#it's insane honestly. at least my store manager is trying to help out but idk if anyone over her head actually gives a fuck about it lol

[transhitman]

District manager is coming in to the store today and I swear if she says anything bad about how I'm running my department I'm gonna blow a fuse

#LIKE. SERIOUSLY FUCK OFFFFFFF. #I've been short-staffed since I started and it has literally only been me since the new year #I'm supposed to have 3 part-timers to help me but the company refuses to pay a living wage so no one wants to work here #I'm literally doing the work of double my hours NO SHIT I'm not doing any of the manager stuff rn #god forbid I prioritize the customers over the company paperwork #only preempting criticism because she was really harsh on me when I first started #and I don't mind criticism but it has become increasingly clear that no one actually knows what happens in my department #they just know what paperwork I'm supposed to be filing they don't actually know what services we provide... #it's insane honestly. at least my store manager is trying to help out but idk if anyone over her head actually gives a fuck about it lol

[byulsgrease]

if you arent too busy, can you write a idol!hwasa x idol!reader, wherein they both have to practice with each other for a special stage. However on the first meeting they become starstruck and cant believe somethings are real, but soon warm up to each other?

i'm not terribly busy but this still took a while anyway oops - sorry this took so long anon! here you go :D

if anyone has requests for the other members hmu cuz I've got 2 more hyejin reqs after this one (not that I'm complaining)

"who says we can't do something on our own?"

(hwasa x idol!reader, ~1.2k words)

cw: food + alcohol mention (y'all know how it is)

I named someone Minjeong - it's not Aespa's Winter, idk anything about 4th gen gg's - 민정 is my Korean name so it's just what came to mind

"Hey, wake up. You've gotta see this. GET UP," a voice piercing through the fog of your sleep.

What a rude awakening. Your shoulders being shaken vigorously by a pair of small hands meant they belonged to none other than Minjeong, your youngest group member. You rolled over to glare menacingly at her with one eye open, trying to pull your brain out of the slumber. All you could see was the bright light of her phone shining in your eyes - a video of some kind. But then you heard the audio:

"Have you seen the clip?" asked the interviewer.

"Yes, my members and many MooMoos made sure I saw it"— Moos? Oh, it's Hwasa. WAIT. Both your eyes flew open as you sat up and snatched Jeongie's phone out of her hand to stare at the video. Your mind immediately flashed back to the interview you did last week - they asked who you most wanted to collaborate with, if there were no limitations. Your ears started to heat up at the sheer thought of the flustered mess of an answer you gave - of course you said Hwasa. Both of you debuted relatively close to each other, within a year, but never interacted much over the years. Mamamoo as a group was a force to be reckoned with, but there was just something about Hwasa specifically. You mostly just admired her unique singing voice and undeniable stage presence, and her relentless drive to always be herself in an industry constantly trying to fit women into a box.

Finally snapping out of re-living that embarrassment, your attention turned back to the phone in your hand. The interviewer must've asked her to send a message in response to you, because you couldn't believe that she was waving and saying, "How haven't we gotten to know each other better over all these years? I'd love to work with you on something sometime," curtly dipping her head in a slight bow.

"SEE? You needed to see that," Minjeong rushed to say, full of energy. "And close your mouth, your jaw's on the floor," jokingly pointing.

You side-eyed her and shut your mouth. "Is this what Loco felt like when she called him during Hyena on the Keyboard?" you wondered aloud.

"At least she's not calling you while on camera," she commented, knowing full well that you'd probably embarrass yourself again if she did. "But hey, at least she noticed you! Can I have my phone back now?" It would be a dream come true to collaborate with her, but cross-company collabs... always a pain. that couldn't be helped. The fantasy abruptly ended with demands from your rumbling stomach. Done with your what-if's, you placed the phone back in your maknae's outstretched hand to get up and make breakfast.

~~~~

With award show season rolling around, the crazy scramble of rehearsing for special live stages without leaking sets and collabs began. Checking your email that morning showed a schedule to record the backing track for a special live stage, but that was it. With who? You texted your members a screenshot, but they all told you that block of time in their schedule was empty. A solo stage? The solo mini-album you released this cycle did relatively well, the title track got a music show win, but not a multi-week chart-topper by any means. Possibilities turning over in your mind, you stepped out from your place to head to the company, totally in the dark about what was in store.

The recording studio always smelled the same along with the couches, a comfort for all the insanely long nights and crack-of-dawn early mornings over the years. With a bit of time to kill, you plopped down on one and gingerly patted the worn cushions as some kind of symbolic thank-you for supporting you (literally).

A hesitant but loud knock sent your gaze directly to the door. Watching it slowly open, you leaned forward to see who it was. Needless to say, your jaw fell to the floor again as you clapped a hand over your gaping mouth, eyes widening. Like a soldier obeying a command, you immediately stood up as straight as possible and bowed profusely at Hwasa, sporting a very similar expression on her face (which you failed to notice, your mind running a million miles a minute).

After a series of frantic bows and miscellaneous utterances to each other, she spoke. "It's nice to finally meet you," she said with calm, surveying your frenzied state. "I guess we're granting that collab wish from your interview, huh?"

The red-hot embarrassment leapt to your face. "I...I definitely made a fool of myself answering that question. And our maknae showed me your interview clip too, which was cool, but never did I think it would actually happen," you stammered. I should probably stop talking.

"Well, here I am," she half-smiled coolly. "Let's get started, I'm really looking forward to finally work with you on this," a gleam in her eye and a hint of excitement in her voice.

The studio suddenly felt a lot smaller with her in it, despite there only being your managers, the producer, and the both of you - less people than you and your members alone. Both of you remained relatively quiet the whole time, rather unsure of what to say or talk about. You watched enough MMMTV to know that all the members on their own were shyer than together, and Hwasa knew the same was true for you. But the work basically took care of itself, seamlessly taking turns in the recording booth, witnessing each other's work style and process. The both of you knew your way in front of a mic, seasoned professionals by now. Upon wrapping up, you bowed politely to each other after a quick exchange of KaTalk info, a short and sweet goodbye.

That was... anticlimactic. I mean, it's finally happening - I can't believe it. But maybe I was too idealistic about maybe creating a meaningful relationship with her outside of work... What does she think of me?

~~~~

In the days leading up to the collab stage, you kept going back and forth on whether to reach out or not, despite now being in possession of her contact info. What would you even say? Thoughts of a witty one-liner or relatable meme came to mind, but maybe she'd assume the worst - that you were clout-chasing, or something. Anxieties abuzz, your phone vibrated in your pocket. The KaTalk notification sprawled across your screen. Speak of the devil, it's her.

"Hey, awards season has me stressed. I know you must pretty busy right now too, but I somehow get off early tomorrow if you wanna grab dinner after work?" You had to reread that one. Oh, what? She's inviting me?

Trying not to be weird about responding too quickly, you typed out, "Wow, yeah, that sounds great! ^^ wait, your company doesn't care about you going out to eat during award season?"

"nah, they stopped having that kind of control over us a while ago, we are the money-maker of the company, after all 😏"

"so I guess this means they don't check your phone either ㅋㅋㅋ"

"nope :)"

You proceeded to set a time and place to meet, someplace with meat.

In the process of feasting on an inordinate amount of gopchang imbued with a splash of beer, you learned a fair amount about each other. You talked career, professional aspirations, the weird habits of your members, and more. What surprised you most was the amount of things she already knew about you, having admitted to watching some of your behind-the-scenes content after seeing your interview clip.

"Ah... I'm sorry if I came across as distant during that first recording session," she confessed, pausing to sip her beer. "I honestly didn't know what to do with myself, I felt a little star-struck."

"Oh what?? I felt the exact same, so no worries - and sorry if I came off similarly distant," you rambled back. A bit of silence fell between you, acknowledging the mutual sentiment. You spoke up after a bit, "Thanks for inviting me out tonight, I didn't realize how much I needed this."

"Thank you for making the time, I had fun getting to know you better," she articulated with a smile. "Maybe it'll make the collab stage better," she added on jokingly. You responded with a nod and expression of mutual affirmation.

~~~~

After that, messaging each other became a regular occurrence, that gopchang outing having broken the ice. Honestly, you tried your best to talk about anything besides work, but the baseline of shared understanding connected you in a way that came more naturally than it did with your non idol friends.

You stood across the way from her at the sound check for the final stage, dressed in joggers and slides. Funny to think that you'd be recording this for real in a couple hours, making eyes with the blinking red light on the cameras surrounding you. It sucks that fans wouldn't get to experience the energy and atmosphere of the performance - Hyejin alone is one thing, but adding someone else into her stage presence? Unmatched. There's nothing quite like a live performance - and while you knew everyone in the industry dealt with the consequences of the pandemic, it certainly took a toll to perform and not feel the energy from fans. But realistically, nothing you could do about it. The sound check went over smooth like butter. The stage chemistry came flowing naturally between you both, even when bare-faced and dressed in just sweats.

And when the time came for the actual filming, you both absolutely killed it, an upbeat mash-up of TWIT and your title track. At the very end came a sliver of hesitation before throwing your arms around each other with a big smile for the ending fairy, proud of the work you accomplished together, and a mental fist-pump to yourself for making friends with one of the industry's finest.

Once again walking to a restaurant that served mostly meat to celebrate, you playfully proposed, "We... should do that again sometime." A little puff of air came out her nose in amusement.

"Yeah, we should. Too bad we're gonna have to wait a whole cycle before we can release anything else together again," she sighed longingly.

"Who says we can't do something on our own?"

#did not know how to end oops #mamamoo x reader #hwasa x reader #mamamoo hwasa #ahn hyejin #hwasa fanfic #hwasa imagines #hwasa #mamamoo fic #mamamoo imagines #mamamoo scenarios #girl group fanfic #girl group imagines #girl group scenarios #kpop #kpop fic #gg fic #gg fanfic #requested

[pink-imagines]

angel on earth

part 8

request: Bakugou holds auditions for a new lead singer for the BakuBand and the reader auditions and he’s mesmerised by her voice? Idk, I’m awful at requesting, sorry. ❤️ Love everything you do, don’t stress, and have a good day!

a/n: aaaa i think i’ll make two more parts of this? then it’ll be done? that’s insane!!!

warnings: blood, fighting, angst

masterlist

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7

The door dinged at your closing shift while you were cleaning up.

“Sorry we’re closed!”, you said kindly.

“I found you…”, you recognized Aito’s voice at light’s speed, “I finally found you...” He looked like he hadn’t slept in days, with eyebags down to his knees. Aito wore a smile that was creepily wicked and wide and a glimt in his eyes made your stomach turn. Your instinct was to run as soon as you saw him, but where?

“What do you want?”, you managed to say. You tried to find you phone but you had left it in your coat in the back of the store. The only thing you could think of was to get out somehow.

“Y/N, I need you. And you need me. You know that, right?”, he let out a breathy laugh as he stumbled towards the counter.

“Get back or I’ll call the police!”, you backed up against the wall as he jumped over the counter.

“We’re meant to be, Y/N. I love you. I need you.”, he grinned, “You know it deep in your heart.”, he pointed his finger to your chest where your heart was beating uncontrolably. He was so close that you could feel his breath, he reaked of alcohol. It looked like he hadn’t brushed his teeth, since they had a yellow sheen over them, but the alcohol drowned the stench of his breath.

“We broke up! Get away from me!”, you pushed him off of you and he stumbled back. But he was way stronger than you, the only option you had was to run. The door was blocked by his body and running into the back could possibly lead you to a dead end. You were trapped.

-

“Where is she?”, Hanta shuttered where he stood. Y/N was supposed to meet them by the back of the store at 7 pm. It was 7:15.

“She’s probably just late.”, Mina sighed as her call went to voicemail again, “She’s cleaning up the entire café by herself and she likes to do things perfect.”

“Don’t you have a key?”, Kaminari groaned as he tried to keep himself warm.

“Yeah, but I don’t want to barge in there!”, Mina argued, “She knows how to take care of herself! And she needs time, this is a big step for her!” The two kept arguing as Katsuki and Eijiro leaned against the wall, Katsuki was just trying to prepare himself for seeing her again. There were low thumps coming from the inside, sounds of someone struggling.

“Do you hear that?”, Katsuki’s heartbeat quickened.

“Yeah...”, Eijiro gave him a worried look. The quiet scream was what sent Katsuki off edge, he was ready to kick someone’s ass.

“Oi! Open the fuck up!”, he shouted at Mina.

“Didn’t you hear me? She can-”

“Yeah, I don’t give a fuck! I heard a scream, what if she fell under some boxes or something?”, he shouted. He knew she didn’t fall, but he didn’t want to believe what else it had to be.

Mina opened the door and Katsuki ran in first. She wasn’t in the changing room, so he ran into the café. There she was, laying on a table and struggling to keep Aito’s body off of her. Chairs were laying everywhere and Y/N’s shirt was on the floor beside her. This wasn’t some sort of break up hook up, Y/N was sobbing.

“Get off! Get off!”, she screamed.

That’s all it took. Katsuki didn’t even think, he just threw himself over Aito who fell down to the floor. Punch on punch were thrown on Aito and nothing could stop him... nothing but-

“Katsuki, stop!”, Y/N cried.

His movements froze completely. When he looked up at her his heart shattered. Katsuki just wanted to hold her and tell her that everything would be okay...

“Y/N, I-”

Aito’s fist made it’s way to Katsuki’s stomach- knocking the wind out of him, and turning his attention back to Aito’s very punchable face. Little did he know that Aito had a tiny pocket knife hidden in his sleeve.

-

“Call the police!”, Mina shouted at Eijiro, who already had his phone out and dialed the three digit number, as soon as she saw blood. Katsuki had gotten stabbed in the stomach, and honestly who knows where else.

The only thing holding you back from stopping Aito was Sero’s arms. You didn’t care if Aito was dangerous, he was hurting Katsuki! But somehow, with all the adrenaline, Katsuki kept fighting. As soon as Eijiro had made the call he gave his phone to Mina after giving the police the information. He then ran into the fight and seperated the two.

It had been a few days. There was a recording of it all happening, you were lucky that the café had cameras. You managed to get a restraining order but there wasn’t a lot that happened to Aito that you got to know about. Hopefully he got arressted.

Katsuki was in a hospital but you didn’t dare look him in the eye after what you put him through, so you hadn’t seen him at all. You joined the band again, becoming the temporary lead singer. After the whole ordeal you got a lot of attention from media, resulting in the band becoming bigger.

Whenever the rest of the band visited the hospital you told them that you were going to stay behind and practice. You really wanted to see him, but you were afraid that he wanted nothing to do with you.

One time after Mina came back home after visiting Katsuki she handed you a note.

“He told me not to read it and just give it to you.”, she smiled sadly at you, “He misses you.”

You looked at her as she walked into the bathroom and then opened the note.

“Call me”, was written on the note along with a number.

With a shaky hand you dialed the number... but didn’t call. You simply saved it, for when you knew you needed it.

-

“Has she called?”, Eijiro asked.

“No...”, Katsuki croaked, “She hasn’t. She doesn’t want to see me.”

“I don’t think so-”

“Oh really?”, Katsuki scoffed, “She hasn’t visited or even called. She hates me.”

“I think she thinks the same thing. It’s kind of hard to see someone when you know they got stabbed because of you.”, Eijiro joked, “Besides, she’s preparing for tour with us now too, she’s busy.”

“... wish her good luck from me.” Eijiro took that as a hint and walked out.

“I will.”, he closed the door behind him.

Y/N had turned him soft. He had never felt that way before. He hated that he was so damn vulnerable to her. She was really something... it’s something about the way she smiles as soon as their eyes met... or how her eyes could express so much emotion alone. The way she moved was adoreable, the way she thought was remarkable and her... her entirety was ethereal.

He was so fucked.

-

The hotel room was dimly lit. Finally, the tour had started. It had been about a month or so since the café incident... but you still felt guilty. Katsuki was supposed to be in your place. He deserved to look out the big hotel window and admire his success. The starry night sky glimmered over the skyline, you couldn’t think that you’d ever be here.

As you layed in the fluffy king sized bed you couldn’t help but to think of Katsuki. The way he’d smile at you with such love in his eyes as he layed next to you. Suddenly the starry sky was less appealing. In your mind, Katsuki was leaving soft kisses across your body. Light touches and low hums of delight. When you let your mind wander like this you could finally fall asleep. You knew it was selfish, but you couldn’t help it. What if you had just kissed him that night, then maybe everything could be so wonderful.

Nightmare upon nightmare. You couldn’t sleep anymore! The only thing keeping you alive was music. Music and the thought of finally seeing Katsuki again. You wanted to see him! You wanted to at least hear his voice...

Your steps were quiet and quick on the cold hotel floor. Laying on the kitchen table, was your phone. You noted that the table had three chairs surrounding it... this room really wasn’t meant for one person. The light from the phone made your eyes sting but you still dialed his number. With a shaky breath you pushed the call button.

-

He was still awake. The clock showed 3:07 am. An unknown number called. He just wanted some way to forget, so he answered.

“Hi... it’s Y/N.”

“... you called.”, he smiled softly.

“Of course... I... I really miss you. But I get it if you don’t want to-”

“I miss you too.”, Katsuki exclaimed before she could say anything else, “You’re on tour, right?”

“Yeah...”, she chuckled, “You should be here instead of me though. I don’t deserve it.”

“Are you kidding me? You’re amazing.”, he smiled.

“Can’t compare to you, though.”, he could hear her walking around, “You should see this view.”

“Did you get a suite or something?”, he chuckled.

“Yeah... it’s too big for one person though. It’s lonely.”, she sighed, “I... uh... that night when you... when you tried to kiss me. I’ve thought about it for a while.”

“Oh... are you-... is there... I-”

“I’m sorry for reacting the way I did.”, she explained, “I was scared and I wanted to do the right thing. I realize now that... maybe I didn’t end up doing the right thing.”

“Y/N, you don’t have to-”

“What I’m trying to say is, I like you too. I know it’s too late but I just wanted to get it off my chest.”, she let out a relieved breath.

“It’s not too late.”, he muttered softly, “I want to see you sometime soon. Call me when the tour is over.”

“That’s gonna be a while to wait-”

“I’ve waited this long, I think I can wait a few weeks longer. Besides, I don’t want you to see me in this horrid hospital gown.”, he grinned.

“Fine then. I’ll call you when the tour ends. I bet you look great even in that gown, though.”, she giggled, “I can’t wait to see you again.”

“Just a few more weeks.”, he reminded her.

“Just a few more weeks...”, she repeated.

#katsuki #bakugou katsuki #Katsuki Bakugō #katsuki bakugo imagine #katsuki x reader #bakugo #bnha bakugou #bakugo x reader #bnha #bnha fanfiction #bnha fanfic #bnha imagine #mha imagines #mha x reader #mha x y/n #mha x you #boku no hero fanfic #boku no hero headcanons #boku no hero x reader #my hero academia #my hero academy fanfiction

[sakurasangcl]

Redamancy

Pairing: OT7 x Reader; Yoongi x Reader

Word Count: 4.3k

Warnings: soft dom!Yoongi, oral (f receiving), Yoongi is actually being hella vanilla for once

Summary: After what was called the Near End, humanity was left with mostly males and few (fertile) females. As one of the “lucky ones” you were sent off to be given to generally two or three men and have their children. You end up in a situation where you are with seven insanely gorgeous men. (idk I suck at summaries man)

It was the day after your twenty first birthday and you were on a plane going to your new home. It was a normal occurrence in society, and you were supposedly lucky. You, however, did not give in to the propaganda so easily. One of your friends almost convinced you to run away with them, but you decided against it after hearing what happens to the people who get caught. You didn't have a death wish, nor did you want to die like they did. So, you were trying to stay calm as you flew to Seoul where your husbands, for the lack of a pleasant term, lived.

Women would pick and choose what to call to call the men they end up with. Some will say mates or soulmates, boyfriends, husbands, and even master. For you, you stuck with the more common word: husband. You felt unlucky with the fact that you had more than one, despite the average woman having two or even three. Your parents were one of the few pairs, and you wished that was you.

You let out a dejected sigh as you open your phone to the file again, reading the slim amount of information given. All you had were names, age, a picture, and the address.

The only bright side you could find was that at least they were all handsome.

Your mind wandered through the flight, hardly paying attention to the movies playing. You only snapped out of your daze when the flight attendants brought you food or water and when you were finally landing.

You felt so nervous that you could feel what you did eat trying to come back up. You swallowed and got out a piece of minty gum, trying to calm your nerves.

You walk out and get your luggage, then look around where to go. When you find a man with your name on a sign, you knew he was your driver.

"Hello, you must be Minsoo, correct? I'm Y/N." You greet him, bowing as you introduce yourself. His eyes light up in recognition, and you figure he must have seen a picture before. You glimpse his agency badge as he verifies you're you before leading you to the car and taking your luggage.

"The rest of your things are at your new home. They all have the day off work at least today and tomorrow. Things should go well, as they have been living with each other for a few years. Honestly, I'm surprised that it's just you. It's no wonder we need more people nowadays…" Minsoo talks, letting you aimlessly watch the world go by and halfheartedly listen to him speaking. "You'll have to stay at home with them for three months to start getting used to things. If they all agree after that, then you can start job hunting. Its normally suggested to get a part time job, but work and hours here have really improved and the benefits suit women really well."

"Now that we're almost there, I'll give you a few brief official words. Contact us if you don't feel safe or welcome, report any adulterous acts that may occur, and reach out if you are not being treated properly. I will have to clear you after three months before you can job search, so I'll see you then. When we stop I'll give you my card as well. Do you have any questions for me?" Minsoo says.

"Are a lot of girls treated unfairly around here? Where I'm from it can be pretty mixed…" you softly ask, staring at the giant house you pulled up to.

"Seoul has lower abuse statistics nowadays, but it does depend on who you've been paired with. Your partners should be fine. They're wonderful and I think I'm leaving you in great hands. Here is my card, and let me help get the luggage out of the car." He responds, smiling.

"Oh, um, thanks." You respond, taking the card and putting it in your purse before getting out of the car. He gets out of the car and takes out your suitcase, then follows you to the door.

You take a deep breath before knocking, wondering who would answer.

You didn't have to wait long until one of them opened the door. You recognized it as the eldest of them all, Jin.

He smiled brightly at you and opens the door wide. "You must be Y/N! I'm Seokjin, or Jin for short. Let me get your luggage for you. Please, come in and make yourself comfortable." He says, stepping out and taking your luggage from you and Minsoo.

You go inside and take off your shoes, looking around at the house. It definitely looked lived in, which came as a relief to you. Obviously, the boys must have lived together for a while for it to look this way.

Jin steps in behind you, your luggage in tow. "You must be tired. Was your flight too long?" He asks you kindly. "Let me take you to your room."

You mindlessly nod, your breathing a bit shallow and your stomach in knots. Your hands feel clammy as you follow Jin through the house.

"Don't worry about getting lost. You're welcome in any room, but it might be good to knock first in case it's someone's bedroom. After you take a nap one of us can show you around more. This one's your room. It's actually the master bedroom." Jin says, opening the door.

The room was very large and beautiful, but also rather bare. The walls were a soft gray, and a blanket on the white comforter matched it perfectly. The sheets and pillow were white and the entire room was begging to be filled by you. The few boxes of your things were by the end of the bed, which came as a relief to you. You had hoped that they wouldn’t go through your things. You were embarrassed at the thought of random men going through your clothing.

“Oh! You’re here!” A voice calls from the bathroom. You hear a little stumble and then a smaller man came out with a duster and a large smile on his face. “Hi, I’m Jimin! Don’t mind me, I’ve just been doing some last minute cleaning!” Jimin giggles. “There’s a towel hanging up in the bathroom for you so you can shower. Feel free to take as long as you’d like. If you need a hairdryer or just can’t find yours, ask any of us. Or I can blow dry your hair for you! Whatever is most comfortable for you.”

“Someone will wake you up for food if you haven’t woken up by dinner. So please, make yourself at home. Sleep, I’m sure you need it.” Jin says, setting your luggage down by the door.

“Thank you, Jin. Nice to meet you Jimin.” You say, politely bowing as they leave. You hear them saying a few things as the walk away, and make out the words “cute,” “sweet,” “very polite,” and “lucky.” A shy smile etches its way onto your face as you dig through your luggage, getting out your shower essentials.

When you walk into the bathroom, it was not what you were expecting. It was about the size of your old room, and was stunning. There was a steam shower with glass walls, leaving it open to the room. The bathtub was more of a jacuzzi, and could definitely fit two people, if not three.

You made your way to the shower, setting your things down in an alcove of the wall. You turn the shower on, delighted to find that it was easy to adjust to the perfect temperature and that the head was removable. You manage to angle the water so that when you sit down on the stone bench in the shower, the water is perfectly hitting your hair. The glass windows soon begin to fog up as you clean yourself off, humming to yourself.

Once you’re done and in your pajamas, you’re extremely tempted to just go to bed with wet hair. However, you remember how Jimin offered to dry your hair. Letting out a sigh, you opened the hallway door. “Jimin?” you softly call, putting on your bathrobe and walking down the hallway a little bit. “Jimin, where are you?” you ask, startled when a door nearby opens.

“Erm, you must be Y/N, right? I’m Taehyung.” He says, smiling brilliantly. “Jimin is down playing a game with Jungkook; I was about to go. Can I help you instead?” he gently asks you.

You pause uncertainty, unsure if you should say yes or go get JImin instead. “Would you… would you mind drying my hair? Jimin offered to but if he’s busy, then…” You begin, very uncertain of yourself.

Your request seems to delight Taehyung, as he brightens up even more. “Sure! I’d love to. Do you know where your hairdryer is? You know what, just find your brush and I’ll get the one from the bathroom. There should be a bench in your bathroom, go sit on it and I’ll meet you there.” He says delightedly.

You nod and do as he says, yawning as you sit and wait for him. You look out the window you didn’t notice earlier, enjoying the view of the woods.

Taehyung soon join you with a hairdryer and some sort of spray in hand. “This is a heat protectant, and doubles to help hair dry quicker. I saw it in the store and figured that it might help with your hair.” He admits, plugging the hairdryer in. “Let me know if I’m hurting your scalp of if it's too hot, okay?” Taehyung requests, soon beginning to blow dry your hair.

You close your eyes and easily relax under his care. He was gentle with brushing your hair, and constantly making sure the air wasn’t too hot. Once he was done, he unplugged the hairdryer and offered you his hand.

“Here, let me tuck you in. Jin said you looked exhausted. I don’t blame you, to be honest. I would be if I were you.” He says.

You take his hand and he gladly leads you to the bed. He untucks the covers and unceremoniously pulls back the sheets, opening it for you to lay down in.

“Thank you,” you say, blushing but too tired to really care. You take off your bathrobe and set it on a chair nearby before laying down. Taehyung pulls the sheets back up and bends down as though he was going to kiss you, but thinks better of it.

“Sleep well,” he tells you, turning off the lights and shutting the door behind him.

You smile at Taehyung’s cute behavior before letting your exhaustion take over. You easily fall asleep in the comfortable bed, burrowed into the sheets.

You wake up to a loud clap of thunder and a lightning strike that you swear was right outside of your window. Your skin crawls and your hair stands on end as you creep into the bathroom to use the toilet. You jump as you wash your hands, another strike lighting up the dark bathroom.

You grab one of the blankets you had been cuddling with and wrapped it around you for security. You felt slightly nauseous and your heart was pounding in your ears. Your breathing was a bit shallow as you snuck out of your room, looking around for company.

Because you don't know where the light switches are, you walk down the dark hallways with a hand on the wall. You find your way downstairs and hear gunshots. You pause, your heart stopping in your chest. Cursing and laughter follows, and you realize it must be the video games Taehyung told you about.

You cautiously head towards the sound, finding a few familiar faces and one unfamiliar one. You notice room next to Jimin, who was watching the others play, so you sneak in the room and sit close to him, jumping at the sound of the thunder again.

Jimin turns and smiles at you, softly giggling when you jump in fright. He points to the other male playing with Taehyung and says, "That's Jungkook. He's the youngest of us."

You nod at his words and unconsciously lean into him, craving his comfort from the storm.

"Did the storm wake you?" He asks.

You nod, looking up at him as he talks.

"Did you at least sleep well?' He asks again.

You nod once more before speaking up. "It frightened me. I had to pee and now am hungry. I have no clue what time it is. My phone died and I didn't plug it in."

Jimin nods and checks his phone, showing you that it was seven in the evening. "Jin should be making dinner. I'm sure he will come get us soon. You can meet everyone else then." He tells you.

You nod and yawn, holding a pillow and cuddling into it. You watch Jungkook and Taehyung play, jumping a little at the joint sound of explosions and thunder. Thankfully, soon Jin came and told everyone it was dinner time. They had just finished their round, so it was perfect timing.

"Here, let me help you up," Jimin says, smiling and offering you his hand.

You shyly take it and he leads you to the dining room where Jin had made pretty much every dish you could imagine. It was a large table, but not too large. Everyone fit, but the food was overflowing.

Your mouth was practically watering at the sight, and Taehyung pulled out one of the chairs on the end for you. Thankfully, it was facing away from the window so you would be less startled by the lightning outside.

Jungkook sat beside you shyly, and introduced himself. "I'm Jungkook," he tells you quietly, smiling.

You can't help but  blush at how cute he looks and say, "Y/N. It's nice to meet you."

"I'm glad you got here safely," he adds, looking up with wide eyes as the others come in and snicker slightly at his behavior.

Taehyung sits next to you with Jimin on his other side. Jin sits across from you while the others you hadn't yet met sat on the far end.

Jin takes the opportunity to introduce everyone. "Y/N, this is Yoongi," he gestures to the smaller man next to him who had a super intense aura, "Hoseok," who was sitting next to Jimin and had a brilliant smile, "and Namjoon," the final man sitting next to Jungkook and Yoongi, who seemed very gentle and kind.

"It's nice to meet you all. Please take care of me and I will do my best to do the same for all of you." You respond, bowing your head some.

"Now that we've all been introduced, please eat. Ladies first!" Jin says, smiling as he sits.

You blush more and take food, trying a bit of everything. You find yourself getting along well with all of the boys and enjoying yourself too. Jin tries to get you to eat a third serving of everything, insisting that you should eat more. You laugh and shake your head no, shy from all of his attention.

At the end of dinner, Jimin sneaks out and gets a little cake for you to cut. "We went to a cake shop and got this. It's just a regular vanilla cake, so we hope you'll like it…" he tells you, setting it and the knife in front of you.

You're speechless; you didn't expect to have a wedding cake. "Vanilla is perfect. Thank you." You say shyly, going ahead and cutting a piece for yourself. "Do you all want a piece?" You ask them.

Because they do, you cut a piece for everyone and ate the cake happily.

At the end of dinner, Namjoon brings out paper straws cut different lengths. "I know it may not be something you like, Y/N, but for the first week we all need to…" he begins, trailing off a little and insinuating sex.

"Officiate things?" Yoongi suggests.

"Consummate our marriage?" Taehyung suggests.

"Oh, just say have sex!" Hoseok says, shaking his head.

"That. We figured that, since you don't know us well and vice versa, the easiest way to make an order is with straws. You will hold them so the part we see looks the same length, and we'll go longest straw to shortest. Does this sound alright?" Namjoon asks you.

You nod hesitantly, swallowing your fears. You had the opportunity to run away, but this is what you chose. Namjoon hands the straws to you and you fumble with them as you go to the living room to wait on the others. You make them seem the same length from where they would choose from, and wait for the few doing dishes to finish.

They come in the room and take straws, comparing them to each other. As they were figuring out the order, your heart felt like it was going to escape the cage of your chest and fly away. You couldn't make out them talking either, as all you could hear was essentially background noise.

You were nervous for what this could bring, and if you really were ready to have children.

After a few minutes Jin crouched across from you, trying to get your attention. "Hey, we have the order now. Its Yoongi, Jungkook, Hoseok, Namjoon, Taehyung, Jimin, and finally me. Obviously, the best is saved for last." He informs you with a wink.

At this, Yoongi came over to you with a shy, very gummy smile on his face. "Let's go, you must be exhausted," he says, offering you his hand.

You hesitate and look around at the others - who were watching you expectantly - before taking his hand. Yoongi led you upstairs, and paused outside a door.

"I don't mind doing this in my room or yours. But before we do, we should brush our teeth." He admits, still smiling. "That way we won't have to worry about it afterwards." Yoongi adds.

"Let's do mine. I'll meet you there?" You say tentatively. Yoongi nods and smiles.

You walk back to your room, your hands clammy and stomach in knots. You go to the bathroom and take a few deep breaths, focusing on breathing.

In.

Out.

In.

Out.

When you feel calmer, you go ahead and brush your teeth. You keep your eyes closed, trying not to think about what was about to happen. Right as you were finishing your teeth there was a knock on your door.

"Come in," you say, rinsing your mouth out as Yoongi comes into your room.

"It's a lot more homey now with your things in here. It still is missing some things, but it looks a lot better than before." He tells you as you walk over to him.

You sit on the bed next to him and he gingerly takes your hand.

"It's still kind of a mess, but I can work on that in the morning. I'd like to finish unpacking at least. I'll have to set up my bookshelf too and figure out how I want things. It will look nice though, i hope. Here is a lot nicer than where I was before. It was just a measly and small apartment, so this is a pleasant change." You admit, blushing as he holds your hand.

"I'm sure most of us won't mind helping you with all of that. Make sure you take it easy though, I'm sure you will need time to get over your jet lag and to become accustomed to the time here."

"I suppose you're right…" you agree, shyly looking away.

Yoongi gently squeezes your hand once more, before asking, "Are you really okay with this? If you don't want to… we can wait."

You shake your head no. You had a feeling you could get in trouble if you said no, and you didn't want to chance that. You didn't necessarily fully trust Yoongi, but you're instincts assured you that you would be okay.

"Yoongi, I'll be fine. I'll tell you to stop if want you to, okay?" You say, turning to face him and meet his eyes.

"The safe word can be red then. Is that okay?" He asks, brushing stray hairs out of your eyes.

You nod and suddenly his lips are on yours, sucking and nibbling your lower lip. It was a hungry, devouring kiss full of lust and need. You moan softly as he grinds against you, and he takes the opportunity to let his tongue explore your mouth and dominate you.

Although his mouth and the force of his kiss is anything but soft, his fingers were gentle as he explored up your shirt, playing with the band of your shorts.

"Such a good girl for me, hmm?" Yoongi whispered, his fingers tracing up your side and squeezing your breasts through your bra, causing you to moan. "You even sound so pretty for me." He adds in a hushed voice.

Yoongi suddenly pulls away and makes quick work of discarding your shirt and bra, leaving your upper half exposed. You could see the outline of his hard on in his jeans, straining to come out.

Yoongi makes his way between your legs, settling to grind against you and suck bruises onto your neck. He works his way down to your breasts, the sensation of his teeth nibbling at your pebbled nipples causing you to gasp softly. The sound is quickly followed by a moan as he sucks harshly on it, causing your hand to pull his hair and tug it. Yoongi smirks at the sounds you're making, and let's his tongue play in the valley of your breasts before giving the other one the same treatment.

"I'm gonna make you feel so good, princess," Yoongi tells you, moving down towards your throbbing clit. He gently nips your hip as he pulls down your bottoms and underwear in one go, exposing your slick heat to his hungry eyes.

"So wet for me too," he whispers, taking his shirt off and exposing his pale yet toned body. "Can I taste you, Y/N?" Yoongi asks, looking up at you and fully enjoying the view.

You shyly nod, taking in his appearance as he licks a stripe against your throbbing core. His nose parts your labia as he finds your clit, sucking on it and causing you to get goosebumps from pleasure. A soft moan escapes you, and Yoongi is soon lapping up your juices and thrusting his tongue into you. His eyes are trained on your face as he watches you react, your eyes rolling into the back of your head with a soft gasp at the sensation. Yoongi smirks against you and begins to familiarize himself with what makes you feel the best.

As he eats you out, a tight feeling grows in your stomach, causing your gasps to get airy. At the sound, Yoongi inserts two of his fingers, stretching you. He sucks on your clit when you whine at the new sensation. His fingers quickly find your sponge like g spot, and you're soon thrown over the edge and you cum on his hands and chin.

Yoongi laps up the mess you made, and sits up smirking as he meets your eyes. You are panting softly, but still need more.

"You taste amazing Y/N," he whispers, quickly discarding his pants and boxers. Yoongi's erection proudly slaps against his toned stomach, the tip an angry red and leaking precum. "I can't wait to feel your tight little pussy wrapped around my cock." He admits, trapping you with his arms on the sides of your head as he kisses you.

Yoongi grinds his erection against your heat, and quickly reaches into the bedside table, where it turned out they had stored lubricant. He squirted some onto his hands and rubbed them together to warm it up before coating his cock with it.

"It may hurt at first, but I promise it will feel better after I get all the way in," Yoongi gently explains, kissing your lips and resting his forehead against yours. "Just tell me to stop if you need me to. Remember the safe word." He urges, the head of his cock tapping your swollen clit.

Yoongi then slowly guides himself into you, moaning at how tight you were for him. The pressure initially does hurt, but once he's fully sheathed in you, the pain starts to fade. Yoongi looks you in the eyes before beginning to thrust into you, steadily hitting your spot.

He takes your hands and buries his face in your neck, grunting softly. Yoongi sucks on the skin as he begins to pick up his pace. "Fuck, baby," he moans.

You whine and clench around him, the coil beginning to build up again.

"Are you getting close? I'm not going to last much longer…" he pants, a hand reaching down between your bodied to rub and pinch your clit.

You suddenly scream his name and cum on his cock, orgasming hard. He grunts and cums inside of you, the feeling of his seed prolonging your orgasm as you milk him dry.

When Yoongi starts to get soft he pulls out, taking a moment to admire the mess he made. "I'll be right back," he whispers, kissing your forehead and getting up.

Yoongi returns with a damp washcloth, and gently wipes off your skin. He finds you a nightgown and clean cotton panties.

"Here, let me help you get these on," he says, his touch gentle. "There you go, that's it," he murmurs.

Yoongi kisses your forehead before asking, "Do you want me to stay or should I go?"

You tiredly rub your eyes as he helps you under your covers. "Stay and cuddle?" You ask hopefully.

Yoongi gives you a wonderfully gummy smile as he puts his boxers on and slips into bed with you. He gently pulls you into his arms, and you easily fall asleep.

#ksmutclub #bts smut #bts fic #yoongi smut #ot7 smut #ot7 x reader

[patheticfrogarchive]

i hate my job so much like i hate it SO much im in the target pets department and like, idk if any of yall have worked for target (dont) but im the Dedicated Business Owner (TM) which basically just means im responsible for stocking the area and shit. ANYWAY i am STRUGGLING every single day to do all my work and i never get it all done anyway like i am running my ass all over the store trying to do the 600 tasks they throw at me every minute and like theres SO much shit like theres too much theres litearlly no enough room for it all. like i am quite literally out of backroom stocking space and you wanna know what they tell me when i say “uhh im outta room what do i do” they just go “oh wow. we’ll worry about that later” LIKE HELLO??? ARE YOU FUCKING ME???? ARE YOU EATING MY ASS RN??????????? I HAVE 1000+POUNDS OF DOG FOOD IN THE WAY AND UR TELLING ME TO DEAL WITH IT LATER??? YOUVE BEEN TELLING ME THAT FOR 2 MONTHS NOW????

not to MENTION the fact that im not very physically strong and they expect me to be moving LITERAL thousands of pounds of cat litter all over the place BY MYSELF in less than an hour and when i say “um im struggling to do this, any chance I could get some help? or do you have any advice?” THEY LOOK AT ME LIKE IM THE INSANE ONE!!!! AND THEN DONT GIVE ME HELP OR ADVICE!!!

dont even get me STARTED on the shitty fucking HR department. this bitch never answers her goddamn emails and has no joke been on vacation 3 times in the past 4 weeks like BITCH WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!!!! NOT UR JOB THATS FOR SURE!!!

like i was literally wheezing my way thru work today running all over the place VERY CLEARLY struggling to do all this work and having a hard time lifting 50 pounds above my head on my own and one of my team leaders walked by, just kinda looked at me struggling and went “huh. tough day huh :/” and i was like “YEAH. ANY UPDATE ON THAT SECOND EMPLOYEE I WAS PROMISED???” and he just went “uhhh yeah next week” even tho i was promised some help ALREADY A WEEK AGO

like its gotten to the point where im honestly hoping that im falling behind enough that theyre gonna fire me. like yes i like money but god i hate it there so much. 

ALSO the fact that ive only worked there 8 months and ive already gone thru at least 3 different managers. hell store. i hope it explodes. everyone there is so fucking stupid oh my god 

and then this one fucking bitch beatrice talks down to me SO much i hate it i wanna beat her stupid face in. you know when like, people will talk to you in That way like, when you have obvious social problems and theyll talk to you like youre some kind of freak, like ttheyre very condescending. yeah she talks to me like that ALL the time and it pisses me off and i hate her so goddamn much and fucking mark doesnt wear his goddamn mask and looks at me like im crazy and almost every single person who works there is so fucking stupid they just throw trash all over the place and GOD. its literally one big huge mess i fucking hate it im literally so angry all the time. the other day some fuckhead ran into my cart, knocked everything over, looked at it went “oh. my bad” AND THEN JUST FUCKING WALKED OFF???? THIS ONE BITCH KEEPS SLAMMING DOORS IN MY FACE??????? MY GODDAMN TEAM LEADERS NEVER FUCKING ANSWER THE WALKIE TALKIE WHEN I CALL THEM WHEN I NEED THEM, BUT GET UP MY ASS WHEN I DONT ANSWER IMMEDIATELY????

THEY HAVE THE BALLS TO SIT THERE ADN TELL ME “WE DONT WANT U TO FEEL OVERWHELMED :(” BUT DONT ACTUALLY DO ANYTHING TO HELP ME!!!!!!! i honestly want the store to burn down like please please please manifesting very evil energies towards my target rn please please die die die

#debbie and trevor exempt those two are the only ones i trust #GOD i hate it so much i literally wanna get fired #like im not gonna go out of my WAY to get fired but if they fire me. i will party ngl #personal #anyway if you read this im sorry but i just have a lot of rage inside of me

[messagefromtheveins]

Heartbeats (DLS Special)

A/N: I... honestly don’t know what to say. Sorry I can’t let go of this series yet? Sorry for forcing an other part on to you? Idk. I would highly recommend that you read DLS first (if you haven’t already) before you read this little fic. Also, please keep in mind that this is the third (what the hell is wrong with me?) alternative ending :)

Words: 1.6k

Pairing: Shawn/Reader, Cez/Reader

Your T-shirt- that didn't even belong to you- was stretched tight over your belly, his gentle hand rubbing in slow and calming circles over the bump. Every now and then a little foot kicked his palm, which made both of you smile widely every time it happened. You were laying on your back on the big king sized bed, his body twisted so he had perfect access to your stomach while also being able to see the TV, your favorite movie playing on the huge screen.

You were on the verge of falling asleep when a sound coming from outside of the bedroom startled you awake again. "Shhhh," he placed a tender kiss on your temple, your eyelids fluttering open right when the bedroom door opened almost silently.

Shawn looked exhausted, but the second his eyes landed on the view in front of him he couldn't help but grin widely. "Hi, guys," Shawn whispered and quietly closed the door again. His eyes widened as he realized that you were moving to get up. "Woah, stop right there, hon. You stay right where you are," he shook his head and quickly approached the bed before you could actually attempt to get up. "Aren't you on strict bed rest?"

"I was told to take it easy and relax. No one ever said I have to stay in bed," you sighed and rolled your eyes while Shawn crawled on the bed, "you two are so dramatic about this."

"We just want you and the baby to be happy and healthy," Cez told you before he turned his attention to Shawn, "don't worry. I made sure she stayed in bed most of the time."

Shawn chuckled softly as he noticed you pouting, stretching out beside you and placing a soft kiss on your pouty bottom lip. "I can see that," he grinned and looked at Cez, "has she been like that the whole time?"

The groan Cez released was so exaggerated that you almost laughed, but managed to keep your composure- and your pout. "The whole time," he complained. Two pairs of arms immediately wrapped around you as you huffed and moved to sit up, keeping you pinned to the bed. "We already thought you wouldn't make it home until sometime tomorrow," Cez said as Shawn carefully pushed the hem of your T-shirt up, leaving it bunched up below your chest.

His eyes were full of wonder as he carefully rubbed his hand over the bump. "I would've spent five more hours in that airport if it meant that I can catch the first flight back and come home to you guys as soon as possible," he murmured and wriggled down the bed until he was on eye-level with your belly. His flight had been delayed for an insanely long time due to the horrible weather, and even though people had told him to get a hotel room for the night and to try to get on another flight when the weather had cleared up again, he had stayed at the airport. He had refused to leave and possibly miss the first available flight back home. Which was why he had spent seven hours in a crowded airport while he had desperately hoped that the storm would finally pass.

Gently combing his messy hair back, you smiled as he carefully rested his cheek against your bump and looked up to you and Cez. "You should be careful, Shawn," you warned him, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

"Why? What's going on?"

"The baby has been-" before you managed to finish your sentence you felt the kick, quickly followed by Shawn grimacing and Cez chuckling, "- kicking up a storm today," you finished with a quiet giggle.

"Ouch," Shawn muttered and pulled back, rubbing his cheek where a little foot had just surprisingly forcefully hit him.

Coming home that afternoon reminded you of the dog you had as a child. One day she had run away and you had spent hours running through town searching for her, just to come back home to find her sitting in front of the door, waiting to be let in. That was the first thing you thought of as you looked up from rummaging through your bag to get your keys to find the two guys sitting in front of your door, both of their eyes wide and hopeful as they caught sight of you.

Your heart skipped at least two beats and you stopped in your steps while they quickly got up, never taking their eyes off you. Shawn was the first one to speak up, breathing your name with so much adoration in his barely audible voice that you got goosebumps. But then a smile spread over your lips as you took in their attire.

They were both wearing the same T-shirt, Shawn in white and Cez in black. Raising an amused eyebrow, you looked back and forth between them, a sheepish grin spreading over Cez's lips while Shawn scratched the back of his neck. "We didn't get a chance to change since we noticed it," Cez explained, a faint blush settling on his cheeks.

Seeing them like this, especially without any warning, made you feel so torn. On one hand you were so happy to have your favorite boys near you again. On the other hand it made your heart ache to see them. It reminded you of all the random moments you had experienced with them, all the giggly moments backstage and the lazy hangouts in hotel rooms. All the moments you had missed out on ever since you had left the crew months ago.

"Darling," Cez murmured as he noticed your eyes getting teary, a worried expression settling on Shawn's features.

Stepping closer, you pushed past them to get to your front door, quickly unlocking it- even though your fingers were trembling- before you looked over your shoulder. "Come on, let's go inside."

You woke up sometime in the middle of the night to something tickling your stomach, about to open your eyes when you realized that Shawn and Cez were both awake. "... could've been there for the last appointment."

"Hey," Cez spoke up in a firm and yet quiet voice, "don't beat yourself up over the fact that you weren't able to be there. The baby is just as healthy and growing as it has been at the last appointment. You really didn't miss much."

"I know," Shawn sighed. A hand gently caressed your bump and you were almost sure it was Shawn's. "I just want to be there every step of the way. Being gone for two weeks and coming home to find her so much further along really fucking sucks," he grumbled almost angrily, the kiss he placed on your bump the complete opposite- tender and so full of love.

"Will you believe me if I tell you that really, nothing exciting has happened in the two weeks while you've been gone?"

"Will you promise me that you're honest with me?" You could almost hear Shawn pout. It made you want to smile, but you forced yourself to keep pretending you were asleep.

"I promise," Cez chuckled. "The most exciting thing that happened was really just the fact that I had to run to the grocery store four times to get more gummy bears at the most ridiculous times," he told Shawn, "I swear, if she keeps eating those red gummy bears our kid will come out a funny color."

You bit the inside of your cheek to keep yourself from laughing, which only got harder as Shawn laughed loudly. Once his laughter died down silence settled in the room, tender hands caressing your bump. "This still feels like the best dream ever," Shawn sighed, your toes curling as his hair tickled your stomach, warm lips peppering a few soft kisses over your skin.

"It's so incredible that we got our girl back, huh?" Cez whispered, gentle fingers brushing your hair back.

The mattress dipped as Shawn shifted around beside you. "She's glowing, isn't she?" Shawn whispered. You could almost feel his eyes on you. "I feel like she's even more beautiful since she's pregnant." Cez hummed in agreement, followed by Shawn giggling. "And she's such a terrible actor. Since when are you awake, honey?"

Unable to stop yourself from grinning anymore, you let your lips curve upwards while your eyes opened. The bedside lamp on Cez's side was on, bathing the room in a warm orange glow. Shawn was sitting on his knees beside you, Cez propped up on an elbow on your other side, both of them looking at you with amused eyes. "Long enough to confirm that I've really just been grumpy and eating too many gummy bears during those two weeks," you answered, placing a hand on your bump as you moved to sit up. The fact that you immediately had two hands on your back to support you made you smile.

"Where are you going?" Cez asked as you clumsily crawled off the bed and adjusted your T-shirt- who the hell did this T-shirt belong to? You had no idea if it was Cez's or Shawn's- so it fully covered your stomach again.

"You really think you can mention gummy bears and expect that I don't want some?" you responded while already stepping out of the room, hearing both of them chuckle inside the bedroom before soft footsteps followed you into the kitchen.

S.Mendes+Team Taglist: @justanotherfangurl272 @alone-in-madness @waitonmedarling @shawnase @rechema @mendesromano @stradivariusbitch @desire-to-live @alinashawn @lifeoftheparty74 @particularstrings @liliane106 @herbeautifuldarkness @havethetimeeofyourlifee @pastelshawns @delightfullyspeedyearthquake @aargyy @adelaidebaby @mchutchmendes @as-she-pleases @my-elevenoutof10 @fluffsshawn @bensbuttercup @i-play-video-games @narrystoran4eva @learning-howto-be-myselfx3 @hugefangirl-22 @september-lace

DLS Taglist: @someoneunimportantxx @shawn-mendes-thirst @hi-my-name-is-cass @beingmadisntalwaysbad @perfectywrong @selenesybill @dylshoney @unicorn-glitter-princess @darlingimmafangirl @mutuallynotmutual @annabeille @justapersonoutthere @foulbonknickelangel @1dbetch @manar-sabahi @ruin-me-mendes @professionalfangirl16 @shawnmcmendes @itrocksmysocks @letsmon15 @peruvian-bae @mendezlatte @someweirdimagination @shawnsparticulargirl @screechinggoonwagonpeach @mx-and-mb

(feel free to message me if you want to be moved/removed)

#DLS IS BACK!!!! #WHEEEEEEEE #shawn mendes #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes fluff #shawn mendes blurb #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn mendes fic #shawn peter raul mendes #shawn mendes writing #cez darke #cez darke writing #cez darke fanfiction #cez darke fic #writing

[mothereffingtae]

Bread In The Oven [M] : KSJ

PAIRING. seokjin x reader

SUMMARY. the years of Seokjin’s hard work in the bakery finally payed off once it was awarded for its outstanding performance. What will your award be for him?

GENRE. crack humour (idk what I was doing), small smut, friends to lovers

WORD COUNT. 4958

Lecture tomorrow morning, food nutrition project due this week... and... what else... The movement of pen on paper slows to a complete stop. A sweet scent of honey and almonds has made its way into your room indicating that your roommate has been experimenting in the kitchen. Its smell too enticing to not see what has been baked. As you make your way down the stairs, you spot a glimpse of freshly made croissants and your feet move into autopilot mode making a beeline for the pastries.

“Yah! These literally just came out of the oven 30 seconds ago!” Jin exclaims as he turns around to see you scoffing down his new creations. “For a person studying to become a nutritionist, you seem to have a solid diet of mainly pastries.” He chuckles to himself while leaning against the counter watching you.

“Shut the fuck up Kim Seokjin.”

“You’re denying it.”

“Okay fine, my diet is as trashy as the Pacific Garbage Patch but it’s your fault for making big batches of pastries literally everyday.” You say with half a croissant in your mouth and the other half accusingly pointing at him.

His hands come up in the air to surrender, “Sure it is my fault that you have no self- OW WHAT WAS THAT FOR?” The croissant that was once in your hand was now lying on the kitchen floor after bouncing off his face.

“That was for making these binge worthy pieces of dough!” You state whilst grabbing two other croissants in each hand and storming back up the stairs, leaving Seokjin in the kitchen.

“I bet you’ll enjoy those!” He was right, that’s for sure.

“Y/N WHAT’S UP!” Comes out of nowhere while you were walking along the campus field.

“It is 9 in the morning what do you want Mark?” You eye the Canadian foreign student who you adore and loath.

“Do you have those croissants Seokjin made?” He cuts infront of you to give those damn puppy eyes that’s impossible to resist. Ugh, you need to stop eating pastries anyways. You throw the container into his chest, the two connecting with a thud.

“Y/N stop abusing the child.” You hear a faint voice to your left.

“Oh god not you too.” You groan.

“Hey Jungkook!” Mark energetically waves his container full of croissants in the air which catches Jungkook’s attention. Soon enough you have the two young boys stuffing their face in what was supposed to be your mid-morning snack.

“Children,” you tease them, “slow down or else you’re going to puke that all up.”

“That’s, okay... makes room... for more.” Jungkook mumbles between bites. 

Oh dear lord, how will you survive this lecture?

News flash, you barely came out of that lecture alive. Both Mark and Jungkook were constantly pestering you to go to the bakery with them so they could get your discount. A discount? Yeah, a discount. One that is only given when Seokjin is working in the bakery, which is usually everyday.

The door chimes ring as the three of you enter and Seokjin’s head snaps to greet the customer aka you guys with his award winning “welcome to The Bread Box how may I help you smile” drilled into his face. But his mouth widens to a grin when you locks eyes with you.

“Oh isn’t it my favourite customer!” He booms while smiling at you.

“Me hyung? Oh gee thanks.” Jungkook remarks which earns an elbow into his ribs from you. You patiently wait for the two to pick out their food but Mark and Jungkook stand in front of the display looking completely dumbfounded and silent.

“Well what’s the problem?” You question while gesturing to the baked goods,

“Too many options.” Mark mumbles wide-eyed.

“Take your pick. That’s what we came here for you bafoons.” You state and Seokjin faintly chuckles on the other side of the counter.

As you watch the two males slowly choose their food another voice booms from behind the counter, “Ah, isn’t it MY favourite customer!” You turn to see your friend, your ride or die, your favourite Kim you tease Soekjin - Kim Namjoon.

“I didn’t know you were working today!” You shriek while trying to reach over the counter for a hug.

“Yeah, the manager called me last minute so here I am.” He says while gesturing to the whole store with open arms.

“Y/N we’re done picking!” Mark’s voice chimes. You turn away from Namjoon to be met with an apologetic but steel-eyed Seokjin holding a hefty bag full of pastries. He tried to give you the biggest discount possible without being too obvious.

Once you paid for the food, the door chimes ring as the door opens to introduce the sound of girls chattering. As they passed you, you saw that all of them looked gorgeous and you couldn’t help but send a wink to Seokjin who turned pink in the ears. How he manages to become so flustered around girls amazes you. 

“Have fun with them.” You whisper to him before you wave the Kim’s a goodbye and leaving a red eared and flustered Seokjin to deal with the giggling girls.

The next day the door of The Bread Basket chimes again. You scanned the area to spot Seokjin’s broad shoulders moving back and forth as he worked with dough. He was a master with his hands and a master with food. 

When you first moved in with him, there were 2 other people-Hoseok and Jisoo-until the left. The first few weeks you were extremely shy being around so many new faces. However, Seokjin tried his best to make you comfortable by baking you insane amounts of goodies that a reasonable person would never eat in one day, let alone a week. That’s how you found out he’s been working at that bakery ever since his senior year in high school.

Baking was in his blood and it was his passion.

You took homage in your usual window seat and whipped out all your school work. This was the best place for you to focus. It may seem odd because the constant smell of bread would make anyones stomach rumble. But you took a liking to the cute aura, plus the manager and all the staff took a liking in you as well.

At some point in the middle of your studies, the door chimes jingled and the same girls from yesterday poured through the entrance. Ugh, the groupies you decided to call them. From the information Seokjin told you last night, they’re clawing for his attention to only leave empty handed. For Christ’s sake if you’re going to try so hard to hold a 15 minute conversation with him, give some damn money.

“Jinnniiieee!” A girl squeals.

Oh god.

Your hands gripped harder on the pencil to the point where your fingers and knuckles were turning white. “Oh Seokjin it smells so good in here!” 

BLAH! Not to over-exaggerate but you wanted to rip out the ribs from your chest and hit them with it. 

The way all the girls tried so hard to grab his attention makes you wonder who you actually pity. The girls or Seokjin? Yes, the girls are very upfront with their admiration towards the man you’ll give them that, but he’s too oblivious and innocent to their actions.

Seokjin offers them his customer service smile and cheerful replies, “The bread just got out of the oven a couple minutes ago!” You watched the scene unfold from afar and it makes you smile how passionate he is for his love of baking.

He offers the ladies some samples. This causes a flurry of squeals and inhumane sounds come from the group which causes you to cradle your head in your hands. 

At least they’ll leave soon, you think to yourself.

It’s been an hour and they’re still there.

Your pencil and paper has broken and ripped at least 40 times within those precious sixty minutes where you could have done decent work. However, thanks to those love-stricken girls, you had no chance of focusing on the task in front of you. Seokjin happened to see your stressed state and tried to subtly kick the girls out of The Bread Basket but it didn’t work for a couple of tries.

Once they finally left, you fell back in you chair and let out a big sigh of relief, “Thank God! I was about to stab one of them with my dull pencil.”

He chuckled to himself, “Exactly why I tried to get them out. Didn’t want to be part of a crime scene you know?” His classic smirk’s plastered across his face. “But they are very clingy and kind of, I guess, annoying.”

“You guess?! Dude!” You jump up and walk towards the counter, “They’re so into you! They all like you a lot!”

“Of course they all like me, who doesn’t? OW I swear to God stop hitting me.”

“You need to ask one of them out or something like that so they would stop trying to grab your attention.” You tell him, to which his whole body goes rigid as a response. “What? Don’t like girls? That’s totally cool you know, I’ve never seen you with one, sorry for assuming. You know you and Namjoon look-”

“I’m not gay you idiot.” He hits you with the towel that he usually wipes the counters with, “it’s just I don’t like them.”

“Then tell them that! Life for you and me would be so much easier with them gone!” You exhaust.

“What’s your issue with them? Oh wait don’t tell me...” He looks up at the ceiling with his hands over his mouth in concentration, “Ah I got it! It’s because you like me don’t you?” He concludes with a grin on his features as he leans in to challenge you.

“Okay fine! If you don’t want to kick them out then I guess you won’t see me-you know, your favourite customer-in this place again! Ugh now I would have to go to the library for a new environment.” You turn to go back to your work. 

“But honestly Jin,” your feet stop only to turn your body to face him again, “you’re very sweet and gentle with everyone but there’s a time and place to say how you actually feel, life would be so much easier.” You pack your stuff in hopes of finding a place to actually get work done.

When Seokjin enters your shared home that night, his eyes automatically land on you sprawled out on the couch, notes scattered all over the floor with your drool staining the pillow. Despite your disheveled form, the sight in front of him sends butterflies to his stomach and he couldn’t help but melt. 

In only two strides, he walks to the couch and picks you up like a bride.

You stir in his arms which causes him to halt his movements, but once you appeared to find a comfortable position in his hold, he begins to walk upstairs to your bedroom. He nearly trips, but he gets there.

As he lays you down on your bed, he soaks in the view before him. He thinks it’s illegal for someone to look that good even with the moonlit drool falling down your chin. He then realizes you were wearing the clothes that engulfed your frame was the same ones you wore in the bakery.

“Always working too hard to care for yourself.” He sighs to himself, but he admires that trait of yours. He gets up to make himself ready for bed but as he steps out the doorway he looks back at you and his breath catches in his throat.

The pale moonlight catches you at the right angle that paints shadows across your face in a way that made it look like Leonardo DaVinci did it himself.

He is in trouble for sure.

“Hey, Y/N” Seokjin approaches you slowly at the dining table.

“What do you want now?” You slur with your mouth full of bread causing crumbs to project from your mouth and nearly hit his face as he takes a seat in front of you. His body is still as he sits there looking down at his hands as if he was about to confess a heavy secret. “Woah hold on here,” His eyes shoot up to meet yours like a deer in headlights. “Did you murder someone because you look awfully pale and I’m not about to be an accessory.”

His head falls back as he lets out a big sigh, “Why did I even let you become a roommate?”

“To pay rent.”

As he looks back up, his eyes mirror anxiousness despite your attempt at a light hearted joke. “Uhm- I- there’s...” You nod your head encouraging him to formulate a real sentence. “So, the bakery I work at-you know that one right?” You hum in agreement, “well, we just won an award-”

“WAIT WHAT!” You stand up in disbelief and run over to attack him with a hug. You release him but grip onto his shoulders as you shake him back and forth, “That’s amazing Jinnie! Why did you look so nervous before telling me?”

“Well if you let me finish I would’ve told you.” He chuckles.

“Oh - yeah sorry about that but please continue!”

“We are being visited by the Mayor next week in this event to celebrate our acknowledgment from the national food network. The thing is... how do I word this correctly...  I want to, you know, find a date.” He finishes it off with a cringe in his voice and face.

You’re so dumbfounded because there’s too much information processing in your head: there’s the Mayor, the food network, and then some sort of date conundrum! You end up just staring at him for a bit until you understand his somewhat of a dilemma. “And the problem is?”

“I can’t find a date.”

“HOLD UP! How can YOU not find a date! You are literally the girl magnet in this town. Just walk down the street and maybe you’ll find someone. Wait! Even better! Ask one of your regular groupies to go with you!” You’re on your feet pacing around the dining room by the end of your speech.

“Okay, one, I’m not paying anyone to go with me, two, they’re not groupies-”

“That’s debatable.” You interject.

“-and three, I was kind of hoping you would come with me.”

You stop dead in your tracks. Hesitantly, you turn around to see Seokjin’s eyes swirl with anxiousness and worry. If he was joking, he surely delivered it poorly. “Are you sure?” You question.

“What do you mean ‘are you sure?’ Of course I’m sure you dumbass! I would love to have you beside me!” He exasperated.

“Woah, you were literally all meek and shy just a couple of seconds ago.” You laugh, “I was just making sure, but yes,” you grab his hands in yours to dramatize the moment, “I would be honoured to be your date.” By now you’re showing off a huge, goofy grin. His eyes warm into a chocolate brown as he takes in your cheery features. The way you never fail to make him smile amazes him, but your ability to make him so anxious also amazes and scares him. 

FUCK 

Why do you have such an effect on him?

The morning after Seokjin’s invitation, you pull up into the parking lot in front of the mall.

“Why did you park so far away?” Jisoo whined.

“Got to get those ten thousand steps in.”

Once entering the mall, you slow down your steps, contemplating where to start. Before you could think, Jisoo already has a death grip on your arm pulling you towards what she calls “the best place to shop for dresses.”

Well, she was right. All the dresses in the huge store ranged from elementary graduation to dick appointment type of dresses. Jisoo-being the friend she is-handed you the latter.

“Jisoo! I’m not trying to get into his or anyone’s pants!” You squeal as you grab the dress from her hands and shove it back onto the rack.

“Damn girl I was just trying to help you get the night of your life okay?”

“Thank you, but no thank you.” You state. “I don’t like the guy like that and he doesn’t like me like that either.”

“That was way to many ‘likes’ in one sentence, I honestly didn’t understand what you were trying to say.”

You hit her in the arm with a hanger as a response. “Long story short, we don’t have any feelings for each other.” No response comes for a while so you turn to see if she was still beside you. You come to face a dead-panned Jisoo looking far from impressed with your statement. “What?”

“Girl, you are literally blind! He likes you! I could tell by the moment you stepped into the apartment that he has fallen into a deep hole.” She exasperates, drawing in some strange looks from other shoppers. “Trust me, I’m picking a dress for you and it will DEFINITELY prove that he has feelings for you.”

Shit. Why did Jisoo have to convince you to pick this dress. Yes, it was gorgeous on you. Yes, it hugged all the right place, but you were scared it was going to draw too much attention. You’re not even sure if it’s appropriate attire to meet the mayor in.

It was a long silk dress in the colour of dark mahogany. It hugged you at your waist, hips and thighs and slightly flared out once it hit your knees. The thin straps and low neckline would give people a little tease of what’s under there, but not enough to cause people to give you dirty stares - well, hopefully.

As you take one more look in the mirror, your palms begin to become clammy. What if Seokjin doesn’t like it? What if it’s too much? What if... no, forget it, just get out there. You grab your matching clutch purse and leave.

When turning around the corner to reach the stairs, you spot him at the bottom in front of the mirror touching up his appearance. He’s dressed in a full tux with his hair brushed away from his forehead. 

“You clean up nice.” You comment.

“Of course I do, I’m-” His words get caught in his throat and his jaw drops as he takes in your appearance. You unmistakably see him gulp and it increases your ego a little bit. “You look beautiful.”

Blood rushes to your cheek and you look down to hide the evidence, “Uh- thank you.” Seokjin can feel the blood rushing through his body, primarily the lower region. His first instinct was to start panicking because who wants to have a boner in front of their best friend? The only reasonable thing he could think of doing is slapping himself in the face. You nearly double over in laughter, “Are you good?”

“Yeah, just making sure I’m not dreaming. I’ve never seen you look half-decent before.” He jokes which earns him a hit in the arm and he exaggerates the pain.

“Y/N,” he extends his right elbow, “it would be an honour to escort you out.”

You jokingly curtsy, which accidentally exposed a little more cleavage, and you loop your arm through his.

This is going to be a long night for Seokjin.

“Holy shit holy shit holy shit!” You repeat like a mantra while hitting Seokjin’s arm.

“Yah! What’s with you and abusing me?” Seokjin looks at you paranoid.

“It’s the mayor and it looks like he’s coming here.” Seokjin’s eyes follow where yours are looking and finds that you are indeed correct. Automatically Seokjin pulls off his signature smile and extends a hand for the mayor to shake.

“Ah, you must be Seokjin! I’ve heard you’re a big name in The Bread Basket, I can assume you’re the popular baker everyone talks about - especially the girls.” The mayor jokes in which Seokjin shuffles in his spot uncomfortably.

“Ha ha heh, I guess so.” Seokjin replies.

“Well, who is this fine, young woman?” The mayor extends his hand to you to which you take as if it was a quick shake but he takes it to kiss the back of your hand.

“I’m his friend.” You reply with a bright smile.

The exchange between the three of you continues for a decent time. You and mayor start a good conversation about your shared interest in food and nutritional facts of the catered food while Seokjin adds short remarks every now and then. Unfortunately for you, the mayor had to leave and he went in for a friendly hug with you and Seokjin.

Once he turned away Seokjin breathed out a big huff of air. “I’ve never felt like shitting my pants before but now I can finally check that off the list. By the way, how were you so calm with him?” He questions as you begin to walk around the venue.

“I honestly don’t know. I guess my degree is paying off.” You reply with a shrug.

“I wish I could be like you.” He says.

“Aw thanks Jinnie, that’s probably the nicest thing you’ve said to me.” You joke. You two continue walking around and talking to other people and the media for an hour or so until you make yourselves comfortable on a patio looking out at the glimmering lake. Thankfully, you two were the only ones occupying that space which was a nice contrast to the buzzing main hall.

You’re leaning against the railing while Seokjin is sitting on a chair by the door, both of you were exhausted from the socializing. Seokjin’s eyes lazily traces your silhouette that was drawn by the moonlight. Gosh, you were a view to take in. How you don’t have a boyfriend surprises him, but he’s grateful for that. 

His eyes trace a path from the crown of your head, down the hair that is swooped over your shoulder, to the exposed line down your back all the way to your ass - in which he stops himself because he knows he shouldn’t be checking out his best friend; yet there he was.

As you were looking towards the horizon where the water meets the sky, you felt the presence of eyes boring to the skin on your back. You knew it was Seokjin staring at you, yet again. You caught him staring at you multiple times in your peripheral vision but didn’t bother confronting him about it. Maybe it’s the fancy occasion, the amount of champagne you drank, or the fact that he looks extremely fine in a fully tux, but you actually love the fact that he’s been staring at you. 

Thank you Jisoo for picking this dress.

“Hey Seokjin,” you look at him over your shoulder.

“Yes Y/N?” He sits up straighter in his chair.

“Do you want to go back home?”

The drive back was somewhat tense to say the least. Seokjin looked awfully stiff while holding the steering wheel. Little did you know, he was partially aroused by the way your breasts would softly move up and down by the slightest cracks in the road. He scowled at himself for being perverted around his best friend.

You had somewhat pieced together what the situation was but didn’t jump to conclusions. You tested the waters by leaning your elbow against the ledge of car door to expose more skin. When nothing seemed to change, you began to “stretch” - also known as a whole lot of back arching and shoving your chest towards the sky.

One particular side glance from Seokjin nearly caused him to swerve the car. Your hands were gripping the sides of the car seat beside your legs, your back arched in a way the made your breasts look three times bigger, and the slight whine in the back of your throat made all the blood rush to his dick.

“Fuck” He muttered but you heard and feigned innocence by asking him what’s wrong. Fucking tease, he knew exactly what you were doing so he pushed the gas a little harder. Your antics still continued and you couldn’t decide whether it was the champagne or the new aroused feeling pushing you further.

Those last 10 minutes were probably the most sexually frustrated you’ve ever been and you predict you could say the same for Jin. His hard-on wasn’t exactly difficult to spot in the moonlight. Both of you were buzzing with the alcohol. Both of you were stealing glances.

Both of you wanted each other.

So it wasn’t a surprise that when you entered your shared home, you quickly found your bare skin against the bed sheets with Seokjin’s head in between your thighs. The sounds of his tongue working against your clit and slit sounded anything but holy, but god does it send you to heaven.

“Mmf-f-fuck Soekjin.” You breathe out. His tongue moves against your lower lips in a way that has you gripping and pulling on his hair even harder. He looks up at you with mischief in his eyes while his lips and chin glisten with your wetness.

Fuck.

You toss your head back at the sight, you honestly could’ve came just by looking at the sinful view in front of you.

“I never knew you would taste so good Y/N” he breathes against your heat which causes you to lift your hips towards his mouth out of greed. “Tsk Tsk, you were never good with patience.” He states as he climbs on top of you to place a firm kiss on your lips, giving you a taste of yourself. Your hand comes up to caress his arms and moves to the base of his nape, combing through the short hairs. He breaks the kiss and leans his forehead against your, eyes burning into one another with passion and lust.

His actions slowly came to a full halt as you continued to look at each other. “Are you okay? Do you want to stop this?” You question while holding his cheek.

He kisses the inside of your palm. “No, I’m just trying not to rush this. I’ve liked you for a really long time and-”

“Shh, I like you too. We can talk about this after but right now I’m in dire need for your dick to be inside of me right now.”

Seokjin groans at your statement while he buried his face in your neck. You also noted the twitch you felt against your thighs. “You can’t just say stuff like that.”

“Well you cant just eat me out like that and try to hold a conversation with me after.”

He chuckles, “Touché. But are you sure you want this?” He asks with concern swimming through his words.

You lean in and take his lips in a deep kiss, “yes”.

The wait to have his length inside you was excruciating. You were getting impossibly wet just thinking about his dick, you always wondered what it would feel like to have him inside-

“Oh fuck!” You moan as he pushes himself inside of you.

“Shit sorry are you okay?”

“Yeah, keep going it feels so fucking good-mmf” your words are slowly slurring together as he picks up the pace.

The feeling of his skin against yours and him inside of you was unimaginable. It exceeded your expectation and dreams. Yes, you dreamt about this moment. You dreamt about it too often and your dreams finally came true. Seokjin ended up having you come three times and topped your list for most mind-blowing sex you’ve ever experienced. Your chest heaved up and down as he walked away to only come back with a towel to help clean you off.

The consequences of what just unfolded started to float in your mind. You toyed with confronting him while he was cleaning you up, but was that too weird? Tomorrow is an option but that might be awkward to bring it up again. Maybe-

“Hey,” Seokjin interrupts your train of thought as he sinks in the bed beside you, “don’t think about it too much, just know that this didn’t mean nothing to me and you hold a special place in my heart.”

You smile at his statement, “this didn’t mean nothing to me either.” You moved forward to press your lips against his.

“Well,” Seokjin pulls back with a wide grin. “I guess that settles it then. Nice talk!” He jokes.

You hit him in the chest, “I was being sincere!”

“I know you are, but i don’t know how to wrap around the fact that I finally have the chance to call you mine.” He says in disbelief.

You two stay in comfortable silence in each other’s arms until he breaks the silence. “Hey, I just want to say...” He pauses as if he’s searching for the right words. 

“Thank you for eating all my creations.” 

To say you laughed out a lung is an understatement.

“Why are you laughing? You helped me create all those recipes for The Bread Basket! You also told me to speak out how I truly feel and now you’re laughing at me? I’m hurt.” He places a hand over his heart to emphasize his pain.

You continue wheezing and wiping the tears off your face. “I just expected you to say a shitty joke like ‘I got to put the bread in the oven’.”

“I mean,” He says while placing his hands behind his head and smugly looking at you, “I accomplished that too.”

A/N. if you ended up getting to this point I want to thank you for reading it! This is my first time writing smut so it 9/10 is pretty shitty. Anyways hope you enjoyed it, feedback/constructive criticism is greatly appreciated !!

#bts #bts fanfic #bts imagine #bts imagines #bts scenarios #bts scenario #bts smut #bts fluff #bts jin #bts seokjin #bts kim seokjin #seokjin #kim seokjin #kim seokjin imagine #kim seokjin x reader #seokjin x reader #jin x reader #jin x you #kim seokjin x you #kim seokjin imagines #seokjin smut #jin smut #kim seokjin smut #kim seokjin fluff #seokjin fluff #jin fluff

[itsclydebitches]

Lovely Good Omens fandom! Many of you have asked for/mentioned having a text version of the Yelp reviews, which if I were a better person I would have remembered to include in the first place. Better late than never? So here’s a version below and I also threw this up on AO3 so there are options. For the record, I’m not at all trained in transcribing visual media, so if anyone wants to add to/edit/do whatever to this post, especially to make it more accessible, you have carte blanche to do so 👍

Also I typed this up in a hurry so, as always, apologies for any typos. 

Tagging: @lethargicdolphin, @marithlizard, @pearwaldorf

A.Z. Fell and Co. Antiquarian and Unusual Books 

Recommended Reviews 

Lindsay F. 

London, United Kingdom 

71 friends

3000 reviews

9874 photos

So I slipped into this place because I spotted my ex across the street and would have rather chugged a cocktail of bleach, lighter fluid, and a condensed solution of all my middle school years then talk to that asshole. Owner was on me the second I walked through the door and I thought he was gonna be one of those ‘Either buy something or get out’ types. Nah. I spilled the story, said I really wasn’t looking to purchase anything, and he LIT UP like nobody’s business. He gave me tea and promised I’d never run into my ex again. Which is a super sketchy promise on its own and also should have been hilarious coming from a guy a century behind in style.

...Kinda believed him though. 

Marina G. 

London, United Kingdom 

0 friends

33 reviews

48 photos

Pretty sure this guy wants a library, not a bookshop. I mean, he’s nice and all when you first come in, but trying to actually buy a book? Good fucking luck. He’s too busy to see you right now (for the record he’s super bad at pretending to be busy). Or claims that this book has already been put on reserve (then why wasn’t it in the reserve pile...?). Or the price suddenly jumped an obscene amount. Or he just straight up hems and haws until you get fed up and leave. I watched him pull a novel straight out of a woman’s hands once when she claimed that price was no object and she wouldn’t be leaving the store until she’d purchased it. You’d think she was trying to kidnap one of the guy’s kids!

So yeah. Feel like popping in to browse, maybe take pictures for your research, all while making quiet conversation with someone who quite frankly knows his stuff? This is the place for you. Want to actually buy something? Go elsewhere. Pretty sure Fell doesn’t even own a cash register. At least I’ve never seen one. 

He wants a library and I’d honestly tell him as much if he didn’t scare me just a little bit...

Aaron S. 

New York, NY

68 friends

212 reviews 

337 photos

I stayed here for three days once. Found a bathroom off the romance section and a chair hidden away in the back. Way comfier than my mattress at home. Mostly played iPhone games and kept real quiet at night. Experiment ended when I popped out for breakfast and didn’t make it back before a random 10:00am closing. Don’t think the owner ever realized what was up. 

Hana S. 

London, United Kingdom 

112 friends

115 reviews

208 photos

I really love this place. I’ve been coming here since I moved to London, about twelve years ago, and it’s one of the most soothing bookstores I’ve ever had the pleasure of visiting. Yeah, you hear talk of weird things going on at Fell’s, but really? We could all do with a bit more quirky in our lives. And Fell provides that in spades: Annual plants that never seem to wither, let alone die. The smell of incense mixing with cocoa. Strange books tucked horizontally into the shelves, feeling like they have a touch of magic to them. Nonsensical conversations taking place in dark corners (I’m talking candid chats about the apocalypse and whether angels could actually bless all the rains down in Africa. I swear Fell and his boyfriend are the religion Mythbusters or something.) I’m going to sound like a total nerd here for a moment, but it feels like some sort of liminal space. You know when you were a kid and you were just desperate to receive your Hogwarts letter? Or find your own wardrobe to Narnia? That’s what walking into Fell’s feels like. Like you’ve finally found that portal and can stay as long as you like, provided you don’t try to take anything back with you into the ‘real’ world. Hell, maybe that’s why he won’t let anyone buy his books. 

Robert T. 

Union City, CA

4 friends

26 reviews

3 photos

There’s a snake?? In this shop?? A reALLY MASSIVE SNAKE????? What are y’all doing talkin’ about your meet cutes and shit someone call pest control!

Malini D. 

London, United Kingdom 

0 friends

48 reviews

99 photos

I’m not gonna pretend I have anything to say about whether this is a good bookstore or not, but if you ever want knitting help you should definitely stop by. Mr. Fell knows an absurd amount about crafts for a guy who looks like my grandpa and he’s now replaced Youtube as my go-to for alleviating “Omg please fix this how the hell did I manage to reverse the pattern??” panic. For the record, I didn’t just wander up to a random bookseller one day and demand that he help me salvage the ruins of my first sweater. I’d taken a seat inside to wait out a storm, had my messy sleeve stuffed into my purse, and he’d offered the help. Bit of a bastard about things like gauge and color--not everyone wants to wear tartan, dude--but you get used to that. He means well. Said I should come back to show him the finished piece, which I did. Things just kind of spiraled from there. He’s an absolute treasure trove of knowledge once you get him talking and a muffin to boot. If he were twenty years younger and in any way straight I would have asked him out in a heartbeat. As it is I’m considering setting him up with Grandpa. 

Tiffany L. 

London, United Kingdom 

132 friends

312 reviews

34 photos

I’m not really a book person myself but I followed my wife in with our seventh-month old and was kinda embarrassed when he started making a fuss. Normally I’m full Badass Mom mode while in public--I’ve got a kid to feed, change, sooth, and you all can damn well deal with it--but this place was so quiet Liam seemed extra loud in comparison. I was about to take him back out when a man appeared out of nowhere. The owner I guess, based on how some of these other reviews describe him. Older gentleman with clothes out of some period piece. Anyway, he scoops Liam into his arms like he was born for it and started bouncing. Our fussy, temperamental, drama queen Liam settled in an instant and my wife got to browse to her heart’s content. I don’t know how he did it, but that man is an absolute angel. Full stars for that moment alone. 

Gillian L. 

The Hague, The Netherlands

283 friends

256 reviews

60 photos

Anyone know if the old Bentley parked out front is for sale? 

Update: It’s really, really, really not 

Billy H. 

Austen, TX

40 friends

2073 reviews

774 photos

QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS SO MANY QUEER BOOKS!!!

Gabriela G. 

London, United Kingdom

3 friends

22 reviews

1 photos

Run by this delightfully frumpy guy who sometimes hands out biscuits from a sewing tin like my gran used to. He asked me if I was looking for anything in particular and I told him my name was Jared, I was 19, but sadly I’d never learned how to read. I have NEVER seen a man more confused in my life. 10/10 would meme him again. 

Colie A.

Enola, PA

201 friends

2778 reviews

10382 photos

I’m setting the record straight here since there are a bunch of reviews claiming it’s just London folklore: there is a snake at A.Z. Fell’s. Must be an exotic pet he usually keeps upstairs because I’ve only ever seen it twice. Is it big? Yes. Scary? Fuck yes, but I’ve never seen it do anything more than give a warning hiss at this drunk who wandered in and started yelling. (Are snakes good guard dogs? This one is.) The other time he was just chilling on top of one of the shelves. Snoozing, I guess. I asked Mr. Fell if I could pet him and he said maybe after he woke up, but then I had to get to class and all. 

Afraid of snakes? Steer clear. Otherwise I’d really recommend popping in and seeing if he’s around. Idk, maybe I’m just a snake fan but he looks super sweet and chill. Life is short. Boop the snake snoot. 

Jeremy W. 

London, United Kingdom 

86 friends

409 reviews

12 photos

I live down the street from A.Z. Fell’s and let me tell you, this place is spooky as fuck. All sorts of weird lights and noises coming from it. At all times of the day and night too. Either this bowtie wearing bookworm has one crazy sex life or the place is haunted. Jury’s out on which. 

Heather Ki. 

London, United Kingdom 

0 friends

3852 reviews

1 photos

This shop smells. Not that old book smell either, oh no, but like something is molding. I took my little Johnny in here to try and get him interested in something other than those damned video games and I walk into what smells like a whole cloud of toxic mold! My boy has a weak constitution as it is and if he comes down with anything I will be pressing charges, you mark my words. 

Jo. W. 

London, United Kingdom 

32 friends

410 reviews

61 photos

Hey, does anyone want to talk about the fact that this place burned down last month? As in, completely up in flames, I saw it happen, nothing but a smoking husk afterwards? Does no one else remember this??

Tiggi N. 

London, United Kingdom 

32 friends

33 reviews

24 photos

Has anyone read this guy’s opening hours? I included a photo above: “I open the shop on most days about 9:30AM perhaps 10:AM. While occasionally I have opened the shop as early as 8, I have been known not to open until 1.” Absolutely insane. This guy’s a madman and I love him. If anyone actually manages to get into this place please let me know because I need to shake Fell’s hand. 

Mackenzie J. 

City Centre, Manchester, United Kingdom 

807 friends

2592 reviews

13218 photos

I told my girlfriend this shop’s got a snake named Anthony and she didn’t believe me. Going back for proof next week. 

Update: got the snake selfie!!!!!!!!

Penny O. 

Chicago, IL

87 friends

557 reviews

16 photos

Caught the owner snogging some hot twink behind the cookbooks. Well done, my dude. 

#good omens #ineffable husbands #air conditioning #good omens fic

[purplesurveys]

656

Where is the last place you had a kiss? My girlfriend’s couch. I normally wouldn’t kiss her inside her house but we were alone, so it just happened. What did you eat for breakfast yesterday? I skipped breakfast yesterday and went straight to having a macchiato, which was a horrible idea considering I had a badddd hangover. My body made me pay for it soon enough when my stomach started unusually heating up, so I bought a sandwich by around lunch to help it feel better. When was the last time you were at an amusement park? 2013. I don’t like amusement parks so when my friends make plans I don’t go along with them. Two weeks ago I was at a school fair which kinda has the same amenities as an amusement park, but I guess it’s not the real thing so it doesn’t count. When was the last time you cried out of physical pain? Last Wednesday. My friend Leigh was trying to demonstrate for me the concept of just-noticeable difference by pinching the skin on my hand. I don’t like feeling pain anywhere on my body, so when she started amping up her pinching I had to yell out. Have you ever done anything to Support the Troops? No. Can’t relate.

Do you donate blood? Nooooo no nope. I just said I didn’t like feeling discomfort on any part of my body hahaha and getting pricked is the worst sensation for me. I wouldn’t be able to donate blood even if I wanted to either – as far as I know you have to be of a certain weight to be qualified, and I’ve never met that requirement. Are you wearing two shirts? No. It’s never too cold to be wearing two shirts here. The only time I had to really do this in a local sense was in Sagada. That weather was b r u t a l. It was the first time my dad turned on the heater in our car and I didn’t even know Filipino cars came with heaters lmaaaaaaao. This was a very long way of saying no. Have you ever owned the socks with toes on them? Never have. What were you the last time you went trick or treating? I went as my best friend at the time, Sofie. I didn’t have time (and wasn’t as extroverted as I am now) to come up with a detailed costume, so I went as her – black dress, eyebags, winged eyeliner, and thick hair that was never combed. It had the least effort of all my friends’ costumes, but I got the most compliments on social media lol. What's your favorite morning activity? I am so not a morning person, and I just like sleeping/lying in whenever I can. Can you cook? I am hopeless in that department. Is there a lot of laundry in your hamper? No. My mom’s laundry day is Friday, so it’s basically empty the whole weekend. When do you think you'll have children? In a little less than a decade, honestly. I’m pretty firm in my decision to have kids; it’s my biggest dream if anything. I mean I’m also willing to wait until I’m in my 30s because god knows how expensive everything is rapidly getting these days, but I just know I’ll end up having kids one way or another. Can you point out constellations in the night sky? No. The only thing I can safely point out for you is Orion’s Belt, and that’s because it’s essentially a giveaway lmao. What was your favorite part about studying ancient Greeks and Romans? Nothing. It’s one of my least favorite topics. The only thing that got me to enjoy them for a brief period was the Percy Jackson series, but when I finished the books my interest in that world waned fast. Have you ever eaten a gyro? Nah, but close enough – I’ve had shawarma. What's your favorite flavor of Tootsie pops? Mmmm not really a fan of Tootsie Pops, or like candy in general. What's the last thing you bought at a mall? If I remember correctly, I got a toasted siopao in Coffee Bean. Where did your mom go to high school? She went to Colegio de Santa Rosa in Makati. What's a subject you would never major in? Philosophy. My college curriculum required me to take one Philosophy elective, and not only was it the worst experience ever, but I got my second-lowest mark in college from that class. Is there someone who you can turn to for money and not be ashamed? No. I hate asking for money, even from my parents. When's the last time you took a bubble bath? A little over a year ago, probs. I love bubble baths when I manage to get settled in one, but because I’m usually in a hurry when I take showers, the concept of staying and relaxing in a bathtub is a little weird to me so I never do it haha. Have you ever swam in a river? I have photos of me when I was 1, my mom, her sisters-in-law, and their kids (my cousins) swimming in some river.  Are there any dirty clothes underneathe your bed? No. I know I could be messy, but that’s just disgusting. What food do you love the smell of while it's cooking? Curry. What food do you hate the smell of uncooked? I just hate the smell of wasabi in general. Your #2--what's their occupation? Your #3--what color are their eyes? Your #1--what cartoon character would they be? Your #4--are they allergic to anything? All Myspace questions that I’m skipping, lmao. Has a bee ever stung you? No. That’s like one of my top 3 fears so I never allow myself to be near bees or wasps. If there’s any nearby I run the fuckkkkk away. Where did you last go camping? I have never been camping for real. In what month do you start Christmas shopping? Last year I had some stuff ordered by early November – but those were gifts for just my girlfriend. I bought everyone else’s gifts like a week before Christmas. Have you ever slept in a bed with someone with bad BO? I’m sure I have; I just don’t let it bother me because no one’s breath is supposed to smell great in the morning lmao. Do you have a favorite flavor at Baskin Robbins? I have never had Baskin Robbins and I dunno if I will, because it’s just so expensive. Philippine suppliers looove bringing foreign brands like Shake Shack and Baskin Robbins over here and slapping insanely high prices on them just so they’re seen as high-end lmao, it’s sad. Are there fast food wrappers/cups in your car? No not at the moment. If anything there are old receipts. Do you read the newspaper? Very seldom, but given that I’m a journalism student, I encounter newspapers a lot because they’re everywhere in the college. What search engine do you use? Google. Have you ever posted a question on Yahoo questions? Nope. But the website is useful and I just look for people asking the same question I have at the moment. Have you ever been on a dating website? I made a Tinder account a few years ago just to observe it and just for fun. I never needed it but I was curious, so I joined it but I used a fake name and a photo of a cat I saw in school as my profile picture so that no one knew who it was. Have you ever had a crush on a celebrity of the same sex? Save for CM Punk, I’ve only ever had crushes on female celebrities. What kind of flowers would you plant in your garden? I dunno, I’ve never felt interested in growing flowers...or a garden, in general. Would you rather have a flat tire or overheated car? Flat tire. As far as I know that can be fixed a little more easily than a completely overheated car. What's the safest form of transportation? Private car, lmao. That’s really your safest bet in this country. Do you believe that kids should be taught abstinence? They can be taught about it so they’re aware of what it means and asks of them, but kids should also be reminded that at the end of the day it’s an option that they can choose to take or not. When's the next time you'll go to the grocery store? I only ever go when my dad is home because he likes having us along, so maybe in a month or two. When's the last time you went to Chuck E. Cheese? Never. What's your favorite cheese or cheese flavored food? Mozzarella sticks. Do you like black licorice? It’s decent, at best. I won’t spit it out, but it’s not my first candy of choice either. Can you count to 100 in another language? Two, Filipino and Spanish. We use Spanish when referring to currency, so that’s why it’s easy to memorize. Like I’d say I have labing-limang (fifteen in Filipino) notebooks, but when I have to say fifteen pesos, we say it as kinse (fifteen in Spanish). Idk, it’s a weird quirk with Filipinos but yeah. What's the nearest thing to you that can bounce? I don’t think there is anything bouncy in the living room at the moment. Do you hate cleaning? If I have to do it I get lazy. But when I actually want to clean, it can be relaxing. Do you clear dishes in the garbage disposal or in the garbage can? My mom takes out the garbage. Do you watch anything on the E! network? I don’t think our cable comes with E! so the only times I get to encounter it is when we’re staying over at hotels. I like having Keeping Up With the Kardashians on when we do have that channel. Have you ever tried out or thought of trying out for American Idol? I loved the show during its peak days, but I never had the desire to join it. Where's your car keys? Upstairs, on my bedside drawer. Did you keep any momentos of high school dances? From my high school ball, yes. I still have my old gown, photos with Mike, the instrument he used to ask me to ball (a Starbucks cup with the proposal written on it by the barista), and my old corsage. I like keeping stuff like that around so that I don’t forget, not because I still like him lmao. My prom could fuck off, and I have nothing from that night. Do you still have clothes from your high school dances? I have no idea. My high school prom dress disappeared after a while, but I still have my ball gown. The last person you laid in bed with said... I don’t know what you’re referring to but our last conversation was her telling me to drive home safe. Can you touch your nose with your tongue? I can’t. Which celebrities would you want to hang out with at a bbq? The Friends cast. Do you think you could do better drawings than Napolean Dynamite? I have never seen the movie. What are you doing on Superbowl Sunday? Isn’t it over already? I saw my aunts and uncles post about it on Facebook so I’m pretty sure it’s over. Anyway, I don’t care for football. Ever been to the original 13 colonies? No. Have you ever been to a concert that got out of control? Not really. The most ‘rebellious’ thing that ever happened was at my One Direction concert. The organizers made the stupid decision of holding the show on FLAT concert grounds and not a stadium, for a concert that probably held 10,000-20,000 people. Can you imagine holding that on just the GROUND??? Anyway, my sister and I had the third best tickets which was supposed to bring us to the semi-front, but it turned out to be so far from the stage. Everyone from my section all the way to the back resorted to standing up on the monobloc chairs which really isn’t allowed, but duh it’s One Direction and we wanted to see them. Harry had to call us out and ask us to get down from the chairs and just stand on the ground for our safety, but we kept protesting until they just gave up and continued the show. What's the last thing you watched on tv? Titanic, but we watched it on Netflix. I haven’t seen cable TV in a whiiiiiiile.

Whose show should be cancelled? 13 Reasons Why. Do you like Lindsay Lohan as a blonde? It doesn’t bother me. When's the last time you ate fruit? Last Friday I tried some of Laurice’s green mango with bagoong. Can you jump rope double dutch? Nope. I know jump rope but I never went that far.

#survey #surveys

[canaryatlaw]

mmm. I have a lot of conflicting emotions about things right now. mostly nothing to actually do with today, just stuff that’s been floating around in my head and being exacerbated by not knowing what’s going to be my future. Like if it’s NY that’s going to be a whole new world I’ll have to adjust to, and even if I stay in Chi I have no idea what I’m going to do job wise. And everything being in flux like that just makes it so difficult to plan practically anything. And on top of that I just have so many messy emotions regarding friends and relationships and I’m trying to make sense of it all but my brain doesn’t work correctly because it’s actually depending on 3 different antidepressants to change the chemistry, so I can do more than literally just sleep all day like last summer. and antidepressants are great and I’m very thankful for them, but sometimes there are gaps, and things just don’t work right, or past experience makes you paranoid about certain behaviors and desperately trying to prevent the past from repeating itself while also trying very hard to not come off as clingy because I know that I can be very clingy and I really hate that. Trying to convince myself I’m not being purposefully excluded which I know in all rational thought I’m not, but my mind is not always rational and has such feelings anyway. Sigh. Anyway, that's enough rambling, I should actually talk about my day now. It was fine, pretty good. I woke at I want to say 10:22, and before I looked at the clock I thought it was much earlier than that, like 6 am but no it was later so I got up and had some breakfast, after which I got in the shower to continue the whole morning shower thing (and omg, my bangs looked so good all day, I’m so obsessed with them). My normal hair routine is to use shampoo every day, then every 3 days use the special color depositing conditioner I have, as recommended by my hair stylist to keep it from being oily, and it’s worked pretty well so far. I only brought the conditioner with me because shampoo is shampoo for the most part, and after I used the stuff they had here my hair had a very weird feeling to it, like hard and would like, make noises and shit if you pressed against it lol, so I took a very tiny amount of conditioner and worked it through my hair which seemed to help a lot. My mom, my uncle, and I ended up going to this giant mall not too far from them (my aunt was totally pooped from partying yesterday and just wanted to sleep). It was pretty cool, a really big place, so we mostly just walked around there for a bit and went in different stores. We got some lunch in the food court from a soup and salad place that I’m pretty sure has places in Chicago, I got the crab and corn chowder which was very good, there was a hint of spice but strangely enough it wasn’t the burn my tongue spice but more like I could just feel it in my mouth afterwards. Idk, it was weird. We took a look in Brookstone trying to find something for my dad being that father’s day is next weekend and his birthday is two days after that (both my mom and my dad have birthdays super close to mother’s day and father’s day respectively, which is very convenient tbh 😂) because he likes their kind of gadgets and such, but they didn’t really have much, just like, stuff for a grill, speakers, and a bunch of different massage centered products, so that was a bust. We ultimately ended up leaving without buying anything (which is honestly rather impressive) but we drove back and stopped at a Tim Horton’s on the way, because Michigan, I got a small white hot chocolate because of course I can’t have coffee, and we chilled out in there for a bit before going to the house. Upon arrival we all just chilled for a while, and eventually got around to the topic of dinner, there wasn’t much in way of options at the house since my aunt was down for the count, so we ended up getting chinese food that I ordered online and my uncle and mom went to go get. I’m finding that the term “lo mein” can have many different interpretations depending on where you are ordering it, because several times in Chicago I’ve had types that didn’t match the one I’m used to, and this was one of those as well. It was still pretty good though, and I ate rice and fortune cookies and all that good stuff. By the time we finished it was about 7:30, and we watched a little tv before switching over to the Tony Awards!!! Which I realize I did not liveblog on here at all lol, I had to make a decision if I wanted to live tweet it on my main internet peeps account or my IRL people’s account, and I ended up going with the latter because that’s where my actual theatre people were. Overall I thought it was pretty good, Josh Groban and Sara Bareilles were great hosts. This review is probably not going to be in chronological order of the show, just warning you now. When they honored the Parkland drama teacher for hiding SIXTY FIVE FUCKING CHILDREN in her office for two hours before the all clear was given, and of course she should be credited as many of the more outspoken student advocates from Parkland were in the drama program and credit it for giving them the means from which it express their opinions. man, I cried so damn much. And then they had them all sing, SING, ONSTAGE, AT THE TONYS, as high schoolers, man, that has got to be such a dream come true. The girl who had the Joanne solo towards the end of the song fucking KILLED IT, I was watching knowing she had the high note at the end and I’m just thinking please don’t crack please don’t crack and she didn’t, she fucking NAILED it in an incredible show of talent, like dude, that’s insane. So I enjoyed that part of it. It was interesting that Mean Girls performed so early on. I was wondering what song they were going to do, and I understand why they chose what they did as it featured most of the cast, but I also think it wasn’t the strongest song(s) in the show, so that wasn’t all that helpful. Taylor Louderman sounded either very nervous or sick, her voice was pretty shaky, but she pulled through. I fucking lost it at Karen, I knew just from listening to the OBCR that she was perfect for the role, and tonight just confirmed that, she was great. I wish my girl Janis got to do more (I had been thinking maybe they'd do Revenge Party) but at least she got in there. Other things, let’s see, I hadn't heard of The Band’s Visit until tonight, so I certainly wasn’t expecting them to largely sweep the awards, I guess the voters (or whoever determines the winners) were really feeling it. Not gonna lie, Hailey Kilgore from Once On This Island was fucking ROBBED for the leading actress Tony, she had a stellar performance and she totally deserved it. Loved their number as much as I did when I saw the show back in January. Frozen was interesting on a few different levels. I had been thinking about how they were going to split the musical into two acts, and how Let It Go might be too early in the story to make it the act one finale, but there’s no way in hell you’re going to get an act one finale that even holds a candle to it. So I looked it up and they ended up just making Let It Go their act one finale, probably a good choice. When I saw they were doing for the first time in forever I was like oh we’re gonna end up switching to Let It Go, they had to, so of course I was right and they did, and man, they nailed it so well. It was clear they had to get that scene exactly right if they wanted to be taken seriously as a show, and they managed to find an actress who can actually hit the notes on a level comparable to Idina Menzel, because if she didn't that’s all anyone would be talking about. But she fucking killed that song, made it her own, and even managed to hit an extra high note that was not in the movie score, I was really impressed and I might go see it honestly, I’m trying to think, I wasn't as engaged with the performances of shows I’m not terribly familiar with, Carousel had a great dance number but I didn’t get much else out of it. The Spongebob number was......something alright, I mean if nothing else he certainly did a great job embodying Squidward, so there’s that. I’m trying to think if I have anymore feedback but it’s 1 am here and my eyes really want to close so I’m gonna try to keep it short. The De Niro thing was fucking hilarious and I love that it happened. I am cautiously curious about the harry potter play, I know a lot of fans thought it was trash, but it did do fairly well awards wise so there might be some good in there. Alright, that’s the end of my day and that’s it for now, my eyes really want to be close so that is what I’m going to do. Goodnight my lovely friends, Good luck on your Monday.

#daily journal #June 2018

[inter-galaxy]

Time Stamp

coming at you with some namgi fluff! something happy! can you imagine?

huuuuuge thanks to @namgii for okaying this fic and being a good friend ily ♥

Summary:  Yoongi wants to send Seokjin a text, but he goes and fucks up the number. But, you know, that's okay, because that one text starts something great, amazing, extraordinary.

you can also find it on ao3

To: Unknown

Time: Monday, Feb 12 • 03:51

               hey jin i know you’re probably asleep but i just remembered the thing you asked me the other day and the answer is bananas and i really need you to know. k tnx for coming to my ted talk

 To: Unknown

Time: Monday, Feb 12 • 14:26

               Oh shit, I’m sorry about this! I thought I was texting my buddy but turns out I put in the wrong number? Last time I try texting without opening the contact because I’m sure I know the number by now, haha. Thanks for being chill about it!

 To: Not-Jin Namjoon

Time: Friday, Feb 16 • 04:42

               do you know how weird you are for continuing to talk to a stranger that accidentally texted you at four am? incredibly weird.

 To: Not-Jin Namjoon

Time: Friday, Feb 16 • 04:57

               uh, fuck you?? you can’t judge me for being awake when you are also awake that’s not how this works, i’m the judge in this relationship

 To: Not-Jin Namjoon

Time: Friday, Feb 16 • 05:53

               and, anyways, that’s how i got to be literally the best person in the world? or best roommate at the very least! honestly, he’s lucky to have me!

               but you have to tell me what happened with the fountain??? you can’t just keep teasing me about it and then not telling me!

 To: Namjoon

Time: Wednesday, Feb 28 • 23:38

               hey, just wanted to say that i had a really nice time today? never would have guessed that texting the wrong number would lead to the best free dinner of my life, but here we are!

 To: Namjoon

Time: Wednesday, Feb 28 • 23:45

               on a more serious note, i’m glad you kept talking to me weirdo, always nice to have more friends

 To: THIS ONE IS JIN

Time: Tuesday, Mar 6 • 02:37

               jin, jin i’m having a crisis what do i do he’s just so cute and funny and pretty and he laughs at my stupid jokes i don’t know what to do

 To: Traitor Jin

Time: Tuesday, Mar 6 • 04:29

               i want you to be aware that this conversation has been useless and has not helped me with my crisis at all and also you are a horrible friend

 To: My Favorite Friend Jin

Time: Wednesday, Mar 7 • 19:30

               you know what i said yesterday about you being horrible? i take it back, you’re the best person in the entire world and i would be dead and rotting in a hole somewhere without you and i just need you to know this because i love you very much you’re amazing and handsome and hoseok is incredibly lucky to have you and i’m lucky to have you as a roommate you’re the best

               in short thanks for hooking me up with a date idk how you did it

 To: Joon

Time: Thursday, Mar 8 • 00:57

               i had a really nice time tonight, i’m glad we went on this date. next time though, maybe we shouldn’t try to rob a store? even if it’s on accident??? how do you even do that??? it’s adorable???

 To: Joon

Time: Friday, Mar 23 • 05:37

               Namjoon, please just stop ignoring me? I get that I fucked up but I want us to talk and get over this and not just continue fighting and ignoring each other. Please. Look, I’m even using proper spelling and everything! Okay, a misplaced joke, maybe, but I just really miss you. Please.

 To: Namjoon

Time: Monday, Mar 26 • 17:53

               How about next time we fight you don’t force me to come to your workplace and confront you? Needing time to process things is one thing, but ignoring me for such a long time is unacceptable. I don’t want to keep having this fight so please just talk to me next time.

 To: Namjoon

Time: Tuesday, Mar 27 • 01:48

               Of course I’m mad? You ignored me like I wasn’t important at all, how did you expect me to react? Welcome you back with open arms? Fuck no. I really like you, and I want this to work out, but you can’t be a child about it.

 To: Joon

Time: Saturday, Apr 14 • 14:33

               are you still coming today? jin’s got all the snacks ready and we bought drinks and hoseok’s bringing the movie, so you don’t have to worry about anything you just gotta show up on time. see you soon!

 To: Joon

Time: Saturday, Apr 14 • 17:23

               joon? are you on your way? we’re all here and waiting for you.

 To: Joon

Time:  Saturday, Apr 14 • 17:46

               namjoon? it’s not like you to be this late, and to not answer me? i thought we were doing better. are you okay? i hope you’re safe.

 To: Jin

Time: Saturday, Apr 14 • 19:25

               i just got to the hospital. they’re not letting me see him yet but a nurse told me that he is stable for now. i’ll keep you updated. please forward to the other guys.

 To: Jin

Time: Saturday, Apr 14 • 19:59

               they just let me in to see him. he’s still unconscious but he’s fully stable now. they’re saying that they don’t expect any permanent damage. his left arm got broken, and he looks pretty beat up, but he’s mostly alright. they say it’s lucky that the car hit the passenger side, as otherwise the damage would be much bigger. i’m going to stay here until they kick me out, i’ll keep you updated.

 To: Jin

Time: Saturday, Apr 14 • 21:30

               they’re saying i have to leave in half an hour. can you come pick me up? he’s still asleep, but he hasn’t gotten worse so i’m thankful.

 To: Hoseok

Time: Sunday, Apr 15 • 08:37

               jin’s gone to work already so i was hoping you could give me a ride to the hospital? i can take a bus if you’re busy, don’t stress.

 To: Hoseok

Time: Sunday, Apr 15 • 09:27

               thanks for the ride, i owe you one

 To: Jin

Time: Sunday, Apr 15 • 13:28

               you don’t have to come for lunch, i know you usually spend it with hoseok. i’ll eat something in the cafeteria, i promise so please don’t worry. he hasn’t woken up yet.

 To: Jin

Time: Sunday, Apr 15 • 16:22

               thanks for coming over, even if it was just a little bit. i’m freaking out a little, but they say he’ll be okay so i just have to trust their judgment. i’ll update you if anything happens.

 To: Jin

Time: Sunday, Apr 15 • 19:43

               he woke up! i’m so relieved. he wasn’t awake for long, and complained about being in pain and that it wasn’t fair that his boyfriend was as pretty as an angel because he couldn’t tell whether he was in heaven or not. he passed out again when they upped his morphine, but they say it’s good that he woke up.

 To: Jin

Time: Wednesday, Apr 18 • 12:55

               he’s doing much better, already complaining about the hospital food. they say he has to stay for a while longer but that he will need help for the first few days he’s out, so i’ll stay at his. we spent all morning talking. i’m happy he’s okay.

 To: Joon

Time: Monday, May 7 • 22:37

               hey, i’m running a little late because no shop in town has the soda you like. i expect great payment for the trouble i am going through just to get you this soda. i want you to know that i have suffered greatly for it.

 To: Joon

Time: Wednesday, May 9 • 03:22

               uhhh,,,, no need to be rude?? i give you my life and this is how you repay me? by judging my music taste??? i’ll have you know i graduated top of my class bitch

 To: Jin

Time: Friday, May 25 • 04:37

               is it too early to tell him i love him? because i think i love him. i’m like pretty sure i love him. i don’t think i’ve ever loved anyone as much as i love him. help.

 To: No Help Jin

Time: Friday, May 25 • 04:43

               okay but i have no actual idea if i should tell him or text it to him because you know talking over text is usually easier and i get to formulate what i want to say and i get to think about how to say it but then that might seem impersonal and i don’t want him to think i’m an asshole but who knows when i’ll see him next because exams are coming up and i want it to be perfect and i don’t know jin i’m so stressed aaaaAAAAAAAAAA

 To: Jin Will Scream At Me

Time: Friday, May 25 • 05:21

               you can tell me i’m insane tomorrow and i’ll agree haaaaaa i just told him that i think i’m in love with him and then hid in the bathroom for like twenty minutes but he hasn’t replied because he’s asleep because of course he’s asleep but i’ve slept like four hours in the past two??? three??? days??? help

 To: Joonie

Time: Saturday, Jun 2 • 16:22

               now you listen here you little shit just because i’m in love with you that does not mean i won’t kick your ass because you dare disrespect the god the hero the king kanye west himself fuck off

 To: Joonie

Time: Saturday, Jun 2 • 16:34

               oh no you do not get out of this by calling me babe and telling me you love me i am never forgetting this sin i will never let you live this down

 To: Joonie

Time: Saturday, Jun 2 • 19:02

               uuuuh??? that’s rude wtf??? i’m the nicest person in the world like i’m a fucking delight lmao

 To: Joonie

Time: Saturday, Jun 2 • 19:55

               not all men you’re absolutely right my main man midoriya izuku would never do this he is a good boi

 To: Joonie

Time: Saturday, Jun 2 • 21:00

               ohhhh my good namjoon that is not how it works like even remotely??? how??? how do you manage to be so this way????

               like no shade but also full shade how do you manage to break a remote???

 To: Joonie

Time: Thursday, Jul 19 • 00:22

               it’s not even that late it’s only midnight we’ve both gone to sleep at a much later time tho and i really need to talk about this because it’s make me restless and i don’t wanna spend the entire night twisting and turning so if you could stay up with me for a while that would be really nice because i really need it

 To: Joonie

Time: Thursday, Jul 19 • 00:27

               thank you. okay, so, i just really need to get this off my chest because it’s slowly starting to suffocate me and i don’t want to keep all of that inside anymore because i want to get better and i want to talk to people about these things and i trust you and i love you and so i want to share this with you. okay. so you know how i get really stressed when exams roll around because i just wanna do well and i’m scared, terrified of failing, and then sometimes i just start feeling like something is constantly sitting on my chest and it’s hard to breathe and sometimes i even forget to breathe and tbh if i didn’t live with jin i’m not sure i would always eat during these times or even sleep. and talking to you helps, it definitely helps because i feel like i can breathe a little easier because i know you understand me even when i don’t talk about it. but i want to talk about it. and right now i wanna ask that you ask about this stuff. it’s hard but i wanna talk about it. and if you want to then i wanna listen to it as well. i love you, and i want this to be something that we can talk about.

 To: Joonie

Time: Thursday, Jul 19 • 00:58

               i don’t feel like that at all. you’re just trying to make me feel better, i really appreciate that. i always find it cute when you ramble like that, you know? don’t be worried about talking to me, we can only understand each other if we communicate. i’m really happy we’re talking about this. thank you.

 To: Jin

Time: Monday, Jul 30 • 08:22

               i’m leaving now i’ll be at hoseok’s in like twenty minutes if you two aren’t ready i’m stealing your car and going to watch joon alone and i’ll talk shit about you the whole time

 To: Joonie

Time: Monday, Jul 30 • 08:44

               !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! good luck!!!!!!! we’re all in the stands we’ll be rooting for you and screaming your name. well. maybe not. it’s a poetry thing not a concert so maybe no screaming but at least loud clapping!

 To: Joonie

Time: Monday, Jul 30 • 9:59

               uuuuuuuuuuuuh??????????? that was amazing?????????? my boyfriend kim namjoon the love of my life is literally the best poet in the world wow

 To: Jin

Time: Wednesday, Aug 15 • 12:04

               yo man you left your one box of old photos here and i couldn’t resist so i opened it and took pictures before sealing it perfectly again but can you come pick it up because i’m about to hand the keys back because i’m done with my stuff and this box is just here and waiting for you and who knows what else i will do with it if you don’t come quick.

               just please hurry i wanna go to my new apartment with my boyfriend and not sit in this empty place.

 To: Jin

Time: Friday, Aug 17 • 22:22

               i take offense to the fact that you think that i cannot cook. just because i choose not to cook, that does not mean that i do not know how to do this. we’re having a cookoff. i will not stand for this hearsay.

 To: Joonie

Time: Sunday, Aug 26 • 19:31

               don’t listen to jin i was the one who won the cookoff because i am the best and i have brought the food back home so we’ll have the rest together when you come back please hurry i am a whole hunger

 To: Jin

Time: Sunday, Sep 23 • 04:29

               i know it was kinda rough sometimes with him, and sometimes it still gets like that, but we’re good, you know? we’re good for each other and we get a little better every day and i love him more than i’ve ever thought possible and, you know, i think we’ll be okay. we’ll be okay. definitely.

#bangtanwriters-net #namgi #sugamon #fluff #namjoon #yoongi #angst #background jin/hobi #soft #text fic #texting #aj writes #texts are all sent from yoongis phone

[custer-mp3]

long-ass general life update for you nosy bitches // tw: men, my bad legs

so boring to say i’m settling in but i am, i just wish there was something better to call it

there was somebody camped out in the back of the park across from our house down by the railroad tracks, on what we think is technically railroad property, and the parks department came today and tried to haul their shit away without a police order cuz “it’s just trash” no dude it’s a tent that’s someone’s home you leave it the fuck alone so Agatha screamed at them until they went away but then the cops came by & tagged it so now they have 3 days to move or the parks department’s allowed to come back & take their shit away

when we were trying to figure out whose site it so so we could reach out to them thru the drop-in center we noticed the tent was locked but had been cut open and the rain fly was ripped off and Agatha says it’s probably fine but it looked like somebody rolled their shit hella bad & i’m just worried about whoever it is, it looked like multiple people (or at least a guy and a girl) and i hope they’re okay like. physically

thanksgiving weekend launched me into the flare of the century i’m still not recovered from. i dared unpack my boxes of books yesterday (which were all small!! 6 free USPS boxes!!) and my knees had just. Had It. from that 20 minutes of activity. my wrists and elbows are flaring rly bad rn too & i had to buy ankle braces cuz my Achilles was already super fucked up from moving & like. whole body hurts.

i was limping around super bad at work--like unable to actually walk, just kinda toddling around in slow-mo if they needed me to move somewhere--and my manager made fun of me to my face IMITATING MY LIMP ON BLACK FRIDAY when i requested a break then my ASM and tenured keyholder ALSO made fun of me on Hell Saturday and i’m going to burn the entire store down

marina says report them to HR but that’s not very anarchist of me and i just don’t care enough to ruin their lives cuz it’s a temp job anyway and i can make it thru the holiday surely but it’s also like. i am the most able-bodied disabled person i know. i get more shit done in a day with 2 nonfunctional legs and fucked up arms and guts that are trying to escape my body and The Brain Fog TM than most people in full health do. if you’re being this awful to ME to my fkn FACE, ON THE CLOCK, how awful are you to “““actually disabled”““ ppl like out in the world on your free time

i just hate that there are no buses on sundays, no buses after 7, and i keep getting put on these dumb fucking late closes that mean either paying $15 for an Uber or walking the 3 miles home in the dark and the cold and some days i just physically Cannot with my Body and have to pay for the Uber which sucks ass cuz i’m making barely above federal minimum wage again

but i’ve been walking dogs and stuff with Kara. she’s got a hot friend who saw the picture of my halloween costume she threw in the groupchat and apparently thinks i’m cute and has been inquiring about my existence ever since so she asked me if she could give him my number and like sure bro i’ve met this dude exactly once AND I DIDN’T HAVE EYEBROWS ON AND WAS STANDING THERE RUBBING MY EYEBROW STUBBLE IN MY OVERSIZED SLIPKNOT HOODIE AND PAJAMA PANTS but i would like him to throw me thru a brick wall so sure but then he tEXTED ME and we set up a hangout which was supposed to just be coffee but turned into a whole-ass actual lunch date which like. worm. and made out in my living room cuz why not.

yesterday we hung out again (the coffee i was promised) and walked dogs with Kara in the cemetery and went to Kinko’s and the sketchy Halloween store that’s still open in fkn December and also made out, and then he was like “we should have an Actual Date For Real People” and i was like mfkr what?!?????? is that not???? no??????????????

so that occurred t o d a y cuz you can’t call me anything but efficient and spoiler alert, it was NOT a Real People Date, it was a fkn punk shitbag date, we definitely smashed then cuddled and tried to get Parsnip to interact with the other cat in a peaceful fashion and listened to Ministry and helped Agatha with the camp/park service situation and dealt with the cops when they showed up and had the aUDAciTY to park in front of our house to pull that shit then ran errands and cuddled and went to a Food Not Bombs meeting like. mfkr. that aint a date. that’s hanging out. how. is the prior 2 things with designated start times and wearing Nice Shirts and Going In Public Together Solo and shit not dates but tODaY was a date. fkn. WHAT

anyway he’s simple and sweet and hilarious and pro-SW anarcho communist and insanely hot and self-deprecating and i want to climb him like a tree but he too is divorced once over and we’ve Talked about it & it’s made me feel Better about my own shit & like. i want him to throw me through a brick wall and buy me food and leave me alone, and he’s in a non-monogamous relationship with one of Kara’s friends and his partner’s like “bro u need to date other ppl so i don’t feel bad” and y’know, that’s fuckin stellar imo. for me.

like what this whole fkn Ordeal has made me realize is i actually hate being in capital-R-Relationships. i do NOT want the pressure of being somebody’s whole world, i do not want the EXPECTATION of being solely responsible for somebody’s emotional happiness and well-being, i just wanna be friends with people and hang out and make art and occasionally make out and otherwise be left alone to do my own thing so this is like. rad as fuck. that this just sorta fell into my lap fully-formed and i didn’t have to do a bunch of screening and dealing with fuckboys and everything i was dreading abt y’know. finding someone to make out with in the midwest

and it was all because of my dumbass pun-based nu-metal halloween costume, which is the best thing that’s happened to me in decades, so. thank u jonathan davis

but i’m making friends--mostly thru Kara, but the other fellow new KH at work is the oldest person in the store (older than me by a couple years) and ALSO super into all things manson-adjacent and ALSO super queer and everything and has given me a ride home a couple times and i love her so maybe we’ll end up being friends in the long run too--and like living with Kara’s been good cuz there are always people around and she doesn’t mind me inviting myself on stuff sometimes so

there’s some sort of Krampus parade thing this Saturday in which for $2 you can actually be beaten with sticks and the squad’s going to that and we’re all doing FNB on Sunday and i know aforementioned dude is gonna be there but also so is his partner so like. that’ll be Inch Resting. but. we’ll survive. ‘we’  meaning me.

idk if it’s some sort of fucked up coping mechanism from coming dead last in my own monogamous relationships for uhhhhhhhhhhhh my entire fucking life but y’know. i kinda just feel whatever abt it!! like cool!! there is the dude i am fast friends with and def have a mutual crush on and am also currently fucking! and there’s the person he’s been dating for 3.5 years and owns a house with, and they’re a Thing!! and idk where i fit and what the vibe’ll be idk if the partner’s other ppl are gonna be there too so it’ll be weird fr all of us or it’s just me and like honestly how do y’all NAVIGATE i just don’t wanna make fkn heart eyes at the wrong time or NOT make heart eyes at the wrong time U FEEL ME

but also y’know what, whatever, fine. i’m like the least possessive person in the universe. like. i like that it’s all out in the open and people aren’t running around on me or anybody else. can’t believe this is my life, honestly. idk if the squad was conspiring on this or what cuz kara has terminal Nice Person disease but. good job fam. 

i was in a real dark place this time last week and it only got worse over Hell Weekend, like. feeling directionless / unmotivated / isolated / lonely / traumatized / failure. it’s really been hitting me hard that i’m [redacted] years old & getting d*vorced & back in a punk house in a city i’d never set foot in before & working the shittiest shit job in the history of shit jobs and i’m never gonna see this person that was my best friend for so long again (cuz, y’know, i know i don’t talk abt the Private Life on here very often/in very concrete terms ~~this post being the exception~~ but. we were Best Friends. for a very long time) & i’m officially losing this friendship that meant so much to me and does mean so much to me, because i do care about him as a friend. like. fuck him as a spouse, he’s terrible at that, but as a friend i don’t want to see him struggling. which is bullshit. cuz he was abusing me and my life was a living goddamn hell in VA. but it’s hard to let go of the basis of the whole goddamn Ordeal to start with, and it’s hard to reconcile My Friend Whomst I Adore with My Ex-Husband Who Triggers Me On Purpose & Reads My Instagram Messages & Has Been Blackout Drunk For Months & Won’t Let Me Have Space Even In My Own Office, and it’s hard cuz the only people i know who’ve gone through something like this are dead. and all of that’s hitting at once. and i can put up with a lot of shit but i cannot put up with feeling like a failure within myself. and shit was truly fucking bleak.

so the whole social life thing just came at a good time y’know & even if things otherwise aren’t going the way i want there’s at least one good spot in my life. i got friends, i’m getting out of the house, i figured out where the good cemetery is, people are buying me food & talking me through all of this & rubbing the shaved part of my head & i’m happy

kara’s got a dr’s appt tmrw AM & the dude is apparently our designated Responsible Adult With Car so he’s picking her up from that & will be in my house once again tmrw morning & i fully plan on hiding in my room and pretending to be asleep cuz fuck that lmao don’t make me socialize i was not emotionally prepared for that

hayden sent me a 1995 Marilyn Manson gig poster and an enamel pin of a jackalope wearing a cone of shame & honestly??? i do not deserve him, talk about great friends

we need to get a frame for the poster but then me & kara are starting a MM wall in one of our living rooms & it’s gonna be great. the dude’s gonna come over with a drill & help me hang shelves in my room some time soon so i can finish getting unpacked cuz i’m just down to the boxes of art and getting all my shelf crap squared away & then i can finally finish Unpacking For Good

me & kara cried on the kitchen floor together last night from laughter bc i still have not learned my lesson in How Much Soup A Bowl Can Hold and my lizard brain was convinced if i got the beans under the liquid it would all fit, which, spoiler--it did not, and all my makeup ran off my face. it was that good. i love her so much

anyway thanks for listening check out the distro so i can buy groceries until my food stamp paperwork clears which will probably not be for almost another goddamn month i’m so pissed

xo

[stayswaggyponyboy]

And so comes the time of reflection...the time of introspection....the New Year.  I’ve done one of these posts the last couple of years now and they’ve proven to be interesting to look back on, so for the sake of my own record keeping...here goes nothing.

2017. My.  Oh.  My.  What a year.  And I really wish I meant that in a good way.

January: started off unfathomably wonderful having the time of my life in Paris doing things I never dreamed I’d be doing.  Helping a famous haute couture designer prepare for his Fashion Week runway show, drinking wine on the Champs Élysées, sifting through record stores speaking blends of English and French, meeting up with friends in London.  Truly a wonderful month.

February: lots of pain this month.  And also some heartbreak....fuck that heartbreak man.  I suppose this was the month I learned how important open communication is and honesty with other people as well as yourself.  Don’t avoid shit man, confront it.

March: the end of something and yet the beginning of something as well.  And the beginning of something so truly beautiful it was.  Also the month I got my first tattoo woo.

April: the month I lost my best little lady but also the month I fell in love.  So hard in love with so wonderful a human being.  It’s very difficult to sit here right now and look back on this wow, fuck reflection.  The month of quality time and experiencing new things with a new person and fuck okay yeah this is hard, moving onto May pls.

May: another wonderful month spent loving my life and loving myself with someone else.  I saw Bon Iver live sitting hand in hand with someone who loves his music just as much as me.  Just kept on falling I suppose.

June: started a job that was a very difficult experience.  Thing is the downhill in life where everything basically went to shit.  He experienced awful things and the ripple effect was significant.  Cue depression.

July: don’t really wanna think about this month.  Turned 21 I guess.  Very grateful for my brothers.  Very sorry to anyone who was friends with me at this time...I was quite unwell. 

August: not much better truly....maybe worse, I don’t remember.  Let’s label these The Dark Ages.  But I was trying to get better.  I told my parents about my faulty brain.  On the 30th of this month I went to therapy for the first time so I did one good thing for myself this year at least.

September: I started to try and move on.  I worked on a beautiful show with amazing and talented friends.  I hated my job but at least liked the people.

October: tried something new.  It was fun and nice but didn’t last long of course.  Not much else....things still not great otherwise.

November: again, tried something new.  Learned a lot and was able to explore ideas that I otherwise wouldn’t have - thanks for that.  Went to Cape May and was in my happy place for a little bit.  Manifested something for the first time, that being my new job.  And rounded out the month getting hurt again ayyyy.

December: a lot of sadness and nostalgia and not great feelings.  Hopeless seems to be the word that comes to mind.  Finals...lots of extended family at my house....and starting a new job.  Trying to find comfort in literally anything.

It’s hard because while obviously there have been goods within this year...looking at it big picture like this...it all just feels....difficult to think about I suppose.  The happiest time of my year, the spring, now brings so much pain and nostalgia looking back right now, so it’s hard.  It’s hard to be a glass half full kinda gal after this past year.  BUT there were certainly little moments.  Little moments (shit already tearing up) like getting a greeting from my roommates every single time I walk in the door.  Or like a hug from mom after a really bad week.  Or a really helpful conversation at therapy helping things feel a little lighter.  Or like booking flights to do something I never thought I actually would.  Or like those snuggles with my pupper that I realized I had to stop taking for granted.  Or those laughs, god those laughs, at dinner with friends surrounded by people speaking a different language than us.  There are many other little moments, some tainted now, but moments I’m trying to remember as good nonetheless.  Through it all I’ve learned and I’ve grown and that’s all one could hope for I suppose.  

Now is the part where I reflect on the people in 2018 who meant a hella lot (it’s sorta in chronological order I guess):

CS, EW: I know there were a couple others in our apartment but ya’ll made Paris an insanely wonderful experience.  I honestly do not know what I would have done without the laughs and the late nights and early wake up calls and all of those damn crêpes and espressos.

TB: you kinda hurt me a helluva lot but I learned from it....perhaps I’ve learned I really need to stop trusting you lols but for some reason you were still a part of this year weirdly enough and I don’t hate that.

CH: I don’t really have the right words right now so I think all I can manage is thank you and I love you (and probably always will woof).

DM: I would honestly be lost without you and I didn’t expect that’s something I’d say.  I am so grateful for you and for your friendship and for being someone I am happy to come home and see sitting on the couch every single night.  Cheers to all the walks home, all the late nights, and all the stressful times. I am one lucky gal.

LV: you are and always will be my honest other half.  We drifted and did our own things at points this year and they were good (and some bad let’s be honest lol we thriving) but through it all, when I needed someone most in some of my worst moments, you were there.  And I can’t tell you what that means to me.  I love you a whole, whole lot.

SC, TL:  Two very unexpected lights in my life that I’m so happy are there now.  Living with you guys has made me feel safe in my own home again.  You’ve reminded me what comfort and trust feels like and wow I really needed that I guess so thank you.

DM: Mama you are my light, my beacon of encouragement, and I could not have done this last semester without you.  You honestly inspire me every fucking time I speak to you, to try and put out the good I want from the world and I love you for that.

ZS, BS, CS: This has been a really really great year for us.  I don’t know...you all have just become 3 of my actual best friends.  Sure we don’t gab about our lives together but I’m just really really happy with how close we’ve gotten.  Damn I love you guys.

JS: Yo real talk, one of my favorite people you are.  I am so glad and so lucky that you fell in love with my brother and decided you were down to marry him because I cannot tell you how important the time I’ve gotten to spend with you has been.  I feel like I can just unwind and take a deep breath when I’m hanging with you and your furry lil babies.  Thank you.  Thank you times a million.  Also your siblings rock and I love them all as well goddamn.

MS, JS: Every year that goes by, that I get older, I come to love and respect you more and more and it amazes me because holy shit I love you guys a whole lot and am so grateful for the two of you.  For loving me and trusting in me and always wanting to take care of me.  Damn now I’m crying ok I love you a lot that’s all.

BW: Ok honestly I am amazed you are on this list again but I’m so happy you are.  Somehow you’ve managed to be one of the most inconsistent friends but one of the truest and most honest.  There are things I have talked to you about that I’ve not discussed with anyone and that’s something I’m so grateful for.  To see where we started and where we are now is quite hilarious but hey, I’m glad you’re in my life one way or another.

DC: I spent a lot of my first couple of years at college wanting to move on and make new friends and this last year, the last few of months especially, I have come to find comfort again with all of you.  And like genuine happiness when I’m hanging out with all of you and I’m not sure when this shift occurred or why but I’m happy it did and I’m happy you all still accept me into your lives, thanks pals.

ZL: Though someone I can get very frustrated with, there have been moments throughout this year where I have been very happy to be friends with you.  And sharing in those moments, those conversations, has meant a lot to me.

EQ: Idk man you just make me really happy, you’re such a swell human being and I’m so glad I know you.  Keep being you man.

PN: Ugh my heart.  I am so glad our friendship has blossomed into something that feels genuine and supportive.  It started out as fun and exciting and cute and now it’s just like I have this wonderful human in my life that makes me happy every time I see him.  Thank you for being you.

2017 has been a very difficult year....and a very painful year.  But it has had it’s moments of sheer beauty as well.  And while I can’t say I’m optimistic and sure that 2018 will be great....I feel like...it has potential...potential for good things to happen.  And that’s all I can hope for. 

#diary #this is so long shit #hope no one actually reads this whole thing it's excessive #new years #reflection #2018 #2017