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thesoftboiledegg · 7 months

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"The Jerrick Trap" was a clever twist on the body-swapping concept. I had trouble following it at first because they both sounded like Rick, to the point that I wondered if Jerry's half went in hiding. A lightbulb went off in my head when they clarified that they're both Rick and Jerry.

I've seen two people merged into one being ("Tuvix" from Star Trek: Voyager) but two consciousnesses sharing half of each person is something I've never watched before. And Rick and Jerry's personalities merged surprisingly well. Rick and Beth struggle to get along because they're so similar, but Jerry complements Rick perfectly--if only Rick would get his head out of his ass and accept it!

I wasn't a fan of the cold open, thinking "...OK, seriously? Rick 'hates' Jerry so much that he kills himself when he's stuck in his mind?" Others pointed out that maybe Rick just couldn't handle being in a brain without his coping mechanisms, which is a better idea. Still, it's hard to shake off your initial interpretation. I hoped that the episode would elaborate on that, but it never did.

And boy, Jerricky almost ruined the episode for me. Rick and Morty is full of silly, stupid humor--"The Old Man and the Seat" is an episode about Rick sitting on a toilet, for one--but that human-centipede creature was too bizarre. I won't say it was objectively bad, but I might skip that part during rewatches.

Back to what I enjoyed. I loved seeing the reappearance of Rick's favorite thing: crystals. The writers gave Rick's crow phase a shoutout, which is MY favorite thing. I'm surprised the comics never explored that period. I don't read the comics, but I would consider buying that issue.

The backgrounds were stunning, too. Rick and Morty's artists create dazzling environments with their color theory expertise. Rick and Jerry's Miami Vice adventures blew me away in every scene, making me want to live in that tropical city.

As for Memory Rick, he was a surprise. I was wondering today if he ever escaped Rick's mind, so I guess that was a premonition. He'll probably have an important role later on.

Anyway, Jerry admitting that Rick is the closest thing he has to a friend surprised me, but it's true when I think about it. Who else does he talk to? Space Beth can't stand him, his marriage is strained and his kids aren't his friends. His parents rarely show up.

Rick's the only person in his life who isn't obligated to hang out with him because they're related. He's also the only fellow adult male. As much as their lives diverge, Rick can relate to him in a way that no one else can.

Morty says at the end "I think it's clear that you both love each other more than you're willing to admit." Of course, Rick denies it, but his and Jerry's bickering at the table is their weird way of saying "I love you." If they didn't, they'd just leave the table instead of frantically overcompensating.

And their minds wouldn't have fused together so well, either. Otherwise, both halves of Rick would've just killed himself again, or grabbed the gun while Jerry's halves tried to fight him off.

"The Jerrick Trap": a visual masterpiece, a feast for the Jerrick shippers and insight into what's really going on in Rick and Jerry's minds when they argue.

#rick and morty #rick sanchez #jerry smith #the jerrick trap #season seven #rick and morty season seven #review

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iloveaustinelvisandmannymore · 9 months

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I've just sat and read all of your fics and they're all incredible! If it's okay, can you write an Elvis x female reader smut where she's in the audience of the Comeback special and maybe throughout the performance he kind if gravitates towards her? Ending really smutty where he invites her to his dressing room after? Thank you so so much!

Omg, I love this idea! 🥺 your words mean so much to me, im so happy that my works can make you entertained. on to the fanfic! I hope you like it.

Gravitation

Pairing: Elvis Presley x reader.

Warning: Reverse cowgirl, Praise, Cum shot, Dirty talk, Spanking, Mirror sex, Oral (fem), Cum eating, Fluff, Stranger to lovers? Creampie, Choking, Gagging, Melolagnia kink, Exhibitionism, Crying, Chubby!reader.

Summary: You never felt so lucky, you were one of the few people to watch The Rock and roll king; Elvis Presley, to see history. You felt things you haven't before and to make it worse or better you seem to gain the Rockstar's attention. You couldn't wait to see what the future held for you.

You watched the god-like man like he was everything and more, his stage presence awoke things you never thought were possible, and your heartbeat pulsated with the rhythm of the song he sang with such emotion. Your breath became baited as your eyes locked with the rockstar, a seductive smirk made its way to his face, and a knowing glint in his eyes. He continued to perform, dancing and singing more in your direction, and your juices soaked your underwear. You desired him like no other.

Even as he sat down to talk, he would glance your way, it was unbearable when you were told y'all could take a break, you looked around for Elvis but he wasn't around he probably went to his changing room and feeling nothing short of disappointment fall in the pit of your stomach, you begin to walk to the ladies room when THE jerry schilling stood in front of you, his eyes looked your curved bigger body up and down behind his almost see through shades, unknowingly to him or knowing he licked his lips before he snapped out of his episode and cleared his throat. "Elvis wants to see you. Follow me sugar," he spoke softly so you only heard him despite you being in an empty hallway "lead the way." you nodded eagerly making Jerry laugh at your excitement and begin to show you to Elvis's changing room. With each step you got wetter, you heard tales of women who had the luxury of sleeping with the king, they had said such it was like no other, you were gonna see if it was true.

You both reached the door of the dressing room, Jerry bid you goodbye but you hardly heard him, your heartbeat was too loud in your ears, with a gulp of courage you knocked on the door and waited, playing with the edge of your dress skirt, that rested on the middle of your plush thighs not long his voice called out to you and invited you in. You turned the handle and walked in, a view which would make any fan faint to see in person, There sitting on a couch was Elvis smirk on his lips, manspreading still in that heavenly black leather suit, his eyes traced your big body, your breasts stood out like a masterpiece, your baby carrying hips, those thighs he wanted to fuck, 'Next time' he noted his mind, continuing to check you out, those legs that he wanted to be wrapped his waist, Elvis took a sip of his iced coke and put into down on the end table. Elven sent a soft smile as he becked you over with a finger, he chuckled as he pulled you onto his lap, his hand gripping your hips before moving his hands up your love handles, stopping briefly to squeeze them and then moving on until his hands cupped your breasts and groaning at the weight of them in his palms "Yar a pretty thing aren't cha." he spoke looking at you with lustful-adoring blue orbs, "Thank you Mr.Presley" you replied softly "Elvis for you darlin'." he licked his lips, his fingers gripped onto your wide hips. Elvis leaned his head back on the wall that the couch was pushed up against, his lidded eyes watching you "Go on, pretty thing, ride me." he encouraged you, your slick dripped from your oversoaked panties, and you got off his lap, your fingers worked to undo his pants and pull them down with Elvis's help, his cook stood proud once free, at a good 8 inch, which twitched from the cold air, you wrapped your hand around his thick cock and gave an experimental jerk, A sharp hiss leaves Elvis and you couldn't stop yourself.

You knew you should be patient and tease him but you dreamed of this moment ever since you heard and saw this man. You quickly took off your underwear, turned around, lined his cock to your entrance, and slid down his large length. You both hissed at the feeling, you from his member stretching your pussy, giving a pleasant burn and him from the feeling of the tightest pussy he had ever been in before, the feeling of your ass laying on his thighs, giving a comforting weight while feeling great pleasure. You breathed in, lifted your hips, and began to bounce, moans left your lips as his cock head hit your g-spot "Fuckk" Elvis moaned, wrapping his arms around your stomach, laying his head on your back, and his hips bucking up at each time you lifted yourself, pretty whines and pants was all that sounds he seemed could make, "Fuckin' hell pretty thing, go faster, wanna cream this pussy." Elvis groaned, thrusted upwards, your cheeks heated up from his dirty words, and lean a bit forward, gripping the little bit of couch that was between Elvis's spread legs and rolled your hips before riding the man below you faster, the sound of your ass hitting against his lap become louder and his thrusts faster, chasing his release. Elvis threw his head back, whining, eyes squeezed shut as he filled you with his seed "Get up sugar" he tapped your hips after gaining back some of his energy "Go to the mirror f'me, put your hands on the vanity and bend over." he commanded, watching you do as you were told, he got up after you, taking off the icon suit and walked behind his jet black hair laid on his forehead and his body adored a layer of sweat from being rid. Elvis sent you a smile through the mirror before lowering to his knees, flipping your dress skirt off your ass, and spreading your pillowy thighs to see your glistening folds, covered into your slink, and his slowly dripping out semen "Ain't this a pretty sight" he licked his lips, and buried himself in said thighs, licking stride up your cunt.

"Oh fuck!" you cried as his tongue flicked at your clitoris before wrapping his lips around the sensitive nerve and sucking on it. Hard. You grabbed the edge of the vanity, and whimpered, laying your forehead against the mirror. He gave one last suck before dragging his tongue through your folds to your cum-filed core, the wet muscle circled your entrance and penetrated, his lapped at your walls, licking out his cum

It felt so good, tears pooled at the corner of your eyes, and little sobs of pleasure left you as he didn't hold back, cumming when he nibbled your clit. You watched as Elvis appeared up from behind you, his lower face shining from your slick, and a dirty smug smirk was directed at you through the mirror, once again his hands took your hips and he moved closer to you until his tip poked your slit "Ya ready?" he asked, you nodded "Tell me." he ordered " Yes I'm ready." you smiled, touched by his caring nature.

He slowly began to push inside of you, inch by inch this new angle gave was heavenly, you felt every thing.

He grunted as he finally was balls deep into you, his balls rested on your outer lips and clitoris. He pulled back before snapping his hips, forcing a scream that has cut short by Elvis's fingers down your throat, causing you to gag around them as his thrust set a slowly but pace, pulling out slowly and snapping his hips, his eyes locked on where you were connected. He didn't keep that up for long as his hammering became faster, his hips smacked against your ass, the skin rippling at the impact, his fingers left your mouth and placed them on your neck, squeezing slightly and leaning his body on your back, his pounding reaching a new deep, his jackhammering shook your body. Elvis's eyes looked up at the mirror as he spot one of his female tailoresses who flirted with him, despite him showing no interest in her, peaking through the now open door with a sad and raged look on her face as she watched him take a big girl than her, she was mad but she couldn't look away from the scene in front of her. Knowing he was being watched as he fucked you, who will be his girl from now on, turned him on more than he thought he was, his thrusted was turning rapid, and his unoccupied hand pulled you back against him, his balls slapped your pussy as he didn't bother holding his moans, that joined your moaning and whining, his ocean blues moved from the envious woman to you, looking at your pleasure covered face.

You were getting close, oh so close to snapping that knot and you could tell so was Elvis, his cock twitched within you "I-'m gonna cum sugar!" he groaned, his dick hitting your cervix finally making your climax "Elvis!" you cried out coming down your high when he suddenly pulled out and manhandled you to your kneels, his hand working frantically as cum shot out his cock head, landing on your face and cleavage. "Goddamn." he laughed breathlessly as he helped you up and to the couch, both of you sitting on. You sat cuddling into his side as his arm draped over your shoulders, his head resting on yours as you recovered from the mind-blowing sex you had.

"Mr. Presley, you're on in—WHOA!" a man from the filming crew opened the closed door, his brown orbs widened as he took in the state of you two, slamming the door shut. A pregnant silence stretched before the man cleared his throat on the other side of the door "You're on in six minutes Mr. P-presley. I would r-recommend getting dressed." he spoke shakingly before his footsteps faded. You and Elvis looked at each other and busted out laughing for a good few seconds before you both cleaned yourself and redressed.

Elvis pulled you to with a smile "Meet me back here again after the shooting, I want to get to know ya pretty thing. Think ya will allow me?" He asked his thumbs caressing your hips "Of course." you smiles back and kissed him, pulling apart you laid your foreheads together before saying see you later and going your own ways. The rest of the filming was filled with secret smiles and glances.

Taglist:

@dkayfixates, @louisejoy86, @iloveelvis, @backyard-barbie, @elvispresleygf,@vixen1216, @jaqueline19997, @ringo-bingo01,@livelaughelvis, @genetakovicluvr, @vampi-amora, @domaniquessidehoe, @18lkpeters,@fantastickingdomsalad,@damcoquette, @elvisslut, @thegettingbyp2, @everythingelvispresley, @austinelvis-lover, @devilsflowerr,@claire-elvisgirl @arabellapresley @lettersfromvenus @elvisismylife, @ccab, @msamarican @xvxnoahxvx, @kxnnxy, @ladelinee, @elvisalltheway101, @mrspresleys-blog, @butlersxbirdy, @callieselvisobsessed, @thememphisflash1935-1977, @nobodyknowimhere, @crash-and-cure, @vintagepresley , @xanatenshi .

#elvis imagine #elvis presley x reader #elvis x reader #elvis smut #elvis fanfic #elvis fanfiction #elvis presley #elvis fic #elvis x y/n #elvis presely smut #elvis x you

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jarofalicesgrunge · 9 months

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Facelift Album Cover full Selection 1991.

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aliypop · 4 months

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My Babe

Word Count: 2,123

Writers Note: My first hardcore smut fic y'all! Thank @sissylittlefeather and my Graceland Trip for this masterpiece! I hope you all like it!

Warning: SMUT MINORS DO NOT INTERACT AT ALL

Pairing: POC OC x Elvis

Plot: It's 1971 and the Memphis Mob are hanging out in the TV room indulging in some delights of films until Mrs. Presley shows up.

Taglist

@darkmoviesquotespizza

@sissylittlefeather

@richardslady121

@thegettingbyp2

@presleyenterprise

@sissylittlefeather

@dkayfixates

@rjmartin11

@thetaoofzoe

@your-nanas-house

@zayurir

@60svintage

@sillybookmarks

Graceland 1971

The movie room had been a well-missed room. With Elvis on tour and his wife Cecelia home tending to Jesse and Elaine, he needed some time to hang out with his boys, the Memphis Mafia. Well, some of them, sitting in the mirror-tiled ceiling room, there was Joe, Jerry, Red, and Elvis, who was puffing on a cigarillo, the smell filling up the room burying itself deep into the carpet. But there was something else that the men were buried deep into the picture show on the projector. It was a porno that was lying around if you'd asked Elvis about it. It was just on the table when he'd gotten there. Usually, he'd hidden those things so the kids and his wife wouldn't find it.

"You ever do anything like that with C," Jerry asked as Joe and Red egged Elvis on for an answer,

"It looks uncomfortable," Red commented, looking as the actors went on to do one of many positions

"It is." He winked back, taking a long drag.

"You're kidding?" Red questioned, but Elvis had that sly smile on his face that said everything without his lips moving,

"E, you mean you've done that?!" Joe laughed as Elvis nodded,

"Pleasurable for her, though," Elvis smirked,

"Cece is a loud one..." Jerry mumbled as Red agreed.

"Listenin in gets you off or something?" Elvis glanced at Jerry,

"I've been on the plane with you two." Jerry smirked, "Not to mention. My God Niece and Nephew are what seven now?"

"You make a good point." Elvis rolled his eyes as his friends laughed at him.

Coming down the stairs in her pink nightgown and heeled slippers were Cecelia. Though she'd never admit it, she always loved the mirrored ceiling staircase. Because it reminded her of the day they had first installed them and their "test" run view with them. Inching around the corner, Cecelia could hear the sounds of laughter and moans coming from the TV room. As she finally arrived, Cecelia tried not to hold in her laughter from the sight she saw. Cecelia tried to hold in her laughter as she heard Elvis and the boys had been in a heated debate.

"What'cha watching, boys?"

Joe, Red, Jerry, and Elvis got quiet like little boys caught with their mother's lingerie magazines.

"Mrs. Presley, We were uh!" Joe started out,

"How'd that even get up there?" Red laughed bashfully,

Jerry just stared at her as if he knew there was a setup of some kind.

"B-Baby, you shouldn't be watchin this crap!" Elvis tried to find the remote to stop the movie.

"Right, a lady like you shouldn't-"

"Well, of course not. After all, it's not like I wasn't the one who purchased it." Cecelia smirked as Elvis' eyes went wide, "Who'd you think bought it, surely not Red?" she smirked as Elvis glanced at her. The robe over her shoulders and the feverish hue on her tawny skin was she sending him a message.

"You're one dirty girl, C," Jerry commented,

"You just now figured that out." She chuckled as she sat on her husband's lap to watch the rest. Elvis could feel his pants getting tight and the blood rushing to his cock as her straps fell from her shoulders.

"You should tell 'em to go," Cecelia whispered in his ear, her fingers in his sideburns.

"But honey..."

"Elvis, I'm not wearing any panties... And not to mention, I've had to touch myself lately."

"Mmm, is that so..." Cecelia nodded,

"Mhmm, dripping wet right now," her voice had a whimper in it. Elvis trailed his hand up her dress and in between her legs as he brushed a finger against her lips, slowly pulling his finger back from under. He had a boyish grin that was devilish.

"You know this was a great time, but-"

"E, you're not kicking us out!" Joe asked, "Jerry, it's getting good he's not kicking us out!"

"No, but I am, Joe, Red Jerry out!" Cecelia projected as they got up and scattered out,

"Bit rude, don't you think..." Elvis joked as she straddled him,

"Elvis Aaron Presley, I'm hot and bothered, and I need you to fuck me. None of that soft shit tonight, just pure grade-A sex." she pointed to the projector. Elvis touched her skin as it was feverish with lust, her body grinding on his thigh to get some friction. "

Fuck baby, tell me what you need, baby."

"Uh- uh, you've... Ah~ been so bad, which means..." her body still grinding in a rhythm that was driving her on edge,

"Means what..." He shivered, feeling her wet slick through his pants

"You can't touch me til I say so." her breathing was getting thin, and her eyes were fluttering,

" You ain't gonna last long, darlin." He whispered, bouncing his knee against her clit as she moaned louder, her hands on her breast as if she were trying to rip her own clothes off,

"Elvis! Fa! Fa!Fa!" slipping the dress off her, he plunged his fingers deep inside her, massaging her G-spot as his other hand was around her breast, massaging and sucking on her nipple, giving it a bit of a nibble and tug as she erupted in a pleasurable scream.

"What was that about til you say so?" Elvis smirked as he looked up at the ceiling. Her face was even more heavenly in its reflection. Lying her down on the couch, Elvis was between her thighs as he lapped at the bud of nerves with his tongue like a kitten needing milk. He wouldn't lie and say that this wasn't his favorite fruit he couldn't get from any store, but with his fingers and tongue deep in her pussy, he couldn't help but fall more in love with his wife,

"ELVIS FUCK ME FUCK ME FUCK ME!!!" was all he could hear in between her pulling his hair, glancing up she could see the sight that she'd forever have in her brain, Elvis between her thighs, eating like a man on death row, devouring her wet waters like a man who'd been thirsty for years, her legs squeezed around his head. But he didn't care. Elvis knew Cecelia was close to the light at the end of the tunnel. Watching as her eyes rolled back and legs shook, he'd begun to rub her lips and speed up his fingering and eating as she had soon squirted all over the couch.

"You okay, baby?'

"Mhmm."

"Good, cause I ain't done with you." zipping his pants, he took his cock out, stroking it some more to get it ready for Cecelia, who was now between his legs kissing his thighs as she focused all her attention on his pretty blue eyes. There was already loads of pre-cum on the tip, but Cecelia didn't mind. Her pretty lips were wrapped around the base as she bobbed her head to a steady rhythm. His head fell back on the couch as he looked up, almost finishing just from the sight of her on her knees,

"Think you take it all down. baby."

Cecelia nodded as she took a deep breath and deep throathed him. Her nose brushed against his balls as she massaged them with her free hand,

"Fuck baby, you're doing so good." his hips sputtered as he got closer, "Mngh!" was the noise he made when he felt her swirling, her tongue in between his tip. It was as if she were sucking his soul from out of his cock.

"Oh God!" his eyes rolled as he pumped thick streams of his cum down her throat, coating her tongue with a heavy amount of the nearly translucent fluid.

"Open wide, baby." He commanded as she did so. "Good girl." he pulled her up, kissing her swollen lips. The two exchange their separate tastes with each other.

Picking her up, he walked over to the bar. He had her facing forward toward the mirrors, "Look at yourself, baby. Is this what you want." He asked as she nodded, "Baby, I don't read head nods."

"Yes~" She moaned, feeling him slide his cock inside her slippery wet cavern.

"Hold on tight." He ordered as he began a steady pace, her breast knocking into the yellow leather as his balls were knocking into her skin. Cecelia looked up, and she saw the fucked out look on her face. Mascara smudged, her eyes rolling back, and her curls ruffled up.

"Look how sexed up you look, baby." he pulled her hair as he kept going, his pace faster,

"Deeper! Harder, faster!" That was what she commanded until he pulled out and carried her to the wall towards the Jukebox, her legs straddled him as she was up against the wall,

"Put me in darlin?" He asked as she did so, his hips driving into her as her nails dug into his back and her curses began to sound like sinful prayers.

"OH GOD, ELVIS FUCK ME!"

"SHIT, you feel so good," he began to rut in her until he carried her back to the couch,

"Ride me?"

"Like your name was Charro." She smirked as Elvis reached for his Cigarillo again, taking another drag from it as she slowly began to bounce herself on his cock, his hand giving her a nice smack on the ass, telling her to go faster, blowing the smoke away from her face. Elvis put it back in his mouth until he felt it missing. Cecelia was bouncing faster, and his cock was brushing up on that familiar spot she loved so much. Hanging from her mouth was his beloved Cigarillo taking a big drag from it she sat it down inside the astray as she kissed him passing the smoke to him as her tongue wrapped around his. Pulling away slowly Cecelia felt his hands on her cheeks as he pulled her into another kiss, when she pulled away she was then leaning back almost into the position of the bridge as he began to ram himself inside her,

"Baby you're so... Fuck! Sexy!"

"Does this turn you on?" her fingers fiddling with her sensitive clit as she kept riding him, he had begun to lick his thumb placing it there to give her more pleasure,

"Yes oh God yes," he groaned as he kissed her neck and bit down. Changing the position Elvis was lying down as she was still going, her breast bouncing in his face, reaching to grab them he squeezed and pulled on them,

"You know these are mine right?"

"All of me is baby."

"Good." He said both of them were breathing harder as the coil in her stomach was getting near, she could feel the hot sensation of his cum shoot inside her "as she collapsed on his, a grin on his face,

"Come on Angel I know you got one more in you."

"El..." her eyes were glossy, but there she was on her knees his cock between her breast as she began to rub him down with them, with the tip would hit near her mouth she'd open and lick the pre-cum off him as she'd nearly slurped him down.

"Baby more." his eyes caught sight of hers. The way the curve of her breasts simply drove him insane. He couldn't help but believe that he was the most blessed man to have his own pornstar hidden in his wife,

"Can't get this kind of lovin from those movies, can you?" she smirked as Elvis shook his head,

"I can't read head nods, darlin."

"N-N Oh fuck faster!" he growled as she blushed hard,

"Good boy," She smirked, peppering his cock with kisses and love bites,

"Getting closer, sugar?"

"C-C- Cece!" he began to shake as ropes of cum decorated her perky breast, a laugh escaping her lips as Elvis blushed,

"Baby, I'm sorry I didn't mean to,"

"Shush... It was sexy..." taking her fingers as she licked some of it off, like frosting from a cake.

"You give me fever doll. a hot blistering fever." he laughed. Walking down the hall he grabbed a towel and cleaned them both off as they were lying on the couch now watching the news. Elvis was buried deep inside her his hands on her waist as she took a nice big sigh,

"Hey, can I get my jacket..."

"Jerry, you're still here!" Cecelia blushed, popping up from behind the couch."

"I'll come back tomorrow." Jerry sighed,

"That makes two of us," Elvis smirked, kissing Cecelia.

"Elvis..."

"Yeah Jerry."

"Shut the hell up." He sighed. "And put some clothes on Cece!"Elvis and Cecelia laughed.

"Sheesh guess someone's been getting railed by life lately..." Cecelia mumbled.

"I heard that!"

#oc #fanfiction #new stuff #new #romance #elvis presley #elvis fanfiction #elvis x oc #elvis the pelvis #70s elvis #cecelia valmos #poc oc x elvis #elvis fans #elvis smut #oc x elvis #memphis mafia #i hope this is okay!#I tried my best #Spotify

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incorrectbatfam · 2 years

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Batfam interacting and bonding with Bernard, if it's not too much to ask?

Dick: Hey, Bernard! Tim's not here right now. Bernard: That's fine, I can come back late— Dick: *drags Bernard inside* Dick: Sorry I didn't get around to it sooner, but I've been meaning to ask, what do you do? Bernard: Huh? Dick: What do you do for a living? How do you plan on paying for that engagement ring that you'll be getting Tim in ten years? Bernard: Ten years is a long— Dick: Speaking of rings, have you seen that new Lord of the Rings show? Barbara said I should skip it, but there's something weirdly amusing about bad shows, you know? Bernard: I've heard of— Dick: *tightens his grip on Bernard's shoulder* Dick: What's your favorite bad media, Bernie? Can I call you Bernie? Bernard: Actually, I prefer— Dick: Sweet. Anyway, Bernie, lemme show you my collection of Dreamworks movies that people claim are flops but are actually cinematic masterpieces. —————

Jason: This is the kitchen. It's where we keep the knives. Bernard: *sweats* ————— Damian: You must be my brother's lover. Bernard: Yeah, I guess. Damian: Do better. ————— Bernard: Wait, so everyone in your family is a vigilante? Duke: Pretty much. Even Jarro. Bernard: Who's Jarro? Duke, whispering: We don't talk about Jarro. ————— Bernard: Let me get this straight. Cullen: I've tried. It's best not to fight it. ————— Stephanie: You must be Bernard! I'm Steph. Bernard: You're Tim's ex, right? Stephanie: Oh, yeah, but don't worry, it won't be awkward. 'Cause you know what we got in common? Bernard: What? Stephanie: We're the only two people who know about eight-year-old Tim's Honey Boo Boo parody where he puts on his mom's dress and pretends to be a pageant princess called Timmy Toot Toot. Bernard: Proof or it didn't happen. Stephanie: *pulls out her phone* ————— Cassandra: *stares* Bernard: Um, hi? Cassandra: *stares* Bernard: Can I help you? Cassandra: *stares* Bernard: Oh, you must be Cass! I'm Bernard. Cassandra: *stares* Bernard: Cassandra: *stares* Bernard: *visibly uncomfortable* Cassandra: *stares* Bernard: I think I'll head out... ————— Bernard: Hey, sorry I'm late. Barbara, in front of her laptop: No worries, Bernard Dowd of 8255 Cypress Avenue, it's not your fault your Uber surreptitiously stopped at the Ben and Jerry's on Main Street for 11 minutes. That must have been frustrating, but at least you could use your 50% off coupon for a Cherry Garcia and only had to charge $2.65 to your MasterCard ending in 3363. ————— Harper: You know how to use a blowtorch? Bernard: No. Harper, handing him a blowtorch: You do now. ————— Carrie: Your name's Bernard? Bernard: Yep. Carrie: Why? ————— Kate: As an elder gay, I've always felt a tug of responsibility to protect my kin, and there's no baby gay more precious to me than Tim. Bernard: I'll treat him well. Kate: I know you will. But just in case, have you ever heard of the Secret Union of Toolbox Lesbians? Bernard: Can't say I have. What exactly, uh, do they do? Kate: Normally they go around fixing things. Cars, door hinges, you name it. But sometimes they'll take on... additional duties. Bernard, nervously: Like what? Kate: *squeezes his shoulder* Kate: I hear you're a fan of unsolved mysteries. Bernard: ————— Alfred: Take a seat. Master Tim will be out shortly. Bernard: Thanks. What are you cooking? It smells good? Alfred: Oh, just a traditional English soup. A diplomat once told me it was the best thing he ever had. Bernard: Really? Alfred: Indeed. Alfred, whispering: The secret is a little touch of arsenic. ————— Selina: You like cats. Bernard: Sure. Selina: This one's a keeper. ————— Bruce: You be good to Tim, or else. Bernard: I will, I promise. No need to gut me with a batarang. Bruce, confused: What are you talking about? Bernard: Nothing, don't worry about it. Bruce: I won't. Bernard: Phew. Bruce, sipping his coffee: But you should. ————— Tim: I'm so sorry about my family. Bernard: They're a lot, but it's okay. They remind me of you. Tim: Aw, I love you. Bernard: I love you too... Timmy Toot Toot.

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lalaballa1977 · 6 months

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The opening line to this record is “I just wanted to be one of the Strokes”

I actually wanted to be like Mina [Italian melodic pop singer from the 60′s and 70′s]

Like Mina?!

(He stands up and starts singing) “Un bacio è troppo poco per sapere se ti amo. Un bacio è troppo poco per capire veramente se mi piaci, se mi piaci” What a voice. And such beautiful eyes. Mina! A friend of mine introduced me to “Una casa in cima al mondo” on a 7 inch vinyl record, “L’Eclisse” by Antonioni, i caroselli and Adriano Celentano. I know his nickname was “The Molleggiato” (the bouncy guy), they say his insipirations were Elvis Presley and Jerry Lewis. His song “Il tuo bacio è come un rock” is a masterpiece.

Alex Turner’s interview for La Repubblica - May 6th, 2018

AM in Rome, May 26 (!!!), 2018

#alex turner #tbhc era #star treatment #mina #never forget Alex singing Mina in Rome #milex

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frost-queen · 7 months

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Black rose in a sea of red (Reader x Jerry Baynard)

Requested by: @alicethewriterandfangirl , Forever tag:@missmelodramatic, @merlin-dahlia, @alex--awesome--22, @elllie-does-the-posts, @floatlosers, @merlieve, @queen-of-books, @glimmering-darling-dolly@denkisclown, @wildieflower, @meyocoko, @bubblybrianna, @justanothercoco@subjecta13-thefangirl, @m-rae23, @harleyquinnswifeyfrfr, @swampthing07, @melsunshine, @panhoeofmanyfandoms, @venomsvl, @the-uncoordinated-house-cat, @rosecentury, @imagines-by-her, @evilcr0ne, @vviolynn

Summary: TW! Selfharm! You are upset of how your friends have such amazing lives while yours is terrible. Coming from a bad home, your coping behavior is self harm. Struggling with the idea of wanting to end it all, is Jerry there to save you from doing so.

The chattering died away when Miss Stacy settled everyone down. Specifically Anne who was proclaiming her opinion as loud as she could. Almost standing on the table to declare her words. Diana was tugging at her dress to pull her to sit. – “Miss Cuthbert if you please.” – Miss Stacy said giving her a stern glare. Anne chuckled settling down. Ruby was still whispering to Tillie. With one look of Miss Stacy pressed Ruby her lips together with force. Billy snorting across the classroom at how silly she looked.

Miss Stacy cleared her throat letting his chuckle die. When finally the peace had settled clasped Miss Stacy her hands together. – “I hope you all brought your assignments that I handed out last week.” – she started. Anne who was always eager already set her basket on the table, ready to show it to Miss Stacy. Miss Stacy smiled politely ushering her to wait. – “You may all set it on the table if you please.” – she continued giving the signal.

Everyone ducked down to reach in their baskets to set their work of art on the table. You felt uneasy taking out your artwork. Glancing to the side you saw Charlie’s piece of art. Billy and Paul laughing loud. – “Is that an aardvark?” – Billy joked laughing his ass off. Charlie groaned. – “No! It’s a dog.” – he mumbled setting his hand under his chin, pushing his artwork closer to his chest. Gilbert turned around in his seat looking at Billy’s work.

“Is that a self-portrait?” – he said snarky. Billy mimicked a childish laugh, annoyed by his words. – “Well yeah yours…” – Billy got a bit up to look at Gilbert’s work. Gilbert moved aside on purpose for him to see. – “Well yours… yours…” – Billy said trying to find an insult. Gilbert was smiling beyond himself when Billy couldn’t find something bad to say about it. – “I thought so.” – he said turning back around silencing Billy.

Paul laughed loud at how Gilbert had left Billy speechless. Across back by the girls was Anne proudly showing her masterpiece to everyone. – “Did you do this stitching?” – Diana asked pointing at it. Anne shook her head. – “No, Marilla helped me.” – she then pointed at some paint work. – “This is Matthew’s work, and this weird thing was added by Jerry.” – she finished pointing at a wobbly thing at the top. Diana held her art up. – “My mother helped as well. She painted the flowers.” – she commented.

Ruby got up waving her hand in between them for attention. – “My mother helped too! She did this, this, and this.” – she said pointing at several things in different angles. – “What did you do?” – Tillie replied as it appeared Ruby’s mother did everything herself. – “I did this.” – Ruby answered annoyed pointing at her name written in the corner. Diana rolled her eyes at how silly she was.

Seeing their work you rather wanted to crush it or throw it out of the window. Compared to their, yours seemed like it was made by a child. Also hearing them speak so lovingly about how their parents helped out felt like a punch in your gut. It was something you could only dream off, having a loving mother. Your mother didn’t help in your project. You dared ask her one time. That didn’t end well.

You got yelled at for ruining her moment and annoying her with silliness. Looking at your art again of paper mâché you noticed the dent of where your father had stepped on it. On purpose or accident. It didn’t really much as it had ruined it much. Seeing your friends talk so godly about their parents made you want to cry, pull your hair out and scream your lungs out. Ruby and Tillie turned around to you.

“Let me see yours Y/n.” – Ruby spoke as Diana and Anne looked over them. You pulled it closer to your chest, shaking your head. – “It’s…it’s terrible.” – insisting on it. – “Come show us Y/n.” – Tillie said pulling at your hand. You really didn’t want to show her, finding it unworthy. Ruby helped her to pull your hand away. Tillie then snatched it from you. – “Hey!” – you called out catching the attention of some boys across and Miss Stacy who waited to see where this was going.

Tillie held it up before her looking at it with a questioning brow. – “Did your mother help out?” – Ruby asked probably not meaning anything with it. She was always this innocent and naïve, yet it struck a nerve with you. – “No!” – you called out snatching the art from Tillie back. You then it on the ground setting your foot hard on it. Everyone gasped loud at your little act. – “Y/n!” – Miss Stacy called out concerned. You let your fingers brush automatically over your inner arm, knowing of the scars lingering there.

“Brute.” – one of Billy’s friends called out. Miss Stacy shushing him immediately. Miss Stacy approached you, kneeling gently down to pick up your crushed work of art. – “We can still mend this.” – she said with a warm smile. You shook your head. – “It is broken!” – you answered. Just like yourself. Turning your face away from her, you felt ashamed.

Ashamed and unworthy. Truly wondering what the exact point of you was. Not one of them here knowing a darn thing about your family. They had no idea with their wonderous lives, living like princesses. While you crawled through the gutter with no way out. Consistently surrounded by darkness. The only way out of the sinking was the carving. The marks on your inner arms that helped you coped with it.

Miss Stacy reached up to take your hand. The second she had your hand, you pulled it away. Needing to escape you took a run for it. – “Y/n.” – Miss Stacy called out as some jumped up. Gilbert being one of them. He wanted to run after you as Miss Stacy held him back by his shoulder. – “Let us give her a moment in solitude.” – Miss Stacy said sensing you didn’t want any company at this moment. – “But…” – Gilbert started seeing Miss Stacy shake her head.

He sighed deep, slouching his shoulders. He returned to his seat. Miss Stacy set your artwork on her desk, seeing how sloppy it was once your foot had tackled it. You ran frantically into the woods away from the school. Unable to cope with it. The sugary of your friends biting like sour in your flesh. Their life was something you could never achieve. Not with the home situation you have now.

A mother and father who barely looked at you. A brother who tackled you whenever he pleased. All the workload put on you. Treated like dirt by your own family. Never once said an ‘I love you’ or ‘thank you.’ Maybe this was just how things were meant to be. Unloved. Panting loud you kept running coming into different parts of the woods.

Jerry was whistling loud, carrying a sack over his shoulder. He had come back from the market, making his way back to Green Gables. Something caught his sudden attention as he noticed it was you. – “Y/n!” – Jerry shouted happily waving your way. He frowned when you didn’t seem to see him. Simply running past. Jerry lowered his sack questionable. Why weren’t you at school? Why were you running away? Was everything alright?

Feeling a bit worried he picked up his sack again, going after you. Near a shack crashed you down; out of breath. Leaning against the wood you let your head fall back. Still panting till your breathing steadied. Then the thoughts came. Those dark thoughts that always pushed you to the edge. You already know what to do. Reaching in your pocket, you pulled out a sharp object. Then slowly pulling your sleeves up. Scars of old on your flesh.

Those dark thoughts became louder as it made you bring the tip of the sharpness to your wrist. Tears rolled down your cheek as your hand trembled. It would take one impulsive thought for you to bleed. Bleed till your life would slip away. Why shouldn’t you do it? What good was there in this life? There was no one to pull you out so it was easier to just accept it and be rid of this hell.

Gently setting the tip deeper onto your skin, your sight got blurrier from your tears. – “No!” – you suddenly heard startling you so hard, the tip had pressed deeper into your skin. A single drop of blood forming. Jerry rushed over to you, grabbing the sharp thing from your grip, and throwing it as far away from him. – “Don’t you dare!” – he breathed out.

“Don’t you even think about it!” – he said a bit firmer kneeling down in front of you. Grabbing your shoulders, he pulled you close to his chest for a hug. – “Find hope in the hopeless.” – he told you. – “I don’t know what made you do it, but please don’t. I don’t want to lose you… I don’t.” – he embraced you tighter fighting the urge to cry himself. – “Please Y/n…” – he whispered out as you started crying louder.

In the brink of almost doing it was Jerry there to pull you out. – “We’ll figure it out together. I am fighting for you, and I don’t want you to give up.” – wrapping your arms around him, you hugged back. – “Jerry…” – you cried out. Jerry simply held you, no needing an explanation. Just holding you. In that moment where he knew you needed to be seen, heard and loved.

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