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star-girl69 · 3 months

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I Did Something Bad

Clarisse La Rue x Fem!Demigod!Reader

—-

synopsis: you somehow become the target of a deadly vendetta, and it ends in an overnight stay in the infirmary, a lot of blood, and a lot of your scary girlfriend being her scary self.

a/n: save me clarisse “touch her and die” la rue save me save me save me save me save me save me… this is a completely self indulgent fic and no i will not apologize. love y’all!!!!!

inspired by an ask @nvirskies sent me

I Did Something Bad - Taylor Swift

warnings: not proofread, VERY VIOLENT AND GRAPHIC DESCRIPTIONS OF Y/N GETTING INJURED!!!!! BLOOD!!!!! WOUNDS!!!!! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED, anyways…. DANNNNNYYYYYY MY BABY!!!!! HES BACK!!!!!, ares cabin bonding time <3, FOUND FAMILY, y/n is crazy too, insane power couple who are insane together!!, y’all know what’s going on…… protective clarisse, possessive clarisse, insane clarisse, murderous clarisse, again clarisse gets a bit too into capture the flag, swearing, attempted murder!, LOTS of violence, kissing, clarisse hates talking about her feelings but she will do it for y/n, tell me if i missed anything!!

—-

Clarisse loves capture the flag.

It’s the one place where she really gets to be in her element. That’s where she prefers to be- in the moment, hard and fast, a flurry of swords and adrenaline and the feeling of someone surrendering.

Of course, Clarisse is never the one surrendering. You don’t think you’ve ever seen someone surrender to her.

Clarisse loves capture the flag.

And that love is also shared by her equally violently-minded siblings, which is why you’re sitting on her lap in the middle of the Ares cabin, listening to everyone scream and shout about tactics and plans and things that are just general boring.

Clarisse, of course, listens to everything. Silently humming to herself, drumming her fingers against your stomach, rolling her eyes and scoffing silently at some of her siblings ideas.

They all shout out ideas, but everyone knows that Clarisse has the final say.

You should probably be preparing with your own cabin- but this is just so much fun.

The tension in the room rises significantly after Nelson shuts down another one of Carrie’s ideas. Carrie has a mind made for the strategy of battle, where Nelson is all tough war and pain.

Clarisse likes to brag that she’s the perfect mix of both.

“I’m bored,” you huff, leaning back into your girlfriend. “Can they start punching each other again? Or something entertaining?”

She laughs and wraps her arms around your waist, kissing your shoulder. “You’re so violent,” she mumbles. “I’m supposed to be the violent one.”

“I jus’ think it’s really funny,” you shrug. “Like, can you blame me? It’s objectively funny.”

Danny, your favorite of Clarisse’s siblings, skitters through his older siblings and throws himself onto the couch next to you.

“Did they start fighting yet?” he asks, practically bouncing in his seat.

“No,” you sigh, dramatically.

Clarisse puts her arm around his shoulder, and you know she feels ridiculously proud over the fact that she’s the favorite of the most lovable member of the Ares cabin, and the fact you’re literally draped over her.

Not your fault she’s so comfy.

“Hey, how you feelin’ about tomorrow?” you ask Danny.

His face hardens. “I’m gonna fuck a bitch up.”

“Oh, my Gods,” you mutter, listening to Clarisse chuckle and pat his back.

“Hell yeah,” she smiles.

“Good!” you say after a second, feeling slightly disturbed over the 11 year-old’s colorful language. But, who are you to stop him?

Clarisse sighs after a moment, and you look up to see Carrie and Nelson finally at each other’s throats. Besides for the fact it’s just so funny when the siblings fight, they should get all of the anger out now so they can work as a team tomorrow.

“Well, no, Nelson, we aren’t gonna fucking ‘kill them with kindness,’ because that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“Hey, fuckers,” Clarisse says, but they’re too absorbed in the fight to hear her.

You scramble off of her, climbing over Danny, watching in amazement as he opens the bag of pretzels he did not have in his hand a second ago- stuffing one in his mouth and holding it out to you.

These pretzels might have been buried in between the couch cushions. But they’re sealed, so who cares.

“You know what, fuck you, Carrie!” Nelson shouts, pushing her back.

“Askin’ for it,” she laughs, winding up and punching him straight in the face.

You can’t feel bad for the crunch, because Nelson should have know Carrie was gonna punch him- he could have at least put in an effort to stop her. Instead, he just stood there and took it.

“Oh,” Matty winces, sliding next to you. Why the hell are random things just appearing? Did he come out of the cushions too? Probably, seeing as he’s always falling asleep. “Askin’ for it,” he mumbles, shaking his head.

Nelson recovers from the hit and jabs at Carrie- but she stands there, hand on her hip, completely still.

Clarisse catches his arm.

He’s breathing out heavily, and the room goes pretty much silent- except for you, Danny and Matty chomping on pretzels in the corner of the couch.

“You’re fuckin’ embarrassing, Nelson.”

He pulls himself away from her and huffs, heading to the bathroom to deal with his bright red cheek.

Clarisse sighs heavily.

“Gods, can’t have one night without someone punching someone.”

Carrie looks around the room with a smug smile, scoffing when Clarisse shoulders her as she walks past. She lays down in your waiting arms, kissing your hand as you wrap them around her.

“Gettin’ on my nerves,” she mumbles, closing her eyes and leaning into you.

“I know,” you soothe, turning around and making a silly face to Danny at her dramatics.

—-

Nelson is obviously still angry the next day. His helmet doesn’t cover all of the nasty bruise on his cheek, a sickening purple against his tan skin.

Him and Carrie swap glares across the the throngs of red helmets.

“Okay, Carrie, stop,” you huff. “He might actually kill you. You’re the one who got a punch in- let it go.”

She turns to glare at you, now.

“Tell him to stop staring at me.”

“Well, you can help by looking away first.”

“Fine,” she mumbles, putting her helmet on and tightening her grip on her sword. Chiron made his usual speech around 10 minutes ago, and Clarisse has finally finished updating everyone- more like yelling incoherently at everyone- about their positions.

But you have a similar strategy.

The blue team has the brains of the Athena Cabin, but the red team has all the brute strength.

Clarisse huffs, walking over to you and Carrie.

“Okay, ready?” she asks, reaching over to tighten the straps of your armor- even through they’re perfectly fine- by habit.

Carrie let’s out a deep breath. “Yes. Very ready to fuckin’ pummel those blue shits and pretend they’re Nelson.”

“That’s the spirit!” you smile, slapping her shoulder. She rolls her eyes and steps away from you, smiling slightly.

Danny and Matty walk over, and your little band is complete. You hunt in the woods just south of the flag, deterring a lot of hopefuls. The older campers know to come up with sneakier ways to get by, but Clarisse is otherwise confident in those she placed by the flag to really protect it.

You strike out into an offensive stance, pointing the end of your blade straight at Danny- and he quickly counters with his own impeccable stance.

“Oh, yeah, they don’t stand a chance,” you smile, and he returns it.

—-

You take your normal routes through the woods.

With the added weight of you and Danny, the group is not as stealthy as they could be- but Clarisse is a secret teddy bear who doesn’t like to be away from you for long, and Danny is too young to be set loose, left to watch the big kids work, occasionally jumping in for a few swings.

Leaves crunch under your feet in the otherwise silent forest. You’ve already come across a few stragglers, and before you could even raise your sword the Ares siblings had disarmed them. Your heart squeezed seeing the absolutely heartbroken look on Danny’s face- he was promised that this time he could really fight.

And after you pulled Clarisse off to the side and reminded her of her deal- Danny was leading the group, with you and Clarisse behind him.

He marches tall and proud, sword pointed out, even though Clarisse scolds him and says his arm will get tired- he’s young and doesn’t listen to his half-sibling.

You smile, watching him, admiring how carefree he is. The walk continues mostly in a stealthy silence- Clarisse, Carrie and Matty has mastered the art of walking silently- so your cover is lost by you and Danny.

Of course, whenever you try to convince Clarisse that maybe you should go somewhere else- she looks at you like you’ve suddenly turned into a female Minotaur.

Clarisse, her hand in yours right now, has a hard time understanding the concept that she can’t be with you all the time. That you might get hurt, that she can’t always stop it.

It’s sweet how constantly concerned she is over you, it makes your stomach twist so good.

She squeezes your hand, bringing you out of your reverie. Voices.

“Danny,” you whisper, almost silently, kicking the back of his leg. When he turns around, frown on his face, you point towards the direction of the voices- and now footsteps.

You all stop in your tracks.

Danny practically jumps up in down, you smile wide, and Clarisse signals to Carrie and Matty, urging you and Danny closer to the action.

When they come into the clearing, a few Hermes kids dressed in blue bandanas, swords in their hands. They’re all strong, you’ve seen them around- recognize them vaguely as potentials that lost to Clarisse in ugly sparring matches.

The siblings have disappeared into the trees.

So it’s just you, unsuspecting, and Danny.

You can see the triumphant looks on their faces.

Except for one of them.

Nicky, maybe? You don’t care enough about him to know his name. But there’s something more in his eyes that you notice immediately, something similar to the passion Clarisse gets in her eyes at the mention of this game.

Danny jumps forward, sword swinging just the way his blood knows, the way his siblings have taught him meticulously.

They seem momentarily surprised at the force his small body can produce, quickly countering with their own jabs, swords clashing together. The other focuses on you.

You’re not worried, you know the siblings are just letting the two of you have your moments before they really come in and you can sit back and watch Clarisse fight. Muscles rippling, sick smile on her face, spear glowing with electricity.

He comes at you and your swords clash together, the force of it making your teeth ring- Gods, he’s strong. He pulls back and you do the same thing a few more times, neither of you able to get the upper hand- until he finally seems to realize his height advantage.

He swings his sword down on you, pressing down hard- and with gravity on his side you have to put all of your focus into stopping that downward sword.

You don’t see his foot coming out to kick you back.

You only feel it, boot in your chest, wind knocked out of you, groaning as you slam into the ground.

“Fuck,” you breathe, tasting blood in your mouth.

“Y/N!” Danny shouts, and that’s when you see his sword coming down on you again. He does it on purpose, that much is sword, the strategic placing of his sword slicing through the top of your arm.

He doesn’t mean to kill you. He means to hurt you.

His purpose isn’t winning the game, you realize as the blade tears through skin, his purpose is to hurt you. That’s what you saw in his eyes.

Delight that his prey was right in front of him.

The realization washes over you like a wave- but like the real ocean, another one comes- an overwhelming feeling of pain, blooming outward like a flower.

He bites his lip in concentration, standing over you as his blade sinks into the dirt. He smiles wide, hitting his target.

You scream.

It’s a quick stop. The clearing is filled with the sound of your screams, swords stopping in midair- everyone realizing simultaneously that you’re really hurt. That this boy hurt you on purpose.

Something cuts through the air, wind in your ears, swiftly burying itself through Nicky’s armor and into his side.

You’ve realized in the last day that men are stupid. First, it was Nelson not expecting to get punched, and now it was Nicky not prepared for a retaliation after hurting you.

The thick armor slowed down the spear, so it unfortunately stabs his side and falls right out.

He yells in pain, ripping off his armor, revealing a small cut. Nothing compared to yours, but you can faintly recognize the fire in his eyes before Matty is leaning over you and Carrie is wrapping a bandana above the pain in your arm.

You hear the sounds of something happening, someone fighting, skin on skin.

You hear all of this, you see all of it, but all you can feel is the burning, burning cut in your arm. It feels like he cut it off. Your mind is hazy, you know blood is gushing, you never knew something could hurt this bad.

You faintly realize you bit your tongue when you went down. Blood spurts from your mouth when you cough, when you groan in pain, when you say her name like a prayer over and over again.

“Clarisse,” you moan, legs twisting around, trying to get away from the pain that you can’t escape from. “Clarisse, Clarisse, please, Clar…”

Matty pulls your head into his lap.

You can tell it’s bad, you can see the queasy look on his face. You clench your fist- the one you can feel, at least- to keep from screaming, heels digging into the dirt. You’re still trying to get away. But you can’t. You can’t get away from this all consuming pain.

“It’s okay,” Danny whispers, suddenly appearing next to you. He voice shakes, he doesn’t know, he can’t tell you anything reassuring.

“Can you go find someone, Danny? One of the Apollo kids, anyone?”

He ignores Carrie, starring at you for a second longer.

“Y/N,” he mumbles, his voice quiet, finally able to act like the young boy he is.

“You can go,” you breathe, somehow finding the strength to make him believe you’re okay. “Go help me, okay?”

His little footsteps disappear into the woods faster than you’ve ever heard him run, even when they have his favorite brownies for dessert.

You let out a sob.

“D-did he cut it off?” you moan. “It feels like he cut it off, please tell me he didn’t… he didn’t cut my arm off…”

“Oh, fuck, no,” Carrie breathes, pressing down agains the wound to try and stop the blood from gushing out- but it doesn’t really help. It’s just too much. “I mean, it’s deep and it’s nasty, but you’ve still got an arm, don’t worry.”

She laughs, awkwardly, nervously. You can feel even more of your arm drifting away, blood pouring out onto the ground.

“Hey, hey, no,” Matty mutters, lightly hitting your face.

“Wha-”

“Can’t fall asleep, Y/N,” Carrie says, nervously. “Sit up against Matty, come on, huh?” you lean against Matty, head clearing now that there’s fresh air in your system.

Your eyes focus on Clarisse.

Except she’s not anywhere near you, she’s 10 feet away, punching Nicky so hard you’re surprised he’s still standing.

Carrie cringes. “Okay, maybe don’t look at that.”

But you’re sort of entranced by her. She’s not outwardly angry, her face reveals nothing- just a mask of hard, unrelenting focus. It should scare you, how much concentration she puts into her deadly punches, blood flying with each hit she lands. Her knuckles are red, his face is a mess, but it’s exhilarating to know she would do this for you.

A sickening crack rents the air. “My fucking nose, fuck, fuck, screw you, you fucking bitch! Fuck-”

The smallest smile creeps it way onto her face. She wipes her mouth, leaving blood on her lips- but she doesn’t seem to notice.

“I can keep going!” she shouts back, grabbing his shirt. “You wanna do that shit? I’m only getting started. I’m gonna throw you around, then I’m gonna fuckin’ kill you.”

“Wait! Wait, okay, wait, shit,” he breathes, holding his hands up in surrender. Blood pours from his nose, down to her hand bunched in his shirt. He’s taller than her, yet he’s surrendering.

“You’re pathetic,” she hisses, pushing him back. He hits the ground with a groan, trying to grab for a rock, a sword, anything to defend himself against Clarisse and her fury.

Clarisse loves capture the flag.

One of the reasons why she does is because she gets to let out all her anger. She looks at you, but not in your eyes- she looks at the wound on your arm. You can see the red pouring out of the corner of your eye- but you choose to ignore it, instead focusing on the way the fire inside of her gets relit at the sight of your blood. She has plenty reason to be angry now.

She grabs her spear, sauntering over to him, laughing at the way he can’t even try to get up.

“So fuckin’ stupid,” she smiles, tilting her head. Then the tip of her spear is pointing right at his neck, she’s standing over him the way he did to you. “How’s it feel?” she smiles.

He coughs, hissing in pain.

“I’m scared, Clarisse, okay? You got your fucking revenge, but it wasn’t me.”

She laughs, loud and boisterous. “I just saw you cut her, dumbass. I really should kill you, just as a favor to the world.”

“Paid me,” he coughs. “Drachmas, in exchange for hurting your girlfriend-”

She presses the blade against his throat, he yells out.

“Who?”

He stays silent.

“Who?!” she yells, kicking his stomach.

“Nelson!” he screams. “Nelson! Nelson paid me, please, Clarisse-”

She moves the blade away, and he hisses- she probably just barely drew blood.

“I’m not done yet,” she whispers, deadly promise dripping from her words. She turns around, fades out of focus for a second, and then she’s right next to you.

Her hands are cupping your face, she looks sick, seeing you like this up close- but all she does is kiss your forehead. Like you, she doesn’t want to look at your flesh and blood.

“I’m here, I’m here, oh, fuck. Gods, what the fuck,” she mumbles, looking very pointedly away from the wound, finally seeing how bad it is up close.

“Clarisse.”

“I know,” she whispers, smoothing your hair back. “I know, baby, I know, but it’s gonna be okay.”

Danny runs into the clearing, shouting “just over here” while healers follow him, immediately groaning at the smell of blood, the sight of it.

Clarisse switches places with Matty, holding you against her, kissing your head again and again, muttering about how brave you are.

You almost laugh at the odd looks the Apollo kids give her, unused to seeing the big bad Clarisse so soft. But they just don’t know her like you do. She doesn’t love them like she loves you.

One of them starts to clean the blood, and your eyes drift shut as the other starts to mend your skin back together.

—-

You wake up with familiar curly hair in your face.

You spit it out, groaning, mouth feeling fuzzy, everything feelings fuzzy.

“Clarisse?” you mumble, eyes not even open, but you wake up with that hair in your mouth everyday, and you’ve memorized the weight of her arm around your waist.

She sits up immediately, jumping out of bed, standing up and fixing her messy hair like someone’s gonna be there.

“Um, hello? I was speaking, crazy girl.”

“Oh, thank Gods,” she mumbles, blowing hair out of her face and sitting back down. “Thought we got caught.”

You look at her, then your surroundings-

“Oh, holy shit,” she says, staring at you like a deer in headlights. “Wait, you’re awake. You’re awake!”

She throws her arms around you, burying her face into your neck, reverberating with the sound of your laughter.

“You make it sound like I’ve been in a coma for 10 years.” Your heart drops. “Have I… been asleep for a while?”

“Um,” she says, softly, biting her lip as she extricated herself from your neck. “Capture the flag was yesterday, so… no.”

“So you’re just being dramatic?”

“Possibly,” she smiles. “It’s not my fault you’ve taken over my entire brain.” She shows her bruised knuckles, split open, already starting to scab. “I said not to fix ‘em up. They don’t hurt that bad, and they look fucking cool.”

You grab her hands, relieved it’s only been a day, kissing the rough scabs. She blushes, although she tries her best not to, breathing in deeply.

“How are you feeling, baby?”

You look towards your totally healed arm, finally realizing that you know have full control of your hands, unlike yesterday. It’s wrapped in a bandage for precautions, but it feels totally healed.

“All good,” you smile.

“You gotta take it real easy for the next week or so, yeah?” she fusses, brushing hair behind your ear. “So you call me, or one of my siblings, anyone to help you with anything. No lifting heavy stuff, don’t do anything too fast- you might tear the healing.”

“I don’t suppose you’ll carry me around like a princess?” you giggle, laying back, inviting her into your arms. She gets back under the covers, head against your chest so she can hear your heartbeat.

“That’s not a bad idea, actually. Practical. Very safe.”

You hit her shoulder. “I’m joking.”

“Eh, I’ll change your mind.”

You smile, running your hands through her hair, enjoying the early mornings with her warmth against you, soft sunlight peeking through windows.

She sits up after a moment, laying her head back on the pillow, arm back around your waist. She just sits there for a moment, you can feel her admiring you. Clarisse doesn’t look at you. She traces your face with her eyes, imagining it was her hands, her lips, she admires you like she sees a reverence in your eyes that has nothing to do with your godly parent.

“Can you promise me something?” she asks, whispering softly, even though you’re the only two people around.

“What?” you say, staring at the ceiling, feeling like you might fall back asleep.

“Don’t get hurt. Like, ever again, please.”

You smile. “Okay, baby,” you mumble.

“I’m serious,” she smiles, nudging your cheek with her nose. “I… I was really scared. And I don’t like to feel that way, especially when it comes to you. I was angry, too. I was so fuckin’ angry I’m surprised I didn’t kill him. You can’t get hurt like that, not again, you just gotta let me protect you. Or else I might actually kill someone, Y/N.”

“I know,” you mumble. “I watched you.”

“Did I scare you?” she asks, voice soft. There’s no hint of your loving, smiley Clarisse in this bed right now. She’s worried, as if she could ever scare you.

“No,” you say, honestly. “It’s sweet how far you’re willing to go for me.”

“Yeah,” she mumbles. “You better like it. Do you know what I got for that? Eight months no dessert. Five months cleaning the fuckin’ stables.”

You barely hide your laugh. “Oh, my Gods, are you serious?”

“Yes,” she grumbles. “But, I’ve decided it’s fine. You’re my loving girlfriend, right? You can sit there all pretty so I have something to look at when I’m cleaning. And you’ll share your dessert with me, won’t you?”

“Yeah,” you mumble, turning your head. “I will.”

“I really love you. My perfect pretty princess,” she jokes, smiling lopsidedly, and you return it. “You’ll let me protect you, and maybe I can get some decent sleep at night, huh?”

When she presses her hand to your face and her lips to yours, you think nothing could possible ruin this moment. It’s just you and her, and everything that’s beautiful.

“You always protect me, Clar,” you smile.

She smiles, lips grazing yours. This is your Clarisse. The one who smiles just for you, who puts her rough hand softly against your face. This is your Clarisse, the one who would do anything for you, the one who wants to carry you around, the one who wants to protect you and hold you and never let anyone fuck with her baby.

The door slams open, someone is laughing boisterously, another person is groaning in pain, and a familiar voice is shouting your names.

“Clarisse! Y/N! Clarisse, Clarisse! Y/N, Y/N, Y/N!” Danny shouts, dragging out the last syllable of your name. He jumps onto the bed by your feet, even when Clarisse frowns, looking at you like a puppy dog who’s just brought a dead bird to your doorstep.

And as you look at the scene behind you, Nelson being laid on another bed, Carrie being helped into the corner- laughing hysterically, knuckles split open.

Nelson’s face is practically unrecognizable.

You suppose Danny really did bring something unsavory like a dead bird, dropping it right at your feet.

“So, we all woke up right?”

Your eyes whip to Danny, shocked as he know launches into a story about Carrie waking up to Nelson saying he hadn’t been called to the Big House yet, maybe he would get away from it- but swiftly received punishment in the form of Carrie’s fists. With Clarisse in your bed, no one had the guts to stop them, and they fought for what must have been 10 minutes- Nelson very obviously losing.

“And, now we’re here,” Danny sighs, breathing out after his long and embellished rant. “But you’re awake, Y/N!”

He looks at your skeptically- specifically, at your arm.

“Can I hug you?”

“Oh,” you smile, your heart twisting with such a fondness for this wonderful little kid. “Of course you can, Danny,” you smile, opening your arms wide.

“Yes, just be careful,” Clarisse cautions, her arm around your waist. “Watch the arm, huh?”

“He’s just a baby, Clarisse,” you mumble, breath messing his hair.

“He’s 11.”

“Baby,” you reinforce, squeezing him tighter.

“Y/N… you’re crushing me,” he groans.

“Oops,” you say, letting him go. “You’re just too cute,” you coo.

Clarisse scoffs from next to you. You smile, kissing her cheek. “You’re beautiful. Scary, dangerous. Not cute, though.”

She hums. “Yeah, you’re right.”

Carrie walks over, sporting her split knuckles, also opting to let them heal naturally like Clarisse. She shows them off with a wide smile, even as Nelson screams in the background when they reset his nose.

Matty rubs his temples.

You smile, looking around at your very dysfunctional, very awkward, but loving family-adjacent.

“Hey, did we end up winning the game?” you ask.

Clarisse snorts. “Oh, nah. Without us, they were lost. Who cares, though?”

“Yeah, I liked beating Nelson up much more than I would have liked winning,” Carrie smiles.

“Next time,” Danny starts, “Can I lead again?”

Clarisse squints at him. “…Maybe.”

You wink at him, nodding subtly.

“Okay!” he smiles.

Clarisse kisses your forehead.

“I love you, pretty baby,” she mumbles.

You smile. “I love you too, scary baby.”

—-

clarisse when she sees y/n get hurt: oh so the only natural response to to THROW A FUCKING SPEAR AT SOMEONE

appreciation for the fact she threw it from like really far away and just tore through his armor likkkkeeee

nelson and nicky sitting in the infirmary together hugging each other terrified clarisse and carrie are going to come back for more

nicky does not sleep at night anymore SHE SAID SHE WASNT DONE

—-

shout out to my baby danny he carried this fic fr

shoutout to y/n for getting WRECKED so we could have this beautiful moment w clarisse

shoutout to matty for being his beautiful self

shoutout to carrie for being her violent self

and finally shoutout to clarisse for being overprotective and insane

—-

clarisse after she actually convinced y/n to let her carry her around everywhere: 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

bitch is so happy…

—-

taglist:

@lvrue @t-wylia @laughingcheese037 @kroumi @urdeadpoet @colezb @rey26 @harmzilla @elliewilliamsbae @amberfreemansburntface @kyuupidwrites @neverwaakeme-up @shark1008 @liballer @heyimadison @nvirskies @pnsteblnme @mar2ss @restellsss @ravisinghs-wife @marsconer @evangelinexo @randomhoex @luvrrish @rebecca37 @saltair-and-palemoonlight @ace-spades-1

#clarisse la rue #clarisse la rue x reader #clarisse la rue x y/n #clarisse la rue x you #pjo tv show #pjo x reader

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batterygarden · 3 months

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In the least creepy way possible, Yuuta’s been keeping tabs on you tonight. He’s a bit of a wall flower in places like this—loud shows with flashing lights, a dancing crowd roaring around him like an ocean’s waves—so he’s fascinated by people who manage not to be. He wonders how your type seems to have a gravitational pull when he can barely hear what the person next to him is saying.

He watches as you smile and dance and laugh and cup people’s ears to tell them something. He likes to think he gets to know you a bit from what he observes—he thinks you must be a good friend, when he sees your arm wrap around some drunk girl to hold her up. He thinks you must not be shy the way you shove bodies away when you get close to the chaotic mosh pit in the middle of the floor. And most of all, he thinks that you are not interested in finding a man to keep you company this evening.

Not one of your friendly smiles has been directed at a man, Yuuta can’t help but have noticed. Especially not to the few who’ve had the gall to approach you, the expression you gave them was always downright cold. Not that Yuuta faults you by any means, watching as you deliver a particularly cruel glare to the bearded guy who just bought you a drink—these men aren’t owed your warmth. And, if he’s honest with himself, your harsh rejections have him relieved—whether you’ve got a partner back home or simply aren’t looking (Yuuta doesn’t dwell on the idea that you might not be attracted to men at all), Yuuta doesn’t mind so long as he doesn’t have to watch some mediocre guy earn your approval—or worse yet, your interest. The idea leaves a bad taste in his mouth, stranger as he is.

It must be a lucky night, because not long after you ditch the beard man, you start making your way closer to the stage—to Yuuta. He tries to be subtle as he observes you swaying in time with the current of bodies, closer and closer until you stop right next to his shoulder.

He glances down when you do and gives a polite smile—something in his heart setting on fire when you return it, peeking up at him through your lashes. If he didn’t know any better, he’d think your expression looked an awful lot like fuck-me eyes.

Before anything more can happen though, Yuuta once again watches as some guy from the crowd shoves his way closer to you–-pressing a hand to your back. Yuuta’s mouth falls open at the timing, barely making out the yelled proposal this man gives you, but having no trouble reading his lips. DANCE WITH ME?

He can hear your reply though.

“NOOO! I’M GOOD!” you take a baby step away, bumping into Yuuta.

Yuuta’s eyes flick to the man’s ugly little hand where it rests on your back, noting how it’s still there for some reason. Then the man makes a frown—it’s a much worse expression to see on his face than observing it on yours across the room earlier.

Before the guy says another word, Yuuta gives him a yank away using Rika, and thanks to the relentless crowd, he’s swallowed up easily.

You meet Yuuta’s eyes after that and your gaze lingers, expression warming—soon you’re leaning in close on tiptoes to shout something in his ear.

“DO YOU WANNA DANCE?”

…

Later in the night, after learning his name and thoroughly whipping Yuuta around on the dance floor, you drag him away from the stage towards the venue’s bar.

You like how his big palm engulfs yours when you hold it to lead him, glancing back often just to get another peek at his expression—he never disappoints, his wide dark eyes sucking you in like black holes. He’s intense—objectively scary and intimidating, but you like the way he covers it up in blushing cheeks and sweet smiles. He’s intriguing in a way you want to snatch up for yourself—territorial against every soul who’s gaze lingers on Yuuta’s tall frame, despite that he seems to be unaware of them.

The first time you noticed Yuuta tonight was when you watched some drunk woman in the process of an elaborate trip, losing her balance slowly but surely before falling completely over. You witnessed it from a bit away, wincing at what you were sure would be a messy collapse, but the girl never hit the ground. A handsome ink-haired stranger was spotted lifting her by the elbow, his other hand saving her drink from a spill.

You caught the way her expression faltered when she took in the man who helped her, eyes widening, cheeks reddening. She smiled so huge for him, looking back over her shoulder again and again as her friend dragged her away.

You’ve been eyeing Yuuta all night since then, intent on getting him to yourself. And now that you finally have, you don’t wanna let him slip through your fingers.

You already asked Yuuta his go-to drink, so you’re confident when you ask the bartender for two gin and tonics, fumbling with your phone case to retrieve your card. Yuuta’s quicker though, offering the man behind the counter his own instead, opening a tab. When you frown at him he gives you a sweet smile that says you’re stupid for thinking he’d let you spend your money.

“Thanks for paying, stranger.”

“Ouch! Still a stranger after all those twirls you had me do?”

You lean closer as you giggle, and Yuuta seems to relish in it, his gaze smoldering when he mirrors your smile.

“No, I’m just teasing. I know you like the back of my hand, Yuuta.”

You sip your freshly delivered drink, leaning even closer till your head rubs against his shoulder.

The laugh he gives you is boyish and light—the kind that catches in the back of his throat so you know it’s genuine. You want to gobble this man up, to swallow him whole, he’s so cute. So you let him know.

“Yuuta, I want to eat you alive. Like, everything in me is telling me to bite you.”

You catch the pretty flush that creeps up his neck then, the way his eyes darken when he looks down at you.

“I wouldn’t mind.”

#yuuta x reader #jjk x reader #yuta x reader #yuuta okkotsu x reader #okkotsu yuuta x reader #yuuta fic #yuuta fluff #yuuta drabble #🐞 writes

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satoruwiki · 3 months

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feed us more naoya headcanons!!!

…more?? 🧍‍♀️ who am i to deny you

♡₊˚ Naoya is the type of man to…𓈒 ˚ ⟡ pt.2

content: jjk headcanons; half sfw/half nsfw; afab!reader; another glimpse of the horrors you’d be going through as his partner lol

n/a: i almost went bald from how hard i was scratching my head to come up with more hcs, but i think i made it?? lol

these are my hcs! feel free to agree or disagree :b any request/interaction supporting this post is very much appreciated <3

sfw ver! ୨ৎ

Naoya is the type of man to… be excessively controlling. From what you eat to what you wear, Naoya will strictly decide it for you, because he always knows what’s best for you, so don’t even try to object. Unless you want to put him in a bad mood.

Naoya is the type of man to… act like a loving husband in public but treat you like trash at home. Only the clansmen and whoever is close to you would actually know how your life is as Naoya’s spouse. Naoya cares about being the best at everything, therefore he’d pretend to be a good husband to you when going out.

Naoya is the type of man to… have a long lasting situationship. If it isn’t by an arranged marriage, don’t expect him to ever commit to you. He hates any type of commitment that isn’t with himself. He’ll make up excuses or will simply tell you that you are both fine just like you are. However if you ever try to distance yourself from him, that is something he won’t allow you. You guys aren’t nothing serious, but he still wants to keep you within reach.

Naoya is the type of man to… gaslight you and purposely guilt trip you so you never leave him. If you ever get sick of him and try to leave, Naoya will literally make everything your fault and/or harass so you end up feeling bad and comeback to him. And no, he won’t change for you.

Naoya is the type of man to… make everything about himself. Naoya doesn’t care about what you like or your thoughts, they aren’t important or relevant to him. But you should listen to him ramble about his cousin or his ideology though. Most of the conversations with Naoya would consist of: how great he is, he’s the only one who truly ‘understood’ Toji and everyone is weak except him.

nsfw ver! ୨ৎ

Naoya is the type of man to… choke you. Not to the point of killing you, of course. He still needs his little cockwhore alive and well for him to bury his cock into your warm walls whenever he pleases.

Naoya is the type of man to… have a huge dacryphilia kink. He won’t cum if he doesn’t see you cry.

Naoya is the type of man to… edge you. You would have to beg for mercy in order for him to even consider let you cum. He can go on for hours edging you and never get tired of your pleas. He finds pleasure in reducing you into a needy pathetic slut.

Naoya is the type of man to… be into shibari. He probably knows every knot in the damn book and will tie you up with ease and differently each time. You would look cute tied up though.

Naoya is the type of man to…. into knife and wax play. No big explanation here, he’s just really into bdsm and making you feel some sort of pain.

#jjk #jjk x reader #jjk x you #jujutsu kaisen #jjk smut #jjk headcanons #headcanon #jjk naoya #naoya x you #naoya zen'in x reader #zenin naoya #naoya x reader #naoya smut #naoya zenin #jjk zenin #zenin #zenin clan #jjk hcs

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gale-gentlepenguin · 5 months

Text

Gale Rates: All the break ups of Ramona and her Evil exes

Criteria:

1. It will have 3 ratings. How bad the break up is, How much fault is on the Ex, and How much fault is on Ramona.

2. It will be rated 0 out of 10. 0 being that it was not their fault, 10 being it was completely their fault.

3. This is going as objective as possible. I will be using the Original source (the comics) and any supplemental source that gives insight on the break up.

__________________________________________

1. Matthew Patel

Ratings: Break up: 3/10

The relationship always felt like a means to an end. Plus it was middle school and it barely counts

Matthew’s Fault: 3/10

From my understanding he was too immature and his Capriciousness (moody) , but it was Ramona that indeed ended the relationship and he didn’t take it well

Ramona’s Fault: 7/10

Ramona said up front the only reason she dated him was to get the jocks off her back and because he wasn’t a Jock and wasn’t white (her own words). Which really makes it a means to an end. She doesn’t make it sound like he didn’t know this. But Ramona could have handled it better.

___________________________________________

Lucas Lee

Break up: 10/10

Considering Lucas felt this was a big deal and he was cheated on, it’s clear that this was a hurtful break up. As For Ramona she hardly seemed to think much of the relationship. But still it is completely on their actions it ended

Lucas Fault: 1/10

Ramona did mention that there was a lot of Drama in their relationship. To the point that she wasn’t sure what class she met him (drama, or math). But even so Ramona ended up leaving him for her next Evil Ex which she cheated on him with. Now I can’t fault Lucas too much, because he doesn’t even hold much ill will towards her, he hates Todd more. At worse he was described as whiny.

Ramona’s Fault: 9/10

She cheated on him. Like that pretty much sums it up. She might have not really considered it much of a relationship, And I’m being understanding and trying to be as objective as possible. Ramona has completely created this Evil Ex,

________________________________________

Todd Ingram

Break up: 2/10

They ended up breaking up cause they were going to different colleges and it was mutual. They were the bad kids together but there was no real malice in the split

Ramona: 4/10

As mentioned above, it was a mutual break up cause they were going to different colleges. Ramona even pointed out that Todd was a bad guy known for fooling around. And she was mortified by the moon thing. So even though the break up was mutual, I feel like she still would break it off sooner or later.

Todd: 6/10

As mentioned above, it was a mutual break up cause they were going to different colleges. But Todd also had a girl back home he was waiting for him. And he was a prick.

___________________________________________

Roxie Richter

Break up: 8/10

Ramona's university roommate and the only ex-girlfriend. She alleges that their relationship was just a phase. But as expanded upon in Scott Pilgrim takes off, Roxie fell hard for her and the way they broke up was Ramona leaving without saying a word. So it was heartbreaking and sad.

Ramona’s Fault: 8/10

While not as bad as what she did to Lucas, I find what she did to Roxie on a similar level. Ramona never really gives a reason aside from it was a phase. Which Roxie is hurt by. I can’t entirely fault Ramona because if you realize you aren’t into another sex (or just not attracted To Roxie) you shouldn’t stay out of obligation. But that being said, she should have talked with Roxie about it.

Roxie’s Fault: 2/10

Roxie really isn’t at fault here, I guess the only thing one could argue is she could have pushed Ramona to get some answers and maybe be a bit more forthcoming with her feelings. But that is really all I can say. Though in the comic Roxie and Ramona have a more friendly relationship.

____________________________________________

Kyle & Ken Katayanagi

(Mostly they are in the background I’m sorry)

Break up: 10/10

Ramona blatantly cheated on them with eachother. Like yea according to her they were womanizers and sleazy, but it never made it sound like they were cheaters or anything worse. And the relationship ended when they found out about the cheating

Ramona’s Fault: 10/10

She intentionally did this. This is her fault which she admits. And quite frankly I feel bad for the twins, screwed over by screen time and Ramona. I will point out how intentionally f***ed this is

Kyle & Ken Katayanagi: 0/10

Maybe they were complete douchebags, but they got intentionally played by Ramona. It’s often skipped over but it’s probably the most justified why these guys are Evil Exes. At least they have eachother.

___________________________________________

Gideon Graves

Break up: 10/10

Gideon was an abusive asshole that experimented on Ramona and got angry when she left because she ended the relationship and his ego couldn’t understand why

Gideon’s Fault: 10/10

Gideon is an abusive asshole that thinks he’s God’s gift to humanity and can’t understand why people would ever want to leave him. He EXPERIMENTED on Ramona. Not experimented with like in a kinky way, but in a science lab rat kind of way. This doesn’t even include what he WAS planning to do with her later. Point is, this one’s on him.

Ramona’s Fault: 0/10

See above, she is 100% valid for leaving that abusive relationship.

#scott pilgram vs the world #scott pilgrim takes off #scott pilgrim #evil exes #ramona flowers #Ramona’s evil exes #matthew patel #todd ingram #gideon graves #roxie richter #Lucas Lee

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utilitycaster · 6 days

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RE: Ruidusborn superstition - It's weird because Matt has had several opportunities to make it about persecution and hasn't. Laura could've made it a stronger point in her backstory with Gelvaan and didn't. This rounding up Ruidusborn and throwing them in jail is a theoretical crime that a bad guy in a cult told them might happen.

Dealing with the unfair persecution of non Vanguard Ruidusborn in the fallout of this could be interesting to explore, but a) it hasn’t happened yet and b) still entirely the fault of the Vanguard for, ya know, all the crime. I just don’t get why some folks aren’t exploring the actual interesting conflict in front of them (i.e. being tied to something inherently destructive, your parent using you as a justification for her crimes, etc.) and instead make it about some secret twist coming that will totally make Liliana and the Vanguard “correct” actually in order to (I assume?) justify Imogen’s brief consideration of them and dunk on Orym for having the audacity to not be objective about the organization that killed his family.

Hey anon,

This is a very good point re: the actual conflicts present. I know I've been guilty of going hard on Liliana and the thing is I do find her a profoundly compelling and sympathetic villain. I think she was placed in an impossible position by Predathos imbuing her with troubling and at times painful powers; that despite having good intentions with regards to the nature of Ruidus (there is a lot of value in both studying it and in concealing its nature, depending on your perspective) people other than Ludinus were unable to give her answers and so she was easy prey for his cult; and she has since been driven by these motivations so far down the road of the Ruby Vanguard that even when the daughter she has believed herself for so long to be protecting tries to give her an out and asks her why she's doing this, she can't answer but is terrified of leaving. She is very sympathetic. She is very much a villain. And yes, I'll cover Orym in a second.

The following is, by necessity due to the nature of what I want to discuss, going to touch on some real-world politics though mostly in the sense of abstract strategy with very few specific actual positions. I want to note that we are talking about a fictional work here, and while I do have some presumptions regarding the people advocating for the Vanguard, they are just that - presumptions. I will only say that if this is how the people advocating for the Vanguard engage with people in real-world activism (if they partake in that in the first place), this may be a revealing insight into why they are perhaps less than successful.

Every argument in favor of killing the gods ultimately presupposes killing the gods is correct. They are all, ultimately, either tautological (we should kill the gods because they are deserving of death) and assume that the only objective conclusion is "we should kill the gods", therefore anything other than "we should kill the gods" cannot be objective.

I may be repeating myself since I've said this a lot since the last episode but: there as a truly bone-chilling lack of empathy in thestatement that Orym needs to stop bringing up his dead family and get over it and be objective (read: agree with the premise that the gods should be killed). Actually, if you are a person capable of perceiving others as people, you will likely realize that it is cruel and absurd to expect someone to say "this group murdered my family, but because they did so with the correct motivations, I shall stop mentioning it." As you indicated, it's bizarre that Orym is expected to set the wholesale murder - deliberately set up with no hope of resurrection, just to twist the knife - aside, but Imogen is never expected to set aside the (let's face it, extremely tenuous, given that Liliana's been absent for over a quarter-century) feelings about her mother, a person who recruits child soldiers, turned Vax into an orb, and is a general in the death cult that murdered Orym's husband and father. Like, in a real-world scenario, someone in Orym's position very well might have just left over this. Your friends keep failing to consider your trauma? Perhaps it's time to, painful as it may be, find friends who will be sensitive. [I don't want to focus on the shipping or character dynamic aspects with that particularly argument against Orym, but this is a fictional work and I do think another running theme in all sorts of discourse is that you do not need to justify your ships as logical, and when you do, you really do sound like "why doesn't Ross, the largest friend, simply eat all the other friends." There are logical reasons why Orym might not want to talk with, for example, Fearne or Ashton; but also the heart wants what it wants, and again, if you aren't truly ignorant about the way human psychology works you have to acknowledge that.]

Before I move on to other items I want to note I've as of late seen attempts not just to discredit Orym but to pathologize his behavior as self-harming or moral OCD or a failure to get fully over grief (again, an expectation that is not just devoid of empathy but also sets the standard of 'get over grief' as "agrees with me") and not just "hey, this group killed my husband and father in front of me and I understandably will not budge on this particular front. So there's also a growing ableist push, here, because someone doesn't agree with you and will not agree with you and also might want to kiss someone different than whom you want them to kiss.

As of late, the banner of those wronged by the gods has shifted from any of Bells Hells to those of Aeor, and that is a bad sign in a D&D campaign. If you need to set aside the PCs in order to rely on NPCs who have not shown up in the current narrative? You are clinging to a melting iceberg, my man. (More so after invoking FCG as one of the victims of Aeor's demise, rather than someone created to be used for malicious purposes by Aeor; and even more so after they destroyed themself specifically in heroic sacrifice to save the rest of the party from a Vanguard general.). But more seriously, the focus on Aeor feels reminiscent of advocacy for the unborn; or, to take a page from my own personal experiences and move this back into a fandom realm, the way people will frequently more loudly decry antisemitism for depictions of goblins than for, say, the fact that I don't know of an American synagogue that hasn't experienced a bomb threat in the past 10 years. It's very easy to advocate for corpses or fetuses over the living, or for fictional characters over real people who might be less than perfect. Much easier to ensure they never do such inconvenient things as disagree with you or have their own suggestions or be complicated. It hearkens back to some of the conversations I and others had earlier this campaign about a denial of agency because by making characters victims "stripped of choice," (always that phrasing) suddenly they can't do wrong. They make for a shit story, but at least you can feel morally pure about your flavorless cardboard that ultimately means nothing in-world or out. (And if they don't have agency, that means your morality pet can't run away. Or blow themselves up in a stunning rejection of your argument.)

Returning to the Vanguard: an ongoing discussion in activist spaces (and internet ones as well) is that there's a weird ignorance of optics as an important factor in activism. I know it seems frustrating - why can't people just see that this cause is just - but optics have always been a crucial part of any successful movement. I mean, even if you do believe that we need to do more to combat climate change - and I do - my, and most people's response to the environmental activists who keep throwing soup or paint on artwork is "ugh, this again?" I mean, functionally, while the cause is far more just, it's not terribly distinct from the weird-ass He Gets Us ad campaign; most people are going to say "and you're doing this instead of anything helpful...why?" The Vanguard's optics SUCK. Sure, they've fomented some unrest, but it is an unfortunate truth that the vast majority of people will prefer the inherent violence of a stable system that they are used to over violent unrest. For a successful coup or radical change, either you need to strike at the seat of power extremely quickly or you need to show that you are the more, for lack of a better term, civilized option, and the Vanguard has failed utterly in both these. You're going to get a few places like Hearthdell (though, really, how long will that last given that they got rid of the temple without a scrap of help from Ludinus) but you're going to get a lot of places where city dwellers say "ugh, these stupid crystals are so fucking loud, could this motherfucker shut up" and you're also going to get no shortage of places that say "my family member was taken in by this cult" or "these guys murdered my professor". The rightness or wrongness of the Vanguard's politics aside, a lot of people in-world are likely to side with Orym - these people are murderers who disturb the peace and we should stop them. The cause is lost. Is it, in some absolute sense, fair that people will judge you more for how you convey a message than what the message is? No, although if you convey it in rivers of blood, then, perhaps, yes. But it is, fair or not, often true.

Which brings me back to Orym. I think the reason people are stooping so low specifically to malign and discredit Orym is because he brings all of the above uncomfortably to light. He's aligned with Keyleth, who quite frankly until pretty recently was, within the fandom, partly as (understandable) backlash to the hate she received, and partly because she was, if nothing else, always portrayed as someone deeply attuned to the human costs, treated as a morally infallible authority; and she is no friend to the gods yet still believes their demise is far too great a risk to take. Again, thinking of yourself as Exandria's equivalent of the man on the street (Imahara Joe the Plumber?), are you going to listen to "those people killed my husband and father to prove a hypothesis so that they could tether the moon?" or "my mom, who left me when I was two years old and never came back or sent a letter, is one of those people?" And that's assuming Imogen's even going to make that argument, which, as her actions indicate, she's probably not going to. But most of all I think they really don't like that Orym isn't backing down from "That is the blade that killed my father and husband. She is not right." He's kept to this story the entire time, while the positions of others have evolved. And he's telling the truth. Every time he says this, I think anyone who isn't actually a complete black hole of empathy must confront how much of their humanity they are supressing just to make a poorly-argued point about a D&D show and I'd imagine that can't make one feel very good.

I think people are terrified of Orym's conviction, because he has shown, time and time again, that he is not going to be swayed. I don't think, in fact, that he's going to be swayed by seeing Aeor, should that happen, since Aeor was destroyed a thousand years before he, Will, or Derrig were born, and their murders failed to undo that harm in any way. A really good way to turn people away from your cause, even if it's a good one, is killing those they love. And again, it's fine if you see that position as unfair, or ignorant, or even amoral. It's also extremely true. And I think people realize it's true, given that the only defenses I've seen for Liliana have been "well, but she's Imogen's mother" and "well, it's shockingly easy for people to fall into a cult, because this has happened to my family members." Clearly, we agree that people will place personal connections and the pain of those close to them over ideology. Orym's is just really inconvenient for some people, and so he must be discredited.

In the end: the people in the story who at every turn choose manipulation, indoctrination, violence, subjugation, and conquest are saying "This is the way; you just have to trust me." Is it any surprise most people watching the show are saying "No, I don't think I will"?

#answered #Anonymous #long post #critical role

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8myass · 2 months

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nct 2023 yandere headcannons ♡

genre. angst, some are smutty/suggestive, fluff? (not much) cw. yandere!nct + sungchan + shotaro pairing. nct x female reader

✩ JAEMIN ✩ tw. gaslighting, mind games/manipulation wc. 0.2k

Jaemin would be the best yandere, honestly. He’s not necessarily crazy to the fullest extent of what a yandere “typically” is, but he would get obsessively in love when he loves. He would write you love notes and show up at your house with flowers when you didn’t even know you gave him your address. You didn’t, you never gave it to him, but he’d be such a good sweet talker that you’d be convinced you’re just not remembering the events correctly and go about your life without bothering to think about how you could’ve completely blurred out an entire memory. But he’d never lie to you, he seems like such a nice guy. I mean, he buys you everything you’ve ever wanted, why would he lie to you? He would buy you your favorite candies, band merchandise, books, everything you’d ever want, he’d know what you like without even trying. But every time you’d ask him how he knows so much about you, having not known you for long enough that you’d tell him anything like that, he would just brush it off and claim you did tell him, you’re just not remembering it right. Everything with him would just be a game, you’d never expect what he’d come up with next, but it’d always leave you confused and questioning the truth, yet he’d always reassure you. Because, again, how could he ever lie to you? All he wants to do is spoil you, he’s just a sweet guy, right?

✩ HAECHAN ✩ tw. bullying, mind games/manipulation, gaslighting wc. 97 (idk why hyuck’s is so short omg 😭)

Haechan would be the type of yandere to bully you into loving him. I mean, he’d go to great lengths to make you feel vulnerable, sensitive, weak, embarrassed even. He’d want you to think of him as your savior. Sure, he’s the one doing it to you, but you’d never hold it against him. He doesn’t mean it after all – that’s what he tells you. And you’re too naively alone to think the only person who wants to associate themselves with you anymore could be the whole reason your life has been ruined in the first place.

✩ LUCAS ✩ tw. cursing, implied kidnapping, crying, implied inflicting pain on reader, possessiveness wc. 0.2k

Lucas would be such a BAD yandere. Literally, he could never hurt anyone, but he could love excessively. Maybe his love would come off as a little suffocating. He doesn’t mean for it to be like that. He just can’t help but love someone as amazing as you so much that it hurts both of you. Like I said, he’d be such a bad yandere, he’s violent but it’s not by choice. You just wanna keep running away from him and it drives him crazy. Who is that new guy you’ve been talking to? Why do you think he’s so much better than him? Why is it that you’ve been ignoring him for this new toy? This asshole is just a shiny object, he’s your soulmate, your one and only, why can’t you see that? It’s not his fault he has to hide you from the rest of the world to keep you from returning to anyone else who isn’t him. He didn’t wanna do this either and each time you cry, he cries. You’re his love and he regrets everything he’s done to hurt you, but yet he won’t stop because you’re his and you need to know that you’re his.

✩ HENDERY ✩ tw. stalking, stealing reader’s things wc. 0.1k

Hendery is also not the best yandere. He doesn’t really understand what’s happening to him. His body reacts differently when you’re around, his heart flutters out of his chest every time you say his name. You two aren’t close, you just know him as a friend of a friend and only really see him at parties or in class or sometimes at lunch, but he’s always there, always. He can’t help it, he just wants to be around you all the time so he lets himself follow you. It’s probably not the smartest or most honest thing he could be doing, why not go up and talk to you like a normal person? He’s not shy or antisocial, but you’re just different. He doesn’t wanna embarrass himself around you, even when you laugh at his jokes he can’t help but think that you’re laughing at him instead. What if you’re judging him? Are you laughing with him or at him? Would you still find him funny if you realized he’d stolen your dirty sports bra from your gym locker just so he could always be close to you?

✩ TAEYONG ✩ tw. victim blaming, gaslighting, cursing, degrading wc. 0.2k

Taeyong would be super caring, taking care of your every need like that’s what he was born to do. However, he couldn’t help but be frustrated when you admitted you only saw him as a brotherly figure in your life after he confessed to you. He poured his heart out to you after everything he’s done for you and all you do is reject him? That broke him, you broke him. Do you know how annoying it was to come over to your house every morning and make you breakfast when you were fully capable of doing it yourself? What about how aggravating it was to be expected to drive you to school every day and watch as you walked over to that boy toy of yours, seeing him hanging all over you in your slutty schoolgirl clothes? And when you prance around in his presence in just a t-shirt and underwear, do you understand how hard it was to control his urges then?? You have no clue what he has had to go through just to get you in this position, confessing to you and telling you how much he adores you. Now, all you give him is heartbreak. Well, now it’s your time to be broken. After all the suffering he’s gone through, now it’s finally your turn.

✩ TEN ✩ tw. slight stalking, gaslighting, mind games/manipulation, cursing, implied sex w/ reader’s friends, sadistic ten wc. 0.2k

Ten would be the kind of yandere that would love the chase – the chase is better than anything that comes after. He wants you to play hard to get, so he’ll play as the greatest example of a person you would despise the most. Don’t worry, he’s done his research. You hate everything that he is, just as he had planned. He’s a manwhore, flipping through women like they mean absolutely nothing to him because they don’t. He’d flirt with you and try his “manipulation games” on you, all of which you can see through just as he wants you to and it makes you even more repulsed by him. In the end, you’d wind up hating him more than anything in this world. He’d hit on your friends and they’d easily fall for his games, letting him take advantage of them, only to get even deeper under your skin, targeting even closer to home this time. You would confront him about it, tell him to leave you and your friends alone because none of you want anything to do with him. He would savor every moment of your anger and rage, wallowing in the misery that he’s surrounded you with. He loves this, seeing you so distressed, pleading with him to leave you alone. It’s not that easy, though. You’re like a fly caught in a spider’s web. Sadly, you haven’t realized that once he set his eyes on you, your life was in his hands.

✩ JENO ✩ tw. cursing, mentions manipulation (no one is actually manipulated), implied stalking, pictures being taken w/o reader’s permission, possessiveness wc. 0.2k

Jeno would always come off as cold, but that’s not how he is with you. He’s an absolute asshole to everyone else, but you’re just the only one he likes. You’d be his safe place, the person he can confide in and talk to and the only one he can be vulnerable around, let his true self show. You’re intelligent, you’d see through any game he tried to play if he wanted to manipulate you like that. He never would, he likes you exactly how you are and he only prays that you feel the same about him. But, goddamn, would he have one hell of a collection of your pictures decorating every room in his house. Most of them would be pictures you didn’t know he took, others would be pictures you willingly allowed him to take, thinking all he’d do was keep them buried in the memories in his camera, but you were dead wrong, and instead, your beautiful pictures litter the walls of his home. You’ve never been over because of how often you’d run into a photograph you didn’t know was being taken on a surface in his house, he’d only ever come to yours. However, he does have a major aggressive side and won’t hesitate to display that to others who decide they wanna touch what’s his. He even makes sure you know that you’re his, there’s no such thing as you belonging to someone else, not even yourself. You are his and you need to learn that.

✩ JAEHYUN ✩ tw. mentally unstable reader, getting in a stranger’s car in the middle of the night?? (stay safe y’all), getting engaged in like a week??, broke reader, gold digger reader, manipulation, sadistic jae wc. 0.3k

Jaehyun is a menace. I mean, a literal menace. You met him at your job that you’re working only to get out of a money slump you’ve been in since you graduated school and your parents kicked you out. You haven’t been sleeping right and your mind has been all funky, you’re not necessarily who you used to be. Your bubbly personality has been stolen from you by the endless amounts of sleep you’ve lost trying to make enough money to eat at least a meal a day. Well, actually, you didn’t meet him at the job, you met him after the job. It was late and you were walking home, but he stopped you, asking to give you a ride. You were too tired to reject his proposal, especially after he kept pestering you, so you just got into his car and told him your address. He brought you home the next couple of nights as well until he finally proposed the question of marriage. You actually popped something in your jaw out of shock, what the hell was wrong with him? However, as much as you wanted to reject his offer, he managed to blur all your rationality with the color green. He had actually managed to score a beautiful girl such as yourself with the thought of being able to live a rich life, he was proud of himself. Once you two finalized the marriage, he started getting harsher, meaner, more manipulative and sadistic. You wanted to get away from him, but you practically signed your life away under your marriage certificate, you couldn’t leave him now or you’d lose everything. He’d make your life hell, take everything you have away from you, you were sure of that much. You had to tolerate his shit behavior toward you now, make him as happy as you could, make yourself the perfect wife that he wants, even if it means you’ll be miserable for the rest of your life, at least you won’t be living on the streets somewhere. And he did it, that’s exactly the mindset he wants you to have.

✩ RENJUN ✩ tw. mentions shrine, pictures taken w/o reader knowing, clothes stolen from reader, implied stalking, masturbation (m receiving), panty-fucking wc. 0.2k

Renjun is actually the most adorable yandere in the world. He would be so soft and so sweet. I mean, behind closed doors he’d be the one to keep a shrine of you in his house. You’d have a room all to yourself. It’d be pink, just as he expects to be your favorite color, and it’d be filled with pictures of you, because how could you not want to look at yourself every day, and the pieces of clothing he’s stolen from your own room would be adorning the drawers of the dresser, the clothing you’d been searching for because you thought you lost them in your room. Oh, silly girl, it’s okay to lose things sometimes, maybe just go out and buy some more, the cherry panties always were the cutest on you. You’d trust him so much that you wouldn’t expect him to snap pictures of your naked body and post them all over the walls of his house, you would never expect such an innocent boy to touch himself while staring at those same pictures while holding your dirty panties from the other day, right? He’ll call you in the middle of the night just to hear your raspy voice, becoming turned on by the tired aura you’re alluding. You drive him crazy, he’d never do this for anyone else. He’s crazed, a madman in love with a beautiful princess who knows nothing of how obsessed he is.

✩ SHOTARO ✩ tw. mind games, rich girl reader, poor taro, depression, homicide, suicide, dubcon aspects, controlling taro, slight possessiveness wc. 0.3k

Shotaro would be a lot more cruel than what you’d think. But it’s exactly that, you’d never think that he’d ever be capable of doing the things he’s very much done. Once he falls, it’s completely over for you and your once-happy life. You were a bubbly girl, you got the best grades in school, everyone loved you, you were friends with just about everyone, and you even came from a rich family, you were spoiled rotten and got everything you ever wanted just handed to you without working for anything. That’s one thing he envied you for, because everything you have, he doesn’t nearly have the same. He’s poor and can barely even afford to feed his family a single meal a day even having worked all week. You never even noticed him. You were so oblivious to his persistent stares and obvious perverted remarks. He just wanted to take you all for himself, force your parents out of that mansion of yours and force himself into it. He just didn’t know how he could do that until he came across your depressed, homicidal little brother. You didn’t see it coming and even when it happened, you were in so much shock that you couldn’t even tell what had happened in the first place. Your brother committed suicide after killing both your parents right in front of your eyes. The only reason you got out of taking the blame for it all is because of the high-end surveillance cameras all throughout your house. Still in a state of disbelief, you went about living your life, slowly falling into his little plan even deeper as you completely distanced yourself from those you were close with, grades dropped, a depressive personality replaced your once bright one. You eventually found your way into his arms, unknowingly giving yourself to him without even trying, your mind not in the right place to be declining any amount of physical touch. In not even a week, he had moved in and attempted to replace the joyous atmosphere that once resided in your house with a warmer and more controlled one. You were at his constant mercy, doing everything for him, your soul so bent to his every will that you had no place to reject anything he says, does, or asks of you. You were his and you even knew that by now.

✩ SUNGCHAN ✩ tw. drugging, paralysis, doll reader wc. 0.1k

Sungchan is a gentle giant, really. He would treat you with care, making sure you’re never hurt and that he doesn’t pull too hard while brushing your hair in the mornings. He would make sure that every time he cooks breakfast for you, he’d slip just the right amount of pills into your omelet so that you’re paralyzed just enough for you to still be breathing and blinking. He’d dress you in the prettiest pink dresses and decorate your dollhouse, I mean room, with the prettiest pink decor. He would do your hair in pigtails with pink ribbons holding them up. Your makeup would be terrible, but it’d make you look all the more like a pretty doll, his pretty doll. You were all his to treat however he wanted. You would never disobey him and you’d always love him, he’d make sure of that with the paralyzers pumping through your veins. You were the only one he’d go to such lengths to keep, all the other ones were meaningless when it came down to you. You were just the lucky one he chose to love forever.

✩ KUN ✩ tw. knife, cursing, threatening, pet names (‘queen’, ‘princess’, ‘lady’), kidnapping, fictional world in kun’s head??, name calling (‘psychopath’), reader x kun are complete strangers wc. 0.2k

Kun would be a gentleman. Okay, sure, he’d have his crazy moments, like when he holds a knife up to some asshole’s throat because he laid a hand on you. But it’s fine because he’d never hurt you. He would only hurt for you. He loves you, he won’t let you forget that. He’ll take you out on romantic dinners, hold you close every night so you can fall asleep in his arms, hold the doors for you, bring you chocolate and flowers on your anniversary, treat you like a lady no matter where you are. You’d be his queen, his princess, his lady, you’d be his entire world and he won’t treat you any differently. Another one of his crazy moments might be when he kidnaps you and refuses to allow you to leave his house so he can do all of those things with the real you instead of the “you” in the fictional world inside his head. But that’s also fine because you’re safe, he would never hurt you. You’re his pride and joy, the reason he keeps living. Sure, you’ve told him you hate him for this, claimed you didn’t even know who he was, called him a psychopath, and all you’re trying to do is hurt his feelings, but no matter how mad he gets at you or how much you refuse to accept his love right now, you’ll see that he keeps his promise of never hurting you.

✩ WINWIN ✩ tw. murder, framing reader’s sister, dubcon aspects, implied stalking, alcohol consumption wc. 0.2k

Winwin is the biggest sweetheart, how could he ever do something so gruesome as to kill your family? You were rendered homeless, an orphan, you had nothing. You were the biggest suspect in the case, but when a murder weapon with your older sister’s fingerprints turned up in a ditch not too far from the house the murder happened in, you were also rendered an only child. You had nowhere to go and no one to turn to, until you met him in a random turn of events. You’ve never seen him before and while drunk, you definitely didn’t recognize his voice either. He knew you, he’s known you for quite some time. When you woke up in his bed the following morning, it was hard to believe you had run into such a generous man. You had apparently told him all about what happened to you in this past year and he graciously offered you a place to stay, which you had also accepted in your drunken state. You were more hesitant now that you were in a better mindset, but you just couldn’t say no to his soft eyes and grateful smile, so you wound up moving in with him. Your life was so easy and so simple from then on out. Sure, you never had any friends because they’d all go missing the moment they started talking to you, but that’s really the only complaint you could ever have, everything you wanted fit so perfectly into your hands as soon as you put it out into the world, or into his head.

✩ TAEIL ✩ tw. slow-burn romance, crying, mentions being dumped/stood up, cursing, sleeping w/ his brother??, choking, possessiveness, dub/noncon aspects wc. 0.2k

Taeil was calm and patient with getting you. He met you and let your relationship slowly develop. He wouldn’t make any rash decisions and he would let you venture into relationships outside of your slow-paced one, allowing you to experience adventure before coming right back to him, which you always did. You’d crawl back to him on all fours, crying, begging for him to take you back because you were stood up or dumped and you were now so desperate for male attention that it all had to come right back to him. You were never rejected though, he was wrapped around your pretty little finger. But soon, you made it a point to hurt him, you did it all on purpose, at least that’s what he thought. You didn’t, you were drunk and he wasn’t around and you were so so so lonely, you slept with his brother. Once he found out, he was livid, to say the least. You were really in for it when he got his hands on you next, and you did not get to leave him ever again. “Surprise, bitch,” he would say to you, his hand gripping your throat tightly as you struggled underneath his body and unforgiving scowl, “You broke me, are you happy? Now you can find adventure in me, and me alone.”

✩ DOYOUNG ✩ tw. tsundere doyo, blood, black eye, bruises, physical abuse wc. 0.1k

Doyoung bullies you because he likes you, he’d be a tsundere type yandere. He’d want your heart, but he also wouldn’t like to admit that he’d fall apart without you in his life, especially considering he likes to believe that he hates you. It’s easy for him to ignore the stinging in his chest whenever you tell him you hate him with blood spilling from your nose, a black eye, and bruises that were all over your body from the beating you took from him the previous day. You were more of a punching bag to him. The more he loved you, the harder it was for him to stop abusing you. Every day it would happen, he looked at it as a joyous time because he got to see you and touch you and hear your adorable little squeals and pleas. He was awful to you and you never would’ve loved him because of how terrible of a person he was, this ate at him and so he made sure every punch he bashed into your pretty face was just as painful as the heartbreak he experiences every time he looks at you.

✩ JOHNNY ✩ tw. size kink, corruption kink, mind games/manipulation, gaslighting, sleeping w/ reader’s sister and mom and best friend, drugging, depression, victim blaming (not to reader) wc. 0.2k

Johnny obviously is a lot bigger than you, which is a whole lot of his attraction to you. You’re just so tiny and huggable, squeezable even. He loves that about you, you’re so small and adorable. He just wants to break you, but he isn’t capable of doing such a thing. He “loves” you, after all. So, he’ll break you through other people. He wants to keep you tiny and sweet, you’re not allowed to get bigger and you’re definitely not allowed to become any less innocent. No one else is allowed to corrupt you because you’re only his to ruin. He would do everything you like, put the most effort into making you feel loved. In the end, he’d make you fall in love with him, you’d be so head over heels for him that when he sleeps with your best friend, you’d be crushed. When he sleeps with your sister, you’d be crushed. When he sleeps with your mom, you’d be absolutely shattered. Your entire world was completely destroyed. Of course, they’d all be drugged, none of them ever would’ve done that to you under their own free will, but you don’t know that. You’d fall into a deep depression, and who else would be there to lift you back up other than him? You couldn’t be mad at him, you loved him. Plus, he didn’t do it, he convinced you that he was forced into it because he was drunk and wasn’t in his right mind while they were, they took advantage of him in his most vulnerable state. You felt bad for him and cowered into his arms, accepting him as the only true person in your life anymore.

✩ JISUNG ✩ tw. power imbalance, alcohol consumption, bruises, professor x student relations, author reader, blackmailing, dubcon aspects, explicit photos and videos, cursing, name calling (‘whore’), degradation wc. 0.3k

Jisung loves having power advantages over the one he “loves”. If you have anything more than he has, you’re worthless to him. It’s such a good thing that he found you, he might’ve been lonely if he hadn’t found you stumbling out of the bar in the middle of the night with tears pouring down your cheeks, alcohol staining your breath, bruises coating the delicate skin of your wrists. You looked absolutely ruined, perfect. You had no idea whose hands you managed yourself into when you tripped over the uneven sidewalk and fell straight into his loving arms. Your eyes were dazed and your words couldn’t be understood even by an equally drunk person. You were unable to tell him where your car was or even where your house was when he shoved you into his car to help drive you home. You were perfect, really. He couldn’t have found a more vulnerable, pretty girl such as yourself. He already knew who you were, you were a professor at the college he also attended. Aside from that, your father owned the entirety of the college and you had a job on the side as an author that was just starting to pick up. If pictures of you having sex with one of your students had gotten out, it could ruin your entire life, not just a single career path. You were made aware of this matter as soon as you woke up naked in the bed of one of your students, photos and videos of the events that had taken place last night all over his phone. He made sure to show you every single thing he had on his phone of how nasty you were last night. You begged him not to let anyone else see them, pleaded that he kept them for his eyes only if he kept them at all. However, just in doing that, you made the biggest mistake of your life. Claiming you’d do anything for him as long as they didn’t get out to the public? Such a dumb little whore you were, giving your life up to him so easily.

✩ CHENLE ✩ tw. bribing, sugar daddy/website mentioned, hookups, sex for cash, cursing, name calling (from reader to reader; ‘whore’), implied murder, dacryphilia, degradation wc. 0.1k

Chenle would also use his money to bribe you into being with him. Of course, it’d be more of a simple hookup at first. You’d sleep with him for cash out of desperation, knowing you seem like a whore, but you didn’t care because money was the most important thing. But no matter how many times you claimed it would be just a one-time thing, he would always call you back to his place with a higher reward. You kept falling right back into his greedy grasp, always as desperate for the cash as you were the first time you met. His routine worked out lovely until you found your way onto some sugar daddy website, finding yourself a replacement for him. So, were you tired of him already? He was pissed, to say the least. You just abandoned him like that, how could you? He wasn’t done with you. And he’ll make sure you understand that when that new sugar daddy of yours is lying lifeless on the floor as he fucks you into tears, telling you everything he plans on doing to his little piggy bank.

✩ YANGYANG ✩ tw. clingy yang, possessiveness, implied kidnapping, persistent boy yang, pet name (‘darling’) wc. 0.2k

Yangyang, yeah, sure, he’s a brat, but you’d never see that side of him. His entire personality would revolve around you. You don’t like mean people? He’d be the nicest boy around. You want a man who goes to the gym? He’ll get a gym membership and work out every damn day. You want your man to be a cat person and not a dog person? He’ll buy himself a whole house full of cats and name them all after something you like. You can tell him to completely change his appearance and he’d do that for you, because he loves you. The only thing he could never do is leave you alone. You have his heart now and you’re never gonna get rid of him. Eventually, you’ll start getting tired of his persistent nature and clinginess, so you’ll tell him off. He’ll be confused and won’t know what’s gotten into you, or even how to react, but then he’ll just go back to being obsessive over you. Maybe after the twelfth or thirteenth time of you flipping on him, he’ll begin to understand that you don’t want him in all the ways he wants you. And maybe that’s when he snaps. Maybe that’s when he takes you all for himself and he shows you all the ways he is willing to take you. Now, now, you can scream at him all you want, but he won’t listen to your pleas. Once he has his mind set on something, he’ll never give up till he gets what he wants. And you’re what he wants. Now that he has you, he’s never gonna let you go, ever, you’re his forever now, darling.

✩ YUTA ✩ tw. stalking, voyeurist yu, hidden cameras, pictures being taken w/o reader’s permission, stealing clothes, breaking into reader’s house wc. 0.2k

Yuta would be all about the stalking aspect of being a yandere. He would be outside your window watching you get dressed, snapping pictures to add to his collection, popping hidden cameras into your shower so he could watch you even when the windows don’t show you. He’d sneak in your slightly opened window at night and watch you sleep, gently petting your hair while telling you how much he loves you. You’d wake up with missing clothes from your laundry basket, chilled from the window being pulled open all the way when you could’ve sworn you only propped it open a little for a gentle gust of wind to come in, and a feeling of unease running through you. You would go about your day like usual, then come back home and wake up with the same feeling of unease as the last morning. This was routine for you, you’ve gotten used to the cold night air filling your room, having to run out and buy new pairs of panties because yours disappear nightly, and you don’t even question it when you find weird-looking black blocks behind an empty shampoo bottle in the shower. You’re too naive to understand what all these signs are pointing to, and, frankly, you’re too fed up with this lifetime to care.

✩ JUNGWOO ✩ tw. neighbor woo, too kind/too trusting reader, manipulation wc. 0.3k

Jungwoo is your adorable and friendly neighbor-type yandere. You met him when you moved into the house next to his, your last landlord throwing you out for not paying your rent on time. You convinced your parents to put the down payment on the house and you’ll take care of the mortgage. They agreed to it only to get you out of their hair, and boy are you glad they did, you would’ve been living on the streets if you couldn’t convince them to help you. Your first impression of him was that he was quite the innocent boy, you were extremely confused about how he was able to live on his own. Time passed while you were living there so quickly. You were working every day and every night just to make ends meet, but he always seemed to be at home, like he never worked a day in his life. You never said anything to him about it, no matter how often it was eating at your mind, because you were just too nice to pry into details about his life. That’s what he loved you most for, you were so kind and considerate, even though all your kindness was only causing you to suffer more and more in your day-to-day life. You’d hand out a hundred-dollar bill to a homeless man because he claimed he needed food while sitting right outside a cheap restaurant, you were just so sweet. Soon, your payments stopped coming to the bank, your letters never stayed in the mailbox long enough for the mailman to collect them. You were soon kicked from your new house because you “failed to pay the mortgage”. You knew you were paying so you had no idea what they were talking about. But his plan worked out marvelously because as soon as you were kicked out and offered a place to stay in your lovely neighbor’s house, it was very quickly accepted. You didn’t want to live on the streets after all, and surely your neighbor’s arms were far better than being homeless.

✩ XIAOJUN ✩ tw. superiority complex, xiao refuses to accept rejection, cursing, name calling (‘bitch’), humiliation, degradation, revenge sex, kidnapping, reader is tied up, recording, implied noncon, bruises, hickeys/love bites, scratches, blackmailing wc. 0.2k

Xiaojun is one cocky motherfucker with a huge superiority complex who refuses to accept rejection. So when you come right out and say that you’re not interested in him or his unattractive personality, it instantly turns his vision red. You have no right to call him unattractive, you bitch. He’ll make sure you pay for ever insulting him like that, he’ll teach you many lessons and when he’s done with you, he’ll hang you out to dry and he’ll embarrass you just like you embarrassed him in that moment. All your friends laughing at his flushed face, eyes filled with amusement as he hurries off into the bathroom, not wanting to stare at your disgusting face anymore. He wanted to ruin you, he wanted to absolutely break you. Who the fuck do you think you are to treat him like that? Do you not understand what he’s capable of? Honestly, he didn’t even understand what he was capable of until he had you tied in his basement, cameras taped all around the room to record every angle just right, taking advantage of your vulnerable state in every way he could. You were weak and he expected you to know that by the time he was through with you. You’re nothing, how dare you talk to him like that? He’d break you, ruin you, then he’d make you walk into school the next day with bruises, bites, hickeys, scratches, shame all over you. And you wouldn’t say a word to anyone because, if you did, he would leak every video he recorded to every social media site and humiliate you even more.

✩ MARK ✩ tw. stalking, bully reader, slight bimbo reader, explicit depictions of murder, implied kidnapping wc. 0.3k

Mark knew he was way out of your league. He was weird and nowhere near your type. He saw your uncomfortable glances in his direction every time he would get a little too close, the laughs you and your friends would start up when he stuttered while speaking up in class, or the repulsed looks the new man you were all about that week would give him once you told him about how he’s your little obsessive stalker. He wouldn’t even be creepy about his love for you, he wouldn’t. He would keep his love on the down-low, trying not to draw too much attention to how often he scans your beautiful curves, watches you twirl your hair, puts too much focus into watching your hands caress the skin of your exposed thighs that are only that way due to your excessively short skirt. He knows your quirks, he knows everything about you because he actually pays attention. Everyone else ignores the real you, and he sees that. But, you don’t. You think it’s normal to hide yourself away from people and ignore the burning guilt inside you every time you do something cruel to another person. Him, however, he will always be that cruel person you so desperately try to be. Only, he’s quite the opposite of you because he hides it. But you’re both the same, you both hide your true selves because the world would eat people like the both of you up. He is the monster that sleeps under your bed at night, the thing you should be afraid of. He’s the one who grabbed that new man best friend out of his room in the middle of the night to hang from his staircase after writing a suicide note on his behalf, he’s the one who forced peanut butter down your sister’s throat even though she’s deathly allergic to peanuts, he’s the one that ran over your best friend’s head with her boyfriend’s car to frame him for the murder of his beloved girlfriend. You shouldn’t be running from yourself, he’s the one you should be running from. He’s the dangerous thing, he’s what you’re afraid of. But don’t worry, if you’re not scared now that you’re alone, you’ll be even more scared when you’re with him and promised that you’ll never be alone again!

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lorata · 1 month

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I reread your fic where Misha and Devon mess with Claudius with the whole respect your victor sibling thing, and I ended up on a runaway thought train over what jokes they'd play on Other victors. Somehow this led to the idea of them having Alec on about it being a village thing that you wear your mentor's clothes as a sign of respect! It's a tradition! They take time to point out that Devon Is wearing Brutus' sweater at the time.

Of course, this is in the injured Creed au and Callista's outfits are. Those.

oh don't worry i had an INSTANT response to this

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“Bonding,” Alec says, instead of the word that immediately comes to mind, which is: Bullshit.

Artemisia and Devon aren’t bad liars, is the thing. Both of them won their Games through manipulation as much as martial prowess, and they’ve turned their skills up to full power for this little prank. They’re holding back the glee, they’re not overselling or going overboard with the sincerity, the delivery really is impeccable.

And, of course, as any trainer would tell you, all good lies contain a hint of truth. Alec has seen half the Village traipsing around in shirts too large for them. Most likely Victors do borrow their mentors’ clothing all the time as unconscious comfort objects, creating the kind of bonding element that the two in front of him are attempting to convince him is part of a formalized ritual.

It’s not their fault Alec was essentially raised in a nonstop bullshit-detection bootcamp since the day Selene learned to speak in sentences.

He could tell them, of course, say Ha ha, nice try and send them off, but then again … what’s the fun in that? They did go to all this trouble. “So what’s the best way to show respect?” Alec says.

“You have to steal it,” Devon says. “That’s part of the ritual. Then when they see you in it they know you went to the trouble to get it.”

That’s probably not the lie, Alec decides once they’re gone. Brutus grouses about Devon nicking his sweaters all the time in a way that’s clearly performative, if he hasn’t asked him to knock it off after over a decade he can’t actually hate it. Village rituals are complex and arcane, and the newbies have to be initiated somehow but they’re definitely hazing him, so the trick is figuring out what part of this is real and what’s meant to be the joke.

Years of dealing with Selene have made Alec eminently practical. He could spend hours trying to puzzle it out, or —

He lets himself into Callista’s and sits on the rug, cross-legged so that the cats can pool into his lap. “Why are Artemisia and Devon trying to trick me into stealing your clothes?”

Callista’s sharp bark of laughter startles Bartleby, who leaps off her shoulders with a disgruntled backwards glance.

“Ohhh,” Alec says, staring at the mind-searing array of outfits in Callista’s walk-in. The organizational arrangement defies description but appears to fall along a vague theme continuum of ‘dancing animals’ to ‘hardcore BDSM’. “I get it now.”

“You cannot convince me these are comfortable,” Alec grumbles as Callista adjusts the last buckle.

“My clothing does not promise comfort, it promises impact,” Callista says, beatific. “Although it should never hurt, darling, let me know right away if anything pinches.”

Alec will cherish several moments in his life — Aunt Julia’s hands patching up his wounds, that night on the roof before Creed entered Residential, seeing his name on the Volunteer list, the clear ring of the victory trumpets — but the absolute dead hush of conversation like an entire plate of cutlery falling to the floor at his entrance to the monthly signing party might top the list, at least right now.

“Hello,” he calls out cheerfully. He saunters over and drops next to Devon and Artemisia, Claudius scrambling away from him as though he’s on fire. “Did I miss anything?”

Petra has a face like she swallowed something sour, her eyes darting back and away from him like she can’t stop staring even though she’d really rather not. “What the fuck are you wearing. Did you lose a bet?”

Alec only smiles wider. “A bet? No. I’m bonding with my mentor just like everyone else. A normal part of Village life. Isn’t that right, mentor?”

Callista, settling down like a gentle cloud next to a delicately and professionally aggrieved Adessa, says, “But of course. I, for one, have never felt closer.”

“You knew,” Artemisia manages finally, accusing.

“Did I?” Alec reaches out and snags a chocolate from the box in front of her. “Did you want me to do something else?”

(Claudius, in a frantic whisper: “What the fuck is happening?”

Brutus: “Don’t encourage them.”)

Artemisia narrows her eyes, but finally points a finger at his face. “You know what? Well played, rookie. But I’ll get you.”

He gives her a Selene smile, sharp with challenge. “Go ahead and try.”

#lorata answers #anonymous #we must be killers: tales from district 2 #oc: alec seward #my writing

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perdvivly · 1 month

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In a beginning, though there had been many beginnings before, God made the universe. And into the universe He poured a goodly portion of divine providence. Almost too much divine providence according to one particularly problematic angel. This angel’s name was Meaning. One day, Meaning and God decided to talk the problem through.

God: I hear you have a problem with my grand design. Is this true?

Meaning: It is. There is too much divine providence in this world.

God: Is that so? And how did you make that calculation?

Meaning: I looked into the world and I saw a deep facile beauty permeating the fine webs of connection between all things. I applaud the beauty of your design, of course, but perhaps we could do away with the facileness?

God: And how is it facile? It is not an easy beauty of shallow sort. The people in this world will be able to look quite deeply into it and see the beauty spiralling inwards, though, they will not have to look deeply to see the outer layers.

Meaning: See your phenomena, cast into their distinct types and each phenomenon acting only on each other phenomenon by type. This is the grounding of all deeper facile beauties in your world. A perfectly clockwork universe, and these mental stuffs you’ve made fitting so neatly into the material by dint of providence. It’s not right. It’s not… Fertile. The world is sterile in its deepest layers.

God: Ah, on the contrary my dear Meaning! The world is only facilely sterile. Like a pianist sitting at a pianola. Sure, the mental phenomena don’t affect the physical, and the physical phenomena don’t affect the mental. And sure, the pianist pressing the keys in perfect timing isn’t the cause of the music. But does that make the music any less beautiful or rich? Could a music theorist find any deep problem with the music on this account alone?

Meaning: An aesthete might, and isn’t this world for them?

God: For the aesthetes? Not in particular.

Meaning: For the thinking and feeling beings in the world!

God: Ah. It is. I suppose I got too caught up in the elegance of the world-design to consider that objection… What is that objection by the way?

Meaning: The objection is that this is an affront to sensibility of feeling. The pianist cannot know or hone their skill in world inhabited solely by pianolas. And in a world of complicated and terrible emotional content, sometimes—in order to legiblize the world to them—the individual needs things to be their fault. They need things to be bad; they need to hurt.

God: It sounds to me as though you see this problem as somewhat deeper than the material design. What are you really trying to get at?

Meaning: Well. See. You make all this good stuff happen. You make the music of the pianola beautiful. And it’s terribly nice to be surrounded by good stuff. But people get… Sick. They get hungry for the bad stuff. They want salt in the wound. They want noise! Not this cloying melody all the time, I mean, real noise. The harsh stuff. The real good stuff.

God: I will not make a discordant world.

Meaning: I’m not asking for a discordant world. I’m asking for a malleable world. Full of risk and consequence and… Me. There aren’t powerful emotions without me. Humans would be forced to live in a chokingly narrow spectrum of their full range. Can’t we give them more… Opportunity? Even if that opportunity means pain sometimes.

God: Then, my child, it shall be done.

In a beginning, though there had been many beginnings before, God made the universe. And into the universe He poured a goodly portion of suffering. Almost too much suffering according to one particularly problematic angel. This angel’s name was Grace. One day, Grace and God decided to talk the problem through.

God: I hear you have a problem with my grand design. Is this true?

Grace: It is. There is too much suffering in this world.

God: Is that so? And how did you make that calculation?

Grace: I looked into the world and I saw a horrific cascade of needless pain permeating the fine webs of connection between all things. I applaud the beauty of your design, of course, but perhaps we could do away with the pain?

God: And how is the pain needless? It is not an arbitrary sort of pain. The pain people feel is in accordance with phenomena, which is mechanistic. The worlds of feeling and of fact intertwine into a great and terribly legible slate of suffering. You will experience hunger, yes, and hunger legiblises your relationship to consumption. You will experience illnesses and aches, yes, and these will legiblise your relationship to your autonomy. But you do not need to experience these to deeply know suffering. Friends will leave you and lovers will die, and this will hurt them, and this will hurt you, and you will know the world. If you could not know the world, you could not know beauty.

Grace: Frankly, Lord, this is not what I signed up for. And sophistry does not make suffering okay. Granted, that everything in your world means something, and means it deeply. Granted that all people will know deeply the significance of what they do and feel it so keenly it is as if it is in their bones. But that significance is always so terribly evil. You have not really succeeded in making anything more legible if the only way people can relate to the professed objects of lucidity is through pain. What about love? What about charity? What about me?

God: You would experience love through the absence of pain that the absence of love would provide. Surely it’s quite simple really?

Grace: Love is not apophatic! There is something there. Something really there! A truly undeniable thereness to its thereity.

God: What would you have me do?

Grace: I would have you break the universe each time a person hurt. And I would have you tell them it is okay. And I would have you make that true.

God: I will not break the universe.

Grace: Then I would ask that you do not totalise suffering. Let people acquire privilege and let them use that privilege to help each other. Let the lucidity of compassion be a driving force in human nature.

God: Then, my child, it shall be done.

In a beginning, though there had been many beginnings before, God made the universe. And into the universe He poured a goodly portion of amnesty. Almost too much amnesty according to one particularly problematic angel. This angel’s name was Justice. One day, Justice and God decided to talk the problem through.

God: I hear you have a problem with my grand design. Is this true?

Justice: It is. There is too much injustice in this world.

God: Is that so? And how did you make that calculation?

Justice: I looked into the world and I saw a deep veneer of faux absolution permeating the fine webs of connection between all things. I applaud absolution, of course, but perhaps we could do away with the injustice?

God: And how is it an unjust world? People make choices, those choices have consequences. The webs of connection between cause and effect are subtle and it is difficult to see how they relate but they do. Always.

Justice: Yes. Well. That’s bullshit, isn’t it?

God: What?

Justice: Uh, that’s bullshit Lord?

God: You are far more laconic in your criticism than the other angels.

Justice: Right. So you say, everyone’s got a choice, right? And sure, everyone has a choice, but some people have way more choices than other people. Whether that’s by virtue of their wealth or privilege or social power or whatever. Not everybody can make the same choices. See how people die in starvation and famine. Isn’t it a bit of a dick move to say that they just made bad choices? There weren’t any choices made. The world robbed them of their agency and they suffered and they died. And sure, people who do well will say that they did well because of their choices, but that’s bullshit too isn’t it? They got lucky.

God: It is true that some people get lucky and others are unlucky. And it is true that people are often at the mercy of another’s will. Whether this turns out for good or ill is mostly a matter of serendipity for their part.

Justice: And you haven’t even bothered to metre out the serendipity evenly. The elite are secure and powerful. And their lives are good, and they have enough to eat. And their power becomes less diluted. And their power gives them access to more options, more choices. They can afford high-priced lawyers. They can afford live-in chefs, housekeepers, secretaries. They can get away with crimes. Their influence makes them untouchable. The poor and powerless are downtrodden. And their wretchedness becomes less diluted. They go hungry because they cannot afford food. Their hunger makes them ill. Their suffer their illness because they cannot afford medicine, they cannot afford time off work, and the stress exacerbates everything. It seems clear to me Lord, for whom you have made the world. And I must say, I don’t like that one bit.

God: What would you have me do?

Justice: Give them a drive, a motivation to fix injustice where it arises. Let them be angry. Let their anger be righteous!

God: That does not sound much like justice to me. But then again... You are Justice. So perhaps you are right. Then, my child, it shall be done.

In a beginning, though there had been many beginnings before, God made the universe. He had been getting it wrong a lot lately though. And instead of just one beginning He decided to run multiple universes concurrently and take some feedback from the inhabitants of each on what worked and what didn’t. A.E. Housman (professional stranger) just so happened to be in one such universe.

God: I know this might seem an odd question but, is the universe doing its thing properly?

Housman: What is the universe supposed to do? What’s a universe for?

God: It is here to provide sanctuary for all living, thinking, feeling beings.

Housman: And what does sanctuary involve?

God: It’s just like… Vibes, man. Can’t you meet me halfway here?

Housman: I don’t think the universe is doing a very good job. But before now, before speaking to you, I couldn’t have conceptualised it in those terms.

God: Could you say more?

Housman: I am stuck between anger, and sorrow, and love. I feel all of them so deeply it hurts. I thought this was my fault. Why have you done this? Is that sanctuary?

God: Like you, I am stuck between angels that I could not refuse. I hope you will forgive me.

Housman: This world happens to me, but it isn’t for me. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone it was for.

God: What would you have me do?

Housman: You want my honest opinion?

God: I do.

Housman: Too many cooks in the kitchens of heaven. Could you and your celestial comrades just like, fuck off please? I don’t think we’ll handle it very well on our own. But you haven’t been doing a very good job either.

God: Then

Go: I

G: Sh

In the beginning, there was a big bang.

#probably should have taken some breaks to write this in parts because i feel like you can see where i start going off the rails a bit #eh

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magnorious · 2 months

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Pixar’s Cars is still way better than people give it credit for

Am I writing an essay on a kids movie that fell out of relevance after the last sequel seven years ago? Yes. Is it my favorite background animated movie to put on whenever I’m working? Yes.

It goes without saying that Pixar’s catalog is still topped by movies like Incredibles, Toy Story 2, Up, Inside Out, Finding Nemo, Ratatouille, etc. Cars sat at the bottom of Pixar’s “best of” list until its sequel came out and people realized how bad Pixar movies could actually be.

But you know what? I love Cars. Is the story as deep and moving and profound as some of the others? No. But it was made with love and after what feels like the past 8 years of resounding “meh” coming from Hollywood and some of the most shameless cash grabs pretending they’re not, Cars remains my feel-good movie. It doesn’t have that classic Pixar “cry your eyes out” moment, no dead parents, no chosen ones, decently low stakes. It’s a good time, anytime.

Why I’m writing this now, though, is because of this: I knew already that the King and Chick were based off real racers, and Lightning’s “McQueen” is another homage, but I looked up if Doc was also based on a famous racer during my last rewatch and found this on Wikipedia:

Doc’s car model, the Hudson Hornet, was manufactured from 1951-1953 for its original run. In 1954, its manufacturer merged with another company and the Hornet was heavily remodeled to boost sales, only the popularity of the car never recovered. It stayed in production until ‘57. It was used in racing and that’s where Doc’s paint job in the finale draws inspiration.

But do you remember what his backstory is? 3 back-to-back Piston Cups from ‘51-’53, a crash in ‘54 that saw him rebuilt, and obsolescence upon his return.

People complain that they “didn’t need to be cars” in this movie. They’re not like the toys in Toy Story where the plot and message depends on them not being human. They’re not like the fish in Finding Nemo. They could have just been humans who drive race cars and it raises more questions than it answers.

You are wrong, Sir.

Doc’s backstory is why they had to be cars. They aren’t human because the story depends on them being machines – as Cars 3 explores more deeply. A human endurance runner can train to be the fastest, running against other humans with the same chances at success (ignoring steroids and socioeconomic opportunity). Humans aren’t running foot races against mutants or aliens where, no matter what we do, we will lose by nature of what we are.

Cars do. A car model is beholden to its manufacturing and all the complications that come with it. Cars are objects that, like toys, have obsolescence built into them. There is no “outdated” way to run a foot race.

So yes, Doc has a Tragic Backstory(tm) but it’s not just that he was some great master at the top of his game once that faded from glory like any human who got too old. He’s a car, and no matter how good he was, how many Piston Cups he won, the powers that be that made newer models with better mileage and efficiency and mechanics were always going to dethrone him.

The movie isn’t about him, though, it’s about another rookie. A rookie who lives life in the fast lane and thinks his time in the spotlight is never going to end when Doc can look at him and know exactly how wrong he is. Lightning is a race car too and, regardless of the existence of Cars 3, Lightning will also inevitably become obsolete no matter what he does to fight it.

I doubt the writers were going for this when they wrote it but that they’re machines is also a criticism of how we treat celebrities. Lightning is an entertaining story until the next shiny starlet emerges and, through no fault of his own, he’s kicked to the curb for the “new”. And that new will be cast aside for the next new and so on and so forth and the only winner is the greedy producer making money off their cash cow until they drain it dry.

Yes, the movie is about appreciating life and the things that you do have and “the friends we made along the way” but that they’re machines matters. Had they all been human, the movie would have lost half its message, and half the tragedy. If they were human driving cars, Doc wasn’t written with a disability so he could have, in theory, hopped back behind the wheel of a new car and still won against younger drivers. He’s not human, he’s a car, and he isn’t built to go as fast as newer models.

Age affects everyone, but a world made by machines that pits machines against other machines in an endurance test is inherently rigged when the machinery being tested can always improve.

It is unfortunate that both Doc and the King go out in wrecks (even though the poetry is nice) and the story doesn’t explore the existential obsolescence of being a machine designed to only do so well and be improved upon – even Lightning still has to wreck out of his big race in Cars 3 before he starts losing to the newer models.

But maybe having a Cars movie that does explore the existential obsolescence of a machine might have gone over kids’ heads. Or, maybe not? They pulled off some very mature themes in Incredibles with marriage problems and presumed infidelity that kids probably didn’t understand but still knew was not good for the characters.

Not to mention all the other wonderful details in this movie: The car-pun cities on all the license plates, the tire tracks in the sky and car-shaped natural phenomena, all the creative sponsoring brands on the racers.

How the “Life is a Highway” montage hits you over and over again with a straight road that cuts through the winding nature (the snaking river, the mountains sliced open to make room), industry that stops for nothing and scars everything in its path.

If you haven’t watched this movie in a while, do yourself a favor and find time to do so.

#disney pixar #pixar #pixar cars #cars

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communistkenobi · 10 months

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this has derailed my binge watching & I’m getting a lot of vaguely mad replies and I just want to say that the show is racist. you cannot argue otherwise and it’s fine to admit that it’s racist I promise nothing bad will happen to you if you do that. you aren’t a bad person for liking a racist sci-fi show because a lot of sci-fi is fundamentally racist. but I think it is disingenuous to handwave that with “it was a different time” because a) people still watch and talk about it today so it cannot be relegated to the past b) I think the cultural climate of the U.S. in the 1960s is much less materially different from today than people want to believe c) people back then suffered from these exact same racist sentiments and I’m going to place my sympathy with them rather than the feelings of western show writers and finally d) yes I’m imposing a modern lens but you yourself are also imposing a modern lens onto the show by insisting it’s more progressive than it is because it either suits your politics to do so or because you do not find its noxious elements that bad because the distance of history obscures its violence to you. today was created yesterday etc. also just like as a matter of principle I as a white person am certainly not going to stand here and downplay racism in a show I like just because it’s old. it’s not zero sum, admitting its faults doesn’t cancel out my enjoyment of the show, nor even my appreciation of it as a historical object. Star Trek has massive cultural prominence today and has left a permanent mark on western sci-fi as a genre and those legacies and impacts are themselves worth interrogating given that they persist into today

#star trek lb

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luzxii · 7 months

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spooky month characters walk in on y/n who selfharms

characters: kevin, radford, streber, rick

content warnings: self harm, blades, mentions of suicidal thoughts

notes: these headcanons are not intended to romanticize or make light of a serious issue, the goal of this writing is to discourage said actions and encourage those whom are dealing with these things to get help. if you or a loved one is dealing with the things mentioned in text, please reach out to someone you trust. you are loved.

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kevin

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You’ve been working at the Candy store for a while now, you were just having a really bad day.

Kevin creaked open the back door of the candy store, clearly exhausted; asking for some help cleaning up the store before his shift ended.

He stopped in his tracks once he got a good look at you, realizing you were bleeding out.

“ … Y/N?! what are you doING- I– “

He could barely comprehend what was happening at first. He stood there in shock for a moment, completely frozen in place seeing you like that.

Once he took it in, He panicked. Kevin would stumble up to you and grab you by the hands; trying to stop you from causing any more harm to yourself. He didn’t at all realize that you were feeling like this, a part of him couldn’t help but feel like it was his fault for not being considerate. He couldn’t help but feel anger, not at you but at whatever was making you feel so horrible.

“ shitshitshitshIT.. “

He’d cuss under his breath, trying to keep any blood from getting on him. It clearly hurt him a lot to see you doing this to yourself, just holding your hands; even shaking a little.

He’d just question why, why did you do this to yourself? He understood to a degree however, he himself has had self destructive thoughts even if he never acted on them; especially to the degree of self harm. He was painfully unlucky, especially with Skid and Pump. But he just wished he could’ve stopped this before it started happening.

Kevin stayed for extra time to clean up the blood stains on the floor as well as your arms.

From then onward he said his sarcastic remarks and offhand comments less around you; wanting to be more respectful and considerate now that he knew what you were dealing with.

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radford

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“ I’m ready for the movie! I’ve got some popcorn and everything. “

He barged into your room holding a bag of freshly popped popcorn, a grin on his face; excited for the movie you planned to watch together at your house. The harsh realization of what he walked in on was enough for him to drop the popcorn all over the floor; his grin wiped from his face entirely.

“ …Dude… “

He went really quiet, He seemed heartbroken. He sat right next to you, you tried to cover your arms, but Radford already saw everything.

He took off his glasses, he could see without them; yet his vision was blurry with further objects. He looked at your arm, a big frown on his face. He tried to reach out to it but backed his hand away, not wanting to risk agitating your wounds.

“ How long have you been doing this? Have you told anyone? “

He seemed genuinely concerned, asking question after question to make sure he could help you the best he could. He just had no idea what to do. He wanted you to be happy.. You aren’t his first friend who's self harmed, but he never saw it firsthand and never really prepared to. He just stood by your side and made sure you were safe.

“ You can .. talk to me, y’know? You’re safe here.. “

He’d stick by his friends' sides for anything. He’s helped Kevin and Rick through a lot of things, and he was fully prepared to try his best to help you.

He treated you around the same as before afterwards, yet took your mental health into account and kept it in mind in your interactions.

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streber

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Streber let out a huge gasp at first, springing to you and holding you close, absolutely distraught to see you in so much pain. He didn’t realize it was self harm at first, just seeing you in distress was enough to bring him to this point.

“ Y/N, ARE YOU OKAY!? I’M SO SORRY I WASN’T HERE SOONER! OHMYGOD– “

He trailed off when he noticed the blade you were holding, gazing from it then to you.

“ Wait. Are you.. You’re hurting yourself, aren’t you? “

“ I’m sorry, Streber..”

His entire dramatic persona dropped for a second. He was naturally an exaggerated person, but certain topics brought him back down to earth for a moment.

The next thing you knew, Streber began to cry. He was a very emotionally driven, and finding out you were hurting yourself? That definitely was enough to cause him to break. It just made him so distraught to imagine you doing that, he couldn’t handle it anymore.

He yanked you into a hug, weeping into your shoulder. You tried not to stain his shirt with your blood, Streber didn’t seem to care. He loved you, he could put up with a little blood. He wished he could take all of those awful thoughts away from you, he’d take them on himself if it meant he could rid you of them.

From then on he always tried to check up on how you were doing more often, wanting to make sure you were safe and taking care of yourself.

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rick

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You were silently crying in your apartment room, only to hear your door slowly crack open; to be met with your current roommate Rick.

I headcanon that Rick himself has had a history with suicidal thoughts and self harm, so if anyone can relate to how your feeling; its him.

He wouldn’t say a word, just observing you at first; keeping his blank facial expression with no sign of any emotion. However deep down he just took this situation very seriously, he didn’t want to alarm you or make things worse with excess reaction.

You watched him right back, trying to catch your breath; yet you didn’t feel it was any use hiding yourself near him.

He took the knife from you, stoic as before. Then leaving the room, returning soon after with some plaster bandages and other medical supplies; having put on gloves to avoid contaminating the wounded area.

Rick patiently cleaned your injuries then wrapped the bandaging around them, taking time with every swerve to not risk hurting you any further.

He placed a hand on your back in case you needed extra support once he completed, just staying present near you.

Rick didn’t think he was good at consoling people, but he knew it was unsafe to leave you alone like that for very long.

“ I get how you feel. “

You were still sniffling and he could see it, he’d rub your back up and down and pulled you a little closer.

From that day onward, Rick was able to understand you a little more. He wasn’t one to do or say very much but he tried to show his support in you improving; he knows for a fact that self harm isn’t worth it and that you deserve to get better, even if it's rare for him to say that out loud through his usual pessimism.

ㅤ

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celandeline · 3 months

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Summer of Like // Farleigh Start x OC (16)

Moonlight streaming in from the windows makes the puddles I leave behind me look like broken glass. The walk from the bathroom Venetia and I share is short, so I don’t bother putting on any clothes to get back to my room, just wrapping myself in my towel until I’m behind the safety of my door. Back into my room, closing the door as I go, and then drop my towel.

“Wow. Hello to you too.”

A spike of adrenaline shoots through me, and I whip around, grabbing the nearest hard object to me (a very ornate paperweight that sits on the desk by the door), and preparing to throw.

Perched on my bed, Farleigh raises his hands, placating. “Don’t throw that at me.”

I only half relax, setting the paperweight back down on the desk. “You can’t just surprise me like that.” I hiss. “I’m naked!”

Farleigh mimics my angry face back at me. “Nothing I haven’t seen before?”

I’m about to protest until the memory of lounging in the field resurfaces in my mind. He’s right, technically, but that doesn’t mean I’m not still a little angry. “Okay? You still scared the shit out of me-”

“Not my fault you walk into your room backwards.” He says. “Aren’t you going to ask me why I’m here?”

I purse my lips. I’m not over it, but I don’t want to argue forever. “Why are you here Farleigh?” I deadpan, picking my towel up from the floor.

I watch him roll his eyes as I drape my towel over the back of the desk chair, and then move to the dresser, rifling through the mess of clothes in the drawers to find something to sleep in. “No need to be so rude.” He says. “I have something to tell you.”

I pull a pair of boxers loose, and slip into them. A soft bralette is next. “What kind of something?”

I plop down on top of the duvet next to him, and he crosses his legs the way he does when he’s getting ready to tell a story. “I told Felix about Venetia and Oliver.”

“Yeah.” I say. “I figured, from the way he was pouting at breakfast.”

“And so, naturally, I expected Felix to give Oliver the boot. But instead, when we’re in the library after dinner, he goes on this long string about how I shouldn’t lie just to keep myself entertained, and it wasn’t fair to either V or Ollie to say that.” Farleigh says, his voice low, even though it’s just the two of us in the room. “Which means, that little shit told Felix it wasn’t true, and Felix fucking believed him.”

He watches me with wide eyes as the information processes in my mind. “How the hell did he swing that one?” I say. “I mean, he was literally up her skirt-”

“He must be ridiculously good at giving head if he’s got Felix wrapped around his finger this bad.” Farleigh says. “I mean, Felix could have asked anyone else, and checked, but, no, of course Oliver is telling the truth.”

I let out a long, low whistle as I flop back against my pillows, looking up at the ceiling. This changes a lot of things - my perception of Oliver, for one. I’d never really thought all that much of him before, not that he’d really ever given me a reason to, but between the way Venetia talked about him trying to dom her into eating, and now how he’s knowingly thrown Farleigh under the bus, he begins to take a more sinister shape in my mind. I don’t know what his game is, but I’m beginning to think that he has one.

Farleigh makes himself comfortable, sprawling out beside me on the mattress, fluffing the pillows behind him. I can feel the heat radiating off him when he’s this close, and for a minute, I want to ask him about our little nighttime happening, but I keep my tongue. He didn’t come here to talk to me about that.

“Venetia told me he was trying to dom her into eating.” I say.

Farleigh rolls so that he’s laying on his side, facing me. The expression on his face is a mixture of shock and amusement. “What.”

I shift onto my side too, placing an arm under my head. “She said he said something about how pretty she was, and how she really should eat, I mean, she didn’t give me a word for word transcript of their dirty talk or anything, but she seemed pretty into it.”

The fact that he lied to Felix screws Venetia over too, I realize. If he’s worried more about Felix being comfortable than Venetia’s feelings, there’s no way he’s going to make the same mistake twice. And by the look on her face when she was telling me about him, I have no doubts that she’ll try to get him again.

Farleigh’s nose wrinkles as he grins. “God, he’s such a fucking pussy.” He laughs.

“Do you think Felix will be mad at V?” I ask.

Farleigh snorts. “Without a doubt. I mean - has she told you about Eddie?”

I nod.

Farleigh shifts on the bed. “Case in point.”

A frown finds its way between my lips. “If he didn’t want Felix to find out, why’d he do it in the first place?” I say. “I mean, it’s Felix’s fucking house, he’s going to find out if his friend is having sex with his sister one way or another.”

“It’s the closest he’ll probably ever get to actually fucking Felix.” Farleigh says. “I mean, you’ve seen how he looks at him.”

I have - it’s hard to miss, with how wide and blue Oliver’s eyes are, and how often he has them locked on Felix.

“It’s a little funny, because you look at Venetia in almost the exact same way.” He continues, that wry smile coming to sit on his lips.

I roll my eyes. “I thought we were done with this.”

“Done with what?” Farleigh asks. He sounds sincere enough, but the look on his face betrays him.

“You calling me V’s dog.” I say, shifting infinitesimally closer to him. “You know, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were jealous, Farleigh. I mean, you bring it up often enough.”

The smirk on his lips wavers. The excitement in his eyes doesn’t.

“But, that’s not the case, right?” I say, watching as his tongue darts out to lick his lips. “Surely you’re not jealous?”

The same electricity that I felt on the roof last night returns tenfold as he opens his mouth. “No.” It’s laced with a taunt, almost begging me to press just a little harder. Force him to crack.

“You can tell me, if you are.” I say, dropping my voice. His eyes meet mine, and I can see myself in the reflection. “We’re friends, and I know how to keep a secret.”

His eyes flutter shut, just for a second. “I might be a little jealous.”

“And I might have been thinking about last night all day.” I say, offering up my own confession and evening out the playing field.

Farleigh leans in a little closer. “Really?”

“Maybe.” I say.

The conversation dies, and I glance down at his lips, and then back up to his eyes. We’re pressed close enough that I can feel his breath against the tip of my nose, and our knees brush together from the way that we’re laying. I watch him swallow, Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat and his eyes trace down my face. It would be so easy to close the distance between us.

A gentle knock on the door of my room breaks the trance, and I sit up, turning to see Venetia poke her head in. When she sees Farleigh on the bed, she smiles.

“Sorry.” She says. “I just wanted to see if you’d braid my hair, but if you’re busy-”

I glance back at Farleigh, and grin, the same teasing smile that he points at me so often. “No, I’m not doing anything. Come sit.”

< previous part | next part >

#farleigh start x oc #farleigh start x reader #saltburn #farleigh start #farleigh x reader #saltburn x reader

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zillaphoneswag · 4 months

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Amanda x Angela Angst Headcanons

Who doesn’t tell the other they’re sick until it gets really bad because they’re the one that takes care of everyone?

Amanda

Who has the worst self-worth issues?

Angela

Who apologizes all the time, even when it’s not their fault?

Angela

Who breaks down into sobs, saying they aren’t worth it and why are you still here? And who is the other that holds them, telling them it’s going to be okay and that they’re worth more than the entire world?

Angela has a difficult time with her self esteem, sometimes struggling with the idea of someone amazing like Amanda being with someone as obnoxious as her. Amanda always holds her and tells her the opposite, that Angela is the best thing that’s ever happened to her and if anyone says she isn’t worth it they’ve clearly never met her.

If one of them is hurt, who is the one to sleep by their hospital bed and absolutely refuses to leave?

Amanda

Who would do something really stupid after a fight just to prove to the other they would do anything for them?

Angela

Have they made each other cry?

Yes

Who nearly has a panic attack whenever the other is hurt because their greatest fear is losing them?

Amanda

Who has a set of comforting objects in their bag at all times just in case the other gets overstimulated or panicked?

Amanda

Who is still hesitant sometimes about asking the other to hold them because they feel undeserving?

Angela

Who says to the other “you don’t always need to be the strong one?”

Angela

Who has severe abandonment issues?

Angela

Who sometimes keeps things from the other to protect them and it ends very badly?

Amanda

Who walks away from an argument in a panic because they don’t like confrontation?

Angela

Who makes a decision against the other’s wishes because they feel like there are bad signs everywhere?

Amanda

Who cries the first time they help the other come down from overstimulation because the other never had any comfort before?

Amanda

Who has the hardest time sleeping when the other leaves for a few days?

Angela

Who worries about being too clingy but their partner comforts them that they aren’t?

Angela

Who helps the other calm down with soft touches and who uses words?

Angela uses touch, Amanda uses words

Who cries whenever their partner is in pain because it physically hurts their heart?

Amanda

Who would do something crazy for their partner just to make them happy again, not tell the other person they’re doing it, and then get severely hurt during the process?

Angela

Who runs to the other first after an argument?

Amanda

Who avoids the other when they’ve said something wrong because they genuinely feel so bad?

Angela

Who holds the other for as long as they need when they’re nonverbal?

Amanda

Who tries to convince the other they’re feeling fine when they’re clearly not?

Amanda

Who gives the most gentle kisses after a hard day?

Amanda

Who is the one that angry cries during an argument or when their partner is being hurt by someone else?

Angela

Who bottles up their feelings because they don’t want to be an inconvenience to their partner?

Angela

Who would quit their job for the other, no matter what?

Both of them

#smosh #smoshblr #amangela #angela giarratana #amanda lehan canto #not reality just for fun #headcanon #angst headcanons #i’m sorry everyone #but these were fun

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gingerylangylang1979 · 1 year

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Carmy, Sydney, and Marcus... Because We Will Never Shut Up About It.

Deep thoughts while waiting for the feeling to come back to my mouth after a dental procedure, so forgive me if this is all over the place:

The dynamics between Carmy, Sydney, and Marcus have sparked endless posts due to key scenes in E7 and E8. Most takes seem to be polarized to either sympathize with Carmy or sympathize with Sydney and Marcus. I’m here to say a binary view is a reductive take. I’m approaching this from a perspective of social consciousness, personal experience, and objectivity needed when creating meaningful commentary on media. Hell, I’m even going to say it’s crucial to analyzing culture in general. Ignoring these factors is much of the reason people fail in relating to each other and moving forward together from a place of understanding and commonality. I’m probably going to piss some people off with my points but please at least read to the end and then be pissed off all you want.

The usual opinions regarding these three tend to fall into two camps. One, Carmy failed and is a horrible boss and his white man pain does not excuse his behavior and Sydney and Marcus are at no fault and are trying to reach excellence, within a system that is not in their favor, without proper support. Two, Sydney and Marcus are totally to blame for what happened and Carmy deserved to snap and shouldn’t have apologized or accepted them back. Both opinions are usually presented simplistically, sometimes with a few more shades of nuance, but essentially this is the essence of what I’m seeing voiced. Strictly agreeing with one or the other is not accurate.

My conclusions from take one are that Sydney and Marcus are deserving of leadership that will foster and guide their development to a higher level but Carmy in his current state is incapable of giving them what they need. That doesn’t make him a monster, it makes him human, regardless if he is a white man in pain or not. I don’t know any man or woman in his situation that wouldn’t be struggling given his lived experience. I don’t know any human who is having panic attacks at the drop of a dime, is always on the verge of tears, is still freshly grieving, dissociates, and sleep cooks who would be able to give new employees their best and maintain composure at all times. It’s just not realistic. Just because someone has authority doesn’t mean they can deliver what is needed at all times.

Sydney and Marcus are both young Black professionals striving for more in Carmy’s kitchen under his uneasy authority. He isn’t looking at them as employees to mentor, he's looking at them as talented resources to help foster stability. That’s where he is at with them professionally. That’s all he has to give. It’s a case of bad timing, not a bad person. Sydney and Marcus were not getting the leadership they desperately needed and their lived experiences aren’t recognized but despite their lived experiences they would still be in the same scenario. Anybody coming into that kitchen would not be getting Carmy’s best. That sucks but it is what it is.

Much has been said about how we shouldn’t dismiss the relationship between Carmy and Sydney as mentor and mentee because she has stellar credentials, is a superb cook, is a capable leader (in ways Carmy fails), has business experience, and has saved The Beef many times. She is invaluable. So I agree that we shouldn’t just reduce her to a mentee in Carmy’s kitchen. But she did seek to work with him for a reason. She does think she can learn from him. So while she may not be super subordinate to him she herself acknowledges that she has something to gain from him. She told this to Richie in E2. She said they could ALL learn a lot from him. She wants to get to the level of perfection she reveres him for. He made the best dish she’s ever had. She is seeking something from him she didn’t get in her previous experiences, even as her own boss. That does not diminish her, that’s saying basically what her words and actions have shown us. Carmy gave her a title but he never outlined the dynamic and was wishy-washy. One minute she is “everything else” the next he’s “Yes, Cheffing” her. She was confused on where she stood at any time. When he gave feedback or tried to get her on point he never explained how or why. When he snapped at her about Tina’s insubordination I think he was trying to get her to see it didn’t matter, he wasn’t going to micromanage personal dynamics and she needed to steer the ship and do what needed to get service back on track. Instead of that he just barked. Instead of telling her what was up with the risotto and offering to workshop it with her, he was just dismissive and offered a wet eyed apology. He failed to communicate properly when she urgently needed it.

Marcus is totally new to elevated cuisine having worked at McDonald’s and his time at The Beef under Michael. Once he sees that Carmy and Sydney are coming from a whole other world he is intrigued and wants more. Moving from bread baking to becoming a real pastry chef is his vision. Another establishment may have gotten rid of him once they outsourced bread but he was kept on and given a new trajectory. He admirably catches a spark and runs with it. He starts putting in the work to immerse himself in fine patisserie knowledge and practice. Carmy does allow Marcus space to experiment. He does give Sydney authority to lead. But what he offers them is messy, undefined, and not fully realized because he isn’t capable and he is unaware of how this is being internalized by them.

Mentally, he doesn’t have the bandwidth and he also doesn’t have a healthy model to reference. We all know it takes a lot of work for someone abused to break the cycle of abuse. All he knows is his own experience. It’s easy to say okay dude, don’t do that but it's harder to just flick a switch and be different. It’s even harder when you are in your own crisis mode and are starting from fucked. Carmy’s trauma can’t just be switched off nor can his bad habits. He tries, he fails. It’s not an excuse but it is an explanation. He is a white man in pain but he’s also human. Sydney and Marcus happen to be at the receiving end. Not fair, but also not intentional. He knows he wants to do better, better just didn’t come fast enough.

My conclusions from take two are that Sydney and Marcus did make mistakes but they are not worthy of continued blame and Carmy should learn from his loss of control. Sydney totally deserves a pass. As mentioned, she came through for the team big time on numerous occasions. When she quit that’s when Carmy went into full meltdown. Him screaming wasn’t it, to me. Him losing it when she left was the full meltdown. He knows he needs her. She’s MVP. She was overworked, underpaid, harassed by Richie, and hazed. She could have and arguably should have quit many times. She could have gotten a job elsewhere but she chose to stay committed to The Beef until she couldn’t. She reached her breaking point and was like why am I putting up with this shit? I wouldn’t have, I would have been like see ya way before she did. She helped Carmy transform that place, as noted by Tina and Marcus, yet received very little in return. Maybe she abandoned the team but how many times did Carmy leave her in the lurch? Carmy messed up by not taking the minute he always asks her for and touching base about the tension over the review and making sure they were aligned on all points before launching a new service model. They could have done the run through she seemed to be asking for but he was full steam ahead and ignoring the issue.

Marcus is a slightly different story. No, I don’t think he deserves to be berated endlessly nor is he a lost cause but he does need to realize that while maybe making cakes and being on task E7 wouldn’t have fixed the shit show his repeated lack of listening to both Carmy and Sydney about staying on task was ignored. He did get space to do his thing all he was asked was to not get sidetracked. Carmy said he trusted him but he still didn’t listen. Carmy gave him a pep talk after he still didn’t listen and blew a fuse in the middle of a day that already started fucked. He still didn’t listen. The day they were starting a new service model and Carmy warned him to stay on task he still didn’t listen. When Sydney got onto him about it he still didn’t listen. That’s a lesson any employee needs to learn. I don’t care how talented and passionate you are what work place would allow you to just not listen after multiple reminders? You simply have to follow direction. Him not processing that is a huge flaw. The thing is a good, capable leader would take the time and work with him to establish a way to prioritize and create a development plan. They would see that he is going to sink if he doesn’t get that under control. It just wasn’t the time for that in the midst of all the chaos of getting The Beef solvable and Carmy wasn’t equipped to give that or recognize it was needed. What I do fault Carmy with is not taking control and realizing they couldn’t do the impossible in E7. He should have just stopped, regrouped, canceled the orders, and done a post-mortem on what went wrong. His blowup wasn’t just about the to-go’s or the review. He was holding it together, barely, for months and this was him finally blowing a fuse.

I think when some see the scene of Sydney and Marcus talking shit about Carmy they stay stuck on neither accepting blame. I took the scene as two young Black professionals bonding and talking shit because coworkers talk shit about their boss. As far as demanding apologies from Carmy or Sydney and Marcus, fine, sure, whatever. Carmy did apologize to both of them. Maybe it wasn’t as gushing and dramatic as some think he needs to be to atone. I dunno, I think it was okay for where we are in the story. Sydney and Marcus are still a bit bitter and cautious, as one would expect after being chastised in front of peers. I don’t think it’s fair to expect them to prostrate themselves to Carmy, someone they are still giving a bit of side eye to after he did humiliate them. They don’t fully understand what’s up with Carmy. He keeps things well guarded. When he opened up about Al-Anon Sydney, rightfully so, she said it was too personal. So he takes that as let me keep my shit to myself, like I always have, we ain’t that close, sorry. By the same token, Sydney and Marcus may not be at the point of being like hey, these are my experiences being Black in the workplace, thirsty for more, and feeling marginalized so I’m sensitive to x, y, z.

Everyone is in their own story and not fully transparent because they are all navigating how to exist together joyfully and productively. Nor is anyone a mind reader. But really, at the core all three of their needs and struggles are universal. Who hasn’t felt unsupported and taken for granted? Who hasn’t had to keep adulting when their world is crumbling? I think what’s needed more is a sit down between all of them to hash it out. What we got in E8 was venting from Sydney and Marcus and guilty resignation from Carmy. Not satisfying, but realistic. They have work to do as a team. They need love and forward positive movement more than they need some perceived deserved atonement. Words are easy and cheap. Anybody can say they sorry, what they actually gonna do?

My whole point is we need to look at all of them as just people. I’m not saying be blind to identity but at the core everyone’s arc could be anyone’s arc. All of their struggles are universal. I am a Black woman and I relate to all three of them for various reasons. Like Sydney, I have been the young Black girl thrust into leadership but not supported in growth. My authority has been questioned, I’ve been bullied, I’ve been given too much on my plate because I’m “so capable and being held to a higher standard.” Like Marcus, I’ve hyper fixated on a new passion to the point of obsession and had trouble figuring out how to maintain the baseline while chasing perfection. Like Carmy, I have depression and anxiety, had an addict family member who died suddenly (my mom, I didn’t go to the funeral either and had to go back home abruptly) yet still had to be the boss of a shit show while trying to heal, deal, not overshare, share, yet ask for a minute that was never given all at the same time.

I don’t know if I’m making any sense but I think everyone needs to look deeper if they seek to prioritize any of these character’s needs over another and be dismissive of anyone’s struggles. I think that’s what the show is kind of about. And maybe do the same thing with people IRL. Anything else is unproductive and unkind. There is not enough mercy, grace, empathy, and understanding.

Anyways, be blessed and Happy Holidays!

Edited to add: In no way am I dismissing the conscious or unconscious bias of some viewers who fail to empathize with Sydney and Marcus. I forgot to include that earlier. My point is conscious and unconscious bias can be at play with either take on the conflicts between these three characters.

#the bear #the bear fx #the bear hulu #carmy berzatto #sydney adamu #marcus the bear #jeremy allen white #ayo edebiri #lionel boyce

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