#it was 3am and I couldn’t sleep so I read | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

andvys · 3 months

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I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss | part 29

Warnings: major angst, hurt/no comfort, mentions of an ED. get your tissues out, brace yourself for some pain. I cried and so will you. I'm so sorry for this.

Pairings: Steve Harrington x fem!reader | Eddie Munson x fem!reader

Summary: Steve shows up at your doorsteps and you take care of him, the way you always did.

Word count: 10.5k+

A/N: shoutout to @hellfire--cult for helping me with this, I couldn't do this without you Roe, I would've given up, this was so hard for me to write. I need therapy now. Also thank you to my sweet angel bff @taintedcigs for being there for me while I was losing it, you're both real ones

To make this even sadder, listen to the 1, the last time, betty, the outro of all too well by Taylor Swift. Oh and Scott Street by Phoebe Bridgers. Thank me later.

series masterlist

It’s still pouring, the rain is still rolling down your closed windows and the lightning continues to crash through the sky. You can’t fall asleep. You’ve been trying to since you came home, but you can’t. You thought a hot shower would help make you tired, but it didn’t. Now you’re laying in your bed, staring at the ceiling.

You are too giddy to fall asleep. Your heart is still racing. Your skin still feels on fire. You can’t even fight the smile off your face. You feel his hands on your body, his lips on your skin, him. You regret not letting him come home with you. Your bed has never felt emptier. You turn to look at the telephone on your nightstand, contemplating giving him a call but you decide against it when you take a look at the clock, it’s 3am. He must be sleeping already.

Your eyes fall on the picture that wiped the smile off your face when you walked into your room earlier. A sigh falls from your lips. You need to talk to him. You need to talk to Steve.

This night has changed everything.

Your feelings have changed. They have evolved into something even bigger. You have been aware of your feelings for Eddie for a while now, but you never let them out completely. You were too afraid, too scared to get rejected, too scared to lose him because you once again, couldn’t stop yourself from falling for your best friend.

Your best friend who wants you just as much as you want him.

Your stomach flutters and a smile tugs at your lips – your lips that are still tingling from the feeling of all the kisses. You touch them, closing your eyes as you picture him, the way he held you, the way he said your name, the way he couldn’t get enough of you, the way he was so proud to call himself yours. He’s been dreaming about this, he’s been dreaming about you for months.

You never thought that you could feel this way again. You never thought that you could smile again at the thought of someone else. You never thought that you would love again.

Not after him.

Steve had shattered your heart in a million pieces. He stripped you of your powers. He took everything away from you. He made you doubt yourself and everyone around you. You suffered for weeks and months, not knowing how to keep going, not knowing how to get out of bed every morning. You stopped eating. You stopped reading. You lost your joy in the things you used to love doing. You felt so lost and hopeless but you forced yourself to keep going. It felt like learning how to walk again.

But you weren’t alone, you had the people who cared for you.

But most importantly, you had him. Eddie was there. Eddie was there for you, every step of the way. He never left, not even on your worst days. He was there, he was always there and he stayed.

Your heart skips a beat and your chest fills with warmth when you think of all the times he cheered you up and gave you a shoulder to cry on. When he took care of you despite you not asking him to. He stopped by the coffee shop every morning to get you a coffee and some breakfast, sometimes he came late to school because of it but he didn’t care. He’d take you out to the diner, knowing that you haven’t been eating, he brought you your favorite snacks for movie nights. He knew you were struggling to eat and he did everything to help you without pressuring you to talk about something that he knew would make you uncomfortable.

He gave you the reassurance that you needed.

He took care of you in ways no one else ever did.

And he never asked for anything back either.

He just did it because he wanted to, because he cares about you, because you mean something to him, because you always meant something to him, because you were always something more than a friend to him and he always wanted what’s best for you. All while watching you pine after a guy who broke your heart. He even gave you hope that maybe, you and Steve could find your way back to each other someday – all just because he wanted you to be happy.

You don’t know what comes over you, but tears well up in your eyes.

Eddie always just wanted you to be happy.

You sit up, no longer wanting to wait for the next day to come, you need to see him now.

You throw the cover off your body, your bare feet hit the soft carpet. Your hair is still a little wet from the shower you took but you couldn’t care less. You turn on the light on your nightstand before you rush over to your closet and pick out a sweater, not bothering to change into jeans or a skirt, you leave your plaid pajama pants on and throw the black sweater over your head.

Your heart is pounding in excitement when you think about how he kissed you before you left, how he didn’t want to leave, how he wanted more and more. You can’t wait to do it again. You can’t wait to pull him into a kiss, to hug him, to tell him what you should’ve told him a long time ago.

You take a look in the mirror, smoothing out your hair a little, you put perfume on your skin before you turn around and leave your room, slowly creeping down the stairs, not wanting to wake your mom. You leave the light off as you slip into your Vans, you grab your car keys and you open the door, about to step into night but the smile that was lingering on your face fades away so quickly when you find Steve on your doorsteps.

Steve who was just about to ring the doorbell.

Steve who is soaked from the rain, despite driving here. You can see his BMW in your driveway. How long has he been standing out in the rain?

It takes you a moment to realize the state he is in.

His face is not only soaked from the rain, it’s also soaked with tears. His eyes are red and glassy. His bottom lip is trembling. His body is shaking and you don’t know whether it’s from the tears or the cold rain. He is barely standing and as you take a step closer, you can smell the whiskey in his breath.

Your heart drops to your stomach when you realize that he drove here drunk.

“Steve?” You whisper as though in disbelief.

What is he doing here at 3am? Why is he crying?

Drops of water roll down his face, his hazel eyes are filled with pain as tears continue to fall from them.

He says your name with a pained voice, shakily and sadly.

“I-I needed to see you.”

Your heart breaks at the trembling in his voice.

You furrow your brows, looking him up and down in concern.

What happened to him?

“Dolly, I’m so– I’m so sorry,” he slurs as a sob falls from his lips. He loses his balance and stumbles forward, almost crashing to the ground, but you catch him, wrapping your arms around his waist and holding him up as best as you can. He instantly latches onto you, pulling you against him and holding you tightly.

You blink in confusion, your heart starts pounding faster.

He is crying, he is still crying, holding you tighter than before as he buries his face in your neck. You let him. Despite the confusion that is rushing through you, you let him hold you like this for a moment, only letting go to close the front door and taking the keys from his hands, before you wrap your arms around him again. The rain is soaking through your clothes, his tears are falling onto you, he is holding you so tightly, like he’s afraid to let you go.

“It’s okay,” you whisper as you rub his back, not knowing what else to do.

Did he get into a fight with his dad again?

“I got you, Steve.”

Your words seem to make it even worse though, his body starts shaking even more as soft sobs fall from his lips. He grabs the material of your sweater so tightly, mumbling incoherent words into your neck.

You feel so helpless, not knowing what to do or what to say, so you just hold him.

This happened before, him showing up at your house in the middle of the night, drunk out of his mind with tears streaming down his face, he collapsed into your arms the moment you opened the door, rambling and slurring out words. You later on found out that he had gotten into a fight with his dad about his grades and his future.

But that wasn’t all, you just don’t know the rest of the story, Steve never told you about the things his dad had said to him – how you would leave if he didn’t get his shit together, how you would go off to college by yourself and learn how to live without him, how he would stay back in Hawkins while you would live your life somewhere else without him.

He is sobbing quietly, keeping his face buried in your neck, melting further into your arms.

“Steve,” you whisper as you rub your hand up and down his spine. You longingly look at the keys you’re still holding, a soft sigh falling from your lips. You won’t see him tonight. “Come on.”

“N-No,” he mumbles, thinking you want him to leave.

“Let’s go upstairs, Steve.”

You let go of him and grab his arms softly, trying to move back.

He sniffles as he loosens his grip on you, leaning back, he looks at you through his glassy eyes. He takes in the sight of your face, taking a moment to look at you.

You don’t know what’s going on in his troubled mind but his eyes tell you that he is suffering, and looking at you, makes him cry even harder. Though this time, he presses his lips together, trying not to sob.

Your own eyes fill with sadness the longer you look at him. You move your palm down his arm, taking his hand, you hold it tightly as you lead him towards the stairs. You drop both yours and his keys on the counter, taking another sad look at them before you turn to Steve, making sure that he doesn’t stumble again. He is taking slow but shaky steps, holding your hand tighter than before.

You look up, hoping that you didn’t wake your mom.

You step into your room and you close the door after he walks in, noticing that you forgot to turn off the light earlier.

His sniffles quiet down and you think the worst is over, that he calmed down after letting his tears fall, the tears that he probably kept in for way too long. Steve rarely ever cries or breaks down, he hates it, he hates being vulnerable. So, he keeps it in and he lets all his emotions pile up until there’s no space left.

A look around your room, a glance at a picture of you and him, and the closed window is enough to make him cry again. He lets go of you and hides his face behind his hands.

You feel so lost and don’t know what to do. Not even the worst fight with his dad resulted in this. Your own eyes well up with tears, your heart breaks at the sound of his cries. He once again, collapses into your arms the moment you take a step towards him, this time you lose your balance and your knees buckle causing you both to fall. You drop to your knees as he does too, still holding onto you, tighter than before if that is even possible. He wraps his arms around your waist, burying his face in your chest this time.

“Steve,” you whisper shakily, on the verge of breaking down yourself when he clings to you like he never did before. You know it must be bad.

He feels your hand running down his back, cupping the back of his head, trying to calm him down as you do your best to comfort him. He breathes you in, something that makes his heart shatter even more.

“I-I ruined everything,” he sobs into your chest. “I ruined you, I broke your heart, I broke you,” he slurs. “I-I was.. I found your note, I never read it. I never said I love you, I just, I didn’t say it back, I didn’t say I love you, I didn’t– I put it away, I didn’t read it until now.”

Oh.

Now you understand.

You furrow your brows and your eyes blur with tears.

It doesn’t break your heart to find out that he never read that note, it didn’t matter anyway, he dumped you the next day. You got your answer. But your heart hurts for the girl you once were. The girl who loved him so unconditionally. The girl who cried herself to sleep after each fight. The girl who just wanted him to love her back.

You swallow the lump in your throat and tighten your hold on him.

“It’s okay, Steve.”

He shakes his head and he pulls back a little, looking at you with his sad eyes.

You nod before he can protest. You let go of him to cup his cheeks, trying to wipe the tears, but they keep falling and falling.

“It’s okay,” you whisper, trying to convince him but his hazel eyes look back at you so brokenly.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispers, reaching his hands up to grab your wrists. “I’m so sorry for everything I did to you, dolly.”

You shake your head, opening your mouth to speak but he cuts you off, not letting you.

“Please forgive me,” he cries.

“Steve..” You frown, trying to catch the tears that keep escaping his eyes. You forgave him already. You forgave him because you never wanted to lose him. The past cannot be erased, not even if you were pained or happy, so the only thing is to look forward, and you don’t want to lose him in the future. He needs to understand that but no matter what you say now, he won’t listen.

“Dolly, you don’t understand.” As he says these words to you, he looks at you with pleading eyes.

You shake your head, a pained expression taking over your face.

He opens his mouth to speak when a knock on your door interrupts him. You tear your eyes away from him, looking at your door, startled.

Your mom’s voice sounds through the hallway as she knocks on your door again, “is everything okay?”

“Y-Yeah, hold on!” You call out to her before you turn back to him. Moving your hands down to his arms. “Come on, let’s get you up.”

He doesn’t protest, instead he takes your hands and stands up with you.

You lead him towards your bed and push him down, placing your hands on his shoulders, you look into his eyes, “I should go talk to my mom, she’s probably worried about the noises.”

He sniffles, nodding at you.

Before you can move away, your door opens, the light in the hallways shining into your room. You’re met with your mom’s concerned eyes, she looks at you first before her eyes find Steve’s figure sitting on your bed. Her eyes widen and she gasps as she takes in the sight of him.

“Steve, honey, you don’t look good, are you okay?”

That only seems to make him sadder. No sounds escape him but the tears fall even harder than before and the urge to break down yourself feels stronger than ever.

Your mom looks just as helpless as you do, you may not talk to her about your feelings but she can read you like an open book, and right now, she can see how much you’re suffering too.

“We’re okay, mom. I-I got this, you should go back to sleep.”

She hesitates. Looking at you with worried eyes.

You nod at her, pleading with your tear filled eyes.

She sighs, face falling a little. You feel bad for shutting her out but she had enough to deal with herself in the past few years, she shouldn’t deal with your problems now too.

She nods at you, taking another look at Steve before her eyes meet yours again, “let me know if you need anything.”

“I will, mom.”

She closes the door, leaving you alone with him.

You close your eyes for a moment, taking a deep and shaky breath, trying to fight the tears.

He is still holding your hand and crying his eyes out.

You take a look at him and suddenly feel like throwing up because of the overwhelming pressure in your chest. You can’t take this.

He looks up at you, tears rolling down his red cheeks, he looks so heartbroken and you can’t stand to see him like this. It hurts so bad. It fills you with so much sadness but also with anger because none of this would have happened if he wouldn’t have changed his mind about you.

“Let’s get you out of these clothes, you’re gonna get sick if you stay in these any longer.”

You turn around, letting go of his hand, you walk to your closet and open the door, taking out the box that you’ve been meaning to give him back months ago. You take the lid off and rummage through it until you find what you’re looking for, one of his old shirts. The whole time, you’re biting back tears, not wanting to cry. It’s hard not to when you have to face him again.

Why does he have to begin this over and over again?

You’ve been here before. You’ve done this time and time. You forgave him already, you gave him a second chance, you were ready to move on.

Why does he have to do this now?

He is staring at you with a sullen look in his eyes, there is so much sadness, so much pain and heartbreak in the eyes you used to love so much.

“Here,” you whisper, placing the shirt on your bed, beside him. “Take your shirt off, Steve.”

He can barely see through his vision, his bottom lip is trembling, his hands are shaking, his whole body is shaking from both the coldness that is seeping through his shirt and the pain that he put himself in.

He reaches for the hem of his shirt, clumsily.

You sigh and step towards him, leaning down, you push his hands away gently, grabbing the wet material and pulling the shirt over his head.

“Do you want to take a warm shower?” You ask, putting your hands on his cold arms. “You’re freezing, Steve.”

He shakes his head.

“Okay,” you sigh and hand him the black shirt. “Here, put this one.”

“Okay,” he whispers, watching you take his wet shirt and walking into the bathroom. His eyes follow you like the ones of a lost puppy. He no longer feels the tears running down his face, he’s been crying all night, his chest has been hurting badly from the moment he started reading old notes. The way you’re taking care of him after everything that he has done to you, makes him feel even worse.

You walk back into the room a moment later.

He is wiping his tears away after putting the shirt on. You can tell that he tries to hold himself together, not wanting to break into sobs again, but you know that he is struggling to with his emotions in overdrive and the alcohol in his system.

“I’m gonna get you some water–”

“No, please don’t leave me.”

You had never heard him sound so heartbroken, so desperate and scared.

You had never seen him look like this, so fragile and broken.

“Please.”

He takes your hand in his.

“I don’t… I don’t deserve you–”

You sigh, shaking your head as you sit down beside him.

“Steve, stop! We’re friends, we’re over this okay? You need to stop doing this, we talked it all out. I forgave you–”

He shakes his head, catching you off guard when he moves towards you and cups your cheeks.

“I wanted everything with you. I wanted you to be the one so bad. I know we were too young to think so far ahead but.. I wanted it all with you, I wanted to marry you and have kids with you but then I fucked it all up, I ruined everything. I-I don’t know what happened to me, I don’t know what’s wrong with me and why I break everything.”

Your eyes widen in shock, tears you can no longer hold back fall from your eyes and roll down your cheeks. You open your mouth but no words come out. You are too stunned to speak.

You never knew how he truly felt about you and about your future together. You knew that he wanted to go to college with you but that was the only part about your shared future that was mentioned – aside from the promise he made to never stop loving you.

Despite the state of shock that you’re in, you cannot help but cry for the girl that wanted it all with him.

“I don’t deserve you, fuck. I don’t deserve you– and you don’t deserve me. You don’t deserve someone like me, you don’t deserve how I treated you, you don’t deserve how I made you feel, you don’t deserve the pain I made you go through, because you’re so good, and so perfect, and I destroyed that.. I destroyed you.” His voice is so shaky, his tears won’t stop falling, neither do yours. But he wipes them away softly.

Your bottom lip trembles as you look at him in pain.

“Steve..”

He searches for something in your eyes – anger, hatred, rage. But he can’t find any of it. After everything that he put you through, you still got love for him and it makes him hate himself even more.

He knew what he did to you, what he put you through. Yet, only tonight it really sank in, how much he truly hurt you. How much he hurt that one person that he would give everything for – his heart, his soul, everything.

“I’m so sorry for everything, baby.” His voice breaks and he closes his eyes as he lets his head hang low. Only a second passes, before you pull him into your arms again.

“It’s okay, Steve,” you whisper.

It’s not okay. How could it ever be okay?

He left a deep scar, one that you will carry for the rest of your life and there is nothing he can do to fix it.

He wraps his arms around your body and pulls you in, closer and closer until you’re flush against him, in search of your warmth, he buries his face in your neck. He breathes you in and holds you tightly, like it’s the last time. Enjoying the feeling of your hand running up and down his spine as your other hand cups the back of his head. His lips touch your skin, he is unaware of the marks on your neck. He is unaware of who’s hands, who’s lips have touched your body tonight.

“I’m still your dolly, Steve,” you whisper into his shoulder.

Yes, you are still his best friend.

Still his dolly.

But never his girl again.

You stare into nothing as you hold him, breathing slowly. Your lips are pressed against his shoulder, you tighten your arms around him even when his cries quiet down and his breathing slows down, you still hold him, not ready to let go just yet.

The room becomes silent, so silent that you suddenly miss the sound of his voice.

“Steve?” You whisper.

His head is laying on your shoulder, his breathing slow and steady. You know that he had fallen asleep but you still whisper his name again. When you get no response, you move back slowly, careful not to wake him. You push him down softly, adjusting the pillow beneath him.

Your eyes soften as you take in the sight of him. You scoot closer to him, bringing your hands up to his face, you wipe the fallen tears and caress his cheek. Running your fingers through his hair and pushing away the fallen strands.

You blink, feeling the hot tears burning in your eyes.

The joy in your heart faded the moment he crashed into your arms. Right now, it’s just hurting.

You know why he came here tonight.

Not for comfort. Not for a second chance. Not for forgiveness. No. He came to end things, once and for all.

With a heavy heart, you tear your eyes away from him and push yourself up. You lean down to take his Nike’s off, you lift his legs up on the bed and grab the covers, pulling them up to his chest. You notice the wristband, the one you gave him two nights ago, he is wearing it.

You can’t remember the last time he was here in your room, let alone in your bed. It’s odd, almost strange to see him here.

You look out your window, noticing that the rain has stopped falling. You hear the tires of a car screeching through the night. Jimmy Davidson must be back from college, you think. The jock is the only in town who drives like a maniac – well, besides Billy Hargrove and Eddie.

You take one last look at him before you turn around and leave your room, wanting to grab some water and advil for him. You close the door carefully and make your way downstairs.

You notice that the lights are on in the kitchen. The smell of hot chocolate lingers in the air. Your mom is still awake. You find her sitting at the table by the window, with a magazine in front of her. A blanket around her shoulder and glasses perched on her nose.

You feel bad for waking her up, knowing that she works the morning shift this week. But just her presence alone gives you the comfort that you so desperately need, right now.

She looks up when she feels your presence. She takes her reading glasses off and places them on the table, pushing the blanket off as she stands up, she wastes no second to make her way towards you, the same concerned look as before resting in her features.

“Is Steve okay?”

You nod, swallowing the lump in your throat and blinking the tears away.

“Yeah. He’s sleeping now.”

She knows that you’re not telling her everything, you never are.

Sighing, she raises her hand towards your face, cupping your cheek as she gives you a smile, a sad one.

“Are you okay?”

Tears that you have just blinked away, well up in your eyes again. This time you hesitate. This time you can’t tell her that you feel okay or even good. You can’t hold your feelings back, not tonight.

“You can talk to me. You never do and you always hold yourself back with me. I am your mother and I will listen to you, I’m here for you. So please, talk to me, sweetheart.”

You look into her kind eyes and you suddenly feel like breaking down. You have been holding back for so long, hiding your true feelings, not letting them shine through out of fear that this would happen.

But everything is crumbling now, all the last pieces that were holding you and Steve together had fallen apart the moment you had broken the barrier and kissed him.

You don’t know where to start, there is so much to tell.

So, you start with something you’ve been dying to get off your chest.

“I love Eddie, mom.”

It feels like a relief to finally say it out loud, the words that you kept away for so long are now out in the open and.. it feels right.

You watch for surprise to flash in her eyes but there is none. In fact, she doesn’t give you much of a reaction at all. A knowing look crosses her face, that’s all.

“Is that why Steve was crying?”

You shake your head.

“No. He doesn’t know,” you mumble, looking down. “I haven’t told him yet.”

“Then what happened to him?”

You can hear the worry in her voice. You wonder if it will still be there when you tell her what he did to you. You never told her why he left. You never told her how much he hurt you. You never wanted her to think badly of him, not even after he broke your heart so carelessly.

It feels like the world is weighing on your shoulders and the urge to throw it off feels so strong. You’ve been carrying it around for too long.

“He came to apologize, to ask for forgiveness.”

“Forgiveness?” She asks. “Did you two get into a fight?”

“No, mom.”

She tilts her head, giving you a questioning look.

“Can we sit down?” You nudge your chin towards the table. “It’s a lot to talk about.”

She nods, a smile tugging at her lips. She wraps her arm around your shoulder and she leads you to the table.

You sit down by the window and watch her move to the other side. She doesn’t take a seat though, instead she grabs the blanket and walks back to you, wrapping it around your shoulders and stepping away for a moment.

Your eyes follow her in curiosity.

She grabs your favorite mug from the cupboard and places it on the counter.

You prop your chin on your palm and watch how she makes you a hot chocolate, the way you always loved it, with mini marshmallows on top.

As you watch her move around in the kitchen, you realize how much you have missed this, how much you have missed your mom. This reminds you of older days, simpler days. Days where you had woken up from nightmares and sneaked into your parents room to wake your mom. She always knew how to comfort you. Instead of taking you back to bed and reading you a story, she always took you downstairs, made you hot chocolate and let you talk about whatever had troubled your young mind.

And now you’re so much older and you don’t talk anymore. But you need to, you need to talk about it all so badly. So, you do.

You tell her everything – from the sweetest note, to your overthinking, to all the fights she never knew about, to Nancy, to Tina’s Halloween party, to Eddie… You tell her absolutely everything.

Tears fall as you talk about it all with a heavy heart. Relieving all the painful moments of your life and feeling the guilt of watching her eyes flash with sadness when she finally finds out the truth.

How you cried yourself to sleep. How you stopped eating and pretended to be okay in front of everyone. How heartbroken you were after he left. How unloved you felt for so long. How you have lost yourself after losing him before Eddie stepped into your life. How much Steve changed because of her. How he came back to you. How much he cared about you after all. How much he loved you after all.

And as you finally talk, you can feel the weight getting lighter and lighter, falling off your shoulders but not completely. Not yet. But you let it all out, just like you tried with Robin but this feels different, your mom doesn’t try to lecture you, she doesn’t tell you what to do, what’s right and what’s wrong – she just listens because she knows that this is what you need.

To talk, to cry, to feel.

And when your tears stop falling and you calm down, she wraps her arms around you and pulls you into a tight hug.

“You are such a brave girl. I know you had your friends with you, and Eddie especially. But you didn’t have to be alone in this. I was here. I have always been here, my sweet girl. You were never alone, you were never unloved.”

You close your eyes, ignoring the trembling in your lips and the shakiness in your hands as you hug her tightly, laying your chin on her shoulder. She rubs your back and squeezes you.

In her arms you feel safe and comforted, you don’t need to hide, you don’t need to feel embarrassed or scared. You’re just safe and at home.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you, mom,” you whisper when you realize how lost you’d truly be if you didn’t have her. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

“I’ll always be here, sweetheart.”

You sniffle, falling silent again.

“You know.. I always knew by the way.”

“Huh?”

“That you loved Eddie.”

Shocked at her words, you pull away from the hug and stare at her with wide eyes.

“I know how to see your emotions through your eyes, my love. I am not your mother for nothing,” she laughs while wiping away your fallen tears, tucking your hair behind your ear.

You roll your eyes with a soft smile on your face.

“And I also knew about Eddie’s feelings. That boy would blush every time he came to pick you up and you would come down with a new dress or skirt. I don’t know how you didn’t see his ears getting all red.”

Your eyes grow bigger, softening after her words as you’re beaming at her.

“You think he loves me, mom?”

She giggles, staring at you as though you’ve gone crazy.

“Someone would have to be blind and deaf to not notice that.”

You blush at her words, though you can’t hide the excitement that crosses your face when you think about him, when you think about seeing him later. You look at each other, as though she can read your mind, you both start giggling.

She looks at you fondly, squeezing your hand.

“You know that I’m proud of you, right?” She smiles. “You’re so strong. You have always been a fighter.”

“No. Not always,” you shake your head. “I didn’t always fight for what I wanted.”

“But now you do, right?”

You nod.

“Yeah, now I do.”

Your mom looks towards the stairs. You know what’s on her mind. You saw the disappointment, the anger and the sadness in her eyes when you told her the truth about Steve.

You know that she isn’t angry at him – she would have been had you told her the truth from the start. But a year has passed and things have changed. Steve has changed. You have changed. And despite what you have gone through, you still love him.

And that is another reason for your tears. Steve has always been a part of your life and she knows that you are afraid to lose him again. You might lose your best friend.

“And do you still love Steve?”

“I do..” You whisper. “That’s why it’s all so.. complicated.”

“Is it?” She asks, giving you a small smile. “Or do you make it complicated?”

You tilt your head, raising your brows at her question.

“You can love them both and they will both be special to you, no matter what. But you can be in love with only one person.”

You let her words sink in, but your heart only hurts more.

You have been here so many times already. You have told yourself that you let him go, you have convinced yourself that you did but did you ever let him go? Did you ever allow yourself to move past it? No. Because letting go of him always filled you with so much fear.

“I don’t want to lose him.”

The pain in your eyes is very telling. The sadness gives away who you are talking about.

“But the love you once had for him is somewhere else now, right?”

You’re biting back tears. And after a few minutes of silence, you nod.

“I love Eddie, mom. I really really love Eddie.”

She smiles at your words, taking your hand, she looks into your eyes.

“You know what you have to do then.. right?”

You nod, getting sadder each passing second.

“Yes,” you whisper. “I just– I don’t want to hurt him anymore.”

“You will hurt him more if you don’t talk to him. You need to give him closure. It’s the right thing to do, and it’s the only way the two of you can be happy.”

“I know,” you whisper, shakily.

She gives you an encouraging smile, “you got this, sweetheart. It’s gonna be okay.”

“I hope so..”

She holds your hand a little tighter, giving it a squeeze.

“You should get some sleep. You can sleep in my bed if you don’t wanna go back there. I gotta start getting ready for work now.”

“Already?” You frown as you turn around to look at the clock. It’s 4:30 am already.

“Oh shit, I’m sorry for keeping you up. You really needed your sleep.”

She shakes her head at you, “no, it’s okay. I’m glad you finally talked to me.”

You smile at her, tilting your head to the side, “me too.”

“Take it easy, okay?”

You nod.

She gives your hand a pat before she gets up, ruffling your hair playfully as she moves past you, making you chuckle.

“Hey mom?”

She turns around before stepping out into the hallway, looking back at you.

“Thank you.”

Her gaze softens, brows knitting together.

“Of course, sweetie,” the soft sound of your mom’s voice sounds through the kitchen. “I’m gonna go check on him.”

“Okay,” you nod.

She gives you another smile before she turns around, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

With a sigh, you look down and reach for the now half empty mug, you pull your knees up to your chest, taking a sip of the hot chocolate as you look out the window.

It’s still dark out, the world is still sleeping, and you enjoy the last moments of this.

You’re not ready for the morning to come.

You’re still not ready.

Steve’s head is pounding, the pain is excruciating. He can’t open his eyes, not yet. The sun that is shining into the room is too bright. A groan falls from his lips and he clutches the pillow beneath his head, squeezing his eyes shut after trying to open them.

He hears the birds chirping outside, he must have left his window open last night. He smells the fresh air, it instantly calms the sickening feeling in his chest a little. He sinks into the pillows and breathes in.

The sweet and floral scent is so pleasant, it smells like you. He takes another deep breath, he smells your perfume, your shampoo, your vanilla body wash. His heart flutters and he can’t help but melt into the warmth of the bed and the scents that linger. He feels safe and comforted.

It takes him a moment to realize that his pillows shouldn’t smell like you or your perfume. His bed isn’t usually this comfortable either.

Steve opens his eyes slowly, groaning in pain when the light shines directly into his face. Hiding behind his hands, he sits up. He rubs his eyes and runs his hand through his messy hair. Turning his back to the window, he squints his eyes as he opens them again, trying to get used to the light.

His throat feels so dry that it hurts and his head is killing him. He can still taste the whiskey on his tongue, it makes him nauseous.

Once his eyes are fully adjusted to the light, he takes a look around the room and his heart skips in his chest, his red rimmed eyes widen when he realizes where he is.

His stomach drops when he finds Advil on your nightstand next to a glass of water.

“Oh fuck,” he groans as he buries his face back in his hands. Dread fills him when he starts to remember the previous night.

The note. The Whiskey that he stole from his dad’s office. The tears that streamed down his face when he carelessly drove to your house drunk. You. He remembers the way you held him, the way you cried too.

“Fuck,” he whispers, tugging at his hair.

He chugs down the glass of water and after a moment of hesitation, he gets up from your bed and looks down at himself, noticing the new– well, old shirt. He puts on his Nike’s and walks into your bathroom to splash some cold water on his face but when he turns on the light and he takes a look into the mirror, he can’t help but feel sick. His eyes are red and puffy from all the crying, his skin looks pale and his hair has never looked worse than it does right now.

He shakes his head at himself, hating his reflection more than anything, right now.

With a sigh, he looks down, gripping the counter tightly, knowing that he has to face you now.

He knows that there’s a small chance that you aren’t home, that you have left. But he knows that you wouldn’t do it while he is here, not even if you’re upset with him.

After washing his face with cold water and using your mouth wash to get rid of that awful taste of whiskey, he walks back into your room, trying not to let the sadness take hold of him again but it’s hard not to fall into the pit of darkness again when he stands inside the room of the girl he loves, the girl he has made so many memories with, in here and anywhere else in this stupid small town.

From good memories to bad ones.

From innocent ones like picking flowers for you at the age of 12 to buying you a bouquet of flowers for your 16th birthday.

From comforting hugs at school to cuddling in your bed at nights.

From first kisses on your bedroom floor to more passionate kisses in his car after every stop at the streetlight.

From making love in your bed to fighting in your room with tears streaming down your face.

He sees the box on the ground, the one that you took out of your closet, last night. You kept his things, just like he kept yours.

Did you struggle to get rid of them like he did?

Did you keep them in hopes that you would find your way back together someday?

His hands are starting to get clammy, his heart starts pounding again. He takes another look around your room before he opens the door and steps out into the hallway.

The faint sound of the music coming from the radio tells him that you are in the kitchen. He makes his way downstairs, ignoring the shakiness in his legs or his hands. The smell of coffee lingers in the air.

He presses his lips together as he takes a deep breath before he steps into the kitchen.

You’re leaning against the counter, your chin is propped on your hand, a book lying in front of you, you haven’t noticed him yet and Steve takes that as a chance to look at you.

Your hand is wrapped around a mug that Eddie must have given you, you told him that he loves Garfield. He laughed about it when you did.

It’s only 8 am. He knows you’re not working today, yet you’re already so put together. Make up on your already beautiful skin, hair done in waves, you’re wearing an outfit you certainly didn’t wear yesterday. God, you look so beautiful that it hurts.

His heart longs for you, his hands itch to touch you – something that he could’ve done.

In a different world, he would pull you into his arms and shower you with kisses, he would hold you, not wanting to let you go. He would make breakfast for you and then you would spend the day together.

But you’re in this world.

In a world where he can’t kiss you or hold you or spend the day with you.

“Hey..”

You raise your head and your glassy eyes meet his.

Another wave of guilt rushes through him. You cried. You cried because of him again.

“Hi,” you whisper as you close your book and straighten your back, you look him up and down.

Steve hates how concerned you look, how worried you are over him.

You take a step forward, giving him a small smile.

“Are you feeling okay?”

He shrugs, trying to smile back at you.

“I’ll make you a coffee, you should sit,” you nudge your head into the direction of the kitchen table.

“Okay.”

He walks to the table and takes the seat that was once his. It’s been a long time since he sat here and watched you.

You make the coffee first, pouring some into a Hawkins High mug. You add two sugars, still knowing how he likes his coffee.

“When’s the last time you ate?”

You place the mug in front of him, eying him with softness in your eyes, something that makes all of this even harder.

He blinks, shrugging at your words.

“Okay,” you sigh and pull back your hair, without thinking. “Bagels or Toast? I’ll make you some eggs if you want–”

Your voice becomes faint, like he’s under water, sinking further and further into the deep end. The marks on your neck are now visible to him, the hickeys that he left. Steve is not shocked or even surprised. He already knew when he came to you, last night. It was obvious, even through his drunken haze, he could see it in your eyes, the happiness that shined in them before you took in the sight of him.

It still hurts.

And it hurts even more to think about you with him, especially in that way.

“Toast is just fine,” he mumbles.

“Okay, Steve,” you whisper, this was always his go-to breakfast after a night out. Black coffee and toast. It’s plain but it’s the only thing he gets down.

He keeps watching you. Eyes following your every moment.

There is so much sadness inside of him but there is also more, there is acceptance. He knows why he came here last night.

Bits and pieces start to return to him. He remembers what he confessed to you, how you held him, how you took care of him, how you comforted him.

He truly never deserved you.

You place a plate in front of him, “you sure you want nothing else?” You point to the buttered toast. You added a few berries on the side.

He gives you a smile, “you know I’ll probably get sick if I eat anything else,” he says, chuckling for the first time today.

“Yeah,” you breathe. “You always had a weak stomach.”

“Only when I drink whiskey.”

You nod, sitting down opposite of him. You take a sip of your coffee and lean back. You look down and reach for the magazine that your mom was reading earlier, not wanting to make him uncomfortable by staring.

Steve looks up at you and he just knows it’s the last time that he will have your coffee and your toast.

It’s the last time he will get to sit here with you.

So, for a moment, he pretends that everything is alright, that this is normal, that this is something you both do every day and for the rest of your lives, that he didn’t mess up, that everything is fine.

He takes a few sips of the coffee and eats the toast, and when he’s done, he takes a deep breath and pushes the plate aside, not looking up from the coffee just yet.

“I’m sorry.”

You close the magazine, sighing as you finally look up.

“You said that already… many times, Steve.”

He doesn’t say anything to that. He only looks up at you, his eyes scan your face, his lips twitch.

“You look happy, dolly.”

What?

You shake your head a little, furrowing your brows as you stare at him in confusion.

“You have color in your skin again, you no longer.. are skin and bones,” he says, quietly. Looking down as his eyes fill with guilt, knowing that you stopped eating because of how heartbroken you were. “Your hair is longer, your nails are painted black– a color I didn’t like you putting on because I was a fucking asshole..”

“Steve–”

He shakes his head at you, not wanting you to interrupt him.

“You wear stuff you always told me you wanted to buy, you started wearing makeup, the heavy kind you once tried and loved but thought it was too much,” he says with a smile on his face, a knowing one.

You see the way his eyes fall to your neck and your heart jumps when you realize what he is looking at. Surprisingly, there is no shock in his eyes, jealousy or even anger, just sadness. He knows everything and it’s not the marks on your skin he needed to look at.

“You are living again.. and god, I want to hate him for it but.. how can I when he saved you from the pain I put you through?”

Your eyes burn with tears.

“I’m done standing in your way–”

“Steve,” you whisper, shaking your head. “Y-You’re not standing in the way.”

“Yes, I am.” His voice is thick with tears and by the way he is blinking, you can tell that he is trying not to cry.

He looks down at the necklace you are wearing, the locket he had put around your neck, months ago.

He knows that there is no picture of him inside and as much as it hurts, it’s okay.

He didn’t come here to fight for you. He didn’t come here for a second chance or to get you back. He came here to let you go. So you could find happiness, the way you always deserved it.

“And I don’t want to anymore. I want you to be happy.”

Your bottom lip starts trembling again.

“And I know that you will be with him,” he says as he tears his away from the marks on your neck and he looks into your glassy eyes. “He would never do what I did. He would never put you through all of this.”

You sniffle, looking into your best friend’s eyes. There is so much pain and sadness lingering in them and you hate it, you hate it so much.

“I never let you go, dolly,” he finally admits with a heavy sigh. “Not at Tina’s Halloween party, not when I came to see you the next day, not after we went to Jimmy’s party together. I never let you go.”

Your brows knit together, eyes that stare back at him with pain, fill with more tears. You don’t know what to say, so you say nothing and you look into the brown eyes you always loved so much.

You never let him go either, that’s why it hurts so much.

Knowing that this is the last time crushes your heart in a new way. You know that this could not only be the end of the relationship you always held onto. This could be the end of everything.

This was always your worst fear. Losing him.

You have lost him before but you always knew that he would come back.

And he always knew it too.

But this, this is different.

And this hurts even more than it did the first time.

You still love him, there is no doubt about that. Steve can see it in your eyes, it’s in the way you look at him, it’s in the way your lips tremble and your hands shake as fear crosses your face. You’re scared to lose him.

How could he ever think anything else? How could he ever doubt your love for him when it’s so clearly written on your face? Even now.

Steve can’t help but wonder; would it have worked out between you if there wasn’t someone else?

If Nancy never stepped into his life.

If Eddie never stepped into your life.

Would you have stayed together?

Would you have broken up either way?

Would you have found your way back together in the future?

Would he have been able to make it up to you?

Would you get your happy ending then?

“I dropped some heavy stuff on you last night,” he mumbles, cheeks flushing red when he remembers all the things he had said to you.

“Oh, you mean marriage and kids?” You ask as a smile tugs on your lips when you see him blushing.

He scratches the back of his neck, scrunching his face up, “yeah..”

You laugh a little, leaning your elbow on the table, you cup your cheek, “well, I never thought that far ahead when we were still together. I mean, I never knew what I wanted for my future but I knew that I wanted you in it,” you say, watching the way he nods at you. “And maybe a cat or a dog.”

He chuckles.

“Or maybe a few cats and a dog.”

A fond smile reaches his face as he stares at you, shaking his head at the thought of all the pets you’d bring home while he’d– his smile begins to fade, it will never happen.

“Well, I’m sure that Eddie will love that.”

Your heart flutters at the thought of a future with him. Yeah, Eddie will love that.

“You’ll be happy with him. He will make you happy,” he says confidently because he knows that he will. “And if not, well, then I’ll take you back to that treehouse and I’ll marry you again.”

A laugh falls from your lips as a tear finally rolls down your cheek.

“The treehouse we got married in when we were ten?”

“Yeah,” he whispers. “That one. You know I still got that paper ring,” he says with a serious face.

“I do too, I put it in a box,” you giggle.

His eyes light up and he smiles at you, but he watches the tear roll down your cheek and then another. He stands up and he walks over to you, his heart skips a beat when you look up at him with your beautiful eyes. He cups your cheeks, wiping away the tears.

“I don’t want you to cry over me anymore,” he whispers, holding your face for the last time.

“Steve,” you whisper, shakily.

“It’s okay, sweetheart. It’s okay.”

You knew that this was coming. You knew that this had to happen. If he didn’t come to you last night, then you’d be the one coming to him to talk and put an end to this, once and for all.

“I love you with all my heart and I ache for you, all the goddamn time but I don’t deserve you. You should have never forgiven me. You should have never treated me like a friend. You should have never given me the chance to be near you again… not after what I did.”

You grab his wrists, shaking your head at his words. Scared that he will leave you for good. Scared that he will leave your friendship behind and step out of your life forever.

Steve hates to see the way your lips tremble, the way your eyes are nothing but tears, sadness and heartbreak, yet again.

He can’t stand to see it any longer.

“I let you go,” he whispers as he wipes your tears again. “Like you asked me to months ago.”

His heart is screaming at him not to, everything inside of him longs for him to stay, to fight for you, to drop to his knees and ask to try again.

But this is the right thing to do.

There is someone who can give you more than he can.

Someone who didn’t hurt you. Someone who wouldn’t hurt you. Someone who would rather get hurt by you than do something to break your heart.

“I choose you, sweetheart. This time, I choose you and your happiness.”

A sad smile lingers on his face, he brushes your hair back and he looks down at the locket, one last time.

He knows why you aren’t speaking, you’d break down if you would.

He leans down, tilting your head up a little, he presses his lips against your forehead, kissing you one last time.

His throat feels tight and his chest is hurting, he knows that he is on the verge of another breakdown, he is so very close to it.

This is the hardest thing he will ever have to do.

“Goodbye, Dolly.”

Your sniffles break his heart. You only hold his wrists tighter in response, holding onto them, your touch lingers on the wristband, one that he will never stop wearing. You let go after a few seconds.

He feels your eyes on him, your big sad eyes. He can’t bear to take another look at you, knowing that he won’t be able to leave if he does, so he steps away from you, despite his heart telling him not to.

He turns around and he walks away from you for the last time. He grabs his keys that you left on the counter, last night.

With a heavy heart, he walks out of your house, biting back tears as he makes his way to his car.

It’s over now.

Something he held onto since he left you, is over.

And now he doesn’t know what to do with himself.

He unlocks his car when the front door bursts open, startling him. He turns around with tears in his eyes that threaten to spill. Before he can even react, you suddenly crash into his arms, and wrap your arms around him, you hold onto him like you’re afraid that he might disappear if you let go. You hug him so tightly.

His eyes soften and his chest fills with warmth.

He doesn’t hesitate to hug you back, wrapping his arms around your smaller frame, he holds you tight and buries his face in your neck.

No matter what happened in the past. No matter what he did to you. No matter how much pain you have gone through, you still don’t want to live in a world where he isn’t in your life.

After all, he will always be the boy who picked flowers for you, who surprised you with your favorite snacks, who comforted you whenever your parents fought, who slept in your bed when you were afraid of storms, who taught you how to slow dance, who wrote you notes when he was younger, who promised you to be your prince when your first crush rejected you.

You hold onto him, pressing your cheek against his chest.

You stay like that for a moment, for a long moment – one that could never be long enough.

He breathes you in and closes his eyes, ignoring the fluttering in his chest.

He knows that this should make him feel better, to know that you love him enough to forgive him, to want him to stay but if anything, it makes him feel worse because he is still losing you.

He knows he has to walk away, for now.

“I love you, Stevie.”

He smiles sadly.

He knows it’s not the same as it was. It’s not the I love you’s from all your notes. He knows it’s not the same love he feels for you, not anymore.

But the love you always had for him. The love you had since you were kids.

And for him that’s more than he could ever ask for.

“I love you too, Dolly.”

You sniffle, he can feel you shaking against him. You’re trying not to cry.

“Please don’t become a stranger again, Steve.”

His breath hitches in his throat, he presses his lips together, willing the tears to stop from falling.

“Me?” He asks, pulling back to look down at you. He musters up a smile. “I might need some time but I will latch onto you as soon as I get over my whiny ass.” He jokes, despite the pain in his heart.

You roll your eyes but laugh at his words.

You take a deep breath and sigh.

This is it.

This is what was supposed to happen.

It hurts but you also feel relieved to finally put an end to something that kept holding you back for so long.

You know you won’t truly lose him.

He will always be your Steve.

And you will always be his Dolly.

But it won’t ever be the same.

You will be his friend and he will be yours and that’s all you’ll ever be.

You won’t be sad forever and neither will he.

He will find love after you.

He will find it like you did.

It’s what he deserves.

It’s what you both deserve.

“We kinda got friendship bracelets now,” he smiles through his tears, pointing to the wristband as he holds his hand up. You reach out to touch it, tracing the words.

‘love you to the moon and to saturn’

“Well, I got one, you have a necklace.”

You smile, placing your hand on the locket, “yeah.”

You turn it around, looking at the half moon that he got customized just for you.

You tear your eyes away from him and look around, furrowing your brows when you realize something.

“You know what, we should stop doing this.”

“What do you mean?” He asks, tilting his head.

“Saying goodbye in my driveway.”

He chuckles, though it’s a sad one.

“This is the last one,” he whispers. “Of this kind, at least. Our future goodbyes won’t be so…”

“Sad?”

“Yeah.” He takes your hand, giving it a squeeze.

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

He takes a step forward, he leans down and kisses your cheek, not paying attention to the feeling in his heart or the way his lips tingle when they touch your skin for the last time. He gives your hand a squeeze before he pulls away again.

“I’ll see you around.”

He can tell that you’re trying not to cry, that you are forcing a smile onto your face.

“Yeah, I’ll see you around, Steve.”

You can tell that he wants to say more. He looks at you. His eyes trace every inch of your face, like he’s trying to memorize you. And then, he nods to himself, blinking and giving you one last smile before he turns away from you.

You watch him leave.

For the last time, you watch him walk away from you.

You stand there and wait until he is gone, until you no longer see his car in the distance.

And just like that, he is gone, again.

And your tears are falling again.

A/N: I know that no one cares about my feelings cause I did this. But I want you to know that I freaking suffered writing this chapter. It felt heartbreaking and sad and wrong. I really wanted Steve to be the one. And my choice has nothing to do with the fact that I'm an Eddie girl, I love Steve, as well. (I know some of you don't believe this but I've loved him since 2016 so shut up, please and thanks). I didn't know how to make him come back from all what he did -- the emotional cheating, the pain he put her through, the heartbreak, the betrayal. It was too much and this ending genuinely has nothing to do with Eddie being in this story.

But also, please remember. This is not the ending of the story. So before you send any hate to me, remember that there will be another chapter and an epilogue. Anything can happen in an epilogue, just saying.

Also, I'll be working on a new Steve series. Strictly Steve x reader, I promise

@mysticmunson @wroteclassicaly @corrodedseraphine @corrodedcorpses @take-everything-you-can @trashmouth-richie @succubusmunson @xxhellfirebunnyxx @somethingvicked @sherrylyn628 @nemesis729 @munson-mjstan

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington angst #steve harrington series #steve harrington fanfic #stranger things angst

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dilemmaontwolegs · 1 year

Text

Shades of Grey || CL16 {1}

Summary: You may be the newest F1 driver for Williams but you have known Charles since your karting years. Being rival drivers never changed the fact he was your friend and would always look out for you, on and off the track. The only problem was you wished you could be more than friends. Warnings: 18+ only, reader injuries, angst. Word Count: 2k

F1 Masterlist || Part One || Part Two || Part Three || Part Four || Spotify Playlist

Adrenaline was always running through your veins the night before a race. It was the same explosive mix of brimming excitement laced with a hint of fear. So when the track was closed and the flood lights went dark you would quietly leave your motorhome and walk the grid.

The silence was peaceful in a way that couldn’t be found at any other time. 3am was like a parallel universe where all the distractions and worries were lost to the stars above. You were in a world of your own.

“You should be sleeping,” Charles said as he looked down where you lay under the starting lights.

You hadn’t even heard his footsteps approaching as you imagined the track, your fingers twitching with the memory of its banks and turns. Though it was cold asphalt beneath you, it was the memory of the moulded seat that you felt against your thin clothes.

As the first and only female driver there was a pressure that the other drivers would never feel. You had to fight for not just your position but for all the future female drivers who aspired to race in Formula One. If you didn’t meet the expectations then it wasn’t just your future at stake and you felt the weight of that every time you sat in the car. It drove you to push harder and test the limits of the car, it drove you to practise more than the other drivers.

You were pulled from your thoughts and looked up the length of his body. You took in everything from the loose grey sweatpants to the plain white t-shirt and then to the eyes that had been witness to your greatest and worst moments.

“Lie down,” you said as you patted the cold ground beside you. “It’ll be like old times.”

“We’ve come a long way since F3.” Despite the words, he laid down beside you and you laced your hand with his. He had always let you take comfort in the touch since he knew how nervous you got, even after years of racing. Those nerves had only increased after your recent debut into Formula One.

“Does it get easier?” you asked quietly, not wanting to disturb the silence of the night.

You looked across at him, the moonlight illuminating his eyes that seemed torn between wanting to calm you and wanting to be honest. “It doesn’t get harder.”

You lost yourself in his eyes and remembered dreaming of a time when you thought the friendship might be more. That dream had slipped away as his career took off and yours remained the same. Your paths had no longer crossed often but you had still tried to keep in touch despite the newfound distance. If friendship was all you could have then you would take it if the alternative was having nothing. But you would always ask yourself ‘what if’.

“You’ll catch a cold lying down here all night,” Charles said, cleaving through the moment and shaking you from your daydream. “Vamos.” You groaned but let him pull you to your feet and he slung his arm over your shoulders. “Can’t have you anything but your best for tomorrow.”

“Maybe it will be the day I finally beat you.”

Charles chuckled. “Would I still have to be your slave for a week?”

You laughed at the reminder of the challenge that had been set years ago and shook your head. “I wouldn’t know what to do with you for a whole week.”

He looked down the corner of his eye at you and his lips twitched up. “I’m sure you’d think of something.”

Your heart skipped a beat at the deepening in his tone and the way he swallowed afterwards like the words were thick with meaning. Were you reading too far into it? Was it just hope leading you to misunderstand the innocent statement?

You would never be brave enough to ask him and risk making a fool of yourself, so you parted ways when you reached your motorhome.

“Goodnight, Charles,” you murmured as you reached the first step and turned, the added height leaving you eye to eye.

He leaned in slowly and you froze as his cologne infused with the air you breathed before his warm lips pressed softly to your cheek. “Goodnight, Y/N. Sweet dreams.”

You hated starting towards the back of the grid but there was only so much you could do with a car that didn’t have a big budget like some of the other teams. Still, Williams had given you an opportunity no other team had so you would make the best of it.

The first light turned red and you began your starting sequence. At lights out the world faded away. There was no one and nothing but four wheels and the track.

Accelerate, brake, turn, repeat.

Your pace was strong but it wasn’t enough and though you overtook a McLaren, an AlphaTauri and a Hass, the leaders were coming from behind to lap you. You kept aside on the straights, letting Max, Lewis and Checo overtake with their DRS that you couldn’t match and then a familiar red Ferrari appeared in your mirrors.

The last straight of the lap was coming to an end but Charles moved to take the outside and you spared a glance as he passed. You swore he looked right back at you despite the concentration he needed to keep on the tight corner he was entering.

It all happened so quickly but on the contrary time seemed to slow down.

You turned your steering wheel into the corner and felt the tension pop as the entire console dislodged from the locking system that held it in place. The corner was rapidly closing and you were stuck on a collision course towards the barrier with a console that wouldn’t click back into place. You slammed your foot on the brake and all four wheels locked, tread burning plumes of smoke as the friction melted the rubber.

Charles turned into the corner and you begged the universe to let him pass before you reached him. A shudder rippled through the chassis as your front wing clipped his back tire and a new fear gripped you as he spun back around to face you. For a moment you were face to face and his gloved hand reached above the halo as if he could save you from what was to come.

You took comfort in that small gesture and crossed your arms over your harness to brace for impact.

Weightlessness washed over you as the car hit the gravel side on and the right hand tires dug in, the shift in the mass lifting the left hand wheels off the ground. Pain exploded through you as the entire weight of the car slammed down into the gravel and flipped too many times to count.

Sky. Gravel. Sky. Gravel. Sky. Grass. Sky.

Your radio crackled in your ear as the world stopped spinning and you stared up at the blue sky over Imola. “Are you okay?”

The taste of copper filled your mouth and when you tried to speak only a pained wheeze came out. You couldn’t understand what was happening as the sky turned grey, the sunlight fading before your eyes.

“Y/N!”

You could hear Charles screaming over the ringing in your ears but you couldn’t answer him, though you desperately tried to. It was getting harder to breathe through the bubbling in your chest and the little air you could pull was laced with smoke and fumes.

You looked up at the grey sky again and felt the sudden heat against your back. Not clouds. Smoke.

You reached for the harness and screamed through the pain of trying to unbuckle them with the ribs that were undoubtedly broken.

“Let me go!” Charles screamed. “Help her!”

The heat was unbearable even with the fireproofs and there was a moment where the world seemed to fall silent, like the very air had frozen still. The bubble burst out in a shockwave. White hot light flashed blindingly bright and in an instant the pain was gone.

The track was empty and the debris had long since been cleared. The only reminder of the horrific crash were the deep gouges in the grass verge and the damaged concrete wall that had stopped you going any further.

You didn’t belong here. You didn’t belong in this black and white world, this place where all the colour had faded away like a photograph left in the sun. Where you had once seen the world in vibrant blues, lively greens and…Ferrari red, it was all now shades of grey.

Was this the end? Was this how your eternity would be spent, anchored to the last place you remembered?

“Happy Birthday.” A quiet voice broke your revelry and a moment of warmth filled you as he unknowingly stepped through the spot you stood. A shiver went down his spine and the petals of the bouquet he held trembled before he placed them on the scorch marks that stained the concrete wall.

Your birthday? How much time had passed while you stood rooted to the track?

“I’m sorry it took so long to visit.” He sank to his knees on the grass, not caring about the mud that stained his jeans as he dropped his head in his hands. “I miss you.”

You wished you could ease his pain but the hand you placed on his shoulder went right through. Arthur’s didn’t though, and you watched as his brother comforted him in a way you no longer could.

“I miss you too,” you whispered to the wind that picked up down the straight.

“She was so nervous before the race. What if she felt something was going to go wrong? What if I missed something?”

“Charles, you can’t beat yourself up wondering ‘what if’. It was an accident, and it doesn’t make it any easier to swallow but they happen,” Arthur said as he sat beside his older brother. “You’ve read the report, the steering console malfunctioned.”

“Arthur’s right,” Pierre said as he arrived with his own bouquet of flowers, placing them beside Charles’. “There was nothing anyone could have done.”

Charles sighed with defeat and seemed to shrink in upon himself as he plucked out the black blades of grass. “I could have told her how I felt. I always thought we would have time, I always thought I would have her.”

Your soul shattered at his admission and if you could cry in this state the track would have become an ocean. All those years wasted when if you had just told him how you felt you would have found out he felt the same.

You would give anything to have that time back.

“You’re talking like she’s dead already,” Pierre snapped and you jerked your head around to him. “There’s still a chance she could wake up.”

Charles scrambled to his feet and the agony in his eyes nearly drove you to your knees. “Shut the fuck up!”

Charles ran his hands through his hair and tugged at the stands until he screamed to the heavens above. Birds erupted from the treelines and took flight at the piercing sound but Pierre just shook his head sadly.

He didn’t want to have hope. He didn’t want to be shattered by it again.

“She’s not Jules, Charles,” Pierre said, flinching when his friend glared at him. “Just go visit her, if anyone can bring her back it’s you.”

Charles turned his back and started to walk away without a goodbye and you took a step without realising it, then another. The invisible anchor that had kept you trapped at the crash site untethered from your feet and you were able to follow Charles.

He paused beneath the starting line and looked up at the lights you had laid beneath. Gone were the stars that you could wish upon, now only dark grey clouds remained.

“If anyone up there is listening, I could really do with a miracle, or a sign, or anything. Just something. Please.” His voice broke and he wiped his eyes on his sleeve before sniffing and departing the grid.

Click here for part two.

#charles leclerc x female reader #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc fanfic #charles leclerc imagine #formula one fanfiction #f1 imagine #f1 rpf #driver!reader

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urfavlarry · 2 months

Text

Alastor x insomniac!reader

A/N: this one is a bit short since i didn’t really have ideas to make this longer but I think it turned out pretty well! and reader is gender neutral<3

warnings: swearing,mentions of abuse, reader having nightmares, bad grammar

genre: slight angst but mostly fluff :3

summary: reader had nightmares and goes for a walk to the hotels library not many residents know of! And you just happen to come across the radio demon himself

3rd person POV

You stir in your sleep, you’ve been trying to fall asleep for 4 hours now and its currently 3am. You groan and turn towards the clock beside you on the bedside table. You close your eyes and you finally drift off into a slumber.

You wake up in a home, your home from when you were alive. You sit up from the floor you were sitting down and look down. You were a human again and you were sitting in the bathroom. You suddenly hear yelling and banging and you quickly open the bathroom door and run down the stairs, running down the hall to the kitchen. Your eyes widen as you see your father and mother yelling and you back up towards the wall. Your father notices you and starts screaming foul things at you and you try to get out of the room but he grabs a fist full of your hair and pushes you into the kitchen. You curl up into a ball and cry to yourself when you suddenly jolt awake, tears streaming down your face. “Fuck..” You choke out and quickly wipe your tears as you sob and bring your knees to your chest. You look at the time and only 17 minutes passed from when you last fell asleep. You sigh and swing your legs from the bed and go grab some socks. You put them on and leave your room and lock it behind you, putting the keys into your pjs pocket.

You walk down the hall to the elavator and go up to the highest floor where the library is. You’ve never really seen anyone go up there other then Charlie when she brings new books that she things you would be interested in. So it was your quiet spot for when you had a lot on your mind and wanted some time for yourself. You feel the elavator stop so you walk down the dark hallway and open the library doors. They were old and had beautiful rose carvings in it with golden touches here and there. You smile softly at the sight as you walk into the library but your smile drops when you see someone had turned on the light. “Someone is here.” You think to yourself and sigh in annoyance but walk on the old red carpet that was on the library’s floor. The library was big, the center was in a circle shape and had two long halls filled with bookshelves and some seating areas. In the center an old chandelier hung from the ceiling that had beautiful renaissance inspired art with more carvings of roses. It also had two floors full of every book you could think of from the living world and hell aswell.

Your vision was a bit blurry since the light only lit up the center so you quickened your pace when you suddenly saw a familiar pair of red ears. Your breath hitches and you stop and freeze in your place. No you didn’t really have a problem with Alastor but you were quite scared of him to say the least. He was a feared Overlord after all. You look away for a second and look back but you notice the pair of ears disappeared. You look around in a slight panic when you feel a presence behind you. You step back slightly and you hit someones chest and turn around im a swift movement and see the familiar sinister smile that everyone was so scared of.

“Good evening dear, what are you doing up at this ungodly hour?” Alastor asks with his usual grin, putting away the book he was reading that was now long forgotten. He straightens his suit, dusting himself off and looks back at you awaiting your answer. “I um couldn’t sleep, so I just wanted to come here to maybe pass some time.” He hums in acknowledgement and studies your figure like you were his next meal, which wouldn’t surprise you if you were. Your eyes were red and puffy from you crying and you looked quite shaken, still having the nightmare fresh in your mind. “Well I suppose I wont push you to tell me more, how about I read to you so we can pass the time together? Come along now darling I won’t take no for an answer.~” He says turning around to go grab the book he was reading and goes to sit down at one of the many seating areas in the library, expecting for you to follow behind. You sit down next to Alastor, making sure to keep your distance since you knew he was a bit.. how do you put this lightly? Bitchy, when someone invaded his personal space.

He eyes you for a second, opening his mouth to say something but decided against it and opens the book, making sure to start from the beginning so you’re not confused about anything. You listen to him closely, imagining the characters and scenes as if you were in the book yourself. You slowly start to tune him out, your eyes and head feeling heavy as you fight back a yawn. Your head starts to dip to the side and your consciousness starts to slip out of your grasp.

Alastors POV

My ears perk up, when I suddenly feel weight on my lap. I lift the book up a bit and see Y/N laying in my lap. “I guess they finally found peace in their dreams after all.” I think to myself and put the book away, playing with their soft hair. I stop myself and rethink my actions; “Why is it that I don’t mind their touch? Why am I feeling this way? I’m a feared Overlord? Am I perhaps going soft?” I think to myself and look down at the sleeping demon once again. Their soft snores echo slightly through the library and I sigh, smiling softly.

“I’ll let it slide, just this once.” I roll my eyes and pick up the book once again and continue where I left off.

3rd person POV

Charlie walks through the halls of the hotel with seversls books in her hand, Vaggie helping her out not wanting her girlfriend to struggle all by herself. They walk to the elavator and go up to the library. Vaggie raises a brow as she has never really been to this part of the hotel and walks down the hall to the old doors. They open it and walk in, noticing the light was on and see the familair deer demon from a distance. Vaggie rolls her eyes, mumbling some incoherent Spanish words Charlie doesn’t even bother trying to understand, knowing it’s probably just profanities towards Alastor.

As the walk closer they find a familiar demon laying their head on Alastors lap and Vaggie takes out her spear, ready to slit the radio demons throat when suddenly Alastor brings his pointer finger to his lisp, shushing the couple; “Shh, they’ve had a tough night, it’s best if we let the poor dear sleep the day away if they wish.” He says in a hushed tone and grins at the couple, maybe slightly glaring at the angered woman pointing a sharp spear towards him. Charlie nods and fights back her squeals and places the books down carefully in their spots, Vaggie helping her out but still glances your way just in case the sadistic Overlord tries anything. Alastor just stares right back, sometimes even making himself look a bit more terrifying with the radio dials and creepy smile, returning back to normal the moment Charlie looks his way. They leave the room shortly after and you start to wake up from the sound of doos shutting.

You groan a bit and go to sit up when you see you’re not in your room like usual and that you slept a bit too peacefully today. You look up and see the radio demon grinning up at you and you flinch back, almost falling off the coach you were sleeping on a few moments ago.

You yelp and quickly stand up to get away from the man, not wanting to face him after sleeping on him the whole night when he suddenly speaks up; “Don’t be afraid to come find me again when you have trouble sleeping my dear, i’d be more then happy to help you fall asleep once more, maybe make this a routine, hm?” Your breath slightly hitches and you just nod, speed walking away and leave the library, not wanting to be in his presence any longer than you already were.

Alastor smiles to himself, hoping you would take his offer up and that you really would make this a routine.

#alastor hazbin hotel #alastor fluff #fluff #alastor #hazbin hotel vaggie #charlie morningstar #hazbin hotel season 1 #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel sir pentious #hazbin hotel niffty #hazbin hotel husk #hazbin angel dust #alastor x reader #x reader #reader insert #gn reader

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sannie4luv · 4 days

Text

Always So Pretty For Me

Pairings: Choi San x f!reader

Warnings: m & f masturbation, phone sex, praise kink, voice kink

Word count: 1.4k

A/N: so I have NOT been able to stop thinking about san being like this and I desperately just want to be his pretty girl and be talked through it by him, I literally wrote this in less than an hour so be nice to me :(, I need him so bad it’s not even funny anymore. Also not proof read so ignore the mistakes :p

With San being on tour, In different cities, Different time zones. You always felt yourself get lonely, not only emotionally, but physically as well. And right now you needed him more than you felt like you ever had in your life. When he would be on breaks from tour or schedules, he always made it a point to satisfy you in all the ways he knew how. Truly he knew your body better than you did. He knew how to make you feel good in the best ways, knew how to touch you so you were ruined for anyone else who tried to, yourself being included.

Here you were sat up in your bed with a sticky feeling between your thighs, one that you knew only San could satisfy. The only problem was, he was thousands of miles away on the other side of the world at this point. It was late at night, around 3am when you decided to go through all your old videos with him. Some of him being sweet and funny, others of him nestled so nicely between your thighs and eating you out like it was his last meal.

One of your favorite attributes about San was he would always talk you through it, knowing you got off on him talking so sweetly to you and praising you like you were the other thing that mattered to him most in the world. “You’re always such a good girl for me Angel, always make the prettiest sounds for me. God I could listen to you moan my name on repeat all fucking day baby, you make me so fucking crazy.” You heard the San in the video say, not doing anything to help the problem between your legs. You gently started touching your hardened nipples through your shirt similar to how he would, but it never felt like he did it. Truly Choi San had ruined you for anyone else.

You touched all over your body softly, eventually leading you to the place where you needed to be touched the most. Still listening to the filthy things that was coming out of Sans mouth on the video, which only spurred you on more. “You gonna cum all over my face angel? Huh? Can you do that for me baby? I know you can because you’re my good girl right? Yeah that’s it baby… that’s it… that’s my pretty girl.” He had said as you came all over his face and fingers in the video. At that point you had decided you couldn’t take it anymore and you needed to call him, just to hear him talk in that deep sultry voice of his.

It doesn’t take San long to pick up, it was the middle of the day for him and thankfully had an off day and was just resting in the hotel, what you didn’t know is he was doing the exact same thing you were. Laid up in bed watching old videos of you too that resulted in a hard Bulge in his pants and nothing but his hand to satisfy it, but he wouldn’t tell you that. “Hey angel, it’s late there no? Shouldn’t you be sleeping?” He said as he gently palmed the bulge in his pants trying to get it to go down.

“I need you Sannie…” you whimpered out and this made san shoot up in his bed and make his cock even harder than it already was. “You need me baby? What do you need princess?” San had said which only caused you to throw your head back with a soft moan, still touching yourself and feeling unsatisfied because it just wasn’t him doing it. “Need you to touch me… it never feels as good when I do it, I want you to come home..” You moaned out and began to rub yourself faster through your panties. This made San bite his lip and palm his dick a little harder. God if he could he would hop on a flight home and take care of you like you needed to be.

“I want to come home too princess, I’ll be home soon you know that. And I’ll take care of you so well when I do baby, are you touching yourself right now angel?” San said as he slipped his hands in his sweatpants and touched himself through his boxers, letting out a light grunt as the layers got thinner and thinner. “Yes… I couldn’t take it anymore, couldn’t stop thinking about you baby, it doesn’t feel as good when I do it…” you moan out as you moved your panties to the side to finally relieve yourself the way you needed.

“You miss me Angel? I miss you too, was laying here watching old videos of us and came across one of you on your knees with my cock in your mouth. God I wish you were here baby. I wouldn’t be able to take my hands off you.” San said as he finally slipped his hands in his boxers and slowly started pumping his cock up and down. “Rub yourself for me baby, you’re always such a good girl for me. You can do that for me right?” San said as his hand picked up the pace a bit and bit down deeply on his lip, surely he would draw blood to it soon but he didn’t care.

“Ugh fuck San.. it feels so good.” You said as you ran soft circles around your clit, pretty much just getting off on his voice alone. “Slip your pretty fingers inside for me baby, let me hear how much you miss me. God I can’t fucking wait to ruin you when I get home I swear this tour is torturing me with blue balls.” San said as he gripped his cock tighter and went faster. “Wish they were your fingers Sannie… you always fill me up so well.” You said as you pumped your fingers inside yourself trying to match the pace of him pumping his own cock that you heard in the background. You definitely weren’t gonna last long at all, you were already so close.

“Mmm I know Angel, don’t worry it’ll be my fingers soon, but for now I just need you to go faster.. fuck princess I’m not gonna last, always sound so pretty for me when you moan like that.” San said as he felt his high approaching, but he wouldn’t let himself cum until you did first. “Fuck San I’m gonna cum…” you whimpered out as you fucked yourself with your fingers faster, not wanting to cum until he told you to.

“Cum for me princess” just as he said that the knot in your stomach had snapped and you threw your head back with a high pitched moan. Not noticing how you just soaked the fuck out of your sheets. “Fuck that’s it baby… that’s my good girl, always listen to me so well.” San said with a grunt and a shudder as he came all over his stomach. God he wished that it was inside you instead. He always loved watching it drip out of you.

“Show me the mess you made princess, I wanna see what I’m coming home to.” San said as he reached over and grabbed a tissue to wipe his hand clean of the evidence of him cumming from phone sex like a horny teenager. Even though you were on the verge of falling asleep you did as he said and you could hear him moan through the phone, almost convinced he was wanting to go round two. “Fuck baby… you’re such a good girl. Can’t wait to come home and take care of you the way you deserve.” San said as he himself snapped a quick pic of the cum sitting on his stomach, shooting a text a long with it that read “wish it was inside you instead.”

This made you bite your lip and throw your head back, damning your tiredness because if you weren’t on the brink of passing out you would absolutely go round 2 with him. “Miss you so much Sannie…” you said as you felt your eyes grow heavy. San knew you were gonna fall asleep any minute now. “I miss you too angel, get some rest and call me when you wake up. I promise I’ll be home soon before you know it pretty girl, I love you more than anything.” You had let out a soft “I love you too…” before your tiredness got the best of you, and just like that all San could hear was your soft snores through the phone, knowing that it was only him that could bring you that much safety and comfort.

God he really needed to get the fuck home.

#ateez smut #san smut #san x reader #hongjoong smut #seonghwa smut #yunho smut #yeosang smut #mingi smut #jongho smut #ateez x reader #ateez fanfic #wooyoung smut

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nicofics · 6 months

Text

𝙩𝙚𝙡𝙡 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙢𝙤𝙤𝙣 𝙞 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪

𝘰𝘭𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴 + 𝘴𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘮𝘰𝘯 𝘹 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

summary: what getting ready for bed is like with your boyfriend

notes: this finished earlier than i expected. is it obvious solomon is my favourite…

𝘭𝘶𝘤𝘪𝘧𝘦𝘳

lucifer would often spend his nights alone in his office before you arrived. once the two of you started dating though, he vowed to himself that if he couldn’t at least spend the day with you, he’d spend the night with you. lucifer normally goes to bed late, after you do. weither you’re asleep or not, lucifer will wrap his arms around your waste, not wanting to let go. during his sleep he can finally let go of his pride

𝘮𝘢𝘮𝘮𝘰𝘯

mammon usually goes to sleep late, like most of the brothers would. however the difference mammon has is that he does NOT sleep normally. mans is spread all over the bed, leaving you either curled up in a ball in the corner, or sleeping under him; which isn’t very comfortable. while sleeping with mammon, he may drool, sweat alot and move around alot, he also sleep talks. so be prepared for him to ramble about how much he loves you while asleep

𝘭𝘦𝘷𝘪

levi almost never sleeps. you practically have to beg him to get away from this computer or to stop reading manga, though when you do; he can get quite touchy, wanting to cuddle and hold you throughout the night. at the start he was extremely nervous to share a bed with you, though he warmed up to the idea when you showed him it was okay. sleeping in a bathtub isn’t very comfortable, especially for a human. so most nights levi will sleep in your room

𝘴𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘮𝘰𝘯

solomon is old. he either goes to bed at 10pm on the dot or 3am. no inbetween. if you successfully convince him to come to bed, he’ll always tell you how much he loves you, while stroking his hair. he spend thousands of years being afraid of it, why not embrace it while he has it? solomon is extremely sweet, he’ll always ask if you’re comfortable, or if his hand is sticking into you. he’ll almost always kiss you goodnight and hold you, he is obsessed with you

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starlitmark · 4 months

Text

Summary: After the ups and downs of being in the public eye throughout your pregnancy, the time finally comes to meet your little one. Pairing: idol!Seonghwa x model!reader Tropes: established relationship au, new parents au, idol au, celebrity au Genre: fluff Rating: PG Warnings: allusions to childbirth, happy crying, breastfeeding, language Word Count: 2,141 Note: part of the Desire universe and for my anniversary! (enjoy the nod to her display name as the title) thank you to @anyamaris for beta reading!!

Before You Interact

Seonghwa had been panicking all day. You had gone into labor around 3am but still didn’t start active labor until hours after arriving at the hospital. After hours of physically and mentally exhausting labor, your son was finally in your arms. Even after your doctor confirmed that both you and your son were healthy, your boyfriend really couldn’t relax. When you feed Yejun for the first time, Seonghwa finally relaxes and lays him down to sleep in the bassinet.

“We’re parents.” He sighs happily, squishing onto the hospital bed beside you.

“Yes, we are.” You chuckle, “You finally relaxed now?”

Your boyfriend nods, “It was a crazy morning.”

“Yeah,” you let out a breathy laugh, “I just spent 8 hours pushing him out of me.”

Seonghwa kisses your hair, “And you did an amazing job. He’s perfect.”

Seonghwa looks over at your sleeping son and smiles brightly. He’s so proud to call himself a father; your son is everything he could ever wish for and more. He then turns to you and cups your face in his hands. You smile softly at him, and he returns the look. Your boyfriend leans in and kisses you softly. The tender moment is disrupted by multiple notifications from your phone. When you glance at it, you notice that it’s only 1pm.

“Should we let the others know he’s here? I’m sure Danbi is pacing through your dorm right now, and Mingi is trying to get her to sit down.” You joke.

“You should rest.” He worries.

You shake your head, “I’m actually quite awake… I think I’m on some sort of adrenaline high.”

Seonghwa shakes his head at you and looks down at his hand intertwined with yours. He frees his hand a moment later and texts your group chat to let everyone know Yejun has finally arrived. It takes all of two minutes to have Eunji FaceTiming you. Despite your clearly disheveled state, you answer.

“Can we come?” She asks, skipping all courtesies.

“Hi Eunji, I’m great! Yejun and I are healthy and safe.”

“Can we come then?!” She questions again.

Seonghwa butts in, “Yeah, visiting hours end at 4pm tonight so if any of you plan to come you’re welcome to.”

“I’m meeting my nephew!” You hear Yunho yell in the background followed by a door slamming.

Of course, the rest of your friends were all holed up together in the Ateez dorm. You hear Yejun quietly whining, alerting you of his waking state. Quickly, you say goodbye to your friends, and Seonghwa tells them the maximum number of visitors at a time. You reach your son and see him slowly blink as he wakes up. You know he can’t see much of anything yet, but he knows it’s you. During your prenatal class, you learned that babies have an incredible ability to sense their parents without even really seeing them well. Carefully, you lift him up and hold him close to your body. You gave birth to him just over two hours ago, and already you can’t get enough of holding him. Returning to your bed, you feed him again, and Seonghwa offers to attempt his first diaper change. You both quickly found out Yejun does not enjoy them.

Once he’s changed, Seonghwa carries him back to you. You both sit there for a while, holding Yejun and Seonghwa, wrapping his arms around you. Honestly, you don’t know how you’ve ever lived any other way before having both your boys. A soft knock sounds on your door, interrupting the domestic moment.

“I’ll go get it.” Seonghwa offers, “It’s probably our friends.”

You nod and look back down at Yejun, who is fast asleep again. Seonghwa is quietly talking with someone at the door, but you can’t be bothered to pay attention due to how enamored you are by your son. You hear footsteps growing louder, then feel Seonghwa’s hand gently curl over your shoulder. Looking up, you look at your boyfriend then see Yunho. You suppose his mad dash out of the dorm made him the first to arrive. It wouldn’t surprise you if he didn’t even wait for anyone else to get in the car before he left.

“Do you want to hold him?” You ask quietly after you notice Yunho’s shocked state.

The tall man nods and takes a few steps closer, “He’s so tiny.” He comments once you pass him the baby.

“He is only two hours old.” You laugh, “Of course he’s tiny.”

In Yunho’s hands, Yejun looks even smaller. His large hands are about half of your son’s entire body length. For a moment, you think your friend may cry. He’s been excited for you to have Yejun from the moment he found out about your pregnancy. You, Yunho, and Seonghwa chat for a while. Yunho holds your son as long as he can until Yejun grows fussy and Seonghwa takes him back. Suddenly, Yunho’s phone starts ringing in his pocket. He sighs when he sees the caller and accepts the FaceTime call.

“Hello, Mingi.” He says in a playfully annoyed tone.

“Mingi’s parking the car. Get your ass out of there. I need to see Yejun right now.” Danbi yells into the phone.

“Okay, okay. He’s fussy so have fun with that.”

You look over and see Seonghwa pacing while gently rocking him and humming quietly; the amount of love poring from his eyes makes your heart soar with butterflies. Yejun won’t calm down, though. You motion for your boyfriend to bring him to you. Instantly, Yejun calms and seems to be searching for your chest in hopes of milk. After that, Yunho dismisses himself to allow you the privacy of feeding.

“What?” You question when you notice Seonghwa watching you.

“Nothing.”

“Nothing? You’re staring at our son while he’s eating.” You tease.

Seonghwa smiles brightly and sits at the foot of the bed.

“It’s beautiful. You’re beautiful. He’s beautiful. I couldn’t imagine life without you both.”

Another knock raps on the door. You quickly pull your hospital gown up and over your son as he continues to feed. Seonghwa pops his head out the door and then allows the guests in. Both your friends step into the room. Their boyfriends are nowhere to be seen yet.

“Where–”

“Currently latched to my chest.” You cut off Danbi, “He’s hungry.”

A few moments later, Yejun is done feeding, and you strategically move him from under the gown to lay him against your shoulder to burp him. Once he does, you hold him for both Eunji and Danbi to see. Danbi looks like she’s in some sort of elated shock. You don’t expect to see Eunji almost instantly break down in tears. She walks closer but doesn’t reach out to hold him due to her state. She had done her own research and didn’t want to risk him getting sick in any way.

“He’s so…” She tapers off.

Eunji steps into your bathroom and cleans her hands (maybe too thoroughly) before returning and asking to hold him. She looks at him as if he’s her world. On more than one occasion, she’s mentioned that she doesn’t want kids of her own. Luckily, Yeosang feels the same way. The two of them are more than happy being an aunt and uncle to whoever ends up having kids in your friend group.

You look for Seonghwa, but notice he stepped out. He knew it was a raw and personal moment for Danbi and Eunji to meet your son. You’re thankful he gave that moment to them despite his papa bear mode already being present two hours into your son’s life. The door opens again, and You see your boyfriend walk in with Mingi and Yeosang in tow. Yeosang immediately wraps his arms around Eunji from behind and rests his chin on her shoulder. He looks at Yejun in her arms and smiles softly. The entire scene melts your heart.

Despite not wanting to hand off your son, she reluctantly passes him to Mingi. Yet again, your son looks pea-sized in his hands. Danbi breaks from her excitement-induced stupor. She reaches over and rubs her finger along Yejun’s soft cheek. He thinks it’s a food source and tries to latch onto it. She lets out a quiet giggle at the action. Mingi has a goofy smile on his face. You know he’s happy, though. His eyes are sparkling looking at the infant in his hands. Since he panicked about finding your pregnancy tests in Danbi’s bathroom, he’s been vocal about his wish for kids in the future. Though, he and Danbi agreed, not for a while still.

“The other four are blowing up the group chat, waiting to get in here.” Seonghwa laughs lightly, “I’m sure they want to meet him before his mother passes out on us.”

“I’m fine.” You protest. Your yawn betrays your sentiment.

Danbi nods, “As much as we’d love to stay, I have a few exams to prepare for, and somebody has meetings tomorrow.” She comments, throwing Mingi a playfully annoyed look.

Yeosang looks at Yejun being passed back to you. His eyes are wide and shiny. Somewhere between concerned and enamored. As much as he loves your son already, him being just over three hours old now makes him scared that he’ll break him somehow.

“Did we get the godparents title?” Eunji asks, eyes locked on Yejun.

“You know damn well you share that with all of us!” Mingi whines.

His volume causes Yejun to burst out in tears. Not used to loud sounds yet. You bounce him lightly and shush him. Yeosang’s concerned yet enamored face intensifies and the four of them quickly excuse themselves. (Much to Eunji’s dismay). After the door is shut again, another yawn escapes your lips.

“If you’re too tired, my love, we can tell Joong, San, Wooyoung, and Jongho to come by tomorrow.” Seonghwa tells you with a bit of worry in his tone.

You shake your head, “It’s okay. It wouldn’t be fair to them if everyone else got to meet him today.”

Seonghwa sighs, “It’s what your limit is, and his is too… if you’re too tired if he’s too tired… they’ll understand.”

“Seonghwa, we’re okay.” You offer a soft smile.

Despite his lingering concern, Seonghwa leaves to retrieve the last four people who need to meet your little one. The moment the door knob clicks open, San is bursting through the door, with Wooyoung not far behind. Both of them look over the moon with joy and excitement. Wooyoung is the first to get to hold him. San whines about it the whole time. The slightly younger male rambles on and on in a quiet voice about how much fun they’ll have when he’s older. Eventually, San steals the baby from him and looks at him with a sweet, dimpled smile.

“He looks a lot like Seonghwa.” He chuckles, “Almost identical to the baby pictures we’ve seen of him.”

“You trying to say he looks nothing like me?” You tease.

San nods, “Exactly that!” He giggles, “Seriously though, you two are going to be amazing parents. I’m happy for you.”

Wooyoung and San hoard Yejun, Hongjoong, and Jongho hang back the whole time and quietly observe. That is, until, San passes the newborn to Hongjoong when he notices just how tired you’re getting and drags a very chatty Wooyoung out of the room. Hongjoong looks like a fish out of water, to say the least. Then, Yejun blinks up at him. His expression completely changes, and he looks as though he could melt at any moment.

“A new first mate?” He teases Seonghwa.

“Don’t push it. Make your own first mate if you really want one.”

Hongjoong laughs quietly, “But you’re so good at the job. I’m sure Yejun would be just as good.”

The two go back and forth for a while. In the meantime, Jongho pulls a chair closer to you.

“You did good.” He states plainly.

“Thank you?”

“I’m serious. I couldn’t have imagined Seonghwa in this position a few years ago. You’re really good for him, and having Yejun showed me even more that you two are special. You know… when he first mentioned wanting to ask you out properly, he came to me for advice. I’m really happy he did. He loves you, and now Yejun, more than anyone on this planet or further. You did good.” He smiles softly at you.

“Jongho,” you pause for a moment, “Thank you.”

He nods, “Of course, I’ll hold him another time, okay?”

“Are you sure?” You question your maternal instincts, kicking in full force.

He nods again, “I can just tell how exhausted you and Seonghwa are. He’s just not letting it on. And I’m sure Yejun is exhausted from meeting people all afternoon, too. Get some rest. You all deserve it.”

Networks: @kwritersworld @k-vanity @cultofdionysusnet

Tag List: @sanjoongie @jaehunnyy @ericssmile @anyamaris @almondmilkeu @shinestarhwaa @northerngalaxy

#seonghwa fanfic #kwritersworldnet #kvanity #cultofdionysusnet #ateez fanfic #ateez x reader #ateez fulff #seonghwa x reader #seonghwa fluff

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masonmtxo · 8 months

Text

Heres some messy dad Mase rambling for your Wednesday evening 🫶🏻 enjoy!

Ps. This hasnt been proofread so please ignore any mistakes

•••

Due back to Carrington about 3am, don’t wait up. Love you xx

You smiled down at the message that had just popped up from your husband, quickly typing back.

Have a safe flight, see you soon 🩷

Putting your phone down, you sighed to yourself, snuggling further into the blanket you’d cocooned yourself in on the sofa. You’d just sat down after chasing your two kids around for nearly an hour, finally getting them settled in their beds after many promises that daddy would be there when they woke up in the morning, the pair of them were always a nightmare to settle at bedtime when Mason was away. Marley, at 4 years old was getting easier as time went on, getting to an age where she understood that even if daddy had to go away sometimes, he would always come home as soon as he possibly could. But Theo still often struggled, coming into your room on nights his daddy was away to ask if he could sleep in your bed, the smell of Mason on his pillow lulling his baby boy back to sleep. You always joked you had a child each, Marley was Mason’s little angel from the minute she was born, Mason fitting into his role as a girl dad like he was made for it. And you were relieved when Theo arrived and turned out to be a complete mummy’s boy, often seeking you out over anyone else when he needed comfort. But it was the times when Mason was away that you realised how much your son relied on his dad’s presence to settle him at nighttime, as if he didn’t feel completely safe unless daddy was home.

After watching a few episodes of Gossip Girl and then the evening news, you glanced down to see the time, groaning when it was still only 10 o’clock. Despite Mason telling you to not wait up, you couldn’t seem to convince yourself to go to bed, excitement tickling in your belly. You had always looked forward to him coming home, even more so now you had two kids, both of which worshipped the ground their dad walked on and were always easier to wrangle when he was home.

Figuring time would pass faster if you went to sleep, you slowing made your way upstairs and into your ensuite, getting ready for bed and slipping into one of Mason’s T-shirts, something you always did when he was away since the early days of your relationship. You turned the lights off and slipped into your side of the bed, the only light coming drop your dimmed lamp. You picked up your book from your bedside table, flicking it open and beginning to read in an attempt to make yourself tired. You were only a few pages in when you heard a creak, the bedroom door slowly opening to reveal Marley and Theo, both looking dishevelled and unbelievably adorable as they clung onto each others hand, both with their teddies they had had since birth tucked under their arms. Marley’s hair was wild, the little top knot you had tied a few hours earlier skewiff whilst Theo’s tired eyes could barely stay open, his big brown orbs sleepily finding you in the dark room.

“Is daddy home yet?” Marley spoke in a drowsy whisper, gentlem tugging her brothers hand and wandering further into the room. You sat up, throwing the duvet off your bare legs, swinging them over the side of the bed as you reached out for your babies, heart literally melting at the sight of them.

The stumbled into your open arms as you crouched beside your bed, both taking a side to snuggle into.

“Not yet, he’s still on a plane,” you mumbled, pressing a kiss to their foreheads, trying not to coo at how precious they were.

Marley pouted into your neck “Theo woke me up because he said daddy would be home when he woke up and we wanted cuddles.” The little lisp as she said her brothers name wasn’t helping the way they were making your heart expand.

“I’m sorry baby,” you whispered, “he will be home as soon as he can.”

“Can we sleep in your bed mumma?” Theo spoke for the first time, voice muffled as he burrowed into you.

You could never say no to them, secretly needing cuddles from your children as much as they needed them from you, “course you can, just for tonight though, back in your own beds tomorrow once daddy is home.”

They both nodded excitedly, Marley just about tall enough to scramble into the bed before reaching to help her little brother up behind her. You smiled to yourself at how sweet she was with him, taking on the big sister role better than you ever could have hoped. The pair of them curled up on Mason’s side sharing is pillow and instantly closing their eyes as the scent of their dad filled their little noses, a content hum sounding from Marley’s mouth as she near enough instantly fell into a slumber. Theo didn’t go so easy, seemingly fighting sleep as he fidgeted beside you as you resumed flicking through the pages of your book.

“You okay little man?” You whispered as he shuffled over to you, nestling against your chest, his elephant teddy pressed between you as he sought out your comfort.

He hummed in response, breathing slowing finally as he joined his sister in sleep. You couldn’t help but admire the sight, the 3 of you snuggled in bed eagerly awaiting Mason’s arrival. Putting your book down you figured you may as well try to join them, falling asleep surprisingly quickly, lulled by the sound of your babies soft breaths.

•••

You were awoken to the sound of your bedroom door closing, eyes finding Masons figure in the barely lit room, your bedside lamp still on beside you having not turned it off before welcoming sleep a few hours previously. Noticing the lack of weight against you, you glanced to your side to see Theo has rolled himself off you in his sleep and was once again snuggled against his sister, head buried in Mason’s pillow.

“Hi love,” your heard your husband murmur, quietly stepping over to you as he noticed you were awake. He pressed his lips to your forehead before carefully tilting you chin and pressing a loving kiss to your lips, “having a sleepover?” He chuckled, head gesturing toward the two extra occupants in your bed, his eyes mirroring yours as he admired his babies cuddled up on his side of the bed.

“They woke up and came in looking for you, Theo’s slept on your side every night this time, hasn’t managed to settle in his bed,” you quietly spoke, pressing another kiss to his pretty lips as he leant over you.

He sighed, heart clenching at the thought of his boy missing him, before standing upright. “Let me run to the bathroom quick and then ill join you.”

He disappeared into your bathroom, quickly brushing his teeth and going for a wee before stripping down to his boxers, kicking his team tracksuit onto the floor causing you to roll your eyes in amusement, only home for 5 minutes and he was already making a mess.

“Budge up baby,” he grinned as he slid under the duvet beside you, deciding against going round the bed to kiss Marley and Theo, not wanting to disturb their slumbers. He pulled your body flush against him so he could spoon you tightly, your bodies fitting together like puzzle pieces. You felt as he nuzzled into your hair, breathing you in and making you giggle at how your husband and kids were so alike, unconsciously comforted by smells.

“What?” He mumbled into your head, pressing absentminded kisses to wherever he could reach from his position.

“Nothing,” your turned to face him, tangling your legs together, “we’ve missed you so much.”

Mason couldn’t help but pull you into him for a proper kiss at your words, lips pressing together repeatedly until you pulled away for a breath.

“I missed you all too, so much,” you laid facing each other, heads resting on your pillow as you took in the sight you had missed for the past few nights.

“I can’t wait to cuddle them in the morning,” he mused, eyes looking past you to fix on his little creations that were still snoozing away, “I miss them so much it literally aches sometimes, even if its just for a night.”

“Trust me, they miss you just as much,” you couldn’t help the soft expression that took over your face, hand reaching to cup his face as your thumb slowly stroked over his cheek.

He smiled at you, eyes breaking away to focus back on yours, “I love you so much,” he whispered.

“I love you too. C’mon, the sooner you sleep the sooner it will be morning and you’ll get to make up for all the missed cuddles.”

Sorry if this is messy and rubbish, I literally bashed it out in an hour! Feedback is very much appreciated 🩷

#mason mount #mason mount fluff

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stellasvault · 7 months

Note

Hello!!!! Can I req hobie x innocent fem reader where hobie is spending the night at her place and and the reader randomly gets up in the middle of the night at like 3am and just literally leaves and goes to the store 😭 and hobie doesn't even know so he has a whole heart attack looking for her and when he eventually finds her he's like all mad and angry since she pulled a "stunt" and maybe he even makes her cry...but eventually makes her feel better....(sorry I just love torturing myself with sad things). Well if you do write this could it be like...hm i don't know how to explain this but things were "normal" then to angst and then to fluff or comfort idrk. I really look forward to reading stuff from you!! Very excited :) have a nice night.

stop this is actually so cute 😭 also i get the whole “torturing myself with sad things” so dw! hope u enjoy <3

❣️ don’t ever do that shit again!

parings: hobie brown x innocent!fem!reader

warnings: angst to comfort, sfw, hobie is a little mean in the middle lmao

—————————————————————————

you heard hobie hum in his sleep, a deep, soothing tone.

hobie couldn’t spend time without you. it was just as simple as that. so, what better way to keep you all to himself than stay the night at your place?

hobie was sprawled out on the queen-sized bed, his lips parted. his chest lifted with every relaxed breath, a steady rhythm.

you were simply observing him before you left to pick up some things from the 24/7 store. i mean, who doesn’t get midnight cravings? you were just going out for a few minutes, nothing to worry about.

you got out of your temporarily shared bed to put on a sweatshirt over your tank top, you knew to expect the rush of cold air when you went outside. leaving your bedroom, you reached for your apartment keys, knowing the store was just around the corner.

you laughed to yourself when you remembered what happened last time you went to the corner store. hobie had stole borrowed some blueberry jam, thinking it was your favorite spread, but returned it the second you found out your favorite spread was nutella. you bit your lip to keep from waking up your boyfriend, remembering the shock and regret on his face when you had said the news.

the door clicked as you locked it as down the stairs you went, on your way to the store to get some late-night snacks.

you had no idea the panic that would set in soon after.

—————————————————————————

hobie tossed and turned on his stomach in his half-awaken form, expecting a body to stop him from rolling off the bed.

his body instead fully rolled over, as he found himself now on his back, dumbfounded.

he immediately shot up, his ears ringing. what happened? did someone kidnap you and he was to busy sleeping to notice?

all the worst possibilities and situations ran through his head, each one getting even worse and more gruesome. he finally threw the bed covers of his body, only wearing a dark blue crop top and his boxers. he jumped off his side of the bed, frantic.

he briefly put on a random pair of sweatpants he found on the floor, not sure if it was yours or his. but at moment it didn’t matter, all that mattered in his mind was you.

“bloody fuckin’ hell..” he muttered to himself in fear, thinking about where on earth you could’ve disappeared to. he finally decided on running around town, every single corner of it. he didn’t even think of calling you on your cell. after all, you probably didn’t even have access to it since you randomly disappeared during the dead of night, right?

he was 100% false.

while hobie was running around the neighborhood looking like a lunatic, you were humming a tune to yourself as you browsed through different chips on the store shelf. so maybe you had spend a while looking at snacks, so what? there were a lot of options!

a sudden ding! sound rang in your ears, signaling another customer had entered the shop. this didn’t concern you in the slightest, as you resumed humming, oblivious to the fact that hobie was next to the snacks and chips aisle, making his way towards you.

“oh fuck, there you are!” his voice louder with each word, walking quickly towards you.

“hobie, what are you-“ you were cut off with an angry outburst.

“what were you even thinking? he whispered through his teeth, his hand gripping your forearm.

“oh, i was just hungry!” you explained happily, showing off your snacks.

he sighed as his grip on your forearm tightened, pulling you toward the front of the store to pay.

“go on.” hobie nodded almost silently. you paid for the food quietly, saying a ‘thank you’ to the employee before hobie pulled you away outside and letting you having.

“i can’t believe you?! are you fucking serious? do you know how dangerous it is at night? i was worried SICK.” he shouted angrily, moving his hands around frantically. “you really don’t realize how careless you can be, do you?”

you went silent, shocked at his sudden outburst. “i’m sorry..” was all you could let out. you could feel the tears stinging your eyes. a lump formed in your throat as you tried to hold back the sob that was beckoning forward. you knew if you didn’t walk away soon you would burst into tears, deciding to briskly walk past hobie in the direction towards your apartment.

hobie stiffened as you walked away. “hey! where d’ya think you’re going?” he shouted to you, but you stayed silent. if you even let one sound out, you were going to let all hell break loose.

hobie sighed before he swiftly walked back to you. “look, love. i was just upset, i swear i didn’t mean none of tha’” he explained with an almost silent voice.

you shook your head. “i get it. i shouldn’t have went out without telling you.” you looked over at him to see his face illuminated by the moonlight. you noticed you had arrived at the apartment.

“no.” hobie simply said, putting both hands on either one of your shoulders. you turned your head up to look at him, his expression filled with sincerity. “you know i didn’t mean a single word i said, right?” he asked, his voice in a higher pitch than usual. he couldn’t lose you. he wouldn’t lose you.

you stayed silent, unable to answer. you simply had nothing good to say. you had thought he meant every word, but his apology had made you doubt your thoughts.

“you’re amazing, love. don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise, yeah?” he tilted your chin up to look at him, his voice dripping with guilt. “load of shit, what i said. you’re perfect.” he smiled at the last word before planting a long kiss on your forehead, his lip ring cooling your skin.

you chuckled lightly before giving him a small smile, looking up at him.

“i think you’re pretty perfect too, hobie,” you giggled, “now let’s head to bed, i’m finished.”

—————————————————————————

this isn’t my best work i’m so sorry 😭 but i had a lot of fun writing the angst, i’ve never really wrote it at all :)

thanks for reading!! ⭐️

•🍡🍡🍡

#across the spiderverse #atsv x reader #hobie brown #hobie brown x reader #hobie brown x you #hobie brown angst

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stvrni0lo · 10 months

Text

𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬

chris sturniolo x reader (fluff)

summary: a late night drive turns into a deep confession

warnings/notes: none! lmk if i missed anything

requested: yes! tysm @emmsluvschris

a/n: sorry this turned out slightly long. i just couldn’t stop writing😭

> > >

Chris had been having trouble sleeping recently. He always had a bad sleep schedule, but lately his mind seemed to be preoccupied whenever he tried to close his eyes. You could tell something was bothering him - but you knew better than to push him. When he was ready he’d come to you on his own terms.

Sleepovers were like a tradition between you and the triplets - sometimes Madi would be there, or Nate. Yet one thing that was always constant was you. There was rarely ever a sleepover where you weren’t invited.

You had grown close with everyone - particularly the long haired boy. The two of you just always seemed to click so effortlessly.

Your relationship with Chris had evolved and gotten stronger over time. There was almost never a moment where you weren’t together - or at least in contact with one another.

He always found a way to send you a text, or face-time you when you weren’t around. The kid would probably find a way to send you a carrier pigeon if he could.

Today was another one of your weekly sleepovers. Madi and Nick were asleep in his room, and Matt had passed out on the couch next to you and Chris, the movie that he begged to watch abandoned on the TV.

You looked to the clock on the wall - the hands telling you that it was approaching 3AM.

“We should go to sleep soon,” you sighed.

You and Chris always shared his room, and when he wasn’t sleeping on the floor or in some other random area, he slept in the bed with you.

It wasn’t a foreign concept to you two. You two were close friends - you had known each-other for ages, so there was never any need for awkwardness.

However, recently Chris had been avoiding sharing the bed with you.

“Yeah. I’ll sleep in Matt’s bed tonight if you wanna take my room.”

You wanted to roll your eyes. Not knowing why he was acting so nervous around you all of a sudden, you couldn’t help but feel like he was pushing you away.

There was never anything Chris couldn’t tell you. He was usually like an open book with you - there was a mutual understanding that you would never judge each other. Instead of agreeing, you decided to push the boundaries a little bit.

“It’s not like you’re gonna sleep any time soon. I know you stay up ‘til like 5 in the morning,” you said, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible.

Chris averted his eyes to try and look anywhere but at you. He hated that you could read him so well. How was he ever supposed to suppress his feelings for you if you could sniff out his change in attitude from a mile away.

“I- that’s not even true,” he stuttered.

All you could do was sigh. Standing up from the couch, you grabbed a hoodie that Chris had previously strewn across the back of an armchair. You put it on and grabbed your car keys from the coffee table.

“Where are you going?”

“We,” you emphasized, holding Chris’ hands in yours to pull him up from his seated position, “are going for a drive.”

He gave you a surprised look, noticing the time.

“Right now?”

“Right now.”

And with that you dragged the boy to the front door so that you could put your shoes on. Letting go of his hand at last, you opened the door and hopped into your car.

You turned on the ignition as Chris locked the front door and joined you inside the vehicle.

As you started driving you decided to open the windows, letting the wind comb through you hair as you zoomed across the dark streets. Making it to the highway, you sped up, basking in the silence and peacefulness.

Chris closed his eyes beside you and leaned his hand out the car window. He let his hands get pushed around by the wind, moving it in up and down motions.

“I’ve always loved driving at night. Especially with Matt and Nick when we film car videos.”

You smiled. Hearing the appreciation he had for his brothers always made you happy. You felt more than lucky to be part of their tight-knit group. It was like a second family to you.

Chris had trouble expressing his thoughts at times, and it was in this moment that he wished it were the opposite. He had so much he wanted to say - but he just couldn’t get the words out correctly.

“So…” you started, “talk to me.”

Reaching a quiet area outside of town, you parked your car in an empty parking lot. The streetlights reflected against your rearview mirror and you adjusted it to face away from you.

“About what?”

He was deflecting, and you could feel the tension radiating off of him.

“C’mon don’t do that.” You said as you took your seatbelt off to sit facing him. “Something’s up. I can tell.”

Chris shrugged, adjusting the hat on his head. You noticed he did that when he didn’t know what to do with his hands. The anticipation was killing you - you just wanted to know what was wrong.

“I care about you. If something is bothering you I wanna know.”

He looked out the window, sighing. Never had you seen Chris so troubled before.

“That’s the problem,” he said. “You care about me - it’s just not the same way that I do.”

Your heart dropped. Is that what he was worried about? Did he think your friendship was one-sided? Had he perhaps felt ignored by you?

“That’s not true,” you defended, “you know I love you.”

Your eyes widened. “I love all of you guys,” you added, trying to save yourself.

Meeting your eyes, he bit the inside of his cheek.

“Yeah but…”

“But…?” you urged.

Chris now turned his body to face you too. His eyes that were previously avoiding eye-contact were now fully trained onto your face - unmoving.

“I love you too - but in a different way than you do.” His eyes tried to gauge your reaction.

Your confusion grew with each sentence he spoke.

“I don’t follow-“

He was too far in now. There was no way out of his anymore. Swallowing his pride, his voice interrupted you before you could finish speaking.

“It’s like - we’ve been friends for, like, ever. Right?”

You nodded, encouraging him to continue.

“And we’ve never seen each other as anything but friends. But recently I feel like the lines have been blurring and- I think I really, really like you,” he stuttered. “I can’t sleep, every thought I have is filled with you and your voice and- I just keep wishing that you felt the same.”

He stopped suddenly. If he didn’t stop now he knew he would never stop rambling. He could speak about you forever if you let him.

Voice barely above a whisper, he added: “I can’t lose our friendship - but I don’t know how much longer I can pretend.”

Your voice failed you. Every possible word you could think to say slipped your mind. You were speechless.

Not wanting to leave him hanging, you spoke up, voice slightly shaking. “Chris…” you said.

“It’s okay if you don’t feel the same. I get it. I just wanted you to know bec-“

Deciding that actions would speak louder than words, you grabbed a fistful of his shirt and pulled him into you, melting against him in a kiss. You could smell his vanilla deodorant filling your nostrils, feel his hair tickling your forehead and cheeks - it all felt so right. Like this was exactly where you were meant to be all along.

You pulled back. Chris’ hat was slightly askew on his head, and his shirt was crinkled from where you held it.

“Sorry. I just thought that would get my point across better,” you said, your neck suddenly feeling hot.

He seemed almost in a daze, but his dissociative episode ended at the sound of your voice.

“I’m not complaining.”

You shoved his shoulder lightly before you looking away to hide your flustered state.

“For the record - I like you too.”

Grabbing your hand, he squeezed it as he held it above the console. A goofy smile was plastered on his face the whole drive back home.

It was safe to say that Chris was more than happy to reclaim his sleeping spot next to you later that night. And for many nights to come.

#chris sturniolo #chris sturniolo imagine #chris sturniolo x reader #christopher sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo triplets x reader #the sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo x reader #matthew sturniolo #matt sturniolo imagine #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo x reader #nick sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo

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februarybluues · 11 months

Text

enemies with benefits || 4 - girl (you really got me goin')

warnings: kissing, basically just making out, NO SMUT, just like very suggesstive, cursing, flirting, you and hobie 'hating' each other (wink wink), horrible british (im trying guys🙏)

read previous part here -- series masterlist

Normally, the sound of the rain splashing onto your window was one that effortlessly lulled you to sleep. But, for some reason you couldn’t. Your head rested on your pillow, eyes shut tightly, but you couldn’t sleep. The alarm clock next to your bed shouted ‘2:32 a.m’. You groaned, rolling over onto your side; hoping the new position would help you sleep. But alas, it didn’t. If anything, it made it worse. You weren’t sure why you couldn’t sleep. You had a fairly busy day, and you were tired. – but you just couldn’t. Feeling defeated, you rolled onto the other side, now facing the window. And you looked back just in time to see a familiar face climbing in through it. In comparison to the last time he had entered your room, he looked different. Exceptionally wrecked. While, yes, he wasn’t injured like before, or at least you couldn’t see any physical injuries, his face was different; anguished. He looked exhausted. And yet his eyes looked hungry as they darted over to your own. “Hobie? It’s late, what are you doing here?” you sat up from your bed and stood up. But he didn’t say anything, he just muttered something before walking towards you, only stopping when he was a fair distance apart from you, looking as if he was debating getting closer to you.

“Are you alright? Are you hurt?” you asked, genuinely concerned as to why he’d decided to show up at this hour - uninvited. He stayed quiet. His eyes shifted down to the ground and his hands stayed in his pockets. Although it was subtle, he was slowly inching closer to you. You spoke again, almost desperate to hear him say at least something. “Hobie, answer me. I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.” “Tha’s the problem.” he finally spoke out, now standing directly in front of you; barely leaving space between the both of you. “What?” you asked, growing more confused and concerned by the minute. He practically towered over you, having to look down at you slightly in order for your eyes to meet. You’d be lying if you said it wasn’t a little attractive. “Y’too polite. Care too much ‘bout me.” his voice was low, and raspy; as if he were tired. “What are you talking about?” you asked, but he pretty much ignored it. “It all makes sense now.” “Are you drunk?” you asked, trying to figure out what was happening. “Nope. ‘M sober as can be” “So, Why are you here? It’s almost 3am, Hobie.” “If i wanted th’time, woulda’ asked you for it, sweet’eart.” a smile slowly started to grow on him as he looked at your confused state, admittedly checking you out. It stayed quiet like that for what felt like forever; just staring into each other's eyes, waiting for the next move. “Why are you so fuckin’ irresistable?” he suddenly spoke out, which caught you off guard. Before you could question him furthermore, he continued. “I see what your doin’,” he began, lifting his hand up to cup your cheek – which almost instantly turned bright red. “Walkin’ around, lookin’ all pretty, thinkin’ i ‘aven’t caught on to how ya look at me with those pretty eyes. D’you know the effect ya have on me?” your eyes widened. “What are you saying?” you struggled to hide how flustered you were becoming.

“You ruin me.” he said, smiling like a fool. “Is that so?” you asked. “Sure is, doll.” you weren’t sure if it was the insomnia talking or not, but you were suddenly feeling bold. “And what are you gonna do about it?” he chuckled, amused at the sudden change. His hand moved from your cheek to your chin, tilting it up to make you look at him. “What do you want me t’do ‘bout it?” Instead of seeing the cocky smirk you were so used to seeing, his eyes looked determined - eager. maybe it was the lack of sleep that prevented you from being able to think straight, or maybe he was just being a fucking idiot. Regardless, he leaned down even more towards you, and never once broke eye contact. Before you could question what was happening, Your face was moving on its own, getting closer to his. You felt time stop then and there as you realised what was happening.

Were you really going to kiss your mortal enemy?

Yes. yes you were. you grabbed onto the collar of his shirt, silently cursing his height and pulled him down to you so that you could crash your lips together. Hobie almost instinctively wrapped his arm around your waist, squeezing you. You raised your arms up to his head and rested them around his neck. You completely relished this moment. He kissed you with passion, and perfection. It was unbelievable. You practically melted away at his touch. Right now was more important to you than anything. You were too enchanted by him to even care about the fact that he was your sworn enemy. Your head was fuzzy, unable to think straight.

You turned him around and pushed him down so that he was sitting on the bed, and he wasted no time pulling you onto his lap.Your lips stayed together all throughout it. His arms slithered down your hips, his eyes sealed shut. You could barely believe this was happening. He tilted his head slightly as he deepened the kiss. The entire moment was pure bliss. He squeezed whatever exposed skin he could find, his hands reaching under your shirt. Your heart was racing. This was so wrong, but it just felt so right. It was his own fault for being such a good kisser anyways. and the way he so absent-mindedly slipped his tongue in, swirling around yours perfectly. It was the closest you’d ever been to heaven. You hated him so much. Every time your gaze was met with his instantly ruined your day. And yet, for some fucking reason you just wouldn’t stop. You couldn’t. The both of you were desperate for some kind of contact. you tried to get as close to him as you could, practically crushing your chest against his.

After a while you pulled apart to catch your breath, panting. You looked at him with a lovesick look in your eyes, pupils practically heart-shaped and lustful. At that moment, it was like the whole world fell silent. Until hobie quickly broke it up, laughing. You tilted your head at him, confused. “What’s so funny?” you asked, and he grinned. “It’s just - You talk all this big talk ‘bout ‘ow much y’hate me, yet here you are.” he talked, his hands remained on your hips, not daring to move. You shook your head at him. “That’s not fair! I do hate you!” you defended, but he wasn’t having it. “If you ‘ate me so much then why’re you in my lap right now?” He had a point. And you hated him for it. “Well- You know-” Your flustered brain could not come up with an excuse for the life of you, which frustrated you slightly. “Exactly.” he said and you groaned.

“Just shut up and kiss me.” you said and he quickly obliged. How could he say no to that? He pressed his lips against yours once more; reconnecting them. It almost felt wrong to be doing this; kissing the ‘enemy’. You shouldn’t be doing this. You shouldn’t be feeling this way towards him. But as the kiss deepened, you stopped caring. If it was so bad, why was it so perfect? Why did your lips fit together so perfectly if you were supposed to hate him? He raised one of his hands up to cup your cheek, the other still holding onto your hip tightly. He didn’t go home that night. Instead, he stayed with you. Your head rested on his chest as you experienced debatably the best night’s sleep you’ve ever had. Although his intrusion was unprecedented, it did technically cure your insomnia. You had him to thank for that. Alright fine, maybe Hobie Brown wasn’t that bad after all.

maybe one day i'll write a smutty version of this taglist: @hobies-wrld @elloelloello293874 @lavnderluv @ginseng-green-tea @ididntwantthisbutithappened @thatweirdgirlsposts @clown420cunt @sh-tposter2021 @wannabe-fic-reader @large-unit @pastelaine @babydollfoster @theleftkittycollection @sparklyphantom @arminsgfloll @myoifilm @fanboyluvr @fuckyouimthecrowman @ilovemymomscooking @fl1ghtl3ssdrag0n @c3f21 @1eonk @themetalbabygirl @captainloki1

some of yall cant be tagged as you can probs see so idk

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doggone-devil · 2 months

Text

How (Not) To Summon a Demon: Chapter 2

I may have stayed up a little late into the night writing this. And by late, I mean it's morning now. Worth it. Anyways, chapter 2 to my first fanfic! Hope ye enjoy! Alastor x fem!Reader, she/her pronouns

Also for those of you who would rather read on Ao3, I now have the first and this chapter posted there! I'll be updating on both as I write.

Feedback always welcome! Thank you! <3

Come six in the morning, you’re laying wide awake in your bed, staring at your ceiling in anger. You had barely managed an hour of sleep, spending most of the night tossing and turning, waking up in a cold sweat from shadows wrapping around you in your dreams. It was the same, over and over and over. You’d drift off and be plunged into darkness. You’d scream and flail around, trying to find something solid to stand on, but the shadows would devour you, pulling you down to something you couldn’t see.

Somewhere between the eighth nightmare and 3AM, you gave up on trying to sleep.

Rolling over onto your side, you glared at the clock perched on your nightstand. The red neon numbers seemed to mock you, laugh at your misery. Your glare hardened and you harshly turned over to your other side. Now your gaze met a wall. The neutral grey staring back at you was soothing, but not enough to help your eyes close. You look over to your window, noting the faint, blue light starting to creep in as a sign the sun was soon to follow. The transparent white curtains drifting ever so slightly, moving with a wind you couldn’t feel. That’s odd.

You shift upright, lifting your arm up into the air. There’s no breeze, no draft that blows on your skin but the curtains continue to gently sway. Maybe the window was cracked? You groan, hoping not so you go to check, pushing the cover off you. Your fingers press on the frame, pushing down but it doesn’t move. It’s clearly shut, no breeze. You watch the curtains but they’ve now stilled, no longer moving.

“I’m too tired for this shit,” you mumbled, shuffling back to your bed. You just want at least another hour or two for a chance at sleep, to succumb to the exhaustion you felt. Yet fear kept you from nodding off, too scared to return to that plaguing nightmare.

You blame that stupid book. If you hadn’t entertained the idea and did the stupid ritual, you wouldn’t have spooked yourself. Deep down, you still can’t explain really what had happened after. The candles, the lights, the voice. It all felt so real, but then Veronica came home and it was like nothing had happened. You shudder, feeling your skin crawl. Thinking about the paranormal with sleep deprivation was probably not the best idea right now. You needed to distract yourself.

Reaching for your phone on your nightstand, you let your thumb swipe mindlessly over apps until something catches your eye. Your happily lost in the content until something moving in your peripheral pulls your attention away. You try not to look at first, but it’s there, just out of sight. It’s tall, dark, and you swear it’s moving closer to you.

You snap your head up and it’s gone. No moving shadow, just an empty corner of your room.

“Calm down, calm down, calm down,” you whisper to yourself like a mantra. It’s just because your tired, there’s nothing there.

Taking a steady breath, you return to your phone and, there! It’s back again. It’s closer, too. You swear it’ll touch you in the next few steps. You feel yourself starting to sweat, your heart beating fast. Anxiety grabs hold of you, making it hard to breathe. Again, you look, your head spinning from the whiplash of how fast you turned.

You fall back off your bed with a loud thud when you come face to face with red eyes in the darkness.

Somewhere in the distance, you can hear your name being called, no doubt from Veronica. You had hit the floor hard enough, you’re positive you woke the neighbors as well, but all of that was lost to you as you try to sit back up. The eyes are gone, as is the shadow.

Veronica steps into your room, staying by the door. “Are you alright?” she asks, voice laced with sleep. You slowly nod your head.

“Y-Yeah, just… got startled awake. Sorry,” you apologize. She seems ok with your response and leaves, shutting your door.

You groan, rubbing your face with your hands. “I need to get it together,” you speak into your palms. “Gonna start thinking I’m going crazy.”

“No need to think it since you are.”

“What does that mean?” you ask the voice.

Wait.

Your body freezes, your hands staying on your face. Your breath is caught in your throat.

That was a voice. A random voice. In your room. It talked to you and you replied. What the fuck is going on?

“W-Who’s there?” you ask quietly, too afraid to remove your hands in fear of what you’ll find. You’re starting to think it’s not some intruder, but something far more sinister. Something…otherworldly. You shouldn’t believe in it but, what else could it be?

“Really,” you hear the voice scoff. “You had the gall to summon me then ask who I am? The nerve of mortals.” The voice is filled with static, like something you’d hear from an old radio station. It’s also dark, deep, sending chills of fear up your spine. Your hold body was alert, your head screaming at you to get out, to run. Flee while you still can.

But…curiosity had it’s iron grip on you.

“A-Are you a d-demon?” You mentally curse yourself for stuttering so much.

Anther scoff, this one sounding a bit more amused. “If that’s what you want to call me.” You hear something shuffle around, your bed creaking under a foreign weight. Whoever or whatever it is, is now sitting on your bed. “Now answer me, my dear. How come you sit over there with your eyes covered?”

You feel like laughing, like crying, like screaming and running. You felt like you were going insane. Logically, this is an intruder, the same one from the night before. Whoever it was had hid in your room, in your closet, and waited for the opportunity for your to let your guard down. It wasn’t a demon, and yet, that made this scenario somewhat scarier. An intruder meant a human, someone unpredictable. You felt tears build behind your eyes.

“Please don’t hurt me,” you found yourself whispering, a little plea to whoever was there.

“Hurt you? Now why would I do that, hm?” the voice asks. “That would be bad business, wouldn’t you agree?”

Business? What was he talking about? “Business, what business?”

“Why, the business we have, my dear! You summon me, I grant your wish, and in return, I get your soul. Honestly, did you not read the book properly?” The question fell on deaf ears as you tried to process the other part of his sentence. Summon, wish, soul. Holy shit, this was a demon.

You needed to look now, to confirm what was there. You gulp, hands shaking. You repeat to yourself not to scream as you slowly pull your hands down, peeking your eyes open. There, on your bed, leaning over to look at you was a tall, very real, demon.

You really tried not to scream, honestly, you did.

As soon as the first sound of the scream passed your lips, a large, gloved hand grabbed your mouth. The scream stopped in your throat, your breath coming out in hard exhales through your nose. You look up, horrified, at the face looming over you. Sharp teeth glinted in the dim light, red eyes glaring at you like a warning. Don’t scream.

Once again, you hear your name from outside your bedroom door. It’s Veronica. “Girlie, you alright?” This time, she sounds more awake, like she’s been up for a while now. You glance at the door, then back at the demon. He’s watching you like he’s waiting to see what you do next. He seems satisfied with your choice cause his hand is gone and you take a big, much needed inhale.

“Y-Yeah, I’m good. I, uh, stubbed my toe!” you say loud enough so she can hear. You hope she won’t come in, not wanting the demon to even go near her. He was here from your doing and you’d be damn to drag her into this.

“Ok, well, I’m heading off to Josie’s. I’ll be back later!” she informs and you hear the front door shut.

Oh no.

“Well, now that we’re alone,” the demon says, leaning back onto your bed, crossing his legs. “Shall we get started?”

You blink.

The demon stares at you, looking annoyed as you sit in your knees.

You blink again and he’s still there.

You start to giggle, then laugh as you hold your stomach. You laugh and laugh until the world starts to feel dizzy. Just as you slip off the world, you feel strong arms wrap around you. Somewhere in the haze, before darkness consumes you, you can hear the demon speaking softly.

“Just what have you gotten me in to?”

—

Irritated with you, Alastor placed you on your bed. He knew you were tired from watching your restless body all night, but this was ridiculous. Rude, even. Here he was, called forth by your amateur ritual, and you had the audacity to not only insult him, but laugh in his face before fainting! Just what kind of mortal were you?

Alastor paced your room, his shoes clicking against the hardwood floors. His smile was strained, gums peeking through. He couldn’t figure out how this had happened. Sure, he heard the tales during his earlier days in hell, mentions of demons being summoned above to do the bidding of the living. He even waited for his turn, knowing a bit about voodoo and magic from his days spent alive. Yet nothing ever came and, slowly, talks of summonings died down as humans slowly forgot. He assumed his sigil was just never discovered and went about his years in Hell in peace. He rose to great power, becoming an Overlord, and even recently took up a project with the daughter of the devil himself.

He had actually been at the hotel, talking to Charlie about a new development for the building, an addition to the south wing. He was just about to ask her a question when bright, green light flooded the room. It surrounded him, swirling angrily before pulling his body upward. Charlie had looked terrified, trying to grab his hand, but it went right through. His body seemed to lose it’s tangibility as he floated towards the ceiling. Then, in a flash, he found himself standing in a darkened room.

In front of him sat a young girl, holding her knees to her chest. When he saw the candles and the book laid out on the table, his sigil clear as day with blood staining it, he knew what had happened.

“This isn’t funny,” the girl had whispered and Alastor wanted to laugh. Almost. If he wasn’t seething with anger.

“Oh, darling, I can ensure you I’m not laughing,” he had spoke to her and she had screamed. The fear rolling off her as he watched her fumble around was amusing. She even threatened him and Alastor wanted to prolong it just a bit, tempted to scare her further, but then someone came in and he retreated to the shadows.

From there, he had watched the two girls interact, the new face obviously concerned for the one who summoned him. They disappeared into a room and Alastor followed them. After that, Alastor just watched from the shadows, trying to see what the girl would do next. She had a sleepless night, it seemed. He knew his presence was giving her nightmares, but he couldn’t leave.

Alastor’s frown deepens. He can’t leave. Not until you wake up and make a deal with him. That’s the whole point of the contract you started. In return for your very soul, Alastor would grant you whatever your heart desired. Fame, fortune, it didn’t matter. Alastor had enough power to grant it all.

Looking back towards the bed, Alastor studied your face. You seem peaceful this time, no issues staying asleep like earlier. Your features are soft and Alastor moves closer. It’s been decades since he’s been up here, in the world of the living. Decades since he’s touched human flesh. Warm, soft, delicate flesh. His mouth filled with saliva, threatening to drool over. His stomach hungered, growling low. His jaw tightens and he moves away from you.

You were a foolish mortal, playing a dangerous game, and Alastor couldn’t wait to ruin you.

Masterlist , Ao3

taglist: @girl-nahh-two,@adeadreader, @@i-like-potatoes12533, @mcntsee, @projectdreamwalker, @sassmasterxx, @alsemain, @yunimimii

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin alastor #alastor #the radio demon #alastor hazbin #alastor x reader #alastor x you #hazbin hotel fanfic #fanfic #hazbin fanfic #alastor fanfic #alastor fanfiction

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torubeth · 1 year

Text

hot heartline

devices do have the tendency to make you lose track of time, and that’s exactly why you were shocked when the clock on the wall read 2:21 am.

it was a friday night, or well, wee hours of a saturday morning to be precise and you were tired, exhausted even. but for the love of god, you couldn’t go to sleep.

it just wasn’t your night today. you tried everything; changing positions to get into a comfortable one, pulling up the covers for when it’s gets too cold or completely shrugging it off when it gets too hot too quick.

you didn’t know what your brain wanted anymore, but you knew what your heart did.

suna rintarou.

would he even be awake ? considering the fact that the bed was his best friend and sleep came so naturally to him.

knowing him he’s probably dead asleep and you definitely didn’t wanna ring him up just for cuddles.

so you just stayed put and stared hard at the clock, in hopes of it putting you to sleep.

it now read 3:27 am. you were more awake than ever and really angry. groaning, you threw the blanket off of you and grabbed your phone off the desk and opened the messages. as soon as you did, his chat box showed a clear ‘online’ status.

you : ‘rin why the fuck are you awake ????’

r : ‘to check whether you were awake or not :p’

you : ‘that makes no sense, what’re you getting at ?’

r : ‘open the door dummy, i’m outside’

you didn’t need further context. you ran out the room and to your main door. swinging it open to the point where it banged hard against the wall, you were now face to face with your boyfriend.

“that’s a lot of teeth welcoming someone into your house at 3am” he grinned, pointing at your big smile.

immediately you lunged at him and buried your face into his neck.

“yeah yeah i don’t care, go ahead and make fun of me. i’m just happy you’re here” you snuggled further.

a hum was all you got in response.

that’s when it hit you “how did you know i was in dire need of my boyfriend ?” you questioned and pulled away to examine his face, which now displayed a full on shit eating smirk.

“i just do because this and this are needy at the same time” he pointed to yours and his heart.

you playfully smacked his chest “ugh you’re too cheesy so early in the morning” you smiled, knowing all too well that he was right.

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x reader #suna x reader fluff #suna fluff #suna rintarou #hq suna #suna rintarō #suna rintarou x reader #suna rintarou fluff #suna rintaro fic #suna rintaro scenarios #suna x reader #haikyuu drabbles #haikyuu x reader fluff

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finnsbubblegum · 1 year

Text

Second Chance (Joel Miller x Reader)

Pairing: post-outbreak!joel miller x f!reader

Warnings: I choose not to use warnings to avoid spoilers.

Summary (Series): You were popular in Jackson but you have been single your whole life. Despite many men flirting with you, you have never found your ideal type. Until one day, you saw Joel and you fell in love at first sight. But he felt insecure.

Summary: Pov: Joel being the best husband in the world.

Words count: 2.5k

A/N: This is part 8 (last one) for I Don’t Deserve You series. But it can also be read as a standalone. I’ve been having baby fever lately, that's why I’m writing about pregnancy lol. If you don’t like it, I’m sorry. But I swear it's just fluff, hope you like it!

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

You had been trying to move to both of your sides but you couldn’t find a comfortable sleeping position. You knew Joel must be tired from working so you didn’t want to disturb Joel’s sleep.

You sighed as you got up and walked to the living room.

“Can you let me sleep, please?” You rested your hand on your belly talking to your baby who had been kicking you the whole night.

“Please.” You begged as your baby kicked you again.

You tried to lay down on the sofa and you still felt uncomfortable. You wanted to lay on your stomach but you couldn’t. You were tired and you just wanted to sleep. You couldn’t hold it so you cried. It was probably 3AM and you were sitting on the sofa alone, sobbing in the dark.

“Baby?” You heard Joel walking down the stairs.

You turned your head to look at him. Your eyes were red and your face was wet with tears.

“Why are you not in the bed with me?” He came closer to you.

“Are you crying? What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” He cupped your cheeks.

You shook your head.

“What’s wrong baby?” He rubbed your back in circles.

“I can’t sleep.” You wiped your tears on your cheek.

Joel stroked your hair. He was feeling helpless because he couldn’t do anything to help you.

“The baby keeps kicking me and waking me up. It’s so uncomfortable. And I miss sleeping on my stomach.” You cried.

“I’m sorry, baby. Hey there, be good to your mama.” Joel poked your belly with his index finger and moved his head closer to your belly and talked to his baby. It’s the least thing he could think of to help you feel better.

“I think they listen to you.” You didn’t know your baby’s gender so you called your baby they.

“Thank you.” You kissed Joel.

“Come to bed with me?” Joel held your hands and you nodded.

The sun was rising and Joel groaned. He turned to look at you and rested his hand on your thigh stroking it up and down. You didn’t really sleep well but you smiled at him. You were thankful to have him beside you.

“Morning.” Joel leaned in to kiss you.

“Morning.” You stroked his head trying to fix his messy morning hair.

You started your day as usual by having breakfast with your family, Joel and Ellie.

“I’m going to school. See you!” Ellie put on her backpack and was ready to go out.

“Have a great day, kiddo.” Joel pat Ellie’s head. Ellie gave him a side eye.

“Have a great day at school, Ellie.” You smiled and rubbed your belly.

“You’re going somewhere?” Joel put on his jacket as you tried to wear your shoes.

“I’m meeting Maria.” You struggled wearing your shoes. You couldn’t tie your shoes because of how big your belly was.

“Girl’s day out?” Joel crouched to help you tie your shoes.

“Uh-huh.”

“Done.” He groaned as he stood back. You could hear a crack from his knee.

“Thank you, darling.” You smiled and kissed his cheek.

“Anything for you.” He kissed your lips and went to work.

You went home after your day with Maria and heard Joel’s groan and a loud thud.

“Joel?” You walked slowly upstairs.

“What are you doing?” You saw Joel was placing a bed on your bed.

“Got this for you.” He wiped his sweat on his forehead.

“A new bed?” You were confused.

“Yeah. You told me you missed sleeping on your stomach. Thought this might work.” He put his hands on his waist proud of his invention.

You wondered what was so special about the bed than a normal bed so you step closer to look. It was a bed with a hole the size of your stomach in the middle.

“Did you make this by yourself?” You laughed.

“Uh-huh. I’m smart, ain’t I?” He put on a proud face.

“It’s brilliant.” You let out a tear from your eyes and hugged him.

“Hop on. Why don’t you try it? See if it works?”

You hopped on the bed which was slightly higher so Joel helped you. You slowly laid down on your stomach and put your belly right in the hole.

“Hmm.” You rested your head on the bed.

“I missed this feeling.” You closed your eyes.

“It fits.” Joel threw a fist in the air.

“Thank you, baby. You’re the best husband in the world.” You gestured Joel to come closer and you gave him a kiss.

“Anytime.” He smiled.

“By the way, Sam’s having a birthday party at the bar tomorrow night. They’re inviting us. Do you want to come?” You asked Joel.

“Will Tommy come?” Joel would go if his brother goes.

“I think so. As far as I know, Maria told me she’ll go.” You shrugged.

“Alright, I’ll go. But me and Tommy will be working a bit late tomorrow.”

“That’s fine. I can go there with Maria and we can meet at the bar.”

At the bar

“It’s them!” You pointed as you saw Joel’s and Tommy’s figure.

“Here!” You and Maria waved your hand.

“Hey, baby.” Tommy kissed Maria.

“Did you wait long?” Joel rubbed your belly.

“Pretty long.” You smirked.

“Sorry.” Joel kissed you.

The waitress came and offered drinks. You forgot you were pregnant for a second and instinctively grabbed a glass of alcohol.

“Nuh-uh, you’re not drinking alcohol, mama.” Joel snatched the glass you were holding.

“Oh! Right! Forgot I’m pregnant for a second.” You covered your face in embarrassment.

Everybody laughed.

“Let’s go to Sam and say happy birthday.” You held Joel’s hand.

“Sam! Happy birthday you birthday boy!” You hugged him.

“Thank you! You’re really big!” His eyes widened as he saw your belly.

“Few more weeks to go.” You laughed.

You, Joel and Sam had a chat for a while then Sam went to talk with his other friends.

“Shit! Joel..” You squeezed Joel’s wrist.

He quickly turned his head to the direction where you were looking. It was Josh. He was walking towards you and Joel and you had eye contact with him. You hadn’t seen him for a long long time and suddenly he showed up now. He looked different from the last time you saw him. He looked awful, his eyes had dark circles, hair and facial hair was messy. You were trembling. You were scared of him. Especially since you were carrying Joel’s baby now. You didn’t want to risk your baby’s life for a mere psycho.

“Let’s get out of here, baby.” Joel dragged you but you froze.

“Baby..It’s okay. I’m here. He’s not gonna hurt you.” Joel cupped your cheeks.

Josh was walking closer to you. You saw his pace was faster or was it just your imagination?

“It should have been mine!” Josh shouted as he stabbed a knife towards your belly.

You gasped as you tried to stop him from stabbing your belly. You were in pain grasping the knife with both of your hands. Blood was dripping to the floor. Joel turned to Josh and he tackled him. Joel was too late to stop him from stabbing you. Everyone’s eyes were now at you. Tommy and Maria ran towards you.

“Are you okay?” Maria saw your bleeding hands.

You were in shock. You couldn’t feel whether the blood was from your hands or your belly. You didn’t dare to look down because you were too scared to see. What if the knife got in your belly? What if you had to lose your baby? You couldn’t live with that.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. It didn’t get to your baby. You stopped it. But you need to get your hands fixed.” Maria assured you as she covered your hands with a cloth.

You closed your eyes, tears streaming down your cheeks, and you exhaled. You slowly looked down and saw that your baby was okay.

Meanwhile, Joel was hitting Josh over and over like he was a punching bag. He didn’t care about the fact that almost the whole town was staring at him. He was too wrathful to let someone hurt his wife and baby. The people he loved the most.

“Joel! Stop it!” Tommy tried to stop him but Joel fought him.

Josh’s face was already red with blood. You couldn’t even recognize his face. He was already unconscious and laying on the floor but Joel kept punching him.

“Joel, baby, please..” You cried.

Joel stopped and glanced at you. His eyes were full of anger.

“Will you take me home, please?” You begged.

“Get her home, Joel. I got this.” Tommy held Joel’s shoulder.

“I’m not done with him, Tommy.” He growled as he stood up.

“Got it.” Tommy nodded.

“You okay, baby?” He put his hands on your shoulder.

“I stopped it with my hands. I’m okay.”

“Let’s go home.” He put his arms around you and walked home.

“Wait here.” Joel sat you on the bed while he prepared a warm bath for you.

“Come on. Let’s get you cleaned up.” He held both of your upper arms and guided you to the bathroom.

Joel held your arm as you slowly hopped in the bathtub filled with warm water.

“Will you hold me?” You sat in the bathtub and asked him to join you.

He nodded and took off his clothes. Then he joined you in the bathtub sitting behind you. After he settled in a comfortable position, he pulled you to his chest and let you rest on his chest.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you.” He apologized as he raised your wounded hand and looked at it.

“It’s fine. You did your best. He didn’t hurt our baby. That’s all that matters.”

Joel kissed your shoulder. You hissed when he rinsed your hands to the water to clean it. He helped you bathe with his palm pouring water to your body. Slowly and passionately. You went to bed with Joel after the bath and got your wound fixed.

The next day you went to the council as a victim of murder attempt. Apparently, Tommy put Josh on trial with the council. Everyone witnessed what happened so he was given punishment immediately. The town agreed to banish Josh outside Jackson. You finally felt safe now. On the other side, Joel was angry at Tommy. What he meant was for Tommy to keep Josh himself so Joel could torture Josh or even kill him himself. But Tommy knew what Joel would do so he decided to send Josh to the council.

“Baby, he’s gone now. There’s nothing to be worried about.” You rubbed Joel’s back.

“But he’s still out there alive. I should’ve killed him. Goddamn it, Tommy.” He clenched his fist.

“Come here.” You gave him a tight hug until he calmed down.

The next few weeks were spent at your house crocheting. Joel and Ellie spent more time at home. They wanted to make sure you were doing okay since what happened at the bar. Joel and Ellie loved you so much that your safety was their priority.

You groaned as you felt pain on your back and lower abdomen. You sat on the bed and tried to massage your back. You felt wet under you so you flipped open the blanket. The bed was drenched.

“Joel..Joel..” You panicked as you tried to wake Joel.

“Joel! Wake up! My water broke!” You shouted.

“Huh? What? What’s wrong, baby?” Joel was still half asleep.

“The baby is co-” You groaned at the pain shooting at your back.

“Fuck! Okay, just breathe baby. Everything is gonna be fine.” He saw the bed was soaked and rubbed your back helping to ease the pain.

“I’ll be back.” Joel got off from the bed.

“Don’t fucking leave me.” You were panting.

“Okay, okay.” He went back to sit on the edge of the bed beside you.

“Ellie! Ellie! Come here!” He shouted to wake Ellie up.

“Ellie! Goddamn it! Hurry the fuck up! Come here!” Joel was panicking as he tried to soothe you by rubbing your back. You were wincing in pain.

“What the fuck?” Ellie opened the door.

“Holy shit! Are you okay?” Ellie saw you grimaced.

“Get Maria and call the midwife here! Hurry!” Joel told Ellie and Ellie ran as fast as she could.

Joel guided your breath and helped you feel comfortable throughout your labors. Ellie came with Maria and the midwife and she stayed there to comfort you. Joel sat behind you and you rested your head on his chest.

“I feel like pushing.” You told your midwife as you tried to breathe.

You started pushing and the pain hit you like hell. You groaned, screamed and cried in pain.

“I can’t. I can’t. Please, it hurts. Joel, please, make it stop.” You cried as you squeezed Joel’s arms that were hugging you on your chest.

Joel wanted to cry. He couldn’t see you suffering in pain. But he should stay strong. He should be your rock so he kept telling you encouraging words and supporting you. He wanted to be as much help as he could.

Your midwife guided you to push until you were crowning. You took short breaths and blew them out through your mouth. Joel did the same to guide your breaths.

“It’s a girl. Congratulations!” Your midwife held your baby and put her on your chest.

“You did amazing, baby. I’m proud of you.” Joel tucked your wet hair to your ear and kissed your temple.

“She has your nose. She’s beautiful.” You looked at Joel as tears fell down to your cheeks.

Joel cut the cord and then your midwife and Maria helped you get cleaned up. Joel and Ellie couldn’t take their eyes off the baby as you were getting ready to breastfeed. Joel carried the baby and gently put her to your arms so you could breastfeed her.

“You look so beautiful.” He kissed your forehead.

The next few days, Joel let you rest. He didn’t let you do much work besides breastfeeding. He insisted on doing most of the baby work and he just wanted you to recover well.

“I’ll get her.” You heard the baby cry when you were eating dinner.

“Let me do it.” Joel stood up from his chair.

“No, no. You’ve been doing it for the past few days. Let me.” You stopped him. He sat back.

“Shh.Shh..” You cradled your baby in the dining room.

The baby kept crying even though she was already fed and her diaper was already changed. You kept cradling her that you forgot to eat your dinner.

“You need to eat.” Joel shoved a spoonful to your mouth.

“Thank you.” You opened your mouth and munched.

“Baby..” Joel called you.

“Hmm?” You looked at him with tired eyes.

“I haven’t told you this but thank you for giving me a second chance to be a father and a husband. I have two beautiful daughters now. A perfect wife. I swear on my life to keep my girls safe.” His eyes were watery as he put his arms around you.

“I’m sure Sarah is proud of you up there.” You leaned in to give him a kiss.

“I love you so much it hurts.” He kissed you back.

“I love you, too.”

And they lived happily ever after. (Let’s pretend the golf scene doesn’t exist)

The End

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

Taglist:

@nyotamalfoy @stevengmybeloved @happinessinthebeing @angelicbbsblog @aheadfullofsteverogers @mxtokko @bebe07011 @brockl33 @sarahhxx03

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sarahpaulsonsoftie · 10 months

Text

Spoiled milk

A/N: Hey guys, pre warning, this fic mentions parental issues, parent with addiction, death, grief.

This fic is completely unedited and was comoketely rushed but i had an idea and i had to write as fast it urgently. In the future, i will probably rewrite and republish but so far here is the fic, in its barest form. I do hope you at least get some enjoyment from it.

Melissa Schemmenti X reader.

Spoiled Milk

It’s 3am when you get the call. You’re laying next to a sleeping Melissa when your phones vibrations wake you from your slumber. Melissa is still out cold, so you carefully pick up your phone and see your aunt’s name on your phone screen. You pick up the call, moving out of the bed and walking out of the bedroom when you hear your aunts’ soft cries.

“Hello?” You say, hearing the tiredness from your own voice. Your Aunt sniffles down the phone.

“Y/N, your mum—She- She passed an hour ago. I’m so so sorry, sweetheart.” Your Aunt, Carol, says. You nearly drop the phone out of surprise, immediately more alert from your previous sleepiness.

“How?” You manage to whisper out, you hear your aunt sniffle once more. Your heart aches at her pain, even more than hearing the news of hearing about your own mother’s passing. You walk downstairs to Melissa’s kitchen, sitting down at the kitchen island.

“She- She…” Your aunt trails off and you don’t say anything except breath down the phone. Your aunt clears her throat. “It was an overdose.” Your aunt manages to murmur, and your eyes flutter closed as you breathe in.

“Y/N? Did you hear me?” Your aunt asks, and you notice a slight tremor to your hand as you rub your eyes.

“Yeah, I heard you, Carol. I just- Why- I thought- I thought she was getting clean.” You whisper, aware there is still a sleeping Melissa upstairs. You haven’t quite processed the news yet and, but your heart still aches as the pain in your aunt’s voice.

“I thought so too, sweetheart but she.. You know- Knew your mother. She always relapses- relapsed.” Hearing your aunts corrections about your mother brings the harsh reality that your mother, the only mother you had -albeit not perfect in any way- is dead.

“I- uh. Auntie, I must go. Please call me in the morning when uh.” You don’t know what to say and you feel your eyes growing wet.

“Of course, sweetheart. I love you, and your mum, she loved you too, in her own messed up way.” Your aunt states, before ending the call.

You sit at the kitchen counter for a moment before messaging Melissa that you couldn’t sleep and decide to head home to get a couple of hours in before school.

You don’t head home, you drive around in your car for a while before pulling out your phone. You notice a message from Ava. You click on it and see her online still. You check the time. 04:06. You sigh, before reading the message Ava has sent

‘Why are you online so late?’ The message reads, you feel your eyes brim again before you tell Ava the truth and ask her not to say anything to anyone. Ava reads the message almost immediately.

‘I won’t. I’m sorry you’re going through this. You can take tomorrow off if you need.”

The response surprises you, Ava never struck you as someone who would be so willing to accommodate staff in that way. You stare at the message for a while before typing your response.

‘It’s fine. I’ll be in tomorrow.’

You poured spoiled milk into your coffee. It’s lunch time at Abbot, you don’t remember the events from the morning, other than Melissa asking you if you slept any better at yours. You nodded with a fake smile, and she brought you in for a quick, secretive kiss.

But right now, all you know is that you poured spoiled milk into your coffee. The staff room is too loud from chatter that you can’t concentrate to. And you poured spoiled milk into your coffee.

You hear the staff room door open, and someone walk in, but all you can do is stare at the curdling milk that is in the coffee that you wouldn’t even need if you’d got some sleep last night, instead of driving around town, trying to distract yourself.

You hear someone say your name and you don’t look up because there is spoiled milk in your fucking coffee.

“Y/N!” You hear Melissa’s voice, and you look up to see her and Barb beginning to sit at their usual table.

“Yeah?” You ask, throwing another glance towards your coffee cup. You hear the staff room door open again and walks in is Ava, Jacob, and Janine. Ava spares you a glance of sympathy.

“What’s up with you? Tired or somethin’?” Melissa asks and you breathe in to try to calm yourself.

“I poured spoiled milk into my coffee.” You say, and you realize how stupid it sounds out loud, but if they knew the story behind it. Ava watches you with a look of uncertainty, and Melissa looks slightly confused but she doesn’t respond to you.

“Come on, Y/N. No point in crying over spoiled milk.” Jacob laughs, and you raise your eyes to him as you clench your fists lightly. Ava steps forward, placing a hand on your shoulder.

“Y/N, Girl, if you wanna take a few personal days, you can.” Ava states, almost lightly pushing you back, and for some reason this makes you even angrier. Your mum and you didn’t have a good relationship, you’re not upset about that. You’re angry because you poured spoiled milk into your coffee.

Jacobs seems to retreat to the couch, Janine following quickly. You don’t miss the questioning glance that Barb and Melissa throw you. They know this isn’t like you and Melissa quickly draws it up to your tiredness.

“I don’t need a few personal days, Ava. What I need is someone to put the f—” You don’t manage to finish your sentence before Ava’s hands are pulling you out of the staff room and into the hallway.

“I think you should come to my office, girl. You’re acting like 2008 Brittany.” She says and it’s all you need to hear before you’re following her down the hall down the office.

She sits in her chair, and you allow yourself to sit too.

“Someone left spoiled fucking milk in the fridge, and I poured it into my coffee!” You shout, and Ava put both her hands up in defense.

“Girl, you, and I both know this ain’t about no spoiled milk. Right now, as your boss, which I apparently need to be when you’re acting like this, I am telling you to take a few personal days.” Ava states calmly, all of her usual sass gone. She’s being reasonable, something you’re not used to.

“Your mum died. You need to deal with that. Go to the funeral and then come back to work, when you’ve had actual time to go to the funeral.” Ava says and you shake your head.

“I can’t go to the funeral.” You say, and Ava stands, moving closer to you.

“Why?” she asks, and you look up at her, finally accepting that maybe this isn’t about spoiled milk.

“My stepdad... He doesn’t want me to go cause my mum stopped talking to me before she died.” You say, and it finally hits you that your imperfect mother has passed. “My aunt told me this morning; told me she’d fight it. I told her not to bother. My mum and I didn’t get along.” You say and Ava steps closer bringing you into a hug.

Your eyes water and you accept her hug, before sniffling into her shoulder. You pull back and Ava looks up at you.

“So you’ll take the personal days?” Ava asks and you nod lightly. “Good. Also, in any other circumstances, if you sniffle on me, I will push you to the ground.”

You manage to crack a smile at that.

After leaving school early, you crash on your bed. You wake hours after school has finished and check your phone to see you have 5 messages from Melissa. The woman who you had a friend with benefits relationship. The woman who would only kiss you in private. The woman who would not let it be known you two were seeing each other, to anyone other than Barb.

You unlock your phone and click on the messages.

‘you ok?’ 12:47pm

‘Y/N?’ 12:51pm

‘you’re seriously taking a few personal days off over spoiled milk?’ 1:32pm

‘glad your personal day is going good, while the rest of us are suffering with your trying to balance your work load’ 1:57pm

‘ignore me then, Y/N. You’re acting like a child’ 4:37pm.

You look at the messages and check the time. 9:30pm. You knew Melissa would still be awake so you begin to try and type an explanation, before realizing that Melissa wouldn’t care. So, instead you type out,

‘I’m Sorry.’ 9:34pm, Melissa reads the message almost instantly and begins to type her own message.

‘You know, I was gonna ask you if you wanted to make things official but after today, I see how immature and selfish you are. So, don’t contact me again.’ 9:35pm

Two days pass and it’s Thursday. Ava has been messaging you to check in but you’ve been holed up in your apartment, not sleeping, not eating and holding yourself in foetal position for most of the time.

‘Hey, gonna need tomorrow off as well please. Funeral day is today and although I’m not there, I kinda just wanna process that shes now officially gone’ 12:20pm

Ava views the message almost instantly and takes and agonising time to respond.

‘take all the time you need, girl.’ 12:47pm

It was lunch time at Abbot elementary school, and the staff were all eating their lunch, making their coffees, and having distinctive chatter.

“When do you think Y/N’s gonna be back?” Janine finally has the courage to ask and almost all eyes on her, and Melissa looks up.

“Don’t care.” She grumbles. Barbara furrows her brows at her friend before looking towards Janine.

“I don’t know. But I do know that God sometimes gives us battles to not only test us, but the people around us.” She states, giving a kind smile to Janine. Melissa rolls her eyes and Barbara can’t help the glare that forms.

“She seemed really out of it when she was last in, and then super angry.” Jacob states, looking towards Janine.

“She told me she didn’t sleep well the night before, kinda shrugged it off. Didn’t expect her to take a few personal days because of spoiled milk.” Melissa all but growls, and shrugs lightly, “Anyway, I messaged her and gave her a piece of my mind. All she said was sorry so she probably doesn’t wanna face the fact she took a personal day over spoiled milk.”

Barbara looks at her friend and the looks around the staff room at all of the staff who are either nodding in agreement or pretended not to be part of the conversation. She might have expected the judgement from the other staff but not Melissa, the woman who had confessed to her that she had fallen in love with you.

“You all cannot seriously believe this is just about spoiled milk.” Barbara states in disbelief. Eyes shoot up to look at her, and Janine locks eyes with her before looking down ashamed.

At 12:17pm, Ava waltzes into the staff room and notices the tension but doesn’t say anything because she doesn’t care enough about these people to get involved.

It isn’t until her phone vibrates at 12:20pm and she looks down to her phone, seeing your message.

Barbara notices the look of sympathy on Ava’s face that she asks.

“Was that Y/N?” Is her question and Ava looks up at her. She pours herself a cup of coffee, adding an ungodly amount of sugar before answering.

“She won’t be back this week.” Is all Ava says before trying to leave.

“Over spilled milk? Jesus Christ, that girl needsa reality check.” Melissa states and Ava whips her head around.

“Girl, don’t act all stupid and pretend this is about spoiled milk.” Ava says, and glares at Melissa.

“So, you admit it’s not about spoiled milk?” Barbara asks, and Ava sighs nodding slowly.

“She didn’t want me to say anything but the way you all been bad mouthing that girl, I think you deserve to feel guilty.” Ava says and looks around the room, her gaze lingering on Melissa.

“What do you mean? Whats wrong with Y/N?” Janine asks, and Ava pulls out her phone showing the message to Barbara. All the staff in the room watch as Barbara’s face contorts to sympathy.

“Who?” Barbara asks sadly, and Ava looks at her, beginning to leave the room.

“Her mother.” Ava says before leaving and responding to your message.

“Barb?” Melissa questions, trying to grab her attention.

“I told you! I told you not to message that girl those horrible things and now you have absolutely no idea what you have done.” Barb says, her voice raising with every word.

“What happened?” Janine asks and Barb look towards her.

“Her mother died. I imagine she found out the day she was ‘crying over spoiled milk’” Barbara states, her glare increasing on Jacob who visibly shrinks under her gaze. “Now if you excuse me, I am going to call that girl and check she is okay.”

Barbara leaves the room but not before throwing one last glare to Melissa.

At 1:03pm you get a call from Barbra, which throws you off. You answer the call and immediately, Barbara is asking you how you are, who you’re with, if you’ve eaten.

You answer her questions truthfully, and she sighs down the phone.

“Please tell me if you need anything, Y/N. Do not hesitate.”

You’re confused but decided to ignore it and try to get some more sleep.

At 8:07pm you receive a message from Melissa.

‘Open the door’

You swallow the lump in your throat and head to your door and open it. On the other side, you see a distressed Melissa, with red bloodshot eyes and messy hair. You’re sure you don’t look any better.

You nod for her to come in and neither of you say anything, you just stare at each other. Melissa’s hands reach out to touch yours and you step back.

Her face is full of hurt as she looks down at her feet. “I’m sorry about your mum”. She says, not meeting your eyes.

“Who told you?” You choke on the words and find yourself bringing your hands to your face in shame.

“Ava.” She says. “Well Barbara, Ava showed her the message you sent, Barbara told us all off for acting the way we did.”

You remove your hands from your face and lock eyes with Melissa.

“Told you off.. for acting the way you did?” You question, and Melissa nods slowly. “Not just you?” She shakes her head shamefully at the question. You look at her in disbelief. “So wait, you all thought I’m the type of person to take off personal days for No reason?”

Melissa looks at you and opens her mouth to speak. “You all thought I am the type of person to just leave you with my workload for no reason?” You reiterate and Melissa looks away from you and nods slowly. “Even you?” You ask, and you move you hands to her face and lightly force her to look at you.

“I didn’t know what to think, Y/N! I thought at first, you were just tired, then I thought you didn’t wanna be with me anymore, and then I thought you were sleeping with Ava.” She admits and you laugh humourlessly, removing you hands from your face.

“You know what? I wish I was sleeping with Ava instead of you! She was the only who reached out when she saw me online, she was the first one to tell me to take the personal days, and then she forced me to take the personal days.” You shout and Melissa says nothing, just watching.

“My mother died, Melissa! I’m sorry I gave you guys my workload! I’m sorry I needed time off! I’m especially sorry that I fell in love with you!” You rant and Melissa seems to react to this, her hands reaching out towards you.

“You’re in love with me?” She asks, and you step back, staring at her.

“Wait hang on, you didn’t know that?” You seem to calm. Looking at her, you see her eyes brim with tears.

“No, I didn’t. I thought it was just sex for you, and that’s why I got so defensive and angry at you and I should have just came here in the first place, instead of being so cruel to you.” She confesses and you don’t say anything, instead you walk out of the hallway and sit down on your couch. Melissa follows and stands in front of you.

“I wouldn’t have told you.” You whisper, eyes brimming. Melissa sits next to you, and she doesn’t say anything. “I wouldn’t have told you.” You repeat.

“I understand why.” She states, and her hands make their way to your head, and she begins to play with your hair.

“No. It’s… My mum and I didn’t have a good relationship. She was an addict. We hadn’t spoken for a while before she passed. My stepdad didn’t let me go to the funeral and uh, I guess I realised that although I didn’t like her, I loved her a lot cause she was my mum, you know? And in all the bad shit she did, she was still my mum.” You say and Melissa’s hand come to a pause, and she readjusts so she’s looking at you.

“Loss is still Loss, sweetheart. And I’m so sorry I didn’t see that there was so much more going on.” She says and you don’t say anything, except pull her in for a kiss. She stops the kiss and looks at you. “As much as I wanna kiss you, I also wanna just take care of you. I meant what I said about wanting to making things official. Didn’t mean the things I said before that though.” She says and you nod.

Melissa pulls you in for a hug and you almost cry when she begins to rub your back.

You weren’t just upset over spoiled milk. Melissa knows that now.

-Fin.

#melissa schemmenti #melissa schemmenti imagine #melissa schemmenti x reader #x reader #abbot elementary

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