#it just makes me so happy about the queer community

[ghostflowerhotpotch]

How do you think the spider gang would react to Gwen coming out as trans? I think they'd all be supportive, but I'm curious if you have details

I am going to be honest with you anon, I had been looking at this question for weeks, thinking about it, and...I am not coming up with much.

I am trans, I don't have that much experience with people reacting to that- and I am not making any more comments about that.

Going back to the original question- I think all of them would be supportive; regardless of background or history, I feel doing anything else would be a disservice to the characters, and also, a type of story I really don't have interest entertaining, (Would Noir, being from 40s, be reasonable to have his apprehensions and need to overcome it? Yes, I am interested in seeing something like that? Personally, fuck no.)

Now, it doesn't mean there cannot be hiccups- all well intending, of course.

(Specific characters under the cut because, as always with me, it got long.)

Peter B I see going over the top; talking how brave Gwen is, and that he supports her no matter what, he also reads a book on trans people and tell hims about the people in his universe who are trans. Gwen appreciates it, but it can be uncomfortable at times.

Noir, regardless of time period, would be supportive, but mixes up terminology. The poor guy already struggles with the pop culture lingo, so throwing queer lingo into the mix can make things awkward; specially since, as a spider-man, he has defended the marginalized people of his dimension and is aware of the community, but- that community had its own terminology that may not be appreciated to day. Is a growing curve.

In my opinion, Ham is a much of a man as Bugs Bunny, meaning gender isn't as important as commitment to the bit; so I can see him busting a dress all of the sudden and saying "I get you sis." Accordingly, if asked about his own gender, he is pretty much "normally a guy, but in general whatever fits better with the scene."

Peni I headcanon as nonbinary, so I think she would be happy to meet another person who isn't cis. Definitely would have lots of talk about presentation, tricks for clothes a make up, the works.

Margo is cool about it, there isn't much to say there; she just tells Gwen that it doesn't change anything between them, and she is still invited to come for the slumber parties (Margo has thrown a bunch in the Spider-Society, because anything to spend as little time mentally at home as possible.)

Pavitr: "Oh so you are like a hijra? That's so cool!" (This is a term from a place I am not from, so I can't talk in length about it, feel free to look it up because it is indeed, very cool.) While not the same, he ends up telling more about how people in his dimension see transgender people, Gwen finds it overall really interesting.

Hobie is, of course, cool about it. He is a punk, noncomformist, and "hates labels," he could probably tell Gwen a stupid amount of things about queer history, intersectionally, so far and so forth. Despite using he/him pronouns, I believe with all my heart Hobie would not give a shit about gender roles and dress how he likes, and be okay with any pronouns. This has nothing to do with your question, but I headcanon that Hobie has been the queer awakening of many other teens of the Spider-Society as he strolls down in whatever outfit he feels like it.

Now Miles, is obviously supportive. I think he may be oblivious to many things (I headcanon him as bi for a long awhile, but I am not sure if that's something he knows already or has yet to discover,) so he asks questions, but is always respectful and has no trouble answering. Overall, Gwen thinks is cute how much Miles dotes on her, and reminding her that she will always be the prettiest girl alive to him.

Huh, I guess I had more to say that I expected, this was fun! Thanks for the question and sorry for the delay.

#ghostflower #gwiles #gwen stacy #trans gwen stacy #atsv #itsv #across the spiderverse #into the spiderverse #peter b parker #spider noir #peter b porker #peni parker #margo kess #pavitr prabhakar #hobie brown #miles morales #spider-man #spider-ham #spider-woman #spider-gwen #ghost spider #spider byte #sp//dr #spider-punk #spider-india #headcanon #atsv headcanons

[cult-of-the-eye]

I love how intricate asexuality can be. No sex at all? Sure! Just want to watch? Brilliant! Only comfortable with topping? You go girl! Only rarely feel aroused and when you do it's very touch and go? Wonderful! Kinky but not in a sex way? Coolio! Queerness is full of nuance and people are complicated and things never live in a vacuum!!

#guess what made this dawn on me #reading jmart fanfic #and seeing all the different ways jon's asexuality is depicted #it just makes me so happy about the queer community #tma #the magnus archives #jonathan sims #martin k blackwood #jmart #queer #ace #asexual #acespec

[blackbackedjackal]

As a Gévaudan Lycan, June’s design is supposed to give off an unknowable and melancholy energy.

Gévaudan Lycans are mimics, and their emotions alter their form, especially if they have little to no control of themselves when they shift.

The way June was changed into a lycan and her experience during first shift were extremely traumatic, and over time, her lycan form reflected her feelings of loss and self-loathing. She fronts as this charming and confident woman, while holding back her deeper emotions that eventually leached into the form that reflects her true self.

Fear, sadness, loss, and rage all mixed into this one entity she cannot control. Once a month, she's forced into facing all of those emotions, reliving that trauma again and again for nearly 30 years.

#so when people say they like her design #it makes me so so happy #I put lot of thought into it #as I really wanted to reflect a top very near and dear to my heart #which is the lack of access and resources for black women (especially queer black women) for mental health #there's this kind of cultural thing #where your hairstylist is also your therapist #and June’s design and lore is a reference to that culture #all these hardworking women in the community who will just be TALKING about their experiences at hair salons #it's cathartic but also like #it happens because of how little professional help is available and accessible for the community #anyway June is a big sad cryptid werewolf and needs to not be sad :[ #she can still be a big cryptid werewolf but she needs lycantherapy #june kingston #strawberry moon

[shysquiggles]

GOOD OMENS SPOILERS !!!!

----

Okay but I genuinely can't get over how important it was for Crowley to kiss Aziraphale. Like it was so important.

Yes, of course, important from the real-world perspective: after countless years of queer-coding in TV shows and then inevitably being greeted by judgement and disgust from others as well as the people who have worked on the show (looking at you, BBC Sherlock). I'm pretty sure tumblr users from back a good 10 years ago (myself included) have come flooding back to tumblr following these canon kisses because we're so used to being gaslight into thinking two same-sex characters in a TV show will never express their love on-screen. This show, alongside OFMD, is attracting the same mainstream demographic as those other shows and making our main characters kiss. Because, no matter how queer the relationship was in those shows back in 2015(ish), it wouldn't be accepted as canon unless there was a kiss.

BUT putting that aside, it was SO important in the universe of Good Omens too. For these characters to truly demonstrate where they each are in their heads, and where they want to be.

This was the first kiss, possibly ever, where a demon and an angel kiss. I kept thinking we never saw Beelzebub and Gabriel kiss, despite canonically running away together. They are a couple. And at first, I was like, okay great, this is the writer's making sure that the first kiss we see IS between Aziraphale and Crowley. The show is pretty much their relationship through time, it's good to make them the focus point. But it's not just that, not at all.

Gabriel and Beelzebub experience and demonstrate their love and their joy at the end through singing. Stereotypically, this is very much what angels are known for. People literally use the phrase, "voice of an angel". It's kind of an angel's thing -and seeing as all demons have been angels at some point or another, it makes sense.

But Crowley and Aziraphale's experience of love, of witnessing it and seeing it themselves, is always through humans. Their expression of love is always so human (acts of service, eating food together, quality time) Their relationship isn't heavenly, nor is it hellish. It's human.

Crowley choosing to declare his love and then kiss Aziraphale is so innately human, and is something that neither demons nor angels ever do. It is truly showing that he has left behind any demonic or heavenly desire and simply wishes to exist in his human life with Aziraphale. It furthers his expression of wanting Aziraphale to stay with him, for them, where they can just be themselves. To be an "us".

It's not an angelic or a demonic act, to kiss someone. It's human.

#good omens #good omens spoilers #ofmd #david tennant #good omens 2 #good omens s2 spoilers #crowley #Aziraphale #This show has left me an obsessed wreck #I genuinely can't stop thinking about it #And genuinely the trauma of how much judgement there was for loving shows and ships back in 2015 has left me so skeptical to ship anything #I just love how much everyone in the community and in the production of the show itself love this and love the relationship too #It makes me so happy to have such a good romantic story for a queer couple in mainstream media #I informed my girlfriend that I lost a pint of blood and multiple limbs from this show a couple of days ago #I think I've lost at least another 3 pints

[snekdood]

ive been disillusioned with a lot of the left for a while, it's nice to at least see that other ppl see it now, though the reason why kinda fucking sucks.

#i used to think i could trust ppl bc of pride flags in their profile or them being trans or whatever #and then i put allll of my trust in that community not realizing theres a Multitudes of types of ppl in it #aside from even the fact some trans ppl can be nazis- some trans people- as much as it might make us look bad to admit- #are also predators and abusers and want to lie to you and use you for money and sexually abuse you and dump you like trash #and then accuse you of doing everything they did @u@;; ask me how i know! #so on the one hand im happy ppl see it now- it's not that leftists or queer ppl or feminists are better ppl- ppl more worthy to trust- #they're just as diverse and as good and as shitty as any other demographic of people. #you're gonna find shitty people everywhere. obviously you're more likely to find predators on the right but that doesnt mean theres not #plenty on the left too. #at a certain point calling yourself 'on the left' doesnt mean much aside from idk. thinking ppl need basic human rights? #and even then its apparent that some leftists dont think that. so who can say. maybe you wont misgender me? but nah- you will #if i disagree w you or if we get in a fight- i've seen plenty of leftists do this. #i just think the term is useless now. #i think the left is about to fracture into different groups at this point #anyways be weary traveler of ever putting all of ye trust into any group of people. #its possible to like ppl and enjoy being around them and still not fully trust them. and if something tells you to gtfo? you should #also putting all your trust in a group of ppl is a one way ticket into possibly joining a cult on accident #or at the very least a culty friendgroup

[fakeshibe]

opened twitter today and literally half of the posts on my timeline were biphobia, which just kinda sucks to have the first thing you see on twitter that day be people who don’t even know me telling me i’m wrong about my own sexuality, or saying im not bi im just in denial about comp-het or blaming bi people for the biphobia they face and invalidating the homophobia they face because ‘you can just chose to be in a straight passing relationship’ 🫠

which… that’s really not how it works lol, like bisexuality doesn’t mean you just pick who you like and then get feelings for them, it works just the same as literally any other orientation and i thought that would’ve been common knowledge (although maybe i’m being too generous by assuming genuine ignorance there instead of deliberate obtuseness)

it’s not just online, people feel so comfortable being casually biphobic irl. like, i don’t get comments on it super often, but i’ve had a couple of comments made (mostly by other queer people!!) that are just super invalidating or insensitive things to say. but because they’re not being directly homophobic they don’t see it as being an actually fucked up thing to say.

there’s been a couple of things that i’ve laughed im off in the moment, or like gone away from the conversation and told someone else ‘hey listen to this funny thing my friend said’ only to realise days or weeks later that they were actually just saying something fucked up lol

just let me be bisexual in peace, im literally just chilling i don’t see what the issue is

#like i’m just being chill and happy #i really don’t see why it’s such an issue to people #people don’t seem to recognise biphobia as an actual thing #then when you do complain about it it gets minimised as not that bad #but like #some of the shit people feel comfortable saying to me is just straight up old fashioned homophobia rebranded #telling me i can choose who i’m attracted to and should just choose to be straight/gay instead of bi #and it’s so rarely cishet people that feel comfortable saying this shit?? #like i don’t mean to start a fight within the community but the comments i get from cishet people are just regular homophobia #it’s only really other queer people that make comments specifically about my bisexual rather than generally my queerness #kinda sucks!!! #anyway #being silly and having fun #sheeb bi posting

[catgirlwizard]

.

#personal #its ridiculous how i was so depressed 2 days ago and then my partner was like. whay if i came over right now even though #its almost midnight. and what if i slept over at your house for 3 nights in a row. and now im sitting here having eaten breakfast for the #first time in like 4 weeks and feeling happy waiting for him to wake up so we can shower together and were #gonna go on a build-a-bear date and i no longer feel like i deserve to d*e with him here #hes just so sweet and i love him a lot and im really lucky to have him in my life <3 ive never been in a relationship where i felt this #safe and comfortable and accepted before and i know he hasnt either and its just nice #definitely helps that were both trans autistic queers with parental trauma so theres a lit about each other that we understand without #needing to explain it in depth #but also he really values communication and even thiigh im so used to shutting all my feelings off and not telling people about them #im trying really hard to not do that with him and its? nice not bottling everything up for once? #he really listens to me when i talk and tries to understand and respect my boundaries all the time and its realy nice to have that #ive been awful at establishing boundaries in past relationships and i didnt feel like my boundaries mattered to at least one ex so its #a nice change of pace to have someone go out of their way to make me feel reapected and valued like thay #and thats not even mentioning all the hot gay transgender sex we have because like. both being on t kind of makes that a necessity dhdjdjdj #its just nice having him in my life and feeling loved and cared for and getting to love and care for him back and im so lucky #that everything fell into place for us to date each other because i really dont know what id have done without him this past half a year #this is so long fhdjsjsjsj im just waoting for him to get up and feeling emotional about how much of a good influence he is in my life <333

[sapsolais]

!

#sometimes i think about how my first ever online community experience was playing online survival/vanilla minecraft #n i think of how happy it made me to be a part of a greater community y'know? nothing huge but #it all felt so big 2 me and i felt so immersed at the time and so sometimes when i get reminded of that time and all the people i met #i crave smth like that again #but everythings different now! with the way servers work. n all the public servers are either dead or have 345987 plugins sdfkjgh #not 2 mention way too big. or they alr have established communities #n like! i dunno it's a struggle bc it's like okay where am i gonna find a server that's like. 18+. queer friendly + devoid of bigots #active. not super huge. and New #bc like 2 me there's no point in joining a server if everythings alr been done y'know #i've had people give me full netherite as soon as i joined and i was like thanks but! now what. KDSFJHDSF #i want 2 go on a journey w other people and do silly things and play pranks on friends and help people w their projects #i want 2 plan big things and explore places and make friends and build a community y'know #people from all over n all at dif points in their lives n all so unique coming together for this one thing #i just dunno where to look anymore #i miss it though #i love this game a lot but the one thing i love the most about it i haven't had in such a long time #sap says #maybe someday

[qeyond]

okay so i did basically 4.5 years of design school to become an industrial designer which is just a fancy degree word for "I make consumer products and curate user experiences" or whatever

ANYWAY I'm staring at the sketch of L's bong and I know, I KNOW, so deeply it would be productive to sketch up more concepts and brain storm like I was schooled to, but my burn out brain is like >:(((((( NO BRAIN STORM. NO CONCEPTUALIZE. ONLY SKETCH!!

#qeyond sucks #i didnt get my bachelors cuz i dropped out a year before graduation cuz of burn out and covid making the course online (very hands on) #so while my classmates are graduating this month (SO PROUD OF THEM!!!) im here drawing Light Yagami's dump truck ass #and L lawliet worlds greatest detective blazed out his gourd yearning and longing #that being said despite sketching all the time in those 4.5 years I literally never got to draw for myself #so this is the first time in a long long long time ive drawn people #and im just really happy with how my skills are improving and im learning CSpaint and just #getting to interact with other people in the death note fandom is ALWAYS such a huge mood boost #im really really so happy yall are having fun with me <3 #idk i havent been in a community besides being queer since like 2010 so its just really really nice #<3 <3 <3 #anyway -_- might have to do concept page #BUT I WONT STRESS MYSELF OUT TRYING TO BE PROFESSIONAL AND GOOD ABOUT THE PERSPECTIVES #I WONT!!!! I ... I wont... ; _ ; #(profs are gonna show up and kill me for fucking up an ellipse)

[thatsit-thatsthepost]

my favourite thing about the polyamorous community is their continuous dedication to finding the og flag so ugly that they come up with alternate designs, and all of them managing to be just as bad, if not worse than the original

#like don’t get me wrong I think it’s genuinely great #like I’m so so happy that polyam people care about our community and our attractions to the point of making their own flags with meaning #and I’m sure there’s some kind of meta commentary about how the nature of polyamory is tied to an abundance of love so it makes sense - #- to feel like it’s can’t be represented/contained by one single flag #but still #the og flag isn’t even *that* bad y’all are just mean #original content? on my blog? it’s more likely than you think #elijah’s being queer again #polyam #is this flag discourse? idk #probably

[blackbeardsemophase]

.

#i have to get this out in the physical realm somewhere but i also don't want to talk to my friends or family about it but #i've been struggling in my relationship with my sexuality for the past few months and it hurts #i'm not sure i'm with the right person but the thought of that alone is scary to me #but i just feel like a huge part of my identity is missing and it makes me feel invisible #and i see all my queer friends being so validated and happy and themselves and i am so so happy for them but i feel like a ghost #now i feel like maybe i repressed myself without ever realizing it and that scares me too #I'm scared of going my whole life unfulfilled and feeling like i settled by making the wrong choice #i have never felt like i couldn't be myself but now it almost feels like i stifled myself unintentionally due to trauma and anxiety etc #i don't even know what to do so i just ruminate over this constantly now and feel awful and depressed #it's hard to even participate in my community the way i always have tried because i feel like i'm betraying myself or something #just bi/pan girly things i guess.....

[s1mpl3sp0ng3]

sometimes i watch golden girls and i just tear up remembering everything each cast member did for the queer community

estelle getty lost her nephew to AIDS and moved in with him during the last months of his life to take care of him. she started a foundation that cares for people affected by AIDS that's still there to this day. she saw one of the writers on her show was queer, walked right up to him and said "you're one of us!" and promised to protect him. she put her career on the line to become an outspoken ally of AIDS patients at a time when it would've been career suicide

bea arthur was a staunch gay and trans ally who donated a lot of her time and money to helping homeless lgbt youth. when she died, she left them thousands of dollars to stay afloat after she was gone. she was incredibly socially active in the queer community!

rue mcclanahan was a staunch advocate of marriage rights for gay couples and openly devoted her time and money for the fight for equality. she also openly participated in queer spaces and loved the community with her entire heart. she was intimately aware of gay mens' particular love for her character blanche and she fully embraced it

everybody knows by now about betty white's activism, but i'll say it anyway. not only did she join the fight for marriage equality, but she was a great mother to her lesbian stepdaughter. she participated in anti-bullying campaigns specifically against lgbt youth. she accompanied liberace to events because it wasn't safe for him to be out. she loved us and she fought for us just like the others

all four of them did SO MANY amazing things for us, and it makes me happy that we had people like them -- that we still do in people like dolly parton! we didn't deserve them. i wish i could've met all of them and told them how grateful i am!

#golden girls #that dolly parton post made me think of this

[fluffs-n-stuffs]

/vent in tags

but prof sycamore also looked very cute in this pic here and I wanted to share it

eepy french man

#having those feelings™️ again #it's just frustrating being queer in a very unsafe/hostile environment #not even just in person #but in another socmed platform that I'm active in #part of the reason why I made this acc in the first place is because I just. feel safer in a way #being my silly lil gay self making gay content #what frustrates me is how I Thought I'd never have to feel this way in that other online community I'm part of #because for a while I really was happy #I still am #-ish..... #I more so love the media itself we're a community for (not pkmn- another one I havent mentioned here) than the community itself #bc there's just that part of me that Knows how much I'd be #burnt at the stake for just loving who I do #for being Me #but what can I do really - if they knew then . well #Id lose everything. Id lose people I care about bc I know #I just know deep down that they cant accept that part of me #no matter how much theyve considered me a friend all this time. if they knew then. it . goes against what they believe in. #but then it becomes a question of whether it's even worth pretending to be something Im not just to be safe or to risk it all for freedom #that sounds cheesy as fuck but that's essentially what it boils down to #uoguhghghgngn #gonna doodle my silly beloveds just to cheer up #there are people out there who do accept me. who do make me feel safe . and that's what should matter. what I should focus on #fluff sad hours

[emberwhite]

I spent the last 11 months working with my illustrator, Marta, to make the children's book of my dreams. We were able to get every detail just the way I wanted, and I'm very happy with the final result. She is the best person I have ever worked with, and I mean, just look at those colors!

I wanted to tell that story of anyone's who ever felt that they didn't belong anywhere. Whether you are a nerd, autistic, queer, trans, a furry, or some combination of the above, it makes for a sad and difficult life. This isn't just my story. This is our story.

I also want to say the month following the book's launch has been very stressful. I have never done this kind of book before, and I didn't know how to get the word out about it. I do have a small publishing business and a full-time job, so I figured let's put my some money into advertising this time. Indie writers will tell you great success stories they've had using Facebook ads, so I started a page and boosting my posts.

Within a first few days, I got a lot of likes and shares and even a few people who requested the book and left great reviews for me. There were also people memeing on how the boy turns into a delicious venison steak at the end of the book. It was all in good fun, though. It honestly made made laugh. Things were great, so I made more posts and increased spending.

But somehow, someway these new posts ended up on the wrong side of the platform. Soon, we saw claims of how the book was perpetuating mental illness, of how this book goes against all of basic biology and logic, and how the lgbtq agenda was corrupting our kids.

This brought out even more people to support the book, so I just let them at it and enjoyed my time reading comments after work. A few days later, then conversation moved from politics to encouraging bullying, accusing others of abusing children, and a competition to who could post the most cruel image. They were just comments, however, and after all, people were still supporting the book.

But then the trolls started organizing. Over night, I got hit with 3 one-star reviews on Amazon. My heart stopped. If your book ever falls below a certain rating, it can be removed, and blocked, and you can receive a strike on your publishing account. All that hard work was about to be deleted, and it was all my fault for posting it in the wrong place.

I panicked, pulled all my posts, and went into hiding, hoping things would die down. I reported the reviews and so did many others, but here's the thing you might have noticed across platforms like Google and Amazon. There are community guidelines that I referenced in my email, but unless people are doing something highly illegal, things are rarely ever taken down on these massive platforms. So those reviews are still there to this day. Once again, it's my fault, and I should have seen it coming.

Luckily, the harassment stopped, and the book is doing better now, at least in the US. The overall rating is still rickety in Europe, Canada, and Australia, so any reviews there help me out quite a lot. I'm currently looking for a new home to post about the book and talk about everything that went into it. I also love to talk about all things books if you ever want to chat. Maybe I'll post a selfie one day, too. Otherwise, the book is still on Amazon, and the full story and illustrations are on YouTube as well if you want to read it for free.

#books #reading #childrens books #lgbtq #lgbtqia #autism #transgender #furry #therian #art #deer #queer #artists on tumblr #creativity #illustration

[vaspider]

Pete Buttigieg is just a faggot.

It's very important to me that younger queers understand this: to the people who you're trying to be more respectable for when you say things like neopronouns set the trans movement back or you're why the cishets don't accept us or including [aces/bi people with the 'wrong kind' of partners/non-binary people/kinksters/non-passing trans ppl/furries/polyam people] just hurts us, can't you wait until we get all our rights before we talk about some of yours? -- to those people? Pete Buttigieg is just a fag.

On Sunday at Pride Northwest, some kids -- late teens, early 20s -- asked what our button I survived Reagan for this? meant. All of the queer adults at the tables making up our ad hoc counter looked at each other and sighed a little. Emet and another adult started to explain the way that the Reagan Administration handled -- or didn't handle -- the beginning of the AIDS crisis. How many people died. How much we were ignored. The Ashes Action. The Time Magazine article which explicitly blamed bisexual men for passing the pandemic to the cishet community, playing on all the worst stereotypical bullshit. The way that even when the CDC started paying attention, they were so focused on gay men that they ignored AIDS in the lesbian community, leading to the "women don't get AIDS, they just die from it" poster. And so on.

I finished counting out change and passed the last Bear Pride raised fist pin over to a bear a little older than me, then turned my head and interjected, "they didn't care until it started infecting more than just the fags." I turned my head back and handed him his change. He laughed bitterly and said, "remember when they called it 'gay cancer?'"

That what I need you to understand. The people for whom you are folding yourself into smaller and smaller boxes will never see you as anything but a freak. A queer. A dyke. A tranny. A fag.

Never.

These are people who will stand by and let you wither away and die alone, gasping for breath in a cinderblock room, and not even claim your ashes, and they will say you deserve it, because of your lifestyle. If they speak of you at all it will be by the wrong name, with the pictures you hate the most. They will curse at your lover, throw him out of the home you shared, and steal the gift you gave last Christmas to throw it in the trash just so he can't have it and they'll say Jesus loves you! while they do it. They'll feel good and righteous and blessed and holy and pure for doing it.

And for them, you spit in the eye of your sister. For them, you disavow your sibling. For their sake, you trim away bits of your heart and lace yourself up tight. Never too loud. Never too queer. Never inconvenient or embarrassing, never asking for too much.

Pete Buttigieg is what happens when your Boomer dad turns out gay. Middle America. Parents still married. Suburban-sprouted. Valedictorian. Harvard-educated. Rhodes Scholarship. Military service. More power to him: I hope he and Chasten are very happy together. Genuinely, I do.

You couldn't create a more respectable gay if you grew one in a lab run by concerned voter focus groups.

But Pete Buttigieg? Is just a fag.

That's the part you don't seem to get: when they abandoned us, they abandoned all of us. Rock Hudson was a beloved movie star and even personally friendly with that horrid pair of ambitious jackals. Nancy Reagan refused to help him get into the only place in the world that could treat him at the time, and he died.

It was 1985, 4 years after the CDC first released papers on what would eventually become known as HIV/AIDS and 7 years after the first known death from an infection from HIV-2. Reagan hadn't even said the word AIDS by the time Hudson died.

Pete Buttigieg is just a fag, and so am I. Unless I'm a dyke, which seems to depend on who's yelling what from which window and what day it is.

Yes, there will be people who genuinely love and accept you. Those people are worth all the frustration of the rest, thankfully, and they're the ones who love you in a pup mask or a leather harness and a neon jock like the ones sold by the men up the row from us last weekend. They're the ones who laugh out loud when you tell them you hid the word "dyke" in your company name, the ones who love you in all your messiness and uncertainty and the way you don't fit into neat boxes all scrubbed up and clean.

Most cishets, though... well, they don't actively mean you specifically any harm, at least not when they have to look at you. Not when you're right there in front of them. Maybe they'll be okay with you, personally, especially if you're the kind of gay who makes a good rhetorical device, and as long as you remain a good rhetorical device.

They need people to know that they don't have a problem with the gays, after all, and there you are, being all convenient. You make a nice token, and as long as you do, well. You're useful.

But they call you by your deadname when you're not around, and they put the wrong pronouns in your medical record even though they met you years after you came out, and they won't put themselves out to save you. Not one little bit.

I didn't want to be here again. The year I graduated from high school was the worst year of the AIDS crisis. The world into which I became an adult was a world in which an advisor and friend to Reagan, William F. Buckley, openly advocated for forcibly tattooing the HIV status of HIV+ gay men on their buttocks (and IV drug users on their forearms), and in which my father not only told me that when I was 14 or so, but when was told me that he'd advocated for that tattoo being "over their assholes."

(Buckley wrote that in '86, but he doubled down on it in 2005.

Fucker.)

But yeah. I didn't want to be here again. I wanted my daughter to inherit a better world. I wanted Obergefell and Lawrence v. Texas and Hope & Change to really mean something. I work for it, today and all days. I haven't given up.

I need you to know that, too. This isn't a white flag. I'm not surrendering. This isn't over. To misquote Henry Rollins, this is what Marsha and Sylvia and Stormé and Leslie and Brenda and Auntie Sugar trained us for. This is punk rock time.

But I need you to understand that if Pete Buttigieg is just a fag, if that human embodiment of a Wonder Bread, mayo and Oscar Meyer bologna sandwich is not respectable enough for them -- and he's not -- then the rest of us have absolutely no hope of measuring up. Not even if we trim away every colorful, beautiful piece of our community, not even if the Sisters Of Perpetual Indulgence vanish into the ether, not even if we sacrifice the five elements of vogue on the altar of white supremacist cishet middle-class conformity: we can't trim ourselves down to something they'll accept.

The only other option is radical acceptance of our queer selves. The only other option is solidarity. The only other option is for fats and femme queens and drags and kinksters and queers and zine writers and sex workers and furries and addicts and kids and the ones who can look us in the eye and see all of us to say we're here, we're queer, get used to it just the way we did 30 years ago. It's revolutionary, complete and total acceptance of our entire community, not just the ones the cishets can pretend to be comfortable with as long as we don't challenge them too much, or it's conceding the shoreline inch by inch to the rising waters of fascism until we've got nowhere left to stand and some of us start drowning.

That's it. Either it's all of us or it's none of us, because if we leave the answer up to the Reagans of the world and all the people who enabled him in the name of lower taxes and Democrats who wring their hands, weeping oh I don't agree with it but we'll lose the election if we fight it right now, the answer is none of us.

The brunch gays can come, too, I guess.

#long post #uncensored slurs #slurs #homophobic slurs #ronald reagan's grave is a gender neutral toilet #lgbtq #queer #trans #transgender #fag #dyke #lgbt

[aptericia]

Not proud to be here.

--

Ok, here goes draft like 5 of this fucking post. I spent 4 hours tossing and turning in bed last night thinking about this, and then this morning I found a tumblr post that really helped me understand what I was trying to say.

The post talks about how aromantic "advocates" claim that "aros don't take up resources, so there's no reason not to include them!" And if that's actually what people believe, I think I can finally articulate why it is that I feel so alienated in queer spaces.

It's because aspecs in general aren't "welcomed" by much of the queer community. We're tolerated. We perhaps get the luxury of not being contradicted on our own identities, or not being specifically kicked out of LGBTQ-only spaces, but that's the whole point: what we get out of the queer "community" is people NOT doing things, not actually doing things FOR us. And that, frankly, is not enough. We deserve conversations about us. We deserve to have others consider our feelings, even when making lighthearted jokes. We deserve varied, respectful representation in media. We deserve the active deconstruction of amatonormativity in society. We deserve to have space made for us, rather than at most being told we should "go take up more space!" ourselves.

Of course, the reality is that my being aspec is a personal matter that does not inherently affect anyone else. But the same can be said for literally any queer identity. Your being gay doesn't say anything about me, so of course I shouldn't hurt you for it, but why should I help you either? Because your happiness and comfort are important. The same goes for aspecs.

And most of the time, I don't even need anyone to make space for or expend resources on me; I can live fine in everyday, non-queer-specific places without mentioning my identity at all. But it's the queer community that claims it will make that space for me, doesn't, and then acts defensive and morally pure if I call out the hypocrisy because "we're queer too, you can't erase our identities to advocate for yours!!!!"

Again, this post isn't about specifics. I have queer friends who are incredibly thoughtful and supportive about my identity, just as I have non-queer friends who are. I find more solidarity in aspec-only communities, as well as trans/genderqueer ones, although there are still many exceptions. This post is also not about amatonormative ideology, which is extremely common from queer and non-queer people alike. This post is about the reason I've felt so betrayed by the queer community.

--

On a personal note, I remember being so excited when I started identifying as aromantic (and later asexual). Fitting myself into labels has been a lifelong struggle for me; to this day I still can't confidently say if I'm White or PoC, neurotypical or neurodivergent, abled or disabled, cisgender or not cisgender. I continue to struggle making friends because I don't fall into social cliques. To discover that I officially, certainly, was LGBTQ+ lifted a huge weight off my shoulders. And now I'm just so sad to find that despite that, I'm still stuck in the middle. I didn't get rewarded with a community. I still feel alienated from both queer and non-queer people. I know it was silly to get my hopes up when there's such vast diversity in both groups, but it really was a disappointment. Going to my first Pride parade last year was really the moment where I realized this.

#my art #lgbtq+ #lgbtqia #queer #aromantic #aro #aromantic asexual #aroace #aspec #social commentary #aro tag #eyestrain #<- idk? #kissing #long post #aphobia #arophobia #vent art