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heyitsyn · 3 years

Text

Keeping Up With Seijoh Pt. 10

a/n: based on this post uwu

okayokayokayyeyyy

LOOOK I LOVE THIS SCENE LIKE I CAN GO ON A RANT OF HOW IMPORTANT THIS SCENE IS LIKE SKDJSLDKKSSM

okay so

yuhhhhhh

the way this is set up is basically seijoh simping for you

also they have their own separate gc just for them bc they dont want you to see them just simping for you

even tho oiks ltr does that everyday

but hes not ready for that conversation

there was a few times that you were kinda curious as to what was in the chat

but they would click off and they would blush before diverting you to a different conversation

this might sound hella weird and creepy

idk bout yall but i think its cute that they take random pictures of you doing the sinplest things

this all started bc of one picture

from baby aki-kun

so basically you stayed behind with kunimi during monday to just study and you sat in front of him while sharing his desk

babie took a pic of you just studying and he sent it to the gc with no context

its a known fact that seijoh doesnt practice during mondays so they were all doing something out of school

but they were all missing you so seeing you with kunimi fueled jealousy in everyone

even kyo

oikawa blew up in the chat and was keyboard smashing

the others were just teasing him like hes lucky youre with him

but behind the screen, they were blushing and red and envious and AAAAA

thus spurred on some sort of competition

like they would send the chat pictures of you like 'hA TAKE THAT SHES WITH ME'

unbeknowst to you, these boys have folders of just cute candid pics of you

oikawas insta is filled of you and his snap is full of you in his story and his tiktok is full of screaming simp rants about you

the tiktok comments are all like,

‘IS SHE YOUR GIRLFRIEND?!’

‘OIKAWA-SAN SHES ADORABLE’

‘BACK🤺OFF🤺OIKAWA🤺I🤺CALLED🤺DIBS🤺ON🤺HER🤺FIRST🤺‘

random ones like him doing a day in my life type of vids and you appearing and everyone can just see the small blush on his face and the bashful yet happy smile on his lips

its really adorable

but the real ones know that shes been appearing in his insta since day 1

moilk.bread.1

thats practically your account now

welll,,,

its more of a fan account for you and a lot of people from aoba johsai follow that account since you dont have an official one yet so they all simp for you there

the pictures were all from everyone like the boyz group chat was a haven for your candids

you did think it was strange that the boys would constantly ask to take pictures with you and everyone was just trying to get a pic to have aesthetic couple pics w you

and they would put it as their wallpaper or lockscreen

IMAGINE THE BLUSH THEY WOULD GET WHEN COMPLETE STRANGERS WOULD ASK THEM IF THATS THEIR GIRLFRIEND

oooo i mentioned this in the post too that iwa and you went to the gym and you guys took a mirror pic

after, you didnt really like the gym bc its just hard yanno?

iwa went back and while he was setting up his weights and equipments, his gym buddy noticed his phone light up causing your picture to show up

'oh? is that your girlfriend, iwaizumi?'

duh he doesnt have a girlfriend so he was like 🤨 until he saw his phone

the lockscreen was blaringly bright and your 'couple pic' was showing with the notifications

totally not oikawa blowing up their group chat bc he was with you

ofc babie hajime got all flustered and he blushed before shaking his head

'n-no'

he mumbled and his buddy laughed before clapping his back

'well, you obviously like her so do somethinf about it before someone does'

dont you think he doesnt know that?

also with mattsun!

this mans works in a cute cafe that this old granny owns and this thought has been living in my head rent free

and he was working during the weekend at the cafe

there were other people there but granny loves him bc hes been working there sibce he was like 15 and she took care of him a lot

he was like a grandson

so while he was serving, this granny was manning the cashier and checking people out

issei's phone was there on the table behind the counter and it started glowing at the indication of the messages being received

'have a nice day-oh!'

she noticed it right there and she saw the picture on his lockscreen

you were probably being carried by him due to your levelness with his height and you were kissing his cheek while issei smiled brightly

that was a picture you both took during an outing at the mall and the sunset behind you was just perfect to take a picture in

poor granny was like 'oop dont look at the messages' so she turned it over to not go to his privacy

there again you were

it was a polaroid of you two and he was backhugging you at school

hint? 👀

askldfjlsdkf

she knew issei was a very handsome young man so there shouldnt have been a surprise that he would be dating someone

can we name this granny?

granny inko lol

okay so granny inko saw issei coming over to rest the serving board thing and she beckoned him over

mattsun nodded and leaned over the counter to see what she wanted only to be greeted with a flick to the forehead

‘oW what was that for?’

he whined while holding the spot

granny inko tutted disapprovingly before crossing her arms

‘youve been working all week this week when you could’ve taken time off to spend it with your pretty lady. is this how men are nowadays? didn’t i teach you right to treat women properly?’

duh baby mattsun was confused like O_O

‘wha?’

his dumb question made her grab the phone and place it on the counter in front of him

‘your girlfriend, child. women need attention constantly and as much as you want that money, is it worth losing that smile full of happiness?’

okay stop it granny im getting emotional

more like disagreeing bc that wouldnt put food on the table BUT ANYWAYS

baby issei was surprisingly embarassed and scratched his neck

‘um,, baa-chan,,,,, she’s not my girlfriend’

he flustered and gave her an awkward smile

granny inko shot him a confused look and tapped the phone

‘well, she looks like she is. and if not, better hurry your move, boy. girls that make men happy like that only comes as rare as a good scratch ticket’

LMAO

i do not encourage gambling so please save your money kids

you know what

these boys do that just to actually feel like it

okay thats confusing so imma explain it in greater detail

whenever someone mistakes you as their girlfriend, it makes them feel like you are for that split second and its just an addicting feeling

its like what if you were their girlfriend?

i mean, youre already the whole team’s girlfriend but theyre greedy brats and just want you for themselves

ohohohohoh

kyo!!

kyo def has a selfie of you both with the doggie filter but it was actually you who took it while he was just staring at you in the background

that was his lockscreen for like the rest of his high school career

lol

anyways!!

he was actually in a fight and during it, his phone fell off to the ground and conveniently oikawa messaged causing it to light up

one of the thugs had their hands gripping kyo’s collar and was pushing him against the wall while the others were surrounding them

they saw the phone flash and kyo cursed at the terrible timing and he made a mental note on killing oikawa later

a guy picked it up and he smirked, seeing the pretty smile of a pretty girl

‘heh? whats this?’

kyotani pushed the guy who was holding him but other two surged towards him and held him tighter

their leader snatched the device and chuckled

‘oh. its that bitch from his school. what is it’

he snaps his fingers as he tries to remember before stopping

‘aha! l/n y/n!’

kyo growled

‘shut up!’

the guy grinned at him and tapped the phone against kyo’s chin

‘oh yea. i heard shes a cutie. most people here know her, kid. now we know shes connected to you and guess what. you cross us again, she’ll take your place as you are right now. orrrr, we can,,, use her as our pet. thats how she is in your team, right? so let us have a turn. maybe we can send you a pic, hm?’

yea no that wasnt happening

kyotani easily beat those people up after because even just saying that unleashes power he didnt know he had

‘bastard. youre lucky this is just a warning. you touch her and i will kill you’

he landed one last kick on the guy’s face before taking the phone and leaving

now he has to figure out how to hide the bruises

you fussed later and he didnt tell you the reason instead just saying they said something that made him angry

nah

you were a person he didnt want to disappoint and he knows how much it hurts you to see him in that state

that was one of the things he hated but loved at the same time

you were such an empath that you would treat him and wince as if you were the one feeling the pain instead of him

and it made him feel special

you were one of the few things he holds close and he would be damned if anything happened to you because of him

the group chat was actually just blowing up with more screaming and the third years yelling at each other with the first years just casually reading the texts

they were used to the arguments within the team and you would remain so naive with the whole thing

kunimi is the type to keep silent and he didnt really care about anyone getting angry if you were spending time with him

but he does get annoyed if you were with kindaichi because you three were a package lol

like when kindaichi and you were at the arcade, this kid walked all the way there just because he didnt want kindaichi to hog you to himself

duh you thought this was adorable and endearing bc they wanted to hang out w you

no LUV theyre greedy brats who gets jealous over yOU

so like i mentioned before that you and makki would walk over to the bakery and you guys would buy food there and such

and its also canon in here that makki only shares his food with you and no one else lol

why?

because when you eat the puffs, you put one in each cheek and it makes you look so adorable like a squirrel

sorry but squirrels are so cute like AAAAA

makki takes so many pictures of you and a lot are surprise shots where your eyes would be wide with cheeks full of food

aaaaa so cute

like you and makki sat down on a bench in the park across the bakery and you excitedly dug in to your own treat

makki chuckled at your excitement but he placed his hand on you arm to stop you

‘y/n-chan. say aaa’

you lit up and let him put the puff in your mouth and thought he was done but was surprised when there were two

you happily chewed it and went back to looking at your treats

but makki interrupted you again by calling you out

‘princess~’

the nickname made your eyes widen with red painting your cheeks and the shutter of the camera made you realize what he did

‘makki-senpai!’

you whined and he laughed

makki had a lovestruck smile on his face and he wiped the bit of creme on the corner of your lip

‘gotta take care of my princess~’

STOPPPPP MY HEART? GONE MY SOUL? GONE HOTEL? TRIVAGO

OH MY GOD IM IN SUCH A MAKKI AND MATTSUN AND IWA AND OIKAWA AND THIRD YEARS IN GENERAL BRAIN ROT PLEASE HELP

but we gotta give love to the second years :’)

ive mentioned that watari is the only person to ever go into your house right?

well, he comes over to cook and such so you guys spend time making food for the team

watari takes this opportunity to take pictures of you cooking and the group chat cries bc its so domestic and they all start having the same thoughts

they really said seijoh braincells

it was like seeing a glimpse of a possible future for them

you, wearing an apron, cooking on the stove with your hair thrown in whatever with baggy clothes

gosh

thats like you someday being their wife and waking up one morning to see you there cooking in the kitchen

oikawa swears he had a dream that night because of that picture and he continuously thanks watari for YEARS because of that picture

okay are you curious about the dream?

yuhhh

oikawa woke up in an unfamiliar bed in a foreign room

he felt his bones crack when he stretched and his hand extended out to a side that was still quite warm

somebody must be sleeping next to him

then he stood up, catching his reflection in the mirror in front of the bed

;)

why would there be a mirror there hmmmm????

ANYWAYS

he noticed he had a bigger build and his hair was longer

then came the itch of the facial hair that he swore wasnt there a minute ago

this guy even checked out his butt and to his surprise, wow

obviously he was confused and a part of him thought this was the future

tooru walked to the door to go into the hallway and concluded, yep, this was not his house

then he heard music being played somewhere and a mixture of voices coming from a room

sounded like a woman and children

he stops at the top of the stairs, suddenly hit of the thought that this voice was so familiar

‘hm?’

tooru walked downstairs and stopped when down the hallway in front of the steps led to the kitchen where the voices seemed to lead to

‘mama! mama! mama! toast! i wan toast!’

‘in a bit, darling. just let me finish flipping the pancake’

the song was lo-fi with the volume being turned low enough to hear the voices fine

tooru wandered down the hallway and he stopped, finally seeing the owners of those voices

there was a handsome little boy sitting on the chair by the island and his brown hair was a mess of wild curls

there was a woman with h/c hair swaying to the tune and a beautiful little girl curled up in her arms while sitting on her hip

‘hey’

oikawa spoke out and caught everyone’s attention

‘papa’s awake!’

‘pa!’

‘hello tooru’

tooru froze

that was you

he knows it’s you

‘y/n-chan’

he whispered and you looked back at him from the pan

‘yes? if youre looking for coffee, we ran out apparently’

that was not what he was talking about

he hastily walked over to the boy and he blinked rapidly

‘you look like me’

he mumbled and the child grinned

‘eung! papa and yozo look the same! mama and nana say so!’

yozo?

feeling like all the attention was on him, the little girl whined and her hands made grabby motions to him

‘pa pa’

she whined and tooru just felt something in him that screamed to hold the kid

you shushed the little girl

‘dont worry, looney loon. papa’s right there’

loon?

tooru stayed frozen at his spot and you raised an eyebrow at him

‘tooru? luna wants you’

luna

that snapped him out of his trance and he held the little girl in his arms where she smiled at him and then he felt tears welling up in his eyes

then he woke up

okay sorry that was a long dream

so this dragged on for so long already okay

this was only meant to be small but aaaaa i couldnt help itt!!!!

but anyways!

the boys are just simps for you and theyre creeps that take pictures of you and they think about you all the time pls accept their love

also a mild continuation of the dream:

oikawa was holding luna and she was happily laying there when another figure emerged from the hallway

‘iwa-chan?’

he asked, surprised

what was he doing here?

iwa heard his name and grunted before going to a beeline for you

you smiled at him and he leaned in to give you a kiss to which oikawa froze in

iwa noticed his best friend holding his daughter and luna saw her father there

‘daddy!’

she shrieked and tooru blanched

‘uh, what?’

iwa extended his hands out to hold the girl but tooru held her tightly and leaned back

haji narrowed his eyes

‘um, give me my daughter, oikawa’

he grumbled and tooru shook his head

‘no! shes my daughter!’

you blinked

‘your god daughter, yes. but she’s half of your best friend, tooru’

half of his-

god? daughter?

‘so that means-’

‘piece it together, oikawa. did ya get brain damage or something? babe, call the doctor’

oikawa screamed

a/n: lol look WHO ROSE FROM THE GRAVEEEEEEE :) anyways. i really want to deeply apologize to everyone for taking an unexpected break and i shouldve told you guys and im really sorry :( everythings just chaotic lmao and im just like taking a breath for a second uwu and im so AMAZED at how many people still follow me even tho ive been gone for so long like bls yall are real ones :’) i love you all and the req box is still closed at this time as i need to finish the ones i have first soo thankyou for reading thiss and hopefully ill update soonerr!!! :)))

also not me completely messing up my kuws and missing 8 and 9 in my masterlist and having a mindblowing realization that i have 10 keeping up with seijoh fics

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a-slut-for-smut · 3 years

Note

what are your top 10 relationships in aot?

Hmm very interesting question anon- thanks for asking! Idk if i can really rank them since i only have the one OTP, but i can certainly give my 2 cents on the most popular pairings, according to the interwebs.

2 things to keep in mind:

i dont hate/dislike any pairing. I dont care enough to waste energy doing so. I like what i like, other people like what they like- simple as that, i cant understand why its so hard for ppl to grasp this concept

You may be wondering about my recent tag usage because ive been tagging a lot of diff ships- mainly for my anti-SNK139 shitposts. Just had a wild idea that maybe- JUST MAYBE, we could all put aside our differences and just have a laugh at our shared misery. Because idk how any of us are supposed to be happy with this ending. I mean, upon reflection I see what Isayama was going for, but idk its just tough to swallow unlike Levi's fun juice. Which, in my opinion, should be taken as a compliment- the man set the bar so high with the previous arcs that our expectations were thru the roof despite a rushed final arc, and he just...missed the dunk? Anyway hot take, i know.

Ok i digress- to the ask, in no particular order:

Levihan

Cute ship, very fluffy. Who doesn't like best friends to lovers trope? And theres no denying they have mutual respect for each other, which is a huge kink of mine. Honestly, its hard for me to ship a pairing if it isn't evident. That said, does this pairing get my ovaries going? Eh, not particularly but i still likies

Erehisu

I was behind this ship mainly because i was sold on Eren's "Walter White" villain arc. What better catalyst for a dramatic change in character than if their child was involved? The idea that Eren went full Hitler because he got Historia preggers and wanted the child to grow up in a "free" world? What parent wouldnt sell their soul for that goal, given the world they live in? And Historia- grappling with the knowledge/morality of Eren's plan but for the sake of the child? Prime for character development. Not to mention all the blatant crumbs. But Isayama went NOPE.

Eremika

Oh boy. So, firstly, i would have readily accepted this ship if Isayama laid off the one-sidedness a bit. But he didnt. And while im sure there are instances that can be interpreted as mutual affection, i dont see how that excuses all the times Eren snapped at her/just generally annoyed with her attentions. Like, we dont know his POV at all until the very end which retroactively you can say, oh he didnt want to cause her future pain? But by then its too late for US. And in the end (im not clear on this tho/too lazy to check) was it ever made clear to Mikasa that he reciprocated her feelings? Im prob biased/self-projecting here, but I would NOT have stuck around on the off-chance that the dude is faking his disinterest?? Even if he did save my life and is my childhood friend! You dont owe someone love because of that, but because of how you mutually treat one another. Anyway i woulda taken the fucking hint and moved onto Levi's dick, i would never put up with that nonsense

Eruri

These 2 are bonded, to say the least. They hold each other in high regard and i love that about any ship. Good stuff.

Ereri

Doesn't do much in the ovary-dept for me relationship-wise, but man, this ship is popular for a reason. The fanart for this ship is TOP TIER

Yumihisu

Again, they regarded each other highly and theres no denying they deeply cared for one another. Sometimes love doesnt give a shit what genitals you happen to have, why cant ppl understand this? We all got hearts and souls, that counts for something??

Aruani

The energy for this ship is a little tepid for me. Maybe because her ass was stuck in a crystal 70% of the story, but i liked pre-crystal annie alot. If anything, i preferred her dynamic with Eren more, mainly because Eren respected her so much and she contributed a lot to his character growth in the first arc. Just my preferred dynamic for a ship. Also she kicked his ass so much i was beginning to think he was into it

Jeankasa

Dont mind it at all. I think it lacks a certain degree of intensity that i prefer in my ships, but theres def mutual respect there and im all for it.

Jeanpiku

Thought this was a cute ship that came to bloom in the later chapters. its intriguing dynamic- falling in love with the (former) enemy kind of way.

Rivamika

Uh. Where to start. Actually i wont because this post is long enough as is. Just peruse my blog if you're actually curious ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

#thanks for the ask anon #replies #tagging because i dont know where anon is asking from?#i hope i dont regret tagging this

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ivyuns · 4 years

Text

moral of the story ❆

han jisung

genre: angst

word count: 2.8k

warnings: hella sad breakups + cheating + language

A/N: listen to moral of the story by ashe + i need to stop falling asleep while writing, istg this was better in my brian

part one | part two

masterlist

so i never really knew you, god i really tried to.

you started dating your best friend since you were a kid and never regretted one bit of the memories you two shared. you knew dating an idol would be tough but jisung never made it hard for you. sure some stays didn’t accept you, but stray kids was there to help you get through it. after two years of the relationship, it was still healthy or that’s what you wish it was.

stray kids was currently in japan for their tour for two months and god, you missed your boyfriend. the past now four months was hell for you. jisung started to stay in the studio all day and night, then coming home for two hours then went back to the studio. you would stay up for him to come home then him just ignoring you, feeling neglected. all you wanted from him was at least one ‘i love you’. you don’t even remember when was the last time he said it to you.

thought we could really this but, really i was foolish.

you could remember the day he was head over heels for you before he asked you out. exactly two years ago, hyunjin who was jisung’s best friend had told you that jisung had a crush on you. you never understood since you always saw jisung flirting with other girls which broke your heart. you wish you were the only girl for him.

you ignored hyunjin and continued walking to your next class til someone pulled you back and kissed your lips. you widen your eyes as you see it’s your best friend kissing you; han jisung. your mind can’t process anything after you just had your first kiss by a man you loved ever since you were a kid. a for this day, you won’t forget about that very special moment of yours.

4 months go by and you and jisung had your first fight. it was stupid. so stupid. you visited jisung after changbin texted you to come feed your baby since he was producing songs at such a late time. you made his favorite meal and drove to the jyp building where jisung was.

you showed your id to the scanner to open the security door for the building and was greeted by jyp himself. “hello y/n! here looking for you boyfriend?” he laughed. you smiled and did a 90 degree bow. “hi jinyoung!” and laughed. “ah y/n, you don’t need to be so polite. your mother taught you so well! anyways, jisung is the studio room where he always is.” he patted your back and left after you said a thank you.

you go to the room where he is and there you see, a stress jisung with his hair messy and eye bags under his eyes. you go up to him and placed the bag of food in front of him. jisung automatically looks up and sees your beautiful face, his one and only. he smiles with tired eyes and hugs you.

“baby when did you get here?” he muttered and peppers you with his kisses. “like 5 minutes ago, your boss kept me for a minute.” jisung quickly lets his arm loosen around you and panicked. “did he ask to break up with me!?” he lightly shouted. “no baby, he was telling me where you were” you smiled. jisung exhaled our loud, thankful for jyp for accepting you.

you two cuddled on the chair til jisung let’s you have a sneak peak of their new song. you strected your limbs and felt your hand touch a random button. the music was peaceful til all you heard was statics. your head faced jisung’s as he let go of your body, making you stand up while he went to check on the song that was saved on his laptop.

jisung’s hands started to pull his hair off of his scalp as he tried to not yell at you but failed. “are you serious y/n?! that took weeks to finish and you just corrupted the file!” jisung shouted. your lips quivered in fear, not knowing how to reply. “jisung, babe, you can make a new one. its oka-” .. “no its not okay!”. words after words, jisung had a few ugly words spit out of his lips that made you feel more useless. “all you do is come here and annoy me and the boys when we need to work our asses off. just because we act nice to you doesnt mean the boys always have a soft spot for you in their heart. just go and never come back. why did i even like you in the first plac-” jisung was cut off by a door slamming shut.

oh how much did he regret saying those words to you. he knew you were insecure, especially when you feel like youre bothering others. he sat down in his chair and wiped the tears off of his face after seeing the face look you had before you left, full of fear.

you on the other hand was walking to the exit of the building with you head down. ‘hes not going to run after me anyways’.

you walked inside your apartment, full of sadness as you can’t get the words jisung had said about you out of your head. you lay on your cold and empty, but soft bed. looking beside you is where jisung is supposed to be at. turning to your bedside table, you see a picture of you and jisung on your first date as an official couple. you had a cotton candy cone in your hand as you tried to feed a piece to jisung til he kissed your lips. how grateful you were for hyunjin to take a picture of that very special of yours.

tears started falling as you drifted to sleep, not noticing the missed calls and messages from stray kids, especially jisung.

the fight had lasted for almost two week and you felt like shit. you haven’t ate a full meal and haven’t left your bed unless it was for your hygiene reasons.

you stood up a bit too fast and stared feeling weak. you shrugged it off and continued walking to your bathroom which was connected to your room. as you turn on the bathroom lights, your eyes were blinded and started to see black and fell.

jisung on the other hand felt so different. his mind wouldn’t focus on the music, instead it was you. he went to your apartment the past 5 days to talk to you only to see the pin number to enter your apartment to change. first he tried your anniversary day with him, then his birthday, then your birthday, then day when you and jisung got your very first couple pet but nothing worked. today, he went by as he left notes under the doormat everytime he came by, only to see the notes untouched when he went to place another one.

he felt something bad had happened to you so he quickly ran to the dorm to search where you placed the ‘emergency key’ for your place in case something happened. jisung bursted through the entry way of the dorm as he scared the other ‘00 liners. “woah hyung, what are you doing?” seungmin asked.

“i’m trying to find the key for y/n apartment” jisung panted while looking everywhere, “you know the one for emergencies?” hyunjin stood up with his keychain in his hand. “oh you mean this one?” and showed the key with a little picture of you and jisung on it.

jisung immediately grabs the keychain and runs back to your place with a yelling hyunjin behind him, telling him to be careful.

he arrives at your place and places the key into the lock. he rushes to every room to see if his sunshine is in one of the room. he went upstairs and to the room. he saw the bed looking all cold, even feeling cold with your phone thrown at the wall in the corner and picture frames of you and jisung faced down. he went to the closet and felt relived as you didn’t try to run away. lastly, he went to the bathroom and rushed to your cold figure.

he sees your pale figure and realizes you’re not breathing. tears sprung out of jisungs eyes as he rushed you to the hospital.

“i’m so sorry baby”.

you woke up with the sun beaming to the room, a unfamiliar room. you turn your head to see jisung with his hands linked to yours and tears staining his face as he peacefully sleep. your hands twitch and jisung lifts his head quickly. he looks at your with worry eyes and hugs you, “im sorry my love. if i didnt yell at you that night, you wouldnt be in this state. im so sorry y/n.” jisung sobs into your shoulder.

“jisung, baby, its fine. as long as you realize your mistake and come back, its fine. thank you but what happened? why am i here?” your smiled coming down as it dropped as you remembered what happened.

“the doctors said you were lacking nutrients for your body and lost a lot of weight. those could making you feel lightheaded and a risk of passing out. god y/n, if i didn’t go back to the place, you would still be laying on the bathroom floor with no help.” jisung starts to sob even more as you bring his head to your chest, hugging him and telling him ‘it’s okay’.

i said ‘some people fall in love’ with the wrong people sometimes.

you came home after a long day of work. you unlocked your door to see jisung’s shoes on the side and smiled. you walked upstairs and you swore you heard a female voice .. on a call?

the bedroom door was cracked open so you quietly eavesdropped. “i gotta go babes, y/n is home” jisung whispered to the phone. babes? “ok sungie i’ll see you later!” a high pitch voice came out of the phone.

jisung got up from the bed and went to open the door, looking for you as you pretended you just came up from the stairs. “hi baby, how was work?” jisung asks innocently. “it was a lot. can we cuddle?” you went up to him and hugged him. jisung nodded and led you to the bed to cuddle, eventually falling asleep.

it was currently 2 am and you woke up with jisung still sleeping next to you. you almost fell back asleep til you heard a notification from jisungs phone. as his screen lit up, you saw the name of the sender and it broke you.

jiseo 💗

i thought you’re coming over baby ?

please don’t tell me you’re with that bitch still.

i thought you were gonna break up with her today babe?

so this is why hes been so distant. you put the phone away and fall into your slumber, wishing it was just a nightmare.

some mistakes get made. that’s alright that’s okay.

you waved a goodbye to jisung and the boys as they headed to their plane for their japan tour. the night before, you talked to their manager and asking if you could follow along. the manager agreed so now you wait for the next day to go to japan.

you packed all your belongings and headed to the airport. you passed security and handed you ticket to board the plane. as the plane took off, a notification lit up your phone.

jisung baby 🐿💕

hi baby we just finished rehearsing

i miss you already

y/n 💓

i miss you too, stay safe baby <3

after sending jisung a quick message, you exited the app and saw your wallpaper of you and jisung on your first year anniversary date. where the relationship was still full of love. a tear fell onto your screen, missing the feeling of being loved by your significant other. after a little session of your crying, you decided to take a nap of the remainder of the trip.

you think that you’re in love when you’re really in pain.

you arrived at the airport close to where stray kids was touring at. you had called their manager to pick you up, also letting him know you had landed safely to see your jisung.

you waiting about 10 minutes til you saw a car window roll down in front of you, yelling your name. you looked up and saw the driver, noticing it’s their manager. you got up and brought your luggage to the car with the help of him.

during the car trip back to their hotel, you told the manager about you and jisung. you tell him how he’s been really distant and you don’t feel loved again. all he tells you is that everything will be okay and he’s probably just stress from all the comeback and producing.

you two arrived at the hotel and walked in. the manager gives you an extra key card to jisung’s shared room with jeongin. “what if jeongin is in the room with him?” you asked him, feeling worried. “ah don’t worry y/n. i told jeongin that you’re coming to surprise jisung so he’s in the room with seungmin and changbin.” he reassured you. you thanked him and went to the door number of where your boyfriend was staying.

you put the card in the key holder and opens it. you walk inside and lift up your head to see a naked jisung and a naked girl under him. seeing the sweat glistening on his perfect golden skin and hearing moans and grunts made you sick. this must be the jiseo he’s been talking to.

“han jisung!” you yelled out to get the two people’s attention. jisung quickly turns his head to the door to see you with tears falling down your cheeks.

“baby i-” you cut off jisung.

“no! now i know you’re so distant to me. because you cheated on me. i came here to surprise you, not to see you put your dick in someone.” you paused for a second after harshly wiping the tears falling. “i don’t understand what i did wrong jisung. w-was this 2 years just a joke to you? our best friend days?” you sobbed. at this point, the girl who was under jisung had escape from his embrace and ran away after putting on her clothes.

“y/n i can explain!” you roll your eyes in annoyance, not wanting to hear his side after you found out everything. “explain what!? that you’ve been cheating on me? i loved you even when you still went behind my back and cheat on me.” your fingers touched the promise ring on your left ring from jisung which was from your first anniversary.

“jisung, from today and so on, we’re broken up. please don’t try to contact me.” you took off your ring and threw it to him. you grabbed the handle of your luggage and left his room. after hearing the door shut, loud sobs left you as changbin who heard everything went to comfort you.

jisung, who heard your sobs aftwr the door shuts made him feel weak. he doesn’t even know why he ended up cheating on you. you were the best girlfriend anyone could ask for and he just ruined everything.

he went to pick up the ring and saw the inside of the ring. ‘sunshine <3’ he read. jisung slid down the wall with the ring still in his hand and started bawling. ‘i’m sorry y/n’.

after the comfort from changbin, you broke the hug. “changbin, please tell jisung i said thank you for everything and his stuff will be on his bed.” thanking changbin and gathered you stuff and flew back to korea after spending your savings in under a day for a jerk.

you got back to your place and quickly went to pack jisungs gifts he gave you, his hoodies, and the memories placed in the photo frames. from best friends to lovers, and now exes. looking at the pictures made you cry more. after what he did, you still love him.

finally getting everything together, you went to go to the boys dorm to return jisungs stuff. you entered his bedroom and placed the box on his bed, waiting for his arrival. you went to look for a paper and pen and wrote:

‘ily’

after putting the materials back where they were, you saw a picture frame of you and jisung on his nightstand. you grabbed the frame and opened his nightstand drawer to storage it, only seeing something that caught your eyes; a small black velvet box. you open it to see a diamond ring. a ring you always dreamed of.

quickly putting the items back in his drawer, you looked at the whole dorm, reminiscing the memories made here. you left the key that jisung had gave you on the table and opened the front door. making sure to lock it before you leave. wiping the tear the threaten the fall after remembering the ring he was going to propose to you with, you shut the door and went back to your apartment.

in the end its better for me. thats the moral of the story babe.

END <3

lmao i might just do a part two-

148 notes · View notes

justsomefluff · 4 years

Note

Okay this might be a lil weird but what about an ateez reaction to making frog bread together during quarentined :3

this is so cute, anon!! my friend made frog bread a couple weeks ago and it looked so good lmao

Also! None of the pictures of frog bread are mine, Google aided me on this one.

Hongjoong:

He is gonna bake the cutest frog ever

He’s gonna knead the dough like the kitty he is

And then he’s gonna ask you to help him shape the lil friend

Also, there’s no stopping him, he’s naming this frog

This frog is going to be his illegitimate child okay

You’re gonna coparent like pros

I mean, until you eat the poor thing, of course

Joong is definitely gonna make sure to do all the stuff thats even kind of dangerous

Like you need food scissors to open a new bag of ingredients? Joongie will do it

Need to put the dough in the preheated oven? Joongie will do it

And while you guys are waiting for the froggie friend to bake, you will start making dinner to go along with the bread

Once everything is finished, and the oven timer goes off, Joongie is so

excited to see the finished product

You open the oven and see your perfect lil frog baby (shout out to Frog Baby at my uni lmao)

I mean he’s a lil wonky but thats okay you still love him

You make sure to take plenty of pictures with your creation before you end up dipping his eyes in your pasta sauce O.O

Seonghwa:

Seonghwa’s frog is going to be perfect okay

Like he will take this project very seriously

He will sculpt this frog with the utmost patience and gentleness

And he won’t let you touch it

Like if you even try to help him he will shun you

Full kick you out of the kitchen without question

And if you try to distract him, he will send you the absolute dirtiest glare

Do not mess with Mama Hwa while he is making frog bread

But if you really want to be in the kitchen with him, he will allow you to start making your actual dinner

Will allow one (1) back-hug when you pass by him

And once dinner is ready, he will be so proud of his froggie

He will make you close your eyes and make it a big reveal

Has the cutest, proudest smile on his face

And he will tell you to open your eyes and be like “isn’t my son perfect”

“Don’t you mean our son?”

“No, you did nothing”

“YOU WOULDNT LET ME”

“BECAUSE HE IS MY MASTERPIECE”

But forreal his froggie is so perfect, unmatched honestly

Yunho:

Yunho is going to make this a competition okay

Who can make the best frog bread

So you both make lil biscuit sized froggie friends

While they are baking, you are both having a very intense debate about whose will be the better froggie

Who will have the most attractive frog

Long story short, the oven timer beeps and you both whip your heads towards the sound

Like its so dramatic

You race towards the oven and fling it open

Cue dramatic heavenly music

Now cue a doom and gloom sound effect bc your froggie has flattened completely

Yunho is hysterical and laughing bc your frog has stuck itself to the pan and its entire underside is burned

And Yunho’s little biscuit is a little bit burned, but mostly perfect

You’re pouting at him bc your poor little froggie didn’t work out the way you had wanted

Then he feels bad and he carves a smile into his lil froggie’s face

Promises to share his froggie biscuit with you so that you won’t feel too sad that yours got destroyed

Yeosang:

Yeosang is turning this into the messiest arts and crafts project you’ve ever done in your life

Full on food fighting with you

Super cheesy and cute

Tossing flour all over the place

You both have so much flower in your hair that it just looks like bad dandruff at this point

You both take plenty of pictures of you laughing together and being covered in flour

It’s actually super cute until you remember that you’ll have to clean up when you’re all finished

Somehow the frog eventually gets in the oven

You pass the time waiting for the froggie to finish by cleaning up the kitchen

Once that timer beeps, both of you look at each other

You’re kind of nervous to see how he turned out, seeing that you guys had messed around the entire time

But surprisingly, the froggie comes out looking decent!

You’re both super excited to eat him though

Yeosang’s immediately like “should we eat his legs first?” Lmao

San:

San’s frog bread making experience is pretty much the most romantic baking date you’ll ever have

He’s singing softly the entire time

Laughing quietly whenever either of you cracks a joke

Will totally dance with you while you wait for the bread to finish baking

Like its so sweet and romantic the whole time

But then the oven dings

And you’re both so excited to see the finished product

The oven opens… and the romance is gone

Because both of you are literally rolling on the ground laughing so hard

Like its a recognizable attempt

Its just that, instead of frog bread, it looks like “a frog that got smushed bread”

He’s just really really flat

Almost fills the entire pan with his flatness

Tears are running down both of your faces as you cackle like Dr. Frankenstein over your creation

“FLAT BOIIIIII”

But he tasted good and I guess thats all that really matters

Mingi:

Okay so when you start out it actually looks pretty good right

Super cute, kind of cartoony frog child

You and Mingi are having a blast while making it too

Playing music super loud and dancing around like maniacs

Literally screaming lyrics in each others faces

Just having a good time together and you’re both super happy

You kind of cool off a little and do some dishes while you’re waiting for your froggie to finish baking

When the oven timer finally dings you both rush over to see the finished product

“WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM”

“I DONT KNOW HE LOOKS LIKE THE CRAB FROM MOANA”

“AHHHH” “AHHHHH”

But then you’re laughing bc I mean look at him lmao

“We tried, I guess”

And you really did try, so you just giggled at it

forgive me froggie for we have sinned

Then you put your frog abomination on a pretty plate

And waited for him to cool so you could try a piece of the bread

Wooyoung:

Okay first of all

Wooyoungie is going to want to make a dozen mini froggies for all of his friends okay

He will make a dozen of these lil guys just to make sure he has enough to share

He will have you help him and you try to make them all as identical as possible

And after a painstaking hour of molding dough into perfect little froggie shapes: its time for the oven

While you’re waiting for the bread to bake, you do the dishes and he thanks you sincerely for helping him make these little treats

He’s really proud and excited about giving these to the members because he knows how much time and effort you had both spent to make these perfect

Once the oven timer dings, you guys pull the little froggie friends out and place them on a baking stand to cool down

He takes pictures of each one and will serve them up specifically for each member

Baker Wooyoung is just the softest baby okay

Jongho:

This boy is going to make an entire froggie family and you cannot stop him

Will end up being cheesy and be like “thats you and thats me”

“And these are our babies”

And he’s so excited

He will name the little baby ones

And he’s discussing with you super seriously

“What about this name? No? We can choose another one”

Will literally look up baby names for inspiration

Like oh its serious

Once they’re finished baking

He’s going to plate them up so that they look like a family and they’re all cuddled up together

And he will take a picture of them

Then photoshop the babies names on them

And he will be like “which of the parent frogs do you want to be?”

And once you pick the one you want to be, he will photoshop your names in the picture too

Then he sends a picture to the ateez group chat and of course the guys are like ewwwwnoooo until their girlfriends say that they want to do it too lmao

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indecisive-v · 3 years

Text

NINJAMUFFIN DOING ANOTHER AMA ON TWITTER, HERE'S MORE SHIT FOR YA! keep in mind i'm just sharing the funkin related stuff, though i am including WAAAAY more than what i shared before 👍 go check out ninja's twitter profile for questions about stuff like ritz! questions in blue, answers in orange. if yall don't wanna read everything i MIGHT make a version of this post where i replace the answers with my own summaries of em (and if the questions are long, those too)

and here's a link to the ama tweet itself! dunno if it's still goin

Q: I figure the answer will be yes but do you have more plans to implement more guest appearances from people in the newgrounds community into FNF? Or are you all gunna focus on OG lore and stuff going forward

A: for guest appearances, I think we have always seen it as getting a healthy mix of both. PERSONALLY I'd like to lean towards having more OG stuff than guest stuff, BUT it's all a matter of what other boys think of that as well. I'm not the sole person working on game!

Q: Are you gonna release the full FNF game or are you gonna be releasing week after week? Like, are you gonna release week 8 or are we gonna wait some years until The Full Ass Game comes out?

A: Release plan for FNF right now is a few more updates or whatev to the 'demo' we have out right now, and then a long silence of probably no updates whatsoever until the full game is done (which will likely be a few years). That's partly why we made kickstarter for game.

Q: Hey so like, how much will Fnf cost after it's finished? And when will you ask the supporters what they want the game on?

A: It's all subject to change, but right now it prob gonna be standard 15-25$ lil steam indie game.

We will ask Kickstarter pledgers and whatnot what they want the game on SUPER close to when its released, to keep options open if we get onto anything like a console people want.

Q: 1. how was your day

2. are you releasing a week 8 song early like week 7, or are you goin full lockdown

A: I am doing GOOD today, and I think recently I've been good in general.

up to the mood, but so far we doing good about not having anything leak or whatev, so I think it'd be fun to have update come out with people not knowing what to expect at all. Build dat intrigue

Q: Will fnf ever get official plushies?? Seems like an untapped market

A: FNF plushies will prob happen some point, we have a lot of current merch stuff on our plates already though! (Mostly kickstarter type stuff, shirts, pins, posters, and all the physical OST stuff) Its a lot to sort out, but in time more and more stuff will happen. We r jus 4 boys!

Q: did you ever expect your game to blow up as it did? what was your first reaction to seeing it become super popular

A: FNF never had a humble moment, literally day 1 before the prototype even came out, the vid on twitter had like 5K likes overnight. Then when ludum dare version came out, it got 5K likes again, like it wasnt just a fluke. Was crazy, and def felt like somethin was different wit FNF

Q: Do you plan on getting other people to come in to help with the music? That seems like a lot of work to dump on one person, what with the erect mode and whatnot.

I guess the question could apply to all aspects of development. Will you be bringing on more people to help?

A: We definitely are getting help from other people. We are always keeping an eye on people for various different things. In terms of programming, already I've gotten 2 people (MtH and Geokureli) to help with certain Week 7 stuff (charting/polish, and loading stuff). Shit like dat

Q: Oh, also, will the Steam version be Workshop compatible? That'd really help streamline the process of downloading mods.

A: Steam version of FNF will likely NOT be Steam workshop compatible, because we want all the mods to NOT be spread out through different places. There WILL be modding support that is as streamlined as Steam workshop though. Mainly for non-steam versions of the game!

Q: Are there any chances that the game will have a physical release? Also any updates on a switch port? I remember one of you guys talking/joking about it.

A: Not impossible for FNF to get a physical release. We would want to see how far we could go with it though. I think it'd be super easy to do something wit people like LimitedRun games or whatev, but I think stuff like that can only go so far. I wanna see Funkin in mf Walmart!!!!!!

not that LimitedRun isn't going to be an option! Just we consider and pursue many different things! FNF release is years away, so we have time to think about everything. Whole mindset can be different just a few months from now.

Q: Out of curiosity, how are you dealing with all the popularity? It blew up so fast id barely be able to handle it if I was in your shoes.

A: The only way I've been able to handle it is having the other boys on the crew and being able to talk to them about all the overwhelmingness.

Part of it feels very lonesome, feels like NO ONE can come close to comprehending exactly how I'm feeling, except them. also other PALS!!!

Q: Do you own any of the bootleg FNF merchandise? Like any bootleg plushies or anything?

A: i dont, i genuinely think they r a waste of money, and I know any bootleg shit that gets made, we can prob go about and make it, and make it 100x cooler because we actually put effort into shit. bootleg shit just in it for the coin, so they aint gettin that from me

Q: How did you go about getting in contact with sr pelo for skid and pumps vocals?

A: Pelo i think was familiar and pals wit PhantomArcade a bit thru various Newgrounds things and collabs and whatnot.

pelo retweeted the first OG FNF posts first ever, and brought a LOT of attention to it. to pay him back, we put skid and pump in game! ask dave for more info prob

Q: what's the plan for having the full ass game open source if it's gonna cost money? couldn't people just download the source and compile the game for free?

A: when FNF is fully released, the full source code will be released as well.

the game will be DRM free so it will be way easier for people to redistribute the released/offical .exe instead of compiling it, so that's not the issue anyways. people will pay for things if they like it

Q: What are the chances of it getting on consoles like switch or Playstation, ps5 would definitely be my preferred way to play

A: it'd be a matter of hiring someone to build out backend stuff for those specific consoles. someone who knows their way around all the wacky code stuff, AND knows console hardware stuff. Then its just a matter of hittin up those console manufacturers (Sony, Microsoft, or Nintendo)

the CLOSEST one is SWITCH. pretty much all of that backend is already made, so it just a matter of gettin all that access and shit.

i think in any case though, there's a lot of NDA stuff required, i dunno how much we'd be able to talk about it even IF we get that stuf sorted

Q: any ideas of releasing it on epic store or another platform?

A: Right now, the only thing that is 100% confirmed and WILL happen is a Steam version, itchio version, and mobile versions on respective app stores. Other storefronts aren't out of the picture though, but we don't want to spread ourselves too thin with it.

Q: Will you continue using HaxeFlixel to make the rest of FNF?

A: yes, because it is what I'm the most technically proficient in, and generally is VERY flexible. just a matter of ME becoming a better coder. It's ALL open source, so if I need something done a certain way, either I can do it, or we can hire someone to do it.

Q: have you seen game theory's videos on your game yet and if so, what do you think about them? (not talking about his predictions because i dont want spoilers. i like mystery)

A: it is always good silly fun to watch the Game Theory vids about Funkin with some pals, and see what matpat thinks of the game. i lov the vids, but wish he used my face less! Or at least used a cuter pic of me like this one!!

Q: Ok so: What does the future of FNF look like to you?

A: future of FNF is a rhythm game that not only exceeds every expectation that people have of it, but subverts most expectations and conventions as well.

Q: Do you plan on retouching on older weeks once the game is fully out? Like reanimating sprites, redoing some charting, updating the background, etc

A: retouching and probably overhauling certain aspects is almost definitely gonna happen. Everything is fluid and can be changed (and should be changed when necessary). i dont think anything should be too attached to, especially this early on in development

Q: I honestly do not care if the answer to this is vague as hell to keep surprises and shit lol but… Since Week 7 was the closest we’ll get to a playable girlfriend (still bf controlling tho), do you have plans to make girlfriend playable in spin-off things or just freeplay?

A: wouldnt be out of the picture for a playable GF, i don't think we've had some hard thing AGAINST it. just a matter of what we want out of the game, and what sort of story or whatev we could do with that concept

Q: How do BF and GF manage to meet famous newgrounds characters (such as pico, tankman and the others to come) like is this all in one universe/ timeline or are they being brought in?

A: i think they are all just there existing. i think there's a lot of wacky things in other media that try to justify crossovers, like MULTIVERSE bullshit or TIMELINE shit, but i dunno, its like subspace emissary. Captain Falcon and Olimar from Pikmin just hang out. Shit like dat

disclaimer that all lore shit is in phantomarcade head pretty much and maybe there is wacky dimensions or somethin

Q: Will the game have dlc?

A: its not too unlikely that we'd have expansions of some sort, but i mean right now we plan on packing in as much as we can into base game, and trying to make that as pure as possible.

if there is ANY dlc, i would personally want it to be 100% free updates

Q: How did you meet Phantom Arcade, Kawai Sprite, and EvilSker? And what do you think about the community and its controversies?

A: me and phantomarcade been fukin around NG for years so years and years ago we naturally crossed paths and became pals

about 2 years ago i found kawaisprites music on NG, and started talkin wit him, made Ritz wit him and we fell in lov

and evilsk8r i met cuz of FNF!!!

quik elaborate on evilsk8r, wanted artist for gamejam FNF was for (ludum dare), and OG person i asked wasnt available, so he referred me to evilsk8r, who I have never met or talked to before ever.

#friday night funkin #fnf #fridaynightfunkin

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fipindustries · 3 years

Text

list of comics i made so far

i already shared the list of all the novels i tried to write throughout my llife so i see no reason why not to do the same with the comics i tried to work on. no i should clarify, with my lists of novels there was a clear cut distinction between what was a novel and a short story so to parse one from the other was an easy task. it should be known that i wrote hundreds of shorts stories that i havent shared with anyone. now a similar situation occurs with my comics, i have done hundreds upon hundreds of little comics, short jokes, little skits and short lived strips through my life, so in order to give this list some weight and not make it longer than the bible the criteria i used was that it had to be something i did on a regular basis or that tells a self contained story with a beggining middle and end.

now without further ado, lets begin!

spike Vanderville (age 7)

you can tell i was way more into comics than i was into novels from a young age. done with pen and folded paper, it was the story about a young kid called spike, whose design was heavily inspired by bradley from sticking around, who had magical powers which allowed him to manipulate reality. it was a mix of harry potter and a series of illustrates short stories that came in a magazine in argentina. his best friend was a scarecrow with a pumpkin head that he had brought to life, his archnemesis was a fat bully.

curiously enough i was so passionate about this project even though i had no idea what i was doing and no talent that i actually did like three full colored issues of it. my family was really proud of me. sadly those comics are completly lost to time

andrew and the monkey (age 10)

this was the classical story about a boy and his best friend the talking animal. one page comedy strips done in pen and paper. nothing too clever, just a way for me to try lame jokes mostly stolen from spongebob squarepants. not much else to it. i tried to do like a revamp in 2014 but it was short lived, as you can see the jokes didnt get any less lame

FIP industries (age 17)

mostly done in digital. yes as you can see fip is something that has followed me my whole life in quite the variety of mediums. there were as a matter of fact multiple attempts to make this comic a real thing but time and again they would peter off as i saw that my skill was just not up to the task. i think i have talked more than enough about fip industries on this blog, one interesting thing is that if you follow the link you will come across a lot of proto ideas that i had before they cemented and took their definite shape in the novel (and even after the novel i kept retconning and retooling things over and over again, fip industries is an ongoing thing that will probably last my entire lifetime)

Disregarding Reality I (age 20)

the first iteration of disregarding reality, a humorous strip done in pencil and paper, a fairly short lived affair, lasting no more than 3 months. the entire premise of the comic was an MRA activist and a feminist live together, they are friends, they argue a lot. remember 2013 guys? back when this whole politics bullshit truly kicked off online? this was before gamer gate, mind you. but by that point i had seen more than enough of it on tumblr and i was like “someone should do some scathing commentary with wit and penache” and that someone had to be me. mainly inspired by commics like f@nboys and el goonish hive and a thousand billion others that were so popular back in those halcyon days.

i got bored of it pretty quickly and it wouldnt be until three years later than i would finally decide to re-start the project but until then...

Strangers in the forest (age 21)

here comes a rather productive era in my ouvre, ink and paper, based on a short story i wrote, its about an eldritch monster pretending to be human and a ghost girl, killed by her father. they have a dispute because the monster wants to eat the corpse of the girl but the ghost doesnt want to give up her bones because its the one thing that tethers her to the mortal plane. they eventually resolve their dispute. by this point i was actually, unironically trying my best to do comics which i felt looked professional.

Song of a nightmare (age 21)

another one based on a short story i wrote. ink and paper, a private detective wakes up in the middle of the night and sees a mermaid lying in bed next to him. he spends most of the comic trying to figure out how the hell is this possible. still one of my favourite ones and certainly one of my family’s and friends favourites as well. a rather poetic tale, strongly inspired by argentinian fiction and their propensity towards magical realism, i was reading a lot of cortazar back then.

Aika (age 21)

as you can tell i was on a fucking roll that year. ink and paper, this was a story based upon a simple and basic idea that i had in my mind for years and years. i always liked the concept behind the movie “the kid” where bruce willis mysteriously comes across himself as a kid. so of course one day i came up with the idea, what if you recieved a visit from your future self... but she was a woman?

this is probably the most aggresively trans story i ever wrote in my life, it is literally about a guy realizing they are trans and breaking down over it. here is the giant kicker, i did not realize at all what i was doing. i was completly unaware of what was going on here, i was still deep deep in the closet and not even realizing i was there. it really is astounding the honesty and the rawness with which i wrote this comic and it went all over my head. a perfect example of “im such a great ally lol”

oh also there is time travel i guess. my main impetus (beyond whatever my subconcious was forcing me to do) was my desire to make a complete clusterfuck of a story, i was a huge fan of homestuck, i had read fleek and demon, i wanted to do my own take on a hypercomplicated time travel puzzle plot. other things came out on top of it but i didnt noticed them. fucking hilarious

Hello Agatha (age 21)

a comedic strip about a wacky pixie dream girl having wacky adventures with her wacky friends, one of which is a man with a toilet for a head. what a gut buster, what a knee slapper!

there is not much to say about this one, wacky surreal comedy was always my favourite and so time and again i would try my hand at it but it is surprisingly hard to do!

The /co/ ventures! (age 20 - age25)

an ongoing project done in multiple mediums. i think i said more than enough about this in here and here. it was me practiscing comics, practiscing my humor and adding my tiny grain of sand to the 4chan culture. i am proud to say these comics were actually very well liked there and that i would be recognized without a name or signature of any kind, just on the strength of my style.

the vest kind of madness (age 22)

probably one of the projects in which i put the biggest amount of effort to make it look professional. traditional inks and digital colors. a crossover that i cant believe never happened in comics considering how obvious it is. Rac Shade, the changing man and delirium of the endless, the two flagship vertigo characters associated with madness. clearly a match made in heaven.

to this day im flabbergasted i seem to be the only one to think of this.

Disregarding Reality II (age 23)

another work where i have already spilled rivers of bytes explaining my thought process behind it. after having a no good, terrible, very bad day, finding my self aimless and without purpose, deep in denial and depression, i decided to give my self a big project to have something to get me out of bed every day. these three guys came from the depths of my mind to save me.

this time leaning a lot more on silly humor and surrealism than political commentary, still insanely proud of how much i managed to make this last, almost three years, well over 200 pages! and in here i found the inspiration and the creative energy to tackle all sorts of diverse projects of which we are about to see all about.

Mama Bird (age 24)

my masterpiece.

by far the best comic i ever did. a kid with a bird for a mom. hilarious, touching, heartbreaking. it was a concept that i had come up with when i was 21. back then it was supposed to be exclusively a humorous comic strip but then i found a dramatic angle for the story and that was when everything clicked into place. that was when i realized this was a comic i had to do. and i did it. it took me five months but it was well worth it. still insanely proud of this one

Soft boys (age 25)

a weird experimental little story where i decided to sit down and deconstruct one of the most popular superpowers. super elasticity. more akin to me just mashing my toys against each other than me trying to tell a serious story. i am actually really happy with some of the art here and some of the sequences presented. particularly the final one where a brick joke twenty pages in the making finally pays off.

Hexen Snatch (age 25)

a semi spinoff to my novel FIP industries, we focus on a side character that managed to survive after the events of the novel and how they’ll manage to survive further beyond that. insanely soaked by the magical world of pact by widbow i wanted desperatly to share my own take on magic, every page is accompanied by a little text where i expand upon the lore and the way magic is supposed to work on this world. i really like the prose on those snippets and the ideas they work almost more that the comic itself with which i was not happy at all when i was working on it. i didnt like the character design, i didnt like how the art in general was coming out, i didnt like the pacing of the story or how superficially we were getting to expore this world in the comic proper. i had to take a very long hiatus just to accumulate the will to finish the comic and once i did i feel it really petered off without much of a satisfying payoff.

on some level i blame the exhaustion and frustration that i came out of this comic with for the fact that i ended up quitting disregarding reality soon afterwards.

Maxplosive (age 26)

another project that has followed me across multiple mediums. came up with an idea for a videogame back in 2015. saved it on the back pocket for a while, used it as a story within a story on my novel fan.tastic, practisced a couple of animations with the characters and eventually decided that, if my skills at videogame making were not enough, i had at least more than poven myself as a comic artist so maybe that was the definitive medium in which this idea would have to exist.

the original idea was to tell the story in two parts, the first half would introduce the character and the videogame as if the comic was a playthrough of the game. all fun and childlike and innocent. then the second half was meant to explore the life of the main character as an adult, how being “a videogame protagonist” had ruined her body, her mental health and her life. i tried all sorts of weird stuff with the format here, using reciclable assets, static camera angles and generally presenting the whole thing as if it was a videogame.

sadly the project got too big for my breaches, i was fucking exhausted back then, swamped with a bunch of other projects, my job, other responsabilities, unsatisfied with the story and with no idea where to take it. eventually i got tired, decided to skip a day, then the day became a week and then the week became a month and by then i had to face the facts, i was just no longer able to continue the comic. and so i quit not only maxplosive but disregarding reality all together.

i still did the occasional comic here and then but it wouldnt be until the very end of 20-fucking-20 that i was finally inspired to tackle a new project, my newest one, my last one....

Lapsarian (age 27)

an interesting experiment, i decided to do the whole comic in one sit and then post it chapter by chapter on a weekly basis. a surprising result of this was that i managed to do in one month the same amoung of pages that would have taken me 5 months back when i started disregarding reality, is good to see that after al this time i still got it.

took me a while to get the hang of it again and find my own style once more but once i armed up it was smooth sailing for 40 pages all the way to the end. but what is this comic even about?

its... weird, with full disclosure and no shame, it is mostly a fetish story about big lizard creatures commiting vore. the milkman had already shown me that i could do those types of stories and no lighting would come from the heavens to strike me down so i said, why not as a comic? i like to think that beyond the fetish content it is still a decent story in its own right, an interesting feedback that i got from this is that people are suprised how earnest it is, one saying something like “this is the best pitch for a fetish that i was never interested in”

Conclussion:

looking back on this im surprised, turns out i was a lot more prolific and working a lot more regularly than i expected, in here are documented ten years of creative output that never seems to wane. it was fun to do the roundabout trip and see how my style, my technice and generally my work ethic evolved through the years. another nice thing to see is the multiple formats, the multiple tools and mediums i experimented with, i find myself constantly trying new things, new methods, new angles, new interesting ideas for how to make a comic (without even getting into what to make a comic about).

something i always knew about myself was that drawing is a fundamental part of who i am, it is something that just cant be taken away from me and that will always be a part of my life one way or the other, is good to see it so plainly, in black and white, on this list. here goes for what i might be able to do in the future

#art #writing #fip living life

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longinglambs · 4 years

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The,,,boys they fuckinf did this to me yOU WONT BELIEVE THIS SHIT- so I went to a deadzone cabin for a DAY AND I MISS FUCKINF EVERYTHING, anyway SINCE I SAW SOME THINGS WITH ATEEZ AND THEIR NEW HAIR COLORS,,hehe I'M LOOKING- I said fuck it it's been a while why not ;)

Story Name: butterfly kisses

Ship: Poly!Ateez everyone x everyone :] Description: The boys discuss their newest hair colors, but not after catching Seonghwa with a INJURY- worried ramblings happen and comfort for the cure.

Seonghwa recently practiced too hard lately and hurt his hip, Ateez has always been prone to injuries- but it always downed the whole group, especially since it was so CLOSE to comeback. Seonghwa was of course upset he loved Dancing, it was something he held dear to his heart- he met everyone by dancing and singing and he felt blessed that he chose to do what he loved,,and got to meet all of his loves.

The first one to find out of course was Hongjoong, it was impossible he wouldn't- he always has a hawk eye on the group. Immediately he reacted with a soft " Hey Hwa? Does your hips hurt?? " he nervously whispers back " is it obvious? " Hongjoong then widens his eyes and says " Why have you not gotten it CHECKED Seonghwa?? " he knew he was upset by his tone, he wasnt gonna take it personally though because he KNEW how much Hongjoong truly cared. He was just scared for the eldest, worried.

Seonghwa looked up to see they were caught- Wooyoung was staring at them " neh what's wrong with Hyung?? " he asks Hongjoong with a worried frown. Hongjoong and Seonghwa hold a gaze for a second- it was obviously a " we promised to tell eachother everything I can't NOT tell them " it didn't help that Seonghwa knew exactly how that felt, Jongho and Mingi both have got injured and had to sit out and he hated it, he just wanted to dance with them again- Ateez can only be Ateez with all 8 of them.

Seonghwa spoke up to the practice room " I think,,I may have sprained my hip,," all the boys in the room immediately crowded to Seonghwa " Guys I'm sure it's a sprain its nothi- " he was quickly interrupted " yOU KNOW HOW A SPRAIN CAN END UP WORSE WHEN NOT TREATED " Woo shouted obviously upset. Jongho nodded pouting slightly, and Mingi yelled a " YEAH ", Yunho looked down at Seonghwa very very sadly " hyung,,," Yeosang held on lightly to the back of Seonghwa's shirt, he wasn't the best at talking for comfort, he WAS good at giving touch for comfort though. San pouted loudly " Hyung you know we care more about you than the comback!!! Atiny would say so too! " he knew that, he just missed Atiny a lot, and wanted to preform so bad. He looked at his array of boys and said " I'll get it checked out I promise ".

And so he did. He was right. It was a sprain. He came home that night to 7 boys all staring at him " so? " San said rising lightly from the couch of boys, his sweater engulfing the boy. San wasn't tiny, not even a bit but he loved His boyfriends sweaters. " it's a sprain- I knew it was " he sighed walking to the couch, " Come here Hyung, let us give you some love " Seonghwa melted at the thought. He softly fell onto the couch and got absolutely swarmed. It started with the biggest of the boys, softly moving his hair out of his face and smooching his cheeks, he giggled at the sentiment. Hongjoong gave him a peck on the lips and gave him kissed all over his face and hands, Wooyoung wrapped his arm around Seonghwas and said " you know all my teasing is just for fun right? You know I love you a lot right Hyung ?? " he says tearing up lightly " oh Woo I know, I know- " he cups his face and gives Woo a gentle kiss " I'm confident you love me, as I love all of you " Hongjoong wandered over and brought his head to Seonghwa and nuzzled it against his. " I love you Seonghwa,," " I love you too Hongjoong " he kissed Hongjoongs nose, Hongjoong giggled and switched with Jongho. Normally you wouldnt be able to tell this but Jongho was pouting. He never pouted- hes always been the tough it out kind of guy, Seonghwa said sadly " are you upset with Hyung? " Jongho looked into Seonghwa eyes with endearment " I'm not upset with you, I'm upset because you are hurt " San came up beside Jongho and said " None of us are upset with you, we were just worried Hyung ". Seonghwa really wanted to cry, he knew it was dumb but he just was always so full of love and happiness with his boys. He brought both of them into a hug and kissed San on the mouth and Jongho on the cheek. Jongho gave him a small smile before backing off with San to make room for Yeosang.

Yeosang crawled to him and gave Seonghwa a hug making sure to avoid his waist, he laid his head into his Hyungs neck and said " I love you " he brought his head back up and looked into Seonghwas eyes, Seonghwa moved Yeosangs long hair " I love you too Yeosang,, " then Seonghwa noticed " hey what, are we gonna do with our hair for this comeback? " immediately Mingi said " I WANNA DO AN UNDERCUT! " Seonghwa choked " y-you wanna get aN UNDERCUT???? " " I mean last time I checked it looked hot on you " Seonghwa choked again. Yunho said " I kinda wanna try what Hongjoong did in Wave but like when it faded " he smiled " You wanna do pink? Then I'll do your blue from Wave " " OOO MATCHING AGAIN " Yunho exclaimed happily Wooyoung screamed back " I'm keeping my hair black hehe!! " " I'm doing natural too!! " San said back to Woo, Seonghwa said " I'm thinking a softer color then this, maybe a grayish color?" I'll keep my hair long re bleach it blond, maybe,,,,do,,a mullet " Yeosang said softly which got a lot of attention " a- a MULLET HAHA " Mingi laughs, Yeosang totally got karma for making fun of Hongjoongs mullet originally haha. " I wanna dye my hair half red,,like what Mingi did with green way back,," " YOU WANNA DYE YOUR HAIR????? " WOO SHOUTED, Jongho laughed at the outburst " it seems fun why not " " god red?? " what's with us and red " Yeosang questioned " shut up mullet boy " Mingi said " SHUT UP MINGI " " HEY NO FIGHTING DURING CUDDLE TIME " Hongjoong yelled in and got them to quiet not without a few last words" I'll get you back MINGI" " please dont I wanna live, I have so many boyfriends please Yeosang MERCY " Yeosang scoffed and said " buy me chicken then your blood will stay in your body " Mingi smiled back " Deal "

They all took their turns taking showers and wandering to a single room to have a complete cuddle pile, these only happened when all the boys felt really down or really happy- okay so they happened pretty much when anything happened- even when they were angry at eachother BAM cuddle pile. Seonghwa being the last out of the shower to join the boys in Yunho and Sans specially assigned room, at times like this they just blew up inflatable mattresses god knows how long itd take to get a mattress to fit ALL FUCKING 8 OF THEM. BUT it would also be too obvious what all their relationship was if they all shared a bed, or maybe not- Korea was kinda ignorant in that aspect but Hongjoong and Seonghwa were way too nervous that if someone found out it would KILL their reputation and everything they worked for. So a simple inflatable mattress would have to do, and it did well. Yunho crawled out the bed to put a background noise movie on, cuddle piles meant all attention on eachother, you dont need to talk, you can just bask in the touch and get head pats and just slowly drift to sleep or get mind numbed by the touch, it was just a great way to relax for a lot of the groups overthinkers. It started with meaningless talk, Mingi telling childhood stories about how one time he ate a bug and then cried and since then has been scared of all bugs, Yunho talked about his younger sibling, how when they were born everything just came naturally, Seonghwa came in and talked about how he was the youngest and all the things he used to get away with, they all had soft laughs before they got to the affection stage of the cuddle pile.

It starts with one of the members patting ones head, another kissing ones cheek, it's just a surplus of touching and affection and it's fantastic. Yeosang is the one instantly out with these effects, and Hongjoong is as well, he always falls asleep really easily but head rubs knocked him out. All of them slowly fall asleep, San, Woo, Jongho, Yunho,

then it's just Mingi and Seonghwa. Mingi pats his chest, he knows what this means, it means I am here for you, come here. He has seen it in every single one of them, it's a gesture open to only them. He moved into Mingis chest and breathed in deeply. He smelled of Pine trees, from Jonghos body wash no doubt. His brain became numb in the smell and warmth, the only thought being comfort. It was 1 am and they all had to get their hair done at 6, but for now he was home, he was with his lovers.

And then it was, Seonghwa, and Mingi.

Guess who finished this this at 1 am?? ThIS PERSON HAHA- but once i write i dont stop so HAJSJWJ I havent written in a long while and I think this takes the cake??? Anyway it's kind of Seonghwa Centric on total accident, also I'm sure the timing is off- I'm sure Seonghwas injury was known after he dyed his hair and That Yunho filmed his news earlier before they dyed their hair BUT FORGET THAT SHIT I said NO SENSE ONLY SOFT KISSES, will I draw this?? No one knows- i also bet no one knew this account was a personal LMAO THE MORE U KNOW

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aidenoes · 3 years

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Im kinda bored so this is a little story time about a toxic best friend i had for many many years

Tw : s*lf-h*rm, s*icid*l thought, forced coming-out

To make the story easier let's call her Fish.

So... it started in primary school, i had moved out into a new city when i was in 3rd grade. That's when i first met her and we never really talked much. Then came 5th grade when we actually became friends.

And middle school happened and that's when everything went downhill real fast. In 6th grade i was still friend with her and i tried to get along with her other friend who was a bitch at that time, and i was too, so we never got along (even tho she is now my best friend bc we realised how much Fish was toxic lmao). So i had made new friends and she had too but we still made up over time and the other girl wasn't hanging out with us anymore.

Moving on to 7th, there was a new girl that came at the school at the beginning of the school year (who is also my bestfriend, props to her for staying with me all these years) and Fish immediately started talking to her. Eventually we have a group of 5 friends :me, her, our boyfriends and the new girl. The thing is that there was a trend of s*lf-h*rming yourself just to pretend to be depressed and sad, and Fish was one of the people who followed that trend. Me, being an absolute idiot, had no idea of the gravity. Well, i mean, i knew it was bad but my bestfriend was doing it so it's fine right ? No, it was not and i almost gave in to but i was afraid to harm myself so i never did. And that example is just to show how much i copied her, i destroyed my relationship bc i wanted to be like her and my ex-boyfriend was so good to me. Her relationship was like an light switch, you never knew when they were back together or not. We also had a skype group and messenger group of just three people: me, her and the new girl. Me and the new girl would badly roleplay and she would tell me, and only me, that i was cringy and leave the group chat like that. And i had no right to tell her i didn't like something about her, but she could though ? I let it slip anyway. I thought i was really happy, then came the worst year of my school life.

8th grade. At this point, Fish and her boyfriend had broken since he apparently abused her (im not sure since she is prone to lying) but i was still in good terms with him. Well we were not the best of friends but i wouldn't punch him (now i would bc he became such a fucking dick). But Fish started to become distant, as if she didn't want me around anymore but i ignored it thinking it was all in my head. One day, our teacher assigned us new places in class and i was next to her ex-boyfriend. We of course talked in class and laughed together. But out of nowhere, she started doing the sign where you slit your throat with your finger, y'know ? I thought she was doing it for kidding and i was just really confused, it was break after that class anyway so i can ask her wtf that was. She came to me and thought i was plotting against her with her ex-boyfriend and just told me to go fuck myself basically. I waited for my now ex-boyfriend and my friend to come-out of their class and explained to them what happened while containing my tears. They tried to go to her and try to understand wtf went wrong and funfact: nothing went wrong and she was just being a bitch and i later learned she just wanted to move on and discard everything from the past year, including me. But i didn't know that, i thought i broke everything, i thought i broke our group friend, i felt guilty and i felt, alone. My boyfriend that got out of school just before me went to my mom that was there to come pick me up, that i wasnt really well and he went away when i got out. My mom did ask me what was wrong and i told her that i'll explain when we're home. At home i explained everything and broke down in my moms arm, i dont know if i cried out of anger or sadness, but seeing me cry was enough for my mom to hate her with all her guts. I've felt so lonely after that. I had no one to eat lunch with, i had no one to be in group in class with and i had no idea of how to occupy my brain when i had no one to talk to, i read in the morning waiting for the friends i had left, i would draw whenever i had to wait alone and i would eat fast to get out the fastest possible. I also lost everything i was since at that time i was like a sponge of personality and just squeeze out whatever the personality people wanted out of me. I had lost everything and i didn't want to be here anymore, i just wanted to die honestly. And i think i wouldve if i didnt think there was my family and my friends. However, it does not end here ! Bc my dumb ass made so many more mistakes ! Bc one day in our technology class i had to work with her for an assignment and we gradually made up until we became friend again, but i was still wary of her and my s*icidal thoughts were still very present. So i was still very toxic and pushing the people that were there for me away. My boyfriend broke up with me. I didnt know what to do, but looking back this was such a good decision for him and for me. I am so thankful for him to have broke up with me, but at that moment i was a bit hurt but at the same time i saw it coming so i had so time to grief about it. A month later my mom decided to bring me to Mauritius (where she is from) bc she thought i had a hard time no having her around for the first time which is kinda true but not all the truth. I had no wifi and no way of contacting anyone. That was so refreshing ! That's when i started to understand that i had the right to think for myself first and not be a fucking carpet for everyone to walk on. I was not out of the shit but i started to understand how to get out.

9th grade, was my savior. This was the best year of my life with nothing to worry about except an exam at the end. You remember the girl in 6th grade that was a bitch ? Yeah we became close friends during that year bc i realised she was a bitch bc she was badly influenced on in 6th and 5th grade. And the new girl remember her ? That's also the year when we got close, the year where we became best friends, when i learned to be and love myself and the year when i started to stand up for myself. I have some bad daddy issues and i have almost always shared my problems with Fish but i started sharing less toward the end of 8th grade. One day i was complaining that i had to be basically the messenger bird of my parents and she looked at me annoyed and tell me 'why don't you go to the police ?'. Like we didnt ??? Like she thinks that my dad was harassing my mom and we didnt ?? That's basically saying 'don't be' to someone who is sad. And i explained that to her and she was like 'don't complain to me if you're going to flip off like that when im giving you a solution', excuse me bitch... what ? I was hella mad. She came fake apologising like a few weeks later. And one day she came out to me as pansexual, great for her, and i was also questionning my gender and thought i was genderfluid so i came out to her. She was like 'oh ok' and i sent her some memes about genderfluidity and she was like 'stop this is annoying'. So i shut my trap. I also learned that during a school i didnt went she faked some anxiety and was being a bitch bc her friend wouldnt come to a shop with her even so another one was ok with going with her. I eventually started to understand that she was bad for my mental health, so i just started ghosting her bc i just didnt want to talk with her anymore and i didnt know how to confront her. She came up and grabbed and pulled me by my backpack that was full of shit just to ask me why i didnt answer to one of her text. I was so scared i just told her i wasnt feeling well and just told her i needed time. The year went by it was great and i didnt want to be in cold with Fish but i also didnt want to be her friend, i wanted to just be classmates, however when she was told this she understood : 'they want to be friend again'. So she clung with us next year.

10th grade, was last year and was full of drama. And we only had 6 months of school. 10th grade is the first year of highschool and the only year where we don't have an exam. I also had a forced new friend that we're going to call Taz so we don't get mixed up. She was also very clingy and it felt like having a leech stuck to me. And Fish was being very, let's say embarrassing and making us feel uncomfortable. She would make ton of sexual joke and we told her it was making us uncomfortable but she would apologise just to do it again the week later so we just gave up. She also outed me in class, thankfully the class was really noisy and only my bestfriend heard it but this fucking bitch just asked outta nowhere 'so you're still on this whole thing about being genderfluid or what ?' And she wasnt talking low, she was talking loud and clear. I felt so embarras and i hoped that no one else heard it. I answered as very quietly 'no.. i think im genderqueer now' and she just said ok. That's also around when i discovered im bi so i was so glad that i didnt tell her about that. And a few months later there was some shit going around about bullying and Fish was one of the targets. And let's say that our english teacher held up a trial so i opened up my big ass mouth to talk and defend Fish. And guess what, Taz just blurted out that i and my best friend were bullying her. Excuse me ? I defended her ass and when i talked to her about it she told me 'no you didnt, you just yelled at me once in physics'. So bc i yelled at her bc she wouldnt listen to me when we had to work i bullied her ? What a thank ! And when i tried to talk it out with Taz, she fucking ignored me and left. I was enraged. I was crying out of fucking rage and still aced a test in english. At the end i explained everything to my crush while i was walking home with her bc she lived next to my moms restaurant. When i stepped into the restaurant, there was my moms friend, which im kinda close to, and my mom who asked me how was my day i cried out of anger. They comforted me and supported me. At school, one day the assistant director called me and my best friend in his office. And told us that in highschool there are no bullying only misunderstandings (i dont really agree with that but anyway) and asked us our side of the story. We explained that we didnt get along with her anymore and made it very clear that we were uncomfortable with her but she wouldnt take a hint. And we left the office just like that. The assistant director probably told Fish our side and she never went to talk with us bc of covid.

Now, im in 11th grade, we do not talk anymore and this feel so much better. Now i'll just drop some bonus drama

She accused me of drowning her when it was her ex-boyfriend that did and made her scared of water, while i was there to support her when she was dealing with her phobia.

And her mom thought that i was a bad influence for her sweet sweet daughter when she was the one to incite me to c*t myself like paper, wow ok.

This is just a personal share and just maybe a way for others to recognise the toxic behaviors of fake friends.

#story time #toxic friendship #toxic friend #have fun reading this #i am still mad sometime #but only sometime

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hinac0lada · 4 years

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My experience with my crush was horrible. (This is long story bc the whole dramatic thingy lasted like over a year so I'll probably send multiple asks) So it all started at the end of January last year, my attention fell onto this guy I've known for years (bc of school) but i never really noticed him before. He was weird, but not in a bad way, he was just really interesting and I wanted to know more about him. I had recently fallen out with my friend group and I only really had my two bffs left

hdsakjdhakj alex and i both read this and our responses will be under the cut! as well as the full explanation if y’all want any context ! but before we do, we want to thank you, nonnie, for sharing your experience with us <33

(Part 2) I kind of latched onto one of them who had fallen out of the group a few months prior due to a fight (kinda) she had with one of the people in the group. She just so happened to be friends with my "soon-to-be" crush's friends so becoming friends with him wasnt that hard. And the more I got to know him, the more i liked him. I fell really hard for that guy. After like, 2 months, my other bff told me that she had liked him for a long time, long before I did, and didn't know how to tell me (Part 3) At first I was a little upset, but this wasnt the first time one of my friends and a crush on my "crush" and I knew I cant control who she liked, so I just accepted it. It would upset me somedays bc I knew he would never like me the way I liked him and it just hurt. They looked so perfect for each other, and they were closer than him and I were and I got jealous. I would fight with her every now and then but I would always go crawling back to her, tho I never apologized (I regret that) (Part 4) I stopped fighting with her over time, and I just grew very... sad. It was just so depressing seeing him and talking to him knowing we would never be together. So then 5 months passed of me just being a sad overdramatic little b*tch. I was probably a really annoying and exhausting friend to him during that time but I never realized it. Every now and then I would unadd him on snapchat out of anger and sadness but add him again right after. God I was probably so toxic to be around (Part 5) But then one day, he just stopped talking to me (I dont blame him), and I unadded him and he wouldnt add me back, and I really stayed to miss him. It took me 7 months (which is a really long time ik) to finally decide to get myself back together and move one from him. And I'm still trying my best to do that but just recently he started talking on a gc we were both in again and he added me back and idk what to do. It's hard. (Part 6) I was so flawed during the whole thing and everytime I look back at it, I regret everything and wish I never spoke to him, but then I think about all the times he made me so happy by just talking to me or saying goodmorning/goodnight and I miss him so much more. I really love him. And I get mad at myself for ruining a friendship we could've had at the very least. But maybe it was for the best, idk. What do you think?

ALEX; hello love<3 i hope you're at least doing better than before :(( if you had to ask me what i think, i think you're doing the best that you can and it's good that you realized your mistakes and have reflected on it. it's good to really focus on growing individually from your past mistakes without anyone else helping, bc at the end of the day, the only one you can really depend on is urself <3. i kinda have two similar experience to yours, one i've moved on from, the other i'm still trying to move on from. the only thing i could say is that, you should continue on focusing on yourself, and maybe when you're ready i guess you can give your friendship with the guy a try, but you should remind urself to not go back to the same mistakes again :). ik that conflicting feeling where you wanna move on but you kinda miss the guy too HAHAHA but do what's best for you and i wish you the best in life love, mwa mwa <33

RISS; hihi!! so alex and i both skimmed through it and i can honestly just say i relate to this on a somewhat personal level. i get what you feel nonnie :c so like the least i could say is that it's good that you were aware of how toxic you might've been back then! you know yourself and you worked from it. however, i do think things would've been different if you had been direct from the get go - you shouldn't have repressed what you felt just because your friend seemed to like this dude as well. but since you've both already went pass through it, it's better to have new beginnings! get a fresh start. stay as friends bc trust me nothing is better than having a good friend by your side if all else fails C: we hope you're doing well!! stay strong bubs<33

#aleriss chatters #vent?#i will assume this is considered a vent #so #vent asks #anon

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gontagokuhara · 5 years

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you should tell us abt ur fangan kids!

ive been meaning to answer this but itz long so i wanted to put it under a cut!!

hibiki (he/they) is the ultimate demolitionist! i cant draw but his design and whole aesthetic is literally just. minecraft creepercore. they’re 4′10″, they wear full-eye black contacts bc Crepper Aesthetic, and he just. likes to blow shit up. he’s the rival in my group killing game and i love him SO much

yuri (he/him) is 100% my kinnie oc as the ultimate camp counselor. despite being very good at what he does (duh), he hates it. the responsibility of having to maintain the fun and safety of a bunch of kids is shaving years off his lifespan. and, amazingly for him, he immediately gets assigned Group Dad against his will during the killing game. he also carries at least four fanny packs at all times, each containing snacks and capri suns, first aid supplies, arts and craft supplies, and a fucking tazer (which he usually threatens to use against hibiki).

kimi (she/her) is the ultimate candy maker! her entire aesthetic is cotton candy, in which her hair is dyed blue and pink, she likes soft, puffy clothing, and she’s just a really sweet (ha) person in general! she gets along with most all of her classmates bar a few. she has lesbian disease also

miyah (she/her) is the ultimate witch, which sounds really cool, until she opens her mouth and you realize she’s the crystal-wielding, essential oil-drinking, anti vax queen you were warned about. she’s very sweet and very soft spoken, and genuinely tries to be kind to everyone, but she’s very much a you love her or hate her kind of personality.

koya (they/them) is the ultimate swashbuckler! swashbucklers are a hero archetype defined by flamboyant movement, sword-wielding, chivalry, and daring adventures. koya is a sea-faring spirit, and they fill their time in the killing game enthralling the others with stories of grandeur and convincing all of their classmates that they are a legit pirate. koya is a liar, they exaggerate…a lot, but their intentions are not malicious and their tales just come out a bit more romantic than they actually happened. they’re very charming and laid back, and they’re definitely the sort of heartthrob character that everyone wants to smooch.

chieko (they/them) is the ultimate girl gang leader, and they are also ultimate lesbian. they’re sort of isolated from the rest of the group due to their talent being considered scary, and their very intense and intimidating appearance and personality. they’re major concern is to escape the killing game and find their way back to their girls (they say as much, which makes everyone VERY suspicious!) but they wouldnt hurt anyone and they end up becoming best friends with yuri and masako (who i’ve lovingly dubbed the parent squad of this class)

speaking of masako (she/they), she is the ultimate investigative journalist, and this killing game’s trial helper! she is very well traveled, and takes what she does very seriously. they are completely and utterly devoted to the truth, good or bad, they will find the truth. they absolutely detest koya for this reason; even little lies absolutely grind masako’s gears. she also is very distrustful, and she doesn’t trust anyone at the onset of the killing game. it takes her a long time to warm up enough to the protag to share her findings during investigations, and she often comes across as somewhat of a rival during trials due to her critical nature and the way she very blatantly does not trust those around her. nevertheless, later on she is (against her will) forced into the Parent Squad with chieko and yuri, and though she doesn’t trust anyone else, she will do everything in her power to keep more killings from happening.

daichi (he/him) is the ultimate superhero, and he was the first dr oc i actually made!! he’s very much a pretty boy (fluffy blonde hair, pink eyes, freckles, he’s just Cute) and he and hibiki start dating during the killing game! he’s sort of a bastard and won’t give anyone a straight answer on what his superpowers actually are, but despite his kind, cheeky nature, he feels a deep sense of responsibility and guilt over not being able to do anything about the killing game. he is one of the more likely people to go snooping for the mastermind, and he’s gotten in physical fights more than once with people he deems suspicious.

hirohito (he/him) is the ultimate joggler and he’s the greatest character of all time. what is joggling, you ask? don’t worry, he’ll tell you. i came across this while looking for talent ideas, and i laughed so hard i cried when i conceptualized this fiend. he’s very much the token joke character, he’s a hot head, and he’s kind of a dick, but the idea of hope’s peak allowing the ultimate person who can juggle and jog at the same time into their doors is just too hilarious to pass up. protag joggler 4 life

speaking of people who are kind of dicks, meet yuuto (he/him), the ultimate dancer. he’s such a hot head. he hates the most of his classmates out of any other character, including the mastermind. he’s dating the protag, who is one of like…four people he actually likes in his class. yuuto takes his talent very seriously, and spends hours every day working to maintain his status as the best of the best. his talent comes before everything else (or, at least, it did), but if his talent comes first, then the people he cares about take up every other place on the list. he doesn’t tolerate many people, but those he does, he is fiercely loyal towards. he would kill and die for the people he cares about. he is 5′2″ of pure kickass, and he will throw everything he has into defending the people he loves. i lvoe him.

michiko (she/her) is the ultimate influencer (yeah. i know). she’s an internet personality who has followings on instagram, twitter, youtube, tiktok, et cetera. she is also one of my earlier oc designs, and i’m kind of attached to her lol. she’s very naturally magnetic and has a lot of friends among her classmates, but she does have a tendency to get hung up on things like follower counts, conventional beauty, and wealth. she has a huge (mutual!) crush on koya, she’s best friends with hibiki, and she has an intense fear of swimming pools (her hair is dyed, and chlorine is way bad for dyed hair)

leeanne (she/her) is the only non-japanese character, and i. she’s a mess. she’s the ultimate theatre kid, and she’s basically every broadway tumblr user when h*milton was super popular. she complains about musical bootlegs, becries her classmates for not knowing anything about the musicals she stans, and she’s just. lord. obviously she’s a joke character, and she’s honestly a caricature of the kind of shit i got up to (to a degree! don’t call me out sdkjdsjbd) when i was 15 years old. suffice to say, none of her classmates like her very much

tomoya (he/him) is the obligatory ultimate ???, and also our trial ruiner! he earns the distrust of his entire class by keeping his talent a secret and then having it revealed by masako, and as a result he is very outcasted and lonely among his peers. he’s a naturally very reserved person, and his situation lends him to feeling very lonely. most of the class suspect him to be the mastermind – whether they’re right or not, only time will tell.

katsumi (she/her) is 1/3 of what i’ve dubbed the Showbiz Squad as the ultimate pageant queen! she’s been participating in and winning beauty pageants since she was very young, and she’s won all the way up through the pageant ranks. as one would expect she’s very beautiful, and she’s also very bright and charismatic, which lends itself well to gaining allies in the killing game. she is by and large very fake, though, and she operates as a mini antagonist for various reasons.

hikaru (he/him) is another third of the Showbiz Squad, as the ultimate game show host! he’s very ostentatious and charismatic; he’s always ‘on,’ always playing the gracious, enthusiastic host. there’s always a smile and a flashy, charming quip in his mouth, so he can wear very gratingly on the less enthusiastic and personable kids. he definitely would be a tumblr sexyman if he were an actual dr character {sweating emoji]. despite the crowd he seems to gather wherever he goes, no one knows much about him; and he likes to keep it that way.

and finally, the last third of the Showbiz Squad, and also the protagonist: hachi (he/they), the ultimate child star! as their talent would indicate, hachi was a child star, and he absolutely detests the showbusiness world as a result. he really dislike pretty much…everyone who represents that part of his past (katsumi, hikaru, and michiko are prime examples) and his least favorite thing is getting the question: “omg where you in ___?” they’re very emotionally and physically fatigued by all the bullshit going on around them, so they come across as fairly apathetic to most people. but in actuality, hachi is someone who craves stability and kindness, and their extremely blunt, extremely annoyed exterior hides a very soft, compassionate interior. i absolutely adore this character :D

and umm thats it for my kids! i (for the most part?) have all of the killers/victims worked out, i have my mastermind all planned, but i’m still working on a setting/obligatory extra mono-creature/how this group falls within the dr canon. i love talking about these guys so if ur interest in them pwease send me asks/messages about them 🥺

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shazyloren · 5 years

Text

Little Lyanna

Summary: Jon is out of his mind with worry, trying to busy himself as his wife labours their baby into the world... They've been trying so long, and they had once thought it would not happen.

Notes: As you know, I am taking part in a challenge on tumblr by user 'JonerysFic' and 'MhysaOfDragons' in which for seven days from Valentines day I am uploading a new one shot. The prompts have been provided and the stories have all been written and I gotta say you're in for a lot of Jonerys content. So Day 7, the last day, 20th February, which is when I'm uploading this, the prompt I chose was 'Free Choice'. So I got thinking and decided to expand on my glorious reign series and give you the birth of their first child, Lyanna.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17864576

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Jon was going crazy.

Waiting for the arrival of his and Dany’s child had left him drinking with Tyrion in the hands quarter as a promise to Dany that he’d stay away while she laboured their baby. All of the dogs in King’s Landing were howling, due to the storm that had captured the city and by extension scared the inhabitants into staying inside. Lighting and rain, flashing and fierce. There had been four storms since he and Dany assumed the throne five years ago, but this had by far been the worse. Ironic that their child would also be known as Stormborn like it’s mother, but that also left deep rooted fear within Jon himself.

He wondered if she would survive, after all both of their mother’s had perished when giving birth to them, although Sam was dealing with her, the only person he trusted. But there was still this nagging feeling of fear within him that meant he was on edge and pacing the hands chambers all the while it was going on. He could stand on the Balcony and see their chambers from it, but he wouldn’t know what was happening.

They’d lost a babe already, after the first time they’d made love on the boat from dragonstone to White Harbour, Dany’s bleeding had not arrived. They didn’t count their chickens before they hatched, both of them knowing what happened to her last babe, but when her belly had began to swell with life they were joyous. Jon requested they not tell anyone, as only Missandei, Sam and themselves knew at that moment. But about ten weeks after the conception, Dany bled hard and the babe was lost.

She’d cried for weeks in private with him, they’d shared his chambers and it had been heart-wrenching to see her suffer. She put on a smile for the lords of Winterfell, and when they’d caught her crying she’d always played it off as the lose of her Dragon, which in a sense was also her child. So when her belly had become swollen once again six months ago, they’d been very joyous yet extremely cautious. Jon had not let her do anything, she was to relax for the first few months, must to her annoyance.

And now, she was in labour, a month early.

To make matters worse, Lord Baratheon and Lady Stark (Jon’s sister) had sprung upon them a surprise visit, which meant they too were in the hands chambers, drinking with him as the entertainment Tyrion had quickly thrown together for the visiting family got cut short. Daenerys was in the middle of giving a speech when she’d gushed on the floor and began to feel light headed.

She was early, and this was all the more reason Jon was worried. The chances of both of them surviving was very small, but he’d hoped that she had, they both had. If she was to go… Jon couldn’t even bare to think about it, he loved her so hopelessly that the even consideration that Daenerys Targaryen, his wife, his queen, would never see him again, would never look at him with those eyes, was completely consuming him

“Stop pacing, you idiot” Arya grumbled, fiddling with a knife, twisting it between her fingers. The Valyrian blade that Bran had bestowed upon her all those years ago, before he’s met his end… Jon shook his head and did as he was told. He may be the king, but when Ayra said to do something, he listened without question.

“It’s natural to be fearful, Your Grace” Tyrion countered, pouring red wine into his goblet and almost downing it instantly. “But I can assure you she’s in very good hands”

Jon knew she was, Sam had delivered several babies now including that of his sister, Sansa’s two children with her husband up in the north. He may be Lord of Horn Hill, but he also was their maester, and Jon trusted him more than anyone else besides Daenerys.

“Perhaps we can do something to take your mind off of everything, Your Grace?” Gendry offered. Nothing would take Jon’s mind off of it, he knew as such, but he took the bate and sat down at the table with the other three. “Are there any pressing issues that need resolving in the city?”

“We’ve been dealing with a speight of theft in flea bottom” Jon shrugs, reminding himself that flea bottom needs to be renamed as it wasn’t the hive of poverty it had once been in the era of the Lannisters rule. Jon and Dany had more than enough comforts here in the Red Keep that he’d make monthly donations of food and clothes that were worn by servants down to them and handed them out personally.

“Okay, let’s focus on that then”

It worked for maybe twenty minutes, until Jon swore he heard screaming all the way across the Red Keep. He knows he didn’t, it was more than likely his mind playing tricks on him, but still, it was enough to stop him from wanting to commit to the City’s issues and think about her instead.

He didn’t pray to the old gods, after all he’s seen in the world he doubted any god’s existence anymore, but he did pray to Sam’s ability that he’d keep her alive, both of them. He should’ve ignored Dany, stayed with her until the end, but it had been hours and she’d begged him to go until it was done. He wouldn’t if it was a case of not wanting to seem weak, or not wanting to see the birth, or perhaps if she did pass, she didn’t want him to see it in front of his eyes.

Whatever her reasons, it was a decision that was driving him crazy and fearful and almost alone.

“Sansa has birthed two children, both of which were successfully delivered by Sam, stop having a crisis you’ll look like you’re supposed to be celebrating your fiftieth name day” Arya was growing impatient and Jon did not blame her in the slightest, but had they known about the baby they lost, then perhaps she’d know why he was frightened for his Queen.

Sansa knew now, shortly after the war and her engagement and subsequent wedding to Gawen of House Glover, she’d come to Jon about bleeding heavily and unsure of anyone to turn too. She’d suffered a miscarriage and it had affected her mentally. Jon had offered comfort and told her the story of her and Dany losing one and from that moment, Sansa had dealt with the issue better.

“I’m her husband, she’s my Queen, let me worry” Jon sighs, thinking back to the times in which his worries were the living dead killing all of men-kind.

So much had changed and so much was still to change now that he and Daenerys were to become parents. The capital had been so happy at the news of their King and Queen welcoming a child soon, and thankfully, the other lords in the kingdom had too. Jon had struggled with it on some occasions. A child was something Jon had always wanted but never envisioned he would have when he was serving on the wall, but something that had come true and very shortly, he’d have to be a father.

Would he be a good one?

“Your Grace” Jon hears behind him and so he turns to note several guardsmen and Sam, the Maester and man he trusted amongst everyone else. He was covered in blood, as was to be expected after delivering a baby, but his appearance still filled him with dread.

“Is everything alright?” Tyrion is the first one to speak.

“Mother and babe are both alright” Sam nods and Jon almost wants to fall to his knees. The relief that over spills in his body is almost too much to handle. He doesn’t know whether to sit down, to run to Dany’s side, to kiss Sam even. “The Queen has lost a lot of blood however, so she needs to rest up for a few weeks, eat plenty and drink lots of water to get her up and running again” Sam takes a small pause. “It’s a girl”

Arya squeals piercingly into the air and yet Jon isn’t affected by it, he’s just shocked, his entire system falling apart as he imagines a small girl in his arms. A girl, a little daughter to call my own, our beautiful miracle, our beloved angel . Jon needs to see them both, he need to hold her in her arms and look at the beautiful life he and Dany created together.

“Can I seem them?” Jon ask, knowing that even if Sam said know he’d still go anyways. Sam just nods and that’s all Jon needs to start a quick pace towards his own bedchambers.

The halls are quiet when he leaves Tyrion’s chambers, only guardsmen with smiles on their faces as Jon feels glee and anticipation build in his chest. He follows the way to his chambers that he was so familiar with at this point, seeing servants cleaning and clearing stuff away, seeing cats up on the balcony, seeing the steps to their space. She was there, his little princess was waiting for him, and his queen too.

When he reached the door to his chambers, he was greeted by Missandei who was holding sheets covered in blood, she was smiling brightly when her eyes connected with Dany’s. Clearly happy both the Queen and the girl were okay. She gleefully grins before heading off in the direction Jon came from, leaving him to open the door.

The sound he was greeted with was like music to his eyes, a soft gurgling and a sweet song that melted away every fear in his body. He did not know the song, he thinks perhaps she made it up, but her voice is tunely and melodic and the happiness that was radiating from it was enough to send Jon wild. He sees them then, Dany, sat up in the bed with a small clothed babe in her arms. Jon, in an instant, is at her side.

“Stars above” Jon whispers as Dany kisses him on the cheek. “She’s absolutely perfect”

As he looked at her, he notices she has been born with a thick head full of hair, black hair like his own and a little bit all over the place. Her eyes however, magnificently violet and delightfully wild. Jon knows the babe can’t see them both yet, but she was content just being in her mother’s arm.

“I’m glad you’re here” Dany sighed, Jon knew she was tired. “She needs to hear her Father speak to her”

She passed him over and for what felt like hours, Jon just held her in his arms and looked at her. She was the most perfect creation that has ever been because of him. He loved her with every drop of blood in his veins, every breath in his lungs and ever word in his mouth. He whispered to her, promised her that he would protect her until his last breath, love her until he could not any longer and he even shed tears. He was sensitive in the moment but he did not care.

She was a dream.

“I want to call her Lyanna” He says out of nowhere, not having heard anything Dany had said, just cut off from it all as he stared at the perfect babe in his arms. “I think my mother deserves that” He stated. After everything his own mother went through, everything she and his real father gave up for him, and after wanting to know about her and finally finding out the truth, Jon felt sure that was the little babe in his arms name. “If that’s okay with you”

“Little Lyanna Targaryen” She sighs, sleep wanting to take his wife over. She was now laying down, hoping to get a moment of sleep. Jon did not mind, it meant he got to hold his babe for longer. Little Lyanna Targaryen, it was. “I like it, then if we have another one, we’ll call him Robb”

If we have another one, we’ll call him Robb.

Jon liked the idea, but they had everything they needed for now. Him, his queen and their beautiful Princess Lyanna. A life Jon never envisioned, but one he was grateful of nonetheless.

#jon snow #daenerys targaryen #jon x daenerys #jonerys #jonerysvalentine #mhysaofdragons #fanfic #game of thrones

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wintermutal · 5 years

Note

8, 11, 17, 20, 32, 36, 40!

8. Oldest WIP

now? probably the becoming, my obligatory gears reimagining tale. i started thinking about writing it in high school, but couldn’t settle on an exact version of gears to write. in college i’m still bothered by it, like it’s something i need to write but i just dont know how. i have a good plot set up now involving gears and mann in hong kong in the 80s that deals a lot with some mekhane cults and stuff, but it just….doesnt feel right yet. so that one’s like…..4 years old now lol

11. Books and/or authors who influenced you the most

amazingly- and this kind of sounds like it’s coming out of left field knowing the kind of stuff i read these days- gary pulsen. when i was in 6th grade i read a ton of his shit, and i remember a very specific moment where i was reading Winterdance. i remember one day, i loved what he had written for a scene so much i decided to go back and ‘figure out’ for myself how he made it feel so exciting using the words like that; it was the first time i ever closely examined someone’s actual writing technique. my 11 year old self observed that he used run on sentences in the areas where it got really exciting, and i started experimenting with it myself, and as you can see some eight years later…..i should have never done it. it’s now like, a hallmark of my writing style. if i would have never read that goddamn dog book we wouldnt be in this mess

as for more specific recent influences…..i stumbled across off-site access to a few obscure ancient ess see pee works over the winter. the story was…dazzling, and reawakened some of the awe and ‘fuck it, let’s write a wild ass story’ attitude i had when i was a newbie on the site. as of right now i keep them in a folder on my desktop for when i need to remind myself that nothing matters and its more fun not to care

17. What writing habits or rituals do you have?

i get awful writers’ cramp writing on paper. like, when i took my AP exams at the end of high school, i went out and bought an arthritic pen to write the essays with (it worked, and that pen is the most comfortable motherfucker ive ever used). i have no idea if i grip my pen/pencil too hard or if i fucked it up as a kid or what’s going on in there, but it means that i write almost everything on my laptop. this is unfortunate because i also do a lot of other things on my laptop, and my little gremlin brain gets distracted by them in .3 seconds. of course, once i get writing, i get writing and can go for hours, but it makes it hard to start.

this means that i have a separate writing program i keep up in full screen in another window 24/7. whenever i write, i go there. its great because it’s so fucking barren. look at this shit.

aside from that, i always find my voice a little easier if i read a page or two of something else before i start in on a session, even if it’s an old piece of my own shit or something. i dont always do it, because my writing schedule and mannerisms are chaotic as hell, but yeah.

20. How many WIPs and story ideas do you have?

oh my god……………so many………..im never going to get through them all……

i’m on a pattern where i randomly cling to a certain idea and spend months to a year on a huge piece for it before shitting it out onto the internet. the two biggest pieces that have come as a product of this are Major Tom and ess see pee-4231, taking me 8 months and a year, respectively. i write other things, too, obviously, but i usually end up unable to shake a few very choice ideas, and those are the ones that get the most blood, sweat, and tears put into them. usually they’re larger ideas with a big scope to work with.

32. Most difficult character to write

right now? i have a main character named rowan in a big original project i have going on, and i just….haven’t decided on the kind of person he is yet. i have a good chunk of his backstory worked out, but he also ends up getting regularly drugged with heavy horse tranquilizers and reshaping his entire childhood with a few main events warped to reveal possible traumas, so you know how it is. he’s obviously very unreliable as a narrator, but i’m not sure what kind of person he is to be an unreliable narrator. like, the horse tranquilizers definitely helped it along, but there’s also a lot of…wild shit going on in there. he might just be being unreliable out of cowardice, because hes fully aware and conscious of the role he played in several murders, including those of a few of his close friends and collaborators. so who knows

36. Last sentence you wrote

Well, the last three are sentence fragments. So backing up a little to the last paragraph:

“The tile in the deep dark was black, white, grey. The eternal floodlights on vaulted caverns cast scales of reds, electrical white florescence. The door was six inches thick; the hallway was not patrolled; the cameras obediently turned away; and just like that, with a mix of something teetering between greed and fear, the Foundation chose not to see the place of necessary evils in the deep dark of the mountain.

Director Eiler beat him. And beat him. And beat him.”

40. Share some backstory for one of your characters

kilroy fisher’s mom really wanted him to be a web developer, and kilroy was pretty eager to please her until a couple things happened:

1. when he was ten, he was enrolled in a foundation research program doing brain scans of young technopaths with hopes to create an AI system to repel their specific psychic influence. part of the test involved kilroy being exposed to a prototype of this AI, written in an extraordinarily complex unique coding language. how he was able to interact with it and how the code felt to him when he was around it was like nothing he had ever experienced before. he was fascinated. the AI was set to be used, at least at first, around the most secure Foundation databases. the heart of the AI was strongly implied to be centered in the databases themselves. he’d only seen the skin of it.

2. he read william gibson’s neuromancer, and very quickly became a cyberpunk technopath hacker kid, to his mother’s horror.

Kilroy ended up obsessed with this. like, absolutely off the shits, increasingly lost in the sauce as his teenaged years wore on. he quickly discovered that if technopaths work with this coding language for like, more than an hour in their unique psychic state- which is the most effective way to go about it due to the complexity of the code- it starts manifesting in bleeding from various areas of the head (ears, nose, teeth) and eventually leads to seizures and really intense migraines. this makes sense because like….its literally used as an anti-technopath code for anti-technopath interests, but kilroy, who at this point was severely depressed and bordering on suicidal, became addicted to working with it as a means of regular self harm.

Kilroy ended up writing a bootleg terminal program for the language, which would theoretically allow people to more easily work with the code and even eventually break into that all-important foundation defense AI that was now his sole reason to live. after a fight with his girlfriend resulted in her calling him ‘a fucking ruthless pig’ for being literally obsessed with it to the point of regular physical collapse, he deemed it RUTHLESS.exe and started going with the handle ‘Gip’ online, especially in circles where the program was in high demand for Criminal Actions™ and he was seen as a fucking godsend to working with this thing.

this eventually culminated in some attempted hacking of the actual AI itself, quickly followed by an intense hospitalization while he recovered and had surgery to remove the traumatic cataracts in both eyes, subsequently followed by being shipped off to containment. technopath containment is literally just….a setting with no technology. in his case, this meant that he has since lived alone in a specially built little house on a foundation-owned little farm in the middle of nowhere.

he gets visits from foundation agents twice a week that bring him food and supplies, because he’s not allowed off the premises. he takes care of his sheep (or at least like, the sheep the foundation has put him in charge of as part of his ‘rehabilitation’ or whatever). he’s bordering on suicidal again, and they put him on some heavy medication that leaves him feeling numb most of the time. he wears bifocals because of the permanent damage to his vision. he lives without electricity. he reads a lot. he reads and rereads neuromancer a lot, and after a few years of this he decides that he needs to reach a decision on the whole ‘suicide’ thing, because this is really getting ridiculous.

and that’s where the story finds him. i have no idea how im gonna write all that backstory coherently. im probably gonna binge read more william gibson stuff and pray.

A Writer’s Ask Game

#this is so long im so sorry #and this is only one of them nooooo #scp wiki writing #writing #asks #long post #vandal.txt #v1als #bm tale

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larissaloki · 6 years

Text

Abusive relationships,

Yes another one of these, ths my own personal experiences with a relationship that ended nearly two years ago. I’ve only just gotten the confidence too share as to this day, my son is still negatively affected by the aftermath.

Thankfully my relationship only lasted 2 months before i wised up and kicked his ass to the curb. These kinds of relationships can happen to anyone, not just women, so this post will hopefully serve as a warning for everyone on what to look out for.

Before i continue i will warn that content can be sensitive for some (obviously) but also mentions of a bdsm esk lifestyle. Not overly explitic but it’s still there. Also I am just writng out as it pops into my head so bare with my ramblings as this hard to get out.

To start off with, I am a single mum living in a flat and at the time i was working part time (18 hours a week a the time) with a 2 year old toddler and 22 years old. Despite having a son I was lonely a lot as a lot of friends stopped contacting me and my weekly dnd group was disbanded so my human interactions where limited and lets just say retail doesn’t equate to good human contact.

Fast forward because you don’t want to hear about my struggles wth dating as humourous it is. I met (lets call him D) D and as always, things see well- D was sweet and charmng and was seemingly ok with me having a toddler. Brillant! i thought i had hit gold with this guy.

This how abusers are, they make themselves seem to sweet and amazing that you become blind any faults. You know that saying “I’m not like those guys, not all guys are like that” D used these words when describng himself and in conversations. in my experience with him and a few other people, people that have used these sentences are often exactly like the ones they say they aren’t.

So far everything he’s done is present a pleasent package that sound and looks trustworthy and a nice guy. Making the bad traits come across as just mere off days. I was so blinded by the fact that he seemed to sweet and nice that i didn’t realise exactly what he was doin for a mere two months. thankfully talks at schools and thing’s I’ve read online and family members helped me clock onto his games.

ALWAYS LISTEN TO FAMILY! i say this because they noticed within weeks what he was doing and were trying to find ways to warn me. He seemed hesitant to meet my family after a month of dating which for my family is odd, as we are a pretty tight family more or less at the times. My mum met everyones partners quickly as we all visited each other a lot at the time.

when she did meet him a month into dating and was talking to him, D admitted that he would read my phone over my shoulder ALL.THE.TIME. This is not good, nothing i thought was private actually was. But his own phone was protected like it was the holy grail of all holy grails. I never actually asked to see his phone but it’s somethin i noticed after we broke up that he would always hide the screen from anyone in the room. He would try and create arguments over anything with my mu and sister when they were at my home while i was working, watching over my son. At this pont i wasn’t still comfortable enough for D to be along with my son.

When i then got home, my mum and sister would leave quickly unable to stand being in D’s presence. this made me think they simply just didn’t like him, so when it annoyed me, D would jump onto my rants and feed them. Make my anger at my mum and sister worse by telling white lies, basically fanning the flames. People, if your partner does this- take a step back and wonder why.

D was purposefully driving wedges between me and my family and later my best friend by complaining about each and trying to get me to join his point of view. Tryng to get me to view them as hinderences rather than support. Driving me to focus on him completely and not them. Do not let anyone destroy your family ties, especially ones with your closest family.

then theres the other little things, like comlaining how i wash my hair and which products i use saying i was damaging myself. everything i used was of good value and methods professional hairdressers adviced me to use. But apparently a guy who doesn’t even condition and had short balding hair had better knowledge then me. this is another form of control, trying to tell me how to do things. same with cooking, I’m not a bad cook i can make somegood meals but he insisted on cooking saying he’s amazing at cooking. He would often put in way to much garlic and onion making the meals he made full of to much flavour and would get upset when my poor 2 year old wouldn’t eat or I wouldnt. Even when i told him not to put so much he would snap saying he knew what he was doing.

Then theres the guilt tripping and telling me how to raise my child. A person who has no children was apparently more knowledgable than me who read articles and books and have a mother who’s had 4 kids herself. When out and about he would get annoyed when my 2 year old had a tantrum and play up.

saying that my son was being a disrespectful shit to me and would publically shame me for ignoring or trying to appease my son depending on what the tantrum was over. RED FLAG! A 2 year old cannot be disrespectful, my son struggles with speech to this day due to D demanding my son uses his words and not cries to display hs wants. D’s view was that kids should be perfectly articulate at 2 year old and understand all these adult social cue’s.

Then at bed times, D hated that i cuddled my son till he slept and that my son came intomy bed halfwa through the night for comfort reasons. So he demanded i changed the night routine to involve maths for my 2 year old and a story while my son was in bed then just walkout of the bedroom. leave my son alone regardle if he was upset, my heart broke at my sons cries as D scared my son back into bed and kept leaving him. Ignoring my concerns with this method saying it wht he read online and eventually my son will sleep. worst two weeks of my life until i broke the cycle as I just couldn’t allow it to continue.

i was fas growing afraid of D at this point. One night he flipped his shit as i turned over in bed declaring it was to hot to share the bed due to my memory foam topper and that he runs hot anyway. he threw his phone at the wall over it. Another time he yelled at me for not trying a certain stores jellybabies when i said. didn’t like jellybabies, saying that i was being stubborn as this stores jelly babies were delicious. i promised to try them later- when he was out i threw them away and just told him that yes they were ok.

He mocked the games i played and liked, i love final fantasy and rpg games a lot. i find them entertaining but he mocked them saying i should play more fighter interactve games. he made me play one that i just found dull and did not like at all.

After this he was also scaring me with his bsm ettiquette, anyone in bdsm know that you respected your partners limits and repected their safe word and what they tell you the are ok with and what they aren’t ok with. A few times he violated this. He liked to give pain and i liked mostly pleasure and rope play. A hard limit for me was belts- i was not ok with them at all, he used one one session and i had to safe word out quickly which he found fuckng funny. This is not ok. Another time we wanted to try a new pose with ropes and the position i was in was making me feel ill half way through beng tied, so i safe worded and asked me to get me out as i felt sick.

If your partner is in rope and feels unwell or safe words out- get them out fast! Cut the ropes if you need to you can always buy more ffs. But D didn’t, he sighed and slowly untied me. No matter how much i begged him to hurry up he went at his own slow ass pace. Do not do this as something someone once found enjoyable suddenly no longer is.

And lastly, do not snap at your sub if your rope plans dont go to plan. Do not make them feel bad if something doent work. I was snapped at when ties he was tryng for the first time weren’t working, nothing i could help.

towards the end he told my mum when they again where at mine alone that he would be moving in in 6 months time so she had best get usedto him being here. we had only been dating at this point for less than 2 months. I have a rule that i don’t move in with someone unles i’ve been with them for more than 2-3 years at the minimum.

8 MONTHS IS TO SOON.

the event that pretty much spelled the end for this? was my sons bday and D turned up after eveyone had gone which fair enough, lots of kids wasn’t his thing. I had some alcohol and energy drinks as well, he offere weed which i had had before unaware of him slipping me ectasy as well.

All of these things did not respond well to me, hours later in the next morning as i had this 9 pm the night before, by 10 am D left to go home and i was dealing with what i think was the come down. Badly. Ikept having panic attack and was not right for two days after. My heart kept going dangerous speeds that i had to call my mum and sister for help as D said he woudlnt come over as i wa just beng silly and that it would pass. I was worried for my son if something was to happen to me over it.

After this i talked to my mum and the truth was coming out in small bits. I stupidly was on the fence about what my mum was telling me as i was reliant on D’s affection and we i went to get a coil (birth control device) and D hated that i was going with my mum and that i had been talking to her.

He got defensive and was telling me i didnt need my mum in my life. His mum wa dead and he was doing well, so i didn’t need mine in hs eyes. This is maniplative as fuck and he was an asshole trying to use this. By thi point. Was wising up to his tactics and games with teh help of my mum exposing what he hadsaid to her and i dumped him.

He tried to then play around with getting his things back and tried to arrange it when i would be alone. Never meet an ex like this alone people i beg you, i got my mums bf to wait for him instead,and i prepacked his stuff so he couldnt possibly steal anything. When he saw my mums bf his aggressive pose he had at the door dropped away. He was suddenly polite and cordial and left with little fuss once received his things. Never meet an abusive ex alone.

After he left my life i found out he had gotten onto my computer that was a christmas gift and had wrecked it beyond usable it quickly broke and i lost everything on it. All my musc and pictures and works. My computer wa my escap and coping mechanism for depression and anxiety. Same as my music. Im still struggling in life around men due to this and my son is strugling to learn to speak still.

Please be careful and never cut out people from your life because a partner says so. Friends and family mean more than someone you just met.

#larissaloki #abusive relationships #life struggles

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