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dyslexicmammon · 8 months

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Unwanted

Chapter two

Characters: Lucifer (Obey me!), Solomon (Obey me!) [not together]

CW// SFW, Angst, Yelling, Implied Lucifer x Mc, Implied Solomon x Mc, Nightbringer MC/attendant MC, Unhealthy coping mechanisms (drinking), You/Your & they/them pronouns used, Mammon & reader

Word count: 2,030

A/N: Hello again! Finally wrote chapter 2!~ I've had this sitting in my docs for ages i just couldn't bring myself to post it. I'm not confident in my writing but I'm getting there! I have an idea for chapter 3 but I don't know how long it will take me. I write all of my idea in one siting and painfully re-read it and edit to a point where i think its okay to post aha. I wanted to thank everyone for the notes & hits the first chapter got, it has been a big boost in my writing confidence. Thank you all!! Take care reader

Chapter 1 / Ao3 / Divider credits

“What the FUCK did you do Lucifer!” Mammon stopped the chase as soon as the shield went up. Spinning around and walking back into the foyer of the HOL. He slammed the door behind him before yelling again, so full of anger his wings twitched. “WHAT. THE FUCK. DID YOU DO?!”. Not taking into account how his own actions that day could have done the similar damage.

His anger only grew as the Avatar of Pride responded with the same tone. “SILENCE MAMMON.” Tears prick slowly in the prideful demon's eyes as he quickly makes his way back to his study. Ignoring the screams of his younger brother calling his name.

As he walked down the hallway, the smell of a meal not yet enjoyed slowly started up on him. For the first time since the fall, Lucifer, the Pride of Celestial Realm, became overwhelmed with an emotion he deemed pitiful.

Sadness…

At first his cries were silent. Only the sounds of his breaths hitching as tears welled up in his eyes escaped him. He walked into his study and slammed the door hard behind him. Causing the walls of the House to shake. Locking it swiftly after. Not just with the physical lock but with a spell that not even Lord Diavolo could break.

Mammon yelled after his brother. Demanding he get an answer for why their attendant had just stormed out in tears. He stomped his way up the stairs and made his way to Lucifer's study, ready to give him an earful till his lungs gave out. Mammon followed behind Lucifer as the door slammed followed by a bright light flashed, blinding him temporarily. A faint outline of gold began to surround the door. The surface of the door now shines and shifts like mica powder in oil. A loud, heavenly bell began to ring. The long, drawn out hum rang in Mammons ears.

Quickly screwing his eyes shut and spinning around, Mammon rubbed his eyes hard. Trying to recover from the flash-bang.

After regaining his vision Mammon covered his ears with the palm of his hands and made a run for Levi's room. Stealing a pair of the avatars human standard noise cancelling headphones. They barely cut through the yells of the spell, but stopped it enough where he could drown it out with some music.

Mammon then sat outside Lucifer's room, leaning back and hitting his against the wall softly. He let out an exhausted, angry tinted sigh. His red face slowly dissipates as he calms himself down. Then the waiting game began. He sat outside his older brother's study till the old man had calmed down enough to ask him what the hell happened.

Once the spell fell from Lucifer's lips, he cursed himself out and began to sob. Clasping his gloved hand to his mouth, trying to calm down and keep his composure. He rubbed his upper arm and shoulders in a self soothing way. Fighting back his emotions.

Surely the attendant didn't have that much control over him? Not even his brothers could make him cry. No matter how hard the bastards try. He was stronger than this…

Then why did it hurt so much? The panic in your eyes as you met his gaze in the foyer. The strain in your voice as you yelled the lie that no one cared about you. What did he do wrong that you doubted it… doubted him? Knowing you were being comforted by someone of the likes of Solomon because of his own choices didn’t help the stinging feeling in his chest.

He threw off his gloves and coat. Painfully making his way to his desk, his chest heaving, the smell of the food you made became overwhelming to his senses again.

He looked down at the meal you made.. The tray was decorated with a little note and stickers of the two of you. By looking at the drawings he realised you had made them yourself.. All to try and cheer him up.

You had cooked his favourite stew and poured a glass of demonus for.. both of you? The more he studied the platter you brought the more he realised how bad he fucked up. Two bowls, two wine glasses full of demonus (he can tell you poured it as the glasses were almost full like a champagne flute), two sets of cutlery… Even two tiny bowls of dark chocolate ice cream that were now slowly melting from the heat of the stews surrounding them.

One of the ice creams was absolutely covered in sprinkles. It was so painfully obvious it was your serving. Plain, boring, dark chocolate was his favourite flavour of ice cream at the moment. You didn’t seem to sing the same praises but always ate it anyways. Always trying to find a way to sweeten it up and make it more palatable for your taste buds…

You always ate it with him anyway… Even when your little experiments fell through and didn’t make it sweet enough for you. Lucifer always said that you were sweet enough for him which is why he ate the dark chocolate dessert.

He couldn’t bring himself to look at the dishes any longer. Hanging his head in shame. He pushed the platter away from himself as he sat down. Just enough that he could rest his head on the table. Feeling his stomach start to churn and a lump form in his throat, he began to sob again quietly. Squeezing his hands together and pushing his nails into his skin, causing it to bruise. Trying to divert the aching pain of his heart.

Had he really been so caught up in his work he didn’t notice or care that you made dinner specifically for the both of you so he didn’t have to leave his office? Had he really not noticed the two bowls before opening his fucking mouth? Did he even look up?.. Did he really snap at you like that?..

His thoughts swallowed him whole.

He didn’t touch the food. He had lost his appetite long ago when he had returned to his study. Lucifer couldn’t bring himself to indulge in the meal you had meticulously prepared without you being here, enjoying it with him.

He did however help himself to the demonus. He drank the glass you had poured for him. Then your own glass. Then he opened a new bottle he had stashed away in his room. He poured multiple glasses, losing himself to the pain. He had gotten halfway through the bottle when his D.D.D pinged. He launched himself at his phone that laid screen down on the desk. Picking it up desperately and fumbling it in his hands. Desperately hoping it was you. Only to be disappointed when he realised it was Solomon.

The text read “They are at home and are staying with me tonight. They do not wish to talk to you at the moment and I trust that you can respect that boundary for now. I will ask them to make contact with you in the morning. Whether they do that or not is their choice.” His phone buzzed again. A follow up text coming soon after. “Goodnight Lucifer.” The words repeated and echoed in his mind till the screen went black. Reflecting the absolute mess Lucifer was back at him.

His teary eyes met his reflection. Quickly darting from place to place on his face. His cheeks were darker than the rest of his face. His hair was all out of place and disheveled. Eyelids already puffy and sore… He looked just as pathetic as he felt.

As he stared at his reflection his eyes began to lose focus and his heart became heavy. Were you scared of him? Did you not want to talk to him ever again? Had he fucked up so bad he had scared off the first person to show his ‘new self’ love?

He grabbed the neck of the half empty bottle of demonus and smashed it against his lips. The sudden feeling of cold glass on his lips made him jolt up slightly. Tipping his head back, he let the now lukewarm liquid rush down his throat. Chugging the rest of the bottle. Why was he drinking? This isn’t healthy. Surely he, the Avatar of pride, wasn't drinking his feelings away.

He wallowed in his own pity for a couple more hours. Each brother coming passed to ask him how to do something. To ask him if he's okay or to ask Mammon for his headphones back.

Beel brought up some leftovers for his brothers. He couldn't rest knowing his older brothers were in such a state. As he walked down the hall, Beel heard a loud snoring sound. His gaze met Mammon's sleeping body. He placed the plate down next to his older brother and snuck away quietly. The disgustingly loud ringing sound of the spell he cast on the door pushed them all away before they started to linger. Making sure no one could hear Lucifer's pathetic sobs of your name.

Lucifer placed his head on his desk once more with some force. Knowing he’s going to have to take the day off tomorrow.. Maybe even the next. Already feeling the headache roll in. How was he going to mend this mistake? He couldn’t just show up to Cocytus Hall and beg for your forgiveness. He didn’t deserve it.. Feeling exhausted from hours of crying and drinking. His puffy eyes fluttered shut as he passed out at his desk.

As soon as he lost consciousness, the spell on the door fell. Mammon had managed to unpick the physical lock hours ago. Now sleeping lightly outside his brother's office with a plate of food, some water and the headphones still on.

When the half silent ringing in Mammon's ears stopped. He shot up, yawning and stumbling over the weird pile of things he had managed to accumulate while sleeping. Where did this food come from? That didn’t matter. It was time he got answers out of the eldest brother.

He opened the door as quietly as he could and looked to see where Lucifer was. His eyes darted around the room frantically. The faint snoring led his gaze to the large desk where the Avatar of Pride was hunched over, out like a light & snoring softly.

Mammon just shook his head and walked over to his sleeping brother. All his previous anger dissipated as he studied the absolute disarray Lucifer's desk was in.

Gently and subconsciously he began petting his brothers back softly with one hand as he messaged Beel with his other. Asking the strong Avatar to come help him move Lucifer to his bed. While waiting for Beel, Mammon tidied Lucifer's desk. Sorting his documents out and shaving Lucifer's to-do pile down as much as he could. Prepared to take what documents he could complete himself.

He wiped the demonus Lucifer had dribbled and spilled off the large wooden desk. Once Mammon had finished, almost comically, the Avatar of gluttony walked in as silently as he could into the room. Meeting Mammon’s gaze and nodding softly. Standing on the other side of Lucifer's exhausted body. Beel picked up his eldest brother with ease, placing him on his back like a back pack. They began to walk out. Mammon walked in front of Beel, holding onto the documents and throwing the paper towel away that he had used.

After about 10 minutes they had finally made it to Lucifer's bedroom. Placing him in his bed and tucking him in. Before leaving they gently put one of his records on and placed some water and a large bucket next to the head of the bed. Just in case Lucifer couldn’t make it elsewhere once he woke up.

They both left his room as quiet as possible.

They high fived the second the door to Lucifer's bedroom closed. After saying their goodnights and goodbyes they parted ways to go to their separate rooms.

Mammon made his way to his room and stayed up for the rest of the night, doing the rest of Lucifer's office work.

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mahouplanetofficial · 2 days

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Basic Magical Hero Terminology 🌙

Hi everyone! Welcome to Mahou Planet's first guide on our tumblr page!

Before I begin, I'd just like to give a couple of regards:

I forgot to clarify that this main account is almost exclusively ran by the owner of Mahou Planet, Georgia. Unless stated otherwise, Georgia is usually the one writing these posts. I just like talking in 3rd person since I want to sound a bit more professional yk?? (psst say hi to me in the comments im so cool)

If you want to hear more about the staff and members of Mahou Planet, please consider following our secondary blog: @mahouplanetstaff !

I'd also like to promote our Discord server a little more. Not only will you get to interact with our amazing community, I also do polls there for our members so they can have a voice in deciding what I write next! If you want to participate or even request ideas of what to add in my tutorials, consider joining Mahou Planet! (as long as you're 13+) The join link is in our bio and pinned post.

Now that that's out of the way, let's jump into the guide!

✨️ TAKING IT SLOW

Wether you're a beginner magical hero who has no idea what they're getting into, or an advanced magical hero who has likely heard these terms in their sleep, magical hero terminology is important to know when you're in the magical hero community. Without understanding some basic terms, you'll have no idea what magical heroes on Wattpad, Discord, etc. are talking about when they post. Let's take things slow for this first post and go over some terminology!

🌙 TERMINOLOGY

Magical Hero (MH) -> A magical hero is.. well.. what you're becoming!

"BUT GEORGIA!!! WHY DO YOU USE MAGICAL HERO IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE MAGICAL GIRL!!!" You can use magical girl as well, a lot of people in the community use that term as an umbrella term. There are some people, however, who want to become a magical girl but do not identify as a girl. For instance, I may be afab, but I identify as genderfluid. I use both magical girl and magical hero, but that may not be the case for others!! Some may use magical boy, magical enby, etc. That doesn't make them any less of a magical hero!

Concept -> A basic explanation of a concept is the type of a magical hero you're becoming. Magical heroes can be from any show, franchise, even your own original concepts! Some of the common ones I see are Precure, Madoka Magica, and Sailor Moon, though personally I've seen a lot more original concepts rise through the community. Concepts can be as vague or as detailed as you want- I'll go more into detail about concepts wayyy later.

Familiar/Mascot -> Familiars, or mascots, are who give you the power to become a magical hero! They usually also represent your team and give you advice on how to succeed as a magical hero. Unlike what you see in typical magical hero shows, familiars don't always have to be animals. They can be humans, objects, etc. Sometimes, you can have a concept with no familiar!

Script -> A script is a collection of what you want as a magical hero. Scripting is the process of creating your script. This is usually done in a word processor, like Google Docs or Notion. You can add in pictures of your outfits/weapons, info about yourself, etc! I'll be sharing some of my self made scripting templates later on!

Subliminals -> Subliminals are subconsious messages over music or noise that go into your subconsious mind, helping you manifest desired results. Subliminals aren't just exclusive for becoming a magical hero. There are different subliminal topics, such as getting longer hair, changing your eye color, etc! Friendly reminder that subliminals are just a tool to help you manifest, and are not required for you to transform. What is required is.. you! Yes, you and your subconsious mind!

I will warn you, especially those new to the subliminal community: we do not condone the usage of problematic subliminals, such as race-changing (and the RCTA community), any underground subliminal, or subliminals glorifying trauma, abuse, etc. If you condone the usage of these subliminals, then leave this blog. You are not welcome here or in our Discord server. /srs

Manifesting -> Manifesting is the act of bringing something into this reality that you want. It's like a dream come true- say, you've manifested good grades, healthy hair, etc. There are several methods to manifest, but the most common one I've seen is manifesting with subliminals.

Affirmations -> Affirmations are positive statements that help reinforce your subconsious mind what you want to manifest. Things like "I will transform" and "I am a magical hero" are some! These are put into subliminals, but you can also create your own to make sigils, spells, etc.

Fantasy Shift Phase (F Shift) -> In fantasy shifting phase, you're planning out your aspects of your magical hero life, desired life, etc. This is where you create ideas for your magical hero concept. You can also create your subliminal playlist in this phase.

Mental Shift Phase (M Shift) -> In mental phase, you're changing your mental (and sometimes physical) state to think like a magical hero. This can be doing good deeds for others, watching magical hero shows, physically training, etc! You're preparing for your future as a magical hero. Acting as if and roleplaying are two common ways magical heroes mentally shift!

Phantom Shifting (Ph Shift) -> Phantom shifting is where you feel the sensation of being a magical hero, however, you haven't fully transformed yet. This can come in the form of feeling sensations of your outfit, weapons, etc while in civilian form. Some magical heroes don't count phantom shifting as its own phase since it's more of a term to describe sensations you feel.

Astral Shift Phase (A Shift) -> Astral shifting is where you see your magical hero form in the astral plane, either by phantom shifting or astral projecting. There's little information on how to astral shift, but don't let that discourage you!

Physical Shift Phase (P Shift) -> Also known as "full results", physical shifting is where you physically transform into a magical hero! You've completed a journey and are beginning another one! Congratulations <3

Fictional Other (F/O) -> Fictional others are signifigant others being manifested into this reality from a fictional source. They can be human, nonhuman, etc! I see a lot of magical heroes do this, so I thought it'd be nice to add (psst, to all those selfshippers out there manifesting f/o's, you are so valid and your partner loves you more than anything in this world <3)

That's all of the terminology I can think of! If you have any questions, think I forgor something, or want to add to this post, feel free to leave a note or an ask!! I hope you guys learned something from this post :)

See you all next time!

(gifs: sailor moon transformation, loona ot12, choerry - loona)

#mahoucore #manifesting #mahou shoujo #magic #irl magical girl #manifestation #magical girl #subliminals #loa #magicalhero

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subwaytostardew · 12 days

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Hello! I’ve been following this mod for a little while now and I want to say!! How absolutely impressed and blown away how amazing it is!! The story and world building is so much fun! And the sprites and the amount of effort you put in each animation is phenomenal! The pokemon look so good and I adore how you made emmet and Ingo’s walk cycles different, and just the! Writing and seer amount of programming done is just! Amazing! Super bravo! You two so clearly but so much thought into (1/?)

First off, I'd just like to say thank you for taking the time to type out all your messages! It really means a lot whenever we get feedback like this!

Kade is brilliant on the world-building aspect of things and coming up with ideas... She sent me a whole google doc with a draft of their schedules a day after I managed to get Emmet in game. Really helped give this project a sense of direction!

I wasn't too confident regarding writing and pixel art at first, but having her take charge with scripts really helped me stay on track towards a higher state. After so many events, I feel like we have a good idea as to how to write their characters. Making Emmet's sprite first did make Ingo's a bit of a pain to draw (since he does not walk like that) but I'm glad I committed to the bit from day one.

I've been staying up late (I get too excited working on the mod...), but I'm making sure to sleep in to account for that! It'll be a while until we get around to releasing platonic versions of their routes (don't get me wrong, it's first on our patch priority- especially since so many people following this are aromantic! We just still have a long way to go regarding the base mod.), but I'm glad what we have is still enjoyable for now. Emmet's part of Ingo's 10 heart event is still one of my favorite things I've written. It wasn't in the original draft and was only added in during the coding phase, but everything is constantly evolving!

As for Chandelure and Ingo, they can understand each other, just not in the way the farmer can understand Pokemon. We actually discussed the logistics and capabilties together but I don't believe we've ever published it in a post. The farmer understands Pokemon as if they were recieving instant translations to English from the noises they "speak". Farmer has a bit of telepathy in a sense because sometimes, they're just making noises, but they can read their thoughts in words. (When writing Joltik, I don't actually have any text in my head... it's just babbles of "bah" and "wawwawawawawa" in my head. Baby noises.) Farmer also has an absurd ability to eavesdrop, so they can just tell if a Pokemon is thinking/saying anything.

Ingo and Chandelure have their souls bonded, but Ingo can't quite decipher what Chandelure's chimes mean exactly in words. He reads her through a mix of tone, how her flames burn, charades, and any visions she transmits into his mind through active effort. In the tunnel, she's just transmitting what she wants to say into the farmer's mind. Ingo can't pick up on that. When Chandelure communicates with Ingo, she has to will his perception, and it's only in images. If Ingo had the image of hand-holding with his crush flashed into his mind, he would just get flustered and eventually assume it's his imagination running wild again. He does get caught up in his ideas, so Chandelure can easilly gaslight him into believing it's his own train of thought rather than her fault.

In that same line of thinking, Chandelure could convince him that he's super down bad for the farmer with enough suggestions since she kind of wants to win a bet with Grandpa saying that they'll get married in three years. Ingo feels haunted about having a crush for a reason.

▷ Station Steward Thylak

#mail car connecting line #Farmer's a freak #You don't see it in the mod because of wizard magic but Joltik is just vocal stimming the entire time #I was just going wwawawawawwawawawawa the whole time when filling out their dialogue #They also just don't know their words and objects well because they're a baby #So the farmer gets them struggling to spell translated in their mind

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hydrangeyes · 6 months

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Tobirama x Seme Male reader

So if you don't know, Yes this already existed, my old account was deleted (accident but I can tell I won't be getting it back), and am reposting my old x male reader works!

I don't know if I saved all of them but here is one that was saved to my AO3 account.

Edit: So shuffling through my docs It's been brought to my attention that wattpad (who I use as backup) Cut a lot of my fics in half??? anyway I'll be trying to fix that also

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Requested by bunglol

This is def Au piece where those who were revived, stayed. Idk that whole story arc just flew passed me lmao. This ended up longer than expected lol, uhhh oops?

Edited: *kicks door open* SUP I HAVE NO EXCUSE ONCE AGAIN I BECAME ADDICTED TO NU:CARNIVAL (like h scenes aside I really do like the combat aspect and am curious on where the story is going)

ANYWAY

IT'S SMUT SORTS, MAINLY FOREPLAY

If I remember right there is fingering and probably eating him out

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As to be expected his mission went well. A few hiccups with a couple of rogues but nothing he couldn't handle. Tobirama jumps rooftop to rooftop away from the hokage's tower, now free to go home after submitting his report.

The only thing nagging him was the fact he hadn't received a welcome back tackle from his....his... If anyone were to see him they'd see a soft blush on his cheek. Thoughts of his loud and energetic pup eased the lasting tension in his muscles and warmed up.

N/N inuzuka, A roguishly handsome man who front he moment they meet, made it a habit to take his entire attention. Knowingly or not. At first it was annoying how the cheery male would constantly try to drag him into mundane conversations and bring him furs from animals he hunted.

Embarrassing really, as Tobirama caught on quickly to what he was doing. And felt he was far too old to be courted by someone so young. N/n being in his early 30's but still, Tobirama felt dying and now back again was enough to give him the years of two old (So what if he was forever 34).

Anyway- N/n started this whole thing when he was just 24! Tobirama let out a bemused sigh as he slowed getting to his secluded home.

And yet, N/n got what he wanted. Tobirama fully and happily wrapped around his fingers. And given that outside of solo missions they weren't together , It felt weird to not have N/n bombard his space now that he was back.

Landing on the porch, Tobirama listened as he unlocked the front door (My how the future has advanced was a thought that kept passing his mind).

'He must have taken up a mission while I was out. Odd how he hasn't mentioned that in his last letter.' Stepping in and closing the door behind him Tobirama slips out his sandals just in time to be suddenly yanked further in.

N/n lets out a gruff whine pulling Tobirama close to sniff and run his hands over his form. Looking for any injuries or aches, ignoring Tobirama's sputtering and seeing there was no harm, he lifts the man up. Effortlessly placing him over his shoulders to carry, running a hand up and down the back of his thigh.

"I know I have been gone for some days, but really n/n! Put me down, what is going on with you!" The silver-haired man yelps lightly smacking n/n's back.

Smack

"Ahh! Ngh n-n/n?~" Tobirama moans out in wonder, a N/n gives him a firm slap on his ass, gripping and massaging the cheek afterward. The wolf huffs and tosses him onto the bed, tobirama blinks as he's being tossed onto the bed.

He watches as N/n eyes him from above, face flushed and fangs bared. N/n's eyes were hooded and dark with hunger, loose pants tented enough that there was no point hiding it.

"You were gone for too long tobi~" N/n purrs out finally, his voice was raspy and a growl trailed just after the words, sending shivers down tobirama's spine.

Oh. He could already imagine he will be out of commission for the rest of the week. His legs already trembling and spreading to allow N/n in.

N/n hums softly pressing tobirama down onto his back. "Of course, if you're sore or tired from your mission-"

"Fuck me."

And with that, the last of N/n's restraint snapped. Claws greedily tore and tossed off the clothes on tobirama, leaning down to eagerly lock and bite at the man's neck and chest.

"N/n! Ah- mm those were-" Rama (fuck it typing this instead of his full name) starts dispite his hands running through N/ns' hair to tug him closer.

"I don't care. We'll buy new ones." N/n growls tilting his head to get a look at the marks he left on the pale neck, before continuing on down.

Semi distracted with trying to mark every spot his mouth could reach, N/n uses his left hand to nudge rama's left leg up and over his shoulder; his right spreading the other.

Rama, having been biting his lips to cover up and muffle his raspy moans, hisses in embarrassment at being so thoroughly exposed. His own hands trying to come down to cover his twitching and flush cock. One glare from N/n stopped him in his tracks.

"N-N/n, please." He keens impatient and is already on edge. And well, seeing his bites litter his mates' chest and stomach, N/n decides to move on (he'll come back to the marking during the second round anyway).

Chuckling N/n gives his mate what he wants being a bit sadistic in taking his time in grabbing lube. Slicking up his fingers and Rama's greedy hole, he wastes no time in pressing and then thrusting two fingers into it.

Focusing on Rama's whimpers and desperate moans, N/n curled his fingers to brush and hit Rama's prostate. Cock twitching in his pants feeling the greedy hole tighten and suck his fingers in. Not able to help himself, N/n scouts up to flick his tongue against the rim, pumping his fingers faster and deeper.

"N-N/N!!!" Rama shouts arching his back and throwing his left leg over n/n's shoulder to try and press him closer. N/n's fingers and tongue overwhelmed him to the point of trembling and rolling his eyes to the back of his head.

Rama's shudders as he feels the large amount of precum he was leaking join the mess N/n was making of his hole. "P-please~" Rama sobs out, reaching to tug his hair for his attention. With a groan, N/n pulls out and back licking his lips eyes hooded.

"Sorry~ You're hole is just so cute and tasty-" cutting him off Rama yanked him up into a messy deep kiss, a trembling hand sliding down to grasp and pump N/n's thick cock.

Pulling back a little Rama stares darkly into N/n's eyes, he pants out. "If you don't fuck me right now pup I will through you down and fuck myself on your knot myself."

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Edit Nov.8.2023: Writing smut is so funny to me tbh

#male reader #top male reader #x male reader #Tobirama x male reader

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kipandkandicore · 9 months

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alright, so we feel like we need to respond to @eeveecraft ‘s post that they made using the document we’ve compiled.

looks like they’ve blocked this syscourse blog… but not our main. so we cannot reblog their post with our thoughts, but we can still see it (and therefore are going to respond to it). we don't think it's block evasion to respond in this way… (though if it is, let us know and we'll rewrite this response on our main blog which isn't blocked).

we don’t like to vague or to talk about a post without reblogging it directly, but we don’t see another way for us to respond properly, so here we go.

we are anticipating this will be quite long... so we're preemptively putting this under a cut.

here’s a link to the original post so you can read it for yourselves and come to your own conclusions!!

and here is a link to our document compiling thoughts on tulpamancy language by those affected. it is so important to center voices of marginalized groups in discussions that impact them!!

but after witnessing an announcement by Plural Nest that they’re switching to parogenic terminology because they’ve been convinced by sysmeds that tulpa = appropriation while literally “sourcing” things from minors, singlets, non-Tibetans, and yes, of course, sysmeds is just so goddamn frustrating that I’m going to write this post. I will be referring to this Google Doc Plural Nest themselves linked in their announcement that contains a motley of blogs and accounts by various people:

it's weird to us that at the very beginning of this post the author claims that the poc voices we've included should be disregarded because they are "minors, singlets, non-tibetans, and sysmeds."

first of all: do minors and singlets not get to have a say on their culture? do they not get to speak out when they notice cultural appropriation that is causing them harm? additionally, is this not an issue that concerns buddhists, and specifically asian buddhists? as we understand it, the term "tulpa" has direct ties to vajrayana buddhist practices. we believe that a buddhist does not have to be specifically tibetan in order to understand this language and to feel affected by western cultural appropriation.

also: how does this person define "sysmed?" because many of the individuals linked in the document are not system medicalists, nor do many of them disbelieve that the western practice of tulpamancy exists. as far as we know, this has always been an issue of adjusting language to respect people of color. not attacking the practice itself.

last, it's interesting that they linked the doc (which includes our tumblr information) but didn't feel it was necessary to @ us, either on this blog or on our main. huh.

now onto their prefaces:

Something that has always bothered me about this “discourse” is that the people who go on and on and on about how they’re protecting minorities and stopping actual harmful, real appropriation by attacking the Tulpamancy community never: Go after actual harmful depictions of tulpa that actively profit off of sensationalizing the paranormal version of the word and deliberately linking it to Tibetan Buddhism (Supernatural, Mandela Catalogue, Slenderman, etc). Uplift the voices of actual Tibetan Buddhists, even ones who disagree with them (which there ARE Tibetan Buddhists who are 100% okay with tulpa as a term, not just the Tibetan Buddhist AMA). Explain how us using tulpa to describe our systemmates is actively harming Tibetan Buddhists. They just say it’s harmful without providing any real examples of harm besides the word annoying them.

why put "discourse" in quotes? are we having a conversation? or are you trying to make it look like these discussions are one sided?

we're a white system. however, we are doing what we can to learn about racism, and are trying to become an active antiracist in our spaces. a big part of unlearning racism is learning how and when to pipe down and listen to the voices of people of color, especially when they're speaking out about something that harms them.

we're not the ones insisting that tulpa language is harmful with no basis for these claims. we are doing what we can to uplift marginalized voices who have said as much. centering poc voices in issues that they feel concern them is an important part of having less racist discussions in our spaces. idk if we’d say we're "protecting minorities" here... rather, we're attempting to make sure the voices of these minorities are heard, acknowledged, and taken seriously. and eeveecraft has done the first two in their post, but not the last.

1) we are personally unfamiliar with supernatural (watched a few seasons years ago and haven't touched it since), mandela catelogue, or slenderman. in fact, we haven't really seen tulpamancy acknowledged in public spaces and fictional works at all. that doesn't mean that we condone the racism within these works!!! we just can't speak on them as of yet because we haven't consumed that content. we certainly would like to, so we can understand what this author is saying about tulpamancy portrayals in media. but we feel like sensationalized instances of tulpamancy in popular media is not the only way this language has been harmful. people online using tulpamancy language have proven to be racist and unwilling to listen to marginalized groups. and since we're more involved with the system community than with the supernatural, mandela catelogue, or slenderman communities... we haven't spoken about it. because we are not a part of those spaces, and are still pretty uneducated about them specifically and how they have portrayed tulpamancy.

this doesn't mean we'll never get around to it! we'd love to help shed light on the racism of tulpamancy in popular media, and we hopefully will one day soon! but that doesn't negate the fact that advocates for tulpamancy language online are being incredibly racist...

2) again, we think that asian buddhists have the right to be upset about this, whether or not they're specifically tibetan. what's more, multiple people with testimonies in the document are actually, specifically tibetan! we'll be interested to see eeveecraft's sources of tibetan buddhists who are pro-tulpa language... maybe they'll be referenced later in the post? (edit side note: they referenced one person they know personally, one tumblr user, and one twitter user, whose thread we could not access for some reason. we added the testimony of the tumblr user to our document, though!)

3) we have explained it. language appropriation is real. it has genuinely harmful effects. our words don't exist in a vacuum. cultural appropriation is not some nebulous thing that never causes real harm to those who experience it!! i mean seriously... is that really what this author believes? we'll include some links to cultural appropriation and specifically how it affects buddhists and/or people of tibet:

x x x

we've said this before, but we will choose to believe the marginalized groups who say that this language directly affects and harms them, rather than those who claim otherwise without the ability to back up those claims with articles, resources, or testimonies from those minorities.

how are these not examples of real harm?

the testimony from the tumblr user referenced in eeveecraft’s post did speak favorably of tulpamancy as a practice, but didn’t say much if anything about tulpamancy terminology, which is what we have been trying to learn more about and discuss.

The intention of these people never was to protect vulnerable minorities, it was to deliberately blacklist a word a community has used for over a decade and a word that is literally being used in academic studies. If we as a community dropped tulpa, cold-turkey, 100%, we would lose access to so much of our history and access to scientific studies that the community NEEDS to be more accepted by the general public.

we vehemently disagree! our intentions are to uplift the voices of vulnerable minorities who have genuine, understandable concerns about tulpamancy language. we don't believe that if this language was changed that community members would lose access to their history and scientific studies.

language changes all the time. researchers have to adjust their language accordingly all the time. there are tons of words that used to be used in research, but aren't any longer because it was discovered that those words were bigoted or culturally appropriated. this literally happens quite regularly in academic spaces, as far as we're aware (examples: multiple personality disorder -> dissociative identity disorder, transvestite -> transgender, etc!)

we have a separate post we're actually working on that refutes these claims made by eeveecraft. we'd call this sort of thinking fearmongering: the action of intentionally trying to make people afraid of something when this is not necessary or reasonable, within system spaces. eeveecraft's post is actually rife with fearmongering, and there is a huge issue with fearmongering in pro tulpa discussion.

after this, eeveecraft links to a tibetan buddhist who was open on reddit about the practice of western tulpamancy and how it relates (or doesn’t relate!) to the buddhist practice. from what we can tell, the author of the post believes that western tulpamancy and buddhist tulpamancy are similar in the name alone, and that’s it.

our issue with this is… if they share a name but are not the same practice at all… why wouldn’t the tulpa community want to change their language? if the language was shifted, there wouldn’t be all this confusion and arguing about a western practice with an appropriated tibetan name.

it’s true though that this is a post concerning tulpa language made by a tibetan buddhist, so we’ll be adding their testimony to our doc. it was never our goal or intention to cherry-pick testimonies - we genuinely weren’t aware of dharmayokeyodasampa’s post!

eeveecraft’s next large section discusses the differences between modern and paranormal tulpamancy, how one is harmful while the other isn’t, and how the two terms should not be conflated.

but they fail to mention how common and likely it is for people to conflate two different terms that have the exact same name. how is the average person supposed to know that when the community talks about tulpamancy they’re referring to modern tulpamancy and not paranormal tulpamancy?

it’s especially bizarre that they claim alexandra david-neel’s tulpamancy definition is the one that is harmful. don’t get us wrong, we completely agree! but that line of thinking doesn’t align with that of other pro tulpas discussing tulpamancy. many tulpamancers are huge supporters of adn and still today claim that she was not racist and did not commit cultural appropriation through her “fact or fiction” tales in magic and mystery in tibet.

like, this is incredibly common. for as long as we’ve been in system spaces and have been trying to learn about tulpamancy (which has been more than a year at this point) we have never seen a single person try to separate sensationalized media portrayals of tulpamancy (aka “paranormal tulpamancy”) from the western practice (aka “modern tulpamancy”) that eeveecraft talks about. if other tulpamancers were also trying to make this distinction… wouldn’t it be more regularly included in discussion? we think it’s a huge and important distinction, if it really exists as one. but we’ve never seen anyone talking about it.

this also leads us to wonder… if people within the tulpa community themselves are having to make distinctions between two different types of tulpamancy - one of which is perfectly fine and normal while the other is racist cultural appropriation… wouldn’t practitioners of modern tulpamancy want to change their terminology as a way to distance themselves from the real racists?

they later write:

Also, important that another blog reblogged that post [our post with the doc, we believe] and mentioned that they’ve spoken to actual Tibetans on Facebook and how none of them think tulpa is harmful specifically because it’s so far-removed from Tibetan Buddhism. Like, they’re cool with it as long as the community doesn’t try and link it to Tibetan Buddhism, which is literally what the community does and has been doing for YEARS.

the most glaring issue we have with this is… if the term was coined by a white explorer appropriating tibetan culture in the 20th century (which it was…), and if other tulpamancers will readily admit that tulpamancy language has close ties to tibetan buddhism (which they do… and it does…) why the huge push from pro-tulpas to distance themselves from their own language and their own language’s history?

this post both claims and denies that tulpamancy language is connected to buddhism. other tulpamancers will readily admit that tulpamancy as a term was created by alexandra david-neel, an explorer which bastardized the terms “sprul pa” and “tulku” in order to write a best-selling book and make money.

it’s weird that those who are pro tulpa language recognize these facts while simultaneously trying to brush them off and sweep them under the rug.

the community is trying to link tulpamancy to tibetan buddhism by maintaining their culturally appropriative language. tulpamancy language directly ties this western practice to vajrayana buddhism and the asians who practice it. we don’t understand the willingness to acknowledge and deny this fact at the same time? maybe we’re misunderstanding this part of the post, but it seems incredibly bizarre to us.

the next section explains that asian poc should have no say over what is and isn’t cultural appropriation of tibetan buddhism. and at first, this does seem like an important point to make! the author explained how chinese individuals should have no say over what is or isn’t japanese cultural appropriation as an example.

but this point still sits weirdly with us. what about diaspora tibetans - those who are culturally tibetan but live outside of their homeland? what about those who are buddhist and who have concerns over their religion and how aspects of it are being taken, bastardized, and promoted without permission or adequate education? as white people, why do we get to decide who has more of a stake in these discussions than the buddhist people of color expressing their worries and concerns? do white non-buddhist voices matter more than asian buddhists regarding this topic?

we really don’t think so.

All it [tulpamancy terminology discourse] does is segregate the community and draw unnecessary lines, which is exactly what sysmeds want because it’s ways easier to harass and kill smaller communities that way or turn them against each other until they eat each other alive. And they won’t just stop with tulpa terminology, they’re just using tulpa because they found a convenient scapegoat to attack it. Sysmeds literally find ANY excuse to demonize or take away a word from the endogenic community, it’s no different here.

To further prove this point, sysmeds literally tried to say “system hopping” is a term appropriated from RAMCOA survivors, which was completely false. They are not afraid to pull the appropriation card on any word they can, tulpa isn’t the only instance of it.

again, many of the people who are bringing up these concerns aren’t even sysmeds. many of them actively support the practice of tulpamancy and endogenic plurality in general. this 100% has to do with racism in the community and unlearning racial biases. the goals of this discussion are not to destroy the tulpa community.

we genuinely don’t see what system hopping has to do with this. because again, the people making these points against tulpamancy terminology are mostly not sysmeds at all.

and if eeveecraft themself can admit that there are two different kinds of tulpamancy - one good (modern), one bad (paranormal), why in the world wouldn’t those who practice the “good” tulpamancy want to change their language in order to be respectful to people of color while further removing themselves from the “paranormal tulpamancers?”

they then say that many people who are against tulpamancy terminology don’t even know what it is. and that may be true for some systems, but certainly not all! we are against tulpamancy terminology and we understand completely what the practice is. our wife has created a thoughtform (which she achieved using tulpamancy guides and engaging with the tulpa community). she has been an active member of this community for quite some time, and changed her labels recently after learning about the dubious roots of the terminology.

just because willogenic (one of the proposed terms to replace tulpamancy) as a label does not cover the whole scope of tulpa experiences, doesn’t mean there are no other terms that have been suggested.

parogenic exists. paro/paromancy exists. thoughtform exists. and if none of these words truly would work as a suitable replacement, we fully believe in the community’s capability to come together and select a new, less racist term. we have complete faith that the tulpa community can achieve this.

it’s also worth noting that many of the proposed replacement terms were created by and for the plural community. we fully believe that if there is no term which perfectly fits the definition, we can change the definition of the term!! so paro could mean any headmate created in the way tulpas are created. the community made these terms, and the community can change them if they need to!!

it’s a shame to see eeveecraft does not share that same faith in their community.

next, they talk about how discussing tulpamancy terminology actually causes harm:

Let’s start with me. On multiple occasions, I have had multiple anons harass my inbox, calling me racist, calling me slurs, and even sexually harassing me in the comments of one of my posts specifically because of this issue. In fact, several sysmeds tried raiding our Discord server alongside harassing us on Tumblr because of what Amanitasys’s post started, and this has also happened to @cambriancrew, @sophieinwonderland, and more because we happen to be blogs that intersect both communities.

we have never, nor will we ever, support doxxing, targeted harassment, suicide baiting, or any other horrible thing that can come out of people being vicious and self-centered online. of course, we can see why folks may call eeveecraft racist, because they are promoting incredibly racist ideas.

the user cambriancrew has been a loud, ableist voice in discourse spaces for years.

the user sophieinwonderland is a proud racist, and is a promoter of zoophilia and other outrageously harmful ideas like transx. we’ve written on this before.

it makes sense that people want to call out and address these issues when they see them. while we do not condone harassment, it’s not fair to call those who are voicing understandable concerns “harassers.” it’s not fair to lump these people in with actual online bullies who cause serious, long-lasting harm.

further, they talk about how anti-tulpamancy terminology discussion harms the plural community by dividing it.

The relationship between the Tulpamancy and broader Plurality community was already tenuous, and for most of the Tulpamancy community’s history, it has stayed isolated from other Plurality circles. It was only within the past few years that the communities started to intermingle, but this drama can ruin that.

Because as someone who HAS been in the community for over half a decade, I can tell you that the majority of the Tulpamancy community thinks this drama is stupid and aren’t going to change terminology for multiple reasons. Now, do NOT take this as the community going, “Tulpa is a completely unproblematic word!” when the community has debated the term’s usage for YEARS. Nobody is saying the word is perfect, but it’s what the community has used for over a decade now and every attempt to change the word has failed. And honestly, as someone who’s reviewed the vast majority of Tulpamancy guides in existence, I likely know better than anyone else that if tulpa was blacklisted like some people want, the community would lose so much history and resources, it’s not even funny.

it's interesting to see the author here claiming that those within the tulpamancy community think this drama is stupid and aren't ever going to change the terminology. especially when multiple times in the post, eeveecraft admits that there are issues with the terminology that tulpamanvers will readily admit, and that those who are "paranormal tulpamancers" are somehow completely distinct from and unrelated to "modern tulpamancers."

we recently created a post on reddit's r/tulpas, hoping to share our document compiling asian buddhist voices on the matter. we wrote about our experience here - basically, our post was removed less than 5 minutes after being posted, despite complying with the subreddit's own rules and guidelines.

it leads us to wonder... how many other posts like ours have been taken down by the moderators without a second glance? how many other pro-tulpa, anti-tulpa terminology folks have tried to speak out on this issue among their peers, only to be immediately dogpiled, shut down, and have their posts removed? how can good-faith discussion happen in these spaces when the community leaders are so quick to remove content, and those seeking answers and discussion are dismissed as bad actors?

we think that those with concerns (either from within the tulpa community or from asian, buddhist spaces) absolutely have the right to air their grievances. and by ignoring, deflecting, and brushing off these voices, those who are pro-tulpa terminology are not doing anything to help, participate in, or even put an end to this discussion. instead, they are perpetually putting it off, and allowing a wound within the community to fester and get worse over time as resentment builds.

to us, this poses a more significant threat to the tulpamancy community and the plural community overall than any real attempt to discuss the issues of racism and cultural appropriation regarding tulpa language.

eeveecraft then claims that changing tulpamancy terminology will cause others to lose access to the wealth of resources created by tulpamancers over the years.

If we completely dropped the word, the ability of new people to look up and find these guides becomes FAR more difficult. “Tulpa” is a unique and consistent word and makes it easy to look into the community, which in turn helps people discover resources that can help them on their tulpa creation journey.

their responses to the anticipated "just change the resources" argument are as follows (paraphrased)

there are tons of guides, resources and research articles already published using tulpamancy language. and tulpas need these to remain the same in order for tulpamancy to spread in the public sphere

the majority of people who wrote resources are no longer in the community and may not consent to their resources being adjusted

they personally are critical of and found flaws with other tulpamancy replacement terms

there aren't as many resources being created now as there used to be

we've seen a lot of these claims before, and are actually working on a separate post that refutes many of them. but basically:

we believe sites like tulpanomicon, tulpa.io, and tulpa.info could include information as banners and on their front pages that express community concerns and explain that they are making the shift. sites can also be set up so they redirect to others. so, say, if the terminology changed to "paro/paromancy," the sites "tulpa.info" could redirect to "paro.info." the community could rally together to rewrite many resources that exist, while creating new ones. this wouldn't be an instantaneous shift, but it certainly could be achieved over time.

for those who aren't in the community or don't want their resources changed... they can be left alone. if the host sites (reddit, tulpanomicon, tulpa.io, tulpa.info, etc) included disclaimers on their websites about the language shifts, it wouldn't be that big of a deal for many guides and resources to be left untouched

if the community were to come together and choose, say, paromancy as a replacement for tulpamancy, the definition of this term could probably be adjusted to accommodate for tulpas who were created naturally or spontaneously. with such a huge language shift, it makes sense that some adjustments need to be made in order for everyone to be represented. additionally, we see no issue with "thoughtform" being both an umbrella term and meaning something specific based on the context. there are many, many umbrella terms which function this way!

honestly the shift of language might bring with it a resurgence of interest in the community. especially if people are vocal about the change and why the community has decided to commit to this shift! we genuinely think that this could bring so much good press to the community and help it regain popularity.

after this, they speak about how those pushing for a change in tulpa terminology remind them of sysmeds, and that they have to be doubly careful about which spaces they interact with because those which claim to be "inclusive" may be phasing out language that they believe is racist, ultimately excluding those who use tulpa language and cutting them off from the plural community.

we don't think this has to happen. we think this makes a lot of assumptions and assumes the worst about these communities, and fails to recognize or acknowledge the genuine concerns people have.

we run a positivity blog for systems, plurals, and multiples of all sorts. right now, we're nearing 2k followers. on that blog, we are very clear in our stance that we are pro tulpa, anti tulpa terminology. we will never turn away a tulpamancer from our blog simply for the words they choose to use to identify themselves. we will be vocal about lifting up marginalized voices, we will be honest about our concerns, and we personally will not be using or advocating for tulpamancy language on that blog. but we certainly have not and will not cut off tulpamancers from that space.

we don't see why this can't be the case in more places. it is not our goal to divide the plural community from the tulpa community. rather, we think this shift could bring us together as we join to make a long overdue shift away from culturally appropriative language. we fully believe this could make the community stronger as a result.

So, in the Tulpamancy community’s perspective, we either: A.) Give up our most used word and people lose access to so much history and resources, and create a huge divide in our already fragmented community. Or: B.) Stick to our guns, but be excommunicated and villainized by the broader Plurality community.

we aren't a fan of the false dichotomy here. we think there is a secret third option, which is:

c. band together with the plural community to address this issue, choose a new term, commit to change, and adjust the resources we can while uplifting the voices of those who have been so often silenced along the way. this change could bring the community together and also shed positive light on the community in public spaces, bringing us together and strengthening both communities as a result.

personally, we like this option a lot more!

in their next section, eeveecraft writes:

So, what are people trying to attack so hard and blacklist from plural spaces? What are people fighting so hard against to conform to their standards, or be labeled as racist? What Tulpamancy is, for a lot of people, is a means to living a better life. I cannot tell you how many stories I have read of tulpas stopping their hosts from taking their own lives, how creating a tulpa has hugely improved the mental health of others, or how tulpas encourage their hosts to socialize and take care of the body, or how just making a tulpa connects you to a community with the mutual interest in self-improvement and self-love, and so, so much more. Tulpamancy improves people’s lives, and Tulpamancy techniques are not exclusive to us.

we absolutely agree that the practice of tulpamancy can be immensely beneficial, beautiful, and positively life-changing. we ourselves have seen our wife's mental health and outlook on life drastically change for the better through fostering connection and building a relationship with her thoughtform, nevetien. nev has improved our wife's quality of life so much, and the community they've found online and with each other truly is something special.

we love this for her. we want them to be able to grow and flourish in the future together, and we feel so lucky to be able to help them nurture each other and witness their strength and joy as they grow closer together as a team.

this does not negate the valid concerns over tulpamancy language by buddhist poc. it is possible to support the practice of tulpamancy while rejecting the racist roots of the language. and shifting away from tulpa language does not mean abandoning those with thoughtforms, willomates, paros, or whatever term is chosen in the future.

finally, the conclusion:

“Tulpa” as a term, at best, is murky. Nobody is arguing that David-Neel was a saint. She wasn’t, and she’s dead and buried. Tulpa isn’t her word anymore. People in the Tulpamancy community are just fed up with outsiders trying to dictate how their community should be run. We know the term has issues, we know its history is not all sunshine and rainbows. We do not need outsiders barging in and stating the obvious and acting like they know more than we do about our own community and history. And look, I know some people who believe tulpa is appropriative have good intentions and just want to be non-offensive, but people take advantage of that. Sysmeds took advantage of people wanting to do right and weaponized people into being their mouthpieces under the guise of, “We just want to be racially-sensitive.” But instead of actually protecting minorities, all it did was harm another minority while ignoring groups who are taking advantage of the word, and using it for clout and profit. That is exactly why I started this LONG essay with why this whole thing is a bad-faith argument.

it is weird to us that eeveecraft is willing to acknowledge issues with alexandra david-neel, while deflecting issues that arise from the terminology coined by her. she may be dead, but the cultural appropriation she committed is still alive and well today, and will be for as long as tulpamancy terminology remains in use.

we understand the frustrations with not wanting the community's path to be dictated by outsiders. however, this language does affect many outsiders (i.e. asian buddhists and practitioners of vajrayana buddhism). it also does seem like there may be many people within the tulpa community who are uncomfortable with this language and want to shift away, but their voices are buried or silenced by others within the community.

you can't say "some people who believe tulpa is appropriative have good intentions," then follow that with "sysmeds will take advantage of that and weaponize others while claiming to be racially-sensitive." that attempts to negate and cast aside the real concerns of those who have issues with this language and want their voices to be acknowledged and included in the conversation. in this way, eeveecraft, you weaponize the voices of anyone worried about the racism of this terminology, by lumping them in with sysmeds so that you can ignore their valid concerns.

we are not attempting to ignore groups who are taking tulpamancy terminology and using it for clout and profit. we genuinely will take some time to learn about tulpamancy in popular media (specifically aforementioned supernatural, the mandela catalogue, and slenderman) in order to speak up against the use of culturally appropriative language. we just felt the need to address the problems in our own home (tumblr, and the plural community here) before stepping outside our front door. we can't be expected to properly or accurately discuss issues that we were never made aware of, because we just hadn't been exposed to it before.

we did not make that document in bad faith. we have never argued against tulpamancy in bad faith. we are not a sysmed, and in fact are vehemently pro-tulpa and accepting of systems of all origins. however, as we learn more about racism and struggle to call it out and come to terms with its existence within our own communities, we can no longer continue to support tulpamancy language in good faith.

we know this was incredibly, incredibly long. if you've stuck with us this far, thank you so much for reading. we are not an expert on tulpamancy, though we have been involved in the community for a while. we're no expert on race, cultural appropriation, buddhism, or anything that we've talked about today, really. we're just a system who truly cherishes the plural community, trying to confront our own internalized biases and sharing how we feel about this response to our document.

thank you for your time. take care.

#syscourse #tulpamancy #tulpacourse #pro tulpa #anti tulpa terminology #racism

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emmathemandelaresident · 21 days

Text

My final statement on the Kister vs Ven drama.

I have read all of the documents word by word, and initially, I had nothing to say about it, but re-reading all of them again, even Ven's new document before they deleted their Twitter/X account, I now finally got something to say about it.

Just to note, this statement is my full over opinion on the Kister vs Ven situation. I'd love to hear what you overall thing about this drama that had been all going around for nearly a month.

For those who don't know:

On March 12, Alex Kister, the creator of one of the most popular and well known analog horror series, the Mandela Catalogue, as well as his other series called Mystifying Oracle, was accused of predatory behavior by Twitter user STIRRINGJUICE (or Ven). I am not gonna go into too much detail, but the doc mainly states the accused problems Alex did while he had been with them and been friends with other fans.

A week or so later, Alex Kister has made a long response towards the accusations. In the doc, he provided plenty of evidence to justify his claim that overall that the doc Ven made is moreover wrong, but at the same time, he admitted that he had been friends and boyfriend with the fans and even trauma dumped to them. I will tell you, person reading this blog, about my personal opinion on this kind of action Kister has admitted too.

Later on, Ven made a pubic apology about them making the doc and their wording, saying that it is "transmisogynistic" and that what they did to him as an actual person was "excruciating". A day after they posted this apology, they have since deactivated their Twitter/X account, thus possibly putting an end to this drama.

Now that you all know about the history of the Kister vs Ven drama, lemme tell you my final opinion/statement.

When I first heard the allegations, I instantly felt devastated and upset over this and I had thought that Alex Kister was a good being. As a result, I felt some sort of heavy resentment towards the dude, but I never stopped loving his series, the Mandela Catalogue. I still do and I continue to write it (Wattpad is emmathemandelaresident; I digress).

Later, I began to move on and when I saw Alex's response, I was initially unsure of what to say or what to feel about it, but I will admit though, the way he has written the doc and provided much evidence to justify his claim is not really that bad at all.

But lemme tell you my overall opinion with his admitted actions. Being together romantically with a fan is not a great idea at all! These are your FANS that love your work and you should appreciate them, not go too far to be together with them, and ESPECIALLY not trauma dumping towards them! These are people that look up to you and your work, and venting towards them as well as dating them is fucked up in my personal opinion. These actions Alex had are inappropriate and I hope that Alex learned a very important lesson over that!

Overall, I will admit that he proved himself innocent, but I was still skeptical about this, so I continued to have some resentment towards him (though by a little bit).

Then when Ven's document came up, I legit had enough of this shitty drama. I kept asking to myself, when is this gonna end? Then I decided to read their doc. I honestly had no idea who I can trust anymore, cause at this rate, it looks like Alex Kister has won against the allegations in the most impressive way possible.

But I do believe that Ven's actions to get back on the dude and deplatform him was wrong and it should never be taken this kind of way to make an accusatory doc. Also the sentence "I did not expect crew members would leave because of how some of them responded initially" is kinda stupid. Like dude, your document had a WHOLE LOT OF SHIT AND "EVIDENCE" AGAINST KISTER. How could you possibly not expect crew members and actors to leave the Mandela Catalogue!?

I feel like this whole thing should have been kept in private and behind closed doors to avoid any kind of drama and other problems that escalated into something big! This would've been simple and easy, but Kister and Ven didn't do it.

Now just like Alex's response to the situation, I didn't have anything else to say or feel with Ven's new doc. But now I know that what they did was wrong as Alex's admitted actions to his fans.

So overall, I believe that both sides are mainly at fault. Alex's admitted actions are inappropriate and wrong and Ven's "goal" to deplatform the former is abhorrent. Now do I still love the Mandela Catalogue? Of course I do and like I said, I continue to write my crappy fanfic on the series. I believe Ven's decision to delete their Twitter account was good enough considering his actions, but I also think that Alex SHOULD learn something from his actions of dating people who looked up to and venting towards them.

I will continue to be active in the Mandela Catalogue fandom without traces of the drama barging into my brain and my Wattpad life.

But that's all for this giant statement! God, this was a lot to type on my laptop but that's my overall opinion on this Kister vs Ven situation.

I'd love to hear what you think about this drama!

Okay, now time to go sink into a mud puddle.

#my blogs!#the mandela catalogue #mandela catalogue #alex kister #tmc #drama #this is my first blog to be typed on laptop-#also this is the longest I have typed yippee

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mastersoftheair · 2 months

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You're doing the Lord's work posting all of these pics from the boys instas, etc bc I do not have an Instagram or whatever and I would never see these things otherwise! Thank you!

you're welcome!!!! also, i am Not a social media person At All (i'm a tumblrina through and through). the only reason i have an instagram, really, is to message friends/family who almost exclusively message people through instagram for some reason lol

+ (overly-detailed) storytime about instagram research under the cut (since i'm using your ask to take a trip down memory lane...)

back in 2021, with tremendous help from @carninator-blog (who was equally as interested in the "MotA Cast Investigation"), i managed to cobble together a growing list of cast and crew members (sometimes, i was faster than imdb lol). instagram was the Key tho, like it was INVALUABLE! if you found one person, they might post a story that shows Another person with them and, if you recognized That person, then you could find Their profile (if they had one). and so on and so forth.

dramatic reenactment of this:

anyway, it's a lot easier to do the instagram stuff now (can you believe i mainly use it for "research"). i browse the search term "mastersoftheair" and have retired the rest: "mota" (too much weed lmao), "masteroftheair" (an easy typo, but no one makes that mistake anymore), and "whirlwind" (production name which yielded 1 result out of like. 50 or more). i even had to download an old version of the instagram app bc they just HAD to get rid of the "recent" tab which is crazy inconvenient! that's where all the timely information is!!

another thing. a few guys straight up Do Not have an instagram profile (....like nate mann. it'd be hypocritical of me to not respect it but come onnnnnnn, nate mann!!) and, while some guys Do have a profile, they never post anything about MotA Ever (like fionn o'shea). further- some guys don't have a profile anymore, but they used to (like kai alexander). some guys have a private one (valid. also callum turner), some guys suddenly got Verified some time inbtwn the production and the premiere (the elliot(t)s), and some guys changed their user name (like josiah cross). every once in a long while, i have to go update my cast/crew instagram profile list on google docs with all the names and links and GODDDD i sound like a weirdass stalker now that i've put this all into words, but believe me when i say i'm very much not invested in any of the actors' personal lives!! i try to keep it as professional as i can (everything's sourced, like an archive). i'm only ever looking for the MotA stuff, Exclusively.

additionally, a lot of behind the scenes pics and videos would Only get posted in cast members' stories. if i missed that 24hr window, i'd never see it again (unless they decided to put them on their profile), so, i'd check their instagram profiles Every Day whenever i was free. on the bright side tho, a lot of them were Fantastic behind the scenes pics/videos and "watching" the production of this show from afar (through instagram, of all things) was a lot of fun in the midst of pandemic anxieties and boredom (go check my 'video' tag if you're ever in the mood for some on-set cast shenanigans!)

while i'm here tho, i've gotta say that while keeping up with the cast back then was fun the Vast majority of the time (if nothing else, it gave me something to do during the chaos of 2021/22), i had a sorta anxiety about it sometimes wrt the, idk, "sensitivity" of the content. it was very NDA This, NDA That. i figured, "well, if they already posted it in their stories, it's probably fine" until one of the cast members Literally made a whole tumblr account and very kindly asked if i could please remove a few of the pics i posted of him bc he technically wasn't allowed to post them in the first place, so having them Out There could get him in trouble! i was SOOOO embarrassed about it and i felt Awful about the possibility of him getting in trouble all thanks to some hyper-observant internet rando (thankfully, tumblr is famously lowkey. it'd be different if it was as popular as twitter lol). after that incident, i had this semi-anxiety about "should i post this pic or just That one? should i Not post this?? should i download/save them and post them after there's a big announcement of some kind??? where's the line?!! What Do Now???!!". it didn't help matters when, in the MotA behind the scenes facebook page, a bunch of really cool set pictures would sometimes get deleted within an hour bc Whoops! the poster actually wasn't allowed to share those (and, even if i'd already downloaded them before they got wiped, would i be able to post them, despite being under no such NDA myself? or would i get another mysterious DM?)

but that's all in the past, now! i'm pretty sure i've posted Every Single One of those behind the scenes pics/videos, provided i downloaded them in time. if not, sometimes the (finally active) MotA subreddit has my back lol.

further, looking for Any MotA content during from 2021 to 2023 came with acknowledging the eventual "droughts" (what i nicknamed them) where it'd be a good while before i saw anything new at all. bc of this, i have a legitimate soft spot for certain cast members who posted a lot of updates/pics/videos Wayyyy before we even got the first teaser (s/o to luke coughlan, louis greatorex, jordan coulson, josh bolt, and josiah cross for keeping hope alive)

tl;dr- it's no problem and i'm happy to do it!

#long post #all this detail is half bc i like talking about research (i'm a nerd if that wasn't abundantly clear)#and half bc i want to keep this memory for myself. in 5 years i'll probably wanna read it again who knows!#masters of the air #hbo war #asks

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spaghettificationandpretzels · 1 year

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A Voice Through the Nothingness Part 1

Series Masterlist

Contains: Near-death injury, angst, coma, disease outbreak, mild fluff, and more angst.

3.3 K words

Comment if you want to be tagged or follow #a voice through the nothingness

“Nothing is predestined. The obstacles of your past can become the gateways that lead to new beginnings.”- Ralph Blum

It was meant to be routine, nothing was supposed to go wrong, but it did, and now Frank was waiting in the hospital waiting room, covered in his best friend's blood because one of their rich clients lied to them.

He was going over the whole thing in his head, where they went wrong, what could have been done better, but every time he closed his eyes, all he could see was the bomb going off spitting distance from Billy.

And the noise, the horrendous sound of fracturing glass and Billy's screams flew around his brain from ear to ear like a sadistic butterfly. Everything washed into focus when Karen appeared in front of him, "Frank, what happened? It's all over the news, there was some kind of bomb."

Frank swallowed, "Hill lied about everything, and our checks missed it. He tried to come clean about it, but by the time he had shown us the accounts, it was too late. That fucker got Billy blown up over a few million bucks, who the fuck tries to pull over on the fucking Russian mob?"

Karen sat beside him and placed her hand on his thigh, "tell me everything."

"It wasn't on their books. Their biggest backer is a shot caller from Brighton Beach. Hill was skimming from the beginning. He said he hired us because they had been getting threats because they wouldn't merge with Telcorp. I don't know how the fuck we missed it."

Karen reached up and stroked Frank's face, "cash in hand is hard to track and if this player never showed his face, there's no way you could have known. Telcorp is one of the worst companies in America, you didn't look any further because his explanation made sense. This isn't your fault Frank, this is that shot callers fault."

Frank's face hardened, "don't worry, I know."

It took five hours for someone to come out to give them an update, by that time, the hospital had moved them into a private waiting room, and everyone was there, half of Anvil, Curtis, Mat and Foggy, David, Sarah and the kids.

Frank could tell by the look on the doctor's face that things weren't good, but he asked nonetheless, "how is he doc?"

The doctor took a deep breath, "your friend is still in surgery, it's likely he'll be in there for a few more hours. He had some deep lacerations to his face but we're hopeful that his vision is still fully intact, and it doesn't look like there is any damage to the underlying essential nerves or structures, so while he may still have numbness, he will be able to move his face."

There was more, "his jaw and throat are also fine. The breaks in his arm and leg are minor considering everything and set easy. The issue is with his brain, there's swelling and multiple skull fractures. The Neurosurgeon is still working to control bleeding and patching what she can, but right now, we're not sure if he will wake up or what condition he'll be in if he does."

Frank nodded, "thanks, keep us updated please?"

The doctor nodded, "of course, we're trying our best Mr Castle, someone will be out in a few hours when the neurosurgeon knows more."

****

It took eleven hours for them to put Billy back together, cutting, gluing and sticking for Billy to come out with his head wrapped in bandages and a tube down his throat so he could breathe. Sarah had taken the kids home to sleep, but no one else had left and there was a slowly growing pile of coffee cups in the bin.

The same doctor came out looking haggard but assured and despite Frank's sire muscles, he was up in a flash, "what's the news?"

The doctors didn't offer him a smile, but it wasn't a frown either, "we don't know. He has a brain injury, a very serious one at that, but, he did maintain his airway when we did a breathing trial. We have him in a medically induced coma right now to give him brain and body time to rest but the fact that he was breathing on his own, even if it was for thirty seconds, is a good thing."

The whole waiting room relaxed, "right now, we have no idea if or when he'll wake up, it could be in a week, it could be never. If he does wake up and has function, he will need significant rehab to be able to return to some semblance of normal life. We don't want to give you false hope right now, but so far, the signs are good."

****

Billy was in the ICU for a month. On day five, they brought him out of the coma and pulled the tube from his throat. On day ten, he started to show some signs of activity but a twitch here and there was nothing special occurring to the neurosurgeon.

They had taken shifts, a constant rotation of people in and out so Billy was never alone. The nurses even put a cot in the room so someone could stay there overnight.

Every day for a month, they spent hours hanging on the doctor's every word, watching the nurses turn him to prevent bed sores, getting updates from the physiotherapists as they worked on him to keep his body working and talking to Billy in hopes that it kept his brain active.

Come the end of the month, there was a sadness in the air as they moved him to the long term care ward. The doctors would tell them every day that they were hopeful, that there were tiny improvements here and there that showed he might be getting better but deep down, they all thought the same thing, he had a few months of the same care in the hospital before he was shipped off some else to rot and die.

Frank refused to leave Billy's side the day of his move, sitting there with a bobbing leg holding his hand while he lives on coffee and cheap hospital food. When Curtis came for his shift, Frank's leg refused to carry him out.

Curtis placed a warm hand on Frank's back and sat on the chair next to him, hoping to give him some comforting words, "this is Billy we're talking about here Frank, he's going to get through this."

Frank shook his head, "and if he does and wakes up a zombie? He's said it before Curt, he doesn't want to turn out like his mother."

Curtis shook his head, "when Bily wakes up, we both know he will work like a dog until he can leave here on his own two feet."

Frank swallowed, his eyes filling with tears, "I can't lose him Curt, he's.."

Curtis cut him off, "Billy's one tough motherfucker, he'll pull through, I can feel it in my bones." He gave Frank and hearty slap, "now go home, or I'll call Karen and have her drag you home."

That had Frank up, "alright, no need to call in backup, I'm going."

Curt stood up and wrapped his arms around his friend, "we're going to get through this, don't worry."

Five months later

Hazel sighed, her eyes heavy as she dragged her feet from her station in the peds ward to long term care across the sky bridge and down the hall. It's a journey she had made every day since she started working two at the hospital years ago. She followed the same routine each time, arrive at the ward, grab a coffee and take her break with her best friend, Lizabeth.

She leaned against the table in the breakroom and rubbed her face, the double shift hitting her like a truck as she watched the people outside, "Who's the new patient? He seems pretty popular."

Hazel sipped her coffee as Lizabeth spoke, "Willaim Russo, some hot shot military contractor. He got a face full of glass and a TBI in that bomb blast a few months ago."

Hazel thought for a moment, "wait, does he run a company called Anvil?"

She nodded, "yeah, most of his visiters are his friends, why do you ask?"

Hazel sighed, "because it's a small world."

"Excuse me," no response, so she tried someone else, "miss.." People were rude here. Hazel really didn't want to be late, she couldn't imagine it would look good if she didn't show up to get the keys to her shoebox apartment.

She was going to give up when a man caught her eye, he was handsome, almost insultingly so but even in his very nice suit, he looked like he had lived a thousand years without sleep. She stuck out her hand and waved, "Sir, sir, can I please have a moment of your time, I just need some directions."

To her relief, the man smiled and slowed, "of course ma'am, where were you headed?" He gave her an easy smile, his teeth blindly white,

Halez pulled out her huge map and pointed to a street "Newport Properties, they said to go to seventh but then someone at seventh said to come here, I'm about as lost as a bee in the dark."

The man laughed, "you're on the right track. Get on the next train and then get off in seven stops, it should be easy from there."

Hazel smiled, "thank you so much, you're a saint."

The man smiled, "no worried ma'am, take care of yourself."

Hazel walked away only to realise that she had a million more questions and if her track record was anything to go by, she wasn't going to find someone else to answer them.

"Wait."

He turned around and walked back over, "still lost?" There was a charm in his voice.

She nodded, "yep, like I said, as a bee in the dark."

He gave her a look, "how about I sit next to you, you can ask me all the questions you want?"

She smiled, but her brain caught up to her good nature, "you're not a serial killer, are you?"

He chuckled, "no, ma'am, I'm not, I promise."

Hazel sighed, "I really don't want to take up any more of your time."

The man shook his head and stuck out his hand, "it's no bother, ma'am. I'm Billy."

Hazel accepted his hand, it was warm and calloused, "Hazel, it's nice to meet you Billy."

The train arrived soon after and they got on, Billy pushing way to get them both a seat, "so what do you want to know Hazel?"

She shrugged, "how do I get from Hell's Kitchen to New york General?"

Billy held back his smile and pointed to the map in her hand, she passed it to him and he opened it across their laps, taking time to answer her questions as he showed her where to go.

"You working there?"

She nodded, "I'm a nurse in the peds ward, it's meant to be one of the best."

Billy looked her over, she was beautiful, "yeah, I've heard that too. How long have you been a nurse?"

She smiled softly, "ten years, I love it. What do you do?"

Billy's face was a neutral mask, "I just got out of the Marines, I'm actually on my way to look at a property for my new company."

Hazel's face changed as if she was trying to read his thoughts, "you're starting your own company, that's awesome, good for you."

Billy smiled, "thanks, most people pick up the Marine thing."

She shook her head, "I'm sure you hear thank you for your service all the time, most of the time, it doesn't mean anything. I'm guessing you're a bit sick of the platitude."

For the first time in a long time, Billy was stumped, "wow, people usually aren't that honest. And yeah, I do get a bit sick of hearing it, most people don't mean it."

Hazel huffed, "humans aren't known for their understanding."

There was a sadness in her voice that Billy understood, "I'm sure you've been on the receiving end of the same thing a few times before?

She nodded, "yep, you can only eat so much cheap pizza before you realise that the pizza should be a raise and more paid time off."

Billy laughed, it was hearty and filled with warmth, "don't I know that. Speaking of which, have you tried any yet?"

Hazel shook her head, "I've been too busy, plus, everyone says to go somewhere different, and bad pizza is just sad."

Billy pointed to the man, "Mama Magda's, you won't get anywhere better."

Hazel's smile grew, "ok, I trust you, even though I only met you," she looked at her watch, "fifteen minutes ago."

Billy shook his head, "what else to you want to know?"

She blinked, "so much."

They talked for what seemed like seconds but it wasn't, with the last chime, Billy's smile faded, "this is your stop."

Hazel mirrored him, "oh, that was so fast, I though it was going to take ages."

Billy shook his head, "nah. You better go, you don't want to be late."

She stood up, and the train slowed, and then Billy pulled something from his pocket, "here's my number, call if you get lost again."

He passed her the card and she smiled again, "thank you Billy, you're a lifesaver."

Hazel sighed, the money fading. "I met him on the train on my first day in the city. I had no idea where I was going, so he sat next to me until I got to the right stop. I always meant to send something to his office to thank him but I lost his card unpacking, I'm glad he has people."

Lizabeth smiled, "yeah, it's good to see. How's it over in the land of little ones?"

Hazel chuckled and sighed, "great, we had one of those petting zoos in the yard today, the kids had fun."

Lizabeth raised an eyebrow, "and you didn't?"

"You know I did, there's no need to make fun of me." Hazel's tone held no offence.

"I'm not making fun of you, I just know how you get around poor little things in need of love." She could tell Lizabeth didn't just mean animals and children.

"Oh shut up Lizzy."

Three weeks later

"Can we at least move between wards?" No one was happy about the meeting, but the joy of outbreaks meant they had to.

The director nodded, "You can move between wards if you are fully vaccinated and follow infection protocol, but we ask that you use discretion and don't go where there aren't infections already. It might only be measles but we can't take any chances."

Hazel rolled her eyes and turned to her friend sitting next to her, "well Lizzy, looks like we need to bring back teased hair and rainbow pants because we're back in the eighties."

Lizabeth huffed, "we're on infection number two, I don't think it will be long before half the ward goes down."

Hazel rubbed her face, "let's hope it doesn't last long, they said it would be three weeks until we reassess, but who knows."

"We can only hope, there's only so many of us and you know how fast my guys go down without company." Lizabeth's tone was a mix of anger and worry.

Hazel sighed, "you don't need to tell me, maybe you'll get more staff?"

The look Lizzy gave her took Hazel all she needed to know.

Six weeks later

The walk between wards had become less of a way to pass the time and turned into a lifeline, a few moments away from the bright colours and loud noise to rest in the quiet of a place now devoid of anyone else but unconscious patients and staff.

Hazel and Lizabeth clinked their paper cups together and swigged their coffees, "so much for three weeks, it's looking grim here."

Lizabeth rubbed her face, "yeah, it's feeling grim too but we're trying."

Hazel drummed her fingers against the wall, "I know I'm not suppose to ask but how's Mr Russo doing?"

Lizabeth looked at her friend, she noticed how her eyes would flick to his room every now and then, "like the rest of them. My day is a mess of backsliding and fielding calls from people wanting to come and see their loved ones."

A few moments passed before Hazel spoke, "you need more people right?" Her friend nodded, "I'll come in, admin will be fine with me coming in as long as they don't need to pay me. I'll finish my shift then start a four hour volunteer one. Give me two patients and I'll read to them."

Lizabeth smiled, "as long as Russo's one of them?"

She knew Hazel didn't mean anything malicious by it, she just wanted to return the favour for helping her on the train. "Yeah, I owe him and I never got to thank him for helping me, better that that never right?"

Lizabeth chuckled, "sure. I'll get the paperwork for you when we walk by the desk."

Hazled smiled, "thank you Lizzy."

Two days later

Hazel took a deep breath, book in hand and walked into Billy's room. She had no idea where she was going to start or what to say, she felt kind of silly but nevertheless, she owed him something and she was going to pay him back.

She pulled up a chair and sat by the bed, taking his hand in hers, "I'm Hazel, you probably don't remember but you helped me a few years ago on the train when I got lost. I meant to call you but I lost your card when I was unpacking and when I looked up your company but I couldn't find your direct line and I didn't want to be weird."

Billy could hear her voice as her name entered his ears and her face flashed through his skull, "as lost as a bee in the dark." He wanted to respond, squeeze the warm hand in his, do anything to let her know he was there but he couldn't

Hazel sighed, "I know you have people but they're not allowed here right now so I thought I'd fill in, not that I'm much of a substitute. I brought a book, I didn't want to pick anything that would bore you but I was worried about nightmares, so I picked Murder on the Orient Express. I figure if you haven't read it, working out who the killer is will give your brain something to do."

Billy wanted desperately to speak, to let her know that nothing could be worse than the darkness he felt as the hours passed him.

She cleared her throat, "I spend most of my time reading to children, so you'll have to forgive if you feel like you're listening to a Disney movie."

"Better that Frank reading me the paper." Billy thought to himself.

"It was five o’clock on a winter’s morning in Syria. Alongside the platform at Aleppo stood the train grandly designated in railway guides as the Taurus Express. It consisted of a kitchen and dining-car, a sleeping-car and two local coaches.

By the step leading up into the sleeping-car stood a young French lieutenant, resplendent in uniform conversing, with a small man muffled up to the ears of whom nothing was visible but a pink-tipped nose and the two points of an upward-curled moustache."

The story went on and Billy felt like he had a movie playing in his head, her voice faded in and out but he always managed to stay tethered to its strands until a buzzing sent him flying back into his withering shell, "I'm sorry Billy, that's my cue to leave but I'll be back tomorrow ok and we'll pick up where we left off."

She squeezed his hand one last time and stood up, and Billy willed himself to move at least one finger, and to his despair, it happened just as her footsteps faded away.

Part 2

#a voice through the nothingness #billy russo #the punisher #fix it fic #billy russo imagine #billy russo fanfic #billy russo smut #ben barnes #the punisher fanfiction #billy russo x ofc #frank castle #karen page #everybody lives/nobody dies #curtis hoyle #daredevil

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marshmallowprotection · 3 months

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Hey Kait, sending you and everyone who had to be involved in this nasty predicament all the love in the world. It made me feel so sad to read through what you guys had to go through... It's not right at all. Fandom is supposed to be a place to have fun and share your love for something with each other, not tear others down. I hope you guys all recover from these horrible experiences at your own pace and don't blame yourselves too much. You all did a fantastic job putting the doc together. Do remember that you are loved and appreciated ♡

Thank you, Mia, sincerely. This fandom is our home. It's a place for us to smile and share the love we have for Mystic Messenger. It's a place to make friends and laugh. It's not a place for people to harass and bully others. There is no justification for anything that has been done. That behavior has no home with us in this fandom. Thank you for the warm and kind words.

That means a lot to me right now as there is a lot of slander and misinformation being spread about me and others. It hurts to know people would rather lie about me, my friends, and anyone in this fandom who've been hurt by this than take accountability when the evidence is right there for all to see.

#mod kait #ask #natasha in space

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voidify333 · 4 months

Text

20 Questions for fic writers

I was tagged by @almarnatiaam- thanks!

1. How many works do you have on A03?

2. What's your total A03 word count?

133,211

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Mostly Ace Attorney these days.

I've also written for Les Mis and Good Omens; Les Mis makes up most of my works at 20 (though 4 of those aren't really fics, they're fanart pieces I posted to ao3 for sewerexchange).

And there's a couple random fics that aren't any of these: The Temptation Of Immediate Relief is a Pride & Prejudice missing scene fic that I wrote for high school english class and posted a polished version after graduation, and All Alone is a short War & Peace fic expanding the character of Anatole's wife who's entirely just a plot device with no character in canon (elephant in the room: the name I chose for her was retroactively made weird by my later fandom journeys by being cognate to the name of a completely different character, but like, whatever). I still think both of these are pretty good

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Wilson & Sons (Good Omens outsider POV fic about Aziraphale's barber, a family business that he's been going to since the 1700s), at 1861 kudos

You're Better Off Without Him (Good Omens outsider POV about the guy in episode 4 who says that line), at 763 kudos

perfectly statue-still (Ace Attorney 3+1 fic about elevators being a trigger for Miles, angst with a happy ending), at 433 kudos

driving back in style (in my saloon will do quite nicely) (Good Omens fic, silly cute little A/C getting together scenario), at 303 kudos

naughty list (Ace Attorney fic; angst with a happy ending; the premise is that Gregory didn't get to tell Miles that Santa wasn't real so when the von karma household didn't do santa Miles thought he was on the naughty list for a solid 4 years. If you haven't read it, ho ho ho 'tis the season to read it now), at 241 kudos

Yeah, my good omens stuff is never being unseated from the top of my leaderboard unless I end up getting into an even bigger fandom at some point in the future

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to, because comments absolutely give me life and I need a constant stream of them, but unfortunately I don't get around to it often enough

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Absolute angstiest out of my published works is probably my very first ao3 fic, not quite nowhere to turn. Valjean sees Javert die and is too late to do anything. The fic is very flawed in that I was 15 and had not learned how to do subtlety, I can't look at it now, but I was a hyperlexic kid with A's in English so I think it's still better than what most people were writing as teens

Second answer is merry christmas., my most recent fic (if you haven't read it yet, HO HO HO TIS THE SEASON), it's Miles' POV for the first bit of Turnabout Goodbyes, it ends on a note of hopelessness that he's doomed to be convicted, but it only debatably counts since anyone who's played the games knows that the turnabout is coming

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of my stuff has pretty happy endings, that's just my sensiility as a writer-- even "not quite nowhere to turn" has an afterlife reunion scene-- so I'm not sure what to say here.

There's some fics where the conflict was trivial in the first place (comedy and crack stuff), there's some fics where I feel in hindsight that the ending was a copout and that a rockier path to happiness would have been more interesting if I had mustered the strength to write it (When Tomorrow Comes is the primary example tbh), and there's some where it feels earned (the fics in this category include the ones I like the most)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I've thankfully never gotten hate on AO3 that I can recall

9. Do you write smut?

Yes I do, but none of it is up on my ao3 account at this time. I have a ton in my google docs though...

10. Do you write crossovers?

I've written a couple. Both of them, funnily enough, of the format "javert meets one of my other blorbos and they recognise what they have in common"

In "and if you fall" (honestly the point of the title would have landed better if I did the full lyric "and if you fall (as lucifer fell)" but at the time that felt too corny), Crowley happens to be in the right place at the right time to talk Javert down from jumping (context: within GO book canon Crowley was asleep for the 19th century except for getting up in 1832 for a loo break)

In "The Choice Of Death" Miles Edgeworth meets Javert's ghost (AA ghost lore notwithstanding) one liminal night during his year away

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

On a tangent though, bc there's no question directly relevant to share this info, I HAVE gotten fanart for a fic before: this amazing fanart by @maym0rin for chapter 2 of "perfectly statue-still" (she gave me permission to crosspost it on tumblr bc she didn't have tumblr at the time but she later got tumblr when the twitter ship started sinking). There is nothing more flattering as an author than getting fanart, I hope this first time isn't the last time

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not yet!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes, I helped with @almarnatiaam's fic A King's Heart and got a co-writer credit.

And outside of cowriting on the level of be listed as cowriter on ao3, my friend who doesn't have tumblr (it's tsl for all the mtnr server friends reading this) and I have been collaborating and bouncing ideas on each other's fics for... wow, it's been over a year now!

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Honestly it would have to be Valvert because it got to me at a formative time and has shaped the kinds of ships I like for life

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

What do you mean "the" wip????

I have two dead fics and counting (one for les mis, one for good omens), and that's just the ones where I posted the initial content before realising it's too intimidating to finish. There's so many more in my docs; my friends know about some of them

16. What are your writing strengths?

Here are some that I have no problem bragging about, I reread my own fics often and smile at the moments where I did a banger line

Character voice (especially when the characters are my blorbos)

Using fancy vocabulary with precision in the prose to achieve effect (a skill born from trying to copy the vibes of victor hugo)

Witty prose humour (a skill born from trying to copy the vibes of pratchett & gaiman)

Prose from the POV of someone in a fucked up state- someone in a dark place emotionally, or someone whose motivations are fundamentally misguided or outright malicious. This is THE most fun shit to write for me

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Committing to long term character pain and tragic character conflict when it's not pulled/extrapolated directly from canon. I have many times read a fic where the author puts blorbo through the ringer and thought "damn if only I wasn't such a fucking coward and could write stuff like this". I've become less of a coward over the years and now enjoy

Writing anything long without a detailed plan for the entire thing

The need to use words with precision and write perfectly in character is as much a weakness as a strength. I am not a "write a whole first draft then edit" person I am a "dot points for the bits I don't have perfect words for" person and this sometimes causes issues where I assume I'll figure out how to get from A to B later but then it turns out to not make sense to get from A to B

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I have 4 years of Duolingo French and have used this occasionally for my Les Mis works. The way I think of my Les Mis works is that the characters are all speaking French behind the fourth wall but the fourth wall translates for us, so I avoid puns that only work in English except on a couple super cracky occasions.

For Inspector Javert Chooses Death (a fic with the premise "AU where instead of dying Javert fakes his death like Edgeworth and goes to england and unrepresses his homosexuality") I was originally planning to write the whole letter near the end of the fic in french and put the translation in footnote but my beta reader got confused so I scrapped that and had the prose paraphrase most of the letter and only included one French sentence

19. First fandom you wrote for?

First fandom I published fic on ao3 for was Les Mis. First fandom I published fic anywhere online for was Animorphs (when I was 12 I published a weird dark comedy fic to FFN which was a 5+1 or similar format of Visser Three executing people for slighting him by morphing into huge creatures and eating them. Then people on animorphsforum.com told me the fic was bad so I lost all confidence and didn't write fic again for years)

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Right now it's between my two most recent AA solo fics: merry christmas. (already explained; 1-4 fic) and the perfect weapon (Manfred POV throughout his revenge plot, SUPER fun to write all that villain pov, grew from the premise "he had to have known about the nightmare to plan all that")

My best Les Mis fic is but i have seen the same (i know the shame in your defeat); it explores my favourite parallel with a cool alternating scene format and I actually still like the writing and characterisation even all these years later which is a rare honour for one of my high school Les Mis fics

Tagging: @squadron-of-damned @kaleran @samioli @ashkazora @azalawa-scroggs

#ace attorney #les mis #valvert #narumitsu #good omens #fanfic

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kohiu · 2 years

Text

Here to address some unimportant things to long-time followers of this account.

Trying to be transparent about things that most people should not care, but here I am, writing this. Hello, Kan here. In 2019 I was active in this fandom of a video game called Tales of Vesperia. I had consistently created fan arts and comics which has gotten a decent amount of attention, I believe some of you here are still following me because of the contents I've made during that period of time. For these past three years, I have tried everything to block people's memories out of that fandom, I really wanted to move on, I wanted everyone to move on so I can continue creating works which I am proud of. I've had been receiving assistance from friends to curate my contents, and we did our best to completely wipe off contents related to Tales of Vesperia. I don't know how to tell you this, but anything Tales-of related now hurts me tremendously. I can't even look at JRPG at a genre where I could hearfully enjoy anymore. Hell, I cant even force myself to look at Elden Ring because the Bandai Namco logo is enough to make me relive the painful experience. For anyone who has continued reading this far, I have attached a google doc released in 2020, entailing of the details of why I cannot associate with the video game, nor the people involved in it. Please understand this google doc only scratched the surface of what happened. ---- You may be wondering why I am addressing this now. I have been getting messages, emails, from former friends and fans asking me about the works I have done for Tales of Vesperia. Along with inquiries of continue doing fan works of it. I am begging you, please stop, I understand you just want to support me, but your words are going to undo the mental scar I'm trying to heal from. The other reason, is because recently, this person mentioned in the google doc has attempted to contact me again. I am still being stalked for something I participated in three years ago. I feel incredibly unsafe for this. I don't know where he lives, and I have consulted legal options to keep myself physically and mentally safe. I have Shin helping me with communication and minimize the stress I will have to deal with online platforms, even so that's the most we can do to counteract. I'm tired, stressed out, out of option, and really just want to run away forever. I believe releasing this statement will make my stalker attempts to contact me again, and that's the least I want to happen. In the past, he has sent his friends after me as well. I don't know what I gain from telling you all of this. People were hurt during the time I tried to defend myself from this stalker, and I don't want this to happen again, and this is why I had chosen to isolate myself from everyone for all this time. Please, I want peace. Leave me alone. - Kan (KOHIU)

#text

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fanfic-reading-challenge · 1 year

Text

Rules & FAQ

Hi everyone!

Welcome to the 2023 Fanfic Reading Challenge! This has always been a little bit of a dream to me, Juulna, to do, but I lacked the fandom insight then that I have now. Or, well, in late 2020, leading up to the new year! But it only really came to fruition through a conversation in one of the Discords I belonged to way back then, when @betheflame brought up the same idea I'd been mulling over for a while --- we'd always been on the same wave length; something which definitely made us good friends! She graciously stepped aside so I could create this, as she had plenty of other things on her plate (like the kickass Stony Podcast and assisting with some charity auctions, along with a prolific writing career!), and so I took up the challenge of creating this, well, challenge for you, instead.

In 2021 I was all by my lonesome and rushed to get out a challenge that people could start putting to use, though I by no means cut any corners. And it actually turned out to be a success!!! But, simply put: this year, with help from some enthusiastic participants who had some great ideas, and who dove into the drafting process with me, I think this 2023 Fanfic Reading Challenge will be even better than the last one! It certainly is bigger, hahahaha. But really, I could not have done this without the regular, monthly feedback from @jandjsalmon and the questions and comments, put forward to me by @attractiverock, as I came up with new challenges. Of course, my best friends Annaelle, Perry_Downing, and grlie-girl deserve some shout-outs too, for listening to me… shout??? cry?? throw things??? Yeah, you really deserve more than kudos for all my ridiculousness.

BUT OKAY! Before I get carried away, here are some basic rules and info to help you succeed. Check below if you have a question, and if you can't find the answer here, you are more than welcome to send an Ask to @juuls or @fanfic-reading-challenge on Tumblr, check the latter's blog posts and FAQ, or send an email to [email protected] --- both emails and Asks send me notifications pretty quickly, as does direct message on either blog!

So what is this?

Well! It's a reading challenge (much like with book reading challenges from POPSUGAR and Book Riot) but specifically designed for fanfiction. We all know we and everyone else we know is going to read at least one fic this coming year, so why not earn a spiffy, name-embossed badge while we're at it!?

That brings us to the basics…

The event runs from January 1st to December 31st, 2023. If you started a fic in 2022 but finished it in 2023, that absolutely counts in full towards the 2023 challenge and word count. Anything you read before you start this challenge (whether in January or May or October) counts too!

Signing up: You don't need to sign up at all! You can just grab a copy of the challenge spreadsheet and fill it out however you wish (or even keep track of your tasks in an entirely different manner like a Word doc). Declaring your intention to participate is more of a thing if you want to be held accountable for your goals, but it's not like we're going to be angry with you if you don't finish any of it!

This challenge operates on the honour system. If you said you completed a fic for a certain task, that's between you and whichever ghost/saint haunts/watches over you. Come January 2023, all I'll ask is just to see the document you've used to keep track of your challenge, so I can match it up to the numbers which determine which prize you get!

Yes! Prizes! Here's an example of one of the 2021FRC badges:

There are a few changes to the style of this year's challenge. Instead of multiple lists where you have to complete x amounts of tasks for each to achieve the Extreme challenge (this provided less leeway), I have combined all of the tasks into a single spreadsheet. To achieve different levels of completion, you can pick and choose whichever task you wish from anywhere on the list, as long as you complete the required number of tasks for each level.

Participant Prize: Complete at least one task from the challenge!

Regular Mode: Complete between 80 and 159 tasks.

Hard Mode: Complete between 160 and 239 tasks.

Extreme Mode: Complete at least 240 tasks.

Anything else?

Two different fic trackers/reading logs are included in this spreadsheet. The 'Fic Tracking Sheet' was created and used by @jandjsalmon during 2021 and 2022, and the 'Reading Log' was created and used by @juuls also during those years. Both have their pros and cons, so please feel free to try both, combine them, alter them, or use something else entirely! We won't take any offense whatsoever. :) Feel free to adjust them as needed and ask questions if you need to!

This challenge is for any fandom, any ship(s)… or you can use more than one fandom and/or ship to complete this!

Fics can count towards more than one goal. (It's just more fun if you use all different fics! :D)

This Challenge runs on the honour system.There is no need to comment or kudos on the fics (though this is greatly encouraged, even if just to say ‘I really enjoyed this, thanks for writing!’ for the former) and there will be no need to link to the fics you read for this challenge. There will be space where you can write the title/author—but that's the minimum required along with checking off each task you complete, when you submit the spreadsheet in January 2023 (in order to receive your prize!). I don't even need to see your reading log, if you even have one! This is supposed to be fun. :)

Don't compare yourself to others! If you can't complete the challenge, or can only complete part of it.... honestly? You're still awesome in my books. Plus, if you manage to check off even part of this crazy list, you should know you've done a damn fine job. Don't push yourself too hard, don't feel guilty if you didn't complete it... seriously, I'd still, personally, post my list even if I completed just 10 items, to show that I did do something!

If joining late, the Monthlies ('time-specific tasks') you missed can be done at any time, but the monthlies still to come should done during said month.

Maybe a bit of a repeat but... You do not need to report to me that you're finished with the challenge, but I will absolutely have a place on Tumblr where you can tag me with goals/whole challenge complete! (@fanfic-reading-challenge) Tagging the blog is the easiest way to catch my notice, or by email as per above. If you do wish to claim one of the four+ badges, you'll need to fill out a Google Submissions form I'll put together in the latter months of 2021, which will require at the least for you to link your challenge spreadsheet to me (making sure the share feature is enabled), with each completed task checked off. Preferably you include the links to the fics read or link to a Google Doc with the links (I will include examples on the Tumblr as to how I am completing this challenge), but that is not required. Honour system, remember? :)

To use the challenge spreadsheet, simply 'create a copy' (under 'File' in the browser version), and then save the copy under whatever name you wish to. After that, you can change anything you like except the goals themselves.

How to contact me.

Well, obviously you can send me an Ask on @fanfic-reading-challenge! On that Tumblr, there will also be an FAQ page (this page), and you can submit questions via the Ask box too! :) I'll keep the FAQ as up-to-date as possible.

Conversely, I have the 'messages' option turned on, so you can just send me a direct message on @fanfic-reading-challenge (or @juuls).

Tag '#2023frc' or '#2023 fic reading challenge' and I'll reblog most anything related to this challenge if/when I find it! But as said above, tagging the blog itself is probably the best option if you want a reblog/answer/interaction. :)

Comments/Suggestions/Complaints?

I recognize that there may be some things I should have included (more minority goals, but I'm goin to work on that for next year's list) or should not have included, based on each individual's personal opinion, but I created this list for fun, and the goal is to have fun, and it's a learning experience for us all! If you must criticize, please keep it constructive and polite, but also: you do not need to participate. I've done my best, am already anxious, and will be keeping an eye out for how I can make things better/more inclusive/less or more X, Y, or Z…. etc. I promise. <3 I included, for 2021 and 2022's form submission, a place where one could submit suggestions, and it's absolutely possible to leave said suggestions or comments anonymously. I'm doing my best, as have my wonderful partners in this year's, 2023's, challenge. We tried to mix things up from 2021 and 2022, so some things have been left out, or, in fact… they have been set aside for next year's challenge! 2024… seems like forever away, and now I feel cursed just for mentioning anything to do with the passing of time these days, yikes.

One Last Very Important Thing!

Based on feedback, anywhere where the challenge lists a '(relation)ship', this year you may include Gen pairings, Friendships, and Family relationships. We have and will continue to attempt to incoporate more Gen and Family-friendly (rather, no romantic or sexual) pairings/groups into the challenge where we can. This is a work in progress and we are trying to take as many suggestions as we can and incorporate them into the existing structure. One thing's for sure, it'll make the challenge a little less repetive each year --- there are only so many tasks you can incorporate before things become repetitive from year to year, I'll tell you that! But I try. :) Please address any concerns with me by any of the ways to contact me below!

E-mail: [email protected]

Tumblr: @fanfic-reading-challenge

Personal/my fandom Tumblr: @juuls

Leave an Ask or send an e-mail, or some other form of polite communication!

Questions will be answered as soon as possible, though I am chronically ill, so please bear with me. No more than a week, though! Complaints will be assessed on a case by case basis. Suggestions will be given due consideration and treated according to the level of politeness therein. Thank you for your understanding!

Most Important of all…? HAVE FUN! EXPLORE NEW WORLDS! ENJOY YOURSELF! <3

(And please keep staying safe for yourself and others!)

#rules #faq #2023frc #2023 fic reading challlenge #reading challenge

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