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afaramir · 25 days

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I can't believe you've called me out like this. This fixation is literally your fault! (Not really, but you’ve made me worse!) Anyway while I'm here do you ever wonder about how Sauron is the one of the villains from Beren and Lúthien, and Denethor probably knew that story as a child? Then as he grows up he learns about his role in Númenor’s destruction, and how that links to Denethor’s own relation to his ancestors? Yet his response to this is that it's his duty and destiny to lead Gondor against him? Just "Yes, why else would I have been born than to mind-wrestle the evil demigod?" Gah why is he like this, I love it so much.

LOL im so glad you saw that post (ages ago now because i draft one of these and then pick away at it in my notes app during my commute for days and days) it really does bring me indescribable joy when you go through the tag though. this is a beautiful feedback loop i think because well you have also made me worse. i think about denethor has to either defeat thorongil or claim him for himself every day. and like. boromir can be boromir but faramir has to be denethor is just a sentence that lives in my mind. you know?? sometimes i think about going through your whole tag and reblogging all of it

ANYWAY YES!!! WHILE WE'RE HERE!!! GET IN LOSER WE'RE NOT LIVING PAST THE END OF OUR MYTH!!! we’re dying at the end because thats how the story goes!! everyone always dies at the end and so too shall i!! and YET i have been granted the powers wielded by my ancestors and i must take up the fight where they have failed, knowing how it ends, knowing how their fates haunt my dreams and the dreams of my son even after the passing of an age. i will take up the role in this narrative that has been written for me. i will take this sword with my eyes wide open, knowing fully about the one that hangs over my neck. i know i will fail and yet i shall try, not for hope not for glory but because it is my task and my destiny. Yeah… there’s this line from a fic i read once that goes “what is he but an improved repetition of his ancestors” which i believe was in reference to aragorn but like……..oughhh. the thought of “it is my duty and destiny to lead my country to war” feels like it’s inextricably tied in his mind to “it is my duty and destiny to die for my country” and like i just don’t know what to do with that!

hey wait a second im thinking about your denethor and ecthelion post again. do you think part of why denethor is Like That is that he has the numenorean powers where his father does not, he knows the lore of the palantir, he knows that he is the one person in all gondor who can vie against sauron directly. he will not take power where his father will not give it to him but i feel like maybe he does believe that he is ready and willing to take up his destiny and that ecthelion perhaps should step aside because he’s clearly less well suited for the task/it would be the dutiful thing to do, from a purely tactical/utilitarian standpoint.

you know for the whole length of this post i kept wanting to write that in some secret part of him he hoped to outrun the fates of his ancestors and the fates of all the heroes of legend - that in some part of him there was still blind hope, because to me it feels so impossible to go on and go on and lose everything and keep fighting without it. and maybe he did, maybe there was - i won’t know! but its crazy to think about the very real possibility that he had none of that. that he had completely excised the part of him capable of hope and replaced it with relentless grinding duty, and the knowledge that giving up is not a choice that he is given and thus he shall not. if he is the hero of his own myth he is destined to die at the end and he must simply continue on until that destiny finds him one day. god he’s so fucked in the head i love him so much.

#from the inbox #bretwalda-lamnguin #denethorposting #i switch point of view so often in these things its kind of ridiculous #anyway. Yeah. tfw u are doomed by the narrative and ur response to this is to go ha! gonna doom myself before it can get to me!#and not realize that u are playing right into its hands. god. crazy stuff for real

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aspoonofsugar · 3 years

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What is your opinion about the Maidens in RWBY and their importance?

Hello anon!

I like the Maidens and especially how they explore two main ideas:

1) The concept of cycles and generations.

2) The trope of the chosen one.

THE CYCLE OF SEASONS

I think it is clear Ozpin created the Maidens partly because he wanted guardians and partly as a way to grieve his four daughters. He has symbolically dragged them into the cycle with him and Salem.

In a sense, the story keeps repeating. Salem kills Ozpin, he is reborn and his daughters are victims of the conflict between them.

Because of this, the four Maidens have become one of the many symbols of this endless cycle, which is clealry breaking its protagonists more and more.

This is well conveyed by the Maidens having a season theme. Seasons are in fact linked to the repetition of time aka one of Ozpin’s motifs:

At the same time, the idea of an older woman passing the torch to a younger one can be easily read as a metaphor for a mother-daughter dynamic. This is not always the case, but so far this interpretation is important for two of our four Maidens:

Penny receiving the Maiden’s powers from Fria is important on multiple levels and it plays on Penny alluding to Pinocchio. Fria (The Blue Fairy) recognizes Penny as a real girl, something she has been struggling with since the beginning:

Penny: Ruby... I'm not a real girl.

And is still struggling with:

Cinder: I don’t serve anyone. And you wouldn’t either, if you were built that way.

That said, Penny is not only struggling with enemies that consider her a robot, but also with the (understandable) overprotectiveness of people who love her:

Pietro: I lost you before. Are you asking me to go through that again? No. No. I want the chance to watch you live your life.

Penny: But dad… I am trying to.

She is not only a robot, who wants to prove she is a real girl, but also a daughter, who wants to grow into her own person.

This idea is made even stronger by Penny having been “created” through Pietro’s aura. She is a part of Pietro becoming someone completely different and independent from him. Still, isn’t it what all children are?

Raven is instead Penny’s opposite since she is not a daughter, but a mother. Not only that, but she is a mother, who fails three times.

She fails her biological daughter Yang by abandoning her and putting her in danger.

She fails Vernal, who dies for her.

She fails the previous Spring Maiden, who clearly looked up to her and was betrayed:

Cinder: Vernal was a decoy the whole time. The last Spring Maiden must've trusted you a great deal before she died. I bet that was a mistake...

This is well conveyed by Raven’s case being the opposite of what should ideally happen. Normally an older Maiden should pass her power to a younger girl, so that the cycle keeps going and that a new generation can keep fighting for good. However, Raven steals the powers of the Maiden for herself, just like she uses her shape-shifting ability for selfish objectives:

Ozpin: Everyone has a choice. The Branwens chose to accept their powers and the responsibilities that came with them. And later, one of them chose to abandon her duties in favor of her own self-interest.

She presents herself as a mentor for young women, but in the end she is a failure because she is too self-centered.

In conclusion, Rwby is both a coming of age story and a story that deals with cycles. Let’s think about the many abusive cycles in the story or the damaging cycles present in society, for example. All these cycles need to be broken and I would not be surprised if this will be the case for the cycle of the Maidens as well.

THE CHOSEN ONES

Up until now, the person who should be a Maiden never becomes one.

a) Pyrrha was destined to be the Fall Maiden, but Cinder stole the power.

b) Vernal is foreshadowed to be the Spring Maiden, but Raven turns out to be the real one.

c) Winter has been preparing herself to inherit the Winter’s Maiden’s role, but Penny is the one chosen by Fria.

Why is that so?

The story is clearly playing with the idea of the “chosen one” and asking some questions.

Are people chosen by destiny:

Cinder: It’s unfortunate you were promised a power that was never truly yours.

Or do they choose it?

Red-Haired Woman: She understood that she had a responsibility… to try. I don’t think she would regret her choice, because a Huntress would understand that there really wasn’t a choice to make. And a Huntress is what she always wanted to be.

What if the chosen person is the wrong one?

Lionheart: She was determined, at first, when she inherited her powers, but the weight of responsibility proved to be too much for the child. She... ran. Abandoned her training, everyone. That was over a decade ago. There's no telling where she could be now.

Finally, is it even right to choose a person?

Weiss: Doesn't it bother you? He practically groomed your entire military career.

Winter: It did at first, when the General first proposed it to me. But the more I thought about it, the more I saw it as a privilege, a chance to do some real good for Atlas. For Remnant.

Weiss: But your destiny was chosen for you, without your input.

So far each Maiden has explored this concept in a different way. Moreover, the story has highlighted many problems with the method used by Ozpin and his allies to select their guardians.

First of all there is the machine used to transmit aura:

Ironwood: We've made... significant strides. And we believe we've found a way to capture it.

Qrow: Capture it and cram it into something else. (gestures to Pyrrha as she takes a second to realize what that means) Or in your case ...

Pyrrha: (to Ironwood) That's...

Ironwood: Classified.

Pyrrha: ... wrong!

This method has been presented in-universe as sketchy and unethical both for the person who is having her aura taken and for the person receiving it.

It is also interesting that this machine is basically the technological equivalent of the Grimm used by Salem and Cinder to steal the powers in the first place:

One is the product of destruction (The Brother’s Grimms), while the other is the result of creation (in-universe technology is linked to creation). However, they both do essentially the same thing. They steal another person’s aura and change the one absorbing it:

Raven: You turned yourself into a monster just for power.

Secondly, there is the fact that so far several Maidens have died or have been targeted in horrible ways.

Some of them were specifically attacked because young and less experienced than others, like Amber. Some others made their choice without truly understanding it, like the Spring Maiden. And some of them. like Pyrrha, were not even given all the elements to make an informed choice.

In short:

Hazel: You send children to their deaths for a cause that you know has no victory, no end!

It is true that Hazel is a hypocrite that feels anger for Ozpin sending students to their deaths only to be the one killing them. It is also true that he does not respect his sister’s choice:

Oscar: Did she know the risk of being a Huntress?

Hazel: She was only a child! She wasn't ready!!

Oscar: She made a choice! A choice to put others before herself! So do I.

However, the narrative harshly criticizes Ozpin for not giving people all the information, “the knowledge”, they need to make that choice:

Yang: There was so much you hadn't told us! How could you think that was okay?!

Finally, we arrive at the current volumes where we see how Ironwood has tried to control Penny, Winter and Fria aka all the three people involved in the passage of the Maidens powers...only to fail miserably.

And in this failure probably lies the true mistake which has been made over and over again. The whole point is that probably the whole cycle (thematically) can’t and should not be controlled to this extent:

Goodwitch: At first, the only thing that was certain was that the powers were specifically passed on to young women. But as time went on, it was discovered that the selection process was much more... intimate.

Pyrrha: ... Intimate?

Goodwitch: As we understand it now, when a Maiden dies, the one who is in her final thoughts is the first candidate to inherit her power.

The powers are passed from a person to another through emotions. It is not by chance that the last person in a Maiden’s mind is the one who gets the power. It is because the power is linked to emotions and to ties and you should not try to weaponize them.

MAIDENS AND RELICS

Finally each Maiden is clearly linked to the theme represented by her respective relic.

Pyrrha and Cinder are both linked to the idea of destiny and choosing. I have shared some thoughts on them here.

I would say that Cinder wants to be chosen. She wants to be special and to be given value. This is probably why she is serving Salem. It is because Salem has chosen her for an important role:

Salem: When I chose you as my vessel for the Maidens, I put my trust in you.

This is not positive. It is dehumanizing:

Salem: This game is not yours to win, Cinder, it’s mine. Just because you’re more valuable to me than a pawn, does not make you a player.

But Cinder sees this as a chance.

Pyrrha is instead a person, who chooses her own destiny:

Pyrrha: When I think of destiny, I don’t think of a predetermined fate you can’t escape. But rather… some sort of final goal, something you work towards your entire life.

In other words, Pyrrha has an active role in her own destiny, while Cinder so far has accepted it passively.

This might seem ironic because all in all Cinder has been a pretty active character. She was born as nothing and fought to free herself and to become more powerful. However, she is still leaving her own life in the hands of another person, who is specifically coded as an abusive mother-figure. It is probable that her arc will be about taking back the agency Salem is clearly stealing from her.

This might very well be why she is the Maiden of choice. It is because in the end she’ll make an active choice to get her own freedom back.

At the same time, Pyrrha being active in her choices still leads to her demise. This is because she represents a choice without knowledge, as I have stated in the meta linked above:

She had been explained only a fragment of the truth, while the whole point is that one should learn, meet creation and destruction and then make a choice. This is why we have yet to meet the relic of choice.

As a matter of fact it is clear that knowledge and choice are complementary, just like destruction and creation.

This is highlighted also by their respective relics. On one hand the Lamp offers knowledge of the past. On the other hand the Crown gives its user a vision of a future choice.

This is because one has to know the past to change the future:

Bartholomew Oobleck : History is important, gentlemen! If you can't learn from it... you're destined to repeat it.

In a sense, knowledge is the passive condition of choice, while choice is the active goal of knowledge.

This is why one needs both to contribute to the world in the most effective way possible. If one acts without knowledge they might make the wrong choice. At the same time, knowledge without choice is just passiveness, as shown in The Indecisive King fairy tale.

Too much knowledge might lead to indeciveness or even cynism. This is why Raven is the Spring Maiden. It is because she is Pyrrha’s opposite aka knowledge without choice:

Yang: Which is it, mom? Are you merciful, or are you a survivor? Did you let me walk into that trap because you knew I could handle it, or because it meant you could get what you wanted?!

Raven keeps making decisions only to run away from them immediately after. Knowledge did not make her braver, but just a coward.

Finally we arrive to Penny and the idea of creation.

I have mentioned Penny in the meta linked above:

Penny is an artificial human, a creation who was given life because her father loved her so much that he sacrificed a part of his aura for her… twice. She is at the centre of the theme of creation and it represents the good sides of it. She is a creation with a soul, a child, the fruit of parental love. It is because of the love she received that she is willing to protect creation.

Penny is at the centre of the theme of creation in two ways.

a) She is a child, who wants independence.

b) She is a good declination of technology.

On one hand children are new lives that join the world. They are the embodyment of creation.

On the other hand technology is an expression of human creation and a way humans have to change and influence reality.

Penny is both. She is Pietro’s girl and a robot with a soul:

Pietro: When the General first challenged us to find the next breakthrough in defense technology, most of my colleagues pursued more obvious choices. I was one of the few who believed in looking inward for inspiration.

Ruby: You wanted a protector with a soul.

Pietro: I did. And when General Ironwood saw her, he did too. Much to my surprise, the Penny Project was chosen over all the other proposals.

Ironwood choosing Pietro’s project over others is very interesting and ambiguous. Did he choose this project because at the time he understood the importance of “a protector with a soul”?

Probably consciously yes, but the way he has treated Penny since volume 2 suggests also something different. It suggests a desire of domination. The idea that putting a soul into a metallic body would make it easier to control it.

After all:

Ironwood: For the past few years, Atlas has been studying Aura from a more scientific standpoint; how it works, what's it made of, how it can be used. We've made... significant strides. And we believe we've found a way to capture it.

Each one of humanity’s gift has another side of itself. Knowledge can lead to fear and choice is linked to passivity/agency. When it comes to creation, this gift brings with itself the temptation of control.

Why shouldn’t a creator “own” theis creation? Why shouldn’t they be entitled to it? Why should they share it with the rest of the world?

If one looks at Ironwood, at Atlas and at the other protagonists of this volume this way, a lot of things resonate.

Atlas is the most technological advanced kingdom, but instead of sharing its resources it closes off. Ironwood’s embargo is just another declination of this same idea of losing control.

Similarly the Ace Ops and Winter are all repressing their emotions. They want perfect control over themselves. They are taught they should be like drones.

Technology itself is often misused by the characters. Technolofy should be like Penny. It should have humanity and a soul, but Ironwood likes it because he sees it as something logical that can be controlled (and of course he keeps losing control over it). Ironwood wants to become like he thinks Penny is aka a controllable soul. He fails to understand that Penny is special because she has her own free will.

Finally, this same desire of control is present also in familial relationship. It is not by chance that the Schnee Family is in Atlas. Weiss’s story has always been about exploring this specific idea of a family. A family, which is cold and controlling, just like ice. Weiss’s arc is about melting this ice, in herself first and now in others as well.

Technological control and the control of people. In short, the control over two aspects of creation. This is the the idea Atlas represents and this is why it is currently falling.

In short, the creation must be free and it is not by chance the world is in its current predicament because the Gods tried to control their creations with disastrous results.

CONCLUSION

These are my main thoughts on the Maidens so far. That said, they might chance since the story is far from over as the arcs of all the maidens we have met so far.

As a final note, I find interesting that so far none of our four protagonists is a Maiden. It is an interesting choice and I think that it lets the series make a good use of its ensemble cast.

That said, I wonder if our four protagonists will end up calling back the original Four Maidens instead.

The fairy tale is interesting on multiple levels.

In-universe, it is interesting because it tells us something about how Ozpin was probably inspired by the original Four Maidens to try to save the world again. Ozpin is inspired by four normal people, who are just trying their best to help others.

This is a recurring idea in Rwby and this might be why none of the four protagonists has been selected to be a Maiden yet.

If read as a stand-alone, the story is an interesting tale on how to overcome depression.

The story starts with the old man closed in his house and it shows how he progressively opens up until he himself is able to help others.

Winter is the one who teaches him how to work on his own interiority even when the world is cold.

Springs prepares the terrain for him to come out. It makes the garden more welcoming. It is like when a person has to find the right environment to open herself up.

Summer is the one who finally drags the man out and gives him energy.

Finally Fall is the one who makes the man realize he can now share his new found energy with others.

Theirs is a virtuous cycle and I would say it is very different of the tragic cycle that sees the current Maidens as protagonists. Who knows? Maybe it is about going back to that virtuosity.

Thank you for the ask!

#rwby #rwby meta #maidens #cinder fall #raven branwen #penny polendina #pyrrha nikos #asksfullofsugar #anonymous

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thebakingqueen5 · 3 years

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KW 2021: The Sea & The Sky

Day 7 for Kataang Week 2021 hosted by @kataang-week with the prompt The Sea & The Sky!

Don't mind me crying in the corner that Kataang Week is basically over, but anyways I'm super proud of this last oneshot and hope you all enjoy it!

Links: AO3 | FF.net

Summary: Another year, another, another week of prompts celebrating our favorite couple. Kataang Week 2021 Day 7: The Sea & The Sky. Katara was the sea, Aang was the sky, destined to meet at the horizon where they were bound together for all eternity.

Word Count: 1.7K (barely)

The sea and sky, two entities as old as time itself. In some ways, as contrasting as the night and day, and in others, perfect reflections of one another.

The sea has always been below the sky, left to gaze upon the brilliance of the celestial bodies embedded in it for all eternity and reflecting the light of the bright stars beyond.

The sky has always been above the sea, forever peering down into its depths for the miracles and mysteries hidden beneath, and guiding its steady waves as they crash upon the shores of the Earth.

The sea is the reason the azure sky is adorned with feathery white wisps floating high above the ground, and the sky, in turn, fills the oceans and floods the rivers with the very liquid that makes survival possible.

The sea fosters life beneath its steady, undulating surface. It holds flora and fauna of all shapes, colors, and sizes, and it was a point of fascination for the sky. The sky, in all its glory, could not sustain anything for long. Even the birds that rode over its swift breezes had to eventually land somewhere below. And yet, the sky was free, a vast expanse of space that extended beyond what the sea could ever imagine to be possible. It wasn’t shackled by the chains of the planet, and the sea almost envied it.

In the days of old, when sailors ruled the seas, the ocean and her gentle waves would push them across great stretches of nothingness, while the sky and his stars would aid in guiding them on their journeys. Without the sky, those explorers would be lost at sea, and without the sea, their ambitions would remain sky-high with their dreams of traveling the world doomed to remain just that- dreams.

The sea and the sky have always been connected. Together, they make a thriving world possible. And so it follows that those so closely bonded to their elements, Aang and Katara, would be similarly linked by the fabric of space and time.

Though he was the Avatar, Aang’s native element was that of air. He preferred to soar on his glider high above the clouds, and gravity was a laughable concept to him. True to his airbending disposition, Aang’s natural inclinations were to evade conflict and obstacles in order to move forward, like a leaf on the wind.

Katara was born in the Southern Water Tribe, surrounded by ice, glaciers, and the frigid seas of the South Pole. She wielded the element of water, adapting and accepting things as they came since water was the element of change. She would experience swells of emotion similar to the waves, but she always came down into a steady balance, an ebb and flow just like tides.

Aang and Katara were not each other’s antithesis, far from it actually, but rather each other’s complements. Had they been such stark opposites, their relationship would’ve been much more turbulent, having the highest of highs but also the lowest of lows. They needed not a sharp contrast but rather a soft blend to allow them to communicate with and learn from one another. It was this that allowed them to work so well.

When Katara was firm and unyielding like a tsunami approaching the shore, Aang accepted her stance and often strengthened it. Consequently, if the airbender was flighty and indecisive, Katara would be there to ground him and guide him to something he felt confident in.

Katara was Aang’s earthly tether. When his head drifted up into the clouds, she pulled him back to the real world and allowed him to guide the four nations into an era of peace and prosperity. On the other hand, Aang showed Katara true freedom and what being unrestrained felt like. He brought her up with him on his glider and taught her to defy nature’s laws, to not be afraid to take exhilarating risks, and to keep her ambitions sky-high.

Their worlds collided like the brilliance of colors created as the sun set over the horizon, gradually leaving the realm of the sky and sinking into the sea. Some of their traits reflected each other like the sun’s rays on the sparkling surface of the water, and the others melded together well to make the glorious gradient that streaked the sky as night fell. Together, Aang and Katara created a rich harmony filled with overtones that mirrored the depth of their connection.

When they first met, that instant link, the bond that tied them together, was remarkably evident to all those around them. It was absolutely undeniable.

Though Sokka had mostly been joking when he had called Aang Katara’s boyfriend, there were still some astute observations lying under his exaggerated comment. Sokka knew his sister. She didn’t take to people too well, he had noticed over the years. Katara was protective, almost overly so, of the people she loved, and it was hard for her to let people in.

And yet here was Aang, a boy whom she had quite literally taken into her open arms without so much as a blink of hesitation, a boy whom she was ready to leave her tribe, everything and everyone she had ever known, and travel across the world for. It seemed so out of character. Katara didn’t usually make sense to her brother, but this was something different, something special.

Even Gran Gran had taken notice of the unique energy between them. “Aang is the Avatar,” she had told the Water Tribe siblings. “He is the world's only chance. You both found him for a reason. Now your destinies are intertwined with his,” and she was right.

That day, Aang and Katara had forged a connection that wouldn’t, that couldn’t, ever be severed. Breaking him out of the iceberg had been the catalyst for the rest of their lives together. Their adventures following only served to deepen and strengthen that link, allowing them to fall wholly and completely for one another and experience a love they didn’t know was possible.

Visiting Aunt Wu was the first time Katara had really stopped to consider how far their bond went and the strength of her feelings for Aang. She knew they had something unique, something exceptional, but she hadn’t ever thought it could run that deep. “The man you’re going to marry… I can see that he is a very powerful bender.” It made sense, didn’t it? The boy who had changed her life for the better would grow to be the man that she would spend the rest of her life with.

Their kiss in the Cave of the Lovers only further cemented the idea in her head, and a part of her began to believe that their meeting was fate, just like the tale of Oma and Shu. Aang, while still reeling from embarrassment at some of his words (“I’m saying I’d rather kiss you than die, that’s a compliment!”), also began to have similar thoughts, thinking that maybe they too had parallels to the starcrossed lovers and that the love that they shared would one day too be immortalized in legend.

The battle in the catacombs underneath Ba Sing Se seemed like an all too abrupt end to their story. It simply didn’t feel real. How could their link just have been cut off like that? No, Katara wasn’t ready to accept it. She couldn’t accept it. It went against the laws of the universe, it wasn’t possible.

She was going to do whatever it took to keep him there with her, and she did. She brought Aang back from the spirit world through the purest of love, light, and determination, and she made it her duty to never let such a thing happen again.

It was what allowed them to fulfill their roles as the Avatar and his waterbending master at Sozin’s Comet and have their kiss afterward, the early buddings of a relationship that would last a lifetime. Years later, they would go on to pronounce that love to all their friends and family, but, for now, they were more than just their fates.

Just as Aang was able to manipulate water along with his primary element of air, the heavens held clouds in its vast expanse of sky, connecting it to the sea. The sea sent water up in the form of vapor to create those fluffy masses above, and the sky releases the water that the clouds hold in torrents of rain back down to the ground, tying the two together in an endless cycle.

Similarly, waterbending was one of the many things that bound Aang and Katara. It was the reason they had met, the reason Katara was able to break Aang out of that iceberg, and it was the reason they embarked on their epic journey to the North Pole- to learn from the masters and even become ones themselves.

Waterbending linked them as sifu and pupil, strengthening their bond. Without waterbending, Aang may have never realized that fateful day of her adjusting his form of the effect she had on him, the full intensity of the pull, the attraction she held in his eyes.

Waterbending had made Katara especially attuned to the rhythm of the waves rising and falling, and it didn’t long for her to notice how her and Aang’s dynamic reflected it, ebbing and flowing in a delicate yet harmonious balance.

Their meeting had been fate, an event necessary for the survival of the world itself, but that did not define them. With each other, they were not their destinies. They were not the Avatar and his waterbending master, nor were they the beacon of hope for the future of the Air Nation.

No, they were Aang and Katara, two people who had defied all odds, overcome all obstacles, and quite literally gone to the Spirit World and back all in the name of love. They were not the heroes who had saved the world, but soulmates, fated just as the sky and the sea were to meet at their own horizon. They were two people irreversibly linked to each other then, now, and till the end of time itself.

#kataang week #kataang week 2021 #kataangtag #kataang #kataang fanfic #the sea and the sky #aang #katara #aang x katara #atla fanfiction #soulmates #bc yes

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astrolovecosmos · 4 years

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The Nodes

The Nodes are most known for their association with karma and past lives. The Nodes connection to life purpose has been a popular translation too. However for those who do not believe in past lives this presents them with an area in astrology that they may cast aside and ignore. While the Nodes do have plenty of spiritual and abstract connections they also have more practical associations that don’t have to fit into a metaphysical realm. Let’s take a look at all the different ways the Nodes can be looked at.

What Exactly are the Nodes?

“The North and South Nodes indicate points in the zodiac where the plane of the Moon’s orbit intersects the plane of the ecliptic (a great circle on the celestial sphere representing the sun's apparent path during the year, so called because lunar and solar eclipses can occur only when the moon crosses it).” - Deborah Houlding. Because of this the Nodes can seem very abstract. They aren’t planets like Venus, Sun, or in astrology, the Moon. The North and South Node are opposite points in space. The Nodes move slowly backwards through the zodiac signs, as the Moon makes its journey around the earth, crossing the annual path of the Sun. The intersection points are the nodes.

Karma and Past Lives

“The North Node, the life path. The North Node is what must be done to fulfil the soul’s purpose. It is the life path, destiny or dharma. The South Node is the gateway to the past. The South Node symbolizes all that has gone before.” - Judy Hall. When talking about Karma or past lives I can’t skip over “The Moon Dragon”, to read more about this myth and its connection to the Nodes visit astro.com. For those who do not prescribe to beliefs about karma or past lives I suggest taking in this same information and applying it to earlier life and later life or connecting it back to life purpose. Another way to look at this is within some definitions of “shadow work”. Take this first part of the article I linked to for example:

“The engagement with the dragon is an allegory for the times in the individuation process when we wrestle with unsavory sides of the self, parts that we deny or keep secret but that have an uncanny knack for showing up anyway. Jungians call it the shadow, the Freudians’ nickname is the id; no matter what we call it, we prefer it to be unnamed. Whatever its name, the dragon struggle is a psychological truth and one that the ancients continuously scripted into their mythic epics.”

The South Node can be viewed as bad habits and challenges to leave behind without having to dig into a past life puzzle. The North Node can be looked at as opportunities to expand, discover, improve, and learn within one’s life.

Comfort Zone and The Unknown

Beyond life purpose and karmic lessons are other associations with the Nodes. The North Node can be looked at as places within yourself and within your life that are unknown and outside your comfort zone. The South Node can be viewed as what you are used to, your comfort zone, your programming. The South Node can actually show initial strengths - positive or strengths that we are comfortable with. It can show survival and habits. BUT there are plenty of flaws and weaknesses that we can easily get stuck in and find hard to change or move beyond that are connected to the South Node. The South Node can be about stagnation and what does not serve us. In most metaphors whether highly abstract and spiritual or practical and tangible - the South Node is looked at as a place to move away from. But the South Node is not bad. And at some points in life we may retreat to the comforts of the South Node to heal or to learn.

The North Node can indicate potential, strengths that one must learn and practice, it represents a journey forward, evolving or enlightenment, growth but also fear, anxiety, and discomfort that must be faced to grow.

Decisions and Direction

“The Hubers describe the North Node as being rather like a compass needle in its ability to find the right way to improve our character. If we are going through periods of confusion in life, the Node and its House positioning give the direction of the way ahead. In a sense, the meaning of the occupied House is the meaning of the Node, and this House will usually provide the right source of the next step that is important for this individual.” - The Cosmic Egg Timer

While this ties back into life purpose, it is important to remember that “purpose” is all about what decisions we make and the direction we take. The Nodes can provide guidance on this and in a way fit into predictive astrology. The Nodes can also give clues to challenges one may face in life towards breaking out of their comfort zone and challenges about growth towards success and fulfillment. It shows what decisions you may make because of your initial reaction to things and decisions that might be hard for you to make because they are unfamiliar.

It’s About the Journey

I’ve noticed many people approach the North Node with grandioseness and many times forget about the South Node altogether. They work off each other and can only exist if the other does. While one’s life purpose should be grand to you personally whether it be to help others or maybe to learn how to deal with change, but I think many are looking for something very concrete and specific and sometimes I’ve noticed many people approach the North Node with their ego or as if it is meant to show an area of self importance in the world.

And YOU ARE IMPORTANT! But be careful of letting the ego take control because the Nodes ARE NOT where the ego hangs out, at least in terms of the negative side of our ego like selfishness and arrogance.

While the North Node can give you themes and clues about your “purpose” know that life is not always linear and even in older text or when many well-established astrologers talk about the Nodes it is referenced as a cycle or that it is all about the journey of growth rather than where that growth takes you.

#north node #south node #nodes #the moons nodes #true node #mean mode #astrology #zodiac #the nodes #karma #past lives #comfort zone

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theonceandfutureking6481 · 3 years

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BBC's Merlin Season 1 Episode 3: The Mark of Nimue Analysis

*SPOILERS FOR THE WHOLE SHOW*

First off I always look fondly on this episode, mainly for Morgana being hilarious and epic, I mean she has the best line in the whole episode:

Arthur: You could get hurt

Morgana: So could you.... if you don't get out of my way

This episode is also fun and interesting from the perspectives of plot, characters and themes. Sorry, this is extremely long, I have a lot of opinions about Merlin.

Gwen and Merlin

This episode is in many ways about Gwen and Merlin's friendship, it is the driving force behind all of Merlin's actions within this episode and is the stepping stone for this show considering how to find a balance between acting for the greater good without suggesting that the ends justify the means.

Merlin and Gwen are first off just very sweet, their friendship is really characteristic of this show's representation of friendship overall, just genuine love and consideration for others. It is also self-sacrificing, that's one thing about the relationships in this show they are so self-sacrificing.

When Merlin says to Gwen "I didn't like to see you upset." It reveals a wonderful fact of Merlin's characterisation that I would argue stays consistent for the whole show. His motivation is always grounded in how much he cares for the people around him. He cares deeply about his friends and they are largely his reason for doing the things he does. This line is a wonderful parallel to in season 3 when Merlin decides to let Morgana die (after he accidentally trips her down the stairs), but then in the end he heals her because he couldn't watch everyone's grief. Merlin cannot separate his actions from the people he's doing them for, and he can't stand to see people hurt when he has the power to fix it because the people he loves are his motivation, they are the reason he wants a better world. This show does establish (as I'll discuss further down) that what seems immediately right (healing Gwen's father etc) isn't necessarily the right decision to make for the greater good. This is some ways always questions the validity of Merlin's motivations and his actions, but I'd argue it more seeks to find a balance. Besides a Merlin who didn't act motivated by his love for others is not a Merlin that could have helped Arthur build Camelot.

Medievalism: duty and social obligation

Quick disclaimer cause I'm touching on a more scholarly issue here that I have limited knowledge of, so I will undoubtedly make mistakes and this is my opinion. Everything I write is my opinion, but that's more obvious when I'm commenting on the themes of a fictional world rather than making a comment on actual fields of study which is what I'm doing here.

BBC's Merlin is an example of medievalism, it is an engagement with the medieval era (or ideas/images associated with it) for modern times. I honestly don't know that much about medievalism, or the medieval era, certainly not enough to make an extensive commentary on its representation in Merlin. One thing I would argue is that Merlin's representation of friendship has its roots in idealised views of the virtues of the medieval era. For many people the Middle Ages represents a time of duty and social obligation, this on one hand does lead to a stringent class divide but it also finds its idealisation in the sort of friendship represented by Merlin. The premise in most societies that place great value on social obligation is that the needs of the community outweigh the needs of the individual, that people should sacrifice themselves for the community as a whole. Every society places emphasis on this in different ways and to greater or lesser extents and our view of it as being prevalent in the medieval era is largely an idealisation based in some historical reality but also our own desires about what this era represents. There is a kind of social responsibility in the relationships in Merlin, there is a great emphasis on loyalty which is part of this idealisation. However, Merlin makes it more personal than is often depicted. We idealise social responsibility and obligation, it is often tied into the social roles of people such as loyalty to a king, or paying back debts of honour which is a form of social obligation. Merlin is more about friendship, it takes our idealisation of medieval social obligation and makes it the obligation and loyalty we owe to people who love us and who we love. I will always say that fundamentally Merlin as a show is about love, and it emphasises what we owe to people in our lives in a way I believe echoes idealisation of medieval loyalty.

This idea can also be seen in Arthur's fundamental trust of others, his fundamental assumption that everyone around him is not seeking to harm him, and that people are generally good. This ties a bit into the idea of social obligation. Arthur's idealised world is one in which people have bonds of social obligation towards each other, that people are seeking to act in the interests of the community. It's an idealisation, both of the medieval era but also an idealisation in Arthur's own head of the world he lives in.

Morgana and Gwen

Their relationship is somewhat expanded on in this episode, and they are just so sweet. Gwen gives Morgana flowers to cheer her up and its just lovely. They have a very genuine and close relationship. Morgana also has great respect for Gwen, for the work she does, and she treats her with respect.

Morgana: "If she was a sorceress, why would she kneel on the cold stone floor every morning if she could make these things happen with a snap of her fingers, like an idle king."

Aside from being one of Morgana's many quality burns towards Uther, this also illustrates one of her greatest characteristics, her empathy and genuine respect and admiration for what Gwen does everyday. She doesn't see the class divide in the same way Uther sees it or Arthur pretends to see it.

Also interesting note I heard in a Merlin podcast (I can't remember which episode), it could have been the episode about this episode. It's called Destiny and Chicken (you can listen to it on Spotify and anywhere else you find podcasts- they even did an interview of Bradley James who plays Arthur at one point), and its very good. But, they said something interesting about the paralleling between the relationship between Merlin and Arthur and the relationship between Morgana and Gwen. Both are fundamentally important and genuinely caring relationships for the character. However, for Morgana and Gwen (unlike Merlin and Arthur) the class divide remains much more in place, Gwen treats Morgana like her friend but she also treats her like her mistress in a way Merlin just doesn't with Arthur (especially not so early in the show when he's not so admiring of Arthur). This isn't to say their relationship is bad or has problems, its just different whilst still acting as a parallel. I'm not sure exactly the extent to which I agree or what this says overall in themes but its definitely interesting to think about.

Uther: "A Good and Terrible King."

This episode shows Uther at both his best and his worst which is always fun because Uther is a genuinely interesting character. I got the line from my favourite Merlin fanfiction Coronation by rageprufrock, which you should definitely read, I'll link it down the bottom, it's not too long so you can read it in half an hour. It's a character study of Arthur more than anything else and its amazing, wonderful and deeply poetic. Uther is not a huge part of this fanfic, its about Arthur's character and his relationship with Merlin and his kingdom, I'm not even sure he actually appears. This line though perfectly tapped into how I always felt about Uther so it connected:

"He's been a good and terrible father, a good and terrible king."

I often think in characterising Uther we do tend to villainise him to an extent which I personally don't find accurate. This is obviously just my opinion, and I have a tendency to think the best of people so more intensely negative views of Uther are very jarring for me. He did terrible things and I truly believe he is the ultimate villain of the show but he is very human and he could be a good king and he loved his children more than anything else. We cheapen Merlin's point if we cast Uther as pure evil, everyone is capable of evil just as much as goodness. Uther is the tragedy (like Morgana) of a person who could have been good or at least halfway decent corrupted and destroyed by his own hate and ignorance. That's the point of the parallels between Uther and Morgana, we love Morgana and she was capable of so much good, but she corrupted herself with hate.

Onto this episode, Uther shows both his capability and goodness as a king in this episode as well as his hatred and ignorance. Uther's initial reaction to the fact that the plague is caused by magic is a concern about his own authority, which isn't entirely unfounded, but does reveal a huge priority of his which is control. He fears not being able to control, that's were his cruelty as a father comes from and to some extent his opposition to magic. This does not show Uther in the best light, but his actions later in regards to dealing with the plague show a decent king who cares about his people. This scene in which he tells Arthur to shut off the lower town perfectly illustrates this:

Arthur: But what about the people who live there

Uther: Don't you think I haven't considered it? What else can I do? I have to protect the rest of the city

In this situation Uther is right, there is very little other choice, he's making a hard call but it's one he has to make, and he seems genuinely distressed at having to make it. He does care about his people's well being, and he feels the burden of their protection, he can be a good King. Much of Arthur's story is in breaking away from the legacy of Uther, and rightly so, but Uther also taught him many things and one of those things is the duty Arthur has towards his people, it's a duty he takes even more seriously than Uther, but nonetheless he learnt it from him.

This however, as I've hinted, is not the whole story of this episode, Uther is also shown at his worst, and his worst is his ignorance and prejudice towards magic. He is willing to sacrifice justice and even sacrifices logical thought to his blind persistence that magic is evil.

Arthur: She's right Father. You hear the word magic you no longer listen.

Uther: You saw it for yourself, she used enchantments.

Arthur: Yes, maybe. To save her dying father, that doesn't make her guilty of creating a plague. One's the act of kindness, of love, the other of evil. I don't believe evil's in this girl's heart

Aside from what this says about Arthur. Arthur's comment about Uther hits right to the point of things "you hear the word magic you no longer listen". You no longer listen implies its a choice, and it is. Uther has made the choice for the last 20 years to choose to go on a dogmatic campaign of hate against magic because its easier than considering the alternative, that he was complicit in his wife's death. What Uther says immediately after "there are dark forces threatening this kingdom." is the argument used by so many people throughout history, used to justify so much hate. That there is an evil out there threatening the stability of life, that the world must be controlled and people have to live a certain way or risk destroying their own lives. It's an argument that justifies campaigns of hate and makes them personal to ordinary people who usually wouldn't care, and it is always a lie, that's not how the world works.

This episode thus shows Uther at his best and his worst, both a dutiful king and a stubborn tyrant. It's a tragedy of what he could of been, and shows how twisted up people can become when they justify their decisions with hate and fear.

Arthur

This is the first episode where Arthur really opposes Uther, he directly questions Uther's indiscriminate hatred of magic, and an episode where he realises to an extent he perhaps hadn't before some of the ways in which Uther has failed as a king. He also consciously acts in deception of Uther, because he can see Uther can't see sense. Arthur shows far more nuance of view than Uther does, understanding (even whilst still accepting as he will for a long time that magic is dangerous and it corrupts) that using magic doesn't make you automatically evil. To see the world the way Uther does is a conscious choice, you have to choose to be blind to the virtues of every apparent magic user you come across, you have to believe harmless spells are the signs of greater evil. Arthur is not someone who lets his own cowardice blind himself to reality, and so his worldview can see far more nuance than Uther can.

"One's the act of kindness, of love, the other of evil. I don't believe evil's in this girl's heart."

He further has a very positive view of others, Arthur will always see the good in people and that is a great strength in my view. In a lot of versions of the story Arthur's not just inspiring because he's good but because he assumes others are good too, he trusts people to do the right thing and I do believe that, that can inspire people to do the right thing. It's funny in Merlin Arthur's trust gets betrayed so many times but it never really hardens his heart, he continues to trust people no matter how many times he gets betrayed. This can be seen in his perception of Guinevere here, he will not assume she is evil because she has made a mistake, he can see the virtue in her actions, and he will assume goodness until proven otherwise. Innocent until proven guilty, in other words. It's its own form of justice, a justice Uther is forgetting, its a tenant of many legal systems and its a tenant Arthur clearly supports.

Arthur is also seeing his role as the king of Camelot in creating a Camelot that he would like to live in.

"Yes I am yet to be king, and I don't know what type of king I will be. But I do have a sense of the type of Camelot I would wish to live in. It would be where the punishment fits the crime."

It's not the Camelot he would wish to rule, its the Camelot he would wish to live in. Arthur wants to live in a just world, he wants his people to be treated with justice just as he would like to be treated with justice. This further illustrates that unlike Uther he is not letting anger or ignorance blind him to reality, he wants the world he lives in to be fair without exception.

Finding the Balance between The Greater Good and The Immediate Good

The Greater Good is a tricky concept, you can justify any amount of cruelty if it will lead to good later on, but do the ends justify the means? It's not really a question its ever possible to provide a definitive answer for. It's easy to say that they don't, that you should just do the right thing, the nice thing, the good thing in the moment but actions have consequences and doing the good thing all the time (especially in a position where thousands of lives depend on you) is not usually possible. Merlin tackles this theme, I believe, quite well, trying to find a balance between acting for the greater good and acting with what is immediately good, and this episode is a good example.

In a just and fair world you would be able to do good all the time, but this is not the case for everything, though you should never use the worlds not fair as an argument for not doing good things but I digress. Merlin's decision to save Gwen's father ultimately backfires on Gwen because the world is not fair, the world Uther has created mean even these acts of love are punishable with death. Because, for Uther, magic is magic, and magic is evil. Gaius was, in this situation, ultimately right, Merlin can't always do what is easy and what feels right because the consequences may not be good. In other matters like closing off the lower town, Arthur's initial response is concern for the people who live their, but Uther's right he has to make this one tough decision because otherwise he risks the whole city.

However, Uther's attitude to Gwen (aside from revealing his own stubbornness and prejudice) is an example of the greater good taken too far. He has absolutely no evidence that killing Gwen will stop this plague, but he's making that sacrifice anyway because it might, that is not justice or fair or anything resembling goodness. And he justifies his decisions with what I've already said is an age old argument- "These decisions must be made. There are dark forces threatening this kingdom." This is just another version of any easy choice, acting without regard to the greater good is an easy choice but so is ignoring what is immediately right in pursuit of some ambiguous goodness. He's confusing his own weakness and ignorance for strength.

The point Merlin is, I believe trying to make is that there must be a balance. Sometimes you have to pursue the greater good, but the ends don't really justify the means.

There is a reason Arthur and Merlin will create the Camelot of legend and Uther and Gaius don't, Merlin and Arthur aren't going to sacrifice their own goodness for the sake of the greater good. Merlin for one ensures Arthur never has to, its sad but Merlin in many ways makes the harsh and cruel decisions that Arthur never has to make. However, he also often doesn't make those decisions. He reaches a point where he wants to let people die, but he never actively attempts to kill Morgana or Mordred by himself unless it is an absolute in the moment choice between them and Arthur, and even though there is plenty of moral ambiguity about that and plenty of debates you can have about that. Fundamentally the point remains, Uther would have killed them and that's why he could never be the king Arthur would be or the influence for decency Merlin would be, the ends don't ever entirely justify the means. Besides if Merlin had thought that and killed Mordred and Morgana for their possible futures he would not have been the decent person he was and he could not have helped Arthur build a good Camelot, Camelot would not have existed if Merlin had acted entirely with the greater good in mind to ensure Camelot's future.

Other Stuff

Gwen's scene in the cell is so terribly sad, she's trying to be brave and her final request to Merlin is just so sad, "Remember me." She's so young and its the injustice and cruelty of Uther's kingdom that's condemning her, his own blindness to anything involving magic. We all want to be remembered don't we, especially when you die so young that you've barely had the chance to live. -----Also Guinevere will be remembered, she is a legend so there's something very bittersweet in this. She is not forgotten, then or ever

It's funny watching back to season 1, Merlin spends a lot of the time complaining about how Arthur will never recognise him for who he is. He wants recognition. But by the end of the show, yes of course he'd like recognition but he's learnt to just put up with never getting it. His priorities have changed so much.

There's this thing that happens a lot in season 1 and 2 (and I think a bit in season 3 but its less funny then) where Morgana persuades Arthur to do things by insulting him and its the funniest thing ever, and the first instance of it is here. I like to call these her 'epic sibling powers' cause they are just such siblings and its hilarious every time

"You are one side of the coin, Arthur is the other."- Kilgaharrah--> Just, yes.

Also when Arthur gets Merlin out of when Merlin confesses to being a sorcerer—> he's obviously making stuff up on the spot—> like he might sort of believe it (the stuff about Gwen) but fundamentally he's just trying to protect him without really knowing for sure why Merlin's lying

"One day people won't believe what an idiot you were."- Gaius--> Fun little nod to the audience who know Merlin of legend (as nothing like the BBC Merlin)

Also at this point we don't know why Uther really banned magic so there is an element of moral greyness to it all. We know magic's not evil, we know Uther went too far but at this point there is still a question about 'how too far' did he go?

Coronation by Rageprufrock (seriously read it. It's amazing): https://archiveofourown.org/works/5749

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panharmonium · 4 years

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@once-and-future-gay asked:

how do you think will would react to how merlin treats mordred were he alive??

Okay, I LOVE this question.

And my honest answer to it is that I think if Will were alive, things would never have gotten to a point where Merlin felt like he needed to treat Mordred like that in the first place.

(more details under the cut, because this got long!)

The reasons why Merlin ends up in a place where he is able to make those kinds of cold decisions about Mordred are obviously super complex. But in the end, I think most of it comes back to the fact that by Season 5, Merlin has come to see himself as a tool. The ultimate fallout of Merlin being constantly told about his role in Arthur's life is that he comes to see himself as an instrument of destiny, not a person in his own right. His life isn't his own. He has no inherent worth, no inherent self, just a purpose to fulfill. His life was always earmarked for someone else. His value, in his own mind, is inextricably tied up with whether or not he can succeed in his mission. He doesn’t think he is allowed to have more than that. He doesn’t think he deserves to have more than that, frankly - every time he tries, something terrible happens.

This isn’t the case, earlier in the show. In the early days, Merlin still has hopes and dreams for himself. He still longs for a day where he can be known for who and what he is. He still chafes at having to hide. He still thinks he deserves better than what he has. He's still invested in his own life, as a person who is worth something just by virtue of existing. But as time goes on, those feelings start to slip away. He's still fighting, but for other people, not himself. He stops asking Gaius, "When do I get to reveal myself?" He doesn't expect that to ever happen now. He starts defining his worth as how well he can fulfill his “destiny,” and stops seeing himself as a person in his own right. He's been told so many times that his life belongs to someone else - that his only reason for living is to serve a higher purpose - that he now believes it. And that makes him more willing to do things (in service of that destiny) that he would have balked at when he was younger, before he lost his sense of selfhood, before he became just a tool to ensure that events unfolded as they were “supposed” to.

In the earlier seasons, we see Merlin defy Kilgharrah's directives on multiple occasions. He saves Mordred. He forces Kilgharrah to teach him how to heal Morgana, even after she's been revealed to be a traitor. He's not yet willing to do things he feels uncomfortable about to bring about “destiny.” He still thinks things can be better than that. But as time goes on (read: after Will dies, and especially once Lancelot is also dead) Merlin becomes so isolated from anything that isn’t The Mission. He has no “real” friends anymore. Which, as I've discussed before, isn't to say that he doesn't have meaningful, caring relationships with other people, just that every one of those relationships is, for him, undergirded by the knowledge that the friendship is conditional - aka, “if they actually knew me, they would hate me.” He has nobody to meet his most elemental need for connection - to be seen and loved for who he is - and by the later seasons, Merlin has been deprived of that kind of care for so long that he just stops trying to find it anywhere anymore. Every time he has had somebody to love him like that, it has gone horribly, terribly wrong, and by the time we reach S5, Merlin just feels like it's better for everyone if he stops feeling these "selfish" desires for real companionship and just focuses on the job he's meant to do, no matter how painful it is for him. It doesn't matter if he's miserable, as long as he's be able to bring about the better world that has been promised.

Lancelot is able to serve as a buffer against this, briefly, while he’s alive. His presence is a huge part of why Merlin is so happy in the S4 opener. Finally, Merlin has a friend to know him, to share his burdens, and everything is changing for the better. Arthur is basically running the kingdom, and it's only a matter of time before he actually becomes king. Traditions are already changing, by Arthur's command - now Camelot's most respected knights are commoners! The Crown Prince is publicly courting a servant! This is a moment where Merlin really feels that the moment he has been waiting for is right around the corner. He thinks they're almost there. He has so much hope, at the beginning of Season 4.

And then Lancelot dies - for Arthur - and everything starts spiraling. Lancelot dies on the altar of Merlin's destiny the same way Will does, and that breaks something in Merlin. He stops trying to make things better for himself. “Destiny” is going to take everything from him anyway. He gives up and accepts that the only worthwhile thing he can actually do with his life is to make sure that Arthur lives to create the better world that has been promised, and that he himself is always going to be alone.

And then Merlin is alone, for the next three years. And that's who he is when we meet him in S5 - disillusioned, desperately isolated, all of his personal needs subsumed for far too long. The only thing keeping him afloat is his mission, and he will do anything to make sure it succeeds, now, because if he starts doubting it, then that means that everything terrible that has happened has been for nothing.

And this is really why I feel that having Will around would change things, to a degree where I honestly can't imagine we'd ever wind up in a position where Merlin would have been self-abnegating like this for years, or would have allowed Kara's execution or told Arthur to reject magic just to ensure that Mordred would die (TO BE CLEAR - I'm not putting the blame on Merlin for what Arthur decides to do in 5.05. Arthur's a grown man; he's seen enough to have more nuanced opinions on sorcery by now).

Will is just....I know he was only in the show briefly, but his presence in Merlin's life was so much more important than that one episode, and his ABSENCE is more disastrous than is made apparent on the surface of things. Will is Merlin’s anchor. He gives Merlin something that Merlin cannot access from anybody else, Lancelot included. He is the only person in Merlin’s orbit who is not somehow connected/beholden to Arthur and Camelot. All of Merlin's other friends become knights, or become queen, or are deeply invested in Merlin's destiny and the emergence of Albion (eg, Gaius). Every single relationship Merlin has is with people who are committed to Arthur and Camelot in the same way that Merlin himself is. He has nobody to tell him “this is wrong; you're sacrificing too much,” because everyone he knows is on the same page as him. All of his companions are sworn to die for the realm. Will is the only person whose existence reminds Merlin “you mattered BEFORE you went to Camelot and got this magical homework assignment from the gods. You were just as much of a person back then.”

Will is the only friend Merlin has who links him back to his original self, who connects him to who he was before destiny buried its hooks into him. Merlin in S5 has been so alone and so put upon for so long that he believes his only purpose in life is to be an implement of destiny, but Will, if he were alive, would throw a fit every time Merlin started saying things like “his life is worth a hundred of mine” or “I was born to serve [Arthur].” Merlin might think he's a tool and that his life doesn't matter outside of its ability to usher in the new world, but Will wouldn’t tolerate that attitude. Will would tell him you are NOT a tool; you are a person, one who likes to read and whose favorite fruit is apples and who gets the hiccups when he eats too fast. You don't have to do everything somebody tells you to just because they told you to do it. That's the kind of wrong-headed thinking that got my father killed.

Will would never let Merlin arrive at a spot where Merlin felt like his life and his principles were disposable or worthless in comparison to the success of the “mission.” And Will would never let Merlin get away with doing questionable things in the name of keeping Arthur alive, either. Will, in canon, is the person who serves as Merlin's moral compass - in 1.10, Will is the one who's telling Merlin “it is WRONG for you to consider letting all of these people die in order to keep your secret safe.” Even Merlin's own mother won't tell him that - when she realizes that Merlin is planning to use his magic to help during the battle, she tells him not to do it, despite the fact that there is literally no way the village can defeat Kanen without Merlin's help. She advocates for Merlin to protect his own secrets, even at the expense of other people's lives.

Will, though. Will refuses to compromise. Will wants Merlin to be safe, too, but not at the expense of what makes Merlin who he is. Will KNOWS that sacrificing others for the sake of his secret isn't what Merlin really wants to do. Will knows Merlin is better than that. He tells Merlin to smarten up. He tells Merlin to do the right thing.

So like - having Will alive would change things for the following two reasons: 1) Will, in canon, is the person who tells Merlin “you deserve better than this,” and 2) Will, in canon, is also the person who tells Merlin “you ARE better than this. you can do better than this.” I don’t think Merlin would have made the same choices with Mordred if Will had been present for the previous five seasons, because Merlin would never have fallen so far into the “i don’t remember who i used to be and i can only see one purpose for my life now” hole. Will would not have let him get to that place.

Possibly more importantly - I honestly think if Will were alive, we might never have ended up in a position where Merlin had to make choices like that about Mordred in the first place. Will living would change the entire story. Now Arthur doesn’t just get to sweep the whole “oh man an Evil Sorcerer died/almost died saving my life; that really challenges my worldview; hope I don't have to think about it too hard” issue under the rug, like he does in canon. He’d have to be confronted with that continuously, every day. And he would not be able to just project his anti-sorcery beliefs onto Merlin like he does in canon, either - he would know that Merlin's best friend is a sorcerer, and that Merlin continues to stand by said sorcerer even after the sorcery itself has been revealed.

In canon, Arthur and Merlin avoid this topic forever, and I think Arthur honestly tries to forget it ever happened, because it's easier for him and makes him less uncomfortable, but if Will had lived, they would have been forced to deal with that friction every day, and Arthur would have been constantly confronted by the cognitive dissonance of “sorcery is supposedly evil, but how can it be, when this guy so obviously is not?”

Will being alive would mean Arthur had to confront his prejudices sooner, because a) I fully believe alive!Will would have eventually followed Merlin anywhere, even to Camelot, and b) once he was there, Will would absolutely have kept up the pretense of being a sorcerer. He would never have allowed Merlin to be endangered by him abandoning the ruse. So Arthur would have had to deal with that, and honestly, I’m not sure Camelot’s policies on magic wouldn’t have already changed by the time Mordred showed up again, in this timeline.

There’s one other thing that I want to be clear about when it comes to any question that deals with Merlin’s interactions with Mordred (or many of Merlin’s late-season decisions, to be honest).

The way Merlin ends up dealing with Mordred is obviously something that we all are watching the screen being like "IF YOU WOULD JUST BE NICER TO HIM EVERYTHING WOULD BE OKAY." Even before I finished Season 5, I typed up my thoughts/worries/predictions, and I said that I was concerned Merlin's behavior was going to be the thing that ultimately created the exact future with Mordred that he was trying to prevent. We all know it's a messed up situation.

But I also personally find it absolutely imperative to recognize the unique situation Merlin is in, and that Merlin doesn't react this way to Mordred just for the hell of it, or even because he wants to.

This is something I want to make sure I address, because when talking about the potential for alive!Will to have changed Merlin’s behavior, it’s too easy for the discussion to be framed like “Will would be able to stop Merlin from doing all those stupid/irrational things, like mistrusting Mordred,” and it’s also VERY easy for the discussion to slide into, “Everything that happens at the end of BBC Merlin happens because Merlin was so consumed by how much he cared for Arthur that he was willing to sacrifice everything to keep Arthur alive (and perhaps Will could have snapped him out of it).” But I want to be very careful not to give either of those impressions.

There are two things that I am dead set on remembering when I think about any and all of the decisions Merlin makes, including his decisions about Mordred: first, that Merlin does not suspect/reject Mordred (or support/protect Arthur) in a vacuum. And second, that he doesn't do either of these things solely on Kilgharrah's advice, either.

Merlin, on a personal level, does not want to be in conflict with Mordred. He still relates to Mordred as kin, even at the beginning of the Disir (“It won’t always be like this. One day we will live in freedom again.”) He LIKES Mordred, even, he tells Gaius. But when he says so, he expresses it like this: “I like him myself - but I can't ignore what I saw.”

To get into this in a little more detail - why does Merlin struggle with Mordred in the first place? Because he's been shown that Mordred is going to be instrumental in Arthur's death. And why is Merlin fixated on preventing Arthur's death? Because Merlin has been told, by multiple magical and/or godly powers, that Arthur is the key to establishing peace in Albion and returning magic to the land.

This is a non-negotiable point for me when I read things about Merlin's decision-making. I've written plenty myself about the messed-up place Merlin gets into in S5, where keeping Arthur alive at all costs has overridden every other aspect of his better judgment, but it is ESSENTIAL to me that we recognize that this is not something that happens solely because Merlin has a personal attachment to Arthur. He does care deeply about Arthur, obviously; he loves him - but that is NOT why Merlin in S5 is slipping into the murky waters of “save Arthur no matter what, even if it means doing things that go against my conscience.” His decision in the Disir - any decision he makes about Mordred, quite frankly - is not made because of a selfish, personal desire to keep Arthur alive. It is made because Merlin has been told, repeatedly, from all corners of the magical world, that keeping Arthur alive is the only way to establish peace in the world and liberate magic. And thus, by the time S5 rolls around, Merlin will do anything to achieve this, even things that seem on the surface to be working against these goals. He does not make his decisions because he is choosing Arthur OVER his people's liberation, but because he has been told that choosing Arthur IS the way to his people's liberation.

Merlin does not develop his obsessive fixation on keeping Arthur alive because his personal attachment to Arthur becomes so strong that he's willing to just let the rest of the world burn. He develops it because he has been told that Arthur is the key to creating a world where all people can be free. And it is ESSENTIAL to recognize that Merlin is not foolish for believing this, either. He isn't just listening to some random dragon spout nonsense at him. He has literal gods speaking to him, calling him by the name the Druids gave him and telling him his “time among men is not yet over”; he still has work to do. Druid prophets show him the future (Mordred killing Arthur) and urge him to “alter the never-ending circle of [Arthur's] fate.” Alator recognizes the legend Gaius speaks of as true and immediately offers Merlin his support. Bendrui like Finna (aka the remnants of Morgana's own sect, the High Priestesses) offer Merlin the assistance of further prophecies and tell him “without you, Emrys, Arthur cannot build the world we all long for.” The Catha pass on “ancient knowledge” about Arthur's fate that they've guarded for hundreds of years, in the hopes that it will help Merlin save Arthur’s life. The Fisher King recognizes Merlin as Emrys and tells him “I have been waiting all these years for the arrival of a new time: the time of the Once and Future King” - and then he gives Merlin the means to enable Arthur's victory in the S3 finale.

It's not just Kilgharrah telling Merlin about Arthur's destiny. It's the wider magical world - and bits of the divine world, too. Merlin is not stupid, gullible, or deluded to believe that Arthur's role in the prophesied future is true. It IS supposed to be true, in the Merlin BBC-verse. (And, once again, this is why the finale is, narratively speaking, garbage. But that's a topic for another day.)

All of that said - the fact that Merlin has legitimate reasons to believe what he believes and fight for Arthur's survival does not mean that every single sacrifice he makes in the name of achieving that goal is necessarily the only way he could go about things, and that, I think, is where Will being alive would have made a difference. Will, who loves Merlin more than life itself but does not care about Arthur or Camelot at all, would be a counterbalance to all the messaging Merlin receives about “destiny and Arthur over everything.” Will would have pulled Merlin back from the brink, with his stubbornly honest, “All right, so you have to do this, but not like this. Listen to yourself. This isn't you. This isn't the you I know.”

I don’t think anyone else could have done that for Merlin. Even at the very end of the show, after Merlin has been in Camelot for years, Will is still the longest-running relationship Merlin has ever had (excepting his mother, of course). Will is the only relationship Merlin has that both predates Camelot and isn’t even slightly concerned with Arthur Pendragon’s well-being. Will is the only one who isn’t beholden to Arthur or sworn to serve Camelot. Will is the only person who cares about Merlin instead of Arthur, not along with Arthur. Merlin has other people who love him, yes, definitely, but Will is the only one who says, “You, over everything else. You are the only thing on the map for me.”

The part Will played in Merlin’s life is not something that could be performed by somebody else. That loss is a hole that cannot be filled, even by other people who know Merlin’s secret. The history is unique. Merlin can’t just grow up again with someone else. Will was irreplaceable; the role he fulfilled in Merlin’s world was singular. Without his influence, Merlin is perpetually off-kilter.

Merlin needed someone like that in his life. He needed somebody to balance out the perpetual focus on Arthur+Destiny, which all of his other relationships encouraged, to varying degrees. The perpetual focus on Arthur+Destiny is what ultimately led Merlin to make the kind of decisions that he made with Mordred, but if Will had been around to push back on that, then I can’t imagine that things would have unfolded in the same way.

#very long answer for a short question i know #you can see why this would not fit in the message box #XD #thank you so much for asking; i enjoyed writing this up!#replies #meta #the once and future slowburn #no kings no masters #merlin S5

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lesbiandanhowell · 3 years

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taylor swift numerology dump

Life Path Number

indicator of what is important to you, how you act and react, and how you process life

a number that represents the path you are on in this lifetime

reveals the person you are destined to become and the challenges you may be faced with in order to learn and grow into that person

understanding its meaning helps you see why things happen the way they do and gives you the power to move through any situation with purpose and intention

Taylor = 7

purpose in exploring the mysteries of life; very inquisitive people with an insatiable need to delve into any topic in search of answers and truths; tend to be solitary creatures who have a lot to learn about relationships and vulnerability

born as natural detectives; gifted with a very keen sense of observation along with strong intuition assisting them in analyzing situations; great thinkers and can evaluate a situation accurately and with ease; efficient when it comes to work, almost to the degree of perfection; has high standards, yet affectionate and peaceful creatures but usually wary when it comes to others due to their ability to detect even the slightest hint of insincerity or deception quickly

usually a bit reserved, and some of them are loners which means they prefer spending time alone rather than surrounding themselves with others

Karlie = 5

life is an adventure; curious individuals who crave variety and thrive in upbeat social settings; need to learn commitment or need to change their situation may ultimately lead to an unfulfilling life

very progressive approach when it comes to life; always striving to look at everything from a perspective that is new with an overall goal to make this world a much better place; enjoy freedom, and they are adventurous and versatile, continually evolving and changing

associated with people that are incredibly devoted and loyal in their relationships; this number is also linked with restlessness

Compatibility of 5 and 7

5 people are incredibly social and adventurous and enjoy exploring everything that piques their curiosity; make exciting and adaptable partners, but relationships can be short-lived; needs variety and can't handle being tied down, so they tend to be unreliable and unable to commit.

Best matches: 1, 3, 7

7 people tend to live in their minds and are not afraid to explore the depths of life; curious and have many interests but aren't especially social creatures; may find it hard to meet new people and can tend to hide who they really are, making it difficult to forge authentic partnerships

Best matches: 4, 5, 7

In Numerology, Life Path number 7 and Life Path number 5 form a combo that is not only one of the most ideal for long-lasting relationships, but also a match that promises growth for both partners

two numbers feed each other on a spiritual plane (many famous intellectual and artistic couples were 5 and 7s); greater than the sum of their parts: 5 has a quick, flexible mind spiced with a wicked sense of humor; 7 has a dry sense of humor and a deep way of thinking

problems if 5's tastes seem too over-the-top or shallow, or if 7 becomes too hung up on spiritual concepts but 5 and 7 have such a powerful, positive influence on each other that these disagreements rarely kill the relationship; the 5 keeps the 7 loose and able to enjoy life, while the 7 is able to show the 5 a deep, serious thirst for knowledge.

attract events and circumstances related to expression of a personal sense of freedom and interest in the workings of science and the spiritual realm; a lot of compatibility there, as energies of both numbers are highly interested in experience: type of experiences are somewhat at odds, one being for experience and the other for learning

Expression/ Destiny Number

influences your personal strengths and also your challenges; helps you identify what you're best at and where you struggle, so you know where to focus your energies

Taylor = 4

organized, down-to-earth, and hardworking, the 4 Expression gives you skills that make you incredibly capable and constructive; master at managing projects and teams and others rely on you because you follow everything through to completion; honest, patient, and loyal (to a fault); carries a stubborn, rigid energy that can make you so fixed in your ways unable to grasp new, better ways of thinking, doing, and interacting

leave behind something that is valuable and others will find to be beneficial in day-to-day life; focused on building things that offer lasting value

could include a family of their own, an enterprise or a business; all about security and stability; hard workers and the pillar of a community and very successful in business; ability to become stellar business or marriage partners; life purpose revolves around hard work and practicality; keep order and thrive on security and stability

Karlie is also 4

Compatibility of 4 and 4

partners tend to have characteristics related to a practical point of view and solving problems with proven methods; energy represented by the number 4 tends to do things that have worked for similar goals in the past; situations are likely to relate to building or maintaining security for the future

Personality Number

side of yourself that you show to the world is reflected by your Numerology Personality number; similar to Ascendant in Astrology; doesn't represent every aspect of your personality, but the traits that you choose to share with others; reveals the type of first impression you make and how other people perceive you

Taylor = 8 with y/ 1 without y

(8) very successful when it comes to business when success is reliant on a time-frame which allows these things to unfold; can see the “bigger picture” and trends and ride waves to their most significant gains; also know when to retract from an engagement, and their sense gives them an insight into cyclical natures of events and things

Karlie is interestingly also 8

Heart’s Desire/ Soul Urge Number

what your heart yearns for and what motivates your ideals, your decisions, and your dreams; Soul Urge is something closer to your heart that you share only with those who are worthy

in numerology one primary desire; govern our purpose and help to direct individuals to their true motivations and intentions; direct influence on all that we do; able to give us essential clues when it comes to shapes and themes of each person’s life

Taylor = 3 with y/ 5 without y

(3) the number three’s have the desires to express themselves through their passions, their creativity and what they stand for; very positive people and usually, have a very active social life; deep emotions and thoughts and finding the right outlet will always be beneficial for this personality type; tend to be driven when they feel inspired, yet in some instances, their energy can become scattered, and this is when they find it challenging to remain directed; one purposes of the three’s is to express their emotions through work and personal relationships

(5) love adventure in every aspect of your life; always yearning for excitement and freedom; don’t enjoy routines for very long, and continuously need change to make sure they stay interested; versatile, adaptable, and have active imaginations: trait that makes these people highly creative and fast thinkers; can struggle when it comes to responsibility along with order; purpose while on this earth involves learning to find the freedom you crave through the things you are committed to

Karlie is also number 5 which I think fits her more than Taylor

Birthday Number

carries energy that influences a person's natural gifts; can tell you about a certain talent you are blessed with that is of great benefit to yourself and the world; gift meant to help you on your life path

Taylor = 13

you are a conscientious worker with a knack for coming up with creative ideas and turning them into something real; optimistic but practical outlook keeps you determined and on track as you work steadily toward your goals

Name Numerology

Cornerstone

first letter of first name; represents your approach to life; it reveals your overall outlook and the ways you react to both opportunities and upsets

Capstone

last letter of first name; how you find closure and follow through on projects and commitments; together, the Cornerstone and Capstone show your ability to both embark on and accomplish your goals

first vowel

represents the essence of your soul and what you hold most dearly; it's a part of you that you wear on the inside and that most others will never see; reveals the real, personal reason behind all your motivations

Cornerstone T

sensitive energies, highlights importance of harmony in relationships and teamwork

Capstone R

hardworking energy dedicated to supporting and uplifting humanity; represents great power to do great things

first vowel A

represents confidence, independence and proactivity, influences people with both motivation and leadership

#highlighted some things I thought interesting #taylor swift numerology #numerology #take from this what you want #thought this was worth looking into #since we know taylor likes numbers #taylorswift #this is the longest post I will ever make tbh #karlie and taylor #kaylor #taylor swift #gaylor #gaylor swift

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b-else-writes · 3 years

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the tiger shark and the sun

New chapter posted for my Star Wars/Avatar the Last Airbender RebelCaptain fusion AU! Eadu time! Dagobah time! Shit absolutely hitting the fan time!

Read on AO3 | Read from the start

Pairings: Jyn/Cassian, minor Han/Leia and Baze/Chirrut, random minor background pairings

Rating: T

Summary: Star Wars/Avatar the Last Airbender fusion AU. When exiled firebender Jyn Erso lands on his doorstep the day Cassian, last southern waterbender, meets the Avatar, she seems just another obstacle in ending the War against the Fire Nation. An obstacle he would willingly remove. But as their paths keep crossing, and the twins discover that destiny and balance are more than they expect, Jyn and Cassian find that they are more alike than they ever thought possible.

Snippet under the cut!

Far away, the twins clambered over the rocks and roots of Dagobah. The entire island, in the green-blue waters of the Southeastern archipelago, was covered in mangrove forests, trailing upwards into high cliffs. He could hear apes and monkeys swinging in the trees, mouse-deer trekking through trails, snakes and crabs scuttling between the roots and sand. Before them was tiniest old man Luke had ever seen. He was covered in wrinkles, with wisps of white hair on his head and sprouting from his large ears. His skin was mottled with a green fungus, but his eyes were bright and luminous. “Found someone, you have,” he chortled, clutching his cane, made from a gnarled branch. “Help you, I can.”

“Well...whoever you are, we’re looking for a great warrior,” Luke said, stepping closer to the strange little man.

The old man chucked to himself. “*War? Wars not make one great*.”

The twins looked at each other. Luke didn’t need to touch his twin’s mind to read what she was broadcasting. In the midst of their silent conversation, the little man began poking and prodding Artoo and Threepio. Snickering, he pulled open their packs, enthusiastically chewing on some of their food. “Hey, put that down!” Leia cried, as he dug out her poncho.

Artoo, growling, grabbed one end with his mouth. Leia gasped, seeing the cloth and fur starting to pull. “Artoo, let him have it!” Luke yelled.

The old man whacked Artoo over the head. “Bad dog! Mine! Or I will help you not!”

Finally, Luke managed to get Artoo to relinquish his hold. With a firm glare from Luke, the old man handed over the poncho to Leia, not even concealing his huff. Artoo looked over at Luke, asking, can I eat him? Please?

“No, Artoo,” Luke said, though he was sorely tempted. Artoo sighed.

“Now leave us alone, we're here to find Yoda,” Leia snapped.

“Yoda?” The old man hopped onto a root to look at them in the face. “Hmm, know him, I do! But first, a snack.”

From his dirty robes, the old man pulled out two coconut shells tied together with twine. He opened them. A putrid smell emerged. “Banana and frog soup – eat, eat! Or I will help you not.”

"We don't -"

"Yes, yes, know him I do. Great Sage, of the Jedi..."

Luke pursed his lips, throwing his sister a beseeching look. Patience. With extreme reluctance, Luke accepted a shell and swallowed a mouthful. Instantly, he began to gag. “Oh, this is not worth it at all,” Leia murmured.

“Ugh, we’re wasting our time!” Luke snapped. “You’re just an old hermit trying to trick us!”

The old man’s head slumped. His ears drooped as he looked out distantly, speaking to someone. “Teach them, I cannot. Too angry, too impatient.”

“Ben?” he asked. Luke could not see or hear, and yet… Something, older than him, carried on from his past lives, knew. "You're Yoda..." Rapidly, “No, no, we can learn!”

“Hmph,” Yoda said with a shake of his head, “Bridge between the Spirit World and ours, the Avatar is. Yet see Spirits in the physical world, you cannot. And worse, this one -” He rapped Leia on the head with his cane, “Sense it not! Spirituality of a rock!”

“We can learn to be more spiritual, to open ourselves,” Leia insisted, rubbing her head. Leia’s voice was tense. She flexed her hands, trying to leash the anger simmering under the surface. “And then we can open the Avatar State and beat -”

The old man shook his head in dismay, wandering away. “Beat? Beat?”

They chased after him. Yoda had found a wide sinkhole. It plunged deep into the island, so massive that trees were growing all over its sides. “But you brought us here to learn how to enter the Avatar State at will! You believe in the Jedi religion, you’re a powerful bender, you should know -”

“Bender? Bender, I am not, Skywalker,” Yoda said.

They drew back, startled. The air seemed to shift, grow thinner. “*Always looking to the horizon, Skywalker… Adventure, pah! Excitement, pah! Avatar crave them not,*” he said. “Organa, always looking inwards. Know nothing of the deep ocean, does the frog in the well. Avatar to all Four, bender and non-bender, you must be.”

The twins scowled. Leia snapped, “That's easy for you to say, living in your swamp!”

Yoda shook his cane emphatically. “Four Nations – think too much of it, you do. Transcend these rigged boundaries, the Jedi tried to be.”

Tried… the word echoed in the charged atmosphere of this strange, breathing swamp. It was darker, sadder than Yavin. “Feel it, do you?” Yoda murmured, closing his rheumy eyes. “Old Air Nomad sky burial ground, this is. Studied with the great sages of the Air Nomads, eight-hundred years before I did. A spiritual place.”

Luke could see her biting back a retort. “Judge me, do you? Great Sage, this cannot be,” Yoda tutted.

Leia’s cheeks were flushed, eyes narrowed. Luke could feel his own ears burning. Patience. Patience. We need to let him teach us. They exhaled slowly. As one, they bowed, and if Leia's was a little shallower, Yoda did not comment on it. “Please, teach us, Master Yoda.”

The old Sage cocked his head. At last, he spoke, eyes closed. “Teach you, I will. But unlearn what you have learned, you must.”

After drinking more of Yoda’s disgusting banana-and-frog soup – “essential to the Spiritual journey!” he cackled – Yoda directed them to the sinkhole. “In there, we must go,” Yoda said, “No weapons. Leave them with the animals.”

They shrugged off their water-skins, securing them alongside their Air Nomad staffs to Artoo’s saddle. Luke stroked his stalwart companion, assuring him and Threepio they'd be back soon. Yoda perched himself on Luke’s shoulder. The old man's claw-like hands dug into his skin. “What’s down there?”

“Only what you take with you.”

There’s no such thing as ghosts, Luke reminded himself. Linking with Leia, they began to bend. From deep within the sinkhole, water from hidden pools inside spiralled skyward. A shimmering water-spout crested up in front of them. “How do you get in there, if you can’t bend?” Luke asked, as the water curled around their feet, slowly lowering them into the cave.

Yoda laughed to himself, but did not answer. They dropped further and further down, clearing the vast greenery of the sinkhole. Stone swallowed them as they entered a further crack in the earth. His breath caught in his throat, almost dropping them.

The crack opened up into a great cave. This chamber alone must have been at least two-hundred feet high. The black walls were slick with water and lichen. They landed on a rock. The cave dropped further and further down into the underground water, its surface black and glass-like. Huge boulders, moss-covered, rolled all around them, a series of hills concealed underground, disappearing into further passageways. Stalagmites the size of towers rose up in the distance.

“Know nothing of the deep ocean, the frog does,” Yoda repeated, his luminous eyes lamp-like in the darkness.

He indicated for them to assume poses for meditation. They sat facing each other, legs folded in Lotus Pose, hands pressed together. “Magic power-up, Avatar State is not. Memory of a thousand lifetimes, it is. Live inside you, all past Avatars do. Mace, T’ra, Revan, Nomi…”

“It’s the beauty of the human experience,” Luke said, open his eyes with a start.

Yoda thumped his cane meaningfully. “Good, good. Now, listen. Feel. Beyond what you see and know, stretch out. See beyond the thick stone of the cave.”

Luke breathed slowly. His mind cleared. The sun passed through the sky above, shadows lengthening. Wind stirred the trees. The underground water bubbled, the ocean hummed, cutting through the stone. Bird song. He and Leia, their energies intermingling, rising from the ground like two stone statues. And…something. Half-memory, half-dream, whispering… The Spirits of Enfys’ people, Enfys, who was gone…

He gasped, opening his eyes. Yoda’s disappointed gaze fell upon them. “Hear you nothing that I say?”

“Meditating, reaching enlightenment – you can’t expect results at once!”

Yoda wagged his cane. “No. There is no difference. What is the role of the Avatar?”

“To keep the world in balance, and act as the bridge between the Spirits and humans,” Leia repeated, resting her chin on her hand.

“Great conceit we have. Are we not part of nature? You, girl, understand this.”

“Well, I, yes,” Leia said, “Because the Water Tribes live in such a difficult place, we understand that our fortunes are part of theirs, and they us. Our hunting keeps the populations in check to flourish in the next cycle.”

Yoda nodded. “Yes, yes. Listen: life, beating around us. Growing, dying, over and over. Energy surrounds us. Binds us. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter,” he said, pinching Luke’s exposed shoulder, “You must feel it around you. Between you, me, the tree, the rock. Even between us, and the Spirits.”

Luke winced, rubbing the skin. Leia made a small grin. “That’s what you get for wearing shirts without sleeves.”

He very subtly earthbent to shift her out of her Lotus Pose. Leia squawked, flailing before she got her balance. Yoda sighed, handing them more banana-and-frog soup. “Truly, their father’s children they are, Obi Wan,” he said, though he sounded almost amused, watching them choke down the drink with revulsion. “Now, listen.”

It was almost night. His stomach rolled. His skin was hot and sticky and uncomfortable. But the twins returned to their stances, breathing in time together.

Reach out. Just as Luminara had said – every breathing thing, every animal and sapling and great old swamp tree… He heard the soft musical voices of the Air Nomads in the air, allowed them to wash over him. Time, time was illusion, Luminara had said… They were gone and yet they were here, a story that was already over and yet was happening right now…

Something blue shone beyond his vision. Slowly, forming and re-shaping itself. Obi Wan Kenobi. A Fire Nation man, here in an Air Nomad site, in the Earth Kingdom, shaped by Water Tribe philosophy. Yoda raised his wizened head and nodded. Obi Wan smiled. “I don’t believe it,” they whispered.

“That is why you fail,” Yoda told them.

continue reading on AO3

#star wars #rogue one #rebelcaptain #dailyrebelcaptain #jyn x cassian #jyn erso #cassian andor #luke skywalker #leia organa #my fic #writing #au: atla

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northpen · 3 years

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the long jade night (preview)

an: despite having another multi-chapter in the works, i’ve been secretly working on a mini-sequel to Meet Again. the final result will be a one-shot, but i’ve finally finished the first part, so i’ve decided to post it as a preview here!

(slight warning: this preview is more than 3k words long).

JADE | QUIET

The story broke a year after their return as ninja.

Cole tugged on the sails of Destiny's Bounty, turning them northwest. The wind was strong; it wouldn't take long to reach their destination. What awaited them, he wasn't entirely sure. He only knew that its prospect filled him with dread.

The laws of chronology dictated that Cole was 3129 years-old. In appearance, he looked no older than twenty-one. He had lived through thirty-one lifetimes. Some were happy, some were sad, but most were lonely. Until now, he had long since accepted the latter as a permanent symptom of agelessness. It wasn't very often that he got to live his days surrounded by friends.

It crushed his heart to know this was the last time it would ever happen.

"I knew her once, didn't I?" said a robotic voice from behind.

He tied down the ropes and turned around. Adorned by his white ninja robes, Zane stood stiffly on the wooden deck. There was a familiar sadness in his eyes, the kind that came around whenever he encountered something he could no longer remember. It pained Cole to witness. They had promised to continue their lives as ninja to create new memories, not mourn the ones they had lost.

It would get easier over time, he assumed. In Jamanakai, they would no longer be surrounded by reminders of the lives they had once shared together. They would both heal in the village's snowy landscape. And then they would prosper.

"We barely knew her," Cole replied. His memories of her before her death were faint, a vague recollection in lieu of anything concrete. "Lloyd and Nya knew her better. We were trapped in another dimension when she ruled with Garmadon. By the time we came back, she was gone. It's a little worrying."

Zane tilted his head to the side. "Worrying?"

Memories of sifting through the ruins of a fallen building crawled across his consciousness like spiders, pinning the visuals just behind his eyes. Chunks of grey brick. Dirt. Shattered glass. He lifted the treasures beneath them with shaky hands.

A strand of pin-straight white hair, now soaked in blood and coated with dust.

"I knew the others well when we approached them. They were different, but the same in all the ways that mattered. Their souls hadn't changed at all," he said. He clenched his fist to keep his hand from shaking. "I feel like I'm going into this blind. The Jade Princess was never one of my closest friends."

Zane hummed. "Then why help her?"

His decision to return to Ninjago City was impossible to rationalize. Despite initial false appearances, Harumi had always been an enemy to them. She had lied to them, taunted them, tried to kill them—and yet, she drew such deep feelings of sympathy from him. There was no way for him to answer the why without going into abstract emotions that made no sense to anyone but himself.

"I can't explain it," he finally responded. "I just feel this is something I have to do."

Zane came forward and placed a comforting cold hand on Cole's shoulder. "If you believe so, we will stand behind you."

Cole nodded and swallowed thickly. Right now, it wasn't Zane or the other ninja that worried him. It was Borg Industries and what they would do when they realized he'd betrayed them.

The previous evening, the police had sent a memo to the Bounty's communications system. A sixteen year-old girl, adopted only a few years ago into a wealthy family, had slit her adopted parents' throats and hidden away somewhere in Ninjago City. Afraid she would hurt other people, the police had requested the aid of the ninja in her retrieval. Of course, they had accepted immediately. But they had their own ulterior motives.

The story was too familiar for Cole to ignore. Even without her name, he knew this was the work of the Quiet One. Harumi was well and alive and Lloyd's desperate gamble had more widespread effects than initially thought.

Last night, he'd dreamt of the building's wreckage. When he'd awoken that morning, he'd remembered the testimony from a family who claimed that Emperor Garmadon's right-hand had played a personal role in their survival. After lunch, he'd made his final decision about what he would do when he reached Ninjago City.

He would find Princess Harumi. And then, he would let her go before any of the police's nindroids could take her away to the Kryptarium.

The police didn't know she was a reincarnation. Cole planned to use their secret connection to his advantage.

It was a risky move. A treacherous one. But he believed in her potential for redemption, and to him, that was enough reason to put himself back into danger again.

He just hoped that she wasn't beyond saving.

The city came into view during sunset. Its dark skyscrapers disrupted the soft pinks and oranges of the horizon; metaphorical spikes that cut into the delicate skin of nature and made it bleed heat and waste. Buildings stretched on for miles upon miles, an endless jungle of concrete and metal that had consumed much of the west coast in its expansion. They spoke to him in nonverbal tongues and made their demands ever so clear: We may trip, we may stumble, but we will never fall. What makes you so certain you can undermine us and win?

He could not answer their question. Doubt bloomed in his belly as the Bounty flew closer to Ninjago City. To help Harumi, the ninja would need to defy the police, Borg Industries, and the government of Ninjago itself—this was a gamble that threatened them with major institutional backlash. If they failed, they would spend the rest of their lives on the run. Nindroid agents would stalk them to the smallest of rural villages. Drones would shoot down the sails of the Bounty in the dead of night. Any reprieve they had found in their year of liberty would be lost to the threat of imprisonment.

They would become enemies of the state. Dangerous to the public. Wanted.

Hunted.

Autopilot kicked in and the Bounty lurched forward. They had begun their descent into the city.

Cole held his breath in a bid to slow his racing heart. Somewhere in the city, hidden away in an abandoned home or a dark alleyway, awaited the last reincarnation for him to encounter. Like Nya, had Harumi figured out she was a reincarnation on her own? Had she stolen her memories back just as Morro did? When they came face-to-face, would she recognize him as someone from their shared past, or only as a stranger from the present future?

The Bounty's thrusters roared as it lowered over the football field that acted as their temporary landing pad. When he looked over the edge of the deck, he could see many trucks and police cars in the parking lot next to the field. It seemed like the Commissioner was in a hurry to move things along.

The deck below his feet shook as the Bounty stuck its landing. Below deck, it was Zane alone who controlled the Bounty's motions. Nya would be in her room, getting ready to come upstairs. Out of all the ninja, she was the only one Borg and the police really trusted. Zane's memory loss and control by Nadakhan had spooked them, the other ninja were nobodies in their eyes, and Cole was a little too rebellious to be seen as someone they could depend on. Nya was their stable link that was about to be treacherously severed.

The hatch opened beside him. Nya's head poked out, and Cole offered his hand to help her climb the rest of the way out. She wore her gi and knee armour, but her hood rested at her shoulders. When she got to her feet, she took one look at Cole and rolled her eyes.

"If you want them to trust you—" she reached forward and yanked down Cole's hood "—you can't make it seem like you're trying to hide from them. I know you're a good liar. Put your acting skills to use."

The autumn air stung his cheeks. "You remember the code?"

She gave him a knowing smile. "If something is wrong, I say 'piano'. If something is disastrously wrong, I say 'Ronin'."

He put a finger to his ear and pushed down. "You guys hear that?"

"Yes, dad. We all heard," retorted Kai's voice over the channel. "Connecting to line five. Have fun."

Line five, the emergency line. The ninja were aware that for such a high level investigation, their usual communications channels wouldn't be safe. The police would want to work in conjunction with the ninja, so it was wise to assume that their voice channels would be secretly listened into by police forces. Line five was unique because unlike their other lines, it couldn't be listened into. Or at least, not until the police realized what they were doing.

Buried inside of Zane's original hardware was a transceiver for basic communications. It was this transceiver, as Nya and Jay had explained to him, that allowed Zane to hear sounds as well as emit them. "When you talk to him, the transceiver converts your words into radio signals he can receive," Jay had told him. "He digests them in a human manner, forms his response, and then transmits it back in audio waves perceivable by you. It seems complicated, but it's not really. Just think of him as a living walkie-talkie." It was this transceiver they were manipulating for line five. Instead of relaying their communications through the Bounty, they now had a much more personal short-range radio tower: Zane.

Line five routed its communications through Zane's personal transceiver. As long as they were within a few kilometres of each other, line five would transmit their words on a secure channel that could only be used by those with access to Zane's body. Thanks to Nya's purge of Zane from the system after the Nadakhan takeover, that number had been reduced down to a comfortable six.

To reduce suspicion, they would only use it in dire emergencies. The codeword piano, spoken over the main channel, meant one of the ninja needed help. Ronin meant that the police were growing suspicious and the ninja needed saving. A call for help over line five meant that evacuation was likely in order. He hoped it wouldn't come to that. They were being so careful—if all went according to plan, Harumi would be on the Bounty by the end of the night while they flew her to the moderate safety of the countryside.

At the edge of the deck, Cole wrapped an arm around Nya's torso and used airjitzu to float them safely to the ground. They crossed the grass and passed through a gate, where the parking lot awaited them on the other side. The Commissioner and several detectives were gathered beside a police van next to the parking lot entrance.

The Commissioner stretched out his arms in welcome. "Oh, how great it is to see you again, Miss Nya. Let me tell you, the current head of security is nowhere close to as good as you were."

She shook his hand politely. "You need to keep hiring reincarnated ninja. We're pretty special, you know."

The Commissioner laughed and offered his hand to Cole. "Is it safe to assume neither of the original ninja would be interested in the position?"

"Way too stressful for me," Cole replied with a smile. He hoped it didn't look too forced. "We're both pretty dead set on retirement, but who knows? Maybe we'll get bored after a few centuries and Zane will want to help out in the city again."

The Commissioner's thick moustache twitched as he smiled. "Then I look forward to your boredom."

"We're not doing the debriefing here, are we?" Nya cut in. "We should get moving. Or did we all forget there's a dangerous murderer on the loose?"

A nindroid opened the police van's side door. The Commissioner gestured to its interior.

"Of course. Climb in."

Throughout all of his years as a ninja, Cole had only visited the police headquarters a handful of times. His memory painted it as a crowded place, each floor in the tall building packed wall-to-wall with nindroid officers and human detectives. He recalled shouting and phones ringing, a place that was always loud and always busy. Tonight, it was eerily empty.

"Please excuse our appearance," the Commissioner said as he led them through the vacant halls. "Just about every capable employee we have is searching for the suspect. It's a very high priority mission for us."

All for one person, Cole thought. It occurred to him that they might not have received the full story in the transmission to the Bounty. What had Harumi done to warrant such a reaction?

Nya shared a glance with Cole. A year of masks had taught them to read each other's eyes well. In the darkest parts of her brown eyes, hidden by their feigned impartiality, was an expression of sincere worry. He was certain they were both thinking the same thing: with every cop in the city on the case, this was going to be a lot harder than originally anticipated.

The debriefing was held in a small conference room on the fourth floor. A sleek wooden table stretched across the room, its top covered in scattered paperwork and discarded takeout coffee cups. At the end of the table, three human silhouettes watched a 24-hour news station being projected onto the wall.

"Before we continue into the next story, a reminder to stay indoors if possible for the night," the anchor said to the camera. A photo of Harumi was displayed in a box next to her head. "The suspect is still at large and considered to be dangerous by the police. While the Commissioner has not yet signalled an intent to move the city into lockdown—"

"You look very busy," the Commissioner commented loudly. "Can any of you explain to me why public funds are being spent so you can watch TV?"

One of the detectives waved his hand in a dismissive gesture. "Yeah, yeah. We were just waiting for you to get here."

The lazy, deep drawl of his voice froze Cole in place. In the flickering light of the projector, he caught glimpses of the detective's personal features. Puffy, gelled-up hair. Trimmed eyebrows. A cleft chin. A smile that seemed to stretch a little too wide.

Really, Cole should have expected his return by this point.

Dareth turned to face them completely. "How are the ninja doing, anyways? Still okay after ditching us for a year?"

"We're doing fine, thank you," Nya said. Her hand touched his arm. She would take the lead from here. "Are you the detectives we're working with?"

"More or less," Dareth responded. "I'm the only mystery-solver here. The other two are just intelligence."

The female detective to Dareth's left slapped his arm. "I haven't spent ten years undercover for you to write me off as intelligence," she complained. She leaned forward on the table and winked. Her clumpy mascara brought attention to the sharp look in her eye. "The name's Violet. Nice to meet you."

The last intelligence took this as his queue to face the ninja as well. This was a face Cole was more excited to see.

He adjusted his glasses. His wheelchair squeaked as a result of the movement. "Cyrus," he said simply.

Nya flashed Cole a look, asking for confirmation. He nodded. Yep, it was the same one.

"This will be your team for the rest of the mission," the Commissioner said. He gestured to the chairs at the table. "Why don't you take a seat? I think it's about time we got on with the debriefing."

"Of course," Nya said. Cole moved to follow her to the chairs, but the Commissioner stopped him with a firm hand to his chest. "Not you. I need you to stay up."

Cole swallowed nervously. "Why?"

In lieu of answering his question, the Commissioner moved to the front of the room. The projector flashed erratically over his body. He lifted an arm to Cole, gesturing for him to come closer.

Nya gave Cole a small nod. It was safe to go forward.

The projector hurt his eyes. He looked into the dark corners of the room as the Commissioner clapped a large hand onto his back.

"As I'm sure you all know, the black ninja here is blessed with memories stretching all the way back to the unleashing of the Great Devourer," the Commissioner began. The hand on his back was more forceful than comforting, an idle threat that scared him more than Morro ever did. "Tonight, your debriefing won't be done by me. I think it's only fair that we let the expert take the lead."

Cole snapped his head to face the Commissioner. "I don't follow."

A laugh. It was a little mocking, a little sarcastic.

It was one Cole couldn't trust.

"Why don't you tell us what you know about the Jade Princess?" His hand trailed up his back, fingers dancing along the nape of his neck. "Judging by the presence of our friend Nya here, I'm sure this isn't your first time dealing with a reincarnation."

Just like that, the plan burned. The police knew Harumi was a reincarnation. The ninja's only advantage was gone.

If Cole had planned on stowing her away and then playing stupid, this was now completely impossible. They would expect him to know everything. If he couldn't locate her hideout, they would at the very least expect him to locate her corpse. Even after all these years, he could remember her original death bed in perfect clarity.

The Commissioner knew that Harumi's hours were numbered. With a case this serious, there was no way Cole would be allowed to operate without supervision. He had two choices: turn in Harumi to the police, or once again find her broken among the rubble.

His status as the only ninja with memories was being weaponized against him. There was no easy way for him to liberate Harumi and remain on the good graces of the law at the same time.

Well, it was a good thing he didn't work alone. It wasn't like the Commissioner could keep track of six fully-trained ninja at once.

"Harumi wasn't a friend," Cole said. He willed his voice to be forceful, channelling the ninja leader inside of him. "She was a monster. A dangerous, evil monster. My only regret is that I never got to take a swing at her myself."

A finger tapped Cole's neck. "You must remember more than that."

Cole found comfort in Nya's quietly terrified eyes. Her hand was balled into a fist below the table, and she seemed ready to spring from the chair at a moment's notice. She must have reached all the same conclusions as him.

The faint hum of the earpiece in his ear inspired his next words.

"Well, she was always a little closed off on the Bounty. But I do remember her being really, really good at the piano."

thanks for reading! i’m going to try to have this finished soon <3

#ive had a few requests for meet again one shots #so ive been slowly hammering one out #ninjago #lego ninjago #ninjago fanfiction #meet again #my fics

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diariesofthehermit · 4 years

Text

The Ecology of Black Liberation

It is hard to be Black. It is harder still when you choose not to numb yourself to the world but to take it all in. The pain that exists within this body is already acute, yet the pain that exists within the world-body is still magnitudes greater. As tempting as it may be, however, it is best not to be numb. Pain is a warning, a signal for danger, and those who do not feel pain cannot sense the arrival of hurt and of death before it is too late. Therefore I have no choice; I must feel. And as I am not separate from the world, I must feel Her pain too; Her aches are my aches, Her hurt is my hurt and our death is one.

What do we suppose liberation to be? Liberation from poverty, from misogyny, from homophobia or racism? What good is it to be liberated into a dead world, one that does not support life of any class, gender, sexuality or race? I suspect that for many, liberation is equivalent to equality, a levelling of the political/social/economic playing field within our society. As I get older, however, I become more and more sympathetic to the view that Malcolm X espoused in his Nation of Islam days: the “world” of western civilization is fucked, and there’s no hope for anyone integrating into it, equally or not. To be “liberated” is to liberate yourself from a doomed society and to build your own. My attraction to this mindset, however, is tempered by the growing twenty-first century truth that there is no longer any place left to build: if indeed our current global, capitalist civilization has not covered every inch of the world itself then its shadow surely does. Fate, now, is collective; the destiny of all life is forever intertwined.

If you’ll forgive the apparent digression, I need now to talk about trees. Trees are, after all, essential to Black liberation (as are all ‘things’ essential to life); to put it another way, the fates of Black people are tied directly to the fates of trees. To do violence to them is, in a very real way, to do violence to me, my family and my community. To think otherwise is to operate under the basic misconception that Nature and people are somehow independent, separate entities.

I recently read an academic study titled “Deforestation and World Population Sustainability: a Quantitative Analysis.” It emphasized, first, the importance of trees to the earth’s life and civilizations: they prove indispensable to our existence through the production of oxygen and the cleansing of the atmosphere, maintenance of the soil, regulation of our water cycle and, a key factor given our contemporary crisis, the regulation of our planet’s climate by keeping its carbon in them instead of in our atmosphere, where it would accelerate the already lethal pace of planetary warming. “Trees and forests are our best atmosphere cleaners” the authors wrote, “and, due to the key role that they play in the terrestrial ecosystem, it is highly unlikely to imagine the survival of many species, including ours, on the Earth without them. In this sense, the debate on climate change will be almost obsolete in case of a global deforestation of the planet.” Obsolete, note, because we’d all be among the dying or dead.

The authors of the study then used multiple variables, such as the world human population, the amount of earth covered by forest, the growth rate of the human species, the rate at which we extract resources from the environment, the projected rate of technological improvement in resource extraction, the renewability of those resources and those resources carrying capacity to calculate the survivability our current society. They gave us twenty to forty years before “catastrophic collapse” spelled the end of human civilization and perhaps of the human species itself, with an “optimistic” 10% chance of human society continuing if we can begin in earnest to expand our civilization into the solar system and harvest its resources.

We all know, however, that if the wealthiest and most industrialized nations began to expand their societies into space, that Black people are going to have a hell of a hard time getting there. Of course, it’s hard to accurately predict the future. Any model of the times to come that depends on future human behavior or expected rates of technical progress is inherently fallible. We may very well survive much longer than that. There is also the alternative, however: considering that we are not only harming our forests, but the soil, the oceans, our atmosphere and indeed the entire biosphere itself, perhaps their calculations of civilization’s end times are not too far off. Perhaps they’ll come sooner. Who knows? The future itself is an unknown. Yet, what we can perhaps say with certainty is that the possibility for total extinction, or at the very least the extinction of human civilization, is now very real. We are not discussing an end of a civilization, or of a society, but of human society itself. Forever. It is an existential threat that the “wretched of the earth”, the poor and the marginalized, cannot afford to ignore. We do not, after all, deserve this fate. We did not bring the world to this point. But do Black revolutionaries have time to discuss it? Is it not best to leave such things to those who have the privilege to worry about the global environment and not whether a police officer will kill them at a traffic stop, or after barging into their home in the middle of the night based on bad intel? I would argue that, in regards to this threat and any other, white people can and will not save us. Have you seen the news on climate change? White people cannot save themselves- they cannot even agree amongst themselves if the threat exists.

Yet the global working classes (even those who carry the label of “white”), the marginalized and the colonized, do not have the privilege of these debates. Wealth will not insulate us from the worst. We have seen Katrina, and how its effects upon communities were proportionate to their wealth and racial make-up, and we should understand that Katrina is just the first sign of what's to come. Already, the air we breathe, the food we consume and the water we drink have a detrimental relationship with the life-spans of the urban poor; the very earth is weaponized against us. For the moment She has only fired warning shots and her real rage is barely apparent. It is, however, on the horizon. Who will feel it worst, I wonder?

The authors of the study offer us some hope aside from Star-Trek like voyages into space. According to them, we live in an “economical” society, which tends to value the welfare of a few privileged components over that of the entire system. Extrapolating a bit, it is indeed clear that not only do we see “humanity” as somehow separable from nature, but that the wealthy and powerful in particular have conceptualized themselves as a group apart from the rest of us, well, peasants as well. What is needed, according to the study’s authors, is a transformation into a society that values the whole as much as the parts and that works for the sake of the all instead of the few. Such a society does not make false dichotomies between people and nature, or between the proletariat and the nation, or even between nations themselves. We are all integrated into a single system in which each part supports the existence of all the others, and to understand one person in their fullness is to, by necessity, see the whole.

I am for, and will always be for, the existence and welfare of the Black community. I would just like to point out that without a healthy planet there are no communities, Black or white, and that Black liberation without planetary liberation is nonexistent. We live and die with our mother; we live and die, in fact, with trees. Which is a wonder, because I’m willing to bet that most of the diaspora in industrialized nations, living our lives so characterized by atomization and isolation, walk by them every day without a second thought. Your true body, though, does not end with your body. I challenge you: the next time you walk down a park, a block or a city street, notice the trees. They are you. One being, one fate.

Link to quoted study: https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-020-63657-6.pdf

#liberation #revolution #black #black culture #environment #BLM #racism #socialism #capitalism #nature #trees #climate change #global warming #deforestation #ecology

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artificialqueens · 4 years

Text

Signed, Sealed, Delivered, Chapter 1 (Crygi, Jan x Nicky) - Joley

ao3 link

“Mail call!” Crystal called out, even though it was only her and Jan in the apartment. She sorted the pile out between the two of them, ending up with two slightly messy stacks. “Looks like you got an international package!”

That brought Jan barreling out of her room, nearly slipping on the rug on her way in. She grabbed onto the counter to support herself, taking a gasp of air before standing upright. “Oh yay!” She grabbed the package with the enthusiasm of a kid on Christmas morning and took it back to her room along with the rest of her pile, not bothering to close the door behind her.

Crystal chuckled, looking over to see her cat perched on the couch, staring into Jan’s bedroom with something of a perplexed expression. “It’s nothing for you, Tic. But maybe she’ll let you play in the box,” she mused before her gaze drifted back to her pile of mail, sifting through what inevitably turned out to be nothing but junk. With nothing else of her immediate interest, she wandered into her roommate’s room, sitting on the bed while Jan was at her desk. “What’d you get?”

Jan carefully opened the box, gliding the box cutter down the tape seams so she didn’t have to rip and yank and risk tearing anything inside. She took the neatly folded letter out first, holding it to her face and taking a deep inhale. The scent of patchouli and vanilla wafted into her nose and made her smile. It was the smell she most associated with Nicky, every package and letter she sent came laced with the aroma of her perfume.

“Bonjour, mon petite poupée,” she started to read, ignoring the way Crystal started to laugh at her butchering of the French phrases. “I hope spring is as beautiful there as it is here. I have sent you a box of macarons—I enjoy them year-round, but my mother always loved to bake them the most this time of year. I wanted to send you some of hers, but hopefully bakery ones will suffice. I’d love it if you FaceTime or Skype me when you get them, I want to see your live reaction, and I sent you enough to share with Crystal, so be nice. Until then, câlins et bisous, Nicky.”

Jan smiled broadly as she finished reading the letter, noticing the lipstick kiss print that Nicky signed off every letter with, and gently set it aside. “Okay, it’s like nine at night where she is, she’ll still be up,” she said as she took the pastel box tied neatly with a white lace bow out of the package. “Oh look, this is so cute.” She took out another piece of paper where Nicky had hand-drawn each macaron and wrote the flavor next to it, making a color-coded guide. “Isn’t she so sweet and thoughtful?”

“She told you to share, so yes.” Crystal chuckled, running her hand through her hair to look presentable while Jan called Nicky on Skype.

Nicky answered the call right away. “Hi Jan! Hi Crystal!” She greeted them with energy even though she was dressed for bedtime, wearing a black tank top and white cotton shorts (the latter not being visible in the frame). Her hair was damp, air-drying, and draped over her desk chair. “Did you get my mail?”

Jan nodded, holding the box up for her to see. “Just did. Thank you so much, Nicks. That’s so sweet of you.”

“Of course, I’m still making my way through the gift basket you sent for my birthday. I have opinions on all the different Oreo flavors.” Nicky giggled. They had gotten into a discussion about all the different flavors of the cookie, and she had become obsessed with the idea of trying the variety. So, when her birthday rolled around, Jan had painstakingly arranged a cookie bouquet (along with a few other treats) with as many flavors as she could find.

In the year they’d been communicating, Nicky had both come to expect Jan to go the extra mile and would still be surprised every time. The university course that had brought them together through its pen pal program certainly didn’t require an exchange of presents, but it started with Jan not being to help herself and (unbeknownst to Nicky) progressed into an ever-present desire to impress her.

“We can get to that next, I’m really excited to try these. Which one is your favorite?” Jan asked as she took the bow off the box without untying it and opened it up. “Oooh, it still smells fresh-baked.”

Nicky grinned as she watched her, opening up a bottle of rosé and pouring herself a glass. “I am partial to the red velvet and the apricot.”

Jan licked her lips. “You know I love red velvet.” She plucked the deep red cookie from the box before handing it to Crystal, who was making grabby-hands at it. She waited for her friend to choose and set the box down on her desk. “On three.” She counted down, then took a bite. “Holy shit.” She covered her mouth, not wanting to talk with her mouth full. “Nicks, these are delicious. You’re gonna have to send these on the regular.”

Crystal was enjoying herself just as much. “Is there a word for like, food horny? You know, like it tastes so good, I’m kind of turned on?”

Nicky snorted and Jan looked down and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Just say you like it, Crystal.”

“I do,” she confirmed, then looked down at her phone. “Anyway, gotta go. Bye Nicky, thanks for the cookies!” She waved at the screen before darting right out of the room.

Jan chuckled, knowing exactly what propelled Crystal out of the room so quickly and shouted “Tell Gigi I said hi!” after her. Then she faced forward again, her attention effortlessly returned to Nicky. “Anyway, how have you been?” “No complainings,” Nicky hummed, aimlessly strumming her fingers against her glass. “Did you get around to listening to that study playlist I sent you?”

“Oh my god yeah, I forgot to say anything because I kept listening to it after I was done studying and fell asleep,” Jan admitted with a laugh. “You have impeccable taste.”

She twirled her slowly drying hair around her manicured finger. “Tell me something I do not know, darling.” She winked.

Jan’s breath hitched in her throat and she covered it with a cough. Nicky exuded a seductive beauty so effortlessly and it didn’t take much for Jan to get flustered. If their friendship wasn’t exclusively long distance, her crush would have been impossible for Nicky or anyone else to not pick up on. Hell, Crystal only knew because she had been aching for the release of gushing about her feelings and her roommate lent a willing ear. “Last time I did that, we ended up talking about juice boxes for an hour,” she retorted once her body had unclenched.

Nicky chuckled softly at the memory. It was so easy for them to go off on tangents about the smallest things. It was probably her favorite part of her conversations with Jan, everything flowed so easily, awkward silence simply didn’t exist between them. “That is true,” she conceded. “But I’ve got to go eat dinner. We’ll talk tomorrow, yes?”

“Go eat.” She never quite grasped how Nicky always ate dinner so late at night, but she had all but memorized her schedule by now. “Au revoir,” she cooed, just because she knew it would make her laugh, and waved as she ended the call.

——

When Crystal got the text ‘come hang out, im done with class,’ she was out the door before she even sent ‘ok.’ Gigi was a junior while she and Jan were seniors, but all of them going to the same university had their schedules aligning relatively often. But she and Jan were living off-campus, so she didn’t want to waste any time on getting to her.

“Hey.” Gigi smiled, greeting her best friend with a hug. “Come on, we’re going on a coffee run,” she said, leading the way. Her direct nature was something Crystal had appreciated—she didn’t ask questions, she made statements, and it came off as harsh to some, but Crystal was terrible at making daily decisions, so she was happy to leave it in her hands.

“Sounds good. You should come over soon, Jan got these amazing French cookies from Nicky. I think she’ll let us steal some,” Crystal mused, linking their arms as they walked.

“Cool.” She nodded. “Has Jan told Nicky she’s in love with her yet?” It had come up in conversation in the past, leading to Crystal giving the entire backstory of Jan and Nicky’s relationship. Luckily, Jan hadn’t held it against her and could live with one more person knowing the truth.

Crystal laughed softly and shook her head. “Nope. But, you know, you can’t push someone to admit how they feel if they aren’t ready.” Her tone was a bit strained in the remark, looking straight ahead as she spoke.

But Gigi didn’t notice the shift in her voice anyway. “That’s stupid,” she said flatly. “They’re like, four thousand miles apart, what’s the worst that could happen?”

“Feelings are feelings.” She shrugged as they entered the café. Of course, she could relate to what Jan was going through, but as far as she was concerned, her situation was worse. A pen pal could be out of sight and out of mind, she reasoned. But having a crush on your best friend made day-to-day life excruciating. She was constantly torn between the desire to distance herself so her emotions didn’t overwhelm, and the powerful urge to spend as much time and be as physically close to Gigi as possible. Perhaps unsurprisingly, the latter would always win. “So, how’s your final project going?”

Gigi let out an exasperated groan. “God, I’m killing myself making a dress for the wedding I’ll never have,” she lamented. “I never want to see white lace again once I’m done with it.”

Crystal winced, averting her gaze. “You don’t think you’ll ever get married?”

“Not the takeaway here, Crys,” she rolled her eyes, but there was still fondness in her expression. “Listen, I’ve made it this far in life without a relationship, maybe that’s just my destiny. I’ll just be far too busy taking over the fashion industry to worry about it.”

It wasn’t a personal rejection, but it was painfully difficult for Crystal not to take it as one. Her heart ached and her chest felt heavy with a sudden sadness, coupled with her active efforts not to let it show. “No, yeah, I get it.”

Gigi rubbed her arm gently. “Don’t let my cynicism ruin that hopeless romantic in you. It gives me hope in this cold, dark world.” She looked into her eyes, silently offering the apology she was just a little too proud to verbalize.

Crystal lightened back up, though she was embarrassed that Gigi had such a hold on her emotions without even realizing it. “I’ll do my best.”

——

Crystal returned to the apartment just as the sun was setting. Coffee had turned to dinner and time had just slipped away from her. But when she got inside, she went right over to knock on Jan’s door, bouncing on the balls of her feet.

“Come in!”

“Jan, I had an idea!” Crystal let herself in and sat at the desk, as Jan was now in bed with her laptop.

Jan closed the laptop and set it aside. “I’m scared already,” she joked.

“No, no, no, I’m totally serious, and it’s a good idea,” Crystal insisted, shifting to sit cross-legged on the chair. “You and Nicky are like, a million miles apart and that really sucks, right?”

“Yes, thank you for reminding me.”

Crystal waved the comment off and continued. “So here’s the plan—you tell her there’s a big event that you’re going to this summer and you want her to come to visit. Dunno what the event would be, but we can worry about it later.”

The brunette tilted her head to the side. “Like graduation?”

“That’s not enough time. It has to be something that’ll happen in like, a month or something,” she explained. “But you guys will just be so excited to be together that you’ll forget about the event entirely, problem solved.”

Jan stared blankly at her friend, wondering if she had become delirious from too many all-nighters. But then she shrugged, what did she have to lose? “I’ll talk to her about it in the morning, then. It couldn’t hurt to bring up…”

“That’s the spirit!” Crystal clapped her hands together. “Let me know how it goes!” And with that, she left the room with a spring in her step.

And Jan did sleep on it, weighing out the pros and cons of creating an elaborate ruse just to get the girl she was pining after to travel overseas. It wasn’t that they hadn’t talked about visiting each other, but they could never ‘justify’ it, there was always something else they needed to focus on, or the finances just wouldn’t allow it (she wasn’t about to ask her parents to send her to France when they were already paying her bills). The more she thought about it, the more it seemed like a decent idea.

After breakfast and a shower, Jan called up Nicky on FaceTime. “Are you busy? I’ve gotta ask you something.”

“You have my undivided attention,” Nicky assured.

Jan smiled, sitting down on the couch. “So, I’ve got this big event coming up next month, and I know we haven’t been able to arrange a visit yet, but I think this would be the perfect opportunity. I really want to see you.”

Nicky tilted her head in curiosity. “I want to see you too. What is the event?”

“A wedding,” Jan answered confidently. She had decided that it would make perfect sense for the time of year.

“I love weddings.” Nicky’s face lit up. “Whose is it?”

Fuck. Why hadn’t she planned one step further? “It’s…” At that moment, she somehow forgot the name of everyone she had ever known for a brief moment, and she wanted to yell at Crystal for giving her this stupid idea in the first place and—

“Crystal and Gigi’s,” she blurted out.

Nicky knew Crystal had a romantic interest in Gigi just from passing conversations, but she had never quite pieced together the nature of their relationship. She was a little surprised at how serious it apparently was, but decided there was no need to question it. “Oh, good for them. I’ll have to double-check, but I think I will be able to be your plus one.”

Jan didn’t realize she had been holding her breath until she exhaled in relief. “Great! I’m so excited, I’m sure Crystal will be thrilled to hear it.”

“Send her my good wishes, I have to get to class, though,” Nicky replied, exchanging goodbyes before the call ended.

“What am I gonna be thrilled to hear?” Crystal asked as she tossed her bag into her bedroom. The door was always left open so TicTac could go in and out as he pleased. She had just returned from class, dried paint splotches still staining her fingers and palms.

Jan’s face froze. Yet another issue she had not accounted for. “Nicky is going to come visit.”

Crystal beamed triumphantly, getting ready to rub her brilliance in the other girl’s face. “See? I told you it—”

“She’s visiting for your and Gigi’s wedding.”

She blinked, looking at her incredulously. “Mine and Gigi’s what now?”

“Look, I panicked, it was the only thing I could think of. And this was your idea anyway, so if I’m going down, you’re coming to hell with me,” Jan got up as she spoke, pacing around the room as she desperately tried to figure out what to do next. “Just go with it, please.”

It had taken another moment for Crystal to fully process the information. How was she supposed to tell Gigi? What was she going to do if she couldn’t get her on board? But she didn’t want to compound Jan’s panic and make everything worse. “Well, Gigi does have a wedding dress in the works…” She looked over at her friend who was still on the verge of an anxiety attack and rushed to her side, wrapping her arms around her. “Listen, we’ll make this work. I don’t know how, but we will, I promise.”

Jan took a few deep breaths, allowing herself to be calmed down. She hugged Crystal tightly, hiding her face against her shoulder. “Where do we go from here?” Her voice couldn’t reach above a whisper.

Crystal chewed her lip as she rubbed Jan’s back. “I guess first thing’s first—I have to tell Gigi we’re getting married.”

#rpdr fanfiction #jan sport #nicky doll #gigi goode #crystal methyd #crygi #jan x nicky #lesbian au #university au #college au #signed sealed delivered #joley #s12

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threadofdestiny · 4 years

Text

The opportunities we may take

Sinbad x Oc

Soulmate AU

Part 15

Confession

--- Kingdom of Sindria, Palace of Sindria---

Exuberant laughter echoed through the well-filled hall. The generals, their families and some of the king's guests sat all around him, enjoying the music and the wine that was being served. To the delight of Sharrkan and Sinbad, some female dancers and bards also took part in the small celebration and thus turned it into an illustrious little gathering. Sinbad hadn't given a reason for the occasion, but in the end he was never needing one to pass the time with some of his favorite activities such as drinking and flirting with beautiful woman.

As already during the Maharajan a few weeks ago, some scantily clad ladies had gathered around the king of Sindria, fawning over him, while they vied for his attention, which he seemed happy to give to the willing women. Deep down, Salome felt a painful stab in her chest at the sight of her savior sharing frivolous gestures with his female guests, not understanding how much the bond between them affected her so strongly while apparently he seemed not at all affected by it. The young prophetess looked down in dismay as she dug her fingers into the light fabric of her dress. Sinbad had not exchanged a word with the young woman since he received the scroll from Isaac, a behavior that bothered her more than she was ready to show in public. Why had he ignored her for the rest of the day? What was going on inside his mind?

Instead of pressuring him, Salome had also withdrawn to give him some space, but the more hours passed, the more unbearable this situation became for her. Nonetheless, at the beginning of the festivity, the young woman had sat a little further away from the other attendants. She had placed herself on one of the wide window sills and was now leaning against the golden, ornate frame while she silently listened to Malik's and Isaac's conversation, without really registering what they were speaking about. Other priests who were allowed to linger in the castle also sat around them and talked quietly to one another, but these too were no more than part of the background noise that surrounded her.

Lost in her own miserable thoughts, the young prophetess looked out of the window and began to watch the sunset with a yearning gaze. Its orange glow reflected on the lively waves like golden flames, coloring the water in a sea of liquid gold. The surface reminded her of Sinbad's eyes, when candles illuminating his iris by night.

"Salome?"

Surprised, the addressed girl turned around and looked at Isaac, only to find that her childhood friend kept his attention to the King of Sindria with a frown, watching him with his steel colored eyes. "Yes?" She replied, pushing a strand of hair away from her face and secured it behind her ear. "Are you happy?" He asked bluntly without turning towards her, not wanting to lose sight of Sinbad's behavior. Malik fell silent, observing his sister glumly, while Salome followed the archpriest's gaze and watched as Sinbad laughed at something one of the ladies had told him in a coquettish manner, as he pulled her onto his lap and leaned carelessly over her neck with a wolfish grin. Swallowing hardly, the young prophetess witnessed how the scantily clad woman pressed her lips to the king's ear, before biting in its shell without shame. At that very moment, however, Sinbad's eyelids lifted, so that his golden iris looked purposefully past the dancer's neck and focused on his little prophetess. They kept eye contact to each other for a few seemingly endless heartbeats before Sinbad turned away again to empty his goblet filled with spiced wine, turning his attention back to the dancer, who was looking at him questioningly, because he had not reacted to her directly.

With trembling lips Salome turned to Isaac, who was now appraising her with his typical calculating, almost piercing look. She forced herself to relax her stiff body before she nodded reassuringly. Knowing what he meant, the dark haired woman decided to answer accordingly, with a forced smile on her face: "Do not worry. King Sinbad and I are just friends. Nothing more and nothing less. "Isaac looked at her in silence, while slowly but surely a disapproving expression spread across his features. He didn't need to speak his mind. She could guess where his thoughts were going, thinking about the bond that should bind them to each other. But unlike Sinbad she had been groomed all her life to accept this link that surrounded them for what it was. The king however, was not someone who naturally believed in such things like destined couples. So she was glad that they were able to form a friendship over the past few weeks, taking tiny steps to get to know each other. Smiling more widely, the young prophetess nodded softly, before she looked back to the setting sun, thinking that the conversation was over, when Isaac asked again:

"But... are you truly happy with that?"

Sighing, the young prophetess leaned forward to rest her forearms on the cold stone of the balcony veranda. It was already in the middle of the night, but some lights could still be seen behind the castle walls, illuminating various spots throughout the whole kingdom of Sindria. The mild night air played with the young woman's loose hair as she sighed sadly, looking up at the sky in deep thoughts. Before the celebration was over, Salome had retired to her room. At some point she hadn't been able to take it any more and was no longer capable to watch the frivolous spectacle of the king and his little flirt, while keeping a mild smile on her face. Worse, the question Isaac had asked her had thrown her pretty much off track.

Was she actually happy? Was she happy that she and Sinbad were 'just' friends?

But how could she actually be happy with it when she had adored this man before she had even got the chance to meet him in person? Her feelings for him had been immortalized in the stars. It was her destiny to love the reader of the waves and she did so unconditionally every day a little more, despite his haughty and manipulative personality. She just had no other choice, her soul was drawn to him and longed for him with no ifs or buts in her case.

But ... what could she offer him anyway? A young girl just before her 18th birthday and yet still so much younger than the King of Sindria. In his eyes she was surely still almost half a child. Would he even be able to ascribe himself to a single person, or would that be too much to ask of a king? Was it naive to wish for a partnership based on a dedicated relationship between two people? Was this connection perhaps more like an iron chain for him that pulled him down and tied him to her in an uncomfortable way? He was a free spirit, so was he able to love her at all?

Plagued by self-doubt, Salome squeezed her eyes together as she desperately tried to hold back the agonizing tears that began to build behind her eyelids. Her body was shaking hard, but she just wasn't able to calm down her breathing, which is why she couldn't suppress the tremor at all. Images of Sinbad pressing his lips against the dancer's neck, began to spread in her head and made the young girl finally sob in a bitter way. She imagined how he had been whispering sweet nothings into thee ear of the nameless woman, before he disappeared with her in a secluded area, leaving his other guests behind, without a second thought. Why did she have to feel so strongly for the King of Sindria?

A sudden knock against the door of her chambers tore Salome out of her bitter thoughts. Startled, the prophetess winced before turning quickly towards her balcony door to look into her room, while she wiped her tears hastily away from her cheeks.

From there, the dark-haired woman could watch how her doorknob moved, but she had locked the entrance, which is why it would not open without her unlocking it. Again it knocked quite urgently, which finally caused Salome to decide to answer her late night guest. When she opened the door, she was surprised to find that none other than Sinbad himself was standing in front of her. The strong smell of alcohol was emanating from him and he leaned relatively heavily against the door frame, breathing quite hard, when he lifted his head to settle his piercing gaze on her glazed eyes.

"S-Sinbad? What are you doing here? ", Salome whispered in surprise, while she stroked her cheeks again as a precaution to wipe away the paths of her tears, in hope that he didn't catch that she had been crying a few moments ago. Instead of answering, Sinbad pressed his hand against the polished wood and pushed it and the young woman aside so that he could easily enter her room. As she stumbled, long, slender fingers cupped her upper arm and pulled her back with a hasty jerk.

Without realizing what was happening around her, Salome's back crashed against the re-locked door, while the king placed his hands next to her head and imprisoned her between his muscled arms. His heavy breathing mingled with the young woman's gasp of surprise, before he also leaned his forehead against the cool, polished surface of the wood, right next to her head. The smell of sweet perfume clung to his clothes and mixed with the familiar nuances that the man exuded as usual. The sweet scent made the young prophetess stomach contract uncomfortably, while it made her think about who Sinbad had been with until a few moments ago. With a heavy heart, Salome turned her head to his opposite side but dared not to move otherwise. His upper body was so close to her that she felt the high-quality fabric of his scarf brushing against her upper arms, while his necklaces clinked against her golden amulet. His warm breath brushed her bare shoulders, making her shiver with tension.

What was he doing here? Why wasn't he with the dancer with whom he had left the festivity just a few moments ago? Rooted to the spot, her eyes fluttered bashfully, before they focused on Sinbad's tense arm and watched as his hand clenched into a trembling fist beside her head.

"Fate!" the king spat deeply, while his body began to shake faintly. Flinching at his bitter tone, the prophetess bit her lower lip in a shy manner and squeezed her eyes shut, listening to his outburst, while she was unable to cope with the situation. "I have never let fate guide me. I, manage my damned destiny the way I like it!" "I know.", Salome breathed meekly, catching how Sinbad's knuckles cracking softly in his anger.

"Then tell me why this God, whom you worship so much, has apparently already chosen a path for me? Where is that a self-determined fate, huh?", he snapped, while he banged his fist against the door, before he abruptly turned away from the girl, when he noticed how Salome winced quietly. Overwhelmed by the situation, the young prophetess kneaded her hands desperately as she searched for the right words. "It was your decision to travel to Dalmasca.", She answered quietly, which seemed to take the wind out of his sails. "How could I not have done that when the mere thought that you may be out there somewhere didn't let me sleep, after I regretted years in advance that I didn't took the chance to reach you when I was younger?" He confessed urgently, while the surprise of his own behavior was written all over his face. Exhausted, he fished the scroll out of his tunic, before he sat down on the edge of her bed, in an exhausted manner.

"What is written in this translation is actually nothing new to me. You said it yourself in your recording after all.", he muttered while he glanced at his prophetess. Salome reluctantly moved away from the door and took a few cautious steps towards the king with gentle expression.

"You have already declared that your God wants you to stand by my side and aid me!" Sinbad explained while he watched as she slowly walked towards him, pausing briefly in front of his figure sitting on her bed, before she lowered herself to the ground in front of him. Organizing her nightgown, she sat only a few inches away from his legs, before she looked up at him with wide, innocent eyes. The image that played out in front of Sinbad reminded him even more of the scene that she had immortalized of herself in the small crystal ball. The message that she had send to him in hope to be able to reach out to the king of Sindria.

"To aid me .... to keep me in the light ..." the king whispered absently, receding some of the words that were written in the scriptures of Solomon. Salome listened carefully, fighting her upcoming tears as she put her hands on her lap and folded them together in a praying manner. Her eyes were watery, but not a tear flowed down her delicate cheeks. Sinbad swallowed hard before continuing. "You were right. The bond that binds us has unsettled me just as much as the fact that the lines of your waves seemed to blur behind you. But nothing prevented me from still... feeling pain every time I decided against you!", the king confessed bitterly, as he leaned forward and supported himself with one arm on his knee while he stretched the other in her direction to run his callused fingers over her beautiful cheekbones. He looked at her with searching, golden eyes, pondering whether or not to keep talking, revealing one of his most hidden secrets. Pausing, Sinbad closed his honey colored eyes for a moment while he withdrew his hand and ran it over his face, to hide his features from her view. Salome could see that the man was hesitating in front of her, but in the end he decided to speak his mind, showing her the bitter truth: "But what's even worse is that I can't promise you what you had asked me to do in your message anymore."

An oppressive silence spread between the couple, because Sinbad was unable to find the right words to show her what he meant. Waiting for him to explain his statement, Salome looked at the king with tense shoulders, but there were no more words that tumbled from his lips. Taking a deep breath, Sinbad bent his upper body even further downwards so that his hair now also shielded his face from her, which was already covered by his trembling hands. His tense shoulders dropped when suddenly the bright atmosphere around him changed into something colder, more sinister. The bright light that usually surrounded him dimmed down slowly, while suddenly he radiated a certain coldness that send shivers down the spine of the lady of the rukh. Sobbing, she watched for the first time with widened eyes as black ethereal birds revealed themselves to her and mingled with the white ones who accompanied the king uninterruptedly. They fluttered in a lazy manner around Sinbad, who kept his head bowed in shame. Taking a deep breath, he slumped a little further down while his hands wandered from his face to his hair to bury them tensely in his lavender colored tresses. Tears ran down Salome's cheeks when she realized what he was revealing to her. Sinbad had already lost a part of himself ... She had asked him not to fall, but her request had reached him far too late and there was nothing she could have done to stop this. No more words left the king's lips, but neither was it necessary to understand the agony that seemed to be residing inside of him.

Cautiously, Salome slid forward a little, settling herself between the man's legs. With shaking hands, she grabbed Sinbad's cheeks as tears continued to run down her own. She brushed his purple hair away, to get a better look at him, watching how he pressed his eyes shut as if he were in pain. Overshadowed was her own sorrow, which she had felt a few moments ago, now emphasizing with the man who crouched over her. Determination spread in her chest like a beacon of light, when he opened his honey colored eyes, linking his hurtful gaze with her's. She hadn't been able to be with him in his hardest times, but that was now in the past. From now on. she swore to herself, she would give everything to keep the remaining light that surrounded him with all her might. "I don't care if you are surrounded by white or black rukh! My heart belongs only to you. It was always yours and nobody will ever be able to change this. No matter what comes: I will support and protect you with all I can give!", Salome swore in a firm, passionate voice, while she pressed his forehead against hers, looking deeply into his honey-golden eyes. "Always mine... protecting me... heh. Fate is a cruel thing, gifting me someone like you, after so many years...", the king repeated, almost amused, but his eyes betrayed how moved he really was by her words.

Sinbad took a shaky breath, chuckling lightly, while he also put his callused hands on her wet cheeks, cradling her head as if it could anchor him to the ground. His eyelids fluttered for a brief moment, before he returned her gaze with the same passion that sparkled in her turquoise colored eyes. "I know I said that I decide my fate myself, but I'm willing this one time not to rebel against destiny and accept what it has planned for me, if it means that you are the price I receive!", Sinbad confessed in surrender, as he passionately buried his fingers in her dark silky locks, while he lovingly pressed his nose against hers. His warm breath brushed her trembling lips, which were only a few inches away from his.

Salome's entire body trembled in a pleasant shiver, when she felt his fingers dig deeper into her hair, while he pulled her up, closer to him. His legs caged her delicate frame and gently grazed her on both sides. Her heart skipped a beat, only to pound within her chest twice as fast. This was it! This was what she wanted! Isaac had been right, she couldn't just be friends with Sinbad. Everything in her longed to surrender to the feelings, that slumbered within her core since the beginning of time.

Forgotten were all the plans of taking it slowly. She didn't just want to be his friend, no, she wanted everything this man was willing to give her. Probably in the future she would come to a point where she would question her heart. Yes, maybe at some point she would regret giving herself to him so willingly, but here and now she just couldn't help it. All she was left with were the overwhelming feelings that spread in her chest, as she instinctively arched her back and bridged the rest of the space between them, to press her lips passionately against his own. A comforting shiver ran down her spine, while her entire body tingled with pleasure. A sigh escaped her lips as Sinbad reacted just as fiercely, returning the kiss as if his life was depending on it. His mouth moved against hers without hesitation, animating her to follow his rhythm, while he easily took the lead.

Her trembling hands wandered from his cheekbones down over his neck to the beginning of his collar, where she finally dug her fingers into the fine fabric. She could feel his own beating heart pounding under her fingertips, how it drummed wildly against his chest. A huge amount of golden rukh circled the pair in contend silence. They were accompanied by a few black ones that continued to surround Sinbad, since he still hadn't pushed them away to hide them from the sight of those who can see them. What they both didn't notice, however, was how a handful of the black rukh began to slowly lighten up, losing their dark color during their passionate kiss, which they shared in bliss. The blackness slowly dissolved, revealing its natural golden shape, before a few of them began to take on a rose colored shade.

All the two of them could concentrate on at that moment were the feelings they shared through their deep kiss they shared with each other.

#Sinbad #sinbad magi #Adventures of Sinbad #Magi #magi labyrinth of magic #Aos #SinbadxOc

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bigskydreaming · 4 years

Note

Ok so everyone and their mama is being resurrected on Krakoa and so many people in marvel have gone through the revolving door that is death. So please tell me just one little thing. Where is Irene Adler? Is she still dead? If not, then why is she only just now being brought back? Why is one of the most iconic imo queer couples still suffering? #GiveMystiqueHerWife #LetMyWLWBeHappy #BringDestinyBack

She is still dead, but she hasn’t been forgotten - this is actually a long-running subplot Marvel laid down, though I’m with you in wanting them to Get To It already. My guess is we’ll start to see more building towards this particular plotline once X of Swords is done, though it won’t actually be the NEXT major storyline. Just a hunch, but my bet is the next focal storyline the X-books concentrate on after X of Swords wraps up is the conflict brewing with the Children of the Vault, after Darwin, Laura and Synch got taken prisoner by them in one of the earlier issues of the core X-Men title.

Alternatively, the next major focus is going to be on what’s brewing under the surface with Vulcan (though its also possible these are going to be one and the same. Gabe’s stories have always been linked with Darwin’s more than anyone else, and given that he’s front and central to whatever’s front and central with whatever’s coming with the CotV, it wouldn’t surprise me if our next face to face with Gabe’s ‘dark side’ ties into that same story. Ugh, Gabe going all Emperor Vulcan again and teaming up with the Children of the Vault....now there’s a scary thought. But dammit, just let Gabe be good, I’m so tired of this ‘there’s something just innately dark and evil inside of him’ crap, bleh. BUT I DIGRESS).

But anyway, the thing with Destiny is actually an ongoing subplot. Back in Powers of X, it was explicitly ‘decided’ by Moira, Xavier and Magneto that they were actively going to try and keep any precogs from being resurrected on Krakoa, including - and ESPECIALLY Irene - because basically, they’re afraid of the precogs, and the fact that there’s no hiding from them Xavier’s big secret.....for all his big talk, he doesn’t actually know what the HELL he’s doing. The thing they’re hiding from everyone else is that they actually already TRIED the Great Krakoa experiment at least once before, or at least to some degree, though we do know they’ve done at least some things differently this time around.

But that was the future shown in Powers of X, where Moira ended up living 1000 years into the future before dying and resetting the timeline....and coupled with the fact that the three of them believe that they’re now on the LAST of Moira’s predicted eleven lifetimes, this is their last chance to ‘get it right’ so to speak, and to find a way forward that allows the mutant race to survive and flourish past any of the endpoints Moira’s previous lives and foreknowledge have shown....

Basically, the fear seems to be that if everyone else on Krakoa knew this background for how they came up with all of this and the futures they’re trying to avoid, as well as the fact that quite simply, they do not know if the course they’ve charted this time is going to be any more capable of circumventing the doom they keep butting up against lifetime after lifetime....this would undermine all faith in them and what they’re doing, and fracture the tenuous alliances that so far have everyone from the X-Men to Apocalypse and Sinister and Selene all working side by side.

They ‘built’ modern Krakoa according to blueprints gleaned from actual knowledge of the future.....but they’re afraid of competing blueprints getting in the way of the road they’ve taken everyone down and derailing their own plan of action. Especially if everyone else were to find out that for all their confidence, they can’t say with certainty the road this time around is going to actually lead where they’re trying to go....and that in fact, they actually have a track record of a good half a dozen previous attempts where they got it disastrously wrong.

So even though Xavier explicitly promised Raven that he would resurrect Irene in exchange for her cooperation and her place on the Quiet Council.....he, Magnus and Moira have been shown meeting in secret to say that they are actually deadset against that happening. But Raven is no fool of course, and she’s suspected from the start that Xavier’s just playing her, and he has no intention of ever resurrecting Irene. (I mean, she was married to the man once, after all, as blergh as that Bendis-bite was. I may think it made for a spectacularly shitty and pointless story, but just saying, few people know how much shit Xavier is full of better than Mystique does).

So we’ve been treated to scenes of Raven brooding deep in her underground Krakoan lair over a glance of wine and an angsty look at Irene’s old mask, vowing “I’ll get you yet, Xavier, and your little dog too,” because idk, why pass up a good Wicked Witch of the West allusion when its right there. Mystique works hard for her Brand, let her enjoy it.

She definitely knows the game that’s afoot, and she has no intention of letting Xavier get away with it. So she’s very clearly scheming on how to circumvent him and get the Five to resurrect Irene without Xavier’s help....but that’s easier said than done. She either needs leverage to force his hand, while still probably not knowing for sure WHY he’s stalling or trying to avoid bringing back Irene, and thus having no way to judge exactly HOW deadset against it he is, and thus how great of leverage she’d actually need to pull that off...or else, she needs a telepath she can trust (or y’know, trust that she has them securely in her pocket) but who also is strong enough to take Xavier’s place in the resurrection/brain download process....as well as needing access to the Cerebro archives where the back-ups of everyone’s consciousnesses are stored.

(Incidentally, part of how Xavier’s been stalling here is he’s claimed once or twice that he only has back-ups stored of mutant consciousnesses from the point when he started actually preserving them, and Irene died BEFORE he started doing this so he just doesn’t have her in Cerebro, but this is pretty blatantly a lie. He brought back Petra and Sway, after all, and they very definitively died LONG before David killed Irene on Muir Island back in the day).

But yeah, I’m as impatient as anyone to see Irene back in action in all her chaotic cryptic glory, and for Raven/Irene to finally fucking rise the way they deserve. And oh holy hell is Raven’s wrath going to be an absofuckinglutely beautiful thing once she finally has her proof that Xavier - her ex-husband, lol, oh X-Men soap opera tangles - has been lying and scheming to keep her wife dead all this time. Like she’s literally said the words “I will burn Krakoa to the ground,” and I mean, its Raven. When she talks about razing Rome to ashes, she’s not joking. The woman does not bluff. She lies, she deceives, she steals, but she never ever fucking bluffs. There’s a big storm coming here and this particular one’s name is Hurricane Raven, not Ororo Munroe. I want it, and I want it nooooooooooow, lol, but I can’t actually claim that this has been overlooked by Marvel rather than just allotted a time table that isn’t to my liking because -

OH I DON’T KNOW ITS NOT LIKE WE HAVEN’T ALREADY BEEN WAITING FOR THE RETURN OF IRENE ADLER FOR 84 BAJILLION FUCKING YEARS ALREADY, LIKE LOGAN HAS LITERALLY GONE TO HELL AND BACK A DOZEN TIMES SINCE IRENE FIRST EXITED PURSUED BY BEAR AND JEAN’S ASCENDED AND DE-PHOENIXED SO MANY TIMES DEATH HAS BASICALLY HANDED HER A PUNCH CARD THAT’S REDEEMABLE FOR ONE FREE RESURRECTION AFTER ITS ALL FULL AND C’MOOOOOOON.

I mean.

WILDSIDE is back. After dying in Neverland in Tieri’s Weapon X run, RICHARD FREAKING GILL was brought back to life before IRENE FUCKING ADLER, I would simply like to express my undying HOOOOOOWWWWW??? to that.

BUT.

DIGRESS.

Ahem. Sorry, I just have very strong opinions on the subject of Irene, lololol. And well, everything. I probably have strong opinions on kumquats and I can’t actually recall at the moment if I’ve ever even eaten one or if I’m just particularly fond of that word and the saying of it. Look, you get what I mean.

Anyway, yeah. We’re getting Irene back eventually. There’s absolutely no way we’re not at this point. Even my cynicism can’t pretend otherwise. They haven’t just left Chekhov’s gun locked and loaded sitting on the mantlepiece here, they commissioned an entire arsenal of Chekhov’s guns and renamed them Irene Adler’s guns in her honor and left them all gift-wrapped on the front porch. Its coming. Its just not. Here YET. (Cut to me being a five year old on a long car ride are we there yet are we there yet are we there yet how bout now - )

So yeah. That’s the scoop, the skinny, the shit(ake mushroom) on this particular subject.

Incidentally, on a related note, I am still of the opinion that pretty much all of Powers of X was one giant red herring, and the real direction all of this is building towards, with Moira, with the Five and the resurrection protocols.......ultimately, I think its all really been about IRENE’S machinations from the start, and Moira and Charles have actually been marching to the beat of HER drum ever since the very first time Irene and Moira encountered each other way back in Moira’s fourth lifetime.

Basically, I think it allllllllll really comes back to the fact that....

Irene Adler is a beautiful fucking liar who lies as only Raven Darkholme’s One True Love possibly can, and she played Moira like a fiddle from Day Fucking ONE.

Full theory on that can be found here:

https://bigskydreaming.tumblr.com/post/188290623176/so-house-of-x-2plot-hole-or-lie-when-destiny

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howwelldoyouknowyourmoon · 4 years

Text

How Far Down the QAnon Rabbit Hole Did Your Loved One Fall?

What to do when someone you love becomes obsessed with QAnon, part 2.

Psychology Today

Joe Pierre M.D. August 21, 2020

“Who knows what this means, but it sounds good to me.”

—President Trump, retweeting a QAnon-related meme

This is part 2 of a series on “What to do When Someone You Love Becomes Obsessed with QAnon.”

In the first installment, "The Psychological Needs That QAnon Feeds," I discussed the psychological needs that QAnon may fulfill for its followers. Understanding those needs is a vital first step in order to understand why those who have fallen down the QAnon rabbit hole may be loathe to climb out. In this installment, I’ll set the stage to understand how the chances of rescuing our loved ones from the QAnon rabbit hole—and how to go about trying—may depend on just how far they’ve fallen.

Are Conspiracy Theorists “Crazy?”

To begin with, let’s differentiate belief in conspiracy theories like QAnon from the kind of delusional beliefs that are used to define mental illness and psychosis. Generally speaking, delusions are false and unshared beliefs that are often based on subjective “inner” experience and whose content is often “self-referential,” involving the believer. In contrast, conspiracy theories are usually shared beliefs that don’t explicitly involve the believer and are based on external evidence that one finds “out there,” such as on the internet. Unlike delusions, conspiracy theories may or may not turn out to be true. After all, they’re “theories.”

Based on this distinction, people who believe in conspiracy theories, however “crazy” they might sound, are no more delusional than those who believe in literal interpretations of religious texts like the Bible or the Quran. And so QAnon—the increasingly popular “right-wing” belief about the secret nefarious machinations of the Satan-worshipping, child-trafficking “Deep State” and President Trump’s destiny to thwart them—is a classic conspiracy theory, not a delusion. Now, if someone were to believe not only in QAnon dogma, but also in the false and unshared belief that they are Q, that would suggest a delusion. Note that it’s possible to believe in both conspiracy theories and delusions at the same time, with some overlap.

Conspiracy Theory Belief: Particle and Wave

Another way to understand whether beliefs might be considered “pathological” is to model them quantitatively as a continuous phenomenon—in other words, within a kind of scale that measures intensity or severity. For example, a cognitive model of delusional beliefs quantifies them along “dimensions” that include strength of conviction (how strongly one believes a delusion), preoccupation (how much one thinks about the delusion), extension (how much the delusion “bleeds into” or affects one's life), and distress (how much one is upset by the belief). Applying this model to non-delusional beliefs like conspiracy theories can help to understand when a belief is likely to disrupt people’s lives with a negative impact on their jobs, relationships, and mental well-being.1

Moving along a continuum of conspiracy theory belief, dimensions like conviction, preoccupation, extension, and distress would be expected to increase across it, along with mistrust in authoritative and mainstream sources of information.2 As believers go deeper and deeper down the rabbit hole, more and more time is spent “researching” conspiracy theories and immersing oneself in online discussions with other conspiracy theory believers, with less and less time spent on work, relationships, or other recreational pursuits. As this happens, believers increasingly turn their back on previous friends and family who don’t agree with their beliefs and don’t “inhabit” their new world.

Similar to how physicists understand light as both “particle” and “wave,” it can also be helpful to conceptualize belief intensity as discrete points along a continuum, like colors in the visible light “spectrum.” Conspiracy theory researcher Dr. Bradley Franks and his colleagues have proposed just such a spectrum model, with 5 “types” or stages of conspiracy theory belief.3 Their model goes something like this (with additional comments added by me):

Type/stage 1: People feel like “something isn’t right,” but keep an open mind as they seek answers to questions.

Type/stage 2: People feel as if “there’s more to reality than meets the eye,” are skeptical about official explanations, and start to seek out alternative sources of information.

Type/stage 3: Mistrust of authoritative sources of information increases to the point of definitive belief that some official narratives are untrue. As a result, people continue to seek information and engage with like-minded people from whom they gain a sense of belonging and group membership. They’re also more likely to get involved in “political action.”

Type/stage 4: At this point, nearly all official and mainstream accounts are rejected so that people turn away from the mainstream in favor of affiliation with an “enlightened” community of conspiracy theory believers. Non-believers are dismissed as “sheep” who are “asleep.”

Type/stage 5: In the final stage, authoritative and mainstream accounts are rejected to such an extent as to embrace belief in not only improbable, but frankly supernatural explanations for events (e.g. aliens, lizard people, etc.). At this stage, conspiracy theories and delusions may begin to overlap with self-referential aspects.

Dr. Franks’ proposed spectrum of conspiracy theory believers is a novel framework to help understand just how far down the rabbit hole conspiracy theory believers have gone. But for the purpose of deciding how to intervene within that continuum, it may be more useful to more simply divide conspiracy theory believers into two stages: “fence-sitters” and “true believers.”

Fence-Sitters and True Believers

The mentally healthy way to hold most of our beliefs is with “cognitive flexibility,” acknowledging that we might be wrong and remaining open to other people’s perspectives. It’s likewise a good idea to maintain a healthy level of skepticism about new information that we encounter lest we succumb to our cognitive biases and merely reinforce preexisting beliefs. This is especially true when we’re talking about theories where supporting evidence is modest or preliminary, and in the case of religious or political beliefs, where a lack of objective evidence often leads to many equivocal perspectives, such that faith becomes necessary to sustain belief.

In the early stages of conspiracy theory belief, people are “fence-sitters” who are looking for answers and haven’t yet made up their minds. Cognitive flexibility and open-mindedness may be intact, but skepticism is already closely linked with mistrust of authoritative sources of information. At this stage, conspiracy theories are appealing as expressions of, or even metaphors for, that mistrust—for the idea that both information and informants are unreliable—without necessarily having a significant degree of belief conviction. This preliminary stage explains why some people might endorse Flat Earth conspiracy theories without actually believing the Earth is flat.

Farther down the rabbit hole, conspiracy theories are embraced with greater belief conviction and become entwined with a new group affiliation and personal identity (e.g. within QAnon, adherents identify as “anons,” “bakers,” and “Q-patriots”) that makes it increasingly difficult to maintain previously established social ties. As such “true believers” move away from the mainstream and in turn are estranged because of their fringe beliefs, they often feel increasingly marginalized and under threat.

In order to protect themselves and resolve cognitive dissonance, they often “double down,” ramping up belief conviction further and diving even farther into a new ideological world. Many will increasingly feel the need to take action, whether spending more time posting on social media in order to “spread the word” or at the extreme, through more drastic and potentially dangerous measures like arming themselves in order to “self-investigate” a child pornography ring at a pizza parlor.

When people’s beliefs become so enmeshed with their identities, giving them up can be viewed as an existential threat akin to death. Needless to say, that's a bad prognostic sign.

In Part 3 of this series on “What to do when someone you love becomes obsessed with QAnon,” we’ll conclude by discussing what kind of interventions might be helpful, depending on just how far down the rabbit hole of conspiracy theory belief someone has gone.

References

1. Pierre JM. Faith or delusion? At the crossroads of religion and psychosis. Journal of Psychiatric Practice 2001; 7:163-172.

2. Pierre JM. Mistrust and misinformation: a two-component, socio-epistemic model of belief in conspiracy theories. Journal of Social and Political Psychology 2020 (in press). [Available as a PsyArXic preprint at https://psyarxiv.com/xhw52]

3. Franks B, Bangerter A, Bauer MW, Hall M, Noort MC. Beyond “monologicality”? Exploring conspiracist worldviews. Frontiers in Psychology 2017; 8, 861.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/psych-unseen/202008/how-far-down-the-qanon-rabbit-hole-did-your-loved-one-fall

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part 1 Psychology Today

The Psychological Needs That QAnon Feeds

Joe Pierre M.D. August 12, 2020

https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/psych-unseen/202008/the-psychological-needs-qanon-feeds

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part 3 Psychology Today

What to do when someone you love becomes obsessed with QAnon

4 Keys to Help Someone Climb Out of the QAnon Rabbit Hole

Joe Pierre M.D. September 1, 2020

https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/psych-unseen/202009/4-keys-help-someone-climb-out-the-qanon-rabbit-hole

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Rolling Stone

It took years for the cracks to emerge for Jadeja, who slowly started to realize that Q drops were laden with logical inconsistencies. A turning point for him was a follower asking Q to get Trump to say the term “tippy top” as proof of Trump’s knowledge of the conspiracy; when Trump did say the phrase during a 2018 Easter egg roll speech, Q believers rejoiced, believing it to be confirmation that Q was real. Jadeja did some research and saw that Trump had said the phrase many times before. “That’s when I realized this was all a very slick con,” he says.

Former QAnon Followers Explain What Drew Them In — And Got Them Out

Like those leaving cults, some people who believe in conspiracy theories like QAnon and Pizzagate can break free from their beliefs

by EJ Dickson September 23, 2020 9:00AM ET

https://www.rollingstone.com/culture/culture-features/ex-qanon-followers-cult-conspiracy-theory-pizzagate-1064076/

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West Point

The QAnon Conspiracy Theory: A Security Threat in the Making?

July 2020

https://ctc.usma.edu/the-qanon-conspiracy-theory-a-security-threat-in-the-making/

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Why it’s important to see QAnon as a ‘hyper-real’ religion

May 28, 2020

https://religiondispatches.org/in-the-name-of-the-father-son-and-q-why-its-important-to-see-qanon-as-a-hyper-real-religion/

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The Birth of QAmom

Parenting influencers have embraced sex-trafficking conspiracy theories — and it’s taking QAnon from the internet into the streets

by EJ Dickson

https://www.rollingstone.com/culture/culture-features/qanon-mom-conspiracy-theory-parents-sex-trafficking-qamom-1048921/

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CNN: Born on the dark fringes of the internet, QAnon is now infiltrating mainstream American life and politics

CNN July 3, 2020

by Paul P. Murphy

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The thin line between conspiracy theories and cult worship is dissolving

An information war is being waged.

bigthink.com May 18, 2020

by Derek Beres

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The Prophecies of Q American conspiracy theories are entering a dangerous new phase.

The Atlantic June 2020

The Women Making Conspiracy Theories Beautiful

The Atlantic August 18, 2020

I Was a Teenage Conspiracy Theorist

The Atlantic May 13, 2020

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I’m dating a conspiracy theorist. But it feels like I’m the one going crazy.

Washington Post August 16, 2020

By Trent Kay Maverick

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Coronavirus: How do I recognize a conspiracy theory?

DW Deutsche Welle May 19, 2020

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Reddit community QAnon Casualties share stories of conspiracy cult

Herald Sun August 11, 2020

by Jack Gramenz, news.com.au

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Christian Groups That Resist Public-Health Guidelines Are Forgetting a Key Part of the Religion’s History

TIME April 20, 2020

by Matthew Gabriele

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Childcare in the Unification Church of Oakland

Sun Myung Moon’s Sex-based Adam and Eve story is just another conspiracy theory

#Joe Pierre M.D.#QAnon #Conspiracy Theories #Psychology Today

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