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#math class did something again
martyryo · 5 months
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I can't cook I lack ingredients and they cut off the gas
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cutebisexualmess · 6 months
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i neeeeed high class homos to come back from its hiatus
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bmpmp3 · 2 months
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when people complain about getting like, a 98% grade on something because it was "so close to perfect" its like. i understand what you're saying on a technical level. but that is a line of thought so far away from my experiences and ways of thinking that i do feel like im from another planet. 100% isnt even a real number to me
#i kinda understand when its something like a multiple choice test or something where there is an objective answer#it might feel like u got so close but just missed one#again still a bit alien to me because my scholarly performance is mysterious and anything over 70 is great to me#but i mean ive had a 98 before once in a math test. i did get exactly 1 bit of 1 question wrong#but i didnt really care that it was one off from perfect i was too busy being happy because that was the highest mark id ever received#and the previous math test i had taken got a 53% . grade 11 was a wild time for me in math class GHJKSHFKds#anyway i kinda see where ur coming from with stuff with right or wrong answers like that#but i sometimes get friends in class complain that they got a 95 or something on an art assignment#because they think they got docked 5 points for one or two little things#but i dunno. thats not really how fine arts departments in university tend to grade things#you dont start at 100 and get docked marks for things you got wrong. i dont think ive ever seen a 100% on something like that#tbh the numbers are a little arbitrary i find. i do prefer to try to get em higher because that helps with grants and stuff#but the numbers dont mean all that much in fine arts or in art history (my two majors) a 75 and a 95 can function the same depending on lik#weighting and context and feedback and whatever. i dunno its a wild world out there#it might just be the perspective of someone who did really goodbad in school. (GoodBad (tm) its when ur good but also kinda bad at school!)#compared to someone who got a lot of perfects in mandatory schooling. i sympathise i really do that kind of pressure sounds insane#but while i sympathize i cant really empathize as much unfortunately with this specifically orz its a world very far outside my purview!#100%s arent real to me so they never cross my mind to be worried about LOL
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wewontbesleeping · 2 months
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YAY!!!!! i took my math final. and not only did i pass. but i got an A. which means i'm passing the class. with an A!!!
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legofemme · 2 years
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How to explain to people that a show doesnt have 'bad lesbian rep' if it doesnt have any canonically stated lesbians in it. A character being mean to people doesnt automatically make them a lesbian. Maybe the problem is assuming any mean character is a lesbian by default . Which is, by the way, a lesbophobic assumption and NOT the fault of the writers
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clamorybus · 1 year
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twice in my high school career i was sent to the hospital from school due to an autistic shut down, and i recently realized that both those shut downs occurred in math class
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irisintheafterglow · 8 months
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[bernie sanders voice] i am once again.. thinking about coparenting megumi with boyfriend!satoru.
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"so you're both megumi's..."
"guardians," you smile politely, praying stupid shit doesn't leave the mouth of the boy next to you. it's wishful thinking.
"yes," he beams so tenderly that you resist the urge to scrunch your nose in disgust. he takes your clammy hand lightly in his and turns back to megumi's teacher. "we had him young." a soft ow comes from under satoru's breath as you kick him under the table, forcing an expression of normalcy onto your face.
you hated parent-teacher conferences because it reminded you just how abnormal megumi and tsumiki's situation was. they had no parents, nor did they have any close relatives that cared for them the way a family should. that left you and the white-haired idiot in the tiny seat next to you to fill in that duty, and between missions and training students, you weren't around as often as you wanted to be.
"i...see," the teacher says hesitantly, eyeing your boyfriend with obvious unease. after a moment, she regains her composure and refocuses on you completely. "is there anything you wish to discuss before we begin?"
"not for me, no."
"when can we get him bumped up a grade? or have him skip one altogether?" every single word that comes from satoru's mouth is a joke but it still has your face burning with embarrassment that you were associated with him. "you know, i skipped a few grades when i was young."
"i can tell," you whisper and he pinches the flesh of your thigh between two fingers in defiance.
"i believe that skipping grades would be unwise at this time, as we haven't done any testing yet-"
"he was kidding, i swear," you say apologetically and, thankfully, the teacher continues as if on a script.
"i see. well, megumi is progressing wonderfully in the class. he's very adept at reading and writing, but he does struggle with math sometimes. it's nothing to be worried about; many children struggle with math at his age." you nod in understanding but grimace inwardly. megs always wanted you to help him with math homework since satoru became frustrated with the problems faster than the actual 2nd grader.
"for being the strongest, he's not that smart," megumi stated bluntly one night while you helped him on a coffee table in the teacher's lounge. you'd sent satoru on a walk around campus after his distress was clearly bothering megumi, who ended up suffering more from satoru's "help" than benefiting. "you're not around that much anymore to help me so i don't know what to do." his tiny eyebrows furrow and you reach out to run your fingers through his spiky black hair.
"i'm really sorry i'm not around as much anymore. do you want me to ask nanami? he handles math all the time."
"i think that'd be worse than satoru."
"you can't get much worse than satoru, buddy," you concede and his mouth turns up a little bit. nothing like a little insulting his mentor to get the boy's mood improved. still, his frown returns like it's his default expression.
"what if i can't do it? what if i'm not like everyone else?" it made your chest ache in a different way when megumi or his sister said something like that, like they were well aware that they weren't normal children. your heart panged for them and mourned their loss of a "normal" childhood just because they were born into a big three clan. it wasn't fair and it was something you lamented to satoru almost every week. you couldn't tell the boy any of that, though, no matter how much you wanted to explain why he wasn't like the rest of the kids in his class.
"just try your best, okay? sometimes, that's all we can do. you're already doing great by asking for help. it's not your fault if someone doesn't know how to help you, so just keep trying." he nodded determinedly; after another hour past dinnertime, you finally finished walking him through the rest of the problems while satoru draped his lanky body over the couch behind you, watching defeatedly over your shoulder.
"is there anything we can do to help him with math?" you ask, unconsciously weaving your fingers with satoru's and giving it a light squeeze. he squeezes back three times. i-love-you.
"he just needs a little reassurance that he's on the right track sometimes."
"mmm, don't we all," you murmur and you don't expect the teacher to laugh softly under her breath, muttering her agreement. before you know it, you've organized megumi's papers into his folder and picked him up from the playground outside his classroom, taking his hand as you walk back to the car.
"your teacher says you're doing well in class."
"really?"
"mhmm, though i didn't need her to tell me that since i already know." you shoot him a small smile, leaning into satoru's body as his arm wraps around your torso. "you, however, need to learn some manners," you lightheartedly tease, knocking your elbow against his abs. "you were not helping in there, you menace."
"it was boring, what do you want me to do?" his tone is so carefree, so comfortingly satoru it made your heart melt.
"it's a parent-teacher conference, not parents. you could have waited outside if you were so bored. went to play on the playground or something." his head dips close to your ear and you feel some strands of his hair brush against your skin.
"but then i don't get to watch you be all mature and put-together."
"trying to follow my example?"
"trying to break your composure," he corrects with a sly grin. "i'm the fun one, after all."
"that's one way to put it," megumi deadpans without hesitation and you stifle a snort.
"i'm one of a kind!"
"you're out of your mind, is what you are." before he can protest, you press a kiss to his cheek and he turns a slightly opaquer shade of pink. "but i wouldn't have you any other way."
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leiswxrld · 3 months
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𝐅𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐀𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧
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pairing: Dealer!Abby x Camgirl!reader
synopsis: you’re a college student when you suddenly ran out of your fix of weed and your normal dealer is out of town so Ellie your closest friend gives you abby's number a well-known dealer on your campus but all you'll be getting is the weed right?
warnings: MDNI, 18+, pussy eating (r receiving), weed, smut, car sex, fingering (r receiving), reader is 20, praise + degradation (baby, princess, slut, mama) , dirty talk.
a/n: haven't wrote lesbian smut before but anything for abby she is so mf fine, also another thing to mention cam girl only gets mentioned once but might make it an actual thing.
credits: @cafekitsune @animatedglittergraphics-n-more for line dividers ❥
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Abby Fucking Anderson.
She was the college's well known dealer and was always known to be selling drugs towards the back of the parking lot. You would see her black Mercedes parked out back and only caught a glimpse of her, she was well built, dressed in a black tank top and a pair of baggy shorts to go with it.
Her hair was always in a braid or down no in-inbetween and you barley saw her face, you'd occasionally smoke when you were stressed about the amount of assignments piling up and your last dealer was out of town so you knew he wouldn't be back for another month or so and you were desperate for some weed.
So when you ask one of closest friend's Ellie she gives you Abby's number and your now sat in the dark in your room conflicted, deciding whether or not to message her but with a rush of confidence you send her a text, watching the delivered message on your screen illuminating your room.
'You still selling'
A few minutes pass by as you're scrolling on TikTok, the anticipation killing you as you kept checking the message over and over again. Your eyes widen as you saw that she had seen your message and she began to type, the three dots appearing on your screen before a loud ding echoed in the silent dorm.
🍃 'Yh sorry was just with one of my boys if you want I'll be out back you've seen my car right'
You read the message, tapping on the back of your phone thinking of what to reply with before your typing away,
'The black Mercedes right'
She's reads it, the three dots appearing once again
🍃 'Yh meet in 5, you go to the college right'
'Yh I do'
🍃 'k meet in 5 yh'
'alr' ❤️
Abby likes your message and you turn off your phone, what were you doing, yes you were desperate for a quick fix but to go to Abby you were fucking nervous about even though you had never seen her face or even talked to her eye to eye.
You quickly dressed into the quickest thing you could find, a black skirt and pink top that was thrown onto your basket from yesterday and you grab your keys and phone, sliding into your fluffy slippers before leaving your room. It was beyond curfew just gone after 10 as you quickly leave the building, the cold bristly air hitting your arms, giving you goosebumps.
You make your way towards the back entrance parking lot, quickly spotting the black Mercedes, the trunk was open and Abby was dressed in her usual attire of a tank top and shorts with a boy just stood just a few feet from her, you recognised him to be Darren from your 1st period science lesson that sat a few seats behind you.
Approaching you finally see her face, she was breathtakingly beautiful, blue eyes, pale skin and cute freckles spread out across her nose and cheeks. A few strands fell to her face as she laughed at something Darren said, she must have noticed you approaching in her peripheral vision because her attention turned towards you as so Darren's.
Your legs felt like jelly as you got approached, her eyes scanning your face before slightly looking you up and down stopping at your thighs. Did abby just check you out ?
"Your Y/N right" she spoke out, the raspiness of her voice making your knees buckle slightly.
Darren crosses his arms before his eyes widen, "Oh shit Y/N your in my maths class right" he says, "Science, i'm in your science class"
"shit my bad" he turns to abby and you notice the small bag of weed in his left hand, "thanks abby, see you next week yeah" he says, going to dab her up as abby reciprocates.
"You know it" Darren gives you a ‘nice to see you again’ slightly smiling before walking off happily towards the boys dorm. "So Ellie tells me you're trying get some weed yeah" she asks as your attention turns back to her.
"oh yeah I just run out and needed a quick fix" You reply and she hums going to her trunk and pulling a small box tucked towards the back, opening it and revealing a fuck load of drugs. "How much"
You don't usually know the amount you buy since your dealer just recommends the it and your just stood there contemplating, "You alright"
"Yeah sorry my dealer normally recommends the amount so I don't really know how much" she pauses, biting her lips before grabbing one little baggy. "3 grams alright for you, it's one of my best sellers at the moment"
You eye the bag before nodding, "Yeah that's fine how much will it be" you reply going to grab your purse and pulling a few hundred dollar bills. "Shit what do you do, no college student should have that amount of cash unless your a stripper or sum'
Your cheeks heat up as you meet her very intense eyes, you were what some called a cam girl, fucking yourself with different toys for people online and hooking up with people you've met around college that promised to keep your little side hustle a secret, the only few people who knew about what you did was Ellie since you had accidentally left your computer open on the site and she managed to accidentally press the recent video of your fucking yourself with one of your toys since she needed to access a file on your computer and she promised she'd keep it a secret.
"oh- I uh sell clothes from now and then so that's how I make most of my money aside from my job" Abby notice's your nervous stammers but decides to leave it.
"Well it's $50 for 3 grams" she replies as she watches you pull out five ten dollar bills, handing it to her. She takes it stuffing it into her pocket, "Nice making business with you Y/N" she replies, passing you the small baggy and closing the trunk,
She turns around to still see you stood their a conflicted expression on your face, "sum wrong"
"Yh no I normally smoke this with someone, usually can't finish a blunt by myself, I'll end up getting too high but its alright thanks" your about to walk away before Abby's voice stop's you.
"If you want I can smoke some with you and then the next time you come to me I'll give you a discount" she offers and you think about it for a second "Sure I'm down, anything for a discount" you joke and she smiles.
"Let's do it in my car don't want to attract attention" she says, walking towards there driver door before getting in and you follow getting into the passenger side.
"Do you mind if I turn on the car, it's bit cold in here- you sure you ain't cold in that little skirt you got on" she implies, looking at the black plait skirt that barley covered your knees.
"Say's the person with shorts that barley cover their legs...I should be asking you the same question" you remark and she chuckles turning on the engine and you feel the warm breeze hit your legs as you go to adjust the mini fan on the dashboard to face your direction.
Abby goes to connect her phone to the car, the familiar song Die for you emitting from the speakers. "Pass the bag princess" your heart skips a beat at the nickname Abby gave you, watching as her arms tense up as you pass her the little bag with weed in. She grabs a small brown paper from her pocket and you watched as she fixed up the blunt, rolling it into the familiar shape and sealing it.
She takes a lighter from the cupholder and passes the blunt to you, lighting it whilst it's in between your lips and you take a long drag from it, entering through your lungs before exhaling into the air, the familiar feeling hit's you as your body relax's and your eyes droop slightly. You pass the blunt to Abby who mimics your actions as you see the veins in her hand pop out.
Your both sat in silence whilst taking turns hitting the blunt before abby speaks up,
"Shit...been a long time since I've hit a blunt" abby admits as she passes it back, "Really how long"
"Been about a month" you look at her, "Shit how come" taking in a drag once more, "I never really got the time to business been busy lately"
"Oh so you only sell to college students or you're just selling when you can" you ask, rolling the window down to allow the smoke to leave through the little crack. "A bit a both I just sell when I can" she pauses looking at you, "So how long you known Ellie for"
"Since high school she's one of my closest friends, trust that girl with my life"
"Surprised Ellie didn't tell me she had such a pretty friend" you looked at her, realising Abby Anderson had just called you pretty, you were at the point were your high as fuck, your eyes were a tinted red and your breathing increased slowly, the feeling of your panties getting soaked was prominent
You were desperately getting horny and your attraction to Abby didn't help in your situation but make you wetter, the sexual tension in the car was high as you both feel silent, nothing only but the music playing in the background, abby watches the way you lick your lips before making her move.
It's slow and sensual, her hand laying gently across your jaw as your hand goes to grip her hair, the blunt long gone from your hand. You gasp as her hand slides into your panties and you feel her smirk against your lips at the wet mess you created.
"So fucking wet for me princess" she groans, your whimper's muted by the music as she slides her fingers in between your folds.
She takes her fingers out, placing them into her mouth. "It's always the pretty ones with the best tasting pussy" she mutters, sucking every last bit off her fingers.
"Please" you plead, grinding into her hand, her lips quirk up as she pulls her fingers out of her mouth with a plop. "Please what baby"
"Please fuck me" her hand grips your thigh as the once soft blue eyes you had fawn over had been replaced with darkened ones, "With what"
"Your fingers'" you plead, your legs opening slightly as her fingers tread carefully towards your aching cunt.
"Lay your seat down princess" she orders and you quickly go to pull down the latch beside you allowing abby to climb over to your side carefully watching you as she pulls your panties to the side, revealing your wet cunt.
"So pretty for me mama" she latches her lips onto your aching clit, you gasp slightly leaning back into the seat, her tongue slowly licks every crevice and every spot with care and your hand snakes up into her dark blonde hair.
The filthy wet sounds from your pussy, bounced off the car walls as she sucked on your clit, the dirty moans from abby's mouth vibrating against your cunt, "Oooooh fuck" you moan, the elongated fuck coming from your mouth as you briefly make eye contact with Abby. "Your make such pretty sounds baby let's see how much louder you can get for me"
You gasp as she slips two fingers in with her mouth still attached to your cunt, fingering that spongy spot with every harsh thrust of her fingers at a rapid pace, sucking and slurping on your juices as she hollows her mouth around your clit, your juices dripping down abby's face. You grind your hips into her fingers, your eyes rolling back and jaw slacking with every movement letting your eyes fall back onto hers.
Strands were sticking to her forehead, the glimpses of her pretty freckles covered in your juices made her look even prettier than before and her muscular arms forcing your legs open making it impossible to shut them. "Look at you grinding your pussy into my face like a helpless slut, is it good hmm"
She whispers, watching the way your legs began to buckle under her grip, the way you got so fucking pussy drunk from it soaked her boxers. "it feel's so fucking good abby..." you scream, your legs threatening to close on her face, abby could just suffocate in your pussy at the sweet taste, you were so addictive that she could go down on you for fucking hours.
"I knew you liked this shit hmm...did you dress like this knowing you were going to get fucked stupid" you go silent for a second feeling an orgasm building up as abby goes to slap your pussy, "I know you can fucking talk slut... tell me"
"y...yes- fuck- I did" she grins continuing her pace, "nasty bitch" those words alone managed to make you squirt all over her face, the juices splattering on the seat and dashboard as your eyes rolled deep into your head, the grip on her hair tighter than before as she continues to eat you out, "made such a mess baby didn't know you were a squirter"
"wait- abs mhmm.... please stop" you beg, the sensitivity of your clit, making you shake as she continues til your licked clean. satisfied she comes up, face covered in your juices bringing you into a kiss allowing you to taste yourself.
"Same place next week" she offers and you smile giving her another kiss, "sure abs".
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marigoldenblooms · 1 month
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That's a Wrap - One Shot
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Pairing: Director!Natasha x Fem!Actor!Reader x Actor!Wanda (MINORS DNI - 18+)
Summary: You and Wanda can’t seem to get this scene right. With your director’s help, you manage.
MINORS DNI - 18+
Tags: Is Y/N in the room with us right now (They aren’t), Dom!Natasha, Switch!Wanda, Bottom!Reader. Dub-con, power dynamic (Director/Actor), voyeurism, degradation, praise, semi-public sex, semi-orgasm denial, light edging, objectification, oral (W receiving), fingering (R receiving), strap-on use(R receiving), some pet names (baby, sweetheart, darling, ma’am, Tasha(For N), Wan/Wands(For W), Mommy(For W, used loosely)), Nat calls her strap her dick, semi-previous established relationship? Porn with plot, clothed sex, sextape, light aftercare, fluff at the end. 
A/N: Welcome to the first issue of Smut Saturdays! Want to really create some good shit in this genre, so I'm posting at least one spicy fic every Saturday (if I can help it)! This came to me in a vision (called the five minutes before my math class)- After my last smut fic did well (An Important Lesson, Prof!Wanda x Reader, which you can read here), I thought I’d do some WandaNat practice! Not proofread, written in the span of an evening. This is a crime against intimacy coordinators, I’m so sorry. Asides over. Natasha wears a strap to her films and she can dick me down with it, please and thank you!
Word Count: 2.4k - Read Length: 8 minutes, 49 seconds.
~~~
It was never fun when the producers came by. 
They’d always arrive in droves of two or three, never the top dog- as if Natasha’s ‘avant-garde chick flick’, as they called it, wasn’t worth their time. They certainly treated it as much. Today was the worst day for them to arrive, in pressed jackets and always on a phone call, because today you were filming the sex scene. It was more of a ‘romance’ scene, with alluring cinematography and enough passion to make your eyes fall out, yet you hadn’t even gotten to remove any clothes from your beautiful costar- Wanda. You knew she was incredible, her previous films as a fem fatale showing her dominant streak, however the spark couldn’t burn when interruptions from the suits kept happening. You weren’t on a porn set, and yet sometimes you wish you were. Might’ve been faster, or at least more fun. 
“From the top,” A groveled voice muttered, Natasha’s steely gaze breaking into your skull-  though a part of you wished she’d break your back. The redhead had always been an inspiration, one of the leading reasons for your participation in her project, besides her being so fine. But now, she looked pissed, worn down by hours of appeasing the producer’s half-baked suggestions and guarding you and Wanda from their prying eyes. “Yes Ma’am,” you replied, earning a slight chuckle from your director, the twinkle in her eye not lost on you- she was on her last legs, but it was yours and Wanda’s compliance that kept her going.
You’d return to your blocking, centered in the middle of your ‘apartment bedroom’, with Wanda’s hand placed gently on your waist. Your roles were lovers, reuniting after a long day of hardship, slowing down after it all. You’d stare up at her, the mild exasperation in your expression making her smile. She’d send a wink down to you, muttering something about being ‘bored too’, but ‘not hating kissing you again’, or the like. She’d invited you out to coffee tonight, and especially after a day like this, you’d take it. Perhaps you’d even forget the paparazzi and really kiss her as you’d been wanting to do this whole shoot. Throw a bone to the fanfiction writers and make their canon comply with reality. Maybe. It was Natasha’s words which startled you from your thoughts, a look of tenderness overcoming your face as you’d sink into your character, “Action!” 
Within an instant, Wanda hiked her hands under the hem of your shirt, eyes darting down to your face. Her palms were warm against you, smooth against your soft skin, as your head rested gently on her shoulder. She’d tug at the fabric- and you’d send her a quick nod, smiling as you’d lean up to capture her lips in yours-
 “Well that’s not very marketable!” A producer would crow, scoffing with both his hands outstretched towards the two of you. You’d freeze, feeling all of the passion drain out from the scene, no more than a shell of itself. His bald head wasn’t very marketable, looking like a morally dubious Mr. Clean- and yet you didn’t comment on it. He’d look at Natasha, the woman pinching the bridge of her nose with a stern sigh, and you gulped. Oh, shit. She was going to lose it. “Can’t you get their clothes off faster? Our focus groups won’t wait around for-”
“Fucking Christ, get- out!” Natasha shouted, a growl in her tone bringing heat to your face. She scowled, roaring to the surrounding suits, “Leave, get off my set- it’s my fucking turn to direct them.” Her hands would fan away their deer-in-headlights looks, ushering them out before locking the door. Her fiery gaze would bore into you then, jaw locked as her heels would click towards you and Wanda, many feet apart. 
The two shared a knowing nod- And before you could speak, your director grabbed Wanda by her shirt collar and pulled her into a bruising kiss. Your jaw would drop as the brunette’s eyes widened, fluttering shut as Wanda moaned into the embrace- Natasha’s hands planted firmly on her tits. She’d squeeze them, earning a gasp from Wanda, your costar’s head swung back as Natasha swiped her thumbs across her nipples. Your director’s gaze would strike yours, and you understood why Wanda’s submission was so quick. You shuddered at the redhead’s gleaming smirk, her voice a husked whisper, “Get those clothes off and get on the bed for me, baby. Now.” 
“Yes, Ma’am.” Your reply was instant, Natasha’s grin only widening as you’d shed your layers, kneeling on the mattress’s soft sheets. They were cold, goosebumps settling up your spine yet you wouldn’t move, eyes trained obediently on Natasha. You were so perfect for her. 
Natasha’s mouth would return to Wanda’s, pressing her into the faux wall that had outlined the bedroom. Her hand would splay against Wanda’s stomach, and you saw how she hiked up the shirt there, continuing to palm her tits while unclasping Wanda’s bra with the other. She’d pepper kisses across the brunette’s neck, sucking hickeys the lower she’d go. 
They’d part only so Wanda’s top could come completely off, your director keeping a claiming touch on Wanda’s hip as she’d look back at you over her shoulder. Her hair was wild, mused from Wanda’s hands slung loosely around her shoulders while her expression remained flushed, dark eyes darting down to the slick that pooled between your legs. Wanda’s voice would ring to you, almost reverent as her hips would stutter against Natasha’s, “She’s fucking drooling for us, Tasha..” 
The redhead would bite back a smirk as she’d watch you twitch. You ached to touch them, yourself, anything- your hands already balled into fists on your thighs, legs rubbing together, desperate for friction. But neither had given the command, and you had an inkling from their hungry looks that they wanted you needy, right where they had you. Natasha’s rasp came second, “Then show her what I taught you.”
Wanda would reach you first, discarding the rest of her clothes in the process. Her hands trailed warm touches up your legs and to your chest, digging into your soft flesh as her lips would meet yours. It was explosive, sweet and tender yet with a ferocity that claimed you quickly, heating up your skin as her knee would slot between your thighs. You’d feel Natasha’s calloused fingers on the small of your back, the sinking of her weight in the mattress behind you, and her tone husked in your ear, “Stretch her out for me, Wan- like we practiced.” Your director’s words sent a buzz to your core, cunt grinding mercilessly into the sheets below as Wanda’s hand would trail there, dragging two fingers along your folds before arcing dazzling circles around your clit. 
You’d eagerly press your hips into her touch, moaning lowly as she’d chuckle, “So wet for me, sweetheart…bet I can just slip right in.” She’d coax her fingers inside, your pussy walls taking her gladly as Wanda curled her digits against that spongy spot. Your back would arch, head growing fuzzy as you’d feel your slick drip down her hand. Her thumb would press into your clit as you’d buck your hips against her, cursing a quick “Fuck-” which was quickly swallowed up by Wanda’s mouth. She’d bite your lip, dragging it with her teeth as she’d settle into her rhythm, spare hand palming your tits with a rougher grasp, “Been waiting for this, haven’t you sweetheart- pretty whore, just for us.”
 “Mhm, good girl just wants to be fucked, don’t you?” Natasha would grit, and you could see her stroking something behind your back. She’d unzipped her slacks- her strap heavy in her hand, glistening with the spit she’d gathered in her palm. Natasha bucked her hips against her hold, cursing as the cock’s base would rub against her clit. She looked incredible, sweat across her brow as her hand would clench around the toy, like she could feel it. “Keep going, Wands- want her perfect for my dick.”
 Natasha would pant, breathing ragged as her hand moved in time with Wanda’s fingers- curling into you almost torturously, feeling your cunt clench around her. The brunette’s kiss would claim you again, moaning into her warmth as her thumb would circle your clit. She’d sigh almost lovingly, fondness overtaking her expression as your head found the crook of her neck, “She’s already perfect, Tasha-” She’d coo, although her hand wouldn’t stop, gasping at the squelching sound of her fingers up your cunt, “This pussy was made for us, darling.” 
Their words and touch brought you so close, yet Wanda’s hands slowed down when she felt your legs quiver or your breathing seize up, never giving you what you needed. You’d squirm against Wanda, begging for more, a lingering touch, anything-  “Please, Wan- I‘m so close,” You whined, earning a tut from your costar. She’d devour your pleas, lost to time as her mouth would reach yours, softer than before. You felt her sympathetic smile against you as she’d shake her head, locking eyes with Natasha’s heavy stare, “Not yet, sweetheart..It’s not my turn anymore.”
The redhead groaned when Wanda slid her fingers out of you, her fingers shimmering with your arousal. Your walls fluttered around nothing, aching for anyone’s touch as you felt Natasha’s rugged grasp on your hips, pulling you up and back so your pelvis was against hers. The strap had warmed in her hand, dragging between your legs. You were dripping for her, soft sparks of pleasure seizing you as her tip would brush against your clit. Her voice would thunder through you, almost delirious with her own need, “Fucking finally..want this pussy all to myself…” 
Wanda would chuckle at that, your director kneading at your hips as Wanda’s thighs settled in front of your mouth, your arms propping yourself just above her soaked cunt. “We promised to share, Tasha..” She’d croon, face flushed and touch softer than Natasha’s as she’d cradle your face in her palms, “Such a pretty girl..are you ready for your reward, darling?” You nodded, a flurry of sensation hitting you all at once- Natasha’s strap sinking into you as the redhead would push your shoulder blades down, pressing your face between Wanda’s legs. 
The stretch was incredible, the woman behind you vicious as she’d drive her dick into you, bottoming out as your mouth would be smothered against Wanda’s cunt. Each thrust would drive Wanda crazy, your gasps and whimpers vibrating right into her core, especially as you’d flat your tongue against her clit, suckling on the sensitive nub. Her thighs would threaten to shut on you, her stretched words lost in your pussydrunk haze, “Yes, like that sweetheart- such a good girl..-” Natasha would rock her hips into yours, pace bruising as she’d pull your thighs flush to hers. You’d hear her muffled curses as she’d bottom out again, sighing as if she could feel you clench around her. “Baby..fuck, so perfect for us…” Wanda’s hands would thread into your hair, anchoring her hold on you as she’d press your face further into her cunt. 
The sight would echo a curse from Natasha’s mouth, her hips growing a little more erratic, “Fucking christ, she’s our perfect little whore, aren’t you baby-” You’d try to nod, moaning as Natasha’s hand would press further into your back, keeping you from moving an inch, “Don’t even think, baby- just fucking take it, fuck-” 
Time would seem to slow, your brain fuzzing into blissful static as you’d feel Wanda’s thighs tremor around your head, her grip tightening as she’d see your body tremble in Natasha’s touch. “Come with me, sweetheart- be a good girl and come for Mommy.” Her saccharine words spurred you into a blinding release, your tongue working Wanda through her orgasm as your body quaked with your own. You’d feel Natasha follow shortly thereafter, cursing aloud as she’d pull herself out of you, watching as you’d clench around nothing. Her hands would immediately find your waist, bringing you gently up to kneel with your back against her clothed front. 
Panting, your arms would shake as you’d catch your breath, leaning up to wipe your mouth with the back of your hand. You could feel both women’s eyes on you as you’d suckle on your fingers, cleaning up with an exaggerated moan, looking towards Wanda as you’d pop your hand out of your mouth, your words almost dreamy, “Mmm, so good, Wan..” You’d giggle as Wanda’s face would alight in blush, although the clink of metal and fabric drove you away from your teasing.
Natasha’s hands would be rushed as she’d pull her pants and harness down, eyes heavy with a lust that made you shudder, “Switch with me, Wands-” She’d grit, thrusting the strap in her general direction before settling calloused palms on your still quivering thighs, her gaze boring into yours, “It’s my turn for her mouth.” 
Wanda’s smirk was immediate, sending you another sly wink, “Gladly.” 
------------------------------------------
Unbeknownst to the three of you, the cameras had never stopped rolling. That film would never be seen by the public, kept hidden once you left the building. Not to say it couldn't be enjoyed by you three, though.
Natasha and Wanda took you out to coffee afterwards as the brunette had promised. They explained their prior agreement to ‘test the waters’ with you, Wanda working with Natasha on a plan to woo you both in and out of character. The date went well, although with much less lingering glances and more almost-fucking in the back of Wanda’s car afterwards. It was there that the public and paparazzi learned of your relationship, although their camera flash thankfully stopped any romance before it got good. You weren’t on a porn set, after all- and Wanda kept your half-nude form hidden while Natasha cursed out the press. All in a day’s work. 
Unfortunately, the day’s work began anew the next day. Filming the romance scene was no difficult measure now, but Natasha’s grin and Wanda’s wandering hands blurred the lines of professionalism. The film crew couldn’t care less, a few of them- such as Kate, a script supervisor- mentioned how they knew it would happen eventually (and won a bet with Peter, who said it’d take until the award show for you three to get together). 
However, once you three escaped into Natasha’s office for some ‘paperwork’ as she’d called it, it didn’t matter. They were yours, and that was enough.  ~~~
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loveronlineee · 2 years
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Doodles and Dates (Eddie Munson x Reader)
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Masterlist
Eddie Munson x Artist! Reader (She/Her)
Warnings: None
Synopsis: Eddie has fallen for the quiet girl he sits next to in class who’s always drawing.
Y/N notes: none
Wanna be on the Eddie Munson tag list? Look here!
Wanna request something? Look here!
For the first time in his life, Eddie Munson looked forward to his math classes. Not because he suddenly found a passion for numbers, but because this year he had been sat next to Y/N L/N.
A girl he knew virtually nothing about before the year started. They had shared one other class the entire time they were at school together, where they sat on opposite sides of the room. It was a history help out class for all grades that was filled with a mix of over achievers and kids who were failing. Eddie had made the assumption that Y/N was an A+ student as her nose was always in her notebook, taking notes.
But she wasn’t making notes, she was in fact drawing. Scribbling furiously, continuously, in her book. It seemed like she was in a world of her own creation most of the time. This is something Eddie discovered at the beginning of this year.
The good thing about people who were always in their own world, they’re much less likely to catch you staring at them. Which Eddie did a lot. Every chance he could get.
Today was no different. Class had just started and Y/N was already scribbling away. Her art could be anything from detailed life drawing to tiny hearts. Today seemed to be space themed, the page contained planets and stars scattered around. Eddie smiled as he watched the page get filled.
“Eddie? Are you paying attention?” Mrs. O’Donnell called out to the back of the class.
“Not at all.” He grinned at her.
“Pay. Attention.”
“You got it.” Eddie winked before looking back at Y/N. She was on the last page of her notebook, and it was full. The girl stared at the page before sighing and closing the book. Eddie watched as she pushed it to the side in favour of actually listening to the teacher for once.
Eddie looked back down at his own half of the desk, not sure on what to do. It’s not like he had brought any paper to class. He was lucky he had found a chewed up pencil in his jean pocket. The metal head picked at the sleeve of his Hellfire shirt before rolling it up to his elbow. He presented his forearm to the girl, keeping his eyes looking forward, being too nervous to look at her.
Y/N frowned in confusion at the action. The two had never said a word to each other so it was a weird move to randomly put his arm on her side of the desk. Then she realised what he was doing. She looked up at him, making eye contact for a split second as his eyes darted over to her then back to the front.
A small smile appearing on her face as she placed one hand on Eddie’s wrist. She pulled him a little closer to her before picking up her pen and beginning to draw it softly across his skin.
It tickled a little but nothing Eddie couldn’t ignore in favour of letting Y/N have a place to draw. He watched as she continued on with the space theme, drawing a little alien dude throwing up a peace sign. Doodling stars all around, she quickly ran out of empty parts. Eddie didn’t move, curious of what she’d do.
Y/N danced her pen around in the air before taking her free hand and holding Eddie’s. He was taken a little aback but remained cool, watching as she turned his arm so that the blank side was facing up. Her eyes widened at the sight of his bats tattoo. Eddie could see the spark of inspiration in Y/N’s eyes as she began scribbling again.
Soon a haunted house appeared on his arm, the bats flying around the rooftops. Eddie couldn’t help the corners of his mouth turning up again. He loved how her brain worked. How she could look at something and create a whole story around it. She added some gravestones at the front of the house before putting the lid on her pen and looking back to the front. He read the names on the stones, recognising them as the names of their teachers, Mrs. O’Donnell being one of them.
Eddie couldn’t help but laugh, head tilting back in his chair. Y/N tried to suppress her own laughter, instead looking straight down at her desk. The other students turned to them.
“Eddie Munson!” The teacher called out. “Do you have something you’d like to share with the class?” She asked, annoyed.
“No ma’am.” He replied with a smile, sitting up straight again. His eyes darted over to Y/N who was still looking down at her desk trying not to make any noise. “I am gravely sorry for the disturbance.”
As soon as the word gravely left Eddie’s lips, Y/N was gone. She burst out laughing, hiding her face in her hands. The class looked at her with shock.
“Y/N! Do you have something to say?” Mrs. O’Donnell asked, surprised to find that she was a part of the problem. The girl shook her head, coughing to compose herself.
“No miss.” A little smile still on her face. The teacher quirked an eyebrow at her. Y/N’s smile dropped. “I’m dead serious.” That’s when Eddie’s laughter started back up. The class stared at them in shock and confusion. They had never seen someone outside his cult club get along with Eddie, let alone this well.
The bell rang, saving the pair from getting in any actual trouble. The teacher huffed.
“Y/N, stay behind. Eddie you better not be out in that hallway when I’m done talking to her.”
“Wh- but-“
“No buts! Straight to the lunch hall.” She pointed at the door. Eddie sighed and left the class with everyone else, looking back at Y/N one last time. She grinned at him making Eddie relieved that she wasn’t mad. He’d never seen Y/N get in trouble and he was wondering how she’d react. He made his way to his table and sat down.
“Good afternoon gentlemen.” The boys looked up at him.
“You’re in a good mood.” Mike commented.
“I just had a lovely math class.” The boys frowned in confusion.
“You hate math.” Dustin stated. “You hate every class.”
“Well something good came from this one.” Eddie jumped up on the table, stretching a hand to the sky dramatically. “A beautiful angel, hands blessed with the gift to create, saved me from boredom.”
“Is this that chick who sits next to you and draws all the time?” Mike questioned, having heard about her an annoying amount from the senior.
“So you finally talked to her?” Dustin asked as Eddie sat back down.
“Uh well technically… no.” They did not in fact speak directly to each other the entire class. Either interacting without words or talking to the teacher instead. “But check this out.”
Eddie rolled up his sleeve to show the haunted house. The table looked in awe.
“Woah sick!”
“You weren’t kidding when you said she could draw.”
“Hey.” The boys looked up to see Y/N standing to Eddie’s right. He immediately stood up and fixed himself. Y/N L/N had finally spoken to him.
Hey.
“H-Hey. Hey.” Eddie managed to reply. He didn’t realise he was nervous until he opened his mouth. Ten minutes ago they were laughing together, now he was struggling to speak to her.
“So Mrs O’Donnell asked me to move seats… away from you.” Eddie’s heart dropped.
“Oh. Right. Yeah okay makes sense.” Eddie mumbled, looking down at the floor. “I guess I was being a bad influence on you you probably actually want to pass her class and not end up like me yeah okay-“
“I told her I didn’t want to.” Eddie looked back at her wide eyed. She was smiling.
“R-Really?”
“Yeah.” Eddie’s shoulders relaxed, his own smile reappearing. “But Mrs had one condition for me. If my grade starts slipping, I have to move. AND… you have to pass the next test.”
Eddie began processing everything she just said but Y/N opened her mouth again. “So I’m thinking… study date?”
“Date?” Eddie repeated the only word that registered in his brain. Y/N shrugged.
“We can just call it a session then-“
“No! No date is great i-it’s great I love that word. It’s definitely in my top five.” He babbled. Y/N giggled and nodded at him.
“Okay cool. Well I should go but give me a call and we can set something up.” Y/N handed Eddie a folded piece of paper and left the lunch hall. He looked down at it, knowing that this wasn’t paper from the notebook he knew.
He unfolded it to find a drawing of himself. A side profile where he’s sitting at a desk. He recognised that desk. The ones from the history help out classes last year. The class he shared with Y/N where they sat on opposite sides of the classroom.
She had added her phone number to the bottom of the page, a little heart next to it.
Eddie stared at the page, holding it like it was pure gold.
He had never been so excited to study.
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kuiinncedes · 2 years
Text
is there no more emoji confetti when u submit on canvas 😭😭😭😭
#genuinely terrible news idk what they fucking did to canvas over the summer but everything i've seen that seems updated is bad lol#/hj it's not that bad it's just like when i was trying to move my classes around on the dashboard u can't drag them anymore u have to clic#move to top or whatever and even then at leaast for me it wouldn't even do it right away idk#anyway i never liked canvas that much and well it's not growing on me bc it got worse XD#also this assignment i can't tell if i'm just dumb and don't know how college works or if it rly is just vague af bc all the prof told us#was read and summarize this piece min 350 words double spaced and my dumb ass can't tell if we're supposed to like#cite things???? cite the thing we're summarizing?????? have i never summarized shit in college before why am i#anyway i just submitted it bc i was like ugh i'm done with this long ass dense ass reading it was rly interesting#but it was so long and hard to understand lmfao#also this prof uses nonbinary pronouns but idk which one it is in writing lol idk if it's xe/xyr or ze/zir?? are they pronounced the same#lemme look into that real quick before i talk about my prof again lol#i have another nonbinary prof tho idk why that made me rly happy to see :'')#they came into class w a full length rainbow skirt and a shirt that said something on it i couldn't read it but it was also rainbow block#letters lol they also seem rly young but they're a rly good lecturer#like even after only one lecture but like they were rly making everything sound interesting#in discrete math lol but like they were making me interested XD#like bc they were very clearly interested and passionate about it yo we love a good prof lol#my other math prof for my probability class is . less interesting but he's not ... that bad yet lol im not the biggest fan tho 🤪#he kinda mumbles ngl and his teaching style is kinda annoying sometimes lol but . we'll see :P#also my fourth class since we're just going thru it all lmao the postdoc teachign it (is he a prof idk what to call anyone lmfao)#seems rly nice and chill i don't love his teaching style so far either lmfao but he seems nice lol#anyway is this just me making an excuse to ramble about all the things i've been thinking about the first few days of school XD ashdgjksdfh#it's been a lot i won't do All of that lmao#i keep procrastinating class with glowstick club things lmao 🤪 but i do have a lot of glowstick club things to do#anyway lemme shut up now XD i was pretty productive today tho :] it always does start out like that tho and then it all goes downhill#jeanne talks
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bth3cowboi · 1 month
Text
love conjeture, lh44 x reader
masterlist
pairing: lewis hamilton x mathematician!reader
summary: sometimes algorithms win championships, other times they help find love. (social media au)
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mercedesamgf1
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liked by yninmath, georgerussell63 and 879.301 others
mercedesamgf1 This year we want to give a special thank-you to Dr. Yn Ln! With the creation of her new algorithm focused on data analysis and her extensive collaboration this season our view in analytics evolved to unimaginable levels. We are forever grateful for her contributions and what they mean for the future of Formula 1. Thanks again Dr. Ln, and good luck with the thesis! 😎💻
tagged yninmath;
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yninmath thank you for the opportunity🫡💙 it was an honor to work alongside this great team
mercedesamgf1 👏💙
user1 omg work girlll!!
user2 just googled her and im going crazy like how do you have 3 phds at 27😭?
user3 graduated super early too shes kind of a genius lol
lewishamilton thank you miss yn💙
yninmath your welcome sir champion🥹
user4 ok this is cuteee
user5 you should be thanking him bffr
georgerussell63 Outstanding!🙌 Make sure to come back Dr. Yn
yninmath oh but the travelling😮‍💨
lewishamilton nah you’ll make it back
yninmath if you say so haha
yninmath
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yninmath currently picking up trash couches, writing thesis and remembering the friends ive made along the way 🤓💘
on a serious note, if anyone is interested in reading about topology feel free to read my new paper abt it (link in bio #influencer)
tagged bestfriend, roscoelovescoco;
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roscoelovescoco working’s hard🐾😵‍💫
yninmath or hardly working🤔
bestfriend surprised the couch didnt bring rats or something
yninmath no rats or fleas!!! its been a great couch #trashcouch #luckygirls
bestfriend please never use # again
user1 great paper dr yn😍 is there any way I could get your paper on the hodge conjeture for academical porpouses? magazines are too expensive, help a girl out🙏
yninmath dm me girl that should be free so make sure your class gets it too
user2 dr yn youre saving the nyu maths class of 25’🫡
lewishamilton no rest on break miss yn?
yninmath you know me already haha💞
user3 suspicious…
user4 what? they cant be just friends?
user5 I thought she worked for merecedes, what is this?
user6 she was only there to develop part of her thesis tho still won them another championship
liked by lewishamilton
f1paddockgossip
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f1paddockgossip BREAKING! Lewis Hamilton was caught while vacationing in France with mathematician and Mercedes’ collaborator Dr. Yn Ln. The pair are rumored to be in a months-long relationship already, starting in the middle of last season.
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user1 NOOOOO
user2 isnt she like way younger than him? weird
user3 shes literally a grown woman lol she can be with whoever she pleases
user4 no cause they actually look really cute🥹 so happy for them
user5 right! she seems super nice
user6 i just know that man is confused everytime she talks numbers lmao the curse of dating a stem girlie
lewishamilton
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liked by yninmath, f1 and 3.478.139 others
lewishamilton congrats on the finished thesis miss yn😉💙 love you
comments have been limited
yninmath love u and ty for the championship😘 would have failed otherwise
lewishamilton 😂😂
lewishamilton anything for my girl
yninmath 🥹
yninmath
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yninmath you best believe he sat on the #trashcouch #dearlordwhenigettoheaven
comments have been limited
bestfriend did it have fleas lewishamilton?
lewishamilton no but I was worried
yninmath booo tomatoes
bestfriend just buy a new one please
yninmath i believe in sustentability🫡🍃
lewishamilton there has to be a limit
lewishamilton ❤️❤️
yninmath love you sm
liked by lewishamilton
——
a/n: ty for reading and i hope you enjoyed🩷 maybe ill be writing more for different drivers soon, so if anyone is interesed keep that in mind!
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thatfandomslut · 1 month
Text
Not Into Guys
Regina George x Lesbian!Reader
Word Count: 1k
Trigger Warnings: Aaron Samuels (i'm joking, they're besties), underage drinking
Request:
Can I please request a fic where Regina is like “I know your secret you like Aaron” and super flirty reader is confused and like “Why would I like him when you’re here” and Regina is shocked and it’s super cute and they’re gay for each other!
Mean Girls requests are open.
This all started because of a rumor accidentally started by none other than Gretchen Wieners. "I heard her flirting with Aaron Samuels. She called him her boy toy." Gretchen informed Regina who crossed her arms, leaning back in her chair in thought. It wasn't hidden information that Regina George liked (Y/n). Regina thought they had a thing. Obviously, she was wrong if (Y/n) claimed Aaron to be her 'boy toy.' As she listened to Gretchen go on about everything she had heard, Regina's icy blue eyes landed on (Y/n) as she made her entrance into the classroom.
Typically, Regina had only kind things to say about (Y/n). Unfortunately, her entering with Aaron seemed to cause anything nice to leave her mind as she narrowed her eyes at them. She just couldn't understand why anyone in their right mind would choose Aaron over her. She was gorgeous, popular, and rich. However, Regina supposed that Aaron was kind and funny. People didn't usually associate Regina with those two attributes. Instead, they associated her with beautiful but mean. Which, was right, of course. Regina just hoped that wasn't something (Y/n) thought of her. She wanted (Y/n) to like her the way she did (Y/n).
"This class is kind of lame. I might leave before it starts," Regina interrupted Gretchen, hoping she would stop talking about (Y/n) and Aaron. If she had to hear any more information about them being together, she would either vomit or kill Gretchen. There was a possibility that both of those scenarios were likely, and she would commit both rather than either. Fortunately, the honey blonde beside her seemed to catch on, and she stopped talking about them. "It's not like I'm ever going to actually need geometry. I have people to do my math for me."
Karen nodded enthusiastically at the point that she made. Regina could easily ask Cady if she needed someone to look over floor plans. She was above math, she decided. Aaron had left once the bell rang, leaving (Y/n) by herself at her desk. A small, devilish smirk crossed Regina's lips as she stood up. "(Y/n), I was thinking about skipping class. Would you like to join us?" Regina questioned, and it didn't take a second thought for (Y/n) to accept the invite. Just like Regina, she didn't necessarily care for math. Instead, she would rather escape the confines of those four walls that held math puns and math memes due to the teacher trying to fit in. Karen and Gretchen were about to follow Regina out before she told them to stay. She had some things to talk to (Y/n) about. Specifically, things involving Aaron Samuels and why (Y/n) thought that Aaron was better than her.
Regina would never deny the fact that she was the jealous type. She had decided a long time ago that (Y/n) was going to be her girlfriend, Aaron wasn't going to ruin this plan with his boyish good looks or boy-next-door kindness. That was why Regina brought (Y/n) to the mall, to show off her money in an attempt to woo (Y/n). An attempt that failed as (Y/n) had to assure her over and over again that she didn't want anything Prada or Gucci. Regina was beginning to wonder how attached (Y/n) was to Aaron. If she couldn't convince her to date her over name-brand items, how was she going to convince her to date her at all?
"Okay, what's wrong, Regina?" (Y/n) questioned once they got to the food court. She was starting to grow concerned when Regina didn't comment on how badly styled the mannequins were like she usually did. She was starting to think that maybe it was something that she was doing wrong. If Regina would communicate with her, she would be able to accommodate and change whatever she was doing that was bothering Regina. "I feel like I've done something to upset you."
Regina realized she was beginning to let what Gretchen said about (Y/n) and Aaron get to her. However, instead of being able to keep it in, she was expressing it. A smile crossed her lips as she played it off. "Everything is fine, you did nothing wrong. Now that we're here, though, we can have girl talk." The two girls sat down, confusion bubbling (Y/n) at how quickly Regina changed her mood. "I know you're secret… You like Aaron Samuels." Regina stated confidently, looking down at (Y/n).
(Y/n), on the other hand, was only growing more confused. She wanted to laugh because of how confident Regina had said that. It was completely false. "Why would I have a crush on Aaron when you're here?" She questioned, crossing her arms as she looked up at Regina. It was unintentionally smooth. It caught Regina off guard as her cheeks began to heat up slightly at what she had said. "Aaron is my best friend, and I'm a lesbian." (Y/n) told Regina, wondering why she even thought she was remotely into him.
"Didn't you say he was your boy toy though? I've had great sources tell me this." Regina claimed. She sometimes needed to remind herself that Gretchen took information and ran with it. (Y/n) smiled a bit as shook her head. Leaning in, she kissed Regina, who reciprocated happily. She could hear her heart beating in her ear as she tried to keep herself from messing the kiss up by smiling at it. "Okay, okay, fine… You're not into Aaron."
(Y/n) laughed a bit at the comment before Regina pulled her back into a kiss. This time, she kissed deeper, not as nervous as the first time. Though, her heartbeat remained loud in her ears as they kissed. Regina couldn't care less if anyone was scowling, because all that mattered to her in that moment was how (Y/n)'s hands felt as they cupped her cheeks.
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bet-on-me-13 · 10 months
Text
Misunderstandings really really suck Pt.2
Edit: Part 1 link since it took me all day to find it again
Damian had a Rival.
Scratch that, Damian had a Nemesis in the form of a girl in his class by the name of Danielle Nightingale. Although she insisted she be called "Ellie" instead.
The trouble started on the first day of classes. Damain had just arrived at the Manor recently, and unfortunately his father had decided that he needed to go to School in order to keep up a Civilian charade. So, he had been sent to Gotham Metro Academy, a rather prestigious school that he could not give less of a fuck about. Why would he willingly subject himself to the borderline preschool teachings of a Civilian school when the League had taught him everything he needed to know years ago? Of course, that was his attitude before he met her.
Danielle was in the seat right next to him for most of his classes, and at first they had not interacted all that much. She had attempted a friendly greeting at first, but Damian had quickly shut her down in a rather rude way.
It wasn't until the next time they took a Science Test together that they really regarded one another. It was supposed to be a test to see where their education level was, but Damian had decided he would Ace the test and move onto some more interesting stuff.
He finished his test within a few minutes and got up to turn it in, at the same time Danielle did. He looked over at her and saw that she was just as surprised to see him getting up. Later on, they learned that they were the top 2 scorers in the class by a wide margin. Danielle had gotten a 100%, while Damian had gotten a 99%. She gave him a smug Smirk, and that was when he decided that he would best her no matter the cost.
From there they made every class a contest. Always on opposite sides for PE, always competing for the best scores on Tests, they even made getting to the cafeteria a race.
Damain found that he genuinely enjoyed competing with her, since she was the only one who could keep up. And they could never decide on a good winner. Danielle always beat him in Science Classes, but Damian was the better in the Math Classes, and somehow they always tied in PE no matter the sport they played.
And after a while, they began to talk with eachother about stuff aside from their little contests. He learned that she was going to the school on a Scholarship, which was why she always tried her best to excel in exams. He learned that her older brother owned a small Shop a few blocks from Park Row, which he used to provide for the both of them to live comfortably. He also learned that he enjoyed his conversations with her as much as he enjoyed competing with her, it was genuinely fun to just sit down and talk to her once in a while.
He finally decided that they had grown from Rivalry to full on Friendship about halfway through their first year of school together. He had found her backed into a corner by some snobby rich kids who didn't like that a "street rat" was getting better grades than them so often. To her credit, she was holding back her emotions much better than he would have.
When he tried to help her, they turned on him. They began mocking his status as a bastard child, calling his mother many horrible names, and even began to make racist remarks about his Arabic heritage. He didn't even get the chance to retort before one of the kids was on his back clutching his broken nose, Ellie standing next to him with her arm extended. The other one soon followed, this time by Damian's hand.
Of course the incident got them both detention, but from then on he knew she was his friend.
...
Damian began noticing something was off about Ellie about 1 year after meeting her. Her 12th birthday had just passed, and the new school year was just beginning, and for some reason she was much competitive than usual. She didn't seem to think he had noticed, but she hadn't tried this hard to beat him since they had first met. She wasn't talking to him as much, distancing her self more and more as the weeks went on.
It finally came to ahead during a game of Dodgeball in their PE class. She had been competing with him relentlessly, but even then she wasn't preforming up to her usual level. He could see she was tired, exhausted even, from such a simple exercise, sweat pouring from her skin in buckets. Which didn't make any sense, since he had seen her do much more intense things without breaking a sweat.
He also knew that she was a Metahuman, and therefore had more stamina than a normal person. (She had told him over the summer, after deciding that she trusted him with her biggest secret)
Before the game had even ended, he was asking her to just tell him what was wrong. She denied that anything was wrong, right up until she collapsed in the middle of the game, unconscious.
He had immediately rushed her to the Nurses Office, where she finally opened up about what had been disturbing her so much recently.
She was dying.
She had a genetic disease, linked back to her Meta-Human abilities, that was slowly killing her. And they were running out of the medication needed to treat it.
She took out what looked like an Epi-Pen and injected herself with the medication inside. Damain could instantly see the color come back to her skin, her muscles got less tense, and her breath became more steady.
"That was one of our remaining Doses", she explained, "This dose will last me about a month. We have enough left to last until December, but after that there won't be anymore left. It was only ever produced by a single pair of scientists out of state, and they died in a car accident a few years ago."
Damian is extremely worried, his best friend is dying and he doesn't know how to help. He tried to offer his dad's help, but she refuses.
"I'm a Metahuman, if a person as high profile as your dad stepped in to help, it would draw attention to me. And Gotham is way to dangerous for a known Metahuman to live, especially a 12 yr old one." She says, "And besides, my brother says he's working on replicating it. I trust him, and he's been researching it relentlessly."
It takes a while, but Damian agrees to let her take care of this.
Over the next few months, Damian and Ellie act as if everything is normal. From time to time they will talk about it, but they largely try to ignore it for the most part.
Sometimes Ellie will joke about it though.
"At my Funeral, make sure they don't lie. I was a fucking Goddess of Chaos and I won't have them defiling my name by spouting out that whole 'heaven has another angel' bullcrap."
"In my Will, I'm gonna set up a whole Indiana Jones Style Quest for you to follow before you can claim anything of mine. You gotta work for it."
"Don't worry, I won't haunt you after I die. I'll be too busy conquering the Afterlife to manage anything like that!"
"At my Funeral, I want you to make a speech that's just 'this is so sad. Alexa play despacito'. Nothing else, just that."
It goes on like this for months, and both of them have mostly accepted that their time together has a potential time limit, so they try to make the most out of it.
Damian even forces her to formally introduce her brother, an older guy named Danny, who is very enthusiastic to meet him. Apparently Ellie had trouble making friends in her last school, and he was just so happy she had found such a good friend in the last year.
They even invited him to visit whenever he wanted. Sometimes he would even stay the night, sleeping in Danny's room while Danny took the couch.
He even found the Lab, or makeshift lab, that Danny had made to try and find a way to replicate the Medicine for Ellie. Damian had to admit, Danny was a certified Genius, and he had Hope that Danny would find a way to save Ellie soon.
He asks for an explanation on the Medicine, and Danny explains it as "Ellie's powers draw on a type energy called Ecto, which helps keep her body stable. Unfortunately, she has a birth defect that means she can't absorb it faster than she uses it up naturally. What the Medicine does is bolster the amount she already has in her system to make it more potent and last longer."
He even shows Damian his notes, and at his insisting he begins teaching Damian about Ectoplasm and the science behind it all.
Damian begins coming over on the weekends to hang out with Ellie and check up on the progress of the Medicine. He tells the rest of his family that he just wants to get a little more comfortable in his Civilian Life, and is indulging in his urge to actually be a kid. (They still don't know about Ellie's situation, cause she asked him not to tell anyone.)
...
A few months later, Jason comes back from patrol and informs the rest of the team that he just found a Scienist creating a Super Soldier Serum in the middle of Gotham.
Unfortunately, Damian was staying over at Ellie's house for the weekend, and didn't get the memo.
2K notes · View notes
rrxnjun · 9 months
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where do broken hearts go? [lmk]
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you know what they say about past lovers that can remain just as friends - either they're still in love with each other, or they never were in the first place.
pairing: mark lee x fem! reader
genre: exes to lovers. angst, fluff.
wc: 12k (11.926)
warnings: mention of sex, weed and alcohol, heartbreak, swearing, park jihoon of treasure is one sassy bitch and also accidentally somehow the main character of this fanfic plz dont @ me, inconsistent writing style bc i took 3 months and 3 depressive episodes to finish this fic
playlist: where do broken hearts go - one direction / too good to say goodbye - bruno mars / everytime - ariana grande / closer - waterparks / tornado warnings - sabrina carpenter / survive the night - the boyz
a/n: hey do some of you still remember me..... AHAHA tell a friend to tell a friend rrxnjun is BACK! this fic isn't the ideal vision i had in my mind but we are working on not being so hard on ourselves with our writing so! here we are. i still kind of like it :,)
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When you walk up to your best friend’s apartment one day with a tub of ice cream under your arm and the biggest pout on your face, Park Jihoon makes a complete list of things you should do to get over your failed relationship with Mark Lee. And while you think your dear friend has some psychopathic tendencies sometimes, you’d say the list is actually pretty reasonable of him. 
There’s something about the five simple steps that makes you wonder if it’s really as easy as Jihoon makes it sound. And while you doubt it– because the pinging pain in your heart makes it seem like the heartbreak is truly going to kill you in a few minutes if you don’t do something about it– you give it a try, because come on… you’d do anything to not feel like this ever again.
Step one – cry it out.
“He was a cunt anyway,” Jihoon mutters as he steps into the living room with two spoons in his hands, throwing one of them to you– while almost managing to hit you in the middle of your forehead in the process, adding a concussion to the mix of problems you have going on right now– and you find yourself furrowing your brows at his hateful comment.
“Why’d you say that?”
“Well, as your best friend, I’m supposed to be on your side, no?” he says as he takes a seat on the sofa next to you, watching as you wrap one of the thick blankets you got for the male around your figure– you bought it mainly for yourself, because his apartment is cold as a freezer and you knew he wouldn’t buy one for you to use in the first place– and shrugs. “Besides, he broke your heart, and any male who does that is a cunt in my eyes.”
“I broke up with him,” you mourn, “so I broke my own heart,” you snicker, despair fully filling you up from the inside– fitting everywhere into your lungs and choking you up from how bad you truly feel. Now, this isn’t your first breakup– you’ve had your fair share of boyfriends in high school (in your baddie era, as Jihoon called it), but Choi Yeonjun from Maths class and Jung Woonyoung, the guy you dated for a total of 2 months over the summer break before he moved away, weren’t exactly boys you found yourself falling in love with. Sure, you liked them, you kissed them and went on dates with them– hell, you even hooked up with Yeonjun once before you realized the relationship truly wasn’t for you– but no one managed to cave into your heart just as much as Mark Lee, your first college boyfriend did.
“But you sure had a reason for it, come on!” Jihoon huffs, taking the tub of ice cream from your hands and opening it for you, since you’ve gotten quite weak from the lack of sleep and nutritions ever since the break up, hands clammy and not cooperating. “You don’t just break up with someone to break your own heart. He did that, that’s why you said goodbye to him,” he says before sitting the enormous tub of ice cream between your two bodies, nudging you to dig into the frozen delicacy.
“Yeah, but–”
“No buts, young lady. We are here to make you forget you ever even dated Mark Lee, so open up, eat the ice cream and focus your attention on Titanic so you can finally cry it out,” he says, and by the tone of his voice, you’d think he’s angry with you. Jihoon has this aura around him that makes you think he’s always at least a little annoyed at everything– but he told you to not mind it and that it’s just his sassy bitch attitude. 
He does have a point, though. You broke up with Mark because he broke your heart first– there was no other reason for it. If it was something minor, something small, you were sure you could work on it. You have, numerous of times before, brought up something and had a mature conversation about it– something you always so admired about Mark, being so cautious and understanding when navigating problems in the relationship– but when you bring up the same thing over and over, and it never gets fixed despite him telling you he’ll try harder next time, you think you’re allowed to feel a little heartbroken at his nonexistent efforts. And that’s exactly why you decided to quit the relationship– after a while, you felt like you were putting in more effort than he was, effectively making you feel like he’s not even that interested in dating you in the first place.
First, he just told you he was forgetful. He forgot he promised to pick you up from class one day– and you said that it’s okay, he is busy, after all– and it was the first time it happened, so you didn’t really mind that much, truly. Then, he forgot about the date you scheduled– but it was fine, because you didn’t have reservations anyway, you could change the day to any other day of the week, after all. He kept forgetting the stuff you told him in between the conversations you shared– and it was small things, you understand, but sometimes, you wondered if he was ever really listening to you at all. 
Forgetful soon turns not interested in your eyes, and when he doesn’t call you in the evening like he promised he would, when he doesn’t show up to the party you invited him to, because he forgot it was that day, you’re one step closer to calling it quits, because each and every one of these situations sends a sharp pain into your stomach. The last straw was just last week, though– and realistically, it was an important day, as much that you thought the day is somehow gonna fix everything, but the truth is somewhere completely else as Mark Lee forgets about your one year anniversary and never shows up at your doorstep for the dinner you prepared for the two of you like he promised he would. 
And it doesn’t click in him two days after either– you don’t even get a text. He got so forgetful over time that he forgot about you completely, and that’s when you took an uber to his place and broke up with him for good.
And even though the breakup was the most painful thing you’ve ever felt yourself go through, Jihoon is right– you’re not the one that broke your own heart. Mark Lee did that for you many times before, and this was just the breaking point.
“Fucking hell, you bought cookies and cream again?” Jihoon huffs when he takes another spoonful of the ice cream into his mouth, eyebrows furrowing at the sweet taste. Looking at him from the corner of your eye, you wipe your left cheek as you hum, immune to his nagging by now.
“You know I hate cookies and cream!”
“You know, Hoon, I bought this for myself. When you’re the one that’s heartbroken, we’ll share your favorite ice cream flavor instead,” you mumble, munching on the coldness on your tongue, sniffling a little when your eyes avert to the TV screen.
And after that, the teasing from your best friend’s side stops. Maybe it’s just because he hates to see you cry– and he rarely gets the chance, if you’re being honest, since you’re pretty good at handling your emotions– but you secretly know that it’s because when he looks back at the TV screen in front of the two of you, the sad part of the movie hasn’t even started yet and the tears are not the result of the movie, but of your own thoughts instead.
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Step two – give him back all of his stuff and the stuff he’s given you that reminds you of him. Demand that he does the same.
Now, step two was a thing most couples do when they break up. Realistically, it makes sense– you wouldn’t want stuff that’s not yours just laying around, and also, it’s just bound to remind you of the person you lost. Naturally, you’d want to return it.
“Why does he have to return my things as well?” you mutter under your breath as Jihoon helps you fold all Mark’s hoodies into a cardboard box, alongside with wrapping the little things your ex boyfriend made out of ceramic for you in tissue paper like you asked him to– even though he complained and said that it shouldn’t matter to you if they break, because you are the heartbroken one– but you held those little things too close to your heart to let them get damaged in the first place.
“Because that’s how it works,” Jihoon hums, watching as you throw another one of Mark’s shirts onto the top of his head, shielding his vision. “What, you don’t want your stuff back?”
“I mean…” you mumble, deeply considering of the fact that the thought of getting your stuff back didn’t even cross your mind until now, before you realize your favorite pair of socks is thrown somewhere in Mark’s drawers– the blue ones with peaches on them– and you suddenly have the revelation that while you don’t necessarily need the stuff back, you’d love to wear those socks again. “I guess…” you note as you walk over to Jihoon and take a glance into the full cardboard box, looking over the stuff and chewing on the inside of your cheek.
“It’s like witchcraft, y’know,” Jihoon points out, looking at you with fierce eyes mirroring the stupid idea that just flashed through his brain, “if you don’t exchange the things, a piece of you is still kept at his apartment and you won’t be able to move on.”
And again, Park Jihoon does have psychopathic tendencies, but he may be onto something here. So you listen to him as you nod along and close the cardboard box, ready to drive over to Mark Lee’s apartment and drop off the things you’ve collected from him for the past year. The box includes all of the clothes messily scattered across your drawers and your closet, the picture frame of you two together that you always had on your night stand, the ceramic bowls and a little tiger sculpture he made for you when he took a pottery class with his friend Renjun, and the lost guitar pics you found under your bed and at the very top of your bookshelf from when he used to bring his guitar along and play you songs on rainy afternoons. The only things of Mark’s that you kept were the love letter he gave you for your birthday and the USB with his cover of Justin Bieber’s Off my face on it that he shyly gifted to you on one of your dates; but you would never tell Jihoon that in fear of him getting rid of those most precious memories for you.
It’s good to let go, but you don’t think you’re wrong for wanting to keep something to remind you of the good times. The times you still felt loved by Mark.
“Off we go,” you say, standing up and bringing the box towards your front door, your best friend at your feet. He promised to drive you to Mark’s place– you think he’s worried about you meeting your ex-boyfriend face to face for the first time since the break up, but he said it’s because you’re too broke to Uber all the time, efficiently throwing all the considerate thoughts you were accrediting him out the window– and after a few minutes of the drive, you find yourself standing on the doorstep of Mark Lee's apartment.
Taking a deep breath in and out, almost chickening out with the flood of thoughts and excuses you could say to Jihoon when you come back to his car with the box still in your hands– sayings like “he wasn’t home” or “he didn’t want those back”, the latter stupider than the first– you decide to face your problems head-on and finally knock on the mahogany door, waiting for Mark to answer. And he does– of course he does, because he’s always home, and as his ex-girlfriend of one year, you're painfully aware of the fact– but when that happens, you feel your heart falling all the way down to your stomach, crushing you and suddenly making it hard for you to breathe. 
“Um… hi,” he greets you, voice a little groggy, as if he hasn’t spoken in a while– and when you meet his eyes, the deep chocolate orbs you always found yourself admiring and writing silent odes to in your head, you quickly glance away in fear of staring into them for too long and making decisions you wouldn’t like to make.
“Hi,” you awkwardly greet back, clearing your throat and moving a little in your place, shifting the weight from one foot to the other. You're surprised you're able to keep up with the conversation, thoughts running in your brain faster than you can comprehend them, heartbeat ringing in your ears from the unexpected anxiety. Maybe Jihoon was right and you should've taken a shot before coming here– at least you'd have more courage and social skills clearly needed for this kind of interaction. “I… brought you back your things,” you say, finally looking up at the male and chewing on your lips, letting out an awkward, tense laugh when he stares at you with an empty look, “figured you’d want them back,” you add, watching as the male opens his mouth and closes it in what seems to be shock before he presses his lips tightly together and nods at you.
“Uh, yeah,” he says, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly as he watches you clumsily hold up the cardboard box to him, ready to leave his stuff there with him and escape as fast as you can, not really minding how you'll get back to Jihoon's car– if jumping down the window of the entrance hall is the fastest option, you're ready to get to it. The truth is, everything is starting to get a little too hard to bear– his familiar scent filling your nose, the hoodie he wore to your first date enveloping his figure, his messy hair reminding you of the many times you brushed your fingers through it in attempts to smooth it down. It’s only been two weeks since you last saw him, but it was starting to feel as if you forgot about him already and were now relearning all the things you once fell in love with again, looking at him in the same light, yet noticing him and all the small details a little bit differently. “Thanks, I… I actually, uh… I have your stuff here too, so if you want it back I’ll– I can just–”
“Y-yeah,” you nod, almost a little too eagerly, “that would be… cool,” you say, trying hard to ignore the fact that he had your stuff packed too, intending to give it to you, and the crashing reality that comes with it, telling you he was prepared to do this before you were and how it’s making you feel kind of shitty.
Mark moves further into the apartment, the sound of him dropping the box to the floor filling your ears before he’s back at the door in no time, a similar cardboard box in his hands that he offers to you with a tense smile on his face. “Wanted to bring it around so I had an excuse to see you, but you, uh… beat me to it, I guess…” 
Looking at him as you take the box out of his hands, gaze as if to tell him not to say such words to you when you’re still so fragile to his effect, you only nod and mutter out a simple “Thanks,” before you turn on your heel and intend to take the stairs back down.
“I’ll… see you around, then?” Mark calls after you as you take the first step out– something about it making you feel like it’s the first step out of his life, in a way– and you only nod, because one, you truly don’t know how else to reply to this question, and two, you really, really don’t know if you’ll ever see him again, but you can't bring yourself to say it to his face. Somehow, it would feel like torture to admit it– and you're not prepared for that reality just yet.
Rushing outside and getting into Jihoon's car, you almost feel like you’re on the verge of breaking, and when the male asks you how it went as he’s reversing out of the parking lot, you only bid him a one-word reply before you look through the box on your way home, too impatient to stay back from the memories.
And Jihoon didn’t really think this one through, because the fact that you gave Mark back the things that reminded you of him meant that he did the same, and now all the things you brought along to Mark’s apartment were in the cardboard box, all stained with countless memories and feelings attached to each and every single thing. The artwork you made for him, the little heart-shaped keychain you gave him for his birthday, the plant you gave him that was now long dead and dried out– those were once your stuff, but all in this world with the intention of love being sent out through them to your now ex-lover, and the fact that they’re in your possession again instead of his is not making letting go of Mark any easier. 
And maybe Mark was right and he truly was forgetful, because as you rummage through the contains of the box, while you find out your favorite blue socks are nowhere to be seen, surely still buried somewhere in the drawers of his closet, obliterated out of his memory, there’s a gray hoodie sitting at the bottom and it’s surely not yours– it’s his and it was always your favorite, and you always used to wear it at his place when you got cold or when you just really wanted to smell his cologne, and you suddenly don't know if it's presence in the box slipped his mind or if he truly left it there on purpose. 
Couldn’t he forget about that too?
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Step three – block his number.
The third step comes into place after you accidentally slip out to Jihoon about the phone call you get on a Friday night– more like two hours into Saturday already– and now, most of all, you must admit that your best friend might be right about his advice.
Your phone starts ringing at 2:11 AM, and while you weren’t sleeping– you’ve been having some trouble with dozing off without being overbeared with thoughts lately– the name flashing on your screen shocks you for more reasons than one. 
Mark Lee calls you, three weeks after your breakup, in the middle of the night. You haven’t spoken since the time he gave you back your stuff, and even though you’ve done quite a bit of stalking on his social media, you have no news of him or his whereabouts. Naturally, a call from him in the middle of the night startles you and shakes you to the core. He has no reason to call you, so your brain does the math and concludes there must be an emergency– and god knows that even after being hurt by him, you could never ignore him and leave him hanging in a state of need.
So you pick up– with shaky hands and a raging heartbeat, expecting the worst. Listening to the other side of the line, you take a deep breath in and out, bracing yourself for the impact of the words you’re going to hear. The voice on the other side is laced with haziness and his tone is almost a little tired– worn out, even– when he finally greets you from wherever he is.
“Hi,” Mark says, and for a second, your heartbeat steadies itself and the world stops spinning– he sounds okay, and for a moment, you’re grateful to hear his voice.
Humming, as if to collect your thoughts, you clear your throat before you offer him an answer. “Hello,” you greet, “what’s- what’s up?”
“Just wanted to hear your voice,” he says, almost a little abruptly to your question. He doesn't overthink his answer and he doesn't give himself time to think if it's a good idea or not– he just blurts it out and now it's your problem to deal with, when it's there, out in the open. Your palms get sweaty and you start to lose feeling in your fingertips, making you take a few seconds to yourself to process the situation before you decide to finally answer to the strange sentence. 
“It’s late, Mark,” you mumble, and you involuntarily wonder if the sentence doesn’t have double meaning– it's too late for anyone to call at this hour, and at the same time, it’s been weeks since your ex boyfriend lost the privilege of listening to your voice when he can’t sleep in the middle of the night whenever he feels like it– and it’s now too late to do anything about it or make it any easier to deal with.
“Shit, sorry,” he chuckles to himself, and you suddenly recognise the laziness in his voice to be the effect of his and his best friend Hyuck’s Friday endeavors; the sweet coating of his voice being the effect of none other than the momentary bliss that comes with the relaxation of his body and mind when he's high. “Didn’t realize,” he concludes, making you shake your head at him in disbelief– not really mattering that he can’t see you in the act.
“‘s okay,” you mumble– and in your perfect reality, you hang up the phone now. In your perfect reality, you connect it to your charger and close your eyes, calling it a night. You fall asleep with no thoughts rummaging through your brain and wake up in the morning to a new sunny day, ready to take on the responsibilities of what’s to come, having productive days ended with smiles and a hot dinner you make for yourself just because you feel like it. In your perfect reality, you protect your own heart. This is not your perfect reality, though– and that’s why you stay on the line, listening to Mark ramble on the other side of the phone, intoxicated and slightly out of it. You wonder if he’ll remember calling you when he wakes up tomorrow. You wonder if he’ll regret it, or if he’ll just shrug his shoulders at the fact and go on with his day, not really paying you much thought when he’s sober.
“I was with Hyuck just now,” he says, and you hear the rustling of his sheets on the other side of the line, making you wonder if he’s washed up and ready for bed, “and– and I remembered how we all used to hang out together, y’know… you with us all– you always clicked with my friends and it was so cool and stuff… and I realized, right, they’re not as funny when you’re not around… but anyways… Jeno’s girlfriend asked about you, ‘cause she didn’t know…and telling her felt so silly, ‘cause they all kept looking at me and I knew they were pitying me, but it was my fault in the first place–”
“Mark–” 
“No, it’s true. And it’s cool, I don’t– I don’t blame you, or anything. I just… I dunno, I guess it got me wondering…”
The line goes silent on the other side, and you settle into your own bed, giving him time to continue. When he doesn’t say anything for a long time, you wonder if he’s fallen asleep.
“Mark?”
“Hm?”
“You still there?”
“Yeah. How was your day?” he asks, tone of voice casual as ever, as if he’s forgotten about all the words he’s told you up until now–  as if it’s not 2 AM and both of your hearts aren’t breaking at the sound of each other’s voice on the other side of the line.
“It… it was okay, I guess,” you say nonetheless, too hopeless to find a way to end the conversation before he does. 
“That’s good to hear,” he says, sighing, “that’s… awesome. You still taking those yoga classes on Mondays?” he asks, and you snicker to yourself– because what kind of question even is that? Who asks that on a late night call, when there are more important things you two need to talk about?
“Yeah,” you lie, still. You haven’t been since the breakup.
“That’s great. Wouldn’t want you to… y’know,” he laughs to himself, “be too sad over this… ‘t was for the better, after all.”
You hear yourself hum– the noise way more stable than your actual words ever could be– and you find yourself feeling silly in the conversation, lying to your ex boyfriend through your teeth; because at the end of the day, you don’t want him to worry about you– because it seems to be the case that he is. And it’s stupid, because he hurt you and you shouldn’t care, maybe you should’ve even show him that you’re heartbroken and that he is the reason behind your pain and the way your life is falling apart, bit by bit, but you don’t find it in you to be so cold and heartless. At the end of the day, you still care about Mark and there’s nothing you could do about it. Turns out that breaking up with him doesn’t magically make the feelings go away– and you knew that, but now you have proof.
“What were you saying before, by the way? You… trailed off at the end,” you say, reminding him of his previous words.
“Oh, that,” he snickers into the microphone again, a heavy sigh escaping his lips as he twists and turns in the sheets, “don’t worry about it. It was selfish of me.”
It was selfish of him to call in the first place. But you won’t tell him that.
“What was it?”
“It’s just… I was wondering if I lost you forever, y’know… if there was a chance we could ever…” he trails off again, but this time, you don’t bug him to complete it. You’re not stupid– you know the implication of his words. You’ve known him for a long time, after all– maybe you should’ve predicted this when you picked up the call.
“I mean…” you hum, “you didn’t lose me completely, if that’s– if that’s what’s keeping you up at night. We’re still friends, aren’t we?” you say, and in the corner of your brain, you can’t even believe the words yourself– but if it was selfish of him to call, you think it’s okay for you to selfishly fill both of you with empty promises, just for the sake of not breaking your heart even further.
“Yeah,” he mumbles, “that’s– …I’m glad.”
The line’s silent after that, and you wonder if you two have used up the list of words to say to each other this time, if there’s truly no other answer at the end of this conversation. When the situation gets too much for you to bear, the heaviness finally settling on your shoulders and your chest, you finally find the courage to sniffle out a quiet goodbye.
“Good night, Mark.”
“G’night,” he drags out, mind still cloudy. “Love you,” spills out from his tongue, like a bad habit.
He ends the call before you get to say it back. Maybe that’s for the better.
And the truth is, you should’ve really listened to Park Jihoon and blocked Mark’s number after this encounter. But you didn’t– you’re too weak for Mark’s sweet words, finding yourself still hanging on to his saccharine voice and the muffled ramble he has reserved for you only every time he gets high and loses all self-control before calling you on Friday nights selfishly demanding your attention, somehow falling for him like a teenager over and over again despite promising yourself you're gonna move on for real now.
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Step four – date someone new.
“So…” Jihoon starts one day, eyes glued to your skull like laser beams, the tone of his voice so incomprehensible you think he’s going to scold you for the actions of your previous days– even though you haven't told him about the midnight calls with Mark and so if he's not going through your phone, he has no way of knowing. Tense and nervous, still, knowing that the impact of his words could either heal you or cut you open like a knife– damn him for always being so brutally honest, no matter how soft his heart is for you– you smile at him with tight lips, crossing your arms on your chest in defense.
“So…?” 
A nervous laugh almost escapes your throat. If Jihoon wasn’t suspicious of you before, he surely is now– or he just finds you strange by the way he furrows his brows at you and scans you up and down, taking a second for himself before he sighs and seemingly decides to drop the weird way you’re acting right now, shaking his head and focusing on the task at hand.
“I was thinking… my friend asked about you,” he says, nonchalantly looking down onto his hands and taking the dirt out from behind his nails, as if it’s not a big deal and he doesn’t even care that much. “Choi Hyunsuk from Biology, you know him– shabby haircut, kinda short, failed the class so he has to retake it this year…?”
“I think you’re forgetting the fact that the two of us have completely different majors, Hoonie,” you sweetly smile at him with irony, making him roll his eyes with a sigh before he tries again.
“The guy who ripped his pants at Xiao Dejun’s party last year?”
“Oh, that one! You should’ve said that earlier, of course I remember Choi Hyunsuk from your Biology class,” you nod hurriedly, the gears finally clicking in your brain.
“As if I wasn’t talking about him for the last few minutes–”
“Okay, and what about him?” you cut him off, already tired of his annoying tangent.
“I said he asked about you.”
“I heard that already,” you nod, looking at him with expecting eyes. “And?”
Jihoon stares at you, unblinking, as if you fell on your head and he’s trying to comprehend if you’re still here with him or if you got a concussion and need to be transferred into a hospital. When the contact of his eyes on your skin gets a bit too uncomfortable– you swear his looks could actually kill someone, if he tried enough– you furrow your brows at him in confusion and shake your head in disbelief.
“Why are you staring at me like that, Park Jihoon?”
“Just tryna see if you’re really that stupid or if you’re just pretending,” he mutters under his nose before he sighs again– his favorite activity whenever you’re around, it seems– and speaks up again, tone of voice reminding you of a kindergartener teacher trying to explain why it gets dark in the evening to a bunch of 4 year olds. “You know, when people ask about you, they are usually interested in you, as in, my friend Hyunsuk didn’t ask because you’re nice, but because you’re hot, if you know what I'm getting onto.”
“Oh,” you get out, eyes wide in concern and a little shaken-up, “well, that’s… nice of him, I guess.”
Jihoon only hums at you before he looks around himself and brings out the bag of chips that he left open by his right side only a few seconds ago, not really speaking more about the topic. It’s either he’s waiting for you to get what he’s hinting at, or he’s just waiting for you to get even more confused and ask him about it in a few seconds again– either way, he’s not the one doing more talking right now, because conversations with you, the most oblivious person he’s ever seen, are never productive if he goes too fast.
Chewing on the chips, his eyes go wide when you finally open your mouth and talk more about the topic at hand– just like he predicted. “Why are you telling me this?”
Your best friend swallows before he places the bag of chips back to its original place and turns his whole body so he’s facing you, speaking up again. “I was thinking that maybe, just maybe, you’d like to hang out with him. Like a date, before you ask– because I know you’re gonna ask– and why? – because, again, I know you’re gonna ask– because I simply think you should try to date again to get your mind off the loser you broke up with two months ago,” he says, blunt and honest, answering all of your unsaid questions at once, and before you know it, he has you snickering and shaking your head in disapproval.
“Absolutely not,” you retort, waving your hands in the air to only further show your disagreement with the proposition, “that would just be a massive catastrophe.”
“Why? Hyunsuk’s nice.”
“I didn’t say he isn’t, it’s just…”
“Just?” he probes you, eyebrows raised and questioning.
“I… don’t know,” you nervously chew on the inside of your cheek, aimlessly shrugging. “I just don’t think it’s a good idea, Jihoon.”
“Because of Mark?” he asks, and the moment his name escapes your best friend’s mouth, the whole room goes strangely quiet– you feel your heartbeat in your throat, the tips of your fingers start tingling and you swear that if you concentrate hard enough, you could feel a bead of sweat drip down your forehead with the incoming stress and nerves only the mention of your ex boyfriend brings you.
“No, that’s not it–”
“Sure,” he nods, sighing to himself– and there it is again, the judging look you so despise.
“You can’t just expect me to date other people a few weeks after my break up, Jihoon,” you exclaim, “that– that wouldn’t even be fair to your friend. You know I wouldn’t be invested,” you explain, and your friend rolls his eyes in frustration, sighing to himself.
“Oh but I know that! And Hyunsuk does too,” he shakes his head at you, “just thought the company of someone else could take your mind off things.”
“I have you,” you try.
“Yeah, but all we do when we’re together is mope about Mark Lee,” Jihoon snickers, “and don’t get me wrong, I’m more than open to bitch about your ex boyfriend and as your best friend, I don’t mind, but the fact that you’d be hanging out with someone else could take your mind off him, because you wouldn’t feel comfortable talking about him with someone else, y’know?”
You shut your eyes closed, a heavy sigh heaving out of your body as you try hard to concentrate and not lose it, and with how Jihoon’s tone gets softer and he’s not as loud with his brutal, yet logical advice, he must feel you getting overwhelmed and accommodates to your needs. “Look, it’s gonna be fun. I promise. Hang out with someone new, feel wanted and hot and pretty again, get some male attention that’s not your ex boyfriend, and you’ll see how it makes you feel. If you hate it, you hate it and you can slap me, I don’t know... If you don’t, you can keep dating around with my friends, and I swear I’ll hook you up only with the nice ones,” he takes your hand into his and waves it around in comfort, making you open your eyes and look at him again.
Seeing the softness and encouragement in your best friend’s eyes, you sigh to yourself. All this time, he’s tried to help you– what if you finally follow his advice? Who knows, it might even help. 
Sighing, you squeeze his palm and hover over him to get the stranded bag of chips he’s guarding on the other side of the sofa. “Fine,” you mutter, “but let your friend know that he’s the one paying, okay?”
“Perfect. I'll text him your number, then.“
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And maybe Jihoon was right and after dolling yourself up and dressing up in your favorite dress just so you would feel as comfortable as possible, you don’t feel as bad when his friend Hyunsuk picks you up in his white Volvo and chats with you on the way to the restaurant. He makes good small talk and even gets a giggle out of you, the music in his car is low and you find yourself slowly easing into the situation. You don’t remember when the last time you went out with a guy that wasn’t Mark was, but it’s surprisingly nice. 
And Jihoon was right– you feel pretty. And when Hyunsuk opens the door for you after pulling up to the parking lot of the restaurant, you even feel wanted. You like the attention, just like any other girl would, and the smile you offer to your date seeps of tender shyness as you get out of the comfortable seat of his car. 
The illusion, though, is soon broken as you notice the restaurant he pulled up to. Your smile freezes, your palms get sweaty and you feel your heartbeat rummaging against your ribcage as soon as the idle atmosphere of the restaurant opens up before you. And realistically, you could turn on your heel and get back to the car, tell Hyunsuk that you want to go to another restaurant– but you don’t do it, against your biggest wishes, because you worry that the boy already made a reservation and you don’t want to ruin an evening that’s going well so far.
“Everything alright?” your date checks up on you, seemingly noticing the frown on your face, and when his worried eyes meet yours, it’s sealed– you’d feel too bad for pulling out of the date now. So you only do what you always do best– you put on your best relaxed smile and nod, catching up to him and ensuring him that you’re all okay and you didn’t just talk yourself out of an anxiety attack. 
Because you owe it to him and to Jihoon– both of them worked so hard to make you feel happy and help you to get over your ex boyfriend. It’s not Hyunsuk’s fault that he just managed to pick the restaurant your said ex boyfriend works at part-time. He had no way of knowing, and if you’re lucky enough, Mark wouldn’t be on today. He only works here part-time, it’s not like he’s here every day, and as far as you’re concerned, he only worked like two or three days a week when you dated. It would be a weird coincidence for him to be working the day you go there with your new date– you hope you’re not that unlucky.
Hyunsuk is a gentleman. Opening up doors for you, pulling out the chair for you, letting you talk and not interrupting you. He watches you with fond eyes and you almost try to feel bad for the fact that even if this ended well, the poor boy would just end up being a rebound. He deserves so much more, and you start to worry if this date was a good idea after all. Wasn’t it selfish of you to agree to this? 
“What do you want to get?” he asks as you open up the menu, and you squint at the prices, mentally taking a note to order the cheapest thing just in case he wants to pay for you at the end of the evening. 
“Spaghetti Bolognese,” you blurt out, despite it not being your favorite meal. Hyunsuk just stares at you with squinted eyes, but doesn’t disagree with you. After all, he has no way of knowing that you dislike the taste of the sauce in most restaurants– even though your conscience tells you that Mark knew that and always made sure to remind you about it before ordering for you, worried that you won’t get to eat much that evening– the only thing left to hope is that it tastes good in this particular place. 
“Okay, sure,” he nods and puts the menu down, smiling at you before engaging in a comfortable conversation with you. It feels like you’ve known Hyunsuk forever– his personality oddly reminding you of Jihoon’s caused mainly by the fact that the two have grown up together. Everything flows soundly, but you still find yourself anxiously picking at your cuticles as you cautiously look around the restaurant, fearing the fact that you could catch a glimpse of your ex boyfriend at any second.
And maybe you should be a psychic, because those bad feelings were not there for nothing– when you see a waiter walking out of the back and eyeing your table, ready to get your order, the boy is a few inches taller than your current date, raven hair messy, but still a little styled, dark circles under the man’s eyes, and there he is– your ex boyfriend. Mark Lee halts in his movements, wearing his work uniform, eyes wide, a hint of something that breaks you at least in two mirroring in his orbs before he turns on his heel and disappears in the back again. When he doesn’t come back and his co-worker joins you and Hyunsuk at your table with a warm smile, you stop waiting to see the glimpse of him you selfishly desired to catch despite fearing the interaction the whole evening.
You want to fall through the floor and disappear in the depths of this earth. For some reason, you feel mortified. What would he think? And why do you even care about his feelings? A million different thoughts run through your brain and you worry that you’re being too distant from your current date, but Hyunsuk’s warm eyes reassure you that he doesn’t mind. 
Piercing the food on your table with your eyes, you try to battle the noisy words running around your brain. 
It’s easy to say you’re over someone when you don’t see them. To have them in front of you, meet their gaze and acknowledge their existence and still be able to nod and say that you’ve moved on, is something completely different. 
Were you ever convinced that you were over Mark Lee in the first place, though?
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After all of this– the months of following Jihoon’s advice, although making a few mishaps along the way as you continue to pick up Mark’s calls on Friday nights, snoop around his socials and let your mind wander to places it shouldn’t, overthinking everything and making you wish the relationship never ended in the first place– it’s time for the last step of it all. The last, most crucial part of this whole moving on process– the most important one, if you may.
Step five – avoid him at all costs.
Sounds easy, right? After the four previous steps, you’d already cried plenty about the lost months with your ex-boyfriend. You’d already given him back all of his stuff, not tying yourself to him with any material memory. You’d already gone on a date with someone new, choosing to distract yourself instead of letting yourself feel the emotions. After all the previous steps, this one’s supposed to be the easiest one. The one you’re supposed to want to do, after all. The break-up wasn’t messy, but it was still painful– it’s only natural for you to not want to see Mark ever again, right?
Wrong.
Because you never listen to the advice you’re given. That just wouldn’t be you, would it?
And so when Mark Lee calls you one day and tells you that he has a free train ticket to the Bukhansan stop, explaining that he was supposed to go hike there with Donghyuck who canceled on him last minute because of an assignment due midnight, you don’t really hesitate much before you shoot him a short text saying that you’re down and get ready for the short hike. 
When you meet your ex boyfriend at the station, his figure slightly slouched up until the moment his eyes meet yours, you feel the quiet tension in the air. You’ve seen each other a few times before this meeting– on a party you went to with Jihoon, at the campus when you went to class one morning, your ex boyfriend walking you towards the Art building, hell, you’ve even met in the grocery store, all accidental and making your heart leap in your chest with tension. This time, though, you’re here completely intentionally, just to hang out with him, and something about the fact makes a dull pain shoot all through your intestines, a sensation so uncomfortable you try to hide with a tight-lipped smile. 
“Ready for the hike?” he asks, adjusting the bag on his back, playing with the straps with clammy fingers. You can’t help but notice how he looks just like a little boy, in his little world, shielded from everything. He seems to have taken a protective stance, and you hate how the air between you shifted from how you two used to be when you were dating. Mark seems scared. Nervous. On top of his feet. Maybe you shouldn’t have agreed to this at all.
You’re already here, though. Turning around and leaving wouldn’t really work right now, as you take a step towards the train that’s just arrived, humming to your ex boyfriend in agreement. Taking a seat on the place Mark’s pointed to you on the train ticket, you try to loosen up your muscles and get as comfortable as you can, clearing your mind as you gaze outside of the window.
“How have you been?” he asks, clearing his throat.
Pressing your lips into a tight line, you turn to him as you search for an answer. “Better,” you nod, voice quiet. “You?”
Mark hums, chewing the inside of his cheek. “Good, good,” he lies through his teeth, “I’ve seen you at the restaurant the other day,” he hints, and you battle the sigh that’s begging to cut out of your throat. You don’t know where he’s going with the sentence. It’s not a question– only a proposition, barely even that– and you could ignore it with a nod of your head, you could pay it no mind as you see the bitterness in his gaze and the slightly self-conscious averting of his stare. You don’t know where he’s going with the conversation, but frankly, you don’t know where you are going with your answer either, as you shrug to him in a casual manner and peep under your breath.
“Yeah,” you say, “that was just… Jihoon’s friend from uni, I suppose,” you complete, and the sentence hints at nothing– it doesn’t clear out the confusion, it doesn’t outright say anything that could make Mark believe that it was just a casual hang-out with a friend, but still, you see the boy visibly relax as he nods to you and offers you a tight-lipped smile.
“Oh,” he hums, looking out of the window, past the profile of your face. The change in topic is sudden and sharp, but also welcome as he falls into a casual conversation with you, and suddenly, you’re reminded by the Mark you once knew– the guy you’ve once called not socially awkward, but so social that it’s awkward– as he talks to you about his day and rambles on about the weather. “It’s good that it won’t rain today, I bet the view will be nice.”
Locking your gaze with him for a brief second, you lick your lips and point your eyes towards the ground. It’s good that it won’t rain today, as opposed to last time you two went to the Bukhansan trail. You wonder if he remembers.
Before you have a chance to mention it– and in all reality, you won’t, no matter how bold you could be feeling at the moment– the train comes to a stop at your station and you hop out of the carriage, ready for the hike.
It’s easy to forget how messed up things have gotten between the two of you when you walk alongside with your ex boyfriend, laughing at his silly jokes and gasping at everything he shows to you with a pointed finger, finding yourself admiring the sound of his giggle when he spots a squirrel pass your path somewhere near the top of the hill. The trail is almost empty at this hour, since the two of you have decided to go in the late afternoon, and you find your soul to finally be at peace after so many weeks, you finally feel relaxed in the nature, one with the wind and the gentle sound of birds chirping lullying your running thoughts to a rest. 
You realize that this is just what you needed all this time. You needed to get out and walk for some while, to tune out yourself and to accept the fact that you’re still here, for another day, and something about that is still a blessing. Watching the back of Mark’s head as he walks a step in front of you due to the narrowness of the trail in this area, you smile to yourself. It’s easy to forget just how much you were hurt by him when he heals your soul with such a simple gesture. It’s easy to forget you were hurt when he seemingly tries to put all the broken pieces back together, glue them to where they were in the first place, when things were easier and you both didn’t have so many things to worry about. 
You reach the top just as the sun starts setting over the horizon, and there are only a few people scattered across the peak, sitting on their own picnic blankets and gazing into the distance. The hues of the sky paint the world in a different color, the oranges, pinks and muted purples playing with your heartstrings as you come to a halt and crouch down and feel the presence of another soul mirror your actions only a meter away to your right, his gaze glued to your side. The view is beautiful, but the feeling of being watched isn’t ignorable anymore, and so you turn to your companion and raise your eyebrows at him, wondering if he has something to say.
You don’t know how you’ll be able to come back to your life after this and pretend you still don’t want to spend every passing second with the man on your right. You don’t know how you’re supposed to ignore the ever so growing love for him– even though after being so disappointed with the past, the feelings should be decreasing, not doing the opposite– and frankly, you don’t even want to think of going back to the way it’s been for the past few months. And so you don’t– you allow yourself to indulge the moment, to ignore the pain that’s about to come, just so you could hold another beautiful memory to your heart and enjoy the moment before it hurts you to think of it tomorrow morning. 
“It’s even more beautiful than the last time,” Mark hums, but his eyes never leave your figure– if you were still dating, you bet he’d come out with a cheesy line about how you’re prettier than the view, or something. “It didn’t rain this time around, thank god.”
Gazing at him, you shake your head in disbelief. Scoffing, you play with the grass between your fingers. “You remember that?”
“Yeah,” he hums, “I remember a lot of things.”
The sentence makes you bitterly chuckle. He knows why you’re reacting the way you are– and you have every right to. He claims to remember a lot of things, but the ones important to you, the ones you wanted him to remember, he failed to save into his memory. And that’s eventually what made you break up with him, at the end of it all.
At your reaction, he sighs and drags a hand across his face, seemingly realizing the weight of his own words and just how ridiculous he must have sounded to you right now. 
“I- That-” he stutters, shaking his head, “that sounded stupid right now, considering… everything… Didn’t it?”
“Kind of,” you nod, not wanting to meet his eyes. 
“I’m sorry,” he blurts out, voice suddenly raw and serious, so different to the tone he’s been using with you the whole afternoon, “I don’t- I can’t remember if I said that back then, when you- when you… broke up with me, but I really am sorry, Y/N. You didn’t deserve that, and I am in no way shape or form trying to make this about me, but I hate myself every day for the way things turned out and if I could go back to that day, I’d do so many things differently.”
The sky in front of you deepens in reds and you taste iron on your tongue, suddenly hyper-aware of the fact that you’ve managed to bite on your lip too hard in the midst of the conversation. Tearing out stems of grass with your clammy fingertips, you focus on the clouds running through the sky, calculating your next response.
“Okay,” you nod, not giving him much else. The answer perfectly encapsulates the way you feel on the inside right now– you don’t know if you’re ready to accept his apology, if you’re ready to let go of it and act like you weren’t hurt or that none of it ever happened, but you listened to him and you internalized his words. He is sorry. He knows he was in the wrong. And you were aware that he knew all of this before– hell, you’d even go as far as say he knew it the moment you knocked on his door that day and told him it was over– but hearing it from him surely moved something inside of you to a more comfortable place.
“I-” he starts, voice breaking making him clear his throat before he continues, “I don’t expect you to forgive me. And I know I shouldn’t have expected you to still be my friend after all of this, and that- I shouldn’t have even called you so many times and approached you at the store and stuff, but um-” he mumbles, shrugging to himself, “I guess I just couldn’t stay away from you. And again, I don’t expect you to forgive me, I don’t expect you to do anything, really. So… yeah…”
Snickering at his aimless monologue, you shake your head in disbelief. “Mark?”
“Yeah?” he stares at you, eyes a bottomless pool of emotion.
“Why did you invite me here today? What was the… point, I guess?” you ask, hugging your knees to your chest as the breeze makes goosebumps appear all over your body. 
Mark offers you a sad smile, head leaned to his right as he shrugs, and this time, his eyes don’t leave yours as he spills the truth into the air. “I guess I was just feeling selfish today,” he hums, and the sentence makes you cringe with the memory of his first call to you after your break up, “wanted to spend time with you.”
“Here, of all places?”
“Yeah,” he nods, “told you. I was feeling selfish.”
Snickering, you look away, staring at the sky again. The colors are starting to blend together into a deep, dark purple– the horizon darkening as the sun starts to say its final goodbyes to the day. You sigh to yourself, yet feel no bitterness or terror at his words. Somehow, you understand. Somehow, you get him a little too well. Somehow, you think you knew the moment he texted you today, and somehow, you think you felt it in your bones when you didn’t say no, although you could have. There’s calmness in your soul when you nod at the implication of his words, leaning back on your elbows and plopping your bottom to the ground, sitting at the dusty surface. 
“You said you didn’t expect anything out of me today, Mark.”
“And I don’t,” he says, voice soft. 
“And you brought me here to remind me of the last time we went?” you stare at him, a hint of a bitten-back smile playing with your lips. “Because you’re selfish?” 
He nods, not escaping your gaze. “To remind you of the last time we went. To show you that… I remember, I guess. And that I still care, just like the last time. If not more.”
“Mark, you can’t just say all of this and expect nothing out of me right now,” you mutter.
“Actually, I can. Because that’s what I’m doing. I’m just… laying it out in the open, and what you do with the information is completely, completely up to you,” he explains, and you find yourself chuckling at him, the atmosphere instantly lighter as you hear his voice in its usual casualness, talking to you as if he was just unpacking what went on in class today, and not the starting and the end of your one year relationship.
And he’s right. What you do with the information is completely up to you, and the next steps and the progress of your relationship with Mark Lee is also completely in your hands. You could turn away and never talk to him again, you could curse at him and tell him that it’s too late now and he missed his chance, but if that was the case, you wouldn’t be here in the first place. He wouldn’t be inviting you to this place, lying about his roommate canceling just to trick you into going, and you wouldn’t be blindly accepting the invitation, wanting to see where the afternoon brings you. 
“So you still care about me?” you hum, looking at him from under your eyelashes, noticing his slouched-over pose as he looks back at you over his shoulder.
“Always have,” he admits, “never stopped. Despite not really… acting like it in the past few months.”
“Why’d you stop acting like it, then?” you ask.
A sigh escapes his lips, his head turning forward before he leans back and sits cross-legged on the ground, more comfortably now. Shrugging, he answers the question. “I guess I just got too caught up with different things. And don’t get me wrong, you were always my priority, always, but I was all over the place with everything and my mind just couldn’t… there were too many things to keep up with and I couldn’t stay up to date with everything,” he says, “and I know it’s not an excuse, but it’s an explanation, and it doesn’t make it better or undo the pain I’ve caused you, but it’s… at least you know it was never because I’d care about you any less.”
His eyes bear into yours with such honesty you think the weight of the world will crash on you any minute, and suddenly, the whole situation seems so much clearer.
And you wouldn’t take it back, you wouldn’t undo the breakup or do anything differently, because at the end of the day, you think it was needed. Perhaps the time apart was what he needed as a wake up call and what you needed to shield yourself from hurting more. 
“Stop me from saying it if you… if you don’t want to hear it right now,” he hums, voice barely louder than a whisper. There seems to be a silent communication between the two of you, a connection of some sort that brings out the strange telepathy, but you just nod at him, a gentle smile playing with your lips as you understand exactly what he means, telling him that it’s okay and that you don’t mind– you welcome, you need to hear him say it again.
Licking his lips, he turns to you fully, facing you. There’s not a hint of nervousness in his body, having done this a lot of times before, and then it happens– the repeated confession, confirming what was there the whole time, never leaving even when the times were rough. 
“I love you,” he says.
And isn’t that all that’s needed? 
A year is a long time with someone. Somehow, you wouldn’t want the time to go to waste. At the end of the day, if love is still present, isn’t it worth trying? One more time?
“And you still don’t expect anything from me?” you ask, gazing at him softly. “You don’t expect me to say it back?”
“No,” he breathes out, shrugging. “I just needed to get it off my chest.”
“Because you’re selfish like that,” you nod, teasing him. 
“Because I’m selfish like that,” he agrees, breaking out into a slight grin.
Looking at the sky, now completely dipped in dark purple, you sigh to yourself at the turmoil of the conversation. You don’t say it back– although you feel it, you know it’s in there, playing with your heartstrings and clenching the muscle in the palm of its hand– you know love is there, deep inside, for the man that’s currently staring at you as if you hung the very stars appearing on the sky there yourself, stolen them from your own eyes and gluing them there selflessly, for everyone to see. You don’t tell him you love him back, you don’t tell him you forgive him or accept his apology. You don’t worry about what tomorrow will bring you, what your brain is going to tell you when you come down from the hill and get home, lay in your bed and overthink. You let the worries escape you, letting fondness and calm envelope you in a tight hug instead.
“Okay,” you nod, watching the boy next to you look at you with curious eyes. You take his hand into yours and place it on your thigh, playing with his fingers for a heartbeat before you meet his eyes again and smile. “I won’t say it back, but for all it’s worth, Mark… I’m glad you remembered.”
And that’s all he needs– there is love, there is fondness, and there is the silent confirmation that all you need right now is just a bit more time. 
Where do broken hearts go?
Somehow, you think they hold on to the place where it all started. Somehow, you think your heart never went anywhere– it stayed on this hill, waiting for you to pay it a visit and pick back up everything right from where you left it.
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“It doesn’t seem like a good idea to go here today, Y/N,” Mark laughed behind you as he looked up to the sky, the dark clouds shielding the sun that had been previously shining down on your hiking figures, casting an orange glow on the strands of your hair. 
“Well, there’s no turning back now,” you shrugged, turning to him and grinning as you tugged on his hand, grip strong as you dragged the boy up the trail, your sneakers fast against the dirty ground. “We have finals starting next week and it’s gonna be too cold to go after the exam season is over, so we gotta go now.”
“I kind of regret telling you that I’ve never been here before now,” Mark sighed, but followed you nonetheless, breathlessly following your excited stride. It was October, the leaves on the trees were welcoming the two of you in shining colors, and the wind kissing your skin turned a bit chilly in the evenings– courtesy of the warm hoodie Mark shyly lended you when you shivered for the first time, adoring the way you, his friend, looked in the light gray fabric. Something about you wearing his clothes made the boy a bit hopeless about the day. Maybe he’ll have enough courage to confess his feelings to you, he thought. Maybe, despite the first raindrops falling on the skin of his bare arms, this evening will have a happy ending for you and him. 
“Oh, please,” you squinted at him, continuing to run up the hill– thank god it wasn’t that steep, serving both of you as the perfect hiking difficulty, “even if you wouldn’t have, I’d drag you here anyway. It’s like, my favorite place to go in Seoul, haven’t I told you before?”
You have, Mark thought. But he was okay with hearing it again. 
You squealed when the raindrops got heavier and the rain started pouring faster on the two of you, and Mark found himself laughing at your running figure. He was right behind you, praying that you don’t slip on one of the rocks and break your leg on the hiking trail, but he encouraged you with sweet comments and a hand on the small of your back as he watched the tip of the hill appear right in front of his very eyes, your body coming to a satisfied halt when you reached your destination.
“Tada!” you grinned at him, twirling a little like a ballerina, showing him the place with outstretched arms. He tried hard to observe the place, but his eyes stayed glued to your excited figure, gaze bearing into yours as you looked at him, amidst a little flustered, with sparkly orbs and a bright smile on your face. Your hair was a mess, his gray hoodie enveloping your body was slowly growing darker in color from absorbing the rain, and your sneakers were getting a bit muddy from walking around the place. He wanted to remember this moment forever, he thought– this version of you, the smiley expression on your face, the carefree and excited nature of your step. 
“Isn’t it beautiful?” you exclaimed, jumping around and nearing the boy, but as you went to take his hand to drag him around the top of the hill once more, your feet slipped and you fell forward, a surprised squeak battling its way out of your throat.
Your whole life flashed in front of your very eyes in that moment, embarrassment spreading down your neck at the fact that you were about to fall face first onto the ground in front of your crush of a few months, before your body collided with a soft, yet firm mass engulfing you closer. A pair of strong arms steadied you against his chest, and when you looked up at your friend, you swear all words were taken out of your dictionary, the sight leaving you speechless.
“It is,” he gaped, eyes bearing into yours. Mark was agreeing with you, but something in the back of your head was telling you that he didn’t really admire this place as much as you did– his curious gaze was always plastered somewhere completely else. 
That place being your face, of course. And your eyes, your cheeks, the mess of your bangs, and occasionally– screw that, almost always– your lips. Much like in that moment, a few centimeters away from his face, so inviting he thought it would be a crime to contain the urge. 
And so he didn’t– he didn’t control his feelings and the ever-so growing yearning for you, as he silently leaned towards your face and captured his lips with yours in a firm, yet short kiss.
He looked at you with a nervous tint behind his gaze when he leaned away, the sight of your wide eyes staring at him making a slight flush grow on his cheeks. You looked so beautiful in that moment– flustered, surprised, with messy hair and lips still apart– and he was relieved to not find a hint of a displeased emotion in your expression. 
“Okay, so- well-” you stuttered, laughing to yourself, “this didn’t go as I planned, but I guess I’m happy as long as the final result is the same,” you hummed, standing on your tippy-toes and pressing your lips against him once more, this time letting yourself enjoy the moment fully, mouth moving against his in a careful, yet excited rhythm. He tasted like the strawberry candy you offered him on the bottom of the trail and smelled a bit like rain, the mixture always staying in the depths of your mind as his warmth enveloped you in comfort and a feeling of home.
“The final result being…?” he asked when you pulled apart once again, a dazed expression overtaking his sharp features.
“Us,” you shrugged, “like this,” you clarified.
Mark laughed at that, hugging you closer to his chest. You rested your head on his shoulder, listening to the sound of raindrops washing away the top layer of dirt off the rocks on the tip of the hill, hands sneaking around his waist and enjoying the way they wrapped around him so tightly and so comfortably. You in his hoodie, in your favorite place, standing in his arms. It was raining, but it didn’t matter.
“Mark?” 
“Hm?” 
“If we ever get lost, or something happens… bring me back here, okay?” you mumbled close to his ear, lips gently glazing the skin of his ear, making goosebumps appear all over your new lover. “I’m convinced that this place could fix everything.”
“Even us?” 
“Don’t be ridiculous. You’re not allowed to ever leave me now, what would there be to fix between us?” you smacked his shoulder, snickering to yourself.
“You never know,” he laughed, “what if I accidentally mess up somewhere along the way?” he asked, threading his fingers through your hair, smoothing down the wet mess.
“Okay then,” you hummed, “even us.”
Staring into your eyes, letting the moment play out by itself, Mark swore he’s never felt more at peace. He wondered if it was the effect of the place, the rain, or just your sheer presence.  “I’ll remember that,” he giggled before he let go of your body, petting your head as he took a hold of your hand, tugging you down from where you came from, “now let’s go home before we catch a cold.”
Nodding, following the man as you both carefully, yet fastly made it down the trail, you enjoyed the way his hand fit into yours and the way you knew that after this, you can’t ever come back to being friends with Mark Lee. He was all yours, completely, utterly yours, and you knew in the back of your head, that you were his– and nothing will ever change that.
You would always come back to the hill with him. It felt ridiculous to think about you two ever having to fix anything between the two of you back then, but even in that moment, you knew that for him, you’d keep trying. As long as he does– as long as he remembers.
Where do broken hearts go? You guess they always come right back to the place they come from– and they leave glued back together every single time.
You guess your heart never really left the hill.
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literaila · 2 months
Text
new pups
gojo satoru x fem!reader
summary: satoru brings home a couple of additions
warnings: satoru is annoying, reader is fed up with him, tsumiki is doing something (???), megumi is tired he needs a nap
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*
year three
“ladies,” satoru calls, slamming the door instead of shutting it, even though you've scolded him about it for five weeks straight. “i’ve returned.” 
there’s the distinct sound of someone kicking the wall—probably just satoru throwing a bag by the door. 
you set down the pen you're holding, sighing at the sound. 
you used to live in a peaceful house, always clean, always calm, no boys to disrupt your wonderful lifestyle. 
and now you live with three kids. you probably haven't had a single moment alone since you moved in. 
and yet tsumiki looks up from the table, her eyes wide and waiting, and you watch fondly--glad that they're home. 
megumi rounds the corner, rubbing his eyes. his hair is a mess--complete with leaves and mud--and his face looks like it was stretched out by a car tire. but tsumiki smiles at him, not bothered by his appearance. “i’m here too," he says, walking up to the table where you're helping tsumiki with her homework, looking distastefully at the worksheets the two of you have lost track of. 
you smile at him. 
“hey, kid,” you say, pulling him to kiss his forehead. he tastes like sweat. “how was your class?” 
he shrugs, as telling as ever, then goes to the kitchen. 
satoru is next, as untouched as he was before he left, not a hair out of place, leaving a loud smacking kiss on tsumiki’s head—who loves it—and one on your cheek— which is promptly wiped away. 
“did you miss us?” he asks you, leaning against your shoulder with his entire body before you push him away. his blindfold is slipping from his face, and you snap it against his skin.
so he huffs and sits at the chair next to you, blindfold off, moving it even closer. seriously, he has never learned the meaning of personal space. 
“we didn’t have time,” you tell him, kicking his leg as he sits down. “we’ve been working.” 
he gives tsumiki a look. “blink twice if you need help.” 
she opens her eyes wide, making him laugh. her tiny fingers tap against the table, and you can tell that she's about to beg you for another break--just to go check on her room, she'll swear, or grab a glass of water. 
you've only been sitting there with her for an hour, but even you're feeling a bit restless at the math and reading comprehension worksheets you'd like to never see again. 
“shoo, satoru," you tell him before he can say anything else, 
"we’re almost done.” 
“but i just got here!” 
"you're going to disturb tsumiki. she's working hard." 
"i can watch," he grins at the little girl, "can't i, miki?" 
tsumiki looks between the two of you, nodding her head. "he's okay," she whispers to you, sweetly, and you pretend not to notice as the two of them share a wink and a smile, plotting against you, probably. 
"sit and be quiet," you point at him, turning away. 
"actually... could we take a break?" you frown at her, raising your brows. "there's not much left, and i promise i'll finish it all soon!" she pleads, taking satoru's signature sweet talking, "i just want to check on something real quick." 
you sigh, looking at what she's got left over, and, for how long you've been working, it's not that much (plus you could probably use a break too). "okay, but--" tsumiki is up from the table before the words are out of your mouth, her smile radiant, and she runs away before you can get another word out.
you snort as she leaves, then look to your best friend, frowning at him. "that's your fault." 
"i sat down," satoru deadpans. 
"i know you're teaching them to slack off when i'm not around," you tell him, moving your chair at least three feet away. just to get away from his crushing aura. 
satoru does not take this hint--nor any other one--and he moves with you like it'll physically kill him to be any further apart. 
"does avoiding homework and playing candy crush count as slacking off?" he asks you.
"yes." 
he nods thoughtfully. "oh, then yeah." 
you groan, stacking all of the papers on the table. your shoulders bump into his as you do so, his hands on your thighs, creeping as they try to scare you away. 
then they're gone, and he grins mischievously. 
"don't worry, megumi wanted to show you something anyway," he whispers, and then looks down the hallway, where the boy disappeared a couple of minutes ago. "megumi!" he sings. 
about thirty seconds later a scrunched-up body marches into the room, wearing pajamas already, dark circles that shouldn't exist for a nine-year-old under his eyes. 
seriously, what did satoru do? 
you nod at the boy and he looks quizzically at satoru, entirely bored and exhausted. 
"well?" satoru asks after they've been staring at each other for ten seconds straight. "aren't you going to show her?" 
megumi blinks, and usually, he'd probably argue at any request satoru made, but he looks too tired. he merely gives a half-hearted eye-roll, shaking his hair out of his eyes.
and then he turns towards you, looking briefly at the light above the table, rests one of his hands upon an open one, making an indiscernible shape. 
and almost before you can see them--you feel it, that unmistakable current of cursed energy, but satoru doesn't flinch, so neither do you. 
then there are two puppies at megumi's feet, barking excitedly beneath him. 
the two of them may be trying to give you a heart attack.
you stare for a moment--watching as megumi pats both of their heads, then looks at you, like he didn't just bring home two new pets without even asking you.
or like he's not just nine, creating creatures out of thin air.
you blink. the white one sniffs around megumi's feet, moving over to satoru to inspect him while the other black one sits by megumi, happy to remain there. 
"see!" satoru exclaims after he's had enough of the silence. he looks ridiculous bending down to pet the dog sniffing at his feet, who tries to nip at him in response.  
"you--" you frown, tilting your head, watching closely as they might disappear. "you made those?" 
"they're shikigami," satoru tells you, "aren't they cute?" 
"you just learned how to do that?" 
megumi nods. 
you gape for a moment more--so many curious thoughts running through your head, attempting to scare you away from your little boy and whoever he's supposed to be--but you shut them out. then smile. "wow, megumi. that--wow." 
his nose ruffles at you. 
"and you can summon them at will?" 
megumi frowns, but satoru nods. 
"and release them?" 
"he figured it out pretty quick," satoru says. "honestly, i was impressed." 
you stand up, ruffling his hair. "good job, buddy," you say, with obvious pride. 
how many parents can say that their child created two puppies and brought them home to them?
"they can't really do much." 
"i told you that they'll grow with you," satoru says, rolling his eyes. "maybe they have laser eyes."
megumi frowns at him.
"hmm," you watch them, the white one sniffing at you now. "they are cute. who could fight these little guys?" you say, cooing at the puppy, who basks in your attention. "they might shock curses into submission if nothing else." 
satoru laughs, slinging an arm around your shoulder as you rise up again.
you give megumi a frown, watching his slow blinks. "you tired?" 
he nods, not even bothering to deny it like he usually would.
"okay, go hang out. we'll get dinner ready." 
megumi walks off, the two puppies following after him. 
you brows furrow as you watch him go. "did you have to torture him to get him to summon them?" 
satoru rolls his eyes. "i just talked to him until he figured it out." 
"so, yes." 
"actually, he didn't say much. just kind of sat by himself and thought for a bit." 
"and you watched?" 
satoru grins at you, nuzzling his nose into the side of your face. 
"he looks like he's half dead." 
he shrugs. "took a lot out of him. puppies are hard work." 
he's recalling what you told him when he tried to get you all to go to the animal shelter a couple of weeks ago, you look at him pointedly. then away. 
satoru grins at you, pulling his head back, then pauses. "what? you're not a dog person?" 
"how much do you know about his technique?" 
"not a lot," he answers, simply, "i know that he'll probably rival me for strength. when he's older." 
"how are you going to teach him?" 
satoru shrugs. he doesn't need to worry about any of this, you think. he doesn't need to fear a single thing. 
and, really, he's always been a little too good for you. a little too strong for your soft demeanor, and easy heart. 
you bite your lip, considering it. how fast will megumi grow now that he's figured out the basics of his shikigami? how much longer can you keep him here, tied down?
it only makes you wonder what satoru was like as a kid, who he might've been if he hadn't always been him. 
"he's only nine," you whisper, soft, unbroken. it's not a confession or a worry. just the truth.
"you were nine." 
"i was ten," you correct, appreciating satoru's strong arms against your body, his effortless hold on you. 
he laughs, tilting his head at you. "i was born." 
you roll your eyes, pushing him off. enough of his presence. "yeah, yeah, honored one, whatever." 
he pulls you back, though, easy as ever. "it's normal," he reminds you. "he's got us. he'll be fine." 
you sigh, hanging your head against his chest. "we don't know anything about his cursed technique." 
satoru hums. 
"we have to figure it out," you tell him like you haven't thought about it every day for the past year alone. like you'll be able to figure out anything. 
"okay." 
"do you think there are books on it at the library?" you ask him, thinking about yaga's lessons--which, in hindsight, you should've paid more attention to. 
satoru frowns. "i'm not reading those." 
"well, no one's going to tell you about it." 
"you could. after you read the books," he grins, very pleased with this answer. 
"you're helping because there's probably, like, twenty different ones all contradicting each other." 
just the idea of the library is a tough one. who knows what information has been muddled over the years, or what you'll need to know for megumi, anyway? 
no matter what, it's gonna take longer than a day to figure it out. probably a decade, at least. 
"can't megumi just read them for himself?" satoru whines, shaking his head against yours at the same thought. 
"satoru," you pinch his forearm.
he groans. "fine. fine. i'll talk to yaga next time i'm at the school."  
"good boy." 
"don't patronize me," he pouts. 
"where did you learn that word?" 
"i can read, you know." 
"really? thought i was gonna have to teach you that too," you smile at him, pinching his rosy cheeks. he looks very pretty like this--always unchanging, unbothered. 
"i was the best in my class, i'll have you know," he tells you like you weren't there to experience that same class. 
"you mean laziest," you shake your head, stepping away, finally. "god knows why you turned out to be so strong." 
he grins again, leaning towards you. close enough to breathe in. "it's part of my natural charm." 
"great," your brows raise at him, "you and your charm can help me make dinner." 
"do we have to?" he whines. 
but satoru is very similar to your new puppies, in that as soon as you walk away, he follows, sniffing eagerly after you. 
*
"so," satoru says, sitting too close to you on the couch. he yawns, body sprawled against the cushions. 
you try to push his head away from your shoulder, but the effort is futile. he might as well glue it there. you wonder when he got the time to fill his brain with cement. 
you sigh, and dog-ear your book, knowing that he's not going to shut up for at least ten minutes. "what?" 
"i talked to yaga today." 
"about the books?" 
"among other things." 
you flick his forehead. "did you get us in trouble again?" you ask, frowning. "i told you to stop spilling my secrets to anyone who asks--" 
"it was an accident." 
you shake your head, rolling your eyes at him. but your hand subconsciously wraps around his shoulders, squeezing where it can, and begins to trail through his hair. 
after three years, you still haven't managed to get him to tell you anything about his conditioner. another reason why you hate him so much. 
"what'd he say?" you ask, after satoru's eyes close at the feeling of your hands. 
"he had an interesting idea." 
"was it your idea?" 
"no, not this time." 
"okay..." 
"well, you know how they're always running low on teachers at the school, especially now that yaga's principal?" 
"uh-huh." 
"and you know how we could use the help with training megumi, and that we're the best out there--" 
"no, satoru." 
"i didn't even say--" 
"i'm not teaching." 
"but you'd be so great at it," he smiles up at you, fluttering his eyelashes in an attempt to break you. 
so you look away because you refuse to fall victim to his whims again. 
"the missions are enough, i don't want to be responsible for anyone else but you and the kids." 
"you know you do." 
"i'm not doing it," you tell him, snatching your arm back to cross them across your chest. 
"it's not even that big of a change," he argues, "just, like, a very extensive year-long training program for incoming teachers--" 
*
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