#maybe because he's young and scared and sad and traumatized

[evakant]

i know wei wuxian is first pick as god/personification of death etc. etc. (duh, perfect choice, so sexy) but i would like to propose jiang cheng for the part. in the same way elizabeth swann is death from that one post about her kisses damning the men she loves

in the way everything he touches and everything he loves seems to be doomed (sect, parents, sister, brother)

wei wuxian as life!!! as god of life!!! coming back, unkillable. life giving (core transfer, wen ning, etc.)*

jin ling doesn't die because at the end of the story, at the guanyin temple, wei wuxian is there too. to protect him the same way he protected jiang cheng

and this is why he (wei wuxian) has to go back to being yunmeng jiang's head disciple, in this essay i will—

*i'm not saying he lives well, but he lives! he fucking claws and crawls and fights his way out of the burial mounds, he just doesn't fucking quit** you know what i mean

**until he does, but that's a choice he makes.

#now i know the problem here is that wei wuxian loves and wants to protect the same things that jiang cheng does #and so why aren't /they/ safe? and i'm here to say: idk #this is not a complete theory. this is nothing at all actually #maybe because he's young and scared and sad and traumatized #or maybe it's because he thinks he doesn't deserve the love of these people idk #take jiang yanli's death for example. idk idk like i said i'm.. i'm just shooting shit out of my mouth #even that aside it doesn't work ALSO because jiang cheng saves and raises his dead sect back from its ashes. he Very Much(tm) does that. #edit: adding this in bc i had this in my drafts for literally two weeks now i wrote it in a rush after going to bed #i was half asleep already when the thought came to me so i just typed this out in a rush before going back to sleep and like idk what #to add to it. idk how to polish it. it's nothing!! but i can't delete it. i tried i just can't it's like an itch i can't scratch #i have to set it out into the world. don't @ me i know i've made better posts #untamed.txt #jiang cheng #wei wuxian #yunmeng shuangjie #fra.txt

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

Heya, Mouse. I hope you're doing well. 😊

So, I recently got the Mr. Qi mature event again in my most recent save. A personal issue I have with this event is that no one, including your own spouse, ever hint at the event at all. Yes, the Farmer can't talk about it, but surely they'd be acting differently after such a scary and traumatic event? So my request is this: How would the sdv/sve marriagables + Krobus (bc I know my shadow roomie would be worried too) feel about the Farmer acting differently after they were found after the Qi event? Like, maybe the Farmer's more jumpy and sullen after what had happened, but they can't say anything because of the seal.

Hi, hello! 👋 I'm doing fine! ☺️ Thanks for your question, and I really apologize for taking so long to reply 😅 I decided to post here about only Bachelors + Krobus, hope you don't mind. Anyway, thanks again for caring and for the ask! Enjoy ❤️

Sam:

Given that the Farmer was found unconscious in the forest, Sam immediately thought that the reason for their behaviour was that they had been frightened by a wild bear or wolves. No wonder: you are lying defenceless and predators are walking around you, wanting to eat you. The young musician's guesses are far from the truth of what really happened to Farmer, but whatever happens, Sam will be there for his love, supporting them and comforting them.

Elliott:

Poor Elliott nearly had a stroke when he saw Farmer lying in a hospital bed at the Clinic. Taking them by the hand, the writer began to ask what had happened to his spouse, but was quickly silenced when he saw Farmer getting even worse. Elliott apologises for his panic and will do his best to make Farmer feel better. He still hopes that Farmer will be able to tell what happened in the future.

Shane:

Shane feels angry and wants to punch someone (or something) with his fist, which is the reason for Farmer's sadness and constant tension. He is even ready to fight with the whole world if he has to - no one dares to offend the people close to him and get away with it. But realising that Farmer's rage won't help him in any way, Shane tries to comfort them and calm them down. Even suggests they go to the therapist he went to himself after that event on the hill. Magic, not magic, he doesn't know shit about it. All he needs right now is to be there for Farmer and give them all the help and support they need.

Sebastian:

Sebastian can't calm down himself now. He knows that the Farmer fights monsters every day, which is the pure nightmare fuel of many people's lives, and the fact that his spouse met someone that even scared them.... However, Sebby is trying her best not to show his worries, because right now the Farmer needs someone to protect them. And he will be brave for them now, just as Farmer was brave for Sebastian and the other people they were protecting.

Alex:

Alex went into full protective mode, not letting anyone he deemed suspicious near Farmer. The young athlete thinks that some tourists have decided to attack and harm Farmer, as many people (including some unpleasant ones) have come to Stardew Valley, to admire the local town and relax. Unfortunately, Farmer can't tell the real reason, and that's what kills them the most - it's the inability to tell Alex what happened. However, gentle words and cuddles in bed are just what Farmer needs after the traumatic event.

Harvey:

Breathing exercises, sedation, elimination of junk food..... Harvey doesn't know what happened to the Farmer, but he certainly knows how to help them. Alas, in matters magical he will not help in any way, so does not even know of its existence. But Harvey will definitely do his best to help deal with his spouse's depressed mood. He promise to them, everything will be alright, doctor's word!

Magnus:

Magnus know very well about the silencing spell, as he knows this school of magic very well. And the fact that his spouse was acting like a frightened lamb after that strange event made him think about this possible option. Touching their hand, Magnus was scalded like fire, leaving no doubt. Magic. Dark, unfamiliar magic. The Farmer no longer needed to try to say anything, Rasmodius understood all at once. The wizard would assure his lover that he would definitely help them, no matter who cursed Farmer.

Lance:

Lance didn't feel magic as subtly as the same Rasmodius or Camilla, but he could feel the incomprehensible dark aura that wrapped around Farmer's neck like ropes. His one penetrating look into his consort's frightened eyes was enough for Lance to signal to some his fellow mages, including same Camilla and Magnus, that something out of the ordinary had happened. The gallant adventurer also remembered to kiss them on the forehead and envelope them in a tight hug, reassuring them and promising them that everything would be all right.

Victor:

Victor, seeing how the constant tension and depressive state is affecting his beloved spouse, he tries to find a therapist to help Farmer. Poor Victor cannot watch them suffer, so will offer his support and convinced them accept professional help. The sad irony is that Farmer can't tell anyone, no matter how hard they try. Still, they're glad Victor won't leave them alone.

Krobus:

Krobus doesn't realise what exactly happened to Farmer, but shadow person can feel them exuding alien magic and a restless aura after they returned from the clinic. Never, no matter what dangerous adventures they had been on, had the Krobus seen the Farmer so frightened. The fact that they wouldn't tell him anything tensed the shadow person even more. It's unlikely that Farmer would lie to him like this if they had always told Krobus everything about their adventures before. Something is wrong, and Krobus, worried about his friend, thinks that maybe Magnus or Marlon can help Farmer.

#stardew valley #sdv #stardew valley expanded #sve #sve lance #sdv wizard #sdv sebastian #sdv shane #sdv alex #sdv sam #sdv harvey #sdv elliott #sve magnus #sve victor #thanks for the ask! #sdv headcanons #sve headcanons #sdv krobus

[auncyen]

Same anon with the mira and bonnie ask, lobed your response but felt weird to just put it in w/o a question so if you don’t mind:

what do you think siffrin’s life was like before joining the party? Could be pre- or post- forgotten island. Idk to me its fascinating bc they were loved in some measure (cloak, jokingly running away bc of veggies) and are p in touch with their culture when they remember it, but at the same time siffrin’s mindset is pretty unhealthy. Like even before looping/during act 2 loops, they seemed unconcerned about serious bodily harm and death that would happen to them + just seems to have. A very strange relationship with people feeling sad instead of happy around them? Idk i just don’t think that’s from just the memory loss.

See I think kid Siffrin was pretty happy. As Isabeau notes whoever gave them the cloak and hat must have really loved them. When Siffrin recounts running away it's in a carefree way--he knew he could give his parents a scare and it'd go down as "just a prank". Basically their home life was really good. There are questions I have about the island's beliefs / values that might be troublesome, but I don't really think that sort of thing grates on a kid with a happy home life too much. (And also as a little note the only glimpse we get into the island's beliefs/values are through Siffrin and King, two individuals who cannot recall those things completely and are very traumatized, so like. Should probably take a grain of salt on how they portray the beliefs anyway.)

Post-island I admittedly read a LOT into how Siffrin finds Vaugarde's openness weird and had kept their hair dyed up until a few months pre-game.

In his experience, other countries are not as welcoming. So I imagine their teenage years were probably pretty lonely. This isn't to say other countries were completely awful--he obviously enjoyed Poteria's plays!--but they were juuust old enough where few would assume just by looking at them "uh, you're on your own, do you need help?" If they stayed long enough in a spot for people to figure out something was wrong it'd invite questions like "where are you from", "where are your parents", basically questions that'd make Siffrin's head hurt and probably lead to them cutting off the interaction if the other person doesn't walk away first because they're put off or alarmed by Siffrin's reactions. Basically, there probably WERE well-meaning attempts to help Siffrin. They backfired because people didn't know what was wrong with Siffrin (Siffrin didn't know what was wrong with Siffrin). Siffrin probably beat himself up for it when he knew the other person was trying to help and he was just too "broken". As a teenager he probably stayed longest in places where adults assumed he was a runaway that didn't want to talk about it and maybe helped him out in a more "hands-off" way--"hey, run this errand for me and I'll give you dinner and a roof for the night". Which, great! Because Siffrin finds a way to get by. But it doesn't deal with any of the emotional issues festering inside.

I also feel like, while this may be a bit dark for the fantasy setting, Siffrin probably got targeted at times for being a young traveler on their own. I mean I also headcanon that Siffrin was very good at escaping dicey situations, partially because they'd start Wish Crafting unconsciously if they were really scared, so they were never seriously harmed. But they weren't good experiences to have!

I also kind of headcanon that pre-canon with not knowing who they are like--they loved plays. But also, like. I can see them at times hurting when they think about plays, how they'd be portrayed in a play. No true name, no past, no home, no relations. At best they're the jester who mocks a King gone wrong and makes the audience laugh. At worst they're a side character killed off-stage in a tragedy, barely important enough to devote two lines to. What kind of play would have a protagonist with zero emotional stake in anything?

They try to be the jester, at least. Sometimes, when he's feeling brave enough. It tends to fizzle pretty quickly. (And then he meets someone who doubles over laughing at a bad pun.)

So yeah I feel like Siffrin pretty much mastered the art of getting by and also as in this post actually being pretty good at fighting pre-canon, but socially well. They can ask directions in at least half a dozen languages but can't be honest about how they're feeling or what's going on with them in a single blinding one. Then they meet a group that's in desperate need of another fighter and 2 of them are Vaugardians who are willing to accept Siffrin's eccentricities as just part of them and not ask questions and Odile's pragmatic enough to not rock the boat unnecessarily. I pretty much do view the group as being the first chance Siffrin remembers getting to bond with people without it going south by them wanting to know their background. Of course he loves them. Of course it doesn't really matter what happens to him, who's going to miss him?? They have homes and families and friends. They're the real heroes. He's just supporting cast.

...So yeah tl;dr pre-island vanishing I think Siffrin's life was just fine. post-island was an incredible amount of loneliness and the Universe putting his brain in a blender and idly hitting the pulse button every so often. This is not even getting into experiencing the physical side of puberty while not knowing who you are or who to ask for help, which, yikes.

#siffrin #in stars and time #in stars and time spoilers

[gomzdrawfr]

[oc x cannon rambles]

OKAY. Continuining from this.

New Au that originates from Royal AU -> Isekai Royal AU

more rambles/lore/fic/explanation/art below (compiled it into one post so i dont spam yall's tl with my bs LMAO:

[wARNING: big sad, MCD(Raven), angst, death, violence, injuries]

In the ending of Royal AU, King!Price married another Queen and had a kid, Royal Guard!Raven got promoted to Commander, they go their separate ways for the sake of the nation

The kid, aka the Princess, has everything Price had, the exact blue eyes and all except she was blonde like her mother.

She was rather fond of Raven, and always sneaked out to find Commander Raven despite Raven warning her not to.

Raven's still a softie though, so in the end, she ended up growing soft for her.

Until it all falls apart.

First it was a scream, and before she could register it she was bolting towards the voice.

It was the lil girl's scream.

She regretted not wearing armour that day, but somehow she managed to escape with the Princess in hand, stumbling down to the deeper part of the woods that was safe for now.

"Shhh...don't cry Princess....you're safe now"

Raven coos the trembling young Princess, her poor face pale from the shock and bruises on her delicate skin.

Lost count of how many arrows were on her back, she knew it was only a matter of time before it will take its full effect.

Poison arrows, the fletching bearing a black greenish gradient.

It was an assassination attempt on the young Princess.

"R-Raven...Raven I'm scared...."

"It's okay, it's okay...don't be scared....help's on their way..."

"Papa...I want Papa!!"

"......"

She sighs quietly, it stings, not from the arrows itself, but...from the weight of it all.

"I want your papa too....Princess"

She mumbled in a dazed, blood loss and her dizziness making it hard for her to decipher if she was thinking, or talking out loud, one thing she is certain was she can no longer hunched forward as she slumps to the ground.

"R-Raven? Raven!"

"....listen to me well...lil one..."

"...your papa....the Emperor...your majesty...is a great man..."

"he was a man who loved with all his heart...."

"your papa loves unconditionally....and the one thing he loves most in the world...is you"

More sniffles were heard from the lil girl, who were shaking worse than before, Raven reaches her hand out in an attempt to calm the young lady, only to smear some of her blood onto her pretty pink dress, she frowns at that...but...she was tired...

So so tired...but she kept going.

"....papa may be scary sometimes...and he scolds you...or punish you...but it's for your own good"

"....papa is also very kind...when he needs to...he bought you the tiara you really wanted...remember, Princess?"

"y-yes...I love it..."

"that's right...and you are a pretty girl...pretty eyes like your papa...yeah?"

Raven smiles, the pain subsiding into a blur

"and you have the brightest smile...don't cry...Princess...because a smile suits you better...please?"

She knows this is all wrong, that the poor princess will be traumatized forever because of this.

But the Princess was obedient, and smiles through the snort and tears.

Raven chuckles quietly, nodding weakly.

She'll be alright.

"...treasure your papa...Princess..."

Her eyes closed once, twice...and it was getting harder and harder to open them, or to hear anything else, not even the sound of horses gallop that was getting closer and closer

"...do it for me..."

And then she was swallowed by darkness

In her last moment, she watched a couple sitting side by side, she knew this scene.

The last time they were allowed to be with each other.

"Maybe in another life..." "I'll look for you in every single one of those lifetime" "yeah...you'd that for me, birdie?" "mhm..." "just remember...I love owls" "pretty vague if you ask me..." "you'll know it when you see me" "....that I can guarantee..."

The scene before her morphs into nothingness when she tried to reach out for it, a blinding light forces her vision to go white as she struggles to move.

When she does open her eyes again, she was heaving, sweating and....grabbing the air?

She blinks a few time, this doesn't feel like dying, wait-

She quickly sat up, and realise she was in a room, dimly lit but there were light at the balcony, she dash towards it, opening the windows only to be greeted with something she wouldn't expect.

She recognise this place...the ocean, the city, the flags, the castle- this castle-

How the hell did she end up in the Umbralis Citadel? [bear with me here i literally cannot come up with names of places LOL]

She quickly strolls back to her room, stopping before a mirror as she glanced at her reflection.

A Princess.

She has reincarnated as the Veil Princess.

=================

anywyas yeah thats sort of the fic SO the premise for the first art itself is moreso Princess Raven who managed to finally see King!Price after some careful planning and such, took the opportunity and meet him.

At first she gaze from afar, because she got emotional seeing him after...after everything they went through (she didn't even get to say good bye to him before she died).

Her attire choices was deliberate, although she was already rocking the modest, simple look since as the Veil Princess, no one really pay attention to her (she's the youngest in the royal family).

So she finally approaches him...AND THE STORY BEGINS-

#theres so many loop hole i have to tackle but the bIGGEST PROBLEM IS THE SETTING TIMING AND CLOTHINGS #im thinking they're slightly in a more future-ish timeline where...they have firearms and stuff...so like 17th century??? #I just want them to kiss. LMFAO #gummmyart #doodle #my oc #my oc art #cod oc #cod oc art #[oc]Raven #Raven[oc] #PriceRaven #captain john price #captain john price x oc #john price x oc #captain price x oc #isekai royal au #king!Price #princess!Raven

[bookishfeylin]

Okay this will be a rant so I'm sorry but I have opinions! And the world needs to know them. So I was thinking how SJM has overused "trauma" in ACOTAR to a point that now it just makes me cover my ears lol.

The reason Feyre went from not wanting to have children because she was parentified at young age and now just wanted to be free?✨TRAUMA✨ She felt her mate die and so she's scared they might not get time again and so it's a decision born out of that fear. Without Feyre would've not considered it.

Why Nesta and Elain become Fae and get absorbed into Feyre's world and become a part of IC?✨TRAUMA✨ they just had to go through a traumatic experience of being violently boiled alive and have their bodies changed. Otherwise they would've never wanted to be a part of the Fae world. They were way more adjusted to the human world than Feyre ever was.

Why Nesta was alone in HoW with Cassian as her keeper and became a warrior ™️ in the end?✨ TRAUMA✨ literally there was no other reason that Nesta would've ended up where she did and how she did if sjm didn't traumatize the shit out of her and completely beat her to the ground taking her where Feyre was mentally after UTM. As if she hadn't been through enough in book 1.

Why Azriel and Rhysand and Eris are the way they are and why they do the things they do?✨TRAUMA✨ yes, i know all of them are vastly different people but they all have one thing in common and that's all of them have had a traumatizing experience and so all their decisions are excused with "he had trauma!". I'd thought that maybe Eris will be this unapologetically snarky asshole with a "devil may care" attitude kinda like what Rhys was in book 1 minus the UTM stuff but he is just another sad boy who was traumatized and is just pretend evil. It's just SO repetitive that I cannot bring myself to give a single fuck anymore. While yes it's true that trauma shapes people up but not everyone is the way they are because of trauma dude. Why does SJM think that trauma is the only way she can give any depth to her characters instead of actually making them interesting and nuanced?

Because Sarah wants you to interpret the text her way and her way only. And if you don’t agree with her opinion, then clearly it’s because you don’t respect the ~trauma~

As an example: Feylin is unshippable because Tamlin abused Feyre and worsened her trauma. Valid! But if you argue that Rhysand was also abusive and therefore Feysand is just as unshippable, all the fandom screams about is that you don’t care about Feyre's trauma (yes I HAVE been told this before). Nevermind that it’s weird the text glosses over how traumatized Feyre should be because of Rhysand (eg the bone twisting torture and the sexual assault UTM) and only allows things associated with Tamlin/the Spring Court to trigger her.

The trauma is used as a cover to force you to agree with Sarah's opinions, which as I’ve discussed before is why only selective events are allowed to traumatize her protagonists, and if you disagree with what Sarah's written then it must be because you don’t respect the trauma the characters underwent.

#Anti sjm #sjm critical #acotar analysis #Anti acomaf #anti acotar

[kinz-aeh]

Who knew - Eddie Munson (m.reader)

Summary: You’re going to your first metal concert, thinking nobody from your hometown would be there to see you so differently than usual. But things change as Eddie Munson is there and recognise you.

Ship: Eddie Munson x Male!reader.

Warning: Traumatic background, hateful and homophobe parents, mention and use of drugs, cursing, sometimes sad. Please, read responsibly.

Author’s note: Hi there ! A lot have been on my mind these past few days and I had a lot of things to do. I’m a bit moody, so this story is not all cheery as my first one. But there are some really cute and fluff moments I guess. Hope you like it !

I also wanna add that if anyone comment bad, hateful, homophobe, racist things, I’m blocking you. I want this place to be safe for people with traumatic past, having to deal with mental health and/or other things, to feel safe and not judged for who they are.

Part 2 to come ?

Should I do a masterlist ?

For requests

———

You were in your car, well your mom’s car, in the parking lot, ready to go to that metal show you dreamed about since the announcement. Outside, it was already crowded. And that made you nervous. What if all of these people were as bad as your dad. Before you went out, your dad came across you and saw your ‘’too feminine’’ outfit. He commented it, called you all the bad names, and also said he would probably get you to therapy for that. The way he looked at you felt so bad, it made you feel so sick and scared. What does ‘’therapy’’ mean ? That you were sick ? No. You were just… You. But once here, in the safety of your car, in this parking lot crowded with ‘’freaks’’, for some reason, you felt more… Free to be yourself. Your outfit was just a crop top, showing a bit of your belly, with ripped black jeans held by your belt and black boots. Other than that, nothing much. On the shirt you had on,  Black Sabbath was written, the name a bit worn out by washing it, and some of the letters were cut a little since you tried to cut your shirt by yourself with your mom’s scissors.

You came at the show alone. You had some friends, or just people you get to talk to from time to time… but they didn’t know you liked metal and rock and music that was forbidden for a young boy like you. They also didn’t know you had a big crush on that guy working part time at the video store. Steve was his name. So you were scared, and didn’t know how people would react. You thought for a second that, maybe some people would be violent toward you. But once you got out of your car and saw people in their own head, wearing ripped jeans, and tank tops and leather jackets, not minding business toward your choice of clothing, you just felt good. You walked toward the entrance, ready to pay for you ticket. Nobody seemed to judge you. Everyone were excited for this concert, at the point it got you excited too.

When you entered the place, it was a big field, a lot of grass, groups of people were waiting, sitting, smoking, from places to others. The stage at the front was huge. You walked around for a bit, saw a bar selling bears and, water. There wasn’t more options really, so you bought yourself some water. It was hotter by the minute. People were getting on stage to check the instruments and sound and lights. You were happy to see nobody from your school. Nobody you would usually see at Hawkins. It got you relieved.

You walked to the middle of the crowd, a bit more to the front where there was some space. You were right behind some guy who had a sort of Dio jean vest and such heavy and messy hair you thought for a second this person could hide all the drugs of the world in it and never get caught. You knew it was a silly and stupid taught, because it made you laugh a little, for no reason. You tried to hide your nervous laugh by drinking a little bit of water. But as you were drinking, that person in front of you, for some reason, turned and suddenly knocked into you.

‘’Jesus H !’’ He said as water splashed right in your face and clothes, your plastic cup now crumpled in your fist. You closed your eyes a second, drying your face by dragging your hand over your eyes and nose.

‘’What the fuck dude !’’ You said in a sigh as you looked up. For a second you froze as you recognized Eddie Munson from school. Now, you wanted to disappear. This guy was probably the worst guy of all Hawkins School. Yeah, maybe he liked metal like you, but he was so loud and always making a ruckus at school during lunch. He always looked mean and made fun of things that weren’t funny to laugh at. But for some reason, he looked sorry and nervous from his clumsiness, and for once you thought maybe he wasn’t that mean.

‘’I’m sorry ! I didn’t mean to… Listen I’m going to get you some paper towels and a new cup of water… Wait… Y/N ?’’

You didn’t respond, you didn’t know what to do, you wanted to run and hide, but the crowd was getting more dense and there was not much place for running. You thought for a second there was still a chance to hide, but you stayed and decided to respond. ‘’Huh… Munson…’’ You said in a shaky voice. You felt his eyes drag to your now wet shirt, then to your belly, that was clearly shown to the whole world right now. You faked to cross your arms, just a bit lower than usual, just to hide his view from your skin and looked away for a second.

‘’Yeah ! Huh, didn’t know you liked Black Sabbath. I mean… Who knew you liked actual music, I thought you’d be more into…’’

‘’Bowie ? Cindy Lauper ? Kate Bush ? The church choir ?’’ You said, looking right into his eyes. ‘’I’m not… What most people think I am.’’

‘’I mean… I’m sorry I misunderstood you for a while.’’ He nervously smiled a little, resting his hand on the back of his head and scratching it. He seamed a bit, uncomfortable by the situation. Something inside you just felt bad for him. But, you didn’t felt as uncomfortable as you’d imagine you would. ‘’It’s ok. A lot of people think that too, not just you. And anyways, it’s not as if I screamed to the whole town I love metal, what are the chances you would’ve known ?’’ You said, throwing the cup on the floor.

‘’I don’t know if it’s ok actually. Judging a book by its cover… I guess it can’t be helped and everyone does that at some point.’’

You shrugged, you didn’t really know what to say to that. It was true, as you judged Eddie yourself, for who he was. You felt bad, as you realized you too can’t help it sometimes. ‘’Nice shirt ! By the way, you made it look very metal ! I apologize I ruined it.’’ He said, looking a bit nervous and shy.

‘’Thanks, I made it myself and huh… It’s ok it’s just water. I like… Your vest. Did you sew the Dio shirt yourself ?’’ You asked, curious. That made him laugh in silence. For a second, his smile made you feel a bit strange. It was cute.

‘’Well, I didn’t sew it, I actually glue it. And ripped the armes off. Looks cool huh ?’’ He said, looking very proud of himself. You also could see some pins on his vest. Iron Maiden, W.A.S.P, all those groups you listen to from time to time.

‘’Yeah !’’ Then there was this awkward silence between you two. Only the loud crowd was breaking it.

Then, saved by the bell, the whole crowd started to scream and shout, as the band that was to play tonight came on stage. You smiled and tried to look, as the crowd started to push you forward, in chances to get closer to their favorite singers and musicians. At that moment, you turned to see if Eddie followed you, but the crowd just, made him disappear.

——

Tonight was a total blast. Your throat hurt because you sang and screamed so loudly. You jumped, you danced, your head banged along the beat of the music. The heat of the moment didn’t stop you and made you feel so free. You never felt so good in your life, nobody gave a shit about you, about your sexuality, about your clothes, about your dreams, about your whole life. There was only you and the music that drummed into your whole body, making you wish it would never end.

But the show took an end. It was now dark, it was night, and people started to walk away. You made your way to the bar to grab yourself a cup of water and tiredly made your way to the waking lot. There, before you could take your car and go, you just took your cigarette out and got ready to smoke.

And there’s always a but. Your lighter was out. It just didn’t work every time you tried to light it. You sighed and looked around for other smokers that might have a light. You thought of abandoning your search for the light as you saw Eddie next to his van. He was clearly smoking something else then a cigarette. You thought you wouldn’t ask him, it was to awkward to come up at him and ask just like this. But it was probably the only face that would be nice to you. So you made your way to him, preparing yourself mentally for speaking up.

‘’Hey, Eddie. Do you have some fire ?’’ You asked, showing your cigarette to hime.

‘’And you smoke ?’’ Was the first thing he said, putting his hand in his back pocket then retrieving his lighter. He light it and hand it to you, you leaned in and here you were, for some reason, lighting your cigarette, looking right at him while he was looking right at you. You felt hotter now than you did before. Why did it make you feel some type of way ? God after this long night it just felt so good to just feel the breeze and smoke something that would calm you down. You sighed a second.

‘’Thanks Eds.’’ You said with a small smile. He get his lighter back to its initial place then nods.

‘’Pleasure to help.’’ Then again, this silence. This heavy silence. You couldn’t take so much silence after this loud show, so you just asked.

‘’Did you like the show ?’’ You said, smoke coming out of your mouth.

‘’Hell yeah I did ! My neck hurt so much !’’ He said in a laugh.

‘’Yeah, same. Never felt so… Free in my entire life. Can’t really find a way to explain it.’’ You said, without really thinking of what you just said.

‘’Really ? Was it your first ?’’ He asked sucking on his joint.

‘’Yeah… I mean, first time at a metal show. Don’t think the Christmas Choir show count as one.’’ You said, making Eddie laugh.

You finished your cigarette and was ready to go, but Eddie hand you over his joint.

‘’Want some ?’’ He proposed. You never tried it before, but weren’t scared to do so. So you took the joint between your fingers and took a puff. The unknown substance made you cough a little.

‘’Shit, the fuck.’’ You said, giving it back to him. He looked right at you, small smile on the side. Then, you realized that you are sharing it with him, as he slowly put the end of the joint between his two lips. You find yourself looking at his mouth, but look away, at your feet, fast so you don’t get caught. You hear him snort.

‘’Who knew Y/F/N liked metal and enjoys smoking.’’

‘’Everyone smoke.’’

‘’No… But. I have a question.’’ He said, leaning on his van and looking at his shoes. The way he was standing made you feel weird. He looked, hot.

‘’Ask away.’’ You said, holding a hand to your hip, waiting for the worst.

‘’Why are you hiding yourself ?’’ He asked, making you go silent. You didn’t really wanted to respond to that. ‘’I mean. At first, at school I really thought you were some… random student who study so much you never go out.’’ He added.

‘’Thats, kinda true honestly. But… I don’t know, I don’t feel the urge to make myself some friends and to go out with them. Do the world really need to know about me ? Can’t I have a peaceful life without… People judging me and the way I look or judging the things I like?’’ You said shrugging.

‘’No, indeed… You know you’re right.’’ He said, nodding. ‘’I guess it depends on the person. If someone is thrust worthy or not. Like, I open up a lot to my friends and my uncle. I guess some things are meant to be kept for myself, but, people get to know me and appreciate me the way I am. And if I open up to that damn Jason Carver… Well, you know what would happen. He would probably chase me down with a baseball bat.’’ He said in a snort.

‘’You don’t open up to your parents ?’’ You asked, curious as why he only mentioned his uncle.

‘’Curious are you ? I see. Mmh nah, my old man is not… Really kind, if I might say.’’ You nodded, looking at your shoes, crossing your arms over your chest.

‘’Sorry… Didn’t mean to…’’

‘’Nah it’s ok ! What about you ? Do you open up to your parents ?’’ He asked, as curious as you. You felt heavy on your shoulders, you didn’t like to talk about family. So you kept silent, and closed yourself up, again. ‘’Sorry… Huh. Wrong question.’’ He said, with a soft voice and playing nervously with his hair.

But you didn’t speak at that either, you just nodded, slowly. Seeing you like this, Eddie throws his joint to the floor and step on it to put it out. Then he walks toward you. ‘’You don’t have to open up to me. It’s not something I should force you to do. If someone ever forces you to open up, it’s… Nasty stuff. But know that I was happy to know more about the ever brilliant Y/N. It was fun talking to you.’’ He said, putting a hand on your shoulder for a short moment. Seeing you didn’t respond yet, he got worried even more.

‘’No for real you alright ? It’s not my joint I hope. I swear it’s just weed, nothing else. Need a ride home ?’’

That made you smile a little. You said, shaking your head. ‘’No ! It’s not your fault. I’m just… Thinking too much, that’s all!.’’

‘’Oh ! Then… Think less ! It’ll worry me.’’ It made you laugh a little, making him smile back at you. ‘’There you go ! Beautiful smile !’’

You looked at him for a moment. I could you ever think Eddie was the worst person of all Hawkins ? He was so kind, and innocent. His eyes sincere and caring. Maybe he was loud, but goofy and friendly. That made you feel… Like every time you used to look at Steve. You felt at ease, to finally talk about yourself, without heavy judgment.

‘’My dad thinks… I dress weird.’’ You finally said, in a sigh. ‘’He think I’m weird. That I talk weird. That I deserve… Therapy. For who I am. And what stops the world for thinking the same as him ? Nothing… Sometimes it gets violent. And my mom don’t do much. She always says to listen to my dad, as I’m the second man of the house…’’

‘’You know what I would do if I were you ?’’ He said, smile growing on his face. You shook your head, scared of what he might say about your confession. He then shows you his middle finger. At first you thought it was toward you, but his eyes were reassuring. ‘’I’de flip ‘em the bird, and stay the same way I am right now. If nothing stop them from being stupid asses, then nothing should stop us from being fucking great people. You hear me ? Nothing should stop you from being who you truly are.’’

You stayed silent, you both looked at each others eyes, and you smiled at him. ‘’Thanks’’ you murmured softly.

‘’And… If your dad is… If anyone gets violent toward you… Just… Tell me.’’ He said, getting a bit closer to you. Without thinking, you bit your lip, your cheeks feeling hot.

‘’Hu… Hum sure. I mean, in hopes you get to have a nice civilized chit chat with them.’’ It made him smile and snort.

‘’Yah. Imma try my best to send them my best regards.’’

It was pretty late now, it was passed midnight when you looked at your watch. You started to feel your heartbeat raise. The way he was looking at you felt so, personal and intimate. And yet, it was a look no one gave you before. You slowly started to back away from him, your hand scratching the back of your head, feeling your clumsiness and shy side surface.

‘’I need to go home. It’s getting late and it’s a school night… I mean, day. We have school tomorrow. I mean, today, it’s already past midnight. Haha.’’ He snorted at you.

‘’That’s what you’re most worried right now ?’’ He asked looking at you slowly taking your way to your car.

‘’I mean… Kinda. I… Really gotta go !’’

‘’Maybe you could come and sit with me tomorrow, at lunch. I don’t mind your presence. You’re pretty cool !’’ He said in a soft voice.

‘’Yeah ! Will do !… Huh.’’ You smiled at him and waved your hand at him. ‘’Tomorrow then.’’ You said turning and leaving to your own car.

‘’See you pretty boy !’’ He said, biting his lower lip.

#eddie munson #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson x male reader #joseph quinn #joseph quinn fluff #joseph quinn fanfic #joseph quinn imagine #stranger things #stranger things imagine #stranger things fluff #stranger things fanfic

[and-stir-the-stars]

Other small questions about zombie Evan....

What's his favorite show?

You mentioned before that moving hurts him, How much does it hurt. is it enough hurting that he just never moves?

Does he ever go outside like ever?

His favorite show... hmmm... well, he wouldn't like comedies or cartoons. He's an emotional, traumatized wreck and doesn't have it in him to laugh anymore. Humor is lost on him, drowned in numbness and fear and pain. Even if he could laugh, the movement would hurt.

He doesn't want to watch sad things. He's sad enough already. Sometimes a certain type of sad thing will resonate with him, make him feel understood and less lonely, but mostly, they just make him feel worse.

Adventure genres are out for the most part, too. They're filled with so much violence and horror. Evan's had quite enough of that.

Family dramas make him feel sad and lonely.

I think the thing he feels safest while watching would be something informative, like a documentary. If any exist in the 90s (when SL takes place), he would probably watch a show detailing all of NASA's latest discoveries and explaining space. Evan might be too young to understand most of it, but at least he likes the pretty pictures of space. He'd watch nature documentaries, too, if not for the scary scenes of animals hurting and killing each other.

For your other questions. Every movement Evan makes hurts. He can feel every bone grinding together with each movement, with no muscle there to facilitate it. Moving his hands is the worst; there's so many small bones there, grinding together, so many clicking out of place and into a wrong, uncomfortable, painful position each time he twitches his hand even the slightest.

Then again, the pain is mostly in his head. Like phantom limb pains. There's been many times when Evan’s skin has ripped and his limbs popped off entirely, and Evan never even noticed. He would look down and there his arm is, unattached, dangling in place only by his sleeve. Evan goes to take another step, except he doesn't realize the aching in his leg is a phantom limb pain, that his leg is gone; he "places" a foot that doesn't exist anymore on the ground and faceplants on the floor. The impact chips his fragile teeth, unhinges his barely re-attached lower jaw and sends it skittering all the way across the room; new cracks form in Evan’s skull. Maybe he has a couple of tear-like cracks running down from his eye sockets from this incident.

So, Evan doesn't move. It hurts too much, and he's so fragile. Both he and Mike are scared that Ev will hurt himself. Evan doesn't do much more than sit on the couch, which is ironic, really. Because Evan had a collapsed trachaea as a kid, and it meant that Ev couldn't breathe very easily; he would start wheezing and gasping at the slightest strain, and so spent more time watching tv and sitting stationary playing with his plushies and reading, rather than running around outside like other kids. In that way, Evan’s afterlife isn't so very different from his life-- or rather is a more twisted mirror of what his life once was.

He doesn't go outside. Mike feels so guilty for the state Evan is in, but then again, he doesn't fight Ev too much on the never going outside thing. How can either of them ever go outside again when living like this?

#Did i name this au? #Can't remember #Either way this au really needs a name... #tw body horror #evan afton support center

[likeafairytale]

"I'll wait for you. I always wait for you." - Nathaniel to Achilles

❛Well, maybe you shouldn't...❜

❛What?..❜

Achilles said nothing more. The words were stuck inside his throat. This was probably the more difficult thing he ever had to do, but he knew, deep down, he had no other choice. The demigod saw the puzzled look on Nathaniel's face, as if he did not understand his words. Maybe he truly did not, or maybe he was playing dumb. In any case, Achilles knew he had to explain, but it was so hard...

He couldn't look at the siren in the eyes, so he looked around, trying to find something to focus his attention on. All he found was his scalpel laying on the table, and he was wondering if that will be the weapon with which Anastasia will kill him in a few hours. 'ah, dying by your own instrument! That's quite poetic.' he thought, and a sad smile took place on his face. He wondered what Anastasia was doing. As usual, she left him the moment she felt the urge to kill him. She needed to put distance between them for a while, which he hated, he hated being far away from her, but he understood that it was the beginning of her grief process, and he needed to respect that. At least, it let a few hours for him to do what he had to do, meaning breaking up with the love of his life.

❛What do you mean 'maybe you shouldn't'?❜ Nathaniel asked, a bit on edge, probably because he was registering his boyfriend's words.

❛What I mean is...Perhaps you should live your life, instead of waiting for me. Waiting for me does not do good to you...❜

❛How could you know that?❜

The young surgeon didn't answer. He did not want to tell him that not so long ago, he had an interesting discussion with his eldest sister, and that she told him about each time she had to help Nathaniel, because he loses control once Achilles dead. He did not believe her, at first, but she allowed him to go through her memory, and he saw it by himself; the blood, the screams, the dead bodies all around. Entire villages decimated, sometimes. All of that because Achilles dies. The demigod was scared when he saw that, of course he was, but that didn't mean he loved Nathaniel less. He did some pretty horrible things out of love, too, and he couldn't blame his boyfriend for the way he was dealing with grief. All he could do is feeling guilty to be the one who start this spiral.

He did not want to tell him he met with his sister, because he thought it should be his secret, and he didn't want to start some family drama. What a fool. Maybe things would be different if they were talking things out, but Achilles was determined in his decision; the best thing to do was to set Nathaniel free from him. Maybe it was the wrong moment to do so –it definitively was the wrong moment– but he couldn't bare the idea of his boyfriend having to relive that traumatic event once more.

❛All I'm saying is that waiting for me is pointless.❜

❛It's not pointless if it's for you.❜

❛Be realistic, Nathaniel. You are missing out so much just by waiting years for me. And we don't even have the certitude that we'll see each other again!❜

❛That's not true, you said you'll always found me!❜ Now Nathaniel was getting annoyed by the conversation. After a few minutes of silence, he added: ❛Are you going to say the same to Nastya? That she shouldn't wait for you and should live her life instead?❜

❛That's not the same thing, and you know it.❜ Achilles was agitated. Things did not go as he planned in his head. ❛You know that Tya and I are destined to find each other, because she has to kill me all the time.❜

❛... Are you really breaking up with me right now?❜

❛Finally you understand.❜ That was a mean thing to say, but maybe if Nathaniel was angry at him, he won't be too hurt.

❛You're breaking up with me, and you don't even have the courage to look me in the eyes.❜

Nathaniel was right, Achilles was a coward. He did not dare looking at the siren and his hypnotic blue eyes, because he knew he'd be weak. He knew he'll tell him to forget about what he just said, that it was a mistake, and to kiss him before it's too late. But that's not how things should be. Achilles had to set Nathaniel free, he knew it. Sighing a little, the demigod finally raised his head and looked at the siren in the eyes; he had to force himself to not go kiss him so badly that the restriction physically hurt him. For the first time in a while, Achilles wanted to cry. But he knew, or at least he thought, deep down, he was doing the right thing.

❛It was fun the time it lasted, but we have to face it; this is hopeless. I'll die, over and over, and you waiting for me isn't the solution. I want you to be happy, Nathaniel, and I'm not the right person for that.❜

❛You have no right to dictate who's the right person to make me happy!❜ Nathaniel snapped, which quite surprised Achilles. The demigod looked away when he noticed tears in his lover's eyes, and he felt as if his heart was breaking. He hated himself for what he was doing, but he knew it was for the best, Ursula made it clear. ❛Two day ago you had a different speech. You told me we were made for each other, that it was writing in the stars...❜

❛Well, I was wrong.❜ This was a blow for both of them. Both of them were hurt by those words, and once again Achilles had to restrain himself to not take Nathaniel in his arms. The siren came closer to the doctor, and the latter felt his heart beating faster to the proximity. Nathaniel came closer and tried to kiss him, but Achilles stepped back, breaking both his heart and Nathaniel's ones in the process. ❛Maybe you should go...❜

He could see the hurt in the siren's face, and that hurt him, too. He wished he could take everything back, but it was too late for that. For a few minutes, Nathaniel did not move, staying so close to Achilles that he could smell his aftershave, and the demigod knew this smell will haunt him now. Nathaniel did not say anything more, even though he wanted, but he knew how stubborn Achilles was, and it is pointless to argue with him.

❛You are a selfish coward.❜ He simply said

❛I deserve it.❜ Achilles whispered. ❛I can help with the memory, though. If you let me, I ca-❜

❛No!❜ Nathaniel lashed out, making Achilles frowned. ❛You already threw out futur away, I won't let you take our past from me, you won't touch my memories of you.❜

Achilles nodded to that. They stayed silent for a while, none of them wanted to move. For a moment, they both thought it was a bad joke, or a bad dream that they will wake up soon. They will wake up and nothing would have happened. But a knock on the door –probably Nastya checking in– made them realize it was all too real. Without a word, the demigod looked at his former lover storming out of the room, leaving him alone with his heart he broke himself.

#achilles petrova #achilles x nate #nakiel #achilles writing prompt #writing prompt #i don't like it (like always) #but i wanted to write their breakup #because it's sad #they deserve to be happy #but ulla messed w/ ash's head #and now poor baby is confused #and just want to do the right thing #which ends up hurting him and nate #icanbeyourgenie

[rolling-harbinger]

SPOILERS FOR THE NEW EPISODE

It’s so fucked that Belos tells Kikimora to “go find a hole to wither away in”. Not only because he basically told her that he doesn’t care if she goes die somewhere, but also because this is exactly what Hunter tries to do in Eclipse Lake.

That’s what I noticed as well! Almost as if Hunter got the whole idea of digging his own grave by *cough* *cough* someone… Belos probably has told that to criminals and maybe even Hunter many times before, to just wither away in a hole, never to be remembered or cared for, because no one actually cares about you. Just thinking about how much Belos has belittled Hunter, and treated him like he was nothing. How this was Hunters whole life, and it even got to a point where he thought all of this was normal. He thinks dying because of failing a mission is just life. Imagine what other horrible fucked up shit Hunter thinks because of Belos. Belos is so manipulative and emotionally abusive, and Hunter had to deal with that his whole life. Can the show literally stop traumatizing him, like actually? He has like the most fucked up story/ experiences in the show, and it just keeps on getting worse. He grew up as a child soldier, learned how to repress these awful memories to survive. He’s always in survival mode, always acts like everyday is a fight. I don’t think there’s been a true day where he’s ever truly relaxed. He’s had to experience extreme violence and death at such a young age, it all has become numb at this point. The way he was disassociating at the end of Kings Tide, while everyone else looked sad or scared, Hunter had such a blank face, he is just starting to feel nothing. He’s so used to this pain now, he can’t feel anything. He has literally gone through hell and back, but he keeps going and he keeps fighting. (Just with really bad coping mechanisms)

#sorry #I just started rambling about how fucked his life his lmao #the owl house #toh #disney toh #toh hunter #toh disney #the golden guard #toh the golden guard #hunter toh #hunter #toh spoilers

[everythingsinred]

Sorry if you've already brought this up somewhere at some point, but I have two NatsuMikan questions about,,, gregnancy 😬

1) Do you think they'd even want kids? I can imagine that they'd both be hesitant on the idea of having a kid that undoubtedly would have an Alice, even if the academy wasn't chasing families down anymore (which like, that is a thing that was stopped, right? I hope it was because that's literally so traumatic, why is this school so fucking traumatizing)

2) There would be a chance that the kid could get an Alice shape like Natsume's, so like,, that could be rough on his end, like would they even want to do that without knowing how long Natsume has?

I realize that kinda seeps into an idea that people with chronic and/or terminal illnesses can't have families or be happy or something, but I'm just thinking about Natsume's mom, and how young he was when she died. I *heavily* doubt he would remember her death, but I'm certain that he would feel her loss, and I'm just wondering if you think he would go through with it despite that.

Personally, I have a hard time imagining them having a family, but that may be because for the majority of the series, they are children. Whenever I do try to imagine it, my brain just goes into Punnett Square Mode(tm) and tries to figure out what could be dominant traits from what is known, so not much is done there lmao

these are really great questions. to be honest because they never actually talk about it, the answer would be entirely up to headcanon, so there is no right or wrong answer.

also this ended up being rly long and rambly sorry

funnily enough i did mention this topic a lil when i'd reblogged a character question meme thing and someone requested i do all of them (i'd established myself as a natsume aficionado at this point i guess lmao). the relevant part of my answer to question #13 (about what he'd be like as a parent) was:

 i feel like natsume would be hesitant at first to be a dad. like he’d be super happy to find out mikan is pregnant ofc but he’d be hesitant. maybe he wouldn’t voice it. he’d be uncomfortable on several counts: 1) life shortening alices are genetic and he would never want his child to suffer as he has. 2) he’d be scared that he wouldn’t have as much time to spend with his kid as he’d like and would be sad to miss out on important milestones in the case that he dies too young. in my mind the life-shortening alice gets cured after a few years so these become non-issues and thus he gets very happy about having a kid.

something you must know about me is that i HATE the thought of natsume dying like it fully disgusts me--i hate to imagine he dies young. it feels really wrong to me. my brain cannot allow me to view the last little bit of the manga as canon tbh, so it's constructed another canon ending for me that includes the discovery of a cure for the fourth shape. (is it even possible to cure it? i dont CARE.) because of this (delusional) state of mind, i dont rly think of most of the things you mentioned. the cool thing about post-canon is that nobody can really stop you from thinking whatever you want. but i will address all of your points anyway bc theyre valid and then ill give my thoughts on them having kids, though im not an expert and certainly not the deciding opinion on what headcanons other ppl should adopt.

its a good point to bring up, discussing what happy endings exist for ppl with chronic or terminal diseases in media, even if he still has the same alice shape. my sister zoe has type 1 diabetes and we've had conversations about this exact thing (not about natsume; about her). it's a complicated issue for her, because even if type 1 diabetes isn't terminal (anymore), it is a huge source of grief and upset for her AND it's genetic. it ultimately comes down to each individual person, i think. some disabled or sick people want cures, others don't. some want children, some don't. because each person is different, what each person wants for their future or even in the media they consume is different as well.

your first question reminds me of yuka, actually, whose dream was to start a family and live a happy life. when she finds out her baby has an alice, she tries to steal it because she wants mikan to have a good life, and not suffer as she had, until kaoru stops her. it's definitely a valid concern, but i don't know how natsume or mikan feel about it in terms of having their own kid. personally im still not sure how the academy has actually changed since mikan left. we don't really get much of a breakdown. that being said, even though mikan said "i trust narumi-sensei" and that she didnt regret coming to the academy in kageki, im pretty certain that if they did become parents, they definitely wouldnt want their kid taken away from them.

which would mean the academy would have to change fundamentally to allow BOTH 1. parents to decline sending their kids to alice academy without being ceaselessly harassed and scouted AND 2. parents who do choose to send their kids to alice academy to get full visiting and contacting privileges WHICH SHOULD GO WITHOUT SAYING?? if a mom hears her son is crying himself to sleep bc he misses her, she should be allowed to call him or visit or send him a care package. (you know. how normal boarding schools work.)

maybe if the school changed in this way (and hey, maybe it did), then i could see natsume and mikan feeling a bit better about having a kid.

the next point, about natsume's alice shape being genetic... yeah its pretty rough. natsume the martyr, who always thinks of others, would never EVER have kids if he thought there was even a chance his child might suffer like he did.

so i guess my answer is... depending on what you want to believe happens after the ending, natsume and mikan MIGHT have kids and they MIGHT not. it entirely depends on what developments take place. ppl have been coming up w headcanons for their future even before the manga ended, anything from completely ignoring natsumes alice shape to having mikan and their potential kids visit his grave (not my favorite premise tbh).

ig my idea of natsume having his alice shape "cured" or undone or whatever comes from wanting one of my favorite characters to live a long happy life. its not specifically for the outcome of children or anything like that. its just worth noting that the academy is also a research institute, that there's healing alices in this world, and that you can make up whatever you want bc its a fantasy setting where ppl have magical powers and are able to undo death. (yes this is me justifying my staunch belief that natsume doesnt die in his early twenties.)

personally, i dont mind them having kids. its not rly something focal to me bc theres so much else going on in the story and with their characters for me to think about that the idea of kids is so far away. still, sometimes i like reading a lil fic about them having a kid, canon or au. its kinda cute. i also kinda like it in that if i believe they could have kids, that means that natsume MUST live and his alice must no longer be an issue (bc like we both agree on, natsume simply would not have kids if he thought the child could inherit his alice shape). in my head, i kinda always assumed they would? its made possible by my delusions. if you read the questions post i linked up there, i said "it's non-negotiable" but that was mainly in regards to higuchi maintaining in the memorial book that natsume wouldnt live a very long life. again, natsume WOULDN'T have kids if he knew they had a chance of suffering like he did, so that means if he ever DID have kids, then that chance must no longer exist. idk if that makes sense.

again, im really actually not an expert. i would even say "i didnt create these characters" except that that would mean higuchi's say should be final and i dont want her say to be final. really, its a fictional world w fictional characters. so if u wanna be delusional like me and find it difficult to see higuchi's ending without saying "but thats not what it looks like to ME," then go for it! we can be happy together. but also if these aspects of natsume and mikan and the academy feel inseparable from your own beliefs of the story, then thats fine too. honestly theres rly no right or wrong answer when it comes to post-ending headcanon. ppl can disagree. dont take me saying "i want natsume to have kids so he can spite higuchi" or whatever as a way of judging or disapproving of the headcanon that he wouldnt have kids. its a plausible outcome that he wouldn't. i just feel like i need to say that bc my opinion doesnt rly weigh more than anybody else's

i must say though: thank you for sending this ask. i have been having a rough day and coming home to answer this took my mind off the whole situation and made me feel so much better <3 thank you

#i did doodle natsumikan children once when i was 14 or 15. i can admit that now #also theres the very real possibility that they could um. get pregnant on accident. #which is a WHOLE OTHER CAN OF WORMS. i dont know if i can comment on that #im sorry for being so unhelpful abt post-ending topics. i HATE the ga ending but i love ga so the ending isnt real to me #in order to cope my brain became incapable of viewing the ending as legitimate. it feels instead like a POTENTIAL ending #rather than The Ending #the real ending (to me) never sent hotaru to another dimension and natsume gets to live bc of an inexplicable but very story-prominent cure #the academy goes through a lot of institutional change bc its built on the exploitation of children as its very premise #in order to become a good place #it must change its base premise as well as most of the ways it works. #i like shiki. i just legit cant believe that a man who used to be in anti academy terrorist group just let it continue on as is #like. hed do something about it. create change. hes a good guy and he still loves yuka theres just no way he wouldnt actually change it #answered #tardytothepardy #ga #god im rly sorry this is so long #tbh i dont actually know how to answer ur question in a satisfying way. the real answer is maybe? who knows? all up to u really

[kaibacorpbros]

Mokuba: 1, 6 and Seto: 18,20?

| sad HC q's | @keithhoward 1. who does your muse hate?

◇ Hate is a very strong word and if all possible, Mokuba tries to avoid having the emotion. It makes him feel vile and evil. He tries so hard to be positive for his own sake and others that feeling hate is like a failure.

But there is a short list of people he truly hates and doesn’t think he’d ever be able to forgive, even if the other party apologized and had since bettered themselves. 

Gozaburo is an easy one. His hatred for him more stems from having to watch all the abuse Seto went through and being unable to stop it, rather than his own experiences with the man. Unfortunately, this has also led him to ignore and downplay the abuse and especially the neglect he received from their adopted father. For when comparing the two experiences to Mokuba it feels like he got off “easy” from the years they spent under Gozaburo’s care. It takes him a long time to realize that comparing their time with the man is comparing apples to oranges and in the end they both were hurt by him and it never should have happened.

Also on that list is the relatives they got passed through before their time in the orphanage. While Mokuba was young, distraught, and traumatized, all their relatives really saw was an annoying little boy. While trying to grieve but being young and lacking any true guide through the process it often caused him to be upset or sensitive to small things, such as someone yelling at him to talking with a sharp tone. It would upset him which would annoy his relatives more, and after enough times he ‘learned’ the best thing to do was stay quiet around them and try his hardest to be invisible.

A lot of the specific memories have faded with time or been repressed by his mind, but the effects still ripple into his present day life. The orphanage, while it had its own challenges, was almost a welcome  change because at least there he didn’t have to deal with them. He’s not no desire to see any of them ever again, and luckily for him Seto has managed to keep all their relatives out of their lives.

6. how does your muse handle loneliness?

◇ Not... well. Loneliness often comes hand in hand with sadness with Mokuba so often it depends on the level of energy that allows for. If things aren’t too bad he may try and force himself to go out and do something spontaneous in hope that it cheers him up or he can find someone to at least have a decent conversation with even if nothing more comes of it.

However, it’s more common for him to curl up somewhere quiet by himself and try and distract himself with a game or mindlessly sort something (like his Capmon) or even just be on his phone without really doing much but hoping maybe he’ll hear from someone.

18. does your muse suffer from nightmares? how often? what about?

Answered here!

20. what is something your muse wants to tell others, but is too afraid to?

◇ He doesn’t really have the words for it himself--or, perhaps depending on how you look at it, he is trying to communicate this but is doing so in a Seto way, something that few others understand or are able to interpret correctly--but if he did and didn’t have to worry about it putting him at risk by crumbling the persona he’s built up for so long--

Interact with me. I’m lonely, sit across from me and play a game. Most don’t understand or get scared off. But if you have the willpower for it, sit across from me again and again. I want to feel alive.

#keithhoward #(pArdon me as i just whip out an novel about Mokuba lmao) #(and Kaiba would no way in hell admit he's lonely but he is : ") #little bro [mokuba] #big bro [seto] #little lost things [headcanon] #abuse cw #child abuse cw #neglect cw #(also by seto getting the relatives out of their lives i mean like...with a restraning order and etc) #(not like... he ordered a hit or something lmao) #(asks)

[roldanrabbit]

SnK AU Part 1/???

Yes. I did it.

SnK is one of my favorite animes and the one that left me with the most trauma, so I couldn't give up the idea of ​​making an AU out of it.

It's one of the most emblematic, along with the one from Pacific AU (Harry Potter) so I thought it would be a good idea for it to be the first.

In this AU Eva is Levi's sister (he's my favorite character, ok?). The truth is that always seemed to me that Levi's story was overwhelmingly sad and horrible full of trauma from beginning to end and I wanted to bring at least a little joy to his world with Eva.

The story is in general the same. Eva would be 2 years younger than Levi, she is the daughter of Kuchel and a soldier who has been a client of Kuchel.

When Kuchel dies and Kenny comes, Eva would be young, terribly young (I emphasize, she is 2 years younger than Levi) poor kid, honestly

Kenny ends up teaching them both how to survive and when he's sure they'll survive, he leaves them to fend for themselves.

Eva is smart enough to survive in the underground. However, there are several points to clarify in this regard.

Eva's traumatic gift.

Eva is pretty blind, I'm not talking about completely blind, but she wears glasses and she really needs them, Kenny cared enough to threaten some craftsman and have them make the girl a pair of glasses, but little else, it's bad enough. Eva manages to develop something to supplant the incredible need to see clearly: ultra-instinct hearing.

It sounds wow, it's wow, it's trauma.

Eva has a terrible fear of abandonment because of Kenny, as the insistent assertions of Eva's burden to Levi if her eyesight got any worse were horrible for a little girl's psyche.

Once, in one of the many times that Kenny, like the responsible guy that he clearly is'nt, took the kids to a black market place in the subway, the following situation developed:

Kenny, Eva and Levi entered a rather gloomy place. A tall and somewhat old woman, she looked at nothing, towards the front, practically without moving or making any gesture, she spoke

"Hmm, you've come back through the Sina sewers, how pathetic..."

Eva was pretty scared, Levi was holding her hand, both of them protecting each other, two scared little kids in the lion's den.

Kenny smiled

"Ahh, nonsense, I'm just passing through... Can't you see?"

A dagger flew, close to her ear, cutting a few strands of hair.

"I'm blind and I could still kill you. Get the hell out Kenny. You're not welcome here."

"Tsk"

The woman with the lost gaze remained unperturbed on the other side of the counter.

"Don't try to take anything that doesn't belong to you, I'll listen to you"

Eva was impressed, the woman was scary but... But she could see you without seeing, that's even possible?

When they were away from there, Eva tugged at Kenny's sleeve to get his attention.

"Kenny, was that woman blind?"

"Yes, brat. That old lady has tricks up her sleeve."

"She could see you... How could she see you if she was blind?"

"Stop asking stupid questions kid, I don't know"

The conversation died there, however Eva was curious about it.

Maybe... maybe she could do that too

to be continue...

#incorrect snk #snk levi #snk fanfiction #snk #sketch #alternate universe #kenny ackerman #kuchel ackerman #levi ackerman #aot #snk erwin

[space-ghost-with-the-most]

Bruno disappears in the walls, so alma is left w a pair of “abandoned” twins, one with a Gift and one without. What would happen if she tried to separate the two? Like tried to send Mirabel away to her mom’s family but kept Camilo with the family saying it was more important to keep him with them cause he had powers? They’d be so young I feel like this could only work for like an earlier chapter of a story and not a whole fic??

Oh Dios mío.

Despite the twins being confused, scared and heartbroken they'd give Abuela hell if she tried that. What I mean is, they wouldn't accept being separated sitting down, they'd be kicking and screaming and doing everything in their 5 yr old power to stay together. They are little kids who just had a horribly disastrous birthday ceremony in front of EVERYONE in their village and the next day their father is gone (like Mirable's door), they are clinging to each other no matter what. They basically went through something very traumatic, they aren't getting split.

I feel like even Pepa and Julieta would stand up to Abuela as well, because they can see how torn up and upset these kids are. Camilo and Maribel really only have each other if Bruno leaves.

Also, if that happened, Camilo, a five year old, would be harsh, because he's lashing out while scared and upset. He would wholeheartedly denounce his gift, to Alma's face, if that would ensure he sticks with his sister.

Luciana's parents would also be pretty against splitting them, they only agree to raise both or visit both, they aren't taking one twin to the coast.

It would certainly be a sad, stressful and really long ordeal. A lot of things that aren't really meant would be said, more issues would come to light and maybe more strained relationships than in canon.

#papa with twins au #papa of two au #papa bruno #papa bruno au #encanto #encanto disney #disney encanto #bruno madrigal #encanto au #bruno encanto #camilo madrigal #maribel madrigal #alma madrigal #answered

[naynay5155]

C!Tommy’s Storyline With C!Dream Is A Very Concerning Depiction Of Abuse

Wild Title 

Okay, I’m sure that this probably isn’t too new information for anyone paying attention to the overall story of the DreamSMP, especially C!Tommy’s storyline, but I figured I’d give my two cents for this anyways. 

C!Tommy is an Abuse Victim who has gone through horrific stuff at the hands of C!Dream. This is not an arguable fact. regardless of if C!Dream had reasons for doing what he did, if C!Dream also later gets abused, or if ultimately the abuse portrayal could be considered in some ways flawed or unrealistic, that stuff doesn’t ultimately matter. Because we’ve seen what happened to C!Tommy during Exile, have seen the physical, emotional, and mental abuse he was put through. Just because they won’t call it Abuse doesn’t mean it isn’t Abuse.

Now, C!Tommy being an abuse victim is an interesting idea from a storytelling perspective. It has a lot of potential to lead to genuine character development, or to affect relationships and story beats in interesting ways. And it could be an interesting way to really say something about abuse and coping with it. 

And to an extent, an argument could be made that it has, though I’d argue the exact way those are handled in canon, but not the point. The point is, abuse is not just something that you get to gloss over. If you want to include themes of abuse in the story, a story you are making available to the public for millions to see, then there needs to be a clear and obvious message being portrayed with including abuse in the story. Preferably, that abuse is bad, and can have majorly negative effects on anyone, especially children. We don’t always get that lucky, but whatever. 

But, from my months of watching the story of the DreamSMP, and trust me I’ve been here a long while, I haven’t seen C!Tommy’s abuse being handled very... well. I could, of course, be wrong in some aspects, and maybe be misremembering stuff since this dumpster fire has been happening for a year now, and feel free to correct me or bring up more points if you know something I don’t. But, I still think that overall, I have a point of view that should be considered. 

So basically, C!Tommy is an abuse victim, right? this is easy to see, very obvious in the way he acts and behaves. Or... is it? 

Abuse is a complex topic and one that, in real life, presents itself in all sorts of forms. Many abuse victims were raised in unloving homes and ended up becoming more vulnerable to abuse later on in life as a result of that. Others never properly learned how to express emotions or turn people down and got taken advantage of. Others were abused from the start, and develop various ways of coping and dealing with that, even ways that they might not be fully conscious of themselves. Abuse is not a one-way street, it could hardly be considered a street at all given how diverse and differing the people who experience it end up developing into are. 

So I’m not saying that, if C!Tommy were a real person, that he isn’t “Being traumatized enough” or that “Why isn’t he more like what I expect him to be like?”. That is not what I’m saying at all.

What I am saying, is that C!Tommy is a fictional character who exists within a narrative, a story. And in a good story, consistency is half the battle. I, as the audience consuming the story, need to be able to look at C!Tommy and pick up on and understand the effects abuse has had on him. And these effects need to be consistent, otherwise, as an audience member, I’m going to get confused and start having questions about why he acts one way here but doesn’t somewhere else.

I also need to be able to clearly see and understand, by being given narrative stepping stones, if something is changing for his character.

As the saying goes, “Show don’t tell”. C!Tommy can’t just say he “Goes to Puffy for Therapy” offhandedly one time, as a means of handwaving away why he doesn’t really consistently act as traumatized as he used to even though it’s literally only been a few weeks, or months at most. To explain how he can jump back between being really sad and depressed about something, to joking about Women and Twitter. It seems weird if he’s able to just so seamlessly, so effortlessly, go back and forth. Almost as if he’s bouncing between OOC and IC, but that’s a whole other discussion. 

Sure, C!Tommy is representing real mental health issues, but he is, ultimately a Fictional Character existing in a story. I need to be given signs, proof, foreshadowing, to explain when he has certain reactions and behaviours in order to understand his character. And these need to be consistent, otherwise we get plotholes and general confusion.

I criticize the inconsistency and the offscreen handwaving because it’s generally not very good writing. It’s the same reason I disliked Eret’s basically off-screen-sort-of-redemption-arc. It’s the same reason people dislike it when Villains of previous seasons suddenly come back as fully reformed good guys for seemingly no reason. There is no arc, no development, no progress is shown to us. 

Because when you’re telling a story about a character having some major change or developing in some way, or having an important character trait, if I don’t see it on screen, then it didn’t happen. How am I supposed to root for C!Tommy’s progress, or understand what he’s doing to progress, if a never see his coping mechanisms? His therapy appointments? 

You can’t just say something, or inconsistently portray something, and expect me to jump through hoops to connect these nearly transparent dots that keep getting thrown around. 

Show don’t tell. Show me Tommy getting better, because otherwise you’re just telling me he made character development, and showing me this completely different character as proof. No, last I remembered C!Tommy was having panic attacks and yelling when C!Dream was even mentioned. You can’t tell me that a day later he can interact normally after days of being in the prison and a month of being dead.

Or, if you are gonna have him flip flop back and forth, don’t have it be so sudden and jarring, give an explanation. Is he faking being fine? Does he have memory issues? C!Tommy doesn’t read to me as the type who’s good at suppressing his emotions, he wears his heart on his sleeve. So you’re going to have to explain, clearly, in a way that isn’t ambiguous, what’s happening with C!Tommy here.

You’re not really saying anything about the abuse C!Tommy goes through, if all of that trauma is automatically wiped from the story when the writers get too lazy or too scared to keep it in. At best, you are showing abuse and trauma for the sole purpose of showing it, with no intention of properly dealing with and addressing it in the story. At worst, you are basically just doing torture porn. 

Pain, Hurt, Trauma for the sake of it. Not with any goal in mind. Just for the drama of it, or to hurt the audience. 

And then your audience is just supposed to take that content in uncritically, and they gain no true understanding of how abuse victims survive and cope after their traumatic treatment.

Exile Arc sure did a good job at making C!Tommy suffer. But as soon as that arc ended, a lot of the stuff that happened in it went completely glossed over and unaddressed for a long while. That might have been fine in the lead-up to Doomsday, since a lot of plot stuff had been going on and stopping to handle C!Tommy’s issues might (Might is heavily doubted cause it certainly isn’t impossible) mess with the pacing a bit. But then after Doomsday, there isn’t really any excuse to put it off. Because nothing was really happening for a good while, and nobody had anything to do plotwise. 

And this became even more true with C!Dream being locked in Prison. Nothing was really happening, so what was stopping the story from taking the time to properly discuss and deal with this stuff?

Well, nothing really. So, the Hotel Arc happened. And oh boy, was it a mess. 

So, C!Tommy being angry at C!Dream for the abuse and trauma he has suffered at Dream’s hand isn’t an issue. It’s an incredibly common thing for victims to feel angry at their abusers, and to even go so far as to wish for vengeance against them in some way. And that’s a totally valid and fine feeling. 

You’re hurting, you’re scared, you’re in pain. I get that. When we’re hurting, we don’t always act rationally or healthily.

But, ultimately, that rage, and hurt, and want for vengeance is not a healthy thing to hold onto. In many circumstances with an abuse victim wanting to inflict pain back on their abuser, we run into various problems. 

For one, getting vengeance on your abuser is quite frequently going to give you more emotional pain than it will fulfilment. Especially if you are young, or are letting this want for vengeance take over your entire livelihood. It does you no good ultimately, to attempt to bring pain to the person who hurt you, because not only will you often be unsuccessful, you frequently won’t find emotional healing and stability in that. 

(The only exception to this rule being if ignoring them or moving on from them isn’t an option for you right now.)

Actions have consequences, and if you invest more time in that person who hurt you, then you have no time to work on yourself or the relationships around you. You have no time to heal, and this can become self-destructive.

Spending time around an abuser, as a victim, is in all likelihood just going to upset you more. You’re retraumatizing yourself by spending time around them, and as you make attempts to give them their comeuppance, you could possibly end up internalizing the methods they used on you, and just end up perpetuating the cycle of abuse again. 

And even if you have no problem with doing that to this particular person, consider how fully internalizing these abusive behaviours could affect your friends or family. Frequently, even when they don’t mean to, abuse victims can internalize the things that they went through and then use those same behaviours against people in their life later on. Being shitty to your support system because of what you went through isn’t a good move, for you or them.

Basically just, an Abuse Victim has more to gain from working on themselves while finding ways to heal and overcome their trauma and abuse, than they do spending their time and energy on the abuser. Its frequently unhealthy, distressing, and self-destructive to indulge in that too much.

(Of course, I don’t speak for everyone, but from what iIve looked into and seen, this is the healthiest method of actually healing from your abuse. That doesn’t mean you just... leave your abuser alone and never address or talk about what they did, you don’t let them get away with it, of course not. It just means you don’t waste your mental well being and time obsessing over someone, especially someone who has hurt you so much.

You deserve better than that. You deserve to heal.)

Now, let’s get back to C!Tommy. 

C!Tommy, instead of finding a proper means of coping with his issues (proper therapy, diagnosis for his issues, forming and maintaining healthy support systems, focusing on things he loves, etc) is shown to repeatedly focus back on C!Dream. When he was making Big Innit Hotel, it did seem like he was to an extent finding ways to cope with his shit. He was still kinda shitty and his hotel was not exactly made and run by the most morally great standards, though I suppose I can’t expect too much when he is a very traumatized teen and doesn’t really know what he’s doing. 

But, ultimately, this all fell apart when he got locked in Pandora’s Vault with C!Dream. Arguably, it was already falling apart the moment he decided to keep pursuing C!Dream even when he was locked up.

See, the thing is, C!Tommy can never just… have trauma. Having trauma that he can healthily and methodically work through is something that for him as a Character, is basically impossible. His character is an angry one, one built on spite and childishness, and who holds the mantle, unfortunately, of “Spunky Male Protagonist In A YA Novel”. So, his mental health issues can never just be a struggle he has to cope with, especially not when the DreamSMP can never seem to have anything between “A lot is happening right now omg” or “Literally nothing is happening and nobody is playing on the server at all omg”.

Instead, his issues have to be seen as a battle, and they fuel the narrative of the story. Him having been abused by C!Dream cannot just exist as a thing that he as a person has to work through slowly with the help of others around him. It has to be seen as this Epic Triumph Against Evil, another battle of Tommyinnit VS Dream on the DreamSMP, a classic Villain versus Hero fight.

This, of course, isn’t too great. By C!Tommy’s abuse plotline being framed in this manner, it makes it so that C!Tommy is constantly obsessing over his abuser and recklessly throwing himself into dangerous and triggering situations is some attempt at an “Epic Battle With Evil”, rather than this being treated like the self-harm it actually is. And yes, it is self-harm, a form of it. 

C!Tommy uses his trauma and issues as fuel for the story, making it so that its impossible for him to truly progress and a character, and the moment he does start growing, he has to get retraumatized again so he goes right back to where he was.

C!Tommy does not become a better person when he’s around C!Dream, nor does he find any form of fulfilment in being around him. He gets shaky and panicky at just the sight of him. He regularly has violent and explosive outbursts at just the mention of him. When C!Dream talks to him, he gets nervous and basically can’t help but listen due to conditioning he still listens to. 

When C!Tommy went to go visit C!Dream the first time in Pandora’s Vault, he brought with him stacks of TnT. He did it because he wanted to mimic what C!Dream had done to him in Exile, where he would take all of C!Tommy’s newly gained items and blow them up underground for dramatic effect. 

C!Dream did this for control over C!Tommy, to manipulate him, for his suffering.

And C!Tommy wanted to do this to C!Dream, because he was feeling vindictive. 

When C!Tommy got into the prison, he mocked C!Dream, hit him repeatedly, and tried to boss him around. He made him write ridiculous books and verbally berated the man. He did this in a feeble attempt to gain some feeling of control over C!Dream. This, evidently, did not work. At best his success was momentary. And this sense of achievement he gained was gained through projecting his abuse trauma onto someone else.

He repeated the cycle. 

After he got brought back from the dead and let out of the prison, he was much much worse. C!Tommy was now paranoid, anxious, constantly thinking about C!Dream, and had his mindset solely on getting revenge on him, by killing him. 

It got so bad, he ended up doing lacklustre “Exposure Therapy” to help himself not panic when he went into Pandora’s Vault to kill C!Dream. It got so bad he dragged C!Tubbo and C!Ranboo into this, putting them in danger and putting more pressure on another two teenagers’ shoulders. 

It got so bad, that Ghostbur died, C!Sam closed off even more, and C!Wilbur came back. 

Objectively, C!Tommy leaving C!Dream alone would be the better thing for everyone. And yet he keeps repeating the cycle. Because C!Tommy is not meant to grow, learn and heal. He is made to suffer. 

The problem is not so much showing an unhealthy depiction of a mentally ill or traumatized person. Because trauma and mental illness and the effects of abuse are not always pretty, and they shouldn’t always have to be portrayed and pretty or sympathetic to be accurate. 

It becomes a problem when you get this depiction of C!Tommy’s coping being presented uncritically to an audience of a lot of underaged and young people. 

Nobody in canon, whether they be adults or fellow teens, has ever tried to question C!Tommy’s methods for coping. C!Ranboo and C!Tubbo just limply went along with his plans for Exposure Therapy with no consideration of if this was a good idea. No adults really offer to genuinely step in and help C!Tommy deal with his shit, and the ones that do leave him or get corrupted in some way, often leaving him with more trauma as they do. 

C!Puffy’s therapy methods are dubious at best, and the most we ever see of her actually helping C!Tommy is her humouring his toxic behaviours, and C!Tommy making offhanded mentions to vague therapists appointments we never see. 

C!Technoblade stopped giving a shit as soon as C!Tommy walked off the screen. C!Wilbur was dead, and now that he isn’t he certainly isn’t helping C!Tommy. C!Phil isn’t C!Tommy’s dad and has no obligation to do anything for him as a result. C!Ranboo has the backbone of a chocolate eclair. C!Tubbo is too busy repressing his own trauma to help C!Tommy with his. C!Sam is being ruled by the prison and C!Quackity. C!Quackity has become an Ancap. 

Nobody in this story is a reliable or trusted person to C!Tommy, who could properly tell him his methods are unhealthy and give him better alternatives. And as a result, nobody is able to tell the audience that C!Tommy is wrong 

Unreliable Narrators are only effective when the narrative in some way has their unreliableness pointed out or proven to the audience. If you go into a story with the assumption that everybody watching will be able to see past C!Tommy’s POV and not take him at face value, then you are naive. Especially when this fandom is made up of many teens and children. 

I only know C!Tommy’s methods are unhealthy because I care way too much and do my research. A vast majority of the world doesn’t have the same understanding and education on these topics, especially not children and teenagers. A good chunk of people, especially neurodivergent and mentally ill people, could very well take the story at face value and automatically assume that what Tommy’s doing is actually a good coping mechanism because they don’t know any better.

There is no clarification or safety net for preventing misinterpretation. And being of the opinion that “Well, they should know better than to trust a bunch of Minecraft Youtubers for this stuff” or “We can’t expect them to be psychologists! You expect too much” is just… not helping. 

Because I shouldn’t have to explain why children and teenagers, especially those that are using these people to cope, are not always going to make level-headed and common-sense decisions. They will be influenced by these Content Creators, whether we think it’s “Stupid” or not. 

And I can say with certainty that, while yes, this might be a bit much to expect from a bunch of British/American white guys who play Minecraft to handle, may I also point out that nobody fucking made them put this stuff in the story. There are ways to write a story without stepping outside of your realm of true understanding. Nobody begged these MCYTs to go and make torture porn for a 16 year old, nobody asked them to touch on topics they have no fucking clue about. 

They put that in themselves. And we have the right to point out the problems and flaws in it, and criticize them for not handling this stuff better. 

You don’t start applying for a job you don’t meet the requirements for. You don’t start an expensive project you can’t finish. 

You don’t include elements in a story you aren’t willing to fully go through with and address in a proper and sensitive way. 

#hope this makes sense #dreamsmp roleplay #dream smp critical #dreamsmp #dream smp #character analysis #c!tommy #c!dream #tw abuse discussion #tw abuse #negativity #dsmp critical #critical dsmp

[sparkypantaloons]

A Storm

“I promise you.” Bruce had said. “If you come home, I will keep you safe. I will keep them safe. I will keep us whole. I promise.”

Tim is taken. Each of his family react differently.

There’s a rushing in Tim’s ears. Like a waterfall. It’s so loud he can’t see. Can that happen? Can noise affect sight? He doesn’t know.

There’s a hand on his back. Gentle, but firm. He thinks maybe someone is talking to him, but he can’t see. He can’t see anything over the rushing in his ears.

No, that’s not right. He needs to start again. Try again. He squeezes his eyes shut tight, covers his ears, takes a deep breath.

“Tim?” Is it Bruce? Someone’s hands are on Tim’s arms, pulling his hands from his head. The person in front of him is stooping slightly, so they can look him in the eye. “Can you hear me?”

“'m fine.” Tim says. But his eyes can’t focus, it’s too loud in here. “I just need, I… just need t’sleep.” He grimaces, the noise too bright for his eyes.

There’s more sound then. Voices he thinks, but he’s not sure. He can’t see who they belong to. Then there’s a hand around his ankle, gripping him roughly. He flinches in the hold, starts to struggle as his shoes are removed. Then his socks. What is going on?

His feet? What about his feet? He tries to speak, but it’s so loud in here, he can’t form the words. A forehead presses against his, green eyes bore into his own. Jason?

Hands hold his feet to the floor, press down. More talking. It could be shouting now.

The hands let go of his feet. Move to his face. “Your feet, Timmy. Concentrate on your feet.”

Tim opens his eyes. Jason is still there, his bright green eyes, searching and insistent. “'m home?” Tim mumbles.

“Concentrate on your feet, Timmy. What can you feel?”

Tim closes his eyes again. His feet. He can feel… wood. Wooden floor. Wooden floorboards and the thin gaps between them. The Manor floor. The Manor.

“Yeah, Timmy.” Jason says. His hands move from Tim’s face, pull the teenager into a bear hug. “You’re home. You’re home.”

~~

Leslie pushes her glasses back up her nose. Lets out a sigh. “It’s just going to take time, Bruce.” She says. She’s firm, as always. But there’s a softness in her eyes. A sadness. “Like all things.”

Bruce doesn’t speak. Just rubs his face with his hands. Hangs his head.

“Why is he so disorientated?” Dick asks. His right hand is still bandaged up, swollen, but it’s no longer bleeding through.

Jason sucks his teeth from where he’s leaning against the wall, his arms crossed. Leslie and Dick both ignore him.

“Sensory deprivation, especially for so long-- it can take a little while to recover.” Leslie is matter of fact. There’s no point mincing her words. “You have to take it slow.”

“Touch is best to start with.” Jason says, pushing himself off the wall. “It’s grounding.”

Dick, Leslie and Bruce look over at him. He shrugs. “It worked for me.”

A pained look crosses Dick’s face. Leslie interrupts before he can speak. “Let Tim lead, let him set the pace.” Her words hang in the air. “It’ll take time. But he’s strong.” She says. “He’ll pull through.”

~~

Dick wakes up in a sweat, breathless. His right hand is throbbing. He tries to flex his fingers, flinches as his broken knuckles protest. It’s not the worst injury he’s ever had. Not by far. But the way he got it…

He shakes his head, tries to dislodge the memory of a shattered eye-socket, a dislocated jaw, a cracked skull. Tries to shed the jarring realisation that he broke his hand on a man’s face. Tries to make himself at least feel a sense of responsibility for the damage done. He doesn’t.

He makes his way to the kitchen, pads barefoot through the Manor. He pulls an ice-pack out of the freezer, holds it on his aching fist. The cold seeps into his joints, consumes the burn of displaced bone and absent guilt. He feels calmer.

Touch is grounding, Jason had said. Dick doesn’t want to think about how the younger man, his younger brother, knew that. Doesn’t want to know which one of a lifetime of traumatic experiences had taught him that little gem. But he can’t dispute it. The touch of the cold helps.

He makes his way back upstairs. Turns left, instead of right. To Tim’s room.

The door is pulled to. The most Alfred would allow. Bruce had been adamant about staying by Tim’s side, so had Jason, so had Dick. Alfred had refused all of them.

“Wayne Manor is the safest, most secure building on the eastern seaboard, if not the entire continent. None of you will do Master Timothy any good if you don’t get some sleep. He will be safe, in the meantime.”

Bruce had tried to protest, Jason had made threats, all but hissed at Alfred’s suggestion. The older man hadn’t budged. “I will stay with Master Timothy. In case he wakes.”

He wasn’t wrong. They needed rest, all of them. The search had been… long. Too long. Desperate, and increasingly frantic with each passing hour. And there had been so many hours.

He swallows down a memory. Of the howl that felt like it had been ripped out of his soul when they found Tim. Dick hadn’t even realised the noise had come from his own mouth, didn’t notice the tears of rage on his own face, as he took his hands to the men holding Tim captive. Broke his hands on the men who had taken his brilliant, darling brother. Locked him in the dark, alone, for too, too long.

Dick hovers outside Tim’s door. Holds his ear to the wood. He can’t hear anything over his own breathing, his own heartbeat.

“Just open it, Dickhead.” It’s Jason. He's dressed in a spare pair of Bruce’s pyjamas. Despite his size they're somehow still too big for him. It makes him look young. Too young. Dick stares at him for a moment before doing as he says.

The pair of them fill the doorway. Wait as their eyes adjust to the light in the room. Gloomy shadows fall in through the window; the blinds have been left open. Dick’s eyes scan the bed but his ears hear Jason’s breathing hitch. He feels the younger man go rigid beside him, knows his own body has responded the same. Because Tim is gone. Again.

Panic forces itself into what little space is between them, and Dick is only vaguely aware that Jason is gripping his wrist. Holding him too tightly, clinging onto him as though he’s scared one of them will disappear too.

A small cough brings them back to their senses. Alfred. The older man is sat in the corner of the room, by the window. A patient vigil in the dark. He nods to the far side of the bed.

Jason all but drags Dick with him as he marches into the room. They stop just past the bed. Tim is asleep on the floor. He’s curled into a ball, a single sheet held tight over his head. Dick only knows it’s him from the tuft of hair that’s sticking out.

He feels Jason let go of his wrist. The younger man stumbles backwards. He nods to Alfred then leaves the room, gone as quick as he entered.

Dick watches him go, a new worry blooming in his chest. He looks at Alfred, and the older man shakes his head sadly.

~~

Jason is in his old room. His old en-suite more accurately. His knees protest against the tile as he wretches into the toilet.

I am safe, I am warm, I am whole.

He repeats the words in his mind like a mantra. Tries to control his breathing. He fails. Another wave of nausea has him wretching again. Acid burning its way up his throat.

A hand presses to his back and he flinches. He hadn’t heard anyone come in. Bruce places a glass of water on the floor beside him, pushes his hair back from his face.

Jason wipes his mouth on his sleeve, takes a shaky sip of water. Bruce rubs circles on his back.“Don’t.” Jason croaks, and he hates himself when the warmth of the hand is removed. He looks up at Bruce. “You promised you’d keep them safe.” He says, and he can’t keep the hurt out of his voice. Can’t keep the tears from his eyes. “You promised.”

“I know.” Bruce says. He pulls the younger man into a hug, holds him tight against his chest. “I’m sorry.” His son’s tears soak through his shirt.

~~

Jason doesn’t know how long they sit there. Tangled limbs on the cold, hard tiles of the bathroom floor. Only knows that he needs Bruce to let go. He pulls himself out of his father’s arms, pushes himself to his feet. He needs to brush his teeth.

Bruce sits on the floor behind him, as Jason scrubs the bile and acid from his mouth. He presses too hard with the toothbrush, can taste the copper of blood against mint. But the dig of the bristles in the soft flesh of his gums is grounding. Reminds him he’s still alive.

I am safe, I am warm, I am whole.

Jason can remember sleeping on the floor. He’s slept on so many of them. The dingy corner of their apartment growing up, when all they could afford was a single mattress and Willis refused to let him share. The cardboard box by one of the subway vents behind the old Monarch Theatre. The floor of this very bedroom, the bed too soft for him to sleep in, threatening to drown him as soon as he fell asleep. Then the streets again, when he had wandered aimlessly after his death.

He can remember the dark too. Of being locked in a closet and forgotten for days at a time, when his infant crying became too much for Willis. Of his eyes swollen shut as the Joker beat the life out of him. Of his coffin, as he lay there screaming for Bruce to save him.

Jason’s life was a short but terrible history of hard floors and dark rooms and Tim’s was never meant to be like that.

They’d found him in all but a box, eight feet by eight feet by eight feet. There were no windows, the door had been soldered shut. He was being fed once a day. Some bread and water slid through a hatch in the wall, and a bucket too. Swapped out every 24 hours. Nobody ever spoke to him, nobody ever asked anything of him. No-one ever demanded anything from them either, neither The Bats, nor The Waynes.

He spits into the sink. Toothpaste pink with blood. He rinses his mouth. Splashes his face. Takes a deep breath.

They just took him and kept him. Because they could.

Jason had known people like that too, once. If he clings to it, it’s the only thought that makes him grateful Tim has been left alone for so long. Even as it leaves a bitter taste in his mouth.

Coming home, coming back to his family had been as painful and awful as clawing himself out of his own grave. An endless fight against the pit and its madness, that drove him to hurt the people he loved. An ongoing battle against the deep, deep wound in his heart that The Joker still lived. And a terrifying, haunting fear that he would lose them again. That after all they had been through, after he finally got his family back, they would be taken from him and he would be alone once more.

“I promise you.” Bruce had said. “If you come home, I will keep you safe. I will keep them safe. I will keep us whole. I promise.”

Jason turns away from the sink. Walks back into his room. Leaves Bruce sat on the cold, tiled floor.

~~

Eventually Bruce pulls himself to his feet. Jason’s room is empty when he passes through. He doesn’t allow himself to wonder where he might have gone. Of all the broken promises he has made to Jason, he knows this one has hurt his son the most. That Jason’s single biggest fear is losing the family he has so desperately longed for, both of his lives. That Jason would rather never love at all, than love and lose it all over again. This time had been too close. For Jason. For all of them.

It had taken them too long to get a lead on where Tim was being held. Far too long. And even then, they couldn’t confirm an exact location. They’d had no choice but to split up. Cass, and Damian had joined the Titans on the West Coast. Dick and Jason had come with him on the East.

He pulls out his phone, checks on the location of Cass and Damian for the nineteenth time that night. They’re making steady progress. Will be in Gotham before sunrise. His arms ache with a desperate need to hold them, know that they are safe. To have the physical proof, that all his children are alive and breathing, in his hands.

It had taken him a long time to let go of Tim once they found him. To pass his sweet, brilliant boy over to Leslie, so she could check him over. Confirm he was okay.

Tim was older now than Jason had been when he… Tim was older, but he had still felt just as small and young and broken, when Bruce had lifted him out of that box they’d kept him in. Out of the darkness. His body weak and trembling.

It had been Tim who had been taken, but Bruce had looked at the body in his arms and seen Robin, limbs twisted and broken. Seen Nightwing, lips blue and heart stopped by a hand held to his face. Seen another Robin, sword run through him, splitting his battered body almost in two. Seen Red Robin, riddled with bullet holes, blood running out of every one. He had held Tim and seen everyone of his children dead in his arms. An endless cacophony of death.

He reaches Tim’s room. Stands in the doorway and hopes that Alfred can’t see him in the darkness. He tries to remember back to when he took Dick in. Tries to recall what, in the name of all the Gods, had possessed him to allow his child, his children, out into the night with him. Tries to remember how he reached the conclusion that he could risk their single precious lives for his own crusade. How he could risk their safety for a single second.

He steps into the room. Hears Alfred sigh from his seat by the window.

“Don’t ask me to leave.” Bruce croaks out. His throat is tight, trying to hold a tidal wave of emotion at bay. “Don’t.”

Alfred stands. “Of course not.” He says softly, and he gestures to where Tim is sleeping on the floor. “Did you get any sleep?” He asks.

Bruce doesn’t respond. Just stares down at Tim, eighteen but looking for all the world like the ten year old who had shown up on Bruce’s doorstep all those years ago. The sheet is twisted round his limbs, his face screwed into a frown.

“Why is he on the floor?” Bruce asks. Though he has a good idea already.

Alfred takes a steadying breath. “He’s been…” He pauses. “He’s been sleeping on the floor so long, it’s what he’s used to n—“ He cuts himself off abruptly, turns to the window away from Bruce.

Bruce feels a burn in his throat. Knows that Alfred is fighting down the same tears that he is. He places a hand on Alfred’s shoulder. “I’ll stay with him now. Get some rest.”

Alfred nods. Places a hand over Bruce’s but doesn’t look at him. “And you, Bruce.” He says and he leaves. Pulls the door closed gently behind him.

Bruce turns back to Tim. His darling boy. He kneels down, gently detangles the sheets from his son’s legs. Tim doesn’t stir. Bruce lies down next to him, lays the sheet over them both.

Touch is grounding. Jason had said. And it’s all Bruce can do not to pull Tim into his arms and never let go. But Leslie had said baby steps. So instead he settles for running his fingers through Tim’s hair and holding his face in his hands. Moves his head closer so he can feel the soft rise and fall of Tim’s breath.

This would have to do, for now.

#batfic #batfamily fanfic #red hood #red robin #nightwing #tim drake #jason todd #alfred pennyworth #dick grayson #bruce wayne #batdad #spbfic