” or like old partners like they’ve got personal beef with some kids now bc what do mean they use to bully you

“i graduate this month” “from college?” “no highschool” “…dear god i’m old”

them reaching you things like naomi helping you learn the keys, katie teaching you how to do your makeup, lucy taking you to museums or helping you read poetry, julien helping you learn coping mechanisms/guitar/painting, phoebe helping you set up your in-ears (I LOVE THIS IDEA), jo helping you learn bass(i’m not a musical person idk really what they play

Also all their partners also being readers friends and getting attached so ya has a literal ARMY

munagenius finding readers yearbook= FEILD DAY

i have to stop or i’ll never quit😭

I AM SO NORMAL ABOUT THIS REALLY

LITTLEST MUNAGENIUS AHAJDJD THATS READERS NAME NOW “guys!! look it’s munagenius and little munagenius in the same room!!”

as an only child (sad ik) these sibling dynamics makes me so happy im like SOBS just insert myself into here and have munagenius teaching ME how to do makeup yes pls

ya can be a bit of a prankster. they like being in the company of munagenius (say they are an only child too so having jo and naomi helping them with their homework is unusual for them but they like it) just the feeling of having their little tour family all around the table working together and including ya makes them wanna cry in a positive way like “damn- i have people who actually care enough to help with my hw and studies )

imagine busting out the yearbook but to show muna now the boys being like “WE SEEN IT FIRST HA”

they have beef with your maths and history teacher. don’t ask why they just do “RICKY WHEN I SEE YOU RICKEU WHEN I SEE YOU SWINGING ARMS”

i love the trope of phoebe helping with readers in ears so much like it’s their first time and phoebes like helping them and it’s just scary at first but she helps ya with the wires etc!’

OH ABSOLUTELY!! meeting their partners (muna & the boys) and they just come in contact with you for 5 minutes and then they are like “i would fight anyone for you kid”

ya is just adopting all the adults left and right at this point

NAH LISTEN THIS IS MY URGE TO CONTINUE I LIVE FOR THESE

#pom speaks #young artist au

[penaltyboxboxbox]

Don’t listen to what people say about only children! I find that many people who speak badly about only children are projecting with the “well at at least I’m not a only child” and “only children are selfish” stuff because they have underlying issues with their siblings and family dynamic.

I have a lot of siblings and used to say stuff like that when I was younger, but I’ve since then realized that the only children I know are more well adjusted than most people :)

this is so off topic for my racecar yaoi blog but whatever i DO think its a really interesting topic and like its something that actually comes up in my life pretty often because so rarely do i meet other only children... pretty much all my friends throughout my whole life have had siblings, and i regularly meet people still who are surprised i am an only child/do not know many of them if any of them at all... and they all express that same feeling of "aren't you lonely?" "how did you learn to act around people?" etc etc etc....anyway some random ass only child thoughts and rambling under the cut if anyone cares lol

both my parents had siblings, and neither of them wanted me to have siblings, which I already think says a lot on how I got my perspective lol...both of them dealt with a lot of parentification growing up and were (thankfully) aware of it by the time they decided to have a kid.

Growing up i never wanted siblings despite all my friends having them. i think generally this was because i was a very peaceful/conflict averse child + household in general. no one in my family yelled or argued, i was like..a very chill kid who was heavily raised on Talk Out Your Feelings and Be Kind To Others.

i remember being VERY stressed out at my friends houses because of their siblings, specifically because either their siblings were always picking on us, or my friends ideal game, was always picking on their siblings. most of my exposure to siblings as a kid was just constant loops of making each other miserable, and i never enjoyed it. i remember begging my friends to just let the younger siblings play with us or whatever, because i hated experiencing them fighting with each other, hated watching their parents yell at them, it was just not something i dealt with at home and because of this i always associated siblings w/ fighting with each other + fighting with your parents. The stories even my aunts/uncles told about growing up w/ my parent as their siblings were always around how funny they thought it was to tease/harass/bully them growing up and how much trouble they would get in and i just never...I NEVER GOT THE JOKE. I WAS ALWAYS LIKE...WHY IS THIS FUN IT SOUNDS TERRIBLE...

Because I'm an only child I did grow up really close with my friends, i am old enough to be of "play in the neighborhood" generation so if i was ever lonely like...id just go outside and knock on their door and ask if they could come play. i was a playdate kid, my parents let me invite people over a lot and go over to other friends homes a lot. i grew up knowing my friends, their siblings, their parents, very well and them with mine! so i never really experienced being particularly lonely or unfamiliar with how to share, adapt to other peoples spaces, etc etc. and now as an adult i think i have friends that i consider to be "like siblings" in the things i can rely on them for, and i also have a very very close and strong relationship with both my parents.

i can see how stuff like that would be way more difficult if you dont have access to other children to spend time with or have parents who are not good people and do not care about your socialization/experiences....i def acknowledge that my experience as an only child come from the fact that my parents cared a lot about raising me, but i think that's something that is an issue regardless of siblings or not, i think a lot of bad parenting feel like they can get out of it easier, because the duty of the parent is foisted onto the sibling + people who were raised with siblings who took on parental roles think that is just...what the sibling should do/is the "right" way to raise kids so they just let it happen with their own children.

i love children and have always kind of thought if i ever had a child i'd just have one, unless i became like fabulously wealthy and had an extremely flexible job lol. my parents were able to really support and focus my interests growing up, something both of them majorly missed out on as their parents favored the interests of their siblings, which was something they always told me growing up. very much, we never got to do this, we want to make sure you can. i'd be lying if i said i didnt think it was just. more ethical in a way to make sure you can fully support ONE child, financially, emotionally, in their passions/interests/goals, than to bring multiple children into the world and not be absolutely sure you are able to give that full attention and support to all of them.....

but yeah. i love being an only child and am very thankful for my upbringing.....shout out to my parents theyre real ones. and like if you have siblings that rules and i hope u guys get on well but yeah like dont be an only child hater we were all just little kids once who had no control of our circumstances lol

#DAVE DISCUSSES PARENTING FOR ENTIRELY TOO LONG #HELLO? #ask

[dollfat]

so scared of entering a relationship and being not. good. at. it.

of not communicating, of not recognizing bids for attention. speaking out of anger things i cant take back. feeling like we're opponents trying to win over the other.

im so scared to learn i dont have the energy, the maturity, the experience for a relationship. im so scared of being a burden on my loved one. they feel like they have to teach me. i forget and hurt them.

and of course worrying about this doesnt actually prevent it. you can hurt people without intending to and it doesn't make the hurt less real. im scared of being resentful. im scared theyll feel like they cant talk to me when i upset them because im too sensitive and I'll start to cry. im scared of being taken advantage of my lack of experience. im scared ill think im being abused but really im abusing them. im scared of wanting too much from my friends and partner. im scared I'll only have shallow friendships. im scared my friends will rely on me and I'll let them down. im just some adult baby who needs to be taken care of and told what to do. and of course worrying about this doesnt prevent anything. i shouldve socialized more. i shouldve dated more. in my teens, in my 20s, while unemployed, while working. i dont want to turn a relationship into a lesson. oh well i fucked that up I'll know better next time.

im scared that my default self, when im low on energy, when im not policing my behavior, is bad to be around. im rude and unfriendly, and too much and not enough. and ill only ever be able to relax when im alone.

im scared all this proves it. i cant take criticism and cant improve. I'll just throw a tantrum and pity myself and hope the problem goes away. ill know better next time.

#this is why amabs turn to pick up artist shit #please please tell me what to do in a relationship #what are the rules i dont know tell me what to expect and how to respond #'what other people think of you doesnt matter' of course it does. it matters with every relationship ever #im not a person when im alone. im defined by my relationships with others #i want the relationship to be good. for both of us #im scared that without any obstacles id be exactly the same #im scared of driving into a tree before anyone can stop ne #im scared of living my life in my imagination until i freeze to death in my car after work #i won't be saved by pity #dear diary

[thedomesticanthropologist]

Hey Anthie, this question is kind of weird/complicated but I'll try my best to ask. It has to do with recovering from your past habits but I think it could also relate to general stress and handling difficult emotions and experiences (which would include addiction of course but sometimes like... just life too, I guess?)

Anyway, I wanted to hear how fiction helped you or currently helps you? For example I've seen people say that writing "helps" them but when I'm struggling I don't inspired to write, I feel terribly drained, and I'm also a perfectionist. I find it hard to relate to people who transform their pain into art. And I don't have any close friends in the same fandoms like I did when I was a teen so I don't have that sense of community where people encourage me to work on writing and I encourage them to work on their art/writing/etc.

I'm also not sure if it's good to entertain myself even though that might sound weird? Like I'll read, because... it's a thing I can do. And yeah, I enjoy it and have them. But I don't know if it's really aiding in "fixing" myself, and sometimes when I'm reading something, I start worrying that I'm wasting my time somehow? (I made reading more one of my goals for this year, because I went for literal years without reading for enjoyment, and thought my adult ADHD was going to make it impossible for me to ever read again, but now that I'm actually doing it, I don't know how much of an accomplishment it actually is)

Just wanted to hear if any of this ever felt relatable to you, and how you overcame it if so? Thank you and hope you continue to do great with everything, I wish you the best!

This took me a while to get to! thank you for your patience. I tried to narrow your questions down a bit so I hope this is around and about what you were wanting. Under the cut cause its long

How does fiction help with recovering from past habits, handling stress, and difficult emotions and experiences?

Fiction is a way to express yourself without making it about you specifically. You can create situations and put characters through The Horrors, or The Softness, and many writers find catharsis in the act. It can also help your brain process things, and be an outlet for all the feelings and thoughts inside. For me personally, I use fiction to explore thoughts, feelings, ideas, as well as to project or express parts of myself- Im also attracted to writing about things and people I DONT relate to, as a way of learning about them, exploring them, etc. Writing an addict as an addict can be a neat way to look at my issues through a new set of eyes, even if the addict character isn't anything like me, doesn't act the same or process the same, etc.

Can engaging in creative activities like writing be helpful, even if it doesn't feel inspiring during tough times?

Science has proven that writing down your thoughts helps your brain process them, just simply the act of translating from mind to page has benefits. Having it make sense is not as important as just simply... getting it out. Entertaining YOURSELF should always be the first priority in creating art and writing, because if we do it for others, then we are setting ourselves up for disappointment

Is it okay to entertain oneself with activities like reading during difficult times, even if it feels like it might be wasting time?

Doing things for yourself is always okay. It is never a waste of time to take care of yourself. Some people say things like "you don't always have to be productive in order to have your activities be valid" but Id go so far as to say that engaging in reading, writing, drawing, and other "self-indulgent" experiences IS being productive. its being productive for YOU. You arent something that needs to be fixed, you are someone that needs to be accepted. Recovering from self shame starts with being willing to look at yourself not as a problem, but as a person. And the things that make you feel good, regardless of whose watching or who OUTSIDE yourself benefits are worthy persuits

How can one overcome feelings of isolation and lack of community when engaging in creative pursuits?

So I kind of segued into this a little, and I just want to expand a bit. I looked this up and its pretty close to what I wanted to say so Ill share

"Focusing on your own fulfillment and growth in your creative pursuits can be empowering. Prioritize your passion and intrinsic motivation rather than seeking external validation or connection. Set meaningful goals, establish a regular routine, and celebrate your progress along the way. Embrace your creativity as a form of self-expression and personal fulfillment, nurturing your artistic voice and finding joy in the process."

This may be like, hey! I said I wanted community! but honestly, seeking out community and connection can *scare us away from trying* sometimes. Theres all these rules we put on ourselves about not being good enough, or not having friends who have the same interests, not being noticed or validated when we display our work, not having people to talk about. All of that is absolutely valid but it really gets in the way of the creative process and who we are really doing it for (us)

Community tends to appear when you start to share. Considering it a bonus instead of the focus is just a shift in perspective rather than a shift in action. Finding online communities that are related to the work you are producing and sharing what you have is great! starting conversations and new connections is great! but seeking external validation means that you can get absolutely destroyed if you share something you're proud of and no one really notices it. Its so much better to enjoy what you've created, and just put it out there with the thought that if its noticed great! but the best thing was that it was something you enjoyed making.

#asks #answers #writeblr #writerscommunity #writing #mental health

[tonysopranosfeverdreams]

can u talk more about your time in americorps? if you feel like it. i'm interested in doing it but idk if i can but i want to know what it's like

yes!! i have done americorps twice at different times in my life and they were very different experiences that were what i needed at each time

i did americorps nccc at first when i was 22 and it was probably the most life-defining experience of my life. i got to live with a small group of people and travel around the country for a year and work with different organizations which is really cool for a young person for a few different reasons, for me being:

-exposure to different types of work and organizations that are doing genuinely good work within their community. When I was in the program, we did everything from working hands-on in national and international gardens and parks, construction-type work cleaning and boarding vacant houses, working as summer school teachers and camp counselors for people with disabilities, and there are more im forgetting im sure but it really shows you the opportunities out there and pushes you out of your comfort zone to the point that you realize you are capable of much more than what you may have thought

-free food/housing, which makes it super ideal for a young person with no money and gives you the unique opportunity to actually travel and build career skills for free

-this is dependent on chance, to an extent, but i had a team i loved. we were all very very different personalities and backgrounds but very open people and we built a very strong bond which i think helped all of us learn to grow up by cooking for each other, navigating very tight living situations, having fun together, working together as a team all the time, and that's something i see a lot of people still struggling to navigate even as much older adults. but on top of those skill sets you learn, it's just fucking FUN. you get to go on tons of road trips with your best friends and meet tons of new people have cook outs, go camping, have movie nights, play hide and seek in old houses. its just really really really fun if you get paired with people who are open and caring and you learn a lot from them

There are downsides. The training for NCCC is kind of grueling. It's arguably a cult. But I easily survived on that small living stipend with the housing and food coming free and if you can take the physical training and strict rules and see them as like a way of trying new things and learning new ways to live, its actually pretty fun. I learned I actually like playing most sports and am pretty athletic. Everyone breaks all of the rules (alcohol, especially) and at least at my campus, it was very very very easy to get in trouble. I got in a lot of trouble during my stint tbh we were bad kids lol but i dont even regret that because it was fun and i learned from it and the people i was around knew me well enough to fight for me to stay in. just try not to get caught because they do kick people out at the drop of the dime, and if i had been on any other team than the highest-achieving, most close-knit one, i'm pretty sure i would have been kicked out in a heartbeat. i know multiple kids who got arrested or had other like very intense situations happen during that time, so like, it is as challenging as it is fun. please be more cautious than me if you do it.

I did AmeriCorps Vista when I was 27, after several intermediate years of working at a non-profit theatre and it was a completely different experience, but also really beneficial for me, personally. But I did get lucky again, here, in finding a career path I was interested in and people who were invested enough to put me on track for a job and trust me with some key opportunities. I'd say this is something that this option for me felt comfortable because at this point i was a full adult with expectations for autonomy and independence so it was a nice opportunity to get my foot in the door in field I cared about (for me, I had realized during my first stint that I was really passionate about making sure kids had a safe space to go during summers and afterschool, so I chose to work with an org that did that). If you do good work in VISTA, and if you commit to the work and try new things, I think it's pretty common to make a career out of it. I got the opportunity, as a VISTA, to write a grant proposal for NASA (literally on a WHIM, to give me a first stab at learning how to write grants and grow my skillset), and I got it, which basically sealed a permanent position in the org for me. From there, I was able to get additional promotions, so it was like. an extremely efficient launching point to get into a career i was interested in for me. And I think this happens for a lot of people.

Financially, VISTA Is much more difficult. I saved up some money before I started, and blew threw a lot of it just paying rent. It is possible, but i know first-hand it is very very difficult when you dont have any additional financial support, so I'd recommend trying to save up a little bit before starting or finding a living situation with roommates/where youre paying very little in rent. i do think its unethical and i know they have recently raised pay rates, since i finished my term, but i doubt it's enough to live quite comfortably without saving in advance.

In summary, NCCC is great and I'd recommend it to virtually any kid who loves to travel and wants to try new things.

VISTA is a great way to get experience in a field you think youre interested in and if you do it its very important you take risks to make yourself stand make your resume as impressive as possible

#if you have any specific questions about anything feel free to message me any time #ive been through almost all of the epic highs and lows of americorps service at this point lmao

[petorahs]

☀️ its fascinating that you say P3 has shaped your worldview because... Well not to trauma dump here but back then when I discovered the game (it was back then when p4 was already out) i was... In a REALLY bad place and wondering about unaliving myself. I wont go into much detail but kids are trash man and teens are even worse. and then this game came around. With an aesthetic I really liked. i am not a native english speaker so it was hard for me at first but somehow this game just... /spoke to me/. A game about life and death and what it means to be alive and what it means to have a REASON to live, somehow... Convinced me to go a bit longer. I mean it when I say this: Persona 3 saved my life. And no other game can ever come close to such an experience. (Even tho from a quality standpoint P5 certainly is up there)

oh dude that is so valid thank you for sharing this. seriously though, im happy that youre here! and im sure many others are too! the ☀️ brightening lives and all that :]

yea i can see why p3 just clicked with so many people since it first came out. i was always curious on why it's so beloved by fans, when p5 and even p4 are literally right there with their overall better gameplay experiences. p5 literally got the franchise mainstream to insane heights lol. im... so glad i got into persona the way i did. of course, everyone's experiences w these games are different and special to them in their own way.

i got into persona 3 as an adult and as a result the lens in which i viewed the story's themes were heightened, in a way. as a teen i just know i would have reacted more volatilely i struggle to think about it LOL but both experiences would still be pretty intense. it's just that, as an adult there's more room to digest it when im not troubled by algebra hw. i was just more equipped for it (also i played omori two summers ago LMAOO). ofc i only turned 20 a few weeks ago LOL but i get why p3 means so much to people.

because it's like... 2000s nostalgia coupled with a game that figuratively holds your hand through the uncertainty of death yknow? p3 is a friend, basically. its entire thesis is based upon companionship (exactly what i highlight in an analysis i have drafted somewhere but HHH i dont want this to get too long lmao)

in the shaping my worldviews thing... its really more like it cemented my 'philosophies' :] like i said, equipped with the stuff i learned before, p3 having the message that it did just... hit super close to home! like yeah! that's what i've been saying dude!! kindness really is enough!!

"You don't have to save the world to find meaning in life... Sometimes all you need is something simple, like someone to take care of."

LIKE YEA GIRL THATS EXACTLY IT!! its so cool! i actually admire people who grew up with p3 because man if i heard this line ages ago... well, again, idk if i would be able to grasp it fully at the time... but still! this is so good, poetry in motion. and like u said its aesthetics are gorgeous and aim to capture the essence of its themes - and it did.

im a p5 baby like bro i love p5. soft spot for it. thats the closest persona game i "grew up" with and it came at such an opportune time for me, being a teen stuck between a rock and a hard place. typical. and p5 validated my teenage angst bs so much. its so refreshing to see a game's theme being rebellion. that was me i thought. those characters are going through something that similarly happened to me. teenage rebellion is such a fun thing to explore!

so p5 validated my struggles while p3 did something deeper than that, somehow. i think it just made me .. stronger? like it made me move on from struggles. "by remembering death you learn how to live" so... i guess p3 taught me how to live as crazy as that sounds. but you get me

persona 5 overall is great -- everyone agrees, like its objectively just a better game. but persona 3 ends up more beloved because of its subjective value as a piece of art. there's a lot of heart and soul to put into it.

it's more simple when compared to p5 at first glance, but simple doesn't mean less. which is why more people experiencing it will be nice to see

#p5 is me going: im going to live and that is a threat #while p3 is: im going to live because that is what i want #persona 5 #persona 3 #persona 3 reload #aishi.txt #☀️ anon #ans #that being said p5 makes me glad to be alive too. it makes me more expressive? its a game all about not caring what other ppl think #and doing your own thing #and p5 really helped me in that LOL i do be dressing more boldly ever since p5 ngl #idk which game's more influential to me honestly like they did so much #to me as a person #normally thats embarrassing to admit but idc man these games have something in them #its the character-driven stories and them being written realistically thing i think #ALTHOUGH. i must stress that p5 characters have too many contradictions #wrote this instead of going to sleep like a normal person because uhm. ily

[nahalism]

Bonjour!about the anger//don’t animals simply fight physically when they are angry as a part of their adulting? Idrk if we should look at them for examples. In civilization are we not striving to go around what’s in our nature so exactly to: avoid having to fight, kill, harm others when we are not in the best mood, when we want something they have i could go on and on. Maybe pushing against the animalistic side of us in order to hold up our relatively organized world is what creates all those weird ways of behaviors that we call ”traumatized” now? Only speculation. Just not sure if we were meant to be simpler and more ”cruel” and actively going against it is causing what we observe now oooor is there an adult version of a human, admittedly rare in the world as we see it now right, that was supposed to rise above all of it - and like you said - leave those ways (2 sides of pendulum) of behavior in childhood when they served us during a time when we were not as developed) and move on to a more sophisticated tools and states

stay blessed <3 :]

coucouuu, çava? <3

i agree! suppression of our animalistic nature leads to perversion of it and is directly stopping human evolution into maturity. for example, in our society 'a civilised child doesnt throw tantrums'. but a child feels what it feels and has only one language to express it. so if a child has a tantrum (natural) but the adult raising it hasnt learned to teach and speak to a child (unnatural), it will silence instead of teach the child. now the child acts 'civilised' and does what its told, but isnt civilised at all, it is actually just repressed, and instead of learning how to maturely regulate and deal with emotional turmoil, has to find covert ways of meeting its needs. worse than that it has no one to blame or be mad at, cause its just inheriting the sins of the past

& as for animals, nah they dont actually. animals are quite very intelligent and quite sensible (much more than we give them credit for). if you look to nature you'll see they usually only exert force when its warranted, when their hungry, or when they're frightened. and im not just referring to domesticated animals. where im from in nigeria, the tribe my grandmothers from has a 'symbiotic relationship' for lack of a better word with the snakes and crocodiles at the river. the snakes do not attack the humans, the humans dont attack the snakes (they actually rever them). same with the crocs. they have a mutual understanding and unless one crosses a boundary things remain that way.

to my mind the highest form of civilisation is to honour nature and its laws because that is truth and cannot be destroyed. what humans have created currently emulates and is built using the truth, but can be destroyed, so is not truth itself. only study and understanding of nature, which comes from closeness to it, leads humanity to wisdom and self knowledge. as above, so below, as within, is without. & so i believe the reason were so backward is because we forgot these philosophies or we know them and are too fearful to change. were so stuck in our ego and this false world weve created (which we call civilisation) that we forgot how to start humble. how to learn about the earth and the stars before we learn about popularity, working and money. nature was the original teacher of math science and the original source of materials for the arts. etc. so yeah. its just a reflection of our societies priorities. — that said, i also think theres nothing to worry about, every generation is divided amongst the fools and wisemen. we need the contrast to evolve and know the difference. the wisemen pave a path for the youth, and the fools (there r two kinds) help the wisemen. so really everything is as its meant to be, and its possible all of this is happening to propel humanity and the world toward evolution, growth and having more experience (knowledge & wisdom).

this was acc rly interesting so thanks for sending. i love hearing u alls opinions <3 sending my love

#ask

[nightmarist]

For the artist questions, 6, 21 and 30 if you dont mind

6. What’s your least favorite thing to draw?

Ironically what people tell me to draw.

It's my love-hate with commissions, where I can need the money but dread what people are going to pay me to draw. However, I do like requests, there's a semantic difference in my brain for a request bc usually requests are framed in ways that people want me to draw something they think would match my art or think I the artist would enjoy drawing vs commissions where people want something I just couldnt care less about but Have to do it.

Since I've gotten more established professionally IRL I get to be more choosy about what I take on as commission, so I might just endup doing a whole "I'll only do commissions if I actually like your idea" since I do want to be paid for my work and I do think people have really cool ideas I would love to pry out of their tangled brains and put to paper or canvas or whatever. But even then, If I do really love someone's idea, I mean. Fuck it. I'd love to do it. I love making things for people and giving them away. The fleeting aspects of art can be art too.

21. Do you like to challenge yourself?

Yes !!! I constantly do shitty little sketches and go to drawing tutorials, ask my art instructor and professor friends for tips, tricks, ideas etc. I do a lot of exercises and recently I've become much less afraid of creating backgrounds now that I have a better grasp how to make them. Similarly I'm trying to figure out painting more, which is both fun and challenging.

I don't want to do Just realism, I would love to experiment with other styles. Now that I have actual income, I can "waste" resources (paint, canvases, etc) practicing. Usually the issue is, if I make something, I can't buy back the things I used to make it, and therefore can't continue making. One of the big reasons I've been doing so much more art lately than the past decade.

30. What inspires you to not just make art, but to be a better artist?

How do you define it? Is it what's the most realistic? I can do realism. I have. Ive been doing it since I was a young teenager, I had galleries and awards and was paid hundreds to nearly a thousand dollars for pieces. My parents kept all the money. Now that I'm an adult, no one gives a shit that some thirty year old man can paint a realistic portrait of a celebrity. It only mattered when I was 13 and 14 using a program no one ever heard of (paint tool sai) or didnt think photoshop could be anything but a photo editor. Realism isnt fun, anyway, at least not anymore for me.

I do think that things like "the basics" - anatomy and realism, still life, color theory, perspective, all should be learned to learn how to make compelling art. But they dont have to be used in polished, aesthetically pleasing ways. Once you learn how and why "oh these colors clash and make people turn away from how jarring they are" you can use that. "These perspective lines are weird" can be just as compelling when you have the knowledge to fuck around with it.

I think the thing for me is, after having collaborated with so many other artists IRL and seeing their work, art is so much more than being "good" or "better" or "best" — it's expression. What you express, how you express it, those are each personal things.

Art isn't just painting. Or embroidery. Or convention. Its this lady in town who makes full body puppet costumes out of scrap blankets and broken ceramics. Is this old woman in the country side who makes masks out of paper and crayons. Its a local punk who learned to silk screen their own T shirts with weird shit.

I guess more or less being a "better" artist for me is coming to understand that there's no actual such thing. You can have your own personal goals, set them, and make them.

In addition, "every artwork is practice for the next"

It's a perpetual cultivated skill that, when you look back, there will always be something you could have done "better"

[hella1975]

hey I have life advice to ask and if it's not cool then just go ahead and delete this-

I'm gonna be 17 soon and I was pulled out of school due to stuff I couldn't really control, so I dont really have a college/university to expect in about 2 years ish if I cant pull through out of my depression/anxiety and take the GED tests (american testing, its like a substitute for a highschool diploma, which is.... shit idk the differences to england but either way if I cant study and complete 4 giant tests, colleges/universities wont be available to me. I think.). I really could just move about anywhere I'm able to, and there's this place that I really, really love. I've done everything I can to know about it besides GOING there, because it is incredibly far away from my home. Really fucking far. It's been smth of an idea of mine I've held on to a year, like all the towns and places I dive into I just keep coming back to that spot. It feels like the one, like I can't really see myself growing old because of my depression but I can SEE it there, and I've never felt that.

The thing is I know from a few older mutuals of mine (and just other adults in gen) that things can change and while you might go to uni/college for [X Thing] you'll come out with something else you found so you'll now have [Y Thing]. like what you're expecting or want is going to change as you learn more or delve into it. I don't know how much I should take that to heart really? There's this fear that's been placed into me that I can't actually think for myself if I'm always going to be changing. I'm so confident about this rn but what about later? Sorry if this freaks you out too JFNSJMW like we're about 2-3 years apart but it just feels like so MUCH, I wanted your advice since you've got the uni experience I might miss out on

(My family is fine really like they're not going to kick me out or anything, they've just got other problems ig that I'd like to escape from because a lot of what they do has me just.. stuck with myself. It sucks being a teenager because I'm just in the middle of it all)

hi anonstie! sorry for the slow reply to this, i hope im not too late to any decision making. thank you so much for trusting me with this, it's a really scary situation for any teenager deciding on something that seems so defining, let alone with mental illness factors and possible family pressures. trust me I GET THAT. so everything i say is my opinion very tainted by my own bias and personal experiences, but you know that and asked me anyway so im gonna assume we're clear on that okay:

so as someone who not only has the uni experience but overall LOVES uni like could not have picked a better option i love my uni life i love my friends i love my independence so much that i stick doing a subject i HATE bc i love my life here so much - coming from someone in that position, you want to know what i think? if you're not sure about going to uni and genuinely think you'd be happier elsewhere, do not go. im being so serious. university is a challenge, and people know that, but you have to take what you think it's gonna be like and double how hard it really is. it's a fucking culture shock and a half and even those who settle in well (i like to think i did) still have trouble finding their feet, and it's fucking scary. you have to have a level of certainty to manage it. idk maybe im being too extreme here but ive seen so many people who regret uni and are the loneliest they've ever been, and if you already have mental illness weighing on you that's not a boat you want to be in even if you might not end up like that.

the option does not vanish just because you didn't do it at the 'correct' age. i can see ur stress around the exams and while i know fuck all about american education, i refuse to believe there's no ways around it or ways to redo at a later time, or even if you do just wind up with not very good qualifications, somewhere will take you. i was convinced that if i didnt get out of my hometwon at 18 with the natural progression in academia then i would be stuck there forever, and part of me still believes that no matter how silly it is, which is why i outright refuse to drop my subject even on the days when it eats me alive, because i think if i drop out i'll get stuck in my hometown. uni was an escape for me and that's one of the reasons i love it so much. but over time, while it still lingers i wont pretend it doesnt, ive realised how wrong that mindset is. there's so many types of people at university. some people come onto campus with their children. some people are middle-aged. some people just did a gap year. my own flatmate is a second year uni student just like us but she's a year older bc she dropped out of first year bc of covid and reapplied. uni made me realise how common MESSINESS is. i hardly know anyone who got here on the really straight and narrow route, and maybe that's just part of being the covid cohort who knows but there's not a 'correct' way of doing things.

idk i think school is very rigid UNTIL you reach eighteen, and bc the universe is such a bitch you only realise how fluid everything gets post-eighteen ONCE YOUVE MADE THE DECISIONS.

so yeah, if you want to know what i think? chase that place that's calling to you. worst case scenario is it lets you down but you finally scratch the itch; that alone is something to live for. if you ever change your mind, university and that path isn't going anywhere. there's always so much choice, we just sometimes box ourselves in until it feels like there isnt

#i feel for you genuinely you couldnt pay me any money in the world to be 18 and scared again #it's truly fucked how little guidance we get just to turn a corner and realise everything truly is fine #like geniunely things work themselves out and adulthood teaches you that #there are scary awful horrible horrible times of course. but you have autonomy and there's always options #it's not as overwhelming anymore #ask

[palettepainter]

damn dude. i hadnt seen the rowlf and teeth art yet, so with all the literal homophobic moral panic new age puritanical bitching from that other anon abt "ruined childhoods" i was sort of expecting like.. something spicy?? which would still have been fine, like. muppet porn is not my thing but people are allowed to express their thoughts through their art on their own damn blogs. so i half expected it to be steamy or risqué or even vaguely sexual from the way anon is flailing around, but nope nope not even an implication not a whiff of yiff, it's the cutest sweetest most G rated least offensive display of pure and wholesome affection ive ever seen, and the art itself is stunning in quality. perhaps anon should stop outsourcing the foundation of their personality onto the rest of the world and learn to curate their own experience online, instead of trying to control the thoughts, lives and expressions of others in a quest to reform the world into a special little homogenous space made especially just for them and nobody else. other people exist and some of us want to see the muppets kiss, because it ENRICHES our childhood memories.

anon, listen. if you dont want to see the muppets gay kiss? just.. unfollow the artist who drew gay kissing muppets. you have no right to tell people what they are and arent allowed to do with, draw images of or say about fictional characters from a tv series we ALL watched. you dont own the concept of muppets, buddy, and even if you did, not-for-profit fanworks are a legally protected form of art in most countries.

and gay romance is not sacrosanct!! if you think it is, you need to do some work killing the internalized homophobia that's clouding your view! you need to actively counter the homophobic misinformation you are regurgitating! and realize that you are not immune to being homophobic just because you are bisexual. gay people can be homophobic towards other gay people, and towards themselves. homophobia is a type of violence, and in the same way it doesn't matter who's behind the fist when youre getting punched in the face, it doesnt matter how you identify when you're claiming that a depiction of innocent gay affection is sacrosanct enough to be childhood-ruining. that shits homophobic. people who get bullied can, in fact, also bully other people. they aren't mutually exclusive concepts.

and besides, if a g rated image by an artist on tumblr can ruin your childhood memories of the characters.. was it ever really about the characters at all? did you ever actually give a shit about these characters if another person's—and I cannot stress this enough—HARMLESS and INOFFENSIVE interpretation of them in one single picture could ruin it for you? maybe you should reflect on that. and maybe you should go watch some jim henson muppet shows, i know they cover it in sesame street on multiple occasions that it's not okay to tell other people what to think or or how to play with their own toys, like it's repeated and explicit that you cannot control other people. in children, we call this behavior bratty. if a child wants their godzilla toy to have a tea party with their barbie, thats literally their right. yes, even in public where *gasp* other people will see it. and drawing is like creating your own 2D action figure. its not the original one on tv, its your personal version. telling an adult to stop drawing something and sharing it from their blog is literally a direct translation of telling a child they are playing with their toys wrong, ruining godzilla for you bc they want him to have a tea party with barbie, telling them they should only play with them the way YOU deem correct. so if you can't reconcile the way someone else is playing with their own toys in their own front yard, walk away and either go to your own house and play with your own toys or find someone else to play with. maybe you missed those very central and important parts of these shows, idk. maybe you're just too self centered to understand the lessons the muppets were trying to teach. either way, get the fuck over yourself and leave artists alone.

anyway my dear artist, i am so sorry for the behavior of that other anon, and i'm sorry if this message is way way way too long. you deserve only the highest praise, both for your work and for how you handled this whole debacle. you're an absolutely amazing mastercrafter, your skill is truly something to behold and that piece is so so precious and warms my heart and i would love to see more of ur muppet interpretations, i love you sm ok bye

I was fully expecting to wake up to an ask from that homophobic anon, if I've learnt anything from this hater it's that they're persistent. But this?? This is so fucking nice to see you have no idea!

I woke up this morning and saw I had new asks in my inbox, I was expecting hate, I was prepared for it, I was ready to make more jokes out of hateful comments. But to wake up to this?? Not just a few sentences, no a full-on paragraph that you took time out of your day to send in? It wasn't until I realised this wasn't hate did I realise how crazy it is that most days I wake up in the mornings expecting there to be hate in my ask box. This truly made me smile this morning and helped me remember that my online audience is overall a happy, supportive and kind group of people

Thank you so so much for sending in this ask - after waking up expecting hate reading this was such a nice surprise! It also helped remind me that not everyone who views my art isn't out to get me for whatever I choose to draw (this is really off topic but how did you write all this in one ask?? Whenever I've tried to send in lengthy asks to a blog it always say there's a character limit)

#Thank you so much anon #It was nice to wake up for once and not see hate in my inbox #I know I say I rarely get hate #But it def feels like I've been getting it more and more #I try not to let hate like that get to me but everyones got a limit #and it was starting to get a bit tiring

[allamericansbitch]

I will say concert etiquette is absolutely dead. It isn't just Harry Styles shows, people are actively showing up at people's concerts to pretend to sleep and play games to be recorded for a viral moment, there's been also a lot of people sexually harrasing artist screaming "mommy" and all that stuff, grabbing them without consent, etc. They're openly bullying people on stage, throwing them stuff and booing till they leave.

It's so disturbing, is it the repress energy from the pandemic? Is it younger kids that are adult now and never went to a concert before the pandemic? Is it how we have made everything a viral moment for tiktok? Is it the objectification of celebrities for easier consumption? Unsure but it is an awful trend I'm seeing right now.

Absolutely terrified of Taylor's concerts rumoured for next year. Swifties better not start peeing themselves mid concert.

Ps: Harry Styles won't say anything he never says anything about anything.

YES omg i have so many thoughts on this and i think about it constantly. i think it's a deadly combination of all the things you mentioned.

the pandemic really fucked up concerts. i think people either forgot how to act at shows or they were at the age when they started to go to shows on their own right around when the pandemic hit, so they had no experience and ended up only learning about concert etiquette through tik tok, which is a bad place to learn any sort of information.

people think just because they aren't a straight man they can yell sexually aimed phrases at women on stage. and even recently i saw a video of someone flashing a group of men on stage and people were fine with it?? like we dont do that anymore that's literally harassment and if a guy whipped out his dick he'd be called out for it, as he should be.

people are throwing things on stage constantly, even when the artists ask them to not, which is also because of tik tok videos of fans being like 'they grabbed my hat!!' and that actually might go back to harry too. there were so many videos of that. as well as fan inappropriate signs being made.

tik tok can also be blamed for the insane uptick in people camping out. they see that trend of people being like 'how long i camped outside vs the spot i got' and see people casually saying they spent 10+ outside and then getting rewarded with barricade. they are wanting to copy that and more and more people are putting themselves and others in danger in order to get closer to the artist they have a deadly parasocial relationship with. they wait outside for 10+ hours, deprive their bodies of food and water, and then they get the spot they wanted but end up fainting and ruining the show for everyone. thats why there's also been a rise in artists having to stop shows.

this can also go with the entitlement at shows. they camped out for so long that they feel a sense of ownership over their spot. if anyone dares to get them out of it they act so enraged and entitled to it that they start fights or refuse to move.

it all comes down to people wanting to be noticed so badly they are willing to make the artists they say they love really uncomfortable. they want that viral video, main character moment.

#ive thought a lot about this as you can see lol #taylor shows are probably gonna be a lot better because she doesnt do GA (i think?) everyone has an assigned seat #so no camping out #answered #a-mercurialhigh