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#lol that is not the rant you were expecting but i have big thoughts
herecomethatboi · 1 month
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Dbd killers x gn! Reader pt.2
Part two of MC slamming killers against the wall. Now it's MC who gets slammed lol
(I remembered like... A few days ago that I have a Tumblr account and I have 70+ followers??? Oh my god??? I love you guys, and i'm so sorry for delaying this. School, life and my love life just ✨love✨ to make me suffer🥲)
((LET'S GOOO))
The Ghostface:
The cat and mouse play begun, once you heard him giggle like a kid opening Christmas presents. The chase went on for what seemed like hours.
But of course, by the rules of the Entity's Realm, he caught up.
The breath was knocked out of you as you were thrown on your front and you tried to buck him off, although now he remembered he actually has his supernatural strengh to pin you down.
He was huffing, you were out of breath and he turned you -rather harshly- on your back making you grunt. He sat on your stomach, then he raised his knife.
You thought he will stab you in the skull, so you winced and closed you eyes while shielding your face with your arms.
With a swift motion he stabbed it into the ground next to you. You lowered your arms and opened your eyes to see his...face.
The mask was thrown somewhere else.
He had a grin on his face. An arogant, stupid grin on his face.
"Caught you now..." His voice was raspy, like he hasnt used it in a while. "Thought you could run away from me?"
"No, I-"
"I think I should return the favour, no?" He cut you off with a grin. At your lack of response his grin grew. "Not so bold now, hmm?"
You glared up at him and tried to push him off, which made him grab your wrists in his hands and pin them above your head.
"Awh, last time you were rougher, i'm almost disappointed." He giggled again.
That was the last straw, and whatever adrenaline you had in your system came in the form of pushing against him and switching positions.
"I can be rough, just like last time." You grinned down at his stupid face with that stupid grin.
"Oh, please, do go on." He... Pleaded? It sounded like teasing, but the honest begging undertone was so obvious.
So, you kissed him. Pinned his arms down by his wrists, and did the knee thing, which made him shiver.
He pulled back, not expecting you to ACTUALLY do something with him.
"Oh God..." He breathed out. His cheeks were pink, highlighting some of his freckles.
"My name should be what you call." You said as you applied pressure between his legs, which made him arch up just a tiny bit.
"Oh...God..." He moved against your knee, trying to find some release.
"Good boy."
The Entity watched with pop-corn as the scene unfolded.
The Legion, Frank:
You were repairing a gen when he randomly appeared next to you. You jumped back, let out a tiny scream (and had a mini heartattack) making the generator explode, which he laughed at.
"Am I that scary? Come on now." He laughed, you glared at him.
"Oh, should I start listing why a SURVIVOR should be afraid of a KILLER?!?" You asked rather harshly. His laughing turned into snickering.
"Yeah, well, this killer has to remind you where your place is after the last time we met." You were pinned against the gen when he finished that sentence. "After all, i'm a big, scary, merciless killer. Am I not?"
You stared at him with widenes eyes for a moment, then your expression turned blank and you clicked your tongue.
"Says the guy who whimpers like a girl." That did the trick, since he started stuttering non-sense that wasn't helping his case.
"WELL FUCK YOU- you... uh- you- uhm- FUCK- uhmmmm-" You chuckled and waited for him to form a sentence.
He stabbed you angrily and ran away, like the baby he is.
Then, when he got back, he started ranting about you to the Legion, who collectively told him to fuck your brains out or you will.
Frank didn't like that, but kept it in mind.
Michael Myers:
You were alas the last one yet again. You found the hatch, but decided to just sit down next to it and wait.
Michael was nearby, you could feel it.
Ever since... THAT, he's been focusing his attention on you, even in the camp where supposedly, no killer can come too close or enter, you felt that piercing gaze on the back of your head.
It wasn't pleasant, to say the least.
So, you decided to finally have a one-sided conversation with the Shape.
If, he lets you, of course.
It took some time, but he came forward, staring at you then the hatch, then back at you, pointing his knife slightly to your only escape.
"I know, I know, I just... Wanted to talk. If it's okay?" You stood up slowly, he lowered his knife to his usual resting position. "I'm sorry. I know it was shitty of me to do that, and I wanted to know if we could just... Go back to the usual trials?" You asked, unsure of his response.
You certainly didn't expect him to slam you against the wall behind you with a hand around your throat. He wasn't choking you, just holding it, as if you were made out of porcelain.
(Which, to be honest, compared to his strengh, your neck could be considered delecate)
You froze. His breathing was deep, but calculated and slow. He then dropped his knife (which was a surprise) and lifted his mask above his lips.
Then with the same fashion you did, he kissed you forcefully.
You stopped breathing for a moment and tensed up.
The kiss ended just as quick as the last one. Then he pulled his mask back down, let go of your neck and left, leaving his knife behind.
You returned to the camp with his knife hidden away, and shocked.
+Pyramid Head: (Ya'll, he has long tongue🤭)
He's been having bad trials lately. Something was wrong, but he didn't know what it was.
Everything just felt... Off.
Then the trial with you happened.
You were new, a complete stranger, and yet, nothing indicated that you were a bad person who deserved to be punished.
Pyramid had this dawning feeling about some survivors, and you were just the same.
Wrong place, wrong time.
He didn't find it in his soul to make people like you suffer. But sometimes. People like you just piss him off.
He finished off Ada, leaving you injured somewhere on the map. He found the hatch before you, but he ignored it and went after the smell of blood.
Then he found you and with a swift motion you were against the wall.
You tried to fight, which pissed him off some more, making him let out some grunts, but nothing made you stop.
So, he had an idea.
On the front of his head, there's a little opening for his tongue to escape.
So, he did just that and stuck it into your mouth.
It was gross, sure, it didn't feel like a normal tongue, but it was an interesting experience (for him too).
When you stopped, he took out his tongue, tossed you on his shoulder and walked back to the hatch, then he dropped you and left.
He started at his reflection for hours, not knowing WHY he just... Did what he did. But kept that in mind to do it again.
Pyramid could smell the sweet sweet arousal from you, which gave him images he never did and a new hard problem to deal with.
Screw you. (Affectionatelly)
+Evan MacMillan:
Evan had a feeling someone was down in the basement, and he was right. You were there, with your newly found flashlight, frozen in place as he took up the place in the only way for you to escape.
He knew it was over for you, so he took a step toward you, but was met with something hitting his square in the forehead, harshly.
Trapper was stunned the moment you threw a flashlight at him, hitting him on his mask and cracking the top layer off of it.
He almost dropped his weapon at the impact.
He just stood there at the stairs of the basement while you looked between the flashlight on the floor and him, mortified.
Evan huffed and marched to you, which made you let out a panicked noot noot and tried to avoid his reach, which was useless.
He grabbed you, but he didn't expect to be met with the sheer force of adrenaline from you and be slammed against the hooks pillar (is it a pillar???).
You grabbed his mask, threw it away, grabbed his face and kissed him.
He just froze up, not knowing what in the nine Hells he's suppose to do.
Then, you were running away.
The kiss was... Something else for him. Which made him hide in the basement, and just rethink his life decissions.
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mikalei · 11 months
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————————— Murder in My Mind +18
Killer!Husband!Scaramouche x fem!reader
Modern au
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Synopsis: your work as a detective was never easy; you have been assigned to another murder case and was tasked to find and apprehend this killer, but what if it was someone you never expected—what if it was someone closer to you than you think…
tw: ya’ll thought it was fluff at first but it’s not lol, eventual smut, mentions of death, killings, knife, blood, violence, psychotic behavior, weird obsessive behavior,; contains: sexual activity, vaginal sex, oral sex, creampie, vaginal fingering, shower sex, rough sex, marking, biting, tit sucking, cunnilingus..
cw: no use of Y/n, implied female reader, Scara calls reader “darling, my love,gorgeous, and my wife”, Scara is secretly a psycho but we still love him, not proofread.
part i: masterlist ; next
A/n: based on a c.ai bot made by Haniyyah (click hyperlink to visit their tt page, don’t forget to follow them!). If you’re reading this, I love how you write your bots. The prompt and idea was all from their Killer Scaramouche bot, this fic is based solely on what I encounter while using it. (Also I didn’t add the twins part in this story, I don’t want traumatised childrens on my fic just yet). Also sorry if there are any grammatical mistakes, I haven’t written anything for 2 years, I’m still getting the hang of it.
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Inserting my keys to open our front door as another stressful shift has finally came to an end,I couldn’t wait to plop myself to the soft mattress of my bed and snuggled against my lovely husband; that’s all I could wish for right now.
As I heard the door clicked, indicating that the once locked door is finally open,I turned the knob and went inside.I was welcomed by the warm and cozy atmosphere of my humble abode as I dropped my bag and coat at the doorstep.
“I’m home…” I said softly, my voice clearly shows how tired I am as I look at the analog clock in our living room’s wall.
2:17 am
The clock said, I let out a sigh as I sat on our couch. I let another sigh as I lean further more on the couch, closing my eyes. I sat there contemplating whether I have enough energy left to go up to our room and get changed into something more comfortable or just sleep on the couch for today.
I was about to do the latter when a pair of strong hands were placed on both of my shoulders, slowly massaging it. A small smile appears on my face as I slowly open my eyes again. There I see, standing behind the couch was my husband—Scaramouche, who is now towering over me. He looks like he just woke up as he still got a tired expression on his face. He leans in and kissed my forehead before speaking
“D’you just got home?” He asked as he sat down next to me, still sleepy as he wraps his arms around my waist and hides his face on the crook of my neck. I gently played with his soft messy hair. This is one of those moments that if I weren’t already tired, I would’ve swooned and obsessed over how adorable he is at this state.
I let out a soft hum while I continue stroking his hair. After a few moment of silence he speaks again.
“And how’s work? You’ve been coming home very very late” I can already sense his pout even if his face is hidden on the crook of my neck. “He is such a big baby.” I thought to myself.
“I know, I’m sorry. But work has been very stressful lately especially the occuring murder cases of multiple men around our age. We still don’t know if this is just coincidental or a serial killer has been on the loose since each victim has a different cause of death, the only thing that connects them to each other is that they were all at the same age, and work at a cafe or restaurant located near our workplace. And on top of that, the manager on my department kept bugging me lately, always asking me to go out to get some drinks after work and everytime I’ll reject his offer, he’ll assign me to more cases and telling me to take the overtime to finish other reports.” I kept ranting, my husband now looking at me intently as he listens to me vent all my problems.
But there is one thing that Scaramouche can ‘t shake off, your manager has been asking you out? As soon as he heard what you said, his mind instantly started to come up with a plan on how to “fix” this problem of yours.
I kept ranting and soon it has come to a stop. I let out another sigh as I felt my head ache from all the stress, I reached in to massage it to help ease some of the nerves to which Scaramouche notice immediately as he plant kisses on my forehead again.
“Wanna take a shower?” Scaramouche offers as he took over massaging my forehead. I let out a sigh of relief and closed my eyes as I felt his hands work its magic on my aching nerves.
“Only if you join me” I answered boldly, my husband’s hands has come to a stop as he process what I’d just said. I opened my eyes again as I look at him confusedly. There he is, looking at me with a dorky grin on his face, he look like a child who just found what he’s gonna get for Christmas. Before I can even say anything, Scaramouche already had scooped me up from the couch and carried me to our bathroom.
Once he had kicked the bathroom door open, he proceeded to push me against the wall, locking me in a passionate kiss, as his fingers work their way to open the buttons of my blouse. Once he finally got my top off, he then undid the zippers of my skirt as he pull it down along with the stockings I wore underneath it, almost tearing it apart.
He pulled away from the kiss to stare at my body, as he eyed the matching two-piece lingerie set I wore, before attacking my neck. He bit and suck on my skin, leaving small to medium red marks, before trailing down to my chest. His fingers unclasped my bra, and as soon as my breast has come to sight, I swear I saw a shiny glint in his eyes as he didn’t hesitate to capture my tit with his mouth while he massage the other. My hands flew to his hair, tangling the strands on my fingers as kept sucking on my boobs, his tongue playing with the bud. I couldn’t help but mewl at the pleasure I’m receiving, the mixture of stress and horniness gives me a different kind of pleasure that I’ve never felt for a long time.
My moans echoed through the spacious bathroom, making soon conscious at how loud I was, I was about to cover my mouth with my hand when I was stopped by my husband. I look at him confusedly as he glares at me, his right hand is still playing with my tits while his left was pinning my hand to the wall.
“Don’t. Cover. Them…. Wan’ to hear how good I make you feel” He said as he pants, it’s obvious that he breathless from continuously sucking on breast like a starved infant. When I show him that I have no intention of covering my moans, he gave my tits one last suck before he turn his back from me to open the warm water of our shower.
Right, we were supposed to be showering before everything went down.
Scaramouche immediately stripped himself of from his clothes and then went back to me to pull down my panties off. I stare at his toned body, god how I missed him. My mouth waters at the sight, my gaze lowers as I saw his hardened cock, hitting his stomach. From the sight alone I feel my wetness flowing down my thighs, my thighs unconsciously clamped together.
My husband looked at me and immediately smirked at how I was reacting upon seeing him naked. He lets out a soft chuckle that which snaps me out of my thoughts. “Darling, you’re staring… I might just melt if you stare at me long enough” He whispered on my ears, his voice sounds like it dropped a few octave at how low and seductive it is.
I blushed when I realised what I was doing and instantly hides my face in my hand. Scara looked at me and mutters a soft “cute” before stepping inside the shower. “Care to join me now, my love?” He said, I stumbled on my words to say “yes” before stepping inside on the shower too.
I watched as water droplets flow down the crevices of his muscles, I didn’t realize I was staring down until I felt his fingers tilt my chin up, as he pulls me to another passionate kiss. He wraps his arms around my waist as I wrap mine around his neck. He pulls me closer as he bit on my lower lip making me gasps. He then take my reaction to his advantage to slip his tongue inside my mouth.
Soon, I felt the need to breathe once again as I try to break free from his kisses, but to my luck, his arms had kept me from going anywhere, my hands are now on his chest, trying to push him away, but only when I started tapping on his shoulders did he decided to break away.
Both of us are panting heavily at the intense make out, Scara gave me a bashful look before muttering a sorry.
“Sorry, I might’ve enjoyed it a bit too far…” He scratched the back of his neck shyly. i giggled at how fast he can change from being this sexy man to a sweet one. “Turn around for me now will you, love? ‘M gonna scrub your back” he said as he took the soap from it’s rack and helped me turn my back towards him. Soon I felt the soap making contact to my skin, as he massages the slippery material on my back, but, somehow his mind must’ve wandered off to somewhere as his hands are now, not massaging my back, but are massaging my breast once again.
The action took me off guard as his touch becomes harsher and harsher. Soon, he pulled me against him once again, my back is leaning against his chest, as his hard cock is grinding on my ass. “Wait, Scara-“ I stutter as one of his hands went down from massaging my tits to now drawing circles on my clitoris, while his other continues its ministrations on my chest. “ ‘m sorry darling… I-hah… can’t wait… any longer” he groans right next to my ear as his dick grinds on my ass, trying to put get more friction. His slender fingers has now found their way inside my sopping cunt as he thrust two digits in a scissor motion.
“Please, put it in-hah-already” I said as I can feel myself getting closer to my climax. It’s amazing how with just fingers he can already reach that part inside me that can make my eyes roll to the back of my head. But, my pleads fell on deaf ears as he kept on fingering me, inserting one more finger; there are now three fingers inside me and my moans just gotten louder and louder. I kept on pleading and pleading but he kept denying my request.
“I will darling… I will… if you cum on my fingers then I promise, I’ll fuck you ‘till you can’t fucking stand anymore” Something inside me snaps after he had said those words to me. I can’t remember what happens but all I know is by the next few minutes, I was screaming and moaning his name like a prayer, as my legs wobble at the intense pleasure I’m getting just by his fingers.
I couldn’t comprehend what was happening anymore as the coil in my stomach finally snaps. Only then I found out what’s happening. I look at Scara, and he has this amazed look on his face that soon morphs into a satisfied one.
“Wow, you just squirted just by my fingers. Was my fingers that good? Heh, now you’re just stroking my ego” He said as he pull out his fingers out of my pussy. “Why don’t we try to do that one more time, but this time I want you to squirt on my cock, can you do that darling” He said in a dark yet sweet tone as he kisses my cheeks. Before I can even process what he had just said, he already picked me up, wrapping my legs on his waist as he lines his tip to my entrance, before fully inserting his whole dick inside me.
My eyes immediately rolled back as I felt how big he is. Scara took in the sight with a smirk on his face, enjoying my reaction. “God fucking damnit, you’re so tight! This is the reason why you should stop working overtime… so I can mold your fucking cunt with my dick.” Scaramouche said as he started thrusting up in a steady pace.
I can’t even speak anymore, my brains has finally turned into mush as he fucks me harder and harder. All of my knowledge has been reduced to just being fucked by my husband. I’ve turn into a blabbering mess as he makes me lean against the wall as he continue thrusting inside me, I felt a familiar coil in my stomach.“Mmph- ah going too-ah… cum again” I said with all my remaining strength. My vision is now clouded as he fucks me in a ruthless pace now.“Can you hold it for me darling? Wanna come with you…yeah… let’s cum together, my love” I whimpers as I tried to hold it in much longer, Scara started thrusting at an even faster pace.
“Can’t…hold…anymore… Scara” I whine as tears flooded my eyes, this is too much now, I am way to overstimulated from all of this. “I know you can darling… just a bit more” Scara started to suck on my neck again, leaving even more hickeys around it, as he trails down to suck on my tits again which just added more pleasure.
And to top all of that, one of Scara’s hands was placed once again on clit, his finger kept on teasing and playing the small bud with sends pleasure through my body like a shockwave. At this point, my whole body is shaking, I am holding on to his shoulders for my dear life because my legs are already trembling— no, I literally can’t balance myself on my feet anymore as he kept abusing my pussy.
The sound of our loud moans and his balls slapping against my skin is the only thing that can be heard through the entire night. Tears are rolling down my cheeks, was it from the intense pleasure or the fact that I am in dire need of that sweet release? Maybe a mixture of both.
“Scara…” I whine once again, and the next words I heard from my dear husband made me feel relieved. “Go ahead my love, come for me” He grunts as he thrust into me faster.
A loud moan escapes my lips as I once again had squirted on his cock, my eyes rolled back in ecstasy as Scara continued thrusting inside me, I can feel his dick twitching inside me, and soon, he had released his loads inside me. He thrust a few more times, making sure that his cum reached the deepest part of my hole before pulling out. Some of his semen fell out, to which he pushed back inside using his fingers.
“You’re such a good girl for me” He kissed my forehead as he proceed to clean us up and drying us both with a towel. The fatigue has now gotten to me and as soon as my body made contact with the soft mattress of our bed, I was out like a light.
Scara looked at his wife’s sleeping figure. “God even in her sleep, she still looks beautiful” as he admire his wife, he remembers that he has someone he needs to pay a “visit”. He helped his wife get into a much comfortable position and as soon as he finished tucking her to sleep, he looks for his wife’s phone.
As he unlocked her phone, the first notification that appeared was from his wife’s manager. “Perfect” Scaramouche thought as he clicked on the notification. It directed him to the manager’s text messages to his wife, which only made his blood boil even more.
There has been an ongoing pattern on the manager’s text where the manager will text his wife about work-related issues, followed by asking them out to go to a club or bar, and when his wife rejects him, he’ll tell her to spend the overtime to finish some reports, then after a few more hours, the manager will drunk-text his wife and sending her the location of the bar he is in.
And that is exactly what his latest message was. Scaramouche has a dark smile on his face now as he save the location to his own phone, before clicking the “mark as unread” option on the manager’s text message on his wife’s phone.
After changing into a dark outfit, he gives his wife one last kiss on the cheeks before heading towards where this drunk manager is getting a drink.
Upon arriving at the location, Scara smiles to himself once again as he saw the familiar manager, drunkenly wobbling to an alley. “Poor guy… didn’t even know his life will end today” He thought as he follows the drunkard to the same alley after scanning for any cctvs or bystanders. When he confirms that the coast is clear, he went into the alleyway, only to find the drunk manager pissing himself.
“Tsk how disgusting” Scara thought as he observe the naive man whose back is turned around, leaving him vulnerable. Quietly, Scara took a closer step, knife in hand, once he was directly behind the drunk man, he immediately stabs him in his side, while covering his mouth to mute any noise that might raise suspicion.
As the man bleeds to death on the ground, Scara took the man’s phone and opens it. Scaramouche felt sick as he saw that even the man’s lockscreen wallpaper is a picture of you. “What kind of sick obsession do you have to my wife… and let me guess, you’re password is her birthday isn’t it?” The man just stared at him shockingly which confirms Scara’s suspicion as he enters his wife’s birthday on the passcode.
His blood is boiling even more at how sick this manager is. Scara looks down at the man dying on the floor as he noticed that the man’s dick is still out.
Oh yeah he stabs him while he is pissing himself off…
Scara scoff as he steps on the man’s dick. “You obsess over my wife, asking her to go out with you when you have this pathetic bean sprout for a dick, pfft, how can you even satisfy a goddess like her with this thing?” He kept crushing the guy’s balls as the man can only groan in pain.
Scara looks back at the man and noticed that the man’s wallet is poking out of his pockets. Curious, he look inside the wallet and saw a clip of fresh and crisp stack of money amounting up to 500k. Scara smiles to himself as he looks at the notes.
“You rich bastard, thankfully you got a lot of cash in you right? A perfect way to cover the fact that you have a small dick” he laughs to himself once again, unfortunately the man is now but just a lifeless body. Scara’s face become serious. “Oh you’re dead already? Such a shame, I was still not done making fun of your small penis just yet. But the sooner you die, the better. And also, I’m keeping this money, I’m pretty sure my lovely wife will appreciate a nice vacation after the hell you put her through at work” Scaramouche said as he stuffs the money in his wallet.
Before leaving he makes sure that the scene before him looked more like the victim got mugged by some criminal and not murdered because the now dead man hits on his wife. Once Scara was satisfied, he got rid of the evidence like the blood on the knife was cleaned off by hydrogen peroxide, his clothes doesn’t have any blood on them, but he clean them off too.
Once he arrived at his house, he checked the clock and saw that it’s still early in the morning. And from their previous “activity”, he is sure that his darling wife would be sleeping till noon, Scara made sure of it, it was all in his plan, starting from when you mentioned that your manager has been asking you out. It was all part of his plan. He thought to himself as he lay beside his sleeping wife.
When they woke up later, he is going to suprise her with the best vacation day ever. Scara smiles to himself once more before drifting off to sleep.
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extra notes: Yay, a new fic done. Here are a few facts I fail to mention about the fic
Scaramouche has a job (other than being a killer) , he is an engineer
When I wrote “It was all part of his plan”, I meant that Scara planned to have sex with the reader (his wife) because he knows she’s already tired from work and if he tire her out even more then she’ll be asleep the whole time, which mean Scara don’t have to worry about her waking up while he kills people.
This fic will be a series because this is all I can do for today.
That would be all! Thank you for reading, please leave a like and follow me for more. Also my asks are open, so if you have any request I’m glad to try and fulfill it! Hope you like this part! Mika out :3
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idiswhadidis · 1 year
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math camp
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pairing: jungwon x fem!reader
sypnosis: Jungwon's mom forces him to go to a math camp but what happens when his best friend since kindergarden which he got feelings for tags along?
genre: best friends to lovers, fluff
featuring: Eunchae from LE SSERAFIM
warnings: math (lol), cursing, some jealousy
wc: 3,4k
hi everyone, enhypen finally dropped their new album so I have to celebrate it by posting this wohoo. I hope you enjoy.:)
To be Jungwon's best friend could be called as a bless or curse. Most likely a bless cause he’s a polite, distinguished gentleman but even more a pain in your ass.
You know each other since kindergarden you both became friends pretty quick after you saved him from a spider crawling up his leg, you actually freaked out when you touched the spider but little you wanted to be a hero and it worked. Little Jungwon looked at you with big eyes and mouth wide open, mesmerized by your proud big smile.
Then you both went to middle school, hanging out with each other most likely everday, your mother and his mother became also good friends, your familys even went on vacations and trips together.
And now you were in high school sitting in math class, next to Jungwon.
„Boy, if you don’t stop Imma kick you where the sun doesn’t shine“ you glare at him he’s been testing your nerves for 10 minutes. His mom wants him to go to this stupid math camp in the holidays cause his grades let’s just say are not the best but yours are (slay).
„Please Y/n, you can’t let me alone I don’t wanna suffer alone I thought we‘re „the“ dream team“ he's looking at you with desperation,
„We are but I don’t want to sacrafice my holidays for a fucking math camp“,
„and you think I do? My mom is forcing me and I know it’s gonna be more baerable when you come along“, „flattering but no, I have good grades and I want to enjoy my holidays“ a pen in your hand ready to write down what the teachers trying to teach,
„I will pay your food for six months“, well now he’s getting frustrated not hearing a response from you he continues „for 1 year?“ still no response.
He leans back, hand on his chin thinking about how to persude you, when he suddenly quitely slams his hands on the table startling you, looking at him seeing him with a smirk knowing you’re doomed.
-1 Month later-
Sunglasses on your nose a suitcase on your left, a Jungwon on your right and your mood on the ground. Staring at the „Welcome at the math camp!“ sign with this stupid mascot of an owl with glasses waving at everyone. How fantastic.
 „You better keep your promise or Imma dunk you into the lake“ death staring him, he smiles at you as if he’s an angel (devil) „Of course“,
„Hello everyone! I’m Bethany and I’m the host of this camp, it’s nice to meet you! I know you might think this are going to be the worst holidays ever but no, I promise you all, even though it’s a math camp it will be so much fun! Our team prepared a lot and I hope you will enjoy it.“
You groan quietly „as if“ you whisper that only Jungwon could hear nudging you in the rips with his elbow.
„Now, when you look to my right you can see there are some pin boards about your camp houses, look for your name and make yourself comfortable we are not going to do much today because it’s already 6 pm so we’re are going to have dinner and a campfire to get to know each other. So we will meet here again at 7 pm. Have fun!“ Bethany stops her ranting and Jungwon takes your hand dragging you to the pin boards.
„camp hause number 4 and 2 let’s go“ and again he drags you along with him „so we’re not together in a house?“, „was to be expected, let’s go to your house first.“
Standing infront of the door turning to Jungwon with a frown „I’m too socialy awkward for this“, „I know but that’s okay give it a chance maybe you will find some new friends“ you look at him with a dissapproving face, him turning you around and pushing you to the door „I will be here at 6:50 so be ready“ you nod and open the door with hesistation walking into the house seeing 4 beds in each corner and one girl arranging some stuff.
The girls head pops up „Omg Hi! I’m Miya nice to meet you!“ she smiles at you and to not be awkward you smile back „Hey, my name is Y/n“ and now you both stand there smiling... yep awkward,
„so.. bad at math I guess?“ she asks „actually no, my best friend forced me to go with him“, she gasps „what a great best friend“, „right? But if it’s with him it’s okay“, „oh?“ she side-eyes you with a little smirk, „no not like that“ you narrow your eyes at her sarcastically laughing together „I think we’re going to have a great time“ she beams and turns back around to arrange her stuff and so you choose one of the beds getting yourself ready to live here for beautiful (not) 2 weeks.
Opening the door from your camp house seeing Jungwon already standing there waiting for you
„I hope there will be some good food I’m starving“ you say, him turning around „I saw some pizza boxes on the table were we’re going to eat“ he answers seeing your moody face turning into a ball of happiness making his heart burst, „ohhhh yes!“ putting your fist up in the air like you just won in the lottery, „let’s go, let’s go“ taking his hand into yours dragging him to the meeting point.
„38, 39 and 40.. Great! Everyone arrived, so as you can see tonight is going to be pizza night we have enough pizza for everyone so take as many pieces you want and let’s meet at the camp fire and get to know each other!“ Bethany stops talking and you’re the first to speed walk to the buffet making everyone snicker feeling a bit embarassed, Jungwon being your number one suporter having him right beside you his hand resting on your back making you gulp.
Taking a plate and taking some pieces completely drooling over it, grinning at Jungwon „let’s go“.
Walking to the camp fire seeing Miya waving at you making the gesture to sit beside her „Oh, that’s Miya from my camp house“ you tell Jungwon, walking straight up to her and sitting down, finally taking a bite of your pizza groaning quietly „so good?“ Jungwon asks, nodding at him cheeks stuffed with pizza.
„So, I see everyone gathered here so let’s get started. I think this will be more fun when we all know each other so let’s indroduce ourselfes-“ your shoulders dropping whispering in  Jungwon's direction „that’s gonna be so awkward“ him squeezing your leg for support „-I will start so my name is Bethany I’m 31 years old and I love to bake nice to meet you all“ she turns her head to the one beside her letting them continue.
And now it’s Jungwon's turn „Hey my name is Jungwon I’m 19 years old and uhm I love to dance“ your time to shine, you gulp intruducing yourself is nerve wrecking „uhm Hi my name is Y/n I’m 19 years old and I love to water my plants?“ making Jungwon laugh, smacking his arm making everyone laugh, amazing you’re going to be the clown of this camp. „I didn’t know you like to water your plants?“ Jungwon whispers „I don’t“ making him shake his head with a smile.
After painfully playing around for 3 hours Bethany finally said her good night.
„That was… exhausting“ Jungwon speaks up tiredly as he walks you to your camp house, „my soical battery is complety drained“, stopping infront of your door he hugs you and quietly says „well my lady, I hope you will have a good sleep and don’t let the bugs bug you“, looking at him in horror „don’t jinx it dumbass“ grinning at you „good night prince charming“.
-
You are never going to be a morning person, waking up at 8 in the morning during holildays should be illegal.
Sitting around the table resting your face in your hand still sleepy you suddenly feel a hand on your shoulder.
„morning sleepyhead“ turning around seeing the boy of your dreams, „morning“ you mumble him sitting next to you „slept good?“, shaking your head „nah I can’t sleep properly when I’m not in my own bed“, „if there wouldn’t be others in the camp house I would be by your side“ that wouldn’t be the first time but it still makes you blush „I’d actually love that“ him smirking „I know“, …excuse you?
„Good Morning everyone I hope you slept good, today is the very first day of this progamm so we’re of course starting to do math today so eat something and get the day started.“
-
Walking into the classroom in groups of 10 people so there are 4 classroom and thank the lord you were with Jungwon in the same group.
You actually hoped that a math camp would be something like swimming in the water while answering some math questions yeah.. that was so dumb.
You saw your name tag on the table in the corner of the last row sitting down looking at Jungwon who poorly sits in the first row trying not to laugh as he mouths „help me“, a man walks into the room standing infront of us.
„Hello there, I’m Zach and I will be your math teachter for the next 2 weeks nice to meet you all. Now before we start I will explain how this progamm actually works, so everday besides Saturdays and Sundays we’re going to start at 10 am in this classroom with math till 4 pm with an one hour break, so 5 hours of math a day is not that bad right-?"
Not bad? If you would be at home you could lay around in the swimming pool for 5 hours but thanks to your best friend you’re going to suffer to death. Rubbing your eyes and cursing Jungwon in your head.
„- and after 4 pm is Bethanys fun progamm. So because you’re here willngly or because your parents sent you here I want you to do your best so you can see math isn‘t that hard and you will for sure get better grades once you return to school. And now for the typical rules we’re going to respect each other and if someone says something incorrect we’re not going to make fun of them. So let’s get started open your books at page 1.“
Not even 1 hour in it, you’re ready to shoot yourself call it dramatic but you would rather sit in a room full of tigers, and to top it you’re getting irritated by a girl who’s constantly staring at Jungwon.
You wouldn’t call yourself a jealous type of person but when it comes to Jungwon something switches inside you.
-
Update it’s been 3 hours and girly girl with the name Lissy has been trying too much. You don’t know if Jungwon is dumb or dumb af, cause that girl is pushing it asking Jungwon math questions over and over again batting her fake lashes and pouting when she doesn’t understand a single thing. Rolling your eyes when Jungwons cluelessly helps her.
„Alright guys you all did amazing it’s been 3 hours, time for the one hour break.“ Zach announces everyone standing up ready to leave this hell off a classroom, passing by Jungwon not sparing him a glance.
Opening the door form the bathroom getting frightened when Jungwon suddenly stands there,
„Why didn’t you wait for me?“ walking pass him washing your hands „You were too bussy with that girl and I had to pee“ drying your hand on the towel not noticing Jungwons little smile „There’s no other reason right?“ he asks tilting his head challenging, little shit knows you too well,
„No, why would there be?“ slightly narrowing your eyes „hm sure.. then let’s go, the girl wants to introduce her friends to me and I’m taking you with me“ before you could say no Jungwon helds your hand tightly in his, trying to wiggle out of it but to no use.
Seeing miss Lissy from afar gives you the ick seeing her excited waving at Jungwon „Won you came“ you swear your eye just twitched,
She walks up to you both literally grabbing him away from you letting you stand there alone
„so this are my two friends Jason and Mike, Jason Mike this is Jungwon my new friend“ you couldn’t take it anymore turning around ready to run away-
„And who’s that girl?“ god damn it, „That’s Y/n my best friend“ sighing turning around „Hey“ making eye contact with the two boys refusing to look at Lissy.
„Oh weren’t you the girl who loves to water her plants?“ blinking at him „apperently yes“, „girl come here I’m a plant lover let’s talk“, univerese sure has a thing against you, you neither love to water your plants neither have you any knowledge about plants.
-
You don’t know how you got here but you were actually enjoyning the conversation with Mike, you talked in the beginning about plants but you quickly found out that Mike is a fast topic switcher (thank god) now you were talking about his dog?
„And he really took a shit on your bed after you scolded him?“ you asked „Yes, you should have seen his face it was like „yes I just did that“ that little shit.. he even ran away with still shit on his ass I had to chase him around the house“ having to laugh outloud making Jungwon turn his head around making him currious what you find so funny,
„God I would have loved to see that“, „I mean if you want we could meet up someday after this math camp and we could take a walk with him“ looking at him surprised „uh yeah sure?“ the both of you continued your conversation but what you didn’t catch was Jungwon's intense stare.
Sadly the one hour break came to an end and you were back in hell, it felt a bit weird walking with Mike and not Jungwon „So I hope I will see you later“ Mike says when you seperated into your classroom „for sure“ you smile at him noticing Jungwons glare.
Sitting down in your seat ready to grieve for your bed once again.
-
You thank god for letting the 2 hours of math went by fast, now you were all at the meet up point wearing your bikinis, swimmsuits etc. ready to have fun in the water.
„Now after 5 hours of math you all deserve to relax, have fun and if somehthings happens the life guards to my left will be right by your sides“ Bethany announces.
„Wanna go for a swim?“ Mike asks you „Nah, Imma sun bath I’m not really a water person“, he nods at you and leaves.
Laying down on the grass with your towel ready to get the sleep you didn’t get in the night.
Not long after you feel something touching your foot thinking it’s a bee you pretend to be dead not wanting to making it aggressive and sting you, when something touches your foot once again you slightly open your eyes and see a Jungwon staring at you and poking your foot with his toe? closing your eyes again,
„I’m trying to sleep what you want?“ „let’s swim“,
„no“
„yes“
„no“
„yes“
Before you could say no again Jungwon picks you up bridal style making you shriek „NO, Jungwon I don’t want to“
„Don’t care we’re going for a swim“ he says as he already walks into the water „Lemme at least take of my shirt I don‘t have something to change into when it’s drenched“, he looks at you „I know you’re lying you would just run away and don’t worry I have spare clothes“, groaning he knows you like an open book, asshole..
Still being carried he walks further into the water letting you slowly down your shirt totally drenched, sticking umcomfortable on your body.
„Wohoo so much fun“ you say full of sarcasm, him poking your stomach.
„So Mike?“ he asks literally out of nowhere blinking at him „Don’t tell me you brough me into the water to talk about him?“ „And what if I did?“ oh we’re getting bold now?
„Well what about Lissy?“, „I asked first“, „I’m a lady so ladys first, now spill“ you raise an eyebrow at him.
„well there’s not much about Lizzy she’s nice and funny“ looking at him irritated „She’s annyoing as fuck dude“, „and so is Mike“, „you didn’t even talk to him you can’t judge a book by it’s cover“, „well did you talk to Lissy before you judged her?“ he serious? „You little-“
before you could end your sentence you jumped onto him like a monkey, arms around his neck and legs around his torso startling him but still catching you wrapping his arms around your body protectively.
„something just tangled around my leg“ you look scared at the water, Jungwon's trying to see something and spots- „Y/n, it was just seaweed“ him grabbing into the water having seeweed around his fingers turning his face to yours which is really close to his leaning slightly back,
„well that was emberassing, we’re never going to talk about this again“ ready to untangle from Jungwon but him tightening his hold not letting you go, making you confused looking at him seeing his serious expression „wanna let go or?“
„How long will this continue?“ he asks, staring at him cluelessly „Huh?“
„Us lying to each other“, you have a guess about what he means but you try to dodge it „I still have no clue-“, him squeezing your waist making you nervous,
„Stop lying, I’m sorry to expose you now but when you once talked to Eunchae I accidently eavesdropped and heard you say things about me“ making your eyes bulge out turning your head to the left actually wishing to dissapear.
so that asshole knows that you’re in love with him..
„I’m actually really glad that I eavesdropped cause I always thought this was one-sided“ turning your head around looking at him shooked,
„Since when do you..?“
„First day of kindergarden..“ him grinning at you making your heart melt „..how could someone not fall in love when they get saved by their hero?“ making you laugh „you were really scared of that spider“,
him death staring you „you just were scared of sea-“ kissing him before he could talk further him melting into the kiss that was way overdue, hands on your waist pressing you onto him chest to chest, deepening the kiss slipping his tongue into your mouth, gripping his hair making him groan.
Once breaking the kiss you rest your head onto his shoulder „I’m so in love with you“ whispering against his neck giving him goosebumps kissing your cheek „god i’ve been waiting to hear that.“
-2 weeks later-
Math camp was finally over which means you could finally enjoy the rest of your holidays, you were glad that Jungwon forced you to go with him I mean who would have thought you would become a couple at the second day of this camp? well you didn’t.
„So you’re gonna pay for every milk shake I will ever have in my entire life?“ looking at him with happiness, you have an unhealthy obsession with milk shakes and the deal was Jungwon would pay for every milk shake you will have until you die „Of course a promise is a promise“ he answers-
„Oh look there they are“ Jungwon says seeing yours and his mother, picking you both up,
„And how was it?“ your mom asks while she hugs you „It was good“ you answer „You feel smarter?“ Jungwons mom asks Jungwon making you laugh „good joke“ Jungwon glares at you sticking up his middle finger at you.
Sitting in the car feeling tired you rest your head on Jungwon's shoulder saying hello to the dream land.
Jungwon's mom looks in the back mirror of the car glancing at Jungwon whispering „Are you finally..?“, Jungwon nodds and smiles at your sleeping state.
„You owe me 100 bucks“ Jungwon's mom states to your mom.
-
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cowboyjen68 · 4 months
Note
Hi Jen, sorry for dumping a big rant in your askbox but your blog has helped me figure out my identity and I don’t have anyone to talk to about this in real life lol. Feel free to delete if this is too weird.
So I’m a 17 y/o butch, and I have been masculine since I was a little kid. I always felt lucky to have a family that was generally okay with my gender nonconformity. They treated it like a cute quirk of mine, and I never felt like I was being judged or that I should change the way I am around them. My dad got a kick out of it. One summer he let me help him build the deck in our backyard. He always took me to baseball games, he dressed me up in his old clothes, basically treated me like I was his son and I loved it.
I feel like as I get older, my masculinity becomes less acceptable. I went to visit my paternal grandmother for the holidays, hadn’t seen her in a few years, and the first thing she said to me was “I thought you would’ve grown out of all that by now” (in reference to my haircut and outfit, I think.) I just don’t know how to react to the way my extended family treats me now. They used to be totally fine with it, but I spent my entire Christmas feeling like I was being judged for every little thing.
Like, what’s changed? Why is it cute and funny when a little girl wears boy’s clothes and wrestles with her cousins, but disgusting when I grow up and settle into my masculinity?
It’s like I’ve crossed the invisible line between being a tomboy and being a dyke, and now no one wants to entertain it anymore.
Again, sorry for the rant haha, I just feel like I’m going crazy because I tried to talk to my sister about it and she said she didn’t notice them acting any different, but I swear my aunt spent half of our Christmas dinner telling me how pretty I would be if I just wore a bit of makeup lmaoo. I’m just wondering if anyone else has experienced this, because I’m feeling pretty lost right now. Thanks, and happy holidays!
It is not weird at all. I hear that young lesbians, particularly butches, do not have older role models to bounce ideas off of or vent or get any perspective on certain experiences. Moms and Dads and straight sisters and cousins, no matter how well meaning, will just not always "get" what is happening. They say things like "we love you no matter what" and "we don't care if you are a lesbian" and they mean it, mostly. But they often don't see the subtle clues (or blatant ones)they toss around that indicates how uncomfortable they are with you being so visible, but just existing as you naturally are.
AND OH MY GOSH yes I have experienced exactly what you are talking about with the deepening judgement as you move from a cute little Tomboy to an adult butch women. It is almost like they hope to "catch it early" when we are in our teens and redirect us away from the "danger" of being a visible lesbian. And a woman who does not, in very overt ways, conform to their idea of how a woman should be and act.
My dad was relatively consistent in treating me pretty much like he would a son and, to his credit, he did so with my straight sister. We were allowed to do just about anything my older brothers did. In part because my sister was pretty strong willed but also a lot like him. I was less strong willed but she had mowed the path.
Mom was the one who was forever concerned about my looks and behavior, both out of worry I would not fit in, and because she had a certain expectation of how her daughter should grow up. Both normal Mom reactions. She understood bullies and knew that sticking out could be difficult. Her solution was not to strengthen my resilience but to attempt to "tone me down". Her efforts increased as I made the jump from kid to teen and into my late teens. She would discourage me from cutting my hair, becoming almost angry when I brought it up. She would tell me how lovely I was in dresses and skirts and say thing like " a little make up would be nice". It got really old. It lead to us not always getting along even though I loved and respected my mom. She was a great mom. But this one thing made us both crazy. She could not cool it and I could not change who I was.
Friends at school saw hints of my liking girls. I stopped wearing cowboy boots and my favorite horse buckle and it their place went with K Mart Tennis shoes and a generic belt that came with my pants, again, from Kmart. I put away the cowboy fringed shirts and flannel and went with simple jeans and sweatshirts, the acceptable attire for boys and girls in my rural high school. I kept my hair long to disguise my "looking like a boy" traits.
I (barf) agreed to date a boy and spent the better part of that time making excuses to not kiss him or spent time with him. I was starting to listen to mom and do my best to hide ME from the world. Anything (with in reason) to throw the world off the scent, the scent of me being a lesbian. Being butch made that one more step difficult.
It is hard to hide the space we take up naturally.
It might seem hard to see it now by your family is slightly well intentioned, knowing that being "seen" easily as a lesbian can be dangerous. But also, they are uncomfortable with your energy and physical presence because it does not coincide with their ideas of what a woman acts, feels and moves like. This is a THEM problem and I can give you words of comfort based on experience.
The more you begin to be you, and dress in what gives you comfort the more your confidence will grow and be evident. People who are emboldened to try and change you for their own comfort tend to back way off when there is no opening for their opinions. They just sort of realize they are wasting time. AND for those that don't, there are always a few, you don't have to give them any air or acknowledgement. You get to let them waste time and energy while you look great in whatever you wish to wear and however you wish to cut your hair. And in a wonderful turn around, you don't have to spend any effort just being you or trying to defend or correct them.
You are fast approaching adulthood and with that will come even more freedom and independence. Don't rush it but also, work towards that.
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crabdrabbles · 3 months
Note
Hiii Crab so happy to see you write outside of our rants/idea chats and my fellow delulu cod enjoyer! Would love to request Platonic!141 + Reader (sorry if this is long and somewhat confusing lol). You can do headcanons, drabble or whatever you comfy for. An idea that popped in my head kinda semi personal: Civ or 141! Reader though has parents and family is the reader is quite something else. Reader despite having somewhat normal upbringing still feel empty; they shouldn't be feeling this numb and empty deep inside of them. The reader craves the love that they give but couldn't or lack of receiving it back, though they don’t expect it or selfishly want it. Just someone who understands them even in their deepest darkest secret or flaw then boom cue the task force 141 unexpected yet welcoming to their life and maybe the one that the Reader can lean and let them be vulnerable on (finally).  
Take your time on doing this Looking for to your other writing genuinely -Cee, your fellow Soap delulu
GN!Reader & 141 (Mostly Price)
Warnings: Slight angst Ships: None. A/N: This absolutely ran away from me and I do not at all regret it, hope you enjoy, Cee!!! Words: 3549
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Almost your entire life had been a cycle of self doubt that also started to churn and twist into self-hatred. You blamed yourself for the feelings. Afterall, you had a relatively normal upbringing. Two parents who were both present in your life, both of whom worked so that you all had food on the table and a roof over your head. A luxury that very few had.
The least you could do for them is follow the path that they wanted to put you on, no matter how much you didn’t want to do it. Because you loved them. 
So you excelled in your education, studying hard to try and impress your parents– to make them love you just as much as you loved them for everything that they did for you for your entire life. They wanted you to do all three sciences despite the additional workload it would add to your already stretched thin time? Then you would do them, take any extra classes after school in order to keep up with the work and not lag behind any of your peers. 
There was no such thing as a social life, either, not when you had homework and projects due. Friends were few and far between. Generally, most people left when they realised how hyper focused you were on your grades instead of social interaction. 
Did a classmate get a higher grade than you on a test? Well obviously you didn’t study hard enough, you just needed to dedicate more time to school even though school was all you had.
Did you get the highest marks in the class? Good, that was what was expected of you. Why didn’t you get full marks? You were better than that. You would do better because you loved your family. They showed it in their own way, of course, by encouraging you to study harder and get better grades. That was their love language, and yours was doing as they asked without a second thought. Because, at the end of the day, you were lucky to have an upbringing like you had. You would ignore the hollow void clawing at your chest because you had no right to feel that way– not when you had a roof over your head and parents that loved you(?).
It was when you came top of the class with full marks in a recent test, you came home with a beaming smile on your face and proudly showed the test to your parents. They took the papers from your hands, flipping through your work with critical eyes, before handing the papers back to you. 
‘Well done, we’re so proud of you.’ That was all you wanted them to say to you. That was all you needed to hear. To know that they loved you. 
‘Your penmanship is terrible.’ Was what you got instead. When you tried to point at the big 100% in green pen, you were waved away. ‘How are you expected to get a job when you write like a child? I’m surprised the teacher could even read your answers’. 
After several years of balancing a work and educational life and paving a way for a line of work that you didn’t want for parents you should have been grateful to have, you decided that enough was enough. 
No matter how hard you worked, no matter how high your marks were, they would never be proud of you. They would never return the love that you had for them until you nearly killed yourself trying. 
Spending your entire childhood, teenagehood and all of your current adulthood trying to please your parents predictably would damage one’s psyche. You had no friends, family who had never been devoted to you as you were to them, and high grades serving as the foundations to a prison-like future.
You dropped out of University. The only option forward that you saw was joining the army in the vain hope that the empty feeling inside of you would dissipate when you actually did something that you believed was more worthwhile than any University course. 
So you threw yourself into the military, working harder than all of the other recruits and training at every chance you could.
Your skills and determination became widely recognised amongst your peers. It took several years, but you eventually caught the eye of none other than Captain John Price. 
Impressed by your willpower that not many soldiers possessed, he offered you a place on the 141. 
Naturally, you agreed. You believed that being part of such a well renowned and respected team would finally beat back the lingering self doubt and emptiness that had curled itself around your heart.
It didn’t. If anything, it made it worse.
You were invited to join the 141, sure, but they had already established their own relationships between each other, had already bonded into a close knit group, and you were simply an outsider. Yes, you had been hand picked by Price himself, but that didn’t mean you were part of the team. They had their own inside jokes that they told to one another, leaving you feeling left out on most days.
And you felt… lacking around them. Ghost was stronger, Gaz was faster, Soap was smarter (he was a demolitions expert for crying out loud!), and Price was almost all of those rolled into one. They all complimented each other as a team. Meanwhile you felt like a spare tyre, a master of nothing and barely a jack of any trade. 
Despite how you felt about it all, they all called you ‘kid’. Regardless of age gaps between yourself and the rest of them, the nickname stuck mostly because you were the newbie. It came as a surprise that it wasn’t spat with vitriol as your peers before had, but it was in fact said with… an affection you couldn’t quite place.
You couldn’t ignore the hole in your chest that had been chipped at over the years, forming a gaping maw that no reassurances could really mend. 
Doubt lingered in the back of your mind, chipping away at your sanity as you prepared for the worst. How long would it take before they realised you weren’t good enough? 
You were so deep in your doubts that you didn’t realise that you had been distancing yourself even more than before until you overheard a conversation in Price’s office a few months down the line.
“-- they don’t belong on the team.” Gaz said as you passed Price’s office and your heart dropped. It was only the tailend of what he had been saying but you had gotten the gist. You wanted to stay, to listen to the conversation more and listen to what your team had to say about you, but you didn’t. What you were going to hear were likely things you had already told yourself right from the start. You keep walking on, ignoring the sting of tears burning in the corners of your eyes. The blood rushing in your ears prevented you from heating the rest of the conversation. 
“-- not only are they acting like they don’t belong on the team, but they’re acting like they’re not good enough.” Gaz continued, sighing in frustration.
“Maybe they need more time.” Ghost rumbled in reply, “Let them come out of their shell a little bit. Best not rush these things.” He was talking from experience, after all.
“Aye… maybe I can invite them out for drinks or sommat? I wouldn’t want them getting transferred before we got to know them a little more.” Soap had been the one that had tried the hardest to get close to you but had also tried to give you space so as to not suffocate you with his personality. 
“They won’t be getting transferred.” Price said with conviction, tapping his desk, “I chose them to be part of this team and this is where they’re going to stay. Let me have a word with them first.”
“Aye, sir.”
— — — — — —
You found yourself in the smoker’s shelter outside the main building. It was late enough that most of the soldiers had gone to bed or off to do their own things elsewhere so you doubted that you would be bothered for a little while. Just enough time for you to get your thoughts together. Your tears had dried in your eyes a few minutes ago, making them sting in the cold air. You didn’t need to look in your reflection to know that you probably looked like a wreck– entirely unbecoming of a soldier of your apparent status. 
You didn’t want to get transferred. Despite your distance with the 141, you didn’t hate them. Far from, actually, you held a great deal of respect for each and every one of them. It was just that you felt like you didn’t have your place amongst them. Not good enough to be associated with them. 
“Bit late to be out here in the cold, chuck.” A voice startled you out of your thoughts– one that you would recognise anywhere from the low rasp of a smoker's lungs. 
“Captain.” You croaked, wincing at the patheticness in your voice. There was a scuff of boots as Price came closer, leaning into your line of vision with a furrowed brow which only furrowed more as he took in your dishevelled appearance.
“Something on your mind?” He asked kindly, perching on the arm of the bench to give you some personal space. He left his question open, allowing you any chance to steer the conversation how you wanted to. There was no judgement for catching you at your lowest, no disgust at your red rimmed eyes— just polite understanding and a non verbal offer of pleasant company. 
“Why did you pick me, Captain?”
The question made him tilt his head, a frown beginning to tug on his features. You were worried you had insulted him.
“What brought this on, huh? Someone say something to you? Need me to have a word with them?” He straightened his back, scowling. Whilst you felt like you didn’t have a place in the 141, you could never deny the shield of protectiveness that Price held over his team. You remember in the back of your mind the day that some General who thought he was hot shit had the audacity to undermine Soap as nothing more than a ‘yappy dog’ when offered the Scot’s demolitions expertise. Price had appeared almost out of thin air and almost ripped the General a new one and things would have escalated into a fist fight had Laswell not intervened. It wasn’t as though Price didn’t think his own soldiers were capable of defending themselves, but he couldn’t care less about punishments aimed his own way over that of his Sergeants and Lieutenant. It was just a surprise that the protective streak extended over you, too, despite your distance to your teammates.
“I’ll sound stupid.” You mumbled, looking down at the ground as if expecting him to chastise you like a child. He didn’t.
“I’ve had my fair share of stupid over the years. Try me.”
“... and ungrateful.”
“I once had a guy punch me in the face two seconds after I took a bullet that would have killed him.” Price countered with a cut off chuckle once he remembered what was probably a mission long finished and cleared his throat. “C’mon, tell Captain what’s on your mind.”
And he sounded so sincere when he said it. Sounded like he genuinely wanted to hear what was going on in your head– that he was willing to waste what was already his important and limited time on someone like you. 
“Sir—”
“John.” Price corrected gently, crows feet more noticeable at the corners of his eyes scrunched up when he smiled, “We’re off duty, you don’t need to be so formal.”
“... John.” You echoed, finding that you really didn’t like saying that. It felt like calling your teacher by their first name in primary school or a classmate’s parent other than their last name. 
“Now, c’mon, tell me what’s on your mind. Might not be a therapist, but I’m better than bottling it up.” You wondered in the back of your mind how often Price did this. Sat with his soldiers and talked with them, offered them a listening ear to hear their vents and fears. You couldn’t help but feel honoured to be one of the few he willingly offered said time to. Your silence stretched on as you thought of the words to say, how to phrase what you wanted to say without sounding unappreciative of the opportunity that Price had offered you when he requested you join his team. 
“I don’t feel like I belong here.” You blurted once the silence had stretched on for long enough to border on uncomfortable. John’s face fell and you quickly realised how bad that sounded and rushed to correct yourself.
“No, no, wait, let me explain–” the Captain closed his mouth to allow you to continue speaking, but you could tell that it was hard for him. “I just… you could have anyone better than me, you know? I’m not a demolition expert. I’m… I’m not the best Sniper. I’m the slowest on the team, pretty sure I’m the weakest–”
“Nope.” Price interrupted, finally breaking the bubble of your personal space as he took a proper seat next to you on the bench but still respecting the distance enough to keep a few inches between you. “Nope, not lettin’ you say another word.”
“But–” 
“Nope.”
“Cap–”
“No.”
“But you could have anyone better—“
“But they wouldn’t be you.” He deflected easily. Far too easily. He leant back on the bench, crossing one leg over the other as he folded his arms over his chest. His fingers twitched and you could tell he was itching for a cigar but didn’t light one out of respect. 
“Alright, sure, I can ask Laswell to give me one of the best soldiers in the SAS and have them brought here tomorrow. They could be the best of the best, top of their class, better than you and maybe even better than me. But that’s a bit of a stretch.” He winked and earned a weak chuckle from you. “But they won’t be you. I don’t pick just on skill alone, kid, I pick based on how I feel people would fit into the team. I chose you because I knew that you’d be perfect.”
“As for not being a demolitions expert, let  me let you in on a little secret. I’ve no fucking clue about demolitions, either. And you don’t have to be on the team to be the ‘best Sniper’. You’re better than most, and that’s what’s important. As for being the weakest– did you or did you not bodily lift Gaz in a fireman’s carry during training the other week while he was trying to act as an injured civilian? Quite dramatically, might I add. Swooned and everything.”
You remembered that practice mission. Quite fondly, actually. Gaz was a civilian and , after being struck by a foam bullet from Soap, had dramatically screamed in agony and crumpled to the floor. When you had lifted him up and over your shoulders, the bastard continued to wail something along the lines of telling his non-existent spouse that he loved them and that his money be given to his equally non-existent children. Soap got in another shot to the man’s head, knocking off his cap in the process. Distracted as you were trying to haul your teammate out of the danger zone, you couldn’t help but laugh thinking about it now. 
“Last time I checked, Gaz is somewhat heavier than a sack of flour. Don’t tell him I said that, I’ll hurt his feelings.” Price was right, you supposed. You were more than capable of carrying Gaz over your shoulders, maybe even Soap or Price himself if the time called for it. Ghost you weren’t so sure about, though. The man was a walking mountain. 
“What I’m trying to say is that you have to give yourself more credit. You’re more than good enough to be on my team. I chose you for a reason.”
You… did not expect that sort of reassurance from Price. You had hoped for something along those lines, yes, but perhaps with a thrown in criticism or three. You waited for a ‘but’ that never came. The man snorted beside you and when you gave him a quizzical look, he waved off your concern.
“Shit, if I didn’t know any better, I’d think the next thing out of your mouth would be that your parents never hugged you as a kid.”
Your silence made him slowly turn his head towards you. It would have almost been comical if the situation wasn’t. His face crumbled and a wounded sound emerged from his throat.
“Sometimes they did!” You rushed to defend the people that raised you. “And they gave me food and shelter, clothes when I needed them–”
“Fucking hell. No, that’s what they’re supposed to do because they’re your parents. What about telling you that they were proud of you? That they loved you? I saw your records. Top of your class in not just your training but in your education, too. Triple sciences, mathematics, all of it. They had to be proud of you for that? My parents would have killed for me to get even a passing grade in my GCSEs.” You looked down at the ground and it was Price’s turn to have his eyes fixed on you. 
“They were proud of you, weren’t they?” He asked again, leaning forwards so he could catch your eye, his own filled with concern. “Kid?”
“I don’t talk to them much anymore.” 
Price inhaled sharply and he leaned back again, looking around and clenching his jaw as if fighting back his anger. His fingers twitched again. You admired his self control as he was still yet to grab a cigar that you knew he kept on his person. Usually in his breast pocket while his lighter was in his right pocket.
“Listen to me.” The Captain said, a more stern edge to his voice now that he had gathered his thoughts together. “Whatever your family said to you— how they treated you? Forget it. They showed you obligation. Not love. They didn’t want what was ‘best’ for you, they wanted bragging rights. What you’ve achieved– here, in bootcamp, in university and in school, is something to take pride in– no, no, look at me.”
Your gaze had trailed to the side so you avoided looking at your Captain in the eyes. He noticed and clicked his fingers to gain your attention back on him.
“Don’t look away from me because I want you to listen to what I’m gonna say and I want you to look at my face as I say it.” Your eyes met his blue ones, “You should be proud of everything that you’ve achieved in your life. I’m sorry that your family never told you that and I’m sorry that I haven’t said that enough to you since you joined 141.”
You opened your mouth to say something– to argue or disagree but he shook his head.
“No. It’s my turn to speak now. I’m proud of you. I am so proud of you. Everything you’ve done and everything that you’re yet to do, I will always be proud of you. You’re an exemplary soldier and I knew the moment I saw you that you would be a perfect addition to the 141 and you have proved me right time and time again. You belong on this team just as much as the rest of the boys. Do you understand?”
So many words– proud, proud, proud. That’s all you had wanted to hear for so many years from someone whose opinion mattered to you. You wanted to be seen and Price, this godsend of a man, had seen you and more.
“Kid, do you understand me?”
You nodded once and then realised that Price wouldn’t have been able to tell through your shaking. Tears blurred in the corners of your eyes and you nodded again, not trusting your voice in case it shattered. 
“What do you need from me?” Price’s voice was oh so soft, like he was talking to a frightened fawn. He could see how much his words had affected you and it clearly broke his own heart.
“A hug.” Your bottom lip wobbled and his face softened as he opened his arms, twitching his fingers to urge you closer.
“I can do that.” 
You leaned into him and he quickly wrapped his arms around you, drawing you in close. You could smell the lingering scent of his last cigar. The smell of his office and cleaning oil. You felt his chin on the top of your head and felt how his chest rumbled as he spoke.
“You’re part of the 141 whether you like it or not, alright? Me and the boys want you here for as long as you want to be.”
At that moment, for the first time in your life. You felt wanted. You felt appreciated and you felt seen.
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obsessive-valentine · 3 months
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Just suddenly thought of it, but I'm imagining your Yan!Fae wants to increase the love between them and their lover (the lover will probably be colder after the kidnapping) and he started thinking of a way, What would it be like for a lover who wants to read books but the books in the library are written in a language they cannot read (I think every race or country would have their own form of writing). I think he will take advantage of that to get closer, like teaching them the words and then praising them (he intentionally kisses their cheeks).
Yandere!Childhood-Friend-Fae x Kidnapped-GN!Reader
Fae 100% have their own language and many variations so it can be difficult for a human to grasp, love this idea. He just wants closeness and to recreate the love he had from reader in his childhood but went about it the wrong way lol -let him try win your favour again ❤️
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You wanted to hate him but you knew the person he used to be was still in there, you grew up with those eyes and that smile and a part of you missed him.
But his voice is different and hes dauntingly tall, he’s colder even if it’s unintentionally he’s not as relaxed and innocent as he used to be. You can’t bring yourself to think of him like you used to, he’s now your kidnapper who slightly resembles your beloved childhood friend.
Stuck in the limbo of not hating but not liking his presence, a indifference badly masking your fear and mourning for your old life. He could tell you were troubled and expected it from such a fragile human, you always were so empathetic and emotional as a kid.
Before he could begin recounting those memories he snapped himself out of it. “Not getting any damn work done” he huffed to himself before standing up from his desk making the dark wood chair scrape against the floors and closing the ink pot for his pen before leaving the room.
He found you sitting comfortably in one of the various lounge rooms of the house, this one you’d taken to most. The sofas were plush and the room wasn’t to big, the carpet and fireplace made it somewhat homely. He lingered in the door way watching you with amusement as you sprawled out on the sofa dramatically, staring at the carved details on the ceiling.
He wondered what you were thinking, you hardly talked to him anymore and tried to slip away from his company any chance you’d get. “Hello love” he started with his knuckles grazing gently on the door like a quiet knock in an attempt to not spook you. Your head tilted awkwardly to look at him with an expecting face “what are you doing in here?” He continues while inviting himself in.
“Nothing, there’s nothing to do. I can’t go outside without you, no sane person to talk to nor books to read” you ranted turning away from him once again, he let the jab about his sanity slide “Ive got a whole library” he replied plainly. You sent him a nasty glare but he stood unmoving just now with a slight grin sneaking on his face.
The smile made it blantantly obvious he was messing with you, you huffed and went back to looking at the ceiling. “Yes I know you can’t read those books but what I’m suggesting is I teach you” you didn’t bother look at him this time instead answering with silent rejection, you rather not be stuck in a room with your captor for hours.
“Suit yourself” his hand gently ran over your hair “I’ll be downstairs if you change your mind” he mentioned rather softly before taking his hand back and leaving the room.
...
That offer was sounding really nice after another boring hour passed, every evening he’d take you for a walk around his gardens but that was hours away and it felt weird and lonely that he was bothering you much less than usual. You knew deep down that he was playing yet another game with your head, making you come to him but you stopped caring about your dignity when the silence became deafening.
Slowly you tiptoed down the lush carpeted stairs and peaked over the banister during a moment of doubt, ultimately you decide to walk to the door. You didn’t knock, you became to nervous, instead you stood and peered into the crack of the door. Before you could turn around “you okay out there love?”
You pushed the door open fully, the book he occupied himself with was already closed in his lap and he sat expectingly. “Come here” he demanded calmly, when you were close enough he gently pulled you down into his lap “change your mind?”
“I’ll go mad if I can’t read” you replied bluntly. You are glad he didn’t push further, instead he sat back comfortably dragging you with him “The books I read are more academic, probably bore you to death”
He reached over to another book laying on the side table “-this book is probably easier to read, a fantasy” there were no other books in the room, you realised that he’d picked that out for you and was waiting for you to come to him. He’d predicted this and it made heat rise to your cheeks in embarrassment, it was frustrating that he’s always right and knows it.
He pulled it in front of you and began teaching you letter by letter and word by word. The whole time not letting you off his lap, it had been maybe 2 hours of repeating sentences after him, but it went by fast. You were so focused and quite comfortable.
So focused you you wouldn’t question it when his hands began wandering down your sides, or tracing your thighs followed by hums of approval. And it would only get worse as days went on quicks kisses on your shoulders then your nape, cheek and eventually grabbing you cheeks to kiss you on the lips.
That night after a walk and dinner he took you to pick out your own book from the library, and instead of going to bed and read his own book as you drift to sleep you both slowly read the first chapter together at candle light. He even rummaged through his draws to find a delicate metal book mark once you both decide to get to sleep.
...
At some point you’d gotten the hang of reading, but he wouldn’t stop there. No, he enjoyed having you in his lap while he taught you what each word meant or correcting your speech. Instead, one morning he calls you into his study and pulls you into his lap.
“You’re getting much better at reading, you’re going to learn to write it now” he left no room argument and handed you the expensive looking dip pen. He liked this activity much more because he had yet another excuse to touch you, for most of it his hand gently hovered over yours, correcting any mistakes. He would lean close over your shoulder so he could read what you were writing but really he’s just pressing himself gains you as close as he can.
You signed up for more than you realised.
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kanmom51 · 11 months
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Dear. Army
I went to bed last night thinking that we won't be getting anything substantial on 7/6 even though we had a calendar showing us this:
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Only to wake up this morning to discover this was uploaded to Weverse at 10pm KST on 7.6.23 (and an hour later to YT).
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Where do I start?
By saying how amazing JM is, how much I love him and his voice and this song.
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This man is an angel pure and simple.
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What did I notice?
First of all the big ass miss out by releasing it at 10 pm KST and not 10:13 pm. All it took was a little more thought put into it. Just a little more.
Well, the next most obvious is of course the absence of a certain Jeon Jungkook in person, performing this song together with JM.
And why do I say in person?
Because even though every other single background sound and vocal was wiped from this performance, JK's background vocals, although subdued, were still there.
Do I admit that I am disappointed?
Fuck yeah.
I'm not only disappointed, I'm actually furious. Not at JM. Not at JK. But at the friggin company that isn't allowing those two to be in one frame, and has been doing this for months now.
And if you pipe up and say: "well that's not true, we've seen them in content together", stop for one second and think about what you are saying, what content that was. Ot7 content (no choice they are all there - and when they were, thinking of the last BTB JM was as loud as fuck, can't help but wonder why - or not) and JM's dance practice BTB, in which we got to see less than a minute of JK at JM's SMF pt. 2 practice. And about that one: first of all, we probably wouldn't have gotten to see that one if not for JM and JK's interaction in JM's live mentioning JK came to see him practicing, and second of all, go have a lookie what was shown to us in that BTB (we don't even get to see JK arriving to the practice - perhaps not to show us not JM's reaction to him arriving nor just how long he stayed there) and compare it to the Like crazy MV BTB and Jhope visiting JM.
And I'm sure I said this before, how stupid this all is, when it's as clear as day (well, thank god for JK and his rebellious streak) that these two are as close as can be. Couple or not. So wtf is the company so scared of? At this point, with everything that JK has been doing in the past few months (and it's not only JK, JM is part of it too of course, but admittedly JK is just not giving a fuck anymore, while JM is doing what he can within his own respectful and very intelligent way) it's bloody ridiculous not having them in content together.
You may think I'm over reacting here, but this is a long time coming, this angry rant of mine. And this here, as expected as it was, it pushed me over the line.
Like I said, It's not like I didn't see this coming. I knew in my heart that they will do this. Try to nullify Letter's importance to JM and JK. Whitewash it as a song for army. But somewhere, somehow, I still had some hope. Well, that one was a bust. And I guess knowing it's coming doesn't change that ache in the gut once it actually does come.
I ask myself, would it have been too obvious in their books? JM and JK singing this together? But why? If it's an innocent letter to army? A token of JM's love for army?
I guess we all know the answer to that.
So, then I am sitting here and thinking about what I said about JM.
How intelligent he is. How he does things within the 'allowed' limitations but still gets the message through.
He did it with the song's name for starters. It's not "Dear Army", which would make it addressed to army, it's "Dear. Army". By adding the period between the Dear and the Army, you literally have him addressing 2: Dear (which we know exactly who that is) and Army.
We have said this over and over again. This song is a song for JK disguised as a song for army. Dear does come first out of the two after all, lol. No, but this is just how things have to be, as long as they remain closeted, and that is totally understandable. This is how JM is telling us all what his feelings are for JK. He's telling JK and us. I know that there are those who believe that the song is talking to us in some parts and to JK in others. I'm not one of them. I believe this whole song (and the original lyrics say it all in my opinion) is addressed to JK. He is Dear. He is the one the Letter was written to. But in saying that, it was given as a gift to us. JM is allowing us to see what they mean to each other. And a gift that certainly is.
I also think about the fact that JM in this performance stripped the song down. No wave sounds. No harmonica. None of his own background vocals. The guitar, it's not him playing (unlike in the actual recorded song). All making it a little less personal perhaps (while singing it to army for Festa). But then, he made sure to leave one thing, and that's JK's background vocals, as soft as they may be, they are still there.
2 things I get from that (and yes, this is art and it's open to interpretation):
First of all, he's stripped the song of it's intimate setting (settings that were him and JK and what was between them).
Second of all, he left JK's vocals in but softer. JK isn't there with him, but JM is still telling us that JK is an inseparable part of this song. That the song can still exist without the waves and the harmonica and his own background vocals, but not without JK. JM even goes quiet at one point during that verse so we can hear JK's vocals clearer.
Maybe that's me being over melodramatic here, but that's what I feel at the moment.
Did you notice how JM doesn't look once at the camera, at us, while singing the song? Not once. The first and only time he looks at the camera, at us, and smiles, is when the song ends.
You know why?
Cause the man, he ain't singing that song to us. He's singing it for us to hear, but we aren't the recipients.
Oh, and did you see the smile on his face once he starts the verse with "baby", yes, that same verse where JK joins in?
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I'm sorry, but you can even hear the smile in his voice as he's singing "baby"...
I apologize that this post isn't all filled with joy and gratitude that we got to see JM performing Letter (Dear. Army). But I have always been honest with you guys, and that is not going to change.
Don't get me wrong. I'm over the moon that we got to hear JM sing this live.
But I'm also sad.
I'm sad because I know how important this song is to both JM and JK. I know that JK would have joined JM in a heartbeat if only given a chance to, or more so, if allowed to. There is no way under the sun that JK was given the chance and declined. NO WAY. So there you have it.
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fizzingwizard · 1 year
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Randomly visited reddit and saw this:
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My first thought: it's an incel pretending to be a woman, because what modern woman thinks she's spoiled milk a 30??? (Aside from also trashing her girl friends - girl, get better friends!) But their profile doesn't seem weird in any way, so, I guess there are some people out there who really somehow believe youth ends at 29. Even some who have aged past it.
It's not even true that all 30 year olds are less beautiful than they were at 20. People age in different ways at at different rates: yeah, your likelihood of getting wrinkles and gray hairs is only ever going to go up. But some people don't have their style figured out in their twenties - some people turn thirty and freaking bloom. And you can't call that a late bloomer. 40 isn't a late bloomer either! 20 is nice but it's not the heaven on earth it's cracked up to be, and 30 is just getting started.
Idk about the rest of you but you know those posts about how embarrassing it is to look back on 14? Yeah, related to those when I was 20. Now I've passed the big 3-0, and guess what - I think 20 year old me was so silly lol. So insecure, so afraid to make mistakes, so resistant to change. I enjoyed my twenties, but my early thirties have so far been way better: I'm more confident, less self-involved, and I find happiness so much more easily than I did back when I thought everything I did had to matter So Damn Much. And if you think that doesn't relate to being attractive: confidence is 90% of it. Just walk up and smile. A confident, happy person always attracts others even if they're just average-looking.
Also for people who like men, don't forget: men in their 30s usually aren't quite the energizer bunnies they were in their 20s when it comes to ~sexy times~ The 20-year-old stud who insisted he could go for a roll multiple times a day, every day, is probably much less gung ho at 30. And also more forward-thinking, and less amaaaaazed by omg boobies!!! When you're young, half the excitement is just how new everything is. It gets less intense, thank goodness. (But it's still hot!)
This post just totally rubbed me the wrong way. It read as a still young woman anxiously wringing her hands in apology for having the audacity to be single at... 30?? And apparently not trusting women to have good advice about dating at 30 (so no point in me responding to her, lol), but perfectly comfortable kissing up to incel mindsets such as "women past 25 should accept that they're sloppy seconds" etc. "Value as a partner" do you have intrinsic worth as a human being?? Yes??? Then your value does NOT degrade. Yeah, you might have gray hair, the horror, so unsexy (I've had very visible grays since I was 23 and been dyeing since 26 lmao). Doesn't mean you're less hot than some 20 year old who doesn't know what she's doing. Doesn't mean it'll be at all hard to find a partner who will love you warts and all. Do you have this same expectation of men? Are you gonna start dating a 30 year old dude and then complain that he gets tired more quickly than a 20 year old would?? Is he less sexy just because he doesn't party all night and drink twice his weight without effect? Overrated overrated overrated!
My parents divorced in their 60s. My mom's got a new boyfriend who takes her dancing under the full moon. They're living their best lives way past their so-called "prime" and no, that is not rare - it's just a choice. If you view yourself as having some expiration date, you're not gonna do anything to improve your happiness once you're past it. Don't let incels or misogyny or whatever convince you your perfectly wholesome milk has gone bad, because that is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
ETA: Well, while I was working this got 150 notes, and although that's barely a drop in the bucket, it's still a lot more than my rants usually get (about 2 lol). So I just want to clarify a couple things so I stop getting comments about them.
This post was from the askmen subreddit. I left that out, feeling "reddit" was context enough, but I guess the implications may not have been obvious, especially to tumblr users who don't also use reddit. Askmen isn't a horrible place (a number of the responders pointed out why they prefer older women to younger ones), but many of its members have a pretty incel-adjacent vibe. Plus there are a number of women (real or not) who post there, many of whom have a similar brown-nosey "unlike those radical feminists, I'm a woman who knows her place" attitude.
It's fine to suggest the OP may have internalized misogyny from being abused - but it's not a given, as nothing in the post is a definite indication of abuse by itself. Big kudos for the compassion - just keep in mind that my response was about general attitudes towards dating post-twenties and not about abuse victims.
To the person who thinks a relationship of six years makes a difference somehow?: You seem to have interpreted my post as an attack on people who feel insecure about returning to dating after a breakup. But I think it's clearly nothing to do with that. Of course it is natural to have anxieties about being single after so long, but nowhere in this post was that denied or mocked. Whether you've been together one year or six, this post would always be weird - those natural anxieties don't make misogynistic mindsets about decrepit 30-year-old women any less gross. If you had decided to write a reaction to the OP's post, perhaps you would have chosen to center it on the effects of coming off a long term relationship, and I'm sure it'd be insightful. However, I am not you, and I chose to react to the attitudes around aging in relationships reflected in the post.
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lightfeltmemories · 5 months
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Hmmm, how about an Hiei x S/O or his crush headcannons? Which the S/O who's a goober, like a sweet and adorable and a very romantic one (overdramatic one...) And like thinking that the S/O is like tall (like I guess 5'10 or smth idk 😅) and he's a smol angry demon man like he doesn't know why he dated/developed feelings for a human that's like this but secretly loves them (I just love the opposite attract and tall and small dynamics xD)
oooooh i love this idea!! i decided to do both (starts off as a crush then he becomes a lover) and ngl i kind of took the enemies to lovers route with this one since i feel like it fits his character more. i also decided to go with the "goofy but very strong character" trope with the s/o because honestly? why not lol.
i surprisingly had a lot of fun writing this and it got longer than expected, he's a little ooc in some parts but eh it's not that big of a deal tbh.
tw: injuries, reader almost dies at one point, brief mention of reader having trauma,
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lets be real, hiei found you annoying at first, not as annoying as kuwabara but damn near close.
when you were going to fight he didn't have much hope in you, you would probably die in under a second knowing your nature, but as soon as you put in work it almost made his jaw drop.
how he developed feelings for you was at that very moment, he doesn't realize it until much later.
the way his stomach gets this thing called "butterflies" when he's near you, he doesn't move away or threaten you when you get near or touch him (he did at first threatening to rip your arm off) but then he can't help but grow hot... uncomfortably hot.
he's thinking you put him under some type of spell, why does he feel this way? especially over a human? sure, you show courage, sure, you fight well, but guaranteed that there are others who do as well...
but then he comes to the realization, he's never met a demon that has ever made him feel this way.
and a certain red head can see right through it.
kurama eventually asks hiei if something is wrong, but hiei states that he's fine, it takes a bit of time to convince the fire demon to come clean, that something is wrong with him, whilst he was ranting, kurama was listening.. and then he came to the realization.. hiei had a crush on you.
when kurama tells him, he denies it, saying that you were just some annoying human, and that he doesn't have crushes or has the time for a relationship, but kurama knows all of that is a lie, he likes you, and him denying everything just makes things worse.
it was made very clear that this information was kept between the two demons, and eventually, hiei would have to tell you.
some time passes by and you manage to get into a scuffle, you end up injured and hiei comes to the rescue, but tells you not to think of it too deeply.
you don't say anything, but hiei has been acting strange, it's gotten to the point where yusuke and kazuma notice, but don't say a word, it's even weirder when it's just the two of you, he's a lot more.. quiet, and noticeably kinder to you, he doesn't insult you as much anymore, other than that, things remain the same.
while your tidying up your wounds you still managed to keep a smile on your face and a sense of humor, going as far as to make fun of your loss.
hiei would've called you an idiot and told you to shut up, but he can't bring himself to do it somehow, the way you talk, your laugh, your smile, the butterflies get stronger and the blush on his cheeks start to grow darker.
damn... what's with this woman?? why is she so... so....?
it would take so much of his ego and pride to just man up and admit that he likes you, he's not good with words unless it's telling people off (he gets better with this, i promise).
eventually, you got into another fight, and your opponent was tough, so tough in fact you almost die fighting, and you ended up passing out for hours upon hours, the team thought you would die.
hiei put on his cold front as usual, but on the inside he's panicking, he can't lose you, not right now at least.
when it's just him in the infirmary, he looks down at your unconscious body feeling the urge to shed a tear, your happiness is... gone, staring down at nothing but a blank face.
he hoped that you didn't die, he made sure that when you wake up, he'll tell you that he likes you... though it's easier said than done, it'll still take a lot out of him.
eventually he gets in a vulnerable state, kurama yet again see's him, noticing that he's shaking, sitting in the grass at the edge of a cliff, staring into the sunset.
they talk for a while, kurama eventually convinces him that if he can't just flat out tell her, he could just write her a note, and even better, give her a gift.
but what would she even like?
he heard in passing with your talk with his sister, yukina, that you really liked cupcakes (im sorry if you don't like cupcakes just try to imagine it's like some other desert), so, he gets some cupcakes.. from somewhere... somehow... and writes you a letter about how he wants you to be his mate.
and when you say yes.. you're locked in.. forever.
eventually you do wake up, find the cupcake next to the table and eat it, noticing the note and reading over it, it comes to you almost as a shock... hiei? likes you? no way, this has to be some type of elaborate prank.
you do end up seeing hiei, who can't even look at your face, i mean you have to admit.. he's cute, a cute little short guy, while you're taller than him by some inches, he doesn't seem to mind this, he knows he's stronger than you, height doesn't mean jack shit to him.
and so, you accept his request, and now, the two of you are officially dating! or at least that's what you think and he wants.
at first, nothing changes, he's still a tad bit nervous around you, he ordered that there should be no pda in front of the team, he's not ready to tell everyone yet.
when you two are alone, he still had barriers up, not feeling the most comfortable with you yet, the two of you talk and get to know each other, realizing that the reason you were the way you were was because of your trauma, so you masked it with humor.
it takes a while for the two of you to be more intimate (not sexual), holding hangs, hugging, kissing, of course when there wasn't anyone around.
the only person he trusts in regards of knowing about the relationship is kurama and mukuro, no one else.
it takes him a bit to admit that he definitely loves his s/o, and you might've been one of the best things that has happened to him.
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thetopichot · 5 months
Text
•°♧ Seth Fluff Alphabet ♧°•
7/7. I'VE DONE I'M FREE IM FREEEEEEEE RELEASE ME FROM MY CAGEEEEEEEE *rattles the cage of my enclosure*
CW: Suggestive
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A = Abundance Of Love (Are they a loud lover that loves to express their love in many ways or are they a quiet lover that loves those quiet intimate moments?)
He is, without a doubt in sight, a loud lover. He's proud to have ya as his partner & he is not afraid to show it. Expect that man to yee his haw everytime he's with you. You make him so happy that I doubt he would contain it.
B = Brave (Were they the first to confess? If so, how did the confession go?)
He was! He was quite nervous to confess to you since he wasn't sure if you liked him back or not. You guys would throw around playful flirts to each other, but he thought it as silly friendly banter between you two & nothing more than that, which made him more nervous about telling how he feels about you.
He loves you, but for some reason, it hurts so much. Ah, situationships. Everyone's worst enemy when it comes to friends to lovers. Now this is the part where I fucking struggle here since Seth, I don't think, doesn't have his own separate storyline besides Bittersweet & I guess that Camping AU (Which is not canon by the way). For the sake of my sanity, I will be using the Bittersweet storyline with some sprinkles of the Camping AU. Capeesh? Good.
Anyway back to business, he takes you to the bar that you guys met for the first time & practically called you a homewrecker in cowboy terms. He still feels bad about that, lol. You notice that he's a lot more nervous & not showing his confidence demeanor. You ask him, "Hey, you good dude?". His smile says yes, but his eyes & hands are saying no. You catch it since the vibes from him were already like off as fuck.
You take him outside & ask him what's wrong then he just fucking breaks & rants how much he just adores you. He tells you that he was scared that he was just imagining things.
"I love you, I mean it."
He wasn't imagining things, however.
C = Control (Do they take the wheel of the relationship or do they let someone else do the driving?)
I think he would flip-flop between the two. He takes care of you & sets up dates for you two. On the other hand, you do the same & you try to protect him from doing stupid shit sometimes like him seeing a shadow & chasing after it, thinking it's probably Mothman.
D = Dreamboat (What do they find attractive in their partner(s)?)
He loves how sweet you are to him. Despite him being a bad boy, which sorta scares people off & also he's a dick time to time, but you still stay by his side regardless of everything. He loves that more than anything.
E = Empathetic (If their partner(s) was in a not so good mood, how would they cheer them up?)
He would make some soup for you if you needed it, or he would cuddle you to make you feel better. He would say the most reassuring things like "You're the strongest person I know, Sugar" or "I will gladly take a break with you if ya want."
F = Forgiving (If they had a fight with their partner(s), how would they apologize? Or would they be petty about it?)
He would be a bit petty at the start, but of course, being petty doesn't solve a damn thing. It just makes things even worse & since it's you, that's worsens the situation even more. So he gathers up the courage to talk about the fight & how he is sorry.
He hates fighting with you. He hates fighting with everyone, but you're not "everyone." You're his Sugar & he will do anything for you.
G = General (Random Fluff Headcanon)
He has a huge collection of cowboy hats. Well, duh, he's a cowboy. However, whenever he puts the hat on you, you look so silly. He likes it when you wear his hats. You look kissable, lol.
H = Home (How would they feel living with their partner(s)?)
YEEEEEEEEHAWWWWW‼️‼️🤠🤠
Bro already got his stuff in his arms. He can do it he's a big muscle boy. This man has been waiting for this moment. He was just too scared to ask though, but living with you is quite a treat. He enjoys every moment & he's gonna make them all count.
I = Idealistic (What's their personal preference in a special someone?)
He likes sweet hearted people, but he also likes it when someone who gives the same energy back in a playful manner. He says a crude joke & you say one back. Just matching eachothers energy is the best thing he could ask from someone.
J = Jealousy (Do they get protective of their partner(s) when someone flirts with them?)
Oh, absolutely. IT'S ON SIGHT, my guy. If someone makes you uncomfortable & disrespects your boundaries, that motherfucker is gonna yee his last haw when Seth catches them. However, if it's in a playful manner, like it's someone you know & if you're comfortable with it, he does get jealous, but he's not gonna make a big fuss about it. He just brings you closer to him. You're his, understand?
K = Key To The Heart (What is something that will make them fall in love instantly?)
Honestly, letting Seth just be Seth. Makes his heart melt into a big country boy puddle.
L = Luxurious (Do they spoil their partner(s) rotten? If they do, how do they spoil them?)
Yeah! :D He's a biker guy, so ya'll already KNOW. He enjoys taking you on rides on his motorcycle a lot. It could be just a short ride around town because it's nice to get some fresh air or just a long calming ride to find a spot for camping. He loves it when you hold on to him like just straight up holding on to him for dear life.
"Don't worry, I got ya. Ain't gonna let a sweet thing like you fall off."
M = Marriage (How would they feel about getting married?)
Marriage makes everyone feel nervous. Regardless if you look forward to it or not. Especially Seth. He does enjoy the idea of calling you his spouse, but he's obviously nervous about it. This is one of the most important things in his life & he doesn't want to like fuck up so bad that everything is set on fire bad. He doesn't want to end up like his mama or his dad. He wants to be better. For you & him. It's even worse that this motherfucker is scared of commitment which adds to his fear even more.
His heart is in the right place, that's for sure. He just wants you to be happy & he wants to be the best partner he can be. You already know that because he is.
N = Nobility (How honest are they to their partner(s)? Do they hide anything?)
Well, he does try to hide his past. He doesn't want you to be involved with the things he did in the past. Besides that, he is pretty honest with you.
O = Overwhelmed (If they were in a not so good mood, how can their partner(s) help them out?)
He doesn't have the energy to deal with what he had to deal with. He just wants to lay down with you & cuddle. It makes him feel a bit better when he just talks about his feelings & what's currently making him stress the fuck out. He also really likes it when you rub his back & just say sweet nothings to him. He just falls asleep automatically & honestly, he's not complaining.
P = Passionate (What is something to them that means a lot to them that only their partner(s) knows about it?)
Cryptids. Spooky creatures that lurk all around the world. He doesn't really talk that much about it since he doesn't really have anyone to talk to about it because when he does, he looks like a lunatic & that one meme where that guy has multiple red yarns connecting to everything. You, however, listen to him rant about it & he talks about it a lot with you. He plans that one day, you guys will finally have proof that Mothman exists.
Q = Quirky (Something silly that they do.)
There was legit one time that you caught him making a huge ass clue board in the garage. This clue board was trying to find the Mothman. You got mad at him since the garage was a complete mess. In the end, you guys found a perfect place to put it. You got him a corkboard to put in your guys bedroom.
R = Romantic (What is their love language?)
Physical Touch. He really loves being cuddled with. He likes back hugs, kisses, your hand on his leg, hugs, you name it. He loves everything about it. He wants to feel you near him. Not only does it protect you & but it also makes him feel very safe. So technically speaking, you're protecting each other.
S = Sublime (What is the best gift that their partner(s) can give them?)
He doesn't really have a gift in mind that is truly the best gift ever. Well it's actually finding Mothman, but he wants to find Mothman himself. He wants to be the first person to find Mothman & laugh in the faces who didn't believe him.
However, the best gift he could ask for is already right in front of him. You. You're willing to put up with his dorky antics & his nature is something that he can not get enough of. You guys are practically unstoppable & he loves that. You treat Seth like Seth. Like he can be himself without hiding underneath a mask. All he could ask is for you to stay with him.
T = Touching (How do they feel about PDA?)
Well, his love language is physical touch. Why wouldn't he like PDA? You gettin' kissies from him all the time, bucko.
U = Undeniable (Did everyone know about their crush on their partner(s)?)
Despite being a massive dork around you, nobody really caught on. Well, you kinda did, but you didn't really think too much of it.
V = Visionary (What do they want their future to look like with their partner(s)?)
Honestly, he isn't sure. He hasn't really thought much about the future. However, there is one thing he wants & that's you. If he could spend time with you for the rest of his life, that's something he is looking forward to. Also getting a big ass dog. He loves dogs.
W = Wacky (General Fluff Headcanon. Again.)
He almost always forgets to take a shower after coming back from work. You get mad at him & you don't let him join you in the bed until he cleans up. He looks at you with those sad puppy dog eyes.
"Sug, please. 🥺"
But as soon as you offer to join him in the shower, he shuts the hell up & he is already in the bathroom waiting for you.
X = Xaroncharoo (Yes, that's a word. Look it up. In a domestic sense, what are they exceptional at in the home?)
Despite being a mechanic, he is pretty good at fixing some things up within the house. He ain't a plummer, but he's pretty good at fixing up the shower. He doesn't really see as anything different from fixing up cars. He just knows what's wrong with it, then boom, good as new.
Y = Yearning (If their partner(s) went out to get something without them/went off to work, how would they feel about it?)
He'll probably get bored without you & watch some analog horrors or those YouTube videos that go into true crime. When you come back, expect to find Seth snoring loudly on the couch.
Z = Zonked (How do they cuddle?)
He likes to hug you from behind as his head is in the crook of your neck. Or you could just hide your face in his boobies. That's an option, too.
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☆ミ Author's Notes Underneath 👇 ☆ミ
🩷 - THE CURSE HAS BEEN LIFTED & IM FREEEEEEEE‼️‼️
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Anyway, thank you for sticking with me for this writing challenge. This was a PAIN in the ass to do mostly because SO MUCH SHIT happened to me & stuff has been kicking me in the ass but it is done. I'm free & now as a reward for me, I shall be making my well-deserved trophy.
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ughgoaway · 5 months
Note
Dying to know what you would write for y/n’s first Mother’s Day with Matty and Annie
this is so so interesting to think about!!!!
so I think for the first mothers Day when you're with matty, nothing out of the ordinary happens. or nothing out of the ordinary happens to you anyway.
you ask matty a few days before how Annie feels about it, and he casually says, "Oh, she doesn't really mind. she knows it's coming, and to her, it's just another day!" So you treat it like that too.
you don't go out of your way to comment on it or make a big deal. You just get on with your day! the same cannot be said for matty...
he doesn't think Annie feels any way about it, seemingly like her normal bubbly self. But just as he's taking her to bed- she says something.
he feels strange the whole day. this is the first time he's had a girlfriend that annie knows about, and it's an actual serious relationship.
he knows it's way too soon, and you're not Annie's mum, but it kind of feels like you are?? and he's not sure how to feel.
"Did you have a good Mother's Day, Daddy?"
matty pauses and looks at Annie confused before slowly saying, "... yes, I did, sweetheart. why do you ask?"
"You were being weird around y/n allllllll day," Annie answers, organising her toys carefully as she speaks.
matty decided not to share this internal monologue with Annie and simply said, "Oh. I didn't mean to be. I'm just worried about you i think munchkin"
oh.
had he been? matty thought he'd been pretty normal, casual, and cool. but if Annie had noticed- he definitely had not been.
fuck he hope you didn't notice (you didn't, too distracted by trying a new banana bread recipe lol)
"Why?" Annie said with a scrunched up face, matty had to stifle a laugh at her confused face.
"I know it must be hard on days like this because your mummy isn't in our lives. I just want to make sure my best girl is okay. " matty strokes Annie's head as she lies down to sleep.
"I'm fine, Daddy." she says nonchalantly, "Plus, y/n is like my mummy now anyway, so maybe next year we can all have fun"
with that, she drifts off, leaving matty in stunned silence. he truly is just 👁👄👁 for 10 minutes.
he doesn't mention it to you, but he does think about it INTENSELY.
////
now cut to a few years later, you and matty are going strong (perhaps even engaged...) and it's rolling up to mothers Day again.
and this year- you both feel odd.
you really had become Annie's mum. you sent out family cards from the 3 of you, you go to her parent's evenings (when you can slip away from doing them yourself lol) and you have lived with them for a while.
you do everything for Annie and love her endlessly. She feels like your own child.
matty stirs awake and sees you lying there, voice heavy with sleep he asks, "Are you alright, baby? why are you awake?"
so you bring it up to matty.
One night, you're lying in bed awake, and it's far too late, but you're just staring at the ceiling.
in your sleep deprived state, you don't hesitate to get straight to the point, "Am I Annie's mum?"
Well... that was NOT what matty was expecting to hear. this wasn't a topic he thought he'd be tackling at 3am on a Wednesday but, fuck it! here he goes.
"...what brought this up, babe?" matty asks tentatively, pulling you into his chest. you rest your head on him and sigh heavily before speaking.
"Um... I think that really depends on how you and annie feel. from my perspective? yes?" matty sounds unsure as he speaks, feeling like he's walking on egg shells
"I don't wanna scare you or anything, but you are practically her mum." matty pauses for a reply, but you stay silent, the only audible noise being your joint breathing.
"I don't know, with mothers Day coming up, it's just been on my mind. I feel like a mother, I act like a mother, and I do everything a mother does. but am I a mum? I didn't give birth to her, and I wasn't here from the start, so it feels selfish to call myself one and-"
matty shushes you and cuts off your rant before it goes too far, "its not selfish, sweetheart - it's realistic." matty pauses and takes a breath before continuing.
"If it helps, Annie said you were already her mum that very first mothers Day you spent with us. so I wouldn't think too deeply about it. " he shrugs as he speaks and turns the bedside lamp off.
matty had assumed this would calm you - it did not.
"Don't worry about it, babe. I'll do it," matty says, bringing you back down and wrapping the duvet around the two of you.
"WHAT." You pull up and look at matty wide-eyed, leaning over him and flicking the light back on
he looks back confused, and you really have to take a moment to realise hes not being intentionally dumb.
"Why did you only just decide to tell me this??? it's been years, Matthew!!! oh god, this changes everything. I have to talk to her about it. fucking hell-"
"really?"
so he did! it was the day before mothers Day, and you were out shopping with charli. she needed a new dress for a fancy date george was talking her on, and you were more than happy to help!
"of course"
///
Annie was peacefully sat on the sofa watching high school musical 2 with mayhem. He was peacefully snoring in her lap as she sang along to fabulous (the best hsm movie and the best song, btw)
"So... Annie, how are you..."
fuck. Why would he ask that?? what a shit way to start.
Annie pauses and looks at matty weirdly before responding, "okay i think?"
"Good, good... can we talk?"
"Do you want to do anything for mothers Day this year? for y/n, i mean. not me or anything. that would be weird." matty stops himself going off on a tangent and coughs awkwardly and waits for a response.
Annie pauses the movie and nods tentatively, matty sits next to her and can't help but jump straight in.
his nerves were ruining any chance at a coherent thought.
5 seconds feels like 5 hours, but he couldn't be more relieved when she excitedly says, "Yes!!! oh, please, can we!?! I want to get her flowers and chocolates!!"
matty sighs a breath of relief and nods. He grabs his keys and says, "Definitely. let's go to tesco then, cmon!"
///
the next morning, matty is up early... suspiciously early.
you wake up to whispered voices and hear a tray clanging slightly,
annie and matty saying "surprise!!" wakes you up fully, and you are shocked to see them with a tray of pancakes, coffee, and a bouquet of flowers.
immediately you tear up, but you have to ask to make sure you're not misinterpreting this.
"Oh wow! what's all this???" You say sitting up as matty puts the tray next to you on the bed.
"Happy mothers Day!!!" squeals Annie excitedly, "Dad said I was finally allowed to give you presents today!" she smiles big as she finishes, almost looks anxious awaiting your response.
tears start rolling down your cheeks, and you pull Annie in, squeezing her so tight she loses all the air in her lungs.
"Oh, Annie. thank you so so much. I love you, sweetheart." You pull back and wipe your tears, and Annie can't look happier, gummy smile and bright eyes staring back at you.
shyly, she says, "You're welcome. i love you too"
"You want to share my pancakes, sweet girl?" You ask, already cutting it up for the two of you.
"yes!!!" Annie says bouncing on the bed.
matty might as well not be there, but that is honestly exactly how he wanted to feel.
you don't need him. you're Annie's parent now too.
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obeymycok · 2 years
Text
Poking Their Armpit
Not a day goes by in my house without someone being poked in their armpit while they stretch. I assume it’s relatively similar for most households especially for those who have siblings. This is how the obey me bros would react to you poking them when they’re having a nice stretch lol.
Lucifer
So you wish to die?
He thought he could trust you :(
You two were sitting in his room together, him finishing up some paperwork, you sitting in a chair next to him on your DDD.
I just know he has horrible posture when he works.
*Queue big stretch from the peacock* 
*Poke*
Wings shoot out at maximum speed and just barely miss your face as he whips his entire body towards you with a very angry and an even more surprised face.
The demon was too stunned to speak
“...Did...did you j-...no...there’s no way......you-..”
He quickly recovers and that annoyed look is back.
“Please, MC. I’m very busy right now.”
You better believe the next time you stretch and every time he catches you after that (if he isn’t in front of someone important) he will poke you and you never even see it coming most of the time.
Congrats, you’ve started a war you will not win.
Mammon
Oh poor Mams.
You both just had a successful night at the casino and Mammon was busy counting it all for the 36th time.
“Man you should’ve seen their faces MC!” “I did Mammon, I was right next to you.” “Yeah but like from MY point of view y’know!?”
Getting a little bored with the same rant and the apps on your device, you decided to have a little fun with him.
Now, Mammon is very dramatic with his movements when he’s excited and it sparks an idea.
Slowly sliding over, you wait for the perfect time to strike.
“That’s gotta be the biggest jackpot I’ve won in centuries! It was literally like tHI-AGHHH!?!!?”
Literal SQUAWK (did a crow just fly into the window?)
The wad of cash in his hand is now scattered across his room and he is on the floor in .02 seconds picking it all up.
“WHA-WHAT THE HELL MC??!!?! YOU MADE ME LOSE COUNT AND NOW IT”S ALL OVER THE FLOOR AND IT”S GETTING WRINKLED AN-”
But he just can’t resist that adorable laugh of yours. 🥺
He gets all pouty for awhile but forgives you immediately if you help him pick it up.
ABSOLUTELY does it to you every possible chance he gets and it’s a game now between the two of you
Leviathan
Why did you think this was a good idea, he can’t handle touch when he’s expecting it. (Levi kinnie moment 🤪)
You were watching him beat the final boss in a new game he’d recently bought.
You were excited to spend time with him and see him so happy but you wanted some attention yourself
But of course, you never interrupt Levi when he's gaming (and that's why he loves you🥺🧡)
Patiently waiting until he's done while hyping up your Lord of Shadows, you hatch a devious plan :)
He finally beats the final boss and jumps up to cheer, while simultaneously stretching his back out.
You strike like Henry 1.0 *poke*
Leviathan.exe has stopped working.
When I tell you this man LEAPS into the air.
Headphones on the floor, still miraculously plugged in, and your demon in his ceiling, horn first, tail wrapped around his torso.
“WAAAH!!! MC YOU”RE SUCH A NORMIE!!! But of course you would do that to such a yucky and gross otaku I mean who would eve...”
After much convincing that you don’t hate him, he finally comes down but he’s still a little salty. 
Just play a game with him and he’ll be good.
He might try and poke you back like once but if he succeeds he’ll feel bad and apologize for touching you.
Satan
So you have chosen death.
Seriously though make sure he isn't in a bad mood or about to lose his shit.
So let's say y'all were in his room reading silently.
You both had different books so there was no way reading aloud would be helpful, which is why you got kinda lonely.
Your book was at a slow point and it seemed like you just couldn't retain anything you were reading.
Usually Satan would notice and offer to read to you, but his book was just starting to reach it's climax.
Staring at his expressions as his eyes scan the words on the page, you realize you want those eyes on you.
Of course, like Leviathan and gaming, don't interrupt Satan when he's reading something interesting.
Eventually when the drama dies down he looks up and notices your stare, inviting you over to talk about what just happened in the story.
As you got up to sit by him, he stretched both his arms above his head and the mighty Avatar of Wrath looked like a kitty 🥺
Of course you couldn't pass up the opportunity to poke his armpit though after being so patient.
*poke*
Never have you seen someone flinch so hard and so fast
He just kinda stares at you for a few seconds before he bursts out laughing.
You’ve started an unwinnable war, but unlike Lucifer, he will do it at literally every possible chance no matter who is around or what you’re doing
Asmodeus
Just pray to God you didn’t mess his up his eyeliner.
You were sitting on Asmo’s bed while he sat at his vanity and did his makeup.
He let you pick how he should do it and insisted you stayed until he was done so you could see it as soon as possible and be the first one. 🥺
Problem is, Asmo spends on average a couple hours to put his makeup on and there’s only so many games on your DDD.
He’d had his arms up for awhile doing his left eye, which put the idea in your head.
You got up and watched closer, Asmo also loving the attention.
Unbeknownst to Asmo, you were waiting until he moved the eyeliner pen far enough away from his eye (you’re not stupid)
He pulled the pen away to turn and look at you, and you made your move. *poke*
The cutest high pitch scream🥺
“Oh MC! You’re so devious and sneaky! You’re lucky you didn’t ruin my makeup darling!”
Playfully upset and demands smooches as an apology, as well as compliments on the look.
He’ll get you back once in awhile; he thinks it’s cute and flirty.
Beelzebub
You guys were watching a movie in the common room and snacking on some stuff from the human world.
Getting a little full yourself, you glanced at Beel whose speed still hadn’t faltered in the slightest.
It really is an amazing sight to witness.
His arms were constantly being held parallel as they served as shovels for all his chips and candy.
And that’s when the idea struck you.
*poke*
He did a little jump and choked a little.
Luckily there was still plenty of water nearby.
He just kinda stared at you like a confused puppy and you started to feel bad :(
“If you wanted some gummy worms, you could’ve just asked MC. I’m always willing to share food with you.” 🥺😭
Happy Beel noises when you accept a few, despite getting full.
He now pokes you anywhere convenient when he’s hungry. 
Belphegor
Angry cow
You were napping in the attic with him since Beel was using the room for a workout and the other brothers were being loud with their usual shenanigans.
As usual, you woke up much earlier than him and you’d already done all your dailies, as well as scrolled through your feed for awhile.
In your eyes, it was time for him to A W A K E N
“But how?”
How to wake up the Avatar of Sloth without him being violently enraged, now that was a toughie.
After overthinking it for awhile, you noticed how his arms were stretched up over his head.
“That’ll do” was the last thing that went through your head before *poke*
His arms flew down, but his eyes remained closed.
You thought it was just a bodily reaction until the scowl crept onto his face.
“MC...fucking why?” he growled as his eyes slowly opened to a squint.
He may look upset but if you tell him you just wanted to cuddle/want some cutesy attention, he’ll melt in a second.
He’ll still be a brat and tease you, but he isn’t the youngest for nothing.
He’ll get his revenge immediately and do it when he wants your attention from then on.
The only way to stop the torment is to cuddle him like the pillow princess he is <3 🥺
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stormblessed95 · 1 year
Note
When will this fanservice narrative ever EVER gonna die down? Seriously, people. It’s 2023. We need to evolve as a fandom, come on.
As someone who came from outside of kpop into this gigantic and at times spectacular mess of a fandom, the fs mentality is something that really took me time to understand. Because I used to be a fan of rock and emo bands (wow, that was a while ago) in which members would kiss, lick each other’s faces and roll on the floor together in a bundle of instruments and mic cords at concerts (and well, sometimes in behind the scenes footage and in interviews) and we KNEW they were ramping it up a bit for us, but no one for a second thought that meant their feelings for each other and their intimacy wasn’t genuine.
Also, I can’t even fathom how exhausting would it be for someone to spend every single moment of their lives pretending to be close, super friendly and intimate with a coworker they’re not even that crazy about. I like most of my coworkers but spending 8h with them in a office is more than enough. Certainly wouldn’t feel like licking their ears because my boss is telling me to. 😂
And what kills me is that it only happens with our maknae line, doesn’t it? Yoongi and Joon being soft for each other and showering each other with compliments in Suchwita was fs? How about when Yoon joined Taeyang in praising Jimin’s performance in Vibe? When Hobi comments in every post of the boys, is he doing fs? Tae saying he misses Jin’s comments in his live was fs too?
I’m sure there are groups out there in which some members secretly hate each other and they have to play it cool in front of cameras, it happens, it’s life, you don’t love everyone you work with. But we have witnessed the boys time and time again saying how much they love other, how they get along well, how they’re one big family, how they admire each other and, more than that, how much they value authenticity and being real. They are 7 people that are not afraid to be dorky and to look stupid, that make each other break out laughing easily, that are not afraid to speak their minds, that can be sassy and sarcastic when they want to, that have gone and still go against the rules and what is expected of them and that have reached a level of fame, recognition and professional and personal maturity that allows them to simply refuse to do something that goes against what they believe (JK’s answer to the “did you get scolded?” question in his last live was pretty much that lol “I got to a point in which I do what I want” 🤣).
The fanservice narrative in this fandom is awful and toxic not only because it disrespects their relationships, but because it completely disregards their liberty, their dignity and their voice and belittles them as rational grown up individuals, reducing them as simple spineless toys that let their company dictate what they do, even if it supposedly hurt themselves, the fans or other people they care about, and if you think that, are you really a fan of these people? Is this really how you want to view your idols?
Sorry for using your tumblr to rant, Storm, but the fs narrative really irks me and it NEEDS. TO. GO.
Nothing to add.
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Weak Hero thoughts, rants, and spoilers for chapters 263 to current.
Sorry if this gets lengthy, but I got some feelings to express.
So, I gave myself a few days to process my thoughts and emotions on the conclusion of Weak Hero. To try and make sense of the direction the author decided to take his story on. And honestly, I'm still left feeling let down and disappointed.
In my opinion, one of the greatest slights an author can do to their fanbase and to their work, especially if it's a lengthy story, is to end the story abruptly. To me that is the equivalent to a slap in the face. A big slap to all the fans who have invested their time, energy, and possibly even money to the story the author has been creating. Years of tuning in and refreshing pages, only for the ending to feel so damn rushed.
I was really holding out for a small sliver of hope, I wanted to "trust the process." Maybe there would be an introduction to an amazing plot twist, or a great revelation to understand and explain why the storyline turned into what it did. But at this point, with only the epilogue left, none of that is gonna probably happen, and I'm left wondering why?
I've even wondered if the kdrama had any influence on how Weak Hero ended. Would it have been different if the kdrama never existed? Did Seopass just get tired of his story and the characters, maybe he wanted to move on to something else already? Cuz any which way that I try to look at it, I just can't comprehend why he chose that ending. Especially for Donald. One of the most charismatic characters in the series. The final boss, who possessed both brains and unmatched brute strength. A master strategist who managed to unite a whole district. A literal unbeatable character.... who he gets done in by a wayward truck!?! Right after the biggest fight in the series!?! Like, are you for fucking real? That's how his demise happens?!!?
I'm not even a Donald fan! He was never my fave (that honor always went to Jimmy ❤️), but even I expected more for him. Donald didn't even go down swinging, kicking, barely hanging on by the skin of his teeth. His death happening in the same way he lived his life, like some sort of poetic justice. No. We got none of that. Instead, we get a self defeated Donald, who was reaching out to the universe for someone to stop him, and who purposefully? didn't avoid the truck???
I'm sorry but no, DONALD DESERVED BETTER!!! HE, AS A CHARACTER, DESERVED BETTER!!!!
AND THEN, we get thrown some pity crumbs at the end with Stephen. Which to me was just another rushed ending. We get some half assed reunion. No backstory on what Stephen had to go through. No idea what his thoughts were while recovering from his near fatal drop. Did he ever think of Gray? Did he ever try looking for him?
Was I the only one that expected more from Stephen and Gray's reunion??? I can't be the only one completely disappointed, or am I?
I am however grateful we got to see Stephen again, I really am, and that we got a conclusion for him. Since it didn't happen with some of the other plotlines.
For instance, what happened to the Mapo guys, and Changhui saying they were going to wait for an opportunity to strike back? Am I the only one that remembers this?
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And where the capital F was Wolf's backstory? He's a fan favorites and we get nothing? No idea on why he's a such a psycho or the reasoning behind his 3 second rule? Or even why he has it out for Grape so much?
And let's not forget about this guy! He never even got a name!
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There's more, but I'm not gonna go into all of that right now since I don't want to just trash this series. I fell in love with it for a reason, and now I want to talk about the parts that I enjoyed, and that made me remember why I  loved this series so much in the first place.
Like...
The fact that Jimmy wanted Donald's recognition. Even after talking crap about him every chance he got~ lol. He still valued him as a capable leader and cared about how Donald perceived him.
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And how Jimmy's signature wrist swish was influenced by Donald!!! I would have never in a million years thought that Donald was the reason and inspiration for it.
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And I absolutely loved how Jimmy and Wolf were bickering at the end. It completely reminded me of siblings arguing with each other at any and every opportunity! I know there's gotta be some underlying respect and friendship for each other there, waaay deep inside, somewhere in a dark crevice of their little crazy hearts. 😆
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And cuz I want to gloat too, I'm gonna add Jimmy whooping Gerard's butt. Take that shuttle patch!
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I was also pretty surprised by how distraught Phillip became after Donald's death. Especially considering that the last time Phillip had any real interaction with him, Donald pretty much blew him off. Phillip not being important enough for even a backwards glance. For Phillip to still remember what it was like standing next to someone like Donald, and to have all those emotions come out of him just broke my heart.
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And I am not about to forget my lovely Colton! Our very first villain. Pervy villain at that! And how much growth he's had, even as a secondary character. I went from feeling disgusted at him to wanting to give him all the hugs and support in the world.
I love you Colton you big doof! 🫶
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And with that last thought I end this. Because as much as I hate the ending, I can go on and on about the things that I did like.
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tqmies · 1 year
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Description. Now armed with a new support system, you're ready for anything that'll be thrown at you. That is, until your world starts to shift out of order. And unfortunately, Taehyun is taking this way harder than you.
Pairings. Kang Taehyun x Female Reader
Genre. Angst, Fluff Kinda, Comfort. (This is a self ranting again lol.)
Warnings. Pregnancy (Not MC), Everyone's an emotional wreck, Taehyun's pushing everyone away, MC is confused half the time.
Word count. 6.7K (Why do I keep doing this?!)
Note. This is Part 2 of Free Somebody. I don't recommend reading this a stand alone, as you'll be very confused. Also this is once again based on real events, and I tried to convey my thought process as best as I could but.. LMAO. Some things end up unresolved but that is real life so, bear with me and enjoy.
IN THE FEW MONTHS YOU SPENT TOGETHER, YOU FIGURED OUT KANG TAEHYUN WAS HARD TO READ. Not that you held it against him or anything, but he kept you at a sizable distance and rarely shared his emotions with you.
It felt kind of embarrassing at first, seeing as you opened yourself to him so early on. Sure, it wasn't on purpose but it still happened.
So for him to call for you in such a frantic mood, said a lot about the his state of thinking right now, and you didn't know what to make of it.
Meanwhile, Taehyun felt like his world spinning out of control. All of this was happening, too much too fast.
You stood by his door, him having called you a couple minutes prior. He was scared, and he didn't want to be alone right now. Sure, the two of you weren't suddenly the best of friends. But right now, he just needed a set of ears to listen, and you were fine to oblige.
One of the perks of not being super close was that you wouldn't judge him for his reactions. You didn't expect him to hold it together or be something he's not. No, you caught the rawest sides of him, as he had seen yours. He had tried his best to keep you at arms-length when concerning his emotions, but right now was different. You knew when he pushed his pride aside to pick up the phone and call you, that this was a big deal. Though, didn't that just mean you were closer than you thought?
"I feel sick." Taehyun mutters, motioning for you to enter his room.
"What's wrong?" You question, noting the silence in the apartment. "And where are your roommates?"
His face goes pale at that. They were the last thing he wanted to talk about right now, or for lack of better words, one of them.
"I don't know what to do." Taehyun says, not looking up. His minds fleshing out a million thoughts and solutions, all written neatly side by side. Something of a white board in a science class, formulas drawn all across the expanse, but instead of equations it was just his bleeding problems.
"About what?" You say, growing anxious at the lack of explanation. He was clearly bothered by something, but his resistance in remaining secret was off putting.
"I'm supposed to be the rational one, the problem solver, but I have no idea what to do." He sighs, staring down at his hands.
"That's normal." You respond, moving to sit on the chair by his desk. Trying to collect your thoughts on what would be best to say next, though first you'd like to know what's shaken him up like this.
"Sakura's pregnant." He blurts out, your head whipping around to meet his. He almost flinches back as he said it, not expecting to be so transparent with you. Taehyun also knew it was none of his business to share, but he couldn't help it. It was like you had suddenly turned into a magnet that pried all this information out of him.
He felt his resolve slipping away and he hated it. For once he felt like he couldn't tighten his grip on his emotions.
"What?!" You whisper-yell, dumbstruck. "How do you-"
"I saw the test in the trash." Taehyun reveals. "Beomgyu's the father."
You run your hands through your hair. "This can't be happening." Taehyun had just dropped a huge bomb on you and was talking like he was discussing his lunch plans. One would think, how is he so collected? But you knew better, by the slight shake of his hands and his drawn out breathes, he was scared.
"Are you sure its her's?" You ask, maybe this was a misunderstanding.
"Soobin hasn't been with a girl in months. And he'd never be stupid enough to trash a positive test. Plus Beomgyu's straight in love with Sakura, it's not possible to think he would cheat." Taehyun says, recalling how he saw the stick sitting upright in the bin.
The words entering your head as you think. There could be another explanation right? Taehyun wasn't even fully sure, how could he be reacting like this?
"This is my fault. I led her straight to him. I never thought they'd be so reckless." He confessed, the words coming straight from his heart.
"Are you serious? They're adults Taehyun! This was their responsibility ok?" You speak, still a bit shaken by the news.
Your best friend was pregnant? How far along was she? When did she find out? What was she going to do now?
"But she's not ready for a baby, much less with Beomgyu."
This was truly a terrifying situation.
"Do you think she has a plan?" You ask, chewing your nail.
"I doubt she has one. Probably hasn't thought it through that far."
"We're not even sure that's what's going on." You attempt, trying to clear his thoughts.
Though you found it kind of hard to understand Taehyuns worry, it was a baby. This was not the end of the world, it wasn't even happening to him. Sure, things would change. But change is good, right?
Though, you'e determined to be there for him. So you try to comfort him the best way you know how. By distracting him.
You clap your hands together. "Okay, why don't we do something?"
"What?" He groans, not believing you had just said that.
"Lets watch a movie, something to take your mind off of things."
"I don't need to take my mind off of things." Taehyun maintains. "I need to figure out a solution."
"So then you called me for no reason? 'Cause we don't know shit right now, Kang." You fire back, not fond of his attitude. Though you were unsatisfied with your suggestion as well, what other choice did you have? He needed to calm down before he blew up at Beomgyu, or worse, Sakura.
He knew why he had called you, not for you to just pop up with a solution. He called you cause you're the only one who can ever manage to get him to stop overthinking so damn much.
"Pick whatever you want." He gives in, patting the seat next to him on his bed before handing you the remote to his TV.
You smile at his compliance and grab the object before flipping the screen on. "It's okay to be worried, I'm scared shitless too. But let's relax for a minute."
He lays back on his bed as he pulls the covers over the two of you, "What? I'm cold."
You just giggle as you press play on a movie, the previous qualms forgotten in favor of the crappy Netflix Original you had picked.
...
You stir awake as you begin to hear hushed voices. Oh, had you fallen asleep? Obviously, by the lack of light shining through Taehyun's window, you two had indeed knocked out. He still lays beside you comfortably, head resting on his arm as he remains napping. The end credits of the subpar movie you had put on rolled, indicating you two slept for around two hours.
You lean up and rub your eyes, throwing the blanket off of you. You really had to pee, which must've been the reason for your sudden awakening. Or maybe it was the small whispers that crept in from the living room, you didn't know. Were his roommates back? Was Beomgyu here?
Quietly, you patter over and open the door slightly. Making a beeline for the restroom, you sigh as you finally get to empty your bladder. After washing your hands, you attempt to silently make your way back to Taehyun's room, hoping to avoid confrontation with whoever was home. Sure it's not like anything happened, but it'd be awkward to explain why you were cuddled up with Taehyun in said boy's room.
Unfortunately, you don't get so lucky this time.
You hear the question of your name as you turn around. Beomgyu standing in the hall to see you, Sakura right behind him. Her face lights up as she see's you. "Hey! What're you doing here?"
Though you fear her tone is a bit too loud, and are scared of the two possibly waking Taehyun. He wouldn't exactly be thrilled to see the two of them anyways, so you figure you're doing them a favor as well.
"Taehyun's asleep." You whisper quietly, gesturing for them to lower their voices.
"Asleep?" Beomgyu blinks. "You were with him in his room?"
You just nod your head slightly. "We fell asleep while watching a movie."
"Yeah right." The male snorts as Sakura elbows him. She gives him wide eyes before telling him to knock it off.
"Well I'm glad you're here. I need to talk to you both." She says, a huge smile on her face.
"Me?" You feign, pretending like you didn't have a clue. You can practically feel your face draining of color. So it was definitely hers.
"I was going to text you earlier, but I wanted to wait till we saw each other in person! But this is perfect!" She squeals, "I'll go wake Taehyun."
"I'll do it." You stop her, before catching yourself. "He's kind of grumpy today."
"Oh okay!" She says, not giving it another passing thought as you walk into Taehyun's room.
To your surprise, his eyes flutter open as you open the door. "Where did you go?" He grumbles, still somewhat asleep.
"Bathroom." You brush off. "But you need to get up."
"No."
"Sakura and Beomgyu are here."
And he shoots up, all signs of tiredness gone from his face. "What do they want?"
"I think she's going to announce her pregnancy." You say, eyes darting around. "She said she wanted to talk to us."
"Tell them I'm not in the mood."
"Taehyun." You reason. "She's your sister, and he's your best friend. Can't you at least pretend to be happy?"
He sits up as he slides off the bed, mumbling an annoyed "Fine." As he slips his shoes on. Clearly unready to look the two in the face.
He opens the door as Taehyun dons a bored expression on his face. Beomgyu doesn't miss a beat. "What took so long? Was she helping you pull up your pants?"
Taehyun doesn't respond, instead choosing to look over at his sister. "What's up?"
She smiles for the millionth time as she looks at Beomgyu. He grabs her hands in his, giving her reassurance. "I'm pregnant."
Taehyun just looks back at you. "I know."
Well that was anticlimactic.
"What?!" Sakura exclaims, taken aback.
"Genius here left your test out in the open." Taehyun says, pointing his head towards Beomgyu.
Sakura death glares her boyfriend before looking back at Taehyun. "You don't have anything to say?"
"What do you want to hear Sakura?" Taehyun begins, his attitude about to slip through.
"Congratulations!" You squeal, interrupting the tense atmosphere. "I'm so excited! How are you feeling?" Someone had to be the bright one around here. You know the pair was expecting some kind of celebration.
"I'm going to be a mom!" Sakura gushes, holding onto Beomgyu's shoulder. The fake smile remained plastered on your face, did she know what was coming? Had this been on purpose?
"Wow , a mom with an over demanding desk job, and a dad who acts like a child himself. Your baby will be a real kicker!" Taehyun remarks sarcastically. The grin is wiped off your face as you pull back on his arm.
Shaking your head, you notice the two in front of you stayed silent.
"Aren't you happy for us?" Beomgyu questions, caught off guard.
"Happy?" Taehyun says, looking between them. "Happy that you ruined your lives?"
The silence speaks for itself. Your heart growing heavy as you watch the upset look on the couples face.
"Okay," You interject, eyes looking from their dejected ones. "Taehyun and I are going to get some food before he can say anything else he'll end up regretting."
Sakura just nods as you grab onto Taehyun, angrily dragging him out the door as he mutters something about the situation. How could he be such a rainy cloud on their obviously sunny moment?
You could talk out other things later, but right now you were just focused on helping him get his coat on. Giving him harsh looks as you can't believe he really said that to them.
"That was insensitive." You speak as you close the door behind you two. Walking out of the apartment complex with a frown.
"What's insensitive is them thinking they can provide a suitable lifestyle for the baby." He says with his head hung low.
"That's not our business to worry about." You respond, shrugging. "We just have to be there for them anyway we can."
He just scoffs. "Easy for you to say. You don't have to be 'Uncle Taehyun' all of a sudden."
"You'll be a decent uncle." You tease.
"Does this mean Beomgyu will be my brother-in-law soon?" Taehyun's jaw drops.
"Woah, who said they were getting married?"
"No one." He shrugs. "But the two are so in love that it'll probably happen."
"See, they love each other." You point out, opening the door to the restaurant the two of you frequented. "They'll make it work."
"Love doesn't pay the bills." He replies as you two enter.
"No." You agree. "But it helps."
"You're so naive."
"Maybe." You say, dropping the topic as you two sit down to eat. "Oh, but before I forget.."
"Yes?"
"You have to apologize."
"For what?!" Taehyun speaks. "For telling the truth?"
"It wasn't your place!" You say back, careful to mind the volume of your voice. "You really hurt their feelings."
And he rolls his eyes before muttering a small fine as he looks over his menu. He was convinced you were the only person in the world who could get him to see the fault in himself sometimes. It was a weird trait, but he couldn't say it was bad. You kept him grounded a lot and he appreciated it. He hoped he had made as much of a difference in your life as you did his.
-
Standing in the grocery aisle, you looked over the several different types of jams and jelly's on the shelf. Which one would Taehyun like anyways? I mean, you were only really buying it for him. He was the one who came over and complained (About three different times) about your lack of ingredients for peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
Goodness, he took a lot out of you, but it was worth it if it meant cheering him up. You knew something this small could make his mood a little better. And right now, anything would help.
You pull out your phone, contemplating calling him when you hear the sound of your name called out. You lower your phone and turn around quickly, met with a face you hadn't seen in months.
"Yeonjun." You squeak out in surprise. Your eyes drift to where he has about four liquor bottles in his hands, eyebrows raising.
"Oh, these?" He says, noticing your eyes. "Old habits die hard, I guess."
You offer a meek smile. "Big party coming up?"
"No." He shakes his head, before quirking it to the side. "..And yes?"
You just giggle lightly. "Nice."
"It's my birthday next week." Yeonjun states, averting his eyes. You remembered, of course you had. This was one of your closest friends just mere months ago. The memories were forever etched in your mind though, you'd never associate that day with anything else.
"Well, happy early birthday." You nod, not really sure what else to say.
"I want you to be there." He blurts out.
Your eyes widen at that. "Yeonjun-"
"Wait, before you shut me down." He starts, his brain gearing into overdrive. "There will be no drinking or weed, and it'll just be a couple of people."
"I don't want you to change things for me." You respond, waving him off in an attempt to deny the invitation. "Enjoy your birthday."
"You could bake me a cake." He begins again, not letting up. "Like old times. It'll be a calm thing, like a peaceful parting."
You feel uneasy about it. "I don't know."
"I promise I'm not trying to make this weird. I would just like us to celebrate this last birthday together." And Yeonjun sounds sincere, looking down at the basket he held in his hands, awaiting an answer.
"I have your number." You smile, and he caught onto that you'd think about it. Though you knew what your answer would be the moment he had asked. So after grabbing the most appealing brand of jelly, you went straight for the baking aisle.
By the time you got home, you were ready to crash onto a pillow. Loading groceries and putting them up had taken forever. Though you had made plans with everyone this afternoon, wanting to ease the tensions lately. Beomgyu and Taehyun weren't really on speaking terms, and Sakura was going to have a meltdown if they didn't get it together.
Taehyun was arriving soon, planning to help you cook. He had been mostly compliant with the idea, not wanting to cause his sister anymore stress, though you knew he was having a hard time. Still, you had appreciated his effort.
You groan as you hear the knock on your door, you figured you should just give the boy a copy of your key anyways. Him and Sakura could share with how often they came over.
You let him in and watch as he slips his shoes off. Hanging his jacket as he places a few bags on your counter, mostly last minute stuff like drinks and cups. He stretches his arms as he begins opening your cabinets, taking things out as you sit down in a chair by your counter.
"Get to work, Taehyun." You smirk.
"That's Chef Taehyun to you!" He rolls his eyes and you laugh.
You help cut a few vegetables and season a few things as you make mostly light conversation. It felt good to talk about mindless things like new tv episodes and office gossip. Definitely a change in the usual topic of conversation lately, and you were thankful for that.
Taehyun finished dinner right on time for the others to arrive, both of them giving him a shy smile. Tensions completely obvious, but he was keeping it together.
And he did just that. For a while, it seemed like it was just the four of you, normally eating a dinner together. Conversation was mostly cut short though, no one really speaking up besides complimenting the food. You all did this pretty often, so it was almost like nothing had changed.
Nothing had to anyways. Right?
"You know," Sakura begins. "I was really thrilled when you invited us all to dinner."
You can tell shes itching to say something, so you play along. "Mhm, why's that?"
"Well, I have something I want to ask the two of you."
You go cold, what could she possibly need to ask you and Taehyun? It felt like everyone just wanted to drop bombs on you lately. So you held your breath.
"I want you guys to be the baby's Godparents."
Taehyun visibly stiffens at that, even allowing his fork to fall onto his plate with a loud clank. His eyes never leaving the table.
"Me?!" You question. You understood Taehyun, that was her brother. But you? You had only known Sakura for about six or seven months now, but she trusts you with her child? This was huge.
"Yes you!" She says, offended that you seemed so surprised. "I trust no one else more in the world than you. And I know that if anything were to happen to Beomgyu and I, that you would take that baby in with no hesitation."
You sit back in your seat, this would a lot of responsibility. What was even included in being a baby's Godmother?
"Taehyun." She continues. "You are my brother, the most responsible person I know. And Beomgyu and I trust you so much as well. I have no doubt that you two could work together in the future for this baby."
"Well, if we die, that is." Beomgyu attempts to lighten the conversation.
"I'd like time to think over it." He responds, grabbing his fork and resuming eating, seeming indifferent.
You know Sakura wants to say more but she backs off for the sake of keeping everyone off edge.
"I accept." You say, causing Taehyun to whip his head around. Sure, this was a lot of process in a few days, but you love Sakura. You'd like to think she had helped change your life for the better, so you'd be there for her. If roles were reversed, you know she wouldn't hesitate to do the same for you. Even if it was for something kind of far fetched, more of a title than anything. If it made her happy, then you would do it.
"Well, I was thinking we could make it official on Friday."
"I can't Friday, it's my friends birthday." You mention as you pout.
"Awe," She responds. "Ok, we'll do Saturday then?"
"Sounds good." You say, looking beside you. "Maybe Taehyun will have decided by then."
"Who's birthday is it?" He asks, changing the subject. "Can we come?"
"Oh, it's not a big party." You say. "Just a few of his close friends."
Beomgyu nods in understanding. "Sounds nice."
"You seem nervous. Something you're not telling me?." Taehyun pipes up again, you bringing a spoon to your mouth. He's onto you.
"What're you talking about?"
"Can we please just eat?" Sakura interjects, you and Taehyun looking shocked to her outburst. Even Beomgyu had an unexpected expression.
You just nod and offer an awkward smile. Everything was happening way too fast, so you couldn't blame her for snapping.
You nudge Taehyun on his arm. "So, how's the food?"
"Fine." He responds through gritted teeth. You sigh, he always loved talking about you two's meals. Saying how he wish he did things different, or that he loved the spices you added. But even that couldn't get him to speak again.
You're about to say something else when he suddenly stands up. Everyone looking up at him as he abruptly grabs his jacket.
"Taehyun?" You call out.
"I'm going home." He says, not even sparing you another look.
And you'd had it up to your ears with his attitude, your blood practically boiling. "Okay, then go."
And he looks back at you with a twinge of surprise evident on his face. You weren't going to ask him to stay? Or ask why he was so upset?
No you weren't. He wouldn't either after the way he's acted.
"I'm sick of all of you acting like this is normal. Like I don't have a right to be upset that my best friend knocked up my sister! Two of the most important people are starting a life that has no room for me!" He bursts, emotions pouring out.
"It's incredibly selfish of you to try and make everyone else miserable with you!" Sakura fires back. "I'm a grown adult, and I love Beomgyu. You are trying to make my baby all about you! I won't have my child around an uncle that sees them as an obstruction!"
"Then don't." And he walks towards your door. Slamming it on his way out, causing you to shrink in your seat.
It's silent for a couple seconds as Beomgyu runs his hands over his face. Sakura sitting back in her seat, obviously hurt.
Well this went to shit fast.
"He's taking this really hard." You speak up, attempting to defend him, when you're not even sure why.
"I know but I didn't expect him to react like this." Beomgyu says.
"He was so supportive of us dating too.." Sakura adds.
"Having a baby and dating are two different things." You remark, the two chuckling lightly.
"You can go after him, you know? We won't be mad." Sakura says, and she can tell that you so badly want to. But you surpress the feeling as you shake your head.
"He doesn't deserve it."
"He doesn't deserve you defending him either."
And you know she's right.
..
You don't talk to Taehyun for the rest of the week. Nothing so much as a text or phone call from him either. You feel somewhat hurt. You thought you two had grown an actual friendship, but it seemed so easy for him to cut you off. Like you had meant nothing.
It was all too familiar.
So it was ironic that you were slipping on your shoes to head to Choi Yeonjun's little birthday party. You had iced the cake that morning, taking extra long too, wanting to make a good last impression. That's right, last. You figured you really should just close things out on a good note. Seeing as you were struggling elsewhere, you figured you could do good with the one thing you had control over.
You put the cake in a little stand and headed straight for the front door. By the time you settled into your car, you see an incoming call from.. Taehyun?
"Hello." You say blankly as you bring your phone up to your ear.
"Can we talk?"
"Not unless you're ready to apologize."
"I am, please, can I come over?" He pleads.
"I'm busy tonight, remember?" You respond quietly.
"Then after?"
"Taehyun.." You trail. "I'm going to see Yeonjun."
You couldn't see him, but you could see his expression now. This would be like a slap in the face to him. Though, you knew your true intentions.
"Why?"
"I don't owe you any kind of explanation." You speak as you start your engine. Your stern take surprising even you. "I don't know when I'll be home, talk to you soon." You hang up the phone before he can get another word in. This night was going to take a bit out of you, and you didn't want Taehyun's intrusion to sour your time even more.
You just shake your head to yourself as you pull out of your driveway. The drive to Yeonjun's house is a short, familiar route. You wonder if this will be the last time you ever drive here.
You park next to what you recognize as Chaewon's car, wondering if she's aware that you're coming. Was Wooyoung? You throw the thought out of your head, it didn't matter if they knew or not. This was Yeonjun's day, and you were only here to make your last amends.
You can feel your hands somewhat shaking as you carry the cake to his front door. You couldn't believe you were back here after months. Would this change things? Would you fall back into them without the support of the others? And with the tornado that was your other group of friends? No, no you wouldn't. You would be strong, you got here through your own realizations. You were just here to suffice a last wish to one of your oldest, yet dying, friendships.
You knock gently on the door, unable to really ring the bell considering the cake that took both of your hands to hold.
The door swings open to reveal Wooyoung, the smile fading from his face as he see's you. He comes to a realization as he thinks out loud. "So that's why he said no booze."
Looking down at the cake in your hand, he moves to take it from you. But you're quick to brush him off as you smile awkwardly. "I got it."
And as you follow him into the house, you had confirmed the suspicion you had before. They hadn't known you were coming, and now you feel weird as everyone else might just think you decided to drop by.
Wooyoung moves some things off the kitchen counter so you can set the cake down, his hand grazing yours as he helps you put it down. You realize in that moment, that you felt nothing. It was a reassuring feeling, closure that your feelings had faded away. You weren't sure what to do with that information, but it did help anyways.
"Yeonjun, look who's here!" Wooyoung yells out to the living room.
The aforementioned is quick to stumble into the kitchen, eyes widening at your form. "You came!" He says, moving to look at the cake, almost like he didn't think you would. "It looks so good."
"That's what she said." Another voice remarked from behind him as they entered the area. It belonged to a male you'd never seen before, and a girl followed behind him on his arm. Were these new friends?
Yeonjun's quick to introduce you as a friend, to the new additions to their group, Mingi and Yunjin. Yunjin seems surprisingly ecstatic as your arrival, "Chaewon has told me so much about you! I've been wanting to meet you!"
"Yeah, Wooyoung say's you're the one who dyed his hair." Mingi speaks up.
"That was a long time ago." You say, you had only bleached it months ago. His new color was all due to his own touch ups and such.
"You got me something?" Yeonjun asks, looking at the bag hanging from your wrist. You had somewhat been at a loss of what to get him, only being able to use something your friend liked as reference.
"Uh," You stammer. "Taehyun say's they're like trending right now, so I picked one up for you."
Yeonjun smiles before taking the jacket out of the bag, his face lighting up. "I love it!"
And you grin, "I'm glad!"
"Taehyun? Like Kang Taehyun?" Yunjin qualms, quirking her head to the side. "Is he your boyfriend?"
You're about to shake your head when you stop yourself. "We're friends, I think."
"You think?" Wooyoung repeats.
"I-" You pause. "I don't know."
You really didn't, sure you guys could probably chalk up to close friends. But was that true? You looked out for each other a lot, but would Taehyun ever call you his friend? Would he?
But feelings were confusing. 'Cause at the same time, you felt maybe he could be something more to you. Something past the line of friends.
"He used to go to school with Mingi and I, super cool guy." Yunjin explains, smiling at you.
"Really?" Yeonjun says, sounding somewhat skeptical. "When I met him he was a sqaure."
"Hey," You say sternly. "He's fun."
Yeonjun backs off, quickly trying on his jacket. "Just saying."
"How do you not know what he is to you?" Wooyoung teases.
"I guess I never thought to ask."
"Yeonjun! I swear if I have to- Oh." Chaewon stops herself as she walks into the room. Spotting you as she all but gasps. "Hey."
"Hi." You manage to get out quietly.
Chaewon crosses her arms, "So are we like.."
You shake your head slowly. "Yeonjun just asked me to be here, to say bye, I guess?"
"Bye? Are you moving?" Yunjin asks.
"Something like that." You smile reminiscently. It would be easy to word it that way. You were moving, away from this life.
"Did you bake the cake?" Chaewon looks over at you.
You nod softly.
She smiles.
...
The night went better than you had imagined. You guys did stupid things like playing board games and telling stories. You warming up to everyone rather quickly. Nothing was awkward either, no one mentioned anything about your fight or sudden distance. It was just a normal hangout, minus the drugs of course.
The boys were currently playing a round of some video game on Yeonjun's tv when the girls huddle in the kitchen. Chaewon drinking sprite and Yunjin taking hits from her vape as you spot the tattoo donning her arm.
"That's badass." You say, her tilting her inner arm towards you so you can see it better.
"Thanks, Mingi has a matching one."
"You have couple tattoos?" You ask.
"Yup. We were wasted when we got them though, don't recommend."
And you just laugh. "That's.. admirable."
"Her and Mingi have been dating for like 6 years." Chaewon explains, your eyes widening.
"That's so cute." You grin, and it genuinely was.
"So what about you? Anyone special?" Chaewon smirks.
You sigh. "I'm not sure."
"Is it Taehyun?" Yunjin questions.
"Why do you say that?"
"I can tell by the way you've been talking about him like all night." Yunjin states. "Like earlier when Wooyoung brought up that new restaurant and you said you and Taehyun had already tried it. Or when you talked about the time you two went bowling. Or how about-"
"I think she gets it." Chaewon interrupts, laughing at the expression on your face.
Had you really talked about him that much? "I guess we just spend a lot of time together." You shrug.
"More like all your time." Yunjin winks.
Realization might as well have slammed you in the face. Maybe it would be more gentle to get by a bus than this. Did you like Taehyun? Is that why this was all so confusing?
You open your mouth to respond when Mingi comes barreling into the room, "Who want's to watch scary Youtube videos since it's midnight."
"Midnight?!" You exclaim, and as you check your phone, it confirms it is indeed about ten past midnight. "I should get home."
"Awee," Chaewon pouts. "But we're having so much fun."
"I'm sorry. I have something I need to do." You apologize.
"When will we see you again?" Yunjin pouts as she leans into her boyfriends side.
Chaewon grows silent as do Wooyoung and Yeonjun when they approach. All awaiting your answer, those three being the only ones who know why you're hesitating. Yeonjuns eyes light up expectantly. "You're welcome anytime."
You nod. "I don't know, when I have time, maybe."
But the three know what that means. "Thank you for coming. I had a good time, and I hope you did too."
"I did." You ease, grabbing your purse. You bid them goodbye, and Yeonjun pulls you in for a hug. Wooyoung follows as well, with Chaeown practically crushing you with her embrace.
"Until next time." Yeonjun nods, you trying not to notice the tears forming on his face.
"Yeah." You mutter.
Now, in the safety of your car, in your apartments parking lot. You want to bang your head against the steering wheel. Were you a fool? A fool for abandoning your closest friends? Or a fool for reuniting with them after you promised yourself you were done? You won't cry, you won't cry, oh. You're crying, but only a little.
You push all thoughts to the back of your mind, ready for a hot shower and bed. Just wanting to be freed from your thoughts for a little while.
Though that's all thrown out the window when you spot Kang Taehyun waiting at your front door. You just stop in your tracks, scoffing. "What are you doing here?"
"I wanted to talk."
"So you waited here the whole time?"
"The whole time." He confirms, pacing back and forth.
You step to unlock your door, him waiting outside as you step in. You turn and gesture for him to follow you, giving him permission to enter. In all honesty, you were drained and did not have to deal with whatever it was that Taehyun was so upset about.
Especially now that you felt you didn't know where you stood with him? Yeah this was a wreck.
"So," You begin. "What did you come all this way for?"
"I've been thinking, a lot. About a lot of things, like my sister and my best friend. And about you." He stops. "We haven't talked in a while."
"It's been a few days." You tsk, annoyance taking over. "This couldn't wait until tomorrow?"
Taehyun ignores you as he continues. "I've been miserable these past couple of days, and not just because of everything else that's been happening."
"Go on." You sigh.
"I think I love you." He reveals, eyes blown as he looks up at you.
"Don't say that." You whisper, avoiding looking at him. He couldn't be serious, how could you not have seen it? Because he couldn't be. No, Taehyun was just confused. He was trying to cope, and he was confusing his platonic appreciation for you as romance. That was the only viable explanation.
"Don't say what? The truth?" He speaks up, looking almost offended. He had just bared his heart to you, and you won't even hear him out?
"You're upset." You breathe. "You're upset and you're deflecting."
"What does that have to do with-"
"You're just happy I'm here." You cut him off as you fumble with your hands, scrambling to rationalize this."Your life is changing, and I'm just a constant. If it had been anyone else, you would have confessed too."
"That's not true." Taehyun speaks out in denial. "If you want to reject me just do it, but don't say my feelings aren't real."
"Oh c'mon!" You throw your hands up. "You don't love me! Do you even remember what you said to me when we met?!"
"You're not that person." He responds, exasperated. "I was an asshole to you because I thought I knew you. Nothing can excuse that but-"
"So what?" You interrupt once again. "You know me for a few months and now you think you've got me all figured out?!"
"Why won't you just accept it?!" He fires back. "I love you."
You stay silent, throwing your head back as you listen. He said he loved you, and you hated how your heart skipped a beat.
"And don't say it's not real because it is. I'm in love with you, not the person you've pretended to be. I love the way you care for me, the way you know how to cheer me up, the way you force me out of my shell. I love simple things like your hair, your smile, your sense of humor, and everything else." He pauses as he stares at your silent figure. "I've never felt this way about anyone."
You won't even face him, opting to look towards the ground. This was all too much for one night.
He stands as he fights back tears. "Are you going to sit here and tell me you don't feel it too?"
You have to lie. You can't accept his confession. You can't be in love with Kang Taehyun. You won't allow yourself to be.
The last time you fell in love with a friend, you ruined everything.
"We're too different-" You calmly start.
"No we're not, you said it yourself." He speaks truthfully. "And so what if we are? We could work through differences because that's what people in love do."
People in love?
"What if this ruins everything?" You tear up. "What if we don't work?"
"Then we worry about that later." Taehyun responds.
You take a seat on your couch, head in your hands. "There's just so much going on right now."
He cuts in before you keep going. "I know, and not having you by side made me realize how much I need you."
"Why? You're the strong guy here, I'm just the weak one who keeps falling back into her old-"
"Hey," He stops you. "I understand why you went to see Yeonjun. He was your friend for a long time, it can be hard to say no. I don't care if you hang out with them, as long as you're staying true to who you are."
You grab his hand from where it sits beside you on the couch. Holding it between yours as you wipe your tears with your other hand. "We can do this right?"
His eyes flicker to yours as he nods softly.
So you kiss him, and it feels right. Like you were meant to be here, kissing Taehyun at one in the morning. The both of you with tears in your eyes, but no care in the world besides each other.
There were still problems, yes. But they weren't going to be solved right now, you couldn't do anything, so you'd leave it up to the universe to worry about that. It's incomplete, yet you know everything will be okay in the end.
Much like real life.
-
136 notes · View notes
taeghi · 2 years
Note
hiii! i see that you are an atiny!!! do you think you could write something about jealous!san? :D
if you aren't taking requests! that's completelty fine! i hope you have a good day anyways!
sorry, it took so long lol <3 thank u for the request
jealous!san x y/n
friends to lovers lol
smut - minors dni
wanting the perfect boyfriend was hard- but extremely hard when you held yourself to apparently 'high standards'. your friends always said that the perfect guy for you was right beside you, but you never paid any attention to him because you deemed yourself to be higher than some drunk guy you met five minutes at the bar.
there is nothing wrong with having high standards. but sometimes you even frustrated yourself by how picky you are when it comes to men. if someone did one thing that turned you off from them- that was it. there were no second chances, even if you had been talking to them for twenty seconds- you didn't care.
you realized in high school how selective you were when it came to men. losing your virginity was a battle that you had somehow won with a guy that went to the high school across town for your own.
you thought being picky in high school was fine since your town only had so many people. you told yourself and your friends that college in a bigger city would lessen your expectations. there would be tons of men that you could date!
right?
wrong.
it seemed that college had only made your standards of men even higher.
there were a few men that you had hooked up with since your freshmen year of college. but now that you were in your third year- your income of men had decreased rather quickly.
your friend group had started hanging out with kim hongjoong's friend group around spring break last year. it started with your friend hooking up with hongjoong at a couple of parties- eventually leading to his friend meeting her friends and suddenly all of you were one big friend group.
your friend and hongjoong had decided to remain friends- for the sake of the newly developped, tight knit friend group they had somehow accidently created. so, your fun nights with your friends continued you on with everyone usually going home with someone except for you.
out of hongjoongs seven friends, you had become the closest with choi san.
san was funny, sweet and you guys had a lot in common because he also held himself to a certain standards when it came to getting a girlfriend. but, in a way that was quite different than you.
he took the approach where he had sex with every woman he landed his eyes on and could bring back to his dorm room within twenty minutes of talking to her.
it started during his freshman year of college.
his friends from high school, mingi and wooyoung, had no idea when and how san started getting with so many woman in a short time span, but who were they to tell him to stop?
san wasn't a douchebag per se, but not every girl that he hooked up with understood that san just wanted sex. so, there was a group of woman on campus that seemed to glare everytime they saw him or any of his friends (including you).
besides san's long list of people he's slept with, he was caring and even a little cling when it came to his friends. if he wasn't cuddling with wooyoung, then he was cuddling with you.
you two had slept in the same bed together numerous amount of times; too drunk after a party to go back to your dorm, hongjoong and your friend booked off your apartment for sex, and there was that one time where san and you both got rained on and caught in a sudden storm so he made you come to his dorm since it was closest.
san was there for you a lot of times when you needed someone. he was there when you needed to cry, to rant, to just sit with someone because you couldn't bare being alone for a second longer that day. he was your study buddy and your drunk dance partner.
in a way, you were glad that your friend chose kimhongjoong out of anyone to hook up with- because then you wouldn't have met san.
you're sure that you always thought choi san was physically attractive. his dimples, plush lips, high cheekbones and fit body were hard to not notice sometimes. you weren't really surprised when you found out he was basically the campus' fuck boy.
but you weren't sure when you started having feelings towards your attractive friend.
there was one night where your friends had left the club earlier than you and san- leaving you two to dance and drink for three more hours. you think if the two of you weren't alone, san would'v eleft hours before with one of the many girls that was staring at him all night, but he didn't want to leave you alone.
plus, he was having fun with you.
when the club closed for the night, san and you pouted at each other drunkly before stumbling your ways through the city back to his apartment. you leaned on each other since you were both too intoxicated to stand straight at that point.
you were giggling and trying to shush each other as you entered his sharted apartment with yunho, trying not to wake him.
san tossed you one of his shirts and sweatpants as you both turned around and slipped out of your party clothes and into pyjamas for the night. you both promised to not turn around and look at the other one changing, still giggling as you teased each other.
san's bed was comfy and it smelt like him and alcohol since it was surrounding your bodies. san's room was smaller, but cozy and it fit san so much that you liked it.
you were both laying on your sides to face one another, the moon shining in on your faces. giant, drunk smiles were on your faces as you spoke.
"you're pretty." san admits suddenly, analyzing your face against his pillow.
"you're pretty." you confess back to him, making him roll his slightly red eyes from the alcohol. his pale cheeks were plushed with colour as well, and his lips were red from biting them and licking them all night as he danced.
san's hand swivels it's way between your bodies, until it's up and grazing your own lips with his thumb. his finger is so soft on your bottom lip but you can still feel the heat radiating off of it. your giant, drunk smiles start to fade slowly as you both take in his action.
his cozy bedroom grows silent as your minds begin to fill with thoughts about one another. san really thinks then that you're the most beautiful girl he's ever seen and he can't wait to fuck you.
but then he realizes who exactly you are: his best friend.
his best friend that has a hard time opening up to people. his best friend that usually hates phsical affection unless it's from him. his best friend that holds men to a high standard that she doesn't allow herself to fully fall in love. and he knows for certain that there is no way in hell that he suits your standards.
his thumb rips away from you at the final thought. he gives you a sheepish smile before he's rolling over onto his other side, whispering a final goodnight to you before he closes his eyes for the night.
his actions keep you awake for most the night as he snores softly beside you.
-
another time was when you had the worst first and last date in the middle of your senior year, a few weeks after the thumb-brushing-your-lip-in-his-bed occurence.
the guy you had agreed to go on the date with, who had begged you to go on one date with him in the first place, ended up getting a call from his ex girlfriend in the middle of the date and then got up and left you with a mumbled apology.
you paid the bill with tears in your eyes, the waitress trying to quietly comfort you as you only softly smiled at her and left. you sat on a bench around the corner from the restaurant, crying into your hands.
you thought at the moment that you wouldn't like any other guy you would meet. all of them turned out to be pointless anyways and you were tired of getting your heart hurt.
"what the hell are you doing crying out on a bench at 8pm on a friday?" a famailiar voice said behind you.
you turned and saw san standing behind you with a concern yet amused expression on his face. you could tell instantly by his outfit that he was on his way to a party or a club for the night.
"had the worst date possible." you mutter out at your friend.
san's face drops at your statement, cursing the guy for making you cry in a way he thought a friend would do.
san sits down next to you on the bench then, sitting back and drapping his arm lazily around you, squeezing your shoulder gently. "aren't you the one that always says men are douchebags?"
you scoff, "yeah, i am."
"then why are you crying about a douchebag?" san shakes his head at you, "he's literally such a douchebag that he was too blind to see how amazing you are, how caring and funny. he literally just missed the best chance in his life and he's gonna realize that sooner or later."
you sigh and nod at your best friend's word, "i know, but-."
"nope! no but's!" san sits up as he cuts you off, "let's forget about the douchebag and have fun tonight now. i'm meeting some of the group down the street at that new neon club."
though your outfit wasn't really club ready, you still nodded as san pressed a kiss to your temple, pulling you up after him and running down the streets to the club, your worst date ever being completely forgotten- but a night with san never.
-
you think maybe not too long after san made you forget your worst date, you started realizing that you had feelings for him.
every touch or gesture or compliment that would mean almost nothing to you before, now made your heart jolt every time san would do it : a hand landing on your waist as he squeezed past you to get a cup, giving you a shirt to wear when you didn't want to wear your dress anymore, telling you he thinks you're pretty with your new hair colour.
at first, you tried to rationalize with yourself. it's choi san. you're best friend. the campus fuckboy. the idiot that gets into dating rumours across campus with wooyoung.
you continued to try to priortize your friendship with san but it was proven to be hard quickly.
usually, you wouldn't bat an eye if you all realized he had disappeared for the night- either to his or his girl of the nights' apartment.
but tonight, the moment that yunho groaned and said he's tired but probably wouldn't be able to sleep for another hour or two since san has most likely left now with a girl, your heart clenched. the rest of your friends all laughed at yunho's dillemma while your eyes started to dart around the full house party you were all at, trying to spot a famillar head of black hair.
"you good, y/n?" your friend smiled at you, noticing the way you were zoning out after not being able to locate san.
"hm?" you looked at her, realzing that all of your friends were now looking at you at her question, "yeah, i'm fine, i think i'm gonna head home now, though."
"you are leaving early?" wooyoung exclaimed, not him or the rest of yoru friends believing their eyes.
"since when do you ever leave early?" mingi asked in shock, he put his hand over your forehead, "are you feeling okay? did you hit your head or anything?"
you giggled and pushed his hand off of you, "i'm fine guys, i just had a large test today and it really made me tired so, i'll see you tommorrow or something." your friend grouop groaned as you waved them goodbye, trying to hold in your emotions for a while longer so you could escape this awful, house party.
turns out, you should've stayed a minute or so longer, because the first thing yous ee as you step out onto the lawn is san shoving his tongue down a girls throat against a pole by the curb. his hands are roaming down her body roughly as her hands are tangled up into his hair, pulling at the strands.
you don't know how long you exactly stood there watching the pair, but they never pull away until a cab pulls up beside them. san pecks her lips once more before oopening the door for her, patting her ass as she crawls in- him following her inside quickly after.
you watch the cab drive away as tears pour down your cheeks. you hate that you're so easily broken at the sight of your best friend leaving with a girl. you're certain san doesn't know the way you've been feeling about him as you don't even know your feelings.
all you know is that you wish you were the random girl leaving with san instead.
-
your friends started to realize that you weren't yourself fairly quickly as you continued to leave early at every single party or club. everytime san would leave with his girl of the night, you'd leave a few minutes after, not being able to bare the thought of what san was up to as you stood alone at a party while your friends all enjoyed themselves.
san had no idea that you were acting strange since you were leaving after him, until he overheard yunho and mingi talking about you in their kitchen.
"if y/n says she's fine then she's fine, why can't you just believe her?" minghi groaned out at yunho who stood on the other side of the small island.
"but why should we believe her? when she's at the party she doesn't even engage with us anymore." yunho pouted.
"what are you guys talking about?" san asked from his spot on the couch, looking over at his two friends.
"oh, see we should ask her best friend, he'll know." mingi poked his tongue out at yunho, 'y/n's fine, right?"
san titled his head confused, "why wouldn't she be fine?"
"have you not noticed her recently? she's been leaving parties early, saying she's tired all the time, doesn't even answer our invitations out sometimes." yunho explained to san who only remained with a confused expression because no, he has not noticed that.
"i didn't know she was leaving early." san asked, a frown pulling onto his face at the topic of your recent actions.
so san decided to head over to your place the next day, wanting to see what was so wrong with you that everyone in your friend group seemed to be worried about.
when you opened your apartment door to see san standing there with a concerned look on his face and a bottle of wine you didn't know what to expect but still ushered him to come in and sit down on your couch.
it had been awhile since you and san had hungout with just the two of you. the last time you were alone together, you didn't have a huge, heart wrenching crush on him.
"so, how're your classes going?" san asked you, pouring the wine in a glass for you before one of himself.
"they're fine." you shrug, immediately grabbing the glass and drinking it.
san could tell that you were avoiding eye contact with him, barely even looking in his direction when he spoke to you. it handled your awkward self for an hour before he snapped and asked you what was wrong and why you were acting so weird.
"what?" you let out quickly, "i'm not being weird, i'm fine."
san raised an eyebrow at you before grabbing a hold of your arm and tugging you over to his side of the couch, only faces only inches apart now. "really? then why are you being so distant and awkward? why are you barely going out anymore?"
and you blame the wine for making you so honest, "because it's not fun when you're not there- when you're gone with someone else."
san sat back on your couch and looked at you with an expression you couldn't read, he was not expecting that as you answer. a small smirk spread across his face after a few moments of shock, "so you're jealous, hm?"
"what? no!" you hurried to get out, shaking your head no, "of course not!"
san rolled his eyes and put his hands up in defense, "okay okay!" he laughed out at your shocked expression, "but," he started, one of his hands landing on your thigh, "it would be kinda cute if you were."
you turned away from your friend, not being able to process his words or this whole situation. you couldn't tell if he was just teasing you or not like he usually does.
"c-cute?" you tried to sound relaxed but your stutter gave your nervousness away. your vision seemed to be locked onto the way his hand was lazily playing with the fabric of your sweatpants.
san shrugged in agreement, "yeah, i mean, i get jealous when you leave with other guys."
your eyes widened at his confession, "w-what? you do?"
san smirked at your genuine surprise, "yeah." the contrast between how calm san was compared to your unhinged state was something you could laugh at if you weren't just hearing your best friend confess something to you that you have only dreamed of a million times before.
"san!" you shoved his shoulder playfully, "stop fucking playing with me!" you laughed out, not believing him in the slightless.
"i'm not!" san shook his head with a smile of his own. "i get pissed, too."
you scoff at that, "yeah, and why's that?" you asked sarcastically, thinking that he must one hundred percent be joking right now.
"because they don't deserve you." san's tone of voice became serious, and you felt his fingers start to play with the hair at the back of your head. you turn to face him, seeing the almost dazed expression on his face as he wrapped your hair strands around his fingers loosely. when his eyes met yours he continued, "and from what you've told me," he paused as his eyes drifted to your lips, biting his bottom one before meeting your eyes again, "they don't fuck you right, either."
"san." you almost whine out, pulling your head away from his hand, trying to make your head clear so you could process what he was saying.
"what?" he tilted his head in confusion, "y/n, have you really not thought about you know, you and me before?" he took your silence as a 'yes' and let out a dry laugh. you felt him move closer beside you on the couch. "why're you being so shy now? it's okay if you've thought about us before, because I've thought about it, too."
you turn your head at his yet another, confession. you wondered how many more will be spoken tonight at this rate.
your faces were close together when you look at him, the air in your living room becoming dense as you look at one another with a glint of something in each other's eyes.
"can i kiss you, y/n?"
when you nod gently in agreement, his lips press against yours softly. he doesn't try to slip his tongue into your mouth. your lips meet with a passion that lasts as long as the very short kiss did. he pulls away and stays an inch away from you, both of yours meet flickering between your lips and your eyes.
"this isn't gonna change much between us, right san?" you whisper out to him, worried that if you spoke any louder your little world with san would collapse.
san smiles softly at your question, his hand coming up to brush your hair behind your ear, "of course not, y/n. you're my best friend."
"you're mine, too."
san presses a kiss to your forehead, "we'll go as far as you want to, okay?"
"okay, san."
his lips press against yours again, this time with more fervor. his body starts pressing down onto yours so your chests have meshed together and he's lying on top of you. your head is resting on the couch pillow as you try to keep up with san's sudden fast pace.
san starts kissing down your neck, biting softly as he makes his way down it. his hands are massaging your hips, making your body relax further into his touch. your hand comes up to play with san's hair, making him pull away from your neck and press a final kiss to your lips before speaking, "can i feel how wet you are, baby?" the nickname makes you realize just how soaked your panties are at the thought of san and you finally playing out a fantasy of yours.
you meekly nod your head yes, making san tsk at you, his thumb brushes over your lips, "use your words, y/n."
"yes, san." he smirks as you do as your told so easily before pushing his thumb into your mouth, making you wrap your lips around it. he groans softly when your tongue laps across the pad of it, fulfilly wetting it.
you almost whine when he takes it out of your mouth, enjoying the feeling of doing something so intimate with him, but immediately shut up when he slips his hand under your sweatpants and starts massaging your clit with the same thumb, mixing your juices and saliva together.
his thumb runs down from your clit to collect more of your juices onto it. you hear him curse under his breath before asking you, "who got you so wet, y/n?"
"y-you did." you nod to him, watching a smirk grow on his face again.
"how'd i make you get so wet so fast, hm? have you been wanting this for that long, y/n?"
you nod again quickly at his questions, "yes, san, wanted you so bad for so long."
"and you think about how good i could get you to cum?" his thumb is still massaging hard circles into your clit, making your hips start to jerk upwards against his hand, wanting to feel more of him. the words he's speaking to you are dirtier than you've ever imagined him saying out loud. the san on top of you is so different than your best friend that you've known for years.
"yes, san- fuck." you bite your lip, his thumb speeding up circles at your confirmation.
"right, cause you know that none of the other guys you fucked would ever be able to."
you internally groan with embarrassment when you remembered that you've told him that with all the guys you've fucked, not one of them had ever made you cum. your hands cover your face with the realization, making san laugh but not stop rubbing your clit, only slowing down.
"don't be shy, baby, i'll make you feel good- make you forget about all the other guys." he presses a kiss to your neck, pulling your hands away from your face as you grab his own, pulling him to your lips. your lips mesh together again, his thumb speeding up as he draws you closer to your orgasm.
"fuck, san don't stop," you mumble against his lips, looking deep into his eyes as he sped up more.
"yeah? gonna cum already with just my finger?"
"mhm, s-san." your breath starts to get ragged as you hit your climax, feeling yourself clench around nothing as san didn't stop circling your clit.
"fuck, y/n." you heard him groan, opening your eyes to look at him. "so pretty when you cum." if you weren't feeling so dazed from the first orgasm a guy has ever given you then you would've shoved him and told him to shut up, but you couldn't so you let yourself bask in it.
san kissed you again, soft like the first time he did, his hands roaming up your sides gently. "you're okay to do more?"
"please?" you begged him, not wanting it to end yet, dreaming of so much more of him to just let it all stop now.
"let's go to your room." san suggested, you started to stand up but squealed instead when san picked you up, having your lace your legs around his back as you held onto his neck.
"san! i can walk!" you laughed out, pulling away from his neck to look at him.
"i know you can, but isn't it faster if i just carry you?" you groaned at his response and kissed his cheek, swearing to yourself that you could see a slight blush spread against his cheekbones at the action.
san puts you down on your bed on your back. you lean upon your elbows to watch him crawl over to you, you then notice how hard he is in his jean, the bulge making your eyes widen at how big he is.
you've heard around campus that san indeed knows what he's doing in bed and that his dick was bigger than average, but you never really believed it about your best friend since his little fan club of girls seemed to say just about anything nice about him for the hopes of him to maybe take a liking of them.
san noticed where your gaze was stopped over top of you, "we can stop if you want- if it's gotten too mu-."
"no!" you almost yelled, "just- just want you so bad please, san."
"okay, angel, okay." san smiled down at you, pressing his lips once to yours before his hands are trailing up your sides again, taking your shirt with them.
you help him take off the fabric, leaving you in your bra when he takes off your sweatpants as well. you reach around and unclip your bra, san helping you when the straps fall loose on your shoulders.
when you're fully bare in front of the fully clothed san you can't help but feel almost intimidated and insecure in front of the man- in front of your best friend. the way he's looking over your body so slowly and carefully- as if he's taking in every single detail- doesn't help in any way.
you whine out his name when you can't possibly take a second longer of his staring.
"'m sorry 'm sorry, you're so pretty i can't help it- much prettier than i've ever imagined." the mention again of him thinking about seeing you in a way like this makes your heart flutter- even if his thoughts aren't in any way pure.
"wanna see you, too," you tell him, mentally aching to see him undressed.
san takes off his shirt first, letting you see his abs that you've somehow seen one million times in the few years you've been friends with him.
but you've never seen him shirtless where the veins on his arms are prominent as he reaches down to pull off his jeans and boxers. like the rest of his skin, his abdomen and legs are milky white. there's a vein leading down from his lower abdomen to the base of his cock that's standing out to you and makes you wanna trace it with your tongue.
"how come you can stare at me, but i can't stare at you?" san's teasing tone breaks you from another fantasy of him as you look up at him quirking his eyebrow at you.
"i wasn't." you shook your head with a gulp.
"oh, no? your eyes just so happened to land and stay on my dick?"
"san, please," you begged him again, wondering to yourself just how many more times you'd be whining for him tonight.
san doesn't answer this time, only rolls his eyes before he's crawling over top of you, his warmth immediately covering you as he's pressing kisses into your jaw and neck. you can feel his hard dick pressing into your wet core.
"wanna be inside you so bad." san lowly grunts into your ear, his hips gravitating towards yours.
"fill me up, san, please." if you weren't so strung up on the way san was grinding into you naked then you're sure you would've cringed at the way you were begging for him yet, again.
san reaches over to your nightstand where he knows you keep some spare condoms. you hear the package wrinkle as he grabs one, only to abruptly stop soon after.
you look over at him to see what was taking so long- when you saw san holding up your pink vibrator with a smug look on his face.
"jesus christ." you groan out in embarrassment again, "are you trying to kill me?"
san laughs at you again, "no, but at least now i know what you use when you think of me."
"san!" you reach over and shove his shoulder.
"i'm sorry! i'm sorry!" san laughs, pushing your own shoulder so that you were lying back onto your bed. he didn't give you a chance to reply before he was crushing his lips onto yours, his tongue darting across your bottom lip.
when you parted your lips for him to enter, he pulled away, making you pout. san finally started to put on the condom, sliding it down his hard cock. the tip was swollen and leaking pre cum but you found it so pretty at the same time.
"you're sure you're okay with this?" san asked, slotting himself in between your legs, his dick in his hand as he pressed it against your wet slit.
"i'm sure, san." your hand played with the hairs on the back of his neck, "are you sure."
"one thousand percent sure."
you smile up at him at his response, but it quickly leaves your face when he starts to push into you. his girth spread you open in a way that made you wince as you took him in. when he had finally bottomed out inside of you, you swore you could feel him poking your stomach.
san put his head in your neck, and you could hear his heavy breaths in your ear. his hands rubbed your sides as if it calmed him down somehow. "fuck, you're so tight, baby. squeezin' me so well."
"i know- you feel so good already, san."
san pressed a final kiss to your neck before he held his body up on his elbows. his thrusts started out shallow as he tried to find a pace to fuck you at, wanting to find your g spot quickly.
your hands trailed from his neck to his forearms as he started to pick up the pace. you held your legs tightly around his hips so he could enter you deeper and deeper every time.
when he hit the sensitive spot inside of you, your hand came and covered your mouth- wanting to scream at how hard he hit it.
san immediately grabbed your hand- pinning it up and over your head, "no baby, wanna hear you moan my name, want everyone to know who's fucking you so good, yeah?"
your head was filled up with the thought of san- your mind becoming hazy and only being able to think of curses and his name. san continued to pound into you, your legs becoming limp as the pleasure was starting to take over.
"no one's pounded this pussy like this before, right angel? no one's made you feel this good?"
"n-no san- just you! feel so good."
san swept his head down and started to suck on your nipple, biting and grazing it gently with his teeth. "fuck, such perfect tits." he mumbled against your skin, wanting to be able to feel all of you at once. "wanted to see you like this for so long, hated seeing you go home with all those other fuck heads- just wanted you to pick me for once- show you how no one else can fuck you like i can."
"d-didn't- i didn't know, san." you moaned out, it became frustratingly hard to speak at the pace he was fucking into you at. your bedroom was filled with the sounds of your wetness dripping down your thighs and slapping against his own every time your bodies met.
"i know, baby- but n-now, you're mine right? and this pussy's mine??" san grunted out, throwing his head back onto his shoulders as he felt a wave of pleasure go through him- helping him further to his own climax.
"god-! it's yours san! fuck don't stop- so close." you moaned out, feeling the pit of your orgasm in your abdomen.
"yeah- gonna cum all over my dick like the good girl you are?" san purred into your ear, biting onto your jaw, "like my good girl?"
you came undone at his words, "fuck san!" you cried out his name and arched your back off of your bed.
san continued to fuck into you until he felt this own orgasm wash over him, mumbling praises against your skin. you forced yourself to open your post-orgasm closed eyes to watch him cum. the way his hips didn't stutter as he came into the condom surrounded by your wet, warm walls.
his spent body collapsed onto yours, and both of your chests heaved together as you layed together. his familiar scent and sex sprawled across your room as you both took in each others presences- neither of you wanting to move- neither of you wanting to know what would happen after this- just wanting to stay there for as long as possible.
but the condom was getting uncomfortable as san's cock softened and the sweat that was both of your bodies was becoming unbearable to lay in.
san unwantedly pulled out of you and threw his condom into the garbage in the attached bathroom in your bedroom. he got a warm cloth and re-opened your legs- only this time to clean you up.
both of you were silent but content as you let him wipe you- and as you watched him slip on his boxers and shirt- before passing you a fresh pair of underwear and an oversized sweater that he knew you liked to sleep in.
you feel like you were about to fall asleep until you could feel that san hadn't gotten into bed with you yet. you opened your eyes to find him standing with his jeans in his hands- contemplating whether or not he should put them on and leave- or go sleep on the couch- or crawl in with you- or-
"are you gonna lay down, san?" your voice pulled him out of his overthinking thoughts, making a wave of relief wash over him completely.
"do you want me to?"
"well, yeah- plus it's not like we haven't slept together before." you shrugged, trying to remain calm- trying to think that this would just be like every other time you've shared a bed before.
san crawls in beside you- leaving room for another person to probably lay in between you guys. you could feel your sex smell-filled room turn into a room with such awkward tension that you could visibly see it if you walked in.
"do you regret what we just did?" san asked-breaking the silence that had settled upon you.
"no." you answer quickly and confidently, "do you?"
"of course not."
the silence returns with the both of you, him turning around to face you, moving over a tiny bit so he could lay on his side and look at you, "i meant when i said that i got pissed every time you would leave with some idiot- and that i wished it was me instead."
you turn to lay on your side to face him as well, his pale skin looked so pretty with the moonlight and street lams shining in through your window, "good- because i got pissed every time you left with some random girl." san smiled at your confession, his hand reaching out to hold your own.
"i'm glad i met you, y/n a-and i like you- more than a best friend- but i still wanna be best friends if that makes sense." san's cheeks returned with a pink hue on them that the moonlight made visible.
"me too," your fingers intertwined together, his thumb rubbing against the back of your hand, "maybe tomorrow we can go see a movie- like we always do- but maybe this time we can kiss during it?"
both of you laugh at your suggestion, "only if we can go make fun of wooyoung afterward- ya know, like we always do." san adds on to it.
"of course."
san and you smile at each other in your bed- with no awkward tension- not even any sexual- just peaceful but excited at the same time- with the thoughts of your open feelings for one another floating around your sex scent-filled room.
maybe jealousy can be a good thing when it comes to liking your best friend.
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