#i’m still kinda emotional but not super bad

[wqxianvents]

// talking abt the main story update in tears of themis!! trigger warning below

my thoughts are definitely mixed up while writing this so if you decide to read it, sorry it may be confusing LMAO

also if you do read this pls fully read my marius comment!! mari has def become one of my number 1 faves and i don’t want it to seem like i’m slandering marirosa or him personally lol

TW;; child neglect, emotional abuse/gaslighting/emotional manipulation, in the story it implies sexual violence (rword) but i don’t mention it here explicitly

this chapter was super close to home for me and i didn’t expect to be as triggered as i was lmao. when i saw the warnings on twt i was like, okay, i can handle this and i did finish the story without breaking down.

the last episode definitely left me off feeling less upset, especially when rosa talked to irene and told her about jade and that they will get justice for her and the kids/people abused.

i had a lot of theories while reading the story, a few laughs but definitely around the last time they questioned jun i started to get more serious.

the first trigger was that questioning, when jun said he basically raised her like a canary in a cage,, which was pretty fucked up and where i stopped defending jun to be honest lmao, like i thought you loved her??

the biggest fucking trigger for me was when they talked to irene before the trial. when caroline was there. when irene talked about the fact she did ask for her mother to help her, that she was uncomfortable and wanted to go home… and caroline basically brushed her off like a nuisance.

that is the most infuriating part of this case for me personally and out of all the characters i definitely sympathize with irene the most. people don’t understand the fucking fear you have to sit through when your parents brush you off saying, “i’m gonna get you in the morning, you’re fine.” and having to be in a place that you find so disgustingly uncomfortable (even if they are good people!!) it’s just… you have no excuse to not come pick up your child that has stated they want to come home.

what if something did happen to your kid? you wouldn’t know because you decided to hang up that phone and left them in a place that you have no clue what’s happening off that device. because you were caring about your own alone time not even wondering why the exact reason your kid said they wanted to leave. the difference is that irene had to deal with this for over ten years. no help at all.

i had this theory at the beginning that jade was actually alive and she n irene both killed edwin over irene being abused (bc the way ppl described how close they were) or bc of the debts. i wasn’t all the way off the mark i think if jade was alive and irene did understand jade’s side, how jade was the only person who did care and want to help irene, irene would probably manipulate jade’s (if jade wasn’t already feeling resentful) emotions (the way she did to jun) and they’d both kill him.

i started to realize jun probably never really loved irene bc the “love at first sight” was literally just of her looks that’s why he agreed to the marriage and he was basically a sick possessive fuck, the fact he took away irene’s only hope, her last dream to get away from the people who hurt her the most and forced her to stay with him? sick.

i was also pretty upset with the way rosa just straight up showed caroline the abuse pictures while the VICTIM was in the room… it was sickening… also when they got to the car and the conversation mari and rosa had made me?? a little irk 😭😭

i know marius needed that pep talk for sure and i definitely don’t disagree i just think after being triggered from what irene explained and how i was relating to some things that happened to her it felt like that wasn’t an appropriate conversation to have in that moment bc of what information was just given… and just bc it just felt like a lovey-dovey moment between them after this serious ass moment and i was just … weirded out(?) LMAOO, i don’t know how to explain it… i felt like that conversation was better to have after the last questioning with jun but!! it’s fine,, i’m glad he trusted rosa to talk abt that bc he did have points.

i am FARR from hating rosa that was just something that bothered me bc ?? idk be a LITTLE MORE SENSITIVE TO THE ONE IN THE ROOM IN THOSE TRAUMATIZING PICS??? 😭😭 /nm /lh

it’s sad when you live in the same exact world as other people but they deal with sad things happening to them and you somehow feel spoiled or blessed because of that fact. :(

i think just cuz jun doesnt have a great father figure in his life (his grandfather) compared to marius dad being a protecter of his son and doesn’t have a great brother like marius doesn’t give him a right to make marius feel bad about this life he has. yes, you weren’t fortunate enough but jsut because you point out these great things marius has but you don’t doesnt mean marius doesn’t deal with bad things either in his life… your family is close to disowning you but marius also deals with slander, from people in pax to the public view? like… i get how jealousy can form from it but !! it’s still messed up overall

conclusion!! lots of emotions, mixed feelings, different thoughts lol but i really enjoyed this chapter and got deeply immersive into the story. i think the way they portrayed different things and handled the victim trying to serve their own justice was greatly executed. definitely so far the most impacting story for me that really hit home, i hope edwin rots in hell :)

also i wanna see if anyone has different views from mine when it comes to caroline, to me she definitely used irene and should have cared more about her child than becoming CEO and “making it up to her”,, i think that was the lamest excuse and she couldnt even come up with a great reasoning of why she didn’t get her daughter when her daughter said she felt uncomfortable. i’m sure she definitely feels guilty at the end but these are the reasons why greed has the biggest karma of all.

i hope everyone enjoyed the chapter and if you did get triggered please drink some water and eat something!! write what you’re thinking about, rip it up and throw it away. watch something to ease your mind, you’re okay and safe! take it easy <3

#tears of themis #!tot ms #tears of themis spoilers #.vent #aaaa #idk #i’m still kinda emotional but not super bad #chapter was very heavy :( #I WAS SO HAPPY TOO FOR A MAIN STORY UPDATE 😭😭 #wasnt expecting to leave feelin like dis </3 #time to watch markipliar lmao #.ms 7

[lilgynt]

did mom and i have a long talk not fight talk yes however she said i’m an empath with no skin protecting me all i’m fucking hearing. is im will graham.

#i’m him #personal #nah. that chat was good. to me #gg and audrey said hm. you say productive but haven’t you had this chat before #anyway chat felt productive to me but very raw #still mad funny tho #like hm. i don’t know if i feel anything #my mom not even trying to quote hannibal: you reflect back and feel the emotions around you #like i’m crying and she’s apologizing bc she genuinely doesn’t want to upset me #and then saying the empth stuff and it’s like i’m listening and j kn #i know ur bringing this up for an actual reason but also please don’t make me giggle bc i’m will graham #the ending of it wasn’t super fun but not in the usual sense #it just. i asked her how she was after dad and it kinda clicked i lost my dad #like ofc she knew but. #anyway she was like nope actually my bad ur so right. hn. and then gave me a week off of tasks

[toniiswrld]

only you ☆ p.sh

park sunghoon x reader

jealous gf and reassuring bf >>>

🎀 smut 1&+ MDNI , fem!reader , small joke ab violence, dom!hoon , oral (f) , unprotected sex , creampie , kinda soft but like a little possessive , pet names (princess , baby)

⭐️ wc. 1.6k

🎧 love between… kali uchis

“baby, you seriously can’t still be mad at me right now, we've been back home for an hour” sunghoon groans as he follows you into the living room, watching as you sit on the opposite end of the couch.

“um, yes i can. that girl was all over you in the store! and i was literally right there! i’ll be mad as long as i want,” you pout, arms folding over your chest in annoyance to your oblivious boyfriend.

“but how is that my fault? it’s not like i flirted back. i simply ignored her advances, which is what i’m supposed to do… so why are you mad?”

“that’s just the bare minimum, hoon. you’re supposed to say ‘my super hot amazing girlfriend would kill you if you thought i'd pick you over her’ and then you punch her right in the stomach” you smile, feeling like you made a valid point and hoping that sunghoon would take notes. he just looks at you shocked, not very amused by your statement.

“i love you, so much… but im not punching a woman in the stomach” he chuckles, and you pout again.

“i guess you don’t really love me then!” you get up from the couch, storming into the kitchen to get away from the male who clearly doesn’t understand the severity of the matter.

he follows close behind you, not liking your little jealous attitude and wanting you to know that there was nothing for you to worry about. you were looking in the cabinet for a snack when you felt sunghoon behind you, turning your body around so you could look at him.

“baby, i love you, and only you” his voice was serious, letting you know that he meant every word and he wasn’t playing around.

you lean backwards, body supported by your hands on the counter. you give sunghoon a challenging look, trying to keep your attitude intact while he stares you down. “mhm… prove it then”

he has you pressed against the kitchen counter now, hand holding your hips still while he grabs your chin and brings it up so he could press his lips on yours. it was soft, but full of emotion. you give into him so easy, dropping the jealous act the moment his tongue swipes across your bottom lip. his hand on your hip moves to your ass, gripping the flesh over your pants. you groan, pushing your body closer to sunghoons while you bring your arms up to wrap around his neck.

his lips trailed down your neck, leaving a trail of wet kisses and bites on the exposed skin until his mouth reached your chest. he pulled away from you, looking at how your eyes were hooded and lips swollen from his kissing and from you biting them.

he groped at your breasts with each hand, pinching your hard nipples through your tank top which made you help.

“hoon” you whine, letting your hands rest back onto the counter behind you while sunghoon played with your tits through your shirt.

“yes, princess?”

“want you,”

“tell me what you want,”

you bring your hand to his, grabbing onto him and guiding his hand down to where you needed him most. you look at him with pleading eyes, hoping that he doesn’t try to tease you further and he gives you what you want.

he slips his hand into your pants, shifting your panties to the side so he could drag a finger through your slit. you bite back a moan, watching as sunghoon looks down at you in awe.

“so wet already princess, a little kissing has you this desperate for me already, huh?” his tone was condescending as he slipped his middle and ring finger into your cunt, making you let out a choked out moan.

“shit, yes. want you so bad hoon, please” you move your hips up, grinding on his fingers. he hums, leaving a quick kiss on your lips before pulling his fingers out of you. before you could whine about the loss, sunghoon was turning you around and bending your body over the countertop. still not giving you a moment to process, he was hooking his fingers into the fabric of your pants and pulling them down along with your underwear. all you could do was gasp at the cold room air hitting your exposed core.

“such a pretty pussy, baby. wouldn’t even think of wanting another one” he spreads your legs apart, getting down on his knees so he could be face to face with your pussy. hands resting where your ass and thighs connect, he grips the flesh to pull your folds apart to see how wet you are. the contact had you moaning, hips moving in the air as if there was anything touching you. the way you were positioned, you couldn’t see what sunghoon was doing. so you had no choice but to wait for him to make a move.

that's when you felt his lips on you, kissing all around your inner thighs with wet lips. he licked, sucked, and bit on the skin, getting closer and closer to your cunt with every kiss. you knew it was coming, but you were still caught by surprise when you finally felt his tongue come in contact with your clit. grabbing onto whatever your hands could reach, you held on tightly to the edge of the counter to keep yourself from falling.

“s-sunghoon! fuck, baby it feels so good” you cry out when his flicks to your clit turn into sucks and you can feel his nose prodding at your dripping hole. he’d move up to collect all your juices on his tongue, then back to your clit. he had a mixture of saliva and your arousal dripping down his chin, but it didn’t matter to him because he had your legs shaking over him.

“taste so good, all for me?” he mumbles from under you, he’s spreading your folds open while he talks, blowing lightly onto your clit forcing a whimper from you. your body from the waist down was strained, clit throbbing, legs aching from how you were bent over and nearly on your tippy toes, and sunghoons grip on your thighs getting stronger.

“mmmhm, always for you hoon. ‘m gna cum” you felt the string in your stomach get closer and closer to snapping, feeling like you would explode at any moment.

with your little warning of your impending orgasm, sunghoons lips and hands were off of you. your eyes that were threatening to close now wide open, the ache in between your thighs coming back and you feel like you were going to cry. you tried to stand up so you could turn to sunghoon, but he was already a step ahead of you. he had pushed you back down onto the counter, grabbing both your hands in one of his and holding them in place on your back.

“sorry princess. want you cumming around my cock, mkay?” he was pulling his pants down with his free hand, freeing his cock from the tight feeling of it straining in his boxers. all you could do was nod, the moan that left your lips being taken as a yes before sunghoon was lining himself up with your entrance.

with a small push, he was sliding right into you with a hiss. you ball your fists up, not being able to hold onto anything while sunghoon stretches you open with his cock. once he bottoms out, he pulls out almost completely before pushing himself back in with a sharp thrust. you gasp, him repeating this action twice before he finds a rhythm. he moves fast, hand gripping onto your waist while he pistons his hips into yours.

“taking my cock so well princess,” he groans out, words coming out slurred as he tries to keep his pace. “shit baby, you’re so tight for me”

you could feel yourself getting close again, the way you were bent over had sunghoons cock hitting a spot deep inside you, making you let out choked sobs every time he thrusted into you.

“hoonie, baby please let me cum, m’so close” the words come out in between cries, and you feel the hand that was holding you up wrap around to rub messy circles on your clit. you felt like you were on fire, the stimulation becoming painful the closer you got to your peak.

“cum for me, make a mess all over my cock princess” with the delicious pressure of his fingers on your clit, you were cumming before he could even finish his sentence. your body spasmed, clenching hard on sunghoons cock as you subconsciously tried to push away from him. you couldn’t move much with the hold he had on you, and he kept his fingers on your clit while he finally reached his own orgasm, giving you a few more harsh thrusts before his hips stilled as his cum filled you up. you both moan out, out of breath and completely fucked out.

he releases his hold on your hands, letting them rest on the counter where your head lays, and he’s leaning over you to place a kiss on your shoulder.

“still mad at me baby?”

“i don’t know, you might have to prove yourself again in the shower”

A/N: first enha fic on this account 🤭🤭 i hope you guys liked it. more coming soon !!

reqs are open !! -> 🎀

#enhypen smut #sunghoon smut #enhypen x reader #enhypen imagines #enhypen hard hours #enhypen hard thoughts #sunghoon hard hours #sunghoon hard thoughts #sunghoon x reader #toniiswrld

[fuckaperioddrama]

Mattheo Riddle Headcanons

Warnings: Mattheo Riddle / Toxic | Fem!Reader |Mentions of Verbal and Physical Abuse | Mentions of Childhood Truama | Mentions of Violence | Mentions of Drug/Alcohol Consumption | Curse Words | Mentions of Rough Sex | Daddy Kink | Mentions of Wax Play, Bondage, Fingering and Choking | Mentions of Oral Sex (Female Performing) | Let me know if I missed something!

Author’s Note: Mattheo’s feels more angsty than my Theo headcanons. A bit of a different vibe all together, but I don’t think I mind it???

Proofread, but there's probably still mistakes.

Theodore Nott Headcanons

Lorenzo Berkshire Headcanons

Blaise Zabini Headcanons

Tom Riddle Headcanons

Draco Malfoy Headcanons

Masterlist

Minors DNI | 18+

—-

Mattheo Riddle | Physique

6’2 - 6’3 | Not super tall like Theo, but still tall

He’s on the buffer side. It’s not crazy, but it’s crazy?

He’s like the guy you look at and you don’t automatically think ‘Oh shit he’s buff’, but then you see him pick something heavy up and his muscles start to ripple and then his sleeves stretch and it’s like OH! You can’t help but stare in awe thinking about how his t-shirt isn’t the only thing that’s about to get STRETCHED

WE LOVE A MAN THAT LOOKS LIKE HE COULD TEAR US IN HALF!!! RESPECTFULLY!!!!!

He has abs, but they’re not super defined abs. Like morning abs and then he drinks some water and they're gone unless you're looking at him from a certain light.

He works out a little, but he mostly it's just Quidditch. He's someone who is naturally really strong and doesn't have to work at it.

I don’t think he has a resting mean face, I think he has a resting ‘ugh’ face. He doesn’t look angry he just looks annoyed. Until he is angry and then he looks like he’s about to fuck some shit up.

Hot. Like dangerously hot. So hot that he could ask you to rob a bank in broad daylight and you would just giggle and say

Yes, Matty

-

I DONT KNOW IF THAT MAKES SENSE BUT I FEEL LIKE MATTHEO HAS THE KIND OF HOTNESS ENERGY THAT MAKES YOU JUST CRUMBLE INSTANTLY IT’S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN TRY

HE JUST WALKS INTO A ROOM AND YOUR LEGS SPREAD WIDE OPEN

Mattheo Riddle | Personality

He’s an asshole, but the reviews are mixed.

It just depends on his mood. Sometimes people meet him when he’s in a good mood and they walk away thinking he’s kinda alright. Not too bad.

Sometimes they meet him when his Riddle side is really showing through and they think he's an absolute dick.

Some people just hate him to hate him and some people do not care about him in the slightest.

That being said, he has some mood swings.

He has a lot of moments where he zones out and starts overthinking things and then all of a sudden his mood is ruined. It seems sudden to others, but it makes sense to him.

He knows why he's upset, he just doesn't want to talk about it.

He just has a lot of emotions that he won’t ever show or talk about unless it’s the angry ones.

Speaking of, like Theo, he’s more of a fuck around and find out type of guy. I don't see him going out of his way to bully some random person.

However, he can be soooo obnoxious when he doesn’t like someone.

Yelling at them from across the hallway. Going out of his way to make this persons life miserable. He is so petty.

He also won’t shut up when he fights.

Theo is the type to go stone cold when he’s about to fuck someone up whereas Mattheo starts laughing to himself. I don’t know which one is scarier tbh.

Mattheo is constantly belittling the people he’s fighting

Are you fucking stupid? Did you really think you could win?

Try that shit again and watch what the fuck happens. You think this is bad?

FUCK YOU!! YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT! FUCK!

He says ‘fuck’ a lot.

But he is also a refined man. A man of the arts.

I’m hopping on the train that Matty likes to draw.

He draws people, nature, but mainly weird or random things. If he sees a bird with a weird looking beak he’s drawing it. A road sign that is beyond repair and you can barely make out what it says? Looks like art to him.

He’s smart, but he doesn’t apply himself. He does his work sometimes, but he really lacks motivation

He does enough to pass. Bare minimum.

He likes going out.

Something tells me that Mattheo just doesn’t like being alone.

I know this is controversial. Some people think he's more of a loner. I think he has this 'I don't need people' attitude, but in reality Matty just wants to feel wanted.

He likes chaos and being in high stress environments because it’s the only time he is able to live in the moment and not think about his past or future

A beater in Quidditch to help get some of those pent up feelings out.

Eats just straight junk food all the time. He's not a picky eater, but he's not touching that broccoli.

Smokes. At least a pack every 3-4 days.

He smokes weed too.

I think the whole group partakes in a little 'gardening' from time to time.

At parties he drinks more than he smokes and he gets FUCKED UP

I don't think he blacks out, but he's definitely beyond his limit.

Will not sit the fuck down. Ever. It annoys the boys so much.

Has problems keeping his train of thought too. Can not tell a story to save his life.

Mattheo Riddle | Casanova

Mattheo’s a whore, but he's a sad whore? | Me too, Matty. Me too.

Man just craves intimacy, but doesn't know that he craves actual intimacy and not just sex.

As I mentioned before, he does not like being alone so he has sex as a way to fill the void.

How he treats these women depends how he's feeling when he seeks them out.

Sometimes he's more horny than lonely

Other times he's more lonely than horny

If he's horny then he’s passionate

Ripping off clothes, throwing her onto his bed, manhandling her because he’s just so desperate

He’s switch, but his switch side hasn't been unlocked yet.

He's not letting some random person dominate him. Absolutely not.

So he's a Dom and he likes to throw in a bit of dirty talk from time to time.

Such a slut. You like being fucked like this?

You feel that? You feel me all the way in the back of your fucking throat? Oh, it’s too much? Too fucking bad.

Let daddy hear you scream

Yeah, he has a daddy kink.

MAN IS A FREAK.

BUT lonely whore Mattheo has a completely different energy.

If he found these women because he was lonely then he’s not into foreplay really. He’ll do a little to set the mood, but he’s just trying to fuck his way into feeling something in his cold, sad, numb heart.

If he’s SUPER lonely then he’ll even let them spend the night, but that's RARE because he hates dealing with them in the morning.

Not super vocal. Maybe a moan here. Groan there.

Mattheo as a whole? Afterwards?

Maybe he’ll flirt with them in the hallways, maybe he’ll walk passed them like nothing happened.

Maybe he caught some feelings? He might feel some lust towards them, but mostly he feels nothing. Regardless, you'll never be able to tell.

It’s always a guessing game with Mattheo Riddle.

Mattheo Riddle | Friend

Closest to Theodore and Draco.

I KNOW he’s not usually paired up as buddy buddy with Draco, but it just makes sense in my mind. They balance each other out.

He loves Theo because Theo makes it easy. He’s a breath of fresh air. They don’t talk about their super deep shit, but they acknowledge that it’s there and they give each other a shoulder to lean on. A mutual understanding of each other.

He loves Draco for the opposite reason. Nothing about their friendship is easy because all Draco does is nag him.

Draco always tries to push his aesthetic and fashion choices onto Mattheo. Tries. But Mattheo makes it very clear he won’t be another Malfoy minion.

What Mattheo does appreciate is when Draco guides him through his homework. Showing patience he didn’t know Draco was capable of.

When Draco bust into Mattheo’s room to get him up for Quidditch because Mattheo was out partying till who knows when.

When Draco hands him a buttered pastry and some water after Mattheo pukes his guts out from said partying.

Draco says it’s because he can’t have one of his star players incapacitated, but they both know it’s because Draco loves him too.

Definitely the ‘baby’ of the group. Mattheo is always in some sort of a mess.

And Draco is the mommy.

I feel like I’ve pinpointed a lot of Mattheo’s more immature moments, which?? In all fairness, really shines through with his friends.

But he also has a lot of emotional maturity as well.

He’s someone who would be attentive even if he definitely doesn't seem like it.

He's usually in his own head, but if he's actively paying attention then he picks up on mood switches very quickly.

I feel like the whole group is actually very good at picking up on shifts in energy. It's a trauma response from growing up with narcissistic and abusive parents.

Poor babies.

Mattheo is a lot of work and the boys always end up taking care of him, but he takes care of them too.

Mattheo is surprisingly good with his words when it counts. He can’t talk himself out of a bad headspace, but he can talk other people out of them.

He gives good advice, and although his exterior is often cold, he can bring a nice comforting energy that’s appreciated throughout his whole friend group.

I think that he is like this because he would always comfort his friends when their death eater parents would get a little too rough verbally or physically in the name of Voldemort. Since his dad had a hand in driving these people towards being even more cruel he feels kinda responsible.

Mattheo Riddle | Boyfriend

Oh my sweet baby Mattheo

Mattheo Riddle is so confused and sooo frustrated.

Most of his friends have some sort of an idea? Some sort of a squed idea of how relationships work, but Mattheo is so lost.

He felt like it all happened so fast.

First it was just flirting, and dates that he didn't even realize were dates. All of a sudden he's experiencing things? Feelings? Genuine romantic connection??

He was FREAKING OUT!

Then he just blurted out absolute nonsense that you somehow comprehended

I want to spend more time with you. Officially.

Officially?

Yeah. I mean...-I want us to be together. Officially.

Like as your girlfriend?

Yeah...that’s...what I said.

Sometimes when he talks you just want to bang your head against a wall.

But other times?? Other times??

Words of Affirmation

Once again, Mattheo didn’t know how to be a boyfriend at ALL and you felt that.

You really liked Mattheo, but you weren’t sure if he really liked you because he just didn’t show it.

He would be flirty at first, but once he caught himself catching actual feelings I feel like he'd be more on the awkward side

Mattheo picked up the fact that you were starting to question his true feelings and would be racking his brain trying to figure out what the fuck to do.

He's smart enough to know his friends gave him shit advice

Then one day he would see you first thing in the morning and his heart would stop. Without even thinking he just blurts out how beautiful you are

He sees your face light up and he just runs with it.

You’re so smart, baby.

I love it when you’re here.

and eventually...

I love you.

He’s so sweet. Every five seconds he’s whispering in your ear while you’re giggling and turning to see him look at you with the most love struck eyes.

Then there’s other times when he’s whispering about how pretty you looked bent over his lap last night

Regardless, you never question his affections again because Mattheo Riddle reminds you every day how much he wants to be with you

And he dedicates so much Quality Time to showing you he wants to be with you too

Matty likes to take you out! HE WANTS TO SHOW YOU OFF

You're just the most beautiful girl in the world and he wants to go on adventures and experience life with you right by his side

While reminding everyone that you chose him. Not them. HIM!

He likes to drag you into every party you'll allow him to and he stays next to you all night. He keeps his one hand on your hip and will not let go. His grip is TIGHT

Man has attachment issues.

Likes to sleep with you every night and keeps his body pressed tightly against yours, walks you to and from every class, sits next to you in the classes you share, in the Great Hall. Everywhere you go he's just there.

Would follow you around the world blindly. He has no idea what you're doing half of the time, he just knows he wants to do it with you.

He starts to show an interest in your hobbies so that he can spend more time with you.

Sometimes if you're too busy to hang out with him he'll purposefully start an argument just to get your attention.

Who cares if you're angry at him, as long as you're paying attention to him.

Which is something you have to work on. Consistently.

Eventually after a couple of months he'll learn that life is easier if he gets your attention in ways that doesn't end up in a screaming match

He's trying his best guys.

Now if he wants your attention he just gets touchy.

Once he gets comfortable and knows your boundaries and his; he becomes really touchy.

So much Physical Touch

Mattheo feels very protective over you, so he likes to constantly touch you just so he knows you're safe and right next to him.

Arm around your waist, having you sit on his lap. He also absent mindedly touches you a lot. Playing with your hands, hair, caressing your arm, etc.

After a while, physical intimacy with you just feels so normal to him. He feels empty if he's not touching you in some way.

When he's clingy though? Sometimes it can be a little overwhelming

He will ALWAYS hold you, even in times where it just doesn't make sense to

While you're brushing your teeth, trying to get dressed, even when you're walking. His arms are wrapped around your shoulders and you're sweating from having this large ass man practically lean his entire body against you while you're trying to move.

Matty, I can't walk like this.

So you hate me now? Is that it?

I also feel like Mattheo just loves to kiss you. There's something comforting about feeling you beneath his lips.

His favorite places to kiss you are your cheek, lips and jawline.

You'll be sitting down trying to study and he's right next to you, placing soft kisses on your cheek, moving down to your jawline, and letting out the lowest moan as his lips move closer to your ear.

As soon as you turn your head to interject his lips are pressed against yours and you can barely get a word out.

Ma-

(Kiss)

Mat-

(Kiss)

Matthe-

(Kiss)

You have to physically hold him back, struggling as he leans forward with his lips puckered out.

Mattheo, I need to study.

The only thing you need to be studying is this di-

Acts of Service

I think taking care of you would be a gradual process for Mattheo.

Like most things. Having a girlfriend is overall just a lot for him to take in emotionally.

It would start with him noticing you struggle to carry your books in the hallway. He would just offer to carry them for you and then after that he would start carrying them all the time. Wouldn’t even ask, he’d just slip them from your arms.

One day your skirt was a little on the short side and you bent down to grab something and a guy whistled at you.

After he got done beating the guy away from an inch of life he decided he’d be the one to pick stuff up next time you dropped something.

Just a whole bunch of small moments that lead to him doing stuff for you. Then he realizes he actually likes it and just incorporates taking care of you into his daily routine.

If you have trouble sleeping through your alarm, he’ll make sure he’s awake on time to get you up.

You have a lot on your plate and are struggling to get some stuff done? He’ll clear his entire schedule just to help you.

Mattheo’s the kind of guy who would track your period just so he can make sure you’re stocked up on pads, tampons, snacks, or whatever you need.

He’s a mess, but he’s so organized when it comes to you. He somehow always knows what you need and when you need it. Ink, parchment, he even bought you new tights when a pair of yours ripped one time.

He was the one who ripped them, but Mattheo was more than happy to go out and buy you a replacement after. Gift Giving

As Mattheo starts doing more for you, I feel like gifts would start to fall in naturally.

He’d buy you flowers sometimes, but mostly it’s just random stuff.

Maybe he was up earlier than normal and decided to go out and buy your favorite pastries or he saw a cool t-shirt and bought it for you

Or maybe he was just walking around Hogsmeade and saw your favorite sweets displayed in the window of a shop and stopped whatever he was doing to go buy them for you.

He still likes to splurge on jewelry and luxury items now and then, but I think those are more for special occasions unless he sees something he thinks you’ll love while he's out.

Unless you want the more expensive items.

I just feel like he's more likely to buy you more personalized stuff, but he doesn’t pay attention to price or put thought into how much he's spending on you.

He just buys whatever he thinks you’ll want. Maybe it’s $5? Maybe it’s $500,000?? Doesn’t matter to him as long as you like it.

The one expensive thing he will consistently buy is lingerie because...well

Mattheo Riddle | Comitted Lover

Horny. Mattheo Riddle is always in the mood.

Lonely Matty has left the building and horny Matty is here to STAY

It feels like everyday he’s dragging you away from something because he just needs you.

One second you’re talking to your friend and then the next you’re being shoved into whatever secluded area is closest.

He’s just moves fast. Mattheo waste zero time getting to the important stuff.

It’s like you blink, he’s tucking your panties into his pocket, and you’re questioning when he even had the time to take them off.

Now you’re sitting on top of a desk while Mattheo pumps his long, thick cock into you. You’re grasping the edge of the desk with one hand while the other is gripping the fabric of his opened button down. Your breathing heavy as you desperately try to keep your balance with each thrust.

And he’s so vocal. Moans and curse words escaping his mouth each second and he gets LOUD

And if you call him daddy??

Gone. You can hear him all the way in the other side of the school.

He doesn’t give a shit if people hear him. Why?

I told you guys he’s a FREAK

Mattheo also LOVES to experiment

Wax play, bondage, choking? He is always willing to try something new.

And if you’re willing, he will twist and turn you into all different positions so he can blow your back out from EVERY SINGLE ANGLE

I don’t think Mattheo has a favorite position, he just has a favorite person and that’s you.

Hell fuck you in doggy, missionary, standing up, laying down, in the lake, in the forest, against a tree, in the hallway with all the portraits staring down at him HE DOESN’T CARE AS LONG AS IT'S YOU HE’S FUCKING

And girl???? One word.

STAMINA

If it's not a quickie then he is going non-stop. NON-STOP.

He'll have you on your back, his hands pressed up against your thighs, holding your legs in place while he drills his cock deep inside of you over and over, and over, and over again. Not once giving a single indication that he is getting tired.

I wouldn’t classify Mattheo as a munch because I think it’s more about the act of pleasing you.

Man will spend multiple rounds eating you out, fingering you, and kissing every square inch of your body because you’re just so fucking addicting

He didn’t care that much about foreplay before, but with you?? He can't get enough.

You know how I mentioned his switch side hadn’t been activated yet??? Hehe

Switch Matty is reserved for one person and one person only. His sexy ass girlfriend.

Tell him he’s a good boy and he’s on his KNEES

Daddy issues?

I think he prefers to be Dom, but he also can’t imagine ever turning down the sight of you on top of him.

Head thrown back, and boobs bouncing in his face while he stares at you in awe. He doesn’t know how he managed to get you, but one thing for certain, he is never letting you go.

—-

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

okay.

Theodore Nott and Mattheo Riddle done. Enzo next?

Jk. I’ve already started writing Enzo’s. Stay tuned.

Iffy on if I did Mattheo justice. I’m open to hear all different takes!

If y’all haven’t already gotten tired of me posting these unnecessarily long headcanons.

#slytherin boys #theodore nott #lorenzo berkshire #slytherin boys smut #blaise zabini #draco malfoy #theo nott smut #theodore nott smut #tom riddle #slytherin boys headcanons #mattheo riddle smut #mattheo riddle #mattheo riddle headcanon #slytherin boys headcanon #slytherin #slytherin boys fanfiction #slytherin boys fic #slytherin boys imagine #slytherin boys react #slytherin boys x reader #slytherin boys x you #lorenzo berkshire smut #enzo berkshire smut #enzo berkshire

[wheresarizona]

Learning to Live Part 26

summary: Watching Javier with Steve and Connie Murphy’s three kids has you experiencing a bad case of baby fever. Some important discussions lead to making a big decision, and there’s one question you hadn’t anticipated being asked...

rating: E (18+!! No y/n, alternating POV, age gap (about ten years), explicit smut, sneaking around (you have to be quiet so the Murphys don’t hear you), unprotected p in v (wrap it up!), creampie, vaginal fingering, kinda rough sex (Javier works out his frustration on you), oral sex (f receiving), (MASSIVE) breeding kink, dirty talk, spit as lube, Javier saying very romantic things while he’s balls deep inside you, Steve trying to cockblock Javier with an obnoxiously squeaky bed (all it does is piss off Javi), Javier being a menace, misunderstanding, grumpy Javier, Javier being very cute with children, baby fever, emotional hurt/comfort, discussion of pregnancy/childbirth and fears, a dream sequence, death of a parent/grief, marriage proposal (it’s so romantic), love confession, mention of PTSD, an appearance of The Tac Vest™ (in a photo), Olivia and Javier talking shit about her dad in Spanish because Steve doesn’t understand, Connie being the best)

pairing: Javier Peña/f!reader

word count: 24.5k+ (It’s a good time)

a/n: Hello there! This is a BIG chapter both in number of words and in terms of plot. Since this is a super long one, odds are the Tumblr app isn’t going to let you reblog with a comment—it’s a known issue. I haven’t heard of any problems if you go onto Tumblr.com directly through a browser, though. Since reblogs are super important, it’s totally okay if you reblog without a comment, and if you wish to comment, you can either do it on the post through comments or by sending me an ask! I’m chill with whatever you feel like doing. 🥰🥰🥰 Thank you all for coming on this journey with me. This is something we’ve been looking forward to, and I hope you enjoy! Thank you to the love of my life, @juletheghoul, for betaing and being a trooper for this monstrosity of a chapter.

Thank you for reading! Comments and reblogs feed me. I’d love to know what you thought!

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Baby fever was real.

And it was dangerous.

At least that was the only explanation you had for this overwhelming desire to have your own child that needed, specifically, to be fathered by the love of your life, Javier Peña.

It was cool in the house, and you were in shorts and a loose t-shirt, yet your skin was heated, watching from your seat on the leather sofa as the man you were going to marry played with the two older Murphy children—you weren’t entirely sure what the game was, but it involved Javi holding the three-year-old son in one arm while he dueled their nine-year-old daughter, Olivia, with hard, yellow foam swords. They were over in the empty space of the family room designated for the kids with the toy box against the wall beside a kitchen playset and a tiny red plastic table with two matching tiny chairs, other larger toys lining up in a row next to them.

The three-year-old, Stevie, was laughing while your boyfriend moved about, dodging the young girl's attempts at jabbing him. A big smile was plastered on Javi’s face with sweat beading on his brow, and you were doing your damndest to ignore the primal instinct that had ensured the survival of the human species, purring in the back of your mind as it zeroed in on him as the perfect man to procreate with.

He was so strong, so caring, so kind, so handsome.

So perfect.

Beautiful chocolate-colored eyes you dearly loved met yours, and he winked, making you suck in a breath as you melted into the cushion behind you, not even embarrassed you were literally swooning.

The leather creaked and complained when someone sat down next to you, your attention still on the future father of your children.

“I told you he smiles and laughs with my kids,” Steve said beside you.

Your head whipped toward him, finding that he was holding a giggling Nate up in the air, bringing him down to kiss all over his face and lift him again.

When you first arrived, you wondered how involved a parent Steve was.

Many men left the childrearing to the mother, and with him not helping with nap time or volunteering to get the boys when they’d woken up, you thought he might be one of those men. What you came to find out was his kids adored him, and he was very present.

Earlier, you made chocolate chip cookies with Olivia and Stevie. Their dad happened to come into the kitchen just as you were putting them in the oven, and the kids flocked to him to excitedly tell him all about how they’d helped. He had picked up his three-year-old and smiled as he listened, taking them to the living room so Javi and you could clean up the mess you made. When it was time to eat the freshly baked cookies, Stevie ate his Connie-approved two cookies while sitting on his father’s knee at the kitchen table, Olivia eating her own in the seat beside them.

So, Steve was pretty great with his children.

When you commented about it while alone in the kitchen with your husband-to-be, he whispered to you about how it wasn’t always like this. Back in Colombia and when Steve first returned to Miami, he had that shitty patriarchal mindset that Connie should be the one to care for their daughter—that was, until Javi showed up and stepped in to help Connie with Olivia. Apparently, that triggered something in Steve and lit a fire under his ass to be a better father and husband.

Connie was currently on a run to the store, and Javi had taken it upon himself to entertain the energy-filled kids. Steve was handling Nate duty himself since the little one was super attached to his parents, especially his mother.

“Yes, you did,” you replied to the older man.

The toddler was now cuddled in his arms, repeating Dadada over and over again.

Steve looked at you. “He asked us earlier if we thought he’d be a good dad.”

“And how did you answer?”

White teeth appeared when he smiled. “We told him he’d be a great dad, and it was about damn time he became one.”

Your lips tipped up, glancing over at the man you were talking about, who was now down on his knees and being attacked by both of the children wielding the swords, shielding his head with his arms.

“Yeah, it really is.” Facing Steve again, you asked, “How did you know you were ready to be a parent?”

He snorted. “Did Javi ever tell you about how we got Olivia?”

Your eyebrows furrowed. “He told me you adopted her in Colombia…?”

Leaning in, he spoke a little quieter, “The story doesn’t start off too happy, but I know Jav’s told you about what things were like down there.”

“Hell.”

“Yeah,” he agreed, nodding his head. “Javi and I found her when she was a baby in the home where Pablo Escobar’s sicarios murdered her mother and grandmother—would’ve murdered her, too, if we hadn’t shown up.” He took a deep breath like he was remembering, your eyes widening at the horror.

Murdering a defenseless baby? They were monsters.

“Escobar was also responsible for the death of her father,” he continued. “She was so tiny and had no one. I was worried more people would come for her, so I brought her home with me. Connie wasn’t too happy about it at first.” A smile pulled up on his lips as he chuckled. “And we sure as hell weren’t prepared for a baby, but we’d always wanted kids and had just about given up until we got her.” He was smiling fondly now, looking past you at his daughter. “We fell in love with her, and it was an easy decision to adopt. So, to answer your question—” He met your eyes. “—I didn’t know I was ready to be a dad until after we got the kid. Sometimes, you don’t get a chance to feel ready before it happens, but I’ll tell you, the moment you hold your baby, the instincts kick in fast.”

“That’s good to know.”

“All these questions about parenthood between the two of you.” He nodded his head toward Javi, then you. “Are y’all trying?”

The question had you making a face, wondering why it was socially acceptable to discuss your sex life when it came to reproducing.

“If you must know,” you started, “we’re currently just practicing… A lot. Like practically once a day if we’re in the mood, and I think we’ve got it pretty figured out, especially the unprotected sex part.”

His nose had wrinkled like he smelled something bad, deeply frowning in disgust. “I don’t wanna know that.”

“You asked!”

Javi was suddenly standing in front of you, breathing hard and holding his beer he picked up from the coffee table.

He took a long drink, asking Steve when he finished, “What did you ask her?” He shooed the other man away with his free hand. “Move over.” Steve and Nate scooted to the other side of the couch so your boyfriend could plop down beside you.

Stevie was playing with some toy cars, and Olivia had disappeared.

Javi’s arm went over your shoulders with his side pressed against yours, bringing the brown bottle back up to his lips.

Looking at him, you saw his throat work as he swallowed the beer, rubbing your hand over his jean-clad thigh. “He asked if we’re trying for a baby.”

The liquid must’ve gone down the wrong pipe, your boyfriend making a choked sound and sputtering, it evolving into a coughing fit. You got his arm over your head to lean him forward to pat his back, Steve’s eyes finding yours.

“I swear I don’t do this on purpose,” you said. “I didn’t think it was something he’d react to.”

“Does this happen often?” the blonde man asked, looking both concerned and mildly amused.

“Kinda?” You grimaced. “But not on purpose!” Your attention moved to your boyfriend. “Are you okay, babe?” His coughing had stopped, and he’d set his drink back on the coffee table.

“Yeah,” he hoarsely answered. His head turned in your direction, his eyes red-rimmed and watery. “You’re just as bad as Pop with making me choke.”

“I’m sorry, Javi.” Your hand was gliding up and down his spine. “You know what, from now on, I’m going to stop you from drinking before I say anything.”

“Why don’t you just wait for me to finish drinking?”

“The delivery, babe. Timing is everything for a joke to land or a snappy reply. Don’t wanna throw off my groove.”

He huffed out an amused breath, sitting back up on the couch. “Okay, your plan works.” Leaning forward, he pecked you on the lips before turning his attention to Steve. “We’re trying as much as we can with her on birth control—we go at it like fu-reaking rabbits, and with it only being 99% effective, maybe we’ll be that one in a hundred, and she gets pregnant.”

“I hate you,” Steve said evenly. “I hate you both. All you needed to say was no.”

“Why are you mad?” Javi asked. “You asked about our sex life, and we answered.” He looked over at you. “What did you tell him, mi amor (my love)?”

“That we’re practicing and really good at the unprotected sex part.”

A smirk appeared under his mustache, his eyes sparkling with mischief, and you knew he was just fucking with Steve now. “Yeah, we are really good at it.” His attention went back to the other man. “We told you the truth. Don’t ask questions if the answers are gonna make you uncomfortable.”

Steve’s eyes narrowed as he said, “Everyone else in the world would have answered that question with a simple yes or no. The two of you are perfect for each other with how much you fuc-fudging enjoy messing with me.”

“She’s mi media naranja, my soulmate,” Javi replied. “We are perfect for each other.”

“Uh huh, calm down, Romeo.” Nate was wiggling out of Steve’s arms, and the man helped him climb down from the couch, the child toddling over to play with his brother. “Now I’ve been watching you both since you got here,” he continued, “and anyone with eyes can see how much y’all wanna be parents. You may be a couple-a—” He whispered the next word. “—assholes—” He spoke normally again, “But I think you guys would do a pretty good job at it—that’s just my opinion, though.”

Javi had grabbed your hand and laced your fingers together, giving it a gentle squeeze as happiness seared through your veins.

“Thanks, man,” Javi said.

“You’re welcome, Jav.” Steve grinned, patting him on the shoulder. “You both do know the quickest way to get pregnant is for her to be off birth control, right? Do I need to give you the sex talk? Tell you about the birds and the bees? Explain how babies are made?”

Your boyfriend flipped him off out of view of the children, the other man laughing.

“We know, you—” He lowered his voice so that the kids wouldn’t hear. “—dick—” His volume went back to normal. “We’ve gotta figure out some things before we pull the trigger.”

“And what if you end up being the one in a hundred, and she gets pregnant before you figure those things out?”

Javier’s attention turned to you with a hopeful look, bringing up your joined palms so he could kiss the back of yours.

“We’d be okay,” you answered truthfully, your boyfriend smiling as he set your hands down. “If it happens sooner than we planned, then it happens sooner than we planned, and we’ll be excited no matter what.”

“Yeah,” Javi added. “We will.”

The trip was going better than Javier anticipated, and it was only the first day.

He had a feeling his friends and their children would like his fiancée-to-be, and he’d been correct. The Murphys all loved her to the point that Steve and Connie were on him about marrying her. Now his best friend was saying they’d be good parents, which, when added to Cielito telling him earlier, they might be able to start their family soon. Javier was so happy, he felt like he was on top of the world.

There were two things he wanted more than anything: to marry the woman sitting beside him and to become a father.

As long as she said yes to his proposal, he figured they’d be married within the next six months, depending on what she wanted to do for the wedding. The marriage was pretty much in the bag with all of her reassurances that she'd say yes, but there were still small tendrils of doubt creeping their way into his brain and making him worry if she’d really be wearing an engagement ring the next day.

He stamped down the negative feelings by remembering the times she practiced saying yes to his proposals and, of course, the fact she had already pre-accepted.

With all that in mind, he was sure he could cross off marriage from his list, which made him feel a bit giddy.

The thing that was going to require work was becoming a father.

Even though they both wanted a child, she had, and there wasn’t a better word than stipulations that needed to be met before she wanted to go for it. He both loved and hated how responsible she was being. The list included:

Get help with his mental health.

Get married.

Move into a bigger place.

The first thing he did was start going to therapy, and it had helped a lot over the past months, especially with the Stechner shit. A lot of old wounds had been opened, and it was finally time for Javier to tell the woman he planned to marry about Colombia, finding it cathartic, even with the nightmares he was plagued with for the week after. She was there every time he woke up in a panic and helped calm him down, soothing him with her words and touch.

His therapist had clocked him early on as having PTSD, and at first, he didn’t believe him because guys who fought in wars and did active combat came home with PTSD, not DEA agents doing drug busts and taking down cartels.

Javier’s therapist was a short, stocky, bald man in his sixties with a calming voice who didn’t like to beat around the bush and told it like it was. His response to Javier’s denial was to lay it all out that the war on drugs was still a war, and Javier had been a soldier who witnessed and experienced a lot of horrific PTSD-inducing shit that he needed to work through. He had worked through it, but the incident with Stechner had triggered him and brought it all back. Luckily, he was fine after about a week with help from his therapist and wif-girlfriend.

So, he’d taken care of his mental health, and marriage was on the horizon—that was two out of three.

Moving into a bigger place was where things got tricky.

Initially, they had planned to buy a house, and then his dad gave them the idea to build one on his land, which sounded great, except for how long it would take. They ended up loving the thought of being able to design their dream home and decided that was what they were going to do, and were now working with an architect—everything else was figured out. His tía María’s husband had his own construction business and would be building it, and they found the perfect spot a little down the road from his dad’s house that was close to him but also far enough they’d have privacy where they’d build. Chucho was thrilled they were going to be next-door neighbors.

It was going to take, at minimum, a year for the home to be built.

Javier didn’t want to wait that long to start trying for a baby, so he figured out a way for them to move out of their one-bedroom apartment into someplace bigger while they waited for their house to be finished, and it was living with his father, who was beyond excited by the prospect.

She seemed to be okay with that, and he hoped it was enough for her to give them the green light to start their family, but she wanted to discuss it with Chucho, which he understood. It was just driving him crazy that he was so fucking close, it was within reach, yet he had to wait for her to talk to his dad on Sunday when they were seeing him next.

The sounds of the front door being unlocked and opened made it to where they were, the two small Murphy boys jumping to their feet as they both yelled, “Mom!” They ran from the room.

“I better go help her with the groceries,” Steve said, grunting as he got up from the couch on his long legs and headed for his wife.

It was just Javier and his future wife in the room—they were alone, and immediately he was turning in his seat toward her, dipping his head to kiss and suck at the side of her neck, his hand sliding up her thigh.

“Javi,” she gasped, her fingers tangling into his hair.

She smelled so good, the sweet aroma welcome as his lips trailed up to tug her earlobe between his teeth, his palm resting on her inner thigh, feeling the heat between her legs.

His mouth pressed against her ear, whispering, “I saw how you were watching me playing with the kids—how much you liked it.” She sucked in a breath, and he smiled. “You say the word, and we can have one of our own—I’m more than willing to give you a baby, Cielito.”

“This is rude,” she breathed, pulling his hair.

Javier chuckled, smacking a loud kiss against her cheek.

His hand left her leg to cup her jaw and turned her head to look him in the eyes.

“I’m serious, mi amor (my love),” he said. “You know how fucking badly I want one, and when you’re ready, I’ll make it happen—I wanna prove you right that I can get you pregnant within a month.”

The way her pupils expanded told him his words were getting to her.

“I cannot believe you’re tempting me with your virility, and it’s fucking working,” she whispered, and he grinned. “God, you’re gonna be such a good dad.” There was a slight whine as she quietly spoke. “Our kids are gonna be obsessed with you, and you’re gonna be obsessed with them and me being pregnant and an amazing partner through everything. Like, I am this close—” She held her thumb and index finger so close together they almost touched. “—to saying fuck it, let’s make a baby.” Arousal sparked in his belly. “But then that annoying, overly cautious, responsible part of me cuts in to remind me I need to double-check with your dad that he’s really okay with us living with him—yes, I remember him making the offer months ago—you know I hate being a bother, though, and I’m worried he likes the idea and would hate the reality of living with his son and a pregnant woman that will eventually also include a newborn.” She chewed on her lip.

“His pregnant nuera (daughter-in-law),” Javier corrected. “And he told me he’d love for us to move in just last week. He was already planning on turning the guest room into a nursery when you got pregnant.”

“Oh.” Her eyes widened. “Fuck,” she whispered.

Javier frowned, wondering if she thought the nursery was too much.

“He’s just excited to finally become an abuelo (grandpa), and even if we weren’t moving in, he wanted to make sure he’s got shit for the baby when we visit—he said it’d come in handy ‘cause he’d be happy to babysit anytime we needed him to. And if we do move in with him, he’ll already have a space dedicated to our kid.”

“Right,” she said the word slowly, like she was thinking it over. “Yeah, that’s great he cares so much, and it’s so sweet. We, um, just need to make sure he’s prepared for a newborn, like the crying and all that…”

“He is, and he’ll love having us there with a baby.”

“How do you know?”

“Promise me something,” he said.

Her eyebrows creased. “Okay?”

“Promise me you won’t get sad with what I’m about to tell you.”

“You know I can’t promise that.”

He sighed. “Fine. Promise me you won’t mention it to him.”

“That’s something I can do.”

“Since mi mamá passed away, Pop has been really fucking lonely living in that house alone, but there’s no way in hell he’d ever think about moving. He hates being by himself out there, and he’ll probably work until the day he dies to spend as little time in it as possible.”

Tears were brimming in her eyes. “That’s so fucking sad, Javier.”

“Yeah, and I was a fucking asshole who came home from Colombia twice and fucked off almost as quickly as I arrived.” She was about to say something, and he stopped her by continuing. “He loved when I finally moved back in for good, and he’d love more than anything to have us there with him, including our child—especially our child. You know, just as I do, that he’s gonna love our kid more than us.”

“That’s so true,” she giggled.

He smiled, “Yeah, it is.” Hope felt like a ball in the middle of his chest. “So, uh, does this change your maybe?”

“Tío!” Olivia shouted as she came running into the room, and he sat up in his seat.

“¿Sí, tesorito (Yes, little treasure)?”

She rounded the couch and jumped onto it next to him, sitting on her knees with a big smile, missing some baby teeth. Her brown hair was almost the same color as his, falling in loose curls past her shoulders, her bangs on either side held back by blue flower clips.

“Se me olvidó preguntarte algo (I forgot to ask you something).”

He smiled. “¿Qué querías preguntar (What did you want to ask)?”

“Cuando tú y tu Cielito se casen (When you and your Cielito get married), ¿puedo ser la niña de las flores (can I be the flower girl)?”

It made him pause because it’d be up to his ​​fiancée-to-be how they were going to get married, and he wasn’t sure if they would have a traditional wedding. If they did, pretty much all of the guests would be his friends and family, while she’d have maybe a handful of friends—there wouldn’t be anyone from her family she’d want to invite with how they disliked Javier and thought he wasn’t good enough for her.

He knew Cielito would be okay with his answer before he said it. “Bueno, si tenemos una boda, claro que puedes ser la niña de las flores, y tus hermanos pueden ser los portadores de los anillos (Well, If we have a wedding, of course you can be the flower girl and your brothers can be the ring bearers).”

“Sí (Yes),” the future bride said. “Si tenemos una boda, tú y tus hermanos tienen que estar en ella (If we have a wedding, you and your brothers have to be it).”

“Yes!” the girl shouted, clapping her hands.

Javier leaned forward with a groan to grab his beer and sat back, bringing it to his lips as he took a long pull of the lukewarm drink.

“¿Te vas a casar porque tu novia tiene un bebé en la barriga (Are you getting married because your girlfriend has a baby in her belly)?” Olivia asked.

Beer came spraying out of his mouth as he attempted to cover it with his hand and started coughing.

“Oh, no,” Cielito said, patting him on the back. “I’m gonna go grab some paper towels.” She got up and left, and he saw the liquid from his mouth on the coffee table.

“¿Estás bien (Are you okay)?” the child asked.

He’d stopped coughing, wiping his wet hand on his jeans.

“Sí, estoy bien (Yes, I’m okay),” he answered, looking over at her. “¿Por qué crees que nos vamos a casar porque ella tiene un bebé en la barriga (Why do you think we’re getting married because she has a baby in her belly)...?”

“Oh, tengo un amigo en la escuela y su papá se casó con su niñera porque ella tenía un bebé en su barriga (Oh, I have a friend at school and his dad married his babysitter because she had a baby in her belly).”

Javier’s eyes widened. “Eh, mi Cielito no tiene un bebé en su barriga (Uh, my Cielito doesn’t have a baby in her belly). Nos vamos a casar porque nos amamos como tus padres (We’re getting married because we love each other like your parents).”

At the mention of them, Steve and Connie came into the room with his wif-girlfriend rushing to wipe off the table for the other woman to set down two photo albums, and he’d been given a paper towel to wipe his face with. Nate was in his dad’s arms, and Stevie had walked in by himself, going over to where he’d been playing to pick up a Ninja Turtle action figure.

“We heard Olivia is asking questions,” Steve said, smiling and taking a seat in his recliner with his youngest son. Connie sat down on Olivia’s other side.

The girl turned her attention to her father. “Daddy, they said if they have a wedding, I can be the flower girl, and Stevie and Nate can carry the rings!”

Steve looked at his daughter. “They’re called ring bearers, sweetie.”

She looked confused. “They’d be ring bears?”

The adults all laughed. “No, ring bearers,” he said slower.

“Ring bearers,” she repeated. Her head turned to Javier. “¿Los portadores de los anillos significan (means) ring bearers?”

He smiled, nodding. “Sí, asi es (Yes, that’s right).”

Cielito had gone to throw away the dirty paper towels, including the one he used, and returned a minute later, taking her seat next to him.

“I thought the future Mrs. Javier Peña might like to see some pictures of you through the years,” Connie said. She pointed at the albums. “The top one—” It had a forest green cover. “—has photos from when we lived in Colombia before we adopted Olivia. The majority are Steve and I, but there’s a bunch of Javi, too.”

Cielito leaned forward to look past him at the other woman with a smile. “I’ve seen the pictures you sent to his parents!”

“Oh, yes!” Connie smiled brightly. “I was aware he talked to them weekly, so they knew he was okay, but I wanted them to be able to see it, too.”

“Thank you, Connie,” he whispered, his throat feeling tight at his friend caring about his parents so much.

“You’re welcome, Javi.” She patted his knee. Stevie was trying to climb into her lap, and she helped him up. “I loved talking to them—your mother was wonderful, and I was sad when she passed away.” Sadness laced her tone. “I wished we could’ve gone to the funeral, but we didn’t have documents for Olivia yet to take her out of Colombia. I still talk to your dad every once in a while—not as often now that you’re back in Texas, and he doesn’t need me keeping an eye on you.”

His head snapped toward her. “You talked to my parents? How in all these years didn’t I know you talked to them and still talk to my dad?”

Neither of his parents had ever mentioned being in contact with Connie, aside from his father saying she sent them pictures of Javier while he was in South America.

A sad smile was on her face. “Your mother swore me to keep it a secret.”

“My mom?” he said the words so quietly.

“Yes. Your mother was a very smart woman and used the number you gave her to your office in case of emergencies to get a hold of Steve so she could get our home phone number and call me. She just wanted to make sure you were okay, and I understood where she was coming from as a mother—I didn’t have kids at the time, but even then, I knew if my baby was on another continent, I would’ve done the same thing, and it really was no problem. As I’ve said, I loved talking to your parents.”

His eyes were burning with unshed tears at the lengths his parents went to in order to check up on him. Cielito took the beer from his hand and put it on the table so she could tangle her fingers with his, cuddling into his side, and he was thankful for the comfort.

Javier was a terrible son.

He put his parents through so much over the years, and what for?

What did he accomplish?

Yeah, he helped bring down Pablo Escobar and got the Cali Cartel fuckers, but like some mythical monster, you cut off one head, and two take its place—they took down Escobar and the Medellín cartel, and before they knew it, Cali and others had taken over.

It was a never-ending cycle: wash, rinse, repeat.

He’s known it since he made the decision to resign from the DEA: The War on Drugs would never end. From his current job as a drug enforcement consultant, he knew that sentiment was confirmed with the rise of the Mexican cartels becoming major players.

Wash, rinse, repeat.

And all of this showing him he wasted years of his life fighting an unwinnable fight and causing his parents nothing but pain and misery. He was their only son, su bendición (their blessing), and he’d risked his life so many fucking times for what? It felt like it was all for nothing.

Not when he thought about the precious time he lost with his mother, or his father living in that old house all alone, or how he wasn’t getting to start his family until now and really love his life.

Years wasted.

Shame, regret, and remorse were heavy in his head and heart, and he wished he could apologize to his mother—he needed her forgiveness and his father’s, too.

“I appreciate that, Connie.” Getting the words out around the lump in his throat was hard. “I, um, I’ll be back.”

“Are you okay?” Cielito asked, concern evident on her face when he met her eyes.

“Yeah,” he answered, untangling their hands. “I’m okay.” He attempted a reassuring smile that she didn’t believe one bit. “Look at the pictures, baby, and I’ll be right back.”

Her mouth was turned down in a deep frown. “Okay.”

Without another word, he got up and quickly went through the dining room to the hallway, heading for the guest bedroom.

He didn’t lock the door once he was inside.

He didn’t want to worry Cielito more than she already was.

His cell phone was on top of the dresser, and he picked it up, the numbers glowing green as he pressed the number to speed dial his dad.

Ring.

Ring.

Ring.

Ring.

Click.

The recorded message started playing, hearing his mother’s accented voice say in English, “You have reached the Peña residence—” Tears began falling down his cheeks. “We’re sorry we could not make it to the phone right now. Please leave your name and number, and we will get back to you. Thank you!”

Beep.

Javier cleared his throat, the emotion making his words come out thick, “Hey Pop, it’s me, Javi. You’re probably working—” He checked his watch, seeing it was a little after three in Laredo. “—Yeah, you’re working. Uh, we made it to Miami safe, and everyone loves mi Cielito. We knew they would. Um—” He took a deep breath, pacing slowly back and forth. “—I know I’ve apologized before, but I’m so fucking sorry for being gone for so long and making you and mi mamá worry so much. Connie told me about talking to you guys and I,” his voice cracked on the one syllable. He cleared his throat again. “I feel like shit for what I put you through, and I just hope you and mamá can forgive me for all of the pain I caused. I hate that I wasted so many years away from you both that I can’t get back. I’ll—” More tears were falling down his cheeks. “—never see or talk to my mom again, and I miss her so fucking much. I wish I could tell her I’m so close to starting my family. Cielito just wants to talk to you first about us moving in—”

“Javi?” His dad answered the phone, and Javier stopped moving, standing still. “¿Qué pasa (What’s wrong)?” He sounded concerned. “Acabo de entrar y te escuché hablar de tu mamá (I just came inside and heard you talking about your mom).”

“Hola, Pop (Hi, Pop). Perdóname por molestarte (I’m sorry for bothering you).”

“No me estás molestando, Mijo (You’re not bothering me, Mijo). Dime qué pasa (Tell me what’s wrong).”

Javier inhaled deeply and slowly let it out. “He sido un hijo terrible (I’ve been a terrible son).”

“¿De qué hablas (What are you talking about)? Eres un hijo maravilloso y estoy muy orgulloso de ti (You’re a wonderful son and I’m very proud of you). Tu madre también estaba mui orgullosa de ti (Your mother was very proud of you, too).”

“No, no lo soy (No, I’m not). Te preocupé tanto que tenías a Connie vigilándome (I worried you so much that you had Connie watching me).”

“Ella no te estaba vigilándo (She wasn’t watching you). Ella solo nos ponía al día sobre cómo estabas (She was just updating us on how you were doing).”

“Todavía te preocupé lo suficiente como para que mi mamá le pidiera que hiciera eso (I still worried you enough that my mom asked her to do that).”

His dad huffed out a breath. “Javi, te acuerdas bien como era tu madre (Javi, you remember your mother). Ella era sobreprotectora contigo (She was overprotective of you). Llamaba a Connie de vez en cuando cuando estabas en Miami y me aseguraba de que estabas bien porque ya tenía su número de teléfono (I called Connie from time to time when you were in Miami and made sure you were okay because I already had her phone number). No eres un hijo terrible (You are not a terrible son). Eres trabajador, comprometido, testarudo, pero no terrible (You’re hardworking, committed, stubborn, but not terrible).”

He spoke quietly. “¿Me perdonas por todo (Will you forgive me for everything)?”

His father sighed. “Mijo, no hay nada de que perdonarte, pero si te hace sentir mejor, sí, te perdono, y tu madre te perdona también (Mijo, there is nothing to forgive you for, but if it makes you feel better, yes, I forgive you, and your mother forgives you, too). Ahora, ¿qué decías acerca de comenzar tu familia en el contestador automático (Now, what were you saying about starting your family on the answering machine)?”

The sudden change of topic made Javier chuckle, his free hand wiping at his wet cheeks. “Of course, that caught your attention.”

“Yes, it did.” The smile was clear in his voice. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay first. Am I finally getting my nietos (grandchildren) soon?”

Javier smiled. “I’ll say it was a great idea to bring her here where there are a bunch of kids—she needs reassurance from you that you’re really okay with us moving in while the house is being built and won’t mind a baby. I think the plan is to talk to you in person at my birthday dinner,” he sighed.

“Of course, I won’t mind a baby!” It was obvious he was excited. “Mi primer nieto (My first grandchild)! I’ve already told you I’d love to have you all here! I’ll have your primos (cousins) start helping me clear out the guest room this weekend so I can begin working on the nursery. This is the best news! Are you sure she doesn’t want to talk to me right now?”

He turned to look at the closed door and was tempted to take the phone to her.

“She’s out in the living room with the family looking at pictures of me.” His fingers slid through his hair. “If I can convince her to talk with you over the phone, I’ll give you a call.”

“I’ll stay home from work for the next two days, just in case.”

“You don’t have to do that. We can leave a message, and you can call us back.”

“No, I need to be here to answer the call. It’s important.”

His eyes were watering at his father’s love for them. “Thank you, Pop.”

“No, thank you, Mijo. I can’t wait to have you all here. Go convince her to call me—I’m not getting any younger.”

Javier laughed. “Okay, okay, I’ll do my best.”

“And you better call me when you propose.”

His mouth was turned up in a smile. “You’ll be the first person to know.”

“Good. Javi?”

“Yeah, Pop?”

“I love you, Mijo, and I’m truly proud of the man you are today. I can’t wait to watch you become the incredible husband and father I know you will be.” Javier couldn’t stop the tears, his throat feeling like it was closing up. “Your mamá might be gone, but I know wherever she is, she’s happy her son has found so much love and happiness. It’s all we ever wanted for you. We love you, Javiercito.”

“I love you, too.”

“Now, go work on making me an abuelo and tell mi nuera (daughter-in-law) I love her, too.”

He chuckled. “I’ll tell her. Bye, Pop.”

“Bye, Mijo.”

The call ended, and he put the phone back on the dresser and walked into the en suite to stand at the sink. The skin on his cheeks was glistening in the lights of the bathroom, his eyes red-rimmed, and his nose a little runny.

No matter how many times he apologized to his father for his past sins, it never felt like it was enough—it would never feel like it was enough. He knew his father forgave him long ago, and with how much he’s groveled, he’s become a broken record.

If he really thought about it and looked deep down into why he felt the need to apologize so much, it was because he hadn’t forgiven himself. He wasn’t even sure what it would take to forgive himself. It was obvious his dad was tired of him apologizing and wanted him to focus on his future.

His future.

Cielito was his future.

Their children were his future.

A memory came to him of their second date, hearing the woman he was going to marry clearly in his brain:

“...you feel like you need to atone for everything you’ve done, but you really don’t. You’ve done enough, more than enough. The past hurts, but you can either run from it or learn from it…”

When he first got back from Colombia, he ran; he hid away here in Miami with his friends and their family until he got scared he was going to lose his dad and went home. That was when it hit him: he didn’t want to waste any more time away from his father, and he finally stayed. The most important thing to him now was his family: his dad, Cielito, and their future children; they were what mattered.

One day, he’d forgive himself, and he had a feeling it’d happen when he finally had a parent’s perspective…

Turning on the faucet, he splashed some water on his face, drying it off with a small towel he got from underneath the sink. Any sign he’d been crying had been washed away, and he made his way back to the living room feeling a little lighter and determined to keep his focus on moving forward—engagement, marriage, children.

He found his future wife had moved over on the couch to sit closer to Olivia and Connie with a photo album open on her lap and angled for the other two to see, the older women having a conversation. Stevie stood on the couch next to his mom, pretending his Ninja Turtle action figure was walking on the back of the sofa and on Connie’s head, quietly talking to himself. His little blue eyes landed on Javier, and he smiled.

“Tío’s back!” he shouted.

Javier smiled back. “I am, buddy.”

The women paused, Cielito’s head turning to watch as he walked around the couch to sit beside her.

Immediately, she leaned into him and whispered, “Are you okay?”

He rubbed circles over her spine. “Yeah,” he answered. “Pop says he loves you.”

Realization dawned on her, and he could tell she worked out he’d gotten upset over what Connie had revealed and needed to talk to his father.

She softly smiled. “Hopefully, he knows I love him, too.”

A small smile turned up on his lips. “He knows.”

“Good.”

Her attention went back to Connie. “Sorry,” she said. “So, Texas has a lot of nursing opportunities, and I was over being in a big city—I did my schooling at a university in a somewhat big city, too—I looked into other places around the state hiring and interviewed at a bunch, and out of the offers I got, I liked Laredo the best.”

“I bet the smaller hospital is a breath of fresh air,” Connie replied.

“It is! And working in the ED (Emergency Department) in Dallas was exhilarating until it got exhausting and depressing.”

A solemn look was on the other woman’s face. “I know exactly what you mean. If you think it’s bad here, in Colombia, it’s much worse, and drove me to switch to L & D (Labor and Delivery) when I came back to Miami.”

“I can imagine, based on what I’ve heard. I actually thought about going into L & D, too, but I was offered the PACU position in Laredo.”

“What does PACU mean?” he asked.

Both women looked over at him, saying in unison, “Post Anesthesia Care Unit.”

“Oh, okay…”

“I haven’t understood half the stuff they’ve been talking about,” Steve said. “Connie’s having the time of her life being able to talk shop with someone.”

She looked at her husband. “Let me enjoy this. It’s nice being able to talk to someone outside of work who understands.”

“Hey, I’m happy for you, baby,” Steve replied, holding up a hand in a placating gesture. “Now I know what you feel like listening to Jav and me talking about work.”

“Exactly.” She faced his fianceé-to-be again, smiling. “I love helping bring new little lives into the world and teaching new parents how to care for their babies—most of the time, my job is wonderful. I’m sure Javi hasn’t told you, but remind me to tell you the story about Nate later.”

The tale of how Steve and Connie got Nathaniel wasn’t fucked up like his sister’s; it was just sad.

The youngest Murphy’s birth mother, was a girl not even out of high school, who came to the hospital alone and left alone. She brought no identification with her and refused to give her real name, telling people to call her Sam—the girl had been scared out of her mind, so Connie stayed with her the entire time and discovered she had hidden the pregnancy from her family because if they found out, she would’ve been disowned and thrown out on the street. Sam had begged Connie over and over again for her to find her baby a loving home, that she did love him and wished she could keep him, but they wouldn’t have anywhere to live if she did, and that she wanted him to have a good life.

His mother only held him once, right after she’d given birth, and refused to give him a name.

Connie was the one to take the baby to the nursery to have him measured, weighed and to take his vitals. When she returned, the new mother was gone—she vanished. Security couldn’t find her, and with how quickly she disappeared, Connie suspected a friend or her boyfriend picked her up.

Over the years, Steve and Connie had wanted a third kid, however, they struggled with getting pregnant and had to get help from doctors in order to have Stevie. So, when Connie found herself spending more and more time in the nursery with the tiny, abandoned newborn, she realized he was the third child they’d been hoping for, and her husband was fine with bringing him home—they both agreed on naming him Nathaniel Samuel Murphy.

“I will,” Cielito said.

Out of the three children, Nate was the most easy-going of the bunch. He was content to sit cuddled in his father’s lap, sipping on his sippy cup of water and watching everyone else in the room with his big, dark eyes.

“Mommy?” Stevie was patting his mother’s shoulder as he got her attention.

“Yes, baby?” She looked over at him.

“I want juice.”

“How do we ask for things?”

“Can I have juice, pleeeeassse?” he drew out the last word.

“Okay, let’s go get some juice.”

Nate’s cup left his mouth as he said, “Juice?”

“You want some juice, too, kiddo?” Steve asked him, bending to kiss his hair.

“Juice!” the toddler exclaimed.

His dad chuckled. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

“Can I have a Capri Sun?” Olivia asked.

“Of course, honey,” Connie answered.

Steve groaned as he got up from the chair with Nathaniel still in his arms. “Murphys report to the kitchen for juice!” he said.

“Yay!” Stevie yelled, getting down from the couch and running out of the room.

“Y’all want anything?” Steve asked Javier and his future wife.

“I’m good,” he responded.

“I’m good, too,” Cielito added.

His friend nodded and followed his wife and daughter to the kitchen.

“Thank god, we’re alone,” Cielito whispered, flipping through the pages, looking for a specific picture. “I need to ask you about something.”

He didn’t even know what pictures were in this album since he’d never seen it before and was curious about what caught her attention.

“What is it?”

She found what she was looking for, moving in her seat to show him a page with a picture of him holding a bulky satellite phone to his ear, his other hand flipping off Steve, who was taking the picture.

He couldn’t even remember when it was taken. The sleeves were rolled up on his maroon button-up shirt to bare his forearms, and he was wearing an army green tac vest over it, the bulge from the tightness of his dark wash jeans showing he was dressing to the left while his aviators were on—he could admit he looked pretty good.

“Do you have one of these at your office?” she asked.

“One of what?”

“The vest thingy.” She pointed at it.

“The tac vest?”

He met her eyes, seeing her smiling. “Yeah. Do you still have one?”

“No.” He shook his head. “I don’t see any action and don’t need one.”

Her shoulders slumped, frowning, and he perked up at the reaction.

“Can you… get one?” She chewed on her bottom lip, and he smirked.

His voice went lower. “You like the vest that much?”

“This whole look.” She circled the photo with her finger. “The clothes, your grumpy face, the vest—it’s awakened something in me, and I need to, um, see it in person for reasons…” Her eyes darted away.

He leaned in closer, gently taking her chin between two fingers to make her look at him as he quietly rasped, “Are the reasons for me to fuck you looking like this?”

“Yes,” she breathed.

“In that case, I’ll borrow one from work and bring it home.” He winked.

“God, I love you.” The album was left in her lap, her upper body twisting in his direction, pressing her fingers into his hair as her lips crashed against his. His arm wrapped around her back, the other hand holding her cheek, kissing her hard.

He was more than happy to wear whatever she wanted—he was always happy to wear what she wanted, and this look wouldn’t be too hard to replicate. His mind was playing out them doing a scene where he stripped her of her clothes and ‘searched’ her, which would end with him bending her over and fucking her…

“Oh, gross!” Olivia shouted.

They separated so quickly you’d think they were burned.

“Gross!” Stevie echoed, not knowing what was going on.

“What were they doing?” their father asked as he walked into the room holding a new beer, Connie behind him with Nate in her arms, the toddler holding a green sippy cup.

The oldest of the children had walked around to sit on the opposite side of the couch to them, drinking from a yellow straw in a silver pouch. Stevie had a red cup that matched his brother’s and came to Javier, who picked him up to sit on his thigh.

The straw left the girl’s mouth, her face contorted in disgust. “They were kissing.”

“That is gross,” Steve said, taking a seat in his recliner, and Connie sitting on the other side of Javier’s soon-to-be-fianceé.

He sighed.

“Oh, stop that, Steve,” his wife scolded.

“Yes, dear,” his friend replied.

Nathaniel wiggled away from his mother to sit in his big sister’s lap, Olivia putting an arm around his middle while her other hand held her juice and it warmed Javier’s heart that they clearly had a bond—it made him happy they all had bonded and loved each other.

Connie’s head turned in the direction of Javier and Cielito. “Do you want to look at the other album since we finished the Colombia one?”

“Sure!” Cielito answered, closing the album in her lap, leaning forward to put it on the coffee table, and grabbing the other.

“You know, Jav,” Steve started, meeting his eyes, a brown beer bottle held in his hand on the recliner’s arm. “I once said you were gonna be a lifer with the DEA, and I’m glad I was wrong.”

He could recall when Steve had said that, and at the time, he agreed, his work was his life, and he didn’t think he could ever leave his job—he never fathomed it. Interestingly, the longer he worked there, the more disillusioned he became until he realized all of it was pointless, and he finally resigned. He just wished he would’ve figured things out earlier.

“I think being domesticated suits you better,” his friend continued. “You sure as heck are happier, and isn’t that all that matters?” He raised his beer before taking a drink.

“Yeah,” Javier said. “This life is definitely better.”

“Most of the pictures in this album are of Olivia because it’s one we have of her and before we had the boys,” Connie told them, bringing his attention to the open photo album on Cielito’s thighs. “But it was during a time when Javi stayed with us for a while, so he’s in there.”

Steve had turned the television onto a cartoon channel with the volume not too loud for the kids while they flipped through pages of pictures of Olivia, who was about five years old in them, and Connie telling them stories behind some of them. Stevie leaned back against his chest, holding his sippy cup to his mouth while watching the TV. The first photo Javier appeared in, they were at the zoo, and it was taken from the side, the grinning little girl on his white, button-up-covered shoulders with him pointing at something, his head turned and tilted up as he talked to her, his eyes shielded behind his sunglasses.

There were more pictures of them at the zoo, some from different beach trips, and a lot at the Murphys' home, Javier smiling and laughing in many of them.

They were looking at one Connie clearly took of him and Steve standing in the ocean up to their stomachs, across from each other, laughing, while Olivia was mid-air between them, having been thrown by one man to the other when Cielito looked at him.

“I’m really mad that your dad doesn’t have any of these and that you made me cry the first time I met him because the only pictures he had of you as an adult were of you miserable in Colombia. Where were these, Javier? All the smiles and laughs!”

He grimaced. “I didn’t know they existed…” That was the truth. Sure, he knew his friends had taken photos, but he always assumed they were of their kids. He didn’t realize they included him in so many.

Her eyes narrowed. “Uh huh, right, then explain this!”

She went back a few pages to a picture she had proclaimed was her favorite a little while ago—he was wearing a light blue button-up and jeans, a bright pink feather boa wrapped around his neck, and silver tiara on his head, looking like a hulking figure sitting on the tiny child-size chair at the tiny child-size table. Olivia was sitting across from him in a pink frilly dress and gold tiara, holding an itty bitty teacup, another three in front of her guests on the table, the other two seats occupied by a teddy bear and a The Little Mermaid Ariel Barbie.

What the woman he was going to marry found hilarious was he was dressed like that with his knees practically against his chest and was trying to look menacing as he glared at the camera with a hand up to hide from the little girl that he was giving the bird to the person taking the picture.

“You obviously knew they were taking this picture of you!” She poked it hard.

“Sure.” He shrugged. “But I figured Steve was just taking it to give me shi-crap later. I seriously didn’t know about the others.”

“Fine.” She looked at the other woman. “I really am going to need a copy of this if it won’t be too much trouble.”

Connie smiled. “I’ve got a duplicate somewhere. I’d just have to look, and I’ll send it your way.”

“You are amazing. Thank you so much! Are there, um, any pictures of Javi with the boys as babies…?”

Javier’s ears perked, his heart speeding up, hoping they did.

“That’s a great idea,” Steve said. “We gotta show her the photos of Javi with Stevie, Con.”

His best friend winked at him, and he decided at that moment he was going to make a run to the liquor store later to buy Steve an expensive bottle of top-shelf whiskey for being his wingman.

Connie frowned, her head turning to her husband. “But I haven’t put them in an album… They’re all loose.”

“That’s fine,” Cielito said a little too quickly, making him grin that she wanted to see him with a baby so badly.

“Yeah, Connie,” Javier added. “We don’t mind.”

“Oh, alright,” she said. “I’ll put these albums away.” She took the one his future wife held and closed it, getting up and grabbing the other on the table. “And I’ll get the other pictures. Be back in a jiffy.” She left the room.

Cielito looked at him, leaning in to whisper in his ear. “Is this a bad idea?”

“For your self-control?” he replied just as quietly, parroting back what she’d said earlier in the day. “Yes. For me getting that thing I want really bad? No. I think it’s a great idea.”

“Of course you do.”

He frowned, something in the back of his mind needing him to ask the next question.

“Am I pushing too much? Do you need more time?”

She pulled back to meet his eyes, her voice quiet enough for only him to hear.

“The first question, no. You’re just excited. The second, yes and no. I’ll talk to you about it later.”

“Okay,” he nodded.

“Oh.” A surprised look came over her face before she was looking to her other side. Javier leaned forward to see what got her attention and found Nate had crawled over and was sitting on his knees with his sippy cup in one hand and the other on her arm, clearly asking to be picked up. “Hi, buddy,” she said, immediately lifting him and getting him situated so he was half cradled in her arm and sitting in her lap, his curious eyes staring up at her face and tiny chubby hand reaching to touch it while he drank from his cup. “Hi, there,” she cooed, gently rubbing the arm he had held up. “I’m your tío’s girlfriend—”

“You’re his tía,” Javier corrected, feeling so soft at watching her interact with the little one he feared he might dissolve into a puddle.

“Sorry, I’m your tía, and you’re a cutie pie.” She softly poked him in the belly.

“Daddy,” Olivia said. “Look, Nate likes tía!” She was pointing at them beside her.

“He sure does, baby girl,” her father replied. “Isn’t that something?”

Stevie wanted to be a part of what was going on and moved to look into Cielito’s arms, letting his cup fall into Javier’s lap. “Nate likes tía!” The three-year-old hugged her arm. “I like tía, too.” Javier sucked in a breath. “She makes yummy cookies.”

“I like you, too, Stevie,” she told him, and Javier ruffled the boy’s dirty blonde hair, making him laugh. “And I, of course, like you, also, Olivia.” She glanced over at the girl. “I’m excited that you’re gonna be a paleontologist one day so you can show me real dinosaur bones.”

“I will!” The girl nodded, grinning.

He loved seeing her holding the toddler and talking to the other children, unable to keep the smile off his face as he watched and imagined what she’d look like with their own baby. Her answer to if she needed more time worried him a little, and he hoped they could talk about it soon so he knew what she meant. He was ready—more than ready, but he didn’t want to rush her if she wasn’t, and they’d figure this all out later.

Looking at pictures of Javi with a baby Stevie was absolutely a bad idea.

And it wasn’t like you hadn’t seen him holding a baby before; he had a lot of cousins, many of whom had children under the age of two, that you’ve seen him interact with, and always caused you to have the same reaction of feeling like your ovaries were going to explode.

But these loose photos were on a different level.

He went through the stack of pictures that had combinations of Stevie with his sister, parents, and Javi, the latter being the ones you were most interested in—seeing Javi feeding the baby in his high chair, your future husband sitting in a rocking chair with Stevie cradled in his arm as he held a bottle, one of him on the couch with the baby in the crook of his arm and Olivia on his other side while he read them a children’s book, a photo of Javi passed out on the sofa with a protective hand on Stevie asleep on top of him, a candid shot of the man you were going to marry playing peek-a-boo with the baby, and the one that made your breath catch in your throat was Javi standing with Stevie strapped to his chest as he carried Olivia in his arm like it was no big deal.

There were others, and along with the pictures you saw earlier in the album, each and every one was like a glimpse into your future, showing you the type of doting, loving father he was going to be. What had heat crawling up your neck and heart racing was if this was what he was like with kids he considered his niece and nephew, then most likely he’d be like that but times a thousand with his own children.

He was going to be such a good dad.

Why had he ever thought he didn’t deserve to be one? Or that he’d be a bad father?

The thought that your future kids would be so loved made your eyes burn. They were going to have two parents who loved them all so much, and there wouldn’t be any favorites.

Seeing all of these photos and watching Javi interact with the Murphy kids—Stevie was sitting with him and pointing at the pictures, excitedly saying who was in them while the man you loved softly encouraged him and told him what a good job he was doing—had that ancient, primal part of your brain acting up again, this time screaming in the back of your mind that you’ve found the perfect mate to father your children, and it wasn’t wrong; it was exciting and really revving your engines.

There was just one teeny, tiny problem.

Obviously, Javi was jonesing to get going on the babymaking and had even gone so far as to figure out a place to live while your house was being built. You’d think with that problem solved and the assurance you’d be married before a baby was born, you’d be ready to go for it. Well, as much as you wanted a child, you were a little scared about the prospect of being pregnant and pushing a tiny human out of your vagina. You were a nurse, you knew the odds were in your favor that you’d be okay, but you were a nurse, and you also knew the things that could go wrong—Javier’s difficult birth that almost took his mother, coming to mind.

When it was something that was going to happen in the near future, everything was fine, and you were excited about starting your family; however, now that it was on your doorstep with your boyfriend banging on the door, you were kind of freaking out. You should’ve talked to Javi about this earlier when you were having your doubts and needed his reassurance, but at that point, you didn’t know his dad had already given the okay for you guys to move in.

The current climate in your head was that you loved the idea of having a baby with Javi and finally making him a father; looking at all of the pictures and watching him with the children was really doing it for you, and you couldn’t wait to be alone together later that night. The reality of actually going through with it and getting pregnant, carrying a child, and giving birth made you feel uneasy.

It was very confusing to want something yet be scared of it at the same time.

Javi stuffed the photos back into the big envelope the drug store put them in after they developed the film, setting it on the coffee table when he was done.

“Thank you for letting us look at all those pictures,” you said to Connie beside you with a smile. “It was nice seeing Javi so happy with the kids.”

Nate held your thumb in his little hand while his attention was on the television where cartoons played. Stevie was talking to Javi about something you weren’t paying attention to.

“You’re welcome.” She patted your knee. “When we still lived in Colombia, I swear the only time I ever saw Javi smile was when he held Olivia or played with her. He’d buy her toys, and when he’d come over for dinner, he’d take her for a bit to give me a breather. I’m not saying he was as playful and happy as he is now, but there was a difference between the Javi we knew and the Javi Olivia knew, which is still kinda true today.”

“Yeah, he’s sweeter with the kids.”

“And you.”

“And me,” you giggled.

“Just so you know,” Steve started. “Our kids could use some cousins—especially some bilingual ones. We want the boys to be fluent in Spanish like their sister, and it’d be nice for them to have more people to talk to.”

“Because you didn’t bother learning Spanish while living in a Spanish-speaking country for how many years?” Javi asked.

“Hey! I speak enough of it to get by.”

Javi leaned forward to look at the other end of the couch. “Olivia, ¿qué tan malo es tu papá para hablar español (How bad is your dad at speaking Spanish)?”

She grinned. “Él es muy malo (He’s very bad). Él apesta (He stinks).” She plugged her nose with her fingers.

“Hey!” Steve exclaimed again. “You guys know it’s against the rules to talk shit about me in Spanish.”

“Daddy said a bad word!” Stevie gasped. “That’s a bad word.”

The blonde man’s eyes widened. “Oh, sorry, kiddo. Daddy didn’t mean to say that.”

“It’s a dollar in the swear jar, Dad,” Olivia said.

The swear jar was a big pickle jar they repurposed that sat on top of their fridge and was filled halfway with a mix of green bills and loose change.

“I’ll put it in there when I get up,” he sighed.

“You lost a dollar, and you don’t even know what we said,” Javi said, looking a little too delighted.

Steve was frowning, his eyes narrowed. “I know malo means bad, and the two of you were making fun of my Spanish.”

“¿Él realmente sabe o lo está adivinando (Does he really know that, or is he guessing)?” you asked the other two Spanish speakers.

“Él probablemente podría entender algo de lo que dijimos, pero creo que en la mayor parte, está adivinando (He could probably understand some of what we said, but I think for the most part, he’s guessing),” Javi answered.

“Solo entiende el español muy básico (He only understands very basic Spanish),” Olivia said. “Es muy gracioso (It’s really funny). Tío y yo podemos hablar de cualquier cosa y papá y mamá no entienden lo que estamos diciendo (Uncle and I can talk about anything and dad and mom don’t understand what we’re saying).”

“Oh god, Connie,” Steve said. “Now there’s three of them talking about us while we’re right here.”

“From what I’ve gathered, it’s just about how we don’t understand much, and I don’t think anything bad…” Connie replied.

“You’re right, Connie,” you told her. Looking between Javi and Olivia, you asked, “A ustedes dos les encanta hacer esto para volverlos locos, ¿no (You two love doing this to drive them crazy, don’t you)?”

“Sí (Yes),” they answered in unison with big smiles.

It was adorable.

“Y su papá tuvo tiempo más que suficiente para aprender el idioma, así que es su culpa que aún no lo entiende (And her dad had more than enough time to learn the language, so it’s his fault he still doesn’t understand it). Traté de enseñarle (I tried to teach him),” Javi said.

“Van a odiar cuando sus tres hijos hablen en un idioma que no entienden (They are going to hate when their three children speak in a language they don’t understand),” you replied.

“No puedo esperar (I can’t wait).”

“Estoy emocionado de que mis hermanos aprendan (I’m excited for my brothers to learn),” Olivia said. “Será como si tuviéramos un lenguaje secreto (It will be like we have a secret language).”

You looked at her, switching to English, “That will be really cool. Do you want to learn any other languages?”

“Ummm, I don’t know.” She shrugged.

“And that’s okay.”

Connie looked at the watch on her wrist. “Gosh, I better get started on making dinner.”

“Do you need help?” you asked.

Her eyes met yours. “Oh, no, I couldn’t ask you to help. You’re on vacation and were sweet to make cookies with our kids.”

“I insist,” you said. Turning your head to Javi, you continued, “Hey, babe?”

“Yeah?”

“Can you take Nate? I’m gonna help Connie make dinner.”

“Yeah.” His attention went to the toddler sitting with him. “I gotta move you, bud.” As he said, he moved Stevie to his other knee, then easily took Nate from you, who was so engrossed in the TV that he didn’t make a sound of protest.

For dinner that evening, Connie was making spaghetti. You followed her into the kitchen, making small talk before she showed you what the sides would be. You offered to make the salad, getting set up at the counter with a cutting board, knife, box grater, and all of the veggies—romaine lettuce, tomatoes, cucumber, and a long carrot (no onions because the kids hated them).

There was a lull in your conversation while you diced a tomato, the salad bowl already containing the chopped lettuce, and Connie was in the process of browning the the meat for the sauce.

The last thing she said was that she bet Javi would keep the two boys occupied for maybe another ten minutes before they wandered into the kitchen to find her. You thought it was adorable, making you wonder if your future children would love you that much, leading you to think about how ready Javi was to start a family and your slight hang-up.

“Hey, Connie?” You kept cutting the tomato.

“Yes?”

“Can I ask you a kinda personal question? I, um, don’t have many friends who’ve given birth, and my relationship with my mother is a joke, so I’m hoping you could give me some insight…”

The meat had finished cooking, and she added canned tomato sauce, tomato paste, and seasonings with a bit of water.

She put a lid over the pan as it simmered and turned to face you. “Ask me anything, honey.”

You smiled, beginning to dice the next tomato. “Okay, were you scared at all about any aspect of pregnancy or childbirth?”

“Oh, yeah. It’s pretty common. I see it all the time in L & D. With mine, I had a lot of fear while I was pregnant because I was so worried something was gonna happen to the baby—we had trouble conceiving. Are you scared?”

“Yes,” you sighed.

“About which part?”

“All of it…”

“Well, here’s what I’m gonna tell you: it’s weird as hell to have a human growing inside of you, but the moment you register it’s your baby—your child, everything kinda changes, and you fall in love with this tiny person. You’ll worry about their health, you’re probably gonna feel like shit, and childbirth is scary, but I’m telling you, when you get to the point you’re ready to pop, you’re gonna want them to get that baby out of you as quickly as possible. And all of it is worth it when you finally get to hold that little human you shared your body with for nine months. Except, it’s really freaking annoying when you do 99.9% of the work, and the baby comes out looking exactly like their father. What’s up with that?”

She sounded so annoyed, and it made you laugh.

“I would actually love it if our kid was a little Javi clone,” you said, glancing over at her. “I’ve seen pictures of him growing up; he was a cutie.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I think my husband is extremely attractive, and I know I’m lucky, but it feels like a betrayal that I grew this baby from nothing, and he got none of my genes—not even my eyes!” She threw up her arms. “The only baby I will ever have, and he’s mini-Steve, which, just so you know, we picked out his name before he was born.”

“You jinxed yourself,” you giggled. “He took Steven Murphy Jr. literally. Ooh, I wonder if we’re ever having a boy if Javi would agree to name him Javier Jr.”

“Since you’re fine if he comes out as a mini-Javi, you should go for it. How cute would it be if our minis were best friends?”

“God, that would be so cute.”

Just the thought had you feeling soft.

“Still scared, sweetie?” she asked.

You smiled. “I guess no more than I should be and a bit nervous, but you made me feel way better about everything. Thank you, Connie.”

“You’re welcome, and know I’m here if you have any more questions or just need to talk—Javi’s family, and that makes you family, too.”

Looking over at her, emotion was making your throat feel tight. “You don’t know how much I appreciate that.”

All that Connie said really had helped you feel better, knowing it was normal to have some fear, and like she said, in the end, it would all be worth it when you finally got to hold your baby.

As the mother predicted, the two toddlers arrived in the kitchen, Stevie’s steps more sure-footed than Nate’s toddling, the youngest going straight to grabbing Connie’s leg.

Javi followed them in, and you weren’t sure if he was just ensuring they’d gone to find their mom or if he wanted to see you, but with how his arms wrapped around your middle from behind, and he kissed just below your ear, you thought it was probably both.

Nathaniel was on Connie’s hip as she cooked, the woman not hindered by holding a child.

“What are you doing?” Stevie asked as he stood beside you, looking up.

“I’m making a salad,” you answered.

“Can I see, pleeeasssee?”

“Uh.” There was no way you could use a knife or the grater while holding a wiggly kid, and it seemed a bit dangerous, but he was staring up at you with those big round blue eyes, and you didn’t want to tell him no.

“I’ll show you, buddy,” Javi said, moving to bend over with a wheeze to pick up the toddler and straighten. He stepped away from where you were working so the child couldn’t reach but could still see what you were doing. The man pointed at your chopping board. “She’s cutting up a tomato.”

At him saying that you went back to finishing dicing the second tomato, quickly working the knife in practiced motions.

“What color is the tomato?” he asked Stevie in a gentle tone.

“Red!” the little one answered.

“Good job. Red is my favorite color. What’s your favorite color?”

“Blue! My blankie’s blue.”

“It is.”

“You like red.”

“I do.”

You finished the tomato and grabbed the cucumber.

“What’s that?” Stevie asked, pointing at it.

“A cucumber,” Javi answered.

“What’s that?” he asked again, looking at the man holding him this time.

“A vegetable. They’re yummy. Do you want to try it?”

It was killing you how cute their conversation was.

“Yes.”

“May I please have a slice, mi amor (my love)?” Javi asked you.

You stopped cutting, picking up a thin slice between two fingers you held up to him. “Here you go.”

“What do we say?” Javi asked the child as he carefully took it from you.

“I love youuu,” Stevie replied.

You giggled, Javi chuckling. “We do love her,” Javi said. “But since she’s nice and gave us something, we thank her. Do you wanna tell her thank you?”

“Thank youuu, tía. I love youuu.”

A smile was on your face. “You’re welcome, Stevie—I love you, too.”

“Here you go, bud,” Javi said, holding the piece of cucumber up to the toddler’s mouth. “It’s yummy.”

The child chomped down on it, humming happily as he chewed.

“Is it yummy?” you asked.

He nodded, taking what was left of the slice from Javi in his little hand and munching on it until he’d eaten the whole thing.

In less than half an hour, dinner was ready, their six-seat dining room table big enough for everyone to have a seat—Nate in a high chair next to Steve sitting at one end of the table, Olivia at the other, Stevie in a booster seat beside Connie, and Javi and you on taking up the two seats opposite them.

When your boyfriend was planning the trip, he made sure you both were on the same page about the limited time you’d be visiting and asked if on the first or second night, you wanted him to take you out to dinner or dancing since it was Miami, after all. Your answer was you were there to visit his best friends and their family, so you wanted to spend as much time as possible getting to know them—going out on the town wasn’t important for this trip, and you only hoped there’d be a chance to go to the beach.

You didn’t need him to wine and dine you—you were more than happy eating a homemade meal with the Murphys, laughing and chatting between bites.

Javi and you cleaned the kitchen without being asked after dinner, everyone having milk and cookies before it was time for the kids to go to bed.

Their bedtime was at eight o’clock, and Connie and Steve were double-teaming the boys’ bathtime. Olivia was old enough to care for herself, even though she tried her best to get her parents to let her stay up later. She did ask for Javi to tell her a story before bed, which he agreed to, leaving you alone in their family room watching a rerun of The Brady Bunch.

It gave you time to think, sitting there on the couch, chewing on your thumb.

Even with your fears, the baby fever was strong; all day, as you watched Javi with the kids and looked at pictures, you kept having thoughts about what he’d be like with your own children and feeling this overwhelming need to have a baby with him. There was something really hot about a man who was good with kids, and add in the knowledge you knew for a fact he would be a great parent and partner, had you feeling some type of way...

It was horny; you were so insanely horny over imagining him as the father of your kids.

It didn’t help that he kept giving you material for your imagination to run wild, like him playing with the children and the scenes in the pictures, or when he held Stevie in the kitchen while you were helping make dinner—his free hand had been on your back and he’d pause his conversation with the three-year-old for a second to kiss your hair a few times, easily envisioning him in the same situations with your own kids. Or during dinner with everyone sitting down to eat, and without them knowing, his hand going under the table to ghost his fingers along your jean short-covered thigh until it found its home on your inner thigh, wedged a little in the crease where your leg met your hip, Javi talking to everyone like he couldn’t feel the warmth at your center and thinking he’d absolutely do that at dinner with your own little family. Or there was how he gave you a hug and kiss before he went to tell Olivia a bedtime story, knowing that would be a daily occurrence when you had kids.

God, you wanted him so bad, having to rub your thighs together to ease the ache between them.

From the looks he’d been giving you throughout the day, you were pretty sure he wanted you just as much.

Could he really get you pregnant in a month?

Were you ready to go for it?

It felt like butterflies were fluttering around in your tummy at the thought.

There wasn’t any doubt for you about Javi saying his dad wanted you to live with him, but it felt kind of rude not talking to Chucho yourself before making this huge, life-altering decision that would affect him. You checked your watch, seeing it was almost eight in Laredo. He’d still be up. You could call him and talk it out.

“Hey,” Javi’s voice made you jump in your seat, your heart thudding rapidly. “Sorry.” He came around the couch, standing before you, your head tilting up to look at him.

“It’s okay,” you said.

He had a hand on a hip, smiling down at you with his eyes crinkled in happiness. “You ready for bed? We’re getting up early.”

You started moving to get up, and he put out a palm you took and helped pull you up while you said, “Um, yes. I am very ready for bed. Steve and Connie aren’t gonna miss us?” You were toe to toe with him when you stood.

“No.” He shook his head. “They know we’re getting up early and are exhausted from our long day.”

“Yes, we’re very exhausted from the long day,” you said in a monotone.

His tongue peeked out to swipe over his bottom lip. “Let’s go.”

He turned to grab the TV remote on the coffee table and clicked off the television before it was set down again, and he took your hand, leading you out of the room and toward the guest room, running into Steve and Connie in the hallway who whispered ‘Good night.’

In the bedroom, Javi locked the door, and with all the pent-up tension inside of you, it was surprising he didn’t kiss you immediately; instead, he started working open the buttons on his shirt as he walked over to his duffle bag, shrugging it off when he got to it, and getting out his toiletries bag that he took with him into the bathroom.

To be honest, you stood by the door completely confused while you watched him do all of this and only snapped out of it when the bathroom door closed halfway behind him.

From the sounds of the toilet flushing, then the sink continuously running, he was really going through his bedtime routine, probably washing his face at this moment after he cleaned his hands, and it annoyed you he was doing that instead of fucking you right this second. Your socked feet didn’t make any noise on the hard stone tile as you stomped angrily to your suitcase and got into it, quickly stripping out of your outfit and keeping your underwear on out of spite, covering them with sleep shorts and putting on an oversized t-shirt, you knew he’d hate since he didn’t like you sleeping in clothes.

You softly knocked on the bathroom door as you asked, “Can I wash my face and brush my teeth?” Your stuff was already in there for that.

The door was pulled open as you spoke, Javi standing there in just his unbuttoned jeans, it taking everything in you not to glance down at the trail of hair below his belly button. His face was freshly washed, and a red toothbrush was in his mouth, saying around it, “Yeah.”

He finished brushing his teeth as you walked in, wiping his mouth with a towel and giving you a kiss on the forehead before he went out to the bedroom.

You went through your own routine, the bed squeaking loudly, telling you he had gotten into it.

When you came out, only his bedside lamp was on, and he’d taken the side furthest from where you were standing, lying under the covers with his head propped up on his arm, where he could see you enter the room.

He was smiling up until you pulled back the blankets on your side.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“Getting into bed.”

“Yeah, but what are you wearing?”

The sounds the bed made as you crawled in made your jaw clench, all high-pitched and awful.

“Clothes.”

“Why are you wearing them?”

You both usually slept naked.

You turned your back to him, the bedframe squealing softly as you got comfortable.

“‘Cause I feel like it.”

He sighed, metal screeching with every move he made to end up with his naked body flush behind yours, his arm going over your middle, his mouth at your ear as he spoke softly, “Are you mad at me?”

“I’m annoyed with you.”

“What did I do?”

“It’s what you didn’t do.”

He sighed again. “What didn’t I do?”

“Oh, I don’t know, it’s not like you’ve been driving me crazy all fucking day with your sexy DILF energy, and I couldn’t wait to be alone with you so you could give me some good dick or anything.”

He snorted, and it made you grind your teeth.

“I’m sorry I upset you with the lack of good dick and for driving you crazy all day.”

“Apology accepted.”

“But you said earlier you’d talk to me later about how you needed more time, and I thought that discussion was more important than sex and what we were going to discuss when we got back to the room tonight...”

Your stomach dropped, eyes widening.

“Oh. Oh god.” You didn’t even care about the horrendous noises as you flipped over to face him, your hand going to his cheek. “I’m a horny asshole.”

He was frowning. “You forgot.”

“Actually, it wasn’t that I forgot; it was that between then and now, Connie was a gem and gave me some insight to help me work through my shit. Also, she is really mad about Stevie being a carbon copy of Steve.”

“I know—what shit did you need to work through?”

“It’s so dumb, but when you told me you actually talked to your dad about us moving in, it made things real, and I started panicking about the reality of pregnancy and childbirth—which I know most likely everything will be fine, but I was freaking out. Connie talked me through it, though, and let me know it’s pretty common to have some fear, and now I think I’m okay; nervous and a little scared, but okay.”

His fingers ghosted along the skin of your cheek to cup your face, speaking so quietly, “I don’t want you to be scared.”

“I mean, wouldn’t you be a little scared about growing a tiny human inside of you and then pushing them out of your vagina? And don’t say you don’t know because you don’t have a vagina” You poked him in his bare chest. “You practically live in my pussy—imagine a baby coming out of it.”

“...Okay, yeah, I can see how that would be scary. Jesus, I can barely get my dick inside it…”

“Yes, Javier, you have a big dick.” You rolled your eyes. “Is your ego stroked enough?”

He pinched your hip, and you giggled. “I just mean my dick barely fits inside your pussy. How the fuck is a whole baby gonna come out of it?”

Your eyebrow lifted. “Are you being serious? Do you need me to explain the magic of childbirth?”

“No. It was a rhetorical question.”

“Thank god.”

The look on his face changed, seeing the hope glimmering in his chocolate-colored eyes, his hand rubbing your side over your shirt.

“Is this a yes to a baby?” he asked.

“Before I answer.” You pressed your finger to his lips. “I need to talk to your dad just to make sure we’re all on the same page.” He nodded his head. “But, once I talk to him and everything’s peachy keen, it’s a yes.”

A surprised gasp left you when you suddenly found yourself on your back with a very happy man on top of you, slotting his naked hips between your thighs and pressing his lips to yours in a searing kiss. Your arms wrapped around his neck, moaning when his tongue licked into your mouth to tangle with your own, feeling his cock beginning to harden.

There was a throbbing ache in your core, wanting, no, needing, him to fill it in the only way he could, stuffing you full with his dick, then his come. Your fingers slid into his hair, nails lightly scraping against his scalp, the bed complaining with every minuscule movement you made.

SCREECH-Screech-screech. Javi sat up on his knees, the blankets falling down behind him. His eyebrows were pulled together, and his mouth was turned down in a frown as he grabbed the hem of your t-shirt. “If you were naked—” The bed squeaked as your upper body rose for him to tug your shirt off, it getting tossed to the floor. You laid back down, the frame screeching loudly again. “—you’d already be coming on my fingers.” Your cunt clenched hard around nothing at his words.

“I’m sorry!” you harshly whispered. “I was mad.”

He moved back on his knees, causing more ear-splitting noises, his fingers dipping into the waistband of your shorts and underwear. “Yeah, you kept your fucking panties on.” His face scrunched in confusion. “Why would you make it harder for me to fuck you?”

“Because: how annoyed are you right now?”

Squeak. His jaw ticked, and you knew he was irritated. “Between this fucking bed and having to waste time I could be fucking you, undressing you? I’m pretty fucking annoyed.” He pulled off your remaining clothes in one go, your ass rising, then falling back onto the bed and bouncing twice to the tune of the worst high-pitched sounds that could rival nails on a chalkboard. “Jesus fucking Christ,” he seethed.

You grimaced. “I am so sorry, babe. Can I make it up to you? A sloppy blowjob? I can sit on your face? You can play with my ass?” He always loved that.

He moved to lay on his side beside you, the journey plagued by ungodly noise, looking at you with a grumpy expression—someone pounded on the wall connecting your room to Steve and Connie’s master bathroom, Javi’s face turning red and eyes flashing with anger.

“Fuck this,” he growled.

He tossed his pillow and yours to the floor next to you and crawled over you to get off the mattress, the bedframe singing the godawful song of its people as he went, Javi pulling the comforter off the bed to fall on the floor. He groaned as he bent down to situate everything, ending up on his knees atop the spread-out blanket when he was satisfied. His arm went over your belly, using his strength to get you to the edge of the bed in a chorus of squeaks and grunts, and let you get on your feet on the ground before he dragged you down to lay on the comforter with your head cushioned on a pillow.

Javi was back to lying on his side beside you, holding his head up on his arm to look at you with irritation written on his features, his other hand smoothing down your belly to the apex of your thighs, the slide of two thick fingers through your slit making your breath catch in your throat.

“You wore clothes to annoy me.” He pouted.

He gathered some of the wetness pooling at your opening and used it to easily swirl his digits over your sensitive clit, sparking pleasure in your belly.

“Yes,” you gasped.

“You know all the little shit that annoys the fuck out of me—like the fucking underwear and shorts.”

He was fine if you wore underwear to bed, but underwear and sleep shorts? That was too many layers for him and, frankly, you, too. His preference was for you to be naked—he loved skin-to-skin contact and having easy access when you wanted him or when he wanted you.

“I’m sorry.” You loudly gulped, the beginning of your orgasm starting to make itself known. “Please let me come.” He seemed annoyed enough. You could imagine he’d draw things out and make you beg.

His expression changed to confusion. “I’m gonna let you come, baby.” He removed his hand, a pitiful sound leaving you as you watched him suck his fingers into his mouth, hearing the swish of saliva—they came out from between his plush lips, glistening in the low light of the room, and you moaned when without any preamble he pressed those two digits into your wet entrance.

He quietly shushed you. “Gotta be quiet, Cielito,” he said. You bit your bottom lip, reveling in the slight stretch of his fingers as he pumped them slowly in and out, your eyelids fluttering shut. “You also know all the little things that make me happy—like how I prefer Mexican Coca-cola, and you do shit like make me stop at that corner store on our way to Pop’s every week to pick up three bottles.” He started moving faster, and it made you whine at how good it felt. “You love me, you care about me, and make me so fucking happy—I was really fucking happy about your yes.” He crooked his digits, sliding the pads of his fingertips along your upper wall until he hit something divine that made you gasp. “There it is.” His focus went to that spot, making sure to press against it every time he pushed inside, your vision dotting with stars at the intense pleasure. “I was really fucking happy about your yes,” he said again, the added friction of his thumb rubbing your clit, rocketing you to your end, the knot in your belly winding up so tight it was close to snapping. “Then the clothes and the fucking bed—”

“Threw off your groove,” you panted, grabbing at the blanket for something to hold onto.

“Threw off my fucking groove and pissed me off.”

“I’m sorry.” You felt so bad but were also so close to coming.

His head came forward to kiss you tenderly. “Quería hacerte el amor (I wanted to make love to you),” he murmured into your lips, and you clenched around his fingers. “Quería hacerlo bien suave, dártelo despacito (I wanted to do it softly, give it to you slowly).” His hand sped up, hearing the wet slide of his digits fucking into you, the pleasure making the muscles in your stomach tighten and tighten. He nipped at your lip. “But I’m too worked up,” he rasped. “So, now, after you’re my good girl and you come on my fingers, you’re getting put face down, ass up, and I’m gonna give you that good dick you’re entitled to as my future wife and mother of my children—and next time you’re gonna ask for it instead of pulling the passive aggressive bullshit you did tonight; I love you more than anything, but I can’t read your mind.”

“Oh, god,” you moaned, wound up so tight you were dangling on the edge.

He kissed your cheek, trailing his lips down to your ear, his words coming out deep and husky with a slight edge that brooked no room for argument, “Javi,” he corrected, “the man you’re gonna marry, who's gonna make you a mother, and right now, come.”

The tension inside you snapped, the order doing you in as you came with a loud moan Javi smothered with his mouth pressing to yours. Euphoria pulsed out from your center while your pussy squeezed his fingers hard enough that they stopped moving, his thumb gently stroking over your sensitive bundle of nerves to help you ride out your high.

He was languidly kissing you, your body pleasantly relaxed and feeling amazing.

It was wetter between your legs, your slick drenching his fingers. You slid your hands into soft strands of his hair, kissing him harder, and he groaned, grinding his hard cock into your hip for some friction, his precum streaking on your skin.

Javi pulled back, and you chased his lips. “You good?” he asked.

Your eyes opened, seeing his plush lips were red and shiny from spit. “Yeah.”

His head nodded, his loving gaze admiring every inch of your face. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” You smirked. “...and I love that I’m entitled to your good dick.”

His mouth curved in a crooked smile, removing his hand from between your legs to grab your smaller one and press it to his hot, throbbing length. “It’s yours,” he said, “and only yours, so yeah, you’re entitled to it, mi amor (my love).”

You took the girth of him in hand, and his mouth fell open as you stroked the velvety soft skin. “God, you’re so fucking hot, and you were exceptionally hot today. Like, thank you for making me come on your fingers, but I’m afraid I am going to die if you don’t put this thing inside me where it belongs.”

His dark eyes got darker. “Flip over,” he ordered.

“Don’t have to ask me twice,” you said, immediately turning over onto your stomach and getting on your knees. You leaned forward to rest your arms and head on the pillow, keeping your ass up in the air.

Pained groans sounded from Javi as he moved, knowing being on the stone-tiled floor was probably fucking up his knees and back. You grabbed the extra pillow beside the one you were on and held it back behind you. “Use this as a knee pad.”

You didn’t have to look at him to know he was frowning. “What about your knees?”

“You’re a sweetheart for worrying about my knees, but they’re fine. I want you comfy while you fuck my brains out.”

A loud sigh left him. “I should be fucking you in a bed—” There was anger in his tone, snatching the pillow from you. “—not the fucking floor.” You could feel the air moving behind you as he situated himself on the pillow. “You deserve better than the fucking floor.”

You frowned. “If you’re this mad about it, we can fuck on the chair again? Or you can bend me over the bathroom counter?”

“No.” He had shuffled close enough that his body heat was radiating against your skin, hearing him spit on his fingers, followed by wet strokes as he slicked up his cock. “This is how I want you.”

Your head was resting on your crossed arms, and you wiggled your backside. “You did say you were gonna give me that good dick while I was face down, ass up.”

His big hands grabbed your asscheeks and spread them. “Yeah, I fucking am.” A soft moan fell from your lips when you felt warm saliva land on the skin between your asshole and pussy, one of his hands sliding the tip of his cock through the spit to notch at your entrance. “I need you to be quiet.”

“I can be—” The sentence ended with you shoving your face into the pillow to muffle your moan as the tight walls of your cunt were stretched and filled with his hard, thick cock, pushing in so deep he kissed your womb.

He bottomed out, his hips connecting with the plump flesh of your ass, and it stole your breath, your head going dizzy with pleasure.

“Fuck,” he whispered, digging his fingers into your hips. “Fucking perfect.” He pulled out halfway and pushed back in. “The perfect pussy.” Now, he was rocking into you, keeping as much of himself inside you as possible while still getting some friction. “God, I love you.”

Your head turned to speak quietly, “Are you already pussy drunk?”

He swatted your asscheek. “Don’t give me shit,” he grumped. “You weren’t the only one driven crazy all fucking day.”

“I’m not giving you shit—it’s making me feel really good about myself.”

“Yeah?” His hands were gripping the globes of your ass. “You love knowing what you do to me?” he asked, sliding his dick out until just the tip was inside. He thrusted forward hard, your eyes rolling back in your head and a gasp leaving your lips. “You love the power you have over me?” he questioned, pulling out to the same point. Thrust. “That not even a second inside you, and I never wanna fucking leave.” He kept that slow, hard pace as he spoke, moving in and out. You reached one of your hands between your legs, spreading two digits around where he was spearing into you to feel how he was stretching you open. “My favorite place to put my dick.”

It was taking everything in you to hold back your moans, whimpers slipping from your throat instead from how fucking good it felt. With the way you were positioned, his cock was sliding against those spots that made your toes curl and your vision blur, having a hard time thinking, let alone speaking—his last comment somehow caused you to blurt out, “Liar.”

He was softly grunting behind you, his fingers tightening on your ass.

His pace didn’t waver. “What am I lying about?”

He really wanted an answer? It took a lot of effort for you to reply, a thin layer of sweat forming on your skin, swallowing hard before you spoke. “Your favorite—” He pushed into you, and it hit so good you moaned. “—fuck,” you tried again. “Your favorite place is my ass.” His rhythm stuttered, and he kept his groan low.

His voice was rough, “No, it’s not. That’s my second favorite—fuck, you feel so good—so fucking wet. This pussy is my favorite.” You could tell he was exciting himself. “Fucking love it—can never get enough of it.”

The swing of his hips sped up, fucking into you faster, your ass jiggling as his body collided with yours. This new tempo had you putting your face back into the cushiony pillow to dampen your moans, your fingers moving to rub at your clit, causing fire to ignite in your belly; soft grunts coming from behind you, hearing the slap of skin on skin, and the sounds wet where he was working himself into your cunt, a steady stream of your arousal dripping down his shaft to his balls slapping against your digits.

The heat at the base of your spine was growing, his dick pounding into you at a punishing pace, mewling incessantly from the onslaught. Each thrust had you seeing stars, the pleasure building you higher and higher, your belly clenching in anticipation for your impending orgasm.

It didn’t even surprise you how quickly he was working you up with the way you were pent up from watching him all day—how tempting it’d been to haul him away and fuck him, and he wasn’t disappointing you now, truly giving you the good dick you’d wanted.

The muscles in your stomach were beginning to tighten, so fucking lost in what he was doing to you and your fingers, you’d forgotten to control your volume, a big hand squeezing its way between your face and the pillow to cover your mouth.

Javi came down over your back, holding himself up on an arm while he kept fucking into you, dipping his upper body low enough his lips grazed the shell of your ear, feeling his hot, panting breaths.

“Such a good fucking girl taking it,” he breathily rasped into your ear. “Am I fucking you good? Is this the good dick you wanted?” You moaned into his palm. “Your needy little pussy just needed my cock?” He was pounding into you hard enough to make your thighs jiggle and ass shake like jello. “Turned you on watching me today? You love knowing that I’ll be a good father? That I’ll actually give a shit? That you just, fuck,” he groaned. “That you just have to say the word, and I’ll fuck a baby into you?” He was moving faster. “I’ll give you a baby—I’ll keep your perfect little pussy stuffed with my come to make sure it takes.” The sentence made you clench around him, so close to your climax you could taste it. “Is that what you want?”

You couldn’t speak, not with the way he was fucking you, unable to articulate words as he impaled you on his dick.

“Are you cock dumb, Cielito?” he asked through heavy breaths. “Am I fucking you too good? I know you’re close. Give me another, and I’ll fuck you full of me.”

Your body was trembling, right on the cusp of coming.

“Come all over my cock, baby, and I’ll fill you up. Just think, after my birthday, when I fuck my come deep inside you, I could end up knocking you up.”

Finally, you were cresting, your cunt clamping down on him hard enough, he slowed as you came with a whine, and tears leaked from your eyes. Pleasure exploded out from your core, feeling it in your fingers and toes, your mind going pleasantly blank while your chest heaved and your heart raced.

“My good girl.” He sounded pained, rolling his hips to extend your high. “You’re so fucking good to me—I fucking love you.”

He pulled out of you and removed his hand from your mouth, and you hated how empty you felt.

Groaning, he sat up on his knees.

He tapped your hip. “I need you on your back.”

His hands were gentle as he helped you in your fucked out state to get onto your back with him in the space between your spread legs. He ended up over you, with an arm beside your head, the other guiding himself back inside you in one smooth thrust that made you whimper.

Your eyes were closed, but you could feel how he surrounded you—the mass of him on top of you with those broad shoulders you loved so much.

When he started moving, he didn’t go slow, nor was he going the typical speed to chase his own high—it was something in between that had him slickly sliding in and out of your drenched pussy, hearing the wet suck of each stroke.

First, his lips found yours, kissing you while his hands sought out your own, interlacing your fingers together as he held them above your heads. Your bodies were glistening and hair damp with sweat, not caring how the skin that came in contact stuck together.

You were still feeling good from your orgasm and loved how he felt inside you, knowing this was how he originally wanted to fuck you.

“Te amo (I love you),” he said into your lips, sounding wrecked. “Te amo tanto (I love you so much). No puedo esperar a verte usando un anillo (I can’t wait to see you wearing a ring on your finger). No puedo esperar a verte embarazada (I can’t wait to see you pregnant).” His pace was quickening, his words getting breathier. “No puedo esperar a que seas mi esposa (I can’t wait for you to be my wife). No puedo esperar a que seas la madre de mi hijos (I can’t wait for you to be the mother of my children). No puedo esperar a vivir en la casa de tus sueños contigo (I can’t wait to live in the house of your dreams with you). No puedo esperar a pasar el resto de mi vida contigo (I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you). Te amo, mi Cielito, mi amor, mi vida, mi alma, mi todo (I love you, my Cielito, my love, my life, my soul, my everything).”

“God,” you softly moaned. “This is what you meant when you said querías hacerme el amor (you wanted to make love to me).” This was the only way you were okay with the phrase—it sounded very romantic in Spanish. “How do you make me fall more in love with you?” You kissed him. “It’s not fair.” Your words were muffled. “I want to be married to you and have your babies.” Your legs went around his hips, digging your heels into his flexed asscheeks to pull him closer to you each time he pushed in. “Fuck a baby into me, Javi.” He groaned at your words, his hips moving faster, finally working toward his end. “I want one so bad—I’m hoping I can get rid of my birth control tomorrow.” Which was true.

The sound he made, you’d think he’d been wounded, his strokes getting jerky, his face going into your neck as he breathed through his bared teeth until he was pushing in all the way, biting into your shoulder to muffle his ragged moan as he came. You felt as his cock thickened and pulsed, spurting hot come as deep inside you as he could get, your cunt clenching around him.

This was what you had needed all damn day, finally feeling sated at being full of him, all of him—his dick, his come—sighing happily.

He let go of your hands, and you found yourself under the comforting weight of the man you’d one day marry and have children with, sliding your fingers into the soft, thick, sweat-damp strands of his hair, making him hum and nuzzle into your throat as you lightly scratched at his scalp.

Nothing mattered when you were like this; no one else existed. There was only Javi and you, you and Javi. He was what you could feel and what you could smell. When you opened your eyes, he was what you could see; his heavy breaths were what you could hear—he was everything.

He was your everything.

Javier Peña was your today, tomorrow, next week, and next year. He was your present and future, the one you were meant to spend the rest of your days on this planet with and haunt all of eternity in the afterlife with. He was your person, the love of your life, your soulmate, and most of all, your best friend.

You were going to marry and start a family with your best friend, the man who knew you better than anyone else and loved you more, too.

Why were you ever scared about having a child when you knew he’d be by your side every step of the way and take care of you?

Because you’ve never had this kind of support or been loved like this before. You were in new territory and treading carefully, learning as you went—both of you were learning to live this new life together and figuring things out. As Javi said earlier in the day, it wasn’t going to be all sunshine and rainbows. You were going to have your ups and downs, but all that mattered was you stuck together through the good and the bad because you truly loved each other.

Time passed, the minutes going into the double digits before either of you spoke, content in your cocoon.

“Did you mean it?” he said the words into your skin.

“Did I mean what?” It took some head-turning and neck stretching to kiss his forehead.

“You wanna get rid of your birth control tomorrow.”

“Yeah.” Your fingers stroked through his hair. “I was gonna call your dad right before you came and got me for bed, but now it’s too late. I’ll leave a message on his answering machine in the morning since he’ll be working to give us a call on his lunch break so I can talk to him.”

Javi’s head popped up to look you in the eyes with a grin. “He’ll answer the first time you call.”

You frowned. “He’ll already be working by six… He won’t be home.”

He was practically vibrating with excitement. “Trust me, he’ll be home.”

Your eyes narrowed. “What do you know that I don’t know?”

“Nothing that you don’t already know—Pop really wants to be an abuelo (grandpa), and he’s on our ass about grandkids all the fucking time.”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t explain him being home tomorrow…”

“Oh, yeah, I talked to him earlier and mentioned you wanted to talk to him before we finally went for it, and he got so excited, he said he’d stay home the next couple of days in case you called.”

That sounded like something Chucho would do if he knew there was a chance it’d speed up him getting his grandkids, and it warmed your heart, making you smile. “He’s the best—I love your dad.”

“He’s your dad, too—he already calls you his nuera (daughter-in-law).”

“Sure, but it feels a little sweet home Alabama saying, ‘I love our dad’ with your dick still inside me.”

A high-pitched sound came from air escaping between his lips, which he was struggling to keep closed, it sputtering into a full-on laugh, his eyes crinkling at the edges in mirth.

“That’s fucked up,” he wheezed.

You were smiling, pushing his bangs away from his face. “It’s the truth. The sentiment is sweet, but the phrasing is a real boner killer.”

“I love you.” He was calming down, adjusting his weight onto one arm in order to cradle your face in his other palm.

“I love you, too.”

The smile on his face was big and bright, a joyful chuckle leaving him as he leaned in to kiss you—something sweet, and tender, feeling his happiness with each press of his plush lips to yours.

“We’re gonna have a baby,” he said between kisses.

“I’m not pregnant yet.”

“You will be soon.” And he said it so matter of factly, with such surety, it had pleasure shivering down your spine, your cunt clenching around his softened cock, making him hiss from the overstimulation.

A shift happened, the kisses turning more fervent before he was pulling out of you and making a journey with his lips down your body, to between your legs, where he worshipped you with his mouth and tongue, your fingers tugging on his hair, biting your lip to keep yourself quiet.

After he pulled another orgasm from you, he finally seemed satisfied, and a quick shower was taken to wash the sex away from your bodies. Javi was so pissed off about the bed he refused to sleep in it how Steve had intended and instead quietly moved the furniture around, pushing an end table and the bedframe closer to the closet to give him enough space to put the mattress on the floor. It was going to be an absolute bitch to get up from in the morning, but your future husband was pleased with himself for getting around his friend trying to cockblock him, and you both were happy you weren’t plagued with any more godawful noise.

This time, you were naked when you crawled into bed with Javi, and he immediately pulled you into his arms, tangling your legs together. Exhaustion caught up to you from the long day, sleep making your eyes heavy, smiling when he kissed your forehead, then your lips, his nose nudging yours as he whispered, “I love you.”

Your thoughts had become slow, so comfortable and warm, feeling so loved and happy, you were drifting off, mumbling as you went, “I love you, too.”

The bright teal walls and floral artwork hanging on them let him know he was standing in the hallway at the back of his father’s house—his mother had chosen each piece, and his dad had hammered each nail they hung from in the spots she’d decided. In all his years in this house, he’d never seen these walls bare and loved even after all this time since his mom had passed away, his father hadn’t changed a single thing she decorated; not in this hallway, not in his parent’s bedroom, the living room, the kitchen, the entryway, the guest room; they all had a touch of her, little traces of her memory with the pictures she chose to display or the knick-knacks she left on shelves or decorations adorning the spaces.

Sounds were coming from the kitchen that told him someone was cooking—a tune he couldn’t quite make out but somehow knew playing on his mother’s favorite Spanish radio station, something frying on the stove, the dings and scrapes of cooking utensils against pots and pans—the familiarity of it making him wonder what his Cielito was making, and feeling like he was floating across the floor with how smoothly he walked toward the noises.

One moment, he was walking, the next, he was in the kitchen beside the table. His vision was soft around the edges and unfocused, but he knew the woman whose back was to him wasn’t Cielito—it was almost like she was a shadow; the shape of an adult human female with no details.

The dark figure’s head turned to look over their shoulder at him, and even without a face, he could tell they were smiling.

“Ah, mi Javiercito, estoy muy feliz de que estés aquí (Ah, my Javier, I’m so happy you’re here)!” His vision focused as she spoke and filled in those details that were missing, his mother appearing before him with her brown hair that matched his beginning to grey and the same lines on her face that were in the photo taken on his parents’ 35th anniversary. “Te he echado de menos, nene (I’ve missed you, baby boy).” She turned to face him, wearing her light pink, rose-printed apron with the ruffle trim and two big, solid dark pink pockets on the front. “Ven a ayudar a tu mamá a abrir este frasco obstinado (Come help your mom open this stubborn jar).” She held it up, and he was so transfixed with her he didn’t care to see what was in it.

“Amá (Mom),” he whispered, trying not to cry. “¿Eres tú, amá (Is that you, mom)?”

“¿Estuviste ausente por tanto tiempo que te olvidaste de tu pobre madre (Were you away for so long that you forgot about your poor mother)? Sí, soy yo (Yes, it’s me). Ahora, ayúdame a abrir este frasco (Now, help me open this jar).” She lifted the glass again. “Tu papá está trabajando y tengo que terminar de hacer la cena (Your dad is working and I need to finish making dinner). Es una gran noche para todos nosotros (It’s a big night for all of us).”

Javier took the jar and easily got the lid off with a pop as he removed it.

His mother was much shorter than him, and she reached up to grab his face, pulling him down to kiss all over his cheeks like he was a child before she held them and looked him in the eyes.

“Gracias, Javiercito (Thank you, Javier),” she said. “Estoy muy orgullosa de ti y del hombre increíble en el que te has convertido (I am so proud of you and the amazing man you have become). No sabes lo feliz que estoy de ver hacia dónde se dirige tu vida (You don’t know how happy I am to see where your life is going). No mereces nada más que felicidad (You deserve nothing but happiness). Hablando de eso, ¿cuándo llegará mi nuera favorita aquí (Speaking of which, when will my favorite daughter-in-law get here)?” She patted his cheeks. “¿Dónde está tu Cielito (Where is your Cielito)? Ella necesita estar aquí para la celebración de que tu padre y yo finalmente vamos a ser abuelos (She needs to be here for the celebration that your dad and I are finally going to be grandparents). Estoy haciendo su receta favorita de mi caja de recetas (I’m making her favorite recipe from my recipe box).”

It was so hard to speak when it felt like there was a lump in his throat.

“¿Por qué estás haciendo su receta favorita (Why are you making her favorite recipe)?” he asked thickly. “Soy tu hijo (I’m your son).”

His mom smiled. “Porque ella es la mujer increíble que hizo sonreír a mi hijo de nuevo, y lo ama tanto, sé que finalmente tendrá la vida feliz que tanto se merece (Because she is the incredible woman who made my son smile again, and loves him so much, I know he’s going to finally have the happy life he deserves).” Her smile turned mischievous. “Además, ella es mi hija favorita que nunca tuve y la madre de mis futuros nietos, así que le haré todo lo que quiera (Also, she is my favorite daughter I never had and the mother of my future grandchildren, so I will make her anything she wants.”

Suddenly, consciousness was crashing into him as he woke up, gasping on a sob, his eyes wet with tears. The room was pitch black when his eyelids lifted, lying face up atop the mattress, Cielito’s back pressed to his side with his arm draped over her bare middle, the ache in his heart making his shoulders shake as he cried away the sadness.

What he’d give for that dream to have been reality.

He couldn’t recall the last time his mother had visited him while he slept. For years after she passed away, the only time she appeared in his dreams was when he relived the last time he saw her alive as she lay on her deathbed. Over and over again, he’d sit on the edge of the hospital bed with her frail hands gripping her rosary between his, begging him to take it for her, and Javier always telling her he would and how much he loved her. Sometimes, he’d say more—he’d beg for her forgiveness for being away for so long, tell her he couldn’t live without her, and plead with her to stay a little longer because he wasn’t ready to let her go.

What he dreamt this evening was different than anything he could remember. It was jarring how real it felt, which made it hurt so much worse. He wondered why his brain chose tonight of all nights to have her visit him and say things he’d needed to hear. Maybe it was all of the big changes taking place in his life—he was moving forward, and it was a reminder she’d always be with him. What he knew for sure was it made him miss her so fucking much and hate that she wouldn’t be with his dad when he and Cielito called him this morning to tell him the news they were engaged and wanted to start their family.

Thinking about his plans for that morning, he moved his arm from over his future wife to wipe away the wetness on his cheeks and carefully sat up so he didn’t wake her, the blankets falling to pool at his waist. He twisted his upper body to look over his shoulder at the glowing red numbers on the alarm clock sitting on the bedside table pressed against the mattress-less bed frame. The alarm he set would be going off in ten minutes, so it looked like he was getting up. He leaned back and stretched his arm to turn off the alarm.

It was a smart move to put the mattress on the floor with how he was able to quietly get out of bed, his knees complaining when he stood up and made his way in the dark to the chair by the bathroom door where he set out his clothes the night before.

He’d get dressed in the bathroom, brush his teeth, do his hair, and shave. Then, he needed to do some other things before it was time to wake up the woman he loved.

His head was running through the list of shit that he had to get done, and something he kept thinking about, and he knew wasn’t rational, was how the dream felt like his mother saying hi and giving him her approval of who he was going to marry from beyond the grave.

As he said, it wasn’t rational, but it made him really fucking happy.

The tickle of his mustache as he kissed along your shoulder had you waking. His warm hand was rubbing along your arm while he whispered into your skin, “Wake up, Cielito. It’s time to get up, mi amor (my love). We gotta get going, baby.”

“Mmm,” you hummed with a smile. He was on top of the blankets behind you. “What time is it?” you murmured.

“Half past five.”

“In Laredo or Miami?”

You could feel him smile. “Miami.”

The answer made you groan. “That’s four-thirty at home—why are we waking up at five-thirty on vacation?”

“If you get up, you’ll find out.”

You were frowning. “Is everyone else getting up, too?”

“No.”

“What, are you making me breakfast before they wake up or something?”

“No.”

“Are we going someplace at the asscrack of dawn?”

He huffed out an amused breath. “Yes.”

That had you wondering where in the world he’d take you so early.

“Will there be food?”

“Yes.”

He probably wanted to take you alone to some local diner he used to go to when he’d visit, so it was best to leave while everyone else was sleeping.

The thought of coffee and breakfast had you saying, “Fine, I’m getting up.”

“Thank you, Cielito.” He placed one last kiss on your shoulder and moved to get up with a groan. You stretched under the warm covers, blinking open your eyes to see the bathroom light was on with the door cracked, and Javi was fully dressed, yawning as you threw back the blankets.

He helped pull you up from the mattress, and as you walked toward the bathroom, you asked, “Will leggings and a t-shirt be okay, or is there a dress code?”

“Whatever you’ll be comfortable in is fine.”

“Mmkay.”

After taking care of your needs in the en suite, it took some minutes to get ready, ending up in some black leggings and an oversized coral-colored t-shirt with minty breath and your hair done.

The two of you were quiet as you made your way out of the house, stopping to put on your shoes and Javi locking the front door with a key on his keyring as you left.

The sky outside was dark, the street lights offering an orangish glow. Javi was wearing a white button-up under his black leather jacket and jeans, and you were still feeling a bit groggy when you got in the SUV, unable to keep from yawning. He laced his fingers with yours on your thigh, and even though there was a center console separating you both, you leaned your head against his arm as you hugged it, street lights and the headlights of morning commuters passing you as you made your way down the roads with the radio softly playing.

Between the signs on the highway and glimpses of the ocean, it wasn’t much of a surprise when Javi pulled over to the side of the road near a beach access point in Miami Beach forty-five minutes later. It still wasn’t clicking what you were doing there so early in the morning, though. A big bank of dirt covered in bushes kept the water out of view, with some palm trees and a street lamp standing high above near the entrance.

“I thought you said there’d be food?” you said, not even attempting to keep the confusion out of your tone.

“Trust me.” He kissed your hair, untangling your hands as he put the vehicle in park and switched it off.

“Okay… I didn’t bring a jacket.”

Javi met your eyes, the overhead lights coming on when he removed the keys. “Don’t worry. I’ve got you, mi amor. Now, come with me, please.” He didn’t even look tired, his gaze bright and hopeful.

“Okay.” You unbuckled your seatbelt, and he smiled, doing the same.

What was a surprise was when you went to see what he was getting out of the trunk, and he pulled out a big bundled-up blanket and full tote bag that clinked as he moved. You closed the back of the SUV without him having to ask.

“Javi?”

He had started walking, and you followed, the air surprisingly warm for how early it was.

“Yes, Cielito?”

“Did you bring me to the beach for a breakfast picnic?”

“Yes.”

You followed him down the path lined with tall grass, bushes, and trees, your feet sinking into the sand as you walked, hearing the waves in the distance—on the beach, you looked around, not seeing any other people, just miles upon miles of sand, and wondered to yourself with how sweet this whole thing was if Javi would let you suck his dick. Thankfully, he didn’t make you walk far, taking you to a circular alcove at the base of the hill where it indented in, the grass and raised land along the sides shielding you from view at those angles.

He set down the bag and spread out the blanket, stepping onto it, and you watched as he lowered himself down to sit on his ass with his legs spread a little out in front of him. He made you giggle when he tugged you by the arm and pulled you down into his lap, ending up across it, his head turning to look at you with a smile, the same expression on your face.

“You stupidly romantic man,” you said, stroking your fingers over his smooth cheek.

“You love that I’m stupidly romantic.” He kissed your palm.

“Yes, I do—like, if you wanted me to, I’d suck your dick right this second. A beach breakfast picnic deserves an out-in-public blow job.”

He chuckled, shaking his head. “You’re gonna get us arrested.”

“Hey, I can’t help that it makes me horny when you’re stupidly romantic. My only complaint is how early it is. Aside from that, everything else is lovely.”

His lips dipped into a frown. “I’m, uh, sorry I can’t make the sun rise later…”

Your eyes rounded. “Oh my fucking god,” you breathed. “We’re here to watch the sunrise. I’m so fucking stupid.”

“Why else would I get you up at the asscrack of dawn?”

“Sex,” you answered immediately.

His eyebrow went up. “Did we fuck?”

“No.” You shook your head. Warmth was moving through your veins, feeling the fuzzy happiness. “Because you brought me to the beach for a breakfast picnic and to watch the sunrise!” Moving, you straddled his thighs, taking his face in your hands as you crashed your mouth to his, kissing him like your life depended on it. His arms went around your back to pull you into him, his mouth opening when you eagerly pressed your tongue inside to slide against his, rocking your hips.

The need to breathe became too much, and his lips went to your chin to travel along your jaw in wet streaks.

“I love you so much, Javi,” you panted. “I wish I could do something as special as this for you.”

“You did.” He sucked on your neck, and you moaned.

“I did?”

His head came up to meet your gaze. “Yeah, when you learned how to make mi mamá’s tamales.”

“Oh.”

“You’re stupidly romantic, too.”

It never crossed your mind that making him his mother’s tamale recipe would come across as stupidly romantic—you’d just wanted him to have some comfort on his tough first day at his new job.

“Well, fuck, we’re both a couple of stupidly romantic fools.”

He smiled big as he laughed, giving you a quick kiss.

“Yes, we are. Turn around, baby, and watch the sunrise.” He nodded toward it.

“Bossy.” You gave him a peck on the lips and turned around to sit between his legs, with your back to his front.

A cool gust from the ocean hit you, causing goosebumps to rise on your skin and making you shiver; staring off at the horizon and the dim sky colored in a fiery red where it met the water, lightening to yellow, then a soft blue as it rose.

Javi’s upper body was moving behind you. “Lean forward a little,” he said.

You tilted forward slightly, and he placed his leather jacket on your shoulders, feeling the weight of it and warmth on the inside from his body heat as it covered your arms and back.

Leaning back with your head on his shoulder, you turned to kiss his jaw. “Thank you.”

He hugged around your belly, shoving his face in your neck. “You’re welcome.” His words were muffled.

“What’s in the bag?” you asked.

He squeezed you a little tighter for a second.

“Thermos of coffee, some coffee cups, croissants, donut holes, berries, and cut-up pineapple.”

It was getting brighter, and you were enjoying watching the waves rolling.

“How in the world did you prepare all of that?”

“Connie—she bought everything, had the coffee pot set to be ready when I got up before you, and all I had to do was cut up the pineapple and pack everything.”

“Connie’s the best.”

His chin was resting on your shoulder.

“She is. Are you enjoying the trip?”

“Yes,” you answered truthfully. “Your friends are great, and I’d love to visit again.”

“Good.”

The sky had erupted in bright yellows, oranges, and reds the closer the sun got to appearing.

“It’s so beautiful.”

“Not as beautiful as you,” he said, taking your left hand in his, his other arm staying around your middle.

In the past, if he said such a thing, you’d snort or deny the compliment, but you’ve been with him long enough to know it wasn’t just him saying words—he meant it. If you asked him if he’d rather watch the sunrise or look at you, he’d choose option two because he was so unbelievably in love with you there was nothing or nobody more beautiful to him; he didn’t even look at other women, or if you pointed out one was attractive, he sounded so uninterested, with his, ‘Sure,’ or, ‘I guess,’ before he got flirty and told you how you were hotter.

This man was obsessed with you, and it was the greatest feeling in the world to feel so wanted. Your insecurities would never disappear, but he did his best to ensure you knew he loved all of you, including your flaws and the things you hated. He was perfect, and sometimes you couldn’t believe he was yours.

You grabbed his hand on your stomach. “My sweet man, I’m literally the happiest girl in the world. I don’t know how I got so lucky meeting you,” you said, sighing wistfully. “You came into my life with those beautiful brown eyes, that perfect mustache, and those tight-ass jeans, and I was a goner. You take up my every thought, and second, and hour, and everywhere I look, it’s you who comes to mind—it’s always you. God, I get lost in your eyes, your smile, and your voice. I get lost just thinking about them. I am so in love with you, Javi, that I miss you constantly. You can be in another room, and I miss you. You can be sitting on the other end of the couch, and I miss you. What I’m trying to say, Javier, is that I love you and am as obsessed with you as you are with me and that I know, to you, I am more beautiful than what we’re looking at.”

Emotion made his words rough. “I’m happy you finally believe me.” He kissed your hair.

“I do. I definitely do.”

He cleared his throat. “Can I say my stupidly romantic shit now?”

You laughed, the sun just beginning to peek in the distance, the colors of the sky reminding you of the opening scene in The Lion King. “Yes,” you answered.

He cleared his throat. “Mi Cielito, eres mi primer amor y mi último, mi media naranja y la mujer con la que voy a pasar el resto de mi vida (My Cielito, you are my first love and my last, my soulmate, and the woman I am going to spend the rest of my life with). Yo te pertenezco (I belong to you). Todo de mí es tuyo (All of me is yours). Mi presente, mi futuro, te pertenece (My present, my future, belongs to you). Eres con quien quiero compartir mi vida, y con quien quiero pasar por los buenos momentos y malos (You are the one I want to share my life with and the one I want to go through the good times and bad with). Me haces un mejor hombre y me haces querer ser un mejor hombre que merece a alguien tan increíble como tú (You make me a better man, and you make me want to be a better man who deserves someone as incredible as you).

“Sabía que eras la unica desde el momento en que nos conocimos (I knew you were the one from the moment we met). Sentí una conexión contigo (I felt a connection with you)—por la primera vez, sentí paz y sé que era mi alma encontraba su pieza faltante (for the first time I felt peace and I know it was my soul finding its missing piece). Sabía que iba a casarme contigo en nuestra tercera cita mientras bailábamos en tu cocina, y si soy honesta conmigo mismo, sabía que te amaba entonces, también (I knew I was going to marry you on our third date while we were dancing in your kitchen, and if I’m honest with myself, I knew I loved you then, too)—las palabras estuvieron pegadas a la punta de mi lengua durante semanas antes de que las dijera en voz pero supe durante tanto tiempo que tú eras para mí (the words were stuck to the tip of my tongue for weeks before I said them out loud, but I knew for so long that you were it for me).”

Tears fell down your cheeks, hearing and watching the waves crashing, the sun rising in the flaming sky as the backdrop.

“It’s not fair your stupidly romantic shit is making me cry,” you sniffed.

He kissed the side of your neck, his right hand on your tummy moved up to cup your left cheek, swiping at some of the wetness with his thumb.

“Lo siento por hacerte llorar, pero no he terminado (I’m sorry for making you cry, but I’m not finished).”

“Please continue. It’s not like you’ll make me cry any harder.”

You could hear him smiling when he started talking again. “Mi sueño para donde estaremos en cinco años es que estemos casados, viviendo en la casa de sus sueños que he construido para ti, rodeado de tantos niños como quieras, que estemos criando juntos (My dream for where we’ll be in five years is that we’re married, living in your dream home that I’ve built for you, surrounded by as many kids as you want that we’re raising together). Quiero eso (I want that). Quiero que eso se convierta en una realidad (I want that to become a reality). Quiero hacer mis sueños realidad y convertirme en tu esposo (I want to make my dreams come true and become your husband).”

Gasping, your head turned to look at him, his hand leaving your face, realizing this was a proposal.

“Javi,” you whispered, your breath stuttering as teardrops streamed down your cheeks, your lip trembling. “Are we practicing?”

There’d been a few practice proposals, the rules for the real thing being that Javi had to do it, and there needed to be a ring. Being on the beach, with the rolling waves and the rising sun, made this the perfect location and time for him to do it, but there didn’t seem to be a ring…

“Sigue mirando el amanecer, mi amor (Keep watching the sunrise, my love).”

With a nod, you faced forward again and immediately jolted in shock, your palm covering your mouth, stifling your loud gasp.

In front of you, Javi held up with one hand an open white leather ring box containing a gold band with a decent-sized princess cut diamond in the middle and two smaller ones on either side.

It was beautiful.

And he was actually doing it.

This was the real thing.

It was finally happening, and your body was shaking with sobs, the tears from earlier turning into full-on ugly crying because you were so happy and overcome with emotion.

“Te amo tanto, para siempre no sería suficiente tiempo para pasar contigo (I love you so much forever wouldn’t be enough time to spend with you),” Javi continued, sounding choked up. “Soy tuyo hasta que respire por la última vez, y seguiré siendo tuyo cuando mi alma deje esta tierra (I am yours until my last breath, and I will still be yours when my soul leaves this earth). La muerte no nos mantendrá separados (Death won’t keep us apart); Nos volveremos a encontrar (We’ll meet again). Buscaré en el cosmos y en los cielos hasta encontrarte porque no puedo vivir sin ti (I will search the cosmos and the heavens until I find you because I cannot live without you); eres mi otra mitad, mi media naranja, y me haces completo (you are my other half, my soulmate, and you make me whole). No hay yo sin ti (There is no me without you).”

“Me haces feliz de una manera que nadie más puede (You make me happy in a way that no one else can). Me haces sentir amado (You make me feel loved). Te preocupas por mí, y por todo eso, tienes todo mi amor y total devoción, y quiero dedicarte cada pieza de mí mismo, cuerpo y alma a ti (You care about me, and for all that, you have all of my love and total devotion, and I want to dedicate every piece of myself, body and soul, to you). Mi Cielito, mi amor, mi vida, mi alma, mi todo ¿me hariás el hombre más feliz del mundo, te casarías conmigo (My Cielito, my love, my life, my soul, my everything, you’d make me the happiest man in the world, will you marry me)?”

Nodding your head, you answered through tears, “¡Por supuesto que sí (Yes, of course)! ¡Un millón de veces sí (A million times, yes)!”

He paused for a second. “Really?” he asked softly.

His surprise sobered you up to the point you frowned and stopped crying, shaking off his hand holding yours to turn around, sitting on your knees between his legs.

His eyes were rimmed with red, tear tracks streaking beneath them down his cheeks. You held his face in your hands, your gaze on his.

“Now, you listen here, Javier Jesús Peña López: I. Am. Marrying. You. You proposed with a ring, and I said yes. I. Said. Yes.” You poked him in the middle of the chest. “We’re getting married. I want to marry you, so please put that gorgeous fucking ring on my finger so we can make out.”

“Right, shit,” he said, fumbling to take the ring out in front of you, the box falling once he had it between his fingers. He grabbed your left hand, sliding the ring onto your ring finger, and it fit perfectly.

You were staring at it, the diamonds sparkling in the early morning light.

“It’s so beautiful,” you said, your vision muddled from the water brimming in your eyes.

“It was my mom’s.”

Your gaze snapped to his. “Your mom’s?”

He was smiling softly. “Yeah. She would’ve wanted you to have it, and Pop agreed; he had it cleaned the day after he met you.” His hand held yours, sliding his thumb over the ring, and you wept, the teardrops slowly falling. “He gave me his blessing to have it altered because the original center diamond was very modest—he worked on the ranch for the previous owner in high school to help out mis abuelos (my grandparents), and once he realized he was going to marry my mom, he started saving a little bit of his paychecks for years until he had enough to buy her a ring he felt proud about her wearing; he wanted me to feel proud when you showed it off, too. The rest is the same aside from being adjusted to your size.”

You were looking down at where his thumb was moving over each diamond, back and forth, knowing the ring's history making you feel incredibly emotional.

“She wore this?”

“Yeah.”

Your shoulders shook. “It’s perfect,” you said. “She’ll always be with us.”

Javi had tears wetting his cheeks as he smiled. “Yeah, she will.”

The sentiment had the floodgates letting loose and made you start to bawl, throwing your arms around his neck and shoving your face in his throat as you hugged him, his arms wrapping around you to hold you close. He comforted you while you happily sobbed.

You were just so unbelievably happy with everything that happened—the proposal was better than you ever could have dreamed, and the fact he’d done it with his mother’s ring was making you an absolute mess. It meant so much to you that Chucho and Javi felt Antonia would want you to have it, silently promising her as you held her son that for as long as you lived, he would be loved, cherished, and you’d take good care of him.

When you finally started calming down, you said into his skin, sounding stuffed up, “There’s not this much gross crying when people get engaged on TV or in movies. Like, who’d wanna make out with someone whose face is wet from snot and tears?”

He chuckled, rubbing a hand along your spine. “I would.”

Sitting up, you met his eyes with a frown. “I feel too icky.”

“Hold on.” He leaned to dig into the tote bag beside him and brought out a small square box of tissues, presenting it to you.

“Connie?” you asked as you pulled two from the top.

“Yeah.”

You were wiping your face. “We should get her a fruit basket—one of the fancy chocolate-dipped ones.” The tissues were discarded for another to blow your nose, thinking this had to be the peak of romance.

“We’ll do that. I was gonna get Steve a nice bottle of whiskey, but with what he did to the bed, he’s not getting shit now.” The box of tissues was set down.

You snorted, your face finally clean and hands free. “You’ll get back at him somehow. Now—” You moved to straddle his lap with your arms going over his shoulder and fingers threading into his hair. “—I’d like to make out with my fiancé.” His white collar caught your attention. “I’m surprised for such a special occasion, you didn’t match your shirt to mine.”

He was smirking, his hands coming up to slide along your cheeks before cradling them. “It’s because—” Gently, he pulled you forward, kissing the tip of your nose, then nuzzling it with his own. “—I’m wearing the same outfit I wore on our first date.” His lips found yours in a passionate kiss, remembering him sitting in the bar on your first date in his white button-up under the black leather jacket and jeans, and that it was exactly what he wore here—all of the thought he put into this morning making you go so soft you were practically goo as you melted into him, pressing yourself closer, and allowing his tongue to plunder your mouth.

Happiness was wafting off the both of you, the sun shining in an orange glow behind you as the waves crashed and rolled.

Javier Peña was your person—he was the love of your life, your soulmate, your best friend, and his newest title, your fiancé.

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#pedro pascal #javier peña #Javier Peña/reader #javier peña x reader #javier peña x you #javier peña x y/n #wheresarizona writes #learning to live series

[moonstruckme]

Hi Mae! I absolutely adore you and your writing, you truly have a gift!

Can I please request something with James Potter where readers anxiety is really bad and is super emotional cause pms and is just kinda struggling and needs to be dealt with the most gently? Totally not projecting much at all lol 😬😫🤣

Totally no pressure if you don’t feel up to it! I love reading anything you write ❤️❤️

Hi lovely, thanks so much!!

James Potter x fem!reader ♡ 772 words

“Here y’go, love.” James presses a mug’s handle into your hands, and you take it quickly once you realize he’s holding the hot sides. 

“James!” you hiss, chiding. “You’re going to burn yourself.”

Only James Potter could make a shrug seem fond. He sits down beside you on the couch, hand resting on your thigh, and the knee you hadn’t realized you’d been jiggling slows to a stop. 

“What’s eating you?” he asks mildly, rubbing you from knee to hip as he sips his tea, quietly hinting for you to do so as well. 

You sigh, blowing on your tea before raising it to your lips. “Nothing so important I should be this stressed about it,” you say bitterly. “It’s just PMS.” 

You hate how your hormones mess with you around this time of the month. It makes it feel like you can’t trust yourself, because you’re never sure if the emotions you’re experiencing are valid or amplified by your body’s punishing cycle. Your already oversensitive nerves go into overdrive, and you feel three times as susceptible to bouts of rage or crying, though which one it’ll be is as good as a coin toss. Everything is just more, and all the time, and it sucks. 

James makes a sad puppy sound. “Yeah? Are you hurting, honey?” 

“Not really.” You have a headache, but that’s probably more due to your anxiety than anything else. 

“Well, why don’t you try telling me what’s bothering you,” James suggests. “Even if you think it’s not a big deal, maybe I can help.” 

You sigh again, a heaving, dramatic exhale. “Macy’s having a birthday party this weekend.” 

That surprises a smile out of James, and he tilts his head to look at you bemusedly. “Oh, how nefarious! Shall we curse her?” 

You give him a look that says not funny, even as your own lips curl up slightly. James smothers his grin as best he can (which is to say, not very well), nodding at you seriously to continue. 

“I just—” you heave another sigh, and James’ hand redoubles its efforts on your leg, squeezing the fatty inner part encouragingly. “I’m not going to know anyone there, and I’m going to have to go straight after work on Friday, and she and her friends always stay out so much later than I want to. I just know I’m going to be exhausted.” 

“Okay.” James is nodding, still looking slightly confused. “So don’t go.” 

“But it’s her birthday,” you say, the last syllable taking an unexpected turn into whiny territory as your eyes grow wet. “I don’t have an excuse to miss it and I’ll be the worst friend in the world if I do.” 

“Sweetheart, hey.” James’ voice takes on a slight panicked edge due to the appearance of tears, though you can tell he’s trying to be soothing. His hand abandons your leg to snake around your waist, scrubbing up and down your side. “Honey, you’re a great friend. You’re just looking out for yourself a little bit,” he promises, kissing the top of your head. “Let’s think about who’s going to be more upset, alright? If you miss it, Macy might be a bit sad you didn’t come, but she’s still got all of her other friends who don’t know you anyway, and the party will probably go on as it would have. But if you go, you’ll have to hurry there straight after work, you might be too tired to be much fun, and you could end up miserable the whole night. Sound right?” You nod wretchedly, and he hums into your hair. “So just miss this one, and make it up to her with lunch or something another time, yeah?” At your hesitation, he adds, “You have plans Friday night, you can’t make it.” 

You look up at James. “I don’t have plans, though. I don’t want to lie to her.” 

“Sure you do, sweetheart,” he contradicts you, grinning. “You have plans with me, duh. You’ve only been friends with Macy for a couple months, right?” You nod. “Well then sorry, Macy, but I’m pulling rank.” You laugh, and James swoops down to kiss at your dimple when it appears. “I need my girl for Friday night. She’s pre-engaged.” 

James can never stop kissing once he’s gotten started, and you hide your cheek from him in his own chest, wrapping your arms around his waist in an awkward sort of hug. “Thanks, Jamie.” 

You can still hear the smile in his voice. “Anytime, my love. Now, since that’s been resolved, do you think you can drink your tea? It’s gonna get cold.”

#james potter #james potter x reader #james potter x fem!reader #james potter x y/n #james potter x you #james potter x self insert #james potter fanfiction #james potter fanfic #james potter fic #james potter fluff #james potter imagine #james potter oneshot #james potter drabble #james potter one shot #james potter scenario #marauders #marauders era #the marauders #marauders fanfiction #marauders fanfic #marauders fic #the marauders era #marauders fandom #hp marauders

[gatorbites-imagines]

Male Reader spanking zoro after he put himself in danger? But zoro is still defending himself so reader becomes actually angry at zoro for not thinking about himself (or reader and how reader would live without him) and leaves zoro in the middle of the punishment before he says something he regrets and avoids zoro the next few days until the crew is like "this can't go on" and traps them together for an entire day in a room. They both break easily and end up cuddling for the most part (after some creampies)

Roronoa Zoro x male reader

headcanons

I love Zoro so much, its not even funny anymore.

Punishing Zoro was a chore in an of itself, since hes such a tough guy used to most types of pain. This also leads to him being very into painplay, so most usual methods of punishments don’t work on him.

It would take a lot of spanking to get Zoro to buckle, which is why he easily talks back when you do end up spanking him as punishment. Normally you would do something more advanced, mixing it with something else, but this time you are so worked up about almost losing him that you don’t have the energy.

Even as you scold him and tell him what a dumb idea it was to jump into danger like that, Zoro stats resolute in his decision, just squaring his shoulders and stabilizing his stance, letting you take your hand or paddle or whatever you’re using on him.

It ends up having the opposite effect of what you’re going for, since Zoro is probably still running on adrenaline from the fight you just got back from. Instead of making him cry and apologize, it has him shuddering and moaning, eye clenching shut as he tries to push his hips back at you.

But even then, he still defends what he did, even when you say you could have lost him, since its his duty as the strawhats swordsman and first mate.

It makes you so angry and makes your heart hurt so much you know you just need to step back before you say or do something you’ll regret, so you just lift your hands, step back, and leave with an angry exhale.

After being left wanting and shuddering like that, Zoro probably starts to feel kinda petty and wronged too, cuz he doesn’t see why you are so worked up about what he did.

So, you two start avoiding each other, and the ship gets super tense for literally everyone, especially since neither you or Zoro will tell the rest of the crew what is up. They all just know you two probably had a fight, and a bad one at that with how you guys are acting.

It starts to take a toll on the rest of the crew when you guys’ won’t even be in the same room together, or even talk to each other. They know it’s especially bad when you guys stop sleeping in the room Franky built specifically for you two, when you became a couple.

The next time the crew needs to restock, its probably Luffy that ends up trapping you guys in your room together, as he doesn’t want his crew to fight, and cuz literally everyone has been walking on eggshells.

This results in you and Zoro being trapped inside your room the entire day as the crew it away getting supplies and whatever they do on new islands.

Theres a lot of tense silence as you both sit on either side of the room, not even looking at each other for a while. I’m not even sure who cracks first and starts talking, if you are just as stubborn as Zoro.

But one of you starts opening up about it, and you end up explaining how much it hurts that Zoro cares so little for his own safety, and that he would just leave you behind so easily. Zoro, whos never really thought about it that deeply, feels his heart break that you thought he didn’t love you enough to want to stay.

Cue Zoro saying some super heartfelt thing about how you mean so much to him, and one of the reasons he tries to hard to keep the crew safe is cuz he loves you so much. He isn’t the best with words, but he gets it out in a way that has your heart warming up.

It ends up with you guys actually talking about your emotions, and with you two tumbling into bed together, kissing like you haven’t seen each other in months. Its surprisingly soft from both of you, kissing and touching and being so loving.

The breath is completely knocked out of you when Zoro starts riding you, because how couldn’t it, having all 198 lb. of muscular swordman bouncing up and down on your cock, his callused hands gripping at your shoulders or chest.

Zoro takes riding you as serious as any of his other exercise, his eye serious and face flushed as he uses just his thighs to lift and lower himself, not even letting you help in thrusting up into him. You just end up holding his hips and groping his torso, going along with the ride.

You guys are probably lucky that the entire crew is off the ship, or else they’d hear how loud Zoro moans when you hit his prostate and take his pecs into your mouth at the same time. You’ll probably end up with a headache from how hard he pulls your hair though, he loses track of his strength sometimes when riding you.

You get exhausted much longer before Zoro does, overstimulation sending electricity through your entire body as Zoro keeps riding you, even when your first load is squelching right out of him around your shaft.

Hes a beast, but he’s your beast, and if being sucked dry like a juice box is what it takes, you’ll happily do it. It just ends up with you feel extra dehydrated and shaky legged. This is why you normally wring him out in the beginning, so you can keep up with his insane stamina.

After Zoro has had his fill and painted your torso white with his own spend, he flops down beside you and buries his face into your neck, just inhaling you and needing you close.

You would end up clinging to him too, mumbling something about how you don’t wanna lose him, to which Zoro replies that you wont if he has anything to say about it.

Cue lots of softer and loving kisses and caresses, sweet words mumbled just between lovers, before you guys fall asleep. Zoro most likely ends up asleep first, for once completely asleep instead of the type of half naps he normally takes.

When the crew returns later, some of them will be able to guess immediately what you guys were up too, especially if your knees are still feeling weak from how much Zoro drained you.

But you guys are talking and back to acting like you normally do, so that’s all that matters. I could see Nami teasing you guys about it though, whilst Robin just laughs a little to herself because its entertaining.

#male reader #roronoa zoro #one piece #op #roronoa zoro imagine #roronoa zoro headcanon #roronoa zoro x reader #roronoa zoro x male reader #one piece imagine #one piece headcanon #one piece x male reader #one piece x reader #op imagine #op headcanon #op x male reader #op x reader #one piece smut #op smut #roronoa zoro smut

[aprils2ndhandshop]

hi i love your blog, your writing is so good! may i request what type of arguments the ‘03 boys would have with their s/o? like what would the argument be about? are they upset for a long or short amt of time? how do they make up with their s/o? hopefully that makes sense, thank you!

Arguments w/the boys ‘03

All 4!

Summary: what I think the boys are like during arguments with their favorite girl.

Hi friend! Thank you for your request and the super sweet words! Sorry for the long wait, love you!

Michelangelo;

Mikey definitely isn’t one to start or enjoy fighting with you… with his brothers, duh! But not with you.

The fights he starts -if one could even call them fights, are small, light-hearted and innocent. He is essentially just pulling your leg and trying to be a pain.

“Y/n! You can’t just walk past the t.v mid play! You made me lose the game!”

“I think you lost the game because you chose to focus on throwing pillows at me instead of playing your stupid game!”

Those fights don’t last long as the moment he thinks it’s actually stressing you out, he stops.

“I’m kidding angel! I’m kidding!”

He makes up for it every time with a kiss on the cheek too.

Generally, you’re the one who has to start the fights with him - even if he’s the one with a problem.

And trust me, he may not flat out say he has a problem with you but he sure can’t hide it.

Que the slight pouting and undeniable tension on his part. He can’t fake his feelings ever.

And don’t forget all the passive aggressive, smart ass remarks he makes under his breath when he’s annoyed.

Fights with Mikey are rare but when they do happen there is a common theme, a need for your attention.

Remember, Mikey is a needy boyfriend. It has pros and cons.

Pros - he’s doting, always makes sure you know just how much he cares, always makes time for you, remembers important dates and puts in all the effort a boyfriend should.

Cons - a bit too clingy.

“I feel like you don’t ever want to see me anymore, like you just come around to make me happy.”

“Why do you even think that, Mikey?”

“Because! I wish you wanted to see me as much as I want to see you!”

Fights with him never last long, ever! He’s the kinda guy that refuses to go to bed knowing you’re sad.

He also spoils you rotten after :) Gifts, food, foot rubs, everything!

Raphael;

Raph is a nightmare to fight with and we all know on some level, he loves to fight. More with Leo than anyone but still.

In regards to arguing with you, it definitely lies in a strange grey zone for him. He hates making you upset but also has a bad habit of enjoying a good conflict.

He hates that about himself.

Not to mention how bad he is at holding his tongue.

“I’m pissed, okay? I’m mad and I need to get away from you before I say stuff I don’t mean!”

“I don’t want you to go out there and get hurt!”

“You don’t get it! I’m not like you! I’ve been fighting my whole life and it’s hard for me to just stop!”

In the midst or after every fight, he disappears for a couple of hours. Cooling off is essential for you two to figure out the problem.

Surprisingly, fights between you and Raph are rare. Partially because he’s working on anger management but mostly because he tends to lock his emotions inside before having a massive blow up.

Once he’s calmed down, he always goes straight to you, full of shame.

“Hey baby.”

“Hey.”

One of the best parts about Raph as a boyfriend is how self perceptive he is, he always apologizes for what he did wrong and fully understands why it was wrong.

“I promise I’ll be better to you, and that I learned from my fuck ups, y/n/n.”

After fights, he’s a lot more affectionate with you and uncharacteristically, even keeps that energy in front of his brother.

Donatello;

Donnie and fighting really doesn’t mix well, it’s rare but when it does happen it’s always over dumb stuff.

The arguments start more like debates, his nerdy side comes straight to the forefront as he feels the need to correct you on everything.

“Y/n! I’m proofreading the piece you wrote and look! Are you sure this is really the angle you wanna argue your point from, beautiful?”

Now that sounds pretty innocent but if Don is one thing, it’s a little bit condescending - not on purpose or with malicious intent but nonetheless, condescending he can be.

Things that may seem like no big deal can turn into tension and fighting for hours very quickly.

Typically, you are the one that starts the fight but usually because Don accidentally did something to start the fight.

“I feel like you’re nitpicking to make yourself feel so much better than me, Don. It’s so frustrating!”

“Look doll, I’m just trying to make sure your don’t come off a little bit… foolish.”

Donnie is definitely book smart, but emotionally smart, not so much.

He has a bad habit of saying mean stuff he doesn’t think is mean that ends up hurting your feelings.

And sometimes it takes awhile for him to notice.

“Y/n?… y/n?… hellooo y/n! Are you giving me the silent treatment? Why?!”

He is kinda clueless about this stuff.

But when he does catch on, he’ll do the most mature thing and approach you to hear you out.

He’ll be engaged and ask all the important questions so he knows how he hurt your feelings and can properly apologize.

“You’re the smartest girl I know! I misspoke, I just wanted to be useful to you, sweet girl.”

Leonardo;

Okay hear me out on this one!! And don’t ever make any assumptions about thee Leonardo.

This man is whipped and it pretty much makes him incapable of starting a fight with you ever.

He will let you get away with just about anything and approaches any and all rough topics with you so gently.

“You don’t seem entirely like yourself, angel. Are you feeling okay?”

Even if your response is snappy, he is always gentle in his language and tone.

“Can I do something to help you, y/n/n?”

Fights between the two of you need to be started by you but that doesn’t necessarily mean he’ll fight back much.

Everything you would expect to happen, expect the opposite.

You give him the silent treatment, he’ll give you some space and come around later to talk it out.

You full on snap and scream at him, he’ll let you take out all your anger on him and tell you he understands why you are mad.

Complete princess treatment with him.

But don’t think he’ll always agree with you, absolutely not. He’s just patient and explains his point of view rationally.

“I really do love and understand you, y/n, but you have to learn to express yourself with me better. I don’t want to fight with you, because baby, I’m always on your side anyway.”

Sometimes fights with Leo can last pretty long, at least in comparison to Mikey and Don - but only because he backs off and gives you space.

When the arguments finally subside, Leo continues his princess treatment for you.

He just becomes even more affectionate than he usually is.

Missed you guys, hope you are all good!

#tmnt #tmnt 2003 #tmnt x reader #teenage mutant ninja turtles imagines #teenage mutant ninja turtles x reader #tmnt raphael x reader #tmnt headcanons #tmnt michelangelo #tmnt donatello #tmnt imagine

[persephoneflowerpetals]

Disney Hades x Pregnant Reader Headcanons

Back at it again with some more headcanons lol! I simply adore my f/os being all domestic, so this was really fun to write! And as always, these headcanons are pretty self indulgent lol. Enjoy!

He doesn’t believe it at first because he’s so in shock, so once you tell him you’ll have to say it again for him to really get it lol

He kinda always wanted an heir to his domain (even though he complains about hating the place and wanting to rule on Olympus instead)

Now that he knows you’re pregnant he’s all about preparing for the baby to come

He gets a little nursery ready and attempts to baby-proof the place as much as he can (he’s not completely successful since the underworld is so big and dangerous, but he wants to make sure the baby stays safe when it starts learning to walk and crawl)

He also comes up with tons of names for the kid and will constantly suggest them when they pop into his head

“Hey, babe. How does Dionysus sound? A girl name? I dunno, I’m still thinking about that, but it should definitely be a name as pretty as yours that’s for sure.”

This god is more than willing to become your faithful servant during your pregnancy

Got a certain craving that’s hard to find? Don’t even worry about it, he’ll find a way to get it for ya

Feeling sore and achy? One massage and living heating pad (aka him) coming up!

Also he won’t let you do much while you’re pregnant

No picking up heavy stuff, no chores, no work, only rest and relaxation for you

If you actually want to do some things he won’t let you do then just let him know, it’ll take some convincing because he’s stubborn and hard-headed, but he’s nuts for ya, so he’ll give in eventually lol

Also this god is super clingy when he learns you’re pregnant

He is by your side almost 24/7 to make sure you’re okay

He’s constantly checking on you and making sure you’re happy and comfortable (that’s mainly his anxious side coming out because he’s really nervous about having a baby)

Hades is gonna have a lot of pent up emotions about all of this (mainly anxious and apprehensive feelings), so you may want to talk with him about it if he looks stressed

He didn’t have the best dad growing up (I mean, he literally tried to eat him and his brothers) and he doesn’t know anything about kids or babies, so he’s really nervous that he’s gonna mess up and become a horrible parent to his kid

Please reassure him! He really needs to hear good things from somebody (especially you)!

If you start getting nauseous and getting morning sickness he’ll totally be there for you holding back your hair (if you have long hair lol), wiping your face, and giving you water

Also if you get sick somewhere he’ll get Pain and Panic to clean it up lol

And if you get sick on him by accident, well that’s okay too, he knows you can’t help it

This dude eats worms and spends his days with dead, slimy souls floating in a river, so he can handle some vomit lol

If you’re in “nesting mode” as he calls it and you just want to nap for most of the day then he’ll make sure the place is absolutely silent so you can rest

He may have Pain and Panic guarding the bedroom door while you rest if he has to work or go somewhere while you’re resting, but if they get too loud he’ll get angry

Honestly, if anybody’s too loud he’ll get angry and pretty much just roast them (if he ends up waking you up from that he’ll feel bad and profusely apologize)

He will wake you up when it’s time for a meal, though, but he’s alway super gentle about it

He’s constantly checking on you to make sure you’ve eaten or have had enough to drink, he wants to make sure you and the baby are healthy at all times

Not only does this dude dote on you, but he spoils you like crazy (as if he doesn’t already when you’re not pregnant lol)

Lots of soft, fluffy pillows and blankets for you to sleep on

Hot bubble baths so you can relax

Top quality meals

Anything you desire is yours, only the best for you, babe, no expenses spared

He always has to be touching your baby bump when he’s around you, it’s just the way he is

He’s a very handsy god, so he already touches you all time time anyways, but when you’re pregnant his hands are constantly on you in almost an overprotective way

Even while he’s sleeping with you he’ll just always have his hand on your belly as if it’s instinct

He also loves to “gossip” with the baby

He’ll lay with you while he rubs your baby bump and talks to the baby about his day or the other gods or stuff that ticks him off

“What do you mean they can’t hear me? Of course they can hear me! Now where was I? Oh yeah, so Zeus says-“

Oh and he totally freaks out when he feels his first kick

“Did you feel that!? They just kicked! What a little fighter, huh!? Gonna be tough just like their dad! I’ll have to teach you how to beat up kids on the playground!”

And if you think he’s all riled up now, you should see him when the baby comes lol

#hercules #disney #hercules 1997 #disney hades #hades #hades disney #hades hercules #disney’s hercules #hades x reader #disney hades x reader #x reader headcanons #headcanons #disney villain x reader #pregnant reader #domestic headcanons

[crushedsweets]

I loved the ask about ticciwork what it would be like if they were able to date! Now I was wondering what that would be like with Jack and Toby!

Though I’m not sure if they have the same chemistry as ticciwork. 😭

Btw you have forever engraved ninakate to my soul LMAO I love them so much!! ❤️

I ABSOLUTELY CAN i think theyre super cute + i have a really sweet ticcijack ask i wanna draw soon. im gonna go off on a tangent about their upbringing and how that'd impact their sexuality tho, cuz i think that'd be relevant .

this was written more like notes for a one-shot of them getting together, rather than the format i did for ticciwork

ok. so for starters, toby has a huge wall to get over. i dont really have sexuality hcs for many of the creeps (jane and kate r lesbians, lius a gay man, ninas bi are my only concrete hcs) BUT i know toby's upbringing involved his dad constantly demeaning him for being 'feminine' (anytime he did something with lyra), a pussy, calling him slurs, telling him to man up, insulting any gay man he might see on tv, etc. and toby hates his dad, so he'd have an easy time being like 'ok whatever old man like i give a shit if a guy fucks a guy' BUT he would still feel a ton of guilt and shame if he were attracted to a guy.

jack might be a little similar, not because his dad was constantly berating him, but he still grew up in a pretty traditional house and his uncles/cousins would often tease him cuz he liked to cook and bake and had a lot of empathy. but he also went to university, and while it was still in alabama, a lot of colleges and stuff are a lot more progressive so it wasn't something he dwelled on much. live and let live, basically

AND AS A RESULT, it would be MUCH harder for either of them to make a move. toby would push any feelings down so fucking fast, and jack would just shrug it off and say he doesn't have like.. the "right" to have such emotions. after all he's done.

but they've also had a ton of intimate moments. the amount of times toby's been sat in his boxers while jack has to stitch up his stomach is kinda obnoxious. the amount of times jack checks toby's temperature and scolds him for dumb shit. toby scoffing and grabbing jacks wrist to pull his hand off, but his touch lingers

jack wears his mask a lot, but toby would make a comment. "i wanna see what you look like. it cant be THAT bad." and then jacks like ? asshole. so toby backtracks and is like "ok but if it is bad, thats kinda cool" and jacks like 'dude shut up'. but then toby would try and go on about 'im serious man you're over here stitching me up every other week and im practically the only person you talk to. let me see' and jack thinks about it. maybe not that day, but eventually he would.

if toby has already kinda come to terms with liking guys, OR he's so oblivious to his own feelings, he might say something stupid like "oh shit you're hot dude why do u wear that stupid ass mask" and jack would get embarrassed. and try to put it back on, but toby would snatch it and toss it on some counter and say "ok well now i know so stop wearing it" and jacks like. ok. fuck you. fine.

and toby stares a lot. like. a lot a lot. and jack kind of knows. the echolocation and thermavision helps him know toby's head is turned his way, but he can't exactly pinpoint where toby's eyes are. but he keeps turning away

toby would eventually just ask 'you gotta know im looking at you , right?' and jack is like ...well i thought so. thanks for confirmation. and toby laughs it off but jack is getting embarrassed

jacks feelings would develop slowly and he'd recognize every single moment he feels something. tobys would develop more rapidly, but he has no fucking idea what he's feeling is romantic. he thinks jacks attractive as fuck, he likes intelligent people, he likes how jack challenges tobys toxic ass mindset (only after the fact, hates it in the moment), and jack does a lot for him. patches him up, cooks him good meals.

the ask i mentioned said something about jack touching toby's lip and toby keeps looking at jacks lips and theres crazy tension etc etc etc. i genuinely dont know who would kiss who first.

if it were jack, toby would sit there kinda stunned, and jack would pull away and fumble out an apology. then toby tells him to do it again. and again, and again.

if it were toby, jack would immediately kiss back. he's had it on his mind for a long time, but genuinely didnt think anything would come.

toby would ask what now. he wants jack to set some sort of guidelines. he hates rules but holy shit does he not know how to navigate this, not with jack. jack would shrug it off and theyd try not to talk about it. toby might not come back to see jack for a while, but end up really hurt and dragged there to get his arm popped back into place. and jack would have to ask why he stopped visiting.

toby would admit it, finally. something about 'because i fucking like you and its really fucking weird and i dont wanna ruin the whole medic patient pal thing we got going on but this entire fucking time ive been avoiding you, im thinking about you a hundred times more'. and jack would ask why he thinks its weird. and theyd talk for a while

jack would ask toby if he could kiss him again, and toby would say yes.

#asks #ticcijack #creeped #theyre cute..... damn... #ticci toby #eyeless jack

[queenofcoquette]

emotional regulation

introduction:

i think a big problem we all go through is not knowing how to properly regulate how we’re feeling. in the world we see this when customers raise their voices and yell at people doing their job, relationships that have meaningless screaming matches that lead to nothing good. overall, just people losing their temper and making their bad feelings someone elses problem.

this has definitely been a huge problem of mine. being rude to my family because i was just so sad i had no patience and was snarky. manically posting on this account as a way of getting ‘help.’ i still have a lot of work to do, but i’ve made it a big focus of mine to always be calm.

reflection

reminder. it’s okay to be upset about something- but it’s not okay to direct that towards someone who has nothing to do with it. for example, it’s okay to be stressed out from life, but it’s not okay to direct that into anger towards some random person.

reflect. when you have a quiet moment take time to think about how your thoughts/actions affect you and the people around you. don’t beat yourself up over it, just be aware and then work to improve this.

self awareness. the first step is self awareness. you kinda just need a point where you think “this is a problem” this self awareness runs deeper- when you get upset you need to be aware of your thoughts, how you want to react.

habits to introduce:

healthy venting. keeping a vent journal literally changed my life without a doubt. when i get super emotional and irrational i write down all these thoughts instead of saying them and hurting people. if i’m angry then i write about it, if i’m sad or insecure, it goes right in my journal. it’s a release and it feels good to put your thoughts out in a way that doesn’t hurt anyone.

healthy habits. practice mindful breathing, meditation, positive affirmations, journalling- something that helps you! stay consistent with your routines and continue to practice mindfulness. be self aware.

practicing patience. this goes hand in hand with self awareness. when you’re feeling your emotions building up take deep breaths and try to rationalize. it’ll take work at first, but in time it’ll become your natural response.

in conversations/real life:

deep breaths! it’s easy to be impatient but when you’re feeling that way just keep breathing and remind yourself to stay calm. it takes some work but this is effective.

avoid interrupting. when you’re talking to someone i know it’s easy to want to interrupt and prove them wrong, but even though it’s painful you need to give people time to speak, even if they’re being rude.

think before you say, phrase yourself carefully. in heated arguments it’s easy to express yourself incorrectly, so it’s important to think over your words and be cautious

what if it doesn’t work?

if you try all that and it doesn’t seem to work then it probably means something else. it could mean that you have a mental illness which can’t be solved with journalling or things like that. it’s important to seek the care that you need. these tips can’t solve mental illness, but paired with proper treatment it can make a big difference. if you’ve been staying consistent to the things i listed above for a while and they’re not working then i think it’d be best to talk to a doctor. 

conclusion

all in all, emotional regulation can be difficult- but it’s so important in our lives. ideally it should be taught to little kids, but if its not then we all need to work on it. always self-reflect on yourself and your behavior. understand the affects that your actions have on you and yourself. we got this :)

#that girl #that girl 2023 #self improvement #queenofcoquette

[amaesama]

Hi, I wanna request!<3 How would some of the pastas react to reader having a comfort stuffy they've had since a kid they cuddle with all the time?(plz include EJ, your version of Jack is really comforting)

~Thank youuu!<3

Hi! Thank you so much for the request, and sorry it took a while, I’ve been very busy :) this is an adorable idea, and I’m so happy that you like how I write Jack! I hope you like this!

𝐶𝑟𝑒𝑒𝑝𝑦𝑝𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑎’𝑠 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑎 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟 𝑤ℎ𝑜 ℎ𝑎𝑠 𝑎 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑡 𝑠𝑡𝑢𝑓𝑓𝑦

Characters: Eyeless Jack, Homicidal Liu, BEN Drowned, Bloody Painter, Ticci Toby, Judge Angels, Clockwork.

I wasn’t too sure on who else to include so I just chose some of my favourite characters, I hope that’s ok! :)

Eyeless Jack:

He’s a bit surprised when he first see’s it.

Like if you’re just walking around hugging it then he’ll be a bit confused, eventually he’ll pull you aside and ask if there’s any particular medical reason ,like anxiety, as to why you carry it around with you he’s always so eager to learn more about other peoples medical history and experiences, bless

If you say that it’s just a form of comfort he’ll be like ‘oh.’ And won’t press any more.

He totally wants to touch it.

He wants to touch it so bad.

But he has TALONS for nails so he doesn’t want to end up ripping yours so he keeps quiet about it, but it’s super hard to ignore the feeling of his eyes(or sockets… whatever) burning into you whenever you enter the room with your stuffy.

One day you’ll just have to confront him about it because god knows he won’t say anything himself, and he’ll explain that he was interested in your plushie but he’s afraid he can’t touch it as he’ll break it.

Please get him his own one.

He’ll still be worried about breaking it and he’ll think hugging it while he sleeps is weird so he’ll just sit it in his room and pet it every so often.

Homicidal Liu:

He thinks it’s sweet.

He’s not as socially awkward as Jack, and as he’s taken an interest as to why you carry it around with you all the time he’ll pull you aside and ask you about it.

His childhood was kinda robbed from him thanks Jeff and he’s glad that you yourself carry around something from your own childhood that brings you comfort, but he’s a little envious as he doesn’t have anything like that.

If you pick up on this and decide to get him one he’ll be really taken aback and be at a loss for words for a moment, he’ll hug it and then hug you.

He’ll also probably name it after you and say goodnight to it whenever he goes to bed, giving it a pat on the head and a boop on the nose.

I’m such a simp for Liu omg

Ticci Toby:

Another envious one.

Most of his childhood memories are filled with trauma that haunts him to this day, with hardly any rays of light in his otherwise gloomy life.

He’s jealous that there’s something you get find comfort in when all he has are nightmarish memories, and he feel’s guilty for thinking that so he won’t say anything.

After he first see’s you with it and finds out why you have it, he’ll avoid you for a bit.

He’ll only talk to you if you talk to him first, and THATS when he’ll admit that he’s jealous.

If you give him his own one then he’ll act all tough and be like ‘oh, thanks. I didn’t expect this,’ and then go to his room and hug the shit out of it.

It also helps comfort him when his Tourette’s is acting up and although he feels bad he may end up punching it one or two times by accident.

Bloody Painter|Helen Otis:

Is confusion.

He really doesn’t see why you carry it round with you all the time, he gets why you want to keep it but this??

This he does not get.

Even if you sit down and explain it to him he’s like ‘but it’s just a stuffed toy??’

He doesn’t mean any harm and he doesn’t intend to offend you in any way, he just genuinely is baffled by it.

Although he also had an unpleasant childhood, he isn’t too jealous that you carry good memories, and even if you get him his own one he won’t see it as anything more than an item. Sure, it’s cute and soft and he likes hugging it and using it to practice drawing from observation, he won���t form an emotional attachment to it.

BEN Drowned:

‘Omg I watched an anime like that once.’

It’s Diabolik Lovers.

That’s the anime.

You remind him of Kanato.

Fucking nerd.

BEN is a child, and although he tries to act like all grown up he still acts really childish, so he gets really excited when he see’s your plushie.

I feel like people forget that he’s like 12, he didn’t continue to age until he was 18, he is a literal foetus

He probably has his own somewhere and if you’re ever in his room he’ll show it to you and be like ‘yeah I just keep it for sentimental reasons, I don’t really do anything with it.’

He totally sleeps with it

Judge Angels:

Poor Dina.

Like Toby, Dina also didn’t have a good childhood and they were locked away from the world for most of their life, so the idea that you carry something like that with you is completely foreign to them.

However unlike Toby they’re not jealous, instead they want to know every detail on why you carry that particular one around. They want to know all the memories and everything like that.

They’ll tell you that they never had anything like that and will unknowingly guilt trip you into getting them one.

They’ll be so happy and claim that you’re matching and it’s honestly so sweet.

Clockwork:

‘Hey, I have one as well!’

Although Clockwork doesn’t have any emotional attachment to her plushy and it doesn’t remind her of any good childhood memories, she can certainly appreciate a bond formed through time as that is what she has.

She’ll ask you why this plushy in particular is important to you and will ask you questions like what it’s name is; she’s happy to have another plushy lover in the midsts.

If she ever comes and hangs out in your room she’ll say hello and goodbye to it.

Also her plushy is a bear that she stitched up for the ✨aesthetics✨

#creepypasta #creepypasta x reader #eyeless jack #helen otis #ticci toby #ben drowned #clockwork #judge angels #eyeless jack x reader #helen otis x reader #bloody painter x reader #bloody painter #ticci toby x reader #ben drowned x reader #clockwork x reader

[outivv]

Hi, can i ask for scenario/headcanons with dormleaders in which reader is feeling suicidal and just comes to them with seemingly tired/gloomy face and asks "would you take care of Grim if I'd die?" (if your request are still open and you're ok with the topic) also pls do it with comfort/fluff ending my broken heart needs it

Also sorry (and feel free too ignore me I would totally understand) if your request are closed and/or you're not ok with topic.

Here's the pic of my cat to brighten your day.

Synopsis: suicidal reader asks dorm leaders to take care of grim if anything happens to them

Warnings: heavy heavy talk of death/ suicide/ reader coming to any harm, if this triggers you please sit this post out, I want everyone to stay safe >:( (also this isn’t proofread but that’s less important than people’s mental/ physical safety)

Characters: dorm leaders

Pronouns for reader: gender neutral/ not mentioned

A/n: hello hello! Your cat is so adorable oh my god. Genuinely they look so fluffy and pretty :’). Also I am very very sorry that this took me so long to get to, but I hope you enjoy, and take care of yourself!!

— Riddle —

The moment you approach him he knows somethings wrong. Riddle isn’t very good with emotions, or social cues, but even he knows somethings up.

And he absolutely panics when you say “if anything ever happens to me, make sure grim is taken care of” he doesn’t show any signs of panic, because he has to stay calm so then you’ll stay calm, and/ or won’t get overwhelmed.

“I’m sorry [name] I don’t know what you mean?” He says, looking directly into your eyes. You can see the panic rising in his face, even if he’s trying his hardest not to show it. You repeat yourself, telling him again “if I die, or get hurt, or anything. Take care of grim.” Your voice stern now. Riddle sighs, not knowing what to do in this situation, and does what he can, leading you over to a couch to talk.

Instantly sits you down to talk, whether that’s you venting, or him trying to understand the situation better, or both, doesn’t matter, because it is a discussion you will absolutely have.

I think no matter the situation riddle will keep a close eye on you. Actively seeking you out at all hours of the day, and making sure you’re taken care of. He doesn’t want anything bad to happen to you because he deeply cares about you (especially if you’re considering yourself to be MC, then he very very much admires you)

— Leona —

Instantly no. Leona’s approach to this situation isn’t great, and I will absolutely say that, but it’s then best he knows because this is a hard subject for him.

“What?” Leona snarls. “I said, if… you know, something happens, would you please take care of grim?” Your focus on the ground now. “No.” Leona said, his brows furrowed, staring at you. “Please, I just want to make sure grim is safe, and I trust you the most.” Leona sits up fully now, the bed beneath you shifting to accommodate the movement. You often have pillow talks like these, Leona always pretends to be asleep but never actually is. “Nothing is, and will never happen to you.” Leona grabs your hand, and kisses the back of it.

Kinda is the tough love/ affection type of person, aka the type to say “I will murder you if you die”, and will make sure you know that nothing will ever happen to you around him.

Tried to make a routine with you, and take care of himself, and you much better. He starts skipping class less, keeping his room clean, makes sure he’s organized, all so then you’ll start doing the same, and feel better about yourself and your environment, which then would better your mood. (Idk if this makes sense, but basically he’s trying to take care of you, and make you happier by doing small things)

— Azul —

At first is like “yeah I’ll take care of grim, he’ll be the happiest cat in the world- WAIT WHAT DO YOU MEAN ‘IF SOMETHING HAPPENS TO YOU’????”

I think he’s kinda frozen when you walk in super gloomy already, let alone when you ask him to take care of grim if any harm comes to you. He does not know what to do in this scenario, and will very much just kinda blank for a minute, before turning very serious.

“[name]. Is someone threatening to harm you?” He says his attention turning to you, and away from his work, “because we will take care of them, if you wish.” His tone was sweet, but you knew his words held malice in them. “No… nothing like that I just… I don’t know” now what you were talking about hits him like a bus.

Once he really understands what you mean, he will reassure you in any way possible, that you aren’t going anywhere, except for home when Crowley find a way for that to happen.

I think that even jade and Floyd would get involved in some way to reassure, and comfort you, but azul would try to keep them out of it for the most part cause he knows how overwhelming they can be.

Azul understands what you feel, cause he’s felt it first hand, and I think he’d do his best to make you feel appreciated, and enjoy things, even if sometimes he’s a bit shy about it lmao

— Kalim —

Does understand the gravity of the situation. He realizes and notices that it’s serious, and that you’re upset by it, but doesn’t truly understand what you mean, by “if something happens to you” and what the something would be.

“[name] what do you mean?? Are you ok?? Is someone after you?? Do we need to take care of them??” Kalim asks question after question. It becomes overwhelming easily, but kalim as a whole can be overwhelming. “No no- I just…” you sigh, “if I were to die, for… whatever reason, please… take care of grim. Keep him safe.” He still doesn’t know what you mean, but he now understands how serious it is.

I don’t think anyone tells him what exactly you mean, because for him ignorance is bliss, but he’ll eventually figure it out in his own, and when he does he is mad. You’ve never seen him so mad. And he’s mad, because you didn’t tell him for so long (however long he didn’t figure it out for), and he is so scared, and so upset.

I think he’s very emotional, and very physically affectionate, and very much just clingy. Which, depending on who you are could be a good or bad thing.

— Vil —

Very much can pick up on body language, and emotions, and he instantly knows what’s up when you walk towards him with a very gloomy aura around you. And instantly comforts you, cause he knows what’s up almost instantly. You quite literally didn’t even have to say anything and he just “so why are you suicidal.”

Comforts you in every way imaginable, vil knows exactly what you need, and when you need it too, he’s very very attentive already, and now that he knows somethings wrong, he’s gonna pay extra close attention.

There’s not much to vil for this one, cause I do think that he’d just know what’s up immediately, and start trying to help you in every way he can.

— Idia —

Idia is bad with basic human emotions, he definitely does not know what to do in this situation and it really makes him anxious. Not the topic itself, but the fact that he wants to do something, but doesn’t know what.

“Please take care of grim if anything happens.” You ask, your voice laced with sadness. Idia pauses his game, and turns his attention completely to you saying, “Oh… why? Is… are you ok?” Idia is already panicking, what does he do if you’re in trouble? He’s no match against some mid level boss fights, how’s he supposed to fight someone?! “Im just… I don’t know what’s gonna happen… and stuff… and if I go home then… where’s grim gonna go?” Now he gets it… he thinks.

I think Idia is kinda in the same boat as kalim, he doesn’t fully understand the gravity of the situation, until he figured out that you really were suicidal. He tries his best to give you more of his attention, and look after you a bit.

Probably has ortho check in on you a lot throughout the day, he just wants to know that you’re ok. If it makes you uncomfortable though he’ll tell ortho to stop.

— Malleus —

He’s like azul And kalim mixed?? Like he’s a little unaware, but he understands that there’s some seriousness to the situation. He instantly is like “who is it that’s threatening you. I will actually tear apart the whole world for you, child of man.”

I think you outright have to tell malleus that you are feeling suicidal, or else he’ll keep freaking out internally. And when you do tell him, he just “what.” Because he’s very very concerned :’). Will not let you leave his sight for the next three weeks. He’s so protective of you, be will do anything to make sure you’re safe.

Constantly comforts you and tells you how much he cherishes you, and he just wants to make sure you’re ok :’)

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #riddle #Leona #azul #kalim #vil #Idia #malleus #riddle x reader #leona x reader #azul x reader #kalim x reader #vil x reader #idia x reader #malleus x reader #riddle fluff #leona fluff #azul fluff #kalim fluff #vil fluff #idia fluff #malleus fluff #riddle headcanons #leona headcanons #azul headcanons #vil headcanons #idia headcanons

[lazycats-stuff]

Jason Todd

Jason Todd & child!male reader

Summary: could you do a jason todd x male child reader where somone is bothering reader when their out with jason and he just goes big brother mode. - REQUEST

Jason Todd x male!reader, PART 2

Ya it has to do with Jason Todd x Joker's son meeting in a club and alcohol heats things up between the two, maybe they had feeling for the other but ignored it? - REQUEST

Jason Todd & male!reader

I actually have another idea while I lay with my cat lol batfam/Jason Todd x brother reader (like he's the biological son of Bruce but a lil older than Damien) he has a close relationship with Jason compared to his other siblings and he ends up getting captured by Joker? - REQUEST

Jason Todd & male!reader, part 2

could you do jason todd having a younger brother from like willis’s side and jason just finds out they exist and just goes big brother bodyguard mode even tho his lil bro just vibing because jason has weapons - REQUEST

Jason Todd x male!reader

hi i got a request lol this is like my first time asking so i’m embarrassed☠️ but i was wondering if you could write something with a Spider-Man!anti-hero!reader and he’s in some fight with Red Hood, but they’re fighting near another fight where poison ivy’s fighting off some cops cuz she’s trynna escape from arkham and some of her aphrodisiacs/pheromone power from the plants get too close to where reader and red r fighting so they get intoxicated with it and yknow..also leading to some hate fucking. also with the added spinnerrette kink(that was RLLY embarrassing to write i’m so sorry if that sounds like a lot😭) but tysm !! - REQUEST

Jason Todd x male!reader

I was wondering if I could request Jason x Male reader who pushes Jason out of the way of an attack just on time but take the blow instead getting shot/stabbed in the gut. Maybe on the way to the hospital/or in surgery he has to be brought back.

But maybe somewhere at the end reader re-sure Jason that everything will be okay and just how much he loves him by covering him in soft lil kisses.

Jason Todd & child!male reader, PART 2

if ur requests are open could you do jason todd w brother reader whos like a baby baby, super young and the batfam is suprised he likes jason the most and jason gets really emotional when his first word is 'jay' - REQUEST

Jason Todd x male!reader

I was wondering if I could request a Jason Todd x Male reader who is a total bad ass, but finally gets the courage to show Jason. Reader teases Jason with a little belly dancing show, which may have made the night very hot and steamy? (Reader bottom) - REQUEST

Jason Todd x male!reader

Hello, good day/afternoon or night. I wanted to make a request if you don't mind. I would like it to be a jason todd x male reader, where the reader is of the same race as martian manhunter and that i worked with jason in the "outlaws" I would like to see the reader a little unsure of himself because of his Martian appearance and a protective and loving Jason. And that he shows it by making love in a tender and affectionate way and those things.

I hope not to be a nuisance. - REQUEST

Jason Todd x male!reader

You have given me an idea I was wondering if I could request Jason Todd x Male assassin reader like the trope villain x hero, who do you think would make the other turn into a flustered mess? - REQUEST

Jason Todd & male!reader

Hey, I'd love to request Jason x big brother reader, before Bruce adopted Jason he had a big brother who took care of him, but one day the reader kinda vanished and money just randomly appeared near Jason. The reader made some sketchy deal with someone in exchange for Jason to be taken care of. The reader was an experiment and got turned into some sort of monster (still a human silhouette but just a bit different, memories wiped, can't speak etc.) and years later, when Jason is red hood and on a mission with the batfam, they encounter the reader. Jason remembers the reader through some jewelry he gifted them, and he tries and helps the reader remember who they are.

Jason Todd x male!reader

Can i request anyone from batfam (you decide) x male reader that goes non-verbal when overwhelmed, which is quite often. The first time they met each other, the character asked a question and the reader just stared at them with a pure look of horror. The reader doesn't know ASL because he's too afraid to join a group and he freezes when he's overwhelmed so he can hardly lift a finger to talk.

Jason Todd x male!reader

Hello! Hope you're having a good day/night I was wondering if I could request Jason x male reader he's been going out with Jason and has been keeping alot of secrets from his past. But he's very loving and protective of Jason! Reader is covered in scars that he doesn't elaborate on how he got them. He has strange quirks like wearing gloves (never touching silver), tries hiding his nervousness around muzzles and cages and petrified of small confined spaces. Reader's a werewolf and has been for many years, being a werewolf means you're life will never find peace forever, that you'll be hunted down like a monster till eventually a hunter arrives that does kill you. Maybe at a gala something happens and reader gets poisoned resulting in him almost dying. Like maybe he took Jason's drink smelling something off about it and his protective instincts kick in, I can also imagine reader and titis being close friends, and trys to warn them that something wrong?

Jason Todd x male!reader

Hi! Can I request a Jason Todd x Male Reader where the reader and Jason are in a secret relationship and even Bruce doesn’t know. So one day, Jason thinks that his family is out, he invites the reader over and they have a make out session. In the middle of it, Jason’s siblings come home, and they black mail him (like normal sibling blackmailing)

Jason Todd x male!reader

i was wondering if you’d like to write a Jason Todd x male!reader(gender neautral is fine too)who’s also a vigilante magic user! Jason meets Y/N as red hood first on patrol and eventually meets them out of costume at a book store(doesn’t know Y/N is magic user vigilante yet). Jason is entranced by “both” of them. Is it magic or chemistry?

Jason Todd x male!reader

Jeason todd x Wednesday Addams male reader please

#jason todd x male reader #x male reader #dc x male reader #dc comics #red hood x male reader

[anonymous-dentist]

I’m very interested in q!Bagi and the relationship she thinks she has with q!Cellbit, because I think she’s still sure that she and Roier know Cellbit better than anyone else on the island.

But then she says stuff like this, and you can see how she just really kinda doesn’t know him at all.

Because… he isn’t insane, not in the way she thinks he is, as in he’s out of control and overly emotional. He’s angry, and he’s desperate, but he isn’t out of control or anything. He knows exactly what he wants, and he’s going to get it. He’s got a strategy and a plan and he knows precisely what he’s doing in exposing himself to the Federation as the killer. He wants this, and maybe going around killing people is kinda super actually bad and fucked up, but, to him, this is his normal. Him being a chill family guy (lol) for six months was his strange.

And the thing is! He warned her of this! Literal minutes after seeing the inside of his childhood home, he told her that he’s a monster and that he killed a guy and that he wasn’t the brother she knew, but she said, no, you’re still my brother.

But it seems like she’s still caught up in the past, and why wouldn’t she be? All she had for 15 years was a bunch of fading memories of her missing twin brother. Of course she would idealize him. What kid wouldn’t?

Bagi can’t quite seem to reconcile the perfect baby twin brother and the merciless serial killer in her mind, and she doesn’t even seem to realize that. She still thinks she knows him better than anyone but Roier, but it’s starting to look like she might not, and this is going to cause Problems eventually I think because he isn’t the boy he was 15 years ago. That boy died in the war, and only he seems to have realized that

#obligatory idk every character intimately warning

[yuikomorii]

I know you’ve mentioned how Karlheinz seems to favor Ayato as the candidate for Adam (as seen through his actions/words in YB and DF) and I honestly feel like this is further evidence that Ayato is the most “upright” of his brothers. In Ayato’s MB Ecstasy Epilogue, Karlheinz mentions that vampires are attracted to evil and need to be set on the right path; then again in DF he says a main motive of the Adam and Eve plan was to create a vampire with human sentiments, as the loss of emotion in vampires made them inferior to humans in that sense. In my opinion the reason he seems to favor Ayato is because he’s the one most capable of expressing selfless sentiments, progressing as a person, being “pure-hearted” (as I know Rejet has described him as before), and just overall being compassionate, and these traits fit perfectly into the motives for the Adam and Eve plan mentioned above. Idk if this exact topic has been addressed before (and I’m just beating a dead horse lol), but I just thought your opinions were interesting and wanted to share my own thoughts! Also I love your commentary and analysis on the series/characters, it’s always super fun to read! <3

// Aww, I’m glad you enjoy them! I guess it’s been a while but I’m glad that Anon sent me something that made me return to analysing. 💕

I agree on your take, although I feel like that’s already canon at this point, haha. Ayato has always been highlighted as the most human-like one, even Japanese fans talked about that, but the only reason why some Westerners might disagree is because they know nothing about Ayato to begin with and only judge him based on HDB and MB. While it’s true that he was kinda crazy there, YB revealed that his possessiveness, obsession and blood thirst were due to the curse not trauma. For this reason, comparing Ayato to his brothers in HDB or MB is not fair at all, considering that these are two different situations. His brothers only started getting severe blood thirst symptoms in MB when they were awakening, while Ayato had to deal with those most of his life and even entered in a coma. Ruki's MB route also shows that Ayato is still cursed there and that his brothers noticed how he started going insane exactly after Yui was abducted to the point where they decided to lock him in the dungeon because he couldn't function without her blood anymore.

And speaking of the curse, I think many people don't treat it seriously enough. Imagine being physically and mentally tortured but still attempting to help and sacrifice yourself for others when your kindness is being abused in the worst way conceivable. That fig literally sucked the life out of him and he had to slowly watch himself fall into madness without being able to control it.

Nevertheless, Ayato is still able to be forgiving and compassionate towards those who have wronged him with or without dating Yui. He can be driven by some factors to do bad things, but his purity cannot be taken away; even Cordelia stated that there is something different about him and she’s not the type to say such stuff out of the blue. That’s why his routes are considered the ideal outcome of the story, they make the most sense and Ayato getting the happy ending with Yui is the most satisfying. I mean, every Diaboy deserves a happy ending but in all honesty, I wouldn't want the people whose words and actions have caused my life to be destroyed to find love before me either. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#admin