#nikolai fanfiction

[bakerstreethound]

Golden Mornings

Relationship: Nikolai Lantsov x gender neutral reader

Warnings: lots of fluff, heated kisses, and happy Nikolai

Summary: Waking up in the arms of the King of Ravka is always special to you and you want to show him how much you adore him while he returns the sentiments in kind.

All writings belong to me @bakerstreethound​ (Do NOT claim, copy, repost, or translate my works to other sites. I only publish here and on A03 under the same username) 

Word Count: 828

A/N: Hello my lovelies. This is my first time writing & posting for the wonderful Nikolai Lantsov. I hope you enjoy it! It's been in my drafts a bit as I've been meaning to post but life got in the way. Regardless, comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated! Graphic by @firefly-graphics

Nikolai nuzzles closer to you, burying his face in your neck, inhaling your scent. You chuckle to yourself, eyes half drooped, resisting your brain’s internal alarm clock to get up and start the day. You continue to stroke his back, rubbing patterns trying to prolong the time you have before your duties demand the trajectory of the day. 

“Morning, love,” he murmurs. You tap his nose gently in response as he scrunches it, painting his face in childlike happiness. 

“Good morning moi tsar,” you grin in response, his eyes scrunched at the title you called him.

“It’s too early for this. What have I done to incur your wrath?” 

“Nothing at all my dear Sobachka.” You smile, pressing a kiss to his forehead and he smiles back softly, eyes glimmering in adoration.

Despite it all, despite the demon, you have accepted him for who he was and is, and on mornings like this, he has come to cherish being in the warmth and strength of your arms. It is where he belongs, and he wishes he found you, his true home sooner. 

Ravka may be his kingdom, but you are his alone - his to cherish and adore. 

You cup his face in your hand, thumb brushing along his lower lip, his gaze unwavering as his eyes take in the sight of you once more. It’s all he ever wants, the simplicity of waking up in your embrace, the golden sun illuminating your shared chambers with the promise of a new life, a new kingdom, and a thousand tomorrows on the horizon. 

“Did you find a blemish there, my love?” Nikolai’s cheeky trademark smirk flourishes along his face, a reminder of the boy he was, hidden under the man he’d become.

Your hands trace his lip with ease, the smile lingering on your lips blooming. “Even if there is a blemish, I’d adore you all the same, dear Nik.” 

His smile deepens, “Well, then,” he leans over you, pressing another gentle kiss to your lips while pulling you under him, his gaze transfixed, admiring your form. 

You squirm against him to no avail, his gaze not lingering from your lips, hands gripping you firmly, the sheet falling further down his torso. You whisper to yourself, an odd assortment of words you can’t recall, too enraptured by the sight before you. Your hands trace the outline of his chest, and you wrap your arms around him bringing him closer before peppering him with kisses, dragging your tongue over them. 

He groans in kind, determined not to fall, but he does. How can he not? He’s utterly yours. When your lips are determined to consume him whole, alternating between marking and kissing him, you smile, leaving a few marks over the faint trace of the bite marks you’d left the prior night. 

“See something you like, love?” Nikolai smirks, boyish glee lighting his eyes.

“Yes, in fact, I do. You’re absolutely wonderful and I cannot get enough of you.” You nuzzle his neck as one of his hands cups the nape of your neck, pulling you close as he adjusts himself on top of you after pulling you in for a proper kiss.

A kiss that melts your soul, warm like sunlight and honey, of the many days you wish to wake up to until your dying day. It pulls you in and you press yourself against him more, the feeling of his skin against yours the perfect sort of heat and warmth. 

You gently tug his hair, a soft gasp leaving his parted lips while he strokes your hair, leaning down to kiss you once more. Your hands reach around his neck while he pulls you close, his lips brushing your neck, pulling you on top of him, your laugh filling the empty space, music to his ears, the warm Ravkan sun shining further in through the windows, perfectly highlighting your features and your eyes. 

You squeeze your legs as you straddle him, steadying yourself before you gently tug his hair, a gasp parting from his lips, his blonde curls shimmering. You take a moment to enjoy the sight while you pepper kisses along his neck, biting and sucking in kind, his hands falling to your waist, squeezing tighter in response. 

He huffs in amusement, his hands squeezing your waist tighter before rolling himself on top of you once more littering your face and neck with kisses. 

“Nik!” You squealing, helplessly flailing beneath him. “That wasn’t fair!”

“I don’t recall us playing fair this lovely morning,” he quirks a brow, giving back to kiss your lips, capturing you in his warmth and light. It brings thoughts of waking up like this in the future when Ravka is finally safe, the scent of waffles wafting through the walls, followed by the sweet smell of syrup that Nina adores.

Moments like this you cherish for eternity and a lifetime, despite the war-torn nation bequeathed to a young king. You would rebuild. Together. 

******

#nikolai lanstov x reader #nikolai lantsov #shadow and bone #the grishaverse #the grisha trilogy #nikolai x reader #nikolai fanfiction #paddy gibson #my writing #my alleyway

[exyzedd]

cannot stop making textposts😔👍🏼

(pics used aren't mine)

#3am things #books #kaz x inej #kaz brekker #kanej fic #kanej fanfiction #kanej #soc inej #inej ghafa #zoya nazyanelsky #zoyalai #nikolai x zoya #zoya nazyalensky #nikolai lantsov #no mourners no funerals #crooked kingdom #six of crows jesper #six of crows #leigh bardugo #shadow and bone #s&b show #s&b netflix #alina x darkling #alina starkov #the darkling #wylan van sunshine #wesper #jesper fahey #wylan x jesper #nina zenik

[luvfy0dor]

“You Know That I'm Obsessed With Your Body ♡⁠˖” BSD Men x GN!Reader ੈ✩‧₊˚

╰┈➤ Chuuya Nakahara, Osamu Dazai, Fyodor Dostoevsky, Nikolai Gogol, Sigma, H.P. Lovecraft

Warnings; Suggestive, kisses, hickeys, bite marks, allusions to self harm (Dazai), sh scars (Dazai), prolly a little ooc

Description; BSD men and their physical attributes

A/n; CAS lyric title!!! But I cannot bring myself to write reqs RN so............but guys i actually talked to a guy OMG never thought I'd have big enough balls but I got his ig ^w^

⑅Chuuya Nakahara⑅

Chuuyas arms are beautiful to you, they're not insanely buff and they're not thin, but at a perfect equilibrium. They're decorated with intricate tattoos and beautiful colors, and sometimes small dotted lines left by your teeth or maroon spots formed by your love and passion for each other. You loved feeling them wrap around your torso or waist with him leaning his head against your back, letting all the thoughts in his mind flow from his mouth like a waterfall. Other times, he'd hang his arms over your shoulders, letting you feel his biceps against the nape of your neck, ghosting over the baby hairs on your skin. His arms can carry you too, no matter your weight. If it'd make you feel better, he'd use his ability to help and reassure you that he won't drop you or let you get hurt.

“There we go, darlin', see, I told you I wouldn't let you get hurt. Literally not even the strongest gust of wind could knock me over with you right now, so quit worrying.”

⑅Osamu Dazai⑅

Dazai has such a gorgeous torso, bandaged or not. His skin is soft on contrast to the rough and volatile life he's always lead. The only patches of skin that aren't smooth are the ones that are littered with past scars, whether self inflicted or from other people. When Dazai trusts you enough, he'll ask you to help him take off his bandages before bed, letting your fingers brush over the rigid bumps and sharply inhaling while adjusting to your sweet touch in a new, naked place. He lets you kiss the scars and it helps him feel a little relaxed receiving your acceptance through soft kisses and affection instead of being pitied or shamed for his past. It's not like you encourage it, but you don't waste your breath on lecturing him on why he shouldn't have. It's in the past, so instead you'll offer your support for him now rather than dwelling on what you can't change.

“Mmnn...your lips are so soft on my back, baby...keep going, sweetheart, you know how much I love feeling your kisses on my skin...”

⑅Nikolai Gogol⑅

Nikolais thighs could resurrect a dead man, and you couldn't help but feel the same way every time you had your head between or against them. Occasionally your hands would hold them apart and squeeze or grope at them, feeling the firmness beneath the palm of your hand. The pressure from your fingertips leaves temporary pale spots with every pinch and your teeth and tongue leave red ones in your wake as you kiss, suck, and bite all over his thigh, and he loves it. Nikolai loves the harsh feeling of your teeth clamping around his skin, making him gasp and giggle in excitement with a hand on your neck encouraging you to continue. He's got a higher pain tolerance, so if you like to give lovebites, especially on thighs, he's your guy.

“Ah-! Oh, don't worry dove, it doesn't hurt. You know I have a good pain tolerance! You can keep going, hehe, I don't mind it.”

⑅Fyodor Dostoevsky⑅

Fyodors hands are thin and pale aside from some select spots with higher blood concentration. His nails are bitten down to the quick almost always and his fingers are bony and thin. They rest gently on your hips when you sit on his lap while he types or just relaxes with you, his thumbs rubbing circles into the fabric of either your top or bottoms. Sometimes they'll travel upwards, resting against your midsection and making you shiver from their low temperature. He'd laugh under his breath at your reaction and slide them further up, loving the idea that he has you squirming in his grasp. Otherwise, he'd keep a hand on your thigh, rubbing it out of habit modestly. In public he keeps his hands to himself, but in private his hands have a mind of their own.

“Are they that cold, Moya Lyubov? You'll get used to it eventually, unless you'd like to find your own way to warm my hands up?”

⑅Sigma⑅

Sigmas jawline is so defined and Everytime you look at it, an overwhelming urge to kiss along it bubbles up inside of you. Sigma doesn't dislike it, but he'll act like he does, always squirming and playfully grimacing. Eventually he'll give in though, holding your hand while you pepper soft pecks along his skin. He'll return them all over your cheeks and nose, tickling your skin and making you giggle. You can't help but watch Sigmas fingers trace over his jawline while he's deep in thought about this that and the other, admiring how perfect it looks on him.

“H-hey, knock it off, I'm in the middle of fillin' out papers! I said quit it- huff...fine, just a few though! You're really distracting, you know that?”

Bonus; ⑅ H.P. Lovecraft⑅

His hair is so long and luscious- how could you not want to run your fingers through it while your sleepy boyfriend lays his head in your lap? The upper half is smooth and straight while it changes into silky curls towards the bottom, though they're not the tightest and allow for your fingers to brush through them with minimal effort. He loves the feeling of your hands against his scalp, giving soft hums and groans of a relaxed pleasure. His face has his usual neutrality regardless of how nice it feels to get his head massaged by his lover. He frequently lets you pull it into a ponytail or put it into braids or whatever style you please. He lets you brush it, too, as long as you start at the bottom instead of ripping the brush through his hair.

“Mnn...that feels nice, dear...don't mind if I fall asleep on top of you, I can't help it.”

A/n; I feel so bad for not getting to requests, something like this was the easiest thing to do this week though because I had mock trial comp right after school so i couldn't write anything from 8am-7;30 pm some nights and it was the end of the quarter so i had to focus more on school work.

#bungo stray dogs #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd x reader #bsd headcanons #bsd fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #bungo stray dogs fyodor #fyodor bsd #fyodor x reader #fyodor dostoevsky x reader #bsd dazai osamu #dazai bungou stray dogs #dazai x reader #dazai osamu x reader #bungo stray dogs chuuya #bsd chuuya #chuuya x reader #chuuya nakahara x reader #nikolai bsd #bungou stray dogs nikolai #nikolai x reader #nikolai gogol x reader #bungo stray dogs sigma #sigma #sigma x reader #sigma x you #lovecraft #lovecraft x reader

[snoopys-tea]

there’s just something so thrilling abt reading fanfiction at night instead of the day, ykwim?

#harry potter #percy jackson #shatter me #aaron warner #leo valdez #six of crows #kaz brekker #nikolai lantsov #stranger things #steve harrington #booktok #book lover #fanfiction #fandoms #wattpad #ao3 #ao3 tags

[undiscovered-horizon]

In Emerald Hearts, Emerald Minds - Nikolai Lantsov x Reader

[mentions of unwanted advances + suggested groping + suggestive/sexual (consensual) themes]

☽ REQUESTS ARE OPEN ☾

SUMMARY: When Vasily asks you to forget his half-brother and marry him instead, you escape the Little Palace along Alina. Nikolai realizes something strange is going on when Kaz mentions seeing a similar emerald ring on the woman that came with the Sun Summoner. With how much you and Nikolai have been running in circles to find each other, the reunion aboard Volkvolny feels almost fated.

WORDCOUNT: ~ 4.6k

>>Grishaverse-inspired playlist&lt;<

It feels like the Winter Fete has been going on forever. The champagne keeps on being poured, the guests keep on dancing and the circus acts just keep on performing as though tomorrow is a mere mirage, a concept of a certain time period that never actually comes. Inside those walls of gold and marble, the misery devouring all of Ravka seems like nothing beyond a mad nightmare - something so removed from reality, it’s hilarious in its ridiculousness. Everyone is so carefree and happy you almost take their joy as your own.

Almost.

The orchestra begins playing Waltz of the Flowers and you feel your throat tighten. Despite doing your best not to, your mind relives that fateful night when everything changed. For the longest time, you’d been claiming that the change was for the better but now, standing alone for another year in a row and watching the dashing aristocrats spin to the music, you’re not so sure anymore.

“You really need to stop doing this,” Nikolai says firmly. Although his tone is decisive and clearly unwilling to accept defiance, a pronounced hint of amusement lives between his words - a thread of light-heartedness, one might say.

Your eyebrows gently furrow. “Doing what?”

“Smiling at me like that. Any longer and I might ask you to marry me.”

It feels like you’re about to burst at the seams. Trying to contain your emotions, and failing at it quite horribly, you bite your lower lip. “I might say yes.”

“Where have you gone, Kolya?” you whisper under your breath. The gloss of vacancy covering your eyes blurs the dancing bodies into one mass of faceless strangers. But it also makes you not notice someone approaching you.

“I find it quite admirable.”

Vasily’s voice startles you. To your now-gone relief, you didn’t have the displeasure of running into him all evening - until now. If you were to list all of the things about the older Lantsov son that makes your skin crawl, you’d be done by the time another Winter Fete is organized. The top of the list, however, deserves to be mentioned as it’s an inseparable part of your every interaction with the prince: he’s quite adamant and crude in his desire to be more than just a future brother-in-law to you.

“Excuse me?” you stutter out.

That patronizing look on his face is now accompanied by a cocky half-grin as he realizes he caught you off-guard. “Your devotion to my brother. For all we know, he might be already dead, Saints’ protect him.”

“Don’t even say that!” you hiss at him. Right after, you look around to check whether one of the guests has noticed your unpleasant exchange.

Despite what you’ve just said, you know he’s right. There’s no way you can be sure that your Kolya is either dead or alive. Perhaps this is the detail further ripping your heart apart - you don’t know anything about his fate; you’re mourning, although you’re yet to see the coffin. You haven’t for a few years now and each passing month of silence only made court gossip more cruel and bold.

“All I’m saying, dearest,” Vasily begins quietly as his hand drags along your arm, “is that the moment the news of Nikolai’s death reaches the Grand Palace, you’ll be thrown out. On the other hand, I can make you the Queen of Ravka. And unlike my brother, I won’t disappear off the face of the Earth and forget about his beloved lady.”

The word of endearment is dripping with sarcasm as it leaves his chapped lips. His breath reeks of alcohol and you unknowingly turn your head away. Vasily seems to think you’re about to leave his side, so his hand tightly grips your arm. The hold is almost bruising. He yanks you even closer towards himself.

“Kolya hasn’t forgotten about me,” you say in a shaky voice. Maybe he’s not as foolish as he appears and Vasily is genuinely trying to break you down.

The prince studies your face for a moment, definitely noticing how shaken you are. His eyes have the strangest glint to them - something between desire and contempt. “Is that so?” he barely stifles a grim laugh. “He would have written you a letter if that were true, no?”

Tears sting your eyes. Vasily is certainly smarter, or at least more cruel, than he lets on. He knows exactly what to say to get into your head. It’s a startling difference between him and Nikolai - only one of them does what he can to keep a smile on your face. Well, did.

His dirty, rough hand grabs your chin. Vasily forces you to look at him, his smile wavers upon noticing your desperation. “Consider your options, зайка,” he purrs out. The prince’s other hand trails your face. “The choice is yours.”

A tear falls down your cheek. You feel it rolling across your skin and you silently hope the guests surrounding you are watching this scene. Then, you lean in even closer to Vasily’s face. The whisper leaves your lips like a viper’s venomous hiss: "I will marry you the day you lay his dead body at my feet."

To your surprise, Vasily drops his hands and takes a step back. Despite the self-assured smile on his face, you can see the fury inside his eyes. “As you wish.” He bows curtly, turns on his heel and marches away, undoubtedly looking for another glass of alcohol and a lady naive enough to warm his bed.

The palace suddenly feels stuffy and overcrowded; the music is too loud, the plethora of smells make your head spin.

Outside. You need to get outside.

Bumping into several guests and mumbling half-coherent apologies, you run through the halls of the Little Palace. When the cold, night air hits your flushed cheeks, only then do you stop. Taking in a deep breath, you can actually feel your thoughts becoming clearer. 

With each gust of freezing wind, all the anger and sadness is leaving your shaking body. Vasily just wanted to get a rise out of you and, as much as you don’t want to admit it, he succeeded. Unlike he claims, Nikolai surely is alive. Maybe bruised or sick or not sleeping well but as long as there’s no news about him being dead, he is as alive as one can be. The same starry sky hangs above your and his heads. Perhaps, in this small moment of longing, he’s thinking about you too. Wherever he is.

A tired sigh leaves your lips. You’re about to turn around and go back inside when a silhouette moving in the night catches your attention. The shape is swift although careful like a lizard approaching a fly. You see them looking around before running for another few meters only to hide behind a bush or piece of architecture.

Curious and a little scared, you follow the stranger towards one of the carriages. Quietly, you get close enough to grab their wrist. The shape lets out a gasp and turns around to look at you.

“Alina?!” you whisper. What in Saints’ mercy is she doing? You look at her warm, casual clothes and the bag on her back. “Are you running away?”

“I need to leave,” she answers equally quietly. Her voice as well as her stare is filled with certainty - she’s convinced beyond reasonable doubt this is the right thing to do. “Please, don’t try to stop me.”

You let go of her hand. “Stop you?” A dry chuckle leaves your lips. “I’m coming with you.”

“What?” she deadpans. Alina is staring at you with a vacant stare and her mouth slightly agape. Apparently exchanging royal comforts for hay and stolen apples is unthinkable.

“If I have to spend one more day around Vasily, I will murder someone.”

Alina slowly nods her head - she can definitely understand the sentiment. A dimwitted Fjerdan would have more charm than the older prince. But then she squints her eyes, looking at you with a sense of scepticism.

“Out there, there won’t be warm beds and three-course dinners, you know?”

“I know,” you answer with a careless shrug. Loitering and wandering isn’t for ladies of your sort, it’s like throwing a finless fish into a tank with sharks. Despite that, you’re quite convinced the means justify the end, at least in this scenario. “But out there is my Kolya. And I’m done politely waiting for him.”

A shadow of sadness covers her face. If there’s anyone who can understand your plight, it’s her. In fact, she is luckier than you - she saw her lover maybe an hour ago. Pleasant or unpleasant, the meeting confirmed to her that Mal is at least alive. It’s not a privilege you could afford.

“Then let’s go,” she says to you before opening the chest in the back of the carriage. Forgetting all of your etiquette and social standing, you climb into the compartment with her. Towards adventure or death, you’re going somewhere.

“The ring gave you away,” Kaz announces. “It’s too expensive for a bodyguard.”

Jesper knits his eyebrows together, suddenly remembering something. He leans towards Kaz but speaks a little too loudly for the question to be inconspicuous: “Didn’t that girl wear the same-”

When Kaz’s cold glare meets Jesper’s squinted eyes, the dark-skinned man immediately closes his mouth halfway through the question. Both of them sit back as they were but the cat is already out of the bag. Well, not entirely - half of it is peeking out of the metaphorical sack.

Nikolai looks between them with unmissable suspicion. Although he’s heard enough to be aware of the possibility that the Sun Summoner isn’t travelling by herself, this is the first time either of the Crows admits it.

His heart begins to beat slightly quicker: Alina run away from the Little Palace along with another woman and that lady was wearing a royal jewel at the time. As long as Vasily didn’t lose his signet on one of his distasteful escapades, the course of events points to only one person - you. Shoving his restless excitement into the deepest chasms of his heart, Nikolai manages to remain his composure:

“Who was wearing that ring?” The prince-turned-privateer unknowingly fiddles with the heavy jewellery on his finger. Noticing the Crows’ reluctance, he makes them an offer: “If you tell me who you saw wearing an emerald ring, I might, say, give you ten minutes to escape.” Nikolai vaguely gestures to the closed window on his right-hand side.

Kaz knows there’s no point in lying any longer. The man in front of him is not only well-informed but also smarter than he looks, making the Crow wonder whether he also knows the answer to this question but prefers to play some kind of a game. In any event, he’s done his part of the deal and his ex-accomplices are left to their own devices. Additionally, he could really use those ten minutes. “A young woman that accompanied Alina Starkov. High-born, confident, decisive. Not a Grisha as far as I know.”

“Not a Lantsov, obviously,” Jesper chips in.

Brekker’s keen eyes catch the barely noticeable change in Sturmhond’s expression - the corner of his mouth merely stuttered up and down but it is enough to tell Kaz as much as he needs:

“You know her.”

Know her? If Nikolai had a weaker grip on his emotions at the moment, he’d laugh until his stomach and diaphragm hurt and then he’ll burst with laughter once more, unspeakably joyous that he might get to see her sooner than he thought. Yes, he does know her but in the way heart knows blood and lungs know air. She’s the ligament that keeps his bones together, the fibres that construct his muscles, the very blood that runs in his veins. Does the Moon simply know the stars? Do trees know their roots and branches?

But for now, he needs to stay focused. 

“Not really,” Sturmhond answers while scrunching his nose. “Many aristocrats wear a ring like that. While I may know of a lot of them, I hardly know anything about them.”

Kaz fights back a mocking half-grin begging to twist his thin lips. “I’d argue that an emerald in Ravka is a rather rare gem.”

“Hers is probably genuine. Mine’s stolen.”

Silence falls between the three men. Nikolai and Kaz are staring each other down, battling in some kind of war of wits and nerves, waiting for the other to give in. Jesper is stealing glances at both of them, feeling the cold tension rise in the air.

Against his deep-seated desire, Kaz doesn’t inquire further about the emeralds or the strange coincidence that the two enigmatic characters wearing them might know each other. He sits back in the chair, his shoulders visibly drop. As much as he’d love to dig deeper, he’d much rather get out of here and reclaim his freedom that is now endangered.

“Well, gentlemen,” Nikolai begins in an upbeat tone, “your ten minutes start now.”

Without saying anything else, he leaves the room. Only then, when the dark, wooden door close behind him, does he let suppressed emotions wash over him. A quiet chuckle brushes past his lips and for a moment even tears sting his eyes. Delight, worry, relief - conflicting sensations merge into one, completely overpowering flame burning inside his chest.

Maybe he doesn’t have the Sun Summoner and he still needs to come up with a plan to catch her but Nikolai hasn’t been this happy for a while now: his солиышко is alright, still making the world brighter and warmer. If he can get to Alina Starkov, he might see her again, although he begins to wonder whether she wishes to see him after all those years of silence and ignorance. But if he can see her, just witness the marvel of her entire being even for one last second, he’ll be cured of the longing and loneliness that has been gnawing at him ever since he left Os Alta.

You’re following the Shu man to what you assume is his captain’s cuddy. The ship creeks and groans under the weight of the crew as well as the power of the waves. The bussing crewmen spare the three of you a glance, only to show disinterest and go back to their duties. It’s a nice change compared to the kerchen ship you travelled on to Novyi Zem, where the captain asked Alina and you to stay under the deck because of the sailors’ superstition. After getting off the ship, it took you a good week to wash out the reek of cured cod from your clothes and hair. Sometimes you still felt like you can smell it in the air, even in the dusty wind sweeping through Novyi Zem.

Your ‘guide’ pushes the door and they swing open with a creak, the list of the ship aiding the motion. Except for the squeaky hinges, probably rusting faster than anyone can manage, Volkvolny is in good shape. In fact, it looks brand new - no mould or woodworms.

“Captain, request for charter,” the stocky stranger announces with a hint of amusement or excitement in his voice. Despite his imposing visage, the Shu man has made a good impression on you but the long sword on his back kept you vigilant against getting too comfortable in his company.

Only when he moves to the side, presenting the three of you to his captain, do you see the face of the infamous Sturmhond.

You want to laugh. In fact, you have to clench your fists to stop yourself from bursting out with laughter. This situation feels like the strangest coincidence that you can think of, which in turn makes you suspect that it’s not a coincidence at all. Because what are the odds?

Nikolai’s face momentarily brightens up when he recognizes you, a new glint lights up his eyes. He looks different than you remember but in all the right ways: his shoulders look broader and his hair is longer, curling in a way that makes him appear more infantile. You remembered him as a handsome man but the Nikolai in front of you is beautiful enough to be considered unreal.

He's staring into you like a deer caught in headlights until Tolya hands him Alina’s unusual means of payment. As Nikolai is turning the piece of jewellery in his fingers, you notice another change: his hands look rougher, definitely scarred from all the adventures you hope you’re yet to hear about.

The blond prince turns his attention back to Alina, Mal and you. “A gold hairpin can get you anywhere. But an emerald ring?” He gestures to you. “It can get you everywhere.”

“It’s not for sale,” you answer, although you know he’s not trying to buy it. After all, he’s the one that gave it to you.

“I don’t want it.” Nikolai shakes his head. Then, a flirty smile appears on his face. “Looks better on you anyway, doll.”

You’re about to respond to his remark when his attention is once again placed on Alina. “Now, Tolya says you’re looking for a charter. Where are we sailing?”

Alina begins the story with ‘the creation of the world’ as your mother used to say: the Little Palace, Darkling, Morozova’s amplifiers and the Fold. Nikolai nods along, never giving away that he’s privy to most of the story. He doesn’t believe in the Sea Whip at first but that’s hardly his fault - not too long ago people wouldn’t believe in the existence of the Sun Summoner and now she’s standing beside you, nervously rubbing her hand. As you have expected from the moment you saw that Nikolai is Sturmhond, he agrees to the insanity of taking up the quest to catch the amplifier.

“Tolya will show you around.” He sends you off. You’re about to follow your friends out of the cuddy when he adds: “You, emerald lady, I’d like to talk to in private.”

Alina gives you a concerned look (‘blink twice if you need help’)  but you only smile and nod at her in response. With Mal tugging at her arm, she reluctantly leaves you and Sturmhond alone.

The moment the door closes behind Tolya and your friends, Nikolai runs around his desk towards you, engulfing you in a bone-crushing hug. His hand threads through your hair, pushing your head further into the crook of his neck. Even if you tried, there’s no way you can pull away or even move. Taking a deep breath, you smell the familiar fragrance of his cologne but now it’s mixed with the scent of resin, saltwater and seaweed.

Then he pulls away, looking you up and down with burning worry. “Are you alright? Are you hurt? What are you doing here?”

You swear he could be bleeding out on the floor and still he’d be apologizing for staining your clothes. It’s heartwarming that despite the years and evident change in his appearance, Kolya is still Kolya.

A wide smile enters your face. “Looking for a frisky sailor to take me on a voyage filled with indecency, obviously.”

“Well, here he is.” Nikolai points to himself and winks at you. “And he’d really like to know why you’re in Novyi Zem with the Sun Summoner and whats-his-face and not in the Grand Palace in Os Alta.”

You let out a heavy sigh and shake your head gently. “I grew tired, Kolya.” His eyebrows slant upon hearing the exhaustion in your voice. Despite the sheer happiness he feels when you say his name, the concern gnawing at his heart seems to be more powerful. “Years have gone by without you giving me even the tiniest sign that you’re alive and well. And your brother, Saint’s have mercy on him because I won’t, has been adamant about marrying me ever since you left. I told him I will accept his proposal the day he lays your dead body before me.” You make pause, noticing a strange shadow hanging over Nikolai’s face. But he’s not saying anything for a moment, so you finish what you wanted to say: “I had to get away from it all. There’s only so much uncertainty and intruding fingers a lady can take.”

“By the Saints,” he breathes out, “did Vasily lay a hand on you?”

You feel his grip around you tighten but it’s not painful, rather securing. “If you’re asking whether he hit me or forced himself on me, then no, he did not. He did, however, make it abundantly clear what he wants from me. On multiple occasions.”

Nikolai’s face twists in a scowl. The glint that lit up his eyes when he saw you is now gone, exchanged for something dark and unstable. “I’m so sorry, if I knew-”

“I know, love,” you interrupt him. He doesn’t need to announce the ends he’d go to in order to ensure you’re safe and comfortable. Nikolai has never said or done so but you’re fairly convinced he wouldn’t shy away from fistfighting Vasily if he said something less-than-savoury to you. “But neither of us could have known.”

“I promised you’d be safe in Os Alta.”

“And I promised to stay put.” You can’t keep laughter in any longer. You’re not quite sure whether your chuckle is born out of happiness or disbelief. “Now look at us.”

Suddenly, he knits his eyebrows close. At first, you think he’s confused but then the slight rise of his cheeks suggests something closer to contempt or disgust. "Would you actually marry Vasily if he gave you my dead body?"

You can only give him an indifferent shrug. "Maybe?” you ponder aloud. “If you were dead, I would lose all care about what happens to me or with me. In a way, I’d be dead too."

Nikolai takes one of your hands and kisses its fingers. Your breath hitches in your throat when you feel his warm lips against your skin. “I could never rest in peace knowing how he’s treating you.”

“Having you haunt me would be incomparably better than you just being gone. Everything is better than silence.”

His shoulders slouch. Nikolai looks away from you for a moment, admiring the floor in his cuddy but even this can’t hide his guilt and shame. “I couldn’t have just popped in for a visit. Not anywhere in Ravka.”

"You couldn't even have written me a letter?"

"Someone at the palace would recognize my handwriting. I couldn't risk it."

"Then you could have dictated the letter to one of your crew."

That self-assured, flirty smirk appears again on his face. "And scandalize my crewmen with the things I want to tell you?”

As much as you’ve dearly missed his insufferable humour, at the moment it’s making your skin crawl. “This is a serious conversation, Nikolai,” you state firmly.

“I am serious, солиышко.” The pet name rolls off his tongue with both weight and lightness as though it belongs exclusively to you and no one else can ever claim it as their own. He kisses your hand again but keeps it against his lips for a while longer. Then, he places your fingers on his chest and you can feel the soft thrumming of his heart. “Do you think I never thought about writing to you? That I didn’t stay up at night thinking about what I will tell you when we meet again? Countless letters I have begun only to tear them apart and throw them into the sea or burn them. If some people found out we know each other, you’d be in much greater danger than Darkling following your steps. I’d rather deal with the heartbreak of staying away from you than know I put you in danger because I can’t live without you.”

It brings you a grim sense of comfort that he’s been equally torn as you were over the lack of contact. You never thought about it before but Nikolai must have been worried sick, not knowing whether you’re alright and happy. Has he imagined your plight and misery as often as you did his?

“What did you write in those letters?” you ask in a shaky voice.

“I wrote about how much I miss you, how it physically hurts to consider that you might think I have abandoned you. When I was hungry, cold, tired or sick, only the memories of you made me push on. On nights when I couldn’t sleep, I’d stare at the sky above me and wonder whether you’re looking at the same stars. I wrote that wherever I go, I see your face. You are in every sunrise and sunset, every flower I see and every fire that warms me.” Nikolai lets go of your fingers, placing both of his hands on either side of your face. The softness in his eyes makes you swoon. “I only wrote the truth,” he says slowly, making sure you understand the weight of his words.

Swallowing back tears, you lean into his warm touch. “My beloved, my heart yearns for you?” you jest in a dramatic voice.

A playful smile creeps back unto his lips. “If only my heart.”

“Gross.”

“You wanted a frisky sailor.”

"You’re a pirate, not a sailor.”

"I’m a privateer,” he drones out the word as though it makes a world of a difference.

"Pirate sounds sexier."

Nikolai gives you a fake frown. “Oh, I definitely am a pirate."

Without thinking twice, he’s kissing you. The sensation is just as comforting as you remember. His soft lips are doting on you, growing needier with each peck as though this is some feverish attempt at making up the lost time. 

He pulls away to catch his breath and although you’re panting yourself, you unknowingly chase after him, unwilling to dismiss this carnal desire just yet. Nikolai seems to notice your eagerness - he flashes you a cocky grin and shortly pecks your lips again.

“You crossed Ravka, the Fold and the sea just to find me?” he whispers. His eyes are stuck to your wet, swollen mouth.

“And I’d do it a hundred more times if I had to.”

You exchange a few more hungry kisses, pecking and nipping at each other’s lips, before Nikolai continues the conversation:

“I want to say that I’m flattered but I’d rather not encourage you to do something this stupid and dangerous ever again.”

“Hate to break it to you but you took all the stupid with you.”

He rests his forehead against yours; hot, laboured breaths brush against your flushed cheeks. “I’d like to clarify that I’m not stupid, I just can’t seem to think about anything other than you.”

Nikolai wraps his arms around your waist. In a swift motion, he turns you around and pushes you against the edge of his desk. His strength surprises you when Nikolai effortlessly lifts you and places you atop the table, pushing off maps and navigation essentials. Firm, warm hands are restlessly wandering across your body, unsure where to lay or what to grab.

You gasp quietly when his fingers sneak underneath your shirt. “Is this the indecent part of the voyage, my frisky sailor?”

“By the Saints, I hope so,” he whispers against your lips. Then, he furrows his eyebrows questioningly. “Is that offensive to say around a living Saint?”

“I don’t think Alina heard you.”

His nimble fingers are quickly undoing the buttons on your clothes. “Well, she will hear you in a moment.”

“Gross,” you say with laughter in your voice but the word gets muffled as Nikolai gets back to kissing you again.

Even if the crew did hear you that day, no one dared say a word.

зайка [zay-ka] - bunny (feminine; term of endearment)

солиышко [sol-nee-shko] - little sun (unisex; term of endearment)

#nikolai lantsov #nikolai lantsov imagine #nikolai lantsov fanfiction #nikolai imagines #nikolai x reader #nikolai lantsov x reader #nikolai lantsov x you #shadow and bone fanfic #shadow and bone x reader #shadow and bone fanfiction #shadow and bone imagine #shadow and bone #shadow and bone x you #sturmhond #grishaverse

[mrsrookhunt]

The BSD men falling asleep on you

Nikolai, Mushitaro, Sigma, Lovecraft, Jouno & Ango

(Is this my unofficial announcement that I write for Ango now? Yes, yes it is.)

Nikolai Gogol

Nikolai had been running on pure coffee and imagination-fueled fumes all day long after a night of two hours of sleep the day before.

Finally, at 11 o' clock at night he seems to run out of jokes, nudging his head into your lap while you read a book he deemed 'stupid and emotional' earlier in the day before you caught him crying in the bathroom, on chapter 4, a few hours later.

He always had the energy of a pack of wild toddlers in their natural habitat, tired or not, so it startled you to find him snoring and already drooling on your lap in just a few minutes.

He had a firm grasp on your arm, snuggling it like a teddy bear, and was otherwise halfway draped across you, in a dead sleep you didn't want to wake him up from.

Instead, you stroked his hair and tried to make yourself comfortable on the couch, pausing the TV and listening to his snores, the quietest you'd ever heard a sound out of him.

It wouldn't be the best sleep either of you ever got, but it would suffice to recharge the both of you for another day.

Mushitaro Oguri

Your dear Mushi, tired? Outwardly? A miracle. When he curls up on top of you during a bubble bath that was supposed to be exclusively yours, excitement courses through you, giggling at this cat-like posture. You tease him for a moment, but when he meets your eyes, you see that he's struggling to keep them open.

His motives are clear; he's jumped in your hot warm bath just to fall asleep on you.

Normally, every night he likes to sleep with his head to your chest so he can hear your heartbeat, but tonight he's too exhausted to even wait until bedtime, which, to his credit, is still several hours away.

You let him rest, rubbing his shoulders and back while he slips into a gentle bathtime snooze.

Kissing his head a few times, you pour a bit of warm water over him and change your posture so that the water laps over his body.

He grumbles, but barely stirs.

"Shh, Mushi, go back to sleep."

He gladly obliges.

Sigma

Sigma is generally exhausted, that's nothing new for him, but today sleep is overtaking him faster than he can prepare for it.

It's not long before he's layed out across your lap while you sit in bed, scrolling through social media, splayed out like a starfish and looking for your attention.

For a moment, you think he wants to cuddle, but it's clear that it won't be a long cuddling session. He just wants you to cuddle up with him so he can sleep properly.

When you put down your phone, he's already reaching out for you, fingertips gracefully sliding down your face. He brings your face closer, guiding you downwards for a nuzzle. He wraps his arms around you and pulls you into an embrace, breath slowing down.

His eyes are only lightly closed, but you know better than to disturb him. He's got so much going on; while you've never seen him nap, you want to encourage it. He needs rest and self-care, and those are things that he puts far, far down his list of priorities most nights.

You quickly reach to shut off the bedside lamp and snuggle him tighter, pulling the blankets over you two.

Extra sleep would be good for the both of you.

H.P. Lovecraft

He is the ultimate sleeper normally, and while it takes more than some poking and prodding to wake him up, you still hesitate to disturb him when he drops, already half-asleep as usual, into your lap as you clack at your desktop computer.

He can't possibly be comfortable, body on the floor, with his neck stretched to inhuman heights to reach your lap. You giggle under your breath; his bodily distortions are something you've come to be quite comfortable with, and with minimal effort, you slide a hand down his lengthened neck and tickle him at the base of his collarbone.

He opens his eyes with an unamused snap and a slight furrow at his brow, wondering what the issue is.

With a sigh, you remind him that you're working, and that if he wants to sleep on you, he'll have to wait for a few more minutes.

He groans, rustling to the bed five whole steps away with the apathy of a sloth, annoyed at your rejection.

As much as you like to have him in your lap, he does it so often that it has made you get behind in your tasks many times.

You sense a glare as you continue typing, a little slower in hopes of being quieter so that he could sleep, but it is clearly to no avail, as his gaze is burning searing holes in your head and he is very evidently not going to sleep without you tonight.

You shut down your computer and put on the same relaxing beach-side sounds you do every night to calm your favorite ocean man, and you sweep into the bed beside him, pulling his head into the crook of your neck. He's tall, too tall for the bed, but curled up in such a position that he feels smaller than you.

He lets out a soft, contented growl, happy with your affections, before dropping off into dreamland, expectantly waiting for you to follow.

Jouno Saigiku

He's definitely only doing this because you hinted that you liked it.

Prideful as always, he insists that he's just tired, but you know he just wants you to croon over his actions and give him your undivided attention.

He pretends to fall asleep faster than he actually does, "sleep"-biting your wrist, a little smirk present on his face when you groan.

Always the sadist.

You roll him off your lap playfully, careful to make sure he won't hit his head on the bed posts.

You try to drift off to sleep yourself, certain that he'll keep teasing if you don't.

You jolt as he pulls you by the ear, frowning.

Apparently, he's dead set; he wants to fall asleep on you tonight. In a flash, his much-larger frame is pressed on top of you, and he's got you in a tight, inescapable embrace.

He's asleep in a few moments, just as he said he would be, and while it wasn't the 'cute' moment you were looking for, the cuddles were satisfying.

Ango Sakaguchi

Ango straight up drops, basically already asleep, into your shared bed.

He reaches out vaguely at the surrounding area, looking for you, knowing you're buried under a mound of covers somewhere.

You grasp his hand and pull him into the barrier of warmth you'd created over the course of a few hours.

He mumbles and groans some incoherent words into your chest; sweet things, you're certain, and you'll pretend you know what he said tomorrow.

You rub the base of his head, which feels feverish, as it normally does, and work your fingers up into his scalp to massage that constant throbbing headache away.

He's beginning to snore, and as a last minute act, you ease his glasses off his face and set them aside for tomorrow.

You whisper sweet words into his ears for him to hold through tomorrow.

#ango x reader #x reader #bsd nikolai gogol #sigma x reader #mushitaro x reader #x character #character imagines #jouno x reader #fanfictions #fanfic #nikolai x reader #bungou stray dogs #lovecraftxreader #fanfiction #yandere #bsd s4 #yandere mushitaro #yandere jouno #ango sakaguchi #yandere sigma #bsd lovecraft #yanderelovecraft

[kaorikarma]

( soft)YAN!BSD MEN HEADCANNONS

How they show their love + Act in their relationship

Nikolai Gogol, Sigma, Chuuya Nakahara, Fyodor Dostoevsky, Dazai Osamu, Bram Stoker, Mushitaro, Jouno x reader

Warnings: Yandere, manipulative (fucking fedya & Kolya 💀), suggestive (chuu toy and Daz),straight up nsfw (Chuuie), PAINFUL AWKWARDNESS (bram)

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Nikolai Gogol

Nikolai... is interesting. His love isn't apparent most of the time. Just like he masks his true demeanor with humor and his eccentric attitude, he masks his love as well.

Even when you begin dating, don't expect him to open up much. Everything stays the same as when you were friends, with the exception of an occasional teasing kiss.

Emphasis on teasing. Part of Nikolai's expert plan (in his mind) is to free you from emotions too, by breaking you down. That occasional kiss is rare- withheld for only when you please him or to give you a rare spot of hope when you begin feeling hopeless about the relationship.

He does love you, but it's begrudgingly; a great source of irritation for him; after all these years of fighting against his "human nature" he is still privy to human weaknesses.

When he does genuinely express his love, it's when he's being serious with you, trusting you with the man under the mask. It may not seem like the best relationship, and certainly not love-- but if you peer between the lines.. you might set your eyes on the shadows of affections.

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Sigma

Sigma is so, so, suffocatingly cautious.

Can you blame him? Everyone either uses him or leaves him. Sigma's expression of love could be just so much deeper-- but he's learned his lesson, he's already half-broken and you're the only one gluing together the edges of deep-running cracks, but leaving the center to shatter.

When you first start dating him, he still doesn't even leave the casino. Doesn't even bother, since it would be better to stay in case something happened, after all what if the power failed, or somebody crucial called out sick, or--

You spend a lot of time breaking him from his anxious thoughts.

He eventually begins opening up to you, laughing with you, letting you listen to his opinions and thoughts with minimal cares. He loves your kisses and dreams of things with you he never once considered in his short life. And about his short life--

He still hasnt told you of his origins.. it's not that he doesn't want to, but he doesn't know how.

He worries sometimes about your relationship, which seems to be going just so well. Will you hate him? You'd leave him, surely!

Worry is the center focus of Sigma's love, and his life in general. Don't expect him to ever stop worrying about one thing or another, from a date night to marriage, his sense of anxiety seems engraved in his bones.

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Chuuya Nakahara

Chuuya's love is so aggressive, in more ways than one.

Chuuya's loss of everyone he loved makes him utterly convinced he's going to lose you. You matter more than anything to him, and it is that loyalty that strains your relationship; particularly, your disdain for his membership of the mafia. He struggles with himself, day and night, not being able to choose between you and the mafia. It's like asking him to choose between his family and his lover.

The fights aren't enough to deter you from pestering him about it anyway; he doesn't let you see how badly the topic upsets him. Mentally, he's begging you to drop it. There's always a little bit of tension. Chuuya's short fuse coupled with the (albeit small) problems you have, makes an sometimes explosive bond between the two of you.

Try as he might, he just can't excuse some of the stupid things you do when he's not constantly watching your every move like a toddler. Maybe none of the mistakes you make are big, but Chuuya is annoyed by every little thing, so there's no such thing as a "small" problem.

When the goings' good, however, it's good. Chuuya spoils you with lots of affections, drowning you in his deep - sometimes frankly obsessive- love. Chuuya will come home with flowers, and gifts or whatever details you had that needed tying up if you haven't gotten to them yet. His heart is so big and open when it comes to you, he can't even really hide it. He just loves you so, so much.

(NSFW) Chuuya's sweet, happy love, however, has to be balanced out by the roughness he displays in bed. If you aren't interested in sex for a long time or for whatever personal reason, you might as well call it quits. Chuuya's sex drive is insanely high, and he's absolutely, torturously, wild in bed. He needs you; sex goes beyond simple want for him.

All in all, Chuuya's expression of love runs as deep as his loyalty, so you'd better not betray it.

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Fyodor Dostoevsky

Fyodor is a very manipulative man, and even more so a lover.

If you have something he wants, he bleeds you dry of it- and that could be love or information. It's all the same protocol. Deceive and achieve.

Fyodor's "love" consists of the sweetest phrases and whispers of passion at the beginning, and eventually you find yourself at his beck and call, more of a slave than a lover, a partner, what you long to be with him.

He teases you, brings you to the edge of how much he 'hates' you, and then pulls back the reigns, showering you with love and apologies and the promise of change. Fyodor's real love is rough and cold. You're in a better situation with the fake affections than the real ones.

Give yourself to him. All of you. Let him love you.

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Dazai Osamu

Dazai is all smiles, jokes, passion and cruelty.

It doesn't seem like it, but under the surface Dazai's demeanor is cold, calculating, and cruel. Frightening to you, in a relationship, even though he never physically harms you. But the threats... are enough to keep you in check. Luckily, most of the time Dazai keeps up that happy facade, even with you.

Your relationship becomes strained when he lets that facade down too much, but the truth is so well-hidden most of the time that for the most part you consider your relationship happy and fruitful.

Dazai's affection is plentiful, with many gentle kisses and passionate nights . You often have open conversations, attempting to decode and outwit his high intelligence, which, for the most part, was to no avail. He was just too smart, and always on top of you, more quick witted than you ever could be. He would deflect your more probing questions and problems with a joke, and turn the situation back on you.

Dazai, on the whole would be a great lover, but an even greater enemy.

Should I make a Dark Yandere Headcacnnon post for Daz? Because I feel like this man would hold his own suicide over your head right off the bat, so you would never know he was suicidal to begin with. He gets a 10/10 in the manipulation catagory.

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Bram Stoker

Bram's affection is apathetic.

It isn't his fault, really. It's hard to love on someone when you're only a head and shoulders mounted on a sharp blade, but even when he has an opportunity, Bram feels more jaded about love and getting close to someone than anyone else, and it's hard to get him to open up.

Given your relationship is really just watching movies and talking, you don't get to be as close to Bram as you would like either, but in rare moments he will allow you to carry him, not like fukuchi, but resting his head in the crook of your neck like a hug. He won't admit it, but he adores being held like this. If he had arms, he'd hold you crushingly tight.

Many conversations with Bram are awkward, both because of his conflicted emotions and his lack of modern knowledge. Prepare for some downright painful misunderstandings and embarrassing explanations.

Bram doesn't know how to express his deep love for you, especially in a modern world he has trouble adapting to. He thinks, if he had a body, he would have already taken the opportunity to take you far away from everyone, from evil people he knows more about than you. Lying beneath his polite disdain for many things, he's worried-- fearful of what will be done to you to manipulate him, and he won't be able to protect you.

Bram knows he can't protect you, but he'll be damned if he doesn't try.

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Mushitaro Oguri

Mushitaro's affections are meticulous, almost as meticulous a him. He wants your kisses and affections, don't get me wrong; but not in public, limited in private, and only in certain places, like the couch or the bedroom. He even goes as far as to request that you not kiss or touch him in certain areas, for no other reason than him finding it improper (although you really think he's just being bashful).

His personality, as a whole, makes him very hard to be in any sort of partnership with. He's picky about everything, from the food you make him to the things even you wear.

In a relationship, he's loving, stipulations aside. His love is more protective than you think is normal, at first, but you quickly sink into your normal routine of going everywhere with Mushitaro and only Mushitaro. He doesn't care for your friends but lets you hang out with them on occasion, a long as you are with him and he finds them decent company. After all, your image reflects his as well. You wouldn't want to ruin his image, now would you?

Mushi isn't a hardcore yandere, much to your luck. Eventually, there comes a time where his nature is finally apparent to you, but there's not much you can do about it and not much you would do anyways. You already know, it's simply not a concern that he may go too far; the strength to truly harm you isn't within his reach.

The best thing you can do in a relationship with Mushitaro is to please him as best as possible, love him with all your heart, and settle into your strictly-regulated relationship.

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Jouno Saigiku

Jouno's relationship with you is forceful. He tries to make it feel natural, with fake affections and gifts, but doesn't know how to properly conduct a meaningful relationship; after all, your first "date" was when he showed up to a Café you regularly frequented after you had previously turned him down numerous times, infinitely agitating him.

He often spoke of his association with the hunting dogs, hoping to impress you, although you'd never been overly interested in his stories. It wasn't that you didn't love him at all; you wouldn't have agreed (after much pressure) to live with him if you didn't, but his expression of love feels strained and you pick up on it.

With the lack of affections, you can sometimes become upset, and moreover unbalanced by the rejection of your outright asks for his affection. However, if Jouno senses that he's really, legitimately fucked up, he will probably give you a nice cuddle, and perhaps, if you voice that it's an issue that plagues you, he will kiss you on the cheek on the way out the door each day.

The issue at hand is that Jouno does really love you, but he doesn't know how to balance love, work, and his own sadistic nature. He does care for you a lot, and will show it, but it may be in manipulative ways, sometimes with poorly disguised threats or pressure. It's not that he can't be more kind and caring with you, but part of him won't allow it, so he follows his own warped personality.

Loving Jouno isn't easy, but the sweet moments have unimaginable value, and Jouno will always care for and protect you, in his own cute little ways. Love him, or face the consequences.

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Wow! Hi, thanks for making it to the end. This is the first time I've written in what feels like forever due to health issues but I am so glad to be back and feeding the fires of fandoms again. Requests are open! Love yall!!

-April 11th-14th, 2023-

-Kaori-

#sigma x reader #nikolai x reader #chuuya x reader #bsd s4 #jouno x reader #dazai x reader #bsd nikolai gogol #mushitaro x reader #bsd sigma #fyodor x reader #bsd #bungou stray dogs #fanfiction #bramxreader #sigma bsd #fanfic #yandere #yandere chuuya #yandere x darling

[hottpinkpenguin]

okay okay but that prompt “give me something to dream about” with steamy/fluff nikolai? yes please

A/n: hear you go anon! Hope you love it. Nikolai is SOO easy to write for!! ♥️

Nikolai Lantsov x Fem!Reader

Word count: 1622 | Warnings: steam, angst

You watched Alina Starkov’s long, dark hair swish from side to side as she stormed off from Nikolai’s side with an indignant huff. Stupid girl, you thought to yourself as you watched her stomp out of his private map room. You ducked out of the dimly lit doorway that the palace servants used as the girl everyone called a Saint spluttered past you without a backwards glance. She was small in person: short and slender with a youthful face. Pretty, but not beautiful. She had grit, you couldn’t deny her that. Maybe in a different world, and if she hadn’t just been proposed to by the love of your life, you would have been friends.

The door to Nikolai’s map room closed loudly. Not quite a slam, but Alina used just enough force to convey her displeasure. Plunged into quiet, you peeped around the corner at your prince. He was standing opposite the table, leaning on it with his hands splayed along its surface and his head hanging in defeat. For a brief moment, you wondered if he wanted to see you tonight.

“Show’s over, Tiger. You can come out now.”

You shot Nikolai a pouty glare as you came out from your hiding place. You knew he’d known you were there, although you felt sheepish to be caught.

“Come here.” He gestured for you. You could hear the exhaustion in his voice, but also a note of eagerness. He needed you. His usually pristine military jacket was unbuttoned, and in the soft candlelight you could see a sliver of his chest peaking out above the neckline of his white linen undershirt. He raked a hand through his hair, knocking loose a few pieces that fell haphazardly over his brow. You swallowed, suddenly your mind buzzing at the sight of him. If Alina Starkov was a Saint, then Nikolai Lantsov was a goddamn angel.

“How’d it go, Pirate Prince?” You shot Nikolai a flirty smile, winking at him and using the nickname you knew he hated. You tried to keep your tone light to hide the fact that your chest felt like it was a fraction of an inch from caving on itself.

He grimaced at you, stepping around the large table with war maps and heavy tomes of Ravkan history sprawled across its surface. With strong, sure arms he swept you up into a rib crushing embrace, spinning you around and burying his head in your hair.

“Swimmingly,” he replied gruffly. “She almost smacked me.”

You laughed in spite of yourself. You’d not-so-secretly been hoping that Nikolai wouldn’t follow through on his plan to propose marriage to Alina Starkov. No matter how many times he promised you that the proposal was just a calculated political move, you’d never be anything but bitter. You knew Nikolai too well to seriously convince yourself that he would balk at the last moment, especially when the fate of his country lay in jeopardy, even if his heart did lie with you. But that hadn’t kept you from dreaming, hoping against hope.

He must have caught the flicker of sorrow in your eyes. He released you from his arms, hooking a thumb under your chin and gently lifting your face until he held your gaze.

“You know this isn’t what I want, Tiger.” His voice was low, smooth as silk, and devastatingly sincere.

You bit your lip, unsure of what to say. You’d promised yourself you wouldn’t argue with him, not again. Not over this. Who knew how long you had to be relatively free with your affections for him. Even though the two of you kept your romance private, that was purely a matter of preference. If (when, you forcibly corrected yourself) Nikolai actually married Alina, you’d have to take extra care to avoid being detected. Maybe to the point of going your separate ways indefinitely. You refused to waste what precious little time you had left bickering over an inevitable.

You tried to push that darkness out of your mind, forcing a gentle smile onto your face. Nikolai’s snow-blue eyes danced at the sight.

“I know, Nikki,” you replied softly. He chuckled, recognizing the pet name you used only when the two of you were alone. You felt his hand press against your lower back, pulling you in closer. You closed your eyes and tipped your head back, eagerly meeting his lips with yours. His mouth was warm and soft, the feel of him so familiar. The kiss was quick - tender with a hint of the playfulness you were both using to glaze over the deeper hurts. But it was delicious all the same. You let yourself enjoy it, twining your hands in the soft hair at the back of his neck and dancing your tongue along his bottom lip. He smiled against you, one hand cupping your cheek and deepening the kiss. You let him, for a moment, before you pulled back. You were teasing him, admittedly, and you could see it in the feral desire burning in his eyes.

“Saints be damned,” he muttered breathlessly, raking his gaze all over you. “You’re going to drive me mad, woman.”

You laughed, tipping your head back as a shiver ran up your spine at the gravel in his voice. Nikolai tucked his head against your exposed throat, laying down a line of featherlight kisses up under your jawline and towards your ear. When he reached your ear, he paused, nuzzling you gently. You ran your fingernails down from his hairline along the back of his neck and out across his broad shoulders. You felt his muscles release under your touch as he exhaled deeply.

“You need a warm bath, my Lord,” you informed him, kneading his shoulders to emphasize the tightness there. He groaned appreciatively at the sensation.

“That sounds nice,” he admitted, pulling back slightly and resting his hands on your hips. “But only if you join me.”

That mischievous glint in his eyes drove you absolutely wild. You could feel a warm jolt of desire begin to burn in your core. Nikolai sensed it somehow, smirking as if he could feel your lust. Something about the way he was devouring you with his eyes made you pause. You knew that, in a few more moments, you’d be lost to his touch and completely senseless with bliss. He knew it too, and he was hungry for it. You both were. But first, you had something to say.

“I won’t be your mistress, Nikolai. When you marry her. I love you, but I can’t do that to myself. To either of us.”

Your words were heavy, but your tone was soft. Almost apologetic.

You felt him momentarily wind down at the seriousness in your voice. The playful smirk melted from his face, leaving behind a somber sadness. He fiddled with the ruffles on your dress’ neckline for a few moments, both of you quiet as he processed your statement. He wasn’t surprised. Nikolai knew you better than anyone. You’d asked him once why it was that he understood you so clearly. We have mirror image souls, he’d said back as if it were the simplest answer in the world. From that moment on, you’d never doubted him.

“I know, Tiger.” His voice was so quiet it was almost a whisper. “I don’t think I could bear it if you did.”

You lifted your eyes to him, trying to memorize the way his face looked in the candlelight. He returned your gaze calmly, and you had the sense he was trying to commit the moment to memory just like you were.

After a few moments, you smiled, forcing yourself to loosen the internal grip you had on the heartbreak you knew was coming. He’s not married now, you reminded yourself. Your fingertips traced up his arms until your hands framed his face.

“Now, let’s get back to that bath.”

He grinned, lifting you from the hips until your legs were wrapped around his waist. He clasped you against him, your hands wrapped around his neck as he carried you out of the private map room and back towards the door that connected to his sleeping quarters. He turned around briefly to close the door behind him, shutting out the worries of the future in the process.

He let you slide out of his grasp when he entered the bathroom. Even through your house slippers, the tile floor was cool underfoot. He leaned down, opening the faucets over the large bathtub. Water came cascading out, splashing into the empty tub as he stoppered the drain. He tested the water temperature with his hands as you began untying the lacings on your bodice.

He turned back to you once the water was to his liking, watching your every movement with a greedy glint in his eyes. Once you’d stripped down to your skin, you stepped over to him and helped him slide his jacket off. It fell to the ground with a metallic ting as the medals adorning the jacket’s chest clinked on the marble floor. You started unlacing his undershirt when he reached up, grabbing your hands in his. He tilted his head slightly downward, pouring into your eyes with his own.

“A request, Tiger,” he drawled. You smirked as you continued to undo his shirt.

“Anything, my Prince.” He laughed at your reply, leaning in even further until he was so close you could feel his lips barely brushing against yours.

“Give me something to dream about.”

You leaned in, meeting his kiss, your body ablaze with the intensity of his words. You wanted to make sure that Nikolai Lantsov, the first and maybe only love of your life, didn’t need to ask you twice…

#shadow and bone imagine #shadow and bone fanfiction #shadow and bone #shadow and bone requests #nikolai lanstov x you #nikolai lantsov #nikolai lanstov x reader #Nikolai lanstov imagine #Nikolai lanstov x y/n #shadow and bone Nikolai lanstov

[thebadgerclan]

Misinformed

Pairing: Nikolai Lantsov x reader

Summary: You had no idea it was meant to feel good...

Smut!

The ceremony had been lovely, the reception had lasted into the early hours of the morning, and through it all, Nikolai hadn’t left your side once.  Nikolai Lantsov, your new husband, the man you’d fallen hard and fast for, the man who had proved his love and devotion to you dozens of times over.  Your marriage was a love match, a true fairy tale: you, the daughter of a Count, presented to court to make a good marriage, had caught the eye of the King, sealing your and your family’s positions forevermore.

And you loved him, oh, how you loved him!  Of course you’d have said yes to his proposal, what fool would reject marriage to a King?  But when Nikolai asked for your hand, you said yes not because of the rise in station, not because of the boon it would grant your family, but because you were irrevocably in love with Nikolai Lantsov.  And now you were Queen, elevated above all others, but you would have said “yes” if he were a simple farmer.

Your husband kept your hand clasped in his as he led you from the ballroom, a giddy smile on his face.  When the two of you were sequestered in your chambers, Nikolai pulled you into his arms and kissed you deeply, your body pressed flush to his.  “I love you,” he said against your lips.  “My Y/N, my Queen, my bride, I love you.”  It was all you could do to remain upright as he kissed you, dizzy from his affections.

As Nikolai’s hands traveled to the lacings of your gown, you began to feel warm, and when his lips tracked down to your jaw and neck, you felt your stomach twist.  All Saints, please don’t let me be sick on my wedding night, you thought.  You were an educated lady, you knew what was to happen tonight, but that didn’t mean you weren’t nervous.  And the advice your mother had given you had been… less than helpful.

“You must lie back and endure it,” she’d said.  “But do not worry.  Your Nikolai is a good man, I do not think he will drag it out longer than he must.”  Her words filled your head, but you did your best to focus on the man in your arms, the man who was kissing his way down your neck and tugging at your dress.  “Can I take this off, lovely?” Nikolai asked, and you whispered a “yes.”

Your gown soon laid on the floor in a heap of golden silk and tulle, and Nikolai groaned at the sight before him.  You’d been dressed in a sheer slip beneath your wedding dress, your body plainly visible beneath.  “Saints, look at you,” your husband said, raking his gaze over you.  “You’re so beautiful, Y/N.”  You felt your face flush, and Nikolai hurriedly stripped himself.  When he was naked, he took you in his arms once more, gently leading you to the bed.

He continued to kiss you, and the odd warm, tingling feeling in your belly continued to grow.  “Can I touch you?” Nikolai asked, and you nodded.  It was expected of you, that’s what your mother had said, it will be over soon.  Your husband trailed a hand down your side, and it felt like fire was left in the wake of his hand.  His lips were still on your neck, and slowly, Nikolai brought a hand between your legs.  When his fingers made contact, you let out a moan, a shuddering, breathy moan, and your eyes went wide.

“W-what was that?”  Immediately, Nikolai pulled away, looking at you with slight confusion.  “What was what, darling?”  “That feeling?  What was that?”  “When I touched you?”  “Yes!”  You were breathing hard, but your husband saw that you weren’t aroused, no, you were frightened.  Clearly, you’d been misinformed about tonight, or worse, not informed at all.  Nikolai rose from the bed and retrieved a dressing gown–his dressing gown–and draped it over your shoulders, sitting at your side and covering himself with the sheets.

“Y/N, sweetheart,” he said, reaching out to take your hand.  “What…did anyone tell you what would happen tonight?”  Nikolai knew that your family held more conservative views, that you likely hadn’t been taught what sex was until just before your wedding, and he needed to be absolutely certain of what you knew.  You shook your head.  “No…well, not really.”  He squeezed your hand, encouraging you to continue.

“Most of what I know about sex, I taught myself.  I snuck into my father’s library and found books on anatomy.  My mother certainly never told me anything.  I know what sex is, and I know that it's how women have children, but when my mother pulled me aside tonight, she told me…”  You hesitated, and Nikolai squeezed your hand again.  “She told me that I must ‘lie back and endure it’.  That you’re a good man and won’t drag it out.  But Nikolai, when you kissed me, when you touched me, I felt…Saints, I felt hot, and when you touched me…there, it felt…”

You were blushing fiercely, and your husband leaned to kiss your cheek.  “Did it feel good, darling?” he asked, and you nodded.  “It’s supposed to, my love.  Sex, making love, it’s supposed to feel good.  Yes, it’s primary purpose is to have children, but people do it because it’s enjoyable.”  When you looked at your husband, your brows were raised.  “It is?”  “Yes, sweet love, it is.  And, if you want me to, I will show you just how good a man can make his wife feel.”

For a moment you were silent, and Nikolai didn’t press.  “When I felt warm earlier…”  “You were aroused, my love.  And that’s perfectly normal.”  Rather than say anything, you rose to your knees and pressed your lips to his, wrapping your arms around his neck.  “I want you to show me,” you whispered, letting his dressing gown slide from your shoulders.  “You do?”  “Yes.  I trust you, Nikolai.”  Your husband smiled and deepened the kiss, gently pushing you back to lay down.

“If you want to stop, just tell me,” he whispered, and resumed his kissing down your body.  The warm, tingly feeling was back, but you let it wash over you, knowing it was your beloved causing it.  “I don’t want you holding back those pretty noises,” Nikolai said, coming to lie at your side, one arm around you.  “Let me hear you.”  This time, when he touched you, you didn’t bite back the moan that left your lips, and Nikolai smiled.

“That’s it, lovely,” he praised, gently rubbing at your clit.  “Just feel it.”  In mere minutes, you were breathless, and Nikolai was kissing you, whispering praises of your beauty against your skin.  “I’m going to put my fingers inside you,” he said.  “Tell me if anything hurts.”  You nodded, and your husband slowly pressed a finger into you, thrusting it shallowly.  After several minutes, he added a second, and when he bent his fingers, you let out a loud moan, bucking your hips against his palm.

“There it is,” he said, lowering his lips to yours, kissing you deeply.  Pure bliss filled your body, pleasure that you’d never imagined, and soon, that pleasure was building into a wave that demanded to crest.   “Nikolai,” you panted.  “Nikolai, I… Saints, I–”  “Shh, I know, honey.  Just let it happen.  Come for me.”  His words were punctuated with a press of his fingers against your clit, and the wave crested.  You were moaning your husband’s name, your eyes rolling back in your head, and when you opened them, he was smiling softly at you.

“Did that feel good, angel?”  You nodded, and Nikolai slowly withdrew his fingers from your body and moved to kneel between your still spread legs.  His cock was hard and aching, and your eyes went wide.  “It won’t hurt for too long,” he vowed.  “And just for a moment.  Do you want to keep going?”  “Yes,” you breathed, reaching out for him.  “Nikolai, please, I need you.”

Your husband chuckled as he took himself in hand, aligning the head of his cock with your cunt.  “It’s alright, darling.  You don’t have to beg.  Not this time, anyway.”  Nikolai pressed a delicate kiss to your forehead as he slowly entered you, pausing when you whimpered.  “I know, darling, I’m sorry.  It won’t hurt like this every time, just the first time, I promise.”  You nodded, keeping your eyes on his hazel ones, focusing on the love there.

Slowly, Nikolai pressed forward until he was completely within you, and he let out a shaking breath. “Fuck, you feel so good,” he said, and you tilted your chin to kiss him.  When you were ready, he began thrusting gently, keeping his motions slow and shallow, not wanting to overwhelm you.  “Nikolai,” you sighed, threading your hands through his hair.  “Nikolai, I…”  “Tell me, sweetheart.”

“It feels so good!”  He couldn’t help the smug pride that washed over him; he was the only man who had ever, who would ever, make you feel this way.  “I know, Y/N, I can feel you squeezing around me.”  Your husband sped up, just a bit, pulling a bit further out of you with each thrust.  He kept one hand cupping your cheek, the other trailing over your body, squeezing your breasts and kneading at your hips.  When he rubbed your clit, you bucked against him, causing him to moan.

“I love you, Y/N,” Nikolai managed, already close.  “I love you so much, my perfect wife.”  His thrusts had sped up a bit more, but you felt no discomfort.  No, you felt more pleasure than you ever could have imagined.  “Nikolai, Kolya, I…I’m…”  “I know, sweetheart.  I’m close too.  Come when you’re ready, darling.”  It didn’t take much longer, and when you came with a cry of your husband’s name, that was more than enough to push him over the edge too.

Nikolai pulled out of you, making you whine, and rolled onto his side, tugging you greedily into his arms.  “I love you,” he said, pulling the sheets over the two of you.  “I love you, I love you, I love you, I–oh.”  Your husband rolled over, reaching for something on his nightstand, and you furrowed a brow.  “Here,” he said, handing you a corked vial.  “Alkemi contraceptive.  If you don’t want any little Lantsovs just yet.”

You laughed softly and drank the contraceptive, handing the empty vial to Nikolai.  “Not quite yet,” you said, snuggling back into his arms.  “As my Queen commands.”  For a while, the two of you laid in silence, trading lazy kisses and soft smiles.  “I had no idea,” you said after a few minutes.  “That it could be so good.”  Nikolai smiled, kissing you sweetly.  “I will always make you feel good, my love.  I have so much to show you.”  The remainder of the night was spent with your darling husband showing you just how pleasurable love making should be, and when the servants entered to find their Queen seated on their King’s face, they kindly informed the rest of the staff to avoid the royal chambers for the day.

#nikolai lanstov x reader #shadow and bone fanfiction #nikolai lantsov x you #shadow and bone reader insert

[babesiamthemenace]

36 from the NSFW prompts with Nikolai please?! 🥰

I know you requested smut but this wound up tuning into an angst/love confession fic within smut. I hope you enjoy!!!! Requests are open!

Summary:  Reader is a lifelong friend of Nikolai, having been with him during Sturmhold. Now that he is crowned to be King, the reality of war is starting to infiltrate your friendship and awaken things you had hoped to keep hidden. No chances left untaken.

Word count: 3.0K

Warnings:  🚫18+ Minors DNE🚫, afab! reader, slight angst, smut, fingering, p in v, unprotected sex (wrap it pls)

not my gif

No matter how many candles filled the map room of the forge, it still wasn’t enough to chase away the darkness of night. It gave a warm and hazy glow to the area, leaving a dull heat in the air. 

It was these candles that brought out the angles of Nikolai’s face. It was almost comforting for you to see him hunched over a table, scouring maps and looking over plans. You could almost pretend you were back on the volkvolny, deciding which port to dock on instead of where to attack next. From your hidden spot in the doorway, you could see the stress in his brow and almost feel tension across his shoulders. His hair was messy from fingers running through it, lips slightly chapped as well. You wished you could push away the loose strands from his forehead. 

“I know you’re staring.” Nikolai sounded tired, but there was still a hint of jest in his voice. You took a step forward. 

“Sorry. Lost in thought.” More papers, which had been forgotten in your hands, found their way in front of the king as you adjusted the mess on the long table. 

“So, what’s the consensus?” he asked, straightening his back with a satisfied sigh

A small smile found its way to your lips. “What?” 

“Am I still as devilishly handsome now that I’m to be King, or was a daring privateer a better look for me?” He faced you head on, a humorously quizzical look across his face. 

Chuckling, you pretended to study his features. You followed the lines of his strong nose and plush lips all the way to his collar bone peaking out of an unbuttoned undershirt. His brow tightened in anticipation of your answer. Honestly, he never looked more beautiful to you than right now; but he couldn’t know that. “Definitely the privateer, I’m afraid.

“Well damn.” 

Smiling again, your hands searched for something to do. As if second nature, you began piling up loose papers, and rolling maps back up. Your eyes followed paths across the country side and the borderline unreadable footnotes along the edges. Pausing, you ran your fingers along a dashed line going north. It was done in pencil rather than the professional inking of the map.  It was the path Alina and Mal had taken to look for the firebird with Baghra. Worry ran through you as you thought of your friends. 

“They’ll be okay.” You hadn’t noticed Nikolai come up beside you. He placed a hand on your shoulder, fingers gripping tightly to the wool of your coat. You could almost feel the warmth of his skin through the thick fabric. 

“I know they will be.” you sighed, leaning your head back. “it’s what happens after.” 

He hummed in confusion.

“We’ll be going to battle.” 

“And when have I known you to be afraid of a fight?” His voice was still teasing, much to jovial for your liking. 

“When the fight has stakes like these, Nikolai.” you snapped at him. You turned fast, his hand dropping from your shoulder. “This isn’t some slavers ship or enemy club. This is us, against Grisha; powerful Grisha. The odds are stacked against us here.” 

“Don’t you think I know that.” he wasn’t yelling, but his voice was stern, commanding. “You think I don’t know all that we are risking here?”

“I know you know.” You ran your fingers through your hair angrily “It doesn’t change the fact that the possibility of us failing is greater than winning.” You pressed your palms against your brow “I could die” your hands slammed into your chest, then into his “You could die.”

“I won’t let that happen.” his voice was firm with resolve  

“You can’t control that.” 

He laughed coldly “Have you no faith in me?” 

“On the contrary, I have too much faith in you.” 

You roughly sat down in an empty chair, hiding your face in your hands. Faith, devotion, pride; these were all things you felt for Nikolai. You would do whatever he asked, you trusted Nikolai with your life. 

“I have followed you to the ends of the earth, and I would gladly do it again. You’ve been there through thick and thin, but it doesn't change that fact that I’m still afraid.” You looked up to see he had leaned against the table beside you, eyes on yours. Your voice was quiet, wavering with emotion. “I have too much to lose.” 

Nikolai’s voice was heavy and low, as though saying it too loud was a sin. 

“We all have something to lose.”  His hand found yours, still not looking away from your gaze. A pang of nervous excitement filled you as you stared into his eyes. A small smile couldn't help but find its way to your lips. You could almost get high off of this giddiness Nikolai was making you feel. It was making you bold. 

You stood up slowly, still holding onto Nikolai’s hand. The other gently cupped the side of his face. The slight prick of a day’s stubble brushed against your palm as he leaned into your touch. 

“If something is to happen to us… and we fall” you whispered, your face growing closer to his “ I want it to be with no regrets.” 

It was Nikolai who crossed the final stretch to meet your lips. The kiss was not long and almost timid. Still, his chapped lips felt like heaven against yours as you pulled away. Eyes closed, you pressed your forehead against his, warm breath fanning over your face. You could feel the energy buzzing between you.

“I am yours, Nikolai.” 

He groaned, dropping his head to nuzzle into your neck. 

“You shouldn’t say that.” His voice was low, spoken against your skin 

“I speak nothing but the truth.” Your hand found itself on the back of his head, running through the shorter hair “I am yours, Nikolai. I have been for a while.”  

One arm circled your waist. “Your words are dangerous, little minx.”

The next kiss from Nikolai was not so timid. It was deeper, the hand on your cheek almost pulling you closer. His lips met against yours again and again, the taste intoxicating. You gripped onto his hair as he stood. Walking back with long steps, you slammed into the wall as Nikolai pressed himself to you. 

There was a crazed atmosphere about the both of you; a boldness. The excitement of this finally happening mixed with your looming situation left only desperation. Any type of suave was gone. You needed him, and you needed him now. 

For how frantic Nikolai’s hands were moving, his tongue was gentle as it ran along your lower lip, almost asking for permission. You let him in without a second thought, groaning. The chill of the stone wall was a stark contrast against the heat of his body against your. As you pushed yourself farthing into him, you felt something hard pressed against your thigh. Swiftly, Nikolai untucked your shirt, hands roaming along the newly exposed skin of your waist.

Nikolai’s lips began to move along your jaw in wet, open mouthed kisses. Moaning into your skin, you pushed his head closer to you. Hurried fingers found their way to the buttons of Nickolai’s shirt, messily undoing the first few. 

“Wait. Stop.” he was out of breath, hands gently grabbing yours. Still, he continued to press kisses to your skin. “Not here.” 

He looked down at you with lust filled eyes, puffy lips shining as he smiled. A bolt of heat went straight to your core. 

Leading you by your hands, he quickly blew out any remaining candles. You thanked every saint you could think of for the empty halls as you hurried to Nikolai’s quarter. You both giggled as he fumbled with the door, hands still intertwined. Anticipation buzzed in the air around you.

His room was dark when you entered with only the cool moon for light. Nikolai entered first, leaning into you to pull the door closed behind you. It had the same effect as the candle light, highlighting his already prominent features. You both quickly kicked your shoes off, Nikolai throwing his overcoat to the floor.  

“Now, where were we?” 

If not for how badly you wanted him, you would have laughed at how insufferable Nikolai sounded. You settled for a smile as your hands went to his jaw. Your kiss was not quite as frantic as before, but just as deep. His hands rested on your waist as you pulled his face closer to yours. Your noses bumped together while you slowly walked him back to the bed. You wasted no time crawling onto his lap once he sat, lips never leaving his. Hands traveled the expanse of your back as you nibbled on his lower lip, pulling deep groans from him. Continuing to unbutton the rest of his shirt, your mouth found its place against his neck, sucking dark marks into the pale flesh. Unable to stop yourself, you ground down into Nikolai’s hips, lightly biting into his skin. Groaning, his hips bucked into yours, sending a delicious tension to your core. 

You finished on his buttons, slipping off his suspender and pulling his shirt back. 

In all your years together, you had seen Nikolai shirtless before, but there was something different about it this time. You traced the strong lines of his chest, and ran your fingers up his sides, enjoying the shivers that followed your touch. His hands gripped onto the loose shirt bunched around waist, blue eyes boring into yours. 

“May I?” you nodded. He pressed a quick kiss to your lips before pulling the shirt over your head. While you were still in your undershirt, the thin fabric did little to hide your form. Lips finding yours, his large hands palmed your chest, nipples pebbling under his touch. You moaned into his mouth, body on fire.  Whether it was a bolt of courage, or the need to have Nikolai’s skin on yours, you pulled off the slip. 

He moved his hands so they were resting just under your chest, rough fingers rubbing lightly over soft skin. Your breath caught in your throat as you watched him watch you, eyes trailing over your form. 

“Beautiful.” he whispered, eyes now on yours once again, “Perfect.” 

He began his assault on your neck again, following your collarbone to your breasts. He took one into his mouth, lapping over the bud. You moaned, your body keening forward into his touch. His hands supporting your back, Nikolai’s deep blue eyes kept contact with yours. He released with a pop, instantly moving to the other. As he continued, you ground down onto him, needing to find a release to the pressure building between you legs. One of the hands you had buried in his hair trailed down the waistline of his pants. Experimentally, you cupped the growing bulge, palming him. He instantly stopped what he was doing, burying his face between your breasts. 

“Saints, don’t stop.” He all but moaned into your skin, breathing heavily. You didn’t, pushing him down by his shoulders until he lay on his back, you overtop of him. 

“Gods, I want you.'' By now his blue eyes were completely blown out by lust, lips still shining. “I want all of you.”

To his protests, you did stop, moving up till you were over his head. You kissed him and he leaned up, chasing your lips when you pulled away. 

“As I said before, I’m yours to take”  

In a blur, you found your back hitting the soft mattress of the bed, Nikolai over you. His weight was being held up by one hand while the other was down at the button of your pants. He ran over the skin of your stomach, both in a teasing and hesitant manner. He would not go further just yet. 

You squirmed at his touch in anticipation “Please, Nikolai.”

“Please what?” his hand was now in your undergarments, but still not where you needed him 

“Please” you whined “touch me.” 

It felt like fire when he finally touched you, running his fingers along your slit. You both groaned. 

“Fuck” he was speaking almost to himself “Saints, you're so wet.”  

His fingers ran along your folds, and his thumb found purchase on your clit. You mewled, hips bucking into his hand.

Nikolai huffed in an almost laugh, “Eager, are we?”

He continued in tight, slow circles, drawing more sounds from your open mouth. You moaned at the pleasant stretch of a finger, heels digging into the bed. 

“You said you are mine, but that is simply not true.” you looked up at him with blown out eyes, pleasure coursing through your veins. 

“What do you…” you stopped, choking on a moan as he added another finger. It was like your nerves were on fire, and his touch was doing nothing to stop the heat. 

“You may think you are mine, but you're wrong.” he quickened his pace “I have been yours much longer than you have been mine.”

His words resonated in you, adding more fuel the fire.

Your fingers gripped onto the sheets, as if letting go would mean your death. The tension in your lower belly was now turning into a tight coil. Your pants now sat around your thighs, which were uncontrollably bucking up into his hand. Nikolai leaned forwards and took one of your breasts into his mouth, lewd sucking noises filling the air, along with your moans. 

“Please.” you wailed. The coil was now dangerously close to breaking, the tension almost too much “I need to…Please!” 

His lips left sloppy kisses against your skin, trailing up to your face. 

“Let go, love.” you wailed at his words “Let go for me.” 

With one final thrust into his hand, the coil snapped. Your vision darkened, pleasure taking over all of your senses. It was the most intense feeling you had ever observed. It pulsed throughout your body and into your core.

Your legs were shaking. That was the first thing you realized as you came too. The second was the wetness on your thighs. The final was the hand gently brushing over your face. Nikolai was cooing at you, pressing kisses lightly against your cheek. 

“You alright, my love?” he spoke in whispers, and you realized how out of breath you were. Instead of answering, you smashed your lips against his is a messy kiss, trying to convey your love for him into one simple action. All tongue and teeth, you finally broke apart to catch a full breath, resting against your forehead against his neck. 

“I need you, Nikolai.” you looked up at him “I need all of you.” 

The second he stood, you instantly missed his weight over yours. You sat, almost chasing him, but stopped when you saw he was undoing his pants. Shimmering yours the rest of the way down your legs, you laid back and waited. 

He was hard, almost painfully so, you would have guessed. Tip red and angry, it almost pulsed with need. A quick flash of guilt crossed you. You wondered how long he was like this while you were in the grasps of pleasure.

Moving back overtop of you, he ran his member through your folds, collecting slick. You moaned at the sensation, your heaving chest meeting Nikolai’s.

 You thought nothing could feel better than his fingers, but you were wrong. He created the most delightful stretch as he entered your heat. Nikolai groaned as he bottomed out, eyes screwed shut in pure pleasure, muscles tense in control.

He started with slow, yet deep strokes, hitting a spot that made your toes curl. Hands cradled his face. You shared breaths, his nose pressed into your cheek as his lips danced over yours. 

You both whispered words to each other, mostly only half finished thoughts lost in moans. Your legs wrapped around his hips, trying to keep him close as his thrusts began to speed up. The tension began to form again. His head dropped to your neck letting out smaller moans and whines into your skin.

Your hands rested on his back, skin clammy from sweat. His damp hair tickled you, but you didn’t mind as one hand dug into it, pulling slightly. His skin was fiery against yours, and yet you still tried to push as much of yourself against him as possible. One of his hands traveled down to your core, thumb messily rubbing over your clit once more. The small mewls you were making turned into choked wails as the coil tightened almost unbearably. 

Nikolai’s strokes were turning sloppy against you, going as deep and as fast as possible, hitting that perfect spot every time. It was a particular strong stroke that sent you over the edge yet again. 

You came, calling out his name as you raked your nails down his back. With one final thrust into your spasming core, he finished, groaning into your neck.  A new kind of warmth flooded your system. You were spent in the best way possible, body tired and thighs slick. The only sound that filled the air was heavy breathing as Nikolai looked up from your neck. He pulled out slowly and you both groaned at the sensation, but the loss of connection as well. You registered that he left, but came back very shortly, towel in hand.

After cleaning yourselves up, Nikolai pulled you close to his chest, arms wrapped tightly around you. He caressed your face, pushing back hair sticking with sweat. 

If you thought he was pretty an hours ago, he was gorgeous now. Messy hair stood in different direction and a nice flush covered his cheeks. Dark love bites littered his upper body, and his lips were almost bruised. You were sure you looked similar.

“I meant what I said” he whispered, smile on his face “I am yours, my darling” 

You leaned up and caught his lips. The kiss was tired, both of you energy gone.

“I love you” you grinned into his lips 

“And I love you.” 

#shadow and bone smut #shadow and bone fanfiction #nikolai lanstov x reader #nikolai lantsov smut #fanfiction #smut #slight angst #fools in love #shadow and bone netflix #shadow and bone #nikolai lanstov #fem reader

[fitzsimp]

there’s honestly nothing i love more than finishing a tv show/movie/book with an established fandom and getting to read the insane amount of fics it has

like i’ve just finished watching shadow and bone and i am being FED

#shadow and bone #six of crows #leigh bardugo #ao3 #archive of our own #fanfiction #alina starkov #mal oretsev #the darkling #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #nina zenik #matthias helvar #nikolai lantsov #zoya nazyanelsky #genya safin #wesper #kanej #helnik

[euphoniumpets]

Climbing over the wall | Nikolai Lantsov x reader

Summary: You haven't met your bethroted yet and from what you've been knowing by your overthinking, you didn't waste a second to come up with an escape plan that didn't go that well.

Requested? Yes by @lexilulove: Love your writing and excited requests are open!! I saw this on insta the other day and now I want nothing more than a Nikolai based around this idea. With Nikolai’s love interest constantly sneaking away during events and parties. Dealer’s choice if it’s an established relationship of it Nikolai charms the shy girl and the relationship grows.

A/N: ngl, took this inspiration from queen charlotte at the attempt of climbing the wall while george is behind her like ??? and that got me thinking about y/n and nik.

Warnings: painfully longing eyes behind Nik and the reader.

The king was late.

And you were growing nervous and thought of every possible way to escape the room.

You didn't enjoyed parties, in fact, you hated them. You didn't like to be the center of attention and it was even worse when you haven't met your bethroted yet.

You was a child from a duke and your father wanted you to marry since he worried of you that you would end up alone knowing that you were too shy to even make social intercation. You had been like that ever since you was a child and when your mother had passed away. Always so quiet and enjoyed your own company.

So, when the rumor had spoken that the king of Ravka was looking for a wife to marry, let alone to rule a whole country, your father had suggested you to him.

You had been hesitant but you wanted to please your father and said yes to the arranged marrige. You haven't met the king personally, but from what you've been told by the maidens and by Genya, Zoya, and Alina, that he's kind and handsome.

You've heard some stories and the rumors about the youngest prince that he was a bastard, but you didn't care that he was one. All you cared that if he was going to treat you right as a husband.

Genya and Zoya had invited everyone to the ball to celebrate your marriage and of course, Nikolai himself was late. Zoya had already gone off to scold Nikolai for being late while Genya was somewhere in the room with Alina, leaving you all alone full with nerves.

You scanned the room and saw an opportunity to escape the ball while nobody was noticing that you were gone. You placed your glass of champange down as everybody continued to chat with each other and the music played loud enough that nobody saw you slipping away.

You walked through the gardens but stopped when you saw a wall in front of you. You huffed with annoyance as you knew that you had to climb the wall over.

But you knew that it would be a struggle because of your dress that Zoya had picked for you and she would kill you for destroying the dress. ''Ah, what the hell,'' You muttered to yourself as you embraced that Zoya will kill you for ruining the dress.

You grabbed one of the branches from the tree on the wall and tried to climb up. Upon hearing, you heard footsteps from behind. ''Milady, do you need help of an assistance of some kind?'' You heard a male voice coming from behind you.

''I am, uh, quite fine, thank you,'' You spoke and didn't look behind and tried to figure out a way to climb up higher. ''You can go back inside and wait with all the other gwakes, '' You dismissed and didn't think much of it since you thought it was one of the maidens that had found you.

''I will, but first, I'm curious, what are you doing?''

''Nothing,'' You spoke and huffed.

''You're doing something,'' The man replied with a deadpanned look.

''I am not,'' You spoke. ''You are,''

''I am not,'' You argued and let out a sigh and looked at the tree in front of you. ''If you must know, I'm trying to ascertian the best way to climb over the garden wall,'' You responded and gestured toward the tree.

''Climb? Whatever for?''

''Because I think he may be a beast,'' You replied and placed your hands over your hips. ''A beast?''

''Or a troll,'' You responded. ''A troll?'' The man replied with an offended expression.

''Who are we discussing?'' The man asked. ''Oh, that is impertinent, none of your buisness,'' You replied and glanced back at him before looking around.

''The king,'' You answered after a short silence. ''From what I've heard: that he's handsome, kind, but some people won't even speak of him,'' You informed.

''And that makes you think that the king is a troll or a beast?'' The man asked. ''Well, I haven't seen him yet,'' You answered. ''And I'm overthinking things,'' You spoke.

''Ah, understood,'' He replied. ''You know, if I grab there,'' You said and pointed toward the garden wall. ''Perhaps you could assist me by lifting up,'' You told him and began to climb again.

''Uh, one question, you do not like beast or trolls? What he looks like matters?'' He asked you.

''I do not care what he looks like, what I do not like is not knowing, now, here, just take a hold here with a lift, I believe that I can make it over the garden wall,'' You said and went back to the garden wall and gestured him to help you.

''You want me to lift you over the wall so you may can escape?''

''That is what I said, yes,'' You replied and rolled your eyes. ''People will notice you are missing will they not?''

''Oh, please, they won't,'' You assured him and waved him off. ''Now, if you please, I just need a little help, come, make haste,''

''I have no absolutely no intention of helping you,'' He responded, making you pause before turning to him. ''I am in lady in distress, you refuse to help a lady in distress?'' You asked him with an offended expression.

''I refuse when that lady in distress is trying to go over the wall so that she does not want to marry me,'' He replied making you look at him with wide eyes and shock. Nikolai only found it amusing when he saw the reaction in your face.

''Hello, Y/n,'' He greeted you with a smile. ''I'm Nikolai,'' He introduced himself and you looked at him. ''Please accept my apology, if I had known that you were you...''

''You would have what?'' Nikolai interrupted you. ''Not told me that you were trying to escape?'' He asked with an amusing expression.

''Well, yes, I mean, I do apologize, moi tsar,'' You spoke quietly and looked down at the ground.

''Just call me Nik,'' Nikolai responded and looked at you with a kind smile. ''The king situation, it towers over us, accident of birth on my part, but I thought maybe perhaps, as my wife, you could ignore it, and I could be just Nik to you,'' He spoke.

''That was of course, before I found out that you do not want to be married to me,''

''I did not say that,'' You looked at him with an offended expression.

''Oh you did,'' He responded. ''I did not,'' You argued. ''You did!''

''It is not,'' You argued and paused. ''I do not know you,'' You replied and sighed. ''I do not know you either, except that you are terrible at climbing a wall,'' Nikolai teased and you saw the smile in the corner of his lips.

''You try climbing a wall in all of this,'' You gestured towards your dress that now was ruined for the ball and huffed at him.

''I was told that you were late,'' You replied and looked at him. ''Yes, my apologies for that, king duties you know,'' Nikolai informed and you nodded slightly.

''There you are!'' You heard Zoya's voice exclaim from behind as the two of you turned around. ''What have you done to your dress!'' You heard Zoya exclaim angirly. ''Zoya, calm down,'' You replied.

''She was trying to climb over the wall,'' Nikolai responded and you looked at him with a glare.

''Over the wall?'' Zoya questioned with a confused look. ''That's is not important, now we have to change you into a new dress,'' Zoya grunted with annoyance and dragged you from Nikolai.

''You will pay for this,'' You mouthed over to him as he looked back at you with a smile as Zoya dragged you away.

#nikolai lantsov #nikolai lantsov x reader #shadow and bone #nikolai lantsov x reader smut #nikolai lantsov fanfiction #shadow and bone x reader

[exyzedd]

;)

#trending #3am things #memes #kaz x inej #kaz brekker #sankta inej #soc inej #inej ghafa #kanej fic #kanej fanfiction #kanej #nikolai x zoya #nikolai lantsov #zoya nazyanelsky #zoyalai #six of crows jesper #six of crows #crooked kingdom #wesper #wylan van sunshine #wylan van eck #soc wylan #wylan x jesper #soc jesper #jesper fahey #ketterdam #nina zenik #s&b show #darklina #the darkling

[luvfy0dor]

“There Is No Other Love, It's Only Yours ♡⁠˖” BSD Men x GN!Reader ੈ✩‧₊˚

╰┈➤ Dazai Osamu, Chuuya Nakahara, Fyodor Dostoevsky, Nikolai Gogol

Warnings; Maybe ooc, barely proofread

Description; how the bsd men say ‘i love you’ without actually saying it (sigma does actually say it but that's besides the point)

A/n; Next fic post will be a request! Sorry they're taking me so long : ( this is a new style of writing for me and it's really short, but I figured I'd give it a shot. It might be a little whack though because I'm real tired rn I took an hour long nap before writing Sigmas

Dazai says ‘i love you’ best through physical touch and small gestures of the sort, specifically touching your hands. As soon as you're within his reach, your hand is in his and his thumb is rubbing over your knuckles affectionately. His lips brush against your knuckles when he gives excuses to Kunikida on why he can't make it today with your sleepy form right next to him on the bed. He'll press kisses to each knuckle while he listens to the blonde tell him the amount of absences and early leaves he's had in the past month and quietly sigh. He doesn't care where he is either, he's shameless it's his affection and will happily grab you by the waist or hand infront of a crowd. He loves to show you off because you're the best thing to happen to him, but if you're shy he'll tone it down to keep you comfortable.

“Ah! There you are. I've been looking for you. Give me your hand so I don't lose track of you again...ah, you got me! I did just want to hold your hand, but what's the harm?”

Chuuya shows his love through acts of service- I know a lot of people probably would assume gift giving, which he does love to do, but he finds himself commiting acts of service more frequently. Every time he notices you seem tired after work, he'll do the chores that you had accidentally forgotten, even if he's tired. He plans dates for the two of you atleast monthly, always picking a restaurant or activity he heard you mention wanting to try. He does find himself spending money when he sees things that remind him of you, but he thinks spending time with you is even better. If he takes your car somewhere, it's always coming home with a refilled gas tank. If you need to lift something heavy, he offers to use his ability to help you. He'll do your laundry whenever he notices it piling up and bring you coffee, tea, or water in the morning when you're still lingering in bed.

“Mornin' sweetheart, I got you a drink. Be careful not to spill it, s'real dark in here and opening the blinds doesn't help any...we got a date tonight, by the way. You said the new restaurant sounded good so I figured we could go tonight if you're up for it.”

Fyodor spends quality time with you. He likes to keep you nearby when he reads or works, although he prefers when you're on the quieter side during those activities. Otherwise, he's happy to talk with you for however long the two of you are content with. Usually you'll have conversations over a game of chess, which he almost always wins while you're attention is divided between talking and playing, but he's a good sport about it. He'll give you pointers on how to do better in the next game. He'll play his cello for you, too. If he finds your hobbies interesting enough he'll take part in them. If you paint he'd be more than happy to join you, chatting with you while your brushes paint images of scenery and figures on the once blank canvas. He prefers what are considered more sophisticated hobbies, but he'd watch a chick flick with you or let you teach him how to play your favorite video game if it really made you happy.

“If you're as determined to win a game as you say you are, you should probably make an attempt to put more focus into the game. I do love hearing your voice, moya lyubov, but thinking about how you're going to move your pieces and talking are counterproductive. We can try it again, or we could do something else, whatever you'd like, Myshka.”

Nikolai shows you his love primarily through flirty words and loving touches. Whenever he walks next to you, his hand is on either your lower back, hip, or in your hand. When sitting with you, he'll fiddle with your fingers and play with them harmlessly, occasionally fighting off the urge to bend them back far enough to break them. In the same heartbeat, hell bring them to his lips and press kisses to every finger tip while telling you a flirty joke. He often lays his legs across your lap or lets you lay yours over his while you play with his hair. Sometimes he'll walk up behind you and whispers a pick up line in your ear with a large grin on his face. He likes seeing your reaction and watching you squirm in embarrassment in his grasp.

“You must be an artist, my dove, because you are so good at drawing me in! Hey- you can't go anywhere just because you thought my joke was cheesy! I can find some wine to go with it if you'd like, hehe.”

Sigma shows his love through the way he trusts you. Obviously with everything he's gone through trusting people became really difficult for him, but you came along and earned that trust when you proved that you were a permanent factor in his life and wouldn't betray him. He trusted you enough to let you into the Aerial Casino and stay with him regularly in his quarters. He let his walls down around you and opened up about his origin story. He would let you get physically close to him and touch him, coming to love the feeling of your lips against his, pressed in a sweet kiss. Though he still kept his independence and a desire to not depend solely on you in fear of betrayal, you could tell that he had come a long way from the man he once was after his experiences in the DOA.

“I felt so foolish after I fell for Fyodors tricks again, but dealing with the distrust and suspicion I held towards everyone else was just as hard as the realization of messing up again...thank you for listening to me, you've helped me so much. I don't think I could ever repay you enough...I love you.”

A/n; AHHHHHHHH I'm so tired but fuck it we ball I gotta write chisme for Spanish and it's going no where I lied to my teacher and told her it was almost done it is not almost done I have barely met any of the requirements for it but I won't do it if I don't post something so

#bungo stray dogs #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd x reader #bsd fanfic #bsd headcanons #fanfic #fanfiction #bsd fyodor #fyodor x reader #fyodor bsd #bungou stray dogs fyodor #fyodor x y/n #nikolai bsd #bungou stray dogs nikolai #nikolai x reader #nikolai gogol x reader #sigma x reader #bungo stray dogs sigma #sigma bungou stray dogs #bsd sigma #bsd dazai #bungou stray dogs dazai #dazai #osamu dazai x reader #dazai x reader #bungo stray dogs chuuya #chuuya x reader #bsd chuuya #bungou stray dogs chuuya

[delusionalwriter02]

OMGGG I LOVE YOUR IG POSTS, IF YOUR NOT TOO BUSY CAN YOU DO A FYODOR ONE PLEASE!!!

Insta as Fyodor's GF

a/n : hello dear!! thank you so much for your request, hope you like it!<3

<3 liked by Fyofyo, Sig_ma and 138 others.

Yn_theoneandonly : when he's being cute

Fyofyo : This flower was even more magnificent in your hair

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : I love you angel

Golgot : And in mineeeee ????

↳ Fyofyo : Stay back clown

↳ Golgot : I AIN'T A CLOWN you polar stupid bear

↳ Fyofyo : Wouah that was SO lame

↳ Golgot : I CAN'T FIND A BETTER INSULT

↳ Fyofyo : Well, I can think of multiple ones

↳ Golgot : I want you dead SO BAD

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : stop it RIGHT NOW, you're not going to kill him and Fyo you stop insulting him

↳ Fyofyo : You're not fun, angel

Sig_ma : What type of flower is that ?

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : a poppy! when you take them, they die a few hours later

↳ Sig_ma : isn't it romantic

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : i know

<3 liked by Fyofyo, Golgot and 374 others.

Yn_theoneandonly : he's a prince

Golgot : and a great musician

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : what can't he do

↳ Golgot : love me

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : tf ??

Sig_ma : that bass is HUGE

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : like his-

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : Fyodor's here, she ain't finishing that sentence

↳ Sig_ma : hmmm hi Fyodor I guess ?

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : She ain't responding for a few hours so stop commenting

↳ Golgot : what's happening ???????????????????????????

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : I'll finish her sentence, bye

↳ Sig_ma : that was so random

<3 liked by Daze_i, Sig_ma and 382 others.

Yn_theoneandonly : hello the world, i'm back

Sig_ma : Are you alright

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : yes of course, why ?

↳ Sig_ma : Well you left, abruptly

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : oh

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : that

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : well yeah i'm ok

↳ Sig_ma : .... good to hear

↳ Golgot : to read*

↳ Sig_ma : go away

Daze_i : I want a date at the beach too

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : Go with Chuuya, Kunikida or whoever you want

↳ Daze_i : but none of them will say yes

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : yk what ? you got chemistry with way too many people, that's your problem

↳ Daze_i : for the first time ever, i'll leave and it's MY decision

↳ Fyofyo : yeah leave, far away, very far away

<3 liked by Fyofyo, Sig_ma and 248 others.

Yn_theoneandonly : love is the greatest feeling ever

Fyofyo : I love you angel, I like that photo

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : I love you too honey and yes me too, it's calming

↳ Fyofyo : I agree, night is the part of the day

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : exactly! we should go out at night more often

↳ Golgot : am i bothering you ?

↳ Fyofyo : Yes

↳ Golgot : just talk privately omg

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : just don't look at the comments

↳ Golgot : It's a SOCIAL media, I have the right to look

↳ Fyofyo : So stop complaining

↳ Golgot : I'm out

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : finally

Hello! I hope you liked it ? Thank you so much for your kind words and your request!

See you <3

#fanfic #fanfiction #bungou stray dogs #bsd #bungo stray dogs #request #bungou stray dogs dazai #x reader #female reader #fake social media #fyodor x reader #bsd fyodor #fyodor dostoevsky #fyodor dostoyevsky bsd #bungou stray dogs fyodor #nikolai gogol #fyodor bsd #fyodor x y/n #fyodor x you

[undiscovered-horizon]

Who am I to complain? - Nikolai Lantsov x Reader

[emotional and verbal abuse, unhealthy parent-child relationships]

SUMMARY: When your parents come to visit, Nikolai finally understands why you've never been keen to talk about them. Being the King and your husband, he isn't afraid to defy them.

WORDCOUNT: ~ 4.5k

>>Grishaverse-inspired playlist<<

"Have you listened to anything I've just said?"

Nikolai shakes you awake from being lost in thought. You look away from the insanely interesting skirting board you had been staring at for the past ten minutes. He’s watching you with raised eyebrows, awaiting an answer.

"I…” you hang your voice. At first, you wanted to just apologize and ask him to repeat himself but then a sense of dread sprouts in your abdomen - one you can’t quite put a finger on but it takes over your entire mind. “I'm sorry, Kolya. Please, don’t be mad at me, I’m sorry,” you plead, gradually speaking faster.

“I’m not angry,” he states firmly. “But I am growing concerned for you, love. What’s going on?”

“I just keep thinking about my parents' visit,” you confess while rubbing your forehead. “Ever since the letter arrived, I can hardly think about anything else."

"Yes, I've noticed you have been a bit absent for the past few days. I assumed you were going to talk to me when you're ready. Are you?"

"They're not bad people," you begin in a strange tone that makes Nikolai doubt your words right away, "and they've only done their best to give me a good life. Despite that, they have a tendency to bring out the parts of me I've grown to dislike." 

“Isn’t that what every family does?” he jokes in hopes of easing your visible discomfort. But his good humour is gone the moment you look away with a sombre expression stuck to your features.

Nikolai always considered himself exceptional at self-control but something about your sadness makes him gradually abandon reason. As you forlornly stare into the darkness of your shared bedroom, he’s ready to stick feathers to his clothes and pretend to be a peacock just to make you laugh.

“Love,” he calls out softly. His hand rests between your shoulder blades. “You’re the queen. If you want, we can call their visit off right away.”

“That would be a little rude, no?” you ask in a meek voice.

“It’s a lot more crude to make you cry.”

“I will be alright, really,” you reassure him. That miserable look on your face is slowly creeping away. “It’s just three days. Maybe they’ve changed or they’re a lot better than I remember. I’ll be okay.”

Nikolai is unsure whether you’re trying to convince yourself or him but he doesn’t push. Despite not believing your clumsy words of reassurance, he trusts you - he’ll step in only when things really get out of hand.

Nervousness and excitement often feel the same and one might even fool themselves into believing that the mortifying tension in their muscles is actually an impatient thrill. Today, however, you don’t even try playing a little trick on yourself. The more you think about your feelings, the more you’re convinced that it’s not even nervousness but fear. Still, you don’t quite understand why exactly your parents’ visit elicits such awful emotions from you.

The door to the throne room opens and a man in a white and gold livery steps inside. He quickly walks halfway to the dais with the throne. 

The servant bows as deep as he can and clears his throat before loudly announcing: “Presenting her most royal Highness’s, the Queen’s, mother and father.”

Only then do your parents emerge from the hall, walking hesitantly through the spacious throne room. Two guards are following them and your father spares them a confused glance every few steps. But the armed men only usher him to keep walking and not turn his back to the king until allowed to do so.

Feeling fear exploding in your chest, you grip Nikolai’s shoulder even tighter. Sitting on the throne, he has to look up to meet your eyes.

“Calm down, it’s going to be alright,” he says quietly. A reassuring smile curves his lips. “You said it yourself.”

As though he is a Heartrender himself, his words make you relax. You take a deep breath and let go of his shoulder. At that moment, Nikolai stands up to greet your parents as their son-in-law first and only then the king of Ravka.

Right then, your mother quickly runs up the few steps leading to the dais. Her face is red and a deep crease now separates her eyebrows.

“I have to wait to be announced to see my own daughter?” She’s barely containing her outrage. “Nonsense!”

“I’m royalty now, mother,” you explain calmly. Your voice almost doesn’t shake.

“And I’m still your mother, the one that gave birth to you. Do I not get any benefits from that?”

Maybe some people don’t actually change.

“I’m afraid you don’t.”

“Is this gold?!” your father exclaims in shock as his hand reaches for your heavy necklace. “So because of you most of Ravka is starving?”

Too occupied with the jewellery, your parents don’t notice the palace guards stepping forward to arrest them for such an accusation aimed at the queen. Nikolai spares them a meaningful look, waving them off. In his heart, he agrees with them.

“Actually, this is a gift from a businessman in Kerch,” you say quietly. Suddenly, you remember why you’ve never visited them since your wedding.

“Still, don’t you think this is a little distasteful?”

Your mother places her hand on your father’s shoulder. “She’s always been vain, darling,” she reminds him.

You’re not a queen anymore - at least you don’t feel like it. All of the gold, silk and jewels are gone and you’re back to being a scared, little girl with hay stuck in her hair. Tears sting your eyes.

Whatever you do is wrong. All of your efforts are underwhelming. Maybe they’d be happier if you weren’t there.

"You're crying?” your father asks with a hint of disgust in his voice. “Oh, don't be so sensitive, you know we’re only joking!” He’s still holding your necklace in his fingers, admiring the glistening crystals. Standing so close to you, he lowers his voice significantly to appear inconspicuous but Nikolai manages to pick up his calloused words. “Pull yourself together, this is embarrassing.”

As she usually does, your mother brings the attention back to herself. “She can be a bit much at times, so I hope you’re a patient one!”

The guards exchange questioning looks, silently asking one another if they should intervene this time. Most of the time they follow Tolya and Tamar’s steps but they’re left to their own devices on this day as Nikolai ordered the twins to take a day off. Perhaps it’s for the best - they’d surely escalate this already uncomfortable situation but it’s only because they care.

“I’d say it’s quite the opposite,” Nikolai answers, unaffected. Despite his speaking to your mother, he’s looking into your eyes. “I can never get enough of her.”

“For most of her life, I thought she’d never get married!” your mother continues. She’s gripping your arm with much more strength than her appearance suggests. “Men don’t like them independent, stubborn and opinionated.”

Nikolai’s polite smile doesn’t falter. “Three qualities of an excellent Queen.”

Your mother laughs obnoxiously. “Just wait a few years, dear.” She pats his shoulder. The guards look between themselves again. “You’ll be quick to send her off just like we were!”

Both of your parents laugh wholeheartedly while you and Nikolai exchange knowing looks. Now he understands why you have been so uneasy lately. This is going to be the longest three days of his life.

The perplexity continues as your mother suddenly places her hands around your waist, examining your torso in great detail. A sour expression forms on her face.

“Oh, honey, you’ve let yourself go,” she says in a worried tone. Her eyes trail the curve of your physique up until she looks at your face. With a serious glint in her eye, she advises you under her breath: “You can’t get fat and slobby if you want to keep the king.” 

The man who announced your parents appears again but this time he walks all the way to the stairs leading up to the throne, although doesn’t dare climb them. His facial expression borders on emotionless and serious as though he’s more of a marble statue rather than a servant.

“Your most royal Highness.” The man bows deeply. “The room is prepared.”

“Excellent.” Nikolai uses the opportunity to cut the awkward conversation short in a diplomatic way. “Escort our guests to their chamber.” 

“Right away, мой царь.”

When the butler disappears around the corner with your parents apprehensively following him, Nikolai looks at you with a grim expression. 

“Are they usually like this?” he asks, disapproval hiding between his words.

“They’re worse at home,” you answer with a shrug. A lot of terrible feelings and thoughts you were convinced you had left behind are coming back and you’re unsure how to handle that.

“You’ve put up with this kind of disrespect for your whole life?”

“It’s not disrespect, just…” you hang your voice looking for the right expression, “tough love. They don’t mean any harm.”

“Don’t mean any harm?” he repeats in disbelief. “They’ve been here for fifteen minutes and they are yet to say something nice to you. Neither of them even asked whether you’re doing alright.”

A short, troubled sigh leaves your lips. Your fingers trail the golden embroidery decorating his kaftan. “I’m married to a dashing, handsome king and live in a palace. I think they know I’m doing well.”

His hand gently grabs yours, keeping it against his chest. “As much I like flattery, especially coming from you, you can’t pull wool over my eyes, love. It’s not a matter of knowing but principle. Remember our wedding? The guests kept asking how you’re doing so much, you kept saying you’re perfectly fine before they even got a chance to ask.”

The memory elicits a chuckle from you. Yes, everyone seemed to be preoccupied with making sure you were happy and satisfied. It came to such a point, you yelled at Nikolai’s cousin ‘Yes, I’m fine!’ before she gave you a weird look and asked if you wanted some vodka mixed with your champagne. Truly, the only royal thing about Marina is her ungodly fortune but maybe that’s why you’ve grown to like her a lot - she’s down to earth and easy-going.

Nikolai squeezes your hand in a gentle, reassuring manner. “Just say the word and I will personally throw them out.”

“Kolya!” You gasp at his offer but it quickly turns into laughter. “They’re my parents and your in-laws!”

“They also refuse to show care and respect towards my beloved Queen.”

That mellow, loving look in his eyes nullifies any annoyance you might feel at his stubbornness. You pull your hand out of his grasp and place it on the side of his face. Consciously or not, he slightly leans into your touch. “I appreciate your concern.” Not minding the guards in the room, you’ve grown used to their constant presence, you peck his lips shortly. “But they have just arrived. You’ll warm up to them.”

Nikolai doesn’t answer at first. He only reconnects your lips, kissing you deeper, more desperately. When you feel his hands coming up to your waist, you lean away from him. For a moment, you swear you can see a grimace of dissatisfaction on his face.

“Be decent,” you reprimand him but the wide smile you wear so well rids your words of all seriousness.

“You started this.”

“And I will finish if you play nice.”

Nikolai takes a rather long step back, away from you,  just to make a point. He’s standing with his hands behind his back, an excited grin on his face. “You make an exquisite diplomat, you know that?”

“I learned from the best.”

The time for dinner came faster than you wanted it to. Anxiety bubbled inside your chest again. Still, you continued trying to soap up your eyes with thoughts that maybe when they sit across the table from a king, they’re going to withdraw their little jabs at you. As they say: Hope is the mother of all fools. And you’re about to learn that.

Nikolai raises his cup with wine. “A toast to our beloved Queen,” he announces in an official tone. Out of the corner of his eye, he spares you an adoring look. “Without her, I’d be a lonely, perplexed king. May we not know the world without her.”

To your horror, your father decides to join him. “May she get a grip and come to her senses.”

The dry wine tastes even more bitter as you take what’s supposed to be a celebratory sip. What if he’s right about you? It’s only the beginning of the evening and you already wish you can miraculously vanish or, worst case scenario, just run away. 

You’re about to take a bite of the roasted pheasant on your plate when your mother looks at you with raised eyebrows. She points her fork between you and the plate. “Should you really be eating all of this?” 

You don’t answer her. Whatever you say will only egg her on. Get a grip, you scold yourself and clench your fist to push fingernails into the sensitive skin of your palm. The pain is distracting, grounding.

 "You know, sweetheart, you're not getting any younger,” your mother continues. She always does that - throwing poignancies one after another and seeing what sticks. Now, when she’s literally the mother of the queen, she’s even bolder than before.

“Mother-”

“Don’t interrupt me.” She points her knife at you. “All I’m saying is as a wife, especially the queen, you have only one duty and you shouldn’t wait with it. Things will only get more difficult as you age.”

Nikolai gives your mother a bright smile. “Have no worries,” he cuts in. “We’re not waiting.”

You almost drop your fork. Flustering people is definitely one of his strategies but must he really involve your sex life in his word games? Although mortified at his bluntness, you must admit it works - your mother’s face is about the same shade as the roasted tomatoes on her plate. She casts her eyes downwards, poking at the food in front of her.

The air is filled with awkward tension but Nikolai doesn’t seem to mind in. In fact, he looks quite proud of himself. You, on the other hand, aren’t as good at putting up a believable front.

“So,” you begin in hopes of easing the atmosphere”, how are things back in…” You hang your voice. You were about to say ‘home’, only to realize that it would be an honest lie. The little town where you grew up hasn’t been home in years. “...Tamboyevka?”

“Oh, you know,” your mother says as she makes a dismissive wave with her hand. “Same old, same old. Cattle and field, nothing interesting to someone of your sort, I presume! There’s never been much use of you anyway.”

Listening to your mother’s condescending words, you push your fingernails further into the skin of your hand to distract yourself from the feeling of shame that continues to grow inside your stomach and pull you down with it. Maybe the marble floor will swallow you whole in the next few minutes and all of this will be over.

Then you feel Nikolai’s warm hand sneak between your palms, breaking up your painful distraction. He leans towards you ever so slightly and whispers:

“I’d much rather you pinch and scratch my hand than hurt yourself.”

You look at his concerned face. Words of reassurance, ‘Don’t worry, I’m alright’, nearly push past your lips when your father chimes in, continuing the conversation.

“But your brother, he bought some land down south,” he announces with excitement.

“More land?” you ask. “Ha barely manages with what he already has.”

The memory of your brother’s tired, grey face flashes before your eyes. Every time you see him, he looks even sicker than before as though he never sleeps or eats, only works in the field. He even collapsed on one July day and your parents kept saying that this is a sign of an honest, hard-working man but you weren’t as quick to call a man throwing up everything he eats ‘healthy’.

“You know how he is, always helping others.” Your mother is beaming with pride as if she’s the one doing the farming. “His crops feed two villages and it’s not nearly enough for him! Said he wanted tomatoes and citruses.”

Then it hits you. It’s not a revelation in any way but rather something you don’t think about too often - most of Ravka doesn’t get fruits in winter, especially the ones growing in warmer climates near the Shu Han border. And you not only can easily get it even when snow covers the grassy fields but you’re essentially fed it. Like that one time, you shared a tangerine with Nikolai while sitting in front of a fire, talking about unimportant things.

Despite your mother sitting right in front of you, her voice echoed in your head as though she’s a phantom haunting your thoughts and not a real person: Selfish. Spoiled. Entitled. Ungrateful. People starve because of you.

You focus on Nikolai’s warm, rough hand that’s still holding your own. The pleasant sensation is gradually grounding you, pulling you out of your head and into the present moment.

“What for?” you ask as casually as you can, not giving in to the spiralling thoughts. It still feels like you’re underwater, desperately gasping for air as your lungs burn. Squeezing Nikolai’s hand, you break the surface of the vicious tides trying to drown you in panic and shame.

Your mother, on the other hand, appears completely oblivious to your plight. “Some child told him they’d like oranges and he couldn’t say no. He’s wonderful, truly. A living Saint! What a blessing to call him my son. You should take a serious cue from him, young lady.” She waves the tip of her knife in your direction again. “But enough about your brother. What do you do when you’re not wasting time? Lay around and smell nice?”

“Well,” you swallow nervously, already knowing that she won’t be satisfied with your answer, “I meet a lot of people, take correspondence, travel across the country or read if I find the time.”

Nikolai must notice the telling crease of disappointment between your mother’s eyebrows. He joins the conversation under a skilful facade of a proud, boasting husband. “Don’t sell yourself short, love. Our Queen,” he puts strange stress on the title, “has started a scholarship for disadvantaged children, takes the time to teach young girls sewing, foreign languages and arithmetic.”

“That’s quite useless, isn’t it?” your mother looks between you and your father, not acknowledging Nikolai’s presence. She keeps stabbing the roasted pheasant on her plate with a fork as though there’s still life inside the poor poultry. “Shouldn’t you try harder?” she hisses at you. “If you continue being this lazy, the whole kingdom will fall apart! What will our neighbours say then?”

Nikolai suddenly gets up. He’s still holding your hand but you can’t be sure whether he’s doing that on purpose or if it’s just an unconscious reflex. The candlelight from the crystal chandelier cascades off his face, pronouncing the clenched muscles of his jaw - he’s angry and barely holding it in.

“Our meeting at this table is adjourned,” he announces in a firm voice. “This is beyond unacceptable. I have overlooked your transgressions simply because of your affinity to my wife. Still, I am disheartened and disappointed with the way you address your queen in her own home. The guards will escort you back to your chambers.”

You hear your mother and father trying to argue and protest, saying something about you being ‘too proud’ and ‘forgetting your place’ but you’re so dumbfounded you can’t make out the details. The guards lead them out of the dining room through one of the tall pairs of doors. When they close behind them, everything goes silent - the brick walls muffle any turmoil your parents might be causing.

Suddenly, your throat constricts. It’s hard to take a breath. Has it always been so hot in here? The tips of your fingers tingle, blood never reaching them.

He threw them out and you didn’t say anything. If they didn’t hate you before, they surely do now. You’re a disappointment, not their child. They haven’t done anything wrong, after all. You’re no good, useless, ungrateful, dramatic.

Suffocating with panic, you run out of the room through a different pair of doors, across the dining hall from the ones behind which your parents had recently disappeared. You hear Nikolai’s footsteps behind you but they are muffled by the noise of bloodflow ringing in your ears.

“Hey, talk to me,” he calls out in a soft voice. You turn around to look at him. His hand is almost at the height of your shoulder but it momentarily drops as though he just backed out from touching you. “What’s going on?”

For a man as smart as him, that’s a really stupid question.

“Why did you do that, Nikolai?” you snap at him.

His eyebrows furrow slightly. A gasp of disbelief brushes past his lips - he clearly thought the two of you were on the same page. “They were insulting you over and over again. I couldn’t just sit and listen to that.”

Truly, you should have expected that. He’s been adamant about standing up to your parents from the very beginning. Still, you’re angry that he just had to be stubborn and do the one thing you explicitly asked him not to do.

“What happened to laugh at insults? Isn’t that your own advice?”

“It is.” Nikolai finally finds it in himself to place his hands on your shoulders. “But I found myself unable to remain collected when the bitter words were aimed at you.” His palms brush against your dress and the skin of your neck until they’re cradling your face.

“I can,” you state firmly. “You should have let me handle this, I’m used to this.”

You escape his loving grasp and he lets you. Walking forward away from him, you’re not quite sure where exactly you’re heading. ‘Away’ would be a lovely direction but quite impossible when you’re confined to those four walls of marble and gold.

“You shouldn’t be,” Nikolai calls out after you.

Suddenly, you halt. You look at him around your shoulder. “What?”

“You shouldn’t be used to being treated like this,” he says in a defeated tone while walking towards you again. “They just keep putting you down, humiliating you. You’re not even slightly upset about that?”

“Of course, I am but…” you hang your voice, finally questioning your own feelings towards your parents. “It’s unfair for me to be angry with them. Ungrateful. I never went hungry or cold. They gave me medication when I was sick and made sure I went to school. Every year they’d give me something for my birthday. Neither of them has ever raised their hand against me. They’ve done all they could to give me a good life. Who am I to complain?”

“You’re the Queen,” he drones the word. His hand holds the side of your face again, thumb lovingly brushing your cheek. “People say your name in the same breath as the names of all the Saints. When I don’t know what to do or what decision to make, I always ask myself what you would do. And I’ve never once regretted that. There are important people who have agreed to my invitation only after hearing that you’ll be there too. You change everything. So you get to be angry when someone refuses to see that. I know you can take a few mean words but I don’t want you to.”

For a moment, the two of you stand in comfortable, intimate silence. Your absent gaze is stuck to the floor as you’re pondering his words. Whenever you’re about to accept that maybe, just maybe, you’re doing something good and important, the voice of your mother echoes inside your head: ‘Vain’. But Nikolai wouldn’t lie to you, would he? At least not in those circumstances.

“Can you keep a secret?” he speaks up quietly, bringing your attention back to him.

“Don’t tell me you put a wild racoon in my parent’s bedroom,” you joke, surprising yourself at your newly-found humour.

He scrunches his nose. “Alright, can you keep two secrets?” The echo of the empty halls carries your bright laughter. “To be honest, I wanted to marry you the moment you argued with me about stealing that merchant frigate in Kerch.”

“I could tell,” you answer with a slow nod. “You had a really stupid look on your face, all dazed and absent. In fact, you wore the same one on our wedding day.”

Nikolai’s lips turn into a playful smile and he’s about to say something definitely smart and smooth but a servant interrupts him:

“Your most royal highness,” she says nervously as she curtsies, “your mother wishes to see you. She seems thoroughly upset, if I may say so.” Judging by her fearful, wide-open eyes, she must have gotten a taste of your parents' hurt ego.

Anxiety once again floods your mind. Maybe you should go, apologize and pray they won’t go on a tirade about ‘raising you differently’. But then you hear Nikolai inconspicuously but meaningfully clear his throat.

‘You’re the queen’, his voice echoes in your head. A queen doesn’t cower and bow her head, does she?

“Tell her I don’t take visitations tonight,” you order the servant.

“Right away, моя царица.” She can’t hide the waver in her voice. Judging by her already fearful demeanour, she can guess quite well what will happen the moment she relays the information.

Yes, you will have to warn your parents that they actually can’t hurl insults at your servants. It’s going to be challenging, yes, but this newfound confidence is a ferocious beast, driving you to own up to the title of the queen - not in the way your mother and father want you to but in a way that you need to.

“Oh, one more thing.” The girl immediately stops and turns around at the sound of your voice. “Make sure they don’t leave their wing until either of us says so. I don’t want them wandering around my home.”

“Of course, my Queen.”

The servant bows again and leaves the two of you in a rushed step. Nikolai waits until she disappears around the corner to let his hand drop to the small of your back. He leans in close, indecently so. “I love it when you get all commanding,” he whispers against your neck.

An airy laugh leaves your lips as he pecks the soft skin behind your ear.

____

мой царь [mo-ee tzar] -> my tsar/king

моя царица [mo-ya tsa-ree-tsa] -> my tsaritsa/queen

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