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undermine-the-instinct · 11 months

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Title: It Scratches At The Inside.

CW: Small talk about undermining an authoritative government. One super tiny mention of stimming. WC: 3.9K

This occurs before One Step back Two To Steps to The Right and some time after Second Male Lead, Enter! Bard!reader Masterlist

The guard had a stoic face but was obviously trying not to smile while you were there. You caught him failing a few times though, and you catch the mirth in his eyes when he opens up your jail cell and nods his head out.

"Your bail has been paid for. You're good to go bard."

"Alas my new friends! Parting is such sweet sorrow, but I must take my merry elsewhere." The rest of the people in your little cell groan, but also cheer you off, and you grin as you step out, give them a little bow.

You're allowed to collect your bag and your coat, and your lyre, and smile at the people there. No hard feelings, after all, you saw them smiling too when you were singing. You're no Barbatos but your voice is lovely.

"You're here much too often, you hear me?" The guard says, shuffling through his ring of keys.

"There's too many rules here to break sir. I'm honestly still trying to remember half of them." You chuckle as he gives you an eye.

"Well, that's the Monstadt in ya. Rulebreaker ya are. But I don't wanna see you back here for another three weeks at least, you hear me?" The door opens and you fly through before it's even halfway open. Kaveh is waiting for you.

"I'd be lucky to make it to two sir, but I'll try!" You think you hear him laugh before you turn the corner to the front desk, and Kaveh is not, in fact, actually waiting for you.

It's another man, dove gray hair with some teal undertones, tri-colored eyes and a bored, expectant look on his face when he turns to you. He looks haughty. And rich.

"Ah, there you are. Kaveh's little muse." With that, you know exactly who he is.

"Oh, you're his roommate, I presume?" You sweep into an elegant bow, and bow your head.

"And the one who bailed me out. Thank you very much. Though I assume you're here for a reason. Kaveh usually comes for me in these situations."

"Yes, nuisance that you are, but he was busy. Instead of having him panic over completing his work or getting to you, I decided to get you myself. Come now," he turns away, and starts walking out the building.

"There's better places we could be talking." Well, you're curious, and you currently have nowhere important to be. So, you follow him.

He walks briskly, and his super long legs pull him up ahead while you have to jog to keep up.

He just keeps walking, on and on. He doesn't make any conversation, and you're wondering whether this is really worth it, (why do you keep letting yourself be pulled off to suspicious places by handsome men) when he stops abruptly.

An alleyway, of course. Darkened and dampened with silence. You guess this will do.

Your hands fall to your knees, and you catch your breath. You're creaky from sitting in a cell for a couple days.

"Phew. Okay, what do you want from me?"

"Who says I want anything from you?"

"Please don't act like I'm dumb," you sigh, drawing yourself fully erect.

"There's a reason you bailed me out and brought me here, and you don't look the type to just do favors for people." A snap of your fingers.

"So, I'd prefer it if you'd just spit it out."

"Hm. You're right. I do want something from you. But I'm curious."

"About?"

"You." You roll your eyes the second that leaves his mouth.

"Why, is it because of all the drama with the Sages and the General? It's really not that interesting."

"Half of Sumeru can contest to that."

"It's really not anything special. Just annoying really."

"As the Grand Scribe I don't have to attend every meeting," He derails the conversation, your cheek would sting from the whiplash.

"And my input is not received very well. I am meant to record, analyze and store information for the convenience of others."

"Okay…. Sounds tedious."

"It is. But it has its uses too." He leans closer.

"Because I'm allowed to sort the information, I'm also able to conduct my own personal research. But there are some things I can't find in the Akademia.

"That's where you will come in."

"Me? How?" And why? Does he automatically assume that you're just going to do his bidding? The arrogance.

"You're banned from multiple establishments and restaurants. Bars and taverns and a few official buildings. So when you work it's usually odd jobs like delivering goods or watching cargo, helping the sailors at Port Ormos. And it's usually later at night when the general public has gone to bed."

"...Have you been stalking me or something?" Now it's his turn to roll his eyes.

"Kaveh will talk the ear off of anything if he has something he's passionate about. He seems particularly interested in you and your…uniqueness."

"I am pretty amazing," you acquiesce, nodding along. "And Kaveh has lots of ideas he likes to bounce off of me. He wants to incorporate Monstadt architecture into some of his next projects soon."

"We'll see how well recieved that is." Before you could call him out on his mutterings a sharp sigh leaves his nose.

"You're deliberately getting us off track."

"Well. It seems like you're building up to a proposal and I'm not here for it. Just tell me what you want instead of the creepy ways you've been keeping note of me."

"Everyone knows what you've been up to. You're practically a celebrity."

"Whoop-de-do. What do you want."

"Whenever you make a fuss Sumeru tunes in, starved for entertainment as they are. The sages are incensed and General Mahamatra is distracted. I need you to keep doing that, but doing it consciously now."

"...Okay? That's it?" Just keep being your troublesome self?

"With the late jobs you pull you're also privy to gossip. Which could lead to good intel if you follow the right gossip. I'm too noticeable. Much more than you are. My proposal is that you continue as you are. Distract the Akademiya, distract Sumeru. Collect intel and deliver it to me when I ask."

You huff and plop yourself down on a crate, crossing a leg over your knee.

"If I do that though, it would put me under more suspicion. My crimes have been elevated from a Violation to a Class B Misdemeanor. I don't have the luxury to do any of that even if I truly wanted to." You shrug.

"I get that you just bailed me out so I could maybe do a job for you, but I'm not risking falling under the Sages hands for…." Yeah, wait, he didn't offer anything. "Yeah, for what?"

"I'll bail you out if you get caught, but only if it's by the local precinct. Any higher jurisdiction I'll also become a suspect. Any funds you need I'd also be willing to provide."

"...You just have money to spend, don't you?"

"Consider it charity." He looks you up and down and that bastard. Yeah, your clothes look wrinkled and a little threadbare, but that's a part of your charm. The ruffian bard, so to speak.

Even if pebbles keep getting inside the hole in your boot. You hadn't been able to fix it yet.

"Okay, you pay me and bail me out for gathering intel wherever you need me to, and distracting Sumeru too, that's the deal? So everything I've already been doing." You shrug.

"I assume you have no demands?"

"Hm. I want to discuss the intel I gather at your place."

"Absolutely not." He shoots you down immediately, but you're not discouraged.

"Why not?! Kaveh always tells me about your horrible art decor and I wanna see how bad it really is." You kick your feet, but he still shakes his head.

"It's like you're trying to garner attention."

"I've been on the downlow lately, no ones going around looking for me. The General should also still be on an excursion for the better half of this week, so I'm led to believe." You snort.

"But I don't. These things take weeks but he's been running himself ragged lately. He'll probably be back in a day or two."

"We'll see if that holds weight. I don't suppose you know anything about the General's recent work ethic though, do you?"

"Constantly annoyed by my continued tomfoolery, I suppose. Anyways!" You snap up to your tip toes and grin.

"How about a down payment? I got plenty of info already, so why not?"

"I'll pay you after I get the intel."

"You seem like the type of guy to scam a person and do it smooth too. Payment first."

"I'm not giving you mora so you can run off like a little imp."

"Don't call me an imp again. I guess it's a good thing then that I don't want your money!" You put your hands in your pockets and rock back in your heels with your fake cheer. He raises an eyebrow.

"You obviously need it."

"Well duh, of course I do. But I prefer to work for my own." If there's one thing your parents taught you, it's that money honestly isn't worth a thing unless you earn it honestly.

And none of this seems honest or even good, actually. You make such bad judgements calls. At least you have a conscience.

"I'm sure you have a plethora of hidden funds you're just waiting to drain that won't show on your bank records, but I'm not taking it. I can manage." He looks disbelieving, and you're sure he thinks you're joking, or that you'll change your mind soon. Tempting as that offer was, you're not taking it, its way too sketchy. He just looks like hes yo to something, which, technically he is. But your parents taught you better!

"So what do you want then?"

"Hm…" you put a hand to your chin like you don't already know.

"A place to crash once or twice a week. That's all. Paying rent to an inn is getting expensive, and the beds arent even good." For emphasis you stretch your arms above your head, cracking a few joints.

"...Let me guess. Specifically at–"

"Specifically at your place, yeah." Yeah, you really wanna see this place. Youre going to. Kaveh has been so adamant about you never meeting his roommate or going to their shared space, and you're already working on breaking his second wish.

"Tell me, does the General or the sages believe I'd be hiding at the house of one of their officials? No. Even if they end up suspecting you they won't suspect our correlation."

"There's actually a chance they might," he counters. "With the fact that you're acquainted with my roommate."

"And not many people know you two are roommates. We just need to make sure that Kaveh doesn't figure out our relationship."

If he figured out this meeting happened he would yell and holler up to Celestia. Everyone under the sun would know, so you can't let him know. Absolutely not.

"You two have a sorta strange relationship so I'm sure that you didn't tell him that you were gonna bail me out. I'll tell him it was an anonymous person who bailed me out, perhaps a secret admirer." You flutter your lashes, but he seems unresponsive. What a statue.

"And when could we arrange this?"

"How about when I'm giving you my intel? It would be pretty late at night you know so people won't see me sneaking in through the back door or something. And if they do they'll just think I'm your lover or sonething."

He seems to think for a moment, and, really, wow, you've never seen eyes like his before. You've seen people with two different colored eyes, but no one with three colors per eye. It's really pretty actually.

Finally he nods, begrudgingly.

"Fine. It's a deal. Doesn't cost much on my end anyways."

"Well this is invaluable to me, so thank you!" the fake cheer in your voice doesn't go unnoticed, and he reaches a handout for a handshake. You take it (Holy Celestia his hand is huge what the fuck? His fingers way go past your wrist) and shake it firmly. You were a knight, you're sure you have a good handshake, but you suspect that's not the reason why he looks at his hand when you pull away. Bitch.

"Is there anything you'd like to know right now?" You ask, professional mode.

"Have you heard anything about the knowledge capsules?"

"The illegal production of them or the ones being stolen and sold from the Akademiya?" You're pretty sure you see his eyes light up something, not sinister, but calculating. You smile, bold, and gesture towards the alleyway.

"Lead the way Grand Scribe. I'll talk along the way."

________

"It's funny how you impose a no overnight guest rule but lift it for me."

"Kaveh's guests are usually just as drunk and rowdy as he is. So that rule only applies to him."

"And I'm never not drunk or rowdy?"

"You are, just not as often. And you have more tact. I make the rules here anyways, so I decide when and when not to impose them."

"Some people would call you a hypocrite."

"I don't care." You chuckle, and go back to toweling your hair.

Ready access to a shower is something you'll never take for granted again. Communal showers and baths got the job done, but leisurely soaking under the water was such a wondrous feeling you had nearly forgotten. One thing that you missed from inazuma- their baths and saunas, pure heaven.

Amazing smelling soaps and shampoos and lotions was another, things too tedious to carry around while traveling. Now your hair has gotten less frazzled and your skin has never been better in the handful of weeks Al Haitham has 'employed' you.

You had raised an eyebrow at Al Haitham, when you noticed all the new bottles after the first few times you crashed at his place, late at night, right after delivering intel.

"...Why don't you let me use the guest room and bathroom?"

"I'm not having you leave any evidence behind. That's why you've been using mine."

"I get that…but um. What is all of this?" You gesture at the bottles. They're all scents he would never use; vanilla, lavender, cinnamon, jasmine and saffron musk and the like. Soaps that smell like fruits and creamy lotions and sweet body scrubs.

He stood quiet for a few minutes, but answered you.

"....I unfortunately have a conscience, so if you won't accept money I have to imburse you some other way." He didn't even look up from the papers he was looking over, this convo a distraction.

"They seemed like things you would enjoy. So the toiletries are for you. Use them." And he waved a hand at you, dismissive.

You didn't know how to respond, so you just grinned and took an extra long bath.

Now, you delight in how soft and clean you are, and tottle over to where Al haitham sits on the couch, book in hand. You plop down next to him.

"Whaddya reading?"

"Something light."

"Yeah, whaddya reading?"

"The Cultural and Generational study of Linguistics as a philosophy as Opposed to a Social Mechanic. Just some light reading."

"Oh yeah, you Haravat peeps are big into languages and stuff. Do you know how to speak any other languages?"

"The Sage for Haravat has to be fluent in at least twenty languages to qualify."

"Archons be damned. What about you?"

"I can speak some." You tap his arm to try and get him a bit more into the conversation.

"Okay, then indulge me! Say something in another language."

"Eres molesto." You frown, and answer back in the same tongue.

"Cabron"

"Perra."

"Burra."

"Tonta."

"Pendejo."

"En realidad soy bastante inteligente."

"Sure you are." You sigh.

"I'm not the one who let my studies fall to the wayside to join a group of Knights only to drop out whilst being in a position of power to travel the world as a bard." He says, and yeah, that stung a little. Fucker.

"School just wasn't for me. I learn better with hands-on experience, going at my own pace."

"That's what all the dropouts say."

"I kept up my education in other ways, alright?! I've traveled and seen more than you ever have."

"That's true. You have seen and experienced things I have yet to." He says. He doesn't add anything, and the room falls back into silence.

You can hear the crickets outside. Soon, you'll be able to hear the odd owl or two, hooting away at the night. A half muffled conversation you hear, whispers from the open window.

"But, I'm still smarter than you." Silence and peace, broken. You grab one of the couch pillows and try to smack him. He stops it with a hand though.

"Oh shut up! You act like that makes you so much better than me."

"Who's the one with the most mora between us?"

"Mora isn't worth a damn thing except the value people put on it."

"Which is quite a lot, so my question still stands." You huff and snatch back the pillow, clutching it to your chest.

"Don't you get tired of the nomad life?" He asks you suddenly, seriously.

"Wouldn't you like to actually settle down somewhere, have some stability?"

"Well, with my record it probably won't be in Sumeru." You laugh, trying to make light of the way Al haitham is looking at you, the way he looked away from his book the first time that night.

"But I have no plans for anything right now. That might seem aimless but I find it freeing. I could go anywhere, I could do nearly anything. The only thing I have to follow is my own compass and everything else will align."

"That sounds like you expect the world to just adhere to you and follow your whims."

"Of course I don't expect that. But fortune favors the bold, and I'm tired of being meek. I fell into conformity and enjoyed the monotone nature of it all before, because I was scared of change." You stare off into space, lost in your thoughts of what was.

"I had to put myself out there to know this, but I'd rather be scared of what's coming rather than what could be, you know? It's easy to get dragged into a lifestyle and think that it's the best you can get, but I crave a thrill. I'm young, so I'm going to be a little crazy, a little reckless. It's the right of youth after all."

"Hm." That's his only reply. You don't look up from where you're holding the pillow, staring down at your feet, still kinda wrinkly from soaking for too long.

"That mindset was for when we were teenagers. That doesn't apply as you get older."

"Says who? Society? As long as I'm able to, and as long as I want to, I'm to travel and sing and dance. It makes me feel good. I feel alive. Even if I'm condemned for it I won't stop."

"Really? If you keep annoying the Sages they might just have to double down on you," he says, like discussing the weather.

"And the General Mahamtra Cyno. For some reason you're able to hold him at bay, but for how long? Will you continue, should they get more aggressive?"

"Of course. I have to."

"You have to?"

"Yeah. Even if I can't do it here, I'll find some place where I can." You nod, somber.

"I have to. It's like….it's just inside of me and I have to let it out."

"Like stimming?"

"Almost! But…more. Just more. It just demands to be heard," you poke at your collarbone, lost in contemplation.

"It just…scratches at the inside of me."

"....Well, that's the Monstadt in you." He sighs again, exasperated, and you're sure he is, but you're sure he's starting to get used to your company too.

You kinda just…spilled your guts a little, didn't you? How embarrassing. But when you look up, Al haitham has his eyes on his book again.

"How about you go to sleep already? You have a job tomorrow."

"Well, the couch I've been allowed to occupy has been taken over already so I'm afraid not."

"I caught you sleeping standing up once, I'm sure half a couch can suffice."

"No, get off."

"No. My couch. My room."

"That you let me sleep in. Turn off the light, too."

"No. I'm reading. I'm not going to do either."

"Well fine then!" And just like that you plop your head into his lap.

He moves his book out the way and blinks down at you, actually looking a little astonished.

"What the fuck do you think your doing?" You snort.

"Oh wow, you cursed. Oh uh, I'm going to sleep?"

"With your head in my lap?"

"Yeah, do you work out by any chance? Of course you do look at your biceps, but this," you tap his thigh. "Is not a very comfy pillow. You're not very soft."

"Then get off." You shut your eyes and immediately pretend to be sleeping already, even if you can't help the twitching at the corner of your mouth.

"What was that? I'm sleeptalking and can't hear you over the fact that I'm very deep in my REM cycle now." You fake snore just to sell it and you swear you could feel him roll his eyes.

But he doesn't move you, and you're actually dog tired, and soon, you're fast asleep.

******

His leg goes numb in half an hour, but he still doesn't yet move.

You're really snoring now, and he's sure there'd be droll if you had laid your head to the side. But your mouth is slightly parted, and even breaths leave your nose. You really fell asleep in his lap.

And for some reason he let you.

You're touchy, and nosy, but useful. You keep eyes off him when he needs to gather intel on his own, whatever you can't get him. You don't ask for much and do your community time when you're caught and sentenced. You enjoy it actually. Giving back and whatnot.

Kaveh continually gushes on about you, but should he offer the slightest bit of interest he suddenly turns snarky and possessive. Like a desert fox not wanting to share, he says that he wouldn't want to poison you with his everything.

He has to laugh a little. If only he knew.

Perhaps he could help you out. He's really cheating you with how much intel you bring in, and while he normally wouldn't feel anything, something about you pokes at his conscience.

He's sure he could help you acquire some sort of position that would allow you to continue your...hobbies. Probably at the Zubayr theater. And what about your vision?

You've been trying to hide it but he's caught a glimpse of its fiery red hue a couple of times. It would serve you well, whether gathering intel or defending yourself from troublemakers. You've had a couple scruffles and loose calls that could be avoided.

The only problem is the fact you need a high ranking signature. And you can't ask, no one would be willing to sign for you.

Except for him, perhaps. But were you worth the suspicion?

You'd undoubtedly be able to do more with your vision. You'd be much more useful. If he gets you a position at the theater you'd be more willing to do work for him. It would reap him many rewards. He should start treating you more like a business partner than an employee. Then it's decided.

He'd also have you start taking your payment already. Multiple small withdrawals from the bank would look less suspicious then one large one, and he's tired of you forcing yourself to some strict moral code. Baths and a place to crash are basic rights, not payment. If you're working for him you'll get payed, end of chapter.

Speaking of chapters, he'll move once he finishes this one. Once you were asleep you wouldn't wake until your body was sufficiently rested, a horrible quirk of yours, so he could move without you stirring.

He'd let you stay where you are for a bit longer.