#i've already told all my family that i'm doing this so i can't chicken out. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sarnai4 · 1 month

Text

Opening Up

About opening up...Dagur kinda doesn't. (Spoilers ahead)

This is something I've seen some fans talk about where they say Dagur would reveal personal information easily. I see where they're coming from with this. Looking at Dagur, I'd expect that too. He's outspoken, emotional, unrestrained, etc. He seems like someone who could randomly say, "I had a good cry today," and it wouldn't be anything surprising. HOWEVER, that changes for me when I look at the proof from the show. If Dagur was half as open about things as this would imply, then we wouldn't be forced to speculate so much about his past and the things that have happened to him. In another case of me spending too much time studying Dragons (probably. Still worth it), I tried to collect all the examples of Dagur sharing information. They have something in common. Each time, there's a specific reason. I'll go in chronological order.

In "Enemy of My Enemy," Dagur tells Hiccup how revenge can make you do things you didn't think you were capable. This was an interesting moment of really getting to see how the villain we saw Dagur be wasn't who he always was. It even shocked him how extreme his actions became. This has the potential to be some heavy stuff, but he didn't just outright say it for fun. He said it because he saw Hiccup going down that same path. This isn't, "I can't believe the things I've done and really need someone to talk to." It's, "I see you following in my footsteps and they led me in a terrible direction. I don't want that for you."

It takes Dagur F.O.R.E.V.E.R. to admit he didn't kill Oswald. Even as a good guy, he doesn't say it easily. In "Family on the Edge," he implies that something Heather said out of the sent her adrift, killed their dad, and tried to kill them list wasn't true, but he doesn't just say it. He writes it in the letter, admitting that and how he was worried that the other Berserkers wouldn't follow him otherwise. If he wanted to do it for emotional release reasons, he could've just said the first time or even told her way back when he thought they were on the same side. Rather than that, he puts it in a letter so that her final relative won't be quite as bad as she thinks he is.

In "Searching for Oswald...And Chicken," Dagur has two moments. First, he tells Heather how he's spent most of his life in varying stages of existential crisis. (Just wow for that. Wish we had heard more about it because that is quite the emotional load he nonchalantly dropped) Again, this clearly isn't to get something off his chest because it's not even something he brings up again. He just tells her so that she'll have proof he knows what is meaningless, hopefully getting her to stop throwing herself in harm's way to find Oswald. Later, he tells Hiccup he keeps anger, frustration, and rage to himself. This also isn't to share so much as to prove he can keep secrets and deserves to be trusted with the location of Vanaheim.

Then, we have "In Plain Sight." There, we find out he used to get bullied. He waited until as much of the last moment as possible to tell Fishlegs and Snotlout this. They had already flown from the Edge to Berserker Island and were literally walking down to meet Ansson. So, I don't think it's him wanting to share sensitive information. It's him knowing they're about to be there with the bully and since Ansson doesn't care about playing nice, it's going to be obvious that he used to bully him. This is just softening the blow a little by telling them first. Didn't really help, though, since they still laughed at him being called "Dainty." (Not cool even though I get how weird it would be to hear someone call him that)

Unless I'm mistaken, that's everything. I don't think there's another time when Dagur reveals something personal. Each of these had some deeper purpose. This is why I don't believe Dagur would start speaking about his past traumas without a prompt. Now, I'll say I do enjoy having him talk about this in stories and I support other writers who do. I just believe it takes a little nudge. He's not going to sit down next to someone and talk about his time in jail. He has literally never spoken about his time in jail in the entire show except the first RTTE episode to say that he spent 3 years thinking about Hiccup. So, it actually leaves a lot of room to be creative with what his past even has first, then what situation would get him to spill the beans.

#HTTYD #RTTE #Dagur the Deranged #Past #Trauma #I think most can agree he has PTSD #We just don't know the specifics of why and I want to know #Heck we still don't know why he sent Heather adrift #I need answers😭#He's winking because he knows his lips are sealed forever

71 notes · View notes

friendsdontlieokay · 7 months

Text

Mike has been acting very weird lately, like how he used to react to El being missing. He snaps at the tiniest things, gets irritated about simple stuff, stays rude and upset most of the time... he's just different and not like himself anymore.

At first, it seemed like it was probably because of the combination of puberty and the bleeding of hell into Hawkins altogether, but maybe there's something more to it, like he wants to disguise himself or is hiding away from something...from himself.

But as always, everyone is too upset and dazzled up with their own lives to pay attention or talk out with the boy, and Mike doesn't mind actually, it's always been this way and it's honestly better if no one gets to see through the mask he's wearing.

Until a fair evening when the family starts to have an early dinner and Ted starts to bicker about how he's going poor and poor in his studies and everything regarding life as each day goes by.

Ted being Ted, keeps saying the most nerve hitting comments one by one, like how Mike's so young and already on the path to failure, how he has no good future ahead of him or how he should be more like Nancy, in a calm manner whilst feasting on his chicken, of course.

But unlike all the other times, Mike genuinely snaps and throws his plate out of the table, breaking it, and everyone gets off guard by the sudden incident.

"YES! I'M A FAILURE, I ALWAYS HAVE BEEN, BUT IT'S NOT MY FAULT, I DIDN'T ASK YOU GUYS TO BRING ME IN THIS WORLD, YOU DID! AND NOW YOU'RE BICKERING CAUSE YOU CANNOT KEEP MANIPULATING YOUR "LITTLE BOY" TO OBEY YOU ANYMORE! I CAN'T DO THAT SO DON'T EVEN EXPECT ME TO!" and with that being said he storms out to his room.

Nancy, who's growing more and more astonished by her brother's behaviour, follows him with a rush and enters the room before he gets the chance to lock it.

"Mike, what the hell was that?"

"What the hell was what?"

"What is going on with you?"

"What do you mean by what is going on with me?"

"Mike what the hell just happened in the dining room? You just broke your f**king plate!" She snapped.

"Oh so now you're here to punish me because I broke mom's favourite plate? Fine I'll pay for it!" There he goes again, he's not the same kid anymore who would spend hours in the basement playing DND, or the naive yet smart kid Nancy once knew.

"Mike seriously what is wrong with you!?"

"EVERYTHING NANCY, EVERYTHING IS WRONG WITH ME! NOTHING IS RIGHT ABOUT ME! THAT'S WHAT YOU WANTED TO KNOW RIGHT? I'VE ADMITTED IT! SO NOW JUST GO TO YOUR ROOM AND TALK WITH JONATHAN OR STEVE OR WHATEVER! JUST LEAVE!"

"MIKE! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON WITH YOU, SERIOUSLY! YOU'VE BEEN ACTING SO WEIRD THESE DAYS, WHAT'S GOING ON!?"

"Weird.." suddenly he's stressfully calm. "I told you already everything is wrong, dad was right, I'm a f**king failure, that's what's wrong with me".

Nancy's already drawn back by the confession "Mike.." she goes nearer and places a hand on his shoulder "you can talk to me you know".

He throws her hand away "talk to you!? You're the golden child Nancy, you would never understand!" He snaps again.

"Mike-" "No! Don't Mike me right now! You'll never understand, no one ever will, I don't deserve to be here, to exist, I don't belong anywhere, I'm an outcast, a monster!" it looks like he's trying to hold back his tears.

But instead of being sympathetic, Nancy's voice is stern "MIKE! NONE OF THAT IS TRUE, YOU KNOW THAT! YOU'RE NOT A MONSTER!" And when Mike dared to look back at her eyes, he realised that she's been trying to hold back her tears too. She feels so ashamed of herself, for letting Mike lock himself out, far away from the world, from the people he cares about and the people that care about him, for him to be so alone, so scared, to think he doesn't belong, to shrink in pain every passing second, but she has come here to fix it and she will

Nancy sits on the bed and makes him sit right beside her too. "Mike..what happened?" "Nothing" he replies, but she isn't letting go this time "Mike. What. Happened?" There's determination in her voice and Mike's not sure if he can escape it, but he tries, tries to lock himself in once more.

"I don't know, it doesn't matter". He lies. "YOU DON'T KNOW? IT DOESN'T MATTER, MIKE? WELL IT MATTERS TO ME! MY LITTLE BROTHER'S SAYING HE FEELS LIKE AN OUTCAST, A MONSTER, LIKE..LIKE HE DOESN'T BELONG AND YOU'RE SAYING IT DOESN'T MATTER?" she snaps again, and Mike spots a tear trickling down from one of her eyes.

He feels bad for not telling her the truth, but he can't, as much as he hates to admit it, he knows that Nancy's going to hate him if she gets to know WHO he is, or WHAT he's like, and he doesn't want his sister to hate him.

"You wouldn't understand"

"Then try to make me"

"You won't understand Nancy! There is something so wrong with me, I am broken! I've tried to fix myself, I've tried to fit in but I can't! I don't know how to!"

"Mike-"

"And if I tell you, you are going to hate me too, I just know that"

"MIKE!"

He jolts by her tone and looks up to her just to see that tears are spilling out of her eyes with seemingly no end, and for a slight moment Mike wants to comfort her but that would be totally out of context.

"DON'T EVER SAY THAT AGAIN! DON'T YOU EVER EVEN DARE TO THINK THAT! I AM NEVER GOING TO HATE YOU! NEVER EVER! YOU'RE NOT A MONSTER BUT EVEN IF YOU WERE ONE, I WOULDN'T HATE YOU!"

For a millisecond, Mike thinks she'll understand but then again he's too afraid to risk it, he knows that if he tells her, she's simply gonna walk away and never talk to him again, maybe she wouldn't tell their parents, but it would still be horrifying to see her every day and get reminded of how the ice between them almost finally broke but he destroyed it because he's so damn disgusting. But he knows Nancy, and he knows that she's not gonna leave him alone, so he decides to spill it before he starts understanding how much his sister genuinely cares for him and loves him, in more depth. Like ripping off a bandaid.

His heart is almost bursting out of his chest and he's on the verge of a panic attack, still he's ready to go and make Nancy hate him.

"You don't understand Nancy I'm gay! I'm a f***king faggot" he's crying now, there's no reverse button in life, he has already doomed everything.

"SO!? I KNOW IT MIKE IT DOESN'T CHANGE ANYTHING! DID YOU REALLY THINK I'M GONNA HATE YOU FOR THIS? YOU'RE MY LITTLE BABY BROTHER, MIKE, AND YOU THOUGHT I WOULD HATE YOU FOR BEING GAY!?" He looks up to her and he internally breaks, not like he's damaged-broken, but he's sad-broken, because Nancy's not only spiling tears right now, but she's wholeheartedly crying, gasping-crying.

He's also crying just like her and he's so glad and surprised and relieved it's like a 404 error, he doesn't know what to do, he doesn't know what to say but he knows he needs to say something, cause Nancy's crying and he feels like a bad guy for thinking she would hate him.

"Nancy I-" before he even gets the chance to finish, Nancy pulls him into a hug and even though she's practically crushing him by hugging him so tight, he doesn't mind at all, in fact he feels like he's finally able to breathe after ages so he just leans into her hugging her tighter and sobbing hard recklessly.

"Mike, I'm so sorry that you had to feel like you couldn't talk to me, to leave you alone in this bullshit hell hole to suffer all alone, to make you feel like a monster for never checking up on you and for always being so indulged in my own life that I barely come to know about what's happening in your life, for-for being such a selfish person, I know I don't even deserve to be your sister, you're such a good kid and kind hearted person Mike. Gosh, you're a paladin, a literal paladin, you're the heart of the party who cares about his loved ones so so much, who would do anything to protect the people he loves. And Mike, I know it's usually always the other way around, and I'm sorry that I couldn't give you a chance to say that but I truly look up to you, and I am so so so proud of you, bub, and honestly it feels so weird to call you my little brother cause you're so tall and big but it feels like you were a kid just yesterday, learning ABC's from that little phonics book you had, and it's hard to believe that it has been so long gone, I just wish I could've kept you little for just a little while longer, I wish I could play barbies with you for a little bit more time, I wish I talked to you and hugged you even more, I wish I hadn't turned away from you, I'm so sorry Mike for growing apart and distant, and I can't even blame it on my age, that is totally on me, and even if you don't or can't forgive me I just want you to know that I'm really very sorry. You're so grown now, you've literally been through hell and back, and still doing so that it's almost hard to believe that you're still that tiny marshmallow that couldn't pronounce my name and used to call me Nanny, but still deep inside I know that you are still him, you're still my baby brother and Mike, I know I don't say it as much as I should, and right now you might have a hard time believing me but I love you so much, I really really do." To be honest, Mike didn't know that, maybe when they were children he did know that, but they've gone through such huge metamorphosis in their own lives, he doesn't know it anymore, but he believes her, he truly entirely does, but he's sobbing so bad right now, he is in no state to speak so he only clutches to her tighter, sobbing even harder.

Mike is so overwhelmed by everything, how everything's going okay, and maybe even more than okay, by how everything's fixing, all this time, he felt like a mistake and right now someone's telling him he's not a mistake, that he's valued and that somebody looks up to HIM, and it's not just someone, it's Nancy, the golden child in his family, the best student in his school, an aspiring journalist, a badass who can almost win any battle, who kicked off Vecna's ass. Nancy Wheeler is saying she looks up to him and is proud of him, that really is such a big achievement on its own, but then again at this moment he knows that Nancy is no one apart from just his big sister, his superhero sister, his first best friend, his sister, his Nance, his Nanny.

But as much as he loves everything, he absolutely hates the way Nancy looks at herself, or how she thinks she's worthless because that's a lie, she's amazing everybody knows that, and he would never ever admit it yet he feels disgusted by the thought of Nancy thinking she couldn't give him a reason to look up to her, cause he's been looking up to her since God knows when. But for a fact, he knows she's not lying or making that part up to show him his better sides because that's exactly the way he feels about himself too, he just knows that they need to be there for each other and be each other's mirrors to show them their real true and wonderful selves.

"Mike I would never hate you, I could never do that even if I wanted to, and I would never want to. We're gonna fix everything that's hurting you okay? We're gonna fix it together I promise, and this time I promise to keep the promise, it's a promise."

Mike's already relieved and glad that she doesn't hate him for being gay, but one thing he's also super grateful for is how it's Nancy he's confiding too, or who has practically forced him to confide into them but be doesn't mind anymore, instead he feels like he's at peace and a huge burden has been removed from his chest, not only the burden of coming out, but the burden that had captivated him to reach out and talk to his sister, from hugging her because of the unsettled awkwardness that was reserved between them for a while, a long long while. He subconsciously envied Jonathan and Will or Lucas and Erica's relationship and bonding, but the same old awkwardness stopped him from achieving the same bond which he had with Nance before the world turned to massacre, or more like before she went to highschool, but right now her warmth was enough to calm him down and making up for all those lost time, he finally feels like he's home after a long long long period of time, he feels safe.

They sit their hugging and crying for what feels like ages until Nancy speaks again and they slowly start to pull away from each other "And just so you know, if anyone says anything, there's a reason why I've got a Russian mackarov in my room". He chuckles at that and pulls away finally.

"How did you know?"

"Know what? About you being gay?"

"...yea"

"Mike come on, I am your sister"

He raises an eyebrow

"What? You don't believe I'm your sister?" She lets out a dry chuckle.

He sighs in annoyance.

"Fine. I might or might not have read your unsent letter to Will"

"Hey! That's an invasion of personal space! That's a crime!"

"Ha! Says the one who used to steal from my piggy bank on a daily basis"

"Dude! That's not the same!"

"Dude that's not the same~" she mocks

He stares again in disbelief, though he doesn't hate it as much as he should considering everything .

"Now go grab me a glass of water, I'm thirsty from all the tears I just shred!"

"What!?"

"What what? Go bring me some water, I'm thirsty" She shoo shoos with her hand to try to drive him away but he doesn't budge.

She sighs in disappointment and ruffles his hair vigorously "Come on little big guy, get me a glass of water, go!"

He keeps his eyebrows knitted together but heads towards the door anyway.

"Hey umm Nance?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm sorry. I-I mean thank you, and...I love you too"

She smiles and audibly whispers "doofus"

He goes outside the room but pokes his head almost instantly.

"Um also, if money's missing again from your piggy bank, hehe"

Her eyes widen and she throws out a pillow at him.

"Ow!"

"Michael Jeremy Wheeler, I hate you so much!" and with that being said, she starts chasing him because no matter how much she loves him, she will never be able to not hate him cause that's what siblings are.

#Mike wheeler #mike and nancy #Nancy wheeler #nancy and mike #wheeler siblings #mike Wheeler angst #gay mike wheeler #byler #not really #intended audience #i wrote this instead of sleeping #i wrote this instead of studying #siblings #stranger things #fanfiction #angst #hurt/comfort #one shot

28 notes · View notes

catrasredemption-moved · 1 year

Text

Fanfic Etiquette Sunday

Oh man okay, let's rock and roll y'all.

So my friend got... well, this ask, and answered it honestly.

tl;dr the question: Just say you don't want unsolicited criticism, you're asking for it if you post in a public forum tl;dr the answer: lol that's not how this works tl;dr the replies: Your viewpoint is toxic and you need a thicker skin and to grow up and just accept it, you're driving readers away

Okay. Okay. Let's start with

"just say you don't want unsolicited criticism, you're asking for it if you post in an open forum"-

No, posting in an open forum does not automatically mean I want criticism. This isn't a Creative Writing class, it's the Internet, where we share things with each other because we want to, not because we have to. Do you also criticize every meme? Every cute animal pictures? Do I need to start putting a disclaimer on my shitposts that I don't want feedback on whether or not they're cracky enough?

Fanfiction. Is. A. Hobby. People aren't out here sharing their work for free just to hear about all the ways you don't like it. If I think something I've written needs criticism, I'm going to ask the people close to me, who I trust to be honest with their opinions, how I can fix it. I am not going to trust randomusername69420 who thinks I've written the entire story wrong and presents their own version of it and says I should write that instead. And yes, I've gotten that before. I've had readers "challenge" me to write something I have no interest in. News flash, y'all aren't my writing teachers. I'm here to write, not to be graded on my work.

If you're someone who likes unsolicited crit? Cool, go crazy, you do you, boo. But I promise there are more creators out there who don't want it than those who do. Especially first time writers who are still trying to find their style. It's demoralizing. Which leads into the next point:

"You need a thicker skin"

I personally am made of stone. I actively participated in the Tumblr Superwholock saga. I've been to k**l myself for daring to enjoy something someone else doesn't. There's (almost) nothing you can say that would actively piss me off or offend me.

However. Being made of stone doesn't mean I can't recognize and acknowledge when someone is being rude. And you know what? It's valid for people to be upset when they work hard on something only to hear: "Well, here are eight things you could have done better."

I've been told before that I've "missed opportunities" in my stories. To me, that's vaguely annoying at best. I wrote the story I wanted to write. There's no such thing as "missed opportunities" - that's an idea you can take and write it.

But a new writer hearing something like that? It could be absolutely devastating. Here are they are trying to share something the world, only to be told they could have done it better. That can absolutely kill creativity. Which leads into the next point...

you're driving readers away

And you're driving writers away. I know people who just straight up abandoned their stories because of unsolicited criticism. They don't want it, they didn't need it, and they shouldn't have to say "Hey maybe don't crap all over this thing I've spent days or weeks working on."

Imagine if you spent all day cooking a big family meal, and when everyone tried it all they said was, "Well the chicken was dry, the potatoes weren't mashed enough, the green beans were kind of limp and soggy." Did you ask for that criticism by presenting your meal to an open forum (the family table)? Should you have said, "Hey maybe be nice and don't insult every little thing you see wrong with this"? You're not a professional chef, you already know that, and so does your family. Are you going to cook for them again knowing that's their attitude toward you? Personally, I wouldn't. They can make their own damn meals if they're so good at it. I'll just keep cooking for me.

And finally...

"Your viewpoint is toxic."

No, it's setting boundaries. It's saying, "I put a lot of energy into this thing I've written (or maybe I wrote it in five minutes, who knows), and I kind of just want people to be nice to me because validation is cool." And validation is cool! Everybody needs it. Everybody thrives on it. There's nothing wrong with that. Imagine going through your entire life without anyone ever saying one good thing about you, just pointing out all the things you did wrong. Your chicken is too dry, your parallel parking is a bit crooked, your line art is shaky, you missed a spot when you were cleaning the kitchen counter, you missed an opportunity while writing your story. That's exhausting. Nobody wants to live like that. Maybe instead of assuming criticism is the default response, you should look at the person and go "I don't know their life, maybe they just need some kindness."

And if you really don't like something someone's written? Go write it yourself. Fanfiction is a free market, there's absolutely nothing stopping you from writing and sharing your own stories. You're not helping anything by offering criticism to someone who doesn't want it and could potentially be put off by it.

#fanfic #fanfiction #fanfiction etiquette #Sam Rambles #Oh boy so excited for the hate I get for this

47 notes · View notes

punderfulowl · 1 year

Text

Top 8 Anime (That I've Seen) in 2022

Whew boy, I wasn't expecting last year to be such a whirlwind, but all that doesn't matter now when there's Weeb stuff afoot! For those who are unfamiliar, when I make an End-of-the-year list, I like to do so without handcuffing myself to JUST the releases of the previous year. If you are familiar, you guys know that I typically keep to the usual Top 10 (except that one year when it was 12), but as you can see, I only had time to fit in 8.

Rules:

- If an anime had already made it onto a previous list, a newer season can't make it on.

- I only keep to TV series, so no movies.

- No repeating franchises (i.e. if I saw two different Gundam shows in one year, I can only pick one).

- I'm skipping Honorable mentions this year.

8. Tales of Zestiria (2016)

Definitely not my favorite Tales story, but BOY was this show pretty to look at. Ufotable is what Ufotable does, I guess. Truth be told, I couldn't get into the game that this anime is based on, so I figured that watching the anime would be easier. And it was!

7. Uzaki-chan Wants to Hang Out (2020)

Ah, yes, one of those shows that upset Twitter. I thought this was an adequately told Rom-Com with our two leads having some decent chemistry together. Looking past the "controversy," it was a perfectly serviceable show.

6. Amagami SS (2010)

This was my surprise of the year. This Slice of Life Romance accomplishes a rare feat amongst its peers: Every girl gets a happy ending! You see, our male protag starts out depressed and lonely, develops a relationship with one of the girls over a 3 episode arc, and then starts all over again. Not only that, but during each arc, the camera shows how the other girls are living their lives and they do just fine without him. Maybe I'm not phrasing it the way I want to, but it's just refreshing showing potential love interests living fulfilling lives without Protag-kun. It does, however, lose points for having some questionable moments with its high school cast of characters. Based on a visual novel btw.

5. Komi Can't Communicate (2021)

I can't be the only one who rolls their eyes whenever a story about an average guy gains the affection of the most popular girl in school. I'm, of course, not rolling my eyes at the premise itself, but rather the quantity of stories like this. This story in particular saves itself by having our titular character stumble their way to success despite their crippling social anxiety. I find it both funny and endearing. I look forward to season 2!

4. Recovery of an MMO Junkie (2017)

Speaking of season 2, I wish this anime had one. I may have mentioned this before about a different anime, but I do find it to be a breath of fresh air whenever we have protagonists who are actually adults. A nerd in their thirties looking for love? Couldn't be me 🙂

3. March Comes in Like a Lion (2016)

I still don't know how Shogi is played, heck I don't even have a handle on Chess, but anyone who has ever seen March Comes in Like a Lion knows that's not why we're here. Again, not Shogi specifically, but knowing that people, regardless of age, have weight of some kind on their shoulders, it's such a shame that that weight is on a character so young. Expectations, anxiety, loneliness; all that can be overwhelming for anybody. I would definitely recommend anyone to seek this out. Bonus, it has music from Bump of Chicken!

2. Spy X Family (2022)

I'm sure most of you guys have seen this. You know.

I'm sure there's still plenty of people who haven't seen this yet. It's Everywhere. You guys STILL know.

This show was the right amount of wholesome I needed last year!

1. Mushoku Tensei (2022)

I would probably have to do some more thinking, but this might be my favorite isekai thus far. Has a well built world AND has utilized the whole reincarnation aspect better than most isekai anime. I would go into it more, but I think I'll make that its own post.

This was a bit late, but at least it's still January, right? Hopefully, I'll be in a better head space this year to make a full Top 10.

Make the best of this new year and stay safe out there.

#anime #spy x family #march comes in like a lion #tales of zestiria #uzaki chan wants to hang out!#amagami ss #komi can't communicate #recovery of an mmo junkie #jobless reincarnation #mushoku tensei

17 notes · View notes

takeeachdayonebookatatime · 1 year

Text

Castle fanfiction

Why did you elbow me? 76

Out of breath

Castle: pov it is now the weekend and this morning Kate has a ptsd group meeting. This is a new group. The point of this one is to overcome your fears/triggers. Today's group meeting is at a pool which should be interesting. Kate took a swim safety class so she should be okay near water. I have to remember to pack her life jacket. Lanie should be arriving soon. She is coming with us in case of an emergency. Kate had taken her medicine and her vitamins already and had eaten earlier. Once Lanie arrived I asked if she was wearing her bathing suit she said yes, it's the custom made one with the funny saying. We decided Kate would change into her bathing suit now. It's a full piece which makes it harder for Lanie if Kate has a medical emergency. But it's her choice what bathing suit she wears, not ours. My swim trunks have books on them.

Kate: pov the car ride was short, once at the meeting the guy doing the meeting mentioned that he picked the pool because he knew Joe had issues around water and he wanted him to overcome his fears same with everyone else. Lanie went over and quietly talked with the guy most likely about me. I could tell Joe is nervous about the water. Castle helped me into my life vest and sat next to me, Lanie sat next to the guy doing the meeting Trevor, he told everyone to sit on the edge of the pool with their feet in the water. Before he could finish speaking, this rude guy named Ben says it's not fair, the baby gets a life jacket. It's not my fault she can't swim. I'm starting to get angry. I can hear Castle trying to calm me down. Ben says life jackets are for wimps and chickens. This guy just keeps going on.

Lanie: pov Trevor finally gets everyone's attention he says he has to say something important before he starts. He says Kate Beckett is wearing a life jacket for her own safety. She has a heart condition known as arrhythmia and as a precaution she has been advised to wear a life jacket while in the pool. Lanie here will be keeping an eye on her, in case of an emergency. Trevor asks Ben to speak first about his ptsd and what caused it. Ben was a soldier in the navy that left him with ptsd, some of his friends died in front of him. Joe on the other hand had an accident as a child over water. Jane was in the air force and saw a lot of horrible things. Ken witnessed his family being murdered as a kid. Donny was an organized crime cop and a bad case got to him. Linda was in the marines and the war got to her. Jennifer who is a teacher survived a sexual assault. It is Kate turn to speak, she mentions she is a homicide Captain out of the 12th precinct before she can finish ben shouts no wonder you have PTSD dealing with all those dead bodies. I tell Ben to shut it because I cut open dead bodies. I'm a medical examiner which grossed him out.

Castle: pov Kate starts to finish her story. It's not because I'm a cop that I have PTSD, it's because I survived a shooting. Ben shouts, isn't it part of the job as a cop. Kate says I was not shot on the job, I was shot at a funeral and almost died. Ben says i've been shot before its no big deal, Kate says well mine was very traumatic and I'm lucky to be alive. In 1999 my mother was stabbed to death in an alley it was written off as random gang violence turns out the cop and 2 of his cop friends were dirty robbing mobsters for money and when they went to snatch Joe pulgatti it went south a federal agent named Bob armen was in the alley and got shot they pinned the death on Joe who was innocent, a very prominent man named senator bracken found out about there little scheme and black mailed them. My mom was helping to free Joe and this is what got her and her colleagues killed. Bracken did not want anyone figuring out about the scheme. I was looking into my mother's murder when I learned my Captain Roy Montgomery was one of the dirty cops and the true killer of bob armen. In the end a hit man killed everyone associated with the case but in a Final stand my Captain killed him and all of his men dying in the process and at his funeral I almost died thanks to Senator Bracken who was nice enough to hire another hit man to try and finish me off. I eventually put him in jail thanks to a tape I found that Montgomery had given to my mom.

Lanie: pov I mention everything surrounding Kate's shooting. That is why she has chest trauma and arrhythmia.

Kate: pov I apologized for having a very long story, Trevor said it is okay. Almost everyone was very nice to me. We were paired off in groups of 2. We would have to go under water and grab something from the bottom of the pool. Since I'm not allowed to do that, Castle offered to take my spot. Next we had to jump in the pool and save our partner from a fake drowning and swim a few laps. I used to do this all the time in the NYPD but not since my shooting. Lanie says i can participate in this part but i have to be careful. We have a time limit and the one person waits by the door, then has to quickly make it over to the pool and rescue their partner. Castle will be the drowning victim instead of me since I can Not go under water.

#castle #caskett #stanakatic #katebeckett #richardcastle #nathanfillion #lanieperish #tamalajones #fanfiction

2 notes · View notes

nasatestpilot · 1 year

Text

Let me jump off the plane

I want to free fall

I want gravity to be in sole control

I'm tired of fighting for control

I'll finally be free

My limbs will go limp well before I land

No, I can't do that

I promise I'll be safe

When I pull the cord

It'll be the first parachute that I have ever had

All my life I always hit the ground

Get up, shake the dust, put some dirt on the wounds

Hide behind a smile, everyone likes it when you smile

No one can notice the broken bones or bruises

When they're hidden in plain view

Camouflaged behind the mask

That suffocates my truth

My lungs may be clean

But I'm always coughing

It's like I'm struggling for air

Maybe that's why I wrapped a belt around my neck at least three times

I forget if I tried more than that

I went to a gun shop out in the country

And chickened out before I bought one

I didn't want them to feel responsible for my death

On the first warm day of 2018

My childhood in the backseat

Smoke blown in my face

Ashes through the window

But I'm told that I am fine

I learned early on that my voice could be heard

I learned early on that no one ever cared to listen

I was taught to be ashamed of my mistakes

I should have already known even before I had a chance to learn

I'd accept that it's my fault so we could all move on

I'm not a victim because if I'm involved I am always the culprit

Any time I'm involved I receive a verdict of guilt

Be silent, be silent

No one wants to know the truth

Is it the truth if no one else agrees?

How was I to know?

I was just a kid

Reality is all perception

No love was shown in the house

This isn't what I wanted in a family

Hug me, hold me, tell me that I am valued

Please do something to show me that I matter

Put your arm around my shoulder

Let me feel that I am real

I'm scared that I only exist as a ghost

I could vanish at any moment

I'm an imaginary friend that's been forgotten

When a real person comes along

And I disintegrate into obscurity

Lay me into the fucking ground

So I don't need to haunt the world of my presence

I feared that I could never be accepted

I was embarrassed to like anything

And if I opened up

I'd only expose my insecurities

Which would inevitably lead to rejection

I need to keep my distance

To shield from all the pain

Unworthy of unconditional love

I want the suffering to end

Maybe if I'm the best then I'll be good enough

Maybe if I'm smart then they'll want to listen

Maybe if I'm funny enough they'll choose to spend time with me

Maybe if I'm good at sports I'll be able to express myself

I've only been told by my parents that I made them proud

When someone else gave me recognition

They never took my word when I told them I was good

I'm trying, I'm trying

I'm lying, I'm lying

I'm crying, I'm crying

I'm dying, I'm dying

I have lost the will to live

My imagination feels more real than what's around me

Living in fiction is the only thing that keeps me alive

Every time I try to fill my story with actual experiences

The whole plot falls apart

If I can't achieve what I've set out as my purpose

Then what's the fucking point?

My life may have been surrounded by people

But I spent it all alone inside my head

I know what selfish is

I was called it all the time

Well it's selfish to guilt me into staying

When you say that you need me

Since I carried that label any time I shared what I needed

How come this time it is different?

It's my life and if I choose not to live

Just accept it

Everyone already lived without me

Death is final but why not take the risk?

I've been conditioned to play it safe

And I'm breaking down the myth of authority

It's painful to read but once you're done you can move on

And worry about your own life

Everyone's going through a lot

Everyone feels a little numb

These feelings I share have existed as part of my life for as long as I can remember

I can think through and process and accept that I am not defined

By the thoughts that plague my mind

But these feelings come back every time that I feel the slightest bit of shame

And I feel shame with the even slightest fuck up

I work on it but I still can't make it stop

I try to be mindful but I end up being buried deeper

The spiral is too slick for me to grab on to anything

There's only one relief I know

It only occurs when something good happens

The script becomes flipped

And I become the me I want to be again

2 notes · View notes

littlecarnet · 10 months

Text

Just got back from celebrating my great aunt's 100th birthday. We went out to eat at her favorite restaurant, a little Mediterranean place with lots of outdoor seating. She typically eats outside at home too, I think she just enjoys watching the world go by, and boy has she seen the world change. It's always interesting getting her pov about it. Some things I can definitely relate.

- She does love that people are much more open about their health, emotionally, mentally, and physically. In her time it was a private matter not discussed beyond a doctor's office or within a tight social circle. She feels that it's made people more sympathetic to each other. While she has no health issues besides being deaf on her left ear, she's happy people can stop feeling ashamed of health troubles. I told her stigmas are still around but things are getting better. Especially with the youth pushing for more awareness and compassion.

---

- She sadly admits that the feeling of being left behind never gets better with age. She's outlived everyone she's loved besides her descendants. But her previous 6 husbands, 5 of her own children, her friends...they're all gone. Often by decades. She lost her best friend when she was 50, and then multiple people she knew began to pass away before their 70s. This has resulted in her growing numb to death, but she doesn't like it. She says she rather sob like a child for days, then to feel nothing at all. She says she now better understands her grandmother, who lived to be 103. She understands why the poor woman became a recluse.

----

I didn't bring up that I'm pretty much a recluse already. I've never had luck with friends sticking around, so I'm already desensitized to being left alone.

As usual, we stayed a good four hours talking over iced mint tea and rose halva, but around midway she was getting tired. She sleeps really early, around 8pm, and we headed out into the front yard with her daughter to catch up. We said our goodbyes, promising to come back one more time tomorrow, and went back to the hotel to go rest, and just in time because there was an event with fireworks going off, and we could see them pretty well from our upstairs room.

We had a nice dinner with delicious sides of salads, dolma, avgolemono, a big plate of flaky spanakopita, and chicken lemon rice. For dessert we all got various flavors of Italian soda. My favorite has always been rose and elderberry. I blame her. She used to make me this as a kid. She loves anything with rose water in it, and now so do I. She says roses are the secret to her soft skin. I believe it.

The next day we went to the forest with the intention of having a picnic, but it rained, so we ate in the car. But it was still nice because you just can't beat that fresh, cool smell of pines and rain. Later we went to ABQ to go shop a bit but it was so crowded everywhere and we couldn't find good parking. It was also hot. We decided to go into a museum and mooch off the A/C as we enjoyed learning some local history. Went back to my great aunt's, spent some more time with her, was given a bunch of baklava to take home, and off we went.

I'll be visiting her again, possibly in September, before the first winter snow at least. Any later than that and it's almost impossible to go up the mountain roads. Like me, she lives rural too, and rarely comes down the mountain to the village. I wonder if it's some bizarre genetic thing for my family to live apart from the rest of the world like this.

#im so tired #the drive is so long to abq and santa fe #glad to be home #time to crash

1 note · View note

ohimesama · 2 years

Text

9.11.22 Happy Blessed Sunday

8:58 am

This uncle Jun seems and his facial expression hahaha what is inside his head now... I gave to him the 100 that RV gave supposed to be for the electric cutter, to ask a favour not to cut it coz Uncle DD will make a way to handle the fundings... Coz Uncle Jun will buy a water tube to replace it coz there is a hole on the water tube...

Uncle Jun even said that probably DD hit it last time he cut the grass,probably he didn't know...

He said DD didn't give anything extra? Well,in a way there is a point coz all the money is on Uncle DD... hmm... hmm... Can't even assist me on 155 for my documents... It is like caging a pet forever... That is totally unfair! Or probably it is just wrong timing... low fundings???

Still have pelvic pain whew!

9:25 am

Uncle Jun is already here and now replacing and fixing the water tube and return the left money coz I asked him to buy me a coffee if there is a money change for that, coz I'm craving of coffee and I'm out of budget....My system feels low if I can't intake coffee plus I need salabat,still... My voice is still raspy,so sad out of budget...

11 am

My brother RV is here from his office... His room is locked and Jana went home to her first family, Janna is my half-sister remember angels?

12:20 noon

Jana my half-sister and my niece on them are here already... The door key is here with Jana...

I told my brother RV not to get a free-food coming from call or any any contact center company coz he accidentally had an experienced of food poisoned the last time... Don't trust that much on call center canteen of offering a free food for everyone coz it is not true... I don't trust call center canteen that much...

Call center company are real if you are in the house,but if you are in the company it is as well real but you must be theatrics... You must have that thicked face in that theatrics call center company...

Did I mention here that my brother RV used to collect NBA cards during our teenage years,times that our adoptive parent's or family had our own Karaoke Club Bar somewhere in Makati... Imagine his NBA card cost 500 pesos per card, I'm not sure if it is still the same... Every weekends we went to mall just to shop for my stuff in Sanrio and my brother RV went to NBA cards shop... He used to spend around 5k to 10k pesoses every weekends just for his cards...

I still have the windblow and I feel frustrated... I'm not going back to any past but I've learned from it...

I want to have a future and good journey with someone and wanna do whitening injection and my job,I feel self-pity... I need money and I need money...

12:53 noon

Done,eating and my menu for today whew! I forgot to post here...

Saute string beans and my new fried chicken....

Yellow means jealousy and intellectual...

1:44 pm

In my part I still feel self-pity,I wanna idol my aunt Ten2x or my Aunt Karol for having so many friends along the way of her journey... I wanna see donkey and camel... They have good life...

My aunt Ten2x is married with a pilot,very wealthy and living in the USA having 2 grown-up boys one is also pilot and the other one I don't know...

On reverse my aunt Karol is still happily single and having her sex life,I think so hahaha and becoming wealthy... Gaining so many friends that I really admire her and happy working and travelling and she is happy...

Me? I feel frustrated....I have dreams and for 15 years I'm still a flatten pancake by these windblow for 15 years... I wanna cry... I'm super self-pitying!

5:30 pm

I still have the windblow.... I feel fat and ugly and self-pitying and I wanna have some self-fulfillment, I feel bitter... I need money,I need money! I wanna see donkey and camel...

I wanna buy starbucks.... I need money and I need money... Miss having xfactor and I miss gaining friends,losing self-esteem...

I miss the good, old days... I feel intimidated on some Filipino's... I need to get a job away from here... I need money, I need money!!!! I want real money, angels...

I feel self-pity... I want to express myself... I want my xfactor and I need money!!!

8:03 pm

I hate gaining then without money....I feel intimidated on skinny people here in the Philippines....They look as if they are in a group of skinny people...

8:30 pm

I still have the windblow and I feel bitter...Too much for 15 years just for nothing... Thinking of theories to share here... Probably about HELP! later will post here...

10:43 pm

Done,doing our night time routine et al with John... Time to chill and later will shower before sleeping... Oh! It is my upbringing here to shower before going to sleep hahaha Hygiene is important in a way.... Basics aha! Will drink kafe while sharing my theories here now, it is about HELP!

10:54 pm

Drinking my kafe or kohi in japanese means coffee time...

HELP! There are 2 kinds of help and 2 kinds of way of helping people or 2 kinds of an individual who is helping you,but what is their deep within? Or what is their deep inside? Is it real or just a show???

There is a person or people will want to extend their arms on you with a mature mind and purity on doing their help on someone who needs it...

Like for example someone asks a help on someone then the person who will help that person who needs help,will whole-heartedly help you until he or she makes sure that you are already ohkay... Meaning the person who helps you,will try to help you until you are ohkay... And they will never brag it on other people that they are helping you, coz if the person who helps you are real they will never announce it, if not needed...

Life is still a case by case...

Next angle of HELP! There is/are people who will help you but the purpose of their HELP! is to show-off or to use you as the needy person who can't stand or do it on your own...

There are kinds of HELP! that we can say as "strategic help" this kind of help is real but not genuine...

Strategic help meaning so that the other people will always see them that they are helping you but not really religious...

My view about help is broad and warm meaning must be genuine...

My view about HELP is to help someone until I make sure that they are ohkay, if I can help and if I can,why not...

The right way of helping a person is to let them stand at the right moment and guide them correctly... But life is a case by case... Help varies on each person,your help can have different versions but the main point is to help the person and allow them to have their own life and let them have their own stage...

11:38 pm

Time to shower and later the part 2 of help linking with windblow or curse...

0 notes

johnsamericano · 3 years

Text

𝔖𝔲𝔤𝔞𝔯 ℜ𝔲𝔰𝔥 𝔧.𝔧.𝔥 •3•

I hope this ain't getting shitty. Thank you for reading, sexy people. Send me a message or an ask if you'd like to be added to the tag list.

warnings: hungover jaehyun, age gap, hospitals, nothing too extreme.

sugar rush m.list.

taglist: @thoreeo @trustmahluv @sunny-nyu @nanascupid @silent-potato @painted-hills

Yoonoh woke up on a strange bed, the mattress stiffer than the one he had back home. He refused to open his eyes, fearing that the daylight would worsen his headache.

“Wake up, sunshine.” He groaned, all the memories from the past night hitting him like a truck. “Come on, I made breakfast.”

His eyelids finally fluttered open, frown softening at the sight of you in a messy bun and your cute pajamas.

“How come you look so fresh?” The dark circles under his eyes had deepened in the span of a few hours. Thank God he didn't have to work that day.

“I always look fresh.” You seemed to be more comfortable around him. Perhaps it was because you had to tuck him in last night. “Up.”

You tugged both of his limp hands, forcing him to sit up.

“What did you cook? It smells nice.” He scrunched up his nose like a little kid.

“Eggs, bacon, and hash browns.” Fast as lightning, he got up from bed. On his way to the kitchen, he noticed the blanket hanging from the edge of your sofa. Disappointment pinched his heart.

“Why didn't you sleep with me? You would've been more comfortable.”

You set two plates on the small table, pulling the pan out of the stove to serve them.

“You spread yourself all over the bed as soon as I laid you down.” You lied successfully. You didn’t have the heart to tell him you weren’t that comfortable yet.

You let the pan down on the kitchen counter, taking a seat in front of him.

“Do you still want to visit my father?” Sparkling orbs stared at him timidly, fearing his answer would be negative.

“I mean…” You hummed, trying not to give it as much importance. “I do want to go!” He quickly corrected himself, frantically shaking his hands. “It’s just that I don't want to meet your father like this.” He pointed at his bed hair, which had only become messier since he woke up.

“You’re acting like he's gonna see you.” There was a slight bitterness in your tone, along with a fake grin.

“Alright, let's do this instead...” Yoonoh sat up straight, clearing his throat as if he were about to give a speech. “We’ll have breakfast, you'll shower quickly, and then we’ll drive to my house so I can fix myself. How does that sound?”

“So I'm finally gonna see your mansion? How exciting.” You kicked his leg teasingly under the table, his cheeks inevitably dipping as he tried to suppress a smile. “I bet you have some peacocks in your backyard.”

“And there's also a dolphin in my pool.” He let out a hearty laugh, extending his arm over the table to grab your hand.

His house was most definitely not what you expected.

It was about the size of the one you grew up in, the decoration inside minimalistic. There were no expensive paintings framed with pure gold, only pictures of him and his family. There was a small backyard you could access through the French door in the kitchen. Half of it was occupied by a greenhouse.

“I had to donate the peacocks to the zoo.” He whispered as you looked through the glass door, squeezing your shoulders with his slim fingers.

“What a shame.” Hesitantly, he wrapped both of his limbs around your torso, letting his chin rest stop of your head. Your heartbeat was thumping loudly against your chest. Yoonoh surely felt it but decided not to comment on it.

“There’s a Tv in my room in case you want to watch something while I shower.” A hint of mischief adorned his honey-like voice. “Or you can come in and watch me instead.”

“Stop!” Your elbow connected with his ribs out of pure panic, making him bend in pain with his hands covering the injured spot.

“It was a joke...” He whispered, teeth gritting together.

I made him mad, you thought. Should you escape or face the consequences of his anger? All thoughts erased from your mind as he grabbed your calves, lifting you over his shoulder.

“Put me down!” You hit his back with closed fists, unable to see the expression on his face. “Yoonoh!”

He went up the stairs, proceeding to enter his room and throw you on his bed. Thousands of dirty scenarios crossed your mind before he threw himself on top of you, crushing your bones under his muscular body.

“My...ribs...”

“Oh, sorry, what is that?” To make matters worse, his fingers tickled your sides, provoking a fit of desperate giggles to escape your mouth. “I’m not hearing an apology.”

“Sorry! Sorry!” His hands finally stopped, giving you time to breathe. Nonetheless, he remained laid on your chest, using his forearms to lift his weight. “Aren’t you gonna shower?”

“I like you.”

The confession was so sudden, so raw it took you some time to finally react. But you had no words to give him an answer, instead, you combed your fingers through his long hair, massaging his scalp while waiting for him to speak up again.

“I never thought I'd be feeling more than friendly affection for you. Our agreement doesn't include love, after all. But I've started feeling like a teenager all over again. I can't help but get excited whenever you call me. Do you know how sweet your voice sounds through the phone?” He sighed, discouraged at your lack of response. “I guess you're not there yet.”

Instead of verbally answering, you planted a sweet kiss on his head, right where small, grey hairs had started growing.

“I’m not good with words.”

“That’s alright.” He snuck his hands under your back, holding you tightly as a sudden need to nurture you took over him. The mature image he had of you faded in less than a second, leaving behind a young, troubled woman. “I’ll shower quickly so we can go see your pops. I bet we’ll get along just fine, maybe even go golfing when he wakes up.”

“I forgot you're almost the same age. Creepy.” He smiled, though uneasiness started steering in his guts.

“Does that bother you?” He asked without giving it a second thought.

“I don't know yet.”

(...)

The man with high cheekbones and bruised skin laid limp on the hospital bed. Yoonoh had been working on his case for about a month, yet, it only started feeling real the moment he entered the room.

“This is my dad.” All emotions had escaped your eyes as if your soul wasn't there anymore. Only an empty shell.

“You look so much like him.” he was afraid touching you wouldn't be the right thing to do, so instead, he said: “He seems like a suitable golf buddy.”

Tension finally loosened its grip around his body as you snorted, pigment returning to your cheeks. Finally, he wrapped his hand around yours.

“He will wake up, y/n.”

“He’s taking his sweet time.” You glanced back at the laying figure, skinnier with every day he spent asleep. “I want someone to pay for taking away the last person that loved me.”

The last person that loved you. Would Yoonoh be able to fill that spot? Not yet, probably. He couldn't modify the depth of his feelings, but he could surely give you the vengeance you longed.

“Do you trust me?” With your eyes still glued to your father, you nodded. “Then I can assure you we’ll win the case.”

“I know we will.”

He sat silently with you, holding your hand without saying a word. The smell of alcohol and the beeping noise of machines made him nauseous. He hated hospitals. You noticed the change in his demeanor, his hand becoming cold while holding yours with strength.

“Do you wanna go?”

“No!” He smiled through the pain, scooting his chair closer to lay your hand on his lap.

He wouldn't agree to get his ass off the plastic chair. You had to tell him you were hungry for him to finally stand up, still clutching your hand like your father did when you were still a kid. His parental behavior caused several emotions to stir inside your guts, so mixed up you couldn't quite put a finger on any of them.

“What do you want to eat?” The tension finally left his body once out of the building.

“Soup.” You smiled while swiping your thumb on top of his knuckles. “I know a place, but to be honest, it isn't good. So we can go to the store and get the ingredients to- but you can't cook.”

“I’m up for a cooking lesson if you are.” He wanted to see your pretty smile again. Maybe making a fool of himself would help. “Let’s hit the road.”

“Wow, so cool.”

“I know.”

(...)

“Can you grab that can of chicken broth?” You pointed at the high shelf, letting go of Yoonoh’s hand to allow him to move freely

“I have a better idea.” He dragged you by the arm so you were standing in front of him, trapped between his body and the shelf. “I’ll lift you so you can reach it.” Matching his words, his hands grasped your waist, ready to carry you.

“Stop!” You slapped his hands repeatedly between giggles. Ignoring your complaints, he started lifting you. “Yoonoh!”

“Yoonoh?” A feminine voice had him placing you back on your feet in less than a second.

“Seryeong, I didn't expect to see you here.” His hands remained seated on the curve of your waist.

“Neither did I. I was surprised when Sungchan told me you'd left early yesterday.” She seemed a bit older than you but still younger than the man behind you.

“I had some matters to take care of.” She eyed you from head to toes with a smug grin plastered on her lips. Just by the look of her clothes, you could tell she was as wealthy as Yoonoh. You feared the scene would turn into a tv worthy drama.

“I’ll go get the chicken breast.” You tried escaping his grip, only to be pulled closer to his warmth.

“No need to. It's already inside the cart.”

Why am I so dumb?

“Does your father know about your little girlfriend?” She asked without hesitation.

“I guess.”

“And why didn't he tell me anything?” She cocked an eyebrow, his hands finally loosening around your body and allowing you to move from your position.

“Look, this is something you should talk about with him. Now, if you excuse us...” With a hand on your shoulder, he began pushing the cart to the next aisle, the chicken broth long forgotten.

“Is this some kind of arranged marriage situation?”

“Something like that.” His hands were tense while holding the cart, knuckles turning white from the strength used. “Before you start asking, I'm not really in the mood and I don't want to direct my bad mood toward you. Let's talk about something else, alright?”

Who was that woman that had the power to turn him into a literal raging ball of fire with just a few words?

#nct au #nct imagines #nct ot21 #nct smut #nct x reader #nct #nct scenarios #nct 127 #nct angst #nct jaehyun #nct fluff #nct jung yoonoh

148 notes · View notes

whats-wild-to-you · 2 years

Text

Always

"You're going to do what?" You ask Jay, certain that must've heard wrong.

"I've been thinking about it for a long time!" He answers, casually shrugging his shoulders.

"Did you talk to someone, because it is news to me!"

"It's not a big deal."

"Not a big deal? Jay, not only did you retire your position as CEO recently and announced in the same breath that your retirement as an artist is imminent too, now you're telling me you want to leave South Korea? Not a big deal? That's a huge deal!"

"Roc Nation wants me to put out an album and Won Soju is doing really well in the States, I need to capitalize on that, cement my legacy! While I'm still young."

"Oh jeez, not that 'I'm getting old' speech again!"

You make a disgusting face, but giggle when Jay makes fun of your face.

"But it's true! Soohyuk agrees with me too!"

"Does he? I'll go talk to him right now!"

After graduating from Yale with a degree in journalism and political science you were immediately offered a job at the New York Times. It was a dream job for sure and when you were about to accept, you received a devastating phone call.

Your mother back in South Korea was very sick, so you left everything, packed your bags and moved to Seoul.

But landing a job as a professional writer in Seoul was way more difficult than you had imagined. All that was offered to you was to write gossip for some online news outlets. Desperately, you reached out to the New York Times, explained your situation, and luckily they were willing to hire you as a freelance writer. Not ideal, but better than nothing, you thought and dove right in. You wrote articles for them for 3 years and eventually you made a name for yourself. In fact, you became so popular, CNN wanted to hire you to work from Washington. That happended 2 months ago. You told your family about it and they were excited for you, and since your mom was doing a lot better, nothing was holding you back.

"I really wanna go!" You were having chimaek with Hyunjung at AOMG. Besides your family, she was the only other person who knew about the offer from CNN.

"What will I do if you leave?" She said over and over. You were laughing, thinking back about how the guys at AOMG reacted when they met you for the first time. Shortly after, Sunghwa, Kiseok, Sungwoo and Jay joined you.

"I knew I smelled fried chicken!" Kiseok said.

Hyunjung shared the good news while you went to get more beer, and apparently everybody was happy for you. Everybody, except one.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Hey Soohyuk! Can I talk to you?"

"Sure. Come with me." He leads you to his office.

You waste no time, cutting right to the case.

"Why is Jay moving to the US?"

"What did he tell you?"

"What? Wait. What do you mean?"

Soohyuk remains silent, realizing he just made a huge mistake.

"Spill it! What do you know?"

"I think you should talk to Jay!"

You try to find Jay, but apparently he already left to attend a meeting.

Whenever you try to talk to him, he says he's busy. It's been going on for weeks. Soon you will have to move back to the US, and you need to talk to Jay before that.

Desperate times call for desperate measures, you say to yourself as you write a text to Jay.

r u cutting me off? no matter how busy u were in the past, u always made time for me :(

You know it's only a matter of time before he cracks, so you sit back and wait for his text. What you don't expect is to find Jay banging on your apartment door at 1 in the morning.

"What are you doing here this late?"

Instead of answering he asks a question as well. "How bad do you want the job in Washington?"

"How do you know?"

"Just answer me!"

"It would be a dream come true, I'm so excited I can't think about anything else."

"Ok then."

"Ok, what?"

"I was going to say no. To the whole US move thing. I didn't want to leave Seoul. I felt like I was abandoning my people. Then I talked to Soohyuk and I realized a few things."

"Yeah, I remember the whole 'if one door closes, it's because another door opened' speech."

"Hyunjung told us about Washington. She said you really wanted to go. That's when I decided to take the offer from Roc Nation."

"What does your decision have to do with me?"

"I swear you're really dense sometimes! I wanna be with you. Everywhere you go, I will follow!"

"Jay..."

"I love you! Always have, always will!"

#h1ghrmusic #h1ghrgang #jay park #jay park scenario #jay park aomg #aomg imagines #park jaybum #jay park fanfic #jay park scenarios #aomg scenarios #aomg jay park #khh imagines

77 notes · View notes

telephaaty · 2 years

Text

Exiled: What is she? ✧Chapter 1✧

(Photos retrieved from Pinterest. Credit to whom it may belong. Edit made by me.)

Previous < Masterlist > Next

Genres: Fantasy, Supernatural, Werewolf! AU, angst, hurt, fluff

Series rating: Mature

Summary:

I have spent half my life in exile. I woke up in the middle of the forest with no memories. I don't know who I am, how I ended up like this, I don't know if someone is looking for me or even if I have a family. The only thing I know for sure is that I must hide and that when the full moon is at its highest, disaster begins.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━✧❂✧━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

17 years later - Present

Free territory, close to the human town

Girl's POV

I'm exhausted. I've gotten up as soon as the sun rose to go hunting, I've spent half the morning trying to find something for lunch and dinner. But no, the spoiled little brat doesn't want to eat rabbits because he says they are so cute and cuddly.

"I'm sorry, my Lord, for not getting you a deer" - I said loudly grumbling, kicking a stone - "but it's not the season." - I jump from the edge of the forest to the road that leads to the village.

Someone explain to me why I spoil him so much. He should eat what I give him. Yes, I also feel sorry for bunnies, but if he wants to survive, he will have to eat whatever. Oh! But those eyes that he makes like an abandoned puppy.

I head to the nearest human town to buy meat with the little savings I had saved for emergencies. I avoid crossing the territories taken, as it would bring me problems and I prefer to keep a low profile.

Arriving at one of the entrances to the town, I pull up the hood of my black tunic and head towards the butcher shop. This tunic is one of my favorite clothes, although I don't have a lot of clothes, it was the first gift I received from Joohyuk, a few months after we met when I mentioned my fear of exposing myself to people.

I go up to Mr. Cho, the butcher, and ask him for a piece of beef. He tells me a new price from when I was here last time. It is out of my budget.

"It has increased? Not long ago I was here". - I said frowning- "I can't afford it" - I sighed- "Is the pork at the same price?" - I hate pork.

"I'm sorry dear, but the distributor raised the prices of the cuts of meat, therefore, I must increase my prices" - said Mr. Cho, looking at me with pity.

Almost everyone in the villages I visit knows that I am a poor orphan who lives in a cabin near the forest. ERROR! I live in a cave in the middle of the forest. Which is sadder, but you get used to it.

"I heard that you do work in exchange for food or some money" - continued Mr. Cho, looking at me thoughtfully - "I will give you some pork and some small pieces of meat that people do not buy if you help me to lower the boxes of chickens that arriving in a while. My employees come in late today and I can't alone ”.

"Done!" - I told the butcher without much thought.

━━━━━✧❂✧━━━━━

I swear this is the last time I will indulge that spoiled omega. All my muscles ache. As people say, the years do not come alone. I lower the last box of the Crescent distributor truck and leave it at the back door of the butcher shop, where Mr. Cho is already waiting for me with a bag with the agreed-upon. I thank him and go home.

On the way, I pass a greengrocer's and I see that he has some delicious oranges in sight, Jisung likes them very much and has been hinting that he needs vitamin C for tissue repair. Astute little, he knows how to play. I approach the seller and ask him for half a kilo of oranges, I don't want to spend all the bills I have. He gives me the oranges, but before I go he asks me a question.

“You are the girl who lives near the forest, right? "-He asks cautiously.

"Yes. why?" -I looked at him narrowing my eyes. I don't like curious people.

“People have told me that you do certain…. herbal remedies "-he says thinking the words carefully-" One of my youngest children has respiratory problems and the treatment is very expensive, I would like to know if you would have ... something to help him. My wife and I are looking for cheaper alternatives, although I would not accept things from people who are not trained to deal with medicinal matters, they say that you are good at what you do. -He says analyzing me and quickly adds- I can pay you with some merchandise.

It is me now, the one who analyzes him, looking for any sign of trick. I look at him for a couple more seconds and nod.

"Okay. Yes, I have something that could help. I'll send you a free trial sample and if it works we can work out a deal. But I am not responsible for any side effect ”- the man smiles at me and nods in agreement, I say goodbye and go towards the forest path.

━━━━━✧❂✧━━━━━

I am coming home, and I observed a tall young boy with brown hair coming from the opposite side with a basket of wet clothes in it. He raises his head, looks at me, and smiles, but it falls immediately when we get closer and he can smell my anger and exhaustion.

“Park Jisung” - I call him pointing a finger at him- “you will do massage me for two weeks. I think I broke a bone in my back trying to do things to please your whims "- I said, sighing tiredly and sitting on the cut log that works as a bench.

"How exaggerated, Noona." he says rolling his eyes. - "Here, -he handed me some bills- I managed to sell the poor rabbits in the other to-... Wait". -He interrupts himself-" What did you have to do to get meat?" -He asks me worried and about to panic.

"Calm down. It was nothing strange. Just moving some heavy boxes”. - I said playing down importance to reassure him- "By the way, why did you come from the river with the clothes I washed yesterday?" - I looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Because certainly, you didn't wash them properly." -he said as if it were obvious- "I can be poor and live in the middle of the forest, but for no reason am I going to accept walking around with clothes smelling of fish." he would say while he hung his clothes on a makeshift rope that hung from two trees.

I was about to refute, but another voice coming from the side of the forest spoke first, I didn't even hear him arrive.

"Always so cute" -said a young man, a little taller than Jisung, with dark brown eyes and black hair, appearing from the trees.

"Joohyuk, you over here again." - I said tired of this day- "It is the third time this week that you appear to visit us, what happens?" - I asked suspecting that something was happening. He only came once a week, two at most.

"I just missed you both a lot,"- he said pouting.

I looked at him without expression, he looked at me seriously, and then he gave a quick glance at Jisung who was still hanging up his clothes in the meantime he sat next to me. I understood his message.

"Jisung, could you please clean and separate the meat for dinner." -I said handing him the bags- "I also brought you some oranges. Don't eat them all ”. - The omega took the bags, without complaining and walked away. He also understood that it was something he couldn't hear.

“Okay, now, speak. What is it? What is it that worries you?" -I asked. His concern was making me uncomfortable. Joohyuk is a calm person, who tries not to be worried in front of us and always looks for a solution rationally.

"That is what I do not know". -He said looking around and whispering in case Jisung wanted to listen- “I've been feeling that something big is going to happen, but ... I can't know what it is. That is why I have come more often this week, I wanted to know that you were doing well."

I could feel his gaze on me but my gaze was on my feet. I knew what direction this conversation would take.

"Why don't you consider my invitation to live with me again? You both will be safer in my house."- He said to me.

"I have already lost the times I have said no to you in these 6 years that we have known each other." - I said touching my forehead, preventing a headache- Why do you insist?

"Because I worry about you" -he said raising his voice a little, exasperated- "and Jisung. Have you been feeling well? I've been seeing you very weak lately. Have you had any symptoms?"- he said returning to a soft and calm tone.

"No. I'm fine. Just a little tired, I guess I haven't been sleeping much."

"If you need me to get you something of ..." - I interrupted.

"I told you I'm fine." - I said sharply, looking at him.

“Ok but clearly he's not” -he said to point at to Jisung who was coming back- “And you know perfectly well that he won't be alive for long. You need to find a suitable place for him. " -I was about to answer, but he interrupted me- “And you also know that he will not come with me, not without you. But he will not survive with us anyway. "

"Yes, I know. I'll figure out something". - I said to end the topic- “I have work to do. I need to find the plants that I should work with"- I said to them both, standing up -"Joohyuk, could you stay with him until I come back?" - I asked my friend and he nodded.

"Noona?" - Jisung called me before I went further into the forest- "We don't have any more Gotu kola" -he gave me a nervous look. He knew that without it, his health would deteriorate.

"Okay. I am taking charge of that". - I gave him a sad smile and left.

━━━━━✧❂✧━━━━━

I have spent half my life living in the forest, so I can say that I know it like the palm of my hand and I know where to find what I need. Well, at least the free territory zone. But some days, like today, for example, the forest liked to play at changing trails or moving plants around.

I was about to turn around and go to my cave, but I took a moment to think about what to do and which way to go. I leaned against a tree and after a while, I could feel a tingling in my hand that was resting on it. It was a vine that climbed to the middle of my arm and I laughed, apparently the forest was sensing my exhaustion and wanted to lift my spirits. Until the wind blew and I felt an unfamiliar smell.

Curious about this new scent, I followed it. It led me to a kind of falling path and I leaned over the edge to observe. I could see a bulge so I decided to go down to inspect and the smell got a little more intense. There was a slight smell of strawberries with a hint of coffee. It was a strange combination. When I got closer, I realized that this bulge was a person, more specifically an unconscious young man. He was a little face down, I could only notice his light brown hair and his thick lips with a mole and another on his cheek, I could tell that he was hurt, I could smell blood and he was missing some clothes.

When I was in front of him, I realized that he was not a human boy but a werewolf and I doubted that he is a rogue.

Shit! And now what do I do?

55 notes · View notes

dazz-linglight · 3 years

Text

INCEPTION

Pairing: Werewolf!San x Werewolf!Reader

(should I make this a series?)

Genre: AU Fluff/Smut

Every werewolf knew that when they completed 18 they were ready to find their respective mates. Mates are made for each other, chosen by the Moon to be their permanent love. San was already 21 and had yet to find his and thinks about her everyday, asking the goddess to bring his mate soon and his wish was finally granted on his first day of the second year in college. He was just walking in when a sudden new scent caught him off guard. A strong, sweet and powerful scent in its ability to tug at something deep and primal within him giving urges he had never truly felt until this moment.

You were walking through the campus with a friend when he got hit by the strong scent of cinnamon and coffee coming from you, making him dizzy and euphoric, his heart beating faster and even faster when your eyes met his. He couldn't contain the big smile that occupied his lips, instantly being full of love while you went through the same, falling hard for him and leaving your friend to follow the path until the two of you were just centimeters apart. His scent of honey embraced you all over when he reached to touch your face, wanting to know if you were real or if he was dreaming again.

"My Luna.." When you smiled at the nickname he wanted nothing more than to kiss you and he did exactly that, smooching your cheeks first and then going to your lips, hugging you by the waist while you brought him closer by the shoulders, getting on the tip of your toes to match his height. You separate after a minute to recover the air, keeping close to each other.

"Choi San." He finally presented himself.

"Ah.. I'm ________" You said laughing softly until remembering where you were. "Oh, I have to go to class! Here, give me your number.." You took out your phone and gave it to him, he immediately typed the number and saved it as My Sannie ❤️, soon giving it back to you.

"Can I take you there?" He asked biting his lower lip.

"No, you have class too, I don't want to make you get late. We can get lunch together?"

"Yes! Okay, then you better go, then I can see you sooner." He said pulling your hand to his lips, leaving a cute kiss on your skin and then letting you go.

"See you soon, San!" You said waving at him and going back to your friend, also a werewolf, who was closer watching the whole thing. The two of you went to into the Business building, telling her everything you felt finding your mate.

|••••••••••••••••••••|

During class, San had saved your contact as My Mate ❤️ and sent messages to you, starting a game of questions to get to know you better and you got to know about him too, going back and forth with preferences, dislikes, food, family and friends and so on. At the end of classes, San told his friends and the alpha that he finally found his mate and they were happy for him, a few of them already found their mates and some of them not. On their way out of the campus, San kept looking around trying to find you but you found him first, coming from behind and covering his eyes and he smiled turning around to see you.

"Guys, this is my mate, _____." He said looking at his brothers proudly then back at you, burying his face on your neck to rub his scent on you and you waved at them.

"Hi.." You stand on his side to get a better look at his brothers, still holding San's hand and one of them laughed at San who hasn't stopped looking at you with his gold eyes.

"This is our Alpha Hongjoong, the taller ones are Yunho and Mingi, Seonghwa, Yeosang, Wooyoung and our youngest Jongho." The one who laughed was Wooyoung.

"It's funny to see hyung so whipped." Wooyoung was one of the the boys that didn't meet his mate yet, so he found funny how mates seemed hypnotized by each other.

"I bet you will be worse when you meet your mate, Wooyoung." Hongjoong said laughing at the thought, knowing Wooyoung was already clingy with the members of the pack and everybody agreed. You were happy to see that everyone in San's pack had a light spirit and good sense of humor.

"Well, let's eat? I'm starving." The youngest said between them.

"Chicken!" Yeosang smelled chicken from afar and started walking in front of them. San squeezed your hand and led you inside the restaurant.

|•••••••••••••••|

Finishing lunch you pulled at the hem of San's shirt to get his attention and he immediately looked at you, passing a hand on your shoulder and bringing you to peck your cheek.

"San, will you come home with me?" You asked him quietly, wanting to have time alone with your new found mate, which quickly accepted.

"Guys, we'll be going first." San told them already getting up from his seat and pulling your bag on his shoulder, you following after saying your byes.

"Don't forget to use protection!" Yunho said before you two were far, receiving a slap from Hongjoong and making the others snicker.

San drove you to the other side of the city where your pack belong, holding your hand while you guided him. Your fellow friends were surprised to see you with company, but were quick noticed it was your mate by the way he held you and the cute smile on your faces. Getting inside the house, the two of you left shoes and bags at the door while your inner wolf was screaming for you to pounce on him.

"We have the next 3 or 4 hours to ourselves before the girls come back.. I want to confess something before we go to my room." You said nervously picking on your fingers and San frowned, petting your hair to try and calm you down.

"You can tell me anything, baby" You lay your hands on his chest looking up to his brown eyes.

"I have plushies in my bed.." You broke eye contact to look at his broad shoulders not for long until he held your chin up to look at him again.

"No need to be ashamed for that. Wanna know why?" You nodded at his questions and he brought his face closer to your neck, whispering the next words.

"I have plushies too." He smiled looking back at your surprised face.

"Really?"

"Really, I'll show them to you anytime or even bring them here so they can be friends." He showed his dimples and you smiled too, touching his cheeks with the tip of your fingers, happy to be surrounded by his warmth.

"I'm so glad that you're here.."

"Me too, I've been waiting for so long to find you." He rested his forehead on yours and closed his eyes.

"Please mark me.." You voiced your desire before being able to control your words, your inner wolf excited to finally get into action while San's wolf was also happy to oblige to his instincts, bringing you up to wrap your legs on his waist and followed your scent around the house to find your room. He placed you down in the middle of your bed and you pulled him for a heavy kiss, trying to cease any little distance and soon San was leaning down to kiss and bite your neck, all the clothes coming off one by one until you were both naked and exposed.

"You look so perfect, love.." San kissed down your throat, collarbones, chest and everywhere he could till reaching your core, inhaling your arousal and held your thighs apart, connecting his lips onto you. Every bit of self control he had until now we're thrown out the window as he eats you out, driven by your wetness, moans and the way you pulled on his hair so deliciously. His tongue moved fast and strong, giving you waves of pleasure and he felt delighted for making you feel good. You were almost there and tapped on his shoulder, making him look up.

"San please.. I want to cum with you.." Your legs twitched and he stopped, sitting up and lifted a hand to clean his lips, licking the wetness on his fingers at the same time he stroked his hard on, getting closer to you once more and positioning you in dog style and making himself comfortable behind you on your center. He pushed in slowly to not hurt you and when he finally got it in you listened to the deep growl coming from his chest as he bottomed out and soon his pace speeding up gradually, making you get louder and louder.

"Can I?" He whispered nuzzling under your ear and you knew he was talking about the mark, wanting to hear you say it again.

"Yes, make me yours." He let out a low groan, brushing your hair out of the way and planting his fangs in the space between your shoulder and neck, creating the mark only mates could to seal the bond. It gave you both a rush of adrenaline and happiness that caused you goosebumps, your scents getting mixed in the air, sharing the warmth and fondness of each other and it made you cum faster, squirming under his hold for a few seconds as he continued to thrust in and out until he reached his own climax, knotting you and having the two of you stuck together for the next minutes.Soon he laid you down in a spoon position and pulled you in for a kiss, letting you taste yourself on his tongue.

"This is the best day of my life." He giggled a little breathless, his chest shaking against your back you smile at the feeling, scooting impossibly closer to him.

"I can't believe you're real."

"I'm very real." He squeezed your hip and you hide your face on your pillow with a laugh.

"Do you to go for a run later?" You asked curious to see his wolf form.

"Oh yeah, I bet you're the prettiest wolf ever."

"I bet it's you." You bicker playfully and San covers your face in kisses, tickling your sides.

#linawritings #ateez masterlist #ateez reactions #ateez fluff #ateez x reader #ateez smut #ateez warewolf au #ateez san #choi san x reader #san fluff #san x reader

270 notes · View notes

zutaraplatter · 3 years

Text

Avatar: The Last Airbender Critique

There are already a million of posts like this one, and I might be saying things that’ve already been said a million times but I’ve recently become reheated about the ATLA ending and wanted to let it out -_- No one asked, this is true, and this may or may not be a way to stall from this final project I still have to complete, but here’s 10 things I didn't like and/or would change about the show that likely shouldn’t need changing because they should have been done in the first place.

1. Katara should have apologized to Sokka after TSR

It should have happened and it didn't. In my canon-avoiding mind, Katara and Sokka have a heartfelt conversation where she apologizes for the awful things she said, Sokka says he forgives her and he's sorry if he wasn't as there for her as much as he should have been, which he follows up with "but I'm happy you listened to Aang and took his advice," leading into my next point

2. Katara should have said that not killing Yon Rha was her choice

And thats why it was the right one. Not because Aang already said it was wrong. No no. It was the right choice because that's what she chose. I love my mom to death and can't imagine losing her in any way, let alone the way Katara did. And I can't say for sure that if I was in her shoes that I know what I would have done f that yes I do I would have killed that motherfucker. But I also know that if Katara decided not to kill him, then that was one of two correct choices because they were Katara's choices to make. Not Aang's or anyone else's and this should have been clarified. I know it's a kids show but I said what I said. Next point.

3. Katara should have said more after telling Aang she was unsure at the Ember Island Players

Katara hasn't had any trouble saying how she feels, especially when it comes to helping others and making them feel better, whether she was right or wrong. But she holds back or overly softens blows and seems to even shrivel up at times when it comes to Aang. And me no likey. I had a boyfriend who I adored and admired and just genuinely looked up to. I'm also a shy and anxious person who hates confrontation, but because I loved him, I never refrained from telling him when he was wrong. I might have been a little shaky about it but I did it tho because when you want to be with someone you walk through the grass and stomp through the mud. And I personally feel like either in that moment or later on in an added scene that Katara should have voiced to Aang how unheard and disrespected she felt about his words before TSR and his actions on the balcony. I hate being uncomfortable and my secondhand embarrassment is toxic but I would love to see a scene of this. I always imagined Katara saying stuff like "But I'm not you Aang, and I'm not an Air Nomad," or "Zuko could understand why I needed to go, and I'd hoped you would too," or...I'm out of ideas but you get the idea. And you know what, I know I'm a hard Zutara shipper, but them having this conversation would honestly make me respect their relationship a whole lot more should it be believably written to end on a good note (I don't see how it could be but hey I'm an open minded person and I did think they were cute together once upon a time). Basically, all I'm saying is that Katara is no small voice and she should have been written that way when with Aang. Boyfriends can make you shy but should never make you weak. Period. Next point.

4. No rock! ONLY GROWTH!!!!!!!!!!!

I still squint my eyes whenever I remember that rock that unblocked Aang's chakra. What even was that? The laziest writing possible in my opinion. That's what. And Aang deserved better. What should have happened should have been that Aang started to lose to Ozai. And then as Ozai's about to deliver the finishing blow, Aang has flashbacks of everyone he's trying to save and honor, ending with a very prominent flashback of Katara with the guru's disembodied voice reminding Aang to let go of his attachments to become all he needs to be...then BOOM! Baby boy is back on his feet, chakra unblocked, he kicks Ozai's ass, I'm crying hysterically on the floor, as are the rest of us, and he wins. Then at the end of the series, instead of a kiss, he gives Katara an apology. She accepts, everyone else comes to join them on the balcony, cinematic group hug, camera pan into the sun. I don't know lol. Basically what I'm saying is that Aang did not deserve some deus ex machina. He deserved to grow and become his best self like everyone else got to.

5. Aang should have heard differently in The Storm

Katara is a very fate-minded person and this is when I saw potential for her to become a toxic character in regards to Aang. When he admits that he ran away from home 100 years ago, Katara tells him that that was basically a good thing because he was meant to be here and now. Like...no? What Aang did, though understandable for someone so young, was still wrong. Yes he would have maybe been killed but I'm like 10000000% sure they had a plan to protect and evacuate the literal avatar. And what was technically "meant to be" was a new avatar. But hey, what's done is done and kicking Aang while he's down is a no-no in this household. But that doesn't change the fact that Aang needed and deserved honesty. Maybe the fisherman could have said this, I don't know, but I feel like Aang should have been told by someone that although running away was wrong, it's a blessing he and Appa were able to survive and be able to help save the world now with his amazing friends found-family. Maybe this is too harsh, and maybe even outright wrong, but I felt like Aang deserved a truer answer here to support and comfort him.

6. MAILEE!!!!

Do I even need to go into detail?

7. Spiritual sigh*

Don't make me go into detail -_- I will say though that although Aang and Katara are both amazing individuals capable of earth shattering things, they were not a healthy fit for one another. This is evident in the original series and especially in their children from LOK. They both deserved the best but better than one another.

8. ZUTARAAAAAAA

This is a Zutara blog you KNEW this was coming, as it should. There's just too much. There's too damn much. I would give a real paragraph to this too, but, I mean, there's already so much proving that this was the pair. Fics, metas, rants, this site. Scroll through my blog or any of the ATLA related blogs I follow and...dude. These two were meant to be together and I'll mourn the narrative brilliance WASTED for no good reason every day for the rest of my life. No reason these two shouldn't be married with three kids. sob. I will take this part to say thank you to the amazing fic writers that gave Katara, Zuko, Mai, and Aang what they deserved that the writers didn't have the guts to give them themselves. Next point tho.

9. AANG AND ONJI

Good God almighty. Why not this? WHY NOT THIS? I'm putting on my bullet proof vest and I'm going to say this; Aanji is cuter than Zutara. Now before you scorn me or whatever, let me explain. Zutara for me is like steak. No. Chicken parmesan. I like chicken parmesan better. The point though is that Zutara is savory. You know? I don't see them as cute, I see them as Obviously. Aanji on the other hand is like a bag of my favorite candy. They are like a brownie. A cookie. Girl Scout Samoas!...I don't know what words are anymore. This post got way out of hand. I guess what I'm saying is that for Zutara, I scream, but for Aanji, I squeal. I hope that makes sense. But here's the main point I want to make. Onji never knew who Aang really was. And Aang was always, at his core, himself. She very obviously had a crush on Aang for his personality and that was crazy cute and frankly preferable to Katara's "I...guess he is." (you know exactly what I'm talking about) Anyway, I kept wanting more of them together. I wish all the time that we'd gotten to see her again, with a more fleshed out character and all. And in the way that I imagine the show should have gone, she could have been the perfect love interest for Aang, during this episode or way later, even in the comics! Another WASTED opportunity for greatness and I will, again, never recover T-T

10. Iroh get your ass back here

Maybe this is a misguided critique but I hated that Iroh just left Zuko alone in the fire nation at the end of the series. Baby was in trouble in every sense of the word and Iroh was just like "See ya! You got this nephew." I'm expected to believe that? I'm expected to accept that? No no no. He should have at least stayed for a few years to help Zuko stay upright and, you know, alive. And by "upright" I don't mean "good." I just mean been there to support him because Lord knows he needed it, at least in the beginning of his reign. It was cute that Iroh was able to settle down with his own teashop after all those years of violence and mourning and running and this and that. I was more than happy for him for being able to have that peace finally. But I still think it could have waited a little while longer so he could support Zuko.

That's it I guess. I know not everything I've said makes the most sense in one way or another, but I enjoyed putting it together all the same. Thank you for reading and have a great day. I'll go finish my final now.

(Edited for a typo)

#zutara #katara #aang #aanji #avatar the last airbender #uncle iroh #onji #on ji #Im wasting more time with these tags #avatar the last airbender critique #avatar critique #mai #avatar mai #ty lee #avatar ty lee #tylee #avatar tylee #the southern raiders

172 notes · View notes

ungodlydandelion · 2 years

Text

"So in comparison to normal, would you say you are depressed?" The new psychiatrist asks.

My normal is depressed. My normal is self-shrinking. My normal is fear. My normal is hiding. I have already explained this. What do I know of normal? How could I know? I'm in a better place than I've ever been. I don't have a "normal" yet.

"So was school your safe place, away from family? A lot of people with family issues find school to be safe and comforting."

My rapist went to my school and my mother worked there. So no. It wasn't. I didn't have my own room. There was no working lock on the bathroom door, but that was probably safest. I tried to kill myself in there a couple times. Stopped so as to not upset my brother. Did you not read those intake forms you made me fill out? I already said that.

"Did you ever get justice?"

I break a little. I laugh. Of course not. I didn't know what consent was. I only knew I was tainted. I failed. My friends blamed me for not fighting back hard enough (I ran, I hid, I cried, I said no - none were enough). My family yelled at me for existing sadness. I only told them once I'd moved out at 19.

"Did you get justice at 19, then?"

Who would believe me? Have you seen the Kavanaugh case? I have no evidence. Have you gone through years upon years of listening to your parents talk about how most rape victims are just liars looking to ruin men's lives? Years of them explaining to you that consent is liberal bullshit? Have you lost friends because they took his side in the breakup? Do you understand what it's like being raised a christian girl with no purity?

Wake up and smell the chicken shit. Reality is not just. You do not live in a just world. There is no justice here. Why would you even think that, much less fucking ask?

My story will not give you closure. My story is not clear cut. My story is messy and ugly and depressing. My story is not a fairy tale or a mystery novel. The plot holes go unfilled. The hero has cPTSD. I am real. This is real life.

"Well I can't tell what's hurting your concentration. It could be anything."

From a one hour explanation of my life story where you have no idea what to ask? Obviously not. People like me don't get help from people like you; it is painfully obvious you have no idea what to do with me. You are shocked and appalled by my normal.

But of course. I knew that. I know what happens to people like me. I've seen it. It's all around you. In the grocery store. At the bar. In an alley. Hidden behind a high school. Sitting against a bathroom door. I see it everywhere. You can't seem to see it.

Let me guess. It will be a thousand dollars for you to insult, trigger, and not help me?

I am sick of medical professionals.

#exchristian #text #religious trauma #ex christian #angry #red hot rage #medical malpractice

17 notes · View notes

purplerose244 · 3 years

Text

My thoughts on Seabound!!! 🌊🌊🌊 (4/4)

Here we are! What a journey, and while perhaps this season wasn't at MoM level it was REALLY good, with great new villains/allies, great little throwbacks and an awesome story! 🤩

How to get this was very good to great? Give me a very good ending Seabound!! 💕💕

Alright, here we go!

GENERAL THOUGHTS

I genuinely got too much into this remaining four episodes and forgot to put any general thoughts 😅 So you'll see me rambling at the end, see you there 😉

THE CALM BEFORE THE STORM

This title really summarize my feelings so far, like, I'm seriously wondering how it will move on from now, but I do expect the outcome to be CRAZY 🤯

Aaahhhh, yep, the one in Shintaro is a fake 😅 I wonder when did the change happen? How did Kalmaar pulled that off, wow

I'M SORRY WHY ARE WE PUTTING THE TITLE SCREEN WITHOUT THE INTRO?? THAT'S A FIRST EPISODE STUFF AND IT HONESTLY SCARES ME??? It reminds me of Winds of Change too and that episode was WOW 😭😭😭

Heeeeyyy, it's youuuu... huh... *watch scribble on hand* google snake guy, huh... Glucose... yep, good old Glutine and everything 😅

Are we having a "I may have made a mistake being evil" with this guy?

Jay: ah, Prime Empire! I was in that game you know! I fought for my life and the ones of all of Ninjago and I've seen my best friends and the love of my life die before my eyes... good times 🙂

Jay and Nya having fun at DDR has to be one of my favorite thing, they are so in sync and so lovable ❤💙❤💙

DID THEY ACTUALLY PUT THE JAYA SHIP NAME INTO THE SHOW??? OMG GUYS THE FANDOM IS TAKING OVER THE SHOW AT LAST!!! 🤯🤯🤯 The electric Jaya, heeeyy, niiicee 😎😎😎

HOW CUTE CAN YOU BE

MY SHIP 💙❤💙❤ They even gave each other high gives... this is neat, and it means something awful will happen right 🙂

Commissioner: he's saying something about a giant snake... and the end of the world... didn't we already have something like that?

Okay yep, he did the trick while fighting Nya, dang Kalmaar is sneaky! Not too shabby... but I gotta say, the summoning of the Great Devourer was a lot more dramatic 🤣🤣 Props to the serpentine, still my favorite snakes 💪💪

Wojira seems to be a little smaller than the Devourer maybe? His head way bigger than the bounty, while hers is not that massive even in comparison with Kalmaar

I might be wrong but at first glance, I stand by my opinion and by the superiority of the OG giant snake 🤷‍♀️

Yep Glutine guy did have a change of heart, better late than never 🤷‍♀️

You're telling me that Jay doesn't do engineering anymore, okay... HOW IS KAI A BETTER SOLUTION??? 🤣🤣🤣 Lol look at the messy brothers, love Lloyd and Kai so much I miss them interact 💚❤💚❤

Thank you Kelly for the alert 😗

It makes me wonder if they actually do have simulations of evacuations often, it would be pretty smart considering the city 🤷‍♀️

OKINO IS THERE HI DUDE!!! 😍 I hope he's doing great! 🥰🥰

Gail Gossip! Been a while!

WOW, this is going Deluge like, my first Spinjitzu Master! 😱 How... how do we go with three episodes from here? Like, I'm guessing Nya will have to do what Nyad did before her (which TERRIFIES me), so are they going to struggle trying to find another way? IDK BUT I'M IN LET'S GO!! 🤯

ASSAULT ON NINJAGO CITY

Alright, pretty straightforward title, let's see what we got here!

Tourists?... that actually makes sense, I mean, I would want to visit all the places where history was made on this island 😍 Aww nice to see they remember the battle against Garmy of Hunted, also that it is known that Jay was the one who faced Unagami 👍👍

DARETH!!! 🤎🤎🤎

Where have you been you knucklehead, I've missed you! 💕 I think I've last seen him in a commercial from the Fire Chapter?

This is a terrible guide 😵 Not knowing the brown ninja? Owner of the dojo the Green Ninja had trained in? Brief commander of the Stone Army? Master of makeup and puffy potstickers? Unforgivable, someone fire this woman ASAP 😡😡

LOOK AT DARETH TAKING CHARGE!!! 🤩 He's right, he should get involved every once in a while, come on guys!

Ah okay good, I'm not the only one struggling with that google snake name 😂

Yay Bentho is fully integrated with the team! He is a great addiction, like, I know he'll probably take the throne at the end or something but I do hope we'll need his help again in the future! 💙

Sometimes I forget how much I love Kai and Zane interacting 🤣 The brainiac and the airhead 🤍❤🤍❤

Oh right, Cole came back from Shintaro! So... now in this extremely secret city there is a fake amulet hanging into a highly secured place... how is it always Shintaro the keeper of flukes? 😂😂

A bath as a boat but it has a whole 😂😂 I love this show's randomness

What ears are they supposed to cover 😅

I LOVE THIS ATMOSPHERE!!! 😍😍😍 Between the gray sky of storm and the sea underneath, this is the perfect scenario for Wojira and it's not even forced! I love how they are handling backgrounds for Ninjago recently, I really hope it gets as good as in the finale of Prime Empire 💙💙💙

AAAAAAHHHHHhhhhh okay for a moment I was scared Wojira was going to eat Jay 😅 After The Island this is already the second time Bluebell risks it... STOP

WHY THE CLIFFHANGER!?!?

NUUUUU WHAT NOW??? 😱😱😱 We have two more episodes, how is this going to end? I DON'T KNOW AND I REALLY WANT TO PLEASE GIVE ME A GOOD FINALE SEABOUND!!! 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️

NYAD

I AM SCARED FOR MY WATER LILY OKAY

Daaaang she can just float on that? She got super good at controlling water! Now I want her and Kai just randomly flying around with their powers 😂😂 Kai got missiles in his hands come on 🔥🔥🔥

JAY CAN YOU LET ME WORRY ABOUT YOU GUYS ONE AT THE TIME??? 😱

What would Kai do? WHAT WOULD KAI DO?? DID YOU DECIDE YOU WANT TO DIE JAY WHY WOULD YOU THINK OF HIM??? ... although technically Kai is the only one with Jay who didn't straight up die before coming back to life in a dramatic moment... huh... Kai might be the most reasonable choice after all 😅

We grew up from Ninja never quit to NINJA AREN'T IDIOTS AND KNOW WHEN TO GET THE HECK OUT 😎😎 Even our motto got a character development 💪

JAY NOOOOOOOO 😱😱😱😱

BENTHO YAAAAAAASSSS 🥳🥳🥳🥳 Did I ever say that I love shark boy? BECAUSE I FREAKING DO!! 💙

Master prankster Wu once again, take that empty ship Calamari head 😎 Although the poor bounty doesn't deserve to get destroyed as many times as it did until now, it's my favorite ship... pun intended 😜

Ah more ninjajan, wait a moment

"Auto Pilot". Fair enough, although I was hoping for a "psych" or something 😂😂

NO WAIT NO WHAT THE HECK!!! I THOUGHT JAY GOT SAVED HE INHALED WATER??!? BLUEBELL NOOOO!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

But Cole running to his best friend immediately? HECK yes 🖤💙🖤💙

NYA CARRYING HER BOYFRIEND BRIDAL STYLE THIS IS THE RIGHTEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN!!! ❤💙❤💙❤💙❤💙 Gosh this season gave me amazing Jaya moments, I've been fed 👌👌

Okay Lloyd pacing back and forth? Kai already mad at their enemies? All the guys eager to help Jay? MY FAVORITE NINJA FAMILY BABY!!! 😎😎

I NEED A MOMENT 😭

Oh... oh gosh I knew Nya doing the Nyad thing was meant to happen, but this way? My heart is melting already 😭

I remember a post that said that Jay told Nya that he loves her many times, while she never did. Tommy reponded that she lets her actions speak... boy do I see it now, I see all of her love 😢😢

I never felt such conflicting emotions for a villain like I do for Kalmaar, like, he caused so much pain to Nya... but he is voiced by Giles... but he is the reason Jay is hurt... but that startle gag 😂😂😂

Okay this? Is adorable?

What the HECK? The police in this city is generally not very helpful, but the Commissioner is very wholesome 💜

Nyaaaaaaa 😭😭😭😭 I didn't think it was possible to love her even more, she was ignored for so long during the show, but now we finally see all of her. She is an amazing warrior, a selfless person, and a real hero 💪💪 And coming from such a mature girl that doesn't like to act irrationally, this means so much more

Jaya grew up so much, it went through some very questionable phases yes, but what they have here? It's the result of all they had lived together 💙❤💙❤

I have chills, this is amazing so far, I'm legit scared of going further 😱

SHE SAID IT!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭 Okay this moment, everything, EVERYTHING, is absolutely marvelous. Nya said I love you without a voice, alone, showing again that she values the actions more, but still her feelings are 100% truthful. Then the transformation (THERE IT IS HER BEAUTIFUL WATER FORM 😍😍😍), Jay getting saved, the realization of what she just did from everyone... DANG IT IT'S ALL BEAUTIFUL HOW LONG DID IT TAKE TO THINK OF THIS SCENE???

*slow clap for Bragi, Tommy, and the Ninjago crew*

Jay and water Nya with their hands together gives me big The Form of Water vibes... LOVE THAT MOVIE WHO'S READY FOR AN AU??

Jay wants to help her, I had no doubt 💙 They always help each other in these BOUNDs seasons 😍😍😍

Kalmaar: where are the ninja??

Commissioner: I don't know, they are ninja!

FINAL BATTLE INCOMING AAAAHHH I HOPE THIS WILL HAVE A GOOD ENDING OMG BRING IT!!! 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩

THE TURN OF THE TIDE

Oh, curious title? It feels a little vague, I don't really know what it could be

YES GIRL GO GET HIS CALAMARI BUTT HECK YES!!! Just how cool can you be for walking slowly while the attacks go straight through you? 😂

Hey Nya still recognizes Jay! 😃😃

HEY NYA GOT VAPORIZED WTH 😱😱 It's too early, I don't believe that's it!

WHOA JAY WENT BERSERK JUST NOW!! I don't think I've seen this before, this is the coolest thing! 💙💙💙 I just love when he shows how strong he is, you can be a comic relief AND kick butts 😎

FIGHTING ANIMATIONS MAN I LOVE THESE SCENES!! 😍😍😍

What the- was... was that a cameo of the lightning chicken? Ninjago what the HECK I love your randomness 😂😂

BENTHOMAAR TAGS IN!!! Showing off why he is best boy of the season 💙 These fightings are very cool but I can't help imagining Wojira just chilling while there are midgets getting very angry at each other onto her head 🤣🤣🤣

WHOA, CALAMARI BITE! Kalmaar got the Pythor treatment... might change color by next season if he returns 😅

(Please return I loved having Giles' voice in this season 💙💙💙)

NYA IS A DRAGON!!! I REPEAT NYA IS A DRAGON!!! 😍😍😍😍😍😍 I was wondering where the dragon moment was, this is Ninjago after all 🤷‍♀️

Head empty, just Jay smiling softy at Nya because he loves her 💙💙💙

IT'S RAINING NYA, HALLELUIA IT'S RAINING NYA, HEYE!! ☔☔☔ This fight is MASSIVE! We had finales with big creatures before but now one of the ninja is big enough to face them and that's 🤯

NYA DID IT!!! 🤩🤩🤩 ... now onto the angst that I KNOW it's coming

Kai being unbelieving is tragic, and Jay's "don't leave me" broke my heart. Please end this misery, where is the deus ex machina that solves everything?

Wait she left?

...

WAIT SHE ACTUALLY LEFT??? WHAT THE HECK THEY AREN'T ENDING IT LIKE THIS

...

OH MY GOSH

ARE THEY?!?

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯

Omg the grief in this is beautiful, nice to see Jay and Maya so close to each other! Also Kai leaning onto his mom while Cole is comforting his best best friend? Amazing, they really do these scenes great 👌

EVERYONE SHOWED UP I LOVE THIS CITY SO MUCH 😭😭😭 Aww Ed and Edna, wasn't this such a sad situation I would be so much happier to see you guys 🥺

Master Wu even mentioned that she built Samurai X, you really want to make me cry now do you? 🥺🥺

MAYA AND RAY 😢😢😢😢😢😢

Omg look at Cole being there for his best friend, he is amazing 🖤💙🖤💙

I have such Rebooted vibes from this... is it hopeful? That Nya comes back like Zane? She's no nindroid but still... oh my gosh they got her symbol on the vase I just noticed, I need more tissues 😭😭

"In loving memory of Kirby Morrow". Always in our hearts 🖤🖤🖤

...

Wow

WOW

THEY ACTUALLY DID IT I NEED ANOTHER MOMENT 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 WHAT IN THE WORLD THIS IS THE BIGGEST CHANGE THEY DID IN A WHILE!!!

AND NOW WHAT??? 🤯🤯🤯

FINAL THOUGHTS

I'm speechless... like that's true, have A LOT to write over here 😅

This type of plot twist reminds me of our early seasons. Zane sacrificing himself, Garmadon giving up his life, those moments that made me so curious and excited about the following. I have no idea what will be the outcome for this, but I can't wait to find out

With that out of the way, AMAZING SEASON 😍😍😍 I think this finale beats MoM's, just because it was really unexpected and opens up a SEA of possibilities... yeah too soon 😭

I'm still shaken, my world, they did something HUGE and I do hope it will be a good shake to the entire Ninjago plotline. Nya is "gone", we still don't know about the person behind all that vengestone, we haven't heard from Garmy in forever, there are so many good ideas out there now that they've set the ground for more 🤩🤩

Voice acting was *chef's kiss*, not only for the villain which I already stressed enough about, I think Kelly reached a new level of emotional intimacy with Nya and I'm so happy she showed her skills 💜💜

Animation is TOP, there's little to no point into saying anything else since they showed it very clearly in the latest season ☺

This was the emotional, witty and engaging writing I was looking for! Good jokes, meaningful dialogues, emotional scenes, everything was really good and I'm gonna rewatch some scenes especially for that 😍

It turned out having Maya and Ray back was kind of a distraction to fool us all 😅😅 Well played actually, and it was very cool seeing them again in any case 🙋‍♀️

And now? Jay lost his love, I have no idea if the show will work on him getting over her or hold onto her memory (thinking of Jay probably the latter, although I do think that handling the first would be an interesting idea). KAI LOST HIS SISTER 😢😢😢 I have no doubt he's gonna beat himself up for it, like he did when Zane was gone too. Everyone lost their friend, she had become such a vital part of the team and now she is not here anymore it will be hard...

They are back with the four plus one green savior formation, I sincerely don't know how I feel about that 😅 I'm always happy when we get the OGs, but this is about going on without Nya... maybe Skylor will be called? Or Pixal will be more active? That could be interesting to see, who knows 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Gosh, how are they going to handle the next season? It will have to give A LOT of answers to the millions questions we all have right now. Man I can't wait, it could be anything!!! This is a Ninjago revolution!

But if I have to mention a little complain, and I'm a fangirl so I absolutely have to, Kai didn't show much of a reaction to Nya's "departure". Okay, she didn't straight up die like in Skybound (I'm gonna fear all BOUND seasons from now on 😱), but he's her brother and he loves deeply his family. Either we're gonna see him go all out next season, or the writers really did only focus on Jaya. A tiny bit salty... but you got me a fantastic finale so I'll move on 👍

Outstanding, I'm blown away. Whenever I think I'm used to this show they do stuff like this. I'm so glad and sad you guys 😅 But mostly happy that despite everything I still get very strong emotions while I watch this long time favorite show of mine 💜💜💜

What else can I say at this point? ONTO NEXT SEASON!!! 🤩🤩🤩

Thank you for reading me freaking out over LEGO spinning ninja as always! It helps me calm down but this time it might be harder thant the others... *sobs*

I need to lay down and process all of this, I'll be on my way 😂😂 BYE!!! 💜

85 notes · View notes