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sensazioneultra · 1 year
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Sorry. It’s fine, it’s fine.
SILENT (2022)
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The Captain - Simon Riley x Sniper!Reader, Wife!Reader
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summary: Ghost’s sniper wife (reader) joins Task Force 141 on an op, against his wishes call sign: Freyja warning: mentions of violence and death (ofc), blood Next >>
John Price stood at a round table, leading the mission brief for the team’s upcoming operation. Ghost, Soap, and Gaz sat around the table in various positions. Soap with his boots kicked up onto the table, chair tilted back; Gaz leaned forward onto the table, his forearms on the surface; Ghost leaned back against his chair, arms crossed over his chest. Soap and Gaz wore their regulation tan t-shirts and camo pants, while Ghost was clad in a black long-sleeve and his standard skull balaclava.
“So if we’re stormin’ the building, we’re all accounted for,” Soap pointed out, clicking the pen between his fingers. “We need a sniper.”
“Called in a favor with a good friend, who should have been here–”
“Ten minutes ago,” a strong but mellow voice cut in as a figure turned through the doorway. “I know, sorry John. Got a bit caught up with my room assignment. Tried to put me on the other side of base.”
A woman came into view, offering her hand out to John. They firmly grasped each other’s forearms in a quick shake. Soap and Gaz both had only slightly surprised expressions. Not at the fact that their sniper was female; they’d worked with plenty of fierce women during their time in Task Force 141.
The fact that she did not look the part.
She wore a massively oversized black sweatshirt that brushed her thighs and dark blue skinny jeans, her hair loose down her back. Must’ve just got off a plane, Soap thought to himself, looking her up and down. Her stance showed her confidence, feet shoulder-width apart as she faced the team with a bright smile (one not often found in their field of work) and glowing skin. She wasn’t necessarily small, more average height, but her attire dwarfed her frame. 
“Thank you for joining us, Captain,” Price nodded at her. “This is Freyja. American Special Forces, sniper, undercover ops. She’s been briefed and will be joining us temporarily for the op. She comes highly recommended and outranks all of you, so I’d suggest you be on your best behavior.”
The woman jabbed Price with her elbow, rolling her eyes, much to Soap’s surprise. He barely suppressed the laugh that bubbled in his chest, unable to help the small choking laugh that escaped. Ghost glared at him and he quickly piped down.
“Thanks, John, but I think I’ll be fine. Glad to be of use.”
“Happy to have you. Let me know if you need anything while you’re here. I’ll leave you to it, get acquainted. We leave at 0400 hours. We’ll be infiltrating in daylight; prepare accordingly.”
“Aye, Captain,” Soap nodded once and saluted him, setting his chair back down as he rose. He watched John pat her shoulder on his way out, sharing what seemed like a knowing look, before finally departing to his quarters. Interesting.
Soap was the first to cross the room, taking her hand in a firm grip. “Pleasure to meet you, Captain. Sergeant John Mactavish,” he introduced, shaking her hand. He noted her equally firm grip and the cool metal of a wedding band pressing into his palm. Her skin was calloused yet soft, not as rough as his own. 
“Soap, right? Heard a lot about you.”
“Aye. Good things I hope?"
“Mostly.”
A boisterous laugh left him, so loud you’d think the room shook. Soap heard Gaz gag on his water before breaking into a choked wheeze. The other man approached, shaking her hand as well. “Kyle Garrick, call me Gaz.”
Her hands found their way into the pockets of her sweatshirt.
“So, Freyja… like the–?”
A gentle, airy giggle floated into his ears. What a lovely sound. “Yes, like the goddess. I know, my husband’s idea.”
Soap groaned, his head lolling back in faux agony as he pressed a hand to his chest. “You’re breakin’ my heart, lass. Was hopin’ ya didn’t have one’a those. He in the service?”
“He is, but you wouldn’t know him. Keeps a pretty low profile,” she shrugged, keeping her eyes on the two men in front of her.
”D’ya think I could take him?”
”Probably not.”
Neither Soap nor Gaz noticed the way Ghost’s mask twitched slightly, evidence of the smirk that pulled at his lips. But she knew his microexpressions like the back of her hand, even out of the corner of her eye. The Scot remembered Ghost’s presence suddenly and waved his hand in his direction. He hadn’t made any move to greet the newcomer and hadn’t spoken during the entire brief.
“Steamin’ Jesus, Ghost, you heard the man. Be nice to the lady!”
Ghost grunted, keeping his arms folded on his chest. “Captain.”
“Lieutenant.”
The two stared at each other, her brow quirked. As the seconds passed, the interaction became increasingly awkward for everyone else in the room. Even the thickest person on the planet could have sensed the tension. Unable to take the silence any longer, Gaz stepped in to attempt to relieve some tension. “You two worked together before?”
“You could say that,” Ghost stated as he rose from his chair. “A word, Freyja?”
Her tongue poked at the inside of her cheek and she squinted at him. It was almost comical, the height difference between the two. Typically, Soap would have made a snarky quip, if not for the vicious look in her eyes. He wouldn’t say it out loud to him, but the scowl rivaled his lieutenant‘s. Finally, she spoke, “Excuse us, gentlemen. I’ll see you in the morning. You know where to find me in the meantime.”
“G’night, Cap,” Soap nodded and moved to the side, allowing her to pass to the door. Ghost didn’t spare them another glance as he followed behind her. The two men stood silently until they heard a door slam shut up the hall. Soap snapped his gaze to Gaz and found him already looking with wide eyes.
“What was that about?”
Soap shrugged noncommittally. “Not a clue. Bad history? Ghost’s no’ exactly skilled in manners.” He went to head to his room when he noticed a military-issue duffel where Freyja had been standing, an American flag patch on the side. He bent down and slung it over his shoulder. “Left her stuff. I’m gonna drop it by ‘for hittin’ the hay. See ya in the mornin’.”
They went their separate ways, Gaz disappearing to the armory to stock up for the mission. Soap approached the only spare room in their wing and rapped his knuckles against the door. He waited for a few beats to no response and repeated the motion.
Nothing.
Soap’s brows furrowed when he heard what sounded like a muffled argument from the next door up, labeled “Lt. Riley”. Soap should have just left her duffel in front of her door and continued on his way to his bedroom, and gone to bed.
But no, he just had to snoop.
He crept toward the door, still holding the bag as he pressed his ear to the hollow wood. They clearly knew each other, but Ghost hadn’t seemed happy to see her. He felt a bit guilty spying on his lieutenant, but his curiosity was getting the better of him. He heard Ghost’s deep voice first.
“We had a deal. You’re supposed to be on leave, and Price knows that. I have half a mind to wring his fucking neck–”
“John didn’t ask me to be here, I volunteered–”
“Cut the shit, Y/N. I’m not daft. He has no place calling you in without asking me first.”
“I don’t take orders from you, Simon!”
Simon? Just how familiar were they with each other?
“Oh, I’m well aware. I just figured that when your husband asks you to stay home, you'd listen! How silly of me!”
So he knows her husband. Interesting. 
“That’s not fair, and you know it.”
“You want to talk about fair? You went around my back to my Captain. I’d say anything’s fair play at this point.” Heavy boots crossed the floor. “This isn’t just about you anymore. You’re not my superior, you’re–”
Soap shuffled his feet, he realized too late how loud the noise was in the empty hallway, and the voices suddenly stopped. He knocked in an attempt to recover, quickly stepping back from the door before it opened. The woman appeared, now in a too-big band tee, her dog tags resting on her chest. “Hi, Johnny,” she greeted, her tone significantly warmer than it had been a moment ago. 
He didn’t remember mentioning his preference for the name, but he couldn’t find a reason to comment on it then. “You, uh, left ya bag. Wanted to drop it off, figured you’d be here.”
“Oh, my bad. Thanks, I appreciate it.” He transferred her possessions to her. The bag that appeared standard when he carried it looked huge compared to her frame. The added weight did not phase her. “We have an early morning. I’m heading to bed.”
Ghost moved from his spot near the bed on the other side of the room. “Frey–”
She held a hand up, sending another chilling glare in his direction. Soap was impressed when Ghost didn’t even blink at the look. “Enough, Lieutenant. That’s an order.” He didn’t miss the eyes behind the skeleton glowering or how the fabric near his mouth shifted. 
“Yes, ma’am,” he growled through clenched teeth. 
She brushed by Soap, readjusting the bag on her shoulder as she stormed to her room, somehow gracefully maintaining her posture. Before he could turn back to question Ghost, the door swung shut in his face.
Real polite.
~*~
“Alpha-One, in position.”
“Copy that, one. Alpha-Two, in position.”
“Bravo?” Soap’s partner looked over his shoulder at the white light flashing at them in the distance. There was a muffled choking sound and a swallow, followed by a sniffle. “Freyja?”
“Sorry. Multiple armed guards. Two snipers at the east and west sides of the targets.” Her voice, while calm, sounded tired and a bit drained. As if she could sense the unspoken question, she came through their headsets again. “Little sick this morning. I’m fine.”
Ghost's jaw set and he rolled his shoulders, blinking a few times to focus. Soap noticed the motion and covered the mic on his headset. “You a’right, Lt.?” he asked, his voice concerned with his brows furrowed. 
Ghost ignored him. “Can you get a visual inside?”
“Negative. Windows are blocked in both buildings. You’re going blind.”
“What’s the call, ma’am?” Gaz’s voice.
“This is Price’s op. I’m just here for support.”
“Ghost?” Price this time. 
Ghost audibly sighed, his irritation at the situation clear. Soap wondered how bad their last encounter could have been for the usually collected man in front of him to be so disheveled. Soap looked over at the lieutenant, who had turned his attention back to the opening in the wall between them. “Bravo, hold your position. Understood?”
“Affirmative.”
“Alpha-One, move in on your target on my command.” Ghost clicked off his mic and slid the chamber back on his pistol, doing one final check.
Soap took the opportunity to follow up on his unanswered concern. “Ghost, you good? Seem tense. Something going on with the lass?”
“Shut up, Sergeant.” He reached up to click his headset back on. “Freyja cleared hot to engage.”
“Standby.” A beat passed, then another, until the suppressed shot of a sniper rifle rang through their headsets, followed by the bolt being pulled back and pushed forward. Another shot. “Clean hit. Snipers down.”
“Copy. Alpha-One, move in. Keep it quiet,” Ghost commanded, signaling Soap forward with a tilt of his head.
She watched Ghost and Soap move swiftly around structures and cars forward to their target. Her gaze periodically adjusted between them and Alpha-One, Gaz and Price. Soap’s accent was low in her ear. “Approaching target. Engaging two hostiles.”
The pair dispatched the guards with ease, the same as the other team up the road.
“Be advised, I have no eyes inside,” she reminded the group, surveying the surrounding area as both teams entered the building.
“Roger. Breaching.”
On their frequency, angry shouts and gunfire had her writing uncomfortably in her spot. She didn’t like not having a solid visual of her team; it made her feel helpless. The audio of the scene inside wasn’t helping her nerves (or nausea) much, either. The sniper was almost lost in her thoughts when she caught movement at the edge of her scope up the street.
Reinforcements.
“Ghost, engaging incoming hostiles. You might want to bug out,” she suggested, taking several shots at the armed men back-to-back. “Alpha-One, sound off.”
“Heard. Intel acquired,” Price acknowledged. “Clearing out.”
“Alpha-Two, how copy?”
The radio crackled once before Soap came through. “Copy, I’ve lost visual on Ghost. Got separated in the firefight,” he grunted, still firing shots inside the building. “‘M gonna have to squirt.”
Something wasn’t right. “Ghost, how copy?”
Silence.
“Lieutenant, what’s your status?”
Her skin crawled at the repeated silence. “Fuck.” She took a deep breath and pulled her knees underneath her body, her stomach suddenly stilling, nausea disappearing. “Abandoning post.” Her voice pierced through their radios with urgency. She abandoned her rifle and made her way down from her perch.
“Absolutely not. We’re converging at the meeting point now.” Price cursed under his breath as she brandished her sidearm and sprinted towards Ghost’s last location. “Stand down, Bravo, that’s an order!” The captain commanded, rough and authoritative.
“All due respect, Price, get bent.”
Price and Gaz watched helplessly as she disappeared into the structure, Soap approaching them from their flank. “The absolute balls on that one, aye?” he snickered, eyeballing Price. He didn’t even flinch, expression hard as steel as he rubbed his face. He hadn’t seen his captain that stressed in quite a while. Maybe not the time for jokes…
The blood-curdling screams Soap heard would scare any man straight. It sounded like a horror movie slaughterhouse over their comms, whether it was caused by Ghost or Freyja he didn’t know. He did know it was her voice that said Ghost’s name and assumed the distant, heated mumbling was Ghost. He must have lost his headset if they couldn’t hear him clearly, and what they were hearing was whatever her comms picked up. “Shut the fuck up and move. If you were fine, I wouldn’t be here, Lieutenant. You can thank me later,” she snapped, sounding eerily similar to a stereotypical angry wife. There’s no way she cleared out that entire convoy on her own…
Right?
Moments later, without any other gunfire, the pair emerged. Ghost was indeed missing his headset, while Freyja trudged in front of him, taking long steps to cross the street. Her helmet was gone, and her hair had come loose. Gun in one hand, a familiar black combat knife in the other, dripping blood. Strands of hair clung to her face, coated in dark red, along with her hands, bare arms, and vest. Soap’s eyes blew wide. “Steamin’ bloody Jesus, did she–?”
Price hummed and nodded beside him. In the same breath, she stumbled over to a car and gripped the door handle, dumping her stomach on the dusty road. Soap and Gaz moved to help, but Price stopped them with a single grunt. Ghost was immediately on her, expertly sweeping her hair into one hand as he pulled her earpiece out, cutting off their audio. One of her hands grabbed his vest for support while his other hand rested on her back.
“Well, that’s unusual,” Soap chimed, his head cocked to the side as he watched the display.
“Quit starin’ and load up. I doubt that’s the last of those reinforcements.” Price waved at them, catching Ghost’s attention and pointing to an approaching Heli, waving his hand in a “roll out” motion.
~*~
The ride back to base in the heli was one of the most awkward experiences of Soap’s life; not a word was spoken during the short trip. Ghost pulled a rag out of his vest and silently handed it to Freyja to wipe some blood from her face; she passed him the blade she had carried, and he finally placed its familiarity when Ghost tucked it into the empty holster at his hip. She looked utterly drained now that they were in close quarters. In another shocking moment, she rested her head on Ghost’s shoulder, and he didn’t move to shove her off.
What the fuck?
At the base, Ghost dropped her off at the medical bay before storming into the meeting room where the team had gathered to debrief. “You’re a dead man, Price,” he barked, finger jabbed at him as his skull plate skittered across the table when he threw it. “You fuckin’ knew–”
“Simon, I’m sorry–”
“Don’t “Simon” me. Sorry’s not gonna cut it, Captain! If she’s hurt–”
“I didn’t think she would compromise herself that easily.”
Ghost barked a dry, humorless laugh as he pointed in the general direction of the infirmary. “Of course, she’s bloody compromised! She’s my fuckin’ wife, you git!” he snarled, teeth viciously bared as he ripped off his mask.
“Hell’s fuckin’ bells…”
“Bloody hell…”
He was too angry (and, frankly, scared for his wife’s health) to acknowledge their audience. “This is exactly why I told you not to call her. I can’t focus if I’m worried about her safety right now. She’s supposed to be safe at home, resting, not running into a bloody warzone, for God’s sake!” 
“She was told not to leave her post–”
“When has she ever obeyed a direct order?”
Silence fell over the group, Price effectively losing the argument. Neither Sergeant wanted to find themselves on the other end of Ghost’s rage. They had no envy for Price and dared not get between them. No envy at all. On the other hand, Soap had so many questions. Since where was Ghost married? When did he have the time for a wife? And an American at that? How long had he been keeping her a secret?
“Simon.”
Four heads whipped to the soft voice across the room, finding the woman of the hour standing in the doorway. A superficial cut on her forehead had been taped up, her face clear of blood. Soap and Gaz stared at her in disbelief, jaws dropped as they looked from her to Ghost and back again. She chuckled at their expressions but didn’t move to approach them. “Captain Riley. Lovely to meet you both, officially,” she reintroduced herself, a slight smirk on her lips. She finally met her husband’s gaze, her expression softened at his bare face, save for the black paint.
He curled two fingers at her, one arm crossed over his chest. “C’mere. Now,” he ordered her, though his tone had little bite to it.
Even only knowing the sniper for such little time, Soap was outright shocked at the display. Flabbergasted by her obedience when she immediately strode to the spot next to him, barely leaving any space between their chests. It didn’t seem like her. He was obviously wrong, considering what he’d just witnessed. 
Ghost took a deep breath as he peered down at her, examining her visible skin for injuries. “I’m right pissed at you, love,” he muttered, allowing her to loop a finger in his belt loop.
She smiled up at him, her admiration clear now that the sergeants had been let in on the secret. “I know.”
“Don’t give me that look.” The man sighed exasperatedly and rolled his eyes. He knew he couldn’t hold his ground with that smile of hers. He dropped a gloved hand to rest on her lower belly, rubbing the spot with his thumb. “You alright?”
She placed her hand on top of his and bobbed her head. Her familiar glow from the night before had returned.
“I’d like an apology.”
“And I’d like a parade in my honor. Oh, and a good ol’ fashioned fu–”
“Oi, better watch that fuckin’ mouth of yours.”
“You love my mouth.”
“Tha’ I do. Just not right now, sweetheart.”
Soap couldn’t take it anymore. “Steamin’ blood Jesus L.t., are you…flirting?”
“Shamelessly,” she giggled, never once tearing her eyes away from the man towering over her.
Ghost rolled his eyes again, his other hand slipping into its home on the side of her neck. “You’re done. I mean it. And if you call her again, I walk,” he threatened, turning his head to address Price directly. “Don’t think I won’t.”
“Ghost, she held her own just fine,” Soap interjected from his chair. “Hen took out an entire squad practically single-handedly, plus the convoy before she went in after ya. I don’t see the problem.”
Realization dawned on Gaz suddenly, forcing him to his feet again. “You’re pregnant,” he exclaimed, both in shock and awe. “That’s why you were feeling sick. And the big clothes. You’re on maternity leave."
The lack of response from John and Freyja and how Ghost studied Gaz said everything they needed to know.
“No wonder you’ve been downright crabbit with her! Can’t say I blame ye, ‘s too dangerous out there to be mucking about with a little one in there.” Soap rose to his feet too, smiling like a cheeseball, ready to ruthlessly tease him. “How’d you manage that, Ghost? A bangin’ wife and a baby?”
“I know it’s been a while for you, Sarge–”
“Aw, away n’ bile yer heid!” the Scot barked, dismissing his lieutenant with a wave.
“English, MacTavish.”
“Sorry, sir, let me translate…Go fuck yourself.”
“Much better.”
He moved on from Ghost, addressing Freyja now. “I’ve so many questions! How long ‘ave you been together?” Soap leaned against the round table in front of them, his hands dragging across the shaved portion of his head.
“How old am I?” Ghost asked in a low, teasing timber.
Her upper lip tugged upwards as her hand wavered, indicating an estimate. “Five years, give or take.”
“Five years?! Son of the god-damn-devil, Lt! You’ve had a secret wife for five years–” He cut himself off with a gasp, his volume dropping to a brash whisper. “Does he take the mask off when you—”
“Tha’ll do, Johnny.”
Her bubbly laugh filled the room, and she swatted his tactical vest with her palm. “Si, don’t be an ass,” she warned, raising a brow at him. “Oh, John! I have pictures for you!” The woman let go of her husband and dug out folded ultrasound photos from her zipped pocket. She, Price, and Gaz moved to another corner of the room, gushing over the snapshots of her latest appointment before flying out, leaving Soap and Ghost alone by the meeting table.
A mischievous grin overtook Soap’s face. “An American, eh, Lt.? And she outranks you?”
“Not another word, Sergeant.”
A long pause stretched between them, although not long enough for Ghost’s liking.
“So… Goddess of love, beauty, and war,” he inquired, raising an eyebrow at the Brit, who threw him a questioning side-eye. Soap hummed. “Fitting.”
Soap almost gawked at the smirk (borderline smile) that Ghost bore as he watched his wife animatedly pour over her photos. “I’m well aware.” Another moment passed between them before Ghost fully turned to the other man. “Johnny?”
“Yeah, Ghost?"
“Flirt with my wife again, I’ll knock your teeth in."
"Noted, sir."
Copyright © 2023 as-is-above-so-below. All rights reserved.
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Blessing
Pairing- Ao'nung x Sully!reader
Summary- You are the twin sister of Lo'ak who is the complete opposite of each other, and when you move with the Metkayina you caught someones eye.
A/N- This was a request
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You are the complete opposite of your twin brother, his was rambunctious you were always calm, he was rebellious you were obedient somewhat. He wanted to fight you wanted to collect plants make medicine help to heal people. But somehow you fit each other just right, he was your best friend as you were his.
One time Lo'ak got into major trouble and at communal dinner someone made a joke calling you "the better twin." And it irked you to the bone. "That's not funny." You would say before returning to your previous conversation. And with all of this your father was very protective sometimes you think it's because he sees your Uncle Tommy in you doesn't wanna lose you how he lost Tommy, he never does talk about your uncle but you can just feel it.
When you had to move to the Metkayina clan it was hard but you tried your best to be happy. And when you got there it was nothing like you expected. They said you had demon blood, that hurt but you deflected it as much as you could. And then there was Ao'nung, when he first saw you he thought that his heart was going to explode in his chest your beauty was undeniable. But he was a big teaser at you and your siblings but his sister smacked some sense into him.
He would leave flirty remarks, "Looking good Y/N." When you would swim or, "How's my favorite forest girly doing." He would say or your personal favorite, "Pretty girl." and you would just reply kindly, with a "Thank you Ao'nung." Or a small, "I am fine how are you." and that just wrapped him into your love spell deeper.
Then he started to help you with things, even when you didn't need it. He just wanted a reason to be close with you. You thought he was just being helpful, but sometimes you couldn't help but get butterflies in your stomach when his hand would graze yours when lifting something into the docks, or when he addressed you as pretty girl and it drove you insane.
And now he here he was looking at his reflection making sure his hair was right before he went to talk to your father, Jake Sully. The Toruk Makto. Hell yeah he was scared but it would all be worth it. He walked into your families mauri only Jake was there sharpening his dagger. Ao'nung gulped a wad of saliva. His palms were sweaty and sweat threatened to spill all over his body.
He took a deep breath composing himself. "Hello Jake." Ao'nung spoke bringing his fingers from his forehead outward towards Jake as a sign of respect. "Ao'nung." Jake spoke suspiciously. "If you are looking for any of my kids I do not know except Y/N she's out collecting pearls for her little sister." He said sighing afterwards.
"No sir I just came to ask you something important." Ao'nung said Jake stood up at the seriousness in the younger males voice. "Yes of course what is it." Jake said. "I would like to ask for your blessing to court your daughter." Ao'nung spoke quickly and swiftly. And it seemed all the color drained from Jake's face. "M-my d-daughter Kiri?!?" Jake said running his hands over his face distraught. "No! Not Kiri, Y/N." Ao'nung corrected the male.
Jake turns to him, protective dad overload. And just before he could speak you walked in. "Hello fathe- Ao'nung, hey." You say indigo painting your face as Ao'nung says hello doing the forehead motion to you as he did to Jake, but Jake could tell he was flirting, right in front of him!
Jake looks at the interaction dread filling him. "What are you doing here?" You ask softly putting a bag filled with pearls down looking at him. "Oh I was just asking your father," Ao'nung took a deep breath once again before telling him he was asking for your father blessing. "His blessing to court you." He said turning back to his father.
A sense of excitement and happiness could be felt anyone in a ten foot radius of you. You looked at your father huge smile plastered on your face shaking your head up and down, yes. Your father took one deep breath and closed his eyes before he spoke, "Yes, you have my blessing." Jake said and Ao'nung turned to you and gave you a smile just as big as yours. "But," your dad said making you turn your attention to him. "You don't go anywhere alone I was a teenager not long ago I know what's going through that pea sized brain and I am not, repeat not having a baby under this roof, so help me god I will kill yo-" "Dad!" You yell stopping the threats being thrown at a shocked Ao'nung.
Oh and, when your brothers found out you were being courted all hell broke loose. "How could you let my baby sister be courted but that fish boy!" Neteyam spoke. "I am not a baby." You say as you finish separating fruits as your mother instructed you to. "I refuse to be brothers with that fish." Lo'ak said shaking his head. "I'm not happy about it either but if he makes her happy then let it be." Your father said to them. "Oh you are acting like children." You say throwing a price of fruit at your father.
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targaryenluvs · 5 months
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OMG HUNGER GAMES!!!
Can i ask for a finnick odair with a winner female reader who she avoids but he is obsessed with and wants to marry in front of the whole capitol
Some dark-ish fluff
WANT AND DESIRE!
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pairings: dark!finnick odair x fem!reader
warnings: obession, stalking, nc kissing, forced engagement???
summary: you’d thought you’d escaped the capitol, and to some extent, him, the ever so sweet and charming finnick odair. but it seems your fate had been signed as it seemed you couldn’t get away from him no matter how hard you tried.
a/n: i actual hate writing dark stuff cuz i never know if it’s decent, I DO FLUFF GUYS WE CAN TAKE THAT ROUTE 😭 NOT PROOF READ
you wondered what you were going to get.
all the pastries infront of you were mouthwatering and the aroma had your stomach growling.
“i’d recommend the dark chocolate cakes, they practically melt in your mouth. but maybe something as sweet as you wants a change?” and there it was, the voice and person you’d hoped to avoid. at such a large capitol party your hopes were high but it seemed as if the man had a radar, with your name on it.
“finnick, how are you?” you feigned interest as you turned his way.
“better, now that i’ve seen you.” he beamed at you, undeniably happy. it’s not as if you weren’t interesting at all, or ugly, but you truly had no idea why he was so infatuated with you. you’d never given him any signs, or at least you didn’t think you had, you’d hardly ever talked to him. even if everybody loved him, you could tell something, was off.
“how sweet of you. there are so many people here, best if i try my best to meet as many as possible, have a nice night finnick.” you dismissed him as you placed the cake down, yes it was petty but the fact that he’d suggested eating it deterred you even more-so than it’s insanely sickening contents. “i’ll come with you, the people would love it. the capitols diamond and darling. there’s not a single pair of victors as great of a duo as us sweetheart.”
and as he linked your arms together, you were off. you thought it’d be better to just go with him, stand and smile as he talked. it would give you a slight break at least, but after so much time greeting people your face was threatening to fall apart. so after an hour or so you’d excused yourself to the bathrooms, unknowing of the blonde on your trail.
“are you okay y/n?” finnicks voice asked sweetly as you lowered the towel you were using to pat down your face. “what’re you doing in here? the party’s down stairs finnick.” what did he want? you are so fucking tired of this party and just wanted to leave, you’d been here for hours already, long enough to know that it’d be appropriate to do so. and you may or may not have wanted to put as many kilometres between yourself and finnick. “i just wanted to make sure you were okay, everyone’s asking for us.”
“you, they’re asking for you. i’ve been here for a while, everyone’s seen me. you haven’t, they want you. and if you’d mind letting me exit.” as you tried to move past your wrist was caught in his tight grip. “they want to see us both sweetheart, trust me, we’re much better together. can’t you see? all of the capitol loves us together, even the districts.”
“i don’t care, if i’m going to marry someone it’ll be someone i actually like.” the door slammed shut as you walked away from him. finnick laughed, if there was thing he loved about you, it was your short temper. he walked after you, his hand clutching the velvet box in his pant pocket, he was going to propose one day, why not now?
as you made your way through the place, fake smiles aimed at everyone, finnick caught up to you. “y/n, please.” you turned around, “what? what is it?” you shouted as the party’s attention zeroed in on the two of you. you could her muttering of the people and shuttering of cameras.
this bitch.
he was down on one knee, a huge diamond ring rested in the middle of a box. his eyes glistened, teary eyed. was this dickhead really crying? as if he’d waited his whole life for this moment. “finnick-” you warned as you raised your hand, only for him to grab it and pull himself up. people were cheering and clapping as he wrapped his arms around you.
“i have loved you, since the moment i saw you. everything about you is my favourite thing, your smile, your laugh, your eyes- your gorgeous, gorgeous eyes. there’s no part of me that could go on without you. i love you so much sweetheart, so please put me out of my misery and marry me, you’re the only person i could ever imagine myself with.”
say yes!
what a lucky girl!
i knew they’d get together.
the crowd around you egged you on to accept. how could you not? finnick odair, tribute, youngest victor, terribly handsome and the capitols darling. a catch in everyone’s eyes but they couldn’t be further from the truth. a man who’d purposefully proposed infront of the capitol, knowing you could never say no. god knows what snow would do to you, let alone the capitol for breaking their favourites heart. you weren’t worried for yourself too much, you’d been a hollow shell ever since your games, but your family? your parents and siblings didn’t deserve to be killed.
“i know you’re in shock sweetheart, but i’ll take that as a yes.” finnick kissed your forehead and then slid the ring onto your finger.
the crowd is deafening and the flashes blinding.
and as he kissed you again, you couldn’t help yourself from crying. as everyone viewed it as tears of joy for being in love but you knew the truth about finnicks love for you. there was none.
just want and desire.
941 notes · View notes
catmiemy · 30 days
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Things Will Never Be the Same (Lia Wälti x Reader)
Summary: You figure out that your girlfriend hasn’t been paranoid and your best friend is actually in love with you.
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A/N: Finally managed to finish something! I have so many ideas, but I'm constantly too busy to actually write them. But I'm hopeful to have more time the next few weeks.
Also I'm definitely going to write a part two for this because I need a happy ending. So if there's anything you want to see, please tell me. :)
“Where the hell is my coffee?”
Your girlfriend’s voice reached you through the bathroom door. Both the actual words and her tone made you frown at yourself in the mirror. Apparently someone had woken up on the wrong side of the bed again. Like most mornings these days.
With a sigh you went back to applying your make up. There was no point in arguing with Jessica when she was like this. Furthermore you had a long day ahead of you and didn’t feel like wasting your energy unnecessarily. It probably, no definitely, wasn’t a good sign that you reached a point where you thought of most interactions with your girlfriend as draining, but you weren’t ready to face that fact.
Unfortunately Jessica was determined to bring the argument to you. Only a few moments after her initial shout, the door crashed open and your girlfriend marched into the room. “Where the hell is my coffee?”
Annoyance flared up inside of you. You did your best to keep a grip on your anger though, this would turn ugly if you also lost your temper, well uglier than it was going to be anyway. You hated what had become of your relationship, but no matter how hard you tried, you continuously failed at turning things around. You used to be so happy, so in love.
“Oh, I didn’t realize you were awake, otherwise I would have brought you your cup.” You tried your hardest to keep a neutral tone and an impartial expression, all the anger and pain you felt hidden behind this façade.
Bringing Jessica a cup of coffee in bed had been one of your favorite things early on in your relationship. Her eyes always lit up with sheer joy and an endless amount of love for you at this small gesture. Back then she never got tired of telling you how much it meant to her, how much she enjoyed these few minutes in bed with her favorite beverage and cuddles with you, because of course in the early days of your relationship you would always snuggle back into bed with her. Now it had become chore, which apparently you got yelled at for if you missed it once.
“I sent you a text to let you know!” Jessica pointed out sharply.
You grabbed your phone and sure enough, there was a message from her. You also noticed that you had forgotten to turn off the “Do not disturb”, but you doubted that Jessica would be receptive to this explanation. Another thing that you noticed was a message from your best friend, your teammate at both Arsenal and the national team, Lia.
I’m grabbing us some coffee.
See you at the airport!
These few words were enough to bring a smile to your face, another thing that didn’t sit right with Jessica. She snagged the phone out of your hand.
“Hey!” You protested, grabbing the phone back from her. It wasn’t hard, Jessica relented it easily once she had seen what had made you smile.
“When will you finally realize that she has a crush on you?” She basically spat at you.
 This was an old argument and one that always made your blood boil. Lia was off limits! However you didn’t have the time, or energy, for a full blown fight right now. So you restricted yourself to hissing at your girlfriend that she should really leave Lia out of this and that you would talk later. Then you pushed past her, grabbed your luggage that you had put next to the door, and left the apartment.
Unsurprisingly your uber wasn’t here yet. A quick glance at your watch revealed to you that you were a good ten minutes early. The thought of going back into your apartment and facing your girlfriend again was entirely unappealing, so you decided to stay out here. At least the weather was pleasant enough.
To avoid being seen by Jessica, which might have prompted her to come out and continue your argument, you moved a little further down the street until you were hidden behind some bushes. Standing there you were hit by the realization that this might be a new all time low for your relationship. And if you were being honest the idea that this was what the rest of your life was going to look like made you sick to your stomach. Better not to dwell on it.
The instance you entered the airport and spotted your best friend, you rushed over to her and flung your arms around her. Lia matched your motion, although a little awkwardly since she was holding two coffees.
“Hey Schätzi, is everything okay?” She asked you, worry dripping from her voice.
You nodded your head and allowed yourself to enjoy the closeness a little while longer, before extracting yourself.
“Fight with Jessica,” you mumbled.
Anger set Lia’s eyes ablaze. She bit her lips to avoid saying anything too harsh. It was no secret that the dislike between your best friend and your girlfriend was mutual. However Lia was much better at keeping civil than Jessica.
“I’m sorry. Do you want to talk about it?”
This time you shook your head, “Nah, I don’t want to think about it right now.”
As was normally the case it didn’t take long before you told Lia everything nonetheless. When it came to her you never could keep silent, no matter how closed off you were with everyone else. Lia’s soothing and caring personality made you feel like it was okay to get it all out. And even if you would never admit it, you usually felt better afterwards.
Lia was a very attentive listener. Her gaze rested on you the entire time and she nodded along, keeping a mostly neutral complexion. If you would have focused on it, you could have easily picked up on the disdain for your girlfriend in your friend’s eyes, but you didn’t want to see it.
And anyway, the more you talked about it, the more explanations you found for Jessica’s behavior. She wasn’t a morning person, she always felt a bit lonely when you had to travel because of work, anger was her go to emotion when she was overwhelmed.
“You know I think I’m going to text her that I’m sorry and that we should talk in the evening,” you announced.
Lia looked at you skeptically, asking carefully, “Why are you apologizing?”
You shrugged your shoulders, finding it more difficult than expected to answer her question. Somehow you always felt like you had to apologize around Jessica. Again, this was something you didn’t want to dwell on.
“For yelling,” you said finally, before quickly changing the subject.
The arrival at camp and especially the reunion with all your teammates that you hadn’t seen in a long time was chaotic and easy to get lost in. Still you noticed that Lia was quieter and more reserve than usual and you promised yourself to question her about it before bed. With a pang of guilt you realized that you hadn’t even asked her how she was this morning at the airport, just instantly unloading all of your stuff onto her.
Dinner dredged on for quite some time and when it was finally finished you realized that both Lia and Ana were nowhere to be seen. First you checked the room Lia and you shared, when they weren’t there you headed to Ana’s room.
You stopped in your tracks when you heard sobbing coming from the room. It didn’t sound like someone having a little cry either, no this was desperate wailing and even before you knew who was in so much turmoil, your heart broke for the unknown person. That being said, the moment you realized who was sobbing their eyes out your heart shattered into a million pieces.
“I can’t do it anymore,” a voice that you recognized instantly as the one of your best friend in the whole world, managed to get out between sobs.
As if these words were pulling you into the room, your body began moving on its own accord. You burst into the room, frantically looking around for Lia, rushing to her side the moment you spotted her on the bed. She was wrapped in Ana’s arms, but this didn’t deter you. You simply threw your arms around both of them.
“What’s happening, Schätzi? Please tell me, what’s going on. If someone hurt you, I swear to god I will kill them!” You would! No one was allowed to hurt your best friend, not when she was the sweetest person on the planet.
To your immense surprise Lia went rigid the moment she heard your voice and felt your arms around her. This didn’t make any sense; you had always been each other’s place of comfort. You looked up at Ana questioningly, startling once again when you saw the anguish in her eyes. What had you missed? Had someone died? One of Lia’s parents?
While you were still trying to make sense of this all, Lia freed herself from both yours and Ana’s arms and with a mumbled apology ran out of the room. You jumped up as well, ready to go after her and get to the bottom of this, but Ana held you back.
“Don’t,” she told you earnestly.
“I…Ana, what the hell was that? Please, you need to tell me, so I can be there for Lia. I’m her best friend, I need…” You didn’t know exactly what you needed; just whatever would help you take away Lia’s pain. You had never seen her like this, not even after any of her breakups.
Ana chewed on her lip, the internal struggle happening in her mind clear as day. In the end she sighed and said, “I can’t, Y/N. I want to because I think it’s important that you know, but it’s not my story to tell. Give Lia a little time to calm down and then try talking with her again, yeah?”
You nodded, even if in reality you had already decided not to heed Ana’s advice. How could you not try finding Lia right this second when she was this devastated? More than anything you wanted to make it better for her and you had a lot of faith that you could. You had always been there for Lia, through everything, just like she had been for you.
Therefore you began searching for Lia everywhere. First you checked your hotel room, but unsurprisingly she wasn’t there. Then you went outside because Lia loved being outdoors when she felt emotional. Again, no luck. The next hour you spent looking through every nook, but Lia was nowhere to be found.
Defeated you went back to your hotel room, hoping she had returned there by now. You held your breath when you entered, disappointment hitting you when you were greeted by a dark and empty room.
You plopped down onto the bed, not even bothering to turn on the light despite it slowly getting dark. Where was Lia? And more importantly what had happened to her? You picked up your phone, debating if you should call someone from Lia’s family. Maybe they had some information.
That’s when your phone lit up with a call from Jessica, an unwelcome remainder that you were supposed to talk everything out with her tonight. However, you didn’t have the energy for that right now; especially not when it would mean you would have to grovel until Jessica finally deemed it enough to forgive you. Lia’s words popped up in your mind, why were you even apologizing?
So you ended up ignoring the call, and you also ignored that this would inevitably lead to an even more difficult conversation with even more groveling on your part. Right now you couldn’t worry about that, all of your concerns were taken up by the whole situation with Lia.
You had lost all sense of time, so you couldn’t say how much later it was when the door was finally opened and Lia tiptoed into the room. Instantly you sat up, startling your friend who had expected, hoped really, that you were already asleep.
By now it had become pitch black in the room, and you reached towards the light switch to turn on the lights. When Lia saw your movement, she asked you not to, her voice sounding horribly hoarse. You respected her wishes, instead getting up and walking over to her in an attempt to give her a hug.
“Don’t,” Lia pleaded, cracking your heart in the process
What was going on? What had you done to make her push you away? It physically pained you not to offer Lia any comfort when she was clearly struggling, but again you listened to her boundaries.
“Lia, please talk to me,” you begged, “Ana told me…”
Later you would try to rationalize what you did next, or didn’t do to be more precise, to yourself by saying you were too stunned to stop Lia once it became apparent that she thought you were going to say that Ana had told you what was bothering her, when really you wanted to say, ‘Ana told me to leave you alone for a while, but I can’t do that.’
However a small voice would always point out that you could have stopped her at any time if you had really wanted to. The thing was though, you wanted to know what was going on with Lia, so you didn’t stop her.
“I…look…I’m so sorry! And I promise I can keep my feelings in check. I’ve been doing it for the longest time, so please…I can’t lose you! I know you’ll never love me like I love you, but I still need you in my life. Please….I’m…”
Lia’s voice broke, sobs bubbling up instead. She suppressed them successfully, but there was nothing the midfielder could do against the quiet tears streaming down her cheeks.
By now you really were shocked into silence, your mind reeling. Was it possible that Jessica had been right all this time and Lia did in fact have a crush on you? No, that was crazy! Your best friend had never given any indication that she liked you like this. Or had she?
You looked up at Lia whose whole posture screamed defeat. Her head was bent, her gaze firmly trained on the floor. The brunette had crossed her arms in front of her as if to protect herself from whatever you were going to say.
“Wait what? You have a crush on me?” This was the rather dumb response you came up with.
Lia shrugged her shoulders helplessly, her voice tear-stricken when she spoke again, “I’m not sure if that word is strong enough for what I feel, but like I said, it doesn’t matter. I can deal with it.”
She looked up at you for a moment, but was unable to even meet your eyes. Panic hit you, no matter how much Lia stressed that this wouldn’t change anything, you weren’t too sure if this was true now that it was all out in the open. You couldn’t lose her!
“But wait? Didn’t Ana already tell you this?”
Lia’s question ripped you from your downward spiral and at least for a moment the fear was drowned out by intense shame.
“No, she didn’t. I was going to say she told me to leave you alone, but then you began explaining and I just didn’t stop you because I wanted to know what’s going on so I could help,” you admitted.
Now it all made sense why Lia hadn’t wanted to talk to you about what was bothering her. You wished that you could turn back time and make different choices, so you never found out about this. But you didn’t deserve that, not after basically tricking Lia into disclosing her secret.
“What?” Lia asked in anguish, “So I could’ve...You never had to…I’m so stupid!”
And with that your best friend turned around and fled from the room. The sobs she could no longer hold back shaking her shoulders, and breaking your heart. You deserved all the fear and shame and other complicated feelings that came with this being laid open, but Lia didn’t.
You sank back down onto your bed, staring numbly at the wall, while your mind was beating yourself up mercilessly. If only you hadn’t been so selfish! How did you never notice that the most important person in your entire life was in love with you? What did that say about you?!
There were no tears, just silence and an ever growing pit in your stomach.
When the room to the hotel room was opened again sometime later, a tiny flutter of hope went through you. Maybe you could find the right words and things could go back to how they had been straight away?
This small and probably completely unrealistic hope was crushed instantly when you saw that it wasn’t Lia but Ana entering the room. She rushed over to you, engulfing you in a hug.
“Hey, how are you?”
You didn’t answer Ana’s question, but allowed yourself a moment of burying yourself in your friend’s arms. And anyway it was impossible to reply when you didn’t even know how you were, if you were really still in that hotel room, if this was in fact your life.
After a short while you pulled back, sitting up straight and focusing on the truly important topic.
“How’s Lia?” You asked, fear tinting your words.
Ana took a few seconds to answer, pondering her words. The truth wasn’t pretty, so she wanted to do her best to soften the blow.
“Not too good,” she admitted finally. “There’s just too many emotions hitting her at once. I think up until now she still had some hope that you’d return her feelings. But now that it’s all out in the open these hopes have been crushed and she just needs some time.”
While talking Ana studied you carefully. She had always wondered if maybe you returned Lia’s feelings. Not that she had ever told her friend that, the poor girl didn’t need any more confusing thoughts and emotions to deal with. Part of her wanted to ask you straightforward, but in the end Ana decided against it. Now was not the time for it, not when it was clear that you too were completely overwhelmed with everything that had happened.  
For you the thought of Lia needing time, time apart from you, made you nauseous. There was barely a day where you didn’t see or at least talk to your best friend. A reality where that wasn’t true, even if it was only for a little while, felt unbearable. However you were well aware that you weren’t in a position to make any demands. If Lia needed time, you had to accept that.
“Nadine has agreed to switch rooms with Lia so that she can stay with me. Are you okay with that?”
Ana’s soft words pulled you from your thoughts. The idea of Lia not sleeping in the bed next to you felt like another punch to the stomach. Still you pushed down your emotions and the tears burning in your eyes, and nodded.
“Okay then,” Ana said, a little unsure on how to proceed. If only she could cut herself in half and offer both Lia and you some comfort!
You decided to make it easier for her by standing up and heading to the bathroom. There you gathered Lia’s vanity bag, handing it to Ana when you returned. After that you quickly assembled all the things your best friend would need for the night. Pain shooting through you with every familiar item you picked up.
“Goodnight, Ana,” you said once you had given her everything, before disappearing into the bathroom once again to get ready for bed yourself.
You did so in record time, wanting to be in bed and be able to pretend you were already sleeping when Nadine came to the room.
At least this worked out in your favor and when you heard the door being opened again, you pressed your eyes shut and didn’t react to your teammate’s soft calls. You probably weren’t very convincing, but thankfully Nadine decided to leave you alone.
Sleep evaded you for a long time. You lay there with closed eyes, silent tears rolling down your cheeks as you tried and failed to keep your mind occupied. But no matter what you did, it kept circling back to the horrible image of Lia’s devastation once she understood that she had just revealed her biggest secret to you, the gut-wrenching realization that everything would be different now, and the fear of losing Lia once and for all.
What if she would never be able to move past this? She had so many great friends in her life, Ana, Leah, Viv and so many more, what if she realized that they were much better than you anyway? You couldn’t imagine a life without Lia. The prospect of a few weeks without her was already enough to make you want to curl up in bed and never get up again. But if you never got her back? You couldn’t do that. You couldn’t.
542 notes · View notes
awfcspencer · 3 months
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You're Gonna Go Far || awfc x reader
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awfc x teen!reader
prompt: requested!
warnings: none!
“Foord… will you please… tell your girlfriend to…. unhook her arm from… around my neck?” You struggled to breathe out because of the unworldly size of Katie’s bicep bulging straight into your windpipe. Katie had you stationed in a headlock in the middle of the changing room. You had jokingly called her ‘McCard’ after the Irishwoman had stolen the last piece of licorice out of your package before training. You felt the nickname was warranted but Katie playfully took offense and began to play wrestling with you.
“Babe, let the kid go.” Caitlin hummed out, not even looking up from her phone as she sat in her designated cubby. She was used to the antics the two of you would get up to, when the two of you were together, you both always seemed to find trouble. So today was no surprise.
Katie thankfully let go of your head as you stumble back and dramatically take several loud breaths out, even hurling over with your hands on your knees, acting as if you had just run 100 sprints to really up the show.
“Oh if football doesn’t work out, you have a career in acting.” Katie chuckled as she gently shoved your shoulder.
You mustered up your best Irish accent and said, “Of course missus, anything for you missus” pretending to be Katie, implying that she was an absolute simp for the Australian. Which was so incredibly true, but she wouldn’t be caught dead admitting it. 
“GET BACK HERE” Katie screamed as she began chasing you around the room in circles. Running out the door as you ran straight into Leah. You quickly turn around and use her body to shield you away from an angry Katie McCabe, shifting her side to side as she tries to latch onto you from around Leah.
“Hey hey hey, leave me out of your battles!” Leah told you as she escaped from your grasp. A now more serious look on the defender’s face, “Also kid, the staff wants to speak with you before training.” 
 “Ooo you’re in trouble.” Kyra joked as she stood behind Leah, trying to get back into the changing room because she forgot her water bottle. You shot her a glare, “I’m bringing you down with me if so” you told her and stuck your tongue out as you left the changing room and headed towards the main office. 
The Arsenal staff broke the news that you would be going out on loan to the London City Lionesses at the end of the week. They had made a massive bid for you and were excited about your arrival. You tried your best to contain your rocky emotions as you bid them farewell and headed out towards the pitch for training, wanting to escape the room as fast as you could.
Signing a professional contract was what every little kid dreamed of growing up and playing football. You were incredibly lucky to be able to have achieved your dreams, especially at a club with such a history like Arsenal. Growing up in the Arsenal youth academy, it was really all you knew. The Arsenal girls were at first mentors and role models and now you considered them family. You put in the work on and off the pitch and it had paid off. You signed your first contract at age 19 and each day in training you grew as a player. 
When the ACL squad had gone out, you were able to get some professional experience on the pitch, but with many of the players returning and Arsenal leveling up during the transfer windows, you had been sidelined for the most part. But Arsenal was your home. The red and gold badge meant so much more to you.
North London is your home. Meadow Park is your home. The Emirates is your home.
Temporary.
Temporary.
Temporary.
It was the only thing running through your mind. The loan was temporary. You will eventually return back to Arsenal, return back home. You would prove to your parent club that you deserved to be here. That you deserved to play here. 
“How come the kid can be late but when I’m late I have to run extra laps.” Katie joked and many of your teammates laughed as you ran onto the pitch a few minutes late after your meeting. You tried to fake a laugh, it was inherently funny, but you were focused on something much bigger. No one caught onto your act, or at least that is what you thought, trying to be extra convincing as you didn’t need the extra pestering at the moment. But Leah immediately saw through you. You had given her the same laugh when she would show you a TikTok that you saw 3 weeks ago, or when she would try and use ‘gen-z slang’ but fail terribly. It would then lead you to repeatedly call her an old woman although she was only a few years older than you. She decided to let it pass. She didn’t want to bring it up in the middle of training, but she made a mental note to ask you about it later.
At training, your mind was completely somewhere else. Your shots on goal were subpar and your passes were extremely inaccurate. All you could focus on was the impending loan and leaving your home. 
“Watch out!” Beth yelled out as her ball narrowly missed your head by mere inches as you weren’t paying attention. You were physically present on the pitch, but mentally and emotionally you were so far gone. 
Being on loan was never a good feeling, but it gave you the opportunity to grow your game and get solid minutes on the pitch. It was going to be beneficial to get match experience under your belt instead of warming the end of the bench, but that didn’t make it hurt any less.
It was ripping you away from where you belonged, where your teammates, who were now family, were.
“Kid, are you with us?” Viv's question takes you out of your trance. She can tell by the way your eyes were glazed over, or perhaps by the ball that almost sent your head clear off your shoulders. She saw your eyes the same way when you would watch Love Island on the coach to away games and she would try to talk to you, and you wouldn’t even realize.
“Yeah yeah, all good.” You lied, hoping the way your voice dropped would be unnoticed by the Dutch woman. 
You belonged in Arsenal red. The Arsenal women are your family. You couldn’t even begin to fathom leaving or playing for another club. 
Your answer seemed to suffice her as you ran off to get the ball Beth had sent way off the right side of the pitch. As you walked back, you surveyed the scene. 
First, you saw Leah. You lived with Leah when she graciously opened her home to you when you first signed, not wanting you to be alone at such a young age yet. She told you that she ‘saw herself in you’ after she had come and watched one of the academy games that you had scored at and gave the small crowd a badge tap. She bled Arsenal through and through, and that mindset was passed down to you. You were a true Gooner deep down to your core. 
Then you saw Kim. Kim was like a mother figure for you on and off the pitch. She captained you hard, but it was only because she knew you could measure up to her strict standards. She was the first one to congratulate you on a good training session or a solid game, but also the first to give you advice on how to improve your game. 
Then it was Viv. Viv was always who you turned to for advice. She knew what it was like to sign a professional contract at a young age and knew how tough it could be. You had made a good name for yourself and there were several expectations put on you, both from the public but also yourself. She always managed to say the right thing and help you calm down from the stressful nature of the sport. 
When you wanted to escape the serious part of professional football, you always found yourself goofing off with Kyra or Vic. Kyra, Vic, and you were designated the “annoying younger sisters” and the three of you gladly accepted the role. Hiding matchday kits, spraying teammates with water, or playing little pranks on the girls, it was always one of you three behind the action, or sometimes all three of you worked together to terrorize the girls.
You had made several strong connections with every single girl. They were your sisters/mothers/best friends. You couldn’t even begin to imagine leaving them. They were your family. 
A new location, a new team, and new teammates, it was terrifying.
You had decided to keep the loan a secret for now, it was too much to think about right now, and you were both nervous and scared. The secret was kept for roughly 2 hours because at lunch, sat across from Alessia, she had asked you to go with her to a new restaurant next week that she had been dying to try. 
“I’m uh going on loan” was merely breathed out in a hushed whisper. It was the first time you had said it out loud, suddenly becoming real. You were leaving. 
“Sorry didn’t catch that, what?” Alessia asked, assuming she had simply just heard you wrong and you didn’t just say that you were going on loan. 
“London City Lionesses, loan, next week.” You told her as you stared down at your food. You no longer felt like eating anymore. Bidding her goodbye before she could ask any more questions. Questions that you were not ready to answer. You didn’t want to think about the loan anymore. Walking back out to the pitch to work on a few shots on goal. Wanting to do something to clear your mind. 
Your sudden exit did not go unnoticed by your teammates as they now hurled questions at Alessia. She was sure you hadn’t told the other girls yet by the mere way you could barely say the word ‘loan’. She now connected the dots that that was the reason for your meeting before training, the reason you had been late. She was at a crossroads, does she tell her teammates or wait for you to say something, I mean it was your secret to begin with. 
“You guys will just have to ask her,” Alessia said as she shoved more food in her mouth to avoid spilling the secret, she was never good with keeping secrets. 
Several head nods targeted toward the blonde striker as they finished their meals and made moves to begin going home for the day. Something stuck with Leah though.
The fake laugh at Katie’s joke, your lack of awareness at training, and the way you left during the middle of lunch, Leah was concerned for you. 
Leah drove you every day to training and she was ready to finally go home, but she could not find you anywhere. She searched the changing room, the lunchroom, and the showers. She even interrogated Kyra and Vic thoroughly to see if they had something to do with your absence. You were nowhere to be found. 
“Leah she’s on the training pitch. She has been out there since lunch. I think that is where she escaped off too.” Viv told Leah as she entered the changing room again when she started to recheck each location to see if you had suddenly appeared. Viv had caught sight of you out there as she finished up her cooldown exercises in the gym.
Back on the training pitch, you practiced over and over. Running through different dribbling drills and hitting specific targets on goals, you were dead tired. But your mind was incredibly active. What if you never returned back to Arsenal? What if Arsenal didn’t want you anymore? Maybe the loan was a way of sending you off to be someone else’s problem? Tears began to fall from your eyes, but you continued practicing. You needed to prove you belonged on this team. All of your shots were messy and ill-timed, but you continued to practice. 
“I’ve been looking for you everywhere. Let’s go home, the car is already started.” Leah yelled out to you as she walked towards you. She was clearly unaware of what emotions you were currently going through, and the way tears fell freely down to your cheeks. “Hey, what’s wrong?” She asked as she took in your state, pulling you away from the goalpost and bringing you in for a hug, rubbing circles on your upper back as you sobbed into her chest. 
For the next couple of minutes, you stood on the pitch in Leah’s arms, embracing her warm nature and comforting essence as you calmed down a bit. Breaking the silence after your breathing had returned to a normal pace and the tears had stopped, “Do you want to talk about it?” she asked. Now shifting the two of you to sit on the pitch next to each other, but she never let go of your hand, intertwining them as she sat.
“The staff meeting was about me going on loan to London City Lionesses at the end of the week. I’m just really scared Lee. I don’t want to leave Arsenal.” You wanted to sob again thinking about leaving, even the mention of it made your heart break even more.
Leah’s more serious face turned now soft as she brushed her thumb along the top of your hand, understanding now your odd character at training all day. “I know going on loan can be scary, but you are going to grow as a player, and you will return back to us kid. You are too vital for us to lose forever. The staff just wants you to get some more professional experience and then come back to us ready to score goals and dominate.” She spoke as if she meant every single sentence, and it was because she did, and you knew that.
“So you’re not mad?” Leah was Arsenal’s number one fan, you weren’t sure how she would take you leaving and playing for another club. 
“Of course, I am not mad. You’re gonna go far kid, show London City your talents, and then eventually bring them back to Arsenal kid.” Bringing you upwards as she hugged you tightly. 
“Let’s go home now yeah?” she asked as you simply nodded into her chest. Pulling you by your hand as she led you to the car. 
Maybe going on loan would be a good thing. You would excel in a new environment, no matter how scary it was, and then return home. You would prove all the doubt in your head about not being a good enough player for Arsenal and show you could play for this team. Play in the Arsenal red. 
On the way home, Leah sent a text message to a couple of the Arsenal girls about the situation and Leah requested a team movie night at her place. All of the girls were immediately on board and would be in attendance.
When you arrived home, you wanted to be alone. It was a long day and you needed to decompress a bit from the loan news and ultimately a bad day at training. You told Leah you would be up in your room if she needed anything and that you would be back down for dinner later.
A few hours later there was a soft knock at your door and assuming it was Leah, you told her to come in. Sat on your bed with your eyes closed, thinking about everything.
"Hey kid, Leah told me about the loan." Opening your eyes to find the Irishwoman standing in the middle of your bedroom. She made her way over to your bed and sat down horizontally next to you.
"I remember when I went on loan. It was scary, yes, but it made me really appreciate what I had here at Arsenal. I worked so hard and I was able to return. I have no doubt in my mind that you will come back to us, kid." She explained to you. You didn't feel the need to respond, instead pulling her in for a hug. "There are some people here downstairs for you too." She whispered in your ear.
Together you walked downstairs to the living room and were met with several of your teammate's family. A majority of them were dressed in comfy clothes, passing around snacks on the large couch that Leah had.
"Movie night," Leah told you as she came behind you and wrapped you in a hug.
You settled in between Alessia and Leah as everyone decided on a movie to watch. Beth advocated for a movie that really nobody wanted to watch as Viv tried to negotiate with her and chose a different film.
Finally settling on a Disney classic that Leah had suggested, knowing it was your favorite of all time, Tangled, and everyone agreed.
The movie night was relaxing and chill until about halfway through when Katie began to get bored and started throwing popcorn at you from her location opposite of you on the couch. Of course that gave you the right to start throwing small gummy bears back at the Irish. A couple of them were a bit misplaced as they now hit Kyra who immediately joined in throwing her own small chocolates.
A now full small food fight happening in the living room as teammates were getting hit with snacks and throwing back whatever was thrown. Katie had left her spot on the couch and hurdled towards you, jumping on you as she battled away your swinging arms.
"Let me go Mccabe!" you screamed laughing as she placed you in a similar headlock from the morning.
Leah just let everything happen, not caring how her once perfectly clean living room was now a mess with pieces of candy thrown everywhere, or how you and Katie fought on her couch. For the first time today, Leah saw and heard you laugh and after finding the sad news, it was all she wanted when she planned the movie night, to see you have some fun and laugh.
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the-offside-rule · 2 months
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Lando Norris (McLaren) - Moving Home
Requested: yes
Prompt: Moving in with Lando x
Warnings: nope
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Lando gazed at the picturesque English countryside as they walked hand in hand up the pebbled driveway. The prospect of moving back to England with his girlfriend, Y/n, was an exciting one. He had missed the rolling hills and the vibrant culture and in all honesty, Monaco had gotten been a bit boring after a while. He remember how he tried convincing Y/n to just move to Monaco and not worry about uni since he said he would take care of her forever, but she was not going to just give up on university that easily.
As they approached a house with a "For Sale" sign, Lando couldn't help but feel a spark of anticipation. The real estate agent, a friendly man named James, greeted them with a warm smile. "Hello there! You must be Lando and Y/n. Very lovely to meet you." James said, shaking their hands. Lando smiled. "Nice to meet you, James. We're looking forward to finding the perfect place." He said, holding his hand out for Y/n to take. "Well, hopefully this is it. It's truly a remarkable house." James saud as he led them inside the house, a grand property with a spacious garden and elegant architecture. As they explored the rooms, Y/n's eyes lit up at the features that matched her wishlist.
"I'll let you both have a look around yourselves. I just need to make a call." James said before leaving the room. "This is beautiful, but-" Y/n hesitated, glancing at Lando with concern. "It's quite expensive, isn't it? Almost 4 million pounds." Lando squeezed her hand reassuringly. "Don't worry, love. I want us to have the best. I'll take care of it." Y/n smiled, feeling a wave of warmth. "You're sure? It won't be too much will it?" Lando laughed. "Darling, I got paid 20 million last year. This place is not not much." They continued the tour, discussing how they would decorate each room and imagining their life in this idyllic setting.
Over tea in the cozy kitchen, they finalized their decision. Lando looked at Y/n with determination. "This is the one. I want you to be happy, and if it means a beautiful home in England, then it's worth every penny." Y/n's eyes shimmered with gratitude as they held each9thwrs hand on the table. "Perfect, I can get a payment plan started out for you if you'd like and then-"
"No, no, I have the money just tell me when you want it and I'll send it on over." The dealer was gobsmacked. He didn't exactly know how to react to this 24 year old saying he can just pay off his house whenever it is needed. "I mean, whenever you'd like to move in." Lando nodded. "Let me call my bank and I'll have the money sent over." Lando stood up, smoothenlling out his shirt and shaking hands with James. "Please doing business." Jame said. "I will call you to finalise everything." Lando placed his hand behind Y/n. "Of course, we'll be in touch."
A matter of weeks later, Lando and Y/n shared laughter as they tackled the mountain of boxes in their new home. "I hope our furniture isn't lost in this bloody cardboard." Lando quipped, holding up a lampshade. Y/n chuckled, setting a box down. "Well, at least we'll have a well-lit maze." Lando plopped down onto the sofa, completely exhausted from hoisting boxes around everywhere. "You okay?" Y/n asked sitting beside him. "Just tired. I honestly thought being a racing driver would prepare me for this, but these boxes are giving me a headache." Y/n leaned on his shoulder. "Well, maybe if you drove as fast as you unpack, we'd be done by now."
"Rude."
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alexawynters · 2 months
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Mommy Knows Best - w.m x r blurb
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Summary: Wanda convincing R to let her to all the thinking for her
Warnings: Ehhh... allusions to manipulation, kidnapping, stalking.
A/N: So ahhh... I wrote this in 15 minutes while at work in a part of the office I very much didn't want to be in. This isn't connected to anything. I don't intend on expanding this bc I have no spoons and the plot bunnies won't settle on anything definitively. But if anybody wants to take a crack at it, pleeeeaaase do! Just like.. link me so I can read it because I am thirsty. Also all of this was typed up on my phone so sorry for any typos, or formatting issues. I left my laptop at home today like a dumbass..
Wanda's hand cradled your face with a gentle yet possessive grip. "I knew that you needed me the moment I laid eyes on you in that coffee shop."
Your eyes widened at the older woman's confession. Out of all the times you had met up with Wanda, it had never been at a coffee shop. Her implication that she had been watching you sent a bolt of fear down your spine.
"Such a sweet little thing, so easily flustered." She appraised you with a keen eye, searching for any hint that you might try to run. "You were just trying to substitute the milk in your coffee order, yet you couldn't even do that without nearly breaking out into tears. Poor thing. You just needed your Mommy to do all your difficult thinking for you, huh?"
The older woman's voice had taken on an almost saccharine quality, while simultaneously dripping with condescension. You couldn't have explained it if you tried, but something about her tone, her words, turned your head all fuzzy.
Alarm bells that should have been clanging loudly were but a distant detail in your peripheral, not worthy of your attention when the alternative was listening to Wanda's honeyed voice. You should be concerned. A normal person would be leaving this crazy woman as fast as their legs could carry them. Yet instead, you practically meted into Wanda's touch, almost craving it.
The witch gave a subtle smirk at the way your eyes glossed over when she talked down to you. This was going to be even easier than Wanda had thought. She might not even need to use her magic if you were already this responsive to her. Frankly, Wanda was delighted.
"Use your words, kotenok. I know you're just a dumb baby, and words are hard, but when Mommy asks you a question, I expect an answer."
Her grip turned firm, border lining on painful. Glassy eyes snapped open.
"Y-yes, Mommy. I just needed you to do all the thinking for me."
Your face flushed bright red as you spoke the words, but you couldn't bring yourself to take them back. Now that they had been released into the universe, the words rang true for you. They simply felt... right. Your trusting gaze met Wanda's domineering one, seeking any sign of her approval.
The older woman gave a salacious grin, very much reminiscent of a cat who caught the canary. "There's my good girl," she cooed, caressing the apple of your cheek with her thumb.
Lulled into a false sense of safety and security, you tilted your head. Leaning into her touch, you were practically simpering from her praise and touch. Why had you ever been concerned, you wondered? This was Wanda. She would always take care of you. She would never even dream of harming you. If only you knew the extent of the very real danger you were in, you might have tried to run. Not that you would have gotten far, but Wanda might have enjoyed the thrill of the chase.
Nevertheless, she had you right where she wanted you and why make it unpleasant when you were so... willing? The witch reveled in how pliant you were. Like putty in her hands, ready to be shaped and molded into the perfect plaything for her.
"Now kotenok," she said softly. "Why don't you go get changed into something comfortable and we can watch movies? I took the liberty of bringing over some of your clothes from your apartment as you won't be staying there anymore."
The former Avenger patted your cheek gently, sending you off on your way. It was only a few feet you had made before hesitating, turning to look at the older woman.
"Mommy...." You tried the title, and it rolled off your tongue surprisingly easily. "Why. won't I be staying at my apartment anymore? I'm still paying rent on it for another seven months." Uncertainty rolled off of you in waves.
Wanda bit the inside of her cheek, reigning her temper in. She needed to be understanding, but firm with you if she planned to get you completely under her thumb without scaring you off.
"You let Mommy worry about all of that. Those are big girl thoughts, and you wanted Mommy to do all the thinking for you, isn't that right?" Her voice was filled with exaggerated patience and condescension.
Part of you wanted to push the question. If you weren't going to be staying at your flat anymore then Wanda must mean for you to stay with her. Unfortunately, you couldn't afford rent in both places, so if you needed to sublet your flat, the sooner you knew for sure, the better. Not once did you question how, when, or why the redhead had picked up your clothes, being so focused about this rent situation.
Still, as you caught Wanda's steadily hardening gaze due to your lack of immediate cooperation, you could have sworn you almost saw a subtle flash of scarlet in her eyes. Opting not to upset the woman you were quickly falling for, you promptly turned on your heel, intent on doing as she had asked.
Unbeknownst to you, Wanda Maximoff was observing your trailing form with a razor-sharp gaze. She felt triumphant, everything was going according to plan, and you were honestly making it too easy on her. Soon you would belong to her, and by the time you realized, it would be too late.
A/N 2: What are we thinking? Bin it? Try to write it from the beginning? Or maybe keep going and only have the beginning appear in flashback format? I know I need to update Scarlet Whispers and I'm gonna, I swear! Just... effort. lol
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transmascaraa · 3 months
Note
hi! is it ok to req a lyney, gaming, and/or bennett scenario where reader likes to kiss key areas on their body? e.i. lyney's teardrop makeup, the x scar on bennett's shoulder, gaming's little neck mole, etc.
it doesn't have to be all of them btw! just ideas stemmed from my brainrot
— 🧷anon
multiple characters headcannons!
kissing key areas on their bodies... how do they react?
characters: bennett, gaming, lyney x gn!reader
author's note: HELP I LOVE THIS REQUEST TOO MUCH I SHOULD BE CONCERNED IT'S SUCH A CUTE IDEAAA i tried my best please i'll be obsessed with this one i just know it
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๑ Bennett
-he would be a bit surprised bffr
-you would kiss his scar while telling him that it's okay to be clumsy that it's no big deal etc that you'll love him nonetheless
-he would be blushing and just thanking you a billion times(he still hasn't said it enough)
-and you'd just kiss him which would only make him blush more
-he's a blushing mess
-he doesn't know how to return the favor
-so yk
-he returns the favor by giving you a little kiss on your lips
-hoping that it was enough(for him it wasn't)
-but if he didn't accept it, you would continue kissing the scar and even tickling him until he accepted it and thought he had thanked you enough.
-in reality, he just doesn't want you to leave him because of his unluckiness.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
✷ Gaming
-he's a total sweetheart help
-you'd kiss that mole on his neck and he would be a tomato already there
-off topic for a second but i love that he has a mole because i have moles all over my body and just one on him means sm to me for some reason(i'm not okay) so idk wether to feel proud or not about them
-anyways back to gaming
-he would blush and after you looked back up at him he would hide his face in your neck
-hiding that adorable blushing face of his
-you just tell him that it's cute and continue doing it until he's more than just a blushing mess.
-he wants to return the favor so he showers you with kisses.
-be ready for him being extra cure for the nextt few days.
-and if course, clingy as fuck.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
✯ Lyney
-bro will be flabbergasted.
-he's the flitry one, he's the rizzler, he's the more dominant one!
-so when you catch him off guard like that after a show as a sign of praise...
-he is as red as his pyro vision.
-he's so embarrassed that he doesn't even hide his face, just stand there frozen(even tho he's tehnically burning on the unside)
-he doesn't understand how you make him feel so hot, but loves it so much despite not telling you so
-and when you'd pull back from his cheek, where his signature teardrop makeup mark is...
-he's looking at you. just looking.
-red as fuck.
-he's adorable.
-so in order to get at least a bit of lyney back, you'll have to drag him with you.
-for the rest of the day, he'll be completely flabbergasted. and tonight, he'll keep his hand on where the mark is, not daring to wipe it off.
-(he was looking at himself in the mirror and just graced his fingers over the mark gently, admiring it.)
-for the next few days, he's more than clingy.
-and for the rest of your guys' lives, he'll never miss a day when he doesn't draw that mark on his cheek.
-and if you kiss it ever again, the cycle restarts itself...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i have an obsession okay
LYNEY'S PART IS LONGER I'M SORRY BUT I'M LITERALLY OMW TO WRITE THAT BRAINROT OR WHATEVER
but the others were precious i swear i love them all(favorite vision is anemo why tf do i like short pyro men)
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mcu-coworkers · 10 months
Text
Where do broken hearts go?
Miguel O’Hara x reader
Summary: You decide to do Miguel a favor and give him what he wants. or so you thought you did.
Word count:1k+
A/n: I came up with this at 1am:0 pt.2 is in the works
Parts: I^ II  III
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Ever since the multiverse was disrupted he changed.
Little by little, day by day, you began to see it worsen. You began to see him worsen.
And there was nothing you could do to help him, he made that very clear.
You loved Miguel with every fiber of your being. It was almost embarrassing considering he barely did so much as look your way when he came home.
It wasn't always like this, and those were the moments you clung to when your thoughts were at their darkest.
Before all of this he was happy, we were happy.
The man   I   loved kissed me almost every second we were together and never went a day without telling me a cheesy punch line to get a laugh out of me.
When he proposed to you it was the happiest day of your life, you thought it could only get better from here.
You were marrying the love of your life. What could go wrong?
You understood him, or at least you tried but it was hard at times when the closest you could get to him lately was standing on the other side of the door to his office where he’d just ignore you some more.
The furthest you got was when you urged him to talk to you but all he said was “ You? What could you possibly do to help me? You don't even know what a cannon event is let alone an anomaly! Por dios.” and straight into his office he went.
As much as you loved your husband you knew that a minute more of this would kill you.
You were two strangers living under the safe roof at this point, he wouldn't even notice if you left.
So you did.
First you called your lawyer to prepare the divorce papers, next you found a place to stay, packed your bags and now you were ready.
You wanted to tell him face to face but as soon as you looked his way he shrugged you off once again.
“Not now Y/n  I   have reports to write for the spider society.”  and like always you were just another fly on the wall.
Sighing with tears brimming your eyes you grabbed a notebook and a pen.
You began writing a goodbye that he probably wouldn't even bother to read.
Dear Miguel,
Things haven't been the same for sometime now. It feels like the man  I   once fell in love with doesn't love me anymore and I've been hurting ever since.   I   feel like I'm holding you back from achieving your goal with all of these canon events and things  I   don't understand. I   can't live like this anymore and I'm sorry it took me so long to realize.   I   guess what I'm trying  to tell you is that I'm leaving. Next to this note that you might not even read is an envelope with divorce papers that I've already signed and left ready for you to give to my lawyer to finalize the divorce. Lastly,  I   want to thank you for giving me what will always be the best years of my life. I'll cherish them with everything  I   am and always smile at the beautiful memories we made together. I'm sorry things didn't work out the way we thought they would.
With love always,
Y/n L/n
You didn't realize at what moment you began to cry but you’d managed to stain the letter. At that point you had no energy to write the damn thing all over again so you just folded it up and left it on top of the envelope.
Taking off your ring and wedding bang you set them next to it and walked out the door.
Giving what was once your home one last look, you turned your back to it and let the cool air hit your face as you got in your car and made your way to the airport.
No more going back Y/n, no more Miguel O’hara.
Little did you know as soon as you’d closed that front door Miguel's head poked out of his office, you never went out this late at night.
“Y/n? What did  I   tell you about taking out the trash?  I  ‘ll do it.” he said as he came out of his office annoyed by your lack of communication.
“Y/n? Y/n! Donde estas mujer?” (where are you woman?) he spoke out as he walked around the house.
No response.
After checking all the rooms and coming up empty handed Miguel started to feel a tightness in his chest.
“Boss, you should see these reports.” Lyla said over his shoulder.
“Not now Lyla  I  ‘m looking for my wife.” he said, shrugging the AI off.
“You think that stuff on the counter will give some clues?” she said pointing towards the letters in the kitchen.
Stopping in his tracks he turned towards the kitchen.
There was no fucking way, he thought to himself.
You’d never do this to him.
But you did.
Opening the letter he read it and quickly that tightness in his chest got tighter and his body began to shake as he felt panic consume him.
“Miguel… that envelope.” Lyla said quietly hoping it wasn't what she thought. But it was and she could just see her boss begin to break.
Ripping the envelope open he realized this isn't some kind of sick joke from your part.
Seeing your signature at the end of the page broke Miguel to pieces.
He read over the letter over and over hoping to find some clue as to where you went so he could bring you back home to him.
He knew he'd been distant for some time now but he didnt know it had affected you this badly, if he did he would've changed.
He would do anything to keep you by his side. He thought that by coming home at a decent hour you'd be happy even if he was just in his office.
Well fuck was he so wrong about that.
Picking up your rings Miguel finally let go of the tears he’d been trying so hard to hold back.
The feeling of the cold silver in the palm of his hands was like a slap in the face forcing him to accept that you’d left him.
You left thinking he hated you and for that he’d never be able to forgive himself, not for that or any of this.
Taking a deep breath he tried to focus.
“Lyla, call Jess, tell her she's in charge of the spider society until  I find my wife and bring her home.” he ordered as he stood up walking towards your shared bedroom.
“Yes boss. Go get your girl back!.” she replied wishing him the best of luck before heading off to find his sub in.
Miguel had all the resources in the world, finding you would only take him seconds.
It was convincing you to come back that would be his biggest challenge.
But first he was paying a visit to your lawyer.
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literallykenmaandshoyo · 10 months
Text
Type Of Boyfriend They Are
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Karasuno x Gender Neutral!Reader Headcanons
Warnings: Language. That's pretty much it.
Author's Note: I've been having a pretty heavy case of writer's block especially with a lot of things going on in my life right now. My mental health is a bit unstable, but I had this idea written down in my list of writing ideas and thought that it was so cute. I hope you all enjoy, and I'll probably make headcanons for the rest of the schools too!
Hope you all enjoy and I hope that you all are doing well <3
~Mod Shoyo <3
-Kageyama, Shoyo, Yamaguchi, Tsukishima, Daichi, Asahi, Sugawara, Tanaka, Noya
Kageyama Tobio:
He’s very stand-offish when the two of you first meet
“uh… can I help you?”
Once the two of you get to know each other though, you find out that he’s actually a closeted crackhead under that harsh exterior he has
After dating for a couple of months, he’s very comfortable with you and loves spending time with you
QUALITY TIME AND GIFT GIVING BOYFRIEND.
Whether you like volleyball or not, he’s asking you to help him practice, come to his games, come to his practice matches, he wants you to be there for EVERYTHING
If you manage to show your support by making him a sign or putting his number on your cheeks at one of his games??????
He definitely will deny it, but he absolutely adores it.
“You should do this more often, it was sweet.”
Shoyo teases you guys all the time and says that you’re the only one that brings out the rational side of Tobio
That will normally end with Shoyo getting hurt somehow, no matter how much you tell Kageyama to leave him alone
You still love him though <3
Hinata Shoyo:
OH MY GODDDDDDDDD
The absolute biggest ball of sunshine ever
Golden. Retriever. Boyfriend. 
He’s very heavy on physical touch and quality time
No matter what you’re doing, Shoyo always wants to be there just to see what you’re doing
“Ooh whatcha up to lovey?”
He’s like a lap dog. He will lay his head in your lap just so he can stare up at you while you’re doing whatever you’re doing
Whenever you show up to his games he gets SO NERVOUS???? Like his stomach issues multiply by a hundred because you’re literally in the stands to watch HIM.
In the end, he always tries his best because he wants you to be so proud of him and enjoy watching him play!!
Everyone on the team loves you, you’re literally the only person that can make Shoyo shut up for more than five minutes because he just LOVES to admire you and appreciate how perfect you are.
“You’re so gorgeous… we should like… kiss or something.”
He’s so affectionate it’s too cute.
Yamaguchi Tadashi:
Tadashi just loves when you’re being you.
He’s always sneaking glances at you and just thinking about how soft your features are and how lucky he is to have bagged someone like you.
GIFT GIVING. GIFT GIVING. GIFT GIVING.
“Hey love, I found this super cute keychain while I was at the store with Tsuki the other day and it reminded me of you!”
“I remember you saying that this was your favorite and they only had one left, so I had to get it before someone else that wasn’t you did!”
He’s just so thoughtful. He always remembers the little things.
The very first day you kissed him? He celebrates it every year by giving you a million smooches.
You only like one very specific flavor of ice cream? He will never ever give you a different flavor and goes to multiple stores if he has to when they don’t have it
He isn’t the biggest with PDA, but he will most definitely hold your hand and kiss your cheek, forehead, or your hand.
He just gets a little shy when he’s out in public with you, but only because he doesn’t want other people looking at you and thinking that they have a chance with you.
He’s so non-confrontational, but if push comes to shove, he’ll make sure that everyone knows you’re his.
He just loves you so much and he’s so glad that you’re his. Forever. <3
Kei Tsukishima:
HE’S SO SARCASTIC IT’S ANNOYING.
Likes to play this game in public where he acts like he isn’t your boyfriend
“Excuse me, do I know you?”
HE LITERALLY HELD HANDS WITH YOU WALKING INTO THE STORE?!?!??!
You can be sarcastic too, so he’s just glad that you can take jokes and rip on his teammates or randos in the street
This dude has such a killer resting bitch face when he notices people eyeing you.
Noya tested his luck flirting with you one time and, despite Noya being his upperclassman, Tsuki almost killed him with just one look
He secretly loves how much you fuss over him.
“Babe, your glasses are so DIRTY. Here let me clean them before you run into something,”
He literally stopped the habit of cleaning his lenses because you’ll just take them and clean them for him
He loves watching you fog the lenses up with your breath and wipe them with the microfiber cloth that came in his case
Even if you only look like a big blur of colors to him and you’re all blurry <3
Tanaka Ryuunosuke:
The most respectful yet horny boyfriend at the same time
“What the hell do you mean that guy cat called you?”
He says as his hand is resting on your ass, giving it an occasional squeeze from time to time.
Very overprotective, but not in an overbearing way
Despite how loud and chaotic he may be (especially when he’s with Noya) he always picks up on your small cues and knows when you’re uncomfy or feeling a little out of place
He loves to bring you up at all times
“You know that’s crazy, because my baby loves to eat meat buns and can easily smash like seven of them in one sitting. *sigh* I’m so in love.”
Daichi literally just told him what he ate for lunch today when Tanaka asked.
PDA is his JAM.
Always has a hand somewhere on you and loves how you just nuzzle into his touch whenever he’s with you
It’s everything he’s ever wanted in life and he’s so stoked that he finally has it
His favorite place is your ass though. It’s easy access and it’s very soft and comfy in his palm
Nishinoya Yuu:
SOMEONE SEDATE HIM HE’S SO ENERGETIC
The type of boyfriend to annoy you and push your buttons all day and then just lay a million kisses all over your face at the end of the day as he tells you how much he loves you
He’s so hyped up to do anything with you
He’s definitely the type to enjoy running errands with you because he pretends that you’re married already and that these errands are just married couple tingz
He loves to embarrass you in public
Yall will be at a store while you’re just looking at clothes and trying to find some new outfits before he starts yelling as loud as he can so that people from five aisles down can hear him
“OH MY GOD YOU CAN’T STEAL THAT SHIRT BABE, WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU?!?!?!”
You literally walk away and act like you don’t know him for the rest of the day
Nonetheless, he’s so appreciative of you and makes sure you know how much he loves you
The second that you first announced to the team that you were dating, you could’ve sworn you saw tears of joy falling from Kiyoko’s eyes
You keep him grounded and always help bring him out of the dark places his mind goes to when he messes up during games
Hearing you tell him how good of a libero he is and how amazing he is always snaps him out of things. He’d be a wreck without you
Daichi Sawamura:
The most caring boyfriend ever literally what the fuck-
He worries about your well-being all the time and isn’t afraid to show how much he cares about you no matter where you guys are
Sure, he’ll scold you for being clumsy and tripping in the gym, but also?
“Why the hell did they wax the floors before we started practicing? We’re just gonna dirty them again anyways?”
He’s such a passionate lover
“Hey, you look like you’ve got a lot on your mind. What can I do to fix that?”
SO MATURE IN A RELATIONSHIP.
He’s so good with communicating his feelings to you and wants you to know whatever’s going on with him and reassure you no matter what
Absolutely adores pressing kisses to your temples. He loves how you just stare into his eyes with the biggest smile ever and can see your pupils shift into hearts every time he does it
The two of you just make so much sense being together? Match made in heaven type of shit
His very older brother/dad morals have rubbed off on you and now you’re yelling at the boys the same way that he does. 
He always whispers to Suga or Asahi about how proud he is of you while watching you scold someone for being immature 
Asahi Azumane:
The literal definition of Cottage Core
When you hung out with him at his house for the first time, he had so many succulents and well-cared for plants
He’s so soft, he just loves you so much
He loves when you give him scalp massages after taking his bun down
Whenever you go to his house after practice, he’ll shower and have you wash his hair for him because he can’t relieve the tension he feels on his head like you do
He writes you love letters and leaves them in such random places for you to find
“Hey honey, did you leave a letter in my bento box? When I opened it, it had a little bit of curry sauce on it.”
He just blushes and giggles slightly, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.
Loves to call you the cringiest/cutest pet names ever.
Honey pie, sweetums, sugar plum…
You giggle every time he says it out loud because his teammates can’t help but make fun of him whenever they hear it
They’re so cringe coming out of anyone else’s mouth. Not his though <3
Sugawara Koushi:
You will never ever catch Suga smelling bad.
Even after practice, you can’t smell that musty stench of sweat on him because it’s masked by all the deodorant he puts on.
MOST DEFINITELY smells like a bath and body works scent. It changes depending on the season and he loves smelling good according to the season
“Suga, is that… champagne toast?”
You bet your sweet ass it is.
Suga gives the most heartfelt and warm hugs in the world, it’s like hugging a warm blanket.
He’s so loving and it shows in all of his words and actions.
“Aww darling, let me wipe your nose. I told you it was going to be cold and to wear a thicker sweater when we talked on the phone this morning,”
When he says stuff like that his face is literally just >:(
His kisses are so soft. He loves to kiss your nose because of the way it scrunches up after his lips leave
“Do you not like my kisses?” Smooch. “Is that what you’re trying to tell me?” Mwuah. “I won’t stop until you accept my kisses.”
You just keep scrunching it because you love when he kisses you. He knows that, he just loves to make it a little fake argument between you two <3
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loveswrites · 7 months
Text
Rainy Road Part 3 Poly! Cullens X reader
Rainy Road Part 3 (Final part) Poly! Cullens X reader
Word Count: 2644
Time it Took me: A long time ngl
To My Love's: Here you guys go! I know you've waited so long for the last part of Rainy road. Some of y'all are gonna be real mad at me but the last part (paragraph) of this is kinda what went on with this part of rainy road. I was trying to make it something it's not. I hope you guys like it! Tell me how you felt! Y'all know I don't do these but TW!!
Love <3
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Whatever trash that was on the radio played in the background as you drove away from Seth’s house. You’d like to say that you had a good time but the longer that you sat there and tried to pretend that you were having a good time the more it hurt. You couldn’t take it anymore. So you weren’t going to. Focusing your eyes through the rain on the windshield you finally saw the sign “Leaving Forks”.
 Letting out a breath of air you felt relaxed. Free. For the first time in months you felt some peace. Laughing to yourself you rolled down all the windows not caring that the rain was pouring into the car. This made you happy. This brung joy to you. For the first time in a long time you didn’t see the rain as some tragic reminder of the Cullens leaving you to fend for yourself. You saw it as a way for you to cleanse yourself of this pain. For good. It felt a sign from the universe as your favorite song started playing on the radio. 
“This couldn’t get any better!” You laughed to yourself as you started to sing along to the song. Letting the music take you away you felt the rhythm in your body flow freely. Feeling your phone buzz you looked down ‘Unknown’ It read. Rolling your eyes you let it go to voicemail. This was the fifth time they’ve called. Turning your phone off you did your best to not let this ruin your wonderful mood you were in. 
Thirty minutes passed and you had made it. The waterfall. You loved it here but you would never get too close to the edge because you thought that somehow you’d fall off. I guess you always knew you would fall off in a way. No matter the tight grip on your- one of the Cullens would have on you you always feared the outcome. But not today. 
Shivering as water sprayed on you from the waterfall and the rain you couldn’t help but feel cold. It made it all feel surreal. Walking closer to the edge you felt a surge of adrenaline run through your veins. Jasper had shown you this place. Out of all the waterfalls the Cullens had shown you, This one was your favorite. Maybe because of the way you found it or the memories that you made here. Either way you were happiest here. Reaching the edge you looked down all you saw were rocks and water and.. A small rainbow at the end. Letting out a final sigh you closed your eyes. ‘Finally some peace.’ You thought.  You wouldn't have to feel the void the Cullens had created in you. You wouldn’t have to wallow in your pain anymore. You wouldn't have to do anything. But let go.  
Leaning forward you let yourself fall. The wind that swept across your face made you smile. No longer will you be the girl who loved you dearly. 
Feeling yourself jerk back you snapped your eyes open, stumbling you fell. “What the hell?!” You yelled out with so much anger. Looking up to see who or what the cause of this was you froze.
“Jasper?” You breathed out.
“Why are you trying to kill yourself?” Jasper questioned as venom filled his eyes. He looked like shit. His clothes didn’t match at all. It was like he just threw on whatever was laying on his floor and put it on and called it a day. His eyes were gloomy like a big gray cloud was covering them. His hair was all over the place, it looked like he hadn’t brushed his curls in weeks.
“WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL YOURSELF!” Jasper yelled, making you jump. Jasper had never yelled at you. Looking at him.. He didn’t look human. 
“Why do you care?” You rolled your eyes picking yourself up from the wet hard rocks.
“I care because I love you!” He yelled.
“No you don’t you don’t love me none of you do because if you did you wouldn’t have left me! You wouldn’t have left me to rot in my own hell that you created for me! The hell that you left me in! The pain you caused!” You screamed at him.
“You're going home.” Jasper said sternly.
“I’m not going anywhere besides hell, Oh wait I’m already there!” You yelled walking back to the edge of the cliff. 
“Do you really wanna kill yourself?” Jasper whispered, making you pause in  your tracks. 
“I want to not feel the way I do now ever again.” You whispered looking down at the water hitting the rocks at the bottom. Letting out a sigh you felt the best you have in a while. Your eyes grew heavy. So heavy you couldn’t keep them open any longer. So you didn’t.
Hearing whispers you tried focusing on them. 
“She hates me.” You heard from far away but at the same time very close.
“No she doesn't, she is just going through a hard time. We all are.” Who is that?
“You don’t know the way she looked at me Alice, She hates me” Alice? She's here?
“We broke her heart. What did you expect? Her to accept us with open arms?” A different voice sounded.
“Yes. That's exactly what I expected.” Another responded. 
What's going on? I can't open my eyes? It hurts. This hurts. Everything hurts. Wait. Where am I? Why am I not dead? That question hurt more than anything else. Why can't they let me go?
Let me go, I try to say.
 Nothing comes out.
Let me go! Please! Let Me go! I scream and I claw at my throat until sounds come out of my mouth. Tears roll down my cheek. Tears of sadness or confusion? Another emotion I can't seem to explain but what's new?
"Let me go! Let me go! Let me go!" I scream repeatedly once I find my voice. Once I found it I didn't let it go until I was hoarse. My eyes snapped open hurting them as they were dry but wet with tears? How can that be? The burning in my eyes only proved to me how real the scene in front of me was. 
There stood the very ones who brung this pain upon me in the first place. The Cullens. Every single one of them. They looked terrified. Like they didn't know what was the cause of this. Even Carlisle even though he  looked like he hadn't rested in a thousand years. He looked at me like I was something he didn't know how to fix. Pity. "I'm not yours to fix!" I scream and scream in anger. Eyes strictly on Carlisle. You could see him break a little bit more each time. I felt a small Crack. 
Rosalie held onto Emmetts arm and she looked.. Scared. That's a first. She said she loved her human life. I didn't. She ruined that for me. "Sad pathetic human life!" I yell and yell, staring her down as tears continue to roll down my face. She slowly let go of Emmett's arm. She looked back at me like I was a monster. How can I be a monster?! Rosalie shook her head in disbelief as she stormed out of the room. Another crack? 
A monster wasn't born. They were made.
Looking towards Emmett the wanna be big bad wolf. "You're weak. You're useless. You're powerless. You're nothing!" I scream and scream. I reach for anything to throw. That anything just happened to be a lamp. A very expensive one. My favorite one. It hit Emmett's chest and Shattered. Just like my love for him. Them. He didn’t try to dodge it. I knew he could've. They could've stopped it from happening but they didn't. They didn't do anything. They didn't do anything. Another Crack? What is this?
Turning to Jasper he looked like he was concentrating. Like he was trying so hard to fix something that shouldn't be broken in the first place.
Muffled to my ears I hear Edward's voice say "That won't work Jasper, She's breaking it.." Breaking it? Breaking them like they broke me? If that's how you word it, yes. 
With those words it looked like Jasper was finally coming to realize what was happening. "Please stop. Don't do this, you can't fix it if you keep going. Please, I love you." Jasper pleaded with a panicked look on his face. He took a step closer but Alive stopped him. "Please let me go." He begged Alice to which she looked at Edward who just slowly shook his head. 
"Let me go.. Let me go sound familiar doesn't it. Doesn't it!? You Jasper, You're nothing but an addict that will never recover. Itching and  Aching for just one drop of blood. Your miserable existence is an abomination." I repeat over and over so much that I find it funny. Laughing I couldn't help myself but to add another thing. "Blood.. There's no AA meetings for that one Jasper." He looked like he could die right then and there. He looked sadly at Alice as if to say I told you so. Crack. I gasp softly grabbing my chest but as soon as I acknowledge it goes away just as quickly as it came. 
Turning my attention to Esme I couldn't help but frown my face up in disgust. She was kneeling in front of Carlisle who was now sitting on the floor tapping at his chest. What, it hurts? So sad. You hurt me first. Esme took her eyes away from Carlisle and turned them to me. "I understand that you're upset but you can't break our bond, That will practically kill us. Please sto-" I cut her off. Who wants to listen to begging when you've been begging for them to come back for months now? I'm sick of it. 
"Toy. I was a Toy right? That's what you said. You know if a toy is  Delivered to a child in perfect condition and the child breaks it, the child has no one to blame but themselves. Because that toy did nothing to deserve the abuse the child yield upon it. But who cared right? It's just a toy! It's just a toy! Toys are made to be used and thrown away like trash because who cares it's not me- Oh wait it was me! I was the toy!" 
"Please stop, you can't undo it." Esme pleaded as her voice broke mid sentence.
"I trusted you. We made promises to each other! 'I'll hold your heart in my hand and I won't crush yours if you don't crush mine.' I won't crush yours.. I always keep my promises. So Consider your heart crushed." Esme visibly flinched with my last sentence. Crack.. 
Tearing my eyes away from Esme's shaking figure I locked eyes with Edward. The one who drove me to this heartache. It's only right if he was the last one to break. Getting out of the bed I was in with shaky legs I walked towards my final destination.
Coward.
"You know what you're doing, I've told you about it. And I've told you what will happen if you break us all.. Please rethink your decision.." Edward begged as his eyes followed  me as I walked up to him. 
Liar.
"We can still fix it but we won't be able to if you keep going. No matter if we want to fix it later in the future we can't. It won't be the same.. I know you still love us. Don't do this. I love you, I always have and always will. We left to prot-" You cut off Edward's attempts to save himself with one word. What was he afraid of most? Why was he afraid to show his true colors? It's all simply because he is a-
"Monster."
Edward's face dropped. You dug into your memories but not too deep as it always lingered on the surface. He was always scared you'd see him for who he truly is. A monster. 
"A soulless monster. You see Edward you were always so worried about your 'soul' you shouldn't worry about something you just don't have. Humans have souls. You're nothing but a cold hollow shell of something that used to be. Just embrace it. You'll never make it out of this hell you've made. It didn't have to be like this. You could've turned the car around that night. You were in full control. So you Edward have no one to blame but yourself. Why don't you go add yourself to your collection of victims you think you've saved." You sneered with venom. Crack.
With those last words a sharp pain felt like it came through your heart six times, And left the same way it came in. You didn't even flinch. It's like you were numb. The best way you could describe it was you were stabbed in your heart front and back six times. A few last tears ran down your check but you weren't crying anymore. You had stopped crying a long time ago. It was like your tears acted as the blood that would've spilled if you had actually been stabbed. 
Edward's faces twisted in pain and soon after behind you you heard the gasp of the rest of the Cullen's. They were feeling all the pain you felt and then some. You couldn't help but feel proud of yourself. It felt like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders and you could breathe again. 
"How could you go through with this?! It will feel like we've died!" Rosalie stormed into the room the best she could, hunched over in pain. The throbbing in her heart was something she never thought she'd  experience. You couldn't help but roll your eyes. They thought they were the only ones who could break hearts and not blink an eye?
"Well die then."
Rosalie's eyes widened at your words. She tried to look into your eyes to see if you were just putting up a front but no. This was all you. Your head was clearer than ever. 
As you looked around the room you searched for your keys but then thought 'I don't want it anymore.' Anything from the Cullen's gets left tonight. Cars.. Feelings.. it's all the same to you.
"Enjoy my gift. It's the closest thing you will ever get to feeling human." 
You spoke dryly.
Walking away from Edward you stepped over Emmett who was curled into a ball on the floor clawing at his chest. "It hurts." He whimpered. Get over it.
With your back turned you felt the eyes of every Cullen on your back. "Please stay." Carlisle whispered. You paused and hope flooded the heart broken vampires. You continue your journey to the front door. On your way you spoke knowing they could all still hear you very clearly.
"Don't call me. Don't come by my house. Don't make it seem like you've died. Just die." I said before I slammed the door shut. And it was never opened again.
Walking down the long driveway of the Cullens house you felt light as a feather. You felt like you were on top of the world and nothing could bring you down. As you walked you came to a realization. You were trying to make a happy ending, you were begging for one. And that's what took so long that's why they never came back. Because there was no happy ending. A love that breaks you like that will never have a happy ending if it's with the same one that took your heart and stomped it out. The only way out is to make a trade. Eye for an eye. Soul for a soul. Heart for a Heart.
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celiastjamesoscar · 7 months
Text
Comfort Holds
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Pairings: Sam Carpenter x fem!reader
Summary: A long day at work leads the best kind of de-stressing at home: Sam holding you.
Warnings: light cussing, mentions of overdoses, extremely soft Sam, Sam and R showering together, not proofread
AN: a real quick one in celebration of me passing my logic exam! I promise I will crank out some longer ones soon!! I also hate how I couldn’t find a good Hozier/Taylor/Lana song to fit this and it’s going to drive me nuts :(
My Masterlist
Word Count: 1.7K
With a soft sigh, you clocked out of work. Today was rough; it seemed like dispatch could not leave you alone, and the calls were the worst. Just today alone, you had four overdoses, which was a new record. On top of that, you also helped deliver a baby, which was a first. You didn’t hate your job, but sometimes you wished for a simple desk job. Something that wasn’t constantly putting stress on your body.
You locked the ambulance before leaving the station and getting into your car. Being an EMT was fun, and you enjoyed it, but just like any job, it had its ups and downs. As you put your key into the ignition, your phone dinged with a message, and your heart fluttered when you read the name.
Sammy Bear 🔪🖤: When will you be home? I miss you.
-Sam
You rolled your eyes with a small smile as you read the text. No matter how often you told her not to, Sam continued to sign her texts. At this point, you were convinced she was doing it to irritate you.
Y/N ❤️: Babe, I have you saved in my contacts. You don’t have to sign your name
You watched as the bubbles appeared and disappeared for several minutes, and you were starting to get worried you had upset Sam when she sent you a picture. The breath in your throat got caught, and your mouth started to water as you admired the jaw-dropping picture your girlfriend had just sent you.
It was a picture of her lying down in bed on her stomach. The angle at which it was taken had a perfect view of her cleavage, especially with the necklace that had your first name initial resting between her breasts.
The picture was effortless but still breathtaking, and you couldn’t believe how you managed to pull that gorgeous woman.
Sammy Bear 🔪🖤: Just answer the damn question.
-Sam
Y/N ❤️: …Not even 5 minutes
As soon as you sent the text, you drove your car and quickly hurried home to Sam. You two have been dating for almost six months, the best six months of your life. It took you several months to break down Sam’s mile-high walls, but after enough late-night conversations and you taking care of Tara while she was at work, Sam slowly allowed herself to be vulnerable with you. Sam didn’t trust easily; hell, sometimes she didn’t even trust herself, but when she was with you, she knew that she could trust you with her heart and her world: Tara.
Once you had won the approval of Tara (a trial that consisted of her forcing you to watch all of her favorite movies and shows), Sam finally opened up her heart to you, and within a week, you two were officially dating.
Within record time, you parked your car outside the Carpenter apartment and hastily approached Sam. When you reached the door to her apartment, you knocked three times and patiently waited for Sam to open up.
“Took you long enough,” the woman in question stated while opening the door. Like in the picture, she only wore a sports bra and leggings, and your mouth began to water as you admired her abs.
“I tried my best to get here quickly,” you retorted while entering your shared apartment. Technically and legally, it was Sam’s apartment, but you were over so much that you two started calling it your ‘shared’ apartment, and you couldn’t be happier.
Once Sam shut the door, you moved to hug her, but she quickly stepped back from you. “Y/N, I love you, but you smell,” Sam defended as she walked into her room, “go take a shower and change, then we can cuddle.”
You grumbled as you followed her and went to your shared dresser. The top two rows were for Sam, and the bottom two were for you, not that the factor in determining who was on top pertained to your sex life at all. No way.
Rummaging through the dresser, you pulled out a pair of shorts along with a baggy t-shirt and a pair of underwear and then carried them into Sam’s bathroom. You turned on the shower and stripped out of your dirty clothes, and deciding to see if Sam was lying, you smelt your shirt. You hated agreeing with your girlfriend, but it didn't smell good.
You threw your dirty clothes into the hamper before stepping into the shower. You were in the middle of washing your face when you heard the bathroom door open. “Hello?” You called up, and when your lips moved, you got soap in your mouth.
As your luck would have it, you were frantically trying to get the awful soap taste out of your mouth when Sam violently pulled back the shower curtain.
“Jesus fucking Christ, Sam!” You exclaimed as you touched your heart, “You almost gave me a heart attack.”
Sam gave you a small laugh and racked her eyes over your body. “You look pretty,” she stated when her eyes reached your face, silently laughing at your startled face covered in soap.
“Thank you,” you replied before sticking your face under the water and washing off the soap. By the time it took you to get the soap off, Sam had undressed and stepped into the shower behind you. Her firm, muscular arms embracing you from behind.
“I miss you, baby,” Sam mumbled against your neck as she hugged your back, kissing your neck. “I missed you too,” you replied, leaning against Sam’s hold and relaxing.
Sam hummed against your neck as she held you tighter. You were her home, and she only ever felt entirely safe in your presence. In time, she planned to make a wife out of you, but only if you wanted her. Sam would move Heaven and Hell for you; she would fist-fight God himself for you, but she would never do something you weren’t okay with. So, if you were crazy enough to grant her your hand in marriage, Sam’s life would be complete.
“How was work?” Sam asked as she let go of her hold on you, grabbed a shampoo bottle, and put some on her hand. “It was rough, to say the least,” you replied with a weak smile, even though Sam couldn’t see it.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Sam asked as she set down the bottle and rubbed the soap together in her hands. “Not really,” you replied while Sam massaged your scalp and applied the soap to your hair. You knew about Sam’s past drug addiction, so you didn’t want to tell her about all the overdoses you encountered today. “But,” you cheerfully stated, “I did help deliver a baby!”
“Oh yeah? Who would trust you with their baby?” Sam teased while she ran her fingers through your hair. You huffed at her words, “A woman who is shooting a child out of her vagina at rocket speed, that’s who.”
Sam laughed at your response and turned you to face her, “You’re a smart-ass, you know that?”
“I know, but I’m your smart-ass,” you said with a smile as Sam gently pushed you backward into the running water of the shower. “Yes, you are,” Sam replied as she began washing the shampoo out of your hair.
It wasn’t rare for Sam to wash your body, as it was her own way of worshiping you. She loved touching your body in more intimate ways than sex, and she also loved that you trusted her enough to allow her to connect with you in such ways. The respect you both had for each other was undeniable, and your love was sacred; no one could ever shake it or ruin it.
For the remainder of the shower, you and Sam took turns washing each other’s body. And when it was time to get out, you both dressed in clean clothes and brushed your teeth. It wasn’t much, but you would kill for these domestic moments with Sam.
“Come here,” Sam said as she climbed into her bed and opened her arms to you. You smiled at her as you turned off the bathroom and bedroom lights and got into bed next to her.
Within a second, Sam had her arms wrapped around your waist and was pulling you into her chest. You placed your head on her chest as one of her hands left your waist and gently rubbed your back.
“Sam? Can I ask you a question?” You asked after Sam had turned on the lamp next to her bed. “Of course, my love,” she responded as her fingers lightly danced across your back, even though you felt her tense up.
“Can you please try not to snore tonight?” You pleaded with beady eyes as you looked up at her, and you could see her visibly relax. “Y/N, I don’t know how many times I have to tell you this, but I do not snore,” Sam declared with a hurtful look in her eyes.
“Oh come on, you big baby,” you jolly teased as you propped yourself up on the bed with your elbow and looked at Sam’s big, brown eyes, “You snore, and you know it.”
“Nuh-uh.”
“Yes, you do! I even recorded you, Sam!”
“That’s a fake video,” she defended, “Why do you hate me?”
Now, this question was her favorite card to play. No matter what you two argued about, this one never failed her. When Sam played this card mixed in with her puppy dog eyes, she knew you were a goner.
“Sam,” you whispered as a hurt look quickly replaced your teasing, “You know I love you.”
“Then why do you insist I snore when I do not?” Sam questioned as you unpropped your elbow and laid back on her chest, listening to her comforting heartbeat.
“Because I love teasing you, Sam. And because your snoring is awful, you should seriously get it checked out,” you responded sarcastically. “Haha, you’re so funny,” Sam dryly replied but hugged you tighter, telling you she was joking.
The two of you talked about your day for several more minutes before you yawned, and Sam reached over to turn off the bedside lamp. You were still lying on her chest as sleep slowly took over your body whenever you heard the faintest whisper, “Delete that video of me snoring.”
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Taglist: @elduster @silentwolfsstuff
I stole the text messaging part from the great @maskthedwarf <3
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targaryenluvs · 5 months
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— HUNGER GAMES
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a/n: look at my cute lil smiley fin 😭 god i love hunger games so much you don’t understand it’s my comfort movies and finn is my comfort character ❤️
RED MARKED STORIES HAVE DARK THEMES. READ WARNINGS PLEASE.
FINNICK ODAIR
— want and desire (req) dark themes
— summary: you’d thought you’d escaped the capitol, and to some extent, him, the ever so sweet and charming finnick odair. but apparently your fate had been signed, as it seemed you couldn’t get away from him, no matter how hard you tried.
— spring cleaning (blurb req)
— summary: finnick finally decides to clean out the garage with your help after you asking him forever.
— victors spoils
— summary: a victor should be celebrated! a victor should get what ever they wish, even if it’s a sweet capitol girl who misplaced her kindness in someone who was in desperate need of reprieve and distraction.
— lonely waters
— summary: even if you resided in the fishing district you only ever got close to the water for swimming late at night. it was your favourite time of the day, but it leaves you open and vulnerable to predators and people, the water won’t save you.. silly girl, don’t you remember? finnick odairs a champion swimmer.
— my people ft annie cresta
— summary: you’d been hired to help keep annie’s home clean and to keep her company. what you didn’t expect was to fall in love with her. and to find out that she was with finnick, and annie doesn’t want to let either of you go. but you’ve found your people, and you couldn’t be happier.
— miss officer
— summary: you’re tasked with training finnick odair for war and to fight in the captiol. only problem? he’s completely enamoured with you.
— breakups and makeups
— summary: you and finnick used to date, but it took a nasty turn when you heard rumours of his dalliances. but now the two of you reunite apart of the same alliance. will you make up or break up? again?
— damage control & lifeline (anon blurb)
— summary: finnick and his mentor getting into a fake relationship for damage control after peeta and katniss’ stunt at the 74th games + finnick saving his stylist from execution by proposing marriage.
— unrequited (anon blurb, implied smut)
— summary: you’d divulged one to many secrets to your favourite victor and he wasn’t afraid of using them against you. karmas a bitch!
— oh baby! (smut)
— summary: finnick found you to be as cute as ever. but you aren’t exactly the smartest in the room according to him. luckily, finnicks more than happy to help his sweet baby succeed, and he will not let you forget him.
— capitol girl (req blurb)
— summary: finnick loves his favourite victor.
— love you best part two (req, smut)
— summary: your boyfriend doesn’t exactly like you around other men without him.
CORIOLANUS SNOW
— trapped
— summary: after the 10th hunger games, coriolanus set his sights on a girl from his younger years to be his wife. disgusted by his actions and scared by the rumours your family agreed. as you realise he wasn’t the same boy from before, snow finds himself intrigued, especially when you seem to be visiting a friends house too often.
— delicate*
— summary: coriolanus had to marry. lucky for him one of the most eligible girls of the capitol was up for grabs. only problem? he hoped his cold exterior would keep her away but nothing broke her sweet spirit. what happens when he finds himself being drawn to her light? and how far was he willing to go to keep it untainted and all to himself?
— ravage delicate pt 2
— summary: he’d won the election, much to your elation. now you’d have to navigate the fame, fortune and status as the first lady of panem. but coriolanus just wanted you all to himself, and he’d do anything to scare you into his arms.
— safe and sound ft lucy gray baird
— summary: somehow you’d ended up in the games, snow and lucy would do anything to keep you safe.
— worth it
summary: coriolanus made the mistake of protecting lucy gray during the bombing, rather than you.
— runaway
summary: you’d always considered coriolanus to be a friend of yours. family even. but after sejanus’s death you find him to be off. he’s keeping something from your family and you’ve run out of time to get as far away as you can.
— our little dove ft lucy gray baird
— summary: you reunite with your dear songbird after the games, but it seems the capitol has followed her home, and taken an interest in the two of you.
— our little dove alt ending
— summary: you reunite with your dear songbird after the games, but it seems the capitol has followed her home, and taken an interest in the two of you.
— late to the party
— summary: after corio was sent away to district 12, your managed to come to terms with the fact that he did not love you by any means. but what happens when he realises he liked that affection? and what happens when you’re already in a relationship?
— brown jewel (req)
— summary: he was a lifeline and you’d grabbed on in hopes to avoid the reaping, but you were coriolanus’ obsession and he was not going to let you go.
— temper tantrum (req)
— summary: you were the daughter of one of the richest couples of panem. everything you’ve ever wanted, handed to you. coriolanus had a short temper and you were stubborn. who knows what could happen?
— mr president (req)
— summary: mr president seems to be especially enamoured with his favourite maid, you.
— all grown up (smut)
— summary: you were always tigris's annoying rich friend to coriolanus, but once he returns from 12 you seem to be irresistible, not only to him.
— charity (req)
— summary: president snow was praised for his love and devotion to his wife, a cripple. if only they knew how you’d ended up that way.
— love you best (req, smut, read as coryo or finnick)
— summary: your boyfriend doesn’t like you around other men without him.
PEETA MELLARK
— sweet like sugar (blurb req)
— summary: peeta teaches you how to bake since you’re nowhere near as good as you thought, not that you’d admit it.
—paranoia (dark req)
— summary: peeta tries to reintegrate into society in district 13 and get over his fear of you being taken from him. no one noticed just how badly the capitol messed him up until he lashes out.
SEJANUS PLINTH
— coming soon!
LUCY GRAY BAIRD
— safe and sound ft coriolanus snow
— summary: somehow you’d ended up in the games, snow and lucy would do anything to keep you safe.
— destined
— summary: you and lucy enjoy time together at the lake.
—our little dove ft coriolanus snow
— summary: you reunite with your dear songbird after the games, but it seems the capitol has followed her home, and taken an interest in the two of you.
— our little dove alt ending
— summary: you reunite with your dear songbird after the games, but it seems the capitol has followed her home, and taken an interest in the two of you.
KATNISS EVERDEEN
— coming soon!
JOHANNA MASON
— underestimate (blurb req)
— summary: johanna learns not to underestimate you.
ANNIE CRESTA
— my people ft finnick odair
— summary: you’d been hired to help keep annie’s home clean and to keep her company. what you didn’t expect was to fall in love with her. and to find out that she was with finnick, and annie doesn’t want to let either of you go. but you’ve found your people, and you couldn’t be happier.
TRIBUTE!READER
— coming soon!
(in general, no ship just the reader in the arena, with katniss n peeta etc)
1K notes · View notes
unseededtoast · 2 months
Text
Thin Air | Spencer Reid x F! Reader
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Summary: In which you realize how much you lost when you accepted a new job, and that you may be destined to only share fleeting moments with the one who has your heart.
Also cross-posted on Wattpad and AO3. Link to my masterlist for everything else I’ve posted
wc: 6.6k
"Spencer, please." You beg through your moans.
"Be patient, baby."
Five years ago
The door slams shut behind you as your coat gets taken off and discarded somewhere in the apartment. Your senses are a blur, the only thing you can bother to concentrate on is exploring every inch of Spencer.
His lips connect with yours sloppily, a heated exchange that you've waited for since the day you started working at the BAU.
His lithe fingers unbutton your shirt with ease as you tangle your fingers in his hair. You gently tug, eliciting a breathy moan from him; it's music to your ears and you can't get enough.
The two of you stumble through his apartment clumsily, neither of you able to stay apart from the other long enough to normally walk to the bedroom. You follow his lead blindly until the back of your legs hit the edge of his bed. Without thinking twice, you lay back, quickly followed by Spencer who is determined to kiss every square inch of your body.
The room is filled with the sounds of breathy moans from the both of you, Spencer's lips on your neck finding your sweet spot. Your eyes flutter shut as your fingers begin undoing his shirt, the two of you are still fully clothed and you're doing your best to rectify that immediately.
You feel Spencer smirk as you unbutton his shirt with trembling fingers and he shrugs it off quickly and makes quick work of your own. Your heated skin melds with his and the closer contact makes your jaw fall slack. You're convinced that if you can't feel all of him soon that you might combust.
"Spencer, please." You beg through your moans as he takes his time working his way down your body. His fingers trace every curve of you, as if he's making a detailed mental map of your body. He grabs the soft skin of your hips and tugs your pants off as if it were the easiest thing in the world.
"Shh be patient, baby." He answers, licking his lips before placing sloppy kisses on your thighs. Your fingers find their way back into his wavy hair, and his find the plumpness of your hips and pulls you closer to him.
All coherent thoughts leave your mind as you sink further and further into a bliss-filled oblivion, and all you care about is the man kneeling in front of you.
Your only regret is not acting on your feelings sooner, leaving you with only this one night with him.
-----
Spencer walks into work the next day feeling conflicted and anxious. You hadn't been beside him when he woke up this morning like he expected. Of course, he's trying to tell himself you probably just went home to get ready for work, surely you didn't want to come in wearing yesterday's clothes.
But as the hours tick by without any sign of you, his stomach starts twisting itself in knots. He checks his phone for any message from you just to find an empty lock screen. Trying to ease his nerves he sends you a quick message, asking if you're okay. And he checks his phone compulsively for any notification for the next hour.
After he sends the message he tries his best to casually ask around about if anyone has heard from you today. The others all say no, and they don't seem too concerned, they chalk it up to a hangover from last night. But you didn't have that much to drink. Spencer's mind races with worst-case scenarios but tries to stay calm. Maybe you had ditched work because you didn't want to see him, or maybe something bad happened to you.
His foot taps against the floor at lightning speed as he checks his phone one more time. No response. Something within him is telling him something is wrong. And so he moves without thinking and heads to Hotch's office. The worry must've been obvious on his face as Hotch motions for him to take a seat.
"I assume you're here because she didn't show up today." Hotch guesses correctly, and Spencer nods in confirmation. Hotch grabs a piece of paper off his desk and reads over the words once before handing the letter to Spencer. His eyes quickly read the words in seconds and by the time he's read it four times over his stomach drops.
You weren't coming back to the BAU. And you don't say why.
Spencer hurriedly pushes the paper back into Hotch's hands before excusing himself. He tugs at the collar of his shirt as he rushes to get some fresh air. His mind is spinning for answers, and for the first time in a long time, he cannot find one.
-----
Present Day
You squint your eyes against the sun as you watch the front door of the house you had been tasked to stake out with your partner. Today is the deadline your supervisor had given you, and so far you had no results to show for your month-long surveillance mission. You had a sneaking suspicion the target had figured out he was being tailed and moved locations, but of course, you had nothing to back that up.
"I don't think we're going to see him in the next five minutes." Your partner sighs beside you, checking his watch. Angrily, you chew on the inside of your cheek, frustrated to have no results.
"I know he's gone somewhere else." You eventually say, turning the key to start the car so the two of you can go back and report to your supervisor.
"Yeah I know, I think so too. But we have no way of knowing where. I can't believe how slippery this guy is!" Your partner exclaims in disbelief as you begin driving back to headquarters. You huff,
"There's gotta be something there in his behavior that we just aren't seeing." You say, gripping the steering wheel tight. After all your years at the BAU you're unable to correctly profile the target. It's embarrassing and you've become all too frustrated with yourself.
The rest of the drive goes by in silence, the two of you are too wrapped up in the failure to say anything. And once you reach headquarters, the both of you take your time getting to the office, knowing that your supervisor is waiting for answers that you simply don't have.
But eventually you make your way up there. Your supervisor is waiting with crossed arms and a stern expression on her face. Your partner speaks first, admitting your shortcomings as a team. Your supervisor looks thoroughly annoyed with the results, and you know exactly what you have to do next. You just hope it doesn't come back to bite you.
"We should call in my old team. They're the best of the best, world-class profilers. I guarantee they'll be able to help us out." Your voice is confident, masking the nerves that twist your stomach.
"And you're sure of this?" Your supervisor asks with a cocked eyebrow. Nodding your head, you confirm
"I know they will." You say with finality. With a sigh, your supervisor agrees to contact them.
As you turn and walk away from your supervisor's office, you hope that you didn't just make a mistake. You had up and left your team out of nowhere, for all you know they could resent you for what you did. But, you know there's no better team on this planet than them, and this target needs to be caught before more people are killed.
-----
"Pack your bags everyone, we've been called in by the CIA to assist in one of their cases. We will be briefed on the plane, it'll be a short trip." Hotch announces as everyone gathered around the table. There's a stoic look on his face that tells Spencer the case they've been called to help on is of a serious nature.
Given thirty minutes to prepare, Spencer takes his time and makes a cup of coffee for the trip before collecting his go-bag. He always keep a bag for short trips and a bag for long trips in case something like this springs up. He learned the hard way that being underprepared is a recipe for disaster in the field.
Once the team settles in their usual spots on the plane, Hotch begins briefing everyone on the case.
"We've been called to assist in locating James Barnes, wanted for several counts of murder in five different countries. It seems he's evaded CIA efforts to tail him, they need our help in decoding his behaviors to determine where he's likely to go next. This is a top secret mission, nobody outside of this team and the CIA will know what's going on." Hotch's explanation is short and sweet. The gravity of the mission weighs heavily on Spencer as he usually works on geographic profiles. But he knows that as a team they're likely to succeed.
The trip to the CIA headquarters doesn't take long at all, and before Spencer's finished his cup of coffee, they're unloading from the plane. Somebody will take their belongings to the hotel while they immediately start on the case. Spencer's glad he made this cup of coffee, as he thinks this is bound to be an exhausting case.
He follows Derek into the briefing room they've been ushered into and takes a seat at the table, setting his cup on the sleek glass before taking a seat. And as he settles in he looks to the CIA team in charge of the mission, his eyes landing right on you.
Spencer feels like the world has stopped spinning and the blood in his veins has turned to ice. After years of not knowing where you were, here you stand in front of him alongside some of the most renowned CIA agents.
-----
You've got about fifteen minutes before the team's plane lands but you're not sure your heart will survive that long with the way it's pounding in your chest. You pace around your office to try and work off some anxiety but it doesn't seem to be working.
Nausea creeps in behind the anxiety and your stomach feels like it's been tied into a knot. A part of you thinks you might be having some sort of medical emergency. But you know it's just because you're scared.
You're scared of seeing your old team again, possibly with your replacement. You don't know if they hate you, if they think you're dead, or anything else they may have presumed from your absence. It's the not knowing that's driving you up the wall. But fifteen minutes comes and goes and before you're prepared, you're walking to the conference room.
Your partner and supervisor are already there, waiting for the team when you walk in. You take a seat next to your partner and straighten your clothes, wanting to look your best and not as disheveled as you feel.
"So you really have that much faith in these guys?" Your partner asks, snapping you out of your trance. You blink a few times, processing what he's said until you find an answer.
"I do." Short, simple, and not at all good at masking your nerves. You hear several footsteps coming down the hall and know the time has come.
Hotch is the first to walk in, followed closely by Emily, JJ, Penelope, Derek, and then Spencer. The sight of him alone is enough to send you spiraling. Your lungs burn for oxygen and your eyes beg you to blink but all you can focus on is the tall man who you've never fallen out of love with. 
You watch as he takes a seat and situates himself next to Derek. And then, after he sets his coffee down, his eyes scan the room. And then they land on you.
It's as if the air has been forcefully sucked from your body, like you had just been kicked in the chest. For a brief moment it sounds like you're underwater and the edges of your vision make it seem like you're in a tunnel.
But thankfully the sound of your supervisor speaking breaks his gaze from you. You bite down hard on the skin inside your cheek, begging yourself to stay seated and composed. You're keenly aware by now that every single one of your old teammates is staring you down like they've just seen a ghost. And in a way they have, you were supposed to disappear without a trace, yet here you sit.
Your supervisor introduces the team to you and you to the team, as if you were all complete strangers. A pit in your stomach tells you that this is going to be the most complicated case you've ever worked, and a voice in the back of your mind wonders if calling the BAU was a mistake after all.
But deep down you know that it doesn't matter in the end. After all, you're going to vanish from them once again when they return home. It's the design of the job. A heartbreaking, but effective, design. One that you almost regret signing up for.
-----
After your supervisor has introduced the BAU to the case, Hotch is given permission to split up the team into their most effective specialties. Emily and JJ are tasked to stay with your partner and assist him with his leads, Penelope is assigned to work her magic with the computer, which leaves you to be assigned with Derek and Spencer. 
Hotch had to have done this on purpose. But he doesn't stick around long to watch the fallout of his decision. Instead, he follows your supervisor out of the room, leaving you alone with Derek and Spencer. 
The room is full of tension, one that weighs heavily on you. It's difficult for you to even look at them, much less assist them in the investigation. Why wouldn't Hotch have assigned Emily and JJ to stay with you? That surely would've worked out a lot better for everyone. But perhaps this is your bad karma catching up to you for what you did to them. 
Swallowing your pride, you decide you can no longer ignore their presence. You lift your eyes from the floor and look at Derek first, not having it within you to look at Spencer. Derek looks back with an intense gaze, one that you're not sure is welcoming. 
"So this is where you've been?" He questions, looking around the briefing room. You nod your head, 
"Yeah, I've been here, working this mission." You tell him the truth. He hums in response, leaving the room to fall back into an uncomfortable silence. 
But you can only take it for so long. Eventually, you break the silence and decide to just give them work to do and hopefully that takes up everyone's time and attention. You put a map up on a board, one that you had already been working on and you explain the markings. The suspect's theorized hiding spots, where his associates live, and where he was most recently spotted until he was lost. 
Both Spencer and Derek study the map while you step to the back of the room. A part of you hopes their fresh perspective is enough to crack the case in a day. At least that way you could disappear once more and never have to face their judgmental looks again. 
However, as you stand behind them, you can't help but to miss your BAU days. There were several cases where the three of you worked alongside one another just like this. Back when you were head over heels for Spencer, but kept it a secret. You miss those days, the ones you thought were inconsequential and boring, and you realize that you took it all for granted. 
At the BAU you had friends who cared about you, and you for them. You had a team of the most supportive people on this Earth. And you threw it all to the side when the CIA offered you a position. You had been starstruck by being recruited that you failed to see what you truly had to give up before it was too late. Sure, you got paid more and got to work on higher profile cases, but these people here don't care about you like the BAU does. No, the people here chase their own accolades and couldn't care less about anyone else but themselves. 
And perhaps, in a way, you had become that selfish as well. After all, you had only acted on your feelings for Spencer once you knew you had secured the job. You wanted to experience him before you left, and you didn't once regard his feelings about the situation. It was entirely selfish, and something you had come to deeply regret. If you could turn back time, you know you either would have acted on your feelings sooner, or not have said anything at all. Either of those outcomes would have been better than what you did to him. 
-----
Hours later you find yourself in the break room for a snack. Having the BAU here meant that your regular hours had been thrown out the window, and while they're here working, you're here working as well. They have not been given permission to work this case unsupervised. And one thing you know for certain about your old team is that they work tirelessly until they find an answer. 
The harsh light from the fridge burns your dry eyes, but the sound of approaching footsteps forces you to choose something. You land on an apple that had been in there for a few days, you figure it's good enough. The footsteps enter the room and you see Penelope walking in, looking like she's ready to sleep for the next three weeks straight. 
She sees you and gives a polite smile, which makes your heart sink. Usually you and Penelope went on and on about anything and everything under the sun. She must have felt burned by your abrupt exit from the team as well. And you can't blame her, if the roles were reversed you know you'd feel at least a little bitter. But you can't stand the coldness from her, it makes you want to repair the relationships that were damaged. And so before you can even think things through, you speak up. 
"I am sorry, I hope you know that. I wasn't allowed to tell anyone where I was going." Your voice is hoarse from working long hours. Penelope stops in her tracks and looks over to you, a softness in her eyes. 
"I looked for you everywhere and I couldn't find you. I thought something had happened. I never stopped looking." She says, her voice breaking which causes your heart to feel like it's been shredded into a million little pieces. 
"I can't tell you how sorry I am to have done this to you and the team. Trust me, if I could go back and do things differently, I would. But I'm glad you all are here now." You say, telling her the truth. You are glad they're here, and you figure this might be your last chance to patch things up with your old team. 
"I'm glad we came too. At least we know now that you're okay." She says and picks up a granola bar. You can tell from the way she moves to the door that she doesn't want to talk much, and so you let her go. 
It must be a lot for them to process, and you try to give them some space to process their feelings about everything. And before you leave for the night, you promise yourself that you're going to apologize to every single person. Whether they accept it or not isn't in your control, but you know you have to extend your sorrows, so that they know you regret how you left them.
-----
The next few days go by uneventfully. You met the team here and Derek and Spencer worked together, leaving you out of most of their conversations. Of course, you still listened in, you just weren't treated as an active participant, even though this is technically your mission. However, you can't find it within yourself to protest much. 
The BAU had come up with some interesting developments, and you know you likely only have two more days at most with them. You're not sure whether you want time to speed up or slow down. As they talk about another theory, you find yourself looking at Spencer and remembering how good things between the two of you had been. 
You and Spencer had bonded relatively quickly when you first started at the BAU. The two of you were the newest on the team, and everything felt seamless with him. Both of you shared an affinity for learning, and there were many times you'd drive the rest of the team crazy by talking nonstop on the flight. And of course, over the years you had formed quite the crush on Spencer. For years you kept it to yourself, up until the night before you were scheduled to leave. 
But here he is now, right in front of you after all these years. He's just as tall as you remember, but he's filled out some, and his hair is longer now too. You admire the way it curls around the nape of his neck and appreciate the veins in his hands as he points to a spot on the map. His shirt sleeves have been pushed to his elbows, and you cannot deny how good he looks. 
Derek breaks you out of your trance of admiration as he tells Spencer his coffee order. Neither of them ask for yours, and so you let Spencer leave without saying a word, leaving just you and Derek alone. 
Derek had also been a close friend, and you know he always took things to heart. You can't imagine how badly you had hurt him by vanishing. He sits at the table, and leans back in his seat to stretch. Running a hand over your face, you know your time has come to finally talk to him. And so like Penelope, you start off with an apology. 
"I hope you know I never meant to hurt you all by leaving. They wouldn't let me tell anyone." You offer, trying to minimize the damage, though you know there's nothing you can say that will truly make it all better. Derek looks over to you with an unreadable expression. 
"We didn't know what happened. You just left a letter and disappeared." You hear a tinge of anger in his voice. 
"I know. And I am sorry, I really am. I love all of you, and I'm sorry that I've caused so much pain." You tell him from the bottom of your heart. Derek looks away and sighs, opening and closing his mouth a few times before deciding what he wants to say.
"We're glad that you're okay, all of us were worried about you, and we couldn't find you. You should've seen Spencer, I've never seen him so upset before. But, I understand why you did it." He says, finally looking back over to you, meeting your eyes. 
"Thank you for understanding." You say, thankful that at least one of them has at least a hint of forgiveness for you. 
"And you know, if you ever get tired of this CIA thing, we're always here for you. Might have to convince Hotch you're not a flight risk though." He cracks a smile.
"Yeah, I wish I could come back. I was young and dumb and naive when I took this offer. Got caught up in the name and the secrecy of it all, I didn't know what I had right in front of me." You tell him, wanting to get some of your regrets off your chest. He shrugs, 
"It's not a bad gig, they chose one of the best to recruit, I'll give them that." He says as the door opens and Spencer returns with the coffees. 
Spencer ignores you, and the two of them pick up where they left off. And they work and work until they finally come to a consensus. They believe they know where the suspect is. 
The entire team is reconvened back into the briefing room, and you're sat next to your partner, trying to avoid looking directly at anyone. You still have a lot of apologies to make, and so little time to do it. They had solved this quicker than you thought, and your heart races as you realize you may not be able to extend amends to the rest of the team in time. 
Hotch delivers the profile and findings, and soon, a tactical team is sent out to retrieve the suspect. You and the rest of the BAU stay behind and watch the situation from the control room. Your heart thumps in your chest as you watch the agents break down the front door. Gunfire is exchanged and you grip the edge of the desk as you watch with wide eyes, worried about those on the front line. 
But soon enough, they've got the suspect in cuffs and walk him out of the home. A sound of celebration fills the room, and you stare at the screen with a slack jaw, watching the subject you tried to track tirelessly being shoved into an armored car. Someone claps you on the back and makes you look away from the screen. Your partner smiles widely and holds his arms out for a celebratory hug. 
He picks you up and spins you around before he puts you back on the ground. You smile at him as the two of you celebrate this win. After all, you two had been partnered together for a while now, and you don't know if you'll continue working with him as this mission moves into its next phase. As you turn back to watch the screen, you see Spencer leaving the room. Your smile falters and you debate whether or not you should follow him. But before you can even make a decision, Derek steps into your line of vision. 
"Come out with us tonight, one last time." He smirks, and you're taken aback by the invitation. You figured the others would still be too angry with you to even want you there, but by the subtle hint of a smirk on Hotch's face, you begin to think that maybe they're not as angry as you think.
"Yeah, I'll be there." You smile, excited to spend one last night with your team.
-----
Hours later you find yourself in a crowded bar with your old team. You've elected to take a seat beside Derek, seeing as he's been the most forgiving. Penelope sits across from you, leaving one empty seat beside you. You can still feel some tension from them, but they seem to have loosened up a little. 
The first round of drinks come and you start jumping into conversations here and there, and thankfully, nobody seems to mind. It almost feels like you never left, and this is just another night out after a win. However, there's one person missing that would make this night complete. But, he probably didn't want to come after finding out you were going to be here, and you don't blame him. It does make your heart sink a little though. 
Round one turns to round two and three quickly, and you start feeling the effects of just a little too much tequila. While some of the others wander away for a bit, you scoot closer to JJ and Emily, taking this as your time to offer them amends. You get their attention and clear your throat, trying to put your words together in a coherent sentence. 
"Before you all go, I just wanted to say how sorry I am for what I did. I miss you all more than you know, but I'm glad I got to see you again." The liquor makes your emotions feel like they're amplified, and you feel the burning of tears in your lower lash line. Emily and JJ both give you a sympathetic smile.
"We know, better than anyone here, how the CIA operates. We understand." Emily speaks for the both of them, and JJ agrees with her. Unable to keep yourself together, you envelope the two of them in a hug, knowing you're going to grieve the loss of them all over again in the morning. 
After you let them go, you take a few steps backward, but run into someone. 
"I am so sor-" Your words get caught in your throat as you look up and meet familiar hazel eyes. Spencer towers over you, his hand on your elbow to keep you from falling. 
You don't know if it's your imagination, the liquor, or if it's real, the way he looks into your eyes. If you didn't know any better, you'd think he misses you too. But you know that surely can't be the case considering how you left him. He releases the grip he's got on your elbow and clears his throat. 
"It's okay." He says, offering a flat-lined smile that seems to adorn his face quite often. And in that moment, it's almost like the rest of the bar disappears, that it's only the two of you in this room. You've got tunnel vision, only being able to focus on Spencer. 
Taking in his appearance, he looks a lot better up close than he did across the room. You can see all the shades of green in his eyes, the different honey tones in his hair. You can even see the shadow of stubble that decorates his jawline. He looks just like your Spencer, just a little more grown up. Your heartrate increases and you know that if you don't take this opportunity, that you might never get it again. And so, without putting much thought into your words, you go for it. 
"Spencer, can we um, can we go talk somewhere?" You ask, worried that he's going to turn you down. He licks his lips and looks around the bar and for a moment you truly think he's going to reject your offer. 
"Sure." He answers instead and you nod your head in surprise. 
You lead him outside of the bar, where the crisp wind cuts into you, leaving you feeling more breathless. You and Spencer walk a few feet away from the entrance and stop underneath a flickering street lamp. His features are illuminated beautifully in the soft amber glow. Unable to look at him directly as you speak, you stare at the sidewalk underneath your feet as you offer him the apology he deserves. 
"Spencer, I can't even begin to tell you how much I regret what I did to you. It wasn't right, and you didn't deserve to be treated that way." Your voice cracks in the middle of your sentence. When he doesn't answer right away, you lift your gaze from the concrete to look at him, seeing him staring intensely at you, eyebrows furrowed and eyes narrow. 
"I was worried sick about you. I thought you left because of me up until a few days ago." He said and you can hear the anger that lies just beneath his words. 
"I'm sorry." Is all you can say. Though you know it's insufficient, it's the only thing you can think of to say. 
"And I tried to contact you so many times. You have no idea how much I've missed you." His anger turns to sadness, and you see the tip of his nose turn rosy pink, which causes your throat to constrict. 
"They wouldn't let me tell anyone where I was going or when. I didn't know how restrictive this mission would be when I signed up. If I knew, I don't think I could've taken it." You admit to him.
Silence lingers between the two of you for a beat, both of you looking into the other's eyes, searching for the person they knew all those years ago. Searching for the familiarity and the comfort you had become so accustomed to, something that feels so distant and foreign now. 
"But you did, and now you're gone." His voice is barely above a whisper, and you can't deny anything he's said. 
"I know, and I'm sorry." You wipe your nose as you apologize again and shiver from the cold wind. Spencer's eyes look you over from head to toe before he sighs, 
"Come with me." He offers his arm for you to take, which you happily do. You intertwine your arm with his, and walk down the street to wherever he's taking you. 
The walk is silent and short. It's not long before the two of you walk into the hotel lobby, the one where they're staying you assume. It's a nice hotel, just a few blocks away from the bar. Spencer leads you to his room on the fifth floor and lets you into his room. 
His suitcase sits on the foot of the bed, an extra pair of shoes by the door. The door clicks shut behind him and your stomach twists with nerves. Luckily the tequila helps a little with your anxiety, and you watch as Spencer takes off his shoes and moves his suitcase. 
"Come over here." He invites you to sit next to him on the bed. You leave a respectful amount of space between the two of you. You're not sure why he brought you here, but you're happy he did. You've missed him so much, and you clench a hand into a fist to keep from reaching out to him. 
He pushes a strand of hair behind his ear and sighs as he looks you over. Once again it makes your heart pound and your skin grow warm. 
"I just need to know you didn't actually leave because of what we did. If you regret it, that's fine. I just, I need to know." He says with some desperation and you can tell he still blames himself for you leaving the team. You shake your head, 
"No, Spencer. God, no. I've missed you every single day that I've been gone." You tell him, no longer able to keep yourself from reaching out. Your hand lands on his thigh, and he places his over yours and squeezes. 
"Will you ever come back?" He asks, eyes wide and round, pleading. Your chest tightens, your heartstrings feel as if they're snapping. What you wouldn't give to just go back with him. 
"The mission isn't over yet. I don't know when it will be, catching Barnes was only one step." You tell him, violating the terms of your clearance level. He nods, disappointed with your answer. 
"It is the CIA after all, I don't know what I expected." He laughs bitterly, and in that moment you regret taking the job wholeheartedly. 
"Please trust me when I say that when I can return to you, I will. I promise you, Spencer, I will find you again." You fight the tears that threaten to spill, and he raises his hand to wipe one away from the corner of your eye. 
"I believe you." He whispers, and you nod, happy to know that he understands you don't want to go again.
You move your hand from his thigh up to his face, stroking his cheekbone with your thumb. He leans into your touch, as if he'd been craving it since the day you left. His eyes flutter shut as he enjoys the feeling of your skin on his. 
His hand moves across the covers of the bed and lands on your thigh, where his thumb strokes small circles. Spencer's touch is warm and comforting. You move closer to him, so that your legs are touching and there's not but a few inches of space between the two of you. He opens his eyes lazily and blinks a few times, his long, dark lashes complimenting his features well. 
Your heart rate speeds up as his touch on you becomes firmer. You lick your lips and before you can talk yourself out of it, you pull him to you by the collar of his shirt. Your lips meet one another with a soft intensity. He cups your face and holds you close as you hang onto his shirt. 
It's only when your lungs start burning do you pull away from each other. Lips glistening and swollen, everything seems to happen at once. Spencer pulls you into his lap, where his lips connect with your jaw, your head thrown back in pleasure. Your fingers tangle in his hair as his travels lower, planting kisses on your neck. 
With a gentle touch, he lays you back on the bed where he runs his hands alongside your body, feeling every curve. You feel your face flush and mouth fall open as he tightly grips the soft skin of your hips. It's like he's a starved man and you're the oasis in the middle of a desert. 
You pull him back to your face and connect your lips with his once more, not wanting to rush things, not this time. You savor the way he tastes and the way he caresses your body. 
Your hands eventually run down his chest where they undo the buttons of his shirt, and he's quick to return the favor. His fingers undo the buttons of yours, but he seems to slow down and take his time. And once there's nothing between the two of you, he stares in awe, like you're a statue carved of marble.
"Spencer, please." You say, not being able to handle not having his hands on your body. He smiles, showing off his perfect teeth.
"Shh, be patient baby. You look so beautiful." He says before kneeling on the floor. 
He kisses your ankle up to your knee, from your knee to your thigh, thigh to collarbone, before planting a passionate kiss on your lips. His hands travel to where you need him the most, and he works slowly but with care. 
You're breathless under his touch and you try to commit to memory the way he feels, for you don't know if you'll ever be afforded this luxury again. 
The two of you treat each other as if you're made of porcelain; gentle with your touches and kisses. You both savor each other's tender touches as you become one, looking into each other's eyes and communicating what you cannot with words. 
You move in tandem with one another, as if you were made for each other. You swallow every moan that escapes his lips, wrapping your legs around him to bring him impossibly closer. In the soft light Spencer looks ethereal and you appreciate his beauty. Your hands cup his face and you know that you will never be able to find a beauty such as him. Everything about Spencer Reid is other-worldly, nothing of this Earth could even begin to compare. No light will ever shine as bright as the ones in his eyes, and no song could ever sound as good as the breathy moans he lets out in your ear. Nothing could ever feel as good as his hands on you, or the way he moves within you. 
Nobody can ever compare to Spencer. 
And as you spend the night with him, limbs tangled with one another's, you know nobody could possibly have your heart like he does. 
But as the sun rises on the horizon, you know your time with him has come to a bitter end. With tears running down your cheeks, you kiss him on the forehead and push a piece of hair away from his face, wanting to see him just one more time. 
As the first bird of the morning begins singing its song, you turn the handle of the door, sparing one last glance to Spencer, who looks ever so peaceful in bed. And only after you've committed the image to memory do you turn away and walk out of the room, vanishing into thin air once more.
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peterparkersnose · 1 year
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hey there, first i would like to thank you for taking my request cause i love your writing so much and it is a special request that I could only read from you, it's a joel miller x fem reader, fluff age gap (ofc not illegal), i find so much comfort in your joel's fics, so, thanks again and wishing you the best. <33
Stargazing
pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader
word count: 3.7k
warnings: age gap, ellie plays matchmaker (common troupe), alcohol consumption, drunk confessions, mutual pining, anxiety and overthinking, this is a heavy dialouge fic, joel being awkward, just general awkwardness but fluff at the end I promise :)
a/n huge shoutout to the person who asked this! i was silly while editing this and accidentally deleted their ask, and they were kind enough to resubmit it for me. also, just a side note almost in every one of my joel fics there is an age gap, I just don't normally specify it but with this one they really deep dive in to it. I'm sorry but I am a younger person, I don't think I could write from the viewpoint of someone close to my parents age.
summary Ellie tries to set Y/N and Joel up on a date
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read time: 13 mins 34 seconds
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It was past closing time in the bar. Maria, Tommy, and Joel sat around the dimly lit bar at the last table. Tommy had assured the bartender that he would close up; Tommy was more than capable to.
“Truth or dare,” the drunk man slurred. All three of them were collectively wasted. Joel sighed, downing another shot. He felt seconds later that he shouldn’t have. “Truth.” Joel spit out. This seemed like the hundredth round of this childish game Maria insisted on playing.
“Who in all of the population here would you want to bang in bed on your last night alive?”
Joel knew the answer immediately. A secret he had been keeping to himself for the few years he has known you. And the secret he had been denying and denying for so long. He knew Tommy was fishing for something. But that last shot began to ring through his system as he spoke. He let out a disappointed sign.
“Y/N.”
Maria snorted, almost falling out of her chair. Tommy looked at Joel with his brows furrowed. “What?” Joel asked in defense. “Joel, ain’t she like 20?”
“22.” he said in defense. There wasn’t much to defend, he was a great much older than you. And Joel was more ashamed than ever. He had known you since you were 19, ever since you helped escort Ellie across the country. It felt gross, it felt wrong. But whenever he thought of you, something just couldn’t resist. Your mannerisms, the way your voice sounded, how you responded to maturely to everything. You were an old soul, one that Joel got along with well. Crossing the platonic line never crossed his mind until he settled down in Jackson.
Joel’s eyes darted to the floor. “Hey, you said anyone!” he argued. Maria could not contain her laughter, almost falling on the floor. “Whatever. You guys suck.” he said, pushing his glass of whiskey that was almost finished off towards Tommy. Joel got up and began to leave. “I shouldn’t have said nothin’.”
“Hey!” Tommy yelled after him, over Maria’s laughing. “Quit it,” he muttered at her, making her laugh even more. “Joel-”
It was too late. He drunkenly made his way down the street and to his house. The light in your bedroom was still on he noticed. Joel wasn’t being a stalker and being weird, but you were his neighbor. What were you doing up so late? Reading something he figured. Or talking with Ellie, the girl really seemed to never shut up. As he was about to turn away, you came to the window. Confused of why Joel was out so late, you opened it. The cool spring breeze entered your room.
Joel seemed to panic, and pretended to have not noticed you at all.
“Miller!” he heard you yell. He stopped in his tracts and turned around. “L/N!” he called back. The repetition of your gesture towards him made you smile.
“What you doing up so late? Don’t you have patrol with me tomorrow morning?”
Joel let out a sigh. His hands rested on his hips. “God, is that tomorrow?” he lied. He totally knew. He was looking forward to it all week. “Yup. 7 sharp. Better get to bed, old man.”
The old man comment definitely hurt his ego. He couldn’t pick up on it, but that was your way of flirting. Teasing almost. But to Joel it just proved to himself that you just wanted to be friends—when you totally wanted the opposite.
“And what are you doing up so late?”
You held up the landline phone in to view. “Ellie,” you sighed. “Get some sleep!” he called, and began to head back to his house. The vision of you in your nightgown was getting too much for him, making him realize he wanted things he never thought he could ever want again. “Goodnight Joel,” you called. He waved, and entered his house.
You flopped down on your bed after you closed your curtains. Holding your pillow over your chest, you squeezed it hard. Your stomach fluttered as you childishly re played the memory of what had just happened. Finally, your bedroom light went out.
-
“Y/N,” Ellie sang, circling into your kitchen. It was your fault for leaving the back door open on such a nice day. It unfortunately tracked in things such as unwanted Ellie’s. It was midday, your patrol with Joel had ended about an hour earlier.
“Yes?” you sang back, sitting on your couch and looking up from your book. “I have news.”
She came and sat down next to you. “And what is this news? Is it important enough to distract me from my book?” you asked. Ellie sensed your pissed off tone.“Bookmark the page. You’ll never guess what I heard.”
“Ellie, if this is gossip—” you sighed, setting the book down next to you. “It’s not gossip when it involves you,”
You sighed and rolled your eyes, praying Maria didn’t share one of your embarrassing stories you confided in her. Everyone knew Maria had a big mouth. You slowly crept forward “What is it?”
“Joel has a crush on you.”
A quick laugh escaped from your lips. Ellie looked at you confused. “I-I’m telling the truth.” Your laughter continued. “I call fucking bullshit. Where did you hear that?” “Dude, Maria straight up told like everybody in the dining hall today.”
Your face scrunched. "What?"
“Your definitely fucking with me Ellie. Not funny.” you laughed.
“No!” Ellie exclaimed. “She got wasted with Joel and Tommy last night and he confessed that he would ‘bang you out of everyone in this town’ according to Maria.”
So that’s what he was doing out so late last night.
The thought of the older man that escorted you and Ellie across country a few years ago having a crush on you was absurd. Wasn’t it?
“Well, I thought you should know because remember what you said when we passed through that one small town and…”
She was waiting for you to confirm the pushed down memory that lived in your brain rent free.
It was a small midwestern town in the middle of nowhere. You and Ellie sat outside a coffee shop Joel was currently ransacking for supplies. It was a nice day like today, you and Ellie were sitting on the steps keeping watch as Joel went through the kitchen.
“You know, if the world wasn’t shit I would like my own store. Maybe a coffee shop, it sounds nice. Calm, definitely.” Ellie confided in you. “What would you be doing?”
Your foot tapped on the concrete as you thought to yourself. What would you be doing?
“I would be in college by now. For what, I’m not sure. I would have eventually liked to be married but… that’s never gonna happened.”
“Never say never. You always have Joel.”
You scoffed and giggled. But you had to admit, you had gotten to know the older man well. He was bitter, but you saw through the cracks sometimes. He was quite handsome anyways. Something about his rugged appearance and peppery hair just sat right with you. He had a few soft moments with you along the journey, patching you up after a fight or comforting you after a nightmare that Ellie didn't know about. But that was ridiculous. Ellie was talking nonsense.
You laughed out loud to Ellie’s suggestion, just like you had previously. “Don’t deny it. I see the way you look at him Y/N.”
“Your full of shit,” you joked, giving Ellie a slight push on her shoulder.
“Joel would make a nice husband though. Strong, resourceful, handsome. If I had to pick… sure. I’d be Mrs. Miller any day.”
When you said the words you wanted to suck them back in. Too soon, too much, too quickly. Ellie stared at you blankly. Joel exited the building at the perfect time with a few cans of fruit and spoons. Perfect timing. You remembered the awkward silence as you ate on the pineapple bits, but the phrase rung in your head for days.
“Mrs. Miller”
Being brought back into reality, the memory of expressing interest in Joel re lit something in you. You felt your stomach churn.
“Ah… see?” Ellie exclaimed. Your face turned red as you wanted to bury it in your book. “Mrs. Miller!” she yelled, leaving the living room towards the kitchen and out the back door.
“Ellie!” you yelled firmly, following her with your fists clenched. “Where are you going?”
“To find Joel.”
“Why?” you asked panicked, finally catching up to her on the street panting. You were more nervous than ever to hear her response. “To set you and Joel up on a date, duh!”
"Ellie!" you scolded her, looking around to make sure no one heard her. "What?" she whined, breaking away from your eye on her and making a straight line for Joel's house. To your luck, he was in his garden tending to his flowers. He hadn't seen either of you yet.
You let out a quiet shout, a simple “Ah!” as Ellie pranced down the street. You couldn't watch it, you couldn't look. You ran back in to your house and shut the back door behind you. Sliding down the back of the door and sitting on your kitchen floor, you prayed he responded positively. Or that Ellie was just trying to scare you in a ‘I’m telling the teacher but actually just asking to go to the bathroom’ way. And if Ellie actually went through with her plan, you hoped he didn't take this the wrong way. Even though you really didn't think he would. Would he?
-
It was the next day. You had refused to leave your house in sheer embarrassment. Running in to Joel right now was just a no. You had just gotten out of the shower when you heard the pattering of feet in your downstairs. Praying it was Ellie, you grabbed your knife and held your towel against your chest. "Ellie?"
"Oh, there you are!" she exclaimed. You sighed. "You know, you cant just break in to my house whenever you want." you said, sticking your knife in to your banister.
"It's important!" Ellie exclaimed. "Is it important enough to wait until I can get dressed?"
"He said yes."
You were confused. "Who said yes?"
"Joel!"
Your mouth slightly dropped. "And when did I agree to this?" you asked, venturing in to your bedroom to get dressed. In all honestly, you could have stood and talked to Ellie for a few more minutes comfortably in your towel, but you wanted to hide the wide grin that couldn't seem to leave your face even if you tried.
"When you told me you wouldn't mind being Mrs. Miller," Ellie teased, acting like she was stating the obvious. You poked your head out of your door and looked down your stairs and gave Ellie a sour expression. "I only want you to be happy, that's all!"
"I'm perfectly fine as it is. I didn't need you meddling in my life."
"Well, nobody else was going to do it. We all see how your cooped up here, reading all day. We just want to make sure your okay."
You came out of your bedroom dressed, wrangling out the ends of your wet hair with a towel. You met Ellie at the bottom of the stairs. "And who is we?" you questioned. Ellie sucked her teeth. "You caught us," she chuckled, staring at her converse. "Tommy and Maria and...maybe Dina?"
You sighed audibly, closing your eyes for a moment. "All three of you! Wow." you said somewhat sarcastically.
"Ellie!" you heard a yell from outside. It was her new friend, Dina, who she was almost inseparable with.
"Gotta go." she said, opening your front door and skipping down your steps.
"Ellie- wait!"
She turned around and looked at you, you saw Dina anxiously waiting for her. "When is he coming?"
Ellie shrugged. "Dunno. He said he'd be around."
Your face scrunched in confusion. Be around...?
Before you could ask any follow up questions, the two girls were gone.
———
“This is so damn stupid,” Joel whispered to himself. His doubt was creeping in. The bouquet was hidden behind his back. Fresh picked from his garden, tied off with a bit of twine. His other hand was about to knock on your door. It wasn’t too late… 7 o’clock? You wouldn’t be in bed yet, right? Knock knock.
There was some shuffling from inside the house, and you opened the door. Almost yanked the door open, actually. Joel took a step back due to the commotion. “Joel?” you nervously asked, pretending you weren’t anxiously waiting for the random arrival of your not-so blind date all day. “W-what are you doing here?” you asked, playing dumb.
“If it’s not a good time I can-”
“Oh—no! It’s perfect, d-do you want to come in?” you asked the older man, looking up at him. Joel never seemed as intimidating as he did now. And you’ve seen him torture people before.
You let Joel in to your house as the two of you just stared at each other awkwardly. What did you really have to talk about? 
“What are those?” you asked anxiously, referencing down to the flowers in his hands.
“Oh!” he exclaims, kicking himself mentally for not remembering to give them to you. “There for you. Fresh from my garden.” 
You recognized the flower as tulips, your favorite. Joel was touched by the sparkle that came to your face once he presented them to you. Accepting them, your hands grazed his a bit. The both of you let go, almost dropping the flowers on the floor. An awkward laugh was exchanged. “Thank you, there beautiful.” you sighed in awe, moving in to the kitchen to get a glass to put them in. “How did you know tulips were my favorite?”
“Wild guess?” Joel responded. Not from Ellie prepping Joel for this date, not at all. 
“So what did you have in mind for tonight?” you asked, cutting off the stems of the tulips so they would fit in the glass jar you had filled with water. 
“Uh,” Joel mumbled. “I- you know that trail around the fence?”
“Up the mountain?” you asked him, setting the flowers down in the middle of your table. “Yeah. Your up to it?”
“That's a great idea, Joel.”
He let out his breath he was holding, thrilled that you agreed to his idea. Ellie said it was stupid, that walking the trails at night could be creepy. Ellie suggested a nice dinner, but Joel thought that was just so boring. Every date he had ever been on had basically been a nice dinner. He had this planned ever since Ellie even brought up the idea of a possible interest in pursuing Y/N.
Stargazing. 
The cool air was refreshing. You kept in rhythm with Joel. He was slower than you, and he was worrying that it would be a turn off for you. But you didn’t mind. You enjoyed taking in the silent night and the hums of nature slowly.
The moon was full and it was a clear night. The trail was overgrown, but still manageable. Joel had trekked up here earlier that day to get ready. As the clearing began to come in to view, Joel felt his anxiety rising. What if you didn’t like it? What if he put too much effort in to it and you thought it was weird? Joel was a quiet kept man, but his thoughts were screaming almost constantly. 
“Joel!” you gasped, stopping at the edge of the clearance. 
A blanket was laid on the ground with a few decorative pillows. A canteen with two cups sat on the grass along with a book and a lantern. Joel reached down and clicked the lantern open, and it began to emit a soft warm light. It wasn’t like the harsh, recreational ones that would blind you. 
“Did you do this? It’s… beautiful.”
Joel’s eyes cast up at you. “It’s nothing much…”
You sat down next to Joel on the blanket he had set out. “Nothing much?” you chuckled, taking in the beautiful view that shown over an abandoned city where Jackson got a lot of their supplies from. 
“I think this is the nicest thing a guy has ever done for me.”
“Then you obviously haven't met many nice guys,” Joel said, his voice shaking slightly. He realized how detrimental and self-deprecating that sounded and tried to re-phrase it. “You haven't been on many dates… right?”
And that now sounded predatory. “I-I mean-”
“Actually, this is my first date. Ever.”
Your confidence and comfortability answering him calmed Joel’s nerves. “I don’t mean to pry,” you began. “But did you ever have someone? Like before all this. And if you don’t want to reply that’s okay, I was just wondering but-”
Joel chuckled a bit at your eagerness. “Nah, no worries.” he re assured you, slowly moving his arm around you. Accepting his touch, you moved in to his embrace as the two of you stared up at the stars. “I had a wife- she was my ex-wife. My daughter’s mother. We had her real young, and she just wasn’t ready for the commitment of a family.”
“I’m sorry,” you muttered, watching a blinking star above. “It’s alright. Gave me the best life I could have ever asked for, for thirteen years.”
“And your daughter?”
Joel knew this was bound to come up sooner or later, just not this soon. He didn’t even realize he mentioned Sarah until you asked your follow up question. “She didn’t make it past outbreak day like most people didn’t.” he said bluntly. “But anyways,” he said quickly, saving the awkward response from you. “What about you? Any family?”
“Just Ellie. No relation as you know, but she’s my sister.” Joel nodded. There wasn’t much in this world, and family became what you made it. “What’s that?” you asked, perking your head up from Joel’s chest and pointing over to the grass. “What?” he asked. “The coffee or the book?”
You gasped. “You got coffee?”
He smiled and smirked. “I’ve always wanted to try coffee!” you exclaimed.
Joel looked at you with an odd look. “Your tellin’ me you've never had coffee?”
“No!” you exclaimed. “I used to have this every morning before the outbreak. Withdrawals the first few weeks were definitely difficult.” he explained as he poured you a glass. It was dark and steaming hot. “Coffee is a delicacy, dude. No one in the QZ had this where I was from. It would occasionally get passed out to the soldiers but man, that’s cool.” you said. Joel forgot—you were a post outbreak baby. You wouldn’t have known of the luxury of Starbucks or an espresso machine. “You may not like it, but it’s very unlikely.” he explained. Joel’s love for coffee was strong.
You took the first sip. It burned your tongue and tasted like dirt water. The smell was unmatchable, but the taste was just horrible. You froze, not wanting to disappoint Joel. 
Joel couldn't help it, he couldn't keep in his laughter. “Not a fan?” he asked, looking at you behind his cup as he took a sip. “It’s very…interesting?” you said, forcing yourself to take another sip. 
“Don’t torture yourself now,” Joel said, extending his hand for the cup. You gladly gave it back to him. “It was a nice thought,” you said dearly, giving him credit for his sweet gesture. “Ellie said the same thing when I made her try some. Must be a…”
He didn’t want to say it. His words came out faster than he could think. “What, a post outbreak baby thing?” you finished his sentence.
That was exactly what Joel was going for. “I mean, I didn’t mean it that way but…”
“It’s okay. Stop worrying Joel, you seem so nervous.” you flirted. “Aren't you?” Joel asked, feeling like that emotional wall was just broken down by your comment.
“Me? Oh, I’ve been a nervous wreck all day. Ellie didn’t give me a time, place, or any context other than that you were coming.” 
“Your kiddin’ me. That damn kid,” he sighed, reaching for the book on his side. “Speakin’ of Ellie.” he said, handing you the book.
“Constellations and Stars.” you said in awe.
“For kids,” you added, reading the small line under the title. “This some kind of cruel joke?” you asked Joel, opening the first page. “I promise it not,” he chuckled. “Found it in Ellie’s old storage bin she keeps in my basement. Thought it was useless, well, until now.”
“Do you see any?” you asked Joel. The two of you were laying flat on the blanket. Your head rested on his chest as his arm draped down protectively over you. Your legs were touching, feet and calves were intertwining. “The Big Dipper is always easy to find… if you look.”
You opened the book and flipped around a few pages until you found the page for the Big Dipper. “Like a kite,” you said. “Yeah, kind of like a kite.” 
After a few minutes of intense searching in the sky and enjoying your other’s companies, you found it. “Joel, I think I found it.”
“You did. I found it like five minutes ago.” he said shyly. You sighed in defeat. “I guess your just better than me.” you sighed sarcastically. “I guess I am.” Joel hummed.
“You know, back when the world wasn’t like this people would buy each other stars?” Joel asked. “That’s the stupidest thing I have ever heard.” you laughed. “With real money? Like the physical stuff?”
“Yup.” Joel confirmed. 
“I would buy you a star if I could.” you said suddenly. Joel suddenly felt a warmth grow inside of him, one he hadn't felt for many years. He had to spit out his thought, he just had to. Didn’t want to waste an opportunity. 
“I’d buy the whole sky of stars for you.” he said softly. You looked up at him, a hand resting on his chest. “Would you really?”
“In a heartbeat.”
The rest of the night was filled with laughter. You told Joel old stories about your QZ, he told you old stories about his life. Sharing what seemed like useless future plans now sounded promising with Joel. The two of you never wanted the night to end.
tag list(sorry if this appears twice tumblr is glitching currently) @dani5216 @uwiuwi @alohastyles-x @mandoloriancookie @maddieinnit0 @alexxavicry @scoliobean @avengersfan25 @nyotamalfoy
You noticed the small wrinkles around Joel’s eyes when he smiled. When he smiled at least, you don't think you have ever seen this man so filled with so much joy before. You took in the detail of his smiling face intricately, not wanting to forget the feeling of the moment you were in. This man just said he would buy the whole sky of stars for you. You would do quite literally anything for him, but not like you wouldn’t have done it before. The feelings were very obviously now mutual. 
-
tag list: @dani5216 @uwiuwi @alohastyles-x @mandoloriancookie @maddieinnit0 @alexxavicry @scoliobean @avengersfan25 @nyotamalfoy
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