#im so so so so so so glad fiction can take you out of yourself and make you conceptualise your emotions through fictional pain and anguish. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

Visit Blog

Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.

Fun Fact

Tumblr has been providing a Korean-language service since 2013.

#im so so so so so so glad fiction can take you out of yourself and make you conceptualise your emotions through fictional pain and anguish.

moonlitnyx · 3 months

Text

"𝙒𝙄𝙇𝙇 𝙔𝙊𝙐 𝘽𝙀 𝙈𝙔…𝙑𝘼𝙇𝙀𝙉𝙏𝙄𝙉𝙀? 🥹"

How do you celebrate Valentine's Day with your boyfriends?

ft. AVENTURINE, VERITAS RATIO, ARGENTI x GN Reader

content. SWF, very much fluff!! Reader's in a relationship with the characters, No confessions just how they spoil you during Valentines Day, :> Ratio is mentioned as Veritas because how am i suppose to write "Dr. Ratio" with a straight face

notes. Can u tell im single because of how im writing fanfic for fictional characters on Valentines day? 🤡 Wish i could've added Sunday but I want to get to know his character better before writing him <33 my pookie <33

ft. AVENTURINE

When it comes to Valentine's Day, Aventurine can be a bit excessive...

It's not like you don't appreciate the gifts that he gives you, but the prices always make your jaw drop. What do you mean he got you 20,000 credits worth of roses just for you? They don't even look that special to begin with!

And don't even get started on all the cheesy things he do for you. The amount of chocolate he gets you, or when he takes millions of pictures with you with his "professional photographer" and pick the worst photo of you to put in his wallet is just one of the million things he does that day.

"Aventurine!" You whine, trying to pry out the photo of yourself and him out of his gloved hand. "Your not seriously planning on using that photo!"

Aventurine cocks his head, feigning innocence as he asks sweetly, "What's wrong with it, babe? I think it looks cute!"

"CUTE? I look like I'm about to sneeze!" Your baffled expression makes Aventurine laugh, his hypnotic amethyst eyes twinkling with amusement.

"That's what makes it cute." Aventurine giggles as you make a face.

ft. VERITAS RATIO

Honestly, the first time you celebrate Valentines Day you tried, and damn did you try, to Veritas to enjoy the holiday

You had taken him to a carnival and had even won him a huge teddy bear, taken him to dinner, bought him roses, (tried) to feed him chocolate. But he was tougher to crack than an oyster

However, he was nice enough to give you a perfectly scripted thank-you note, giving his gratitude for the stuffed teddy that you got for him. (You saved that note in your drawer, cherishing it like a sacred tome)

"Soooo," You grin, eyes alight as you giggle. "has this movie effectively swoon you over with the power of love?" In your hand dangled the remote for the T.V, as you lounged on the couch next to Veritas.

"Get that silly grin off your face." Pink eyes glared at yours with annoyance. "Sometimes I even wonder why I'm dating an imbecile such as yourself."

"Oh c'mon! I thought I saw a glimmer of a teardrop in your eyes when we were reaching the end of the film." You fold your arms across your chest, a slight pout on your face as you lean into him.

Veritas rolled his eyes, but a fond smile played on his face as he saw you pout, squeezing your cheeks as he mused, "It was amateur, at best."

ft. ARGENTI

Bro goes above and beyond when it comes to Valentine's Day, like seriously! He picks you roses, makes you your favorite meals, composes sonnets, and even though his actions make you roll your eyes, it also makes your cheeks heat up.

He's sweet, always trying to make you feel loved, and thats why you want to make him loved too on Valentine's Day. He's always so self-sacrificing that sometimes he doesn't care much for himself.

"I-I got you a gift!" Your face is heating up, your hands warm and clammy as you produce a box of chocolates out of your bag and presenting it to the red-haired man.

"Y'know, I'm very glad that we're dating...because your the best thing that happened to me! And I just wanted you to know how appreciated you make me feel and-" You stop as you watch Argenti's pale face flush red, green eyes filled with fondness.

"I made it myself, so it might not be the best, so if tastes weird just throw it out!" You began again, but Argenti cuts you off.

"No, no, it's perfect." A warm smile graces his face, lips curling at the corners as he stares at the box. "The thought of you spending so much time on me makes my heart almost burst."

©moonlitnyx. do not repost, plagiarize, translate, or adapt my work without prior permission and or confirmation.

879 notes · View notes

keen-li · 15 days

Text

MA'AM

18+

MDNI

Neighbour au. age gap au (reader is older than jk). kissing, touching, oral (female receiving), fingering, jk calls reader ''ma'am''. reader is kinda lonely, bored and untouched. p in v, no protection (be wise and condomize guys).

this is all just fiction, don't take it too seriously.

plus im stil learing to write smut, so go easy on me.

helpful and positve feedback is appreciated.

Sorry for any typos.

‘’oh yn,’’ you hear a familiar boy-ish voice speak.

And when you turn, your eyes are met with jungkook.

You know him cause he’s your neighbour, but you rarely speak seeing that you have nothing in common but he’s always kind and sweet whenever you bump into each other.

Like right now.

‘’jungkook’’ you say surprised to see him. ‘’how are you?’’ you give him back a smile.

You haven’t seen him in a while, he must be busy with college (you assume) or maybe he’s busy with some girlfriend. Guys his age are usually swarmed with girls. Especially seeing how attractive he is. The college girls must be having fun with him.

You admire his hair that seems to have gotten longer. You can’t help but notice how good he looks with it.

‘’i’m good, hope you’re doing well..’’ he pauses in his speech ‘’haven’t heard from you in a while. I almost thought you moved out’’

You chuckle at his assumption.

You shake your head lightly as you chuckle ‘’nope. Just busy with work’’

‘’i dont think i’d ever move out honestly’’ seeing as this apartment has a fair price for rent.

He chuckles.

‘’im glad thought i scared you away’’ he says worriedly.

‘’you’d never scare me away’’ you mumble out suddenly feeling nervous.

‘’with all those noise complaints you handed to me?’’ He says with a warm joking tone.

You can’t deny that a lot of noise comes from jungkook’s apartment, that you had to report him. You kinda feel childish for doing it, he’s a college boy anyways. All they know is noise.

‘’but i do get it. I make a lot of noise’’ he uses his pointer and middle finger to rub his lower lip, you get the chance to admire his tattooed finger and pierced lip.

You feel yourself swallow the lump in your throat and bite your lip. You don’t know why you always feel like this when talking to jungkook, maybe it’s his hovering figure, intimidating voice or piercing brown eyes. Even though his eyes give off a soft innocent look you can’t help but observe the sensuality in them.

‘’um yeah’’ you don’t know what else to say. Your eyes can barely look at jungkook while his eyes can’t stop looking at you. There’s no way a college boy can make you feel this nervous. You thought you had outgrown it.

Or maybe it’s the aloneness since your last boyfriend. It’s been quite depressive but you try and not let it eat you up.

But it’s hard when you and jungkook’s walls are as thin as paper. and can hear everything that goes on. Especially when he has a girl over.

You don’t mean to listen to what happens, but what else can you do when you’re laying in bed, bored and lonely. It seems sad you end up finding your hand in-between your thighs as you hear how jungkook pleasures.

With all the groans and name moaning you have come to the conclusion that jungkook must be a great fuck. But it’s not like you’ll ever know. Do you even want to?

You can never fuck someone younger than you right? You’ve always dated older men or at least someone the same age as you. You’ve never been with a younger guy before.

But jungkook seems like he could definitely go for an older woman.

Wait.

Does jungkook want you. He does seem to give off that vibe but maybe you’re in over your head. Jungkook wouldn’t want you there are so many better options for him. So many better girls for him. Not you.

‘’so do you like those?’’ he askes pointing to the basket you have filled with ramen noodles cups.

You chuckle embarrassed.

‘’ yeah i do but, i mainly buy them cause i don’t have time to cook’’

He nods.

‘’maybe i can come cook for you one day’’ you laugh but he’s actually serious.

‘’oh, i wouldn’t mind but i assume you’re busy with school’’ you swing the basket lightly and unconsciously.

‘’i can find time’’ he says a little rushed out.

‘’then i wouldn’t mind’’ you smile.

‘’you going home?’’ he asks.

You nod.

‘’i guess i can give you a ride home, if that’s alright with you’’

You wouldn’t mind at all.

The ride back home was quiet. It still baffles you to how jungkook has a car.

When you were in college you could barely find money to buy food, let alone a car.

And even with a job you can barely find money to buy or rent a car.

‘’thanks for the ride, it was nice meeting you today jungkook’’

The way you smile and say his name makes a hot flash rush through him.

If only you knew how many times his thought of you calling out his name. Sometimes he wishes it was you in his bed, toes curling and back arching.

If he got the chance, he’d show you how you deserve everything.

You don’t deserve to get yourself off and barely get off.

Did he ever say that the walls are so thin that he can hear you too.

He’s heard your frustrated moans and grunts. And all the times you cursed cause of how hard it was to get your high, sometimes his heard you cry and it breaks his heart.

He wishes he could get a chance to please you. He’s never wanted to please someone so bad.

He’s never been so desperate to get on his knees and run you dry of all your juices. To feel you claw at his back as you take him so well.

But he’s also never thought of being with an older woman.

Jungkook knows you’re older than him and he doesn’t mind. Actually he makes him want you more.

He wants you like air and if he doesn’t get you now he feels like he would stop breathing.

So if he doesn’t take this opportunity now he might never have the chance to.

‘’do you wanna, come eat ramen with me?’’

You don’t know how it happened. But he asked you to come over to his, you didn’t see a problem with it so you said yes.

But you don’t know how you went from laughing over some movie to grinding on his lap as your lips intertwine hungrily.

Fuck. You never thought you’d be doing this with your neighbour and fuck you never thought it would feel this good.

Your hands roam his firm chest, and your thoughts are proved right, he does like the gym. Though you could’ve known that without clawing at his chest.

These younger guys are always in the gym, like their life depends on it.

Your gasps and moans mix. You don’t know how innocent sounds of laughter turned into hot whimpers of need.

Maybe it was the stares that seemed to linger for longer than they should have.

Jungkook takes a moment to take in your face but then his lips are soon on yours again as eager as ever, and you accept them.

He kisses you with eagerness and desperation. Desperation to touch and feel you in every way.

You moan into his mouth as you feel the wetness grow between your legs. You hate how a college student, has you this hot and soaking wet.

You’re busy devouring each other’s lips but you don’t fail to recognize the tent forming and touching your centre.

Jungkook’s hands rummage over your back and over your hips and to your ass, he sqeezes your ass lightly which causes you to jumb lightly.

‘’you okay’’ he asks

‘’yeah just never had anyone squeeze my ass like that’’

That boy-ish smile of his is far gone, now a manly sexy grin paints his face. A grin like a wolf looking at a lamb as it’s next meal.

‘’you’ve never had someone touch you like that’’

You shake your head. You hate how jungkook makes you feel like a highschooler losing their virginity.

‘’who have you been fucking that doesn’t want to touch this ass’’ he squeezes your ass again, and you’re embarrassed when you release a moan at that action.

‘’i don’t know’’ your words come out more whiny than you’d like.

He moves to your neck and you move it to accustom him into the space. He places some wet and gentle kisses.

‘’i’m not like them though. I wanna touch every part of you. Wanna taste every part of you and feel you on me.’’ He kisses your neck again and the smacking sound of his lips meeting your skin causes you clench. ‘’i wanna treat you right, i wanna make you feel good’’

You don’t know how true his words are or if you can even take them seriously. Maybe it’s the lust talking. He’s a young man, he wouldn’t want to waste his days with you.

‘’don’t you have other, younger girls. You wanna make feel good.’’ You just had to ask.

The chuckles he releases causes a rush of blood to your groin.

‘’all i think about when i fuck them is you’’ he kisses you again.

You don’t want to believe him but your heart can’t help but flutter. You don’t want to get hurt again but something tells you jungkook is far from hurting you. But you can’t trust that feeling, what if that feeling is just how good it feels to be on him.

He has a great way with words and it would work on you every time, cause you haven’t grown out the naivety of your youth for some reason.

Jungkook knows when and how to say the right words which makes you scared. Which makes him dangerous. All these young boys are to slick with their words.

‘’yn, don’t think’’ he whispers against your lips. He must have noticed your distance all of a sudden.

‘’don’t think of anything but this’’ he pecks your lips.

‘’i’ll try’’ you coo.

‘’i’ll make you’’

his lips are back on yours desperately. And the sound of your lips smacking and you whimpers fills the room again.

His lips go back to licking and sucking that one spot on your neck. His mouth on your neck and hands on your hips helping you grind against his clothed crotch makes you gasp for air.

You’ve never had anyone take their time with you like this, they’re usually quick to just get it in. But not jungkook, he takes his time enjoying and tasting every part of you. Why wouldn’t he when he’s been thinking about this moment and taking cold showers to stop his natural desire for you.

Being with jungkook tells you how much you’ve been missing and how much you need to learn. It’s like going back to your college days.

‘’fuck jungkook’’ you moan when he nibbles at your neck. Your hands move from his chest to his neck then to his long hair.

You unintentionally pull at his hair and you love how he groans when you do so.

The need and ache between your legs grows strong as you grind harder on his lap. Jungkook watches how you move against him trying to find your high. He promises to give it to you but he needs to feel more of you before he does so.

You gasp when he plops you on your back onto his soft couch.

‘’jungkook...’’ you call out and he stops his action to attend to your need.

‘’yes’’ he sounds so submissive as he says so.

‘’i want you’’ your hips move up to feel some friction. He chuckles at the action.

‘’i want you too’’ he smiles as he pecks you on your forehead.

‘’no. Like i want you. Actually i fucking need you’’ you whine out. You’re probably gonna be so embarrassed later but right now you need him.

Your hand reaches for his belt but his hands stop you. You feel embarrassed and confused, you know he’s hard. You can see his fully grown bulge. But why does he want to take so much time.

‘’i wanna taste you first’’ he whispers by your ear.

Fuck. You’ve never had anyone want to eat you out. It’s been a while since anyone went down on you.

‘’jungkoo-‘’ you want to protest.

‘’please yn’’ he begs. ‘’i need it’’ his lips are against yours as he says in a whisper. His lips are on yours for a second before he leaves you wanting to taste his lips more.

You watch his body move down and you can feel your wetness drip down.

‘’fuck...’’ you hear him groan and grow a little self conscious.

‘’what?’’ you lift yourself up a bit.

‘’it’s just that you’re so fucking gorgeous’’ you can’t help but blush and feel a little weird. You’ve never had anyone ogle at you pussy like that.

‘’jungkook..’’ you call out in a whine. You can feel his breath breeze over you centre and it makes the need grow stronger.

‘’i’m sorry, im staring’’ he says and before you can tell him anything his lips are on you, hungrily.

You release a sharp moan as his lips make out with yours.

He licks a long strip of you pouring juices, your taste sinking into his tastebuds.

‘’so fucking good,’’ he groans. ‘’and so fucking wet’’ you feel his finger run through your folds.

‘’jungkook please. Fuck...’’ you don’t even know what you’re pleading for but you are.

Jungkook adheres to you unspoken cries, as he dives back into kissing you and massaging your clit.

Your hand finds it’s way to his hair and pulls. The groan he releases sends electricity through you.

You’ve never felt like this, nobody has ever put this much effort into touching you.

And jungkook has never put this much effort into eating pussy, but for you he will and he is.

He adds his fingers into you as he pumps into you.

‘’fuck you need to be fucked right’’ he says at your tightness. You can barely hear what he’s saying over at how hard he’s slurping.

With the way his digits work into you and his tongue sucks on your clit, you can feel that feeling you’ve been chasing.

‘’fuck jungkook, im going to-‘’ jungkook smiles at how you can barely finish your sentence but he knows.

The feeling grows closer and your heart races in excitement.

But then all of the sudden the feeling is gone and you’re about to curse out jungkook who’s now moving up.

‘’what the fuck, i was going to-‘’ you whine angrily.

‘’i want you to come over my cock’’

You don’t argue, he’s the one in control after all.

‘’ then please fuck me’’ all you can do is plead. It’s so embarrassing pleading for him to fuck you. You wonder if girls his age are this desperate too.

‘’yes ma’am’’ he says as he takes off his shirt, for some reason him calling you ma’am makes you more aroused.

‘’don’t call me ma’am’’ you say blushing but jungkook knows, you’re bullshitting.

‘’yes ma’am’’ he says with a cheeky grin knowing that it makes you clench around nothing.

You watch him unbuckle his belt and you’ve never seen anything this attractive.

As you watch him you anticipate how his going to feel and how you’ll wrap around him. That’s all jungkook can think about too as he strokes himself slightly, though he’s been hard since he saw you in the grocery store.

You feel his tip slide through your wet folds and you can’t help but suck in a breath. Jungkook can’t help but whimper at how wet and good you feel already.

You clench desperate to feel something inside you. You wonder if it will hurt, it’s been a while for you anyways. And he looks like he could stretch you out good. But you’re too needy to worry about that.

You gasp when you feel him move into you, slow and teasingly. His tip has you wondering if you’ll be able to take all of him.

‘’fuck you’re so good for me’’ he says as he moves in deeper. ‘’i wish i could feel you everyday’’

You can.

You want to say, but don’t wanna make promises. You don’t know if this will ever happen again.

‘’do you wanna be good for me like this everyday, yn’’ he says kissing along your jaw as he settles into you.

He doesn’t move waiting for your answer.

You hum but it’s not enough for him.

‘’yes, i want you everyday’’ you end up speaking more of your mind than you planned to.

Jungkook smiles as he slowly begins to move in and out.

‘’good. You can have me everyday’’

With the ways he rocks into you, slowly increasing speed, you understand the moans of those girls you heard him fucking.

His name falls from your mouth as he continues. Jungkook has never enjoyed being buried in heat like this. And he’s never wanted to stay in forever like he does right now.

‘’jungkook..’’ with the way your nails dig into his arm and you flutter around he knows you’re close.

But so is he. Your high is his target as he continues to stroke.

Jungkook twitches inside of you as you both reach your highs.

He lays on top of you as you breath heavily. He tries to keep his weight from crushing you.

‘’next time i wanna be on top’’ you say with the energy you’ve got left.

‘’deal. Even though i like being on top, i’ll let you ride me’’ you almost feel that feeling comeback.

You stroke his hair as you watch that boy-ish smile return on his face.

It’s like he’s changed and wasn’t the person balls deep into you seconds ago.

‘’i like this’’ you say comfortable.

‘’i like you’’ Jungkook coos into your neck.

464 notes · View notes

euphoriaslux · 20 days

Text

we can’t be friends

summary: you hate vincent. vincent hates you. and yet somehow you end up in his bedroom.

word count: 4262( i… am so sorry.)

warnings: fem reader, smut(f oral receiving) vincent being a meanie, drinking and smoking, disrespect of the french justice system (désolé) me making head canons about vincent’s family life, some mischaracterization of sandra (ily sandra huller)

a/n: folks i was locked in when i was writing this, can you tell because it’s autocapitalized? i was Serious! this was supposed to be like a thousand words and ended up being 4k… i apologize i have to spread my illness (being my obsession with swann). i had SO much fun writing this i hope yall enjoy, all the reblogs on my first post make me all warm and fuzzy. drop some requests if you’d like, and im going to make a masterpost of all the fictional characters im obsessed with bc i’m chronically online. i’ve reread this like a million times so if there are any spelling errors i simply do not see. enjoy!!! <3

You cannot fucking believe you’re going to be late to trial.

Well, actually, you can believe it. Somehow, during the two hours of sleep you got last night, you managed to unplug both your alarm clock and your phone charger, leaving you to blissfully sleep through the multiple alarms you had set the night before. It was only when your cat sprawled across your face, her paws tickling your eyelashes as she eagerly awaited her breakfast, that your body decided to wake you up. An hour after you were supposed to.

Your methodically planned out morning routine for the indictment today was quickly replaced by you sprinting around your apartment muttering curse words under your breath and trying not to trip over the copious amounts of documents on your floor. You nearly cried when your tangled hair would not cooperate with you, but somehow managed to make yourself look halfway presentable. You didn’t have the time to be stressed today, especially because of the attention you know this case is going to get.

And because you knew you were going to see him.

After driving like a bat out of hell in the Parisian rain, violating multiple traffic laws, you somehow make it to the courthouse only one minute late. Jogging up the steps, you push the door open and yell out apologies to the bewildered lawyers and judges in the courthouse as you sprint against the browned hardwood floor, your briefcase thumping against your side in tandem with your heartbeat. Your eyes scan the chamber numbers and you breathe a sigh of relief once you find the one that matched the summons notice, pausing to smooth down your pantsuit set and pat the beads of sweat off of your forehead.

You push open the chamber doors as gently as you can, but you quickly realize there is no use as every head in the room turns towards you, gawking at you. Some have a slight frown on their face, looking at you with thinly veiled pity, but most have a clear show of annoyance. With your head down you speedwalk over to your team’s side of the chambers, pulling out a few labeled folders before you place your briefcase next to your seat. You take a deep breath and force yourself to look up, and right across from you is the defendant’s lawyer.

Vincent is wearing a black turtleneck and a matching black blazer, with effortlessly swooped gray hair and his arms crossed over his chest. He looks perfect, too perfect, in a way that pisses you off. He’s already staring at you when you glance at him, his mouth slightly turned upward as he leans over to talk to his client Sandra, maintining eye contact with you as his whispers in her ear.

“Glad you made time to join us Mademoiselle,” the judge says as she shuffles some papers around, using a few fingers to wave over a magistrate to her right, ostensibly for the indictment sheets.

“I am so, so sorry I-” you start before the judge moves her hand to wave you off, finally sparing you a sharp glance.

“Enough time has been wasted. Let us proceed, yes?” she asks, and you almost start to answer before you realize it was rhetorical. There are a few quiet laughs in the courtroom and you fix your eyes on your folder, feeling like a child who was just scolded in class for sneaking a cookie from the lunchroom. You feel Vincent’s eyes on you but you don’t dare to look up. You won’t give him the satisfaction.

Sandra was indicted, of course. This case was going to be a media circus because of her literary career, and you knew this was not going to be an open-and-shut case. Part of you hated trials like these - when the media would decide an angle that they found the most titillating and not leave a single person involved alone until they got a headline that matched their narrative. Another part of you, a massive part of you, hated working with Vincent. You could just constantly feel the smugness dripping off of him, and with every snarky comment and reply you could sense the anger just drilling deeper and deeper into you. Each interaction you had with him managed to make you even more and more mad. At least you’d hopefully only see him for another couple of months.

five months later

Like clockwork, you stepped out of your taxi to be bombarded by reporters with an endless sea of microphones and cameras, a cacophony of aggressive voices yelling your way. You keep your head down and try to push through the crowd, noticing Vincent talking to a reporter with Sandra to his side. You hear a few words, noticeably about Sandra’s innocence and the ignorance of the defense, and that word makes you stop in your tracks. Reporters are asking you questions but you look for the first microphone you can find and start to talk, making sure to project your voice.

“Judicial integrity is what’s most important to me. Not a narrative, not a story. I took an oath to protect this country. Some people don’t take that seriously, but I do, and that’s what I am focused on.”

There is a sea of follow-up questions but you weave through the hoard of people to the top steps of the courtroom, making your way inside. You arrived a bit early to trial today because you knew Daniel, Sandra’s son, was testifying today. You couldn’t shake the unease you’d had all week knowing you had to cross-examine him, seeing his grief-stricken face as he heard the prosecution and defense make a myriad of accusations about the one parent he had left.

“Were you talking about me?”

Vincent’s voice makes you jump, and you turn around to see him staring at you from behind the court pew. You must’ve had a look of confusion on your face because he then clarifies:

“Outside, when you were talking to the reporter from Euronews. Are you implying that I don’t have judicial integrity?” he cocks his head at you, his eyebrows slightly raised. You shrug, grabbing the manila folders with notes from your bag and putting them in front of your seat.

“If the shoe fits, I suppose,” you say with a tight smile as you sling your bag from your shoulder to under your chair. Vincent scoffs, lightly brushing his hair out of his face.

“Right, I should have looked to the attorney who walks in late smelling like cheap wine for… integrity,” he emphasizes that last word, each letter feeling incredibly loud in the silent courtroom. You feel the heat rise from the back of your neck, both in embarrassment and fury. You take a step towards him and he doesn’t move, your faces only a few inches apart.

“Do you think you’re any better? You took this case because you are plagued with this superiority complex that you have to subject everyone to.”

“Hm, so being a good lawyer makes you think I have a superiority complex, good to know,” Vincent says, touching his chin in mock curiosity. Jesus Christ, this guy irritates you.

“No actually, I think I figured it out,” you say with a laugh, poking your finger at his chest.

“Is it because you used to fuck Sandra, and this is some weird fucked up sort of foreplay that you’re forcing us to watch? I wonder if there’s a tape in evidence, of Sandra telling her now-dead husband how many times you two had shitty sex.”

Your sentence sits in the air as the smirk falls from Vincent’s face.

“Do not project whatever bullshit you’ve created in your mind onto me,” he says, staring at you with an intensity that makes you start to squirm.

“You don’t know me, Vincent,” you turn to end the conversation but Vincent grabs your arm, turning you back around to look at him.

“But I think I do,” he says, and you are so close that you can make out the pack of cigarettes in his jean pocket through his cloak is what’s pressing against your thigh.

“I think you put on this show, that you are meek and timid, but it is all an act. Every movement of yours is calculated. Nothing you do has any underpinning of integrity.”

You feel tears well in your eyes and you quickly wipe them away, opening your mouth to speak as the chamber doors open and members of the jury begin to walk in.

“Fuck you,” you tear your arm away from his grip and walk back to your seat.

four months later

It’s been two weeks since the trial ended. The chaotic hustle and attention has died and reporters are gone, with no more requests for comment or interviews on morning TV filling up your inbox. You were called to the courthouse to go over some documentation that the court needed to provide a final report on the case, arriving late on a Saturday night. You shudder as you get out of the taxi, the chill of Paris air sparing no part of your body. You wrap your jacket around yourself and sit on the sidewalk, taking a deep breath as you prepare to go into that same courtroom. You put your head in your hands and sit in silence for what feels like forever until a familiar voice breaks the stillness.

“Hey.”

You don’t move a muscle when you hear Vincent’s voice, hoping that somehow if you stayed completely still he’d believe you were a figment of his imagination and he’d leave you alone. Instead, he takes a seat next to you, the corduroy fabric of his trousers very gently grazing your skirt.

“If you’ve come to gloat, I’m truly not in the mood,” your say, your voice muffled by your hands over your mouth. Vincent says nothing but you hear him rustling through his pants and then the familiar click of a lighter, and you bring your face up to see Vincent taking a drag of a cigarette. He breathes out wafts of smoke, and after a beat, extends his hand towards you. You glance down at the cigarette and then back at him, and he is still looking forward at the architecture across from you. Plucking the cigarette from between his fingers you inhale deeply, tilting your head up to blow the smoke into the sky. You both sit in the quiet for a few moments as you smoke about half of the cigarette. He doesn’t seem to mind, or at least doesn’t say anything.

“How do you feel?” he finally asks, and you chuckle as you take another inhale.

“How do you think I feel?” you look to him and he nods, taking the cigarette from you. You try and ignore the tingly feeling in your stomach when his lips touch the same part of the cigarette that yours did, with no hesitation.

“Did you genuinely believe she was guilty?”

The question throws you off guard.

“I don’t know.” you answer honestly, bringing your knees up to rest your hands on top of them.

“I don’t often think anything is too personal in a court of law, but that phone call with Sandra and Samuel felt, invasive?”

“It didn’t seem like you had any qualms when you were questioning about it,” he questions.

“Well of course not. I wanted to win.”

Vincent laughs, a real deep laugh, and you can’t help but crack a small smile at the noise. You realize you hadn’t heard it before, at least not before it preceded an insult hurled your way.

“What do you mean, invasive?”

It’s hard to collect your thoughts on his question, and you are suddenly transported back into that courtroom, listening to that call.

“It was like I felt every molecule of anger, resentment, disappointment. I just felt like I was right there in the middle, taking both of their punches. Like,” you take a beat, trying to formulate your words.

“Like I was their son, with no vision of what was happening but so desperately aware of the anger in the air. And feeling guilty that I caused it, somehow.”

Vincent hums.

“I’m sorry with how often I pried, about you and Sandra,” your voice is quiet, and you pick at the straps of your heels.

“It’s okay. It was a long time ago. The feelings I have for her have changed.”

This time you hum, unsure of what to say. For the first time in your years of knowing him, you feel bad about possibly making Vincent uncomfortable. You’re not sure why. You sit in awkward silence for a couple of minutes before you stand up, brushing the stray tufts of cigarette ash that stuck to your skirt.

“Well, I won’t keep you, I have to go turn in evidence of my defeat” you gesture towards the papers in your hands. “And you have to go celebrate, I presume.”

Vincent stands up as well, flicking the cigarette onto the floor and stomping it out with his boot.

“No celebrating for me,” he says with his hands raised. You smile, and he does the same.

“How will you be … coping?” he asks and you roll your eyes.

“Not sure, probably at home with a really cheap bottle of wine.”

His lips purse as he puts his hands into his pockets. “I guess I deserve that.”

You rock slightly on your balls and feet, not sure if you should walk away from him or not. You’re just about to step out of his way when he starts talking.

“I have a nice Pinot Grigio I’ve been waiting to open, if you’d, you know, like to … join,” Vincent’s voice gets quieter as he keeps talking, and you swear you can see a soft pink hue on his cheeks, but perhaps that was the night playing tricks on you.

“I don’t want to impose-”

“You wouldn’t be,” he cuts you off. “I’ll wait for you out here?”

Vincent’s house - not apartment - was somehow exactly and nothing like what you would have imagined. It’s a one-story Victorian-style home with a dark exterior, but the inside is painted a warm yellow with tons of books littering the floors and walls and miscellanous trinkets and birthday cards tucked in between. There’s empty pizza boxes and wine bottles on the kitchen floor, and through his tall back window you can see a mini garden in his backyard, with vines of tomatoes and bushels of leafy greens sprawled amongst the grass. It looks very lived in - you can imagine Vincent waltzing around in the morning, reading his big law books with big glasses of wine, like the one you have in your hand right now.

The two of you are currently halfway deep into a bottle, talking about nothing and everything. The case, bad clients you’ve had before, your favorite pastry shops in Paris, the funny face that one of the Magistrates makes every time the Judge looked at him.

“Thank you for the wine monsieur,” you say with a dip of your head and an exaggerated bow.

Vincent shakes his head before taking a sip of wine, and you notice how the soft pink you thought you had noticed before has turned into a deep red from his forehead to his chest. Vincent being tipsy was such an odd thought to you that you couldn’t control your laughter, your hand flying up to cover your mouth as you started to giggle incessantly.

“What? Is there something on my face?” Vincent giggles alongside you, and you shake your head no.

“The serious, smart lawyer is wine-drunk with the person he probably hates the most. I could not have imagined ever being in this situation,” you manage to collect yourself, putting your hand over your chest as you take the final sip in your glass and wave off Vincent as he motions to pour you another one.

“I don’t hate you,” Vincent mutters as he pours himself another glass of wine.

“You’re pretty good at acting like you do.”

He just nods. Suddenly the air in the room has changed, and it feels constricting. Like all of the arguments and venomous insults you’ve thrown at each other has coagulated in this massive living room

“I actually, um, envy you a lot of the time.”

“Envy me?” you can’t help your incredulous tone after his sentence. “You don’t have to say things to pity me, you know,” you laugh, but Vincent’s face is still serious.

“You are just naturally someone people want to spend time with. Even when you annoy me beyond belief, some part of me is always, drawn to you, I suppose. And I envy that. I don’t really know who I am without doing things for others.

You furrow your brows at his sentence. “What do you mean?” you lean over your chair to be a bit closer to him. He plays with the silver ring on his index finger.

“Sometimes I feel like the people I’ve loved, only want me when I can do something for them, you know? I mean, even my own mother, I remember- ” he stops to take a large sip of wine.

“I was almost done with primary school, and my Dad was gone on some inane business trip. I told her I wanted to go to a birthday party downtown, and that I wouldn’t be able to make dinner that night. She got so mad at me that she threw the bottle of wine she’d nearly finished at my head.” He swirls his wine glass around staring into it.

You put your hand on top of his, and he looks up at you, staring into your eyes before clasping his hand arond yours.

“I’m really sorry,” you whisper. He shrugs, and before you can stop yourself, you bring his hand up to your mouth and press a featherlike kiss against his skin. Vincent’s eyes are glassy, and he separates his fingers from yours to place his hand against your face, his thumb gently caressing your jaw.

“Do you have more cigarettes?” you ask, softening into his touch.

“In my bedroom.”

His statement - his ask - reverberates through your head as you both stare at each other, trying to discern what will happen next. Your thoughts are so loud that you’ve afraid that somehow they’ll extend out into the room.

is he saying what i think he is?

And normally, you would say a snarky remark about how he wishes he could get you in his bedroom, and how you’d rather die than see where he sleeps, but the wine has made you slightly woozy and all you can think about is how good he looks with his hair gently sticking to his face and his t-shirt tight around his arms, and what it would feel like to fuck him.

So you say “okay”, and leave your phone on the dining room table.

Vincent opens his bedroom door, moving to let you walk in first before closing the door behind him. He opens his mouth to speak and before you can think your mouth is on his, and he’s shocked for a moment before he kisses you back, your lips melding together. You push your body into his as Vincent wraps his arms around your waist, his hands digging into your skin as he quietly moans into your mouth. Your intertwined bodies make it to the bed and he hovers on top of you, his hard cock pressing against your thigh and you reach down to touch him over his jeans, feeling him shudder against you. You pull away from him.

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” his voice is a little hoarser than it was before. “I’m okay.”

“Good,” you pull your shirt over your head and tug at the bottom of his and he laughs he does the same, and you admire his shirtless body as he reaches back down to kiss you again, but he’s not as gentle this time. He’s aggressive, dipping his tongue into your mouth and holding your face in his hands.

“So beautiful”, he murmurs, tilting your head so he can suck on your neck and graze his teeth against the bruises spot he left. “So much more beautiful than I imagined”.

Your head falls back on the pillow as you feel his hands reach behind your back and unclip the hooks on your bra, his mouth moving to your breasts and licking your nipples.

“You’ve imagined me?” you pretend to be bashful as your mouth falls into an o-shape, feeling Vincent’s mouth on your chest and his hands on . He moans and you can feel it throughout your whole body as you lean down to shimmy out of your skirt and underwear in one move.

“In every way possible,” he says as he dips a finger down, past your belly button and into your cunt. You’d feel embarrassed at how wet you are already if his hand didn’t feel so good inside of you.

“I’ve thought about what you would taste like, how you would sound when I first fuck you for the first time,” his mouth moves down from your chest, leaving a trail of wet kisses down your abdomen before he’s just above your heat and you sigh, involuntarily jerking your hips up. He puts his free hand around your lower stomach to hold you in place.

“But nothing,” he nips at the spot right in the crease of your hip, licking a long stripe just next to your heat.

“Could’ve come close to how pretty you really are.”

“Christ,” your hands grab fistfuls of Vincent’s sheets as his tongue finally swirls around your clit, pressing just a bit harder as he puts another finger inside of you. You can feel the pressure building in your lower stomach as you and Vincent’s grip on your stomach get firmer as you wriggle under his touch. He groans into your mouth as you start to grind your hips into him, fucking you faster with his fingers as he rolls his hips into the bed.

“Vincent,” you say with a gasp and grip his hair, pulling as you come around his mouth, your head dizzy with the feeling of Vincent’s tongue on you as he stares up at you from between your legs. He pulls his hand out of your cunt and licks his fingers before putting his mouth back on your clit, making you jump at the contact. You hiss as he licks the sensitive area, your eyes rolling into the back of your head as you tug so hard on Vincent’s hair that you’re afraid you’re hurting him, but if you are, he doesn’t stop you. He interlocks his fingers across your stomach and holds you into place, groaning into your clit.

“Okayokayokay,” you move your hands from his hair to head to pull him up, your breathing labored as you try to get yourself together. He leans over to kiss you, his lips softly molding against yours as you wrap your arms around his back.

Breathless, you move your hand down to touch Vincent but he quickly stops you.

“It’s- um-”

You look down and notice the wet spot on Vincent’s boxers, and your eyebrows raise to the top of your forehead as you come to the realization that he came while he was eating you out.

“Did you-”

Vincent groans, hiding his face in your neck as you giggle, coming down from your high.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” you thread your fingers through his now disheveled hair. “It’s kind of hot if I’m being honest.” Vincent looks at you with a questioning look but you just smile.

“Plus, we have all night to try again.”

You wake up in Vincent’s bedroom, with a few strips of sunlight peeking through Vincent’s closed blinds. You haphazardly reach over to his side of the bed to grab his arm, but find it empty, raising your head from the pillow to see that you’re completely alone. Vincent’s clothes that he had taken off during the night and tossed onto the floor were gone. You waited to see if you could hear Vincent in his kitchen, or in the garden, but you were in complete silence.

To be fair, he didn’t say anything last night to insinuate that he wanted a relationship with you, or even liked you. Maybe this was secretly a win for him - he could beat you in a courtroom, and now he got you in your most vulnerable state to declare that you actually felt something other than hatred for him. And maybe that’s all he wanted. You’re not sure why you expected anything differently.

You throw the blankets off of you and find your clothes neatly folded on his desk, and his courteousness manages to upset you even more. You put your clothes on and try to collect yourself, taking a few deep breaths as you walk out of his bedroom and out towards his kitchen. You scan the room for your phone, which you swear you left on the dining room table, only to finally see it on top of a note on the kitchen counter written in messy cursive.

“Went out for cigarettes and coffee.

Bringing back croissants and a capuc- cappuccino.

Will be back in ten.

Go back to bed.

V”

taglist: @ghostlytide

graphic credits: @glasvera

#vincent renzi #vincent renzi fanfiction #swann arlaud fanfiction #swann arlaud #vincent renzi x reader #swann arlaud x reader #anatomy of a fall fanfiction #anatomy of a fall #anatomie d'une chute #vincent renzi smut #swann arlaud smut #smut #fanfic

318 notes · View notes

dvrk-moon · 4 months

Text

EAT ME UP - JAKE SIM

— synopsis: in which jake knows you’re bad for him, but he just can’t help himself. after all, in the end, the answer is always you. nobody else matters. not even the guy you’re seeing, his friend, sunghoon.

— word count: 20.1k

— warnings: cursing, cheating, sexual relationships, mental health problems, alcohol problems, no smut but things can get heated, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!

— featuring: sunghoon, heeseung, jay, aespa ningning, a bit of riize wonbin, mentions of zb1 matthew, girl named ella (fictional)

— genre: fwb, angst, bits of fluff, unrequited love, jake x fem!reader x sunghoon

— playlist: sex - eden, fever - enhypen, bad idea right? - olivia rodrigo, why’d you only call me when you’re high? - arctic monkeys, cologne - beabadoobee, heartbeat - childish gambino

— a/n: this is 100% fiction i don’t think jake is/would be a cheater. this was a monster to complete im just glad it’s over with lol

— taglist: @yyawnjun @lovingvoidgoatee @capri-cuntz

i. HOW DARE YOU, BABY

Sweat formed on your forehead as condensation dripped down your cup. The heat of 30 bodies all condensed into a two bedroom house located just off of campus wasn’t anything new— yet this time it felt almost suffocating. The sequins on your red dress scratched against your skin while you lazily danced to the loud music blasting through the house. It was a Friday night. You had to let all your stress from the week out somehow.

As you went to take another drink from the red solo cup in your left hand, your lips were met with only small remnants of the drink you had poured for yourself earlier. You looked into the cup to find nothing remaining. Rolling your eyes, you made sure to motion to your friend, Ningning, that you’d be headed to the kitchen to get yourself another drink. She nodded at you as you walked away.

Ningning wasn’t someone you could consider yourself best friends with. You didn’t have those. However, she was good for coming to parties with; she knew who to talk to and what to say. You always wanted to be closer to the girl, craving an actual bond between you two rather than just a party buddy. She gave good advice, let you stay over at her apartment multiple times, and seemed to actually care for you, even if you weren’t an open book. There had been times in which you’d almost let her in.

But it never actually happened. Deep down, you knew it’d probably be no good for you anyways.

Strands of hair stuck to the sweat on your forehead as you weaved your way through unfamiliar faces. The noise usually was a comfort for you; more talking from other people meant less listening to your own thoughts.

The surrounding music and conversations became a blur as you stumbled your way through a hallway that led to the kitchen on the left hand side. As you walked through the doorway, the noises became slightly more quiet.

You put some distance between the entrance to the room and yourself, finding a corner which was relatively empty and hoisting yourself onto the cool countertop. The second your thighs felt the chilliness of the spot, you let out a deep sigh. You glanced around the room for any familiar faces, but you were slightly too intoxicated to really make out anyone relevant. You rested your head against the wall for a few seconds before leaving your spot and walking up to the “bartender” who was manning the makeshift “bar”. He was someone you’d seen in passing a couple times off campus. You couldn’t remember his name, and you weren’t sure if it was because you were drunk or not.

“Hey again,” he smiled at you. This was probably your eighth drink of the night, and even though Ningning nagged on you about your lack of self control when it came to drinking, you always brushed her off. How would she know what’s good for you, anyways?

You looked at him with a half-assed smile before propping your elbows onto the top of the makeshift bar, “Heyyy..” you drawled out, with a hint of flirting in your tone.

“Back so soon?” He inquired, grabbing some alcoholic drinks from underneath the “bar”. He ran a hand through his raven-colored hair before looking back up at you, “I swore I just saw you ten minutes ago.”

He was a really good-looking guy. You gave him a flirtatious look, “Oh, you know me. Couldn’t stay away for too long.”

That was a lie. You knew that as the night started, you’d tell yourself “only one drink, to loosen up my mind”. But that never stuck around. You’d get another drink soon after, and as the night went on, there would be less time between each drink. You lost count of what number drink you were on a bit ago.

“You flatter me. It’s a shame, we never exchange much outside of parties. I’ve never met anyone as forward as you,” he laughed, then asking, “same thing as last time?”

You paused. You couldn’t remember what you got last time, and it was only ten minutes ago. Maybe this was your sign to stop for the night.

“Vodka tonic.”

The man nodded swiftly then turned around to make you your drink. Within moments, the drink was ready. You didn’t fail to notice how his hand brushed yours for longer than you expected while he handed you your drink.

“Don’t get sick, sweetheart.”

You playfully rolled your eyes as you got up from your spot, not failing to give the cute bartender a flirty wave as you headed back towards the entranceway to the room.

Before stepping out, you decided that you needed to just drink all of what was just given to you. The clock on the microwave had read 1:08 AM. You had nothing going on later today anyways. You may as well.

“Bottoms up,” you whispered before drinking the whole cup.

Stepping back into the haze of the crowd, you felt a new wave of warmth through your body, and this time it wasn’t the claustrophobic feeling of being in a group of unfamiliar faces. The alcohol quickly dispersed through your veins and you found yourself back where you’d last seen Ningning.

She was with a new crowd of people, but she hadn’t left her previous spot. You didn’t recognize a single face of the people who she was with, but as soon as you began to back away to find anyone else, she noticed you from the corner of her eye and introduced you to the group of people.

“Y/N! There you are,” she grabbed your arm and pulled you towards the group of people that she’d found, “guys, this is Y/N, Y/N, these are my friends from my journalism class.”

You were too busy not paying attention to engage in whoever was supposed to be filling the void of conversation. The vodka tonic was still working its magic, so in a quick moment, you were slipping away from the group and telling Ningning something along the lines of “I’ll see you later”. She gave you a confused look but didn’t push.

You found yourself down that same hallway as earlier, but this time you decided to take a right, which led you to a set of stairs. You usually weren’t one for snooping, but what’s wrong with poking around people’s houses every once in a while?

It was eerily quiet as you made your way up the stairs, the ambiance from the party dwindling down with every step you took upwards. At the landing, there was a hallway and three rooms: two bedrooms and one bathroom.

The hallway was narrow and dark; clearly, the host(s) had no intent of guests going up here. The bedroom at the end of the hallway was shut, and you were 99% sure that it was occupied by two random strangers hooking up. You couldn’t be too hateful, though, because you were also notorious for leaving parties with men you barely knew. Tonight, you weren’t sure if that was a goal you had in mind.

Next to the shut-doored bedroom, there was an unoccupied bathroom. You were surprised that you weren’t currently in there, hurling up every drink you downed tonight.

You finally brought your gaze to the room directly in front of you- it was the last bed room. The door was wide open and the lights were off, but there was a large window with its curtains drawn open despite the time of night. The window gave you a perspective of how late it was; even if the room was not lit by any electric lights, the moonlight was bright enough for you to make out a few items in the room.

Despite you telling yourself not to, you were so drawn in by the window that you ended up venturing into the room. You didn’t bother flipping on any light switches or anything, it would just be a quick peek anyways.

You wandered around the room a bit, taking note of a messy bed, an old desk, and a body-length mirror. You stopped in front of the mirror for a second to look at yourself. Your makeup was surprisingly still intact given how sweaty you had been the whole night, and your dress had something stained on the bottom of it. Someone probably spilled some drink on it and you had already forgotten.

Shaking your head, you headed to the window next. It was a window seat. You welcomed yourself into the center spot.

The window had a direct view of the backyard. It was a cold, gloomy night, so there was a lack of presence outside of the house. You pressed your burning cheek against the cool glass and brought your opposite hand to your forehead, cursing yourself. The rush from your last drink was already wearing off. You needed another drink.

You begrudgingly hoisted yourself up from your spot and stood. The doorway looked less enticing with every step. As you walked closer to the door, you caught sight of a figure coming up the steps. You wouldn’t have enough time to leave the room without being caught for snooping. As shit as this party was, you didn’t want to get kicked out.

You did the next best thing and you crouched down right next to the bed, out of sight of the doorway.

The figure quickly entered the room and shut the door quietly before sitting at the foot of the bed, facing the window. If this person turned their head slightly to the left, you’d be spotted. You held your breath.

The person got up and walked to the window seat, not yet sitting down. You got a good look at them, as their face was lit up by the moonlight.

He was around your age, donned in a pair of black cargo pants and a white hoodie. You’d never seen him before. He had a certain curious nature about him, not only because he was unknown to you, but because he was someone was just as passive as you were at this party.

The man let out an exasperated sigh, eyes not once leaving the nighttime view. He took off his sweatshirt to reveal a plain black T-shirt, it hugging his figure nicely as he tossed his sweatshirt just somewhere else in the room. You watched the sweatshirt land with a thud before you brought your attention back to the man, who was now opening the window to let in a cold breeze.

He let in a deep breath before turning his head towards the empty room, or to what he thought was an empty room.

When he’d opened the window, it’d let more moonlight spill into the room, revealing you from your not-so-secret hiding spot. Once he laid his eyes on you, you both looked like a deer in headlights.

“Hello?” He asked, confused.

You cleared your throat, “Hi. I swear I wasn’t stalking you.” You picked yourself up off of the floor, and sent him an awkward look.

“Wait, you don’t need to leave.”

You thought about it before deciding to either leave and go get another drink, or stay and talk to the stranger. You didn’t need another drink. You knew your body could only take so many more until you’d be unable to be conscious of anything. Plus, you always met new men at these parties, and usually ended up leaving with them. What’s the harm in getting to know a stranger rather than having just a one night stand with them?

You sat yourself down on the bed, facing the stranger. A moment of silence ensued before it was broken by him.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you before.”

You nodded, meeting his gaze, “Yeah, me neither. My name is Y/N.”

“Jake,” he returned, positioning himself so he could see you better, “what brings you up here?”

You quickly became defensive, “I usually don’t go and snoop around at parties if that’s what you’re insinuating-”

“No, no, no! That’s- that’s not at all what I meant,” Jake started, straightening himself, “It’s just that when I take a break from a large group of people, I don’t usually expect to find someone else off where I usually hide.”

You gave him an odd look, “Why do you go to parties if you only go hide, then?” You ran your fingers through a section of your hair, keeping your front strong.

“I like parties, don’t get me wrong,” he begins, getting up from the window seat. He closes and locks the window as he continues, “it’s just that sometimes, when I’m dragged to them against my own will, they lose any sort of fun that they have. May I?” He had made his way to the spot next to you on the bed, not yet sitting down because he wanted to test the waters first. You nodded, scooting over to make room for him. He sat down next to you, using both of his hands to lean on rather than sitting normally.

“I understand. I was just up here for that same reason, I guess. Not really,” you admitted, shrugging and then turning to the boy next to you, propping your hand on the bed towards him.

The amount of moonlight in the room had been lessened due to the fact that Jake closed the window, but his features will still well illustrated. He had big, wondrous eyes, and a full set of lips. His hair was long and unkempt- obviously messy from the heat of the party. You felt overdressed for the occasion in his presence, yet in a sense you still had enough pride to wear your skimpy dress even in the cold months of winter. You didn’t fail to notice how his eyes lingered on your lips as you studied him.

Lifting his gaze from your lips back to your eyes, he slowly responded, “Yeah. I know how you feel.”

You licked your lips before leaning in slightly closer to him, “Do you?” His eyes fell back down to your lips as you slightly held a pout after you asked him the taunting question. He let out a shaky sigh as the distance between you two decreased, and you felt his hot breath on your lips.

Jake had brought one of his hands towards your almost-exposed thigh and hovered over it until you took your own hand and placed his right on your thigh. Almost immediately, you grabbed his face and pulled him in for a kiss.

The kiss was hot, messy, and desperate. Jake repositioned himself so he could hold your waist, and you took the opportunity to move your hands to the nape of his neck. He tasted like alcohol, as did all of your hookups. You knew he was bound to be one the second he sat on the bed, but you didn’t mind. You welcomed him with open arms (and legs).

It was intoxicating. Alcohol aside, you felt a strange new feeling bubble in your chest while the two of you were kissing. You pulled him even closer, signaling that you wanted more.

He moved his hand from your thigh to your ass, grabbing it, which caused you to groan into his mouth, only egging him on further.

Moments later, a knock came from the bedroom door, separating you two. He motioned for you to hide on the floor next to the bed (ironically the exact spot he had found you in earlier) while he went to open the door.

He half-heartedly fixed his hair that you’d somehow made worse from when you first found him, straightened his clothes, and opened the door.

“Matthew? What’s up, man?” He greeted. It sounded like the two knew each other.

“Hey, Jake. I just wanted to come in here and make sure no one was getting busy on my bed, because the door was shut. I was mad worried, y’know?” ‘Matthew’ laughed air-headedly, Jake joining in.

“Yeah, I get it. But nah, nothing going on up here! I just needed a break from the noise, you know me,” Jake sent back, to which Matthew laughed and said, “Yeah man, it’s chill. Keep my room safe, okay?”

The two men did some sort of handshake before Jake closed the door again.

He wasted no time in closing the distance between you two again, asking, “Where were we?”

You slightly pushed him away, giving him a flirty look before crossing your way to the door, “We should probably leave.” You went to open the door, but Jake caught your wrist.

“Are you leaving? Like, the party?” He asked as nonchalantly as possible, but you could hear the desperation seeping through his words. You nodded, finally opening the door for the two of you.

“Oh, okay, cool. See you around, then?” Jake asked as you began descending the steps. You stopped in your tracks and turned around to meet his gaze, “What? Do you think you’re going to stay here? I thought that we had something to finish.”

Jake quickly got the hint as he stumbled (semi-awkwardly) down the steps towards you, following you as you went to find Ningning to tell her you were leaving with a boy.

You found her figure quickly, still drinking and still surrounded by the group you had last seen her with. When you tapped her shoulder, she quickly whipped around to find you and give you a smile. When she saw Jake, an indecipherable look plastered its way onto her face before she returned her gaze to you and gave you a hug. After the embrace, she whispered, “Be safe. Text me if you need me.”

You gave her a reassuring smile before grabbing Jake’s hand and leading him to the door of the house.

ii. HOURS LIKE MINUTES

That wasn’t the last time you and Jake ended up hooking up, in fact you had seen each other on the regular about a month or so into the endeavor.

You wanted to say that you knew who Jake was, but that would be a lie. You didn’t know much about him past his name and where he lived, and to be frank, you didn’t really care to. Sure, he was one of the more fun hookups, but after all, he was just a hookup. Nothing more. You assumed he felt the same way. You were terribly mistaken.

A couple months ago, a day or two after your most recent hookup, Jake had told you he wanted to talk to you. You agreed, figuring it was a harmless conversation that needed to be had, about scheduling or him being out of town for a bit.

When you arrived at his house on that fateful day, he greeted you at the front door, looking more cheerful than he usually was when he saw you. You walked in his apartment to find it empty, as usual, and he led you to the couch.

It started off casual and harmless. You had mentioned wanting to watch a certain movie in passing once, and he had rented it so you could watch it together. You assumed it would be a classic “movie and chill” moment with him. You’d done it before, you wouldn’t be surprised if it were to happen again.

However, as the movie progressed, neither of you had made any advances, which was odd for the two of you.

Thirty minutes in, nothing.

An hour in, nothing

An hour and a half in, nothing.

Finally, the movie eventually came to an end and still, as expected, nothing had happened.

As the credits rolled, Jake muted the TV and turned to you, “So…? What’d you think?”

You sat there and looked at him. For a good thirty seconds, at that. Saying nothing. Just looking. Jake began to look uneasy, gulping and asking, “Was it worth the watch?”

You finally answered him, “It was good, I guess. Nothing special.”

He looked slightly deflated but still kept up a happy demeanor, “Cool, cool. I thought so too.”

A silence consumed you two as you just looked at him. He was fidgeting, looking anywhere in the room but at you. You’d never seen him this blatantly nervous before, albeit most of the times you’d seen him, you were both intoxicated to some degree.

“Well,” you started, rising from your spot, “I guess I’ll get going then.”

Jake immediately rose from his spot, surprising you. He seemed anxious, quickly saying, “Why? Do you have somewhere to be?”

“No,” you told him, still gathering your things. You didn’t care if this hurt his feelings, you guys were fuck-buddies and nothing else. There was no time or room for any sort of relationship, nor any activities that could even barely resemble a date.

“Oh… then why are you leaving so soon?”

You stopped packing up the bag you brought over and stared at him before responding, “Jake, you asked me to come over to talk about something with you, and I get here, and what do you do? Put on some damn movie. Well, the movie’s over now, and you still look like you have no intent of even bringing up what you supposedly called me over to talk about. So I’m leaving.”

Jake walked over to you quickly and grabbed your wrist. Out of habit, you pulled it away, telling him that you weren’t in the mood.

“Listen, Y/N. Will you please just sit down and hear me out for like ten minutes?” He pleaded, and when you met his gaze, you sighed but gave in, “Fine. Ten minutes, and then I’m leaving.”

He motioned for you to sit back down, and once you did he followed suit.

“Y/N,” Jake started. The way he said your name sent chills down your spine. You had never heard him use a voice so serious, not even during sex. No matter how his voice made you feel, though, you made sure to keep a blank face as you listened to him.

“I probably shouldn’t even be doing this, to be honest. But, here goes nothing, I guess. Y/N, I don’t know at what exact point that this happened, but I developed feelings for you. Like genuine feelings. At some point, I stopped caring about the sex and it eventually just started to grow into excitement to see you, make you laugh, or even see you in passing.”

Seeing as you didn’t respond, he continued.

“Those talks we have before and after we hookup are some of my favorite moments. You’re so beautiful, and every single thing you do sends me into a slight spiral because I wonder how I was so lucky to even get a chance to be around you. I don’t even know all that much about you, Y/N, but the fact that we only see each other to hookup drives me crazy. I know this is a lot, but I’m just asking you to please, please give me a chance.”

His face was bright red, and yours had stayed unfaltering. You weren’t stupid, you had some idea of how Jake felt for you, but you never wanted to feed into it. You knew you never saw him that way, and you were hoping he would just never acknowledge it so you could stay the way you two were.

Fate never liked to work out for you, though.

You cleared your throat before grabbing his hand and looking him in the eye, “Jake. You’re a sweet guy, and hooking up with you has been super fun. But I’ve told you before, I don’t really do relationships. And, if I’m being honest with you, I really don’t feel that way towards you.”

He looked as if he was a little boy and you’d just purposefully popped his favorite balloon.

Alas, you continued, “You’re a great guy. But I don’t see you that way. Plus, I’ve told you before- I can’t keep hooking up with people if there’s feelings involved.”

He gulped again. This time, instead of nervousness, he looked like he was swallowing back tears.

“I think it’d be best if we stopped seeing each other.”

You finally dropped the bomb on him, giving his hand one squeeze before dropping it. You grabbed your bag from the couch and slipped on your shoes, making your way out of his apartment. You didn’t have to look back at him to know he was upset.

That day was around four months ago now. Ever since that day, you hadn’t seen Jake, and had no intentions of seeing him.

It didn’t matter what he was up to anyways, you’d been seeing this new guy, Park Sunghoon, from your accounting class. You met a month or two ago after being partnered up for a project with two other people. Any time the group made plans to work on the project together, the other two people always made up some random excuse as to why they wouldn’t be there, so you and Sunghoon became close in a short time period.

Sunghoon was different from a lot of guys that you’d met. He was quiet, introverted, and majorly unreadable. He was an extremely popular guy, but he never let it get to his head. Sunghoon never just talked to talk, he always had something to say that was worth some sort of meaning. He was unbelievably attractive, too, so of course you two hooked up very early on. But what drew you in the most about Sunghoon was that he wasn’t like all your other fuck-buddies.

For one, you and Sunghoon had established a somewhat friendship before hooking up the first time, rather than just blindly meeting each other while fucked up at a party. Sunghoon wasn’t like the other guys.

Another reason he was different was because he knew his boundaries. He and you both knew when to stop, when to make sure you were treading the line between friends-with-benefits to having feelings, and how to leave you alone just enough to have you feeling the same lust every time you hooked up. Sunghoon wasn’t Jake. Jake never knew boundaries. He was blind and stupid. Sunghoon knew better.

You and Sunghoon had been seeing each other for some time now, but had never actually been to an outing together. You’d met some of his friends; you were quite familiar with Heeseung. He and Ningning had been dating for about a month now, after going back and forth with each other for weeks on end prior to them getting together.

You were supposed to all have met at Heeseung and Sunghoon’s shared apartment at 6:30 PM, and you and Ningning had just arrived at 6:17 PM. She picked you up in her new car, offering to let you be the first person you drove in it. You took her up on the offer, and were even able to make it early to the apartment, which you were grateful for.

As you two unloaded yourselves from her car, you were met with a text from Sunghoon:

sunghoon 💨☺️ : hey are u guys oyw

You quickly sent him one back:

you : yeah

you : walking up to ur apartment’s entrance rn actually

Within a few seconds, you and Ningning were met with the sight of Heeseung. The boy’s apartment was on the third floor, and he had bounded all the way down the steps to meet you guys at the bottom landing.

“Hello,” Ningning offered, grabbing her boyfriend’s hand. He said nothing back as he took the two of you upstairs to the apartment, the door already open.

The next time you peeked at the clock was when you entered the doorway, and it read 6:22 PM. At the sound of you entering, Sunghoon left his bedroom and found you in the living room.

“You’re here early,” he teased, holding you from behind.

“You’re so touchy,” you craned your neck to look at him and found him already smiling at you.

“What, am I not allowed to be touchy with you? You of all people-” you elbowed him lightly to get him to shut up before turning around in his grasp, “I never said I didn’t like it.”

Sunghoon ruffled your hair before returning to his room. It seemed like Heeseung and Ningning had also retreated to his room for the time being, so you followed Sunghoon into his room.

When you walked in, he was putting some papers away into a desk, so you took the opportunity to immediately flop onto his bed. You weren’t worried about how your hair would look. You were only with Sunghoon, and you knew he had a comb laying around here somewhere.

He quickly made his way to his bed, leaning over you, “You look nice.”

“Thanks, I try.”

He sat down next to your figure and soon also flopped back. You wasted no time in turning towards him and messing with his hair, his ears, any part of his face that was accessible at the moment. Sunghoon kept swiping your hands away, soon getting tired of your antics and grabbing your wrists so you would stop. He evilly smiled at you, getting up so he could pin your hands down to the bed.

Suddenly, their doorbell buzzed. Sunghoon groaned as he got up from your playful wrestling match and told you to comb your hair before yelling, “Coming!”

You sat up and patted most of your hair down, but got up anyways to find the comb.

“I don’t need to comb my hair,” you mumbled as you took a look at yourself in the mirror. As you turned to look at the back of your hair, though, you sighed in defeat, “okay, never mind, I do.”

You started looking for the comb near his bed, and then his dresser, then near his desk, and you even peeked in his closet. It was nowhere to be found.

Maybe he hadn’t left it in his room? It was probably in the bathroom, which was all the way across the apartment. It was a bother to go get it, but you needed it. You grabbed your phone and small handbag that you’d brought to his room and ventured out into the apartment. From down the hallway, it sounded like the boys and Ningning had let in whoever else was joining you tonight, so even if you went to go get the comb, you’d need to meet them at some point anyways. May as well be now rather than never.

As you made your way into the living room, you saw the figures of Sunghoon, Heeseung, Ningning, and three other people. The three had their backs faced to you, so you couldn’t exactly tell who they were or what they looked like. Your entrance grabbed the attention of everyone, and you waved to the unfamiliar faces that you could see.

One of them was a boy, you couldn’t remember his name, but you knew you’d seen his face in pictures before. He was Sunghoon’s childhood friend or something along those lines. You would probably be better off not knowing his childhood friend’s name. Sure, Sunghoon was fun to mess around with, but you had to make sure neither of you treaded too closely to the “catching feelings” line.

The other girl looked around your age, maybe a year younger. She was extremely pretty and had a beautiful smile. Her hair was long, black, and it cascaded down her back like a waterfall. You hated to admit it, but you were slightly envious of her. It didn’t matter, though, because you really had no interpersonal relationship. She was just some girl who you’d probably never see again.

The second you caught sight of the third figure, you felt your heart slightly drop. As soon as you made eye contact, you made a point to walk as quickly to the bathroom as you could. Suddenly you really needed that comb.

You trapped yourself in the bathroom for a minute or two, letting every thought you had ram into you like a freight train. You didn’t care that Sunghoon brought friends over. This wasn’t the first time you’d met some friends of his, and it wouldn’t be the last. You didn’t even care that out of all people, Jake was there. You didn’t ever see him that way, and seeing him tonight, after months, definitely wouldn’t change anything.

What you did mind, however, was that Jake and Sunghoon knew each other. Or, even worse, they were friends. You had every intention of never seeing Jake again after you cut things off, and majorly, until today, you were successful. And of course, against all odds, he was going out with you all tonight.

To be frank, you weren’t terrified of the idea of Jake returning to your life; he was a nice guy. You didn’t mind having him around as a “friend” back when you did regularly see him, but it was what went beyond that that drove you away. You were sure he wasn’t too thrilled to see you either.

It would be fine, though. As long as you both ignored what happened in the past, everything would blow over just fine. Plus, there was a chance that the unfamiliar girl was with him. It would be good for the both of you if he had moved on.

Moments later, you were met with a knock on the door, followed by Sunghoon saying, “Everything okay?”

You unlocked the bathroom door and peeped your face through the crack, “All good. Just, uh, can’t find the comb.”

“Hey, it’s okay, I have a spare,” he tried to open the door, but you wouldn’t budge.

“Please let me in my own bathroom.”

This time you complied, shutting the door again after he entered, and he opened up the cabinet above the toilet to find his extra comb. Once located, he handed it over to you, watching you as you combed your hair in the mirror. He started, “All ready?”

You begrudgingly nodded and he exited the bathroom with you trailing behind.

Sunghoon led to you the group that was all now sitting on the couch and chairs surrounding his and Heeseung’s living room coffee table. You scanned the living area for a seat, noting that the only one available was on the other side of Jake. That idea was immediately scrapped. Once you stood next to Sunghoon, he introduced you to the group.

“Everybody, this is Y/N. Y/N, that’s Jay,” he pointed to the familiar boy from the pictures, “that’s Ella,” he motioned to the beautiful girl next to Jay, “and that’s Jake. Ella’s boyfriend.”

You nodded and waved slowly at the new faces, making sure not to pay any mind to Jake at all. It didn’t matter if this action hurt his feelings, he had a girlfriend now. He could go cry to her about it.

“Hi,” you started, “nice to meet you all.”

You finally decided to make eye contact with Jake after saying this, even if it wasn’t nice to meet him again. At least not in this situation. Immediately after locking eyes with you, Jake put his arm around Ella’s shoulder.

Heeseung was the next person to speak:

“Who wants some alcohol?”

The tension around the group began to dissipate when Heeseung got up to get the drinks, leaving his spot next to Ningning open. As you commandeered his spot, Sunghoon trailed behind you to stand behind the couch. He seemed to do that a lot.

You looked up at Sunghoon, saying, “Someone should probably help Heeseung with the drinks.”

He nodded, and Jay also quickly stood up to join the other two in the kitchen.

This left you, Ningning, and Ella. And Jake.

The couple quickly engaged in their own conversation before Ningning was able to elbow you in the side and whisper in your ear, “Didn’t you used to hook up with him?!”

You nodded briefly, widening your eyes quickly at the situation. She sent you a sympathetic smile and put her hand on your knee. In the past few months, you’d let yourself become closer with Ningning, which was a blessing for you. Even if you weren’t all that close, you still had her as a friend. It definitely helped that her boyfriend’s roommate was the guy you were seeing.

In a quick moment, Jake also stood up and went to the kitchen to help with drinks. In a sense, you kind of missed him. Sure, you didn’t miss his clingy nature, or the fact that he was the reason that you two fell apart, but he really was a good guy. Of course, there were times when you also missed having him in bed with you.

Ella looked nervous and adjusted her dress — a blue dress — before giving you and Ningning an awkward smile. You doubt she knew about you and Jake, and was probably just an anxious person. Even if she did know, though, it didn’t matter. Because what you and Jake had was in the past.

Ningning broke the silence first, “So, Ella, you and Jake? How’s that going?”

She smiled. God, she was absolutely stunning. You knew your own self value, but she was something else. She looked like the type of girl that beautiful poetry was written about. The blue dress she wore complimented her skin tone and brought out her best features. You had to give it to her, she really knew how to dress to the nines.

“It’s great,” she fawned, taking a peek over at his figure in the kitchen, “we’ve been dating for a couple months now, and he’s just so great.”

“Wow,” Ningning replied, “I’m happy for you guys!”

You nodded, adding, “How’d you two meet?”

“We were at the same party and Jay set us up,” she laughed, “I remember Jay telling me in our physics class that his ‘friend needed a new slate for dating’ and how he knew I was single, so he set us up at a party! I’m really happy he did, too.”

The new slate for dating of course meant you. You had forgotten about Jay and Jake sharing an apartment together, and obviously because of that, Jay knew who you were and what you did to Jake. More like what had happened, but you cursed yourself for forgetting that Jay was someone that knew both Jake and Sunghoon.

“Well, congrats!” Ningning smiled back at her, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. Ella had turned her back on you two to watch the boys make drinks again, and in that moment, Ningning gave you the biggest “what the fuck??” look you’d ever seen in your life. You simply shrugged in return.

Not long after, the boys returned with drinks, ready for you all to pregame for the night ahead of you. You opted to just do straight Vodka shots with orange juice as a chaser to get yourself going. You watched Sunghoon take a few shots of Fireball before smiling at you and grabbing at your ears. That was a little habit you two had started doing: grabbing each other’s ears to mess with the other. You kind of realized that it could come off as a bit flirty, so you tried to hold back on doing it often, but sometimes it came to you like a second nature.

“Stop touching me,” you whined at him, swatting his hands off your ears.

“I can’t help it,” he cooed at you, “you just look so cute.”

Here it comes, flirty Sunghoon. It didn’t take very long for him to become tipsy, and when he did, he’d become a flirt. It was flattering, but when you were trying to get sloshed and you had him following you around like a dog, it could become extremely annoying.

You didn’t miss how Jake was watching you and Sunghoon’s interaction, even with Ella sitting right next to him.

Eventually, once everyone had finished pregaming, the Ubers to take you seven to the club had arrived at the apartment. You started grabbing your handbag and as you went to grab your phone, you realized you’d accidentally left it in the bathroom.

“Don’t wait up for me, I’ll just be a second,” you said to Sunghoon and Ningning as you walked to the bathroom to get your phone. The two listened, so once you returned to the living space, you noticed that the only three people left in the apartment were, including you, Jake and Heeseung.

You made a beeline for the door, but Jake was quickly on your heels. Heeseung stayed back to lock up the apartment.

As you descended the steps attempting to avoid Jake, you failed, as he caught up to you and started a conversation, “Hi.”

“Hey,” you replied half-heartedly. Either Jake couldn’t tell that you didn’t want to talk or he simply didn’t care, because he continued:

“So you and Sunghoon, huh?”

He sounded a bit hurt, but you weren’t going to feed into it. You promptly replied, “Yep. You have a girlfriend now, isn’t that crazy? How the times change.”

Jake nodded awkwardly, gulping, and then starting again, “Yeah, she’s cool. She’s not you though.”

You shook your head at him. It was unbelievable how much audacity he had to say that. Especially on the first day of seeing each other again. You cut him off for a reason, you reminded yourself.

“Yep.”

You ended the conversation there as you exited the apartment building, finding Sunghoon on the sidewalk. He gave you a confused look.

“Do you guys know each other?”

You pondered for a second before replying:

“Something like that.”

iii. LIKE A CRIMINAL

Exactly one day later, you found yourself at Sunghoon and Heeseung’s apartment, looking for your fling. You two had made plans to go drive out to see some of your mutual friends, and he was going to meet you at his place, but you had beaten him there.

He had told you where the hidden key was located, because you were notorious for showing up unannounced, and especially in this occasion he trusted you to house sit. Plus, you had expected him to be home in about ten minutes, like he’d texted you.

What you didn’t expect was to see Jake lying on the couch when you walked in. His head immediately shot up when he heard you enter. You gave him an extremely confused look before saying, “I’m just gonna go to Sunghoon’s room and wait for him to get here.”

You sped past him yet heard him say, “Wait, Y/N!”

You paid him no mind as you situated yourself on Sunghoon’s bed, lying down and pulling out your phone to text him:

you : i broke in again

Within moments, he replied:

sunghoon 💨☺️ : not surprised

sunghoon 💨☺️ : there’s a car accident but im on my way

sunghoon 💨☺️ : it’s looking like it’ll still be 10 mins though i will be speedy for u

you : my hero! 😮😮

You put your phone down and you were met with the sight of Jake standing in Sunghoon’s doorway. As if on cue, you sighed. It’d been a whole one day since you saw him last and he couldn’t leave you alone. It was like your own personal Hell.

You couldn’t deny that he looked really good though.

Jake approached you slowly and with caution, “Sorry about what I said yesterday. About Ella not being you. It was weird, and I was tipsy, so I’m sorry.”

You raised your eyebrows at the man in front of you. You sat up and tilted your head at him, “You’re.. forgiven.”

He sent you a small smile before pulling up a chair to sit across from you on. You checked the time on your phone before looking back at him. It had to be only about eight-ish minutes until Sunghoon arrived.

Jake spoke next, “It’s nice to see you again.”

You nodded at him, “It’s been a bit.”

He smiled at you, “It’s definitely odd for me to see you with Sunghoon now, but he’s a good guy.”

You shrugged, “I don’t know if you could consider him someone I’m ‘with’ right now, he’s kind of just a fuck-buddy. He’s very sweet though, you’re right.”

“Homie hopping, I see,” Jake teased you from across the room. You hated to admit it, but you did really miss being around him. You’d forgotten how he knew just how to press your buttons, tease you, and make you feel just as annoyed as you did lustful.

You playfully shoved his shoulder from across him.

“I miss us,” you admitted, “not because I’m unhappy with Sunghoon, but having you around was always nice. Sometimes I wish we could go back to the way things were.”

“I feel the same,” Jake replied instantly. It was almost as if he’d been waiting for you to say that. However, before formulating his next sentence, he took a pause. His next sentence was barely spoken above a whisper:

“Maybe it could.”

You furrowed your eyebrows at him. Did he say what you thought he did?

“What?”

Jake slowly got closer to you, and you felt yourself transported back four months. God, he always knew how to make you feel weak in the knees. Sunghoon did too, but it was different. You had really liked messing around with Jake.

In the next moment, you could feel Jake’s lips almost on your own. Your heart skipped a beat.

“Maybe it could,” it was barely louder than last time, but this time it rung through your whole body. You found yourself grabbing one of his arms, almost feeding into the past with him.

You two broke apart as soon as you heard the door open. You motioned for Jake to hide behind the bed frame while you went to talk to Sunghoon, as he had just arrived. How ironic.

“Hello, Y/N,” he smiled, ruffling your hair slightly, “did you miss me all too much?”

“Not even a little bit,” you teased, going up behind him and smacking his ass. He immediately whipped around and you slipped away and ran to the living room, laughing.

“You’re such a bother,” he cornered you between the table and the wall, ready to grab you whenever you decided to try and run away.

You screamed as he once again chased you, and once he finally caught you, he picked you up and took you to the couch.

“Get your shoes on,” he ordered, “we should probably get going soon.”

You complied, rising from the couch and patting down your hair, “You’re really good at messing up my hair,” you complained sarcastically from across the room.

“Damn right, I am.”

You slipped on your sneakers and met Sunghoon at the door of the apartment.

“Ready to go?” he asked, to which you nodded.

You both left the building and bounded down to his car outside of the apartment.

As you neared the car, you couldn’t push away the guilt that was eating you alive from what happened with Jake. Sure, you and Sunghoon weren’t exclusive or anything serious, but it still felt wrong in a way. You and Jake were meant to be left in the past.

Around five minutes later, you receive a text:

unknown number : hey

You stared at it, confused, before responding:

you : who is this

The number wasted no time to respond:

unknown number : take a wild guess

unknown number : :)

You rolled your eyes, immediately knowing who it was, wondering how he obtained your number:

you : jake how the fuck did you get my number

You swiftly changed the contact name, then waited for a response. Sunghoon looked over at you, “Are you good?”

Caught off guard, you stumbled over your words, “Yeah, yeah, I’m goo- I’m great. Why wouldn’t I be?” He furrowed his eyebrows at you before turning his gaze back to the road, “You’re a bad liar.”

Suddenly, Jake responded:

do not answer : doesn’t matter

do not answer : i have a question though

You rolled your eyes, typing a response:

you : what

As if on cue, he texted back:

do not answer : what was that earlier

do not answer : in sunghoon’s room

do not answer : and do not fucking say nothing

You silently sighed and then formulated a message:

you : i don’t know, let’s just forget about it

His end went silent suddenly. You chewed your lip nervously, awaiting a response. You didn’t need one, you knew that. But knowing him, he wouldn’t let you have the last word. Especially not in this situation.

About an hour later, you received a final message:

do not answer : can you meet me tonight

iv. A FIRE BURNS INSIDE ME

You knew you were making a big mistake. It was a horrible idea: agreeing to meet Jake in secret. You really didn’t know why you made such stupid decisions sometimes; it was like you were your own worst enemy.

But here you were, at 10pm, quietly knocking on Jake’s apartment door. He had told you that Jay staying with his parents as he went to visit them out of town, and obviously there would be no trace of Ella there. You felt bad for the girl, knowing that you were meeting up with her boyfriend in private. Plus, with the whole bedroom incident earlier, you would need to tread lightly. You were going to make sure that nothing happened.

You waited at the door for another minute before Jake opened it quickly and ushered you in, “I have neighbors who know Ella, so I can’t have them getting the wrong idea if you’re here.”

Right. Funny.

He shut the door behind you quickly, leading you to the couch in his living room. The last time you were on this couch was the last time you ever planned on seeing Jake.

You opted on taking a seat on one side of the couch after Jake sat himself on the other. He smiled at you from his spot, trying to ease your nerves about behind there alone with him.

“Do you want something to drink?” He asked. He knew you well.

You smirked, “A glass of red wine would be lovely.”

He got up from his seat on the couch and quickly made his way to the kitchen. Your eyes trailed his figure before it went out of sight. Taking a deep breath, you checked your phone, a couple messages dancing across your screen.

From Sunghoon:

sunghoon 💨☺️ : no

sunghoon 💨☺️ : but i can try to work something out

From Ningning:

ningning : okay i can pick you up if you’d like

From an attractive boy in your major:

wonbin park : yea i didn’t understand it either if that makes you feel any better

wonbin park : if you want to we could try to meet up with the professor for help

wonbin park : up to you tho

And from a childhood friend, Jungwon:

jungwon 🚨🚨 : u make such bad decisions y/n

jungwon 🚨🚨 : if u still lived in town i’d come find u and strangle u idk

Jungwon was really calling you out. You knew he was right, you should probably just leave.

In the same breath, though, Jake did offer to give you a drink, and to at least be polite, you knew you should stay until you finish it.

Jake made his way back from the kitchen to find you, and he had two glasses of red wine and the wine bottle, both glasses in one hand and the bottle in the other. He placed your glass in front of you onto a coffee table with the bottle nearby and sat down with his own glass.

You took a sip before breaking the silence, “So why did you call me over?”

“I dunno,” he answered, “I feel like we kind of have some catching up to do, I guess. Do you wanna watch something? A romcom, maybe?”

“That’s fine.” You needed the background noise if you were going to talk to Jake anyways. You might go insane if you had to engage in conversation and give him your undivided attention.

For the first half hour of the film, no words were exchanged besides commentary about the plot. Once you two had finished a couple of drinks, the atmosphere lightened up, and you began to converse more freely.

“What do you really think about Sunghoon?”

A question that Jake asked that had actually stuck out to you amongst his nonsense. You couldn’t pinpoint exactly why this question bothered you so much, but you answered anyways:

“He’s a gentlemen. Great in bed, good friend, pretty funny. Sometimes I could see myself gaining feelings for him, but I seriously doubt that’ll happen. I just can’t go for fuck-buddies, y’know?”

Jake laughed, “I mean, I don’t know. Obviously.”

You rolled your eyes playfully at him before reaching over and flicking his forehead, “Knock it off.”

He made a swipe at your wrist but you’d pulled it away too quickly for him to grab. He slouched in his spot, teasing you while singing, “Sorry..”

You readjusted yourself on the couch before taking your turn to ask a question, “What do you really think of Ella?”

At her name, Jake tensed up slightly. It was subtle, but enough of his body reacted for you to notice.

“Hah.. about that…” he trailed off.

“What? What happened? You guys were literally all over each other yesterday,” you nagged. It was true; Ella was gushing about Jake while she talked to you two, and when all of you went out, they never left the other person’s side.

“We, uh, we’re on a break. Right now, I mean,” he confessed, surprising you.

“What the hell? Why?” you asked, almost accusatory, though you assumed the break happened due to Ella, but you couldn’t be sure. You grabbed the TV remote and paused the movie, wanting to actually listen to his story.

Jake sighed, “I really couldn’t tell you,” he paused, taking a drink of the wine, “it was really sudden. It happened this morning.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry. That really sucks,” you comforted him, scooting closer to pat him on his knee. You let your hand rest there for a couple of seconds, and Jake puts his hand on top of yours.

“Don’t touch me,” you teased, lightly hitting him on the shoulder.

“Don’t touch me!!” Jake mocked you, now going for the side of your neck with a small jab.

“Jake,” you warned, playfully giving him a scowl. At this point, you had sat up on your knees, giving you a better range of motion to attack the man in front of you, and a better opportunity to dodge his attacks.

As you went to try and grab his waist for pressure points, he grabbed your wrists and pulled you closer to him, “Jake….” He mocked, getting in your face to tease you.

The play fighting soon escalated into playful wrestling on his couch, mostly with Jake winning as he was much stronger than you.

At some point, he pushed you a little too hard and you landed with your back on the couch. Because he was holding your wrist at the moment, you took him with you on your small tumble, causing the man to be hovering inches away from your face.

His outer arm was propped up on the couch, caging you into your spot. He was still holding onto your wrist with his other hand. You could smell the wine on his breath, but it was ultimately overpowered by the scent of his cologne.

That goddamn cologne.

In an instant, you pushed your lips onto his. The kiss was fiery, sloppy, and hot. He tasted like alcohol. You didn’t even care.

Jake immediately leaned further into the kiss, his grip on your wrist loosening almost instantly. You felt him breathe a sigh through his nose, signifying that he had been anticipating, hoping something that like this would happen.

You took this as a sign to continue. You brought your free hand to the nape of his neck, slightly running your fingers through his hair. Jake slightly groaned into your mouth before taking the hand that was holding your wrist and instead bringing it to the side of your face.

The alcohol coursed through your veins as you made your next move. Lust-driven, you pushed Jake slightly in the chest with your free hand and you both sat up, your lips temporarily leaving the other’s.

As soon as you were both sat normally on the couch, Jake pulled you into his lap, his hands finding your waist. You brought your hands to his shoulders, one hand making its way to his upper back and the other one going to grab for his hair again.

Jake swiped his tongue on your bottom lip, and you immediately complied, opening your mouth to kiss him deeper. Jake gripped your waist tighter and pulled you closer to him, your bodies now touching. As he pulled you, you felt his bulge in his pants brush up against your lower regions, eliciting a whimper out of you. You pulled onto his hair harder.

Jake’s hands slowly made their way from your waist to your torso, his cold hands slipping under your baggy shirt you wore, giving you goosebumps.

His breath made you crinkle your nose when you broke apart momentarily, his half-lidded eyes meeting yours. He began running a hand up and down your back, his eyes instead making their way down to your parted lips. Jake took his right hand from under your shirt and gently pushed your hair away from above your shoulder, exposing your neck and a part of your collarbone.

He met eyes with you again while leaning in, looking for your okay. You couldn’t even think straight, you had forgotten how much this man drove you crazy with lust. You just bit your lip and nodded, and he immediately started planting kisses on your neck, slowly bringing them further down your body, towards your collarbone and shoulder. At points, he would find your weak spots and kiss deeper, longer, and he would even suck on the skin.

You hated that he still remembered you well.

You guys were meant to be in the past.

What the fuck were you doing right now?

You tried getting his attention, though most of the words came out as whimpers because of what he was doing, “Jake… Jake.”

You moved your hands from his neck and back and placed them both on the top of his shoulders, slightly pushing him back. He detached himself from your neck and looked back at you with eyes that you didn’t know could contain that much lust.

“Jake…”

Jake loosened his grip on your torso and dropped his hands back to your hips. His voice was husky as he replied, “Yeah? Is everything okay?” You could still smell the wine on his breath due to the proximity, making a point to remove your hands from his shoulders now.

You gulped at him, looking at him in the eyes with a concerned expression, “No, no. Everything’s not okay.”

He tilted his head in confusion at you, signaling that he wanted you to continue, “What’s wrong, Y/N?”

“Us, Jake. We shouldn’t be doing this. You and I both know this, I don’t know why I even agreed to come here…” you started rambling, taking Jake’s hands off your hips and pulling yourself off his lap. You straightened out your clothes before pacing around his living room, searching for your shoes. You cursed yourself a million times.

“What? Y/N, what did I do?” Jake sounded worried, getting up from the couch and following your body with his eyes.

You turned to face him, “Jake. You and I both know damn well that ‘this’,” you beckoned between the two of you, “should not be happening.”

“What do you mean?” He started walking towards you, you now scampering away because you found your shoes. You needed to leave as soon as possible.

“Are you kidding me? What do you mean , ‘what do you mean?’? Jake, you have a girlfriend. What the fuck are we doing?” You sighed exasperated at him, slipping your shoes on in a quick manner.

“Fuck,” he said, running a hand through his hair, “fuck, Y/N. You know we’re on a break.”

“That doesn’t mean you should pounce on me at the first opportunity you get!” You emphasized, getting frustrated. “I was stupid for coming over here alone. I’m sorry for initiating anything. We need to be left in the past.”

“We don’t have to be, though!” Jake urged, his voice also raising, “Y/N, I know you’re with Sunghoon, but you don’t have to be. I can treat you right. You- you deserve better.” Jake began slurring his words, the alcohol taking over his speech process.

You looked at him, eyebrows furrowed in anger, “This was a mistake.”

You grabbed all your belongings before quickly exiting his apartment. As you left, you heard Jake calling your name, “Y/N!”

You couldn’t believe yourself. It wasn’t about Ella or Sunghoon. Ella didn’t have a say if she initiated a break with him, and Sunghoon didn’t have a say either; he was just your fuck-buddy after all.

What it was about was you not sticking to what you told yourself. You and Jake needed to be something that stayed in the past, yet here you just were, making out with him in his apartment, months after breaking things off. You knew better.

You quickly called Ningning, who lived about a couple blocks away. She picked up the phone right as you exited the apartment complex.

“Hello?”

“Hey.”

“Woah, you sound fucked up. Are you okay?”

“I- I don’t know. Probably not. I’m drunk. Can you come pick me up?”

“Where are you?”

You cleared your throat before continuing, trying to formulate this next sentence as best as possible without sounding guilty, even though you were very much guilty.

“I’m, uh, like right near Jake’s apartment building. Like, I’m standing in front of it now.”

Ningning had picked you up from Jake’s apartment before when you used to hook up, especially when you and her had made plans for the following day. She knew exactly where you were. She didn’t give you a physical reaction, but you were sure to hear about it the following morning.

“I’m on my way. Stay right where you are.”

Within a minute or two, Ningning pulled up in front of the apartment building. Once you got in the car, you were met with a crazed look, “You have a lot of fucking explaining to do.”

“I know. I know. It’s not what you think it is, though.” You lied right through your teeth to her. Whatever was happening at Jake’s was about to escalate into exactly what Ningning was assuming you were doing there. You’re glad you stopped it, but the feeling of being pissed off at yourself for even going overpowered any happiness you felt in the moment. You couldn’t even think properly anyways. The wine had taken a bigger toll on you than you’d anticipated.

Ningning started driving towards her apartment in silence.

Suddenly, your phone screen lit up with a text:

do not answer : im sorry

v. MY HEART CRAVES YOU

A week or two later and you hadn’t seen Jake and had no plans to. You still beat yourself up over what happened, sometimes contemplating whether going out was even worth it anymore. You always had that chance of running into him.

But, when Sunghoon invited you to pregame with him, Heeseung, and Ningning before a party, you figured that you’d been celibate from parties for long enough now, and going to at least one wouldn’t hurt. You missed the atmosphere of getting fucked up and not having to think about anything for a bit. It’s what you needed right now anyways.

You found yourself at Sunghoon’s apartment again, waiting outside the door for him to let you in. You chewed on your lip at the situation; Sunghoon had no idea about what happened, but you were terrified it would all come back to bite you in the ass sooner or later. You pushed the thought out of your brain. You and Sunghoon weren’t anything serious anyways.

Sunghoon opened the door and pulled you into his apartment, “Hey!”

You smiled at him almost immediately. Being around him really did ease your nerves, you hated to admit. He looked really good tonight, clad in just a T-shirt and his sweatpants with freshly washed hair.

“Hi,” you laughed, following him to his room, “sorry I’m here early, I tried to take more time getting ready, but I haven’t partied in a couple weeks and I got eager.”

“Why are you apologizing for coming to see me early? I like having you around,” he said as you sat yourself on his bed. He tugged at the top of your ear once.

“Okay, cornball,” you blushed at his words, rolling your eyes playfully at him, “You’re such a flirt.”

“I’m not allowed to flirt with you now?” He questioned you dramatically, “What kind of society do we live in?”

You laughed at his antics as he walked to his closet to pick an outfit for the night. He held up clothes for you, waiting for you to give him either a thumbs up or down depending on your opinion on it.

He ended up settling on a pair of black pants, a white hoodie, and he threw on a basketball jersey over it.

“Never knew you were such an athlete,” you commented, teasing him.

It sounded like Ningning and Heeseung had returned, bringing others with them. Sunghoon pulled you up from his bed and took you to the living room. You were met with the sight of Jay, Ella, and of course, Jake. You weren’t even surprised at this point.

“Oh,” Sunghoon remembered, “I forgot to tell you that Jay, Jake, and Ella are joining us to pregame. I hope you don’t really mind.”

“Even if I did, I don’t think it would really matter.” You half grumbled at him, hoping he wouldn’t pick up on your mannerisms.

You stopped him with you in the hallway, whispering, “Wait, why is Ella here?”

“What do you mean?” He furrowed his eyebrows at you, looking confused.

“I don’t know, someone told me that her and Jake went on a break.”

Sunghoon shook his head at you, “Uh, no. At least as far as I’m aware, they didn’t. I saw them on a date the day after you and I went to go see our friends. They’re with each other basically every day.”

You had to fight every urge to heavily sigh at the moment, “Oh, okay. Weird.”

You were so confused. The day after you and Sunghoon visited friends was the day after the whole incident that drove you away from Jake for two weeks happened. The same damn day, and he was with her the day after. A day long break didn’t make any sense to you. She was happy with him, and you all weren’t in high school. You shook your head at yourself with furrowed eyebrows as you walked back with Sunghoon towards the living room.

You smiled at Ella, who had Jake’s arm slithered around her waist. That poor fucking girl. She had no idea. You couldn’t believe him.

She smiled back at you radiantly. She was so beautiful.

Everyone stood in the living room, but instead of staying there, you all decided to head towards the kitchen to pregame, where there were already drinks out. You grabbed a Twisted Tea as you passed it, immediately cracking it open to drink. You needed the alcohol. The situation was stressing you out more than you’d like to admit. You had to confront Jake.

Around twenty minutes later, you found yourself passing him and tapping his leg. When he turned around, you gave him a look of “you need to talk with me, now.”

You slipped away to the bathroom, no one seemingly noticing your exit. You wanted this talk to be as quick as possible.

About three minutes of waiting later, Jake also slipped into the bathroom. He smiled at you as he walked in. You couldn’t believe his audacity.

“Hey, what’s up?” He asked, walking towards you. You put distance between him and yourself, crossing your arms.

If looks could kill, Jake would be a dead man.

“What the fuck is your problem?” You whisper-shouted, looking at him incredulously.

“Huh?”

“I heard from the grapevine that you,” you forcibly pointed at him, “and Ella were never on a break.”

His eyes widened. You were sure he didn’t mean to get caught, but his look told you everything.

“Don’t think I wouldn’t have found out, Sim,” you spat at him, “you’re actually unbelievable.”

An apology immediately started rushing out of his mouth at you, “Y/N, I’m so sorry. It’s just, I was intoxicated, and- and so were you, and we were alone… you know I’ve always had a thing for you since we met. But- but you’re with Sunghoon now, I know, so I saw it as my only chance.”

“Jake,” you sighed, “I honestly don’t think I can accept your apology. You know better. And you should apologize to Ella instead. I’m with Sunghoon now, and I know we were both drunk, but that can neverhappen again.”

He gulped before you laid the mallet down on him, “Last time we tried this should be evident of that.”

“You’re right.”

You immediately walked past him, opening the door to the bathroom and slipping back out and walking towards the kitchen.

Jake followed you around four minutes later, delaying his arrival to not bring up any suspicions. You made your way to stand between Ningning and Jay, grabbing another drink.

Seconds later, Sunghoon appeared behind you. He slid his arms around your waist, his cold touch sending a shiver down your spine. You craned your neck to look at him, trying to make eye contact but his eyes were elsewhere. His gaze was honed in on Jake, and if looks could kill, there would be Jake’s blood all over the apartment right now.

Jake averted eye contact and opted to look at Ella.

Once the pregaming ended, you found yourself in a car with Heeseung, Sunghoon, and Ningning. Heeseung was the designated driver, and you were grateful that you could get sloshed tonight and not have to think about anything for a bit.

Heeseung parked about a block away from the party, Jay parking about thirty feet behind you guys. The walk to the party was surprisingly cold for it being an almost summer night, the weather not missing its chance to brush the cold winds against your bare legs.

“You cold?” Sunghoon asked, taking a look over at you.

“Maybe a bit,�� you admitted, wrapping each of your arms around the other, “it’s fine, it’ll probably be sweaty in there anyways.”

Soon you all reached the party, one by one trailing into the loud house. It was already insanely packed, each corner and crevice of the place having people in it. The music was deafening, and the heat that already made its way towards you was all the evidence you needed that wearing only a dress was a good idea.

Sunghoon grabbed your hand, pulling you through the crowd and towards what you assumed would be the kitchen, or wherever the drinks would be located.

You made sure to grip well on his hand, because every person you tried to walk by somehow ended up not noticing your presence and never moving, causing you to fall behind.

Sunghoon led you into the kitchen, where it was surprisingly less crowded. You still could barely hear even though the music was a room away now. You could also barely see, the lights were so dim that you had to squint to see the faces of those around you.

There were a lot of drinks to choose from, most being put in plastic pitchers with labels made out of packing tape and sharpie.

You walked over, grabbed a red solo cup, and then made your way towards the pitcher labeled “JUNGLE JUICE” and poured yourself a cup, it almost being filled to the brim.

“Woah,” Sunghoon commented when he saw how full your drink was, “you should calm down with the amount, Y/N. Don’t want you getting sick.”

You looked at him, took a drink, then commented, “I may get sick, I may not. Not the end of the world if I do.”

He gave you a pointed look before asking, “Do you want to go back to the living room?”

You nodded and followed his lead as he parted the way for you. You tried your best to not get separated from him. It wasn’t like you weren’t able to handle being by yourself at a party, but you wanted to get a few drinks in before attempting to be independent.

Half an hour passed and you were on your fifth drink of the night. You weren’t sure how it was physically possible, but after you finished your fifth drink, you wanted another. You needed to forget everything that had happened over the past few weeks, and even if it was for one night, that was okay with you.

You parted ways with Sunghoon once again for the night, beckoning towards the kitchen and telling him that you’d be back soon.

After getting your sixth drink, you had every intention of getting back to Sunghoon. Instead, you found yourself getting intrigued by the outdoors. There weren’t many people outside, only about fifteen, but you figured there was nothing wrong with taking a breath of fresh air for a moment.

Opening the door, you were get again met with the cold breeze, but with all the alcohol running through your veins, you didn’t feel as cold as you did earlier.

You stepped onto the concrete patio and spotted who you thought was a classmate, Wonbin Park. He was sitting by himself in a lawn chair, seemingly observing everyone in the backyard.

You approached him, making yourself seen, to which he waved at you. You stood by his chair and he looked up at you.

“Hey,” he started, smiling at you. You doubted he had drank as much as you, you were sure you looked a mess. He looked fine. Good, even.

“Hey,” you replied, “what are you doing here?”

He laughed at your words, “I’m here to drink and forget about the past week. You?”

“It’s like you read my mind,” you commented.

“Almost like that’s what parties are for,” Wonbin said, nudging your bare knee, “how are you not cold right now?”

“I’ve had a lot to drink,” you admitted.

“I can tell,” he replied, “you should probably not finish that.”

Wonbin motioned to the drink in your hand, now already half empty.

“I’m fine.”

“You don’t look fine.”

As if Wonbin could read your mind, he wasn’t surprised when you gagged, suddenly feeling hot acid rising in your throat.

You ran over to the grass and let a bit of vomit escape your mouth, your eyes watering at the taste.

Wonbin walked quickly over to you, “Let’s get you inside, yeah?”

As he brought you inside, he asked, “Who are you here with?”

You had your hand held over your mouth as you tried not to vomit anymore. Wonbin ushered you to an empty bathroom so you could get sick (mostly) in peace.

“Are you here with Sunghoon?” He asked, worried for you.

You nodded miserably as you hunched over the toilet and let loose. It wasn’t as much as you thought it would be, but you felt disgusting. You knew it wouldn’t be all in one go, your stomach was upset. You’d probably be here for at least twenty minutes.

Wonbin looked at you, “I don’t want to leave you here alone, but I’m gonna go find Sunghoon.”

You offered no response as you continued getting sick in the toilet. The room smelled like alcohol, vomit, and toilet water. The smell alone could’ve made you vomit even more.

A minute later, a familiar figure entered the bathroom and crouched next to you. You were hoping it would be Sunghoon, but by the smell of the cologne which was now mixed in the air, you knew exactly who it was.

You wanted to be mad, but you were too miserable to focus your energy on that. You were just grateful someone would be there to help you while you tried not to die.

He gently pulled your hair back for you, keeping it up so you wouldn’t get sick all over it.

Jake could be alright sometimes.

He placed his other hand comfortingly on your back, rubbing it, hoping to soothe whatever you were going through. This action was cut short, however, when Wonbin returned with Heeseung, Ningning, and Sunghoon.

Even as loud as it was and as drunk as you were, the way that Sunghoon barked Jake’s surname rang through your mind, “Sim.”

You looked up from your spot to watch Heeseung, Jake, and Sunghoon disappear. Wonbin ushered Ningning towards you, her now taking the spot that Jake once occupied.

“Do you need anything?” Wonbin asked carefully.

You shook your head at him, not being able to speak.

“Okay,” he paused, “please don’t die, Y/N.”

You laughed as much as you physically could at his words, which in reality was a small chuckle, but if you had done any more, you could’ve thrown up all over Ningning. Throwing up in the toilet was enough for you.

Wonbin left. Quickly, Ningning turned to you and asked, “Y/N, why the fuck were you in here with Jake?”

“I-” you slightly turned to her, trying to speak, but failing. You turned your head back to the toilet bowl and hurled some more.

“I don’t know,” you croaked out, as loud as you could, “he- he didn’t bring me in here. Wonbin did. Jake just- he showed up.”

You slurred some of your words together. You couldn’t remember the last time you were this drunk.

Ningning said nothing but hummed at what you said. You didn’t think that she didn’t believe you, but you also weren’t sure that she did believe you.

Ten minutes of hurling later, Sunghoon and Heeseung returned in the doorway of the bathroom. Ningning got up and Sunghoon took her place, “I told you that you were gonna be sick.”

You vomited again.

He placed a hand on the small of your back and rubbed in a circle. You were glad he showed up. His presence made you feel a lot better than Jake’s did.

You stayed there for five minutes before attempting to stand up with the help of Sunghoon.

“Let’s leave,” he said to Heeseung.

Sunghoon laced his fingers with yours as he helped you out of the house. In the time that you’d been throwing up, the amount of people in the house had waned down. It was less difficult to make your way through the crowd now.

Most of the faces blurred as you walked past, but one really stuck out to you. Jake Sim was sitting on a couch with Ella.

His lip had been completely busted open.

You paid no mind to the wind as you exited the house. If anything, you welcomed it with open arms. It semi-sobered you up.

In the process of becoming more sober, you had come to the realization of something:

Jake hadn’t had a busted lip when he was comforting you.

What the Hell had happened in those ten minutes?

vi. I CAN’T REFUTE MY INSTINCTS

Sunghoon, somehow, had become even more protective of you as of late. You figured it had something to do with whatever happened between him and Jake at the party, and you had your suspicions of what went down, but when you’d asked Sunghoon, he always just tried to ignore the situation. Plus, you didn’t know if he would tell you the full truth anyways.

So, you got the genius idea to confront Jake instead.

Who were you kidding, it was a horrible idea. But you needed to have your suspicions confirmed, at the very least. So you texted him:

you : jake

Within seconds, a response came:

do not answer : yo

do not answer : what’s up

You couldn’t believe he was hitting you with a “yo” right now. Was he allergic to social cues?

you : i need to ask you about something

you : can i come over later

you : don’t get any ideas

He took a minute before responding:

do not answer : ig

do not answer : jays not home rn just come now

you : ok

You left your apartment within minutes. You weren’t exactly eager to see Jake, but nonetheless, you really wanted to know what was up with the party the other night. Even after you suffered through a hangover, you remembered that moment perfectly.

When you arrived at Jake’s apartment building, you chewed on your lip. You weren’t exactly sure why. You knew that nothing would happen, and all that was going to happen was Jake telling you the truth.

At least you hoped.

When you went to knock on his door, it swung open, Jake’s large figure greeting you before you even had a chance to register what was happening. He stepped to the side and let you walk in. You only made your way to further down his entrance hallway; you wanted to be in and out of here as quickly as humanly possible.

Jake trailed your figure and met you at the end of the hallway. He stood directly across from you and mirrored your body language as he leaned against the wall and crossed his arms.

“So,” you started, not wanting to waste any more time.

“So.”

You sighed, “I need you to be completely transparent with me, Jake.”

He gave you a pointed look, “What’s the problem?” He didn’t seem all too thrilled that you were here for once, which was a genuine surprise for you. You didn’t fail to notice how his lip was still busted, so you went ahead and bit the bullet:

“What happened to your lip?”

The question was simple, it could be chalked up to a friend having concern for another friend. But it wasn’t. You weren’t even really friends, and your only concern was the reason behind the busted lip. Not the person suffering the blow of it.

Jake’s gaze faltered slightly and you almost missed it. He swallowed quickly, “Nothing. I just hit it on something.”

“Bullshit,” you snapped back, “that’s bullshit and we both know it.”

“Why do you even care?” He pushed, his annoyance at you now becoming prevalent.

You rolled your eyes but had to think for a second. Why did you care? You didn’t care about Jake’s lip, you could give less of a fuck. You desperately needed to know about why it happened though. And why Sunghoon had suddenly flipped a switch. You weren’t stupid, you obviously knew something went down. But you needed your suspicions to be confirmed at the very least.

“You’re hurt, Jake,” you lied through your teeth, “anyone with eyes can see that your lip is fucked up. I care about whether you’re hurt. And I have a feeling it has to do with Sunghoon,” you paused, “and I’m sure you know that I should know what happened. But he hasn’t told me anything.”

You finally looked at him again, “Which is why I came to you.”

Jake sighed, running a hand through his hair. You knew you’d cracked him. It was almost too easy. You just hoped what he admitted was the full truth.

He licked his lips before speaking, “You’re right. This,” he motioned to his busted lip, “does have to do with Sunghoon. There. You happy now?”

So you were right. You desperately needed to know the details, though. You didn’t give up that easily.

“Jake.”

“What?”

“What happened between you guys?”

He let out another sigh, then pursing his lips to fight a scowl. He laughed a bit to himself before clearing his throat:

“We fought.”

You weren’t shocked. Between Sunghoon’s newfound behavior and Jake’s altered physical appearance, you assumed that was what happened. However, you feigned shock so he could continue.

“Yeah, I know, right? Funny. Good guy Sunghoon tried to beat the shit out of me,” he laughed through the pain, a look of discontent in his eyes.

“Why… why would he do that?” You mustered out. You scared yourself sometimes with how well you could act.

“You tell me.”

Your words temporarily genuinely got caught in your throat, “W- what?”

Jake tilted his head at you, “He’s your boyfriend.”

“Jake, you already know that he refuses to tell me anything about this. Plus, he and I aren’t dating anyways.”

“Really,” he commented passive aggressively, “because for someone who isn’t dating you, he was really protective over me helping you. While you were throwing up, mind you.”

“Huh?”

It started to click. The appearance of Jake, followed by the appearance of Sunghoon, Sunghoon barking Jake’s name, them leaving, and Sunghoon coming back, alone. And, of course, the busted lip.

“Yeah. Your little not-boyfriend was mad that I was your knight in shining armor for once, not him,” he scoffed, “and he told me to back off.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. Said he has suspicions about me or some shit like that.”

You laughed at his words. Of course Sunghoon had suspicions about Jake. You would have suspicions too if you were him.

“What’s funny?”

You attempted to return to normal, “Nothing, nothing. It’s just- Jake. You really can’t be mad about him having suspicions.”

Jake paused and chuckled while running a hand through his hair once more, “Yeah, he’s not wrong for having them, I guess.”

You rolled your eyes playfully at him before becoming a bit more serious, “Okay. Well, uh, I’m sorry about, y’know, that,” you motioned to his lips, “and- and thank you. For helping me all those days ago. And for being honest with me.” You gave him a genuine smile.

“Yeah, of course, uh, I’ll see you around then?” Jake said as you started walking towards his apartment door.

“Maybe,” you left him hanging, and as you were going to pull the door open, you turned to face him one last time as he waved bye to you.

Pulling the door open, you turned around, ready to leave. Instead, you ran into a tall figure, who was clearly trying to enter while you were trying to exit. So much for trying to go to see Jake unnoticed.

The man you ran into was none other than Jay.

vii. LIKE A FEVER

You weren’t surprised. You really weren’t.

Of course Jay would tell Sunghoon that you were at Jake’s. Of fucking course. And honestly, after the conversation you and Jake had about how Sunghoon felt about you two, you didn’t blame Jay for narcing. You did kind of resent him for it, though, because jumping to conclusions never ends well.

Plus, the situation had absolutely nothing to do with Jay. He should have just butted out while he was ahead.

When Sunghoon arrived at your apartment the morning following the Jay incident, you expected it to be a pleasant visit. Not whatever he was doing right now.

As soon as you let him in, he stormed past you into your living room. You tried to grab his arm but he just shook you off.

You shut the door and turned back around. He looked tense. You knew this wasn’t going to end well.

You shyly followed him into the living room, not entirely sure why you were cowering at the moment. You wanted to chalk it up to the fact that it was Sunghoon, but you were never this nervous about confrontations with fuck-buddies. It was weird.

When he reached the couch, he sat down and motioned for you to sit on the chair adjacent to it. Sunghoon ran a hand across his face and groaned.

“Y/N,” he breathed out, obviously irritated.

You looked at him, “Sunghoon…”

He scoff-laughed, “Do you want to explain yourself to me?”

“About- about what?” You asked. You weren’t dumb, but that doesn’t mean you wouldn’t play dumb for the time being.

“Don’t fucking play dumb, Y/N,” Sunghoon spat at you, “okay? Do not play dumb.”

“I can’t explain myself if I don’t know what you want me to explain.”

He sighed. You were right. You could tell he hated when you were right, because you’d cornered him into expressing his anger. Men never seemed to like to talk about their feelings.

“Okay,” he sighed, once more, exasperatedly, “Do you wanna tell me why you were at Jake’s yesterday? Alone?”

“Who told you that? Was it Jay? Because he doesn’t know the full story-”

“It doesn’t matter who it was, Y/N! You need to explain yourself!”

He stood up at his last sentence and looked at you incredulously. You tried to get him to sit back down and calm his nerves, “Sunghoon, sit down, please. It’s not what you’re thinking, at all.”

Ironically, it was what he was thinking, but the one time that you two were caught was the one time that it hadn’t been anything weird. He was wrong, but in the same breath, he was also right.

“No, damnit, Y/N,” he said, “I’m not going to sit!”

“Sunghoon,” you replied, now standing, “it’s not at all what you think it is.”

“Really?” He asked, aggravated, “Then fucking tell me what it was.”

You stepped closer to him, now also getting frustrated, “I’ll tell you exactly what it was if you would just listen.”

“Oh, I’m listening, alright.” He said, staring at you with a fiery gaze.

“Okay. Then just hear me out,” you replied, trying to calm yourself, “I went to Jake’s apartment to ask what had happened between you and him the other night. When I was getting sick, and-”

“You have got to be fucking kidding me, Y/N,” he groaned, looking at you with a snarl, “you could have just come and asked me what the fuck happened! You didn’t need to go to him!”

“I fucking tried that!” You yelled at him, “You wouldn’t tell me anything! Have you forgotten somehow?!”

“It doesn’t matter, Y/N,” he breathed out, still angry, “you shouldn’t have gone to him in the first place.”

“I wouldn’t have,” you started, “I wouldn’t have, if you would’ve just, I don’t know, been honest with me?!”

“Y/N,” he started, “I don’t think you understand what’s really happening here.”

“Stop. Stop right now. You think I’m stupid,” you commented, flailing your arms around, “you think that I don’t understand whatever the fuck is happening. I don’t want to play this game anymore, Sunghoon. The game where you know everything and I’m not allowed to know anything. And if I find out on my own, I ‘don’t even really understand’. At least, according to you.”

“That’s not what I’m saying-”

“No. Stop. Leave my apartment,” you looked him in the eyes, “I don’t want to do this,” you motioned between you two, what you were referencing pretty obvious to him, “anymore, if you’re going to play this stupid fucking game. I’m done.”

“Y/N, come on. Don’t be like this.”

“Leave. I don’t want to talk to you right now. We can talk once you’re ready to try and listen to me for once,” you ordered, pointing to the door, “leave, Sunghoon.”

You didn’t watch him exit your apartment. Once he was gone, though, you made sure to lock the door. You leaned against the door, pulling your phone out of your back pocket, and opening the messaging app.

This time you didn’t care if it was a bad idea.

you : me and sunghoon broke things off

Within seconds, Jake started typing a response, so you turned off your phone and ran a hand across your face. If Sunghoon was really worried about Jake, now, if anything, you had to spite him and rub it in his face. Jake was still attractive. Jake would take you back. You guess it was just bound to happen.

Three minutes later and no response despite the typing bubble still being there. You began to give up hope, until he follows you up with an answer:

do not answer : come over

You arrived at Jake’s apartment with record time. You didn’t care if Jay was there, or if he would show up at some point, because now that you and Sunghoon were on a break (or whatever it was) you had free reign to do as you pleased. Even see Jake.

When Jake opened the door, his eyes immediately lit up at your figure. You looked a bit like a mess, but he didn’t seem to care.

You couldn’t lie, the stress made you look disheveled, and you were wearing probably the trashiest outfit you owned. Jake didn’t seem to mind as he pulled you into his house.

He led you down the hallway, “Jay’s not here. I figured you wouldn’t care, though, because who is he going to tell now?”

You laughed at his words and followed him into his bedroom. His laptop was seated on his bed, open, because he’d been doing some work, assumably. He moved it further to the wall, then walking and shutting the bedroom door before sitting down. He beckoned for you to do the same.

You tucked a piece of hair behind your ear before sitting down next to him. You made yourself comfortable on his bed before speaking:

“Sorry about the sudden text.”

He furrowed his eyebrows at you, “Why would you be sorry? It’s not your fault that Sunghoon is an ass.”

You smiled at him, “You don’t even know what happened and you’re already taking my side.”

He leaned closer to you, “Ah, Sunghoon is always an ass. That has nothing to do with you or your situation.”

He gave you a look, then continued, “What even happened anyways?”

“Oh, yeah, right,” you said, adjusting your seated position to face him better, “uh, it’s so dumb. Sunghoon got mad that I came over the other day and accused me of cheating or some shit. He wouldn’t even listen.”

“See,” Jake exclaimed, “he is an ass!”

You giggled at his words, grateful that he was there to make you feel better. It took a lot for you to ignore how the situation was really making you feel, but having something to distract you mattered more right now.

“It’s so funny,” you replied, “the fact that the reason I was even here was because of him. I even told him that! He doesn’t ever want to listen to me.”

You groaned, dramatically throwing yourself backwards onto Jake’s mattress.

He copied as you did and commented, “He’s an ass. Like I said.”

“It’s whatever. It doesn’t even matter now, I don’t want to talk to him,” you covered your face in your hands, “just thinking about him is pissing me off.”

“I get it,” he said, now suddenly sitting up, “I know how you feel.”

You sat up too, “What really bothers me is that he and I aren’t even exclusive. So even if you and I did fuck, there shouldn’t be an issue.”

You rolled your eyes at the situation.

“I mean…” Jake trailed off, treading lightly with his next choice of words, “now that you’re not exclusive… or there are no ties… there isn’t an apparent issue.”

You looked at him with widened eyes and a slight smile, “You sneaky son-of-a-bitch. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were trying to have sex with me!”

Jake leaned over and moved his computer onto the ground. When he came up, his face was mere inches from yours.

He took a hand and brushed your hair away from your face. His touch sent chills through your body.

He licked his lips, “And if I didn’t know any better, I’d think that you agreed to come over here for a real reason.”

You smirked at him, leaning in to meet his lips in the middle. His hand flew to your waist and pulled you closer to him. His touch was needy, but in your moment of desperation, you’re sure yours was too. Jake deepened the kiss and pulled you onto his lap.

Maybe this was what was meant to happen. If Sunghoon really wanted to paint you as a villain for coming to Jake’s, maybe you should become the villain.

What’s wrong with a little fun, anyways?

viii. A SCAR LEFT IN ME

That night, you ended up staying at Jake’s place, no surprise. He always left you shocked with how much you missed having him in bed and as a friend. Sure, he wasn’t Sunghoon, but he’d have to do.

Two weeks and a some more hookups later, you’re sitting in Jake’s apartment kitchen. He was cooking something, and you were sat on the counter, watching him. In the time that you’d made yourself comfortable at Jake’s, you’d had more than a few run-ins with Jay. There was no doubt that he knew that you and Sunghoon had broken things off, but still seeing your presence obviously made him slightly upset. He refused to acknowledge you.

As if on cue, Jay walked into the apartment, not greeting either of you. He made a beeline for his room and slammed his door shut.

“What’s crawled up his ass?” You commented, kicking your feet.

“I don’t know, he’s always in a bad mood when you’re here.”

“Understandable,” you said, thinking about Ella suddenly, “it probably makes him mad that he knows you’re cheating on Ella with me.”

For the past weeks, Ella really hadn’t made an appearance in your mind. A part of you felt bad, but you didn’t really care. If she was all that special, Jake wouldn’t have cheated on her.

“No, that’s not it,” he replied, looking up from the stove, “we broke up. He didn’t even like her all that much anyways.”

This was news to you. Sure, now that you’d thought of it, you hadn’t heard any news of Ella recently anyways. But you’d just assumed it was because Jake didn’t want to talk about his girlfriend to the girl he was cheating on her with.

“You guys broke up?” You hopped down from the counter, facing him with your whole body, “since when?”

“Like, a week and a half ago,” he explained, returning his eyes to the food he was making.

You thought of all the possibilities that could follow you asking the next question, but decided to go ahead and ask it anyways:

“Why?”

“Y/N,” he started, “you know it’s because of you. Even beyond having sex, it’s only ever been you. Ever since we met at that party.”

You took a step away from him, slowly. There was no way this was happening, again. You felt stupid for letting this happen, but you didn’t want to lose Jake as a friend. If you couldn’t look past his feelings last time, you definitely couldn’t look past them this time.

“Jake,” you said, “you know that this isn’t going to work like that.”

Jake turned the stove off and faced you, “What do you mean?”

“Come on, Jake. I couldn’t be with Sunghoon because of you, and I can’t be with you because of him.”

“What are you saying?”

“I couldn’t be with him because of you. He didn’t like us together.”

“Yeah, but he’s out of the picture now,” he commented, stepping towards you.

“No, Jake, I-” you stopped yourself. Jake was right. Sunghoon was technically out of the picture now. So what was holding you back? No matter what you tried to think of, your mind always came back to Sunghoon. All of this nonsense made you think that maybe, some time, you had accidentally treaded too closely to the “more than friends” line with Sunghoon. This terrified you.

“It doesn’t matter,” you continued, “you were happy with Ella! Why would you mess that up for someone who you know it won’t end well with?! You’ve tried this before, and you didn’t succeed. Why would you now think that it would be anything different?”

He walked closer to you, almost cornering you to a wall. You swallowed deeply and braced yourself for whatever he would say next.

His words came out breathy, “I want you to ruin me, Y/N. Ruin my ideas about love, about what love is. Ruin me, so that even when I do get hurt like I inevitably will, and I go running back to Ella, all I can think about is you.”

You gulped, and he leaned in closer to you.

“You drive me into an absolutely uncontrollable desire. And, trust me, I have tried so hard to see her the way that I see you, feel the same desire. But, it’s only ever been you.”

He finally steps back from you, keeping his face straight, but you could see traces of desperation behind his gaze.

You cleared your throat, walking away from him and towards the living room where your keys and bag were.

As you walked down his hallway, he trailed behind you.

“Y/N…” he said softly as you grabbed the doorknob to leave.

“I need some time to think about this, Jake.”

Later that night, you found yourself still obsessing over Jake’s words. It was absolutely astonishing to you; how the man could be pushed away from you so many times but come crawling back for more. Even when he had a girlfriend. His feelings for you were probably genuine, and some parts of you wished that you could feel that back for the boy. He deserved someone to love him. You didn’t think that someone would be you.

You let your mind wander back to Sunghoon. At this point, you’d almost accepted defeat. You’d broken the one rule of being friends-with-benefits: catching feelings. And to make matters worse, you’d broken things off with the first man you’d had genuine feelings for in years. You were really good at messing things up for yourself.

Suddenly, your thoughts are interrupted by a call. The caller ID read “sunghoon ☺️💨”. Your heart jumped.

You don’t know what possessed you to answer so quickly, but you soon found yourself answering the phone and putting it to your ear.

“Hello?” You answered, attempting to sound as unimpressed as possible.

“Hey, Y/N,” he said, obviously at least a little stressed, “I thought about what you said, y’know, two or so weeks ago, and I’d like to talk to you. Can I come over?”

“Only if you’re coming over to apologize,” you snarled, “otherwise fuck off.”

You hated how upset you quickly became, but from the reminders of Sunghoon’s actions two weeks ago, and the mix of emotions you felt towards Jake since this morning, you allowed yourself to be consumed in frustration.

It only takes ten minutes for Sunghoon to reach your apartment. Once let in, he immediately embraces you, catching you off guard.

“Woah,” you said, your voice muffled by his figure.

“I’m sorry.”

His apology felt like the gates of a dam being opened, because it was as if in that second, you’d come to clarity. About everything.

“I-” you tried, but nothing came out of your mouth, “it’s okay.”

“I was mad, and I was stupid, and I- I should’ve listened to you,” he said, not letting go of your figure. You hugged him back, running a hand down his back, “It’s okay, Hoon, it’s okay.”

You pulled away from him, getting his attention, “Let’s go to my room, yeah? We can talk there.”

As you sat down on your bed with him, you let your guard down. He was really fucking upset, anyone could see that. Sunghoon grabbed your hand as he continued, “Y/N, I’m so sorry. I ruined something good, I know. I’m just asking for you to forgive me.”

You rubbed your thumb over his finger as you tried to lighten the atmosphere, “Why the sudden change of heart?”

Sunghoon chuckled a bit through the tears forming in the corners of his eyes. He knew you’d already forgiven him, your body language was obvious. He laid his head on your lap, facing downwards.

“I fucked up,” he said, his voice muffled.

“What did you fuck up, Hoon?”

“I broke the one rule.”

“Turn over, I can’t hear you,” you said as you ran your fingers through his hair.

He rolled, his eyes now looking at yours. You brushed some hair away from his face gently. You could still see the tears brimming in his eyes.

“I broke the one rule.”

“What rule?”

“Of being fuck-buddies, Y/N.”

Your heart dropped at the words.

“I-” he choked, taking one of his hands to grab your own, “I have feelings for you, Y/N. Like real, genuine ones. I can’t risk losing you again.”

In a moment, everything from the past months had all came crashing down onto you.

“Okay,” you said, “I feel the same way. But I think I need time.”

You loved Sunghoon.

ix. I’M NOT A MONSTER

You and Sunghoon stayed together for the rest of the night, enjoying the other’s presence as you basked in all that you could from the lack of the previous weeks.

When you woke up the next morning, you smelled breakfast being made. God, this man really was willing to do anything to get you back. Your heart swelled.

You walked to the kitchen, letting yourself smile at the occurrence. You really had missed Sunghoon a lot.

As you approached him, you tried to be a quick as possible, not wanting to waste any more time of being away from him. Damn him, you really did like him. How could you have been so blind to your feelings before?

Once you reached him, you whispered, “Hi.”

He turned to the right to look at you, letting a smile form on his face, “Good morning, beautiful.”

You flushed at his words, “It’s 9am and you’re already being a flirt.”

“Can’t help it,” he replied, turning back to the food, “do you want some eggs? They’re almost done.”

“I’m okay, thank you though,” you said, tilting your head at the man, “I think I’ll just have a bagel or something.”

He nodded and you turned to your small pantry to find the bagels. Sunghoon turned off the stove and plated the eggs, taking a bite.

Suddenly, the doorbell buzzed.

“I’ll get it,” Sunghoon said, placing down his plate onto the counter. You didn’t mind that he was answering the door, he’d done it before. You wanted to find where the bagels were anyways.

You heard the door open, followed by Sunghoon’s voice ringing out a name that pierced through the air:

“Jake.”

Your heart dropped. What the fuck was he doing here? You told him that you needed time. Does he ever listen? You slowly made your way to the door.

“Oh, hey…” Jake cleared his throat, “Sunghoon. What, uh, what are you doing here?”

Before anything could unfold, you made yourself seen by the two men.

“Y/N!” Jake exclaimed.

“Oh, hi, Jake,” you walked your way next to Sunghoon, “what’s up?”

“I just…” he trailed off, glancing between you and Sunghoon, “wanted to ask you something real quick.”

“Oh,” you said, “you can come in.”

You led Jake to the living room and Sunghoon closed the door, speedily following behind you two. You could tell that he wasn’t thrilled that Jake was here.

An awkward silence consumed the room. It seemed that whatever Jake had on his mind, he wanted to say it one-on-one. In order to get it over with as quickly as possible, you turned to Sunghoon and suggested, “Sunghoon, would you mind finding the bagels for me really quickly? Just for a minute so we can talk.”

He scowled at Jake before turning away to walk to the kitchen. You watched him make his way to the pantry, not missing how he turned back to look at you and Jake once more. You sent him an apologetic look.

Once out of earshot, you lowly said, “Jake, what are you doing here?”

“Uh, sorry,” he explained, “I wouldn’t have come if I knew he was gonna be here.”

You rolled your eyes, “Jake. What do you want?”

“There’s a new restaurant that just opened downtown,” he started, tilting his head at you, “I wanted to see if you would go with me.”

You sighed, “The offer is really sweet, but I told you that I needed time, Jake.”

“I can’t do that,” he huffed, laughing in pain, “you know that. I can’t stay away from you. You drive me crazy.”

“Jake…” you trailed off, looking back at the kitchen. Sunghoon was holding a bag of bagels, staring daggers into Jake.

“You should leave,” you commented, turning back to him, “you can just come over to talk later. When Sunghoon’s not here.”

“Okay,” he said, peeking at Sunghoon, “okay. I’ll let you know when I’m headed over.”

“Okay,” you nodded at him, leading him to the door, “bye, Jake.”

You shut the door and returned back to the kitchen. Sunghoon was putting your bagel into the toaster, so you went to the fridge to grab out some cream cheese.

Sunghoon was the first to break the silence.

“I don’t like when you two are together.”

You faced him, cream cheese in hand. You set the item down on the counter and stalked your way over to him, touching his arm.

“I don’t feel anything for him, Hoon.”

He furrowed his eyebrows at you, hinting at disbelief.

“Not anymore.”

He nods, turning to face you. He clears his throat, “I understand that, Y/N, but he obviously feels differently for you.”

“I realize that,” you commented, looking away.

“I really want to be with you, Y/N. And, I know that you need time, and I’ll give you all the time that I can for you.”

You nodded, looking back at him.

“But,” he started, getting more serious, “I don’t want him to be a part of your life anymore. He doesn’t know how to control himself.”

“I know,” you admitted, pursing your lips, “but I don’t know how to let him down easy.”

Sunghoon was right. Of course he was. But you were being genuine; if Jake wasn’t going to let up weeks ago, he wouldn’t let up now. Especially because he thought he was so close to having you.

The toaster popped, and you walked over, letting your hand drop from Sunghoon’s arm.

“I’ll do what I can.”

x. IS IT FATE THAT EVEN OUR DEPARTS REPEAT?

You were agonizing over Jake coming over. It was the worst idea ever, but this time you would put an end to everything. The thought of that only soothed your nerves slightly.

When Jake arrived at your apartment, you let out a breath that you didn’t realize you’d been holding in.

“Hey,” you breathed out, opening the door for him.

“Hi,” he said, walking into your home, “everything okay?”

You two walked your way to the living room where there were some drinks laid out for you two. You’d laid out wine again, but this time as a nerve soother rather than something to cause an escalation of actions.

“Yeah, I think.” You said, sitting down on a chair. Jake sat on the couch, the seat closest to you.”

“You think?” Jake questioned, smirking at you.

“Yeah, I don’t know,” you admitted honestly. You took a breath in, “I’m just stressed out, I guess.”

You grabbed your glass of wine from the table and took a drink, watching Jake do the same.

“So,” he started, placing his wine glass down, “what’s up with Sunghoon being here this morning?”

“Oh,” you said, shocked at his bluntness of the topic. He’d just got there and was already getting down to business. You ran a hand through your hair, “I don’t know, we kind of made up. It’s a touchy topic right now.”

“I see,” he commented, taking another drink of his glass of wine, “I’m not sure if I should be happy for you or upset for myself.”

You cleared your throat, “Jake, it really has nothing to do with you.” You took another drink of wine before looking back at him.

“Really, because as I recall, you guys broke it off because of me,” he raised his eyebrows at you.

“Yeah, we did,” you looked at him with confusion, “but us getting back together has nothing to do with you.”

“So what you’re saying is,” he got up and walked towards you, “Sunghoon is afraid of what I can do.”

You also stood up, challenging him, “I wouldn’t say afraid,” you cocked an eyebrow at him, “more so he’s not dumb.”

“Oh, but he’s so dumb,” Jake titled his head at you, a flirty pout appearing on his lips, “because if he wasn’t, he wouldn’t have left your apartment today. Now, I get you all to myself.”

God damn this man.

In a rush of lust, he pushed his lips on yours, grabbing your waist. You melted into the kiss, wrapping your arms around his broad shoulders. It was absolutely intoxicating.

Jake broke the kiss and held your face close to his, “He can’t make you feel special like I do, baby.”

He returned to your lips, tilting his head to deepen the kiss. He tucked a piece of hair behind your ear, slightly tugging it unintentionally.

Just like Sunghoon does.

You separated yourself from Jake almost instantly, removing your arms and backing away. His hands were still on your waist, but you grabbed his wrists, “Jake.”

“What’s wrong, baby?”

“Jake, don’t call me that,” you sighed, “we can’t do this anymore. Seriously.”

He loosened his grip on your waist, and you let go of his wrists. He scoffed, “What? Is it because you’re back with Sunghoon now? You guys aren’t even dating. I thought your bond was no-strings-attached.”

“It was,” you said, “it was. But- but now, I have feelings for Sunghoon. Like real, genuine feelings.”

Jake flared his nostrils. It was subtle, but you still noticed.

“I want to be with him.”

Jake turned his head to the side. A blanket of silence was thrown over the room. The tension was extremely thick, it could be cut with a knife.

A minute later, you heard a voice whisper out, “Am I not good enough for you?”

“What?”

“Y/N, you know I’d do anything for you,” he turned back to you, now louder and more frustrated, tears brimming in his eyes. His face was flushed, “but you never give me a fucking chance to prove it.”

“Jake,” you tried deescalating the situation, “I’ve never felt anything for past lust. You know this. This is the same story as when you tried this months ago, and when you tried this yesterday.”

He said nothing.

You continued, “I can’t keep giving you false hope. You deserve someone who can actually love you. That someone is not me.”

He gulped, once again staying silent. The tears in his eyes became more prevalent. The silence lingered for many minutes too long, the atmosphere becoming more and more suffocating at the second.

“I would do anything for you,” he croaked out, “I don’t think that will ever change.”

His anger had dissipated for now, and he was fighting back a frown.

“I can’t-” his voice cracked, “I can’t stand knowing that you’re not mine, or worse, the fact that you’re with Sunghoon. Every single fucking time I see you with him, I feel like I’m being punched in the gut.”

“I’m sorry,” you swallowed, still processing his words. You knew Jake felt strongly about you, but you had no idea it was this strong. You let yourself be quiet for a second before finding any words to reply with, “I really don’t know what to say.”

He laughed a painful laugh, “…but being punched in the gut never killed anybody.”

He wiped at his eyes, furrowing his eyebrows once more, “I wish that I could spit in your face and tell you that I wish we never met.”

You felt yourself hurt at his words.

“But I know that would be a lie.”

Another silence fell.

“It’ll always be you, Y/N.”

You shook your head slightly, feeling tears brim at your own eyes. You were devastated that you were going through this a second time, but somehow this time, it hurt way more than the first.

“Jake…” you sent a sad look to him.

“My door is always open. For you.”

You felt yourself gulp at his words, finding any strength possible to push away any feelings you had at the moment.

“You should probably leave…”

“Okay,” he accepted, whispering. He walked to your apartment door and you followed him.

“Stay safe, Jake.”

He left. You shut the door, locked it, and immediately leaned your back to it and slid down. Deep down, you knew you’d always have a spot in you that cared for Jake. You had grown fond of him in a platonic way.

But that was the problem. He couldn’t just shut out his feelings for you.

Drowning out your guilt was impossible as felt a large weight make its way onto your chest.

xi. IN THE END, THE ANSWER IS ALWAYS ONLY YOU

It’s been four months since that day.

You’d seen Jake around, a couple times at campus and very rarely at group hang outs.

He always sent you an awkward smile, and you knew deep down that seeing you had killed him many times. Anyone could tell that he never looked at his new girlfriend the same way he looked at you.

The atmosphere around each other was always tense, but because you’d promised Sunghoon, Jake wasn’t really a part of your life anymore.

Sunghoon and Jake’s bond had definitely changed. They didn’t seem like friends anymore, if anything it was a more formal relationship. They acknowledged each other’s presence, but even with the new girlfriend, Sunghoon hadn’t let down his guard with Jake.

In a sense, you missed Ella. She deserved a lot better, and you always agonized over how her absence was your fault. Obviously, Jake had a play in it, but you left all the blame for yourself.

In the past months, you’d felt yourself have a shift in behavior. It was odd, having realized that you’d become more open and caring about the relationships in your life. Ningning had told you that “not having the nonchalant front anymore” looked good on you.

You’d let yourself get a lot closer to her. She was now your best friend, always helping you through your mental struggles and rooting for you. She made sure to be there for you all the time, and she was ecstatic about you and Sunghoon making up.

Sunghoon had asked you to be his girlfriend about three months ago, and you had never been happier to had let your guard down to the man. He made you feel special, and you never once regretted your decision of choosing to keep him by your side rather than Jake.

Jake had stayed the same majorly. At least from what you could tell. His new girlfriend was nice enough to you, but you didn’t really think that he was happy with her. It seemed that he was just trying to fill the void that you’d left in him.

And the most ironic part:

His girlfriend looked strikingly similar to you. She was beautiful, of course, but her personality and appearance had almost mirrored yours completely. Her personality was more similar to the one that you’d had before, the nonchalant, doesn’t-care-about-anyone, slight asshole. Contrary to you, however, she never left his side.

Even with her around, you knew the truth.

Jake’s words still forever rung in your mind:

“It’ll always be you.”

a/n : rrrrrrraaaaahhh it’s done

283 notes · View notes

taevolu · 2 months

Text

Parasocial [Part One: What can go Wrong?] 18+

Brief Summary: she was a streamer that liked to play games for fun and to meet new people. Her fanbase was growing more and more and she loved to interact with her fans as much as possible. However, someone wanted something more than just online interactions. He wanted her, needed her and would do anything just to be with her.

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader

Genre: Smut

Word Count: 2,961

Warnings: yandere tae, taexdom, obsessive/possessive tae, stalker, computer hacking, masturbation, porn, home invasion

Parts: Part One, Part Two

***I do not portray any of the members to act like this in real life as they do in this story, this is all fictional!***

―

“Good evening everyone! I am so stoked to play Sun Haven for you guys!” You say to your viewers on Twitch. You always loved to play games after work and decided to make it your side hustle to get extra money. It was always your dream to become a full-time streamer and based on your growing viewers, it might even happen. Your viewers are all very supportive by showing up and tipping you as much as they can, it was like you had your very own fanbase! There was one viewer in particular that joined everyday, his name was Taehyung. He was always hyping you up, tipping you huge amounts of money, and staying until the end of your stream. You really appreciated him as one of your viewers.

You continued to stream and interact with your viewers, having to scroll through chat to read and reply to every single one. But you stopped at a comment that caught your eye as it was from Taehyung, “You make me so happy, thank you for taking some time off of your day to stream for us!” It warmed your heart when you saw his comment, thanking him in return.

You were about to end the stream but wanted to chat with your viewers before going. A lot of them wanted you to create a discord server, saying that it would be a fun way to keep chatting with you or with others after the stream. You thought that it was a great idea as you wanted to talk and get to know your viewers a bit more too.

After creating your account and announcing the server, you got tons of friend requests from your viewers and without any thinking, you added them all as a friend.

*ding*

You got a notification from your discord’s private messages.

[Messages]

Taehyung [21:03]: hi y/n! im so glad that you finally set up a discord account!

You [21:10]: hi taehyung! Yeahhh it did take a while to finally decide to

Taehyung [21:10]: well im glad i can talk to you everyday now and not through your lives 🙂

You [21:19]: thank you for supporting me!

Taehyung [21:19]: goodnight ❤

You [21:26]: Goodnight 🙂

You got ready for bed, glad that you had another successful stream.

Taehyung chuckles at himself as he hearts your message, happy that he had a platform to finally talk to you privately and not with other people. He loved you so much and wanted you with him forever. He wanted you for only him and no one else, just the thought of you being with someone else angered Taehyung. He planned to hack your computer to receive your IP address to find out where you lived but he wasn’t able to do so until you went back on stream.

“You’ll be mine soon.”

Before work, you went to your usual cafe place to wake yourself up after a long night of gaming. You see your best friend, Mael, behind the counter.

“What’s up y/n! How are you?” He greets you as you walk over to the counter.

You and Mael have been friends since junior high and used to hang out often, unfortunately, since you both graduated, life has been busy. But the both of you always caught up every morning while he got your usual ready.

“I’m doing well!” You reply.

He chuckles, “You seem a bit more cheerful than usual.” He said as he was about to finish up your drink.

“Just had another successful stream last night. A lot of my viewers asked me to open up a discord server and I’ve just been raided with a whole lot of compliments.” You explain.

Mael hands you your order, a warmed croissant with a chai, “Isn’t it a bit risky to do that though? Like creeps messaging you everyday?”

You shrug, “Maybe, but I will be careful, promise!” You say as you grab your things from him, waving him goodbye as you exit the cafe to go to work.

…

*ding*

‘I'm excited to watch your stream tonight 🙂.’ You look at your phone and see that Taehyung has messaged you. You smiled and reacted to his message, no time to message him back as it was almost time to start your stream.

“Good evening everyone! Today’s game will be…” You continued your stream like normal

As you continue to play your game, Taehyung quickly gets to work. It did take him a while and was glad that you decided to play longer today as you didn’t work the next day. He was able to get ahold of your IP address and found your information. He chuckles to himself, he was close to having you.

Taehyung started to look around your area, trying to find a home to be close to you. He wanted to hang out with you like you were friends, he wanted you to like him, and wanted you to finally notice him.

Taehyung shouts with glee as he found a home that was just minutes away from your area. He began to pack up his things, not caring about anything else that he was going to leave behind.

He was on a mission and you were his goal.

It took Taehyung a week to own his home and to get everything ready for him to confront you in person. He was able to locate and observe you to figure out your daily routine, knowing which stores you always visited and where you worked. You weren’t much of an outside person which made this easier for Taehyung.

‘Everything was going as planned.’ Taehyung thought.

You started your morning routine before work, going over to the cafe for your usual. You greet Mael as you enter the store, him already getting your order ready. You sit down on one of the booths, opening up your phone to reply to your fans that commented on your post last night.

You suddenly hear footsteps walking towards you, assuming that it is Mael with your tea. You turn around to grab your things to leave but you were wrong.

“Hey y/n! Fancy seeing you here!” Taehyung says, excitement showing throughout his face, you looked at the man in confusion, not knowing who he was and why he knew your name. The man then realized and introduced himself, “I forgot to introduce myself, I’m Taehyung, I watch you on twitch!”

You froze, you weren’t expecting to ever see any of your viewers in person, especially Taehyung. You had to admit, he was a good looking man. His body was slim, his hair looked messy but styled at the same time, and his face looked godly.

You didn’t realize that you were standing in place while still staring at Taehyung until Mael cleared his throat to get your attention.

“Here’s your order y/n.” He says, then passes Taehyung to walk over to you to hand over your things.

“Thank you, Mael.” You murmured, Mael nodded and began to walk away. Taehyung had his eyes locked onto Mael as he walked away, eyebrows furrowed, but changed his expression once he turned back to you.

“Sorry if I disturbed you, I didn’t mean to.” Taehyung says while fiddling with his jacket.

You shake your head, “It’s okay, I just didn’t expect to ever see any of my viewers in public, that’s all.” You nervously laugh, “But I gotta go to work soon.” You wave Taehyung goodbye as you reach the door but he stops you by grabbing your hand.

“I was wondering if you wanted to hangout sometime?” Taehyung asks.

You turn around to face Taehyung, “Yeah sure! Just message me and I’ll be there.” You reply. You see Mael looking over to you, mouthing ‘don’t do it.’ but you just shrug him off. Taehyung was one of your #1 supporters on twitch and have stuck with you since you started streaming.

What can go wrong?

Taehyung watched your stream that night, chuckling to himself as he finally had you in his hands. The more he looked at you, the more aroused he felt. He ran his hands all over his body, feeling himself and wishing that it was you touching him. He reaches down to his pants to reveal his cock, pumping his cock as he moans your name. He begins to pump faster, groaning as he wished it was your pussy instead.

“Fuck, y/n, I want to feel your warmth so fucking bad.” He moans, gripping his dick harder as he was about to cum. He groans as he shoots his cum all over your face that was displayed on his monitor.

He stands up from his chair, wiping his cum off of his monitor, “Next time, my cum will be on your pretty and soft face, my darling.” But that gave him an idea. Your stream was about to end and as you say your goodbyes, he begins to dress up to head somewhere.

Your home.

He didn’t live too far from you, just 2 minutes away, glad that he was able to find an apartment unit so close to yours. He walked up the stairs to your apartment’s front door and saw all of the lights in your unit were off, noting that you were already asleep. The doors in this apartment complex were easy to get into as they can be unlocked by fingerprint or keycode. Good thing for Taehyung, he got your fingerprint when he grabbed your hand as you were leaving the cafe earlier this morning. He uses the tape that got ahold of the print and unlocked your door in an instant.

Taehyung slowly opens the door, no creaks to be heard, and tiptoes his way into your unit. His layout was the same as yours, making it easy for him to find your room. He sneaks into your room, slowly opening your door to see you without any clothing, masturbating while watching porn. You moan in pleasure as you rub your clit, your wet pussy and the video filling up your room. Taehyung can feel his erected cock suffering in his pants, waiting to be used. He pulls out his cock, pumping it while he watches you rub your clit. Your moans start to build up as you are getting closer to your orgasm, your speed increasing. Taehyung sees that you are getting closer, pumping faster to cum with you. You moan in pleasure as you reach your orgasm, twitching from the sensual sensation. Taehyung notices as he sees your body twitching, feeling the same sensation as he cums into his hands.He pulls his pants back up and begins to watch you get ready to fall asleep, waiting until you fall into a deep sleep.

He stood there, hearing you softly snore, queuing him that it was time. He opens up your door even more, slowly walking in towards your bed. He was glad that you decided to not clothe yourself as it made it easier to touch you. He lightly touches your legs to move them apart. He feels you move under his touch, stopping his action to not wake you. He hears you softly snore again and begins to lean in close to your pussy. He inhales to smell the scent of your pussy, the smell of your cum still lingering. His mouth started to water as he was impatient to taste you. He inches his mouth closer to your opening, his tongue softly touching your pussy while he licks up your juices. He then sticks his tongue into your pussy, motioning his tongue to your clit and down to your entrance, feeling your pussy becoming wet under his touch. He smiles as he hears you moan in your sleep. He continues to lick your clit while he carefully pushes a finger in your entrance, you start to squirm but he didn’t care, he was waiting for this moment. He slowly pumps inside you while he quickened his pace with his tongue, your juices and his saliva piling up on his chin. He feels you tighten around his fingers and quickly pulls away as he doesn't want to wake you from your sleep. He slowly crawls back out of the bed to not wake you up, and stands up to observe your body. He smirks admiring your perfect breasts, staring at your erect nipples. He begins to lean down, kissing both and creeps out of your room slowly while carefully shutting the door behind him. He smiles to himself, satisfied that he finally got a taste of you.

…

You woke up as a cold breeze came into contact with your exposed pussy, realizing that you forgot to clothe yourself back up before getting into bed. You sat up in bed, going over the dream you had last night. You had a dream of someone eating you out but you couldn’t see who it was. You haven’t had someone eat you out in a while, blaming that reason for your dream. You groaned as it made you horny again but you had to get ready for work. You stand up from your bed and get ready.

You finally got to the cafe, walking over to the entrance. When you walk in, you see the same people that go in there daily like you. However, you see someone who you don’t see often and it was Taehyung. You feel different after seeing him sitting with his coffee, the feeling of your pussy gushing underneath your panties. You were wearing a skirt today and the breeze between your legs led a shiver down your spine. You shake your head to compose yourself, scolding yourself for being horny so early in the morning.

You walk up to the counter and thank Mael but he stops you, “Please be careful y/n, I’ve been really worried about you lately.” You roll your eyes at him. Mael has always been protective but you don’t blame him, you were a juvenile teenager and always chose poor choices but you were an adult now and knew better, you didn’t want him to worry about you forever.

“Mael, I am quite sure that I can take care of myself. I do appreciate that you care about me a lot. I will be more cautious with what I do, I am not like the teenager that I was back then.” You hear him sigh.

“I know, I am just worried.” He starts, he then leans in closer to whisper, “Ever since that one day, he has been showing up lately.” He whispers as he looks over to Taehyung. You raised your eyebrows in disbelief.

“Mael, don’t worry about him. He is a kind person. And plus you don’t know him that well to be assuming stuff about him.” You say in a hush tone.

He shakes his head with a sigh, “And you know him?”

“I don’t, but he is harmless, trust me please.” Of course you didn’t know him personally but you didn’t see that in Taehyung, he never showed the intentions to be a ‘creep’ when it came to your lives.

Mael sighs again in defeat, “Okay, fine, but if you come to me for help just know that I told you so.” You smile and nod in response.

You walk over to the door to leave for work, feeling sharp eyes on your back. You turn around to see who it was and it ends up being Taehyung. You gave him a smile and a small wave, he does it back and stands up to walk over to you. While he does, you see Mael’s eyes shift over to you both but you ignore him.

“Hey, y/n! I was wondering if you wanted to hang out tomorrow at the club?” Taehyung asks.

“Yeah, sure! I do want to get my mind off of some things right now so I would love that!” You reply. You see Taehyung’s face lighten up in excitement.

“Great! I’ll meet you at Forum tomorrow, 22:00 okay with you?”

You chuckle. You appreciated that he respected your stream time but you were planning on canceling your stream plans that night, “I’m not streaming tonight so we can go at 21:00!” He nods in response. You say goodbye to Taehyung as you were getting late for work.

Once you got into your car, you get a text from Mael. You sigh after looking at his text message.

[Messages]

Mael [7:47]: Be careful please.

You [7:48]: If you are so worried, why dont you just come with? We are going to the Forum at 21:00 tonight.

Mael [7:48]: Okay, I’ll see you there

You threw your phone into your bag, tired of talking to Mael and started driving over to work.

While you left the cafe, Taehyung sat in his spot, his heart racing as he started to think about the things he wanted to do with you as he had you in his hands. His thoughts suddenly stopped as Mael approached him.

“What intentions do you have with y/n?” Mael asks. Taehyung shifts his gaze over to the man. Taehyung didn’t like Mael as he always talked to you, especially earlier as he heard your conversation with him.

“Nothing. I’m just one of her biggest fans.” Taehyung says nonchalantly.

Mael huffs in annoyance, “Well whatever it is, don’t do anything stupid.” Taehyung nods slowly and begins to make his way out of the cafe.

Mael was going to be a problem between you and Taehyung. And Taehyung had to do something about him. But now wasn’t the right time. He needed to have you first.

―

PLEASE do not copy, translate or post my writing on any other platform without my consent. ― taevolu🤍

Inspired by trivia-yandere and the parasocial game by chillas art

68 notes · View notes

atopvisenyashill · 7 days

Note

seeing how some greens act like rhaenyra being groomed by her uncle, and subsequently being unable to let go of him, is HER personal failure turned me into a rhaenyra extremist when i simply enjoyed her character beforehand.

im really glad you're speaking about it because even though it's fiction, it still perpetuates a very dangerous rhetoric

wait this gives me an excuse to ramble, pls excuse me if i phrase things maybe a little crassly here, it’s a delicate topic i’m speaking indelicately about but also, i think i should be allowed bc [redacted] BUT-

obviously i don’t like, love, some of the changes to the show but i think the first half does a great job of setting it up to where you can see both alicent and rhaenyra are surrounded exclusively by much older men who want to fuck them, and have just no way of knowing who is being genuine with them. because no one is really! so you have episode 4, where alicent is sleeping in a room with pornographic art on the wall and being called to her husband’s bed and she can’t say no, and he’s not going to do anything to make the whole thing even marginally easier for her. and then you have rhaenyra, pulled from her bed by her uncle to a brothel, and she’s completely exposed, and she’s experiencing new things, and he’s purposefully trying to make this feel good but also overwhelming for her, then abandons her drunk & confused & half naked. this is The Same Thing - they’re both being used and manipulated by a much older man, but because that manipulation looks different, they react different. but it’s still manipulation.

yes, the type of abuse is different when it’s like, your ugly ancient grandpa grooming you vs a handsome 30 year old stranger you met online that you tell all your high school friends is your boyfriend, but ultimately, both the grandpa and the 30 year old boyfriend are abusers but more importantly, the granddaughter and the high schooler are both victims!!! i think a lot of people when analyzing this whole thing, will pin daemon as a groomer but then completely forget that this also makes rhaenyra a victim. some people will even hee hee haw haw over it because “oh your feminist icon would rather marry her groomer uncle than her gay cousin in the book” DO YOU HEAR YOURSELF. could it possibly be that rhaenyra prefers daemon to laenor because daemon has manipulated her into thinking she is only free with him? she is only safe with him?? could it possibly be that he has been giving her gifts and taking physical liberties with her for her whole life, and being the Good Cop, Sweet Confidant to her parents Bad Cop her whole life, that she feels taken in by him because he is all she knows???? in the same vein that alicent just swallows all the poison and bullshit from otto because that’s her father, and his protection is all she knows????

honestly part of like ~the discourse~ that’s most frustrating is that most greens just refuse to see rhaenyra’s pov or see that she’s also a grooming victim grasping for power to protect her own children, again just like alicent, but on the flip side, most of the analysis from the blacks side is like “if you think nyra is a victim of grooming you are just as bad as the people calling her a whore for having children out of wedlock” and like, how do you even engage with that. with either of those opinions. you can’t wksjd so if youre, ya know, like a normal fucking person who can see how both girls are being manipulated, but you have like a fondness for nyra specifically, it’s just constant bad takes. there’s nowhere to go to escape the bad takes.

i thought we had already hashed out this idea that being aware or unaware of your victimhood doesn’t suddenly mean you’re not being oppressed during the main show with arya and sansa but no, we’ve actually just taken this exact same annoying fandom discourse about which teenage girl is dealing with being abused in the most acceptable way and made it a thousand times worse.

#and like the ~analysis~ side will be like ‘nyra is a dumb bitch for trusting daemon’ but if you said that about ali and larys you’d get shot #and i’m not even exaggerating the way people talk about her it’s always this ‘she should have known better’ HOW #if u get that ali couldn’t have ever known better when it comes to her own kids. why does this not apply to nyra.#perhaps………….it is bc you cannot concieve of her as anything but the aggressor.#asks #anons

44 notes · View notes

lululandd · 10 months

Text

run devil run;

pairing: simon ‘ghost’ riley x gn!reader

word count: 662

warnings: angst? ish? ghost is a coward (again)

note: yall need to be nicer when asking for part 2’s, im glad yall like my stuff enough to want a continuation but damn dont just order me around lmao

summary: its just you two in a bookstore and he mistakes you for an employee.

Simon walked into the bookstore with the intention of getting The Hobbit™ to prank Soap on his birthday. He walked around the fiction aisle for ten minutes when he realised he had zoned out and wasted his time. His mind had decided it wanted to be somewhere else for the time being and so he looked for an employee instead.

He spotted you at the bargain bin, checking the back covers before placing them back in a neat row inside the bin. Walking closer, he heard you mutter to yourself how expensive these bargain books still are and assumed that you weren’t an employee.

The front desk looked empty when he came in, and after a quick peek he saw it was still unoccupied. Maybe his assumption was wrong and you were an employee after all.

“I’m looking for The Hobbit.” He addressed you as he came closer.

He watches as you dig deep in the pile, tilting your head sideways from time to time while prodding around as you try and search for the book he was looking for. A few moments later you triumphantly hold it up and hand it to him.

“Thanks. You man the register too?”

Blinking slowly at him, he vaguely registered in the back of his mind that the woman sitting by the bargain bin might not be an employee, and just a random civilian that just wants to buy some cheap books.

Fuck.

“I’m not an employee–” “Sorry I didn’t mean to–”

A smile involuntarily pulled at the corners of his mouth, “You looking for any specific books?” He asked as he pointed to the pile in front of you.

You hesitantly shake your head, “No, not really, no.”

He decided to be chatty today. He hasn’t heard any other noises in the bookstore, so it was still just you and him. There’s no point waiting alone when his mind runs around, it might go somewhere dark and he would like to avoid that. “Why are you arranging the bin then?”

Simon Riley thanked his past self for wearing a mask because the incredulous look you gave him definitely made him grin from ear to ear. It’s so cute how you’re not shy with your facial expressions. He would love to play poker with you.

“Uh… No reason..?” Your tone lilted at the end, as if you’re unsure of your answer but he senses it’s because you want him to fuck off, kindly.

“Pick a few, they’re on me.”

As he hoped, your expression brightened, “For real?”

He nodded. At the same time, he heard someone come in and walked towards the cash register.

You chose a book from the neat pile and handed it to him.

“I did say a few.” He insisted.

You shook your head, “No! One is more than enough, thank you so much.”

“I’m picking ‘em at random if you keep being stubborn.”

His inner boy giggled at how you panic and quickly scan the pile once more. Grabbing two more, you half shoved it into his hands. “Here. Thankyou again.”

“One more.”

“I will run out of this store if I really have to take one more.”

He couldn’t help but bark out a laugh as he walked towards the front. Placing the books down on the counter, he asked the cashier “You got a habit of just leaving the store unmanned?”

“Sorry, had an emergency. Thanks for waiting.”

“All right.” He assures the man, before pointing at your books. “These are separate.”

From his peripherals he can see you anxiously wait—shifting your weight from one foot to the other—and it threatens to pull sore memories of Tommy to the surface of his mind. If he stayed longer he knew he wouldn't be able to suppress the resurfacing thoughts of his brother so he took the book he was supposed to get for soap, threw cash on the table and walked out without looking back.

part ii.

#simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x reader #ghost x reader #call of duty imagines #call of duty #scuffed writing

235 notes · View notes

tinyidle · 8 months

Note

Hi I'm the one that asked if you'd write for blackpink, could I please request a cute and smutty Poly one shot with Chaennie where they surprise reader for their birthday

(Idk why I asked on anon the first time lol I was shy ig)

Happy Birthday, Baby - KJN x YN x PRS/PCY

first of all, im suuuper sorry for taking so long! secondly, i hope you enjoy this fic.

wc: 1.2k

WARNING: smut, fluff, threesome, foreplay, facesitting, tribbing, mention of toy usage but nothing comes from it, dom!jennie, dom!rose, switch!reader, fem reader, all fiction ofc

you weren't the happiest for your birthday, but you were glad that this year you would able to celebrate with your girlfriends. jennie and rose have been with you for a few months, but it felt like you were together for years. life was dull until they came in, and now you find yourself smiling more than once every day-- something that, before meeting them, barely happened during the week.

you came back from work and were surprised with the big "SURPRISE!!" from the two for your favorite girls in the world. they held a lightly ablazed cake with your name on it. "happy birthday!" the exclaimed, smiling and laughing at how you instantly shed tears of joy and appreciation for having two wonderful girls by your side.

you wiped your tears as you laughed along with them before blowing out your candles. as the two cheered and clapped (to the best of rose's ability because she was holding the cake), you watched as jennie went to the kitchen to grab some plates and forks. "thank you, guys, really," you said with full gratitude. "work was great as usual, but you always know how to make my nights better than the last."

"of course," rose said as she put the small heart cake on the coffee table. "we always want to make our special girl feel extra special on her special day."

you giggled as jennie finally came back with the cutlery and napkins. "and what better way to make our special girl feel special than to have her favorite cake and favorite position?" as rose nodded along, agreeing with the words jennie chimed in with, you were confused. position? what does she mean by-

"when you're finished, baby, take off all the clothes you can while we take care of you, okay?" rose's thick accent was laced with something else all-too familiar with you: lust. now all you could think of was wonder what type of position they would put you in that was supposedly your favorite.

while you three were eating your slices of the heart cake, you couldn't help the thumping in your ears from your heart beating out of control. the only thing on your mind weren't necessarily things, but rather your two lovers as they seemed to be eating the cake a lot slower than you wanted. as much as you wished to stuff yourself and them with the rest of your slices, you had to be patient. they planned a special night for you, and you are not going to let impatience ruin it for you.

an hour of slowly eating your slice (as you watched jennie swirl her tongue on the frosting and rose sensually lick the plate to further agitate you), you went upstairs and did what was instructed with you. as quickly as your clothes were off, your eyes were met with the most beautiful sight of your naked girlfriends. each one standing in front of you, as if daring you to look away from the stunning display in front of you. both jennie and rose took your hands and led you to the bed.

"spread your legs for us, baby," jennie told you. the girls smiled as you lay down and spread your legs. both gently kissed you on each cheek as their as hands explored every inch of your body. the love and passion between you three was clearly visible in the expressions on each other.

jennie's mouth went down to kiss along your jawline, sucking a bit on it before reaching your lips, starting a mind-numbing makeout session. as you were busy with your mouth, rose was busy trailing her kisses from your neck down to your nipples. she blew on them, making your visibly shiver, before latching on to them with her tongue and the roof of her mouth. your moans mixed with jennie's turned to whines as rose was giving your breasts the attention they truly deserved.

soon enough you wanted to be fucked, no longer being played with as the two then took turns making your center the wettest its ever been in a while. "please," you begged while breaking away from the kiss as jennie's fingers were rubbing your clit and rose was two knuckles deep. "i want you to fuck me."

"oh?" rose teasingly asked. "which one? my cock or jennie's?" even though they knew that they could both fuck you at the same time, with or without toys, they both knew your favorite position required one person at a time so that you could catch your breath.

"both of you." without asking any questions, although they had a lot at the time, nodded.

"how do you want us?" jennie asked. you motioned that you wanted one woman's cunt on yours while the other's cunt sat on your face. "aren't we supposed to be seeing you though, baby?" you didn't answer, but instead pulled them over the spots your motioned them to with a whine. "okay," jennie obliged, "anything for the special girl on her special day."

with your ass on the edge of the bed and your two best friends sitting above you, jennie began to ride your center while rose rode your face hard. the soft slapping sounds of skin-on-skin was music to your ears as the friction increased from thrusts. your hands found your slightly older lover's breasts while the oldest squeezed and rubbed your nipples. it felt like heaven.

before long, the room was filled with your moans and their groans as jennie's hips were bucking harder than normal, trying to reach that sweet release as well as you and rose. "fuck, im about to cum," you declared through your muffled mouth, causing rose to moan louder as her ass constantly bounced atop of your tongue. "cum for me rosie, jen. pleaseee~"

your request made them both move faster as your mouth started to become numb and your clit being overstimulated. rose came first, shivering as her cum dripped into your awaiting lips. "fuck," she whimpered, shaking her hips a bit before getting off your now drenched face.

jennie came straight after, thrusting forwards one more time before cumming directly on your pelvis, your center now sticky with each other's essence. both girls' orgasms left them panting and breathless. you panted too, barely able to keep your eyes open as you laid there, completely. the three of you just laid there, taking deep breaths before jennie spoke up again. "did you have fun, darling?"

you looked at her with a smile as you hummed. "yeah, i did." jennie gave you a quick kiss on the cheek. you turned to rose. "is this everything you wanted for my birthday?"

the bleached red head bit her lip before running her fingers against your stomach. "we were expecting to fuck you individually. but this was so much better. right jennie?"

jennie nodded. "right. we're just glad we got to celebrate you the way wanted us." both girls wrapped their arms around you and kissed you before kissing each other. then you kissed each woman before sighing in their love.

"happy birthday, baby. we live you so much."

#blackpink smut #rose smut #jennie smut #chaennie smut

96 notes · View notes

selfshipprompts · 9 months

Note

any tips for easy/super low budget ways to feel closer to an f/o (that aren’ picrews/art/fanfic)? I remember I saw a “marry a fictional character” website a while ago that got shut down long before I could use it. I have a good few f/o’s but I want to feel closer to ‘em and don’t really know of any methods :(

Glad to see you’re back! and it’s ok if you don’t have any answers

i know its not a helpful answer, but i genuinely believe that theres no wrong way to feel closer to your f/o(s) , so you should do whatever you feel is right! ..especially since everyone is different and has their own ideas on what feels right, and what works! so..

i can only give my own personal experiences, but im sure others can give their methods too! ->

something pretty specific i do is take a plush of my f/o with me when i go out, and take photos so i can put them in my scrapbook! its fun picking up pamphlets and keeping tickets n whatnot when travelling to document our adventures together. in my brain, its like.. its nice to have something between us that isnt online, yknow? even just travelling together and taking photos is really fun ^^ doesnt have to be a plush tho, could be any merch or even a printout or something :b

wearing stuff that reminds u of ur f/o is another one i like !! i like to buy rings, necklaces, earrings, etc. that remind me of my f/o so i can wear it and have a piece of them with me! could work for articles of clothing too, or you could make your own stuff! like ive made kandi bracelets with my f/os name and related words on haha but it doesnt have to be directly related to your f/o as long as it reminds you of them!

another thing i like to do is play games as my f/o? like.. if it has a character creator then i can try and make them ofc, otherwise just the case of "what decisions would my f/o make" or imagine it as an AU where we're in this other world having an adventure together.. AUs in general are just super fun imo, even if its just a "what if" or roleswap, finding ways to be together in different situations can make you think about how you work together n stuff!

im kinda just listing off stuff i do. i like collecting screenshots of my f/o in their source and making colleges, or drawing over them with lots of cute stickers and hearts using photo editting apps :] teaching yourself new skills for them is fun too? im slowly getting more into website building so i can make a neocities shrine for my f/o LOL

anyway! if anyone has their own methods of feeling close to your beloveds, be sure to reply or reblog! or send an ask, its always nice to keep the convo going! take care xx

#thankyou btw! steadily trying to be more active :) x #advice column #asks #anon #not an imagine

40 notes · View notes

wheeboo · 7 months

Note

new ask from : dizzy anon ! xe says...

good evening, america. i,, have come with not a fictional story but something very much real! (also, i love your reviews sm. i actually am writing the first 'episode' of the compilation stories! but not patience and grace yet. i like to finish something for the most part even if i'll release it in parts, so it'll be a while,,, i can tag you in it in the future hehe ^^)

do you get that feeling when you feel really smart when you get something? i don't know about you, but i seriously love it- like i figured out equations for shit like voltage, current, and resistance in my robotics exam (that i didn't study for and didn't take the first time). even with a calculator, it was noon and i was exhausted beyond belief, like- ?????? HOW the fuck did i do that.

feeling smart is everything to me, even tho i'm a silly little dude who likes to partake in silly little activities. this is why i like making my lore make sense by working on every nook and cranny, it makes me feel intelligent /j as if di ako bobo (affectionate) LMFAOOOO

another thing btw, nag-choir kami ng gregorian chant para sa music, at tangina napasigaw lahat ng mga boys nung natapos HAHAHAHA 😭😭 ako din naman. like sumakit paa ako amputa, napa-omsim sa inisip na 'deserve ko kumain'. imagine dalawang PT exam tas nag dalawang written kasi nag-absent buong week last week. then i had like six or five exams the day before 💪💪

hopefully your week's been good!! in my timezone, we're abt to head into the weekend and i hope to finish a powerpoint before 12am ^^ reemmber to drink water and/or treat yrself in any way.

; 💫

FKSLJFSD im glad u love my review lovely <33 just know i'm always willing to share my input on anything!! and omg i'd love to be tagged pls tag me !!

bro OMG ALL THE TIME. me in my college math class fr right now i literally feel like a fuckin einstein whenever a problem finally *gets* to my head. but im glad u were able to figure out ur stuff ur absolutely slaying fr bestie!! u deserve it sm <3

mahabang rehearsal ba ito? sobrang maingay ng mga boys 😭😭 anong kumain mo afterwards? i ask because i'm eating pancit rn sobrang sakit ng ulo ko djflkdsjf </3 but i hope u were able to eat something delicious n treat yourself!! those exams sounded so stressful omg but just be proud u were able to endure it and get it done !!

my weekend has been fun so far :) ako ng oras kasama ang mga kaibigan kagabi and went sa isang haunted house SJLKFSD. hope u were able to get ppt down before 12am!! and don't forget to also stay hydrated and treat urself as well <3

#💫 anon #answered #alos i see what u did there 👀 hehe #im blind i didnt even notice at first bye #um also is it weird i kinda like already figured out who u are like ..#a w hile back...#SLMAOSOD #i just didnt say nything cuz i didnt wnna make u uncomfy or anything </3

11 notes · View notes

smoosnoom · 7 months

Note

Hello!! I’ve been a fan of your fics for a while and I was wondering what your writing process is like? I haven’t written a fic in ages and I honestly miss it, so I was wondering how you tend to get started or find inspo :^)

u are so kind hello thank u so much i am glad u enjoy the things i write !!!! it means the world :D !!!

hmmm . i actually havent been writing any fics as of late but thtas mostly been for how stressed and busy i have been . but !!! i can tell u that my process is very much . a lack of one . i write oddly and strangely and i am a mess about it . i usually write a few lines in a scene and jump around from one part to another, wherever i feel my mind leaning towards i tend to go there and feed it ! its not very much a process as it is an . experience .

however, if im very much intentionally trying to get started on a fic i usually just . open up a doc and write the first sentence that pops up in my head . it doesnt matter if it is the most mundane and uninteresting thing, because the first draft is very rarely perfect . the main goal is to have something written down, because if u keep going, then that one mundane sentence builds up to create a showstopping paragraph and thats where u get the most motivation and satisfaction !!! so id say if ur very caught up with urself and thinking that nothing ur writing is good enough and u keep backspacing and have urself stuck in the same spot, then just . keep writing . keep going forward even if its grueling and absolutely terrible . after u have dug urself a tunnel out of that hole, u can go back and make it a proper staircase . u just need to get to where u want to be, and once u are satisfied or content, u can go back and fix what u want

if u find urself unable to do that, then i say seek out other media that really entices or evokes emotion in u . nothing (in my opinion) is as inspiring as a good piece of fiction or art or music or dance ! listen to music u wouldnt usually listen to or check out a friends movie recommendation, just try to push yourself out of the usual things you watch or read or listen to on repeat . taking the time to listen to something new and finding one good song that sticks with me for three weeks is the kind of stuff that has me writing 4 fics in one month !!!

anyway . i hope some of this was helpful or useful at all, if none of it was or if i just . didnt do a very good job of answering ur question, then let me know :) and the most important part of the writing process is just that, to write !!! write whatever it is, and if ur stuck in a block or arent proud of anything ur writing, then write the first thing in ur brain ! if u dont like that either, then thats fine !! just keep going until u find a rhythm . and if u dont, try again and again and again ! i am a firm believer in that trying makes all the difference . is that too cliche idk ! but i think its true

so . anywho . please let me know if any of this is actually useful to u :) id love to know how it goes, and please feel free to drop by with an update or anything !! thank u for the ask !!!!

#/ask #i hope this was helpful LOL

7 notes · View notes

daywalkers-fic · 9 months

Text

my plans to keep up with this month's prompts in chronological order have gone out the window so here I am once again, I'm torn into pieces. I offer a short story about meeting a “tall, handsome, stranger” that not only smacks you in the head, but might also be trying to rob you too.

Im a fan of interactive fiction - the community on tumblr is amazing!! writing Daywalkers as one did cross my mind early on—a fun thought I might entertain again someday. here’s my shot at writing in the second person. not proofread, pls pardon me.

🐎 ⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂ ⠂⠄⠄⠂ ⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂ ⠂⠄

yeehawgust day 7: tall, handsome, stranger

The sun beat down mercilessly overhead as your train pulled into town. You had undone your neckerchief and the first top buttons of your shirt, loosening the fabric to better fan yourself with it. Sensibilities be damned—the only thing on your mind was a bath and a good night’s rest.

“Excuse me,” you said, approaching the nearest station attendant, “How might I get to Charlie Quigg's bar from here?”

“Ser,” he greeted you with a polite nod, “You're looking for Sally's Singin' Spittoon Saloon?”

You couldn't recall the exact name of your uncle’s bar, but you remembered that it was something long with an odd rhyme—Sally's Singin' Spittoon Saloon was close enough. “Yes, thank you.”

“It's a short-way’s walk south of here,” he pointed to the road in front of the station, “Head down towards the post office. Make a left, and the saloon’ll be right across from Ferne's Inn.”

Relieved to hear that your destination wasn't too far from where you were, you thanked him and hurried on your way. You should be at your uncle's in no time.

—Or, so you thought.

Thirty minutes later, you were still melting under the summer sun, still with all your luggage, and still, not yet at your uncle's. Ferne's Inn was easy enough find, there was a painted sign that read “FERNE’S INN”. It was your uncle’s bar that was nowhere to be found. Across the inn was a boarded-up barn. Unless Uncle Charlie sold his business without the family knowing, you were in the wrong place. You went back to the station twice and back to retrace your steps—to no avail. There was no sign of Sally or her Singin' Spittoon Saloon anywhere.

Defeated, you headed to the inn in a dizzying trance. The heat fatigue was really getting to you.

“Hi,” the woman at the front desk chirped, “Welcome to Ferne's Inn.”

“One room and bath, please,” you replied hoarsely.

“We have a few vacancies. Do you have any particulars? Size? View? We have a room ready on our first floor, but many of our guests stay and enjoy the cozy—”

Bless this woman. She was doing a very good job to ensure that your room was to your liking, but you were becoming irritably restless. “I’ll take the first floor.”

“Room 1C it is then! You can go on ahead and get settled in. I’ll come fetch you when the bath room is ready.”

You’re not you when you’re overheating—is anyone? You body was built for the cooler seasons back home. Newbarrow summers were more dry than humid, but it was still too hot for you. Could you last the summer here?

After a wash and quick meal, you felt much better. Alert and refreshed, the change of clean clothes was also very comforting. You were on your way out to speak with front desk again when the door to your room opened. Unfortunately, you were too distracted to notice, fiddling with a stubborn button on your sleeve, and walked right into it. There was a concerning smack! as your face hit the wood.

“Shit!” you hissed, cradling your head.

“Christ alive!” a voice yelped.

A hammering pain shot to your forehead, and the hit to your nose made your eyes water terribly. Your fingers immediately brushed over the tender areas, checking for blood. You'll definitely be waking up tomorrow with bruises, but you were at least glad to feel that nothing was broken or bleeding. Through your tearing eyes, you looked up at the stranger in your doorway.

They stood at least a head and a hat taller than you. You blinked to clear your vision and get a better look at them. As their features came into focus, your breath faltered.

This was not good.

Before your trip, you had read about a string of crimes in the area. A gang of “devishly good looking” crooks were wanted for robbery and assault—their victims were often single, lone travelers.

Here you were, an unaccompanied newcomer that should have been more cautious, and they, a handsome stranger, was almost towering over you in your room.

You retreated backwards, head throbbing and heart racing. To your horror, the stranger stepped in further after you.

“Careful, are you alright?” “I don’t have any money!”

They blinked. “You think I’m here to rob you…?”

You looked away, refusing to participate in whatever mind games they were trying to play. There was no need to stare at your attractive assailant for any longer, either—you had seen enough to identify them later on. Never mind their hair, their rolled up sleeves, their deep brown eyes that complimented their skin and framed their face nicely—

No. Should you die today, you will not go down without a fight. You used your body weight to push them out into the hall and lock the door.

Of course their arms would catch your door before it closed. “I’m not here to rob you.”

“That’s exactly what a robber would say!” you grunted, fighting to close the door on them.

“Hey! I—ok, that might be true. But I’m not here to hurt you!”

“Get away from me!”

“Why are you so strong?”

“I'm fast, too. I'll be at the police station faster than you can even follow!”

“If anyone here is a criminal, it's you!”

Fine, you'll bite. “What do you mean?”

“You were behind the door all small and sneaky. You were waiting to ambush me!”

“What is that supposed to—!” “Will you just—!”

In the moment of confusion, your force on the door faltered and it swung open. You stumbled backwards and they fell forward towards you. They were able to catch themselves on the door frame, and managed to also catch you before you could fall, too. Their hands were firm on your arm, enough to steady you, but gentle enough so as not to hurt you. Wide eyes and heavy breaths met yours, the two of you stayed like this for a few still seconds. You could feel warmth bloom from under your skin, spreading up across your entire face—sore forehead and nose, cheeks and all. You were the first to look away, and they were the first so speak again.

“What are you doing in my room?” they asked slowly, releasing your arm.

Now you were feeling doubtful. You looked at the plated letter on the front door. “No, this is my room.”

They opened their mouth to say something, but immediately pressed their lips shut after looking at the the room number.

“…this is not Room 1E.”

You remained where you were, unsure if this was a part of their schtick or if they truly did mistake your room for theirs. You watched their face ease from confusion to worry, and then shock.

“I am so sorry,” they groaned, their face now in their hands. “My friend got me a room here last night. I was so tired, the only thing I could remember was it being down the right hall”—they dropped their hands with another groan—“I should’ve checked when I went out this morning. I apologize for startling you.”

You were inching back further into your room and moving slowly behind the door again, putting some distance between you. You’ll check their alibi with the front desk later. For now, you just wanted this person to leave.

“Exhausted delirium,” you nodded politely, “I get it.”

“Yeah,” they smiled at you sheepishly.

You couldn’t stand them looking at you like that.

“I, uh”— why were you getting flustered? They were the one in the wrong.

“Right. I’ll leave you to your day, then.” They took off their hat to run a nervous hand through their hair before putting it back on to nod at you.

“Take care,” you forced a small smile before quickly closing the door with the lock.

Shaken, you slumped down against the door. It hadn’t even been a full day yet and you managed to lose your family, almost get murdered, and awkwardly meet a tall, handsome, stranger. Was this worth writing to your friends back home about?

From the other side, you heard their voice trail down the hall, muttering. “The last time damn time Nicky takes me to the Spittoon…I swear I’ll…”

You shot up and scrambled for the door, poking your head out to call after them. “Hey! Wait!”

🐎 ⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂ ⠂⠄⠄⠂ ⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂ ⠂⠄

I had no one particular in mind writing this :) just two random characters. Gender neutral encounter that also harkens to my aroace panik of meeting attractive people.

alternatively, I had a cursed a idea to write something about a group of three cowpoke friends nicknamed “tall”, “handsome”, and “strange”.

#yeehawgust #yeehawgust 2023 #writing #cowboy #outlaw #western #wild west #reader pov #injury cw #chicken scratch #gn reader #gay reader #tumblr bring back text alignment damnit #western fic #wip #i needed a saloon name it was almost the salty spitoon #weenie hut juniors

9 notes · View notes

cnaaawd · 4 months

Note

hey, i uh. don't know if you remember me. maybe not! but we were friends, a while ago. at some point this year, we met in a discord server centered around people who produce dark fiction but aren't proshippers. i don't remember what name i was going by at the time, maybe rose?

either way, i just wanted to formally apologize for what happened. i've had to realize recently that i've viewed everyone in my life as disposable, because i see myself as disposable. they don't care about me, they won't miss me, why should i care about or miss them? that sort of thing. and it's led me to treat so many people in my life like shit. you're one of them.

this isn't me reaching back out to try and be friends again or anything, just formally apologizing for showing up, being buddy-buddy for a few weeks, then going scorched-earth because i had an anxiety attack. i hope you're well, rudy. :)

(also, if you ever did do the jade harley art we talked about, i hope you know i think about that story constantly. i took it off my account because it ended up being a point of friction, but it's still out there in the wild.)

star :) hello!!! I do remember you, I absolutely do, and you still have nothing to apologise for. Shit happens, but you also get over it. I really really liked you and you inspired (and still do inspire) me sososososo much, I am genuinely really fucking grateful to have met you. Im glad you're doing okay :)

I told you then and I'll tell you now, don't worry about what happened. Its just life that you're gonna make mistakes, youre gonna take the bad path, youre gonna think shit things about yourself and others and you're gonna lose people. I've been there you've been there everyone has been there and bought the fridge magnet. I love the fact you've reached out though, because I love to know you're alright, (hopefully) doing better, and (hopefully) can feel better about something!

and, I still have the wip. I kind of slumped when you left the server and dropped out of homestuck again lol. I do want to finish it though, because the piece you wrote for it is so GUTTURAL and so RAW that I cannot let it go unappreciated. You really inspire me to keep writing, and I still have email notifications for your fics turned on. I love your stuff, don't let yourself think youre disposable and won't be missed. It's made my day hearing from you again!!! :) i hope you have a good rest of the year, and onwards :)

#:)

3 notes · View notes

vampyrsm · 8 months

Note

hey, i just wanted to send this to you because i need to tell you just how much i love the cor unum series. ive been raving and wanting a true form sukuna fic that truly quenches my thirst for him and you just fucking delivered. i didn't know what i wanted really, but the moment i saw one of the chapters on my following page, i had to read. and i wasn't disappointed. like, i could read the time and dedication that it took to write with every word that i read. the way you articulate yourself and how story flows is so beautiful. like, ive read so much fan fiction and i think cor unum has to be one of my all time favorites. i look forward to the times that you post. your intricate details and imagery??? omg it's like so good that i literally tear up reading your series because it's just so fucking good ?!? if you ever decide to write a novel, please! i need to be first set on that preorder list because i know that whatever you write is good. also, you're like one of my favorite writers on this app. your bakugo fics, especially, im a bakugo fanatic and your fics are just… /chef's kiss/ omg theyre so scrumptious and i dont know i think this could continue on for pages. like i literally went into a google doc to write this. i just needed to get this off my chest because you're one of my favorite writers on here. much love baby. i don't want to keep this brain dump of an appreciation message to keep going. but please, keep writing. not just for the readers but for yourself first.

I'm so bad at accepting praise LMAO but thank you so much for your kind words!!! I'm so glad you've been enjoying it so far, I've always wanted to write something for trueform!Sukuna but I wasn't in the fanfiction world back when season one was released!

I can definitely say I've put a lot of work into the chapters so far, and I'd love to be able to post them more frequently but they take up a lot of time and effort - I think I'm averaging about 6-7k a chapter and there's so much to think about when it comes to jujutsu kaisen

I really hope that the rest of the chapters live up to that standard of being vivid enough that you can see what I'm envisioning, I've become so desensitised to my own writing that I really have no idea how anyone will receive it when I do post it but I'm so glad that it's coming out well!!

I'd love to write a novel one day, I think that's like my ultimate goal but I've got a long way to go - I make a lot of writing mistakes but yeah, I'd love to write something for real one day!

And thank you!!! I feel like I haven't wrote for Bakugou in a while (mostly because Cor Unum is occupying my brain 24/7) but I'm so glad that you enjoy them too

Thank you so much for taking the time to type out such a lovely message! It made me smile so hard that my face actually aches lol, I wanted to reply straight away but I was so giddy that I couldn't articulate my thoughts well enough LMAO so yeah, thank you so much. It really means the world to me to hear such positive feedback, especially when I do get into a slump about my own writing <3

#— alex has mail !#— user kishibye

4 notes · View notes

sgtmickeyslaughter · 5 months

Text

Weekly Tag Wednesday

ive had a hellish week and im so glad its halfway over

thank you for tagging me @jrooc

which character from any media would you like to have as a father?

logan roy because it would be hilarious and iconic

if money, laws, time, and effort were no object, what animal would you want to have?

i've always wanted a little bunny, but alas, time and effort are objects

what is your Chinese takeout order?

i dont really like chinese take out but i will go out and turn hot pot into a particularly delicious witches brew

what’s your favourite emoji?

🌿 its so pretty

would you rather have a library, greenhouse, or home theater in your house?

i would like a green house because i adore how they smell, and any room can be a library if you own too many books

what childhood tv show do you think of the most fondly?

idk if anyone else will remember this but the old pbs show between the lions, also reading rainbow

Butterfly in the sky, I can go twice as high Take a look, it's in a book, A Reading Rainbow!

what was your tumblr like when you first joined?

my main blog is turning a decade old this year, and I have really found a beautiful niche on my dash there, mostly art, photographs, film, and book recs

what clothing style do you love but don’t feel compelled to replicate yourself?

ive always liked super androgynous styles, but i am unfortunately built like a short botticellis venus

If you were plopped into a fictional world, which one would you know the layout of the best?

not that i know it well bc you cant, but i would love to get lost on the island from spirited away

what is your favourite piece of art?

my favorite piece ive seen recently are these richard serra sculptures

do you have a water bottle?

yes a very cute little olive green one that keeps me hydrated

what fanfic trope is a quiet fave?

I love a soulmate au, gallavich has made me appreciate au's, and i like a little miscommunication moment

do you carry a daily bag? what does it look like? what’s the weirdest thing in it?

its a small leather tote, and probably my earplugs bc the world is just a little too loud and if i dont carry them all the time ill end up at a concert without them

If you had to ship Mickey with another Gallagher, who would it be?

ew uh - they must have a hot cousin, or maybe one of claytons other sons, that would be interesting

what is a fanfic trope you didn’t expect to like and then very much did?

angst, i still dont like being sad but gallavich writers do it so good

do you think s11 Mickey can still carry s11 Ian?

yes but it makes his back hurt :/

Who got custody of the killing bat when they sold the house?

Lip and Debbie got into a fight about it on the front lawn, Liam snuck off with it while they were and hides it in his bedroom

what about you? @solitarycreaturesthey @stocious @i-think-you-mean-reduction @steorie @rainbowbri @mybrainismelted @transmickey

#tag game #sgt says

5 notes · View notes

Last Seen Blogs