#it has an ambiguous but at least conceivable happy ending

[absynthe--minded]

can you tell me more about how Sauron wanted to turn against Melkor during the First Age?

I can! Or I can try to.

There’s a fair bit in the text about this, and about the ambiguous relationship between them, but I want to start with this quote from the Quenta (meaning the published Silmarillion):

“In all the deeds of Melkor the Morgoth upon Arda, in his vast works and in the deceits of his cunning, Sauron had a part, and was only less evil than his master in that for long he served another and not himself.”

This is from the Valaquenta, the cast of Ainurin characters, and it establishes two things: first, Sauron was part of and a willing accomplice in all Morgoth’s major schemes, and second, that he was at least as malicious as Morgoth and calling him less evil is a matter of technicality. We also have this passage from Morgoth’s Ring:

“Though of immensely smaller native power than his Master, he remained less corrupt, cooler and more capable of calculation. At least in the Elder Days, and before he was bereft of his lord and fell into the folly of imitating him, and endeavouring to become himself supreme Lord of Middle-earth. While Morgoth still stood, Sauron did not seek his own supremacy, but worked and schemed for another, desiring the triumph of Melkor, whom in the beginning he had adored. He thus was often able to achieve things, first conceived by Melkor, which his master did not or could not complete in the furious haste of his malice.”

Again the repetition of his complicity in the evils of the First Age, but this time with the added “bonus” that since he was less corrupted he could accomplish more.

Corruption here means something more specific than moral decay - when an Ainu becomes evil and dedicates itself to evil it can end up losing a substantial part of its power and becoming locked into its physical form, limiting it and making it less magically proficient. Morgoth undergoes this transformation relatively early, and this is why when Nolofinwë (Fingolfin) wounds him during their duel it lasts and he walks with a limp. Sauron on the other hand preserves his magical skills and his shape-shifting abilities through the end of the Second Age, meaning he can do more and accomplish more.

As to rebellion or turning against Morgoth, that’s much more speculative. Several passages throughout the Legendarium echo the above, adding details and occasionally pointing out that he wished to serve himself and that he neither followed Morgoth into the Void after the War of Wrath nor submitted himself to the judgment of the Valar (and by extension the One).

Tolkien went back and forth on whether or not his repentance before Eönwë was geniune, though he waffled less here than other places, and ultimately it’s up to the reader to decide that. But it can’t be denied that during the First Age, he went from the commander of Angband who repaired it during Morgoth’s captivity and prepared it for his master’s return (and who probably perfected the genetic engineering necessary to make orcs, another tidbit from Morgoth’s Ring) to camping out in Tol Sirion and doing field missions and spending a substantial amount of time away from the Hells of Iron. As Lord of Tol-in-Gaurhoth he has his own servants and his own holdings, and while he knows Morgoth is looking for Lúthien it honestly seems to piss him off more than anything, especially since he’s expected to help and he’d clearly rather do anything else.

The end point here is that while this is all speculative, there’s enough to suggest something is going on with his loyalties, and he certainly seems happy when Morgoth isn’t around to make demands of his time or muck about with his plans.

Hope that helps!

#replies #arothin #tolkien #absynthe’s meta #sauron

[maxwell-grant]

I'm guessing you're not too fond of Walter White?

My immediate first-thought response to this is a twofold: Well, no, Walter White's a great character and the center of what is still one of my favorite tv shows, I obviously have some fondness for him / Well, obviously, what kind of psycho genuinely likes Walter White? Which I guess is kinda a shorthand for how I feel about Walter in general.

Because, look, I vastly prefer, and always have preferred, Jimmy McGill as a protagonist and character, even before Better Call Saul reached that level of quality where it's not unpopular to say it equals or surpasses Breaking Bad (and you all know I think it has well surpassed it), but obviously Breaking Bad wouldn't be this massive pop culture force of 5 seasons with some of the prestigious and critically-praised television of all time if it's protagonist wasn't, at a bare minimum, interesting to watch. There's not really much I can say without retreading like, the trillion essays people have written and will continue to write about Breaking Bad, and I'd have to do a full rewatch of the show to really get my thoughts in order but, yeah, I obviously have a great deal of appreciation for Walt as a character. I think a lot of people look at the Heisenberg fandom cult of personality, the catchphrases that stuck around the pop culture lexicon, and the fact that his ending is a sorta-pseudo self-sacrifice that borders on the faintest beginnings of a redemption, and just completely forget that for like, at least 4 seasons, he really was The Worst Man On The Planet (Or At Least Trying To Be) way more than he was just Average Family Man Desperate Because He's Dying of Cancer.

Walter is a very fascinating character full of complexities and contradictions, and he also is The Worst Man On The Planet (Or At Least Trying To Be), with his biggest crimes only compounded by the non-stop jackassery he displays pretty much every episode. Some comments Vince Gilligan made recently about Walt and Skyler (particularly regarding how unfair fans were to Skyler and Anna Gunn all throughout the show's run) were trending on Twitter and it's interesting to read them because, he was never really that ambiguous about how irredeemable Walt was past a point, he obviously didn't write him by accident and even conceptually Walt was always supposed to go off the deep end, but it's funny to read them and see that even he massively underestimated how detestable he made the character even from the get-go.

“Fifteen years ago, when I was conceiving of Walter White, I looked around and thought, Well, what is current TV? It's mostly good guys,” Gilligan said. “But now I'm looking around, thinking, Gee, there's an awful lot of bad guys on TV, and not just on shows but on the news.”

I’d like to believe that, unlike “Breaking Bad,” “Better Call Saul” has a somewhat happy ending. I think Jimmy rediscovers himself and gets back to his roots. He finds a little piece of his soul again. It gets very dark in the second-to-last episode. It looks as if he’s about to kill one of the sweetest people in the world, Carol Burnett [who plays Marion], and then he rediscovers his humanity. There’s a bit of Dickens’s “Christmas Carol” in it—there’s redemption, of a sort. I don’t think you see that with Walter White.

The further away I get from “Breaking Bad,” the less sympathy I have for Walter. He got thrown a lifeline early on. And, if he had been a better human being, he would’ve swallowed his pride and taken the opportunity to treat his cancer with the money his former friends offered him. He goes out on his own terms, but he leaves a trail of destruction behind him. I focus on that more than I used to.

After a certain number of years, the spell wears off. Like, wait a minute, why was this guy so great? He was really sanctimonious, and he was really full of himself. He had an ego the size of California. And he always saw himself as a victim. He was constantly griping about how the world shortchanged him, how his brilliance from him was never given his due. When you take all of that into consideration, you wind up saying, “Why was I rooting for this guy?” - Vince Gilligan

(Although regarding Vince's comments on Skyler, while he recognizes that the narrative was always rigged in Walt's favor, I don't think he ever seems to acknowledge that he and the writers actually very, very explicitly set up Skyler up right from the beginning to be unlikable, with a terrible first impression and a bunch of consequently really-not-great impressions designed to make us more sympathetic to Walt. Skyler at first was undeniably the worst part of the show almost by design and she didn't really start to become interesting until she broke bad herself around the third season, so it does feel somewhat disingenious for Gilligan to act like the Skyler hate is this completely weird inexplicable thing that's 100% just fans being misogynistic. Plain misogyny and hypocrisy accounts for like 70% of it, to be clear, but Skyler could have been handled a lot better.) (Also, while Skyler and Anna Gunn absolutely got the worst of it, I definitely think we don't talk enough about how appalling the fandom treatment of Flynn / Walt Jr is, and I absolutely think the showrunners are to blame for that. It took them forever to start treating Walt's family like characters instead of cardboard roadblocks stopping him from getting to the interesting parts, it shouldn't be that surprising that so many people never shook off those lousy first impressions when said impressions were around for almost like, 2 or 3 seasons.)

By far the worst thing he does is that he's consistently an abusive shitbag to everyone unfortunate enough to depend on him, and as fascinating as his dynamic with Jesse is, so so so much of it comes from this unbelievably grody place of Walt preying on Jesse's insecurities and failures to undermine him at every turn and groom into the perfect minion. Even before the Nazis step in the scene, the main reason we as an audience want Pinkman to be free is because we want him to do anything other than hang around another second with Walter.

And that's to say nothing of how he treats Skyler, or that absolutely horrible scene where he forces Walt Jr to keep drinking in order to spite Hank, and that was in Season 2, even. It's one reason why I put off rewatching the show, it makes a lot of scenes with him deeply uncomfortable to watch. Walter is consistently awful in ways that make him feel real. He exceeds the awfulness of most of the show's villains, mainly the Salamancas and Gus, because although Walt's antics border on cartoonish a lot of the time, his behavior and reasons for it aren't at all unbelievable.

I guess in a way I'm grateful that, after we've got past the period of Heisenberg being praised non-stop as the greatest tv character ever and developing that really shitty cult of personality, a lot of the newer and more surreal Breaking Bad memes and fan reactions people are making or having play into this idea more and emphase what a colossal shithead Walt was (usually having him contrast with Mike who, probably deserved what was coming to him it it came from literally anyone other than Walt).

Walter has more character flaws than most shows have minutes of runtime which makes him not just an interesting protagonist for a crime drama, but also interesting as this in-universe ticking time bomb who shows up to make everyone's lives worse and speedrun his way down the slippery slope so fast, they have to introduce actual Nazis in the final season just to make it so Walter isn't the absolute worst scumbag out of every room he walks into. It's gripping material when you're watching the show and it's interesting to discuss outside of it and it's really fucking funny when you wanna make jokes about it. Breaking Bad's meme legacy may have it's downsides but I will never get tired of seeing people make fun of the colossal idiot with a stupid face who ruined everything.

#replies tag #breaking bad #walter white #bryan cranston #also thank you vince for openly shitting on auteur theory #vince gilligan #brba

[nedfuckindiscretionchicanejr]

Moschicane week: Protect/Defend Fix it

Word count: 1315

“So.” Ned flinched at the sound. It had been silent in the car for the past three hours as they sped away from the large house and the police cars that were no doubt sweeping the area. The silence had been tense, but Ned could tell that that talking was going to be worse. “Do you want to explain to me what the Hell happened back there?”

“Well,” Ned began, knowing that he was turning this into a fight and that he would probably regret it, “for one thing, the house wasn’t quite as empty as you promised it would be. So that’s sort of the root of the problem, I think.” Ned was staring straight ahead, but he didn't need to be looking at Boyd to tell when he was getting angry. The car sped up dangerously.

“Is it, then? Because I seem to recall that we’ve done jobs, before, where there were people in the building. Those jobs all went fine. Let me try to think about what was different … Oh, you know, here’s something. We both managed to stay fucking quiet on those jobs.”

“Look, I was being as quiet as anything when the father came down. And he was surprised to see me. So I’m pretty sure he didn’t hear anything, and he just happened to come downstairs, because people sometimes do that in their own homes. I mean, Hell, Boyd, this isn’t exactly a museum where we can time the guard’s route.”

“No, you know what, Ned, you’re probably right. It was an unfortunate accident that the father came down when he did. What wasn’t an accident was that you started talking to him instead of immediately shutting him up. Unless you think it was pure coincidence that the daughter also happened to wake up and come downstairs at that exact moment?”

“Shut him … No, I don’t think it was a coincidence. But shut him up how, Boyd? By giving him a concussion like you did? By doing … whatever you were planning to do to the daughter? You know I’m not a violent person, and that I don’t approve of violence in general.”

“Oh, I’m well aware,” Boyd said sharply.

“Well then,” Ned continued, matching Boyd’s tone, “you should have known that the job was over as soon as I was seen. There was no good ending after that. And yet, you were determined to keep going. If we’d just left, then and there, the girl would have never even seen us.”

“And what of the father, Ned? What, exactly, should I have done differently?” Ned muttered something under his breath. Boyd said, “what was that, love?” but his tone was not particularly loving.

“I said, I don’t know!” Ned realized he was shouting and sighed. More quietly, he said, “look, I fucked up. I think we both fucked up. We should have checked the house was empty, I shouldn’t have made so much noise, and you should have agreed to leave as soon as things went south, instead of waiting until the girl was halfway to the phone.” Boyd suddenly turned a corner at eighty miles an hour, throwing Ned against the passenger door in the process.

“She wouldn’t have gotten to the fucking phone if you’d let me deal with her!” Ned was in no mood to be intimidated, and he wasted no time in raising his voice to match Boyd’s.

“Deal with her, how, Boyd? By killing her?”

Boyd’s quiet gasp was almost inaudible over the roaring engine, which was roaring less and less by the second. The car was slowing down, and Ned realized that he’d been gripping the sides of his seat. With some effort, he let go. Then he looked directly at Boyd for the first time since they’d left the house. He seemed … scared? When the car was a little below the speed limit, Boyd turned to meet Ned’s gaze. It took him a few seconds to speak, and when he did, it was in a quiet, cautious voice that Ned could barely remember hearing before.

“You didn’t … you didn’t really think I would kill her, did you?” Boyd looked so vulnerable, Ned just wanted to tell him, no, of course not, you could never. But he remembered the way Boyd had looked in the house and shook his head.

“I thought that you’d do anything, Boyd. Whatever it took.” Boyd’s eyes widened. “You’ve been getting …” More reckless? More violent? More frightening? “... worse lately. Sometimes it’s like …” Boyd’s expression was too much. Ned turned to look out the passenger window. “Sometimes it’s like I don’t know you anymore. And I have no idea what you’re capable of.”

Boyd didn’t respond for a while. Ned could hear him taking deep, regular breaths, and he wondered whether he was trying to keep himself from crying. He’d never seen Boyd cry before. Finally, Boyd said,

“I’m sorry that I’ve made you feel that way. And I wish I could say that it was just a misunderstanding. But you’re right; I’m getting worse.” Ned closed his eyes. They needed to have this conversation, but that didn’t mean he had to like it. “I don’t know what I was going to do. I don’t know how far I would go, if pushed. I’m not … I’m not sure I know myself anymore, either.”

Ned was holding back tears, himself, now. He knew what he had to say, but he was afraid. Because what if this was it? Despite everything, Ned loved Boyd, and he didn’t want to leave. But after this, he might have to.

“That’s not enough, Boyd. Admitting you have a problem is the first step, but it’s not enough for me. I need to know that you’re going to change. Not just try, but actually change. I can’t … I can’t keep doing this with someone who doesn’t know whether or not they would kill someone. I can’t be a part of that.”

“No,” Boyd said quickly, “of course not. I wouldn’t want you to, Ned. I would never forgive myself if I dragged you into … You’re too good. God, Ned, you’re so, so good. You’re the best thing in my life. I don’t deserve you, and you definitely deserve someone better than me.” Ned squeezed his eyes shut even tighter, but it didn’t stop the tears from escaping.

Then Boyd chuckled softly. Ned turned to look at him, confused. He looked tired and hurt, but there was a small smile playing on his lips.

“But I’m selfish - I don’t want you to be with anyone else. So I guess I’ll have to become someone better, eh?” Ned couldn’t stop himself from smiling, but he quickly reigned his expression back in.

“I know,” Boyd said, preempting him. “I know you need more than words. I’m not going to promise you anything because a promise means fuck all if it isn’t followed by actions. Just give me time, ok? I’ll prove that I’m serious. I’ll be better. Please.” Boyd wasn’t smiling anymore. He looked afraid again. “Please, Ned. I love you. Please give me another chance.” Ned sighed.

“One chance.” Boyd beamed. “I’m serious, Boyd. If you hurt anyone, that’s it. From now on, we only take safe jobs, and if something does happen, we run. No fighting. No victims.” Boyd nodded solemnly.

“No victims,” he repeated. “Never again.” Of course, Boyd had said it himself; a promise was nothing. Ned was hopeful but cautious. He would have to wait and see what happened. “I love you, Ned. I love you too much to let you go.” Despite himself, Ned smiled. It was so hard, right now, to remember how he had felt before. The man sitting next to him was Boyd, his Boyd. His partner. And he didn’t want to go anywhere.

“I love you, too, Boyd.”

#taz amnesty #boyd mosche #ned chicane #moschicane #moschicaneweek #ok i kind of lost the thread here #but it was supposed to be ned defending his chocie to protect aubrey #that's how it ties in to the prompt #also yes i did angst again but it's hurt/comfort this time so #so that's something #it has an ambiguous but at least conceivable happy ending #btw sorry about the late post but i was out of the house literally all day yesterday #im busy today too with d&d and then school stuff #hoping to do the last prompt fill tonight but we'll see

[trulyhumblenarcissist]

Abourt Rei Himura and BNHA Chapter 301

Now that I've read the official release of chapter 301 I can finally try to gather my thoughts. I think this time the particular rendition of dialogues and inflections provided by Caleb Cook is more crisp and clear than usual, especially in throwing "shade" upon Endeavor as a father figure. But let's do things in order...

Title: THE WRONG WAY TO PUT OUT A FIRE - a simple, but stark message that doesn't leave space for ambiguity. There was a fire, an imminent tragedy that could and should have been avoided, but whoever tried to fix it, did it all wrong and now we have to deal with a huge arson.

CARLESS HANDLING OF FIRE, on the other hand, doesn't quite cut it for me, because it seems like everything was caused by a foolish mistake. "I was carless and now I'm in a pinch"- type of situation, while it's perfectly clear that Endeavor and Rei decided purposefully which "strategy" to use with Touya. A BAD one to say it lightly. Rei's contribution and complicity is debatable, of course, and I'll touch on this later.

Let me get this clear though: I'm not trying in any way to critique the hard work of unofficial translators. I can't say anything relevant because I'm not a translator in the first place (I can barely understand English and my native language on a good day) and also because I am so grateful for everything they do in order to give us really good material FREE OF CHARGE basically a second after the release in Japan. I'm just interested about the different shades of subtext we can catch if we read the story through multiple filters. Every translation is unique because it carries the personal spin of the author even if the bias should be inexistent or ideally undetectable...

However, back to the chapter

REI'S CAGE

The first scene opens on a luxurious classic Japanese villa, with Enji, Rei and her parents discussing the motivation behind Enji's proposal. Or at least we initially think that's what's going on... Because in reality Rei's family couldn't care less about the motivation. Everything these people see is a wealthy, famous guy the next number one hero ready to take their daughter in marriage. I guess the Himuras are pretty broke, thight on cash, their old prestige is definitely gone and all they can do to save themselves from shame and poverty is "to sell" their only remaining asset.

During the whole ordeal, Rei is standing still, silent, cold as ice. She knows she doesn't really have a choice. How mortifying and sad is this? An adult, capable woman has no agency whatsoever, she is used again and again and she stoically accepts this treatment from every single dominant figure in her life until she can't be stoic anymore. I really hope Horikoshi's going to give her a much more proactive role in saving her family and it seems the narrative wants us to expect this type of character development.

I'd like to point out 2 panels in particular:

First one

In this scene the Todorokis are back from their trip to the doc, who clearly said they shouldn't try to conceive a child with a perfect quirk mix because it is dangerous (and morally questionable too). Rei understands this fact and tries to dissuade Enji, but he doesn't listen, because he's projecting all his pent-up resentment and frustration onto Touya. He knows how it feels to crush against an unbreakable wall, since he can't surpass All might and his son can't too. He had to learn this truth the hard way, so Touya needs to do the same. Enji is purposefully throwing upon his son years of failures, self consciousness and despair, just because the boy has to get it into his thick skull that he is a dud, just like his father. This is not a hopeless dad making a mistake bona fide, this is a broken man trying to destroy his self reflection by proxy, annihilating everything Touya is, swiping the kid's identity under the rug. He describes his son's dreams and sadness as something birthed from stubbornness. He is auto-convincing himself however (because Endeavor is not stupid). A little bit later he's basically saying: "Touya let's play make believe! We can go on like everything I had engulfed in your psyche never existed, you're a failed attempt so you don't exist. Your needs and wants are silly and useless, nothing worth dealing with now that I can't make you my prodigy. Why don't you go play with the other failures so that I don't have to look at myself while taking actually care of you. I don't want to see you, because it's too painful, because you're a remainder of my own inadequacy."

Note: If you want to read an incredibly well done analysis about Endeavor's motives and psyche, you can get it on @thyandrawrites , she's dwelt on everything extensively and way better than me.

I really want to talk about Rei though. In the panel I showed above, her expression is a bit tricky to analyse. At first she is very vocal about her position. She doesn't want to put Touya through useless suffering, especially since they have a scientific reason not to. They have no guarantee of success with other children, besides, they could possibly have to deal with other health related issues. However, all it takes to convince her in the end is Enji's half assed attempt at the "It's for Touya's sake" shtick. Is it really? Why doesn't she question her husband anymore?

Well... I think before Natsuo, she was probably hoping Touya would let go "naturally", with time and growth, maybe by taking interest in his other siblings. Rei said she wanted to have more children because in her mind they would have supported and loved each other. Maybe she was naive enough to think that a big family full of kids few years apart from each other was all Touya needed to distract himself from his purposes... BUT and here is the point I want to get across: She was deluding herself too, much like Enji. The ugly truth, in my opinion, is that Rei is a person prone to protect herself by going with everything other people want, especially if said people are capable of hurting her. Yes, she was hurt time and time again, but what would have happened if she really tried to stop Enji?

What I am trying to say is that Rei is the kind of person who endures to survive. She holds a "captive" mentality in which, by indulging her captor's desires, she can continue living with less possibile damage. If I stay still and silent, if I don't make a scene, I can go on, I can hold onto the few things I have that actually make me happy.

Let's think about it... Enji was so obsessed with his psychotic, power-hungry quest that he would have probably disown Rei. She would have been thrown away for a more compliant woman with an ice quirk, or something similar, this resulting in her probably losing everything, the respect and love of her family (the Himuras) and also her own children. Because we know Endeavor can definitely hold a grudge and is vendicative.

So, clarifying, Rei doesn't put up a fight because she is scared for herself in a way... She is scared to be hurt in the worst possible way (by losing her little bit of serenity), so her strategy is to endure and to keep up a facade of control and purpose.

Rei, ironically just like Touya and other characters in mha, doesn't really get what unconditional love is. Her family loves her until she can be useful to the Himura name and status, her husband loves her for her quirk. Her children, however, love her for who she is and she wants to stay with them... Only to be forced to leave them later anyway.

The few times Rei actually smiles are when she is with her babies. She is a deeply loving mother in her core, but her declining mental health makes her a very lacking caregiver.

This panel, in my opinion, shows the point of no return for Rei. She can't keep the glacial facade forever...

After Natsuo's turn to be deemed a failure, Endeavor is crazier than ever, because All Might is as popular and loved as ever and he hasn't make any progress into his eugenetic games. The last two images of Rei are very telling. She is exhausted, but she knows what her husband wants from her this time too. She looks like a lifeless doll and honestly I can easily see Shouto's conception as... Non consensual and I will stop here.

Then Shouto is born, the last, perfect specimen... And Rei isn't doing much for Touya, we can see she's apparently blind towards her eldest son's distress already after Natsuo's birth... But why?

Because she is actively avoiding to face the Touya's problems too.

If Touya is still suffering, is still feeling stressed and worthless, then everything Rei has endured, everything she pretended not to feel for the sake of her family has been completely useless. What Rei cannot look at is her own parental failure, is the concrete proof that while protecting herself and her peace she did not protect her children too, because the two interests were never really aligned, even if she really believed so. She never had a functional family to preserve in the first place and everything she accepted to do was all for the sake of a false sense of belonging.

However is too easy to say she should've rebelled against Enji and dumped his sorry ass. Abuse traps you and your abuser too in a cage tricky to escape.

What I imagine will happen next chapter is one of two things:

Enji stops Touya by using brute force, probably also saying something really scarring to reinforce the notion that Shouto is the only child he cares about.

Rei stops Touya by using her quirk. This act could be considered by Touya another confirmation that even his mother actually does something by her own accord only when Shouto's safety is at risk

Necessary conclusions

I don't blame Rei for her actions too much. She is a victim turned abuser by circumstances, but more importantly she's actually taken mesures to prevent herself from hurting her children again. She's trying to heal for her family's sake, really this time. Ten years spent dealing with guilt and having actual therapy seem a good plan to me. And now she's the one ready to snap Enji back to reality.

Enji, on the other hand, is trying too. It's too little too late, but if he stops avoiding reality and hardly works on understanding his family's point of view I don't think he is completely unredeemable. I don't see him surviving his last confrontation with Touya, thought... But I could be totally wrong.

Obviously everything I've said it's my personal analysis on Rei's character, as I interpret her actions and words, so feel free to contradict me and/or to add anything you might see fit.

#bnha301 #bnha meta #mha #my hero academia #todoroki enji #endevor #todoroki rei #rei himura #todoroki family #tw abuse

[violxt-hill]

Quotes I underlined in A Little Life

*Contains spoilers*

——————————————————————

‘Still, that had been his only sadness as a child, and even that was more of an obligatory sadness’

‘But he never thought that he didn’t deserve it, or that he should work harder to express his appreciation; his family was happy when he was happy, and so his only obligation to them was to be happy, to live exactly the life he wanted, on the terms he wanted.’

‘his presence beneath Willem’s bunk as familiar and as constant as the sea.’

‘To conceive of such a luxury, you needed an American mind.’

‘He got to see his friends differently, not just as appendages to his life but as distinct characters inhabiting their own stories; he felt sometimes that he was seeing them for the first time, even after so many years of knowing them.’

‘he recognised that he had unconsciously learned to adopt a certain tone when he talked to his parents, one emotionless and blunt, that was meant to echo their own.’

‘Maybe this is what it is to be dead, he thought, and realized it wasn’t so bad after all, and felt better.’

‘Friendship, companionship: it so often defied logic, so often eluded the deserving, so often settled itself on the odd, the bad, the peculiar, the damaged.’

‘in that moment, I felt something crumble inside me, like a tower of damp sand built too high’

‘it was not so much that Adele was a mother to me; it’s that to me, a mother was Adele.’

‘I have never been one of those people—I know you aren’t, either—who feels that the love one has for a child is somehow a superior love, one more meaningful, more significant, and grander than any other.’

‘You have never known fear until you have a child, and maybe that is what tricks us into thinking that it is more magnificent, because the fear itself is more magnificent.’

‘And after that, you have nothing to fear again.’

‘Fairness is for happy people, for people who have been lucky enough to have lived life defined more by certainties than by ambiguities.’

‘But it was true that for the first time, he was able to comprehend that the people he had grown to trust might someday betray him anyway, and that as disappointing as it might be, it was inevitable as well, and that life would keep propelling him steadily forward, because for everyone who might fail him in some way, there was at least one person who never would.’

‘he will never have to wonder, or worry, about what he did wrong, or what he could have done better.’

‘the only trick of friendship, I think, is to find people who are better than you are—not smarter, not cooler, but kinder, and more generous, and more forgiving—and then to appreciate them for what they can teach you, and to try to listen to them when they tell you something about yourself, no matter how bad—or good—it might be, and to trust them, which is the hardest thing of all. But the best, as well.’

‘He had been too high to protest, too high to say anything at all, and so he had only blinked and watched Jackson hobble around the room, trying to speak words in Jude’s defence, his eyes prickling with tears.’

‘By his age, you had met all the friends you would probably ever have. You had met your friends’ friends. Life got smaller and smaller.’

‘He wanted to devastate them; he wanted them to feel as inhuman as he did.’

‘life itself is the axiom of the empty set. It begins in zero and ends in zero. We know that both states exist, but we will not be conscious of either experience: they are states that are necessary parts of life, even as they cannot be experienced as life. We assume the concept of nothingness, but we cannot prove it. But it must exist.’

‘so many of these paintings were done when JB was at his most miserable, his most helpless, and yet they were self-assured, and subtle, and to see them was to imagine the empathy and tenderness and grace of the person who made them.’

‘He had never done it before, and so he had no real understanding of how slow, and sad, and difficult it was to end a friendship.’

‘Oh, he thinks, if I were a better person. If I were a more generous person. If I were a less self-involved person. If I were a braver person.’

‘“I’m lonely,” he says aloud, and the silence of the apartment absorbs the words like blood soaking into cotton.’

‘He is so lonely that he sometimes feels it physically, a sodden clump of dirty laundry pressing against his chest. He cannot unlearn the feeling.’

‘But increasingly, he is even more afraid that he will never have the chance to discover it at all. What does it mean to be a human, if you can never have this? And yet, he reminds himself, loneliness is not hunger, or deprivation, or illness: it is not fatal. Its eradication is not owed him. He has a better life than so many people, a better life than he had ever thought he would have. To wish for companionship along with everything else he has seems a kind of greed, a gross entitlement.’

‘I was ashamed—I would never be the father my father was, and I hated that he was here witnessing my failings.’

‘Later, I would regret that I hadn’t made it clearer to him that that person, whoever he was, with someone I wanted as well.’

‘I felt so many things at once that together, they combined to make nothing, a numbness, an absence of feeling caused by a surplus of feeling.’

‘He will be hurt again and again—everyone was—but if he was going to try, if he was going to be alive, he had to be tougher, he had to prepare himself, he had to accept that this was part of the bargain of life itself.’

‘Luke had taught him how to find pleasure in life, and he had removed pleasure absolutely.’

‘Beneath his arm, the paper feels almost alive with heat, Caleb’s name a dark knot of poison cradled inside its pages.’

‘This time, he keeps his eyes closed, imagining that soon, he too will be able to go wherever people go when they kiss, when they have sex: that land he has never visited, that place he wants to see, that world he hopes is not forbidden to him forever.’

‘Jude’s skin was as diverse, as wondrous, and in places so unlike skin as he had felt or understood it that it too seemed something otherworldly and futuristic, a prototype of what flesh might look like ten thousand years from now.’

‘But the scars were difficult for him to see not because they were aesthetically offensive, but because each one was evidence of something withstood or inflicted.’

‘Around him, the room was redolent of the unknown herb he’d found, green and fresh and yet somehow familiar, like something he hadn’t known he had liked until it had appeared, suddenly and unexpectedly, in his life.’

‘But when it was over, there was the same shame, the same nausea, the same desire to hurt himself, to scoop out his insides and hurl them against the wall with a bloody thwack.’

‘ The sorrow he felt when he realised that even Willem couldn’t save him, that he was irredeemable, that this experience was forever ruined for him, was one of the greatest of his life.’

‘all he could feel was his arms tingling with need, as if he had no veins but circuitry, fizzing and blipping with electricity.’

‘the pain sloshing through him like a tide, sometimes receding enough to let him wake, sometimes consuming him beneath a grayed, filthy wave.’

‘If you love home—and even if you don’t—there is nothing quite as cozy, as comfortable, as delightful, as that first week back. That week, even the things that would irritate you […] seem instead reminders of your own permanence, of how life, your life, will always graciously allow you to step back inside of it, no matter how far you have gone away from it or how long you have left it.’

‘He didn’t have the energy; he didn’t have the conviction—not any longer, not anymore.’

‘Suddenly, the pinpricks felt like not a punishment but a celebration, like hundreds of miniature fireworks exploding within him and for him, as if his body were reminding him of who he was and what he still owned: himself.’

‘Wasn’t friendship its own miracle, the finding of another person who made the entire lonely world seem somehow less lonely?’

‘they are all smiling at one another, and the world seems to hold nothing but sweetness.’

‘He just knew his death would come sooner than he had planned. But that doesn’t mean they weren’t happy years, that it wasn’t a happy life.’

‘And he begins to run toward his brother, so fast that after a while, he can’t even feel his feet strike the ground beneath him.’

‘Although often he feels he isn’t so much living as he is merely existing, being moved through his days rather than moving through them himself. But he doesn’t punish himself too much for this; merely existing is difficult enough.’

‘the woolly numbness of jet lag was sometimes indistinguishable from the woolly numbness of his grief’

‘some unnamable gray that only the very young or the very old possess: the color of the sea from which ones comes, the color of the sea to which one returns.’

‘his ambition and hopefulness will dissolve, and he will be cast into despair once again. Sometimes he thinks: I can do this. But more and more now, he knows: I can’t.’

‘He knows now: People don’t change. He cannot change.’

‘his past is as far away as it has ever been: he is in the middle of a lake, trying to stay afloat; he can’t think of returning to shore and having to live among his memories again.’

‘he has the sense that if he stretches his hand out and strokes the canvas, he will feel beneath his fingertips Willem’s hair, his fringe of eyelashes.’

‘he feels everything around and within him roiling, as if he is a bottle half filled with water set adrift on an ocean of clouds.’

‘what he is left with is his elemental self, someone he has never liked, someone so incapable of occupying the life he has, the life he has somehow made for himself, in spite of himself.’

‘I had the sense that he was a hot-air balloon, one that was staked to the earth with a long twisted rope, but each year the balloon strained and strained against its cords, tugging itself away, trying to drift into the skies. And down below, there was a knot of us trying to pull the balloon back to the ground, back to safety.’

‘and he smiled back at me, a sad, strange smile, and didn’t say anything’

‘“It’s such a beautiful house,” I said, as I always did, and as I always did, I hoped he was hearing me say I was proud of him: for the house he built, and for the life he had built within it.’

‘shocked but not shocked, surprised only that we were so surprised, devastated and beaten and mostly, helpless.’

‘that he died still stubbornly believing everything he was taught about himself—after you, after me, after all of us who loved him—makes me think my life has been a failure after all, that I have failed at the one thing that counted.’

‘Because he deserved happiness. We aren’t guaranteed it, none of us are, but he deserved it.’

‘It isn’t only that he died, or how he died; it is what he died believing.’

‘And so I try to be kind to everything I see, and in everything I see, I see him.’

#saw someone do this and decided I had to do it too #underlined quotes tell you a lot about people #i love the writing #literature #quotes #a little life #hanya yanagihara #jude st francis #willem ragnarsson #jb marion #malcolm irvine #harold stein #Andy contractor #sad #tw #self h@rm #depression #trauma

[davidmann95]

How about those JL storyboards?

In case you haven’t heard, Zack Snyder is putting on display the ‘storyboards’ - i.e. a rough plot summary accompanied by some Jim Lee sketches - for what would have been Justice League 2 and 3, or as this puts it 2 and ‘2A’. You can see them here (I imagine better-quality versions will soon be released), and read a transcript here. This is evidently a very early version: this was apparently pitched prior to the release of BvS and Justice League being rewritten in the wake of it, with numerous plot details that now don’t line up with what we know about the Snyder Cut, plus it outright mentions it builds on the originally planned versions of the Batman and Flash movies. But it’s a broad outline of what was gonna go down, and while I initially thought it was Snyder throwing in the towel, the timing - paired with the ambiguity left by the necessity for changes, including that this doesn’t factor whatever that “massive cliffhanger” at the end of the Cut is - says to me he’s hoping this’ll be a force multiplier behind efforts to will sequel/s into existence. He’s probably right.

I’ll be discussing spoilers below, but in short: with this Zack Snyder has finally lived up to Alan Moore, in that like Twilight of the Superheroes I wouldn’t believe this was real as opposed to a shockingly on-point parody if not for direct, irrefutable evidence.

Doing some rapid-fire bullet points for this baby to kick us off:

* Folks who know the subject say a lot of this is a yet further continuation of Snyder doing Arthuriana fanfic with the League reskinned over those major players, and I’ll take their word for it.

* I don’t know whether I love or hate that in Justice League 2 the Justice League are only an extant thing for the first scene, and then it’s Snyder giving everybody their own mini-movies. It’s compressing the entire MCU “loosely interconnected solo stories leading to a single big movie later” strategy into a single movie!

*  Funniest line in the whole thing: "Even Lantern has heard of the Kryptonian, worried that he's under the control of Darkseid. He heard his spirit was unbreakable." Hal what fuckin' Superman movie did YOU watch? Second funniest being “IT WILL GIVE HIM POWER OVER ALL LIVING LIFE”

* 90% of the plot I have nothing to say about, it’s generic stage-setting crap. That to be clear is the ‘shocked it’s Snyder’ element, it feels so crassly commercial in a way I can’t believe is coming from the BvS guy.

* Most of what I have to say is unsurprisingly gonna be about a handful of characters but Cyborg’s happy ending being “he isn’t visibly disabled anymore!” is not great!

* The Goddess of War battle with Superman...never pays off? No clue why it’s there.

* What I’d originally heard was that the Codex in Superman’s blood was the last key to the Anti-Life Equation and that’s why Darkseid was coming to Earth. It’s not like all of this wouldn’t have already been averted by Kal-El’s pod smacking into an asteroid on the way to Earth so it’s not as if this makes it any more Superman’s fault, and it would have at least tied all this back to the beginning of the movies, but I suppose that was either fake or from a later draft.

* I have NO idea how this was reimagined without the ‘love triangle’, it’s the central character thing and the entire climax flows directly out of it!

* Darkseid’s kinda a chump in this, huh

Anonymous said: So: Does Zack Snyder hate Superman?

Look: the hilarity of this when Cuck Kent has been a go-to Snyder cult insult towards ‘inferior’ takes on Superman for years cannot be understated, yet at the same time I can almost wrap my brain around where Snyder’s coming from with that as the end for his take on the character. He talked in that Variety piece on how his interest in Superman is informed by having adopted children himself, and Deborah Snyder is the stepmother to his kids by previous relationships, so I can see where he’d be coming from, and I can even imagine how he’d see this as ‘rhyming’ in the sense of “the series begins with Kal-El being adopted by Earth, it ends with him adopting a child of Earth!” In the same way as MARTHA, I can envision how he would put these pieces together in his head thematically without registering or caring what the end result would actually look like. In this case, Superman raising the kid of the man who beat the shit out of him who Batman had with Clark’s wife, who earlier told Bruce she was staying with Clark because he ‘needed her’, suggesting if inadvertently that this really honest to god was a “she’s only staying with Superman out of pity, she really loved Batman more” thing.

But Clark is nothing in this. He’s sad and existential because of coming back from the dead I guess, then he’s corrupted, then time’s undone and he woo-rah rallies the collective armies of the world (interesting angle for the ‘anti-military/anti-establishment’ Superman he’s talked up as) as his big heroic moment in the finale, and then he stops being sad because he’s adopting a kid. So his big much-ballyhooed, extremely necessary five-movie character arc towards truly becoming Superman was:

Sad weird kid -> sad weird kid learns he’s an alien, is still weird and sad, maybe he shouldn’t save people because things could go really wrong? -> his dad is so convinced it could go wrong he lets himself die -> ????? -> Clark is saving people anyway -> learns his origin, gets an inspiring speech about being a bridge between worlds and a costume -> becomes superman (not Superman, that’s later) to save the world, albeit a very property-damagey version, rejects his heritage he just learned about and space dad’s bridge idea -> folks hate him being superman and that sucks though at least he’s got a girlfriend now -> things go so wrong he considers not being superman but his ghost dad reminds him shit always goes wrong so he should be good anyway, which sorta feels like it contradicts his previous advice -> immediate renewed goodness is out the window as he’s blackmailed into having to try and kill a dude but the dude happens to coincidentally have some things in common so they don’t kill each other after all -> big monster now but superman keeps supermaning at it because he loves his girlfriend and he dies -> he’s brought back, wears black which apparently means now he likes Krypton again? -> he has work friends now but he’s still sad because he was dead -> evil now! -> wait nevermind time travel -> rallies the troops -> his wife’s having a kid so he’s not sad anymore -> Superman! Who gives way to more Batman.

Do I think Zack Snyder is lying when he says he likes Superman? No. I think he sincerely finds much of the basic conceits and imagery engaging. But I don’t think he meaningfully gives shit about Clark as a character, just a vessel for Big Iconic Beats he wants to hit. Whereas while for instance he’s critical of Batman as an idea (at least up to a point), he’s much more passionately, directly enamored with him as a presence and personality. So while Superman may be the character whose ostensible myth cycle or arc or however it’s spun might be propelling a lot of events here, it’s a distant appreciation - of course the other guy takes over and subsumes him into his own narrative. Of course Batman is the savior, the past and the future (though if he’s supposed to be Batman’s kid raised by Superman there’s no excuse for him not to be Nightwing), the tragic martyr to our potential. Admittedly the implication here is also that Batman can apparently only REALLY with his whole heart be willing to sacrifice his life to save an innocent, for that matter apparently his great love, once said innocent is a receptacle for his Bat-brood, but he and Clark are both already irredeemable pieces of shit by the end of BvS so it’s not like this even registers by comparison.

Anonymous said: That “plan” Snyder had was utter dogshit. Picture proof that DC & WB hate Superman. Also I love how you’re like Jor-El: Every single idealistic take you had about Snyder, his fandom, and BvS was wrong. Snyder’s an edgy hack, his fanbase just wants to jerk off to their edgy self-insert Batgod as he screams FUCK while mowing people down with machine guns, and the idea that BvS said Superman was better than Bats was completely wrong. You know what comes next SuperMann: Either you die or I do.

In the final analysis, beyond that mother of god is there sure no conceivable excuse for the treatment of Lois in this? The temptation is to join that anon and say as I originally tweeted that these were “built entirely to disabuse every single redemptive reading of the previous work and any notion of these movies as nuanced, artistic, self-reflective, or meaningful”.

...

...

...yeah, okay, that’s mostly right. Zack Snyder’s vision really was the vision of an edgelord idiot with bad ideas who was never going to build up to anything that would reframe it all as a sensible whole. He’s a sincere edgelord genuinely trying really hard with his bad ideas who put some of them together quite cleverly! But they’re fucking bad and the endgame was never anything more than ramping up into smashing the action figures together as big as he could, the political overtones and moral sketchiness of BvS while trying to say something in that movie reverberated through the grand scheme of his pentalogy in no way beyond giving his boys a big sad pit to rise out of so when they kicked ass later it’d rule harder, and all the gods among men questions and horror and trappings were only that: trappings. Apparently he’s really pleasant and well-meaning in person, but at his core his art as embodied in a couple weeks in his 4-hour R-rated Justice League movie meant to be seen in black-and-white all comes down to that time he yelled at someone on Twitter that he couldn’t appreciate Snyder’s work because it’s for grown-ups. He made half-clever, occasionally exciting shit cape movies for a bunch of corny pseudo-intellectual douchebags, folks latching onto and justifying blockbusters that at least acknowledge how horrifying the world is right now even if the superheroes are basically useless in the face of it if not outright part of the problem until a convenient alien invasion shows up to justify them, and a handful of non-asshole smart people who vibe with it but...well. ‘Suckered’ is a harsh word, and definitely doesn’t apply to all of them re: what they’ve gotten out of it up to this point and would (somehow) get out of this. But it doesn’t apply to none of them, either.

#Justice League #Zack Snyder #Superman #Batman #DCEU #Opinion

[mirandalinotto]

South Solitary Review

Trigger Warnings: Death, Combat PTSD, Referenced Suicide, Sexual Assault/Dubious Consent, Cheating, Implied Pregnancy Loss/Abortion, Hysterectomy, Blaming the Victim..... yeah. it’s a lot.

here there be spoilers. 

I definitely went into this movie thinking it was a cute little story about a girl, her lamb, and her stern uncle. Boy, was I wrong!

Miranda Otto plays Meredith Appleton, the niece of George (played be her real-life father, Barry Otto). I’m going to use Miranda and Barry’s names instead of their character names, because that’s just easier to understand, I think, but please know I’m talking about the characters they play, not they themselves.

So, Barry and Miranda are sent to the South Solitary island because the Head Lighthouse Keeper committed suicide, and the lighthouse needed a new person in charge. Barry is incredibly strict and often rude, but I suppose that’s understandable, at least when it comes to how he treats his staff, considering the state they find the lighthouse management in.

Miranda’s character seems incredibly precious, shy, demure, and completely unfit for the rough life of living on a craggy rock with only a few other people for company. At the start, there are six other people on the island: the Stanley family, which consists of Henry Stanley (a rogue if there ever was one), Alma, his rough and sharp-tongued wife (played by Essie Davis), and their three children... and then the brooding, PTSD-plagued war-veteran, Jack Fleet.

There are some pretty upsetting subjects discussed in this movie, not the least of which being an extremely blunt conversation between Miranda and Essie Davis, in which Essie Davis’ character presses Miranda for intimate details about why she isn’t married yet, and hasn’t had any kids. 

Miranda reveals that she can’t have children, because an operation went wrong (it’s implied that she had an abortion, based on Essie asking, “you were up the pipe?”), and she was forced to have a hysterectomy as a result. She says the child was conceived with a married man (which I’m extremely confused about, because I thought the man involved would’ve been her so-called fiancé...?) and it’s very odd that they just drop that fact into the story, because it seems extremely out of character for Meredith, as we know her currently... and yet, it becomes a fundamental characterization, as she later goes on to sleep with a married man again, and defends how poorly her uncle treats her by insisting that he was the only one who would take her in after the (implied) abortion. 

Essie Davis is unsympathetic to Miranda’s sad backstory, and never warms up to Miranda’s character... so the opportunity for female friendship was sadly missed in this film. They are pretty much enemies from start to finish.

There’s also a subplot where Miranda tries to get to know the youngest child, Netty, but the girl is very hard to read. You can tell she’s had a rough life, and doesn’t suffer fools. Their “friendship” barely develops before Netty fails to care for Miranda’s sheep, and they have a falling out.

Also, there is an ambiguously rape-y, dubiously consensual scene where Henry attempts to seduce Miranda, and is... apparently successful? I feel very strongly that her multiple polite refusals of his advances ought to have indicated to the man that he should leave her alone. She seems incredibly naïve, innocent, and virginal in this scene (which is odd, considering she’s apparently had an affair with a married man before...?!). He’s pretty open about being attracted to her for a good portion of the scene, so Miranda’s polite rebuffs shouldn’t have been taken as consent---as in, he took the fact that she didn’t throw him out of her cottage at the first warning sign as “leading him on.”

To that point, she literally says, “I’m sorry if I’ve led you on,” and he says she hasn’t, and then like one minute later, when she insists she hadn’t noticed that he was interested in her, he acts surprised and goes: “well now you really are leading me on.”

When it becomes clear he’s about to kiss her, she gets this incredibly frightened look on her face, and says, “oh! there’s the milk boiling!” clearly intending to run away from him and tend to the stove, but he forces her to kiss him... and then the scene cuts to black, leaving me very concerned that he raped her.

We see them alone together two more times, one where he forces another kiss on her in the light house, and then another where it’s just a straight-up sex scene. I hate the angle they took the sex scene from, because it looks like Miranda’s body is in an extremely uncomfortable position as he pounds into her. It definitely doesn’t read as a romantic coupling, that’s for sure. 

I guess we’re meant to believe that she warmed up to him sometime between him forcing himself on her in the kitchen and them having sex in her bed days later...?

(I hate it.)

Anyway, Essie Davis finds out about the affair, and makes the whole family leave the island. This leaves only three people left: Miranda, Barry, and the war-veteran, Jack, who has frequent PTSD episodes and really shouldn’t be a lighthouse keeper at all. 

Also, Barry is PISSED when he finds out about Miranda’s affair, and there’s a lot of slut-shaming and victim-blaming that goes on, right before he just randomly... dies? I definitely didn’t see that coming. So he dies while still extremely disappointed in Miranda, and I just hate that, because her character seems fixated on what others think of her. His displeasure with her in his final hours definitely left a wound in her heart.

Which then leaves Miranda alone on the island with Jack. Miranda’s character isn’t good at being alone. The rest of the movie is honestly just her trying to get Jack to open up to her, but he doesn’t really. They embroider things together, and he teaches her how to be a lighthouse keeper, but they only barely scratch the surface of each other’s pasts. 

And then a ship arrives to take her home....?!! The end?! But not before she insists she ought to stay, which I found incredibly weird. She barely knows this brooding man, and suddenly she can’t live without him? She doesn’t want to leave him alone, despite the living conditions on the island being impossible for her to endure? It’s very strange.

I had high hopes for this movie, and I do think it’s worth watching, if only for Miranda’s beautiful, moving performance.... but I just sort of don’t know what the point or message of this film was supposed to be...? 

Miranda Otto’s character is treated pretty poorly by everyone on the island. There is very little happiness or humor to balance the darkness of the story.  Most of the moments that are meant to be romantic or sexy are dubiously consensual, so I didn’t find those very enjoyable, and the subplot about her lamb going missing (presumed dead) and then her finding it months later just isn’t that entertaining, if I’m being honest?

All in all, I’d give Miranda’s performance a 10/10, but the movie as a whole about a 5/10.

#miranda otto #south solitary #essie davis #meredith appleton #barry otto

[tanadrin]

So all the terrible retcons and geographic inconsistency (Kul Tiras wtf) and the time travel and the bullshit with the night elves is bad (Illidan is the worst character ever, don't @ me), but the most frustrating part of WoW lore to me is its failure to explore certain complex emotional themes in a really satisfying way--like, the people who expound and expand on Warcraft lore are canny enough to notice that these emotional themes *exist*, but not clever enough to actually work with them or build them out, and so the whole thing collapses into rule-of-cool melodrama. There's nothing wrong with rule-of-cool melodrama; I love rule-of-cool melodrama. But Warcraft lore is *begging* to combine that rule of cool melodrama with some really rich and interesting emotions and character interpretations, it sets them up and is all ready to knock them down, and just... doesn't.

Take the conversation between Saurfang and Garrosh in the Borean Tundra, in WotLK, the one that ends with Saurfang saying "I don't eat pork." I think that's emblamatic of the big theme that unites the Horde, that makes it make sense as a faction. The Alliance, after all, started as a defensive association in the face of the Orc invasion; its renaissance after the creation of Durotar and the invasion of the Scourge is only natural. But what is the theme of the Horde? Is it honor? Strength? Sheer brutality? Well, none of those things. Orcs claim to value honor and strength; the Forsaken are certainly various shades of very dark gray at best, the Tauren and the Orcs *do* seem like natural allies of a sort, but all the races of the Horde have something even deeper in common: trauma. The Orcs are still (cf. Saurfang) dealing with the emotional turmoil of having been both forced and partially complicit in the atrocities of the First and Second War--after which their homeworld was destroyed, they were forced into concentration camps, and they had to rebuild their culture and their identity from the ground up. They have to find a new place in a new world, and there's this tension between the younger generation that doesn't have firsthand experience with any of this and just remembers that the Horde used to be a name that struck fear into the hearts of their enemies (Garrosh Hellscream, for instance) and the older generation that remembers how awful that time really was, and doesn't want to see the old ways revived because it might just destroy their people for good this time. Then there's the Darkspear Trolls and the Tauren, who were both driven out of their old homelands, and fell in with the Horde as natural allies with similar cultural points of reference; and the Blood Elves, whose suffering in the Third War was severe enough to radically alter their culture, coupled with being betrayed by their ruler who decided that joining the Burning Legion and abandoning them sounded like a better time than rebuilding Quel'Thalas.

And then there's the Forsaken. Oh, man, the Forsaken. The Forsaken and Sylvanas are some of my favorite characters in all of WoW, because sure, you could look at it and say, "okay, creepy undead who like green things that go plop and mad science = evil, bad guys." But you'd really be missing what makes the Forsaken interesting. They're not the Scourge--they explicitly broke away from the Scourge when Arthas left Lordaeron. They're not invaders, either. They're in fact mostly the human population of the destroyed kingdom of Lordaeron, the inheritors of that land, but who are treated by the Alliance as interlopers with no right to the very towns and villages they have *always* called home. They're treated as monsters by every living person who ever knew them, and they can't help but regard themselves that way, too. "What are we, if not slaves to this torment?" is one of the casual interaction lines you get when you click on Sylvanas: they do not *like* being dead. But Sylvanas is ruthless and cruel and after Arthas is killed, wins the Val'kyr over to her side so she can keep making more Forsaken. Why?

Simple. Let us imagine: you are an ordinary person, of no unusually great or poor moral virtue. You are hurt, badly. Grieviously. In a way you will never recover from. And everyone you love, all of your friends and your family, the whole society you come from, now sees you as an unredeemable monster that should, no, must be destroyed. How long must you be called a monster before you decide--fuck it, I *will* be the monster they call me. Because, at least that way, no one can ever hurt me again.

The overpowering motivation for the Forsaken is not power or bloodlust; it's not money, or forbidden knowledge. It's making sure no one in the whole world is ever able to make slaves of them again. To make sure they will not be hurt. And the biggest misstep the Alliance ever made was not reaching out to Sylvanas with overtures of friendship as soon as she established her kingdom--because like it or not, she has the support of the people of Lordaeron, and thus a damn good claim to her position. Maybe, if they had, they could have influenced the Forsaken, shown them that they had friends and didn't need to resort to amoral methods to defend themselves. But as it stands, they only have allies of convenience in the Horde (at least until Sylvanas becomes Warchief), and they know that no one in Azeroth is quite happy to see them continue to exist and be free. Everything else about the Forsaken--their use of dark magic, their development of a new, even more destructive plague, their recruiting former servants of the Lich King and raising new Forsaken from among the dead of the ongoing wars--makes perfect sense from the standpoint of a people that knows they are under threat from all sides, and will do anything to survive.

(The Draenei could have been something like this, too, FWIW. Like, a broken people, a people of exiles who are most comfortable in the shadows and with moral ambiguity. But then Metzen had to go make them Righteous Space Goats. I mean, come on. They're just boring now. They were never going to be Horde-aligned--there's too much history with the Orcs  there!--but having a group like that on the side of the Alliance, to help drive home the point that there is not a clear good guys/bad guys distinction here, would have been really nice.)

That actually makes them a pretty damn good fit for the Horde. Moreover, it creates an interesting point of tension with the Alliance, which is clearly *not* always the good guys. I mean, there's the matter of orc concentration camps, but also consider the refusal of leaders like Daelin Proudmoore to contemplate peace (and the subsequent, somewhat... forced turn of Jaina Proudmoore from dove to hawk) and the steadfast refusal of many on that side to deal fairly with the races of the Horde just because they appear monstrous. And arrogance, hoo boy. Dalaran, Gilneas, the Night Elves--huge swathes of the Alliance are characterized by being arrogant and not a little cruel.

And what of Sylvanas becoming Warchief? I don't know where the BFA lore is going (I'm not playing retail anyway), but right now it looks like they're setting up another Garrosh type situation, and preparing for Thrall to retake the Warchief-ship, but if they do that it would be a real pity. First of all, because, well, we saw that already in Mists of Pandaria! What, are we going to besiege Orgrimmar again? Second of all--Sylvanas and Garrosh are *very* different people. Garrosh was, well, Proud; hence the Sha of Pride. He wanted glory and power, he wanted war for war's sake, so he could live up to his father's reputation as a warrior. He was willing to sacrifice everything else that made the Horde the Horde for that. Sylvanas, though, has one overriding motivation: Keep Her People Safe. Punish the people who hurt her is a strong secondary motivation--but it's part of that first one, because if she can make her enemies' victories painful enough, she might discourage them from trying to press their advantage. And her people *trust* her on this: "Dark Lady watch over you," they say when you take your leave. She is not an autocrat--she is their beloved protector. So, she makes the ruins of Lordaeron uninhabitable. She annihilates Teldrassil. Does she spend very many Orc and Troll and Tauren lives doing so? Very well. They aren't *her* people.

I don't think this has to be a tragic flaw leading to her downfall. It sure doesn't make her a good leader for the rest of the Horde, though (even though, on an emotional and aesthetic level, I am 3000% here for Warchief Sylvanas, even more than Warchief Vol'jin, who also had a lot of the creepy threatening vibe that made him a much more interesting choice than either Thrall or Garrosh). But you could make it one, and you could do it very well--they've already mentioned in the tie-ins that Calia Menethil, Arthas's sister, teeeechnically has a claim to the throne of Lordaeron. And, even more interesting, is no longer quite among the living, even if the mechanism of that unlife is happy fun magic instead of evil death magic. Moreover, she has some sympathy for the Forsaken. You could have a squaring-off between them, and you could have a Queen Calia--maybe. If you could bridge that gap and make her understand that the Forsaken feel fundamentally apart from the other human kingdoms now, if she could come to understand just how much evil the Alliance has done to them, if she could really grok what it's like to be them. Then you could have a leader who understands their trauma--but also wants to heal it, rather than lash out at anyone and everyone that might conceivably be a threat. That, too, would be very interesting.

(There’s a reason that, while I loved the Alliance as a kid, I only play Horde toons as an adult. It’s not just that the Horde feel more interesting and vivid to me. It’s that the hypocrisy and the arrogance of the Alliance stands out in much greater relief now. The Horde aren’t good guys--nobody’s the good guys, here--but they don’t lie about their motivations, and they don’t act with cruelty and then play the victim in response. Jaina was an important exception, but they badly mishandled her character in the runup to MoP, which I find very hard to forgive.)

But knowing Blizz, even if they go vaguely that route, they won't stick the emotional landing. There is a very good, if very OTT and melodramatic (in the best possible way), series of fantasy novels or games lurking *behind*, or perhaps parallel, to Warcraft's lore. It is a shame that Blizzard has done so much to obscure it with obnoxious cruft, retcons and timeline compression, repetitive use of the same handful of characters, stupid-ass time-travel plots that create ten thousand plot holes and inconsistencies, shitty tie-in novels (cf. everything by Richard Knaak), and a total failure to make half the world's characters (i.e., everyone in the Alliance) at all interesting. I have a daydream of doing my own version of WoW lore and posting it somewhere like on AO3, but one of the things that makes WoW lore simultaneously so interesting and disappointing to me is that it's embedded in the explorable, realized space of video game worlds. Hard to reproduce that in print, I think. Might be worth it to try.

#world of warcraft #lore #warcraft lore #the forsaken #sylvanas windrunner #the work of chris metzen and its discontents #but hey #at least i got full chain of the scarlet crusade on my warrior in classic

[nellie-elizabeth]

The Good Place: Whenever You're Ready (4x13/14)

Okay yeah I cried cried cried. That was powerful.

Cons:

I don't really have the heart to nitpick and critique this finale. It was as good an ending to a TV show as I've seen in a very long time.

I guess... I wish it was longer?

Pros:

Just conceptually, this version of the afterlife is so freakin' gorgeous and ideal and even though I'm an atheist and don't think there's an afterlife, I... hope this is what the afterlife is like?

It just... works, on every conceivable level. Think about it. You die, and then you get to go through simulations where you learn about yourself, where you learn to improve and be a kinder, better person. And then after that, you get to go to a fun place where you can live whatever kind of life you want with absolutely no worries - the conventional dream of Heaven. You can be peaceful, or you can learn new things, you can achieve goals, you can repair relationships with people from your life on Earth. You can do whatever you want, for as long as you want. But after that, you go into the great unknown, and are finally, fully, at rest. We even see a hint of what these souls do when they're at rest - they linger within humanity, inspiring people to do better, to be better, thus continuing the cycle.

How... perfect. It's an afterlife built around the thought that effort is important. That trying is what really matters. We see all of the different ways it can manifest. We see that some people take forever, we see a snippet of Brent still trying to learn and grow but not there yet... but other characters, like Tahani's sister and parents, eventually do improve and heal through the program, and get to have a meaningful reconciliation, their family complete at last.

And then there's the paradise part, where we see different goals and dreams coming to life. Tahani spends her afterlife in self-improvement, learning new skills. I like that she doesn't have a shoe-horned romance, and that hers is a life that is fulfilled without the necessity of a single life/afterlife companion. And she doesn't go into that great beyond. We don't get to learn Tahani's "ultimate" fate. She becomes an Architect and spends at least a part of her eternity helping other people to improve, thus fulfilling the purpose she pretended to have on Earth. I like that her story feels unfinished, in a way. Maybe someday she goes through the final door. Maybe she doesn't. It's okay that we don't know.

Jason plays a perfect game of Madden, he gets to hang out with his dad and the rest of his dance crew, he gets to have a meaningful and loving relationship with Janet. And then, after letting his thoughts go blank and spending several Jeremy Bearimys alone with his thoughts (like a monk), he goes through the final doorway, off to bring encouragement to some soul back on Earth.

I loved the fake-out, where Jason is the first to leave, but then it turns out he hung around to give Janet the necklace he made for her. He was ready to leave, but he also didn't mind sticking around. Eternity means there's no harm in waiting. And it was such a fun callback for him to achieve the spiritual peace of being a monk, when that was a part of his deception and fear during season one.

Chidi's section of the episode is the part that made me bawl. See, the thing is, this show never really gave me "feels" about the characters in the way that other shows do... but that's because it gave me more... conceptual feels. I loved watching... love happen on the screen in front of me, more so than I was invested in the specifics of Chidi and Eleanor's romance. But this - the very concept of this - Chidi being ready to move on, but sticking around for Eleanor. Eleanor selfishly holding on to that love, and then learning that she owes it to Chidi to let go. And then... Chidi sharing with Eleanor a Buddhist idea of death - that life is like a wave, and death is returning to the ocean. The wave was just... a different way for the water to be, for a while.

God, I don't know what it was, but that thought... it soothed something in me. It touched me, spiritually, because of the journey we've watched these characters go on for so long. They got to have as much of an eternity as they wanted. They got to be fulfilled in every way that they wanted to be, and then they got to return to the ocean, from whence they came.

I'm also obsessed with Michael's ending. He begins to feel unfulfilled as an Architect, and so the next logical step is for him to become a human, and go through the system like anyone else. I particularly loved that Eleanor pointed out to him that there's no guarantee - the system has been working, but what if Shawn changes it? What if something goes wrong? Michael has to make that leap of faith, and as he reminds Eleanor, the very fact of his unknowing is an essential part of being human. We see him living his life on Earth. Good days, bad days, days in between. And we don't get to watch him live out the remainder of his life, die, go through the system, get his eternity, and walk through the final door. But we can have faith that that's what happens, and that faith is enough.

Janet isn't a human, and she doesn't want to be a human, so we've got another ambiguous/unfulfilled ending with her. I like the moment early on, when she talks about how she experiences time differently from humans. For her, she's everywhere and every time at once. So there's not really any tragedy to the thought of her existing on in perpetuity, befriending and existing among humans forever more. She formed really meaningful bonds with Jason and the others in the Soul Squad, so she'll do it again. She'll grow and love and continue to be not a girl, not a robot. It's lovely.

Sometimes show finales can feel like curtain calls, and this episode certainly had a lot of guest appearances from characters we've gotten to know over the years. Each one felt intentional and worthy of inclusion. I loved seeing Simone again, and John, albeit briefly. I loved seeing Mindy, and knowing that she too goes through the process for self-improvement. Her parallels with Eleanor helped to show how much our protagonist has grown as well. Derek was hilarious. Tahani's family was great. We got mentions of Eleanor and Chidi's mothers, too. Vicky was there. The Judge. Shawn. The list goes on.

And then Eleanor. Her journey is so stunning. There's something so relatable about the fact that she's the last to be ready to move on. And that she's not sure what she needs to do to feel fulfilled. I... felt that. I understood it on some deep level. It meant so much to me that Eleanor's fulfillment wasn't any one thing, any more than Tahani's or Chidi's. Living an eternity with Chidi wasn't it. Helping Mindy wasn't it. Helping Michael... that was the thing that finally tipped it for her, but it wasn't just that alone. It was a combination of all of those things.

I loved this finale so very much. It was powerful in a way I don't know how to describe. I've often found that finales of TV shows can either be astoundingly good, or incredibly disappointing. They are very rarely somewhere in the middle. This one was astoundingly good, and I'm so happy.

10/10

I have to review this show as a whole. Sure, I can think of things I would have changed, ways it could have been stronger, more exactly my own cup of tea. I could have used more queer representation. I could have used less memory wipes and re-sets in seasons two and three. But these things don't change the fact that this show had a very clear message. A very powerful philosophy. And it made a very persuasive argument for the ideas it espoused. I want the world to work like this. I want humanity to work like this. I want people to have the chance to grow, and change, and I want to acknowledge that it's not always easy, that it often involves a lot of time, and that it requires help from others. I'm so happy I watched this show. I'll definitely be recommending it to people for a very long time.

My over-all rating is...

9.5/10

#review #the good place #the good place review #good place #good place review #tgp #the good place finale

[cowonaverse]

The Great Outdoors

Been thinking about this for a while, needed to process what’s happened.

Initially, like months ago when corona first reared up as a Thing to Contend With - the fear and panic was so strong that it pushed aside my depression and background anxiety completely.  I had something very tangible and concrete to Worry About.  Not only that, there was so much unknown that it seemed conceivably cataclysmic, like... it’s all over and done.  That is still in the mix of possibilities, but it’s much more of a mix these days and not so prominent a conclusion.  But still there.  

Anyway, in a home with another person freaking out who isn’t used to freaking out means managing his reactions first.  Securing the food supply seemed primary.  Starting to grow things at home seemed Important.  What I understand is that this is just seeking agency and control in a time of chaos.  But gestures matter, even to myself.  I am not afraid to do for myself if needed.  I grew up on my Grandma’s farm as a young teen.  I spent a summer as an intern preparing and maintaining bean cultivars for study at Tuskegee University.  I majored in Biology as an undergraduate at the University of Maryland Baltimore County.  I have graduate training within a laboratory setting and can pay attention to such needed details that establish and maintain living systems.

This is what I told myself, at least.  All this experience was well over 25 years ago and I’ve since lived as an artist, teacher and illustrator - basically another lifetime.  But I’m confident in my abilities to make - and make do - with my hands.  On the other hand, Saul is an architect.   He is a designer, not an implementer.   His training produces systems that others then render.  He knows how things should work and why things might fail, but it’s mediated through contractors and clients, and according to building code given to him.  There isn’t much tolerance for the scientific method of inquiry and curiosity, or artistic process.  The buildings have to stand and function, the first time, and every time.

So when confronted with chaos and systemic failures, Saul freaks out.  He was having regular, full-on panic attacks at first.  We fought and argued out of fear and then came back together, clinging again out that same fear.  

What I first recalled was my seventh grade science class, when we germinated beans in damp folded paper towels and then grew them to demonstrate basic botanical processes.  I suggested we go through the house for all whole seeds and try this to see what we can grow ourselves.  In retrospect, this is ludicrous.  Farming a few things from the spice rack is not going to sustain anybody, not to mention a household of two people and three cats.

But you have to recall the upheaval and urgency of those first few days.  Hunkering down and keeping busy with anything that seemed to suggest growth and tomorrow was vital, at least to me.  In some ways it was a relief to have to set aside my own neurotic issues to attend to these little mustard seeds and my partner and my cats.  And as the project grew and developed, this was the initial reward: Doing Something Intentional Towards Tomorrow was useful because it modelled the behavior of resilience and hope.  Even if it wasn’t actually practical, it was a rehearsal for a worldview concerned with survival.

I was still teaching students via online classes and it was useful to tell them what we were doing.  The narrative of growing things in the back bedroom was a good story, for the moment - for that very specific moment.

In the end, now, months later: we are participating in a local farm share with actual farmers who know what they are actually doing to produce actual food.  But by now I’ve learned to can and pickle and preserve things, I can bake and sew my own mask.  Here’s the thing: I dabbled in using my art to address my anxieties and it led me to gaining some small set of skills in a variety of projects.  Skills that now I can use For Real.  But what was always in question was who is it all for.  

What I’ve noticed, at least with Saul, is that he doesn’t initiate and get his hands dirty.  But.  Only at first, once I model behavior and demonstrate that there can be a pattern at work, a way of doing and understanding - then he is able to apply his considerable experience with systems and practicality to get it done right and better.  He saw me making and painting, fumbling around with my works and insights.  Then he tried it, made a body of work, participated in open studios, sold some pieces and was able to articulate his artistry in his own words.  I helped him with that, at first directly, then backing off and continuing on my own things but visibly now with him as a peer.

I started growing things and he looked at me doing that, saw it was possible and started doing it himself.  His plants are thriving and doing much, much better than mine.  I helped him with that when he finally wanted to try, he hasn’t done anything like this before in his life.  My earliest memory is reaching out to eat a cherry tomato in the community garden my parents participated in.  We talked about this while working together to sow some radishes he wants to grow. He said he thought he didn’t have a “green thumb” and avoided trying to grow anything.  His radishes are already out of the ground and happily thriving while mine have long since died off.

I have my accomplishments, but I have just as many failures.  I’m trying to be self-aware about what I’m doing and get help and training as I can.  It does help me feel better, day to day - but what I’m seeing is that it is helping Saul feel like he can do it too.  And when he does, he is actually really good at it.  He saw me sewing my fursuit and trying to apply that understanding to sewing my mask for covid.  A few weeks later, I’m helping him make them and his designs are better and neater and fit.  But I sat with him to go over the different options and we looked at the scientific papers about materials and filters and what covid is and how it works and what a filter is and how they work.  Like, we dug for the primary research.  He wouldn’t think to do that, but I’m not afraid of scientific papers and untangling technical things like that.  But he took all that understanding and made a better system of implementation than what I was able to do.  His masks are the ones we use, mine is an interesting sculptural piece and memento of this time.

My efforts to bake and can things worked at first, but the real success is that it prompted him to get involved and do it better.  What I made in the beginning functioned symbolically as self-sustaining, forward looking effort.  What he is doing now puts actual calories into the body better.

We fight over nuance that doesn’t matter, but the broad rhythm of collaboration has been that I do it first: I show that it’s possible which addresses his fear and pessimism, but then he gains confidence and does it better which addresses my impracticality and romanticism.

I am reminded of what I know to be the great biological divide between human beings: those able to tolerate ambiguity and those who can’t.  This is more fundamental than any other means of sorting and categorizing people.  Certain people have brains that light up for clarity and some light up for vagary.

This is the tension between staying in the cave and leaving the cave.  Speaking in prehistoric terms, the basic tension the human animal first knows upon becoming self-aware is how to deal with it’s own mortality.  Staying in the cave is the known quantity: it’s safe because there are no surprises, all issues are obvious and manageable and contained.  The problem of course is that the cave doesn’t have all the things you need to thrive.  Leaving the cave is the unknown quanity: it’s safe because you can be nimble and adjust freely, taking advantage of chance resources and opportunity.  The problem of course is that outside the cave are predators and dangers and the whole chaotic universe out to kill you.

My first inclination to grow food inside the house was basically Chris falling back to staying in the cave.  But as it turns out, plants still fail, the cat still gets in and trashes the crops, not enough light gets in, seeds are limited, resources run out, all manner of chaos still creeps in and undermines the effort.  So many stories have already been told about this.  Eden does not work, the perfect bubble world does not work.  The Island of Dr. Moreau is a horror story.  It is not particularly insightful for me to realize that locking things down to a controlled interior system is impossible or festering and that some tolerance for calamity has to happen for life to thrive.  I was worried about the New England weather wrecking things outside, but our radiator kicking on too high did the same thing.  I was worried about squirrels getting at our food, but our cat did the same.  I’m worried about advertising resources in a racist malignant society during the end times of social collapse and mass hunger, but our neighbors are also properly growing crops in their backyard as are many other houses on our street (and have for years), and our home is right up against an elementary school that also has a happy garden in view from our kitchen.

I was worried so much about the chaos outside that I was blind to the obvious truth that there is chaos inside as well.  The point is that it’s all part of the same messy thing.  Inside the cave and outside the cave are the same.  There is no inside or outside, and that is the point.  At least outside, the plants can get much more sun and so can I, the rain and weather are cooperating.  I had to learn that I don’t actually grow anything, the plants grow themselves, I just have to witness and shepherd that activity, but it’s already gonna do what it needs to do if I let it.

So much about art making seems to be about demonstrating control: over technique, over materials or concept, over a viewer or critic, over a political narrative.  But once you exhaust the resources in the cave, you have to go out and risk and be surprised and find new caves and new vistas and so on.  And it’s not because you know you’ll be safe, but because that is never possible to know.  What I’m learning is to go with another and to sincerely make that effort important and sufficiently rewarding itself.

It is just nicer now outside on the back porch.  The plants that were struggling inside are all booming now.  The wind is nice.  Seeing Saul’s plants pop up and surpass mine are nice.  It’s heading into summer and everything is warm and radiant.  I can hear sirens in the distance and the news is still the news and autumn and winter are right there on calendar, but I’m making my art, learning as I go.  I’m also aware that I’m not unique in any of this, other people have been doing this exact stuff and that’s comforting when I need to feel aligned with others and social.  When I need to look into myself and address my particular quirks I can do that too.  

 The food is better these days.  

#green county

[addictedtostorytelling]

Hello ! I just saw your reblog of a daredevil gif and, do you have an head canon on wether or not Matt and Karen would have been back together and how , if the show had been renewed ? Thx !

hey, anon!

i will admit that few things in television baffle me as much as the way the defendersverse powers that be approach romantic pairings.

don’t get me wrong: i generally like the love stories told in this fictional universe. 

i just also don’t know exactly what to make of them.

usually, even without possessing any foreknowledge as to how each individual ship will pan out, i can still be relatively certain as to whether or not a given story world “believes in great loves.” 

but with the defendersverse, i’m not quite sure. 

that so, my short answer here is: i don’t know whether or not karedevil would have gotten back together, had daredevil been renewed. on the one hand, i feel like they were kind of set up to be endgame from the beginning. but on the other hand, i feel like as the wider defendersverse developed, there were also other viable options introduced for the both of them. 

ultimately, i think it would have come down to how the powers that be conceived of the story universe overall—and whether they were interested in telling structured, trope-compliant love stories or not.

more discussion if you click the “keep reading.”

___________ 

a big part of my uncertainty regarding how the defendersverse treats romances stems from the fact that its shows end mid-story, skewing my perspective of what’s there. 

none of the shows has more than three seasons to their names, and all were cancelled abruptly, without really affording the writers a chance to implement final conclusions. they all suffer for having loose strings, never to be tied.

consequently, it’s hard to tell which broken-up ships of the defendersverse were actually broken-up for good and which ones were just at a midgame impasse and might have later reconciled, had they only been given more time and narrative space in which to do so. 

however, another obstacle to making this determination is not in the circumstances but in the storytelling itself, as the defendersverse powers that be tended to be fairly indiscriminate in how they used romantic devices surrounding their ships, which means that a lot of the usual “midgame” vs. “endgame” signposts in this story world are blurred. 

in the first seasons of both dd and jj, the defendersverse powers create deep and compelling romantic relationships for their respective main characters, playing to all kinds of familiar “this relationship has long-term significance” tropes.

you want the jaded female superhero who’s given up on both love and the world, who then meets a guy who’s both so good and so good for her that she has to reevaluate her priorities? check.  

you want the male superhero who rescues the girl-next-door in body, only to have her rescue him in soul? check again.

there’s all sorts of smiles, talk of “before you, i never allowed myself to think about this kind of stuff,” heartfelt sacrifices, expressed vulnerabilities, etc., etc., etc.

in a story world that “believed in great loves,” no one who watched these seasons could be faulted for thinking that jessica jones would be endgame with luke cage and that matt murdock would be endgame with karen page.

the question, however, is, “is the defendersverse actually a story world that believes in great loves?”

in my mind, the evidence is ambiguous.

at most, the defendersverse powers only allow these relationships to progress for one or two seasons before dismantling them—but whether they mean to dismantle them temporarily or permanently is difficult to say.

the characters lead such complicated, dangerous, and ethically fraught existences that whatever happiness they experience in love is generally and perhaps unavoidably short-lived. 

as secret identities are revealed, moral stances compromised, trauma experienced and assessed, and heroic stakes raised, their relationships inevitably crumble under the pressure.

this crumbling could perhaps speak to this fictional universe being one in which all loves come with an expiration date printed on them, with none being given special narrative priority over any of the others.

however, the crumbling could also be a story component.

maybe the writers planned these breakups, knowing full-well they were temporary and that eventually the couples would get back together in the long term. maybe they’re just a midgame detour en route to the final endgame.

so cut to the next leg in defendersverse development, when tptb reshuffle the pairings between their main properties, sending character a from show 1 to be with character b from show 2. the process then continues and multiplies as more properties are added to the ‘verse, with characters spinning off into new shows and coupling in new and increasingly intricate permutations with one another.

of course, the truly interesting thing is that once these reshufflings take place, the new relationships created often prove just as deep and compelling as the relationships which preceded them and are marked by just as many typical endgame signposts.

matt murdock is willing to die for elektra and very nearly does so.

karen page repeatedly throws caution to the wind to choose frank castle over public opinion, common sense, and even her own well-being.

there are indicators to suggest that these new pairings could be endgame, just as there were with the ones before them. there’s deep connection. there’s ride-or-die stuff. there’s cuteness. there’s even potentially destiny. 

so, as a trope-savvy fan, one is left thinking, “well, okay, if the first pairing wasn’t endgame, then maybe the second one will be,” but then by the next season, the second pairing has often been dismantled much in the same way that the first one was previously.

a salient example here would be claire temple’s various relationships: in s1 of dd, her involvement with matt murdock ends because his vigilantism and masochism drives a wedge between them. after their falling out, she eventually starts dating luke cage. while she and luke are devoted to each other through much of lc s1 and the defenders miniseries, their relationship crumbles at the end of lc s2, when luke’s attitude toward “justice” prompts claire to ask him for “a break.” her second relationship within the defendersverse thus ends much in the same way that her first one did: with claire stepping back from her man because she finds his intense approach to heroism unhealthy.  

by the point of cancellation, the net effect is that because all of these relationships have in some ways been treated as “sacred,” none of them feels sacred overall, or at least not definitively. 

i can’t really look at them and say, “karedevil is the endgame; mattlektra is the midgame”—and especially not when elektra keeps miraculously resurrecting after she’s killed—because both ships have been set up in ways which suggest lasting significance.

i also can’t look to the comics as a cheat sheet, because while most of the relationships depicted in the defendersverse do have some basis in comic lore, the shows themselves don’t strictly adhere to that canon—and, in some cases, actively go against it.

in the new avengers comics, jessica jones and luke cage get married and have a daughter, but in the defendersverse, their relationship is pretty thoroughly trashed in the aftermath of jj s1.

still, where things get truly complicated is in the way that these various relationships interact with one another within the wider defendersverse.

if luke cage is jessica jones’s great love, but he is also claire temple’s great love, then someone is bound to lose out, right? and since the audience should in theory be sympathetic to all three characters, who are we supposed to be rooting for? likewise, if matt murdock ends up with karen page, then she can’t be with frank castle, you know? so does that mean matt has to be with elektra? but what if elektra dies (and for once stays dead)? then what?

the writers are playing “musical chairs” with their ships, but, as per the game, it would seem that someone is going to be left standing at the end.

so.

all of this discussion is a very long way for me to say that i genuinely have no idea what the defendersverse powers intended for romantic karedevil.

they are initially set up using many of the same tropes and storytelling techniques that would be used for an endgame pairing—but that framing only matters if the defendersverse is one where “endgame” is actually a legitimate thing that the writers are actively working toward.

it could be that matt and karen were meant to be a slow burn endgame, but the writers got cut-off midway through telling their story, before they could be romantically reconciled after their midgame falling out.

however, it could also be that, whether they were initially interested in creating a karedevil endgame or not, by s3 of dd, the writers had moved on from the possibility of romantic karedevil altogether, being more enticed to pair karen off with frank due to deborah ann woll’s unexpectedly good chemistry with jon bernthal.

of course, maybe endgame karedevil was never even on the table at all, either because it was always meant to be a midgame ship OR because this isn’t a fictional universe that is geared toward endgames, period.

“endgame” is a concept somewhat antithetical to how comic books work, as there’s always going to be another iteration and another series and another run, and the details will change, depending on who’s doing the writing and which universe the story takes place in; maybe the defendersverse was working on a similar model, where while matt murdock has history with many women, including claire temple, karen page, and elektra, he’ll never be tied one woman forever; his love life will always be a revolving door, depending on what suits the purposes of the story.

or maybe nothing had been decided yet, one way or another.

maybe the powers were more writing from season to season, keeping their options open, seeing what was available to them.

after all, there were a lot of moving parts in play across the wider ‘verse. 

who’s to say what might have happened had some of the defenders shows been cancelled but not others? who’s to say what might have happened due to the changing availability of various actors?

prior to the cancellations, rosario dawson had decided to step down from playing claire, a decision which would have undoubtedly sent ripples across the entire defendersverse, romance-wise.

up until the point when netflix pulled the plug, all sorts of possibilities were still open. there were still so many ways the writers could have chosen to swing things.

as for my personal headcanon (regardless of writer intention or what might have been), i should preface my thoughts by saying that while i enjoy karedevil, they’re not my number #1 preferred ship for either matt or karen, so i would have been perfectly happy with them as a midgame romantic ship that eventually reverted back to a platonic baseline, as per the end of dd s3.

that said, i can definitely see a road that leads to them getting together in the end.

my thoughts are these:

by the end of dd s3, matt and karen are back to being friends again after having been “fallen out” for a long time. since s2, karen has known matt’s secret identity, but now matt likewise knows about karen’s past, meaning that, in a way, the playing field is level between them.

still, their relationship is somewhat fragile. 

for the first time in their history, they’ve been honest with each other, and now neither one of them can “hide” in the ways that they used to. they’re both highly aware of this new vulnerability, and neither one of them wants to screw things up. they’re still sussing out what it will mean for them to work together again.

they don’t want to leave foggy caught in the middle of things like before.

so with that in mind, i see their romantic reconciliation as a slow burn process.

of course, they’ve always had a palpable connection, and that connection would be there from the start, even when they were working hard at “just being friends.” 

gradually, that connection would grow stronger and more impossible to ignore. 

there would be moments when they were working late nights together (after foggy had gone home to marci) when they’d stumble on a lead in their case and start talking excitedly, finishing each other’s thoughts, drawing closer and closer together, until suddenly they realized that there was only an inch of space between their faces and had to pull back, awkward and businesslike once more.

there’d be times when their clients would mistake them for a couple, and they’d laugh and try to brush it off but both be blushing too much to truly convince anyone that they were unaffected by the suggestion.

eventually, they’d start testing the waters—matt purposefully saying flirtatious things, karen touching matt more than she had reason to.

at some point, they’d have to broach the subject.

maybe matt would have taken to walking karen home after work, and one night, after a lot of laughter and arm-holding, she’d stop on the top stair and turn back to him and say, in that breathless, incisive way of hers, “i know you can hear how fast my heart is beating. is yours beating fast, too?” 

but, of course, since their relationship doesn’t exist in a vacuum, matt would probably be on the trail of bullseye or some other villain by this point, and, inevitably, these other story factors would come into play. 

i don’t know exactly how everything would go down, but my sense as a storyteller is that something would have to impede karedevil’s relationship; the path to reconciliation would, by necessity, have to be a long and wending one for them.

maybe for whatever reason they’d decide not to risk their friendship by pursuing a romance.

or maybe they would pursue a romance, only to have that relationship endangered by whatever villain they’re up against OR to have some of their past interpersonal issues resurface.

(for example, maybe as matt gets deeper and deeper into whatever case he’s working, he starts to emotionally shut karen out again, or maybe karen starts to distrust matt because he’s being evasive; etc.)

hell, maybe elektra turns up in hell’s kitchen, flipping their dynamic on its head.

after all, elektra’s body was never found after the destruction of midland circle, and karen has never gotten to talk to matt about finding elektra in his bed in s2; the potential for angst would be huge.

in any case, i imagine that things would deteriorate for a while—maybe to the point where, if they were already together, karedevil might once again break up.

but, ultimately, something would happen that would remind them of the depth of their feelings for each other—one of them would be hurt or captured or undergo another near-death experience; matt might end up fighting elektra to save karen; or karen might do something to help matt, even though they’d been on shaky ground before.

i don’t think karen would ever make matt give daredevil up completely—because she understands his thirst for justice and even his recklessness, to some degree, and she doesn’t begrudge him those parts of himself—but i think that in the end, matt would have to change; he’d have to become less self-loathing and not compartmentalize his feelings to the extent he always had before. he’d have to start to care more about his own life and well-being than he had in the past so that karen didn’t have to worry about him committing passive suicide via superherodom.

dying for a cause is one thing; dying just because you can and because you don’t value your own life enough to take self preserving actions is another.

karen would also have to learn to trust that matt and not to hide things from him. she’d have to learn to be truly emotionally intimate with him, which would be difficult for her at first, considering that she’s spent her whole adult life holding back important parts of her person.

(one of the interesting things about karedevil is that even though they have this deep, implicit understanding of each other, for most of their relationship, they’ve not really known each other, as both of them have been hiding significant secrets.)

i can see an endgame for them where matt is daredevil with karen’s help and blessing, and she provides him grounding and solace, while he proves to her that, despite her prior experiences, not everyone in her life is going to reject her and send her away; he knows her, and he knows her past, and he’s staying for as long as she wants him.

of course, in all fairness, i can also see many endings for these characters that don’t involve them being in a romantic relationship with each other; this is just one of the possibilities.

anyway,sorry i can’t give a more definitive answer, anon! thanks for the question.

#answered #anon #** #let's talk shop #my meta #meta: daredevil #daredevil #matt murdock #karen page #asks: daredevil

[rankakiu]

Thoughts of the Droid: Joker (2019)

Hello people from Tumblr! How have they been in all this time? As always, I hope very well. I will begin by saying that it was really in my plans to see the film of It: Chapter II; however, due to various circumstances, I could not see in the cinema. However, I compensated, watching another movie that shares a feature with It: both films have a clown as a great antagonist. Only the latter is more disturbing, since it does not need an extra dimensional being, but a human disguised as a clown, which in itself is more disturbing. On this occasion I bring to you all my impressions and opinions of the Joker movie, the second film that Warner and DC have released this year and which (obviously) has a plausible origin for the villain and nemesis par excellence of Batman.

Could it be that this movie continues with the hit streak of DC and Warner? Or is it a movie that had a very high expectation and ends up disappointing own and strangers? Stay in my review to find out.

WARNING: NOT SPOILER-FREE. Read at your own risk.

To start, what did I think of the movie? Short answer: simply magnificent and fascinating. Now let's go into the review in more detail. 

Characters: What to say about this thing? Each of the characters has been thought carefully and although we do not see much of them, at least they fulfill very well their function of being support characters and even some of them serve as a catalyst to further explore the mind of our protagonist. None of these characters will leave you indifferent and also make the movie a more pleasant experience, due to their good performances.

Of course, I could not ignore our protagonist, Arthur Fleck, played by the great Joaquin Phoenix, who once again consolidates himself as an actor of excellent quality, in addition to demonstrating his talent to his full potential.

In this movie, he interprets (as I mentioned lines above) a man in his forties named Arthur Fleck, a poor unhappy man and that life does not treat him at all well. To top it off, he suffers from a peculiar disorder: he laughs uncontrollably when he suffers certain levels of stress and / or anguish. Basically, when he laughs, it is when he ironicly manifests his pain and suffering. And certainly, in the scenes where he laughs that way, it is where Phoenix's acting quality is most noticeable, since while he laughs, his face is disfigured in gestures of extreme bitterness and pain.

If there is something that the film does quite well, it is to explore the tormented psychology of the character, while offering a possible origin and reason why it became the iconic “crime clown” of Gothic City. Throughout the film, we see him resisting as much as he can the attacks and ill-treatment he suffers from a society that cannot and does not want to understand him; we see him slowly succumb to his madness and dark desires, pushed more than anything for days full of disappointment, bitterness and disinterest on the part of his fellow men. Thus, the film knows how to balance these two aspects that manage to give the character its own mythology, while paying a well-deserved tribute by taking certain elements of comics and stories that are already legendary in their own right.

Story: A story, which despite a somewhat slow pace, manages to keep the viewer's interest for about two hours. And it is not for less, since the history has been meticulously planned and well conceived and carried out. It's a story that doesn't bore you at all, and that really leaves you wanting more. It's funny, since, even long before the trailers, we all knew in advance that it would be a story of the character's origin, so we knew that eventually Arthur Fleck would become the Joker. What really left us intrigued and made us go to the movie theaters was the premise of seeing how he became the clown of crime, whose motives he had to let himself be carried away by his madness and had such a unique metamorphosis. Again, the film tells that story precisely and brutally.

And how to start a story with so much potential? Simple, through a scene, where we see Arthur make up as a clown to go out on another work day and while preparing, we see our protagonist break emotionally for a few moments, where he forces himself to smile and while he smiles he spills a Treacherous tear, shows palpable suffering that has to deal with daily and somehow manages to resist almost heroically. But reality and life constantly inflict wounds on his being.

Throughout history we see many evidence of this: we have that, while Arthur does his job, a band of brats steal a sign and Arthur pleadingly asks people for help, who ignores him in that dehumanized way and not according to that, the same band of brats beat him up.

Or how about the scene where one of his co-workers, Randall, gives him a gun so carelessly and that he lost his job - that despite everything, he loved - and his partner decided to wash his hands , before admitting his mistake?

We also have the case in which Arthur fervently tries to fulfill his dream of being a comedian and unfortunately not only does not succeed, but also Murray Franklin, his idol and role model openly mocks him.

But without a doubt, the hardest blow he suffered was when he learned that everything, ALL OF HIS LIFE, until now had been a lie. Finding out that he was adopted only to satisfy a narcissistic desire of his adoptive mother, that his own guardian allowed him to be abused in various ways and that his origin is completely uncertain create an emotional dent in him, since it has been given realize that his life - in his own words - has been a joke in its entirety. In my opinion, this is one of the most emotional and heartbreaking scenes of the film, since that is where we see Arthur laugh more uncontrollably than ever, while shedding tears and his gesture is of such extreme disappointment and pain, that one as a spectator, you can feel a total empathy with the character, despite knowing that he will become a murderous villain.

Another scene to highlight in the story, is when Arthur, already become the Joker, is featured in the show of his now former idol Murray. That is where The Joker, stopping to read for a few seconds a thought he wrote long ago ("I just hope my death makes more sense than my life"), is that he finally decides what he wants to do and what being he wants to become .

And is that previous scenes, Arthur is seen rehearsing his entrance and his act to the show, where we clearly see that he aimed to commit suicide in order to end his life so tragic.

In my opinion, when he reads those lines of his thought, he changes his mind and decides that he will now be forcefully heard and will do what he pleases and brings his own happiness and control of his life. It is also in this scene where there is a monologue that seems quite interesting to me, since Arthur rants against society that abandons not only the patients with mental disorders, but also the poor and the most needy people. It is, in its purest sense, a passionate speech, full of anger and resentment against society that, unconsciously, led him to become an executioner, now free from the bonds and ideas of good and bad with what society intended to retain him. And now the executioner intends to torture this society, which ironically now cries out for mercy when never had it in the first place with a human being like him.

Also in this scene is where the Joker gives another equally interesting speech, and it is that to some extent he is right in describing society as easily manipulable, since in his own words, that society was shocked by the death of the three Wayne business employees, without even knowing how they really were. Recall that behind the scenes, the three subjects were behaving like real patanes, harassing an innocent woman. In part, their deaths are brutal and to some extent an exaggerated punishment. But this must also be considered: at what point would these three have reached if Arthur had not been present? What limits would have been exceeded? An interesting reflection that gives a lot to think about.

Another point in favor of history, is that it not only focuses on the psychology and evolution of the main villain, but also manages to sustain, showing a dark side of society and especially the eternal struggle of social classes, especially The poor against the rich. Just remember that in the movie, these social classes make their position very clear: the rich condemn the crimes that they have done against them. The poor are full of joy for those acts that they consider pure and expeditious justice.

But…

Did it really happen everything that defined Arthur as the Joker?

Because in fact, in the same movie (and in various theories hanging around the internet) there are several clues that would confirm that the whole story we witnessed as spectators would be false. Some say that all their history is false and others maintain that only parts of it. And one might think that that little detail ruins the movie completely.

In this case, I would not think so.

And it is because of how the character is designed from the beginning. Basically the Joker is one of those characters who, as long as we knows less about his past, is much better, since it is part of his essence, being an entity of chaos whose origin is enigmatic and mysterious, a whole unknown. And if in truth his whole story is ambiguous or it didn't happen the way him told us, his past doesn't matter. What matters is precisely that we have been shown how his madness dragged him into becoming a criminal.

The story definitely gives a lot of fabric to cut from and is very worthy of analysis in many facets. The story, along with the characters - especially the protagonist - is the best of the film, and therefore it is a film that has no waste of seeing again and again.

Action and Visuals and special effects: Well ... where to start? Because if you ask me, I doubt that this film has been a great edition of special effects. I do not deny that I have one or another, but most of all the film is beautifully guided with the environments, the color palette and lights and especially a great script, so it is not necessary great effects. As for the action, the film has good sequences but they are very scarce and when they occur they are usually ephemeral. But do the film need action? Of course not, since it focuses on the character and his circumstances.

In conclusion, Joker, is a film very worth seeing and that has already become one of the best DC films, showing that in truth, when they want, they can achieve these wonderful results and that even overshadow their eternal rival Marvel. Therefore, I give this movie 4.5 out of 5 jokers. Beyond that, this film presents a new scheme that, if exploited in a good way, will create a genre in the superhero films: supervillain movies. And that is one of the greatest achievements of the film.

Definitely a highly recommended movie to watch and a very deserved achievement for DC and Warner. Hopefully they stay on this good path.

Greetings

Rankakiu

#joker #joker 2019 #joker movie #joker joaquin phoenix #batman #joaquin phoenix #robert de niro #zazie beetz #frances conroy #brett cullen #todd phillips #dc comics #dc extended universe #dceu #dceuforever #dceu positivity #thoughts #opinions #review #movie review #thoughts of the droid #rankakiu

[aibidil]

Betaing 101

So it’s not as if I’m an expert beta, but my experience as a beta in fandom is slightly different than most people’s because I’ve done copyediting professionally. Because of that, I’ve read books on editing and taken editing courses, etc. So! I’m going to give what I think is some useful insight and then, under the break, an excerpt from one of my books. Compiling this has been a good reminder of a lot of things for me, so I hope others can gather something useful here. This is just my take, ymmv, etc etc.

When you agree to beta something for someone new, ask them what kind of feedback they’re looking for. Leave it open-ended so you can hear what they think of first. Some authors will immediately say, “SPaG, please, for the love of god!” and others will say, “There shouldn’t be much SPaG but I really think the pacing is off halfway through, can you help with that? And I’m wondering about the character arc here?” Use this to guide how you approach the task.

If they haven’t already answered this, ask, “Do you want to know if I have any thoughts or concerns about plot or character?” I’ve never had an author say no to this, but you’ve gotta get on the same page. This is trickier in fandom than in other editing, because in fandom we all have strong opinions about the characters we’re editing. (This doesn’t really happen if you’re editing original fiction.) But I’ve had betas comment, “Feel free to ignore this, but would Harry actually do this?” And as an author, I value that feedback, because in fic, writers and readers work within shared character understandings. Of course, I might disagree with my beta in the end. But if I’ve touched on something that is a point of contention in fan circles, I’d rather be aware of it before publishing (or avoid the issue altogether by cutting it, depending on how integral the point is). But that sort of conversation can only happen if you know the author is open to it.

Don’t rewrite an author’s sentence simply because it is not the sentence you would’ve written. This can be harder than it sounds. It simply isn’t your job. Save it for your own writing, or for when a friend asks for help fixing a sentence giving them trouble. The author’s sentence is clear, correct, and serviceable, but you hate it? Grit your teeth and move on. 

In general, if a sentence isn’t grammatical and there’s no simple fix so it needs to be restructured, don’t make the change yourself in tracked changes, but make a comment that does the following: explains the problem and offers one or two possible solutions. Sometimes this comes up because of misplaced modifiers or vague pronoun references, and I know how I would fix it if I were the author, but that’s not the beta’s job. I can give them an example of a way to fix the grammatical issue, and then they can decide how to implement it in their voice.

Do your best to differentiate between comments/changes that are necessary for grammar/syntax and those that are stylistic preferences. Grammarians disagree about all sorts of things. If you’re copyediting in the real world, your job isn’t to find The Absolute Correct Thing, because that often doesn’t exist! Your job is to make the manuscript conform to a style guide, and it’s the style guide’s job to make decisions. (Even then, style guides often leave things open to discretion. Commas, for example, are much more discretionary than one might realize.) So, from the perspective of an author, it’s helpful to know: is the beta making a suggestion that you can feel free to ignore, or is the beta identifying a concrete flaw that needs fixing? I’m not sure there’s a best way to do this, but in google docs it’s possible to comment on a tracked change. So if I think a change needs explaining, I might throw a quick comment there. I might comment, “Moving this here because otherwise it’s a dangling modifier,” or “Feel free to ignore but this flows better to me?” This helps authors navigate your feedback. (As a sub-point here, if you see your author doing something that commonly appears on lists of “OH MY GOD WHY DO AUTHORS KEEP SAYING THIS?!” you can comment with something like: “Just wanted to flag this because I know a lot of readers say they get thrown out of the story when the author uses [‘epithets like the taller man’, ‘tongues battling for dominance’, etc.], but it’s up to you!”)

Speaking of style guides, your fandom might sort of have one? Often the fandom wikia is a good source for correct spellings and capitalizations. In the Harry Potter fandom, I consider Potterwords to be the style guide, and I make manuscripts conform to the conventions listed there. This is where I check for hyphenation (did you know it’s pure-blood not pureblood?), capitalization (it’s Muggle and Squib but witch and wizard), italicization (Summoning Charm but Accio), etc.

Always ask your author if they’re using the Oxford comma. This avoids fistfights. Likewise, ask them if they want you to Britpick. (Or Ameripick, or whatever.)

If you start reading and notice an issue that recurs throughout the fic, shoot the author a message and ask how they want you to proceed. It’s always better to ask. “Hey, I noticed a bunch of sentences that have extra words I could cut, do you want me to do that? [Example.]” or “Howdy mate, I noticed you have a lot of was -ing constructions—do you want me to change those or flag them or anything?” or “I noticed a few spots that seem slow, do you want me to point those out?”

Comment on the things you love. Comment on the things you love. There isn’t an author who won’t want to hear it. If something makes you happy or gives you feels or makes you keysmash, tell them! This serves at least three purposes: it makes your author happy, it tempers the author experience of getting back corrections (which can be overwhelming), and it gives the author feedback of reader reaction. If the author knows their beta squealed at a particular part, they will know for sure not to cut it or change it. :)

Be nice. This probably goes without saying, but I will say that it is harder to be nice when you’re trying to beta quickly. So if you’re rushing or under a deadline or it’s a really long piece, it takes more mindfulness. Think about how you’re wording your comments. “Feel free to ignore” is a good phrase to keep handy, and so is, “This might be nitpicking but.” If you’re chummy with the author, maybe a full-fledged “LOOK I KNOW I AM ANNOYING BUT...”

After you’re done, tell the author what you loved most. It will make them feel good and it will set the proper tone for their reading of your comments.

And of course, in the end, it’s fic—nothing serious hinges on these commas, unlike the commas in the Second Amendment. So if all else fails, err on the side of flail, not fastidiousness. We’re here to have fun, after all. 

Click below the cut for an excerpt from The Copyeditor’s Handbook by Amy Einsohn, with the caveat that, of course, some of these things apply differently in fandom.

Copyeditors always serve the needs of three constituencies:

the author(s)—the person (or people) who wrote the manuscript the publisher—[aibidil note: is the fandom analogue “the fest mods”? lol] the readers—the people for whom the material is being produced

All these parties share one basic desire: an error-free publication. To that end, the copyeditor acts as the author’s second pair of eyes, pointing out—and usually correcting—mechanical errors and inconsistencies; errors or infelicities of grammar, usage, and syntax; and errors or inconsistencies in content. If you like alliterative mnemonic devices, you can conceive of the copyeditor’s chief concerns as comprising the “4 Cs”—clarity, coherency, consistency, and correctness—in service of the “Cardinal C”: communication.

Copyeditors correct—or ask the author to correct—errors or lapses in grammar, syntax, usage, and diction. Ideally, copyeditors set right whatever is incorrect, unidiomatic, confusing, ambiguous, or inappropriate without attempting to impose their stylistic preferences or prejudices on the author.

Copyeditors must strive to strike a balance between being overly permissive and overly pedantic. Copyeditors are expected to correct (or ask the author to correct) locutions that are likely to confuse, distract, or disturb readers, but copyeditors are not hired for the purpose of imposing their own taste and sense of style on the author. Thus when reading a manuscript, the copyeditor must ask, “Is this sentence acceptable as the author has written it?” The issue is not “If I were the writer, would I have written it some other way?”

Most copyeditors read very, very slowly. You must train yourself to read very slowly—slowly enough to scrutinize each comma (”OK, comma, what are you doing here? Do you really belong here? Why?”), to interrogate each pronoun (”Hey, pronoun, where’s your antecedent? Do you two agree in gender and number?”), to cross-examine each homophone (”You there, ‘affect’! Shouldn’t you be ‘effect’?”), and to ponder each compound adjective, adverb, and noun (”Does the dictionary show ‘cross section’ or ‘cross-section’?”). Moreover, you must read slowly enough to catch missing words (a dropped “the” or “a”), missing pieces of punctuation (”We need a hyphen here”), ambiguities in syntax, and gaps in logic.

You should look up anything that you are unsure of. With your dictionary, style manual, usage guide, thesaurus, and other reference books at your side, this is the time to read up on troublesome mechanical issues, brush up on tricky grammar and usage controversies, and verify your suspicions about factual inaccuracies or inconsistencies in the manuscript. 

The copyedited manuscript is always sent to the author for review.

Do not machete a manuscript or rewrite a document unless you are explicitly asked to do heavy editing or rewriting. If the author’s sentences are clear, correct, and serviceable, let them be. Don’t rewrite an author’s sentence simply because it is not the sentence you would have written. A reminder to this effect is posted on many bulletin boards in publishing offices around the world:

It’s hard difficult to resist the urge temptation to change improve someone else’s writing.

Resisting this urge will make your life as a copyeditor easier in several ways. First, you will be able to devote more of your attention to your primary responsibilities: When you resist the urge to recast phrases in your own voice, you are more likely to catch mechanical errors, internal inconsistencies, and grammatical mistakes. Second, your relations with authors will be smoother because they will perceive you as an aide, not as a usurper of their authorial powers. Third, both the copyediting and the cleanup will take less time and be less frustrating. Finally, you will neatly sidestep an issue that often troubles novice copyeditors: “How do I maintain the author’s style?” That issue will not arise if you focus on copyediting—not rewriting—and if you explain problems to your authors and ask them either to resolve the problems or to select among the alternatives you are posing.

#betas #betaing #beta readers #beta reading #editing #copyediting #on betaing #betaing 101 #fandom

[sergeant-angels-trashcan]

a good man goes to war

so, in lieu of doing a big long multi-paragraph essay about what was good and bad about “A Good Man Goes To War” I’m just going to bullet point it.

I have....a Lot of thoughts about this episode

the good:

The Last Centurion “I have a message and a question”. The framing of all of this was spectacular. Also, who knows what with the rebooting of the universe, but I’d love it if the Last Centurion was still a legend. I think Amy implies that he still is, which...frankly doesn’t make sense, but Hey! Moffat. Nothing’s going to make sense so I’ll take the fun stuff.

Rory the Roman in general is pretty cool. I mean, I love Rory. Also, now I’m thinking that he’s the one who taught Amy to use swords, since she seems to know what she’s doing in the pirate episode? Unless she was just taking fencing on her own who knows. (i love the headcanon that Rory worshiped/still prays to Fortuna occasionally)

Madam Vastra and Jenny! they might not be as well written as they should be in later episodes, but this introduction to them is fab

“A Sontaran nurse?” God. THAT is great. to be on a field of battle but unable to participate? I can unreservedly say that’s brilliant. Strax is great, like even his bedside manner is good but also keeping in character with a Sontaran soldier?

The light in River’s eyes when she tells her pops it’s her birthday, before she knows it’s Demon’s Run. She’s just!!! A kid!! excited to see her parent!!! not that we know that, of course, but still. This is one of those episodes where Alex Kingston’s talent really shines through.

sidenote: this is one of the few (only?) River episodes I can think of that didn’t revolve around her romantic relationship with the Doctor, and frames her more with Rory and Amy, which is fantastic. You can tell she’s remembering all those times she cried for her mummy and daddy and all she had was Kovarian but now she gets her parents and it’s. Good but awful.

and then the way her face falls when Rory says “they’ve taken Amy and our baby” like!! That’s her mom and River knows what comes next, her fucking terrible childhood and she just maybe wants her dad now? 

“this is the day he finds out who I am” which is why River can’t be there til the end...I’m assuming this is because Moffat is finally observing the basic rules of not interacting with your own time stream (a rule which apparently doesn't apply to Amy?)

the prayer leaf is lovely

“don’t slump, it’s bad for your spine,” Says the Sontaran nurse, whilst holding a gun on you. bless

“good men have no rules. this is not the day to find out why i have so many.” this is a much more sinister version of the Tin Man in the Wizard of Oz, who says that since he hasn’t a heart he must take care to never harm anything or hurt anyone because he wouldn’t feel remorse. I do like this. The Doctor isn’t always Good. The Doctor sometimes has to try very hard to be good, and I’m all right with that

Rory and Amy crying at each other. Nurse Rory checking his daughter to make sure she’s okay

(”let the others die first” is funny, very Amy, and seems like a believable response to everything Amy’s been through)

Honestly....the caliber of acting in this episode is off the charts, particularly in the last ten minutes and specifically with Karen and Arthur. Amy and Rory’s devastation and then numbness is just heartbreaking. And the way they’re almost disgusted with the Doctor--he told them to trust him, and look what happened

The moment with Rory and Strax is just great. Honestly, this episode has a lot of good emotionally-vulnerable-but-not-letting-it-slow-him-down moments for Rory

this is one of the first times the Doctor says he’s so sorry, and you can tell--you can just tell that for Amy, sorry isn’t enough

the bad:

the slightly ambiguous opening where you’re like “ohhhhhh DAMN the baby is the Doctor’s” like. that’s unnecessary.

the headless monks--mostly just the forced volunteering of personnel to join a religious order. paired with the rampant loss of bodily autonomy in this collection of episodes, a gay man being forced into religious reconditioning and bodily harm is...not great. might not be as noticeable in a different context but in this episode? yeah. not good

“the Doctor’s darkest hour” ok so....Moffat just really ignores the Waters of Mars. I remember him downplaying Ten’s struggles in the 50th as well. Am I arguing that this is not a truly terrible moment for the Doctor? No. But he’s not threatening to become the literal worst version of himself by making himself a god, so. 

“this is the day he finds out who I am” also goes here because...did he know who she was when he took her ice skating earlier? I get so confused about when the Doctor knows things and how River knows if he knows and if they know that’s great, but I, as a viewer, would also like to know

the headless monks have robes and laser swords so...they’re sith. they’re literally just headless Sith Lords

this is, I think, the first time we’ve seen the Doctor this cruel to his enemies? We’ve seen hints of it, certainly, with Ten and Harriet Jones and Ten and the spider star lady, but this is, as i’ve said before, a different temperature. Where Ten’s anger was fire, Eleven’s is ice

Amy and Rory haven’t see each other in almost a year....let them hug

ok so...I remember when Martha was cloned, and the clone smelled bad? and the the Doctor smells Melody and Amy...you’d think something like that would. you know, mean something. 

ok, props to the show for reminding us that the Time Lords only became such after millions of years of exposure to the untempered schism, and Madam Vastra brings up good points about how that would affect humans during conception, but like...it’s still a bit eh. Melody being conceived next to the Time Vortex suddenly makes her a Time Lord, or at least mostly-Gallifreyan? Okay, then, so Rose, in swallowing the Time Vortex, is definitely capable of regeneration and Idris might have been if her body had survived. Thanks for the new canon, Moff!

I’d honestly buy Melody being a Time Baby if she’d developed in utero on the TARDIS. More exposure to the vortex. But the implication is basically that they waited for Amy to get pregnant and then immediately kidnapped her. Which also means they were scanning her, waiting for her to get pregnant. Gross.

the moment the Doctor looks at River, realizing who she is is wonderful, it’s heartwarming, but it’s also, for me, undermined by the fact that he’s not just...happy to meet his best friends child, but that she’s his sort-of-girlfriend?

the absolutely appalling:

Amy is a literal hostage of a group of people who literally just wanted her for her babymaking abilities 

repeated use of “guys” by a military commander addressing his troops

The Doctor not remembering Lorna. Bullshit. I suppose this could feed into a greater narrative about how unconcerned the Doctor is with Little People, idk, but it seems fairly out of tune for the Doctor as a whole

The Doctor’s reaction to finding out Melody is River is, to me, weird. Like, when you find out you’ve been dating/making out/??? with your best friend’s kid, wouldn’t that give you pause? For just a moment? 

“I know where to find your daughter, and on my life she will be safe.” Unless he’s talking about adult River in the Stormcage, this makes me incredibly angry. because the next thing we find out is that the Doctor didn’t find her, didn’t make sure she was safe because she was being brainwashed into a child assassin. Again, like with Ganger!Amy, if he knew but didn’t do anything, that’s not okay. that’s worse. 

River says he finds her and keeps her safe but....when? I mean, isn’t the ideal time for that before she tries to kill you and gets jailed for it???? 

he then just leaves his incredibly traumatized best friend all alone in the place she was held hostage, leaving her grown daughter to explain that she’s Amy’s baby....jerk move

also, he supposedly leaves to find River, doesn’t reach out to Amy and Rory, and still doesn’t find River. You can talk, if you want, about how he can’t change his past or River’s past or timelines or what-have-you, except that this is the Doctor and these are his friends, and the only reason Amy and Rory don’t get to raise her is so that she can wind up dating and marrying the Doctor and maybe it’s somehow less weird if he’s not in her life when she’s a child?

There’s really no reason for the Doctor to not be able to rescue River

Except, of course, the idea that what makes a female character “strong” is how much you can make them suffer and still live, I suppose

the surprisingly great:

when River is dressing down the Doctor about what he does, about how he instills fear in people and then those people banded together and kidnapped a child that they’d turn into a weapon just to defeat him, I had the unexpected reaction of DRAG HIM BABE.

because the Doctor only knowing what he knows, he’s right to be angry at this person who he asked for help and who did not give it

but River is also very much in the right since she was kidnapped, brainwashed, probably emotionally abused because people were afraid of him and wanted to kill him. She’s right because he promises her parent’s that she’ll be fine, and yet. And yet she still goes through all of that. She still misses out on being raised in a loving home, surrounded by people who care for her

so yeah

DRAG HIS ASS, RIVER

the music. not surprising, but still fantastic. River’s theme is beautiful and haunting and still my fave

#dw rw #rant #anti moffat #doctor who #i am MAD #also: once again typos while on muscle relaxer

[roxannepolice]

I share your desire for complexity but if they wanted to make a grey political story LF would not have invoked neo nazi imagery with the FO. Any time a creator does that it’s a shorthand for b&w conflict bc it’s basically the only b&w conflict we have irl. Individual chars can be redeemed but I have zero doubt that the moral-political axis will remain unchanged in ix. If LF wanted us to question sides their villains would be based on a different analogue.

Ok, so first of all I may get a little foul-mouthed here but tbh to a person raised and living in a country which had dubitable pleasure of being stuck between Third Reich and USSR, has never been full of innocent tolerant lambs in their own right and is currently dealing with the freshest wave of extreme right - because mind you, they’re not neo-nazis, since nazism is only limited to Germany, at least according to them - politicizing GFFA is a laugh but really a cry. So if that’s a sensitive or in any way triggering issue to someone, I apologize and please, just stop here.

I dunno what to tell you, anon. That OT didn’t stray away from Riefenstahl style for rebels too?

That resistance uniforms aren’t exactly immune to their own connotations?

That the broomstick boy has a pose straight from a soviet propaganda poster?

That the story we’re getting basing on the esthetic is so mindnumbingly stupid, useless and self-congratulating Disney-LF would have saved a whole lotta money if they just gave the audience paid oral pleasure or sold ice cream to those below 18 instead of making the sequels and the effect would have been essentially the same? 

Like, really, what’s the f*cking point of this whole trilogy if it’s there to reassure us bad guys™ are still irredeemably bad and there is no other conceivable evil? Because this is what the neo-nazi imagery essentially boils down to when you don’t apply real world politics - fo are neo-empire first and foremost and since empire had nazi imagery, they have neo-nazi imagery. They’re basically the same villains as the ones in OT - which either means that New Republic hasn’t dealt with them as they should have - or DLF really has no better idea than to lick my centro-leftist ass, because as far as making a difference by scaring actual neo-nazis is concerned, make no mistake, they won’t f*cking care about the “jewish propaganda”, they’re romantic rebels on a crusade against an evil globalist empire (unfortunately that video has no english translation and I don’t really want to give it too many views but if someone is interested I can direct them to a video of polish right-wing publicist interpreting TFA. essentially, he gets he’s fo. and has zero f*cks to give). Having fo gratuitously vanquished will accomplish nothing but cheerlead on people who already are against neo-nazis and personally I’m mistrustful of flattery in any form and for any reason. You could argue it will influence the future generation - yet somehow after empire got vanquished we still have the same problem.

And before anyone asks and what would the reintegration accomplish I openly say nothing as well, simply provide better drama which I insist should be a priority here.

A story in which we get essentially the same villains as the last time is the story in which individual redemptions, let alone individual bendemption, are the one thing that won’t happen, because this puts us back at the end of RotJ, especially now that we know Vader wasn’t the only redeemed imperial. And this basically translates to Disney-LF admitting they have nothing interesting to add to SW and are openly going to milk my money banking on nostalgia and stroking activist ego - in which case I admire their honesty but would rather have the ice cream. TSequels’ ending will either have to feature some form of reintegration of numerous fo members - even if that reintegration is imprisonment, prison is still part of the society, unlike exile - or have each and every one of them blown to smithereens - or admit that it was dramatically useless. I’m nost sarcastic here, if someone can give me good dramatic justification for the trilogy which ends in exactly the same place as the previous did, I will be only grateful, because I know what I’m suggeting is controversial - but it’s a result of longish analysis of potential courses the story can take. 

But ok, I also don’t want to sound like I completely dismiss the esthetical implications. By moral ambiguity I definitely don’t mean that the tables will turn a 180° and fo will turn out to be the heroes and resistance villains all along. What I do hope to see is darker and lighter shades of grey, translating to resistance crossing some moral barriers and fo members maybe not being indiscriminately brainwashed evil zombies - which is simply an amplification of what we’ve already seen about rebels and empire in Rouge One and Solo.

I suppose the save middle ground is the stormtrooper rebellion, though again, personally I’d be delighted to see Mitaka’s happy ending and wouldn’t really mind Hux’s epic redemption through taking care of stray cats in the galaxy. The stormtroopers already have a personalized advocate in form of Finn, are very widely aacknowledged as kidnapped and brainwashed children, have their original rather than nazi outfits, and have essentially been there since the clone wars only the new republic decided to put them on the same shelf with the empire. Funnily enough, I’ve actually seen speculations that involve the stormtrooper rebellion but no bendemption - and if thinking we’ll only get individual redemptions is misssing the rythm, this attitude is missing the melody. The individual and political subplots in Star Wars aren’t simply running along, they’re exact mirrors of each other: 

few hours after the Tuscan massacre Palpatine receives emergency powers

Padme gives birth to the twins on the same day that she co-created the rebellion 

Anakin willfully becomes Vader on the same day that the republic became the empire in thunderous applause 

Vader’s husk burns to release Anakin’s spirit simultaneously with empire getting scored the major defeat releasing republic’s spirit 

essentially, the republic rebels wanted to restore was technically empire all along, just as the father Luke searched for was Vader all along 

Kylo kills Han hours after FO destroys the Hosian system. 

This isn’t some ubermeta analysis, it’s just something a sensitive viewer perceives and non-sensitive still likes without conscious recognition.

In summary - I just can’t look at Kylo Ben and see a broken abuse victim and then indiscriminately shrug my shoulders at fo and stormtroopers - nor can I bank on stormtrooper rebellion and assume Kylo’s an irredeemable psychopath.

#asks #star wars #bendemption #villain discourse #redemption discourse #tw: nazism #tw: neo-nazism #stormtrooper rebellion #sequel trilogy

[peacefulheartfarm]

What I Love About Homesteading

Today I want to talk about what I love about homesteading. Quite a few of the previous podcasts have contained lots of information about animal predator issues we have been having. I know it has been a real downer. As for me, it has definitely been a downer and I want to do this podcast to bring a balanced perspective and more positive outlook on our life here on the homestead. We don’t always have such a bad time of it. In fact, what I love about homesteading is a much better representation of what it is like for us most of the time.

Let me take a brief minute and say welcome to all the new listeners and welcome back to the veteran homestead-loving regulars who stop by the FarmCast for every episode. I can’t thank you all enough. I appreciate you all so much. And I’m so excited to share with you what’s going on at the farm this week. We have big news.

Our Virginia Homestead Life Updates

The greatest thing is finally happening. If all goes well over the next few days, we will have a new dog on the homestead.

Sheep and Goats

We had yet another attack on our sheep. This time it was dogs. The tracks left behind were definitely from dogs. At least two. I’m not going to give the details this time, but we are down to four animals. The flock ram, a yearling and two breeding ewes. Thank God for the imminent arrival of a livestock guardian dog.

We can now rebuild our sheep flock and start a new goat herd. The most stressful thing about the whole situation is that we could not rebuild the flock or introduce the new goat breed we are adding to the homestead. I wanted to get back to normal flock size but we simply could not risk bringing new animals onto the homestead that would simply be killed by stray dogs. They are still out there. Yesterday we found dog tracks down in the very creek bed where the previous destruction occurred. It had rained hard the day before. These tracks were fresh yesterday. I’m so grateful that we have finally found a dog. Let me tell you a little bit about him.

Mack the Catalonian Sheep Dog

Mack was rehomed from a family that sold all of their sheep and therefore he no longer had a job. He was born and raised in the pasture with livestock, which is what we were looking for in a guardian dog. The lady from which we are getting him has had him for just a few months. She began having a bit of an issue with him going to visit the neighbors while she was not there during the daylight hours. At night he protected his animals.

Wandering is Not Good

As she does not live on that farmland where he was housed, he began seeking company elsewhere. She expected him to stay with the animals all the time. It seems that while she was only a few miles away, he still needed to know a human was around and sought out the neighbors to fill that role. We are hoping that because we are here all the time, he will be comfortable knowing we are always around and that he will be diligent about staying with the sheep. We shall see. It has been many, many years since either of us has had a dog. I, for one, am looking forward to this new adventure. I hope Mack will be happy with us and with his new flock of sheep.

Adding the goats later will be an interesting exercise in introducing new animals to Mack. I’m sure I’ll be regaling stories of the ups and downs of livestock guardian dog ownership. Stay tuned.

Cows

We are still waiting on Violet to come into heat. Does it seem like to you that we are always “waiting on Violet” for something? I know it seems like it to me. We are pretty confident that all of the other girls are gestating a new calf. Will Violet get with the program? Only time will tell. She needs to conceive in the next few weeks or we end up in the same situation again. We have just a few weeks to meet our schedule of having her pregnant and due for delivery no later than the last week of April.

Quail

New quail babies will hatch in a few days. I have 84 eggs in there. I’m not sure what is going to happen this time. A couple of days ago we had a power outage. A tree fell on a line during a particularly heavy thunderstorm. We were out of power for several hours. This is not a problem during any time when the incubator is not running. After about an hour, we started the generator and plugged in the incubator. The temp was quite low and the humidity was really high due to the moisture from the rain. It stabilized quickly but I have no idea how this will affect the hatch rate.

I was going back and forth trying to decide between getting a battery big enough to jump start the car or one that would simply be enough for the cell phone and credit card reader. I need those two things working when I’m at the farmer’s market. This power outage clarified that decision.

HALO Bolt

There is a product called Halo Bolt and there are several different models. It comes with a small set of jumper cables, a couple of USB connections and even a place to attach a small device with an AC plug. It costs just under $100 dollars.

On the other hand, I can get a small charging device without the AC outlet and jumper cable capability for about 20 bucks. I was leaning in that direction. I just got a new car battery and don’t expect to have to use the jumper cables for quite a few years. But the experience of being without power for the incubator has convinced me to invest in the more expensive unit.

Let’s Get One and Test It Out

We cranked up the generator. But that was overkill for one little incubator. The more practical solution would be to be able to plug it into that battery for a little while. At least I think that will work. It is designed for charging a tablet or laptop, but I believe you can plug in any AC cord and run the device. We shall see. I’ll give it a try and let you know how it turns out. These are the kinds of things for which everyone needs to be prepared. You simply never know when the power is going to be out. For you it might be that you need to be able to charge your cell phone. For us, it’s going to be keeping the incubator running for those quail eggs.

Garden

I have three 5-gallon buckets of green beans in the cooler. We picked them Sunday evening. Tomorrow I’ll be packaging them up for the farmer’s market. They look beautiful. I’m so glad we got this great harvest. In the next few weeks, the Mexican bean beetles will come out and take over the plants. We don’t use any pesticides on our garden, not even the organic ones. We pick them off or squish them. But using this method ensures that eventually the bugs will win. Planting extra and making sure the plants are healthy and not a magnet to bugs are my two strategies for pest control and reaping a decent harvest.

There are small tomatoes all over the place out there. That’s going to be another great crop to harvest in the very near future.

Orchard

In the orchard, the blackberries are all that is left to pick. Scott cleaned out the wild blackberries that have thorns so it is easy for me to pick the remaining blackberries. We still have quite a few that are red and not yet ripe. I have a couple of gallons in the freezer right now. My plan for those is to steam the juice out of them and make seedless blackberry jelly.

I don’t know what happened to the apples. We had several trees that had apples for the first time ever but those apples disappeared. I suspect the deer that briefly invaded the orchard area is the culprit there. There is always next year.

I was hoping to see the strawberries bloom again. They are supposed to be everbearing. The deer ate all of the green leaves a while back, but they have grown back and the plants look great. Still waiting on those blooms and more strawberries.

Creamery

Still nothing going on here. It may be another couple of weeks before anything gets going again in the creamery. Scott is so busy with the high summer tasks of keeping the fields and orchards cut. Repairing fences takes up him time and so on. He has three or four more fields to mow and then maybe he can get back on the creamery tasks. You never know though. Some other tasks may come up. We shall see. Let’s talk about what I love about homesteading.

What I Love About Homesteading

I’m just going to run through a list of things that came up when I thought about what I love about homesteading. They are not in any particular order.

Setting my own schedule

The first thing that I love is that I’m in charge of when I get up and go to work. I say this with some ambiguity. It’s not like I can sleep until noon on any given day. In fact, there are still chores that need to be done on a regular basis, usually at a particular time. But as I have chosen to make those chores part of my life, I’m still in charge. I’m free to change the routine at any time. It might involve changing what animals we house here, but I certainly have that option.

Daily Planning Meetings

Another thing that is an absolute delight is having daily meetings with Scott about what we are going to do on any given day. It is a continuation of the hours and hours that we spent dreaming about what we were going to do once we were living here all the time, no longer working for someone else. We still dream together on a daily basis.

Making cheese

Once a week I make cheese. I love making cheese. It is a peaceful occupation. Sometimes it requires a bit of heavy lifting and that makes me tired, but in the end, I get these wonderful masterpieces of cheese on which to gaze. The entire process is still so amazing to experience, even though I’ve done it hundreds of times. To see liquid milk turn into a solid wheel or two or three of cheese is still awesome to see.

Gardening

Gardening without having to work it in around other things, well for the most part. This is like saying I set my schedule. There are sometimes when I need to do things in the garden but I also need to make cheese or go to the bank or clean the bathroom and so on. So, I do end up working it in around other things. But what I don’t have to do is try to work it in after a day at the office or in a limited time frame on the weekend. I have the whole week to figure out where I am going to fit in the gardening.

Perhaps this sounds too simple. But we spent years and years driving back and forth from Virginia to South Carolina for work. I had all day Saturday and Sunday until 6 pm to get all of the gardening done as well as laundry and cleaning and on and on. The garden was always overrun with weeds. It was not really that fun. Now it is a joy. And of course it is hard work when it is 85 or 90 degrees out, but it is a good work out. And if I don’t get it all done in one day, I have other days in which to work out when to get out there and water, weed, and pick veggies.  

Experiencing the Seasons

Experiencing each of the seasons up close and personal is part of our everyday life. The gardens brought that to mind. In the past, we experienced spring, summer, fall and winter as changes in temperature. Perhaps whether it snowed or rained was the most important aspect of the season but daily activities remained pretty much the same. Get up, go to work, come home, watch a little TV, go to bed and then do it all over again.

Now, each season brings us a change in what we do on the homestead. There is a lot of activity associated with spring, summer and fall. But each activity is different. In general, spring time is for planting, summer for weeding and watering and the fall is all about the harvest and preserving the harvest. Some of that happens all along the way, but in general, this is how I think about my life. The primary focus in the spring is getting the planting done. The primary focus in the summer is weeding and water, though there is a lot of harvesting happening as well. It just moves around a lot from one plant to the next to the next. In the fall, it is all about getting everything in and preserved for later use.

And I never thought I would say this, but I love the winter now. It is a time to slow down, take stock of what worked and what needs to be changed in the next season. I used to hate winter. Seasonal Affective Disorder is something I have struggled with most of my life. As the winter season wore on, I would get more and more inactive and more and more depressed. Recently, in the last few years, I’ve changed my diet, eliminating most carbohydrates. My moods stabilized. Now I experience the winter with joy. I still slow down. That’s why winter is useful. It is a time to rest up and revitalize the roots so the organism is strong and bursting with energy in the spring. I’m having a great experience with that deep revitalization in the winter. And I’m ready to get up and go when spring arrives.

Losing Track of the Day and Hour

Not knowing what day of the week it is or what time of day it is can be a little disconcerting. But I really only have to think about it once or twice a day. In the morning I determine what day it is and what I need to accomplish for the coming days. Things like getting ready for the farmer’s market or doing a podcast or newsletter. These things are done on specific days so I need to be ready for that. Otherwise, I check my list of things to do and get going on the first item. In the evening there is a bit of reflection on what to prepare for the next day. One of the farmer’s markets requires me to get up at 5:15 am and the other 6:00 am. Other days of the week, the alarm goes off at 6 but we may or may not get up immediately. We have some leeway on those days. But market days, we pop up and get going as soon as the alarm sounds.  

New Life

The new births that happen in the spring. I never get tired of the new births. It is stressful for me, as I’ve said before. But I wouldn’t trade that joy of new birth for anything in the world.

Tours for Kids

Sharing our homestead with kids that come to visit. They love it so much. I watched a group of 8 kids just a few days ago which they explored the quail. They delighted in watching these quirky birds. They didn’t just look at them and say, “Oh they are cute.” No, they watched and watched and watched them. They looked into each section of the cages. They opened the cage doors and looked for eggs. It was so beautiful to see.

Clean Eating

Another thing I love about the homestead is cooking with ingredients that I raised myself. I know the exact contents of everything I eat. I either raised it myself, purchased or bartered for it from another farm or homestead, or I purchased a single ingredient item in the store. This was the first and most important reason that we started our dream of living the homestead life. I get so tired of reading the labels on foods in the grocery store and seeing all kinds of things that I cannot even pronounce. There are so many fillers and everything has sugar or wheat or gluten added. Even the meats now are injected with flavoring and fillers to bulk up the product. The label says something like, “contains 10% of something or other” to maintain freshness or enhance flavor or whatever. That’s 10% of the meat that is something that did not originate with the animal. I’m so glad those days are past.

Spending Time in the Kitchen

I get to spend lots of time in the kitchen storing food and being food self-reliant. When working for someone else, time in the kitchen was a dreadful activity. I wanted to eat out as much as possible. Who wants to cook after working all day? I’m ready to sit down and let someone else do the work. Of course, I was eating a lot of really bad stuff. Chinese take out was a favorite. There is a lot of sugar in that stuff. So that is all in the past. I spend time in the kitchen when I choose. Sometimes I make a meal that will last for days. In the intervening days, I might be making jam or canning pickled peppers. Canning is another task that I used to dread when I worked for other people. It was something I had to do and I had to do it right away in a limited time frame on Saturday or Sunday. It was stressful. Now there is still stress to get the harvest processed but the window of time has expanded. I have every day, seven days a week to plan for the next harvest and canning session.  

Long Term Dreaming/Planning Sessions

Long term planning of the next step in our journey or modifying the previous plan is just as wonderful now as it was when we were just dreaming. We spent years dreaming about what we were going to do once we lived full time on our homestead. We wanted to do everything. We soon found out that we had to pick and choose what to do. There are simply not enough hours in the day to do all of which we dreamed. But the dreaming and planning is so much fun. And it continues. There is always something new to be added, changed or deleted from our homestead.

Daily Communion with God

And the final thing I want to say about what I love about homesteading is just getting up and going outside and communing with God. Living the homestead lifestyle makes it effortless. While all the work is going on and on and on, seemingly endless, there is always time to just stop and listen to the birds, feel the sunshine and soft breeze, and to watch God’s creations grazing in the fields, the children playing and the amazing plants growing and changing each day as they blossom and produce their fruits. We are truly blessed.

Final Thoughts

That’s it for today’s podcast. I may have rambled a bit here and there but I hope you enjoyed the uplifting ideas I talked about. Let me know what your dreams are and how you are progressing toward them. It doesn’t have to be the homestead life. We are all unique in our hopes and desires. Please share your dreams with me. I’d love to hear your story. Send me an email. Let me know what’s beautiful in your life.

If you enjoyed this podcast, please hop over to Apple Podcasts or whatever podcasting service you use, SUBSCRIBE and give me a 5-star rating and review. If you like this content and want to help out the show, the absolute best way you can do that is to share it with any friends or family who might be interested in this type of content. Let them know about the Peaceful Heart Farmcast.

Thank you so much for stopping by the homestead and until next time, may God fill your life with grace and peace.

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