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angel-kyo · 3 months

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Pay it no mind

Part XIII

In which reader confesses their feelings to Gojo, but it seems these are not returned (maybe?).

Warnings: reader is on the receiving end of rejection (kinda), and the fact that I'm obsessed with unrequited love is a warning itself. There is a mention of a small accidental cut on reader's hand and broken glass.

Previous: Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI, Part VII, Part VIII, Part IX, Part X, Part XI, Part XII

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“Are you sure you don’t want me to heal it?” Shoko was covering a cut on your hand. “I’ll get it right this time.” She had disinfected and treated the small cut, and now she had secured the bandage tightly around your palm.

Shoko had found you fumbling around in the infirmary for something to cover your cut with. She was still just starting to dive in the possibilities of her healing technique, but when she held your hand with such care, you had no doubt: She will make a great doctor.

“Are you sure you don’t just want another test subject for your technique?”

She smiled. “I have plenty of those,” but her smile faltered as she saw your eyes fixed on your injured hand, “so don’t make it a habit of showing up hurt. I don't need more practice, okay?”

When your eyes flickered back to her, you saw her gaze was softer.

The cut in your hand was not deep, and it was not the work of a curse of any sort; in fact, the reason was pretty mundane: a crystal-made object had broken in your room, and you had hurt yourself accidentally when trying to pick the pieces up. That was what you had told Shoko, and that was what you were going to tell anyone who asked.

Although that was a summarized version of the truth. Something had been broken, yes, but that had been Gojo’s fault, or so it seemed, but you were not sure. In his words, it was an accident.

You wanted to believe him. He was not the type to break things when upset after all. However, it felt as if your friendship was breaking apart as well, and that, you did not know how to mend.

***

Satoru had been odd around you for the last couple of weeks, and he had been particularly upset after you showed up a few minutes late to his birthday lunch, as if he himself did not show up late everywhere, every time. Then he stopped by your room to invite you to the arcade with him and Suguru as if everything had been perfectly normal.

“What’s this?” He was trying to peek into the paper bag sitting on your desk while you were looking for a sweater that was warm enough. “Late birthday present?”

“Why do you think everything is a present for you? I already gave you one for your birthday”, was your response as you finally pulled the sweater you had been looking for from your closet. “Don’t touch it, it’s frail.”

That made him arch an eyebrow.

You narrowed your eyes in his direction as a warning. Satoru was nosy, always had been. When he was a kid and you refused to tell him something, he would sulk until you gave in. Telling him you knew something he did not know was an easy way to tease him, and he had not changed much.

You stood next to him and took the contents out of the bag, taking off the wrapping that was meant to protect it, and held it up to him. A pretty crystal figure you had gotten during your last outing. The item could be considered a collectible of an anime you liked, but it was nicely shaped, and it had been the way it looked in the light what had caught your eye at the store where you got it.

Satoru was not a fan of that same anime, but even he recognized it was a pretty thing. He was about to grab it when you said “A bit pricey too, but Haruki helped me buy it.”

You did not notice how his smile dropped.

“So I guess it technically belongs to both of us, but he said I could keep it.”

It had been a most generous gesture. When Haruki had seen how much you wanted to take the figure home, he was more than willing to pitch in a little despite your protests. You assured him you would pay him back as soon as you could, but he said it was fine; he liked that franchise too, so it was not a loss to him.

Satoru’s hands were redirected to his pockets. “That was nice of him.”

You nodded and put the figure on your desk, admiring it. “Looks good, doesn’t it?”

He hummed in response, and you said “Well, we should get going if…”

“I thought you didn’t like it when people bought you stuff.” Gojo’s gaze was fixed on the figure you had just put on your desk.

He was recalling the gifts he had presented to you through the years. More than one had been “overpriced”, “too much”, or “too lavish” for your taste. You had always been too ready to decline anything from him, but you had no issues with accepting someone else’s help?

“And I do not,” you tried to decipher his expression, “but I paid for it too, and it’s different.” You were going to pay Haruki back, no matter what he had said.

“Because it’s him?” Satoru’s eyes focused on you.

“Huh?”

“Is it different because it’s him and you just do whatever he says?” His tone was calm, so much that it reminded you of the way Suguru sometimes reverted with the snarkiest remark while sounding completely disinterested.

It’s rubbing off on him.

“What do you mean I do whatever he says?”

Satoru knew he should bite his tongue before saying anything that could backfire, but he did not.

“If he says you will like something, you try it; if he tells you to accept something, you take it; and if he asks you to stay with him for a little longer, you’ll do it even if it means you’ll ditch your friend on his birthday.”

All right, he had said it.

“I said I was sorry for being late. How many times do you want me to apologize for it?” You understood why he could have been upset; you really did. But why was he fixating on it so much?

Sure, you and Haruki shared a lot of interests, so his recommendations were often good. And he had been so intent on helping you buy that figure that refusing him would have been rude, and yes, you had been with him that day you were late for Satoru’s lunch, but that had not the reason, and the main event was going to be his birthday dinner anyway (because yes, Satoru insisted on having a birthday breakfast, a birthday lunch and a birthday dinner). You could take the blame for making it late one time, but he was taking it out of proportion.

He sat down on the chair at your desk. “I thought you were not going to come.” Satoru sounded deflated.

Still…

“Satoru, I wouldn’t…”

“If you had to choose, who do you like better…” You thought he was looking at the crystal-made you had gotten, but he was actually looking at the small, framed picture behind it that portrayed two kids. Satoru tried to remember if it was from four or five years ago.

Before high school, you had never attended the same school. Satoru’s family did not allow it, but he was able to sneak out a handful of times when you invited him to your school festivals.

Maybe their last year of elementary school or the first of junior high?

He remembered how you pulled him around all day, introducing him to your friends and showing him around your school.

“Don’t you have to be with your friends?” he had asked referring to your classmates, who seemed to be expecting you join them on a walk around the stalls.

You looked at them and declined with a smile. “No, they are fine without me. Besides, I like you better.”

And when a friend of yours offered to take a picture of you with the camera she had borrowed, you pulled him closer to you and smiled brightly. If he focused, he could hear the shutter sound of the camera.

“Why would you ask me that?” You tried to look at his eyes behind his glasses. You thought he should know the answer, but it was not a fair question, so you settled for just stating the facts. “Both of you are my friends.”

That single phrase seemed to have slapped Satoru on the face and he turned his head to look at you.

“True, but you are not just any friend. And you know it, don’t you, Satoru?”

No, Ikeda. You were wrong.

“You can’t be serious,” he muttered.

“Would you be able to pick between me and Suguru?” You were not meaning to irritate him, but that should give him some perspective. Whenever he was not with you, he was with Suguru. It was evident he cared deeply for him.

He frowned. “It’s not the same. You like him too.”

“Because I gave him a chance. You never gave one to Haruki.”

Satoru shook his head, standing up. “And that makes us the same to you?”

You opened your mouth, but no words came out.

Of course not. You are like no other.

Could you really tell him that? It did not matter, he did not give you the time.

“Fine... I really don’t get you sometimes.”

“You don’t get me?” you scoffed. “You are unrecognizable. Why are you so pissed out all the time these days.”

He sighed, took off his glasses and put them on your desk. “Just…”

You were right. He had been uneasy since that chat with Ikeda (not that he had told you about it), but he had gone there because of you. He did not need that guy trying to get in his head, telling him he liked you, or that he was a coward. He did not need any of that.

What a terrible idea that was.

If he had not gone there, maybe he would not feel as confused, as if he needed to scream something but not knowing what it was.

Now you were looking at him with a question in your eyes, but he was not sure he could answer.

“Just...you should head out, okay?” he finally said.

“This is my room.”

“I mean, Suguru will be waiting for us.” He scratched the back of his neck.

You knew he meant ‘I don’t want to fight you now.’

“Fine.” You turned on your heels and walked out with Satoru following you but left him behind quickly.

Always a fast walker when they are upset, Satoru thought.

He was about to close the door of your room when he membered he was forgetting something.

There, his sunglasses were sitting on top of your desk. He rushed to the side of your desk and grabbed them, and maybe it was the swift motion of his arm, or he might have bumped the side of your desk lightly, but as he was running back for the door, a shattering noise reached him, and next thing he knew, he was looking at a bunch of crystal pieces on the floor.

Shit.

Satoru’s heart rate picked up as if he were about to fight a curse as he walked out and closed the door slowly. How was he going to tell you?

His hand was still on the doorknob when he heard your voice. “Satoru?”

You were coming back for him after realizing he was not following behind. “What are you doing?” You looked at him. Why was he holding your doorknob and looking at the floor?

He turned to look at you, but he did not move his hand. “I will replace it.”

“Replace it?”

“I’m sorry.” He turned the doorknob and the door swung open.

You passed him by to enter your dorm. “What are you talk-?”, you did not finish the question when you saw the mess next to your desk. Your crouched down in front of it. It had shattered entirely; you picked up the base, the only piece somewhat still recognizable.

“You are going to get hurt. Let me…” Satoru was crouching next to you.

“Are you hurt?” You moved away from him.

“[name]…”

“How?” Satoru thought he saw tears forming in your eyes. He avoided your gaze.

“It was an accident. I came back for my...”

“Are you hurt?” You were not looking at him anymore but at the million pieces scattered in front of you.

“No.”

He saw you bite your lip and nod from the corner of his eye. “Then… You should go. I’ll clean this up.”

“I’ll help you.”

“No.”

“I can pay for it.”

“That doesn’t make it okay to have broken it.” You wiped away a stray tear. Was it anger or sadness?

“It wasn’t on purpose.” Satoru defended.

“Wasn’t it?”

He frowned. “Of course not.”

“Okay. Then let me clean it up. Please tell Geto I’ll join you next time.”

Satoru did not feel like you believed him, but still, he stood up. “I really am sorry.”

He saw you nod and headed out.

He only left because he knew you. You were probably too angry to talk to him now. He would beg for forgiveness later and try to make it up to you. Perhaps he could ask Ikeda where you had gotten the item, but he really did not want to talk to him again.

Even if you could just take the money for it, would that make things right between you and him?

Boy, what a mess.

***

“He snapped at you too?” Shoko grinned at Suguru.

Geto just rolled his eyes and sat by her side.

“He is in a bad mood.” The dark-haired boy shrugged. “Is there any way you can ask [name] to hurry? I'm starving.”

“I doubt it.” She sighed and looked wistfully at the food in front of them and then at Gojo, who had left the table for the third time to wash his hands. He was fidgety when he waited, especially when he waited for you.

She was not going to call you. She had tried that, but your phone had probably died. Maybe if she prayed silently, her wish would reach you.

Hurry up, [name]. Annoying birthday boy won't let us eat until you are here.

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Note: Sorry for not updating sooner (sigh...what a week). It might happen again but as always, thank you for reading!

Next: Part XIV

@mavs-stuff @witchbybirth @crookedlyaddictedone-blog @tqd4455 @maybe-a-bi-witch @mo0nforme @maliakealoha @zacatecanaaaa @blushhpeachh @astriarose @missesgojosatoru @ba-ks @sukunasleftkneecap @songbirdlully @cole-silas @heijihattorisgf @chokesonspit @hersheyzzz @smolbeanzzz @luciledreamz @avidreadee123 @moonmalice @ratscandaler @sadmonke @allie-jay

#gojo satoru #gojo x reader #jjk #jjk fanfic #jujutsu kaisen #gojo x y/n #jjk drabbles #gojo x you #jjk gojo #gojo fanfic #gojou satoru x reader #satoru gojo #satoru gojo x you #satoru gojo x y/n #pay it no mind

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crushedsweets · 8 months

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Do you have any headcanons of Lyra and Toby’s relationship?

this has been in my inbox for like over a week by now because this is a big task in my head. i will focus more on the family itself, but obviously the siblings r there.

ROGERS FAMILY HCS UNDER THE CUT... tw for abuse and addiction, of course

ok. WE'RE GETTING PERSONAL HERE. im the eldest daughter of 3 so the way in which i project into older siblings is insane. ive also had an addict father(no where near like frank though let me clarify) so in general . . the story.. makes me feel very...... basically their relationship is very personal to me.

lyra is about 2-3 years older than toby.

frank's dad was in the vietnam war, his grandparents were in wwii, his grandparents in wwi, etc. so he went into military service right after marrying connie. for a long while, he was SUPER military strict. those kids were up, made their bed, and down for chores by 6am everyday. he made them do military time rather than civilian time. he was incredibly traditional, expected a perfectly clean household, a polite soft daughter, a strong bold son, perfect wife. he wanted the 1950s nuclear family model. so toby and lyra grew up in a very clean, strict, traditional household.

in my au, frank wasnt outright abusive until the kids were around 8-11. it was after he developed his addictions and lost his job. the kids really didnt understand what was changing at first, and legitimately were like 'omg dad isnt making us wake up at 5am everyday..... this is so cool'.

theyd start having sleepovers in eachothers room, slacking a bit on chores, going to sleep late, sleeping in. toby didnt develop his tourettes until he was around 7, so lyra and toby would walk home from their elementary school together. sometimes, theyd walk another friend home first, stop at convenience stores to get candy, pet a cat, etc. frank didnt say a thing for the first few months, just drunken grumbles along connies worried 'WHERE HAVE U BEEN'. if they weren't walking around the area, they were in the backyard playing soccer.

eventually the abuse began, and all of those little freedoms were quickly stripped from the kids.

toby developing tourrettes around this time was a painful coincidence, because not only did he experience abuse at home, but awful bullying at school. he was promptly pulled out after completing 3rd grade. he was only 8.

lyra would practically run home from school everyday, as fast as a 12 year old girl with a backpack could manage, just because she spent all 7 hours in school worrying about toby at home. connie had to start working to pay bills, so..

when toby was around 11 and lyra was around 13, toby started kinda just. being more distant. he was kind of a dick to lyra for a period of time, half because of everything he was going through, half because puberty is rough. his room started getting messy, lyra had to start picking up chores he was slacking on , etc. lyra isnt perfect and began to resent toby for this, and eventually, the two were kinda at eachothers throats for like 6 months. which isnt a lot, but for kids, its an eternity.

when franks abuse evolved from ''just'' verbal abuse, to shoves, to slaps, to full on beatings, toby started egging frank on. just to get him off of lyra and connie. obviously he couldnt feel it, and while it sure took a fucking mental toll, it was so much easier to just wait it out rather than listen to the girls cry.

lyra didnt even realize toby was doing this for a while, she just thought it was all part of him going through his little hormonal asshole phase, until one day frank made a fucked up comment about 'youre lucky that boy is always causing trouble. was supposed to be you'. then it kinda clicked and she very quickly tried to fix their relationship back to what it was.

frank eventually scared connie so badly that there'd be periods of time where she'd take the kids in the middle of the night, and run off to either her parents place, or even a random hotel in another city. she'd use cash, force the kids to keep their phones at home, leave literally everything behind and often make the kids pick out new toothbrushes at a random walmart. etc. it would only last a few days each time, and lyra fought so hard to stay strong while her mom cried and toby closed himself off.

she'd try to get toby to come to the hotel pools with her, try to get him to watch tv with her, try to get him to just fucking talk to her. he was often catatonic during these little runaways, once the confusion adrenaline and fear wore off

it wasnt until they went around a month without seeing their father, and frank had some weird fucking. 'those are MY kids too' thing and went to connie's parents house while all the adults were out, and forced the kids back home. this was the first time lyra was full on sobbing and begging and pleading in years. that was what shifted something in toby, too.

now tobys 13, lyras 15, and theyre on better footing. theyre starting to understand eachother. tobys back on keeping up with chores, knowing that either him lyra or connie was going to get beat if they were missed. sometimes he'd just silently come into lyras room and lay down and watch tv with her. they'd talk about books, about school, their trust was built right back up and toby ended up being the first to know about lyras school drama, gossip, boys, etc.

toby wasn't really socialized properly, since he's been homeschooled for 6 years by now. all the time, he'd hear lyras stories, and wish he could go to school. his mom would be horrified anytime toby asked, because all she could remember was her sweet boy coming home and crying into her arms after a day of being mocked and pushed around by peers.

so he began to live through lyra, in a sense ? he almost became a diary for lyra, and he kinda loved it. she was like a sitcom to him.

frank wasnt a good father by any means during this period, he was still awful, but he wasn't constantly looking for trouble. the kids kept to themselves, connie did everything she was expected to, he didnt give a shit about their grades or social lives. he couldn't even recgonize when lyra was coming home late.

lyra got her license the second she turned 16. the house had two cars, and its not like frank was ever going anywhere, so she was always going everywhere. she adored the freedom, and took toby wherever he'd let her. he only really left the house if he was going grocery shopping with his mom or something, so it was kinda weird now that he was just. going to malls. going to restaurants. going to parks. just Hanging Out. every now and again he'd stick around when Lyra was with her friends, but he didn't like them so it was rare.

sometimes theyd just drive together for a long time. at night, she was the one to take him to every hospital visit, she even got him to volunteer at a pet shelter she worked at for a bit. 3 years and they become so close again, and lyra is tobys best friend. she's his entire world because who else does he have ? he loves his mom, but she's married to the man he hates more than anything

toby was 16 and lyra was 18 when frank strangled toby till he passed out. thats finally when connie kicked frank out, forcing frank to go live on his moms couch. lyra was mortified and started spending an absurd amount of time with toby. she took online community college courses just so she could spend even more time with toby, and it didnt hurt to do so since frank wasnt there anymore. things were getting better for the family, frank was gone, lyra was in college, connie was working, toby was volunteering at shelters and even had a few acquaintances he'd talk to now and again.

lyra picked toby up from the shelter he volunteered at when the accident happened.

lyra and connie had matching silver necklaces with a circle pendant that had their initials. toby didnt cuz frank would get pissed if toby tried wearing jewelry, but when lyra died, toby immediately clung to it. he wears it religiously. the only time he takes it off is if he knows he's going to kill someone that day. otherwise, its always on him.

lyra died and was buried in colorado. toby lives in alabama now. so he really doesnt visit her grave often. only on her birthday, he'll scramble together some money and get brian, tim, and kate to agree to cover his uh. 'shifts' with slenderman, and take a few loooonnnggg train rides over to colorado.

he'll leave two bouquets of flowers. one for lyra, one for connie.

connie just feels in her heart that its toby. she has no reason to believe it, they've never bumped into eachother (toby's visiting at like 2am and falls asleep near the grave for a few hours), but she knows nobody else whos visiting lyras grave and leaving two sets of the same flowers.

toby and lyras childhood home was put on sale shortly after it was reconstructed from the fire, and connie moved in with her sister. lyras bedroom door was the only one that was shut and left unscathed after the fire (legitimately keep your doors shut if you ever have a housefire it can save entire bedrooms and even lives). the rest of the house was ruined, but not lyras room. connie kept every single one of her belongings, but she's put some photos out on the grave. tobys taken them, and connie believes it was him. again, she has no reason to believe it other than the flowers and 'why would someone take a photo of my dead daughter.'

anyway hi. in tears. i love them. sorry. i just retell their story over and over and get sad everytime

#asks #chatterbox #creeped #hcs #ticci toby #toby rogers #connie rogers #lyra rogers #creepypasta fanart #creepypasta art #creepypasta #creepypasta headcanons #ticci toby headcanons #creepypasta headcanon #tw abuse #tw addiction #ty if u read everything

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nico-di-genova · 20 days

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In My Mind, You are Safe

Chapter 3

Alternate link to read on A03 Chapter 1 Chapter 2

“He knows?” Lance manages to ask the night after he wakes up, motioning with his head to his dad who slept snoring deeply on a leather couch in the lounge. “About us?”

“I did a bad job of keeping it secret.”

Lance thinks he maybe had too, what with the ass grabbing played as camaraderie and the way he couldn’t stop staring at Fernando during debriefs. His father wasn’t a dumb man, but rather a very observant one. He’d known Lance was smoking pot at fifteen not because of the bloodshot eyes and the smell, though those would have been the obvious giveaways, but because his reaction time during training took a hit.

‘If you’re going to smoke weed, you better do a damn better job of hiding it,’ He’d demanded.

Lance never touched the stuff again, he knew he’d get caught.

But with Fernando he thought he had maybe been a little better. They had rules about it. No kissing in the paddock, the garage, not even their drivers rooms unless it was a special circumstance – the circumstance always ending up being Fernando was needy and Lance was bored. They didn’t go to each other’s hotel rooms until it was late enough that no sane fucker would be wondering the halls. Nothing obvious could be left above the neckline, because Lance had already gotten looks from his father after the weekend on Fernando’s ugly yacht where they spent half the time naked and the other half sipping champagne. All those rules seem to have been thrown out the window the moment Lance ended up in intensive care.

Intensive Care

The word makes him shudder.

Fernando sees the movement and presses a kiss to Lance’s knuckles, “Cold?”

“Kinda.”

It’s not really a lie, the AC is set on Ice Box and he’s got nothing but a thin sheet, a stiff blanket, and bare legs beneath a hospital gown to protect him.

“Here,” Fernando pulls the Aston Martin sweatshirt from the back of his chair and helps work it over Lance’s head. It takes an extreme amount of maneuvering, and gentle tugging, and he can’t put one arm through the sleeve because of the IV in his hand. It kind of sucks at providing any actual warmth, but it smells like Fernando so that’s a comfort all on its own.

“Thanks,” He rasps.

“Of course, Lancito.”

“I missed you,” Lance blurts out, which doesn’t really make sense because he was just with Fernando in the paddock. Just with him in his driver’s room. But Lance also thinks he maybe remembers the dark. The emptiness. The distant voices that sounded like they were right beside him and yet a world away all at once. He thinks he remembers being scared.

“I missed you too. Stop talking, you will irritate your throat.”

Lance wants to make a joke about Fernando not wanting to hear him speak, but that would take too many words and he already kind of feels like he’s breathing around fire. Instead, he accepts the water Fernando offers him and sips slowly through the straw to draw out the soothing effect. He has to be careful with how much he drinks, and he can’t have solid foods yet, which Lance chalks up to normal post coma recovery, but might also have something to do with the abdomen injury as well.

He knows it’s serious because when he’d asked the doctor how long until he could get back to racing she hadn’t given him an answer. And Fernando couldn’t look him in the eye. They don’t lie to each other, brutal honesty has always been their forte. That, or steadfast avoidance.

“Careful,” Fernando chides when Lance sips too quick and chokes on the liquid, some of it escaping his mouth to dribble in a cool line down his chin.

Lance rolls his eyes. Fernando should be used to the sounds of his choking by now, he’s certainly gagged himself on worse than a few drops of water.

“Brat.”

Lance smiles around the straw, all innocence and fluttering eyelashes.

“You are lucky you’re in a hospital bed.”

Which, he isn’t, far from it, but for the moment things feel almost normal so he ignores the remark.

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There is an argument about who Lance will go home with.

Lance’s Switzerland apartment is out of the question, his agency being robbed by the injuries his body is still trying to adjust itself to. His dad knows he can afford better around the clock care, people to help Lance with everything from changing his bandages to holding his dick while he pisses. Fernando knows Lance doesn’t want that, knows the humiliation of it would probably kill him faster than his car in the wall should have. They don’t ask for Lance’s opinion on the matter though as he sits silently in the bed between them. Watching them fight for custody of him, it’s familiar, reminds him of being small and wondering if he was going to have to have two bedrooms after his parent’s divorce.

“He needs help Fernando. Doctors, nurses, staff – not just you.”

“I have taken care of him before. I know what he needs.”

Healing from a head wound and a piece of carbon fiber tearing through his body isn’t really the same as a cold, but Lance appreciates Fernando’s commitment. He doesn’t say this of course, because neither one of them seem to really notice he’s there, just continues sipping slowly from the cup in his hands and picking at the starched blanket over his lap. His throat doesn’t hurt anymore, swallowing doesn’t take as much effort.

“You think you know better than me? I’m his father,” his dad states. As if it needs stating. As if Lance wasn’t born with Lawrence’s name over his head and a silver coated thumb in his mouth. As if there were any injury out there that would make him forget who he belongs to, down to the blood and marrow of him, the very making.

“I am his-” Fernando pauses. They never really put a name to it. There hadn’t been much discussion about what he and Lance were before he started bleeding out in Fernando’s arms. Not that he would remember that of course, doesn’t remember much about barreling into the wall at top speed. The doctors say that’s probably for the better.

“Boyfriend?” Lance supplies helpfully around the straw in his mouth. He’s continuing his bad habit of gnawing on the plastic, the taste reminiscent of the tube he had woken up choking on, but also of the bottle he would carry around during race weekends.

Fernando motions at him appreciatively, “Yes. This. I am this.”

His dad’s scowl deepens, “This isn’t a fever and some rest. It’s physical therapy, cognitive therapy. He will need someone 24/7.”

He is sitting right here, and he doesn’t necessarily agree. Lance is needy in the same way a cat is, he craves attention only as long as it is wanted, too much and he will probably begin scratching at you. But there hasn’t been much in his control since he lost the wheel at Silverstone.

“Okay. I will do that.” There’s not a hint of hesitation in Fernando’s tone, when Lance knows there absolutely should be. Whatever unestablished thing is between them, it’s far from stable enough to rest Lance’s entire laundry list of medical issues on, or at least Lance thought it was.

“I can hire someone too, Lawrence,” Fernando pushes, “You are not the only man with money. Lance has not lived with you since he was a child, yes? He needs familiarity. Routine? That is not in your mansion. Let him come home.”

Home.

Is that what Fernando’s place is to him? Most of his memories there are the sort that speak less of a home and more of the flat you wake up in after a one-night stand. Strewn clothes and half-finished bottles of beer on the kitchen counter, The warm press of Fernando’s body along his bare back. Would he be healing on the same sheets they routinely fucked on? Propped up on the pillows that know the shape of his teeth?

Is home where you have a drawer and your PlayStation hooked up in the living room? Or is it the childhood space where you keep a collection of Pokémon cards and karting trophies to collect dust? Lance isn’t sure, mainly because he’s never stayed in one place long enough to really understand the feeling.

His dad throws the last card in his arsenal, the thing they all three have been wondering at.

“And what about the season? You’re done then?”

Fernando bites his lip, thinks on it.

“I go back when he does.”

No one wants to state the obvious, least of all his father. Fernando has played the winning hand, deploying the same dirty tactics he’s fond of utilizing when behind the wheel.

Lance stops chewing on the straw. He stops picking at the blanket. Instead, he just stares blankly at the fabric and tries to tune their bickering out. He’s getting a headache, the kind of stabbing pain that only comes when he tries to think too hard about a memory that has escaped him. It’s easier to blame the pain on the bright fluorescent’s, or the way Fernando’s voice is starting to rise, instead of the crack in his skull.

In the end, he goes with Fernando. He asks to go with Fernando, because as much as he loves his father, he cannot stand the thought of trying to make himself fit in a space that no longer knows the shape of him.

“We did get along, so you know,” Fernando says when Lance is buckled into his passenger seat, groggy from the meds they’d dosed him with. Supposedly, they’re supposed to help Lance with the nausea, manage it during the ride.

“When I was ‘sleep?” Lance slurs, still not calling his coma by its name. He’s got his head resting on the car window even though the nurses had warned him not to do that. He’s supposed to be focusing on stationary things within the car, like the warm weight of Fernando’s hand on his thigh, not watching the trees whip by outside while his skull rattles against the glass.

“Yes,” Fernando says, focused on the road with an intensity Lance has only ever seen him possess when behind the wheel, and therefore does not realize the implication of his answer. That he and Lance’s father could only get along as long as Lance was the unconscious white flag waving between them. He tries to backpedal. “No, that is not-.”

Lance shrugs, lethargic, “S’okay. Go back to sleep for you then.”

“Querido no, that is not what I meant,” Fernando actually sounds pained, the nickname rolling of his tongue with an ease Lance did not realize could be familiar to them. Lance just feels exhausted. Consciousness actually takes a conscious effort these days.

“Lance?”

“Hmm?”

“I did not mean that. You know I did not mean that, yes?”

“Mmm-hmm.”

He’ll probably forget the conversation by the time he wakes up anyway, memories leak out of him now the same way his blood had.

--------

Surprisingly, Lance has more at Fernando’s UK home than he remembers. Or, unsurprisingly, depending on how much you take his brain injury into account.

He’s got half a bottle of shampoo in the shower, a razor and toothbrush at the sink, most of his hoodies and a good chunk of his sweatpants. Somehow, his favorite pair of socks has even ended up here, thrown in with Fernando’s dirty clothes and discovered by the cleaners. He takes to padding around the place in the loungewear, hood pulled over his head and keeping his hands tucked into the hoodie pocket – subconsciously splaying a palm along his stomach as he always has, but now pressing at his healing abdomen with newfound curiosity.

Fernando will catch him doing it sometimes, grab him by the arm and then the wrist until he can pull Lance’s probing fingers away from the tender skin and entwine them in his own.

“It won’t heal if you pick at it.”

“Feels weird. Itchy.”

It also sometimes hurts so much that Lance finds himself crying silently into the pillow while Fernando sleeps soundly beside him. The phantom pain of an injury he does not remember. When Fernando checks that the healing is coming along nicely, Lance deliberately does not watch. He hasn’t actually seen the incision since he accidentally looked while a nurse at the hospital was cleaning the wound, and nearly lost his light lunch of applesauce and pudding at the sight. It’s ugly, disgusting, and Fernando seems completely unphased by it.

Fernando squeezes his hand, raises it so he can press a kiss to Lance’s knuckles, a quickly forming new habit for him, “I’m sorry, cariño.”

Apologies flow from him easily now. He apologizes for splashing Lance with water when they’re washing dishes. Apologizes for grabbing Lance when he slips in the shower. Apologizes for the simple way the words seem to flow off his tongue now. It’s strange to Lance, stranger than waking up choking on a plastic tube with your dad on one side and your long-term fuck buddy/partner/boyfriend/mentor on the other. Stranger even that it’s coming from Fernando Alonso of all people, who notoriously does not apologize.

Lance is used to arguments between them ending in mutual silence on either end of the couch, not Fernando pressing a kiss to the furrow between his brow and asking for forgiveness.

“Stop doing that,” Lance grumbles, for what must be the hundredth time.

“Sorry.”

“Fernando.”

“Sor- okay,” and then he kisses Lance’s cheek with the gentleness of atonement anyway. Lance misses when Fernando would just slam him against a wall, crowd him against the marble of the kitchen counters, and talk Lance into sinking to his knees. Not that it ever really took much talking to begin with.

Fernando doesn’t fuck him anymore, which he thinks is maybe the biggest travesty to come out of all of this. Instead, he trails careful fingers down Lance’s side, presses kisses to his neck, his shoulder, his jaw with a tenderness that should be considered foreplay. Then he pulls away, leaves Lance half-hard in his sweatpants, and pretends he doesn’t notice the pout on Lance’s lips. Lance doesn’t beg, at least not before Fernando has gotten him undressed, and he’s not going to ask Fernando to suck his dick while the man is on his knees making sure Lance’s abdomen is still healing properly. So it becomes another thing they just don’t talk about. Lance is worried he’s picked up his father’s habit for avoidance.

--------

Nearly three months after his crash, Lance’s morbid curiosity gets the better of him. His therapy is going well, all three of them. The physical therapy for his legs, because they’d gotten fucked up too, though on a much smaller scale, and for his hands and for – well, for every part of him, is almost familiar. He’d done a few rounds of physio for his wrists after his bike accident, though those had been high intensity because Lance actually had a deadline. The cognitive therapy is more of a challenge, because his memory is still shot to shit, but he can remember Chloe’s birthday again so at least there’s that. The therapy therapy is kind of annoying, only because Lance has never really seen the value of shrinks picking apart his mental state to begin with, but it’s easy. Sometimes they play Jenga, sometimes they talk about how Lance is scared he’ll never be the same again, sometimes Lance excuses himself to the bathroom and screams until his voice is as hoarse as it had been once the intubation tube was removed. It’s all a process.

But he still doesn’t remember the crash.

He can see the reflection of it in Fernando’s eyes sometimes, the fear, the shame. The guilt is the worst, usually brought on when Lance jerks awake from a dream he cannot remember and finds Fernando watching him in the dark with eyes shining.

“You okay?” He will ask, propped up on an elbow and tracing a finger along Lance’s spine. The touch sends shivers through Lance, want and need all bundled up in the foggy confusion as his brain tries to reorient itself.

“Fine.”

“You are sure?”

“Definitely.”

Talking was never their strong suit. But Lance has always been able to read people, an ability fine-tuned after years of rejection. He likes to know when people are planning to turn on him before it happens, doesn’t want to be blindsided by a journalist asking him some probing question only to see if they can get a response. He can see Fernando’s guilt, and eventually he caves and searches for the why.

F1 TV, or his father, or maybe the FIA have made a herculean effort to scrub the full footage of the crash from the internet. But Lance has grown up in the age of the digital, so it doesn’t take him long to find it on YouTube, under a video titled “Canadian Buries it in Wall – ’24”. Inventive.

What he remembers is this, sitting beside Fernando in the pre-race briefing. Both of them trying to listen to Mike explain the stacked pit strategy again, but also occupying themselves with each other. Lance, dick still aching from being teased in his driver’s room, was feeling particularly vindictive. He’d been inching his foot slowly up Fernando’s pants leg, his hand up the inside of Fernando’s clothed thigh.

Fernando hadn’t responded. Sat ramrod straight in his seat and kept his eyes glued ahead. Until Lance just barely brushed his knuckles along the bulge in Fernando’s pants and received a sharp pinch to his own thigh in response.

“Ow!” Lance had yelped, loud enough that a few engineers turned to look at him.

Lance had blushed, “Hit my- hit my knee, sorry.”

And then he’d woken up in the hospital. The irritation to his thigh replaced by the throbbing pain that occupied his entire body.

He wants to remember, and so he hits play. He watches himself drive like he’s analyzing onboards for where he can maybe improve, with the same detached feeling. There’s Fernando behind him, and Russel ahead, and Lance in the middle of it all holding his ground. Fernando’s given the order to back-off, told not to fight because Lance’s tire management has been better, and he’s got the speed and clean air for now. Their fight is with Russel, except that Russel was six ahead and Fernando wanted to play sooner rather than later.

The commentators say Lance is driving surprisingly well, he tries not to grind his teeth.

And then Fernando pulls out of the slipstream, makes a charge to overtake in the straight, and Lance sees himself move. Just a twitch of the car, a fraction of movement in an effort to defend, before Fernando’s front right tire clips his back left and Lance spins. He can see himself try to overcorrect, but then the car goes sideways, the tires leave the track when he skitters across marbles, and he’s flipping until there’s only the wall to stop him.

The red flag is immediate, so is Fernando’s stop when he pulls into the gravel and doesn’t even hesitate to book it to Lance’s on fire car.

“Lance. Lance are you alright? Lance. Respond. Confirm you’re alright,” Andrew’s voice comes through the broadcast, but Lance’s own response does not. It’s eerily quiet, especially in the empty space of Fernando’s house when the man isn’t there to bring life to it.

They play a message from Esteban who drives by, the Frenchman’s voice laced with worry as he asked, pleaded, for Lance to be okay. Lance understands now why Esteban had looked so pale when they’d spoken last. When Lance had been curled up on Fernando’s couch, shrouded in shadow because the lights hurt his head, and Esteban had been sat in the chair across from him. He’d thought it was maybe because they were in Fernando’s house, thought the strangeness of the setting might have just had Esteban on edge. He hadn’t realized it was because his best friend had seen his on fire car and thought for a moment he might not get out.

It's suddenly a little hard to breathe. He blames the tightness in his chest on his ribs, even though those have healed by now.

“Lance?” Fernando’s voice in the doorway, quiet, worried.

Lance jumps, winces when he pulls at something sore, and slams the laptop shut with enough force that he’s a little scared to open it again. His eyes dart to Fernando’s and-

Oh. The guilt. He’s drowning in it.

“Fer, I’m sorry, I- fuck. I just…I didn’t- I’m sorry,” and now he’s the one gushing apologies, wanting so badly to tear his gaze away from the tears building in Fernando’s eyes. He shouldn’t have looked. It was easier when he didn’t know the shape of his body in the wreckage, when he didn’t know it had been Fernando who ran to him, who crashed into him. Pandora’s box and all of its contents are spilling across the mattress.

“I’m sorry,” Lance says again, because Fernando still has not moved from the doorway and he’s not sure what else he could do. He can’t walk to him, his leg is still aching from physio, hence the whole curled up in bed watching his own life-threatening crash while Fernando was supposed to be out picking him up a ridiculously overpriced smoothie from his favorite place down the road.

“No,” Fernando chokes, “No. Lance. No. I am sorry. I am so, so sorry. I-“ Fernando chokes again and then he’s sobbing. Lance’s spirulina, coconut, gold flaked smoothie still clutched in one hand and his free one wrapping around himself as he doubles over in the doorway.

Lance does go to move then, sore muscles be damned.

But when he grabs Fernando, the man only sobs harder. He doesn’t pull away though, he needs Fernando for the support now. His thigh is killing him.

“Fer, Nano, baby, please. It’s okay. I’m okay.” He doesn’t really know what he’s doing, because Fernando doesn’t cry. He bottles everything up, ghosts Lance for a week, and then comes back as if nothing was ever wrong in the first place. Lance doesn’t know how to comfort him, and he doesn’t think that’s something to be blamed on the memory loss, he’s almost certain this is entirely new to them.

Fernando collapses against his chest, Lance stumbles under the weight of them both. His body protests the sudden movement, something sharp and hot spiking it’s way through him, starting in his leg and moving to the incision scar on his stomach.

He gasps, tries to breathe through the pain. It’s kind of like how his wrists were after a race, before he plunged them into a bowl of ice, he can manage.

“I’m okay,” he says, and hopes it doesn’t sound too tense. There’s sweat breaking out along his brow. He kind of wants his smoothie. “I’m okay, Fer. I promise.”

Fernando’s tears are soaking the fabric of his hoodie. Lance cradles the back of his head, and ignores the damp feel of them against his chest, ignores the warm heat of Fernando’s breath as he tries to find air.

“An accident,” he wails, “I swear, Lance, I swear.”

“I know.”

He saw, just now, could clearly see himself moving and see Fernando slamming the brake to try to stop it. He sees Fernando running. Running to him. People who hurt Lance intentionally are hardly ever concerned enough to check on him afterward, some of them think he deserves the knife twisted inside him simply because he can afford the medical bill. He knows Fernando would never try to hurt him, but he also knows nothing he says could absolve the guilt.

“I know, dude. And I love you, but could we maybe move this to the bed? My leg is killing me.” Fernando, thankfully, lets himself be maneuvered until Lance is sitting on the edge of the bed and Fernando resting solidly in his lap, knees bracketed on either side of his thighs. It’s the most contact they’ve had since Lance woke up, it’s making him a little heady.

Fernando rests his cheek against Lance’s shoulder, cries into the crook of his neck, and Lance tries to soothe him as he takes intermittent sips from his smoothie that he’d pulled from Fernando’s grip before it ended up spilled across the sheets. He rubs a hand along Fernando’s back, a pantomime of how his dad used to calm him down when he had a rough race and had to blow off steam in his driver’s room. It’s not working very well. Lance is maybe bad at this.

“I shouldn’t have watched the stupid video,” he grumbles. Knowing the how has not brought him any peace, only made him realize the true severity of his injuries. His therapist might have been right in saying to stop pressing at the wound, Fernando too for pulling his hand away.

“I could have killed you,” Fernando cries, “I almost killed you. You- you were-“

“I know, Nando, I know. Please, just- just stop. Please.”

It’s too much too fast. Fernando’s guilt, his own brain trying to process it all, the headache forming at his temples and the exhaustion crashing down on him. He’s tired all of the time now. And not in the lazy way he once was, like a big cat stretching in a patch of sunlight, more like someone who’s been crumpled in their car and extracted without all of the pieces smoothed back out.

He wants to sleep. He maybe wants to cry himself.

“Thought I would lose you,” Fernando mumbles, miserable and quiet, his stubble rough against the soft skin of Lance’s neck when he speaks.

“You didn’t. I’m safe. I’m right here.”

Lance hadn’t realized he was Fernando’s to lose, didn’t really put the pieces together until now that he maybe belonged to someone other than his family. He didn’t think anyone would ever actually want him. It’s a weird feeling, makes something beneath the scarring and the healing wound in his gut twist.

“You have me. I’m right here. I’m safe. I’m here.”

I’m okay, he thinks, and he starts to believe that it will be true.

#there may be a chapter 4 actually #I wanted to write more but I didn't want the chapter to be stupid long #strollonso #strollonso fic #my fic #lance stroll #fernando alonso

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chrollohearttags · 1 year

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anxiety | e. jaeger x black fem reader

“…I just want to talk to somebody that gets me..”

synopsis: a patient suffering from a rare illness finds solace in an unlikely companion, resulting in a friendship and maybe even more.

cw: heavy angst, eren is a nursing student, (he’s a bit of a smartass too, as well as has his own sickness) chronically ill patient reader, (has both mental/physical illnesses), mentions of BPD, anxiety, etc, reader being kind of mean, mentions of self harm, comfort, kissing, hand holding, light mentions of sex and virginity, playful banter between reader and eren

📝: yes, this is kinda based off of Megan’s song, yes, I am okay, I promise. I just wanted to test myself again and since this was like one of my favorite AU’s on WattPad, I wanted to revisit it. (with a bit of a twist this time)

room 403: the very last one to sit at the end of the sixth floor hallway..the desolate, isolated area housed behind the off white walls of Southern Memorial Hospital. Where quality and compassion came first. Where patients were handled with the utmost care. And where (y/n) (l/n) had spent the better part of four months, confined to a bed and clinging to hope that you’d someday get out. However, fate was a cruel bitch that found enjoyment laughing in your face..unfortunately, this wasn’t your first stint as a resident here. In fact, you had been in and out of for a couple years now. Constantly coming back due to some new mystery symptom of your long running sickness. Some strange autoimmune disorder that kept you planted to this hard mattress and prevented you from knowing true happiness. It was a damn shame really..here you were spending the supposed best years of your young life chained to this hellish place. While peers were out attending concerts, going to college, working and even delving into dating for the first time, you were forced to listen to the sounds of beeping machinery and buzzing equipment. The closest you’d get to a cocktail was the disgusting combo of medications administered through your IV every night. You hated it! Hated all of it…this hospital, this illness…your body and all of the people here. Speaking to you as if you were a fucking child with no common sense. Showing pity and giving praise where it wasn’t deserved..you just wanted to haul off and punch one of those condescending bitches. However, there was one person in this godforsaken place that did make it a bit more tolerable..

“You better not be asleep. I just got here.” Yes, the one annoying voice in this entire hospital that you could stand. You could hear it outside the door of your secluded space. A single curtain shielding you from view as they entered. As always, you were perched upright against your pillows, glaring out of the window to a life you only wished you’d known..by now, it was getting pretty late and the once bright sunny skies had dimmed to a purple darkness with stars beginning to litter the view. “Then just leave. I’m tired.” Just then, the cloth partition would pull back and you’d be met with a very familiar face. Those sharp green eyes staring directly at and through you like always, long brown hair tied into a bun of some sort and those signature blue scrubs from the city’s premier nursing program. On the name badge? One you’d never forget for as long as you lived. “What do you want, Eren? Don’t you have a job to do? I’m pretty sure annoying me is not a part of the description.” Dismissing the brunette without so much as a full glance in his direction. Oh, but he saw right through you. Peered through to your soul like looking through a this sheet of glass…it pissed you off so badly! “For it to be a job, they’d have to pay me. Credit hours don’t pay my bills so I’ll do as I please until then. Besides, they love me too much to get rid of me. And you do too, so hush.” Anyone else would’ve been off put by your rather crass personality but him? He thoroughly enjoyed it and instead, took a seat at the foot of your bed, plopping down with a bag in hand. Bopping your nose with his fingertip.

“But since you’re being a brat, I guess I’ll eat these cupcakes by myself then.” it was the only thing that grabbed your attention as he knew you had an affinity for all things sweets. One of the very rare things you’d consume that didn’t make you feel sick to your stomach. Bitter hospital food tended to linger on your tongue for a while so it was nice to have something that cleansed the palette. Shifting in your seat, arms barred against your chest, (y/n) gave a side eye before tugging the bag. “You’re a type one diabetic, don’t be stupid.” retorting before retrieving one of the treats from the bag and tossing it back. “And you’re nosy.” Maybe it was part of the reason why you guys got along so well. As someone who suffered from a lifelong disease himself, he knew your pain all too well. That and he was a complete, total jackass. Without changing word, he’d grab the other and the the two of you would indulge in the delicacies as you spoke about your day. He told you about how he had an upcoming exam..one that would get him one step closer to the infamous N-CLEX. it brought back memories..as you had once pursued the degree yourself before falling too sick to even sit up in a classroom. But that bountiful knowledge bank of a brain never quite rid of that information. So I’m exchange for snacks and company, you pass on some of it to him, along with tips to ace those difficult tests. “So you think you can pass it?” questioning through a semi stuffed mouth; a hand covering it to prevent crumbs from spilling out. To which he’d nod his head, wiping away small remnants of frosting around his lips. “God, I hope so. My pops will never let me hear the end of it if I don’t. Hell, he might put me out, knowing him.” You wanted to laugh but you knew he wasn’t exaggerating. Eren had big shoes to fill, considering that he was not only a lovable goofball but the son of a prominent physician, Dr. Jaeger. Who oversaw the sister hospital to this one and because of that, his two kids got no break from him. Having been preceded by his older brother, who already was working towards his doctorates, he had no other choice but to be a success as well. You knew he studied hard, which is why you rooted for him secretly. “Don’t sweat too much. You’ll be fine, I promise.” the words sounded well enough but only time would tell if he could. But if they were from your own admission, he felt much better about it.

as for you on the other hand, another important test was fast approaching. One that was impending your entire future and he was aware of what it could mean.. “..what about you?” the simple question, loaded with complex emotions and feelings. Ones smeared all across his face because truthfully, he was as terrified as you were. “What about me? I’m fine..” You had confided in Eren about your condition..how it had worsened and what the doctors said. At first, it could’ve been attributed to poor mental health, as he and everyone else were privy to your past struggles. Aware of the scars plaguing your arms; now concealed by bandages and your flippant behavior that followed. You’d constantly tell your care team that something felt off and they never believed you. They all but dismissed you and told you it was all in your head. That was until you collapsed one day outside of the student center while walking to class and nearly hit your head. Luckily, someone was there to help and it was none other than this doofus. The one friend you had in this fickle world. Needless to say, he had been following your medical mystery as closely as you were..hoping for a better outcome. As it stood, you’d be all but bedridden in the next six months if things didn’t change. So tomorrow, you’d be undergoing a biopsy to determine what was causing it and have the results back in a few days. Was it cancer? Was it something else?..time would only tell but you were growing far more anxious by the minute; even if you used anger to mask it. “You’re as terrible of a liar as you are beautiful, (y/n). Look, it’s fine to be scared. Hell, I’m scared for you but don’t let this beat you, alright? They’ll figure out what’s wrong, kick its ass and have you out of here.” His words sounded hopeful, full of encouragement but you couldn’t be vexed to buy them right now. Your life was dangling in the balance. Hanging by a minute thread… “..and you’re as optimistic as you are stupid. Truth is, I’m dying..” the statements sending shockwaves throughout his body. The possibility of losing you chilled him to his core. “Don’t say shit like that—“ “it’s true, alright? I’ll never see the outside of this damn room ever again. I’ll never graduate college, go on a date, have my first kiss or even have sex for the first time..I’m gonna die here and there’s nothing I can do about it..” in that moment, tears began to trickle down your face and your voice cracked. Something about saying it all aloud made it all real. Twisting your head away, you’d try to conceal that crying but he knew better. It took everything in his own power not to become emotional.

suddenly, you’d feel a hand placed atop your own and your head twisted until your lips were locked with his. He knew it was wrong..knew that if for any reason, someone were to walk through those doors, he’d be kicked out with no exceptions. But the thought of seeing you upset made him act on instinct. That and the fact he’d waited for so long to do that..but you didn’t break it! Rather, you’d deepen the peck; pressing your plump lips further into his own and intertwining his pale fingers with your dark hued digits. It lasted for what felt like minutes but when you both pulled away… “I’m sorry…I just..” “..don’t be.”

it was exactly what you needed. Something to ease the pain that medicine couldn’t solve..for now, he’d keep holding you close and letting you sob into his shoulder blade. He knew it couldn’t have been easy but he’d do everything in his power to try and absolve your hurt, even if it meant letting you use him as a punching bag. His large arms cradled around you for the utmost comfort and you’d never felt better than in that moment. “I’m scared, Eren. I’m really fucking scared…I’m too young to be going through this. I want to live..” having to keep his own head tilted up to avoid letting tears fall; swallowing the hard lump in his throat as to not get choked up. He wished that he could trade places, make it all go away. Maybe if he were smarter, he could cure it for you..but sadly, the best he could do right now was this very thing. And it was enough for you..“I know..but it’ll be okay. It has to be.” Because truth be told, you couldn’t leave him just yet. He couldn’t let you depart from his life..

not until he was able to say.. ‘I love you.’

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ghuleh-witch · 5 months

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Make You Sing

Fandom: Ghost Rating: Explict Warnings: NSFW, 18+, unprotected sex, p in v sex, exhibitionism (kinda), confessional sex Relationships: Papa Emeritus IV/Copia x Female!Reader Characters: Papa Emeritus IV, Female!Reader, unnamed Sibling of Sin Additional Tags: no use of y/n, soft!dom Copia Words: 1121 Summary: Between your busy schedules, you and Copia make time to see each other, but that time is interrupted when a Sibling of Sin steps into the confessional.

Ao3

Your nails were digging into the wooden back of the chair as your head was pulled back, making your back arch. “Fuck,” you moaned loudly as Copia held a fistful of your hair. “Papa.”

“As much as I love those sweet noises, you need to keep it down, dolcezza,” Copia replied as he pounded into you. The hand that wasn’t pulling your hair was gripping your hip, pulling your hips back onto his cock. “Don’t want anyone to hear us, si?”

You and Copia hadn’t had a lot of time to spend together lately. Between his duties as Papa and preparing for a tour and your own work in the ministry, your time together was stretched thin forcing you to find little moments of free time throughout the day to spend together. Tonight Copia was holding confession, and as soon as the last person in line left, you came out of your hiding spot in the shadows and stepped into his side of the booth. It was late and Copia’s window for confession would be ending soon. No one else would be stopping in to confess their sins.

When his hand came around to touch your clit, you all but whimpered in need. “Let them hear,” you breathed, your mouth falling open in a silent moan as his fingers teased your clit. His hand let go of your hair and pulled you closer to him. “I–aaaaah—want them to know you’re ruining me.”

“Ragazza birichina,” he purred in your ear. He pressed a kiss to your neck as his thrusts slowed to a torturous speed.

“So close,” you panted softly as his lips peppered your neck with kisses and gentle nips. You teetered on the edge of your climax and were just about to shatter when the sound of heels could be heard approaching the confessional.

You both froze upon hearing the door to the other side of the booth open and close and someone sitting down in the chair on the other side of the wall. The mesh between the booths was thick enough that the sibling couldn’t see either of you and you couldn’t see the sibling.

“Bless me, Papa, for I have sinned. It has been fourteen days since my last confession,” came the voice of one of one of your fellow siblings. “I have lusted, I was greedy, and I was envious.”

One of Copia’s gloved hands came up to your mouth and covered it as he slowly pushed into you, careful to not make the chair you were balanced on creak. You felt his lips quirk upward into a smirk and knew he was turning this into a game.

“For these sins, I am not sorry,” the sibling finished.

Copia wasted no time stepping back into his role as Papa despite his cock buried deep inside of you. “Did you feel guilt while you were experiencing these sins?” Copia asked, keeping his voice level and neutral as he usually did in confession. A hand came and rested on your hip, keeping you still on his cock. He knew it would make you squirm.

“A little,” the sibling confessed. “When I was lusting after my married friend…I want her so badly, but she’s happily married. I can’t help it though. I’m so jealous that her partner gets to have her every day and night and I just want her all to myself. I know they’re both polyamorous, but I still feel wrong for trying to come between them. I just…I don’t know…I don’t want to feel guilt for having the feelings I do and I don’t know what to do about this whole situation.”

“All those feelings you have a valid,” Copia said as he thrust deep into you again. You wanted to whimper into his hand but fought to keep silent. “There is nothing wrong with feeling guilt either. You are human and being human is complex and confusing.”

There was a sigh from the other side of the dark mesh screen. “What should I do, Papa?”

“Have you talked to your friend? Communication is key, after all. It does not do to bottle up all these feelings.” Copia said, as the hand that wasn’t covering your mouth moved from your hip to your front and then between your legs. He dragged a single finger up your slit before stopping at your clit. You couldn’t help but tremble as you fought back any noise that was threatening to escape.

“I’m afraid that if I tell her I’ll ruin my friendship,” the sibling said. “Even though I have a feeling maybe she feels the same for me too…”

“Perhaps it would be best to bring up your feelings to your friend and talk it through with her. You will never know if she feels the same or not if it’s never discussed. Don’t live with the regret of never knowing,” Copia responded as his fingers teased your clit.

“You’re right,” the sibling said. “I should talk to her. The worst that can happen is that my feelings aren’t returned and she’s not interested, right?”

“Right. And if she is truly your friend, your friendship won’t be ruined. Sure things might be, eh, awkward for a bit but you two will work through it.” He thrust into you slowly again and this time, the feeling was too intense. A muffled moan sounded against the leather of his glove and Copia quickly started to fake cough to cover up the sound.

“Are you okay, Papa?” The sibling asked.

“Mi dispiace. I seem to be coming down with a cold,” Copia lied, his fingers putting pressure on your clit as though in punishment. “Speak to your friend and discuss how you feel. Life is too short to be left wanting and wondering.”

“Thank you, Papa,” the sibling replied, their chair scrapping on the floor as they stood.

“Go and sin freely,” Copia said, making the sign of the inverted cross to the mesh-covered window.

The door on the other side of the confessional opened and you could hear the sibling walking away. When all was silent again, Copia released his hand from your mouth and pressed his lips to the side of your neck.

“Couldn’t help yourself, could you?” He questioned, his teeth grazing your skin.

“Sorry,” you panted. “It just came out.”

He hummed in response before the slow, agonizing pace of his thrusts turned punishing. “You’re lucky confession is over and you can be as loud as you want now,” he growled into your ear. “And I’m going to make you sing, cara.”

And he did make you sing—your voice echoing off the rafters of the chapel as he brought you to orgasm.

Translations dolcezza-sweetness Ragazza birichina-naughty girl Mi dispiace-I'm sorry cara-dear/darling

#ghost #the band ghost #copia #papa emeritus iv #papa emeritus iv x reader #papa emeritus iv x female reader #fanfic #ghost fanfic #my fanfic #smut #copia x reader #copia x female reader

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wulvert · 4 months

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What kind of powers do vampires have in Paperteath? Or is that too spoilery? Also I just discovered Paperteath and I'm absolutly loving it. It's quickly become one of my favorite webtoons (up there with The Last Dimension and Nevermore). I've reread it at least 3 times so far.

hii!! thank you so much omg im rly glad you like paperteeth- ive been feeling a little insecure abt it lately ahah.

ive made a few posts about this but i cant find them without scrollimg back like 50 pages on my blog & i dont wanna do that 🤧 so ill make a new one and actually tag it this time

so for default powers they dont have that many other than regenerating, nothing can kill them aside from beheading, fire & a wooden stake to the heart, so everything else just heals, like if you chop their arm off or shoot them in the head itll be fine again fairly quickly. as long as its none of those three things (the sun sets them on fire so im counting it as fire but i guess also the sun) (but if u dunk them in water fast enough theyll be okay) theyll recover.

but the way these vampires work is that they kinda evolve/adapt over time to their surroundings! if a vampire is starving consistently over a long period of time theyll get features that make catching and eating people easier like claws more teeth etc- & these traits can be passed down to vampires turned by those vampires so some vampires are a little different than others. some of these things are now present in the majority of vampires like hibernating in winter. when ye olden vampires got too cold (they have no body heat they can only get warmth from other warm stuff. like. human blood. idk.) and froze over in winter one too many times theyll have just started hibernating- (but vampires in places with no cold season rnt affected by that ofc & now that a lot of vampires have heating the sleepiness in winter is just inconvenient. u try take a 10 min nap and wake up months later)

so cool stuff like turning into a bat is usually exclusive to really really old vampires . like. draculas. plural.

so yeah they mostly just have weaknesses which makes up for the very hard to kill thing. theyre scared of garlic. crucifixes & silver burns & they get stuck in a coffin if a rose is on their door. (vampires who were buried in the week between dying and coming back often want to sleep in a coffin but if they werent it doesnt apply)

I could go on for 50 years abt how they work so i will stop!!!

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little-miss-dilf-lover · 5 months

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OMG HI!

Ok so in one of your Pietro headcanons things you said Pietro was a morning person and let me tell you I am most certainly not so can I request Pietro x non morning person reader headcanons 💕💕 I can just imagine him running super fast around her in circles and her just looking at him like 🤨-😐-😞-😴

hiii!! neither am I!! im just a grumpy miserable bitch in the morning😭 that’s very cute! thanks for requesting, hope you like it💌

NOT A MORNING PERSON HC’S

pietro maximoff x female reader

— I def think he's the annoying kind of early bird, one that's like, "you woke up at 9? ive been awake since.." one of those that sorta shames you for sleeping 'late', but he's not mean about it!! just cocky and irritating (but in a kinda cute way (I put that lightly))

— talking of which, he wakes up at 6 am (or 5) naturally. 7 is him being naughty and lazy

— in the morning, he religiously goes for a run. doesn't matter the weather, he's out the door by 6:30

— after the run, he comes back, showers and gets some work done around the house/ flat. maybe does the dishes from last night's dinner like a good little boy (im kidding)

— maybe he makes himself some breakfast, def something VERY healthy with lots of (idek!!? im not a health nut, but like pulses, wholegrains????) maybe eggs, sourdough and a big bowl of porridge with berries and nuts on the side. he's a freak, so he has no butter on the toast and no chocolate in the porridge. he def has a mid-morning lunch too, just bc he's constantly burning so much

— by 9, he's done everything he needs to do for the day, so he'd go and check on you, seeing you sleeping soundly - probs wanting to wake you up

— he'd whisper your name loudly, maybe prodding you awake. you'd open one eye, giving him a death glare. you'd huff and roll over, sleepily telling him to get lost

— he'd try again, maybe stroking over your back (as you’re now facing away ) you'd grumble, covering your face with a pillow or your arm

— he'd whiz around the other side of the bed, trying to coax you out to start the day he planned. he'd see how tired you are, so he drops it, kissing your forehead and saying how he'll be back in 10 to wake you

— he'd return and see you flat-out asleep, giving you another 20

— when he returns the second time, you're awake, yawning and rubbing sleep from your eyes. he'd say good morning, and tell you look pretty. also calling you a sleepy head or something

— when you're finally up and about, he'd be kinda hyper (not like a kid) but VERY awake whereas you'd be the complete opposite. yawning, grumbling, rubbing eyes all that stuff

—also, he's always telling you that you should wake up earlier bc it's good for you (blah blah I don't wanna hear it) and you tell him the same - how he should wake up later bc it's better for his health. it causes some lighthearted conflict

— — — — — — — — — — ☆ — — — — — — — — — —

no taglist as don’t want to spam

#request #pietro maximoff #pietro maximoff headcanon #pietro maximoff x reader #pietro x reader #pietro maximoff fluff #pietro marvel

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pumpkinsy0 · 1 month

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Do u have headcanons about or what do you think about a 90s or 00s AU (maybe) where Curly Shepard is a punk and Ponyboy a goth or a babybat? ^_^ Like imagine purly but ponyboy tries to show his obsession for edgar allan poe and curly or the gang JUST DON'T GET IT 😭

wym anon that literally already IS purly🙄🙄

BUT YEA I DO HAVE HCS!!!! o(^-^)o

(for context who dont know, baby at is the name for like ppl who r newly goth basically, theyre just starting out listening to music n stuff like that)

•since curly is punk here and the whole idea of punks is essentially anti establishment and love individuality i will NOT make him make fun of pony for being goth, especially when hes a babybat hes just embracing himself

•also curly is curly i feel like hes a bit morbid himself and would be at the very least interested in edgar allen poe, so even if he wasnt punk he wouldnt make fun of pony for liking him, even if he does thats just bc hes being friendly and just does NOT like poetry

•ill place this in like, late 90s and early 2000s, so there is that huge thing against goths and punks for being ‘weird’ and against god or something along those lines

•curlys pretty used to being targeted for being different for his punk style and such while pony isnt exactly used to that so i imagine that hes more protective while ponys trying to figure himself out in that regard

•some bands pony would b interested in is evanescence, the cure, and siouxsie and the banshees, london after midnight, of course there IS more but these r like more so his favs

•how pony found out about gothic bands was like, a song was playing in darrys car radio and darry didnt rlly like it so he changed it but the song was already stuck in ponys head

•he brought it up to curly but pony was just like ‘idk maybe itll pass’, it in fact DID not pass and later they was just chillin in curlys car and the song came back on the radio and pony was like ‘neuron activated’

•curly was personally not rlly into the song, but hey, ponys happy so its whatever

•personally i imagine that pony doesnt have a gothic STYLE more so he has a love for gothic songs and literature, yknow what i mean??? but maybe he does borrow some clothes from curly thats more on the gothic side or thrifts some clothes

•other than edgar allen poe, he does like phantom of the opera, frankenstein, dracula, carmilla, dr jekyll and mr hyde, also he would like ruby gloom (thank my gf for this hc)

•his art style is kinda influenced by those media actually

•as for what type of goth he is i could mostly see him being like a geek goth, but he is interested in the looks of victorian goths and gothabilly goths

IVE BEEN TALKING ABOUT PONY FOR TOO LONG NOW ON ABOUT CURLY

•tbh, not much to add for this guy, punk curly is literally just regular curly but more understanding of who he is and what he wants in the world yknow??

•think of curly but actually a lil more, idk thought provoking in his own curly way with a better understanding of the world

•MAY I INSERT MY HC OF CURLY HAVIN AN AFRO MOHAWK HERE🗣️🗣️

•he is from a haitian household tho and haitian moms especially tend to be more, religious and all that jazz, so while tim and angela get their ears yelled off for well being them, its especially happening to curly bc in his moms eyes hes “turning away from god” n what not being a “vagabon” as many haitian moms would put it

•he likes customizing his own clothes, he thrifts and gets a bunch of hand me downs so might as well make them look cooler

•hes a graffiti artist and hes acc pretty well known, everyone knows its him but they dont rlly say anything cause 1) hes curly shepard but 2) his work rlly isnt that bad actually

•i could totally see him liking green day and he does NOT like fall out boy but he does like a coulle of songs from them (much to his dismay

•hes picking up guitar (how he afforded it??? i payed for it lets just say that)

WHEN IT COMES TO THE GANG, they dont rlly get pony being goth, they support him of course, but they do tend to make fun of him a bit</33 but darry, soda, and johnny do try to understand him more, its rlly just two

ps anon my gf said she loves u for ur idea (shes goth, u got the goth stamp of approval)

#curly shepard #ponyboy curtis #purly #tim shepard #angela shepard #darry curtis #darrel curtis #dallas winston #sodapop curtis #johnny cade #two bit mathews #steve randle

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cat3ch1sm · 5 months

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HI EVE

So umm I wanna start writing hxh stuff but I'm scared it'll be really ooc :(( I watched the whole anime, restarting it and I'm reading the Manga too so I know the personalities of the characters well but I'm still not confident I can portray it right... it would be super embarrassing if I post my first story/ headcanon and the comments i get are "they wouldnt say that" "they wouldnt do that" "that wouldnt happen" 😭the way you write characters sound so like them and I rlly wanna make hcs and stories like you so pls spill your secrets 🙏🙏 if it helps, the characters I think I'll be most writing for are the main 4, kalluto and alluka (they're so underrated!!) mb hisoka andddd silva & kikyo? (I kinda wanna make some cute scenarios w them like they go on a date or smthing 🥺 idk why) but ofc, I would love to learn how to write for the majority of the hxh characters. But ummm it's okay if u don't have any advice, I'll just cry infront of my blank Google docs page 😔😔 (I'm jk, have a good day!!)

🐢~ OMG HI IM SO SORRY THIS IS SO LATE I FEEL AWFUL :(( @xl3vviii i love uu thanks for your request and patience 💚💚 i will try my best to explain my process in a general way so it’s easy to write for any character you’d like! i really hope this helps you<333

🍀~ and i totally feel you on the not wanting mean comments thing😭😭 broo ive been fortunate enough to not really receive those kind of comments but i did once and WOW was i embarrassed and changed it immediately😭😭 and the crying in front of a blank google doc page?? you are so real for that 😭😭😭

🌲~ another note to my followers in general: i want to sincerely apologize for my absence. my devices i usually post on all decided to conveniently stop working so that really sucked but my phone is back again!! im really grateful for you all and your patience, and i want to thank you guys so much for 3.5k! i have no intentions of leaving and i hope i can write lots more for you guys. hopefully i don’t ever need to be gone that long again! i love u all so muchh and thank you a million times 💚💚

𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐢 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬!

a/n~ so sorry if this sucks cause ive never given a tutorial for my writing but i will DO MY BEST

so you said you wanted to write cute scenarios of dates for the hxh main four+ hisoka, silva , and kikyo! first thing i usually consider when i get requests especially, or just when i have an idea, is: would this character even do this? like if someone asks me, “hey, can you write headcanons for illumi zoldyck with a soft/sweet/kind s/o?” that would be possible (though maybe a little far-fetched canonically). it’s fine to stretch those boundaries a bit for fanfiction, i think. but if that request had instead been like “can you write reader x soft/sweet/kind illumi?” that would’ve been a hard no. don’t alter characters’ natural personalities because then it’s not the same character. what sometimes helps me is, especially if i haven’t watched or read any media of the character im writing for in a while, is looking up the character’s wiki on the FANDOM site and reading through their personality traits as well as their key moments because it helps me to determine what the character would do in the story and how they might react to some things. feel free to also go back and look at clips of the anime or pages of the manga; i find it helps as well!

so for what you want to write specifically, cute dating scenarios, i think that most of the characters you’ve chosen are a good fit. the main four are good for a prompt like that, and the zoldyck children you’ve chosen can be fitting as well. but as for hisoka, kikyo, and silva, that kind of prompt might not fit so well because obviously these characters can’t be seen as sweet or kind or loving. has hisoka ever expressed any interest in wooing someone properly or is he someone who operates on lust? did kikyo and silva court each other and go on little dates or was their marriage probably arranged/forced/only useful for selfish purposes? do their personalities even allow for sentiments like dates? would they even consider that? before writing something ask yourself if you can really see the character doing that clearly in your mind.

i think it’s a great thing that you’ve watched and read the respective canon content of your characters, and it’s good to refer to it if you ever find yourself struggling to characterize someone accurately. however, it is fanfiction, so don’t feel like you need to be super rigid. write whatever you’d like, honestly. but here’s a really common thing i notice when people write fanfiction: they take one aspect of the character and run the shit into the ground. a prime example of this is hobie brown from across the spiderverse and his “i don’t believe in consistency” line. like Jesus Christ. well-written fictional characters, like the ones of hxh, are often as versatile as real people are. make sure the character doesn’t feel like some one-dimensional version of themselves, and please don’t write for the character only based on one aspect of their personality. for example, hisoka is rather unpredictable, so that’s something you’d probably want to incorporate into writings for him. but for characters like most of the zoldycks, you’re going to want to tread a little lighter since they aren’t the main characters and thus we don’t see a whole lot of them. in situations like this, you might have to focus on just what you can see of them. so again, just ask yourself if you can see the character really doing what you’re writing them to do. would they act that way in an actual episode of the anime or volume of the manga? if you’re unsure or the answer is no, try going a different route.

it is also okay to make mistakes. practicing a lot will eventually get you to where you want to be. i still find myself slipping up in my writings and getting carried away (so read over your writings before you publish them)!! my dms are open if you ever would like me personally to review a piece and offer maybe more specific advice!

i hope this helped you, dear💚 again feel free to dm me if you have any more questions. thank you for your support 💚

#cat3ch1sm #anime #hxh headcanons #hxh memes #hunter x hunter #hisoka x reader #illumi x reader #killua x reader #gon freecss headcanons #illumi hxh #gon hxh #killua hxh #writing tips #writers on tumblr #x reader #hxh x reader

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esther-dot · 6 months

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Lately I've been toying with the idea that Jon will indeed become king of the FF. It's the only reasonable ending for him, the only one that matches both Jon's show ending and Sansa's book foreshadowing (to marry a king, not a prince, not a king who had been). I think the show ending on such ambiguous (and bitter!) terms for Jon was decided because of the sequel. In other words, I'm considering the possibility that M. will transfer his 5year gap at the end, and we'll see them again at the end after some time will have lapsed and they'll be older and firmly in their positions. But, with this ending I'm afraid we'll only get hints of Jon and Sansa's romance on page, and nothing too explicit (although I guess that it might have a role in Daeny's death).

I think that, throughout the book, the famous "the FF don't kneel" is only meant to be subverted: they will kneel to Jon, after everything he has done for them, and he will probably settle them in the Gift(s). In my opinion, this ending is truly poetic. If ASoIaF is a fairytale, then the hidden prince does not become king because of his inheritance (which he has already foresaken just as he will reject the Targaryen inheritance: so vividly given as "I don't want it!" in the show, lol), but has forged a kingdom for himself, because he is truly worth it. I am not sure that he will go to the Wall because he will be punished, but regardless, he will become king of the FF. If it will be like this, then Jon's ending is the apotheosis of subversions.

And only as an equal will he be able to marry Sansa: when Sansa becomes queen, everybody will want her for her claim twice over, unless her husband is already king. I think this ending is foreshadowed in her ASOS, Sansa IV chapter: two castles in the sky, one black, one grey, become one in all the colors of spring. Note that this is something Sansa sees in the morning sky, meaning after dawn.

And with this explanation I've made peace with the disastrously ambiguous ending of GoT.

I wish you'll make your peace too, Esther!

(old anon btw, anxiously waiting for your posts for years, and now this darn thing made take a name. So be it).

It's so nice to finally "meet" you @justleaves!

I like that reading of book foreshadowing and the mess GoT gave us. You know I can't agree with most of the fandom that we can entirely or even mostly dismiss the show's ending. Too much of it gave me that, "it was always meant to be this way" feeling and since the ending of the show, Jonsas have turned up a lot of foreshadowing for Arya sailing away, King Bran, Dark Dany, Jaime and Cersei dying together...so many things were kinda-sorta right, just presented so horribly they felt wrong!

I've always felt very weird about Jon becoming King of the FF, most of us Jonsas reject that out of hand because it really rubs us the wrong way, but I had a series of anons critical of Martin's handling of aspects of Dany's POV some time ago, particularly how he characterized the Dothraki, and I did go back to read/re-watch some interviews, and I've accepted he doesn't share our sensibilities there, or on a handful of other issues. I hadn't even realized I was projecting when I dismissed the possibility of a kid from a different culture becoming the leader of an indigenous group. To me that is inherently negative. But of course, at the time when Martin began all this, it wasn't generally perceived that way, and we have Mance so...

Right after GoT ended some of us speculated that not including the Gift was why they had Jon ride off past the Wall with the FF, while in the books, he might be responsible for the Gift, so I really like how you've blended the two. I've written before about how it would make sense to me that Jon rejects the Stark/Northern claim and then rejects the Targaryen/Southern claim, and is rewarded in he end for those decisions, and I think it would be a more satisfying resolution to the bastard struggle if he is chosen as a leader because of who he is rather than who his "father" is (whether we mean Ned's son -> KitN or Rhaegar's son -> Targ heir). The way Jon is of the North, has such connections to the Starks (whether as Ned's bastard or Lyanna's boy post parentage reveal) as well as his time with the FF, the understanding he has and care he has for them which others do not, well, it certainly sets him up as a great bridge between the cultures. A person uniquely capable of creating a lasting peace.

I also really like your idea of the time-lapse because a) Sansa's age b) allowing all these revelations time to settle. I can't rationalize how the cast of characters would accept Jon as the legitimized son of Ned, only to turn around and accept that actually he's Lyanna's son, and how they'd be ok with a Jonsa marriage immediately thereafter. And that's not even dealing with how he'll be perceived/the rumors that will be swirling around him post rez and whatever his actions are immediately after. Love it in fics, but when I think about it in Martin's words, hard for me to imagine, so the idea that in a few years after Jon has established himself they'd be able to marry, that makes sense to me.

I think this ending is foreshadowed in her ASOS, Sansa IV chapter: two castles in the sky, one black, one grey, become one in all the colors of spring. Note that this is something Sansa sees in the morning sky, meaning after dawn.

That is a beautiful reading of the scene! I can easily see that being the idea! The other reading I've seen on this is that it's the Jon and Sansa competing claims being joined as the solution to the Northern succession crisis (that may be @agentrouka-blog's spec? I'm not successfully turning anything up atm). I had actually written into the margins in my copy "sounds like Winterfell" by the line about a castle in ruins, and later in ASOS, we have back to back Jon and Sansa chapters that talk about Winterfell and have a weird number of similarities (link). But, specifically, the ruins/rebuilding idea seems like it points to Jon and Sansa's stories converging and allowing them to restore Winterfell together:

The warmth took some of the ache from his muscles and made him think of Winterfell's muddy pools, steaming and bubbling in the godswood. Winterfell, he thought. Theon left it burned and broken, but I could restore it. Surely his father would have wanted that, and Robb as well. They would never have wanted the castle left in ruins. (Jon XII, ASOS) The snow fell and the castle rose. Two walls ankle-high, the inner taller than the outer. Towers and turrets, keeps and stairs, a round kitchen, a square armory, the stables along the inside of the west wall. It was only a castle when she began, but before very long Sansa knew it was Winterfell. She found twigs and fallen branches beneath the snow and broke off the ends to make the trees for the godswood. For the gravestones in the lichyard she used bits of bark. Soon her gloves and her boots were crusty white, her hands were tingling, and her feet were soaked and cold, but she did not care. The castle was all that mattered. Some things were hard to remember, but most came back to her easily, as if she had been there only yesterday. The Library Tower, with the steep stonework stair twisting about its exterior. The gatehouse, two huge bulwarks, the arched gate between them, crenellations all along the top . . . (Sansa VII, ASOS)

So as always, I see the pros, I see the cons, I can't make up my mind, but I'm ok with that. I have no problem talking about GoT/my frustrations when I get an ask, but after I wrote my post canon fic Free, I just...wasn't angry anymore. D&D's choices will always baffle me, I'm disappointed we don't have TWOW yet, but I enjoy the different spec, fics, gifs, and art we have in the Jonsa fandom, so as long as we're all having fun, I'm happy.

I'd love to read any other observations you have about ASOIAF and fairytales, I think posts about parallels with other lit are fascinating!

#jonsa #jon's ending #dot chat #< for filtering

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moongurl95 · 7 months

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Personal October 🎃Challenge 💙

saw this on Twitter but feel more comfortable posting on Tumblr 🫣 so please don't mind me reintroducing my baby B and maybe using this as an appreciation post as well 🤭

let it be known that i actually share the same first name with my baby Beatrice and i kinda just chose her last name, Hayes, from my writing pseudonym willy-nilly just cuz i was hella excited to start playing Hogwarts Legacy at the time of its release back in Feb. 🎮

Lo and behold, the further i played the game (took me a month to finish my first playthrough of her every night after my 8hour job), a backstory for Beatrice started coming up in my mind. 🤔

Suddenly, Beatrice Hayes wasn't my in-game avatar anymore but more like a younger sibling id protecc at all cost (yes, i am one of those players who played dress up with their MCs and even leave her back in the safety of her dormroom after each play session) 🙃

ive grown unexpectedly attached to her enough to start an actual fanfic (never done that with any fandoms ive been before), with our bois from Slytherin being the final nail and hammer on the coffin of my hyperfixation 😵

Also haven't started a Gryffindor playthrough after all these months (i'll get around to that eventually 😅) but here are my other baby MCs/OCs with my quick HCs of them:

on my 2nd playthrough, meet MC Cerestina Anguis 🐍 only daughter and youngest to her two, accomplished older brothers, Cersei was considered a 'defect' among her privileged Pureblood family before she came late into her Magic at 15. Motherless and with only a father seeing her as a mere pawn for marriage, Cersei does have moments of vanity, but chooses to rise above it in order to make a name for herself and find independence using her newfound Magic. Unbeknownst to her, Cersei was also promised to Ominis at a young age due to their "shortcomings" while still being of the Pureblood lineage, the young Gaunt himself is none the wiser. They meet at Hogwarts, angst ensues. But that is a story for another time 🤣

my 3rd MC, Phoebe Fidelis 🦡, is as loyal as any Hufflepuff can come as long as you can stand her chaotic crup energy on most days. Raised in a loving family of Halfbloods consisting of her parents and brothers, Phoebe was mostly content being the "Magicless middle child" until she turned 15. So other than learning to control the lycanthropy that runs in her father's bloodside, she also has to learn to wield this "Ancient Magic"?? So much for catching a break. 🥹

wanted a baby boi for my House so here's my Ravenclaw OC, Anthony Reinhart, a transferee from Beauxbatons, not much is known of him or his ulterior for coming to Hogwarts, though he may end up being a connection to Beatrice's past... 🤫

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carpetbug · 7 months

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what are ur fave songs for each character and WHY. ANALYSIS

omg thank u we’re in love now 😽

I have not updated these playlists in a while so a lot of them are songs i listened to in like 2020 lmao, heres a few from each :)

Marinette

Into the unknown (frozen 2) - original and cristina vees cover make me think so hard about marinette its crazy. her initially refusing to be ladybug, insistent that she couldnt do it but always coming back because she desperately wants to test those waters, see what shes meant to do and how it could change her.

Ladybug

Ribs (lorde) - how easily overwhelmed marinette gets and how her anxiety and stress almost force her to overthink every aspect of her life. I can see her getting this extreme tunnel vision where she cant see all the progress shes made, all the victories shes already had, and instead can only focus on how shes not doing enough, and its not fast enough, and its not good enough. it just really reminds me of how badly she wants to prove herself to be this strong and trustworthy hero, but she feels like shes losing herself as she grows and isolates herself more and more in the role of guardian and ladybug.

Adrien

Mamas boy (dominic fike) - he literally IS the mamas boy. what more can i say. also alludes to him being a sentimonster with the lines "when i was born, you were produced", "i wish i was a toy", "youre made from plastic im just blood".

Chat Noir

First love/late spring (mitski) - ok hear me out. how chat compensates for his family life with devoting himself to ladybug. "one word from you and i would jump off of this ledge im on" is exactly how he operates with her, being ready to throw himself in front of her, literally die for her if she ever said so. and she never does! she gets upset with him for doing it over and over! i just think this song depicts really well how chat noirs goal was always "do whatever I can to help ladybug, no matter what i may lose" while she had to watch him leave his life in her hands like it was nothing.

also including ships because obviously i have playlists for all lovesquare sides + other ships i’m silly about

Ladynoir

Show Yourself (frozen 2) - both the original and cristina vees cover (WHICH IS SO GOOD GO LISTEN TO IT RN) remind me so hardcore of ladynoir. the whole idea of ladybug finally coming to terms with showing chat who she truly is and being ready for the same from him, idk i can imagine an entire movie in my head of ladynoir reveal to this song. [fav lyrics: "I can sense you there, like a friend ive always known", "I have always been a fortress cold secrets deep inside. you have secrets too, but you dont have to hide", "you are the answer ive waited for all of my life"]

Blame (air traffic controller) - this is probably one of my all time favorite songs like fucking ever and tbh i can see it with all lovesquare sides but i feel like ladynoir is the best fit! Chat picking ladybug up when she falls down and constantly being there to remind her she was to get up and fight, theres no time to sit and pity and blame herself, and he wont let her. him being her voice of reason as she copes with losing almost everything to monarch, him grounding her and being one of her biggest motivations to go on! with how severely marinette overthinks and doubts herself, he just becomes a mantra of 'dont blame yourself' which she desperately needs [fav lyrics: "Dont blame yourself cause you tried as hard as hell with the hand that you were dealt", "get on your feet, enough 'poor me', if you got time to bitch and whine then theres still time to try again", "And the vultures they are circling overhead, theyre reminding me of choices from my past"]

Peach Scone (hobo johnson) - makes me think of early seasons ladynoir ;-; chat just being head over heels for ladybug, struggling with keeping his love platonic when he wants to be with her and know her. Also getting to kinda hear his side of ladybug saying shes already in love with someone, how he respects that but still is a bit of a flirt, and hides how much it hurts him. also i love hobo johnson. [fav lyrics: "She kinda loves him back, but not really, theyre just really good friends and thats fine, he understands, its rational", "Oh, you got a man? are you in love? so, what type?", "So i fall to the ground, collect myself and get ready to take over your heart or atleast your spare time"]

Talk to me (cavetown) - i am such a sucker for ladynoir comfort. the idea of them being there for each other at their lowest points, holding each other together. This whole song just makes me think so strongly of chat comforting ladybug when shes breaking down and needs someone. [fav lyric: "ill be here until youre okay, lets your words release your pain, you and i will share the weight"]

Could have been me (The struts) - GOD. THIS SONG. ITS SO LADYNOIR CODED TO ME. them hyping each other up!! keeping each other going!! being each others motivation to keep getting back up and fight!! i just love the idea of them constantly being there to pick each other up and remind them of what theyre fighting for. i could listen to this song forever i love it. I can also really hear "I cant hear you, I wont fear you" being a supportive call and response thing with them <3[fav lyrics: "I wanna taste love and pain, wanna feel pride and shame", "Don't wanna live as an unsung melody, i'd rather listen to the silence telling me i can't hear you, i won't fear you"]

Understood (leith ross) - i am a huuuuuge fan of leith ross so obv i love this song for ml. it just makes me think so much of a worn down, tired, sad chat just gushing and crying to ladybug about how he doesnt understand love, how his family dynamic impacts him, and just letting himself fall apart in her arms. and her relating! her feeling that same tiredness and guilt and ache about love and family and friends, how much invisible pressure is hanging over both their heads and only they understand it. [fav lyrics: "ill visit my family in living rooms that dont get cold cause blankets and body heat cant be compared when it only took you a week to grow old", "Im sick of attachments I recently learned I cant relax and im scared of myself, scared for my health, tell me youll take me back home", "im sick of the feeling that nothing will ever stand still"]

Struck by lightning (sara kays, cavetown) - this song just really makes me think about ladybugs devotion to chat. i just imagine chat being out in the middle of a storm at night and marinette seeing him from her window and joining him as lb to comfort him. her knowing hes not going to go inside, so she just sits and stays with him, insisting if hes going to get soaked and cold and possibly hit by lightning, shes going to do it with him. [fav lyrics: "If you don't respond, I'll put my shoes on and lay down on the pavement next to you if we get struck at least we'll make the news", "What a way to go out something this town will forever talk about the two kids who were laying down and struck by lightning in front of your house"]

She wants me (to be loved) (The happy fits) - literally early seasons ladynoir. she wants me! (to be loved). i think it just perfectly fits how in love with lb chat is and how its clear she cant give that to him. [fav lyrics: "so, you say you love me, but not the way I need, things are so close to what i want to be", "I cant stop feelin, i want her love but all my dreaming is not enough. so in the morning the sun will rise and ill wake up and she wont be mine", "why cant you love me here tonight?"]

Adrinette

I do adore (mindy gledhill) - marinette being head over heels for adrien and being her normal clumsy self. Falling over, rambling, making a huge fool of herself while adrien watches, completely oblivious to her crush. this song just really reminds me of how much marinette struggles with keeping herself calm around adrien, how shes always messing up words and doing the wrong thing, but he never freaks out at her and he never shames her for it. [fav lyrics: "when youre near i hide my blushing face and trip on my shoelaces", "Ive noticed youre remarkably relaxed and im overly uptight, we balance out each other nicely" "Tongue-tied, twisted, foot in mouth, i start to stutter ha-ha-heaven help me"]

Just a friend to you (meghan trainor) - early seasons adrinette <3 adrien being so painfully oblivious while marinette is struggling with balancing being his friend and her overwhelming feelings for him. [fav lyric: "so it breaks my heart when you say im just a friend to you cause friends dont do the things we do"]

Silly girl (chloe moriondo) - listen to this song rn! its so perfectly adrinette! its crazy! how marinette romanticizes adrien and kind of puts him on a pedestal at the beginning which leads to her ignoring how he doesnt fit into that idea shes molded of him. Her having to deal with the pain of being in silent love with him while he seems so far away, and turning that back around to use against herself. i just think it explain really well how marinette saw him in this perfect, unattainable bubble before they got closer and she realized he was nothing like his public image of perfection [fav lyrics: "im just a silly girl in a stupid dumb old world and he is perfect cause hes supposed to be", "he is perfect, unlike me, and how could i ever think that it was meant to be? and how could i ever think that anything was made for me?", "I made him perfect, cause i wanted him to be"]

Small (chloe moriondo) - this was originally intended to relate more towards marinette, but listening to it now with season 5 in my head it just screams adrien! how suddenly he falls for her and he cant get her out of his head! how in just a blink of an eye he is getting flushed when talking to her, hes wanting to be near her and talk to her, he wants to be with her! but shes pulling back from him and hes sort of unable to balance these new feelings AND respecting her boundaries because shes just the only thing he thinks about. i love simp boyfriend adrien. she fell first but he fell harder and no one can convince me otherwise [fav lyrics: "but im not used to dealing with feeling like im waisting your time", "ive never cared so much about avoiding overstepping, and when i think about you i forget about my hands" "endlessly try to make you smile cause whenever i see it my knees always get so weak"]

The one that got away (acoustic version - katy perry) - I am a mess over this song. i always imagine it as a post-reveal scenario in which something happened and ladybug lost chat in the fight against hawkmoth and found out he was adrien right as he died saving her. how badly she misses him and cant stop thinking about how he was the love of her life! having to go on living the rest of her life without him! shes unable to move past it and just spends her time thinking of all the things shed do if she still had him. in another life, they could still be happy together [fav lyrics: "we'd keep all our promises, be us against the world", "talk about our future like we had a clue, never planned that one day id be losing you"]

"Do you wanna be friends?" (leanna firestone) - Marinette breaking her own heart by having such a close friendship with adrien while being in love with him and knowing she cant do anything about it. Her desperately trying to convince herself she can be okay with a life with him as a friend and nothing more when obv she cant bc ouchie! her heart! [fav lyrics: "Do you wanna be friends? i mean, i wanna be more, but if friends is how i get to have you then sure", "The world wont end if you dont love me even if it feels that way"]

Marichat

If i could tell her (dear evan hansen) - i feel like this is a classic marichat song. like its been a marichat song for a hot minute but its still so them. chat comforting marinette about feeling like adrien doesnt notice her! and listing off things adrien 'told him about' and slowly realizing he does actually pay attention to all those small intimate things marinette does! he feels such a strong need to make sure marinette understands how important she is to adrien, and realizing how deep the disconnect between them two is [fav lyrics: "If i could tell her how shes everything to me but we're a million worlds apart and i dont know how i would even start", "And what do you do when the distance is too wide?"]

Drive (halsey) - i love this song for the idea of marinette and chat suppressing their feeling for each other because theyre 'supposed' to be in love with adrien and lb. for me it kind of paints a mental image of hangouts and games and memories between mari and chat that slowly become these intense, almost upsetting silences and tension. Just them desperately ignoring how deep their feelings for each other truly go and insisting everything remain surface level [ fav lyrics: "All we do is think about the feelings that we hide, all we do is sit in silence waiting for a sign", "Your laugh echoes down the hallway, carves into my empty chest, spreads over the emptiness. its bliss", "Overanalyze again, would it really kill you if we kissed?",]

Comfort crowd (conan gray) - this song just really makes me think of chat being at a really low point and trying to hide it from marinette so he doesnt burden her with his emotions and baggage, and her just seeing right through it. Like hes smiling and trying to wave it off and she just knows hes not okay, and he just breaks. Ultimately it makes me think of chat turning to marinette for such deep and intimate comfort that purely comes from him being with her. just knowing hes safe to hold onto her and cry and shell be that company for him. [fav lyrics: "this hurt that im holding's getting heavy, but imma keep a smile on my shoulders til im sweaty", "my breaths getting short and im unsteady, welling up in tears as i lay upon your belly", "Telling you im fine I dont really need nobody, but you say through a sigh that i said that lie already", "and even if i cry all over your body, you dont really mind say you like your shirt soggy"]

Lost in you (khai dreams) - i love the mental image of just such relaxed, fluffy, soft, marichat dynamic in this! chat slowly realizing hes in love with marinette and getting lost in every aspect of her. maybe not being able to entirely admit its love, but still being able to admit he has such a deep and sincere admiration for marinette that he feels is returned in a way he doesnt feel from ladybug [fav lyrics: "Im just looking for some mutual love but all i get is unrequited", "Cause i dont even know I dont know why, all your love im trynna find im so lost in you, in all that you do"]

Something there (beauty and the beast) - i enjoy a good disney song every now and then! its just so marinette and chat slowly falling for each other and being like "nuh uh... wait.. wait a minute.." and then falling headfirst in love with each other, and unable to communicate it. But both of them feeling this sudden new and strange spark between them, things slowly changing, becoming more and more personal and slowly beginning to accept that things have changed [fav lyrics: "And now hes dear, and so unsure, I wonder why I didnt see it there before", "and when we touched she didnt studder at my paw, no it cant be, ill just ignore, but then shes never looked at me that way before", "True that hes no prince charming but theres something in him that i simply didnt see"]

I'd have to think about it (leith ross) - another leith song bc THEYRE SO GOOD GO LISTEN TO ALL THEIR MUSIC RN anyways some angst a lil :) a future where marinette/lb and adrien/chat somehow got torn apart after the reveal and lost contact for. a hot minute. and when they've found each other again its chat finally finding marinette, in a new home, with a new family, and a new life. but they both know who each other are and marinette having to cope with knowing she would drop everything to be with him again. anyways. brain food. [fav lyrics: "but if you come to me, in my home with my three kids, if you asked me to leave, to be with you and split, well id atleast have to think about it", "and if you come to me when ive promised to commit, if you told me that you loved me and asked me for a kiss, well id atleast have to think about it", "you are my achilles heel, the weakness only I can feel"]

Come around (peter mcpoland) - THIS SONG MAKES ME SO GIDDY FOR SOME REASON!! makes me think of like chat picking marinette up from her balcony and taking her on rides, showing her (what he thinks shes never seen) a brand new side of paris and getting to bask in the warmth and light she radiates with him. 'shes looking at the pretty lights, i cant stop looking at her eyes' type shit. just him being so so down bad for her. [fav lyrics: "Ive noticed you pull the blinds back when you hear that im driving round", "i dont mean to cause any trouble, well maybe a little if thats allowed"]

Animal (neon trees) - this song also makes me so !! the vibes are so playful and fun and flirty while the lyrics are more intense. just really reminds me of how surface level marinette and chat keep things, flirting and teasing and just enjoying each other, and then as soon as things get more serious it comes down to a life/death type feeling. but still longing for each other! they know it just hurts and they cant but they want to! they both love and hate the way their relationship feels suspended in the air, in that it gives it a rush of uncertainty and playfulness but it also brings serious fears and pain. i love this song a lot for them [fav lyrics: "I do it everytime, your killing me now and i wont be denied by you, the animal inside of you", "hush hush the world is quiet, hush hush we both cant fight it, its us that made this mess, why cant you understand?"

Ladrien

Dixie boy (april smith and the great picture show) - i have to admit i dont think a whole lot about ladrien but! i am a sucker for jealous/posessive ladybug like claiming adrien for herself and adrien jsut being like. yep. okay. i agree. cause her ass is petty enough to like makeout with him in front of chloe just to really rub it in and adrien is like yippe!! my super hero bug gf loves me! while ladybug is so >:) do not ever touch my man [fav lyrics: "Cause like a soldier defends his land well i stand up, i get up, i defend my man", "Well i know the way that you girls operate so keep your hands to yourself and your eyes on your own plate. Its not nice to stare, dont make me come over there", "Im a lover, not a fighter, and i dont want to have to get rough. just warning you ahead of time I can be a bitch when it comes to my stuff"]

Bad ideas (tessa violet) - both adrien and ladybug just being such lovesick nerds for each other <3 ladybug trying to fight the urge to kiss him when theyre together, and adrien doing anything he can to keep her near him. they both know its a bad idea, to just stop trying to keep it all contained, but its so tempting to just say fuck it and indulge the bad ideas. atleast for a little [fav lyrics: "But i just wanna see the grooves between your hands, your teeth, oh, tell me do you think about me?", "So why'd i wanna kiss you even though i miss you, guess i just wanted to know what it would feel like"]

Her (eery) - how much adrien thinks about ladybug. just all the different ways he dissects her personality, their memories, every little bit of information he knows about her. i just feel like this song, while simple, just really encapsulates how constantly ladybug is on his mind. i miss that dynamic damn

YOUTH (troye sivan) - ladybug and adrien running away together. fuck it. literally think about it. them just being in love and together and adrien finally getting out of that HOUSE and getting to be with his LADY and be happy. How deeply devoted to each other they would be, and although naive, they would be so sincere and literally ride or die for each other.

Roman holiday (halsey) - i love the idea of ladrien having those small, important firsts together. putting aside not being able to be completely honest with each other, adriens entire family dynamic, everything, and just saying screw it and dating and doing couple things! theyre both too scared of what might happen if they slow down and face reality, so they ignore everything outside of themselves. they both have that ache of knowing its not real, its not how they can actually live, but for now they get to be happy. and in love. and with each other. and theyll deal with all the heartbreak later [fav lyrics: "didnt know where we were running to but dont look back", "and we know that were headstrong, and our hearts gone, and the timings never right"]

and my other playlists

Chat Blanc

ANTI-HERO (SEKAI NO OWARI) - i will do my best to put my emotions towards chat blanc into comprehensible words but i make no promises. i love him so much. anti-hero gives like him turning his back on being a hero just for marinette, being okay with being viewed as evil hated because hes doing it for her! his distaste for the rest of the world in comparison to mari/lb ! how he lost his moral compass and doesnt understand the ways hes hurting her and himself by turning his back on being chat noir! god its so good [fav lyrics: "im gonna be the anti-hero, feared and hated by everybody, im gonna be the anti-hero so i can save you when the time comes", "cause there are people that ive got to protect and if you get in my way youre dead"]

I am damaged (heathers) - you caught me im a theater nerd but literally this song is so good for chat blanc! him coming to the realization the only way to save mari/lb is to destroy himself. him saying goodbye and making sure she understand that she was his everything! and he trusts her to fix the mistakes he made because shes his lady! and her not being able to talk him out of it and just having to say goodbye [fav lyric: "wish youd kiss me then youd know i worship you, ill trade my life for yours and once i disappear clean up the mess down here"]

Blah blah blah (the oozes) - reminds me of the trauma marinette gets from chat blanc, how she suffers nightmares and just cant stop being reminded of the horrible fate her partner suffered through. how marinette just cant go back to 'normal' after fighting him but also cant confide in anyone about it [fav lyrics: "you couldn't care less for the people youre hurting, there no excuse", "youve ruined the color blue for me, im surrounded by a deep dark sea"]

Anytime you smile (JT music, Andrea storm kaden) - kind of how i imagine chat blanc kept himself going while being isolated for all those months. coping by pretending ladybug was still with him and nothing was wrong, but slowly feeling uneasy and letting reality creep in. it shows how desperately he fights against his loneliness and pain with day dreaming, but still loses his mind. [fav lyrics: "anytime you smile baby you know you drive me wild, crazy! thats why you got me screamin, i think i might be dreamin", "believe me if im sleeping, i wanna keep on dreaming", "Someday soon this honey moon might be gone though, i hate goodbyes. I might not love you still, youll find no tougher pill to swallow (open your eyes)", "I stepped into a nightmare when i woke up from utopia starting to remember my depression and my phobias, why is everybody looking at me like i lost it?", "How can i be happy here? guess ill just pretend to be!" "no more sadness in this beautiful world, in love with happiness shes a beautiful girl!")

Mr bright side (the killers) - IM SORRY?? "it started out with a kiss how it did end up like this?" AND YOU DIDNT THINK THIS WOULD BE ON MY CHAT BLANC PLAYLIST?? thats really it for some reason this song is just so chat blanc to me. i love it.

Bad bad things (ajj) - im also a big fan of just bonkers insane scary chat blanc, him losing his humanity and only being able to see it reflected in mari/lb and not being able to stand it. him not being able to control his more violent ideas and losing himself in hurting others [fav lyrics: "So i looked into your eyes and i saw the reflection of a coward that you and i both hate very much", "If i dont go to hell when I die i might go to heaven but probably not"]

Akumanette

Dumb dumb (mazie) - i love the idea of an akumanette that just LOSES it on her friends after lila does some real stupid shit. none of her friends standing with her or supporting her and marinette getting so so upset and frustrated that they would be dumb enough to fall for it! which, being akumatized, of course wont come out the wrong way and is warped into this monstrous idea that marinette sees them as these morons who have disappointed her time and time again [fav lyric: "disappointment takes us by surprise even though by now i think we should have realized everyone is dumb"]

Class fight (melanie martinez) - god I LOVE AKUMANETTES THAT LOSE THEIR SHIT. lila putting distance and uncomfort between her and adrien (pre relationship) before marinette catches them kissing and get akumatized, and then marinette wrecks her shit :) her inner voice of reason feeling so horrified with the brutality and trying to get herself to realize but being able to deny monarchs voice encouraging her to act on her worst instincts [fav lyrics: "she had a boy wrapped around her finger tight, i fell in love with him but he wasnt in my life", "Her face was fucked up and my hands were bloody, we were in the playground things were getting muddy", "my one true love called me a monster"]

Bust your kneecaps - johnny dont leave me (pomplamoose) - i think this one really works well with an akumatized ladybug! her being so soft and scary to chat, chat blanc style, while promising to do horrible things to him. akumabug trying to convince him to 'just stop fighting' and 'hand over his miraculous' and then 'everything will be just the way it should be' and finally giving up and working instead to defeat chat rather than convince him

Therefore i am (billie eilish) - cold, angry akumanette FOR THE WIN OGH her just being such a silent but deadly akuma, her voice devoid of all the love and kindness it used to have when she was with adrien/chat, and him having to fight her while she shows no mercy. I just love the idea of chat doing anything he can, crying and begging marinette to fight it and come back to him and she has no pity for him [fav lyrics: "Get my pretty name out of your mouth, we are not the same with or without", "Did you have fun? i really couldnt care less and you can give them my best but just know im not your friend"]

Pretty privilege (blegh) - marinette being shown time and time again that the worst people will get away with horrible things, while she has to suffer beneath them and getting fed up. her letting all her feelings rise to the surface about how ugly she thinks people can truly be [fav lyrics: "Its crawling from underneath the surface nobodys first choice kind of ugly", "just because somethings pretty the laws dont apply to them have you noticed this shit its so ugly"]

Other friends (cristina vee cover) - i live for crazy akumanette losing her mind on everyone! what can i say! i love the idea of her confronting her friends and lilas lies in such a angry but playful way before losing her shit! and the added bonus of it being MARINETTES voice?? im screaming [fav lyrics: "What did she say about me, what did she say?", "Im the loser of the game you didnt know you were playing", "life on the line, winner takes all, ready or not lets begin!"]

Marigami/Kagaminette

She (dodie) - kagami fighting against her feelings for marinette because of their friendship, because of adrien, because of her mother, and because shes scared to admit she loves marinette far beyond how friends should. I love her just gently pushing that line, asking herself that question of "what is so wrong about it?" and working to accept that the pain and heartache are real because her feelings are [fav lyrics: "Could it be wrong when shes just so nice to look at ?", "id never tell, no id never say a word and oh it aches, but it feels ugly good to hurt"]

Sophie (black polish) - marinettes feelings for kagami! wanting to freeze her time with her, relive every moment they've been through and just experience the world by kagamis side. just how desperately they both need each others time and space, how comforting it is to just be with her. [fav lyrics: "youre impossible to read and thats fine, i dont even understand my own mind", "I just wanna escape the world sophie with you, with you, with you, with you"]

and an added bonus: i LOVE the song Bruno is Orange for kagami. reminds me of her so much.

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