#im enjoying just doing little portraits these days it helps me practice
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gwens and an elyan
#me when siblings with silly little capes/hoods <3333333#merlin#bbc merlin#guinevere pendragon#sir elyan#bbc elyan#gwen purple cape is its own character#my art#im enjoying just doing little portraits these days it helps me practice
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@butterfly-mochi Rewrote this freaking thing thrice because it keeps getting deleted wth tumblr agjvahkfajkvk- I enjoyed writing it a lot tho and since I’m too weak to the characters I ended up writing for all of them (except for Sucrose, im sorry bb huhu, I ran out of brain power). This is my first time writing for so many of them in one go so please excuse me for any mistakes or blandness ywy thank you for letting me write for my baby Ganyu too hhhhh
Universe Reversal 2
Genshin Impact Character Reader and Modern Players with Zhongli, Childe & Ganyu (how they simp for you) (event masterlist / Part 1 / Part 3)
Zhongli the F2P
The most relatable out of the bunch because this man is still broke and can only rely on the primogems he can farm. And he had a LOT. The one thing he doesn’t have a lot on, however, is his luck.
So how did he manage to pull you?: Well after exhausting all his primogem on your banner with nothing but weapons and other characters, he has lost his resolve. But by some weird luck, there was a character bug that was fixed and in his email was the almighty consolation primogem. Enough for ONE pull. And by the Gods he FINALLY got you.
He’d nonchalantly post his screenshot of pulling you using a single acquaint fate in his friend group without any words and everyone else just loses their shit. “You got them in one pull?!” “Yeah” A riot.
This was partnered with the fact that not only is Zhongli an F2P player, but also barely has any five star characters.
He looks calm and apathetic over the news, but behind the screen he’s exhausted and relieved, silently livid.
He has no primogems left to squeeze for a constellation so you’re instead pampered with the best weapon suitable for you (because that’s all he keeps getting).
Zhongles spends most of his time farming for materials to quickly level you up, unlocking all your stories and voiceline, but he fucked up on your build (his artifacts are messy).
He follows communities, forums and videos regarding your character to know all the things he needs to perfect your build. You can barely make a dent against normal mobs, so he knew he was doing something VERY wrong.
Is the type of person to keep refreshing the page for new content, very updated.
Ask him a question about your character and he’s gonna bring you the word vomit that is his research. He’s not gonna stop- probably accidentally developed a copypasta for you.
Also follows your VA in both Tiktok and Twitter to indulge in every bit of content. He also has that screenshot of his pull saved and locked.
On his birthday, a friend of his gifted him a chibi plushie of you and he has treasured it ever since, treating and handling it like its a figurine.
“It is merely pure luck and grace from the gacha gods that I got this character, and I will make sure that they know I am very grateful for this fortune.”
Favorite Voiceline: Birthday Message
Childe The Whaler
This lucky wealthy bastard with no remorse for his money whales for EVERY character. He’s making a collection, which is to get all the characters, especially the five stars. So when your banner finally popped up, he’s gonna square up and trigger a whole ass meteor shower.
How he pulled you: Money. His luck with this games are actually not the best so he always compensates with money, he got you halfway through the first failed pity, almost giving him a heart attack that he might actually break the bank just to get you.
And then he pulls more to raise your constellation lol.
The first thing he does is look over your character info and read through it all; constellation infos, your base stats, artifact compatibility.
At the end when he’s maximized everything, he would then focus on playing around with your character *coughs climbing noises coughs*
He thought you’d just be another part of his collection but playing with your character was very enjoyable and in-line with his playstyle- oops 100 screenshots with the Kamera-
Any and all merchandise that he fancies would be his, and he’s definitely flexing it to the other sweetie nerds who call themselves simps. He’s fighting for the simping title, and he’s currently neck and neck with this fanartist in Pixiv.
Speaking of that fanartist, he definitely commissioned an expensive and detailed portrait of you, full rights and everything. No one else was allowed to use it but him.
Was also the first one with the audacity to call out your VA to create an account on Tiktok to create more content with your voice. He was successful.
His obssession also comes in the form of self-indulgent contents, and had been keeping track of the ship wars happening. During conventions, he cosplays as the character shipped with you the most (or the character he thinks should end up with you).
Silently scrutinizing those who cosplay you, only ever taking pictures with/of the best looking one, sorry haha
Definitely flaunts that you are his waifu/husbando and will fight for best girl/best boy during debates or polls. Has mobilized the community to vote for you once. He’s very persuasive.
“Hm? Why I’m just the best collector in the game, and I am more than happy to let everyone know that I am their number one fan haha, everyone who claims otherwise is definitely wrong!”
Favorite Voiceline: More About (Y/N) I-IV, (Y/N)’s Hobbies...
Ganyu the Employed
Ganyu, our dearest overworker, is one of the players in the older stage who actually has a job but still plays Genshin for their past times. The gorgeous sceneries and the music is her main focus in playing the game, not much of a try-hard but still decent in the combat mechanics.
How she pulled you: You came home within 50 pulls! And you appeared again after another 10 pull! Ganyu was so SHOOKT and so distressed because oh goodness, what does she do? She doesn’t know anything much about you!
Will rewatch your three trailers to try and understand your skills better, ended up saving the soundtracks from them because that was such a nice trailer music! Tnbee gains a new follower!
Ganyu will take a while before she can properly play or build you up because she’s so busy with work, she only ever plays when she feels fully done with her work.
During her break she plays with your character while multi-tasking on eating, earphones plugged in and sight on the phone as she farms materials and artifacts for you.
The moment she gets more help from her player friends tho, holy shit, you just ended up being so OP. She had so many good artifacts and weapons for you because she didn’t know what they were for before.
She loves how you’re so easy to use and can easily solo the enemies and even the boss fights. A huge breather, because now Ganyu can cheese the battles that takes a while, to give her more time to focus on the storyline and lores.
Since Ganyu plays for the story and aesthetic, she’ll find you almost always in her team. Still very proud of her pull, she makes the best screenshots of your fights or in the best angle through exploration.
Treasures you so much she starts talking to her phone- “Ah, no, please don’t fall.” “There’s violetgrass up there, let’s try and get it”
Blushes everytime you produce a sound when climbing, doesn’t change you anyways tho
Hums to your trailer music while working, and if permitted, would have the song on repeat while she buries herself in work. She finds it really refreshing and the time she spends in work miraculously flies by fast when she gets lost in the sound.
At one point, when she was given a day-off or if the convention was on her free time, she attends to look for cosplayers of you and take a picture. No one rejects her because she’s so adorable and cute when asking shyly.
Had brought a decent amount of merchandise, preferably the functional/practical ones like a phone cover, mug or keychain. Also has an earphones clamp with your little chibi self as the holder.
When asked, she would shyly announce that she likes your character the most.
“Their character theme and music really soothes me during work, it feels nice to have them, and I have not once regretted ever pulling for them. They are the best.”
Favorite Voicelines: Good Night/Afternoon..., About Us, Something To Share..., Interesting Things...
so enjoyable...
@moaa @zelos-simp @legionqueensav @dandelion-dreams @snackgod @rxsalinee
#genshin impact x reader#genshin impact#zhongli x reader#childe x reader#ganyu x reader#genshin impact zhongli#genshin impact childe#genshin impact ganyu#exile.circlet#exile.flower#sojourner specials#reeeeeeeeee#gender neutral
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Te amo
I am working on a few of the other prompts and a part 2 to prompt 4 the soulmate au I just recently got another puppy and I still have uni work to do so I'm a bit behind schedule with these and I'm so sorry. Hopefully this little kinda songfic makes up for it.
13th doctor x female reader
Warnings: swearing as usual, fluffy, sad thoughts, twist the original songs meaning, long as fuck.
Probably terrible as its my first songfic
I don't know much Spanish so some of the examples later on are Google translated and I know it can be wrong so I do apologise for any mistranslations
This is based off Rhiannas song Te Amo but I'm switching it up a little. I dont why 13th doctor came into my head when I was listening to it but it gave me this lil oneshot idea so enjoy! The picture is not mine but the rainbow effect added is done by me! Same for the picture later on.
I've been travelling with this amazing alien for a whole year now. The adventures are always amazing if she's there! The others sometimes complain and say its boring, especially on a junk planet but to see her face light up with excitement makes my day and it well worth the dirt we cover ourselves on by the time we are done. And when she finds something that she thought was useful and it turns out, it's not her scrunch is amazing.
Okay, I'll admit it. I'm in love with this alien. I know, weird, a human and an alien together? But I can't help it! I'm completely besotted with her. If she even looks in my direction, my legs go to jelly and I get butterflies. I know, cheesy. But thats exactly how I feel around her. I barely want to touch her because I nearly fainted the last few times. And I fear she may pick up on how I'm distancing myself from her. I don't want to break her heart and leave, the thought of her look kills me as is so I'm trying to get her to kick me off.
It doesn't seem to be working though. I've been distancing myself since I found out about how I feel, which is now 6 months ago and she's trying to get me to be as close as I was with her.
I'll tell her. On one of our amazing adventures but I can't do it straight forward, it's making me sick with anxiety just thinking about it. I'll fancy it up, make her work it out. Whenever we are next to each other and the moment is right, I'll tell her in another language!
I finally get out of bed after I finished writing in my diary. I slip some comfy clothes on and head out to the TARDIS library and hope no one is there, especially her. I'll be distracted and right now, I need to concentrate. I wonder the warm halls, grateful that the TARDIS had considered my preferences. I think the TARDIS likes me more than the others because I talk to her and show her gratefulness for taking us somewhere amazing and I chat to her regularly and I try to involve her in my conversations. The others find it weird, except for the Doctor, she just smiles and joins in with me. Im still learning how to translate her but I think I've sort of got it.
I reach my hand forward and grab the aged bronze doorknob and open to the giant room. There were so many floors that an elevator had to be used to access some of them as the Doctor said "walking would literally take weeks to reach some floors". Thankfully the TARDIS organises them to make them easier to find. I looked forward and saw an interactive map in front of me. My hands touched the screen and many subjects and categories came up. Anything ranging from kiddie tales to straight up smut, I have a feeling either River or Missy are to blame for that addition.
I've never met them but the TARDIS showed me videos from her database and brought books to my attention about them. They both seem very dirty minded people so I'm not surprised those are there. I wonder if the Doctor has ever stumbled upon this section or is it for none Doctor eyes only? If she does know about them, has she ever read one? No, don't go there you stupid brain! She probably doesn't know!
I quickly stop that train of thought and catch my breath. I've never thought about those kinds of things about anyone before. Stupid Timelord, making me go all weird and think dirty things. Now my face is all red, I really hope I'm alone in here. I quickly focus back to the task at hand, finding a new language to learn. The TARDIS seemed to know where to go and blue arrows appeared, guiding me to the right section in what could be a maze.
As I walking, I felt excitement rise within me. What if she felt the same way? What if she was impressed by how far I wanted to go just to say those 3 words? Would her hazel honey eyes sparkle with delight? Would she scronch her nose in amazement?
Before I knew it, I'd arrived at the language learning section and there were many alien languages but the TARDIS seemed to have a better idea of what would be perfect for me as a white hardback book fell off the 4th shelf onto the wooden floor. I picked it up and noticed how smooth the cover was and how old yet unused it looked. The white was a little off, almost a dull cream from ageing which made the gold writing harder to read. The title was simple:
Spanish basics and need to knows.
I did always find Spanish in school fun to learn, more than French or German anyway and I don't wanna stereotype this into a typical French is the language of romance. I never really found it romantic sounding compared to Spanish.
I picked up the book and quickly flicked through to the right page and took a note on my phone as to what the translation was and put the worn book away. I quietly thanked the TARDIS and rushed out of the library and back into my room where I could practice without getting caught.
A few weeks have passed since I picked up the new words and practiced them until I was confident and had the TARDIS' approval that I was saying it right. Today the Doctor wanted to take us to this party in the 18th century and we all decided to dress for the part once we landed.
Yaz was wearing a beautiful black and red ballroom gown, accented with little bows around the bottom and lace cuffs. She had her black hair curled into a ponytail. It was simple and cute, much like her style normally. Graham and Ryan wore similar suits but Graham wore green accents and Ryan wore yellow accents.
I let the TARDIS pick my dress. She picked a black and dark blue ballroom gown with blue roses on the bottom. It had black lace underneath and blue lace as the cuffs. The gown also seemed to glitter slightly in the light making me sparkle very subtly. I put my comfy boots on as you couldn't see my shoes as I walked anyway so why did it matter? With all the running we do, I'm not risking my ankles with heels, thank you very much. I had my (h/c) hair in (fave style). It suited my dress perfectly.
I nearly choked on oxygen when I saw how hot the Doctor looked in her suit. It took me a few moments to realise we match. We both blushed at the realisation. Of course the TARDIS makes us match! No wonder why she was more than eager to help me pick an outfit! Stupid sentient ship, shipping us already!
I quickly cleared my throat and complimented everyone on how amazing they looked but I just couldn't take my eyes off the Doctor for long. She was like a magnet for my eyes. Someone help before she realises!
"Don't we all look brilliant? Perfect for the party! 18th century Yorkshire to be exact! What a great century for you guys. Now then, this party is for Nobles and higher, as per usual in these times. Ryan, I suggest you keep in mind about any racist comments that may come out. But as long as you say your Graham's personal butler, you should be welcomed with little resistance. And Yaz, I want you to be (y/n)'s personal maid. That does mean you'll have to follow your so called "masters" around and do anything they ask unfortunately and Graham, (y/n), please act like the others around you and use them. Unfortunately this is the only way all 5 of us can join the party. You'll be fine as long as you bite your tongues. Now the Noble Edward Collins is the host so be sure to thank him for inviting you, even though you technically weren't. And try not to get too drunk, I know what you humans are like! Now follow me." The Doctor explained. I was going to tell the Doctor today, but I guess, I'll have to wait.
The Doctor opened the doors and we were in a cupboard under some gorgeous marble stairs. As we walked towards the party I noticed some family portraits along the walls. They were a very beautiful looking family. The mother had long blonde hair and pale blue eyes. The father was buff, long brown hair and daring brown eyes. There were two children, a girl and a boy. The girl had long brown hair and sparkling blue eyes, whilst the son had blonde hair and brown eyes. They also had a brown greyhound dog laying by the sons feet. The son must be the host, Edward. He looked not much older than 10 in the last painting but the daughter was no where to be found in the portrait and theu all looked mournful. Is she dead and is that the picture capturing the moment of grief? Why would anyone want that? It's so strange, even for this time period.
The Doctor held me and Yaz close, stopping us in our tracks. My heart was racing at the simple touch. But as soon as the touch was there, it was gone. "I hope its okay with you (y/n) but you're going to have to be married to someone."
My heart stopped for a moment and I nearly choked on air. "What? Why?"
"Because women like yourself would have been married as young as 13 or 14. Now your only choices are me and Graham. You can't choose Ryan as he's supposed to be a butler and you can't choose Yaz as she's your maid. The choice is yours, I just need to know wether or not I should refer to you as my darling wife or not?"
What. The. Fuck.
Why did her even calling me that l, turn me on? Obviously, I'm going to choose her but I'm going to have to perfect my reasoning here.
"As much as I love Graham, it's going to be awkward if I have to kiss him or anything because he's like my grandad! I guess you'll do Timelord. Come on then husband, we don't want to be late to the dancefloor!" I spoke clearly hoping she didn't notice how excited I actually was to have even a hint of a relationship with her. It may be fake but ill take anything when it comes to her.
We arrived at the welcome committee and handed our cards over, aka the psychic paper. We were going as Mr and Mrs (last name). The Doctor was holding my hand this entire time and it's driving me insane. I don't know if she can feel my racing pulse under her fingers but if she can I hope she puts it down to excitement! We walked down the most grandest staircase you would ever lay your eyes on.
First we walked around, greeting everyone as they came up to us or if she dragged me to someone she knew, but not personally. She was cute when she was fangirling over these people. Yaz found it annoying as she just wanted to party but I couldn't help it. The way her eyes shimmer with recognition was more beautiful than any galaxy she could ever take us. Sometimes her eyes flickered with admiration and it did make me have jealousy for just a moment before I remembered, I'm staying with her and they aren't .
As the party moved on we met the host Edward. He looked a lot different than in his paintings. He was around 20 years old now and his blonde hair was below his shoulders. He looked a lot like his father with his muscley build. And he was very charismatic which I did not like as he poured all his charm into the Doctor. Does everyone here know that he's gay or does he see through the Doctors disguise? Either way, it was rubbing me the wrong way. I quickly excused myself with Yaz and walked into the bathroom.
"I did not like him. I do not like this Edward guy. Something about him rubs me completely wrong. He's handsome but something is telling me he knows the Doctor isn't a man."
"I felt the same way. He knows something we don't. Before we go out there again, do you mind if I ask you a question?" Yaz asked. My mind was racing a hundred miles an hour. She knows. The jig is up with Yaz. "How do you feel about her, honestly? One minute you 2 are inseparable, then you distance yourself and now you are a nervous wreck around her! I won't judge but I just want to make sure my theory is correct."
Shit. I guess I really was obvious. Does she know?
"If your theory is about me falling hopelessly in love with the Doctor then you'd be correct. I can't help it. I'm going to tell her how I feel without being completely stupid. I just need a right moment to say it." I spoke with a heavy sigh. Hopefully, Yaz can help create that moment thay I need. She nods her head and opens the door. We walk back to the Doctor and notice Edward has gone to other guests and she was talking to Graham. I looked around and saw Ryan flirting with a pretty lady near the food table. Why am I not surprised?
A few hours had passed and the Doctor seemed bored with standing and talking so I made a plan in my head. I grabbed her hand and pulled her to the dancefloor as the next song came on. I didn't quite know how to dance properly but I knew the basics if it. She has to lead and I simply follow suit. It took a few moments but I got the hang of it with the Doctors help. Soon we were dancing so gracefully underneath the most beautiful candelabra that lit up her face perfectly.
Her hair swayed to our perfect dance ever so gently. Her eyes sparkled with amusement and her lips were in a permanent smile. She even laughed a couple of times. Then as the music slowed down to a pace that was perfect, I grabbed her waist and looked her. My heart was going crazy and my legs were about to buckle but I had rehearsed my lines. I can do this.
"Hey Doc. Its been an amazing time with you but I can't continue this without being honest with you. But everytime I get close, I back down in fear. So I'm going to let you figure it out. Doctora te amo. Entiendo que si no sientes lo mismo y me iré si quieres. (Doctor i love you. i understand if you don't feel the same way and i'll leave if you want.)" I spoke with as much passion and intention as I could. I looked into her eyes and saw her confused and trying to work out what I said. I would find it cute if my heart was beating right out of my chest. "Well, I've had a great time but I'm fucking knackered. I'm calling it night. I'll be heading to the TARDIS if you need me."
"I'll come with ya. I'm knackered as well and we both need each other to undo the corsets and mine is starting to hurt a little bit. How we used to do this for a full day, everyday, is beyond my understanding. As beautiful as we look, I don't think its worth the pain this will bring in the morning." Yaz spoke with a slight mumble as proof of her mental state and finishing with a yawn. I chuckled at her state and walked back to the TARDIS with a small amount of chat along the way.
She is right though. These corsets really do hurt you after a while, I'm glad I chose not to wear heels or else I'll be fucked for in the morning. I would literally scream. I think the Doctor had the right idea in wearing a suit, no pain. I do feel bad for leaving her but I just need some space after basically admitting everything that's been built up within me for too damn long. Maybe I should tell Yaz how it went and maybe she can help determine if the Doctor is happy or not.
We walked back into the wardrobe room and I helped Yaz out of her corset. She immediately sighed in relief. She finished getting herself into comfy clothes and started to untie my ribbon.
"So did you tell her?"
"Sort of. I basically told her everything but in Spanish. I just hope it doesn't change anything, except in a positive way, of course! If she wants me gone, I've told her that it's fine and I understand. She's very socially awkward and as cute as I find it, it may not help me in this situation. Do you have any clues on how she may react once she figures it out?"
Yaz stopped untying my corset for a moment and placed 1 finger upon her chin in thought. Her eyes were almost shut and seemed almost completely black in the light. After what seemed like forever, she took her finger off her chin and beamed a toothy smile. Her eyes sparkled as she remembered something and seemed to gleam slightly menacingly. A smirk replaced her smile soon after.
"There's a few times she's shown affection towards you. And I mean romantic affection. She always chooses to hold your hand over anyone else's if given the choice. She always steps I'm front of you when an enemy threatens to kill us all or hurt us in anyway. When you go wandering around on your own, she's terrified thats she's lost you forever to an enemy we don't even know of!" Yaz starts explaining carefully as if she's worried on how to word it.
"Those are just friendly affec-"
"I wasn't done. I was warming up." Yaz interrupts me as I was about to go into a self deprecating speech on how I'm just a friend to everyone and never a lover. "She always looks to see your face on adventures because she secretly loves your reactions, bad or good. When the Master revealed himself, she looked straight at you for support on how she should react. When she came back from the Kasavin, she ran straight to you and made sure you were ok first before any of us. When we were in the Tsungra medical ship, the first person she asked for was you! Whilst she was unconscious on board the ship, she kept mumbling your name, over and over again. When she saw how gorgeous you looked today, I thought she'd take you right there on the spot! She fucking loves you (y/n)! You're just so unbelievably blind to it all!"
Yaz was almost red with rage. Did she really do all that, for me? The TARDIS mustve read my mind and seemed to hum positively in reply. If everything Yaz said is true then she'll be so happy about it and maybe we can be a thing! But then again, maybe losing so many in a similar position as me will turn her away. Maybe her soul is awry and she's asking why right now.
Once I had gotten changed I went to sleep almost straight away, I suppose all that dancing and social ques having tired me out more than I thought.
I woke up to a soft knock on my door. I rubbed my (e/c) eyes and told them I'd be a few minutes as I've only just woken up. It wasn't until I finished brushing my (h/c) hair that I remembered what happened yesterday. All the panic rushed within me at once and I nearly threw up. I took several deep breaths and opened the door.
"GRAHAM THANK FUCK ITS YOU!" I almost shouted at him. He looked a little bewildered for a moment before he seemed to remember what brought him here in the first place.
"Hello Love, I'm here because Doc wanted to speak with you privately in the library. She says that the TARDIS will guide you to her location. She seemed a little off after you and Yaz left. Did something happen? Is everything ok?" Graham asked cautiously. He must be so confused.
"Sort of. I'll explain more when I get back but what do you mean by "a little off"?"
"Well she seemed lost in all sense of the word. She kept muttering "Te Amo" all the time. She was all over the place aswell. She got me and Ryan back here not long after you guys. Something about not trusting Ryan to not get alcohol poisoning without her around. She hasn't really left the library since if I'm honest. She's been in there for 12 hours. I only know she wants you because she whattsapped me on my phone. Whatever is going on, please sort it out, she's starting to really worry me. She hasn't been the same since that Master guy came around." Graham spoke clearly, albeit confused. I nodded my head and walked in the opposite direction to him and hoped the TARDIS would take me there quicker than normal. I want to treat this like a plaster, rip it off in one go.
Sooner than I realised, I grabbed the all too familiar door knob of the library. I took a deep breath and walked in. A blue line appeared towards the interactive map. I awakened the console and I saw a black screen with a few words on it. It looked like a message with how it was presented.
Hello (y/n)! Don't walk until you calm. Breath deeply and try not to panic. I promise you, all will work out in the end. I see more than you realise and I know my thief better than anyone whoever stepped foot into my being. I know of her main problem about the situation. If she loves you, drink this. It won't hurt, she'll know what it is.
The TARDIS
I should have been surprised by this new knowledge that she could speak to me, in a way, but I've seen so much and I am so tender hooks so I didn't take much notice of it. I quickly sat down and tried to control my breathing. After about 5 or so minutes, I felt calm enough to finally meet up with her and hear what she has to say.
I followed the blue line carefully until I spotted her in a comfy room. She mustve gotten changed at some point as she was wearing her usual rainbow outfit, minus the jacket. She was sat on a deep purple sofa, legs curled into her body. Her shoes were on the carpeted floor underneath her, seemingly forgotten for the moment. There were many books surrounding us from many cultures and spieces. One wall had a cozy wood burning fireplace crackling within the silence that surrounded us.
Her face was scrunched within deep thought. Her eyes sparkling with an emotion that I couldn't quite put my finger on; hope, sorrow or excitement? Her lips had a small smirk gracing them and her teeth had bitten a small part of it. Her hands were holding a book in a way where I couldn't quite see what it was.
I didn't want to disturb her as she looked so ethereal with the warm glow of the fire highlighting her in the perfect way. Unfortunately, it's plaster time and I wanted this sorted sooner rather than later. I took a deep breath took in the picture for memory.
"Hey, Graham said you wanted to talk to me? Is everything ok?" I asked gently and as softly as I could so she was carefully brought out of her little world. I didn't want to scare her. She raised her eyes from her book for a moment and bookmarked the page she was at with a little TARDIS paperclip. She placed the book on the table at the side of her and patted the seat next to her.
As I sat down my nerves were through the roof. She gave nothing away as she stared at me for a minute, as if assessing something about me.
"Why are you so nervous? Calm down. You are right, It is to do with last night. You left pretty abruptly after basically confessing your feelings to me. I was so confused, not just about what you said but about myself and what I wanted to do about you." The Doctor spoke monotonously. Did she mean get rid of me? "I had to first of all, find out what you said, well done on learning a new language by the way, one even I'm not fluent at. I'm guessing the old girl had something to do with that idea. Not that, you aren't smart enough but you don't know what languages I do or don't know."
The Tardis seemed to chuckled at the accusation and I simply nodded my head. "I wanted to buy myself time and to impress you."
"You impressed me a long time ago Miss (l/n). That is just a cherry on top. After I figured out what you said, no thanks to my old friend here, I went through a lot of thinking. I've not been in many relationships and you know my history regarding the ones I have been in. You know, River and Missy? And I have such a bad past with it ending in nothing but tears for me. I always lose those I care for deeply." She spoke with tears spilling from her gorgeous eyes. I grabbed her face gently and wiped away the stray tears that managed to escape their home.
"That was when you were a man. You're a woman now, everything is so different. Relationships can be heartbreaking. I know what you're main problem is and the TARDIS has a solution to that. I just need you to tell me the truth. How do you feel about me? Do you want me to stay or not?" I stated holding the small shot glassed amount of liquid in my hand. The liquid was golden and sparkled slightly in the light. There were specks of orange and silver within it and it was as hot as a nice cup of (hot drink). Her eyes sparkled with hope and shock. Her lips were smiling wide. And she seemed to giggle at the sight of it. She held it for a moment as if examining it like a rare artefact, maybe it was. Either way, I trust her judgement and if she's happy about it, then so am I. Once she had analysed the drink, she practically leapt into my arms and pushed me down on my back. She smelled of custard creams and the TARDIS which was odd but completely her and I couldn't imagine her smelling any other way.
"That does solve our problem! What she has just given you is the rarest liquid in the universe seeing as only one thing in the entirety of space can produce it. That drink is known as the nectar of the chosen ones. It's rare as the race that used to make them has practically gone extinct. There's only 3 left in the known universe and you're living in one. That drink is the blood of the TARDIS. It grants you immortality if you drink it. It is said to resemble your favourite beverage no matter who you are. However, it only lasts 100 years and you must drink it every century or else your body clock will kick in and you will age and be as mortal as you are now." She speaks with a warning as we sit up holding holds.
"I have no problem with that. I would sacrifice everything if it meant I got to call you mine. Just please tell me and I'll drink it." I told her with adoration in my eyes.
She held me close and planted a soft and gentle kiss to my lips. It was short but it sent more fireworks than you can imagine through my body. I knew I had found her. She grabbed my waist and whispered next to my ear:
"Te Amo"
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TIMELINE OF PAST AND CURRENT EVENTS
Some dates are inaccurate from the posted date and some don’t have dates, BUT I’ll be changing dates around just to fit her story a bit better and hopefully make sure things are more easier to understand. If I’ve forgotten to add any importantance between your muse and mine, please shoot me an IM!
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Arrived in Isola on January 24th, 2021.
Upon arrival these are things that Ismael has gone through
On her first day arriving, Spirale was covered in sheets of snow with diamond creatures and diamond anything that would block the way.
She was rescued by someone from those diamond yetis!
She found out that you can actually break diamond with diamond, and also FOUND KYRIE!
On January 26th, 2021
Curious about the hole, she decides to revisit it.
This is where she meets the unpleasantries of the shadowy figure. She never got his name, BUT that shadowy figure looking thing is the cause of her first death. He pushed her into the hole.
to this day, no one knows. To this day, Kyrie does not know that Ismael has a tiny fear of heights now.
{CAN’T FIND DATE} Was hired to work at Lovelyloaves by Mizi
On February 21st, 2021 she joined Big Dipper Talent!
Ismael has met and befriended plenty of people!
On April 1st, 2021
Game time? It’s weird and Ismael still doesn’t entirely understand what was going on, but it was fun. On her birthday, as part of the game, Ismael and Kyrie went diving....from the sky. Certainly a big step in that little fear of her’s!
She got a present afterwards! She hasn’t taken them off since!
She met someone shortly after. Nero.
He’s looking for a way out, and despite hearing that it is impossible he seems extremely hellbent in returning home. Says he’s got someone waiting for him. Someone waiting for him shares the same name as her friend Kyrie. WHAT are the odds, huh!
She has been searching for answers since to help aid him in this quest.
On April 6-20, 2021
On her way in search for parts for Nero, she decides to expand her searching by going to Yesteryear, attempt at Mistwood, and going through Fibonacci’s Shadier sides.
April 6 - In Yesteryear, she didn’t find anything, but instead met a man with a strange looking bird. Is it a crow or a raven? She still doesn’t know, but she’s beginning to think the bird is....pretty cool.
April 10 - In Mistwood she didn’t even go in to check it out. This place will have to wait until she’s either with someone who can get them out in a pinch or just...when she feels she’s ready. Badou says there’s Deatheater? Deadeaters? Whatever the fuck. She’s not about to be eaten by no eatereaters.
April 18 (Afternoon close to Eveningish) - Ismael tells Nero she wants to fight alongside him when he brings up that he might actually have to change his plan a bit. Says he’ll have to face the Stars first in order to prevent being brought back here. He won’t let her fight and that upsets her. They have a small argument about it. She’ll have to check up on him. Make sure he got home safe and make sure he’s okay.
April 18 (Nighttime) - Ismael miscalculated the time and got overly cocky. If that’s what you can call it. She got stuck in the crowd and was rescued by a rather tall and scary man. He showed kindness, despite her screaming and lashing out because of fear. Same man decided to show her who he truly is by taking her to some building.
IN an attempt to save the three men that were unlucky enough to meet Yamazaki in the same building for some shady business???? Ismael may have failed and may have actually been the result in them dying.
During the time she is captured and held captive, forced to watch whatever unfolds before her eyes with Yamazaki and these poor unfortunate men, Nero sends in a text about finding someone who is willing to make his arm. She’s unable to get to the message until 2 days after in the evening.
On April 21st, 2021
She finally steps out of her lone house to finally go grocery shopping that she’s been trying to avoid for the past couple of days since she got back from that night. A lot of stuff that she’d suppose to get done neglected.
In her attempt to be quick, in and out of grocery store, she meets Grimm. Someone she’s spent a lot of time with talking about music, playing, and listening.
.....If Grimm can see that something is wrong....
She’s really going to have to avoid seeing everyone else.
On April 24th, 2021
It’s proving difficult to be at the house, let alone just the ward entirely. She used to actually enjoy being in Fibonnaci. Some of the people there are nice, but...Well, now she just wants out. No where is technically safe, but man, she really wants out of Fibonacci.
She’s been crashing at....one of the Branches. Yesteryear is one of them. She’s beenn sleeping outside in her makeshift camp for a little over two days. She will stop by her home to get more supplies and the things she needs, but only then.
She’s more than likely going to check with the Stars. See if they will let her move houses.
She wants to ask the stars to move her, but again, the thought of ‘nowhere is really safe’ lingers at the back of her mind. She can move anywhere in the Wards or branches if that’s the case, but....HE will be there....Even if he isn’t.
On April 27th, 2021
Ismael finally gaining the courage after talking to Dune, decides to text Grimm and Nero.
She tells them what happened that night with Yamazaki. She’s not ready to talk to Kyrie about the event and isn’t quite sure when she will be ready.
Currently she is crashing at Grimm’s. Occasionally will crash at Nero’s, because she doesn’t want to just burden the one. Sometimes, she’ll be outside, in one of the branches. Sometimes she’ll tell the two where she’s going and other times she will not.
Kyrie remains to be in the dark about the whole situation, as through text, Ismael can pretend that everything IS fine to a perfect T.
On April 30th, 2021
She hits V up in hopes that he and his friend would be available to help her with a task. She’s been working on her archery skill and decided that in order to work on the small fear of heights, she’d pick up parkouring. Makes sense, right? Let’s see how this all goes.
On May 1, 2021
Ismael was once again debating on if she should venture into Mistwood or not. Only this time, instead of it being Badou to stop her in her tracks, it is none other than V. Where did he even come from? And will she ever actually check the woods out?
Don’t remember exact date
Ismael’s purchase of her Bow and fire elemental fragmentation were delivered to her. She’s been practicing more often. She also received her hoverboard as well.
On May 2nd, 2021
Ismael has once again come across Yamazaki. This time nothing happened and weirdly enough, it...was as if he was trying to help her get rid of that fear? Too bad he’s extremely unpredictable and what’s done is done. Though, she can’t deny that she hopes that ONE day she can actually look at him without fearing. That one day she can say his name without the memories of what happened...Or even if the memories are still there, she’s able to hold her ground and stay strong.
Until then, she’s practicing. She’s working on bettering herself, strengthen herself both mentally, emotionally, and physically.
She is getting a little better. Still nightmares plague her during the night, but she’s able to talk about what happened. May not be in full details, but it’s enough to understand ‘ah, so that’s what Ismael went through.’
Trying to face her fears is a lot harder than she thought. BUT she’s working on it. She’s hoping that even through fear she will be brave.
And every day, Ismael is reminded that she does have people here who cares for her and her them. It just makes these little horrible moments just a tad bit more bearable. She has so many people to thank!
And yes, this very same day she’s made her way into the woods. It may have been because she wasn’t thinking where she was running until it was too late. Whoops. Here, she’s met Mew. The pink cat that Nero helped.
On May 4th, 2021
Ismael decides to ask Nero a favor. She asks him if he would be okay in going to that building where she had been held captive and check for those bodies that she had left behind.
Nero ended up sent to the hospital when an unexpected turn of event led him and another guy there.
She feels guilt and blames herself for Nero’s injuries.
At the hospital on the same day while waiting for Nero, she meets Yamazaki again.
On May 8th, 2021
Ismael takes Nero’s words to heart from before when he got injured. When they were at the park he had said something along the lines of not holding something from someone. That being honest was more better. She decides to tell Kyrie of the things that she had suffered through.
Ismael is significantly getting better at not just archery, but handling things that has been happening in her life. The nightmares are still there. Sometime she catches herself in tears when she wakes, or a yelp in the middle of her sleep. Still, Ismael is doing her best!
On June 4th, 2021
There was an art museum that Ismael decided to attend to. Upon seeing a portrait, she finds out from Kyrie that the art is Yaira.
That very same day, everything in the museum comes to life and starts attacking people, including there being monsters added onto the chaos.
Ismael does not make it through. She ends up being injured fairly badly and passes away from said injury by the very hands of Yaira (an evil portrait.)
In the moment of her passing, she gets to meet Yaira (The good portrait that Kyrie made.)
On July 10th, 2021
Ismael undergoes a extremely life-changing situation. The stars manages to throw Ismael back into her world but reverse time with Ismael’s memories of Isola intact and was told that she’d remember bits and pieces and the more she continued onward the more memories she’d remember.
With the option to leave at any time, Ismael continued through her memory to the end and found out that Yaira was her sister all along.
Currently Ismael suffers from guilt, anger, self-hate, and so much more. She hasn’t been taking care of herself but still continues on with music, training, and her faith....If only to try and push through.
On July 21st
Ismael decides to contact Kyrie after a few days of just sending them texts to ask them about Yaira. She has a lot of questions and hopes that Kyrie can help her with them. She’s not entirely sure how she’s going to take any information if it turns out that Kyrie knew something and kept it from her.
MORE TO BE ADDED
will be updated accordingly!
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Tales from Grudgewill - Love of Our Lord Chapter 1
For some time now... i was thinking that maybe i should send my newest piece here. “Love of Our Lord”. Its basically a story about Lord Valnin (Not Uy-Mal Dzerma but Trildyn, because its alternate universe) dealing with his most recent problems like diplomacy, plague or love. The universe ive created is called “Grudgewill”, a fantasy universe based on Elder Scrolls, WarCraft, Dragon Age and perhaps a little on Warhammer Fantasy. I will send details about it later, but for now.. heres this little FanFiction ive made. This is just first chapter, i have second ready and im working on the third one, its going to be a long way. And i want to thank @avengercommander and @witharsenicsauce for inspiring me to do this, for helping me with writing and also for being very good friends, i cannot thank them enough for either. Anyway, i hope you will like it. ;)
Note : Almost all of the Valnin's lovers are characters taken from other games, most importantly Mass Effect : Andromeda and XCOM 2 : War of The Chosen, you can Google them, so you will know how they at least look like, for the Trio of Masters, Google up XCOM 2 Chosen. As for the Valnin himself, just Google up a Dark Elf from Elder Scrolls series, if you want some picture in particular, he would look like this most probably :
cdnb.artstation.com/p/assets/images/images/016/494/335/large/shamine-king-portrait-practice-adana-02-da.jpg?1552379572, Art by Shamine King
And i know this is a huge crossover thing, and in my official lore this will not be a thing, but hey, i started this story when i was drunk and i want to finish it, so i don't care anymore. smileyface Also, please excuse the grammar mistakes, english is not my first language, but i am trying my best.
Chapter I : First Things First
Lord Valnin was in difficult situation right now. He had no idea what to do first. The two other rulers of Icestand required his help with the plague in their regions, half of his army was demoralized because of this undead menace that was coming from the South, and there was also this most difficult choice, he would have to make... to choose one of his loyal companions, who would share their life with him until the very end of all things, despite the sad fact most of them will not live as long as Valnin. The Lord dropped into his chair, thinking about what to do, but all he wanted, was peace and quiet for at least a day or two. His blood red eyes focused on the rise of sun, its beams already touching Valnin's light blue skin. "Sometimes... I wish I didn't accept Watcher's offer. It surely would be easier than having to rule a kingdom" He said quietly to himself, so no one would hear him. As he continued to watch the dawn, his mind came with an idea after a minute. "First things first, I have to deal with this little love problem. After all, it's the closest problem I have here" He told himself quietly again. But then he frowned a little, as he was thinking about who to take. He couldn't think of who to choose. After all, he loved them all equally. He knew that having six lovers would be a bit crazy, but after all, no one was stopping him from doing so, unless one of them would disagree. "Hmm... It is an insane idea, Valnin, but you know you just cannot choose between them, you would then feel bad for the rest" He said with a bit of a louder tone this time. He then realized it, and stayed quiet for at least ten seconds, hoping that no one heard has him. Silence. He sighed a sigh of relief. He then felt odd, as he realized that he was pretty paranoid about all this. "Being a ruler will kill you one day, Trildyn" He told himself again in quiet tone.
It was a normal day in Third Kindgom of Icestand. Valnin's experts, soldiers and servants were doing their standard routines, and all the work he had was tons of paperwork again. It wasn't really easy for his mental health, since he had a lot of problems of his own, and yet, he still had to deal with things in his own kingdom, in kingdoms of his co-rulers and also with things from other provinces and most of all, the Emerald Empire. It surely wasn't boring but more like irritating. Doing all the same things all over again despite the fact they should've been done already can be really mind-bothering. It took almost three quarters of the day to get all the formal things done. The Lord was sitting in his throne, his palm on his left cheek, enjoying the peace he finally got for the rest of the day. He closed his eyes for a moment, thinking about what he should do now that everyday's work has been done. His thoughts were interrupted by a voice of his runner who just got here "Your lordship, i hate to interrupt you, but Lord Arput II and Lord Voltor-Kal requested your presence in three days in Second Kingdom's capital". Valnin's face then shaped into annoyed expression, he sighed "Very well, tell them i'll be there, my servant". The runner bowed, and was on his way again. The Lord shifted in his throne again as he wanted to continue to think, but he couldn't. Something was keeping him from it. He got up, straightening his long black hair and then he thought about that he could visit one of his companions. But who? That was the question...
Captain of the Royal Security, Jaal Ama Darav, was just preparing to get out of his armor and head to his quarters, when suddenly someone knocked on the door. "Stars, what is it now?" He said under his breath. He cleared his throat and said just loudly enough so the person behind the door could hear him "Come in". He then checked his desk if he didn't forget anything while he heard the door open "I sincerely hope this is important. I had a long day, and I want to-" He stopped in the mid of his talk when he looked at the person who just came in. It was Lord Valnin, kindly smiling, his red eyes barely recognizable in the dim lights. "Oh, my Lord, I apologize, I didn't know that it was you" Jaal said with concerned voice. The Lord continued to smile, then he calmly said "Don't be so worried, Jaal. I just wanted to check up on you, my dearest Captain". The Angaran man blushed slightly, making his pink-white cheeks a little bit blue even though it couldn't really be seen in the dark ambience of his large office. "So how was your day, Jaal?" The Lord asked. The Captain slightly hesitated to tell him his honest thoughts, but in the end, he knew that there was something between him and Valnin, at least he felt that way and also the fact that Angara are more open with their feelings than most races made him say it, starting with a sigh "I... had a difficult day, my Lord. The new recruits we've got from the Empire? It is very difficult to work with them. If I would call them uneducated roekaar, it would be an understatement". Valnin felt that Jaal was feeling frustrated, but he couldn't help himself but to ask "Excuse me, but... uneducated what?". Jaal looked at Valnin with his blue almost cat-like eyes "Roekaar. It means stubborn people in free translation". Valnin nodded his head in understanding. "Well, you know what they say, you cannot trust n'wahs, the outlanders" Valnin said. The Captain just slowly nodded in agreement "Indeed, m'lord". Then there was a moment of silence between them, as they couldn't find subject to talk about. The silence has been broken when Jaal asked his Lord "Lord Valnin... I know this might be an inappropriate question, but is there-" He stopped, as he started to hesitate again. He just couldn't straight ask his own Lord if he cares about him as his lover. Valnin raises a brow "Yes?". Jaal looked at him for a second, then nervously looked away as the words were stuck in his throat. The Lord slowly came to him, putting his bare blue hand on Jaal's wide shoulder and while he was looking into his eyes, he said "Jaal, if there is anything on your heart, just tell me. I know it is kind of difficult to talk like that in front of your own ruler, but in the end, we are all just living beings". His words sounded so powerful when he was so close, almost like it was some kind of curse. The Angaran's eyes met with Lord's, returning him the confidence he needed to say it. "I just feel like there is something between us, my Lord. You gave me a few hints in the past, but I didn't think much of it. And recently, you were giving me lots of those odd looks and hints, it almost felt you like me, but in a way of a lover". As Valnin was processing what Jaal said, he just smiled "Tell me then, do you feel something towards me, my loyal subject?". And again, the Captain didn't have a slightest idea of what to say. The eye contact was still going, though. Nervous glare meeting the calm one. Jaal's imagination was going wild of what could happen in next few moments if he would be completely honest with him, alas his Angaran nature wasn't making it easy for him, he couldn't hold it anymore. "My lord... you are the most interesting and also most odd being I have ever known" he said in nervous but still voice as Valnin was smiling at him with his one brow slightly up. "You are an inspiration for me. For your men. For your whole kingdom" He continued with less and less nervousness in his voice. "I also find your race very fascinating. The wonderful scent of your hair. Your smooth blue skin. Your intriguing eyes, they can be both intimidating and pleasant to look at. They are like glittering..." He stopped as he was thinking for few seconds. "...I believe humans call it rubies" He said with sincere smile which revealed his almost-white teeth. The Lord was pleasantly surprised by all those words, his face bright with expression of smile so large, that it almost looked like his mouth was going to rip. "Oh, dearest Jaal, you have no idea how much i am flattered right now. I have to admit, you are very good with words, Captain" Valnin said with that never-ceasing smile. Jaal blushed slightly again, and gave him a warm smile back "Not as good as you are when it comes to politics, your Lordship". They shared their smiles once again, but then Jaal kindly asked "So how is it really, my Lord? Do you feel the same towards me as i do towards you?". The Lord went for it, and kissed Jaal ever so softly on his right cheek which left the Angaran man just standing there wide-eyed. "There's your answer, my dearest Jaal" Valnin said quietly, but loudly enough so Jaal would hear him. The Captain could not find any words to react with. "Good night, Jaal" The Lord said, and before Jaal could wish him back, he was gone. "... Good night, taoshay" Jaal said to himself even though he wanted his Lord to hear it, but who knows, maybe he did, elves have very good ears after all.
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Unforeseen Chasm (Part 8)
Prompt: Two sisters fall for men that are absolute enemies. The love they have could tear all of them apart, or it could bring them together.
Word Count: 1537
Warnings: Language
Note: This is by far the longest thing I’ve ever written (including my novels). It’s a collaboration with the amazing @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo. It started as a funny “What if…?” and it evolved and got huge. This took two years to write. We are both proud and happy and we hope you enjoy it. It follows from Thor 1 to Endgame in the MCU. Some of the timelines may be off in order to fit certain people, and some characters may show up earlier or in different ways than they have in the movie. But for the most part, it follows the MCU. It also has a bit of crossover with some other Marvel characters throughout the story.
Masterlist for Unforeseen Chasm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shannon,
It's good to know you are receiving the letters. Trying to find a raven was rather difficult, but Thor managed to borrow his father’s. This feels almost like Harry Potter, doesn't it? Writing via letter, and sending it through magical realms on a bird? Hehe.. I wasn't sure the raven would even know how to find you.
I miss you and Lucky very much… I hope you're giving him a kiss every night for me.
I am going to go mad. But I take solace knowing that Tony will ask you on a date very soon. Believe me, Shannon, that man is head over heels for you. It will be any day now.
That is good about Jane. She will be a great asset to the team, I'm so glad my data helped you.
I am sending the phone back with the raven. I hope you can upload the photos and see what I see. And as a matter of fact, King Odin has asked for my help. He is looking into getting me a job with some elite scientists. Thor told him of my work on Earth and he felt my skills should not go to waste. I am looking into studying their atmosphere.
Shannon, this world is incredible. They have fruit sweeter than candy, meat that needs no seasoning. They use and believe in magic. Queen Frigga and Loki are well versed in magic, probably what we would call witchcraft back home. I tried to take a picture of them performing magic, but the energy won't show up. But yes, Frigga and Diane would get along great!
Funny story, I got a “formal” portrait of the royal family. It took a lot of begging on my part, and convincing on Thor and Queen Frigga's. It looks amazing. Odin is on the throne… you'll see. Thor lets me take all the pictures I want. Frigga is shy, but she allows photos so long as it is in the evening. Odin forbids them except for the portrait. He was not amused when I tried to take a selfie with him. Loki, I tried to steal a few photos of him, but he is clever and wise to me.
I decided to drop a note at Loki's door. He seems to be quietly brooding, constantly on edge. I thought maybe if I reached out, and gave him the chance to approach me, it might be better. I basically told him in the note I know what it's like to be overlooked, to be unwanted. I told him that it doesn't matter what his father thinks of him, or his brother. What matters is what he feels his worth is. I dropped that at his bedroom door this morning, so we shall see.
He hasn't spoken to me since I broke up their fight two weeks ago. It’s killing me. I can't explain it but I desperately wish to get to know him. I want to help him, and I don't know how to get him to open up to me.
No promises about the battles, hehe. My footwork is getting better, or so Thor and Sif tell me. Tomorrow I will practice against Fandral, which makes me very freaking nervous. Wish me luck.
The books about Asgard actually aren't foo far off the correct path. There are a few things I need to revise but so far we've gotten it mostly right. I am going to have to stress how stunning this world is. I may even update some of the politics. They run things somewhat differently.
I will ask Thor what he would like from Earth, for his gift, haha.
The news on my parents is promising. The data team here has been going through records and they've found birth records for my month and year. When they find a female baby with my similar characteristics they'll let me know… I hope to know something soon.
I miss you.
Love, your bff,
Y/N/N
——----------------------------
Dear Y/N/N,
It's so good to hear from you again, I was hoping to get a letter soon enough you have no idea what's been going on over here. It feels like im awaiting my letter from Hogwarts except this is so much better! I’m sure Odin doesn’t mind that we’re using his raven. The raven thing works well, although it did give Lucky a good scare when it flew over his head to land on the lab table.
Speaking of Lucky, he’s been doing alright there’s a few times where he’ll cry because he misses you but I’ll be sure to let him know you asked for him. Ever since I snuck Lucky in and Tony caught me giving him a bath, he’s arranged for us to have a room to stay in. Although Tony won’t admit it, he does like seeing Lucky in the morning. Bruce even makes us have breakfast. Lately Lucky’s been disappearing a lot from my side, he usually lays down under my desk and watches me work, and you won’t believe where I found him. I found him sleeping in Tony’s bed. Seems he’s gotten Tony to actually get to bed most nights.
Speaking of Tony, you can take solace because I overheard him talking to JARVIS about planning a dinner date for us two but he’s unaware that I heard. He asked me out the next day to say I'm nervous is an understatement i have no idea what to wear I wish you were here to help me pick my outfit. I don’t know about head over heels for me but he did seem different after he asked me out.
With looking at the research I was able to retrieve for her, I showed Pepper the results and was given the go ahead to fund any further research she makes so as long as I’m able to read through and add to our file. She’ll be getting a letter soon. I’ll let you know how she reacts seeing as you two are good friends.
I’ll be sure to upload the pictures onto the system and try to locate the heat signals off the energy from their magic. I’ve made some changes to the system. Just make sure its secured on to the raven good so we don't lose it. Seems like Odin is a bit of a stiff man. Does he ever smile?
Good to hear that even on another planet you’ll be helping further some sort of research. They are very lucky to have you there. You have to tell me more about it when you start working.
It must look formal with how Sif and the other warriors were dressed it must be something out of a story book. In sure Queen Frigga is private about herself which is quite normal, are you planning a way to get pictures of Loki in anyway? Don’t tell me you plan on asking to be taught magic by either of them as cool as it would be there must be some risks.
Glad to hear your still trying to help Loki but I’m not sure he’s looking to connect just yet maybe give him some more time? Try and get to know him rather than just getting him to see you two are equals?
Y/N, so help me I will find a way to get to Asgard, don’t you go riding into battle unaware of whether or not your truly Asgardian. Sounds to me like Sif has her work cut out, you always were a quick study kinda girl. Wish you the best of luck and that you knock Fandral off his feet.
I could send you the book to you so you can make the changes as you see? I’ve finished reading through it and with what you know now it’ll be even better.
Maybe I’ll send him poptarts he did seem to enjoy those when you told me. Haha
I'm sure you’ll get the answers you need soon enough, Y/N, try not to stress too much about that.
Lucky and I miss you too.
Your sister,
Shannon
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@sarahp879
@malfoysqueen14
@ellallheart
@breezy1415
@marvelmayo
@random-fluffy-pink-unicorn
@cocosierra94
@hardcollectionworldtrash
@capsmuscles
@marvelloushamilton
Loki:
@lostinspace33
@ultrarebelheart
@lenawiinchester
@esoltis280
@tngrayson
@wangdeasang
@harrymewmew
@jayfantasyatyourservice
UC:
@lokis-high-priestess
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hi, i love your writing and hcs sm! could i get a BoB ship please? :) i’m 5’6”, & i have brown hair and blue eyes. i love music, and i play several instruments. i also like drawing portraits and running. i’m pretty laidback, and i have a really good sense of humor once i’m comfortable w you. i have adhd, so i’m very fidgety and forgetful. i’m a thinker, and sometimes i have a hard time getting out of my head and being social, even though i like people. im also a big dog person. thanks!
Donald Malarkey
girl listen... I’m shipping you with my king right here... watch urself
in general
it just makes sense to me ya know??? i just feel like you two would click
you guys just seem to have similar things in common as well
he enjoys that you’re very laidback, as he can be quite high strung sometimes
he’s like the mother hen you never knew you had
but he’s also a big baby sometimes
if you’re a leg bouncer, he’ll never get angry at you for it, or any of your other fidgeting habits
instead, he’ll either grab your hand and hold it to make you stop, or put his hand on your thigh and squeeze it lightly
he loves your jokes, but to the point where someone would think he’s dying he’s laughing so hard
he’s very easy to get along with, so you guys pretty much never fight
Don always makes sure you never get lost in your head for too long, he gets worried
if you go on a morning run, he won’t go with you
he says it reminds him of Currahee
butttt, when you get back, he will swaddle you in blankets
you have been absorbed into his blanket burrito
you two are always writing each other little notes to remind the other of something they have to do
occasionally, you’ll find a note that just says something sweet from him
something cheesy like “you look beautiful today! i don’t even have to see you to know it.”
you guys always go on dates that you’ve never been on before
whether it’s a new restaurant, or a new activity, it’s never quite the same
you guys definitely have a dog
you have 2 actually, one that you adopted and one that Don adopted
Don lovessss when you sing or play one of your instruments
he thinks it’s the most soothing thing in the world
sometimes he’ll try and peek over your shoulder while you’re drawing, and you’ll just slap him lightly on the back of the head
he just wants to see your masterpiece
has probably modeled for a sketch of yours before probably without even knowing it
Don is.... a simp
he will never escape Penkala and Muck’s relentless teasing
they bully him the most
Tab’s almost just as bad as them, he’s a very close second
he’s not gonna stop talking about you though
so proud that you’re dating him
shows you off constantly, especially at parties and reunions
how you two got together
i picture you as a member of Easy Co. tbh
you, Don, Skip, and Penkala were all very close
you all bonded when Sobel got pissed and made everyone run Currahee
Skip had tripped over a root in the ground and had twisted his ankle
Sobel threatened anyone who helped Muck up with revoking their weekend pass
not like you would get one anyways
you and Don were the only people besides Penkala to help Skip up, regardless of the consequences
Sobel put all of you on latrine cleaning duty
you all started talking and joking while cleaning, and even you slowly began to open up over time
Don had always thought you were pretty, and he had begun to develop feelings for you since he gotten to know you better
Skip and Muck were practically begging him to just confess to you at this point
they couldn’t stand the puppy dog eyes he’d make at you all the time
Skip says that he’s “practically drooling” and that he should “just ask her out already. it’s not like she’s gonna say no.”
you had confided in Skip that you liked Don already, but Skip couldn’t say it outright because he was sworn to secrecy
so of course, this led to Skip and Penkala doing what they do best
scheming
always mentioning to Don your favorite foods, bringing you up in conversation, always making sure that you and Don were sharing the same foxhole, etc.
they were trying everything
their attempts became less aggressive after a while though
they could tell you were feeling more and more uncomfortable, and after a while, you started to pull away from Don
they’d always see you sitting the farthest away from him
you weren’t spending nearly as much time, if any, sharing the same foxhole
Skip and Alex couldn’t help but wonder if Don had fucked up
and they were convinced he did
and don’t get me wrong, they love Malark, but they also love you just as much
and they were PISSED
how did he fuck up that bad? what did he do? you were never like this
eventually, they got so mad that they confronted him about it
it was a quiet evening, and Skip, Don, and Alex were in Don’s foxhole
the conversation had somehow moved to the topic of you, and Muck just lost it
“how did you even mess up that bad? I mean, seriously, she hasn’t talked to you in DAYS, man. what is wrong with you? you go on and on and on about how much you like her, and how she’s so amazing, and then you go and fuck up so bad that she doesn’t even want to talk to you???”
Alex was just nodding his head in agreement
Don just rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, “guys... we’ve been together for 2 weeks. i already told her. we’re just distancing ourselves from each other when everyone else is around so no one gets suspicious of us, especially Dike.”
“...........”
“WHAT?”
I’m so sorry this took forever, but I’m finally back from testing! I hope you enjoyed this, have a fantastic day!
~ ky
#donald malarkey#don malarkey#don malarkey hcs#band of brothers headcanon#band of brothers#ship requests
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Sycamore High: Mix and Match (Chapter 23)
A/N: I feel so bad for people who dont know something rotten they must feel so confused...im SORRY. Also yes I did write the entirety of lyrics from memory
summary: First rehearsal for Something Rotten!
words: 2,502
warnings: Swearing, funeral mention, lyrics, implied harassment (at the end, will find out more next chap)
Ao3 Link
“Welcome to the first official rehearsal for ‘Something Rotten’!” Chad announces to a loud cheer from the cast. Save except for a very quiet Ted sitting in the front row and a sad distant Tommy shoved in another row. Chad notices and feels a tug at his own heart, he shakes his head continuing. “I'd like to get started by doing a read through, so if everyone could gather on the stage” The crowd follows creating a circle on the stage, each student with a script in their hands. Chad counts before realizing something. “Ok, so we are going to have to sing acapella, because I may have forgotten to call in the pianist” He chuckles awkwardly, Bill ponders before raising his hand. Chad points at him prompting him to talk.
“I can play the piano,” He says, a tug pulls at Ted and Paul as they share a look. It's true, though not his main hobby, his mother did teach him. He stands and goes to the piano opening the sheet music and tickling the keys, something dances through him as it comes playing back to him. He nods at Chad, who smiles back.
“Alright! Let's begin!” Chad spins pointing to Caleb, another cast member who smiles excitedly “Take it away minstrel, Bill” Bill nods, turning to Caleb who studies his music quickly before giving a thumbs up. Chad starts swinging his fingers Bill begins playing the opening song.
“War of the roses, Chaucer's tale. The brutal feudal system. Holy crusade, Bubonic plague. Can't say that we've really missed 'em. So dark and barbaric, So dull and mundane. That was so Middle Ages. That was so - Charlemagne” The group giggle excitedly as Caleb continues, Bill continues, hitting the note. The cast looks around excitedly as Caleb continues, everything washes away. “Welcome to the Renaissance. With poets, painters, and bon vivants and merry minstrels. Who stroll the streets of London a strummin' they lutes”
“In puffy pants and pointy leather boots!” The male ensemble continues, Chad smiles. It sounds great.
~~~
“Hit it, Bill!” Chad exclaims, and so Bill does hitting the keys ecstatically but carefully. Ted turns to Paul revving up.
“Ohhhhh God I hate Shakespeare!” The crowd cheers. Paul clutches his pearls offended. “That's right I said it”
“No!” The ensemble cries, Ted feels his heart flutter. Everything seems ok as the music plays and the bubbling energy bounces around the room. Everyones buzzing with excitement, happy to be here.
“I do, I hate Shakespeare” He makes sure to sing that line at Sam who couldn't care less.
~~~
“I am stronger than you think, Don't be thinking I ain't tough I am where you oughta go. When the going's getting rough. So when things are going badly-” Charlotte belts happily, lovingly staring at Ted.
“But they're not” Ted insists, Charlotte bites down a giggle.
“They kinda are” Paul points out. Bill continues happily watching his friends.
“No, things are fine” Ted turns to Paul, who raises his eyebrows innocently.
“But if they weren't” Charlotte tries again, Ted and Paul smile widely.
“But it's ok”
“Love?”
“What?” Something catches Ted off guard at the name, he glances to Tommy feeling his face fall.
“Oh!”
“What?” He watches as Tommy bounces happily, watching the trio back and forth. His heart pounds in his ears he can't hear the music anymore.
“Quit trying to protect me” Charlotte's voice seeps through grounding Ted once more, he shakes his head delivering his line.
“Can we change the subject, please?” He didn't mean to beg so desperately, hopefully, they would just think he was getting into it.
“Not until I know that-”
~~~
“What the hell are musicals?” Ted asks feeling his voice get caught, Tommy can't meet his eyes and seems focused on his sheet music.
“It appears to be a play where the dialogue stops and the plot is conveyed through the song” Tommy says, his voice sweet with a hint of insane. Ted chuckles to himself, he's been practicing.
“Through song?”
“Yes” The group laughs and Ted does too, he's doing exceptionally well.
“Wait, wait, wait, so an actor is saying his lines and then out of nowhere he just starts singing?” Ted recites, he likes this monologue.
“Yes,” Tommy repeats, his grin his wider now. It feels like it's just the two, practicing as if no one was there. Ted looks to Bill nodding, he turns and prepares.
“Well that is the-” He starts singing “Stupidest thing that I have ever heard You're doing a play, got something to say so you sing it? It's absurd! Who on Earth is going to sit there while an actor breaks into song? What possible thought could the audience think other than "this is horribly wrong?" Bill hangs on the note as Tommy smiles wide.
“Remarkably?” He asks “They won't think that!” Ted can practically feel the room buzzing with excitement.
“Seriously, why not?” Ted asks back, Tommy can't hold it in, he flashes his most insane smile.
“Because…” He looks to Bill, they smile at each other “It's. A. Musical! A musical!” Everyone lets out small cheers as the song begins. “And nothings as amazing as a musical” Well, I can think of one or two things that are, Ted thinks as he watches Tommy enchant the entire class. Tommy continues with Ted and for a moment it's as if nothing is wrong.
~~~
“Paul and Emma, ready?” Chad asks, Bill flips to the song nodding at the group. Paul takes a deep breath as Emma just giggles smiling at him.
“Ready as I’ll ever be” She announces, Chad points at Bill who begins playing softly. “I love Sidney and Marlowe and often I borrow their words to express how I feel. I love poems of mystery, fantasy, history, Oh, what seductive appeal. At night, alone in my bedroom satisfying my needs. The candlelight fire ignites my desire...to read” Emma sings sending thrilling chills down Pauls back, he might miss his cue from listening to her enchanting voice. It's suddenly his turn after he misses three verses tuning out the actual words.
“It's the end-all, the be-all, oh, you oughta see all the books that I have on my shelf” He sings softly, a little nervous. Ted and Bill nod encouragingly.
“Me too!” She exclaims “I find pleasure perusing those writings and musings, so often I pleasure myself” She pauses giving off an awkward smile, the crowd laughs “Wait, that didn't sound right”
“No, I know what you mean” Paul goes again, a little more confident “When I'm deep in the throes of impassionate prose I could scream”
“You scream?”
“Yeah!”
“So do I!!” And so she did scream, much to everyone's delight
~~~
“Sam, boys, you ready,” Chad asks excitedly going through his notes. Sam practically bounces a childlike grin wide across his face. Charlotte giggles and Emma can't help but smile, he looks genuinely excited. “Go Bill!” And he does almost less excited. Sam stands, followed by his 4 boys already.
“My days are so busy, it's making me dizzy, there's so much I gotta do. There are lunches and meetings and poetry readings and endless interviews. Gotta pose for a portrait and how I deplore sittin' there for eternity. Then it's off to the inn where my innkeeper friend wants to name a drink after me! Then it's back to my room, where I resume my attempt to write a hit. Just me and my beer and the terrible fear that I might be losing it” He sings drunkenly, the groups nod along enjoying this. He's got the voice down. The boys jump around him singing their lines. “And it's hard”
“It's hard” They point at Sam playing around, it's a whole routine.
“It's hard”
“It's hard” They go again, struggling to keep a straight face. The whole song is pure fun.
“It's really, really hard, so very, very hard” They sing in unison
~~~
“Welcome to America!”
“Land of opportunity!” Ted finishes strong smiling. The room erupts into cheers with everyone hugging everyone, at one point Ted feels himself wraps his arms around Tommy pulling away quickly. They stare awkwardly giving each other sweet longing smiles before each is pulled off into a respective group. Bill stands to join his friends congratulating them. They pull him into a hug. “Bill! You were amazing! Seriously, singing and piano wise!”
“Oh! Well, thank you” He nods blushing slightly. Chad comes over clapping him on the back. Bill lurches forward making an ‘umph’ sound.
“Bill that was wonderful!” He compliments “You are truly gifted” Now Bill is blushing harder than ever. Ted smiles, pride is not the words he's looking for. Bill leans in a little to Ted who laughs wrapping an arm around his small friend, understanding what he needs. He continues the conversation politely before leading Bill away from the crowd and setting up right outside the doors. “Thank you” Bill mumbles as they sit down on the cool floor, a change from the sauna that is the auditorium. They lean against the wall, Bill collapses onto Ted's shoulder, his eyes heavy.
“Of course,” Ted says nudging his friend, Bill yawns flexing his hands. They're cramping after such a massive play, he feels the ivories phantom and urges to keep playing. “You really did do amazing Bill” Ted compliments playing with his fingers, Bill chuckles nodding. A comfortable silence falls between them, Bill can't seem to relax his hands so Ted takes them applying soft pressure. It feels nice, Bill sighs relieved. He looks up a bit to Ted seeing him stare far off as if playing with Bills fingers is the only thing keeping him from drifting off, becoming particles of sand left in the wind for all of eternity.
“Would you like to discuss it?” Bill inquires softly, Ted's eyes merely gaze over to him. “You and Tommy, I mean” He clarifies, wanting to be there for his friend as he had so desperately failed in the past few months.
“Hmm?” Ted hums, he shakes his head a sad smirk appearing on his face “Not unless you want to talk about whatever's going on with you” Ted says, he's sure the subject will be dropped, that he has ‘won’, perse.
“Ok,” Bill says sitting up, Ted's face falls and so do his hands, losing contact with Bills. He giggles softly before continuing “I dont know whats going, or what was going on with me. I treated you unfairly and was somebody that I was not. I let my emotions get the best of me, the fight with Billy…” He eyes Ted, his tone becoming softer “And at the funeral” He barely whispers. Ted nods processing the words his small friend speaks.
“I miss my mom, and my dad...apparently kill-” He chokes suddenly, Bill squeezes his hand, no pressure...take your time. “And I made a mistake, I took it out on Tommy,” He sighs rubbing the bridge of his nose “But he doesn't deserve me! He deserves someone better, someone whos not…” He grunts pressing his lips together tightly, irritated “Me...someone whos not me” Ted finishes, Bill takes a deep breath.
“You're right,” Bill says, Ted's eyes go wide, oh? “He doesn't deserve you, in my opinion, nobody does Ted. Nobody is good enough for you” He says, Ted feels his heart pull “I've always thought that you're my best friend how could I not?” Ted chuckles lightly “But I have never seen you happier than when you're with Tommy, every word, every movement, every smile...I see how it affects you” Bill remarks, Ted struggles against tears. “You love him, and mind you, he loves you too” Ted nods, that he knows, I do love him. “I will always think that no one is good enough for you but Tommy? He comes pretty damn close” Bill finishes, Ted raises his brows lovingly.
“Bill Dorris, did you just swear?” Ted asks teasing his friend. Bill turns to him, dead serious.
“Yes I did, and no one will ever believe you” They erupt into tired laughter and sit until the night comes to a close. The professors come to collect Ted, and Bill gets a ride with Paul. But something changed that lively night, another part of the puzzle was found and it fits perfectly. However, another part of the puzzle was lost that night, a part no one thought could be lost, a fury of love and sunshine...finally dimmed out.
~~~
Something had died that night, and it had died alone. Tommy watches as Ted led Bill out of the theatre, smiling at the pair happy to see things falling back into place. He waved at Ted who only caught a glance but smiled at him. He sighs happily turning towards another group, he starts a polite conversation with them but feels something boiling in the back of his brain, an itching. He glances around seeing Billy leaning against one of the sides watching him intently. He shivers trying to shake off the pit now consuming him.
“Bye Tommy,” Charlotte says hugging her friend, he hugs back eyes wandering towards Billy, he holds on a little tighter wanting her to stay. But she does and soon so does everyone, until its just Tommy, Chad, Billy and his friends. Chad and Tommy carry on a conversation that leaves Tommy feeling pleasant, it comes to a slow however much to Tommy’s disappointment.
“Oh wow” Chad says looking at his watch he perks back up to Tommy “I gotta get home, um...have you by any chance seen Ted?” He asks, Tommy ponders for a moment recollecting the events that had transpired.
“He went out towards the foyer with Bill” Tommy smiles, as the professor nods. He thanks him quickly, giving him a rushed farewell until suddenly once more Tommy stands alone on the stage with Billy watching him. He moves to the piano feeling himself wince at every step. He reaches for his phone checking for an update from his mom or anything really...from Ted.
“Hey” A slimy voice whispers abruptly, a painful shiver runs down Tommy's spine as he recoils jumping. Billy smirks at him, play the part, Billy. Tommy feels his lip quiver, he feels his phone buzz and reaches for it once more. An instant wave of relief hits him seeing a familiar, not yet changed name pop up.
Dearest
Ted: Hey… I just wanted to make sure that you were really alright
As much as Tommy wishes to reassure him, to continue to another subject he can't. He wastes no time sending an urgent text, something he knows he’ll understand. How could he not? It was pretty clear.
Tommy: Still at school, alone with Billy, please help.
“Oh no need for that” Billy's voice intrudes his mind once more, he watches as the disgusting teen grabs the phone from Tommy's hands throwing it on the floor. Tommy winces instinctively as the shatter hits the ground...and the pieces all fall apart.
#sycamore high#tgwdlmhs#tgwdlm#the guy who didn't like musicals#musical theatre#theatre#musicals#starkid#joey richter#lauren lopez#robert manion#jeff blim#corey dorris#jaime lyn beatty#jon matteson#ao3#writing#my writing#archive of our own
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and the wind sounds like the world’s sigh
persona 4 & 5 | shiho-centric, investigation team
Near the end of May, Shiho transfers to a sleepy town called Inaba for a fresh start. However, Inaba isn’t the sleepy town her parents thought would be best for her— its on edge with unsolved mysteries, and Shiho finds that there’s a bit more behind what meets the eye regarding some of her classmates and a TV screen.
chapter 3 | 5.7k | ao3
She doesn't know if she's envious or glad for them.
Maybe she's envious because her teammates weren't given the same slack. Not in the slightest. She wonders if Yui's arm was set properly, or if Inuoka's shoulder healed fully. She wonders if any of them can be in the gymnasium without feeling a phantom ache in their joints. Wonders if any of them are better now that he's been shipped off to jail. Wonders if they can still play volleyball and still be able to breathe.
She realizes very quickly there is very little to do in Inaba.
Not for the first time and certainly not the last, Shiho longs for Tokyo. She doesn't think a lifetime spent in Tokyo would be enough time to do everything there. The city's always bustling, always changing, always growing-- there's always something new, something to try. Ann was there, too, always bounding by her side, leading her to a new place to go to.
Inaba has a river, a shrine, an inn, and a market. There are plenty of mom-and-pop stores, plenty of tiny businesses that take up a sixteenth of a street block. In a week, Shiho has already scoured through nearly all of them.
It's probably something her parents overlooked, too. They're restless, itching for more motion and more activity and just more than what this tiny place offers. They're no different from her-- they lived in Tokyo longer than she's been alive, and they've been through the growth of Tokyo. There's no way they don't long for the gray and musty streets over the clear and small roads here at least every now and then.
They're making friends with the locals, because that's all there really is to do. They get jobs, her mom at an antique shop, her dad a carpenter. Maybe they're getting used to the rural air, maybe not-- she wonders if they've considered moving back to Tokyo once she's graduated and shipped off to a college, or if they'll come to like this place and live here from now on.
They find their own ways to burn the day away. It unluckily lines up with the time Shiho has school, and they're home whenever she gets to the house. In the late afternoon, their house is quiet even though there are people in it.
She wonders what her parents think when she gets home later and later, purposely avoiding being in a house where guilty gazes weigh down on her shoulders, the tension in the air that makes her suffocate.
With little to do in Inaba, she very quickly runs out of things to keep her occupied while she prolongs the time she gets home. There's only so much a friendless, penniless teenager could do. Maybe she could get a job to get money and to take up time, or maybe even join a club at school, but then it'll tie her down to this place.
Frequently, she wishes Ann was here. She'd be able to make the best of this place. Even with the cheerful chatter and encouraging words from the near-constant buzzing of her phone, it will never match up to being actually with her.
She's a little envious of Ryuji and Akira, who get to see her daily. She's glad they're friends.
More often than not, she ends up hanging around the school grounds. She's already gone through the town, but she doesn't have money of her own, and she doesn't want to deal with the off-chance she'll come across her parents in public. It's past the end of the day, and the other students head off to club activities or to head home. Usually she's left in peace.
She finds some place to burn time in-- usually its the library (she finally found it-- it was on the second floor this whole time, she just passed it by mistake), where few students linger in after hours and even fewer try to speak to her. Other students still keep trying to talk to her, and she knows she should try to act like a normal person and respond properly, but her tongue feels like gauze when she opens it and her stomach sinks because she can't even act like she wants to be here. The library gives her the solitude she needs from the other students, but it's also too quiet, too soundless, too similar to the home she's avoiding, and it closes a couple hours earlier than the school does.
So then she wanders around until she knows its safe to enter town without seeing her parents, or until school closes. Around this time, very little students are around, the only ones being in clubs or practice for sports. She can wander without interruption until her legs begin to ache, the pain beneath her kneecaps too strong, and usually ends up sitting on a bench until they decide to work like how she wants them to.
She wears the knee brace. It makes no damn difference whether or not she wears it-- the weather and the hills are a killer combo. She only wears it because her parent asked it of her. She'd rather go without it, even though she knows she wouldn't be able to move as much as she is, because her classmates will peer at it and she can see the questions on the tips of their tongues.
She rubs her knee absently. The sky's clear for the most part, spotted with occasional clouds. The bench she ended up on has a clear view of the practice building and the lot in front of it, one that the Soccer team is using for a practice game. Some seem dearly invested in their little game, some don't.
Something settles heavy in her gut. It's something like dread, an itch-- it's not a good feeling, and she shifts restlessly to quell it. They're... They're not trying. Won't their coach be angry that they're not trying--? She looks around, but there's no coach scrutinizing the players. No coach barking out orders that are do or die. They're allowed to slack. A breath leaves her in a rush, one she didn't realize she was holding.
She doesn't know if she's envious or glad for them.
Maybe she's envious because her teammates weren't given the same slack. Not in the slightest. She wonders if Yui's arm was set properly, or if Inuoka's shoulder healed fully. She wonders if any of them can be in the gymnasium without feeling a phantom ache in their joints. Wonders if any of them are better now that he's been shipped off to jail. Wonders if they can still play volleyball and still be able to breathe.
But maybe she's glad-- they don't have to experience what Shujin volleyball players went through. She's glad some of them look like they're enjoying what they're doing. There's claps on the backs, encouraging shouts, beaming grins. She wishes those were a part of the volleyball practices she was in, but finds that she's glad someone else can enjoy themselves.
—
Ann [7:43 P.M.]
u remember that time u said my art was shit
Shiho [7:43 P.M.]
you never let me forget
Ann [7:43 P.M.]
:/
ANYWAYS
i think ive gotten better
being around yusuke has like,, helped me realize im better than u say
Shiho [7:44 P.M.]
we were seven of course you were awful
Ann [7:44 P.M.]
STILL!!
Shiho finds herself rolling her eyes. Yusuke was a recent addition to Ann's mismatched group of friends-- an eccentric artist who goes to Kousei rather than Shujin. It's a wonder how they met, more-less even meet up outside of school. She's glad there's another to the list of Ann's friends-- even if it was a bit rocky in the start, if what Ann's told her is true.
The neighborhood is quiet for the most part. Well. It's always quiet, really. But it's particularly silent today-- absently, she realizes that she's coming home later than she usually would. The daylight's already waning, and people have already retreated home for dinner. She wonders if she's missed dinner herself.
Her parents haven't said much about how late she's been getting home. She doesn't know if they think she's in a club or something, or if they know she's just loitering instead of coming home. They don't say much to her these days. She's not sure if they've finally gave up on idle awkward conversations or not.
Shiho [7:44 P.M.]
is his overflowing creativity influencing you??
Ann [7:44 P.M.]
hopefully
maybe ill send u a nice ole portrait, yeah?
Shiho [7:45 P.M.]
it better be done in glitter pens or I dont want it!!
The house isn't quiet when she steps in. The TV is on for once, after a week of frustrating difficulty with hooking it up properly. There's the sound of dishes moving in the kitchen, clinking of porcelain on the counters, and ah. She hasn't missed dinner.
"Is that you, Shiho?" her mom calls out. She peering down the hall and directly spots her, standing in the foyer uncertainly. "Welcome back. We're having japchae."
"Ah. Alright," Shiho says absently. Japchae's a sit down meal in this household. She can't escape to her room with a bowl of it-- she'll be stuck at the table. She feels guilty with the way her shoulders tense and her legs don't move, because family dinner shouldn't stress her out this much. You're worrying over nothing, she thinks forcefully, and quietly takes off her shoes and sets down her bag.
Both of her parents are in the kitchen, her dad working on the setting the table, her mom with the japchae. They're seemingly content, weaving around each other and keeping pace in a conversation. They like this kitchen much more than their old one-- much more space, apparently, and the countertops are a lot prettier than the dull tan of the old apartment. She feels out of place, standing there, so she takes a seat even though she's antsy.
In no time, everything is set out on the table. Her parents sit across from each other, and she's stuck in the middle of them. The TV's volume has been lowered at some point, to a level that it's just a background noise that keeps the house from being overwhelmed by silence.
It's quiet at the table, though the dishes move and clink, and brief words of 'can you pass me the plate' and 'do you want seconds,' its quiet. There's no continuation of the conversation they were having in the kitchen earlier, even though it seemed like it could span on longer from what she could hear of it. Shiho's skin prickles at the silence, cause it's not exactly tense-- it's more calculating, more waiting for the proper time to speak and not seem off about it.
She wishes that eating her food quick wouldn't be seen as rude, or as a way to escape.
"So, how's school been, kiddo?" Her dad starts, breaking the ice. He actually makes eye contact with her. He doesn't glance away, avert his eyes-- it throws her off. There's very little guilt in his eyes, the kind that she's seen so much of in the past month. She can't tell if this conversation is genuine, or if he feels bad for not talking to her as much as a parent should.
Shiho feels her phone buzz in her pocket. It's probably Ann. She breathes in. "Like... Like how school normally is, I guess. Not interesting?"
Her mom blinks at her. "So you haven't had any problems catching up?"
Two months. She missed two months of school. (Her life, too). It's two months of stuff for all of her classes-- and the curriculum is different here. It would be basically starting from scratch. She struggled, and is still struggling-- it takes a lot to cram so much stuff missed into the time she has, and on top of that, learn what's being taught at the moment. She hasn't told them she's basically given up on catching up.
"Not really," she smiles something sheepish, something not really a smile. It'll work out most likely. She'll just have to cram more for the exams. "Just a little splotchy, I guess. There's a few things here that they learned that they didn't teach at Shujin."
"Ah. Have you asked for help from classmates or teachers?" Her mom questions. She's paused from eating. Not a good sign. She wants to have a conversation, now that she's got Shiho trapped under obligation for family dinners.
She debates lying. She's kept away from talking with anyone at school. It doesn't feel right to-- she doesn't exactly want to see their faces shift ever so slightly when she asks, coming something closer to pity towards her. She doesn't want to start, because then they'll come across the face that she doesn't know all that much anymore, and they'll ask why, and she cannot. Cannot. Let any of these students know of why she left Shujin. But her parents know she's been getting back late. They might want her to come home earlier to study more if she says she's avoided getting help. "Sometimes," she settles with. It's an answer that'll keep them from pushing.
The atmosphere shifts. She doesn't know if its for better or for worse, or if her parents are coming onto something. The dining table feels more like an interrogation table, and she just wishes that it wasn't rude to get up, clean her dishes, and flee.
"Have you joined any clubs, yet? Maybe considered any?" her dad prompts, because her mom is gnashing her teeth quietly, maybe trying to see if there was any underlying context or hints in her single word response.
They know she can't play sports anymore. They know. It's a blaring reminder on the forefront of their mind, every breathing second they look at her, because they see the old bruises and bandages and the leg brace when they didn't see before. They also know she can't paint, she can't sing, she can't act, she can't play an instrument, she can't do much of anything except volleyball and that had been torn from her hands.
"Um, no, not... not really," Shiho trails. She sees the question between the lines in bold text. Why are you coming home so late.
They know she doesn't have anything to do. She doesn't have Ann here. There's nothing in town to do. She's not in a club, she doesn't have a job. They probably have the sneaking suspicion she doesn't have friends, either.
She doesn't know if they're blaming themselves for that.
Her phone buzzes again, quietly, like a reassurance. She tries to harbor the confidence Ann has for her.
"I've. I've been helping around the school n stuff." Her mouth tastes like ash. She hasn't. She hasn't given Yasogami more thought that it deserves. "Kinda... y'know, helping organize the library." If you stretch it till its paper thin, you could possibly call it a truth. Occasionally she'll pick up an left behind book and put it back where it belongs. She really only sits and burns time in the library rather than voluntarily go out and help around. But its so far from what she's saying, and her knuckles creak on the edge of her seat.
"Ah, so a library helper!" Her mom latches onto this, eyes twinkling.
Shiho smiles sheepishly. "Sure. Yeah. Somewhat."
All she can taste is ash, and she tries to eat some more, but it tastes like nothing. It's good to lie sometimes, right? Some lies are good. White lies. Her parents have been so cautious around her-- she doesn't think she can handle them if she was truthful. She doesn't think she can handle their gentle words, their encouragements, their earnest pleas of please try because she can't help simmering on the idea that they're only trying so hard to make up for when they overlooked bruises that couldn't have come from just volleyball practice. To make up for not realizing that one morning she planned on not returning home that day.
The rest of dinner fades into the back of her mind. Her dad starts talking about his old job as a librarian years ago, and her mom bounces back with stories of her own. She eats absently, her arms and legs and body so heavy with the brush of guilt. After washing the dishes, she leaves politely, having dipped out of the conversation a while ago. Her legs ache when she goes to her room and flops onto her bed.
For a moment, she just lies there, letting her nerves settle into something manageable. She mourns for the time she could eat peacefully with her parents.
She pulls her phone out absently. The case is peeling. She might need a new one soon.
Ann [7:45 P.M.]
as if i would draw with anything else that's not glitter
u insult me
jfjlsdfj just got takoyaki its crazy good
ill drag u here to get some its??
not greasy enough to kill my appetite for once !!
Shiho [8:01 P.M.]
sorry had to eat
damn who convinced you to eat takoyaki
usually you'd look at me like i was asking ya to die if i suggested it ://
Ann [8:01 P.M.]
yusuke wanted to try some
dude only eats cup noodles, can u believe it!!
i feel like... completely obligated to expand his horizons
Shiho [8:02 P.M.]
holy shit
only cup noodles? how has he not died of sodium??
Ann [8:02 A.M.]
art jesus might be lookin down on him
well maybe not
he aint doing a good job keeping yusuke from spending all his goddam money on art. supplies
thats the only reason he really eats cup noodles
he broke
i might have to teach him the ways of budgeting
Shiho [8:02 P.M.]
ah yes
you
takamaki ann
the one who most definitely does not spend all of her allowance on clothes the day she gets it
Ann [8:02 P.M.]
why cant u let me dream
—
Maybe the best part about being quiet and fading into the background is that she learns a lot about the people around her. She knows her seat mate plays clarinet and really sucks at science, the boy in the front row two from the window works with his parents at an old liquor store and may or may not have brought some to school, the buzzcut boy who comes in during lunch to eat with the boy directly in front of her is crushing hard on a third year and plans on asking her out, and the girl with the red cardigan in the middle row is the daughter of Amagi Inn and was missing for a week just last month.
She seems fine and dandy for having been missing. Shiho doesn't know if she can take it as a sign that Tatsumi Kanji will be found and be okay-- if she's fine, he might be too, right?
It doesn't help that in the same line of conversation she's listening in on she learns of two recent murders of a news reporter and a student at Yasogami.
With the way people of Inaba are so gossip-y, she's kinda surprised and alarmed she didn't hear about this from day one. She only learned of Tatsumi from a policeman-- would she have never heard of him if it weren't for that encounter? And-- the policeman didn't say anything about the murders. She personally thinks that would be the number one thing to tell people, especially those who just moved there, that yes, there was most definitely someone going around Inaba killing and kidnapping people.
Two murders and two missing cases. Nothing happens here-- shouldn't that be the talk of the town or something? Maybe everyone was so used to each other that they just couldn't believe that someone decided to turn a new leaf and go nuts, or they're all just very good at acting like there was nothing disrupting their quiet routine of the countryside.
Shiho wonders if her parents are even vaguely aware of this. They-- they have to be, right? They talk with the townsfolk much more than she does. It could be that the reason Shiho didn't know was because she just doesn't talk to people. But-- they still let her roam free after school (though she isn't doing what they think she's doing). Her dad had been so tense after the encounter with the police officer, too-- the prospect of kidnapping and missing high school kids is one hell of a detour from the fresh new start they thought Inaba could provide. Surely that would have made them more worried--?
And, now that she thinks of it; she doesn't know how much it affects Inaba overall. She doesn't know how many students go straight home after school, or how many families are on edge. She doesn't know if relationships are more tense, because the killer and kidnapper is somewhere, but who?
She feels like a creep for glancing over to the girl with the red cardigan, but what the hell. She laughs with her group of friends, eyes crinkled and nose scrunched until her laugh becomes closer to an ugly laugh. Would she have seen whoever it was? She-- she had to, right?
Shiho adverts her eyes. This town is weird, is what she settles on.
"Ah-- Suzui-san?"
Startled, she looks up. It's her seat mate's friend. She has long hair and teardrop-shaped eyes, and distantly reminds Shiho of a classmate from Shujin. It's enough to make her long for that goddamn school, with its stupid cursed hallways, cursed classrooms.
"Yes?" Shiho says belatedly, realizing a moment late that she's meant to respond. The girl doesn't seem to mind, though-- she smiles politely, and Shiho tries to not feel silly.
"Have you joined any clubs, yet?" she asks airly. Shiho pauses and wonders why is this the question of the week. She misreads Shiho's brief silence as something else, and adds on quickly, "I, uh, I've got the responsibility of recruiting for the girl's soccer team, and if you're interested..."
Ah. Shiho smiles, even though she becomes conscious of the thudding ache in her legs. She's touched, honestly, even though it's a thing she can never partake in, because the other still asked and that's really really nice of her. She wanted to try playing soccer, once. "Ah, um. I'm sorry," she starts, and the other deflates slightly. "I-- I would, honestly, but the weather around here's been making my legs act up. I don't think I'd be able to play reliably..."
The other girl smiles sheepishly and grows flustered. Her seat mate blinks in surprise, having listened in but not disruptively. "No, I totally understand! Leg injuries are awful-- sorry, I didn't realize..." she rubs the back of her neck.
Shiho waves away the apology, "It's no problem, I, I don't exactly wear my knee brace as much as I should." The doctors told her to keep from doing too much physical activity, as it always had the chance of old wounds becoming agitated and unbearable. The hills around here were enough of a hike to strain the idea of physical activity.
"Woah, what did you even do?" her seat mate asks, too blunt and a little too loudly. It brings the attention of some students, who look over curiously to what she's asking. She glances down openly towards Shiho's knee, the one with the brace fit snuggly over it. Her friend swipes at her arm, chastising her, saying its rude. Shiho's shoulders pull in at all the attention.
She shrugs. "Bad fall."
—
It definitely says something when one of the biggest things in Inaba is the department store. Especially one that has possibly the most grating jingles around.
She doesn't know where to start. Clutched in her hand is a grocery list from her mom, who had smiled sheepishly and handed it to her a handful of minutes after she got home. Junes was only a long walk away, it's not like she could refuse. It wasn't a long list, but this place is fairly huge-- she hopes she doesn't spend more than an hour here.
She must've come in at some kind of rush hour-- there's enough people in here that she occasionally has to wedge by a couple people standing and chatting in the middle of the isle, which really sucks because sometimes they're standing in front of the things she needs and she does not have the guts to tell someone to take their conversation elsewhere because they're standing in front of the stupid chives.
Tthe further into the store she gets, the less people she sees. Then again, she feels like she's getting more and more lost-- this place is impossibly big. Its so dim and spacious and the music is so distant if she didn't know any better she'd think she was in a twilight zone of some sort. Must be the lighting or something. Maybe the music? Or maybe the way that every isle looks basically the same? It definitely competes with the 777s she used to visit in the middle of the night. Now those were definitely liminal spaces.
Even though 777s were gross and small and usually understocked, it was probably the place Shiho went to the most besides home and school. It had the food her parents sent her out to get last minute, and it was the place where the slushie machines were. Although she swore up and down that she was on a terrible strict diet, Ann always wanted to get some kind of slushie at the 777 if they weren't around the crepe shop in Shibuya. The cashier recognized them, even told them what flavors were out when they came in. They weren't even that good-- they just happen to be cheap and sweet, and that's all it really takes to be a godsend at one in the morning.
Wasn't there some sort of food court near the entrance of this place? Maybe they have a slushie machine? Hopefully they're not too uppity about the machine so she could make unfathomable combos of flavors that should not be mixed. Even if those slushies make her teeth ache from artificial flavoring and gross amounts of sugar, she's craving one now that she's thinking about it.
Shiho sighs, grabbing a small bag of rice and absently checking her phone. It was quiet, the screen devoid of messages from either Ann or her parents. Her parents' silence she could understand-- they preferred to call. But Ann? Ann's been crazy busy recently-- modeling gigs usually don't take all that long, do they? Shiho wonders, looking up in thought. She once wanted to tag along and watch what its like, but Ann had been so adamant on her not going because her coworker was a bitch or something along that line. Maybe some days the shoots are longer...?
And it crosses her. I wonder if they have any magazines with her in it around here! She thinks, smiling at the idea of it. There's probably magazine stands near the check out, or somewhere else in this store. She just needs to get two more things and then she can go--!
There is a child down the isle, looking up longingly towards some pudding cups that are most definitely out of her reach.
Shiho stops. And she looks. Looks for a while. What the hell. This kid cannot be older than six, and she is standing alone in a department store. Alone.
Sure, the store's full of cameras and people to witness, but isn't it dangerous to leave a kid unattended? Maybe she's lost? No-- she looks surefooted, somehow, for a six year old. Maybe her parent stepped into another isle, accidentally leaving her to linger in front of the pudding...?
She is giving the pudding the look of a life time-- there is so much longing in her eyes. How in the hell can there be so much want in a kid's eyes? The only way she would be able to reach the pudding is by climbing the shelves, and she looks too nervous to try, but Shiho knows the kid seriously considered doing it at some point.
Shiho shuffles her feet. She's got to do something about this kid being alone, right? It's the proper thing to do, isn't it? It wouldn't sit right in her stomach if she left the kid to her own devices if she actually was lost or left behind. Ah-- but what if she freaks out? Shiho doesn't think she looks scary, but children are unpredictable and being approached by anyone when scared is a catalyst to a meltdown. Then again, this kid doesn't look scared or lost. So, maybe...
"Um," she finds herself starting, a bit weak. The girl didn't hear her. "Uh. Do you need any help?"
Large brown eyes turn to her. The little girl has pigtails and possibly one of the most mixed emotion looks she's ever seen. It's caught somewhere between distraught and sorrowful, and it's probably because she's maybe two feet too short from being able to reach those pudding cups. She looks back towards the top shelves slowly. "Um. If it wouldn't be much trouble..." she says, voice quiet and high and looks away shyly. She looks really put out from her inability to reach up that high.
In three long strides, Shiho stands next to the little girl and reaches up, shifting the basket in her arms so it doesn't knock into the kid's head. "These?" she asks, hand hovering just in front of the special, limited edition chocolate swirl pudding. The girl nods a yes, and Shiho hands it to her. She holds it like its made of pure gold, and it's really cute to see how enamored she is with it.
"Hey, um," Shiho starts, pulling the girl's attention from the pack. It's some kind of social obligation to help lonely kids in stores, right? No one really had a protocol to follow when doing it, and she doesn't want to scare the kid off. "Are you alone?" Shiho asks, trying not to feel awkward under the curious look of this kid. She winces, because that sounded really weird, much weirder than she thought it would be.
The little girl, surprisingly, frowns, like she's not sure of the answer. "No. Yes. Kinda? Big Bro said I could get some pudding if I wanted to. He's at the check out right now."
"He let you come all the way here by yourself?" She isn't sure what kind of brother this dude is, but honestly? Would it kill him to come with his younger sister to get some pudding? It couldn't be that much of a pain to do.
The girl looks to the pudding pack in her hands sheepishly. "I said I could. The lines were long at check out and I didn't want to lose our spot so I said I could find it..."
What the hell are kids. What the hell is this kid in particular, for she's being crazy grown-up for her mere age of possibly-six.
Shiho looks to the basket she's carrying. She still hasn't gotten panko or oats, but she can put that aside for another day. She kinda wants to just help this kid now. "Um. I was just about to go to check out. Do you want me to walk with you back to find your brother?" she asks lightly, hopefully not being creepy. Thankfully, a small, shy smile comes onto the girl's face, and she nods.
The girl looks around absently as they go through the isles, eyes lingering on brightly-packaged items. She clutches the pudding like a life-line, though sometimes she looks like she wants to grab something else but quickly retains herself. Shiho is quite honestly charmed by how bright-eyed she is.
"Is that your favorite flavor of pudding?" Shiho asks in lieu of conversation, though they shouldn't be far from the check-out. The girl blinks and looks down accordingly to the packaging. She looks at it with an intensity to it, as if she's thinking deeply about the question.
"I dunno! I haven't tried that many, but I do like this one." She looks up with blinking doe eyes. "What's your favorite, miss?"
They walk out of the isles, and ah, good, there's the check-out. Thank god she remembered the way to the check-out. The girl wasn't wrong-- the lines are pretty lengthy. She wouldn't want to give up a spot in the queues either. "I think I like the caramel chocolate ones," Shiho says absently, peering towards the lines, trying to see anyone who may be this kid's 'Big Bro.' The little girl seems to be doing the same, bowing over and swiveling her head around, and then perks up.
"I see him!" she nearly squeals, and hurries down towards the line. Shiho follows at a much slower pace though she probably doesn't need to, but she just wants to make sure the girl's alright. She watches as her brown pigtails bounce as she turns into a register lane, watches as a bright smile grows on her face. The girl stops in front of someone, who had just started putting the things in their basket onto the conveyer belt. Shiho looks up, and--
Small world, huh, she thinks, but then feels dumb because it's a small town and of course she's going to see her classmates outside of class at some point. It's the silver-haired boy, the one that sits in the middle of the classroom. He's friends with the red-cardigan girl, and the two brunettes who stood up for Kanji Tatsumi the first day she was at Yasogami. She doesn't know anything about him.
The girl beams up to him, and he smiles something soft back to her. Taking the pudding pack with deft fingers and placing it on the conveyer belt, he nods and listens to the girl chattering to him. After a moment, the girl spins around, easily spying Shiho as if purposely looking for her, and waves. Shiho waves back and then gives a thumbs up, which seems to make the little girl more excited.
She looks up from the girl and makes eye contact with her classmate. He blinks-- either in surprise, or maybe she's just trying to read too deeply into things that don't mean anything. He bows his head towards her, perhaps in thanks, and then turns back to the register. Shiho bows back even though he's not looking at her, feels stupid, and since she's already here, steps into the queue.
#persona 5#p5#persona 4#p4#persona#shiho suzui#seta souji#yu narukami#ann takamaki#just realized italics don't transfer well :(
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RFA React to MC looking at Them like They’re the Entire Universe and More in a Photo
ok so this sounds like a dumb scenario but i just took a picture with a few friends of mine a couple hours ago and in the picture i'm looking at my boyfriend while laughing and it looks like i'm in love with him (which i am) and also like he's my entire world and more so i wanted to make this a scenario of sorts idk man
if you all like this enough i could do v + saeran and possibly vanderwood but it really depends haha. that’s all for now please enjoy!
YOOSUNG:
-y'all went to a fishing trip with the RFA that saeyoung suggested as a way to get 'closer'
-yoosung was really excited because he got to spend time with some of his favorite people ever as well as you!!! what else in the entire world could he have wanted more than that??
-so you two packed up what little essentials for fishing you had and headed out for the day
-when you finally got there most of the time was spent trying to explain to jumin that no, he couldn't pay someone else to do this for him and then at other times helping calm down zen after a fish came too close to his 'precious' face
-even though there were moments where jaehee looked like she was about to kill saeyoung for throwing a fish into her lap it was a fun time
-to commemorate the day together y'all decided to take a picture together with your phone
-while saeyoung was focusing the camera yoosung said something funny that made you burst out in a small fit of giggles while staring at him
-before you could even prepare the picture was taken and you felt yourself grow embarrassed at the outcome
-everyone was smiling and doing cute lil hand poses but you
-you were definitely smiling but you weren't looking at the camera, instead you were staring at yoosung with this sparkle in your eye that caused a deep red to cover your face
-"the way she looks at him, it's almost as if though he's her entire world and more." jaehee said while hiding a small smile
-"get you a girl that looks at you like MC looks at yoosung." saeyoung said while choking back a small laugh
-"wow! look at mc you guys, looking at yoosung like she's in love with him!" zen continued on with a small smile
-"maybe she looks at him like that because they are in love??"
jumin said in a confused tone, obviously not catching onto the jokes
-a few of the members groaned at jumin's obliviousness as they looked over at yoosung who was smiling at the picture on your phone fondly
-you peeked at his face while trying to calm the violent blush painting your features
-"it's funny you're looking at me like i'm the universe and more, when you're even more than that to me."
-cue everyone literally blushing and internally dying at how precious their youngest RFA member still is
-yoosung now keeps that photo framed in his office, even after years of taking it, just so he can be able to see your precious face looking at only him like that
ZEN:
-aight so this man loves taking selfies
-it didn't take you that long to figure that out
-at every moment of every day you were together he would come up to take 'unexpected' pics of you
-but he was a fool! after a week of surprise selfies you got used to it, and could now strike a cute pose to match zen's beauty in every picture
-one day y'all were just having a normal rehearsal dinner with his cast when zen (who else would it have been??) declared they should take a group picture that he could post on social media to hype up the release of the musical
-so everybody agreed and begin to come close together to take the picture
-zen unexpectedly put his arm around you and said something along the lines of "smile, my beautiful princess"
-so ofc you were all smiley and blushy while looking over at him
-before you even had time to snap back to reality the flash went off and the picture was taken
-fRICK
-everybody was passing around zen's phone looking at the picture making vague offhand comments about 'the look in mc's eyes' when it finally got to you and zen
-zen stared at it for a second, a wide smile pulling at his features before he looked over at you with a small blush painting his cheeks
-"what??" you finally said
-"look at the way you're looking at me babe."
-he handed you his phone and you looked over at yourself
-your eyes were all glazed over because of the flash and a warm smile was on your face all while you stared at a gorgeous zen smiling at the camera looking like the most beautiful man in the world
-"ah, true love." a co-star commented
-you were beyond embarrassed!! the way you were looking at zen was so precious and whimsical and god it was just so embarrassing
-"do you really love me so much that you look at me like i'm the entire night sky babe??? aahhh that's so sweet of you. it makes the beast inside of me awaken just a tad-"
-"zEN PLEASE"
-he has the pic as his profile picture on all his social media accounts, each one zoomed in onto your face and eyes, staring lovingly at his gorgeous face
JAEHEE:
-you guys rarely took pictures together since y'all were so busy with the cafe all the time
-but today was a special day!!
-it was the one year anniversary of the cafe opening and you saw it necessary to take a picture to commemorate such a big milestone
-jaehee was a little hesitant but agreed on the terms that some would be professional and others would be silly
-so y'all set up a camera on a stand and put it on a timer and started taking a bunch of silly pics together, some of them being professional
-you didn't realize even realize it but at one point all you were doing was laughing at jaehee trying to push all her hair out of her face
-when the little photo shoot of sorts ended y'all went into your shared apartment and started looking over them together
-the first few were cute, just mundane peace signs and sweet smiles
-then at one point jaehee's bangs went in front of her face and you looked like you were dying of laughter
-towards the end of the of the pictures there was one particular one that jaehee looked at for a long time
-it was one where she was laughing while tucking her hair back into place and you were smiling fondly while looking at her with such a loving gaze
-she blushed and said nothing and just continued on to look through them, commenting now and again just how silly some of them were
-the picture was never brought up again but a few weeks later you found out jaehee had not only put it up as her profile picture in the chat room but also printed a copy and stuck it neatly on your bedside table
-you didn't say anything about it but every time you saw it you were embarrassed but also a little glad to know that it was clear to see just how much you loved her
JUMIN:
-the only pictures that are ever released the public of you two are serious ones or ones of you both looking absolutely gorgeous while getting off your private jet or coming home from the airport
-but there have been dOZENS of pictures of you that jumin has always kept hidden from the world and all of his friends
-pictures only he could ever see.
-these pictures were usually taken during silly photo shoots, a small thing you both did every month
-you let him try to take pictures of you just smiling and he struggles but he's trying his best to capture your cute lil poses stop teasing him!!
-most of the time you're the one taking pictures of him struggling to do a peace sign but other times you take pictures of you both doing cute poses or kissing one another
-one time v offered to take pictures as a way to celebrate your wedding anniversary and you both agreed because v was a close friend and jumin wanted a chance to see his beautiful partner in wedding attire again
-so you two began doing the photo shoot with serious and sweet poses
-one photo was of jumin tipping your chin up to meet his gaze
-another was of him wrapping his arms around your waist and laying his head on your shoulder and there were dozens of others alike to those two
-but then in some you both were making stupid faces to each other and then finally, in the last one jumin said something that made your heart curl
-"i love you with all my heart mc, i wish i could marry you over and over and over again, just so i could see your precious face smiling at me while i slipped the ring onto your finger. is that selfish of me? i hope you feel the same, my love. let us spend the rest of our lives together, a life that will hopefully be filled with all your silly jokes and faces. things i fell in love with just as much as i fell in love with you. happy anniversary darling, i love you."
-you were on the verge of tears and had no words to even explain what you were feeling but you just let out a small chuckle while staring lovingly at him while he looked over at the camera
-next thing you know the flash went off and you were now going over all the pictures together with jumin
-all of them were absolutely gorgeous (what else did you expect of v mc??) but your favorite had to be the one where you were sticking your tongue out at jumin and he was doing the same to you
-his favorite was the very last one
-one where you were looking at him with so much love in your eyes he could practically feel it radiating off the camera
-though you were embarrassed you were really happy
-he soon after put the picture everywhere he could
-in his office, in your office, in your bedroom, in a giant portrait right above the sofa
-everywhere
-though it was embarrassing it made you happy so it was alright
SAEYOUNG:
-he has like a thousand and one pics of you on his phone but little to none of you both
-all the pictures he has of you range from you in sexy lingerie to a bad angle of you sneezing while brushing your teeth
-he loves all of them just the same though
-one day he wanted to do a cosplay photo shoot with you which you agreed to since most of the time it was fun teasing each other back and forth about just how short your maid skirts were
-so he set up a camera you didn't even know existed and immediately started posing all cute and such
-you tried to follow his lead but fell behind after a while and just stood back basking in all of his cute and over the top poses
-at one point all you were doing was laughing while he made the most ridiculous 'sultry' faces he could at the camera
-when it was over you two stayed in your costumes and went over the pictures
-you couldn't stop laughing at all his silliness and he couldn't stop laughing because you were laughing!!
-it took forever because of your constant giggles and chuckles but you both made it through all of the photos
-you caught what was just a glimpse of one more photo which was just of you smiling at saeyoung while he side eyed you, a smile of his own pulling at his soft features
-you felt your heart leap in your throats as he wrapped his arms around your waist and kisses your forehead
-"thank you, mc. i'm really happy." was all he said as he pulled you closer towards his torso
-you hugged him back and you both stayed there for a while, just embracing one another silently
-a few weeks later you came into your shared bedroom casually, almost missing the giant portrait of you two that was covering up an entire wall
-"saeyoung?"
-"yeeesss honey??"
-"why, why is there an entire wall covered in a picture of me staring at you."
-"because the way you were looking at me was just so cute i couldn't just let the opportunity of your cute smiling face pass by so easily!! look at you!! look at me!! look at our outfits! this is the best picture we've ever taken together."
-"oh. saeyoung?"
-"yes?"
-"i hate that you are the love of my life so much."
#mystic messenger#mystic messenger headcannon#mystic messenger headcanon#mystic messenger scenarios#mysme#mysme headcanon#mysme headcannon#yoosung#zen#jaehee#jumin#saeyoung#707#luciel#yoosung kim#hyun ryu#jaehee kang#jumin han#saeyoung choi#luciel choi#yoosung mystic messenger#zen mystic messenger#jaehee mystic messenger#jumin mystic messenger#saeyoung mystic messenger#707 mystic messenger#luciel mystic messenger
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((y’know what? i’ve written a few fics with sammy and susie, and people have been asking for more henry and dianne content. here’s a fic about how henry and dianne met for all you lovely folks out there. excuse the mess, im still not used to writing xD The only thing that’s changed since that art I drew of this scenario months back is that Dianne’s a waitress now, not a random patron. here’s the AO3 link for anyone that wants it. Anyway, enjoy.))
[[do not repost to other websites]]
Henry, on most days, wouldn't consider himself the type of person to turn down a free lunch. Free food was free food, especially in this economy. Money was tight, and even if his job as an animator paid well he still couldn’t afford to turn down a free meal. The studio he worked at had an overabundance of canned bacon soup that nearly nobody was eating, and it was made free to anyone that would eat it in an effort to get rid of it. As such, his lunch breaks usually consisted of him sitting in the breakroom, downing a few cans and drawing. Though, eating the same thing almost every day for years... well, some days he can't stand to look at the stuff. This sunny spring Tuesday was one of those unusual days. 12:30PM rolled around and he took his sketchbook with him as he got up and walked to the studio exit. The cool, crisp air that greeted him as he opened the front doors was refreshing; it was a pleasant change from the smoke and ink-fume filled air he was far too used to.
While his favorite sandwich shop was only a five minute walk from the studio, he still kept a quick pace. He only had an hour, and he wanted to enjoy as much of it as possible. He held his sketchbook firmly under his left arm as he walked quickly along the crowded city sidewalks, sometimes throwing the occasional glance to the street where cars drove by. If the place wasn't already so close to the studio and he wasn't in need of exercise, he'd probably be in the traffic himself.
A bell chimed as he opened the door to the small corner shop. The place was never terribly busy, and somehow his favorite booth was always free. The booth was perfectly in the middle of the row that stretched along the windows in the front. He sat down, opened his sketchbook to a new page, and reached for the pencil he always kept behind his ear-
...only to find, it was missing. Reaching into his sweater he found the one he kept in his dress shirt pocket was absent as well. Pencils falling from behind his ear when he wore glasses was a normal occurrence. He had no idea where the other one went.
He sighed, and just as he did a waitress conveniently appeared by his table. Before she could deliver her usual welcoming line, he cut in.
"You wouldn't happen to have a spare pencil, would you?"
The waitress, who was named Dianne according to her name tag, seemed taken aback for a brief moment. That was not the response she was expecting, she felt like she'd been running on autopilot for the past hour and people weren't supposed to speak before she did. As she came back to her senses, the question registered in her mind. Did she have a spare pencil? Of course she had spares. She didn't have time to sit around sharpening pencils every time they broke while she wrote orders, so she kept a few on her at all times for when the inevitable happened. She retrieved one from her light-blue uniform's skirt pocket and held it out for him with a smile.
"Thank you." He nodded, accepting it.
"Now, what can I get for you?"
A half hour later, he'd already filled a page with this Dianne woman. He meant to do one simple sketch to leave with her and the pencil he borrowed as a way to say thanks, but as it turns out she was quite beautiful and quite fun to draw. As discreetly as he could (which, for the record, was not very) he watched her take orders and walk to and from the kitchen. Their gazes met a few times and every time he looked away more frantically, hoping not to give her the wrong idea. If he didn't care, he could stare into her enchanting green eyes all day, or watch her almost constantly brush a stray lock of medium-brown hair behind her ear only for it to float back in front of her face seconds later. It was rather endearing.
Henry had been so captivated by drawing he nearly forgot he was on lunch break, and he'd been neglecting his turkey sandwich. According to his watch, he had twenty minutes left before he would have to return to the studio. Pushing his sketchbook aside he turned his attention back to his food, and watched the world outside the window as he ate. People passed by, cars drove nearly bumper-to-bumper down the street, and behind him he could hear the ambiance of the cozy little restaurant. There were a few people around him chatting among themselves, and clatter from the kitchen that funneled through the small window behind the counter. This was one of his favorite places in the city, if he was honest. If he didn't have to return to the studio soon he would keep ordering sandwiches and drawing for as long as he could. The only way it could get any better in this moment would be if it started to rain.
"So you were staring at me so you could... draw me?"
He froze at the voice he recognized as the waitress coming from behind him. Turning slowly he saw she was holding his sketchbook and leaning on the booth's seat. Realizing she mentioned how he had been staring, his eyes widened and he felt himself turn bright red. With the way she looked at the resulting page and smiled though, he figured she didn't exactly mind.
"Yeah, you're a really good model."
"Well, you're a really good artist." She responded with a chuckle.
"Oh, thank you."
He almost had a heart attack when, without taking her gaze from his sketchbook, she took a seat across from him in the booth. He wasn't sure if he was happy about this or not.
"Would you mind if I...?" She looked up at him as she went to turn the page. Oh god, she wanted to look through the thing. There was nothing strange or embarrassing in this particular book, only life drawings like the page she'd been fawning over, but he still felt a little uneasy about letting her thumb through it.
"No, not at all. Go right ahead." He noticed he'd been bouncing his leg, which he knew he hadn't been doing until she started talking to him. With every page she turned she only seemed to be more amazed.
"I'd like to correct my earlier statement, you're an amazing artist, Mr...?"
She was looking at him again. He was briefly lost in her gaze before realizing he was just asked a question. Idiot, he hissed in his head.
"Henry!" He offered a handshake. "Henry Batim."
She shook his hand.
"That's... an interesting last name. French?"
"I'm not too sure, actually. You'd think with as often as I'm asked that I would have looked into it by now." He nervously laughed. "And you are?"
"Dianne Collins." She smiled now, smiled at him... and he couldn't help but smile back.
"Nice to meet you, Dianne."
"Nice to meet you too." She let go of his hand before he let go of hers, and she went back to flipping through the sketchbook.
"So how long have you been drawing?"
"Oh, about... Always? I can't remember a time in my life where I wasn't drawing."
"It certainly shows, these are incredible. I could never get the hang of drawing, nothing ever came out right. You, on the other hand..."
"Well, it all comes with practice. If you think those are good, you should see the stuff I actually put effort into." Did he sound modest or conceited? 'Look at me, apparently my dumb sketches look magnificent, I bet if I showed you my finished works you'd-'
"Really? What kind of things do you draw?"
"Anything that catches my interest. Landscapes, portraits..." 'Would she be impressed if I told her I drew cartoons for a living?'
"That sounds wonderful, I'd love to see them some time."
"I'm... free after work, at six. Maybe we could get dinner and I could show you more?"
"Sounds fun, Henry. Where do you work?"
"Just down the street, you know where Joey Drew Studios is?"
"You work for Joey Drew, making those little cartoons?" She asked. He nodded and held his breath.
"That's amazing!" She cheered. He sighed, relieved. "You have to tell me how you came to work at Joey Drew Studios of all places tonight."
"Dinner, art, and a history lesson? Sounds like a date."
She closed his sketchbook and handed it back to him. Their fingers brushed against each other as he took it, and his heart skipped a beat.
"See you at the studio doors around six, then." She said, getting out of the booth and heading back to the kitchen.
"See you then!" He called back to her. Before closing the kitchen door they shared one more smile as she waved at him and he waved back. After the door swung shut he looked down at his sketchbook in front of him, his mind already swarming with thoughts about what happened and the fact that he apparently had a date tonight.
...Wait, he had a date now?
#batim#bendy and the ink machine#henry batim#dianne collins#fanfic#and then obviously that date went super well so they set up another one and another one and another one and at some point they actually beca#became a couple and they kept dating and he proposes and they got married two months ago#~ * ~ y a y ~ * ~#bonus: henry ends up back to the studio just a liittle late and joey's waiting for him Concerned because he's usually back early if anything#when he's asked why he's late he says JOEY I THINK I MET SOMEONE and joey instantly drops all concern#and is asking for details#mun writes#henry x dianne
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Fic Rec!
Ive read and bookmarked a bunch of fics that i particularily liked, so im sharing them now! i hope you enjoy !
* = personal favourite
Open At The Touch (6,5k)
Maybe Nishigori got ahold of a lock of Viktor's hair, and some Polyjuice potion. Maybe it's all an elaborate prank. With this as his only reasonable explanation, he steps forward, snags Viktor by his robes and tugs him in.
"Nishigori," he says in Japanese, "this prank isn't funny. Your English is better than when I left, though."
"Ah," says the fake Viktor Nikiforov in English, voice dipping, and is he blushing? "What was that?"
"Maybe I got hit in the head by a Bludger," Yuuri muses. Viktor's smile grows ever wider, tightening at the edges. "Maybe I never came home from my international Quidditch competition. Maybe I'm lying in the hospital right now, hallucinating."
There has to be an explanation, mystical and magical or medical, for the best Seeker in the Quidditch world showing up at his door; something besides his portrait, which won't stop talking to Yuuri anyway.
Coming to Terms (10k)
Victor's realization wasn’t a pinpoint. It was a culmination of years of knowing something was different. An ache without a name.
A story about Victor learning, accepting, and loving himself as a gay man.
The Tsesarevich lives! (50k)
An Anastasia AU.
Victor is an orphan with no name, no family, and no memory of a time before he was ten years old. Could he really be the missing Nikiforov heir? An adventure across Europe with two conmen will lead him to the answer.
Say I'm The One (2k)*
Viktor leans forward, the curve of his smile soft. Achingly, Yuuri’s fingers imagine what it’d be like to trace it.
“You think I want to romance celebrities?”
“Well, you’re a celebrity,” Yuuri feebly tries to explain.
“Exactly. Now you’re just being ridiculous,” Viktor counters, smirk growing. “The one romancing a celebrity is you."
Viktor and Yuuri get caught in a rainstorm on the way home from practice.
To Boldly Go (30k)*
“Yuuri!” Viktor calls. “I’ve come to rescue you!”
Yuuri stares at him blankly. He gestures to the various unconscious space pirates with his recently discharged phaser.
“Oh, Captain,” he deadpans. “Save me.”
Or:
A year in the life of badass science officer Yuuri Katsuki, Captain Viktor “Team Mom” Nikiforov, and simultaneously the best crew and worst crew in Starfleet history.
(No prior Star Trek knowledge needed! It’s a loose AU!)
Bestseller (20k)
Reincarnation AU. Bestselling author Yuuri Katsuki often gets asked where his source of inspiration for his novel series comes from. Yuuri always puts on his best smile and gives the generic answer. However, his minds wanders back to the old journal sitting on his desk, and the dreams of a familiar blue eyed stranger.
Have You Heard? (4k)*
According to rumors, Viktor Nikiforov had been seen crying in the E building’s staircase. No one really seemed to know what was the reason, but everyone were terribly curious about it.
Spotlight (2k)
He can't help how embarrassed he sounds as he tries to hide himself in the pillow, and Viktor's laugh is so lovely - and so helpless, so blatantly in love - that it has Yuuri squirming all over again, the wave of protectiveness stealing his breath away.
Oh, Viktor.
"I suppose that's fair, darling. I am pretty incorrigible."
He's smiling, as he says it, and his voice is light, but Yuuri knows better, now. He can hear that tiny, barely there, desperately hidden thread of self-doubt, as clearly as if Viktor were shouting it.
Am I too much?
Viktor doesn't need to say it for Yuuri to hear it. He's pretty sure Viktor's spent too long feeling like he's too much of something - too loud, too clingy, too needy - for him to just shrug it off.
Yuuri knows a little bit about self-esteem. He knows a little bit about trying to kick years of fucked up thinking. And he's damn well going to keep making sure that Viktor knows he can always be as too much as he wants to be.
You can have everything... (12,5k)
AU. Before the Grand Prix Final starts in Sochi, Yuuri finds Victor's phone. He returns it--and hijinks and heavy flirtation ensue.
Fields of Gold (14,5k)
It’s difficult to believe that he’s inspired people like this; that children and teenagers in Japan and around the world lace up their skates or put on skates for the first time and think of Yuuri Katsuki, just like they think of or thought of Victor Nikiforov. He almost can’t take it. It’s too unbelievable. He’s just… Yuuri, after all.
Yuuri Katsuki with a stack of gold medals is still just Yuuri Katsuki.
He can imagine Victor repeating the same words back to him with his own name and how he’d argue that is absolutely not the case, and he laughs inwardly a bit at that.
(The story in which Yuuri Katsuki wins everything there is to win and retires as Japan's living legend, because he's incredible and beautiful and he deserves it. Aka 'Yuuri wins all the gold', the fic.)
Puppy Love (10k)
When Yuuri gets turned into a dog, the last place he expects to end up is Victor Nikiforov's apartment. He learns quickly that the only thing worse than being his idol's pet, is watching him pine for someone else.
Warning: Makkachin has recently passed away at the start of this story.
Twenty-Five Hours (23k)
In which Yuuri spends a 25 hour flight next to Victor Nikiforov, skating legend, and feels it might simultaneously be the best and worst thing that has ever happened to him.
silver scales and golden wishing wells (13k)*
the knights fought valiantly, they have slayed the dragon
Yuuri cried from days on end... he loved that dragon
to the winner goes the gold (900)
In which Yuuri and Viktor are competing against each other in the following year's Grand Prix Final, and they're still (very much) smitten with each other.
“Skater Katsuki, anything you want to say to your fellow skaters before the competition?”
“Viktor Nikiforov,” Katsuki says, “just know that once I win gold, you’ll be doing the dishes for an entire month.”
Then he smiles again, sweet and warm, before giving a little wave and heading off through the hall.
cover story (8k)
Yuuri stares down at the person standing in the doorway. The stranger hisses, "Who do you think you are, anyways?"
Quickly, before he can really think about it, Yuuri responds, "I'm Victor's boyfriend."
It's a lie, but the words feel good in his mouth, and for some reason, he doesn't want to take them back.
Katsudon (7,5k)
Hiroko doesn’t need to see to coat pork cutlets in egg and panko. She has made this dish for her family for over thirty years; she’ll make it another thirty, if she’s lucky.
Now she makes it for Yuuri and Victor as they fly home from Barcelona, with silver around their necks and gold around their fingers.
Victor Effing Nikiforov (13k)*
AU in which Yuuri still doesn’t remember the banquet, somehow doesn’t blow Japanese Nationals, runs into Victor at the World Championships, and has absolutely no idea why his idol is suddenly friendly and incredibly handsy.
Does Yuuri care about his reasons? No. It’s Victor Effing Nikiforov.
Masks off (27k)*
And so the story goes that a playboy comes to a town, makes it fall in love with him and then proceeds to get himself enticed by the most mysterious person there.
Wait... did it really go like that?
Five Kisses (4k)
It hadn’t seemed out of the ordinary at the time. Victor had always been free with his affection; throwing out compliments, light caresses, even the occasional peck to the cheek. After a little over a week of having him as his coach, Yuuri was sure he had gotten used to it. It was just a Westerner thing, no use getting riled up if Victor wasn’t going to be stopping it anytime soon.
Then it happened.
~~~
Victor likes kissing Yuuri and Yuuri is frustratingly dense
lie to make me like you (80k)*
It’s become a game, of sorts, to anyone privy to the fact that the pattern exists in the first place: ask Victor out at the beginning of the month, date for however many days, and wait for the end to come and for Victor to say, always: I couldn’t fall in love with you. Let’s break up.
With All My Heart (52k)
Once upon a time there was a prince and if you stole his heart, you would live forever. But the prince would only have three days left.
Or: the tale of a Heartless King and a scullion.
When Life Gives You Lemons, Add Sugar (11k)
What could possibly be worse than getting stuck with a roommate you weren't expecting?
Discovering that roommate is none other than Viktor f*cking Nikiforov.
i'm just going to the store (7k)*
Accidental masked vigilante Victor Nikiforov.
Or: how Victor's impulsiveness backfires and creates one of the greatest living internet memes to ever come out of Russia.
November's Secret (233k)*
Overwhelmed with anxiety and his fear of failing, Yuuri faces the issue of if he should continue skating. His best friend, Yuko, proposes a solution - if no one knows it's you, then it's less embarrassing, right? Yuuri begins to create a completely new disguise and persona.
But it works a little too well.
Before he knows it, Yuuri has become the biggest mystery of the skating world and everyone wants to know who he is. Especially Viktor Nikiforov, the idol he's been loosely basing his new persona on for years.
Maelstrom (43,5k)
Victor Nikiforov is poised to win gold in his fifth consecutive Grand Prix Final. He has the world at his feet, is unparalleled in the sport--right up until a snowstorm blows into Sochi, and he finds himself repeating the same day over and over and over. He stumbles over Yuuri Katsuki, and everything changes.
how the mighty fall (in love) (29k)
Every Victor Nikiforov fan has three things in common.
1. They have unrealistic expectations for romance.
2. They mark their calendars with the dates of his newest book releases and the premieres of his latest movie adaptations.
3. They either passionately hate or love his greatest rival, a mysterious author whose pseudonym is only two letters: “KY.”
Allure (11k)*
Yuuri was the most powerful vampire at Hasetsu until he left for Detroit.
After his return for the first time in five years, his priority is training for the Grand Prix with Viktor. Other vampires have steadily invaded his territory, but he's not interested in reasserting his dominance too strongly…Until he catches one of them feeding on Viktor to the point of death in an alleyway.
#victuuri#viktuuri#vikturi#hfuvujcielqmf#victuri fic rec#yoi fanfic#i hope yall appreciate this#my stuff
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how would you characterize the finches (as in who are they a person, what is their personality like, their aesthetics, etc). you don't have to write essays, i'd just like to know what you think of each of them. that would really interest me.
mod milton just went to go get food which has left me unattended so (peace sign emoji)
(EDIT MOD MILTON GOT BACK FROM GETTING FOOD AND IM ONLY ON WALTER, you can’t tell me to not write essays i will anyway im trying to be as brief as possible this is just how i AM)
milton is the aesthetic dude so he can either reblog or go back and edit this with what he thinks everyone’s aesthetics would be, i’ll just give descriptions of them and their personality. also im only gonna do the ones with portraits!!
odin - probably has an attitude a lot like dawn? i mean, he uprooted his whole house to sail to america to try to escape the curse. so like, paranoid family man that wants to keep his family safe. also probably likes boating/fishing or something. he’s probably sorta like my dad in that he cares deeply about his family, doesn’t like really anyone else, and can almost be sorta hotheaded when it comes to something getting in the way of him and his family. i sorta get that vibe? idk
edie - probably like how mod milton has described her before, like a kooky but weirdly lovable grandma? like the kind that would babysit the kids and then give them a bunch of chocolate and candy just before sending them back to their parents or something. probably a sweet old lady but also the kind that’s like ‘youre too nice wtf’ because she’d also be weirdly paranoid and such because of the family curse. definitely a person you could sit with and hear all of her stories though.
molly - i feel like she’d be the kinda kid who’d eat bugs and stuff as a kid and break her toys to figure out how they worked. she reminds me a lot of me as a kid, just more happy? and more interested in sea stuff. i feel like she’d be the kinda girl that you’d have to drag away from the beach whenever yall had to go home. just super bubbly and sweet but with sorta a weird fascination with dissecting things and figuring out how the innards of stuff work together. also probably spends more time eating than doing literally anything else
barbara - definitely the cute blonde that everyone said ‘she’s gonna be big one day’ and she did. she probably woulda loved watching child star stuff and when she had the opportunity to be in a movie she begged edie to let her audition. as she got older and america ‘grew out of her’, she probably was a theater kid type in high school, just waiting for another big break and auditioning anywhere she could. definitely the kind to roll her eyes whenever she had to babysit her little brothers, but she still cared a lot about them.
calvin - the kid to have probably gotten his head stuck in a fish bowl pretending to be an astronaut more than once. he was probably a big nerd growing up about space, begging for stuff like a telescope or astronomy books or anything he could get his hands on. he was the kid who said ‘im gonna be an astronaut when i grow up’ and was actually gearing to do just that. he was probably amazing as heck at school and sam might have even had him do his homework more than once. so smart kid, very hardheaded. think of like, how the majority of the fandom portrays clay terran from ace attorney (if anyone around here plays AA?)
sam - perfectly content staying on the ground, thanks. total one-with-nature type kid, probably wanted to be a nature photographer before calvin died. after the fact, he probably geared himself more toward military because he figured the thought of achieving your ‘true dream’ was all bs since he had then lost two siblings trying to achieve their dreams. so he dropped the photography except for recreational usage, and focused on gearing toward the military probably because this is vietnam war time and he didn’t really have a drive to go for anything else. he liked the structure that being in the military gave him and raised his kids with the same strict schedule, but it was probably a combination of his general stubborn pessimistic personality (which was never shown around the kids, of course) with his history and being away from the kids for a lot of their younger years because of the USMC that lead to his and Kay’s divorce. i feel like ive rambled a lot about sam for someone who doesn’t like him. tl;dr bad dad but also sad dad?
walter - my poor, sweet, paranoid delusional baby. he was probably the type to, like molly, enjoy the sea a lot. he probably wanted to be a marine biologist growing up, and when barbara died because of the supposed ‘monster’, being exposed to that kind of trauma of literally hearing your sister’s last words as she screams while being killed, that would kinda fuck you up. i could see him locking himself in his room for days on end, eventually forcing edie to have to drop him out of school and homeschool him. it probably took him months to even be able to step outside of his room. when calvin died he probably re-shut himself in, just terrified of everything. it said in game he had been down there for 30 years, and since he died at 53, that would mean he retreated to the basement at 23 years old. possibly, when no one else was living in the house aside from edie, she and him worked together to create the bunker that took a few years to make before it was livable.
dawn - she probably took after her dad a lot, not in the fact of the hunting or other activities he enjoyed but more in the pessimistic view of life. she’s seen in his story reading a lot and i feel like that’s because she’s the quiet type that would rather submerse herself in a fantasy world in a book than she would interact with the real world. sorta like how the whole “sam seemed to go out of his way to meet [death]”, conversely, dawn tried to stay away from it as much as possible. she probably grew up wanting to explore and ‘see the world’ before she died, which was why she started joining volunteer programs to help people in other countries. she probably became more religious after her dad passed but hid it more when she got close to sanjay because of religious differences, which was why she and sanjay would have decided to raise their kids without religion. she cared a lot, but she showed it in a weird way; she was angry and paranoid, sure, but she did care. sorta like how i wrote odin.
gus - rebel kid. probably grew up with a resentment for his dad and saw him as the source for ‘mom leaving’ and such. gregory died when he was around 8 years old, which is just around the time hormones are about to go wild and puberty sets in, so he probably launched himself into a punk rock lifestyle to sort of rebel against his parents and deal with his grief in his own way when he felt no one else really understood him. since dawn was pretty hardheaded and stern and pessimistic like their father, gus probably didn’t feel all that comfortable talking to her, so he just bottled a lot of stuff up. sad baby
gregory - i feel like his story sums him up personality wise pretty well, idk, hes a baby
lewis - stoner kid. he probably grew up in india learning both english and hindi from his parents, and was generally a normal happy kid until his dad died. when he did and they moved back to the states, he would have been about 14, with milton at 10 and edith at 3. milton and lewis probably got along a lot for the year they were together in the finch house and while they were being homeschooled, and when milton disappeared he probably fell into a depressive state as he had no one else to really talk to around his age about the losses he experienced. not to mention as another anon said, he was the only finch to not really show any artistic talents, which further ostracized him from his family and everyone else. he probably took to drugs as a means to cope, which became a habit. when he graduated and isolated himself in his room to smoke and occasionally talk to edith, that’s when dawn signed him up for a job at the cannery to try to help coax him out and into a more healthy life, which of course backfired. overall though, he would have been a really nice person, if not sort of standoffish emotionally. he loved spending time with his siblings and his dad, though never really had much attachment to his mom. nice dude, 10/10, would smoke a bowl with him
milton - (in the words of mod milton: college art student doesn’t get sleep) ok thanks mod milton. ok so like. i see milton as being the super artsy kid in class, the one who’d say ‘i wanna be an artist when i grow up!’ and fucked around with paint all the time and stuff. as he got older he figured out how to make stuff work better (might have even been signed up for art classes) and figured out how to make landscapes and animate (with flipbooks) and such like that. he was probably a kid very eager to learn and discover new things, like how in an entire year he managed to find all the passageways in the finch house and disclose that information to lewis before he disappeared. very smart kid, practically a prodigy for his age in the world of painting and art
edith - sweet sweetheart baby child. probably grew up like the others, wanting to learn and figure out as much stuff as she possibly could. she took to drawing a lot and maybe even took pointers as a young 4 year old from her 11 year old brother milton before he disappeared. when he disappeared this probably raised a lot of curiosity in the young child and she wanted to learn more about her family history, but dawn wouldn’t allow it and edie wanted to respect her grandchild’s wishes despite her great-grandchild’s arguments. once they stopped being homeschooled (which idk what age that would be, i’d have to do math) and edith started going to public school, she may have been kind of insecure and introverted and kept to herself a lot of the time. when lewis died and she had to switch schools she probably gained more confidence from being in a place where no one knew her or her family history anymore and got herself a boyfriend which would lead to current situations in game.
I KNOW YOU SAID TO NOT WRITE PARAGRAPHS BUT THIS IS JUST HOW I DO MAN SORRY
-mod lewis
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Take me to church pt6
Word Count: 2,114
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“Whats up with you and Chibs?” He asks as you put your hands on the counter and lean while you release a sigh from your mouth.
“Sit down” Is you say while you make coffee for your brother and ginger tea for you.
“I know you and Chibs are very close. You even call him your brother but I dont see him that way” You say while serve him the coffee and sit across from him at the table.
“How do you see him?” He asks keeping his expression mutual.
“Since I came back and opening the gallery. He spent the day with me when he didnt have to but he did. He helped me, spent more time with me at the gallery and even stayed with me until it got really late” You answer while taking sips of your tea.
“Over the course of our time together is when I started to develop feelings for him. Until David came around and I went out for coffee with him. Fuck spent the night with him but dont remember cause of how drunk I was and blacked out through most of it. Nothing bad happened it was just celebration drinks at his house” You tell him and get things straight before he thinks the worst of things.
“He even took pictures for me when I practically forced him to and that was suppose to be an excuse to see him again. When he gave me the camera back and looking through his pictures. He really does have a good eye for taking pictures and thats when I wanted to add his pictures to the gallery and display them” You add while looking to your brother.
His expression softened as you tell him the honest truth about Chibs and he liked the fact how you light up talking about his new found talent. He couldnt stay mad at either of you but he needed to get a few things off his chest.
“Are you going to beat the crap out of him now?” You ask in hopes he wouldnt answer you.
“Nah, Im not going to do that. I know Chibs is a really good guy, hes loyal, trustworthy and most of all. He would be the perfect person for you because I dont trust anyone else with you” He says as he places his hands over yours.
“So this whatever with Hale is put to rest?” He asks knowing it is after he told you about him and Stahl.
“Yeah, I told him what you told me about him and Stahl. He didnt deny it but he kept saying he would end their whatever. Like I said, fuck that noise” You tell him as you smile at the end.
You begin to feel sick again and rush to the bathroom. Once you rinse out your mouth, you come walking out of the bathroom and come face to face with a very concerned brother.
“The flu?” He asks helping you back to the table.
Both of you hear a bike pulling into the drive way, he looks to you with a smile on his face and you couldnt help have a wide smile on yours either.
“You just need to tell Clay” He says while waiting for Chibs to come into the house.
Once he opens the door and he comes into view is when he stops because Jax is with you.
“Am I interuptin somethin?” He asks looking between the both of you.
“No, I am just leaving. But uh I want to talk to you first. Lets step outside” He says while Chibs nods and follows his VP.
“Whats up with you and my sister brother?” He asks in hope he would answer him.
“I know she is ye sister Jackie but I have been falling for her. Somethin about that makes me feel good” He honestly tells him and in hopes he will not get punched in the face.
“For the past few days I have been ignoring her because of Hale” He admits and feels incredibly bad for doing that.
“And now?” Jax asks looking to his brother.
“Now all I want to do is spend more time with her because I miss having her around and miss being around her. She makes me feel good Jackie, no one has done that since I’ve been here in Charmin” He admits out loud for the first time.
“Good, look I trust you more then anything especially with my sister. She means a lot to me Chibs, I protect her with my life and I know that you would do the same for her” He says as he puts his hand on his brothers shoulder.
“Aye, I would protect her with everything I have” He says to him and feeling incredibly honoured that he has his trust along with his blessing.
All he needs to do is confess his love for you to your father. The number one person he has the utter most respect for and the number one man that you love so dearly.
“Treat my sister with all the respect in the world, and treat her good. Like you would want for your daughter” He says as he begins to walk away from him.
“Aye Jackie boy” He says and walks back into the house.
You sit at the table waiting for Chibs to walk in and finally you see him in plain sight. Your begin to get nervous as you see him standing at the door and the awkward silence sets in.
“You want coffee? Beer?” You ask to break the silence
“Coffee would be nice” He says and takes the seat that Jax sat on.
“I can make more” You tell him as you get up to make a half a pot of coffee
“That be nice” He says as he watches your every move.
You begin making the pot of coffee and sit with Chibs as the both of you talk about random things. You like the way he laughs, you just want to bottle them up for safe keeping and that smile has always made you week in the knees. You loved every moment the both of you had and you didnt want it to end.
Chibs is finally happy he can have this moment with you. He loved that you can make him laugh and he loved how you didnt need to make an impression just to get his attention. He is amazed on how smart you are and telling him about these different types of photography. He loved how you explained things and he loved how your voice sounded like after realizing certain things. He loved how your face lit up after expressing your love for photography and not so much with the journalism.
Gemma pulls into the drive way to check on you and when she saw Chibs bike parked in the drive way she couldnt stop smiling at the fact the two people she loves have found themselves. She can accept the fact you would want to have someone like Chibs knowing how much of a loyal person he is. And she knew his heart very well. She trusted Chibs with everything, especially her family.
When she walked into the kitchen is when she loved the sound of laughter coming from the both of you. You look to your mom and immediately felt uncomfortable. Chibs looked to Gemma as well and he felt a little fear.
“Dont mind me, I just came to check on y/n” She says while helping herself to a cup of coffee.
She notices the ginger tea and looked to you right away. Having the tea out can mean two things. One, you are sick with the flu and would want to settle your stomach. Two, you are pregnant and havent told anyone. She wondered who the father is and secretly she hoped it would be Chibs.
“How are you sweet heart?” She asks setting her hands on both your shoulders
“Im feeling some what better” You tell her as she looks through the cupboards for a pan.
“You two hungry because I can cook up something really quick?” She asks turning to the both of you.
“Please?” You turn around very quickly to answer her.
“What do you want to eat?” She asks with a smile on her face.
“Actually call Happy here because I like the way he makes his tacos” You look to Chibs and ask to make the call.
Your mom and Chibs begin to laugh. He pulls out his phone to let him know that you are wanting to have his tacos and he leaves the club house to do the shopping for the ingredients he would need to make his tacos.
“Tacos it is” Chibs says while letting out a chuckle.
The three of you hang out in the kitchen while waiting for Happy to come by and soon after is when you heard a bunch of bikes pulling in.
“I guess you arent the only one who wants tacos” Mom says while looking to you.
Mom let Happy take over her kitchen while she prepares the other things for him and soon after everyone is enjoying a good meal.
When everyone left, leaving your mom and dad behind. You knew it would be a good time to tell both of them about your feelings for Chibs. You hoped your dad wouldnt go to his place and start beating the crap out of him.
“So that thing you were going to tell me. Is it about Chibs?” Gemma asks while sitting at the table with you.
“What about Chibs?” Clay asks looking between you.
“Ever since coming home and opening the gallery. I have been spending a lot of time with him right up until gets really late” You tell your parents while dad doesnt look too happy about it. Mom on the other hand is loving the confession.
“When I gave him the camera to take pictures for me, it was just an excuse to see him again but when I was going through his pictures. They turned out amazing and his portraits sold out the most” You continue while dad is beginning to soften his expression.
Clay gets up and tries to walk out of the house but Gemma stops him from doing anything. He didnt like the idea of you and him together.
“This is not going to happen” He says looking to you.
“Just stop. Her and Chibs are going to happen if you dont like it or not Clay” Gemma says looking to her husband
“He’s old enough to be your father” Clay adds looking to you and Gemma
“And you’re ok with this?” He asks her in hopes he would support what he has to say
“Yes I am ok with her being with Chibs. I trust him with her” She says in hopes that will get through to him.
Clay couldnt believe his one and only daughter would want to be with a guy like Chibs, when she can have any other person and she chose him. He couldnt get right with this.
“Daddy, Im falling for him and you cant make me change my mind about him” You tell him while Clay looks defeated.
He knew that you had a point and knew there is nothing that he could do other then give him the cold shoulder. Gemma wasnt going to have any of that and was going to be pissed if she knew what was happening.
“You treat him any differently and you will get a nine inch heel up your ass” Gemma says very firmly as she goes up the stairs.
“Or my boot” You get in the last word and decide to head over to the club to see Chibs.
“Shit” Clay mutters as he watches you walk out the door.
Most likely to see Chibs, he couldnt do anything about it because he knew that you would continue if he said something. One thing for sure is he hasnt seen you this happy in a very long time and he always loved to see that smile across your face. He is definitely thinking of Chibs too lowly but he cant get used of the idea of you two being together. He needed time.
You got into your moms car and backed out of the drive way. You drove towards the club house, you turned the radio on and turned it to the station you liked the most. As soon as your favourite station came on is when the song Riot by Three Days Grace started playing and you turned up the volume.
#reader insert#chibs#clay#gemma#jax#opie#piney#tig#happy#bobby#juice#david hale#tara knowels#chibs telford#clay morrow#gemma teller morrow#jax teller#opie winston#piney winston#tig trager#happy lowman#bobby munson#chibs x reader#harry winston#alex trager#filip telford#clay x gemma#jax x tara#juan carlos ortiz#soa fic
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On everything and anything during the quarantine so far...
April 23, 2020
There are many things i am currently worried about, and it seems that its so much that i cannot identify each of them. I have been thinking over many things, and i cannot keep up. I worry about what i can do to keep myself motivated. I worry about what i can do to keep myself moving, and not just on my phone. I think about projects i can do, but never find the motivation to do them. I am worries about the things i applied for, and if they will get cancelled. I am still hoping that i get the artist residency in Liepzig, Germany but i won’t know that until may when they send the emails. Or when i check the website, and they’ve announced the participants. I hope i do get in. I know i can provide work that can truly be called art. But i know i should also leave room for disappointment, and as i dough, the more i worry about the results. I hope later today,
you find things to drive you to do the things you plan to. To finally 3D model again, to dra the portraits you havent, to research about lights so you can have a set up in your room. To try and move the uniqlo paper bags from the back of the cabinets, into the big suitcase. To continue learning german, and maybe have a practice partner soon.
May 21, 2020
I haven’t left the house for about 60 days now. I haven’t really gone crazy, and to be fair, i am quite enjoying being home. I do miss human contact; i want to be hugged. I think if anything, i miss the weight and warmth of another person. I often hug my parents, but hugging someone without them hugging back is a totally different feeling. I think im okay. For the most part, i think everything is fine. But if im being honest, i know im mostly keeping it in, and pushing it down. I think im going crazy, but unlike everyone else, its not because im locked in.
I wish i knew how to be honest for everything. I hope i find the courage to come out to Floris soon, and i hope nothing bad happens to our friendship when i do. I think once everyone i care about knows im Bisexual, id been less anxious. Hiding this from everyone, i think is keeping me so tightly wound.
The sleepless nights keep coming. i hope it gets fixed soon. Ive been enjoying getting to know Lucas during the late/early times though. I hope we become better friends. He’s really nice and i enjoy his company. Hopefully soon we get to call and i can finally talk to him and hear him speak. I know he’s not gay but hey, he’s also a nice guy to have as a potential boyfriend; of course thats not my main point. I like him because he can be as passionate about design as i am. And besides, hes just really fun to get to know. I hope that doesn’t die down soon.
I also haven’t heard about the German Artist Residency. I still am sparing it a bit of hope, despite this i know the news that i wasn’t chosen, though might be predictable, will crush me. By all means i really wish i get to go. In this weird times, its a sliver of hope that i am craving.
What really tugs on my heart is how little friends i seem to have; which i can’t seem to prove because i do care about some people, and i talk to a few from time to time. But being someone’s second or spare option is something i feel no one i know really gets. Being someone who doesn’t really belong in a group of friends, and who doesn’t fit in with their circles, as much as i have endured living it, crushes me more each day. Is there something inherently wrong with me? Can i be someone’s first choice, main priority, someone’s person for once? I love being there for people but why can’t i have someone be there for me? Its a hirt i can’t seem to ease, and each day it throbs even harder. I hope i get over this, or find a solution soon.
Will my death even matter at this point? I’m not thinking of killing myself, but it makes me think. Do people actually care about me enough to want me to stay alive? Well yes sure. thats easy. i think for most people who know someone, they wouldn’t wish death on them. But does it really matter if its only hypothetical. In these situations, perhaps actions can speak louder than words indeed.
Bottomline, i guess i just want attention from someone who willingly and pointedly wants to give it to me. To be appreciated despite my discomfort with being appreciated. To be noticed, and to finally be visible. I crave to be someone’s. But for now i guess a tight hug from my best friend (which is impossible because he’s in fucking Germany right now), or from one of my other friends. To have a caring person envelop me in their arms, and radiate warmth from their hearts to mine. Is that too much to ask?
I want someone to care for me as much as i care for them.
May 27, 2020
Why the fuck am i so fucking gay? Also why do i want to have friends so bad, only to push them away before they fuckin leave me? I want to die and i hate this life. Or maybe i just don’t want this particular life anymore.
It seems that despite all my efforts to leave this life behind, something keeps drawing me in. I know in these cases, it mostly means that theres something i am not answering to. In the heroes journey cycle its believed that until the hero answers the call, it will keep beckoning for him to acknowledge and do something about it. (this shit is gonna sound so fucking gross when i read this back, but man. do i care?). anyway, It seems i am stuck in this cycle, and to be able to leave all this behind, i have to acknowledge or do something. Am i so stupid oblivious to know what it is? I wanna fucking die.
Why does my heart hurt too? how is this fair. I hate being so ugly, and so unattractive. Fuck this life… what am i doing wrong. Besides, why can’t i be transparent with people? why do i keep putting up personas to everyone i meet. ITS NOT FUCKING COOL. and above all, its so exhausting. I seriously need help…
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10 Simple-minded Ways To Heal A Broken Heart
I cant do this anymore.
The terms still reverberating in your ears, ricochetting around until they land like a punch in the gut. Youre instantly transported to a new world, one you didnt know existed before this moment. A world-wide and life without your beloved.
It doesnt feel real. You pinch yourself to wake up from this nightmare, but youre still here, still revolving from this declaration, this revocation of love.
Warm snaps stream down your face until you begin to sob, that terrifying uncontrollable sobbing that leaves you gasping for air. You want to hide away, cry yourself to sleep, and somehow magically feel better tomorrow.
Weve all been here. Or some modification of it. Weve all had our centers cracked and stomped on. Weve all diverted over every moment of our relations in our headings and wondered, What could I have done differently?
But we are now transported into a macrocosm where the love we seemed is grasped away from the americans and dont know what to do with ourselves other than suffers and sorrow our loss.
I recently read a work that briefly touched upon anguish and its advice mostly amounted to go out with your lovers as far as possible. WTF? Thats it? Thats how Im going to heal my mettle? Most of my lovers are scattered in all regions of the world. Becoming out with them every night isnt even a viable option.
How on globe do you turn off those kinds of impressions? What happens to affection lost? How do you mend a broken heart? I decided to investigate how to mend my own shattered heart.
In previous breakups, Ive simply idly fallen into my personal motifs of desire lost. For me, I exclaim, I stay in bed, watch bad tv, chew cookie dough, and hide away from the people who love me. I mainly dont DO anything. I sit and wait.
Because time heals all winds, right? Or does it? If occasion is a construct of our attentions, do “weve been” have to wait for the occur of period, something illusory to mend ourselves? Can we speed up the process of healing our wraps? How much is impossible to ensure our healing through our wars and blueprints?
So, instead of blindly falling into my decorations, I started to ask myself some questions about my habits. Im looking at my structures with enjoying interest, playing with them a little bit, realise what is actually acting me and determining what patterns are there exclusively because of economy, because my memory, form, and nerve are too tired for anything but pattern. And heres what Ive learned
1. Lean Into Sensation
Essentially, everything we know as physical beings comes down to sensation that we name good or bad. When I began to lean into the wizard in my body, requesting what it had to tell me, thoughts began to transform.
I asked where the ache lives in my torso. I closed my eyes and supposed symbolizing my excitement. I described what it felt like in writing, how I had to remind myself to breathe and how fascinating the absence of a act- breath and love feels so heavy.
I examined the tightening in my chest, trying not to label it good or bad, just simply as superstar. Human tolerating is predominantly an expression of the results of labeling event as good or bad and right or wrong.
The thing about perception is, its ever changing. It doesnt stay forever. When we change our perspective of know-how merely being a temporary district of existence, it takes service charges out of it, simply through the simple-minded number of observation. In my own experience, the sensation itself tend to change faster the closer I look at it.
By noticing how heavy the fact that there is breath felt, I began to fill my lungs with slower, deeper breaths and learnt my entire being become a bit lighter.
2. Frankie Says Relax
Remember those t-shirts from the 80 s from Frankie goes to Hollywood? Passes out those guys had a good idea.
While this might seem a little bit self-contradictory to simply discovering perception, this practice of tightening your body has slightly different merits. We support so much better tension in our mass on a daily basis, and its even more amplified in times of high-pitched stress.
Make a practice of checking each part of your mas for tension. I like to start out lying down on my back and closing my gazes like I would for savasana. Take a couple of deep sighs, then try to contract and tense up every single muscle in your organization at once. Hold this for got a couple of seconds, then liberate the tension in your whole mas. Repeat a couple of times. I find it helpful to see the comparison in how my person tones between the tension and the relaxation.
Then take it further by slowly checking each part of your form from leader to toe. Tense up an individual muscle group for a moment, then exhaust it. Crinkle your forehead, and handout. Squeeze your eyes tight, and handout. Clench your jaw, and handout. Press your tongue to the ceiling of your opening, then make it hang loose in your mouth.
You get the picture. We all know we view so much friction and stress in our shoulders and backs, but also pay attention to the little neighbourhoods. Tightening the smallest muscle radicals, particularly in my appearance, often prepare the most difficult difference in how I seem afterwards.
3. Move It
Rest is important in mending a middle. But I often situate too much emphasis on it. Yes, I need to take care of myself with sleep and the blessing of stillness. But I now believe it is equally important to move your torso very. The medium of shift isnt important. Just move.
On day one I went to a yin yoga class. While technically moving my body, the needs of the of yin yoga are much less than read a spin class. Yin allowed me to extend my form while still allowing me to appear introverted and my existence internalized which was all I could handle.
On day two I croaked for a four mile walk in the common. I remained my headphones on and didnt talk to anyone, but extended my legs and got plenty of oxygen into my lungs.
This movement is facilitating me hinder some momentum and vigour for other aspects of “peoples lives” I dont want to placed on hold while my centre heals.
4. Reach For A Better Feeling Thought
This one can feel a bit tricky. For starters, the thought of exuberance can feel so far removed from where you are right now. So, start where you are.
If you are depressed, what next best happen can you contact for? Depression is experiencing hopeless, disheartened, retiring. There isnt even any energy around depression. Happiness and desire can feel like a world away from depression.
Can you reach for something that seems slightly better than this powerless desperation? Perhaps hope? Or wrath or storm? Most passions have more vitality behind them than hollow. While temper isnt a situate you want to stay in, it can also stimulus some movement.
What if every day you worked towards an spirit merely one step in future directions you wish to move? Take a look at the Emotional Guidance System scale I formed from Ask and it is Given below. Moving up by one spirit a daylight will put you in a pretty good region in not so long a time.
There is something else to watch out for here. In the midst of my profound bereavement, I have minutes of genuine laugh when I hear something funny. The first few meters it happened, I immediately experienced guilty.
It was as if my feeling good in any way was a disloyalty to my broken heart. My mentality was telling me that if I feel good, its as if I didnt appreciate such relationships as much as I felt I did. Well, that is hogwash. That is my hurt ego talking. My relationship mean and still signifies “the worlds” to me. Tell me be really clear on this point…
If youre having a hard time contacting for a better sensitive conception, try some visualizations. Stay away from thinks about your relationship and cherish. They are very charged topics, so start somewhere easy.
Close your eyes, thought the sentiments of the warm sunlight on your look, and cool breeze on bare shoulders. Dream the flavor of your favorite dinner on your tongue. Dream your abs hurting after a good belly laugh. Improve on this feeling with knowledge from our lives you can draw from. What in your life is full of ease and joy?
5. Surround Yourself With Reminders Of Truth, Beauty, And Love
I have a tattoo on my left forearm that enunciates Love Inspired by a blog upright called the Beauty of the Ellipsis, it serves as a reminder that ardour isnt a finished thinking. It is always in motion, ever deriving. Adoration for myself, my family, your best friend, and those Ive lost.
I have a maple seed necklace to remind me that in every moment Im planting the seeds of my future. I have prisms hanging from my windows for an extra perforate of coloring and rainbows on sunny epoches. I am gradually building a jungle in my house. I fill empty spaces with plants that remind me of life and vitality even on the grayest of days.
Fill your encircles and life with little bits that remind you of what you know to be true, beautiful, and joyful. These neednt be grandiose or expensive, just simply concepts that reverberate with you. Here are some ideas to get you started.
Flowers from Traders Joes. Pinterest board filled with beauty. Follow an inspiring Instagram or Tumblr account. Make or find a mantra. Use Canva to build and print out invigorating paraphrases to embellish your room. Croak for a step and find the perfect stone to bring home. Find a brand-new favorite aroma and spread it around your mansion liberally. Buy new stationary. Treat yourself to a book from Etsy. Draw portrait or stimulating mentions with sidewalk chalk in your vicinity. Find a neighbourhood neighbourhood to make a coffee or tea mug. Alternately, find one that impresses your imagination at Society6. Create an altar or sacred cavity and crowd it with crystals, palo santo, and offerings. Spend day with children. Find reminders of your truism and joy.
These may seem to be insignificant things that are only on the surface, but I find the more I border myself with items that experience whimsical and magical in some small-scale acces, the more Im able to remind myself of how I want to feel in each time. They help me choose to feel glee and magical when I might otherwise choose grief.
6. Self-Care Saturday( Or any era. Or every day !)
We can be quite penalize to ourselves in times of conflict and stress, so take some time to really take care of yourself in some way.
Were all busy and charged with the responsibility, but if you dont take care of yourself first, the main responsibilities can begin to suffer as a result. Im more focused and productive when Ive taken care of my necessities first. I attend to my responsibilities in a bigger and better behavior when my goblet is full , not empty.
Theres a lot of area for reading here as to what self-care consider this to be for each person. While technically, all the suggestions in this article are a species of self-care, I miss “youve got to” block off some time specifically for self-care, mining deeper into what that means for you.
Maybe its taking a long, palatial shower and spending duration pampering yourself with tinctures for your skin that move you feel radiant. It might be spending a duo hours in live animals shelter fondling with puppies and kittens. Perhaps its planning a hot stone rub. Maybe its nourishing your form with vibrant healthy food youve cooked yourself. It might be taking a couple hours to read a book thats been sitting on your nightstand for months.
Tailor your self-care and rotate it into a weekly or even daily ritual.
7. Invest in Yourself
Im willing to bet everyone has something new theyd like to try if merely they had the time, coin, or excuse.
Here is your allow stumble to try that something new.
Did you want to pick up knitting, or perhaps learn to play the guitar? Maybe memorized some bayonet abilities to hoist your prepare? Rock climbing, sky diving, paint, memorizing another language, the possibilities are interminable. You can find a class on just about whatever it is you like online these days.
As progenies, we try brand-new occasions all the time. Its how we discover and change at an exceptional charge. But this slows down as we grow up and our visual field becomes smaller as we narrow down our athletic field. So expand your compass, invest in yourself in some way, and learn something new.
The cognitive requirements of memorizing something new are also welcome to serve as a great pattern of distraction when you need a distraction. Perhaps youll be brought to an end picking up a brand-new hobby, check off another carton on your pail listing, or have a good story to tell.
8. The F wordForgiveness
Ahh, a big creepy one! The topic of forgiveness can be a fiction in itself. Perhaps there is a requirement forgive the actions of your ex, or maybe forgive yourself for your own. Or a combination of both.
We dont always like to forgive people for actions we deem incorrect or unkind because it can feel like we are giving them a free pass. But Ive became aware that maintaining onto exasperation and resentment is always worse. Its a tremendous force suck and you cant find joyful as the same duration “you think youre” feeling justified in your fury. So, I select my own gaiety over my resentment.
Its a choice to make over and over again. Its not easy to forgive in one large-hearted sweeping action. It generally happens in increments. Its helpful to practice radical rapport, vividly dreaming how it feels to be the person who did you wrong. You know most people are essentially doing the best they can with the information they have at each minute. It becomes easier to suppose why they did what they did when you put yourself in their shoes. You begin to feel more empathy for them.
You recognize that the indignation youre accommodating acts no one. And you gradually begin to let it go, piece by piece.
Because forgiveness is not for them, its for YOU.
9. Afford what you wish to receive
I was walking around, detecting like no one loves me, which is totally and completely untrue, but when youre heartbroken, your subconsciou does all kinds of irrational thoughts. I received a pal of mine berth about writing a note of encouragement to a pal, and I wished to be that friend with every fiber of my being. I wanted to open up my mailbox and receive letters of cherish, a validation of the adoration that exists for me.
I expected myself what could I do to feel that adoration? I decided to Pay what I wished to RECEIVE. I started writing words of encouragement and love to pals and strangers alike. All I had to do was write what I wanted to hear, for myself. It was that easy.
This did two things for me.
One, the brain doesnt is the difference between handing, receiving, or even witnessing magnanimity. When you perform an act of kindness, the pleasure and rewards cores light up, releasing feel good chemicals as if you were the recipient, which some psychologists have dubbed the helpers high.
Two, it demo me that we live in a macrocosm of abundance. I dont is a requirement to accumulation away love and kindness to keep it. It actually thrives when I open it away. Its generative. And often, when you demonstrate adore and kindness away, others are inspired to mirror your enjoy and kindness back to you as well as fee it forward to others.
We cannot presume to understand the dominance of the extent of what a few kind words can do for someone and its ripple effect on the world. Win win triumph!
10. Investigate Your Own Patterns
This is by no means a complete list. Merely recommendations of the start of opportunities for your own healing. The biggest occasion you can do for yourself is to get curious, examine your own personal decorations in its own experience of sorrow, and doubt each one.
Hold each one up as they sound and question Does this suffice me?
If the answer is truly yes, keep it. If the answer is no, try something new or the opposite of that first inclination. Play with the brand-new reaction, see if that one provides you better, prepares you feel better both in the present and the long term.
And most important, be gentle with yourself. There are epoch to push your borders, to peruse, and to experiment. But i still have a meter for rest and a is necessary to give. Dedicate yourself the grace to know you are where you need to be when you need to be.
Know that you wont always feel like your centre has been rent out of your chest. Lessen the distance between a shattered heart and a mended middle by experimenting with these alternatives to your motifs. One day youll open your middle again and feel the rushing of falling in love. Youll look into attentions that truly see you and reflect your feeling back to you. And youll be ready for large-scale ardour because youve already done their efforts to heal your middle.
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