#i'll put it on my bingo card

[astonmartinii]

into the arms of another part three | max verstappen social media au

pairing: max verstappen x reader

part one part two masterlist tips

yourusername

liked by landonorris, maxverstappen1 and 707,890 others

tagged: maxverstappen1

yourusername: working up a storm and flirting up a frenzy

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user3: SHE'S BACK

user4: that month she was gone was dragging

user5: i almost forget she has a job lol there's always so much drama i forgot girly was getting the bag

danielricciardo: oh what a lovely picture of you two being gross at dinner i wonder who took it

yourusername: it's this lovely gentleman, i'll have to introduce you. he's quite loud, very charming and should consider going into theatre with his vocal projection

danielricciardo: you think i'm ready for the stage?

maxverstappen1: i think we all think you're ready for the stage

user6: wait so do you think daniel, heidi, y/n and max go on double dates? that's so cute

user7: sometimes i hurt myself by thinking it could've been a triple date if charles wasn't such as ass

maxverstappen1: when she's a triple threat 😍

yourusername: but i can't sing, dance or act?

maxverstappen1: but you are smart, beautiful and can put up with me :)

yourusername: you act like being with you is a chore maxy :( i'd spend all my waking moments with you if i could

landonorris: i'm sending these ^^ comments to my therapist, you guys make me feel so lonely

maxverstappen1: sorry dude

yourusername: lando !! let us play matchmaker ??

landonorris: i'll let you play matchmaker just don't let max have too much input

maxverstappen1: why not i clearly have good taste?

user8: anyone else wondering whether y/n and charles actually spoke after he was seen outside her building?

user9: i was thinking about that too ... i'm guessing they either didn't or it didn't go well by the fact that he's no where to be seen here

maxverstappen1

liked by danielricciardo, yourusername and 1,203,500 others

tagged: yourusername

maxverstappen1: new weekend, new helmet. this one was designed by the love of my life who put her architecture degree to good use to make me this beautiful lid. love you y/n hope to bring you a trophy back in return 🧡

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user13: max being the resident grid sweetheart was not on my 2023 bingo card

yourusername: no worries max, it was an absolute honour to design a helmet for you.

maxverstappen1: it's an honour to wear something designed by you

yourusername: call me the adrian newey of helmet design

maxverstappen1: that's a big shout, that i'm inclined to believe

redbullracing: adrian gives his stamp of approval y/n !

user14: i swear in an older charles vlog y/n spoke about how she always wanted to design a helmet for him :( i'm glad she finally got to do it

user15: no shade but at least this helmet might actually win the race lol

danielricciardo: cute lid, is y/n open for commission?

maxverstappen1: nope she's mine and mine only (unless you're paying)

yourusername: what he said

user16: i just know charles is screaming, crying and throwing up rn

user17: probably not, people stop being friends all the time, he's got more than one friend and is a millionaire, he's living his best life

user16: his track record says otherwise, he's extremely petty, he probably can't handle that max and y/n don't care about him anymore

user18: tbf from what we saw charles was looking to reconcile, it's more y/n who has been unreasonable

user19: i think she's well within her rights to refuse forgiveness and from reports charles never apologised, this has been a pattern of behaviour for years now. she deserved better, she's now got better

liked by maxverstappen1

user20: i love that max likes all the shady comments about the situation cause i know y/n would never

charles_leclerc

liked by arthurleclerc, carlossainz55 and 908,344 others

charles_leclerc: always make time for your real friends.

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user21: if there's one thing men will have, it's the audacity

user22: well this is an interesting response

user23: are we meant to clap?

arthurleclerc: what happened to the plan?

charles_leclerc: than plan failed in the minute she closed the door in my face

arthurleclerc: call me, but also stop making excuses

user24: yes it is logical to do this offline arthur, but consider this, i want to read the drama

user25: but at this point how is it drama? it's just charles being stubborn. y/n gave him a full explanation and by the look of it he didn't do a very good job with it

user26: the thing is i honestly believe that however bad the apology would be y/n would still forgive him. they've been friends for so long i think she honestly wants it to work out but shit like this does not help his case

carlossainz55: mate i am so confused

charles_leclerc: what's so confusing? she can say that this has led to her finding "the real thing" but i can't?

carlossainz55: but if you wanted to reconcile, you look like an asshole

charles_leclerc: fine, make me the bad guy like everyone else

user27: charles is really in his whiny boy era lord

user28: all i know is that y/n and max are probably at home having the laugh of their lives

f1wagsupdates

liked by 3,095 others

tagged: yourusername

f1wagupdates: y/n y/ln was in the red bull garage this weekend with verstappen's family. max won this race wearing the helmet she designed for him.

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user31: they are the cutest couple on the grid, perhaps of all time

user32: they're defo on the way to that, if they get married could defo grab best couple of all time

user33: the way she still stopped at ferrari to talk to arthur and wish him and charles luck ... clearly there's a bigger person here

user34: y/n is already so close to the verstappens, her and sophie and victoria were together all weekend.

user35: my friend had a paddock pass and overheard sophie asking y/n when she'll be giving her more grandkids

user36: OMG WHAT? what did y/n say?

user35: that she'd have to be mrs. verstappen first

user37: do not play with me right now if we get the charles and y/n friend breakup and y/n and max engagement all in one season my brain may explode

user38: if max weren't winning every race anyway i'd defo say that this is the lucky helmet

user39: i mean grand slams aren't that common, so maybe it is

user40: max win and charles disasterclass, the best weekend possible for y/n

user41: i don't think she actually wants charles to do badly though, she wouldn't have wished him luck..

maxverstappen1

liked by danielricciardo, yourusername and 1,405,649 others

tagged: yourusername

maxverstappen1: i've won a lot of races this year but my biggest win of all was your heart. here's to forever together ❤️

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user42: i think i just saw charles drop to his knees in monaco

user43: i mean they can still be friends? there was never any romantic feelings he's just being weird about being in the wrong and it being max

danielricciardo: i'm so so happy for you guys, you deserve this so much. all the happiness to you, i shall assume my position as best man effective immediately

maxverstappen1: bit forward to assume that you're best man mate

danielricciardo: wait, i'm not best man ?

maxverstappen1: i joke, you are, of course, the best man and i can't think of a better man for the job

yourusername: just don't go too crazy with the stag night, i've heard about your nights out back in the day (seen the videos too)

danielricciardo: i don't know what you're talking about, we'll have a boys night in, a round of uno and he'll be ready at the altar right on time

user44: why am i actually so happy for people i don't even know

yourusername: i can't think of a better way to spend the rest of my life, red bull drive babysitter and cat mama

maxverstappen1: i think jimmy and sassy might just be as excited as me (maybe)

yourusername: i know i can tell by all the holes in my shoes

maxverstappen1: we all have our ways of showing love, some bites holes in shoes, some like to follow you everywhere

landonorris: the way max could be either one

maxverstappen1: ummm i'm trying to be romantic stop accusing me of biting my fiancee's shoes

yourusername: don't worry maxy, i'd still marry you even if you bite my shoes

user45: this is an amazing thing and not to bring the mood down, but do we think y/n will invite charles to the wedding?

user46: max could as well, they are friends, even if charles is trying to use their rivalry as a 'reason' to be angry at this relationship

yourusername

liked by oscarpiastri, maxverstappen1 and 1,206,782 others

tagged: maxverstappen1

yourusername: i am lost for words. i never knew i could love someone as much as i love you, and it is my biggest honour to spend the rest of my life with you.

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user47: she has really won at life i'm so happy for her

user48: who knew being ditched in corsica would be so good for a girl

liked by yourusername

maxverstappen1: i love you more than you could ever know, couldn't think of a better mrs. verstappen-y/ln

yourusername: i can't wait to have matching last names

user49: wait is max also going to take y/n's name?

maxverstappen1: yep and couldn't be prouder to have her name

yourusername: awww maxy i love you

user50: so... did charles get an invite?

charles_leclerc: no. so much for moving forward.

yourusername: i won't let you ruin this announcement for me. let the postal service do their job. please get your shit together before you rsvp or fuck off, i have no problem burning that invite.

user51: oof.

landonorris: congrats guys, do me and daniel get a prize for listening to the years of pining that led to this

yourusername: you can get a gold star?

landonorris: make it solid gold and done.

yourusername: girl.

maxverstappen1: if red bull ask whether we drank on this getaway say no

yourusername: we defo didn't spray champagne like we were on a podium and then eat our weight in pasta

maxverstappen1: i had to celebrate my girl :)

note: hiiiii, i know this was highly, highly requested and i hope this has met expectations. i've had real bad writers block and some shit going on in my personal life, so i'm not the happiest with this but could see another part if i get enough ideas lol. thanks for reading <3

#f1 #f1 x you #f1 instagram au #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #max verstappen x you #max verstappen imagine #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen instagram au #max verstappen

[jbk405]

Okay, so, either the trailer for Monkey Man was horribly put together, or I completely misunderstood what was presented, because I had NO IDEA what I was getting into. The entire plot took me completely by surprise several times.

This film is deliberately political. I can't recall the last time I saw an action film have such a clear focus on government. It's relatively common for the Big Bad to be a person in government -- that makes them an even bigger threat because in addition to the Criminal Thugs they employ they also have the Police and Media on their side -- but when this happens their actual politics don't matter. They're also a drug dealer, or human trafficker, and that's what the hero is fighting against. Usually we don't even learn what their politics even are. We may see them give a speech saying "Family values!" intercut with them doing drugs and having sex so we know they're a hypocrite, but that's the extent of it. In this film we know that the villains are part of the Hindu Nationalist movement, and are encouraging violence against religious minorities and gender-nonconforming people throughout India.

The condemnation is so direct that I'm not surprised Netflix backed out of distributing out of fear of the backlash in India. The only way the film could have been bolder would be if they used actual political party names instead of the "We're not actually saying 'Bharatiya Janata Party'" angle.

I was also completely unprepared for the inclusion of the hijra temple commune. I was already surprised just by the mention of crime against trans people on the news in the film, but then the main characters finds himself rescued and rehabilitated and welcomed into their society with open arms. They counsel him both philosophically and physically, and prepare him to resume his quest. And then they join him!

A literal army of trans women toppling the oppressive power structure was not on my BINGO card, I'll tell you that.

This movie was intense and an experience, and if you can see it in theaters I say you go right now!

#Monkey Man #Film #Movies #Dev Patel

[nouvellevqgue]

ii. i love springsteen, faded blue jeans, tennessee whiskey

pairing: lando norris x reader

summary: you know you'd always love him just like you love your whiskey and jeans.

a/n: i know i know, but it's been sitting in my draft for veryyy long. so let's give em a shot, shall we?

₊˚⊹౨ৎ ⋆｡✦˚‎

yourusername

liked by logansargeant, sydneysweeney, dualipa, and 571,483 more

yourusername back view? check.

view all 13,597 comments...

logansargeant 85% better than before

⤷ yourusername well at least i have progress than last year ig🤷🏻‍♀️

username y/n dressing up as bruce springsteen is not on my bingo card for today

username WHERE'S THE RED HAT??

⤷ yourusername at some point i lost it on my trip to maranello

⤷ username girl that aint lost your hat is stolen

username where's lando btw hes not liking this post

⤷ username busy celebrating his victory and doing his selfie with nando and max

⤷ username he is liking this but with his burner account

⤷ username which burner account are you talking abt

⤷ username the other one

username spill your jeans bestie

⤷ yourusername hnm!

sydneysweeney just missed the belt part, and even without the red hat it'll be just perfect.

username we just need to wait for her live to hear her randomly sing this

landonorris sure miss born in usa

⤷ yourusername sure am😎

username slayed and yass-ed

username i miss lando and y/n when they're still living together

⤷ username wait they're not?

⤷ username maybe they're still, but lando now is busy as ever and so do her

username i love american core y/n

⤷ username logan and y/n: 🇺🇸🇺🇸🦅🦅🦅🦅🔥🔥🔥

username still had no idea how tf is THE lando norris is meeting a girl like her

⤷ username dude if you're jealous just say it

username (late) halloween costume of the year

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris, and 359,102 more

yourusername betty and whiskey🥃👠

view all 9,556 comments...

fransisca.cgomes need that shirt like right now!

⤷ yourusername i ❤️ la betty is perfect

⤷ francisca.cgomes giving marilyn monroe

landonorris the prettiest to ever exist

landonorris MY GIRL

landonorris you're so beautiful🥴

⤷ yourusername you're as sweet as my whiskey

⤷ username he is so lovesick with her i can tell

⤷ username easy lando easy

⤷ username who am i in this big world

⤷ username lando is giving a love drunk man spam commenting his girlfriend's random post

username WHY IS SHE SOOOO MOTHERRR

username her fit is so aesthetic i want it

yncloset slayed the fit as always

⤷ yourusername you got it 😉

username i mean lando's not wrong🤷🏻‍♀️ i'mma be him too if i were having a gf like her

carlossainz55 not enough. more for midnight

⤷ yourusername not so depressed rn but i'll it try next time my manager yelled at me😄

alexandrasaintmleux you are very pretty

yourusername so do you my sweetest<33 ilyyy

charles_leclerc when i'm literally RIGHT HERE

yourusername

liked by daniel3.jpg, lilymhe, alex_albon, and 729,851 more

yourusername eyes to eyes.

view all 59,126 comments...

username he knows how to make me go feral

maxfewtrell okay now where's my photo credit?

yourusername ...i should put it on early

landonorris we'll (she'll) always remember you our hero🥺🥹

maxfewtrell you better be or if you two don't, i'll delete it all even before you guys even know what kind of photo am i capturing

maxfewtrell oh yeah i can spot his mistype in talking to taking because he's quite dizzy

username i love him, but i love them both more

username got that frat boy aura oh myyyyy

username her hand placement, and their eyes are looking so focused to each other's

username “when you're talking it's like i'm so in love with you all over again” I'M BAWLING ADOPT ME PLS

username she has no right to making me crying sobbing like thissss

username AHSBSBSBHSBSJSUSNWK

username OH GOOD LORD PLS I JUST WANNA BE SINGLE IN PEACE PLEEEASEE

charles_leclerc i don't know is it her or him who is lovesick🤔😬

⤷ landonorris both

⤷ charles_leclerc no, pick one

⤷ username THE “PICK ONE” THING ASKAJSSKK

⤷ danielricciardo do it to him next time if he posted about alex

⤷ charles_leclerc no fair

landonorris

liked by maxfewtrell, pierregasly, yourusername, and 459,101 more

landonorris love you forever more 💕

👤: maxfewtrell, yourusername

view all 9,588 comments...

username they finally tagged max‼️‼️

username frat boy looking lando: 🫨🥴😩💀

username maxfewtrell is the pic an act of revenge bcs the second one's blurry?

⤷ maxfewtrell nah, i dropped the camera earlier

username guys i think he's the one who is lovesick

⤷ charles_leclerc I KNEW IT!!!

⤷ username bro how long have you been here

username the dim light pose is too good

username i know he see it coming

⤷ maxfewtrell quick reflex is my forte

⤷ landonorris one of the reason why it's shaky and blurry

username is it confirmed that lando is actually has two wag?

⤷ yourusername we get along well, right, maxfewtrell?

⤷ maxfewtrell we fight occasionally, but overall, we're good.

donatellaversace donatella VERSACE 💜

⤷ username idk how but why is donatella is on lando's page

⤷ gigihadid probably because of y/n tag🤷🏼‍♀️

⤷ username why is her comment is just like that?

⤷ gigihadid that's normal

landonorris

liked by yourusername, mclaren, racerbia and 546,101 more

landonorris before/after

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landonorris no comment about the hat okay

⤷ pierregasly i just want to do it

⤷ danielricciardo that fucking funky looking hat

⤷ landonorris what about no

yourusername he found it

⤷ pierregasly good info

username is the hat says sex?

⤷ username no it's sexy

⤷ username oh...

username i understand the exhaustion dw

username no bc clubbing all night is exhausting as fu you don't understand

⤷ username especially when the liquor is out

username her favorite is whiskey, apparently...

⤷ username no way bcs me too... does this means 😏

⤷ username no fran she's not

username is the book says i love dick?

⤷ yourusername dick in mean is dickinson

⤷ landonorris lie

⤷ landonorris it's dick in mean you know what

yourusername added to their story!

caption: 🧡🧡🧡

carlossainz55 replied to your story!

: since when did he dressed up like that

yourusername

: since he decided it's too hot to leave his trousers at home

carlossainz55

: 🤦🏻🤦🏻🤦🏻

lando.jpg

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, and 299,740 others

lando.jpg night's out

view all 1,680 comments...

username THE HAND PLACEMENT??????🥴😵‍💫🫨

username night's out under the guise of jeans label

⤷ username i know it's a trap

username the way i spit my morning tea as soon as i swiped right

username damn his hands are big enough to fit the both of her arse cheeks

username alternative caption: lando in the urge to make out but realized max is already captured the whole thing

⤷ maxfewtrell imagine of how i feel during that time😔😔

username DARK SHIRT LANDO?????

username oh that hand could choke me and i'll thank him

username love me some black shirt lando

yourusername

liked by maxfewtrell, landonorris, and 281,776 others

yourusername i do rubber ring here

view all 7,193 comments...

taylorswift that is so cute 😍🥹

username even taylor said it's cute

⤷ username taylor approved👍

username GIRL SHE PROPOSED TO YOU PLS SAY YES

⤷ yourusername i'd say a thousand yesses

⤷ landonorris really?

⤷ username are we gonna watching them proposing in the comments section?

username can't wait for baby norris

⤷ username girl that's gonna be sooo long

⤷ username dw i'm patient

lando.jpg

liked by charles_leclerc, estebanocon, and 322,809 others

lando.jpg weekend

👤: charles_leclerc, yourusername

view all 12,721 comments...

charles_leclerc real glad i'm tagged

⤷ yourusername imagine if i don't remind him to tag you

⤷ lando.jpg imagine

⤷ daniel3.jpg imagine

yourusername i know what's gonna happen next believe me

⤷ username i believe you

maxfewtrell lan don't do that to her if you don't want her to have a back pain afterwards

⤷ yourusername i'm okay

⤷ maxfewtrell yeah now, but wait until he lost control and drop you

username 💀💀💀 you see max's comments?

username damn max with his imagines

username let's not jump into the worst

username but what if, right?

yourusername added to their story!

landonorris added to their story!

#✶! #lando norris x y/n #lando norris x reader #lando norris x you #lando norris imagine #lando norris fanfic #lando norris smau #lando norris fluff #f1 x you #f1 imagines #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 fanfic #f1 smau

[fragranceman]

i’m gonna miss MCC tomorrow because i have to do something inevitable, something every girl(?) has to do (not really but, ya know).

i have to go buy a fucking prom dress, so while ya’ll enjoy the funny minecraft competition i will be spending my day staring at pieces of fabric THAT ALL LOOK THE EXACT FUCKING SAME, and being miserable.

#my friends made bingo cards #they all put that i'll start crying at one point

[frikatilhi]

I have to write some of this down so I don't forget

Joker out at Kulttuuritalo 2.3.24

The boys seemed to be a bit baffled at soundcheck at first - as were we in the audience 😂 How are we supposed to be and act? Except when Bojan came and was so easy-going and put everyone at ease and high-fived/shook everyone's hand and put the Finland's son-in-law sash on and gave hugs and then said "excuse me, son-in-law coming through" and talked to us a lot, he really knows how to command a space

This has been all over the place, but they were rehearsing until midnight the day before because of technical issues with the sound program that Bojan could not explain because he doesn't understand any of it (that's okay Bojan, you can just sing and look pretty). Nace had been up until 4 am fixing it

they sang Vse Kar Vem and Dopamin (which wasn't on the set so they probably will change it up in different gigs) and it was a lot of fun! People shouted "Peliä!" to them when they were leaving and Bojan shouted it back. He also told us to have fun and "scream as loud as you can" ☠️

Bojan said he is in a chatty mood and is going to talk a lot today (I'm not sure he actually did talk more than usual? but it was nice to hear from him ❤️)

Hojan was on my bingo card but not quite like THAT. I love it that they wanted to include him somehow but do something different ❤️

BOJAN'S PÖTSI. It was out a lot, bless him. He does have a belly button! And a stomach mole, apparently? (Need more hi-res prof plis)

I have to mention Kris' cake even though we were on the under-18 side so I did not get to look as much as I would have wanted to. But today I'll be on the other side heh

I love Nace's hair and he is adorable so there

NEW SONGS I AM DEAD. Bojan seemed a bit nervous, he didn't look at the audience much? But he skipped and bounced and it was adorable. He said it was nerve-wrecking. But they were really happy afterward! (I kinda want to learn some bits of the lyrics so if they do them again today we could sing along)

Everybody's waiting was so amazing live, Bojan said how that made him the most nervous of all because "now *I* have to play that thing". But it was so so good and they were elated after it, seemed super relieved, like punching the air happy 😭

METULJI 💕 Bojan was very touched with all the butterflies, that was pretty, it was an amazing version

The back drop and the drum design were so beautiful!!!

It was so cool meeting moots, please if you're there today I would love to say hi

Jere with a big entourage there showing support, uhuhuu

The crowd on the floor was nice and let people go to get water and go to the bathroom and then come back. It was a long night to stand around ☠️ Kultsa is so nice in that front row is like a mile long so that probably helped.

#joker out #see you soon tour #ramble ramble #concert recap

[wardenparker]

Character: Javi G

Prompt: “I’ll protect you”

Lastly: CONGRATS! 👏 🥳

Javi Gutierrez. 830 words. "I'll protect you." Co-written with @absurdthirst

Established relationship. Reader is described as having hair long enough to curl.

Javi rushes into the room, stopping and staring for a brief moment as you look up from the chair you are sitting in. Curlers are in your hair and there are a million different products lined up on the bathroom counter. A ring light has been added, giving more light to the space to allow the stylist that he had hired to make you feel like a princess. "The dress is here." He tells you excitedly.

"Is it everything you hoped for, amor?" His film premiere tonight has him in jitters, but the excited kind. As Javi has gotten more comfortable in Hollywood, he has also become a more active participant in the parties and events that the film industry considers so important. It's taking a little longer for you to get into the scene, but you also haven't been in Hollywood as long as he has. In fact, you're only here because of how much you love him. Being a writer/producer's girlfriend was never anything you had on the Bingo card of your life.

"You love it too, sí?" He asks, a worried frown crossing his face. He had thought you loved the dress too, but maybe he had been too busy imagining how you would look next to him to see any objections you had. He just wanted you to feel beautiful tonight, since you are coming with him.

"Of course I love it." It's a stunning, designer-made evening gown. What's not to love? "I just want you to be proud to be seen with me, my love. And since you picked out the dress, I wanted to make sure that you still love it."

"I would be proud to be seen with you no matter what you are wearing." You still seem to be a bit intimidated by the fact that he used to be a billionaire. He's not one anymore. Most everything he owed was siezed by the police when they captured Lucas. He didn't even get to keep his golden guns. Now, he was started to build back a nice portfolio with the screenplays he was developing, but you don't care about his lack of money. "But it is even more beautiful than I remember." He hums. "Almost as beautiful as you."

“Flatterer.” A teasing little accusation and you lean forward to kiss him as the stylist moves around you to take your hair out of the curlers and work whatever magic she has in mind. “Everything will be wonderful tonight, mi amor. I promise.” He’s knows you are nervous, but you have given him your word that you do want to be there and so you’re going to make sure that he feels it, too. Hollywood may be intimidating but it will not stop you from supporting him.

"It will be good for you too." He promises, sending you a soft smile through the mirror. You have been amazing, his constant support and champion after he had split with Gabriela. It was like you were meant to be.

“I’m sure it will be. And it will be nice to see Nick and Olivia.” Javi’s best friend is his coproducer on this film and Nick Cage’s wife has quickly become a friendly shoulder for you to lean on. As odd as that sentence is to you sometimes.

"Yes it will." He grins, excited to see his friend again. "They also said that the afterparties are a must."

“We’ll stay out as long as you like,” you promise him with an indulgent grin. “I took the next two days off of work.”

"You did?" His brows wing up in surprise, expecting to have to leave early so you could go to bed a reasonably decent time.

“Of course I did.” His surprise breaks your heart, but you reach up to cup his face gently with one hand. “I might be nervous but I’m not going to abandon you in the middle of your big night.”

"I know." He knows that you are incredibly supportive, but you also have a job that you have to keep as well. "I just know you are nervous at the big parties."

“And I’ll get used to it with a little practice.” Your office job doesn’t exactly put you in the line of fire when it comes to big anything. But Javi is worth making changes for.

Javi nods, understanding that you must feel like a fish out of water at times. "Don't worry." He promises, risking the stylist's ire to press a soft kiss to your cheek. "I'll protect you."

“I know you will.” Since the moment the two of you met, you have been his champion and he has been yours. He’s more than you ever dreamed of in a partner and you’re determined to make him proud. “It’s going to be a wonderful night, mi amor.”

“Yes it will.” He knows it will be, because you are by his side. “We will have the time of our lives.”

______

Master Tags: @pixiedurango @chattychell @winter-fox-queen @lady-himbo @artsymaddie @princess76179 @paintballkid711 @missminkylove @pedrosbrat @ew-erin @sarahjkl82-blog @sharkbait77 @justanotherblonde23 @lv7867 @recklesswit @mylittlesenaar @f0rever15elf @gallowsjoker @steeevienicks @athalien @sherala007 @skvatnavle @thatpinkshirt @jaime1110 @girlimjusttryingtoreadfanfics @goodgriefitsawildworld @greeneyedblondie44 @littlemousedroid @harriedandharassed @churchill356 @ajathegreats-blog @haylzcyon   @beardsanddetectives @kirsteng42 @ladykatakuri @adancedivasmom @madiebear @tanzthompson @emilianamason @bigsdinger @xocalliexo @pedr0swh0r3 @avaleineandafryingpan @charlyrmv @avidreader73 @iceclaw101 @loveslide @elegantduckturtle @becsworld @julesonrecord @its-nebuleuse @itsrubberbisquit @mikeyswifie @guelyury @lizzie-cakes @for-a-longlongtime @vabeachazn @purplerain04 @weho2kcmo @madnessofadaydreamer

My Masterlist!

#Pedro Pascal #Pedro Pascal character fanfiction #Pedro Pascal fanfic #Javi Gutierrez #Javi Gutierrez x you #Javi Gutierrez x reader #Javi Gutierrez x female reader #Javi Gutierrez x f!reader #Javi G #TUWOMT #the unbearable weight of massive talent

[ckret2]

Chapter 21 of honestly everyone's just sorta used to Bill being the shack's prisoner now (title tbd): Stan & Ford have a birthday party! Bill is not invited. He still manages to find a way to be fiendishly evil.

Also featuring: Wendy deciding what she thinks about "Goldie," the shack's mysterious secret "guest."

####

Mabel slid a piece of paper across the gas station front counter, listing a dozen scratch card serial numbers spread across three different games. "I'd like these numbers in these cards, please!"

The cashier gave the paper a dubious look, then looked at Wendy. "We're not supposed to sell the scratch cards outta order."

"Please?" Wendy asked. "Just a little exception? For us?"

"We really wanna play our lucky numbers," Mabel said. "Plus, I had a vision. In my sleep."

She and Wendy gave him their best big-eyed hopeful pouty looks.

The cashier shrank back. "Well..." He averted his gaze from the adorableness that was Mabel, and sighed. "Just this once. But I don't want to see you two in here with your nonsense again." He started unrolling one of the spools of scratch cards, inspecting the numbers. "These'll be over a hundred dollars."

Wendy winced. "Ooh. Mabel?"

Mabel offered three dollars and a quarter. "That's fine! Can we start with 177 from the beach cards?"

She received the card, depicting a pastel beachy scene next to five miniature bingo boards. She confidently scratched off the card to reveal its winning numbers, pointed at the fourth bingo board where she'd just gotten bingo, and said, "That's $200! Our payout, please."

The cashier took the card, inspected the numbers, and stared at Mabel in amazement. She grinned at him. Wordlessly, he opened his cash register, pulled out several twenties, and offered them over.

"Thank you!" Mabel accepted the money and pointed at the paper. "The rest of our cards, please?"

As they left with eleven scratch cards, Mabel handed Wendy three twenties—"Here! For helping!"—and stuck the rest of the change in her pocket.

"Dude. That was awesome. You were so cool in there, like—" Wendy put on her coolest, most unruffled expression. "'Our payout, please.'"

"That's just the kind of rock star I am." Mabel put the scratch cards in her bike's basket. "Thanks for the help, Wendy!"

"Sure, any time." Especially if she got a surprise $60 out of it. "Heading back to the shack?"

"Yeah! I've gotta finish decorating for the party!"  Mabel waved as she took off down the road. "See you then!"

"See you." She guessed that meant she wasn't invited to hang until the party started. Given the touchy situation inside the shack, no surprises there.

She wondered what Goldie had to do with Mabel's interesting trick with the scratch cards. She was sure there was something.

####

Bill leaned into the kitchen. "Hey! How's that cake coming along?"

Mabel stopped arranging dozens of candles in the frosting to point at the door. "Out, Bill! Nobody's getting cake until the party!"

Dipper said, "You don't even deserve a slice."

"Agree to disagree!" Bill said. "But if you don't give me one anyway, I'll annoy you about it for weeks."

"He can have a slice at the party," Mabel said. "The cake's big enough." A couple of overcrowded candles spilled off the edge of the cake. Mabel picked them up and carefully stuck them back in.

Bill fought back a laugh. "Are you sure about all those candles? If you light 'em all up at once, you'll burn off everyone's eyebrows," he said. "But unfortunately, you'd also melt the frosting."

"The frosting's already a mess," Mabel said, peering at the barely-visible HAPPY BIRTHDAY STAN & FORD hidden beneath the forest of candles. "But Soos doesn't have any of those number-shaped candles, so..." 

"Roman numerals," Bill said.

"Oooh." Mabel looked at the cake thoughtfully, and started pulling out candles. "How do you make 62?"

"LXII. Fifty-ten-one-one," Bill said, then shot a grin at Dipper—who was glaring at Bill for answering before he could. "Isn't that right, smart guy?"

"Yeah," Dipper grumbled.

"You kids take the credit if they ask about the candles," Bill said. "They'll just get grumpy if they know I had any influence on the decorations."

Mabel carefully tilted the bottom leg of the L just enough to keep the tip out of the frosting, and started smoothing out the rest of the candle-pockmarked surface. "Now I've got enough empty frosting to add some decorations!" Mabel said. "I don't have enough time to draw something complicated. Maybe rainbows?"

Dipper shook his head. "I don't think either of them would be into that."

"Draw gold bars," Bill said.

Mabel blew a raspberry. "That's what you'd want on a cake!"

"No, I'd want me on a cake. Stanley likes gold! Stanford should like gold more, you could help him develop a taste for it."

"No."

Dipper suggested, "Maybe you could draw gambling stuff on Stan's side of the cake? Since they couldn't have their birthday party in Vegas like he wanted." Dipper shot a sideways glance at the reason they had to stay in Gravity Falls. (Bill shrugged. It wasn't like he'd asked the Stan twins to stay in town.) "You could do poker chips or playing cards or—"

"Dice!" Mabel said. "Dipper that's perfect, they both like dice! We can put normal dice on Grunkle Stan's side and nerdy dice on Grunkle Ford's—"

"Oh, that's great! I've got my DD&MD dice bag in the attic!"

"I'll look in the board game closet!"

Dipper and Mabel took off. 

Bill waited until he was sure they were gone.

He checked out the kitchen window for witnesses, then picked up a dozen abandoned birthday candles, licked off the frosting, and hid the candles in his hoodie's hood. Too bad they hadn't left a matchbook out, but Bill knew a fun little trick with an empty aluminum can and a tube of toothpaste that would work just fine.

When the kids returned and Mabel stuffed the remaining forty-odd candles back in their box, they never noticed any were missing.

####

Mabel had put herself in charge of the guest list. Which explained why, along with Stan and Ford's actual friends, all Mabel's friends had been invited; as well as—among other people—the mayor ("he's like the Mystery Shack's best customer, Grunkle Stan!"), Shmebulock ("Jeff said Shmebulock stole the Journal 4 you started last fall, I was hoping he might gift it back"), and the Hand Witch and her boyfriend. ("Whaaat, Grunkle Ford you met her TOO?! What a coincidence! Dipper, did you know he met—oh, you did. I didn't read those pages!") It would have been a lot more awkward if not for the fact that the birthday boys were awed and humbled that so many people had attended knowing they were coming to a birthday party for Stan and Ford Pines, and none of the guests had even been bribed.

When Soos and Melody helped Mabel carry out the birthday cake, Ford laughed at the sight of it. "Did you make Roman numerals out of candles? How clever! Stanley, do you know what Roman—"

"Yeah, yeah. I watch the Football Bowl, you know," Stan said. "Honestly, I was expecting this thing to be covered in candles."

"I almost went that route," Mabel said. "But I thought I'd save that kind of firepower for the Fourth of July."

"Hah! That's my girl."

"Happy Birthday" was sung, candles were blown out, and the party lined up to get their cake. Mabel cut a slice, loaded it on a paper plate, then glanced toward the attic window. "I'll be right back! I've gotta use the bathroom. Don't open my presents until I'm back!"

She trotted into the house, taking the cake, a napkin, and a plastic spoon with her.

####

Bill met Mabel at the top of the stairs and scooped the cake out of her hands. "You're my hero, star girl." He carried it halfway back to his window seat, stopped mid-step, and asked, "You got a piece with my name on it?"

"I got the slice with the 'Birt' and took off the extra frosting!"

"Oh," Bill said. "Heh. That's—cute." And he looked so much like he was trying to pretend he wasn't genuinely touched by the gesture, that Mabel didn't have the heart to tell him she'd only thought of it halfway up the stairs.

He flopped back in his usual window seat post—where, Mabel couldn't help but notice, he had a perfect view of the party happening outside without him. She grimaced. "I'm sorry you can't come to the party," she said. "But you did torture and try to murder the birthday boys... and most of the party guests... and left half of them with lingering trauma..."

"Speaking of, how's your therapist doing?"

"Oh, good, she's good. I think she's gonna write a paper about Mabeland."

Bill fell silent, staring out the window. Mabel almost went downstairs—when he said, "You know, I was the only person who gave Stanford a gift on his thirtieth birthday."

Mabel turned back around so fast she almost tripped on the top step. It wasn't often she got a double dose of Bill lore and Grunkle lore. "You were?"

"He didn't make new friends in Oregon and he didn't keep up with his old friends from college. His parents mailed him a gift, but it got here a week late. So I taught him a couple spells to see the stars during the day and keep rain from landing on him, and told him where to be in Portland that afternoon if he wanted to pick up a free cake from a fancy bakery."

"Aww. That was... nice of you." But Mabel had to hesitate before saying it, automatically wondering what Bill's motives had been for giving the gifts and what his motive now was for sharing this. 

Bill waved a hand dismissively. "Ahh, they were parlor tricks. They're easy, flashy cantrips that impress humans but don't do any harm," he said. "Not much harm, anyway. That night he told me all about how he was the only human to see his zodiac constellation on his birthday. The genius spent all day staring at the sun so he could see the stars!" He laughed.

But it quickly petered out. "And now I'm personally banned from his birthday party. Funny, huh?"

Maybe Bill was trying to get Mabel to pity him; but she kinda thought he was just pitying himself. She patted his shoulder sympathetically. "Losing friends is tough," she said. She paused. "And that's why we should be nice to them."

Bill cracked up so loudly Mabel half expected the party outside to hear him. "Okay, Glory Unicorn! I've learned today's moral about friendship. Get outta here. See if I ever tell you anything again." But he was grinning as he shooed her off.

####

When Mabel came back cakeless, Dipper gave her a dark look, but said nothing.

"Are we opening gifts yet?" Mabel picked up a box and flung an arm around Dipper's shoulder. "You've gotta open this one first! It's from both of us to both of you!" She waved it at Stan and Ford until they took it together.

Ford pointed at the card that said, "To our Grunkles, from your gniece and gnephew!" "That isn't how you spell niece and nephew?" Stan elbowed him.

"Nope!" Mabel said. "But it's how you abbreviate great-niece and great-nephew."

"Ah, I see! Very creative."

"Nice recovery," Stan muttered. Ford elbowed him back. Together they tore off the wrapping paper and opened their box.

Inside were two more boxes, each small enough to hold in one hand—a square one labeled "Stan" and a long narrow one labeled "Ford."

Stan opened his box and pulled out a thick gold chain with a coin dangling from it. Engraved on the coin in sloppy text were the words "#1 Grunkle."

Soos held up a hand. "I did the engraving! First try."

Mabel pointed at the coin. "We made it out of pirate treasure that we have for reasons that we can't talk about! There's a skull on the back!"

They'd hung it from his favorite gold chain. He'd been missing it for a week—and he'd never even suspected the kids. How about that. Choked up, Stan said, "It's—it's great." He took off the chain he was currently wearing, chucked it into the bushes, and put on his gift. "C'mere, you two." He wrapped his arms around Dipper and Mabel.

Soos held his arms out hopefully. Stan rolled his eyes, but waved him over for a hug too.

Ford opened his box. "A pen?"

Dipper said, "It has an ergonomic grip, can take standard ink refills, writes super smoothly—I tested it out myself—makes a very satisfying click, and it's red with gold trim to match your journals."

Mabel said, "I helped pick out the design!"

"... And that's why it's also sparkly."

"I didn't do the engraving on that one," Soos said. "We had a lotta spare pirate coins but only one pen, so. They got it done at the mall."

Ford rotated the pen in his hand until he spotted the (more professional-looking) engraving on the barrel, filled in with gold. "Mine says #1 Grunkle too?"

Dipper said, "C'mon, we're not gonna choose between you two."

Stan said, "Oh, I see how it is! Trying to butter us both up, are you?" He reached under Dipper's hat to ruffle his hair. Smiling, Ford carefully slid his gift into his coat's breast pocket next to his usual pen.

####

When Bill saw that Mabel was back outside, he got up, left the rest of his cake on the window seat, scooted aside a storage box sitting forgotten in a corner of the attic, and pried a loose board from the wall.

He took his stolen candles out of his hood, wrapped them in the party napkin Mabel had given him, and stashed them in a plastic sandwich bag where he'd already stowed a crushed cider can, its edges torn and sharp.

Then he re-hid the bag, fixed the wall, replaced the storage box, gently brushed some cobwebs over the floor to hide the trail in the dust where he'd scooted the box, and turned away from his hiding spot.

To see a gnome wearing a journal like a backpack.

They stared at each other.

"You didn't see anything," said Bill.

"Shmebulock," said Shmebulock.

Bill eyed Shmebulock, the staircase, the window—and then dropped into a crouch, knees and feet spread apart like a sumo wrestler, teeth bared.

Shmebulock cracked his knuckles.

Five minutes later, Bill added Journal 4 to his hiding spot, with a mental note to find a new hiding spot the gnomes didn't know about later.

Unfortunately, Shmebulock escaped with Bill's cake.

####

Wendy squinted up at the blonde shape in the attic window. "You know—all this last week, I kept thinking I saw someone up there. I just assumed it was my imagination," she said. "Guess Goldie didn't get invited to the birthday party, huh?"

"Nope," Dipper said. "And for good reason."

Wendy laughed. "Yeah, sounds it."

Dipper glanced toward his grunkles. At the moment, Ford was opening a cheap set of watercolor paints and giving Mabel an exasperated look. ("I thought we could try them out together! And hate them together!" "All right, that might be fun.") He lowered his voice and picked at his cake. "So. You found out the big secret, huh?"

"Yup," Wendy said. She lightly punched Dipper's shoulder. "Hey—don't look so glum, man. I'm not mad you didn't tell me. There's some kind of family drama and a missing person case involved. I get it—you don't talk about that kind of stuff outside the family."

"Yeah, hah. Right," Dipper said. "So, what do you think of... Goldie?"

Wendy glanced up at the figure in the window. "We didn't talk a whole bunch before Goldie and Stan started arguing about plagiarism," she said, "but I got that she's some kind of wildcard paranormal investigator who gives off insane grifter energy. And seems really mentally messed up from being trapped in another dimension, but like, the kind of messed up that probably makes you fun at parties?" She was already mentally playing Goldie off of her friend group, trying to figure out how well she'd mesh with them. She seemed like the kind of person who'd be into some harmless trespassing and recreational vandalism. "How old is Goldie? She was working on a Ph.D., so that's what, mid-20s? Mid-20s but actually mid-50s after not aging for thirty years? Honestly, if I just met her on the street I would've thought she was like, 15. She does not look her age." Maybe it was the lack of makeup?

Under his breath, Dipper muttered, "You have no idea." He glanced away from Wendy, stuffed a large forkful of cake in his mouth, and mumbled to himself, "How much should I say? Sharing too much could be dangerous, but if I don't say anything..." Mumble, mumble.

Wendy would never tell Dipper how funny it was that he monologued to himself and hoped nobody would notice. Usually she'd politely ignore him, but if there was something dangerous... She lightly elbowed him. "Dipper. Come on," she said. "I can tell something's eating you. You can trust me."

"Ugh, I know, but..." Dipper glanced again at the rest of the birthday party—just far enough to be out of earshot, currently entranced by some thingamajig Fiddleford had gifted the Stans—and let out a heavy sigh. Voice low, he said, "Okay, Wendy, listen. For your own safety, you need to know that Goldie is way worse than whatever you heard about him last night. And I can't tell you why, because of reasons I also can't tell you—believe me, I wish I could tell you, but—don't trust him, okay?" Dipper gave her an earnest, pleading look. "Just don't. He's dangerous. That's all I can say."

It figured that even after Wendy learned the big secret, she'd just find another, smaller secret hidden underneath. Like a matryoshka doll. (She quietly made note of the "he" and wondered if Goldie had been part of the queer scene in the 80s, or if he'd only figured himself out while he was in ghost land.) "I'm assuming he's dangerous for Weird Spooky Paranormal reasons?"

"Yeah," Dipper said, teeth grit. "Yeah, basically."

He wanted to tell her more, she wanted to know more, and she was ready to play 20 questions on Goldie's backstory. Picking through what she'd learned last night for clues, Wendy asked, "Is it connected to Ford's research? All the weird magic stuff he got into?"

"Um." Dipper shrugged uncertainly. "Y...yeah? But... bigger than that?"

"Is it portal stuff." What was the most dangerous thing she knew of that was connected to the portal. "Is it Bill stuff."

Dipper let out an anguished groan, pulled off his hat, and buried his face in it. "I can't tell you more than I already have!"

"Oh my god it's Bill stuff."

Dipper eloquently said, "MRRGHF."

"Okay got it, so Goldie was some kind of Bill groupie or discovered how to summon him or something. Something like that. I don't need to know the details! But he's totally Bill-adjacent."

"Yeah. Yeah. Yep." Dipper nodded emphatically. "Bill-adjacent is... the best way to describe Goldie."

"But Bill's gone, right? So Goldie's like a cultist without a cult leader. Doesn't that mean he's harmless now?" Wendy asked. "Or do you think he's gonna try to cause the apocalypse in honor of his boss or whatever."

Dipper tugged his hat back on his head and straightened it out. "I'm sure he'd try to end the world again if he could, but... we're all still trying to figure out what he can do."

"So, domestic terrorism risk. Cool," Wendy said. "Y'know, I sorta expected to run into a guy like that in the shack eventually, but I always thought they'd be here because of Stan, not Ford." She rolled her eyes. "I'll warn you if he starts talking about ending the world or anything."

"Thanks, Wendy." Dipper glanced uneasily toward the birthday party. (They were still distracted, currently trying to douse the flamethrower on Fiddleford's birthday gift. It was trying to eliminate the competitor gifts.) "Just... don't tell anybody else, okay? If the town finds out that Goldie is—you know—Bill-adjacent..."

"Relax." She pantomimed zipping her mouth. "I'm not gonna organize an angry mob."

She glanced up at the attic window. Goldie was still up there, staring down at the party. He noticed Wendy staring and made a face at her.

She made the same face back, and saw him silently laughing. Okay, he had bad taste in friends, obviously; but Goldie seemed kinda cool in an unhinged way. From what Wendy had gathered, Bill had conned and then betrayed half the people she knew—and if the Pines had only just managed to get Goldie back on this plane of reality, months after Weirdmageddon, that meant Bill hadn't bothered to rescue him when he could, so Goldie was just another victim. Maybe he just needed to be reintegrated into society.

Dipper said, "Hey, Stan just poured punch on the robot and it made the fire worse. Do you think we should help?"

Wendy looked at the fire—and looked up at the fire. She was moving before she spoke. "Yeah, let's do something about that."

They rejoined the rest of the party, and Wendy put Goldie out of her mind.

####

Ford stared at the ring on his left sixth finger.

Welcome back, the Hand Witch had said.

Thirty years ago, he'd met her at a carnival. She'd told him that he'd chosen the wrong allies and would doom himself for it. She'd given him a ring with a blue cabochon and told him that if it ever turned black, there was no hope for him.

He'd dismissed her as a phony palm reader; and, the night he'd decided Bill was right about Fiddleford not being bold enough to follow through with the portal project, the ring had turned black, and he'd thrown it in the lake.

Now here it was on his finger again.

He didn't think her a phony now. Everything she'd told him had been true. And anyway, it was hard to doubt she had real magic when she spent half the party trying to stop two small disembodied hands from escaping her pockets to visit Mabel. 

"Why are you giving this back to me?"

"It's your birthday! And I thought it might be useful."

"For what? Am I in danger?"

"I don't know, I'd have to give you another reading to see." She had pulled a cartomancy deck from her pocket. "Do you want me to?" The card on the bottom of the deck had been a triangle with a snake slithering through its eye socket.

Ford hadn't wanted a reading. He knew now that what he'd called superstition back at that carnival might be a legitimate form of prophecy he simply didn't understand; but he was tired of living his life by signs and portends.

All the same, it was comforting to see that his ring was blue.

Ford's view of the ring was blocked by Stan shoving over the "Get Out Of One Misdemeanor Free" coupon Mayor Cutebiker had given as his birthday gift. "Hey, do you think I'd get in trouble if I made a buncha copies of this?"

Ford took the coupon and inspected it thoughtfully. "If you do get in trouble... a coupon counterfeiting charge couldn't possibly be worse than a misdemeanor, could it?"

"That's what I like to hear!"

It had been a surprisingly long day—and, by far, the best birthday either of them had had in well over forty years. (Was it really that long?) Now they were retired to the parlor Soos and Abuelita had converted into a double guest room, sitting on their beds facing each other as they got ready for sleep.

There was a knock at the door. Ford stood. "Coming—" He opened the door to see Bill's grinning face, a foot from his own. "Oh. You." Ford resisted the urge to step back, in case Bill interpreted as an invitation to come in.

"Hiya, birthday boy!" Bill's gaze immediately drifted down to Ford's coat pocket. "Hey—new pen? I like the sparkle, adds a little pizazz."

"What do you want, Cipher."

"Just to hand this over." Bill pressed a couple of envelopes into Ford's chest, and kept them pinned there with a fingertip until Ford reluctantly took them. "I knew you'd hate getting something from me at your party, so just for you I waited until all the festivities were over. You're welcome."

Ford studied the envelopes. They were two pieces of yellow construction paper that had been folded into envelope shape, and written on each one, in lurching crayon text that drifted up and down, was "Stanford" and "Stanley". "You made cards?"

"You're flattered."

"I most certainly am not."

"'The lady doth protest too much, methinks.'" Bill shrugged. "Hey, they're your birthday gifts. Toss them in the fire if that makes you happiest. You just might wanna open them first—you know, to make sure I didn't write a fire-activated explosion spell on the inside."

Stan grabbed his envelope out of Ford's hand and eyed it in deep suspicion. "And why did you make these?"

"Because it's your birthday. Come on! Why am I explaining this, it's your species's ritual."

"I mean why are you doing it? We all hate each other. We're planning your execution, here," Stan said. "So what's your angle?"

"What do you need my measurements for, you pervert."

"ALL right—" Stan stepped toward Bill, cracking his knuckles, and was only stopped by Ford's hand across his chest.

Bill leaned back against the hallway's opposite wall. "Whoa! Consider this a peace offering! You know—'no hard feelings for all the murder, attempted or planned'! I can be a polite house guest, even if I'm not a voluntary one." Bill smiled wryly, "I'm trapped on an alien planet where I know less than a dozen people and all of them hate me. It gets boring." He looked directly in Ford's eyes. "And we've got history. Is it so hard to believe I might want to be friends again?"

This time, Stan had to put a hand across Ford's chest.

Ford said, "You're up to something."

"Is that a statement or a question?"

"Statement."

"Then you don't want an answer. Enjoy your gifts! Or don't, I'm not your boss." Bill waved, and slunk around the corner back toward the living room.

Ford shut the door. He sat on his bed, examined the envelope, and glanced at Stan, who was sitting on his bed doing the same thing.

They grimaced at each other.

"Okay," Stan said. "Is this more dangerous if we do open it or don't open it?" He hefted his envelope in his hand. "This thing's pretty heavy for just a card."

"Is it?" Ford's wasn't very heavy. He turned on a lamp on a bedside table and held the envelope up in front of it, trying to see through the construction paper. "I think he's counting on us to open these. I doubt he set a trap that will activate if we leave it closed—it's not his style."

"So, what do we think. Some kinda hypnotic mind-control magic that's activated by reading it? Or is he just trying to bribe us into liking him better?"

"He probably doesn't have hypnotic mind-control magic. If he did, why would he have spent so long trying to manipulate humans into doing his bidding?"

"I dunno, maybe he's stupid."

Testily, Ford said, "He's not stupid."

"No—listen, I've been thinking about this for months," Stan said. "You spent thirty years hopping between a zillion different dimension, right? If there's already safe portals out there, why'd he spend so long tricking someone into building a crummy one that'd destroy the universe, instead of using one of those? He's gotta be stupid!"

"I've... wondered the same thing about the portal," Ford admitted grudgingly. "But, no—I've seen him use so many roundabout tricks to manipulate minds that if he were capable of overt mind control, I'm sure he'd have used it by now."

"Fine, so mind control's off the table. But we're probably safer if we leave these alone. If we open them, they might be an annoying attempt to kiss up to us, or they might be dangerous." Stan waved his envelope like a fan. "And, we're gonna open them anyway, because not knowing will kill us, right?"

In his youth, Ford had arrogantly looked down on Pandora. "Of course we're going to open them."

They opened their envelopes.

They both contained a sheet of type paper folded in half with nothing on the front and messages written inside. Ford's read, "Stanford– I'd tell you to go to hell, but you'd barely be there long enough for it to be worth the trip. Happy birthday! –Δέος" Charming. Particularly out of the heel who'd just claimed he wanted to be friends.

"Hey, what is this?" Stan held his letter out for Ford to see: "Stanley– You were only the accomplice. I won't hold a grudge. Happy birthday! –Δέος" Stan pointed at the last word, "Is this some kind of curse?"

"A signature. Bill's real name isn't 'Bill Cipher'—it's just one of many nicknames he uses when communicating with humans. And, when writing to people who know him well, he prefers to sign with that nickname. It's pronounced déos." It meant awe—whether manifested in the form of fear or reverence. And it probably was no coincidence that Bill had picked a word that, to the untrained ear, sounded so much like the Latin deus—god.

Once, long ago, waking up to find his own hand had written a letter signed by "Awe" in a foreign alphabet had filled Ford with awe. Now... well, now it looked a little try-hard, didn't it. "Between you and me, I think Bill likes that signature best because it starts with a triangle." In Bill's handwriting, the delta looked unusually equilateral.

"Really fond of his own face, isn't he," Stan said, digging in the envelope for the rest of his "gift"—and he pulled out a handful of scratch cards. "What the...?"

How the heck had Bill gotten his hands on those? Ford checked to see if his envelope had the same—and came out with five pieces of notebook paper instead, still tattered on the edge from being torn out of a spiral notebook, covered front and back with writing—multiple languages, some inhuman, with a smattering of complex sigils and symbols. The first line on the first page read "Spell to Resurrect Fowl (chicken, turkey, duck, etc.—funny at dinner parties!)" Ford slapped the pages face down on his nightstand without reading the next line.

"What is it?" Stan asked.

"Magic," Ford said, voice flat with irritation.

"A trap—?"

"No. Magic for me. Spells I don't know. The kind of knowledge I'd—document in my journals."

Stan processed that. He tossed his scratch cards down on his own nightstand. "Lemme get this straight," he said. "Less than two weeks since he tried to kill us, with no access to the outside world and no resources at his disposal but his stupid wits—without even getting his hands on a freaking envelope—he somehow managed to get us both thoughtful, considerate gifts that are deeply relevant to our personal interests and passions! Is that about right?"

"It seems to be, yes."

"That jerk! I oughta ring his neck!"

Ford nodded in agreement. "I didn't know you're into scratch cards." He tamped down the urge to lecture Stan on the statistical improbability of making a profit.

"See, if even you didn't know, now I'm even madder that he does!" Stan groaned in frustration. "I kicked the habit. Still like playing 'em if I get them as a gift."

"Hmm." That was all right, then. Couldn't lose money on scratch cards if somebody else had spent the money.

They glared together at their thoughtful, relevant, deeply unwanted gifts, trying to decide what to do about them. Stan was the first to let out a resigned sigh and snatch his up. "What the heck. They're already paid for, I'm not gonna throw away potential free money just because it came from him." He fished around in his discarded pants pockets for a quarter. "But I'm not gonna enjoy myself!" He flipped through the cards, noting they were each labeled in a corner from 1/11 to 11/11, and muttered, "Why'd he draw triangles on some of the numbers?"

Well, if Stan had caved into his curiosity... Back into the box, Pandora, and perhaps we'll find hope at the bottom.

"Mabel must've helped him get these," Stan said. "It's the only way. And these cards have glitter and unicorns all over them." He scratched off his first card, and said, "Hey, three bunny faces—how 'bout that? I made thirty bucks already."

"At least it's not a total waste," Ford muttered, skimming the pages before him.

It was a treasure trove.

A spell to uncook food. The cipher to decrypt the Voynich manuscript. A potion to change eye color. A river stone submerged not five miles away that, when dry, hovered. A ritual involving five hours of meditation and a lot of mushrooms that opened up psychic communication with Earth's nearest alien neighbors. An illusion to make the floor look like lava. ("Good for games if you're very bored and oppressed by gravity.") The names of five hitherto-unknown demon nobles, the sigils to summon and bind them, the fields of knowledge and political influence in which they were most helpful, and a few personal tips on how to best to twist their arms into doing a favor. A complicated way to grind glasses that let one see, depending on prescription strength, anywhere from several seconds to several minutes into the future. And on and on.

And Bill didn't just toss down a few mystical-sounding words and move on: in a few terse sentences after each spell, he hinted at the principles that made them work (freely mixing magic, physics, and metaphysics), the people who'd created or discovered the trick (whether human, inhuman, unearthly, or transdimensional), where Ford could go digging to independently verify the information if he didn't want to take Bill's word for it—and what other, greater things someone might use these tricks to do, if only they fully understood how they worked, if only they had the right teacher. Bill had filled the margins, scribbled extra info in red pen in between the rows of black to double the amount of text he could cram on each line. Ford could fill an entire journal just by copying, disentangling, and expanding on everything Bill had packed into this dense five-page grimoire.

Bill had given Ford more in this letter than he had in all the years he'd been posing as Ford's friend—excluding those accursed portal blueprints. He'd shared the kinds of things Ford had always dreamed his Muse might show him. He gave it away like a free sample to entice a new customer. Five pages of deep secrets meant nothing to Bill and his infinite knowledge. He could have done this all along. He only did it now to try to bribe Ford into sparing his life: see what you could miss out on?

As Ford read the pages, his hands trembled in rage.

"—two hundred dollars, two hundred fifty dollars," Stan muttered. "Those are the biggest yet." He waved the scratch cards at Ford. "I don't understand it! That's eight winners in a row! I've made almost a thousand bucks just by scratching these off—that's not luck! How's he do it? What kinda weird alien magic gives you scratch card telepathy?"

"I don't know. I had no idea he could identify winning scratch cards," Ford said. "But I'm not surprised."

Stan shook his head in amazement, and scratched the next card.

Ford crushed the notepaper pages into a ball.

And he smoothed them back out. Bill was a monster, but this knowledge was precious. 

He looked at the Hand Witch's ring like it might tell him the correct course; but no matter which way his thoughts swayed, the gem remained a steady blue.

"This card's a thousand bucks all by itself," Stan said. "I've never won a thousand in my life. There's no way..." He scratched furiously at the last card, revealing symbols patterned after an array of gems and jewelry. "Five hundred!" Scratch scratch scratch— "Times five?! That's—!" He seized up all his cards and quickly tallied his winnings. "That's a total of nearly five thousand dollars!" He let out a disbelieving laugh. "Who needs Vegas? This monster's been better to me than she ever has!"

"Stanley, that's exactly what he wants you to think," Ford snapped. "He's giving us everything we want so we'll be more reluctant to kill him. This is less than chump change to him! Don't forget that his goal—"

"I know! I'm not stupid, I know what he's doing. Lotto numbers aren't worth the safety of the universe. But sh—shoot, Stanford, he handed me five grand for free and I'm keeping it."

"Fine," Ford said. "Fine. I suppose there's no point in throwing it away on principle."

"Darn straight!"

Ford glowered down at his underhanded "gift"—this little glimpse behind the veil into the mysteries of the universe. His whole chest bubbled and burned with rage; but beneath it—twinkling like a lonely star, twinkling like hope at the bottom of Pandora's box—was something he hadn't felt since Bill betrayed him.

Awe.

It was like waking up to a letter from his Muse.

This was who Bill could be—gift-giver, wish-granter, teacher, guide, friend—and he chose not to be. Why?! When this was so easy for him—why did he have to be what he was instead?

This charitable act only made the true Bill look even worse by contrast.

Ford re-smoothed the pages, carefully folded them in half, and stored them back in their construction paper envelope. He'd leave them there until he'd independently researched every one of these spells and ensured they did what Bill said they did and that there weren't any hidden side-effects.

And then he'd see about adding this information to his current journal.

No point throwing it away on principle.

####

(Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed, I'd deeply appreciate hearing your thoughts! Thanks!)

#(me drawing Ford: *checks image reference a dozen times for tiny details*) #(me drawing Stan: *scrawls him out without consulting a reference once* Yeah that's grunkle shaped. Post it.) #grunkle stan #grunkle ford #bill cipher #human bill cipher #gravity falls #gravity falls fic #gravity falls fanart #my writing #my art #bill goldilocks cipher

[is-the-snake-video-cute]

um, how tf are bp breeders worse than dog breeders for scaleless snakes? if you wanna call out bad breeding, talk about pugs and american bulldogs, ffs. nothing wrong with wanting cool looking snakes

I'll be honest, I don't really see the point in asking "but what about-" here. Multiple things can be bad at once. I didn't say anything about dog breeding because these posts were specifically about snakes, I am a herpetologist, and I don't generally post about the ethics of dog breeding on this blog. I can honestly say I did not have "get scolded for not talking about dog breeding" on my bingo card for today.

More importantly, there's literally nothing wrong with wanting cool looking snakes. The problem is putting aesthetics over animal welfare; I do not see any excuse for purposefully breeding animals with a lower quality of life simply because they "look cool." That's cruel and I will always call it out when I see it.

#not a rating #snake breeding

[neoarchipelago]

Madripoor High (Part 4)

A/N: There's a few talks of Simon's canon backstory in here.

Warnings: Violence, Sexual content, Abuse, Torture, Sexual abuse

Even your simple shoes echoed on the marble floor of the hotel. Simon had groaned and complained about your choice of hotel for the night but caved in. You walked to the front desk, the big scary man behind you gaining everyone's attention. 

"Good afternoon. How may I help you?" The desk clerk asked, a soft smile on his face, but eyes gazing at the hooded masked lieutenant. 

"I'd like to know if you have any rooms available." 

"Oh, of course, let me check. How long would you like to stay?" He asked, typing away at his computer. 

You turned to Simon, asking him. 

"Not more than a night." He mumbled. 

The clerk nodded, forcing a smile on his lips. The situation didn't look nice at all. The big scary man next to you, almost making it seem like he had… kidnapped you. Fuck. You searched through your bag, getting your wallet and picking up one of the black cards and the identity card that went with that one, putting it in front of the Clerk. 

"Here, put everything on my card." 

"Oh. Very well, miss… Riley." The clerk smiled. 

Oh… yes. You had in fact used Riley as a fake name. You bit your lip smirking, avoiding Simon's gaze. 

"And… will you be sharing a room with… Mr..?" He asked. 

"Mr Riley." You chuckled, trying to hold back your laughter. The clerk nodded again, smiling up at the man. 

"Well, we have one room left, one of the Master suites!" The clerk smiled. You smiled back. "I'll be checking you in, and making sure your suite is ready, it'll take a few minutes. You may sit in the lounge, and a drink will be offered." He invited. 

"Thank you." You smiled, turning back to Simon and looping your arms through his. 

"Let's go Mr Riley." 

He tensed but walked nonetheless. 

"Mrs Riley…?" He hissed under his breath. 

"A fake name… don't worry." You hissed, your smile never faltering. 

You took a seat in one of the sofa chairs, Simon sitting in front of you. 

"Aren't we supposed to be low-key…?" He said. 

"Sometimes not hiding is the best way to hide." You smirked. 

He shook his head. 

"Calm down. Enjoy the stay. We have to find some proper clothes for tonight." You mumbled. 

"This is being a bit more risky than we expected. Price is probably going to call me." He said. 

"Call him then. Keep him informed." You inquired. 

He nodded, grabbing his phone. 

"I'll be right back." 

You smiled at him as he stood and walked back into the lobby. 

You sighed. You closed your eyes letting your head fall back a bit. This tangle of a mission was becoming a bit too hard to unravel.

"Miss? Is… everything alright?" 

You opened your eyes looking up at the server. 

"Oh hi… yes I am." 

He looked at the lobby, worried look in his eyes. 

"Do… Do you need help?" He whispered. 

Bingo. 

"Help?" You asked. 

"Hum… yeah…" he pointed towards the lieutenant. 

You chuckled. 

"Oh.. no no. He's my bodyguard. But thank you for worrying. It's amazing of you to do so." You offered him a sweet smile. 

He relaxed, before taking your order. A simple cocktail would do. 

Ghost walked back to the table, sitting in front of you. 

"I ordered for you. With a straw." You teased. 

He glared at you. 

"They'll be joining us. Probably be here in an hour." He informed you. 

You nodded. 

"Well, we need proper clothes for a night club. We'll drop our stuff in the room and go shopping." You said. He seemed annoyed. 

"Don't like shopping?" You smirked. He didn't need to answer. "Alright. I'll find another way." You smiled gently. 

He nodded as a thanks. The drinks were put down in front of you, the server smiling at you but avoiding your 'bodyguards' gaze. You sipped on your drink, checking your phone for anything interesting from the data that you collected from the dealer's phone. Lots of text messages. Clients, other drug dealers. A few from his boss, that being the most interesting ones. Finishing your drinks, the clerk walked to you. 

"Mrs Riley. Your suite is ready. Here are your electronic keys." 

You thanked him, rising to your feet. You were dying to lay down for a little while. The way to the elevator and up was drowned in silence. You almost skipped your way to the door of the suite. When the door opened, showing a large living room, an open view on the large bed, you almost squealed happily. You ran dropping your bag on the couch before jumping on the bed, giggling. You didn't notice the way the lieutenant looked at you, amused. 

"Let's rest a bit. We got a few hours ahead of us." You heard. 

You happily agreed, kicking your shoes off and upping yourself on the bed to grab a pillow and cuddle it. You didn't exactly feel like napping but you were slightly tired. Before you could actually rest you decided to look for some way to bring clothes to the hotel. 

"Hey…" You whined, cuddling the pillow closer. "Tracker…" . You frowned through your sleep. 

"Not yet… please…" you whined. A sigh met your plea. A soft brush on your forehead, a strand of hair being pushed aside. 

"Wake up. Come on." It was slightly more firm now, contrasting with the soft touch of the gloves. 

You blinked your eyes open, Ghost having already taken three preventive steps back. 

"There's people with clothes waiting in the living room." He said. 

You took a deep breath, sitting up on the bed. You tangled your fingers through your messed up hair, finding the courage to finally stand. Following Ghost into the living room, you greeted the professionals, standing in front of clothing racks full of clothing for men and women. The room phone rang, Ghost picking it up. 

"The team is here." He told you. 

"Right on time." You smiled. 

Thirty minutes later, everyone was trying out clothes. Valeria was particularly enjoying it, taking time to choose a good outfit and making you try various as well, the more outfits you tried the more skin was showing. 

"Valeria. No." You stated. 

"Valeria yes!" She countered. 

You rolled your eyes. 

"This one!" She chimed, holding a pretty creamy satin dress. It hugged the curves, spaghetti straps on the shoulder. You didn't truly have time to say anything as she pushed you to the bathroom as gaz was walking out. She pushed him out of the way, throwing you in and closing the door. 

"God damn it…" you cursed under your breath. 

Ok, maybe it wasn't that bad. It hugged the right place, no matter how fluffy those places were. This might be it. You stepped out, looking for Valeria's approval, falling eye to eye with Simon, standing near the couch. He wore a black hoodie, a black leather jacket on top, hood on but black skull face mask. He eyed you up and down quickly before looking away. 

"There you go, you sexy thing!" Valeria's proud voice rang loudly. 

"Are you trying to seduce me?" You teased her. 

"Always muñeca." She winked. 

You walked to the lieutenant, his body stiffening. 

"Y/N. Can we brief on the mission for a moment?" Price called from across the room. 

Odd. 

"Sure!" You answered walking to him. Everyone was dressed appropriately for a night club, chest hair, and tight shirts. 

"What you got?" He asked with a smile, making you frown. 

"Let's step in the bedroom, I'll show you on my laptop." You answered. 

Once in the room, you closed the curtain doors, though it wouldn't help much. You sat on the bed, patting the space next to you. He smirked while sitting down. 

"What's wrong?" You asked with a soft smile. 

"What do you mean?" He smiled wider. 

"You know everything on the mission. The Lieutenant has been religiously informing you. You called me to get me away from him. Why?" You asked in a lower soft voice. 

He sighed, holding his hands together as he braced himself on his knees. 

"The lieutenant… has had a hard past." 

"Who hasn't.." you mumbled. 

"Particularly hard. He… without going into detail, it's not my place… was tortured." 

You frowned. Not that it was unusual for a soldier but, something made you feel uneasy. The thought that he, in particular, had suffered it. 

"Unfortunately there was also sexual torture." 

"Sounds like a kink…" you smirked weakly, trying to lighten the mood. Unfortunately, you knew what it meant. He huffed a chuckle but remained at that. 

"So..?" You frowned. 

"He might be uncomfortable. With you, close up looking all … hum.." 

"Yummy?" You teased. 

He chuckled. "Yeah… that. He won't admit it, but he's kind of afraid of his own feelings and behavior." 

You thought for a second. Alright. You could stay away from it for the night. 

"Alright. No problem." You smiled. 

"Thank you." 

You nodded. 

Your way to the club was filled with chatter. You all had a briefing, let yourself mingle in the crowd. You and Valeria had to drag Tashy out back to the hotel or in a secluded place. Easy enough. You sat in the back, Price driving the van you had rented to fit everyone, Ghost sitting in the passenger seat. You sat in the far back with Alejandro in the middle and Valeria on his left. You couldn't stop yourself from throwing glances at him from across the van. 

"Caught your attention?" Valeria whispered across Alejandro, making him frown. 

"What?" You whispered back, leaning over Alejandro to also get close to her. 

"The masked pendejo." She said. 

"What's it with you, who catches my attention?" You whispered back. 

"It's unusual. That's all." She teased. 

"You know what's not unusual? You, starving over Alejandro's cock." You spat back. 

"Oy! I'm right here!" He said loudly, gaining attention from everyone in the van. 

"What's happening back there?" Soap asked, full of curiosity. 

"Y/N-" Valeria started. 

"Valeria want to suck Alejandro and I'm holding a fucking candle!" You interrupted loudly. 

"Puta madre Y/N!" Valeria cursed, Alejandro following. 

The van filled with laughter as you glared at her. 

Arriving at the club, you easily walked in, the rumor that a billionaire and her friends were in town quickly spreading. You rolled with it, after all, it wasn't fake news. You asked for a VIP corner which the club owner was greedily happy to provide. 

You knew it all too well. Money attracts rats like honey attracts bees. The noisy club made your heart jump. It reminded you of madripoor. The smell of alcohol and acid in the air. You sighed. You had opened the corner to some people in the crowd, after all you had to pretend you were here for fun, being secluded was going to attract attention. Various bottles of alcohol sprawled on the table, laughter and voices trying to break over the sound of the music. Everyone was enjoying themselves, or at least trying, while keeping an eye out for Tashy. 

Valeria stood next to you as watched over the club from the balcony VIP corner. She sipped on her drink, looping her arm in yours. 

"How long has it been? When was the last time we got out together?" She half screamed in your ear, making you wince. 

"Too long. Someone had to go and end up in jail." You teased. 

She winked at you, making you smile. Yes, it was a love and hate relationship, but you loved that girl. She was your friend, however crazy and annoying she was. You let your head flop on her shoulder, a laugh shaking through her body. She placed a kiss on your cheek before walking away. You watched her leave, eyes catching a little scene behind her. Ghost leaned against a wall, a lady's hand on his chest as she obviously flirted with him. His body screamed uncomfortably. 

You glanced at Price who sat next to Gaz with some ladies, he too, was watching the scene.

His eyes fell into yours, he was going to stand as you raised your hand to tell him to remain in his seat. You walked over to the poor Lieutenant as he looked up to watch you. 

"Who the fuck are you?!" You spat menacingly. The girl glared at you. 

"Who the fuck are you?" She spat back. 

"The one who's paying for this pretty corner and that grey goose in your fucking cup." You answered. 

She seemed to realize her mistake, wanting to remain in the high class corner of the club. 

"Oh hum… didn't know he was yours… sorry." She said, lowering her gaze. 

"Get the fuck away." You threatened. 

She didn't say anything else as she scurried off to the girlfriends. You glared at her all the time she walked away. 

"Thanks." You heard close to your ear. You shivered slightly. 

"You don't have to stay. Price and the others are here." You told him, getting close to his ear as well. "Go back to the hotel room." 

"No." 

Stubborn idiot. You visibly sighed, shaking your head. His eyes squinted. 

"You know." He said. 

"No. I imagine. I think it's worse." You said looking away. 

"I don't want your pity." He snarled. 

You gave him an offended look, stepping closer. 

"It's not pity! It's fucking rage!" You answered, surprising him. 

You turned your back, walking away, back to Valeria. 

"What's wrong?" She asked. 

"In the mood for trouble. Any views on the target?" You asked. 

"He just walked in." She answered with a wide grin and a wink thrown your way. 

You nodded, taking the last sip of your drink as she downed hers. Both putting your empty cups down on the table, she looped her arm in yours again as you aimed for the stairs, ready to lose yourselves in the dancing bodies and spilled drinks. You felt the heavy gazes of the boys on you, Alejandro and Rudy uncomfortable to let Valeria out of their reach, the others… you didn't know exactly. 

Walking through the crowd was slightly easier than expected, money really was a powerful thing as they left a bit of a place for you both to walk. Valeria walked you to the ladies bathroom, making sure to pass near the table of the dealer boss. It was perfect. As you walked out of the bathroom, two broad men stood nearby, stopping the two of you.

"Ladies, our boss would like to offer you a drink at his table." One said. 

You looked at each other, pretending to think about it as Valeria pretended to try to convince you. You 'caved in' at her offer as they both walked you towards Tashy's table.

"Ladies! Welcome to the club! How are you enjoying the party so far?" He immediately rang as you both sat down on either side of him. 

"Not bad. Been to bigger places though." You answered with a teasing smile. 

You let Valeria do most of the talking as you pretended to be bored. 

"What's wrong, love?" The man asked, his arms wrapping around your shoulders. You wanted to punch him but you retrained yourself. 

"Well. This is getting boring. Might turn to a more… private party. What do you think Jessie?" You asked, turning to Valeria. 

"Oh well. That'd be lovely" she said, tone clearly implying dirty things. You bit your lip softly, dragging the attention of the man towards the movement. 

"Should we invite our new friend here?" She asked, dragging a finger down his chest. 

"Think he's interested?" You asked, looking him in the eyes through your lashes.  

"Well… who wouldn't, ladies?" He answered with a sheepishly wide grin. 

"Should we take him to the suit? Him and his men?" Valeria kept teasing. 

"Oh that'd be lovely." 

He agreed. The idiot. 

He had nicely driven the both of you in his  fancy car. The rest of the team had already left the club, waiting for you in the hotel room. In the lobby you walked to the clerk, handing him a few hundreds, asking him for some privacy on the things he has been witnessing. He didn't blink, probably used to bribes. 

You and Valeria hugged the man as he arms rested on the small of your back, the two big bodyguards standing right behind the two of you. Tashy was proudly displaying drugs and his high ring of drug dealing, that dumbass used to rich girls who loved substances and sex, doing anything to end up in his sheets. 

You unlocked the door to the suite, the five of you walking in. It seemed absolutely empty as you separated from the man, offering him another drink to 'heat up the room'. Valeria happily chimed in walking to you. 

It was the perfect moment for the rest of the team, erupting from their hidden places, jumping on the two bodyguards as you calmly poured yourself and Valeria a drink. You handed it to her, glass clicking together before you turned back to the scene, all three men on the ground, the bodyguards knocked out and Tashy hands behind his back, being pulled back up to sit on a chair. 

"Nice job!" Soap said, looking at the both of you. 

Valeria happily kissed your neck, making you shake your head as she walked back to Alejandro and Rudy. You sat on the couch, crossing your legs as you leaned back. 

"I get I'm not gonna be able to use that pussy." The dealer spat from his chair, surrounded by the team. 

"Wahou. You drug dealers surely got a lot of Rizz. Do you actually get women like that?" You questioned sarcastically. 

"Fucking bitch!" He spat. 

"Mrs Bitch for you." You said, rolling your eyes. 

"Sorry to interrupt. But we have a few questions for you." Price said, face suddenly serious, bringing the man's attention towards him. 

"Perhaps you should go to your room." Valeria said, handing you the dealer's phone. 

You understood what it meant. Things you didn't really want to see were about to happen. 

"Alright… try not to be too noisy so the rest of the hotel doesn't get called." You said as you stood up. 

"Sure." Soap said. 

The boys were incredibly serious. It made you feel uneasy. Perhaps the gaze in Simon's eyes was the most terrifying of them all. You shivered, crossing his gaze as you walked to him. 

"Put on your headphones." He ordered. 

You swallowed, before nodding. He noticed but didn't say anything. You walked to the room, closing the curtain doors and immediately putting on your headphones. You'd work on the phone while they…  interrogated Tashy. 

A full hour later, you had found a whole interesting circle. Higher ups and higher ups. But the most interesting things were message from a certain 'snake' who had given Tashy a meet up point with what you suspected had been Echo. It's funny. How a little recording, in a bad condition was enough for you to track what is probably one of the biggest secret in Madripoor at the moment. A body appeared through the curtains. You smiled at the skull mask who walked to you. 

You took out your loud headphones, watching him sit on the bed..

"Anything?" He asked. 

"A few clues. Gonna need to look deeper into it. What about you?" 

"A few things. Waiting on a local team to pick him up. We'll report tomorrow." He explained. 

You were half listening. You were staring. A tiny, little, droplet of red on his mask was captivating your attention. 

"Tracker?" He called. 

You put your laptop aside, scooting closer. He stiffened, staring at you. You raised your hand. He immediately caught your wrist in a bruising grip. You winced. 

"I'm not… going to take it off!" You hissed. 

He slowly, unwillingly let go. You inched your hand closer, slightly touching the right cheek of the bone mask, whipping the droplet of blood with your thumb. 

You let your hand fall, watching the red stain on your skin. 

"Sorry." 

You looked up at him, as he looked down at your finger. 

"It's nothing." You said, getting up to walk to the bathroom, washing your hands. 

When you walked back, he hadn't moved from the bed. And he was still looking at you. 

"I'll be taking the couch with Soap." 

You frowned. 

"You can share the bed with me. That couch don't fit two of you." You said. 

"I'm not sharing the bed with you." 

"Fine. I'll ask Soap then." You smiled. He seemed to not really enjoy the idea. "What? Scared I'm going to stab him in his sleep like the villain I am?" You told him, frustrated. He remained silent, thinking. 

"We can share the bed." He finally said, standing and walking away to the other room. 

Had he taken you seriously? You felt actually annoyed now. Whatever. 

You had hopped into bed while they took care of the Trashy problem. Soap was staying on the couch for the night while you had managed to find another room in the hotel for the rest of the team. A last minute cancellation. 

Ghost walked in, looking up at you as you typed on your phone. He didn't say a word as he walked to the bathroom. A few minutes later he walked out, jogging and a tight t-shirt as pajamas. You tried not to stare going back to your phone. He slipped into bed, next to you, back turned to your body. You sighed, putting your phone on your night stand and sitting down the light before also turning your back at him, closing your eyes. 

The bed moved. You frowned. You opened your eyes, the heaviness of sleep weighing on you. You turned to look at your bed roomie. His breath was fast, cheats rising fast as his brows were furrowed. Was he… having a nightmare? 

You stood on your forearm, hand rising to touch his chest. It was a second. He was fast. The hand around your neck tightened bruisingly, cutting your airflow. You barely had time to panic as he stood over your body, eyes furious and lost in his panic. He was still lost in his dream. You could see it. Your hands grabbed his wrist, trying to make him let go, scratching the skin there. 

"S..Simon…" you whispered through the pressure against your neck. 

His eyes widened, immediately realizing his position and releasing his killing grip, hand falling next to you to brace himself instead. You closed your eyes, catching your breath. Was he… shaking? You opened them to fall into deep auburn ones, shock and worry filled his gaze. You took another deep breath, before smiling softly. He flinched slightly. You raised your hands, he flinched again. Cupping his cheeks through the simple balaclava you softly rubbed your thumbs over his cheeks, looking up at him with soft eyes. You wanted to calm him down. He closed his eyes, leaning into your touch ever so slightly. 

You let your hands travel to the back of his neck, applying a tiny bit of pressure. His eyes snapped open, confused. 

"Shh… trust me." You whispered again. 

In a slow, almost scared movement, he let you bring him down to your chest. You closed your eyes, relieved. One hand on his head, thumb caressing, another on his back softly scratching up and down through the shirt. His breath evened slowly. You knew that even like that, he was still in the haze of his nightmare, his brain probably fogged up. He would never have let you hold him like that otherwise. He would never have snaked his arms around you. Let himself turn to his side bringing you closer to him as he buried his face in your chest. You blushed. Heavily. Thank god the room was dark and Soap was sleeping. 

His hand sneaked under your shirt, feeling the skin of your back as you kept rubbing his back. He didn't move anymore. Didn't go further and didn't slip away. Time passed and you could feel his chest finally rising slowly at an even pace. You let out a deep breath, closing your eyes. He was glued to you. 

You remained with your eyes closed. It was… warm. His large hand on your back, skin to skin… was… comforting. You should probably scoot away from him. This wasn't… professional. But it was comfortable. And it made you feel… good. Safe. He moved slightly, intertwining his legs with yours, making it unable for you to move away. Well… that made up your mind. Perhaps. Just for tonight. It was ok. 

-_-_-_-_-_-_

@thychuvaluswife @emily-roberts @warrior-of-justice @gh0stedddd @ladyelissarose

@kiruoris @kaeyamain-zonglilover @salsa-reads-stuff @coacaiyne

#fanfics #fanfiction #fanfic #simon ghost riley #simon riley #ghost cod #captain price #simon ghost riley smut #cod mw2 #john soap mactavish #ghost mw2 #ghost #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley art #price cod #cod modern warfare #soap cod #cod #valeria mw2 #alejandro mw2 #alejandro vargas

[asterias-record-shop]

—𓆩[shuffle play || masterlist]𓆪—

𓆩[main masterlist]𓆪 𓆩[request/ask me something!]𓆪 𓆩[updated bingo card!]𓆪 𓆩[join the bingo taglist!]𓆪

AGH I’M SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG, BUT HEY, IT’S UP! This is for my 100 followers' event ‘Shuffle Play’ and if you have any requests, just submit them! How to request is in the link ‘updated bingo card!’ I hope y’all enjoy all of them, and I hope you guys love them just as much as I do! Don't be afraid to request, and thank you! This will be updated with each fic ♡

—𓆩[will they, won't they]𓆪— 𓆩♡𓆪 FIRST SPOT — FRIENDS TO LOVERS ♡ TASM! Peter Parker  ❦ You and Peter had a more… complicated friendship. Best friends since childhood and ever since then, you both have always danced around your feelings. You finally decide to drop your feelings for your best friend after he starts spending more time with Gwen Stacy and decided to go out on a date with one of the jocks from school and pull away from Peter, unbeknownst to you him, Gwen, and some more of your best friends are planning a giant date proposal for you.

—𓆩[on show]𓆪— 𓆩♡𓆪 SECOND SPOT — YANDERE ♡ Finnick Odair  ❦ Finnick has always taken care of you, and he had shown that by murdering everyone that ever touched you and winning you over just as easily as you did him. The Quarter Quell has come, and he will never let anyone lay a hand on you again, and neither will you.

—𓆩[recharge]𓆪—   𓆩♡𓆪 THIRD SPOT — PILLOW PRINCESS        ♡ Ethan Landry            ❦ You and Ethan were an odd couple, he was more introverted while you were always wanting to do something until your energy burnt out. When it did burn out though, there was always one thing that could fix it- or, one person; Ethan Landry.

—𓆩[something worse]𓆪—   𓆩♡𓆪 FOURTH SPOT — BREEDING KINK        ♡ Tobias Eaton            ❦ You and Four had been together since he chose Dauntless, especially because you were one of the Dauntless born pulled into training. You both had never put a label on your relationship because it never seemed right, but everyone knew that you both were a couple, except the newest tributes you both were training, no matter how obvious you both made it. It seems you both have to make it a little more obvious.

—𓆩[be jealous]𓆪—   𓆩♡𓆪 FIFTH SPOT — SOULMATE        ♡ Finnick Odair            ❦ If there was one thing that the Capitol wasn’t, it was kind. So when they input the law where soulmates cannot be put into the same game, you and Finnick have to come clean about your relationship in the Quarter Quell - even if it’s too late.

—𓆩[i'll be gentle]𓆪—   𓆩♡𓆪 SIXTH SPOT — VIRGIN        ♡ Finnick Odair            ❦ You were the first person Finnick actually fell in love with, his best friend. A survivor of one of the games after he was called into his own, winning by your skill of trapping and running, you were quickly a fan favorite and everyone had their eyes on you, even though your more ‘innocent’ mindset was still intact after the games. With everyone in District 13 eyeing you, including Gale, Finnick decides he has to show everyone who you belong to.

—𓆩[movie night]𓆪—   𓆩♡𓆪 SEVENTH SPOT — ENEMIES TO LOVERS        ♡ Ethan Landry            ❦ Ethan had a school boy crush on you - it was the best way to explain how he felt about you. He loved the nights of bickering during movie nights, but when he gets told that he needs to kill you because you’re going to get in the way, he can’t. You get shaken up and aren’t your normal self so he goes to check on you, and one thing leads to something he truly didn’t expect to happen.

—𓆩[so good, baby]𓆪—   𓆩♡𓆪 EIGHTH SPOT — OUT OF THEIR LEAGUE        ♡ Ethan Landry            ❦ Ethan wasn’t someone people thought would end up with you, but it didn’t stop you from getting him to fall for you, like it was hard. He never told you about his inexperience, but when you start teasing him during tutoring and bring him back to your house, he can’t really stop what he thinks will happen - not that he wants to.

—𓆩[we go down together]𓆪—   𓆩♡𓆪 NINTH SPOT — WEDDING NIGHT        ♡ Andrew Garfield            ❦ Andrew promised you that he would make sure your wedding was perfect. He didn’t care how much it cost, where it would be, who was invited, as long as he was marrying you. Even then though, as much as he wanted to stick by the rules and not see you on the special day, he sneaks a peak and sees a small little surprise you had just for him.

—𓆩[my beautiful idiot]𓆪—   𓆩♡𓆪 TENTH SPOT — HIMBO        ♡ TASM! Peter Parker            ❦ You and Peter have been best friends for what seemed like eternity, and has been in love with you for what seemed like forever, but he’s not going to give up — no matter how much it seems like you don’t like him back. The kid you babysit though that is way too old to be babysat disagrees though and tries to show him how much you were in love with him too.

—𓆩[cupid's arrow]𓆪—   𓆩♡𓆪 ELEVENTH SPOT — OUT OF THEIR LEAGUE (repeat spot)        ♡ TASM! Peter Parker            ❦ You were surprised when you found out that Peter fucking Parker was single, and you quickly fixed that. It was a surprise to everyone, especially him, when they found out you were interested in him - the head cheerleader and a physics nerd? Even then though, when a party occurs, and his friends get to know more about you and think you’re so fucking cool — a wasted Peter gets jealous of how much they have your attention.

—𓆩[red suit, red dress]𓆪—   𓆩♡𓆪 TWELVTH SPOT — HIGH SCHOOL SWEETHEARTS        ♡ Dylan O'Brien            ❦ You and Dylan had been together since he was shooting YouTube videos, and even replaced Holland as Lydia in Teen Wolf after a family emergency, and had been his partner in every film he shot from American Assassin to Love and Monsters to The Outfit. Besides, who could have better chemistry with Dylan than you?

—𓆩[warmth]𓆪—   𓆩♡𓆪 THIRTEENTH SPOT — SPOILED RICH READER        ♡ Stiles Stilinski            ❦ No one expected you and Stiles to start dating. Come on, a rich vampire posing as a high school student who could’ve been a real life Cullen? Fuck no. But, it happened, and Stiles fucking loves you - and your fangs - probably more than he should, and he wants to try something.

—𓆩[the perfect virgin]𓆪—   𓆩♡𓆪 FOURTEENTH SPOT — MOMMY KINK        ♡ Ethan Landry            ❦ You were originally attracted to Ethan because he looked like a boy who had never been touched by a woman - ever. Your corruption kink was going haywire, and it was the main reason why you pursued him before you got way too attached to his stupid nerdy personality and his utter obliviousness to anything that has to do with sex, so you decide to put him to a… test of sorts.

—𓆩[men like him]𓆪—   𓆩♡𓆪 FIFTEENTH SPOT — SPOILED RICH BOY        ♡ Finnick Odair            ❦ The biggest rule about a sugar daddy-baby relationship is that you can’t gain feelings, ever. Never fall in love. Finnick was the one to break that rule - not you, sadly, as much as he wanted you to - and since then, he’s been trying to get you to fall in love with him too. But obviously, as a sugar baby, you’re doing something right by hiding your true feelings from your sugar daddy who also has to be fine as hell.

—𓆩[secret admirer]𓆪—   𓆩♡𓆪 SIXTEENTH SPOT — DARK FIC        ♡ Ethan Landry            ❦ Ethan knew you were the perfect target whenever he met you. Oh you were perfect; beautiful,, sweet, funny, smart… but at the same time, so fucking stupid. He started sending you small things at first, your favorite candy and a CD with music that reminded him of you with a record player, but he needed more. He needed to make you know who he was, he needed you to love him. He couldn’t stay in the shadows anymore, and now that he’s finally sent you the biggest thing ever, he’s ready to reveal who he is - right after his first kill.

—𓆩[give me the word]𓆪—   𓆩♡𓆪 SIXTEENTH SPOT — CUM DUMP        ♡ Jimmy Keene            ❦ Everyone knew you were Jimmy’s girl, everyone. It didn’t stop them from trying to steal you away, though, not that it ever worked. Besides, tonight was the opening of a new club, you both might as well give everyone something to look at - right?

—𓆩[six months]𓆪—   𓆩♡𓆪 SEVENTEENTH SPOT — SUGAR MOMMY        ♡ Spencer Reid            ❦ Spencer truly didn’t know he was a sugar baby until Derek told him. At first, he just thought your love language was gift giving, but then Derek made an extremely good point, and that made him think. Was he just a sugar baby to you, or was it something more, like he wanted it to be?

—𓆩[full moon cove]𓆪—   𓆩♡𓆪 EIGHTEENTH SPOT — FANTASY AU        ♡ Finnick Odair            ❦ Finnick always loved the water. It was his only escape from the life of the Crown Prince who just took over the Kingdom of Panem after the death of the previous ruler, Snow. The cove he went to was different, though, and it always felt like someone was watching him. He certainly didn’t expect it to be true, much less from a beautiful woman like you.

—𓆩[you missed a spot]𓆪—   𓆩♡𓆪 NINETEENTH SPOT — MAID        ♡ TASM! Peter Parker            ❦ As soon as Peter graduated college with his degree, he was gone. No one appreciated him enough, so he was going to show them — all of them. After making billions with everything he made and keeping his alter ego a secret, the only thing he’s missing is someone to share his life with, but you quickly fill that whenever you come in applying for his maid job.

—𓆩[your majesty]𓆪—   𓆩♡𓆪 TWENTIETH SPOT — BIMBO        ♡ Eggsy Unwin            ❦ Eggsy truly didn’t know how you were recruited into Kingsmen, but he wasn’t complaining. You helped him out a lot during training, but for fucks sake, were you blind to how Charlie and his friends looked at you? When you go missing, though, Eggsy has to save you. He couldn’t live with himself if he didn’t.

—𓆩[i love cherries]𓆪—   𓆩♡𓆪 TWENTY-FIRST SPOT — GLORY HOLE        ♡ College AU! Frat Boy! Dave Lizewski            ❦ Dave wasn’t sure how he got into a fraternity, especially not one of the biggest at the university, but he went along with it. What he wasn’t prepared for was initiation, where everyone found out he was a virgin and were determined to make his first time something special.

—𓆩[mi menté, cuerpo, corazón, y alma]𓆪—   𓆩♡𓆪 TWENTY-SECOND SPOT — SUGAR DADDY        ♡ Modern AU! CEO! Sugar Daddy! Soft! Miguel O'Hara x Sugar Baby! Fem! Reader            ❦ You loved being a sugar baby. Truly, you did. The only con was the fact that you had to get with someone who was literally a hair away from dying, so when Miguel found you, it was truly a saving grace. After a while, he made you cut off all of your other sugar daddies, easily matching what they give you and more. Things have gotten weird lately, though… and you’re not sure how to take it, even when he says everything is ‘strictly pleasure’.

—𓆩[surprise getaway]𓆪—   𓆩♡𓆪 TWENTY-THIRD SPOT — FREE USE (HIGH SCHOOL SWEETHEARTS)        ♡ Ethan Landry x Fem! High School Sweetheart! Reader            ❦ Ethan loved you more than you could ever know, but the problem was he was trying to get himself to understand he could choose you over his family - someone who could give him a life of happiness and not murder. So when you surprise him with a trip to your cabin normally used for trips in the winter before you both go off to college, he finds out he could live a life with you he initially didn’t think was possible. And maybe, just maybe, he can get away from his family once and for all, and stay with you.

—𓆩[save a horse, ride a cowboy]𓆪—   𓆩♡𓆪 TWENTY-FOURTH SPOT — COWBOY        ♡ Ethan Landry x Fem! Crush! Reader            ❦ NON GHOSTFACE AU Ethan had been crushing on you since the first day of college. Now, three years in and finally getting the courage thanks to his best friend Chad, he dresses up for the Halloween party as something much more… suggestive. He truly didn’t expect you to show up in an exposed Halloween outfit dressed up as a classic horror character, ready to tease him all night long.

© asterias-record-shop

#asterias-record-shop #requests open #bingo #asterias record shop #asterias record shop bingo #shuffle play || asterias record shop #shuffle play #fanfic bingo

[edalynn]

hii hope you don't mind me asking but why do you hate huntlow?? (genuinely curious) I personaly love the owlhouse and kin hunter and it's one if my favorite ships :0

I was just going to not answer this ask as I feel like I've repeated the many reasons I hate hunt/low in the past, but I realize I've never put it all in one place. I'm going to start by linking some asks or posts of mine that are a smorgasbord of things I or others have pointed out regarding what's wrong with the ship itself for some reference points.

X | X | X | X | X | X | X | X | X | X | X | X | X | X | X

And I'll add my "Hunt/low Trope Bingo Card" that gives us a fun diagram of multiple problematic tropes that Hunt/low falls under

Let me start of with the ship itself. Hunt/low quite literally makes both characters' arcs irrelevant. Willow's entire arc about learning to be confident in herself, overcome her bullying, and be strong for herself and her friends is basically entirely erased when you put her with Hunter. Her whole arc is that for a lack of better words, she saved herself and is her own person. Yes, she had the help of Luz and Gus, and later Amity after they began mending their friendship, but her whole thing was being strong and confident on her own. In concept, giving Willow a pretty boy boyfriend immediately makes her arc less impactful than if she's never paired with anyone in the story, because her story is about her own self growth. Not being saved by having a conventionally attractive boyfriend. And in practice, we actually see it happen. Willow is dumbed down and made insanely out of character in almost the entirety of the third season, particularly in FtF. She's shown multiple times throughout the end of the season (Actually, in S2 as well) needing to be physically saved by Hunter specifically when she's always been shown she can stand up for herself before. And, yes, you could argue that "Willow doesn't always need to be the strong one!", and you'd be right! But the fact that the second she becomes friends with Hunter, the way her character is written changes dramatically. We see her need to be saved over and over, and it is literally only by Hunter. If this wasn't the case, I would agree with that, but unfortunately it's not. Her growth and "revolutionary" strong-on-her-own arc is entirely negated if she is put in a relationship with Hunter.

On the flipside, Hunter's arc is just as equally, if not more, irrelevant. Hunter's arc is also about finding himself and finding a group of people that are his pseudo-family. His growth is his journey to becoming his own person, away from his abusive parental figure. In concept, Hunt/low makes all of Hunter's trauma, abuse, and loss meaningless by falling into the trope of "romantic love heals all", which is both dangerous for young fans who will believe that and a slap in the face for every abuse victim that relate to Hunter. It's like saying that nothing bad he experienced mattered or had any lasting impact, because you give him a strong girlfriend and poof! All the problems go away and are solved! And I shouldn't have to explain why that message is insanely harmful. As with Willow, we see this happen in action as well. Any time there's a nod to Hunt/low in the show, Hunter's trauma immediately doesn't seem to matter. This is shown the clearest when he is literally not allowed to grieve Flapjack's death because it "upsets" Willow and he has to run after her to comfort- and later save- her. The writers actually made it so that Hunter is made to feel guilty for showing sadness about Flap because it made Willow feel like she "can't do anything right", making the entire scene about how he had to save her and put his grieving of Flapjack to the side. I think as an abuse victim, this is the one thing about Hunt/low that makes me the angriest. And to dip my toes into a later point- fan creators that ship Hunt/low also do this in their fanworks. Moringmark is a BIG perpetrator of the Hunter abuse denial rhetoric.

The way they are intended to be written, these two arcs contrast each other, not complement them. It makes no sense for them to be shipped. And further, the context & content we get in the actual show has a staggering lack of depth or intention. Every interaction they have feels out of character and as if their personalities have to be entirely re-worked for them to even interact- and those are just the miniscule amount of times they actually interact. There's almost no actual content for Hunt/low in the show, it's never acknowledged by other characters how they do with Lumity and Raeda, and they literally almost never interact in the show until FtF. There is no logical reason that anyone should assume they were even interested in each other (aside from Hunter's blink-and-you-miss-it blushes) and you could probably count on both hands how many times they actually interacted with each other on screen both before the Day of Unity, and until FtF. And I'd go as far as to say that when they do interact, they barely even act like friends. Willow spends almost the entirety of TtT ignoring Hunter (assumably unintentionally, but they almost never interact and the episode was literally based around Hunter as one of the main characters in it) aside from the hair cutting scene- which contextually made no sense to be done by Willow- and the after-possession scene- also made no sense contextually for him to have his head on Willow's lap. She literally makes fun of him at one point, with Amity being the one to basically say "guys that's mean, Hunter I don't want you to get made fun of by others please change". How does any of that read as a healthy or loving ship? Much less even a friendship. By the time they get to the Human Realm, Willow and Hunter have interacted, what, maybe three times? Once during ASIAS (Where Willow forgives him way faster than she should have for her character, when she literally took months to fully forgive Amity- and Ami didn't kidnap her), Once during LR (Where Willow literally is shown as not caring, liking, or trusting Hunter until he says something that proves he was with Gus), and then on the mission with Luz & co. to rescue Amity leading to the Day of Unity. The ship both in context & in practice completely obliterate not only both characters' arcs as stated above, but also wreck their personalities, making them every other generic girl and boy in a generic m/f ship.

Moving onto the fandom in relation to Hunt/low. Let me set the scene. This show, The Owl House, in and of itself is for a Queer audience. That doesn't mean cishet people cannot enjoy it, but it is a silent "stay in your lane". TOH was REVOLUTIONARY for Queer mainstream media with the main character being the first main character on an animated show by Disney to be openly Queer. Luz is openly bisexual and has a girlfriend! She comes out to her mom! Her adoptive mother, one of the other 3 main characters, ends up in a canon relationship with her Highschool Sweetheart, a nonbinary person, and is ALSO openly bisexual! So why is Hunt/low treated as if it is the "third main ship" on TOH, when it ISN'T EVEN CANON. Why is it treated as if it's on the same level as Lumity and Raeda!? Why are there fanartists and other creators that ONLY draw or write Hunt/low!? It's insulting honestly! And I, as a queer person, am being so dead serious. it's fucking insulting. And the way Hunt/low shippers treat people that don't ship it is disgusting. Their go-to defense tends to be "Crying Wolf", or claiming any kind of "-phobia" they can to make their ship seem "more valid". You have no idea the amount of times I and my mutuals have been called "biphobic" or "fatphobic" or any number of other insults. When more often than not, It's Hunt/low shippers that I see ignoring Hunter's bisexuality, or worse, disparaging people for shipping Hunter in a mlm relationship. Or worse- saying certain ships (Huntric/Goldric) are inc/estuous because of Aladarius, which also is not even canon (And neither is "Dadrius" while I'm at it, but that's a totally different argument for a different day.). I see them use his bisexuality as fodder constantly. And I won't even mention the mischaracterization by every single Hunt/low fan I've ever seen, making Willow anywhere from Girlboss to Tradwife or Mom Girlfriend, and Hunter from Malewife to Wet Cat to Protector Boyfriend.

The crew also did not help the situation at all. Multiple Storyboard artists or other crew members have openly admitted to attempting to (or succeeding to) force Hunt/low into the storyline, always at the scolding of Dana who would make them remove it or tone it down as it didn't fit her vision of the show. I've seen multiple crewmembers say this- it's not just a one off thing. Or the crew member who once said she didn't care that the ship name "Winter" (the crew's ship name for Hunt/low) made it hard to block/tag because she liked how it sounded. It's just. I've seen so many instances of Dana's crew being that disrespectful to her and attempting to push their own personal feelings and ideas into the show against her wishes.

I could probably go on forever, so I'll stop here. But yeah. That's the basics of why Hunt/low is a shitty, harmful ship.

#taako talks #asks #anons #the owl house #toh #huntl0w negative #toh hunter #hunter toh #hunter noceda #hunter wittebane #hunter clawthorne #willow park #toh willow #long post

[jae-bummer]

Just for Tonight

Request: 5 + hyunjin pls :3 and ty ! :3

Prompt:

5) “Let me call you mine, just for tonight.”

Pairing: Stray Kids Hyunjin x Reader

Genre: Angst

(**warning: language and steamy situations)

.

Having visitors early in the AM was not a common standard for you.

That is, unless it was Hyunjin.

Casually dating an idol was not on your bingo card for the year, but here you were, yanking open the front door of your apartment to usher in a man you never would have thought could acknowledge your existence.

It wasn't that you weren't worthy of dating someone who was a celebrity, it was that you assumed this particular one was much too expensive for you. Now, when talking about "expense," you weren't meaning that he spent large amounts of money. You were meaning that he looked expensive. His features, his movements, his aura. Everything about that man was extraterrestrial in the most enticing way (emphasis on the "extra"). He was walking art. No one should approach him in any capacity because no one was worth his time.

But then there was you.

He had admitted before that you brought a sense of normalcy to his world. The safety of your normal, little apartment. The stories where you talked about your normal job and your normal schedule. He craved these bits of your life, if only to live vicariously through them.

When he showed up on your doorstep, he looked like he could almost be normal too. With a hat pulled low over his eyes, baggy clothes to distort his frame, and a dark mask covering his mouth, he could be any person visiting their partner.

Only the two of you knew his secret...for now.

That's what he was here to talk about.

"What did the company decide?" you blurted before he even crossed the doorstep.

He didn't look up from his phone as he came inside, popping off his shoes as soon as he got past the entryway. Closing the door behind him, he leaned against the cold metal. "Is this really how you want to start?"

"If you don't tell me now, it's going to be all I think about," you said quietly.

It had been two days since an article was posted online about Hyunjin's dating life. Apparently, sources had leaked that he was dating a non-celebrity and had been for months now. They even had distorted security footage of the two of you leaving a 7/11 in the dead of night.

As soon as the news broke, Hyunjin was brought in for a meeting with his managers where he felt compelled to confess everything. It was then up to their PR team on how they wanted to deal with the situation. It didn't really matter what he wanted, and definitely not what you wanted.

If you could, you would keep Hyunjin tucked away from the world for as long as you could. It was selfish, but this was your worst fear. You didn't want the fate of your relationship to be in everyone's hands but your own.

Turning your back towards him, you muttered. "Quickly, please."

Hyunjin took a deep breath before starting, speaking as if he was reading a memorized script. "The company decided that it would be best to dispel any dating rumors. At this time in my career, it would be foolish to throw away what I've worked so hard for. Fans will not welcome the idea of me seeing someone, especially a non-celebrity. I'll be a weakness for the team, and I can't in good conscience let that happen."

You turned toward him, horrified. He looked back, a sad smile on his face and helplessness in his eyes. "They've asked that I stop meeting with you for the foreseeable future."

It felt like your chest was going to crack in two. Admittedly, you had both decided that you wouldn't put a label on what you had. You weren't dating seriously or exclusively, but it was unsaid. You had a bond and a love for each other that only grew more intense as the days went on. It seemed like a safety protocol to keep it casual, but in the end, it hurt no matter what you wanted to call yourselves.

"Fuck," you whispered, plopping on the couch. You weren't sure where to look, but it certainly wasn't at Hyunjin.

Biting his lip, Hyunjin nodded slowly. "Fuck."

"We should've been more careful," you croaked, on the brink of tears. "We should've ordered in and -"

"Y/N," Hyunjin sighed. Tilting his head, he smiled sadly again. "That's no way to live."

"It is when it's protecting you!" you squeaked. Dropping your face into your hands, you tried to focus on your breathing.

"You shouldn't have to protect me," you heard him say quietly. Crossing the room, he sat on the couch beside you and leaned his head on your shoulder. "I should be the one protecting you...and in a weird way, I guess that's what I'm doing."

"Oh yeah," you scoffed, popping your head up. "Breaking up will do such great things for me."

"Hey," he chuckled softly, sitting up so he could wipe at the tears sliding down your cheeks. "I really don't want fans to start meddling in your life too."

And that was a valid point. If you continued to date, how long would it take for internet sleuths to figure out your identity? And from there, how long would it be until an attack was launched your way? Your job, your relationships, your social life. Everything could come crashing down if your information got into the wrong hands.

You knew he was right, and you hated it.

"I'm sorry I dragged you into my mess in the first place," he said quietly. "It wasn't fair to you."

"Stop," you groaned. "I don't want an apology."

Hyunjin nodded, remaining quiet. You knew he was just as much at a loss for words as you were. However long your relationship was, it was one of the brightest moments in your life, and you never wanted to take that away.

"Normally when I'm dumped," you continued. "At least I get to be angry at the person who's breaking up with me. This time, I have to be mad at a whole corporation."

Hyunjin snorted lightly. "You can be mad at me if it makes you feel better."

"You're the last person I want to be mad at," you sighed. Looking toward him, you tried not to start crying again. "So this is it?"

"Probably for a while," he whispered. "Is it...is it okay if I still text you? From time to time?"

"I would be disappointed if you didn't," you smiled.

Pulling yourself to your feet, you tugged Hyungjin along with you. "Well, I guess we should rip the band aid off then."

Sliding your arms around his waist, you nuzzled your face into his chest. Without hesitation, he wrapped his own around your shoulders, encasing you in all that was Hyunjin.

"I'm going to miss this," he whispered into your hair. "I'm going to miss you."

"I'm going to miss you more," you croaked, leaning back to look him in the eyes. "It'll be okay."

He nodded, but you could see tears start to gather at his waterline. "Y/N?"

"Hm?"

"I know...I know you said you wanted to rip off the band aid," he started slowly. "And I assume that meant that I should leave quickly because it would hurt less...but..."

"But?"

"Can I be selfish?" he whispered.

Furrowing your brows, you looked up at him again. "What do you mean?"

“Let me call you mine," he breathed. "Just for tonight?”

It was suddenly very difficult to breath. Having one last night together would definitely break your heart even more, but it was tempting. One last taste of the man you never thought would be yours.

The last time he'd be tangled in your sheets. The last time you'd smell his cologne on your pillowcase. The last time you'd hear him tinkering in the kitchen, getting coffee ready for the two of you in the morning.

You had taken so much for granted before, not even realizing that it could all come to a grinding halt. At least if you had one more night, you could truly treasure those moments and commit them to memory forever.

It may make the pain even worse, but you didn't care. You were selfish too.

"It's going to suck so bad," you murmured. "But I guess it already does."

"I don't want to make things more complicated," he said quickly, but you immediately shook your head.

"Hyunjin," you said, your voice much more fragile than you wanted. "Please stay."

The response was immediate. Hyunjin's hands grabbed at the fabric of your sweater, balling it inside of his fists as he held your waist. Lips crashing into yours, and bodies swaying from the impact, you struggled down the hall to your bedroom, making sure no part of your anatomy broke contact.

It took only moments for the back of your knees to hit the edge of the bed and send you sprawling. Hyunjin climbed over you, familiar with the scene being played before him. There would be time later to go slowly and luxuriate in each other's attention. Right now was for fulfilling a need and a want so deep that it made you act on instinct alone.

He began kissing down your jaw and to your neck, causing small whimpers to escape your lips. The sounds only encouraged him, turning his gentle motions into ones involving teeth and tongue. As his mouth searched for your shoulders, he grew impatient with your sweater and started to yank it up and over your head. It wasn't long before he insisted that he wanted your skin against his, so he paused only to dispose his own clothing before carefully sliding your pants from your legs.

Kneeling atop the mattress, he looked down at you with reverence. His brow furrowed for a moment as he bit his lip and took you in. Reaching up, you tugged him closer before smoothing out the small line between his eyebrows. "You're not allowed to look conflicted. Not tonight."

"I wasn't conflicted," he said hoarsely. "You're just so beautiful that it hurts."

Your breathing hitched as he looked into your eyes. He wanted you to know that he was being sincere, and this was all as painful for him as it was for you.

Head bowing again, he caught your lips for a softer kiss this time. Using one hand for leverage, he used the other to cradle your cheek. The moment was so tender, you were certain you would just split apart when it was over. Breaking the kiss, he gave you another heavy look before moving his motions down your chest and stomach, only stopping to use his tongue when it suited him. Your small noises and gasps were his driving factor, so if he wasn't getting enough, he would work until his name fell constantly from your lips.

Settling himself between your legs, he glanced up at you with half lidded eyes. "Being away from this is going to be torture."

Reaching down, you pushed his hair behind his ears and gave a lazy smile. Your fingers quickly found their way to the strands at the top of his head, brushing through them once before grabbing hold. "Then make sure you give me something to remember."

.

#hwang hyunjin #hyunjin #stray kids #skz #stray kids hyunjin #hyunjin skz #hyunjin angst #hyunjin fanfic #hyunjin x reader #stray kids angst #skz angst #skz fanfic #stray kids x reader #skz x reader #stray kids scenarios #stray kids fanfic

[cherrymf15]

My thought on Thunderhead which fucked me up, and I would like a lawyer to sue

There will be a ton of spoilers so don't read if you wanna avoid them!

the world building was again just incredible

just scratches something in my brain

My edgey boi Rowan be murdering scythes and I'm so proud

Just straight up abandoned his dad (Faraday) to do it

He is also still a massive simp and we love him for it

Citra really risking everything just to see him for 5 mins though please, also a massive fucking simp

Faraday really showed up and instantly was not like "im not mad just dissapointed" over Rowan MURDERING PEOPLE. I love them please

The thunderhead sections were fucking great and it was nice to see the thoughts of the AI that has to put up with our shit

Greyson is baby

Tyger is DUMB bitch (affectionate)

Curie is Citra's Mum and we love that

the thunderhead really did say fuck you greyson concerning what happened

Also Greyson sweetie we shouldn't be falling for people who have no issuing killing people regardless of how alluring and fascinating they are

CITRA WAS SO FUCKING MAD THAT GREYSON WASNT ROWAN

I FUCKING CACKLED LIKE GIRL THE FUCK

the increased level of the tonists in the book was also really fasicinating and stuff, not by much but im excited to see more in the 3rd book as well

Rand falling in love with TYGER OF ALL PEOPLE(?) was not on my bingo card for this series but I'll take it

Then proceeds to murder him anyway. You DUMB FUCK

Goddard as always can suck my non existent dick and choke on it

the way he came back was horrifying

i literally felt sick

it was so cool

grandslayers were fucking epic

and gone too soon

Citra and Rowan are obsessed with each other

and you can pry that point from my cold dead fucking hands

THE THUNDERHEAD SCREAMING IN ITS OWN WAY AFTER WHAT HAPPENED WAS NOT FINE MY GOOD SIR FUCK YOU

also Thunderhead really just said "FUCK HUMANITY apart from Greyson as he is my son and I love him more"

maries sacrificing herself and saving them both despite her thoughts of rowan was pain

Faraday not knowing marie is dead

fuck

Rowan saying citra looked like a godess as THEY WERE ABOUT TO DIE

LIKE

SIR THERE IS A TIME AND PLACE AND IT IS NOT THE NOW

and then just abandoning us with my children at the BOTTOM OF THE FUCKING OCEAN

MARIE DEAD

GRANDSALYERS DEAD

FARADAY NOT KNOWING SHIT CAUSE HES OFF TRYING TO SAVE THE WORLD

fuck you neal my not so good sir

In conclusion, a cliffhanger has not fucked me up this hard since Mark of Athena (fuck you uncle Rick), and I would like to simultaneously sue and pick this man's brain to see where he can find the fucking audacity to do this to us

also theres definetley more but ive already read the toll and im trying not to mix events in my brain so yeah

#citra terranova #rowan x citra #rowan damisch #rowan #citra #scythe anastasia #scythe faraday #scythe #scythe curie #scythe rand #tyger #arc of a scythe #neal shusterman #books #greyson tolliver #greyson #book review #booksbooksbooks #bookworm #i would like to fight #how dare you #why would you do that

[azsazz]

CC3 Cliffnotes by Azsazz

Alrighty, for those of you who don't want to bother reading CC3 (I don't blame you) I will be putting important info/passages/my bingo card/probably unsolicited comments/etc in this DOC. (I'll also put it next to my CC Masterlist linked at the top of my page!)

Wish me luck, I'll see you all on the other side 🫡 (srsly tho why is it 828 pages ☠️)

#crescent city 3 #cc3 notes by azsazz

[the---hermit]

16|11|2023

Today was mainly dedicated to working on recorded lectures of my men theories and power practices class. I fortunately am close to the end, I think in a couple of weeks I'll be finally be all done. Today I also got part of the books I will need to read for the philosophy class I started this week and it's surely going to be something. To get the idea out Sade is part of the program and even though I knew what to expect flipping through the book I was not impressed to say the least. Surely after the lectures I'll have enough context to understand the philosophical background, but reading very nsfw stuff for uni was not on my bingo card this year. Also for some stupid reason the fact that it's stuff published in the late 1700s makes it even weirder, which is definitely to show how fucked up our view of the past generally is. I'll surely have weird updates in the upcoming months because the reading list for the class is unhinged.

cozy hobbit autumn activities and productivity:

read first thing in the morning

watched and annotated a whole recorded lecture of my men theories and power practices class and also worked on over a half of another lecture I'll be finishing tomorrow

started to create a very detailed to do list of the matierials I have to study for the various exams I am working on (it will take a couple of days at least to put together the whole thing, but have a clear overview of everything makes me feel much more in control of what I am doing)

crocheted a bit and continued my tma re-listening (I am all done with season two!)

wrote a couple of book reviews I'll be editing and posting as soon as I can

daily Irish practice on duolingo

today's self care:

I did go back to my 6.20ish morning routine and half an hour of additional sleep was great because I have been quite tired lately

took my meds and took as many breaks as I needed while studying in order to stay focused and productive

started working on my master to do list for the classes I am studying for

📖: Odyssey by Homer

#studyblr #studyinspo #uniblr #university #student #student life #journal #journaling #studying #notebook #productivity #self care #cozy hobbit autumn #mine #the---hermit