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merakiui · 2 years

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Oh my god I never thought Id see an alpha!scaramouche. Mera, hes been on my brain a lot recently because of the leaks I saw of him (nervous about what his new design is gonna be and what his animations are gonna be). Some more brainrot for omegaverse though ! Maybe a way you would find out about him being an alpha is that your suppresants don't get renewed on time so when you go to seek comfort from the wanderer you notice he seems a bit different around you. Theres just a little hint of brainrot, you'd do a better job at expanding on it than I possibly could <3

Omg he's been on my mind so much lately!! orz I miss brain rotting about him, so expect lots of mouchey thoughts. <3

(cw: yandere, omegaverse/abo, pregnancy, unhealthy behaviors/relationship, obsession)

As for the omegaverse brain rot, what if it's that one trope where Scara gets you pregnant by accident because you went into heat and he got overwhelmed by his instincts and the two of you end up fucking without protection? And he's so close to biting your neck and claiming you as his for all of eternity, but he miraculously holds back and just,,,, sinks his teeth into his arm instead!!! And now the both of you are sort of stuck together after the pregnancy test comes back positive some time later. You're so ashamed that you've burdened Scara with this and you apologize profusely while he just stares at the test, half-expecting a joke or a mistake or something. You tell him you'll deal with this yourself and you suggest getting rid of the baby since you can't afford the resources or the time needed to care for a child. You're in your final year of university. You have to focus on your degree, not a child, and you don't want to bother Scara with any of your problems.

Scara has this moment of internal panic when he hears you say that because he actually doesn't want you to do any of that. He can't explain why, but the idea of you getting rid of the baby makes him feel oddly uncomfortable. So, since he's a very well-off alpha with a stable and respectable job, he moves you into his penthouse. He says it's only to keep you safe. Omegas are already vulnerable enough, but one that's pregnant and emits the sweetest pheromones?! That's just asking for conflict. Scara promises he'll schedule an appointment with an ob-gyn (hmm maybe it's alpha albedo ooohhhh), but he waits a while. He'd prefer to keep this between you and him (the last thing he needs is Miko breathing down his neck if she finds out; and she'll no doubt tell Ei and then he'll really be in hot water). He'll have the family doctor come in to see you. You won't even have to leave his home, save for when you travel to uni.

Scara's almost never home. And for the first few months, it feels like he just doesn't care about you, which isn't too terrible because it allows you to do all the things you'd normally do regardless of this new arrangement. But Scara is so cold and distant, almost always in a foul mood when he's home, and you begin to wonder if this was a good idea. But while you stew over your doubt, Scara's been watching you through the cameras in his home while he's at work. You're so precious when you're oblivious, and he's given an immense serotonin boost when he watches you crawl into his bed and wrap yourself up in the blankets, most likely to surround yourself with his scent.

There are just a few concerning issues. One: You're still attending university and he can't always follow you to and from your school. Two: Your friends are always messaging your phone. He'd know because he's had a colleague he's acquainted with tap into your phone so that he can read every message as soon as you receive it. You haven't told them anything yet, which is a relief because he wants to make you disappear from the world so that it'll be you, him, and the adorable baby growing inside you. You don't need those fools anyway. And three: You don't actually like him. There's no love. You're just here because he told you he'd take responsibility.

But when your friends insist on meeting up with you, claiming that you never go out anymore, it really gnaws on Scara's patience. And when you get into heated arguments with him when he refuses to let you go outside for fresh air, of all things, and he has to calm himself down because he doesn't want his temper or the intense amount of pheromones he's releasing to stress you and the baby out, it just adds more fuel to the growing fire. You only need him. Why can't you realize that? That's what you told him while he was fucking you all those months ago. So why does it feel like you can function perfectly fine without him (save for those little moments when you get weepy and melancholic, yearning for an alpha's presence)? He'll make sure you'll depend on him soon enough.

After all, he'll be the only one in your life. There won't be anyone else to turn to. You'll have no choice but to accept him and this life, even if you think you can leave after you've given birth to Scara's child. There's no way he's letting you go now, not when he's fallen so deep into this obsession.

#genshin chit chat #kier-xs #yandere scaramouche #tw: omegaverse #tw: abo #tw: pregnancy #miserable alpha salaryman scara x overworked tired omega uni student reader...#<3 wonderful dynamic hehe #so many alpha scara thoughts omg OTL

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strawberrys-starship · 8 months

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So I watched Star Trek 2009 again and decided to do some more in depth note taking this time around, and decided to post it here. I'll be honest though most of it is me pushing the mcspirk agenda and complaining about the uniforms

Disclaimer! This constrains spoilers for this movie and also Star Trek into darkness, I will also say here that I am an autistic queer man, and I refer to a lot of Spock's behavior as autistic, if that is something that makes you uncomfortable them maybe you should skip this post.

Also the spacing is weird but I'm not gonna fix it, sorry :/

Anyway! Onto the post itself.

-----------------------------------

So I'm watching this movie again, I feel like I will like it much better now that I have my own twisted perception of this movie 👍🏻

It's unfair the amount of power this soundtrack has over me

This movie is truly beautiful, the uss kelvin is a gorgeous ship

And the sounds?? Ugh, I love it

I love the fake out they did there, I know so many old trekkies in the theater were like "THERE THE ENTERPRISE!!! LOOK AT HER!!! THERES THE BRIDGE!!! Oh wait..."

I love the funky shape the kelvin has

Ok so, what era are these uniforms supposed to be in? It's not the same ones from Archers days, and even though this is *technically* the point where the timeline diverges, these uniforms had to be canonical in the prime timeline too bc obviously hey were wearing them before they discovered the anomaly.

I'm guessing they just wanted to show that it was in the past? I'm pretty sure these uniforms were invented for this movie specifically.

We're only 1 minute and 43 seconds in.

Yea that ship is pretty damn scary

Oh em gee is Chris Hemsworth, wonder what he's doing here

Side note, when I first watched this I thought he was actually Chris Pine, but I kept going like "hmmm something ain't right here" yeah doofus you got the wrong Chris

It's even funnier when u know that I'm actually a big MCU fan and did a whole marathon of all the movies like a year ago, just full on did not recognize Chris Hemsworth

("Wow Lynsey, you're an MCU fan? How cringe!" Yeah whatever I know, I know, it's got a million and ten problems with it, but hey I love a good fix-it)

Fucking side note- this opening battle scene is gruesome as fuck, I remember watching this the first time and just being like "damn, three minutes in and already we have bodies flying through space??"

Ok so is this canonically what future romulans look like?? Bc this is not what romulans look like in any of the other shows, including SNW but that's all in the "past" so...?

I do find it interesting how many different species they have in starfleet here, because again up until the very minute that wormhole appeared, this was the prime timeline (which begs the question, WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO KHAN??) so that means that in TOS they also technically would have had several other species in starfleet at any given time, obviously we don't see that in TOS itself bc of primary budget issues (that's why Spocks makeup wasn't super inhuman and stuff, bc they didn't have the money to put a regular character in super complex makeup every episode) but this little detail opens up a window of possibilities that I find really fun

Like because of this movie, my TOS crew of OC's has an Orion and two Vulcans in their senior staff (I know I know most Vulcans at that time wouldn't be caught dead in starfleet but they're my dollys and I get to decide what they look like!)

I'm back like, an hour later!

Let's get right to it!

He really does like like Chris pine, like I'm not going crazy, am I?

Is it just a Chris thing??

But yeah I can see why all the fics are like "Jim looks EXACTLY like his dad" cuz yeah they kinda do look like brothers if nothing else

Again I wonder what the theater reaction was to that "Kirk!? JIM Kirk?? But I thought he was played by a different blond twink!"

(Listen I'm sorry to say it but Chris Pine was a twink in this movie, it's just the truth! He gets more twunky as the movies go on, though.)

It's so weird to hear Chris Hemsworth speak with an American accent, or at least his attempt at one

Do we ever hear about this captain like, ever again?

I love the romulan language dude

Wait so do the romulans just straight up not have the eyebrow ridges? Like I think I read somewhere that sometimes they don't have them, but it looks like this entire crew doesn't have them

I'm confused

All I can hear when I look at Nero is the wackes bonkes audio that was going around on TikTok like, two years ago

Idk he just gives me that vibe

Spack! :D

Also I'll say right here right now, I do not support this ending for Spock prime!! I will give her a happy ending even if I have to forge it with my own to hands!!

GASP 😱 we're in the past!

I hate the fact that I had a Once phase, because all I can see is Emma so to me it's like a really weird crossover fic where Emma Swan and Thors child is Jim Kirk

What a mix

GASP! 😱 what ever will he do!

He sounds soooo confident that the baby will be ok

Them both being blond and blue eyed gives me the ick

Damn, poor Jim. Now he's got a million and ten allergies.

Ok ok ok I know this is supposed to be super emotional (and to be fair it is pretty emotional) but with all the fics I've read and fan content I've consumed where Jim's dad dying kinda fucked him over and Winona leaving him as soon as she could just makes me apathetic towards them.

So... yeah.

And I know none of that's canon (I don't think? We'll see as the movie goes on and I remember shit) unless I've missed a book or ten somewhere that provides all this extra information (like where frank came from, sam leaving, basically all the troupes we see with most AOS fics)

Damn, I gotta say that's pretty traumatizing

Star Trek!!!

Yep, we just got to the title sequence :)

Baby Jim!!

Ok so canonically Winona is off planet

I do love the fact that Jim listens to dad rock. Why? Because I listen to dad rock!! And it's very important to me that Jim does too!!

Ok so from the fics, that is supposed to be Sam, right?? But is that confirmed anywhere?? Also they never said who was on the phone, I just knew because of the fics

Where did all this extra info come from??

Oh, nope that's some kid named Johnny oops

Let's hope that we don't have cops in the 23rd century, thank you.

The trauma. This kid.

SPACK!

If I'm not mistaken (I probably am) this is one f the first good looks we get at an actual Vulcan city, right? Like in TOS we only got the ritual grounds, in TOSM we got the other ritual grounds, and then the other other ritual grounds, but we never really saw a city of any kind, did we? It's been a minute I might be mistaken.

And then in TNG, we only really saw some of Sareks home and not much else of Vulcan, but then again I haven't watch the majority of Trek so maybe in Voyager or one of the other shows we see more

Anyway, I choose to believe that Vulcan cities look way more colorful then this, you can't convince me otherwise!

When the Vulcan children are in the learning sphere it makes it look like the floor is actually a really big doughnut pan

BABY SPOOOOOOCK 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

SHES LITERALLY THE SMALLEST BABY IN THE WORLDDDDD HOW CAN YOU BULLY HIM YOU BASTARDSSSS

GAHHHHH I LOVE HERRRR

My question is what Vulcan would think this is logical behavior. Like I know that they're xenophobic and like obviously they couldn't care less about logic when it comes to that so it doesn't really matter, but you go up to possibly the golden standard of Vulcan ideology and act like that?? And then say he's the one who's illogical and out of place?? Look In a mirror bud.

BEAR HIM UP! BEAT HIM UP! BEAT HIM UP!

I don't know how I feel about Sarek being British

Sarek I'm not entirely sure that's what they intended when they made you ambassador to earth 💀💀 but I see where Spock get her "Ah yes, it is perfectly logical to have sex with my human captain and the CMO, it builds respect and is a great team exercise."

Sure bitch

It was so random to cast Winona Rider as Spocks mom, I'm not complaining ofc, I love Winona, but just so random

See, I can't just let her be killed off when she's that damn nice. I refuse! Amanda lives!

Idk what kind of gay little outfit this is bust it works for Spock, honestly. Idk I just feel like he can pull it off but if anyone else wore it it'd look ridiculous.

Is that because Spock is my favorite and therefore can do no wrong?

No! Be quiet you!

YEAAAHHHH!!!! GET 'M SPOCK!!! TELL THEM WHATS WHAT!!! BE A BITCH!!! FLIP THEM OFF!!! TELL THEM WHERE THEY CAN SHOVE IT!!!!

I literally love her so much.

The one bar in Iowa 💀

I never know how to feel about this scene.

Jim Kirk you literally bitch. I love him with my entire heart.

Kirk...

Jim Kirk is a gay bitch (he's bi but still)

KIRKKKK 💀💀💀

Ok that was unnecessary. :| fucking 2009.

Kirk: you can whistle really loud, did you know that?

I... cannot tell you how much Jimby Kirk means to me. Just- he is so absolutely important to my wellbeing. I love him so so so much.

I want a tiny star ship salt shaker

It's also very important to me that he rides a motorcycle, because I love motorcycles

Can you tell I'm very heavily attached to AOS Jim Kirk? I don't know how good that is for my health

WEAR A DAMN HELMET YOU DUMBASS!!! YOU CAN STILL CRASH!!!

The Enterprise 🥹

Did they just let him in? No questions?

BONES! BONES! BONES!

LET ME SEE HIMMMM!!!!

BONESSSSSSSSS!!!!! THERE HE ISSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just- they all mean so damn much to me

I also identify with Bones so much because I too am a southern queer

Ok I'm sorry, I love Karl Urban, but again I am a southerner and this accent... 💀 I just can't

It's so damn funny to me

You look a little love struck there Jimby 🤨🏳️‍🌈

Ahaha I hope nothing bad is about to happen

Ok no the romulans do have the eyebrow ridges, they're just not very prominent

Wakus bonkus

:( Spock prime

I'm sure he does, I bet he studies your ass every second he gets 💀💀

Also I paused just as they cut to the scene with Jim and Gaila 😬 that's fun.

Ok- first off, very interesting that Uhura doesn't even blink at Gaila being in her underwear, but then proceeds to undress in front of her

Gay? More likely then you think.

Also, can they stop making Jim a creep? Thanks.

Well. I can confirm I am a gay man.

I love her tone here

Bones is over this shit

BISEXUAL BITCHY KIRK!!!

Jim 💀

SPOCK SPOCK SPOCK!

THERE SHE ISSSS

LIGHT OF MY LIFEEE

Kirk 💀 why must you cheat

I can physically hear Jim's thoughts going "oh no she's HOT" when he saw Spock stand up

First off- I love how Spocks the type of autistic that makes too much eye contact, like this whole time he's just 👁️👁️ LASER focused on Jim's face

Second, that's a lowwwww blow Spock 💀 damn.

Gehhsjchdishsjs I feel sickkk

I hate that I know what's coming.

Honestly, I started writing fics just so I can fix this kind of thing, bc in my mind Vulcan is not destroyed! Fuck you!

(Don't mind me just reading the name plates of all the admirals)

SEE BONES IS INTO SPOCK TOO!!!

THEYRE ALL GAY!!

(Ok I need to stop for now cuz it's late and I have things to do, I made it 35 minutes and 29 seconds through!)

(I'm bAAAaaaack!)

Bones hair flying in the wind 💀 he looks so disgruntled

How tall is Chris Pine? I didn't think he was very tall but he towers over this random commander

Maybe that guys just short tho

Bones, you poor poor fool, you're so in love with Jim. One kicked puppy look and it's all over for you

Gehhhhh I am not here for the Spock x Uhura relationshipppppp

The worst part is, is that I honestly think Spock and Uhura could work, not in these movies obviously with how abhorrently they write Uhura to be a #girlboss (and then they did the same thing with chapel in SNW) but I think that if it was written by someone who like, actually cared about the characters then I feel like it could work

But also that because I headcanon Spock using he/she pronouns and being just all over the queer spectrum, and I also headcanon Uhura as the number one lesbian of the year, so I think the dynamic between those specific headcanons would be very interesting to see

Anywho!

Ok now that I'm looking at this relationship through the lens that they are both lesbians I don't mind it as much

BONES 💀 YOU ARE SO GONE ON THIS MAN

"Just sitting there looking all pathetic" HE IS SO IN LOVE WITH JIM ARE YOU KIDDING ME

I... fucking love Bones so much. I can't even put it into words

THERE SHE ISSSSS THE ENTERPRISEEEEE

It seems my opinion on the new uniforms has not changed. Idk what happened but I just do not like how they redesigned the classic tos uniforms, it feels like they took the sparkle out of them, whatever that means

Spack! :D

Ok like. Why do the uniforms just look like a tee shirt and jeans? They don't look like a uniform!!

I also hate the longer cut on the shirt, the higher waist line from tos along with the sleeker pants just looked better to me

ALSO WHY DO THE DRESSES HAVE SHORT SLEEVES??? HOW THE HELL ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO TELL SOMEONES RANK WHEN THEY DONT HAVE THE STRIPES???

And then the delta just printed all over the shirt but there no texture to it... it's like those cheap bodysuit cosplays you can get online where they just print whatever the character is wearing onto a polyester bodysuit that warps whenever you stretch it too far

And the shirt isn't tailored at all!! It's so baggy!! Like Spock was looking at her station, kinda leaning over, and the collar of his science blues was like sticking out because the shirts fit like shit!

Anyway... I got big feelings about these uniforms

I ALSO hate how they attempted to make it look like the shirts were sewn like they were in tos (y'know with that weird shoulder seam they had? I don't know the name of it) but then they're actually just sewn the normal way?? So there's like, double the seams??

Sulu!!

I literally love the dynamic between Bones and Jim so much. He just knocked him the fuck out without even blinking. I love it

Chekov :(

One of my favorite things that Bones does is follow Jim around with a regenerator because he knows that Jim Will Not sit still long enough for him to like actually do his job normally so he's had to adapt

THAT looked like Jim was gonna kiss him

Haha..ha... I wonder why they're drilling into the surface of Vulcan... it'll probably be fine...

Spock is like "what a reckless and intriguing man. I Must Have Him"

I saw that glance gay boy

Damn this movie is actually kinda intense

I hate that I know what's gonna happen

✨Spock and her autism✨

THAT WAS A GAY ASS LOOK KIRK

That guy reminds me of the Skyrim guards

Godddd that is so damn scaryyyyy

Fuckkkk that is so. Fucking. Terrifying. Instantly vaporized.

My question is why didn't they immediately start evacuating Vulcan the second they could

God. I feel physically sick knowing what's about to happen

God.

Gut wrenching.

Six billion.

God damn.

On a side note, I find that I don't mind the relationship between Uhura and Spock as long as I imagine that they're either in a QPR or are lesbians

I still don't like how they reduced Uhuras character to being Spock's girlfriend tho, especially in into darkness.

Anyway. I'm still reeling over Vulcan being destroyed. That was fucking devastating. I can't even think about it

This is why 90% of my AOS writing either takes place during the academy or is an AU

Who the fuck is Nero's actor?? Why do I recognize him??

One sec now I gotta look it up

I looked him up and I literally don't know him from anything except Star Trek, so I guess he just reminds me of someone else but idk who

Ok but. Romulus was destroyed because the star went supernova, not because the federation or Vulcan went after it, right? Like I'm not misremembering that, am I? Guess we'll see.

Like I know Spock got there too late to save it, but Romulus is still gonna be destroyed?? If anything he just made it far less likely that Romulus will survive now that most of the Vulcan scientists that came up with red matter are dead.

I fucking hate those thingssss

I love that Kirk is already in the captains chair, he's just that much of a bitch

They totally just wrote that in so Spock could nerve pinch someone 💀💀

Damn. Really just dumped him on an ice planet

Run bitch!!

Spock :(

Oh my god. The look in his eyes. How does anyone expect me to be ok after that.

Heart wrenching.

Spock hasn't seen her Jim for decades. Possibly even a century. And the first time she sees him again, he doesn't recognize her.

And I know, I know, timeline shit, but like, could you imagine how devastating that is? To see your lost loved one and them just straight up not even know you? And Vulcans feel emotions so much stronger too.

Yea so see? They didn't personally destroy the planet! It a was natural space disaster! And Nero probably just fucked up any chance of them being saved from it!

Man, now I want to watch TOS again so I can see Spock happy.

Spock to McCoy: I understand that James Kirk is a ""friend"" of yours

It's ok you can call them boyfriends

These southern phrases they have Bones saying are insane 💀 not once during my life as a southerner have I ever heard someone say that, and I hear weird shit come out of other southerners mouths every day. We make shit up, but nothing that damn complicated 💀💀

SPOCK YOU ABSOLUTE CUNT 💀💀💀

SHES LITERALLY GOT A SMIRK ON HIS FACE RIGHT NOW

I missed bitchy Spock 💕

WHAT AN ABSOLUTE BITCHHHHHHH

Sorry McCoy I don't think you can come back from that 💀💀💀💀💀 Damn

Ok no need to be racist McCoy

Or xenophobic, technically

Oh don't worry Spock prime, Jim's tiny little human arms got the door, just keep on walking down the hall

SCOTTYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!

THERES THAT CHAOTIC SON OF A BITCH!!!

YOU DUMBASS 💀💀💀 I DIDNT KNOW HE USED ARCHERS DOG 💀💀💀

AOS Scotty is one of my absolute favorite things in the world

Kirks over this destiny shit, man

And then Spock prime breaks that rule himself 💀💀 I think she just didn't want to deal with her angsty younger self

Fuck Spock prime doesn't even know this version of his mom is dead too

WAHHHHHHAHA 😭😭😭 THAT OLD FRIEND WAS JIMMMMM BECAUSE HE FUCKING CHEATED THE SYSTEM ALL THE TIMEEEEEE

you got this Kirk, don't worry about it

There was way more water in that pipe then that

Spock: un-fucking-believable. He found his way back onto the ship. I Must Have Him.

Ohhh shit here comes one of my absolute least favorites scenes. THE PAINNNNN

Oh my goddd like I know why Jim is doing this but it HURTS and it makes me want to DIE

Oh my god oh my god STOP

STOOOOP

GET EM!!! GET HIS ASS!!! SHOOT HIM INTO SPACE!!!

But not rlly cuz I love him

And that single shot of Kirk changed the entire fandom. For the better? For the worse? Who's to say

Scotty 💀💀💀💀

Yeah fair 💀

Oh my goddd the cut of these shirts bothers me SO MUCH

THEY LOOK AWFULLLLLL

IT LITERALLY TURNS EVERYONE THAT WHERES THEM INTO A SHAPELESS BOX

except if you're a woman, then that thing is tailored to your body like a glove 🙄

Its guns-UH-blazing, McCoy! Get it right

I can't explain in but Spock is standing in a very autistic way

WHAT IS THIS LOOK SHES GIVING KIRK RIGHT NOW

"Vulcans don't show emotion" MY ASS!!! SPOCKS ALREADY SMITTEN!!

They are standing veryyy close

OK WHAT WAS THAT SLAP SOUND EFFECT 💀

And Spocks face after 💀💀 pure regret

Ok no thanks I'd rather not see them make out

😐

Gaygaygaygay

Kirk "oh wow that weird, wonder why it called u ambassador, that so random" 💀💀

YALL CANT JUST STARE INTO EACH OTHERS EYES LIKE THAT WHILE STANDING TWO INCHES APART AND THEN CLAME THAT SPOCK AND JIM ARE 100% CISHET

I WONT BELIEVE IT!!

Spock finding a chair that swivels on its own fascinating is extremely autistic

Dude the Vulcan ship is literally so damn cool

Whys this damn thing got no safety rails?? Isn't this a ship from the future?? I figured you'd be at least a little concerned with safety, holy shit

I really thought Nero went "FUCK!!!" But he was just saying Spock 💀

Jimbyyyy Kirk, what a sad lil boy

And that's how you break several ribs

Ok damn I got chills when the enterprise appeared

"Jim!" "Bones!"

HOMOS!

OH MY GODDDD THEY ARE LITERALLY FLIRTING RIGHT IN FRONT OF MEEEE

The enterprise looks so tiny

damn, got chills again

GAY

Ok one sec I know that this is like an "omg Spock and Spock are talking!" Thing but-

SEE THEY KNOW HOW TO TAILOR SHIT!! THAT PROFESSOR UNIFORM LOOKS GREAT ON SPOCK!! WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED WITH THE OTHER UNIFORMS!!

Spock prime knows exactly what's going on. She really said "that's gonna be one of your husbands, couldn't get in the way of that lmao"

AGAIN EVEN THE ADMIRAL UNIFORM LOOKS BETTER THEN THE STANDARD UNIFORM!!

Gay! They are GAY!

GAY AGAIN!! THEY ARE ALL FUCKIG GAY!!!

AHHHH THE ORIGINAL INTRO ;;;0;;;

IM NOT CRYING YOURE CRYING

also that was the end of the movie! I didn't time myself this time around, but I would say all in all it probably took me like three hours to watch this movie, maybe more

Anywho! Maybe I'll watch into darkness again soon so I can cringe (not that I don't like the movie, it's a fun time, but there are some bits that are just... yikes, y'know? Namely Khan)

#star trek #star trek aos #mcspirk #spirk #spones #mckirk #star trek 2009

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the80srewinders · 2 months

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Our Diagnosis Story

We've been posting about our life before we found out about DID especially about before the host knew they had alters. We never posted our full journey, just bits and pieces when needed. Since this is a DID/OSDD blog we should post our full story, and since 80s culture has something to do with our healing, it fits perfectly on the blog. Other people with DID have posted their journeys before so we'll join and add ours.

Trigger warnings for csa, physical abuse, emotional abuse, rape, bullying, RAMCOA, medical trauma, isolation, and ableism apply for this part.

The body was born with brain damage, causing mental and physical disabilities. The body is mildly physically disabled, but can't do skating, lifting or sports. We were born with level 2 autism spectrum disorder. If you're wondering why I'm telling you about the body's mental and physical health, it plays a part in why we developed DID.

We'll never know how old the body was when we were first sexually abused or who did it first. But because of clues, all in our memories, we figure the sexual abuse first happened at 2 at the latest. Our first memories possibly date back to when we were 3, theres a small unlikely possibility it dates back to when we were 2. I, host, believe my memories date back to when the body was 3. My first memories are in third person, and with imaginary friends who were sentient. The really distressing dissociative experiences didn't start until the body was 4 that I know of. I'm not sure what most of the memories of when I was 4 even consist of or how many I have- all I know is the number is definitely under 30 memories in all. But I have plenty of memories where I'm wondering if the world is real (derealization.) I always thought that was a normal thing everyone did but didn't talk about- there's more of those, we'll come back to that later. I remember mentally feeling nothing- no fear, no sadness, no happiness, I just... existed. I didn't feel like anything at the time but looking back I feel like a fly on the wall or a spiritual observer in the room- I didn't feel anything, I was detached from the people around me, I was ignored in all my memories except the ones of me with one of the abusers in particular. I don't remember much about the memories with him at that time outside of he showed signs of grooming me.

When the body was 5 we started public school. Things seemed okay at first, but soon the autistic behavior became a problem. I wasn't diagnosed with it yet, so my guardians at the time and school staff thought I was just defiant. I remember almost nothing from when I was actually in the school, except for a few memories: being threatened with being shoved down a storm drain on the playground at recess by another student (don't remember anything about the student, they're like those black silhouette men on the caution warning signs- a distorted, shadowy ish but more opaque figure), not being allowed to sleep on the floor during naptime because I get sick too easily, and watching these "lesson" documentaries (I only remember what two of them were about.) If any other bullying happened when the body was 5 I don't remember it. But when I was 6 the bullying really got severe- and I remember none of it. I also have only one memory I know for a fact is from when I was six and theres a few memories that are possibly from when the body was six but the exact date is unknown. This is the year I lost to dissociative amnesia caused by DID. According to people who were around me back then, I was not myself- I was distant and upset. My mom even told me that when I was six I was mad at her for "sending me to school to get tortured" when the word "torture" wasn't in my vocabulary back then and I never knew that happened. I don't even know how I knew the bullying was severe- I only remember a little bit of it from 2009. I believe it was when the body was six I started writing in different names because that felt like it was who I was- I never knew my legal identity until I was 5 and that was just my first name, it took me until I was 7 to fully know my legal identity. When I was met with my legal identity, it felt uncomfortable and embarassing. My name was uncomfortable, like a slur, sign of danger or something I should be ashamed of. When I was six and seven, I'd be found randomly staring off in the school restroom, when ever since I could remember I've been scared of most public restrooms. I was running around trying to kiss boys which is weird because before I was 8 I was lesbian. I remember none of these things but they happened. This behavior was out of character and I never knew it happened until other people who witnessed it brought it up. In 2009 the bullying got more severe- two incidents I remember are a girl spitting in my food, making me eat it causing me to get severely sick, and being punched. I was homeschooled after that, and when I was, the time loss became noticeable to me- without consciously feeling like I fell asleep, I'd suddenly have a sense of being "back" from being somewhere else in the room or the house. But I had no memory of consciously falling asleep or waking up- my consciousness never felt like it was cut off, yet I'd be hit and rushed with this feeling that I went unconscious and was "back" in the chair or wherever. I'd mentally ask myself "Weren't you here just seconds ago?" I'd also feel like I was in different parts of the room than I really was, like under the chair. This was another thing I thought everyone experienced but no one talked about.

When the body was 8, we started visiting the body's cousin. She was less than a year younger than me, and our guardians thought it would be a good idea for me to be around her. Because I was (diagnosed with it the year before) physically and mentally disabled, our guardians thought it was a good idea to isolate me from other "normal" or really just outside people and have my cousins as my only friends. This is just the tip of the isolation iceberg I endured as a child. The cousin made a pass at us the first day, and would sexually abuse us sadistically for an unclear number of years.

When the body was nine, we officially entered a mental health crisis. I had no self esteem and wanted to be a "normal" girl. I saw the cousin do everything we couldn't but wanted to- skate, do ballet, have after school activities, have friends, and eat things we couldn't due to the physical disability. We also were recently diagnosed with autism- and the way it was explained to me was, I was being isolated because thats what you do with autistic kids since they have trouble socializing and other stuff I'd rather not repeat since its ableist. I also told off the sexual abuser from when I was around 2-6 when I was nine but have no memory of doing so, and supposedly what I told off had to do with him doing mind control on me and I don't remember if I told off the sexual abuse or not from what the person who told me this said. After that, my mental health got worse. I was consciously creating masks of what I wanted to be- these masks had names, ages, even their own family I wish I had and history. Whatever I thought was easier I'd pretend to be, and even tell strangers I was. I refused to identify with my real name and felt dysphoria with it. When I was 8 a phenomenon started that I still have, but especially had a lot when I was nine- those things you never knew happened, but you should remember them, and feeling like you're doing something wrong by not remembering them so you lie and say you do remember them. It could be anything- a vacation, a family night, a christmas party. It felt like it was "the rules" that I had to remember these things.

When the body was eleven, I had my first real encounter with an alter. I was thrown out of my body completely; I was watching myself from the other side of the room. And I felt like someone elses thoughts were being received by my brain and I was sharing thoughts with someone. I'd heard a voice briefly telling me to do things when I was 8 but when I was 11 this voice made itself prominent and was a part of my daily life, when previously I only had an internal monologue when I needed one- just to associate things together (often when I was deep in thought and detached from the world) and I don't remember clearly what else it was used for but it would come and go, pop up here and there. This inner voice was repetitive- it would be stuck on saying the same phrases over and over then get another set of phrases it would repeat over and over, in a way to block out "bad thoughts." This was a mostly unconscious thing.

When the body was 12 and 13, the abuser from when we were 2-6 would go on vacations and the dissociation really became prominent. Mostly identity disturbance. By this time, I didn't know what I really liked because I felt like my brain was pulling me in all different directions and it was exhausting. I would feel like my looks changed to someone else entirely, I'd always look in the mirror to make sure I still looked like myself. I even kept a strand of hair in front of my eye to "ground" me because I didn't feel like my looks turned into someone elses when I had the hair as a reminder my looks didn't change. My mannerisms would change to said person, I'd almost sense them behind me or inside of me. I would randomly be thrown overboard from my body and looking at it from the side like I was sitting next to myself. This happened a lot. Random objects or people would suddenly feel like they didn't really exist and that scared me. Sometimes the world felt dreamlike or just unreal when that happened.

When I was 15 I still had all those experiences, but a new one was added to the list- I would mostly unconsciously pick up random objects and forget I had them. I don't know what made me do that. I would pick up objects out of a remote liking and forget I was still holding them or had them. I didn't even feel them in my hand. I did this a lot anywhere. I wasn't even fully in control of myself.

When I was 16, I had amnesic switches somewhat often but didn't notice until years later when I found things I wrote and drew and didnt remember doing. There was a girl in my head I didn't consciously create I'd see and identify with. I started hearing coherent responses from another. But when I was 17 things would finally lead to our diagnosis.

When I was 17, my inner voice was telling me to do things repeatedly. When I was done, I would feel this sense of satisfaction that didnt feel like it was fully me feeling it. This led to me seeking mental help and getting misdiagnosed with OCD. I followed treatments for it (not meds- the body can't process them safely) and nothing worked. This would continue into 2020 when after talking about my "high wired" episodes where I'd be "driven" to talk a lot with no control or exact subject and feel like crawling out of my skin and my head spinning (these started at 7 I guess) and feeling "driven" to stay up and be productive almost only in the late night early morning hours with a sense of satisfaction, I was misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder. Those two things are common in CPTSD and were overlooked. By 2021, I was mostly unproductive until those occasional late nights, deep into doing things repeatedly to the point I was tired and getting other people to do things for me so I wouldn't have to touch or move the same object many times, and distressed by "voices." When I admitted one of my triggers into the behavior was seeing the abusive cousin that's when the possibility I had DID or OSDD was put in the picture. Starting in late 2021, I had to go through a lot of testing for dissociative disorders and personality disorders. In the process, around December 2021, the alters started unraveling. They would introduce themselves, and I'd keep a list of them. This was around the same time I started becoming obsessed with the 80s because of the music, and by February of 2022 I didn't feel the need to do things repeatedly because of the "voice" that much. The diagnostic process ended in November 2022 and I was diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder. During the diagnostic process, we found a shared interest in the 80s. It started with music, which after loving the aesthetic in the music videos, we fully became obsessed with 80s culture and used our shared interest in the 80s to increase communication and reach functional multiplicity with the help of therapy. I look back at the time before I discovered I had a system, and I realize how I was a stranger to myself. I didn't know what happened in my own body but thought I knew everything about myself. I was so detached from myself and had to learn about myself. But here we are today- we've made so much progress in self discovery that we'd never go back. We're proud of who we are and wouldn't want to be anything else now.

#dissociative identity disorder #actually dissociative #osddid #dissociation #actually plural #syscovery #our DID journey

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thesebright-lights · 1 year

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To continue the unnamed Supernatural (not the show) MCR AU from my last post

I wanted to talk a little about when the band starts touring. DISCLAIMER: this is not waycest. You won’t find that on my blog. In this AU, vampires are very scent oriented, and Mikey and Gerard have a close BROTHERLY relationship.

When they record music together (and eventually spend time in the van with each other while touring) Frank starts to notice some of the others' quirks. Mikey and Gerard really seem to like kool aid, and Ray seems to eat almost nothing but meat. It’s strange, but he figures that he’s met people with weirder shit going on.

In the van, Ray always slept in a way that looked.. mildly uncomfortable, and kind of reminded Frank of how a dog curls up on the couch. After a little while, he finds it sort of endearing.

Mikey isn’t the touchiest person, but there are a few brotherly moments that he sees pass between them. There was one night where they were headlining at a venue that had sold out- Gerard was nervous, it was the biggest crowd they’d ever had at a headliner, and he’d started to have what looked like a panic attack. Mikey went over to him and pressed their foreheads together- Gerard eventually buried his face in Mikey's shoulder, too. Frank had had a few panic attacks over the course of his life, and he knew that having someone you trusted there to help you could make a serious difference- that moment made him realize just how close the two brothers were.

Gerard, on the other hand, was big on showing his affection physically- a hand on someone’s shoulder, even a hug after a performance- and Frank realized that he was always.. cold. It was a bit unnerving. St some point, though, it occurred to him that that might be why he often sat so close to him or Ray (strangely, not so much Mikey).

He also could have sworn he heard Ray growl at a man in a bar, once. The man had come over and started to bother Frank, asking if he could buy him a drink while he made some not-so-subtle sexual advances. Ray stood up and grabbed the man by the shoulder (were his nails always that sharp?) and growled in a way that shouldn’t have really been possible as he told the man to leave Frank “the fuck alone”. Suffice to say, it worked.

Once or twice, Frank caught himself wondering. Gerard really got emotional during Vampires Will Never Hurt You and Early Sunsets Over Monroeville- combined with the rest of the bands strange behavior, could it be..?

No. What was he thinking? Theres no such thing as vampires. Besides, Monroeville’s about zombies, and he’d touched Ray before, the mans temperature was normal- Gerard probably just had some medical condition.

Thats what Frank told himself as his band mates went to sleep while he drove the van. Ray looking content, curled up in a position that looked like it would hurt the next morning, Mikey looking like a literal corpse, and Gerard with his arm presses against Frank's. He couldn’t help but smile.

#mcromance #my chrmical romance #mcr #my chem #mcr imagine #mcr au #vampires #werewolves #vampire gerard #vampire mikey way #werewolf ray toro #frank iero #fanfiction #mcr fanfiction #supernatural au #vampire au #fandom

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acourtofthought · 1 year

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hi! im new to the acotar fandom and im only in book 1 but i love reading theories on the characters and i see that theres a ship war between elriel and gwynriel/elucien. and i just have this one thought that i havent seen anyone mention before:

if elain is lucien’s mate, that means azriel has his own mate that we dont know about yet. could be gwyn or it could be someone else entirely. and yes while azriel for sure lusts over elain, do we really think that he will forego the thought of his own mate? we’re talking about azriel here. someone who is desperate for a mate, for love. to be loved and to love someone who is his and only his. if he gets with elain, wouldnt he wonder about his own mate? especially if the bond snaps and he figures out who is mate actually is. i dont see him abandoning his mate for a forbidden love (elain). and could he stomach the thought of permanently taking someone else’s mate?

i guess when it comes to gwynriel (assuming gwyn is his mate) or elriel, the question really comes down to whether his desire for his one true mate is stronger than his desire to be like his brothers and get with an acheron sister.

and ive read that the cauldrons can make mistakes when it comes to mates. but i refuse to believe that they made a mistake with azriel’s mate. he has been through so much and he already feels unworthy as he is. imagine how much worse he would feel if he knows that the cauldron made a mistake in his bond. like “i’m not even worth the careful consideration in pairing mates with one another that they just carelessly pair me with someone wrong”. my baby az 💔

You're going to have to check back in once you finish the series and let me know your thoughts on what you read versus the theories you've seen!! And what you think of Az once you get further along. Az in book 2 definitely reads differently to me than Az in later books. I agree with what you're saying. There's little chance that Feyre, Rhys, Cassian and Nesta would have been given perfect mating bonds while Elain as the remaining sister would have been given a poorly matched bond and Az as the remaining brother would have either received no bond or a poorly matched mating bond himself. SJM told us in all of her series that Fae Mating Bonds are unique and special and there's no other way to look at it then feeling like a main character who was given a poorly matched mating bond is then the loser of the group (not like "personality" loser but the one who wasn't gifted that super special bond). And if both Az and Elain do have their own mates but reject those mates, they'd always be aware that the other has a pull to someone else. That's a weird thing to do with characters in a fantasy book, write a MF romance where they picked one another but the reader will always walk away with the knowledge that Fate wanted them to be with someone else and they're always going to share a unique connection with them. And maybe, even with all that, it wouldn't be as much of an issue if E/riel shared an undeniably special connection. But for the fact that half the fandom is extremely concerned by their behavior together, I think it's proof that they don't have the epic kind of love that could convince everyone that mating bonds don't matter. He never once gives Elain credit for who she is as a person, he protects her in a way that's stifling her growth, we get confirmation they don't communicate well, we never get confirmation from Azriel himself that he's moved on from Mor though we do get confirmation that Az hasn't thought of a real future with Elain. And the reason it's ok Amren doesn't have one is because she wasn't really Fae to begin with and Mor actively does not want a bond with a male partner. So if she does happen to have one with Eris, her desire to be with a female strongly overrides caring about whether she has bond with him. The "tug" that would always exist becomes more of a familial thing than a romantic thing. Not that SJM couldn't end up writing it so Mor / Eris aren't actually Mates and she has a same sex mate instead but to me it does seem she's going in the direction of Mor and Eris as mates.

#acotar mates #mating bond #anti e/riel

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phanfictioncatalogue · 1 year

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Taylor Swift Songfics (3) Masterlist

part one, part two

and if my wishes came true, it would've been you. (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Phil can categorise his life in three acts: Before Dan, With Dan and now this new, uncertain one he’s calling After Dan.

a reality break-up fic inspired by 'the 1' by Taylor Swift.

and we're out here in plain sight (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Phil's an optimistic author whose science fiction novel is well on its way to becoming a film. Dan's an actor whose cynism toward love is nothing short of infuriating. It takes a while, but they find something to agree on.

begin again (ao3) - brookwrites

Summary: dan is struggling to move on from an abusive relationship, and that struggle grows when, for the first time, he feels ready to. he doesn't seem to understand anyone actually caring for him, but phil does, and he doesn't know how to handle it. (based off the song "begin again" by taylor swift!)

delicate (ao3) - snokoplazm

Summary: Everyone still dances, unbothered by a thing, and the lights still change of colour every now and then. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see the shadows they create on Phil's face.

(Dan is 24, has a reputation for sleeping around and is miserable in life. Phil is demisexual and a sweetheart. They meet one night at a club and spend the rest of it together, but not like that.)

Drop Everything Now (Meet Me in the Pouring Rain) (ao3) - happy_endings15

Summary: Phil never planned for a rainstorm to intrude on Dan's second ever visit to Manchester--but maybe that's exactly what they need to push them closer than ever.

hold on, never turn back (ao3) - happy_endings15

Summary: "You are the best thing that's ever been mine"

Or, 2009-2018 (mostly) according to Phil.

I Don’t Wanna Think of Anything Else (Now That I’ve Thought of You) (ao3) - danscardigan

Summary: Dan and Phil meet and fall in love, all in one night.

I Think That It's Best If We Both Stay (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: “Please be okay Dan, please come back,” Phil whispered into the phone, tipping his head back so it hit the door, “I love you.”

Basically the aftermath of these two loverboys' first fight

i'll spend forever wondering if you knew (ao3) - rosecolouredjosh

Summary: Dan came to his parents house in London for the annual charity event where his mother is responsible for the catering. As he had been helping her in this event since he was a kid, he was already preparing himself to the feel extremely out of place and lonely.

But maybe, someone could help him enjoy the night a little more.

its just a dance, lover (ao3) - lilyxxxooo

Summary: When at his brother's wedding, Phil can't help but feel sad that he has no one to dance with.

keep your brittle heart warm (ao3) - theloveofbees

Summary: this summer is strange. but its warm. and theres wine. and theres music. and maybe things will be okay.

Let Me Tell You Now You're the Lucky One (ao3) - happy_endings15

Summary: predictable, /prəˈdiktəb(ə)l/

adj. expected, especially on the basis of previous or known behavior

It was laughable just how predictable these YouTube conventions had become. Dan knew their fans were well aware of his and Phil’s antisocial habits. He also knew he wouldn’t change a thing.

Losing Grip (on Sinking Ships) (ao3) 1 happy_endings15

Summary: When tensions flare up and everything seems to fall to pieces around Dan and Phil, a few choice words may be all Phil needs to cut the string entirely. Can a couple songs be all he needs to convince him to stay, even for just a moment?

message in a bottle (ao3) - indistinct_echo

Summary: This is different. This is happiness.

A fic about basking in joy and the risks we take for more of it.

never too late (to be brand new) (ao3) - happy_endings15

Summary: It's the final show of the tour, but that doesn't mean everything has to end. Maybe, just maybe, Dan and Phil both have a few tricks up their sleeves.

Nothing New (ao3) - indistinct_echo

Summary: “I've had too much to drink tonight

How did I go from growing up to breaking down?

And I wake up in the middle of the night

It's like I can feel time moving

How can a person know everything at 18 but nothing at 22?

Will you still want me when I'm nothing new?”

- Taylor Swift, Nothing New

rain is always gonna come (ao3) - calvinahobbes

Summary: "I don't deserve you." She doesn't mean for it to slip out, at least not in that tone of voice. It feels too raw, too real, too close to what she's been lying awake with every night for months now. (Dani and Fi and depression, early years edition.)

there's nothing i hate more than what i can't have (ao3) - twoheadlights (fizzfic)

Summary: the beautiful man across the party is agitating dan beyond belief

when you are young, they assume you know nothing (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: A letter, in a plain envelope.

Dan’s address written on the outside.

And something else scribbled on the front:

To PML.

If the offer enclosed is disagreeable, return to sender.

After a misunderstanding at prom, Dan finds himself in a dilemma; should he fall into a summer affair with Phil, or should he make up with his boyfriend of 3 years, Blake?

Based on Taylor Swift's Folklore.

Willow (ao3) - lilyxxxooo

Summary: Life was a willow and it bent right to your wind (inspiration from “willow” by taylor swift)

Sometimes, Dan just wishes he tried harder. Other times, he’s just happy he’s still loved by Phil.

would it be enough if i could never give you peace? (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: They've been through a lot, over the years. Some days are harder than others, but they are each other's constant.

You Belong With Me (ao3) - analester

Summary: fic based off 'you belong with me' by taylor swift

#phanfictioncatalogue #phan #phanfiction #phanfic #dan and phil #masterlists #taylor swift #taylor swift songfics #songfics masterlist #taylor swift Songfics masterlist

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violentviolette · 2 years

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So I’ve been following the conversation and I’m curious how npd plays into it? I always thought I had impulse control and just chose not to care but I literally never actually did have impulse control. I still kept doing the things. I think self-awareness of your desires and controlling your desires are not the same thing. I was self aware of my desires being bad and thought that being self aware of them meant I was capable of controlling them and chose not to, until I realized in this conversation that no I have never been able to exert impulse control in destructive urges, like, ever. But you mentioned being comorbid npd and I was wondering how that, idk, played out for you? Because sometimes, I notice that my npd can almost delay the impulse if I want a particular outcome but my other far worse urges would more often than not override any desire to delay. I’ve never understood how people could have long drawn out plans because for me, I just Did the thing whether or not I wanted to do the thing. I cannot have those long cons that people talk so infamously about because I just short circuit and act on impulse and ruin any sort of “long game” I thought I could do.

oh for sure, self awareness and control are definitly not the same. there's been so many times in my life, even still, where i know what im doing is the wrong and destructive move and i shouldnt be doing it and i dont *want* to be doing it, but i still do anyway. for some of us that is just literally never a skill we will posses or be able to do 100% even if we can learn to control it a majority of the time but theres definitely a level of impulsivity for all the cluster b disorders in general, they all just manifest a little differently and so depending on what u have its a different mix of the same things for everyone. for aspd it's usually a lot of straightforward outwardly physically destructive, risk taking, and aggressive impulsiveness. starting fights, taking drugs, daredevil behavior, recklessness, physical violence and lashing out, destroying protery and items, starting fires, and those kinds of things for npd its often a more emotionally immature impulsiveness that manifests more as a lack of emotional control (not that aspd doesnt also have a lack of emotional control, it just is much more prominent for npd whereas for aspd it manifests more physically). npd is based heavily on external rewards, we cannot generate internal validation or rewards and so rely on external ones. but we also have big dysfunction with our reward centers and so we require instant gratification and the degree definitely varies from person to person depending on ur other comorbidity but for some of us we physically cannot wait for long term rewards, our brains cannot conceptualize them and will choose the impulsive short sighted immediate reward over the long term goal reward pretty much every time. but a lot of ppl with just npd do have a slightly better threshold for that impulse control especially if what they want will give them a very desirable and high value reward. whereas for aspd, which doesnt value outside rewards at all and struggles with operant defiance and will therefore reject the rewards entirely, that kind of ability to dely gratification just doesnt exist. aspd is never motivated by external factors or rewards because it inherently devalues them

for me, my aspd is much more prominent then my npd at this point in my recovery and also was in my childhood, that wasnt always true and id say in my 20s it was the opposite, but as ive worked on things a lot of my npd symptoms have lessened, but ive always struggled much more with impulse control because i still dont value those outside motivators pretty much at all

#jack.speaks #anon #aspd #npd #cluster b pd #cluster b personality disorder #i hope that made sense sorry its a little all over the place im a bit high lmfaoooo

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gaoau · 5 months

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Wednesday 17th — Asking for a Favor

The Girl Upstairs note — mental health works differently for everyone. this is my own personal experience dealing with anxiety and dysthymia, so its fine not to relate to the mc here. warnings — theres implied suicide ahead. stay safe, kiddos. word count — 2.2k

prev. — next.

Three days: Monday, Tuesday, and now Wednesday, almost seventy-two hours.

[Name] had been avoiding him for three — almost — whole days since their short study session on Sunday. It wasn't the first time she completely swerved around any sort of interaction with Akaashi; she had acted similarly after his taking her school notes to her that past Tuesday. An event which, when he stopped to analyze its simplicity a bit deeper, he realized it brought more conflict than he had originally given it credit for. After that sickening noise of — what he believed to be — wood breaking, [Name] erased herself from his life for five days. After bringing up that same subject during that Sunday afternoon, [Name] darted out of his apartment in a hurry, resetting back to being fidgety and paranoid.

This time, however, her behavior seemed to have changed. Before, she had successfully disappeared from sight; the only hint of her ever existing came from words of third parties. Now, she settled for ignoring him — for lack of a better word.

Early in the morning, for the last three days, Akaashi patiently waited for her at the gate. Surprisingly, she showed up not too long after him. Her heels furiously dug into the bricks with every step she took, echoing in his ears as she speed-walked past him. Those heels sometimes built with lead; sometimes simply feathers. Good morning, Akaashi-san, her voice, slightly muffled by the collar of her jacket, stabbed his eardrums with its unwavering harshness and throaty tone. Every time, Akaashi blinked flabbergasted as she turned round the corner and stomped to the train station on her own.

Akaashi knew little to nothing at all about [Name]; he had made sure to carve that fact into his brain to remain aware. But he was willing to learn more, to understand, and to give her the help she much needed — the help he assumed she much needed. Saying he could start to understand some things was too much of a stretch; he was learning, slowly but surely.

The previous Sunday, once she begrudgingly entered his apartment, she breathed in deeply and her tense posture fell. She got rid of that teal scarf he barely ever saw her without, and although her jacket remained zipped all the way up, he could finally hear her voice clearly. It caught him absolutely off-guard; never had it crossed his mind that a girl as meek and jumpy as [Name] could have such a sturdy voice. Words fell useless when trying to describe it — a smooth stone, one which didn't crack and never allowed anyone to move it, soft to the touch yet unbreakable.

During that impromptu study session, Akaashi found she had the ability to maintain eye contact. He had glanced over his shoulder to ask her a question, and nearly got whiplash by the way the look in her eyes slapped him. She held the most neutral of expressions; calm, collected, composed, cold. Akaashi understood why her classmates described a person completely different from what he'd encountered. It made him wonder which [Name] was the real one. Perhaps the one who shivered on the spot, shuffling awkwardly and hiding her face? Or the one with serene eyes, sharper than any blade around the globe, staring at him with firm pupils he had seen tremble?

Akaashi had felt the progress, he had felt her warming up to him, cracking jokes and showing off her quick wit. She even discarded her jacket; given, after much reluctance — and endless insistence on his part — but discarded it nonetheless. [Name] laughed and joked and sat comfortably right beside him on his chair. Certainly, if the circumstances had been different, the two of them would have been great friends.

But, as it turned out, Akaashi had bitten off more than he could chew. She seemed to be enjoying her stay at his place and his company; she seemed happy and full of life; she seemed fine. She wasn't, though. He had forgotten about it — about why he had accepted her offer to study a subject he knew inside out and upside down.

On [Name]'s exposed neck, the one Akaashi had never seen even once since he formally met her, a faint red line circled around her skin and got lost underneath her hair. To make his suspicions worse, two purple bruises no bigger than a coin positioned themselves asymmetrically right by the sides.

No wonder she always felt cold.

Seeing those blemishes on such a frail body part snapped him back into reality. He brought up the sound of cracking wood from Tuesday. [Name]'s face lost all its blood. He didn't miss the way her eyes averted to the floor and how her chin tucked downwards once more. One glance at her uneasy expression told Akaashi he had instantly thrown all of that progress out the window with just one question.

The [Name] that had quietly reared her head over those looming steel walls, built by none other than herself, quickly swapped places with the [Name] that dug bottomless pits to hide herself forever.

The stirring in his stomach had forced him to skip practice and head home early. But he knew better. It wasn't a threatening cold or the after-effects of food gone bad; it was a pretext. A pretext he had come up with to fortuitously meet his neighbor at the train station. If he wasn't in shape to practice, then better go home early, get some rest, and come back as good as new the following day. And have an unavoidable talk with [Name] while he was at it.

Although he hated to admit it, the possible outcomes of riding home with [Name] did wash him with uncertainty and hesitance. Whenever it came to confronting his neighbor, his composed demeanor melted in an instant and left him fumbling with his fingers. Maybe he was pushing her too much, maybe his chance to help her had already been ruined, maybe she didn't even need help, maybe she was fine. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

But those maybe's floating around his head vanished into thin air as he spotted [Name]'s back at the train station. She stood over the yellow line, two or three steps away from the railway. Her head was held high, her eyes staring off into the distance despite there being nothing of interest to stare at. Her neck was exposed to the chilly afternoon breeze — of course it was, Akaashi had seen her teal scarf hanging on the hook by his door for the past three days. He hadn't returned it to her in hopes she would reach out to him first.

The humming of the approaching train pushed him to hurry up and make his presence known. His small steps overflowed with doubts and reluctance; he had been taught not to cross over the yellow line on the floor. Maybe that was the reason, maybe he simply feared [Name]'s reaction.

Akaashi's eardrums nearly exploded when the honk of the train rang into the sky. He whipped his attention back and forth between [Name] and the incoming train. [Name], standing still over the bright line painted as a warning; the train, only getting menacingly closer by the second. [Name], mindlessly walking forward; the train, fearless and unstoppable.

[Name], standing dangerously close to the edge, one foot dangling above the rails. The train, following only one path and nothing else. Akaashi, watching with twitching fingers and a pit in his stomach.

"[Name]-san!" He received no answer while helplessly watching his neighbor stroll towards her doom. It might have been the shock of witnessing such events transpiring or only his mere cowardice, but his legs refused to budge even one millimeter. "[Name]!" Akaashi shook his head as her name slipped from his mouth once more. He darted forward, arms and fingers stretched, praying to reach just in time.

The train whizzed past, carelessly whipping up the air and making leaves and dust dance in disarray. Akaashi winced when [Name]'s hair stabbed his eye, but still stared into the freezing pupils of a startled deer — at least, that was how [Name] looked like. Furrowed brows, but eyelids separated as much as humanly possible. Skin a hundred tones paler than usual. He could see the poorly hidden bags underneath her eyes and the two glaring bruises she had slapped some make-up on.

[Name] visibly bit her lip, glancing down at Akaashi's fingers still firmly wrapped around her bicep. "You can let go now." Her icy voice pierced him like an arrow, just a second away from giving him frostbite. He nodded his head, apologized with a small bow, and proceeded to motion towards the train.

Some seats were left free, although a very small number of them. [Name] didn't waste another second plopping down close to the doors. She looked away with a scowl as Akaashi sat beside her. He couldn't blame her: there were other seats available and he deliberately chose the one right next to her. Their relationship didn't go beyond an awkward acquaintance, of course she wasn't comfortable with him.

Akaashi could only sigh; dealing with Bokuto was far easier.

So small and fragile, Akaashi wondered if his brain enjoyed playing tricks on him or if [Name] really despised physical contact. He understood she felt far from comfortable around him, but she had managed to shrink down in size considerably. Her knees pointed away from him, legs pressed close together as she clutched onto her bag with both arms. Her head remained downwards while she hid behind her hair.

Akaashi stifled an exasperated sigh. "[Name]-san." His call was met with nothing but silence. He frowned. "[Name]-san." He hesitated before nudging her, gently pushing her shoulder with the tip of his fingers. Her arm fell at the touch. She wasn't trembling and fidgeting nervously or avoiding his eyes to prevent a talk. She just wasn't there on that train with him.

He wanted to be straightforward, he knew better than to beat around the bush, he was certain that his usual bluntness was what [Name] needed. But his words would be based on only assumptions. The noises from his ceiling, the concerning marks on her neck, the events just before they stepped onto the train together, [Name]'s own actions and words. He couldn't link them together; he didn't know or understand a thing about her.

It didn't matter. If there was something he should try to understand before anything else, it was that [Name] was not fine. And he couldn't understand if she didn't help him.

"[Name]-san, are you okay? I don't mean to intrude at all, but I'm worried about you." Straightforward, blunt, directly to the point. No more indirect questions, no more chances for her to dodge said questions.

[Name]'s voice slammed against his ears, that same icy tone nipping at the marrow of his bones. She didn't bother looking up at him. "If you don't mean to intrude, then please don't. I've told you not to worry about me, but you still do. I'm sorry…" Her tongue poked out to wet her dry lips, and then she gulped. "You're better off not involving yourself with me. I'm sure you mean good, but don't waste it on me."

"What do you mean?" The way his brows knitted together was involuntary. Her words genuinely caught Akaashi off-guard. A waste? Her? "If there's anything I can help you with, it won't be a waste."

"Akaashi-san."

The cold can kill anything in its path in the blink of an eye. [Name]'s voice became dead, monotone, no longer holding any feelings or sensations to it. Hollow and empty and detached. Akaashi felt a shiver traveling down his spine.

[Name] moved her head towards him too look him in the eye. "Trust me on this one. I appreciate it, but there's no point. Please, just let it be. I don't need help." Those eyes of her, sunken in and exhausted beyond belief, glazed over with unshed tears. Dull irises surrounded unwavering pupils, so sturdy and sharp that she could cut him open if she stared at him any longer.

And much like her voice, they were very cold.

Akaashi opened up his mouth to refute her statements with warming words of reassurance. She was not a bother, she was not a waste; she was his neighbor, and all he wanted was to lend a hand. [Name], however, didn't allow him to utter out even one letter. "Could I ask you a favor, Akaashi-san?"

"Anything." His reply darted out of his mouth without a doubt.

"Don't worry anymore."

The train came to a halt and its doors slid open. Nameless faces poured out to their destination, leaving only two high-school kids sitting alone together. [Name] stood up, slung her bag over her shoulder, and bowed to Akaashi as a goodbye. Akaashi glared dumbfounded at her retreating back. He did say he would do anything.

#The Girl Upstairs #Haikyuu #Akaashi Keiji #Akaashi Keiji x Reader #Akaashi x Reader #Haikyuu x Reader

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mrfoox · 2 years

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Bruh... I still can't tell if I'm imagining that my guy friend is into me or if he actually is but I still feel those vibes

#miranda talking shit #Sometimes im like ah nah its nothing im just thinking too hard #And then he says or do something and im like.... Hmm... Thats.... Suggestive at best #If people flirt with me i cant catch it or see it as flirting im just like haha we are joking now and its all good #But when it comes to that.... Ya know unconscious stuff ? I feel it bc i have been the one doing those stuff #Like ... Being extra nice or checking on them or always putting them above other friends a little ?#And the smiling and laughing and occasionally saying something sweet and being embarrassed bc you mean it differently to that person thanto #Other friends... Like i have been there a lot so im like... This... Youre kinda doing this towards me and idk if im thinking too hard orwat #But.... Its adorable af but also ... I prefer people to just say that stuff... Often I'll probably be down on it too anyway #And if not then they can move on and not be wasting their affection on me...?#Part of me want to just ... Ask or bring it up but if im wrong it would be weird i guess #And part of me want to i guess try to somehow bait out the answer but that would be deceitful and if hes not actually interested #He might be scared bc he thinks i am? I just hate being on the receiving end i guess ...#I know how i work and i would never act on a friend crush so if i end up having on its just best to let me be and ill get over it #But im aware of it? The dude in question has no real experience with crushes apperantly so idek if he... Knows if it is what he has?#I have not had anyone have a crush on me as i know at least. My ex we kinda just were close and then both realized that we like each other #More than friends? So i never really ... Had much of someone else been pining or crushing on me where its obvious but this guy #Things he do and say make me wonder and i wish i could either unsee it or just have him come out and say it #I hate not knowing. The maybe part is the worst. The suggestive things and the special behavior and treatment #It feels like he wants me to pay attention to him and notice him and i guess impress and its cute but like.... Trust me pal theres better #Girls to impress and i am always looking your way you got nothing to prove to me #Miranda talking shit

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probably-haven · 3 years

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after binge reading i have come to a new revelation: I’m not a fan of most Xiaoven fanfics

Don’t get me wrong, I love the ship and its one of my favorite to think about.... but most of the fanfiction for the ship just- doesn’t sit right with me for a number of reasons.

Disclaimer: these are personal opinions from my own taste and are in no way an attack against any authors out there, because frankly fanfic authors are great and not like i could do better lol. As these are personal opinions, I acknowledge here and now that a number of people disagree and that they are under no obligation to change their opinions in any way as it is not and never will be my intention to tell others what they should be thinking That said- read at your own risk if you want- meh, anyway-

time to share some opinions that have been on my mind lately

The biggest reason.... is how they handle Xiao. And I don’t even mean mischaracterization because Xiao is such a complex and yet simultaneously simple character that as long as you’re somewhere in the range of “Xiao vibes” it’s really hard to write him out of character because of his complexities. What I mean is something that i actually completely agree with as being accurate to his character. In nearly every single fanfic I’ve seen, there is some element of idolization that Xiao has for Venti, or for the sake of reference, Barbatos. He tends to think himself beneath Barbatos and/or indebted to him, whether that be because he’s an archon, because he saved him, or simply because of Xiao’s tendency to dehumanize(yes i see the irony in that word usage) himself. This by itself isn’t an issue but its often how this trait of his is treated.

Imma just list a few ways I’ve seen this be handled within Xiaoven fics. - It isn’t handled, it’s just there and accepted as a part of who he is in the story - It isn’t handled but his trait is treated as source of humor within the story - Venti(and others) roll with it (finding humor in it, just cant change it, encouraging it, making jokes about it, etc.) - Venti takes advantage of it(whether accidentally or purposely) - it’s actually addressed(by Venti or someone else or the narration- can go a number of ways, but just- even a brief reference to the fact that its not a good mindset fits in here) - savior!Venti(Where venti disagrees with it but the way it’s written gives off “god among mortals” vibes- like he’s just being humble and truly is above him in reality) - its the focus of the story - not directly addressed but shown to be destructive. - they chose not to not include this in the story’s characterization of Xiao(just saying that this is valid ahead of time) Theres others but i have a lot already. Note that I tend to read more ‘serious-toned’(idk if that makes sense) fics so that may skew my perception

Now there’s a few that i have issues with on their own- both instances of it not being handled, Venti(and others) rolling with it, Venti takes advantage of it(purposely(and without good intent)), and savior!Venti. Xiao not only has this trait, but he is unfamiliar with what is normal in relationships or emotions as a result of isolation and inexperience. He is also either not aware of or not concerned with what is considered strictly “healthy.” Combining these makes for a rather dangerous combination and just accepting it as “oh he’s just like that, it’s who he is” or making it out to be something funny- It’s not wrong or bad by any means necessarily, and I could still possibly enjoy it to an extent depending on a series of different factors, but its- not as often. Even in the case where I do enjoy reading it however, I would still feel uncomfortable sharing it with or recommending it to others because in the first instance it feels like normalizing a destructive and dangerous mindset, and in the second case it does the same while simultaneously making a joke of it. It’s the same deal with Venti or other characters rolling with it, but that’s probably gonna be mentioned later too. Not to say that this is a “wrong” way to handle it, that it makes the fic bad, or that authors even are normalizing anything by doing so, just that in my specific instance- not a fan.

I’ll get to the others when i talk more about Venti, but for now: It’s the focus of the story. I think I saw like... 2? where the story was like- focused on this and why its a problem which- power to them, address those real world problems like a boss- but also i wouldn’t actively seek it out or anything- like, good job, but doing so just leaves it open neutrally for other factors to decide how good a story i think it is.

not directly addressed but shown to be destructive. You’d think i wouldn’t like this- but frankly in fanfiction not everyone wants to address every character flaw verbally because it can through off story, narration, dialogue, and general flow to do so. This can be with an event, an action, a dialogue, a mere comment, making it actually fit into the it’s actually addressed category except that its- subtle enough to make its own category. plus i live for show not tell- in everything- its a thing. im- very much a fan of when the fics do this but the subtlety is easy to miss and its not common so-

It’s actually adressed- doesnt have to be a lot- just mention anywhere or imply anywhere that maybe idolizing someone as a god and savior and being in a relationship with them while having little knowledge of standards, emotions, relationships, or healthy behaviors in general- maybe isnt the smartest idea in the word. (”Call me Venti, not Barbatos” by itself is not enough to fit in this category tho as a note)

Now lets talk about Venti...

uh.... those who have followed me for awhile will probably already know this but... I have a lot of opinions on Venti and a pretty- “niche(?)” perception of his characterization that isn’t shared by a lot of others- so I don’t actually read as much Venti fanfic in general as you might expect because I often end up disagreeing with how writers portray him, which again, in no way is their characterization wrong, but- “their perceived truth” conflicts with “my perceived truth” and by extent so does the characterization, though neither is any more correct than the other from an objective point of view, if that makes sense... but anyways now that that’s said, moving on before this becomes a philosophy lecture, as fun as that would be for me. I’ll try to keep my “perceived truth” out of this for the first bit.

Venti’s response to this:

He rolls with it: this depends on the mood of the fanfiction. If they dont put a lot of stress on that trait of Xiao’s it totally fine but if the trait seems to be a major part of Xiao’s character, it seems like normalization once more. (more on this later)

he takes advantage of it purposely: if its an AU or something and Venti’s like a villain(i saw a few) then- villain venti isnt my cup of tea but i have no qualms. If they don’t portray Venti in a negative light while having him take advantage however that’s a bit uncomfortable to read for me because it feels like normalizing taking advantage of that mindset as well as the mindset itself. However, i did see a number of instances of Venti using it as leverage for like- self care- which i definitely have no qualms. Xiao: [insert probably destructive idolizing statement about being indebt] Venti: How bout you pay me back by actually sleeping for once smh or other variations are okay and depending on the vibe are actually a really fun dynamic as long as it doesnt turn into romanticizing or normalizing it, y’know?

Venti accidentally taking advantage of it.... I love angst- and in most of these theres a sense of guilt when he realizes- and i just think thats a lovely way of addressing the dangers of such a mindset for both sides. As long as it doesn’t keep repeating to the point of romanticization its totally cool to read in my eyes(not irl ofc). If Venti never realizes he accidentally took or is taking advantage it feels a bit like normalization, and if he does but just- doesn’t care thats- a rip.

savior!Venti...... i- i hate. the story giving off vibes that Xiao’s mindset is technically correct while Venti oh so humbly tells him to treat him as an equal like the wonderful and charitable person he is.... i just- no. of course thats over dramatizing it- I think the main thing that gives it this vibe is when Venti doesn’t seem either concerned, surprised, uncomfortable, or otherwise have a negative feeling towards Xiao’s mindset. Just- it makes the whole thing weird in my eyes when Venti doesnt really seem to have his own reason to oppose the mindset idk-

fact time!

Venti is the god of freedom. His backstory is freeing Mondstadt from a god’s tyrannical reign. His origin is a windsprite, just another breeze bringing changes for the better. His form is a nameless boy who played an instrument and then died, thus failing at his only dream and only ever accomplishing anything because of the help of others. He slept for a thousand years after the archon war to avoid putting Mond under the rule of yet another tyrannical god. He only even became a god because Andrius chose to let him. He wouldn’t have even had that chance if the nameless bard had survived, he’d remain just another wind while his friend ascended to godhood. Venti sacrifices his own power for his people’s freedom.

now that I’ve laid out a number of canon facts, time for opinions:

Venti has little to no desire to be seen as a god. He thrives in, comes from, and emphasizes a lack of superiority in quite nearly everything. The first Ragnvindir, who canonically turned his back on Venti after Decarabian’s fall, likely did so because one- he anticipated power would corrupt and Venti would soon become just another tyrannical god, two- he suspected Venti used the nameless bard in an attempt to rise to godhood, or three- idk insert other possibilities to acknowledge again that i could totally be wrong.

Look me in the eyes and tell me Venti wouldnt trade godhood for his friend in an instant. His godhood was only granted to him because his friend died and could easily serve to constantly remind him of what could have been and what he lost. Venti takes no enjoyment from being seen as superior and in my opinion, I feel that it could actually make him largely uncomfortable when his divinity and abilities as an archon get involved-

also self promotion for my favorite posts- check out #archon war era venti if thats interesting to you

so anyway Venti rolling with it or making jokes about it just doesn’t sit right with me.-

Okay! enough talking about that mindset!

idk- i have... a few/lot of other gripes and stuff or just things that kinda throw off the vibe for me but that’s the main one plus my general personal pickiness when it come to Venti fanfics- but this has gotten long enough already-

idk i just felt like rambling about it and i haven’t done a long post in a while so-

again, I love the ship and its actually one of my favorites- just the fanfic isnt my thing..... that doesn’t mean i don’t still love it and come up with a whole ton of brainrot and ideas on it tho lmao

#genshin impact #genshin xiao #genshin venti #xiaoven #genshin barbatos #opinions #discourse #? idk ill tag it just in case #dont mind my constant backtracking and justifying and repeated disclaimers-#i just have a crippling fear of being cancelled lol

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creweemmaeec11 · 3 years

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I’ve been thinking about getting a pet rat, do you have any tips or what to start researching??

Absolutely! Pet rats are fantastic!

Heres a bunch of general info!

They are easy to care for, super interactive and intelligent, they can be trained to do tricks, mine are shoulder trained, which means I put them on my shoulder and just leave them there while I walk around and do whatever else, and they just sit and watch and hang out and it's great (they have awesome balance) and they love it. They can even be litter trained.

What rat should you get?

The first thing to know, is you can never, ever, have only 1 rat.

You NEED to get at least 2.

They are very social animals, and they need a friend. I can not stress this enough. Under no circumstance should you be buying a single rat.

Having only a single rat, on top of being just generally cruel, leads to behavior problems, depression, aggression, anxiety and just a really bad time for both the rat and the owner. Most rat breeders will actually refuse to sell you single rat baby unless you already have rats and your looking on simply getting another one. Please do not buy a single rat.

The next thing to consider is whether you want males or females. There is actually a big difference between their behaviors, potential health problems, and even diets.

-Male rats tend to be more lazy, cuddly, and want to spend more time with you. However, they do smell more, as they scent mark. Males should never eat anything citrusy, (lemons, oranges, ect) as studies show it increases chances of tumors.

-Females tend to be more energetic and playful and just want to go,go,go. They don't want to be held as much, and good luck getting them to stay still long enough to cuddle. They smell less, though. They can have bits of citrus, but most reccomend to just steer clear of it regardless. Females are also prone to mammory tumors (how I lost hex) unless spade at a young age.

Some health tips for both genders:

-They can eat pretty much anything, I often call mine "glorified greenbins". They love supper leftovers, scraps, ect. One of their favour treats is the bones from cooked chicken(good for grinding down teeth too)

-in general, avoid things with too much protein and try to keep it low in their diet (so dont give them too much meat) protein has been linked to hair loss, tumors, and other health problems

-stay away from peanutbutter or other sticky foods unless its watered down. Rats don't have a gag reflex, and thus can't dislodge something if they choke. Many risk it, but it's not worth the risk in my opinion.

If you have a cat or dog, make sure their cage is in a place your other pets cant pester and scare them.

Their cage

Just some quick tips and info:

While rats don't need a big cage, the tiny hamster cage the guy at the pet store will try and sell you won't cut it, esspecially once they are full grown. I personally recommend Critter Nation cages (as most people do, they are the community standard) but they are expensive new. Search facebook marketplace or other sites for second hand cages, they are a great way to get a good cage cheap.

Rats will chew through any cage that isnt metal, they can't be kept in plastic bottomed cages either.

Rats need airflow. Most rat owners of the western world strongly disagree with keeping rats in tanks.

It's important your rats have at least one place to hide, somewhere out of site they can go if they feel stressed or scared.

Toys! Rats are very intelligent, and need stimulation! They arent picky though. While you can buy fancy toys, they also don't mind diy (theres plenty) or even just some cardboard boxes, pompoms, cardboard tubes, fabric scraps like old destroyed clothing cut up, socks, ect! (I could make a whole nother post on great rat toy ideas alone)

Rats are great climber and jumpers, something to keep in mind while arranging their cage

I'm ready to get my rats, where do I get them?

I'd personally urge you to avoid big pet store chains, as those rats are typically mass bred with little care. Leople have bought females that turned out to be pregnant, rats that had mites, ect. Search online to find local rat breeders. These rats are bred to be healthy, handled daily as babies, ect. They will be more expensive, but will have less health and behavioral problems and will typically live longer (trust me, I learned the hard way)

Other things to keep in mind and be aware of:

people don't like rats. Especially elders. I've heard it all, many claim you'll catch diseases from them (despite the fact theyve lived in their cage their whole live and have been bred to be pets. Where would they have caught the disease to give to me in the first place? Its idiotic and completly false) I've had family members comment rude things of their photos, "I'd scream if there was a rat on my shoulder" ect. (If you rent, you may have problems with other tenants or the property owner, worried about them "getting loose in the walls" or some sh*t)Don't let idiots sway you. Rats are wonderful, very clean and intelligent animals. Just be prepared to defend your babies, and teach/show people to give them the respect they deserve.

rats don't have a long life span, and while some can live to be around 5, most only live about 2 years. Just understand this.

Know you will make mistakes, and that's okay. Every single pet owner has and will make mistakes. You will learn.

Anyway, that about sums up my little spiel, but here are the basic topics to research when thinking about getting rats:

How to care for pet rats

Rat diet and limitations

Things to know about pet rats

There are many, many good resources online! I also reccomend joining some rat facebook groups. The people in them are super nice and informative to questions, and its wonderful having a community behind you, and have somewhere to go with any questions!

I hope this helped! If your thinking about getting rats as pets, I encourage you to! Just do your research. They make wonderful pets and companions.

Also know that I'm not an expert, or a vet, I'm still learning everyday. This is just what I've learned via owning them. I urge you to do your own research into some of the things I mentioned here.

#rats #pet rats

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diavolosthots · 3 years

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As much as I enjoy reading romance docs of the boys with mc I was wondering how they would react to a teen mc... 🤔 like a more brotherly love and all... if that’s ok, I’m just a sucker for fluff and comfort fics!!!

Definitely not sexually 💀💀💀

THE BROTHERS reacting to Teenage!MC

Lucifer:

Theres hope for you! He sees this as a great opportunity to both discipline you and also beat someone other than mammon lol. Jk okay so heres the thing; most teens are brats. He has no tolerance for brats. You wont get away with your behavior and he will most likely turn into that strict father figure that has your curfew set for like sundown, precisely. However, hes also more lenient on you than Mammon so you got that going for you!

Mammon:

This can go one of two ways: either you'll become best friends or he has nothing to do with you and keeps up the "why do i have to take care of them" act. It depends entirely on what type of teen you are. Will act as an older brother and still tries to be your favorite, but he won't be... The cool older brother of that makes sense. Hes your favorite, sure, but he wont actually do anything to earn that. Chances are, you're more different than connected.

Leviathan:

Its so much easier to actually be social with someone who, most likely, hates socializing as much as he does, especially since as of now (2020) you're Gen Z and we all know that generation is a mess, and you quickly become friends. Also video games for days? Lucifer will end up scolding because Leviathan causes you to either slack heavily or fail all together. Not that Levi cares but... For your sake, let's stop after this round.

Satan:

Depends. Are you annoying? No? Good. Are you thirsty for knowledge like him? Okay so now we're talking. Just dont be the average american teen who thinks theyre cooler than everyone because he can promise you that theres no way youre cooler than him. Hes the coolest. The coolest cucumber in the cooler. But... He can show you a few tricks and he will definitely "borrow" you to get on Lucifer's nerves. He wont save you from the consequences.... But he'll use you.

Asmodeus:

Oh! Friends dont know age! You can still be his gossip buddy. Oh what was that? You hate gossip? Well let him just tell you this one thing that he totally didn't hear from Satan that just happened to cross his mind..... Anyway! He's the fun wine aunt by default and he will make sure you look your absolute best, always. Even in sweats and a tang top. Also gives you top 10/10 dating advice but also doesnt encourage uh... More intimate things. Keep it cute for y'all kiddos!

Beelzebub:

He uhm... He doesnt really know how to act? Are you just another younger sibling? Yeah you know lets go with that. He wont always be there and your relationship might not be as close but you can still count on him and lunch outings are a must at least once a month. If you're a troublemaker, hes more likely to stick out and not get involved. Let Lucifer handle that. But if you're chill and easy going, you'll have a chill and easy going relationship.

Belphegor:

Oh boy. Listen he doesnt care if you're a teen, tween, or from a porn magazine, he'll avoid you and miss like half your life in the Devildom. You cant count on him unless you want to join the Lucifer hate club haha in which case you, him, and Satan will become the ultimate trio. But even outside of that... Chances are he won't really connect with you until youre a little older. Hes just not really a kid demon, and teens are still kids.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me headcanons #obey me scenarios #asmodeus obey me #obey me lucifer #mammon obey me #leviathan obey me #obey me satan #beelzebub obey me #belphegor obey me #cheys headcanons

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sashayaweh · 3 years

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Sam and Bucky dance to this song after having to take refuge in a safe house during a particularly high stakes mission. Theres a record player and Sam makes this necessary senior citizen taunts when he catches Bucky's frequent glances towards where it sits on the wooden shelf. Eventually, Sam walls over to fiddle with it because Bucky insists on faking disinterest, but Sam really wants to see him being not-so-boring for once. It was rare to see the other man take interests in his surroundings, barring the hyperawareness that he had for every environment he found himself in.

Sam could almost imagine Bucky's robo-brain whirring to calculate all the exits, people, and vantage points for any possible threat. He never seemed to fully relax. Even sitting in a chair, he sat stiffly as if he was ready to leap out at at any moment. Sam could understand. He wasn't brainwashed and weaponized for 70 years, sure. But he has seen war and death. Things he'd rather forget. And he's felt fear. The initial fear of the thousand foot free falls, the fear of the police and the banks, and the fear of losing himself in it all. So, Sam gets the mental burden and understands how hard it is to leave once you're in.

So, he fiddles with the record player and pretends not to know how to work it. There's no other records visible, but luckily one is still in place. Bucky would eventually get irritated and put everything into place because he knows what Sam is doing. And he knows that Sam knows. Because Sam knows everything. Bucky assumes this from the amount of time the other man spends talking. So, he puts the record on like old times and ignores the lump trying to force its way up and the memories that resurface. Steve-

"You're lucky, man. Etta James, and a classic at that, talk about a two for one. Looks like our luck it starting to turn around, CP30," Sam smile toothily and Bucky wants to do do something to that gap in his teeth. He doesn't quite know what that is yet. Maybe punch it because Sam knows he doesn't understand that obvious reference. But Sam's smile soften to a close, and the corners curl at the edges as his head begins to sway with the notes. Like silk curtains, his eyes slip close in simple pleasure as if he was settling himself into the music.

Bucky watches and feels awkward. At some point, in the past, he would know what to do in the situation. He would know what to do with the violins and the soulful tones curling words of longing into the air. And tired fulfillment. Maybe, he would know what to do with Sam but he doubts it. Or at least how to...be himself. Maybe then they wouldn't argue for once. Sam opens his eyes and looks over to see Bucky who stood, stone faced and deep in thought. The focus of his hooded stare was intense and Sam scoffed. The other man was being broody again.

"Are you even listening to the music or did you zone out again?" He shifts, slightly elbowing his companion and Bucky blinks, his thoughts shifting back to the present.

"You started talking, I couldn't help myself," Bucky quips and Sam let's out a soft scoft that becomes a short laugh. Bucky feels his own lips twitch.

"You gotta relax, man. You could beat a piñata with the stick you have up your ass," Sam shakes his head. That wide tooth smile is back but this time its less cocky and a little more warm. Bucky rolls his eyes and looks away. He does that a lot. At least he understood the reference this time.

Sam sighs and stops the music. He replaces the needle at the original point and let's it go. After a few seconds of crackling silence, the song fills the room again. Sam slaps the back of his hand gently against Bucky's chest and steps back with a mischievous grin on his face.

"Wanna dance, old man?"

Bucky gently freezes in shock but Sam catches it because he expected it, really. Its why he asked in the first place. He wants to shake up that tightly wound exposure that Bucky has at all times. And he was bored. Bucky was not a talkative person and their current predicament left them without many sources for entertainment. It'd been hours since they arrived, yet Sam was feeling the time pass under his skin like an itch. He was exhausted and body weary, but it was better to stay awake so he could orient to the new time zone. As a result, he couldn't help but pester the other man.

"No."

Sam just kept looking at him. His gaze was sleepy, but a twinkle of the earlier mischief still shined through. Similarly, his skin reflected the warmth of the sun as it clung to the early evening and seeped through the windows. It was lucky that they got to be above ground this time.

The staring lasted a long moment. Like it always did. Then Sam shrugged.

"I know dancing may not be a particular talent of yours-" but before he could finish, Bucky was in his space and the rest of Sam's sentenced disappeared with some of his bravado. Bucky was fast and his sudden closeness wasn't expected given the man's reservations a second ago. The sudden adrenaline that had sparked through Sam's started to fade too. He wasn't scared of his companion, but the man's behavior was largely still a mystery to Sam which meant that sometimes he was caught off-guard.

Bucky raised his right hand out, brow arched expectantly, and Sam took it with caution. The man's other hand rose to hover a few inches above Sam's hip, and it took a few moments before he realized Bucky was waiting for permission. His cheeks warmed and he hoped his complexion made it less obvious. He gently guided the metal hand until Bucky settled it on the jut of his hip, the surface cool and smooth under his soft hold.

"Aren't you a gentleman? Thats that old-school chivalry," Sam teased. Bucky pulled their bodies closer and smirked wryly.

"I aim to please." A new song had started and Bucky briefly tore his attention from the heat he felt spreading along his front. He hadn't danced in a long time. Not like this.

The current song featured a masculine husk crooning affections for the listener. It was accompanied by the distinct, steady tempo of a piano. Bucky felt his body catch the music, the way he'd been taught, quickly adjusting to an appropriate rhythm. Sam followed without much of a pause, finally starting to settle into the feelings of sharing this foreign intimacy with the familiar stranger who was holding him so damn gently. Even so, Bucky gripped him firmly like he'd catch Sam if he even thought about falling.

It was...nice. Nicer than Sam (or either of them, really) had expected. He hadn't been held in who knows how long. He was too busy and had mostly outgrown flings, but it wouldn't be fair to a potential partner if he randomly left on long missions that required little to no contact with those who didn't have the clearance. But that was kind of an excuse. Since everything that had happened, Sam hasn't much felt like having others in his space. He was a social person and owned that, sure. But it was hard to open up authentically as much as he teased Bucky about his tendency to isolate himself. He tries to take the advice he regularly gives to the veterans he takes under his wing. Its enough to sustain his close relationships, including whatever he has going on with One Armed Wonder, but he has little energy to offer anyone else. He has to remind himself that thats okay.

Without thinking, Sam realized he had sunk his head into the crook of Bucky's shoulder. He had started to drift, still following the gentle sways of his partner's body like a boat welcoming the gentle rocking of small waves after a storm. Bucky hadn't said anything, luckily, so Sam remains in his position and enjoys the comforting sounds of soul that has wrapped around them.

He had finally put Bucky onto some real good conditioner after growing sick of the greasy tresses the man sported as the Winter Soldier. No judgement. Its hard to have a solid hair care routine as an international assassin for magic super Nazis. But now, it smelled like honeyed coconuts instead of the scentless, dollar brands he used to buy at random. Even though Bucky's hair was shorter, Sam still caught wiffs of it near his neck. It was more noticeable this close given the man's lack of cologne.

Bucky had noticed earlier when Sam's head dipped into his shoulder. Shortly after, he though he had heard soft snores, but the man's body had otherwise remained upright and solid like usual. He had continued to follow the pattern they'd set, so Bucky had just shifted his hand to his partner's lower back to provide support and kept their pace steady. Otherwise, he lost himself in the heat of Sam's hand and the confusing stillness that had settled in his chest. He felt...anchored. But that was Sam. He was strong and steady, and reliable, but just as capable of sinking as anyone else without the support he inarguable deserved. The support Bucky tried to provide.

Steve was gone now. He'd left the both of them to figure out the aftermath of everything that had happened. Bucky wondered if it hurt Sam like it hurt for him. He didn't blame his Steve; couldn't begrudge him that act of selfishness after all they'd been through. Without Rogers' strong presence between them, they had been left to scramble in the gap and reshape it for two. Sam had his family and Bucky had his therapist, but nobody could understand the them as much as the other, as different as they are. So here they are, slow dancing in a safehouse Rhodes had been generous enough to lend them on short notice. He was amicable towards Bucky, but the generosity was really for Sam. Bucky's neck itched, likely with dried sweat, and he sighed internally. He needed a shower.

The man worked his hand against Sam's lower back instinctually and the other man responds with a questioning hum tinged with sleepiness. Bucky doesnt have an answer so they continue in silence. The song had changed. It was a woman again. She was singing the Blues, if Bucky guessed correctly. He's been picking up more of the music Sam liked. It could be relaxing but full-bodied one moment or rich and thrilling the next.

So far, he has only worked his way up the mid-80s. Sam jokesthat his sensitive hearing isnt prepared for the young and hip tastes that dominate the charts, but he'll still sneak recent artists into his recommendations so Bucky isnt completely "out of the loop." Like always, Bucky would just roll his eyes, but now and again he closes them and try to imagine what Sam felt when listened to the music. Wonders at the connections the man shares with the melodies, and the histories curved into the lyrics. Some things, he couldn't ever understand, even if he tries. So, other times, he just listens.

Now, he's curled over his partner's slightly shorter stature, nose brushing the other man's temple. Sam was not a small man. He was built like a brick house. His upper body was strong, but his lower half was thick with muscle and padded by soft curves of flesh. Probably because he only does legs. Meanwhile, Bucky's own body is near the opposite: wide, sturdy chest that tapers to a firm waist and steady, straight legs. They contrast nicely, Bucky thinks. Filling up the spaces the other doesn't. For two people of their size, they still manag to fit snugly with little space between their bodies. Any closer, and Bucky isn't sure how he'd handle the proximity. He feels lulled into the calmness of the evening that had unexpectedly crept up on them in the quiet of everything around them, save for the music.

The two danced a bit longer, but eventually Sam's body grew too weary after the lack of sleep. With hesitancy, they quietly parted after the final notes of the song slipped from the record player. Bucky turns stopped the music while Sam flops into the nearby couch. His growing exhaustion does not stop him from throwing a smirk Bucky's way which the man met with his regular deadpan stare.

"Not bad. Not a single hip replacement necessary. I'd say thats a success for two old men." Sam quipped. Bucky stayed silent.

"You're not old," he finally said. He hadn't moved from his spot by the record player.

"Hmmm. Well, compared to you, 42 isn't that old." Sam lets his eyes close again but Bucky clears his throat, causing one of them to open in question.

"There's a bedroom upstairs," he explains carefully. They've been on the move for some time now with little time for real rest. If Sam was going to finally sleep then it should be in a real bed, at least.

Sam lets out out a quick laugh, "if you think you can butter me up with a dance-"

Bucky cuts off his teasing with a quick glare. If there was ever a moment being the Winter Soldier has served him, it was now. Otherwise, the heat he could feel trying to redden his ears would send Sam into a fit of hysterics.

"I did a perimeter check when we arrived. There's three bedrooms upstairs. All of them have en-suites bathrooms so take your choice," Bucky grumbles out, avoiding eye contact with his counterpart. The earlier stillness he had felt was slowly disappearing now that they were interacting again. His nerves were more taxed than before. He'll analyze that later. Maybe with his therapist, but she was kind of petty, so maybe not.

Sam's teasing smirk has settled into something a little more kind as he rises frim his seat and crosses the room to where Bucky stands. He roughly claps the other man's arm a couple of times before settling the familiar weight of his hand at the ball of Bucky's shoulder.

"I'm just messing with you, man. Thanks though. That couch would do my back in after being thrown by that explosion. Luckily, you were there to provide some cushioning," he says with that toothy smile. Before Bucky can respond, Sam bids him goodnight and slowly makes his way upstairs. Bucky watches him go, dry-mouthed and slightly confused. Once Sam has completely disappeared from view, Bucky takes in his surroundings and feels the emptiness of the room without Wilson's presence.

He'll do one more perimeter check then turn in for the night. Even he can feel the pullings of sleep. Maybe tonight, he'll dream about dancing.

#Spotify #sam wilson #bucky barnes #sambucky #winterfalcon #tfatws #fatws #this was not supposed to be a fic #but it turned into one #mcu marvel #cliche #fics #edit later

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turnaboutyandere · 3 years

Note

Ace attorney characters when you pack a bento box (boxed lunch) for them:

(In japan that's a indirect expression of love and in this case a confession)

Phoenix gets it right away. He smiles and blushes. And as he kisses y/n for the first time realizes he might not need to chase rivals away. Out of all of them hes probably the softest receiving a bento box. He jumps straight to calling you his girlfriend. Phoenix thinks about it all day and when he opens it come lunchtime and finds a little love note above his rice he tears up.

(Also if you make two, one for him and one for trucy he will melt)

Miles DOESNT get it right away. He doesnt understand why, when he has so much money, y/n would feel the need to pack him a lunch. He doesnt understand why his confusion causes y/n such a blush for a good five minutes. By the time he remembers the cultural significance they already left. He texts them something between sweet and formal. At noon (though I think he does have a tendency to skip lunch to work) he opens it and finds a little love note. He feels a lot of things at once and just like him ends up very smug

Franziska is silent for a second. It's not that she understands the implications, it completely flies over her head. No shes quiet cause she believes she should be taking care of you and not vice versa. Then she tells y/n to set it on the table, and is very confused when they leave the room practically skipping. It isn't until shes having lunch and her brother and gumshoe walk into the room to give her paperwork does she understand. Her brother asks her were she got it (idk if she's a good cook or would bother learning Japanese cooking) and when she relays your confounding behavior miles has the nerve to laugh. Then gumshoe surprisingly explains it to her. She turns pink and carefully opens it. Sure enough theres a love note in a sealed bag to keep it clean. That evening she buys a locket.

You have to know Diego for a very long time before he let's you cook for him. And he will never again accept open drinks from anyone. So y/n ever the sweetie invites him over in the early morning and hopes it doesnt irritate him. ( it doesnt cause hes already normally there). When he shows up y/n invites him in and leads him to the kitchen and they cook together so he can see whats in everything. He doesnt admit it but it makes him feel like they're married. It's when she hands him not his lunch but a bottled coffee still sealed does he go from crushing to love. Though he didnt like the extra sugar and milk in Japanese bottled coffee, they validated his trauma and therefore is not getting rid of him now.

Dahlia is an odd case. She pretends to not understand. She laughs her laugh like silver bells and thanks them as sweet as she can but I dont think she actually eats it. She worries shes been found out. That your trying to poison her. I can see her being better safe than sorry. Still she opens it to take a picture to post on her social media and sees the love note. She reads it once then again. And smiles sly. Her plan was working

Iris on the other hand completely understands and let's you know she knows. She asks if their seriously ok with dating someone already under oaths and vows. If thier ok respecting such boundaries. When y/n nods she begins to cry. At lunch time when she opens it she begins to cry again for two reasons

1) it's made specifically with her eating restrictions in mind. Y/n did their research

And

2) the love note. Oh goodness the love note. Never before has such a small paper made a girl so happy.

Wocky feels guilty that you pulled the bento thing first. His parents are Japanese and run a cafe and he couldn't make you a bento. When he voices his concerns and they take it as him accepting the confession and kiss him he feels a little better. He normally eats what his parents make for lunch but today. Is different. When he finds the love note he cries. He feels safe with s/o for the first time. Alita never wrote love notes or cooked lunches.

Mia the sweet women she is, flushed but tries to stay somewhat level headed, somewhat her normal level of cool. She sets it on her desk and takes y/n into her arms. She doesn't ask if they mean it cause shes scared they dont. That...it would destroy her, so she doesnt give them a chance. She would return the favor the next day but imagine be honest. I dont think she can cook either. She keeps the love note with everything else that reminds her if y/n. In a jewelry box under a floorboard.

Klavier doesnt understand it.... Much like franziska, he has no clue. But In a way he does? He knows this is something y/n put time and effort and money into, all for him. So he accepts it, calling y/n beautiful in the process. He doesnt get the fact that it was a confession...at first. Then he Googles what it means and sure enough it was a confession. And hes relieved cause he had accepted it and complimented them. He had agreed to their confession.

(before anyone says it, yes, I know Kristoph isn’t actually German, but I don’t care. Capcom can rip my “the Gavins are German” headcanon from my cold, dead hands)

Aight, so, ya girl is back. I’m gonna keep the ask box closed for a bit until I clear out all the asks I have (and finish a request) so please be patient. Thank you!

Damon: Doesn’t get it right away, but thinks it’s sweet that you made him lunch. He may google it later assuming he knows how to use google or ask someone about it, which is how he finds out the meaning behind it. Rather than make you a bento box in return, he’ll get you a bouquet of roses and invite you to join him for dinner instead. Between the roses, though, you’ll find a cute little love note with a smiley face scribbled onto it.

Shelly: He’s been around the block a few times, so he likely knows what it means. He’ll thank you and give you a peck on the cheek, promising to make you lunch as well. Once he finishes eating, he’ll put the note somewhere safe so he can reread it whenever he wants.

Matt: Has a security guard try it before he does, for safety reasons. Once he sees how upset you are by that, he’ll apologize and ask you to explain the meaning behind it (he knows he fucked up lmao). After you explain it, he’ll apologize (while being so fucking smug internally) and thank you for the lunch. He can’t cook to save his life, so don’t expect him to return the favor, but he will leave you a little note where you can find it; something along the lines of “I love you, dude <3“.

Kristoph: Prides himself on knowing a little about everything, so for him not to know the meaning behind your gift is unlikely. He’ll happily accept it and give you a gentle kiss on the forehead, all while hiding how smug he feels. He’ll also give you bento box in return, but with German cooking instead of Japanese. Oh, and that little love note you put in there? Expect to find a three page-long love letter in your lunch.

Ray: Pretty knowledgeable about romantic traditions around the world, so the chances of him getting it are pretty high. He’ll thank you for it rather sheepishly, as this is one of the few times you’ll get to see him flustered. Once he reads the note, though, he’ll pull you into a big hug, tears brimming at the corners of his eyes. Afterwards, he’ll immediately set out to make you a bento box in return, or take you out to dinner if you prefer.

Sebastian: Bless his dense heart, he’s clueless. He’ll be very thankful though, and promise to make you something in return (despite his nonexistent cooking skills). He’ll likely eat it at work and brag about how you made it for him, which is when Miles steps in to explain the meaning behind it. That + the love note is enough to make him cry tears of joy, and he’ll tackle you in a hug the moment he gets the chance to.

Simon K: Doesn’t know how to feel at first because he’s never had someone make him lunch before. Once he sees the note inside, though, he realizes what it means and becomes even more emotionally confused than before. He’ll thank you, rather awkwardly, and promise to make something for you. He’s not much of a wordsmith but he’ll still add a note, expressing how grateful he is for the lunch.

Katherine: Will be on the verge of tears when you give her the bento box, and will flat-out start crying when she reads the love note. She’ll cling to you, thanking you profusely and promising to make you one as well. She keeps her word and makes you a wonderful bento box the very next day. Instead of a love note, however, you’ll receive a song she wrote about you (and she’ll even sing it to you while you eat).

Bobby: Another very dense yandere who is definitely going to get scolded by Blackquill for not understanding what your gift means. He’ll make up for it though, by going above and beyond to make you the best bento box you’ve ever eaten (it won’t be the prettiest and he’ll likely have burned something, but it’s the thought that counts, right?). He’ll also keep your love note on his bedside table so he can read it every night before bed and every morning when he wakes up.

Simon B: He’s a huge weeaboo Japanese cultural enthusiast, so he’ll get it right away. He’ll tease you about it and act cocky as usual, but in reality, he’s trying to hide the very obvious blush on his face. He’ll keep your note safely tucked away in his coat pocket for whenever he wants to reread it. He won’t return the favor right away, though. Instead, he’ll give it to you when you least expect it in order to fluster you.

______

- Mod Dollie

#letters to the mod

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irondadfics · 4 years

Note

Do you have any long irondad fics you'd recommend? I really want to settle down with a good muti-chapter fic, I'd love to know your favourites!

LONG FIC REC LIST PART 2

I know some of you are stuck inside due to be quarantined right now, and I really hope each and every one of you are doing alright. Please stay inside if you can and be safe!

To help pass the time, here’s a continuation of one of our older lists (be sure to also check out part 1 for more recs). During hard times such as this, we often turn to different forms of art for entertainment and to help us cope. BE SURE TO LET THESE WONDERFUL AUTHORS KNOW THEY ARE APPRECIATED!

This list is organized by word count. Most of the fics listed below are complete but some are not. For example if the word count is encompassed by two asterisks it means the fic is not complete and is subject to change, but the word count is correct as of the day this list was posted.

ENJOY LOVELIES!!

The Guardian by Emily_F6 @justme–emily (234k+)

Guardian: a person who guards, protects, or preserves. When a terrible accident claims the life of May Parker, Tony Stark steps up as Peter’s guaridan. But it’s not just a traumatized super-teen he’ll have to worry about when he recieves a transmission from Thor.

If They Knew All About You by MsHermia (*224k+*)

Tony Stark had lost his son when he was only 2 years old, stolen away in broad daylight with nobody the wiser of what exactly happened. Years later, Tony has just made it through the disaster with Ultron. He is trying to keep himself and the team together but relationships are strained and tempers are running high.Then a random turn of events leads to his path crossing with that of a particular vigilante. They are strangers to each other, or so they think.Peter Parker is on top of the world. After a few shitty years, losing his parents and then losing his Uncle, things are finally looking up. Sure he lives in a crappy little apartment with his Aunt but he might have just found his mission in life.——This is an AU story obvious by some of the tags. I’m starting out a few weeks after Age of Ultron took place. Civil War will be a thing. Other than that I’m not too concerned about sticking to every canon detail and storyline.

The Third Option by Uncertainty_Principle (220k+)

Homecoming A/U. Ben and May divorced before Peter’s parents died, so when Ben is murdered Peter goes into foster care. It takes just a tiny taste of superpowers for Peter to decide he doesn’t want to put up with his horrible foster father anymore—the streets are infinitely more appealing. All he wants is to be Spider-Man anyway.So he leaves.Simple.Simple, that is, until Iron Man needs Spider-Man’s help. Peter isn’t about to turn down an opportunity to fight alongside Tony Freaking Stark, but he also isn’t going to let his hero know that his recruit is a fifteen-year-old homeless dropout. So they strike a deal. Peter will help Tony. In return, the mask stays on.And that’s when things get complicated.

Lights To Guide You Home (series) by JolinarJackson @jolinarjackson (185k+)

Tony becomes Peter’s guardian after May dies unexpectedly and over the course of a year, they learn to become a family.

hydra’s not a home (series) by tempestaurora @tempestaurora (139k+)

At 6 years old, the son of Tony and Pepper Stark, Peter, is kidnapped, never to be seen again. Or, so they thought. Ten years later, while raiding a HYDRA base, the Avengers come across a new, enhanced individual, working for the enemy: in black spandex, with a tendency to stick to walls and shoot webs from his wrists, the Black Spider is a pain in the ass in more ways than one.

built from scraps by peterstank @peter-stank (138k+)

“Everybody needs someone. That’s what you said, right?” Pepper meets his eyes and he’s struck by the way she’s almost pleading. “We both lost. We can help each other.”Her hand, palm up and open, stretches into the space between them.Peter hesitates.Then he takes it.or: the one where tony was dusted instead of peter, so he and pepper try to figure out the whole ‘family’ thing together.(oh, and it turns out that the man who died in peter’s arms on an alien planet is his biological father. who knew, right?)

rescue me from the waves (series) by homebuilding @marveal (*125k+*)

“Richard Parker was studying Cross-Species Genetics, but struggled with the ethics of it, because it required he use human DNA, which no ethics board would agree with. So he used his own. His work was successful based off of his own DNA, and every human has a unique DNA,” Bruce explains. “So, naturally, when HYDRA wanted his research, they knew they would never get his support, so they took the next best thing they could to his own DNA. His son.“Or, Tony finds a tortured and experimented-on Peter Parker in a HYDRA base and decides to help him because who else will?

more peril in thine eye by iron_spider @iron–spider (119k+)

Tony sits in relative darkness, the TV on mute, Friday running searches like she has been every day for the past month. A month, since Quentin Beck’s grand plan crumpled underneath him on that bridge. A month, since a flash of light was able to distract Peter just as he was about to bring Beck down. A month, since Beck snatched him, since both of them disappeared. An entire. Month.I’ll keep you updated. I promise.I love you, kid. Rhodey’s on his way, alright? He’s coming. He’s gonna go as fast as he can.I love you too. I’ll be okay. I promise. I can do this.The last thing Tony heard Peter say. Rhodey, Happy and Fury traversed the London landscape immediately afterwards. They found the glasses, but not Spider-Man. There was footage enough to incriminate Beck for what he was, but somehow, nobody was able to get a shot of when he grabbed Peter. Peter was knocking him around, looked like he was getting the upper hand, and then that flash of light. Gone. Gone.

I Never Knew I Was Broken by GotMyInkPen @gotmyinkpen (*111k+*)

Peter Parker has been living in HYDRA ever since his parents died at age four. All he can remember are the lesson’s HYDRA taught him and a series of words that strike fear into his heart. The only thing driving him forward are the memories of meeting his hero The Winter Soldier when he was seven and the goal to one day be as great an assassin as him.At age sixteen Peter finds himself tangled in the lives of the Avengers and can’t help but wonder if there’s more to life than what he’s been told.Tony wants to help him, no matter what.

Reviving Peter Parker by YellowDistress @yellowdistress (100k+)

Spider-Man was murdered five years ago, on a beach, at the hands of Adrian Toomes. Peter Parker never came home.Spider-Man was murdered five years ago. Today Peter Parker took his first breath.

It’s a Secret to Everybody by StarPrince_Punk @starprincepunk (97k+)

“I have kids,“ Clint said. “I know dad behavior when I see it.”Tony blinked multiple consecutive times, processing the statement. “Excuse me?”“Tony,” Steve said now, “how long have you had a son? And how come we’ve never known about him?”“Yeah,” Clint spoke again, “I thought I was the only one with a secret family. Turns out you’ve had one longer than me!”——-Peter gets to spend all summer living in Avengers Tower with Tony. When the Rogue Avengers get pardoned and come back to live at the Tower too, they’re confused as to who Peter is. However, once they see how Tony acts around Peter, that confusion goes away, as they know for certain who Peter must be - Tony’s secret son.Tony and Peter decide to make the most of the situation, and play along. They hope they can keep up the act all summer. But they soon learn that they barely have to act at all.

Peter and the Jailbirds by beautifullights @beautifullights1 (86k+)

NOW COMPLETE “If you did play chess,” Ross said, “you’d remember that a pawn can become a queen. The most powerful piece on the board, Parker, remember that? But—” Ross smiled— “only if it obeys.”He adjusted his tie, stood, and looked down at Peter. “I’ll ask you again,” he said. “Eventually. You may feel differently after you’ve been living in a six-by-six cube without sunlight or fresh air for a few years.” “What pawns do,” Peter said, voice shaking slightly, “is sacrifice themselves for the greater good. I have no regrets.”He had a lot of regrets.Like, a lot. A crapton. A shitload. An overloaded dumpsterful.“When I visit you on the Raft,” Ross said, “you’ll be old enough to grow a beard.” The cell door clicked shut behind him. [Rated mature for graphic violence.]

Hardest Lessons (Softest Results) (series) by mainstreamelectricalparade @riseuplikeglitterandgold (*76k+*)

The MCU if Peter was Tony’s biological child.

In the Home by aloneintherain (68k+)

The Avengers have been infected, turned violent and aggressive against their will. And Peter, the only one unaffected, is trapped inside the Tower with six feral teammates.“Natasha,” Peter says cautiously, “what happened here? Steve attacked me, and if there was ever a sign that something was wrong, it’s having the embodiment of Truth, Justice, and the American Way throw you across the room—”Natasha comes closer, her stride controlled. Nothing necessarily out of the ordinary, but there’s something in her face, in her eyes—Natasha lunges across the space, and slams into Peter, hard.

From Fraud to Father by TonyStarkissist @tonystarkissist (67k+)

“Tony,” she placated, “all you have to do is read a couple children’s books to them and answer a few of their questions. You’ll be fine.” “Will you come with me? You’re so good with kids,” he pleaded as she finished up with his collar and awkwardly patted the lapels of his suit down, forcing a smile onto her face when she looked up at him.“No. I’ve got a lot of work to do. Phil’s going with you, though, and so is Happy. You shouldn’t have a problem. They’ll make sure you don’t do anything stupid.”Theres a long pause before Tony finally voices his true concern.“But what if one of them sneezes on me?”

Archetype by Bean_reads_fanfic @the-reverse-mermaid (57k+)

Tony knows something is up when the research of ex-Hydra agents gets recycled in an underground Oscorp lab… what he doesn’t expect is the boy in a hospital gown sticking to the ceiling; or, how said boy proceeds to imprint on him like a baby duckling (a poor decision on his part, really). Did he mention he wasn’t intending on bringing home a kid that day?

Taking Leaps (and the falls that come with them) by Kamomile_Tea (*45k+*)

All across New York City the boroughs are crying out with one voice, asking a question everyone wants the answer to.Where is Spiderman?But no one is asking about Peter Parker.So, he sits alone. Contemplating how his life could have gone so downhill. Grief and nausea well up in his chest and the boy quickly shoves it back down. A shiver courses through him as the cold November air seeps into the building and through his thin clothing. And on the back of his navy blue overshirt, in blocky, white letters, reads the words:CROSSROADS JUVENILE CENTERBROOKLYN NYINMATE 3042 ========== The world seems content with ignoring this young teen. That is, until Tony Stark shows up and asks him if he wants to go to Germany.

Runaway by Spectra @iridescent-spectra (42k+)

Tony and his adopted son Peter get into a huge spat over his late night spiderman escapades, in which case Peter takes the term ‘Not while you’re under my roof’ way too seriously. After all, how hard could it be to run away from a multi billion dollar genius?Chaos ensues as the whole city becomes a metaphorical chessboard for the two equally stubborn masterminds.

#fic rec list #Favorite

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not-close-to-straight · 3 years

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The Peter Pan AU looks amazing!!! Honestly I had a though, Tinkerbell as none other than, Clint! CAN YOU IMAGINE THE SASS!!! Also how do Wade and Peter fall in love!! Cause I know they do!!

...that’s actually hilarious.

I hadn’t thought about opening it up to non-SM characters, but that would definitely solve alot of my “character holes” by filling in familiar faces even if they aren’t main characters....

SO one of the recurring themes in pretty much any version of Peter Pan is that he is sort of ridiculously lonely, but too stubborn/emotionally immature) to reach out and change things to make sure he is less lonely. And that makes sense, because he’s a literal child so how could he possibly know, right? He’s terrified of change even when the change could sort of fix his issues and he holds tight to certain beliefs/behaviors because he doesn’t know who he is without them.

SO as I was thinking about what would draw Hook and an older version of Pan together (because it has to be something real, not just convenience), I realized that the only person on the Island that had been through as much as Peter, who had seen as many seasons and all the changes, who had watched their friends live and die or move on while they always stayed the same.... is Hook.

Peter Pan and Hook are the sun and moon of Neverland. They are the god of the sky and the god of the proverbial underworld. Good and evil when neither side is actually good or evil, they simply exist in the ways that they do.

And THEN I thought what if-- just what if, one day when one of the oldest creatures (because Peter is ageless right) of the island sat in despair on one side of a big rock/tree/waterfall/whatever... and the other oldest creature (Hook) sat on the other side and maybe neither realized the other was there until one of them sort of exhaled and started talking just to get all their thoughts out into space because they didn’t know what else to do. And the other one ended up listening and realizing “holy shit, I understand so much of that” and then maybe the next time it happens, Peter takes a chance and says something first figuring if Hook gets mad, they can just fight and he can fly off, no harm no foul.

But Hook doesn’t get mad, he just listens. And eventually listening turns into full on conversations, but they always sit back to back because if they look at each other then they’ll have to stop pretending and actually fight because thats what Pan and Hook DO. And then oh no, what if one day Peter is actually hurt or even just super hungry and Hook is like “if you come round to the ship at night, I can help” or you know... just whatever reason Pan would have for needing help but being too stubborn and/or afraid to ask for it, and then maybe the occasional need for that sort of thing turns into Peter just dropping by, flying in through the window or balcony and keeping Hook company and maybe they talk about the stars and the mermaids, maybe Pan brags about what his lost boys did fighting today or the tricks they pulled on the pirates or maybe Hook brings out his maps of the worlds his ship has traveled to (since it can definitely travel between worlds, we know this from Hook 1989) and Peter learns theres so much more to life than what happens here in the island.

Eventually it would turn into a real friendship, and since I have this personal (and soon to be in fic!) HC that every time Peter traveled to see Wendy or to snatch a new lost boy he gets a little older (mainly because of Hook 1989, he’s clearly in his teens/maybe even pushing twenty when he meets Moira and that is way past the “never growing up” bratty saying of a seven/eight year old, which is canon because in the OG book he still has his baby teeth) so I thought maybe the first time he and Hook talk its as he’s pushing that sixteen-seventeen age and wondering why the same old things about playing pretend don’t feel right anymore, then things change a little more as he hits 19ish and starts wondering what it means to be an adult and are all adults pirates and what does it mean that he’s lonely an drawn to Hook?

then maybe the last few times he goes to get Wendy he’s that older look of maybe 20-22 and he’s starting to realize that the lost boys should be with families and he’s wondering how to save them or even sent them back and he realizes his feelings for Hook have gone from “i’m gonna cut your hand off and feed it to the crocodile” to “i trust you enough to talk” to “we’re actually just hanging out” and then to “I’d like to give you a kiss-- no not a thimble-- a real kiss” because it will be a cold day in Hell when I don’t include THAT line in a Peter Pan AU.

I have to be careful to avoid that whole “grooming” thing with age difference characters but also, since we’re talking about actual ageless beings who have spent hundreds of years around each other I think it will be okay.

Plus we’re not actually going to see them fall in love the first time around, we will learn about it via flashbacks and as Peter’s memory comes back as he’s on the island and through Wade’s POV, the fic will be set more in a Hook AU where it’s adult Peter coming to terms with everything he’d forgotten about.

I’m rambling ALOT so I’ll wrap it up but I’m just saying, I keep this really intense picture in my head of Peter and Hook on opposite sides of Skull Rock, both with their heads turned to listen to each other, and an almost 20ish looking Peter asking all quiet “everything was so simple before but now I don’t think anything is. Is it frightening to grow up?” and Hook just sort of smiles all sad and says “we all had to grow up sometime, Pan. It’s not all bad.” and Peter challenges “Well what’s good about it?” and Hook says sort of slow “you and I like this, we never did this before you started to grow up. This isn’t so bad, is it?” and Peter just sort of smiles because no, it’s not bad, in fact the way things changed with Hook might be the best, most scary thing about growing up.

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