#gender is still weird and whatever but like. i was most upset being surrounded by my weird floormates and then like

[wild-at-mind]

As of time of writing, Rishi Sunak is still refusing to apologise for the jibe at trans women in PMQ. (Apologise specifically to Brianna Ghey's parents, her mother at least being definetly present at the time.) What will the fallout for this be? This is only days after normally transphobic tabloids splashed the mugshots of Brianna's killers all over their front page with headlines like 'PURE EVIL'. It seemed the spectacle of 16 year old murderers overrode the fact that they normally don't care about trans people. Rishi's remark streamrolled one of the most important optics rules on most parts of the political spectrum- don't say things that upset the grieving family. On the other hand, Sunak was making a jibe that revealed the fact that most people currently in UK politics seem convinced that if they say 'trans women are women' it will not only prove catastrophic for their chance of being elected, it will also cause mobs of people to thrust stats at them supposedly proving that cis women will be in mortal danger. And that may happen! The statistical evidence isn't there at all, though, so I believe it would come to nothing if he rode it out. Anyway, it's the right thing to do. I believe that after a certain point, continually insisting trans women are not women makes you look deranged. I have a trans woman friend who told me she once asked a transphobic/gender critical aquaintance of ours during calm conversation 'how do you see me? What am I, if not a woman?' The aquaintance said 'you're a man dressed up.' Now, these gender critical people claim to be super duper pro GNC cis men (they aren't, because they are worried the GNC cis men might start IDing as trans, and they hate men anyway especially weird queer ones, so it's a non-starter.) But this person was essentially telling my friend 'you aren't what you have clearly demonstrated yourself to be'. It's often said that 'trans women are women' is an opinion, but in my eyes saying that trans women are not women is an opinion. This aquaintance was saying what she had been indocterinated to believe by her TERF online circles, and I don't think she's reachable (my friend is no longer trying, it was a one off conversation as far as I can tell). I've said this before but I maintain that politicians should stop dignifying the question of 'what is a woman? Define what a woman is!' because it's a question that is never asked in good faith. It's a gotcha, and you don't need to answer it and fall into whatever trap they are setting. You just need to put forth policies that support both cis women and trans women- showing support with your deeds and words. And Starmer should have a fucking backbone- Sunak isn't wrong there. If anything what Sunak did was very revealing because it shows he's used to being surrounded only by people who guffaw at the very idea that 'trans women are women' is something true in both theory and practice. Meanwhile trans people are becoming more visible and I truly believe within 20 years, both Sunak and Starmer will look like dinosaurs in much the same way as the homophobic politicians of yore were following a public zeitgeist that was quickly becoming outdated. It's a shame we never seem to learn from the past.

#uk politics #rishi sunak #keir starmer #transmisogyny #btw i don't know the stats on how many trans women there are in the country but 0.1 % seems on the low side #although technically it doesn't count the ones who have had bottom surgery i guess..??? #they don't like those trans women obvs but they know the scary power of the penis as a rhetorical device #btw i swear to god if someone assumes i'm saying homophobia no longer exists- no! #i'm saying the way it is publically acceptable in the political sphere (and all social spheres) to talk about gay people has changed a lot #it is no longer acceptable to express from a position of power that it is not good (or at least neutral) to be gay. #that is why homophobic evangelicals feel themselves super oppressed and marginilised- one of the many reasons #also note that cis gay people are being used as a chess piece in the trans kids argument- these poor kids are just gay! #gay is ok now as long as the foundations of gender can stay the same #they are still homophobic but it's just different. That's all i mean.

[munamania]

i cant totally hate tiktok bc it did just give me some insight on something ive been agonizing over for a while

#it pointed out how a lot of ppl that came out early or at least knew they were gay are sorta thrown into a crisis #when later bloomers are just now realizing things abt themselves #and bc we weren't ever rlly adapted to 'conforming' and were used to some level of being different it just #throws a lot of things into question. and i think thats what a lot of my identity crisis has been #gender is still weird and whatever but like. i was most upset being surrounded by my weird floormates and then like #idk. seeing experimenting ppl even tho its a totally fair thing to do. and being jealous that they still go ahead and get attention #from men and use their kissing girls as a fun little thing #i mean. that is invalidating and a bit of a separate issue that rlly pissed me off lol but such is life #anyway i just think it explains a lot. not to be all coming of age movie but ive known i was different for a long time and never rlly tried #to pretend and im rlly rlly fortunate and privileged to have been able to just exist like i recognize that #but also it's made things rlly rlly weird since im coming to a place where a lot of ppl dont know these things and are questioning #and ofc theres no problem w that! it's just a bit difficult never having other ppl that do feel comfortable with non-conformity #i think that makes sense. bc it does make me feel like an outside. not as much when it's other queer/questioning ppl #but yeah. idk #in middle/hs i had people around me that were also gay and trans etc and/or were at least used to their friends being out #so like. college is fucking weird! it feels backwards to me lol #anywho that was a rant but ya #abby talks

[alaskasmonsters]

bnha boys with an infp s/o

— shinsou hitoshi, kaminari denki, todoroki shouto, takami keigo

requested by @aurodontdoit​ and 2 anons

mbti hcs masterlist | Part 2

a.n: here it is. another part of the mbti hcs requests! i realize some of you have sent in requests a long time ago and i truly am sorry that you have to wait so long, i struggle balancing so many requests at once so thank you again for your patience and for anyone who is willing to wait until i move my ass! you’re the best and honestly so lovely! 💕💕

reader is gender-neutral!

shinsou hitoshi

shinsou and you start out as the bestest friends before dating was ever in the picture

you get along great

because you have similar interests and found fascination in the theoretical

after the clock hits midnight your conversation gets really deep and very philosophical

one little issue the two of you might encounter is how the two of you deal with your more emotional rooted side and shinsou’s logical side

while shinsou is deeply rooted in reality and prefers living in the moment you’re a little more “naive” as he would call it

you believe in true love and need an emotional connection to your friends and s/o first and foremost

shinsou struggles with said emotional connection

he might have a hard time sometimes understanding exactly what you need emotionally

so you do have to be straightforward with him

shinsou appreciates being told exactly where you stand and how exactly you’re feeling

you have no issue with empathising or understanding emotions so you quickly notice when shinsou is stressed out

but despite those differences

as long as you’re open to communicate and not withdraw you won’t have too many issues

considering how much you enjoy conversations with each other

and you love spending time with each other

spending time with the other still feels like alone time and for introverts like the both of you that means a lot

it’s like the best kind of company

and yes, you enjoy it so much!

kaminari denki

denki was one of the most energetic people you’ve ever encountered

quite literally

he did have his quiet moments, for sure

but most of the time he bounced ideas off on you like there was no tomorrow

denki talked a lot, and it didn’t always seem like the most rational thoughts

but although denki’s endless flow of energy had utterly exhausted you at first

...you kinda got used to it

and grew to love it, too, as the two of you grew closer

denki was an out of the box thinker, always coming up with new ideas

and you loved listening to them, because they were just so interesting and weird and denki

but like you mentioned, denki was very energetic and very very extroverted

he loved spending time with his friends at all time

and you tended to get a little drained when surrounded by too many people

you like small groups much more and thankfully, while denki was strolling around and being friends with anyone he could find, he also had found himself a small group of friends as well

friends he loved to lovingly force you to hang out with

you liked them so you didn’t complain all too much

sometimes your boyfriend can be a little (very much) emotionally clumsy

especially when it comes to some of the jokes me makes

which makes him seem insensitive

but you knew deep down he didn’t mean it

and as soon you make it clear whatever he did or said upset you, denki is on his knees

he is super dramatic, pleading you for forgiveness as he bows deeply

he’s such a dork about it and you can see he actually feels sorry

he doesn’t like being the reason you’re upset

so you never stay mad for long

despite his bad grades in school denki was actually really smart

and he loved learning! when it was something that interested him that is

which was great because you loved that, too!

If it was video games, art, science or anything cultural, denki and you always found something new and exciting to teach each other

takami keigo

keigo is quite the energetic and charismatic person

he is an attention drawer (not only because of the wings or his pro hero status) but also because he, as a person, just attracts people’s attention

you are more quiet and reserved

if it wasn’t for keigo approaching you you were sure the two of you would have never started a conversation

as he was loud and bright and you wouldn’t have thought you’d get along well

but as soon as the two of you get to talking you noticed how you could get along quite well

keigo was smart

he sounded smart, too

he has a logical and rational approach to most things in his life and it shines through in conversations

you are more emotional and you fear that might be a problem

it wasn’t

surprisingly so

keigo was always happy to hear your thoughts

even if it didn’t agree with what he already knew of

more so he seemed really interested in how you saw the world

and when you return the sentiment he’s even more excited about it

keigo is quite clumsy with the emotions part in relationships

he’s very touchy and likes to show you affection that way, more than he just outright tells you

and sometimes he gets so lost in his work that he forgets about everything else

but as long as you still listen each other out everything will work out fine

keigo always liked to call you two a power couple after all

and you had to agree

todoroki shouto

shouto is a little bit hard to get to know at first

he’s very closed off emotionally, seems cool and aloof even

you struggle a little (a lot) getting to know him as he was quiet, even around the people he felt most comfortable with

and it takes you a while but you start to see glimpses of who he was

like that he is very observant and caring, more than you had expected at first

it caught you off guard

in a very positive way

and you and  shouto get along quite well now

while you do like hanging out you respect each others space (and shouto really appreciates that)

you’re both quieter in general but when talking to each other it was different

you don’t think you’d describe shouto as talkative in any circumstance

but there was this look on his face when he enjoyed participating in a conversation

and his tone of voice was so much lighter than it usually was

less serious and stiff, more relaxed

and it made your heart stutter

another area where you struggle a little bit adjusting with each other

after you started dating that was

was how you liked to go along the day

shouto loved planning everything out and he loved structure

you wouldn’t have thought so but he’s almost as bad as deku in that area

without the whole face buried deep down into a notebook part

but he liked things organized and you were a little...all over the place

you didn’t think you were too bad, just a little more easygoing

shouto heavily disagrees

and sometimes you really have to hold him back not to “help you” have more order in your life

you do kind of try to meet him in the middle though

Promising to at least be on time...as well as you can manage that is

he’s okay with that

Taglist: @crystal-lilac​ @duf3h6237​ @hufflefluffslytherin​  @chucky-26o1​  @crapimahuman​

#shinsou hitoshi #shinsou x reader #todoroki shouto #todoroki x reader #hawks #hawks x reader #denki kaminari #kaminari denki x reader #shinsou headcanons #shinsou hitoshi headcanons #shinsou hcs #kaminari fluff #denki x reader #kaminari denki headcanons #denki hcs #todoroki headcanons #todoroki shouto x reader #todoroki shouto headcanons #hawks hcs #takami keigo #keigo takami headcanons #keigo takami fluff #bnha #mha #bnha fluff #mha fluff #bnha hcs #mha hcs #todoroki fluff #hawks fluff

[guardianofrivendell]

Reckless

Meludir x gender neutral reader

Requested: Yes! Anon asked: “Hello, can i please get a oneshot between meludir and reader where reader is injured from an orc attack and meludir is looking after them?”

Warnings: I tried to write something fluffy, I really did, just a normal fluffy kind of oneshot but the force of sarcasm and sass is too strong! 

A/N: I didn’t know Meludir that well, and there isn’t much information about him besides that he’s from the Mirkwood guard, so I just went with my own interpretation of his character. This was also a request that was long overdue (by now all of my requests fall into that category, I AM SO SORRY).

“I can’t believe we’ve waited so long,” Meludir chuckled, gently wiping the hair out of your face.  

You were both relaxing together at the edge of the forest, right at the other side of the bridge where the trees stopped and the palace grounds began. It was one of the more quieter spots in the kingdom, away from all the hustling and bustling of the palace, but still close enough so you would notice if something was wrong. Your sense of duty as a member of the Mirkwood Guard was never far away, even if you had some time off.

Meludir was sitting with his back against a tree, your head resting in his lap, your eyes closed. One of his hands was intertwined with yours and the other one was now lazily going through your hair. For a moment it felt like it was just the two of you, and time stood still. 

“Maybe we were a little too blind to see what was right in front of us,” you said in response, and brought the hand that was going through your hair to your lips to kiss it, marveling at the softness of his skin. “But I’m glad our eyes finally opened, Meludir. I don’t think I could have gone another day dancing around each other, meleth nin.”

Meludir hummed softly and placed a kiss on your forehead. “I could not agree more. Gi melin, mîr nin. An uin.” (I love you, my treasure, forever)

He then started singing to you, his voice soothing and barely above a whisper. You focused on the caresses of his thumb on your hand, and when his fingers started gently scratching your scalp, you felt yourself slowly slipping away. 

“Sleep, meleth nin. Sleep, my one true star.”

The high-pitched scratching of a chair dragging across the floor pulled you out of your more than pleasant dream. 

You desperately tried to focus on the last images which were still lingering in your mind but alas, the loving words sung by Meludir were slowly replaced with the soft thumping of a massive headache and your head was no longer resting on his comfortable lap but on a fluffy pillow instead. Which was also nice but, you know, not the same. 

Someone took your hand in theirs, followed by a soft squeeze. No, no, no, you weren’t ready to wake up yet! You weren’t done with that dream! Who needed the cruel reality where your best friend was just that, your best friend - with the emphasis on friend - while in your dreams he was your intended? So hello dreamworld it was! 

You tried to turn on your side so you could try and go back to sleep, but as soon as your right leg shifted just the tiniest bit, a shot of pain went through it, setting it on fire and making your body go rigid. 

Okay, so moving was a big no no. What happened to you?

You inhaled a little deeper to try and breathe through the pain, when the scent of herbs and starched linen filled your nose.  Wait a minute... The pain in your leg, the smell of herbs and linen���  This was not your own comfortable bed you were lying in! 

You were in the healing wing! 

Okay… Maybe you should open your eyes and check? Just to be sure?

But you were rather comfortable if you were being honest - if you didn’t count the slight throbbing in your head and your leg that was still hurting - and as long as your eyes remained closed, you didn’t have to deal with the aftermath of whatever happened to you. 

Better make the most of it and try and sleep some more! 

But alas… there was no rest for you when flashes of what had happened shot through your head, making you forget about the pain for a moment. 

You had been on a patrol through the deeper parts of the forest with your friend Meludir and a few other guards when you’d stumbled across a couple of spiders. Despite being far outnumbered by the vile creatures, you came out victorious, but you couldn’t prevent some of the less experienced guards from getting hurt. While you were taking care of their injuries, Meludir had spotted an orc pack in the distance. 

So of course you had to go after them… By yourself, leaving a very upset Meludir with the wounded. You’d deal with him afterwards. He will come around eventually, he always did. That’s why you were such good friends. 

You were all about impulsive decisions. It’s what made you join the Mirkwood Guard in the first place and usually that turned out for the best. This time? Hmm… not so much. 

You were caught off guard during the fight and suffered a stab wound in your leg because of it, there were simply too many Orcs for you to face alone. Oh you could almost hear Meludir’s ‘I told you so’! While you were distracted trying to get the dagger out of your thigh as soon as possible - afraid it was poisoned - one of the remaining Orcs saw its chance and charged at you. Your reflexes were too slow and you failed to deflect the hilt of his sword. That’s when the lights went out. 

“Y/N?”

Another squeeze in your hand. 

Seriously, how impatient can someone get? You were sleeping! Or trying to, your leg was still hurting after all. Didn’t they teach them how rude it was to wake a sleeping, injured person? Not good for the healing process! 

But the sounds surrounding you were getting louder, reverberating against the insides of your skull and making your head throb even worse. Guess that blow to your head actually did do some damage there. Better keep those eyes closed for a while longer, you thought. 

But you were also curious, and you couldn’t help trying to concentrate on the sounds closest to you. You could hear a voice talking softly to themselves, it sounded oddly familiar, it had sung to you in your dream not ten minutes ago. Meludir…

You suddenly remembered who exactly you were dreaming of a few moments ago. Oh Eru, you didn’t talk in your sleep right?!

“I know you’re awake, Y/N.”

Yeah, that was Meludir alright. You could almost hear the smirk coming through his voice. The hand covering yours was probably his too. 

Oh, he was not going to like this. He’s probably worried sick, or angry. Or both. Either way, you were in trouble. 

You opened your eyes a little to take a small peek. If there was even the slightest hint of anger on his face, you were going to pretend to be asleep for a little while longer.

Meludir seemed relaxed at first sight, his elbows were resting on his knees, his hands holding onto your left one. He was still wearing his uniform, covered with blood stains from the encounter with the spiders, and you noticed some black Orc blood as well. But he was unharmed, thank the Valar. 

His dark eyes were already staring at you as soon as your eyes met his, boring into yours with such an intensity that you couldn’t help but look away in shame...  Busted.

“I can’t hide anything from you, can I?” you tried to joke, trying to assess his current mood. He looked like he was relieved to see you awake. This might not be so bad after all.

Oh how naive could you be...

“Now that you’ve finally opened your eyes...” he began. 

The relief that was etched on his face slowly turned into anger. Uh-oh. 

“What were you thinking, Y/N?!” he whisper-shouted, smacking your arm. 

“Hey hey, no assaulting the injured!” you protested, grasping your arm.

“Your arm is fine! Wish I could say the same about your leg and your head,” he huffed.  

You rolled your eyes and let go of your arm. 

“Both are still attached to my body so clearly you are overreacting, Meludir!”

“I am overreacting? Who exactly went after an entire Orc pack by themselves?! You! And without even telling me, you just ran off!” he ranted, seeming to forget he was in the healing wing. “You could’ve died, Y/N!”

“But I didn’t,” you countered. 

Meludir rushed to stand, his swift movement unbalancing the chair. 

“But you could have! I could have lost you!” he snapped, his hands going through his dark hair in frustration. 

You didn’t know if he said that last sentence to himself or not, but this was the first time you saw him in such a state and you didn’t know what to think of it. 

You hated it when Meludir was angry at you. He just had to get it all off his chest, you knew that, but that didn’t mean you liked it when he yelled at you.

One of the healers nearby reprimanded him for raising his voice, and that seemed to calm the Mirkwood Elf a little. He looked at you apologetically.  

“I’m sorry I yelled at you, I was just- Never mind…” He took a seat on your bed this time, carefully as to not hurt your leg. “Tell me, how are you feeling?” he asked, taking a deep breath. 

Oh. Okay, we finally have worried Meludir. That’s a good thing. You could work with him.

“Killer headache and as long as I lie still, I should be fine. I’ll be back up in no time.”

“You had me- and us, you had us worried there, Y/N.”

Meludir’s hand wrapped around yours again. Weird, since when did you guys start to hold hands this much?

“Awww, you were worried about me?” you teased him, trying to ignore the strange feeling in your stomach when you looked at your joined hands.  

“Y/N, I found you unconscious and bleeding on the ground with Orcs leaning over you. Of course I was worried!” he raised his voice, his eyes wide in concern. “You were out for several hours!”

After a few seconds Meludir let go of your hand and sighed. 

You finally got a good look at him and you noticed his hair was messy, some strands sticking to the side of his head. He looked tired, you didn’t think you ever saw him tired before. He was a complete mess. Very unlike him.

The poor Elf had probably been at your side the whole time. Guilt started settling in your stomach.

“I’m sorry I made you worried,” you apologised, “I’ll be more careful next time.”

Meludir chuckled. “Yeah, we both know that’s not going to happen.”

You lifted your head a little to look around, and you were surprised to see the other beds empty. Where were the other guards?

“How are the others?”

“Some scratches and minor injuries, a few spider bites. Nothing the healers couldn’t fix. You were worse off than them,” he smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes. 

You let your head drop back into the pillow dramatically, relieved to hear the others were fine. But something still bothered you.

You rolled your head to the side to look at him and pointed at his chest.

“Why is there Orc blood on your uniform?”

“Well, someone had to finish what you started.”

Is that a smirk you saw? The cheeky bastard!

“Oh, just you wait until I get back on my feet, I’ll happily remind you who’s the better fighter,” you challenged him. 

“That’ll take some time, the healers said you can go to your own chambers once you wake up, but…”

He didn’t finish his sentence, instead looking at you in apprehension. 

“What? What’s with the dramatic pause?”

“You have to stay off guard duty for at least two weeks. Orders from the healers and King Thranduil.” 

“What?” you gasped, and you winced when you sat up a little too fast and careless, hurting your leg in the process. Your hand flew towards your thigh and you saw Meludir’s hands doing the same. 

“Don’t hurt the messenger! Or yourself!” he joked, but you didn’t miss the slight hint of fear and worry in his eyes. Good.

“Meludir,” you whined, dragging out his name, “you don’t understand! I’ll die out of boredom!”

“Your wound needs healing, Y/N. You cannot use your leg and you need your rest.” 

He grabbed your hand and traced your knuckles with his thumb. 

“And in the meantime I’ll be there to take care of you.”

Oh. Oh.

Well in that case...

He squeezed your hand again, and smiled at you. It lit up his entire face, and you couldn’t help but mimic his expression. Maybe with him as your private nurse it wouldn’t be so bad after all. The prospect of being carried around by Meludir all the time made it all seem almost enjoyable. 

“But before I carry you to your chambers, I need you to explain something to me first, if you don’t mind?”

“Of course, what is it?”

The corner of his lip twitched and his entire demeanour changed. 

“Why did you call me ‘meleth nin’ in your sleep?”

Permanent taglist: @roosliefje​ @kata1803​ @entishramblings​ @artsywaterlily​ @sleepy-daydream-in-a-rose​ @marvelschriss​ @kumqu4t​ @myrin1234​ @dark-angel-is-back​ @the-fandoms-georgie​ @lathalea​ @xxbyimm​ @sokkasdarling​ @katethewriter​ @aredhel-of-gondolin​ @leethology​ @elvish-sky​ @moony-artnstuff​ @kirenia15​ @hey-its-nonny​ @moarfandomtrash​ @beenovel​

#Meludir x reader #Meludir x gender neutral reader #Meludir #The Hobbit #The Hobbit Oneshot #The Hobbit fanfiction #The Hobbit Imagine #Meludir Oneshot #Meludir Imagine #Mirkwood #Mirkwood Guard #Mirkwood Elf

[salazarslytherin]

happy days (f.w x gn!y/n)

requested: nope! send in your own requests here!

summary: in which fred takes y/n on a special date

cw/tw: like maybe 0.5% angst, 99.5% fluff

word count: 2.9k

🃛 masterlist!

a/n: i'm pretty sure reader is gender neutral in this one! i made sure not to use any pronouns or prominent mentions to y/n's body or anything. i really hope y'all like it, i don't really ever write fluff so i hope it's good! please leave a comment, like or reblog to help boost xx

“Jump!”

“What?! Are you insa-”

⚔︎.

It was probably a bad idea to be doing this. Actually, it was most definitely a bad idea to be doing this. But when has a ‘bad’ idea ever deterred the infamous Fred Weasley? In fact, the thought of anyone calling one of his ideas ‘bad’ just spelt encouragement in Fred’s mind.

You’d learnt that lesson two months into meeting the Weasley twins, and it’s only engrained itself in your mind further since. There’s never been a point to try to dissuade Fred, it’s best to just go along and hope the ride isn’t too bumpy along the way. After dating Fred, these bad ideas had expanded themselves to different categories- risky places to be intimate, weird ways to cheer you up with confessions of love, and dangerously stupid dates.

The last category was where today’s bad idea landed.

⚔︎.

Three days ago, Fred had the “most ingenious, marvellous, uniquely exciting date idea Hogwarts has ever seen!” He’d disappeared in the middle of lunch, dragging George along with him, mumbling to himself, “I can’t believe I didn’t think of this sooner!”, leaving you confused, sat alone in the Great Hall.

“Where are they going?”

Harry, Ron and Hermione popped up behind you, seating themselves down in the twins’ now deserted seats.

“I have absolutely no clue.”

⚔︎.

That’s how you found yourself here, two days later. A Saturday, you were all set to go on a Hogsmeade trip with some of your Ravenclaw friends when Fred ambushed you. Popping up out of a closet and scaring the living lights out of you, he dragged you behind him, laughing as you shouted at him.

“Freddie! What are you doing? I’m supposed to go meet Renee and the others right now!”

Regardless of the fact that Fred was making you miss plans you’d already made, you were beaming from ear to ear.

“Georgie’s already told ‘em you can’t make it. Now hurry up

This being your OWLs year, you’d hardly had the time to see Fred this term, busy studying while he went off doing whatever it was he did when you weren’t around. Being a year younger meant he had already studied everything you’d studied, and while he offered to help you a lot, you’d rather he go have fun than sit around revising old material with you.

Combined with the Triwizard Tournament and the fact that the twins saw this as the golden opportunity to sell products to customers other than Hogwarts student, you’d only had three dates in the almost three months since school had started.

“Where in the name of Merlin are you bringing me, Fred!”

“You’ll see soon enough darling!”

⚔︎.

Soon enough turned out to be ten minutes later, the two of you panting as you’d finally made it all the way across to the other side of the castle and up the stairs to the Astronomy Tower.

The sun was shining brightly down upon the two of you, the tall windows welcoming the late November winds into the room. A chest sat next to one of the ledges, Fred finally letting go of your hand for the first time in ten minutes, reaching down to open it.

He took a piece of cloth out, closing the chest before you could sneak a peek at the contents, tucking the wooden box under his arm.

“Is this the brilliant date idea you were talking about the other day? I’m not going to lie to you Freddie, cloth doesn’t really scream ingenious to me. In fact, it seems like you brought me up here to clean.”

Raising your eyebrows at the ginger, you gestured at the fabric in his hand as he laughed at you, stepping up onto the ledge.

“Fred? What’re you doing?!”

The boy turned towards you, holding out a hand.

“Come up here.”

Your eyes widened.

“No! Are you insane?”

Fred’s hand faltered a bit, arm relaxing against his body as he looked into your eyes.

“Do you trust me?”

Silent, you stepped up next to Fred, clinging onto his hip and arm, knees shaking slightly at the height you were at.

“I trust you with my life.”

Adjusting the chest under his arm, Fred pulled you into his embrace.

“That’s good to hear. Because it’s time.”

He looked down, dropping the piece of cloth, before tilting your head up to look at him, stepping one foot off the ledge and into the skies.

“Jump!”

“What?! Are you insa-”

You were cut off by screams erupting from your mouth as the ground disappeared below you- Fred pulling you with him, laughter bubbling from his chest.

“Oh my God, I’m going to die-”

You reached the ground a lot quicker than you’d thought possible, your eyes squeezed shut, bracing for the imminent death that would come.

Instead, you felt a weird, soft surface, almost like a water bed, rippling under you as you landed on your knees.

“Am I in heaven?”

Your eyes opened slowly, eyes meeting the clouds around you, only for a shadow to cover the sights surrounding you.

“No, but I think I am.”

A kiss landed on your lips as you fell back on the odd surface, Fred falling on top of you.

The kiss was short and sweet, but quickly forgotten as you remembered what had happened moments prior, hitting Fred on the chest as you took in your surroundings.

The surface you had landed on wasn’t a surface at all- in fact it was, a rug? It looked eerily similar to the cloth Fred had thrown off the tower earlier, only, about thirty times bigger, and flying.

You looked at Fred, confused. The tall ginger boy beamed back at you, gesturing grandly.

“Welcome, to your very own magic carpet ride!”

⚔︎.

After lecturing Fred on how incredibly dangerous the start of the date had been, you finally had the chance to process the reality of the date.

“Where are we going, then, on this magic carpet ride?”

The boy hummed, pulling out blankets and a pillow from the, now enlarged, chest, spreading them around the carpet that was hovering near the tip of the Astronomy Tower, awaiting further instruction from the two of you.

“Well first, I was thinking we could stop by Hogsmeade to get some snacks, maybe buy some of the Christmas gifts you wanted to go get today, then we’re flying off to explore Scotland! Well, the part of Scotland we’re in, anyways. Just for a few hours, then we’ll be back to watch the sunset.”

He looked at you for approval, which you granted with a wide smile.

“That sounds beautiful Fred.”

⚔︎.

Walking around Hogsmeade, Fred had shrunk the rug and tucked it into his pocket, the chest shrunk even smaller than it had been the first time you’d seen it.

“Alright, so I think you’ve gotten enough sugar quills to last you a lifetime. Where to next?”

Chewing on a sugar quill, you scrunched your nose in his direction, pulling him into the quaint little jewellery shop you liked to frequent.

The little old lady who owned the place was one you’d become acquainted with over the past five years, Mrs Kingston never minded that you rarely bought anything, understanding that most of her second-hand jewellery was still quite pricey for a student to afford.

Still, you tried your best to save up and buy the pieces you really liked. Recently, you’d been eyeing a necklace, a simple Celtic knot on a thin chain that shone brightly no matter how much light lit up the room. Mrs Kingston explained to you it was an old betrothal necklace, oft seen in pureblood families back in the Victorian era. It’s now seen worn by a lot of the heirs of these old families- in fact, you’d spotted Draco wearing an heirloom similar to it.

“Mrs Kingston!”

“Hello y/n, how are you?”

Fred nodded at the woman as he shuffled around the shop, looking in the display cabinets with vague interest whilst the two of you made small talk.

Your eyes wandered the familiar glass cabinet, landing on the soft velvet that was empty of the familiar Celtic knot, furrowed brows returning to meet Mrs Kingston's clouded eyes.

“The necklace!”

The woman nodded sadly, looking just as dejected as you felt.

“I'm sorry dearie. A boy came in a while ago to buy it. Might've been one of the ones you came with a few weeks back.”

Your head hung low, muttering out a soft 'oh' as she explained to you, nodding in response.

“It's okay Mrs Kingston. I'll see if there's something else I'd like to save up for instead. Thanks, see you next time!”

Thinking back to the last Hogsmeade trip when you'd come down to the shop, your heart lifted a bit, a smile returning to your face as you turned to face Fred.

“Alright, let's head to the bookstore.”

⚔︎.

The ginger's hand clutched yours tightly, the two of you cuddling under the thick blanket as you flew around mountains, pointing out animals, both magical and non-magical, that you'd seen around the place.

Fred looked at you quizzically. Since leaving Mrs Kingston's, you had seemingly forgotten the necklace. Even more, it seemed like you'd gotten happier since finding out someone had gotten the necklace. During the lunch you two had gotten at the Three Broomsticks, the both of you finding Madam Puddifoot's a bit nauseating, you were practically bouncing on your heels as you spoke to some of your friends about the upcoming Christmas celebrations.

“I thought you'd be more upset that the necklace is gone, I remember you talking about how much you liked it last time.”

You shrugged, a wider smile gracing your lips as you looked at him, nuzzling further into his chest.

“I love it! That's why I'm so happy Cedric got it for me. ”

Fred halted, pushing you away from him.

“I-, what! Why would Diggory be getting you a betrothal necklace?!”

You looked up at your boyfriend, furrowing your brows at his outburst.

“What! You know Ced's one of my best friends. Remember when we came to the shop a few weeks back? You, George and Lee were goofing around and then just bolted while I was telling Ced about the necklace. I guess he just came back to get it for me.”

Fred huffed, rolling his eyes as he heard you talk about Cedric, pulling away from you more.

“How could you be this blind!”

You looked at Fred, a bit hurt that he'd lost his temper at you for no reason.

“Why are you getting so worked up over this? It's not like he's proposing to me!”

The boy scoffed, throwing his hands up into the air.

“Well, it's clear that he'd do it without a thought! The boy's in love with you! That's the only reason why anyone would get you something that expensive!”

You laughed frigidly, shaking your head at how irrational your boyfriend was being, pushing the blanket off of you to move away from him.

“What, he can't just have gotten me the necklace because I'm a good friend? Merlin Fred, he's the only one who's actually been with me to go see the necklace, and is the only one who would logically know to get me the necklace.”

You turned to look him in the eye, your jaw clenching as he turned red.

“Besides, Cedric knows me best.”

Fred let out a frustrated 'ugh!', and grabbed the wooden chest that he'd charmed to stay in one corner, grumbling under his breath.

“You think Diggory's the one who knows you best? You think that he's the only one that could have gotten you the bloody necklace?”

A velvet box was brandished from somewhere deep in the chest, Fred propping it open to reveal a dazzling silver necklace, reflecting the afternoon sun into your eyes.

“The. I don't understand. But how?”

Fred snapped the box shut, moving to kneel in front of you.

“As I said just now, I know you best.”

He popped open the box again, this time moving to remove the necklace from the velvet, lifting it fully into the sunlight.

“I was listening when you were talking to Diggory, and even though I'd run away that day, I knew exactly what you wanted.”

He shuffled behind you, unclasping the necklace to bring it around your front.

“I said that he's in love with you, which I still think is true, by the way, and that's the reason why he would have possibly gotten it for you, is because I love you, and that's why I got it for you.”

The chain clipped around your neck, the cool metal contrasting your warm skin as Fred leaned down to press a kiss above the clasp, sending a shiver down your spine.

“Freddie, I had no idea.”

You spun around to face your boyfriend, pressing a deep kiss to his lips, hands landing on his neck to pull him impossibly closer to yourself.

“Clearly. I had this whole plan! All foiled by your cluelessness. I was going to wait until sunset, with the scenery all around us, then surprise you with it and ask you to be my date to the Yule Ball!”

You looked at Fred, your mouth falling open in shock.

“But you just had to bring up Cedric, and how he 'knows you best'. Maybe you should go with him to the Ball.”

You chuckled at the childishness of the Weasley boy in front of you, the pout framing his lips deepening as you laughed at him.

“Well then maybe you should go with Angie, I'm sure she'd be happy to have you.”

Fred gasped loudly, shocked at the audacity of you bringing up his old crush.

“Don't you even dare suggest that.”

⚔︎.

“How did you think of all this?”

The boy shrugged, opening the chest, to pull out a thermos. You were sat above the Black Lake, watching the setting sun on the horizon ahead, red bleeding into orange and blue.

“Honestly, I’m ashamed it took me so long. Remember this summer when you had me ‘round your place and we watched Aladdin with your parents?”

You nodded, fluffing the pillows to make yourself more comfortable, the setting sun casting shadows on the Weasley boy, making him look even more handsome than usual, if that was even possible.

“At that time, I’d already thought that the magic carpet seemed awfully similar to a broom. Then, that day at lunch some firstie was humming that one song they sang when flying the blasted thing, and I thought, blimey! Why didn’t I think to just recreate the bloody thing! So, here we are.”

While talking, Fred spread the thick blanket to cover more of you, pouring hot chocolate out of the thermos he’d brought into mugs that he’d gotten without you knowing, both shaped in little hearts.

“D’you, um, d’you like it?”

Handing the pink mug to you, a sheen of red descended on your boyfriend’s cheeks, not just from the cold, but also fear and embarrassment, scared you didn’t like the date he’d spent the last three days planning.

“I love it!”

You leaned forward, planting a soft kiss on Fred’s lips, leaving traces of cocoa on them.

“But I didn’t love the part where you made me think I was plunging sixty feet to my death!”

The boy groaned playfully, lying back onto the carpet with his head hanging over the edge.

“I know! I’m sorry! I just thought it’d be exciting! A nice surprise! Besides, did you really think I’d let my lovely little Y/N die? I need you around darling.”

You scoffed, sipping on the hot cocoa as you stared at the Astronomy Tower in the distance, your first and now, final destination of the day, a hand creeping towards Fred’s to hold it in a tight grip, unconsciously afraid he’d fall.

“I don’t know! Maybe this was your ultimate prank! Bring us both to heaven to fight God or something.”

Now it was Fred’s turn to scoff, sitting back up to shove his hands under the blanket, squeezing your hand in return.

“First off, if I ever fought God I’d need George there with me. I don’t think that just the two of us could take him. Secondly,”

Fred cupped your chin with his free hand, bringing you in for a deep kiss, catching you by surprise as you braced yourself on his shoulder with your free hand. His tongue teased your lower lip, making a moan slip out while his tongue entered your mouth. Exploring each other, your entangled hands fell apart- his coming to grasp your neck, bringing you closer to him, yours gripping his hip, drawing circles on the bone.

After what seemed like an hour, but also felt like seconds, the two of you fell apart, breathless as you panted, staring into each other’s eyes.

“I don’t think either of us are making it to heaven darling. Think we’re condemned to hell forever, you and I.”

You looked into his coffee coloured eyes, pupils dilated as he scanned your face, his favourite pastime, memorising every crevice and pore. Your hand found its way to the necklace sitting around your neck, fingering the knot that symbolised eternity in your hands.

“Well if I’m going to burn in hell for an eternity, then I’m glad I’ll be burning with you Freddie.”

#mine #writing #fred weasley #fred weasley x reader #harry potter #harry potter imagines #harry potter oneshot #fred weasley imagine #fred weasley fluff #harry potter fluff #fred weasley oneshot #gender neutral reader #fred weasley x gender neutral reader #hp angst #hp imagine #hp oneshot #hp smut #fred weasley smut #fred weasley angst

[mingot-studios]

Things currently polluting my mind (will be added to as i think of things)

 How bad the Star vs. Finale was, and weather i should even bother trying to watch the show again at this point

The fact that the next JoJolion chapter is coming out soon and I STILL haven’t read 107 with my mom even though I’ve already read it

Not being caught up on One Piece and having 0 IDEA of whats happening at this poin as well starting to flaws with the series (racism, transphobia, and homophobia) that i knew was there but chose to ignore and weather it should hinder my relationship with the series. Also wanting to murder Oda for demoting Franky to ‘Pervy Grandma’ (srsly wtf oda)

Upset Infinity Train was cancelled even though i never watched it, and wonder why the fans cry for it to come is suddenly not happening?

The fact i’m going to be returning to in person schooling which is my personal HELL

my brother leaving for college upstate (Me and my brother have never really been that close, we fight alot but I cant imagine life without him)

The fact that my procrastination has gotten so bad that I nearly had to retake PE, World History, and English

The Owl House coming back on the 12th but i had downloaded the first 2 episodes but haven’t watched them and debating if i should, also having a meltdown  over Disney screwing the show over and having its third be 3 or 4 (i cant remember) 44-minute specials

The fact that me and brother STILL haven’t finished our Yume 2kki Let’s Play

I haven’t been watching anime regularly with my mom

I haven’t posted anything to my DeviantArt or YouTube in months

I have so much energy right now but no outlets

I still haven’t tried out my drawing pad i got for my birthday last year

I have so many drawing ideas but my spiral sketchpad is filled up and I have yet to get a new one

Ive many intricit and detailed story ideas that i know im gonna forget if i dont write them down bu due my procrastination i haven’t done so im prolly gonna lose everything

The fact Thurston Waffles hasn’t posted anything since late April as well as the fact that he’s got Kidney problems

So many ideas for videos but I only have WindowsMovieMaker and the HumbleBundle my mom got me idk YEARS ago won’t install

I’m gonna be 17 at the end of September, which i only have until next June before I graduate High school, have to give up my Chromebook, start thinking about college and getting a job, possibly moving out and living on my own, the knowledge that my parents are in their late 50′s and early 60′s so hey might be gone sooner than most parents and I dont know how to function without my parents doing everything for me

These weird tingles ive been getting in my body for he pas couple days

The fact that im not gonna a kid soon and im gonna have to grow and stop doing whatever i want whenever i want and i’m gonna never accomplish my dream of creating a successful cartoon and will probably end up at a dead end job I HATE just to make ends meet and eventually dying alone because I dont wanna be in a relationship or have kids

Everything is too overwhelming. The light, the sound, my thoughts, its all too much. I wanna curl up into a tiny ball and disappear from this awful experience called life

Capitalism

i hate being so passionately when i’m upset, everyone else is calm but i have meltdowns and freaks outs over things i shouldn’t even care about or are miniscule (Comes with being autistic i guess)

I have 0 patience and i hate it

I’m starting to regress back to being a childish brat after all the progress i’ve made

i’m constantly surrounded by either criticism or praise that contradict each other so i dont know what to believe about myself

the fact that i have so many great story ideas but i cant write a cohernt thought with proper grammer or sytax or spelling o save my life, nor the art skill or the patience or the tech to draw comics

i haven seen my therapist in days and i need help but i know im not actually gonna change 

having gender panic

I have no in person friends and ive forgotten how to interact with people

ive become a noodle limbed nerd

Ive gotten super skinny

I want someone o break through my shell and help me change bu I know thats just a fantasy and im the only one who can do that but im too lazy to put effort into it

everything i used to enjoy suddenly feels tedious monotonous repetitive and uninteresting

I feel trapped and scraed 

The fact after being bulied so much the only way i can really assert myself is to get violent and angry because they would want me breakdown and cry

I have this image in my head of who i want to be; And badass that people including adults, are scared of and know not to fuck with me or they’ll get hurt (Basically Jotaro, bu I’ve had this image since before i even knew what jojo was) And the fact I KNOW that i’s a pointless endever and that i only dig my own grave when i get mad but its like ingrained Branded into my my psyche so im always going to larp that vision of myself but not get anywhere and only regress further

I want to address my problems and change but I never do and stay static and regress

I cant take crticisim even though i know its true

The reason im so scared of writing fanfiction is because i know its gonna be a mess despite what i think is a great story and people will end up mocking it and what little self confidence i have will shatter

Star Vs wasted potential

the fact that I dont know where to take the whole “Rubi dies at the  end of he first season but comes back o life except she’s not actually she’s just a walking meat sack containing an anchint eldritch god that will, sooner or later, burst out of her and destroy her body, and she’s fighting for control of her ow body due to Skarlotus trying to devor her soul and Data’s medience is only delaying the inevitable” storyline of my concept cartoon, The Crypto Club

I have an AMAZING idea for an Invader Zim storyline that has fascism, rascism, mass genocide, child soldiers, political intrigue, propaganda, baiscally space hitler and more (okay that came out sound REALLY bad, but NONE of it painted as good!) It also involves Zim and Dib coming together to stop an even bigger threat and there is a really ironic ending that brings my OC GA83′s story full circle

#the owl house #yume 2kki #thurston waffles #star vs the forces of evil #JoJo's Bizarre Adventure #jojolion #one piece #vent #save infinity train #infinity train #amphibia #gravity falls #the crypto club #invader zim #Princess Ovilium Midorihato Metamorphosis Androma Serugi The First #Princess Ovil

[iknowyouthinkimbulletproof]

The Scar- Calum Hood

A/N: another 5sos fic! Calum hood x y/n. Y/n’s gender is female for this fic, it just made it easier to write, my apologies to anyone it might upset, but you can always request. Feel free to correct any mistakes! there will be a part two!

WARNINGS: this fic does contain multiple mentions of an abusive family, read at your own risk.

Not my gif!

plot: y/n and Calum meet for the first time!

2430 words

-

When y/n was still a child she had always dreamed of becoming a celebrity, like every other kid. unlike the other children though, it seemed impossible to her. To y/n, she sounded horrible, not to mention the looks. y/n had always thought this way because there was never one person to tell her otherwise. It's not like anyone knew what she was struggling with to be fair. Years of practice and motivation from her parents, the only time they encouraged y/n, lead to y/n being the perfect actor in front of others. No one would notice the damage done to y/n because the walls built around her took a team of three to build and would most likely take an even bigger team to deconstruct. Or at least that's what she thought. Apparently all y/n needed was a wrecking ball.

Day after day y/n would wake early to sit in front of her mirror with a brush. She normally wasn’t the type to hate anything, other than her parents, because nothing could compare to the years of trauma her parents had stocked her up on. So when y/n said she hated her foundation brushes, she meant it.

Makeup used to be one of her favorite things, she used it as a pastime. When she was a young teen, she spent most of her time in her room trying as many looks as possible. It wasn’t like her to believe that you could only have one aesthetic, she would change her look up as many times as she wanted. Going from “emo” looks one day to “kawaii” looks the next. It only made sense that she would do the same with her makeup as well. Her parents didn’t seem to mind the looks. Whatever would cover up the bruises they gifted her seemed to be helping them in some twisted way. One day it all fell apart though. Everything her parents had built was destroyed. 

The process left y/n with a humongous scar on her face. The scar started right above her right eyebrow. If it had ended below the eyebrow, it would have just seemed like she wanted an eyebrow slit, she might have even been able to cover it easily with a brow pencil. If it had ended there, but it didn’t. It ended right above her jaw bone. It wasn’t straight either. Most scars can go away with time, but hers was too deep. It would never go away. It showed her and the world her past. She hated it. 

So, as much as she hated the foundation brushes she used every morning, she continued to use them. That hideous scar needed to be covered up. Especially with all the attention she was getting. Once news came out that two well liked members of y/n’s small hometown abused their child, people were furious. Many tried helping y/n. One of the teachers at school had convinced her to try out for the drama club. She received the leading role in Annie for the school’s play. News spread fast in the town and soon people had begun to call colleges and agencies to come watch her performance, all of which y/n had no clue they were doing.  One specific agency had agreed to work with her for free until she got off the ground. She almost rejected the opportunity. That was until her foster mother had informed her that her parents weren’t going to spend as much time in jail as they had hoped. Taking the opportunity had forced y/n to continue high school in Los Angeles. She was also set up with a new foster home. Throughout all of this, the scar was hidden. She didn’t want her chance to leave to be taken away. 

Years later and no one she surrounded herself with knew of her past, or even seen her scar. Not even the makeup artists she’s worked with. She always showed up a foundation on and since it was a perfect match to her color, the makeup artists let it slide and just continued to transform her into her characters.

y/n had in fact gotten off the ground, it was now a daily thing for her to be recognized. She even met some celebrities she grew up with.

There was one day though, soon after her 23rd birthday, that y/n had not put on foundation. She felt that she wouldn’t be recognizable without it, so she wanted to try it. She had woken up later than usual then dressed herself in shorts and a tee. She went on a run and low and behold, no one recognized her. She ended up at her usual cafe. Just like every morning, she walked up the cashier and ordered her usual. The cashier, Linda, a nice old lady, who had worked there every morning tried not to stare.  It was a weird experience for both of them. Linda could have sworn that y/n looked familiar, but she shrugged it off. y/n was holding back an expression of surprise, she thought that out of everyone Linda would have noticed her. Once she received her coffee, she went to leave. That is when she ran into her wrecking ball, not that she knew it. y/n had spilt her coffee all over the strange man she knew as Calum. She didn’t know much about Calum, she only knew his name from the few times she had heard his name being called for his coffee. She also knew that Cal was well aware of who she was, with makeup that is.

“Im so sorry!” y/n exclaimed. She might’ve still been in shock from the events that had happened so far into the day, but there was no way she could have missed the look she received from the man. It wasn’t one of disgust, but more of one of surprise. The look he had however, didn’t match hers. He wasn’t in surprise from the coffee he had spilt on him, but rather the girl in front of him. 

“It’s fine really.” Calum stated as kindly as possible. There was no way he could ever even think of being rude to a lady so beautiful. 

“It’s really not, I can pay for the shirt and for whatever you were gonna order.” she offers in a hurried tone even if she wasn’t in a rush. This is because she thought he was trying not to give her pity. 

“No need, I actually feel as if I should buy you another one-” he offers, “- it was my fault anyways, i'm so clumsy i’ve been in this situation before.” he lied. y/n was well aware of the lie. Most of the time she was here before him and left after him, she had not seen it happen. An argument be that he’s done it before she moved into the neighborhood, but that also wasn’t true because y/n had witnessed him and Roy struggling to carry a couch into their home while on her run. She had actually had a conversation with Roy and she probably could have become good friends with him if she had tried. 

“It's fine really” the words coming out of her mouth this time. Before they could interact anymore though, Linda had appeared to usher them both out of the way to clean the mess that was made. She had begun to lecture Calum, one of her favorite clients, on making a mess when y/n slipped out of the Cafe. she stuck her head back in though to apologize to one last time to both of them before running off. 

She had made it home and took a shower when there was a knock at the door. Realizing that her scar was uncovered, she tried to cower. 

“Y/n, it’s Roy! I...um brought cookies to celebrate your new movie! Oh and a friend.” That was the last thing she had expected to hear through her door. She knew the friend had to be Calum, she also knew she would have to explain herself to the men. Finally getting the courage, she opened the door. Before you could say anything Calum had begun to talk. 

“Hey, it’s you again. What are you doing here?” he asked. Suddenly feeling shy y/n lowered her head. 

“Are you ok?” Calum pressed. Looking up again she can see both the boys now wearing concerned faces.

“Y/n?” Roy questioned. Gulping, y/n decided to just rip the bandage off.

“Yep, that's me. Nice to see you Roy.” slightly shaking she opens the door wider as if to invite them in. Roy understood what she meant and walked in, his expression now gone and replaced with his original smile, Calum on the other hand still wore his as he followed his friend in. She led the men into her living room.

“Sorry for the mess.” she states. Calum and Roy looked around to see what she was talking about. Cal’s brows frowning more. There was no mess. To them anyways, to y/n her only thought was that her parents would murder her for having friends over without vacuuming and tidying every corner of the house. They sat down and y/n left to go get them drinks. While in the kitchen she could hear them whispering about her. Wiping any look of sadness from her face, she picked up the drinks and headed back into the living room. Handing them their drinks, she places coasters onto the table for them. They have a light conversation, them being Roy and y/n. Cal was too busy staring at her. He was confused, how could he have not realized. How come he didn’t know that the beauty of both women was actually the beauty of one. Finally giving into the stares y/n sighs.

“I know you’re probably confused about the...um you know-” she says, gesturing to her face, “i just didn’t want anyone to find out about it yet. There’s not really any good memories that came with it. You understand right?” 

“Of course!” Roy claims, nodding his head then nudging his friend, who also nodded but not nearly as harsh as Roy had done. 

“We won’t say anything if that's what you’re asking” Calum states, he could see that them agreeing with her hadn’t reassured her enough. She smiles gently at him as Roy agrees again.  The conversation had now been a lot more free. All three of them were involved now. The conversation drifted to her movie and their music at points. y/n felt bad as she had genuinely gotten a liking to them, Calum in particular. She wanted to talk to them again, but her past was coming to haunt her, she couldn’t. The cookies were amazing, store bought, but amazing. They trio all slowly coming quiet, they had spent hours together chatting. It was now 4 in the afternoon. It seemed as neither man wanted to leave. It had been a while since they had made a new friend. Calum excused himself to the bathroom, leaving y/n and Roy. she tried her best to hint that it may be time for them to leave without seeming rude. Roy helped her bring the cups and trash into the kitchen. He watched as she cleaned each cup multiple times. To him it must have seemed as if she were nervous because she was being watched. To her though, each mug needed to be perfectly spotless or something bad would happen. It was rooted into her mind. If you dug deep enough into it, you would see y/n’s memories of being yelled at and having dishes and pots thrown at her for not having the house perfectly cleaned. Calum, finally out of the bathroom, joined Roy. together they watched the woman dry her hands before turning towards them. Before she could get a word out, Roy suggested that they should get going. Cal’s eyes couldn’t have missed her smile quickly dropping before resuming back to its original place. y/n nods before leading the kind men back to her front door. Roy leaning slightly to give her a hug and saying a quick bye, she responded as she knew how. 

“Goodbye.” It was a simple statement really, but she was taught to never try to stay in touch with people outside of necessity. Though she did give him another kind smile, one that shows her teeth in just the slightest way. Now facing Cal who, unlike his friend, was staring at the floor. Roy, waiting for him at the gate, tries his hardest not to watch their interaction. From his point of view, he can see them talking before y/n goes completely still. y/n was in shock, she had never been in this situation before. She didn’t know how to respond. Cal had asked for her number. She didn’t have anyone who wasn’t work related on her phone, should she let herself add a contact for Cal? She didn’t know the answer, she stayed still, evening out her breathing while she felt two different sets of eyes on her. Still as stiff as humanly possible, she smiles and hands her, now open, phone to Calum. He grins so softly that y/n missed it, he handed her his unlocked phone as well. He creates a contact in her phone with all his information before snapping a quick photo of himself. He listed himself as “cute neighbor”, which is quite bold seeing as he had no idea if y/n liked him, and pressed save. On Calum’s phone, y’n had simply only typed her phone number and listed herself as “y/n”. Before she could press save, Calum handed her phone back to her, she looked at the contact and her lips lifted. She turned off her phone and put it in her pocket. She looked back to Calum’s phone and changed her name to “scar girl” before saving the contact and passing the phone back to him. Unfortunately for her, Calum didn’t look at the contact and just shut off the phone. Which might have been better if she thought about it. She didn’t want to see Calum’s reaction to the name, she just hoped it was positive. As they looked into each others eyes, a blush formed onto their cheeks. y/n whispered a silent goodbye before walking back into her home and softly closing the door. 

#calum hood x y/n #calum x reader #calum hood #5sos imagine #fic #imagines #lots of love #-lizza

[bloody-wonder]

Every time I come across one of those posts or fics about how Andrew should feel bad about choking Kevin/how it was bad writing for Nora to have Andrew do it, it always seems to be Kevin superfans who are upset that Kandreil didn’t make it into the final draft. And every time I’m just baffled. How can people possibly feel so slighted by the exclusion of a pairing that Nora has said wouldn’t have made sense or been healthy in the final story anyway? The entitlement is just ridiculous

wowowow some juicy unpopular opinions are on the menu today!

i have a lot to say so buckle up. it’s gonna be one of those rants.

i have answered an ask about choking already. to sum it up: is choking kevin an acceptable mature way to express frustration at your bf being kidnapped by the mafia? no. is it in character for andrew? yes. will andrew apologize for it? no. will he and kevin still be friends? yes. 

first of all, i personally don’t see why kandreil would be unhealthy. i haven’t read nora’s statement about it but she didn’t elaborate, did she? it would be interesting to know why she thinks so but that’s unlikely to happen seeing as every word she utters about the characters she created gets her unproportional amounts of hate.

that being said, i totally see why kandreil would be out of character for the versions of kevin, neil and andrew that we see in the books. the relationships between kevin and the other two are certainly intense but i wish i didn’t have to suggest in the year of our lord 2020 that relationships can be intense without being sexual or romantic.

lets look at neil who’s canonically demi which means he has to have a profound emotional bond with a person in order to feel something like that for them. he has developed this bond with andrew throughout the books because they have similar backgrounds and are uniquely positioned to understand each other but more importantly because neil was put in a situation where he had to constantly actively communicate with andrew. andreil dialogues take up a large part of the books and enable us to see how andreil develops and works. nothing comparable happens between neil and kevin. they have a different dynamic altogether where neil looks up to kevin in the beginning for his exy skills and in turn kevin looks up to neil in the end for his being feisty in the face of imminent doom skills. neil chose to throw his anonymity away in order to stand up for kevin at kathy’s show which must mean he values kevin a lot, but he also antagonized him throughout the books, faulted him for not getting over his trauma in a timely manner and said the meanest things to him. a great and complex dynamic by all means. i have no complaints whatsoever and certainly don’t see them falling in love.

now lets look at andrew who isn’t aspec and has probably checked kevin out seeing as kevin is conventionally attractive. kevin & andrew is one of the most complex and interesting relationships i’ve ever seen in fiction. when we first encounter them their interactions are so intense that many readers (and neil) have interpreted them as a couple (because like i said before we tragically live in a society where tension is always seen as sexual). kevin and andrew met at such a time in their lives when they sorely needed something only the other was able to give: for kevin it was someone to stop him from returning to an abusive environment and for andrew it was someone who could see his real potential and worth behind his hostile manic exterior. so they started this weird co-dependent non-friendship which didn’t turn into anything else because - my big guess - neither of them wanted it to. andrew knows when he wants to fuck someone and knows how to arrange it but he didn’t with kevin because he already was a more important person to him than, for example, roland. the risks outweighed the benefits. but andrew did “arrange” it with neil probably because neil had something to offer which kevin had not. unlike kevineil where extensive relationship development had to take place in order for it to happen, kandrew could happen just because one of them suggested it. but guess what neither of them did and it’s canon. i for one am very happy that this unique exciting relationship wasn’t spoiled by romance.

finally lets look at kevin who isn’t a pov character like neil nor a character who’s constantly in neil’s focus of attention like andrew. we don’t have a comparable amount of information about kevin’s inner world so we have to surmise a lot of it just based on what neil cared to impart. so naturally the interpretations will differ. i personally see no signs of kevin being attracted to any person or any gender at any point in the books. there’s thea of course but she’s such an obvious last minute addition that i don’t even want to consider her. the kevin i know is living his best life as an unmarried childless aroace exy legend surrounded by friends and family and friends who are family. i’m aroace and imagining kevin single and happy is very important to me. it’s probably equally important to kandreil shippers to see some good polyamorous rep which is only slightly less rare in media than aroace rep. but the difference between me and kandreil shippers is that i have a magical ability to disagree with the author without cursing the very earth she walks upon.

ah yes, another difference is of course that they have an argument set in stone - kandreil was canon in earlier drafts. but do you know what else was there in the earlier drafts? jean was dead in them. so was erik in some of them which made nicky a different person altogether. also i distinctly remember nora writing that she has been developing this story for so long that she has shipped all the possible pairings at some point or another. kandreil aren’t special in that sense. what i am getting at is that in order to have a productive discussion we have to choose a particular draft of the story and stick to it, so if it’s a kandreil draft we have to know what else was different in that version, and if it’s the books then well kandreil isn’t canon in them end of story. 

that of course doesn’t mean that people can’t write absolutely stellar kandreil fanfics but it does mean that they have to dial down what you called “the entitelment”. because aftg means different things to different readers and if you insult the author for writing it the way you don’t like you also insult the readers who see themselves represented in the way the story is written. and kandreil fans are so aggressive. it’s smart of you sending the ask on anon cause otherwise they’d come for you so fast you wouldn’t know what hit you. just the other day i saw a post which basically said that the reason kevin is portrayed in fics in such a reductive way and writers don’t know what to do with him except make fun of his exy obsession and alcoholism is because andreil is built on the bones of kandreil and, being excluded from this relationship by the author, kevin can never be happy. this take right here illustrates very clearly that the shipping culture damages human brain in such a way that a fulfilling life outside a romantic relationship becomes inconcievable. fic writers diminish kevin to those things not because nora decided she wants her final draft to be about andreil, but because most of them aren’t able to write about a character unless they’re in a relationship. maybe some day fanfiction will develop past that but today is not that day.

i have read some kandreil fanfiction to see what the fuss is all about and my expert opinion is that all of it is ooc. clearly in order for kandreil to happen some manipulations with the existing characters have to be made. i consider myself a kevin superfan but i mean the kevin as he is in the books (and in my awesome hc). the kevin in kandreil fics i don’t know, he’s a character from a book i didn’t read so he can do whatever and date whoever, i don’t care either way. i only care when people insult the books, andreil or nora because they’re bitter that their ship isn’t canon. what a way to live in the year of our lord 2020. 

#asks #aftg mine #kevin day #andrew minyard #neil josten #all for the game #i won't hesitate to block people #so before writing something in the notes #think about whether you actually have something meaningful to say #aftg ask

[rittz]

thoughts about being trans, idk where else to put them so here u go

it’s not like i don’t have trans guy friends to talk to about this, it’s just usually in the form of jokes or passing comments rather than an actually serious conversation. also, the transmasc people that i’m closest to identify more with the label “nonbinary” than i do-- it’s not like they couldn’t understand or relate to things i’m saying, but i’m just assuming that they probably don’t feel the exact same way i do

anyway, as a trans person we get often asked “so why do you feel like a [gender]?”, and the answer is usually some variation of “i just feel like it”. this is the most accurate but also vaguest possible answer, so i kinda wanted to break down my personal answer to that question?

basically, i identify as a man because i identify with men. in a general and also personal sense. gender stereotypes are something that trans people by necessity both embrace and reject. i relate to gender stereotypes about men more than those of women-- i’m less outwardly emotional, i like being handy, i don’t like kids, i have questionable personal hygiene, etc-- but obviously these things alone don’t make someone a man. however... you can’t deny that there is some general truth about behavioral differences between men and women (bc of society, not biology). men and women both experience different problems in the world, and each have trouble understanding the experiences and problems of the other. generally, i can relate to the experiences and problems of men more than those of women, even if it seems like i shouldn’t (for example, i am not afraid of walking alone at night, even though i am very tiny).

i, from a young age, have had a constant yearning for more male friends. i would occasionally choose to play video games as a male character. i was upset that i couldn’t be in boy scouts. i have been jealous of my younger brothers being treated by my parents the ways i wished i was treated. when i imagined myself older, i pictured myself less like my mom and more like my dad. when i’m around men, i want them to treat me like one of them. i want to be seen as a man.

and i think that’s what being trans really boils down to. wanting to be seen as someone other than how everyone sees you. wanting what you see on the outside to match how you feel on the inside. this obviously extends to nonbinary individuals, who face their own struggle when it comes to presentation. but at the end of the day, i think that presentation is equally important to gender identity as internal feelings. i mean, i think we’re all familiar with the research proving that transitioning makes trans people happier. surgery is an invasive, expensive, painful process that i DON’T think is necessary for every trans person, and HRT isn’t always easy to get. but changing a name, getting a new haircut, dressing differently, binding, etc. counts as transitioning. you don’t have to hate your body to be trans, but wanting to alter it in order to better connect your internal identity with your presentation, i think is necessary in order to consider yourself to be trans. 

i will admit i am confused by “GNC trans men” i see on tumblr and insta, who use he/him pronouns but exclusively present femininely. i’m not talking about trans guys who don’t yet pass, i mean trans guys who don’t want to. i don’t harbor any ill will, i’m just confused. if i understand being trans to mean “wanting what you see on the outside to match how you feel on the inside”, you can see how. doesn’t that make you feel dysphoric? don’t you want people who see you to read you as male? how is your life different from when you didn’t identify as male but presented the same way? this isn’t me trying to gatekeep on who’s “trans enough”, and especially when it comes to nonbinary identities it’s arbitrary to harp on presentation like this. but like, what’s going on here?

taking a turn here that will come back around, an extremely key component to why i identify as and with men is my sexuality. i have always idolized, envied, and evoked various queer icons from media and real life. the hunky, grunting, macho, hetero version of “man” never appealed to me the way that the fashionable, artsy, flirty, homo version of “man” did. drag queens, my mom’s hairdresser, glam rock stars, i could go on. associating my more feminine qualities with GAY stereotypes instead of FEMALE stereotypes suddenly made more sense, and made me feel less dysphoric. it’s also something that took me a long time to realize, because i had surrounded myself with queers who were mostly attracted to women. transmascs and butch lesbians historically have a lot in common, but personally, i didn’t relate as much to lesbians as i did to drag queens. in dating and loving men, i developed my understanding of them. but my attraction to men was why it had taken me so long to realize i felt more like a man-- i thought i was just some weird straight girl.

now, am i calling these “GNC gay trans men” with long pink hair and poofy skirts and conventionally attractive bisexual boyfriends “weird straight girls”? ...well, not to their faces. but i have to admit that i’m thinking it. these people would never go to a predominantly-male gay bar, these people would never be harassed on the street. i’m not saying i know someone’s identity better than they do, but i don’t agree with the liberal utopian ideal of “let everyone do whatever they want as long as they aren’t hurting anyone” when taken to mean that we can’t question other people’s choices. “why do you feel like a man?” is a question that, coming from another trans person, isn’t inherently transphobic. it’s not “forcing” someone to “prove” their “transness”, no one “owes” me an explanation of their identity. i’m just confused. i don’t disapprove of the way these people live their lives, i just want to know why.

a straight girl being feminine is different from a gay man being feminine, because it has less to do with personality and more to do with society’s historic view of gay men as closer to female than male because of the loving and fucking men aspect. an AMAB gay man wearing makeup and a crop top probably just wants to look good, but he is also signaling to other men that he’s gay via gender non-conformance. by being AFAB and female-passing, wearing makeup and a crop top is not GNC. in fact it’s pretty GC, and gay men will not recognize you as a gay man.

it’s easy to say “gender is fake so do whatever you want”, but like, we have to acknowledge reality. time is a social construct too, but we still use days of the week when talking to each other. strangers will treat you differently depending on what gender they interpret you as. different people will be willing to date you or not. you have to choose which public bathroom to go in. if being misgendered doesn’t bother these people, then who cares? but if it DOES, which it usually does, wouldn’t you want to take steps to prevent being misgendered in the future? if your desire to present femininely is stronger then your desire to be seen as male, then like... why call yourself a male at all? ultimately nothing these people do will really affect me in any way. it just makes me wonder if these people will eventually go on to present as male, or if they will later ID as nonbinary or even cis. i encourage people trying out different labels and exploring their identity, so it’s not like i think these people SHOULDN’T identify as trans guys. it’s more like, i wish they were able to articulate WHY they identify as trans more than “because i said so”. not wanting to be a woman doesn’t automatically make you a man, it just makes you not a woman.

maybe i’m particularly cynical because of the MULTIPLE times that people with larger online followings who identify and present this way have later turned out to be lying, manipulative people. hopefully it goes without saying that i do NOT think that everyone who identifies and presents this way is a toxic liar. the reason i bring it up is because some people genuinely can’t understand the possibility or purpose of misleadingly claiming a marginalized identity, but it can and does happen. an analogy could be made here about white people claiming indigenous heritage. we all WANT to believe what people say about themselves, and asking for “proof” is a social no-no. but we shouldn’t just... automatically trust everything someone says about themselves, right? and as bad as i WANT to live in a world where gender doesn’t matter and everyone default uses neutral pronouns and there are no divisions in clothing stores and bathrooms, we don’t live in that world (yet). when you are AFAB, /extremely/ femininely presenting, and have little to no plans of transitioning, saying “i am a man” will not make other people see you as one. and if you don’t want to be seen as a man, then maybe you aren’t one.

#lgbt #ftm #long...

[notthatiwilleverwriteit]

thanks for ur as always deepful analyses and answers ! another ask for u : im soo afraid in the next chapter momo will be homophobic towards ht !! I mean except Zzx who seems at ease with his sexuality, the other boys all seem kind of homophobic. Jy called ht repulsive bc he called him pretty while he was a guy, Ht is very agressive in his advances (which i linked to toxic virility which entails homophobia) ; then both of them changed for the better bc of their feelings for another man. 1/?

Good evening, dear anon-san!

“thanks for ur as always deepful analyses and answers !”

I’m glad you’ve enjoyed them! Every time people send me questions it always makes me happy and to be honest, a bit taken aback because I’m just a little old me. But I’m glad my answers have had such a positive reception and given people food for thought. And it’s always a pleasant surprise when people feel like they can come to my ask box with their interpretations and strike up a conversation.

Homophobia is a very complex topic, and I wondered where I should start to unravel this ask. But soon I realized before I can even begin that I have to take a moment to sort out my own feelings. Whenever people say the boys in 19 Days are abusive or homophobic for whatever reason I tend to get ticked off. It’s a knee-jerk reaction, often sparked by my own bias, but something that can very easily cloud my answer and make it unfair for you. Exchanging interpretations and perspectives requires a level of objectivity and the ability to rise above your own bias. I can’t dismiss something just because it uncomfortably pokes my nerve. Instead, I should take a step back, try and see things from another point of view, and find some common ground.

I’m not saying I had to struggle to agree with you on anything but your ask certainly reminded me of how challenging yet rewarding it is to actually listen to an interpretation that differs from my own and try to objectively look at the story from that point of view. It hurts your brain at first but is surprisingly freeing in the end.

Because you addressed so many things in your ask, I will tie my answer together under the theme of homophobia and give it some structure that way. This will be my great 19 Days - homophobia edition. \(^v^)/

Sexual orientation and environment

Let’s start with the biggest context you brought up in your ask: social and cultural environment. I’m not familiar enough with Chinese culture to have anything definite to say about its attitude towards LGBT people. Of course, I’ve heard of the discrimination and even blatant hate by their government but I don’t have any idea about how ordinary, modern-day Chinese people view others with different sexual orientations. Not to mention, it’s always risky to take fictional works as an accurate representation of the milieu in which they’re set.

But I do think that 19 Days discusses homophobia in societies, though on a more general level. As Jian Yi has come to realize his feelings towards Zhan Zheng Xi, we’ve also gotten glimpses of his struggles. They’re surrounded by other kids in school, and from the very early chapters it’s been implied two guys being that close together or comfortable with that level of skinship turns people’s heads (ch. 53, 54, 55, and 57):

Of course, those panels also poke fun at the stereotype of girls being interested in cute guys being cute together. The girls stare, take pictures, and even smile knowingly. This bothered ZZX because it put him in awkward situations and created misunderstandings that would be embarrassing to correct. And the more he would try to deny and correct them, the more he would probably end up looking suspicious. But the bottom line is, he was increasingly conscious of the weird looks and attention JY’s antics were attracting and didn’t want people to get the wrong picture of his friendship with JY. All of that could give us some hints on how two boys being close might be viewed by their peers, but it should also be kept in mind that those kinds of “gay panic” moments are a big part of the humor you find in 19 Days.

Having a crush on someone of the same gender gets more serious tones after JY kissed ZZX (ch. 142)

The secret was finally out in the open. JY had carried his feelings in his heart for a long time. He had wanted to confess them so many times and often hidden them behind jokes and antics. Perhaps every time he had jumped to hug ZZX he had caught a whiff of his scent and enjoyed the feeling of him in his arms. But to take the definite last step of confessing and lifting that curtain had always terrified him. And who wouldn’t have been scared? Not only would you have to come out but also risk losing your childhood best friend. It could be JY had even thought of never telling ZZX about his feelings because it could go horribly wrong.

For a while, things are somewhat put on pause after the first reveal which I found very realistic. JY wasn’t flat-out rejected but ZZX most definitely needed a moment to sort out his own feelings. He pestered JY to be straight with him (pun not intended...) and made it clear it would be safe for JY to rely on him and free himself of the burden. Despite that JY was still very unsure if his confession won’t result in ZZX abandoning him because “gay” is abnormal and disgusting (ch. 164):

Even when JY finally confessed he was expecting to be rejected in disgust (ch. 209):

But he had sort of reached the point of just finally getting it all out even if ZZX wouldn’t return his feelings. Even if it meant they wouldn’t be friends anymore. At least he had said it. He had heartbreakingly little faith that their kind of relationship wouldn’t be completely doomed. Thank god he had fallen for someone like ZZX. I don’t think I’ve never been as grateful for a character like him before.

A tangible example of how Zhanyi and their environment collided was Xiao Hui’s character (ch. 158):

When she called JY a disgusting gay, it was the first time he was facing that kind of homophobia. Though her actions were frustrating, I think Xiao Hui’s character was a good addition to Zhanyi. At first, she lashed out both because she was hurt and publicly humiliated but also no doubt because she had internalized the idea that heterosexuality was the norm and anything else was abnormal and wrong. Later on, she had had time to lick her wounds and calm down (ch. 258):

She still has a crush on ZZX but even though she probably realizes she doesn’t have a chance she still wants a clear rejection from ZZX. It still hurts and stings but doesn’t upset her as much. It could even be she’s a little happy for them. I think Xiao Hui’s character is a good example that people are capable of changing and reflecting when they’re given a chance. And no one should be forever held accountable and punished for the mistakes they made and have since bettered themselves.

In a broader sense, I think Zhanyi also discusses what kind of future a same-sex couple could have in society (ch. 268):

That drawing on the wall is my favorite Zhanyi moment. As cute as ZZX drawing him and JY together was, it also carries some bittersweet undertones. The original drawing represents the norm: a boy and a girl in love but if there are no skirts involved, it’s a whole other story. To be open about their relationship would most probably never be an option for JY and ZZX. Something as simple as holding hands in public would take courage and threaten to complicate other aspects of their lives (school, work, family). They don’t have the same privilege as straight people to openly and safely share their feelings and have that universal experience.

Your ask was mainly about Mo Guan Shan and He Tian, but I wanted to take a moment to talk about their environment since you also referred to it. And the easiest way for that seemed to be to talk about the progress of Zhanyi. As you suggested, it does seem the society in which all of the characters live is very much heteronormative which puts pressure on the characters to fit in. And if they fail that, they will face homophobia and most probably feel the need to hide their true selves. Case in point, Zhanyi.

Boys being boys

As much as I know that phrase is deemed Problematic™ these days, I think it fits the dynamics of the boys of 19 Days. They mess with each other, and all of that is typical humor for the comic. Personally, I’ve never taken any of their teasing and good-natured bullying seriously because it’s how 15-year-old boys are around each other.

However, I just finished talking about the environment under which influences and discourses the boys have grown up. I don’t feel like I can ignore what I had just been saying and brush it off as “oh well, they’re just boys” if they’ve always been surrounded by certain attitudes. Does that mean the boys have also internalized those attitudes towards gay people despite having feelings for someone of the same sex? Does that make them a representation of toxic masculinity and internalized homophobia?

In all honesty, I’m struggling to answer those questions. On one hand, I do agree that society’s norms of what is masculine put a lot of pressure on boys when growing up. You have to act, talk, dress, and be in a certain way to be accepted, and it doesn’t take a lot for kids to internalize those ideas. And as you said, acting or looking gay (not to mention, actually being one) is probably the worst a young boy could be. Being gay is often linked to everything a proper man shouldn’t be: sissy, effeminate, sensitive, weak, submissive, on the bottom. The list goes on and on.

On the other hand, do I think you can see that in the four main boys of 19 Days? I suppose it’s possible if that’s the direction you want to take. If you look at anything through those lenses, you can probably find toxic masculinity everywhere. Do I think HT, MGS, JY and ZZX are homophobic because they possibly showcase traits of toxic masculinity? I guess. I don’t know. I see where that interpretation comes from, but some part of my brain never manages to make the full connection between those two. I’m constantly having a feeling that my way of thinking differs from your interpretation but I can’t properly validate or argue my opinions.

Perhaps taking a look at the examples you mentioned might help. You talked about JY being homophobic when this was his response to HT calling him good looking (ch. 108):

I can’t exactly deny that panel couldn’t be taken as toxic masculinity. I might even agree with you on that. I wouldn’t probably go as far as saying JY was being homophobic but it does seem like his masculinity was threatened or questioned in that situation. Interestingly, I’ve seen that phrase pop up a lot in yaoi/shounen-ai comics. Characters who are in a gay relationship don’t often feel comfortable with guys complimenting them - or even the guy they’re in love with. I’ve always wondered that. Does that mean there’s a level of self-denial in those characters or is it just a cultural thing? Does it embarrass them?

In general, I think all of that has to do with their age, and another good example of that would be ZZX and JY’s reaction to HT messing with MGS (ch. 289 and 298):

I’ve seen people calling those moments homophobic as well and can’t really agree with them. I would say those reactions have more to do with teenage boys being awkward and embarrassed. HT putting the moves on MGS in front of them is embarrassing and something they don’t wish to see. I mean, I wouldn’t want to see my friends constantly acting like that around me either. Seeing public displays of affection embarrasses me and makes me awkward as hell. (Though, I don’t know if that’s just a Finnish thing...)

In short, I see a lot of how the boys act around each other just natural to how teenage boys are. They mess with each other and standing up for yourself in that sense (for example, getting revenge, being physical, or returning the verbal teasing) is important and typical. That’s how I see JY’s words in the example you mentioned: he felt like HT was messing with him and shot back. All of that could, of course, be seen as internalized toxic masculinity, but I don’t think it’s quite as blatant as people sometimes make it out to be. I’ve always taken it as boys just being boys and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.

What comes to HT being pushy and overbearing, I don’t see that being connected to toxic masculinity and making him homophobic because of that. It feels a bit of a stretch and shakey. Instead, I actually think HT is quite comfortable with both of his own feelings for MGS and the idea of same-sex relationships in general (ch. 187):

The little heart-to-hearts JY and HT occasionally have also show us that despite often making fun of each other, they can take it more seriously when needed. JY would have never asked about having feelings for another male if he couldn’t trust HT wouldn’t make fun of him.

The case of Mo Guan Shan

You talked a lot about MGS, so I thought I’d take a closer look at his character separately. You made some interesting points I’ve also been thinking about and was glad they popped up in your ask.

Since we’ve talked about toxic masculinity so far, let’s continue on that. You mentioned that MGS is prone to homophobia because he’s had to act tough. Upholding a certain kind of image is essential in gangs. Being weak and submissive - aka gay, as I talked about above - isn’t an option in that line of work.

I agree with you on all of that. Why MGS is so uncomfortable with HT being physical with him is at least partly because he can’t come across as someone who can be taken advantage of (ch. 250):

If he can be physically overpowered and made vulnerable, it means he can be submitted. In the masculine world, physical strength seems to be the final and ultimate law that settles all the disputes at the latest. And if you lose in that you’re on the bottom or at least lower on the hierarchy. Now, multiply that mentality by a lot to fit it in the world of teenage gangs and the borderline criminal underworld. So, yes, I would most definitely say MGS doesn’t want himself to be put in that situation. Much less anyone finding out about it.

Then again, the story has kind of revisited that idea when HT “joined” MGS’s gang and his underlings started seeing HT around more. And they seem somewhere between intimidated by HT and impressed their boss has managed to make someone like HT call him “brother”. That fits the same mentality of strength, but I can’t honestly see Buzzcut or other members of the gang giving MGS a hard time even if they found out about HT’s affections. Chances are, they would be even more impressed, bless them.

Overall, I think MGS lashing out (or being homophobic) is mostly due to him not trusting HT and HT slowly but surely wearing him out and making him see his own prejudice against people like HT. Yelling out insults has been the easiest way to fight HT’s affections, although it’s not proven very successful. It’s also important to remember MGS is fairly inexperienced when it comes to love and romantic affection (ch. 222):

He’s always been rejected and discriminated by his peers and over the years, he’s started to mirror that behavior and push people away. Having crushes (let alone having a girlfriend) has never really been a concern for him. And it’s not like he’s had time for something like romance anyway because working has taken so much of his time. In this regard, MGS isn’t that mature or experienced and tends to get uncomfortable and lash out very quickly.

I’ve already talked about the note and what kind of role I think it will have (if it will be addressed at all). And I’m not really worried about MGS saying something homophobic to HT. I think we’re way past of him being like “I don’t speak to a homo” at this point already. He’s been aware of HT’s affections for a good while by now and even tentatively warmed up to some of it (for example, the aquarium date and the studs). (Even though, I think it’s still too early to talk about MGS being in love with HT.)

MGS has come a long way, and I might even say he’s gained some sexuality-related maturity on the way. Slowly but surely, he’s become comfortable with having HT around, and if after all this development he would say something like that, it would be a pretty big step backward. Of course, that doesn’t mean he can’t throw insults and lash out but let’s not forget we’re talking about a purebred tsundere here. That’s always going to happen with him.

And while we’re keeping it real, it’s not like HT would pay any mind to those insults. After MGS asked for the studs, I think HT’s resolve has only strengthened.

I hope this answer makes some sense, to me it feels like a bit of a mess of this and that. A lof of “I can’t deny that but still...” You really threw some hard questions and challenged my thinking a lot. Thank you!

#19 days #tianshan #zhanyi #Jian Yi #He Tian #mo guan shan #Zhan zheng xi #answered ask

[arofili]

rare pairs exchange 2020 letter :)

Hello lovely creator, thanks for writing for me in the Rare Pairs Exchange!! I’m very excited and grateful for whatever you write me :) Here are my thoughts on the various Silm ships I requested!!

Elemmírë/Findis: Vanyarin lesbians!! I see Elemmírë as a woman (specifically a trans woman, though if you don’t want to get into the details of her gender that’s fine), and a major reason in why Findis stuck around in Aman instead of leaving with her siblings. I like the theory that Glorfindel is Findis’ son, which would make Elemmírë his other mother. But if you’d rather depict them as not together at the time of the Darkening, that would be fine too; maybe Elemmírë is upset at the thought of Findis leaving but Findis stays because she’s realized she’s in love with Elemmírë, or something like that. Elemmírë wrote a song about the Darkening, so I think focusing on that time of fear and uncertainty would be very interesting. I would like a happy ending with these two, though.

Celegorm/Dior: Look, they’re both called “the Fair,” and Celegorm was into Dior’s mom. I’d love an exploration of a fucked-up dynamic between them. I’d prefer if they know who each other are, so not identity porn. Maybe Celegorm is trying to seduce Dior into giving him the Silmaril, or Dior is trying to seduce Celegorm into not attacking Doriath, or they’re both trying to get revenge on each other for what happened surrounding Lúthien, or whatever. Rivalry and hatefucking would be great. No non-con, please, not even in reference to the Celegorm and Lúthien situation, but dub-con would be delicious. “Mutually sensual murder” is about the happiest ending I can think of for these two so feel free to make it dark!

Ok here are my Finrod ships. I love Finrod as completely unashamed of his sexuality and sleeping with whoever he wants...and as a result while I’d prefer no PWP for any other ships, if Finrod’s involved, go for it! It’s what he would want! Though if you want to include some plot I would be delighted :)

Finrod/Turgon: This is my rarepair to end all rarepairs tbh. I honestly don’t know why these two are not shipped more! I am desperate for any and all content with them, I am not picky at all, I just love them. Fun times in Aman before things get dark and serious would be lovely, I think in that context their relationship would be more casual (or at least they’re trying to make it casual and that leads to hurt feelings). I’d rather not focus on their relationships with their canon love interests, mostly because I’m not a fan of stories about jealousy (also because I see both Finrod and Amarië as gay and together mostly out for convenience’s sake), but I do ship Elenwë/Amarië so those two having some sort of arrangement with Finrod and Turgon could be fun. But feel free to just ignore any of that and depict Finrod and Turgon together without their respective ladies! If you go into Beleriand times, I like: Turgon grieving Elenwë and finding solace with Finrod; whatever went down that night by the river they never wanted to talk about again; helping each other build their hidden kingdoms; Finrod sneaking into Gondolin maybe??; repressed Turgon being angsty about discovering his bisexuality and Finrod either helping him or making things more complicated; Finrod missing Turgon and trying to distract himself in Nargothrond (maybe in combination with another Finrod ship I put down?). A Beleriand-focused story that ends sadly would be fine, I do love some First Age angst. Post-reembodiment scenarios would also be great. I think that whatever the situation between Amarië and Finrod was, she’s moved on from him by the time he’s reborn; maybe she’s with Elenwë now, which would make Turgon’s life a bit easier. Or maybe Turgon can make room for both Elenwë and Finrod. If you go this route I’d prefer a happy ending. Or maybe you want to do an AU with them! Supernatural creatures? Some other fantasy setting? A space opera? Honestly the only AU I wouldn’t be interested in is a modern AU, I’m very picky with my Silm Modern AUs. Honestly like I said earlier, I would love ANY content with Finrod and Turgon, you’d make me very happy if you depicted them together!! Feel free to ignore any of the stuff I said if you’ve got a better idea!!

Celegorm/Finrod/Curufin: The Nargothrond Disaster Trio. Curufin and his pet blonds. Finrod and his pet Fëanorians. Whatever you’d like to call them, I can’t get enough of these three! I see their relationship as full of politics all the way around: Curufin is very upfront about it, Finrod tries to deny it, Celegorm sees it as secondary to the actual fun but still there. Maybe C&C think they’re seducing and manipulating Finrod, but Finrod thinks he’s seducing and manipulating C&C... Fics where Finrod gets fucked by both of them at the same time are *chef’s kiss* very good. I love short Curufin / tall Celegorm / average height Finrod. Curufin controlling the situation and then accidentally letting himself go is very fun. My favorite versions of this ship have Celegorm and Curufin using Finrod as a buffer between them, but if you wanted to include some hints of Celegorm/Curufin that would be okay, just nothing too explicit. I mean, be as explicit as you’d like where Finrod’s involved, but keep the sibling incest to a minimum, if that makes sense.

These next few fall into the category of “I have so many Maedhros ships but I also love Russingon most of all, why not ship BOTH of them with someone else?” (Also just...putting this out there...there aren’t enough fics that take advantage of Maedhros’ stump...)

Fingon/Maedhros/Finrod: Look, Maedhros and Fingon are ridiculously in love, and Finrod is a hoe, and I can’t believe there wasn’t at least one time they had a threesome. Again, Finrod getting fucked by both of them at once would be excellent. Finrod is canonically friendly with the Fëanorians in Beleriand and goes hunting with Maglor and Maedhros, maybe this is a time where it’s Fingon instead of Maglor and they fuck in the woods, or Maedhros and Fingon visit Nargothrond, or Maedhros and Finrod visit Barad Eithel, or Fingon and Finrod visit Himring. Is this a planned encounter? Something spontaneous? Is Finrod seducing them both, or are they inviting him in? Did Maedhros and Finrod have a fling in Valinor, or did Finrod and Fingon find comfort together on the Ice, or both? I’d love to see where you take this!

Fingon/Maedhros/Mairon: Okay I love how many possibilities there are for this ship. I’d like it to be mostly consensual - feel free to redeem Mairon, make Melkor irredeemable, etc, whatever you need to do to get there. Does Mairon have a soft spot for Maedhros as a prisoner in Angband, and he’s relieved/helpful when Fingon comes to rescue him? Is it an AU where Fingon gets captured trying rescue Maedhros and Mairon helps them break out? Or an AU where Fingon is imprisoned after the Nírnaeth instead of killed, and Maedhros manipulates Mairon into helping him rescue Fingon? I would prefer not to have a dark!Maedhros in this, but maybe he pretends to break under torture and he gets “rewarded” with a lordship in Angband and he and Mairon scheme to overthrow Morgoth. Basically, Maedhros and Mairon have something weird and fucked up going on but Maedhros is always going to prioritize Fingon, and Mairon and Fingon have to deal with both of them being involved with Maedhros. Does Mairon break with Melkor, or does he stick with his abusive master/lover til the end? Is he torn between what he “knows” is right and what his nature as a Maia servant to a Vala demands of him? There are sooo many ways to take this and I’d love to see one or more of them explored!

Fingon/Maedhros/Azaghâl: I’m a sucker for elf/dwarf ships, and there aren’t very many in the First Age! I’d love to see Maedhros dealing with whatever’s going on with him and Azaghâl while at the same time grappling with what that means for his preexisting relationship with Fingon. Maybe Fingon is kind of jealous until he meets Azaghâl and starts to like him too, or maybe he’s supportive of Maedhros exploring this relationship because he knows that Azaghâl is mortal and Mae will always come home to him at the end. I think Fingon getting in on the action, perhaps to his surprise, would be very fun! Also: Azaghâl gave the Dragon-helm of Dor-lómin to Maedhros, who gave it to Fingon, who gave it to Hador...it’s like the Boyfriend-hood of the Traveling Helmet. If that was involved in the story I would be very amused! I’ve seen some versions where Azaghâl is a female dwarf, which is interesting, but my Maedhros is gay so I’d rather not have that here. Unless you want to make Maedhros and Fingon both women, too, in which case go for it!

Maedhros/Turgon: Okay in my head Turgon hates the Fëanorians and blames them for his wife’s death and all the awful things that have happened to him and his family, and since Fëanor himself is dead he shifts all that blame onto Maedhros (and there’s the added resentment that Maedhros is fucking Turgon’s brother). Of course he also blames himself but he doesn’t want to admit that. Maedhros on the other hand (which he only has one of) doesn’t like Turgon but he also blames himself for a lot of the bad things that have happened and basically this all comes to a head after Fingon’s death where they’re both grieving and angry with each other and themselves. Hatefucking!! Fealty - Mae already had a fealty kink from Fingon’s time as king, and now he’s swearing loyalty to Turgon as the new High King... Maybe this is the immediate aftermath of the Nírnaeth and everything is super raw, or maybe it’s some sort of AU where Turgon gets off his ass and tries to unite the Noldor against Morgoth when Ulmo warns him about Gondolin’s fall and he has to confront his least favorite half-cousin. Comparisons between Fingon and Turgon’s physical appearances would be great, Maedhros almost letting himself forget that Fingon is dead for maximum angst, but then Fingon was short and Turgon is almost as tall as Mae is so the illusion is shattered and also Turgon just REALLY hates that Maedhros was genuinely in love with his brother because it would be easier to despise Mae if that was all manipulation. Mae not taking care of himself and purposefully pissing Turgon off and letting himself be manhandled. Turgon who hates how much this is all turning him on. Just a lot of resentment and angst!!

Ok now we get to the Túrin ships, prepare for this disaster human being even MORE of a disaster!

Andróg/Beleg/Túrin: I love Beleg/Túrin (don’t we all?) and throwing Andróg into the mix is very interesting to me! Were Túrin and Andróg messing around before Beleg showed up again? Andróg is canonically jealous of Beleg’s relationship with Túrin, and mistreats him...but Beleg heals his wounds anyway. Enemies to lovers would be very fun here, with tension born of both rivalry and attraction. Is Túrin trying to nudge his two lovers together? Is he trying to be with both of them separately but they make things difficult? Does Beleg try to save Andróg when Amon Rûdh falls? Really anything with these three during the time they’re together in canon would be excellent.

Finduilas/Gwindor/Túrin: I JUST THINK THEY COULD HAVE MADE IT WORK, YOU KNOW? There’s some juicy Túrin/Gwindor lines in COH, Túrin has a thing for blonds so I can see him developing feelings for Finduilas even if he didn’t necessarily have them in canon, Gwindor and Finduilas’ doomed romance just breaks me and I want to FIX it!! If they had been better at communicating, maybe...idk, this could be a fix it or not, but they’re all drama queens and they’re all in love with each other and what if Túrin had managed to save Gwindor and Finduilas and they all went to Brethil together, or something?? Who knows I just need them all together!

Maeglin/Túrin: I feel like I’m the only person sailing this ship but I will go down with it. So WHAT that they never met in canon?? They have MATCHING SWORDS and they’re both doomed by family curses and I think it would be incredibly sexy of Túrin to go to Gondolin. Or maybe Maeglin and Aredhel escaped to Nargothrond (perhaps with Celegorm and Curufin?) and that’s where they meet? What if their curses cancel each other out and they help each other avoid their dooms! What if Maeglin tries to duel Túrin for the right to wield Anglachel! What if Túrin also has a thing for Idril (again...he’s got a thing for blonds, especially blond elves) and they bond over being jealous of Tuor and then fall in love! What if they refuse to acknowledge the insane amount of sexual tension between them until some incredibly inopportune moment like Idril and Tuor’s wedding! So many possibilities and I just adore the concept of this ship!!

Celebrimbor/Maeglin/Túrin: I like to call this ship “Doomed Disaster Boyfriends.” I think this works best in that Maeglin in Nargothrond AU; Celegorm and Curufin have been exiled by Celebrimbor and Maeglin and Aredhel stayed behind in Nargothrond when they left, or maybe Aredhel went with them but Maeglin didn’t, or maybe Aredhel fought in the Nírnaeth and didn’t make it through the battle or something. Although if you wanted to take the Gondolin route instead, where Tyelpë makes his way to Gondolin after the Nírnaeth and Túrin joins up with Tuor instead of heading to Brethil, that would be neat too. Or if you want to go a super dark route: Tyelpë was taken captive to Angband after the Nírnaeth, and Beleg didn’t manage to rescue Túrin so he’s in Angband too, and Maeglin gets kidnapped himself, so they all try and break out together... Anyway: whatever the situation they’re all horribly doomed, they all have family curses, Tyelpë and Maeglin is a great ship because they’re both smiths and everyone hates their dads, Maeglin and Túrin is a great ship because they have matching swords and they’re both super dramatically emo, Túrin and Celebrimbor is a great ship because honestly of course it was Tyelpë who reforged Anglachel into Gurthang and they were both kind of outsiders in Nargothrond - anyway just. Throw them all together into one screaming angsty mess that probably ends up even worse than in canon, I would LOVE that. And Tyelpë outlives both his boyfriends and eventually falls for Annatar who unbeknownst to him had a hand in both their awful demises...

Celebrimbor/Narvi/Annatar: Why feel torn between Celebrimbor/Narvi and Celebrimbor/Annatar when you can have BOTH? We don’t know when Narvi was alive, and it’s entirely possible Annatar’s stay in Eregion overlapped with the crafting of the Doors of Durin. Maybe Tyelpë has a preexisting relationship with Narvi and falls in love with the beautiful stranger; maybe Narvi tries to warn Tyelpë about how suspicious Annatar is but is eventually charmed by him too. Narvi giving Annatar the shovel talk would be amazing. Really I’m interested in anything with these three interacting! Like I mentioned earlier, I love elf/dwarf ships and elf/Ainu ships are great too, so this is a great combination of them :) I generally see Narvi as a female dwarf, but if you’d like to have Narvi be male that’s fine too.

Wow this was longer than I anticipated - I have a lot of rarepair feelings! Thanks for reading this far, and whatever you end up writing for me I am super excited to read it!! And if have questions or ideas or something, my askbox is open and I have anon messages on, I’d love to talk! Thank you <3

#tmi anna #dn rb pls #rpex20

[ughblugh]

Puella Magi Madoka Magica OC - Kefira

two moodboards for the untransformed and the transformed version of my OC. I spent a lot longer on the Mallory version, just because I was still figuring out what I wanted to do. Kefira is probably my favorite. These are my first moodboards, so there you go. Description of character below the cut.

Original Name: Mallory (French - Unfortunate) Hayes (Yiddish Derivative - Life)  Magical Girl Name:  Kefira (Hebrew - Young Lion) Age: 15 Gender: Non-Binary, xie-xir (originally female) Wish: To prevent the death of anything xie cares about. Nationality: American, from Alabama.

Personality: Kefira only cares for xir cats, end of story. Xie has a difficult time being around people, as xie always feels judged and ridiculed. Part of xir holds the guilt for everything xie's done, but it is constantly buried by xir happiness for having xir cats back. Xie enjoys xir freedom, but would much rather spend all day sleeping and cuddling with xir cats. The only exception to this is when xie can cause trouble for others. Kefira loves to see others suffer, and takes some pleasure in stealing Grief Seeds. Xie refuses to take responsibility for what xie's doing, and will ignore any attempts to make xir take things seriously. Kefira is not a very capable fighter, but xie has led to the death of others, specifically others who have wronged cats or xirself. All of this is covered by a calm, even polite attitude, leading many magic users to assume xie isn't a danger. However, when Kefira is being xirself, xie acts cruel and easily amused. Xir only moments of empathy come from when xie will revive or rescue injured cats, moments where xie actually reflects on the people xie's hurt, and usually xie breaks down in tears. The feelings always manage to pass though, with a more unstable Kefira following.

Backstory: Kefira had witnessed a lot of animal death, and for some reason, it all kind of washed over xir. Perhaps it was because xie was a child, or maybe there was some weird acceptance xie had been taught. Either way, xie grew up on a ranch, xir parents training horses for a living. There were an insane amount of cats living in the nearby forest, many of whom would crawl into Kefira's window at night and sleep with xie. At first,when xie was around six, xie was afraid of them, begging xir parents to keep them away, which they did, by closing the window. But then, one day, Kefira saw them hunting rats, rats that had been breaking into the pantry. Xie realized that these cats were doing a good job, and stopped closing xir window. Xie grew up alongside these cats, and when they would stop showing up, or when a kitten would get into the rat poison, Kefira's parents always assured xir that they were in a better place. Kefira believed this, and saw no reason to doubt it. However, the years would pass, and Kefira would make many friends in the cats, and many of them would die. It felt kind of like a weight, slowly building up. Then, around the age of thirteen, xir parents seemed to decide xie was responsible enough to handle taking care of the cats on her own. They would give xir bags of food every  month, instructing xir how much to feed them. Soon, Kefira was interacting with more cats than xie knew how to deal with. Xie saw many kittens being born, and just as many pass away. It was becoming difficult to handle, but xie was afraid of telling xir parents, afraid that the cats would be taken away. However, one harsh summer, and Kefira had almost had it. There had been no kittens born, as the group this time around was mostly male. But a good deal of the cats were sickly, weaker and more foolish. Kefira had to work incredibly hard to keep them healthy, but they all seemed to love her so much, xie didn't care much. Which is why it hurt so much when, right after helping one cat recover from a particularly bad injury, another one got into some bad food and died. Kefira wept that night as xie never had before, xir parents trying to comfort xir. Xie refused to leave her room, leaving xir parents to take care of all the cats, except for the few that would visit xir through the window. And then, right as Kefira was beginning to come back to center, xir dad hit one of the cats. Kefira threw the body away, trying not to seem upset, but xie was dying inside. Why keep cats if you couldn't take care of them? And one of the cats, one of the ones that xie had been keeping by xir side, suddenly spoke up. This cat offered xir a wish, saying that xie could bring all the cats back. Kefira eagerly agreed, thinking of all the long dead cats xie could see again. Xie wished, and figured out that the strange cat probably wasn't a cat after all. It reached into xir, and took something, something that made it so Kefira didn't feel like crying xirself to sleep every night, something that made xie forget all the painful deaths, something that meant Kefira wasn't hurting anymore. That was enough, Kefira thought, as xie passed out from whatever the strange creature did. When xie woke up that night, though, dozens of cats were on xir bed, and cats were all over xir room. Even the ones that xie hadn't seen for years, or the ones that xie had seen die. Kefira ran downstairs to see how many had come back, followed by the cats, only to find xir parents in a panicked state, xir father tossing cats out and xir mother calling the pound. Kefira told them to stop, that xie had brought them back. Xir parents didn't understand, telling xir that this was probably a prank, one of the other farms mad at them for keeping as many cats as they did. Kefira said that they could keep them all, that there was plenty of space for them. Xir parents ignored xir, xir mother telling xir to go back to xir room. Kefira realized that xir parents would never let xir keep all these cats, and that xie couldn't keep them all safe if xie stayed. Xie noticed that xie didn't really care what happened to xir parents, and that a part of xir blamed them for all the pain xie had gone through. Xir powers finally manifested, and xie transformed. All the cats, even the ones that had never died, became dark cat-like creatures, converging into one incomprehensible shadow. They covered the distraught Kefira, carrying xir far away. Eventually, Kefira came to a safe place, deep within the forest. Xie cried as xie sat on the ground, surrounded by dozens of dazed and confused cats, with more approaching xir. Kefira didn't sleep that night, as xie tried to consider what all this meant. The strange creature returned to xir, explaining that now, xie was a magic user, and that it was xir duty to fight witches. Kefira refused to serve, saying that all xie wanted was to protect the cats. The creature told xir that xie could protect them, that witches would cause danger to rhem. Kefira denied this, saying that people caused danger to cats. The creature told xir that not fighting witches would kill xir, and Kefira boldly declared xie didn't care, that whatever xie needed, the cats would provide, as xie would provide from them. Upon hearing this, the creature bid her a goodbye, saying there was no point to talking to xir anymore. Kefira warned the creature, saying that if xie ever saw him again, xie'll kill him. It left, saying no more. Kefira built up a powerful sanctuary in the forest, reviving cats and keeping them healthy and safe. However, xie soon grew weak, as xir soulgem grew dark. Xie sought out other magic users, finding out that xie needs grief seeds to keep xir gem bright. So, xie steals them. Sitting just inside a witch's barrier, Kefira waits for another magic user to defeat the witch, which, sometimes, takes days. Thankfully, xir cats provide much food for xir. Once they do defeat the witch, xir cats easily steal the grief seed. Kefira has become notorious for this, and if another magic user spots xir, they will abandon the witch. Kefira has led other magic users into danger, but xir cats continue to help xir to get away, as well as the tasers xie's learned to bring. Abilities: Can Manipulate Shadows, Can Block Out Light, Can Silence Noise From Outside Shadows, Can Turn Cats Into Shadow Minions, Can Revive/Heal Cats. Weapons: Two handheld tasers. Named Attacks: Shadow Storm - Xir cloak spreads wide, making a shadow for xir cats to gather under, all of which create a larger shadow, covering the entire area. The cats shriek and yowl, preventing anyone from hearing anything, during which time Kefira can do whatever xie wants. This only lasts for a few seconds, at most 30 seconds, at least 3 seconds, length affected by condition of soulgem and control of emotions, with more control meaning a shorter amount. Shocking Strategy: Using xir tasers to stun the opponents, with a stronger effect based on whether xie uses one or two and how long xie tasers, Kefira's cats overwhelm the opponent, blocking them from seeing or hearing. This attack can knock them unconscious, but the tasers lose a lot of effect on most magic users, usually just irritating them. Kefira found this out when xie attempted to subdue a group of magic users, only to get beaten up for xir trouble. Extra: Kefira is allergic to most seafood, and even though xie feeds xir cats this stuff, it does give xir some rashes on xir hands and face. Kefira mostly eats junk food. Kefira’s Witch is called Selima, named after a poem. 

#puella magi madoka magica oc #kefira #my oc #made with adobe spark #made with picsart #death mention #depression mention #dead pets mention #the names were just relevant

[sophygurl]

Did my what’s coming up on TV quarterly-ish organizational project and re-did my shows I watch page. Figured it would be a good time to make an update post on my media consumption of late.

I’m still embroiled in the Big Brother season. It’s been a pretty terrible season truth be told, and I’d have noped out except for there being one houseguest left in there that I adore and want to support, and of course the fan community I have (a chat room I’ve been in for a decade now and also a twitter list of fans, update sites, and BB alum I enjoy interacting with). We’ve still got a ways to go, and I am not watching the live feeds much this season, but still watching the shows (mostly to chat with my friends about) and keeping up with the feeds via twitter to see what’s happening and watching the few small clips of that one hg i still enjoy. 

It’s an interesting thing when being part of a fandom starts to feel like a chore. Like, yes, you do this for entertainment purposes and could stop at any point when it stops being fun for you - but you do also create a community around you and half the fun is that community interaction and it’s harder to let go of that. Because you can’t generally pack that whole community up and take them to another show or experience with you. 

Another fan experience that was a let-down this summer was Veronica Mars. I won’t post any spoilers in case there is anyone out there yet who wants to watch S4 unspoiled and has yet to find out what happened, but suffice to say I am not pleased. 

I did enjoy most of the series right up until the ending. I know a lot of people are upset about other things that happened, but I can defend or at least explain most of that based on what the show and the characters have always been. But that ending. Wow. I am still recovering. And not at all interested in a season 5 or really anything else that Rob Thomas might want to work on in the future. He’s really ruined any fan goodwill he had in my eyes. 

Other TV shows I’ve been enjoying this summer: 

The 100 delivered another fascinating season. I know the show is problematic in a number of ways, but it still has such wonderful characters with incredible arcs of growth and struggle and learning to overcome together. The plots get wilder and wilder, but whatever, I’m along for the ride. 

Agents of Shield was ... interesting. I don’t even know what to say about it anymore, tbh.

American Princess on Lifetime was a surprisingly fun new show - a NY socialite runs off on her wedding day and ends up at a Ren Faire, where she meets new friends and decides to stay and create a new life for herself. It’s charming, sweet, romantic, funny, and fun for any found family fans. 

BH90210′s pilot episode cracked me tf up. I kind of can’t believe the cast is going along with this satirical version of playing themselves trying to get a reboot of the original show going. It’s soapy and campy and so delightfully weird, while also being nostalgic. Can’t wait to see what they do with it. (Also I miss Luke Perry enormously)

Elementary has one episode left and I will be very sad when the story is complete, but happy for everyone involved for having been part of such a unique spin on Sherlock Holmes in such a successful way.

Euphoria season one was an intense emotional process, watching teens and their families struggle with addiction, violence, abusive relationships, sexual discoveries, gender navigation, mental illness, and so much more. Also just a visually stunning show. 

Grand Hotel is a fun soapy new show that I am enjoying very much. Classic soap tropes, a largely Latinx cast, a lesbian main character, and lots of eye candy.

Jane the Virgin put out a wonderful final season and series finale. I laughed. I cried. I was very satisfied. 

Killjoys has started up it’s final season. I’m loving it, but I also wanna cling to it and scream “no! don’t go!” 

Pandora is a new show on the CW, which is interesting. Futuristic space academy featuring a clone, a mind reader, an augmented human, an alien from a planet we were recently at war with, and Pandora herself who has some kinda mystery surrounding her and the recent death of her parents. Lots of political intrigue and conspiracy, with episodic plots that the young adults uncover together each week, and just about every sci-fi trope you could think of being covered. 

Trinkets on Netflix was a cute lil show about teenage girls in a shoplifting support group. It was a really genuine look at the highs and lows of female friendship at that age. 

In other TV watching news, I finally got all of the Northern Exposure DVDs and am doing a long-awaited re-watch of my all-time favorite show. I’m on the second season. 

In addition to completing that DVD collection, I also completed collecting all of the Realm of the Eldering books (yay birthday money!) and am doing my re-read of those. It’s going to take me a long time, because my re-reading gets done while attempting to fall asleep and also when I wake up trying to get back to sleep, so depending on how the insomnia is going, it could be anywhere from a couple of paragraphs to maybe 50 pages tops per night and RotE is a looooot of books. I’m still on the first novel now. 

That also means, I am taking a little break from my otherwise-continual Raven Cycle re-reading lol. 

Other stuff I’ve been reading - started the Wayward Children series by Seanan McGuire, finished Tamora Pierce’s Emelan series (although I think she’s writing one more of those yet), and got caught up on Patricia Brigg’s Mercyverse series. Then, since I’m caught up on all the series I’m reading (other than Wayward Children since I just started it), I went and put a crapton of new books on my library hold list - some of which are the first books in series themselves. So here we go! 

And of course, I’ve been playing lots of Sims. Love love loving the Island Living expansion pack. The mermaids are so much fun, as is swimming and boating in the ocean, other beach activities, and just living in a more communal setting (people show up to help put out fires, bring food over randomly, fix things that are broken, etc.). I definitely won’t tire of the stuff in this pack before the next new pack comes out, which I imagine will be sometime late this fall or early winter, if they go according to the usual schedule. 

Guess that’s all for now. Might do some more specific VMars meta at some point, once I get my thoughts and feelings more collected. IDK. This post is so all over the place I’m not sure if I’m gonna tag it with any specific fandom or media. 

#i don't have a tag for this #fandom thoughts #tv fandom #summer media consumption #also like #i'm not super excited about too many new fall shows this season #though i might make a post about the ones i'm planning to watch anyway #we'll see

[rainbow-hatted1]

What Boredom looks like

1. You just opened up a web browser. What is the first site you visit?

https://www.reddit.com/r/interestingasfuck/

Yeah, that’s sort of my jam. Reddit in general but that is my go to.

vv more below if you wanna deep dive. vv

2. You just walked into a bookstore. What section do you go to first?

The local published section. If it’s a good bookshop they usually have one. Usually it’s poetry, or short essay compilations or local history books but I tend to like the offerings and you’re supporting people who don’t have a big platform yet.

Otherwise, comics and fantasy are my next first stops.

3. You are hanging with your closest friends. What are you most likely doing?

Lately, not much of anything. Arguing… not talking… depressing things.

Ideally, though, there’s a good meal. Either we’ve cobbled it together on our own or it’s a decent take out option and video/board games. Quidditch if it’s a nice day. Basically, where we can sit and bullshit and laugh a lot. That’s the best time with my mates.

4. You just turned your car on. What station is the radio tuned to?

The independent/alt/rock station. In spite making pop music myself I don’t listen to it a lot. Which is probably weird.

5. You have just woken up for the morning. What is the first things you do?

Try to go back to sleep.

6. Complete this phrase: You cannot buy happiness, but you can buy____.

Tacos

7. What would you do if you woke up as the opposite gender?

Probably touch my boobs entirely too much. Liz calls them boob checks… well, if they’re quick and random, this would probably be fondling.  I am ashamed of this answer but it’s likely what I’d do.

8. Are you more likely to cook for yourself or buy food from a restaurant?

I’m prone to laziness but I actually find cooking relaxing so cook for myself. Saves money too. It’s just a good practice to have in general.

9. If you had to lose one of your senses, which one would you rather lose?

Smell, probably. I enjoy food too much to lose taste. And between sight and hearing, I’d miss not having those senses and touch is just kind of important as a human being.  

10. If you could relive any one year of your life, how old would you be?

Dunno

11. Would you take a bullet for anyone you know?

A few someones

12. Would you rather be rich and dumb or poor and extremely intelligent?

Poor and intelligent. Better chances of bettering my situation with that one.

13. What TV character do you most relate to?

Sam Gardner from Atypical.

14. You just walked into a supermarket. What section do you first go to?

Produce. Yeah, you all thought I’d go for the bakery and desserts. Don’t lie.

15. Is sex before marriage wrong?

No. It’s human. So is waiting. It shouldn’t be as polarizing as it is. Sex is part of life and how you want to experience it is entirely up to you.

16. You just won the lottery. What is the first thing you do with your winnings?

Get a lawyer and not tell anyone I won. People get shitty when you have a lot of money. They expect you to make it rain and I wouldn’t. I’d also take the weekly installments. More money overall and you are far less likely to tank yourself with the winnings. Just saying.

17. If your best friend admitted that they have a crush on you, how would you react?

I would be awkward as fuck. Love him, not like that and he has a girlfriend so yeah… it’d be fucked up.

18. Will the USA ever have a female president?

At this point in time: no. Again, this is a polarizing question that shouldn’t be. A woman could run the country I’m not women in charge by that answer. Don’t read into it. I’m merely saying, that with the way the country appears to be currently they will not vote for that. I’m sorry. It’s stupid.

19. You are carpooling with your friends. Are you more likely to be the driver or a passenger?

Passenger. I don’t drive.

20. How short is too short for skirts and dresses?

I’m not ancient or wearing a skirt so I don’t think it matters, but I tend to prefer more modest options on girls.

21. If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, without any consequences, what food would you choose?

Pizza.

22. It’s Saturday night. What are you most likely doing?

Sleeping.

23. You go on a blind date. Your date is extremely beautiful and physically captivating, but you hate their personality. Would you want a second date?

No.

24. How strict should gun laws be?

I think Australia had the right reaction to a massacre

25. Would you rather be the worst player on the best team or the best player on the worst team?

Best player on the worst team. Hopefully, they wouldn’t resent me and we could have a good 90’s style underdog story.

26. How well do you work with others?

Not well.

27. You have the ability to cure only one fatal disease and eradicate it forever. What disease do you choose?

I don’t want that power. Either way people are gonna die and wonder why I couldn’t cure all cancer or something else that’s just as bad…and inevitably another disease will surface that’s worse. There will always be disease even if we don’t like it.

28. If you could go back to college and choose a different degree to study, would you?

Well, considering I’m not in college yet I can still change my mind on that one, but I probably wouldn’t. Care of Magical Creatures but I haven’t zoned in on the specific avenue I want to go in that field yet.

29. Where do you see yourself ten years from now?

Er… traveling the countryside looking for magical creatures and documenting them in the wild. It’d be cool if my friends joined once in a while.

30. Are you pro-life or pro-choice?

Pro-choice isn’t anti-life, for fucks sake people.

31. Would you attend a same sex wedding if invited?

Yeah. If my mates fell in love and get married, I’m gonna be at the party regardless of sexes involved.

32. So far, what has been the greatest day of your life?

The first time HM played to a sold out crowd. That was pretty shocking. We’ve done it since and Nik has carried on doing it on his own but that day was scary and humbling and epic.

33. Has anyone you know ever been arrested?

Yeah, wrongly so but they saw what they wanted and went that’s our guy. Luckily, he didn’t get sent away for good.

34. If it could be one season year-round, what season do would you want it to be?

Fall. But like warm fall not close to winter fall. That fall sucks.

35. What is your biggest regret in life?

Saying such shit things about Anna and Charlie’s mum because I was mad at him. We’ve never recovered from it and it was a stupid in the moment blind rage bullshit thing I can’t ever take back.

36. If you could bring one celebrity back from the dead, who would it be?

John Lennon, probably. But the thing is, not everyone is upset their deaths were untimely. That’s more the livings problem than the dead, I’ve come to learn.

37. What offends you the most?

When people assume how I’m feeling. I’m not exactly easy to read, I know that, and I have a hard time wrapping my own head around my thoughts and feelings. So when I am feeling something and someone says I’m feeling another way because my face doesn’t wash with an emotion or my reaction doesn’t match like it allegedly should it’s really upsetting to me and just makes things worse.

38. Would you rather have an ugly hairstyle or be bald?

Do what you want. It’s just hair

39. At what age did you have your first alcoholic beverage?

16. Yeah, I think that’s right.

40. What do you think happens to us when we die?

Ideally, you move on to another plane. Kind of like a multiverse but one for endings. For a bit you can linger between the here as we know it and there but eventually you either stay and become a ghost or a poltergeist (which depends solely on your continued mental state on the matter of your death) but most move on beyond the veil.

41. What do you think is the best way to quit smoking?

I don’t know.

42. If you could take home any one animal from the zoo, which animal would you choose?

A bear of some sort. Polar, Grizzly, Black…. Whatever they’ve got. Not all zoos have the same bears.

43. Were humans created or did we evolve from earlier species?

I’m gonna go out and say something that pisses people off but I don’t see why it can’t be both. Something came out of nothing which is creating, right? The act of creating something is taking elements and making them something or straight up creating an element. What did that, I don’t know. But at one point there was a creation moment. From there everything on this planet has changed and adapted to the situations and surroundings they came into. Life is change, you don’t change you can’t survive. So both. Both sound right to me.

44. What scares you the most?

Losing everyone I care about… and bugs. Fuck bugs

45. What personality trait turns you off the most?

I hate when people play dumb.

46. You got offered a job to do something you hate, but the pay will make you rich. Do you take it?

No.

47. If today you only had what you were thankful for yesterday, how much would you have?

Sadly, not very much probably.

48. How often do you get mad or upset at yourself?

Everyday.

49. If you could choose one celebrity to be your parent, who would you choose?

I’ll keep my parents, thanks but to answer the question: Reign. At least I’d still have family.

50. If you could only listen to one musical artist for the rest of you life, who would you be listening to?

I would probably choose not to listen to music after a bit. I like variety and I’m not always in the mood for an artist of one flavor but the Beatles? At least their breadth of music is pretty wide.

51. Have you ever used you cell phone while driving?

No

52. Has anyone you were close to die way too young?

Yes.

53. Is world peace possible?

No, I don’t believe it is. It’d be great if it could be. There’s no reason for all this hate but people are always going to clash. We get on for a bit and then boom, it’s done. Peace is an impossibility but we should still strive for it regardless.

54. You go on a blind date. You date is extremely ugly and physically appalling, but you are madly in love with their personality. Would you want a second date?

I don’t know. I want to say yes, be that guy who doesn’t care. Looks really are not everything but ultimately, you should be attracted to your partner. If you aren’t it isn’t likely to work even if their personality is the most beautiful thing in the world.

55. How did you discover that Santa Claus isn’t real?

My little brother told me and I was devastated.

56. Do you believe in God, or some form of higher deity?

I honestly want to but I have a hard time wrapping my mind around how things can be the way they are if a loving god is out there watching us. I think the Futurama episode where Bender gets life on his ass is a great example of how my brain wants to look at it.

And then I read the Bible and get to stories like Zechariah and I’m just left thinking that guy probably had a stroke while praying and the rest is a coincidence.

57. If you could save someone you deeply cared about, but it meant breaking a law, would you do it?

Fuck yes. Without hesitation

58. What is the dumbest thing you’ve ever done for money?

Sold my soul for a sickle once.

59. If you were to make a YouTube video about what you know most about, what would the subject be?

Magical Creatures. I could go on for a very long time about that topic.

60. What do you think is your greatest personality flaw?

I’m rigid. I have a hard time shifting directions when I get going.

61. If your friends spoke to you the way you speak to yourself, would you still want them as friend?

I haven’t got many actual friends so maybe. Better than being alone, I suppose.

62. Have you ever “woke up like this”?

No one has ever “woke up like this”. It’s a lie. It’s always a lie. Even if they look good, that caption shows intent and planning: don’t fall for it.

63. You got offered a job to do something you love, but the pay is one of the worst out there. Do you take it?

If I really fucking love it, yes. But I’m also in a position where I can have a shit paying or no paying job and basically be fine.

64. What do you think is your best physical feature?

My lips?

65. What do you think is your worst physical feature.

My nose is big.

66. Do you know anyone who has committed suicide?

Not suicide no. But I know people who have considered it. Glad they didn’t follow through.

67. What is the nicest thing you’ve ever done for someone you don’t know?

I dunno. I have a habit of giving my bus ticket away if it still has time on it. I know it’s not much but as for random acts of kindness that weren’t really put on display for charities or a fluff news story, that’s the one I’ve got.

68. Have you ever had a night’s dream come true?

No, can’t say that I have.

69. Would you reject a date offer from someone you didn’t like?

yes

70. Which do you think is worse: Failure, or never trying at all?

This is one of those what I say is not really what I do things. I think the second is worse but I often freeze when it comes to choices like this. When I’m by myself: I freeze.

#random #asks #questions #bored #mild entertainment

[modernlcve]

*  —  stats —   spencer meyers !

* — basics !

full name:   spencer burke meyers. nickname(s):   prefers none. age:   twenty - two date of birth:   august seventh. place of birth:   san francisco,   california. gender:   male. pronouns:   he / him. sexual orientation:   gay. level of education:   high school graduate. recipient of a bachelor’s degree in urban sustainability.

* — physical !

tattoos:  none. piercings:   none. notable features:   he really is the blandest mother fucker huh.. weakness(es):   he just gets worked up. scar(s):   none.

* — domestic !

occupation:   intern for parks & recreation.   waits tables at a theme restaurant to pay the bills. residence:  he has a room to himself at the fold. social class:   well off. parents:   richard meyers,   age 56,   can lick my balls.   he puts up with spencer to the best of his abilities  ( poorly ).   sheila meyers,   passed away when spencer was 13 and she was 40.   wendy meyers,   age 43,   his step-mother he surprisingly fucks with.   not enough to get him to come home  a lot,   but enough. siblings:   ian meyers,   age 25,   a young republican whom spencer will unfortunately have to battle one day. zach and cora newman,   his step-siblings who,   again, seem to get his whole Deal more than his blood family. extended family:   notable members of the meyers Brood are their grandparents,   two overbearing old white people always ready to let you know what bullshit they’re on,   and grahams Sect of the family:   spencer’s paternal uncle and cousins,   who all meet up together for big family dinners.

* — personality !

positive traits:   staunch.   fervent.   altruistic. negative traits:   melodramatic.   one-track.   rude. myers-briggs ( x ):   estj;   the executive. temperament:   choleric. moral alignment:   neutral good. horoscope:   leo;   the lion. hogwarts house:   ravenclaw.

* — favorites !

movie:    almost famous. tv show:   chopped. book:   let’s explore diabetes with owls by david sedaris. drink:   he fucks w a good ipa. food:   ravioli from a Very specific restaurant. animal:   turtles. color:   light blue. song:   never tear us apart by inxs artist:   the cure. celebrity crush:   zac efron.

* — impressions !

first impression:  he’s a lot.   he doesn’t really take it down a notch for anyone,   not even for a first impression,   so a lot of people are rightfully overwhelmed by him.   he’s nice enough,   but he always seems like he has eighty other things that he’d rather be doing and they all make him want to die. self impression:   he doesn’t think poorly of himself,   but he does strive to always be changing and growing and doing his Best to better himself everyday.   he wants to leave the world a better place than he found it,   even if in minuscule ways. lover impression:   in generally,   i guess he’d be a Needy boyfriend if only because he has a goal with a partner.   he looks for someone who could balance out his Manic energy.   he’s always going and always trying to move on to the next thing and its romantic 2 think that maybe there’s someone out there that could teach him how  to stop and smell the roses.

* — et cetera !

turn ons:   passion.   confidence.   a strong jawline. turn offs:   passivity.   a man that doesn’t know how to recycle. drink/drugs/smoke:   yes/no/no. dominant hand:   right. clean or messy:   clean. early bird or night owl:   night owl. hobbies or special talents:   he gets into karaoke.   he’s not good at singing,   he just really commits in an admirable way.   he was a competitive swimmer all through high school and college.

* — QUESTIONNAIRE !

01. where was your character born? what brought them to los angeles? what do they like most about the town?

spencer was born in san francisco and,   if he had it his way,   he would still be there.   he thinks it’s the Greatest City In The World,   but he moved away from it when his mom was sick,   and then moved again for school,   and has settled in los angeles for the time being because it’s where he was able to get a job.   he does see himself going back to san francisco one day,   but he doesn’t mind la for the time being.   he likes that he’s out of his element in la,   he thinks it adds a fun challenge to things.

02. who are your character’s friends and family? who do they surround themselves with? who are the people your character is closest to?

spencer’s family mostly consists of his dad and brother and then his dad’s side of the family.   he still sees his mom’s family from time to time,   but they live further upstate and without his mom tethering them together,   it’s just become less frequent that they see eachother.   his dad’s family is close though,   in a weird family dynasty kind of way.   spencer doesn’t fit into the grand scheme of things with them,   and if anything,   plays that up at big family dinners,   so his closer family would be his step-mom and step-siblings,   who don’t play into that bullshit as much.   he surrounds himself with people that treat him well,   he has to put up with enough that don’t already.   i don’t think he has a best friend though,   partly because he’s convinced himself he’s too busy and partly because he just doesn’t take the time with people that he should.

03. what is your character’s biggest fear? who have they told this to? who would they never tell this to? why?

spencer gets freaked out thinking about time and the inevitable end of it all.   he’s got a lot he wants to get done,   big goals and big plans to accomplish them,   but as someone who’s so ambitious,   it freaks him out to think that his time rollin’ around is finite.   how is he supposed to squeeze the Human Experience in with his Professional Ambitions to Save Mother Gaia with such a big chunk of his life already over and done with?   he’s not bashful to talk about this,   so anyone who’ll listen has probably heard it by now.

04. has your character ever been in love? had a broken heart?

i don’t think he’s ever been in love.   i think he has a lot of crushes and little infatuations,   just to get him through the day and give him someone to plot a big grand love story with to fill the void of not having a real relationship,   but no real relationships or connections that got to the point where u could call it love.   in the same way,   i don’t think his heart has ever been broken Like That,   he gets bummed when he gets big crushes on straight guys who won’t look at him but it’s not that deep,   he just finds another unsuspecting man of his dreams.

06. it’s saturday at noon. what is your character doing? give details.

he’s working.   the man is nonstop.   whenever he can be,   he likes to be elbows deep in whatever parks and rec has to give him:   he’s trying really hard to make a good impression and get some Real Experience under his belt.   at noon on a saturday,   he’s harassing whoever’s in the office for some kind of task or project,   just hoping to wear someone down.

07. what is one strong memory that has stuck with your character since childhood?

well , there was one when he was little and he kept telling graham that spiderman and the hulk were boyfriends and they had a son named americus.   that was a hoot.   all jokes aside,   he remembers a trip he took to the beach with his family when he was little,   and night after dinner everyone going out to play frisbee or some Nonsense by the ocean.   it was one of the first times he felt like a passive observer more than a member of the Gang:   he was so bad at both catching and throwing and not getting mad about being bad that he just rolled himself up in a towel and sat there while everyone else played.

09. what is something that upsets your character? where do they go when they’re upset?

he likes being busy,   make no mistake.   it would drive him crazy to not have a full agenda in front of him,   to not have something he was always working on.   but he still gets overwhelmed from time to time,   he toes a thin line of blissfully busy and biting off more than he can chew.   when he gets upset,   he likes to just take a couple laps around the block,   listen to some music,   and then come back and try to re-calibrate.   he doesn’t have too much time to spend on self soothing,   but when he needs to cool down,   he can at least make it multipurpose  ( get a lil exercise,   hit up the grocery,  etc ).

10. when your character thinks of their childhood kitchen, what smell do they associate with it? why?

his mom used to make spice cake cupcakes for family Hooplahs.   spencer didn’t even like them,   because it’s rare to find a kid that does  ( especially when the cream cheese frosting bomb is Dropped ),   but he remembers the smell distinctly.   he’s tried to make them since she died,   but he knows when they’re baking that he fucked them up,   because the smell just isn’t half as enticing.

#( spencer meyers. ) #( stats. )

[batsintheshadows]

Athera the Companion

Inquisitor’s Name: Athera Lavellan Race / Class / Specialisation: Rogue Elf Assassin Gender Identity: Female

Varric’s Nickname for them: Antlers

Short bio: As a typical da’len hunter nearing the time she could recieve her vallaslin, Athera was taken by slavers while away from the camp with her younger brother. Her sacrifice allowed the clan to escape, but lead to a grueling ordeal before she escaped and found her way back home. Now she is a respected hunter and occasionally travels to visit the elves that live in human cities, so they may know more of their history should they be interested. She also assists with problems that the human guards tend to ignore.

What would their companion card look like? I actually commissioned one of these! it hasnt quite been finished yet tho.

Athera aiming her bow high above her head with a victorious smile as the sun rises, a halla head with three arrows in the horns formed from the clouds behind her and a green bird perched on her shoulder, coat billowing in the wind.

More under the cut, because theres gonna be a LOT here.

Recruitment mission: Athera approaches the Inquisition in Val Royeaux, quietly and from a side street. She wears a hood to hide her face and when asked about it she says that she may be making a poor choice, and if she is it would be better to have the option to hide. Athera tells the Inquisitor that she is visiting family in the city, and has discovered that elves have been vanishing. She says she wants to see what’s going on, but has a feeling that whatever is happening is too much for one person to handle. If pressed about her identity, Athera stays vague, saying that she could get in trouble for looking into this at all, and wouldn’t want that to affect anyone she cares about.

If the Inquisitor agrees to investigate she tells them to meet her at a certain location at midnight, and not to worry about her too much. She has enough martial training to help in any fights there might be.

When you meet up with her, Athera is nervous, checking her arrows and pulling her hood down further over her face. If you ask her about it she says she hasnt ever done “anything quite like this” before.

When you enter the building, you discover a slaver ring and some captured elves. Athera strikes first, no matter what you say, and in the ensuing fight her hood comes off, revealing her vallaslin. when everything is said and done Athera very pointedly ignores the party in favour of freeing the captured elves, who are very grateful for her arrival. She asks if they will be able to get back to the alienage safely and one of them says that they can get them there, leaving Athera free to look for letters and talk to the party.

She picks up some letters and folds her arms, and asks the Inquisitor if they are going to take any sort of action now that they know a Dalish elf is meddling in the city. There is an option to tell her that if she joins The Inquisition then the Inquisitor will stay quiet. Athera is silently furious, but says she would prefer this to end without bloodshed if possible. Athera Greatly Disapproves if you pick this option. You can also ask about her lying to the group. Athera claims she never lied and points out the ways that everything she said was technically true.

Otherwise you can attempt to turn her in, which causes her to flee and become unrecruitable. or you can say that you won’t alert the guards. In the latter case, she is grateful and asks to join The Inquisition. When asked why she says:

“I’m not stupid. A big hole in the sky? Demons around every corner? This could be the end of the world. My clan can’t outrun that. You’re the only ones I’ve seen even trying to make a difference. If theres any way out of this, its with the people that arent caught up in petty squabbles. So yes, I won’t like being away from my clan for so long, but I’ll like it even less if the world dies.”

She agrees to meet the Inquisitor back in Haven, and pulls her hood back up, heading off into the night.

Where they would be in Skyhold / Haven: In Skyhold she would probably hang around in the gardens, but move to somewhere around the stables if it was converted into a chantry garden. In Haven she would be on the docks by the frozen lake.

Personal quests: 

Quest 1: After arriving in Skyhold and gaining some approval, Athera will go over what she found in the slavers letters. She says that the slavers were reporting to a merchant called Vivicus, and that she suspects that theyre related to the Venatori. Athera has followed a trail that has ended in Redcliffe, and asks the Inquisitor to go with her as backup. If the Inquisitor tries to bring Dorian, the cutscene will not trigger and Athera will suggest trying again with “company better suited to the operation. Like people that never owned slaves maybe.” Once the cutscene triggers, Athera give you what she knows about the slaver. A small and pretty easy fight with demons ensues as you enter the building, and the party makes it up the stairs to a room with a man in fine clothes sitting on a chair facing away from the group. As the group approaches, the man falls sideways when touched, revealing he is very dead and has a note stapled to his chest that simply says “your move Inquisition -V”. Athera is upset by this, and tells the Inquisitor that they need to be sure the body gets proper death rites. Back at Skyhold Athera thanks the Inquisitor for their help and apologises for dragging them into her mess. She says that itll probably last a while as well, if this guys as much of an asshole as he seems to be.

Quest 2: Occurs after either The Fade or The Winter Palace. Athera is reading a letter, and claims that its information on Vivicus. If asked about where the letter came from, Athera says she’s been tracking weird courier orders and got lucky with this one. Athera says the letter reveals that Vivicus has somehow discovered her identity and is using it against her. She doubts her clan will be targeted, but asks permission to grant them safe passage through the surrounding lands and trading rights at Skyhold. She admits that in spite of what her clan could bring in, its really just a favour to her. If the Inquisitor agrees, you get the option to open a new area on the war table, but cannot select Dorian for the mission. When you arrive, you run into an ambush of slavers who seem to be expecting you. The fight is really difficult, but you only need to defeat half the slavers to trigger a rescue by Athera’s clan. As the last of the slavers fall, Athera gets the attention of one of the hunters and gives him a big hug, introducing him as her younger brother Elgadir. Elgadir is overjoyed to see his sister again and says the clan has been worried since she stopped writing. Athera replies she has been writing weekly and getting letters back as well. After a bit of confusion, they figure out something weird is going on, and tells the other hunters to check if any of the slavers are still alive. One is, and they get to them before the throat cutters do. Elgadir says that he doesnt much like the idea of bringing a slaver back to any of the clans camps, but if this problem is gonna get solved then they’ll probably have to. one of the other hunters goes ahead to warn the clan to prepare for a captive and some guests. Elgadir gives the Inquisition members a warning that if they do anything foolish, they will pay with their lives, but if they approach in good faith, then the clan will be happy to do business with them. The party is introduced to the clan and Athera goes off to talk with her brother and the Keeper, leaving the team free to explore. There are a few quests to help the clan or act like a dick, Athera gets approval or disapproval for them even though she isnt in the active party. To advance the quest, you enter the Keeper’s aravel. Athera sits with her brother hugging her, clearly distressed. The Keeper tells the Inquisitor that they have all come to a consensus that it would be a lot easier to deal with the situation with all the facts, and asks Athera if she would be willing to tell the story herself. Athera then tells the Inquisitor that she was taken from her clan by slavers around six years ago, and though she managed to fake her death and escape, Vivicus has discovered her identity and has been intercepting her letters for a while. The letter that sent her running back to her clan was to be sent to the person that owned her, and she intercepted a similar one at Skyhold intended to sow some discord. Athera says that its probably a game to Vivicus now, and that he will go to any lengths to win. She fears for her clan, as she fears for those she has become close with outside of it. At the prompting of the other two elves, Athera also admits to being very stressed out, since the Inquisitor unknowingly hired someone from the family that used to own her. “Theres a reason I don’t get along with Dorian, I’m scared to death of him.” The Inquisitor can tell Athera to stay with her clan for safety, offer to expel Dorian from the Inquisition (Athera will reject this idea because she knows the Inquisitor wouldnt have let Dorian stay if they didnt like him or need his help.), or keep to the plan of allowing the clan safety in the lands around Skyhold. Back at Skyhold, Athera thanks the Inquisitor for listening to her, saying she feels far more at ease now that someone knows, but begs the Inquisitor not to tell anyone her secret and to make tracking down Vivicus as much of a priority as possible, otherwise she doesnt know what could happen to her.

Quest 3: Takes place after the second main quest you complete after unlocking Skyhold. Athera and Dorian are arguing as the Inquisitor approaches them, though most of the shouting seems to be coming from Athera’s side with a lot of what is obviously swearing in elvish. When pressed, Athera accuses Dorian of going through her letters, and Dorian denies the accusation. “If you would listen before you started screaming at me, you would know that this is my letter. That I was trying to give to you quietly. But if you insist on discussing this in the courtyard...” Athera snatches the letter and runs away, leaving Dorian to ask the Inquisitor to go after her, saying that Athera probably wouldn’t want to see him right around now. When the Inquisitor finds Athera she is incredibly upset, and lets them know that this letter has been opened and Dorian knows who she is now. The Inquisitor can comfort her or be awful, and after theyre done talking Dorian knocks on the door, asking to come in. Athera tells him to keep his distance, and he agrees. Trying to lighten the tension, Dorian makes a joke about how Vivicus is really an idiot if he thinks sending Dorian a letter is going to do anything, what with the whole pariah thing. No one laughs. Athera asks Dorian what he’s going to do, and Dorian suggests using the note to lure Vivicus out. “We’ve been playing cat and mouse for months. I’ll be glad to see it end.” Athera tells Dorian that she doesn’t trust him, and will only go if the Inquisitor comes too. Dorian agrees, and they begin to make a plan, through the door because Athera can’t face him yet. After this, a war table mission to smuggle a letter to Vivicus opens up, and once it is completed a mission on the storm coast opens up called “Trigger Venatori Trap”. Once there the party fights off some Venatori, and Athera slowly breaks ranks with the group, making herself an easier target and leading to Vivicus showing himself at last. The rest of the party sets up a good flanking position and a boss battle against Vivicus, who is a blood mage and ACTUALLY DOES BLOOD MAGE STUFF WHY DID THEY LEAVE THIS OUT OF DAI???, begins as Dorian makes a snappy “oh what an idiot” type remark at Vivicus. The party are victorious, and they return to Skyhold where Athera tells the Inquisitor that she has no idea what to do now, since she has no way of knowing who Vivicus sent letters to. If you did a war table mission to stop the letters, you are able to reassure her that the Inquisition has the situation under control. Athera says that she likes the Inquisition, and whatever comes she would like to stay until the end as long as her and Dorian are kept separate. Preferably on opposite sides of the castle. At this point Dorian wanders past because a little light humour won’t kill anyone and begins yammering on about their victory a little too nervously. He admits that he’s been feeling a bit nervous since finding out about Athera’s past, but has done some deep soul searching and wants to apologise for how the relationship between the two of them has been. He promises to try and do better in the future, to which Athera replies “You’d better! Your family put me through hell! The least you can do is try and make it better.” Dorian doesnt make eye contact, and promises to keep her words in mind. He also says that they don’t need to speak again if Athera needs space. Athera says that would be for the best, but she won’t complain if they end up working together since stopping the end of the world is more important than the hurt one person carries. As Dorian turns to leave, she lets him know that once corypheus is dead all bets are off, and that she’ll probably throw him out the window, but the comment doesnt have much bite to it.

How to get their approval: helping elves and mages, respecting artifacts, killing venatori, freeing slaves, and generally not being an ass.

How to get their disapproval: Cruelty to elves and elven relics, slavery in any form, chantry and templar supporting, being an ass to mages, and victim blaming anyone.

Are they romanceable? Y/N Can you have sex with them? Y/N Are they open to polyamoury? Y/N If they can be romanced and are not, will they begin a relationship / relationships with other character(s)? If so, who? Sera already gets with Dagna, so odds are Athera wouldn’t get with anyone if unromanced.

Who are they friendly with? Vivienne and Sera (after a while).

Who do they dislike? Cassandra, Dorian, and Solas.

Companion card changes: (use a text descrip. if you have no images)

Loyalty:  Athera stands in the middle of a dark forest, her bow ready to draw and a smile on her face as she moves. the trees are gnarled and twisted, something could be hiding in them. but she is armed, and the forest is her home.

Romance: (if any) The bow and arrows have been put aside, and Athera sits cross legged by a campfire. there are trees all around and Athera has a serene smile on her lips and a look of total peace in her eyes.

Side Missions: (eg: fetch / gather / kill quests) None because fuck those. Ok maybe destroying monuments to the Exalted March on the Dales. Thatd be pretty satisfying. Also a war table mission to ensure that no letters get to the Pavus family that unlocks a dialogue option at the end of Athera’s last quest.

Opinions on mages / templars / how the world is going to shit? Templars fuck shit up, mages have been friends and guides to the clan and the Templars always try to take them away and people get hurt. She would rather just leave the Templars alone entirely. And of course mages can be trusted with their own lives! Everyone else does it what makes them so bloody different?

She has more nuanced opinions on the Chantry and how it relates to the oppression of mages and elves, and how its all a bid for power, but she’ll only talk abt it with an Inquisitor she likes.

Something guaranteed to make them leave the party: defiling the graves at the elven burial site in the exalted plains, killing the golden halla, or straight up betraying her.

Special Events:

Imprisoned at Redcliffe: How is your Inquisitor holding up in Redcliffe, being slowly infected with red lyrium over the course of a year?

Athera is almost unable to speak at all after a year in Redcliffe. She talks in fragments, and when she first sees the Inquisitor she just stares at them for a long time with a blank look on her face, waiting for them to either do something or vanish. Whenever Dorian speaks she glares at him. After all, this guy from Tevinter shows up and then everything fails and the world dies? She’s been blaming him. The Inquisitor has to talk her down.

She puts all her remaining energy into the fight ahead, wordless, expressionless, and merciless. When it comes time to hold off the horde she says in the flattest voice possible “Going out. Hold them off. Do not fail. Dareth Shiral.”

At the Winter Palace: Does your Inquisitor enjoy the party, any special events with them at the Palace?

Athera spends most of the party doing things to mildly offend the Orlesian elite, talking with the elves, and quietly smashing expensive vases when no ones looking. She likes being in Halamshiral, hates what it is now, and corners more than a few nobles and gives them a “history lesson.” She will do the same to the Inquisitor if they ask, but will be less passive aggressive about it. She also complains about the outfits, saying she hates red but Josephine wanted everyone to “present a unified front” and she couldnt wriggle out of it.

She also takes joy in being announced as “Athera Lavellan, Hunter of Clan Lavellan and Emissary to the Cities.” since she’s betting he’s never had to introduce an elf before, let alone introduce one with a few titles.

When asked about it later, Athera says the only good thing at Halamshiral was Briala, with various comments depending on what happened.

In the Fade: Your Inquisitor’s reaction upon entering the Fade? Archdemon’s taunt, and Inquisitor’s response? Epitaph on their grave?

Athera does not understand any of this. She shoots arrows, mainly at wolves and terrible people. now there are demons here because its their home that theyre the ones invading and what with recent events theres pretty strong evidence that this sort of thing doesnt end well. Athera isnt mindlessly terrified, but she. wants. OUT.

Nightmare: “What’s this now? Valeria, pretending to be a wild elf? You looked much better in red.”

Athera: “Say that name one more time and I’ll rip you in half.”

OR

Nightmare: “Dont worry about Marcus hating you for leaving him. He died a month later, his thieving ways finally discovered and punished.”

Athera: “You-you’re lying! Theres no possible way for you to know that!”

Nightmare: “That you know of.”

Athera’s grave says “Losing Herself” 

Trespasser: What is your Inquisitor up to two years after Corypheus’ defeat? Any special events with them over the events of Trespasser?

Athera spent the past two years using the influence gained during her time in the Inquisition to help elves in both the cities and the wilds. she has busted up a few more slaver rings and is one of sera’s contacts. she has traded information with the Inquisition out of respect for her place in it and so leliana can send her some useful stuff back. she’s been using her clan as a safe place, and looks forward to returning every second she is away.

Other Major Events: Any other major events that happen with them over the course of the main game?

She becomes friends with Sera, who she likes for not taking things too seriously when everyone else is so grim.

She also has a Talk with a human Inquisitor romancing Sera that more or less amounts to “I know ur cool so this whole thing is probably legit, but if u ever hurt sera i’ll cut off your arm and hit u with it ok good talk kiddo love u bye!”

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu this took a long time and a lot of thought, but i had LOADS of fun doing it! I always like working on Athera’s backstory, though nothing is quite 100% set in stone yet sooooo... dont quote me on any of this.

I was tagged by @heyscience and i am throwing this tag right back at you! Do it!

#asks