#it pointed out how a lot of ppl that came out early or at least knew they were gay are sorta thrown into a crisis

[memecucker]

Thinking about this time in college when I went to a start of year party at the dorm of my friend who also happened to become my neighbor that year and she had a roommate who I kinda like immediately clicked with like we shared similar interests and we kept returning to having conversations bc it felt like we were both interested in talking to the other and when I mentioned that I had a student membership at the Art Institute of Chicago and would study in the lounge she thought that was really cool and would like it if I could show her around it later on after she’s settled in. And I was thinking oh cool I got a date with a cool neighbor girl neat plus I’m friends with her roommate. So the next week my roommates and my friend and her roommates minus the one I was interested went out and I asked about her and my friend said she was busy and same thing next week and eventually my friend picked up that I liked her roommate and she got out that the girl I liked was trying to not sound rude and actually didn’t like going to clubs and holy shit neither did I I only came because I thought she would. So my friend said that next weekend the girl is gonna be out of town but after that she’ll try one more time to get her to come and if not she’ll throw a room party so the two of us can chat again and I can ask her out. Sweet

Anyway one of the ppl she invited was an old high school guy friend that showed up a day early (while the girl I was interested in was still out of town) to stay over and also this guy was a coke fiend that brought a lot of cocaine to share and he bragged about all the cocaine and he was bad enough of a coke fiend that he was picking it out of the carpet when the lines were finished which I thought it was funny bc it was pretty fucking shitty cocaine compared to what my ex-raver roommate had and also this guy was the son of the mayor of a Chicago suburb so he obviously has never faced consequences before type and also liked heavily quoting rap lyrics with the n word and also once left me in a room with my unconscious friend and closed the door behind him as if he was expecting me to do something and was giving a courtesy. Also got the vibe he may have invited himself over.

Anyway the next day at some point around noon the girl I was interested in came back and saw someone trashed in their living room and also broke into her room and trashed it and stole basically all the valuables and yes it was the scummy rich white boy coke fiend that somehow has coke that felt like it was cut with table salt son of Chicago suburb mayor that stole her stuff and somehow thought he’d get away with it which didn’t happen because his dad has no influence over Chicago PD or the girls family who happened to be lawyers.

So obviously she changed dorms and partially blames my friend for what happened for inviting or at least not kicking out/watching that guy and they then absolutely hated each other I won’t go into all the details.

Anyway that’s the story of how I accidentally influenced a chain of events that caused the the girl I was gonna ask out to get her room burglarized and incinerating the chances of actually getting a date bc what was I gonna say “hey remember me I’m the friend of the roommate that brought over a guy that robbed you? Wanna see the Andy Warhol exhibit?”

[deluweil]

Based on the shows history with Eddie, I’m not expecting the Abuela and Shannon pop ups to do anything more then propel him into the find new wife for himself and new mother for Chris mission successful. Especially with Edy still on set and them almost being done with the season. Why bother going for a better story when a lazy makes no sense hetero story will do just fine. It’s their specialty when it comes to Eddie after all. Plus They already got that extra queer rep with Buck and Tommy 🙃

Yeah, *sigh* I feel the same on the Eddie front.

God forbid the talent that is Ryan will get a worthy story when we get two white dudes getting the interesting storylines.

I mean, much as love Buck being thrown into curious situations, I am getting tired of the storylines Eddie keep getting, because that's always more of the same, and that's exhausting.

If they weren't going to invest in his story they could have tied him to the first gf he had - being the serial monogamist that he is - and have his storyline revolve around domestic problems, new babies and managing that with work - at least we'd be clear of what his essence is aside from loving Buck like they've been married and intimate for years.

They had that queer rep with Henren and David and Michael - which WAS a great rep and such a well written relationship! I miss them and Michael's interactions with Bobby are sorely missing as well.

I don't think that Buck's storyline is as happy and healthy as ppl make it to be, Tommy literally left him for feeling uncomfortable and fibbing in front of his best friend because he's newly minted out of the closet and maybe he wanted to figure this out by himself first before sharing it with the people closest to him?

Tommy had no right to get upset, and if he wasn't sure of them, he shouldn't have agreed to go to that wedding with Buck, he should have said that he understands where Buck is coming from and to take this slow and that there is no pressure - and maybe keep this friendly until they figure out what they want to be together.

Buck, it felt to me, that has done what he did, the chasing that he said he wouldn't do, because in a certain way he is still in a place where he pleases people even though it is his journey to make and no one should push him to get to that finish line as fast as possible.

Like I said before this is more of the same, Buck does this chasing because like Taylor said, and not in a kind way mind you, that he can't stand not being liked by everyone.

Eddie nudging him to call tommy wasn't exactly the best thing either, because would Buck have still done it if he wasn't told to?

A lot of things don't sit well with me in this story, I've made journeys with my friends when they first came out, one as early as the seventh grade, it is not something that becomes normal immediately, I also saw after the fact what happened when one is shoved out of the closet to his family and friends by force. And how my best friend still bears the guilt of being gay almost 20+years later because that's not how he was raised, and his father didn't accept him, and his first serious boyfriend was a demanding asshole.

He didn't seem like this to us, he was friendly and seemed like a really good guy, but neither one of us knew what really happened there until my friend opened up about it years later.

So when I say Buck's story feels rushed, I talk from experience.

So maybe we have queer rep (which we had before only it wasn't bi) but it doesn't feel like quite there to me, maybe it's the flawed writing, maybe that's the way it was intended to be told to get to some kind of turning point and epiphanies, who knows? I've learned not to expect higher purpose from this show.

I will tell you that though, if the whole Eddie story is to push him to somehow marry M I will retire from this show, I mean that is the laziest form of writing there is, and makes this show completely unwatchable for me, because there is no way we were dragged 7 seasons just so that Eddie can force marry some lukewarm LI out of the need to follow the traditional hetero normative need he was raised into.

Especially since originally Eddie was the one who was supposed to be the coming out story, it would be disappointing on so many levels and I'm not even touching buddie here.

Ryan deserves better than to end with that kind of crappy story-telling.

#911 ask #911 spoilers #911 speculation #evan buckley #eddie diaz #flawed writing #lukewarm relationships #so done with those #buddie #not anti bucktommy but not pro so far either #it doesn't feel healthy

[mister-mickey]

Tim x Darry headconnons plz (like if they can get married or what is it like if they have an adopted child) SORRY TO ASK SO MUCH I just love this ship and its really my favorite one

THANK YOU🙏🏻

Omg tarry is my favorite pairing, I have made these little ship headcanons as well (tarry hcs)

BUT onto these ones

They mostly bond over being both the leaders of their respective gangs and over taking care of their younger siblings ❤️

They are terrible with emotions, communication between them is like pulling teeth 😭

They also have a hard time with each others siblings. Darry CANT STAND curly and is scared of Angela. Tim gets along with both pony and soda but anytime he gets them into trouble darry gets mad at him.

He’s really rather not piss his beau off

They’ve known each other since they were kids (thanks to living in the same area) but were never friends. It was only really after Darry got more involved in greaser stuff that they got along lol

Tim can’t cook for shit. He tries but it sucks so bad. Darry keeps trying to help him but Tim is unhelpable.

Darry is aware that Tim can handle himself, but still gets protective when ppl talk about him. Tim gets mad every time (but also does the same thing)

And omg I’m all the way into this list realizing that I did not answer the other part of the question so I’ll do that now

So for marriage (not legal for homos in the 60s sadly, so I’m sure it’s just a celebration among friends and family) it probably takes them awhile. I can’t imagine either of them really wanting to settle straight away. Maybe they’re in their late twenties/early thirties

Tim probably moves into Darry’s house after pony and soda move out (and after angie and curly are well off enough to be alone)

Tim probably stops gang life in his twenties, just because he gets older and more mature (and not cool anymore) darry stops once the others stop.

For the wedding, again, family and friends. Probably in the form of a cookout at their house. They get rings but I don’t think either of them wear them (they don’t seem like jewellry wearers. They probably keep them on chains around their necks)

Pony officiates lol. Idk I just feel like he would. Soda cries the whole time (Steve has to physically pull him off of darry)

I imagine dally and curly pulling some sort of nonsense at the wedding to piss Tim off (yes I’m choosing to keep dally and Johnny alive)

Tim’s gang isn’t really his family, at this point in his life, he probably doesn’t even know them anymore. So it’s just curly and Angela at the wedding for him.

Darry ofc is the one that people came to see (mr star of the show)

As for a kid, I’d like to say they probably wouldn’t have one, at least not for a while. They both raised their little siblings, they aren’t eager to do it again.

BUT it’s also cute to imagine them having a baby (especially because of how tim is canonically good with babies)

Idk where they got it. Maybe it was left in their doorstep, idk. Fact is, they have a child

Tim wants to be the cool dad but darry has taken that spot without even trying.

Baby adores darry because he’s strong and can throw it in the air ❤️

Tim is jealous ofc. He’s way cooler than darry, the baby just isn’t smart enough to see that yet

Baby still loves him a lot though 🌸

They’re good dads. Not perfect ofc, but they love the baby and the baby loves them.

Now as for the baby’s one million uncles and one aunt.

Angela LOVES the baby. Like, darry is worried she will steal it. She’s always trying to get the baby to say her name (baby calls her “Ana”)

Twobit is next on people taht are obsessed with the baby. I’m sure he has his own kids (seems like the type tbh) but the baby is DARRYS kid. He can’t wait until it’s old enough to be a bad influence on

Dallas is not allowed near the baby because Tim refuses to put the baby down when he’s around (he thinks dally will somehow corrupt his >1 year old and make it dally jr)

Soda is the best uncle by far. He and Johnny are very soft with the baby. Soda is, however, guilty of dropping the baby. He is no longer allowed to hold the baby.

Johnny is scared to hold the baby, but once it’s walking he will play (very gently)

Steve, curly, and pony are the babies worst enemies. Baby fucking hates them so much and it breaks their hearts.

Baby bites steve any chance it gets. Hits him, grabs his nose (which everyone else thinks is adorable but Steve sees it for the attack that it is) Steve has no clue what he did but the baby is his #1 hater

Baby doesn’t like pony. Wont even look at him. Pony adores the baby and this rejection hurts.

Curly and the baby tussle quite often. Baby loves yanking his curls (getting its grubbing fingers tangled in, as someone with baby experience, ow ow ow) if the baby pulls his hair, he pulls the baby’s hair right back. They are sworn enemies.

He loves the baby ofc but keeps a careful distance.

Baby grows up to be an okay kid. Can’t do anything without darry or tim finding out since they both know EVERYONE.

Idk someone name the baby my brain is mush

#the outsiders #tim shepard #darry curtis #curly shepard #dallas winston #angela shepard #ponyboy curtis #steve randle #sodapop curtis #johnny cade #two bit mathews #dim/tarry #the outsiders hcs #the outsiders headcanons

[short-black-diamond]

a maybe obey me request:

the reader is asexual and has gradually gotten along with all of the brothers except Asmo, due to a fear of how overtly affectionate/sexual the demon can be. it’s gotten to the point where the brothers devise a plan to make the reader spend some time with asmo and form a friendship; or if not an understanding that even though he’s a lot, asmo does care in his own way

Ohhhhhh I know that feeling too well my love. I hope that nobody's touching you without your consent, and if they do, call me, I'll kill them nice and slow. <3

I just can't live with the fact that some ppl ignore boundaries and so however they please like bitch can you maybe not touch me?

Your name is MC and you're a sheep in this fic

---

"Don't worry, I'm here."

The brothers felt bad for Asmo.

I mean, sure, Asmodeus was sometimes overly affectionate on purpose, but it seemed that whenever he wanted to hug MC or pat their shoulder or just touch them platonically in any way, the sheep just...looked at him with a frown and a raised hand, muttering a soft:

"Please don't do that."

And Asmodeus always pouts cutely as you walk away, and while you do, you let out a sigh of relief. You knew that Asmo couldn't really...ground his affections and desires because of his position, but he could at least tone it down with the verbal affections.

You nearly had a stroke whenever Asmodeus flirted with you, because it'd always sound sweet and you'd think he was being innocent just this once, before he ruins the mood and builds up your guard around him even stronger when he scooches closer to you with a smirk. Of course, you go away right away before he has a chance to do anything else.

...

"I feel bad for Asmo,", Levi mumbles as he fixates his orange eyes on the screen in his phone, thinking back to the time when Asmodeus tried hugging you after a compliment you gave him, but he instead crashed against the wall as you ran away.

"Me too.", Mammon mumbles as he counts a few coins he found on the way from the school to the house of Lementation. He thought back to that one time where you were forced to sit next to Asmo, who couldn't help but lean into your neck and smell at your fragrance, and you pushed him away with a disgusted face.

Of course, Asmodeus couldn't be mad at you, how would he? He already came to terms with the fact that there were some people in this world that didn't need all that body contact and pleasure, just a small high-five and fist-bump being enough for them to count as physical touch.

"Well, we certainly need a plan.", Satan speaks up as he holds up a book. "I've read that handholding is pretty popular amongst asexual people, because there are many ways to hold hands; interlacing the fingers with each other, rubbing the thumb on the other person's back of their hand, and holding pinkies.", he listed, and Leviathan blushed at the thought of holding hands with someone.

Lucifer nodded. "That's actually a good idea, but how would you like MC and Asmodeus to hold hands when MC quite literally despises Asmodeus' touch?", the eldest brother asked.

Satan raised his hands before he lowered it with a frown. "I-...don't know."

"What if they go to that scary place from the human world?", Beel asked through a stuffed mouth and Lucifer had marks in his temple as he asked Beel to swallow his food before he said something.

Beel ate up his sandwich, before he spoke about his idea. "Since October is slowly pulling up in the human world, they already have decorations for halloween...although it's like, two months too early... but still. I once went with my friends and it was rather scary..", the avatar of gluttony mumbled before he bit into the next closest burger.

Lucifer looked up in thought. "That might actually work...mammon, challenge Asmodeus and MC to go there, I'm sure Asmodeus would accept.", he ordered, and Mammon nodded.

No need to throw tantrums when he wanted MC and Asmo to get closer platonically right? Also he was glad that he didn't have to go to that spookhouse.

...

"A spookhouse? Sounds neat.", you shrugged as you looked at Mammon.

"Eh? Isn't that for younger kids?", Asmodeus asked before he looked at his nails.

"Beel and his friends went there too!", Mammon exclaimed, and for once, Asmodeus didn't hear a lie from Mammon's mouth.

"Is that a bet or something?", the avatar of lust asked, voice laced with suspisciousness towards his elder brother.

Mammon sighed in exasperation before whispering something into Asmodeus' ear. After a moment, the two composed themselves again and Asmodeus acdepted.

...

"AHH!", the blonde screamed in fear as another skeleton fell from the ceiling and nearly right on top of him. you just stood next to him, your hands in your pockets.

'Beel, why didn't you keep the spookhouse to yourself? And why is Asmodeus of all brothers here with me today?', you thought as you watched him close his eyes tightly as he hugged himself.

Now, you felt bad for Asmodeus as well. He really looked like he didn't enjoy it here, and for once, you let your guard down.

"Hey.", you spoke gently after you sat down next to him. He held his ears shut, his legs close to his chest and you didn't like the way his clothes got dirty from all the dust and dirt on the ground.

You slowly put your hand on his shoulder, and he flinched. But you pressed down, and Asmo finally opened his eyes as he had tears in his eyes.

"wanna leave?", you asked, and Asmo nodded. You stood up before reaching out your hand. Asmo looked at you with a face full of unsureness, and the question lingered in the air.

'are you really okay with that?', his eyes asked.

you opened your hand more in yes.

And he slowly brought up his hand, giving you the chance to pull back, but he got the message after your hand held his and helped him stand up.

"Let's get the heck outta here.", you said, and Asmo nodded as he wiped away his tears.

'Holding hands like this...is not so bad.', you and Asmo thought, and for once, his dirty mind was completely gone, instead having a calm and warm and comforting feeling in his stomach when he looked at your hand which was holding his tightly.

so tightly, as if to say: "Don't worry, I'm here."

And with holding his hand tightly, you and Asmodeus went home.

---

bruh I think I kinds messed it up? But I dunno, btw are you okay with handholding? Because i did and i played with the thought of maybe holding pinkies but then it wouldn't be as dramatic you know?

Anyways, I hope you liked it, and if not, tell me and I'll try to do better next time!

Read you in the next post!

#obey me asmodeus #mammon #beel #om! asmodeus #asmodeus x reader #asmo x reader #asmo fluff #asmo obey me #asmo x mc #asmo om #mammon fluff #mammon obey me #mammon x mc #mammon x reader #obey me mammon #om! mammon #mammon avatar of greed #lucifer x mc #obey me luficer #obey me beelzebub #beelzebub #obey me beel #beel x reader #leviathan and mammon are babygirls #obey me leviathan #levi x reader #satan x reader #satan obey me #omswd #shall we date obey me

[the-ghost-king]

Ngl it could have been better if their first kiss happened in the underworld in this book. And like idk some ppl already commented on this but their first kiss happening after Nico learnt about Jason's death and Will coming and kissing him is kinda.... idk. We got all of these 'first kiss' moments with the hetero couples so it could have been nice if we got once for will and nico too. I also do not understand the whole 'outing' thing. First, it was already bad in HoH. but why does Nico have to out himself to the entire camp? It's giving 'you cannot be yourself and you cannot date if you do not openly come out' energy, but you literally can... do that. And Nico outing Will makes no sense. I can understand Nico slowly opening up to others like Piper but why say it to the whole camp? The only good thing that came out of this was Nico's coming out encouraging other kids at the camp, i guess but still... unnecessary.

Everything you've said here is something I agree with and have already brought up multiple times and I expect I will bring it up again in the future as well... I would also like to mention how upsetting it is that the "you have to come out to be fully yourself" thing is aimed at teens and young adults, as if that isn't the group often most at risk for harm in that situation as they have no way to support themself if need be... Also the outing Nico had in HoH was far worse because it was malicious, but being outed unintentionally by people who are well meaning can be just as painful (trust me I've been through both lol) and difficult to cope with. A lot of the queer narrative in the book also felt "preachy" for lack of a better term, so much of it was stated instead of shown and it was like expecting you to automatically agree with what was being said and what you were being told but the way things were worded was very much so from like a queer theory lingo origin? And while I can't think of anything that was said I necessarily disagree with it was a rough transition and I think it was unnecessary as I think they would probably have slightly different culture and customs and beliefs systems around queerness being from camp and having limited internet access... The only thing I can say I liked was Nico saying he never had a moment he realized he was gay but that he was always gay and that he did instead only have a moment where he realized it was something people may look down at him for and he would have to hide/fight for, that felt very accurate to previous character set ups we've seen with him (to me at least) but otherwise he had moments where he came across as more of a mouthpiece and even though like I said I didn't think anything that was put in the dialogue was disagreeable it's still odd and poor authorship imo... And I don't personally think Will kissing Nico at that point was wrong, a little weird or odd though? definitely... It would have been nice to have Will and Nico have a first kiss in text that was comparable to the heterosexual couples in previous books in the series but even if I can't have that I would have just very much not have liked Nico to be outed again and to have that be embraced as a good thing because it once again pushes the idea that the way to be a good ally is to nudge or shove your friend out of the closet when in all actuality your job as a good ally and a good friend (even more importantly) is to wait patiently for your friend to hatch on their own terms instead of trying to crack eggs too early

I think as well having them be together almost a year and then take their relationship in the direction they did was too much... If they wanted to go the route they did with their relationship they should have only been together a couple of months, and if they wanted to have them be together longer they needed to fortify their relationship more yet they tried to do both and of course the relationship fell flat (again though, I do like the idea that love is different for each couple and I like the acknowledgement that love is a constant choice- I just find the way they arrive at that conclusion sometimes to be a little unhealthy?)

#i honestly feel totally comfortable to call Nico's second outing gross #the one in HoH felt like a message explaining why outing people was bad and this just goes and undoes all that #it feels so ooc and it's just bad representation idc if someone who was queer wrote it they shouldn't have #maybe a coming out like that could work for a different character but it should have never even been considered with Nico's history #in previous works #It's so unnecessary and I can't believe it was treated as okay as it was with no acknowledgement for the negative emotions Nico definitely #felt when it happened even if he was brave and decided to be reclaimatory about the event #so irritating #pjo #tsats spoilers #tsats #anon #asks #nico di angelo

[freckliedan]

Speaking of your first Dan vid, do you have any takes about Charlie? (Mine are 1. In retrospect she dressed like a wlw, idk but I love her. 2. I used to find her pretentious but now that she’s out as a woman I support her teenage pretentiousness. 3. There are new layers to the relationship between her and Dan, I feel like closeted ppl always have extra walls up around other closeted ppl, which is too bad bc they might have been friends in early YouTube)

i don't have like.. takes?? takes feels so detached and i'm anything but. i just remember that charlie is trans and i'm like YAY YIPPEE AND SUCH I LOVE HER ... ‼️

she was such a foundational part of my early youtube experience, one of the very few people i'd point to as a potentially bigger/more well known youtuber than dnp (at least at a certain point in time? maybe???? baby me thought that) so like. the fact that thee biggest names in youtube to me all turned out queer is amazing.

i literally texted like so many people the news when she came out. like people i fully had not talked to about youtube in years.

also. i am infinitely delighted by the fact that my husband (also trans) was absolutely having a gender about charlie circa 2012/2013. (kind of a venn diagram with matt smith at the time). i love how us trans folks end up latching on to other trans folks ages and ages before any of us even know what that spark of recognition is.

charlie didn't seem pretentious to me but that is very likely because i Also absolutely come across as pretentious (it can be argued that i am a hipster).

oh another thought: duet with myself as a trans song is SO much

& oof yeah! i feel like dnp & charlie had a lot of mutual respect, & if that could've been a friendship that was closer that would've been lovely.

#jam replies #anon #it always pings on my radar too how dan attaches to trans folks

[mccoys-killer-queen]

Seeing LA Guns for the 3rd time

this was last sunday 7/2/23

I drove 5 hours to get to western pennsylvania for this show

its the only gig LA Guns is doing in PA this year so i was extremely obligated to go

I was 4th in line for GA. This venue is like,,, primarily a restaurant? They do this thing with early entry where they sell like 100 early entry tickets and you get in an hour early

Even an hour later after like 50-100 people went inside, THE FLOOR RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE STAGE WAS COMPLETELY EMPTY??? Everyone was just off to the sides at their tables eating???

when i first got in and tried to get my photo pass, they for some reason had all photo passes listed for the opening act? so they weren't gonna let me photograph LA Guns?? so I told them that i was granted the pass from someone IN LA GUNS, and then the manager came over, took one look at the list and shook his head and waved me away and said "you're good, you're good"

So naturally of course I picked a spot right against the stage, just to the left of the center

I stood there for a bit looking around and fiddling with my camera, then suddenly I hear "did you have any problems getting in?" and I turn around to see if that person was talking to me

I turn around and who is coming up to me but none other than ACE VON JOHNSON

I was so surprised by him showing up randomly so I went "oh my god- HI???" and we hugged and he asked again if I had any problems, and I told him about the list being wrong

he told me they (the band) were having problems too (amps were still how many hours away and they were desperately trying to get them transported to the venue)

he then told me that if I had ANY problems, to come get him and I 🥺🥺🥺🥺💙💚💙💚💙

the ppl around me at the stage staring at me after Ace left because i'm That Bitch 😏

i was so giddy after he left it was SO HARD TO ACT NORMAL BC MY STUPIDLY HUGE CRUSH ON HIM JUST AVALANCHED ALL OVER ME AGAIN

there were so many lug-headed cocky old fucks bragging about their "connections" and meanwhile I actually proved it right in front of them

literally the second I saw Ace on the side of the stage, Here Comes My Girl by Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers started playing in my head

so there was no barrier... and this stage,,, was literally... a foot and a half off the ground. i was practically ON the stage. i could've just bent my knees and BEEN KNEELING ON THE STAGE

that being said, I CANNOT POSSIBLY PHONETICALLY STRESS HOW C L O S E I WAS TO PHILIP ELIZABETH LEWIS

the best description i can think of to get the point across is that I literally could've licked him multiple times if i barely leaned forward, like i had to LEAN BACK BC HE WAS PRACTICALLY ON TOP OF ME

i thought of biting him or pulling his shirt with my teeth a few times but i didnt let the intrusive thoughts win

Phil does the thing where he tucks a lil bit of his shirt into the front of his pants

WHY IS PHIL HOTTER NOW THAN HE WAS LAST SUMMER LITERALLY LIKE 👌👌👌🔥🔥

phil going "the sound system crapped out during soundcheck, so we're gonna have to do this ONE HUNDRED PERCENT FUCKING LIVEEEE"

phil going "we got ourselves a Sunday gig (bc the gig was on a Sunday) call this the Church of Rock!!!"

Phil always feeling the need to imply at every show that he and Tracii fucked

Phil giving me crazy eyes right at my camera

I caught ace looking at me at least once during the show 😳

I WAS AFRAID THE WHOLE TIME THAT HE WAS GONNA GIVE ME A PICK BC HE'S GIVEN ME A WHOLE PACK FOR FREE BEFORE PFPLSLQLGLLHFKD

phil introducing Kiss My Love Goodbye with "this song is about a lot of girls who all have one thing in common: they dumped me." *CROWD BOOS* "I know, i know! hard to believe, right?"

Phil always calling ace the young and pretty one

ace looking around then pointing at himself and going "me???" every time he does this

Ace spit on my face while he was yelling and it was magical

Phil coming to the front of the stage at one point just to fist bump me 🥺 he like was looking at me then came forward

everyone around me immediately wanting him to fist bump them too

his knuckles were COLD?

Phil literally being on top of me half the time it was magical i had to look STRAIGHT UP BC HE WAS LITERALLY 3 INCHES AWAY FROM BEING PRESSED AGAINST MY BODY

ace let me touch his guitar Uwu

at the very end of the show Ace took off his guitar and just handed it to this girl who was standing in front of him the whole time

and then he just

walked offstage

the girl (aged 21) holding the guitar was making the O_O face, motionless and holding his guitar by the neck

a roadie came over and took it back

i was so seethingly jealous of this girl at first and was like "god she's prob a pick me girl who does she think she is" and now we're friends on insta ndndkaksvkdks

i was also directly in front of Johnny the whole time and he's such a cryptid

#concert log #it's been so long since I did one of these #i'll be updating this when more memories pop up

[whoopigirlberg2015]

you will always hear me putting respect on pllos and all the actresses names bc the product was amazing but i do have some criticisms.

i love how everything had reasoning to back it. motives were there and most questions were answered. however the last two episodes were paced way too quickly. you could tell they were struggling to fit all the tied up ends into two final episodes once we got to ep 9. for instance with mouses storyline ash and her moms just show up at the motel room and everything is fine? no further explanation for what mouse is even doing and why. the back to back nature of the reveals playing out was so fast that it became a bit absurd to me. that was a good thing abt og pll was that you had plenty of eps in a season to space things in a more digestible fashion. now i do think 20 is too much but a little filler in between the heavy plot points would be nice. it’s just that the pacing was very good in the first 7-8 eps and then everything was quickly taken care of in a very dramatic way in two eps.

also again i loved the motive and explanation behind A and the actions they took but i didn’t like that we barely knew anything abt the principal other than that he was annoying and we only knew abt angela’s brother right before the reveal. wish the girls would’ve questioned the principal abt angela since he was a teacher in 99 and then we would’ve known more abt him and who he was so we could’ve been more emotionally invested in his character or had him ruled out already only to be surprised by the reveal. og pll failed in this area too with later A reveals bc ppl want betrayal which requires more work and confidence from writers and producers to ruin character perceptions of a character their audience knows or loves. if they could’ve done this right pllos would have been the perfect reboot imo. maybe with another season angela’s brother will be revealed to actually be someone we know. one thing abt me is that i’m always gonna prefer a peer as A to an adult bc get a job and stop torturing children youre 30+ years old, it’s lame behavior.

there were some pieces that should have been or need to be followed up on though. would have liked more closure on the joe situation and the waters house including the cage and dead body. why was joe there and chasing imogen like that? also didn’t like how everybody kind of just brushed past the fact that tyler was killed. he was garbage but still that’s a murder and should raise more eyebrows. and another thing, what was the deal w A’s box in imogens basement like what all was in it and what is the significance of it being an army trunk/crate? there’s a lot more that could be garnered from that. finally, i filed this away in the back of my mind early on and don’t know if it’s still relevant but did noa actually destroy the usb with the karen video? we never actually saw her do this hm.

regarding characters and actors, miss bailee madison delivered as imogen and i will see to it she receives her emmy for this bc from the screams to the chase scenes everything was on point and just calibers above what is to be expected from a project like this. i absolutely loved the main girls and the chemistry they were able to bring despite only ten eps. yes i think the chemistry came a bit fast for them almost all being strangers but they had to work with what they got. the best chemistry was that between imogen and tabby which i’m hoping develops into something more (but also faranoa hello). i need more one on one interactions between the other girls though so we can get that chemistry that came with the og girls and all the pairings. and while talking abt the girls, i wanna shout out farans arc and just how much she changed over the season bc she’s one of my faves for that. in terms of lgbtq matters, the show has widely improved trans rep in ash and love him and mouse together. mouse is also queer and love that for her and at the same time i also need wlw relationships involving at least one main girl (pls let it be noa i need to see maia reficco kissing women) so hoping for some slow burn development in s2 as previously mentioned.

i think the thing that sold me most was the aesthetics like for one, the spooky autumnal vibes no matter when the events were taking place and part of that was that they shot in the same school building as chilling adventures of sabrina and i think that set is immaculate. plus i love old school horror and they paid so much homage to that and that sells it for me above a lot of other things.

one thing that is unforgivable though is the heavy handed insertion of predatEzra (© mikes mike on yt) Fitz. like i don’t need to explain this one, i don’t want to see or hear abt him, especially not when what’s said implies and basically spells out that he and aria are a perfect and acceptable couple bc it’s a slap in the face when all throughout the season the writers consistently and rightfully denounce sexual violence and grooming behavior only to end with this after we were led to believe the reboot had tried to make up for the sins of the original. it’s ugly, sick, and twisted! and only marlene king would continually make this the hill she wants to die on but that’s a topic for another day.

#pllos #pretty little liars: original sin #my

[awsugar]

since you were around before the breakup - did people know before fiatx how charismatic and funny frank really was? or did that come out of him doing solo interviews?

hmmmm thats actually hard to say? because yes i was around pre-breakup but i was a gerard stan for yeeeeears like for ages. i definitely liked frank and he probably was my "second favorite" anyway, i did have pics of him printed out and stuck on my wall in high school lol. i didnt develop FIDS until after i saw him live for the first time though. and when you're watching interviews paying MORE attention to someone else, idk it might not stick out as much. also i have a horrible memory so asking me if i remember what my exact impression of frank was like 10 years ago. i literally dont remember.

i will say yes i think people knew that frank was charismatic and funny during mcr's first goaround. he was always the second most popular member. and i don't think that just boiled down to him being hot. like if you think about other interviews, and lotms and stuff, i think its obvious that he's got a good personality and he's funny? there's lots of good frank interview moments.

however, yea i think his time as a solo artist really solidified that. for a few reasons. partially because he just had way more opportunity to speak in his solo interviews. also because in solo interviews he doesn't have to worry about representing anyone else. i feel like if you're a member of a band and you're not gerard in this case, there might be some level of pressure to be a good representation of the group. like not in a huge way but i think it makes sense that maybe he could be more free in interviews where he only has to answer to himself. ALSO like i think his charisma and charm developed over time. at least in a public-facing way. if you watch really early interviews sometimes i cringe. he definitely learned some of it along the way, and got to a point where idk i LOOOOVE watching his interviews and listening to his podcasts etc. he's just really really good at expressing himself which i think definitely came with time.

so idk this is such a long answer i dont think you wanted this. i will say i think frank has always been funny and charismatic, to use your wording. bc like i was saying earlier man he literally is so funny and we complain about it all the time because its not FAIR. i think ppl definitely knew that pre-breakup. but i think it did become more apparent as he got more solo screen time or what have you, in additino to him using social media more during those years as well.

#anonymous #asks

[danepopfrippery]

I like how Crazy Ex Gf ended man-less. I also loooove that music was her love cuz music was my earliest love. But unlike Rachel Bloom i not only had poor parents, but i lived in a world where ‘30,000 pop city’ was ‘big’ (yet another way my hoar mother ruined my life but thats not the point). Oh and most importantly: most of it was pre internet.

I tried local vocal lessons, they were a joke and she was the only teacher 3hrs around. Id try for choir and extra choir stuff but they always left me hanging (private vocal lesson was my teacher ran an errand for 30 mins while i seethed). Band teachers were as bad and of ni help. And of course my hoar mother did nothing but discourage anything that made noise or reminded her i was alive (id walk i shit you not, 2 miles in the snow, for those useless lessons).

Later when i moved mildly less rural (nearest big town was 100,000 and half hr away) i got a better teacher and the stuff he taught me still is in there, but objectively he wasnt a good teacher (he couldnt take me beyond very basics, like shit u can knock out in 5 youtube vids now). And my lessons for vocal and piano were $50 and that was a lot for poor ppl.

When i moved to the city i tried my own vocal lessons but even when i found good i couldnt afford them w rent, and they were now $100. Id given up on piano and guitar except little bursts where id try to teach myself.

Finally i hit la and gave up entirely. Id been fighting 10 years and la rent doesnt leave room for extras. Years later i took vocal and trumpet classes at pcc which is really renowned and had pretty decent staff. I liked the vocal teacher, trumpet claimed u could be a beginner but expected u had done xyz despite that. I gave up when fibro and rent overwhelmed me. I did try harder on self voice and my asshole ex claimed he thought i was good despite 1) me never believing that and 2) not aware he ever heard me.

Back in 100,000 rural hell i took to youtube for the first time plus apps. Its early but i can tell it wouldve really made a dif back then if youtube had existed.

I guess this rant is cuz in the show Rebecca (who was bad with money and that came to a head end of s1 and then was literally never mentioned again) presumably still has enough money for equipment and frequent lessons despite pretzels. And she learns and does well in a year.

Could u imagine what america would be like if we actually supported the arts for people who dont make $100,000 a year? I hear beautiful singers all the time or at least when i used to go out. They got 5 kids and are running errands and would declare learning that stuff ‘not for ppl like us’ and/or the famous ‘wont make me any money.’

Yup in this time and place making money on art is harrrrd esp music even for big deal ppl. But why cant we just study and love it for fun? Ugh.

So i loved the ending but it did leave me a little salty

#crazy ex gf #rachel bloom #trying to learn art in the usa #being poor sucks

[catgam]

long post/cbt kink talk

i think the reason looking at cbt porn last night gave me so much anxiety is bc it caused some bad dysphoria. to the point where i couldnt sleep till early this morning. maybe bc i havent done that in a month. its interesting. im usually someone who doesnt deal with genital dysphoria in the traditional sense. but something about the social dynamics in this kink brings it to the surface. probably bc a good chunk of my life engaging in it (maybe 10 years?) i was under the belief that i had to be a guy, so maybe its the fact that it reminds me too much of egg life (eggs in this context lol)

it reminds me too much of a time in my life where i was genuinely really afraid of women bc (at least in the 2000’s) of all the horror stories and shit i witnessed with girls doing this to boys just for the hell of it. and granted that tends to just be school age behavior.

i probably internalized a lot that “this will happen to me too” “but its kind of weird that it hasnt” which is a conflicting feeling. being afraid of something but also surprised that its not happening to you. wondering if it means something is wrong with you that this normal but fucked up thing isnt happening to you. so you begin to desire what you fear, bc you will at least feel normal from having this experience, right?

and then 2015 flips everything around bc i realized i am not a fucking boy at all, and i am trans, and all these repressed trans things come to the surface from childhood

this kink then evolves to be me getting punished for my transness. yea im fr lol. plus i didnt really ever see trans girls into it for a long time (these days i do) which made me again feel weird and not normal.

“does this kink mean im not really trans? not really a girl? but what if i used this to become more of a girl??? what if it lead to the correct genital damage to become a girl?”

theres honestly too much to unpack, but i think you might get the gist of what im saying

im partly disturbed bc it always feels like it has a lot to say about gender and my relation to gender.

one thing i guess ill leave my thoughts on and this is what really makes me want to quit this stupid shit without looking back. its that ive realized why it never was happening to me. its bc i am not a guy lol

its bc i dont do the shit that makes ppl want to do this to guys. nobody wants to do this to me bc i am fundamentally, as a person, someone who doesn't deserve to be hit in the balls, and everyone can tell lol.

its like how your bullies know youre queer before you do lol

(to be clear i'm not trying to imply men deserve it either)

basically my long winded point here is this:

cbt causes me genital dysphoria bc of my complicated ass life navigating as an egg using this kink and how it all evolved post-2015 when i came out. bc it did change fundamentally when i started aggressively rejecting male identity. every aspect of it tho feels unhealthy at this point, and feels contradictary to everything im about these days. self love has never been as much of a priority to me as it has in recent months. between the cancer, the therapy, and the opening up to people much more than i ever have. before 2023 i literally never told a soul that i had a cbt/ballbusting kink bc of the shame involved. actually opening up about it has done quite a lot for me to be honest. i always expected ppl to judge me hard for it, but really nobody cares either way lol

so in a sense i have gotten a lot more closure around this topic recently. i really was feeling happy thru out may bc of me not engaging it much this month. until last night i felt sure it was over.

but i can see this isnt something i can casually be over with. i probably need to aggresively decide its over. like with any other self destructive tendancy

thank you for reading this btw it means a lot 💖

#just need to work thru this shit #not cognitive behavior therapy #lol maybe i need cognitive behavior therapy tho lmfaoooo

[still-with-koo]

it's been a long time, lilo love 🤍🌸 i hope you have been doing okay, doing your best to float when the waters have been rough; drifting in peace when they calm down, too. have you been well and healthy? has work been kind to you? i certainly hope so ;u;

2024 has been alright to me so far. i have been the most mentally sound in a while — not to say that life hasn't thrown me lemons and i've been too overwhelmed to make lemonade — but at least it's been easier to handle my emotions when things get tough. feeling particularly grown up when i say that hehe turning 28 this year so that put my head through the ringer when i realized that. (one friend gave birth last week, while another got engaged a month ago and will be getting married next march 🤯!)

i've noticed that you've been showing a lot of show content these days — i hope you've been enjoying yourself with these c: for the last while, my love and i have been going through one piece... my goodness, what an anime. have you seen it? he's recently been head over heels over the card game and i am getting into it too... just to collect the pretty cards 😤🫣 hehehe

what's new with you lately?~ i would love to know little snippets of what has been happening in your life; whatever you'd like to share of course ^^ sending you all of my love and hugs, tea and blankets (temperature is dropping again despite it being gorgeous just a couple days ago!! you stay warm out there, dearest~)

with all my heart,

cee 🤍

oh my, hello darling, it’s so great to see you!! i was actually just thinking about you the other day so you dropping by feels very serendipitous <3

i’m glad to hear you’re doing well!! that’s one of the toughest things to deal with so i’m happy to hear you’ve been able to manage it well 💕 ohhh almost 28, let me wish you an early happy birthday 🥂 but i know what you mean, it’s these stupid arbitrary milestones (like 30 for one thing, which was not a fun milestone in the lead up but ended up being pretty ok and i am very grateful to have made it this far, some are not so lucky) that take the fun out of figuring things out and actually living, you know? bestie having a kid while cut to me queuing up my next netflix ep and pouring butter on my popcorn🫢 c’est la vie and things will happen the way they are meant to all in their own time or at least that’s what i keep telling myself and my family they don’t understand it all 😭😂

ah you noticed, hehe yes kdramas are my current obsession. and i almost started the onepiece anime until i realized how fricking long it is 🫠 have you watched the live action one yet?

i’ve been in a writing/inspiration drought lately (read: for what feels like forever) and honestly kinda disappointed in some ppl (feeling sorta disillusioned in general) so kdramas have been a good distraction, esp getting to talk about them with sweet friends. and i’m also seeing someone really great who’s been so kind and understanding, came outta nowhere tbh but we’re doing really good :)

work’s been good, same old same old although one kind of cool butterfly effect came from a recent win, we had a celebratory party in which i ended up singing a few songs (a lil drunk mind you lol) and long story short my colleague’s hubby got me a lil music gig for next month. it’s not much but i’m excited🤞

i guess overall i’m doing alright, still trying to keep my head afloat despite some mental hurdles and trying very hard to get to a point where i can handle these emotional issues more easily. but i’ll get there and i’m glad to hear you’re getting there too.

how’s work been lately? i hope the patients are giving you lots of love and that you’ve settled in nicely. any things you’ve been into lately? have you been enjoying the few sunny days? had any chicken nuggets lately? 😘

i’m so happy you dropped by, been missing you lots, hope you’re keeping cozy and enjoying the bits of warmth we’ve been getting lately ☀️ wishing you lots more warmth and comfort and sending you lots of love and the biggest hugs. take care, cee darling 💕

#such a lovely surprise!! #exactly the sunshine i needed today ☀️ #missed you lots #cee <3 #letters to lilo

[dumthicc]

What do you consider to be lower class and what do you consider to be middle class like what are some of the charactericis of these classes?

While I know their are set incomes of what would be defined as lower class, lower middle class, and middle class, I dont think total household income is a good way to measure class. The cost of living is different for everyone because of different circumstances. Some people may be considered 'middle class' but may have to spend almost all of their money on medical necessities, which would leave them struggling just as much as lower class individuals.

But when I say 'middle class' families, I mean the ones that could afford to go on nice vacations [I knew a kid in my grade that would go to Disneyland once or twice a year. Meanwhile my family couldn't even leave our state more than once every 5 years... his fam was def more upper class but the point still stands], afford new basic clothing, afford nice TVs, new washing machines, decent cars, etc. And also wouldn't be completely fucked over by a simple dentist visit or a broken wrist. Families that didn't have to try as hard to 'survive'.

I kinda grew up in two homes. Divorced parents, each with different incomes. I've seen what near rock bottom looks like.

My dad was working class and made about lower middle class money- but he drove and fixed trucks and would often have to work unpaid overtime or on days he had off. He also had shit for sick days and had to work even if he shouldn't have. Most of our money was also drained from different medical and basic needs (he had 2 kids, so yeah. That's expensive...). I couldn't see a dentist for all of my early teen years. My dad had to borrow money from me and my sibling occasionally just to pay rent.

My mom on the other hand was very lower class. I saw her struggle so much to buy food and pay rent. There were many times I couldn't visit her because she had her heating shut off in the middle of winter. And doctor visits? No such thing. She struggled with addiction (most lower class individuals do), and she had to learn how to budget like her life depended on it (because it DID). The only reason she was never homeless for more than a day at a time was because of her long list of 'boyfriends of the week' that she'd go to. She had to learn how to make every penny count. She had to learn how to fix her own car, her own clothes, her own home.

So I would consider middle class ppl to be ones who can live comfortably, and can afford nice or new things from time to time, such as eating at a nice restaurant every week, or going on vacation 4 states over for a couple weeks every year. The ones that can afford to throw away a pair of shoes and spend $80 on new ones like it's no big deal. Upper middle would probably be the type of folks who shop at Sam's Club or Target and have whatever new hybrid car came out that year and probably own their own 4 bedroom home and go outside the States for vacation twice a year or more. Upper class would be more stereotypical 'wallstreet richies'.

Idk how to properly describe lower class though. There's a huge difference between living paycheck to paycheck and being actually homeless... like my dad had at least the potential for saving up for a small vacation after a couple years, but my mom couldn't even afford to buy bread. I think class should be more of a gradient scale that weighs both income and living costs rather than 3 main categories.

Also, middle class families were a lot more common in my school than other places, and it's much more likely now that the children of said middle class families will grow up to be lower class once they move out, hence why learning how to do things yourself is so important.

Sry for the long reply, I hope it answers your question.

#ask reply #asks

[lunarkittenn]

I’m hesitant to tell Hunter about what’s been going with my dad because I genuinely just a) don’t know if I can even say it out loud without ugly crying and b) am scared he’ll react the same way Chris did.

Chris was such a piece of shit about it. Actually he was a piece of shit about a lot of things but he was a huge piece of shit when it came to the topic of my dad. We had plans to hangout this one day, and I had had an awful day of an awful week. My car which had been endlessly having problems was picked up from the shop, just to have the muffler snap on the way home (literally no the way home from the shop). So much money and car stress, but that was nothing. My dog was also officially given three weeks at most to live, and diagnosed with kidney failure. Same day that I also found out my father had been waiting on test results to see if what he was experiencing was early ALS.

When I heard about that, it was honestly just debilitating. I was sobbing so hard, for hours and hours. And I just fucking remember Chris hadn’t texted me all day yet, and all I wanted was to at least have someone to talk to. I sat through homework, trying to focus, when I decided I would text him and ask him what he was up to, and he replied he was “hitting some balls with friends”.

He hadn’t texted me all day, we had plans, I was having the worst fucking day.. and he made other plans lol 😭 I called him, and I was super calm, and just explained that it hurt my feelings and I thought we had plans. He got so defensive, saying “what? Am I supposed to just say no when they ask me?” When that’s not even what I had said, I had said I’d appreciate if he just let me know what was going on. I tried to explain to him that I was having a hard day, and he just didn’t even give a fuck. At some point he said to me “hard to keep track of all your heroin junkie ex boyfriends” when I had mentioned just needing support and how that’s important to me, apparently my track record was against me was his train of thought..?

And then months later which I’ve talked about on here before we he came over knowing his roommate had Covid, KNOWING how I felt about the possibility of spreading it to my parents especially since my dad was having so many health complications already, Chris said to me “your dad seems fine to me”

Bro 😭😭😭 the horrible shit ppl do you rlly sticks. I’m having a bad morning, of a rlly tough year. My father is my favorite human in this world, and he’s having such a hard time talking man. He’s not fine. He’s fucking not and I’m fucking not and there’s nothing I can do. And I’m scared to bring it up to Hunter because I’m terrified of his reaction or maybe he just doesn’t want to hear it

#I’m just ranting #it’s easier to focus on how angry someone like Chris has made me from treating me like shit #rather than to think about my dad and the possibility of having ALS #that one makes the insides of my rib cage feel like it’s on fucking fire

[munamania]

i cant totally hate tiktok bc it did just give me some insight on something ive been agonizing over for a while

#it pointed out how a lot of ppl that came out early or at least knew they were gay are sorta thrown into a crisis #when later bloomers are just now realizing things abt themselves #and bc we weren't ever rlly adapted to 'conforming' and were used to some level of being different it just #throws a lot of things into question. and i think thats what a lot of my identity crisis has been #gender is still weird and whatever but like. i was most upset being surrounded by my weird floormates and then like #idk. seeing experimenting ppl even tho its a totally fair thing to do. and being jealous that they still go ahead and get attention #from men and use their kissing girls as a fun little thing #i mean. that is invalidating and a bit of a separate issue that rlly pissed me off lol but such is life #anyway i just think it explains a lot. not to be all coming of age movie but ive known i was different for a long time and never rlly tried #to pretend and im rlly rlly fortunate and privileged to have been able to just exist like i recognize that #but also it's made things rlly rlly weird since im coming to a place where a lot of ppl dont know these things and are questioning #and ofc theres no problem w that! it's just a bit difficult never having other ppl that do feel comfortable with non-conformity #i think that makes sense. bc it does make me feel like an outside. not as much when it's other queer/questioning ppl #but yeah. idk #in middle/hs i had people around me that were also gay and trans etc and/or were at least used to their friends being out #so like. college is fucking weird! it feels backwards to me lol #anywho that was a rant but ya #abby talks

[traumxrei-archive]

Just my opinion about Leona. Some people think him showing some vulnerability is too OOC for him, but to me it's not. They forgot that he's still a person with feelings, he just doesn't want everyone to see his vulnerability as he thinks it's a weakness and feels that no one wanted him, even if there many who cares about him. He grew up being hated for no reason that's why he's bitter, at least now, he gets better.

anon omg i could talk abt leona all day so you should prepare yourself bc this ended up being really long-

i think that my views on him match yours too ! vulnerability isn't something he would show easily. rather it's earned. you have to earn his trust in order for him to show the inner parts of him that he works so hard to hide. again, it comes down to the idea that showing feelings = being weak.

thinking about it, it probably took a while for him to trust ruggie enough to wake him up + take care of his food each day. some ppl always reduce ruggie to just an errand boy bc he's being paid, but like... you do realize that leona is still a prince. there's still people out there who might want to harm him or just have overall bad intentions towards him.

so the fact that he trusts this hyena he met school to wake him up from his sleep (where he is vulnerable to attacks) AND with his food (again, poison exists everyone) ? you know that their arrangement isn't just based off the money that leona gives ruggie, there's also a basis of trust there.

[ if you'd like to hear me continue to rant abt leona, go ahead n read below the cut ! ]

though with ruggie the mutual agreement kinda helps him keep distance, bc he can still put a wall up and say "this guy is only helping me bc i'm rich. i'm paying him to do all this." which is true in part, but also at this point in time ruggie's literally leona's right hand man. this is the kinda thing i see leona doing though, he always has counter-measures in place to make sure people don't get too close.

AND ANOTHER THING: i've heard someone say this before and i think about this all the time but leona cares too much. like behind the callous attitude and his biting words, he cares about what people think. why else do you think his overblot memories showed him listening to the people gossiping about him ? he has always cared. about what people said about him, about his impression on people...the way they viewed him affected the way he viewed himself, essentially.

think about it. he was born a second prince. he was blessed with a strong magic from an early age. we know how destructive king's roar can be, so imagine how hard it was to control if you were a child. he was constantly shunned because of his magic, and being compared to his older brother. thus fueling his hatred of the throne and his powers. he was told over and over that he would never be king because falena is there. and when cheka was born, it effectively made him useless to the kingdom. the best he could do was marry with other royalty for the sake of the kingdom and he knows that.

he's smart. he knows he couldn't possibly make a king out of himself by overthrowing falena. no one in sunset savanna would accept a king who killed his own brother. and deep inside i know he cares for his brother. he resents him because of the easy life he had, but he knows that it wasn't falena's fault he was born the second prince. it wasn't his fault those people whispered about him behind his back. and it's his brother. his family. i'm sure he cares for him to some capacity.

and with cheka too, a lot of ppl love to pull out the "bad uncle" card. but notice that he had never done anything to hurt cheka ?? he also never forcefully sends him away. like when he came in the aftermath of book 2, leona complained a bit but kept an eye on him until his attendants came bc he knew it'd be dangerous to let him roam around alone.

however much he resents cheka's existence itself, he doesn't resent cheka. cheka's just a kid. a kid who looks up to him, of all people. so i wouldn't say that he's a bad uncle. he's literally never taken care of a kid before so ofc it's awkward. also he has a reputation n again, he wouldn't just flaunt his weaknesses. he probably likes the little guy and finds him kinda annoying bc of how high-tension he is.

i feel like with a lover, or someone he potentially liked, all of this stuff would be multiplied. like he would hate to seem weak in front of them, but he also wants to keep them at arm's reach bc, obviously, he cares for them. he wants to trust them but he also doesn't want to let anyone that close to him so it becomes contradictory. he would test them and prod but as soon as they try to turn it into something serious he would lash out; say hurtful things so that they would leave him alone just like everyone else. if they manage to somehow keep up with his push-and-pull, then maybe he would actually let them in.

one more thing: i don't believe that loving someone, or letting someone in his walls can fix his traumas. that's another thing i see being perpetuated within the twst fandom. nothing is just. gonna make all those years of trauma disappear. especially not love. that's not how trauma or love works. that's just...belittling the characters we love so much. though loving someone may help in different ways, it can't just erase everything.

having someone may help leona feel less bitter, but he's still going to long for the throne. he's also never going to be able to let go of the fact that his power can put people in danger. maybe his attitude may change slightly because he allows himself love. but leona's leona. he's not going to suddenly undergo a massive change and get a personality transplant just bc he ends up loving someone.

to end it off, all of this is something i really want to explore in a fic one day. i want to write something that just. goes in depth with him. one day !! one day i will make something so angsty and pining bc that's literally leona kingscholar's middle name. leona "angsty and pining" kingscholar. has a good ring to it, huh? if you've read this far, wow, uh sorry for rambling so much ? i hope you enjoyed my personal take on leona's character ^^

#/trau replies #/anonnie #leona kingscholar #character study #twisted wonderland #twst analysis #welcome to my leona analysis #bc i think abt this man too much #ty anon for enabling me to rant abt dummy lion #jfc this ended up long #leona kingscholar x reader