#jaune arc crack

[madmanwonder]

How Jaune think he looks:

How he actually looks:

#rwby #rwby shitpost #jaune arc crack #jaune arc #jaune arc appreciation #rwby crack

[heliosthegriffin]

Some Crack

AN: I haven’t wrote any crack in a while.

“Well fuuuuuck, you too!” Jaune yells into his scroll, as he storms around the room knocking down anything on the shelves.

Nora and Pyrrha hide under the bed holding each other, while Ren is on-top of the bed in a pillow fort.

“Pssst~, Pyrrha!” Nora yells into Pyrrha’s elbow.

“Yes?” Pyrrha asks, with her head on top of Nora, petting the smaller red-head.

“What’s Jaune mad about?”

Crash!

A book shelf topples over, spilling out Nora’s collection of syrups.

“You harpy-ious whore!” Jaune kicks the bookshelf out of his way. The words, dick and fox and cream cheese come out of the phone, but and not necessary in that order, Jaune screams back into the scroll. “I will rip out your trachea and rub sandpaper through it, bitch!”

Pyrrha shivers. “I don’t know, but I find it kinda hot!”

Nora’s head looks down at her now wet legs. “I kinda noticed.” She taps the top of the bed. “Ren?”

“Who disturbs the Wizard of the Cloud-Pillow Fortress?” Ren answers, as a piece of the bed slides back, showing Ren’s eyes.

“Nora. Me. I disturb you.”

A boot goes flying through the wall.

Followed by a wall flying through the wall.

Replacing the back wall with the front wall, leaving a open entrance into the hallway, where everybody could see what was going on. If they were going through the hallway, which Dr. Oobleck was, who merely looked on in horror before running away.

“And we both knew that I was faking it!” Jaune bellowed into his scroll, with the sounds of sobbing coming out of it. “Say it again! I double dragon dare you to say that about by cinnamon apple muffins! ... How dare you!” Jaune eyes start to water.

“Ren, who’s Jaune talking too?”

“I dunno.”

Blake peeps through the opening too.

Much to Ren’s surprise.

“How long have you been in here? Wait how did you get in here?”

Blake looks at Ren with maximum dilated pupils. “If I fitz, I sitz.”

“If we fitz we sitz!” Chimes in several other cat Faunus, including Sienna, Neon, and Kali, who almost now were inside the pillow fort.

“Ahh!” Ren yelps and hides under the bed with Nora and Pyrrha. “Why is it so wet down here?”

Jaune kicks open team RWBY’s door, storming in and knocking over the bunk beds and anything on the walls. “Why are you like this! We could have shined like diamond and twinkies together! But, NNOOOOOOO! You had to be a smelly pirate mobster!

Blake slaps a sign on the pillow fort reading, ‘Kitty Faunus only!’ Sun, Adam, and Ghira look disappointedly at before wandering off to go get drunk together.

Ren begins mobbing under the bed, with Pyrrha and Nora hiding on Jaune’s bed now, surprised to find the remaining members of team RWBY hiding there already, with Cinder’s team hiding underneath.

Nora looks disappointingly. “Dang it.”

Ruby looks smugly at them, holding a Jaune dakimakura. “You snooze you loose. Anyway, why’s Jaune so mad?”

Jaune had wandered into the courtyard, and flipped a station wagon that was parked next to the fountain.

Peter Port looks at his wrecked car, a single tear rolling down his cheek.

Weiss blushes. “It’s kinda hot, though.”

Pyrrha opens her mouth to agree, but Nora covers it with her hand. “We know, anyway, no idea.”

Jaune walks up the side of Ozpins tower, the Wizard standing protectively in-front of his coffee maker.

“I want my son back, Jennifer! I will win the custody battle, you mad-woman!”

A look of understanding hits the assembled hunters and villains.

“Wait, he has a son!?” Ruby says with shock.

“He was married!?“ Pyrrha asks.

“So, that means he’s single, right?” Cinder realizes smugly.

Everyone looks at her, disappointingly.

“What, not like the rest of you weren’t thinking it!”

Then they all look away whistling, innocently.

“And, I’ve finally cleaned up that stain.” Ren nods to himself.

Jaune walks back in. “Guys, can I ask you one of you act as witness of my moral character in court?”

They look around the batter, broken, and beaten room, like a hurricane had gone through it.

Sun, Adam, and Ghira reappear. “We will do it!”

And so the four of them left, as brothers!

#RWBY Crack. #Jaune Arc Crack #I refuse to tag any more.

[goldenamaranthe-blog]

All I Want for Christmas Is....

Yang: (clinging to the door frame for dear life as an unknown entity pulls her away)

Sun: (nails screeching across the floor as he's pulled by the tail by the same entity, finally catching the doorframe)

Jaune: (crying and screaming like a little girl as he's being dragged through the building like a ragdoll by the same entity as Sun and Yang)

Yang & Sun: (grab Jaune just as he's about to fly passed the doorway)

Jaune: (holding on for dear life) Thanks, guys!

Yang & Sun: Don't mention it!

Ruby: (from the couch and watching the scene unfold) What's going on?

Neptune: I have no idea, but it's funny. (munches popcorn)

Blake: Should... should we do something?

Weiss: We don't even know what has them.

Emerald: (Walks in) Oh, Santa must be gathering all the materials he needs to deliver presents.

RNBW: Say what now?

YSJ: (struggling to hold on) People....have....got to stop....asking for....attractive, heart of gold, golden retriever personified blondes for Christ- (slowly disappear from view) -maaaaaaas!

Ruby: Uh.... Blake, Neptune, aren't you guys right here?

Weiss: And your partners just got spirited away because someone else wished for them from Santa?

Blake & Neptune: (leap from their seats with their weapons drawn) OH, HELL, NO!!! (give chase)

Blake: Get back here with my blonde, Fat Man!!!

Neptune: That is MY muscle, monkey, boytoy!

Santa: Ho-Ho-Holy Fuck!!! Bring it on, children! I'll put both of you on the naughty list!

RWE: (blink) Uhhhh...

Penny: (suddenly being levitated passed the window, stiff as a board) Hello, girlfriend Ruby! Goodbye, girlfriend Ruby!

Ruby: Hey! That one's mine! (lock and loads Crescent Rose and gives chase)

#bumbleby #yang xiao long #blake belladonna #rwby #weiss schnee #ruby rose #rwby crack post #rwby shitpost #All people want for christmas is golden retriever bombshell blondes #emerald sustrai #neptune vasilias #sea monkeys #christmas #santa #jaune arc #jealous blake #jealous neptune #christmas au #holiday au #happy holidays #nuts and dolts #penny polendina

[fandomflotilla]

Weiss: So…how old are you now?

Jaune: Fuck if I know. Physically? Like 20? Mentally? Early 40’s…I think. Time was…weird.

Weiss: I’m so sorry you were left there for so long.

Jaune: It’s…it’s okay. I think the healing Alyx gave me is helping. I’m not…losing all memory of what happened, but it’s slowly being locked away in my head. And I think my brain at least is getting back to the same age we all were going in? So in a month I might be more my former self.

Weiss: …so you’re telling me I should wait a month before trying anything, got it.

Jaune: …what?

Weiss: Oh. Nothing.

Jaune: …

Weiss: It’s just…uh. Well.

Jaune: Well what?

Weiss: I was…you know. Going to ask. If we could hang out.

Jaune: We hung out-hang out all the time, Weiss, why would you wait a month?

Weiss: We haven’t hung out before…at least in the way I was thinking.

Jaune: …

Weiss: …

Jaune: …wait.

Weiss: *blushes*

Jaune: You’re joking.

Weiss: …no?

Jaune: When did you first-

Weiss: …about five minutes after we met back up in the ever after.

Jaune: Weiss when that happened I was about 20 years older than you. That would’ve been incredibly fucked up.

Weiss: No it wouldn’t! I checked the numbers and given I’m early twenties and you were late thirties the half your age plus 7 rule works! Plus you’d be WAY younger than my father so it wouldn’t be weird at all!

Jaune: …

Weiss: …

Jaune: …you have a daddy kink don’t you?

Weiss: I have a daddy kink, yeah.

Jaune: …

Weiss: …

Jaune: *sigh* If you wait two months for me to be somewhere in the same mental age as you, as consolation I’ll let my beard grow out-

Weiss: DEAL.

Jaune: …You agreed to that way too quickly.

Weiss: …yeah. I’m a little embarrassed too.

Jaune: Don’t worry, you’re still a good girl.

Weiss: …

Jaune: …I said that out loud, didn’t I?

Weiss: *whispers* Two months, it’s only two months…you can make it two months, Weiss…

- Bonus Dose of Crack -

Jaune: I don’t know though, the age thing is still a little weird

Weiss: Relax, even if there’s an age gap, I’m not a kid, I’m a legally consenting adult, Jaune, and you’re a friend, no matter your age.

Jaune: …thanks Weiss.

Jaune: I might still check the laws though, this still doesn’t feel legal.

Ruby: I’mLegalToo!

Weiss/Jaune: What?

Ruby: I. Uh. I’m 18. Had my birthday a month or two ago. So I’m also a legally consenting adult.

Weiss/Jaune: …

Ruby: Just uh…putting that out there…

Ruby: Okaybye-*semblances out*

Jaune: …what was that about?

Weiss: …I’ll…tell you in two months.

#jaune arc #rwby #weiss schnee #white knight rwby #crack fic #ruby rose #war of the roses #under the readmore #weiss has daddy issues

[howlingday]

Ruby: We need to call in the experts of seduction!

Ruby: Ren!

Ren: Well, hello there~.

Ruby: Jaune!

Jaune: Bonjour~.

Ruby: And Nora.

Nora: Hey, how ya doin'? (Crushes can on head)

#rwby #ruby rose #nora valkyrie #lie ren #jaune arc #a crack in time #ratchet and clank

[rwac96]

Crossover Crackship Meme: Jangiku/Ash Knight/Aratsumoto/Amplified Ashes

RANGIKU MATSUMOTO - BLEACH

X

JAUNE ARC - RWBY

#meme #memes #meme post #crossover #crossover ship #crossover crack ship #crossover crack ship meme #bleach #rwby #jaune arc #rangiku matsumoto #jangiku #ash knight #aratsumoto #amplified ashes

[thuskindlyshescatters]

There's (maybe) a perfectly good blacksmith in the Ever After and Jaune specifically still uses the broken sword he murdered an innocent and ended the world with decades later

Discuss

#rwby #rwby9 #rwby spoilers #jaune arc #buddy i want to crack your psyche open like an egg #WHY ARE WEEKS SO LONG

[rwby-encrusted-blog]

Jaune: Sweet! Phineas and Ferb: Across the Second Dimension is on sale! Man I loved that show as a kid! Did you guys ever watch it?

Ruby: Of course- Well. We watched a good bit of it.

Jaune: What? Couldn't afford the channel or something?

Yang: Well, the movie came out, the one where they Hop dimensions?

Jaune: I though it was really good!

Yang: Yeah, so did we, until ....

~~~~~

Movie: SUMMER! It's like the world's best story, and it's waiting to be To-old!

Kid!Ruby: *Sobbing her eyes out* MAMA!

Kid!Yang: *Clutching Ruby, Sniffling*

~~~~~

Jaune: Huh.

Ruby: Yep. But we're big girls now! We can handle a movie for little kids!

Yang: Definitely!

Ruby: Uh-Huh!

Jaune: Cool! Would you mind coming over to the JNPR dorm for Movie night then? You can bring Weiss and Blake!

Ruby: Certainly!

~They Could not, in fact, handle the Movie for little Kids~

#rwby #jaune arc #ruby rose #yang xiao long #rwby shitpost #rwby crack post #I know the phrase “they didn't need to go that hard for a ____” But that's bs #They DID need to go that hard! #And any composure who doesn't feel the need to go that hard should find a project they feel the need to go hard on!

[therealmofamorus]

Crossover Crack Ship: Jaakoto/Karc/Jupiter Knight/Trust and Chivalry/Sincere Heart

Makoto Kino/Sailor Jupiter:

Jaune Arc:

#my post #rwby #jaune arc #sailor moon series #makoto kino #sailor jupiter #crossover crack ship #crossover crack ship meme #meme post #meme shitpost #crossover au #crossover shitpost #crack ship #jaakoto #karc #jupiter knight #trust and chivlary #sincere heart

[blueskyportrait]

WBY+ Jaune reacting to Ruby minecrafting herself Vol 9 episode 8

#my art #rwby #rwde #rwby volume 9 #rwby v9 #rwby vol 9 #ruby rose #weiss schnee #blake belladonna #yang xiao long #jaune arc #rwooby on crack

[dragonotaku-justineverything]

Can we see one of those instances where Weiss “accidentally” calls Jaune “Daddy” in public?

Weiss: *Resting her chin on her hand as she looks at Jaune train in the Atlas training room, imagining all the things he’s going to be doing to her in the bedroom later*

Jaune: Hey Weiss. You want to come out and spar with me?

Weiss: *Jaune picking her up and pinning her against the wall while holding her, wrapping her legs around his waist* 

Jaune: Hey. Weiss?

Weiss: *Jaune getting behind her as she gets into position on the bed, leaning in over her to whisper dirty things in her ear*

Jaune: Weeeeiss?

Weiss: *Jaune grabbing her ponytail in his strong grip, pulling it nice and snuggly as he thrusts forward into her eager-*

Jaune: Weiss!

Weiss: Mmmmmm yes daddy~?”

Jaune: 0////0 ! ...

Weiss: *Snaps back to reality* 0_0 ...

Jaune: ...

Weiss: ... *Slowly turns away from Jaune to look behind her*

At all the people behind her, that heard everything. 

Ruby:

Blake:

Yang:

Oscar:

Winter:

#rwby #jaune arc #weiss schnee #jaune x weiss #white knight #ask #chat #sfw #crack #anonymous #gif

[madmanwonder]

Volume 7 Jaune Arc to Cardin Winchester:

#rwby #rwby shitpost #jaune arc #cardin winchester #bamf jaune arc #jaune arc crack #jaune arc appreciation #Youtube

[heliosthegriffin]

Bad Advice

Jaune slouches over the table, angling his head to Nora: I don’t get it,

Nora, scientifically testing how much spaghetti one fork can hold: Get what?

Jaune: Why my flirting never works.

Nora still swirling spaghetti: Go on.

Jaune: Well, my dad says never to back down, my sisters say girls like strong and dangerous guys, and my mom says women like men who won’t hurt them.

Nora, still twirling fork, it creaks in pain: Hmm, I think I need a full pictures here. Describes to me your methods, Fearless leader.

Jaune nods: Alright, well I always try to get they’re attention so that way I don’t surprise them and scare them off.

Nora: Of course.

Jaune: So, I yell at the top of my lungs at, “HEY, I SEE YOU OVER THERE!”

Nora: Then what?

Jaune: Well sometimes they run, or just freeze up, but I’m always make sure to say, “DON’T MOVE I”M COMING AFTER YOU!” That way they know I’m going to over to them, and It wasn’t someone else.

Nora nods: Sounds like standard procedure boss.

Jaune: Well, anyway, if this is when they start running, so to make sure they know I’m not a quitter, I run after them as fast as I can. Keeping pace with them as fast as I can, and I usual catch up after a minute or two, after they run out of breath, but sometimes the chase lasts up to an hour if they’re athletic, but I always catch them.

Nora’s fork breaks.

Nora: What do you do if they freeze up?

Jaune: Oh, I go up and grab them by the shoulders and turn them around to see me, that way they know who they’re talking to. I’ll introduce myself, and ask they’re name. But, sometimes they give me a fake name, or suddenly pepper spray, or tase me.

Nora; Ouch.

Jaune: Eh, you get used to it. I make sure to not let that deter me, Saphron always said self-defense is the first step to love. So, I keep my grip tight and stare them in the eyes, and ask if they have anything going on later.

Nora: Guess they say no?

Jaune: That, or scream. That’s usually when they’re dad, teammate, or brother shows up.

Nora: So, what about the runners?

Jaune: Oh, I usually corner them in a alleyway or chase them into a deadend, the usual.

Nora; It’s what I’d do.

Jaune: I always makes sure to point at them when I finally catch, and say “You’re not getting away now,” Before I walk up to them, and slam my hand on the wall or whatever behind them. But to make sure they know I’m not a danger. I’ll tell them. “I’m not a threat! You can trust me!” Before giving them my best smile.

Nora: Hmm, *Stares at her broken fork*. Then what?

Jaune: Well, that’s when I usual wake up with my head throbbing and a restraining order.

Nora; Oh.

Jaune: Haaa, Nora, what am I’m doing wrong? It’s ok, I can take my some criticism. You can let it rip.

Nora: Really? Well... You’re being too passive! You can’t just let a concussion or a piece of paper stop you! You got to let the ladies know that nothing will stop you, not walls, the laws, pain, or even they’re consent!

Jaune: Yeah! Wait, what was that last one?

Nora: Don’t worry about it, there’s Velvet go get her champ!

Jaune: Damn right, Velvet! Don’t move I’m coming for you!

Velvet see’s Jaune, seizes up, pales, then bolts: AHHAHH!

Jaune: Don’t run, I’m not a threat! *Proceeds to chases her at racecar speed*

Nora nods her head, see’s Ren: Don’t move! I see you Ren, mama’s coming for you!

Ren: AAHAHH *Runs aways, while Nora pursues!

#Jaune Arc #Jaune Arc crack #Nora Valkyrie #velvet scarlatina #Lie Ren

[goldenamaranthe-blog]

Blake: Yang, we can have as many kids as you can carry.

Yang: Really?!

Blake: Mm-hmm.

Yang: I'll be right back!

Blake: Don't kidnap kids to carry!!!

Bonus:

Jaune: (getting pinned down by over a dozen nieces and nephews as they use him as an overgrown play thing)

Yang: (bursts through the door) Gimme all your nieces and nephews, Vomit Boy!

Jaune: (screams like a little girl)

#bumbleby #yang xiao long #blake belladonna #rwby #rwby crack post #rwby incorrect quotes #jaune arc bonus #i dont want to see any Jaune simps in my asks after this

[caterpillarinacave]

One thing I noticed when Jaune was telling the story about his trip with Alyx, was how we seemed to get upset when she strayed from the story he knew. At the beginning, he realizes he is the Rusted Knight, and he’s largely ok with it. He knows his role in the story, and is prepared to play it, get Alyx home, and move on with life.

But it’s not going like the story! Two people fall, and Alyx is mean as a wet panther. But that’s ok, the story still works with two people, still holds up with an unpleasant main character, he can still play his role. However, Alyx meets the Herbalist she doesnt trust Jaune anymore.

Now, everything is flipped upside down. How can he play the rusted knight, when Alyx doesn’t trust him, won’t follow him, and isn’t doing anything she’s supposed to be doing in the story? What is he supposed to do??? Why is she doing this??? What had he done wrong??? How could this happen???

He’s desperately upset, trying everything he can to get Alyx to follow the story, because that’s what he’s supposed to do! He knows knows fix everything, if she would just play her part! But she doesn’t. She’s an outside source, blocking him from the fundamental purpose of his role, not unlike Team RWBY beating the Red Prince, and thus ruining his role.

When the Red King was beaten, and when the Prince was beaten, it shook the very grounds of their reality. They don’t know what to do, because they have a role to follow!!! What are they supposed to do??? Why is this player cheating??? What had they done wrong??? How could this have happened??? They know what to do, if she would just play her part!!!

The creatures of the Ever After need a role in the story in order to function.

But Team RWBY doesn’t have this problem. They do have a role, but not one in this story, so when it’s interrupted they don’t physically break down the way the Ever After citizens do. The people of Remnant don’t have a set path, a role that never changes, a story that must be followed.

But Jaune does. Just like every other citizen of the ever after, Jaune has a role, and he must play it.

#What I’m getting at is Jaune is becoming more of a citizen of the ever agter #He doesn’t completely crack when the role is interrupted but he also doesn’t react the way a person would #To be clear I know rubys role is also interrupted but she reacts the way a person does #She didn’t instantly incapable of physically fitting into the world even if she does feel that way #rwby #rwby v9 #rwby volume 9 #rwby v9 spoilers #Jaune Arc #Rusted Knight #the rusted knight #ever after #the curious cat #team rwby #curious cat #alyx #the herbalist #Ruby rose

[howlingday]

Tyrian: Good Doctor, I believe you should be made aware of our... mutual enemy. (Taps scroll)

Qrow: (Appears on scroll, Run with Ruby)

Watts: QROOOOOOOOOOO- (Stalls, Cybernetics fritz)

Jaune: You don't understand, Blake! I cannot love any more than I do. I was cursed by gypsy ninjas as a child!

Blake: I know, Jaune, because I was in the very same gypsy ninja tribe that cursed you!

Tyrian: (Smacks Watts)

Watts: -OOOOOOOOOW!

#rwby #ratchet and clank #a crack in time #jaune arc #blake belladonna #tyrian callows #arthur watts #knightshade