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thepersonnamedsam · 9 months

Note

hello! i was hoping I could request something between gen z reader x the grid where she gets an anxiety attack or gets really anxious during press and how they would react or try to help her, could be due to something about the race or personal, love uuu<3

you’re gonna go far

pairing: the genz!driver x '23!grid

summary: social anxiety and social stuff don’t mix very well

word count: 2.3k

warnings: anxiety attack, angst, sexist comments

note: hiya!! yk i love your requests!! thank u <3

i have social anxiety myself, it’s written from my perspective - anxiety is experienced very different, pls remember that! and pls respect anyone who is experiencing anxiety or any mental disorder that is!

masterlist / taglist

We ain’t angry at you, love, you’re the greatest thing we‘ve lost.

The song blasted through her ears, tears started forming in her eyes. She missed home, so, so much. She felt guilty to leave all her friends and family at home to pursue her dreams. And this song, written by the brilliant Noah Kahan, just always made her cry and think about her hometown.

Well, maybe not always, mostly the days her anxiety sparks up - and today was one of those days. Usually media didn’t stress her out, but today was different. Her mood shifted and hyper sensitive, overstimulated and overwhelmed. And she usually had someone she trusted by her side at media, but not today. Today was just shit.

Paired with Lance, Kevin, Sergio and Niko, she just wished the day would be over. She was just glad that Daniel, Max, Oscar and Lewis would be after her, they would maybe wait for them to finish, so she could see them.

She was trying to help her calm down. Thinking about good possibilities and not bad ones. Not about how she would sit stiff and uncomfortable between Lance and Sergio. Or how she and Niko never really got along. Or how she couldn’t seek refuge in a known face. Or how she had to answer all the questions by herself and not have Max there to defend her and be her bodyguard.

And she was doing it again.

What was she gonna do? Breath, just breath - that’s what she told herself. She was in desperate need for a break. She knew what she was getting herself into, but it was still so very much. She was glad that Hungary was the second last race before the summer pause. She would go home, maybe vacation a bit, but definitely head home and see her friends and family.

Her feet dragged her through the media pit against her will. She didn’t want to go there, she just wanted to curl up in her bed with a good book and some music. Her headphones still present on her head, at least she had her music.

She was so focused on the words of You’re gonna go far that she didn’t see Lance in her peripheral vision. He patted her on her back and she flinched as he passed her. He gave her a funny look as she just gave him a shy smile.

She sighed, she didn’t know how she could face this day. She wished she had Lewis or Max or Danny by her side, someone to lean on, someone who would protect her and help her out. But she was all alone in this world right now. That’s what she thought at least.

Sat next to her was Kevin and Sergio. Her leg was bouncing, her fingers couldn’t stop picking at her nails. Her breathing was fast. She knew that things would turn out bad pretty fast. She just knew it.

„So, the next question is for y/n. Seeing as you’re the only woman on the grid, do you feel intimidated by all of the men or do you actually like the challenge?“

Her mind raced. What? She wished for Max who would give a sassy comeback or for Lewis to out the comment as borderline sexist. Or just anyone to stand up for her at that moment, but no one did.

„Uh, thank you for your question. Uhm, I am not the only woman on the grid. There are lots of women working behind the scenes - mechanics, engineers, catering, strategists, everything. So, to answer your question, no, I don’t feel intimidated, because I know that I come from a powerful gender.“

Her answer was clip and clear, not even her voice was shaking, which she half expected to. But the interviewer grew visibly irritated.

„Can you go into it a bit more? Or could you please comment on the statement Christian Horner did? Here, I’ll refresh your mind: F1 is bringing in a young generation. It’s bringing in a lot of young girls because of all these great-looking young drivers.“

What had that to do with his question beforehand? Horner made that statement a longer time ago?

„Uhm yes, obviously we all know Christian by now, don’t we?“, she nervously laughed. „But uhm, he is obviously still wrong, like I originally commented when he first made that statement“ Her eyes were searching for something or someone familiar, but she couldn’t. Her vision occupied by interviewers and flashing cameras.

Her breath started to get faster, She tried to breath through her nose, not make it too obvious that she was having a moment. This would make headlines. Female driver gets anxiety attack whilst commenting on sexist statements.

Why wasn’t Lewis there? He knew what to do. He had caught her like this before - breathing rapid, fists clenched and fingers white. Eyes not focusing on anything particular and her chest heaving up and down from all her heavy breathing.

It was after she had found out that people were speculating about her - specifically that she had to sleep with her or any team principal to get her seat in F1. Her head was leaned against the wall, her knees pulled to her chest and her body was rocking back and forth.

„y/n, y/n, listen, look at me. Listen to me, can you please look at me, love?“, he pleaded. And when she finally did, Lewis let out a breath of relief. „Okay, look at me, darling, and follow my breathing, yes? It’s easy, you can do it, I believe in you.“

He grabbed her hands and put them to his own chest, so she could feel his breathing. Feel his calm heartbeat, even though he felt anything opposite calm. He looked her deep into her eyes and tried to reassure that everything was going to be alright.

„You’re gonna go far, y/n, listen to me, I know it, you’re gonna make it far.“

Her breathing had normalised and the tears stuck in her eyes, finally flowed down her cheeks. The soon turned into full on sobs and the older driver hugged the younger one. Embracing her and reassuring her, that none of the drivers would have believed the tabloids - they’ve seen her driving and know very well why she got offered her seat in F1.

She had thanked him about a thousand times and made him promise not to ever tell anyone. But if somebody else knew, maybe they could’ve helped her in this situation.

But luckily for y/n, this was all broadcast live, well, maybe not for her per se, because she knew about too many people were watching her lose herself on live television and her PR manager couldn’t just pull some magic strings to not have this air, but what she didn’t know was, that Seb was watching - her specifically.

And he did the only reasonable thing he could do, he called Lewis.

„Hey dude, what’s up? Haven’t heard from you in a long time. How’s retirement treating you?“ Lewis had a lot of questions for the German. The later laughed a bit, but turned serious pretty quickly. „Listen, I’m watching the pre-race interviews right now-“ Lewis interrupted him: „Yeah? I’m on next, you should definitely wait and see me on TV then.“

„Yeah that’s great Lew, but y/n is on right now. I think- no I’m pretty sure she’s having an anxiety attack on live television.“

Lewis was silent for a moment. „She is having what?“ - „An anxiety attack, you know what that is? It’s, uhm, when you get too overwhelmed and your psyche tells you that you’re experiencing immense fear at the moment and“, Lewis was tuning him out.

She was having an anxiety attack? Right now? During the pre-race interview? He had to help her.

„I’m on my way, thanks Seb“, and he hung up. He had to get there as fast as he could. Sprinting through the entire paddock to the media pin. On the way he almost crashed into Max, who was also making his way to the pin, Daniel by his side. The only looked at Lewis weird but soon we’re running with him, as he shouted: „It’s y/n!“

They arrived but no one wanted to let them in: „It’s not your turn yet, they’re still going. You have to wait until it’s your turn, you’ll be on in 10.“

„Listen, y/n, if you’re reacting this way to my question, you’re clearly not made for this sport, maybe you should go into something more ladylike, like horseback riding or tennis, at least you’d look pretty there.“

„And you’re clearly not made to interviews, asshole!“

All of them heard, the viewers heard, the drivers heard, the interviewers heard, but y/n was the only one who didn’t hear it.

Maybe you should go into something more ladylike, like horseback riding or tennis, at least you’d look pretty there. That was all she could hear. At least you’d look pretty there.

The other drives next to y/n didn’t know what to do. Their colleague was definitely having a though time, but they didn’t know how to help, they opted to just tilt their heads towards the floor and look just as uncomfortable as everyone in the room did - but no one stood up for her, expect Max.

„Maybe you should just fucking leave this pit before I will bash your disgusting face. Maybe you should scramble and flee. Maybe you should eat your on dick as you seem to like to put tiny and degrading things in your mouth. Maybe-“, Daniel stopped him, Max has said enough and made his point.

Lewis was already making his way up to her. Scooping her up and carrying her out of the pit.

At least you’d look pretty.

The sentence was going through her head like a loop, like a vinyl that’s broken and repeats all the worst parts. She felt like a broken record - cracked and well, broken.

„She‘s hyperventilating“, Danial pointed out. „Yeah no shit, sherlock.“ - „Max, let’s just focus on her right now, okay?“, the seven time world champion told the two time world champion. „Who’s garage is the nearest?“, Lewis asked into the round. „The Ferrari one is the first one on the grid“, Daniel said. „Let’s go then.“

Daniel led the way, fetching Lando on the way, she’d appreciate the support from the youngster. Even though he complained a lot to Danny.

„Don’t look, don’t look, we’re just passing through“, Daniel said as he tried to shield her and Lewis from all the cameras in the Ferrari garage. „What are you guys doing here?“, Carlos questioned, but as soon as he saw the crying mess in Lewis‘ arms he helped Daniel shield y/n. Carlos led them to Charles‘ side of the garage, as he had his closed off for anyone from the outside.

„What’s going on?“, a confused Charles asked the group now standing in his garage. „Charles, we need to go somewhere quiet, is that possible?“, Lewis asked the Ferrari driver. He nodded and led them to his drivers room, even though it was pretty tiny and probably wouldn’t fit all of them in it.

They set y/n on his sofa and Lewis was hovering in front of her. Lando sat on her right side, while Max was on her left. He took her hand in his, squeezing it, so she knew that he was there. „Hey y/n look at me. We’re in Charles‘ drivers room, in the Ferrari garage. Away from the media pit, okay? You’re safe with us now“, Lewis told her. „Breath with us.“

„In and out, just like that, darling, follow Lewis‘ breathing“, Daniel complimented y/n. „You’re doing great, shatje. So, so great. We’re all so proud of you.“

„You can let it all out, we won’t judge you“, Charles told her and just as he did, the dam broke. Her tears fell down onto her knees, she sobbed uncontrollably. She leaned her head on Landos shoulder and he pulled her close into his side. „You’re doing so well, love.“ - „Just keep breathing, don’t forget to breath“, Carlos told her. He was standing in the doorway with Charles, acting as bodyguards.

Danny walked around the room, trying to find something for y/n to drink out of. „Hey Charles, do you have some water or a bottle?“ The driver clad in red reacted fast and brought the Australian a tall glass of water. He brought y/n the glass and she had to stop crying to drink. Afterwards she got the hiccups. „There, there love, everything’s okay“, Lewis took her glass and patted her knee. „Remember what I told you? You’re gonna go far, okay? Don’t let that prick tell you otherwise.“

„At least you’d look pretty there.“

„Huh?“, the room asked, as she mumbled the sentence.

„At least you’d look pretty there. That’s what he said“, she looked up from her seat, to the room full of supporting people. „At least you’d look pretty.“

Max was so angry again, he could’ve killed that man, if it wasn’t for Daniel holding him back. „I am going to kill that man“, Max growled. y/n giggled: „Maxie, don’t, he doesn’t deserve death. He deserves to live a long, pitiful life.“

„We’re glad you’re laughing again, y/n“, Charles said. „Yes, very much so.“ Everyone agreed with Charles. „I love you guys, but how’d you even know that I was having a tough time?“, y/n asked confused. Lewis had to laugh: „Seb called me. Said he saw you on the TV all riled up and ready to cry and that I should already be on my way to help you, but I talked over him the whole time“ He scratched his neck and y/n laughed a loud belly laugh. „That’s so typical!“

°°°

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#f1 x reader #formula 1 #f1 #charles leclerc x reader #carlos sainz x reader #daniel ricciardo #charles leclerc #fernando alonso #genz driver #sebastian vettel x reader #kevin magnussen #nico hülkenberg #lance stroll #max verstappen f1 #max verstappen x you #max verstappen #female driver #lewis hamilton #lewis hamilton x reader

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gold-dustwomxn · 4 months

Text

mystified

part 4

summary: after sudden attacks on women around town, you take a self defense class. ellie, your long standing crush is the instructor

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4

cw: violence, alcohol consumption, smoking weed, smut mdni!!!!

oral (e receiving), strap (r receiving)

angst fluff and smut

a loud chiming paired with vibrations has you jumping up, hand pressed flat against your racing heart. your rude alarm blares into your ear as you groan into your pillow. shit never fails to scare you half to death time every single time. as you lay in your bed and wipe away the sleep from your eyes, your mind floods with ellie ellie ellie. you’ve been with her practically everyday and you can’t seem to get enough of her. she’s the first thing on your mind when you wake up, and the last thing on your mind before you fall asleep.

ellie🌿🗡️: Morning babe. I hope you have a good day. Try to pay attention in class instead of texting me. I’ll see you later🖤

me: good morninggg💗 i’ll try my best for u 🫡 try not to get injured at work again

you giggle and feel those butterflies in your stomach again. it’s pathetic how giddy she makes you feel from a simple text.

dina🤍: are u and ellie coming to the party tonight? istg if u say no

me: uggh idk. u know I hate those college parties

dina🤍: cmonnn u guys never come out. youve both been holed up in a lesbian fuck fest for like 2 weeks straight

me: LMAO stfu. fine I’ll ask ellie if she wants to go

ellie grudgingly agrees to go to said party for your sake, and because she’s been neglecting her friendship with jesse just a little bit— too preoccupied with wanting to spend as much time as possible with you, and you her.

she decides she’ll stay sober for the night so she can drive and keep an eye on you. as you walk into the party hand in hand, you’re flooded with an overwhelming stench of alcohol and weed, strobing lights and music so loud that you feel the bass thumping in your chest. it’s too fucking crowded and hot. you need a drink to loosen up.

“well, well, well, would you look at who the cat dragged in.” jesse smirks at the two of you, receiving a double eye roll from both you and ellie. “who the fuck speaks like that anymore jesse?” ellie says with a laugh. “just good to see you alive in the flesh and all.” dina giggles and attacks you with a warm hug.

she steals your attention away from ellie, fiddling with your shirt with a goofy smirk. you laugh and narrow your eyes, “what is it?” dina leans in closer to whisper, “so, what’s the deal with you two.. are you official yet?”

you look at ellie to make sure she isn’t watching and whisper, “no, we haven’t.. labeled anything? I don’t know.. I mean, I do wanna make it official, but I don’t wanna scare her away, you know? kinda just letting it play out and see what happens.”

she looks at you, unamused. “stop being a pussy, you guys have been in love with each other for years. It’s not like she’s some random girl that you just met.” you roll your eyes, “relaxxx, it’ll happen when it happens.” dina laughs and shakes her head, “whatever you say. I need another drink.”

as she walks over to mix a gross concoction of god knows what, your eyes drift back to ellie who is preoccupied, deep in conversation with jesse. your eyes wander over every inch of her, biting your lip. her muscles are pulled taut against her flannel, jeans tight around her thighs, intoxicating green eyes glowing from the flashing lights in the room. one drink has you so fucking horny, it’s ridiculous.

ellie catches you staring and raises an eyebrow, “you good, babe?” she chuckles. you look away, trying to save face. “yup, I’m feeling good. can you come with me to the bathroom?” she nods with no hesitation, innocently thinking that you just want her to stick close by.

as soon as the door closes, you pull her tightly against you by the loopholes of her jeans and slam your lips into hers. she freezes for a moment, caught off guard, but quickly catches up, slipping her tongue into your mouth with a groan and sliding her hands down to squeeze your ass.

she then tugs at your hair, pulling your head back, breathless and takes a look at your glossy eyes, and down at your swollen lips. “what do you think you’re doing, huh?” she rasps out, smirking. you lean in, placing wet, needy kisses on her neck, pawing and squeezing at her biceps, “I wanna go down on you so bad right now.” you practically whine in her ear.

she chuckles, “right now? in here?” she looks around the bathroom, scrunching up her face. “we’ve been here for like a half hour, babe.”

you cup her through her jeans, watching her breath get heavy, “c’mon, don’t you wanna feel my mouth on you?” you pout.

she removes your hand and pulls you tight against her, brushing your hair to the side, placing a kiss on your neck. you whimper as she licks a slow stripe up to the sweet spot behind you ear, giving it a small suck.

“you’re gonna be a good girl for me and wait until later.” she whispers into the shell of your ear, making you shudder. you mentally curse her for having more self control than you, while ellie mentally curses herself because she’s horny as fuck now, but loves teasing you. “ugh, fine, ellie.” she chuckles and pats your cheek, leaning in to give you one more lingering kiss.

dina being dina convinces you to take multiple shots of tequila with her while ellie stands with jesse watching the both of you dance, laughing in amusement at the two of you.

as the night goes on, you start to stumble. ellie grabs onto you, “hey, baby, I think it’s time you lay off the drinks now, huh?” she chuckles at you. you wrap your arms around her neck and nod, “mhmm, I’m getting tired. can we leave soon?” you slur out. she nods, wrapping her arms around your waist, “yeah, we can go now.”

after you say your goodbyes to dina and jesse, you walk behind ellie, trying to make your way through the sea of bodies to head out.

all of a sudden, you feel a hand squeeze your ass and you gasp, stumbling into ellie. you turn around and see a guy grinning, reeking of booze. “don’t fucking touch me!”

ellie turns around and takes in the scene, her face morphing into one of rage. she places you behind her and shoves him hard against his chest. “back the fuck up,” she grits out.

he laughs mockingly. “oh, what, is this your bitch?” time seems to stop for a moment, a chill traveling down your spine as you watch her face drop, making you suddenly feel stone cold sober.

ellie punches him square in the face, making him stumble back. people begin to move out the way, circling them, whooping and hollering as if it’s a fucking show.

he lunges at her, trying to hit back. she catches his wrist and twists his arm, as she elbows him in the face, making him fall down and grab his now seemingly broken nose.

your jaw drops as you watch ellie climb on top of him, knee to his chest as she throws punch after punch. “ellie! stop!” she doesn’t hear you, doesn’t even seem to be present in her own body.

jesse hears the commotion and runs into the room. he grabs ellie, trying to pull her off of him “ellie, stop! you got him! you’re gonna get arrested if you don’t stop!”

ellie stands up, chest heaving as she flexes and shakes out her aching hand, knuckles bloody. she looks at you, her gaze softening with guilt as she takes in your upset demeanor.

you look around at all of the people staring, and grab ellie’s arm. “c’mon, we’re leaving. now.” she looks at you as you swiftly walk ahead of her to her car. “I’m sorry-“

you cut her off, “ellie, what the fuck?! you can’t just go around beating the shit out of people like that.”

she huffs and throws her arms up in the air defensively, looking as if she was about to speak, but stops herself.

“you looked like you were gonna kill him.”

she scoffs “I wasn’t gonna kill him.” you turn to look at her, “well, if jesse hadn’t been able to stop you, who knows what would’ve happened.”

she looks down at her tattoo and rubs the skin, “guys like him need to learn that they can’t get away with shit like that! and... and seeing him look so fucking proud of himself… looking at you like you were a piece of fucking meat.”

you observe her digging her nails into her tattoo and realize where her mind is drifting off to. you stop walking and grab her face, speaking softly. “look at me. I’m safe and you’re safe. I understand that you wanna protect me, but you can’t lose it like that, okay? you need to learn to walk away unless it’s absolutely necessary. I don’t want you getting into trouble.”

she looks between your eyes and nods, grabbing gently onto one of your wrists. “okay. I’m sorry,” she whispers.

“It’s over now. everything’s okay.” you nod at her slowly and lean in to peck her lips. “c’mon, let’s go back to your place so I can clean you up.”

“you don’t have to-“ you cut her off with a semi-serious glare and she nods.

on the drive home, she rubs your thigh softly and takes small glances at you. she chews on her bottom lip anxiously, thinking about how you’re able to ground her. her chest tightens with shame— you shouldn’t have to deal with her issues.

ellie stands between your legs as you sit on top of the sink, cleaning her knuckles gently with deep concentration. she watches you and thinks about how she’s falling for you, hard. she’s never felt this way about someone before and she’d be lying if she said it didn’t scare her a little. her thoughts are interrupted as you finish and kiss the inside of her wrist. she gives you a soft smile when you look up at her and leans in to kiss you, “thanks, babe.”

ellie plucks away at her guitar as she smokes a joint while you lay there sipping on water and watch her in comfortable silence. unbeknownst to you, her mind races, picturing the look on your face after she basically bashed that guys face in.

she doesn’t think she deserves someone good and sweet like you. the idea of letting you go fucking crushes her, but it’s better to let you decide if you wanna end things now before the two of you get more serious, as if you’re both not in deep already.

she takes a hit of her joint and places her guitar to the side, laying a shaky palm on your thigh. “hey... I’m sorry about earlier.” you shake your head, “it’s okay, I promise. I’m not upset anymore.”

she looks down for a moment before looking back at you, “it’s just... you don’t deserve to have to deal with my bullshit. I understand if you don’t wanna… do this anymore.” she gestures between the two of you and fidgets nervously with her fingers.

you sit up quickly and grab her hand, stroking her knuckles. “is that what you want?” she looks at your teary eyes and shakes her head immediately. “no, no, it’s not what I want. but I want you to do what’s best for you.”

“ellie, I really like you. I’m not afraid of baggage, you don’t have to push me away.”

she looks at you, unconvinced. “I’m a fucking mess, ___. I don’t know if you’ve picked up on it yet, but I’m not the easiest person to be around sometimes.”

“and you know what’s best for me?”

“no, I’m not saying that. I just-” she throws her hands up, trying to figure out how to convey what she’s feeling.

“you’re not some broken, cold hearted person, ellie. I can decide for myself what’s good for me. you’re good for me.”

“I don’t wanna hurt you,” she whispers, eyes tearing up.

you inch closer to her on your hands and knees and give her a soft, lingering kiss.

“then, don’t.” you whisper against her lips and pull back.

she looks back at you in silence for a few moments in a daze, completely enamored with you.

you give her a teary smile and let your words settle in for her, “plus, it’s kinda hot seeing you like that. you still haven’t taught me more self defense moves like you said you would, you know.” you laugh trying to make her feel better. she lets out a weak chuckle and shakes her head.

“no, but seriously,” you place your palm on her cheek to keep eye contact, making sure she takes in your sincerity, “I lo- like you.. a lot and I wanna be with you, okay? we all have our issues. you’ll have to stick around if you wanna see mine,” you smile. ellie’s ears perk up, wondering if she was just imagining that you almost said you love her. she chuckles and nods, “okay,” she whispers, “so does this mean you wanna be my girlfriend then?”

you look at her in mock offense, “is that how you’re gonna ask me?”

she laughs, “okay, okay.” she clears her throat and straightens out her back. “___, would you like to be my girlfriend?”

you can’t help but laugh at her attempt to be serious. “yeah, I’ll be your girl.”

she gives you a wide grin and cups your face, giving you a passionate kiss.

you both pull away breathless. “you know.. I think we should consummate this relationship.”

she laughs and raises an eyebrow, “oh yeah? and how’s that?”

“well.. for one, I didn’t get to do what I wanted to earlier.”

“mhmm, you are right about that. go ahead baby.”

as ellie lays on her back, you kiss along her stomach down her v-line to her inner thighs, each kiss making her muscles tense up.

“c’mon, enough teasing.” she huffs, breath heavy with glossy eyes.

you shake your head in defiance and she grabs onto your jaw. “be good.” she says sternly, but strokes your cheek gently with her thumb.

she watches you lick a stripe up her wet folds and her eyes roll back, letting out a shaky breath.

“s-stick your tongue out, baby.”

you flatten your tongue and she takes a fistful of your hair, slowly bucking her hips against your face. “jesus.. fuck. love your fucking mouth so much.”

looking up at her with doe eyes, you moan, and she grunts, “s-so perfect for me. making me feel so good, baby.”

you bob your head up and down with her thrusts, and suck hard on her clit, making her whimper unwillingly. “oh fuuuuck. good fucking girl, don’t stop.”

she grips your hair tighter and grinds faster against your face, head falling back into the pillows and swallowing hard. “gonna cum.. fuck!”

finally her body seizes up, her hole clenching around your tongue as her arousal seeps into your mouth. “holy fuck.” she breathes out shakily. “fuckin-“ she grunts, “swallow all of it.” she holds your head in place, rocking slowly as you happily lap up every inch of her cum. “yeah.. good girl.” you pull back and brush your fingers over her thighs with a love drunk smile.

she pants and looks down at you with furrowed brows, swiping her thumb across your glossy lips, spreading around her slick and your saliva before sticking her thumb into your mouth. you suck on it and she closes her eyes, sighing.

you climb on top of her, kissing her deeply, both of you moaning into the kiss. “wait,” she pulls back.

“what?” you whine at the loss of her lips against yours.

she chuckles and sits up, opening her nightstand drawer and pulls out a box. “how would you feel if I used this on you?”

you examine the unopened box and your eyes widen when you see what’s inside, making your thighs squeeze together. “yeah-yes.” you stutter.

she laughs and traps you with her legs to flip you on your back, “yes, what?”

you yelp and giggle, “you can use it on me.” she grins and leans in to kiss you.

after ellie coaxes multiple orgasms out of you with her mouth and fingers, she gets up to grab the strap, adjusting the harness around her. “okay, you sure you want it?”

you swallow hard in nervousness and excitement. “y-yeah I want it. just go slow.”

she leans down and gives you a soft kiss. “of course, baby.”

ellie lubes up the dildo and strokes the shaft before settling between your shaky legs, giving them small kisses. “you nervous?” you nod, “mhm, a little.”

she caresses your thighs and gives them gentle squeezes, “it’s okay, I’ll be gentle and if you want me to stop just tell me, okay?” you nod, “okay.”

as she slides the strap up and down your folds, you let out a whimper and spread your legs further apart. she has to bite down hard on her lip to hold back a moan.

“you ready?”

“yeah,” your breath gets heavier in anticipation.

she slowly inches her way in while rubbing small circles on your clit, eyes focused on your face. when your eyes start to tear up, she leans down and peppers soft kisses all over your face. “you’re doing so good for me, baby.”

as she bottoms out, you both moan in unison. “you okay?”

“y-yes, you can move.”

ellie starts out with a slow pace, rolling her hips into you, gradually going deeper and harder with each thrust. she feels her own arousal pooling as she watches your face twist in pleasure and the view of your cunt sucking her in.

“fuck, ellie, g-go faster please,” you moan out. ellie smirks at your words, "my pleasure, sweet girl."

she wraps your legs around her waist and starts to increase the pace and vigor of her thrusts, pounding into you hard and fast. you can feel every inch of her as she slides in and out of you, filling you up with such intensity that has you moaning uncontrollably. she groans “you look so fucking good like this,” leaning down to kiss you messily, panting into each other mouths.

she watches you with heavy lids, drunk off of the sounds of your moans and the wet sounds of your cunt. “feels good, pretty girl?”

“mmph. so good, ellie. so good.”

as she starts to increase her pace even more, you grip onto her shoulders tightly, pulling her chest to yours, sinking your nails into her skin.

“taking me s-so fucking well baby, knew you could do it.” she feels herself getting lost in her own pleasure as the base of the strap bumps against her clit just right.

your body starts to tremble against hers, with ellie having to work harder to thrust in and out of you, your moans turning into high-pitched whimpers, and she knows you’re close.

“el-ellie! fuck, I’m gonna-” she holds onto you tightly and watches you as you slip into ecstasy, and can’t help but moan herself. she thinks you’re absolutely breathtaking like this. and that view alone is enough to make her eyes roll back, triggering her own orgasm. her hips sputter as she slaps into you, leaning down to kiss you sloppily.

she lifts her head and lets out ragged breaths, her eyes glazed over, “you did so good for me, baby.” she kisses your forehead gently.

leaning on her elbows, she stares down at you, eyes mapping out every inch of your face, completely infatuated.

“I lo-“ she stops herself, it’s too early to say I love you. or is it? you’ve known each other for years, and she could’ve sworn you almost said it earlier. she decides against it, not wanting to ruin the moment.

you run your hand through her hair and brush your nose against hers, “say it,” you whisper. she looks between your eyes and swallows thickly.

“I love you,” she whispers shakily.

you lift your head, slotting your lips against hers in a slow, passionate kiss.

“I love you, too.”

tysm for reading ily all 💗💗

taglist: @me-and-your-husband @fireflyels @cinnamonmilf

#ellie williams #ellie williams x reader #emmysfics #ellie tlou2 #ellie williams the last of us #ellie the last of us #ellie williams fanfiction #ellie williams smut #ellie smut #ellie williams tlou #ellie williams angst #ellie williams fanfic #ellie williams fic #ellie williams fluff #ellie williams x f!reader #ellie williams x female reader

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alexias-putellas · 3 months

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the winner takes it all // l.williamson x reader

l.williamson x reader

part two of comfort

sorry it took so long, enjoy!<3

you stood in the tunnel, bouncing on your feet as your heart pounded in your chest.

the quiet mixed murmurs of spanish and catalan didn’t bother you that much, you were just repeating leah’s words in your head.

she was in the crowd. instead of flying home with the england squad, she stayed to watch you play in the final. she was sitting with your family in the stands after finally meeting them in person for the first time.

the lights hit your eyes as you guided your team out onto the pitch, immediately looking for leah once you’d lined up. she gave you a little wave and you grinned, the sight of her with your family letting off butterflies in your stomach.

you took a deep breath as spain’s national anthem came to end, the crowd clapping quickly before the all too familiar sound of music filled your ears, and then the stadium.

the roar of the home crowd was deafening in the best way possible and you had never been prouder to see a sea of yellow staring back at you.

ᡣ𐭩

leah’s leg bounced in anticipation as she watched you race down the pitch, standing up with the rest of the crowd as you grew nearer and nearer to the spanish goal.

the murmurs of the crowd got louder until they errupted, leah jumping up with them as you hammered the ball into the back of the net.

she subtly wiped a stray tear, cheering as you tapped your badge, quickly celebrating with some of your teammates before focus set in again.

leah knew how you were feeling. it was the same she felt when ella scored first in the euros final. it was a magical feeling.

of course, that meant that she knew exactly how you were feeling when spain found an equaliser.

she watched as you threw your head back, steph and caitlin patting you on your shoulders.

the rest of the first half was relatively uneventfully, both teams having chances but no goals being scored. everyone on the edge of their seats the entire time.

halftime seemed to fly by and before leah knew it, the pitch was filled with players again and the whistle was being blown.

it was all going so well for your team until a small slip up meant that spain capitalised, the ball soaring passed mackenzie’s fingertips and into the back of the net.

but you weren’t going down without a fight. you’d taken your team to the final and you were not leaving them there.

within minutes, you and sam had worked together to find yet another equaliser, the stadium erupting once again.

leah glanced over at the big screen, letting out a breath. five minutes until full time.

it was doable, you both knew it.

leah could feel her nerves spiking, leg bouncing up and down as the minutes seemed to turn into hours and before long, she was jumping up again.

you had scored your brace.

she watched with tears in her eyes as you celebrated with your teammates and your fans, not bothering to hide her emotions when that final whistle blew.

you had done it. you’d lead your team to your first ever world cup final and you had secured the win. leah smiled through her tears, bursting with pride as her eyes followed your every move.

you hugged every one of your teammates, taking time to hug some of the spanish players too.

leah was the first person you ran to once family and friends were allowed onto the pitch, clinging onto her for dear life as you sobbed with joy.

“we did it!” you exclaimed through your tears. “i did it, leah! i just won the world cup, what the fuck is happening?!”

“you just won the world cup!” leah told you, wrapping her arm around your shoulder and swinging you around. “my girlfriend just won the world cup everyone!”

you giggled loudly, cheering as steph and caitlin joined, the four of you jumping around like mad women.

“we have matching gold medals now.” leah said as you both began making your way over to your family.

“that’s right, we do,” you nodded, pressing a kiss to her cheek. “mine’s better though!”

“hey!”

#woso imagine #woso fanfics #leah williamson x reader #leah williamson #leah williamson imagine

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mask131 · 3 months

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The myth of Dionysos (5)

Follow-up of the loose translation/recap of the article I began covering here.

II) The Frenzied God

Voluptuousness and cruelty

In The Birth of Tragedy, Nietzsche associates those two words to define “Dionysism”. Indeed, they are the two faces of drunkenness, and thus the two aspects of the magic of the god. While he is able to create flows of milk, honey and wine for the prosperity of mankind, Dionysos can also cause disaster-and-misfortune-inducing metamorphosis. The daughters of Minyas, that refused to leave their husbands to follow Bacchus, are terrified when milk and wine starts pouring from the ceiling above them.

The women that follow Dionysos become Maenads or Bacchants: under the influence of the “mania” (the divine possession) they become invulnerable, with an enormous strength, and they are plunged in a murderous delirium that forces them to rip into pieces the young beasts they just breastfed – sometimes they even kill their own children. The Bacchic “orgia” (rite, ritual) happens in three steps. First the oribasia, the disheveled race of the women through the mountain ; then the disparagmos, the sacrifice by ripping apart. This is the part of the ritual that is illustrated by Euripides’ Bacchants (405 BCE), with the murder of Pentheus by his mother Agave. “Foaming at the mouth, with rolling eyes, having lost her mind, possessed by Bacchus […] she took with both hands his left arm and, pushing with her foot against the flank of the unfortunate one, she disarticulated and ripped away the shoulder, not just with her sole strength, but with the power the god offered her.” The third time of the ritual is the omophagia, the devouring of the raw, barely dead, meat that was just lacerated.

The Dionysian cult introduces a ritual cruelty. In Arcadia, women are flagellated. In Boeotia, women are chased by the priest of Dionysos, who is armed with a sword ; and as a substitute to a human victim, a young veal wearing cothurnus and symbolizing a child is killed for the god. Through the “mania”, Dionysos imposes upon his followers the cruelty of which he was a victim: he was chased by Lycurgus, he was ripped apart and devoured by the Titans. From this arises the voluptuousness that is tied to the cruelty of the Bacchants, as they can, by satisfying their darkest instincts, life again the suffering of the god that possesses them.

Between life and death: contradictions

The ambiguity of the Dionysian intoxication, bringing joy and fury, life and death, is reflected in the animals that follow the god. On one side, animals of fecundity, such as the goat, the donkey, the bull. On the other side, ferocious and murderous beasts, such as the lion, the lynx or the panther. This contradiction is a symbol of what Nietzsche calls the “deadly-silent clatter”, the Dithyrambes of Dionysos. This god, nicknamed Bromios (the roaring one) is followed by a parade of loud music made by tambourines, flutes and cymbals, loud music that makes the Maenads dance to the point of convulsions. But, the god can also suddenly impose a strong silence, where even the Maenads stay immobile and frozen, as if petrified.

Even the origins of the god are placed in this contradiction, since his birth mixes life and death. Which is probably why the dead have such an important place in both his cult and myth. Horace tells of how Dionysos went into the Underworld to fetch back his mother. In Aristophane’s parody The Frogs (405 BCE), he goes in the realm of Hades to bring back Euripides. The third day of the Anthesteria, is dedicated to the dead, who are supposed to come back to haunt the living. The affinities of Dionysos with dead will even allow Heraclite to identify Dionysos to Hades, saying they both were the “Plouton”, the “giver of riches”. The various versions of Dionysos’ romance with Ariadne also prove this oscillation between life and death: sometimes Dionysos is the one that consoles and comforts Ariadne after Theseus abandonment, other times (such as in Homer’s Odyssey) he is rather a jealous lover who sends death to Ariadne through Artemis. The many contradictions of the Dionysism, and especially its unstoppable cruelty, made it very difficult to locate it within a political system, and it explains as such its subversive role in Greek society.

Disturbing the social and political order

If Dionysos is presented as a foreign god, it is because such an exoticism translates the strangeness of a god with no fixed place, of a cult that disdains temples to rather have a mobile and open worship. The “thiasis”, the very basis of the Dionysian religion, is found outside of all the social norms, since this group gathers without recognizing any distinction between men and women, poor and rich, citizens and slaves. On another hand, Dionysos is composed of a feminine strength and a subversive power that makes the effeminate god a champion of the “dark” or “nocturnal side”, as a counterpart to the diurnal, ordered and masculine power of Apollo. This god, that drags women away from their loom to hunt them down the mountains, can only break down the familial order – and thus, by extension, weaken the political order. The paroxysm of this disturbance is reached within The Bacchants, where the social, then political, dislocation of Thebes is crowned by the destruction of the palace, the very symbol of the royal power.

But even beyond all this, it is the very human values that are disturbed by Dionysos’ very existence: he is a god born from a mortal woman, a deity that stays close to humans and that allows them to be assimilated to him. Unlike the cult of all the other Greek gods, the Dionysian religion destroys the frontier between humanity and divinity.

As such, the cult of Dionysos had a cathartic role in Ancient Greece: it set mankind free (at least for a time) from his civic past and duties, as well as from his cruel desires and instincts. Imported in Rome, the “orgia” degenerated into a licentious feast and will soon be forbidden. Rome will rather honor Bacchus through art, by highlighting his role as a god of wine, and as the joyful musician of the bacchanals, which will be a loved subject of the European classical painting. It is this “weakened” or “watered-down” version of Dionysism that will survive in European culture until the end of the 19th century, when the philosophers and the poets will rediscover the true roots of the god.

#dionysos #dionysus #greek mythology #greek gods #bacchants #greek myth #ancient greece #the myth of dionysos

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shotgunbunny · 1 year

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Cherry wine

Bunny walks the aisle

WC:3.2k+ GIF by cevanscentral

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5

[dark! cult leader!Ari Levinson x airhead!Reader]

[warnings: will have dubcon/noncon, cult aspects, 6'6 Ari, Older man and younger woman, reader is over 18!, will have murder, violence etc. air head reader!, busty reader, basically bimbo reader!]

[this chapter: so very culty, strange behaviour from everyone, manipulation, a wedding, reader finally seeing something wrong, blood, Literally the whole wedding it's so culty.]

The day was finally here, and the town was somber yet enthusiastic. It was such a strange mix, the air being cold and the people being sad yet the sun was shining on your skin making you warm and everyone you passed was smiling. There was something strange occurring yet you didn't know what it was.

You allowed the somber buzz of the crowds become music to your ears as you got ready to wed the towns messiah. You were so very nervous everything had gone by so fast, and you had learned so much. You felt your heart racing in your chest mix with the sinking feeling in your stomach. Something was so very wrong today. Yet it was meant to be your wedding day, the happiest day of your life. So why didn't you feel the happiness?

You took a deep breath, the wedding was at night in the chapel that had an open top that allowed for the snow to blast in and coat the pews with it's soft white blanket appearance. It also meant that while flecks of snow floated into the ceremony, the stars would bleed their light above you. It was very beautiful from the sounds of it, but it was so very odd. The cold atmosphere that was supposed to unite you under the darkness.

You looked up into the mirror in front of you and sighed, releasing all your nerves with your breath and reached to grab the hairbrush. You halted, your hand hovering above the handle, you stared looking at your nails and how beautiful they were. Ari had taken you to get them done, and they were utterly stunning. They were painted white with a design that made it look like it was lace, it was so delicate. You strayed your eyes to your finger that held the ring that Ari had proposed to you with. It was starting to feel heavy and only then did it truly hit you how short of a time you'd known Ari.

You might be an airhead but at least you come to realise the short passage of time that had occurred between you and the strange man that you were meant to marry soon. Your heart pumped faster and your averted your eyes to your reflection. This was a mistake, and you didn't know what to do. You couldn't run away, the whole town was under Ari's boot and if he heard about your runaway attempt he would stomp down and make sure you were stopped.

Your doubts tumbled on even when the women came in to help you get ready. You remained silent and quite like a doll while the makeup artist did her work at trying to make you look like an angel. You saw the shimmer on your eyelid and the painted lips you were adored with. You looked utterly stunning. Your face was smoothed out and a light blush applied as well as a small bit of contour. But your eyes were the most captivating part. You lashes were modest but you still had a doe eyed look, mixed with the glitter and the small dark under eye makeup, you looked innocent.

Next was your hair, You had no idea what they were going to do, but when they were done, you stared at the results. Utterly perfect, that seemed to be all you looked like.

Yet you didn't care, your heart was still hammering over the wedding that was to occur and how you had no way of stopping it. A tap on your shoulder notified you that it was time to get into your dress and prepare for the end of your independence. You rose and took the covered dress and headed into the bathroom where a long mirror stood. You unzipped the protector and a piece of paper tumbled out. You placed the dress on the hanger behind the door and went for the paper.

You picked it up and unfolded it, Ari had written you a note and your heart raced even harder. 'My love, My bunny. This dress I have given you is a family heirloom, all the women have worn the dress when getting married and now it's your turn. I'll be waiting for you at the altar. Yours forever, A.'

You stared at the dress, you could tell it had been modified many times for the different types of women in the Levinson family, and now it has been modified you. You stared, and took breaths slow and deep to calm your heart. After calming down you took the coat gently off the rack and slowly you stepped into it and pulled it up. When you had adjusted it so it fit comfy and held you perfectly and dared to look at your refection.

Your breath was taken from your lungs, the lace sleeves were gorgeous as well as the plunging neckline that was glamourised with more lace. The dress was so long that when you walked you knew it would trail behind you. You looked like a Goddess.

You closed your eyes, even if things were indeed moving so incredibly fast, Ari had promised his love solely for you. And this amount of commitment was positive. You just hoped that all the secrets that wouldn't cause damage to your relationship were out and not lurking behind any nasty corners. You gulped, if that did happen you could atleast be a trophy wife that spend her husbands money and finds happiness in objects, your heart ached at that though. If things ever went wrong in the future, you would prepare a plan on a way to escape and not get caught. But for now, you had to get on with the happiest day of your life.

You walked out and heard the gasps of awe. You smiled and span, you then saw one of the women rise and dig out a long veil. You recognised her as the woman that did your hair, she smiled as she walked towards you, you bowed and tilted your head, presenting your scalp to her. She gently placed the veil on your head and sighed dreamily when you brought your head up. You pushed the veil over you head and smiled.

"Oh! Are there any shoes?" The other women laughed at you, and you looked down shyly before the make up artist placed a soft hand on your shoulder. "Honey, in the ceremony you walk bare foot down the aisle over the petals. Don't worry, your feet will be covered by your dress and Ari made sure every step you take is safe." Your heart started racing again. You truly were not ready for what was going to occur. You had no idea what this ceremony was, and that small voice of your friends from another town, echoed in your head, "It's a cult! Your whole town is totally in a cult!". Oh god. What if it was true, it can't be. The Gods everyone worshipped always provided miracles, always something that no human could do.

You took a breathe and quickly blinked back the tears that slithered into your eyes. You closed you eyes to stop them coming out and kept then closed. You smiled and let yourself day dream instead about how handsome Ari would look. You opened your eyes, a smile still on your face and the thought of Ari waiting for you at the end of the aisle with so much love and adoration let you forget about the crisis that occurred in your brain. "I'm ready to get married." A chorus of cheers danced around the room and you looked at the time it was 8pm. Time had moved so fast while you were thinking about the occasion. So fast that you had to go to the chapel in an hour.

It was beyond anything you had ever imagined. The pillars that stood at the altar were so big and beautifully made. The aisle was littered with white petals and a small sprinkling of snow. It looked as if heaven had shined down some of its beauty onto Earth. Your heart raced fasted as you took in all the guests. All dressed in black or red making them contrast the occasion even further. Your eyes looked around for your parents when you felt your heart shatter.

Ari had told you that didn't want to come, that they would rather die than see their awful child marry a man who was a God. You felt tears gather in your eyes, why would your parents abandon you on the best day of your life and say such nasty things. The inkling of doubt you felt earlier raised up inside you and you fought it down. You couldn't run away now. You were here and everyone would see you leaving. Especially Ari.

You dragged your eyes up to look at him and your breathe was swept away at how truly handsome he was. He stood tall, dressed in a black suit with a black shirt underneath to show off his white tie that matched with your dress. You saw he had shoes on and your curiosity grew even further. Why was he in shoes and you barefoot? What was this ceremony?

Your thoughts were cut off quickly when gentle piano music started playing. The song was so delicate and soothing. You turned and saw all the bridesmaids walk down the aisle and take a seat on the front row next to the groomsmen. You took in a breathe and smiled at the strange older woman who was meant to walk you down the aisle. She wasn't Ari's mother, infact she wasn't even related to Ari but apparently she knew him incredibly well. She brought your veil over your face

She flashed you a smile back and gave you a small bouquet of red roses and looped her arm through yours. The music suddenly stopped and a deep guitar played a slow tune that sounded so somber and gentle. The crowd all silenced, so that not even a breath was heard you knew it was time to begin walking. You took a deep breathe in and began walking with the woman who you were currently connected to. You kept your head down looking at the white floor and dragged your feet against it feeling speckles of cold and softness graze your underfoot.

You finally reached the steps and turned to the strange woman and gave here your bouquet to hold. She accepted them and left to sit down. You looked up and began to climb the marble steps still decorated in petals and snow. Ari held his hand out and you shakily accepted, standing beside him in front of a man who looked like a priest but was dressed purely in red and held a book that was encased in a solid, gold cover.

Ari looked down at you and squeezed your hand before he moved the veil over your head and gasped. "You look look utterly perfect bunny. So very beautiful." You smiled softly and gulped. It was too late, you were doomed something was so very wrong and you could never escape. The priest then began to speak whilst Ari retook your hand and held it firmly in his large hand.

Your brain blocked out the words of the priest finding his repeated words of love and respect mundane. You were finally snapped out of it when you saw movement behind you and watched as Ari brought your conjoined hands Infront of your faces and spread them. You admired momentarily just how small your hand was compared to his and then looked at the two young boys the approached the altar you were under holding rope. You looked at Ari feeling your heart race and panic settle in.

"It's fine my love. You'll see, there's absolutely nothing to fear." You closed your eyes letting yourself settle in this situation. You opened them again and saw Ari looking at you with soft eyes, you returned them and watched as the two boys gave the rope to the priest. He then tied your hands together tight. You decided that now you were going to listen to every word that man says scared that something strange will occur again.

"These beings are now united, but we must see if the fire of the world will destroy their love that unites them." You watched as the priest lit a match and your heart raced incredibly fast allowing for panic to fill your face again Ari simple cooed at you. Your stared at his calm face and then at the match that touched the rope. You stared as it lit and burned it. It hurt for a minor second, like a prick of a needle and you watched in fascination as the rope flashed with fire and the died down, still completely intact.

Your mouth gaped open at what just occurred. The rope should be burnt and so should you hand as well as Ari's yet everything was still intact and perfect. You brought your gaze back to him and he stared at you smugly. The priest then brought his wrinkled hands towards the rope and undid the knot that tied you with Ari. Yet your hands remained together. You clutched at his hand needing his support and strength to get you through this strange ceremony that was fogging your brain up.

"Their love can take any heat that comes their way. This has been shown. They are strong together. They will always remain united under each and every storm and will always embrace one another after each and every day. This love is pure and undying, this love is one we all wish for. Ari's very heart pumps blood purely for her and her blood runs only for him. Which is why they must exchange it. They must taste the very liquid which bonds them as soul mates, they must consume the liquid that has been in their hearts so that they can taste the heart of their lovers without causing harm."

Your confusion had grown even more. The priest stood aside and you saw a small table behind him and on it sat a chalice that was decorated in rubies and diamonds. It was gorgeous. You looked and saw a matching dagger. You looked up at Ari, and he smiled down at you adoringly. He led you to the small table and brought your hand to his lips where he placed a tender kiss. You watched enchanted by his grace and beauty as he picked up the gorgeous weapon. He laid your palm flat in his hand and then dragged the knife across your skin, harsh and fast. A hiss of pain left your lips as you watched the blood quickly rise out of the slice.

Ari grabbed your hand and squeezed your blood into the chalice. You watched as it dripped a fair amount into it, when you heard the sound of the blade running across Ari's skin. You stared as you watched him make his hand into a fist and squeeze the blood that was oozing out of his cut into the chalice. Your blood was mixing together and when the goblet was half way filled, Ari drew your hands away. He quickly wrapped your hand up in a bandage ensuring it was tight and didn't cover up your ring finger. He then did the same and led you back to your previous positions under the altar.

The priest then took the goblet and stood infront of you both holding it out. "Their blood is mixed, just like their hearts. Their fates intertwined. When the drink from this cup they shall be each others for eternity. Their love will never cease and they will forever belong to one another." He then presented the chalice to Ari. Ari released your hand and gently took the goblet and drank. Your heart fell into your stomach. You didn't want to drink blood. You didn't want to do this no matter how beautiful it was. This was sick.

Before you could even say no, Ari had placed the rim of the goblet against your lips and tipped the liquid down your throat. You tasted metal, and held back the gag in your throat and swallowed. When it was all gone, Ari pulled it away and gave the chalice back to the older man. You saw the blood on Ari's bottom lips and reached up to swipe it away. Ari smiled and then wiped the blood away from your plump, painted lips.

"Now the binding of the rings." A young girl dressed in a cute pink dress then walked up the aisle and presented you both with rings that was on a read pillow. Ari took a ring and placed it on your finger, he then nodded at you. You softly smiled at the girl and took the ring watching her quickly scamper away before you slide the ring on Ari's hand. You stared up at him pleadingly, begging for this strange ceremony to be over. He simply squared his shoulders and turned to face the man too.

"Now they have consumed their love, they have accepted each other. They will never leave one another out and will always worship one another as if they were God's themselves. This love will please the ones we worship and will bring us all peace. Wherever these two journey, love shall follow as they are soulmates. I now pronounce you man and wife. I present to you all, Mr and Mrs. Levinson. You may now kiss your bride."

You watched in slow motion as Ari brought his lips down to yours. You closed your eyes and kissed him back. You looped your arms around his neck and pretended that this wasn't some strange ceremony, but infact a loving wedding with a normal husband. You felt him pull away and stare down at you, looking at you as if you were the only thing truly holding him down to the world.

"I love you so much bunny. You did so good for me. I promise that I will make every day amazing for you. I will get you the moon and the sun. You are mine my love just as I am yours. I am your slave from now til the end of time." He placed his forehead against yours and smiled, you couldn't help but smile back, finally feeling the love you had cherished for him surround you. All your doubts vanished, yes you had an incredibly weird wedding but there was worse and it brought Ari so much closer to you.

You let out a squeal as he picked you up bridal style. He leaned down and kissed you once more. "Let's go Mrs. Levinson, it's time for me to join you in being barefoot too." He winked at you and your nerves fired up knowing that tonight was the night you were going to consummate your marriage. He strolled down the aisle holding you tightly before he put you in the passenger seat of his car. You placed your hand on your heart. Trying to slow it down. And closed your eyes, preparing for tonight.

#ari levinson x reader #ari levison x reader #dark ari levinson x reader #dark ari levinson #ari levinson #ari levinson x woc #ari levinson x female reader #ari levinson x innocent!reader #chris evans x reader #chris evans #ari levinson x y/n #ari levinson x you #ari levinson au #ari levinson dark #ari levinson fic #ari levinson series

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writersmilex · 6 months

Text

Rescue Mission

Magnus Hammersmith X Fem | Reader

Summary : (Y/n) goes to save Toki and Abigail by herself. And have a reunion with an old lover.

_____________________________

"Bastards!" (Y/n) angrily slams her hands on the table as she watches the remaining band members party like there is nothing going on.

"they really think they can avoid what's going on? Just like that?!" (Y/n) sneers in frustration, turning away and leaving the room.

"I wanted to help find Toki and Abigail. But Offdensen won't let me..." She crosses her arms as she walks down the dark halls of Mordhaus and moves into her room. "It's too dangerous, he said." She Looks over at her desk filled with various clues she had taken from the systems to find their location. Along with the memories of the beginning that she can still remember so vividly. (Y/n)'s eyes shine as she has made a breakthrough in her research. Her gaze set upon the location she is sure to find her missing friends.

"Don't worry Toki, Abigail. I'm coming for you." Her fists, resting on the desk, clench in determination.

~~~~

With the research she has done, it was quite easy to find the location that (Y/n) suspected where her friends would be. You remember the place vaguely. This is where the band had their audition for a second guitarist, much to Swkisgaar’s dismay at the time, he scared away most of the people who tried the audition, except one: and that was Toki.

(Y/n) was there when it happened, and that’s when she met Toki for the first time, a hopeful and ambitious kid with noticeable musical talent, if he could keep with someone like Skwisgaar. (Y/n) was impressed as well and took a liking to him quickly, he is naturally likeable, always has been… Thinking about Toki saddens her now, she misses him so badly. Her stupid friends think they can ignore the situation which angers her. Going after Toki and Abigail by herself is the best way to cease all the mixed emotions she is feeling. She is gonna get an earful from Charles when she gets back… And maybe from Nathan as well.

Upon arriving at the place, it wouldn’t be smart to face whoever took her friends head-on. (Y/n) can pick fights with other women in bars but this is not a bar sadly. She’ll take an entrance by the side to get in unnoticed. It wasn’t a good idea to come without a solid plan, in the desperation to get Toki back there wasn’t a plan at all. The best she can do is to sneak in, and get her friends out. It’s the next best thing! (Y/n) is flexible enough to crawl through a broken window, heart racing, there is no way back now. Only forward, and that’s exactly what she is going to do. (Y/n) likes to imagine that she is in a stealth video game, it helps her calm her nerves a little bit. She didn’t come completely unarmed, she has a hunting knife that she bought while out with Nathan, it will surely be useful now… For example, he knocks out a skinhead-looking fellow with the hilt of the weapon, and takes the keys that were dangling from his belt. She has a feeling that these keys will take her where she wants to go.

She tries the keys on the nearest door she finds. The metal door creaks and groans as it opens slowly, light from the hall seeping into the dark room, then the light hits two individuals that (Y/n) recognized instantly.

It’s Abigail and Toki, huddled together in each other’s arms, quivering and cowering. They look injured. The two squint in the light. "(Y/n)?" Abigail tries to look at the figure obscured by the shadow's light. But her silhouette is recognizable. "(Y/n)!" Toki squeaks, his whole expression lighting up with a newfound hope. (Y/n) enters the room, smiling at her friends. "I'm here. Here to save you." She slowly approached her horrified friends. The faces of her friends fall when another shadow joins the light. An all so familiar figure.

"(Y/n) watch out!" Abigail Cries and tries to warn her. Unfortunately (Y/n) is too slow to react. Before she could even turn around to see who was behind her, she struck on the head, knocking her out cold before she could even hit the ground.

The figure is standing over the unconscious (Y/n) on the ground. Toki and Abigail cower in fear. ~~~~

(Y/n) groans in pain as she comes to, she is seated upright in a chair. Her neck hurts from the uncomfortable position and she can feel a liquid trickle down her temple. Her wrists and feet were bound to the armrests and chair legs with ropes tightly, surely it would leave marks on her wrists.

Once she gains her bearings she looks up and makes eye contact with a familiar face. A face she had come to hate, “Of course, it’s you…” She hisses at her ex-lover: Magnus Hammersmith.

"You're still as surprising as always (Y/n)." Magnus says, sounding amused. He then leans forward, one of his forearms resting on his knee, curly hair swaying slightly. His expression softens a little, “And still as beautiful as the day you betrayed me.” He admits, reaching his hand closer to gingerly taking a strand of (Y/n) hair within his fingers, feels soft…

(Y/n) scoffs at him. She jerked her head away from him, her hair slipping from his grasp easily. "There is no time for catch-up. I'm here to get what is dear to me." She says, staring daggers at him. "and you are not one of those people anymore." She sounds so cold. Naturally, that is. Magnus knows her, she won’t let anyone get in the way of the things she wants. And right now, all she wants is her friends. He looks affected by (Y/n)'s words. It seems that his feelings are unrequited now. After he was kicked out of the band, and dumped by her, he spent months mourning the end of their relationship. Even after that, there is a part of him that still misses her, and now seeing her again has rekindled that fire.

Mangus leans back and crosses his arms, sighing in disappointment "Just hand me my friends and walk away… Revenge is for pussies." (Y/n)'s tone is direct, not wasting any time. "you don't see it, do you!" Magnus raises his voice and stands up, leaning over her, "doesn’t matter, you'll see it soon." He caresses her knuckles with his fingers, something he used to do often back then.

"Lock her up, but hurt her and you’re dead" Magnus orders two cannibals while pointing in the direction of the dungeon. The cannibals grab (Y/n)'s chair and drag it away from the former Dethklok member.

"You're gonna pay for this!" (Y/n) screams at Magnus as she disappears into the shadows.

~~~~

(Y/n)'s chair is pushed into a dark basement. The force causes the chair to tumble onto its side. (Y/n) groans in pain as her head makes a quick impact to the floor. She is still tied to the chair, stuck in the side and not able to move. The door closes and locks. The room is completely dark. It takes a moment for (Y/n)'s eyes to adjust and see a figure move slowly towards her with caution.

"(Y/n)! Are you hurt?" She can hear Abigail's quivering voice. She then feels someone fumble with the ropes, first her arms and then her legs. Once (Y/n) is free from her restraints, she crawls over to embrace Abigail tightly.

"oh God, Abby I'm so sorry I failed to save you and Toki, I'm so, so sorry." (Y/n) pleads for forgiveness into her friend's long and curly hair. Hugging her tightly in order to comfort her and herself as well. Abigail hugs (Y/n) back with the same force. Squeezing her back firmly. "You tried (Y/n), you did your best," she mumbles in response. While it was foolish to come along, the effort is still admirable.

"(Y-Y/n)?" a meek voice joins in. Toki crawls forward to the two women. (Y/n) gasps upon the sight of one of her dearest friends. She lets go of Abigail and wriggles out of her grip to shuffle over to Toki and embrace him. "(Y/n)? Am-ams yous real?" Toki questions shakily, moving his shaking hand to pet (Y/n)'s hair, which does feel real.

"I'm here, Toki. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come alone." (Y/n) remains a firm hold on her friend's shoulders, trying her best not to cry at the state Toki is in. Squeezing him securely, she turns her head to plant a kiss on his head, she has never done this before, but it felt right to express her affection like this. He needs it... One of her hands gently rakes through his hair to keep him close.

Toki starts to sob, clutching (Y/n) like his life depends on it, chanting her name over and over, like a prayer. Abigail shuffles over and joins the little group huddle. (Y/n) continues to mumble her apologies to the other two. Toki and Abigail give her a squeeze in response.

Over the course of a few days, (Y/n) did her best to stay as strong as she could. Although Magnus didn't seem to want to torture her. But it still hurt (Y/n) to watch her friends get hurt. If only she could get her hands on Magnus’ neck, she would snap it twice, decapitate him for good measure and then keep his scalp as a trophy. Her nails have been scrapping against the armrests of the chairs she gets tied in out of sheer anger.

(Y/n) got tied to the chair again and could do nothing but watch her friends being tortured. The feeling of helplessness eating away at her. Beating herself up for being so stupid in coming alone, beating Magus’ up mentally for being a pussy.

All she could do was pray that Dethklok would finally grow some balls and just get here already. Hopefully the fans would eventually realise that a band member is missing, that would surely motivate them.

~~meanwhile~~

Charles massages his forehead in a mix of frustration and exhaustion, there is no evidence of Toki’s and the producer’s whereabouts yet. Not even that… (Y/n) has gone missing now as well. One Kloketeer walks up to the Manager with purpose, seemingly having no information to share. "Sir, from the evidence found in Lord (L/n)’s room, it most likely they went out to find Toki and Mrs. Remeltindrinc." The kloketeer announces in a rather hurried tone.

"sir, (Y/n) has gone missing as well." a kloketeer announces to Charles, who sits up straight upon hearing the news. "what?" his tone is mixed with anger and astonishment. He should have known that (Y/n) would go after Toki and Abigail by herself.

Charles lays his face in his hand in disappointment. Glasses falling crooked upon the movement.

"damn it (Y/n)..." Typical (Y/n) would rather solve problems herself, and as usual she got in trouble for it.

~~~~

Being a hostage of Magnus and his goons felt like it was going on forever, but it was probably just a week or 3. Her wrists feel raw from the restraints, she’s exhausted and nearly completely burned down from her emotional distress and what is clearly a trauma that is developing.

She doesn’t have the energy to fight anymore, breathing hard to control herself. Toki and Abigail are hanging upside down on a cross. (Y/n) can’t stand to see Toki’s face like this, full of pain. He didn’t deserve any of this! He’s probably going to think that this was all his fault, which it really isn’t. If he is going to think like that, (Y/n) will have to remind him every day that it’s not his fault.

The door is suddenly kicked open, revealing the rest of Dethklok!

"Took you fucking long enough." (Y/n) complains as her adrenaline is kicked into action and she starts thrashing in her restraints. Murderface rushes over to her and he unties her, while the others save Toki and Magnus. "It wasch really difficult okay." He dares to argue back while lifting (Y/n) out of the chair, putting her arm over his shoulders to aid her balance. The others help Abigail and Toki down.

(Y/n) gets a feeling, a gut instinct. There are some loose ends she has to tie up. Surely if she didn’t it would haunt her for the rest of her life. (Y/n) wriggles out of Murderface’s grip and moves over to hold Abigail, she feels kind of cold. She squeezes her firmly to share what little remaining warmth she has herself.

Once the band is reunited, the prophecy has begun and that masked assassin is defeated, he is completely disintegrated, which is probably the most brutal thing (Y/n) has seen in a long time.

The red light dies down as (Y/n) leans over to Abigail to whisper something to her. "There is something is have to do." She says and lets her go to leave the building.

"Do what?" Abigail asks, she doesn't get an answer to her question as (Y/n) has already disappeared.

~~~~

Magnus was able to escape the building, shocked by what he had witnessed. He clutches the gaping wound in his chest, he fears that he won't last very long if this injury is left untreated.

It takes a moment for Magnus to notice the shadow looming over him, once he notices, Magnus slowly looks up in fear. But that fear dies down as soon as he sees who is standing over him.

"(Y/n)?" He spits out a bit of blood while croaking out her name. The look in her eyes is not as hateful as it was before.

(Y/n) looks apologetic, getting down on one knee in front of Magnus to converse with him. “You hurt my friends, Magnus. I cannot forgive you for what you’ve done. Revenge is for pussies." She says in a judgemental tone and takes out a handkerchief from her pocket that she takes on her person most times.

Magnus hisses in pain as she puts pressure on the bleeding wound. "But I… Missed you. And I know I kind of screwed you over too." (Y/n) admits sadly, looking Magnus in the eye. "And I'm going to grant you a second chance." She raises a hand on his cheek to keep his focus on her while she talks. "Don't make me regret it." (Y/n) Then grabs one of his arms to guide it over his shoulders, helping him up, taking him away to get help.

Magnus doesn't fight her and lets her take him away from all this. and like an angel, she grants him another chance at life, simply because she still has a soft spot for him.

~~~~

Magnus doesn’t remember how he got here when he awakens in a hospital bed, all alone. (Y/n) has disappeared, she had simply dropped him off it seems. He takes a moment to think before looking around the room. At the side of the hospital bed is where he finds something out of place. There is a bloody handkerchief and a small note. It reads:

'Contact me when you are ready.' - (Y/n) (L/n)

Followed with a phone number.

___________________________________________I swear to you, I want to write a sort of aftermath that I’m going to write later.Thanks for reading.

- Smilex

#x reader #reader insert #imagines #metalocalypse x reader #metalocalypse #metalocalypse imagines #dethklok imagines #angst #magnus hammersmith #dethklok #magnus hammersmith x reader #toki wartooth

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incorrect-ikevamp-quotes · 7 months

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Comte Drama CD Translations, Track Four: A Gentlemanly Escort

Once again folks, I am not a professional don't try this at home, these are just my rough transcriptions of each track in the CD because I need fodder for my simping. More beneath the cut, since most of these are pretty long, don't wanna clog anyone's dash:

So after Comte and MC go shopping for a dress, they leave for the party they're attending that night. This track begins with their arrival to the venue.

Every time we arrive at a ball together, it makes me remember when we stepped into your debutante side by side. There’s no need to thank me. …You were the one who dared to enter a new world, and that boldness attracted the people around you. All I did was lend a helping hand. …But I did enjoy decorating you with my own hands, styling your hair beautifully. The excitement I felt that night is still fresh in my heart… I was a little jealous when the eyes of the men all around you would linger, my dear. Come a little closer, I’d like to ward off their gazes. It’s best to show that you belong to me like this.

The way I went from awwww to clutches pearls lustfully 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 he is just the perfect mix of "that's adorable" and "oh. i like that--"

It’s time to dance. (When you listen to the audio he literally says: "HO? DANCE TIME" I'M DYING) My lady (OJOU-SAN!!!!!!), would you do me the honor of your hand…and join me for this dance? Come now, surrender yourself to an exciting and sweet night Beneath a dazzling chandelier, hands enfolded like this… Tucking our hips together, eyes on each other, stepping to the rhythm of the music, …my heart is always racing at times like these. (AWWWWWWWW)

I swear this man invented romance, what a smooth criminal. Although I can't lie, I love when he's charming 🥰 (I just love his honest self even more!)

Now, listen carefully to the waltz triplet/triple time… Un, deux, trois, un, deux, trois…on the first turn, turn right Yes…you executed that turn beautifully You seemed a lot more relaxed, spine straight. You did just as I taught you. Since we’re on the topic of dancing, men’s roles are often compared to frames. As a pair, they’re termed the Flower and the Frame The insinuation is that a man must lead a woman, who is the “flower” in order to make her movements shine as brightly as possible. So right now…my mission is to make you bloom the most beautifully on this dance floor. …I don’t think you have anything to worry about. You shine more beautifully than anyone else.

I love this bit just because I was like "lore. IS THAT LORE???? WOOOOOO GIMME THE L O R E" but also incredibly interesting when it comes to gender roles and Comte. Only because a lot of his content manifests at this fascinating crossroads: he's been raised under these sorts of conventions so, on some level, he acts on them without thinking. He also lives under the current impression that that's what people expect from him in the present to gain their approval. Yet, how he actually conceives of a significant other and how he is in private make for a disconnect by comparison.

(If I'm not being perceived, do I exist? Is honestly the uncharted territory that's saturated with so much intrigue for me when it comes to Comte)

Because when he feels comfortable being himself in more private settings/moments he calls MC his "life partner" (and is very adamant about regarding her in equal terms), and he tends to be the more relationally/socially/emotionally savvy of the two (which are qualities often relegated to women). I think I particularly enjoy the way he tries so hard to cultivate a working image of "a proper man" because he's just so accustomed to it for survival; he's doing it on a level of awareness and unawareness, all while believing something entirely different. It makes for such a vivid character study, a very realistic intersection of lived experiences and unspoken feelings.

Also. "You shine more beautifully than anyone else." stares into the distance with so many feelings. I just have such a fondness for the way he can be so silly and so smooth, but in the depths of his heart he's so truly in love. tackles him

Oh, the next turn is a bit tricky, so be careful. I’ll give you the signal…un, deux, trois, now, to the left… Yes, that’s it~ (HE’S HAVING FUN SOBS) My goodness…have you gotten so good at dancing I can hardly recognize you? Compared to when we first started, you don’t look away shyly as much as you used to. Every time I dance with you, I can see how much you improve Ah…I’m sure we’ve practiced quite a bit at home, but more than that, it’s the result of your endless effort.

I thought it was cute to see some of MC's growth here c: he's sweet to compliment her~

I would be honored…if you were trying to get better for the sake of dancing with me. I really enjoy dancing with you, too. When you’re in my arms, it makes my heart flutter to see you moving as smoothly as a bird flapping its wings. And every time our eyes meet, my heart tightens so sweetly in my chest. …None of my childhood tutors ever told me that dancing with someone else could feel this way. (HE SEEMS????? SO GENUINELY CONFUSED?????? TEARS IN MY EYES BABY NO) You’re the one who taught me the most important part about dancing Thank you

Aight but this was the part that hit me straight in the kokoro. So many things here I want to touch on (other than him ofc)

The way he seems so...genuinely, almost demure? In that first line? So 👉👈 about her trying to keep pace with him, trying to meet him halfway. It's even sweeter to me considering it's something that he really enjoys, so the idea that MC would want to learn because she wants to share it with him and make it more fun for him is so 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 (personally I love dancing so this is a hard mood). Ig I'm so softe for how he's like 'not that that has to be the reason, but if it was I would be so happy.' (of course it's for you king, everything I do is for you because you're the sweetest 😚💜💜💜💜💜💜💜)

The way?????? He describes her enjoying herself??????? I. I'm not really sure if it's something specific to me, but I found it really moving. I don't know if it's the fact that he appreciates how much effort she puts into things, or this implicit like...recognition of her as her own person?? It's a little funny, it's going back to that contradictory idea I mentioned a bit ago. He's operating within the conceptualization of "the Flower and the Frame" but he's taken the conventional meaning and expanded/changed it, in a way. While he does recognize his role in it, part of it is operating more in line with the real parts of his personality: he thinks people who are talented and try hard at things are beautiful, and he likes to support them however he can. (There is an implication here that he assumes he's not special in quite the same way which makes me 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 pls Comte, I think a considerate and mindful person is just as wonderful)

And then that last part. Like. Do you ever just want to stick your head into a volcano because that's where I'm at ladies and gentlemen. The absolute heartache????? The agony inside me, the way he seems so earnestly surprised that one of the few things he did enjoy could feel even better, that it could take on an entirely new meaning. That, where it was once a way to pass the time or entertain people, now it has become something charged with so much love. The way a relationship is being deeply in tune with someone, and how dancing together can bring out the full potential/another permutation of that building synergy. The way, for lack of better phrasing, he falls in love with her a little more each time they dance together. (JUST BURY ME IN THE BACKYARD AIN'T NOBODY GONNA LOVE ME LIKE THIS)

The little sincere "thank you" at the end, the very real gratitude to be able to experience that. That she would gift him that. GOD I AM SO UNWELL, RICH BOY STOP DOING THIS TO ME!!!!! "A heart is a heavy burden" ass mf 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 I'm sorry I'm just that meme where I'm carrying him away from all those purebloods/aristocrats that make him feel like life is just one elongated and tiresome performance. Let me love him Crybird I'm fragile

…that went by so quickly. (IM YELLING HE’S SAD ITS OVER) Dancing with you is so much fun I find time just gets away from me all together. Well, let’s take to the floor again later and enjoy a little break for now. Are you thirsty? …Then I’ll get us some champagne, so please wait here. ---

And now we interrupt Minnie's sappy pining with a champagne break, we'll be back shortly.

Although man, he's like a little kid when he gets to dance--it's so cute??? The way he gets so excited, the way he's so clearly sad it's over despite this probably being like the hundredth time.

The implications. How he mentions that an eternity seems insurmountably long (and even after he runs the mansion, he felt that way), but dancing with her makes "time get away from [him]." What if I disappeared mysteriously into the ocean never to be see again

And his consideration for her, taking a break even though he could probably go for another song 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Sorry for the wait…Oh, who might this be? ("O Y A?" OMFG THE WAY HE’S LIKE 'bicc. Who u.' CRYING HIS TONE CHANGES SO FAST) …I see. Alas, she is my lover. I’m sorry, but could you give up on seeking her for a dance? Tonight is a special night, and I don’t intend to share her with anyone. It seems I can’t take my eyes off you for a single moment, that you were propositioned while I was only a few steps away. (Comte: NO TALK MC I'M A N G Y) I shouldn’t have let you go for a moment, even when the song was over.

…I don’t mind if you find it overprotective. I have no intention of concealing my possessiveness towards you. I won’t let it go like I used to. I decided to be more direct about my feelings when we agreed to be together. No matter who it is, I intend to proudly claim you as my lover. (O//O) …More, come closer. There is still another man interested in you. I’m in trouble if I don’t protect my beautiful lover from the likes of these opportunists.

Comte possessive and jealous makes brain go brrrrr, I regret to inform you all that--[obnoxiously loud Windows error sound]. Honestly it's hot every time I got nothing more to add, horny longing, awooga noises, be still my beating [redacted] etc.

…I think I’m full of contradictions. (LAUGHS AT HIMSELF BUT ALSO MURDER) I want to show off my beautiful lover, but I also don’t want anyone else to look at you. And when I look at you, my heart is at war between reason and instinct. …It takes everything I have just to hold back. …Is it repulsive/do you regret us now? I wouldn’t hold it against you if you said something like that. Then…shall we take our leave for some time alone? I’m not joking, I’m entirely serious. I always want you…

First of all Comte, contradiction is my kink (apparently?????? I am The Bearer of the Curse) so write that down. Second of all--

I love MC having the same brainrot as Comte stans of like 'oh no you being just a smidge yan is actually ungodly sexy and exactly what I signed up for, so dw about it 👍🏼.' I applaud Crybird for giving the people what they want. Although it makes me a little sad when he thinks he's too much/needy, I always want to pat him 🥺💜 I know who I married Comte CMERE

Also it will never stop being funny to me the way he's deadass that meme of the dog with the tennis ball/frisbee. It's hilarious every single time. Comte is seriously out here like:

Comte: Meet MC? Meet my lovely wife whom I cherish and is beautiful in every way conceivably possible?

Person: I like her too

Comte: NO TAKE ONLY PERCEIVE!!!! NO PERCEIVE ONLY SCRAM!!!!!!

Like this is peak comedy 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I really do love how much Crybird has fun with the purebloods in the sense that they can be so mature but also a bit childish??? He's so adorably petulant and petty in these moments it's hard not to coo.

Also the way he always wants her like he hasn't seen her in 17 years every single time. I LOVE THE UNADULTERATED AND UNMITIGATED YEARNING!!!!!!!!!!!! I ALWAYS WILL!!!!!!!

Aight that's it for this CD track, but the upcoming one is the hank pank. Until next time everyone, hope you enjoyed this ???th installment of Minnie's Brainrot Hours.

#ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp comte #ikevamp saint germain #ikevamp mc #not incorrect quotes #drama cd translation #**lies down on the floor**#do you ever just have so many feelings.......#i'd give my left kidney to dance with him just ONCE #'do you regret marrying me?'#comte if you ask me one more time i will not be held responsible for my actions #narrator voice: actions include “jumping him every waking moment and babying him”#“and/or redacted whatever the mood brings in the moment im not stingy”#but at the same time #**holds him gently in my arms** its okay gorgeous your vibes are immaculate and your companionship is invaluable #there's no one else but you for me

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strawbebehmod · 2 months

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Ok I've had enough of this "Alastor doesn't know about gay stuff" I keep seeing around. As a history nerd I honestly can't take it anymore.

Kiddos it's time to learn you a few things. First of all, compared to subsequent decades,

The 1920s were incredibly gay

Was it still illegal to perform homosexual acts, yes. Were gay people still abused and lost jobs for being gay, and were even socially excluded from cishet white society? Oh absolutely. Did most individuals have to stay closeted? Duh. But you know what wasn't a wide spread thing yet? The medicalization of homosexuality. Conversion therapy wasn't fully approved of by psychiatrists until the 40's. Crossdressing wasn't considered mental illness, scandalous, yes, but not mental illness. The haze codes were not implemented yet, and the combination of prohibition, the two decades prior of progressivism, and the horrors of world war one left the youngest generation with a rebellious spirit and a desire for breaking the law. And if you lived in a big city, being LGBT in the twenties was often better than being LGBT in the 30s, 40s, or even 50s.

Young rich kids would seek out queer cruising spots in cities as a form of tourism. Harlem was famous for it's yearly drag balls, and many of the most famous black artists at the time were infact lgbt. Broadway and Hollywood were full of individuals who people knew were not entirely straight. Hell, jazz was born in red light districts home to black queer people. In places like New York there were people famous for being openly gay and despite sodomy laws police would not care in the slightest about them.

And though the South was as fucked as it ever was with Jim Crow Laws and the race riots, New Orleans has always been one of the more progressive cities in the South and has always had a very large gay community. Between the inherit campiness and debauchery of Mardi gras to being the birth place of jazz, to new Orleans being the easiest place to get away with breaking prohibition laws in the south, Alastor as a mixed race black radio host playing jazz in New Orleans in the 20s ABSOLUTELY is familiar with the LGBT community of the time.

The thing is, the language used by the community at the time was so fundamentally different that alastor would not know what you are talking about if you spoke to him about modern LGBT issues. The pride flag did not even exist yet. Gay still meant happy to him in his age. "Bisexual" at the time was more akin to the term "trans" than being attracted to multiple genders, and transgender didn't exist yet as a word. But if you called yourself "a confirmed bachelor" he would understand you were a man who liked men. If you called yourself a "fairy" he would know you weren't cis. If you were a woman and told him you liked sapho or Peter pan, he'd know you liked women. And if you were wearing lavender, or a green carnation, a red bowtie, a violet (if you were a woman), or were a man with a peacock feather in your ensemble he would give you a knowing nod. He's not ignorant of the lgbtq. He's a man out of his time. He speaks a different language entirely to modern gay slang, so it seem he doesn't know anything about it. But he does. Gay and trans people have always been a thing and as a radio host, literally being on the forefront of mass media at it's beginnings, in arguably the best decade to be gay in the 20th century before the 60s, in a city so comfortable with what was considered debauchery that it gave birth to "devil music" and embraced it before anyone else, yes he knows what they are. He just doesn't have the modern language to express it.

#alastor hazbin hotel #1920s #lgbt history #rant #hazbin hotel #he would be confused as hell if you asked him where to find a gay bar to pick up twinks #but you ask him to take you to a saloon where all the fit young sailors hang out and he could instantly give you directions

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brrrkdslek · 2 months

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QUADRILATERAL LOVE!

✦ 057 — CARRYING THE 5TH GEN‼️💯🗣️

your heart raced as you stood on the stage then. it was just like every other time, except all eyes were on you, and only you. the feeling was surreal, you almost couldn't hold back the smile when you heard your many fans cheering your name.

as the music started, you counted the beats in your head and danced along to the song. your very first solo song—crazy diamond. yes, it was a reference to your favourite anime, jojo's bizarre adventures.

"my head is out of control." the flash of your evil grin made the crowd go wild. thankfully you weren't completely alone as your backup dancers circled you according to how it was rehearsed.

even through the terror and fear of fucking up your first ever debut live on inkigayo was heavy on your shoulders, your body moves fluently and each word of each verse and rap rolled off your tongue smoothly.

you hadn't even realised the song ended until you hit your ending pose and panted heavily as the crowd cheered and roared. if it weren't for the nudging of one of your backup dancers, you wouldn't have known it was time for you to hit your ending fairy.

you flashed a cute smile and blew a kiss towards the camera as the crowd screamed louder. for some reasons, there was a tightening feeling in your chest. you wanted to throw up, the thought was overtaking your body.

your face was blank as you walked backstage and let the staff change you and remove your makeup to head back to the company for a surprise party.

your heart was still racing as you sat on your soft leather chair, the makeup assistant gently rubbing the makeup off your face.

only upon a soft tap landing on your shoulder had you realised you were in the van, and already back at the company.

"you okay, hun? i thought you'd be more excited for your first solo debut..." your manager, holly(joestar), mumbled worriedly.

you shook your head, "it's not that, i'm just...." you trailed off, unable to put the sickening feeling in your stomach to terms. everything seemed wrong, blurry. you couldn't describe anything, were you even feeling it?

holly sighed as she rubbed your back, "it's okay, i assume your mood would get better when you step into that building." she tried to contain a giggle.

you chuckled, already having an image of what's waiting for you after entering the two large doors of the company.

just like you thought, the moment you opened the door, a small figure pounced themselves onto you. not even needing to look, you let out a soft chuckle and pulled down your mask.

"hey booms." the boy on your lap squealed and attacked you with kisses. you chuckled, unknowing of the lipstick he had on that was staining your face.

holly snorted and turned away, not wanting to ruin the surprise until you get inside. she composed herself before walking over and lifting boomi off your body by his armpits, "alright lovebirds, let's get inside shall we?"

boomi nodded excitedly and zoomed into the room, turning around to hurry the two older women inside.

you chuckled and stood up from the ground with a soft grunt, watching your little brother disappear into the room. holly patted your back, "feeling better?"

you frowned, for some reason the sickening feeling was still there. you forced a closed eye smile and let out an awkward laugh, "yeah, that kid always lift my mood." but why isn't it working now?

you brushed off the feeling and entered the dark room. you jumped when you heard a pop, the lights suddenly turned on and you shielded your eyes before letting out a tired groan.

"surprise!" a mixed voice of your and ateez' members filled the room as confetti splayed all over your head, covering you from head to toe.

you chuckled as everyone congratulated you. hongjoong passed you a champagne bottle as you stared at him a bit dumbfounded. you blinked a few times as hongjoong nodded with his arms crossed, like a proud father.

your eyes grew watery as you swallowed your emotions and shook the bottle violently as the staff pulled out their phones to film. popping the cork open, the champagne sprayed all over the place as your song blasted in the background.

some foam spilled on boomi's head and he scooped some up with his finger and eyed it curiously. "bubble!" he exclaimed before shoving his champagne-bubble-covered finger into his mouth.

it was chaos from then as everyone desperately tried to wipe his tongue and stop him from crying at the bitter taste.

you excused yourself top the bathroom and splashed some water on your face. no matter how much you loved boomi and how much you were willing to sacrifice for him, it's hard to always be on equal footing with the child.

you clenched your fists as some water dripped from your bangs and onto the sink, you watched the droplet flow into the drain. it was always about him, even now. today's supposed to be your special day but everyone's attention always goes back to him.

why? is it because he's younger?

maybe it's cause you can take care of yourself, but he can't.

the two voices were like angel and devil; one wanted to understand and be considerate, so selfless. but the other wanted to be angry and be envious, so selfish.

why? why is it that a 12 year old isn't capable enough to be independent?

maybe it's cause mother never took care him-

"she never took care of me either!" you shouted and slammed your fist onto the counter, the booming music from the main room muffling your pained scream.

the voices quieted down as a tear rolled down your cheek. you were always on your own, even after boomi was born. you were oh so lonely, such a sad and pitiful child. just thinking about it made your stomach churn. but even with such a heavy heart, you stood strong and pulled boomi from the chains that bounded you all your life-

did you?

...what?

are you that sure this is the best of his life?

i saved him-

he'd been bedridden for how long now?

your dull eyes widened as you continued to watch water drip down the sink, the transparent droplet was becoming more apparent. you could see the droplets better and clearer, is it the treatments you've been getting from holly?

oh.

you looked up at the mirror and saw the red liquid dripping from your nostril. your hand came up to wipe it away but it kept going. you cursed and tilted your head up while pinching the bridge of your nose, trying to stop the bleeding.

you heard a knock on the door followed by a loud muffled voice, "y/n? can you hurry, i need to pee!" yunho shrieked from outside as the image of him pressing his thighs together while shivering could've made you laugh if not for your situation.

you licked your dry lips and hummed, "i'll be out in a sec."

<PREV𖤐NEXT>

©BRRRKDSLEK 2024

#brrrkdslek 💬: quadrilateral love #YALLAALASKDKJ IM BACKKKK #IM BACKCKCAKFHWHEKFJDF #IM SO AUHUERHFUHGREF #ALMOST 400!!!!!!!!#OMG ILYGSM #TY GAYS<3333333 #ateez smau #ateez x reader #hongjoong x reader #seonghwa x reader #yunho x reader #yeosang x reader #san x reader #mingi x reader #wooyoung x reader #jongho x reader

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mixfolksanime · 11 months

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Mixed-race angel lights the way

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bralesscommie · 8 months

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My Tolkien Headcanons

Silmarillion and Lotr characters

Elrond

Has PTSD, possibly c-PTSD from the Third Kinslaying, losing his parents and growing up with the people who took away his home

Has sensory issues, mostly a hard time with crowds and loud noises (also for PTSD reasons), but also really hates some textures

Pretty bad migraines from foresight and tension headaches from anxiety to the point where a couple of times a month he can't work

Is a workaholic

Is bisexual

He/they in an elf way

Isn't white, it's kind of hard to tell his exact race with his very mixed genetics

Maglor

Has anxiety from growing up in the chaotic house of Fëanor

Is depressed

Uses music as escapism

He/him but doesn't mind he/they

Is pretty fluid sexuality wise

Maedhros

C-PTSD from being chained to a mountain and also like everything else that's ever happened to him

Has depression

Chronic pain in his back and shoulder, as well as phantom pain in his amputated arm

Has some kind of personality disorder

Is gay

He/him

Eärendil

Has anxiety from and is traumatized by the escape from Gondolin

Was not ready to be a dad

Straight

He/him

Is definitely not white

Elwing

Is traumatized by the Second Kinslaying, possibly PTSD

Bi-curious

She/her, has thought about adding a they to her pronouns

Eowyn

Has anxiety and depression

Has anger issues but is learning healthy coping mechanisms

Has trauma from SA, and does her best to spread awareness

Enjoys being butch in everyday life, but will dress up feminine once in a while

Is bisexual

She/her

Is happy being poly, but doesn't mind being in monogamous relationships

Arwen

Had really bad anxiety after Celebrían sailed, but is doing much better, though she still has occasional tension headaches

Sensory issues like her dad

Also similarly to her dad, she is mixed

Sapphic, but is open to very few men

She/her

Aragorn

Pretty mentally stable, at least considering everyone else around him

Brown

Is bisexual with a preference for women

Does not care about his pronouns, but is cis in some weird way?

Legolas

Was born in an era with very few elflings, and as an only child hasn't had the opportunity to socialize at all

Rich whiteboy (gender neutral) privilege that they don't entirely recognize

Probably not neurotipical

Fluid sexuality, doesn't really like labels, but if asked persistantly will say he has a preference for men

He/she sometimes they

Bilbo

Has ADHD and anxiety

Struggles with ring addiction

Is acespec and gay

They/he

Sam

AuDHD

Has low self-esteem, imposter syndrome, and anxiety from his childhood with the Gaffer

Is brown

Pansexual

Officially he/they but prefers they/them

Frodo

Is autistic

Has chronic pain post quest

Has chronic fatigue post quest

Possibly transmasc, he/they or he/him

Gay

If you would like to see other characters, or more on some characters, my ask box is always open

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solo6677 · 29 days

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My First Time Trying Elixir

It's about my first time taking elixir and three different experiences that I had.

The weekend had finally arrived. With my wife and daughter away, I found myself alone in the house, surrounded by a strange mix of anticipation and nervousness. I had been a long-time consumer of corruption captions, losing myself in the salacious tales of Evie, Erica, Shadow, Mara, and many others. Their vivid descriptions of illicit encounters and tantalizing trysts had ignited my imagination, expanding my mind to new realms of pleasure and desire.

Among all the creators I had encountered, Evie held a special place in my heart. Her ingenious creation of the elixir, a potent concoction that could transform a man into a woman, had always fascinated me. The idea of experiencing life from a different perspective, of feeling the world through the softness of feminine curves and the delicate touch of womanhood, had left me intrigued and captivated.

As the sun began to set, casting warm hues across the room, I reached for the small vial that contained the elixir. My heart raced with excitement as I uncorked the bottle, the potent aroma filling the air around me. I hesitated for a moment, savoring the thrill of the unknown, before taking a deep breath and swallowing the liquid in one swift motion.

The taste was bitter, yet oddly satisfying, as if I were consuming a forbidden fruit that held the key to a world I had only dared to dream of. As the elixir worked its magic, I could feel my body beginning to change, the transformation both exhilarating and terrifying. I closed my eyes, embracing the unknown, and allowed the elixir to take control.

The transformation was more subtle than I had anticipated. My once short, brown hair lengthened and lightened, cascading down my back in golden waves. My Adam's apple vanished, replaced by a smooth, petite throat. My chest swelled, developing into two full, round breasts. My stomach firmed and toned, becoming sleek and feminine. I felt myself shrink in height from my previous 5'10 frame to a more petite 5'5

As I examined my reflection, I noticed that while my cock remained, it began to shrink under my touch. I climaxed, my release spreading across my bed before my cock finally vanished, replaced by a glistening pussy. I stood before the mirror, taking in the sight of my new body. The transformation was complete, and I was now a stunning blonde female.

Post-transformation, I slipped into my newly purchased yoga pants and t-shirt from a Goodwill trip, not bothering with undergarments. The mall was my next destination, where I added a club-worthy dress, high heeled stilettos shoes, thong panties, and an alluring bra to my wardrobe.

Arriving home, I meticulously dressed in my new attire, appreciating my reflection in the mirror. A daring experiment with my wife's makeup ensued, and upon gazing at the transformed individual before me, I was awestruck. Unrecognizable, I beheld a stunning figure. It was time to test drive this new body.

Upon arriving at the bustling local dance club, I was immediately struck by the energy of the crowd. The flashing lights, the pounding music, and the sea of bodies moving in time with the beat was absolutely intoxicating. I couldn't help but feel a thrill run through me as I made my way to the center of the dance floor.

I began to move, my body swaying and gyrating to the rhythm of the music. I felt alive, powerful, and incredibly sexy as I caught the eye of every person in the room. Men and women alike watched me, transfixed, as I danced with an abandon that was both intoxicating and irresistible.

My body felt hot and flushed, my skin tingling with excitement as I danced. I could feel the heat building between my legs, the ache of desire growing stronger with every passing moment. I felt alive, electric, and incredibly horny.

As I danced, I noticed a handsome blonde man watching me from across the room. His eyes were fixed on me, his gaze intense and unwavering. I felt a thrill run through me as I made my way over to him, my hips swaying suggestively as I moved through the crowd.

Samantha: (in a low sultry voice) “Hi there,I'm Samantha. What's your name?”

Tom: “I'm Tom, I couldn't help but notice you out there on the dance floor. You're incredible.”

Samantha: (full of confidence and desire) “Thank you, would you like to dance with me?”

Tom nodded, his eyes shining with excitement. We moved together, our bodies pressed close as we swayed and moved to the music. The heat between us was intense, the chemistry undeniable.

As we danced, I felt my desire growing stronger, my body aching for more. I leaned in close to Tom, my lips brushing against his ear.

Samantha:(whispering)“Do you want to go somewhere more private?”

Tom: (his eyes dark with desire.) “Yes, he said. Let's go.”

We slipped out of the club, our bodies moving together as we made our way to a nearby hotel. The chemistry between us was electric, the desire overwhelming. I couldn't wait to see what the night had in store for us.

Entering the hotel room, the excitement between Tom and I was palpable. I couldn't resist the urge to kiss him, savoring the taste of his lips as our bodies pressed together.

With a mischievous grin, I began to undress, revealing my naked body to him for the first time. Tom's eyes widened in appreciation, and he wasted no time in joining me.

He approached me with a passion that was undeniable, his lips finding mine once again before moving down to my neck. I shivered with anticipation as his kisses trailed down to my breasts, his tongue teasing my nipples and driving me wild with desire.

It was clear that Tom was an experienced lover, and I found myself wanting him more and more with each passing moment. Eager to feel his skin against mine, I helped him remove his clothes until he was just as naked as I was.

Taking his hand, I led him over to the bed, ready to explore the passion that had been building between us all night.

Lying on the bed, my legs splayed, I felt pure ecstasy as he crawled between them, his tongue exploring the folds of my wetness. His thumb gently stroked my clit in rhythm with his licks, bringing me to the brink of orgasm. I came hard, my first as a woman, leaving my juices glistening on his face.

He then kissed me, allowing me to taste my own sweetness on his lips. But before I could return the favor and take him in my mouth, he entered me, filling me with his hardness. With every thrust, he drove me closer to the edge and closer to losing my virginity. Even though at first it was painful I begged him to go harder. He obliged, pounding into me with a fierce intensity that sent me over the edge again.

I felt his warmth spill into me as he came, coating my insides with his release. We lay together for a moment, basking in the afterglow of our passion. But I had other obligations, and with a kiss and a thank you, I gathered my things and left, his pleas for me to stay echoing in my ears.

With a determined stride, I left the hotel, my mind set on my next conquest. The elixir's effects would only last for 4 more hours, and I knew that I had to act fast to fulfill my elixir fantasies.

A long-held curiosity about female same-sex relationships had always intrigued me. I always wondered what it would be like to be a woman experiencing intimacy with another woman. I had often imagined that, if I became a woman, I would want to be a lesbian.

Sitting on the hotel steps, I took a moment to gather my thoughts and summon the courage to make the call. Sarah, my closest friend and a lesbian, was the first person who came to mind. I knew she would be open to my proposition, as she had always been supportive and non-judgmental.

I dialed Sarah's number, and she answered on the first ring. With a quiver in my voice, I asked her if she would be open to a lesbian experience with me.

Samantha: (giggling) “Hey Sarah, it's me, Sam. I know it's a surprise, but I've got a proposition for you.”

Sarah: (skeptical) “Sam? Really? The only Sam I know is a man. I find that hard to believe.”

Samantha: (persistent) “Yes, really it is me Sarah! I drank an elixir like the one in Evie's captions that I send you. It actually works. Sarah I turned into a beautiful woman. Think about it, Sarah. Who else would know that your favorite ice cream is salted caramel? Or that you still have a stuffed animal named Mr. Snuggles hidden in your closet?”

Sarah: (curious) “Okay, okay, I believe you. What's this proposition you have for me?”

Samantha: (excited) “Well, I was wondering if you'd be open to exploring a new side of yourself with me. I want to have a lesbian experience with you, Sarah. I think it could be amazing between us.”

Sarah: (enthusiastic) “Come over, Sam. Let's see where this takes us.”

Samantha: (nervous) “Thank you, Sarah. I'm on my way now. I can't wait to see you.”

The anticipation built as I made my way to Sarah's apartment, wondering what the night would hold. My heart was pounding in my chest, fueled by the elixir and the excitement of exploring a new side of myself. As I knocked on Sarah's door she answered.

Sarah: (surprised) “Sam? Is that you? You look... incredible.”

Samantha: (blushing) “You think so? I was hoping you'd like it. Please for tonight call me Samantha.”

Sarah: (smiling)” Like it? I more than like it. Come here, Samantha.”

Sarah then pulled me in for a passionate kiss. After we broke the kiss I looked at her.

Samantha: (surprised but pleased) “Sarah, do you really like me this way?”

Sarah: “You look absolutely beautiful. I'm also very pleased that you want to be with me for your first lesbian experience!”

I was met again with another passionate kiss from her. The sensation of her tongue in my mouth was intoxicating, a new and exciting experience. We moved closer to her bedroom, both of us shedding our clothes as we went.

Laying me down on the bed, Sarah then proceeded to pleasure me with her mouth. The feeling of her tongue on my most sensitive spots was overwhelming, an experience completely different from what I had known with Tom. She seemed to know exactly where to touch me, bringing me to orgasm multiple times.

After we had both caught our breath, I returned the favor, going down on her. The experience of receiving oral sex from another woman was a revelation, a new and exciting sensation that I couldn't get enough of. After making her orgasm numerous times we both laid on the bed.

Samantha: (panting) “Oh Sarah, that felt amazing. I never imagined it could feel like that.”

Sarah: (smiling) “I'm glad you liked it, Samantha. I've been waiting for this moment for a long time.”

Samantha: (curious) “Really? Have you thought about this before?”

Sarah: (nodding and blushing) “Yes, I have. I've always fantasized about you becoming a woman. Especially after reading all those captions you sent me. And now that you're Samantha, I can't help but feel even more drawn to you.”

Samantha: (happy) “I'm glad we can explore this together. It feels right, you know?”

Sarah: (nodding) “I know. And there's still so much more for us to discover.”

Samantha: (sighing) “I wish I could stay like this with you forever. But I can't. I just want to make the most of the time I have left.”

Sarah: (understanding) “I understand, Samantha. But you make an amazing woman absolutely gorgeous. And I'm honored that you thought of me for your first lesbian experience.”

Samantha: (smiling) “Thank you, Sarah. You're amazing.”

Sarah: (smiling back) “No, Sam. You're the amazing one.”

As we lay there, spent and satisfied, I knew I had to experience one more thing before my time was up. I said my goodbyes to Sarah, eager to explore even more of the pleasures that awaited me. As I left though I somehow had a feeling that this wouldn't be the last time that I would spend the night like this with Sarah.

In the vast digital landscape of the internet, I found myself captivated by Erica's vivid and explicit caps. Her unabashed desire for the forbidden fruit, the black male anatomy, sparked my curiosity. I am a woman for a little while longer, after all, and I wanted to experience what she so passionately described.

I ventured to the downtown area, where I met Marcus, a man who exuded confidence and a clear appreciation for the female form.

Samantha: “Excuse me stud, how would you like to have a good time tonight?”

Marcus: “Hello beautiful, I would love to show you a good time tonight. My name is Marcus. What is yours?”

Samantha: “My name is Samantha. Marcus, I couldn't help but notice the way you carry yourself with such confidence and grace. It's incredibly attractive.”

Marcus: “Well, thank you. You're quite the sight yourself.”

Samantha: “Thank you . I've been looking for someone like you all night. Someone who knows how to treat a woman right.”

Marcus: “Is that so? Well, I'd be happy to show you a good time.”

Samantha: “I bet you would. I have to admit, I'm quite taken by your...impressive physique. And I couldn't help but notice something else that's quite large.”

Marcus: *laughs* “Oh, you mean this?” pointing his hand down to his crotch area.

Samantha: *smirks* “Mhm. I can't wait to get my hands and mouth on it.”

Marcus: “Well, who am I to deny a woman what she wants?”

Samantha: “Take me to your place and I will give you what you want.” I smiled pointing to my body.

Without hesitation, he led me to his nearby residence. Upon entering, I was greeted by the sight of his impressive physique and the largest cock I had ever seen. I eagerly dropped to my knees and took him into my mouth, giving him my all. The taste of him was intoxicating, and I reveled in the pleasure I gave him from my first blow job. He came in what seemed like buckets in my mouth and I swallowed it all.

Marcus then positioned me on all fours, my knees and ass raised high in the air. He entered me with a force that stole my breath away. The sensation of being filled up by his huge black cock was beyond anything I had ever experienced. I climaxed three times, while he thrust into me relentlessly. When he finally reached his peak, I felt him release inside of me, and I was consumed by a wave of ecstasy.

I left Marcus's home with a newfound appreciation for the power of physical connection and the allure of the unknown. I understood now why Erica so passionately craved these experiences. The thrill of the forbidden had opened my eyes to a world of pleasure, and I could never go back.

Upon returning home, I cherished my final half hour of femininity. I sauntered towards the bed, shedding my clothes as I went. My fingers found their way to my awaiting pussy, and I reveled in the sensation of my own touch. I focused on the memories of the night and orgasmed three more times . This night was unforgettable, a precious moment in time I would never forsake. My rendezvous with Marcus proved to be nothing short of extraordinary, and I eagerly anticipated our next encounter. My experience with Elixir was a revelation, and I look forward to repeating again another time.

Thank you, dear corruption writers, for introducing me to this enchanting experience. Until next time, I will savor the memories of my elixir night.

#m2f transformation #transformation story #elixir #lesbianism

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oyesmendes · 1 year

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what's happening in mexico?

a/n: this has been a work in progress for SO LONG and i'm so glad i finally got to finish it off; not my best work but i hope you enjoy some daniel content!!

masterlist

bodies pressed up against each other. loud music. copious amounts of alcohol. this was exactly how daniel expected his night to go. after double points in mexico, he was standing at the DJ booth with lando and martin, the pair mixing some track that was riling the crowd up. they were dancing and laughing, brushing arms with beautiful blondes and brunettes, taking shot after shot. this was the life of formula one drivers outside the track.

wasting off the adrenaline left after the race, the night was going exceptionally well for daniel. he had that signature smile that could light up an entire universe, women clinging on to his sides the entire night. the sense of accomplishment after a largely failed season - he doesn't remember the last time he's felt this free.

that was, until he heard you.

the sound of your laughter he could recognise anywhere. it was like music to his ears. and as if on cue, the rest of the drivers at the club made a beeline towards the magical sound. he spots you first, dressed in that little black dress. you were here.

"Y/N!" pierre shouted, grabbing your attention away from a conversation you were having with a stranger you just met. you grinned at him, enveloping him in a long hug, the stranger long forgotten. yuki and charles had also made their way over, engulfing you in hugs you missed terribly.

it was like instant attraction - a strong magnet luring everything made of metal towards it. charles gave you a side hug, leaning towards you, his lips right by your ear.

"how have you been?" he asked, voice barely being heard over the loud music

"i'm good!" you yelled, moving to the beats blaring through the speaker.

daniel watched the interaction between you and the other drivers from the DJ booth, knowing nothing's changed - you were still surrounded by people who absolutely adored you, who wanted a piece of you all the time.

suddenly, lando's voice boomed in daniel's ear,

"i didn't know she'd be here!"

the brit gave him a sympathetic look. but daniel forced a smile at him, mouthing 'it's okay' before disappearing into the crowd. lando shakes his head at martin, who had briefly turned his attention to them while hyping the crowd up. he looks to see where daniel had gone, but the aussie very much disappeared into the sea of people.

you continued to dance the night away, now surrounded by the drivers. pierre and yuki were close by, until a very drunk stranger waddled his way towards you; and you swore you watched everything happen in slow motion - the stranger tripping on his own two feet, then a lukewarm glass of long island splashed all over your dress.

pierre's reflexes unfortunately failed him in this instance, only pulling you away after your dress was entirely soaked with alcohol. the said stranger had also suddenly sobered up, apologies pouring out from his mouth when he saw that you were surrounded by a group of mildly intimidating men.

daniel watched the entire situation unfold, his grip of the glass tightening unknowingly when he saw pierre's arm wrapped around your waist. you excused yourself from the group momentarily, making your way to the bathroom. he quickly stands, brushing off the girl that was desperately trying to get his attention and followed you through the crowds.

you washed the stubborn stain out after a couple of tries, the front of your dressed practically soaked. but you were too buzzed to even care, swinging the toilet door open to get back to your friends. the muted sounds was suddenly blasting in your ears, and it took you awhile before realising daniel was right in front of you. your eyes scanned the tanned man, focusing on his black vans and ripped jeans.

"danny." you whispered. he steadies you with his arm, pulling you towards him as a bunch of girls squished their way through into the washroom. his eyes meet yours for the first time, and all the anguish he felt over the last couple of months melted away.

"sweet pea." he breathed out. you smiled at the nickname he had given you years ago when you first met. you pulled away from him, wiping off the rest of the liquids on your dress with a piece of tissue.

you leaned towards him, your lips brushing his ear.

"congrats on P7!"

he raised his brows, "you watched?"

"i always watch, danny."

he nods. you never missed a race, not since the both of you started dating during the early years of his career. but he never expected you to continue, especially after how both of you left things.

"you look good in this dress." he complimented. you smile at him, an awkward tension in the air. but it was quickly interrupted by a very drunk pierre.

"Y/N!" he slurred, tumbling towards you, and you caught his arm with ease before he face planted to the floor.

"where have you been?" he whined. you laughed at the french man, "washing this off, remember?" you pointed to the wet stain on your dress that was fading as time passed.

pierre straightened himself, his glassy eyes meeting yours, "did i tell you..." he pushes your hair behind your ear, "that you look absolutely beautiful tonight?"

you chuckle, "first time i'm hearing it from you, actually."

"well," pierre leans forward, his lips brushing your ear, "why don't you let me tell you more?"

your eyes dart to daniel, who's jaw seemed to tighten, watching the both of you interact. you steady the frenchman away from you, smiling politely at him.

"you're drunk, pedro."

"not drunk enough!" he shouts, a childlike pout on his face. you could see daniel turning away, disappointed and tired. it felt like history was repeating itself all over again, in front of his own very eyes. you pushed pierre off you, letting the boy lean against the wall while you grabbed daniel's arm.

"danny," he stops in his tracks, turning towards you.

"can we talk?" you ask him, but daniel walks off towards the exit. you sigh, holding on to pierre and guiding him back to the group of drivers. once he's in the safe hands of yuki, you made your way out, where daniel was standing by a curb on his own.

"don't go again, danny."

he turns as you approached him and he takes a step back, "what are you doing, pea?"

"i'm trying." you state.

"why didn't you try earlier?" you could sense the hurt in his voice, and you sigh, folding your arms in front of you.

you look up at him, both of your eyes still glassy due to the alcohol, "i did, you just couldn't see it."

"don't put this on me, Y/N."

"there's only two of us here."

daniel rolls his eyes, "it didn't seem like it then, and neither does it seem like it now."

he gestures to the group of drivers - waiting for you by a lamppost.

he sighs, "it was never us two, pea. you always had someone else's eyes on you, you always had the attention of another man."

"can you blame me?"

"can i blame you?" he scoffs.

"yeah, can you blame me? name a time you introduced me as your girlfriend. name a race you walked through the paddock gates with me. name an event you brought me without introducing me as your 'longtime friend'."

you watch as his brows furrowed together, "you never committed to me, daniel, and yet i was still unconditionally yours. i still showed up at every race, every event you begged me to go with you."

"but then you left." he counters.

you laughed humourlessly, "oh if you could only see the positives."

"should we go over there?" lando asked charles, who had pierre clambered all up on his arm. they could hear bits and pieces of the conversation as the pair started to get heated.

"i think we should let them hash it out." charles said while pushing pierre so he could stand up straight. the frenchman stood up momentarily, looking around him,

"where's Y/N?" he mumbled, stumbling forward. charles grabbed his arm tightly, holding on so the frenchman could not wander far.

"i left because i wasn't feeling appreciated, danny. i left because just like any other girl, i wanted commitment. i wanted you to look at me and say 'would you like to be my girlfriend?'. i wanted us, daniel. and hell, i still want us" you knew you were taking a risk in admitting your feelings right here, but you knew it was tonight or forever hold your peace.

daniel went silent for a moment, ruminating in the words you just spoke. then he grabs your hand and flags down the next taxi to pass the both of you. you don't question him, following along as he tugs you into the vehicle.

"the Hilton hotel please." he tells the driver.

"uhm, where are they going?!" lando shouted, watching as the taxi drove past the group.

"well, knowing us, either they're going to have hot sex and make up; or they're just going to have hot sex."

"i was an idiot." he says after moments passed. you turn to him, and there's an expression on his face you couldn't read.

"i was an idiot. i wanted to focus on racing, i wanted to excel in my career- and you were always there so i- i got comfortable and i took you for granted."

you nod, but the car come to a slow halt, and you both realise that the ride back to his hotel was equivalent to a ten minute walk.

the driver clears his throat to get their attention, "señor - this is the hilton hotel."

daniel pays him, and the both of you climb out of the car. he takes your hand, guiding you through the empty lobby as the conversation still hangs in the air. he leads you to the bar, and you order two glasses of iced water. because you knew if you were going to do this, you were going to do this sober.

the bartender slides the glasses to the both of you, and you inhale at least half the glass. daniel does the same, and as you put down your glass, he grabs your hand.

"i'm sorry, sweet pea. for everything." his chocolate brown eyes meet yours, and your heart softens at the sight.

"i'm sorry i left too. i'm sorry i haven't been there."

daniel kisses the top of your hand, a soft smile gracing his face.

"it would be an honour, if i could- if you would like to have me as your boyfriend." he asks; and you couldn't hide the smile on your face as much as you tried. so you leaned forward, kissing him softly on the lips,

"i would love to."

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