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#its not as nice as i wanted bc couldnt spend much time on it but still ❤️
opens-up-4-nobody · 8 months
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#i spend so mad god damn time bitching on this website. its bc i dont talk to ppl. whens the last time i had a non functional conversation?#uuuuhhh last weekend or maybe the weekend before that? so like i gotta complain somewhere. so if i stop complaining u can assume i made#friends lmao. ugh. its just. im worried. im worried abt how this semester is gonna go. how this phd program is gonna go#bc i spent the last 2 years destroying myself. realized ive gotta stop doing that. haven't figured out how to stop and now im gonna triple#the amount of pressure im under while trying to do things in a more healthy way. its just like. it objectively doesnt seem like a formula#for good things to happen. im more worried for how catastrophic its gonna b on my brain than i am abt the things i think most ppl would b#concerned abt. like im not worried abt planning and executing a project or teaching beyond fear of the unknown#its like. ive done these things before. theyre difficult but u make due and tackle the problems. but when it comes to: how to maintain a#healthy school/life balance? i dont even kno where to start with that. i just dont bc when u have a learning disability things just take#more time but like how much time is too much? where does it end? i dont kno how to manage it and i dont wanna hate my project by the end#of this. i want to b excited and not paralyzed bc im afraid i cant change my behavior and its gonna kill me#and im worried bc im meeting with my advisor for the 1st time since march before i agreed to join thr lab and have i prepared for this#project which is almost complete unrelated to what i did in my last lab? no bc ive been managing data and im still not done managing data#bc i cant focus bc i collected that data in a way that was actively self destructive. and i mean i kno itll b fine. thr guy seems nice i#just hate that im showing up devoid of enthusiasm bc its all been drowned out by the fear. and thats also gonna make teaching a problem#bc its hard to b excited abt things when there's a hole in your chest and ur desperate for someone to tell u how to fix it. but idk helping#ppl does usually make me feel better so maybe itll b a good thing. forgot how much i feel like im dying when i sit in meetings and#classroom tho lol. god its been 2yrs since i was a student. classes feel like such bullshit now. and yet if i dont get all As i might die#my students better b good. i have the 1st lab section bc thr lead ta couldnt do that time. so im the trial lab and i start fucking Monday#who tf does labs the 1st week of class? ugh. also its an intro bio so like 2/3 of thr class r freshman. lil bby 18yos and some r non bio#majors. and ive been warned that sometimes there r problems with ppl who don't believe in evolution and cause problems. pls let my classes#b good. im not that worried. its just gonna b annoying as fuck. im not good at being authoritative#ugh. i should b reading papers so i dont look like too much of an idiot tomorrow. itll b fine im just an anxious freak. a lil over a week#until i can try to find a therapist. probably seek medication bc i dont kno how else to stop this bullshit. annoying. i grew up with a dad#who gets anxious abt the idea of taking too much medication when he tskes a single ibuprofen. in this household we feel pain and then we#die miserable. this is all his fault. we have the same brain.im just a lil more irradidic than him#its so funny i say that bc im like the least irradic person ever. i do the same things every god damn day. im just irradic in terms of#sometimes i feel like my brain is on fire and im a cry bby lol#whatever. enough bitching. ive got papers to read. or maybe ill just go to bed and read them tomorrow 🙄#unrelated
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loubouskz · 1 year
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could you do a chan ff where y/n asks him to read a couple chapters of the book they’re reading but the reader asks bc the book has smut in it and then chan reads it and gets all 😉
reading can be fun
bang chan x reader
description: reader gets turned on by chan's reading and they have a lil fun haha
warning: cute nicknames(like baby and sweets, I used 'my girl' once, couldnt figure out a different name to put, other than that its pretty neutral), SMUT!, reading smut, the smallest bit of thigh riding, some foreplay, dirty talk, unprotected sex, creampie, chan may have a slight breeding kink but it's not mentioned, reader loves chan's dick...I think that's all, let me know if I missed anything.
wc: 2.0k(not proof-read)
a/n: ofc I can and thank you for requesting!! I had some much fun writing this! and I'm sorry this took so long to post. my laptop is finally kicking the bucket so I have to type everything on my phone(on the days where I can't get my computer to work.)so it's taking a bit longer than I like but i hope you enjoy this and I did your request justice!🥰
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after a long day of catching up with doing chores around my apartment, I finally had time to myself. to sit down and read the book my friend lent me. they said it was really good and that I should try to read something that wasn't my usual genre that I love. they basically begged me…for two weeks straight before I finally agreed to read it. I made a cup of tea and sat down on the couch with the book in hand. I brought my legs up to sit somewhat under my butt and got comfy. grabbing the throw blanket from the top of the couch and laying it across my lower body. I took a sip of my tea before opening the book.
i was on the eighth chapter when I heard chan enter my apartment with the key I had given him. I heard him take off his shoes and jacket before entering the living room. I turned my head and met eyes with the person I loved most. his dimpled smile brightened up when he saw me.
"hey baby!" chan said, as he made his way to me. "hi!" I said back, tilting my head up to follow his eyes. chan kissed the top of my head and maneuvered his way to sit next to me. "how was your day?" he asked, grabbing my legs and laying them across his lap. "a bit long, but that was because of the chores I had to do around my apartment. now I'm relaxing, what about you, channie?" I said. "ahh, tiring but worth it- like always. changbin, jisung and I are working on a new track and it's coming along nicely." chan said, absent mindlessly caressing my legs. 
"but I'm also happy I got the rest of the day off and get to spend some time with you." he said, leaning over and giving me a kiss. I smiled into it, making him giggle. "so, what are we reading?" he asked, snuggling closer to me. I told him the name of the book, "it's the book my friend has been wanting me to read for a hot minute now." I said, showing him the cover of the book. "nice! what is it about?" he asked. "it's a fantasy/sci-fi romance novel set in space. it's about this girl falling in love with a crew member from another ship that they've been on a race with- without knowing whom…" I told him what the book was about and caught him up to the part I was at.
"wow, i might have to read it after you, it sounds really good." chan said. "you wanna read a few chapters to me?" i asked shyly. "sure." he said with a big smile on my face. i handed over the book to chan. knowing what was coming up next in one of the chapters my friend had told me about. "are you sure?" I aksed before getting comfy, to which he nodded too. once we were both comfy, he began to read where I had stopped.
we were now on chapter 10, and the two main characters were sitting next to a window and talking about what they were.
he looked back out the window. minutes passed, and he still hasn't said a word. she sighed and stood up. "this was stupid. to think, for once, you would talk to me about what's going on inside your head. but no." she said. as she turned her back to him, he finally said something.
"what is this lee?" she said. he tilted his head. "what do you mean?" he asked. "I mean like all the nights we've spent up here. you listening to all the thoughts in my head and answering them aloud. even when i think you can't hear them. the long talks and banters. all the secret glances. what is this? what is this to you?" she said as the words fumbled out. her heart racing, like it was going to explode. 
"if you want me to say I feel the same way about you, just know I do, but nothing more can come from this." he said, almost too quietly for her to hear. she could feel the tears start to build up. "and why is that lee?" she asked, not turning around. "because you have to leave. you have to stay with your brother. you can't be with me." he, again, said quietly. she turned around and walked up to him. 'look at me' she said in her head. "stop it. just go back to your room." he said. 'please look at me. I wanna love you.' she said. lee hissed in a breath of air. "we can't." he answered again.
'then love me for one night. this night. my last and only night with you.' he snapped his head to her, with an unfamiliar look in his eyes. he looked at her for a couple of seconds before making up his mind. he shot up from his seat and placed his lips onto hers. quickly…."
"okay! I think that's enough for tonight, channie." I said, grabbing the book out of his hand and closing it. i felt my cheeks starting to heat up. "what no, let's continue!" he said. I pretended to yawn and placed the book down on the table. "let's go eat something and go to bed channie." I said, flipping the blanket off and hopping off the couch. I made my way into the kitchen, opening up the fridge.
I heard chan's footsteps making their way to me. I called out to see if he wanted one of two options I offered to make, but he didn't answer.
"he shot up from his seat and placed his lips onto hers. quickly grabbing hold of her waist tightly, like she would slip away if he didn’t, making her moan into the heated kiss. her hands threaded his hair, pulling at it slightly.
"fuck." he whispered out, breaking the kiss. she started kissing down his jaw, finding his sweet spot. though they were in a hidden spot. lee didn't want to be caught. he grabbed her hand and pulled her to his room. once in the safety behind the closed door. he pushed her against it, one of his legs slotting between her legs. right where she wanted him most."
chan stopped reading aloud after that. i peeked my head up from the fridge and saw his eyes scanning the page. hearing him say that part of the story out loud, made my knees go weak. the way he was saying the words creating an uncomfortable wetness between my thighs. chan's eyes left the book and made their way to me.
"you want me to continue?" he asked with a slight smirk on his face. I shook my head no and closed the fridge door. I need to calm down. I tried to walk out of the kitchen and pass chan. he quickly dropped the book on the counter and grabbed my hips. "where are you running off to baby?" chan asked, pressing me against the counter. "no where." I said confidently. he chuckled at my answer. "really? because I think my girl was starting to get all hot, flustered, and bothered from the book i was reading out loud to her before i even got to the good part." chan said as he leaned in.
"am I right, baby?" he asked in a lower octave. I whimpered out as I felt him push my legs apart with his. one of his hands slowly made their way into my sweats and past my underwear. "answer me sweets." chan said, cupping my sex. he and I both knew the answer, but he wouldn't continue if I didn't say the word. "yes." I said quietly. he hummed at my answer, slowly pushing two of his fingers past my folds and curling them up inside. my eyes fluttered closed at the feeling, moaning lightly.
chan groaned, "god, you're so wet baby." I held onto his arm that was in my sweats as he quickened the pace. chan started leaving open mouth kisses on my neck, sucking sweetly on the spot that made me clench around his fingers. "channie, please." I said as I started to ride his fingers. "what do you need baby?" chan whispered in my ear, nibbling on my lobe. "I want more." I said. I grabbed him through his pants and felt how hard he was. chan removed his fingers, quickly tasting them before grabbing me behind my thighs. lifting me up and walking back over to the couch.
"oh fuck. don't talk like that y/n." chan said, grabbing my hands and holding them above my head. one hand on my wrists and the other guiding his dick into my cunt. slowly filling me inch by inch, I closed my eyes at the feeling. 
he laid me down, caging me in. clothes coming off fast, feeling up each other. chan grabbed his wallet as I stroked his dick. "fuck baby, I don't have a condom on me." he said, throwing his wallet onto the coffee table. "I wouldn't be the first time fucking me raw." I said, squeezing him. chan shuddered at my words and action. "you still want to?" he asked, fucking into my hand. "of course, why wouldn't i want your thick cock inside me, filling me up so nicely." I said, spreading my legs a little more for some more room.
"oh chris!" I moaned out, throwing my head back as he bottomed out. he groaned, letting go of my hands to place both of his on my hips. dragging out till only his tip was in, then slamming right back in. "shit, I love how this little cunt takes me all in." chan said, as he kept his slow but rough thrusts. taking his time to bring each other to our highs. with every thrust, hitting the gummy part inside me so perfectly every time. "faster please." I said, sweeping my hands up his arms to around his neck. 
"wanna cum baby?" he said, circling his arms under my body to completely hold me. his sweaty red chest presses against mine tightly. he rolled his hips, hitting my cilt with every stroke. I choked out a moan, angling my hips to get better friction. "yes, make me cum. please make me cum channie." I whined out, pulling at his now wet locks. as chan quicken his sloppy thrusts, he pushed his head into my neck. chan started moaning louder and louder, making me clench around him even harder. "oh fuck!" I moaned out. "yeah, cum for me baby. cum all over my cock." chan said, lifting his head, pressing his forehead to mine. "let me see how good I fuck you." he said with broken moans in-between.
the eye contact, the feeling of his body pressed to mine, and god-sent thrusts bringing me closer till finally the knot broke inside. dragging my nails down his back as I came. chan didn't let up with his thrusts prolonging my orgasm while chasing after his. which came with a couple of thrusts later. chan moaned loudly, pressing his hips as far as he could. cumming deep inside me. "oh fuck!" chan cried out, still lightly pumping with shallow thrusts. "take all my cum baby. take it, it's all for you." chan said, pushing once more before fully stopping. laying his head on my chest.
"I love you chan." I whispered into his hair. he pushed himself up and gave me a dazed smile. "I love you more." he said, pecking my lips gently. he fully say up and slowly pulled out. "going need to wash your blanket." chan laughed out, with his ears turning red. "what?" I said lifting up my body. "we made a mess baby." he said, rubbing the back of his neck. ohh. "well, let's get cleaned up." I said, careful getting up. I held out my hand as chan could grab it as we made our way to the bathroom.
chan relaxed into my arms. he dragged out his arms and stroked my thighs as we both calmed down from our racing breaths.
"I can't believe that book really turned you on." chan said. "and what about you? you had a complete hard-on and you had barely touch had you hands on me at first." I said, laughing. chan blushed as he pushed me into the bathroom. "shut up." he mumbled.
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Third surgery of the year went rocky yesterday. I have cried a lot in the last 48 hours. My mom and husband came with me and my mom was able to stay with all the way up to laying down for surgery bc babe had a therapy appointment i wanted him to go to and he agreed. My nurse was so nice and sweet but she tried and failed once to get my IV in. Then the anesthesiologist came in and was a very quiet man. And he sat and picked and prodded at my right hand for about 30 minutes. He tried twice with a lidocaine shot each time before he finally got an iv placed on the inside of my right wrist the third try, also with a lidocaine shot first. I sobbed the whole time. I barely remember walking to the surgery room and laying on the table. Then i woke up holding my moms hand so confused and then in 10/10 pain in my left arm where they took more of my arm out. I screamed and sobbed in pain. I asked Mom “where is Tyler?? Where is babe?!” I didnt even open my eyes i was crying in so much pain. My mom told me they couldnt reach him and i sobbed even harder, terrified. Tyler walked in abt 3 minutes later. His phone wasnt getting calls and he literally sped from home when he saw the voicemail notification. They held my hands as the nurses pushed a bit more pain and anxiety meds and i sobbed in pain. It took a while to get me to Tyler’s truck. I puked twice before i got home, revisiting the apple juice i had tried right after waking up and coming to. Once home i slept a lot on the couch. In and out of consciousness. Tyler stress cleaned our kitchen building our new shelf for our pantry and even selling our dog crate we’ve been needing to sell. So he was very productive awesomely while i was in and out of sleepy town.
Our dog Jupiter, his timing impeccable as always, had diarrhea and pukey all night so we were up every twoish hours having Tyler take him outside again and again. I woke up each time but had to stay on the couch. It was a very rough night.
Today has been the day after surgery and the pain has been so severe. I am staying on top of my pain meds. And thankfully i have been able to eat and drink just fine. The pain is just incredible and severe. We had to take the bandage off and clean it tonight and i sobbed thru the whole thing in agony. Tyler was so patient and gentle with me. I was so brave and its rewrapped and I’m back on the couch calming down while i write this. Im exhausted and it hurts and im so glad i gave myself a month before i go back to work because this is going to be a long recovery.
If anyone is so inclined or wants to: my cashapp and venmo is @ earnham and literally anything will help. I am having to spend so much on medical supplies and dont know when my fmla will actually go thru. Im also going to link my amazon wishlist eventually with a bunch of melanoma gear for this summer but that will be closer to my bday in June bc thats what ima be asking for this year, is help with anything on my wishlist.
This isnt the point of the post i rly just needed to vent my past 48 hours. Thanks for reading if u did.
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td-yuri-takes · 2 months
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I LOVE SAMELLA...... read twinning with a twist and havent been the same since but they really do just work really well together if you think ab it. with both coming from bad family situations (only implied for ella tho i think) and needing everyone to like them all the time. sammy is really hurt that she's always painted in a bad light no matter how hard she tries to fix it, while ella doesnt realize how she comes across as annoying and that people dont really like her until sugar flat out tells her, and she starts spending so much time trying to get sugar to like her. its just interesting bc sammy feels defeated and ella is just determined to both be herself and be someone who everybody likes.(though, and this might just be pulling from twinning with a twist a lot, it does feel like she uses her princess fantasy as escapism. possibly partly bc shes Not oblivious i bet she realizes people dont like her that much, she just doesnt know what to do about it. if they dont like her when shes trying to be the perfect princess and polite and kind what is so bad about her that even if shes nice they dont want her?) sammy IS nice, and she doesnt hide it, but somehow ends up taking the fall for amy's behavior (even tho amy was outright awful to everyone?? this plot confused me so bad. but i guess scarlett and amy dont care, topher probably just doesnt care or Loves to stir the pot, max and rodney are probably too dense, and we know how jasmine reacted) and she has such a complex about it its Bad. i honestly love sammy i wish they treated her better. i think ella shouldve also had a last straw snap like sammy did, just absolutely go off on someone about why they dont like her. isnt she trying hard enough? whats wrong with her? and sammy might see that as inspiration and really admire ella for it, and spend more time together (without amy this is important.) then later maybe sammy asks ella for tips and she tells her that she seems like a really nice person !! and maybe likens sammy to a princess as well, because ella didnt have amy on her team influencing her perception of sammy. so that like shocks sammy and she realizes that if ella can do it she can, and if ella sees her as someone worthy just knowing Sammy, then maybe she is, and has worth on her own outside of amy. i love jasmine but i dont love the way she just lets it happen either. i think sammy believed jasmine when she said she was good, but couldnt help but feel like its only because she feels sorry for her, and not really based on her own merit because amy has never let sammy have anything for herself, not even her friendship with jasmine. so being on different teams from ella and still bonding could give them a chance to establish that connection without amy at all, which might make sammy feel more secure that ella truly means what shes saying. i think one of the conversations would happen after ella is voted off, and sammy would get mad, saying that ella was genuinely sweet and they couldnt see past the fact that she was also 'too weird', and then say her situation was similar in that they judge her on the surface of what amy tells them without ever trying to get to know her at all, and she tells amy shes done trying to compete with her. her worth shouldnt depend on whether amy or their mother thinks shes good. maybe this could also relate to ella's brief crush on dave, and how she feels betrayed by sky for being so excited when she was clearly upset about it when she thought they were friends, and she also realizes dave didnt fit the mold she wanted him to. i think sammy would comfort her after, and this shouldve been the start of ella accepting she cant spend her whole life in a fantasy or she wont make real connections. and later when they get together sammy might confess she worries about not being enough for ella, not being able to fit the princess life. but ella tells her that their relationship isnt a fantasy, its real. she wants to take it slow, and not put any expectations onto her. like, character growth. IDK sorry for the rant i just like them
this might just be my favorite thing
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joyboyish · 1 year
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ok so in this post, i mentioned that nami gives the strawhats money so they can decorate their rooms, and now i want to tell u guys what i think their rooms look like
luffy -
he probably has a little bit of everything.. like a race car bed, some dinosaur coat and hat hooks his beetle and frog collections is there and beside it is a little book robin wrote about what to feed each beetle (its written in very simple terms) its organized by name. think he has a book shelf in the shape of a rocket ship that has fun facts about his favorite animals and bed time stories when robin is too tired to make one up, theyre robins books and she reads to him since he is canonically the only person who doesnt have a book in the ships library. theres a dresser with beetle shaped handles but he has like 3 things in it. also he always has legos on the floor... no matter what
zoro -
he has a simple bed, simple dresser, simple decorations etc. the only notable things are probably the larg collections of workout materials, and protien powder.. he also has some pain ointments incase he hurts himself, chopper gave them to him and hed die before something bad happened to them. he doesnt rlly go in his room unless its for sleep so theres really not much there.. there isnt a closet bc he wears the same smelly thing everyday and washes it like once a month in the washing room
nami -
she has a loft bed w some bean bags under it, some nice comfortable sheets and what not.. some spare treasure lying around, probably some of her favorite maps up on her walls, or framed photos of the crew and her and bellemare/nojiko. her closet has lots of clothes in it, orginized by type of clothes. she has a caddy bag for her night time stuff, and she has lots of face masks and hair care products for various hair types so usopp and brook dont feel excluded
usopp -
he has a bunk bed! which on he sleeps on depends on his mood tbh but he loves the top bunk so much. he has various green stars on his dresser that he messes around w for stronger ammo. he has pictures framed all around the room, seeing a picture is almost as frequent as seeing his CLOTHES ON THE FLOOR!!!! he likes silly bed sheets and blankets a lot, and he has a journal where he writes down all of his adventures
sanji -
his prince side came out a bit tbh... HUGE bed w silk sheets, and puffy blankets, his closet is decked out in TONS of different suits and silk pjs. has cook books laid out on his nightstand displaying different recipes from different islands he wants to perfect. he probably has porn magazines under his bed tbh..
chopper -
his room has lots of pillows and blankets tbh... they couldnt find an adults bed he could reach and he didnt want a kids bed. usopp and franky made him a smaller adults bed but luffy got uoset bc that meant he couldnt fit in it when he sleeps over at his room, so chopper sleeps on the floor and his room is just covered in various blankets and pillows.. he likes it tho its like a huge bed
robin -
honestly her room is just a library w a bed in it... TONS of bookshelves and a bed in a corner... thats it
franky -
his room is also p simple, huge bed tho bc hes.. him. he doesnt own a closet bc he only wears undies.. his floor is covered in cola, oil, and unfinished projects.... its super sticky..
brook -
BAND POSTERS GALORE!!! tons of different instruments everywhere, he has a bed and a closet and thats p much it.. nots of music sheets tho! theres a trash w scrapped music ideas next to his door
jinbei -
hes a simple man! simple furniture and a neat room. he doesnt spend much time in it
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girlwithfish · 3 months
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tmrw im gonna go to a record store by myself. i wanted to go today but he forgot i guess and i didnt really wanna bring it up a third time. trying to be understanding bc ik his financial situation is a big stressor for him and today he couldnt get his meds bc his insurance wasnt accepted at pharmacy and then he had to pay out of pocket so he hadnt taken his vyvanse and all this stuff but im thinking he isnt ready for a serious relationship or to give me the attention and care thwt i want. idk. and im not trying to act like i do the most for him bc i get worried wjen i think abt how i want him to show more effort or care bc im like well do I do that? but idk most activities we do are his interests orclike when we run errands its for him bc im at his place and wr use my car and all this stuff idk if im overthinking it or we get plants that he wants for his place and i feel im just there w him but theres not a lot we do that is For me and idk i also feel maybe i shldnt spend as much time at his place bc i feel hes too comfortable w me bc he knows he has me and so like idk we dont plan dates really i mean maybe i lied when i said we havent rly gone ojt on a date bc we did go tocthe library to read once ig thats a date or we went to that open mic but idk i feel theres not a lot of effort or care shown and like we do outdoorsy hobbies that he likes like pickle ball nd we did that today nd he forgot abt the record store ig bc i said ystrdy we shld go over txt and he said yes then we didnt go ystrdy and it was closed so he apologized and said well go tmrw and he brought it up before we went to play pickle ball and i said id like to go yes and said what time it closes and when we went out we did that then went to target so he cld get his meds and i guess he forgot and i really didnt wanna bring it up again. Idk maybe its not a big deal. i dont think i shld b in a relationship cuz i just accept the bare minimum and i cant stand up for myself lol. and we use my car allcthe time which i dont mind too much but his car is rly bad and im trying not to judge or anything but idk is that bad! and he drives my car too which idk its nice not having to drive but he said he likes driving bc he doesnt trust other peoples driving so its more a control thing so it doesnt rly feel like its like hes doing a nice thing for me. and idk. ;/ im just kind of sad bc he doesnt rly compliment me as much anymore either. he did say i looked cute in a picture he took of me ystrdu but idk he used to say a few compliments when were w each other. and i got sad bc he used to hold the door a month ago for me now he doesnt rly or i guess he did once today when we were going into his house and i got confused bc he usually doesnt do that anymore. its literally a month in this should be like puppy love stage or whatever like i shld b feeling wanted and happy and like theyre trying to date me IDK lol
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zhuhongs · 1 year
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hhhhh so im on a ridiculously long ride home and just my phone so tumblr diary entry time lol. if you have my instagram this will make more sense but yk. anyways. so yesterday was the last day of the semester and i was tbh pretty normal abt it. but leading up to it i was a mess and tbh i think my stomach issues actually came more from the stress of knowing im leaving but the alcohol seemed plausible enough an explanation so i ran with it. but nah i was just. hhhh overwhelmed. bc anytime i was out with ppl it disappeared and as soon i was alone and not busy i was like. oh theres the stomach pain. LOL. but yea. so i decided my going away present to everyone would be a drawing of them plus a message bc like. i always said i liked art but never rlly showed my classmates my art so i was like. welp lets go out with a bang. and it felt good bc i really wanted to do smth like this sooner. my initial plan to make a good impression was to print stickers of my art and put my IG on it and get close to ppl that way. but i was just far too stressed and thought itd be weird. so i just. Didnt. and i regret not putting in enough effort at the beginning. but i also feel like its okay, especially given my upbringing. i needed that time to myself to figure it out, and now i really know that i can just. talk to ppl. and not be afraid. bc the ppl i got closest to were the one i swore would judge me most bc of my own preconceived notions, but i told the the parts of me i hid the most and they accepted it. and could at least sympathize and actually relate and i just. why was i so silly. why was i so mean to myself to be convinced that i was so unacceptable that no one except for those who already knew me could accept me and enjoy my presence? i was so silly. i wont do that again, but if i do, it will still be easier than doing it this time bc I'll recognize the patterns and quickly snap out of it.
in a way, i really do feel like i needed all this time alone to process myself and rlly look myself in the eye and recognize the ways ive lived that i can just stop doing now that i have the freedom to be free of my past. and part of me feels like I'm saying that as copium bc i didnt connect sooner and i possibly could have also had a better time with others and still have come to realize the same things and more through the help and company of others. but i also know that i cant live life always thinking so much. so i just need to live and let the regrets be what they are, and move forwards. but the regrets do indeed linger. like i made the decision not to stay in taiwan. bc of well A. money and B. i felt like if i had more time I'd just fucking waste it like i wasted the first 4 months. i might as well force myself into a corner and see if that would make me do things i was too scared to do otherwise. and like, it worked! i did say fuck it and rlly just let loose bc i was gonna leave but now its worked too well. and like i wish soooo bad that i had those 3 months to fully enjoy every chance working out. Part of me says that its best to leave with that hope. rather than have taken that chance and it fizzled out. the thing keeping me from extending the most was honestly knowing I'd have my birthday there. and i could not take the possibility of spending my birthday alone... i legit couldnt stomach it. in the past i used to spend every bday alone but in recent years ive had a mazing friends that actually made my bday special and i just. I'm so used to having that day be nice that i really couldnt take the possibility of it being awkward. but now i realize that it wouldn't have been like that. it couldve been wonderful. but thats okay, in another life. or maybe a few years. who knows. im considering doing smth like this again in like 2 years after I've worked a bit. i have nothing but time. but man. sometimes i just wonder yk.
and last night i had a rlly good one on one talk with my classmate and that was amazing, but i got home and checked IG like a dumbass and say another group of classmates partying til 3am and i was like.... man i should've done that. but like, logically no. i had a great night regardless and i partied with those classmates last week. ive had my fill, and i had things to do today that i needed to be coherent for. but i couldn't help but thinking what if. and i know its not so easy to kill that voice inside my head. its always gonna be there. its not just me, thats the devil of SNS like instagram. bc you see the best parts of everyone's lives at all times and feel like you're missing out but you're not. you only see a sliver of what it really was..but yea. its okay. I'm still so very young. and i just need to treasure now and take whatever chances i get to nourish the connections i have right now and put yourself out there to make new ones when the chances arise. its okay, there is not life that can be lived without saying goodbye. but damn, yesterday at the school gates two of my classmates hit me with the さよなら and that. man i felt it in that moment. theres so much i wish i couldve said in all that time we had to spend together but i just held my tongue bc i was scared. but this was really playing social interaction on hard mode, like the cultural differences, the language barrier, the introversion, the fact it was my first time on my own fr, just, there were soooo many factors working against me specifically. and fuck man, i still did it. and i am still so young, i really can do whatever i want. it feels so weird. ive only been here 6 months but in a way it feels like this is how its always been. like the fact that im going home feels so strange. like i havent been there in years, i honestly cant fully grasp that im gonna be in a place where i speak the language fluently and am fully aware and familiar with my surroundings. like, why does that feel so odd. it does, i legit dont even know how to feel besides strange. i just have a strange pit in my stomach. but its okay. it will pass as everything does. but these days will always live on inside me as everything does. even if i can't fully recall it. so i just have to keep going as always. god. life is trippy man. but yea. Yea. thats it. i think
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emetkoto · 1 year
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what would emet and k'oto get each other for [insert whatever the ff equivalent of christmas is here]?
YEAHHHH STARLIGHT GIFTS!!!!!!! I think for sure by the time starlight rolls around that the weather in the first has returned full force and theyve entered their first winter in 100 years and since there hasnt really been weather there before k'oto doesnt exactly have any warmer clothes with him and sure he could go home and grab stuff but thats precious time he could be spending on hes always very afraid of the time between shards drifting again and potentially losing years so hes like 'mmm.. i will survive the cold against my will but only when i have to' which is fine and good he can handle it during the day but at night when emet-selch comes to spend time with him hes always like 'maybe we can just stay in tonight its so cold :(' and at first its fine but emet-selch wants to go out and take him places and show him things and spend time with him somewhere other than the stuffy inn so i think he would make him a nice warm new outfit!! smth similar to his current style but nice and thick and fur lined so he can handle the nighttime chill better <3 ofc its armored too so he can wear it during his daytime missions too but its mostly for the sake of their dates <3 hes still working on figuring out a solution to keeping the kitty ears warm that doesnt irritate them or cause k'otos hearing to be muffled hehe
as for what k'oto would get emet-selch.....honestly i think he would have a really hard time coming up with something? He would for sure overthink it just going in circles like 'hes immortal hes seen and owned everything at least once what could he possibly want what can i give him that wont make him roll his eyes'....realistically though even if he might find some things silly emet-selch would appreciate anything k'oto could give him! he may jokingly huff and puff about it but he'd be sure to sort of lay off it a bit so k'oto can easily tell that he's thankful without giving himself away too much hehe.....i have it written that for either valentiones or k'otos nameday (which k'oto decided was also emets nameday bc he couldnt remember his actual one) k'oto goes out and digs up an old rare bottle of wine as a gift since emet-selch strikes me as a wine aunt type but you can only come across smth like that so many times...augh its so hard to decide! i understand how k'oto must feel ueue....maybe he could ask feo ul to help him practice his ballroom dancing and prepare a nice meal inside the castle so he and emet could have a nice romantic evening there and he could make up for all the times they tried to have cute dances but k'oto stepped on emets feet or tripped over his own and ruined the moment!!!
bonus: i started doodling this outfit and got carried away and started rendering it despite not ever doing that in my life so enjoy warm cat
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wanderrlust0 · 5 months
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i hung out with snow and 2 of their friends for their bday (2 dozen anni celebration) and it was a lot of fun!
we got to the city around 3:15 and walked to ktown. we went to this bakery they all usually go to and they had so many tasty treats, i wanted to try them all! i got a strawberry bouchee & snow got us this strawberry refresher thats kind of carbonated but it was good! it had pieces of strawberries in it so it was cute. then we walked to kinokuniya which is this huge japanese store filled with books,magazines,manga, stationery, plushies,toys,collectables, &moreeee. it had 3 stories!!! there was soo much to look at & i def wanna go back!! i told the bestie about it & she wants to go! (i didnt realize how close it was to bryant park as well. like i totally wouldve went there last time i was in bryant park if i knewww.) we were in there for like an hr. i bought a spirited away japanese book & a cute pop up holiday card for myself bc i liked the art. i wanted a small spirited away book but they only had the big one and the book that shows miyazakis sketches. i feel like i shouldve just gotten that one, even tho it was more money..maybe on my next trip. afterwards, we went to muji, then the nintendo store. so snows friends are very much gamers. well, they allll are lol & theyre into kpop, conventions, etc so theyre quite diff from my friend group but they were very nice! & they were already talking about stuff like how i have to see their friends room bc she has cool things and how they’ll force me & snow to watch the live action.. demon slayer mugen train musical…lolll yes that. we then went backkk to ktown to eat at abiko curry, which is a spot they go to a lot. it was my first time trying it and omg it was sooo good, i ate it all. ive never had korean curry so i thought it was so cool that i could add a pork chop to it and it was crispy! it was so satisfying lol it was like our first real meal of the day at 8:30. im gonna be thinking about that curry for a whilee. afterwards, we were gonna go to this place called starbucks reserve, which is like a very fancy coffee shop/bar, but we realized we wouldnt have enough time so were saving it for some other time. we got gelato that was nearby and they had such cool flavors!! lychee, guava, plum.. i got a scoop of ube and thai iced tea and they went perfect together omg i want it again. i didnt know how thai iced tea gelato would taste but it tasted exactlyyy like the drink so it was so refreshing after our curry meal. after gelato we went back to the bakery to pick up things we wanted to take home with us. we didnt get on the train until 10:30 so we got home later than i thought & i was soso tired the next morning bc i had to wake up early but it was worth it lol. oh yeah! i forgot to mention but i gave snow their bday gift & card in the car so they opened the gift before we walked to the train station and !!! they loved it so much they criedddd D; it was sweet and also shocking and funny bc like!! i didnt mean to make you cry omggg loll for context, the gift was a framed drawing i made of inumaki from jujutsu kaisen and so they said thats its literally the best gift theyve ever gotten, mostly due to it being handmade and i was like WhaTttt no wayyy. the best gift youve ever gotten?!? they knew i was gonna draw something already bc they didnt want me to buy a gift & wanted something handmade like my art but ofc they didnt know what id draw & didnt really expect me to draw Him. they saved the card for our train ride home bc when they first opened it in the car & saw so many words they couldnt read it yet lol. when snow was on their way to my house they realized they forgot my gift (for my bday) and i was like MY Gift!!?! i really dont know what it could even be… it was fun spending time with them and i feel like its a nice change to hangout with a different friend group. idk like something about it feels fun and refreshing & just different. ofc it depends how comfortable i feel with everyone. but yeahhh, it was a good day & i got to try a lot of yummi foods
(my bracelet fell off and idk where it went:(( it could be somewhere in my room or my bfs room.. i dont believe it fell off at work.. or the shower..but i dont wanna think about thatD: it wasnt really a sentimental one i guess.. but it was like a good bracelet..& old.. &cute:( im hoping it shows uppppp!!!!)
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disco-cola · 8 months
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honestly the more time im spending reading up on the past and current metal scene and seeing videos and comment sections in which people are pointing fingers at others calling them posers if you dont dress and look a certain way, if you listen to certain bands especially the popular ones (because apparently popularity to them means less credibility and skill which makes no sense but whatever) and arent a fan of some obscure death metal band with two albums (also not implying they cant be good but its that seemingly FORCED liking of lesser known stuff and ONLY naming non-popular bands as your favorites and making it a crime to like the bigger ones) and its usually still men acting totally condescending calling people posers like okay i also dont like people wearing shirts of bands they dont even LIKE or LISTEN TO like i genuinely dont get it cause i seen band shirts that had nice designs that i still didnt get bc i simply didnt like or knew the band enough so i dont wanna promote it on my body its as simple as that but otherwise idgaf if you get bandshirts at fuckin h&m or wherever if you really are a fan bc ive said before i totally understand that not everybody has the money or time or thrifting luck to look for merch that was not produced by a chainstore but if you love the band thats all that should matter like ive been in the 70s classic rock online scene for years and i dont think ive ever seen people being called "posers" for liking zeppelin, hendrix, floyd, deep purple etc.? like you were rather weird if you DIDNT name them as some of your favorites because lets be real back then a lot of bands got so popular BECAUSE they were extremely good (and like dont get me wrong i have deep dived into 60s-80s music for the past ten years and i know a LOTTT of unpopular stuff thats also extremely good but instead of wanting to gatekeep it i actually get upset on the regular that it isnt more known but like i wouldnt go around asking other 70s music fans if they know them and then call them a poser if they say no) but for some reason in the metal scene thats different apparently and i also noticed that years ago already in the punk scene as well that certain bands were not taken seriously anymore after they reached a certain popularity level and gained a wider audience but i always think especially when it comes to punk its funny when people are so concerned about "posers" and think you need to dress and wear your hair a certain way and have a certain set attitude and saying "this is punk" or "that is punk" because its like dude saying stuff like this just goes to show you absolutely missed and didnt get the essence and concept of punk at all lol makes you just as much a poser at the end of the day doesnt it? and i feel the same goes for the metal scene. like at this point i dont think i, especially as a woman, wouldnt even wanna try to be a part of it, not in the 80s and not today either, it was soo male dominated and still is and because it honestly seems like a drag like i literally couldnt be bothered i also like way too many other different genres of music as well and couldnt be stuck on listening to just ONE and if that makes me a "poser" then yeah so be it it honestly wouldnt even faze me
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kristiewritings · 2 years
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hey there!! ur writing is so good...
so i was wondering... maybe headcanons of genshin men putting you to sleep ?? also its ok if you dont want to do it!!
though if you're going to do this, could u pls do it for diluc, kaeya, zhongli and thoma?? you can add or remove any of these btw!!
can i be 👺 anon??
hey there 👺 anon!! sorry i didn’t see this, i was busy. anyway im glad you like my work !!
characters: diluc, kaeya, zhongli, thoma
tw: petnames (love, dearest, snowflake, honey),
a/n: hi so im going to the airport with my friends because we're flying to the Philippines 🇵🇭 the country is pretty nice i saw images on google
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Diluc 🍇
diluc was not one to comfort anyone, he would just be like 🧍‍♂️
but y o u.
you changed his life
made him feel wanted and loved
so when he saw that you couldn’t fall asleep one day
he just wants to help you
like you helped him
so he cuddles with you until u fall asleep
checks on you every once in a while bc maybe you’re still awake
“love, is something bothering you?”
more utc!
Kaeya ❄️
when he sees you couldnt sleep this ass was actually drunk
came to his senses immediately after tho
holds you and tells you everything is ok
cuddles you and tries his best to stay awake so that he could monitor you if you wake up
but he falls asleep first anyway
still, his presence had you going to dreamland
“snowflake, are you asleep?”
Zhongli 🥢
worries about you
what ifs were racing in his mind
but when you hugged his torso when he neared you he thought ‘maybe they are feeling lonely’
so he decided he’ll try to clear his schedule and spend more time with you
doesn’t regret spending more time with you
in fact, he loves seeing your bright smile when he comes home early
happy to see that you’re sleeping normally now
“dearest, would you like to hear another one of my stories?
Thoma 🧹
would worry very very much
but wont show it
makes you food and drinks that help induce sleep 😍
if you’re not in the mood to eat he’ll take you out for a walk
either yall sleep under a tree
or go back inside
he’ll still carry you like a princess <:
pls marry me
“honey, why are you still up?”
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hello!! so rn im omw to the airpot to catch the flight to Philippines !! IM SO EXCITED but my other friends aren’t there yet so i’ll go get some food
edit: I LOVE YOU ALL SM 😭
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sonianvmd · 3 years
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thh characters with a crush on you
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warnings: none, maybe some swearing but otherwise nothing major
oH and mentions of murder and death but this is danganronpa so im going to assume u expected as much
a/n: so we kickin this blog off with a bang, writing for LITERALLY THE ENTIRE TRIGGER HAPPY HAVOC CAST LMFAOAOAOAO (excluding hifumi, yasuhiro, and the two despairs doe bc i’ve already made that clear)
also some character’s sections are shorter than others im sorry i just couldnt think of as many bullet points for them *tiktok cry emoji*
edit: I FORGOT CELSESTE FU K SORRY
spoilers under the cut!!
★ 彡 ★ ミ ★ 彡 ★ ミ ★
makoto naegi
when he realizes he likes you, he doesn’t necessarily panic or anything, but he does get nervous
nervous around you, that is
y’all saw how he was with sayaka
if he says anything that might sound intimate then he’ll immediately rephrase it or reassure he didn’t mean anything by it
he really only does have good intentions but his wording just kinda flops sometimes
he appreciates how you listen to him and value what he says
you don't make him feel dumb or inferior compared to a bunch of ultimates with actual talents
he’ll muster up the courage to tell you eventually
let’s hope his luck comes through 😁
byakuya togami
now when THIS man realizes he likes you, he a bitch nigga bout it 😐
he can't believe he fell for a common plebeian such as you
but it was hard not to
the way you preferred to get to the point
the way you were aware of your situation and didn't sugarcoat how you felt about it, although you certainly were nicer with it than him
he's ruthless
anyways
you knew your priorities and spent no time trying to use your resources
he noticed how much you had in common; in you, he saw himself
and we all know how this mf feels about himself 😐
he’ll be quick to defend you in class trials
he won’t realize he’s doing it but he just subconsciously protects you
but just because he doesn't notice it, don't mean the rest of the class brushes past it as well
yeah they on his ass LMFAOO
kyoko kirigiri
kyoko is very good at keeping her composure so she won’t be very obvious
she’ll probably just hang around you more
she’ll also defend you in class trials, calmly
“oh, it couldn’t have been [name]. i remember seeing them in their dorm around the time the murder took place.”
hifumi probably finna say some dumb shit like “aye what was you doin in their dorm doe” but anyways
she finds you respectable
if you have anything to contribute, she’ll let you take the floor
when she tells you, she’s very composed, but also very indirect LMFAO
she’s not too sure on how to express her interest in you but maybe she’ll go about it like “well, [name], now we’ve made it here, would you like to step back into the world with me?” or somethin else along those lines idk
take her hand
pls
toko fukawa
y’all know her whole “master togami” shtick
yeah so 😁😁😁😁
no but fr, toko ofc still has her borderline stalkerish 🧍🏾‍♀️ tendencies
she’ll often find herself staring at you, either in the library or in the morning meetings everyday at breakfast
but she isn’t as straight forward as she is with byakuya
i actually think she’d be mad shy and non confrontational
the whole thing she kept up with him ? yeah, never again
if you approach her first then she’ll be able to get a few words out but for most of the conversation, she’ll just nervously play with her braids
you’ll most likely put two and two together
unless ur a makoto kinnie bc then you’ll have to wait till someone else puts it in place for u but anyways
if you decide to approach her about it, you’ll kinda be backing her into a corner bc she’s just bad at deflecting things lmao
she’ll eventually confess (begrudgingly but hey i mean its better than nothing)
expect much stuttering and a gesture like giving you a small gift
and not to be that writer that uses japanese terms in english writing but toko seems like a tsundere but not really if that makes sense?? so she’d probably shove it in your hands and if you try to say something then she’ll just try to play it off as not a big deal lol
calls u a baka 😍😍
aoi asahina
i know y’all all see how she is with sakura
yeah.
aoi is the kind of person who’d like to spend time with their crush rather than shy away from them
she values you and your friendship very much
bring her donuts
just trust me bring her donuts
she doesn’t really realize she’s into you like that for a while but believe me, she is, the whole time
and yeah i think she’d be nervous to tell you bc that’s just natural but ultimately she’d be cool about it
uh oh looks like we goin for a swim
sakura ogami
similar to kyoko, she’s very calm
despite her big and bad appearance, she really is a sweet girl
she cares for you and your well-being very much
will indeed go on x games mode for you
the way she tells you is very sincere and well spoken
kith her
naow
im sorry this is like the shortest one i couldn’t think of much for her 😔😔
leon kuwata
flirtatious ass mf
and he’s lightskin
so this just cannot go well
y’all know that bit where it’s like the guy yawns and stretches his arms up and then wraps one around your shoulder
yeah that’s literally him LMFAOO
he’s very confident
he was fairly well known with the ladies at his old school so you know he’s rhockin wit it ‼️
but
you feel.. different than usual ??
those girls were just lil flings n dates bc he was nice enough to accept their confessions and it boosted his ego anyway so it was a win win
but you
he was genuinely interested in you since he had saw you the first time
he didn’t just acknowledge your appearance
he learnt about your personality and your hobbies and what you liked and such, and he really cared and wanted to hear you talk about it all
he felt the need to really make an effort to show you how much he respected and had affections for you
he doesn't tell you in a grand way
probably just asks you out to a movie or somethin
he's chillin
mondo owada
you know
for being the biggest, baddest, most respected biker gang leader
or just for being in a biker gang period
mondo’s a huge softie lol
yeah he gets violent but he’s a sweet guy who cares about and is loyal to his friends
so mfs need to be nice to you
or they gettin whooped
when he decides it’s time to tell you how he feels, he thinks over his words and he’s all confident there’s no way you’d reject him but then he sees you in the halls and goes 🧍🏾 LMFAOOO
he’ll push through but it’s like he’ll walk up to you and look away from you because he refuses eye contact and just go
“so y/n, would you wanna.. tch.. come to a drive-in movie with me or somethin’?... dumbass.”
real smooth mondo i think you got em good job
please tease him LMFAOO it’d be so funny
he’d probably yell but you can tell he’s not mad so you just keep going with it
but once you’re done tormenting him, you do agree to the movie, don’t worry 🙏🏾
also mondo would call his s/o doll
that is all
chihiro fujisaki
my fav dude in a dress <3
chihiro would be quite shy, but that’s just how he is tbh so no surprise there
he’s very kind so he’d check up on you often just to see how you are
he cares about you v much
the way he confesses is one that consists of a red face as he offers you a box of candy or something similar
and he’d feel honored that you reciprocate his feelings
he’d be very scared to tell you his secret but once he does, he’s delighted to hear it doesn’t make any difference to you
he doesn’t know how he got so lucky with you
not only because woooo they like me back but also because you like him despite,, well everything about him LMFAOO
sweet lil boy
i’d feel like he’d talk about you to alter ego a lot
and when u meet the program for the first time, he’s like “oh! you must be [name]! master’s told me all about you :)”
sobbing i miss him
kiyotaka ishimaru
okay here’s the thing
if taka were to like someone
i can’t tell whether he’d be more strict because he doesn’t want them to get in trouble (and also so it would hopefully divert any suspicion that he DOES like you since he treats you the same as everyone else, only more)
or if he’d hold back more because he favors them LMFAOO
so imma write a lil bit for both
in the case that he was even stricter:
he’d prefer to be around you because he believes the best way he can make sure you stay out of trouble is to make sure you don’t get into any in the first place
of course it’s impossible to monitor you every second of every day but he does his best to make sure you’re doing well
if he sees you do anything out of line, he’s shutting that shit down IMMEDIATELY
but in the case he let up:
he’d still lecture you but noticeably less than the other students
if your feet were resting on top of a desk, he’d ask you to move them and then leave you alone rather than yell at you and forcibly move them himself
if you notice his behavior towards you in comparison to the other students do not tease him about it he will go as red as his eyes /hj
either way he’s confessing to you with a polite but exaggerated bow while holding out a well thought out letter with both hands
sayaka maizono
she will tell you
idk why but i feel like she’d be straight up lol
she’d make sure she’s sincere
she is the ultimate pop idol and all so she wants to make sure you know that she really does like you and isn’t playing a sick joke on you or anything
ok bc
while i do think she’d tell you
i’d feel like she’d be a little indirect just to see how you feel
like she’d give you a free ticket to one of her upcoming concerts with a kind smile
and naturally, you're like :o
and of course you come to support her
and seeing you smile at her from the crowd and cheer her on was the encouragement she needed to push her to ask you out
for real this time
she asks if you wanna come to a concert with her and ur like “oh yeah i love ur shows!!” bc ur dumb and then she’s like “no i mean.. for another artist” and eventually it hits you that she’s asking you out and ur like “oH YEAH YEAH SURE THAT SOUNDS GREAT YEAH OK” LMFAOO
———
i really hope that this is good LMFAOO this is my first time writing for dr so 😃👍🏾
fun fact i finished toko’s section first and taka’s last 😁😁
and i’d like to thank @mius-imagination @bloodygir n the rest of the discord for helping me figure some of these characters out *simultaneously whips and nae naes*
bye ive been working on this for like weeks this took forever
———
edit: here’s a deleted section bc i kept blanking for this character 😍
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tendouluvr · 3 years
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aizawa calling you clingy - gn reader
- [attempt at] angst to fluff
- warnings: being called clingy, aizawa gets annoyed with reader and berates them, one use of the word ‘shit’
- wc: 1.9k
a/n: this wasnt......as sad as i wanted... i cant tell if im just not so good at writing angst or immune to it T_T
once again, not edited!
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#! aizawa!!!! eee
#! hes a levelheaded man so arguments are rare
#! u both trust one another so theres no reason to have doubts in ur relationship
#! being his s/o, he tells u things thats not so easy to tell others over time, and you’re patient enough to let him take however much time he needs to let u in
#! however, years of keeping to himself most of the time doesnt just disappear even if you’re his s/o
#! so aizawa does have this tendency to close off and distance himself from u bc of his stress and insecurities
walking through the spacious halls of ua, you were headed towards your lovely boyfriend. aizawas been pretty busy lately with teaching his class, making sure no one is being left behind progress wise, doing his job as a pro-hero, and then spending his free time training with shinsou.
you knew showing up at school unexpectedly was something aizawa found irky, that’s why you made sure to tell him the night before that you would be coming during lunch time to bring him some yummy homemade food.
humming softly to yourself, you finally reached the door opening to class 1-A and walked in. the classroom was empty, but there at the front was no one other than mr. aizawa shouta. you quickly greeted him with a smile and he turned to look at you.
“what are you doing here?” he slowly asked with a look of confusion.
“i brought you some food! did you eat yet? i hope not, i made-,” you quickly stopped talking once you noticed the look he was giving you.
“why are you here? i already told you, you shouldnt be showing up without letting me know first. our relationship is quiet, if the students see they’ll get noisy and ask questions, i’ll get bombarded by my colleagues, and it’ll put you in danger if words get out. did anyone see you coming here? can you listen to me for once instead of continuing to always be near me? you’re so damn clingy and need to start thinking about the consequences your action will bring. i already ate, just go home before anything happens.”
your jaw dropped a little after hearing what he just said to you. did he not remember what you told him last night?
worst of all, you couldnt believe he just called you clingy. you just wanted to do something nice for him by making his favorite food hoping that it’ll relieve some of the stress thats been building up, but he just thought of you as clingy.
fine, if clingy is what you are then you’ll stop bothering him. you quickly whispered an apology, not sure if he could hear or not, and began making your way back home as fast as possible. the food you made for him was still tightly grasped in your hand.
due to the new dormitories, aizawa stays at ua majority of the time. he comes home to your shared apartment whenever he can to spend time with you. unfortunately, those time aren’t usually much because as soon as he’s free, he’s quick to do something else.
once you’ve made it home, you packed the food away and put it in the fridge. you felt your phone buzzing repeatedly, already guessing who it could possibly be, you took it out to see it was your boyfriend.
shou <3: im sorry
shou <3: honey, im so sorry. pls text me back when u can
shou <3: i know what i said hurted u, but i promise u i dont mean it. pls just call me or text me so we can talk about this
shou <3: i have to go back now. but i love u. so much.
staring at your screen, you contemplated texting him back.
letting out a sigh, you decided not to.
putting your phone to the side, you walked to the bedroom and changed out of your clothes into the comfy pjs you were wearing right before you left.
seeing that there was nothing for you to do other than wallow in your insecurities and let out a few tears, you got into bed and made yourself comfortable for an afternoon nap.
aizawa on the other hand was at school and distracted. his own words kept replaying over and over in his head and all he wants to do is smack himself a few times (after comforting u ofc).
his students could tell he was in a badder mood than usual so they collectively agreed to not worsen it (one particular student does not care. can u guess?). aizawa just wanted the day to pass so he can apologize to you directly and make it up with some cuddling.
despite being distracted with planning his apology and thinking about you, he was still teaching as he should and constantly telling his students to be quiet because he’s intimidating like that.
a few hours passed, the students are back in their dorms and some of the teachers are still in school finishing up some work. the hallways were empty and silent, and the weather outside was nice and calm - not too sunny with just the right amount of wind.
however, if you were to peek your head inside of class 1-A at the moment, the environment is an exact 180. aizawa is quickly trying to grade the remaining stack of papers he has on his desk so he can leave as soon as he can. there’s papers everywhere, he’s not so sure where the answer key went off to but to hell with the answer key. he just needs to go home.
his hair is messily tied up and his lips have probably been gnawed off by now. as soon as school ended, he got out his phone to see if you replied and sadly you didn’t. he doesn’t blame you though, considering all of the shit he said to you earlier. 
finally writing down the fat score in red pen onto the final paper, he gathers everything and put to the side of his desk and packed up his stuff. his stuff being his yellow sleeping bag and that’s it.
he went to his room first to clean himself up a bit, and then grabbed a taxi to go to your shared apartment. arriving at the front door, he takes out his copy of the key and entered.
first thing he noticed while entering and taking off his shoes was that the apartment was dark and quiet. he made his way to the kitchen first and turned on its lights to check the fridge. in the fridge laid the food you made for him earlier today. he took it out to start heating it up in the microwave then he walks away from the food and to your bedroom.
quietly opening the door, he poked his head in to see you laying on your side with your back facing the door. he assumed you were asleep and gently closed the door to not wake you up. he made his way over to the bed and sat on the edge of it. 
you, feeling the bed dip, slowly opened your eyes to be greeted with the sight of your boyfriend gingerly brushing his fingertips across your cheekbones. he notices that you’re awake and looks up to meet your eyes.
making eye contact with him, you quietly grunted and brought the blanket up to cover your face while turning your entire body to the other side to ignore him. aizawa sighed and brought his hand down to rest on your waist as he begins talking.
“yn... i know you’re.. mad at me for the things i said to you earlier, but i’m truly sorry. i know saying i didn’t mean it isn’t good enough for you to forgive me, but i want you to know i’m really really sorry. i’ve been so busy for the past few days, my head is all over the place, seeing you at school just got me overthinking and worried that i ended up saying things about you that’s not true at all. i love you so much, hun. you’re the best thing to happen to me. you don’t have to forgive me now, i understand if you want some space.”
it was silent for some time after he finished his apology. the echoing silence was slowly making aizawa worried that you’ll leave him, but he won’t tell you that. thinking that you wanted space, he lifted his shaky hand off of your waist and moved to get off of the bed when you suddenly grabbed onto his hand to keep him there.
“i...i told you the day before that i was going to be visiting you during lunch time. did you not remember? or even hear me tell you?”
aizawa situated himself back down onto the bed before replying. “if i’m being honest, i don’t really remember much of that day at all. my brain was occupied with work and rest, so i was practically drained by the end of the night. i’m sorry i took it out on you, it’s my fault for overworking when i know you’ve been trying to help.”
letting out a soft sigh, you turned your body back towards him. still holding onto his hand, you carefully slotted your fingers in between his and pulled him down to lay with you. he immediately found comfort in this and placed his head into your neck. you could feel his facial hair against your skin making you let out a quiet giggle.
“i love you. i know you have a habit to overwork since that’s all you did before we dated, but please shou, take care of yourself. im not talking physically, cuz you’re already so damn fine, but mentally. i hate seeing you bury yourself in work and training that it even makes me tired just watching you.”
he grumbled something against your neck - his usual reaction to you complimenting him - and held onto you tighter while putting light kisses on your collarbone.
“i know. i will. please bear with me, i know i’m a pain but i’ll always try to be my best for you. i’m never letting you go, love you too much for that.”
“hmm? who said i’m going? you’re stuck with me forever just so you know,” you laughed and patted his head before rising from the bed.
“i heard you heating up the food earlier. get up and come eat,” you tugged aizawa to get him off the bed.
he grumbled once again because he was being forced to leave the warm comfort of your shared bed, but followed you out anyway holding onto your hand.
“wait. you heard me entering? so you were pretending to sleep when i got here?! not funny, babe. not funny. -also don’t take sleep for granted. i did and look where that got me. stop laughing!”
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bonus:
it was the next day and aizawa just finished passing out the grades he rushed grading yesterday. even though it was rushed, he was confident that there wasn’t any mistakes-
“aizawa sensei, you marked this question wrong when it’s right. this one too. and this other one on the last page. are you trying to fail me?!” denki dramatically wailed as he showed aizawa his papers.
guess he did make mistakes after all.
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